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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

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In Need of a Breath

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4007

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback

A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day.

This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.

I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.

Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.

“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.

Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.

There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.

You had been there.

You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.

But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.

“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”

“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.

“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”

“I didn’t necessarily agree-”

“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”

You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Steve took all that with him.”

Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”

You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”

“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”

“Are you doing okay?”

You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”

“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”

You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”

Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”

“What?”

“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”

Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”

“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”

“I dunno.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”

Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”

“And the longest?”

“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.”

Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”

“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.

He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”

“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”

“I wasn’t!”

“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”

“It’s just been homework and stuff-”

“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”

“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Whaddya mean?”

You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”

He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”

“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”

He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”

You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”

“Because you loved him.”

“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.

“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”

You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”

There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”

“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”

“It’s…a tough topic.”

You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”

“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.

****************

“What?”

Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”

“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”

“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”

Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.

“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”

“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.

“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.

“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”

The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”

You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”

A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”

“What did you do?!”

“We need him!”

“You’re going back to prison.”

“If I may-”

All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”

You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…

“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”

You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”

What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.

Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?

You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.

Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.

Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.

You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.

But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.

“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are.

“Bucky, I’m not mad.”

“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”

You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”

His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”

You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure.”

He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”

“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”

*****************

Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.

You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.

His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.

The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.

You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.

You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.

You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”

Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”

“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I like Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”

Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.

“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”

Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”

“Why not? Everyone loves you.”

“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”

You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”

“...because I’m good at it?”

“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”

You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”

“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”

“Whaddya mean?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”

“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”

He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”

“Y/N!”

You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”

You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”

“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”

Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”

“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”

You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.

“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”

“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”

You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”

He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”

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shinjukuspiritcommittee · 3 years

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Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

#tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #Just Thoughts #qna #sfw

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justicebled · 3 years

Text

on yuri and raven.

one relationship i won’t go into too much for spoilers sake is yuri and raven. i feel like raven genuinely feels hope from yuri and the wolf pack family that he’s somehow found himself in charge of. how yuri defies injustice and fate and cruelty and wrongdoing when everyone else is too slow or looking the other way. who actively fights for the people he (struggles to admit) he loves and i don’t write raven but i feel that he’s baffled if his manga is any consolation, that yuri is furious both at raven and for him.

there are so many scenes that convey hurt, betrayal, and grief that slip through yuri’s unflappable demeanor and by the time raven realizes it, yuri snaps. raven doesn’t see him as this atypical shonen hero. he isn’t a shonen hero at all, but an unconventional, unique one along with other titles / monikers.

but here are just some of the clips and just.

yuri, instead of raven, who should be killing don whitehorse instead, steps into bear once again the heaviest burden. raven is appalled that a man of only 21 near approaching 22 is taking the role of justice and in a twisted way for the don, mercy, for having broken his morals / guild laws. i can’t help but think because he knows who yuri is, selfless, unintentionally heroic, gold-hearted to a fault and unyielding, you have enough on your plate kid. stop. stop. and raven is the first to tell the party to leave yuri alone as he mourns whitehorse’s death.

we see him realize how much yuri cares in the final minutes at shrine of baction and how raven, a man so broken by life, and yuri a man who is also broken, all of brave vesperia has broken parts made whole and unwhole in one another? enough to be angry. enough to yank him off his ass to fight for the will to live.

enough to slip and even say in faltering words, ‘even if it was some joke to you!’

then yuri says the words that apply to everyone who makes choices to live, to act, to do.

yuri never gets this angry openly he’s a slow cooker. he’s so in control of his emotions and yet when it comes to one of his own, he loses that composure at the last minute. for the sake of people who’ve died, who live, who continue on or fell along the way, you live until the last minute. as he told duke early on,’ i don’t know why we’re put on this earth but once you’re here? i figure you give it everything you’ve got.’ remember, this is how raven legitimately sees yuri. not the sarcastic, blunt, rough man, but the kind, selfless, painfully good spirit underneath. which is why yuri’s suffering is so clear to the ‘old man’. why he knows exactly how deep the pain of his actions and choices will cost him.

yuri is simply doing what should be done. justice where there is none. help where none will be kind. goodness that comes at a price and the consequences / the not sugarcoating that come with it, and he moves forward. raven has been stuck in time for years and literally died once. and this man, this bright-eyed realist and absolutely i-have-no-reason-to-be-a-good-man/heroic person, i think is like a bright light that leads the way realistically, imperfect and broken. not for his wit or his jokes. or his rough nature.

but because yuri lowell is good, selfless, and never gives up. ever. and HE WILL NOT TOLERATE GIVING UP IN OTHERS. that’s just pitying yourself.

and yuri lowell doesn’t give up on who he loves and he also won’t tolerate the bullshit that dying will make up for all you’ve done or haven’t dared to do.

yuri will go forward with being justice / enacting it / facing consequences and triumphs and ups and downs until the end and he isn’t letting raven not do the same or die trying.

and really? for all his harsh words to raven? his face says it all.

note yuri KEPT raven in the party because he didn’t trust him. he wasn’t an idiot. he didn’t fall into the usual ‘i trust you’ which was very clever on tales of’s part as most traitors don’t get found out as fast. but even being betrayed, so many times in his life by the world, his lot, even the people closest to him? yet here it is, this is is the face of a man who sees that ‘worthless old man’ as worthwhile, that untrustworthy man as worth fighting to knock sense into. yuri doesn’t waste his time on those who won’t listen to him.

but he gives his all for raven, even betrayed and lied to, the distrustful wolf of zaphias, giving his all for a ‘deadbeat old man’ who no longer believes in a future and telling him to get off his ass.

and he doesn’t mind punching his face in to get him back on his feet. because he may have never known family, never trusted anyone since flynn, but it’s different now. and if yuri who is bearing everything isn’t allowed to give up? raven isn’t allowed to give up without a damn fight because he’s one of their own.

he isn’t allowed to ‘make up for’ his mistakes or his lot in life by dying. he’s going to struggle with yuri even if yuri has to drag him back up again and again.

this isn’t ‘the power of friendship’ nonsense. this is yuri and raven both needing to GENUINELY live to make sure their actions good AND bad have meaning just like the cast of vesperia itself has to.

yuri isn’t going to hold his hand. he’s going to jerk it up and punch him in the face for giving up. but he’s the first person who will hold it out after the beating. he isn’t going to coddle anyone. but yuri will hold raven accountable. he will hold himself accountable. and while he doesn’t know that raven survives? he’s ready to punch him in the afterlife if he doesn’t fight to come back to them and drag him screaming if he has to. for once, yuri is willing to bet on that. and that says a lot on how he feels about raven.

...and he’ll never admit it.

basically yuri has no time for pity-party crap no matter how awful / or giving up / feeling sorry for yourself. he can’t fight for you but he sure as hell will give you a wake up call and the party member besides estelle who faces this with the most care behind it really is raven himself.

tl;dr: yuri has no time for martrydom.

#i'm emo about yuri and raven ha #love them #an idiot old man and a guy with too much on his damn plate #𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐒 ✴ —— blood pools beneath your feet; shadowed heart; ragged bone and moonglow.#also raven's respect for yuri is so ugh #just ugh #smh raven

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astro-break · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on the third ep of Hypmic Rhythm Anima (as always, spoilers beware but not only for the anime itself but for future things covered in the Drama CD and the Manga. If you’re an anime only, those are marked with a *)

Right off the bat. Super disappointed that it isn’t a MTC episode. I wanted an MTC episode. :((((

Still got my MTC crumbs this week tho and I think I can hold out until next week which hopefully will give me the MTC episode I so desperately want (Yes, i have a division bias and i’m not afraid to show it)

Jakurai entertaining kids are just so cute. I think its very very precious.

* Also. What kind of doctor is Jakurai anyways? So far we know that he’s a councilor/therapist (helps Doppo w/ his anxiety), a pediatrician (he helped a kid), a family doctor (I think i might be wrong on this one), a surgeon (In the FP vs MTC manga he’s shown preforming surgery), a hitman/assassin (:/ yeah evil line records seems intent on retconning this one), a battle field medic (he’s state to be one during WWIII) and now he’s getting called into the orthopedic (things concerning the musculoskeletal system) and gastroenterology (working w. the digestive system) department, two things that have nothing in common with each other. And I’m sure I’m missing some. There is no way in hell this man can do all that he’s 35 for fucks sake. You’d be old and grey before you could learn and complete the credentials needed to work half of these jobs

Nice to now that theres some hints of jakurai’s past. I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing more of the detective later in the story, esp for Matenrou

Doppo being overworked as usual *sigh*. When will the man ever rest? Never... Though im a bit skeptical as to why one of his co-workers calls him doppo. this is a work environment, usually he’d be called “Kanonzaka” for the least amount of informality. seems sus to me. Though his depiction of his insecurities is nice

I love how his first reaction is to call Hifumi and as him if he’s killed anyone. Peak bromance guys.

Honestly Doppo’s method of trying to calm down is nice but not at all effective. He has the right mindset of calming down and letting his body breath, but the way he goes about it is... eh.

Tom and Iris’ argument is hilarious and I really want to see more of them and Rex! Can’t wait to see what happens with these three new characters

Iasdgfjsd;flkasjdflkasdjfkasdlvn ajsdk, MTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

MY BPOYS OH MY GOD RIOU NEVER CHANGE

fsajghasdf i love them asdhfoiksldjfasdfj riou’s food looks so so so so so good omgggggg

Samatoki respecting the fuck outta Jakurai is amazing and I never get tired of their father-child kind of relationship (yes jakurai is a dad to TDD fight me.)

The Riou and Samatoki interactionnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ah my heart!! they know each other so well and play off each others strengths. its so cute and I love how Samatoki knows his teammates well enough to know when to play each of his pieces. He isn’t just some brute who speaks through his fists, but he does use his head too. I think this is one of the reasons why he’s also high up on the Yakuza ladder since he’s not only brawny but also brainy

EAT RIOUS FOOD SAMATOKI

ah yes, Jyuto kneeing a bitch. just what I needed to see on a stressful friday thank you for feeding me

I love MTC, im very happy with the MTC crumbs. Since MTR showed up in BB’s ep last week, i really really hope that next week’s ep will be MTC

There it is. Jakurai’s “Jitsuni Kyoumibukai” line

lolololololol the sound effects for MTR is hilarious. Though please give Doppo a break, man deserves it

Jaku’s hair man. its beautiful

Again, please give Doppo a break, he deserves with the 4 joints that they attacked

They say 3 times, but they attacked 4 places?? Did they not report one of them?

Ahhhhh the DoHifu interaction on the temple grounds is both hilarious and cute. Though I can’t help but feel bad for Doppo

* Huh, Jaku did you get that from your hitman days loll

Oh man host mode. Though I like how Doppo recognizes when Host Mode is a legitimate shield that Hifumi needs and is willing to give him that shield when he needs it. God I love their dynamic]

wow... yet another female stalker for Hifumi... very original. This is pretty similar to the stalker girl from the manga and CD

Lol callback to when Doppo was in the toilet and trying to calm down.

pffft the girl is so weird. I can’t stand her or Uwabami.

The plot is so convoluted holy shit. Is this a drama now? (I’ve never watched any c-dramas or k-dramas so I’m the furthest thing from a voice of authority but this seems like a drama show plot lmao.)

This is just a drama at this point lol. Misunderstandings, plot twists and cheesy shit all over the place. Its a badly written and hilarious drama thats for sure

Someone please write a fic where instead of the hypmic universe, the boys are all in a tv drama show plot and their hijinks bc it would fit perfectly. please

Ah, Doppochin snapped~ He’s very interesting once he gets fired up and thats when I really really like MTR. Don’t get me wrong, I love them normally but its when they get down to it that really makes me squeal in delight

Oh! So i think each character gets their own personalized intro w/ their speakers, not just the leaders. Thats honestly so so so cool. The 3D didn’t get in the way of the sequence and was really flashy and smooth. I love how they show the transformation and reveal of the mic and speaker. Honestly the Anime has so many good takes on thigs that aren’t touched on often in the franchise.

The rap was honestly fire this time around. I love it and have replayed it almost 20 times. According to the ending credits its called Welcome U which is so cute for such a funny and badass song. The strong base beat and imagery were so strong and included a lot of homages to things that really matches both Shinjuku, Matenrou and the lyric’s themes and they’re really small but important details! The humor was on point without sacrificing any of the amazingly cool elements and the three distinct styles of rap were integrated in such a catchy melody!

EG) the verse All Year Round features a quick shot of the four seasons and the things most prominently associated with each season. Spring has cherry blossoms and flower viewing, Summer has festivals, Fall and Winter have food that corresponds to events that happen in those seasons.

Doppo’s line of “The flea counters w/ a bite” is so so so cute bc he’s got a little w at the end and thats jp chatspeak for a laugh and skjdfhsdjfkslad adorable

Hifumi picking up right after and asking if Doppo is okay is just. Goals. And his gratutious english works really well and is super smooth! Very very good

Also the small homage to The Champions with Hifumi’s “Jump around” line and the format where Hifumi takes separate lines than Jaku and Doppo. Its a brilliant way to sneak these references in and they’ve kept that theme going from last episode

Foreshadowing with “We’re the true leader, Matenro!” Nice touch there lol.

Lol of course its attempted murder. Still gotta keep this PG 13 even though theres swearing abound

The ending w/ mimimi..... leaves me kind of torn since i don’t like how it ended but they did provide some nice advice. i guess

lsdf;jsalkdfjsldf Hifumi please you’ve known Doppo for over 25 years, you should know better than anyone what his charm points are. and shouldn’t you be the one who understands Doppo’s appeal? smh

SCREEEEEEE THAT TITLE OF THE NEXT EP. if its an MTC ep i will scream even more bc asudhfsdkjflasd A friend in need is a friend indeed this is just pushing my Poly!MTC agenda isn’t it

Final thoughts:

Please please please let next week be MTC please please please

DoHifu are goals, both romantically and platonically

The rap was fire and I’m going to keep listening to it on repeat. First ep was a bit of a disappointment in terms of CGI and raps but these latest two eps are really picking up the slack! I really hope they continue this for the next two!

JAKURAI WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU PLEASE TELL ME

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic rhyme anima #hypnosis mic rythme anima spoilers #hypmic spoilers

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joy1579 · 4 years

Note

Hey! So... When I started to play Mystic messenger I was a teenager, so I was wondering how the boys and Jaehee would react discovering that MC was a teenager too (platonic of course) I loved your headcanons btw ♥️

gah its been forever and a day since i was a kid. and even then i was like really bad at being a kid heh what do teenagers do? all i did was hide in the library and avoid socializing oops. whatever i had a lot of fun writing this! honestly i think they would all be very protective of you since the RFA really feels like one big family!

Jumin

He is proud of you and wants to provide you with future opportunities because that’s how he cares about people, by giving them a means to earn money and have purpose. Also he is very interested in what you can teach him about pop culture.

- Age doesn’t matter to him too much. Maturity does and you had proven your maturity by helping the RFA faithfully and well

- In fact, he is very proud of how well you did and mentions that your professionalism at such a young age shows great potential should you apply to C&R (you know him well enough to take it for the compliment it is intended to be)

- His presence practically drips with “proud dad preparing for his daughter’s future” vibes and considering the 11-year age gap you suppose you couldn’t ask for much better

- That is until he hears you chatting on the phone and using slang he’s never heard before

- Now he’s curious and asking questions. You show him some him some vines you have saved and teach him a bit about pop culture leading to an unlikely but very fun friendship

- You and he tease zen a lot by having Jumin use made up slang and you pretending its super cool and zen’s just not with it. Also imagine getting Jumin to do a secret handshake just to piss Zen off. It ends with the “nyah” pose

Yoosung

Acts like your best friend that you enjoy teasing. He wants to be a good role model but that shiz is hard. You two bond a lot over stories about school and the struggles of exams.

- He is very relieved to not be the youngest anymore because now maybe everyone will stop treating him like a baby. (spoiler alert they won’t. Ever.)

- He worries that he’s supposed to act like a big brother. He doesn’t know how to do that! He’s always been the baby brother, or the youngest member, or the newest intern. How does one be responsible?

- Tries and fails to intimidate guys away from you to “protect” you (but zen said it was his duty to keep you safe! He said all men are wolves MC!)

- “If all men are wolves why isn’t he worried about you Yoosung?” “huh? Hey wait yeah! Does he not think I’m a man?!” “ go get em tiger. give zen a piece of your mind”

- He helps you with homework a lot but no cheating! He tells you about the time he cheated to pass a class only to get to the next level class and understand NOTHING it took a lot of tutoring and studying and work to fix that mess. Best to learn it now while it’s still learnable.

- He refuses to teach you LOL “don’t end up like me MC! Be better!” you learn it anyway and end up playing with him frequently. The rest of the RFA blame him for this much to his dismay.

Saeyoung

he wants to protect you in his own frankly silly way. still meme’s it up but doesnt want anyone “corrupting” you. actually he kind of treats you the way he would treat saeran.

- He fights with V for the first time when V suggests leaving you in Rika’s apartment (with a bomb) but reluctantly comes around and does what V says

- Stays a meme lord and is psyched if you can manage to out meme him

- Definitely teases you about your age a lot (Yoosung is secretly glad to not be the ONLY one getting teased for being young)

- “guys we have to protect the baby she has her whole life ahead of her”

- Is the most adamant about not swearing, drinking or smoking around you

- “y’all need Jesus there are CHILDREN here”

- You may have to call him out on this behavior because seriously wtf you know for a fact hacking isn’t the most ethical or legal occupation and he’s gonna lecture you?!?

- He may joke around but he up’s his protection game up about 10 notches because for real you have your whole life ahead of you

Zen

he basically adopts you okay. he wants to be your cool big brother friend and be everything his family never was for him. he takes care of you and stands up for you every chance he can.

- He finds out very early on because the second he starts flirting seven shuts that shit down telling him your too young for that. He asks how young and is shocked but recovers pretty fast

- You know the protective big brother trope? Yeah that’s him

- He’s your ride or die friend too. Need a ride to school? He’s there on his bike, some dick is harassing you? He’s there to scare the punk off, and even though he doesn’t want to fight a kid he will if he has too

- If its girls who are harassing, you he picks you up to give your rep a bit of a boost (it never hurts to be seen with such a handsome guy after all and if he shows up on his bike he’s also got the badass vibe going on)

- He has ALWAYS wanted a little sister and now he’s adopted you. You’re his little sis now and he’s wrapped around your finger. He swears he’ll be a better brother than his brother was

- He is so proud of all your accomplishments and is determined to encourage your dreams the way his parents never did (he might be living his family wishes vicariously through you but hey he treats you good so it’s cool)

Jaehee

- She’s a bit worried about you taking on such a big responsibility as the RFA guest liaison at such a young age. What if your grads drop? Or you family gets upset? What if you had to also work a part time job and this interfered your young you need to be able to rest and live your life. (when you point out that she should do the same she brushes you off)

- Not much changes honestly, she’s always been the RFA’s mom after all.

- She gets a little stricter about language and “inappropriate” topics

- She definitely encourages you to study and do well in school (and avoid any job’s Mr. Han offers you)

- She still down to be your friend though! She’s all ears when you need to vent about school and you are always ready to lend an ear back when Jumin is giving you a hard time

- You swap girl power ballads and she helps you set up a Zen fan club at your high school

Saeran

- Look he didn’t intend to kidnap and actual kid and he’s honestly a bit panicked when he finds out your age you looked older than that he swears

- Thankfully your mature enough and smart enough to do what’s needed of you and he supposes as long as you don’t have a family searching for you it should be okay

Ray

- He’s a little more reserved but honestly not much changes he’s still innocent and devoted he calls you princess and tries to spoil you as much as he can he may not see you as a romantic interest but your still his obsession.

- He likes that you trusted him even more since your young and therefor more vulnerable. You’re his family now, a better family than he’s ever had.

- If you are the princess, he is your knight in the strictest definition. Which is to say he is devoted to protecting and serving you out of dedication and reverence rather than romance.

Unknown

- He’s more verbally aggressive than physically aggressive

- He doesn’t try as hard to seem intimidating because he thinks of you as a child, and he doesn’t have to prove how tough he is to a child it’s obvious after all.

- Also his visits are simultaneously shorter and more frequent. Shorter because he tends to get flashbacks easier (since he sees you as a child despite you being a teen) and more frequent because they are less satisfying since he doesn’t let himself be physically aggressive.

Vanderwood

(IDK why but I feel like he probably had an actual family with a girlfriend/wife and possibly a very very young daughter before the agency. Maybe she left him and that’s why he’s so impressed by MC’s dedication in the secret ending. Or maybe they’re both dead because broken hearts make more money than whole ones. Either way I think a teen MC would remind him of his possible family and so he would be hell bent on separating you from the danger and drama of literally everything that happens in the game.)

- He’s legitimately (and rightfully) concerned about you when he see’s you on seven’s CCTV feed

- protective and angry dad mode activated

- threatens to tazer seven into oblivion if he lets something (or causes something to) happen to you

- “what the hell are you doing she’s a civilian AND she’s got her whole life before her, you and I might have thrown away our lives but she didn’t! whatever’s going on you had better fix it NOW”

- He is not speaking with you. No way no how. Every word he says to you puts you more in danger and he is not having your life on his conscious

- That being said the second you’re in danger he is all in on ANNIHILATING whatever has put you in danger

#mysme #mystic messenger #mm #jumin #jumin han #yoosung #yoosung kim #seayoung #seven #luciel #zen #hyun ryu #jaehee #jaehee kang #saeran #ray #unknown #vanderwood

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justal0wk3yg4mer · 4 years

Text

Things I’ve Said: Detroit: Become Human (Spoilers)

Me: *Player/My actions* Character Dialogue:

Y’all future? I am so sorry ma’am I am what you may call a button masher.

I LOVE the sound coming from my controller. Not important but, it is to me.

Conner: My name is Conner. I’m the android sent by Cyberlife.” Me: Ah, the most famous line in this whole game. I’ve never played this game and I already know this line. Thanks memes.

Oh shit this is so nerve wrecking, I don’t want anyone to get hurt. *A few seconds later.* No Daniel!!!!!! I’m so sorry!!!

Hello Kara. I am the gamer sent by boredom.

Drugs? Drugs! Oh, bad drugs. You need to get rid of that shit.

Todd is tryin’ to one up the tide pod challenge.

Did I really put an anti-depressant next to a gun?!

Carl, you’ve only be awake for a few minutes and I can tell that you are the most wise and wholesome human in this game.

Oh good another druggie. I see that twitch.

Conner is acting like a sassy New York gangster.

This is some weird death robo orgy.

ROBO JESUS!!!!!!!!

Makeover! Now lets see. I like the white but that’s too main anime character white. Cops will notice you a mile away. Oh, I like the black. Like a cool and edgy mom.

Oh damn, Markus has that Assassin’s Creed programming.

OH NO! I lost the robo jesus coat!

Okay, all you beautiful and LIVING people stay here. I’m going to go commit a felony.

Kara, you need to put a ring on that man.

Bitch you playin’ roulette with your life?!?!?!

IT’S A BIG WOOFER!!!!!!😍

This is the best game ever. My choice of clothing is hippy, stripy, or streaky. And I am having a really hard time choosing, but since we’re going to a sex club Ima go with streaky. Very pimp like.

I’m about to be real fucking depressed if all these Jerry’s deactivate after finally seeing a little kid one last time.

I HESITATED. FUCK!!!!!

Perkins: Androids investigating androids. Me: Crazy. Like humans investigating humans. What a fucking prick.

Oh fuck, I forgot Simon.

That is the first legitimate doorbell I’ve heard in this game.

*Kara realizing that Alice is an android.* Oh shi- no I figured that out a long time to go.

*Conner becomes a devient.* YES! Fuck off Amanda I don’t give a shit. Home boi free!

Perkins you fucking cunt.

House: Alarm deactivated. Welcome home Markus. I’m gonna cry. *Markus and Carl reunite.* I am legitimately crying. This is the content I need in my life.

Conner: (Cyberlife) They trust me. Me: OOF wait Conner. I’d sell Amanda for half a corn chip.

I am so confused. I’m getting the cues but I don’t know which Conner I am. *Misses a cues and Conner gets kicked in the face.* Me: Me. Me, that one’s me.

Fine! Next time I’ll take the damn tickets!

Power of love fuckers!!!!

Conner? Conner you good? *Enters his now dark and snowy mindscape.* Oh no, you’re not good.

Alice, honey, angel, sweetheart. Do that shit again and I’ll have a heart attack.

*Watching the credits.* So sequel baiting? A final credit? What am I waiting for? *Hank and Conner reunite and hug.* The fields are flourishing, the sun is shining and my day has been made.

I really enjoyed this game, the characters were amazing and so diverse. The storyline was so much fun and all those choices! It was really interesting to see how certain choices affected everyone’s lives. I’m surprised with how I did. I got a pretty good ending (even though I lost Luther! 😭). This post’s word count actually concerned my roommate a little with how many times I said it and how I said it. Those of you that have played this game will understand.

I’M SO SORRY! : 356

#Things I've Said #detroit become human #dbh #connor rk800 #dbh markus #dbh kara #video games #gaming

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phoenixrisesoncemore · 4 years

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But Whose Deontology?

The Untamed: three-fifths mark

OK, @thearrogantemu I finally had a chance to look at a non-work screen for long enough to watch some more Untamed; through episode 30 now! Oh boy. Spoilers for anyone who isn’t this far yet below the cut:

I feel like this show didn’t exactly *hide* that it was interested in poking holes in everyone’s moral system, but it did spend a lot of time... not distracting us, really, but using the other assorted comical, tender, and otherwise emotional aspects of the show to deepen our investment in these characters’ lives and choices before it started really making its moves. I suspect it wouldn’t have had the same effect otherwise.

The long run up is a pacing I’m quite the fan of from almost three decades of JRPGs that start out as light-hearted adventures about teenage angst only to turn into philosophical ruminations on God and the nature of the universe (see my favorite example: Xenogears). Even The Lord of the Rings does something... similar, albeit not intentionally on the part of the author. It’s actually one of my favorite “tropes” in storytelling: the tone shift—the moment the light-hearted and comfortingly simple reveals itself to be something much wider and deeper and which will leave you unsettled in its wake.(1)

I’m really quite impressed with Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo. Xiao Zhan manages to believably play the process of aging from arrogant and ornery but innocent and lovable “student” in Cloud Recesses, to the (still arrogant and ornery but lovable) rebellious “hero” during the Wen indoctrination, to the (still arrogant but lovable) young man forced to grow up too fast when his adoptive parents are killed, to the Master of Demonic Cultivation and head of The World’s Most Wholesome Farming Co-op (why cultivate only demons when you can cultivate turnips, too!?).(2) And he manages to play it all as believably the same character, always deeply expressive but also somehow... authentic... even when he is putting on a show: his play-acted irresponsible argumentativeness with Wen Qing; his self-infantilization whenever he wants Yanli to mother him. The latter would be laughable if we were to take it as entirely straight-faced—he knows he is playing childish, and he knows that she knows, even if he does legitimately want to be mothered. Jiang Cheng on the other hand seems to never handle the reality of Wei Wuxian as well as Wei Wuxian handles the reality of Jiang Cheng...

I understand there was some criticism of Yibo’s perceived lack of expressiveness when the show first came out, but I think he’s doing a fantastic job portraying a deeply stoic character whose emotional turmoil is buried under mountains of learned and self-enforced composure. It’s not like he’s missing beats; he’s responding, it’s just subtle. He’s responsible for two of my favorite moments so far: when he first smiles ever so slightly when he sees the lantern Wuxian has made him with the rabbit drawing(3) and the scene of him kneeling in the snow as punishment. I don’t know if it’s the lighting or the fact that it’s one of the few times he’s not carrying tension in his eyebrows, but he looks SO YOUNG in that shot. Honestly, he looks more AT PEACE in that shot than I think he does at almost any other time in the show so far. It feels to me like, in that moment, he has no regrets either about what he did nor about the fact that he should have to atone for it. Like he has internalized some sense that both things are right and can exist in tension. The weird effect of this growth next to Wei Wuxian’s feels like watching one of the two grow older (Wuxian) while the other grows younger (Wangji).

Now, I’m a sucker for every last story where two highly disparate-seeming people move from from some variation of dislike (either on the part of one or both) to friendship to, sometimes, something more (no, no BL here, none at all *looks the other way*). Certainly Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have very different personalities. Wei Wuxian has little regard for rules, authority, tradition, taboos, or social etiquette: he uses Lan Wangji’s ming(4) almost as soon as he meets him! The way he interacts with objects and spaces (and personal space!) shows his lack of reverence/respect for the people and things others expect him to have reverence for. He has no problem questioning what everyone else seems to see as obvious up to the point of outright suggesting the use of dark magic. Because...well, why not?? Because “they said so?”

It’s not that he doesn’t KNOW the rules. Another of my absolute favorite moments is during the Wen indoctrination when Wei Wuxian starts reciting not the Wen clan principles, but the Lan clan principles! Sure, he lacks the expected respect for sources of authority be they personal or ideological, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t KNOW them. He’s obviously naturally talented, gifted, a fast learner, curious, but also—and crucially—he has a very strong moral compass! He does not tolerate bullies, especially when they turn their attention to the vulnerable, like Wen Chao.(5) Yanli notes that their father always favors those with moral integrity and who does he favor? Wei Wuxian.

And this is where he and Lan Wangji are more alike than Wangji initially thinks, and why I love that moment, just after they release the lanterns, when you see, just for a second, the surprise on his face at the content of Wei Wuxian’s prayer: that he always be able to “stand with justice and live with no regrets.” It is, I imagine, the moment when it really hits Wangji that this rebel he finds himself irrationally attracted to truly is *good* despite the fact that he shows no outward signs of respecting the same sources of moral authority Wangji does.

So what is the main difference? Where the rules come from. Who makes the rules? Both of them are pretty sure they know.

Lan Wangji gets his moment to present his source just after their rooftop duel when he catches Wei Wuxian drinking: the Lan Clan principles chiseled right into stone. All 3000 of them. Interestingly, even though Wei Wuxian can and does memorize the code and seems perfectly happy with the notion of moral principles in general, I’ll wager a guess that he is confused by the very idea that a moral code would be so strict and unchanging and inflexible that it could be chiseled into stone *in the first place* or that it would *need to be memorized*. Surely you’d just...”know?” Besides, morality is too contextual to treat this way surely?

As a CLH (Confirmed Lifelong Heretic) my sympathies admittedly lie more with Wei Wuxian than Lan Wangji. It’s not that traditional codes of ethics and conduct are bad things. These are the things that provide stability across entire cultures and peoples. If they’re written in stone, at least that means they’re something everyone has a greater chance of pointing to and agreeing on.(7) And just as Lan Wangji has to learn that there are moral codes that aren’t written in stone and that individual minds can have very clear senses of right and wrong outside of group structures, Wei Wuxian has to learn to temper his arrogance—that his actions, for however right he *thinks* they are, can and do have consequences he would not intend for those he loves, as when he stops himself from calling to Wangji during the hunt. I have a feeling he’s going to be learning more...

Then there’s that whole conversation from ep. 29 as Lan Wangji prepares to leave the burial mounds which is just full of whammies (set, naturally, against the exceedingly domestic reality of the community as a whole and their exceedingly sweet interactions with a-Yuan). Wei Wuxian says: “But let yourself be the judge of what is right and what is wrong, leave others’ comments aside, and care little about gain and loss. What I should do. I know it very well. I believe that I’ll be able to control it well.” And then there’s that moment where you can actually feel Lan Wangji’s heart drop into the pit of his stomach as he presses his eyes closed.

This is the reverse of the moment when Wangji directed Wuxian’s attention to the list of Lan clan principles, so solid they are written in stone.(8)

Then there is that wonderful bit about their respective paths—Lan Wangji’s path vs. Wei Wuxian’s path: the wide avenue vs the one-log bridge. I assume this is a literal translation of the Mandarin. Is it an idiom? If so, I may mangle its meaning terribly and for that I am sorry. But it seems to me that a wide avenue is safe, easy, populated; a single-log bridge is comparatively dangerous and only one person can walk it. Which seems a pretty good metaphor for the differences in whose rule-book each of the leads chooses. Not to mention, with my Western ears, it sounds a WHOLE lot like a “straight and narrow path.” Interesting then, that it is The Master of Demonic Cultivation who is choosing it, while Lan Wangji—with his brightness and discipline and clarity—is following the “easy” way.

So, there it is: whose deontology is the right one? How do you choose?

It’s the epistemological aspect of the question of ethics that Newbigin gets right in that quote I posted the other day. Honestly, I disagree with a great deal (like, a lot) of what Newbigin says in that book, and I think he spends far too much time running himself in ever tighter Calvinist circles, (not to mention I have little interest in missiology and am highly skeptical of evangelism). But! I appreciate that he does, at least, recognize the danger of believing we have insulated ourselves completely from uncertainty or of expecting that certainty is even a thing possible to achieve.

But where do we choose to anchor our axioms? And why? Whose deontology is the right deontology? The rules written on parchment and stone? Or the rules written on our souls? Remembering, of course, that both are fallible. 16 years in the future, will the two leads have changed their minds at all?

And now with any luck, I’ll have a free weekend in which to watch the last 20 episodes, assuming no one wants me to do adult things like house cleaning or completing design projects people are paying me for.(10)

Like how Tolkien switches register from the low and comedic to the high and romantic but you’re fully aware it’s all really part of the same story and suddenly, bam!, you recognize that those aspects of life are somehow not able to be disentangled.

OMG is this an intentional play on “cultivation”? Sometimes I can’t tell what might be getting lost in translation, and I’m certainly too ignorant of Chinese culture, mythology, and folklore to really appreciate everything happening in this show, not least of which due to the language barrier.

He is, interestingly, far more moved by it than the drawing Wuxian does of *him* two episodes beforehand—is this merely the result of the progression of their relationship? This is post-cold springs after all.

That took some research to understand!

The main “vulnerable” character that he never seems to swoop in to save is Meng Yao and I wonder if it’s because he can sense something “off” about him. I felt bad for Meng Yao at first but he always put me on edge. Honestly, is there anyone who trusts Meng Yao as far as they can throw him? *looks at Elrond* OK, anyone except Elrond?(6)

Honestly, before I started watching this I saw that one of the characters was being referred to as Elrond and I wondered, going into it, if I’d know which character it was, and then Lan Xichen walked in and I was like “oh, yeah, obviously!” Seriously, what is it about him? Is it his physical appearance? The way he holds himself? His outfit? His pattern of speaking? How is this person so obviously coded “Elrond?”

Except they don’t really. That’s never how it works.

And interestingly, when looking at his name: “Wei Ying, Ying is his 名, meaning, baby; Wuxian is his 字, it comes from an ancient prose “喜乐无羡赏,忿怒无羡刑”, which means when you’re delighted don’t reward without restraint, when you’re angry don’t punish without restraint. Wuxian here means exercise your power reasonably.”(9)

The richness of the world in this show really appeals to me as does the carefully choreographed costume design, productions design, and cinematography (seriously, everyone needs to dress like this all the time; end of story; I have spoken). There have been some amazing shots that I can only assume are drone footage that have been ADRed?

20 years in and adulthood still sucks. 0 of 5 stars. Would not recommend.

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mzds #tolkien #yes tolkien gets a namedrop too #he's like the linchpin of my brain

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tidustargaryen · 4 years

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The Last of Us Part II - A unique experience you can never get rid of (My interpretation of the story - Full of spoilers!!!)

I made some screens of the game, but I messed up while forgetting to remove the black frame of options from photo mode. I was so proud of the screens! ^^ Sorry. 🙇

Wow...Wow...Wow... 🤩🤩

I couldn't not talk about this game, and what it felt like to play it.I went through all the emotions, I smiled, I cried, I screamed, I laughed, I was scared, I was anxious, I sang, I felt anger, even hatred, but also compassion, pity, empathy and the desire to forgive and forget. They broke my heart, and then filled it with rainbows. It was really the roller coaster of emotions. That's what I wanted when I bought this game. I wanted to feel things, a whole lot of things. I wanted to smile, I wanted to laugh, but I also wanted to cry. Because crying is not necessarily negative. It's a human emotion that also does good things.

I love Red Dead Redemption 2, I played it a lot, but I didn’t have the need to put words on my feelings. And especially not to give it such praise, that is to say how much The Last of Us Part II affected me. I also find it hard to describe my thoughts, my feelings in another language, and the review took me time and effort. There will surely be plenty of mistakes, but I love this game too much not to grant it the honor it deserves.

The job is successful, it's more than successful, this game has affected me deeply, in a positive way. When I put the controller down at the end of the game, wow... Just wow... That's all i could think of. And I must confess, I don't understand the negative feedback. I understand of course, that you can dislike a scenario, I myself dislike some movies, we like, we dislike, for different reasons, it's our most legitimate right. But hatred for a game? Putting a zero grade on it? It's not objective. The gameplay is excellent, much better than the first one, the immersion is incredible, the visual and sound atmosphere... damn! The motion capture is unmatched. More weapons, more actions, more everything.The graphics, the dialogues, the music! Even if the scenario is not good for you, you have to admit that the rest is almost perfect... So it's impossible to put 0 to this game. It may not please you, it's legitimate, but when I don't like something, I leave it, I don't spend days talking about it, in a bad way. I would also add that reading the leaks is one thing, playing the game, living the story with the controller in hand is something else. Maybe you're missing out on something huge, it's your choice.

If I say that, it's above all because I would really like a third opus, I want other stories with Ellie. I liked her in the first one, but I got so attached to her in the second part. And I like the world of the Last of Us, I got attached to the Ellie/Dina relationship as well, and I'll come back to that in the development I'm going to do on the characters right after.

All that to say, for anyone who didn't like The Last of Us Part II, your life is not going to change whether or not there's a part III, but I, and other players, would really like a sequel. But I'm not sure there's going to be one after this outpouring of hatred. So good for you, so bad for us, I guess. But I'm not selfish.

I've also seen some very positive comments, a lot of “masterpieces” and objective opinions, full of very good reviews from players who have had the same experience as me. I've played a lot of games that I liked, very few of them made an impression on me like The Last of Us Part II, none of them made an impression on me like The Last of Us Part II in fact, thank you Naughty Dog. Really, thank you, because, and this is my personal opinion, this sequel is much better than the first opus. Yes, that's what I think, and I had heard and seen a lot of press reviews that said it was better, I couldn't believe it. And yet, since I finished the game, I can't stop thinking about it, I can't stop rewriting the story, imagining a sequel, and that's what I wanted this game to do, to touch me emotionally, quite simply. This game haunts me since I press “start”. Well done, I admit.

Spoilers, ahead.

They didn't lie on this, I knew what game I was buying. A violent game, which deals with difficult subject, revenge, hate, the worst human emotions. It's hard for the players to understand the choices they made in the script, but it's also because it's hard to imagine living in a world like The Last of Us. Anyone can die at any time. And the survival instinct brings out the worst in humans. In their world, we too would become violent, hateful, we would do anything to survive. We will do the same things as Abby, Ellie, Joel and everyone else. Yes, it would be so much simpler, and more productive, to cooperate, to be united, this is the solution, the only one. Unfortunately, humans do the contrary, because the fear of the other, of the unknown, makes one strike before being struck. Already, in our current world, people find it very difficult to show solidarity, there is solidarity, but how many there are out of billions ?? They said it would take an open mind to enjoy the game, and understand the choices of characters. And they were right.

The game could have dealt with the story of a father and his adopted daughter, wanting to survive in a cruel world full of infected people who want to devour you, but who are not the worst enemies. It would have shown these characters succeeding and living a happy life in the town of Jackson... and it could have been believable, why not, with a big stroke of luck... Because honestly, in a world like this, where anybody can die at any time, realism is very important. The worst thing that could have happened to this game is not hate, it's indifference, and the game does not leave indifferent, far from it. People still haven't understood that to show disappointment in a game, a movie, a series, or whatever, hatred is not the solution, but indifference. Hatred proves that you are interested enough in the subject to talk about it a lot. This is indifference, the opposite of love.

Because, yes, in this world, you can die very cruelly, horribly, just like Joel... It's hard, it hurts, but it's realistic. When I first played the first opus, at the end I said to myself "If there's a sequel to this game, Joel will pay harshly for the consequences of his decision..." Because Joel's choice was selfish, it was very human, but it was very selfish. I love Ellie so much that I'm thrilled, but he saved a little girl that he cared so much about, a love that he didn't think he'd feel since he lost his little girl. But tell me, how many other little girls has he sacrificed in the process? How many people has he forced to live in such a terrible world? This vaccine could have saved them all. It’s unthinkable to me that the surviving Fireflies wouldn't want revenge. And it's even more natural to want revenge on the murderer of your father.

Yeah, I wish Joel would've survived, or not died so cruelly, especially not in front of Ellie. But Joel is paying the consequences for his choice. It's hard to put yourself in that position, but I don't think I would have made the same choice Joel did. And maybe, when you think about it, was it better for Ellie to die saving the world, rather than go through all that she had to go through next ?

The Last of Us part II, it's clearly not a game where everything is white or black, the development studio took a big risk, making us play inside the head of the person we're supposed to hate, the one who took Ellie's dearest love. Most games make us play nice people, who fight against the bad guys, but here, the bad guys aren't always bad, they can do good deeds, and bad ones, just like Ellie. These shades of grey in each character are very interesting to study, the story becomes more complex, more captivating. Joel wasn't a "good guy" either, he did a lot of bad things before he crossed Ellie's path, he ambushed people to kill them and steal from them... That doesn't stop us from loving him, it's also true for Abby and her companions.

That's what I love about this game, the nuances. The questioning of the character choices, and the morality that's built into it. And for me, this game is clearly an essay about what makes us feel and what drives us to hatred and revenge, and what we get out of it... Nothing, as we can see with my poor girl Ellie. She brutally loses Joel and in her quest for revenge, loses everything else.

There's clearly no way in hell she's going back to Jackson, she's leaving, for good, and alone.Besides, we saw her head toward the door at the back, not the one on the side, which leads to Jackson. And when she walks with JJ, towards this door, she tells him that only bad things are behind this door. No, unfortunately, Ellie does not return to Jackson, and that is understandable. This quest for revenge has affected her deeply. For me, it's like a stain on her soul. Is it legitimate for her to want revenge? I think it is. Should she give in to hatred and revenge? Of course, in this story, for Ellie, the answer is no. "I'm gonna find, and I'm gonna kill every last one of them," I think she could've added, "No matter what it costs me." Her future happiness. Neil Druckmann brought up a possible part III, and perhaps this part could imply a redemption from Ellie. She tells JJ that behind this door there are only bad things, maybe in the end, she goes to these bad things, to try to destroy as much as possible. And to finally be able to do what Joel stealed from her, and finally answer this question of why she is immunizing, why her ? To save people.

Ellie can't move on. She has a lot of nightmares, she's been through a trauma and can't get over it. Despite the peaceful life she has with Dina and JJ, she is not happy, at least not entirely. Part of her has stayed in that house near Jackson, on the ground where Joel died cruelly. And that part she'll never get back, and she doesn't know it, but even killing Abby wouldn't change anything. Ellie lost too many people, and Joel was the one person she couldn't lose. But even if she doesn't give in to the last siren of vengeance, the damage is already done. After Nora, whom she tortures for information, Owen's death and his pregnant girlfriend, it's too late. Not to mention all the other people she had to kill to get there. It's not without consequences,the guilt is too big,for what she did to those people and also for Joel,who she feels she has to avenge,rightly or wrongly,out of love,out of loyalty, or both.

And it's very clear when she kills Owen and then Mel. Of course, she's just defending herself, she didn't want to kill them, she just wanted to know where Abby was. And most of all, she didn't know Mel was pregnant, and in that moment, she knows she's gone too far, that her revenge cost her too much. But it's really when she sees Jesse die, when she thinks Tommy's dead, too, and she almost lost Dina, that she gives up on revenge, for now. She chooses a quiet life with Dina, but Tommy won't give it up, and Ellie is still very affected by Joel's death.

She must avenge Joel, even if it means losing everything, she will find Abby. She'll finally give up on killing her, and I completely agree with that choice. All this was for nothing? Well, yes, because Ellie realized too late that revenge would never heal Joel's death, would never make up for her great loss, and that Abby's death wouldn't bring Joel back. The problem is, she realizes that too late, she already lost everything else, including herself.

As far as I'm concerned, she knows the farm will be empty, she just needs to go back, as if the last bit of happiness she has left is in this house. And maybe, with a spark of hope, that the person she loves the most after Joel, hasn't abandoned her. I think she also thinks that Dina and JJ deserve better than her, someone who got lost on the path to revenge, a ghost of the Ellie that Dina fell in love with.

Yeah, it's not a happy story, but that was never the point. I think it's hard to imagine the world they live in compared to ours. This is not a world where happiness exists, and if it does exist, it is hard to find, let alone keep.

The game did something very daring, making us play Joel's killer. It's ballsy, isn't it! And yes, bad guys have a life, a story, and a reason to do what they do. They're just as human. I hated Abby, that's a strong word, but I wish Ellie had killed her right then and there, and then I was forced into her head. Abby lost her father, and so did Ellie. Joel killed Abby's father, and she killed Ellie's father. An eye for an eye? A lot of people hate Abby, so I'm going to put it another way. Would you have let your father's killer live? Abby couldn't. It's very legitimate, I wish she'd killed him quickly, his death was cruel. But as much as Joel's choice... All the loss, all the hardship, all of it could have been stopped with the vaccine. All because of Joel. Maybe you wish she would've kissed him and thanked him?

And yet, she spares Ellie and Tommy and Dina, something she's gonna regret, by the way. Because, later, Tommy kills Manny, her best friend. And Ellie kills Owen, the man she loves. And once again, in spite of that, she spares Ellie again. This time, her mercy will save her life, when Ellie delivers her from this new group of slavers she meets. (Ellie the breaker of chains xD) Abby doesn't want to fight anymore, doesn't want revenge. She gives up punishing Owen and Mel's murderer, and their babies, and also the others. (If Abby knows about Nora, etc.)

She knows what it cost her to take revenge, it didn't bring her father back, it didn't ease her grief, and that caused the death of her closest friends, when Ellie, in turn, wanted get revenge. The price is too high. I had no particular affinity with Abby, but I understand her character. In her quest for revenge, Abby only kills the man responsible for her father's death, when Ellie wanted to kill them all, and kills many. Abby also has her bad choices, she condones Isaac's torture methods which are just horrible, but her revenge has not controlled her like she did to control Ellie. Punishing the one responsible was enough, but not for Ellie.Yes, at the beginning, I wanted Abby to die, and kudos to the developers, because at the time when Ellie had her hands around her neck, I had only one thought, let her live, please… Well done to make us pass from a desire for revenge to an act of pity.Yes, Ellie made the wrong choice, but could she make another one? In a world like that, I don't know, it's very difficult to imagine the impact of such a harsh universe on our psychology. But it shows that revenge brings nothing, it takes everything. And hatred also does nothing good, especially if it is your main driver.

This is a great lesson that the developers are giving us, it pushes us to question certain morality, and that was their goal. Our world is also filled with hatred, and some people give in to it so easily. I don’t understand how you can feel all this hatred for people who just created a video game ... Isn’t there a bigger fight in the world? Racism, homophobia, slavery (yes, yes it still exists), pedophilia, rapists, misogynists, the people who govern us, the powerful who buy everything with money, animal and family mistreatment … Why waste time on developers whose only fault is wanting to create a game to entertain people? Were they not successful for you? Go on to something else. And I'm not even talking about everyone who hates the game without ever even playing it. It's just a game. There are more serious things that deserve your anger, don't you think?

This is my opinion and I give it with all the objectivity I can. If the game was bad, I would not have wasted time writing all of this in another language, I would have moved on but that is not the case. Yes this game is huge! And even more because it highlights things that some people want to hide. Personally, I loved that the two characters we play are female! Especially on such dark themes !! It's always for men... two women, who want revenge, who gives in to the darkest and most human emotions. Not men, finally. Thank you Naughty Dog. A gay heroine! I love, and I don't understand all the controversy around LGBTQ propaganda ... So, according to this reasoning, do other games make heterosexual propaganda ?? And gay people have to go through this ?! It's a shame !

No, I'm not gay, I have no personal interest in defending it, just the freedom of everyone to be able to live. It is out of the question that people live unhappy all their life, just so as not to shock people who are too closed to understand that the sexual life of others does not concern them ... More games like that please, and with men too… because homosexuality in the media is often represented by women.

I also didn't understand that we can take offense for the visit to a synagogue ... Should we blame Assassin's Creed for all the cathedrals in which we did stunts and break a lot of things ??

Again, everyone has the right to like or not like the game, but I don’t think you should be so disrespectful of all those people who worked hard on this game. Especially when it’s unwarranted. And I know something about it, I watched GoT season 8, I know what it's like to betray the soul of a story Clearly, this is not the case, here. I’ve seen some very constructive reviews explaining how amazing this game is, but it couldn’t please everyone, and I’m sorry for all those who didn’t like it (those who played well sure, the others are not legitimate for me) but don’t prevent us from enjoying this game, especially if we can have a sequel.

I needed to put all my thoughts on my keyboard, and on my blog, because as I said at the very beginning, this game affected me deeply and it is, for me, the best game I ever played. (sorry RDR 2, sorry Arthur, but Ellie gave you a nice slap there 😋 ) I highly recommend it! However, I know that it cannot please everyone, like all works of art, it’s subjective.

I would like to end with my favorite scenes, no matter they made me smile or cry, because there are really magic and unforgettable moments. Not necessarily rank in order of preference.

- The guitar scene with Dina. The cover of "Take on me" which is just beautiful, I still listen to it often, and it's a moment of peace (like the giraffes in the first one) in this terrible world.

- The scene where Joel takes Ellie to the science museum. Same, wonderful moment in this world of brute. And a wonderful gift from Joel to his daughter. I'm still crying. And that is to bring it perfectly, they could have put this scene to us before his death, it would not have had the same impact. After Joel's death, it hits where it should.

- Of course, the scene where Ellie and Joel talks about his choice to save her. This moment, or Ellie tells him that she can't forgive him yet, that she may never be able to, but that she wants to try, I think that is also one of the reasons why Ellie doesn't want to give up on revenge. Joel died when she still resented him, and they were both on cold terms. She can't forgive herself.

- The scene where Dina offers her her bracelet, I love this bracelet.

- All the null jokes of Ellie !!!! xD

- I cry when Ellie thinks that Dina could leave her for Jesse. And then after, when she comforted her.

- The scene at the farm, when Ellie is walking with JJ, I loved it, she seems happy, but shortly after, we realize that this is not the case, or rather, that something is missing, or someone… The scene of the return to the farm, for me has made it harder, already because it's the end, because Dina is no longer there, even if it was easy to imagine. And the scene where it seems to me that she plays the song that Joel sang to her. She lost him, And then she lost herself. The song he sang to her at the beginning sums it all up. This is the saddest scene for me. In the first game, Ellie told Joel that all the people she has ever loved are dead or have abandoned her. She finds herself alone, and it's partly her fault.

Various :

I hate having to hit Ellie while playing Abby, especially with her arms so big, she must hurt very much!! I'm not a fan of tattoos but Ellie's is just beautiful! I would like to visit a little more Santa Barbara, it changes from Seattle ^^But Seattle is really beautiful. The lifespan of the game is enormous and the difficulty much bigger than the first one. In normal mode I sometimes suffered a lot ^^ Naughty Dog has dared to model the penises of the infected !!! (Yes, I took photos, no I would not show them xD)

The first game had given us a tragic death from the start, Sarah. She is the first playable character for a very short time, and we are just walking with her. And witness helplessly at her death. The second game does the same, but it’s her father who dies this time just after we play a little with him, just for a horse riding with Tommy. Poetic ?

Yes, the game has faults, some bugs, some passages are long, but given the quality it offers us, personally, I forget these faults, nothing is perfect, nothing needs to be.

And the only criticism I have of this game is that I wanted to play with Ellie a bit more (it's relative, the game still has a long life, but I'm greedy, I wanted more of Ellie). I really want to play with her again and I hope that where she goes, she will be fine. I liked her in the first opus, I love her now. She enters the top of my favorite fictional characters, with Daenerys Targaryen, Ellie in second place, and Arthur Morgan (sorry for your second place big boy 😋 ) And I now understand the Youtubers who said that they envied us for still having to discover the game and the scenario. Now, I wish I could forget it and find out again. What is certain is that I will not be able to say goodbye to Ellie, impossible. She deserves a very, very big hug after everything they've done to her.

I haven't read the leaks, I haven't been spoiled at all, and I hate that. I trusted a Youtuber when the fans started to hate the game, without ever playing it, and I was right. For those who compare The Last of Us with GoT: I read the leaks of GoT, I was happy to have done it given the parody they did of the show, I would have really regretted having read the The Last of Us part II leaks. Reading and living the game are two different things.

I probably forgot some things, I will do a second part, I may add things later.

This game is simply and deeply human. In these most beautiful qualities, and especially in these worst flaws.

Best game ever. My opinion.

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okimargarvez · 4 years

Text

FIRST DATE

Original title: First date.

Prompt: Luke asks Pen a date in a particular way.

Warning: none.

Genre: romantic, fluff.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Phil Brooks, Roxy.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 70 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 🐶.

Song mentioned: Persone silenziose, Luca Carboni feat Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: this is not about episode 15x10. I written it weeks before seeing that moment. It was just a dream (one of the little about garvez) I made.

FIRST DATE

There are some silent people, there are timid presences hidden among people... but silence makes noise, the eyes have an amplifier... those eyes that have always been used to listening...

Hearing his cell phone vibrate, for a moment Luke fears that they have a new case. He looks at the display and smiles. -Alvez.- he gasps, trying to catch his breath. Roxy runs around him, agitated by the unexpected break.

The friend on the other end of the line chuckles. -Hey, brother, how are you?- he caresses the dog, calming him down. -Am I bother you?- he sighs.

-Never! I was running with Rox!- she barks, greeting Phil in her own way.

-You really have to find a girl, Luke.- he lovingly scolds him. Latin smiles inside himself. I'm just working on it. -About this... Did I mention my physiotherapist, Lisa? She's very pretty. I was wondering... would you like to have a double date? She, Penelope, you and I.- Luke's brain freezes on hearing that name. The heart starts pumping blood again at a speed not recommended. -What do you say? Hey, man, are you still there?- he blinks several times to recover.

-Yes, yes, I’m, but... What does your proposal mean? Do you know? Is it so obvious?- he blushes, but at the same time he is unable to get that grimace of absolute joy out of his face that appears every time he accidentally thinks of her.

-I understand what? Oh, wait. I hoped I saw wrong... You like her, don't you?- Luke runs his tongue over his lips, sighs in a teenage way.

-Yeah, huh, in fact... I asked her out. Or...- he scratches his head, nervous. -Technically I wrote her a letter. So, I don't know if you can consider it…- he recognizes Phil's exclamation.

-A letter? You mean paper letter? Only you can do such an old-fashioned thing!- he struggles to stop laughing. -Let me know how it goes, heartbreaker!- he is about to hang up, but he understands that he still has a joke in store. -If it goes bad, remember that there is someone else interested, not too far away...- Luke shakes his head. He doesn’t have time to put the phone in the pocket, that it starts ringing again.

He answers without looking. -Any other ridiculous joke, Brooks?- but he soon realizes it's not Phil.

-Alvez, we have a case and it's pretty bad. How long does it take you to get here?-

People who can't speak, who put their thoughts in order, people full of fear that someone might know their little and big... contradictory thoughts!

Although not many are convinced of this, Penelope is capable of being a professional person. That's why she notices the envelope just beyond her office door. But she decides not to consider it until the case is resolved. And so, she does.

Leaning against the backrest, she yawns. Her eyes fall on that envelope, still sealed, intact. She looks more carefully at the only writing. Her name. Penelope. She recognizes the handwriting before opening it. She closes her eyes, thinking that when she opens them again, she will understand that it was a hallucination.

Instead it is always there. She starts reading.

Penelope,

I can't imagine what you're thinking right now. In fact, she has no idea what she should expect from the continuation. For this reason, she decides to go ahead. Maybe I should have started by calling you Garcia, like the rest of the team. But you are not only Garcia, for me, and especially when I think of you outside of work.

Here, now her head is definitely confused. She has to read the sentence a second time. It's the same. It is always there. She's not just Garcia for him. What else, then? I hope you are still reading it. I wrote you this letter instead of an email or a message, because I had too many things to say and I hope that a little of what I feel has been transmitted to the sheet and that you can believe me. He managed to snatch a laugh from her and he is not even physically here. She finds herself stroking those sentences with her fingers. He is really so sweet... And suited to his style. A cold email could never give her heart pounding. I'd like to go out to dinner one evening with you. She jumps, risking falling off the chair. Luke's next sentence scares her even more. He seems to read her mind. Yes, I don't mean as colleagues or friends at O'Keefe. I mean a real full-blown appointment. Considering how they have always been going around the issue, without ever taking an effective step that leaves no room for doubt... well, yes, it is quite strange. Romantic. Intimate. Just the two of us. He continues to puzzled her, every word he adds.

In case you haven't died from a giggle attack now, I'd like to try to show you that it's all true. For once he hasn't guessed her reaction at all, quite the opposite. Laugh? She is not thinking about it at all. No, rather, should this irregularity in her heart beat worry her? Is she by chance having a heart attack? Should she call someone? I have been imagining that moment for far too long (more than I would admit). Oh shit, if he goes on this log, she'll really have to call an ambulance. I see you as if you were now in front of me. I see your extraordinary beauty in every nuance. Holy crap, holy crap. Her extraordinary beauty? Was he by chance drugged when he started writing this letter? Does he really think this of her? So, this is the reason why he stares at her for so long even in the least indicated moments. And I see myself, awkwardly, with my heart rumbling in my ears and sweaty hands, forcing me to ring the bell. And listening with tension to every noise coming from beyond the door. And your steps. He is a cursed poet, a director, an artist, because he has managed to show what he has described as almost real, a film, an anticipation... a spoiler aimed at the future. And then I imagine your smile a little uncertain, as if you had feared that in the end it would turn out to be a joke. Damn profilers; how can you play with them equally? I would make a compliment, you would thank me by touching my arm, I would reach to heaven. In Heaven just for a light touch on the arm? She doesn’t dare, really, Penelope doesn’t dare to imagine what effect it would then have if she accidentally came into contact with a slightly more pushed area... like the chest. I don't want to irk you; I'll spare you the rest of the evening. Irk you; here's the mystery solved, it's a Reid joke! But she doesn't believe it, never for a second. I will just tell you that I am sure I would have a fantastic time. Just because it would be with you. Damn bastard, what creature, no matter the gender, could decline an offer presented in this way? Without feeling like an idiot.

Because you are this. When I am close to you, it is as if the words no longer want to collaborate with me and form sentences of complete meaning... She knows the feeling perfectly, bro. But at the same time, I'm fine, you make me feel good, otherwise I wouldn't want to spend so much time with you. Well, it has its own logic. When love is logical? And why she thought that damn word?

I don't want to tell you what I feel for you loud and clear. I'd rather do it face to face; however cowardly I may be. And you're smart enough (actually a genius) to read between the lines. Smart enough, he says. And she knows it's true, but she doesn't dare to make assumptions. Lie, she already did. She did so whenever their eyes chained themselves for more than four seconds. But does anyone know this rule? Luke definitely doesn’t. Over four seconds means that the person who is looking at you wants to do something more with you, besides staring at you. No, not just a kiss. Of course.

I look forward to your reply, with trepidation and I hope I haven't ruined everything. For me, even just your friendship is important, but I could no longer live without knowing the truth, without getting involved. In her heart she wasn’t convinced that he would ever be able to take the first step.

Wherever and wherever you are, I wish you a wonderful day,

Luke

She emits so many sighs that she looks like a teapot about to explode, or a steam train. Has she really read those beautiful (wonderful, other than beautiful) words addressed to her by the Newbie (which for some time now can no longer be considered such)? No, she must have misunderstood, misinterpreted something. Instead it's all there, black on white: Luke Alvez wants to go out with her, a real date, romantic, intimate. He has swept away all doubts and loopholes. And now it's up to her, to answer him.

When was the last time she picked up one of her colorful and oddly shaped pens to do anything other than close a call with the team?

Okay, come on, it can't be that hard. He exposed his soul with her. The least she can do is try to return the favor.

Luke didn’t expect an answer so soon, on the contrary, it would be more legitimate that he had not imagined to get a real reaction from his blonde colleague, only... he needed to get rid of that weight. He still felt good. He regretted to not meeting her before returning home after the case was over. It was strange, but it had already happened that she wasn't there waiting for them.

He would lie if he denied he has thinking about it until his brain went out. Or that it wasn’t his first thought when he woke up, while shaving with a little more attention than usual.

Yet he can't help but feel some fibrillation down the path to his desk. And when he sees that envelope on the smooth surface, he reacts more or less like Garcia. At first, he believes it is a projection of his mind. He must touch it to accept that it is a concrete object belonging to this dimension. Penelope imitated him in a sublime way. His name, only four letters, seems almost a drawing, traced by her fantastic hands. He tries very hard to hold back the cry of joy that has gone up to his throat. It may also contain a negative response; but he doesn’t even consider this possibility. Usually he is not a positive person, but this time... He looks around. There is practically nobody, here there are the positive sides of get there early. So how long has that envelope been there? Did she leave it here the night before? Or is Penelope already hidden in her office?

A lot of unnecessary questions. He opens it and instantly his nostrils are struck by a heavenly perfume. Gingerly, he brings it close to his nose. Yes, it is hers. Oh jeez, will he come out alive in the end? He takes a quick look. The first thing he notices is that it's much shorter than his. But didn't someone say that the synthesis is the maximum understanding of the text? Maybe he's confusing the areas.

He starts reading, calmly.

Luke,

but he bursts already after the first word, which is none other than his name again. He must close his eyes and press his fingers on his temple, to achieve a mental balance stable enough to be able to continue. wow, a letter, what... Anachronistic thing. And somehow, I must admit, fascinating. Never as much as she is, but the bottom line is that... she liked it! A good start. It is useless to dance around it: you completely puzzled me. I confess that I find it hard to believe that you want to go out with me as... As an interested man. Why does it have to be so complicated to accept? She thinks she is not live up to him? What nonsense! If anything, the exact opposite! She could have any one man, doesn't she know? But he hopes she wants only him. He wants to be the lucky chosen one, more than anything else in the world. But I decided to get involved, as you did. It seems to me a story a bit too elaborate to be a joke. Yeah, elaborate… why does he fall even deeper for her every word? And I suspected that there was a romantic under the beard and the hunter's skin. Caught, Alvez. Never been so happy to be discovered by a girl, since elementary school, when he played hide and seek. Are you glad I used your same method? And also one of my favorite pens; enjoy the perfume, and consider it an appetizer for that day... He doesn't resist, he tastes the aroma a second time, letting his lungs fill themselves with it, closing his eyes like a moron, hearing Garcia's voice in his head that repeats the last sentence. An appetizer. It is so erotic that... he is happy to sitting with the lower half of the body under the desk. And by the way: you didn't indicate a date. Oh shit, she's right! How could he have been so stupid? He blushes, cursing himself. Out of the corner of his eye he sees that Matt and Tara are entering. He must hurry to finish the reading.

I wish you and Roxy a good evening, and I apologize you for forgetting Sergio 😉 And, here is a second unforgivable omission. But no, she said the exact opposite. She's giving him a chance. For real.

Your fantastic Penny

Penny. He savors that name on his lips, slowly. Fantastic, she certainly is. He puts the letter in a drawer at random, he doesn't need to see it again, he has already learned it by heart, even if he doesn't have Reid's skills.

Luke proves even bolder than she thought. Taking advantage of the fact that no new cases have arrived, he manages to find a way to send the letter to her the same day. Now that he has received a first green light it is really difficult to refrain.

She could access the video of the camera placed outside her office to watch him put it under her door. But it would be a slightly maniac thing. So, she just picks it up from the floor and opens it with little grace. She reads all in one breath.

Penelope,

I thank you for your magnanimity. Yes, you cannot imagine what pleasure it is for me to can hold a handwritten script by your hands. Do you understand now how hopeless I am? She's starting to get an idea. They are on the same boat. Do you think that a joke would be worth this self-denunciation and humiliation? You're right, for the emotion (and stupidity) I forgot to indicate a date, or maybe I was afraid that you might be scared of it, as if I had already decided everything. Yes, it is a far from remote hypothesis. Unless we will get a case, what you think about tomorrow night? Tomorrow. Tomorrow night. Just over 24 hours from now. She strives to breathe normally. And forgive me if I haven't been able to rely on post delivery times,

your Luke

Hers! Hers! Will he ever really be hers? Her boyfriend. Luke Alvez her boyfriend. It looks like a joke. It seems too real. And it frightens her.

She spends most of the day wondering what is the best way to answer him. She discards another letter because someone would surely notice it as she leaves it on Agent Alvez's desk. A message is too little and an email... Too detached. She wastes time so long that it is the moment to go home.

She is waiting for the elevator, always swimming in indecision. And it is at that moment that fate sets in motion. Luke appears from around the corner. At first, he seems almost frightened to find her there. Then his face melts into a smile. -Hey..- he is unexpectedly shy.

-Hey.- she replies with the same intonation. They look at each other for a few minutes. Weirdly, no one, stranger or part of the team, arrives to interrupt that moment. -Okay.- says Penelope after a century. Luke's eyes widen. She approaches him slowly, and puts her hand on his shoulder. -Okay, Luke, tomorrow is fine.- she whispers, making him shiver. -But you still forgot to indicate a time.- she smiles, going away.

Luke blushes. -Oh, you're right... it’s good 8.00 p.m.? Then you should have enough time to... You know.- she nods.

-It's perfect.- the elevator arrives, he lets her go up first. They are silent throughout the journey. Just before arriving, she approaches him again and places a kiss on his cheek. -Good night, Luke. See you tomorrow.-

The next evening

And suddenly you run away... without saying goodbye. Your eyes go down the stairs... I don't know what they are going to do, if to be moved or to dream... to get angry or to meditate...

Luke manages to hold back anxiety for the first twenty minutes. After another ten he goes into paranoia. Half an hour late seems to him a socially acceptable time to lose his head and call her. The phone rings empty. He waits a few more minutes and tries again. Ring endlessly, until the voice mail goes. Damn, why the hell isn't she picking up? It is on the third call that he completely loses his mind. He presses the repeat button practically without even realizing it. He takes strangely little time to reach thirty; thirty calls.

He doesn't even think for a moment if he should call the police. If something bad happened to her, what could a policeman do more than a federal agent (not on duty)? He drives like a madman to her house; he only went once but he has already memorized the route. Like whatever concerns her. He forces himself to park in a decent way and also to close the car; if someone would steal it, he would certainly be not be very clever, in case he had to take her somewhere, like a hospital... He climbs the stairs three steps at a time. He is already ready to knock down the door, he is mentally preparing himself for the act, when it opens wide and behind it there is her, perfectly healthy, intact, except that she seems very shaken.

He can finally start breathing again. Oxygen enters his lungs violently. -Penelope.- he coughs, as an inevitable consequence.

She just stares at him with terrified eyes. -You gave me... you gave a heart attack!- she puts one of her hands on her chest. Luke notices that she is wearing an open dressing gown that reveals a pajama. Did she prepare for their date or did she never give him a real chance? Did he just delude himself? He intends to get all the answers right now.

After the relief a little anger takes over, transmitted through a pungent irony. -Why, you thought you got rid of me forever?- but he doesn't last long, because she seems really too lost and fragile to be really angry. He already knows the reason for her behavior. He just needs to hear her say it.

-What?- Penelope asks, even more confused. Luke shakes his head.

-Forget it.- but he has a spasmodic need to touch her, any part of the body will be fine. -Why did you ditch me?- he caresses her arm, that thin layer of skin exposed to the outside world, and, surprisingly, she doesn't jump, she doesn't chase him away. -I waited until eleven o'clock.- is a reproach, but he has said it in the lowest and sweetest tone that is available in his vocal range. Penelope looks at him in passing. She doesn’t let her eyes fall into male ones. They are too magnetic. And she is in pajamas. And that's enough to embarrass her. Why does he persist in staying on her doorstep? She sighs, recalling the spirit of the Garcia of the past. The queen of ice. Anything just to get rid of him.

-You and the team wanted to play a trick on me and I ruined your party... I can't say I'm really sorry.- she is an excellent actress, even though she has never been able to exploit these qualities in real, private life... only on a stage. Luke seems to have taken really bad. As if... nope. It doesn't really care. -It's life, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose...- and instead, she seems to be rotten wrong. The man grabs her wrist that a second ago he was gently stroking and drags her dangerously towards him. Now she just can't avoid eye contact. And maybe it's better to not focus on his beautiful mouth.

That is now ranting at her. -What are you talking about?- the tone seems desperate, pained. -I will have called you thirty times and surely your voice mail will be clogged.- in fact it was really so. She didn't believe he would be able to go that far and listen to him beg her to tell him if she was okay, that the rest didn't matter, that he just needed to know that everything was ok... of course he shook her. But not enough to give her the strength to answer and reassure him. Why the hell was she so stupid?

Luke doesn't seem to think this of her, but the blonde continues straight on the road that will lead her to crash and collect the pieces of her heart. -I thought you would get there alone.- the voice, however, is already trembling, and she is wavering and seeking support in the door, rather than in him.

She reads sincerity in his face, yet she is unable to do anything other than boycott her own happiness. -Penelope, let's face it: did you think it was just a joke?- she doesn't nod, nor does she deny. Her eyes speak, confess. -Really? After everything we've written to each other?- a vein in his neck throbs, his face is red and his eyes are shiny. It's the first time she's seen him so furious. And to know that she is the reason... no, it is not at all good.

Even if she tells him exactly the opposite. -You're not cute when you're angry.- she shoots before she can stop it. This is not a thought that first formed in her mind and then was came out from the mouth. No, it born of nowhere.

Luke frowns. He is so puzzled that he lets her go. -What?- and she can no longer deny. She would like to have his arms around her back and his lips on hers. By this time, she could have already gotten it, if she wasn't an idiot and a coward. Never again, she promises. Never repeat the same mistake again.

-I won't take it back.- from now on she will be 100% sincere, even if it means having to suffer. She was never able to protect herself from the feelings that people cause her before Luke Alvez appeared on her radar. Why was everything different with him right away? She already knows the answer to this question too. She looks him straight in the eye. She could so easily fall in love with him... and it probably has already happened. -I said you're not cute when you're angry.- she tries to use a firm, stable tone of voice, even if a samba contest is taking place inside her.

Luke's face darkens. -But I'm not mad at you. I'm... just sad.- he has found a way to make her feel guilty, and almost certainly he is not aware of it. Both his attitude and tone are killing her. -It was so difficult to find the courage to ask you out and...- she interrupts him, practically caught by an electrocution. For a moment she sees him kneeling at his feet. No less insecure than now, despite they having been together for years. Willing to stay with her, even if she were to say no. And she can no longer really continue to doubt.

-Oh God. You really wanted to go out with me.- she starts shaking her head and at the same time her legs melt. Luke promptly holds her up, making her rest on his chest. He sticks his fingers in her blonde strands. Just to get this, the evening cannot be considered a fiasco, for him.

-I still want it.- he whispers. Then he sees her closing her eyes and trying to reach his lips. He barely rejects her, practicing violence against himself. -No, no kisses- Penelope teases him with a lost puppy look, abandoned in a cardboard while it's about to rain -don't look at me like that, don't tempt me, it wouldn't be fair.- he feels a jerk, but he has already waited so long that twenty-four more hours won't make much difference. Quite right? He could convince himself. -I want to do things right, with you.- because she deserves it, that's what he doesn't add. Because he doesn't want too much frenzy to extinguish their flame, even if he doesn't really believe it's possible.

She tickles him on the chest through the layers of cloth. -But between us has there ever been anything normal and ordinary?- she replies promptly. And she's right. Fucking right. Her scent, the same of the letter, clouds his brain. But he holds on.

-But I'd still like to try.- Penelope nods, giving up and contenting herself with embracing him and trying to merge with the male body. -Then, will you blow me off a second time?- it had to be a joke, but she catches the few shades of seriousness in it.

She sighs, touching his neck and catching his eyes. -I can't promise you that I will. I wish I could, but my... fears, sometimes... win and...- Luke nods too, because this is a fight he has often faced, since he met a certain Penelope Garcia, BAU’ computer technician.

He takes her face in his hands. -I hope you just know that on the other side there is a man waiting anxiously and with heavy heart.- the phrase seems too retro and artificial to remain serious. Straight output directly from a nineteenth-century comedy. -Look, I made you laugh, it's already something.- he rests his lips on her forehead. -It's all real, Penelope, you don't have to be afraid you can suffer. Do you believe me?- he feels her nod.

But she understands alone that he also needs to hear it from her voice. -Yes.- even if it's a murmur, just whispered.

Luke smiles. -Well.- he's going to do something again that is against what he really wants. Kissing her, entering her apartment, closing the door with his foot, as they do in the movies and scandalizing Sergio. What would be wrong with that? -Now I go home, I have to force myself, otherwise I would stay here with you forever.- her eyes are exactly asking him why he shouldn’t. -I put almost all the cards on the table, I think I can't do more.- he comes off with difficulty, it's really a painful action.

For her too. -See you tomorrow, Luke.- she greets him only. But then the man turns, before turning to take the stairs, and then she adds a simple, very small sentence. That changes everything. -I'll miss you!-

---------------------------

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#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #tiziano ferro #luca carboni #persone silenziose

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mrsalwayswrite · 4 years

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The Difference Between Champagne and Rum Part 3 (Alfie Solomons x OFC)

Huge shout-out to @evelynshelby for being my beta because writing smut scares me (oops, spoiler) and helping with picking the images. You’re amazing, my dear!

Warnings: Swearing, racial slurs and sexual content (nothing too graphic, sorry)

Words: 9k

Here’s the other parts if you need to catch up: Part 1 / Part 2

Also, in canon, Alfie is about 26 during the start of WWI and so is in his thirties during Peaky Blinders. In this series, he is about 20 when WWI starts. Not sure if anyone would care or notice this, figured I would point it out. :)

The Difference Between Champagne and Rum

Part 3 - To Behold a Future Forgotten

-1914-

It was a good day. No one had managed to fuck it up yet. An extra wad of notes bounced along with each step in his pocket. He would have whistled a tune but the sound would summon the dogs in all of London and probably some coppers thinking an alarm was being raised. So he restrained himself to a faint humming as he walked down the street. He did not smile though. Alfie Solomons never smiled…at least in public. He rolled the wad of notes in his pocket, overly pleased. Another Jewish store had asked for protection from Alfie and his lads after getting their windows busted out by the wop lads. It was a shame really, for Alfie liked the grocery and his family. The old man always “snuck” a piece of candy to any children who came through his store door. Had been doing it for years and Alfie fondly remembered going, as a child, in hopes of getting a sweet treat. But another place willing to pay him to keep the wops away and a legitimate reason to get revenge on those Italian cocksuckers for busting up a place under his protection…it was enough to make him almost smile in public. Almost.

It also felt good being his own boss. No one telling him what to do or where to go. Shame really what happened to the last man he called ‘boss’. The man made some poor choices and not long after his body was retrieved from the river. Real fuckin’ shame. Alfie and his lads made sure to pick up the pieces left behind before someone else could rise up and try to take charge of Camden. No, this was Alfie’s neighborhood.

Since it was such a fine autumn day and Alfie was in a good mood, he decided to share the joy with the one woman who meant the world to him. That was how he found himself walking down this particular posh street in London. His mother claimed this was the best bakery in all of England. When his father was alive, he occasionally would surprise his mother with her favorite scone from there. The simple gesture would always bring an extra brilliant smile to his mother’s face, and probably a good romp in the sheets for his father. Since his father’s death, money had been too tight to spend on little splurges like that. Now, Alfie had some extra change in his pocket…and he enjoyed seeing his mother smile for something good he did instead of chastise him for the wrong. Plus maybe this would distract her from harping on him to find a nice Jewish girl and think about settling down. Something Alfie did not have time for. Nor could he help comparing every girl his mother paraded in front of him to a pair of gemstone eyes and mischievous smile. Alfie pushed that thought away. No use dwelling on that, it had been two years and he had a feeling the only time he would ever see her now would be in his dreams.

***

The bakery was large with a tea room attached, full of patrons dressed in nice day dresses and clean cut suits. The walls were a light wood with dark paneling and gold trim, a distinct coloring that made the place feel bright and welcoming. The large windows also added to the overall feeling of warmth. Counters practically lined the main bakery, covered in different pastries, delicacies, and confectionaries. The aroma of warm bread, sugar and black tea was enough to make Alfie’s mouth start to water. He had only come a few times before with his father when he was young but the place seemed just as grand as it did then.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a pair of women observing him warily from alongside the counter; like they were concerned he would steal their purses and take off running right there. He stood out from the other patrons in his white shirt, black trousers and black hat. Although he did not scream ‘poor’ like some in his neighborhood, his attire certainly stated he was not used to the finery the rest of the patrons lived in. With a quick curse muttered under his breath about toffs, he approached one of the many counters, eyeing the pastries to find what he came looking for. He could see one of the shop girls in uniform dawdling, pretending to fiddle with something instead of approaching him. Casually, he placed his elbow on the counter and leaned against it. He planned on making himself comfortable if they were going to make him wait. He had no plans on leaving yet. They did not know him, but he planned on teaching them how stubborn he could be.

A rambunctious round of laughter drew his gaze to the seated patrons on the other side of the bakery, in the tea room. A group of three older women sat together, cackling about something, most likely gossip, looking like they did not have a care in the world. Which they probably did not. Their rich husbands would not care what their wives did as long as dinner was ready with a cigar and whiskey after to end the day.

He rolled his eyes, tapping his fingers on the pristine glass display case impatiently. He was ready to leave but he refused to leave empty handed. The sounds of other exchanges and conversations swirled around him, business commencing. Yet he stood alone and ignored, like a solitary, forgotten island. His mind wandered to the new protection deal made today. To cover that grocery he would need at least another three good lads. He needed to talk to Ishmael and see if he knew anyone, and not some new lad just off his mum’s tit. Too many of those around already. He needed men to keep the wops at bay. Yeah, Ishmael should know of a few. If not, perhaps his zayde would. The old man seemed to know everyone in London. He only had a month left to get things sorted and prepared. Only a month…

“How can I help you, sir?”

Alfie blinked, realizing a middle-aged man stood on the other side of the counter staring at him expectantly. “Ah, yeah…them scones there…yeah, two of ‘em.”

“Of course. Will there be anything else today?”

“No, that s’it.” He watched the man carefully place the two scones indicated in a paper bag to go. “How much?”

The man placed the bag on the counter. “Your expenses have been covered.”

He blinked slowly. “What?”

“I said, your expenses have been…”

“Yeah, yeah, I fuckin’ got that. What I wanna know is how. I don’t need no charty or nothin’. I got me money ‘ere.” Alfie pulled out the wad of notes, ready to pay more than double just to teach these people not everyone wanted their hand-outs.

“I understand, sir. One of the patrons here told me to charge her for whatever you want. She was most adamant… said you were an old friend.”

“Who?”

“The young lady in the burgundy dress, blonde hair by the window. Please don’t start…”

Alfie ignored the shopkeeper as he turned around, eyes narrowing as he searched for this ‘old friend’. Looking towards the window, he saw her sitting at a table with five other women of varying ages but obvious wealth. His heart fluttered uncontrollably, his breathing momentarily ceased as their eyes met. With a smirk, she scooted her chair back and got up, moving through the labyrinth of tables and patrons towards him. She was still so beautiful. Her burgundy dress clung tightly to her chest and draped softly downward to swish with each movement, the hem just below her knees. The slight V-neck was accentuated with the ivory flounce and draped faux collar tie. An ivory banded drop waist finished off the simple yet polished day dress. As she sashed closer, a small smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, he could not help but admire how she filled out her feminine form. He would still label her as slender and graceful but there were more defined curves than the prior times they had met. Questions began to formulate the closer she approached. Namely where had she been these past two years. Damn propriety and social courtesy, she was not getting out of his sights until his questions were answered. Fucking hell though, it was downright sinful how gorgeous she looked.

“Good afternoon, is everything alright? You are not giving the lovely Mr. Miller here a hard time are you, Alfie?” She placed her hand on Alfie’s shoulder before looking at the shopkeeper behind the counter, who stood watching the two carefully. “You will have to excuse him, Mr. Miller. My friend can be rough around the edges, he is a good man though. One day he will rule London, you can place a bet on that.”

“Of course, Miss. If you will excuse me. Let me know if there is anything else you are in need of.” He dipped his head before slipping away to help another customer waiting at the counter further down.

“Hello, Alfie.”

“’ello, Miss Sarah.”

She rolled her eyes, smile still on her lips. “You do not get to call me that. To you, I am just Sarah. So what are you doing here?” She snatched up the paper bag and peeked inside. “Ooo…those are delicious. Special night for you and a lady friend?”

He snorted, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, these for me mum.”

Her eyes softened and she carefully put the bag back on the counter. “She will love them. How are you? I do not see any blood on your knuckles so that seems like a good start.”

“Yeah, yeah. No one insulted me yet. Still enough hours today, that could change. What you doin’ here?”

She sighed, brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “Believe me, I am not here by choice. Those ladies could even make a corpse cry with how boring and dull their conversation is. I was contemplating either stabbing myself or someone else to escape.”

“Tis a shame to go to that extreme, yeah? That s’ladies bathrooms are for, right? Go disappear for a while. Say you got sick or somethin’.”

“Did that last week. I need a new strategy.” She paused, toying with the small, gold pendant necklace she wore. “You look well, Alfie.”

A twinkle in his eye, he reached forward and took her hand. What did he have to lose at this point? He never thought he would see her again yet here she stood before him, looking like a vision in the flesh. With a wink, he laid a kiss on the back of her hand. “You s’beautiful as ever, Sarah…or should I call you Miss Byron?”

She raised a single eyebrow yet did not snatch her hand out of his grasp.

“Did some investigatin’ of me own, yeah. Torment to not know your name. Asked a few questions, knocked a few heads, even had to fuckin’ walk into a church…” he pretended to shudder violently making her smile, “…not easy lemme say but I’m a determined bastard when I want, right. Eventually I learn that you s’only daughter of Lord Byron, member of Parliament and chief importer of tea from fuck knows where all but loads places, yeah. Family business and all that. Fuckin’ rich don’t even describe him none.”

“So you learned my secret…and what do you think of this posh girl now?”

“Might make kidnappin’ you a bit harder coz your dad, right, could pay every copper and scum to find you…so I gotta plan that out well.” He paused at her chuckle, entwining their fingers. “You still me angel though. That won’t change none.”

“Alfie…I…” She bit her lower, plump lip as she quickly cast her gaze over to the women she had been sitting with. “I need to get back.” Hesitantly she released his hand. “Can I see you soon? I’ll be busy for a bit but after…can we meet?”

“Ah, s’problem there. I leave next month…for France…for the war.”

Her eyes widened and mouth dropped open slightly. It was a truth he tried not to think about too often himself. War. Some of his mates cheered and were excited to leave, to come back as men with glory and honor. Something churned in Alfie’s gut about the ordeal. He could not help but wonder how many of them would come back alive, himself included.

“Me brother signed up without sayin’ nothin’. Fuckin’ idiot. So I gotta go watch his back, make sure he s’alright, for me mum’s sake.”

“Oh, Alfie…” She moved forward, one of her hands cupped his cheek. He could not help but lean into her touch. They stared at one another, he could see thoughts racing in her eyes and it was not long before a decision was made. “Wait here.”

Turning abruptly, she walked purposefully over to her table and grabbed her clutch sitting on it. She murmured something which seemed to cause an uproar amongst the women she had been with. One of them even reached over to grab Sarah’s wrist but with a sharp remark and a twist, she forced the older woman to let her go. As she walked back towards him, he met the eyes of the women watching, their expressions ranging from horror to disapproval to disgust. Fuck them. Because he could, he tipped his cap at them, a smirk plastered on his face. One of the women drew the sign of the cross over her chest.

Sarah waved down one of the shop girls as she returned to Alfie’s side, quickly ordering some pastries in a sharp tone that had the girl obeying rapidly.

“This is a dishonor! Do not think we will forget this, Sarah Byron! Disgraceful child! Wait until your father hears about this!” One of the women loudly called over, steam practically pouring out of her ears.

Alfie turned his body to fully face the old hag, and partially block her view of Sarah. He did not know what was going on but that did not mean he would not defend her. Crossing his arms over his chest, he glared at the woman until she sat down in a huff, refusing to make eye contact with him. He noted her face, a habit he formed when someone pissed him off.

Soon as the shop girl finished Sarah’s order, she snatched the bag and headed straight for the door, brushing past a middle-aged couple stepping in. Without delay, Alfie grabbed his own scones and followed after her. She stopped just beside the door, eyes closed, her hands gripped the bag and her clutch enough to turn her knuckles white. After a long moment, she opened those emerald eyes and smiled at him, all previous tension gone.

“Where should we go? Where were you heading to after this?”

He watched her, brows furrowed slightly wondering if she was truly fine or putting on a mask. “Ah, me flat. Give these to me mum and talk to Ishmael.”

“Can I come?”

“Really? S’nothin’ special.”

“Do I look like someone who cares. Do not answer that. I just…” She looked across the street for a moment as if gathering her thoughts. “I want to hear what you have been up to. With the war…let’s just get away. Pretend the world does not exist for a few hours. Be whoever we want to be.”

“S’alright, love, alright. Lemme warn you, yeah, it’s a long walk from here.” He did not mind for himself but with those kitten heels she had on, he was more concerned for her. Plus the streets of Camden were not known for their cleanliness.

Suddenly she placed her hands on her hips, gazing up and down the street. Alfie could not help himself as he subtly eyed those hips of hers she so kindly highlighted with her hands on them.

“Let’s go.” Slipping her arm through his, she started striding further up the street. He chocked down a laugh as he was being man-handled by her, it felt reminiscent of when his mum would drag him on errands with her when he was a young lad. They approached a carriage, the driver smoking a cigarette while the brown gelding pawed at the cobblestones.

“Are you waiting on someone?” Sarah asked.

“No, Miss.”

“Good. Take us to Camden Town.” As if this was a normal occurrence, she released Alfie and gracefully climbed up into the carriage. She looked like a princess, head held high, above those lower than her here in the streets of London. Alfie remained frozen to the ground, not because he was afraid. Never had he been on a horse-drawn carriage, his family certainly could never afford that. No, this was a glimpse into her life. How easily she commanded the driver and the casual way she sat herself upon the luxury this was. This was a life she had been born into. So vastly different than his own.

Looking down at him, her emerald eyes narrowed. “Alfie Solomons, you get that ass of yours up here before I come down and beat it. I would hate to mess up that pretty face of yours.”

That earned a laugh and head shake from him. In the moment he did not care that he was in public. Sarah, his angel, always kept him on his toes…and he loved it. “Yes, me lady.”

Quickly he climbed up and the driver took off. Never once did the driver stare at the two young people nor seem bothered by their obvious class difference. He kept his head straight forward, clucking his tongue at the horse occasionally, cigarette hanging perched between his lips. The carriage seat was wide enough for two people to sit comfortably next to one another but for Alfie and Sarah, this left several inches between them. Something Alfie was not a fan of.

Without a thought, he swung his arm over and behind her, not even bothering to hide his actions. Still looking straight ahead, she slid over slightly so their shoulders were touching. He could see the corners of her lips slanted upward, trying to hide the smile that wanted to emerge. That intoxicating scent of hers filled his nose. Anytime over the past two years that he smelled lavender, he could not help but think of her. An annoyance on occasion. Yet it was never quite right to match what came off her skin.

“So who ‘em ladies you with? Seemed real proper and boring.”

“Some family friends and acquittances. I was supposed to make an excellent impression as the daughter of Lord Byron and be the epitome of a sophisticated, educated young lady…or so my father said.”

“Yeah? Hate to say but I fuckin’ doubt that ‘appened. One of ‘em looked ready to faint, right, you walkin’ off with me gutter self.”

As she chuckled he could feel her fully relax against him. He tightened his arm around her, encouraging her closer to him.

“I would much rather waste away an afternoon with you then spend another minute with them.” She elbowed him in the side as he smirked at her. “Shut up! That’s the God’s honest truth. Damn. They are so superficial and boring. We spent the last twenty minutes talking about what type of flowers one of them should use as centerpieces for the charity event she is hosting…and before that! How scandalous dresses are becoming now with young ladies showing their legs! I thought my ears would start bleeding!”

He laughed at her, her nose crinkling in distain for those women’s company. “I’m sure its been torture for you, eh?”

In mock anger, she tried to reach over and smack his chest but his other hand shot out and grabbed it before contact was made. Carefully watching her, he entwined their fingers, never dropping her gaze. Perhaps it was the proximity, her face only inches from his or holding her hand. Perhaps it was being above the rest of London in the carriage that made him feel like a king. Perhaps it was because in a month the likelihood of his death skyrocketed. Whatever is was, he asked the question that had been burning unanswered in his soul for the past two years.

“What ‘appened, love? Where you disappear to?”

She sighed, her tone matching his in softness. “America. My father sent my mother and me there to visit some family and to try and strengthen business connections.” She squeezed his hand in apology. “There was no forewarning. Maybe for my mum but he told me one morning that my mum and I were leaving the next day.”

“Why are you back?”

“It was time.” She replied evasively.

There was more to that reason, he could feel it and it itched at him but he could tell it was not something she wanted to talk about. They sat in silence for a minute, both absorbed in their own thoughts before Alfie broke it with a cheeky grin. “How often did you run away from coppers there? Can’t see you stayin’ outta trouble, yeah, even across the pond. Trouble just follows you, must be your middle name, innit? Miss Sarah Trouble Byron…mmm, sounds ‘bout fuckin’ right.”

“I beg to differ, I am a proper lady of class and sophistication.” She teased right back. “I think it is you who has corrupted my morals, a negative influence, tainting my lily white reputation.”

“Yeah, love, yeah, and it wasn’t you who broke me outta handcuffs and ran off with me that first time we met. Actually, that bit would have been helpful last year when I was in a spot of trouble.” He leaned close, bringing his mouth right to her ear. “And in the theatre, I sure as hell ain’t done that before you but believe me, I still think about it and have to use my hand to…relieve the tension.”

Her free hand trailed up his thigh as she turned her head so they were nose to nose. “Poor Alfie, must be quite the struggle. I confess, I do miss the taste of your...lips.”

“Oh yeah? Been thinkin’ ‘bout me too, eh?”

She bit her lip, eyes still staring into his and it took everything in him to not crash his lips against hers in a frenzy. Desire and temptation swelled around them, its own type of music making their hearts beat in unison. Opening her mouth to answer, she closed the gap, their lips barely touching.

“Miss! We reached Camden. Where to now?”

The tension eased slightly between them as the driver’s voice disrupted the music.

“Where to, Alfie?” She whispered, not having drawn away.

He cleared his throat, thoughts jumbled as he called out to the driver. “Next street over.”

The two stayed a lips distance apart, unable to tear themselves away but also soaking in the elation of being so close again after so long.

“And if I said I think about you every night…as I touch myself?” Her lips ghosted over his to place the lightest kiss on his cheek before she pulled back, a mischievous smile on her lips.

“Fuckin’ hell, love. I’m right sure you like torturin’ me, yeah.”

“Mr. Solomons, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Temptress.”

“Oh no, that is only after dark. Now I am your innocent angel.” She winked, dragging her hand back down his thigh.

“Fuck.” He dropped his head on her shoulder. “Just wait till I get you alone, yeah. We’ll see which comes out, the temptress or the angel.”

The carriage lurched to a halt. Alfie slowly got out, a certain body part at an uncomfortable half-mast. Turning to help Sarah, he saw her paying the driver before turning towards him.

As he opened his mouth to protest, she silenced him with a pointed look. Annoyed and amused he reached out a hand and helped her out. He snagged their bags before looking to the driver once again. The man gave him a nod and wink before facing forward and flicking the reins. Maybe him and Sarah had not been as indiscrete as he thought.

“C’mon.” He tucked her arm through his as he led them down his streets. Sure, he could have let the carriage bring them closer to his flat but he wanted to minimize the attention the two of them received and a carriage would have done the opposite in this part of town.

“How far away is your flat?”

“Not far, few blocks away. Regrettin’ comin’ with me?”

“Never. I am just hoping it does not rain.”

He glanced up, having noted the darkening sky earlier and the saturation in the air. He wrapped his arm around her waist and hurried their steps, not wanting to get caught in the rain himself.

Unfortunately fate had other plans.

A drizzle caught them two blocks away so when they finally made it to Alfie’s complex, they were both wet but thankfully not soaked through. Their damp clothes clung to their bodies like a second skin but instead of being aggravated, they were both smiling at one another. He led her up the stairs to the second floor of the expansive brick building. Luckily his flat was one of the end units so he did not have to parade her past the next twelve flats so everyone could stare and ogle at her.

Quickly he unlocked the flat and pulled her in, making sure to lock it behind them. He set the bags of treats on the small kitchen counter and moved to the furnace, tossing some coal in to warm the drafty place up. The warmth felt good on his hands and face, biting back the chill seeping into his skin.

Turning around he watched Sarah slowly make her way down the short hallway towards the large room that held the kitchen and living space. Her eyes scanned the flat yet he could not tell from her expression what she thought of it. The flat was simple and small, truly nothing special. The walls were bare, showcasing the fading paint and few spots of exposed brick. Barely any furniture to speak of, besides the kitchen table and few chairs. On the opposite side of the open room was the doors to the bathroom and bedroom, both small room in their own right. He did not need much, this place was just for him to crash and get away from others if need be. If anyone ever came over it was his mum, Ishmael or occasionally his zayde to chat. Hosting was not something he enjoyed.

“It ain’t much buts it’s a place to lay me head down without being bothered.”

She nodded as she placed her clutch on the small kitchen table. Finally her eyes settled on him. “Do you have something I could wear? At least until my dress dries…unless you suggest an alternative.”

“Right, yeah, wouldn’t want you catch a cold. Likely be the death of you.” He slowly ran a hand over his jaw, feeling the stubble there, as he blatantly and suggestively dragged his gaze over her body. Rising, he moved closer until he crowed her against the side of the table. “Sure I got a shirt or somethin’ you can wear, though I’ve ‘eard body heat warms you up faster, yeah? I can share mine with you if you’d like.”

“Oh, I am positive it would be quite the sacrifice for you. You deserve a medal for your efforts.” Her hands roamed over his chest until she began unbuttoning his shirt, tantalizingly slow, one at a time while never looking away from his gaze.

He could feel the heat radiating off her body, a warmth he had every intention of dwelling in and letting seep deep into his bones. His hands settled on her hips, thumbs drawing circles over her damp dress. “Mmm…sacrifice. Just helpin’ an old friend out cos I’m such a nice man.”

“A true gentleman.”

“If you say so, love.” Unable to stand it anymore, he pressed his lips to hers. It started off slow and sweet but quickly deepened when she opened her mouth to trace his lips with her tongue. Roughly he picked her up and set her on the table, moving to stand between her legs. Their breathing turned to pants, lips and hands moving over one another’s face and body. Alfie was not a virgin but never had any of the past girls he had been with caused this intense reaction in him. With Sarah, it was as if every cell of his body cried out for more. To know her as only a lover does, to breathe her in and let her scent be the incense around him, to hold her very soul in his hands for surely then he could truly understand her and please her as he desired to. She was his angel and his curse, for none could ever compare to her.

His shirt slipped off just after he pushed her dress up her thighs as far as it would go. He paused, mouth against her throat as her hands tugged his hair. “Love, tell me right now if you wanna stop cos once we get goin’, I ain’t so sure I’ll be able to.”

“Don’t stop, Alfie.”

Her command shot right through to his cock and it took all of his willpower to not just fuck her right there. No, this was his angel and she deserved to be treated like one…mostly. A few naughty, wicked things aside. He pawed at the buttons on the back of her dress while she tugged on his belt and trousers. A frantic need for one another consumed them and clothes could not be shed fast enough.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Alfie paused, unsure if he was hearing things. Who would be knocking on his door right now?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Fuckin’ hell.” He groaned, cupping one of her breasts and rubbing the hardening nipple.

“Ignore it.” Her hands gripped his ass possessively, drawing him closer, while she sucked on his neck.

“Yes, Miss.” There was no desire to leave this moment. He needed her and to his surprise, she needed him too. How long had he dreamt of this moment? Fantasized about what she would feel like under him? As he tweaked her nipple, she sighed out his name, and with that all blood flow rushed straight to his cock.

A louder, more demanding knocking interrupted once again.

“I’ll kill ‘em.”

“I am not opposed, although you were doing so well keeping the blood off your knuckles.” She teased, leaning back.

“Don’t move, yeah. I’ll get rid of ‘em.” He took two steps back, watching Sarah and absolutely loving how she looked on his table. Hair messed up, dress hitched up and askew, lips swollen and cheeks rosy, she looked like perfection. Maybe after this he needed to go to the synagogue and give a prayer of gratitude. He must be doing someone right for God to bless him like this. First though, he needed to take care of whatever bastard was at his door interrupting his time. Heads would be rolling if it was not some kind of emergency. Yeah, he could feel his temper rising and whoever was on the other side of the door would regret it. He started towards the door, hell bent on making this idiot regret knocking. Last second, he grabbed his shirt off the floor and slipped it on, not buttoning it. He did not plan to keep it on for long.

He opened the door, ready to spew venom on the unsuspecting victim, only for the words to die on his tongue.

“ ‘ello, mum.”

“Alfie, zun!” She pressed a kiss to his cheek, her petite frame forcing her to rise on her toes to reach him. “Your laundry is done, yeah.”

“Um, mum, now isn’t a…”

“Shhh…I’ll just drop off quick, yeah, then leave you be.” Maneuvering around him like a slippery eel, she squeezed herself plus the basket on her hip past Alfie and down the short hallway.

“Fuckin’ hell.” Alfie muttered, closing the door and following the only woman he allowed to trample over him. She still did his laundry and fed him frequently so he could not complain too much. His hardened cock did complain though.

Coming around the corner, his mum jabbered away at him, words like unceasing raindrops in a storm. Her graying hair was pulled back and she wore her customary patterned apron over her dress, looking every bit like a housewife coming over for tea and gossip. Honestly, he tuned out half of what she was saying when he noticed Sarah was not sitting on the table anymore. He glanced around and noticed his bedroom door shut. She must of dashed into there when he was at the door. Momentarily resigning himself, he sat down at the table, running his hands over his face. He needed to shave soon, most of the other lads did not shave but he preferred the clean feeling. It made him feel less lower-class, which was irrational.

Just as suddenly as the fountain of words and gossip began from his mum, it ended abruptly. Alfie looked up, confused. His mum froze just next to the sink, staring to the side in the direction of his bedroom. His eyes followed and widened at the sight.

Sarah stood in the threshold of his bedroom, the door open behind her now. What jumped out was she stood barefoot, stockings gone, with his long, black coat covering her and buttoned all the way up. It should not be possible to make an old coat look so enticing. His mind immediately jumped to wondering what she was wearing underneath.

“Ohhh…” His mum softly exhaled, then spoke as if to herself. “Mrs. Cohen said she’d seen a young lady with you. I didn’t believe her.”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Solomons. My name is Sarah. It’s a pleasure to meet you and see the woman responsible for raising such a fine man as Alfie.” Replaced was the teasing, fiendish Sarah he knew; and who stood before and greeted his mum was Sarah Byron, the debutant and socialite. As she moved forward, hand extended to shake his mum’s hand, everything about her screamed poise and intentionality. Alfie was in awe. How easily that mask slipped on so she could become whoever the situation called for.

After shaking the hand of his somewhat stunned mum, Sarah continued talking as if this was not the strangest occurrence, nor had been sighing his name minutes ago while on his table. “I sincerely apologize if I am intruding on something. Alfie was a kind enough to allow me to escape the rain here and allow me to wear his coat to warm up. That little bit was just enough to send a chill to my bones.”

And with that, he could visibly see his mum’s hesitation towards the strange lady in her son’s flat vanish. “Oh! You poor dear, sit down by the furnace, warm up. Has Alfie offered you tea to warm up? Course not. Lemme get some water boiling, yeah. Have that chill gone in no time.” Just as suddenly as she stopped moving, she started tearing around his kitchen. Grabbing the barely-ever-used kettle, then complaining about the dust on it, she started to boil water and searched his mostly empty cupboards for some biscuits to go with the tea. She glanced at the bags on the counter but left them alone to his surprise.

“Tell me, love, how do you know my Alfie?”

“Oh, old friends you could say. He saved me from some lads with ill intentions, so perhaps my protector would be better?”

His mum huffed, shaking her head. “Some of those boys these days, even the men too, don’t have their heads on straight. Tell me about yourself, Sarah, right? Are you from here?”

“I was but I have spent the last two years in America. Only just arrived back last week.”

“America! Hear that, Alfie! World traveler, yeah. What were you doin’ there?”

And so began the most uncomfortable twenty minutes of Alfie’s life, so far. It did not help that his clothes were still damp but he refused to leave his mum and Sarah alone. Who knew the trouble those two could get into together. His mum and Sarah chatted easily on either side of him at the small table. The steam from their tea cups swirled between them creating the illusion of comfortability and ease. On one hand he learned much about Sarah’s time in America and her travels. No, what made the entire situation uncomfortable was as soon as his mum sat down, the temptress appeared to torment him. Sarah rubbed her bare leg against his trousers. He pretended to reach under the table to adjust his trouser leg and grabbed her leg to still her movements. That was his mistake. Her warm, stocking-free skin met his bare hand and his cock hardened immediately. He shifted, keeping his hand under the table, but slowly drew it up over her knee and up her silky thigh. The whole time Sarah acted as if no indiscretions were occurring under the table, answering his mum’s questions easily and sipping on her tea.

Either his mum paid no mind to how close Alfie ended up scooting his chair to the temptress on his left, or she pretended not to notice. He hoped for the first. The sinful images that played on repeat in his mind were enough to make even a prostitute blush. Rubbing slow, sensual circles with his thumb on her thigh, it took everything to not throw his mum out and have Sarah laid out before him on the table. Somehow Sarah remained poised and graceful as ever, smiling and laughing along with his mum.

Finally, once Alfie was positive his blood could not decide between his brain and his cock, his mum declared that she needed to get back to her flat to start dinner. Alfie sent a silent prayer of thanks heavenward. He followed his mum to the door, promising to clean up the teapot and cups and not let them sit around.

His mum cupped his cheek after giving it a quick peck. She spoke quietly in Russian, something she only did if she thought it important enough. “She seems like a good girl, a good friend but remember Alfie…she s’not Jewish, yeah?”

“I know, mum.”

She nodded one last time as if debating his words before she strolled away towards the staircase. He waited until she vanished before closing the door and moving back towards the main area. Coming around the corner, he froze, brain unable to process what his eyes were seeing.

Sarah must have cleared off the table and put everything on the counter, but that only received a split second of Alfie’s attention. No, what held his attention was the angel with gemstone eyes and a mischievous smile slowly unbuttoning his coat, standing in the middle of the room. Her eyes had him pinned, unable to move, beguiled to only ever see her. The last button undone, she lazily allowed the coat to fall from her shoulders and land behind her. Underneath had been hidden a cream colored silk slip with a hint of lace on the hem.

He unconsciously rubbed his mouth and jaw as his eyes soaked in the angelic being before him. Everything about her looked so soft, from her skin to her long blonde hair cascading down her back to her delicate features and to that silky slip that teased him, daring him to explore underneath. It felt almost sacra-religious for his calloused, dirty hands to touch something so pure, so perfect, so lovely. Then both his nightmare and fantasy happened. After easing the straps off her shoulders, the slip dropped down to pool around her bare feet.

“Alfie, come here.” That sweet, soft voice purred and broke whatever spell she had placed on him.

His feet brought him before her in three long strides. The floodgates had been released when she spoke his name. Their mouths met, practically devouring one another, and their hands roamed over their bodies. Somewhere amongst the passion, he could feel her tugging at his shirt. Taking the hint, he quickly ripped his shirt off, tossing it onto the floor as her hands started on his trousers.

“Bedroom. Now.”

He smirked. “Yes, my lady.” Stepping out of his trousers, he picked her up, her legs immediately wrapping around his waist, so their mouths could fuse together once more. Somehow they made it to his small bedroom without causing damage to anything. Not that either would have noticed in the moment. Gently he set her on the bed, the frame creaking slightly betraying its age.

“Alfie...don’t make me wait.”

“Oh I plan on returning the favor…the tease you were under the table. Hell, I couldn’t think straight.” Before she could protest, he knelt down and brought his face to her core. The moans and whines were enough to fuel him to continue. Her hands wrapped in his hair. Soon enough he could feel that she was almost at her peak by her thrashing and moans.

“Please…please, Alfie…sweetheart, I need you.” She begged.

He stood, wiping her nectar from his lips before ripping off his knickers and crawling above her. They were both ready, having waited for this moment, it was so easy to slip inside her heat. A moan escaped from both of their lips, cementing the pleasure of finally completing one another. Strangely enough, for Alfie, it felt like coming home. Every moan and sigh from her as their bodies moved in tandem only made him want to hear more. He would never tire of her and he would always want her.

After both found their release, they lay on the small bed together, chest to chest, post-coital smiles on both of their lips.

“I missed you.” He quietly confessed, carding his fingers through her hair.

“I missed you too. I am so sorry.”

“S’alright. I got this flat though…that summer…in case, well…you came.”

“Oh sweetheart. I would have if I could.” She kissed his lips gently in apology before tracing her finger over his stubbly cheek. “I bet your landlord will be getting complaints from the neighbors with how loud you were.”

“Me?” He scoffed. “I had you screamin’ me name if you remember. No, the neighbors won’t say nothin’, hard to complain ‘bout the landlord to himself.”

“Wait...you own the building?”

“Ah…fuck, well, s’not a big deal. The last landlord was a bastard and raised the prices again, even though he knew it fuckin’ would put most families on the street, right?”

Shifting so she could straddle him, she traced a hand over his chest, playing with his chest hair as a coy smile betrayed her amusement. “So he just handed the place over to you when you complained?”

“Well we may have had a rather…unpleasant discussion on his part…where some new rules were set.” One hand he placed on her thigh and the other he touched the pendant necklace she still wore as he looked at it. It looked like a simple northern star in gold on a thin gold chain. Nothing remarkable but just because she wore it made it special. “He was a fat, ugly bastard with some deep gambling debt. Tried to force me mum to sleep with him or threatened to toss her on the street.”

“I am surprised he is still alive.”

He chuckled darkly. “He ain’t, but not by me hands, right,. Trussed him up like a pig and delivered ‘im to the men he owed. Under new management this place is, yeah.”

“Alfie Solomons…” She batted her eyelashes at him, a teasing smile slipping through. “…the savior of the lowly.”

“Hell no, just don’t like ‘im thinkin’ of touchin’ me mum.” His hands moved to cup her breasts, teasing her nipples. “When you gotta leave, love?”

Leaning forward, she gave him a deep, open-mouth kiss that caused his cock to hardened just from that alone. “Oh I am nowhere done with you yet. We are going to make this a night you never forget and your neighbors to hate us.” Without prompt, she settled on his hardened cock, tossing her head back erotically at the sensation.

“Fuckin’ hell, love. You’ll be the death of me.”

Words vanished as they lost themselves to the pleasure of their bodies once again.

***

Some time later, they both lay on the bed again. A light sheen of sweat still dampening their naked bodies but neither cared.

“I think I need a drink. Do you have anything to offer a girl?”

“Um, yeah, don’t move.” He dragged himself off the bed, not wishing to tear away his gaze from her but his own stomach was beginning to rumble. Still naked, he darted to the kitchen and grabbed the only bottle of alcohol he kept in his flat and the left over pastries that Sarah brought.

Her eyes scanned his body when he returned, slowly licking her lips. “I could get used to a handsome, naked man bringing me food and drink in bed.”

“At your service, Angel.” He winked, settling himself next to her. Both now leaning back against the headboard, unabashed in their nakedness, legs stretched out still tangled in the blankets.

“No champagne?”

“Not here, love. Just this rum. Don’t let me mum know about it, yeah?”

She took the bottle from him, gave it a sniff before sipping straight from the bottle. A slight grimace betrayed her thoughts which had him laughing. “It is not terrible.”

“That stuff s’fuckin’ awful, love. Piss poor shit really. No, they use fuckin’ awful molasses, too cheap to buy better stuff, right? That would help the flavor and color. Cane sugar ain’t bad but the molasses…” His words ended when he took a sip himself from the bottle. He was surprised when he noticed the curious look he was receiving from her. “Wot?”

“How do you know so much about rum making?” She took the bottle back and sipped from it again, this time controlling her facial reaction.

He shrugged. “Talkin’ to the right people, I suppose. Ain’t hard, just gotta use the good quality ingredients and know how to treat it right, mmm, then its temperature and timing, yeah.”

“You should make your own.”

“What?” He laughed, caught off guard by her statement. Never before had he considered anything remotely close to that. “Where? Here? Who gonna buy the shit I make?”

“I bet it would be better than this stuff.”

“Damn right.”

“Just think about it…I can see you running your own distillery. You have the knowledge to do it and you know enough people that could help you out. It could be another way to make money.”

“You know it’s illegal, yeah?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Not the point.” She reached into one of the bags and pulled out a pastry with chocolate drizzle on it. A fond smile on her face, she took a bite and moaned. “Damn, these are good.”

He leaned over and kissed her deeply, letting his tongue rove into her mouth and taste the chocolate lingering. She returned the passionate kiss, bringing a hand up to cup his face. He pulled back first, licking his lips. “Mmm…those are.”

She laughed, smacking his chest, before finishing off the pastry.

“Why are you really here?”

Now it was her turn to look confused. “What?”

He rubbed a hand over his mouth and jaw, unsure why he was spoiling the tranquil moment they had. Something deep in him needed to know the truth. Not the easy answer she had given his mum. “Why are you back in London? You said something to me mum ‘bout being called back by your father.”

“It is nothing. He figured I had been gone long enough.”

He grabbed her chin, tilting her face towards him when she tried to look away. “Try again, Angel.”

“Alfie, it does not matter.”

“Then tell me.”

She jerked her chin out of his hand, turning to stare straight ahead at the wall opposite them. He noticed her fiddling with the pendant but otherwise remained unmoving. Her face was blank, emotionless but he was beginning to learn her and knew she was thinking hard. He slipped a lock of her hair between his fingers, playing with the end and admiring how soft it was. It was several long minutes before she spoke.

“My father received a marriage proposal for me.”

Alfie tried to keep his thoughts and emotions at bay, not wanting to spook her with how much that angered him.

“A few of those women I was with earlier at the tea room…they are some of his family. I was to make a good impression for marriage. It would be an alliance of sorts really between our families.” She took a long draw from the bottle this time, still staring straight ahead. “He is an…well it does not matter. My job is just to look good on his arm in public and please him in his bed…guess that will not happen now with what his mother was yelling earlier.”

“Fuck ‘em.”

She turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised.

Taking the bottle from her hand, he set it on the floor, eyes never leaving hers. “Fuck ‘em. If they can’t see you for more than that, it ain’t worth it none.” He crawled over her until he hovered above her body, now laid out under him. “Besides, you’re my angel and I’ll bloody well make sure everyone fuckin’ knows it, yeah?”

“How are you going to do that?”

With a wicked smirk, he leaned forward and sucked hard on one of her nipples while tweaking the other between this fingers. Immediately she arched her back, a moan escaping her. With a loud ‘pop’, he released her nipple to switch sides. Her hands carded through his hair, pulling him closer, a soft whine filling the air around them. God, he loved the sounds she made. They were a symphony to his ears. Something he never wanted to forget.

His lips trailed up her chest to her neck, sucking and nibbling as he went causing her to shift underneath him seeking friction. He stopped when he reached her ear. “I’m gonna make you scream me name, yeah? Till everyone hears it and I’m gonna make you mine again and again till you can’t walk tomorrow.”

“Promises, promises.”

Oh, he fulfilled that promise...and enjoyed every moment of it.

***

The rest of the night saw them never leaving the creaky, small bed unless necessary. The flat reeked of sex and alcohol. In-between throes of passion, they cuddled, talking and laughing about whatever come to mind. Eventually they finished off the treats she bought at the bakery and the bottle of rum. He shared about his growing reputation amongst the community, his annoyance with some of the younger lads and the local girls his mum kept trying to catch his eye with. The one thing they never talked about was tomorrow or the future, preferring to live in the moment. For both of them, the future only beheld uncertainty.

At some point in the early morning hours, they drifted to sleep tangled up in one another. Alfie woke first, used to rising early. This time he refused to move. He lightly traced her form which was pressed up against him, touching her hair and skin, trying to memorize every curve on her body. He wondered what would become of them now. Soon enough he would be off to war. Only fate knew if he would return to these shores and streets that raised him. And Sarah, his angel…where would she go? Only in the darkness still covering his room, could he admit to himself how perfect this felt. Waking up next to her, having her in his arms and his flat. Yet something continued to draw them apart. Would their paths only ever meet for a short period or would one day they converge and create one single path they both could walk on?

When she woke, they dressed and joked about what the day held for each of them. Trying to keep the mood light and carefree felt almost forced, a heaviness hung unseen and unspoken in the flat alluding to the truth. This may be the last time they saw each other.

If their last bout of passion- him pinning her against the wall in the hallway, head buried between her breasts as she panted his name- felt like a goodbye, neither said anything.

He guided her over the bridge and closer to where she could find a carriage to take her home. They walked next to one another, hands brushing occasionally. Silence hung over them once they left his flat. It was not uncomfortable, more as if words were unnecessary at this point. For what else was there they could truly say?

On a street corner, Alfie waved down a carriage for Sarah. The elderly man spoke with a thick rasp yet friendly as his golden mare stomped impatiently.

He grasped her wrist before she started to climb up, gaining her attention. “Will you write…to me? I reckon I’ll be in France with the other lads, yeah. S’alright if you don’t…just figured I’d ask anyhow.”

“I will. I’ll try to at least. I’m not sure where I’ll be after this, but if I can. I’ll write.”

He nodded, shuffling his feet. He hated good-byes, never quite knew what to say but this felt downright painful.

“Here. I want you to have this.” She took off the thin gold pendant she had been wearing the whole time. “I knew my father would never let me wear the Jewish star, but this star was close enough. I got it to remember you. Its brought me luck since I bought it…hopefully it’ll do the same for you.”

Alfie looked down at the necklace she placed in his palm, the Northern star design simple in gold. Being small, he figured he could easily hide it from others. “Angel, I…”

“No, you come back.” She cupped his face, voice hard and demanding. “That’s an order, soldier. One day you will rule London and I’ll be by your side. Until then, you survive. We will find each other.”

Uncaring of the people around him, he grabbed her and kissed her thoroughly. Whatever words he wished to say but sat stuck in his chest, he poured into that kiss. She pulled him closer, reciprocating with a passion that crossed the line of decency in public.

Eventually they broke apart. With one last longing look, she turned and climbed into the carriage. Immediately the driver flicked the reins and started away. Never once did she look back but he watched until the carriage was gone from view.

Her last words to him felt seared, branded into his soul. Like a kiss from fate, he somehow knew they would come to pass. No matter what happened in this goddamn war, he would survive. He had too.

“I’ll find you, Angel.” He whispered, a promise to himself and her. Tightening his fist around the necklace, he turned and started back towards Camden Town.

#Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders fiction #peaky blinder fanfic #alfie solomons x oc #Alfie Solomons #pre ww1 #sexy times #tom hardy fanfiction #mzwrites

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twilight-deviant · 5 years

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So I never saw the Timeless movie but enjoyed your feedback on the show while it was in progress and agreed with you much of the time-- is the movie worth watching ? I'm scared it's going to be rushed, sloppy, and ly@tt garbage

First of all, thank you for valuing my opinion enough to ask. I haven’t rambled about Timeless in awhile, but I’m flattered you enjoyed and remembered my feedback when I did. ♥

Sadly, I have to report that Timeless finale is a movie disliked by Garcy fans, Riya fans, and gen fans alike. Pretty much the only way to like it is if you’re the target audience: Lucy/Wyatt shippers. Or maybe if you’re a very, very casual fan.

Full disclosure: I have not actually watched the Timeless movie. Like you, I feared it would abandon everything Timeless stood for, everything we loved, to waste its last moments on Lucy/Wyatt fan service. Aaaaaand I was right. Good call me on not watching it live. It might have broken my heart. I got the information later through friends and research. And tbh, hearing everything second-hand was actually hilarious. Yes, it was upsetting, but the writing is SO BAD, I actually laughed. Out loud. I may have cried laughing. It’s just… so bad. XD

I spent months dreading a worst case scenario for the movie, and when the time came, it was every bit that. (And then some? Somehow?) But when it got here, all of my fears turned to hilarity. I was RELIEVED. After months of being afraid, I finally felt free. I thought “This is what I was afraid of?” Because toxic shippers in the fandom got everything they wanted, just the way they wanted, but it is HORRIBLE! Because what they wanted was BAD. It watches just like the badly written fanfiction they demanded. Which is ALL this movie is: badly written fanfiction.

To quote Claudia Doumit when she read the script: “It feels like a fan wrote the movie.” Perhaps she means that in a positive way, but if a professional is writing “like a fan,” spoiler alert, it’s never a positive thing. It’s a “basic” thing.

Timeless movie is SO BAD that it is the least rewatched episode of all Timeless. Delayed returns on it are borderline embarrassing. Few people except Lucy/Wyatt shippers wanted to subject themselves to it a second time. Not to mention that support for Timeless and a third renewal fell into steep decline after the premiere. It seems not many people want more if this is the “more” we might have to look forward to.

imo, Future television writers should study this movie for direct examples of what NOT to do. It’s every worst case scenario, presented to you at breakneck speed. You barely have time to get over one absurdity before the next one hits. Not gonna lie. I’ll give kudos where due. I am legitimately IMPRESSED that writing managed to get every single thing wrong. Do you know how statistically impossible that is?!?!

Timeless movie really sort of took all the negatives, low points, disproportionate focus on romance, and bad writing of S2 and ran with them. That’s what it is. Concentrated S2, minus any good parts.

Basically, if you are a fan of Flynn, Lucy, Rufus, Jiya, Jessica, Emma, Connor, Denise, good writing, feminism, no plotholes, Riya, Garcy, or TIMELESS, please do not watch the Timeless movie. Save yourself. If your first (only?) priority is Wyatt and Lucy/Wyatt, go right ahead. It was made just (only?) for you.

Though obviously, I can’t/won’t stop you from watching. You may still want to form your own opinion, and if so, you have my full support. I hope that you find something appealing to make it worth your time. I especially hope that if you don’t, it doesn’t ruin Timeless for you, as it has other people. I still may watch it myself one day. I may. But not for entertainment purposes. Really just to mock it from a more informed standpoint. I’ve considered live-blogging the event. lol.

As is though, I basically know the entire movie through aforementioned friends and research. And I will summarize below the cut on the ways this movie failed Timeless and its fans. (PS: This is by no means everything. There’s just SO MUCH and I got tiiiired thinking about this monstrosity! Anyone is free to add on whatever I didn’t cover.)

[Spoilers]

Future Lucy gives the journal to Wyatt, the writer’s attempt to take something that has always been Flynn/Lucy’s thing and make it a L/W thing. (Somehow, we’re supposed to ignore that this Lucy already would have given her journal to Flynn in 2014. Conveniently, illogically, she has it again. So she can give it to Wyatt.)

Future Wyatt announces that Jessica was lying about being pregnant. Right out the gate. Great. Now, they get to kill her. Don’t worry, writing will strip away her entire character first so we don’t feel guilty when an “evil Rittenhouse agent” dies. It’s fine to kill a woman who was brainwashed from childhood, but let’s not kill a baby. We’ll just erase it instead. That’s different because reasons.

Writing introduces a new stipulation that people can coexist with time travel, but staying too long will kill them. This will come in handy later.

Also the new, updated Lifeboat will conveniently be able to do whatever the plot needs. Coexist? Sure. Autopilot? Suuuuure. Able to jump multiple times on one charge as if it had a nuclear core like the Mothership? Why not?!

If you thought Rittenhouse wasn’t scary anymore in S2, well hold onto this writer’s beer. Gone is any intimidation or purpose they once stood for. Now that Emma is running things, all that matters is stealing art and money from the past. Caution: Never go full two-dimensional evil.

Wyatt decides Jessica has to die and he’s the one who has to do it. But after half an argument from the team, he gives in and agrees not to. FLYNN will clean up Wyatt’s mess instead! Because suddenly, all that matters is he loves Lucy. Not his family. Not stopping Rittenhouse. No, he has to do this so that Lucy can be with Wyatt and Rufus can be alive.

Flynn tells Lucy that the journal can be unreliable. Despite this, he goes to 2012 and dooms himself because he believes, without a doubt, that Lucy’s heart will always belong to Wyatt, something he, ya know, got from the journal. And that neeeeeever changes. I mean, some guy said it was unreliable, but his name escapes me right now.

When 1x06 first aired and we heard the story of how Jessica died and how it was very much Wyatt’s fault, painting him in a negative light, I thought to myself (almost three years ago), “Wow. If we ever get a flashback of that night, writing is going to retcon all of that so hard so that it doesn’t look like Wyatt’s fault.” And lo! It’s Jessica’s fault now. She made Wyatt get jealous on purpose. She made him drink too much. She MADE HIM let her out of the car, per text orders of Rittenhouse agent. Poor Wyatt, what a victim. (Periodic reminder that Timeless hates women.)

Writing in the scene with Jessica’s death is so bad that we’re actually left with no alternative BUT to believe Wyatt was the original killer that night. Rittenhouse agent tells Jessica to get out of the car. This saves her life. No other person is seen on this road (save Flynn later) that could be the killer. And what’s the other course (the original timeline)? Without instruction, Jessica would have stayed in the car. And died. Wow, I can’t believe Wyatt killed Jessica in a drunken, jealous rage, but also I can. Also also writing just told us he did. If Rittenhouse wanted to make sure she was okay, they would tell her to stay in the car with her soldier husband, no matter what. That would save her. But what do they do instead? Hmmmm…….

Flynn kills Jessica and hurries to the Lifeboat, feeling the effects of coexistence taking affect. Set course for any time but this one, am I right? Wrong. Nah, better just die. Flynn sends the Lifeboat back to 1848 for the team and stays in 2012 so he can see his family one last time and then die. Because true character development is letting your five-year-old die violently two weeks before Christmas when you still have the life and power to prevent it.

Why does all of our correspondence end the same? Reply, reply, and then *crickets* Notice me, senpai. TToTT

For some reason (I mean, I know the reason. It’s bad writing by an idiot), dead Flynn’s fingerprints do not pull up when police find a John Doe on the beach. Despite the fact that he worked with the NSA and his prints would be on file.

I can’t with this woman:

Anywaaaaaaay, Rufus returns in a way that breaks all time travel rules thus far established in the show. Even though the team was traveling in 1848 with Flynn, suddenly it’s reset so that Rufus was there the entire time. Which, even if writing wants to claim that’s SOMEHOW possible, is still illogical because to overwrite that timeline, the characters’ memories would have also been overwritten. However, they remain perfectly intact with everyone remembering Rufus died. (Except Rufus, of course.)

Flynn dies because he stayed in the past too long. The writer would then go on twitter and pretend the matter was out of her hands, even though she’s the one who set the condition. She WROTE the rule that killed him, SO she could kill him. (This was previously not going to be a condition on coexisting time travel. Source: Interviews in which it was suggested that had Timeless been renewed for S3, Future Lucy and Wyatt may have stuck around for a few episodes.)

Arika would also say on twitter that, in her opinion, Flynn didn’t deserve a happy ending, to the uproar of many.

Writing tries to claim that Flynn was always the person who killed Jessica in 2012. Deer lord at the plotholes.

And the holes keep comin and they don’t stop comin. ♫

It’s Christmas now. For some reason. When the team returns to the bunker, there are Christmas decorations everywhere and we’re told that it’s Christmas in present day. Even though it was May yesterday.

There are more than a dozen ways to save Flynn at this point, but Arika doesn’t like him and just wants Lucy/Wyatt to bang. So you can bet none of them will be used. Also because she’s an idiot, the woman claimed on twitter that Flynn can’t possibly be brought back because he died while time traveling. Uh-huh. First off, what? He absolutely can be saved. Secondly, tell me how Rufus died again?

The characters acknowledge Flynn for a minute (in a toast give by WYATT, of all people) before promptly forgetting he ever existed until the end of the movie. When they need him again.

When Rufus wants to get intimate, Jiya tells him that she suffered some form of abuse while stranded in the past. That’s it. We will never talk about this again. Forget it ever happened. They brought it up just to scar Jiya even further and then ignore it. Anyone who tells you Timeless loves women is lying. Timeless wants to torture and torment women. FOR NO REASON!

Emma is the only person who cares Jessica is now dead. Because it sure as shirt wasn’t going to be her husband who like two days ago was desperately trying to get her to come home to her “family.” (Remember kids, women are just baby makers. If there’s not a baby in there, she’s garbage, and a minute spent mourning is a minute you’re not banging the next lady.) Emma plots revenge on the team, and honestly, by this point, I say let her do it. They’re horrible people.

Lucy boldly says she won’t be Wyatt’s second choice. So she can forget she said it in 10 minutes, when she’s suddenly fine with it.

Rufus is alive again, but all of his memories after 2x03 are conveniently erased. In his timeline, Lucy/Wyatt have been together this whole time, and he’s their biggest fan. He actually, canonically, verbally says that he’s “Team L/yatt.” That’s great because otherwise we’re left with a Rufus whose last words on the subject are:

“You are so worried about your stupid Lucy-Jessica soap opera that you forgot that there are other people here. Who matter to each other. Who love each other. If anything happens to her, Wyatt… I don’t think I can ever forgive you.”

Yeah, we can’t use that in the Lucy/Wyatt movie. Better erase the black man’s memory since he’s no longer serving his purpose: head cheerleader of the white couple!

Because Rufus’s memories are gone, all S2 development in the Riya relationship is gone with it. Damaging them even more after Jiya spent 3 years in the past (becoming hardened and almost a different person) and then watched him die. Don’t worry, writing will address none of this.

Rufus compares Lucy/Wyatt to Aragorn/Arwen. As a Tolkien nerd, I’ll throw down over this alone. IN WHAT WAY?!

There’s a pregnant woman in labor because leave no cliche unturned. Wyatt delivers the baby because what did I just say about cliches.

Lucy’s hormones go all a-twitter when she sees Wyatt holding said baby. Outside? In weather they admitted earlier is deathly freezing? (I mean, the mother might want to hold her own baby, but no. She has to get in line. Lucy absolutely HAS to have an epiphany that she needs Wyatt’s babies.)

Lucy decides that since Wyatt’s mistreatment of her was technically from another timeline, she can let go off all self-respect and tell herself he didn’t mean it. Also almost everyone else is dead or has their memories erased, so only they will know. Now Lucy can be with Wyatt and no one will judge her? Yay?

Despite Emma’s big speech in 2x10 about abandoning the pillars of “old Rittenhouse” and striking out on her own, she still backs down immediately when Denise makes Benjamin Cahill tell her to knock it off and surrender.

Emma dies at the hands of some deus ex machina random sniper. Letting us know the writer could no longer pretend she cared about any of this and just wanted to make Lucy/Wyatt bang. Are they banging yet? Bang now! Will this convenient and corny mistletoe move things along? Are they banging yet?

So Denise saves the day. In the most anti-climatic way. Meaning Rufus was never actually necessary and could have stayed dead. Actually, none of the team was necessary. Nothing in these episodes was necessary. All it took to end Rittenhouse was Denise and Ben. Roll credits.

Lucy decides NOT to save her sister Amy. Even though it’s what she has been fighting for since episode 2. Her reasoning? She says that trying to save the people they love has negative effects. (Let’s get one last jab at dead Flynn by saying, “Look at all the awful things that Flynn did in the name of saving his family.”) This is said in spite of the fact that Amy is SUPPOSED to be alive, and leaving her erased IS an alternate timeline, carrying the potential of being more catastrophic than SAVING HER and setting the events right.

PS: While in the past, Lucy JUST SAID, “What’s the point of saving history if we don’t save the people in it?” And then saved a stranger that was supposed to die. Writing for this movie does not care about consistency, only what’s relevant in the moment. And clearly the writer wanted Amy to stay dead.

Leaving Amy dead creates this lovely paradox:

Writer is too ignorant in time travel to understand that current timeline is erased, Lucy is now with Noah, and that is our endgame. Movie proceeds with Lucy/Wyatt ending.

The Mothership is dismantled for no reason. So now the team is stuck with ONE time machine for any future situations. Remind me again. Remind me. Why… did we have the Lifeboat in the first place? Oh yeah, Connor kept it in case the crew of the Mothership was ever stranded. And it came in handy after the Mothership was stolen. Right, who needs two time machines? Scrap her, boys!

In a flashforward to 2023, we see that Lucy is teaching at Stanford again. And she just got tenure! Which is a throwback to the Pilot, but completely ignores that it is not what Lucy wanted for herself, only what Carol influenced her into doing. Lucy’s dream job was to teach at a small college in Ohio. (Source: 1x14 conversation with Lindbergh.) But who CARES WHAT LUCY WANTS?! Certainly not a writer who barely knows the show upon which she is the showrunner.

Lucy is a thoroughly horrible fake feminist now. At her job, she teaches a general history class, but only talks about women in history. When a male student brings this up, Lucy says, “I meant to get to the men, but we just didn’t have time.Maybe in the spring, okay?” So he gets to sound sexist for valuing his education. Oh, wow, thanks. Feminism isn’t about ignoring men and acting like they’re not important. It’s about EQUALITY! Label your class as “Women’s History” if that’s all you’re going to teach. Also what if they don’t HAVE YOU next semester, Lucy?! They’re going on to their next classes completely unprepared. Remind me again how this woman got tenure? Because she didn’t get it in the Pilot due to her unconventional teaching methods. Somehow not adhering to your own course description is the secret to success?

Lucy and Wyatt have two twin girls named Flynn and Amy. There are so many bad fanfiction cliches I want to cry. TToTT Why are you making me cry? Never. name. the. second. generation. after. characters. that. died. It’s. THE. corniest. thing. Petition. to. stop!

Jiya and Rufus started “Riya Industries.” That’s right! They squeezed not one, BUT TWO fandom ship names into this nightmare. If you needed further proof no one was taking this movie seriously, here ya go.

2023 Lucy does take the journal to 2014 Flynn in the bar in Sao Paulo, but everything about it is wrong. Not only do Rufus and Wyatt accompany her, but the conversation leads to Lucy telling a man who just lost his family that he can change the past but will never save his family. Also he’ll die. And he should just accept all of that but still do what she says and sacrifice himself to save a world that hates him. And the entire conversation takes place in about a minute. I mean, people had a hard time believing Flynn would buy into Lucy’s story and do what she said after 2x08 premiered. Now? NO EFFING WAY!

A clip (deleted scene from Pilot) of 2016 Flynn at the end shows him about to raid Mason Industries and start us over again. In other words, he is stuck in Hell loop for eternity. His family will die in 2014, he will do horrible things he hates to save them and the world from Rittenhouse, and he will die unnecessarily to save the world. Then Lucy will go back in time, give him the journal, and start him on this quest all over again, knowing full well that he is a good man and this will destroy his soul. But she doesn’t care (actually smiles as she approaches him) because he “did bad things” and the writer thinks he deserves this. Even though Lucy is the one who set him on this path and one can EASILY argue it is all her doing and Flynn was nothing but her tool. Don’t worry, she gets her happy ending.

The movie closes on a young girl designing specs for her own time machine. Motives unknown, other than general interest, same as Connor in the beginning. The writer thinks this is an AMAZING open ending, leaving plenty of groundwork for more Timeless when fans get it renewed for a third time. (It is not. No one cares. You killed Timeless and flew all its plots into the ground.)

In conclusion, yes, worst case scenario on every single plot point. Timeless does nothing to prove or even suggest it deserves a third chance. I personally am left wishing it had never been renewed after the initial cancellation following S1. Let it stay dead now. Forever. It has done nothing to deserve yet another chance.

RIP Timemess.

#hopefully-happy #Ask #TD Reply #I hope you don't mind I published this publicly #I obviously had a lot to say #^__^;#In conclusion: It bad #And I would gladly meet with Arika in a Denny's parking lot #She ruined my favorite show #And then she came back with this movie and DESTROYED IT!#Also she hates logic and I love logic #She is my arch nemesis #I ranted way too long about this movie but if there's one thing I have in abundance #it's an opinion #Hahahahaha #Timeless

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fictionalnormalcy · 4 years

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1xYrCg0CVE

*rubs hands

All right, I have entered analysis mode. For this post, of the new Steven Universe Future trailer that was released. Now I would just to alert ahead of time, that these upcoming theories expressed are not entirely mine. I bet a lot of us have this on our mind. I am just giving my two cents on this. I have provided a link to the trailer above should you like some insight before reading ahead into the analysis. It is a mere thirty seconds, but man it’s a lot of mind-blowing images packed into the video. There are spoilers ahead, you have been warned.

SPOILERS, TURN BACK NOW IF NOT SEEN

Now, we all remember how the movie ended right? Steven has come to the realization that he will always have work to do, but has also acknowledged that for now he’ll enjoy his happily ever after. When we were given the first teaser trailer, we see that Steven has changed his shirt once again to the same one his dad wore in the flashback episodes. He can now drive, and Little Homeworld has been completed. Then we’re given a single glance of the hardships to come.

There are so many theories that came out of this image. It’s one that leaves you purely shocked. That fact that every single being had glowing eyes. Jasper is still nefarious, even after two years have passed. White Diamond seems to be coming undone. There are two new Lapis Lazulis to be introduced to. A new fusion with the wings of an Aquamarine and the distinct hair of a Ruby. A strange cactus creature that has four heads, all in the shape of Steven. And what was believed to be the source of it all, is the mysterious gigantic caterpillar in the back, which has the odd shape of Steven’s nose.

One of the biggest theories I came upon was the corrupted Steven theory. A factor I found most supporting to the theory was a comic I saw for Goretober. Featuring Jasper and Steven. A confrontation where she tells him something similar to what we saw in this current trailer, where she’ll never see Steven as her diamond. Jasper forcibly fuses with Steven, and because there are permanent marks of corruption, he’s affected as well. Which is how he turns into the caterpillar, and is believed to put those other beings under his control as well.

The cactus is, a little strange, to be frank. The simplest explanation seems to be that Steven somehow licks or bites into a cactus, and it turns into the creature. The Watermelon Stevens and Pumpkin are proof enough. I just don’t know what would make Steven use his powers on a prickly cactus of all things.

I included this image, as reference for what is seen in the newly released trailer.

We’re introduced to another storyline. There is a new gem, which appears to be a Rose Quartz that was once corrupted. Steven is showing her around, and from the looks of it, giving her a tour of Little Homeworld to see if she would want to stay. Telling her how everyone is free to be who they want to be. But then, it seems to change. We start hearing the faint echoes of his voice, everything seems to descend into chaos. We’re reintroduced to characters that I bet a lot of us wondered where they were during the course of the movie. So we are getting some clarification. The Amethysts and Jaspers have come to Earth, Yellow Pearl posing as a model with Vidalia teaching an art class. Pink Pearl’s eye continues to be cracked, and her outfit still displaying the color of her Diamond.

The first trailer, gave us the illusion that things were going to be sunshine and rainbows, with the single still portraying the conflict to come. As for this second trailer, I would have to say that there’s a lot more going on that is going to leave us fans emotionally wrecked.

Oh, and I just want to give a big thanks to Kimberly Brooks for providing such a fantastic voice for Jasper. I am fangirling about this because I think of the other character she voiced, Princess Allura from the reboot of DreamWorks Voltron, and I am very impressed at the drastic change in voice. Okay, moving on.

Of the beings we saw in the single image shown above, only Jasper and the fusion are included in the new trailer. We only get the fusion of Aquamarine and Eyeball for a few seconds, but they seem to be in the temple. Jasper, however, is best expressed as the largest conflict in this trailer. I feel that they included these three gems because the SU Crew would like us to see who still has a bone to pick with Steven and the rest of the Crystal Gems. But I think what really caught my attention the most, that seemed to fuel most of the dramatic parts we saw in the trailer, was what was happening to Steven. And let me just say, from the little we were given, I can make a vague guess as to why Zach Callison says this in an interview: “I hate to do this but the hardest scene I’ve done I did a few weeks ago and I can’t talk about it for quite a while.” I can bet that we’ll be seeing it in the epilogue series.

Jasper, from what we can guess, hasn’t been living in Little Homeworld or in Beach City. Nor has she returned to Homeworld. From what I can perceive, she took some time to herself, and has finally returned. In Battle of Heart and Mind, we see that she clearly needs some time to take in the new things that were uncovered. The biggest being that Steven had Pink Diamond’s gem. And judging from how she returned, Jasper is still as bitter as ever. She still harbors resentment toward Steven, but we don’t see if she wishes to enact revenge or strike at Steven in a different way.

The best we can tell, is that she does want to pick a fight with Steven. And only him. That looks like her foot pushing down on him when he goes fully pink.

There’s a screenshot someone made of Pearl stepping in front of Pink Pearl, defending her from someone. That someone is believed to be Steven. Following on that theory, it leads me to think that it may have been Pink Diamond’s fault that Pink Pearl’s eye was irreversibly damaged. Her cracked eye may not have come from an event that occurred while she was under White Diamond’s control. When we saw her in the Diamond Days episodes, I was under the impression that she had hurt herself while under White’s control, and that White had never allowed her to heal. But judging from how two years have passed and her eyes still continues in that condition, I have to accept that it’s permanent.

There’s another scene where we see Pink Pearl staring at Pink Diamond wistfully. I have a statement to make. Pearl had a crush on Rose Quartz. Pink Pearl had a crush on Pink Diamond. I’ll leave it at that.

I am most psyched, about the fact that Steven turns pink. I feel like it’s further fuel to the corrupted Steven theory, but the trailer provided a more frightening aspect. The trailer as a whole, just seemed to show Steven, unraveling. I mean, why would he suddenly turn off the video his mother made for him with a panicked look on his face. I don’t quite get the vibe that he’s trying to hide it from someone. The echoes of his voice, especially that “Soon we’ll be able to put the past behind us,” the way it kept repeating in the glitched out manner... I really think he’s saying that to reassure himself. Only one more struggle to go through.

A lot of people are suggesting that Steven is getting angry enough that Pink Steven is taking over. I actually, do not think that’s the case.

He looks wholeheartedly Steven. Pink Steven in Battle of Heart and Mind had an empty look and glasslike eyes. What I do agree on, is the rage. Now, Steven being the cinnamon roll that he is, it was quite an awakening when we saw what he was capable of when angry. I want to say that the first sign we see that he can spiral out of control was when he started having Diamond dreams and confronted the gems about it. They weren’t necessarily afraid of him in that aspect, but his outburst of how he hated them keeping secrets from him made everyone squirm in their seats.

But going Pink? This takes it to a whole new level. I can see where the Gem Steven taking over comes from. When we see that piece of Steven, it seemed relatively emotionless.

The anger it portrayed expresses how much unbridled power Steven holds. I mean, when he gets legitimately angry there is damage. When Pink Steven went off, with that single shouted phrase he incapacitated WD and all of the hypnotized gems. Almost knocking over Human Steven and Connie as all. The only emotion that Gem Steven Can seem to express, is anger.

I’m going to steer a little off track, but I swear this will relate to the trailer analysis later. So we were given a foreshadow in the episode where the gems meet Steven for the first time around Christmas. Where they wind up kidnapping him because they didn’t know how to handle a gem-human hybrid. Amethyst says that it was just Rose shapeshifting, which she had done. Pearl thinks Rose is trapped inside, and comes very close to pulling out Steven’s gem. The closest anyone got was Garnet. Saying it was fusion, and it was. Since Steven is half human half gem, there are literally two separate beings combined to make the Steven Universe we know and love.

We see as much when we see that Steven’s human half cannot survive if not supported by the gem half. It reminds me of the crystal shards, and like Garnet says, are pieces of a gem struggling to find the rest of themselves. The shards express one emotion. Desperation. We see Human Steven displaying this as he tries to crawl to his gem half even when he can’t even stand on his own two feet. He’s a fusion, and as seen through most, there are a variety of those emotions running through the combined being. If you pay attention to most fusions, whether when they’re solid or just short of coming undone, you can perceive who is communicating based on the dialogue exchanged. Garnet when saying that they must forgive Pearl. Stevonnie when saying they had to beat Kevin. Malachite when saying they were pathetic. Alexandrite when saying for the two of them to cut it out. You start to get a distinct voice of who is influencing the fusion.

Perhaps there’s a chance, that when Steven turns Pink, it’s the only aspect that Gem Steven can express. It’s the only opportunity for it to express its own control over the fusion. This theory is fragile at best. It still does leave you wondering why only now is Gem Steven starting to express itself by having the fusion turn completely pink.

These two images, made me think of a separate theory. Still somewhat involved with Steven going full on Pink. There was also another image where we see Pink Pearl with a blank look in her eye and the crack spreading across her hair and face.

You know, I feel there’s a reason that they have Steven wearing black. It’s because he’s going to become the darkest we’ve ever seen him. There are THREE instances in the 30 second trailer alone, that show us Steven doesn’t just turn Pink once. And we certainly aren’t given the impression that this is just some new power Steven unfolded. This seems to say, that Steven has finally been pushed to the limit. You have entered him into a vengeful state, and he can be considered a threat to others.

And honest to gods, I do not think Jasper is the sole cause of this release of unrelenting rage.

After this split second image, we do get to see that Steven has regret for what he seemingly just did, cracking a screen of some sort. His hands are cupped over his mouth and there are tears in his eyes. It’s a direct parallel to what his mother did when he had the Diamond dream as Stevonnie.

It could suggest that at first he isn’t control of when he turns Pink, but soon enough he accepts the rage, and unleashes it.

Lot of drama coming. Man, Steven Universe has come a long way.

#steven universe #steven universe future #spoilers #new trailer #analysis #what is to come #corrupted steven theory #pink pearl #fusion #gem steven

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compass96 · 5 years

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3wbf e3 review

Your girl’s back again with another regular 3wbf post sub post. Full disclosure, I’m really stopping myself from spending all my time raving about mew because she’s the one that has stolen my heart. I love love love her sass and how she doesn’t take anything from anyone. She’s gone through quite a alot and has had to learn some things just to be abe to survive. I seriously wish her the best in everything. Anyway on to the review, spoilers ahead.

Also, NeoMewShin is going strong as well. GMMTV if you are there, please grant my wish. No love triangle no love triangle no love triangle. And no pining shin. To be frank though, I wish there were more ShinMew moments. We get a lot of ShinNeo and NeoMew moments but the moments between shin and mew are lacking. I’m also worried that the trailers show shin and neo and neo and mew kissing in different places but we only have one shot of shin and mew kissing which is what we got in the first episode. I really hope that they don’t retcon the fact that shin was legitimately attracted to Mew in ep 1.

But seriously this show is great and some of the shots are just *mwah* spectacular. My favourite is the shot where all three of the leads are looking at the boot and it’s shot from a lower angle. That shot with the three of them is just exquisite. I would like more please.

I really liked the story of the woman who owned the love hotel. The story was able to use her story to reveal more info about Mew’s past. And while I don’t like her decision to turn on neomewshin, I can understand it. Yes there were a lot of other things she could have done to her husband but she was done. Nothing Mew said was going to stop her from killing him, she had already had enough. All the tv report she saw did was give her a way to kill him and get away with it. To her this was her way to kill him.

The acting is phenomenal, I swear Mew is doing things to my heart. The way she asked her mother, “don’t you care about me?” with unshed tears in her throat just got me in the stomach. I want to bring her home and give her a blanket and give her all the care in the world. Although, I sense she’ll be like thanks but no thanks. She doesn’t need my pity, she’s managed to survive so far. There is such a marked difference between tay her and in kiss me again. I swear I was so engrossed by his acting as this shy gang leader’s son who has managed to maintain his kindness and innocence but is still aware of what is going on in the world. He’s far less naive than both neo and mew think he is and I bet he’ll surprise them in the future.

However, I wished he said more than ten sentences per episode. I want more of him and I can’t help but feel that the drama kind keeps him separate from Neo and Mew. For example, I don’t see why he, neo and mew couldn’t go and buy a room. It felt very fake that he was deciding to wait outside. I mean, he would still enter the motel to sleep so why would he say he wanted to stay outside because he was not used to love hotels. It just felt like that existed so that neo and mew could be mistaken as a couple by the owner of the love hotel. Neo still hasn’t told Shin that he was sleeping with his stepmother and I am WAITING for when that happens. The drama that will happen is delicious.

What can I say about jennie that hasn’t been said. She’s is gorgeous and the calm anger she is displaying is killing me. The chemistry between Mae and Tur though is intense. That scene where he teaches her how to shoot got my heart beating so much that for a second I forgot the targets were our trouple. Please don’t die.

To close, I love this series so so much. I await the eng sub with eagerness and I finish unsatisfied. I keep on wishing that there was more: more shin, more mew, more neo, more mae. More screentime. Last but not least, that pregnancy scare they did at the checkpoint was masterful. My girl Mew used a water bottle to imitate water breaking. I died laughing. I’m really loving how well this drama mixes comedy with the dark material. With all of that au revoir guys. Till next week. Let’s just chant as we end: bisexual polyamorous throuple, no love triangle.

#3wbf #3 will be free #shinneomew #neomewshin #turmae #neo #shinneomiw #neomiwshin #thai drama #gosh I absolutely love how this series feel like it's happening in the real world #unlike many thai dramas which feel like they are happening in a fantasy land #and while those are fun #it means they don't deal with issues like sexuality #i'm just tired of gay for you stories #bisexuality exists #3wbf e3 #shin #mew

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alubanana · 5 years

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Mechon!Shulk AU Part 3

AKA the part where I headcanon

Also, I changed the color and name of Shulk’s mechon to blue and ‘Aqua Face’ simply because it fit him better

I legitimately cannot decide between that and Lapis Face please send help

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR XENOBLADE CHRONICLES AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL

There were two things that were needed to form a god.

First, gifts from the current ones. Zanza had unwittingly bestowed many gifts unto Shulk when he merged their souls. First, the power of foresight. The gift of choice, to allow him to walk the preordained path or carve one of his own. Secondarily, he’d given Shulk the ability to wield a Monado. Something only a godling such as Dunban could do, and even he could only hold it for so long before the ether took something more than his arm. Shulk could hold the Monado, he could wield it, could use it to control patterns of ether in the air. It was an incredible feat, one that was impossible by normal standards, but Zanza had merged himself with the boy’s soul, so he found it as unconcerning as the rest of the gifts he’d unwittingly stitched into Shulk’s Homs soul. Finally, Zanza had given Shulk the gift of life not once, but twice. It was enough for the boy to form his own consciousness, his own personality. It was what made him Homs. It was what started carving Shulk’s Monado piece by piece.

Meyneth’s gift was much smaller. Miniscule, compared to what Zanza had given, but still just as important. She had given Shulk the power of a will. For where there was a will there was a way. The impossible became possible and with Shulk, he could go even beyond that. He was special even without his slow transformation, the one to forge his own Monado with every step upon the path he carved out. Meyneth believed in him and thus, her own precautions were sent into motion. Her own piece of her soul - her own gift - embedding itself deep into Shulk’s beating heart. Away from Zanza’s prying eyes, where he could no longer interfere with what she had started.

The second thing needed in order to create a god was a host - willing or unwilling. Zanza and Meyneth had both carved their forms from flesh and blood when they’d first put together this world but since then, they had created and destroyed many would-be godlings. Dunban was one such godling, Egil another. Both of them were lucky to survive the gifts they’d been given being taken all so suddenly. The host was selected at random, someone worthy of being able to hold the unlimited power of creation. Shulk was anything but worthy, but he was there at the wrong place at the right time and therefore had been molded to become that way. He was a candidate well on his way to godhood, however accidental it was. And, for all the power over the future that Zanza possessed, he had not had to foresight to recognize his own blunder once it had been made.

Shulk first felt a push towards the Monado six months into his stay as a Faced Mechon. He’d regained all of the memories Egil had attempted to lock away and Vanea had agreed to keep it a secret. Shulk was a valuable asset, after all, and carried out missions silently and effectively despite everything he’d been taught as a child. Vanea, in return, kept him away from missions that she knew involved the Homs colonies and kept any knowledge of said colonies being attacked away from his ears.

Shulk was not allowed out his hangar when he was not on missions. Even less than that, he was not allowed out of his unit. He knew what would happen to him; the Mechon was the only thing keeping him alive. If he left for longer than thirty minutes his body would certainly give up on him. No mystery presence would force his heart to beat with varying levels of ether. That much he knew for certain.

But the Monado called him. It beckoned him closer, asking for him. It seemed to sing, ether trailing down the corridors to where it led. However, every time Shulk blinked to make sure he wasn't seeing things, the cloud of blue dust had vanished, leaving the room just as empty as it was before. The pull tugged stronger every time. Stronger, stronger still. The urge to leave the cockpit wasn’t entirely Shulk’s own and grew with every ignored tug of the Monado’s presence. Perhaps it was the sword itself tugging, pulling, a silent wish upon still lips to come and free it from its prison. Come someday soon, Shulk would not be able to resist its call.

That someday soon came much sooner than he was expecting.

It was a yank, an absolutely definitive pull that finally drew Shulk from within the depths of his cockpit. He immediately felt weak, stomach churning and head spinning without the constant support of his unit. He forced himself to take a wary step forward, watching the glittering blue ether lead him away from the hangar. It did not dissipate when he blinked.

Shulk began to follow it.

The halls were empty. There was a distant hum of machinery, of clanks and moans of metal being bent into shapes it was not supposed to go. That was how the Faces were made, after all. Metal melted down to its most vulnerable and then shaped and created to house a living component. Made to use Homs as its motherboard and blood as its circuits. It was the purest form that Shulk - a mechanic at heart - could break it down to understand.

Shulk trodded down the hallway. His metallic feet clicked ominously, echoing loudly down the corridor. He kept his eyes downcast lest he run into anyone, fixed firmly upon the blue ether-like dust leading him further and further into the depths of the fortress. Should anyone catch him, he’d be expelled back to his unit and checked to find issues. He could only hope Vanea would be merciful and allow him to keep his memories of Reyn and Fiora that he’d already been so careless as to forget once.

He pressed his back to the wall, pausing with bated breath to await any form of security Mechon on their way to his position. He was, after all, breaking every rule in the book to chase after a weapon that was not his own. But the tug inside of him - that voice he’d had his entire life that occurred to him might not have been as normal as he’d been telling himself - urged him to go after the Monado. To claim what had been his for all of thirty minutes before he’d died, spearheaded upon Metal Face’s claws.

The hallways were still empty despite Shulk’s deeply-rooted anxiety. He felt like an intruder, a lamb within a pack of wolves. He was the one at risk of losing everything here.

Well, Shulk thought grimly, darting across the hallway. The Monado’s blue ether wrapped around him like a cloud. Even if I succeed, I’ll be breaking enough rules to warrant me to be scrapped and remade so let’s just hope I’ve got somewhere to hide it.

The blue either coiled around his waist and tugged, lassoing around Shulk’s hips and yanking. A whine, a silent plea, and Shulk continued down the hallway.

It was all so bare. Why was it bare? This was the Mechon’s greatest stronghold aside from the Central Factory. It was a place where there should be patrols at every corner, a security unit for the security unit, and maybe one extra as a precaution. And yet, there was nothing but quiet whispers of machinery, the distant hum of the blast furnace hard at work.

The ether curled and tugged, snaking around Shulk’s legs and guiding him ever forward. Shulk dearly hoped Egil was not nearby as of today - he would be much less merciful with his punishment should he be the one to find Shulk. Likely, he’d be scrapped and remade and he wasn’t sure that the mysterious presence that had kept him alive could do it a second time.

Shulk turned another corner, awkwardly sprinting across the open hallway to duck into safety once more. He was hidden from the search beams of the security Mechon here, but yet there was still none to be seen. The halls were empty. The corridors were still. Why?

The Monado’s presence was - for lack of a better word - louder in the back of Shulk’s head. Although, he could have chalked it up to his systems finally beginning to fail and his body finally shutting down after being forcibly reconfigured to be a Mechon Central Nerve Unit, but Shulk was choosing to ignore that. He blinked away the darkness that crept at the edges of his vision, his mental clock informing him he had about fifteen minutes to return to his unit before every organ in his body shut down simultaneously.

He was so close though. He could practically taste the ether in the air, growing more and more potent. He felt oddly excited, the prospect of having a familiar weapon in an unfamiliar hand was oddly comforting.

Shulk stepped in front of a door and scanned his palm to open it. The ether pooled around it in waves, making Shulk dizzy.

Ether, like most things, was just as odd as the rest of the world. Too much could kill you; too little could kill you. What a strange concept. Shulk often wondered if it were alive; the way that it curled around him in a shroud, pulling him closer to the Monado only served to make that prospect stronger.

The door hissed open. It was the armory. He had no idea what a weapon as powerful as the Monado was doing in a simple armory amidst dull swords and maces, but he wasn’t going to complain about its easily accessible location. He took another step of the room and stumbled, suddenly overwhelmingly dizzy. The ether presence in this room was high - almost dangerously so. It clouded his thoughts, his judgment. His entire mindset remained focused on the Monado.

He took another unsteady step towards the swords, spotting a sleek red handle among the dull silver ones. He reached out towards it, fingers scraping across the edges as a rush of adrenaline shocked through him. It felt somehow...right for him to be holding the sword. He’d only had it for thirty minutes before he’d taken the blow meant for Fiora - how was it that the handle fit so well into the palm of his metal hand? It had been molded and reshaped and he wasn’t even sure there was skin underneath the deep blue metal.

How odd...

Shulk turned, Monado in hand, and scampered back to the hangar. Climbing back into his unit was almost like a godsend, feeling the Mechon stabilize his vitals and keep his organs pumping faithfully. His blood merged with Aqua Face - they became one and Shulk remained alive for now. He turned his head, headset bumping against the wall in his small pocket, and observed the Monado that had made itself scarce against the wall of the cockpit. It barely even fit and the blade pressed against Shulk’s legs, but as long as it didn’t activate, he should be safe.

After all, the Monado could not harm people.

Even half-machines.

Part One Part Two Part Three

#xenoblade chronicles #xenoblade #shulk #mechon!shulk au #zanza #xenoblade spoilers #chocodoesthewriting #eeh im not too proud of this part but whatever #Fanfiction #Xenoblade AU #meyneth #aqua face or lapis face??? hmmm

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