#LITERALLY TAKES YEARS OFF MY LIFESPAN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

natelia-aldelliz · 1 year

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Guys imagine, Roach died, before the creation of 141, but Soap is able to see his ghost. He was originally following Ghost around, really annoyed that he was using his death as an excuse to not get close to anyone, but when he found out Soap could see him and talk to him he started following him around instead.

And they get really close, like two peas in a pod, except they have to be discreet about it because no one else can see or hear Roach, and they'd think Soap was crazy if they saw him talking to no one.

They use that for shenanigans too: Roach will go follow someone else and report back to Soap, Gaz is genuinely starting to believe Soap has superpowers or something. It's really useful on missions as well, and Soap managed to successfully rescue team members thanks to Roach being able to move through walls and everything.

(Roach is not the only ghost Soap is able to see btw, just the only one he's talking to.)

And then Roach is witnessing his past lover trying really hard to not fall in love with Soap, and Soap trying really hard to not do anything about the love he already feels, and he has to try and convince Soap that he is dead. During that conversation he finds out that something else that keeps Soap from doing something is that he feels very confused about everything because he also has feeling for Roach.

So now Roach has to try and convince him that even if he was still alive he wouldn't have a problem with that. He's known for a while that he was polyamorous, but he hadn't really dared talking to Ghost about that because he thinks he's jealous and possessive.

And Soap is like "oh yeah, you want me to go say to Ghost 'don't worry about your dead lover that I'm not supposed to know, he's actually polyamorous and also in love with me, I know because his ghost told me!' ??? I'm sure he's gonna take that well!"

But Roach is nothing if not resourceful and he manages to put Soap in situations where he's forced to interact with Ghost, and eventually they kiss and their relationship is beginning to be something. They're not really sure what.

And Roach is sad, because he has to watch the two men he loves being in love without him, yes, but at least they're both happy, and it makes him feel a bit better. And then during a mission Ghost almost dies.

Because he was alone and Soap and Gaz were together, Roach was following Ghost this time, ready to fly to Soap in an instant if there was any problems. But there was and he didn't have time, so he instinctively grabbed the gun being pointed towards Ghost's head and moved it as the person was shooting, saving Ghost's life, giving him enough time to shoot the enemy himself.

But even as the threat is eliminated, Ghost is still looking up from where he's on the ground, staring right through him, looking shocked. No, not right through him, he realises when he moves to the side and Ghost's eyes follow him. He also realises that he grabbed the gun. He's never grabbed anything before, in all his years of being a ghost.

Then suddenly Ghost's eyes move wildly around, and he figures he disappeared from his view. He can still go through the walls, but he's kept the ability to grab stuff when he wants. It gives him a ton of new possibilities, to fuck with people and, of course, to touch Soap.

"I wish you were actually alive," Soap whispers to him, holding his hands against his face as he's falling asleep.

"What the fuck," comes Ghost's voice the next morning, waking both of them up - wait, since when could Roach sleep?

Soap doesn't understand immediately, because he's always been able to see Roach. But Ghost is standing in the door, looking straight at dead past lover.

Turns out Soap is a necromancer and he had no idea, though the whole 'I can see dead people' should probably have told him sooner that he wasn't normal... The more he wishes Roach is alive, the more he actually is. And they all end up happy and together. And Gaz is very happy to have won the bet that Soap indeed has superpowers.

The day Roach says, in a wondering voice, "I... I think I'm hungry" is the day they understand that something is really happening and he's actually coming back to life.

(Also, Soap has no control at all on his abilities, he has no idea what does what and why, he knows nothing. No one knows.)

#cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #gary roach sanderson #soapghost #ghostsoap #roachsoap #ghostroach #ghostsoaproach #accidental necromancer soap and ghost roach au #this is not organised at all bc my head has been hurting for days and i feel like i'm dying (i'm being overly dramatic don't worry)#this came to me when i was watching megamind don't ask me why #anyway i can't even read that again bc the words make no sense to me when my head hurts so sorry if it actually makes no sense for real lol #omg imagine ghost being interrogated bc someone reported him for sleeping with soap and he goes 'do i sleep with my sergeant?#yes i do but i don't only sleep with one of my sergeants i actually sleep with two of them; one having been dead for 4 years'#and they go 'dead as in... pronounced dead but actually alive?' 'no no dead as in actually dead as in buried; dead dead'#'so you *were* sleeping with him in the past?' 'no i am currently sleeping with him. with both of them.'#and then price has to gaslight sooo hard to make it all right they're literally taking years off his lifespan #and when he complains they giggle at him saying that it's alright bc soap will bring him back anyway if he dies for their sins

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bread-that-draws · 3 months

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COLLEGE APPLICATIONS DONE I’m free from the “no fanart in portfolio” curse. Anyway hits you with my visualization of a scene I wrote a while ago blast

#me when I have so so much work to do and my best friend falls asleep in my bed and that fucks with me so bad that #I can’t sit any closer or farther than the floor beside him #these guys are fucking crazy you know when you like a man and it destroys you inside and out #last year you got toxic doomed yuri this year. you get doomed yaoi #typing yaoi in my tags in the year of 2024 took years off my lifespan (I was on the internet when OMG MY YAOI BOYS was popular)#that’s honestly the only reason I didn’t make the caption HITS U WITH MY DOOMED YAOI BEAM #me proving im not biased and can and do write queer men and not just insane lesbians #guys i swear I write men too guys please #all romantic adjacent relationships in my original story are like. m/m f/f nb/f nb/m #14 year old me literally started this story with the idea that there wouldn’t be a single m/f thing going on #and now i think that idea is flawed but we’ve gone too far now #anyway #take a shot every time i tag something with anyway #it’s just so fun #posts for one audience member (Lorien) (when he sees this specific guy in particular) (IM RAMBLING IN TAGS DONT YELL AT ME)#oc #OCs #original character #original characters #original story #not super super happy with this but like its fine #breads guys

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silverstcne · 9 months

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also i am so upset about sacha i am so glad he got out of that seemingly unscathed :(

#was literally shaking waiting for them to address it #this race is taking years off of my lifespan though fucking hell #luke lbs fe

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shomair · 1 year

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everything is worth it and okay actually because shoma and stephane are adorable and nothing on the ice is real!

#mens events dont take years off my lifespan challenge #who buried some kind of dark effigy under the ice #im so sorry jun #and kazuki #and adam #and TOMOKI 😭😭😭#and literally everyone else who suffered from the plight of the ice #nhk #22/23 #mine

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disneyprincemuke · 2 months

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hot laps * fem!driver

the fact of the matter is that she's got the reputation of being a reckless driver on the road, but they didn't know the extent until they had to join her for a hot lap around the track

pairings: bother figures x fem!driver, 4lyfers x fem!driver, macky

notes: hi i got bored at work and this is what i did instead of my dissertation

(series masterlist) | (📂 the sophomore year)

-> max verstappen, #1

literally cannot stop screaming the entire time

he knew she was a reckless driver by some degree on the road

but not like this

she takes him on an extra lap and goes faster, almost clips the wall and almost loses the car

is kinda impressed that she recovered it somehow

stumbles out the car a sputtering mess at how hard she’d gone in the car

“remind me not to anger you”

-> logan sargeant, #2

unfortunately is used to his life being in grave danger at her hands

lowkey still has a heart attack even though he knew she’s been driving like this since he taught her how to drive a road car at 16

holds onto the handles for dear life

disappointed but not surprised

“i almost got murdered trying to do content with rocky”

-> lando norris, #4

is silent most of the time

wide eyed though

is kinda traumatised at how fast she was going

because she seems to be having a lot of fun

just walks away the minute she parks the car at the grid

"doesn't seem normal to be giggling and humming songs when you're driving at 200km/h"

-> alex albon, #23

a little impressed

not sure what logan’s deal is about her driving

her driving reminds him a lot of george’s recklessness behind a wheel

isn’t as bad as george so that’s a win to him

“she’s a close second to george on the list of people i wouldn’t let drive me around”

-> liam lawson, #30

cussing her entire bloodline the minute she accelerated

apologises for every time he’s angered and pissed her off

his eyes were closed half the time, only ever peeking through an eye every couple seconds

terrified for his life

“have you ever considered operating a rocketship instead of a race car”

-> mick schumacher, #47

kinda enjoys it actually

she’s driven his car on the road before

asks her for a second lap because he literally doesn’t have the time to go to an amusement park

she says no

says she'll do it if he pays her money and the rates are $5/km/h

“it’s like getting on a roller coaster except it’s not nearly as scary”

-> george russell, #63

screams half the time she’s driving

literally tries to be a backseat driver

could feel his stomach left behind at sharp turns and his lifespan decreasing

actually saw his life flash before his eyes

“i need to apologise to alex for my driving behaviour”

-> oscar piastri, #81

would rather be anywhere than in a moving car with her

tries everything in his power not to get in the car with her

is unfortunately dragged in by lando because “if i had to go through it, so do you”

“i’ve lived with her, i’ve BEEN through it”

doesn’t feel much during the lap

feels kinda nice actually

better driver than he remembers her to be

“perhaps my expectations were low, but you weren’t as bad as i remembered so good job”

— bonus

-> sebastian vettel, #5

doesn’t even blink

sits there and takes it

kind of wonders why he allowed himself to be the target of the socmed’s team

from a race car driver perspective: good, but as a human: it’s absolutely foul

jelly legs when he came out of the car

“whoever let you have a license should have a stern talking to”

-> matt cornett (boyfriend!)

is praying for his safety the minute she approached him with bright eyes and a hopeful smile that he’d join her for a hot lap

literally thinks she’s going to kill him

isn’t as bad as he thinks

still thinks the rate she went at was too fast for his personal preference

she shrugs and admits that she went slower than she did with everyone else she's taken

is offended and asks her to give him the same treatment

literally regrets it

“i literally thought i was going to die at your hands”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool

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luvjunie · 5 months

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pretty boy earth 1610 miles 745 words

Three gentle taps to the glass pane of your bedroom window alerted you of your frequent nighttime visitor, ten minutes to midnight, like always. Nose abruptly lifting from the book it was tucked in, you quickly set it off to the side on your duvet and smiled at the sight of Miles—still fully suited up where he stood on your fire escape as he gave you an excited wave. Seeing Spider-Man randomly pop up where you live would probably scare the life out of anyone, but you weren’t just ‘anyone’.

With a small grunt and an upwards pull of your window, you were soon face to face with the netted nylon mask of your city’s secret superhero—who wasn’t much of secret to you and your small room.

Miles immediately pulled his mask off so your lips could meet faster: his main focus, aside from the fact that it was thirty degrees out and he was losing feeling in his toes.

“Hey,” he pulled away from you with a smile that nearly rivaled yours, ducking down and climbing through to escape the prickly chill of the November night.

“Hi pretty boy, I missed you.”

He already had his hands on the bottom, ready to shut it when it’d rolled off your tongue like the simplest thing as you pounced back onto your bed. The window came to a screeching halt, literally, when he looked over his shoulder, eyes widened and blinking as if he’d misheard you. Seemingly unaware of the years you just shaved off his lifespan with those two little words, you glanced down at your book that’d flopped closed due to the movement of your mattress. “Damn, I lost my page.” you muttered with a frown.

“H-What?” Miles blinked, eyes remaining on you until he finally remembered to shut the window, softly, and quietly. “What’d you say?”

“I lost my page?” you repeated.

“Before that.”

You tilted your head at him, brows creased to match the confused look you wore. “I…missed you?” you laughed uncertainly, thumb and pointer finger riffling through the pages of your well-loved copy of Hunger Games: Catching Fire. It was a desperate attempt, really, trying to find where you’d left off. You were never one to dog-ear your pages.

“No, no,” He was facing you fully now, the small two strand twists he had in his hair shaking with his head when it moved from side to side. “The other thing.”

You looked away and at your poster clad wall, eyes squinted as they slowly landed on him again. Your voice, quieter than it was before, had a confused lilt to it when you answered again.

“…Hello?”

“Jesus fuc—” Miles nearly smacked his forehead, hands clasping together and pointing towards you instead. “Baby. What did you say after ‘hello’?”

You thought on it for a moment, relaying through the brief interaction. “Oh!” You sat up, calves tucked beneath your thighs and face brightened with an oncoming grin. “Pretty boy?”

“Yeah,” he scratched his head, eyes bouncing on and off your face and canines showing when his top lip raised into something of a shy smile. “You think I’m pretty?”

“Duh.” You scoffed, as if the answer were beyond obvious. Miles shook his head at you, a puff of air sounding from his nose in the form of amusement.

“Don’t think I’ve heard that one before. Boys aren’t usually called pretty, but I’ll take it.”

Slowly lowering himself, Miles let out an unpleasant groan when his hip touched the ground, far too young to have his joints aching the way they did. Laying down on your sherpa rug, he sprawled out on his back and let his eyes close, like he always did during his night visits. He’d stay for an hour or so, talk with you, get patched up if needed (which was rare), or sometimes take a power nap so he could swing the rest of the way back. And after surveying the city he knew better than to even think about touching your bed. In his outside clothes was bad enough, now his suit? Absolutely not. He was more than satisfied with the floor.

“Yeah, well I think you are.” Laying flat on your stomach, you pressed your cheek to your folded arms and marveled down at your exhausted boyfriend from the height of your bed. “Everything about you is pretty. Like your eyelashes? They’re gorgeous, and for what? It’s lowkey unfair.”

“Aight you’re draggin’ it.” he laughed.

“I’m serious!”

a/n: pretty boys >>>

#junie’s works ᥫ᭡#three fics in one week?? 😦#miles morales x reader #across the spiderverse fanfiction #miles morales x fem!reader #miles morales fanfiction #earth 1610 miles x you #miles morales fluff #1610!miles x reader #earth 1610 miles x reader #1610 miles morales x reader #miles 1610 x reader

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weebsinstash · 4 months

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something that I think would be, truly one of the worst things about the yandere Batfamily really truly is their power to make any and every problem you've ever had completely go away in no time at all

it can be such an awful feeling to see that you struggled in vain with something that was nothing at all to someone else. You could have significant issues that have followed you all your life and have had traumatic impacting effects on you and these people could come in and sweep that all away. Student loans you've been paying off for years, if not a fraction of your lifespan, still burying you in debt? We are talking fucking decimal points on the scale of Bruce Wayne's wealth. That bad leg from an old work injury? Let's grab you one of the best doctors in Gotham, if not the entire world, fuck, we may even get you a doctor or medicine that isn't even human-made! Y'all want a magic leg? We know this chick who can speak backwards, you want a magically healed leg?

Crippling loneliness? Eternal sunshine and objectively best Robin Dick Grayson is here to brighten your entire world since he knows what it can feel like to be hurting and alone and he's literally like the heart and soul of the entire manor besides Alfred

Chronic pain, an undiagnosed disability, or maybe you're not confident in your fitness? Jason has extensive knowledge of injury recovery, physical therapy, and overall knowledge about human biology and musculature and how everything correlates

Family issues? Daddy issues? Let Resident Troubled Kid Expert Alfred Pennyworth be your new grandpa. He's dealt with more than one temperamental snappy individual, and he'll use his patience, experience, and wit to wear down all your stress and hostility. It's hard to keep being cruel to someone who's nothing but kind to you, and he has plenty of patience and delicious baked treats to hold out until you give in

Honestly just the fact most of them are so fucking young would get under my skin. You could be approaching your 30s and be sitting here at the Wayne family dinner table as their weird sister/mom/girlfriend/whatever and being all "I've just always had these struggles my entire life, I dont know what's wrong with me, I feel like I can't control how I act or feel and I hate it" and someone like Tim who depending on the source material and where you are on the timeline is a literal teenager with extensive knowledge of criminals and psychology is just over here, "oh, that? You have chronic childhood trauma, recurring resurfacing conflict related ptsd, severe abandonment issues, emotional regulation problems that are probably biological, and also you probably have autism, and there's nothing wrong with any of that :)" and then he turns to Bruce and starts talking about how his school is taking a trip abroad to Greece while you sit there processing that everyone around the table has extensively psychologically evaluated you and you probably have your own file on the Batcomputer (you do. It's excessive.)

It's just. The psychology of having all these problems you've struggled with be wiped away by someone else like it's nothing and how, that can result in making someone feel all the more worthless and helpless. Oh, Bruce was able to just make all your problems disappear? Clearly YOU weren't trying hard enough. Tim is able to suss out what's wrong with you? Well YOU'RE the dysfunctional idiot who was born wrong, and YOU were the one choosing the wrong doctors. You're watching all these young teenagers or young adults be vigilantes and travel the world and learn multiple languages and you're like. Normal guy Steve from the grocery store. You know? They take control of your life and make you feel like a side character in it, because everything you do is now attached to them, and all of them and all of their adventures are so... spectacular

And really, someone with a meaner heart, and maybe someone more blunt like, say, Damian, could perhaps come in and make some comment, "see? This is why you needed our assistance in caring for you" and what are you gonna do, NOT act like they basically fixed your entire life in less than a year's time, with the one objection of kidnapping and imprisonment? You're just over here, "um yeah, actually, I'm an adult and I can take care of myself, you don't need to TAKE CARE OF ME???" meanwhile Bruce and Alfred are exchanging knowing looks while you speak as if the old butler hadn't needed to help you call your doctor and other important urgent matters because being on the phone with strangers gave you such intense anxiety. Ok yes sure honey you are a lovely functional adult and your brain is big and beautiful and perfect 🥰 now shut up about going to live back home on your own, go play Xbox with your new brothers or go bake something with Grandpa while the world's greatest detective sits down in the Batcave using the Batcomputer to track down and "have a friendly chat" with that one childhood teacher that gave you that one really specific trauma-

#yandere batfam #yandere x reader #yandere batfamily #yandere stuff #sinprompts

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jessejaredstories · 8 months

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One Last Adventure

“Did you find anyone yet?”

“Not yet babe, I’m still looking.”

I flipped through the pages of my old high school yearbook while my boyfriend Jack was pacing around our bedroom. He was supposed to be searching through Grindr and Tinder for potential targets, but I knew he was getting frustrated and decided not to push it. My boyfriend has always been the impatient type, but I could understand why he was getting extra antsy tonight.

About a month ago, my boyfriend and I made a deal with a witch. In exchange for five years off of each of our lifespans, the witch would grant us the supernatural ability to take over other people’s bodies. As you can imagine, Jack and I have been generously using our new powers ever since we got them. We’ve been using them to do whatever we want as whoever we want! Getting easy access to anything we want, getting payback on anyone who’s wronged us, and probably the most fun, fucking as whoever we want. Pretty sweet ability right?

But of course, an extraordinary power like this doesn’t come without its cost. On top of paying the witch with literal years off of our lives, there were also two conditions we needed to follow. The first condition was the time limit. We got exactly 30 days before our powers expire. Once time’s up, that’s it. No more body hopping fun. The second condition was more of a restriction than anything else. The witch said that we couldn’t just take over anyone’s body. We could only choose people both Jack and I have met in-person before. That condition really limited our options, but even so, that didn’t stop us from having as much fun as possible.

“Hey, what about these two?” I handed Jack the yearbook with an open page. Unfortunately though, it took him less than a second to shake his head no.

“No good. I knew them but I never actually met them.”

I sighed as I took back the yearbook. Not gonna lie, I was starting to get frustrated too. We just couldn’t find any new bodies to possess! Normally, we wouldn’t get so worked over it, but tonight was different. It was our last day before our powers expired for good. Obviously we couldn’t just let our powers die out without one last body hopping escapade! But after hours of searching, it was not looking good for us…

Or so I thought. I started half-assedly looking through all the faces of our former high school classmates. It was then that two faces stuck out to me. Akshay Khan and Kabir Patel.

“How about these two? Remember them? The Indian bros?” I asked Jack.

“Oh yeah, I remember them. Can’t say I remember much though,”

“Neither can I.”

Akshay and Kabir were known for being inseparable best friends, but that was it really. They never got involved in any school activities. That’s why they each only had one photo in the yearbook. Easy to miss, but they were still an option nonetheless.

“C’mon, let’s check out what they’ve been up to,” I said as I pulled out my phone.

Jack joined me on the couch. He laid against me as I typed in Akshay’s name. Luckily that was all I needed to get a hit on Instagram. His profile came up and surely enough, it was him. He had recently posted on his story too. I clicked on it and up came a picture of him and Kabir working out at some gym together.

“Whoa, they’ve really glowed up since high school. The gym’s been kind to them!” Jack let out a fox whistle when he saw the picture. I turned my head slightly to watch him checking out the goods. I could tell by the hungry look in his eyes that we just found our next targets.

“What do you say bro?” I said while lowering my voice. “You down to hit the showers after we hit this last set?” I caught Jack off guard with my bad Akshay impression, but he caught on right away. We exchanged a knowing look, then proceeded to get ready for the takeover.

We both laid down on the ground and took deep breaths. We had body possession down to a science with how many times we’ve done it. All that was left to do was to go through steps again. I cleared my mind of all thoughts then I focused on imagining my soul leaving my body, all while maintaining my breathing. Soon enough, I could feel myself becoming lighter as my soul left my physical body. Once I was no longer a slave to the laws of physics, I flew straight to the gym where Akshay and Kabir were. They made the big mistake of tagging their location on social media, which made Jack and I’s job a whole lot easier!

Thanks to my spirit form, I made it to their location within minutes. I phased through the walls and looked around for the bros. The gym was pretty empty that night for some reason. After some searching, I found Akshay in the locker room area checking himself out in the mirror. He was by himself in there. I crept up behind him, ready to strike while he was distracted!

“Nrghh… What the fuck?” Akshay exclaimed. He hunched over while holding his stomach. I hesitated jumping into him, then abandoned the idea altogether when I realized what was happening. Jack had beaten me to the punch, he had already begun possessing Akshay.

I decided to stay back a moment and watch as my boyfriend possessed the gym rat. Akshay was groaning loudly. He tried keeping his balance but ended up falling to the ground on all fours. Sweat beads were forming on his face as he began breathing heavily. He then swung his head back with his mouth wide open. I could see his eyes roll back to the back of his head until I only saw the veiny whites of his eyeballs. Akshay then let out a loud, eerie groan. His cheeks and chest puffed up as Jack's soul slithered down his throat. I could see Akshay's Adam's apple bob up and down too! This lasted for a few seconds, then Akshay swallowed the last of Jack's essence in one final gulp. Once it was done, Akshay's eyes went back to normal and he stood up with a cocky grin on his face.

"Ahh yeahhh... That's the good stuff..." Akshay said while caressing his massive pecs and rock hard abs. Except I knew that wasn't Akshay anymore, that was my loving boyfriend checking out his new body in the mirror.

I watched as my boyfriend admired his newly obtained muscles in front of the mirror. I couldn't help but smile as Jack flexed his cannons for arms and made his pecs pop. To be honest, I was slightly jealous of him. Akshay was jacked! I wanted to have that body for myself, but no matter, there was still another body up for grabs anyway.

I turned around and began searching for Kabir. I looked throughout the gym and eventually found him near the dumbbells. Kabir was busy putting some weights back on the rack. He wasn't perfectly alone like Akshay was, but the sight of his plump butt sticking out as he was bent over was too tempting to ignore. I just had to take the risk and dive right in!

I steadied my aim first and then charged in as fast as I could. Thanks to my spirit form, I was able to phase right through his gym shorts and go straight into his asshole.

"Ow!! What the fuck!?" Kabir yelped out, presumably from me penetrating him by surprise. The impact of me entering him made Kabir fall onto the ground on his stomach. He grabbed onto his ass cheeks while squirming around on the ground. Unfortunately I wasn't able to possess him in one smooth motion, but it didn't matter. I was already halfway in, and there was nothing Kabir could do to stop a pro like me.

I started wiggling my way up his ass. The deeper I went inside him, the more I could feel through his body as the body takeover process started.

"Aaargh fuckk!! Ahh!!"

Kabir was moaning and thrashing around like a madman! I couldn't blame him though, I could feel the stimulation I was giving him by entering through his ass. I bet I was hitting all the right pleasure spots as I slithered up him!

"Mmmm... yeahh that's the spot..." I purred using Kabir's voice. I was in full control now, and hearing his accent come out of my mouth was making me hard! I stood up and brushed off any dirt on me. I took a moment to admire my newly possessed body. Jack might have gotten the more muscular body, but Kabir was taller and with a well-toned physique too. He was hot— No, I was hot!

“Hey bro, you good?”

I felt a hand pat me on the shoulder. Shit! Someone must’ve spotted Kabir thrashing around on the floor! I slowly turned around, but thankfully my worries were for nothing. It was just Jack.

“Yeah man, I’m chilling, all good here,” I answered. Jack shook his head.

“You sure, Kabir? Looked like you had a pretty ass cramp just now… You don’t need a massage to help ease the pain?”

Getting called “Kabir” threw me off for a moment. Although I quickly caught on when I saw “Akshay” wink at me.

“Actually, you’re right, I could use a massage right now! Think you can lend me a hand bro?” I replied with a smirk. Akshay returned my gesture with a grin. It was moments like this that made me love taking over other people’s bodies with my boyfriend. Nobody but us knew that these two gym rats just got possessed by two other men, and that secret just made it even more fun.

Akshay and I wasted no time in getting to the locker rooms. Luckily for us, there was still nobody back there. We took off our clothes and hopped into one of the shower stalls together. Akshay turned on the water, and then proceeded to pin me to the wall behind me. He planted a big fat kiss on my lips. It was aggressive, but I loved it!

We made out in the stall with our tongues fighting for dominance while the running water helped cover up our loud kisses and moans. Naturally, our dicks got hard while we kissed. I could feel Akshay’s dick rub against me as we pressed and interlocked our wet bodies against one another. It was strange. Normally when we possess straight men, we could feel their dormant souls try to resist against us having fun with their bodies. I expected Kabir and Akshay to do the same, but they never did! It was almost as if their bodies were enthusiastic about us having our fun. Perhaps, they’ve already done what we were doing?

Whatever. It doesn’t matter. All that mattered was that Akshay had a hand around my neck, choking me while keeping me pressed against the shower wall. I opened my mouth and Akshay spit in my mouth. I swallowed it like a good boy, then I jumped onto Akshay. He held me up while we resumed kissing. Then, while our lips were locked together, he began to lower me down onto his cock. I could feel his dick tap against my hole, then it slid right in.

“OHH FUCKK!!!” I couldn’t hold back my moans. The pleasure of having Akshay’s whole length inside me… My hole expanding to accommodate his girth was too much to hold back!

“You like that? You want this big, brown cock inside you?”

“Fuck yeah! Fuck me!!”

“Beg for it then.” He started teasing me by thrusting himself into me slowly.

“Please bro! Please fuck me hard!! I want you… I need you… Arghh!!”

Akshay started picking up the pace of his thrusts. I thought I saw stars with every deep stroke he gave me. We were probably making a lot of noise between my moans and his grunts, but we didn’t care. We fucked like animals with our new jock bodies and we weren’t ashamed of it!

It only took us another few minutes of fucking before we were both close. Akshay pulled out and let me down to the ground. We then started tugging our dicks together until we covered both ourselves and the shower stall with our cum. We were both panting as we shot load after load of our sweet spunk out. We then made out again one last time while we were still covered with each other’s cum before the shower washed it away. It was hot, and it was definitely the last body hopping adventure we needed before our powers expired for good.

Once we finished having our fun, Jack and I were ready to leave. We never bothered cleaning up, we just depossessed the bodies and let them take care of it. Jack and I shared one last loving look as Akshay and Kabir before leaving. However, when we tried forcing our souls out of their bodies, we couldn’t! No matter how hard or how much we tried, we just couldn’t leave! We ended up having to clean up after ourselves for once. We did that quickly, then got dressed and left the gym as fast as we could. We had no idea what was going on! But then I caught a glimpse of the time. It was already 1:30AM! It was already the next day! It was supposed to be a quickie, but I guess Jack and I got a little carried away…

All this happened two years ago. We’ve been living as Akshay and Kabir ever since then. Even to this day, neither of us know what could’ve happened that we’d end up trapped in these bodies. If I had to take a guess, I’d wager that when the witch said that our powers would expire permanently, she meant it way more seriously than Jack and I expected. Without those powers, we couldn’t even return to our original bodies! I don’t know, but honestly, I don’t care anymore. If anything, we’ve been blessed to have Akshay and Kabir’s lives as our own. Sure, Akshay’s new family is super traditional and they’re already setting him up for a bride, but that doesn’t matter to us. We still meet up in secret when nobody’s around. No matter who we are, we are lovers and nothing will ever take that away from us.

We’re not sure how exactly we’re gonna get past an arranged family, but as long as Akshay is by my side, we can overcome anything.

#male possession

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graveyard-cuddles · 2 months

Text

I'm thinking about Astarion again and how actually amazing it is that he managed to hold onto as much of himself as he did after having had everything about his identity and sense of self systematically stripped away from him. And how it's even more incredible he managed to do so without even getting to look at himself at all in all that time.

We know his trauma cut him off from his ability to trance and therefore his ability to recall memories from before he was turned. What must it be like to have nothing? Not even happy memories to look back on? A spawn. A dead thing to be used as his master sees fit. Tortured by Cazador and Godey. Starved to the point of constant hunger pain. Forced to use his body and sexuality to seduce people who sometimes not only disgusted him but who would sometimes even hurt him...AND through all of this, this whole nightmare, he can't even see his own face. Even his own perception of himself is stolen from him.

I've gone through some horribly low points in life. Points where I've felt like I was literally losing my mind or about to end it all. And sometimes in those moments, I just had to stare at myself in the mirror, look myself in the eye and literally talk myself down. There have been times where my mental state was so bad and my perception of reality so warped I HAD to look at my own reflection in the mirror to remind myself I was still real.

Astarion remembers so little of his face that he can't remember if he ever had a mole on his cheek or not. He can't remember the color of his own EYES. For as much as fans talk about the angst of him not being able to remember his own eyes I don't know if any of us could even imagine forgetting oneself so completely that such a defining physical characteristic is lost to memory. It's difficult to imagine as beings with limited lifespans. And imagine the added torment of being forced to use your looks to survive all while never being able to actually see yourself. (This is why I can't help but feel a bit annoyed when people say things like "Well it's a GOOD thing he can't see himself, can you imagine how annoying he would be?" Like sorry you find 'petty vanity' annoying, it still doesn't mean he deserved to have his sense of self-perception stripped away).

So much of him was killed in the process over those two hundred years of abuse and neglect in order to survive. I think it's fair to say Astarion likely wasn't a saint before he was turned by Cazador but we do know at one point there WAS a kind, sympathetic part of himself that took pity on that young man he spared. A part that I'm sure had to be killed in order for Astarion to survive and remain sane. And in ALL that time there was never once any moment where he could look at himself in the mirror and tell himself that he was still himself.

He lost everything, even the memory of his own eye color. But he wouldn't allow himself to be lost completely. He still talked back. Still screamed the loudest when tortured. Still held onto his anger, his rage his burning desire for revenge. And when he gets the opportunity to take his freedom he fucking LEAPS for it. He is so bound and determined to STAY free once he is free he would literally rather die than go back to Cazador. He's a survivor above all else and I love him so much.

#bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion meta

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aristhought · 1 year

Text

some of my fave crow facts

they stay in touch with their parents and relatives well into adulthood; they help raise future offspring by building and guarding nests, bringing food, and taking care of their younger siblings. those who leave have been known to return and visit their family visit years later.

roosts can have a literal pecking order, where older and more dominant crows will sleep at the top of trees/electrical lines etc, so you can sometimes tell where a crow is in the hierarchy by whether or not they have bird poop on them by the morning.

they have been known to build decoy nests to throw off predators (including humans) if they sense that they’re being watched while nest building. they’ll construct a fake one whilst actually building a real one elsewhere that they return to when they’re not being watched.

different crows have different “dialects” based on where they live, even if they’re the same species. crows can sound drastically different from region to region, as they learn their language based on where they were born and grew up.

they are songbirds, and apart from the distinct caw, they also make a wide variety of other sounds including whistles, chirps, barks, and clicks.

yes they can remember human faces and have a superb ability to recognize people they like/dislike, as well as pass on this information to other crows.

they are extremely intelligent problem solvers and have been known to, as one example, toss walnuts onto roads and wait for cars to run over and crack them open before retrieving them.

they love to play and can be incredibly mischievous, and will tug on the tails of much larger animals for no other reason other than for fun and to get a reaction.

they forage for food in little groups, where a few of them look for food whilst a couple of others will be perched higher up nearby to keep watch.

they host “funerals,” where huge numbers will gather around a dead crow, exchanging loud and alarmed caws.

they form deep and long lasting social bonds with other crows, not just their mates or direct family.

they can also form deep and lasting friendships with humans who are kind to them, which can last not only for their whole lifespan but also continue through their offspring.

#reposting this cus tumblr was glitching out when i made the first version #anyways...i love crows so much theyre one of my fave animals and prob top contender for all time favourite #crows #corvids #birds #biology #nature #j.exe

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allastoredeer · 8 days

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I'm with you there on preferring bottom!Alastor and getting squicked out by top!Alastor. The squick is worse for me when searching radioapple than radiostatic stuff, and I think it has more to do with the egregious amount of uke-fication of Lucifer that I've seen. Vox and Al get it sometimes too, let's be real that's gonna happen in any mlm ship. But I feel like it happens SO often to Lucifer, mostly cause he's small and cute, that people completely forget he's the oldest and most powerful entity in hell.

He would NOT be genuinely scared or intimidated by Al or any other sinner for that matter and Al would NOT be able to physically overpower or threaten Luci. It just feels so wildly out of character for me that any of the appeal of the ship/characters is gone at that point.

Like, for real, no shade to anyone that likes that, go on and get your food. But my extreme dislike of it has me now avoiding bottom!Lucifer radioapple like the plague just so I don't risk being subjected to it.

I think...I think you just described why I feel so squicked out by bottom!Lucifer and top!Alastor 😦 Like, I couldn't figure out what exactly about it was throwing me off, but you just said it perfectly!!

That's literally it! It's the uke-fication of Lucifer. That's it. Lucifer would never feel threatened by Alastor. He would never be overpowered by Alastor. So when I see depictions of Alastor successfully intimidating Lucifer, or overpowering him at all, it just throws me out of the story.

Lucifer's been alive longer than Hell. Alastor's measely 100+ years of being alive is nothing compared to his millennia+ lifespan. And yeah, Lucifer is the strongest person in Hell, he could beat Alastor in any fight, no question. He has no reason to be scared or threatened by him.

And look, there are ways to get Lucifer to a point of being afraid. There are always a way to make characters act in a way you wouldn't typically see. In fact, Lucifer, the biggest, baddest person in Hell, being threatened by something would be a huge thing for his character and for the story. That could totally work!

But when it comes from Alastor just going into his demon form, or looming over Lucifer, I just 🥲 it takes me out of the story. I can't. Alastor may be a big bad Overlord, and he's dangerous for sure, but like...power-wise he is just not on Lucifer's level and Lucifer knows that--Alastor knows that--and this is what makes their dynamic so, SO interesting, especially if they're in a relationship or slowly building into a relationship. That's what makes it so spicy and flavorful. The push and pull. The insecurity and emotion. The complex dynamic between them.

I think you're right about it making bottom!Lucifer and top!Alastor lose its appeal. I went back through my Twitter bookmarks yesterday and found a few top!Alastor's & bottom!Lucifer's that I've saved, but I've come to dislike that generalized characterization of it so much that I avoid it it like the plague too.

And like you said, there's no hate to those who enjoy it. This is fandom and people are allowed to write, draw, and do what they want. It's all fiction and it's not hurting anyone.

I just don't like the top!Alastor & bottom!Lucifer dynamic in most fan-arts, and I don't click onto fics with it cause I just don't want to subject myself to an unenjoyable time 😂 I'm here to have fun too, afterall.

#thank you anon you really just described it so perfectly #I hate it when characters get boiled down and uke-ified #especially the ones that are the shorter person in the relationship #it happens in EVERY fandom #in every ship #and i just ;kjsdgnnk #god its one of my biggest pet peeves #I can't stand it #that is also why I enjoy more RadioStatic content too #its there too like you said #but it's not nearly as prevalent #Alastor gets to bottom in StaticRadio a lot more and I really enjoy it #Lucifer being softened and boiled down into a soft little UwU boi it my greatest enemy #gosh I hate it SO much #with a burning passion #this was a fantastic ask to recieve #thank you anon #for real #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #appleradio #anon #asks #lucifer #hazbin lucifer

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ohbo-ohno · 8 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/ohbo-ohno/727811822719320064/httpswwwtumblrcomohbo-ohno727772647768850432

was going back through your blog and saw the lil note about omega reader not being to shower alone ever and like…yeah, not even allowed to use the stand-up shower. They give you baths and only baths. Not only does it keep you safe, but it’s a huge form of control for them to be the ones in charge of hygiene. Plus they can check to make sure you’re not trying to hurt yourself in any way, can see if you’re eating enough.

You tried to sneak away into the bathroom and locked the door to take a shower one day, but Simon was there as soon as he heard the water turn on, kicks the door in, and is yanking you away from the shower immediately despite your scared cries. Reprimands you and then strips you before starting a bath. He takes his time cleaning you, whispering to you the whole time about how dangerous it is for you to bathe alone. What if you fell and hit your head and drowned? What if the water gets too hot and you hurt yourself? But it’s okay, he’s there now to make sure you’re safe while he’s wetting your hair. You cry the whole time, frustrated beyond belief, but also because this moment is so intimate and tender as Simon meticulously and lovingly bathes you like it’s the only thing he was made to do in life. Your brain can’t reconcile scary alpha Simon with sweet and tender alpha Simon.

this is like a week old but it really works for me. abo au my beloved

every time i get an ask about dollification my lifespan increases 5 years. keep them coming, my power only grows

he wouldn't really punish you - you really just toed the line of breaking a rule, and not even really a rule they'd put in place, just an implied one - so he's scolding you all softly while he washes you. details every little thing that could go wrong if you shower alone - how you could fall, break an arm or a leg or an ankle or any number of things, bust your head open, fuck, even getting shampoo in your eyes is too much pain for his omega.

you're crying and he doesn't even really comfort you >:( just keeps getting onto you in that soft voice, washing you so gently even when you try to pull against him. he refuses to be rough with you during bath time. he's sooo attentive, gets every single inch of skin soaped up, scrubs every nook and cranny of your body, and all completely nonsexually. he's not interested in getting either of you off (but you can scent his arousal, gets your hackles up and makes you stiff when he manhandles you) he literally just wants to take care of you. purrs the whole time :(

#need beloved's abo au so BAD im gonna read it twenty million times #asks and answers #abo au

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getinthefuckingjaeger · 1 month

Text

the problem with Scamanders

for @jakes3resin (you did a lot, my turn for presents now)

“You could have written, you know.”

Bucky’s legs stopped as though glued to the cobbled street of the little village he found himself wandering that night. His shoulders fell back along with his head, neck tilted almost painfully to the night sky as he heaved a great sigh. Christ and Merlin, here we fucking go.

He stayed stubbornly still, ignoring the crick in his neck the longer he tilted his head like that. It's not a bad view - an explosion of stars in the night sky fills his eyes in the absence of a German air raid. The shops in the highstreet of this unassuming village in Ipswich are all asleep around him. Thin fog that isn't really a fog flows languidly between his military-shine boots before climbing his legs like vines to a tree. The magic is warm like sunshine and soft as a caress when it touches Bucky’s hands. He flexed his fingers to disperse the white wisps and tuck them into his trousers pockets.

He still absolutely refuses to budge. No, sir.

“Merlin, you’re still as stubborn as a Hippogriff, aren’t you Johnny?” A low chuckle cuts through the otherwise quiet night and Bucky can hear the sounds of expensive Oxfords getting closer to where he stands, until there is a wall of flesh and magic by his side, a firm shoulder pressing against his. “Come on, then. Give us a smile.”

Bucky grimaces at the sky. Looks down at his feet with another sigh. Then looks to his side, and into a face so much like his own.

With wizards' lifespan as long as it is, the face Bucky sees had barely aged from the last time he saw it. The same gold skin tanned by Quidditch, the same dark mahogany curls falling from its coiffed hairstyle and hanging over the same dark blue eyes - almost navy in the darkness.

But where there’s an absence in signs of age, there is stark evidence of war on that familiar face. Bucky notes the discolored scars peppering the left side of the man’s face like something exploded too close for comfort, the way his nose sits a little crooked like it was set-wrong and far too late to rectify, and - Bucky paused a moment to stare - a thin, barely visible line that runs from under his left ear to his adam’s apple.

Familiar aftershave fills his lungs, reminding him of a childhood on a vast estate and the summer sun warming his back, as he paddles through cool sparkling waters of the massive fountain on the cul de sac of their mansion’s driveway. He can almost hear his aunt’s exasperated complaints and boisterous laughter of his cousin and uncles, the sounds of struggle as his father tried to push Newt off his perch on the edges of the marble fountain.

That was another life, then.

“Auror Scamander, sir.” Bucky lets the mask of Major Egan take over as he steps away from his cousin. “Hope you’ve been well, sir.”

Only years with Buck could ever prepare him to withstand the quiet, appraising look that Theseus is giving him. The stare weighs heavy on his chest as he looks just over Theseus’ shoulder as he would to any senior officer in the USAAF. Theseus, damn the man, tilts his head just so and catches Bucky’s eyes - his smile is tired, resigned.

“I’ve been better - the ah, hunt keeps me on my toes, so to speak.” Bucky watches as Theseus tugs lightly at his coat and white silk scarf. “Newt sends his regards, as does Tina - he also sends his thanks, for looking after Frank the... Thunderbird?”

Bucky and Theseus share a commiserating look, the first one in almost a decade since Bucky was sent back. It wasn’t a chore to disapparate from Texas to the deserts of Arizona after lights out a few times a month. Certainly one of the most rewarding things he’s ever voluntarily done, to be able to run his hands over the beak of such a majestic creature. It’s through Frank that Bucky realizes the calm that one can find sitting in the middle of a literal storm as the massive avian flies over his head.

I fell in love with the big birds, Buck told him once. Bucky had agreed, but couldn’t explain that his big bird is a little more literal than Gale’s. And that it creates thunderstorms when it flies.

The glint of Theseus’ cufflinks pulls Bucky away from desert storms and back into the cold English night air. The Scamander crest twinkles under the starlight like a taunt. Bucky didn’t even realize Theseus had put out all the street lights. Goddamn aurors.

He moves to a parade rest to remind himself of who and where he is now - that he’s no longer just John Egan, cousin of Newton and Theseus Scamander, the three remaining Scamander.

“Why haven’t you written, Johnny?” Theseus remains a respectable distance from him, but Bucky can tell how much he’s probably itching to shake him by the shoulders in frustration. “Years of silence from you and your mother’s family in Wisconsin. Newt tried to look for you when he’s stateside, but you’re always never there. It's like you vanished - if Frank hadn’t hinted at it, or if your likeness weren't still moving on the family tapestry we’d have thought you dead.”

Bucky tenses just as Theseus rocks back on his heels like the weight of his anger was a physical thing.

“What was it all for then, if we thought you died, too?”

It plays out like a picture reel in Bucky’s head - him, at eight years old with his right hand in Theseus’ left as they walk down the carpeted floor of the Scamander ancient mansion. 27, a war hero, as tall as the suit of armors that used to dot the hallways and the greatest wizard he’s ever known. Then there was Newt, only a year younger than Theseus, his figure painted in hues of red, purple, and green from the large stained glass windows - Bucky can still recall Newt’s excited chatter about all the wonderful creatures on the estate and the Hippogriffs that Aunt Artemis has in her enclosure.

Then Bucky, at thirteen years old and shaking with barely suppressed excitement as he clutched his shiny new broomstick that Theseus gave him for Christmas. The grand bubble of joy that buoyed him through the entire afternoon of flying lessons with Theseus, half the family sitting on picnic blankets spread over snow covered grounds, the fabric charmed to be warm and dry. The lightness he felt as he shot himself across the estate grounds despite Theseus’ yelling is something he has tried time and time again to recreate as his fort lifts-off.

And finally at eighteen, once again walking down the carpeted floor of the Scamander mansion. Alone, at night, confused and hurting. Aunt Artemis had gone to town that autumn morning with his parents but none returned. Newt has disappeared - likely on another errand for Dumbledore - and he has never seen Theseus so angry as he threw Aurors, his own colleagues, out of their parlor.

The subsequent argument he had with Theseus - just the memory of it brings him shame of how it inevitably ended.

“You need to go, Johnny - Grindelwald is hunting us down.”

“I can fight, T - I’m of age!”

“I know, I know, you can. I just can’t allow you - think of the family, Johnny. Grindelwald will try to kill you and Newt to get to me, and I can’t protect both of you at once.”

“Fine, I get it. Can’t trust the half-blood to take care of himself, huh?”

“You said I needed to go and I did what you told me to.”

Bucky drops the parade rest and shoves his hands in his pockets where Theseus cant see how they shake. Un-fucking-believeable that he’s flown multiple missions, have survived so many things he shouldn’t up there where hell resides above the clouds, but his hands have never shaken like this. Not once. “I had a lot of time to think and I realized - as much as I fucking hated it- you couldn’t afford distractions.”

“It’s not like that-”

Bucky shakes his head and shuffles in his boots. He itches for a cigarette. “I ain’t saying that to be an ass, T. I understand that now more than ever - this war I’m fighting… it puts things in perspective.”

“I see.”

And Theseus does see - Bucky holds his gaze for as long as he can stand. He kicks a loose stone and it skids neatly over to Theseus’ toes. His cousin nudged the stone back to Bucky. They share a grin. “How bad is it, your end?” He falls back into parade rest, puts away John Egan who was once Mr. Scamander to his peers in Hogwarts, and brings Major Egan to the forefront once again.

“As well as it is going for yours, I’d imagine Major.” Theseus, always the best one out of the three Scamander scions at reading people, adjusts his posture from soft and imploring, to hard and imposing. Demanding respect, like the Head of the British Auror Office. He pursed his lips in thought. “You may want to properly practice your wandless magic, Major Egan. I’ll take care of MACUSA and the Ministry.”

Bucky splutters. He thinks of an alder wand that used to be an extension of himself and how the yoke of his B-17 can never replace that kind of power.

“How do you expect me to do that, sir?” He grits out. Easy, John, easy now the Buck in his head soothes his ire. “Between the suicide missions and trying to keep everyone’s head on straight - how the fuck do you expect me to do that, sir?”

“You’ll figure it out, Major.” It came out like an order. Theseus’s lips quirked. “You apparrated from one state to another back in your Muggle flight school, didn’t you? Apparating from London tonight must have been a breeze. Power like that needs tending to. Particularly when you have talent for wandless casting.”

“With all due respect, sir, but last I checked you’re not my CO - you ain’t even an American, so you can kindly shove-”

“Do it for Major Cleven and your boys, then.”

The ensuing silence rings through Bucky’s head as the streetlights come back up one by one. Theseus’ hard look softens just a touch as he walks backwards and away from Bucky.

“I heard your boys are flying a mission tomorrow morning - Bremen again, I think - arresto momentum and subtle shielding charms will do.” Theseus winks, then apropos of nothing, said “I’ll come round’ for tea.”

That broke through Bucky’s bewildered suspension, but not fast enough to stop Theseus from disapparating with a soft pop.

“Goddamn wizards.”

Bucky spun and disapparate just as the last streetlight returned.

#john egan #theseus scamander #bucky egan #masters of the air #mota #jaeger writes #john scamander au

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saint-ambrosef · 2 months

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PSA: the vast majority of commercial dog food is terrible for your dog, and you cannot feed a dog a "vegan" (or vegetarian) diet.

Dogs are what is called facultative carnivores, meaning they can and will eat food that is not part of their typical, ideal diet if circumstances call for it. This is why they are often called omnivores (the line between facultative carnivores and omnivores is debated). Comparatively, obligate carnivores, like cats, cannot process non-carnivorous food at all.

This means that although the primary and default diet of domesticated dogs is other animals, dogs' digestive systems are capable of digesting other food sources like plants if a carnivorous option is not available: in other words, if they're hungry enough, they can "get by" on less ideal food sources.

Although dogs' systems can tolerate some plant material in their diet, they will not thrive on a long-term diet high in carbohydrates. This is because while dogs' pancreases do produce amylase (the enzyme that breaks down carbs), it's not nearly as much as true omnivores like humans, and can even vary quite a bit from dog-to-dog. They also don't produce cellulase at all. So a diet high in plant material for too long can be hard on their systems and lead to long-term serious health affects that will shorten their lifespan, such as early organ failure and heart disease - yes, even if they "seem great" on the day-to-day.

Ideally, a dog's diet should not be more than 15% plant material. However, the vast majority of commercial dog food is only 30% animal-derived ingredients, because 30% is the industry required minimum in order to be commercially sold. Even a lot of brands that boast about having "high animal protein" are often only hitting the 60% benchmark. Why? Because plant foods like legumes, sweet potatoes, and grains are a much, much cheaper way to "bulk up" the dog food than using 85-95% animal products. And then they artificially add in a ton of vitamins and nutrients to make them "nutritionally complete" (because plant nutrients are less bioavailable to carnivores), whereas a dog would easily get them from a diet with correctly proportioned inclusions of organs and bones.

Don't even get me started on ""vegan"" dog foods. A diet that is 100% plant based is straight up animal cruelty for a facultative carnivore like dogs and you cannot change my mind. You're literally taking years off your pet's lifespan in the name of your ideology. If you want a pet you can feed a completely plant-based diet without consequence, get a rabbit.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as an easy or cheap pet, and dogs aren't an exception. I understand that feeding a dog a proper diet is an expensive venture. The best dog food you can buy at the pet store will still be below the ideal, and it will cost $$$. Just do the best you can for your circumstances. Even occasionally swapping commercial food for a little raw animal supplementation can help. Avoid kibble with legumes or potatoes.

And if you're thinking of getting a dog... I mean this gently, but you need to seriously consider whether you can actually afford to feed them. Don't get pets unless you can afford all the care they require.

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shotokimchi · 1 year

Text

When Their S/O Is a Seggs God 2

Minors DNI

A/N: Here's a part 2 since I had so much fun while writing the first one, I appreciate the reblogs and the comments!

I'm planning to continue this drabble and write for other characters too, so you can suggest different fandoms as well.

Note: They arent in an established relationship in Dabi's one

Characters are aged up! Part1 w/Shoto and Katsuki

Dabi

So you and Dabi are playing this game called cat and mouse for a while since you are a pro hero and whenever the League is causing trouble, your main target is always him

Why you ask?

You see, you have this very important hero-like reason...

You think he's hot.🔥 (fair enough)

So when you and your friends get a call from the police, telling you that the League is gonna strike (act like bitchy teens) again, being the responsible server of society you are, you immediately attend the mission

After telling your hero friends Shoto, Deku, Pinky and Dynamight that you are trailing quietly behind Dabi you turn off your earphone and watch your villain crush slowly make his way into a narrow alley

Then you hear Pinky's voice in your ear "ThickThighs, you need to distract him till we get there." (Yes your hero name?)

IT IS NOW YOUR TIME TO SHINE

In a swift motion, you appear in front of him and a sly smirk makes its way onto his lips

"Well well the stalker hero is here."

"You are lucky Dabi because i like my meat burnt." (🍆)

Before he can process what nonsense you are talking about he finds himself on the ground laying on his back while you are keeping his head locked between your thighs, he quickly grabs your thighs and you feel his hands warming up "I'll turn you into a roasted chi-"

"Want a quick head?"

The cockroach is speechless

....

"W-"

Not waiting for his brain to function, you put your juicy phat ass on his face 🍑🍑

And face toward his portal opener leg spreader zucchini, then quickly get him out of his cheap drugstore pants

Your soft hand finally meets his touch starved lonely villain dick and starts pumping him like REAL FAST

literally can create electricity with how fast you are jerking him off

too bad he cant see whats happening since all he can see is your ass on his face

but you are giving a real show to the street rats so

lucky rodents ig 🐭

He is grunting and moaning uncontrollably into your core

Legit thinks you have an extra sex-related quirk or smthn Thought his dick was on fire and got scared for a moment bc it was getting too hot thanks to the speed of your hand so tried to pry you off of his face but you quickly caged his arms with your thighs (Even Nicki Minaj is jealous of your thighs at this point) Eventually gives in since you are giving him the time of his life but mf wasn't ready for your brand new Dyson V12 Detect Slim Vacuum 👅👅👅

HOW ARE YOU SUCKING THAT STRONG IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

boy ejaculated in 45 seconds and wants the ground to swallow him whole LMAO and to make it even worse you even compared 45 seconds to a butterflies lifespan

to make him feel better ofc

"If you look at it, it's probably like 5 years for a butterfly Dabi don't worry."

yep, he definitely wants to kill you now

Quickly gets up to scurry away, you embarrassed the baddy ok his pride is HURT he won't let you see him in this pathetic state

so he cages you with his flames and disappears once you manage to escape but not before scraping his private number on the concrete so you can see it later with his initials on the bottom

BC WHAT WAS THAT YOU ARE AMAZING

HE WANTS ANOTHER ROUND SO HE CAN TAKE REVENGE

so when you see it you are doing the happy dance you can finally see him again

not before getting interrupted with an awkward cough from your earphone tho

"We heard everything Y/n..."

Izu says

"Y/N THAT WAS MY BROTHER AND YOU KNOW THAT"

POOR SHOTO

and Katsuki is probably gagging in the background

...

"She ate tho."

Thanks, Mina (got them villains whimpering under your ass💅)

Midoriya

So when I tell you that Midoriya worships the ground you walk on it is not an exaggeration 🛐

Baby is that in love with you and wants to spend his whole life with you so he decides to wait till marriage

Virgin Pro hero Izuku is so attractive ok no buts like he's the number one hero in the whole world so strong, undefeatable and scary to the villains

But when it comes to you he just wants everything to be so special and perfect, always smiling and making sure you're feeling loved

Baby thinks you deserve all of his firsts KHDASDKJS- CUTE

So when he gets on one knee and asks you to marry him while you guys were out on a trip to Spain you can't help but jump around in your cute summer dress while hugging him and screaming "YES" at the top of your lungs

AND NOW . . .

THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME

In his head(notebook), everything is planned

-Drink champagne together

-Take a bubble bath together

-Give her a massage

-Warm up a little bit(yes literal work out)

-Make love

he totally wrote it into his notebook. 📝

It's hidden in the drawer and you dont need to know that

BUT

Before he can open the drawer and take a slight peek at his notes, you are suddenly butt naked and sitting on the bed calling for him with your sweet voice

Baby literally SCREAMED when he saw you

Because you are so gorgeous WTF Asks if you want a drink first and you say no, then realizes the notes aren't helping him with shit so gets in front of the bed and quickly starts doing stretches And you are giving him the *tf is he doing* look but meh you are used to his weird antics already lol cant pull a muscle babes so you sigh and drag him onto the bed

literally looks at you like this LOL AND HAS A HAND RESTING ON HIS HIPS TOO BOY WE DIDNT EVEN STARTED- Don't get mad at him he is just that nervous

Smiling at his silliness you slowly drag him on top of you and start kissing his shaky lips and it actually helps him ease up a bit

..till you start pinching and massaging his nipples

Baby literally squeaks and tries to move away only to be stopped by your legs around his waist, caging him and pulling him towards you more "Where are you running off to, hm?" Bro is about to cream his boxers HE KNOWS THAT YOU'RE A VIRGIN SO HOW ARE YOU SO EFFORTLESSLY DOMINANT? Guess all of that smut you've read paid off well

You make him lay on his stomach while whining and whimpering with you on his back stroking his cock from behind

%100 gripping the sheets and biting down on the pillow so he doesnt disturb the people on the floor

but you have other plans so you grab his chin lift his face and shove 2 fingers in his mouth

He just obeys you like that bc he doesn't know what to do aww he is too embarrassed at this point

gets 20 spanks on his plump buttocks bc you just love seeing them jiggle

GO EASY ON HIM ITS HIS FIRST NIGHT

But you show no mercy and suggest trying the position "69"

Surprisingly he is very eager to do it, it sounds so erotic to him he ends up cumming 3 times just from your mouth and when you finally cum on his face you quickly grab your phone, open your camera and tell him to smile

Best selfie ever: Tired looking izuku with your cum on his face smiling shyly at the camera

Baby is bathing in his own sweat at this point

But is y/n done?

NO NOT EVEN CLOSE? So the night continued like that, you acting like letting him take the lead then swapping the roles and embarrassing him non-stop milking him till his balls turn into deflated balloons 🎈

That's how the first sex tape of the Midoriya couple was created and trust me, there are many tapes to be filmed

And believe it or not, whenever he goes drinking with his hero friends, he gets so drunk that he spills every spicy detail about your sex life and everybody in the room listens to him in awe, with jealousy and mouths wide open.

A/N: AAAAHHHH FINALLY DONE HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT, reblogs and feedbacks r appreciated!

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