(...) I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore except I know it feels roomy and it’s drenched in sunlight and it’s weightless and I know it’s not cheap. Probably not even real.
Mark Z. Danielewski, from House Of Leaves
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Grief is the ghost of love...
"Most times, a ghost is a wish."
""I loved you completely, and you loved me the same," she said, "that's all." And this was the point I wanted the most to make. That at the end of our life, if we can say this about each other, the rest doesn't matter. It’s the love that stays."
“I'm in the hallway again, I'm in the hallway. The
radio's playing my favorite song. Leave the lights on. Keep talking. I'll keep walking toward the sound of your voice."
"you can’t take loved away. time and death and mistakes take people from you, but nothing and no one can take back that love... everything changes irreversibly with every second that passes, but nothing and no one can change the fact that i was loved and i loved back... you can’t take it away from me. i was loved. i was loved."
"At the root of every ghost, a yearning. A tug, in which a living person reaches so fervently toward something absent, that the absence becomes bodied.
As anyone who has known loss understands full well, lack is not in fact, an absence at all. It is a presence. A person we love dies, or leaves, or changes, and a gap forms. It takes on their shape. Mimics their movement. Echoes their voice like a mockingbird. We feel this gap take up space, filling every place our lost one once was, and now isn’t. It reflects in mirrors. Flickers in candle flames. A phantom."
The Amazing Devil, Inkpot Gods//Jamie Anderson//Haunting of Hill House//twitter user @tothedeaths//Lang Leav, Memories//@boymartyr//Mike Flanagan//Xie Lei, Blow//Valeria Luiselli, Faces in the Crowd (tr. Christina MacSweeney)//Haunting of Hill House//Richard Silken, You Are Jeff//Henri Nouwen//Spiritfarer//@boymiffy & @petrichara//Amanda Lovelace, to drink coffee with a ghost//Max LL, What You Leave Behind//@nickyandmikey//The Newton Brothers//@wifegideonnav//Shannon Barry//GennaRose Nethercott, “A Ghost Is a Memory.” On Bodies, Belief, and the Places Ghost Stories Live
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This does come with the caveat that I can't quite remember if the characters in How to Find a Princess, Funeral Songs for Dying Girls, and Chain-Gang All-Stars identity specifically as lesbians or not, but they are all sapphic. Full titles under the cut!
EDIT: Apparently Alice Walker is a big proponent of a famous antisemitic conspiracy theorist, David Icke, so be aware of that when considering The Color Purple
Happy Lesbian Visibility Week! 📚📖🏳️🌈
Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H
In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado
How to Find a Princess by Alyssa Cole
Cantoras by Carolina De Robertis
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta
Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg
Funeral Songs for Dying Girls by Cherie Dimaline
Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
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Angela Carter, from “The Lady of the House of Love”, The Bloody Chamber & Other Stories
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You are so good. So good, you’re always feeling so much. And sometimes it feels like you’re gonna bust wide open from all the feeling, don’t it? People like you are the best in the world, but you sure do suffer for it.
Silas House
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Something something about Bucks downstairs bathroom and it representing his innermost and truest self - almost a representation of his heart.
Because the door to Bucks bathroom being open and the room lit blue when Tommy came over, both of them crossing in front of that doorway has got me thinking because the bathroom door was firmly closed when Eddie was at the loft in 7x05.
This did a couple of things, it removed the blue light from the space so it was overwhelmingly yellow. But it also closed of a part of Bucks loft, metaphorically closing off a part of Buck.
I’m not 100% sure but I’m pretty sure we’ve only ever seen that door closed or very slightly ajar (I think when Taylor was around we saw it ajar - I’m going to have to go rewatch to be categorically sure) before now, the one big exception being when Buck was in that bathroom putting on a bullet proof vest in 4x14.
The other aspect is that Bucks bathroom has a glass door - and we all know about Buck and glass doors. Buck has metaphorically opened the glass door to his inner most self to Tommy, but he’s not able to do that for Eddie.
Because this isn’t about coming out, this is about opening up to the possibility of love and being loved in return - in a romantic sense.
If I’m right about the door being ajar around Taylor (not always but at certain points) this shows he was still somewhat closed off - he was open, but not all the way. He went into that room - into his innermost heart - when Eddie was injured - and put on a bullet proof vest - protecting his heart (and don’t get me started on that artwork about shouting at the top of your voice that is now also at the diaz house).
And now the door was fully opened when he had his first queer kiss - Buck being open to possibility- but firmly shut when he comes out to Eddie.
Something something about it no ring shut to Eddie, because he’s not ready to open the door to the possibility of Eddie yet (Eddie is also not available at the moment). But I think when he is and when Eddie is also ready or nearly ready, we’ll see that door open again when Eddie is in the loft.
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