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lady-mimis · 5 months

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I WISH YOU WOULD - BATMAN

Summary: Where your relationship with Bruce didn't end up well but you still love him

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes that might be on the text

Notes: Hey guys! I'm back with an imagine of my favorite hero. I stopped to write for nnt, but I still have some imagines ready so I will post eventually. For me Bruce is such a dads girl. This took me a long time, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Violence and language

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"Mommy?" Your daughter called you. You were working on your laptop while your daughter was watching TV.

Tim and Damian asked for your help in some kind of security program they developed, so you were just reviewing and improving the system

"Yeah baby? what's wrong?" You stop typing and look at her.

She was hugging her giraffe plush. It was a gift from her dad. She is such a daddy's girl

"I was wondering..... if you could tell me about you and daddy?" She ask curiously with those big blue, bright eyes

The question took you by surprise. She is still a curious kid, of course, but you wonder why she wants to know it now

She was a copy of her father, except that she has some of your features. Its funny how you waited nine months for your baby to be born with her fathers features

"Hmm, what do you wanna know? Can i ask why the sudden interest?" You asked your baby daughter, then sat beside her on the couch, putting a cushion in your lap

"I want to know how you two met each other, I mean you two are not together anymore but you were one day, right?" She questioned you with an innocence that you felt your heart shake a little.

Thinking about how she feels with her parents not being together. You remember once she was saying something about all of her friends having parents who are married and live together. Of course, you tried to explain that your situation is not so simple, but she was just a kid and couldn't understand anything

"Yeah, darling well.... I met your father at work, he was my boss"

You revive everything in your head

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"Good morning, Lucius! I brought some coffee for us" You entered the laboratory, greeting your coworker and put your bag on your table

You worked for Wayne Enterprises and were responsible for the technology that Batman held since the company funded him and his equipment

You were working on a motorcycle for Batman since he asked for

This project was a direct order from your boss, Bruce Wayne. You had never meet him, he was always busy being a playboy

Lucius was the vice president of the company, so he had a lot of work to do. You impressed with how he would help you and find time to be a businessman

"I'm glad you're here, today we have a lot of work" He thanks you for the coffee

After hours in the laboratory, you get ready to leave

"Hey baby let's talk please, don't dare ignore me again!" An unknown number sent you a message, but you already knew who it was

"Answer bitch!" Again

"I need you baby! I can't live without you!"

Your ex boyfriend calls you, but you refuse the call

How did he find your new number? You were angry about him harassing you since you two broke up

"Stop calling me! we broke up. Stop it" Sighing deeply, you reply

"You're okay?" Lucius asks you curiously, raising his eyebrows

"I'm just tired, you know, Matthew has been kind of asshole and... " You fake a smile for him not worry about you

You stop your commentary after hearing the voice of the artificial intelligence of the laboratory announce someone

"Access confirmed. Welcome, Bruce Wayne" The AI greets him

"Bruce, what a pleasure! (Y/N) this is Bruce" Lucius introduce you to him. He is excited for Bruce to finally meet you

Well, you have to admit that he is not only handsome. Bruce Wayne is hot as hell

He looked at you, head to toe and licked his lips. He smiles to you with an arrogant smile and offers his hand for you to shake

What a skirt chaser!

"Enchanted to meet you" You shake his big, rough hands. He looks around, analyzing the lab

Bruce Wayne has an elegant posture. He was wearing a black, expensive suit, probably tailored just for him. This suit must have cost all of your salary

He walks through the lab with a confident posture, analyzing everything around him

"So you're the one who made the Batmobile upgrades" He states uninterested

Okay, you were not hoping for him to know that

"Yeah, it's me. I'm working on the motorcycle project too" You said proudly, pointing to the prototype that was in the center of the lab

Adjusting your white coat, you grab the sketches of the project in your pocket

"Well, I see you're doing good. Have you already made any tests?" He looks satisfied with the prototype

"Not yet, still working on the motor " You give him the sketches, then point at the motor sketch

"it looks excellent! I'm really impressed. Now I know why Lucius trusts so much in your work" He smiled charmingly, winking at you

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. Is he really like this?

"Thank you.... I think" Looking at your watch, checking the hours

"I better go. It's starting to get dark" You grab your things and walk to the door

"Take care (Y/N)!" Lucius bids you farewell

"It was lovely to meet you (Y/N), I hope to see you again" Bruce gave a head nod

"Wait (Y/N)!" Bruce calls you, making you stop and stare him, raising an eyebrow at him

"What you think about a dinner?" Bruce asks with a cocky smile, and you find it charming, but no way you're going on a date with him. That could work with other women, but not with you

Bruce asked you out the first day he met you! HE WAS TRULY A WOMANIZER LIKE THE NEWS SAYS

You had recently broken up so you were not thinking about a relationship at that moment

"Thanks but no" You fake a sorrowful look and then smile, winking, teasing him

You leave to your house before gets too dark

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That night, you were watching TV on your couch. It was almost midnight

You heard a car stop by the front of your house and assumed that it was one of your neighbors

"Where are you? I'm here. Let's talk " he typed

Okay, you're starting to get scared

You walk towards the window, seeing his car in front of your house

"No! Leave!" You reply in panic

"Baby, open the door!" He knocks on the door, gently at first but then harder

"Leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you!" You say it loud enough for him to hear it

"Open the fucking door!" A strong knock. He was beating the door, and in a little time he would open it

You grabbed your phone and ran to your room, calling the police. You close the door of your room, hiding yourself in your closet

Tears were all over your face

"911, what's your emergency?" The policeman asked by phone

"My ex boyfriend.... is trying to enter my home and i ...... " A loud thud echos through the house. He entered in your home

"He's here, please help me!" You whisper, crying in despair

You passed your address to him

"We are sending the police, stay hidden until the police come, please stay in the line"

You could hear him on the underfloor, looking for you

"Baby, let's talk. You know how much i love you!" He always said this

"I can't live without you, you're so good for me, I will kill myself if you don't show up. IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!!" He screamed with angry

He was coming closer, and you knew that the police would not make in time

"Let's just talk, babe, we can fix this. I CAN FIX THIS!" His voice echoed behind the door as he tried to get into the room

He was kicking the door, and you knew how the material would not resist

"We can comeback together, it's just show up and say yes!" He broke in

He was close, and you could see his shadow through the door of the closet

He has a knife with him

You knew he had found you. He was walking toward the closet

"I don't want to talk to you! LEAVE ME ALONE! I FUCKING HATE YOU, WHY YOU DOING THIS TO ME??" Screaming stunned

When he stops by the closet door, something caught him by surprise and he falls to the floor

A shadow figure was in top of him

The shadow figure knocks out your ex boyfriend

"It's safe now, you can get out of there" A male deep voice spoke, it sounded almost robotic, maybe it was some kind of voice modification

You got out of the closet, and you stared at your unconscious ex

That shadow figure was standing by the side of your ex's damaged body

Then you saw your hero, Batman.

"I..." You could not say a single phrase without sobbing

He stayed there till police siren sounds could be heard, then he just disappears

Batman had saved you that night, if wasn't for him, probably you would not be alive. You were grateful to Batman

You're remembered that night all too well, it was a complete nightmare

------------------------------------------------------------

The next day after the incident you were given the day off by Lucius.

You stayed at your sister place until you found a new place for you

You had to comeback to your work, everything was so stressful and worst Bruce keep showing up and continue flerting with you

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You were on the park lot alone, fetching your car keys, and you feel a presence behind you

You froze

Someone put a hand on your shoulder

"Hey, you alright?" Bruce Wayne ask in a worried tone

You felt so relieved to see it was just him

"Yes, i just got scared, you simply didn't make any walking sounds" You observe him, and take a deep breath

"Oh, i'm sorry about that.. what do you say about dinner as sorry?" Bruce offered, scratching his throat, making a slight frown, and put his hands on his pocket, trying to hide his nervous

That's new, he was always too confident and cocky. Now he just look like a normal guy

So you decide to be honest

"Look, Bruce i will be honest with you, I recently broke up. It's been hard times for me, i am not looking for a date at the moment" You look at him with soft eyes, denying his offer gently

That made Bruce nod in knowledge and look at the floor for a moment. He admired your honesty

"Well... that doesn't mean we can't be friends" Still not convinced he waits for your response

Friends? WITH BRUCE WAYNE? That was a good joke, but he seemed serious about it

With everything that has been happening, maybe you need to relax. You didn't have many friends. All of your friends live in other towns. So why not?

"Hmm.. fine we can dinner together as friends" You hesitantly accept looking at his ocean blue eyes. Somehow, his eyes pass you peace and truth

"Friends then" He smirked and offered his arm to you, guiding you to his car

It was a great night. Nice jokes and good food

That has become a tradition between you and Bruce since that day. You get to know Bruce better and overcome your prejudices about him

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You could say that you had a soft spot for Bruce

You even met his first kid.

It was a surprise when he told you about Dick. You had never thought about Bruce being a single dad.

You tried help him with his dads duties but he always declined your help. Even with his interventions, you continued to help him to raise Dick

You remember telling Bruce to go easier with Dick

And finally, he opened up with you, asking advice on how to improve to be a good dad for Dick

Dick was a nice kid but had a sad story. He always used to tell you how Bruce was hard on him and how he wanted some freedom

So sometimes you would take him to do things that a normal kid would do

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When you found out about Batmans identity, you freaked out

You were working on the maintenance of the security of the labs

Everything there was powerful and presented some danger. So the technology couldn't end up in the wrong hands

The access was only permitted if the people had registered fingerprint and eye identification

You noted that Bruce and Batman had the same fingerprint and eye identification.

He had saved you that night

When he entered the lab, you embrace him so tightly

All you could say was "thank you" sobbing

Bruce got very confused and worried about you

After a few moments he connected the pieces

He asked you to work only for him in his cave and his Batlab, as you called it

You accepted Bruces offer to work for him.

Most of the time, you would work with him or Alfred on the projects. Alfred always commented to you about how you and Bruce were a good duo

Alfred told you, you were the first person that Bruce let into his life. How was he different after you

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You had been friends with Bruce for almost two years

You were at the annual Wayne gala

Bruce had invited you personally and told you how much Jason insisted on your presence. Bruce had recently adopted Jason since Dick left for Jump City

Of course, you didn't approve the kids being his sidekicks. It was not ideal for them, but that was the form they found to let go of the fury and anger they felt inside. Bruce knew it better like no one

Jason was a tough kid, but all he wanted was Bruce's attention. Yet Bruce would be more hard on Jason than he has been with Dick

Jason had a hard life, and even being tough he was still a kid. All he needed was love and kindness. So you did what Bruce didn't. You helped him with everything, homework, patching him, you both played video game together

You taught him everything you knew, how to cook, how to hack, how to make analysis, how to program and more.

"(Y/N) You heard me?" Jason poked you but you couldn't take your eyes of Bruce

Bruce is the host of the party,and of course there will be people around him but you can't avoid to feel jealous at the surrounding women

Bruce was talking with a blonde beautiful woman for a long time

"Sorry jay, what were you saying?" You give him a soft look, messing with his hair

"Its about the new ship you are working, I liked the design its so badass" He said, excited about this project.

Jason was your little assistant in the Batlab

You nod, smiling and keep talking with him until Alfred interruption

"Sorry to interrupt you, Miss (Y/N), but I believe its time for Master Jason go to bed" Alfred explained and put a hand on Jasons shoulders

"Can (Y/N) put me to bed?" Jason asks in a low tone, looking at you with pleading eyes

How cute, your heart melt away with that. How can you say no to him?

Alfred looks to you, waiting your response

"Don't worry, Alfred, I don't care doing it" You shrug, guiding Jason to his room

You were both in his room. His room was all decorated with cream and red tones. The room has some posters of some old popular cartoons you both watch together, and some action figures on the shelf on the wall where the writing desk is. Some books you had gave him as gifts are on top of the desk

He was laying on bed, and you covered him with the red blankets

"Do you think you can sleep with that music?" You ask, fixing the blankets so he could be warm

"Yes, it's not that loud from here" Jason makes himself comfortable

"Thanks (Y/N), it makes me feel home" Jason smile to you, the mix of blue and green of his shining eyes makes he looks so innocent

He was looking at you like you were his whole world

"Good night Jay, I'll see you tomorrow after school in the Batcave" You kiss his forehead and turn off the lights

You lead to the door, ready to leave

"Good night, mom" Jason whispered sleepy

OH MY DID HE JUST CALLED YOU MOM? You stop, stunned in front of the door, felling a mix of emotions

When you got out, Bruce was standing there like a ghost

"Ohh! You scared me! Stop showing up out of nowhere" You raise your hand to your chest, breathing heavily

"You didn't need to do it" Bruce crossed his arms seriously, taking a look at Jason's asleep form

Bruce was in front of you, blocking your passage back to the party. His huge form was hovering you

"I wanted to do it, Bruce" You state, putting your hand on his chest to get him out of your way, but he does't move

So you raise an eyebrow to him. What was he doing? Trying to intimidate you or whatever?

"I thought you would pass the night talking with that blonde woman?" You comment. Maybe a little too rude

You perceive the frown on his lips and how his eyebrows grew closer

"As the host, I have to talk with the guests" He narrows his gaze to you. You hate when he does it

He unblocked the passage, still staring you

You turn back to the party, ignoring his stare

After that, you felt frustrated and resolved to drink to drown your sorrows

At the end of the night, you were a little drunk....okay, so much drunk that your voice was nasal and you were hiccuping

That time, Bruce was chatting with a beautiful brunette woman, and she put her hand on his chest. Okay, that's enough. The jealousy made your face turn red and warm.

You roll your eyes, ready to leave the party.

Bruce was so stupid, why do you care about the women around him? You are nothing to him, just a friend. You hated that feeling, you hate how Bruce makes you feel stupid

You were leaving, but an arm grabbed your hand, stopping you. In the movement to turn around, you stumbled on your feet.

The arms hold you by the waist so you don't fall

"I got you" Bruce is the one helping you. His arms are so big and warm

"What you're doing? leave me... hic.. Bruce" You tell him, trying to get out of his hold while he leads you to the manor

"I'm not gonna let you leave alone in this state. You're drunk (Y/N)" Bruce keeps his hold on you, until you are in his room

"It's your fault, when you were talking with those hotties, I was... hic...drinking by myself" You say with a joking tone and get out of his hold to sit at his bed

"Are you jealous (Y/N)?" Bruce asks, having fun with the situation

"NO! nrgh!" You sink your head into his pillow

"So do you care to share why you are so drunk? We both know you do not drink like that" He asked curiously, looking at you with those beautiful eyes

"Just to shut out... hic.. my emotions. Its was... hic...so loud" You said, snorting with your nasal voice

Bruce chuckles at your comment and leans himself on the wall

"You know you can tell me, right?" Bruce crossed his arms, but his voice sounded soft

"Right, I just disappointed...hic.. that you didn't have any time for me just because you were talking..hic... with your hotties. We are friends, right?" Whispering the last part.

Who were you trying to convince? You or him? You were already over heels for him

Bruce just raised an eyebrow for you, he knew you, and the fact that you just lied to him

"Tell me (Y/N) what really happened for you to get that drunk?" He came closer and stopped in front of you, analyzing you

He is curious, you are not the heavy drinker type. To be honest, he never saw you so drunk as tonight

It was dark in the room, just the moonlight light it. Bruce eyes shone intensely in the dark of the room, his eyes look like the ocean

"You happen, Bruce, I cant keep pretending that i don't feel nothing for you" Your voice is so low that you barely hear it

Nervousness ruins through your body. You start to roll your rings on your fingers.

"Pardon me?" Bruce says confused

He doubts that he heard what you said. He shifts his weight, trying to stay calm. Probably you are just too drunk and were babbling

So you decide to speak out loud

"Damn it! I was so jealous, you can have any woman in your arms anytime you want! I hate see you with another woman, and how I'm not the one in your arms. Your stupid blue ocean eyes that hypnotize me..." Bruce interrupts your sentence and kisses you with desire

"You're the one that I want. The one who has my heart. (Y/N), you don't have to worry about the others women" Bruce cups your face and rubs your cheeks, pecking your lips

He let go of you and stepped back smirking at your shock form

"Okay Bruce now you got me! You always found a ... hic.. way to shock me" You toss yourself in his bed, and your nasal giggles fill the lifeless room

"Well? what can i do? I have been waiting since the day we met for you to realize the great eligible bachelor that I am" His crooked smile makes you laugh hard

"Tsc, you're to cocky, hic.. that time you were the biggest womanizer of the whole country" You state, and hear his laugh echo in the room

Bruce chuckles at your state the bed, your cheeks are red from drinking, and your hair is a little messy, but he finds it cute. You are a sloppy, happy drunk.

How you love his laugh, his smile, and his beautiful eyes. You love everything about him. Okay, sometimes he's a pain in the ass, but still you love him

Then he walks to the door without making any sound

"I should let you rest" Bruce says, opening the door

"Can't you stay?" You watch him hesitantly stop in the front of the door

"Pleasee?..hic" You plead

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At first, your relationship was wonderful. Bruce was a caring boyfriend and a good partner

Then Jason died

You were completely broken

You loved him so much. The pain was unbearable

Bruce was dealing with his grief on his own. You knew how he blamed himself for Jason's death. He felt regret for being so hard on Jason

You hated how Bruce closed himself off from you

Everything has changed

Bruce was cold, quiet and reserved

Bruce was not the same person you used to know

The fights started

Time passed, and you two had to move on

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When you discovered about Damian's existence. You felt devastated, mostly because Bruce didn't plan to tell you

It was a shock for you when you found a boy who looked like Bruce in the living room

He was just seven years old. About the time you and Bruce started to date

The fights started all over

You were in the batcave. Where you help Bruce with the technology and projects he and you create

"What hell Bruce? Is that kid really your son?" Inhaling deep. You couldn't stop the shake of your hands

God, you were so nervous

You already knew the answer, but you need a explanation

Bruce just murmurs in response

"That's not even an answer, Bruce!" You state, tapping nervously your foots on the floor

"Do you have a son with another woman? I suppose you know who is his mother?" You wait for him to respond decently

You were standing by his side while he didn't even bother to glance you

"His mother is Thalia Alghul" Bruce shrugged it off, like that was nothing

Did he already know about the existence of this child?

"Bruce, look at me for a second! You cannot give a shit about this, but I do!" You shout, trembling

"Bruce! Did you already know about the existence of this kid?" Your voice wavers and the tears rush down your face

You felt betrayed

This time, Bruce slightly shivered and narrowed his eyes, analyzing you. Probably he was thinking you were out of control

Bruce was thinking of a response to calm you, but he couldn't find it, so he stayed in silence.

The silence was the worst answer he could give you. You know how right you were about your suspicious

"ANSWER ME, BRUCE! DID YOU EVEN PLAN TO TELL ME?" Pointing a finger at his chest, accusing him

Bruce gets defensive when you shout at him

"That's none of your business, (Y/N)" Bruce shouts back feeling attacked. Maybe it was, but he didn't think of that because he is too proud

"IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS, OKAY MR WAYNE, THEN IF THAT'S NOT MY BUSINESS, WE SHOULD NOT BE TOGETHER SINCE MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND HAS A CHILD WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND NEVER PLANNED TO TELL ME ONE FUCKING THING ABOUT IT" You snap with anger. You shed tears like a crying baby

You felt terrible, weak, and disrespected.

The shouts echo through the cave

He was supposed to trust you, right?

There was a time you two were best friends and told each other everything, even the most silly thing in the world. You were a good duo, you were always partners

But the things changed

The love that was pacific became heavy and cold

What you and Bruce had become?

The sound of your cries attracted Tim's attention

"Hey mom! you're okay?" Tim asks gently, giving Bruce a disapproving look

"I.... just need to rest" You take a deep breath, accepting Tim help

You stare Bruce with watery eyes. You waited for him to say something

He stares at you with a blank expression

"Takes your mother to her room" That's the only thing Bruce says before turning back, walking to another part of the cavern

Bruce simply turned his back to you

It means nothing to him anymore. He didn't fight for you two

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The situation became more difficult because Damian disliked you

He thought his father should be with his mother, not someone like you. His words were sharp like a knife

To be honest, you thought the same thing. You are rich like Bruce, you two had different lifestyles. Two completely different world

In all of these years he never cared to propose to you. Did he ever think of having a future with you?

You started to question yourself after almost six years together

The day you finally decide to leave

You were sick, having nausea, dizziness and vomiting

Alfred realized that and advised you to go to the doctor

You took a few exams

In the same week, Damian got sick. He was in bed, shaking with fever. You were so worried about him

You checked up on Damian sometimes, even with his sharp comments about you or how he disliked you

He was just a kid who was created with a rigid education. He had a hard personality. You couldn't totally blame him

Alfred asked you to give Damian some soup for dinner. You agreed and went upstairs with the soup

"Hey Damian i brought some soup for you" You knock on his door before entering his room

"Tsc you can leave it here" He said with a tedious tone of voice

"Hmm do you need help to eat?" You ask, leaving the bowl on his expensive white nightstand

"No! Leave!" Damian says annoyed by your presence. Okay he didn't seem to be on a good day

Still, he doesn't have the strength to get out of the bed or eat alone

"But... Alfred helped you eat the meals, right? I could help you if you want" You tried one more time

"Don't you understand? I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP" Damian shouts aggressively, he tries to pick up the bowl but ends up toppling it

You look at him in shock

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you" You say in a low tone, holding back your tears

You leave Damian's room quickly and walk towards your room

You couldn't take it anymore. You are unhappy, sick and tired

You were in your room. The room you and Bruce shared together one day

You grabbed your bags and started to pick up your things

"What you're doing?" Bruce's voice surprised you. He was downstairs the last time you saw him

"I'm leaving, Bruce" You didn't hold back your tears. The tears rush freely in your face

Bruce felt his heartbeat skip when he heard what you said. You cannot be serious

"I don't understand..". Bruce comes closer to you, trying to understand why you were doing this

You stop to pick up your things to look at him

He is in shock, and even with his facade, you learn to see through it

"No! I know you don't, Bruce! You don't even realize whats happening around you" You snap angrily

"What? you cannot do that (Y/N)!" Bruce tries to change your mind, arguing with you, but you have already decide

"WHY NOT BRUCE? YOUR SON HATES ME! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US ANYMORE" You are so close to him but yet so far away. Giving a pleading look for him, you shake your head in deny

"Damian is just a kid..." Bruce answered back facing you.

You could swear that you saw a few of emotion on his eyes

"FUCK IT! WHAT ABOUT US BRUCE? DIDN'T YOU EVEN REALIZE THAT I AM SICK THE WHOLE WEEK? DID YOU EVER PLAN TO PROPOSE TO ME ONE DAY?" You screamed with agony, feeling your throat dry

He could see how you were hurt and unhappy

Bruce avoid to look into yours eyes. Not a single word left his mouth

"Your silence answered everything. I hoped you would be honest with me considering all of these years, tsc you are really a dick" You curse, turning back to pick up the rest of your things

You grabbed your bags, and turned around, ready to leave.

You give Bruce a final look, pleading to him to do something, say something or fight for you

You hoped he would say something or ask you to stay, but he didn't

If he had asked you to stay, you would

So you leave

Your words echo through to his head

Bruce's heart stops when he sees that you are really leaving, but he can't move

Maybe that was better for you. Maybe it was better for you to live without him always disappointing you

Bruce stays in silence, watching you leave

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You were completely heartbroken after the break up. You moved to your old apartment

Everything looked so empty, it was so strange to live there all alone.

You miss the kids, the noise of the manor, Alfred astute comments, and more... You miss Bruce

You and your sister went to the hospital to get your exam results

You remember all too well

In the doctor's office, sitting in a chair, waiting for the doctor to say the results of your exam

"Well, miss (Y/N), the results are not satisfying, but i have good news you might like" Isla gave you a sympathetic look and read some documents

"So I prefer the good news first, doc" You tried to sound optimist

You looked like crap, and you knew it. The last week had been so lonely. Tim and Alfred passed by your apartment to check on you, but it wasn't the same thing

"You are pregnant, congratulations (Y/N)!" She gave you the news

Your face goes blank

"(Y/N)? You alright?" Isla asked with worry in her eyes

"Yes... I think, I was not hoping for that, Isla" You explained, trying to calm yourself

She wrote something on her computer

"Right, but you have anemia, and this isnt good for you and the baby. It might bring you problems if you don't start to treat it. So you will have an obstetrician consult and I will accompany you with the anemia treatment, okay?" Isla smiles, handing the results to you

"You might consider to consulting a psychologist too, you don't look so well, it will make you good. Take care of your mind health" Her voice was kind, and you knew how she was right. You were a complete mess

"I will prescribe you some medicine" Isla catches the pen on her table and starts to fill out some papers

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When you got the results of the exams you couldn't believe it. You are Pregnant

"So? Whats got you so sick?" Your sister gives you a concerned look, as she come closer to you

"I.. cant believe it" You hand her the papers, still in shock

"OH MY! I going to be an aunt!" She is excited about the news

"That's not so bad, you just have to treat yourself" She tries to cheer you up

"Oh no. Why are you crying?" She embraced you while you cried. You were so hurt. It was so much for you

...

You had been consulting the obstetriciann, and everything was okay with your baby. You discovered you preganant for 3 months

Your sister were sleeping in your place to help you with the pregnancy

Your sister went out to some cheap club with her friends

You wake up to drink some water. Your throat was dry

You heard some steps behind you, so you stay alert

"Who's here?" You turn around to see it was Batman

Bruce was standing right in front of you, after all of those weeks

You relaxed since you're not in danger

"You know you could enter from the door like a normal person" You comment, rolling your eyes

He observed the place and looked at you head to toe

His presence is annoying you. Still, you could tell that his presence made heart beat faster

"What do you want?" You ask, breathing deep

"What is that (Y/N)?" He took some papers off his utility belt and shook them in front of your face. It was your exams

"Are you stalking me? Who gives you the right to pry your nose into my life?" You took the papers out of his hands

"Its not of your business Mr Wayne!" Your harsh look makes him shrugs

He was with his cowl, his blank eyes were observing you through the mask

"Not my business? It's my child!" He stated, with a frown on his lips

"I'm not going to repeat myself again. What are you doing here?" Walking closer to him, you could feel his scent. It felt stronger, maybe it was because of the pregnancy. How you miss him

Is he here to upset you more? To hurt your feelings again? You wish he could forget about you and leave you alone for a moment, since you two are not together anymore. But he always found a way to upset you

"The child... You cant have it!" He states in a deep, low tone

You could not believe him. His words were like a sharp knife in your heart

"What makes you think you can choose it? How cowardly are you, Bruce? hm?" You aggressively question him, pointing a finger at his chest, and staring him with fury in the eyes

"You cant have it! It's my child too!" He argues back, taking off his cowl. His blue eyes lost their shine. He looks tired, with dark circles around his eyes, his face is slightly skinnier

"WHY? YOU'RE JUST AFRAID CAUSE YOU CANNOT BE A GOOD FATHER TO ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN!" You know how to hurt him. Maybe it was too cruel to say it, but that was the truth

Bruce steps back with the comment, feeling hurt. You didn't like to hurt him but, he needs some sense

"Are you hearing yourself? Whats that Bruce? Why you doing this with me? don't you think you have made enough? Leave please! I don't want to see you anymore!" Pleading with watery eyes

His eyes wide, and the realization pass through his blue, tired eyes

What had he turn?

Indeed, He was afraid of not being a good father, but demanding those things from you was not right. He had no right to say those things to you

He broke you into pieces, and left you when you needed him

"I... sorry" Bruce whispered before leaving through the window

------------------------------------------------------------

The birth of your baby changed everything.

You were so surprised to see Bruce there to watch his daughters birth. At first, you were hesitant, but inside, you relieved

Bruce was watching your daughter sleep in your arms

"Look, I'm sorry for what i did to you. You didn't deserve that. I wasn't there when you needed me. Everything that I did upset you in a delicate moment" Bruce apologizes to you

His face full of regret makes you know that Bruce was being honest. He wasn't a man who expressed himself easily

"I want to be a good dad for her, let me help you. I want to be present in her life if you let me" Bruce held a sorrowful look

You had to make amends with him for your daughter sakes

------------------------------------------------------------

The kids and Alfred visited you in the maternity hospital

You were surprised that Damian was there to see you too

Dick, Tim, Jason, Your sister and Alfred are somewhere in the hospital, probably eating in the cafeteria

Bruce was taking a shower while you were arrested in that hospital bed, and Damian was staring at you with a doubtful look

"Hey kiddo, a penny for your thoughts?" You try a joke in a hesitant tone

"Tsc...What would I do with a penny? Anyway I have enough of money already" He says cockily

"Now you sound exactly like your dad" You giggle, having fun with his similarity with Bruce

He stayed quiet, still looking at you. This time, he was looking at you like a lost puppy

"You can say whats on your mind, dear" You look at him with soft eyes

He stared at you in shock. No one has ever called dear or been so soft with him like that

"Hm, I've been planning on how to apologize to you. I'm sorry its my fault that you left my dad" He apologizes in a low tone and avoids eye contact with you

"Hey dear, its not your fault. I didn't leave because of you" You sign for him to come closer

He hesitantly came closer, sitting at the end of the bed

"Any of the problems that i had with your dad weren't because of you. You're just a kid, any of this is your fault, Damian" You squeeze his hands

Damians face turns red, and he smiles slightly at you

"Since you're gone, my dad is so grumpy. No one can stand him anymore" Damian complained about his dad being a pain in the ass like you and Jason would say

------------------------------------------------------------

You really tried to move on, but the man didn't like the idea of dating a single mom

You swore to yourself that you would forget Bruce, but every time you were on a date you remember him.

What if everything was different? You wish it was

But life goes on

You left your work and opened your own workshop. You had your own laboratory and atelier to work on your engineering projects or whatever you would create

You moved to a bigger and safer house to live with your daughter

It has been like this for years

Now your baby is almost turning 6 years. She is your entire world. The biggest present you could ever have

You two were passing the time in the living room before her bedtime. You were working when she asked you about you and Bruce

You just told her how you two met

"Isn't daddys birthday coming?" She climbs into your lap

"Yeah, baby, it will be in three weeks" You caress her hair

"Daddy always looks at you like you are a diamond, mommy" She said, closing her eyes, enjoying the caress

"Hmm, baby lets take you bed"

------------------------------------------------------------

Talking about diamond

Bruce Wayne left the jewelry shop with a diamond engage ring. The Gotham prince has finally decided to settle down?, the news is on the screens

Maybe its for Selina? Maybe they had come back together?

"Hey (Y/N) you still there?" Barrys voice brought your attention back to the call

"Yeah, sorry about that... and no, your new suit is not read yet" You state, shaking your head, trying to forget the toughts about Bruce

"Hmm okay, isn't Bruce's birthday coming? Barry asked worried

"Why everyone keep asking me that? Yes, Barry his birthday is in three weeks" You say, annoyed by the question, grabbing your mug, starting to organize everything that is on your table

"Sorry, hahaha, I just didn't buy anything for him yet" He was having fun with your annoyance

"You don't need to worry about it, he's not a material man. He will like anything you give to him, you know" You organized the things, and fetched your car keys in your purse

"Sorry Barry, but i got to pick up my baby from school!" You say it in a rush tone

"Right, bye (Y/N)! Tell Gennie that Uncle Barry sent her a big bear hug"

You couldn't help but laugh

"You bet Barry!" You hung up

------------------------------------------------------------

"Mommy, can we eat ice creamy as dessert??"

You stopped on the mall to eat lunch and shopping with her

"Sure baby, let me just take another photo of you, you're so cute in this uniform" She was just the most adorable thing you have ever seen in her school uniform

She was in kindergarten, and Gotham Academy was a very secure and good school. Evangeline was even learning spanish and french

You pass in front of a decor shop. Once you had been there with Bruce

"I still cant believe you're serious" Bruce stares at you incredulous

"Why not? If i moving to live with you, lets just pretend that we are moving together and shopping new decor to our room" Smiling excitedly to him

"Alright! But nothing too colorful!" He surrenders

"NO WAY! I NOT LETTING YOU WITH THAT DREADFUL ROOM!" You say it loudly, and put one yellow duvet in the cart shop

Yellow was definitely your favorite color

"You need some color in your life, honey" You hold another duvet, but this time a yellow neon with purple leopard print

Bruce couldn't help but frown at that

You graciously laugh, catching his attention

"Whats so funny?" He asked crossing his arms with a grimace on his face

"You look so cute doing this face. Did you know you pout?" You pecked his lips

Bruce facades are gone with that. He holds you with his strong arms

"What? I do not pout!" You felt his breath in the back of your neck, he was laughing

"Mommy!!" Your baby girl shakes you, and you realize that you were standing there for a while

"Oh baby, i'm so sorry" You felt a little stupid to still think about Bruce even after all of this time

"I want ice creamy, and suddenly you stop in front of the decor shop. They don't sell ice creamy" She was pouting exactly like her father

"Tsc, You look exactly like your dad. I cant believe it." You say annoyed, shaking your head in deny

"What? My dad?" She had a curious look

"Lets get you your ice cream, baby!" You ignored and, she seemed to forget that you talked about her dad

------------------------------------------------------------

"Thank you!" You told the waiter

"Is it of your liking mini chef?" You ask, taking a sip of your milkshake

"Its yummy, mommy! but I think that if they put a handmade ice creamy, it would be more good"

"Why do you say that mini chef?" You lick your lips

"The industry ice creamy has so much sugar. Nothing its like Alfred's handmade ice creamy" She said, enjoying her ice creamy

"Well, with all the odds, you almost over with your milk shake" You state humored, laughing at her dirty milkshake cheeks

"Its still very yummy..." Shes was interrupted with screams

"What the fuck?" All you could do was protect your daughter from the danger

Some masquerade guys entered the place. They were high armed, and started shooting at everyone

------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh my! How terrified that girl must be. I know them. Her mother, she does some projects for me and the police force. You know, she is the mother of one of Bruce Waynes children, she created the other kids as well. I cant stop thinking that is one of the main reasons that the thieves got her and the kid" Gordon was the talking to someone on his cell phone when Batman showed up on the terrace of the building

What a terrible day. Bruce couldn't believe this was happening to him.

You and his baby were kidnapped, and he didn't find anything. He spent the whole day in front of the batcomputer searching for any trace of you.

All Bruce could feel was fury and fear. Fear to lose you two. Fear that he will never see you again. Fear that he could never say how sorry he is about messing up and how he was a dick with you. FEAR THAT HE COULD NEVER SAY AGAIN HOW HE STILL LOVE YOU

Bruce wishes he was a better man for you, he wishes things were different from the now on circumstances

Maybe its late for that. Maybe its too late to apologize

Bruce wished he never messed up with you. Maybe he wouldn't feel the regret filling his soul every moment since you gone

He wished you stayed, but it was so much for him to ask that of you

Maybe he was too proud. Maybe he already hoped that one moment you would leave him like everyone else did?

All he could do was watch you leave. It was for the best

At least you would not suffer anymore, and it would be safer for you. But God, that was the worst pain he felt in his life

What if he fought for you and him? He would give everything to come back in time. What if he asked you to stay? would you?

"Hey Batman, I assume that you already know the news?" Gordon hung up, looking at the man in the black suit. Batman seemed lost?

"Anyway, we need your help that Vick Vale don't stop calling looking for a scoop" He rolled his eyes, annoyed by the memory of the journalist

"The situation is that armed man entered in a fucking ice cream shop in the Gotham Mall and started shooting at innocent people and left with a single mother and a kid. We believe its a kidnap, and they are keeping they as hostage but they didn't call to her family asking for money though. In the worst case they might be... you know" He whispered the last part

"I wont let this happen! Not in my city!" Batman growls, making Gordon widen his eyes. He never saw Batman like this

"Any death?" Batman asked, holding his hands in fists, trying to calm himself

Gordon realized that Batmans body language indicated anger or better fury

"No, only injured people. Just five" Gordon said nervously

"Well, we talked to the people that were in the shop at that moment. They told us that they took the girl and the woman. The mother tried to fight, but there were many goons. One of them came behind her and hit her head to get her unconscious" Gordon told the statement of the people of the store

"Batman, I found one of them" Nightwing voice echos through the bug

"I'm on my way" Batman ansewered, and looks at Gordon giving him a nod, disappearing in the darkness of the night

------------------------------------------------------------

"I will only ask one time, Where are they?" He said it with threanteing tone

That mans face would be unrecognizable after that night

"I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T WORK FOR THEM. THEY JUST CAUGHT SOME OF US AND PAID TO DO THAT" He screamed, fearing for his life

A hard punch

"OUCHH! I SAID I DON'T KNOW NOTHING"

Batman punched that man until he spoke. Poor man

"Man, if you want some advice, you might start talking" Nightwing said from behind, watching the interrogatory batman style

"STOP! I WILL TELL YOU, OKAY? JUST STOP!" He screamed scared

Batman stopped waiting for him to say something useful

"THE GUYS SAID SOMETHING ABOUT JOKERS WANTED TO TAKE THEM AWAY FROM CITY, COUNTRYSIDE, OR OTHER CITY. SO THE BATMAN COULDN'T FIND THEM SO FAST. AS I KNOW HE HAS BEEN PLANNING THAT SINCE HE RAN AWAY FROM ARKHAM ASYLUM"

"WHERE IS HE?" Batman growls aggressive

"I DON'T KNOW"

"WHERE IS HE?" Batman punched him harder

"I SWEAR TO YOU I DON'T KNOW WHERE.... OHH STOP"

Batman felt the fury through his veins

"Batman stop! you gonna kill him!" Nightwing said, pushing him away from the beaten man

Batman stop and looks at his bloody gloves and the mans face.

"Hes still alive, call the cops"

------------------------------------------------------------

The mood at the manor was not one of the best. Everyone was worried about you and your daughter. The Batman was trying to find you, and all they had were the goon words

Its been a week since you two had been kidnap

Bruce was on batcomputer all night searching for some trace of you

"Bruce, you should have some rest. We can handle it" Dick said in a worried tone

"I'm okay, Dick" Bruce told him without a glance

Dick was about to say something, but the phone started to ring

Bruce got up quickly, picking up the call

"Hmmm, helloooo Brucieee!" The Joker voice

"Can you guess who it is ? hahahahah" He laugh maniacly

"Joker" Bruce murmured deeply, and sign to Dick start to track the call

"You right, Brucie, its me!"

Bruce wanted to yell at him for taking you and his daughter away from him, but he knew it was not appropriate

If he wanted to find you, he would have to stay on the line long enough to track where the call was coming

"Well, I have something that might be of your interest" He said humming

"What do you want, to give them back?" Bruce asked in an angry tone. He would do everything in his power to get you two back

"Just some money, you know the bank don't liberate loan for prisoners hum, hum what a prejudice, right?" He said it with irony

"How much? How much do you want?" Bruce asked, sinking his nails in his palm hand nervously

"If they are really important to you. You would not care if I asked you for 30 million dollars. I know you are a generous man" Joker said humored

"Right, you will have it. Let me talk to them, i need some proof that they are alive" Bruce required with authority

"Talk to your daddy, girl" Joker demanded

"Daddy? Is that you? I miss you. Uncle joker told me that you would come here soon, but its been a week" Evangeline's voice had an upset tone

Bruce felt relief for hearing the voice of his baby

"Yes baby, its daddy. Im coming for you soon. You just need to wait a little more" He told her in a soft tone, trying to comfort her

"Where is mommy? I miss her too" She asked in a crying voice

Bruce heart skipped a beat when he heard it. Were you not with her?

"That's enough. You heard your kid. She's very, very alive" He laughed at his own words

"What about my woman?" Bruce asked in a harsh tone

"Your woman? Well, Brucie, shes not one of your properties, we gentlemen don't talk about woman like this" The Joker scolded his words, not liking his tone

"And last time I checked, she was completely single. So no, shes not your woman, Brucie" Joker stated excitedly

"I must admit Brucie, you had a beautiful woman, her beauty really amazed me. If I had the chance, I would get her pregnant too. But what a shame, Brucie. How could you let go of a woman like that?" Joker let out a snort of disapproval

That fucker. Hearing Jokers words about you only made him angrier

"Fuck you, I want to talk with MY WOMAN" Bruce growled aggressively

"Bruce? Is it really you? Please tell me our daughter is safe...." The sound of your voice is one of fear, and then they shut you out

Dick gave him a thumbs up. He tracked where the call was coming

"We had enough idle talk. Send the bat with the money in 24 hours. Be in Gotham docks. I will be waiting for you. Don't be late Brucieee" The Joker hung up

"MOTHER FUCKER" Bruce yelled at the phone, throwing it on the floor

He would not let Joker kill someone he loved. Not again

"Master Bruce, don't let the emotions overwhelm your reason. Focus yourself in the search, the time is passing" Alfred adviced him

Alfred was right. He don't have much time. He has to find you

"Indeed, the call was coming from the docks" Dick said, marking the place on the map on the big screen that was showing some information about the investigation

"They have (Y/N) in another place. Shes is not with Evangeline. We have to find her quickly" Bruce told him in a serious tone

"Really Bruce? Did you realize that we spent the whole week searching for them and got nothing until Joker called? He planned everything so you couldn't find mom in time" Dick snapped with a frown

"We know they are far away from the city, It seems they are in the woods" Bruce told him with a narrow gaze

"What we gonna do?" Dick asked worried about you and his baby sister

One thought passed through Bruces mind

"Call Jason" Bruce demand

"Jason? Why do you think he will find it before us?" Dick has a big doubt in his face

"Tell him to look in the woods close to Gotham and Bludhaven. Even the borders" Bruce ignores his question

------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm not helping you. Im helping mom, old man" Jason stated through the bug

"Copy Jason. Just find your mom, please" Bruce pleaded him

"Don't worry, old man. I will bring her back to you. Just don't mess up again or I kill you" Jason told him before Tim shouted at him

"Jason, come take a look" Tim had found your purse. Your wallet was empty, and your mini mirror was broken

It means that they were on the right trail. They were close to Bludhaven Cemetery

------------------------------------------------------------

Batman, Robin and Nightwing were observing the place.

Joker goons were everywhere, and Joker was playing with his daughter

"Hmm kiddo, The time is passing, and your daddy still didn't show up to pick you up. Maybe he forgot about you" Joker pretended to be sad

"My daddy would never forget about me Uncle Joker. He's just late." Evangeline defends her father, pouting upset with his comment

Batman looks at Robin and Nightwing, signing to them to follow the plan

They knocked up the goons from the shadows

"Joker, Batman is here!" One of the goons told him

"I know, its part of the game. Hahahaha Hey, Evangeline, lets play hide and seek? " Joker asked and the girl agrees excitedly

"So, we both have to hide from the bat, and we win if he doesn't find us" Joker explains to the little girl

"And what if he find us?" She tilts her head, pouting in doubt

"We will make him a surprise" Joker told her excitedly, and grabbed the girl running from the shed

Nightwing and Robin were fighting with the goons

While Batman fight with other goons

"Go catch him, Batman. We can handle them" Nightwing shouts out

Batman runs in the same direction the Joker ran

"We found mom, B. They keep her trapped in Bludhaven Cemetery. They have just a few goons, but they are all high armed" Tim reported

"Don't die" Batman warns them in a harsh tone

"I'm the only one who got the permission to do that, old man" Jason jokes with irony

"This is not funny, Jason" Dick scolded him

"Actually it was" Damian chuckles, evilly

Batman silenced the bug

Batman was surrounded by sheds

Hearing the sounds of one of the sheds, he walked quietly towards it

An image projector was in the middle of the room

A video started to play

"Hey lady, How about you say goodbye to your family?" One tattooed man told you, holding your face

"Fuck you!" You spat at his face, trying to gel off his hold

"You bitch! I will teach you how to behave" He punched you hard in stomach

The record has a cut

You shows up beaten and all bloody on the screen

"Bruce, please save our daughter. Do not come after me. Take care of the kids and go easy on them. Do it for me... do it for us. Please be safe. I love you" You said goodbye for him

"No!" He cant stand the pain in his heart seeing you hurt like that

Batman got caught in a trap

a fishnet made of barbed wire trap him

"It seems like the bat is not that smart" Jokers voice echos through the loudspekears

"Lets take a look at your woman"

Your unconscious form appears on the screen. You were tied in a chair by ropes

"Hey batman! Are you seeing this beautiful woman here? She will explode in minutes, I hope you enjoy watching it" The tattooed goon said with a big grin on his face

A thud echoes in the background. Some gunshots

"What do you want Joker? Free her!" Batman growled at the clown

"What do I want, Bat? I want to play with you! You know, Ive been feeling lonely since you trapped me in Arkham Asylum again. I think it would be cool to gain some money and play a little with you! Isn't it funny?"

You were in the chapel of the Bludhaven Cemetery

"Shit! Red Hood and Red Robin are here, boss!" The tattooed goon shouts out to the camera

More shoots, and the door is cracked on the floor.

"What a terrific news!! It seems that the birds have come to join Mommy in her explosion!" Jokers laughed excitedly

The vigilantes appear on the screens, running towards you, unaware of the bomb or the camera

"Fuck! what they did to you, mom?" Jason whispered, cutting the ropes in your fists and ankles

"You know how Jason is my favorite Robin, don't you Bat?? He is going to die again because of you! Just because you sent him to search her! And poor Timmy! Hes just a teen that will blow up with his mother and brother HAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAH"

Jason held you tightly in his lap

"Everything will be okay mom"

Tim walked around the place they kept you arrested, and observed the chapel

"Jason are you hearing that?" Tim asked, looking in the direction of the beeps

"Until they found that I put a bomb there. Everything will blow up. BOOM!!!!" The joker laghed mischievous

"RUN" Jason shouts out

The bomb exploded

"NOOOOOO" Batman screamed

"AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

"The joke is on you BAT!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH"

"TICK TACK TICK TACK. Time is passing, you don't want to lose Evangeline too, right? Tick tack tick tack"

Batman heard sound of steps in the shed

"OH forget Bat! You did find us or we found you, whatever. HAHAHAHAHA" Joker entered in shed with a gun against Evangelines forehead

"Did you know how upset I was with you when I discovered about your girls? You didn't even bother to introduce them to me" Joker pretend to be hurt

Evangeline cries, hurting Bruce in his soul. All he wanted to do was protect her, but he couldn't

"Please let her go! I will give you whatever you want!" Batman pleaded in defeat

"HMM, What a interesting offer but I will pass Bat" He denies, smiling creepy

"I just want you to watch my grand finale" Joker would shoot in Evangeline head

Joker was about to pull the trigger when a blade was thrown into his hands making him drop the gun, and a stick hit hard in his spine

Joker screamed louder, falling on the floor

Robin walks close to the clown and holds him by his purple blouse collar

"Don't mess with my ummi, my sister or my family ever again, or I will kill you with my own hands" Robin kicked hard his spine

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH YOU'RE SO CUTE ROBIN HAHAAHAHAH" Joker laughed hard and louder with every beat

Robin was infuriated. Didn't he get hurt?

"That's enough Robin!" Batmans voice scolds him

Robin looked around, seeing Nightwing comforting his baby sister while Batman stood in the corner with crossed arms, watching Robin beat the Joker

With a final strike, Robin knocks the Joker out

------------------------------------------------------------

"When will mommy wake up?"

You open your eyes but shut them in pain. It felt like a truck had run over you

You moan in pain, trying to feel comfortable where you laid

You open your eyes slowly, trying to adjust with to the light

"Hey, she's waking up!" Jason warned everyone

Everyone shut up and come closer, looking at your dizzy form

"MOMMY!" Evangeline runs to you, hugging you tightly and you breathe deeply in pain

You felt relief to see everyone safe. You hold your daughter in your arms, making a grimace for your sons

"Go easy with her, Ginnie, shes bruised" Dick told her, chuckling at your grimace

The kids were all around you

Your daughter let go of you, leaving space for the other kids to talk with you

"I got really worried about you. I'm happy that you're awake mom" Dick smiles at you warmly, hugging you gently

You opened your mouth to answer, but your throat was dry. You only cough in answer.

Then Tim offers you a glass of water. You drank it

"Thank you Timmy. I was really thristy"

"Its good to see you mom" Tim hugs you quickly

"You scared me as hell, i love you mom" Jason whispered just for you to hear, and hugged you like you were going to disappear any moment

He hold you for a long time until Damian pushed him aside

"I missed you Ummi" Damian squeezed your hand lightly, and you pulled him into your arms

"Its good to see my boys and my girl safe" You smiled caring at them

Alfred walked up to where the kids were

"Its good to see you Miss (Y/N)" Alfred greets you, smiling fondly

You look around, seeing watchful eyes over you. Was he there all the time?

"How you're feeling?" Alfred asked you, checking the serum that was in your veins

"It sucks, it seems that I was hit by an car" You joke humored

Alfred nodded in knowledge

"My whole body is aching, I have a headache, and I'm very hungry" Your stomach is snoring

"I suspected that you were going to say that. I going to bring you something to eat" Alfred heads out of the cave with the kids following behind him

"It seems the anesthesia effects were gone." Bruce deep voice caught your attention

"Anesthesia?" Confused, you question him

Everyone had gone, giving you two some privacy

"You were shot. You lost a mount of blood. When the boys found you, you were unconscious. We had to take the bullet out. You almost had a hemorrhage" He explained

"How long I have been out?" You ask, staring down at your body

You were dressing just in a black top and a yellow Batman loose short

You had some bruises, and some parts of your skin were purple. Your ribs were bandaged. You had stitches on your right arm

Bruce was looking for something in the nursery cabinets

"One week and three days" He states, turning around, looking in the other cabinets

"Oh, your birthday is in two days" You murmur, staring at his back

You could see how his back tensed when you said it. He got quiet for a while, and focus himself on what he was doing

"Yes, Alfred is planning the gala for the weekend. I don't have time to do that" He scratched his throat, walking towards you

"Here take it" He hands you some analgesics and a glass of water

He sits beside you on the bed. You could tell that he was lacking sleep and his beard was to do. He had some scratches on his face

"You lack sleep, when was the last time you slept?" You ask worried about his well being

You raise your hands, fingering his scratches

"You don't need to worry about me, the only one who needs care is you" He says softly, holding your hand in his

------------------------------------------------------------

You stared at the mirror for a long time. The gala for Bruce's birthday was happening down in the salon

You were wearing a beautiful yellow gown that Bruce had gifted you on your last birthday. You never had the chance to use

You felt uncomfortable with your stitches showing up. Your body was bruised. You couldn't help but feel ugly, even all dressed up

So you decide to stay in the room where you were staying for the week

For a few minutes in the room, you got restless and walked to the library

You loved the manor library. It was a cozy place where you always loved to stay. The big window had a beautiful view of the gardens. You remember staying here with Bruce when you wanted some time alone. You loved the yellow candlelight and the beautiful decoration, it was so classic.

You sit next to the window, looking out at the garden, where some guests were chatting

"I imagined that you'd be here" Bruce entered the library without making a sound

"I don't get scared anymore. I'm used to it" You roll your eyes, annoyed that he doesn't make any walking sounds to enter the places, you raise your eyebrows at him in doubt

Bruce was wearing a beautiful tailored tux. His beautiful blue eyes contrast with the black tux but match his navy tie

"You didn't show up. I come to check up on you" He states, looking at the view of the big window

"I'm sorry for not being there. I don't feel good enough to be around people" You felt guilty for not showing up

"Are you feeling unwell? Do you need anything? What are you feeling? Bruce asks in a hurry, getting closer to you

You stand up, raising a hand for him to calm him

Then Bruce stops, looking at you head to toe, amazed by the view of your beauty. His jaw fell open, and he whispered something you could not hear and licked his lips, straightening his posture

"Wow, you're marvelous tonight" He notes the yellow dress he gave you

"Hm thanks" You doubt he was being truthful. You didn't feel marvelous

You stared at your hands.

"What? You don't believe me?" Bruce asks in shock, realizing your deny his compliment

"Yeah, how could you think that I'm marvelous tonight if I look like this?" You point to your bruised body, looking at your stitches in the right arm

"I don't see nothing but the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in front of me" Bruce states firmly, looking into your eyes

"How?" You whisper, denying

"I can show you if you don't believe me" Bruce steps forward

Bruce gently holds you by the waist and run his fingers through the bruises, kissing them softly. His touch makes you shiver

He looked right into your eyes, asking for permission to kiss you

You lean closer, kissing lightly his lips, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment

The kiss was passionate. How you miss his lips. How you miss the good years. How you miss him

He holds you tightly in his arms

You slowly separate and breathe deep. Widening your eyes in realization. What have you done?

You step back brutally

"Damn it! What we did? We shouldn't do this" You said rude, cursing yourself for letting that happen

You were walking in circles in anxiety

"What? If you regret about it..." You cut him off quickly with a sharp look

"How can you do this? You are engaged and then kiss me, messing with my feelings" The hurt in your voice makes him want to hold you in his arms

"Easy (Y/N). I'm not engaged with any woman" He claimed with a firm tone

"Wait? You're not engaged? But the news said you bought a engagement diamond ring, you didn't propose to Selina?" You tilt your head, doubting if he said the truth

You groaned in pain. You have put too much effort into walking around, the pain fills your ribs and you breathe deep

"Be careful. You cannot make an effort or the stitches in your ribs will open" He warned you, coming closer, guiding you to sit on the leather couch

You stay quiet, staring at the window. The silence was uncomfortable but you didn't want to say anything to him

He was the one who needed to say something

"Hmm... look. I did buy an engagement diamond ring but it is not for Selina. I bought it for someone I cherish and love dearly" He states gently, holding your hands, making you stop to stare at the window

You blink slowly and stay quiet, waiting for him to continue

"I know that I was a dick to you. How I mess the things up with you.... When you left, I felt the regret consume me every day for not fighting for us. I wanted to ask you to stay, but I couldn't. I couldn't be so selfish, I knew you would be happier and safer without me. You would be better off without me. Although I realized that I was nothing without you, just a poor and miserable man" He said in a deep, low tone. It was something so intimate for him to share about his feelings

You look into his eyes, seeing his regretful gaze. His husky deep voice hold honesty over his words

"I was so scared of losing you and not having the chance to apologize for my mistakes. I miss the good years, of our partnership, you were my best friend. I was afraid I could not tell you everything that I wanted. All I wanted to do was hold you in my arms and protect you"

You stay quiet, not finding the words to say something

"I know how I hurt you, and I understand if you don't accept it. But I feel like i had to do it before its too late for us. I still love you (Y/N)" Bruce eyes had a brightness that you had never seen before

Bruce got on his knees in front of you, taking a little velvet red box out of his tux pocket

You were taken back by his confession. Your heart races with his words

"(Y/N) Will you marry me?" The red velvet box had a beautiful diamond ring

You stare at him in shock, speechless. He was proposing to you. You couldn't believe that.

He stares at you, uncertain of your answer, but the big crooked smile you gave him makes him feel more confident

"Oh my! Yes!, I do marry you Bruce" He felt relief with that

Placing the ring on your finger, Bruce kisses your hand tenderly

"I was afraid you would say no" He admitted, getting up and pulling you up gently

"The thought didn't pass my mind, but now i considering it" You pretend to think about

Bruce face went blank with your joke, but then he relaxed seeing you laughing of him

"Don't joke about that. I want to get old with you" He fake a scolds making a frown

"Well you already are old so don't worry" You snap with a teasing grin on your face

"Wow, that hurted my feelings" He put his hand on his heart, faking a heart pain and pouting

You peck his pouting lips and hold your arms around his neck while he holds you by the waist

"I love you too, Bruce" You confess, burying your face in his neck

"I swear to be better for you" You feel his hands tracing circles on your back

"You just need to fight for us when the things get rough. Don't let me go ever again, and stay with me" You embrace him tightly

"I promise" He whisper

"I'll kick you in the ass if you don't keep your promise" He laughed, caressing your hair locks

------------------------------------------------------------

"DAMN Damian! You let Joker stuck in a wheelchair forever" You curse under your breath

Damian was ready for the scold but you only smiled at him, messing his hair

"Well done Dami, I'm so proud of you" You whispered so only he could hear and winked at him

"Dick gave me a little help hitting the stick on his spine" He smiled slightly, feeling proud about his achievement. Now that maniac would not be able to hurt anyone

------------------------------------------------------------

#bruce wayne x reader #dc x reader #dc imagine #justice league #batman #batfam #batman x reader #batmom #batboys #batdad #batkids #justice league x reader

499 notes · View notes

whxre-bxby · 1 year

Text

"Special Appointment"

recom Mansk x human f. reader

Masterlist Click here for art

Summary: You're in charge of the physical and mental health of the recom team. Mansk has an appointment and he gets a massage. Little do you know, he has developed a crush on you which becomes fairly obvious during the appointment and there is a turn in events.

WARNING: SMUT, fluff, bad language, penetration, blowjob, fingering, breeding kink

Word Count: 5482

The RDA is a busy place to work in. On Earth, I had a lot to do already. On Pandora, my chores seemed to double. Luckily I’ve been slightly transferred from the research department to… whatever department this is.

I studied Na’vi species. Their body structure, muscles, skeletons, genes, and organs. The psychology too. Their language, culture and behaviour.

Now, I no longer have the desk job which I am thankful for. I was moved and assigned to the newly created recombinant team, to give them regular checkups and make sure everything was okay.

Part of my job now was to give them physiotherapy. Not all of them needed it but even the smallest complaints of pain or pressure could be a fault in the system so I needed to look at it.

Today, I had Mansk assigned to me. It was a check-up with an included massage because he wasn’t sleeping well.

I had gotten to know most of the recom’s pretty well. Mansk was one of them. We’ve had a few previous appointments and I enjoy talking with him. He’s the only person who asks me questions back when he comes in. I definitely don’t expect anyone to do that but it does often make my day. Of course, I don’t tell Mansk that because I want to keep things professional but I look forward to having him come in. I’ve also never massaged him before so let’s see how it goes.

Lyle came in for one yesterday. Not because he needed it, he’s in good condition. He insisted he needed a massage so I just let it happen and he fell asleep before we were even half done.

Anyway, I knew what I was doing. This was my job, after all, so there was no need to be nervous. It’s all going to be okay, he’s just going to take his… shirt off. And I will not stare OR make it awkward because I’m a professional at what I do and I’m still trying to get a raise so I can’t have anything going wrong!

He’s meant to be here in a few minutes so I get the room ready by putting away anything that wasn’t needed for this appointment. Since I wasn’t working in a laboratory anymore, I didn’t have to wear the stupid coat or the gloves. My clothes were more comfortable and that was part of the reason I preferred this over my previous job.

The big and heavy metal door beeps and the light above it flashes green instead of red. They automatically open and outside it is a colleague in a lab coat and half of what I’m assuming is Mansk.

Yes, the doors were absolutely humungous for me but apparently still not big enough for the Na’vi body. The person holding the clipboard direct the soldiers here and they nodded before turning to leave.

Mansk slowly leaned down, tilting his upper body slightly forward and stepping into the room. At least the ceiling was high enough.

“Don’t hit your head.” I say, smiling and quickly arranging my desk.

Mansk grins and breathily answers “Yeah.” before scanning the room.

“Hi, welcome back.” I greet him and he smiles.

“Hey.” he nods and I point to the large chair.

“Take a seat there and I’ll be right with you.” I say, finishing what I was doing.

Mansk listens, walking over to it and taking a seat while moving his tail out of the way. He always paid extra attention to it here because he didn’t want to knock anything over.

“Alright, I’m ready.” I say, turning around with all the necessary clean tools.

He nods again. I noticed he didn’t talk much, only when it was important. Yet he would still go out of his way to ask me things.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, stopping on his side and placing a few things on the trolly next to the chair.

“Alright.” he said, straightening his posture on the seat. “How are you?” he asks.

I chuckle and a smile forces itself onto my face.

“I’m alright too, thanks for asking.” I say and he smiles. “You know this check-up is about you, not about me, right?”

The corner of his mouth lifts up into a slight smirk. “Yeah, I know.” He says and I see myself in the reflection of his shades.

“Do you mind if we take those off?” I ask, motioning to his sunglasses. “You can put them on again when we’re done.”

He looks away and nods, taking them off and holding on to them. I smile.

“Thanks.”

I start with the check-up by examining his reflexes. The good old snapping next to the ears to see if they react. Everything worked well.

Next, I need to check the eyes. I reach for the torch and then gently place my hand on the left side of his face to guide him to look towards me.

I notice how his eyes widen as he watches me intently but lets me do what I need to.

I turn on the torch to its weakest level and shine it in his right eye. He squints a little and his pupil shrinks. The other eye does the same. It’s healthy. I keep his head there while I put the torch away and I feel how his eyes continue to linger on me.

I face him again, noticing that they are slightly red in the corners. Probably from lack of sleep. His eyes keep flicking back and forth, probably looking at mine but I refuse to let myself get distracted. Not that I didn’t want to. If I could I would sit down in his lap and stare into his eyes all day but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable because that would clearly be crossing the line and I would probably get fired.

I smile, gently tapping his cheek with my fingertip in praise that it’s all good and I step away.

“What happened to your face?” Mansk suddenly asks me and I remember the small scratch I have.

I grin at the memory. “Me and a friend were messing around with paperwork and she threw some of it at me. It’s just a papercut, no biggie.”

“Important paperwork?” he asks, smiling and looking up at me.

“Don’t tell your Colonel or the General.” I slyly say and he chuckles, dropping his head and shaking it.

I then scan over his braid, picking it up and checking whether everything is in its place. I pull it over his shoulder to make sure that it's still flexible like it should be. A Na’vi virus side effect is a stiff cord which is extremely painful, so luckily he doesn’t have that.

He watches how my hand glides over his braid and has to suppress a shiver which I don’t notice.

I move it down his queue and pinch the end of it gently while making sure he isn’t showing any signs of discomfort. The braid was very sensitive and it had to be handled gently or else it could potentially cause some disruption in the body.

He stayed still so I examined the small strands that moved as if they had a life of their own. I didn’t touch them, I just looked. As long as they move, everything is fine.

“Good, everything looks fine.” I say and flash him a reassuring smile before taking all the tools back to the cupboard.

“You said your back hurt, right?” I ask him, to make sure I didn’t get it wrong.

“Yeah.”

“Did something happen?”

“Nah, I just slept badly.”

I nod, writing it down. “Okay, then please remove your shirt and you can lie down over there.”

He nods and I turn away to give him a little privacy just to keep everything comfortable as I finish my notes. I get out the oil that helps with cramps and sore muscles from the cupboard next to me while I hear him shuffling around and laying down.

I turn around and walk to him with the bottle of oil in my hand. Since the mattress for him to lay on is the height of his waist, that makes it as tall as me so I have steps to climb on.

Mansk turns his head to the side and grins. “You have steps?”

“Yep. We don’t talk about it.” I say, quickly shutting him down.

“It’s cute.” he mumbles and the words make my heart race but I’m so in the character of the version of Y/N that doesn’t give a shit, that I can respond quickly.

“I feel like a Chihuahua.” I say, making him chuckle again.

I climb up and kneel next to him. Mansk is resting his head on his arms again and his tail is swaying around.

“You have to keep your tail down for the next 20 minutes.” I say and he lifts his head.

“Still too?” Mansk asks, seeming a little worried about that. The tail was hard for them to control.

“No, just try to keep it flat down if possible.” I laugh and he drops his head in defeat before nodding. I knew he struggled to get it under control too.

He managed though and I climbed on top of him, placing my legs on either side of his waist.

His tail was beneath me so I refused to sit down. Mansk’s ears were flattened back, focusing on me instead of pointing forwards.

“Just relax now.” I say with a smile and he answers with a soft “Mhm”.

I flick open the bottle, pouring some oil on my palm before rubbing it between both my hands to warm it up.

I then place my hands on his bare back and notice him flinch a little. Goosebumps rise on his skin making me smile but I say nothing.

I start working on his back, feeling his tense muscles and focusing on loosening them.

As the minutes go by, Mansk grows more relaxed and lets his shoulder slump.

(I made art for this :D click here)

Occasionally, he sighs and I smile because it makes me feel better about my work when I know that he isn’t uncomfortable or in pain.

I start telling him about the crisis I had with paperwork this morning because I know Mansk prefers listening over talking and he also prefers listening over silence.

So when I speak and rant, he listens and gives me his attention and it often helps me blow off some steam. Sometimes he adds things like nods or agreeing noises or even questions.

“Why was the deadline at 2:00 in the morning?” he asks, it sounding like a mumble though because his head is between his arms.

“Ask my bitch of a boss. Never giving us a normal time to do anything. That’s why your appointment is this late.” I complain and I feel him chuckle.

I work my way up his back, not leaving out a single spot. Apparently, I found a good area because Mansk is now letting out a few groans and his ears have drooped to the side.

The noises he is making hypnotise me and I can’t get enough of it. I’ve zoned out a few times already, daydreaming while massaging him. Mansk is now suppressing them and it makes me wonder whether I did something wrong or whether he felt a change in the atmosphere.

I also noticed he was no longer as relaxed as before and I tried to redo what I had previously done to ease the tension but it didn’t work.

That didn’t stop me from continuing though. We had a few minutes left and I was working on his shoulders right now.

Suddenly, I felt something brush up against the back of my leg and turned to see that Mansk’s tail was no longer down on the mattress.

I was about to say something about it when it suddenly caressed my hip and then seemed to try and wrap around my thigh. I froze for a split second, watching it move.

Was he doing this on purpose or was his tail once again acting up against his will?

I tried ignoring it, speeding up the massage because we were almost done. Maybe Mansk fell asleep?

Then, I felt his tail brush the inside of my thigh which was so close to my crotch and it made me jump. I suddenly grew extremely nervous and decided to stop.

“Okay, you’re all done.” I say, being so thankful that I didn’t stutter and trip over my words.

I climb off Mansk, putting the bottle of oil away and when I turn back to him, he hasn’t moved at all.

“You can come down now.” I say, trying to encourage him to get up because his appointment is finished. Not that I had anyone after him, he was the last person.

He runs a hand over his face and suddenly he seems frustrated.

“I uhm- I can’t… get up.” he says and his words confuse me.

“Does it still hurt?” I ask and he shakes his head no but I’m already returning back to where I was before.

“Is it the same spot as before?” I ask and Mansk shakes his head and starts to panic slightly but keeps his composure as I climb back on him, running my hands down his back.

I notice how tensed up he is but he doesn’t seem sore anymore.

“I can prescribe you a cream to relieve muscle pain.” I say, looking over to my cabinet again.

Little did I know, Mansk needed to be relieved in a different way and of something else. But he would never dare tell me.

Mansk thought of you too highly. You were like an angel to him and he appreciated every second he got to spend with you. Yes, he had developed a crush but he was denying it even to himself. He didn’t want to ruin what you had.

Even though his new body was difficult to deal with and he had to put up with it needing more attention, he wouldn’t ever touch himself to the thought of you or anything like that. In his head, you were too good for him. He knew that if he got up, you would visibly see what had formed in his pants and he would probably kill himself or lock himself away forever if you would see him as some creep.

But all that holding back had the tension in him just build up and he was currently having a very hard time suppressing his feelings.

I lift my left leg up, ready to climb off of him but suddenly his tail is around my thigh and it’s keeping me there. I don’t move, wondering whether it will let go but it stays still, just holding me there.

“Mansk?” I ask and I notice his head is raised but he seems to be avoiding me.

In the next second, the tail tugs me down and I land on Mansk. My weight is now fully seated on his lower back and-

…the beginning of his tail is pressed up right against my clothed pussy. The contact makes my breath hitch and I watch the muscles on his back flex. He must feel it too.

Then, his tail moves and I gasp. His ears shoot to where my noise came from and he is gripping the edge of the mattress so tightly his knuckles have turned white.

The smell of you fills the air and Mansk is able to pick it up. It makes his pupils widen a little and he bares his fangs while fighting himself to not turn around and touch you.

I start to imagine what could be going on and while I can’t see his expression nor pick up any scent, I can feel how the atmosphere completely changes.

The shift leads me to a conclusion of why Mansk isn’t turning around and why he is so tense all of a sudden. But since I’m not sure, I don’t want to risk too much.

However, I will act on it slightly because I can see that his body language confirms my hypothesis and I’m the expert in that after all.

“Mansk.” I say, with my voice more confident now and no longer shaky. His ears twitch back before flattening out again. Yeah, he heard me.

I lift myself up a little while his tail still holds on to me.

“Turn around.” It almost sounds like an order and it seems to surprise him a little. This time he inhales a shaky breath.

“But uh- I can’t I have-”

“Do it now.” I add and I watch him swallow nervously before he complies. His tail becomes loose around my thigh and he slowly turns around, to lie on his back while I give him some space.

His face is tainted with an embarrassed blush, his ears are once again strained back and he refuses to meet my eyes. He’s just staring down at himself and he looks almost ashamed and guilty. I follow his gaze, letting my eyes trace down his bare torso until I see his problem. And with that, my theory is indeed confirmed.

Mansk had a boner and he was clearly embarrassed about it.

I inhale sharply and my lips part. I don’t know what to say but seeing him worked up like this is really doing it for me. I just need to know whether he feels like this about me or whether his body is just messing with him again.

I move back a little so that I’m not right above it. Mansk’s eyes flicker up while his cheeks continue to burn.

“Is this for me?” I ask with a smirk. “Or is it your Avatar messing up?”

Finally, Mansk looks at me. He looks like a puppy that just did something bad and is in trouble.

He’s been trying to come up with any plausible excuse to save himself from this situation but your words hinted at amusement and now he wasn’t sure whether he should lie to get out of this or see where it goes.

I notice he is hesitant so I decide to give him a little push. I move up, now hovering over his torso and staring down at him. Mansk watches me with wide blown eyes and perked-forward ears.

“Come on, you can tell me.” I smirk again, taking one hand and tracing it along his collarbone and down to his chest. He shivers beneath me and his expression is changing from being hypnotised to fighting himself.

“If you don’t want to I will leave.” I say, wanting him to know he has the option to get out of this if I really have misinterpreted this whole situation.

“No-” he breathes out and I watch how defeat floods him. He’s given up on holding back.

“Y/N I love you.” he blurts out and his words take me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. I can see he’s still deeply blushing but he’s just staring at me like a lovestruck idiot at this point and I’m starting to love this.

“Yeah?” I ask, raising an eyebrow while a grin forms on my face.

“Yeah.” he almost whispers. His voice gave out for a split second and he sounds hoarse now.

“How much?” I tease, letting my fingertips dance on his glistening skin.

“So much.”

I just watch him in amusement. Who knew a big man like him would be so whipped and desperate?

“I need you so bad.” he adds and it almost sounds like a whine. Yep, he’s losing his barrier of being an emotionless and quiet soldier.

I chuckle, wrapping my fingers around his dog tag and leaning down to him.

“Magic word.” I say, thriving in the fact that I have so much control over him who is 3 times as big as me.

“Please.” he whispers and I grin. I lean down, keeping our faces just mere millimetres apart and then Mansk leans his head up and connects our lips.

I kiss him and rest my hands on his chest while his own start to wander my body. I let him touch my waist and face, but the rest will have to wait for later.

His hand travels down my back and once it passes my hip I pull away and smack it lightly. Mansk retreats his hand and stares up at me.

“Not yet.” I say and the words make him shiver again.

I sit back on him and let my hands glide over his torso.

Slowly I inch to the waistband on his pants and soon I am sitting on his upper thighs while his erection is straining his pants in front of me.

Mansk leans on his forearms to watch me and I grin at him again.

“Can I?” I ask, teasing his skin while dipping my fingertips beneath the fabric. He shakily sighs and nods his head.

“Words, baby.”

“Yeah…”

I slowly open and tug down his pants, thereby noticing he isn’t wearing a belt for once. I pull them down his thighs along with the underwear beneath and he sighs in slight relief when his erection is freed.

This time I gulp, staring at the size of it. It’s so big it blows my mind. I might have to rethink my strategy here.

Mansk notices and seems a little worried. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” he tells me and it warms my heart but the longer I see him like this the more I need him inside me.

“I want to.” I say, leaning forward and kissing him again. “You’re so beautiful.”

His ears perk forward and I take note that he likes the praise.

I then sit back again and wrap one hand around him. Mansk shudders and bites his lip and then I do the same with my other hand.

I stroke him a few times to test the waters and it seems to be working because Mansk is falling apart.

I smile to myself when I see how his mouth is hanging open a little and how his breathing gets heavier. He groans when I tighten my grip a little.

I lean down after collecting saliva on my tongue and lick over his tip. His teeth sink into his bottom lip and he tightly clutches his hands into fists again. I hear Mansk whimper and I continue to lick the tip of his cock, running my tongue along the slit where what I think is precum is forming.

I lick a long stripe from the base to the top before I wrap my lips around his tip and suck on him. Mansk throws his head back and his body shakes.

He’s been so desperate for your touch for so long and he refused to ever take care of himself or acknowledge it so now he’s so much more sensitive to you, he can’t help himself but already spill all over your hands.

Mansk is cumming and I try to swallow everything I can but the white ropes of cum are spurting out on me and my hands, it’s a mess.

He’s breathing heavily and I watch how his dick is throbbing in my hand. I myself and completely hypnotised by it and I wonder whether it’s going to go soft but it doesn’t.

Mansk has his head tilted back while he steadies his breath before he looks back at me.

“Can you do another round?” I ask, licking some cum off my hand and then licking my lips. The sight of that has Mansk feeling sure that he can do it.

“Fuck yeah.” he breathily says and I grin.

I sit back on my legs and pull my top over my head while he watches me with heart eyes.

I throw it to the side and quickly, my bra joins it on the floor. Mansk is speechless, still unable to wrap his head around the fact that you are doing this here with him.

My shorts and underwear are gone in the next second and Mansk sighs while letting his lust-drunk eyes rest on the newly exposed parts of your body.

He sits up once I’m naked but he keeps his hands on the side, not sure whether he is allowed to touch me or whether I even want that.

“You’re so cute.” I smile at him, sliding my hand over his head while one of my hands holds his cheek.

His cheeks heat up even more and he can’t suppress the big smile that formed on his face.

“Who’s making you blush this bad, huh?” I ask, in a teasing manner and he chuckles, dropping his head but doesn’t answer because we both know the answer.

I lean forward and connect our lips once again. This time we are closer and I arch my bare chest into him.

The make-out session is heavy and soon he builds up the confidence to touch me. It starts out small, with his fingertips lingering on my thigh. Then he holds my waist.

I grow impatient, wanting to feel more so I take his arm and wrap it all the way around me. Mansk presses me right against him, wanting to be as close to me as possible and he moves his kisses from my lips to my jaw before he starts to mark my neck in hickeys. I don’t even care if they will be visible, I need him more than anything right now.

I run my hands along his shoulders, appreciating every part of his body that I can and then my fingertips reach his braid and I let my hand glide down it. Mansk sighs into the crook of my neck and I decide that I need to feel him now.

I look down between us and grind myself down against him. He stops what he’s doing and relishes in the feeling before leaning back a little.

I watch as his hand travels between our bodies and he rubs the inside of my thigh before gliding his finger over my pussy. I whine, forgetting how good it felt to be touched like that. Maybe I needed this just as much as he did.

He was rubbing me and I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.

Before long, he pushes his finger halfway into me and I tensed up. It was obviously much bigger than my fingers and already stretched my walls a little but I tried relaxing again. He carefully pulled it out and repeated this action, thrusting it in a little further each time.

After a while, Mansk was fingering me knuckle-deep and then he added a second fingers and I held on tightly to his arm.

“Fuck-” I whimper and he just leans down and presses his head against mine in a form of comfort.

“You’re so pretty.” he whispers, making me blush. I hide my face by pressing it against his torso and he smiles.

I finally start to relax and it feels good but just then Mansk pulls his fingers out of me. I watch as he puts them in his mouth and licks them clean and it makes my heart skip a beat.

“God you taste amazing.” he groans, kissing my cheek before reaching for his dick which is almost pressing up against his stomach.

I lift my waist up a little more and Mansk supports me by holding my hip. He lines himself up with me, pressing his tip against my entrance.

“Go slow, please.” I say, a little worried about how it will feel.

“Yes ma’am.” he smiles, pressing his forehead against mine and rubbing his hand up and down my thigh.

Slowly I lower myself down and I feel the resistance. I adjust my position a little and push myself further down until finally, his tip pushes inside me.

Mansk’s mouth drops open and he relishes in the feeling of how I’m hugging him.

Even this would be fine with him. He just needs to make sure you feel good.

I clench my teeth together, stopping for a moment before letting myself sink down. The further inside me he goes the thicker he becomes and I’ve never felt anything like this before.

Mansk isn’t pushing me down at all, he’s letting me go at my own pace. Meanwhile, his eyes are fluttering closed and he’s trying to gather all his self-control to not spill just from how tight you are around him now.

I don’t manage to bottom out but neither of us expected that. He hit my cervix with his tip and he was just a little over halfway inside me.

I dig my nails into his skin, trying to fight back the discomfort and closing my eyes. Mansk notices and gets worried.

“I’m sorry…” he softly says, guiltily looking at me to make sure I’m still okay.

“Don’t be. I’ll be fine in a few minutes.” I say and give him a smile before readjusting myself on him.

“You feel so good.” he whimpers, cradling my body with one arm while holding himself up with the other.

I smile, glad that I can please him.

For the next two minutes, I just stay like that, needing to get used to him.

After that, it doesn’t feel like such an intrusion and I nod.

“It’s okay now.”I breathe out and his eyes shoot open and meet mine. He returns the nod and I slowly move up before letting myself sink down.

I set a slow pace and know that I won’t manage to keep it for long. Luckily Mansk helps me out by guiding my movements.

It starts feeling good and with time my legs turn to rubber and it’s Mansk who is moving me up and down his length. Both his hands are on my waist while mine rest on his shoulders and he’s effortlessly lifting me before pushing me down again. One would think that the person on top has control but that is definitely not the case.

As soon as the first moan leaves my lips, it encourages Mansk to pick up the pace a little.

His ears are once again strained back as he focuses on making us both feel good.

My eyes are glossy because I’ve never felt so full in my life and he was managing to hit all the good spots inside me at once.

“Mansk-” I moan, starting to feel hazy. “Don’t stop.”

He hisses, your words making a volcano of butterflies erupt in his stomach.

“Y/N- I can’t hold it much longer.” Mansk pants.

“It’s okay, I’m almost there…” I reply, feeling the tension build up in my lower abdomen. His hand dives between our bodies again and suddenly his thumb is rubbing against my clit.

I moan out his name again, letting my own head fall back while Mansk continues to fuck me down on him.

I feel his dick twitch and his eyes close as he chases his high. It’s all too much for me and with the next thrust, he pushes me over the edge.

My pussy clenches around him as if it weren’t already tight enough and it drives Mansk feral. He’s cumming right behind me, filling me up while I see stars. My body trembles while he presses us together again to keep us grounded in reality.

I gasp for air, leaning against him for stability while his hot breath fans against my back.

“Holy shit.” I whisper and he chuckles. I notice how his cum isn’t dripping out of me. That’s how tight it is for him. I feel a little sore now that the pleasure is gone but I remain close to him.

We pull away a little and Mansk gazes into my eyes. He’s about to say something but I cut him off with a kiss. Of course, he doesn’t complain.

When I pull back I smile, realising I’m in love with him too. He’s the best person I know here. Why not give it a shot?

“I think I love you too.” I whisper and my words make his eyes widen. He wasn’t expecting that either but it made him smile.

“Let me take you out some time.” he suggests and I giggle, looking down.

“Sure.” I reply and Mansk pulls me into a hug.

We clean ourselves up and he sets a day for the date.

“See you tomorrow.” he says as he leaves.

“Don’t be late!” I call after him with a grin.

“I wouldn’t dare to. I’m meeting you.” he says, turning around with a grin. That was so cheesy it made me blush. Fuck.

This evening went much better than expected.

Tag List: @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @number1gal

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transgenderer · 4 months

Text

Editor's Summary: How do young children learn to associate new words with specific objects or visually represented concepts? This hotly debated question in early language acquisition has been traditionally examined in laboratories, limiting generalizability to real-world settings. Vong et al. investigated the question in an unprecedented, longitudinal manner using head-mounted video recordings from a single child’s first-person experiences in naturalistic settings. By applying machine learning, they introduced the Child’s View for Contrastive Learning (CVCL) model, pairing video frames that co-occurred with uttered words, and embedded the images and words in shared representational spaces. CVCL represents sets of visually similar things from one concept (e.g., puzzles) through distinct subclusters (animal versus alphabet puzzles). It combines associative and representation learning that fills gaps in language acquisition research and theories.

Abstract: Starting around 6 to 9 months of age, children begin acquiring their first words, linking spoken words to their visual counterparts. How much of this knowledge is learnable from sensory input with relatively generic learning mechanisms, and how much requires stronger inductive biases? Using longitudinal head-mounted camera recordings from one child aged 6 to 25 months, we trained a relatively generic neural network on 61 hours of correlated visual-linguistic data streams, learning feature-based representations and cross-modal associations. Our model acquires many word-referent mappings present in the child's everyday experience, enables zero-shot generalization to new visual referents, and aligns its visual and linguistic conceptual systems. These results show how critical aspects of grounded word meaning are learnable through joint representation and associative learning from one child's input.

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heartfullofleeches · 10 months

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(Idk Exael’s pronouns so I’m using It/They right here, hope that’s okay)

I like to imagine that someway somehow Exael got itself a body by lying to the reader and telling them that it was making some extra parts/upgrades for Mono as a surprise and said that reader just needed to push a few buttons on the control panels so Exael can get the go ahead and create the parts

Then next thing you know Mono comes back to the ship and sees reader being aggressively hugged by Exael’s in their new body

[.- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / … . -.-. ..- .-. . ..--..]

You wrestle against your bindings - blankets and sheets tucked just so to pin you snuggly to the mattress with enough breathing and wiggling room to free yourself if needed. "Think so. Thanks, Mono."

The alien brings their hand down to your head, flicking their translator back on as they smooth your hair against the pillow.

[No need to thank me. I enjoy the route. It eases me to be the one at your side when most vulnerable. Safe travels, Starlight.]

Mono hovers two fingers to their lips and rests them on your forehead. The lamp at your bedside flickers off as they turn to leave, projections fading into apparency overhead as the door shuts behind them. Blankets pulled to your chin, you melt into the oversized mattress as your eyelids flutter transfixed on the stars illuminating the ceiling. The same stars shining bright right outside your window every night back on earth. It's crazy to think how drastically your life had changed from one eve to the next. A relatively normal life and in the blink you're exploring the galaxy with a robotic alien almost three times your size. There were hurtles, but you've made your peace. Still getting through the language barrier, but at least you'd picked up a couple key phrases.

Exhaustion laying claim to your tired mind, your eyes weight heavy as sleep takes hold - torn open by a loud thud rippling through the vents and floor of your room.

Bang!

The sound chatters through your teeth, channeling the anxiety running through you as a monitor lowers from the ceiling. Its screen glows a calming blue that doesn't make you feel as warranted. A hairline crack across the length of the screen spilts into a wide smile as a voice speaks from within the walls.

"C-c-o-pilot Y/n. Please exit your bed and board in an orderly fashion and make your way towards the nearest laboratory. Captain Mono has been thankfully executed by their mortal enemy and likely needs your assistance to transfer to a new body before their memory is destroyed."

In your panic and sleep depraved confusion - you struggle to proceed the monitor's words. "Mono has been what by who?...."

"My apologies! I'm still navigating through all the bugs and firewall implemented in my system. What I mean to say was -"

The screen flashes red.

"THE WASTE OF SCRAP WAS EATEN BY METAL EATING SHARKS AND IF YOU DON'T GET TO THE LAB RIGHT NOW THEY'LL BE DEAD..... FOR GOOD."

You don't need to be told a third time. Shimming free of the blankets, you race for the door - cold, hard tiles slapping against your feet as had no time to dress. Loud Banging and animalistic roars echo throughout the empty halls. Each thud drumming strong throuth your ears, you begin to pick up on the rhythm they follow. Short, short, short, long, long....

… --- …

It's the first code they taught you. You stop dead in your tracks. "....Mono?"

The dull edge of the monitor drives into your spine as you're flung through the laboratory door. "No time - get in."

The temperature drops below freezing - clammy skin clinging to frosted tiles as you step. The lights and machinery power on without your input, a metal tendril retreating into the shadows as you glance at the light switch. The room is mostly the same as you remember with the addition of thin claw marks in the walls and papers scattered across the floor. The broken glass from a beaker had been neatly swept beneath a run. The most notable difference was the slightly opened hatch left ajar from its placement behind a shelf and the still body within.

Upon closer inspection, the body turned out to be some sort of android. It lacked skin on its face and limbs, but the flesh graphed tp its torso looked so real. A small purple heart had been tattooed to its left breast with written text impossible to make out through the thick layer of glass encasing the body in its frozen cage. You pick up a notebook on the table. Lists of different hairstyles, types of clothing, and popular earth attractions written as far back as before you formally met. The stick note on the books cover falls as you flip through the pages - you pick it up.

"B.."

In all the rush you never really stopped to think about Mono really being gone. It wasn't long ago that they had quizzed you on constellations and their placements while tucking you into bed. Could you actually do something to save them.. Would this... thing be the new them?

"Oh! Good, you made it. Great job so far. Real proud of you - and the captain too I guess for taking you. Now - on to the hard part. It might be a little tricky, but I know you can do it. Walk over to that panel over there."

You do as instructed, picking up the tablet and examining its buttons. "Now what?"

"Okay... Stay with me, now... I need you to enter your date of birth."

You gaze up at the monitor. It flickers bright pink.

"Hey! Don't give me that look!- There are a lot of days in your calendar and centuries more years get off my.... actually you can sit wherever you want once we're done. Just hurry up!"

As if reiterating the urgency of your situation, a loud crash and the scrapping of metal booms outside the lab door. You quickly punch in the numbers and hurry over to the bookcase just in time to see the door blown off its hinges. Smoke builds as you close the bookshelf and the pod opens - glitch laughter bouncing from every corner.

"You did it. You actually did it."

You're too focused on the bookshelf to notice. It's like the force on the other side knew exactly where to go leaving you unable to set up a barrier for their act. Wires slither discreetly across the floor, inching towards exposed circuitry in the android's neck and squeezing until the head pops clean off. The thick wires then make home for themselves in the double's throat - linking and hooking the grinning monitor into place as you're knocked backwards from the bookshelf being torn from your grasp.

Strong arms prevent you from sustaining more damage than this night cycle as already caused. A guttural purr sounds from your savior as they hold you to their fleshy shell. Free from containment, the word on their chest is finally legible.

"Starlight."

"Mono?..."

The figure chuckles. "Guess again, babe. God, you don't know how good it feels to finally have a body. I've been wanting to do this for so, so long. Humans are a lot squisher than I imagined. I love it~"

Their arms press tighter against your ribs. If whatever was coming didn't kill you - the android's smothering would. You watch as the shadow lurches through the fog. Towering build, talons like razors. A chipped horn on its helmet.... A single eye - glowing violet with rage.

"Mono!"

["I'm going to tear you apart with my own hands.... and devour whatever code that made you think for a second you could put your hands on my Starlight. Let. Them. Go. NOW."]

The android hops to their feet, using your body as a shield between the snarling Mono. "Look - I know you're upset, but look on their bright side!"

[There is no bright side to this... I've tried fixing you, I've tried deactivating you - yet you always turn out to be the same annoying parasite that you are. There's nothing you or anyone could do to stop me.]

"You're alive..."

You tear yourself free using your lingering strength, stumbling into Mono's hardened body as your legs give out from what you've put them through. Mono is quick to catch you - the blinding shine of their eyes shrinking as you take their large hand in yours. "There's not even a scratch on you. What happened to the shark?"

Their visor clouds as they breathe.

[Whatever it told you was a lie. I'm certain you'd never betray me on your own volition, but did you do this to save me somehow?]

"Exael said you'd been seriously hurt and it was the only way to save you. I was panicking so much I didn't think to ask any questions. I'm sorry...."

[Don't be. You did a noble thing, I couldn't be prouder to have you as my right hand. We will talk more once you're rested. As for you....]

Mono peers over your shoulder to find Exael gone. They groan, fearing the headaches to come- but onto more important matters. As Mono carries you to your room, you can't help but wonder..

"Hey, Mono - what was that body for anyway?"

[Apologies. It was supposed to be a surprise. I've been working on a vessel to make it easier for us to be seen as a pair on your planet. I fear with my size I'll end up getting my horns stick in a light fixture.]

Mono chuckles at their own attempt at humor.

[I had hoped to have it finished by your birthday so we could celebrate a night as you once did, but the work flow has obviously been... interrupted. Fortunately, I have a spare that isn't too far back in production. Enough talk for now. It's well past when you were intended to rest.]

You yawn at the mention. Sleep alludes you once more as you enter your bedroom. Exael lays out on your bed with a journal Mono had given you, reading aloud as their legs swing back and forth behind them. They toss the book under your bed and waves as Mono taps their hoof expectantly.

"Oh, heyyyy Roomie. Great to see ya. Would you prefer the left side of the bed or the right?"

Mono gently places you on your feet.

[Sleep in my room tonight. Do not leave no matter what you hear. Do as I say - and you may spend an extra hour in the relation chamber tomorrow.]

You sprint off without another warning. Mono removes their translator entirely and sets in on your nightstand as they remove their arm bands. Sweat appears on Exael's screen.

"Heh heh..we can share, y'know.. you wouldn't kill their favorite bot, would ya?"

--. .-.. .- -.. .-.. -.--

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere scenarios #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere blurb #yandere alien #yandere android #soft yandere #Exael my oc #Mono my oc

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blissfulip · 5 months

Text

Dopamine

On AO3:

Viktor x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags: enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, dubious science, mostly canon compliant, no use of y/n, chemist!reader, eventual smut.

Cw: explosions (no casualties), rude language.

Words: 1.6k

[A/N: tags and content warnings to be updated in each chapter, updates weekly.]

Part 2 Part 3

Chapter 1: A Forced Vacation

The sound of the blast was loud and echoing, which made Viktor believe the explosion must have happened nearby. Jayce's immediate reaction after uncovering his ears was to go out the door to try to find the source, but Viktor stopped him, reminding him that they didn't know if there was fire or anything dangerous outside. The announcement came shortly after when a muffled voice urged them to evacuate the academy building through the speakers on the ceiling.

"Please remain calm; a small-sized explosion has taken place at the manufacturing facilities; there is a chance there might be potentially harmful compounds in the air, so please make sure to correctly place the gas masks provided at the beginning of the academic term, you may situate them under the emergency equipment cupboard near the main entrance of each laboratory room, we reiterate: please remain calm as you evacuate the premises."

"Small explosion?" Jayce huffed as he retrieved the masks from the cupboard. Both of them did as they were told and calmly but energetically walked down the hallway to get to the main entrance of the building, where dozens had already congregated.

No one seemed to be affected by the recent developments except for Viktor; he even overheard a group of people excitedly chattering about possible places to have fun during their sudden evening off. Interruptions already annoyed him profoundly, but the importance of the breakthrough he recently had made this untimely interference ever more infuriating. He was leaning on a wall, impatiently tapping his cane against the concrete floor, when Jayce decided to investigate the matter, and the expression on his face when he came back was less than encouraging.

"So?"

"I don't think we'll be able to return to work, at least not today."

"What happened, though? What was the explosion about?"

"Uh…one of the quenching systems blew up; not sure I understood the reason why." Jayce hoped Viktor didn't catch on to the reason for his hesitation, but he did; it was a lost cause.

"Ha! I should've known it had to do with the chemistry department; it's almost like she is scheduled to create chaos at least once a month." Viktor started to raise his voice and gesture excessively.

"Come on, Vik, cut her some slack; they didn't expressly say she was directly responsible for any of this."

"When is it not her fault, though? It's almost like she lives to hinder my work!"

"Why are you so angry? Did you misplace your caliper again?" You said, appearing from behind Jayce with a playful pout only to annoy him more intentionally.

"If it isn't the source of all my problems," Viktor said, rolling his eyes.

"What did I do now?" You said, laughing ironically.

"I had an inkling that such a monumental mishandling could only be your fault." he hissed.

"you're wrong as usual, Sparkle."

"You designed those vents!" This accusation struck a nerve in you. And any mood for playful banter had been substituted by indignation.

"First of all, I'm a chemist, not an engineer, so if anything, it's a testament to my brilliance that those scrubbers have been working at all, and as a matter of fact, they would have continued working perfectly if it weren't for you."

"What do we have to do with any of this?"

"The sizing of the quenching system I put in place was appropriate until the hextech team came to be, and you two decided to start pumping out microelectronics all the time, the amount of suppressing agent that has to be pumped through the system to accommodate for the things you have been manufacturing exacerbated the machine, of course it was gonna explode eventually!"

"Why didn't you adjust the sizing then?"

"Because it's not my job! I'm here to research organic materials, not design your machinery. I warned the council, and they didn't seem to care, so if you have a problem, take it up with them for not hiring the appropriate people for the job."

"How can you be so offhand about what happened? This could've been fatal had there been people in the facility."

"Oh, get off your high horse, Viktor, you're only mad because I'm involved, and you're being forced to interrupt your work. Don't pretend like you care."

"Of course I care. Do you think I'm a monster?"

"Of course not. You're definitely well known for being big on safety protocols." You said with a clear tone of sarcasm.

Viktor knew you were right and could not argue against that, but he wanted to retort. He wanted very badly to say anything at all. Unfortunately, you had already turned on your heels to walk away from them, leaving him with narrowed eyes and a deep frown.

"You kind of set yourself up for that one," Jayce said casually. He had been quietly witnessing you two fight as he usually did. Viktor gave him a furious glare as a response and walked back to his dormitories resentfully quiet.

--------------------------------------

Murmurs could be heard coming from the entrance of the laboratory wing. There was a strong feeling of emptiness in your stomach as you approached, that you usually would have attributed to not having eaten anything that morning; however, this time, it was a clear fear of facing the consequences of the previous afternoon’s incident. It hadn’t been your fault; you were as angry as the next person, and for an institution with that many wealthy investors, the Academy had a silent policy of spending as little as possible on as few departments as they could. Everyone knew that with the unlooked-for creation of the Hextech team, the investments in all the other research departments had been drained to be allotted to the council’s golden duo; there had been multiple coffee machine conversations about it. Yet, you were anxious.

They wouldn’t blame you, would they? Viktor did, and if there’s something that son of a bitch was good at beyond tightening nuts and bolts was persuading a crowd. What prevented him from convincing all your colleagues that this whole debacle was your burden? All that muttering was probably him rallying up a crowd to lynch you.

You breathed in. When have you been afraid to face him before? This was unlike you.

I don’t owe anything to anyone. That idiot can badmouth my character as much as he likes, but he can’t argue with the facts.

You relaxed your shoulders and unclenched your jaw.

“Get a grip, damn it!” You said to yourself quietly as you put on a laid-back cast and opened the door to the main hall.

No heads were left unturned when you walked in. Some faces were neutral, some carried the type of warm smile of someone who would be happy to see you, there was that one guy from the poli-sci department who was a tad too smug about your entrance, some seemed worried, and one of them—the bane of your existence—looked at you with a pronounced frown, eyes narrowed, and mouth turned upside-down.

"What's everyone doing here? I thought I was late already. Did I miss a memo?" You said with a casual tone, a painfully obvious attempt at masking the existential crisis you were having just moments earlier.

"Labs are gonna be closed for a month; something about them needing to disinfect and ventilate potential harmful agents from the facilities."

Part of you was glad it had been your friend Moira who spoke up first, but on the other hand, you feared the silence before the storm, and you were soon proved to be justified in doing so.

"I hope you are happy."

"Why would I be?

"You just cost us a month’s worth of work." Viktor sneered through his teeth.

"I'm sure you can afford that. Differently from the rest of the research departments, you don't have the risk of losing your funding if you don't churn out constant developments, so I don't see why you are so upset."

"This isn't the first time you have gotten in the way of my work. You could say I've boiled over."

This is when people started to walk away. Your 'explosive' relationship with Viktor wasn't a novelty to anyone, and they knew better than to try to intervene. It had been more than a year at this point; you resented him for not admitting the preferential treatment they were given by the Academy, and he resented you for some…unfortunate accidents that had delayed his work before. You both knew you had some fault in each of those things, but stubbornness and pride had prevented you from admitting this to one another. To his dismay, Jayce had had to play mediator, the child of a divorce that never happened.

"Except this time, it wasn't my fault, but of course, you'd jump at any opportunity to blame me for something."

"Maybe if you were competent enough to complete the task you were given, it wouldn't have happened."

You were livid.

"I played engineer for a couple of weeks and designed a machine that worked without a hitch for 3 years. You are an engineer and can't get any of those little prototypes of yours to work. Remind me who's incompetent again?"

"Woah, okay, that's enough. Let's all go home and relax, okay?" Jayce said, already dragging Viktor from his cane arm and not allowing him to proffer any of the offenses he intended to.

How dare he say you were incompetent? You were head and shoulders above him in every possible category. Fine, perhaps he had an edge when it came to discipline. And organization. Maybe charisma, somehow everyone liked him. You understood why. He was handsome too, charming even…

Maybe if he— No. don’t even start.

#viktor #arcane viktor #viktor arcane #viktor x reader

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spacetimewithstuartgary · 2 months

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As Voyager 1's mission draws to a close, one planetary scientist reflects on its legacy

For nearly 50 years, NASA's Voyager 1 mission has competed for the title of deep space's little engine that could. Launched in 1977 along with its twin, Voyager 2, the spacecraft is now soaring more than 15 billion miles from Earth.

On their journeys through the solar system, the Voyager spacecraft beamed startling images back to Earth—of Jupiter and Saturn, then Uranus and Neptune and their moons. Voyager 1's most famous shot may be what famed astronomer Carl Sagan called the "pale blue dot," a lonely image of Earth taken from 6 billion miles away in 1990.

But Voyager 1's trek could now be drawing to a close. Since December, the spacecraft--which weighs less than most cars--has been sending nonsensical messages back to Earth, and engineers are struggling to fix the problem. Voyager 2 remains operational.

Fran Bagenal is a planetary scientist at the Laboratory for Atmospheric and Space Physics (LASP) at CU Boulder. She started working on the Voyager mission during a summer student job in the late 1970s and has followed the two spacecraft closely since.

To celebrate Voyager 1, Bagenal reflects on the mission's legacy—and which planet she wants to visit again.

Many are impressed that the spacecraft has kept going for this long. Do you agree?

Voyager 1's computer was put together in the 1970s, and there are very few people around who still use those computing languages. The communication rate is 40 bits per second. Not megabits. Not kilobits. Forty bits per second. Moreover, the round-trip communication time is 45 hours. It's amazing that they're still communicating with it at all.

What was it like working on Voyager during the mission's early days?

At the very beginning, we used computer punch cards. The data was on magnetic tapes, and we would print out line-plots on reels of paper. It was very primitive.

But planet by planet, with each flyby, the technology got a lot more sophisticated. By the time we got to Neptune in 1989, we were doing our science on much more efficient computers, and NASA presented its results live across the globe over an early version of the internet.

Think about it—going from punch cards to the internet in 12 years.

How did the Voyager spacecraft shape our understanding of the solar system?

First of all, the pictures were jaw-dropping. They were the first high-quality, close-up pictures of the four gas giant planets and their moons. The Voyagers really revolutionized our thinking by going from one planet to the other and comparing them.

Jupiter and Saturn's ammonia white and orange clouds, for example, were violently swept around by strong winds, while Uranus and Neptune's milder weather systems were hidden and colored blue by atmospheric methane. But the most dramatic discoveries were the multiple distinct worlds of the different moons, from Jupiter's cratered Callisto and volcanic Io to Saturn's cloudy Titan to plumes erupting on Triton, a moon of Neptune.

The Jupiter and Saturn systems have since been explored in greater detail by orbiting missions—Galileo and Juno at Jupiter, Cassini at Saturn.

Voyager 2 is the only spacecraft that has visited Uranus and Neptune. Do we need to return?

My vote is to return to Uranus—the only planet in our solar system that's tipped on its side.

We didn't know before Voyager whether Uranus had a magnetic field. When we arrived, we found that Uranus has a magnetic field that's severely tilted with respect to the planet's rotation. That's a weird magnetic field.

Jupiter, Saturn and Neptune all emit a lot of heat from the inside. They glow in the infrared, emitting two and a half times more energy than they receive from the sun. These things are hot.

Uranus isn't the same. It doesn't have this internal heat source. So maybe, just maybe, at the end of the formation of the solar system billions of years ago, some big object hit Uranus, tipped it on its side, stirred it up and dissipated the heat. Perhaps, this led to an irregular magnetic field.

These are the sorts of questions that were raised by Voyager 30 years ago. Now we need to go back.

Culturally, Voyager 1's most lasting impact may be the 'pale blue dot.' Why?

I have huge respect for Carl Sagan. I met him when I was 16, a high school student in England, and I shook his hand.

He pointed to the Voyager image and said, "Here we are. We're leaving the solar system. We're looking back, and there's this pale blue dot. That's us. It's all our friends. It's all our relatives. It's where we live and die."

This was the time we were just beginning to say, "Wait a minute. What are we doing to our planet Earth?" He was awakening or reinforcing this need to think about what humans are doing to Earth. It also evoked why we need to go exploring space: to think about where we are and how we fit into the solar system.

How are you feeling now that Voyager 1's mission may be coming to an end?

It's amazing. No one thought they would go this far. But with just a few instruments working, how much longer can we keep going? I think it will soon be time to say, "Right, jolly good. Extraordinary job. Well done."

#science #space #astronomy #physics #news #nasa #astrophysics #voyager 1

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twisted-nina · 5 months

Text

Idia Shroud with Robecca Steam!reader

➥ 🇷 🇪 🇶 🇺 🇪 🇸 🇹 🇪 🇩 : 🇳 🇴 a/n : Headcanons about what it would be like if Idia had a s/o like Robecca Steam from Monster High, I plan to do it for the other leaders and maybe do another one for Ever After High. If you read it on another blog, I'm still the original writer, I just decided to move to another blog. w a r n i n g : Mention of panic attacks and anxiety, "Death" suggested but not actually. English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes ( ╥ω╥ ).

You were raised by the same context as Ortho. Your father was a great mad scientist who lost his daughter, the "original" you.

You probably met because Idia went after your father to ask for help with Ortho and you were in the laboratory with him.

To say that Idia is beyond amazed by you is an understatement.

During the years he spent recreating Ortho, you were the only person he allowed to be by his side. Helping him and making sure he was well taken care of.

Idia is completely obsessed with you.

Everything about you fascinates him. How you function, whether you can feel emotions, your routine, your aesthetics. Everything.

100% made a steampunk costume for Ortho so you two match.

One of his favorite pastimes is watching you and Ortho interact. Just seeing you and his brother floating around and playing tag brings him peace and eases his anxiety.

He also loves checking up on you. After your father gave him permission, Idia likes to see what he can do better in his function. Although you look old on the outside, you have the best and most modern system on the inside.

Even when Idia went to NRC, you still stay in constant contact and you also visit him when you can.

Ignihyde students really appreciate it when you visit their dorm and always ask you questions. Which could make Idia jealous and lead to a long session of him cuddling with you in bed.

❝ Hey. I am truly grateful to have you by my side all these years. I-I don't know what it's like for you b-but I l-love you. ❞

Many people don't understand their relationship and sometimes Idia doesn't either.

Idia knows that he loves you with all his heart and knows that you also love him in your own way, but sometimes he has doubts.

You are not really human, although you have your own consciousness and can feel to some extent… you are not human.

and that's what Idia is afraid of.

Since he met you, sometimes you have "flaws".

Although it doesn't happen anymore and has become a rare occurrence, Idia vividly remembers the day you hung up.

Sometimes you need to "sleep" to recharge your energy but on this specific day you just switched off out of nowhere.

Your father thinks that some part inside you malfunctioned and then fixed it, making you fully functional again.

But Idia remembers the trauma it caused. For weeks he wouldn't leave your side for anything and stayed sleepless nights just to watch you recharge.

Even though you receive updates whenever there is something more advanced, Idia lived in constant fear and it is at these times when you need to stay by his side to prevent him from collapsing and avoid a panic attack.

Another fear he has is that you will lose the feeling of love and that along with that you will lose interest in him.

Once, during an anxiety attack, Idia told you about this fear and the answer you gave brought him to his knees.

You said that even if you impossibly lost the ability to have feelings, you would never EVER leave his side. Years ago, when he was mourning his lost brother and doing everything possible and impossible to bring him back from you, you drilled deep into yourself that you would never leave him.

Regardless of what would happen, you would be by his side until his "heart" stops beating.

Idia may or may not have proposed to you after that.

Overall, Idia considers herself very lucky to have you by her side. He loves you very much and he loves the family (you and Ortho) he has.

Idia knows that their relationship is not "conventional", but honestly, he wouldn't change anything and would do it all over again.

#twisted wonderland #idia shroud #twst idia #idia x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #idia headcanons #idia shround headcanons #Robecca Steam!reader

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liqvid · 2 years

Link

Learning management systems

With over 1.35 billion speakers, English is the most widely spoken language in the world. From corporate to traveling, English is in demand everywhere. Due to this, more and more people are learning English and hence the rise in online learning management systems.

#English Language Lab Software #Digital Spoken English Lab #Language Laboratory System #Learning management systems #Online learning management systems

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fatehbaz · 8 months

Text

It's a big mess of hubris; the manipulative use of scientific language to legitimate/validate the status quo; Victorian/Gilded Age notions of resource extraction; the "rightness" of "land improvement"; and the inevitability of empire.

This was published in the United States one year before the massacre at Wounded Knee.

This was the final year-ish of the so-called "Indian Wars" when the US was "completing" its colonization of western North America; at the beginning of the Gilded Age and the zenith of power for industrial/corporate monopolies; when Britain, France, and the US were pursuing ambitious mega-projects across the planet like giant canals and dams; just as the US was about to begin its imperial occupations in Central America and Pacific islands; during the height of the "Scramble for Africa" when European powers were carving up that continent; with the British Empire at the ultimate peak of its power, after the Crown had taken direct control of India; in the years leading up to mass labor organizing and the industrialization of war precipitating the mass death of the two world wars.

This was also the time when new academic disciplines were formally professionalized (geology; anthropology; archaeology; ecology).

Classic example of Victorian-era (and emerging modernist and twentieth-century) imperial hubris which implies justification for its social hierarchies built on resource extraction and dispossession by invoking both emerging technical engineering prowess (trains, telegraphs, electricity) and the in-vogue scientific theories widely popularized at the time (Lyell's work, dinosaurs, and the geology discipline granting new understanding of the grand scale of deep time; Darwin's work and ideas of biological evolution; birth of anthropology as an academic discipline promoting the idea of "natural" linear progression from "savagery" to imperial civilization; the technical "efficiency" of monoculture/plantations; emerging systems ecology and new ideas of biogeographical regions).

While also simultaneously doing the work to, by implication, absolve them of ethical complicity/responsibility for the cruelty of their institutions by naturalizing those institutions (excusing the violence of wealth disparities, poverty, crowded factory laboring conditions, mass imprisonment, copper mines, South Asian famine, the industrialization of war eventually manifesting in the Great War, etc.) by claiming that "commerce is a science"; "pursuit of profit is Natural"; "empire is inevitable".

This tendency to invoke science as justification for imperial hegemony, whether in Britain in the 1880s or the United States in the 1920s and such, might be a continuation of earlier European ventures from the sixteenth to eighteenth centuries which included the use of cartography, surveying/geography, Linnaean taxonomy, botany, and natural history to map colonies/botanical resources and build/justify plantations and commercial empires in the Portuguese slave ports, Dutch East Indies, or the Spanish Americas.

Some of the issues at play:

-- Commerce is "A Science". Commerce is shown to be both an ecological system (by illustrating it as if it were a landscape, which is kinda technically true) and a physiological system (by equating infrastructure/extraction networks with veins) suggesting wealth accumulation is Natural.

-- If commerce/capitalism are Natural, then evolutionary theory and linear histories suggest it is also Inevitable (it was not mass violence of a privileged few humans who spent centuries beating the Earth into submission to impose the Victorian/Gilded Age state of things, it was in fact simply a natural evolutionary progression). And if wealth accumulation is Natural, then it is only Right to pursue "land improvement".

-- US/European hubris. They can claim to perceive the planet in its apparent totality (as a globe, within the bounds of extraterrestrial space as if it were a laboratory or plantation). The planet and all its lifeforms are an extension of their body, implying a justified dominion.

-- However, their anxiety and suspicions about the stability of empire are belied by their fear of collapse and the simultaneous US/European obsession at the time with ancient civilizations, the "fall of Rome", classical ruins, etc. At this time, the professionalization of the field of archaeology had helped popularize images and stories of Sumer, Egypt, the Bronze Age, the Aegean, Rome, etc. And there was what Ann Stoler has called an "imperialist nostalgia" and a fascination with ancient ruins, as if Britain/US were heirs to the legacy of Athens and Rome. You can see elements of this in the turn of the century popularity of Theosophy/spiritualism, or the 1920s revival of "classical" fashions. This historicism also popularized a sort of "linear narrative" of history/empires, reinforced by simultaneous professionalization of anthropology, which insinuated that humans advance from a "primitive" state towards modernity's empires.

-- Meanwhile, from the first decades of the nineteenth century when Megalosaurus and Iguanodon helped to popularize fascination with dinosaurs, Georgian and later Victorian Britain became familiar with deep time and extinction, which probably contributed to British anxiety about extinction, imperial collapse, lastness, and death.

-- Simultaneously, the massive expansion of printed periodicals allowed for sensationalist narrativizing of science.

-- The masking of the cruelty in a euphemism like "land improvement". Like sentencing someone to a de facto slow death and deprivation in a prison but calling it a "sanatorium" or "reformatory". Or calling the mass amounts of poor, disabled, women, etc. underclasses of London "unfortunates". Whether it's Victorian Britain or early twentieth century United States: "Our empire is doing this for the betterment and advancement of all mankind."

-- If an ecosystem is conceived as a machine, "land improvement" actually means monoculture, high-density production, resource extraction, concentration.

-- The image depicts the body is itself is also a mere machine (dehumanization, etc.). And if human bodies are shown to be also systems, networks, machines like an ecosystem, then human bodies can also be concentrated for efficiency and productivity (literal concentration camps, prisons, factories, company towns, slums, dosshouses, etc.). This is the thinking that reduces humans and other creatures to objects, resources, to be concentrated and converted into wealth.

And so after the rise of railroads and coal-power and industrial factories in the earlier nineteenth century, the fin de siecle and Edwardian era then saw the expansion of domestic electricity, easier photography, telephones, radio, and automobiles. But you also witness the spread of mass imprisonment, warplanes, and machine guns, etc. And in the midst of this, the Victorian/Gilded Age also saw the rise of magazines, newspapers, mass media, pop-sci stuff, etc. So this wider array of published material, including visual stuff like maps and infographics could "win over" popular perception. This is nearly a century after the Haitian Revolution, so more and more people would have been able to witness and call out the contradictions and hypocrisies of these "civilized" nations, so scientific validation was important to empire's public image. (Think: 100 years prior, everyone witnessed widespread revolutions and slave rebellions, but now the European empires are still using indentured labor, expanding prisons, and growing even more powerful in Africa, etc. An outrage.)

Illustrations like this ...

It's people with power (or people with a vested interest in these institutions, people who aspire to climbing the social ladder, people who defend the status quo) looking around at the general state of things, observing all of the cruelty and precarity, and then using scientific discourses to concede and say "this was inevitable, this was natural" and not only that, but also "and this is good".

Related reading:

Peoples on Parade: Exhibitions, Empire, and Anthropology in Nineteenth-Century Britain (Sadiah Qureshi, 2011); The Earth on Show: Fossils and the Poetics of Popular Science, 1802-1856 (Ralph O’Connor); "Science in the Nursery: the popularisation of science in Britain and France, 1761-1901" (Laurence Talairach-Vielmas, 2011); Citizens and Rulers of the World: The American Child and the Cartographic Pedagogies of Empire (Mashid Mayar); "Viewing Plantations at the Intersection of Political Ecologies and Multiple Space-Times" (Irene Peano, Marta Macedo, and Collette Le Petitcrops); “Paradise Discourse, Imperialism, and Globalization: Exploiting Eden" (Sharae Deckard); "Forgotten Paths of Empire: Ecology, Disease, and Commerce in the Making of Liberia's Plantation Economy" (Gregg Mitman, 2017); Imperial Debris: On Ruins and Ruination (Ann Laura Stoler, 2013)

Fairy Tales, Natural History and Victorian Culture (Laurence Talairach-Vielmas, 2014); Mining the Borderlands: Industry, Capital, and the Emergence of Engineers in the Southwest Territories, 1855-1910 (Sarah E.M. Grossman, 2018); Pasteur’s Empire: Bacteriology and Politics in France, Its Colonies, and the World (Aro Velmet, 2022); "Shaping the beast: the nineteenth-century poetics of palaeontology" (Talairach-Vielmas, 2013); In the Museum of Man: Race, Anthropology, and Empire in France, 1850-1960 (Alice Conklin, 2013); Inscriptions of Nature: Geology and the Naturalization of Antiquity (Pratik Chakrabarti, 2020)

#abolition #ecology #landscape #colonial #imperial #haunted #modernity #temporal #indigenous #multispecies #temporality

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previousloversandmuses · 1 year

Text

FREQUENCY: Episode 1 - A Soldier Boy Story

FREQUENCY: A Soldier Boy Story

EPISODE 1: “Frequency”

WORD COUNT: 5,118

PAIRING: Soldier Boy X Reader

WARNINGS: (NSFW) Mentions of suicide, mental illness, rape, and self harm. Foul language. Mentions of sex, or sexual innuendos.

A/N: This story is dark, and covers mature themes. The main character, as well as other major characters, are offensive in nature, and may offend some people. Please peruse with caution, and remember that this is fiction. Reader discretion is advised. Please message me for any questions, comments or concerns.

This is introductory, we do not meet Soldier Boy just yet. Please excuse any grammar or spelling errors.

Masterlist

I was pumped full of V at Vought Laboratories when I was born. My mother took a thousand dollar bribe for some dope in exchange for her newborn daughter. They placed me in a NICU unit, hooked my veins up, and hoped for the best.

The scientists were worried at first. I showed no physical symptoms of compound V. There were no laser eyes, no fire aura, no electricity flowing from my fingertips. They kept their tabs on me. Ran test after test. Colic. They said I had colic. I cried over everything. There was no consolation. They thought I was a lost cause. Ready to pretend like this test subject never existed. A late term abortion ex-utero. Thank God a few of the doctors started catching on.

It was door slams. Creaking floors. Burners boiling. Cleaning supplies. Microwave lunches. Music from a few floors down. The overhead lights. Open windows. High blood pressure. A baby crying. Tuna fish sandwiches. Bleh. Spoiled milk. Fireworks. Gunshots from the Police Academy in upstate New York. Ship horns. Cigarette smoke. Low blood sugar. An earthquake in Siberia. Nuclear detonation testing in the Pacific ocean. Car horns. Rush hour.

See, they didn’t notice my abnormalities because they weren’t seen by the naked eye. They weren’t paralyzing mind tricks. Compound V took every ounce of my five senses and shot them up with gasoline, tequila, adrenaline, cocaine. A high voltage defibrillator to my nervous system. As if my sinuses were stapled open. As if my eardrums were plucked out by tweezers. I heard everything, even with my ears plugged. I saw everything, even with my eyes closed. I tasted everything, even with my mouth shut. I was everything, everywhere, all at once, and for an infant, that can be overwhelming.

As I grew older, I was still kept in the lab until they were fully aware of my capabilities. Until they had studied every strand of DNA in my body.

I didn’t have super strength, I didn’t have superpowers. They made sure of that. One time they strapped me to a chair, sticking ekgs on my chest. I passed out before they could even run a test. I could never stand velcro.

Frequency is what I was called. My supe name, at least. They called me Freaq for short. Which I guess if you think about it, isn’t really a lie.

My hearing was my most valuable asset. What’s this radio frequency? They’d ask. Can you make out the voice in this? Is this a bomb or just a backpack? Listen in on this meeting. I need collateral. We have to know everything that’s said. Is this person lying? Is that person lying? Keep in mind, these were the tasks I was given at around six or seven. It was easier for them then too because I was so small. I would slide into the air vents and stay as quiet as I could, absorbing as much information as possible. I’d spew it back to them like a pawn.

Teen years the work really started. They’d be strong in their threats to others. People would get hurt. People would have their lives ruined. I’d spy on them for weeks, getting all the information I could. Listening in on their most intimate conversations. Their most profound, and personal moments. I’d spew it all back to Vought. And they’d use what I’d told them as collateral.

Thanks to my hearing, thanks to my sight, I was able to snipe better than any experienced veteran. I never even needed to use the scope. For the most part I would snap my fingers, or click my tongue, and sense the vibration of the objects around me. I’d shoot whatever I needed to right between the eyes. Everytime. To this day I still can't get the sound of hot, metal rounds, piercing through brain matter out of my head. Me stealing the life of a defenseless victim who unluckily got caught up in the mess. Even when I plugged my ears, screaming, nothing kept me safe from the deafening silence from their no longer beating heart. I was never caught.

I had been cursed. By God? By Vought? Who knows. Mothers mourning the loss of their stillborn child. Smelling the cancer in people who walked by me on the street, on the way to pick up their young child from school. Gang violence. Break ups. A father beating his son to a pulp for not taking out the trash that day. Suicide. A young woman, screaming, begging for him to stop. This takes a toll on a young kid. No one should be forced to listen to the struggles of others, we have enough to deal with on our own. Hell, I’m sure if I focused hard enough, I could've heard the sound of my mother crying out to me, sullen and alone, from her perch on a rundown curbside.

I had lost it, as expected. Cutting, acting out, pathetic suicide attempts. It got bad enough to where they had to isolate me off somewhere in Appalachia. Somewhere I could enjoy the peace and quiet. The nurturing lull of nature. Waterfalls, and animals, and the rustle of trees in the Eastern winds. Native music, and arts and crafts underneath a big, red harvest moon. I could see every crater out that far in the mountains. There was no light pollution. That was always the best part. If I looked hard enough, sometimes I could see Saturn's rings without a telescope. Of course they’d still call my handlers whenever they needed me, they weren’t that concerned for my wellbeing. But hey, at least I no longer had to deal with the sounds of the city on my off days.

I had learned to resent Vought, which is understandable, and honestly a given. I mean what did they expect? I was cursed, to say the least. Every day was torture, and unpredictabe, even when I was all the way out in West Virginia. Some nights I’d hear a distant shotgun fire, and torpedo into the heart of a beautiful buck, with a sleepy, quiet family waiting for him a few hundred yards away in a clearing.

I wanted nothing more than to watch these people crash and burn. To listen to each and every one of them take their last breath. The only deaths I could, or would ever enjoy. The sweetest sound I’d ever heard. I could get off to it. And I would surely avenge that. That was a promise.

After I turned eighteen I did end up getting a place back in the city. Which is where I am now. I cope with the overstimulation in my desperation for revenge. A desperation so wild and intense I would do anything. I would do absolutely anything to get what I want.

The Homelander would tour the labs after his graduation every once and a while as I was growing up. He’d be intimidating. Stiff, and brooding. No one would ever amount to the power he held. None of us would ever become the specimen that he was. I’d look up at him with innocent, wide eyes. His body always sounded different than everyone else's. His organs moved with a horsepower. It was like his body took diesel. No one's insides ever sounded like his. I could feel the vibration of his cells dividing from half a mile away. He was so enchanting to a little gifted girl like me.

“What’s this one?”

“Heightened senses, Sir.”

“All five?”

“Yes. We find her hearing very promising.”

He had hummed in response. Staring back at me with an emptiness I’d get to know very well. He had only gotten worse since then.

After I had moved back to New York, Vought would still use me on occasion, but for the most part they just saw me as damaged goods. I was invited to parties, and events multiple times, and got paraded around like a fucking circus freak. Advisors would bestow me upon rich donors. “Ooh, let me stand across the room! I want you to guess what I’m saying.” I’d shake my head. There was no “guessing”. It was a stupid game if you ask me. They could have stood twenty miles away and it still wouldn't be much of a challenge.

I had felt him before I heard him.

“Repetitive, huh?”

I didn't even have to look at the donor across the room to know he was saying "orange". He had the audacity to whisper too. Your money paid for this, I thought. Don’t you have a little faith in me being more than a party trick?

“Yes, actually.” I said, turning around to see the symbol of patriotism.

“I didn’t know you had moved back to the city.”

I looked at him with the same eyes I did all those years ago, and he still stared back at me just as broken.

“Yeah, I’ve been here for a few months now.”

He placed a hand on my lower back. My skin tingling from the brush of his augmented fingertips. He walked me over to one of the large windows that overlooked the skyline. I had worn a tight dress, which he had taken notice of.

“You’re not so little anymore.”

I had laughed at that.

“If I’m honest I can’t remember the last time I felt like it.”

He looked at me with a gleam of recognition. Realizing we weren’t so different. Sure, he could break my spine if he clapped too hard, but we were both stripped of the innocence we so desperately needed. John and I were never friends, we were just two children starved of loving parental affection.

And now, a few years later, I sit perched on his lap. My legs falling off either side of his sturdy frame. His hands don't touch me. But he is smiling softly. His eyes glazed over and heavy. His nose rubs mine as I whisper to him. My hips moving up and down on the heat of his crotch.

“Do you like what I’m wearing?”

He tilts his head down, his thumbs sliding across the trim of my black lace underwear. He hums, a goofy smile spreading across his face.

“I do,” I brush my lips against his, his teeth catching on the skin of my cupid's bow. “Although, I can’t help but think there is an ulterior motive here.”

My eyes shoot open, glaring at him. He's still smiling at me.

“I needed you…” I’m an awful liar.

He takes a deep breath in through his nostrils. Placing two big hands under my ass while he fixes his posture on the chair. He cradles the back of my head, lacing rough fingers into my hair. Pulling me back until I’m looking him in the eyes.

“What do you want?” He asks plainly. I sigh, rolling my eyes, trying to pry myself out of his grip. “You know this doesn’t work on me.”

He pulls me tighter, my hair follicles hanging on to my scalp by sheer luck. I whimper, the feeling knocking the breath out of me for a second.

“You come up here to see me, of all people, wearing this pretty little get up.”

He uses his other hand to pull my lower half closer into his, wrapping his arm around my waist. My ribs could turn to dust under this vice grip.

“You know what I’m here to ask for.”

“We’ve been over this so many times now.” He tsks at me. “Tell me what’s in it for me, and I’ll consider it.”

I glare at him. This routine is like clockwork by this point. I come to him with a plan for revenge and he shoots me down everytime. I know he agrees with me, I know he wants it just as bad as I do, but this is his leverage. He can be so fucking evil.

“Does the idea of getting back at these people not give you a hard on?”

He laughs at me, releasing his vice grip. I pull myself off of him, walking over to my jeans discarded on the floor.

“Now why would I, of all people, want to get back at Vought?”

I pull my tight jeans up, one leg at a time. He walks over to me, looking down as I button my pants.

“You would be fine without them. Fuckin’ buddhist monks have your photo up at shrines in the himalayas for Christs sake.”

I walk past him, grabbing my shirt from off the ground. He slaps my ass as I pass by.

“I’ll think about it.” He suggests. I roll my eyes- he won’t.

I pull my hair out of the neckline of my shirt. He stands in front of me, his gloved fingers pulling out my necklace. He adjusts it so the clasp is back where it needs to be. I look up at him through my lashes.

“Just the scientists that worked with Vogelbaum.” I whisper.

He brings his hand up to my chin, pinching it with his thumb. He places an out of character, gentle, chaste kiss to my lips.

“...And Stan Edgar, and all the other top Vought executives…” He teases.

“No!” I pout.

“Yes,” He taunts. “And last time I checked you are perfectly capable of taking these people out all by yourself, one at a time, without ever getting caught.”

He's trying to pull it out of me. He knows why I need his help. He’s so smug. He wants to hear me say it.

“Why do you really want my help?” He torments.

I sigh, moving to grab my purse from off the chair in the corner of his living room. He stops me, gripping my wrist tight into his hand. I glare at him. Anything but this, I think. I would never beg him for anything…but I do.

“The gala…in the Summer,” I mumble, defeated. “Everyone will be there, even the scientists.”

“Ah, yes, the gala. Being applauded for their efforts in the creation of Temp V.” He smiles. “That wasn’t so hard was it?”

I shake my head, making my way back over to his front door. He doesn’t stop me this time, too satisfied in his successful grilling.

“One of us has lasers for eyes, John, and it’s not me.”

“Why would I want to ruin my own party?”

Before I leave I turn to him, pointing my finger. My eyes welling up with tears. Why does he do this? Hes been fucked over by Vought more than I have.

“All of them are going to be there at the same time. In the same building. We could end this, we could fucking destroy these monsters, once and for all.”

He glowers at me.

“Compound V made me a hero.” He argues.

“Compound V made you despicable,” I counter. “You’d finally be a real man without them.”

I open the door, him tripping at my heels.

“Vought made me a God.”

“Made you a sad fuckin’ excuse for one. Come find me when you grow a pair of balls.”

I slam the door in his face.

I met Billy Butcher at a speakeasy a little over a year ago. He was downing a bottle of whiskey at the bar. It was only 2PM.

“William, I’m assuming,” I reached my hand out for a shake. “A little early for the bottle don't you think?”

He looked down at my gesture, ignored it, then slammed his booze back on the counter.

“Freak, I'm assuming?” He had added an obnoxious emphasis to the ‘K’.

I nodded, pursing my lips. Extending my awkward, unshook hand back into my pocket.

He reeked, and I mean, reeked. His insides had smelt like a nuclear bomb had gone off. His liver was already in the later stages of decomposition, to say the least. His eyes were sunken in, and dark around the edges. Irritated too. Like he'd been rubbing them raw.

I took note of his entire presence, leaning over to the left a tad to take in all sides of his bloated, depressed body. I looked closer. His right ear was oozing what looked like old blood. It was black, like tar. It didn’t smell like blood though. It was pungent and harsh, almost similar to ammonia- radiation, maybe? The nuclear bomb inside him, I considered.

“You have black rot coming out of your ear,” I stated plainly. He had reached his hand over to wipe it. “It’s disgusting, whatever it is. I’ve never smelt anything like that before. You should really think about getting that checked out.”

He ignored me, picking up a napkin, and wiping his tar-coated hand on it.

“Let's get down to business, ey?”

“Alright.” I added. Breathing through my mouth wouldn’t have helped either, I thought.

“Me and the boys are going to Herogasm.”

“Congratulations. I’d recommend cleaning those ears out before you go.” I said, unimpressed.

He rolled his eyes, then looked around the room. No one was in there besides a bartender, and an old man asleep at a rounded booth. He leaned in closer to me.

That's when I caught it- a familiar scent. I couldn’t put my finger on it. A certain chemical compound I remember smelling often during my recent visits to the tower.

“Look, to make a long story short, I got ten grand with your name on it, and a party infested with obnoxious supes. I need you to sit at high ground, and keep watch.”

“Why don’t you get one of your boys to do it?” I grill.

“None of ‘em have aim like you, sweetheart.” He said it with such a shit-eating grin.

I rolled my eyes, “I’m flattered, truly.”

He took a deep breath, getting even closer, I could feel his hot breath on my ear.

“We’re going to be...taking him out.”

I looked at him, hard. I squinted my eyes. Listening in on his slow, heavy heartbeat. His unrelenting, static blood pressure. He wasn’t lying, I thought. He knew better than to anyway.

“Good luck with that,” I chuckled, beginning to stand up to leave. Had he lost his mind? I thought. I didn’t have the time for this. Plus, thinking hard on it, I didn’t even know if I had wanted John to die. I had people to get revenge on, y’know?

“We have a weapon,” He added, yanking my arm back down, nearly pulling it out of its socket. “The same one that killed Soldier Boy.”

The blood had rushed out of my face then. He really was serious. I looked around, trying to focus on anything, but my thoughts were racing, and my eyes had gone cloudy.

“Want to know something even crazier?” He probed. “The weapon is Soldier Boy. The cunt was still alive. Had to fight a handful of Ivans to get the bastard out.”

“That's impossible,” I laughed, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. “Soldier Boy died in Nicaragua.”

“Ten thousand big ones for a few hours of your time, sweetheart.” He smiled.

I swallowed hard, grabbing his bottle from off the counter and taking a big swig.

“You have to make me a promise,” I held my finger in his face. “If homelander dies, you and your boys have to help me finish something.”

He put his hand out for a shake.

“Anything you need.” He grinned.

“Anything I need if he dies.” I nodded along, grabbing his hand, my mind off worrying, my eyes glazed over with fear.

“Anything you need when the cunt dies.”

And that’s when I had smelled it, the Temp V. My eyes widened at him. Now that explained why his organs were rotting. The bastard had been shooting up liquid radiation into his veins in a lame attempt to put up an equal fight. His grip tightened around mine, threatening to shatter my wrist.

“I’ll give you the address, you’ll need your own car. Don’t be seen by anyone.” He declared, beginning to stand up from his stool.

“I wasn't born yesterday,” I mocked. “And by the way, if you do any more of that Temp V, you can go ahead and sign your death certificate.”

As we all know, that plan never worked. Homelander survived, and Soldier Boy is off somewhere frozen solid, I’m assuming. I never ended up getting the chance to see either of them that day, my shitty car ended up breaking down on the side of the road only twenty miles out of the city. Maybe it was for the best, I thought. A lot of people died that day.

And so here I am, a year later, still willing to help him, but now for a different reason. If John wasn’t going to help me with my plan, Butcher and the boys surely will.

Butcher had told me to meet him at a sketchy apartment building in the Bronx, so here I was. Looking around, there isn't much to see. Piles of trash and hoards of rancid homeless people litter the streets. Gross, I think. Why can’t the city grant these invalids a communal shower or something? Doesn’t the mayor know some people can practically smell atoms?

Before I buzz in for him, I catch the wind and listen for their lingering voices upstairs. They are on the roof, and I think by the heartbeats I can count four- no- five. There are five of them, and one of them is definitely a woman. Her heart is delicate, small. But pumped full of V? I think. It thumps with an exertion only jacked supes would understand. Sounds like a panic attack waiting to happen, if you ask me.

“Any of you ever use one of these before?” A voice asks.

“Eh, maybe a rifle but not a scope.” Someone replies, an accent thick...present.

“Frenchie, hasn’t she had combat training?”

“Combat training, yes, but not a fucking sniper.”

“Butcher, would you come over here please? Hughie, would you grab him?”

A giant group of idiots, I think. Maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea after all. I pull my hands into a finger gun and shoot it into my open mouth. This is going to be a long night.

I walk over to the entrance, looking down at my phone. Butcher is taking too long to answer me. I slap the side of the code box, listening to the stops on the inside. A thicker metal, and rusted too. But I can still make it out. 1111? Really? No wonder everyone gets robbed on this side of town.

Typing in the code, I begin to saunter my way upstairs. I'm slouched over and panting by the time I reach the top floor. Man, it’s times like these where I wish I could’ve been V-blessed with some fucking stamina. Fuck you Vought. I slip my way out onto the rooftop. Everyone's heads fly around to see me as I walk towards the group.

“Could you guys be any fucking louder?” I ask, walking right up to Butcher. He smiles down at me.

“Glad to see you’re in a good mood this evening.”

I roll my eyes, “Too bad I could smell your insides rotting from half a mile away.” I pat him on the shoulder as I walk by, heading towards the man at the edge of the roof with a rifle.

“Butcher, what the fuck?” The scrawny one asks.

“He doesn’t bring too many girls around, huh?” I say.

“Who the fuck is this?” The French one questions.

Butcher smiles as I go up to the man holding the gun. I shoo him away, squatting down, and placing my finger on the trigger. I squint my eyes and look down the scope.

“Which one is it?” I ask.

Butcher comes over, squatting next to me, as well as the guy who was holding the gun before.

“Blue tie,” Says butcher. “Bad haircut.”

“Balding or buzzed?”

“Neither. Short mullet.” He adds.

I nod, and suddenly stand up, moving to another spot on the rooftop.

“What the fuck are you doing? I just spent two hours setting that spot up!”

“The glass is bulletproof,” I state. “Can’t you see the reflection?”

I start laughing then, “I mean, can’t you hear the way it sounds as the wind gusts off of it? There might as well be a sign.”

He looks at me quizzically, they all do. It usually takes a second for most people to recall my pathetic existence.

“This window here must've just been replaced, because it’s temporary. Not bulletproof, and frankly, not strong wind proof either. This thing is just asking to be shattered.”

I crouch down again, squinting my eyes, and looking down the scope. I hold my hand up, snapping quietly. In fractions of a second, I can feel, hear, and see sound waves bouncing off of every nearby surface. They rush through the open air towards the glass window, bouncing off, only then to reverberate around the inside. It wraps around the target's stature like a sheet in the wind. Bullseye. I pull the trigger, hitting him directly between the eyes. We all watch as all hell breaks loose within whatever party I just ruined.

I stand up, handing the rifle over to Butcher. I wipe my hands off on my pants.

“We have five minutes before a swat team barrels up here. Do you mind if we talk in private?”

Butcher nods, he and I both begin to walk downstairs. Everyone grabs their stuff, and from the scrawny boy I hear a snap, like he's finally put his finger on it.

“Frequency!” Ego boost, I think. “God, that makes so much sense.”

That recognition hasn’t happened in a while. I'm embarrassed to say I’m beginning to blush.

The french one nods to him, “A freak of fucking nature. That is a hell of a gift.”

A hell of a curse, he means. If only they knew the half of it. The boys chuckle as Butcher and I disappear into a dark alley. There are sirens in the distance.

“I need a favor.” I say, stopping and turning to him. The only thing illuminating us is a musty street light. It's hazy and orange. He looks down at me with damp skin. His body is trying it’s hardest to detoxify itself. There is no use.

“What's that, love?” He chuckles, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He brings one up to his lips, inhaling and lighting. He gestures the pack to me. I shake my head. I always end up tasting the pesticides.

“Look, I’ve asked everyone. You and your boys are the only thing I have left.”

“Well, spit it out then.” He coughs.

I take a deep breath, looking down at my shoe and kicking a little rock with the toe of it.

“I want revenge on Vought.”

“Get in line sweetheart.” I roll my eyes at him, why does everyone always say that?

“But listen, I have the perfect idea,” I explain. “Over the summer they will be throwing a huge event in celebration over the success of Temp-V. I’m sure almost, if not all of the major Vought scientists will be there. Oh, and executives too. And all of the supes we all hate as well.”

He watches me as I talk, just smoking his cigarette. He’s hard to read these days. His expression is always pained. Not surprising though, I can literally hear his body decomposing.

“I just- this is my best chance to get back at these people for cursing me. For making my life, and everyone else's life a living hell. Think about it, you can avenge your wife!"

“Why don’t you ask the big man in the sky?” He scoffs.

“I did, he said no.”

“Well, there is your answer from me.”

“I’m sorry?” I glare at him, appalled. “Last time I checked all you wanted to do was avenge your wife! Say 'fuck you' to Vought, and to Homelander. Why do you suddenly have cold feet?”

He reaches around me, placing an arm on my shoulder. He begins to walk me down the alleyway.

“If the cunt says no, then it’s a no. We show up there ready to blow a crater into the ground, he’ll be the first to know. You know better than I do that he ain’t gonna like it. Also, we got ties to the FBI and the CIA. The last thing they need is for their agents that are integrated within Vought to be a part of Supe 9/11.”

“You’re telling me the CIA isn't looking for an excuse to destroy these bastards?”

“They are,” He smiles. “Just in a way that won’t have a trail leading back to ‘em.”

We’re at the opening of the alley now. Police cars fly by as they respond to the murder I just committed a few blocks away. I should be in the clear, I’m hearing a lot of “Arab Supe-Terrorist” static over the vibrations of police radio.

“Get Soldier Boy back, thatll make it even easier for everyone. They can just blame it on him.”

“That’ll come back on ‘em too, Love. They have him hidden with a frostbitten dick at a military compound. If the cunt got out on their terms they’d never hear the end of it.”

Huzzah, I think. Now that is a good idea. I go to shake his hand. If he's gonna reject me too, I guess there is only one thing left to do.

“Where'd they end up keeping him anyway? My bets on upstate.” I question.

He squeezes my hand tight, smiling at me mischievously.

“I know better than to tell ‘ya that, sweetheart.”

I laugh, not genuinely, more out of frustration by this point.

“Right,” I say, beginning to walk off in the direction of my subway. “Let me know if you are ever need any of my services. You know where to reach me.”

He walks off the opposite way, his radioactive stench leaving a trail behind him. The plot thickens. Soldier Boy is upstate alright. And if no one is willing to help me, then I’ll just have to do it myself.

Masterlist | Episode 2

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy #soldier boy smut #soldier boy fanfic #soldier boy the boys #the boys fanfic #billy butcher #hughie campbell #homelander x reader #homelander smut #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #billy butcher x reader

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honeybeezgobzzzzz · 10 months

Text

🕷️ A Melody of Spiders: Chapter One

A Melody of Spiders: You always tiptoed around your surly, grumpy boss Miguel O’Hara. Certainly after you had inadvertently fallen in love with him and didn’t feel like having your heart crushed. Or your workplace environment made awkward. Too bad your latest mission comes with a chemical surprise.

Warnings: Language, Jungles, Sneaky Shit, Unedited!

To Note: Miguel O’Hara x Spider!Reader.

Word Count: ~2.1k

Masterlist | Next

How was it possible that you were sweating already?

You were on an Earth, Earth-311 to be precise, on a mission with Miguel to track down some technology that an anomaly had gotten a hold of. Miguel had wanted to go alone, but you had put your foot down. The hulking man had tried to scare you off with his blood red gaze, but you had only dug your heels in. Miguel ultimately relented as you were know for your stealth, and ability to blend into shadows. You were discreet. Like right now, when you were traipsing your way through a jungle to get into the top secret lab on this earth.

The jungle was a natural habitat for a spider, but not for you. You didn’t like sweating. You didn’t like crossing jungles with other creepy crawlies (a bit hypocritical considering you were a spider). You also didn’t really like hot, muggy weather. It was almost hypocritical that you had willingly come to this earth. Slithering your way across a branch, you peered at the entrance of the laboratory.

“Lyla, signature on the anomaly?” You asked the AI. The AI popped up from your watch.

“Inside, Miguel is currently taking out the east wing guards, he’s going after the anomaly himself. The device is on the opposite end of the lab. Disarming the security system for the ventilations.” You eyes searched for the nearest ventilation exit point, and found one. Swinging yourself over to the exit, you silently slipped your way into the laboratory ventilation.

You found ventilation shafts the best way to get around without notice, and often took refuge in such places when your social battery became too much. Crawling your way through the confined space, your senses altered you to each and eery motion detector you came across, and Lyla disabled it as you approached. Slinking your way through the lower level air vents, you came across the vent that opened up to the room where the device was stored. It was stored under lock and key, and surrounded by many different types of sensors. Most prominent, the floor and wall sensors. It was practically set up to be triggered by a spider person! But you weren’t just a spider person, you were Recluse.

So you slipped from the vent and landed light on your feet, practically weighing nothing. Certainly not enough to trigger the floor sensors. Skittering across the laboratory, your eyes gave the locked device another once over, picking up all the different warnings you could set off if you weren’t up to par. With a little finagling and the help of Lyla, you bypassed the tight security and swiped the device right out from under the labs nose. With the device safety strapped to your body and glued with your spider silk, you retraced your footsteps hoping for a clean get away.

“Y/N, we’ve got trouble,” You froze in place, concerned that you had tipped off an alarm without realizing it.

“What is it?” You asked, expanding your spider senses. Nothing was out of place, and no one was alert.

“It’s Miguel, the anomaly managed to expose him to a chemical.”

“And it got through his suit?” You questioned, tapping your watching to pull up the map of the facility and plan a route to Miguel.

“Chemicals were never an issue given his anatomy, I will have to run some tests to ascertain what kind of chemical he was exposed to.”

“Tell him I’m on my way.” Lyla copied that and went quiet for a few moments, then her hologram face reappeared on your watch.

“He’s telling you to, under no circumstances, go to his location.”

“Well you can tell him to shove his reply up his ass,” Lyla coughs, covering a worried laugh.

“Yeah, I think I won’t but seriously, Y/N, it doesn’t look good.” At Lyla’s words, you sped up your trek across the laboratory. It didn’t take you long to track down Miguel, and you were surprised by the sight of your leader slumped against a wall, suit ripping and glitching.

“Shit,” You breathed out, dropping from the ventilation duct to the floor next to Miguel. You stopped his stagger by wrapping an arm across his back and supporting his weight. “What the hell happened?”

“I told you to leave,” Miguel spit out at you, a few curses slipping from his lips in is native tongue. He tried to wrenched himself from your grasp to stop the searing ache in his body from overtaking his self control. He could already smell you. You had always smelled nice, hints of varying floral, now your scent was touched by a saline quality. He wanted to lick your skin to see if you tasted as divine as you smelled.

“You’re compromised and I’m not leaving you behind. You’re barely standing as is,” You told him, knowing that he was probably giving you his blood red glare at the moment. More Spanish curses left his lips followed by nonsensical complaints as you shot a web out and swung you both out of the laboratory.

It was agony to be near you.

Miguel had been through a lot in his life, but nothing compared to the prickling fire that burned within his veins and the intense sexual need to have you. When he had first been exposed to the chemical, the only reaction caused was an uncomfortable fever type reaction. He could handle that. But then other parts of his body began reacting. Miguel was restless. Agitated. There was a sharp pain that burst from nerves all over his body, periodically making his muscles twitch.

Now add you and your bewitching scent? The massive man was using every ounce of control he had to stop himself from turning on you in a heartbeat and fucking you like an animal. Whatever had been in that chemical, had made his attraction to you, the reclusive spider person within his society, a thousand times worse. Even with you dragging him though the hallways of the spider society, barking at others to move it, all he could think about was bending you over the nearest surface and burying his throbbing cock into you delicious smelling cunt.

Dragging the massive man into medical, you left him slumped against a bed while running to a station to find supplies.

“Lyla, get a scan of him while I draw blood to get a work up of what exactly he was exposed to.” You spoke urgently, robbing a phlebotomy kit and returning to the shaking man. While you tore into the phlebotomy kit and scrambled to find the needle and appropriate tubes. Turning to address Miguel, you were not expecting to meet a gaze filled with anger. “Arm,” You promoted, reaching for the one nearest to you. He snatched his arm back as his mask de-pixilated and then bared his teeth at you.

“Leave, I can do it alone.”

“We don’t have time for this, Miguel,” You returned, yanking down your own mask. “Give me your arm!”

This time he lashed out at you with a snarl, his eyes wild with a kind of tension you’d never seen before.

“Dios! Déjame en paz!” (Leave me alone!) Miguel snarled at you, shoving you away from him. You stumbled back, no expecting such hostility from him now. He was stubborn, you knew that, and grumpy, but not unreasonable.

“Miguel you need—”

“Do you not get it woman!? I don’t want your help!” He snarled at you, his teeth fully bared and eyes crimson with anger. gone was your survey boss and in place was the animal that slumbered within him.

“Fine then,” You stated crisply. “But I’ll be back to check on you in half an hour. If you’re not better? I don’t care how much of a fit you throw I’m taking your blood and running an analysis.” With that you turned on your heel and stomped away, planning on turning in the device still strapped to your body. Once you did that, you’d write the mission report and wait in a vent or empty hall until his thirty minutes were up.

So you turned in the device, and wrote up the report on the mission, leaving the notes a ‘pending’ because you were going to have to add to it once you figured out what the chemical Miguel had been exposed to. While you typed, your fingers angrily clacked against the glass touch screen, airing out your current mood. Miguel had been getting increasingly restless as of late. Not to mention short with his words. He wasn’t the most talkative, but he never to short it you like that. He never physically shoved you away from him.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Lyla spoke, rousing you fro your inner thoughts. You glanced up to her hologram.

“Is he doing what I asked?” You questioned, ignoring her statement.

“Yes, so to speak. He went to his office, but I did get him to take a look sample… it’s running now.” You made a pleased sound in your throat and went back to typing.

“Y/N,”

“What?”

“I know things have been tense between you and Miguel as of late, but it’s not because he doesn’t like you.”

“He doesn’t like anyone,” You corrected the AI. “You know that. The most I get from him is respect, but it seems that even that has run out.”

“He’s just… dealing with some things right now and that chemical only enhanced it.” Lyla tried to explain to you. “He’s frustrated with himself.”

You narrowed your eyes and gave the AI a screwed look.

“Do you know something about the chemical that Miguel was exposed to?” You asked suspiciously. The AI had to. She was smart. Incredibly smart. Her database was the best in the known universes so there was no doubt in your mind that she knew something about Miguel’s predicament.

“Look,” Lyla started, “All I can say is that the chemical is enhancing what is already there and it’s driving him a little crazy… okay?”

“So it’s enhancing his irritation with me, great.” You sighed, your heart feeling heavy in your chest. While you prided yourself on keeping your relationships entirely professional, you couldn’t exactly help the fact that you most certainly fell in love with one Miguel O’Hara.

Lyla wanted to face palm herself, well she was face pacing her servers cause holy hell these two were dancing circles around each other and entirely oblivious to mutual affections. They were being idiots in love? Fine. The AI was going to give them a little push. It wasn’t like this little chemical mishap would kill anyone…

“Oh dear, Miguel’s heart rate appears to be crashing…” You were out of your seat and sprinting towards his office before Lyla could even finish her sentence. “Well, I am going to get an earful tomorrow but in the mean time, I think I’ll make sure that Miguel’s office is soundproof.” The AI mused, fizzling out of view.

Miguel’s heart rate appears to be crashing…

You were in a panic over Lyla’s words, sprinting as fast as you could through the spider society to get to Miguel’s office. You one you shouldn’t have let the larger man bully you into leaving him alone, not in that condition, not when he was clearly suffering from severely debilitating side effects. You had seen the shakes, the involuntary muscle movements, increased perspiration… it had been foolish to leave him alone.

You use your spider silk to sling shot yourself up to his office floor. His office door was closed, but you could hear pained grunts and labored breaths. Well at least he was still breathing! You barged in, eyes wild and searching for the massive Spiderman. Your eyes caught sight of Miguel hunched over on the floor next to his desk. Your senses told you he was in bad shape. High fever. High heart rate. A surging chemical in his veins. You dismissed the thought of Lyla’s odd comment about him crashing since his heart was clearly working.

You rushed over and knelt down on one knee, activating your watch to do a medical scan. Something wasn’t right.

“You stubborn idiot,” You grumbled, your fingers reaching up brush strands of damp brown hair out of his face. Your watch beeped and several lines appeared, telling you that the lab analysis was finished and ready for viewing. Just as you took your eyes off Miguel to review the lab work to see if there were any flags, crimson eyes opened.

You’d been the last thing Miguel had been thinking of when his mind went foggy, and you were the first he thought of when he woke up. Your smell. You smelled so delicious. That painful urge to rip at your spider suit, scrape his teeth along your skin, bury his cock into your body, was back. He couldn’t help himself and lunged.

Date Published: 7/14/23

Last Edit: 7/14/23

Masterlist | Next

#across the spider verse #spiderman #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderman #atsv miguel #miguel x you #miguel x y/n #miguel o'hara #spider man: across the spider verse #miguel spiderverse

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yersina · 7 months

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a linguist plays chants of sennaar (pt 4)

[pt 1] [pt 2] [pt 3] [x] [pt 5]

we're getting close to the end, guys!!

disclaimer: can't promise that i'll have any insights that a layperson wouldn't have, this is kinda just me thinking through the grammar of the language out loud haha.

this post covers the fourth language and will contain spoilers! it also assumes that you know what the symbols mean already.

additional note: i went and added alt text to my previous posts in this series! sorry for not having them before :)

numbers!!!!!!!!

before i get into anything else, i think i might as well start with numbers, which are the most unique part of this language and really leans into the portrayal of this society as mathematical and scientific lol. like the arabic numeral system, this number system is base 10, which we can see from the ruler. whether it’s base 10 or not isn’t super relevant to the gameplay or the language, i think?? except that it mimics the arabic numeral system, so it’s familiar to us. i am not a mathematician or logician or what-have-you, so i wouldn’t know—my expertise does not lie in this area lol

we only have evidence in the game for numbers with up to 4 digits (one on each side and end of the center line) so we don't know how the alchemists would've represented really big numbers. however, the placement of the four numerical digits around the central line suggests to me that this language might have a system that counts by four digit placements, rather than three. (to clarify: in western cultures, we often count and represent numbers in groups of three: thousand (1,000), million (1,000,000), and so on, with a new word for each set of three digit places. in many east asian languages, large numbers are represented in groups of four instead (examples that came to mind were chinese, japanese, and korean, but that’s just what i’m personally familiar with; there certainly might be others). in chinese, we have 万 (10,000) and 亿 (100,000,000), single words instead of “ten thousand” and “hundred million”. the word for million is “hundred-ten thousand” (百万).) since this language naturally seems to represent numbers in groups of four, that's my suspicion. unfortunately, the addition-only calculator in lab 2 only goes up to 9999, so we don't know what happens at five digits; my best guess is that the center line changes (maybe becomes two lines instead of just one, since one line also represents 0?), but obv there's no guarantee.

moving on from numbers, this language is relatively consistent when it comes to visual representation of linguistic categories: verbs have an open circle, locations have the sideways u/semi-circle deal, and people have a triangle-plus-line element to them. interestingly, “fear” once again is more of a noun than a verb in this language in terms of appearance. at this point, i’m inclined to think that this a quirk of the developers, rather than the language; even though fear is often used as a verb in the language itself, its appearance denotes that it’s primarily a noun, which may indicate that the game developers also thought of it as a noun first and verb second.

other interesting combinations of elements/radicals in the language include “mine”, which combines the radical for location and the triangular feature of scientific elements/materials (i.e, “the location where you can find materials”). the word for “seek/want” and “laboratory” share a radical, which suggests that that radical means something like “answer” or “curiosity” or something like that. another fun thing i noted is that the word for “alchemist” shares a similar shape to “i/me”, which might be indicative of a thought like “i am an alchemist”, and that those two concepts are linked, culturally or historically. i also think it’s interesting that “fire” and “fear” visually look more similar to each other than the other nouns—again, could possibly indicate something about how the alchemists conceptualize them? they obviously live in an environment where they encountered monsters that were scared of fire, and they in turn were scared of the monsters—i wouldn’t be surprised if it were the case that these were connected in that way.

i’ve been trying to figure out if this language has a particular pattern when it comes to representing words with an open circle vs dot, but so far i can’t find anything. might just be random/artistic choice!

this language once again returns to the pattern of being SVO, with plural suffixes rather than prefixes like the warrior language. in fact, i would say that grammatically, especially in terms of sentence structure, the warriors and the alchemists seem to be the most similar. no verb-initial languages in this game i’m afraid, haha.

one more language to go!!

#sina rambles #sina plays chants of sennaar #chants of sennaar #linguistics #language

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hwaightme · 1 year

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The Chemistry of Christmas

❄️ pairing: hongjoong x fem!reader (+implied woosan) ❄️ genre: fluff, christmas, opposites attract, mutual pining ❄️ summary: How could two people with such different views hope for the same thing? You, a logical and ambitious professional hiding a torrent of emotion within just to pave your future. Kim Hongjoong, your kindhearted and gentle friend and co-worker, who wants nothing more than to live in the moment. In this battle against time counting down to Christmas, will you be able to find your forever and make your wish come true? ❄️ wordcount: 10.6k ❄️ warnings/tags: language, explicit mention of alcohol, some get drunk, suggestive (very much so at times so minors please be mindful), ateez is a research group, christmas getaway, reader is ambitious and got that powerful energy, shy hongjoong, opposites attract, tension, back and forth, woo tormenting hwa like no tomorrow, hj and reader are nanoscientists, a bit of a work au, lmk if anything else ❄️ a/n: hello everyone! I'd like to wish you all a very merry Christmas and thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and support you give. I am wishing for this celebration to bring you joy and adoration! I hope you enjoy this piece, and stay tuned for more to come! Reblogs, likes and follows always welcome <3

Magic in the air.

As though by a mysterious force, the city transformed in unison to a festive wonderland, much to the delight of its dwellers and visitors alike.

From the gorgeous trees to the intricate storefront decorations, to the aroma of sugar and spice travelling in the air from the cosy markets, the season was truly the one that kept on giving.

If that was not enough this year took things up a notch, with impressive snowfall for the majority of December. The quaint suburban neighbourhoods had come to look like miniatures from beloved fairy tale stories, while the high streets and city centre had taken on an astonishing glow. The temperatures kept on dropping, while the hearts of those around kept on getting warmer.

For you, Christmastime was most probably the best time of the year. You adored wishing merriness to the assistants at your favourite shops. Walking past the myriad of houses with wreaths, spotting Christmas trees glowing within and seeing people simply living in the miracle put a pep in your step. The exclusive beverages that were released just this time of year instantly were on your list to try, and never failed to cheer you up, ready for the day ahead.

And that was the secret behind how you came into work, beaming, in the depths of the ‘gloomy winter’, cheeks and nose flushed from the biting cold. The institute, where you were proud to be a fulltime researcher in the nanoscience department, could not escape from the cheer either and as you traversed the many corridors of your second home, the offices and laboratories bore hints of the season, be it in a stray bauble or bell on a door handle, or a bow pinned to a wall.

As you turned the corner, you did your research group’s usual routine of saluting the skeleton you permanently borrowed from the medicine department, now dressed up as Santa Claus. You were careful to not spill the tray of hot drinks you had picked up on the way as you completed the gesture. Noticing a couple more holiday cards set down on the floor under it, you hummed in approval. This was what academia was all about, folks. Slow and steady, you swiped your card on the scanner right above your office’s handle and followed with a practiced push down and shouldering of the door. This space was shared between you, and eight other fantastic researchers – all of you recent graduates, brought together by

The office was fairly large albeit bland, with space for nine desks – all in threes, with one to the far left against the wall, and two rows facing each other in the centre of the room. Each sported an ancient monitor and computer that were left unchanged because they still worked and were the only system that could be trusted with running the expensive and time-consuming simulations. A dramatic irony for any budding scientists-to-be who were all about innovation and equated research to being on a spaceship straight out of a science fiction movie. To the right was the ‘recreation station’ – a line of furniture collected from yard sales and second-hand shops, namely a duo of flimsy terrace chairs under the far window, a couch that had to undergo extensive treatment to get the stench of cigarettes out of it, and one of the better investments: a movable cupboard that housed kitchen paraphernalia and a microwave.

This was where you set down the tray, out of fear that if you were to tempt fate any longer, you were going to bring less than welcome floor decorations to the shared space. Besides, you did not want to be scolded by the resident cleanroom aesthetics activist, who was already giving you concerned glances from across the room. It was still surprisingly empty, given the time. You glanced at the clock on the wall, barely making out a 8:30AM on the dot behind the snowman face that someone taped on. You sure knew how to time your commutes down to a t. Right, time to get started.

“Good morning how is everyone doing?” you called out to the four men who had already arrived and were sleepily checking through their emails.

The chorus of greetings and friendly waves as they got out of what was a near trance was enough to remind you why you were grateful to be working here. Even on days when all of you were busy, or when life was continuously throwing stress tests, all you had to do was call out, and they would be there.

The youngest of the crew, Jongho, was quick to get up and saunter over to you. He looked expectantly at the drinks, while you took off your hat and ruffled your hair.

“Good morn’, Y/N, I see you are starting off early with the celebrations huh?”

“Never too early to pre-game, man, never too early. Here is your americano, by the way.” You turned to pick out the coffee, still piping, and passed it over to your colleague.

“Life saver, thanks.”

You watched in awe as he took a sip with a completely straight face, your own mouth feeling the ghosts of a burn. Fighting the shudder that was about to run down your body, you decided to unpack the carrier tray fully, and leave the rest of the drinks at their respective target desks. While doing so, two of your other close colleagues, Seonghwa and Yunho, approached you, pretending as though they were not about to snatch their beverages and run into hiding. You raised an eyebrow as Yunho did a little crab-like sidestep around you, having spotted his requested latte and wanting to reach for it.

“Go ahead, be my guest.”

“Thanks, and guess what, the Christmas crackers that had been delayed have arrived this morning!” he fist pumped the air as you thanked him for agreeing to sacrifice his apartment for any extra deliveries.

Once more, you turned to Seonghwa, who gave you an appreciative grin once you informed him that he was to receive a hot chocolate. Afterwards, you were quick to position the drinks on the respective four desks closest to you, saving your order and that of the man who was now standing before you, for last.

“Good morning, Y/N, thank you so much for this. Exactly what I needed.” He expressed, his musical voice washing over you.

“Good morning, Hongjoong.” You could not help but drop your voice into a half-whisper, unable to retain the previously more friendly and confident composure upon seeing his glinting eyes. Gazing at you as though, in that moment, you were the only one to exist in this space.

He pointed at the coat that you were yet to take off, inquiring “need help with that?”. You happily obliged.

He had to be the closest thing there was to an embodiment of benevolence. Ever since you had met him in your second year of university, him being your senior and assistant in one of your classes, you noticed just how natural it was for him to connect with others, make them feel seen, understood, and appreciated. He was the type of man to sacrifice time even for the smallest of troubles, and you had seen him staying late again, and again, to help your peers with their work, their projects, and on the odd occasion, life troubles.

You had been amazed his having never treated the evident exploitation in an outwardly aggressive manner, instead independently choosing to sit and answer question after question, treating them all equally and repeating himself without a single inkling of doubt that he was merely doing his job. Initially you decided that this was not for you to inquire into, Hongjoong being fully capable of figuring things out for himself as a hardworking and high-achieving student. But that decision had not lasted even an hour, as in the class you had discovered obvious signs of fatigue. When you had heard your peer question him about his personal life and he fell into an awkward silence, you took it as a green light to steal him away, practically dragging him out of the door and wildly tapping in numbers on the coffee machine. Coincidentally, it was also winter then.

Since that exact moment, you and Hongjoong had become partners in crime. You would never admit it out loud, but he had been at the forefront of your mind when choosing what you were going to do with your life after university, even though you had told yourself time and time again that there was no chance, and that you should reduce your feelings to the nanoparticles that you studied.

As much as Hongjoong was there for you, his altruism and innate ability to bring people together, to lead, had unintentionally put some distance between you. Not that he could notice. He was oblivious to how you yearned for even a minute more of his time. He was likely unaware of how he was making you feel as he helped you take off your coat, hanging it on the rack with indescribable gentleness. How you melted like a snowman in the sunlight at his small gestures, how he took great care to let you walk to your workspace first and followed you with the early morning brews. If you had to describe what he was to you, to put it simply, he was your Christmas.

In a way, he was the opposite of you. You were that loud, heart on your sleeve type, bouncing off the walls if the energy in the room was right and sinking into the darkest brooding if you were to sense it. For the most part, you had figured out how to convert this energy into high octane work fuel, and no matter if you were going up or down on the roller coaster that was life, you found a way to use it. Be it by burning the midnight oil and letting cortisol guide you writing your thesis (which you had scolded Hongjoong for before, but he had graduated by the time the honour was bestowed upon you, so he did not have to know), or by repeating that everything was going to turn out okay like a mantra. You laboured away at bending the natural twists and turns of the ride, which was so unlike Hongjoong, that you could not help but be drawn to him and his inimitable openness.

You were one to feel hard and deeply, no matter how hard you tried to supress it. And this was both a curse and a blessing. To your advantage, you could enjoy the small moments, like you and four of the eight wonderful people who you had the honour of calling your friends after some time working together, sitting in the quietude of a cosy office that acted as your base of operations. Much to your disadvantage, you were very acute to Hongjoong’s presence immediately to your right, as he pushed his seated form closer to you. The rolling chairs hit one another with a soft thud as he leaned further forward to position his elbow securely on the desk and rest his head on the palm of his hand.

“Are you looking forward to the party tonight?” for a split second his voice sounded almost desperate, as though he was searching for something, or seeking confirmation. Any worry that you might have caught on his features quickly dispelled, however, as you mirrored his position and responded, studying him.

“Of course, I am. Getting to celebrate my favourite season with my favourite people, what more could I ask for?” you were not going to mention that you were looking forward to seeing Hongjoong sporting an ugly Christmas sweater, as commanded by the mutually agreed dress code, though you had no doubt that he would be able to pull anything off. On Halloween he managed to make a Despicable Me minion-inspired costume look a bit too good.

“Probably for your secret Santa to have actually taken their job seriously this year around, unlike-”

“Hey, Mingi was… considerate.” You interjected but failed to make a strong point as you recalled the hilarious combination of a nachos packet and a box of tissues, wrapped in paper that insinuated it was suddenly your birthday.

Whilst Hongjoong had been mortified, and Mingi was stock still, ears burning, the rest of the group had a blast breaking down into a laughing fit that had returned many times over the evening. This selection had obviously been made just after an event three days before the exchange, when you had knocked into Hongjoong full force, making him spill distilled water over much of your top.

“If you say so, but I bet this year is going to be much more exciting,” he winked. Luckily, he did not spot you stiffen at the action, as he was momentarily distracted by a notification, alerting him of a meeting he had to attend soon.

“Do you know who my secret Santa is, by any chance?” you tried, fluttering your eyelashes in a playful manner. He hummed, and lightly shook his head in disapproval, though his lips were curling into an adorable smile.

“Ah, I cannot neither confirm nor deny that, besides why would I ruin the anticipation? Patience is a virtue, etcetera, etcetera.”

“Says the guy who literally tried to speed run the preparation of a colloidal solution.” Seonghwa chided, looking over from his seat at the two of you, causing Hongjoong to make a sharp turn in his chair and argue that ‘it was an experiment and that he wanted to see what would happen just once’.

This was the never-ending debate of your office, so intrinsic to its function that you all ended up agreeing to set aside parts of the official group budget and of any new funding for something you had deemed ‘chaos expenses’ or, as once kindly called by Yeosang when someone had tampered with the electron microscope, ‘dipshit insurance’. You laughed at the exchange between the oldest members of your group, an unbeknownst to you, sent a shimmering light into your brunette deskmate’s chest.

He would do anything to hear your melodic laugh, or to watch your features soften as you let go of any stress that had plagued you. Thus, he had taken great pains to work behind the scenes for you, be it intercepting some unnecessary paperwork or figuring out laboratory access times for the entire team so that you could have your favourite slots. Sure, these were acts that benefitted everyone, but only your ‘thank you Joongie’ remained with him. The first thing he had taken note about you was just how valuable time was for you. How you spent it, where you spent it, with whom. So, he did the best he could to try to give you time that, as of late, had become his worst enemy.

In a way, you were the opposite of him. Whilst Hongjoong was one to strive for attempting every single thing in the book that was to do with whatever his passion was at a given point in time, you were one to be highly selective and strategic in your decision-making. As soon as he had spotted you in that one class for which he tutored, you gave off the impression of someone who already had everything figured out, or at least carried themselves very well, head held high and prepared to fight for what you wanted.

On the days when he doubted himself, Hongjoong would refer to himself as a jack of all trades, but master of none. The jack who never quite got why you had asked for his help in tutoring you anyways, but oh how grateful he was. You had appeared beside him, a saving grace, when he was about to collapse after over twenty-four hours of no sleep, vision blurry, struggling to process a single phrase. He could put up a powerful front, sure, and when he had presented his research at conferences, or was a representative of the university, and then the institute at various exhibitions and open days he was commended for his eloquence and ability to draw a crowd in. But that was what it was – a front. As soon as he was back to his and Seonghwa’s shared apartment, he wanted nothing more than to curl up and enjoy a steaming cup of coffee and let his mind wander. Reassess his work, seek unique paths to innovation, imagine what discoveries lied out there, waiting for him. To him, ironically, science was an art.

In his eyes, you were what should be under the word ‘scientist’ or ‘researcher’ in the dictionary. Every bit a logistician, you were the goal setter, the ambitious future leader. Leaving the experimental work to your collaborators, you were one to seek rationality and clear-cut formulas, to describe phenomena once and for all. You were driven to find truth in mystery, and positioned yourself as someone who was patient, strong-willed and would not veer off a path you had your mind set on. He had observed that you were equally as selective with who you were to allow to be part of your closer social circle, and very clearly knew your likes and dislikes.

This was why Hongjoong was confident that his blooming feelings were one sided. It was a dreamer versus grounded realist situation, but the dreamer could not help but fall. And fall deep. If he had to describe you in the spirit of the season, you would be a winter night. Freshly fallen snow, illuminated by fairy lights strung on pines next to whimsical brick houses, from which peered the domesticated fashionistas, adorned by baubles and garlands. You were the silent night, calm and bright.

When he had drawn your name out of the Santa hat that San was approaching everyone with a mere three weeks ago, dread filled him to the brim. It was the first time, since he had come to terms with his not so platonic feelings towards you, that he was being given the chance to give you something. And he was not going to let this slide as a silly tradition that was meant to be there for laughs and eventually, for the gift. No, he wanted something bigger, something that would be valuable to you, or at least make you reminisce.

After a bombardment of your respective inboxes by yet another email chain from one of the seniors, both of you settled down to get to work, pausing only to greet the late comers who had collectively groaned in discontent, comically lamenting the now lukewarm drinks. As you typed you took glances at Hongjoong out of the corner of your eye as he reviewed some notes he stored in a tattered manila folder, delicate ring-adorned hands flicking through the pages. It was easy to fall for the undivided attention he was capable of giving. It was especially easy for you, being someone who could not stop rushing, with a permanent tunnel vision. This was why you loved Christmas, and at this time of year, wanted to believe in miracles.

Hongjoong could sense your intermittent observation with his half-turned body and prayed you would not notice the light nervous tremor he was battling to hide. Albeit it was barely there, like snowflakes ending their dance on warm gloved hands, it was enough to envelop him and make him lose sense, anchoring only to your strong and sanguine being. As he began to gather his belongings and gave you and his friends a light wave to signify his departure to meet with his supervisor, his mind travelled to tonight.

During the year when the entire group had begun working together, and moved into the office, the door of which he had just propped open, by a shared initiative and the lack of desire to drift home to their families earlier than necessary, they had organised a new tradition for themselves. A break from the regular holiday routine in the form of a friendly get-together, with specially curated Christmas playlists, movies, mulled wine (perhaps a little bit too much mulled wine), and every other practice or interpretation that they could think of. So far, there had only been two such events, but not a single one of the large friend group could imagine celebrating in any other fashion.

This year, the festivities were bound to be different for Hongjoong. This year he was finally not foolish enough to deny that all of his wishes were dedicated to you, and that he wanted to be more than background music, more than someone on the side lines to you. Though you sat side by side, saw each other more often than the comfort of your own homes, this type of closeness was not enough for him. Hongjoong could imagine a barrier between you and him, a construction of whosever doing. He was sure you did not need him.

Much as you were sure he had never attributed anything aside from common courtesy and platonic affection to you.

Both you and Hongjoong, unbeknownst to one another, were wishing for the same thing this Christmas.

There was a major change of setting for the party from last year, when the nine of you had been crammed into the apartment that San and Wooyoung shared. By a stroke of pure luck, an uncle of Seonghwa’s had decided to travel abroad for the entire duration of the holidays, and upon hearing that his nephew was to be celebrating with what was presented to him as ‘highly professional company’, offered to give free reign of a cottage outside of the capital to the group. Under Seonghwa’s strict supervision, of course, but that went without mention.

After the clock had striked the mandatory early end to your workday, the group had scrambled to make it in time for the train, arriving at the station with only minutes to spare, and wading through swarms of travellers about to make similar journeys. The near miss had sent you reeling, but you bit back the string of curses and melted into bliss once you had taken in the shared optimistic mood of the crowd. Somehow, even the slow walkers with monstrous suitcases that were ready to burst did not phase you as you sank into your seat by the window.

You glossed over the platform and antique buildings that lined the tracks as the train departed. Previously polluted and unsightly, with soot caking the ventilators and any stone within immediate line of fire from the screeching train brakes, it was now laying under a blanket of glistening white, dormant until the winter chose to retire.

Hongjoong was equally mesmerised, peering over your form while unzipping his hefty bag to take out a camera. It was a vintage number, one he had stumbled across during a trip to an artisan market, and after tinkering with it for what had turned out to be a total of two months, selected it for this trip.

He was adamant, even being questioned repeatedly why he had an affinity for a camera that required film whilst he was working on nano electronics, that this camera was the best way to tell the story of the next couple of days the group was staying at the cottage. And he knew that you would be the first to understand.

As you pressed yourself into your seat to let Hongjoong snap a picture, took his concentration on the scenery behind the viewfinder as amble time to regard and commit the artist behind the camera to memory. How a stubborn lock of rich onyx locks hovered right over his soft brow, having made its escape out of the woolen hat he wore. How his glasses with a delicate golden frame suited his sculpted face perfectly, even tilted down to give way to the apparatus in his steady hands. He was one for keeping memories, snapshots to highlight the priceless instances that others plead for in times of need.

"Stay like that for a second." His dulcet tone took you out of your daze, and you shook your head in embarrassment, realising that he probably caught you ogling him.

"What?"

"Just do it for me, please?" He repeated himself, camera at the ready.

"Oh, come on, don't waste film."

"Who says waste? You'd be the best part." He whispered, unable to return your scrutiny and studying the leather detailing on the body of the camera.

"Cringe, but I'll let it slide." You finally uttered, laughing airily, and striking a pose.

Right when you were in motion, not a thought in mind except about the anticipation of the celebration ahead, Hongjoong snapped a segment of that joy, more satisfied than he let on.

Playful, you shifted in your seat and moved to place your hands over his. You were likely pushing it, but with the seasonal buzz fuelling you, your usual stoicism and preference to influence others with words only, could be stored. Despite the fact that you were of the opinion that you were not right for Hongjoong, and that you did not possess the delicate, nurturing aura he deserved, you were enticed by competition and challenge. Seeing him be friendly to others, going from meeting to meeting to appease even those who had much to learn from him, made you want to fight for his attention. You wanted him to be captivated by you, and you alone.

You took pleasure in his widening eyes and lips parting, as though in longing. It almost made you believe that he too, wanted something more than just the normal chatter about the superficial that you shared, and his avoidance of being in the same room for extended periods of time when it was just the two of you. As his orbs dashed from left to right, up and down, you scanned every part of his oh so irresistible face, and only shared with him a smirk to describe your intentions. In a blink you pried the prized possession out of his slackened grasp and in one swipe got the attached strap over his head. Simultaneously, all hints of the near sadistic taunting evaporated, and you were back to being an upbeat, jolly passenger on her way to indulge in festivities.

"Now you. Pose, Joongie!"

Your transition from an overwhelmingly intense stare down to now giggling and instructing him, singsong and almost childish, drove Hongjoong wild. It was as though under your outwardly collected and amiable demeanour there was a turbulent river, dangerously alluring and intoxicating. Much to his dismay, the moments you let this side of yourself shine through were few and far between, as rare as a blue moon.

It had not been the first time he had encountered this version of you, however. The first, one he did not need photographs of to burn into his retinas, was when he had completely forgotten about his promise to attend the institute-wide New Year's party last year, instead remaining in one of the laboratories, immersed in modelling the design of a nano robot that had been giving him much trouble.

When it was already approaching an hour before the monumental strike of midnight, you had appeared off to his side like a shadow, a lab coat loosely draped over your shoulders and, underneath it, revealing a breathtaking cerulean blue dress that highlighted all of your best features. He gulped. You were beautiful. So beautiful that it left him terrified.

Placing your manicured hands on his stiffened shoulders, you had purred in his ear, demanding he were to join you that instant at the party, adding that it was lonely without him, especially in a sea of tipsy researchers. He had not dared to even try saying anything in response, having become impossibly malleable putty under the challenging, unreadable once-over you gave him that he swore burned his skin.

And when during the party itself you had rapidly disappeared from his company, busying yourself with entertaining far too many of his colleagues for his liking, he came to the revelation that the one who he had considered to be his younger colleague, an ambitious professional who he had enjoyed working with and had a bond with all the way from his evolution through university, had control over his very being.

After that night, all he could envision when you approached him in the laboratories was that New Year’s. Hongjoong was afraid of just how much he yearned for your touch and for your command, directed at him, unintentionally sultry. So, he had made it a point to try use his friends as buffers between him and you, even though it was going against all that he wanted and needed and led to the others figuring out pretty quickly that he was not indifferent.

The first had been Seonghwa, who, admittedly, did well in maintaining his composure when Hongjoong grew undeniably shy around you, but then made the great mistake of mentioning the tension in the lab offhandedly to the resident chaos bringers. And once San and Wooyoung knew, everybody knew. Except you, because what would be the fun in that, right? A couple of times he had been threatened with being locked in a closet with you until he confessed, mainly by Jongho who sat on the other side of him in the office and was fed up with the dynamic that his recently single self did not want to deal with. Every time Hongjoong fought back with promises to confess later, and later, until now, nearing exactly a year since, he felt almost out of time. There was an urgency in his actions in the weeks approaching tonight, and your teasing wasn’t helping at all.

He swallowed his desire to close the space between you, and mimicked how you had posed for him, causing another chuckle. Soon enough, he too, was immortalised in that roll of film, your two photographs as mirror images of one another.

The rest of the journey outside the capital had passed as smoothly as it could, since you did not have to suffer the fate of being sat in front of or behind any of your rowdier friends, namely the discord duo and two of the tallest members of your group, who only needed a small catalyst to turn into hilarious menaces. They had occupied a four-seater with a table on the other side of the carriage and, after Yunho revealed a set of Cards Against Humanity that he had hidden in his mini suitcase, were now cackling uncontrollably at round after round. Eventually, Yeosang, who had previously been fully immersed in daydreaming with his noise-cancelling headphones on, decided to join them, and left the group dumbfounded at his beating San’s five-point lead.

Jongho was right behind you, typing without a minute’s pause on his laptop, and Seonghwa, who had occupied aisle seat behind Hongjoong, was in his own world, disconnected from the turmoil two metres away from him, probably zoning out to ASMR. The entire ride was dedicated to you and your seatmate, and after running out of things that you and him in your positively excited, but nervous states had deemed appropriate to discuss, agreed to share earphones and listen to some festive jams to set the mood. Soon enough, you were both quiet, with Mariah Carey’s hit taking on a slightly different meaning than last season.

“Wooyoung, please be careful and don’t fall down from the table. As much as I do enjoy cleaning I don’t want to clean a crime scene-” Seonghwa’s voice rang out across the house as preparations for the party were in full swing.

“I DO WHAT I WANT, MOM! And I am doing important work here, look at this beauty!” the younger retorted after putting finishing touches on the festive arrangement he decided to do on the living room chandelier, and hopping down from the piece of furniture, spiderman style.

You had to admit, it did not look terrible, though perhaps just a tad garish. At least he tried. You shrugged to yourself and turned back to place the final bauble on the Christmas tree that Jongho had been tasked to find and lug to the cottage as soon as you all had arrived.

The cottage was located on the outskirts of a small town, though even saying outskirts made the settlement appear much larger than it was in reality. It consisted of houses dotted around the wintery landscape and some clusters built up closer to the station and the high street - a single line dedicated to all forms of shopping and recreation now converted into a quaint Christmas market. The residents had not disappointed when it can to decoration either, with their porches and roofs made to look as though the walls were supposed to be made of gingerbread. When the group was making the trek to Seonghwa’s uncle’s vacant abode, you had also spotted a church a little further out, its gothic spires appearing to pierce the rapidly darkening sky and stained glass glowing from what had to be a myriad of candles within. This location looked to be a perfect holiday hallmark movie set.

As soon as you all dropped off your belongings in various rooms, with you being given the honour of having your own one, everyone got to work. The plan of operations, consisting of phases and checkpoints, was under administration of the two eldest, and yourself in the role of what Mingi had called ‘vibe control’, seeing as you were deemed the most festive of the lot considering how overjoyed you were to discover the utter beauty of the place where you were to stay the next few days. Phase one, which was performing a last minute venture to buy up drinks and food and, the crucial element - the tree, had been successful, and transitioned into Seonghwa and a snacking Yeosang cooking up a storm, Jongho and Yunho totally not trying to trip each other up into the deep snow while hanging decorations on the cottage’s façade, and the rest of you running around from room to room, leaving traces of glitter in random nooks and crannies as you tried to not totally ruin the otherwise tasteful interior design with festive visual noise.

For the most part, it ended up looking well put together, and you were proud of the Christmas tree that had been mostly your focus. Aside from the moment when Hongjoong approached you, beaming, a cardboard box in his hands.

“Is this a bomb?”

“Yes, totally, as if Christmas hasn’t already exploded in this house.” He countered, stretching his arms further out to hand the box to you.

“Good point. Then what-” you stopped mid-sentence as you revealed a set of what looked to be homemade tree décor. Test tubes and miniature conical flasks corked up and containing liquids and suspensions of various vivid hues. The creator of the set had to have been skilled, as the corks had very neatly attached metal eyelets, to which the much-needed strings were tied. You hooked one out of the box with your finger and admired how the shade of the contents changed with the flashing lights you had wrapped around the tree.

“Where did you find this?”

“I made it.”

“WHAT?” you shrieked, instantly covering your mouth as you did not want anyone to join in on your conversation just yet. Thankfully, at the same time the front door was flung open and the duo who had been outside ambled in, arguing about something to do with phosphorescence versus fluorescence.

Hongjoong, cheerful, was more than pleased with your reaction. During one of the events hosted in early December by the department head, you had been impressed by an arrangement of clamps that were positioned in a tree-like formation, each one holding a colourful test tube. He had wanted to replicate that moment, that sensation, for you, and so spent a week sprawled on the floor of his bedroom, gluing things together and practically recreating Heisenberg’s lab in his kitchen to make the substances. He had striked exclusively under the cover of night, which had scared Seonghwa out of his wits when he was awoken by the rumble of the kitchen extractor fan and strolled in to discover Hongjoong fully decked out in a face mask, goggles, silicon gloves, and pyjamas with teddy bears on them.

“You are going to take a photo of this beauty after we are done right?” You were ready to give him countless pecks on his cheeks with how adorable he looked blushing.

“Sure.”

“Let’s make this a chemis-tree then. Help?” You passed the test tube you were holding to him and set the box down carefully on the ground between you. In comfortable silence, you two moved around the tree, occasionally handing items across, in a tranquil symbiosis.

Hongjoong savoured the moments you accidentally brushed your hands with his, and inadvertently took in the light scent of your perfume as you snaked around him to re-hang a bauble in the shape of an angel. He wouldn’t be able to guess what brand it was even if he tried, but what he was sure of was just how well it suited you. With white floral top notes giving way to something much deeper and darker, it was your daring magnetism in a bottle. A stark contrast to the sweater you were wearing – a red, grey, and white combination with a design depicting reindeers dashing through the snow, with some hearts and trees dotted around along with ornate bands at the cuffs, base, and collar. You truly embodied a variety of contrasts, an enigma that drew him in.

You hovered for a moment, deep in thought as you spun the angel with your fingers, letting a sigh escape you as you hung it on a not yet overloaded part of the tree.

“What’s up?” Hongjoong was curious, seeing that the little toy had evoked a new emotion in you.

“Just remembered how when I was a kid, I loved to make snow angels. Like, really loved it. Did not care how deep the snow was, just let me lie in it and I was happy.” You recounted fondly while Hongjoong turned his shoulders to completely face you. Standing closer than friends should be.

“Let’s do it, then.” He was feeling courageous, wanting to repay you for your flirtations on the train ride to the cottage. You laughed, lightly tapping his shoulder.

“I think I am too old to do that sober now, need a bit more Dutch courage to go hop in a snowdrift.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a big mug of mulled wine then, angel.” He informed; his expression rather coy. You liked this kind of Hongjoong. Not wanting to drop the tension, you took the tiniest step forward, and murmured, low and slow:

“You go down with me, darling.”

Before Hongjoong could respond to your concealed provocation, a yell from an incredibly vexed Seonghwa near deafened you.

“WHO THE FUCK TURNED ELF ON THE SHELF INTO A STRIPPER? I SWEAR WOO IF IT WAS YOU, I WILL REARRANGE YOU LIKE A LEGO SET-”

“YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!”

Now that sounded about right for a domestic, festive scene. You and Hongjoong immediately began to search for the exhibit, finding it at the top of the stairs, where an innocent elf was made to be wrapped around one of the railings in a suggestive pose, and when a flash of bright red hair zoomed past you with an ashen blonde ball of anger following right behind, you guffawed, not stopping until your ribs began to hurt.

Poor Seonghwa had yet to find the other elves that were set out in unconventional poses and hidden in random places around the house. You personally had spotted one inside the bathroom cabinet and decided to let it be. Out of sight out of mind. An act commended by San who was tiptoeing out of one of the bedrooms, three more elves dangling from his clenched fist. He had simply given you a nod and placed his free index finger to his lips, which you did too in response, tapping a couple of times to show solidarity.

After the wave of life-or-death tag, and the gathering of the entire group in the living room, with Mingi having finally come down after napping through the majority of the prep, you breezed through setting the table, arranging Secret Santa gifts under the tree by transferring them from a grocery store bag that had been hanging on the office door for a week to avoid anyone having any clues, and then, finally, getting to sit down, take a deep breath, and simply enjoy.

Every bit of this was incredible. The food, the company, heck, even the stripper elf that Seonghwa ended up not having the heart to take down because ‘he did not want to be a Scrooge’. It was obvious that with every passing hour, the buzz was getting to you all, as the chatter was getting louder and louder, the jokes more and more ridiculous, and the questions more and more personal.

You were amidst an animated conversation with Yeosang about wanting to try snowboarding sometime and planning an imaginary trip to some mountain range far away when you were suddenly called for by Wooyoung, who was sitting at the far end of the table from you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he slurred a little, having been ‘taste-testing’ the spiced brew since before dinner, “are you dating anyone?” Yeosang grimaced, mouthing a ‘good luck’ to you, knowing that once Wooyoung entered his relationship talk state, he was near unstoppable unless some extreme topic change was made.

“Bro your boyfriend is sitting right next to you, and no thank you I don’t want a threesome.” You quipped, inducing a ripple of chuckles across the group. But Wooyoung would not let up, even though San was repeatedly nudging him under the table.

“Nooo… you know what I mean. Just generally. Like, do you have a designated mistletoe partner?” you did not like where this was going. Not one bit. Hongjoong, who was sitting on the other side of the table, right in front of you, visibly tensed, alarm bells ringing in his head.

“Uh, not at the moment.” You could not exactly lie, nor did you want to, seeing as the person you would not mind taking that role was right there, and for some reason looked oddly fearful.

“Great!” He exclaimed, and in a matter of seconds was standing on his chair, bending over the entire table, holding a mistletoe branch… over the table and not so discreetly changing its angle from you to Hongjoong, and back again.

You locked gazes. Panic rose in your throat. You did not enjoy this feeling; control being taken away from you, your friend toppling you over and shining a spotlight on you. And now a metaphorical knife was being wedged into your heart from having to witness what you perceived to be as total unwillingness in Hongjoong’s every fibre. Did you want this? Yes. Like this? Hell no.

Seconds passed like hours of torture, and each sound seemed to have amplified thousand-fold in volume. Lost, you were unable to decide your next course of action. Logic, your go-to for any situation, had failed. Emotions were a wreck. Oh, how you wanted this to stop. Anything you had hoped for until this moment shattered before you, scattering agonising pieces in all directions.

Was this his chance? It must be. Had he been sitting next to you, the space would have been no more in an instant. But the separation, once again that damn barrier, now also in physical form was preventing him from following through with what he wanted to express. This did not mean that he did not think Wooyoung had pulled a dick move, especially towards you, but Hongjoong had imagined what it would be like kissing you under the mistletoe. Wishful thinking, it seemed. All he could read across the table was discontent, and the recoil unlike that of a cat’s. He was running out of the time that he had wanted to give you.

Before either of you could do anything, Wooyoung gave out a yelp and almost toppled onto the remnants of dinner, saved only by a very quick to react San, who wrapped his arms around the slipping legs and weighed them down. Everyone was quick to turn their heads to the culprit – Jongho who was sitting unperturbed, arms crossed over his chest. Yeosang had been the saving grace, whispering for the youngest to figure something out in ‘Jongho style’. So, taking one of the apples from the fruit bowl, he took aim and hurled it with all his might where the sun did not shine.

“My bad bro, I hit the wrong head.”

Wooyoung was doubled over, and the mistletoe was lying all but forgotten among the randomly arranged side dishes. Seonghwa was failing to stifle a satisfied laugh, while Mingi was quite literally gasping for air, hiding his face in the tablecloth as Yunho was rubbing his back, a grin on his face. You let out a breath you did not know you were holding, and you absent-mindedly picked at your sweater.

“Right!” Hongjoong clapped to get everybody’s attention, wishing for nothing more than to move on from this ordeal. “How about before we get too drunk, we do the gift exchange, yeah? And DJ-Mingi, blast the tunes a little louder, it’s Christmas after all.” He pointed at the taller male, who was currently wiping tears from his eyes, still breathing heavy from the fit of giggles.

“Aye aye, captain!” he saluted and in a couple of strides was at the Bluetooth speakers, which now began blasting Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.

As everyone got up and headed to the huge u-shaped sofa, something stopped you. Mystified, you noticed that the mistletoe branch was gone.

The incident was brushed over soon enough, and the group was now losing their minds over each other’s gifts. This year, there was a very interesting mix of both humour gifts and genuinely meaningful statements, but that was to be expected from a Secret Santa where one of the rules was to ‘go ham’.

Yeosang wiped his forehead in mock relief as he was safe from torment: he received a giftcard to his favourite fried chicken delivery place and a t-shape tool for his skateboard – an ode to his most popular complaint being that the wheels did not feel right, or he swore he had to replace something. Yunho wasn’t quite so lucky, on the other hand, having received a tub of Vaseline with a printed note taped onto it that read ‘for the times that your supervisor fucks you over’ – it was a known fact that his supervisor, an elderly and angry man in his sixties, was notoriously hard to impress, and at this point probably made Yunho lose too many nerve cells.

You were Seonghwa’s Santa this year and tried your best not to show your delight at him basically bouncing on the sofa as he unwrapped the set of holiday-themed lint rollers that you had bought. Then, it was your turn and your friends followed your movements as you searched under the Christmas tree to pick out the gift with your name. Sitting back down on the couch, you spun it in your hands. The container was two centimetres thick and square in shape, leaving you perplexed as to what was behind the wrapping. You initially thought it could be an album by an artist you had been raving about recently but had to delete that from your mind considering it would be way over budget. You peeled away the washi tape that was holding the paper together to be met by a wooden box.

Turning it the right way around, you lifted the lid, and gasped. Inside was a necklace – a thin thread-like gold chain, and on it an intricate pendant – a tiny clock, its hands frozen on eight thirty. You were overwhelmed, but from your lips rolled out one word of gratitude after another. You ignored a now tipsy Mingi booing and calling out that it was probably over budget. Maybe you would have agreed seeing as that was technically a rule but shit, you were over the moon. You flipped the pendant around and spotted a message engraved into the back, so small that it was barely there – only for you to cherish and hold close to your heart.

Forever is composed of nows.

Emily Dickinson, you note. A poem you had quoted, time and time again. But not to just any audience. You look up, cautious. The gift unwrapping had moved on, with Jongho currently being the centre of attention, so you use the chance to seek out the one who you were sure was your Secret Santa. And sure enough, his attention was already on you. As you had wished so many times. Kim Hongjoong. Your Christmas.

He was praying that you would like the present. To the point of mumbling to himself and flittering his fingers over the throw on top of which he was seated. The idea had come to him when he had to stay late in the office, waiting for a response from his supervisor, who he had no idea had already left for the night. As minutes turned into an hour, and the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock, with the outdoor noise having been absorbed by yet another snowfall, the pieces came together.

This quote encapsulated you both. On the one hand, you enjoyed it because the notion of ‘now’ being the way to shape the intangible future motivated you to remain organised, diligent, and focused on a specific path. On the other hand, he respected it for the interpretation that this forever had so many parts that it was crucial to not waste them on fixation and if they were to be captured, it was through the lenses of his beloved cameras. This collection of five words stuck a balance between Hongjoong and yourself, and explained that maybe, you were not quite so different after all.

The rest of the guys were tidying up the wrapping paper and some headed to the kitchen to carry the pot of mulled wine and the saucer, along with a champagne bottle Yeosang had produced out of the blue. You and Hongjoong let this particular ‘now’ continue for a little longer, knowing smiles on your faces, and the previous awkwardness over dinner erased. As you held onto the open box containing the invaluable message, you sauntered over to him.

“Thank you.”

He bit his lip as he lifted his head.

“May I?”

“Yes please.”

You turned and exposed your neck to him, moving your luscious hair to the side. Again, those black patchouli base notes that filled his head with only you. Hongjoong could finally pinpoint the rest of the bouquet, having recalled his housemate explaining the terminology after he had splurged on a luxury cologne and was trying to explain himself. He reached to take the necklace from the box, and not so accidentally caressed the sensitive skin as he clasped the lock. You explained that you wanted to see how it looked, so the two of you made a beeline for the full-length mirror at the entrance into the cottage.

You were inspecting the necklace in the mirror, still in shock at how it spoke volumes, nearing an inexplicable divinity. His body moving on its own accord, Hongjoong, who was standing behind you, gently placed his hands on your hips, and breath hot against your ear, complimented:

“I knew it would look brilliant on you.”

Your attention drifted back to Hongjoong, locking gazes with him through the mirror. He was all smiles, but for a split second you spotted something much more passionate. Intrigued, you wanted to test how far you could go before the man would snap. You were never one to back down from a game like this.

“Thank you, though I don’t think these clothes do it justice.”

“Hm?” you felt his grip tighten just a little, as his eyes shifted to your necklace once more.

“You know, maybe without them it would look even better, don’t you think?”

And there it was. The darkness only you could lure out from deep within him. A distant howl turned into a thunder, rolling across his body in waves. A man ready to do anything to drown in the turbulent river that had tantalised him for so long. A man lost in the silent night, at the beck and call of your voice that haunted him wherever he went. Hongjoong let out a shaky breath, his chest almost flush against your back as he held his head over your shoulder, level and mirroring yours.

“Do you know what you do to me?”

You smirked. He was still so heedful of you, navigating your ever-changing maze ever so slowly. But now, unlike before, you had a guarantee that the Hongjoong you had deemed to be attentive to everyone was, in fact, at your feet. You could finally read how he behaved around you. The adorable shyness, the inability to be alone with you for too long… it all made sense. Cute, precious Hongjoong. It was probably not the best conclusion to come to, but you felt powerful. Until the young man suddenly gripped your waist and spun you around, pulling you towards him until his face was so close you could count his beautiful lashes, study the intricate patterns of his irises, clouded over with emotion he had never revealed before, enticing you. He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes half-lidded and lips wet with his saliva.

“I’ll repeat myself, angel. Do you know what you do to me?” the pet name that had stuck with him since when you had decorated the Christmas tree slipped out, making you exhale sharply. You were enjoying this. Boy was getting braver.

You shifted the dynamic once more as you raised the hand that was not loosely holding the box and cupped Hongjoong’s chin, feeling him gulp at your boldness. You pulled away from him slightly, but only to observe as you traced his bottom lip with your thumb. It was so easy to make him melt once, after all these years, you appeared to have figured out the chemistry of Hongjoong. He shuddered under your touch, one hand drifting down back to your hip, attempting to press you against him, which you deny with a teasing poke of the box square in his chest.

“I can make an educated guess, darling.” Two could play the game as you enunciated the words so that each one fuelled his desire. Your index finger trailed under his chin, terminating the sensation with an instantaneous flick.

He groaned, desperate to end this push and pull once and for all, when you completely freed yourself while his mind was still enchanted. You had heard the others, still in the living room, getting louder, with someone loudly asking where you went. As if nothing at all had happened, you gave Hongjoong a lopsided grin and pointed at the doorway, informing him that everyone was waiting. Like hell they were, probably took notice of the absence at random and would have forgotten it then and there. As you ambled away, he bent over, stretching to try easing the unbearable tension under which he had been, thanks to you. Once more, he looked in the mirror, running a hand through his hair a couple of times, and yet the only thing he could see was your reflection.

Much of the rest of the night was dedicated to letting completely loose. Just like that night last year, you were purposefully oblivious to him tracking your every move. Paid no mind to just how attractive you looked, dancing to the pulsating beat of a song by The Weeknd that someone decided to put on. Evidently, champagne had started pouring. The night was turning into a blur for Hongjoong, as he struggled to process his actions. He had to plan something. And that something had to happen sooner rather than later.

He chose to slink away from the room right when now a very drunk San, Wooyoung and Seonghwa were recreating the infamous dance from Mean Girls to Jingle Bell Rock, laughter roaring in his ears and with his departure he finally managed to get you to turn and face him. He beckoned you to come to him with a wave of a hand, and turned to exit into the entrance.

When you followed and joined him, you found he was in the process of zipping up his winter jacket, having already tugged on all the woollen accessories.

“Where are you going? Stuff is wild in there.” You approached him to try and take his hat off, but he sidestepped towards the front door and silently motioned for you to dress up as well. Confused, but too interested to see the outcome of this bewildering proposal, you agreed.

When you signalled that you were ready by giving Hongjoong a double thumbs up, he grabbed the keys from a nearby counter and opened the door letting a chilly breeze hit you. You swore your mind was going through a thousand calculations a picosecond as you were trying to figure out the intentions of the man in front of you. This Christmas was definitely not like any other. As he walked further and further away from the cottage, until the lights emanating from the décor and from within did not hit the snow and you were hidden away from sight by a couple of evergreens, you repeated the quote that was now above your chest to yourself, letting go and trusting the man who was leading you into the landscape.

He stopped, waited until you caught up to him and were standing right next to him. And then, fell right on his back. You squealed in terror, assuming the worst. You peered at him, but were met with a very happy Hongjoong, who spread his limbs into a star shape, and began to wave them around. When you did not move, he stopped and shouted out, disappointment laced through his words.

“Y/N, didn’t you say you were a pro at making snow angels? Show me what you got.”

And just like that, you were also in the snow, giggling like the child you had been when you had done this last. Flailing around, kicking bits up in the air only for it to fall on you or him. You relished in the sensation, since it reminded you of something you had intentionally been repressing for the majority of your life – the ability to enjoy yourself freely, experience things that were not planned ahead and treating your existence as an ongoing work of art.

You were knocked out of your reveries with a snowball landing smack on your nose. You had not realised that Hongjoong had already gotten up and was aiming for another shot. It was on. You skillfully rolled away as he threw the winter weapon, picking up your own ammo as you did so. Once you were on your back again, the snowball was ready, and you got a clean headshot, having aimed for the sowed-on tag on his hat. As he was brushing snowflakes out of his eyes, you rose to your feet, hopping away and throwing two more roughly shaped ones. The game did not continue for long, though, because as you took some return hits you pounced on him, with the plan of attaining payback for the first snowball.

Both of you toppled on the ground and you laughed triumphantly, your body flat against his, nose to nose. While you were trying to push yourself up and get a grip on the ground to either side of Hongjoong, he pulled something out of the breast pocket of his winter jacket, raised it above the two of you, and pointed at it.

“Would you look at that? Guess we have to do something about it. Got any ideas?”

This man was unbelievable. That was one point on the endless list of why you were smitten.

“So that is where the mistletoe went!” you exclaimed, slowly leaning in.

“And this time I am not letting you go.” His promise sounding gruff, he pulled you in by the collar and finally, your lips collided.

The snow that had fallen from your clothing onto him rapidly melted as you sank deeper into the mutual craving. Starting slow, you got to know one another, keen to map out each sigh. You had fantasised about this for so long that it felt like you were in a feverish daydream. But nothing could compare to the real softness of his lush lips, the irresistible nips at yours and how he snaked under your coat and sweater, the coldness sending you into a frenzy.

As you repositioned yourself to gain more closeness, and as such grinded against him, you heard him hiss. He responded to your motion by pulling you closer and, his lips never leaving yours, tilting your head slightly to beg for entrance. You hummed in approval, mouth opening slightly to allow for his tongue to explore your further. Not letting him enjoy all the fun, you joined in the fight for dominance and savoured his addictive taste.

As you pulled away to catch your breath, Hongjoong looked completely at your mercy. Eyes still shut, panting, flushed and filled with want. He was beyond saving, left only as a vessel to be guided by you. There, illuminated by the moon and stars, you were ethereal. Your every angle and shapely curve was one he wanted to adore and worship. Your form, hovering above him, was nothing short of flawless. At the same time, within, you concealed a lethal sin, but one for which he would fall countless times, and willingly sacrifice himself for good. Your melodic laugh rang out over him.

“We are going to freeze out here-” You stated, unable to finish the thought as Hongjoong pulled you in again, growling against your lip and pushing himself against you. You sighed in pleasure as he dragged your scarf down to reveal your neck and planted rough kisses trailing from your jawline, stopping to claim you midway down. As you leaned over and peppered the side of his face with attention and nibbled his ear, sending a shiver through him, you stopped to purr:

“Though it seems you know a way to warm up.”

“You are a devil in disguise, Y/N.”

“Yours truly.”

“Mine?”

“And so are you.”

“Oh, come here.”

This was the kind of Christmas you were willing to enjoy every time of year. Together with the one who completed you in every way imaginable. From your ambition to his artistry, your tendency for timeliness to his tendency for timelessness.

Whilst you were opposites in some ways, you struck an unparalleled balance that made you stronger together. An enciphered, irreplicable chemistry that spelled ‘forever’.

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