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blackbird-brewster · 1 month

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Highlights from Catherine Tate's Q&A Panel at Armageddon Expo 2024 (NZ) :

[I took notes best I could during the panel but some may be paraphrased]

Q: What's your favourite Doctor Who alien?

CT: The wonderful Ood!

Q: Who's your favourite Doctor? (Crowd gasps in anticipation)

CT: Well, I get asked this a lot, and obviously it's David (Tennant). I don't know what number he is, he keeps coming back. But definitely, David. Although, someone recently pointed out that I was technically the first ever female Doctor. So you know what? Me, I'm my favourite Doctor.

Q: What's your favourite episode you were in of Doctor Who?

CT:The Runaway Bride, because that's where it all began.

Q: What's a favourite memory of working with David Tennant on Doctor Who?

CT: The scene in 'Partners in Crime', the one with the Adipose, there's the scene where Donna and the Doctor see each other from across a room. But they're both behind glass and they have the whole mime scene with the windows. Well, I remember it was about 3am when we were filming that - - Russel really likes to film at night if the story is taking place at night - so it was 3am, and I said to the director 'Uh, right here it just says Donna Mimes' and he said 'Yeah do whatever'.

So that whole scene was ad-lib during shooting and David and I were so in sync with it, we did that first take and the director said cut and print!

Q: How emotional were you filming your final scene in Journey's End?

CT: So, we didn't always film in order. And I'm not really a sentimental person, but I will say I thought Donna's ending was absolutely perfect. When she meets the Doctor she was always yelling at the world, and she was so different than what she was by the end, she had so much growth with the Doctor and she changed so much in her time with him, but then, she forgets the him and all those memories. And that final scene, what really got me was how he says 'Donna, I'm off' and she's just, I think she's on the phone, and she just waves dismissively. She doesn't know him anymore. Russell, the way he ties things together, he's brilliant, that man.

Q: What was it like working with Bernard (Cribbins)?

CT: Oh, Bernard. God, I love him. He was so funny and talented. He always had stories and voices and sound effects. He loved making people laugh. But we had a gag where every single time I called him I'd say (Donna Voice) 'GRANDAD!'

He'd say, "Who is this?"

"It's Catherine."

"Catherine who?"

"Catherine Tate"

"Never heard of her."

We did this every time I called him and I loved it.

Q: Is there anything annoying about working with David Tennant?

CT: No, absolutely not. He's perfect. He's the best person to work with. I will say though, I was annoying him a lot. When we did the 60th Anniversary specials, our trailers looked exactly the same and I never knew where my trailer was. I'd walk into his all the time!

Sometimes I'd walk in and see his shoes in the trailer and instead of thinking 'Oops, wrong trailer', my brain went 'What's he gone and left his shoes in my trailer for?'

It got so bad, sometimes I'd walk up the stairs and from inside I'd hear 'NO.'

Q: Was it weird coming back to play Donna after all these years? Especially when it was along side David Tennant?

CT: It was a bit weird, more in the 'Oh I hope i still know how to do this' way than anything. But I did think it would be hilarious if David and I arrived on set and every take we just did completely wrong voices. Just thought it'd be hilarious for him to go (in an airy upper-crust British accent) 'Ohhhh, hellloooo. I'm the Doctor'

Q: If you could take any prop from set, what would you take?

CT: Ohhhh, I'd have very large pockets and see what I could fit. But mostly I think it'd be a sonic screwdriver. It's gotta be a sonic screwdriver, doesn't it? It's small and mobile... Easy to steal. Plus, it'd fetch a great price on Ebay!

Q: Best show you've ever worked on?

CT: The Office, they paid me tons of money.

Q: My mum loves David Tennant, is there something you can say to dissuade her?

CT: Hm, something to convince her he's not.... Oh, he doesn't believe in astrology! I'll say 'It's Mercury Retrograde' and he'll say 'NO, NO, NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT'.

Other Highlights:

As soon as she came out, she saw the stage had no steps to the audience, so she stayed on mic and went the long way round to go into the audience and interview people, trying to find who had traveled the furthest to be here. She was sorely disappointed everyone was just from Aotearoa 🤣

Donna Lines She Performed:

"Oi Spaceman! You're not mating with me sunshine!" (Crowd went wild for that)

"Binary. Binary. Binary." (🥺)

She did some of her characters: Lauren Cooper mostly, but also wished someone Happy birthday as Nan

#Catherine Tate #Donna Noble #Doctor who #Lauren Cooper #Catherine Tate show #About me 2k24 #The great cate tate adventure #dw 60th #David Tennant #tenth doctor #fourteenth doctor

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theleotarot · 3 months

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What’s Next In Love For You? ♡

Choose the image you are most drawn to or resonate most with… pile 1, pile 2, pile 3, & pile 4 ✨

My Ko-Fi paid pac readings and tipping ♡

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Pile 1

(Ace of swords, The Sun, Queen of Wands, Death, Seven of Cups, Nine of Swords, Nine of Cups, Fulfillment, Partying, Judgement, & Wedding)

Hi Pile 1, welcome to your reading. ♡

I believe that in the past with love, you have experienced some sort of sadness or disappointment. Whether it be a separation from an ex partner, or you just cannot seem to find the right partner for you, you seem to have been drowning in your own pain in regard to your romantic life. I think some of you may have also thought to yourself “What have I done to deserve this in my life?” Well, I just want to say that you are beginning to find clarity within yourself. I believe that this pain that you’ve been through has pushed you to start doing things for yourself. Whether it be focusing on school, work, hobbies, or friends and family, you are now putting yourself first and not rushing to find love. You may have felt like love or a romantic partner would fulfill you, but I promise that this journey you have started to build yourself back up again will fulfill you much more than anyone or anything else could ever fulfill you.

I think that when love comes next into your life, you will be very happily single and in your own space. I think that it will be at a time in your life when you have accomplished what you wanted, and perhaps even at a time when you are very social. Even if you are more introverted, there will come a time when you begin to socialize with others for your benefit. I think you may even meet your next person in love through any sort of party, maybe a wedding. It does not have to be a big event, but I’m seeing that it is a place where you will socialize a lot with friends and you will be living in the moment at that time. I think when you are with this person, you will do activities that involve a lot of fun too. They will bring extreme joy and laughter in your life. Lots of playful energy here. You may take a lot of photos with this person too. I also think that when this person comes into your life, you will no longer have the mindset of “Nothing good with love ever happens to me” or “I am doomed to be alone.” This person will obviously shift your perspective on love and give you a lot of emotional support I am sensing. I think that your previous wishes and daydreams are coming true with this person. For instance, if you’ve always wanted someone who takes you on beach walks and cruises through the mountains with you while listening to music, you will absolutely get this from them. I’m thinking that you won’t even have to ask this person to do anything, they will do things on their own will and surprise you. I think that as an outcome of what’s happening next in your love life is that you are going to be emotionally fulfilled, but you may still have some anxiety surrounding your situationship or relationship with this person. I believe that this stems from the past though. You may be very breath taken by this person coming into your life, but you are still scared that love will fail you once again. Even though you may have fears about love failing on you still, I certainly believe that the next person in love coming towards you is definitely committed to you, or at least their feelings for you are very genuine. Pile 1, your wishes and dreams are transforming to life now, so keep going, and you will be where you have always wanted to be. ♡

Who is this person coming towards you next in love? – Ko-Fi extended reading

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Pile 2

(The Unknown Card, Five of Cups, Five of Wands, Queen of Wands, King of Cups, Knight of Pentacles, Three of Swords, Truth, Abundance, World, & Engagement)

Hi, Pile 2! Welcome to your reading. ♡

I think that right now, you may feel lost in your love life or unsure of how things ended like in your pervious love experience(s). I am getting a sense of feeling that you may have recently gone through a separation with an ex partner or love interest, or you may have just felt the need to back away from a certain person. I am also getting that some of you may still wonder about the truth of your past situation. Maybe you never got the truth or clarity you needed. For some of you, I’m getting that your ex partner may have been a narcissist or treated you poorly or took you for granted. This feeling of lost or separation has resulted you in feeling worried, I would say about your love life. I am also getting that you may struggle with moving forward in terms of your life as a whole. I’m getting that you do want to proceed with your life, but you just feel so stuck and you may feel uncertain of how you can move on with your life. Pile 2, I think with time though, you will for sure be able to expand your life, including your thoughts and actions with love. I think eventually you’ll be able to walk away from the uncertainty or loss you’ve had and begin to have many love opportunities given to you.

When love comes in for you next, I believe that you will still be in your feelings of sadness and loss of something you once loved or cared for. You will be at a time where you feel very unstable with your life and emotions. I think you’ll also be battling with yourself mentally. I think you really want to get rid of these feelings of emptiness, but your mind is still struggling to have positive thoughts to let you be happy. I do think that when this next person in love comes into your life, they will bring you lots of stability, respect, and admiration that you did not have before. It is amazing here that you once were in a place with the 5 of cups, feelings of sadness and emptiness, but with this next love, it will offer you the King of Cups, which is lots of stability and emotional fulfillment. I think this next love in your life will also teach you to be more confident in yourself and you will gain clarity in terms of your romantic life. I think with this next person, they will offer you a very emotional connection too. A connection, I would say like soulmates. There will be a lot of passion and sparks between the two of you, I’m hearing laughter in your conversations. The type of love where you playfully run in their arms to spin you around, or vice versa. I think that the point of your union with this person is for you to experience a love that you have never received before, while also helping you to love yourself and build you stronger than ever before. Your next love really uplifts you to find yourself I would say. I believe that in the early stages of your connection with this person, your connection will develop very slowly, and because of this, you will feel like they might be playing you, not serious with you, or just don’t feel for you like you do for them. It will make you feel worried or upset, but Pile 2, I just want to say that they certainly do feel for you. They do take you seriously, and after these early stages, you and your next person in love will have a very young, free flowing, and innocent type of love. I think this love will also heal your inner child. Your union together is to make you both stronger as individuals and learn about the opportunities in life. ♡

Who is this person coming towards you next in love? – Ko-Fi extended reading

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Pile 3

(King of Wands, Five of Swords, The Moon, Temperance, The Chariot, The Hermit, Strength, Wisdom, Passion, & It Is Safe For You To Love)

Hi, Pile 3, welcome to your reading! ♡

I think you have recently overcome lots of obstacles or you’ve gone through some sudden unexpected change. Maybe this is a separation from an ex partner or person of interest. You may have had many sleepless nights worried about whatever situation that put you through anxiety or stress, but I believe that right now, you are in your power regarding love, education, career, money, and success. I think that the situations that you have gone through have left you no choice but to change yourself and proceed in your life in order for you to be happy. Perhaps right now you are picking up a new hobby, or trying to advance in a hobby. Maybe you are creating a small business or picking up a new side hustle. Maybe you are excelling in your classes much more than before. Your passion to succeed in life is dramatically increasing right now, and I just want to say Pile 3, although you don’t see it, with the adversity you go through, there are success, love, and wish fulfillment growing to life for you. Keep going my pile 3! You are in your power!

I think when love comes next into your life, I think you’re going to be a bit skeptical and in your head about it. I think when love is offered to you, you’ll think to yourself “Really? Why me?” It’s kind of like, you don’t really expect love to come your way because you’re not used to it, or love hasn’t did you well in the past. With this pile, Pile 3, I am hearing “Trust issues.” You may have this, just take what resonates. I think when love comes into your life, you’ll be afraid to open up to this person due to not wanting to get hurt. Maybe it takes awhile for you to trust someone and get comfortable with them for you to open up. You are most likely guarded. I think when love is offered to you next, you have probably been so much in your independence that you may hesitate to accept love. Eventually, you’ll let this fear subside though and you’ll begin to open up because you’ll feel intense passion with this next person in love. I think in the early stages of your situationship or relationship with them, you’ll realize that there is equal interest between the both of you, and that will help you open up much more. If you ever had to experience unrequited love, this next love coming towards you will be the complete opposite. This next person feels the chemistry and desire with you, and vice versa. They also have extreme loyalty and devotion to you. You’ll have a lot to talk about with this person. There are lots of texting, calling, and communication here in the courting stage. This next love will also offer you lots of traveling and lots of freedom as well. Lots of trips together, definitely. You may open up to this person slowly, but surely, you will feel comfortable with them in the end. Ultimately, this next love offer will help you gain inner strength, and let you know that it is okay to let love in and trust people with your heart. I think you’ll learn to love and enjoy having someone as company more than before, even if you are always used to being in solitude. I think you and this next person will have a lot in common in terms of your hobbies or activities you enjoy doing together. You’ll feel really safe with what’s coming towards you in love, Pile 3. Just remember that you are capable and worthy of a true, loyal, and healthy love. ♡

Who is this person coming towards you next in love? – Ko-Fi extended reading

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Pile 4

(King of Cups, Three of Wands, The Lovers, King of Wands, Death, Six of Pentacles, Four of Swords, Love, Blowing Kiss, Chariot, & Retreat)

Hi, Pile 4, welcome to your reading. ♡

I think right now in your life, you may have a person of interest, or someone in mind that you are attracted to and still debating if they are the one for you. I keep getting this energy in your reading that you definitely have someone, or you have your eyes on someone. If this isn’t the case, then I think there are other people who have their eyes on you and are interested in you, and they’ll be coming in pretty soon. I do think you are generally a more emotional human being though. Perhaps, you are a hopeless romantic. I also think that you do want to take your situation with this person to the next level. I’m thinking maybe you’d like to get to know them more, see them more, or go on more dates with them. For others who don’t have a person, I’m getting the feeling that you are very ready to let love come into your life right now. Maybe you are even seeking for romance right now. Pile 4, but I just want to say that your love life is really transforming right now, even if you don’t see it. I really feel like romance for you is close by.

When love comes next into your life, I think you’ll be super ready for it. Of course, if you already have someone in mind, you’ll be happy that you’re finally taking things to the next level with them. Again, I’m really feeling that what’s coming next in love for you is on the horizon. I think you’ll be planning a lot with this person. Maybe you will plan out the different types of dates you will go on, or maybe you will strategize ways to see them in real life just to talk to them. They will do the same. I’m getting that you’re actually super into them. There’s going to be a lot of talking between the two of you, and I’m getting that your affection for them is returned back to you. If you have already been texting, calling, or communicating with them, just know that your conversations are getting deeper and moving to the next level. It’s such a sweet love to start with. It’s like the beginning or courting stage will be filled with butterflies and nervousness because you both like each other a lot. I think that this next love coming towards you has to offer you a lot of expansion and growth in your love life. I think you’ll both take initiative and up lift each other in your relationship. There is so much giving and receiving here in your relationship with them. Maybe they might pay for a date, and later on, you’ll give them a gift, or maybe they’ll make you a special breakfast in the morning and then in the evening, you’ll surprise them with a homecooked dinner date. It’s things like this that I’m getting for you two. Love is returned here in this relationship. I also think, of course, you’ll no longer feel that intense feeling in your chest of “Oh do they like me like I like them? Will we ever be together?” like you once did before. By then, you would absolutely know that they feel a lot for you. Another thing I am getting with your reading is that this is the type of love where it feels like you are always in the honeymoon stage with them. You both are just so lovey dovey with each other, and the love won’t stop! With what’s coming next in love, there will be lots of giving and receiving as said before. You’ll receive this love that is reciprocated in all ways, and I think your mind and heart will be at ease when you are with this person. You’ll finally be able to get good night rests with what’s coming in for you. I think you’ll definitely think that this person was worth waiting for Pile 4. ♡

Who is this person coming towards you next in love? – Ko-Fi extended reading

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#tarot reading #love reading #pick a card #pick a pile #pac #love pac #free tarot reading #daily tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #paid readings #kofi #future spouse reading #relationship reading #crush reading #oracle #oracle reading

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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why i love aziraphale and why i find his character so heartbreaking

So I made a post on why I relate to Crowley and I adore him, obviously. I think a few you misunderstood what I meant there, though (which is understandable, I was a bit incoherent but that is inevitable on this blog). I wasn't saying Aziraphale didn't care about Crowley or was horrible to him, rather the opposite.

What I was saying was maybe Crowley felt unloved against his better judgement, because he knows he is loved by Aziraphale, but maybe everything he has been through has started to chip away at that knowledge. It's happened to me, I'm sure it's happened to a few of you. You are assured that you are loved, you can see them doing things for you, but you feel unloved. Maybe because of the other people who don't love you. Maybe because... you don't love yourself.

But I definitely wasn't putting down Aziraphale, who is a beautiful character. I adore him. I love how every single second, all his emotions are on his face. That's actually how I realised they'd switched bodies--in heaven, 'Aziraphale' had a cool, dismissive look on his face. That could only be Crowley, I knew, because Crowley is a bit better (not a lot, not around Azi of course) at masking his emotions.

That's what's so beautiful about Azi, we can just see how much he feels, how much he adores Crowley, how much hope he had, how much faith in Heaven, how much determination to do the right thing. How determined he is to keep Crowley safe, to make Crowley smile and laugh, and how much it kills him every time he has to push Crowley away for both of their sakes, or he thinks he has to. You both want to protect that optimism and faith, and also shake him and tell him the truth. But how do we know better than him, a 6000 year old angel? There's so much that we don't know, that may have happened behind the scenes, that's orchestrating his decisions.

Some of you are certain that there is more, that he doesn't still believe that what Heaven offers is genuine, because how could he? I'm also sure that there is more, but can I also offer an alternate idea? Even if there wasn't more, maybe he isn't to blame if he did continue to believe in Heaven's goodness.

We've been in toxic relationships. With friends, partners, family. I know how hard it is to accept that something you love is not worthy of that love. Something you admired is something flawed. Something you would do anything to keep is something you need to push away.

The worst of all, of course, is that time, somewhere in our childhood or teens or adulthood, when a lot of us realise our parent or parents are not heroes. That we don't agree with them. That they were wrong about a lot of things. Because they taught us everything, they were our guides, how could they be wrong? And if we can't believe in them, then what are we supposed to believe in?

Maybe Aziraphale is going through that journey, over all those millennia. Some of us are forced to realise it before we even turn ten, some of us haven't realised it yet, some of us may not ever or may not need to.

Maybe Aziraphale is just a child of God, realising that Heaven, his technical family, is not the Good that not only they but the entire world believes them to be. Everyone says Heaven is good, including a lot of Hell, including a lot of humankind, it's just given. What is Heavenly is good. And Aziraphale wants to be good.

But he's going through that painful journey of realising that good may not be what he was taught, that good comes in many shades and tints and hues. And we can see him do it, we can see him defy Heaven and God, for Crowley or for humans or for himself. He's doing it, and we need to see how it isn't easy for him. Having your entire system of belief deconstructed is painful and awful. And if you were wrong once, how do you know you won't be the next time?

It's hard enough for Crowley, torn between whether he was unworthy or whether Heaven was wrong. Imagine the tumult that Aziraphale goes through, because if Heaven accepts him and Heaven isn't always good, does that mean Aziraphale has been doing it all wrong all his life?

He's going through something that we all go through, and is every bit as relatable as Crowley is. I love them both so much. I'm so glad that there's a third season, to see how that arc closes, to see if maybe they find the answers we're all looking for.

@adverbian and @howmanyholesinswisscheese, I hope this helps? Again, I haven't watched season 2 yet and have a horrible memory since I've been watching season 1 heavily medicated, so this is just from what I know and can tell and headcanon, perhaps.

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alicesoinions · 9 months

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Aspects

My views on Homestuck's Aspects. Part of this analysis is the idea that Aspects have relationships to each other, each bringing the other about.

I will use my own custom Aspect symbols throughout, but the analysis itself is based on canon.

Space

Space is the Aspect of beginnings, of new things. Space experiments and improvises. Space cares about what is possible now, and cares more about the discoveries made in a journey than about a specific endpoint. Space is infinite discovery and potential.

Space is represented by art, fashion, atoms, and frogs.

Space is the color of the night sky, empty beyond human perception, endless and unfathomable but not featureless. Inky darkness, dotted by stars. Space has no color at all, which sometimes results in it using Sburb’s default texture.

Space is opposed to the Aspect of Time.

Space is the fundamental force of creation that gives rise to the duality of Life and Doom well as the unknown mysteries of Void.

Void

Void is the Aspect of the unknown. Of hidden, ill-defined things impossible for us to know or give names to. Void is the Aspect of true reality, of things on a spectrum, of quantum and biology.

Void is represented by water, darkness, and pumpkins.

Void is the color of deep waters, hiding what lies within; its color somewhere on a gradient, but impossible for humans to pinpoint or define no matter how long they stare; Void is the shifting hues of the color of the sky.

Void is opposed to the Aspect of Light.

The unexplored unknowns of the Void hide the untapped potential that is Space, leading to new creation.

Life

Life is the Aspect of agency and self-direction. Life is self-directed and idealistic; Life concerns itself primarily with what Life wants to do, not caring for obstacles or drawbacks. Life sees an infinitude of options, and picks the one it desires.

Life is represented by plants, food, coins, and wealth.

Life is opposed to the Aspect of Doom.

The ultimate freedom to do whatever one wants eventually leads to the ennui of Breath. The interplay of Life and Doom leads to defining one's self in Heart or hiding in Mind.

Doom

Doom is the Aspect of fate and constraint. Doom has burdens and limitations; Doom concerns itself with practical issues instead of lofty ideals. Doom sees no escape or negotiation, going with what others demand of you.

Doom is represented by skulls, death, and fire.

Doom is opposed to the Aspect of Life.

The practical matters and the knowledge of our limits leads to the endless toil of Blood. The interplay of Life and Doom leads defining one's self in Heart or hiding in Mind.

Breath

Breath is the Aspect of detachment. Breath goes with the flow, not caring about anything or anyone in particular; Breath does whatever feels right in the moment, not worrying about much.

Breath is represented by wind, leaves, and rivers.

Breath is opposed to the Aspect of Blood.

The freedom of exploration of and detachment of goals leads to the compromise and negotiation of Hope and to exploration of the self in Heart.

Blood

Blood is the Aspect of effort. Blood has lofty expectations, from both itself and others, and runs itself ragged to accomplish all of them. Blood cares intensely about what it does, without rest or thought.

Blood is represented by blood, sweat, stone, and iron.

Blood is opposed to the Aspect of Breath.

The exertion and toil of Blood eventually lead either to hiding in Mind or to the revolution of Rage.

Heart

Heart is the Aspect of self and emotion. Heart is a person's identity and definition, their emotions and their friendships and their biases. Heart goes with its gut. Heart cares about what its heart directs it to.

Heart is represented by music, hats, and horses.

Heart is opposed to the Aspect of Mind.

Heart’s loyalty and instinct lead to the upheaval of Rage and Heart’s caring nature leads to Blood.

Mind

Mind is the Aspect of thought and masking. Mind coldly adapts itself to circumstance, hiding the true self in order to blend in with what's acceptable. Mind is impartial. Mind weighs all the options, and picks the one most suited to the situation.

Mind is represented by masks, blindfolds, and scales.

Mind is opposed to the Aspect of Heart.

Mind’s bottling of emotions leads to the real detachment of Breath; and Mind’s adaptive nature leads to Hope.

Rage

Rage is the Aspect of rebellion. Rage is skeptical of what society presents as true, and fights tooth and nail for what it stands for. Rage riots and fights back; Rage would sooner bring revenge than healing. Rage fights for sudden change.

Rage is represented by fangs, beasts, and waves.

Rage is opposed to the Aspect of Hope.

In fighting against their shackles, one gains the newfound options of Life. Rage’s sudden changes forms half of the past events of Time.

Hope

Hope is the Aspect of diplomacy. Hope believes everyone is good at heart, and that everything could be solved if only everyone talked things out. Hope has blind faith and will sooner comfort a friend than hurt an enemy. Hope solves things slowly and steadily.

Hope is represented by religion, ribbons, and blankets.

Hope is opposed to the Aspect of Rage.

Hope’s compromises and negotiations lead to new shackles in the form of Doom. Hope’s slow changes form half the past events of Time.

Time

Time is the Aspect of the past. Time is concerned with traditions, patterns, and the inevitability of what came before. Time brings the authority of established rules and governance. Time looks to what was to decide what will come about.

Time is associated with gears, crowns, sand, and clocks.

Time is the color of a gear turning to rust, of blood leaving a vein, of a game timer running out. Time powers shine in all colors at once before they settle on one.

Time is opposed to the Aspect of Space.

The knowledge of the established patterns of Time leads to the knowledge and definition of Light.

Light

Light is the Aspect of definition. Light has clear rules, clear definitions, and clear answers. Light creates frameworks of understanding and puts things in black and white, right and wrong, relevant and irrelevant, which can sometimes lead to ignoring the gray areas between. Light is the Aspect of human knowledge of the world, our ideas, stories, and sciences.

Light is represented by the sun, fire, and compasses.

Light is the blazing color of the sun, impossible to look at for long, but shining its light everywhere, a white light that returns as a myriad of colors.

Light is opposed to the Aspect of Void.

The sharp delineations of Light ignore the gray areas outside definition, creating Void.

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #homestuck aspects #homestuck classpects #space aspect #void aspect #life aspect #doom aspect #breath aspect #mind aspect #rage aspect #hope aspect #time aspect #light aspect

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marasvenus · 7 months

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Your Next Step In School/Career ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

Pictures above are edited by me but are not mine :)

Pile 1┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Okay, Pile One, I think we have a bit to unpack here 😭 so for some of you, you might have just finished up with a degree, possibly a degree that’s taken a very long time to obtain. I think it could be some veterinary degree of sorts? That could only be for a few of you so take what resonates.

It’s gonna sort to get oddly specific here so pls bear with me 😭 you might be going back to your home town or maybe just somewhere you haven’t lived for a very long time. For some of you, you may have moved away from home to go to college and then moved away from that college to continue your education elsewhere and now you’re doing back to where this town that you went to this college is. (I hope that makes sense and again, it’s oddly specific so pls take what resonates and leave the rest!)

You may just be struggling to find work now that you’ve graduated and it could simply be that there’s not many jobs available where you currently live. For some of you, you might be applying to jobs where you’re moving to and not hearing anything back and it may be really stressing you out and causing you to rethink this decision.

I think you’re making the right decision and moving away is what’s best for you. A big part of the next step in your career is making connections within your field. Possibly on LinkedIn or by going out and meeting new people. I think putting yourself out there and meeting new people will be what gets you a job or maybe applying gets you the job but something about communication and making connections/building relationships gets you where you want to be. This whole energy is giving me hallmark movie vibes for some reason but it’s really nice.

The stress and anxiety you’re currently feeling is understandable and it’s okay to feel that. You may also be dealing with grief/loss. Know that it’s okay to feel these things and allow yourself to feel them. You may he pushing away emotions because you’re afraid to let yourself feel them and it’s doing more harm then good. There’s this feminine energy that may be a spirit guide or passed loved one for some of you that wants you to know you’re doing better than you realize and you’re going to be okay. Just breathe. I heard “it all works itself out with time”

This is another specific message that you should only take if it resonates but some of you may have savings that you may need to dip into a little and you may be worried about it. You don’t have to clear out your savings and it’s important to still be careful with your money but it’s okay if you need to use it for moving expenses or anything expenses you have when you arrive to your new home. This also might just be a heads up from your guides that you will be using some of these savings on unexpected moving expenses/expenses in your new place. Again, only take it if it resonates.

This reading is much longer than I intended and a little all over the place so I’ll leave it here but just know that everything is gonna be alright, Pile One.

Pile 2┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Hello, Pile 2! So this energy is very different from Pile One. I think you all are just starting a new journey in school/career and are very excited but maybe nervous. Your nerves may be more about fitting in/making friends in this new setting. For those of you in college/university or entering college/university, definitely join clubs/groups. Specifically a study group. I think you’ll meet a lot of people and this will not only help with building friendships and meeting new people, but also with your studies/work and staying on track.

Coffee shops or some sort of small diners or something seem significant. Maybe like a Main Street restaurant or something? You could meet people here. Some of you may be coming out of a rough situation or maybe a breakup so this new start is a change to fully embrace and find yourself. Finding strength in alone time and independence while also creating beautiful connections and friendships and nurturing/maintaining those connections. Maybe this pervious situation/relationship was isolating and kept you away from people so this is really your chance to branch out and meet others and focus on yourself. You’ll meet people that encourage you to love yourself and build yourself up and it will be a really nice change of pace.

Some of you may start a new job? Possible a part time job while you’re in school. This may be where this cafe/Main Street restaurant or something comes in. It may be where you end up working. Some of you may have already seen job listings for a job like this but haven’t applied or are thinking about applying and I definitely think you should do it!

There’s just this energy here of a lot of new connections but there’s a specific one that seems very significant. I think you may be meeting your best friend in this next chapter of your life (specifically at this new job if that resonates) this isn’t giving romantic energy but it feels like a platonic soulmate. This is someone that will become like a sibling to you, like your favorite person and your other half. This is a very beautiful connection that you’re about to find, Pile Two 🥹

Overall, this is a very beautiful chapter for you and it’s important that you embrace it fully. The only thing I will say is that you may be very sure about your studies and think you’ll handle them very well (which is a great mindset to have and I want you to hold onto that mindset!) but they may become overwhelming and you could fall behind if you’re not careful. The study group I mentioned earlier will be very important and helpful in staying on top of things. You may push work aside to spend time with friends but just make sure to keep a good and equal balance between work and personal time.

Pile 3┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Now this may not resonate for all of you… but are some of you messing around with your boss 👀 again.. take it if it resonates but there definitely seems to be something with a boss. For some of you, maybe you’re boss is just attracted to you or you’re attracted to your boss, maybe there’s rumors/gossip going around in the workplace about the two of you or something. I think you’ve been offered a promotion or you are about to be offered a promotion but maybe you don’t feel like you’ve earned it because of this situation or maybe others have said you haven’t earned it because of this situation. If this is the case, I wanna tell you know that you 100% deserve anything and everything good and amazing and beautiful coming your way and you better not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Your energy is so powerful and magnetic and it’s clear that you have an incredibly strong work ethic. Maybe you work in a field that’s dominated by the opposite gender or maybe you’re young compared to others in your field? It could also be that you took a different route to getting into your field but there’s something that sets you apart from others you work with. Anyone around you that has something to say or that doubts your excellence and work ethic is simply jealous. Everything you have is yours because your earned it. I wish I could put this energy into words because it’s so incredibly powerful and you deserve to feel every ounce of it. You hold so much more power than you realize or give yourself credit for.

Your energy would be so good to have going into a job interview 😭 you have a very go getter vibe about you but you’re also very blunt and you tell it how it is and some people may not be able to take that (and that’s on them. Don’t ever change) some people may fear you getting this promotion because they know it means they can’t slack off or get away with as much because you’ll be on top of things. I heard “you run a right ship” you’ll make sure things are done correctly and on time and that every member of your team is playing apart in keeping this running properly and smoothly. Higher ups in your company or like CEOs or something may take notice because you keep things running so smoothly and there’s a significant change and improvement within the company.

Whatever this situation is with a boss (again, take it as it applies and only if it resonates) may sort of fall apart after your promotion. I think it could have to do with you doing so much better than them and being favored over them by higher ups in your company/corporation. I think this thing ending would be a good thing cause I don’t like this boss’ energy AT ALL. It just doesn’t match yours like it should and quite honestly, your energy is way too good to be involved in this person’s energy. This person just feels very icky and immature and you deserve much better.

Overall, know that good things come to you because you work for them and you deserve them. You attracted amazing things because you are an amazing person and it’s not your problem if someone else can’t handle that. You are magnetic, powerful, and worthy of every amazing thing coming your way. Don’t doubt yourself and continue to further your career. You have an amazing work ethic and a very strong and powerful voice and those two things will take you so so far in life. If no one else has told you recently, I’m proud of you and you got this.

Lastly, I just wanted to add that those people that have something to say or dislike you rn are going to come around and love you after they get to know you more. It’s going to take time for them to realize that their dislike for you comes from their own insecurities but once they do, they will see you for the beautiful human being that you are. Don’t change anything about yourself, let them realize they’ve been wrong this whole time.

#tarotblr #spirituality #tarot #tarot reading #free tarot readings #love reading #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarot cards #collective reading #career reading #self love reading #personal reading #pick a card #tarot pick a card #tumblr tarot

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henrioo · 11 months

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✦ ── FALLING IN LOVE: SANJI

Sanji x Gn! Reader

Synopsis: Where slowly Sanji realizes that his feelings for you have changed

Warnings: Pure cuteness, nothing really alarming, just a passionate and jealous Sanji

Word Count: 1,4k

Notes: This should have been an ask, but when I finished it I realized it was very different from what I had been asked and decided to do another one. But so you don't miss it, here it is being posted, I hope you like it. Sorry for the English

Notes edit: Pronouns have been updated to neuter thanks to @waitingmydemons , thanks sweetie

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ• ────── ✦ ────── •

It's really not a secret that Sanji is a bit emotional and has a tendency to fall in love with pretty people, so when you introduced yourself as a new crew member with that bright yet nervous smile, no one would really be surprised if he had hearts eyes and a wide mouth.

Of course, initially he wouldn't think he was really in love, after all he doesn't consider himself a one-man man. That's why he tries to act as normal as he can around you, still having the aura of a lover and servant who would do anything for you, but also trying to convey credibility that he wasn't really in love.

Of course, he can't run away from it for long, but everything starts much slower than it seems, see:

First it starts with your kindness, you were more than excited to meet all of the crew and become friends with them, so you would walk up and down asking if you could be of assistance or just spend some time chatting to find out more about the people you now live with.

First Sanji didn't want to ask you for help, he didn't want to burden you with cooking and he also wanted to try to impress you by showing how he can handle the entire kitchen by himself. But you insisted that you could at least be of some use, so he sighed deeply and asked you to cut up some vegetables and occasionally stir certain pots or add ingredients. Nothing that could really be difficult if you were only pretending to want to help.

You might not be the best in socializing, but you were definitely doing your best to make the conversation flow naturally for both of you. So Sanji also made an effort so that you could talk calmly, he would ask a little more about your village and journey, always being careful not to press where he shouldn't, sometimes he would ask about your hobbies and food tastes, nothing really deep but that still counted.

You weren't far behind, you loved to talk and talking to Sanji was so easy! You asked about the restaurant, about Zeff, about his fighting style and his passion for cooking, even if you couldn't have known that there was a much deeper past there, you were pleased with what you discovered the first few times you started talking.

As the weeks passed and you were intimate enough with everyone, Sanji initially thought you'd drift away a bit, focused on doing your own thing and settling in on the ship. But what would be his surprise when you showed up in the kitchen not long after asking if he could stay there and keep you company while you studied some things. He didn't know what that feeling was, but his legs went weak, his heart skipped a beat, his stomach dropped, and heat surged through his body. He smiled and stammered out a statement as he tried to get back in control.

And you came back the next day, and also the next, you walked around the islands together, on the rounds... It was strange, at least for Sanji. He was close to all the members, that's clear, but he didn't feel that close to any of them. Every time you got close to him, his heart fluttered and he started stuttering, not knowing exactly how or what to say. He just needed to talk to you, whatever the subject.

He couldn't be falling in love with you, could he? Of course he thought you were attractive, your hair was magnificent, your eyes were sparkling and your smile was amazing. He also really liked your personality, your love for the crew and their tastes, your focus and determination, how you never give up on what you believed to be right. Of course, he also felt strange next to you, with his legs shaking, his stomach nervous, his hands sweating and the lack of words. But that was all just because you were a new person compared to the others, that would pass with time, wouldn't it?

Definitely not. But he only saw it in the first jealousy crisis he had, you should spend the day on the island together since you wanted to cook something and needed the help of someone experienced in that. But just in the nick of time Usopp needed your help with art supplies and you ended up leaving your object behind, prioritizing helping your friend before that. Of course Sanji didn't mind, it was just one day, you would have many more. So what was the problem?

He didn't know it, but as he walked around town looking for supplies he couldn't stop thinking about you, how much more fun it would be to run around the market stalls listening to your beautiful voice. How you could stop by some cafe and eat together while chatting, even how nice it would be to cook with you afterwards, teaching you what he loved so much. He muttered irritably, taking another cigarette, perhaps the fifth in an hour, as he stopped in a square to collect his thoughts.

That's when he saw you. You weren't together with Usopp, but in front of some stalls, buying jewelry and small weapons, he immediately smiled and thought about approaching. Perhaps now you were free and could spend the rest of the day together, but the events that followed had his stomach twisting as he bit down on the cigarette until he tasted it on his tongue. A man approached you with a huge bouquet of flowers, he appeared to be a civilian and by his clothes perhaps he worked as a florist or gardener. The man smiled and offered you a beautiful bouquet of roses, you smiled with slightly flushed cheeks and accepted, the man would not miss the chance to pass his hand to your shoulder as he approached.

Sanji expected to see discomfort on your face, maybe despair, anything he could use as an excuse to go over there and kick that man until his face was unrecognizable. But you didn't. Instead you looked like you were having fun, laughing and getting red in the cheeks at everything the other said, Sanji felt his stomach sinking and hurting, what was that? He grabbed his bags and walked back to the ship, not in the mood for shopping anymore that day.

Robin was in the kitchen as she had stayed to watch the ship, she greeted him quickly without taking her eyes off the book she was reading. He responded with as much cheer as he had, none, and then proceeded to unpack everything for storage, although he really hadn't bought much for being back early. He could feel Robin's gaze on her back, perhaps it was obvious how awkward he was, but the man didn't wish to trouble the beautiful lady with feelings he didn't even understand.

"How was your day on the island with (y/n)?" She asked quietly, but Sanji felt his entire body shiver and go rigid.

"Ahn… They couldn’t go, busy with Usopp I guess" he tried to dodge the subject and replied in the most ordinary tone, although there was a tremor in his voice.

"Oh, I see" he thanked her for the next few minutes of silence, maybe she would just forget about it and he could pretend that nothing happened "is that why you are so upset?" He nearly dropped the plate he was washing.

"I'm not upset" he said that to who? For Robin? For himself? Who was he trying to fool?

"Hm…" she hummed "Whatever you say" a good quality of the woman is that she wouldn't insist on these matters, she knew when to withdraw if necessary "But you can talk to me if you want" Sanji smiled appreciatively for having such a generous friend.

"I just…" he shouldn't have said it, he didn't even know what he was feeling! "I… I saw them with someone else besides Usopp… They looked happy" he mumbled not really knowing what the problem was, what exactly was he angry about?

"Oh… I see" he could hear the woman's smile.

"Understood what?" He asked, nervous and curious.

"Hm? Didn't you notice, cook-san?" She had a lively, light tone.

"No?" he asked, confused.

"You are jealous." She finished and it didn't take long to get up, ready to leave. Sanji is immobilized, completely paralyzed and not knowing what to say, let alone what to do. Robin must have noticed his face in shock and laughed at the door, then spoke calmly "Don't worry, it's normal to be jealous when we're in love…"

Then she left, leaving the man alone, and for the first time since you joined the crew, Sanji realized something: he was in love with you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ• ────── ✦ ────── •

Notes: Well that was it! It was the first thing I wrote after my short break so I don't know if it was really good, but I liked it even though it was short. The next stories will be the ask

Also I'm planning to start a series of imagines so that's why orders are closed, hope you understand!

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x you #onepiece #anime imagines #one piece imagine #imagines #anime and manga #sanji x y/n #sanji imagine #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji #sanjionepiece #kuroashi no sanji #sanji x you

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random-introverted-blog · 6 months

Text

Come Home To Me [Ascended!Astarion x F!Reader]

The 10MB limit will be the death of me

Intended Audience: Mature [May ratings never stop you]

Who be smoochin?: Astarion x F!Reader

The Bit: You leave Astarion, save the day and go back to your hometown to live happily ever after with your family. Good thing he's not your crazy jealous ex. Otherwise who knows what he'd do when he found you? Happily minding your own business? oh, perish the thought, darling. Oh, and some time later you accidentally die without permission. He is not a happy camper about any of this. He may or may not raze your town and kill your family in the process...

Warnings/Advisories: It's Ascended!Astarion, guys. Come on. Still need me to explain? Fine. *Unfurls the world's longest scroll* Expect yandere elements, forced vampirism [yes...], intentional manipulation to cause Stockholm Syndrome. Emotional abuse by proxy, possessive behavior *pauses to shimmy more of the scroll into view* "you have a sister and she kinda a thirsty ho but we don't judge you go queen". And violence. Of the graphic variety. "I would have given you a dog, but he'd have probably killed the dog". Everything is (literally) on fire. And death. Lots of it. ANGST. Bad ending? Depends on what you consider bad. If you like obsessive yandere vampire boys then it's probably a good ending for you.

Words, all the words (count) : 4,001 baebeee

And away, we... GO

ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

The last thing you said to him about it was in reply to his hurtful comments.

"Well, that's fine with me. My home isn't with you, anyway."

It had been some time since you defeated the Absolute and your quiet little hamlet had remained such since your triumphant return. Hardly a thing had changed, not the Wilks farmstead, not the general store, not even that old and tipping wooden signpost. Few of your companions knew of the place you called home. He had never asked; you had never told, and it seems it was a blessing you hadn't. The last thing you wanted was for him to stroll into town and go out of his way to remind you how happy he was without you.

Which definitely seemed like a thing he would do.

As if he didn't have better things to do.

Thankfully, it sounds like he has. Such an opportunity to take Baldur's Gate by the throat was one only a fool would pass up. And Astarion Ancunín was certainly no fool. In no time, he had charmed and maneuvered himself to the top of the food-chain. By means of persuasion, intimidation... and a tactic of his you're intimately familiar with.

Seduction.

Oh, the rumors of who he has or hasn't slept with. Was it necessary to get where he was now? No. It was a display of power now. Dominance. He could have anything and anyone he wanted, anyone he deemed worth his whim, and there wasn't a damn thing anyone could do to stop it. And clearly, he didn't want you.

It stung a little. You had genuinely fallen in love with the man he used to be. But that was the keyword, wasn't it? He used to be. The man he had become now was a stranger. The warmth that once resided in his eyes had been replaced by a chilling, calculating gaze. Gods, why didn't he just listen to you? He didn't need the ritual. He was already more than enough...

With a shake of your head, you stepped out the front door of your small, two floor cottage and made the brief journey to your parents' house. A smile curled your lips when you saw your older sister waiting for you outside "Y/N, you're late!" She scolds with a laugh, throwing her arms around you.

A roll of your eyes and you returned her hug. "An adventurer is never late. They arrive always when they intend to."

"Sounds like a fancy way of admitting you're always late to me." Your brother remarks gruffly. Your mother not far behind. "You sure your time as a big hero didn't go to your head?" He adds with a raise of his eyebrow.

You move away from your sister and embrace your mother first, then your brother. "I kind of had other things in my head then, brother dearest," you remind them with a small laugh.

Your mother lightly smacked your brother's large arm and narrowed her eyes. "Don't drive her away with that attitude of yours, unless you want her to return to adventuring!" She scolds with a playful glint in her gaze.

A sigh escaped your lips. It had been five long years since you've taken up your old gear and hit the road. Part of you missed it. But you'd never admit that to her. She was just so glad to have you home, you couldn't bear to take that from her. Not after your father had passed while you were out saving the world.

"Come now, my starlings, I've got your sister's favorite on the stove for lunch," she cooed and herded the three of you inside. And like every time you come over, you spend your time regaling them of your journey and heroics. Of your friends' camaraderie around the campfire. From Wyll's many dances with Karlach, Shadowhearts' best snarky comebacks, Gale's incredible displays of powerful magic and Lae'zel's discipline, her culture and brutal efficiency.

And every time, you noticed the look your brother would give. Initially, you thought it was protectiveness. No matter how much you tried to downplay it, your family was acutely aware of the gravity of your situation back then. Perhaps your brother was merely thinking how many times they came so close to losing you, without them realizing it.

Maybe it was partly true, but it certainly was not the only reason. "Sister, I'm sorry but I must ask..." He began, gently clearing his throat as he leaned back in his chair, across the table from you. "I was in the Gate not too long ago and heard... things. That you never seem to mention yourself..."

Despite your efforts to wrack your brain, you come up blank and draw your brows together. You cast a glance at your sister beside you and your mother, beside your brother. They don't seem as confused as you... "Lord Ancunín, was he not a companion of yours? They say he is also a Hero of Baldur's Gate."

"Yes." You answer sharply, also leaning back in your chair. "And you heard he and I were involved, I take it? That's what this is about?" You were getting defensive. You knew it, but you couldn't stop it. Even now, the damned elf was a sore spot for you.

The man your brother was, he never backed down or cowed away from anything, hardly ever you and only consistently your mother. He dipped his chin and held your glare. "Did he hurt you?" He asked, his words blunt but his tone low.

You chuckle dryly, and your gaze immediately flicks towards the door. "What does it matter? It was five years ago. Astarion and I were in love, yes, love. And then he took a path I couldn't follow in good conscience. So we did what we had to, then went our separate ways."

He paused, considering your response. Your sister was practically biting her nails in an effort to silence all the questions she had for you about your evidently dramatic love life. Your mother gave you the worst look of them all.

Pity.

"If it is as you say, little sister. Then I can only commend you for remembering your worth. From what I gather, he is not a man worthy of your attention," he says with a stiff nod.

A weak smile tugs at the corner of your lips. "He was. Once..."

"So what was he like? Was he as charming and beautiful as they say he is in person?" Your sister gushes as soon as she deems there's an opening in the conversation.

You hold up a hand to stop your brother and mother from scolding her. Somehow she's older than you, if only by two years. "Yes, and yes. Even after we broke up, I found him painfully gorgeous. His voice was like velvet, he was smart and witty and knew just what to say..." now that the cat was out of the bag, so to speak, you decided to indulge your sister's silly fascination about your ex. If just for today.

Afterward, the three of you, as always, did the remaining housework for your mother. A gesture of gratitude for everything she had done for you all as children, and still into adulthood. Life without your father had noticeably taken its toll, hence why your siblings had moved back home. None of them had outside obligations, and you were still trying to settle down from your adventuring days and really needed the quiet.

On your way out the door, intent on your cottage for the evening, your mother touched your arm. "Before I forget, starling!" she says, reaching for the small table next to the door, "this came here, addressed to you."

She extends her hand, offering you a letter adorned with a peculiar and ornate wax seal. You turn it over once or twice in your hand before smiling and thanking her. Odd. The only ones who wrote to you were Shadowheart and Gale and not only did they know to send your letters to your home, but they didn't use wax seals either. Not even Gale.

No one else knew where your hometown was. Even fewer that you returned here after your party disbanded. So who else could have sent it? That is clearly your name above the seal. It was not a mistake on the courier's part. But then, that was the only way this made much sense. Who could have found, cared enough to write and send a letter to you after all this time? To the wrong house, to boot?

It was a persistent question that nagged at you, making the walk home feel longer than usual. Paying only mild attention to the eerie stillness in the cool night air.

You set it down on your kitchen table to turn on the lanterns around your cottage, illuminating the room with a soft, golden glow before you decide to open it at last. The letter revealed its contents - or lack thereof, as you unfolded it and saw only two lines in the center of the parchment.

Playtime is over, pet.

It's time for you to come home.

For a moment, and only a moment, your brows draw together. And when it clicks in your mind, you toss the letter on the table as if it's poisoned, or worse, Him and you paced restlessly in front of your table. Fixated on the parchment, as if it might attack you when you least expect it. What could he possibly want now? Half a decade later, you've moved on. Hadn't he? How many others had he taken to his bed since you went your separate ways? Couldn't he have busied himself with them instead? Out of all those partners, a plethora of variety, you were sure, not a one of them had held his attention for at least a decade? And why, by all the gods above and below, did he send it to your mother's house? Such a careless mistake was unlike him. If he had gone through all this effort to find you, surely he had to at least know where you actually lived in town.

Your heart sunk as the thought crossed your mind.

It wasn't a mistake. He doesn't just know where you live...

A scream rang out, snapping your eyes to the door. More shrieks followed, and you darted to the window. Faces ran frantically down and up the road, smoke billowed into night sky, dusted with stars, from closer to the village center. You clenched your teeth, giving yourself a moment to seethe with anger before rushing upstairs to the chest at the foot of your bed. Did you have time to equip your armor? Most likely, not. Best to take your weapons. The sooner you're outside, the better.

Prepared as you were ever going to be, you dashed down the stairs and shouldered your front door open. The raiders were already in front of your house. You recognized the hauntingly pale, lifeless face of Gregory, the barman, in the claws of a half elf. His sharp red eyes weredistant as he gorges on his meal, mouth latched tight to Gregory's neck.

"Another!" cheered a nasally voice behind you. Two spawn leaped down from the thatch roof of your home. Quickly closing in. The human woman continued, "Ohh, I can taste this one already! How delicious! Perhaps I should save some for Master—"

"Don't be foolish!" hissed the half elf, tossing the drained body aside. "Master said our reward was a feast, and I intend to feast!" He lunged, fangs glistening with fresh blood in the dim light. Experience traveling with at least one vampire had prepared you for the tactic, and you stepped out of the way with ease.

It was the halfling that seemed the only one not mad with bloodlust. "B-but Master said... there was one we couldn't..." she stammered, eyeing you almost with recognition.

But the other two ignored her and threw themselves at you again.

Despite the boredom that consumed your life over the past few years, you were unwavering in your commitment to staying in shape and proficient in combat. You sparred regularly with the local guards, who were more than happy to help. They learned a few things in turn, after all, from the Hero of Baldur's Gate. So staying almost two steps ahead of these stumbling corpses was a breeze, almost comically easy for you.

Until your eyes caught sight of a burning home, the heat of the flames could be felt from where you stand. Your mother's burning home... As everything else melted away, a numbness washed over your limbs and your heart settled into stillness. Just as you were about to cry out, a blade mercilessly penetrated your back, twisting with a force that seemed intent on separating your torso from your hip. The taste of blood coated your tongue, while an indescribable agony consumed your every nerve. Fangs as sharp as razors mercilessly sunk into your neck, accompanied by the loud, insatiable slurping sounds that invaded your ears.

Except for one last sound before your world began to fade. "No! You worthless wastes of flesh, what are you doing!?" roared from somewhere distant, rapidly getting closer.

The grip on your body relented, and you crumpled to the ground. Above you, a familiar, curly white-haired, fangs and all ascendant vampire lord. His face was almost feral. Hoisting the human by the throat with one hand, her feet kicking in the air. "I gave you an entire village of fools to feed on, a vivid description of the one woman who was off-fucking-limits...!"

A serene anger washed over his face, causing a shiver to run down your spine, as he sealed his lips and glared at her with an icy stare. "You will wait, on your knees, until I am ready to thoroughly enjoy goring your body with my bare hands."

Her voice strained, she barely managed to gasp out "Master...!" before he mercilessly flung her aside, treating her with the indifference one would show to a discarded toy. The moment her body hit the ground, it rigidly rolled and moved until it settled on its knees in place. Silent sobs wracked her body, and tears streamed down her face, leaving her cheeks damp.

In an instant, his eyes landed on your unfocused one, coughing blood. You knew you were dying. But it wasn't as sad, or even as painful as you expected. "You spiteful son of a bitch..." you hissed, spitting blood from your mouth. He opened his to reply, but you wouldn't let him. You were going to enjoy this... You panted, wheezing the last of your energy into your last twist into his heart. "I damn you, Astarion... I damn you to the Hells. I damn you to misery..." Quoting the man that you knew haunted him still.

You take the clenching of his jaw and his balled fists to your grave with delight as your eyes fall closed, and you breathe your last.

You finally find peace, a gentle presence that settles within your soul. It was a peace so pure, so profound, that it felt almost otherworldly. There was a weightlessness in the air, as if burdens had been lifted and freedom embraced. Your eyes are drawn to the path ahead, its surface adorned with pristine, pearly white stones. Your brother stood at the end, ready to greet you. There stood your father and mother, beckoning you with open arms. And your heart swells with an untameable warmth as you start down toward them.

A cold, deathly grip catches the back of your neck, sending a sudden jolt of fear through your body. Pain squeezed you with an intensity you had never felt before. Your mouth opens, but not even a whimper escapes you as you're forcefully dragged back, kicking and flailing.

With a heavy gasp, your heart pounds in your chest as you lurch forward. Or at least you start before cold, familiar hands grab hold of you, pulling you into his arms. "Now, now, darling, just relax..." Astarion sighs in your ear, his voice thick with... relief?

You died... you were free of this... of him. "I was... going home..." you whimper, unable to fully choke back the sob, not even sure how he managed to forcefully bring you back.

"You are already home, pet."

In your frantic attempt to escape, you notice that the sights, sounds, and smells are completely different - you're no longer in your village, but a large, opulent bedchamber. Lavish furniture and ornaments of gold, silver, so many you quickly lose count. The gentle, rhythmic ticking of a grandfather clock provided a comforting background noise. A luxorious silk gown, likely worth a kings ransom, has replaced your weathered tunic and trousers you knew you were wearing before. The softest linens you've ever felt in your life gently caress your bare legs.

His hand petting your head snaps you back from your observations. "Why the face?" Astarion murmurs, "did you truly think death would keep you from me? Little love, I can take anything I want. Even from the jaws of death itself." He briefly looks away as he giggles that short, airy sound that used to melt your heart. "Or did you think your heroic brother would, what, break my nail before I ripped out his throat?"

It's enough you try to wrench yourself from his arms again, stopping short of beating your fists against his stupid, fancy white and blue doublet. "You spiteful bastard..." you repeat from your memory as he keeps you held against him with little effort. "I was there with them, my family—"

"Hush, darling, you're not being reasonable," Astarion mutters, his fingers on your back drawing shapes and patterns that you reluctantly admit still soothed you. "I let them have you long enough. I let you play house in that backwater, and now it is time for you to take your place at my side. You were fated to be mine, and mine, you will always be." He explained, as if he was making perfect sense and stating the obvious.

You scoffed, trying again to leverage your hands on the bed, or his lap to put any amount of distance between you and him. "So dying and forcing me back, all reasonable?"

The look in his eyes turned sharp, reminiscent of the way he eyed that spawn. "Well, if you had been where you belonged, none of that would have happened, would it?" He chastised, lulling his head to one side. "I've already cast the insignificant wretch into the kennels. You are welcome to watch her suffer. Perhaps I'll grant her a blessing and allow her to kiss your feet before I peel her lips off her face... Or maybe after..." Astarion trailed off thoughtfully, his eyes up and away a moment as he considered the grotesque torture, as if casually deciding what flavor tea he'll have in the morning. "How comfortable are you with blood between your toes, my dear?"

You were experiencing such emotional turbulence that you momentarily wondered if any of this was actually happening. If he was aware, he paid no mind to it, as another wild thought captivated his mind. "And why did you not tell me you had such a deliciously submissive sister? Honestly, my love, if she can watch me kill your brother, drain your mother and still stare so eagerly at me, why can't you?"

Your heart froze, and you swallowed hard. Unwanted images of what he could have, and probably had done to your family flashed through your mind. As you stilled in his arms, he moved a hand into the air and snapped his fingers. And like a well-trained puppy, in she waltzed, wearing a black simple dress. Expressionless and silent as she stood before you. Watching you with scarlet eyes. "You know I'd never hurt you, of course. But perhaps your sweet sister can model the obedience I expect from you..."

Infinite threats, insults and visions of violence cross your mind, and like he can read them, Astarion gives you a stern, scolding look. From the corner of your eye, you catch a tear rolling down her cheek and it takes everything from you to not jump to embrace her.

Not that Astarion would let you out of his arms to do so. Fear spreads through your body, numbing your limbs and clouding your thoughts. For every outburst, act of defiance, misbehavior, denial of compliance, Astarion will ensure your sister suffers in your place...

"There you are, my treasure..." He cooes, catching a loose lock of your hair and twirling it in his fingers, pleased with whatever he sees in your eyes, "learning already... you're going to be so wonderfully obedient for me, aren't you?"

You turn your head away, down at the bed, never feeling so... small in your life. He grabs your face, fingers pressing into your cheeks as he forces your attention back to him, denying your escape. "Aren't you?" He repeats, voice firm, commanding.

Without thinking, you scowl at Astarion, noticing the frosty disappointment in his eyes. He lets out an impatient sigh, as if handling a temperamental child, and then glances behind him. "On your knees, darling, it seems your little sister needs your example already..."

She stiffly collapses to the ground like an anchor to the seafloor and Astarion groans, as if he expected a more graceful motion from her. He starts to rise from the bed and a whimper from your sister has you catching his sleeve. "I'll do it." You force out, inwardly cringing at the implication.

But that's not enough for him. "You will do what, pet?" He says lowly, lazily turning to you.

"Behave..." The word hung in the air, its bitter taste lingering on your tongue, surpassing any foulness you had ever known. Again, you try to look anywhere else, any semblance of escape you can find from this, from him.

Astarion continues to press, his fingers brushing against your cheek, coaxing you to face him, locking eyes. There was a glimmer of anticipation in his eyes, like a flickering flame. "And...?"

"And... I'll be obedient..." Your chest tightens, your lip quivering and Astarion's face lights up with a tender smile.

He resumes his position on the bed in front of you. "Oh, my love, I know you will." Astarion smirks, his arm curling around you, pulling you back into him, his lips feathering yours, teasing before connecting them in a sweet... loving kiss. Just as you remember it, his lips are like a delicate caress, and you know better now than to pull away.

Your lips sync with his in a hypnotic rhythm, and his distinct taste lingers on your tongue - a blend of red wine with a faint metallic undertone. The scent of him surrounds you, a unique blend of rosemary, bergamot, and brandy, unmistakably his. His fangs only barely graze your bottom lip as he guides you down onto your back, maneuvering himself on top of you, "because I'll have eternity to teach you..." Astarion whispers against your mouth like a promise, and you can feel him smile at his own words.

Astarion's lips travel from the corner of your mouth, they leave a trail of soft kisses along your cheek, descending to the spot beneath your ear, until they eventually reach the pulsating artery, echoing the frantic pace of your heart. One last time... "My beloved consort..." He whispers, pressing a tender kiss to your skin, teasing his fangs against your neck, as if trying to be gentle in his own way. "Welcome home..." He purrs.

Then at last, he sinks his fangs deep. Drinking slow, steady gulps. One hand taking yours, interlocking his fingers with it, the other soothingly petting your hair. And at last, as your vision blurs and darkens, your body shivering under his, you start to believe it...

Maybe he does want you after all...

Maybe he's been your home all along...

ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

A/N: Honestly, I could probably write this one forever, it was so much fun. The perfectionist in me already spent more time than I should've on this. Two days of neglecting my main fic on ao3? Ugh, take me to the gallows. Apologies to my partner, friends, coworkers, family, dogs... I have a sacred duty to update that sucker at least every other week.

Also, I apologize for the quality of the gif. I make a lot of my own gifs and screenshots for these and tumblr's 10mb limit is going to throttle my sanity until it dies twice over.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate #bg3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #yandere male #tw yandere #baldurs gate #ascended astarion #yandere that kills your whole family because you love them more than him uh oh

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nayatarot777 · 1 year

Text

what you need to know right now ~ messages from your guides

if you’d like a personal reading, then see info here

subscribe to the patreon if you’re interested in daily messages from spirit, weekly pac readings for “the week ahead”, exclusive extended readings to the tumblr PACs, exclusive pac readings - such as 18+ and love pac readings - new moon + full moon readings, plus more. i’m on there everyday, just doing my thing 😂

• pile one •

cards: king of cups, knight of wands, judgement

you’re currently completing the current phase of your spiritual awakening. you’re now stepping into new and heightened awareness with a renewed mind and maybe even a whole new identity. you could be trying to chase after more consciousness and more knowledge to have more awareness about yourself and your reality, but you don’t seem to be realising that you’ve already reached the level of awareness that you set the intentions of having in the past. you could be impulsively seeking answers to things, but the answers lie within how you feel. because your feelings are connected to your intuition. the answers that you’re looking for cannot be found externally at this point. you can’t learn the answers from someone else, or from any body of work or text. you can only give yourself the answer, meaning that being lead by how you feel is what’s needed to finalise this particular spiritual awakening that you’re almost done with, but you could feel disconnected from your intuition or your feelings. that’s the last challenge that you have to focus on: listening to how you feel emotionally and within your body - especially when you think about certain people or remember particular things. you could have a tendency to ignore your feelings or gaslight yourself out of feeling the way that you do. but that’s where you’re going to get your guidance from. you’ve endured a rebirth which definitely wasn’t easy, but i feel like you’re really ascending into your true self. you’ve done a lot of shadow work, and invested a lot of energy into overcoming your own battles which is why your perspective of life is going to shift drastically. meaning that your reality is greatly shifting too. and this will create a state of internal peace and relaxation. but, again, only after you practice feeling. you can’t feel peace if you can’t feel anything to begin with. if you’re emotionally numb, confused, or overwhelmed. you feel how you feel. period. you don’t need anybody’s permission to feel how you feel. if your feelings don’t make sense to others then whatever. you know why you feel the way that you do. you’ve come a very long way in your personal development. you’ve done an extremely good job - keep going! 👏🏾👏🏾

extra message: the universe has heard your call. any behaviours and actions that you may judge yourself for needs to be accepted. not excused, but understood. give yourself more compassion than you are currently. the universe is trying to show you unconditional love but that can only happen when you’re able to feel that and give that towards yourself. that’s when you’ll be able to accept everything that the universe wants to bring to you.

• pile two •

cards: 9 of wands, the fool, queen of cups

you’ve either begun - or are about to begin - a new journey of healing. accepting that you need to heal from some things and stepping out of your emotional comfort zone. you may have a lot of boundaries up around you. and that’s a way to protect your emotions - but it’s keeping you stagnant because the way in which you’re putting boundaries up is a way that you’ve outgrown. i’m seeing that a lot of you have escaped from someone who was a threat to you. someone extremely dark and full of anger - or maybe even rage. for others of you, this could be about you running away from your own shadow. but i’m seeing that you’re reaching the point where you feel like you can’t stay stuck in the same place any longer, and so you need to just take a leap of faith when it comes to acknowledging, feeling, and accepting your shadow. for those of you who haven’t yet managed to get away from whoever this dark ass person is in your life, a new beginning is definitely coming. i heard “a new escape” whatever that means for you. there’s also something about rejecting intuitive messages that you’re receiving about someone who’s being extremely shady around you. spirit’s telling you to stop doubting yourself. just trust yourself for once and protect your energy. don’t let anyone or anything sway you away from what you know intuitively. you’re extremely spiritually protected and it’s okay to focus on feeling again. feeling calm, feeling your raw emotions, and accepting the way that you feel without emotional suppression. maybe someone in your life has taught you that your emotions are a burden. but you’re shedding this conditioning from yourself. i’m proud of you, pile two. celebrate yourself and your achievement 👏🏾🥳

• pile three •

cards: the hierophant, the world, judgement

whatever this message is about, it’s a big deal. all 3 of your cards are major arcana. a very big deal.

you’re realising something about your perspective on the world. something about traditional values, or societal norms - maybe related to work and abundance in particular. i’m hearing that your perception of abundance is shifting from physical abundance to energetic abundance. you’re realising that you’re someone who is already rich and wealthy in multiple ways. spiritually. i’m hearing that you’re gonna feel like you’ve “beaten the matrix” when you fully come to this realisation 😂. the realisation that physical abundance reflects the abundance that you have and that you acknowledge energetically. you’re also realising that you’re being given some type of responsibility related to your purpose here in the world. a lot of you could be coming to realise what you feel like your actual purpose is, due to something that makes you feel so fulfilled. and as you follow this purpose, you’re going to realise how finding abundance and value in the work that you do in this world is leading to the world being given to you. this could actually lead you to breaking out of a creative block. you’re entering such a creative period in your life where you co-create with spirit. you’re reaching the answers to questions that you’ve had for a long time - what am i supposed to do? what am i doing here? what is my purpose here? i’m so happy for you, pile 3!!! i’m hearing happy squealing from your guides 😭 they’re celebrating. it’s so cute ☺️

#pick a card #psychic readings #pick a photo #pac #tarot reading #tarot #pick a picture #pac reading #naya tarot collective

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rainba · 21 days

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Ok hear me out…

Luka and kairos with INSANE baby fever B)

Luka and Kairos both definitely experience baby fever, to some degree… It hits Luka harder than Kairos, but I like to think that Kairos’ side of things is much funnier.

I… Thiiiink I answered this ask right? ｡ﾟ(｡ﾉωヽ｡)ﾟ｡I hope I did!

This ended up being a lot fluffier than I thought it would be...

(Darling’s gender isn’t mentioned! Only mentions whether or not they can bear children. (つω`｡)

Kairos knows that he’s broke and definitely can’t afford to raise a kid– not yet, anyway! But once he continues building up his portfolio and raises his prices, he will eventually make a decent wage!

If darling is capable of having children, Kairos’ mind would basically become mushy as he imagines your all’s children together. Like… Whose eye color would they inherit? Would they be a boy or a girl? Ooh, would they take after him and also be an artist–!? There are so many possibilities to consider!

Kairos would absent-mindedly start drawing out what your all’s future children might look like. ^^;;;;

But also, most importantly: what would you all name your children?

Kairos would definitely come up with the edgiest, kind of corniest names ever. They sound more like OC names than anything, names like, “Twilight!” Or “Lucifer!” So, unless you also want to name your kids that, you’ll have to tell him that you don’t really like those. ^^;;;;;

If you’re a darling that can’t have kids, then Kairos would also be happy to adopt!! When he has baby fever, he’d get all excited about the idea of going out and going through the process of adoption with you. It’d be a long journey, but a journey he’s willing to take if it’s with you!

The most kids he would want/be able to handle is two, but he’ll ultimately let you decide how many kids you'll both have. (o^ ^o) Kairos would feel so nervous taking in someone of any age, but he’d still try his best!!

He’d absolutely be the pushover dad who just does whatever his partner wants him to.

｡ﾟ(｡ﾉωヽ｡)ﾟ｡

As for Luka, the insane baby fever really does hit him hard sometimes. Like– throughout his entire life, the idea of being a father has sounded nice to him. And the idea of raising a child with you makes his heart and mind feel all fuzzy.

As shown in a few posts of him before… He mostly gets that baby fever when he’s in heat. ^^;;;;;; The thought of having a family with you just sends him over the edge, and all he can think about is fucking you until his dream becomes a reality.

Honestly, I think that Luka would be a decent father. Overprotective? Absolutely. Overbearing? Sometimes, for sure. Cruel and abusive? Not a chance in hell. (ﾉ_ヽ)

If darling can get pregnant, and they do end up pregnant, there would be a few nights where Luka is unable to sleep at night, tossing and turning in bed as he constantly glances over at you. You’re lying there so peacefully, carrying his child… He’d lovingly place his soft ears against your stomach while caressing you gently. He can’t help but feel that he’s incredibly lucky to have you– the love of his life– his obsession- his everything. The first and only person to ever make him feel alive. ⸜( *ˊᵕˋ* )⸝ The two of you are truly bound together, forever. ღ

Luka would honestly end up falling asleep with his head on (or beside) your stomach, all curled up with his pink tail wrapped around you. (o´∀`o)

He knows that he can be, um… An asshole, to say the least. And that he’s not very good at understanding complex emotions. But when you have his child, he’ll do everything in his power to get better at being empathetic and patient, for the sake of you and your all's family. (｡╯︵╰｡)

(Luka wouldn't stop his games with you entirely, though. It's always gonna be in his nature to tease and mess with you (´-ω-`). )

When it comes to adoption, Luka would have absolutely no problems with adopting multiple kids. For him, his ideal family size is four children!! He would definitely be able to provide for all of them– although, he might end up stuck at work doing overtime more frequently. But doing more work doesn’t matter to him, so long as everyone is happy. (=`ω´=)

Also, side note, Luka would definitely want you to be a stay-at-home, full-time parent. ^^;;;;;; It’s a small fantasy of his to always come home from work and see you all happy and cozy, smiling warmly as you welcome him back. Maybe you’ll have a meal prepared for him, the house will be all tidied up and your all’s kids will be excited that he’s home from work.~

The holidays, the vacations, the good and bad days… (っ˘ω˘ς ) Luka would like to live that kind of life with you, one day, if you let him.

#ask #kairos posting #luka posting #the idea of kairos being a dad is so funny to me #also i used to never be that interested in fluff #but i think i get it now #( ´ ▿ ` )

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yandere-writer-momo · 10 months

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Being Jack then childhood friend now wife and supporting him through his journey and dose her best to help

Even traveling to Japan as she did told him she have one living grandparent who she still in contact, and imagine thinking Kaoru sees Jack wife who she is genuine kind and not leaving her husband for anyone

Google translate is our enemy but I think I picked up what you were putting down.

I also love how we all believe Kaoru is the definition of “Mister Steal Your Girl.” He’d be so smitten with a partner who is so loyal, he’d be pulling out the stops. Kaoru hates being rejected too

This is more of a take on angst because I think Canon Jack would be a horrible (neglectful) partner

Baki Short Stories: Wake Up

Jack Hanma x fem reader x Hanayama Kaoru

…………………………………………………

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not interested for you to understand?” A young woman crosses her arms over her chest as she glared at Kaoru. The yakuza boss would not leave her alone no matter how many times she rejected him. “I’m married.”

Kaoru simply grunted and pushed the bouquet of roses towards her again in an attempt for her to accept them. Kaoru didn’t understand what she saw in Jack.

Jack was more of an unrefined animal rather than a man. He was primal and unhinged. Jack was terrifying and he seemed like a loose canon. What on earth did a dime like you see in a creature like that?

Kaoru truly believed with all his heart that he was the proper choice. He was rich and he was refined. He could give you a life of pleasure and luxury… maybe just as dangerous but he was sure he could keep you safe. Safer than Jack ever could. What did Jack have to offer you that made you cling so faithfully to his side?

(Your name) could almost read Kaoru’s thoughts just from the emotions he held in his dark eyes. There was a storm brewing under them. This oaf has probably never been rejected before so he saw her as a challenge rather than anything romantically. Which is why she adored Jack. Jack was honest with his intentions.

She knew she was second to Jack’s goal in defeating his father but she was okay with it. Jack and her had a close bond and a lot of trust. She also acknowledged that Jack would always be too busy to cheat on her since he hardly made time for her as well. And she was okay with it. She was pretty low maintenance anyways.

“Please leave.” She then shut the door on Kaoru’s face before he could speak. A sigh slipping from her lips as she ran a hand through her hair. How troublesome.

She pranced over to the couch and sat down to turn on the tv. She drowned out Kaoru’s incessant knocking. Hopefully he’d give up soon.

A part of her was flattered by his attention since she didn’t get much in her relationship but she was fine with the way things were. (Your name) had fully convinced herself that she didn’t need to constantly be doted on. She was fine with being alone for long periods of time so long as Jack came back to her.

Sure she never received flowers or was complimented on her appearance but it was okay. (Your name) was happily married to Jack and he was a man of few words. She was fine just being his companion. She didn’t need to be taken on dates or to be wined and dined. (Your name) was low maintenance. She wasn’t a hindrance to Jack and his goals.

(Your name) would follow Jack to the ends of the earth so long as she was the only one he’d hold at night. The only one he trusted.

Once Kaoru had finally left, she turned off the tv with a frown. Was it okay that Jack didn’t pay much attention to her? Was that really a relationship?

(Your name) smiled sadly as she glanced at the wedding pictures that lined the tv stand. Jack wasn’t even smiling in those pictures…

She shook her head. She couldn’t let Kaoru’s doting get to her head. She was a married woman now, it’s not like she could run away whenever she wanted. (Your name) swore to love Jack through sickness and health and she would.

Even if she was simply an afterthought to him, she wouldn’t give up on him.

(Your name) hasn’t even told Jack about this whole situation that’s been going on for the last few months. She knew Jack couldn’t be bothered with it. It’s not like he’d care.

Jack has always been the only person in her life so she felt an obligation to him. Even if…

(Your name) froze when she felt a dampness on her cheeks. Her fingers tentatively touching the salty streams in shock. When’s the last time she cried?

Perhaps she’s been so numb to her neglect that she finally was breaking down? The realization was setting in and a feeling of hopelessness consumed her.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. She was fine. She was okay. (Your name) did this to herself. She was a big girl and she could live with the consequences of her actions.

(Your name) quickly recollected herself and stood up from the couch to head to bed. Perhaps some sleep would make her feel better?

She settled herself into the plush sheets with a dreamy sigh. If she pretended long enough, maybe, just maybe she could imagine the warmth she felt was from the one her heart craved so dearly. That it was Jack laying beside her with his arms wrapped around her waist instead of a heated blanket. That Jack was whispering compliments in her ears after buying her a bouquet of roses.

Who was she kidding? She was totally and utterly alone.

And she was finally waking up from her dream…

#baki the grappler #baki hanma #baki son of ogre #baki x reader #baki the grappler x reader #yandere baki #yandere #yandere imagine #yandere fic #female reader #jack hanma #baki headcanons #baki dou #grappler baki #baki #baki kaoru hanayama #kaoru hanayama #yandere x reader #hanayama kaoru

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ghostandsoap · 1 year

Text

The Risk of Love

John Price x Fem! Reader

Tags: Mentions of death. Sacrifice. Angst.

A/N: Just a simple fic. Kind of trash.

Word Count: 2.4k

“I couldn’t live with myself if something had happened to you on my account.”

Price was pissed.

Never in his life had the good captain ever flipped his lid quite like this. It was the kind of anger that no one dared to try and get in the way of. His blood was boiling hot, and the pressure of it felt like it was increasing with every inhale he took. He was scary when he was angry, and it didn’t feel good to be on the receiving end of it.

Even in hindsight, you wouldn’t change a single thing that you did that day.

To avoid sugar coating it, you had saved John Price from dying. Price was mere moments from meeting his demise when you swooped in at the last minute to snatch him from the grasp of death.

It had been a scene of chaos. Enemies were dropping like flies and the sound of gunfire was so loud that it was hard to hear anything at all. Eventually, there was a clearing and a window of opportunity to escape and complete the mission.

Price failed to get away with the rest of the team when it was time to run. At the brink of escape, you realized that your captain was left behind – now a sitting duck in the midst and swarm of enemy fire.

It was a no-brainer. There was no hesitation or time spent weighing your options. You did what any loyal soldier would do.

You went back for him.

In all honesty, you weren’t so sure that it wasn’t more out of an act of love than it was an act of loyalty. There was no question as to how you felt about him. Avoiding going back for him wasn’t a choice.

You weren’t leaving your captain to die.

It wasn’t a graceful rescue, you would admit. It was pretty much a mixed scramble of shooting blindly at anything that moved and grabbing at his collar to force him to his feet as an attempt at a second chance at life.

The two of you dashed through gun smoke and flying debris, doing everything you could to ensure that you were going to live to see another day. It all happened so quickly that Price didn’t even register what had happened until the two of you were caught back up with the rest of the team.

He was frazzled at first. He was barely even aware of what happened until he had the chance to replay it all over in his mind again.

The team eventually slowed once the coast was clear and was in a safe location. The time to catch your breath and regroup was definitely needed, and it was just enough given time to allow Price to come to terms with what exactly you had just done.

And quite frankly, he couldn’t believe it.

You had come back for him.

He couldn’t fathom that you had rolled the dice and thrown your life out on the line on the off chance of saving his. He wasn’t worth all of that, and it spooked him just how quickly you had acted on it.

He was having a hard time processing it. He couldn’t come up with a proper reaction fast enough. So he resorted to the one that came to him most naturally (a flaw of his, he was aware.)

Anger.

His initial reaction exploded right there in front of everyone. He blew a gasket right then without taking into account that this was not the time nor the place to have this conversation. He spat fire as he gave a little sneak peek at the full version scolding that was to come later when the two of you were alone.

Ghost, Soap, and Gaz couldn’t do anything other than stand stoically and watch. They were just as shocked at his fury as you were because if there was one thing there was to know about John Price, it was that you could never, ever do wrong in his eyes.

His anger was a major surprise to you. Certainly it was a rash decision, but it was the right move under any circumstances. How could he be mad at you for saving his life?

The journey back to the base was quiet. No one dared to say anything. Price was silent, but visibly stewing. It didn’t feel right to be the source of his emotional turmoil. Never once had he blown up at you like that, especially when you had done him a favor.

There was part of you that felt ashamed, the natural feeling after being hissed at by your superior. But the other part of you was frustrated. He was ungrateful for the fact that you cared enough to go back for him? How did that make any sense?

The trip back to the base felt all too short. You knew once you were in a private location, it was game on. The scenery outside of your window flew by in a flash, far too quickly for you to take any of it in.

The moment your boots hit the ground outside of the vehicle, Price barked an order to speak with you.

The rest of the team couldn’t do anything but watch helplessly as Price practically dragged you to an empty room to “have a chat.” It felt like following the principal to his office after one too many strikes inside the classroom. Except this time you had no strikes, and you weren’t even sure what exactly you were in trouble for.

Price entered first, waiting for you to follow suit before unloading everything on you. There was barely even time to take a breath before he went off again.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Price boomed, not even a millisecond after the door closed behind him with a squeak and a thud.

A flush of red infiltrated his cheeks as he stared at you through unblinking eyes. His pupils were blown to twice their normal size, almost to the point where his irises were completely swallowed by black. If it weren’t for the natural intervention of his brain, the hard clench of his jaw would’ve broken every single one of his teeth.

Never once had Price even remotely acted like this towards you. If anything, you were the only one who could prevent him from getting this upset over something.

Needless to say, Price was beyond angry.

It was uncomfortable to be yelled at like this by anybody…especially when it was someone who you were so fond of and vice versa. But even under the awkward pressure, you weren’t one to let this kind of outburst slide without a little pushback.

“Well that’s a shitty way to thank me.” Your voice low and words coming out as a mumble.

Price’s upper lip twitched. His face morphed into an expression that plainly and clearly read: “are you kidding me?”

“Thank you? You just nearly got both of us killed, and you want me to thank you?” He gawked, clearly not believing what he was hearing.

“We were all at risk. I wasn’t in any more danger than anybody else.” You argued, arms crossed over your chest in a defensive way.

“You had gotten away with the others. Darling, I would’ve been just fine.” He seethed.

“Like hell you would’ve. You might as well have had a target on your forehead,” You corrected. “I had to come back for you.”

“You didn’t have to do anything. You put your own safety, not to mention your life, in jeopardy.” He fired back.

“Which is something that I know you would’ve done for me,” You remarked. “Look me in the face and say you wouldn’t have done the same if it had been me instead of you.”

Price’s next line of words were knocked out of his mouth. He knew that you were right. There was no doubt in his mind that he would’ve done the same for you…in the exact same way and with the same lack of hesitation.

Price never would’ve been able to live with himself if something irreversibly horrible had happened to you, and he did nothing to prevent it. The thought alone of something like that happening brought a burning, unbearable nausea to his stomach.

This was different in his mind. You had put yourself at risk for his sake…in a lot of ways, it wasn’t so different at all.

John did everything he could to keep you safe. There were layers to your relationship. Colleagues, best friends, lovers. It made things complicated, he would admit. It certainly had changed many things.

Suddenly, you had transitioned from his best soldier, to his best soldier that he also happened to be madly in love with. It was a welcomed change, but it was one that presented some challenges.

He was so emotionally and romantically involved with you that he went the extra mile to ensure that you were secure.

In this line of work, it made that task much, much more difficult. It was exhausting to constantly be on defense from the outside elements that he couldn’t control. The sinister things and people that were out to get you in an ongoing war.

Price knew that deep down he couldn’t stop everything from getting to you. You had been injured on missions more than once, some incidents being worse than others. But he felt that it was his responsibility to do everything he could to prevent that, and that’s where the root of his anger was growing from.

In reality, it wasn’t that at all. It was fear manifesting itself into anger.

You had scared him.

It wasn’t lost on him that most people wouldn’t lash out like this at the person who just saved them from death. Honestly, he wasn’t sure why he was feeling so strongly about this.

Price knew that he was often quick to react boldly to certain situations. It was something that he had been consistently working on since establishing a relationship with you. He wanted to better himself, and this was an opportunity to put it into effect.

He took a moment to re-center himself, taking a deep breath in to reset his mind and body.

Explain how you feel, John. Communicate.

“It was stupid to come back for me. You could’ve easily been killed,” Price rumbled. “I can’t risk that.”

While Price was well on his way to calming down, you were still burning on.

“Why? I can handle myself, Price.”

That stung his heart. When it was just the two of you, you only used his last name when it was an intentional dig. He took another breath. He had drawn this behavior out of you, and he could certainly defuse it if he kept it together.

Keep it together. You made her angry.

“Because this means nothing without you,” He said as coolly as possible. “I couldn’t live with myself if something had happened to you on my account.”

There was a moment of quiet. A gentle, personal reflection that both of you needed to reach a constructive end to this conversation. His words took a moment to register in your mind, your heart soaking them up much faster than your brain.

His face was still frozen still, but his eyes were swimming with feeling. Somewhere in those pools of his, there was a glimmer of fear shining through. A fear that you had inadvertently caused out of an act of care and love.

When looking at this situation from his point of view, it made sense how he felt. If Price had risked his life to save yours, it would’ve frightened you as well.

“John…” You exhaled, a mound of stress coming off with it.

Tell her you love her.

“I love you,” He professed, his hand coming to cradle your face. “You know I do. It’s just that I’ve lost a lot of people that I care about…and I can’t lose you.”

“I almost lost you. I couldn’t just let that happen.” You stated.

It was almost comical. The two of you were arguing over the same thing essentially…just from different perspectives. John was upset that you risked your life for his, although he would’ve done the same for you. And if John had been the one to put his life on the line…you weren’t so sure that you wouldn’t have reacted the same way.

John’s anger was a reflection of fear, which in turn was an even stronger reflection of love. It was hard to be so defensive when he was so passionate. John was understanding of the position you were in. He supposed that, in reality, he was more distraught over the fact that you had been put in that situation to begin with.

“I suppose I can’t stop you from saving my life then, hm?” John chuckled, his voice low and much calmer now.

He pressed his lips to your forehead, planting a sweet kiss that was more for his own comfort than yours. This ordeal was just a reminder of the dangers and tribulations of your job. The situations that you often found yourself in were less than ideal, considering the average person would never have to have this conversation.

Most of all, it was a cruel reminder of how uncontrollable fate can be…and the risks of being in love with each other.

“And I can’t stop you from saving mine.”

John didn’t like it when you couldn’t come to a mutual compromise. Nine times out of ten, the two of you could always come to a happy solution when you had a disagreement. John didn’t like leaving unfinished business, especially when it came to you.

He ran his thumb across the apple of your cheek, the warmth of your face infiltrating his hand. He felt relief when he looked into your blinking eyes, the same ones that he had fallen in love with over and over again. The ones that glistened with love and life.

He always prayed that he would go first because he was petrified of the day that he couldn’t look into their beauty anymore.

“I wish that I could promise to be more careful.” John declared, his chest inhaling and exhaling deeply.

“Yeah…” You answered, the sudden serenity in his voice settling you. “But no matter how much you protest it…I’ll always come back for you.”

There was a pang in his heart. The words crept into his bloodstream and spread through every capillary and every fiber of his body. He couldn’t stop you from being there for him, protecting him, supporting him.

Most of all, he couldn’t stop you from loving him. The same way that you couldn’t stop him.

“Me too, darling. Me too.”

#john price #john price x reader #john price x fem! reader #john price x female reader #john price x you #john price x y/n #john price angst #john price oneshot #john price oneshots #john price imagine #john price imagines #john price fanfiction #john price mw2 #mw2 #mw2 fanfic #mw2 fanfiction #mw2 imagine #ghostandsoap

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tarotbydelilah444 · 10 months

Text

♌️✨What Does Leo Season Have In Store For You?

hi guys! welcome to Leo season & happy solar return to all the Leos out there. I’m a Leo moon. Hope you enjoy the reading and don’t forget to like, share, and comment what pile resonated for you. As always, sending you love and light✨🤍 - Delilah pile one ✨

crystal for leo season | tiger’s eye

message for ♌️ season | butterfly | you will definitely be going through some major changes and transformations during Leo season, regardless if you expected or didn’t expect it. It’s time for you to change and grow because the old chapter no longer fits who you are in this current moment. Change is necessary in order for us all to grow, even when it feels uncertain and scary. You will be a brand new person in the end. Remain hopeful.

Some of you will be getting into sound healing. You should try out Reiki to help you balance your chakras and even balance your mind, body, and soul. Balance will be a big theme for you, as you could be trying to release certain things in your life that no longer serve your highest good whether it be people, places, or situations that knock you off balance. I see you building strength to fight back against anyone and anything that may have gotten in your way. You will be determined to protect your energy from anyone or anything that tries to destroy your peace. You will be focusing on what brings your strength and stability. You could also find yourself focusing on your outer appearance more than normal. If you been wanting to work on your body, this is your sign to create a workout plan, join a fitness program, take a workout class , work with a personal trainer, or create your own workout playlist from home to do. Make goals for yourself and track your growth to help you continue your journey. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself. You will be going through changes, but it’s in your highest favor. Old cycles are closing and new cycles are ready to began, once you accept this change. Everything will be working out in your favor. The universe is on your side and guiding you towards your destiny.

health | you could be a bit disorganized when it comes to your health. Your emotional health could be controlling you at this time when it should be the other way around. You may have a lot going on at the moment and it’s affecting your mental health. You are overextending and exhausting yourself to the point that you cannot think straight. You need to create a routine that can help eliminate any distractions, stress, or anxiety that you may be dealing with. Focus on the things that are within your control and leave the rest. Some of you could be relying on substances/addictions to help you deal with your issues and this is only hurting you. Try taking a break from these distractions and seeking out help from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Also slow down, you could be overindulging in too many at things, only you know what it is.

career & finances | make sure that you are making good financial decisions. Don’t spend your money on things you don’t need or that won’t be valuable down the line. This is not the time to make bad investments when it comes to money and career. Do your research and ask for a second opinion before making any financial decisions. You are waiting to see if you will get approved for something (new house, new car, or a new job). It will likely work out in your favor, so give it some time. If you already working, I see that you will be evaluated and watched closely by your superiors to determine if you are capable for a promotion or higher position. Make sure that you are doing your part and do it well because you may get rewarded for your efforts. If you have been slacking, it’s time for you to reevaluate your priorities and get your shit together when it comes to your professional life and finances.

love | you are being asked to take charge of your love life and make the first move. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and express how you feel towards your love interest. Make your intentions clear, so there is no room for confusion. You are seeking stability and commitment when it comes to matters of the heart. If you are single, you will be meeting someone that is older and mature. This person will be able to grant you stability, commitment, and longevity, if you are open up to the possibility. This person seems to know what he/she wants and they expect the same attitude from you. If you’re dealing with an ex partner, I see that they have been thinking about you and may come forward soon or contact you. You may not trust this person and believe that they have bad intentions. Always trust your intuition. For those in relationships, if you and your partners have been having issues, I see it improving and the both of you will be bringing stability back into the connection.

channeled messages | April (the month/name), someone is sending you evil eye, karma is coming, family issues, Aries, Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus, Leo, Aquarius, and Sagittarius, piercings, glasses, phone number, new phone, new number, incoming phone call or text message, following your destiny, marriage, and commitment

pile two 🌻

crystal for leo season | pyrite

message for ♌️ season | feather |

be honest with yourself. There is somewhere in your life where you haven’t been upfront. You are not being honest about something or this could be someone being dishonest with you about something. You are being asked to speak your truth and give the gift of honesty rather than lying or keeping secrets. the truth will set you free.

Connect with crystals. You guys will be working with crystals or collecting crystals. You will be working with crystals to help you set intentions for yourself or to attract opportunities towards you quicker. Start working with beginner crystals and learning their meanings and their benefits. Use your crystals during your meditation practice, in your home, your car, or on your physical body to absorb the energy you pick up in your surroundings or that can correspond with a specific chakra. You guys could also be budgeting and paying more attention to your finances and expenses in Leo season. Set money aside for expenses in one account and money for minor inconveniences and emergencies expenses. Make sure that you are being responsible and wise when it comes to your finances. For some, you could be wanting to come up with new ideas to generate more money. You could want to start a business and you are researching and creating a business plan to make this happen. Also, work with crystals that are associated with money and prosperity. Use pyrite, tiger’s eye, green aventurine, and citrine. You will be emotionally fulfilled in Leo season. Be ready to be happier than you possible can imagine. Be open to receiving any and all blessings that are coming in for you. You will be feeling more secure and at peace than before. You will also be feeling balanced, creative, and playful during this time. Enjoy it!

health | you will be discovering that you are pregnant in Leo season. So if you needed confirmation, here it is and congratulations in advance. For some, who have been trying to get pregnant, this may be a good time to start trying again or you will be receiving a miracle from the universe. Be gentle and patient with yourself, continue to take care of yourself because your wish will be granted soon. For others, this could be an unexpected pregnancy and you are deciding to keep this a secret for now, it would be wise to tell someone close to you for you to get the help that you need. For others, it may be time for a health checkup or you need to make some improvements in terms of your health. This could be exercising more, eating healthier, and avoiding unnecessary foods. Try to prioritize your health by starting a self-care routine, or making improvements in your self-care routine to help you stay focused and consistent. You will see results over time, if your remain consistent with your regimen.

career & finances | you could be waiting to hear back from a new job or a position that you applied for. The news may be a bit delayed, but you will get the job. If you are applying for a new job make sure that you do your research before applying for the job. This would be a great time to make any changes and improvements to your resume, if you need to. If you are looking to start your own business, it would be a great time to create a business plan and research methods on how to start, manage, and promote your business. Be open to advice and learning new things. When it comes to your finances, you need to make sure that you are paying attention and being mindful of your spending and your expenses. Make sure that you are reading over your contracts or agreements before making purchases or making any financial decisions. Some of you could also decide to go back to school to receive better job opportunities.

love | you are being asked to be patient when it comes to your love life. The universe is crafting the perfect person for you and will deliver this individual in divine timing. You are being encouraged to focus on what you need and want from your partner. Don’t force or rush a connection because you want to hurry up the process to find love. If you are a partnered up with someone, I feel like this person is a divine counterpart and you will be balancing out the connection if there has been any issues or misunderstandings. Love is about balance and harmony, so work things out with your person.

channeled messages | starting a family, building/buying a new home, soulmates, June (month/name), short, someone still talks about you to their friends and family, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Virgo, Taurus, Aquarius, Libra, and Gemini, a truth/news being exposed, rewards from the universe, making amends, red hair, straight hair, secrets and hidden information, clarity, profitable new ideas, and angel number # 111

pile three 🦁

crystal for leo season | citrine

message for ♌️ season | lion | believe in your power. Do you believe in your inner power, so why aren’t you standing in your power or embracing your power. you are capable of accomplishing anything that you put your mind in. You need to start believing in yourself and stop looking for outer validation from others. Be your own cheerleader.

Make sure that your are prioritizing your health. If you have any health issues make sure you are addressing these concerns with your healthcare provider. Some of you should go in for a health checkup to make sure that you are in perfect health, so schedule a doctors appointment as soon as possible. Remember that health is wealth. Start to prioritize self-care. Show you body some extra love and care, if you have been feeling overwhelmed and being abandoning your needs. Try taking a long relaxing bath to help relieve any stress that you’ve been holding in your body. I feel like you guys have been ignoring your body signaling for you to take a break and relax. Honor your body, mind, and spirit by showing it some well deserve tender, love, and care. You will be in a much happier and better place in Leo season. The cloudy days are over and the sun has shined again. All your worries will soon dissipate, and be replaced with happiness, joy, peace, and clarity. Everything will be working out in your favor and will be getting better. You will be glowing and radiating, after a period of sadness and this will attract others to your optimistic and radiate energy.

health | pay attention to your mental and emotional health, as it’s affecting your physical health. Some of you could be dealing with depression, anxiety, or the aftermath of a traumatic event. Make sure that you are reaching out for support if you are struggling. It’s okay to grieve and process your emotions but accept help from others. You don’t have to do it alone. For some, this could be an issue related to your heart. This is the time to listen to your body and give it what it needs in order for you to stay healthy. Limit the amount of stress and give yourself some time to recuperate and recover. Stop feeling guilty for taking care of yourself first.

career & finances | your finances will be more than fine in Leo season, so there is nothing to worry about. Your finances will continue to increase and you will be financially stable. Everything will be a success in terms of your finances and career, as your hard work and efforts have paid off. Continue to be smart with your investments and generating more wealth for yourself. If you have been struggling with finances, I see that your money worries will finally be over, as you can be receive support from others and your hard work will be paying off, so keep up the good work. you could even receive an advance or promotion to a leadership position.

love | your love life might be a mess at the moment. If you are in a relationship, you and your partner could be arguing and in conflict with one another. There is too much pettiness and ego involved and it’s affecting the connection in a negative way and it’s causing lots of unnecessary stress and headaches for you both. If you want this connection to work, try communicating with your partner and discuss what is the root of the issue and work towards fixing it. Don’t let ego and resentment break up this connection, if you and your partner still desire it. If it becomes too much, it may be time to go your separate ways. If you are single, you need to stop self-sabotaging in terms of love, you want to be loved or be in a relationship, but you keep running away from it because you are afraid to be vulnerable or to be hurt. Love is a risk and if you want it, you have to be able to take that risk. There could be a new beginning in love, it’s up to you if you want to take the risk. You should continue focus on healing any traumas you may have experienced in past connections to avoid unpacking it in new connections.

channeled messages | summertime, springtime, Leo, Capricorn, Taurus, Sagittarius and Virgo, green eyes, jealously, new beginnings, ignoring your needs, spiritual awakening, dark night of the soul, heart problems, sacral chakra, lighter complexion, blockages, be generous, treat yourself, counseling/therapy, learning your triggers, clarity, creativity, and setting boundaries

pile four 🧡

crystal for leo season | yellow aventurine

message for ♌️ season | deer |

bring gentleness and grace in every aspect of your life. You need to be more gentle and kinder to yourself as you go through your healing journey.

Clear your energy field. You have a lot of negative or unwanted energies that is living in your aura and energetic field. Remove and release anything that no longer serves your highest good and only invite things that you want into your energetic field. Make sure that you are protecting your energy and cleansing your energy regularly. Work with cleansing tools such as crystals, sage, palo santo, or simply meditate or shower. Dancing can be a way to eliminate any energetic blocks in your body. Feel free to allow yourself to be free and dance, no matter how embarrassing it may be or how self conscious it may make you feel. Have fun. Consider taking a dancing class, go out to a club, dance for your partner or with friends. Just have fun and let your creativity run wild. You will be feeling very abundant and in your divine feminine energy. You will be catering to your own needs, but you will also be open to others wanting to cater to you. You will be embracing your softer and more feminine qualities by tapping into your emotions. You will attract people by your loving and compassionate energy. You will also be prioritizing your self-care and self love to attract things and people to you. You will also create something that you invested a lot of time and effort into.

health | anxiety and fear could be ruling your life at the moment and this is affecting your mental, emotional, and physical health. You need to confront these feelings or emotions that is keeping you stuck in fear. Try journaling or talking to someone about your feelings, as they are valid. You could be fearing the worst possible outcome, which may only be in your head, but it could manifest into reality if you don’t confront these issues and fears right away. You are being asked to release these blocked emotions before they poison your body and become hard to deal with. You may even benefit from a chakra cleanse.

career & finances | you may have to make a choice when it comes to a job, whether you want to stay or go find something better. Don’t be afraid to step out your comfort zone and try something new if you been wanting change. Take your time before making a decision, but don’t take too long or you’ll miss out on opportunities. Weight your pros and cons. Some of you could have to travel for work or whatever you decide to do in terms of career and finances will require a partner to help you achieve your goals. You will also be gaining stability in your finances, if it was an issue in the past. By allowing growth and expansion, your finances will improve.

love | love is in the air, if you are single. Get ready to meet someone that you will have a loving and harmonious relationship with. You and this person will be inseparable and have a lot in common. There is a mutual love and respect for each other. This will be emotionally fulfilling and exciting connection. You will know who this person is because you will feel connected to them before you even meet them. If you are in relationship, expect for you and your partner to become even closer and your bond becoming stronger than ever before. Lots of affection and time spent together. It may be a chance that your person may propose to you to solidify this connection. If you are in separation with someone, this person misses you and is thinking about you a lot at this time. There may be a chance for reconciliation and to rebuild the connection.

channeled messages | Latina/Latino, Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Libra, and Aries, root chakra, solar plexus chakra, and third eye chakra, darker complexion, blue eyes, protection, soulmate connection, creativity, soft-girl era, new hobbies, project, stop looking, choosing between your comfort zone and something new, 222, connecting to your inner wisdom, and stepping into your power

#pac reading #channeled messages #spirituality #astrology #pick a card tarot #tarot #crystals #channeled song #leo season #pick a pile #alexa demie

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bara-izu · 9 months

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Would Halion be sad as well hearing astarion's backstory?

Cause I definitely did 😭😭😭

*Story Spoiler warning / me rambling about my Tav*

Yeah he was pretty devastated... He understood the small parts Astarion told him early on, he knew cazador was a bad person and it fueled a desire to help this random guy claim back his freedom. The vampire part was of course a surprise, Halion can be a little naive so it gave him whiplash lol

But as their journey continued he started to pick up on Astarion's reactions, realising just how much abuse he had endured...

Being a teifling, Halion was able to read the inscription on Astarion's back and help translate it, he of course didn't quite understand it fully, since it was only a fragment of a larger manuscript, but just the fact someone could do that made him angry...

Another case being the drow in moonrise who looked at Halion like he was Astarion's handler, the whole interaction made him mad. He basically told the drow to fuck off.

This followed the interaction with the hug scene

Then jump forward to after killing the orthon, being sarcastic with the "repeat after me: thank you for helping me, it was very kind" - Halion is up for banter, but the way Astarion replied in such a monotone, obedient way made him instantly regret it...

Arriving in Baldur's Gate, paying a visit to the Tabernacle, when astarion says he is not religious because "beleive me, I tried praying to them all, but none of them listened" struck a chord with his devoted Lathander ass...

- Fast forward again to the Szarr palace -

Halion decked Godey. Goodbye skellyman. Fuck you. The palace was not a fun place, and he recognised it brought up some not great memories, reading Cazador's journal also filled up his anger meter... But also admittedly Halion was taken back by the interactions with the spawn in the dungeon. He knew through Astarion's admittance that he himself was just a means of "protection" when they first met, that it was instinctive for him to seduce people as a means to an end. But hearing Astarion agree that Halion could have been one of the victims lured to the palace was a bit of an awakening. Astarion was also very defensive for a lot of the things that he did, flipently pushing the blame. There was a weird mix of emotions, on one hand Halion knew it wasnt Astarion's fault since he had to follow orders, but on the other hand, he felt understandably upset/frustrated.

During the confrontation with Cazador, he stayed silent as he felt it wasn't his place to say anything, instead, got ready to blind him with the sun >:)

The final thing, finding out how old Astarion was before he turned, (possibly a mistraslation so don't come after me) but believed to be about 39 when he died, wrecked him. Firstly, that is a similar age to what Halion is now, secondly in high elf culture, elves are seen as mature 'adults' around 100 years, so not only had astarion spent more time as a slave, then not, but also he was so young when it happened... Halion wants to take the opportunity now to show him the kind of life he should be living at that age.

But in general didn't want to pity Astarion. He is a survivor, he is strong, he is stronger than the person Cazador thought he 'made' him, and he was incredibly proud of his actions in the dungeon. (Stopping the ritual, setting the spawn free)

So yeah, he was very sad, but also incredibly angry on Astarion's behalf, he wants to show he is there as a supportive figure, that it's okay to be vulnerable around him, but also not smother him because he recognises he finally has that independence back :') Bonus for getting this far: (enjoy some cute/silly screenshots)

#halion sunblaze #bg3 tav #astarion x tav #ask izu

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perplexingluciddreams · 1 year

Text

A “brief” overview of my communication journey:

My verbal communication was always limited to echolalia and scripts (by scripts, I mean pieces of different echolalia that I stuck together to create a new phrase, or longer several-sentence delayed echolalia. But I didn’t learn to do this until I was at least 9 years old). I also had very limited control over what my mouth said - I would regularly hear my mouth say something I completely disagreed with, then had to watch in panic and confusion as the people around me reacted as if it was something I actually thought.

I used to request things that I didn't even want. "I want..." statements were banned in my house because they were "rude". “I want never gets!” I had stuck as a script for the longest time, even involuntarily saying it when other children said an “I want…” phrase.

I was given examples of how to request things by my parents. I used "I would like...", "Can I have... please", etc. But this didn't give me a reliable way to ask for what I wanted - I could only ask for things I had a script for. So I was limited to a handful of foods and objects that as I grew older, I had less and less interest in.

Saying "please" and "thank you" was drilled into me so much that I would often say it at the end of other unrelated scripts because it got "stuck" there by my mouth, without my permission. I got laughed at for this a lot.

I would say "yes" when I meant no, I couldn't reject things because I didn't have a script for saying "no". And I had been told to be polite so many times that it was a concrete rule in my mind - breaking a rule was worse than anything else. Saying "no" was rude, according to the adults around me - if another child said "no" to something, they were told off by a teacher or their parent. I didn't understand tone of voice so I thought it was the thing they were saying that was wrong.

As I got older, and became more aware that other people seemed to have more control over their voices and could say what they wanted (my general awareness of people and my surroundings definitely played into my struggles with communication, but I won’t elaborate on that here) I would sometimes sit in my bedroom and attempt to read aloud from a book, or write a sentence and read it aloud. To my confusion and upset, it would come out garbled with sounds mixed up, words missing, sometimes no sound coming out of my mouth at all. I couldn't make intelligible speech with my own words AT ALL.

I managed to teach myself to manually make some sounds, mostly vowel sounds, by moving my tongue around whilst making sounds with my vocal cords. But clearly this was not enough for using spontaneous speech as communication. Not to mention, any time I even considered trying to get my OWN words out (with speech, writing - even drawing pictures, signs), all words and scripts I knew just disappeared from my mind.

The only time I could even slightly get my emotions out was through movement - I used to throw myself backwards onto my bed repeatedly, bang my head with my hand, pull my hair, spin around in circles. I now know these would be called "stimming", but at the time I used it more for expressing myself. I also had other repetitive movements that I did almost constantly without even realising what I was doing, but I considered the expressive movement to be a different thing entirely at the time.

It took me years to get my own words out, and that was only once I managed to break down (spoken AND written, and both connected) language into individual words and learn the meanings, then learn to build it back up again. (And, this could only happen after I’d lost most of my out-of-control scripted speech. AAC with symbols helped me break down language in this way, because each word has a separate button and I was forced to learn to form sentences without an already-there structure to fall back on).

In order to do this, first I must take the long string of noises, and break it down into words. Then I must take those words and process the meaning of them individually. The biggest challenge, and the thing that takes the most time, is building the sentence back up.

Words often change meaning when they're strung together, and this is the part where that meaning tends to disintegrate into nothing, for me.

I have to build an abstract "picture" of what the words mean in my head. With very complex language, or a lot of language at once, this can take me hours, days, or even weeks.

Written language is a lot easier to process - firstly, the "string of noises" part is completely eliminated from the equation. Secondly, I see written words as entire shapes. Shapes, symbols or signs connect much more strongly to their meaning, in my head.

I learned to write by hand before I could type, because writing by hand is just copying the shape of a word. I hadn't yet learned to break down a word into it's individual characters and sequence them in the right order, not to mention finding the letters on the keyboard. My spelling has always been fantastic because of my tactile memory for words - and I say tactile instead of visual, because I don't "see" anything in my head, but the shapes of words are something solid that I feel I can touch, hold, grab on to.

But typing was a completely different thing, because even though I could recognise and read words in a typed print, it took longer for me to understand how to put letters together in the correct order to create words using a keyboard. The motor plan for typing was much more difficult for me to learn, but now I have that skill it's invaluable to me in terms of communication.

It took me a little while longer to realise that a keyboard gave me the opportunity to use my own words from my own mind, rather than whatever my mouth (or brain, when writing - I had different written scripts than verbal scripts, though, usually from books) happened to blurt out without my control.

I learned to read very early, but my understanding of language was actually quite poor - separately I could recognise the definition of one word, but when many words are put together I didn't understand the meaning of that sentence or paragraph.

The feeling of being able to put my own thoughts into written words like this, and read them back, is such a rush of power. I can have a concrete, physical impact on the world now that I can use a keyboard and get all the things in my head out there. It becomes real as soon as it's outside of me.

I remember that "comprehension" (answering questions on a written passage - we learned to answer the questions in a certain way, with a “blueprint”) in school really helped me with the breaking down of sentences and rephrasing them. Even though at the time, it just felt like it added to my out-of-control scripted speech, it gave me a skill that has been incredibly useful to me in the long term.

Getting to this point, where I can express myself fluently and eloquently through written language, took so much time and work, and still takes all my energy to write something as long as this. I am so grateful for the genuine communication I have now. It took many sessions, over months, to write this in its entirety. I wrote it in separate chunks, all trying to express similar things, then fitted them together and altered some sentences to make it flow better. (Of course with lots of editing to fix my grammar and my tendency to repeat the same sentence structure over and over - I still use my “blueprints” while writing, it’s the only way I can form complex long sentences like this one).

In order to communicate a memory or past experience in words, I had to have been actively translating (or attempting to translate) my abstract thoughts into language at the time.

If I wasn't or couldn't do this at the time it was happening, those experiences, thoughts, emotions, etc. are almost impossible to describe in language now.

And translating my brain takes so much energy and effort, and relies on me being able to understand what is happening and what I'm thinking and feeling. I more often than not don't comprehend my own mind - if this is the case, then of course I can't explain it to someone else.

It still takes so much time, effort and energy to get my thoughts out like this, and I’m very proud of the progress I’ve made. Even just learning to use Tumblr and posting on here as regularly as I can manage (plus reading other people’s words about similar experiences, or even very different experiences), has increased my ability to express myself and the vocabulary I’m able to access.

#autism #autistic #nonverbal #nonspeaking #echolalia #scripting #disability #nonverbal autism #nonverbal autistic #actually nonverbal #sina I hope this is long enough to help fill the nonverbal tags !#😂 (semi joking)#long post #no tldr #verbal communication #communication #from the chaos of my mind

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oddballwriter · 5 months

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My god I just finished reading all of your moon boys as dads blurbs and holy shit

I was hoping you would write a blurb/one-shot where Marc just can't help but compare fem! reader (they have 2 sons) and his mother, but the reader doesn't act the way his mom would and that is slowly but surely healing him. Maybe also where their younger boy gets hurt while playing with his brother and she calms their oldest by saying "It wasn't your fault, you didn't do it on purpose". Poor Marc would definitely start crying as soon as they're alone. Anyway, toodles!

Healing Wounds

Summary: Fatherhood was something that really healed Marc in a way that he couldn't imagine, and with that, situations are a lot less stress-inducing and let him enjoy finer moments with his family.

Warnings: Talk about Marc's trauma. Thoughts of self-doubt and being unable to let go of the past. Y/N and Marc (and the rest) being good parents. A whole lot of fluff at the end.

Author’s Snip: We love letting our man heal his mental and emotional wounds.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 859

It was kind of funny. Of course, you and him end up having two sons. It just had to happen like that didn't it. It wasn't like he didn't want them. God, no. Marc would never trade his boys for anything and he knows that neither would you.

But it was always there in the back of his mind. The faintest overlay in his vision and memory to back when he was a kid and all of its awful moments. All the screaming, crying, pain, and moments and milestones that were stained no matter how much he tried to scrub the bad out.

With your first, Aaron, there was the dread of being a parent and doing it wrong. He didn't want to get any of it wrong but there was the dilemma of where exactly he was meant to be. Too much of a pushover then his son would be spoiled and never get the hang of life. Too strict and demanding then he'd just be her. And Marc would rather die than even be her in the slightest. It was a hard thing for him to balance in his own mind. Marc was gone for a while but you all knew that it was for him to reflect and gather himself. Marc very much still had some wounds that he needed to lick before he took that journey.

And he did great. All three of them did great in their own ways but Marc clearly felt more comfortable and secure with himself being a dad and also working with you. You knew deep down that you were a part of that security, that the image was mostly on you. And you made sure that Marc never saw her in you even once. It's not like you were planning too, of course. You couldn't even imagine doing such things, or how any mother could have the audacity.

But when Matthew, or Matty as you all call him, came along there was a new dilemma that brought on more thoughts that wouldn't leave him alone. But Marc knew that Aaron and you managed to heal those wounds, so he knew that this would heal up so much more. He just needed to believe in himself and you, and the process.

Marc had the usual talk that a parent would with a soon-to-be older sibling, the whole "Just because we're having another one and are giving them more attention doesn't mean we don't love you. They just need more attention because they're small". Aaron understood, matter of fact he seemed really excited to be an older brother. Marc took that and made it something to use for healing. You and him taught Aaron how to help take care of Matthew and how to hold him, letting him be a part of his baby brother's life.

Years went by and they both grew, you bought a house, Marc started feeling better, and everything felt perfect. Sure, there were some moments but they never really impacted anything. There was no fear, no nights spent laying awake worrying about something happening, no moments where the ghosts of a past long since passed showed up in his mind.

That was until one day when everything was seemingly normal. You were doing something, Marc wasn't really paying attention and also couldn't remember what he was doing either. The boys were playing in the backyard. But at some point, you both hear a scream and then a cry coming from the backyard.

Rushing out, you find Matthew sitting on the grass crying and holding his foot while Aaron is kneeling next to him and looks upset and panicked. You go and pick up Matthew while Aaron is repeating "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." and possibly about to cry himself. That's when it all gets Marc, and hard.

He feels overwhelmed by everything, but just before it gets too much he sees you try and settle your boys down. "What happened?" you asked Aaron calmly while holding Matthew who was sniffling into your shoulder. "We were playing soccer and he was going to get the ball in my goal so I tried to stop him, but I didn't know where his foot was so when I kicked he fell." Aaron explains as he starts to cry. You kneel down to his eye level, "Hey, it's okay, sweetie." you shush, "Was it an accident?" you ask. Aaron nods as he whips his tears. "Okay, then it wasn't your fault. You didn't mean to trip him." you say as you help him whip away his tears. "Are you okay, Matty?" you ask the smaller boy to which he nods.

"Alright. Then why don't we just hug it out and maybe sit down for a little or do something inside, yeah?" you suggest. The two boys immediately go in for the group hug, but you glance up at Marc, seeing him watch the whole thing, and gesture for him to join in. Marc, trying to hold back the water in his eyes, joins in. It lasts a few seconds but Marc can feel the situation healing up something again.

#moon knight #moonknight #moon knight x reader #moonknight x reader #marc spector #marc spector x reader #dad!marc spector

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