#I've become v attached to them

[syd-djarin]

Sugar, Spice & Please Fuck Me Nice (neighbor!joel AU)

chapter two: sex and candy

*18+ minors DNI*

tags: mentions of anxiety, religious shame/guilt, reader being insecure, mentions of (negative) past sexual experiences and partners, brief mention of alcohol consumption, v fingering, oral (f receiving) joel is a cunnilinguist, 2000’s nostalgia, mentions of the patriarchy (booooo)  squirting (sue me),  Joel-Land™️™️™️

reader has hair that she fidgets with, "grows warm" /"cheeks burning" but not necessarily blushing, with embarrassment - minor edits to make this more inclusive for my readers <3

word count: ~4.5k

Author/s notes: Sorry it took longer to get ch. 2 out than I anticipated. I've had a lot going on in my personal life (I got a new job!) But I promise it won't be as long for ch. 3 hehe. this is a lengthy chapter, hope y'all enjoy!!

had to name reader's bestie after my dear friend @katiexpunk <3 thanks for always letting me run ideas by you and being a peach in general.

and thank you to @softiedingo for being a beta reader as well <333

It has been two weeks since you introduced yourself to Joel and Sarah. You hate to admit it, but you haven’t been able to stop thinking about Joel. Your mind will stay preoccupied temporarily, then they circle back to him. 

Throwing clothes in the washer? Joel. 

Boiling water for pasta? Joel. 

Doing the dishes? Joel. 

In the shower? Yep, definitely Joel. 

And this morning is no different. 

You’re staring at yourself in your bathroom mirror, brushing your teeth, mind deep into Joel-Land, then your thoughts take a sharp turn - for the worst. You’re thinking about all of your past sexual encounters. 

How unsatisfying and selfish your past partners were. You hadn’t been romantically involved with any of your past partners, all of them casual-no-strings-attached type of arrangements. 

Even if the sex was casual, did that mean the pleasure had to be one-sided? Of course not. 

However, after each encounter you found yourself feeling disappointed, and truthfully, it made you feel…..icky. Was it religious shame? Even though you don’t participate or believe in any religion anymore, your formative years were spent in a conservative, Christian church; where sex is bad, and sin is bad. And you don’t want to be bad, because you will go to hell. You don’t even believe in hell, yet, there is a small voice in your head that still worries about eternal damnation. Jeez, I should really see a therapist about that.  

 Perhaps it’s the misogyny and sexism, rampant and hard-wired into society and into mind’s since the beginning of time. 

Your internal theological and philosophical debate gives you a throbbing headache. 

+++

It’s Friday. Halloween falls on a Tuesday this year, so most Halloween celebrations would occur this weekend. 

If you were still in college, you’d most likely attend a costume party at a frat party and drink until the sun came up. These days, you don’t recover from hangovers as easily and find the anxiety spiral that follows a night of drinking to be too debilitating so you’re planning on keeping it chill this year. 

You’re pouring out a bag of candy into a bowl, so candy is easily accessible for your sweet tooth cravings when you hear a strong, loud cluster of knocks at your front door. 

Knock. Knock. Knock-knock. 

Shaking off your initial startling from the sudden knocks, you open your front door to find Joel. He’s leaning his shoulder on the doorframe, one half of his body bears all his weight. He swiftly straightens upright again when you greet him. He looks even more handsome from the last time you saw him. He’s wearing dark wash jeans that accentuate his body in the most delectable way and a black t-shirt with a faded MILLER CONSTRUCTION graphic that is just barely legible. 

You have the urge to steal the well-worn shirt so you can sleep in it, relish his scent, and let it become a metaphorical embrace of Joel. 

Fuck, I really am down bad, you internally scold yourself to come back to the present moment. 

“Joel! Ho-how are you?” you manage to creak out through nerves and surprise. 

His beautiful, dark brown eyes are staring right into yours. His eyes could compel you to do anything. 

“I’m doin’ alright, you?” The word ‘alright’ is drawn out making it sound like “awllll-right”

“Can’t complain. Y’all settling in okay?” tilting your head unconsciously, as if to convey genuinity.  

“Oh yeah, ‘s a nice neighborhood. Sarah seems to be enjoyin’ her new school, I was a lil worried she’d have a hard time but she’s a smart kid and gets along with pretty much everyone. Awful silly of me to worry in the first place…” he’s rambling, hands moving at the same pace as his speech. 

You find his rambling to be cute, it’s a bit of a juxtaposition from his strong, demanding presence. 

Joel realizes he’s nervous after he concludes his tangent. When’s the last time he felt nervous around women? Especially a sweet, non-threatening woman like you? 

“Anywho, I came over to uh- ask you somethin’... Sarah liked your cookies so much she wants to learn how to make them herself and was wondering if you’d teach her?”

“I’d love to!” You shoot him a flattered smile,  learning that Sarah wanted you to teach her to bake makes your heart sing.

Joel is amazed at you. You agreed to teach a twelve year old, one who you hardly know, to bake. He shouldn’t be surprised given your sweet demeanor and generous heart, but he’s in awe of you. 

“You sure? I mean, you obviously don’t have to if you don’t want—”

“Joel, I’d be honored to. Send her over in an hour,” you cut him off, hoping to convey your delight in teaching someone else to bake, the same way your grandma did for you. 

Joel can’t stop the shit-eating grin that appears on his face. 

“Sounds good. I’ll send her your way, sweetheart,” he lingers just for a moment to watch your reaction to the nickname, the one he’s used twice. 

You desperately try to keep your composure cool and collected, but you’ve never had a good poker face. You wear your emotions like an accessory. And right now, you are flustered. You divert your attention to the ground as if looking into his eyes would expose your every thought. 

“O-okay!” You can barely stammer out a response before he is pivoting off your porch, back to his own house. 

You can’t see it with his back turned to you, but Joel is smirking to himself and feeling amused at his effect on you. 

+++

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“Yes, dad. I don’t need a chaperone to bake cookies. I’m a big girl now, remember?”

Yes, he is acutely aware that she is a big girl now. Well, not really, to him she will always be his baby girl, but that doesn’t stop her from growing up. Too fast for his liking. The idea of her becoming a teenager almost gives him a coronary. It won’t be long before she’s driving, then graduating, and college. What if she wants to attend a school in another state? Across the country? 

He feels queasy at that thought, afraid that she will grow out of thinking her dad is the coolest, afraid that she doesn’t want to spend time with her old man anymore. 

He wills himself to think about something else. Anything else. Inevitably his thoughts wander to you. 

Joel hates to admit it, but he was hoping to join Sarah for the baking lesson. He wants an excuse to be in your radiant, sweet, beautiful presence again. 

While you can’t stop thinking about him, he can’t stop thinking about you. 

Driving home from work? You. 

Making dinner? You. 

Making his morning coffee? You. 

Laying in bed? Oh, yeah. Definitely you. 

Exactly one hour passes when Sarah arrives at your house. You’ve already set up in your kitchen in preparation; already pre-measured the ingredients, setting out all the necessary baking equipment and you even found a spare apron for Sarah to wear. Ya know, to give her the full experience. 

“Oooh, this apron makes me feel like a professional!” Sarah exclaims after tying the strings on her designated apron. 

“Well, after this, you will be.”

You can’t remember the last time you felt this much joy. Sharing a passion of yours with someone who is eager to learn from you delights your heart and soul in a way you didn’t know you needed until now. 

“So first, we’ll need to combine the butter and sugar,” Sarah dumps the butter and sugar into the mixing bowl. “Great, now we want to beat the mixture until it looks fluffy.” 

She is completely engrossed in watching for the desired texture, furrowing her brows together in a way that mimics Joel. You find it adorable. 

“Excellent, now we are going to add in the eggs and vanilla extract.” 

She follows your instructions to a T, meticulous and concentrated as if she were mixing hazardous chemicals in a lab. 

“You’re doing great.  Now let’s add our dry ingredients, half of it at a time.” 

Her eyes light up when it’s time to fold in the chocolate chips. You both agree it’s the best part, both of you indulging in a few before adding them to the dough. 

You assist Sarah in rolling the dough into little balls and placing them onto the baking sheet. 

While waiting for the cookies to bake, you learn more about Sarah and Joel. She tells you about their old house, the camping trip they went on this past summer, the catchy pop songs on the radio that Joel will pretend to hate but she catches him humming the tune later, how Joel makes a big breakfast for the two of them every Sunday, a ritual they started when Sarah started school - he makes pancakes just for her. 

Getting a snapshot of Joel and Sarah’s lives and their dynamic makes your mega crush on Joel that much bigger. From what Sarah has shared with you, he seems like a caring, protective yet fun dad. You’re aching to learn everything about him. 

“Do you have any plans for Halloween?” Sarah asks as you’re pulling the baking sheet out of the oven. 

“Oh um, I usually just hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. Nothing super exciting. What about you?”

“We always order pizza and watch a scary movie - nothing super scary though. We dress up too. Well, I dress up but dad thinks he is too cool to do that so he wears the same boring mask every year,” she has a mischievous grin on her face, concocting a plan when she asks, “do you want to come over and join us?” 

On one hand you’d love nothing more than to spend more time with your new friend and Joel, but on the other hand the thought of being in the same room as Joel, in his house, makes you both anxious and aroused. Dizzy, nervous, and horny makes for an unpleasant combination. 

Gaining a sliver of bravery, you swallow your apprehension and say yes. 

“Sure, yeah, what time should I come over?”

“6:30. And you better wear a costume!”

+++

You’ve spent the past hour trying to put a costume together. Not making any progress, you decide to seek external advice - your best friend Katie. 

You both met as freshman and have been close friends ever since, even rooming together in your first off-campus apartment. She moved to the West Coast shortly after graduation, though you still keep in touch via email and phone. You give her the scoop on Joel - him moving into the neighborhood, your gigantic crush on him, how you baked cookies with Sarah yesterday. She’s impatiently waiting for you to bone your hot neighbor. Girl, I’m waiting too. 

“Do you still have that bunny costume you wore junior year?”

You rummage through your tote of seasonal clothing in search of said costume. Pulling it out, you now realize just how skimpy the costume really is. Bunny ears and a tail paired with a skin tight black bodysuit leaves virtually nothing to the imagination and definitely too much skin for this occasion. 

“Dude, I can’t wear this! His daughter will be there! I can’t believe I wore this out in public. This is X-Rated,” you’re growing agitated in having no success in your costume, to the point that you are tempted to tell Sarah you came down with something so you don’t have to go. 

“Okay, okay, the ears and tail are still salvageable. Do you have something besides the bodysuit?”

“Ummm…” you trail off into the phone, frantically searching for something to replace the risque bodysuit. You find a plain white baby tee amongst the sea of clothing, deciding you can pair it with your favorite jeans, the ones that accentuate your body in all the right places. 

“This could work..” muttering to yourself when a devious thought pops into your head. White shirt, no bra. 

“Found it! Gotta go, loveyoubye!” You hang up the call before Katie has a chance to respond, tossing your pink Razr on your bed. Your body hums in anticipation and jitters, feeling emboldened by your no bra plot. 

After throwing on your outfit, you style your hair differently than you normally do. You add several coats of mascara to your lashes, sweep on some blush that complements your skin and add a sparkly lip gloss to your lips, making them appear extra plump and juicy. 

You grab a bag of Halloween candy and you practically skip across the street. Reaching the front door of your new bestie and her gorgeous dad, your confidence is replaced with a furious ball of anxiety. Your heart is palpitating and you feel your stomach churn. 

 Would Joel think you looked stupid? Or worse, childish? Fuck, you should’ve stayed home. 

Joel opening the door snaps you out of your thought spiral but only briefly, because he’s staring at you like you’ve started growing extra limbs. He looks both puzzled and pissed? 

“What uh-what’re you doing here?” 

His voice has a sharpness you haven’t heard before and it stings. 

You have a moment of realization. 

Sarah didn’t run the invitation by her dad.

 You deduct that he isn’t a fan of surprises. 

Before you can formulate a response, Sarah saves you from having to do so. 

“You dressed up! I’m glad you came,” she squeals while wrapping her arms around your middle in an embrace. 

She looks up at Joel from where she’s latched onto you and gives her confused dad an explanation. 

“Dad, it’s okay, I invited her.” 

That seems to alleviate his confusion. You, on the other hand, not so much. You’re internally screaming at yourself. It’s obvious to you that Joel wasn’t expecting you, and in conclusion, doesn’t want you here. 

“I didn’t mean to impose, I—I’m sorry, I’ll uh— just go back home,” fighting back tears of embarrassment, looking everywhere except at Joel.  You think now is a superb time to move across the country, change your name, dye your hair, somewhere far away from this humiliation. 

Joel senses you’re feeling rejected in some way.

“No, no, come on in. Jus’ wasn’t expectin’ you s’all,” he gives you his most reassuring smile. 

You swallow the lump of emotions in your throat. 

He didn’t expect you to come over, nor did he expect you’d show up as his personal version of a Playboy bunny.  He almost busted in his jeans when he could see your nipples through your very thin white t-shirt. He thinks you’re trying to kill him. 

+++

You’re starting to relax once you three settle on the couch, Sarah nestling between you and Joel, Alien on the TV. Turns out, you and Joel share a love for the film. You may or may not have gotten into a heated (playful) debate about the other films in the franchise.

Joel gets an influx of trick-or-treaters, more than you usually get, residents of the neighborhood taking advantage of this opportunity to be nosy. Again. 

In between costume clad visitors, you sneak glances at Joel, who looks absolutely scrumptious tonight. His hair had been damp and combed back when you arrived, his curls now almost dry and in all their glory. He’s wearing an obviously well-loved, faded Pearl Jam concert tee that clings to his arms and grey sweatpants that sit dangerously low on his hips. You wonder if all his shirts fit like that. When he stands, you can see the outline of his dick through his sweatpants.  You have to manually restrain yourself from pouncing on him. You’re soaking through your panties and you’re a little worried that if you stand, the seat beneath you will be soaked too. 

The scent of his body wash invades your nostrils, a heavenly mix of sandalwood and cinnamon. You’re imagining yourself running your hands through his hair and burying your nose into his neck, alternating between kissing and sucking on the skin there. You want to taste every inch of his skin, taking your time to savor him. 

Joel’s stealing glances at you, too. He’s never seen someone look so sweet and seductive, divine even. You smell warm and sweet, amber and vanilla. Not the artificial, manufactured type vanilla scent, it’s like vanilla straight from the bean. When you readjust your position on the couch to get more comfortable, your tits lightly bounce, unrestrained by a bra. He has to stifle a groan, disguising it as a cough. He wonders how much they’d bounce if you were riding his cock. Your lips are absolutely sinful. Pouty and plump, juicy from the lip gloss. The bunny ears are the nail in his coffin. He’s picturing you bent over on his couch, still wearing the bunny ears as he devours your pussy from behind. 

Only a quarter of the way through the movie, a few of Sarah’s friends from her old school pop in to invite her over for an impromptu sleepover to which Joel agrees to, since they no longer go to school together. 

Which means you and Joel are left alone. Together. Your body is aching to close space between you and the man you’re enamored with. You don’t know that Joel is itching to do the same. 

“Sarah couldn’t stop talkin’ bout yesterday. She loved hangin’ out with ya, thanks again for doin’ that.”

“She’s welcome to come over anytime. She’s a sweet kid,” you’re beaming at the fact she enjoyed baking with you. Joel notices the way your eyes gleam, overflowing with delight.

You finally have the courage to meet his eyes. The way his eyes are raking over your entire body makes your clit throb in anticipation. Your heartbeat is erratic, thumping loudly in your ears. 

The energy in the room is magnetic, pulling you and Joel closer together. 

“You can uh-scoot closer t’me if ya want,” he gruffs out, beckoning you to scoot closer to him. Joel wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but you make him feel like a flustered teenage boy about to kiss a girl for the first time. 

You scoot closer to Joel, hoping he doesn’t notice your body trembling from nerves. 

With your body flush next to his, he stretches one of his toned arms behind your head, resting it on the back of the couch. You can feel the warmth radiating from his body and it sends a shiver down your spine, straight to your aching core. 

The tension in the air is palpable, both of your bodies buzzing in arousal. You’re both pretending to watch the movie in front of you, but your minds are elsewhere. He gently removes his arm from the couch and rests it across your shoulders. It’s a seemingly innocuous gesture, but its impact makes you clench around nothing, more arousal dripping into your panties. 

He leans his head down close to yours, his mouth behind your ear.

“No bra? You’re a naughty lil bunny aren’t ya?” His hot breath tickles your ear, your eyes clamp shut involuntarily and you whimper. A high-pitched, whiny whimper, and Joel’s never heard anything sweeter. 

He places his other large palm on your thigh, gently squeezing it. Your skin prickling in goosebumps and your nipples are hard enough to cut glass. The wetness pooled in your panties is beyond the point of comfort. 

Joel presses a chaste kiss behind your ear, eliciting another whimper from you. He peppers kisses from your neck all the way to your collarbones.

“This okay?” 

“Mhmmm…”  You’re already so keyed up you feel hazy. Your whole body feels hot, lit aflame by Joel’s lips on your skin.  

“You gonna be a good girl for me?” he rasps while his hand is caressing your thigh, intentionally not too close to where you want him. Need him. 

“Mhmmm,” you moan, still unable to form words, arousal taking over all of your bodily functions. 

“Need you to use your words, honey.” He squeezes your thigh again.

He pulls his face back from your neck to look you in the eyes, and slows his movements on your thigh so you can tell him to back off or give him the green light to continue. You grab his hand on your thigh and squeeze it, to keep him from removing it. 

“Joel, pleeease. Want it so bad. Need you so fuckin’ bad.” 

You beg in the most sultry voice you can muster, emphasizing every syllable. 

Your lust laden eyes and the way you mewl for him ignites something ravenous, primal, carnal in him. He hasn’t heard you cuss before and it sounds so filthy in your honeyed voice.  His rock hard cock twitches in his pants. 

He presses his plush lips against yours. It’s hesitant at first, but his apprehension dissipates when you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back with fervor. Joel deepens the kiss, one hand gripping your hip, the other hand splayed between your shoulder blades, pressing your body further into his. You tangle one of your hands in his luscious curls. He tastes like sweet peppermint and a hint of black coffee. You feel dizzy, tasting him, finally feeling him. 

He breaks the kiss, guiding you to lie down on your back and props your head up on one of the couch armrests. 

He’s looking down at you and he’s never seen anything more beautiful. You’re always pretty, effortlessly so. But seeing you underneath him, sweet and desperate for him? He’d do anything you ask him to.

“You’re the prettiest lil bunny. So fuckin’ pretty.”

You’re bashful under his gaze and his compliment, cheeks burning. 

Joel notices you trying to shy away and he places a thumb under your chin, forcing you to keep looking at him. 

Now you feel embarrassed for trying to shy away in the first place.

“Sorry I’m—”

“Nothing to ‘pologize for, sweetheart,” he’s caressing your chin with his thumb, alleviating all of the embarrassment from you.

“Wanna taste you. You’ve no idea how bad I’ve wanted to taste you. Needed to know if you were as sweet as your cookies.”

“Oh, fuck,” you breathe out, “yes - yes please, taste me, Joel”

He chuckles softly at your enthusiasm and promptly rids you of your jeans, making the leather of the couch feel cool to the back of your thighs. 

Joel lets out a guttural moan when he sees your sky blue satin panties soaked through. He runs a finger over the damp spot, making you quiver. His touch is featherlight and it’s maddening. You’re squirming, hips lifting off the couch, chasing for more. 

He obliges, running a finger over your clit with added pressure. 

“Joel, please–” You’re a whiny mess under him, and he’s just getting started. He’s rubbing gentle circles over your bud, still-panty clad. 

He presses a kiss on your belly, just below your navel. The tenderness makes your body shudder.

He finally removes your panties and you gasp when the cool air hits your throbbing pussy. 

“Pretty girl with a pretty pussy to match.” Joel’s admiring the way your pussy is glistening for him, begging to be touched. 

He runs a finger through your drenched seam, your juices dripping onto his thick digit. He licks his finger, then shoves it into his mouth so he can taste every drop. His eyes clamp shut, groaning at how you taste. You commit the image to memory, not wanting to forget how he looks and sounds when he tastes you for the first time.

“Knew you’d taste sweet. So fuckin’ sweet.” 

Your brain short circuits when you realize that means he’s thought about this before. That he’s imagined how you’d taste. Picturing him fantasizing about you makes you light-headed. 

Joel spreads your legs wider, giving him full access to your pussy. He dives in without warning, licking from entrance up to your clit.

“Fuck, Joel!” You hoarsely shout with one hand gripping the couch cushion and one tugging onto Joel’s messy curls. His beard scratches the sensitive skin of your pussy as you grind your hips into his mouth, desperate for release. 

 You see stars while he expertly alternates between flicking his tongue and sucking on your clit. He’s keeping a steady rhythm, on the slower side, taking his time pleasuring you. He’s enjoying this.

Obscene sounds fill the room; Joel devouring your pussy like it’s the Last Supper and your chorus of moans and expletives. 

“Fuck, don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop!”

“Shitshitshit–”

“Joelllll-” 

He picks up the pace, your fingers cramping from their deathgrip on the couch. You feel your peak approaching - sweat beading on your forehead, chest heaving, head thrown back in ecstasy. 

Joel senses your approaching release and pushes one of his thick, dexterous fingers into your weeping hole. 

He reaches for your hand that’s tangled in his hair and intertwines your fingers with his, resting your connected hands on your inner thigh. It’s overwhelming; the intimacy of your interlocked fingers paired with the filthy onslaught of his mouth. 

He speeds up as he adds another finger, hitting the spot that no one except you has reached before. You never knew it could feel this amazing. You thought you were doomed to a life of bad sex. 

Apparently, you just needed Joel to show you differently. And you are so glad he proved you wrong. 

Joel hooks his fingers inside you bringing you closer and closer to that peak you’ve been dying to reach. You’re squeezing his fingers, both the ones inside you and the ones interlaced with yours. 

“Joel I-I’m close,” you manage to choke out, mind foggy from the intense pleasure. 

He sucks on your clit, hard and you’re coming, entering a euphoric plane of existence. You’re floating, body trembling, coming harder than you’ve ever come before. 

Joel slows his fingers and removes his mouth from your pussy, beard glistening with your release, gently bringing you back to reality. He keeps your fingers locked with his, grounding you in the present.

The orgasmic fog clears from your brain, regaining awareness of your surroundings when you feel how drenched your lower half is. Like, really drenched. You lift your head from the armrest and look down and you’re appalled by the scene. 

You fucking squirted. Everywhere. 

On yourself, on the couch, on Joel. His beard is soaked completely, to the point it’s dripping down his chin. He’s just as stunned as you are. 

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, fuck I-” you’re scrambling to get off the couch and Joel grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks. 

“What’re you sorry for? That was so fuckin’ hot, sweetheart.” 

“I-I didn’t know I could do that…”

“Oh yeah? First time ever squirtin’?

“Yeah, the first time anyone else has made me come… like, ever.” 

His gaze goes dark. 

You get the feeling that he’s just getting started with you. 

And just like your cookies, he’d never have enough. 

THE END

#joel miller #joel fic #joel x f!reader #fanfic #first fanfic #joel miller is babygirl #joel miller smut

[061306]

␥ list of things i’ve successfully manifested !

i discovered manifestation and the law around early 2022 and here's what i have manifested since then! this might not be much but this is to remind me that i am capable of anything and everything!

𖥻 1. clearer skin

i used to have a terrible breakout on the right side of my face + oily skin. now my skin is much better and less oily! i do not have acne anymore.

𖥻 2. weight loss ( 14 kgs )

i went from 69 kgs to 55 kgs in around two months with minimal exercise ( walking ) & a simple diet.

𖥻 3. height increase ( 11cm )

i used to be 150cm but not anymore lol. i got better proportions too!

𖥻 4. text messages & instant replies from people.

i also manifested message from a friend i was no longer in contact with.

𖥻 5. passing exams i thought i was going to fail

accountancy was my weakest subject but i manifested passing several tests and exams. i also manifested getting better in it!

𖥻 6. getting above average % board exams

board examinations are a big deal in my country and i, unfortunately, ended in a stream i was not interested in. i manifested getting ~80% in them despite getting way lesser in school examinations.

𖥻 7. food

one single thought turned into an assumption and i am having whatever i want for dinner!

𖥻 8. storage of my phone increasing

i only have 32gb of storage in my phone lol. so sometimes i have to clear app caches to make space, but not anymore.

𖥻 9. love confession

i simply wanted a love confession and i got it. as easy as it gets.

𖥻 10. an increament in my mom’s salary & money for myself

my mom really wanted an increament and i manifested it! she got increament of 5.5k! also manifested a bonus for her. + got gift money from my parents and relatives!

𖥻 11. letting go of & detaching from several people

i used to be attached some people that hurt me but not anymore. i have let go of them and it feels so much better.

𖥻 12. books & manga ( jjk )

my mom is not the type to let me spend money on buying books ( for leisure reading ), much less a comic book. but i manifested her allowing me to buy 4 books + 1 manga volume! she even paid for them.

𖥻 13. delaying the start of my college, teachers & professors taking leaves, not getting scolded for submitting assignments late

my college was supposed to start from early june but i manifested a delay and it started from mid-july. i have manifested both school teachers and college professors taking leaves on my desired days.

𖥻 14. nice aura + compliments

i have a magnetic aura, people feel comfort around me and i get so many compliments about literally everything i do!

𖥻 15. quick deliveries of my orders

🤭🤭🤭

𖥻 16. winning an elocution competition

i was really worried because i only found about it a day before and some other contestants had been trained by their professors. i was full of nerves but still won the first rank! the judges said my content was unique and everything i did was perfect.

𖥻 17. kitten type beauty

manifested myself big upturned eyes with pretty lashes & a v-shaped face with smooth skin!

𖥻 18. cats loving me

call me a cat whisperer the way cats love me! i can easily befriend any cat!!! ˃ᴗ˂

𖥻 19. desired skincare products for cheap

i really wanted vitamin c serum and face cleanser and sometime later i saw an ad with an offer to get both for 1 rupee! crazy right?

𖥻 20. entering the void on several occasions.

i have entered the void several times albeit unaware. recently i've started becoming aware before snapping out of it!

masterlist. | notes – i've also manifested getting a merch of my bias. i got it from my best friend as gift but i didn't add it on the list because i didn't want break the perfect 20. also this list is as on 04 DEC 2023.

#‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ #‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ #manifest your dreams #neville goddard #manifesation #manifesting #loa blog #loa #void state #manifestation success story #loa success #success story #loa success story #061306 #manifest #manifest your reality #manifest your life #manifest your desires #dream life #how to manifest #affirmations #i am state #law of assumption #law of attraction #success stories loa #loassumption #loassblog

[eveledoze]

What do think about Lizzy ships, like V/Lizzy or Uzi/Lizzy?

hm i'm don't mind these couples, but i'm also not particularly interested

i think V/Lizzy looks like a good brotp to me, they're cute girls, it would be cool to see them hang out together more. probably, my favorite art with them is this piece from @ ghoulinfuschia ( hi sorry i hope you don’t mind that I attach your art :"") ), they are such adorable friends together, girly-girl and girl-maniac yeeaahh !! >x)))

give each murder-drone a worker-drone friend !!! (maybe J should get a worker-friend too *wink wink*)

i don't think i've seen much Lizzy/Uzi content, but i think they're funny together. i know some people don't like this ship because it's a bully/victim pairing, but for me it's probably not a big deal. my favorite couple in deltarune is literally Susie/Kris, although initially Susie bullied them and Kris was her victim, however they were able to become friends and now they are good buddies together !! maybe if Lizzy tried to find out more about Uzi, find out about why she behaves this way, shy she's aggressive and unfriendly to everyone, maybe she could understand and sympathize with her

#evele stuff #ask #ship ask #murder drones #murder drones ships

[blue-slxt]

The 3 Musketeers

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: This is my first 3 way smut I've ever written. This is also my first time writing Lo'ak. I hope it came out good. All characters are aged up.

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Navi!Reader x Lo'ak

Warnings: explicit smut, p in v, oral (m and f receiving), praise kink, soft dom reader, switch neteyam, creampie, threesome

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: You and the Sully boys have always been thick as thieves. Recently, your bond has evolved into something more.

You always had a close relationship with the Sully brothers. You and Neteyam were the same age so you grew up attached at the hip. Officially speaking, you were one day older. And naturally, Lo’ak followed the two of you everywhere because he thought you were both so cool. The three of you were like the “3 musketeers” as Jake would say. You didn’t really get the reference since it was an Earth thing, but you liked the sound of it. It meant that the 3 of you were inseparable and had something special. But no one knew just how special your bond had become recently.

It started off innocently enough. You were teasing the boys the way you typically would until a play fight for dominance turned into…something more. You and Neteyam had always had this strong, unspoken tension between you and, you would never admit this, but you had secretly always felt a strong attraction to him and his strong warrior persona. So it was a pleasant surprise when your play fight turned into a full blown make out session, complete with feeling each other up on the forest floor. The real surprise was when you noticed the bulge in Lo’ak’s loincloth. Him being so turned on by watching you get felt up was unexpected, but you found yourself enjoying being watched, which was even more unexpected. Before you knew it, you found yourself being shared between the two of them taking turns having their way with you.

The flashback is enough to distract you while sitting on the floor of your marui, sharpening your spears. You suddenly hear the flap of your home flip open and it’s Neteyam holding an array of food and snacks for you. “Hey, missed you at the celebration tonight. Figured I’d come bring you some snacks.” He said holding out the leaf with the food for you to take. You place it on the nearby table, “Aw, that was sweet. You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I figured I didn’t want you to miss out.” He explains rocking back and forth on his feet and his tail flicking back and forth which usually meant that he was up to something. “What’s up ‘Teyam? I know you too well. Plus, your tail betrays you.” You start to walk towards him with a sly smirk on your face. He averts his gaze from you, looking literally anywhere else. You can notice a slight blush rising to his face and the tips of his ears. ‘He’s so cute’, you think to yourself. Then, it his you. “You came because you just wanted to see me! Cuz you liiiiike me”, you tease poking him in the cheek. His blush deepens and he tries to maintain a ‘stern’ eye contact with you to tell you to quit it, but he can’t prevent his wandering eyes from trailing up and down your body.

“So what if I did?” Neteyam states, standing up a little straighter and puffing out his chest trying to assert confidence and dominance. You raise an eyebrow at him, “Well, somebody’s feeling bold today. That’s perfect...it’ll make it that much more fun to watch you beg.” You whisper the last part next to his ear and he clears his throat trying to not appear flustered.

You drag your fingertips down his arms and grab his wrist to lead him all the way into your marui. You walk him over towards your table and stand in front of him. You grab his chin to make sure he keeps his eyes on you, “You know you never need to find an excuse to see me. We can play together whenever you want, ‘Teyam”. He opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off by softly kissing his lips, still holding his chin. He relaxes into the kiss and you feel his calloused fingertips tracing your waist, wanting to pull you in closer. His touch sets your skin ablaze and your vision becomes hazed with hormones. You break the kiss and Neteyam’s eyes follow your lips desiring more connection.

You hop upon the table behind you and decide to have some real fun with him. “Kneel.” One simple command and he eagerly obliged. “Good boy”. You extended your long and slender leg towards him. He holds your leg, looking up at you the whole time. “You know what I like, so get to it if you want your reward”, you tell him in a stern tone.  Without any further instruction, Neteyam begins placing feather-light kisses up the length of your leg. Each peck sent shivers down your spine and straight to your pussy. The throbbing was intense, as if you had a second heartbeat in your body and you had just hiked the entire height of the Hallelujah mountains. When he reaches your inner thigh, he begins to place little kitten licks here and there making you bite your lip.

He comes face to face with your loincloth and his pupils dilate wanting to devour you whole. He moves his fingers to slide your loincloth to the side and you swat his hand away. “Naughty boy, you know the rules. You have to ask me nicely”, tease dripping through your words. He smirks up at you liking the way you always wanted to be in charge. He continues peppering kisses up and down the length of your leg, pleading between each kiss. “Please *kiss*, please yawne *kiss*, I want *kiss* to taste you *kiss*”. You loved the view of watching the mighty warrior Neteyam on his knees in front of you begging to bury his face between your thighs. The sight alone was enough to make you feel euphoric. Definitely something you would be storing in your mental vault for late nights when you were alone and in need of release.

 His eyes find yours again and you nod giving him permission. His ears perk up momentarily giving away his excitement. You can feel yourself practically dripping out of the fabric of your loincloth by the time you let him touch you. He slides the fabric to the side and exposes your glistening lips and dripping hole. His pupils fully blow wide open at the sight and he swallows back spit trying to keep from drooling down his chin. The sensation of his tongue finally making contact with your swollen clit makes you jolt with pleasure. He continues to lick and kiss and suck all of your juices as if it’s his last meal. Your head falls back in ecstasy, “mmh…fuck ‘Teyam” you moan. “You’re such a greedy boy…mm!” you tangle your fingers in his braids gripping them as it’s the only thing anchoring you to reality at the moment.

Suddenly, you hear the faint sounds of footsteps approaching. Your first instinct was going to be to pry yourself from Neteyam’s mouth and frame yourself as casually as possible, until you see Lo’ak appear in your entryway. Your eyes meet and he freezes. “Hey Lo’ak”, you manage to breath out between moans. Neteyam is unphased by his brother’s sudden interruption and continues feasting on you. Lo’ak temporarily snaps out of it long enough to close the flap of your marui behind him as he steps in.

You use one finger to gesture ‘come here’ to him. You can notice him already stiffening in his loincloth. He walks around to your side and you hook your finger under his necklace to pull his face to yours. You crash your lips onto his and he hungrily kisses you back. You grab his hand to guide it to one of your breasts. His hands were so big, he could essentially cover your entire breast with it. His fingers roughly grope your skin and he rolls your nipple between 2 of his fingers. Between all the stimulation on your body, you could feel a knot tensing in your core, threatening to snap at any second. You moan against Lo’ak’s kiss and pull away, “Fuck ‘Teyam….mmh I-I’m gonna….” You struggle to get your words out. Lo’ak pulled your face back to his in another kiss.

Neteyam continued his assault on your most sensitive bit and sucked on your clit completely driving you over the edge. The knot deep within you snaps and you close your legs around Neteyam’s head still gripping his hair in your hand. Lo’ak pulls away from the kiss to watch your face contort in pleasure and then bliss out after riding out your high. You can notice out of the corner of your vision that he’s stroking himself through his cloth with his free hand. You want to swat his hand away and make him ask you permission, but he swats your hand away instead and trails kisses up and down your neck, nipping at the spot just below your earlobe. Lo’ak always was a lot more difficult to tame than Neteyam, but you liked that quality in him. Neteyam finally releases your clit and your legs fall limp on the table. You use your grip on his hair to pull his head back to see his chin shining in the light. It drips down his neck and you feel the fire inside of you reignite at the sight of him covered in your juices.

“Oh, you’re such a pretty boy, Neteyam.”

You finally find the strength to stand and walk around to the other side of the table. Both of the brothers’ eyes are watching you intently waiting to see what you’re up to. You untie the top that just barely covers your chest and step out of your loincloth leaving yourself completely exposed. You lie down on your stomach across the table and hold your head up in your hands looking between them. “Well, don’t keep me waiting. Off with them.”, You order. Neteyam and Lo’ak look at each other and quickly give a nod of agreement before removing their own cloths. They were both indescribably hard and oozing precum out of their tips. Neteyam had a good inch or two on his brother, but Lo’ak was definitely thicker. Your eyes go wide with excitement and your tail is swaying like crazy behind you. You can’t decide who you want to be inside of you first.

You tell both of them “come here” and they approach your face. You grab Neteyam in your hand and let a long trail of spit flow from your mouth to his tip and use it as lubrication to start stroking him. The feeling sets a fire in his chest and his ears fall flat against his head. Meanwhile, you open up wide for Lo’ak to enter your mouth. His size is massive, but your determination was greater. His slides in slowly, wanting to feel your tongue across every passing inch until his was all the way in and touching your throat. He sucks in a sharp breath and throws his head back enjoying every second of you. You bob your head up and down on his length while making sure to continue to stroke Neteyam at the same pace. Grunts and moans fill the silence in your marui and you thank Eywa that everyone is at the celebration tonight, because otherwise they would definitely hear you.

You pop off Lo’ak and leave a long string of saliva connecting your lips and his tip. You can see the longing in his face from the loss of friction he so desperately craved. You gesture for him to go behind you and his ears perked up immediately. Eyes full of lust and hunger. He practically runs around to the back of you and now you take Neteyam into your mouth. He always tasted so sweet and it drove you mad. Lo’ak takes a second to admire your still dripping pussy, “shiiit…”, and he knows he can’t contain himself anymore. He lines the head up with your opening and slams into you in one swift motion making you jump and yelp at the sudden intrusion. He’s always so eager. He can’t even wait for you to adjust to him inside of you, he needs this friction now.

He starts pumping into you at a fast, but steady pace. The tinge of pain you felt in the beginning is completely gone and replaced with a greedy desire for him to fill you up. The lust filled haze causes you to suck on Neteyam even harder. At this point, now he’s bucking his hips forward into your face. Each thrust from Lo’ak pushes you further down onto Neteyam and vice versa. Neteyam’s length in your throat leaves you no space to breathe and you gag at the constant poking, but he doesn’t let up. You look up at him eyes full of tears and drool falling from your lips. You look a sloppy mess, but he loves it. He absolutely relishes in the sight of you being a mess on his dick.

“Oh, you’re such a pretty girl, yawne”, he moaned imitating your comment to him just moments ago. “You look so pretty swallowing my dick”.

Lo’ak chimes in from behind, “fuck, I know I’ll never get tired of this pussy. Mmh! It’s gripping me just right..”. It’s all you can do just to manage a weak ‘mhm’ from around Neteyam’s shaft. The vibration makes him twitch in your throat. His eyes squeeze shut and he grabs your head for even more leverage to push inside you. At the same time, Lo’ak is digging his fingers into your hips to push as deep as physically possible into you from behind. You can feel your whole body on fire from the overstimulation. Lo’ak is the first to speak up, “Shit, I’m gonna..” and Neteyam says “Me too, bro”. You can feel your own high approaching and it makes you feel like your body is coming undone.

You don’t know what possessed you in the moment, but you lock your ankles together around Lo’ak and intertwine your fingers around Neteyam so that neither boy can pull out of you. You want every single drop that they have in them. You feel Neteyam release first. He ruts himself all the way into your mouth until your nose is touching his pelvis. His thick seed shoots straight down your throat and you happily swallow all of it. Then, you feel Lo’ak with two hard, sloppy thrusts pump everything inside of you that he has. The heat is enough to drive you to your own finish. Your body convulses between the two of them and their hips stutter in their pumps riding out their own highs.

Once you all come down, both brothers pull out of you. You can feel Lo’ak’s seed dripping out of your hole and down your leg. You fall limp across the table with your chest heaving up and down trying to catch a decent breath. The boys walk around to the front of you and stroke your face lovingly. You let out a sigh of relief as you slowly regain your senses. And just when you think you have regained some strength in your body Lo’ak turns to Neteyam and simply asks, “so….switch?” and a mischievous grin slides across both of their faces before turning back to you. You already know this is going to be a loooong night. But there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

#avatar #avatar the way of water #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #avatar fic #awow #neteyam x na'vi!reader #atwow #atwow neteyam #avatar twow #avatar neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #avatar smut #lo'ak #loak #loak x reader #loak smut #loak sully #atwow loak #loak fic #avatar loak #loak fanfiction #awow smut

[backtothefanfiction]

One Last Date For Christmas | PART ONE: An Arrangement At The Christmas Party

Summary: Another year, The same Christmas party and holiday hook up... or is it?

Warnings: 18+ Only, Smut (oral M & F receiving, p in v, mild dirty talk with Christmas references), Mentions of Cancer/Death, Fake Dating, Fuck Buddies to Lovers, this is basically Hallmark/Netflix Christmas movie vibes

Word Count: 5.9K+

A/N: Okay, so I've been feeling crumby lately and really need a boost, so although we took a poll and it was decided this whole story would go up as one piece at the same time, I need the motivation and have had a crumby week mentally and need a boost. So here is part 1. If you do enjoy PLEASE LEAVE ME FEEDBACK!!! I am like Tinkerbell, if I don't get attention I will die haha. But seriously my mental health needs the kind words for energy so please take a moment to share some if you like this part and not just like it. Anyway... ENJOY!!!

Another year, another fancy corporate business party Peter was obliged to attend due to his job. It had become such a regular routine over these last 7 years J. Jonah Jameson didn’t even bother asking if he was available to come anymore, just automatically emailed over the details so he could attend. 

Peter couldn’t completely complain. He got free drinks and fancy food for the night. I mean in reality he got to act just like any other guest, despite the camera he had around his neck for the night. And instead of paying to be there, he was instead getting paid to be there. Sure it was only an extra couple hundred bucks, but at this time of year it really did make all the difference.

Being a freelance photographer only made him so much a year, especially when the rest of his time was spent moonlighting as the local superhero which didn’t pay a thing. Not that he couldn’t have made some money as a public figure. A couple grand here to endorse a few products. A donation of thanks or two from business owners or generous members of the community there. All of which had been options that he had turned down. That wasn’t who Spider-Man was and definitely not who he wanted Spider-Man to be. And so at almost 40 years old, this was Peter’s life.

No wife. No kids. Not even a pet, because he couldn’t commit to spending enough time at home in his tiny run down box of a studio apartment, to look after it. He sometimes brought girls home, he did have needs after all, but no matter how interested they had been in him, he’d never let himself get attached. After Gwen he would never get attached again.

The only one to ever even come close was you. He had met you 5 years ago now at this very event. Just like him, you always felt like a fish out of water at these parties, despite always being on the guest list. Your Father was one of the big business benefactors of the party and ever since the divorce you had become his regular plus one. 

Just like Peter you were a chronic singleton, always too busy traveling for work to be able to sustain an actual relationship, despite your Mother trying her best every time you were home to set you up with some poor soul. She just didn’t get it. You didn’t believe in marriage anymore as most of them ended in divorce, your parents marriage and even two of your Uncle’s marriages prime examples alone; and as for children? You had decided at the age of 13 you wouldn’t have kids and no matter how many times your Mother, Grandmother or Aunt Sarah told you, you would change your mind, you hadn’t. If anything the birth of your brother’s kids had only cemented things more. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t like your niece and nephew, you were just always glad you could pass them back off to your brother and his wife after a few hours of their shrieking play and demands for cookies and ice cream, while fighting over what to watch on the telly. No, you had never wanted kids and you never would. You had however always wanted to get a cat, but until you changed jobs or just simply didn’t have to travel for work anymore, that would just remain a lovely little dream for the future.

Peter always arrived to the party early. After all, he was getting paid by the hour, so the longer he was there taking photos, the more money he could claim from the Daily Bugle finance department on Monday. He aimlessly wandered around taking photos of the venue and the table settings and the odd entering guest as people arrived. He helped himself to horderves off of shiny platters and the odd glass of champagne as he worked, seamlessly floating through the crowd, formally stopping people every now and again for more posed group shots, other times just taking candid photos of people mingling. He took the occasional booming order from J. Jonah Jameson, “Hey Parker! Make sure you get a shot of me with the Mayor. Parker! Come here and take a photo of me and Mrs Perez! Parker! Take a picture of me and my wife!”

“Yes, sir.” Peter would respond with a smile. Usually you were here by now to laugh at the way he followed the head of the Daily Bugle around like his lap dog, but as of yet you still hadn’t arrived. Then a horrible thought crossed Peter’s mind, ‘what if you weren’t coming this year.’ He had seen your Father walking about, had even taken a couple of photos of him with various business partners and city officials, but as of yet there had been no sign of you.

Peter checked his watch again hoping you were just running late, but the closer it got to 8.30pm and the start of the meal portion of the night, he started to give up hope. He knew you were busy, always flying between Tokyo, Milan, London and Paris for work; but you were always usually back home for the holidays. He was just about to check his watch again when you came through the door like a whirlwind in red.

He watched you like a Spider sizing up his prey as you made a beeline for your Father. You gave him a rushed greeting and an apologetic kiss to the cheek, before you followed him and the rest of his group to their table, placed closer to the small makeshift stage that had been erected at one end of the long window lined room. He kept his focus on you as you took your seat, your father pushing your chair in for you as you turned to greet one of the other women at the table a couple seats away from you. That was, until J. Jonah Jameson’s booming voice called him away again.

“Parker! You’re over here with us!” He barked as he ushered Peter over to a table on the other side of the room. He was just able to lock eyes with you and give you a friendly smile before he took his seat. “I’ve sat you on this side so you can get the wife’s good side.” Jameson continued to say.

There was a couple of speeches and awards before the food was served. Peter was pleased to find that he was in fact in a good vantage point in which he could take pictures of the stage this year without having to move. He also had a clear sightline to you too, his lens unconsciously moving in your direction every few shots then back again.

Peter had chosen the steak and hasselback potatoes for his dinner with a rich chocolate pudding for dessert. When he finished his meal, he dismissed himself from the table, as he traditionally did, to go around the tables and take a few more candid shots of people before taking a break at the bar. 

“I’ll take an old fashioned, please.” Your familiar voice suddenly came from beside him. “I’m sorry I was late.” you said as you leaned into him as if conspiratorially. “My flight got delayed.”

“Where were you coming from this time?” Peter asked as he took a sip from his own drink.

“Boston.” You said with a sigh. It definitely hadn’t been the answer he was expecting and his quizzical look at you said as much. “I was visiting my Mother. Her and her new partner Brad moved there a few months back to be closer to his grandchildren.” You explained.

“I’m guessing that means you got away with not being set up on a blind date this visit.” Peter fished, knowing your Mother’s habits and routines well after these last 5 years of annual hookups.

“You’d think so.” You said as you took a sip of your stiff drink, just to emphasize the drama of it all. “Turns out Maggie’s teacher is single and available.” you say with mock enthusiasm.

“Maggie?” Peter questions.

“One of Brad’s grandchildren.” you fill in with another sigh and eyebrow raise. “I wish she’d just give it a rest, you know?” You pause as you take another sip of your drink before you tell him, “I’m thinking of coming up with a fake boyfriend just to get her off my back. But then I know she’ll be all like ‘when do I get to meet him?’” you say doing an exaggerated impersonation of your Mother’s voice.

“Yeah, I think about doing the same thing with Aunt May sometimes, but I’d hate lying to her.” Peter confided.

“How is your Aunt?” you ask. The one blessing of only seeing each other once a year meant there were always things for you both to talk about and catch up on.

You watch as his face falls, his eyes turning sad as he looks into his drink. “Umm, they’re not good actually. We found out this year she has stage 4 breast cancer. The doctor said this is probably gonna be her last Christmas.” He struggles to look at you.

“Peter, I’m so sorry.” you say, mustering up as much empathy as you can as your hand instinctively comes to rub at his back. “Is there nothing they can do?”

“They said they could try a few different treatments but it wasn’t guaranteed to work and May ultimately decided that… Well she said that she’s lived to a good age and if this is how she is meant to go, this is how she is meant to go.” He paused, blinking hard as he continued to stare at the liquid in his glass. “She said I was a grown man and didn’t need her anymore.” He let out a small unsatisfied chuckle that wreaked of denial, before he finally looked at you again. “I just… I just feel guilty, you know?”

“What for?” You asked him.

“It’s just. I know she was always holding onto this hope that I’d meet someone. That I’d end up finding someone and settling down. Live a life like her and Ben did.”

“But that’s not what you want from your life?” you question him now unsure, as you finally sit yourself on the bar stool next to him. “I mean, if you wanted that, isn’t that what you would have done? Gone out, met a girl. Settled down. You can’t be someone you’re not just to please others.”

“But it was what I wanted.” he suddenly confides. “And that’s why I feel guilty because she knows that. When I first introduced her to Gwen, I said, ‘that’s the girl I’m going to marry Aunt May.’” he says with gusto, like he’s saying it exactly how he had said it to her, before his body deflates again.

“But things change. People change. We’re allowed to change Peter.”

“I know, but… she just, I know she never gave up hope.”

“You know what they say about hope?” You say.

“It breeds eternal misery,” he bristles.

“No.” You chastise. “It’s like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night.”

Peter’s brow furrows as his head turns back to you. “Did you just quote Star Wars to me?”

“Princess Leia.” you smile.

“God I love you.” he says casually with a smile.

“I know.” you continue to beam back before you raise your glass towards him. “For Aunt May?”

“For Aunt May.” he agrees before clinking your glass with his own.

You both creep away a little before midnight, catching a cab back to your apartment. You always went back to your apartment. Peter said it was because he wanted you to be comfortable and said it was more homelier than his place, but the truth was, Peter was ashamed to take you back to his own apartment. It looked like a dingy run down squat or some really dodgy student housing in comparison to your place. 

He didn’t want to kid himself, he knew he was definitely punching above his weight a little when it came to you, not because he necessarily thought he was ugly, but more simply because you had more money than him. You’d never made him feel inferior for it. In fact you’d always wanted to help him by offering to put him in contact with some galleries so he could get more of his work out there. Maybe make some extra cash by selling some of his photos as art for the rich and wealthy, not just to a local paper, but Peter had never had the guts to take you up on the offer. It would make him feel indebted to you and throw the balance of your relationship off even more than it somewhat already was.

“Did you choose red because it’s my favourite color or just for the festivities?” He nibbled on your ear as his fingers ran across the velvet skirt of the dress, dragging it up to your thigh as he pressed himself against your back.

You hadn’t bothered turning on any other lights than the Christmas tree, before you stopped to take a moment to look out your window at the city. Christmas in New York was your favorite time of year. Every year to mark the occasion, you would go down to Rockefeller Plaza, grab a hot chocolate and watch as they turned on the lights. As kids you would go ice skating there. Less so now you were adults, your brother and his own kids had their own tradition of skating in Central Park on Christmas Eve, but some years you would still partake.

“I chose it for the season.” You sighed, your body relaxing back into him, head resting on his shoulder as he kissed his way down your neck.

“My festive little elf.” He teased as his fingers continued to work up the hem of your dress until they could reach your panties, which you had in fact bought new and chosen with Peter in mind.

“I even brought presents.” You plaid along teasingly.

Your breathing hitched slightly as the pads of his fingers dragged over your lace covered clit.

“Really? For me?” You could feel him smiling into the exposed skin of your collarbone.

“Mhmm.” You hum. “Maybe, you should unwrap me.” You tease back.

“Mmm.” He hums back deeply in delight as he turns you around to face him. The hand that was just ghosting at your centre, now wraps firmly around the back of your neck, as he smashes your rouge stained lips into his. 

His other hand begins pawing at the velvety fabric of your dress again before he’s pulling his face away from you, his grin growing too big and you can’t help but give a satisfying smile back as you notice how your lipstick has transferred from your lips to his, marking him as yours for the evening. Your hand reaches for his and you begin taking steps backwards, pulling him in the direction of your bedroom and awaiting bed.

Your room is a slight mess from your hasty packing before you left for Boston and your equally hasty unpacking upon your return. You’d just had enough time to get home and get changed, rushing your make up and hair, before you left to go to the party. Your suitcase lay open on the floor, some of the contents lay spilling out from where you had hunted around for your makeup bag. The little pink bag from Victoria Secret sat upside down on the floor beside it. Peter spies it the moment he enters the room.

He feigns shock, “Did you buy this for me?” He teases as he picks up the bag.

“Don’t get too excited Parker, they were having a sale.”

“I don’t care.” He says with a boyish grin, despite his 39 years of age. “Come here and let me see.”

You smile at him as you begin to step closer to him before calling out into the room, “Alexa, turn on mood lighting.”

His eyebrows raise as a lamp in the corner of the room turns on, illuminating your bedroom in a magenta hue. “Mood lighting huh?”

“Do you wanna be able to see your Christmas gift or not?” You sass back with a hand on your hip.

“I mean, I’ve always thought of you as my Christmas present, regardless of what you wear.” He says as his fingers begin to grab for you again and pull you into him.

“Next year I won’t bother then.”

“Oh no, you’ve made it a thing now. I’m gonna expect this, every- single- year- from now on.” He says between kisses across your cheek and down your neck and upper chest. You begin to giggle and shriek in delight as his lips gently nibble at your skin. “Mmm.  Come on then. Let’s see what you got for me.” He says ripping himself away from you so you have the space to reach behind you for the zipper to your dress. 

The dress begins to relax its hold on your body, slowly exposing the black strapless lace bra to Peter before you slide the dress down the rest of your body to show off the matching lacey bikini briefs. You carefully step out of the puddle that now is the red velvet dress on your floor, your ankles only wobbling slightly as you still stand in your heels for him to take in the full sight.

He pauses for a moment silently taking you in before he gives a small nod. “Yes. Yes, this will do. Excuse me a moment while I go and write my thank you letter to San-“

“Peter.” You whine.

“Oh come on, don’t be bratty with me now.” He says jokingly as he steps closer and wraps you in his arms again.

“I thought you liked it when I was bratty.” You joke back as your arms wrap around his neck.

“Nope. You become completely intolerable and insufferable and…” You roll your eyes as he continues to list words, but nonetheless, begin to snake your arms from around his neck, trailing them down his chest as you begin to get down on your knees before him.

You begin to work open the button of his jeans, freeing his semi hard cock from its confines. He only stops his fake monologue about you acting like a brat when you take his length into your mouth and his hand involuntarily reaches out for the side of your head as he sighs. 

The only sounds that fill the room now are his small gasps and moans and your saliva slick lips around his cock. One of your hands braces itself on his thigh, whilst the other works the rest of his shaft your mouth won’t reach.

You pull off him with a sloppy pop of your lips and Peter groans before you begin to circle the tip of his cock with your tongue and he jumps away from you with sensitivity, suddenly worried he’d blow his load too soon if you continue like that. It makes you giggle.

His fingers reach around the flesh of your bicep and he pulls you up off the floor before pulling you into him, his head nuzzling into your neck, lips and teeth nibbling and teasing at your skin and driving you crazy. He’d worked out that you liked that on the second Christmas you had slept together. He loved the way it made you sigh but also giggle and shriek when the sensation grew too much.

“Ahhh Peter.” you cried out with a high pitched moan. 

He reluctantly broke himself away from you and the intoxicating smell of your favorite perfume so you could latch your mouth onto his, a satisfied smile struggling to be contained on your lips. He can’t help but smile back.

“Peter!” you shriek and giggle as he reaches around to pick you up and drop you back onto the covers of your bed.

Your hands get lost in his hair as he begins kissing his way down your chest. Your stomach involuntarily twitches as his lips move across it and the way his hands reach for your hips to forcefully hold you in place sends you reeling, a wave of arousal soaking your panties. His lips skip over your underwear, instead kissing at the inside of your thigh as his hands begin to relax on your hips, his fingers curling under the waistband of your underwear, ready to pull them down.

As he removes you of your underwear, he also takes the opportunity to rid himself of the flattering black long sleeved top he’d been wearing all evening. The removal of his shirt reveals a silver necklace that had been hiding beneath the shirt and the way the chain hangs off his neck has you biting your lip. It is so rare to see a man wear jewelry so you never realized the effect the sight had on you before, but there's something about the connotations and hidden meaning to it, his choice and confidence to wear it, makes you want to rub your thighs together in want. 

His fingers are suddenly teasing at your entrance though and its almost enough to take the edge off, or it would be if his finger hadn’t stopped at the first knuckle of his middle finger. You realize he’s only done it so he can spread the arousal that was already leaking out of your cunt around between your folds and across your clit so he can then go in and lick it all off. Your head falls back into the pillows of your bed as you sigh out his name in relief.

You can feel the focus he has radiating off of him without even looking as he begins to expertly lick up from your entrance, swirl his tongue around your clit and then back down again as he draws moans, ever increasing in volume, from your lips. You found out very early on in your yearly dalliances that he was an expert with that tongue, making you cum not once, not twice, but three times just from his tongue alone, when you told him no one had ever actually gotten you off that way before.

You could feel your first climax of the night building low within you, your muscles growing tight, clit growing extra sensitive as your fingers tangled themselves into his hair, encouraging him and guiding him and not allowing him to pull away until you finished. The pressure of his tongue grew firmer and you ground your clit down against it until that tight thread within you snapped, your hips stuttering as pleasure rippled through you. He held tightly onto you, lapping up everything you gave him and helping you ride it out until you were actively pushing him away from you. He gave your bare thighs a small satisfactory slap as he gave you his smug tight lipped  smile that seemed to say ‘another happy customer’ and you couldn’t help but let out a little giggle before turning your head and trying to hide the ear to ear smile that was on your face.

You were able to compose yourself as he shifted from the bed to shuck himself fully off the rest of his clothes, his jeans joining your red dress in a puddle on the floor, before he carefully lifted the necklace off over his head and placed it on your bedside table. You shifted yourself over on the bed as he came down to rest beside you, his hand reaching out to pull your face to him as he gave you a kiss before he encouraged you to climb up on top of him.  Your lips didn’t part from his as you straddled his waist, your cunt involuntarily rubbing itself along his hard length as your tongues intermingled with one another.

His fingers reached round to grab a hold of your ass cheeks, squeezing the flesh as he encouraged you to grind down harder. You moaned and gasped against his lips at the drag of your clit across his skin. Your open mouth before him allowed him to reach out for your lower lip, sucking it into his mouth making you moan louder, before he began to trail kisses down your chin and neck. You closed your eyes, getting lost in the feeling and the sounds of your own voice. It sent a new flood of arousal between your legs and you could feel Peter grinning against your skin as you worked your slick over his length.

You paused only long enough to reach over to your chest of drawers, pulling a box of condoms out of the second drawer. The position allowed Peter to attach his mouth over your breasts, his teeth biting at them over the lace bra. You reached behind you to unclasp it and take it off as you sat upright, Peter’s hands resting patiently on the tops of your thighs as he waited for you to then open the condom. You held out the torn open packet for him to take the condom and start rolling it down onto his length as you reached back over the side of the bed to drop the wrapper in the bin. 

You shifted your legs back slightly as you recentred yourself, one hand balancing on the bed, the other on his bare chest as he lined himself up with your entrance. He glided the tip of his cock against your folds, covering the tip of his cock with your slick before he began to encourage you back onto it. The slow fill of his cock inside you had you letting out a long sigh of satisfaction, your eyes falling closed, head tilting back as you savored the feeling.

It had been a slow year. Despite a brief hook up with a guy over the summer after a night out with friends and a quick tinder hookup in your hotel in Rome (where the guy spoke barely a lick of English), your only companion had been your old reliable rabbit toy. You’d be lying if you hadn’t been counting down the days to tonight the whole time you had been visiting your Mother. When your flight had been delayed, it was the thought of missing out on your one good and guaranteed fuck of the year that had stressed you out. Now it all seemed worth it.

Peter started slowly, his hips pushing up into you at an agonizing pace as he guided you down and your hips back with every thrust, the contours of his cock dragging agonizingly slowly across every sensitive spot inside you, working you up gradually to another earth shattering climax. Your body bowed over him as you let out small gasps of praise into his forehead, your fingers gripping tightly into the sheets either side of his head. You felt one of his hands run soothingly up your back and it sent shivers down your spine that only added to the sensation building in between your legs.

“Peter.” you sighed against him, as you pressed your forehead into his, your eyes closed in concentration as you chased that feeling inside you.

“What is it? What do you need?” his voice gently calls to you as he moves the hand that was caressing your back round behind your neck, pulling your lips down to his for a kiss.

“More. I need more.” you say equally as gently back into his lips. 

You feel his head give a small nod in acknowledgment before he seals the deal with a kiss, as his thrusts begin to grow quicker and firmer in pace. It makes him hit something deep inside you that has you crying out. Your eyes fly open, desperate to lock onto his. He looks up at you with such beauty and gratitude. It makes you want to kiss him again and you do, your tongue licking deeply and slowly into his mouth in rhythm with his thrusts.

Your thighs shudder slightly as the sensation between your legs changes and you know your cumming again but the feeling of his cock moving between your legs doesn’t stop. It works you through the high and he still doesn’t stop. Instead his thrusts grow fast as he searches for his own release. You brace yourself, holding yourself over him as he just takes what he wants. If he holds out long enough you think you can get out one more orgasm of your own.

You balance yourself on one arm as your other hand reaches between your legs, swirling rapidly at your clit as you push yourself against his length, feeling every sensation of his rapid thrust. Peter grunts in response at the sensation of your fluttering cunt and it forces him to find one final push, his hips sputtering only slightly before he increases his angle and speed one last time, then he’s embracing you.

His arms wrap tightly around you as your final climax soaks his cock. Your head is buried into his neck as you try to shut out the overstimulation for just a few more strokes of his cock before he stills, his length pulsating as he finishes, only adding to the sensitivity between your legs making you squirm. He’s quick to push you off him as you do, his own sensitivity unable to take the feeling.

You both pause breathing deeply as you come down before he gives you a small tap and you flop onto your side on the bed. He quickly gets up, kicking his legs out to disperse the blood around them as his cock softens. You close your eyes to revel in the last dregs of your orgasm as he goes to your adjoining ensuite to sort himself out.

He takes a little longer than usual and you begin to frown, but then you hear the flush of the toilet and the door opening and you settle. You quickly get up, flashing him a smile as you hobble to your bathroom with legs like a newborn calf. Usual he’d let out a proud little chuffing laugh but this year he doesn’t.

When you return to see him sat on the side of the bed in his underwear, his fingers reaching to fix the necklace he had taken off back over his head and around his neck, you realize he looks distracted. “What is it? What’s wrong?” you ask him as you climb over the bed to your rightful side and slip between the covers.

His head turns, eyebrows raising as if he’s only just noticed you’re back in the room. “Huh?” he says. “Oh, nothing.”

“Really?” you say as he shuffles himself round to face you, put he doesn’t get under the covers. Peter doesn’t sleep over. He stays for a debrief and a chat for maybe another hour, some years two, but always leaves to return to his own apartment and bed.

“It’s just,” he says as he places an arm under his head as he gets himself comfortable, “I was just thinking about what you said earlier.”

“What did I say earlier?” you reply as you shift into a similar position to his, facing him. You look like two kids at a slumber party who have moved so close to each other so you can whisper really quietly and not disturb the others who are sleeping.

“About pretending to have a boyfriend to get your Mom off your case.”

You frown at him, “Yeah, but it’d never work because she’d want to meet him.”

“Okay, yeah.” he says, but his tone isn’t one of defeat, it instead says ‘wait, hear me out’. “But what if you had someone to take home and pretend to be said boyfriend?”

You’re still confused. “What are you trying to get at here Parker?” You suddenly sit up, placing distance between the two of you as a realization hits you. “Wait, this isn’t you asking me out or trying to be my boyfriend is it? You know I don’t really do the whole dating thing. We have our arrangement and that's-”

“No. NO. Would you just hear me out.” he speaks over you and cuts you off as he too sits up defensively. “Look, I just thought we could come to some sort of arrangement.” You’re silent as he pauses and takes a deep breath and you wait for him to continue. “Okay.” he says, his hands folding in his lap, “This is probably gonna be my Aunt May’s last Christmas.” he says and the implication of his words make you bristle. He struggles to look at you, but your eyes remain fixed on him so he know that you are listening and paying attention, even if his words are starting to make you uncomfortable. “I don’t want her to die thinking I’m gonna spend the rest of my life alone, you know? I mean,” he sighs, collecting his thoughts before he continues, “I don’t want her to die without hope.”

“Okay.” you acknowledge quietly as you follow his words.

“So I was thinking, what if- just for this christmas,” he emphasizes, “what if we pretend to you know, actually date. Come the New Year we go our separate ways as normal, no strings attached, but you know, just to get our families off our backs so we can live our chosenly single lives.” He screws up his face a little at the word chosenly, which he’s all but sure he’s made up but figures he’s gotten his point across.

“So, we pretend to date for the holidays to get our parents off our backs?” you frown, checking you’ve got his proposal right.

“Yeah. You’d come for Christmas Eve dinner with my Aunt and I’ll…” his voice trails off as he wracks his brain for an equal solution for you.

“You’ll come to Boston with me for my Mother’s New Years party.” You fill in for him.

He hesitates a second realizing he’d actually need to travel and stay with you and your family to make things even on your side of things, but the thought of letting May die thinking he’s going to be lonely forever, has his stomach turning more so he hastily agrees. “Fine, but-” he interjects, knowing a single day with his Aunt for a supposedly 2-3 day trip with your family isn’t a fair exchange, “if my Aunt is still with us in February, you have to stop by on Valentines day.”

“I thought you just said we go our separate ways come January.” You respond.

“Yes, but one meal with my Aunt in comparison to a multi day trip to Boston is hardly an equal-”

“Fine. Fine.” You concede with your hands raised.

He relaxes slightly as you come to an agreement. “You wanna shake hands on it or something?” he offers. You roll your eyes, your fingers reaching for the pillow you’d pulled into your lap to nervously fiddle with instead, picking it up and throwing it at him. “Hey.” he jokingly exclaims as he holds his hands up to catch the pillow before it hits him in the face. “Is that any way to treat your new boyfriend?” he deadpans.

“Uuuhhgg.” you scoff back with another eye roll but you can’t help the tiny smirk that creeps into the corner of your mouth.

I'm going to upload the other parts of this mini series on the dates that match up with the story (Christmas Eve, New Years Eve), if you want to be added to the list below, please put it in writing. All current tags have been taken from likes, reblogs or comments from other posts about this series, if you wish to be removed, just let me know. (I had a few more names who liked posts but it wouldn't let me tag you, apologies, I'm not sure how to fix that but I hope this finds you anyway.) Once again if you did like this, please don't just like it, respond with some words of your own to give me a boost.

@sincericida @tarzinnia @raindropsandteaandtears @xenasolos @dil3mma @ms-wild-card-56 @shivani1902

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #andrew!peter parker #peter parker imagine #spider-man #andrew!peter x reader #tasm!peter parker #tasm peter parker x reader #Christmas Peter Parker story #tasm peter parker imagine #christmas imagine #holidate #fake dating #Peter Parker smut #one last date for christmas #andrew peter parker #andrew garfield peter parker

[wanderingaldecaldo]

I've been posting Ros and Val without any context or backstory because my brain has been going brrrrrrrr too much to write anything proper besides drabbles, and a couple of unrelated oneshots. I'm still figuring out their story but I've discovered some of the major beats and wanted to get it down for my future self, as well as anyone who's following along at home.

Their story follows PL fairly closely with a few places where I took some creative license. Val and Ros hook up at the safe house, and it takes Reed a little longer to get everything organized, giving them a few days together in Dogtown before Ros is spirited back to D.C.

Lemme just wipe off your cheek real quick...

Val needs family. She doesn't know it, but that's why she gravitated to Jackie and Lupe. It's why she calls Panam for help in her canon. Rosalind represents family in a different way. She's the mother who knows what's best, who cares about "her" people, and Val doesn't realize how much she needs that attachment. Several times during the rescue, Ros displays affection and concern for her—when the building collapses before the Chimera fight, during the Relic malfunction—and combined with the mission to keep her safe, it triggers something deep inside V, a loyalty that she doesn't understand.

Rosalind, on the other hand, just lost a lot of crucial advisors. While we don't know who was on board aside from So Mi, we can guess that there were high ranking staffers, such as communications, security, and campaign, plus her own personal assistant and Secret Service agent. She has no one. She is vulnerable with V, admitting that she doesn't know what to do, that she has no one; and V's response is to remind her that she's there, and she's determined to get her out of the situation. Loyalty is something Ros values highly, and here is this merc tasked with saving her, but who sees the situation as more than just another gig; who has become personally invested in protecting her. It's intoxicating to have someone who's unflinchingly loyal to you, and who has seen the real you.

Once they reach the safe house, things escalate because of the mix of all those emotions, plus all the adrenaline and endorphins from the escape. It becomes more than just a hookup, but because of their situations (Ros's, let's be real), they both know it's an untenable relationship. Their time is bittersweet because of that knowledge.

Just squint a little and the Dogtown apartment isn't that bad!

Continued after the cut...

Later after the events of PL, they stay in touch, and there is affection between them still. Ros reaches out by text for fashion advice on the magazine shoot. They both agree that V isn't the right person for the job, but Ros knows she'll at least be honest. Later the acting campaign manager thinks having Ros take photos with the merc who saved her life in Dogtown would be good ad material, so Ros recruits V to the photo shoot.

Note: add at least one eagle for the "real" patriots

V uses the photo shoot to her advantage and successfully lobbies for the dinner date Rosalind promised. They have it that evening at Embers, as it's easy to secure for VIPs. Ros wants to know what V expects, because surely she can't think there is hope for a real relationship; but V wants whatever she can have. At this point, she knows she's crazy about Rosalind, while Ros is in denial herself over how much she cares about V.

“Where do you think this will go, V?” Rosalind's voice is soft and melodic. She doesn’t know, doesn’t care. She needs something, will take anything. “Hopin’ the first stop is my bedroom,” V says and gives her cockiest grin, but it quickly fades. “After that? Kinda up to you, yeah?”

They spend the night together and Ros decides to give it a try. They officially start seeing each other, but in secret and only when Ros has reason to visit NC. The new mayor provides a good excuse, so Ros visits under cover of extending diplomatic ties, and providing an opportunity for date night with her merc.

It's good to have powerful friends, like the new mayor of Night City.

After a few months of this, they slip up and the media catch wind that the President is spending time with the merc who saved her life in Dogtown. The campaign manager wants to use the media frenzy by spinning it as Rosalind recruiting V as her personal bodyguard, while still encouraging theories about their secret romantic relationship so the screamsheets will go crazy over it.

Eventually people are gonna notice when AF1 keeps showing up in NC airspace.

At that point V is ready to upend her life for Ros. She agrees to the plan and moves to D.C. The media eats it all up, and suddenly the only thing the NUS cares about is whether the President and her merc are fucking (they are). Eventually they transition to openly dating, and the President's approval rating shoots up by having a partner who humanizes her and makes her more likeable.

#rosalind myers #president rosalind myers #madam president #valerie vermilion #streetkid!val #myers x v #myers x fem v #milfguard #aka president's merc au #wlw ship #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 photomode #cp2077edit #cyberpunk photomode #videogame photography #my screens #cyberpunk 2077 phantom liberty #phantom liberty #phantom liberty spoilers #shippy sunday #shippy everyday #hands #val lore #streetkid val things #rosalind thoughts #the one of her scar while val is kissing her hand 🥴 #but also them on the dirty mattress 🥺 #❤️💙 #long post #myers for president 2078

[good-yonji-au]

So I discovered this AU about 5 hours ago and it has me in a chokehold. Your Yonji is a precious bean and he must be protected at all times, and Sanji being a big brother is everything I didn't even know I wanted. <3 I hope you don't mind the influx of questions I have after going through the whole tag.

So speaking of Sanji being a big brother, have he and Yonji ever hugged? If so, what prompted it? Is Yonji more touchy-feely than Sanji in general, or are they both pretty touch-averse?

How does Yonji fight? Did he develop his own style of fighting after leaving Germa 66, much like Sanji did, or does he still fight the way he did when working under Judge? Is he still really good at fighting, or does he easily become a nonfunctional, overwhelmed mess, bombarded on all sides with everyone's heightened and fraught emotions?

Does Yonji's prosthetic arm have attachments and hidden weapons? How does he upkeep it? Does he know how it works decently enough do to it himself, or does he have a mechanic that he goes to for tuneups?

Who taught Yonji tailoring and fashion? Sanji had Zeff to help him become a master chef, so did someone take Yonji under their wing in a similar fashion? Or is he entirely self-taught?

Does Yonji ever feel bad for leaving his brothers and sister behind? Unlike Sanji, who had normal human emotions from the get-go, Yonji's been on both sides of the fence, and he knows what it's like to be the sociopathic killing machine their father turned them into. Does he wish there was some way to trigger what happened to him in them as well? Do he and Sanji ever talk about their family? We know Sanji was the only one to regularly go and visit their mother, but do you think Yonji has any memories of her as well? Does he beg Sanji for stories about her?

Where does Yonji live? Does Sanji swing by to visit him every so often, or do they keep in touch by air mail, does Yonji join the Strawhats or just travel with them?

Does Sanji ever have a "O shit, I think I might actually love him" moment when it comes to Yonji? It could be something domestic like laughing together in Sanji's kitchen they work together to prepare a meal, or something like seeing Yonji about to be injured or even killed in the middle of a fight and going "This is the only little brother I've got, not on my watch, dammit!"

Lastly, do you have any songs in mind for you AU, aside from the ones you've used for your animatics? Some that came to mind for Yonji are:

"Stray Italian Greyhound" by Vienna Teng

"To Be Human" by Sia

"Zephyrus" by The Oh Hellos

"Stigma" by V

And I think "Soap" by The Oh Hellos maybe fits Sanji's feelings toward having his brother back in his life and being willing to extend a second chance to him after seeing how he's changed.

Holy shit that's a long ask! Lemme see...

So speaking of Sanji being a big brother, have he and Yonji ever hugged? If so, what prompted it? Is Yonji more touchy-feely than Sanji in general, or are they both pretty touch-averse?

They've hugged, mostly at WCI arc. But for the most part they're touch adverse (despite being touch starved). Yonji enjoys instigating physical affection to anyone but he's not great at taking it.

How does Yonji fight? Did he develop his own style of fighting after leaving Germa 66, much like Sanji did, or does he still fight the way he did when working under Judge? Is he still really good at fighting, or does he easily become a nonfunctional, overwhelmed mess, bombarded on all sides with everyone's heightened and fraught emotions?

Yonji very rarely fights anymore. He usually quickly gets overwhelmed and becomes a mess, yes, due to all of the emotions. Whenever he gets into a fight he loses control of his Haki and it's a bad time. However, if he has a goal, (protecting someone, getting something etc.) he can power through it. His fighting style is still mostly brute force punching because he hasn't learned any other way. However, when he joins the Revs, he gets taught to be more smart about it.

Does Yonji's prosthetic arm have attachments and hidden weapons? How does he upkeep it? Does he know how it works decently enough do to it himself, or does he have a mechanic that he goes to for tuneups?

It used to! He broke a lot of them/refuses to use them. He knew how it worked enough to keep it functional up until he meets the Strawhats and upon finding the frankly horrendous state of the prosthetic, Franky helps make Yonji a new one, specialized for tailoring! He rarely gets issues with the new are but if he does he can usually troubleshoot himself or attempt to contact Franky.

Who taught Yonji tailoring and fashion? Sanji had Zeff to help him become a master chef, so did someone take Yonji under their wing in a similar fashion? Or is he entirely self-taught?

For the most part, he's self-taught! Maybe I'll give him a mentor but I'm usually pretty adverse to making OCs for my AUs. Hmmmmm. He definitely had a training arc under some big name shops at one point though.

Does Yonji ever feel bad for leaving his brothers and sister behind? Unlike Sanji, who had normal human emotions from the get-go, Yonji's been on both sides of the fence, and he knows what it's like to be the sociopathic killing machine their father turned them into. Does he wish there was some way to trigger what happened to him in them as well? Do he and Sanji ever talk about their family? We know Sanji was the only one to regularly go and visit their mother, but do you think Yonji has any memories of her as well? Does he beg Sanji for stories about her?

*smacks yonji on the head* This good boy can fit so much guilt complex in him! He's guilty about everything all the time! Yes, he does want to help Ichiji and Niji, which comes into play post WCI. While Sanji and Yonji tend to avoid talking about Judge or their siblings, Sora has been brought up before. I know I haven't mentioned it on tumblr yet, but I sometimes draw Yonji with a necklace, which is supposed to be a trinket of Sora's that Reiju gave to him when Yonji ran away. Yonji's memories of Sora is hazy and he pretty torn up about it. Yeah, he asks Sanji for stories about her. <3

Where does Yonji live? Does Sanji swing by to visit him every so often, or do they keep in touch by air mail, does Yonji join the Strawhats or just travel with them?

He lives on this random island along the Grandline! Something kinda like Saboady or Hand Island. The Straw Hats (specifically) Sanji has visited few times post the initial meeting but Yonji does not actively travle with them. He might had, like, one adventure with them but otherwise he's not part of the crew or anything. He does get the SH's den den mushi number and keeps in touch that way. Occasionally he'll send packages- usually at the behest of Sanji at the behest of Nami, lol. Later, Yonji ends up getting roped into joining the Revs and he splits his time between being at his shop and at Baltigo.

Does Sanji ever have a "O shit, I think I might actually love him" moment when it comes to Yonji? It could be something domestic like laughing together in Sanji's kitchen they work together to prepare a meal, or something like seeing Yonji about to be injured or even killed in the middle of a fight and going "This is the only little brother I've got, not on my watch, dammit!"

YES! Specifically Yonji crying and gushing about how good Sanji's cooking is. Yonji is a little foodie and while he can't cook to save his life, he does happen to know a good bit about how food gets made and really learned to appreciate the effort that goes into cooking. Sanji is not normal over this fact. He has the "Don't touch my brother!" moment at WCI screaming at Judge. Which sends Yonji into a blubbering mess. (A lot of things happen WCI lmfao.)

Lastly, do you have any songs in mind for you AU, aside from the ones you've used for your animatics?

My ass doesn't actively listen to a whole bunch of music but I have made a playlist for this AU! The vibe mostly is like upbeat songs with sad lyrics lol.

Forgive my terrible terrible taste in music:

Thank you for the songs! Gonna snag 'em and add 'em to the playlist hehe.

Also, thank you for the ask!!!! <3 <3

#good yonji au #orange asks

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 The Papas and Copia and how they react to your compliments. 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 Compliments 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩(𝐬) Cardinal Copia x GN!Reader, the paragraphs for the other Papas can also be interpreted as Papa x GN!Reader 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 No smut but mentions of sex in Copia's section so 18+ only, MINORS DNI 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 588 words. 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 My body is too warm and it's making sitting in front of my laptop uncomfortable so I'm using today to take a break from writing Mary fics. I've v briefly proofread this to make sure I don't use gendered pronouns or terms for reader but if I've missed any lmk! 𝐊𝐨-𝐟𝐢 𝐓𝐢𝐩 𝐉𝐚𝐫

When Primo receives a compliment from you, it’s usually waved away dismissively as he mumbles something along the lines of ‘you waste these words on an old man like me instead of one who would appreciate them more’. It doesn’t stop you giving them to him though, now written on a note attached to a new plant or flower you’ve bought for him to plant in the gardens so he can’t brush them off. He always finds you afterwards, lightly chastising you for being far too kind and generous to a man of his age. Every time, without fail, you press a kiss to his cheek and tell him to stop being silly. It makes him smile fondly.

Secondo pretends not to be affected by the compliments you give him. You tell him he doesn’t need to put on such an act around you, and yet he does it anyway. He grunts, muttering about how you’re exaggerating and trying to be modest. Your compliments are always accompanied with a pot of tea served with his favourite cups and saucers and a plate of amaretti biscuits that you’ve freshly baked that morning. Sure, he grumbles about being distracted from his duties whenever you enter with a tray laden with biscuits and beverages, but he makes sure to thank you before you leave every single time, lips pressed to your forehead in gratitude as he promises to thank you properly later.

Compliments between you and Terzo become a competition. You’ll engage in compliment combat each time you cross one another in the corridors, lashing one another with kind words and affection until one of you smiles or laughs first. It used to startle the siblings of sin when they passed you both in the corridor during these times but now it’s such a common occurrence that they merely shake their heads and chuckle before continuing on with whatever they were doing prior to encountering you both. Terzo has won more of these compliment battles than you have and you’re okay with that. Just getting to see him smile and bask in the affection you offer him brings you an endless amount of joy.

At first, Copia didn’t deal with compliments too well. Each time you complimented his outfit or his moustache or even something his office space he’d bristle, assuming you were making fun of him like your fellow cardinals used to before he became the frontman for Ghost. It took months of building up trust and friendship for him to realise that you were being genuine and honest, showering him with affectionate words and reassuring smiles. Lingering eye contact and the touch of an arm that lasted longer than perhaps was appropriate between the two of you became more and more frequent.

Eventually, the kind words and compliments you exchanged resulted in him bedding you. Featherlight touches exchanged between two cardinals pining after one another became caresses and kisses in places that had you arching your back, aching for him. Whispers and giggles became moans and whimpers as you explored one another’s bodies in the dead of night, sneaking around the cardinals’ quarters and other places in the abbey after curfew. Shared books passed to one another innocently in the library became an excuse to meet up there after hours and desecrate the librarian’s desk with your head between his thighs and vice versa. What had started out as acts of kindness turned into a relationship and sexual encounters that were etched into your memory long after they’d happened.  

#a little spicy #mushy may #primo #papa emeritus i #secondo #papa emeritus ii #terzo #papa emeritus iii #cardinal copia #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia x gn!reader #papa emeritus iv x reader #papa emeritus iv x gn!reader #the band ghost #fanfic #my fanfic #mine

[glitchadeli]

If you saw my last post - then you'll understand why I'm making this one!! Plus I'm showing off the amazing art by my friend Nere - I'm here to explain all my Next Gen's partners!! (Pearl and Kid's partners will just have to be explained later though.... sorry Kin and Otto.) I've added the chart again so you know the names of everyone in case for some reason it got confusing.. anyway!! ~ "Glitch, what did you mean in that last post that you couldn't have Guy and Darwin together?" ... welp I guess now's a good time to introduce the Next Gen's partners!! Starting with Pig. (Pig in a blanket Dog). If you remember in the show Guy said he was "born attached to his two brothers" - yeah. Echo and I have named them "Hot Dog Dude" and "Hot Dog Man". Dude ended up with a teen pregnancy (17, same age as Gum) which resulted in Pig being born. But Dude wasn't the best parent and didn't really want the responsibility.. so Guy stepped up. Ends becoming more of a father to his nephew than Dude ever was. Guy even legally adopts Pig at some point, and Pig sees Dude as more of an 'uncle' instead. (I'm sure that's confusing but idk man, it is what it is.) Anywaysss - Pig ends up with Zipper!! ("Childhood friends to Lovers” trope). Very sappy and in love!! The reason I didn't wanna put Guy with Darwin is because well.. Zip is Darwin's nephew. Wouldn't it be odd if your uncle is dating your boyfriend's dad...? ("Glitch, Guy isn't biologically Pig's dad though?" - I know, but it's.. the principal.. okay???) So I figured it's just easier to keep Guy and Dar as good friends. (I say all this as if there isn't confusing stuff later.. I'LL GET TO IT.) - Moving on; Leonard (Lenny) is obviously; Larry and Karen's son! (I did make a post recently saying that Larry is also married to Small, yep that's still true. Go read that post if you're confused though. Lenny ends up with Cas!! ("Friends to Lovers" trope. Yes all the GR kids have a 'romance trope' with their relationships cause I think it's fun!) -

Continuing down the line - Cosette ends up with Wessley. He is just an Oc with OC parents. Isn't a next gen of anyone in canon so there's not much to explain there. (their 'trope' is the "Coffee Shop Romance" btw!) I don't have much to say about them other than I love them!! (I love all my next gen ships.)

- Nezt up is Elliot who ends up with a boy named Rodney (Rod)! He is the son of "Shooting Star" (which I just say at this point is his name. Another Hot Dog Guy situation lol) As for Rodney's mom? She was an anonymous surrogate. I know who she is (yes it's another bg character, I'm sure you could figure out which one.) Rod plays a pivotal role in Eli's life, and ironically their 'trope' is "Second Chances''. They go through trials and errors but work though it <33 - Aaaaand finally for the twins; Roe ends up with Nimble and Rem ends up with a girl named Lei! Nimble is a fictional lizard/gator thing, a species I made up and still don't have a name for :') Nim was an orphan but eventually adopted by some of Cas' classmates (who, are adults at this point and are Oc's so no canon characters again.) Roe and Nim are the classic "Enimies to Lover's" trope - just like GumRob! Nim was Roe's 'nemesis' (it was more of a one sided thing. Roe hated Nim way more than Nim could ever hate Roe LMAO). Took Roe a while to even ADMIT he had any feelings for Nim. (Of course the whole fam teased him about it.) -

Rem ends up with Lei - the daughter of Chi Chi and LeXing. ("Who's LeXing?" - does Miracle Star sound familiar? If not, Miracle Star was the carbon copy of TAWoG which then inspired the "Copycats" episode that Chi Chi starred in.) Yeah, Chi Chi wasn't happy to hear his daughter was with a Watterson so their 'trope' is "Forbidden Lovers" but that's a much more dramatic title. Chi Chi was not happy in the slightest.. but it wasn't like he didn't allow them to date, ya know? - I hope this gives some insight on these guys ;v; and PLEASE go check out my friend Nere, the one who drew the 6 images of all the GR kids and their partners <33

(I might add more later)

#the amazing world of gumball #tawog #glitch's next gen tawog #my next gen #gumrob #tawog gumball #tawog rob #gumball watterson #rob tawog #darwin watterson

[weebsinstash]

Question, and you can ignore this if it’s too deep for you

Have you ever heard or watched Moral Orel? Cuz there was a moment with the nurse girl that really stood out to me and it was just… woah

Cuz I may have an ask about this cuz I’m so INVESTED in the doppelgänger us and wanted to send some asks if that’s okay with you ☺️

Love it 💜🦋

I'm kind of vaguely aware of what it's all about, and I have a feeling you're talking about the woman with the age regression trauma in the episode that got the show canceled lmao 💀

But yeah anyone is free to send in ideas and feedback, although answering can be kind of on a whim sometimes since I'm. All over the place. I'm terrible at answering and being consistent lol. But I love the talk and engagement especially when people like my weird ideas haha, it really becomes an activity in of itself

I'm also growing extremely attached to the doppelganger story and I've been slowly mapping it out and getting different things down but unfortunately now I have so many different ideas that I'm not sure which ones to keep and which ones to put down for use for something else later 😅 but I've been trying to mentally sit down and iron out exact details, and it's been a tricky process. The exact things I've been getting caught on are 1. How long do you know Miguel/the Spider Society before this all goes down, like is it months or years or what, how close and enmeshed are you with this community. 2. How exactly does YouTwo start stealing your life? What methods do they use to frame you for anything, do they set any schemes up to convince other people you're actually them and they're you, do they steal your costume and leave theirs behind forcing you to wear theirs so you can go out and that's when you're cornered, do you actually let them pretend to be you once or twice and accidentally create their addiction. 3. How is Reader finally betrayed and how quickly is YouTwo exposed, are you gone for a while or do they catch the ruse just in time.

It's definitely my favorite idea I've had for him and the Spider Society in general, but it's splitting off into so many different paths at this point lol. Is there a physical fight, are there any chases, does Reader get put in the Go Home Machine, what if it just sent you elsewhere and they don't realize until you're already gone and they have definitive evidence YT is the fake, do they just assume you're dead, what if you have your bracelet off and you're just glitching and in pain and, just glitch into another dimension instead or whatever. Like. The possibilities are endless with this uh, franchise? Company?. We've got characters like Darwin who constantly evolve and others like Gwenpool and, also, it's fanfictiom why not just have fun

Still stuck on "does Miguel/the SS realize just in time and save you" vs "they don't realize until after you're gone and have to get you back" because they're both tasty in different ways. Like I can see you getting thrown into the Go Home Machine amd you're pissed and terrified and not sure what's going to happen to you and, the machine is powering up and everything is all dramatic and, suddenly it just stops and displays NO DIMENSIONAL MATCH or something similar and everyone is immediately nervous because they almost got rid of the Real You and you're understandably furious. Love the idea of just walking up to Miguel and antagonizing him and verbally berating him and the man just lets you because it's kind of like a punishment he's imposing on himself for what how he's hurt you.

You're just slowly clapping at him, being extremely sarcastic and smiling in a way that says you want to kill him "Woooooow, great job Miguel! Did you do it? Do you save the multiverse? Did you defeat the bad guy?" You're just actively sneering in his face and meanwhile he's just slowly processing what could've happened if the machine had just 'sent you back anyways' so to speak and there you are, "hey, what if the machine just ejected me off into the void since there was nothing there to go back to? Would I be out in space right now, in the dark, choking--" and you make wheezing sounds on purpose because you're angry and trying to hurt him meanwhile he's practically cycling through stages of grief while youre antagonizing him rn. You're in the big room with the go home machine and Miguel and YouTwo and a bunch of other witnesses and your innocence has been proven and they're exposes exposed for everything they framed you for and some of the Spiders are like "oh wow sure glad that's all over and everything can go back to normal and you can go back to hanging out with us and doing your classes again right teach? :)" and you're just like "ahaha, the FUCK I will, at this point I don't want any of you guys, I'm gonna go pack my bags 😒"

YouTwo had started luring Miguel into this sort of trap where he was starting to really put some thought and effort into starting an actual relationship with you and in his eyes he's not just losing you, but also the future and fantasy he's been building up in his head (which definitely involves a baby). Man is having his own dramatic ass anime moment where in his head he's visualizing you holding the hand of a small child and walking away into the sunset as he reaches out "no, come back!", like shit man you'll have to pull something reeeeal special to make up for this

I just. I don't know, i like multiple options and I have to choose one of them! Unless I did the youtwo fic and then did other sort of oneshots 🤔 as a writer it is traaaaagic when you have all these ideas and you decide on a single one and wind up pitching the rest, maybe I should just be unashamed and just repost similar shit all the time, or post bonus chapters to the original fic that might be the same fic again but with changes. Idk. But. Either way I really can't decide between 1. Reader having their bracelet removed and they wind up glitching away and everyone thinks you died but you're chilling with a friend (Hobie? Miguel 2? Shit maybe even Miles as that healing little brother energy, like, i hate it i hate it i hate it But I Understand Peter B's "oh shit did you make me realize i want kids" Moment 😩😩😩 also we stan Peter B in this house. We love a man who accidentally cringefails his life and puts it back together better and happier. Should circle back to him later, i can see him in some "you confide in him bc you trust him and he sells you out for your own good" scenarios. You tell him something like idk dark thoughts you've been having about yourself recently and Miguel knows THAT day) 2. You get revealed as "the real one" with the Go Home Machine 3. You glitch away but then eventually glitch back and they're chasing you down to put the bracelet back on

Idk I just have a lot of thoughts and ideas and my WIPs/drafts keep growing and growing 😩

#i never know when to tag things or not. like when is something good enough to tag #but then its like. i gotta tag it for .y own records #yandere spiderverse #yandere stuff #sinprompts

[monstress]

hii. if u dont mind, could u please share that "change of attitude" towards journaling? i feel like i really need that.. since i myself changed my attitude towards drawing and have been much more productive and happy doing it this last year. however Writing About Myself its another beast completely.. hope u r having a nice day! 🍃

hope you're having a lovely day as well! anyways as i was typing this up, what starts as a small tidbit has gone off the rails so i suppose this is my blanket advice as a newbie in journaling:

the materials!

choosing the titular journal aka notebook:

soft vs hard cover - i didn't realize this is SUCH a deciding factor until much later. most people prefer soft covers since journals can get massive with use but it's very subjective. be tactile - if it just don't feel right in ur hands, it's not gonna be something u reach out for when u have free time.

size - the most common sizes are A5, A6 or regular aka travelers notebook. you have to think abt who you are as a writer. do u have a large handwriting that takes up pages and pages? do you like space or are you overwhelmed by a blank page? do you travel a lot and do u want something unobtrusive in your bag? choose something that will reasonable work as a part of your daily life.

paper texture - paper that is smooth to write in are a great source of pleasure. notebooks with 100gsm paper is a good benchmark.

price - pleaseeee do not break the bank to purchase a fancy notebook. an expensive notebook can become an unloved one. you'd be too stressed to ensure every entry is perfect and pretty enough and the notebook eventually becomes too intimidating for you to fill in. check out your local hypermarket or online stores for quality notebooks. moleskins are overrated--in my country, they are v v expensive so don't feel pressure to buy a certain stationary just bc you see them often on ig/tiktok like my journal cost me approximately RM10 (USD2.34) and my new one w 100gsm paper cost me RM17 (USD4) like affordable options are out there!

build a connection with your notebook - listen...this sounds strange but having an attachment with your journal and making it inviting as possible is a great source of motivation. personalize it: add stickers, doodle or paint the cover. get a fabric/pvc cover to keep it clean if you'd like (you can add lil papers/stickers on ur actual notebook cover before putting on the pvc cover! very cute and easy)

and your pens:

again: less is more! use any relatively cheap pens you like - be it for the ink or smoothness. if you want to journal a lot, expect to lose a few pens during traveling or just around the house lmao

for fans of darker inks like me, i use Uni-ball Signo Broad, M&G R3 retractable gel pen and my favorite: Faber Castell RX Gel Pen 0.38mm - which cost like RM1.49 (i dont wanna convert - it's change money in america)

final note: i don't use fountain pens so i'm afraid i'm not well-versed enough to advise in that department but i deeply respect (and a little in awe) of journallers who use them 🫡

the tenet!

purpose: what do u plan to use the notebook for? daily journal? art journal? planner? all three? it's your life! live deliciously! since i have a 9-5 job, i know i can't keep up with more than one journal so i've been using mines as a diary and i dump my daily activities/thoughts/reviews of all kinds of media i'm currently obsessed with and it fills up quick!

don't be too hard on yourself: if you missed a day or two of journalling, it's fine - take it back up. write down anything memorable you'd like in the past few days. if you come across a certain blank page your brain is blanking to fill, perhaps after a previous dark entry, skip the page. skip two pages if needed. don't be scared of blank pages. if it needs to be blank, let it be.

it doesn't have to only be words! add stickers, dried flowers, receipts, ticket stubs, other ephemera you collected in the day. be artful! go crazy on page decoration!!

if there's anything you take away from this post, it's this: if you truly want a journal that is used up quickly, do not have plans to share it on social media. personally, i find once you are in the mindset of sharing your journal for an audience's consumption, you get worried whether it's "aesthetic" enough or is it too boring or too ugly or too dark or that you don't upload regularly enough. social media can be inhibiting your creativity or motivation to journal like let your animal brain ruminate in private! stay free from the shackles of responsibility!

#answered #poseida #journals #journaling tips #also in return i need to know what u did to change your attitude with drawing! i need to get back on that horse!

[acorpsecalledcorva]

Ok last night's research was wild and I would genuinely appreciate input and other thoughts on these ideas, especially if you've come across these before as I don't think I've seen them discussed. I was actually just looking into the idea of DID being a disorder or multiple realities as highlighted by Kluft but then I ended up in a rabbit hole.

Functional Dissociation of the Self: The Psychological and Sociological Self

So first of all I was reading this paper

Which is really really good, it's massive, absolutely huge, but incredibly thorough and explores how different kinds of trauma are predictive of different disorders and presentations across PTSD, DPDR, Dissociative depression, and complex Dissociative disorders.

But quite early on it mentions the work of Sar and Ozturk and this concept of the Psychological and Sociological Self, so what's that?

(this is just an abstract but it also appears in Dissociation and the Dissociative Disorders DSM V and Beyond so you might be able to read it in a Google books preview)

This paper kind of proposes a new idea, my initial thoughts are that the authors aren't exactly exploring new ground so much as redrawing the map, however, it does seem to be that their perspective has merit in application. The idea is that everyone has these two selves, the psychological self is that deeper true self, it's your creativity and your reason, all that behind the scenes good stuff that makes up you. The sociological self is much more influenced by culture, it's behaviour and social conditioning and belief, the things we project outwardly about ourselves.

If this sounds familiar it's because it absolutely is, it's all very Jungian and Freudian and the authors admit to this. Where they differ though is the amount of agency given to the selves. Neither is a passive observer but instead a duality of the self that works in parallel as a team. These guys are also not afraid to get political in their writing and highlight how a culture that is at odds with the psychological self can give rise to extremist behaviours through overelaboration of the sociological self. There's a great bit in one of their papers about the kind of person who swings politically from far right to far left, it's wild.

When it comes to trauma, they propose that dissociation arises when the Sociological Self attempts to bury the psychological self to protect it. For instance, in the example of betrayal trauma from a caregiver, the psychological self would be the part of you that is hardwired to remain attached to said caregiver, while the sociological self recognises the danger. The SS pushes the PS down to protect it from the external reality, however, the authors suggest that the SS is unequipped to deal with this effectively without the PS's help.

Interestingly, they also suggest that the SS attempts to deal with trauma by distorting the reality of it. It repeats a version of the trauma to try and solve, unsuccessfully, and everytime it repeats it changes so that the trauma becomes retraumatising. This is important because this is where the sociocognitive aspect comes in, because when we are unable to rely on the internal solutions of the PS we turn our attention outward. Fantasy proneness, then, would result in unreliable narration of traumatic events based on attempts by the SS to reconcile trauma from external sources. Pseudomemories. The trauma is real, and a hard copy is stored in the psychological self, but when the SS acts as a barrier to the PS then that core trauma is inaccessible. That's why it's important to focus on the feelings behind the trauma as those remain true.

In this model, alter identity formation arises from the discrete packaging of trauma that is set aside, and an attempt by the psychological self to connect with the external world and creates a new sociological self. This is very relevant to me as it pertains to how I experience alters, that there's a pool of fragments (discrete trauma packages) and, when required, an alter emerges from this pool and passes through my social conditioning to create the identity aspect of the alters sense of self. The biographical data of the alter is therefore formed from my sociological self's interpretation of external sources (be they archetypal or direct copies of media).

This disconnect of the PS and SS leads to an underdevelopment of the psychological self and an over development of the sociological self. This is what, in the authors opinion, leads to the paradoxical phenomena of a lack of neuroplasticity (no new solutions for trauma are found) and high adaptability (new alter identities in traumatic or stressful situations) found in CDD patients. It also means that the psychological self remains a child with a strong drive towards protection and nurturing, but therefore, retains it's sensitivity towards betrayal and therefore need for protection.

Now, this is the extra wild bit, because the authors propose that reconnection and engagement with the psychological self should be the primary goal of psychotherapy and if successful then the PS can rapidly develop and resolve trauma.

In this paper

The authors highlight the main barrier to access of the psychological self, the trauma self. The TS is an aspect of the over developed sociological self. It contains a distorted sense of reality, one of hopelessness and helplessness, and projects this reality internally. Think of it like a recursive version of Plato's allegory of the cave. The trauma self sits inside the cave, miserable, but afraid of the shadows on the wall and therefore unable to leave. Those shadows are then projected inwards to internal parts onto their own cave wall. This creates a bidirectional phobia of the internal and external world. Internal protector parts are hyper vigilant against a distorted view of the external world, and the host alter becomes phobic of the internal parts which they view as irrational, frightening, and dangerous (hello, this is me).

Now, this is the bit that seems insane to me and what I would love others opinion on, because the authors seem to suggest that persecutory parts hold the resolution skills for processing trauma, and if the host would only stop being prejudiced against them (like, actually, not like liberal white women who support BLM but lock their car doors when they see someone looking a little too urban) and let the persecutors do what they were originally designed for then recovery is incredibly swift and effective. One case study took 6 sessions. They also claim that patients have had no relapses up to 7 years after treatment.

So, this to me seems way to good to be true (or maybe that's my treatment resistant trauma self talking 😅). There must surely be counter arguments to this model on limitations or impracticalities. The first paper I linked seems quite thoroughly in support of this model, but I'm pretty sure that it's the first time I've come across it. Does anyone else know more about this? Has it been done to death and thoroughly debunked? Are there discussions by other big names in the field? Help a sister out

#syscourse #sysconversation #sysblr #system community #dissociative identity disorder #did system #actually traumatised #long ass post #sorry about that

[jortschronicles]

Coronet V: Sheep and Bears

Armiger Runa Bjarki fought for me at Vindheim's fifth coronet tournament, after fighting for me for the first time at Vindheim's fourth coronet tournament.

This will be a bit more of a costuming diary than anything, detailing my process from design, to drafting, to learning new arts, to the finished project, and what I learned along the way.

Our arrangement began prior to Vindheim's 4th coronet tournament, arranged by my wife and Runa's teacher much in the style of an arranged marriage. Runa would fight for me in exchange for me making our coronet garb, giving me an excuse to step up my garb game and enjoy some pomp and circumstance and giving Runa a growing closet of fancier garb. Our arrangement stipulated that I get to make Runa wear Pink, sometimes at least.

Our first outfits were pink and orange with black accents, which is TECHNICALLY Vindheim colors (dark Or, light gules, and sable :P) and includes the pink and orange which I have become associated with in the kingdom. These outfits would not have been possible without Dvorianka Anastasiia and Boiarynia Koia, who loaned me veils and undergowns, gave me instructions on drafting and assembly, and zhuzhed me incessantly day of to make sure the Rus impression was both up to their standards of accuracy and made me feel pretty.

A fun fact about this procession, we were the first ostensibly f/f entrant couple in a Vindheim coronet tournament, we were dressed as lesbian flags, and our procession was riddled with pride flags. Overall, a good day.

I created the following patterns for Runa's and my outfits, respectively:

Our arms:

Time passed, the second coronet tournament was fast approaching, and per our agreement, the next set of outfits would be Vindheim/ Free Company / Runa's own colors. Rather than struggling with pens and sketching over and over and over, this time I simply made "dress up dolls" in GIMP to present design ideas to my fighter, which included the following:

I cannot recommend this process enough. I just sketch outlines of my design on paper, upload into GIMP, adjust levels and brightness, then set the alpha channel to white. Under the lines layer, I make a series of layers in neon colors of each of the "sections" of color I might want to adjust, which allows me to bucket fill to make different designs.

After selecting a design, I obtained stamp carving supplies and sent them to Runa for her to carve my fleece and her bear, the animate charges in our arms, to be applied to the final product.

I commissioned trim by trade from a local to me, Lady Kenda, to accent the borders of the red facings. I only asked for 6 yards. This would prove to be a mistake, although the trim itself was LOVELY

My first attempts to use the stamps were...fraught. Many inappropriate jokes were made about the sheep, in particular. Koia and Anastasiia troubleshooted the problem remotely and provided better paint, respectively, resulting in the superior stamping on the right.

Not a single picture I've taken captures the depth and warmth of the brown in the bears, unfortunately. In natural light, they're clear, vibrant, and a warm coffee brown. In every photo i've taken, they're barely there. With stamping conquered, so began the cutting, serging, and assembly.

I used the crimson and the black linen from OKC fabric market, which are both soft, mid-weight linens with an apparently short staple, but are plenty affordable for my needs. After cutting and labeling all t he pieces with chalk, I ran them through the serger to keep the pieces from fraying while I work. This also let's me be lazy and not do any seam finishing at the end of the proecess, when I may be very pressed for time.

I prefer to attach the two body pieces at the shoulders and apply the neck facing ASAP, as it's easier to cut and turn before the entire tunic is assembled. I also attached the facing to the cuffs before attaching the cuffs. I lay everything flat, attaching gores to the sides of the gown and tunic, then I run one seam each up from the hem to the cuff. The exception to this is the side on which I include my pocket, since I like to have my phone, emergency meds, eye drops, and lip balm on me at events. Runa's tunic does not have this pocket, but her pants have both the cell phone pocket and the Jameson pocket. I should make a post about these pants at some point ;)

I didn't bother turning in the edges on much of the facings of my gown, anticipating applying trim over the top. Then I looked at how much trim I had left, and quickly decided to trim both of our sleeves, the bottom of my skirt, and the neck facing on Runa's tunic.

To the places I did not actually add trim, I embroidered the edge with a tacked herringbone stitch to add visual interest. Luckily, it turns out this particular design delights my fighter, is fairly strong, and has a very pleasant texture to the little hamsters in the brain.

Overall, I'm incredibly satisfied with this result and look forward to wearing so much Rus in the future. I finally feel comfortable enough with the construction of both of these tunics to offer them on commission locally.

Some more glamor shots:

Endless thanks to Dvorianka Anastasiia Dmitrieva Sokolova and Boiarynia Koia Karasova, my Rus Mamas and tolerators of many midnight questions about stamping and styling.

So what am I on to next? Med Fair cotehardies. I'm currently handsewing the supportive underdress for my own impression. Fingers crossed I maintain my sanity!!

#sca #society for creative anachronism #a&s #arts & sciences #historical costuming

[pendulum-sonata]

1 and 21.

1. Character that everyone gets wrong.

Lol, we're starting with the heavy weaponry aren't we? You know? To spice things a little bit, I'm gonna choose an Arc V character and a Kubera character, even though only one of my mutuals reads the last one >.>

Arc V

Well... as much as I would like to say Reiji again, I think I've established enough times how misinterpreted his character is, so this time I'll choose...

Ray Akaba, I wasn't even aware that there were still people around who apparently hate her so much, that they would call for the "Ray hater nation" or whatever, I'm not gonna mention who it was but it was very recent, which honestly makes me remember that one tweet pointing out how silly people sound when they justify not liking badly written female character, how they'd supposedly love them if they were better written, when they couldn't handle any of them having one bad feeling for they boyfavs.

And that's really all there sees to be behind A LOT of the Ray hate going around: They hate her because canonically she defeated Zarc and she split him and then split herself to chase him across dimensions, and hate that she was the one who had to give the coup of grace in the duel against him.

They hate that canonically, Ray is one of the best duelist in the yugiohverse, and they will pull the weirdest excuses out of their backside to justify why she's the worst, how she was "too conceited" to believe she could take Zarc on her on, like excuse me, she absolutely took him down, TWICE, not sure what series you were watching, how she supposedly pulled a deus ex machina with the En Cards, as if the requirements to use them weren't ridiculously difficult to meet and wouldn't require a very skilled duelist, how she was dumb for sparing Leo because he caused an wat to bring her back, like, sweetie, the world would have ended anyway because with or without Leo, Zarc would have awakened eventually, that's why Ray set herself to always chase him down and defeat him over and over, like honestly i could dedicate a whole rant essay to the ridiculous claims I've seen made about her.

But the one thing everyone ALWAYS gets wrong is this, and I'm gonna put it in all caps and bold text because it needs to be said:

RAY ALONG WITH ZARC CREATED THE PENDULUM SUMMON AND THE PENDULUM CARDS!!

(AND VERY LIKELY ALSO YUYA'S PENDULUM NECKLACE)

Seriously people, this isn't rocket science, the entirety of the 6th opening and ending is FULL of visual cues about how the both of them did it, we have visuals of Yuya and Yuzu forming the energy for the Pendulum, we know Ray was able to create and give cards to Reira in her spirit-like form, heck, lately the card game has released a bunch of cards that attach the word pendulum to Ray as well, come on.

And that's just something that a large portion of the fandom always gets wrong about her.

Kubera

For this webtoon there is way too many people with the worst takes on many characters, befitting as the characterization of the story is very complex and well-made, and many of them are girls, and the girls can just as flawed and commit terrible actions as the dude characters.

But one character that seems to exceed the number of bad takes rather than the good ones is Menaka.

Menaka is a nastika, a race who in this story are sort of like opposing force to the gods, the author has even mentioned that humans sort of see them like "evil gods", some fit the label more than others, and others like Menaka are the exact opposite of evil, she was actually hailed as the one nastika who was qualified enough to eventually become the wisest king of the clans, and would be the first one to reach enlightenment and defeat one of the main villains. Unfortunately this one villain would have none of that and screwed her over on a cosmological level to the point it costed her everything, her power, her life, her clan, her future, and she ended up being screwed over after her death and then some more.

Without saying too many things confusing to non-readers that's the gist, as as the type of character who was tricked into abandoning everything for the greater good, and lived and died to regret it because she ended up doing a lot of damages for her decisions as well, and then sacrifice herself once more she's the perfect candidate to be hated, mischaracterized, mocked, straight up make things up about her character that you'd thing they're talking about someone else.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that people called her a groomer and the true villain of the story, not like a joke or hyperbole, but as like what they actually think of her -_-'

Uff, that was hard to write without possibly spoiling anyone lol (don't judge me, Kubera in ongoing, Arc V is over :P)

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Arc V

The Xyz arc, that all I have to say, I mean, you guys know me, for those who follow me when it was airing, you know my feelings about it and you know the absolute boredom that brings me every single time any of the xyz dimension characters were the focus (unless Yuzu, Dennis, Sora or Yuya were in them lol)

People love to say that the series did them dirty because they deserved a full arc, but honestly, we deserved a full arc dedicated to the fusion dimension, and I will die in that hill.

Kubera.

You know? Kubera doesn't have overhyped parts, because the series as a whole is just so underrated and obscure, and everything is so interwoven together, that it's impossible to remove any parts without affecting the overarching plot so... *shrugs*

#rose talks #my askbox #choose violence #arc v #ray akaba #one last god kubera #Menaka (Kubera) #I wanted to write more #but this would turn into an essay sorry #sorry to my arc v followers #but Kubera has me in a vicelike grip

[pray4saint]

SAINT i need show recs, and you seem like you have amazing taste, so... any ideas?

down the rabbit hole we go, im big on crime shows soooooo most of them are

psych (2006-2014, 8 seasons) ; i've watched it from start to finish 3 times and even know i go back and watch my favourite episodes (prime video)

summary ; the mc (shawn spencer) is very observant and gets called in bc the police think he's in on all these crimes bc he keeps calling in tips, but he lies and says that he's a psychic.. and keeps it up for YEARS, subplot slowburn romance is SO YUMMY familiar faces ; shawn spencer (james roday rodriguez) in a million little things, burton guster (dule hill) in holes, other familiar faces + there are also 3 psych movies & the the creators are planning out the 4th, they're just waiting for a producing company to pick it up with funds, (peacock)

bones (2005-2017, 12 seasons) ; i'm currently watching this & i'm obsessed but try not to get too attached to any characters, i like how a lot of the characters are in some way autistic (like me) and they don't ever have to point it out bc that's just how the characters are, be aware, the remains are kinda gross but i'm goos w it (prime video/freevee)

summary ; a forensic anthropologist (temperance brennan) working with an fbi agent (seeley booth) to solve crimes using just the bones, lots of main & side character betrayal and deaths + the finder (2012, 1 season) ; this is a spinoff of bones, i'd wait until the episode in bones where they go to the finder before watching this (disney+)

leverage (2008-2012, 5 seasons) ; this show brings me an inexplicable amount of dopamine when i watch it & the subplot slowburn romances are SO GOOD AND SILLY EHEHEHEH (prime video/freevee)

summary ; nathan ford (an ex-insurance claim investigator) and several criminals are tricked into stealing something, but end up becoming a team familiar faces ; eliot spencer (christian kane) in not since you, the librarians, & just married, other familiar faces + leverage: redemption (2021-present, 2 seasons) ; the sequel show, v similar but without nathan ford bc the actor got into trouble right before the show and with a couple new faces, still a 10/10, lgbtq+ rep too (prime video/freevee)

alex rider (2020-2021, 2 seasons, possible s3) ; i watched this with my mom during the pandemic, keep in mind i've never read the books, and MY GOD it was so good, it's british and there's episonage and they're teenagers and mystery (prime video/freevee)

summary ; a teenager (alex rider) is recruited by a division of mi6; the department of special operations and he's sent into a 'corrective academy' where wayward teens of rich people are sent bc they all come back PERFECT

#saint's inbox !! #saint txt !! #eheheheheh #saint's friends: reign !! #psych tv #leverage #leverage redemption #bones fox #bones tv #alex rider tv #i can get more if anyone would like :3

[sage-knight]

I want to do some kind of year in review. 1) I am far too chaotic for any sort of organized template. These are some of my favorite screenshots I've taken this year. I know I'll never get a ton of notes on what I post, but they've brought me joy. (On the subject of notes, the two most popular posts I've made since I joined tumblr are the most low effort trash and they don't bring me joy, but that ironically does make me laugh.)

Beginning of the year I made an unofficial decision (compulsion?) to focus on my fav OC, my sith inquisitor from swtor. It's become kind of a project seeing where I can stick her. She inspired me to write more, first with swtor then cyberpunk, which is partially why I became so attached. That and I put a lot of myself in her. I will say I have uhhh a weird relationship with my asian heritage? I ended up deleting Ixaphia 1.0 at some point because she reminded me too much of my mom (it was the hair, that hair had to go!) Not to get too real on main, but I think she might have helped me unpack some stuff I didn't even realize were a thing.

For 2024 I'd like to overcome the feeling that I'm wasting my time here posting my little pictures like a sad racoon who is too lazy to make gifs. It's a weird struggle of wanting to share and talk to people but also not wanting to put even the most vague personal details out there. See me, but do not perceive me. It's going great!

As for writing this year, I write sporadically, usually when blorbo thoughts threaten to start leaking out of my ears if I don't get it out. It's not something I share but @meonlyred has been subjected to the p o rn, bc what are friends for. I'm sorry and/or you're welcome. Not ready to put that into the void, but I will throw up the first few paragraphs I ever wrote for my Viktor Vektor fic in hopes that 2024 I actually finish the thing.

Jackie walked over to the punching bag Vik had hanging in the corner of his basement clinic and bounced back and forth giving it a few casual jabs. The man was a hulking fridge of perpetual energy. He sauntered over to some knick-knacks on a shelf and began rearranging them.

“I'm telling you Vik, she won't admit it, but V is sweet on you. I can tell.”

Viktor didn't look up from the equipment he was cleaning. The basic tools of every NC ripperdoc, plus a few he had custom modified for himself. Half the appeal of working back-alley was doing the job better than the corpo wage slaves tied down by miles of red tape. Besides the tiny tremor in his hand, a little souvenir from his boxing days had washed him out of the possibility of trauma team--even if it could be mitigated.

“Nonsense, Viky. You'd be good together! Me and Misty and you two, think of the double dates. Basically what we do already, just make it official-like.”

This time Viktor did stop what he was doing and looked up at his friend over the glasses half-slid down his nose. He took them off and rubbed his temple.

“Jackie--”

He was mercifully interrupted by the metallic clank of the door, before he found himself having to explain yet again why him and V were a bad idea.

“Sorry, Jack. Got an appointment. Still on for tonight? Malone v Hernandez. Fridge is stocked.”

“V will be there too, yeah?”

At the look Viktor shot his way he held his hands up in concession. “Okay, okay. I'll see you tonight. But think about what I said!”

#ele texts