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kikyan · 3 years

Text

Secrets

Yandere Light Yagami x Reader

TW: Yandere, Mentions, and depictions of Sexual Assault towards the Reader,

I do not condone these actions in real life and this is purely fictional and should be taken as fiction.

Check at the end for the yandere discord link if you’re interested in joining!

A loud gasp left [Reader], eyes wide and sweat covering their body in fright. Same shit, different day. Another nightmare and one that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t run away. Sitting up in their bed, they held their head with their hands. Rubbing their eyes slightly to get accustomed to their surroundings. Turning their head slightly, they were met with their alarm clock that read ‘4:39’.

‘Shit…’

It was too early to wake up but they couldn’t go back to sleep no matter how hard they tried. They looked over to their desk to see their homework from last night. It was an essay about the justice system and morals/ethics that was based on a book they were reading in class. It wasn’t completed just yet because [Reader] lost the motivation to write it, but since they were awake they might put their extra time to some use. Walking over to their desk, they reached for the chair before stopping.

‘ I should get a drink of water…’

[Reader] quietly left their room, making sure not to disturb their mother who was surely sleeping in. As they went to the kitchen, they reached for a cup of water and gulped it down in one go. Rubbing their throat to soothe an ache, they went for another cup but took it upstairs. Sitting at their desk and looking over to obtain a pencil, scanning the contents of the assignment, requirements, and what was already written. It wasn’t a lot, just their name and date. Starting with a small thesis that highlighted their main points, they scoffed before looking out their window. It was pitch dark but what they were trying to see wasn’t anything in particular, except for the home that was next to them. It was abandoned and no one was inhabiting it at the moment, but there were so many memories that rest in the very pavement that makes up the home.

Glaring at the house and with a scoff, determination raged inside them as they looked over to their paper. They knew what to write, they knew the feelings they wanted to convey, they knew what justice they wanted at that moment, ethical or not. By the time they finished, it was almost time to get ready so [Reader] ensured that their paper was safely stored away before going about their morning routine to prepare for school. As they finished and were about to head off, they stopped right in front of the house next to them. It was pretty, but beauty isn’t judged from the outside but the inside, the only sad thing is that inside it was like the core of a rotten apple. Inside was horrid and distasteful, but that was downplaying what really transpired in that house. Whereas the outside of the apple was certainly more appealing and so was the house as if it weren’t untouched by time itself. [Reader] bit their lip before turning away from the house, it was best forgotten right now. Making their way to class, they sat down in their assigned seat waiting for the teacher. Looking to the side staring into space, they didn’t notice that someone took his seat next to them, none other than Light Yagami. It wasn’t until they turned to look at their peers did they notice him next to them reading a book. Light looked up and turned to face them, a small smile before saying ‘Good morning’. [Reader] nodded and returned the greeting, before facing the other way, until his voice woke them from his trance.

“ Are you alright [Reader]? You seem awfully quiet.”

“ Just tired, what about you?”

“ Same old. Did you have any trouble with the assignment?”

[Reader] was quiet for a second, Light reading into it but [Reader] noticed and quickly replied with a ‘No, not really.’

“ I see, did you write about anything particular?”

“ W-!”

“ Good morning class, I’ll be taking attendance now so please settle down in your assigned seat.”

[Reader] mentally thanked the teacher for making it in the nick of time. Light Yagami, was an exceptional student no doubt, taking both regular and additional classes yet still managing to get his assignments all turned in on time. He was often paired with [Reader] for group or partnered assignments so they developed a bit of an acquaintance. Friends maybe but anything else would be over-stretching it. They were left pondering his question, yeah they were a bit close but not that much, was there a specific reason for him asking them questions?

‘ No I’m just reading into it too much, it must be with the cases that are arising with these so-called criminals dropping dead. Maybe he wanted to know if what I was writing was directed towards that? Even then, what interest does he have with that-?’

A soft nudge on their arm woke them up, turning to look at Light in confusion.

“[Reader’s Full Name]”.

“ Here.”

The teacher went off to call more names, [Reader] turned to look at Light who just smiled in return.

“ Sorry, the teacher was nearing your name and you seemed out of it, thought I would get you back.”

“ O-oh, thank you I guess…”

That was the end of the conversation, Light facing the class and paying attention with [Reader] trying to do the same but their mind was clouded with both this morning and Light.

‘ What was that about….?’

It wasn’t until the end of class where the teacher offered to collect the papers but was called to attend an emergency.

“ Class representative, do me a favor and collect the papers and drop them off at my office. Excuse me.”

With that, the teacher was gone and the representative gathered the class’s attention. They began to pass up their paper and the bell for dismissal rang. Everyone proceeded to head out, groups forming and discussing after-school activities such as the arcade or a sweets shop. [Reader] packed their bags and proceeded to walk towards the entrance until Light stopped them.

“ [Reader]! Would you like to walk home together, I don’t have cram school to-!?”

“ Yagami! I was wondering if you wanted to help me deliver these papers to the teacher’s office?”

[Reader] saw this as a chance to deny his offer, “ Sorry Light, but maybe some other time?”

“ Sure.”

Light walked with the class representative and headed to the teacher’s office. The representative attempted to make an idle chat with Light, but he wasn’t interested. He replied softly and short, the walk there was awkward but it was even more when the teacher wasn’t present in their office.

“ I-ll goes and try to find them, are you okay with staying here until then?”

“ Of course.”

When the representative left, Light averted his gaze to the papers and lightly skimmed the names until he got to the one he wanted to read upon.

‘ [Reader’s Full Name]’

He grabbed their paper and skimmed the content of the assignment, intrigued with their interpretation of the justice system. While his ideas clashed a bit with theirs, he was understanding of their origin. No matter, he would just have to fix that, change it, he just had to show them how the world truly is and how better it would be without those fears. Upon further reading, he began to see how they agreed with Kira in terms of punishment for the criminals. There was more but this was certainly interesting to find more of their thinking pattern, was it possible that Light had found someone worthy of sharing his ideals?

He contemplated keeping their paper but he realized that if he took it [Reader] would probably get missing in their assignment. The teacher came into the room and thanked the representative and Light for helping them. They both excused themselves and Light proceeded to walk away, his thoughts on [Reader].

‘ You seem awfully interested in that other human. By any chance could it be that you’re willing to let them know about the death note?’

Light closed his eyes and avoided speaking, he still was in the city and not closer to the streets by the houses that were a bit more secluded.

‘ Hey, Light!’

“ How many times have I told you Ryuk, talking to me when we are in public is risky and as a matter of fact I may.”

‘ You think us talking is risky, isn’t letting that other human know riskier?’

“ Yes, sharing information about the Death Note is more than risky, but it may be better to have more than two people knowing about it. If our views match up they can be both a great partner and a good alibi when people start suspecting me. If our views don’t match up, then I’ll simply have their memories erased.”

‘You’re going to let them touch the Death Note too?’

“ In life, you have several people, those who have to see to believe or those who will place their faith blindly in some people. [Reader] doesn’t strike me as the latter so I’ll go with the first one. Besides, if I told them and they did turn, erasing their memories would be a bit more work and risky.”

‘Okay but why them?’

“ Because…[Reader] is someone who you can either bring up or break down. [Reader] is someone who won’t throw a hysteria when faced with the unknown and based on this essay I suspect that there is more to them than what they lead on. That is an advantage over them, but if they step wrong it could also be their downfall. Besides, I’ve always enjoyed my conversations with [Reader], they say so little but so loudly at the same time. Quite interesting.”

‘Light has a crush on someone!’

“ I won’t waste my time on such things, right now I can’t afford to fall for that. My priority is reshaping and rebuilding this world as their new God.”

The conversation was cut short as Light went inside his home and up to his room. He examined the essay through many viewpoints and established that there must have been someone that they hated or wanted to receive punishment, but who?

[Reader] walked to their room and with a heavy sigh collapsed on their bed. Their mother was nowhere to be seen but they were probably out shopping as groceries were lying about in their kitchen. They rested for a while before heading downstairs to put the groceries away, the T.V playing in the background. It wasn’t anything serious until the news segment was announced.

‘ Breaking news! It is rumored to believe that [Inmate Name] may be released this upcoming week for good behavior. It seems that there have been sever-’

Silence. The T.V was turned off as [Reader] began panicking and hyperventilating. Memories of that morning began rushing to their head and their body began to enter into an automatic response, their knees weak but adrenaline was pumping. There was no one around them to assist them so they began to assess the situation themselves. Their heart was racing but it wasn’t anything too serious, just a panic attack and not a heart attack. They tried to steady their breathing by counting and focusing their attention on an object of some sort. They turned to a small painting of a floral garden that their mother had on the wall, they began to engrave all their focus on it trying to steady their breathing. Slowly but surely they began to calm down, but the uneasiness was still there. After a while, they grabbed a glass of water and calmly began to drink the water. The groceries were almost all put away but [Reader] left the non-perishables out as they went up to their room and began to lie on the bed. Sleep slowly overcame them, their dreams turned into nightmares.

It was a hot summer, but the kids were out and still playing out by the park. [Reader] and some neighboring kids were out and about playing tag.

“ I want to be it!”

“ No! You were it last time!”

“ How about we play rock-paper-scissors to determine who is it?”

“ Fine!”

“ ROCK! PAPER! SCISSORS!”

“ Aw darn it I lost!”

“ And I didn’t win this time either!”

“ Well, the rest of you hide and I’ll go count.”

“Okay!”

The kids scattered and began hiding in some spots, [Reader] struggled to find a spot that wasn’t already claimed by the other kids. Those were all her spots that guaranteed her success, but the other kids took them. [Reader] asked if they could hide with the other kids but they all shushed them away.

[Reader] was running out of time until they heard a voice.

“ Hey [Reader] are you playing hide-n-go-seek?”

“ Y-yeah. . .”

“ Here, why don’t you hide behind me?”

A man with a warm smile offered, the man wasn’t a stranger at all to [Reader] or their family since he was their father’s co-worker and best friend.

“ Okay!”

They were hiding and they were doing a pretty good job, they weren’t at all found until they all decided to call off the game.

“ We can’t find [Reader]! Where are they?”

“ [Reader]! You win so just come out!”

“[Reader]!!”

[Reader] popped out from where the stranger was and laughed, “ So I win again!”

“ Where were you? We were so worried!”

“ I was hiding behind him!”

[Reader] pointed at the man on the bench, he waved softly. The kids felt a bit uneasy but their mothers came to collect the kids. [Reader]’s mom showed up to collect her but stopped when she saw the man. She smiled and waved at him.

“ What are you doing out here?”

“ Oh, miss [Last Name]. I was going grocery shopping when I spotted [Reader] playing. Hope I didn’t interrupt or do something wrong.”

“ No that’s quite alright, I was just surprised. Though it’s a bit late for groceries.”

“ Yes work caught up with me but I’d figured I go get something to make my dinner tonight-!?”

“ Why don’t you come to eat with us? My husband isn’t staying overnight at work so he should be home soon. In the meantime, you can help me with dinner or hang around the house? It should be fine.”

“ I don’t mean to impose on you-”

“ Please I insist, it must be so hard for a single man to balance everything. You have friends so I suggest that you start learning how to say yes and let yourself be taken care of one in a while!”

“ T-thank you [Mom’s first name].”

With that, small chatter filled their home as they prepared dinner. [Reader] was playing with their toys and even invited their family friend to join them. When their father arrived home, they sat around and ate dinner. They all had a pleasant time, laughing and smiling. Telling jokes and even discussing life and the future. It wasn’t until it was a bit too late and past [Reader’s] bedtime did he leave and give his thanks for having him over. [Reader] lay in their bed, their mother tucking them in and bidding them a good night’s rest.

“ Mom, does [Family Friend] have kids or a wife?”

“ Why the sudden question?”

“ He looks lonely and I don’t see him with kids.”

“ [Reader], he had a wife and two kids. It’s just, they are no longer here. They left.”

“ Where did they go?”

“ They went somewhere better. Now sleep [Reader].”

“Okay mommy.”

The days continued like nothing else, there would be times where the [Reader] would be taken care of by [Family Friend] because their mother had a doctor’s appointment and their father was at work. [Reader] stayed at his house, eating small snacks that he prepared for her as he sat on the couch just staring at her.

“ Hey [Family Friend], do you have a wife or kids?”

Silence loomed the room before he turned to face her and shook his head.

“ Not anymore [Reader], they all left me.”

“ Why? You’re not a bad person.”

“ Thank you, but they didn’t leave like that. Something happened to them and they are no longer here with us, but enough of that, what do you want to do?”

“ Hm, let’s play a game.”

“ Okay, a game it is!”

It was days like these that the faith one had in another human was shown. Back then people slept with their windows open and some even with the doors unlocked, but that faith was stolen from [Reader]. It was a day where both her parents were busy so their neighbor was in charge of taking care of her for a couple of hours. Nobody knows how or why it happened, but nightmares plague that home as a grim reminder that the ones we trust are just another wolf in sheep's clothing.

“ Hey, [Reader]?”

“ Yes?”

“ I want to play a game. . . but it has to be a secret.”

“ A secret?”

“ Mhm, not many people know about this game so this can be our little secret, like a secret code.”

“ Okay, but what’s the game?”

“Well. . .”

His hand lay on her shoulder, rubbing it softly before his other hand rested on his thigh, he rubbed it lightly causing her to flinch before he let go.

“ [Reader], you know I would never hurt you. . .right?”

“ Yeah. . .”

“ This isn’t hurting you, I only want to play a game. It’ll be fun for the both of us I promise, I don’t want to hurt you. . . I love you. . .”

His hand placement resumed as he went higher and lower. That was when the nightmare began, and it didn’t end for seven years.

[Reader] awoke with a loud gasp, their hands instantly reaching to their body. No one was here in their room, they had to reassure themselves over and over again before reaching over to where their clock lay. It was almost 8 pm but they decided upon bathing before doing anything else. They went to the bathroom and proceeded to bathe, using the products they deemed necessary. Once they were done, they wore comforting clothes and went to bed. Though it was hard to fall asleep in fear of that dream.

The next day they awoke earlier than usual, going on about their day and proceeding to do their morning routine. They began walking to school promptly and proceeded to go to their seat. Light walked in moments later and took his seat next to them, smiling and greeting them. The teacher soon walked in and class started all over again, nothing new was changing so why should they worry-

“ [Reader’s Last Name], see me after class.”

[Reader] looked up and panicked slightly, was it about what they wrote?

‘ It can’t be, I mean this class is crawling with Kira supporters and those who don’t, mine must have been the least controversial-’

“ [Reader], is everything okay?”

“ Y-yeah. . .”

At the end of class, [Reader] walked to their teacher’s office and waited patiently for them. Thoughts running through their head, am I going to get called out? What’s going to happen, will everyone know wh-!

“ [Reader’s Last Name], I want to discuss with you something regarding your essay submission.”

‘Shit so it was about that! Fuck what do I say-’

“ You didn’t turn it in.”

‘Huh?’

“ W-what do you mean?”

“ It was not in the pile with the others, since this isn’t a rare occasion but I remember slightly. You pulled it from your bag so I’m assuming that either the class representative lost it or it was misplaced. Would you mind rewriting it? I’ll give you an extension on it of course, but I would like it submitted by the end of next week.”

“ S-sure.”

“ That is all, have a great rest of your day [Reader’s Last Name].”

They nodded and proceeded to walk away, but anger laced their face the moment they were out of view.

‘ You’ve got to be kidding me, lost? That’s not my fault, if anything I shouldn’t have to rewrite. If they saw me, they should give me full credit!’

“ [Reader], would you like to walk home?”

They looked up to see that it was Light Yagami. They were a bit hesitant and were about to say no until they realized that it might be nice to distract their mind.

“ Sure.”

They began to walk home, but awkward silence loomed over them.

“ If you don’t mind me asking, what did the teacher want to talk to you about?”

“ Just that. . . my assignment was missing and I have to redo it. I turned it in but it’s lost apparently, did you notice the paper was missing or if the rep lost it?”

“ No sorry, but I can help you work on it if you’d like.”

“ Thank you, I might take you up on that.”

“ Well we’ve arrived at my home, why don’t you come in?”

“ I shouldn’t impose-”

“ Nonsense, any friend of Light is welcomed here!”

They both turned around to face an older woman, one that held some resemblance to Light and was assumed as his mother.

“ O-oh I should-”

“ Please I insist!”

With that, it was decided that [Reader] would stay over and have dinner with them. In the meantime, they were up in Light’s room preparing to do the assignment. Once they got settled down and his mother brought up snacks, did the real purpose of his invite begin. Halfway through discussing the thesis and beginning, did Light begin to ask strange questions?

“ [Reader], how do you feel about Kira?”

“ Why?”

“ No reason, I guess it’s all the publicity Kira has been getting that I assume you may have your own opinion.”

“ Well. . .Kira punishes criminals so without a doubt yes, I guess you can say that I'm somewhat thankful that Kira is there. However, there are some flaws with that, let’s say petty crime and theft aren’t punishable by death, Kira would only be acting like an executioner, not a judge. Yet, I think that Kira is going about it the right way. The difference is that some people attempt to stop crime, you can’t stop what is happening because someone will always stand up or do something, but you can control crime.”

Light remained quiet before speaking silently, “ What would you do if Kira were sitting in front of you?”

“ What?”

“ What would you do if Kira were sitting in front of you? What would you do if Kira was me, [Reader].”

Silence overcame [Reader], thinking about their answer they spoke.

“ If you were Kira, I would question your methods and motives.”

“ Hm, interesting. Would you really like to see how Kira kills?”

“ What?”

“ Normally talking about this out in the open to a stranger would be a bit risky, I wouldn’t by any means do this, that is if I were Kira. Yet, it seems that if I were Kira I could trust you based on what you wrote in your essay.”

Light unfolded the essay that was in his pocket, showing it to [Reader]. They were a bit confused and in shock, why did Light have their essay, and what was he going on about?

“ Why do you have my essay? I didn’t think that this would be interesting for someone like you Light.”

“ Well, let’s say I’ve had an interest in you for a long time, ever since we met you could say. Unlike most of our peers not only were you more open-minded but you thought for yourself, not letting others blindly tell you what to think. Based on this essay, I can trust you. . .[Reader], I’m Kira.”

Confusion stuck them, did they really want to humor him, but even then Light might have been Kira. He not only had the brains to be in hiding for so long, but his ideas were lined up a bit with most people.

“ I’ll bite, are you really Kira?”

“ I am, now would you like to know who I do it?”

“ . . .Sure.”

[Reader] walked closer, watching as Light revealed a black notebook with the words ‘Death Note’ written on it. They were confused, to say the least, but they also knew better than to laugh it off and to let him explain.

“ This is a death note, a notebook that allows me to write the name of an individual and they die. I can choose the method of death and time, the only other requirement aside from their full name is an image of their face.”

Light stood there, with both a serious face yet a smirk lightly playing at his lips. Was this true? They were about to ask more questions until Light interrupted them, “ Upon reading your essay, I think that there is someone who you want gone. Here try it for yourself, touch the notebook.”

[Reader] stiffened a bit before nodding, they hesitantly went to touch the notebook. If Light was Kira and was telling the truth, [Reader] instantly became an accessory to the crime, to make matters worse now that Light told them, based on their reaction they could either die or live. Upon touching the notebook, they were met with a horrid creature looking at them with bloodshot red eyes and a smirk on their lips. They looked anything but human and as [Reader] was about to react, they stopped. Light smiled at the sight, they were smart no doubt about it.

‘ Screaming would alert the mom and who knows what that would cause. On one hand, I could tell his mom that I want to leave but I'll surely die by knowing his identity. If I tell his mom about her son being Kira I would be mocked at and made fun of, all I can do is play along for right now.’

“ Open the notebook, look at all the names. With this, we can rid the world of criminals and clean up the streets, isn’t it great?”

“ Isn’t your father a policeman? Why would you-“

“ Because what they are doing isn’t enough, crimes inspire other crimes and it will never stop. By controlling crime with fear we can make the world a better place for kindhearted people like us. You can’t stop crime because it will always happen, but you can control it, that's what my father and the others do. They try to control it through the system, but the system is flawed. With this, we can control it better than they can. Here [Reader], write someone’s name, I know you want to.”

[Reader] was given a name and the notebook was flipped to a blank piece of paper. Light was awaiting their actions as [Reader] looked uncomfortable at the concept. Who was to say that they could play judge and executioner? They were contemplating until the T.V was playing the news channel about [Inmate Name]. Their heart stopped and Light made note of that, he walked over to the T.V and turned up the volume. The sickening sound of his name being played over and over again was like knives or nails on the chalkboard. A horrid sound, the sound of the end, it was a grim reminder that their life was in someone’s hand.

‘ [Inmate Name] will be released today at 4 PM, here we have the news studio wanting to interview him. This was the man that escaped the death penalty due to lack of evidence-‘

‘ lack of evidence?’

The room went cold, their heart sank. He was leaving jail, because of the lack of evidence? Their breath started to increase as tears ran down their cheeks, they rapidly shook their head in attempts to calm themselves and began counting.

‘ aren’t I evidence enough? He abused me. . . I am the evidence. I am the walking and living proof of his crimes. . ‘

‘ I love you [Reader]. . .’

[Reader’s] heart stopped, his voice echoing in their head as the memories were replaying again tormenting them.

‘ You know I’ll never hurt you right?’

‘ I love you [Reader]. . . ‘

‘ Let’s play a game. . .’

‘ This can be our secret, like a secret code only we know!’

‘This can be our secret. . ‘

‘ This can be our secret’

‘ Our secret’

‘ I love you. . .[Reader]’

With a heavy sob that slightly confused and alerted Light, [Reader] wrote his name with such haste, with handwriting that was barely legible handwriting and his face clouded their mind like a rainy day. Tears slipped from them as they wrote his method of death, one that they deemed he needed. His execution was set and upon million watching the T.V, [Inmates Name] died a horrible and gruesome death on national T.V. [Reader] stayed crying as they watched the T.V through teary eyes, Light holding them close rubbing their back. He smiled, this wasn’t such a bad plan after all. Through the sobs, he was surprised his mother didn’t come up, but unknown to him she was outside talking to some neighbors and his sister wasn’t home just yet. As they started to calm down slightly, Light provided soothing words of comfort before whispering,

“ We can clean up these streets [Reader], don’t worry. . .this can be our little secret.”

I apologize to the anon that requested this because as you can see there is no NSFW and very little of what they wanted. I am prepared to write more to the story if needed just let me know as I would like to rewatch the series before continuing. I have also opened up a yandere discord server to interact and will be running it with other close friends and @seiyasabi. Please check their content because they are really good!

DISCORD LINK: https://discord.gg/ZMCfGCeN

#yandere #yandere anime #yandere fic #yandere fanfiction #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere light #yandere light yagami #yandere light yagami x reader #yandere light x reader #Light Yagami #light x reader #light yagami x reader #yandere smut #yandere death note #Death Note

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appleflavoredkitkats · 3 years

Text

Manipulation of the Most Vulnerable

An Analysis of Fundy’s Dream in Las Nevadas Episode 3

i. INTRODUCTION

This essay is going to be analyzing the entirety of Fundy’s portion in Las Nevadas’ third episode. Like always, do not view this essay as gospel as I am not a flawless human being; I am merely giving my own personal opinions and thoughts about the scene. Additionally, all the people referred to in this essay pertains to the content creators’ fictional counterparts on the Dream SMP.

If you enjoy the essay, or just want to support me in general, reblogging the essay will mean so much to me! I work hard on these essays, so I do hope you get to enjoy them.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: manipulation, mentions of past violence, terrible mental states, possibly c!Quackity critical, insecurities, and self-worth issues

ii. QUACKITY’S BLATANT MANIPULATION AND THE DREAM SEQUENCE

What is a Legacy?

Legacy (ˈle-gə-sē)

“Something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past.”

As we begin discovering one’s purpose in life, naturally, we do anything in our power to fulfil them. But as we begin to do more, to get closer and closer to achieving our sense of purpose in this world, sometimes we have to ask ourselves: Is it enough? How much have I truly changed and impacted through my life’s purpose? Will what I do be deemed worthy enough for people to remember me by? Is this my legacy?

What is a legacy?

If you are a Hamilton fan like me, you might look at that and respond with “it’s planting seeds in a garden we never get to see.” But truly, what is a legacy? Can our legacies simply be defined by everything we’ve achieved in our lifetime no matter how big or small they might be, or is it defined by creating notable shifts in society that people will remember you by for centuries and centuries?

[full essay is under the cut! it’s 7k words :0]

To Quackity, your legacy is what something history remembers you by. Quackity is a very caring man, and at first, he believed he could guarantee his safety through pacifism. But after his conversation with Wilbur, he realized that the only way he can gain peace is through power, and to gain power, one has to be violent. That is the only way he could make a change in the Dream SMP, to guarantee his safety. He has to make as much noise as possible before he can finally lay low and rest.

And if his plans do succeed, if he can finally bring peace in the SMP despite achieving it through very torturous means, then he can have a wondrous legacy people can remember him by. To me, I’m not exactly sure if he prioritizes his safety through gaining power or his legacy more, but either way, a great legacy may be a byproduct of his plans for peace if executed correctly.

If he succeeds in creating a positive legacy for himself, a positive legacy for Las Nevadas, then there is a chance that he may guarantee that other people who join him may have a similar legacy as well.

This is what he promises to Foolish, Purpled, and Fundy. These three, in Quackity’s eyes, are people with the potential of being something, but have stayed on the sidelines for too long. So, knowing that the entire SMP has lacked recognition and respect for these three members, Quackity gives them a misleading ultimatum: Join Quackity and have a chance to finally be highly recognized in the SMP, or deny his request and become nothing.

The truth is, our legacies as human beings don’t have to be defined by how remembered we are if we don’t want it to be that way. But with Quackity’s charm and with how vulnerable Foolish, Purpled, and Fundy are, it’s easy for Quackity to make them believe whatever he tells them to believe.

Fundy’s Low Self-Worth

Out of the three, I think Fundy established his low sense of self-worth for the longest time. Ever since L’Manberg, it’s evident that Fundy didn’t like being infantilized by anyone. Despite this, Fundy is seen to appeal to any bout of recognition he can get. Whether it’d be Quackity giving him more recognition than Wilbur during the Elections, or Schlatt complimenting him on his hard work for Manberg, or him appreciating anyone who claims they want to adopt him, Fundy will easily appeal to recognition and praise. I’d even argue that he dictates his own self-worth depending on how much people give him recognition.

And now, with Fundy being the most isolated and alone he has ever been, he is very much vulnerable to, well, anything, really. If Quackity decides to manipulate Fundy to join Las Nevadas, he doesn’t have to do much. Even the smallest bouts of recognition, the smallest threats, the smallest anything can be enough to push him to do whatever Quackity wants because, again, Fundy is currently at his lowest state possible.

While I’ll discuss more on Quackity’s manipulation tactics later, we can easily denote how little Quackity did to make Fundy feel pressured enough to agree to his request. Fundy’s entire portion was literally thirteen minutes long. As much as Fundy stuttered and protested a bit when Quackity told him he didn’t matter, Fundy was mostly silent during the last few scenes.

Fundy depends on other people to dictate his self-worth, so when he’s the most alone he’s ever been, of COURSE he clings onto the first opportunity he gets to finally be remembered once again. No matter how many times he’s been warned by Phil and his dreams, no matter how much he can protest against Quackity, Fundy realizes that this is the best opportunity he can get to receive even an ounce of recognition.

Even if it is, well, fake. It’s better than nothing, he supposes.

Was the Quackity We Saw Real?

From what I’ve understood, I think that it is heavily implied that Fundy’s dream sequence will become a reality. At 1:16:42 of Quackity’s stream, Dream!Quackity says, “Fundy! My good ol’ friend, how’ve you been?” which is exactly the same thing the real Quackity says in 1:25:57.

Additionally, a lot of Quackity’s word choices in Fundy’s dream sequence make so much more sense if you applied them in real life. This is how I believed the entire dream sequence could be applied to reality: Fundy wakes up in the same home with Quackity outside of his door. They stroll through nature for a while before approaching the remains of L’Manberg. While their conversation about the decorations might’ve been done above the crater, I think that the entire Camarvan scene was set in Eret’s museum, something not too far away from the crater. Afterwards, the last scene takes place they return back to L’Manberg, entering Eret’s abandoned tower.

I’m going to list down everything said that could possibly hint that this dream sequence will happen in real life. There’ll also be some additional notes for certain quotes I’d love to expound on.

“Take a walk with me, take a little walk with me. Don’t you enjoy the fresh air? Don’t you enjoy the beautiful outdoors? I sure do.” - Quackity, 1:16:52-1:17:01

If we substitute the current scenery with where Fundy’s home actually is, I do think it makes a lot more sense as Fundy kind of lives in the middle of the woods.

“What do you mean ‘how am I here’, Fundy? I found you! It’s exactly what I wanted to do- was to find you. And you know- you’re a hard person to find. But I’m glad I found you!” - Quackity, 1:17:16-1:17:27

Fundy has recently built a new house in the middle of the woods and has not told anyone in the SMP about his whereabouts. Again, if you substitute the current scenery with Fundy’s actual home, then what Quackity’s saying makes a lot more sense.

“Fundy, don’t you enjoy the great outdoors? It feels so free! It feels so full of life, full of energy, don’t you think, Fundy?” - Quackity, 1:17:37-1:17:49

Something something, substitute the scenery with the forest Fundy lives in, something something.

“What is this place?”

“Fundy, you should know this place better than anyone. You should know it better than anyone, Fundy, what do you mean ‘what is this place’? You should know it better than anyone else, Fundy. You and me, actually! You don’t remember what this place is, what it means? Come on, don’t tell me you already forgot.” - Fundy and Quackity, 1:18:03-1:18-26

If this was set above the crater, this piece of dialogue also makes sense.

“What is all of this doing here? It was gone, it was blown up-”

“This was home, Fundy, it was home! No, Fundy, it’s always been here, we’ve always been here. You and me, we’ve always been here.” - Fundy and Quackity, 1:19:48-1:20:01

To explain the Camarvan- I do think that there’s a possibility that they entered Eret’s museum and viewed it from there. Additionally, Quackity’s response can still be applied in the real world if you interpret his statements as “Well, it’s blown up, but we still consider this place as home! ‘Home’ still exists, you know?”.

While we can’t fully confirm whether Fundy’s real meeting with Quackity went as it did in the dream, I do think that something would have happened in a similar fashion. After all, we did see Fundy at the end of Foolish’s stream “Las Nevadas - Dream SMP (LORE)” at Las Nevadas. Maybe he was also manipulated and offered the same thing Dream!Quackity offered in real life?

Quackity’s Manipulation

Here comes the juicy bit. If we assume that what Quackity did in Fundy’s dream will also happen in real life, then I will refer to everything in that dream as fact, okay? Now, I think it’s clear to everyone that Quackity is a really good manipulator. He is meticulous with his word choice and can make his statements sound believable through his charm.

I’ll try explaining all the tactics he uses here, then later, I’ll list down everything Quackity says and try to connect it back to different manipulation tactics I’ve mentioned.

The tactic Quackity uses the most is how he uses pronouns. When Quackity refers to himself with the “I” pronoun, he always seems to present as a good friend to Fundy, as Fundy’s savior. This can also be applied when he uses the “we” pronoun as he implies that certain accomplishments were only achieved when Fundy did it WITH Quackity. When he refers to Fundy using the “you” pronoun, he always does it to remind Fundy of certain mishaps and mistakes. As if to say that these awful situations were Fundy’s fault, not Quackity’s. This tactic is mostly used for victims of manipulation to believe that their manipulators are their saviors, that their manipulators can do no wrong. At the same time, they begin to doubt their own selves as their manipulators continuously associate these victims with negative words.

Another tactic Quackity uses is praise and speaking on behalf of Fundy. It doesn’t happen as much as the first tactic, but at certain parts, Quackity seems to be instructing Fundy what he’s feeling. That he doesn’t matter, that he won’t be remembered; you don’t even notice that Fundy barely even spoke in the dream sequence because Quackity mostly spoke on his behalf. Additionally, during the L’Manberg scenes, Quackity continuously praised Fundy. Not only does the constant praise butter Fundy up, but it also preys on Fundy’s insecurities. If Fundy depends on others to dictate his self-worth, then of COURSE Quackity praising Fundy could be easily seen as manipulation as Quackity uses Fundy’s insecurities for his own advantages.

Another tactic Quackity uses is that he constantly brings up their past of working together to make it seem like it’s them versus the rest of the world. Never has Quackity looked like the flawed person in the conversation. Never has Quackity brought up the fact that they’ve fought multiple times in New L’Manberg . Quackity made it seem like that the others were in the wrong, that they were both victims of unfortunate circumstances, but Quackity always remarked that they were able to make it through everything together.

Lastly, this is less frequent, but at certain parts of the sequence, Quackity outright ignores questions uttered by Fundy and changes the subject to talk about something else. Literally just ignored him. Do I even have to explain why Quackity ignoring Fundy could possibly be a manipulation tactic to make Fundy feel more inferior?

Now, there are probably more manipulation tactics I’ve missed, but granted, I am NOT in any way an expert and wouldn’t know the specifics when it comes to gaslighting. Even then, we can all agree that Quackity is, indeed, manipulating Fundy, and to further expound on this, I’m going to list down every single line or action done by Quackity and explain why they could be considered as manipulation.

I do want to mention that, when viewing some of these lines alone, they may not SEEM to be manipulative, but we also have to consider that successful manipulation and gaslighting is a gradual process. A single, harmless-seeming line can be damaging when you view the full scope of things.

“Fundy! My good ol’ friend, how’ve you been?” - Quackity, 1:16:42-1:16:46

A lot of the quotes here are going to follow the first tactic I’ve mentioned where Quackity continuously uses first-person pronouns to make Fundy think positively when it comes to Quackity, but uses second-person pronouns to antagonize Fundy.

“What do you mean ‘how am I here’, Fundy? I found you! It’s exactly what I wanted to do- was to find you. And you know- you’re a hard person to find. But I’m glad I found you! I think that’s the most important thing: that we are here together now. And I am finally speaking to you- I think that’s the greatest thing!” - Quackity, 1:17:16-1:17:35

This, I think, is the first comment from Quackity that screams “SUS.” While we can interpret it in a literal sense, we can also view it in a metaphorical sense. Quackity is claiming that Fundy is hard to find, but despite the difficulty, Quackity found him! Amongst everyone in the SMP, it’s Quackity who is the first to find him! That’s what Quackity wants Fundy to believe: that Quackity is his savior for finding him, that it’s better for Fundy to even be here WITH him. The “greatest thing”, apparently, is Quackity being able to speak to Fundy, and nothing else.

“Fundy, don’t you enjoy the great outdoors? It feels so free! It feels so full of life, full of energy, don’t you think, Fundy?” - Quackity, 1:17:37-1:17:49

While I’m not sure if this counts, I do think Quackity’s insistence that Fundy enjoys the great outdoors kind of implies that Quackity is speaking on behalf of Fundy. Additionally, he doesn’t even let Fundy reply to his question? At the beginning, he repeatedly asks Fundy how he is, but he never gives Fundy an opportunity to reply. Either Fundy seems too dazed out of thought, or Quackity immediately interrupts Fundy and says something else.

Now we get to the “you” pronouns. Quackity repeatedly insists that Fundy should have known better, or Fundy should have had better memory. This adds onto the idea that Quackity attributes positive ideas to himself, but whenever something’s wrong, he blames it on Fundy.

“You’re telling me you don’t remember that place right there? When we had the huge elections? Or how about… Fundy, do you remember when we tried to kill Technoblade and we failed? That’s where I got my scar! What about the festival? Do you remember the festival, Fundy? The balloons and the decorations. I never had anything to do with the decorations, Fundy, I- I just… sat back and watched people do it because I’m not good with decorations but… you know.” - Quackity, 1:18:29-1:19:05

Now, Quackity begins to remind Fundy about their joint past together. While not seemingly manipulative, Quackity is basically trying to remind Fundy that there are multiple instances in the past where they were allies, implying that now, they must still be allies. Quackity is trying to remind Fundy that they worked best when they were together, giving Fundy the impression that Quackity is someone to be trusted. It doesn’t help when later on, we realize that Quackity is doing all this sweet talk only for him to convince Fundy to join Las Nevadas. Additionally, during Quackity’s spiel, he continues to ignore a lot of Fundy’s remarks and questions.

“What about the elections? You were part of the elections, do you remember? You were- you ran for president too!”

“I did! And I got the worst votes. I did not even get close…”

“But you tried and I think that was the most important thing. You ran with Niki and you made the Coconut party.”

“Yeah! We tried.” - Quackity and Fundy, 1:19:14-1:19:36

Quackity’s buttering him up. Most people tend to ignore Fundy and Niki’s party in the elections, and I think this is the first time I’ve seen someone acknowledge it in a positive manner? Again, Fundy thrives when receiving recognition, so complimenting him is an easy way for Quackity to get Fundy to trust him. But of course, he has to keep compliments to a minimum because he doesn’t want Fundy feeling too confident about himself.

“Is that what I think it is? It’s the van, Fundy! Do you remember all the great memories we had in the van?”

“What is all this doing here? This is crazy!”

“No, this is home, Fundy! This is home.”

“What is all of this doing here? It was gone, it was blown up-”

“This was home, Fundy, it was home! No, Fundy, it’s always been here, we’ve always been here. You and me, we’ve always been here.” - Quackity and Fundy, 1:19:41-1:20:02

Quackity is asserting that a lot of good memories were born from the van. Granted, he does acknowledge that they’ve had some arguments in the van later on, but their conversation seemed too… optimistic. Quackity convinces Fundy that they’ve shared a lot of good experiences when they were in the van together even if we KNOW that in NLM, most of the time, they only used the van when they had to discuss an awful issue. But Quackity here is convincing him that them working together in this van was HOME to Fundy. He’s convincing Fundy that he can always find a home in their friendship when we know that’s probably false.

“The amount of times we came here when we were incredibly stressed, but we always- we always figured out a way, I mean, I guess.”

“We always figured out a way, Fundy, we always figured out a way.” - Fundy and Quackity, 1:20:15-1:20:26

And see? The manipulation is working. Fundy’s beginning to look at his past with a positive light because Quackity’s trying to convince him that all the experiences they’ve shared together are great. And Quackity agrees to Fundy’s statement! Again, he’s building up Fundy’s trust in Quackity by convincing him that their moments together in the past were all sunshine and rainbows.

“Oh that brings back memories- I mean, I don’t know if they’re good memories- It’s literally a drug lab, but… yeah, you know-”

“Everything is good memories, Fundy. All the experience and everything we did together. You know I wasn’t here for the start but I was sure part of everything, you know, towards the end, when it was all, you know, just blatantly destroyed. But it’s here now! That’s what matters is that it’s here, and that it’s never actually gone.” - Fundy and Quackity, 1:20:41-1:21:09

And here’s Quackity reaffirming that yes, every experience we had in the past is good, and that we should acknowledge them as good memories. Fundy seemed like he was going to doubt the goodness of his memories, but Quackity immediately interjects, convincing him that it is. He tells Fundy that their moments together is really all that matters. These so-called “good memories” still exist, and Quackity implies that these memories can still live on because their friendship is still as stable as it was in the past. Something something, Quackity convinces Fundy that their friendship is good so he can build trust and get Fundy to do whatever he wants later on, something something.

“Fundy do you remember when- when L’Manberg was destroyed? It was blown up to pieces!”

“Everything was gone. It was done multiple times. Every time it was reb-”

“There was nothing we can do about it. There’s nothing we can do about it- unless you can do something about it.” - Quackity and Fundy, 1:21:22-1:21:41

Now here’s where Quackity begins to ask something from Fundy. Here, Quackity’s seen leading Fundy to Eret’s tower, so you know things are about to go down. Here, Quackity implies Fundy can do something about this cycle of violence, but what Quackity wants Fundy to do seems kind of… vague. He’s leading Fundy on, motivating Fundy he can do something, but not mentioning what he can actually do. This is so that afterwards, when Quackity presents his plan, Fundy may believe that it may help stop the cycle of violence in the SMP. Additionally, Quackity implies that all of this depends on Fundy, so Fundy may feel obligated to accept the plan, but in reality, Quackity may be possibly recruiting Fundy for his own benefit.

“Look, look up! It’s a tower.”

“The amount of battles we’ve fought from up here… down on Dream and Technoblade as well.”

“Yeah, Fundy! You remember that, right?”

“Yeah, I do!”

“Remember all these things we did for our country. It was great!” - Quackity and Fundy, 1:21:52-1:22:13

This is like the millionth time Quackity asks if Fundy remembered a certain “good” experience they had, as if he really wanted Fundy to believe that they were genuinely good memories. And here, we finally see Fundy respond positively, now fully believing that these memories were, indeed, great. It seems like Quackity has finally gotten Fundy to trust him completely by this point.

“But you know what, Fundy? Those memories don’t matter. None of that matters, Fundy. All these structures, all these things we’ve built together- it’s here now, but it’s really gone! And none of it matters, nor will it ever matter. Fundy, if you think about it, YOU don’t matter.” - Quackity, 1:22:18-1:22:46

Here we go, boys. Quackity begins to reveal his true intentions to Fundy. Here, he practically confirms that he doesn’t actually think highly of those past experiences as much as he claimed he did earlier. Again, all of it was a ploy for him to get Fundy to trust him, and now, Quackity begins to reveal his true plans. Additionally, Quackity begins discussing legacies again, or I guess, his perception of what a legacy is. This view on legacies is honestly quite an awful perspective for Fundy as he already has trouble finding a sense of self-worth on his own. Now that Quackity is telling him that he’s nothing unless he does something about it, Fundy’s perception on self-worth will become even more skewed.

“Along with all these structures and everything in ‘em, you’re gonna fade away just like it. Do you see how the sand in the winds slowly deteriorates the structure that we stand upon right now? That’s what’s gonna happen to you, but it’s not gonna be sand and wind, it’s gonna be time, Fundy. It’s gonna be time. You don’t matter, Fundy, that’s what you have to realize. You WON’T matter if you don’t change things up. That’s why you’re in the position that you’re in right now.” - Quackity, 1:22:49-1:23-26

Again with the same legacy talk. As much as we know that Quackity is a master manipulator, I still wonder if he genuinely wants to provide Fundy a real legacy, or is trying to use Fundy to benefit his own legacy. Either way, no matter how genuine Quackity’s concerns are, this perspective on self-worth is still a toxic philosophy for someone like Fundy who needs to learn that self-worth depends on yourself and not some other factors like other people and legacies.

Also, gotta mention that he’s doing the pronoun switch again. He didn’t say “I think you don’t matter,” he says, “YOU don’t matter”. It’s very subtle, but Quackity switching pronouns means he’s trying to emphasize that these horrible things Fundy is experiencing is Fundy’s fault entirely.

“But, you know what? It doesn’t have to be that way, and I can help you. I have big plans, Fundy. I have big plans… and, you know what? As a fellow cabinet member, I wanna bring you in on these plans because I know the experience you have. I know what you’ve been through because I’ve been through it as well. You can change things and be something. You don’t have to end up like this structure: alone, destroyed, nothing else to it. Fundy, Fundy, all you have to do is join me. Join me in my projects. I’ll give you the tools to succeed. I’ll give you the tools to finally be someone because you’re nobody right now. Nothing’s gonna happen if you let time take you away, Fundy. I can help you be someone. You can join me, Fundy. You can join me in the things that I’m doing. And I know you have the capacity to do big things, but the way things are right now, you’re not gonna be anything. You’re never gonna be anything. You’re gonna end up just like this building. You’re gonna end up alone. You’re gonna let time take you away. You’re going to die, and no one is going to remember you… just like it happened in L’Manberg. You understand now what I’m saying Fundy?”

“What do you expect me to do? What do you expect me to do?”

“Take the tools that I’m giving you, Fundy. Take the tools and do something big. I’m offering them to you right now. You can have ‘em. You can be someone else. You can be someone big. Fundy, I’m gonna give you ten seconds to decide.” - Quackity and Fundy, 1:23:46-1:25:31

And this is quite long, but notice the shift in pronouns. When using “you” like in the previous quote, Quackity attributed it with something negative, but now he’s using “I” and he’s attributing it to something positive. He claims that while Fundy might be in a terrible position, Quackity can save him, can help him.

Additionally, Quackity is trying to speak on Fundy’s behalf once more. He claims that he understands, describing what Fundy might possibly feel like in thorough detail. Now that Fundy trusts him, Fundy can’t protest. Sure, he did utter a few murmurs, but by the end of Quackity’s spiel, he somewhat agrees.

And he offers him the misleading ultimatum: join Quackity, or you will be nothing. With the amount of times Quackity has planted that Fundy is the cause of his own demise and the amount of times Quackity poses as a solution to Fundy’s own problems, of COURSE Fundy feels pressured to accept the offer. Even if he was warned by the book, even if Fundy is possibly smarter than what he leads on, Fundy was extremely gaslit to the point where he thinks accepting the offer is the most ideal choice. And that’s what he (presumably) does. He accepts it.

iii. POSSIBLE SYMBOLISMS

Just like Fundy’s first Las Nevadas lore stream, this stream is also littered with possible symbolisms. So, I’ll try my best to explain them all.

Experience Points and Numbers

Now, I want to emphasize that as much as I am a mathematics nerd, I may be calculating this incorrectly. But anyway, Fundy is seen to have two different levels: 3 in the overworld, and 7 in his dream.

Let’s focus on the overworld first:

So, as much as I’d like to dig into the number 3, I do think we have to take note of the EXP more than the level Fundy’s on. To get to the third level, you’d need 27 EXP. To calculate for the remaining, we have to denote that he needs 13 EXP to get to the next level. We have to note down that approximately 15/18 bars are filled, so 15/18 of 13 is approximately 11. I can get more into detail about the extra few bars filled, but trust me, it results in the same number when we round it off anyway, so we don’t need to explain that. Anyway, 11 + 27 = 38. 38 is a very familiar number, don’t you think? It’s the number of potatoes Fundy had in the “Fundy’s Mind” stream!

According to angelnumber.org, the number 38 means the following:

“The combination of these two numbers makes the number 38 a number which signifies joy and optimism, courage, finding creative ways to materialize abundance, reality, etc.

The essence of the number 38 in numerology are different kind of relationships, such as romantic ones, business partnerships, teamwork, cooperation, diplomacy, etc.

Number 38 people have a talent for dealing with people in a caring and creative way. They are born team-workers. They need interaction with other people to fully enjoy their lives. They are usually optimistic and have a gift of inspiring others to action.”

Needing interaction from other people, they say? Interactions that even come from people like business partners? And afterwards, they can materialize abundance, like financial success?

Besides that, if we connect the number 38 to gambling, 38 is very prominent in a game of roulette as in the American style of roulette, there are thirty-eight pockets in one wheel.

Now, what about Fundy’s level in the dream?

We can think of 7 as somewhat of a lucky number when it comes to poker as it connects to the lucky number 7 in slot machines.

If we want to look more into this, we gotta calculate for the EXP. To get to the seventh level, we need 91 EXP. To calculate for the remaining EXP, we have to denote that we need 21 EXP to get to the eighth level. Approximately, 8/18 bars are filled up, so we have to find the 8/18 of 21. 8/18 of 21 = 9.33333, or rounded off, it’s 9. Add 9 to 91, we get the perfect number 100.

According to angelnumber.org, the number 100 means the following:

“The angel number 100 signifies infinite potential, self – determination, isolation, wholeness, self – sufficiency and independence.

People who resonate with this number are very independent and self –sufficient.

They enjoy exploring new things and gaining knowledge. They don’t mind being alone and doing the things they enjoy. This number brings them leadership qualities and openness.”

This is interesting because the meaning here completely contradicts the meaning of the number 38. To me, I feel like this represents how Fundy is able to heal and to overcome his self-worth issues. He may feel like he needs to depend on other people, but in reality, Fundy’s self-worth can completely be honed by himself. This represents a Fundy who is finally able to find the true worth in himself without depending on other people’s input. But for now, this reality remains in Fundy’s head, in Fundy’s dreams, and he needs to find a way to make this become his true reality.

Additionally, going back to the gambling motif, 100 is the highest possible poker chip one can have when gambling. This can direct back to Fundy’s connections to Quackity, the person with the highest authority in Las Nevadas.

Color Symbolism (The Importance of Orange)

I’ve established this in an essay in the past, but orange is an important color to Fundy. If I remember correctly, cc!Fundy’s favorite color is orange, so I’d like to believe that, for Fundy, orange would represent “happiness” or “safety”.

The first time we see orange in his portion is actually outside of his dream: his bed.

And it’s quite interesting because in Fundy’s “Fundy’s Mind” stream, these three beds all used to be orange. From my understanding, these two extra beds were meant to represent two other people Fundy may consider as friends. In the “Fundy’s Mind” stream, Fundy showed that only Ranboo and Niki were online, implying that the two extra beds were for them. If orange is meant to represent happiness, then it's implied he viewed Niki and Ranboo as his source for happiness.

But now, the two beds next to him are white, implying that he lost his sources of happiness. As if he had stopped communicating with Niki and Ranboo entirely.

Other places we see orange are in the dream itself.

Instead of the typical yellow sand desert we expect from Fundy’s dreams, we see a badlands biome. Yes, the name of the sand is “Red Sand”, but I don’t care because it just LOOKS orange, okay? It’s interesting that instead of yellow, the desert poses as Fundy’s favorite color. Orange is a safe color for Fundy, but we also have to remember that this is still a desert. Under the guise of Fundy’s favorite color is something that represents isolation and loneliness - fitting for a stream that’s about manipulation, no?

Additionally, on the way to the ruins of L’Manberg, Fundy and Quackity are guided with blue lanterns.

Blue is orange’s complementary color. We can think of it as orange’s opposite, representing everything that orange does not represent for Fundy. So, if blue can represent something that isn’t happiness and safety, and Quackity is leading Fundy to follow these blue lanterns, then these blue lanterns can be seen as a sign of deceit, of danger. And Fundy follows them anyway.

Entering the Camarvan

This was incredibly subtle, but I find it interesting that Quackity was able to open the Camarvan’s doors when Fundy has mentioned he was never able to do it in his own dreams. This can lead back to the idea that Quackity wants to present himself as someone great, as someone akin to a savior to Fundy. Because if Fundy can’t access the Camarvan in his dreams, and Quackity can, then he might view Quackity as superior in some way. He’s weak, he can’t do anything, but Quackity can, so naturally, he thinks of him as superior.

In the Shadows

This one is the most obvious, but by the end of Fundy’s portion, Quackity is seen slowly inching closer and closer to the shadows. To me, this represents that Fundy isn’t going to be uplifted by Quackity’s offer at all. Quackity is literally dragging him into the shadows even more, which is ironic considering the fact that he stated that he will help Fundy become more recognized. But the metaphor speaks volumes: Quackity is going to pull Fundy into a dark, dark place. His offer isn’t as nice as it sounds, and Fundy needs to be incredibly careful.

Hiding His Inventory

When Fundy wakes, he completely hides his inventory. He does this a lot throughout the stream, and while I don’t want to overanalyze since I know this might just be a cinematic choice, I can’t help but feel like this is a metaphor for Fundy losing himself. We don’t see his hand, we don’t see his inventory, his health or anything, we just see his surroundings, and most importantly, we see Quackity. Only Quackity.

iv. HARKENING BACK TO THE “FUNDY’S MIND” STREAM

As much as we still have many questions about the semantics of Fundy’s dreams, I do think there are a few things from this stream that did clarify certain aspects of the first stream. If not, there are at least certain parallels that we can’t exactly ignore either.

Quackity is the Forewarned “Him”

Do not join him.

Whatever he asks of you.

Do NOT join him.

his plans aren’t as nice as they sound.

his intentions aren’t what you think they are.

he will use you

he will destroy you

everything you ever loved

everyone you ever cared about

do not join him

This one is pretty self-explanatory. At this point, I do want to think that Quackity is, indeed, the “him” being referred to here. I do want to keep my mind open for future possibilities as the Dream SMP is littered with red herrings, but for now, it just makes the most sense that the book is referring to Quackity.

Additionally, from what the book mentions, it seems like Quackity doesn’t genuinely want to help Fundy. To be fair, we can’t fully be sure that Quackity’s intentions are purely evil, but the book does imply that Quackity only views Fundy as another pawn.

The Dangers of Sleeping for Too Long

The signed book in Fundy’s first dream seems to imply that there are consequences to staying in the dream world for too long. In my opinion, Fundy’s dream in Las Nevadas’ third episode shows what might possibly happen if Fundy stays for too long. The more Fundy uncovers the truths about his future, the more he gets exposed to traumatizing experiences like the one he had with Quackity.

Additionally, it’s been hinted by Fundy that when he wakes, he can’t exactly remember what his dream is about, but he can recall the emotions he’s felt while having them. So, if Fundy can only remember what he felt while dreaming, then the dread and horror he felt while witnessing nightmares pass over. The main con of this is that even if Fundy witnesses these future-predicting events in his dream, he won’t be able to avoid them when he wakes because he can’t remember them. So, all his dreams can do is literally traumatize him. No matter how many times it can warn him about Quackity, Fundy won’t even remember them. All he can remember is a sense of dread which only makes him more vulnerable in real life as his mental state worsens.

Hooded Figure

This kind of fits under the symbolism category, but to me, it’s interesting that both the hooded figure in the first dream and Quackity in the most recent dream kind of have the same blocking. Fundy goes outside and a figure waits for him, standing directly across Fundy’s door.

If the hooded figure is Quackity, it is interesting that they chased Fundy as if intending to murder him. Again, another warning for us to not trust Quackity.

v. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR FUNDY?

In the middle of writing this, Fundy decided to do a lore stream where he finally joins Las Nevadas, so we kinda know what’s going to happen. That lore stream was pretty interesting because a lot of the manipulation tactics I’ve mentioned earlier were used by Quackity once more to further convince Fundy to stay in Las Nevadas.

That’s not to say Quackity doesn’t genuinely believe in all the words he’s said to Fundy. I do think Quackity does believe in his statements on legacy and loneliness, but the thing we have to question is whether Quackity genuinely cares about Fundy’s wellbeing wholeheartedly. Because, let me be frank: if Las Nevadas ever gets terrorized, and Fundy’s life would be in danger, I don’t think Quackity would genuinely want to save him. It’s already heavily implied that Fundy is going to be used by Quackity, but I’m genuinely curious as to why. We know Quackity does want him to work there, but what are the specifics? What specific role does he want Fundy to play? Why is he going so far as to give Fundy a plot of land just for him to stay? What does Quackity specifically want from Fundy?

Again, I’m not sure, and all will be revealed in the future, but just know that I do not trust Quackity at all. He may have some true intentions but we know Quackity will do anything as long as it benefits whatever plan he has up his sleeve.

And I have to emphasize that if Fundy ever has a breakdown or experiences a traumatic event, it is NEVER going to be his fault. Because as much as we can say that “Fundy is bringing his own demise,” we have to remember that Quackity is the real mastermind behind anything that happens in Las Nevadas. Believing Fundy or any of Las Nevadas’ coworkers are at fault for something Quackity enabled is exactly what Quackity wants us to believe.

Again, if any of the Las Nevadas members ever have a mental breakdown, or lose a canon life, there’s a good chance that Quackity knew this was going to happen and allowed it to happen in the first place. All coworkers at the moment are victims of Quackity’s manipulation, and we always have to keep that in mind.

vi. CLOSING REMARKS

Like I mentioned earlier, I am not a saint, so please do not view this essay as gospel. If you do enjoy it, feel free to like, reblog, and share it to other people! I’d appreciate any amount of support I get! If you want to discuss this topic further, feel free to message me or reply to this post!

Special thanks to Fundy, Quackity, and everyone else who participated in this lore stream. Additional special thanks to Alyssa for beta reading! :D

#fundy #dream smp #mcyt #quackity critical #long post #dream smp analysis #dsmp analysis

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rmenvs3000w22 · 2 years

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Blog 9

Hello everyone,

It is hard to believe this is our last blogging week! This semester has gone by so quickly but so slowly at the same time. I have learned a lot this semester not only about nature interpretation, but about myself and how I learn, communicate, and relate to others around me.

Through these blog posts I have also discovered that I have several strong personal ethics and beleifs that drive me. I value kindness, passion and genuine human connection and see interpretation as a way to spread all of those things to the people that surround us. I think it is part of our meaning in life to listen to our beliefs and to value them in everything we do. I think interpretation is an incredible privilege and opportunity to promote those values and beliefs to others in hopes of making a difference in the world. As I covered in my post about privilege, a large part of being an interpreter is carrying and accepting the responsibility of privilege and acting accordingly. Being able to interpret at all and having the opportunity to have an impact on others is a privilege itself. I will use interpretation to share knowledge, spread love for the Earth and nature, promote kindness, and encourage self-reflection and growth.

As one of my passions is environmentalism and caring for the Earth, I really loved this weeks content and its focus on the responsibility of interpreters to help foster the development of environmental stewards. Environmentalism has always been very important to me and I resonate a lot with the quote by environmental interpreter Jacob Rodenburg:

“I’m trying hard not to get discouraged. Being an environmental educator in today’s world feels like you are asked to stop a rushing river armed only with a teaspoon.”

I have always struggled with accepting the reality of our world and how we treat it and eachother. As the quote describes, it can feel impossible to make any difference when all we can control is ourselves. Treating the earth poorly is so engrained in our society and what we teach our children that it just seems like that’s the only option because everyone just follows societal norms like sheep. When our world is dominated and controlled by mass companies and governments, it feels like not using one plastic straw will do absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. And realistically, it may not. Only when we as a society change our norms and expectations will change begin to really happen. Like Jacob, I find hope in knowing that change is possible and knowing that the fate of our society rests on our youth.

The chance to make change by promoting environmentalism and respect for the earth gives me motivation to apply my knowledge in interpretation. I think the basis of my motivation is also sourced from the desire to achieve personal growth and happiness.

In terms of approaches to interpretation that are most suitable for me, I have found I really enjoy utilizing my linguistic intelligence in addition to an auditory focused format. I love talking and communicating with people in a genuine way that I feel like I can get through to people with. Personally, I find some methods of interpretation to be too distant and find that it can become washed out or ignored by audiences without a personalized component involved. Of course formats like information brochures and visual pieces are helpful in scenarios like trails or monuments when an interpreter is not present, I just personally would rather be involved in other methods of interpretation. I enjoy small, personal interactions with audience members where there can be discussion, debate, and opportunity for new ideas and concepts that I can learn from as well. This would give me the chance to really integrate my own insights, personality, and ethics into my work. It would also give me the chance to grow, reflect and develop my own beliefs and ethics.

I really value personal reflection as it relates to nature and would love to be in a scenario where personal growth and awareness are emphasized. I also love science and would love to have a position where I would be able to share knowledge and information to help an audience gain a better understanding of nature and its constituents.

When I first began this course, I really had never heard of nature interpretation nor did I understand the thought behind it. I genuinely have learned a lot this semester and I am very grateful for the privilege to be able to have access to education. I am willing to take on the responsibility that having that privilege comes with and will use what I have gained to spread knowledge, my passions, and hopefully a little bit of kindness and love.

I hope you are all prepared to do the same.

Cheers,

Riley

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stomp-that-ho-regard · 3 years

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Retcon

noun

(in a film, television series, or other fictional work) a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

verb

revise (an aspect of a fictional work) retrospectively, typically by introducing a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events.

Retroactive Continuity

Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. [...] In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. [...]

Post-hiatus C2, and the Great Retcon...

(The retconning really started with the playlists, but we’ll come back to those.)

First, some context:

SDCC (July ‘18) - Marisha was asked directly about Beau and Yasha and if she and Ashley had discussed it. “After the first few times that I kinda put the moves on her, we were at break, and I could sense that Ashley was wanting to ask me something. And she was like, ‘Hey, I’m just curious... is Beau- ’ And at that exact moment someone’s like, ‘Yo Ashley! We gotta go! We gotta get on stage!’ And I was like, ‘Bye!’” Then Brian asked, “And you haven’t had a further conversation about it?” Marisha said, “Nope!”

(Seven months into the campaign, and no discussions. Hmm.)

NYCC (Oct. ‘18) - Marisha was asked about who would Beau get flustered over if they ever flirted back, and yes, she said Yasha and laughed, but then said, “It’s like throwing pebbles at a brick wall.” Meaning, she was putting stuff out there and not getting anything back. (And, she really wasn’t. I still remember when a major portion of the fandom, including the diehard shippers [of which I was one at the time], weren’t sure if Ashley was even interested in this. More than that, it wasn’t until the Zuala reveal, that the fandom and the players found out for certain that Yasha was actually into women.)

(To me, Marisha’s answer here also suggests that at this point, there were still no discussions.)

Talks Machina for ep61 (May ‘19) - Marisha was asked ‘What was going through Beau's mind when Yasha revealed her past with Zuala? Has this changed any feelings Beau might have? Or has Beau's character growth allowed her to mature a little more with regards to her feelings about Yasha?’ Which Marisha instantly pegged as a shipping question. And she said, “I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this to not ruin everyone’s internal canon, in their brains. I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha. But then also, is that on me? Have I been leading everybody on?”

So, you had all of that, all the way up to ep61.

None of this indicates that ‘it’s been happening since ep1′ or that it’s ‘the slowest of slow burns.’ In fact, it shuts that down completely.

Moving forward to the Beau and Fjord convo (ep108)...

Marisha suddenly having Beau say “There was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her”. She’s retrospectively attempting to give that moment more weight, when (based on the examples above) we know that the over-the-top flirting was just for fun. And truthfully, she really wasn’t flirting with Yasha any differently than she was flirting with any hot female NPC the party crossed paths with.

And now it’s clear that that one line she said is the reason why BY shippers have suddenly clung on to the idea that “It’s been happening since episode one! SLOooOowBuUuuUrn!!!!!” when its clear that it was not planned. (Not before the hiatus-from-hell, anyway.)

Then Marisha having Beau go from describing Jester as “She's fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she's complicated and layered.” to “It’s easy to lust after her”. I’ll direct you to Talks for ep85. After Marisha had mentioned that it was a bunch of little things that build, and then pinpointed a few of them, Brian tried to make a joke and said “So you’re saying it’s been more a series, than just one moment that you can point to and say ‘It was right here when I went, let’s fuck!’” Marisha specifically countered that with “It’s not even about 'let’s fuck’. It’s nothing sexual in this case.” (Having her backpedal on this so heavily was such a huge gut punch and was the thing that wholly soured everything for me.)

There were so many better, more delicate ways Marisha could’ve had Beau examine/come to grips with her feelings for both women, but all the reduction and saying they were ‘transferable’ was nothing short of insulting.

On that same Talks episode, Marisha also said this: “Going into this campaign all of us were like, ‘No relationships!’ I didn’t want it! I didn’t ask for this!”, while smiling. What this shows me is that she was thinking of a relationship in regards to Beau’s feelings for Jester. As if she was maybe even anticipating this culminating into something? Why even mention relationships at all if this was nothing serious and was always meant to fall by the wayside?

Brian then followed up with, “In my opinion, as a viewer, Beau’s someone who seems to be on the search for innocence. Whether innocence lost or just innocence in general. And to me it makes sense that you would be attracted to someone who exudes genuine and sort of intrinsic innocence.” Marisha replied with “Fairly astute.”

The next question was, ‘Beau has taken a pretty casual, no-strings-attached approach toward sex and relationships so far. How do her feelings for Jester compare to her previous romantic flings?’ Marisha answered immediately and very seriously with, “Noncomparable. It’s more than that.” She wasn’t playing coy and it didn’t take her a century to find the words. She didn’t even have to think about it. Succinct and direct.

How did all of that ‘organically’ disappear completely, after only 14 episodes?

(Everything felt more genuine back then, because it seemed like Marisha was going where the character was taking her, and not where she thought the character should be going.)

Post-hiatus, everyone and their mother are acting like BY is some epic romance-of-the-ages that was all mapped out, and like Beau having feelings for Jester was just some sort of temporary curveball. That Beau was confused, or was just missing Yasha and projected onto Jester.

That’s really fucked up no matter how you try to justify it. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen another piece of media backpedal this hard, and this callously.

None of that squares with what we were shown or with what we were told. Until, everybody made a hard pivot and now they've done (and continue to) do everything they can to rewrite campaign history, even though we have plenty of footage that contradicts the new ‘company line’.

Now, where the retconning truly began, with the playlists...

Remember the first round of playlists? Those were released randomly, whenever the cast felt like posting them. I also don’t remember there being announcements every time one came out either.

This time though, they had a fixed schedule, complete with official twitter announcements. As they started to just get back into the swing of things, Yasha’s playlist was released right after the first episode back.

So, right out of the gate, they had to make sure they started to drill home a certain mindset for viewers. That’s why Yasha had a song called ‘Let Me Hold You’. (Lo and behold, a few episodes in, Beau randomly asks Yasha to hold her.) A few weeks later, Beau’s playlist was released, and there was a song with the caption saying ‘Ultimately, all she really wants is someone to hold, and someone to hold her’. (But sure, no planning here! The wording is just a total coincidence, folks!)

The other song, directly about Yasha, mentions ‘a crush forged in battle’ (ok), and ‘awkward flirtations’ (???). Yasha never openly flirted with Beau before the hiatus, until maybe right after the Obann arc, in a very vague way.

On Beau’s playlist, there’s nothing about Jester. The one track that mentions her is actually about Artagan. Which, after all they’ve been through together, is fucking ridiculous no matter how you slice it.

In addition to that, Marisha had made Beau’s time in Kamordah (ep92/e93), and the incidents with her family and the Hag, about the group now, not about Jester, fully contradicting her own reiterated words that ‘Jester saved Beau’.

When Beau was talking to her dad, reverting back to her old self and getting all riled up, Jester helped her in that moment, and saved her. Yes, the group was very supportive, and yes, Yasha said something to him before they left the house (that Beau was out of earshot for by the way), but Jester was Beau’s rock throughout that whole thing.

With the Hag, when the group was having a hard time coming up with a solution, and they realized they might actually lose Beau, Jester stepped up and took control of the situation. She, single-handedly, saved Beau/the group from the Hag. And with that, Jester also became Beau’s hero.

In both instances, Marisha thanked Laura/Jester. First on Talks for ep92 with both of them on it. She reiterated, “You saved me. You saved Beau.” Then on Twitter after ep93 with, “Still processing last night. Saved by a cupcake? Eh - saved by @LauraBaileyVO ... again.”

But now suddenly, it’s the group. Just the group?

Now, don’t get me wrong. The entire party showing Beau support was incredibly important. The M9 showed her that they value her, that she’s important to them. It solidified the theme of ‘found family’, which was beautiful. But, to not also highlight how crucial Jester was in all of this, after making such a big deal about it?

That is very deliberate retconning of some hugely important, highly emotional moments for Beau that directly involved Jester.

Any of Beau’s organic and genuine connection with Jester (which encompasses their deep friendship as well as Beau’s romantic feelings) has been massively reduced (and now erased), specifically to prop up a supposed ‘deep’ connection with someone else that was barely ever there, is still barely there, and has no actual depth at all.

Case in point, the BY date (ep126) showcased this fact to the most extreme degree...

Yasha’s infamous line: “I fell in love with you in Kamordah.” So, Yasha literally watched Beau relive her childhood trauma, and caught feelings during it. I’m not wrong in thinking that that’s just a little disturbing, am I? Also, if that’s the moment she supposedly fell for her, why did she not offer her any form of help? I mean, besides that one sweet moment with TJ, the entire time Beau was in Kamordah, she was the most broken down she’d ever been and needed some real comfort, which is something Yasha did not give her. (Jester did though. In spades.)

So, on multiple levels, this seems highly out-of-place.

Several people have said that that line was not thought through. In my opinion, it actually was thought through and was only said specifically to have viewers completely dismiss everything else that happened in the Kamordah episodes. Despite the FACT that Beau and Yasha barely interacted during those episodes, they have now stripped down the party’s experience there, and twisted it into a giant BY shipping moment. (Further feeding into the retcon.)

Their ‘trip down memory lane’ was laughable. Most of the things that were mentioned, Yasha wasn’t even around for.

Gee, remember when the cast was actually good at separating what they knew from what their character knew? When you start injecting what you know into your character (who isn’t supposed to know, because they literally were not physically there), you are metagaming.

The entire date was one big metagaming bonanza. And it had to be, or else they would’ve had nothing to talk about. There is not one thing they have to call their own. To people who don’t have BY tunnel vision, it was made glaringly obvious that they have nothing in common and their dynamic is fairly shallow. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are sitting there watching this unfold, smiling and nodding along as if it all makes perfect sense and isn’t utterly ridiculous. (And I’m sitting here wondering when I got shunted into the Twilight Zone.)

The shallowness holds true for FJ as well. Aside from both of them being from the Menagerie Coast, what exactly do they have in common?

While Fjord has grown as a character, as far as Jester goes, he still does not seem to have the capacity to fully understand her as a person, or fully respect her abilities/emotional strength/intelligence. He doubted her often, which led to Jester getting irritated with him several times over the course of at least the last third of the pre-hiatus episodes. He even continued to doubt her judgment (in regards to the Traveler) in the post-hiatus Rumblecusp episodes. But hey, they’ve kissed now (ep118) so all of that gets wiped clean, and he’s being touted as her ultimate romantic soulmate who’s oh-so-perfect for her.

For fuck’s sake, why does that sound like something pulled right out of a CW show?

(I'm convinced that the only reason FJ is ‘popular’ is because the shippers have projected Travis and Laura’s real-life marriage onto the characters. If Fjord and Jester were played by different people, or Travis and Laura were not together, people would realize how paper-thin and half-assed this pairing is and hardly anyone would care about it.)

Beau and Jester had developed the deepest, most genuine friendship and overall dynamic in the entire party, that should have absolutely been given the chance to be explored further. They constructed a pretty solid foundation that could have easily been built upon, and the fact that it’s been unceremoniously pulverized and snuffed out in favor of such overwhelming tepidity and flavorlessness will never not infuriate me.

Finally, to finish this off, I will say with my whole chest, that that is one of many nasty, rotten patterns that I’ve seen far too much of in all kinds of scripted media, which is...

Not wanting to commit to the thing that’s actually growing organically, because it’ll ruffle too many feathers. It’s too inconvenient. It gets in the way. Because of course, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to take a risk, or you know, actually follow where the natural fucking chemistry is taking you. Of course not! Heaven forbid, we go down a different road! You have to go with what’s ‘expected’, no matter what, at the great expense of something new that’s come along that’s clearly better. Even when what’s expected is hollow as fuck and doesn’t make sense anymore, because characters have grown and dynamics have changed, they decide to dig their heels in with the most fanservice-y options instead.

Yet this is UNSCRIPTED media. A D&D campaign, that’s supposed to be mostly improvised. D&D, that’s all about taking chances/going with your gut/making bold choices/etc., from people who have claimed up and down that they “like to see things play out at the table”.

So why are those same disingenuous patterns being utilized here too?

One of the big reasons I got into CR was because I naively believed that because the format was different, that the storytelling would be different. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about running into this nonsense here. That I wouldn’t have to worry about getting bullshitted, jerked around, and having my intelligence insulted left and right, but alas, here we are.

In conclusion... [TL;DR, kinda?]

Reframing past events (between B & J, and B & Y) to serve a current plot need (railroading BY):

Beau playlist ignores Jester’s importance to what transpired in Kamordah. (minimizing/erasure)

Beau playlist doesn’t acknowledge/hint at Beau’s feelings for Jester. (total erasure. could have at least included a song about feelings being lost, or being confused about feelings for a friend, but Marisha took the cowardly route, and didn’t bother mentioning it at all.)

Beau playlist claims that Beau and Yasha have both been flirting forever. (easily debunked by session footage.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “There was something about Yasha from the moment I saw her”. (it was just about hooking up then, and stayed that way for a majority of the campaign. This line suggests that Beau has had ‘deeper feelings’ for and/or has been ‘in love’ with Yasha since the first episode, that this was all intentional build-up, which again, is easily debunked by session footage, panels, and TM.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “It’s easy to lust after her.” (minimizing/erasure/twisting of Beau’s feelings for Jester, which Marisha had previously stated were ‘noncomparable’ , ‘more than that’, and that her attraction is ‘nothing sexual in this case.’)

This isn’t a fucking conspiracy theory. This is plain evidence of a planned retcon.

#op #super long post #uber rant #happy thursday! ;)#beaujester #i wrote this up back in december but didn't have the energy to finish it until now #it got longer as i went #guess i still have a lot of bitching left in me lol #that's what happens when you feel like you've been getting kicked in the teeth for nine months

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sidigtal-anim · 3 years

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AMPHIBIA SEASON 2 FINALE: INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND SHIPPING

SPOILERS FOR ALL OF AMPHIBIA PRE-"TRUE COLORS" & SEASON 2B TRAILER

It's time.... I can't believe this is the final week of Amphibia before the hiatus for Season 3. We can cry about that in May, but for now we have some business to get to with Relationship drama!

DISCLAIMER: This is a shipping/platonic interpersonal relationship discussion post for the relationship between all three of the girls. All healthy ships are good ships, but I’m talking from my perspective. This is my own speculation for the show, and what I interpret may not be the crew’s intent. So I’m doing this with the knowledge that there’s a possibility that this is all speculation and not canon.

If no ships at all, or the ship you wanted did not happen in the Season 2 finale, do not blame the artists and creators for such. Many fandoms have done this and it’s possible that it will happen again. Just don’t be those people who ignore the hard work and beautiful storytelling the Amphibia crew have done and just complain to them about not doing the ship you/we desperately wanted. Harassing the crew for telling their story is a horrible thing to do. So please be mindful of that.

I will also talk about both monogamous ships and a potential polyamorous ship (which is WILD that a Disney frog isekai has one of the most potential for LGBT Poly representation). So if you're polyphobic or monophobic, this post isn't for you. (while you're at it block me.)

But let’s get started:

The Polaroid

A recurring prop used to showcase the happy memories of Anne, Sasha and Marcy. We’ve only seen two of the same Polaroid: one with Anne, and the other with Sasha. It's used to showcase the three girls' tight friendship and bond initially on Earth, and I think if Marcy shows hers, it might showcase the angst of her working for Andrias. (More on that theory in my plot speculation post.)

There is no one else to morally ship them with.

Pad Thai shippers, calm down. In a show like this, there would be a dude who came to Amphibia with the three girls and Anne or someone would fall in love with him. But like The Owl House, there is no hetero ship presented with Anne, Sasha or Marcy that aren't Amphibians. The only people we can ship the three girls with are each other, and even then Sasha and Anne's ANGST is too much for a healthy relationship at the moment. Marcy would be the only real potential option for a happy ship with Anne. (Don't attack me Sashanne shippers, just stating the facts on screen.)

"Well, romance isn't the focus of this show!" You're right. Romance isn't the focus, but the show does do romance. We've seen several times with Sprig and Ivy, and Hop Pop and Sylvia. They may not be the centre focus (which is one of the reasons I love this show) but it exists. The show has done romance several times, and if they culminate a romance with [two or all three of the] girls, it would make sense. The potential is there, but will it happen?

Romance Thread

Hop Pop and Sylvia, Joe Sparrow and Bessie, Sprig and Ivy, "Quarreler's Pass" where Hop Pop asks Anne if she has a boyfriend to fill the awkward silence: these are all romance threads/points throughout the season and it makes so much more sense to have them culminate in this finale or at least showcase an idea of further explicit queer relationship, and do the romance in Season 3.

An overarching story with these three girls has been their interpersonal relationships with one another as Sasha is controlling of both of them, and Anne and Marcy try to find their own path and reach their own autonomy. By having Marcy and Anne find themselves devoid of Sasha, they are free to be themselves.

Sasha as a Complex Character

Sasha at the current moment is not ready for any relationship with Anne or Marcy, especially with what we learn about her in “The Third Temple” in using Marcy, Anne and the Plantars to storm Newtopia. She is a major component of angst in the show, and the main conflict to Anne and Marcy's arcs. Especially with the Season “wrapping” up their angst by "Battle of the Bands", but touching on it in several episodes of the season: it seems like it's going to be thrown over to the next season. The Season 2 finale will be somehow more angsty than “Reunion” (which... how are they going to do??) and the Season 3 finale will introduce a sort of distrust arc and denouement of them realising their relationship and dynamics were not healthy. The biggest disconnect in the last episode was Sasha thinking that after she uses them to get into Newtopia safely, she can somehow control this relationship she has between Marcy and Anne.

[You might be wondering: "okay, but if their angst is doubling down this season, why do a big post on potential shipping and relationships?" Because I can and I want to. I'm just very into these adorable teenagers being in a happy relationship as soon as possible (especially if it's not hetero).]

Sasha and Marcy - Hold your horses, this isn’t a Sasharcy segment. I’m talking about the relationship and interactions between these characters themselves.

We haven’t yet seen how Sasha and Marcy interact without Anne there: similar to Season 1 where we knew who Anne and Sasha were in terms of their own characters, but in “Reunion” we saw how their dynamic was and how that played a great influence on the Battle of Toad Tower. I think “True Colors” will delve a little into that with perhaps a flashback.

Another similarity and difference between the two is that Marcy is willing to give up her hyper fixated goal for the people she cares about. We see it in "The First Temple" where Marcy is willingly forfeiting the game to save Anne and the Plantars from the harm of the Temple. While with Sasha, we see in "Barrel's Warhammer" that she is persistent in going through with obtaining the Warhammer, even at the cost of the people around her. In this instance, Percy and Braddock. I definitely think that Marcy and Sasha are two foils while still being similar overall. If Andrias' plan means risking Anne and Sasha, I think Marcy would very quickly try to undo it and help Anne.

One theory I saw floating around was in "Reunion", Sasha forgot it was Anne's birthday, and so she sent Marcy to find her a gift while she distracted Anne with all the "fun birthday" stuff. I think perhaps we'll see some more of that, to showcase their relationships as a second chapter to "Reunion" where we see their dynamics. Or it could just be a Season 3 thing.

Anne and Marcy

Something I really like is a post made by @pyroclastic727. They talk about how Marcy and Anne were other-ing each other when I’m their relationship with Sasha. As much as Anne and Marcy cared for each other pre-meet-up, Anne in Season 1 focuses on Sasha. And of course who wouldn’t? Sasha is a force to be reckoned with, and last such an impression that we were terrified of who Marcy was going to be before we met her. I recommend checking their post here for full context.

One thing I am interested in that will probably be a Season 3 flip is how Marcy and Anne met. They seemed to be friends since they were babies, there isn’t really an understanding of where their relationship started. It could be they were best friends, but they started othering each other once Sasha joined them. But now, they’re high tier solid friends again.

The major thing Sasha isn't accounting for is the fact that Anne has changed and grown over time. She's not the exact same girl from Earth, she has grown and changed. Become better and able to stand up for herself. Sasha and Anne's relationship seems to be more angst driven than it was in "Reunion". (HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???)

THE ARC OF WOMEN LOVING WOMEN

Now that the general stuff is out of the way, let's dig a little deeper into the arcs of the three girls these two seasons so far.

101B - “Best Fronds” - We see Anne’s relationship with Sasha, and how she manipulates Anne and Marcy to do as she says. I’ll talk about this a bit more in the “Barrel’s Warhammer” section from Sasha’s POV, but this is big stuff.

110 - “Toad Tax” + “Prison Break” - These two episodes tie in Sasha and Anne’s angst for the season. It directly ties in two plot threads that are very prominent in ”Reunion”: “Toad Tax” with Anne’s progression as a character and her connection to the people of Wartwood, while “Prison Break” shows Sasha willing to do what it takes to get back home and find the other girls. This is the main plot of the season 1 finale, where Sasha helps Grimes to get what he wants in order for her and Anne to find Marcy and get home, even if it means killing off Hop Pop since he’s a frog and according to her, he doesn’t matter.

119B & 120 - “Anne of the Year” + “Reunion”

There's so much to unpack here. But this is a major moment in Anne standing up for herself, Sasha's "sacrifice", and the future of their relationship hanging in the balance. This is the main trigger for the Sashanne dynamic, the toxic and angst driven story. The end of Act 1 of this 3 act story.

201A - “Handy Anne”

This is an essential episode. The premiere immediately starts off with mentions of Sasha in the events of the Battle for Toad Tower. In addition to Marcy being mentioned only a few moments later. Clearly Anne isn't over the events of Toad Tower, but she's pushing forward and trying her best to move on positively; especially with trying to find Marcy, her third and final friend sent to Amphibia.

204 - “Quarreler's Pass” + “Toadcatcher”

As I said, the Hop Pop/Anne B Plot in "Quarreler's Pass" where Hop Pop tries to fill the awkward silence by asking Anne if she has a boyfriend is very telling of their relationship. But what I find interesting is as soon as the episode ends with Hop Pop saying, "Now we can talk about Anne's boyfriend again." And he gets shoved off the cliff. We immediately go to Sasha. We could have had any other episode with Sasha, but why the one immediately after discussing Anne's romantic life? We know the show likes to tie in plot threads through A and B episodes, so it's a possibility!

"Toadcatcher" is all about the Sashanne angst from Sasha's perspective. She tries to distract herself with training, but Grimes points to her that she's afraid their relationship will never be the same again. Sasha also reveals that she has been training to protect Grimes, the one person she can count on right now. After the fight with Yunan and making plans for storming Newtopia with a Toad Army, Sasha says, "It's not over between us. Not even close." Which just highlights their angst arc for the Season. We'll touch more on it in the B segments of 217 and 218.

206 - “Marcy at the Gates”

Here's the thing about this episode. We touch on Sasha and Marcy in the F-Wagon, and then we speak more on Marcy than Sasha. Something Anne says in the beginning with Sprig: "Look, Sasha and I might be going through a rough patch, but that doesn't mean I don't care about her." It shows Anne still cares about Sasha, and she wants to continue their relationship in a healthy way moving forward if possible. If not, then it's something she's willing to let go.

The rest of the episode is a Marcanne fancam people. So much love for Marcy, some suspicion of her from Sprig. But in the end, she's loved by all. If you don't love Marcy, you're a monster. A key reaction in this episode is wariness in the fandom: after Sasha, everyone was terrified and unsure who Marcy is and if she had a similar trait. But she’s amazing and a wonderful nerd.

Something I did find interesting in the Rebecca Rose interview that Matt Braly (and creator of The Owl House Dana Terrace) is that Braly said Marcy was the most important key to the whole show: if the audience don't love her in the first few minutes of her introduction, the entire show would collapse. What is so vital about Marcy that would cause the entire story to collapse? Is it the romance or the plot? Is it the overall arc or what?

207 - “Scavenger Hunt” + “The Plantars Check In”

Marcy and Anne episodes, with Anne feeling insecure about Marcy and Marcy feeling envious of Anne's social skills and befriending the people around her. It solidifies their dynamic and doubles down on Marcy being the cutest and greatest character of all time.

210A - “The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers”

This is a heavy episode for Sashannarcy. Although not seeing Sasha since "Toadcatcher" and we wouldn't be seeing her until "Barrel's Warhammer", this episode does good to remind the audience of Sasha's presences and lasting effect on the girls. Anne talks about Sasha as though she still wants them to be friends if possible to continue their relationship in a healthy way.

The episode does more so focus on Anne and Marcy in the sleepover, but Sasha's presence is still very strong, enough that you feel her presence looming over them. It's not healthy, but it's part of the healing process.

210B - “A Day at the Aquarium”

This is where alarms were set off about Andrias. His proposition for Marcy directly after she tells Anne to go with the Plantars back to Wartwood really does create a new dynamic. So far, it seemed as though Marcy really wanted to have her friend around her. She had no one from Earth until Anne came, and it seems as though she can't reveal informal secrets and insecurities to King Andrias or Lady Olivia. It is a real victory to have Anne go with the Plantars to Wartwood, but Marcy is left without her friend and Andrias takes advantage of that. It's still very unclear what his plans with her are, but that's just the other shoe waiting to drop.

214 - “The First Temple”

Marcy is wonderful. We see flashbacks through Anne's perspective as we see Marcy's issue of extreme hyper fixation not allowing her to pay attention to her surroundings. This was in "Marcy at the Gates", but it doubles down here. It even shows in the Temple where Marcy seems to be so into all the trials that she is unable to see the Plantars being squished, burned or smashed to pieces as a result.

I mentioned this as a comparison, but Marcy really does give up all her chances of recharging the Green gem just to save Anne and the Plantars. She gives up her hyper fixated goal just for them. Her extreme presence of empathy and care of Anne and the people who she may not have incredible emotional attachment to is what separates her from Sasha.

215A - “New Wartwood”

Directly after "The First Temple" with Marcanne development, absolutely no one saw this segment coming in hot as one of the gayest ones yet. It is an Anne and Marcy episode with a slight emphasis on Mayor Toadstool. I think I would have seen this episode as solidifying Anne and Marcy's friendship if not for that blush in the beginning of the episode. Marcy geeks out about the swamp Wartwood is built on top of, and Anne blushes at her asking for more info she learned in the town. If Anne and Marcy were "just friends" I don't think Anne would have blushed at Marcy geeking out about frog stuff. The only other times we've seen her blush is when she's embarrassed, and it doesn't seem like that's her emotional state at that moment. You could just brush it off and say its an error, but there's no way that's an error. It went through production and post-production and was locked in! There's no way that's an error!!

216 - “Toad to Redemption” + “Maddie & Marcy”

Not a lot to say here, but this is important. These two episodes are directly after "Return to Wartwood" and a while after "The First Temple". Each segment features Anne and Marcy having their own adventures, and their stories can be separate from one another. In "Toad to Redemption", Anne is helping Mayor Toadstool remain the Mayor of Wartwood and not become the head of the Southern Toad Tower. In "Maddie and Marcy", Marcy is helping Maddie with reviving a pet to life. Both Anne and Marcy are key players this season, but they each play a supporting role to people they didn't really talk to or meet previously in these segments. This shows their independence from one another, and that my friends is the sign of a healthy relationship!

217 - “The Second Temple” + “Barrel’s Warhammer”

Buckle up folks, the Sashannarcy segment we've been waiting for.

"The Second Temple" has a focus of Marcy and Anne, but more specifically Anne since this Temple was her trial. Still not sure of the exact location of the temple, but it's fine. The trials show Anne and how she cares about the people around her, how she is the "heart" of the group, and her growth from Season 1 up until that point. The deep love she has, especially at the end where she gives up charging the gem midway to save her friends who are screaming.

"Barrel's Warhammer"... yikes. This segment is perhaps the biggest insight into Sasha's psyche we've seen. In comparison to Marcy who gives up what she hyper fixates upon for the people around her, Sasha is persistent and attaches her worth to her goal. She does not like failure or losing, and I think that shows in this segment. This shows her absolute fear of abandonment and desire for complete control (which we'll talk more about in "Battle of the Bands") over the situations around her, which causes for unsympathetic actions and negative repercussions of the people around her. This episode (very late into the season) just highlights Sasha's journey further and what she needs to work on. It's not Anne and Marcy for leaving her: it's her. Her tunnel vision is shoving them away.

218B - “The Third Temple” - This episode made me feel so down on shipping. Like it’s a great episode over all, but what it means for the Season 2 finale is... angsty. Sasha fake apologises to Anne in order for her and Grimes to enter Newtopia safely for the invasion. Just as much as she understands she is doing it, her slight look of conflicted feelings at the end of this segment really does showcase how even she is unsure if she should go on with this. Sasha really does not deserve Anne and Marcy, and I think she knows it too.

219 - “The Dinner” + “Battle of the Bands”

The biggest disconnect Sasha provides is that she believes after they get the Toads to invade Newtopia, she can get her friendship with Anne and Marcy back "under control". Which I believe is the friendship they had back when they were on Earth. Sasha didn't realise how much Marcy and, more specifically, Anne had changed in their time in Amphibia. Sasha is really the only person who hasn't changed nor made solid emotional attachments to anyone other than Grimes. Anne and Marcy grew, while Sasha didn't. "The Dinner" just proves that where she is unable to have her feelings of being other-ed in their relationship. I think Sasha's fear of missing out, and not being the centre of their relationship just plays into her "Barrel's Warhammer" insecurities and problems.

While "Battle of the Bands" shows her need to be in control of everything and everyone around her, even with her realising it's very tiring. She doesn't like mindless people (like Toadie) who obey her every command, she likes the challenge of controlling people into submission. Which is very bad, but I think by the end when she plays the song she realises it's okay to let loose with help from Toadie. Even at the end when the three of them lose to Grimes, she realises that it was more fun to play with Anne and Marcy with a silly, heartfelt song instead of making it perfect and winning with a controlled performance. By the end, Sasha is controlling them because she does have the plan to invade Newtopia with Grimes. But this is just the calm before the storm.

TL;DR - I don’t think a relationship can healthily start in the finale, especially with the Sasha betrays Anne and Marcy betrays Anne plots both coming to a head. There’s no way that Sasha is going to be an immediate better person and get into a relationship with Anne and/or Marcy. There is a logic to them starting the relationship, but I don’t think it’s gonna be this season. Instead, I could see perhaps a declaration of love or some kind of coming out scene happening where someone confesses their love to the other. I don’t come to this show for shipping, but there is a logical through line as a connection to the overall story which could culminate in romance.

Either way, lemme know your thoughts and ideas! No shipping wars in the comments please, but do tell what you think? Is it happening? Is it not? Are we going to be explicit in canonising (by that I mean a confession of love or something) or saving it for Season 3? As always, let me know your thoughts!

#disney's amphibia #disney amphibia #amphibia #hop pop #annarcy #sprig plantar #marcanne #sasha waybright

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mybg3notebook · 3 years

Text

Gale Summarised Analysis

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in May 2021.

The majority of sources used for this article are in the game itself (this includes my Gale-solo playthroughs as well as a combination of the videos by munmomuu and selphie1999), and the few dev’s notes provided by pjenn. Gale as origin is not taken into account since it’s not finished and has little to none Gale-related content. There will be little datamining content as well since pjenn said the game contained almost no gale-related notes (only in the Weave and in the Revelation scene).

Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in (post)

The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.

We can infer about Gale by analysing what he approves and disapproves of. Sometimes, we can even lightly infer some information from his neutral reactions, but let’s be honest: this way of analysing a char is pretty poor since it leaves everything to speculation. Neutral reactions can only be analysed, in very rare instances, by contrasting the same situation in other contexts, and seeing what other options Gale approves or disapproves of. With these considerations in mind, we can proceed to describe this character.

Disclaimer: this is a meta with my personal interpretation of the character, sticking as much as possible to the facts and leaving little to “desires” or “projections” of what I want him to be. If I do so, I will state it explicitly in the text for the sake of analysis honesty. I want to be clear about what is canon (facts shown in bg3 EA), from what’s personal interpretation with little proof.

Understanding Gale (integrated text)

We are none of us monsters. We are merely hatcheries for monstrous things. So we fight them

---Gale

Collecting most of the information provided in-game, we know he has a cat, a Library, and writes poetry sometimes. One of the first things that Gale will reveal is that he is a private person. He easily and clearly sets boundaries from the first moment, showing Tav where they stand. The second aspect he makes us aware of is his pragmatic thinking and his preference for diplomatic approaches. A third aspect that stands out on its own: he is a very verbose person, maybe as a result of his academia background in combination with his poetry hobby. He also has a bad posture when talking, but I’m not sure if this is intentional or a bug.

We can assure that Gale certainly is a man of the city [13], and may have a decent social status. It's impossible to say for sure if it's noble or rich or both, or it is just a natural consequence of being a wizard scholar: he is frustrated by the harshness of the camping life, he misses the civilisation of the city which offers well cooked meals, soft beds, and scented baths. Not by chance he is the only companion in the group who would approve of giving Oskar 200 gold to fight “the discomforts of the road” [13]. However, he adapts. Despite the lack of luxuries, he managed to survive in the wilderness.

Gale and his link with magic is unquestionable. Magic is life for Gale, metaphorically and literally speaking since it's magic what allows him to stay alive despite the "orb" in his chest. If we talk about Magic, we have to talk about Mystra and the Weave. The Weave is not only the embodiment of Mystra, it's an extension of Mystra herself. It extends across many planes of existence and is in almost all parts of Faerûn. By dragging power from it, Magic can be performed.

Mystra, for lore reasons and conjectures that I will discuss in the post "Mystra and her Chosen ones", turned teenager/young adult Gale into one of her Chosen, making their relationship more intimate and granting Gale a deeper access to the Weave. This put Gale into the category of an archwizard. It's clear that Gale was and still is a devotee of Mystra, which could give us a hint of his alignment since she is a neutral good goddess and she expects for her Chosen to align around it.

Gale likes confidence, in others and in himself. He is confident in his looks (he has described himself as a “handsome devil” and answered during the romance/Revelation scene that he knew he was beautiful under the light as well as Tav). But beyond these two lines, qualifying him as a narcissist seems extreme. He is surely very confident about his knowledge, and we see he is not just mere words: his Mind Flayer knowledge is at the the same level of what githyankis know. If we compare how Astarion/Tav struggled with the book of Thay, and then we see how Gale manages it (sadly the scene is not complete yet in EA, and there is almost no datamining info of Gale), we can conclude once more that his knowledge and power of the mind are real (he is, so far, the main companion who allows us to explore the lore of the game in a deeper way during his conversations). We also know it's a bit more complicated to intrude into his mind using the tadpole because he has knowledge and mental tools to protect himself (check the post about the Tadpole inside Gale). He is certainly a very verbose and confident scholar, who knows his limits, and in occasions he seems to dabble into an ego-teasing play as an attempt of levity, displaying his “insufferable side”, as he has described himself (his self-awareness of these traits is remarkable, and it is the reason why I avoid qualifying him as arrogant. Arrogant chars are hardly self-aware of their own bad manners or insufferable traits). But we can see it's usually done as a joke or, with an evil Tav, as an aggressive reaction. For a deep analysis of this aspect, check the post about "Gale Hypotheses- Part 2", section: "Narcissism".

Based on his approvals and disapprovals, we can see that Gale has a strong preference in avoiding fights, violence, and bloodshed [1]. He will always prefer diplomatic and persuasive approaches [2]. Reasoning is his best weapon, but if the individual we are dealing with can hardly be persuaded, he would approve of a deception or an intimidation as long blood is not spilt. Here is where we see his pragmatism in action, all the time. His primary goal at every moment is to avoid bloodshed. His philosophy could be summed up in the line “the means [as long as they don’t kill gratuitously] hardly matter if the end is worthy”. And for Gale, nothing is more worthy than life [3]. This doesn't cover only the life of innocents he cares about, it includes the life of the most dubious characters as well, such as Rugan or Crusher. Gratuitous death is meaningless for him. During the scene of Nettie we can have a glimpse of his philosophy towards life: he viscerally hates treating life as if it were nothing:

Gale: How dare she snuff out life with as much thought as snuffing out a bloody candle? […] It's not right to feel the cold breath of death in your neck, then move on as if it was nothing but a soothing breeze. One respects life by fighting for it, and one respects death by fearing it.

Gale: One should never be afraid to live life to the fullest.

Probably the limited amount of life he has due to the "orb" increased his sense of respect for life and its celebration. I personally understand Gale as a character who embodies the perspectives of a seriously ill person, knowing that their life may be short, but they will try to make the best out of it.

He doesn't only respect life per se, he also cares about its dignity. This can be seen in his explicit rejection to undead existences such as Connor (he explains that it would be merciful to put an end to his undead nightmare), or in his disapprovals of humiliation and torture [9]

We could suspect that this emphasis in protecting any life comes from the fact that only people who are alive can (sometimes) be forgiven or/and change. This is not explicit, but since he is a character who talks about being better and wiser than his previous self, about acknowledging mistakes, about forgiveness, this interpretation seems reasonable.

These concepts of kindness and compassion combined with “the mistakes of the youth” are repetitive in his interactions and approvals [5,12]. Of course, they echo in his soul since they are reflections and desires of his own experience. This pattern covers forgiving children in particular [5], and disapproving hard judgements [16], especially on matters whose story is not fully understood by Tav. This means he doesn't like quick judgements when he doesn't know the whole story first. This scenario can be easily seen during Karlach's quest, he reserves his judgment until knowing Karlach's side: There are always two sides to each story.

Gale: I have to say I don't know if agreeing to this hunt was such a wise idea. Who's to say who's the real villain in this tale of devils and masquerades? [...]When we track Karlach down, let's chat before we chop.

Similar concept appears during his Revelation scene, when he encourages and keeps asking Tav to listen to him first before judging. This is also the reason why in his Loss scene he would disapprove if Tav quickly assumes that his loss of Mystra was due to arrogance. Tav judged him without knowing the whole story. However, once Tav knows the whole story, Gale will accept any judgement from them without approval penalties during the Revelation scene.

He approves all actions that imply helping others in hard times and disapproves of them if they were done out of greed [4]. He is an animal lover [6,7]. Being kind to animals and treating them good will increase his approval, while animal cruelty will earn his disapproval. Same goes for humanoids: any display of gratuitous violence that could have been prevented with a trick or a diplomatic approach, any humiliation forced upon others, any torture or situation of slavery, is disapproved [8, 9, 11].

In particular, Gale seems to advocate the philosophy of “give others their own medicine”[18] or in other words: poetic justice. We can see this during the Myconid colony; he approves of helping the Myconid to avenge the young killed by the Duergar, adding the comment: “Wicked killers deserve wicked ends”. He is implying to give them a similar, wicked medicine to the Duergars. Another less deadly situation of this kind is shown during the foot situation with Crusher: Gale is the one suggesting “pungent poetic justice” and telling Tav that they should force Crusher to kiss their feet.

The most iconic scene, however, is during Nettie's, if Tav lies during her interrogation. As a hot-headed reaction, Gale states that he would have poisoned Nettie if this situation would have happened to him. Although, after calming down, he approves of and confirms Tav's actions [if Tav managed to persuade Nettie to give them the antidote]

Gale: A taste of her own medicine is what she deserves! […] But you handled it, and you handled it well.

In this scene we also see a pattern: Gale is shown as a fallible human; his most visceral reaction during the first moment is anger and indignation, giving us a hint that he is not so rational when it comes to emotional states. An extremely obvious, human concept.

The scene of Nettie trying to kill a potential menace (the victim of a MF) reverberated in his consciousness, projecting immediately a fact in his mind: if he ever dares to reveal his "orb" problem, and anyone knows what a danger he represents—no matter how stable it looks—people will want to remove the menace by killing him.

This is the reason behind his words “It's just that, had it been me... had it been...” Gale knows that this simplistic and common thinking in removing what's dangerous would end up turning into a more destructive tragedy in his case than in any infected victim of the tadpoles. So this combination makes us see, for the first time, an emotional Gale. After some seconds, he cools down and returns to his more rational, diplomatic, and moderate self. What we can read here is that Gale would be very prone to rush decisions or to make mistakes under emotional circumstances. We will learn later that the other mistake he made under emotional stress ended up with the "orb" stuck in his chest. A third mistake was done during the party, once more under the emotional stress of a potential abandonment by Tav due to the true nature of the orb.

Everything related to the “orb”—which is his most traumatic experience—naturally makes him more emotional and prone to mistakes. To see how truly traumatic the "orb" is in his life we can notice the following patterns during the meeting scene: he speaks about the tadpole in a relaxed, rational way, despite the traumatising experience. He first asks for an archwizard instead of for a cleric, because his priority is the orb. Gale's main fear is not the tadpole, but the orb. If we remember his words after the consumption of the artefacts, we realise he lives in a permanent state of anxiety and raw fear, and probably pain too, given his facial gesticulation when anything interacts with the "orb" (whether artefacts or Tav's hand). His banter with Shadowheart reinforces the concept that he always has a knot in the stomach. When he accepts the deal with Raphael, it seems to be related to the orb, not to the tadpole. The effect of the "orb" has ceased, but the tadpole is still in Gale's head since we still need to roll against a high DC and not only against a 1DC during this scene, so we can assume he still has the tadpole despite Raphael's deal. See the post about "The Tadpole" in Gale for more details.

Gale is a character that represents human experiences deeply related to growing up: mistakes done in the past, and the acceptance of not being forgiven despite the desire of wanting to. This can be easily seen during the conversation of the second tadpole dream, where Gale's mood is foul and we learn that his deepest desire is for Mystra to forgive him, but he also knows it's impossible for that to happen. He detects the lie in this dream because he has accepted that Mystra will never forgive him. Gale is the story of mistakes done during youth with grave consequences, of acknowledging them and trying to make them right, of surviving those mistakes, and depending on the interpretation, he is also the story of an ill dying man, with a gentle vision and deep care for life.

The great majority of his approvals are based on actions that show kindness and compassion, both reiterative concepts that are so important in his character that they come from his lips when we see the goblin party:

Gale: The shadow within is spreading like poison, corrupting kindness and compassion. [Only after a tough DC of 15]

In combination with: Gale: I don't know myself anymore. All this... It's not who I am. Around you, I'm not who I want to be. I should leave.

These lines show how, in a sudden change to an evil path, Gale would start doubting his own morality, explaining that the cause of it is the "orb" itself, corrupting the most core aspects of his personality. This corruption may or may not be lore-related. It's not completely clear what Gale's "orb" truly is. For more details, check the post of the "Orb".

His constant critical thinking comes from his advocacy to non-conventionality [15]: a true scholar will always explore all the options and hypotheses before reaching a conclusion. Therefore, Gale would approve of any non-conventional way to fix a problem [15] as long as it doesn't potentially cause harm or bloodshed [1,2,3,8,9]. Due to his own background, Gale will always advise to be very careful of the consequences of one’s actions. This can be easily seen when, after encountering the caged goblin Sazza, Gale would advocate to explore the possibility of reaching Gut Priestess to cure the tadpole. However, when Tav helps Sazza to escape, Gale will comment briefly against this action.

Gale: I know I said it's not inconceivable a goblin priestess could help us. And yet... was it really wise to set another goblin free so she can arrange introductions? […] consider the consequences. What if she leads her entire tribe to the grove? Tav: I don't care, I owe this grove no allegiance. Gale: No allegiance, no. Though we don't need to sign its death warrant

Once more we see that Gale is up to using any (unharming) means to get a goal, but not at any cost. He has a clear line he doesn't like to cross: life [3]. Avoiding putting other people's lives in danger is very important for him. We see this concept over and over in most scenes.

He doesn't likerushed decisions, and in that same train of thoughts, he will disapprove any use of unknown magic or tricks when nobody in the group can truly understand how they work [17], for example the tadpoles or Raphael's deal (he is against accepting it quickly, but he will approve of having a more cautious attitude and carefully thinking about it).

Since the moment we meet him, we can infer he is obsessed with the artefacts. It's obviously understandable: he doesn't want to die, but also, he doesn't want to kill all those that will be caught in the eruption of the orb. For this reason he will insist on the loot in the Temple Ruins despite knowing that grave robbery is not correct.

Gale: Bad form, isn't it? Grave robbing? […] Let's have a look at the loot. It isn't for your pockets only.

He keeps pondering life over death: although he respects the dead, he will always value more the living creatures in the present. This is also what pushes Gale to suggest Tav to open Rugan's chest. Stealing from the evil Zhentarins is not something that will weigh on his consciousness too much. Besides, he knows it belongs to a wizard: meaning that the chance for it to contain a powerful artefact is really high. Similar suggestions will be said about the Idol of Silvanus, but talking with him in the camp will show us that he won't approve of taking it, only as a last resort. He keeps pondering the living over a sacred piece of stone, since he knows the druids won't take the stealing very peacefully. Once more we see Gale's respect and care for life, trying to minimise damage as much as the circumstances allow him.

Gale is also a survivalist. He doesn't want to die, he loves celebrating life in its more mundane and small details. He is an emotional character for a wizard, a bit strange since they are usually portrayed as more rational and cold, losing their lives among dusty books. However, Gale has shown in many scenes that he prefers to survive without killing, but if he has to, he will do it, dealing with the weight of it in his consciousness because killing unprovoked affects him (scene in the camp after killing the druids, or the goblin party scene).

His moral in preventing gratuitous death sometimes will conflict with his own survival, especially if he is by an evil Tav's side. He couldn't accept bloodshed when other peaceful options were available and possible to reach. This is clearly shown during the goblin party, where Gale's consciousness suffers and feels the corruption of the "orb" killing the kindness and the compassion inside him. He accepts that wanting to live is a powerful drive, but he doesn't support this massacre, questioning if all that blood was necessary. A Tav killing the tieflings seems to lose the possibility of pursuing Gale romantically, at least in EA so far. For Gale, survival is important, but the means to do it (when they can cause death) matter too. Life is worth preserving.

The usual archetype of survivalist tends to be an individualist one who would survive at any cost without remorse because that's the “law of the jungle”, the strongest must survive. However, Gale seems to embody a different concept of survivalist that it's hard to put in words: a sort of communal survivalist, trying to survive in coexistence with his community: he wants his survival to imprint the least harm possible (even though sometimes it would not be possible), trying to help those around him as long as his condition allows it; for example, despite wanting Gut's potential cure for the tadpole, he would disagree in helping Sazza escape because she will lead the goblins to the Grove, no matter the fact that doing this will grant them their introduction to the priestess.

His list of approval shows that his sense of survival is always pondered with the consequences that it can cause on others (check the post with the "Extensive list of Gale's approvals"). The whole concept of the "orb" has this motivation as well: he wants to live and survive, but he also can't give up because his body would kill many, so he needs to do as much as his moral allows him to keep it in check. If he cannot do it any longer, he promises to minimise the disaster as much as possible by erupting in the deep Underdark or in a desolated corner of Faerûn (and considering his ridiculous list of approvals and disapprovals, we know he is honest in not wanting to kill gratuitously). Gale acknowledges his own mistakes, trying—to the best of his ability—to deal with them without catching others in them. Although all his speeches keep emphasising that he is a mere human, and plans may fail.

At some point, if he wants to survive “not at any cost”, he will be forced to ask Tav for help during the scene of the stew (available only for medium approval or higher). As a gesture of honesty, Gale will set a boundary before making this request, acknowledging its unfairness but giving Tav the decision to proceed or not. He is not denying to explain the details later, but at the moment he can't speak the “why” of his condition no matter how curious Tav is. Tav will decide whether they can keep their curiosity on the matter.

We will understand later that this impediment comes as a precaution as well as consequence of his personal trauma with Mystra and the "orb" (See post about "Gale: Manipulation, Lies, and Trust"). So, he is very clear about setting the conditions in which this conversation will happen from the beginning. The easiest way for Gale to avoid this whole situation would have been by simply lying, but he opted for an honest approach with clear out-loud reservations, knowing he was asking for more trust than he was allowed to, but the intention behind is more than important. There is a clear, huge contextual detail that we can't miss: this scene doesn't happen because of Gale's whims, he is forced to ask for help since his condition “is not a patient one” and will endanger everyone if not kept at bay.

This detail where Gale explicitly asks for an exchange of trust is not present if Gale's approval is neutral or lower. In this case, Gale would not care about giving a context to his strange request: he doesn't trust Tav and he doesn't expect to be trusted either, he only wants the artefacts to keep his condition in check for his sake and the sake of others. We can understand this change of attitude depending on the approval as he doesn't want to give any extra explanation to someone he is not interested in building a relationship with. For more details, check the post about "Gale: Manipulation, Lies, and Trust".

I personally support the idea that nobody in canon Faerûn is free of racial prejudices since Forgotten Realms lore has been created based strongly on fantasy racism. I've read that WotC wants to move forward and improve this aspect in 5e, but so far what they allowed Larian to do with the Tieflings in BG3 seems to show the contrary. So, since apparently we are going to face fantasy racism anyways, I will try to analyse racial prejudices from all chars. When it comes to Gale, it's a bit far-stretched to point out unjustified racial biases. He has a vague comment about Rashemi that some people may consider a faerunian saying. Personally, I think that line is a bias forced into him to have a particular dynamic with Minsc (the Rashemi “silly” companion -we all can see where Larian seems to go with this). Gale clearly sees tieflings, gnomes, and even goblins as people, and has a cautious attitude towards some githyanki (at least that's what we can infer with Lae'zel when we find her in the cage), but given the githyanki lore it's pretty reasonable to see them as dangerous creature that could kill people on the spot. So far, he seems to have no racial preference either [10].

As it was said before, he prefers to avoid killing people, but that doesn't mean he won't do it if his life depends on it. He will prefer persuasive and defusing approaches, but if he needs to kill to defend innocents or his own life, he won't hesitate. So therefore, stories about characters making mistakes or having violent excess in an effort to protect themselves or what they hold dear will be understood by him but hardly approved [19]. He tends more to approve a call out of that excess than approving an excuse for it.

Gale has deep abandonment issues that can be easily seen when he defends Astarion from being handed over to Gandrel. We need to put this in context before going on: for Gale, Astarion represents a danger as a vampire who attacked one of them during their sleep. By the display of meta-knowledge, we know with certainty that their approvals and disapprovals are mostly opposite: What one approves, the other will disapprove and vice versa. Getting rid of Astarion should be something that Gale would approve, however, he doesn't. If we explore his comments we will realise that what Gale disapproves from this situation is Tav's abandonment. After Mystra's abandonment, he knows very well that “Loyalty is such a very rare commodity”, and the few situations in EA in which Tav can display abandonment, resound strongly in Gale.

Gale is a scholar with a strong balanced rational side. But unlike the trope, he also embraces an emotional side that, so far the info we received in EA, it's the side that makes him prone to mistakes.

As an amateur poet, Gale loves words. We can obviously notice this in his verbose attitude, but also in the way he carefully uses words. One of his characteristic words is “spectacle”. He has also shown a reiterative—although not always—uneasy use of the word “fun”. Using “fun” as a way to describe the night spent with Gale gives him a slight uneasiness. “That’s a word for it.” He disapproves of using the word “Fun” after the Mayrina/Connor situation, in which scene Gale alludes that “your new company may be a proof of how depraved and twisted you are to see that tragedy as “fun”. Personally I think this is a direct allusion to Astarion, who considers Mayrina's situation as “entertainment”, in the same way he considered as “fun” the show of Arabella's death (two of several instances where he used that word). Gale also doesn’t use the word sex during EA, instead he uses romantic ones such as love-making, intimacy, art of the night/body. In the most technical case: coitus (used only when he is talking about “goblinoid intimacy” in the expression “post-coital snack”). These details are showing not only his poet/romantic side, but also his interpretation of sex from his perspective: sex can only be possible through a connection. We know he doesn’t engage in casual sex with Lae’zel if he is not romanced, and his romance can only potentially start if Tav shares that deep connection with him through the Weave.

Another detail related to words is that Gale has always used an infection/disease-related vocabulary to explain the “orb” stuck in his chest: infested, taint, shadow spreading

[…] I failed to control [this chaotic magic]. Instead it infested me. […] This Netherese taint... this orb, for lack of a better word [..] […] the shadow within is spreading like poison, corrupting kindness and compassion. [...]

Gale apparently has a particular way to sense magic. I have no way to check this in-game, but it seems very strange how he immediately identifies magical artifacts without casting Detect Magic. There are some extra scenes as well where he says to taste or smell the magic in some objects. Even his encounter with Shadowheart, besides being considered a flirt, could be also interpreted as him detecting the magic that we saw later in her hand or maybe the dark magic that blocks her memories, since Gale pointed out about a curtain covering her soul: “if the eyes are the mirror to the soul, yours have dark curtains across the mirror” (a very ominous flirting if it’s only a flirt)

This makes me suspect that, if the "orb" is not giving him this skill, it may be a consequence of having been Chosen of Mystra (for more details read the post about "Mystra and her Chosen ones"). If this is the case, he may have hindered remains of theirs powers when it comes to detect magic at will.

Gale has a perception of magic with all the senses: he sniffs and tastes magic. During the mirror scene you have an option related to [Arcana] tag where he “Sniff the mirror, trying to understand the nature of its magic”. A wizard Tav will just “Inspect the mirror”. He also said that he could “taste” the magic in the necromancy book and in the runes of teleportation.

What we know of his family is little: when he was a kid there was a housekeeper in his life (mentioned only once during the scene of the harpies) and his mother that seemed to have personally raised and cared for him (mentioned twice: in the ruin temple scene, and in his banter with Wyll)

Tav: Why care about decorum in a long-abandoned tomb? Gale: Because my mother raised a gentleman. Then again, to be alive is to be curious.

Wyll: Between the orb and the bug you've got more than your fair share of unwelcome passengers. Gale: What can I say. Mother always taught me to be a gracious host.

This post was written in May 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

#bg3 meta #gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #bg3 early access #bg3

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nopperabounet · 3 years

Text

Let’s all enjoy some ISSAY today~ as a treat!

I thought it would be nice to show how very loved Sakurai is today on his birthday~! And what better way than sharing ISSAY’s kind words, he just . . . glows with love for Sakurai and it’s beautiful to read.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

音楽と人- PHY vol.15 February 2020 Special Talk with ISSAY (Der Zibet) Parade III ~ Respective Tracks of BUCK-TICK~ Text by Kanemitsu Hirofumi Translation by Lola

In my humble opinion, the song you did for the tribute album felt like it was made for you and Der Zibet didn't it? Even Sakurai-san said so, he told me, "'Ai no Souretsu' is perfect for ISSAY-san . . . . . ."

I am so pleased to hear that. When I was asked to participate in the tribute, my immediate response was, "Of course I will do it!" but then I became incredibly anxious about it you know.

Due to song choice?

Yes. Because when I was ready to try to select a song there is just such a vast amount to choose from as you would expect from a band that has been active constantly for the past 30 years . . . . . .

True *smiles*.

I spent several days listening to different songs but because they have so many good ones I ended up thinking, "Oh, perhaps I will do this one. But then again, this one is also good. . . . . . .ok, I'm lost." So I texted Atsushi-kun about it *smiles*.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

"I'm having a hard time," I wrote *smiles*. And then I get, "You could do things in this way, yes, but you could also choose by another means."

That was his advice?!

It was but I ended up ignoring it *smiles*.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Although at first, I did think I would give up on choosing a song in this way. Since there is such a great number of songs to select from, I decided to discuss with HIKARU (Yoshida Hikaru/Guitar) which ones might be interesting from the band's perspective. When it came to selecting songs in this way there were only two or three that I thought I would like to sing with Der Zibet even though there were a number of others that I wanted to try to sing myself without the band.

And which songs were those?

That's private!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I could not even tell Atsushi-kun *smiles*. Anyway, so I sent those few songs to HIKARU and asked him which one he thought would be best, and he told me. "Ai no Souretsu" was in first place. In truth, I also thought it would be really interesting to try this song with Der Zibet because it was a song I wanted to try to sing, and so that is how it got chosen. It would seem as though my thoughts and HIKARU's were on the same wavelength.

And what was it that you were thinking, specifically?

I was thinking about the image the music of "Ai no Souretsu" possesses. The lyrics contribute to this as well, this feeling of loneliness, and isolation. In addition to that there is also a romanticism to both. This is something that we strive to portray through our perspective as well. And I guess it was about three years ago right? When I saw them perform this song in Budoukan, it left a deep impression on me, it's a memory that stayed with me. I thought that if we did this song, surely we could do so in a way that would express BUCK-TICK's views without fundamentally changing them while also being able to express Der Zibet's sound.

What did you think of "Ai no Souretsu" the first time you heard it?

It was absolutely Atsushi-kun's style. I mean it has this immense feeling of . . . . . .becoming lost along your way, and it calls to mind an empty landscape. What he depicted in his world is also incredibly close to my own perspective as well. While he and I might cope with this feeling of solitude differently, it is something I understand all too well.

And how do you cope with that ISSAY-san?

Rather than coping, it's more that it is a basic part of who I am. So rather than confronting it, I acknowledge that this has always been a part of who I am so there's nothing to really be coping with. It is just something that is there.

You don't think Sakurai-san feels the same?

Well, I think he might. Otherwise, he could not do what he does. It's just that with him, when he sees this part of himself, his heart wavers about it, and it's like he needs to change it, and I feel as though this pattern of his differs from my own.

In what way?

The thing about Atsushi-kun is . . . . . .and this is just my impression but, for instance when I first saw him I was utterly astonished by him, by that feeling of being lost and of having a wavering heart. And I could not help but wonder what was it that caused his heart to be so? What is it that he keeps searching for with all of his heart? That is the gap between us that fascinates me.

I see. Even though it's sad, you can't help but wonder what the sadness is about, and what the loneliness is about as well, and you end up worrying about it until the very end.

Yes. And when it comes to his heart, I feel that he is a perpetual question mark.

A question mark?

Yeah. May I say that? *smiles*

I am asking you to explain *smiles*.

Various people have varying interpretations of him, and I realize that is not quite an answer but, the thing about being in doubt of his feelings is that of course you cannot say with certainty what it is not without a doubt, and it is this constant vacillation that makes me question why in the world he is like that, and that is why to me he is a question mark.

Is this why you feel you are opposites?

I am someone who by nature my songs are a performance, but in his case, he is the opposite because he is being sincere. That is the slight difference between us but as far as I am concerned because it is something I understand well, it is easy for me to get into it.

I see.

But you know for a number of years now, his strength has felt incredible to me.

His strength?

I could feel his sheer strength to stand there on his two legs, that took guts.

How did you find the sound side of things with this song?

We finally finished the track down but all in all, everything went rather smoothly. As I was just saying before, I wanted to take care to have that romanticism along with the solitude and loneliness, but I was aware that it could end up having a very bleak sound. But I think that's where HIKARU's sense made a difference so that it came out rather well didn't it?

It did.

We have songs with similar outlooks right so because of that we had the same approach but while being aware that this is also a cover. I kept wondering what to do about that, and that's when HIKARU had the idea to have it be a tango . . . . . .even though the song isn't a tango at all *smiles*. I think it really suited the song. It's like you're in a different era. Within that sort of sound I could really allow myself to sing freely *smiles*.

You sang freely? *smiles*

Yes. Because this time the image was clear in my mind when it came to singing so I figured I would do so honestly. Without anything extra or gimmicky, or any weird vibrato either *smiles*. Once I knew this is what I wanted to do, I thought I could stand up and sing it frankly.

What did the members think of it?

We talked about it the other day at the after party for the Yoyogi show. I got quite drunk you know but *smiles*, I do remember Atsushi-kun complimenting me on it like, "It was so good." He also asked me, "So . . . . . .you didn't find this song difficult to sing did you?" *smiles* And when I told him, "I did, actually." He said, "Of course, it is a very difficult song after all."

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You know even our way of writing lyrics is different. When it came to writing this song, Atsushi-kun is very symbolic in his imagery and he uses these impactful words and phrases in the refrain. I do not really have that ability with my writing, and as a singer, these sorts of lyrics are incredibly difficult for me you know. I feel that is what makes him incredible as a vocalist. So you know . . . . . . I absolutely couldn't mess up! *smiles*

But you did make it work as a Der Zibet song, ISSAY-san.

If that is what you think, then I am happy. Because it's a song that I really love I think I'd like to try singing it during my own lives as well. No matter how the arrangement is, I would love it if one day I could sing it with Atsushi-kun, as a vocalist that would make me incredibly happy.

I would absolutely want to hear that. While it's true that your outlooks are very similar, you also filled the song with incredible love.

It is a tribute so would it not be terrible if I did it any other way? It would ruin the whole essence of it from the start. After all it is my very love for the piece and for them as musicians that made me unable to do it any other way, and I think that is what made it so enthralling. We may not be the same as people but, I think it's important to accept that about each other, and our differences in how we do things is something that I thought about a lot as a vocalist.

You created a wonderful tribute.

Because I sang with love for BUCK-TICK as a band, and with love for Atsushi-kun *smiles*.

#buck tick #buck-tick #ISSAY #Der Zibet

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writtenbynick · 3 years

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The Very Pretty Girl From The Studio

A few years ago I was teaching yoga classes out of a local studio, open to anyone that would like to attend. I had stopped working at the local gym recently, and did more private sessions for fitness, but mostly did yoga out of the studio (I have certifications in both fields). Mostly the clients were women in their 40′s or older, generally really nice people, but it was pretty rare that any of them were more than moderately attractive. That made it all the more noticeable when a really, really cute girl came in to try class one day.

She said that a family member of hers had come in and liked one of the classes, so she wanted to come try a class as well. I definitely lucked out that she happened to try mine. The best way to describe her appearance was to imagine a very “All-American cheerleader” type. She had the biggest brown eyes you could possibly imagine, amazing lips that were naturally very “pouty” for lack of a better term… long blonde hair, often done up in some sort of ponytail (the fancier-than-normal kind), or pulled back with little clips. She was maybe 5′3 at most, very petite, seemed to always be wearing pink or baby blue, and since it was yoga class she’d usually be wearing yoga pants. Almost always black yoga pants. They hugged her ass and legs so snugly, and she had a hell of an hourglass figure for them to work with. The “eyeball test” told me that her breasts were a medium C cup or so. She was pretty much the epitome of a girly-girl, and I mean that in the best of ways.

Over the next several months she returned to class very regularly. I learned that she was 23, in college to become a kindergarten teacher, and that she had a 2 year old daughter. We talked about plenty of things, but it was always pretty innocuous subject matter. Since I was at work, I wasn’t going to say anything that could be interpreted as inappropriate, or just lacking in tact.

I often made facebook posts about classes and the studio schedule, but she wasn’t on any social media, and asked if she could text me about classes. I was happy to share my number with her (but, to be fair, this was pretty normal for a fair amount of clients). She also attended classes with a few other teachers, but told me that she loved the details that I provided during class, and that it really helped her feel things in the poses that she never got from other teachers. I definitely have a “devil-in-the-details” mentality when I’m trying to instruct, so I really appreciated that it helped her get the most out of each class, and each pose.

Eventually, her college schedule changed, so she wasn’t able to attend my morning classes any longer (unless her classes weren’t in session for the day, for whatever reason). I still got the odd text from her, here and there, but not terribly regularly. And then one day she messaged me asking about my schedule, for fitness, for yoga, group sessions, private sessions… you name it, she was asking about it. I gave her the info she asked for, and she picked a group session, asking if she could attend, and ask me some questions after. I said that would be fine, and that I’d be happy to answer whatever she’d like afterward.

The session she decided to come along to was actually an outdoor class that took place after a hike. It was a really nice summer day, and she was in her standard girly-girl fitness attire. My group hiked up to our designated yoga spot, a little less than a half hour path up the side of a mountain if you pushed the pace (like going up the stairs the whole time). We got up to the top, did our yoga class, and she made it a point to stick with me when we walked back down.

We chatted about all sorts of things, and then at the bottom of the mountain, she said “can I ask you something? did you ever think about asking me out when I was coming to all those classes?”. I grinned, and told her “think about it - yes… but I was always at work, and didn’t want to be out of line”. I’m also about a decade older than her, and didn’t know if that was going to be appealing to her or not. She smiled, and told me that she liked that I was older, and that it made sense that I didn’t want to be out of line at work. She assured me that I’m a really good yoga teacher, but she also liked to come see me at the studio because she was attracted to me. She moved in close to me, put her arms around me, and leaned in for a very sweet kiss.

We had a few dates after that, usually going out to eat, and having very enjoyable discussions. Very early on I noticed that she took every chance to make physical contact… she’d playfully bump into me with her hips, lean onto my shoulder… put her hands on my hands, forearms, or even my chest. I really liked that she was the touchy-feely type, but without being overly clingy. She had very soft skin, and we often sat together and just talked… and I would run my fingertips over the skin on the back of her hands and wrists, her neck, her cheek… and we kissed quite a bit, deeply and passionately… her lips… oh man… those beautifully pouty lips…

And then, one evening after a date we found ourselves with some alone time. We’d only had a few dates so far, and she was pretty quick to say “we can’t have sex unless you brought condoms, I’m not on the pill”. I told her that since we hadn’t had that kind of discussion yet, I didn’t bring any, but that was ok, I didn’t have that kind of expectation.

Fast-forward about 20 minutes… we had been kissing, and groping, she was straddling my lap… my hands were entangled in her hair, my lips on her neck, her head tossing backward with gasps and moans of pleasure, her arms wrapped around me, and she started to grind up and down, up and down, up and down… she pulled away and looked me right in the eyes and said “I NEED YOU TO FUCK ME”.

I reminded her that we couldn’t do that, and I could see that she was almost oblivious to the world around us at that moment.. “Don’t worry” I said, and started to unbutton her jeans. She started feverishly tearing them off, revealing a pink thong that just barely covered her… I dove in, pressing my mouth into her inner thigh, licking and nibbling, and dragging my tongue over her thong to the other side so I could repeat all of these motions again… I felt the muscles in her legs tighten up, and then I pressed my lips down on top of the pink material… the pressure made her let out an “oooooohhhhh” that was music to my ears…

I gazed up in the direction of her face, and her eyes were closed… her hands were laying on her chest, motionless, other than the heaving caused by her deep breathing. I pulled the pink material to one side and began to lick her, long slow strokes upward, again and again… I could feel her getting wetter by the instant. God, I love knowing how much pleasure a woman is feeling as I take my time and explore just what buttons to push… while one hand held the thong to the side and pressed my fingers into her thigh, the other hand started to manipulate her lips… the wetness and the build up had already been enough that her lips were more than ready to reveal more of her… I moved my fingers upward slightly, drawing her skin away from me slightly, revealing her clit.

My tongue pressed down flatly, and firmly, and slowly I dragged my tongue toward her clit… as soon as I made contact, I increased the pressure, and she let out an even louder “OOOOOHHHHHHHH”. I firmed up my grip, and started to move my tongue forward and backward, and then used just the very tip of my tongue to move over her clit, over and over, changing directions with every movement. She bucked so hard I thought she was going to come out of her skin. “OOOHHHH, OOHHHHHH… MMMM….. OOOOOHHHHHHH”. She was cumming, her hands gripped onto the muscles at the base of my neck, and I felt her hips press into my mouth. She held on for a moment or so while I kept applying pressure, and little by little, I felt her start to relax…

She let her body lay back again slowly, and I slowed what I was doing as well… but I didn’t stop…She kept moaning, and breathing, and her body had these little spasms that told me she had more in her, and I’m not one to back away unless a job is truly finished. I kept swirling my tongue slowly, and then moved my hand to take the place of my mouth… I lifted my head, and saw that she was again laying back with her eyes closed, one hand moved up to her face, her skin was flushed, and there was a slight layer of sweat on her skin… I moved my hands away, pulled the thong off of her and tossed it aside, and slid my finger over her lips once more, just the tiniest amount between her lips rather than on the outside… she again let out an “mmmmmmm” as I began to press my finger inside of her… “ohhhh, fuckkkk”… and then started to motion my finger upward and downward on her lips, almost like the movements of a painter’s brush… she let out a bit of a shiver every time my arm motioned upward… I brought my mouth back to her clit, and again licked, and pressed, and pinched with my lips…

For a second time, I could feel her body reacting… I knew what to pay attention to this time, and using my mouth I started to repeat the movements that got her there the first time, but this time it was in addition to my finger, which had started to press further into her, and then move its way forward and backward, forward and backward… The moans… fuck, I’m a sucker for a vocal woman… She started to react more strongly, I could tell she liked the inward-outward movement of my finger, and coupled with my lips and tongue pressing into her, she was starting to build up again… I continued, and began to quicken the pace and could feel her hips pressing into my face… momentarily, I slowed down and added a second finger, and again she let out an “ooohhhhh, oooohhhhh, yessssss, mmmmmmm”… I sped up again, my two fingers moving inward and outward, inward and outward, and my tongue swirling over clit again and again… her muscles tightened again and her body curled upward, her hands on the back of my neck this time… “OOOOOHHHHHHHH GODDDDD”, her nails clutched into me, and she started letting out short, sharp gasps and her body started to move in rapid shivers.

Once more, her body started to soften and she relaxed her muscles back to a laying position. Her moans became softer as well, but more continuous this time… I kept moving my fingers and tongue, slowly and softly… I was very much enjoying the “afterglow” of her second orgasm, I’m sure I had a wry, satisfied smile on my face which was still between her thighs… my fingers were still inside her, and I realized they hadn’t done all they could do… with my palm facing upward I began to curl those two fingers (my middle and ring fingers) with the pads of my fingertips pressing into the inside wall, I could feel the raised surface of her G-spot… the instant I touched it she let out another long moan, and her hands twitched. She looked down at me with her mouth and her big brown eyes opened wide, seemingly in disbelief.

I moved my face away from her pussy, I could feel the devilish smirk on my face, a reaction to how expressive she was, how evident the intensity of her pleasure had become. She grabbed my face and kissed me passionately. I always get turned on when a woman tastes herself on my lips, and she was ALL IN. Not just kissing me, but licking my lips, and my face, her hands moving and guiding my face, her fingernails gently pressing into my beard. Fuck, this was turning me on… but I wasn’t done with her… I moved my thumb to her clit, and pulled my fingers more firmly into her G-spot. Her body heaved powerfully, for a moment I was afraid her head would crash into mine, but she turned her face, her cheek pressed against mine and her fingers grasped me tightly once more. “mmmmmmMMMMMMMMM”…. “OHHHHH….. OHHH OHHH OHHH”, she was getting louder and louder, her body became frantic, the more I pressed into her G-spot and clit the more she lost control, her legs shook, her hands held on for dear life, she leaned into me, and I felt her body shiver even more strongly than before. “OOOOOHHHHH GOODDDDDDDD….. FUCKKKKKKK”.

She orgasmed again, and it was a thing of beauty. I could tell her mind was completely free from any thoughts that didn’t have to do with the sensations she was feeling. She writhed and moaned and just when I thought her body would soften, she continued to escalate, almost to the point that even I was surprised. And then she pulled her face away, looked me in the eye, and kissed me again. The kind of kiss that means to engulf a person. There was a different energy about her now, and her movements were different… she adjusted her body to move away from mine slightly, as soon as my fingers were no longer inside her, she dropped onto her knees in front of me, and took my fingers into her mouth, her eyes locked with mine. She sucked them strongly, then took them out of her mouth and licked them up and down, and it seemed like she hardly blinked as she did so.

This got me INCREDIBLY worked up. And she was as worked up as I could possibly fathom. She clawed at my jeans and hurriedly undid my belt. She couldn’t get rid of my jeans fast enough to meet the pace she wanted to move at. Very quickly drawing my boxer briefs down to my knees, she took my cock into her mouth and started to move forward and backward as fast as she could. Those perfect lips of her looked so fucking good wrapped around my cock. I was incredibly hard, and this felt amazingly satisfying. Those big brown eyes looked up at me, and she opened her mouth a little wider. I could see her teeth as she tried to take me a little deeper. She paused and then backed off a bit, and then repeated this, probably four or five times, and then gagged strongly, taking me out of her mouth and stroking instead while she took in a highly needed deep breath.

I can’t quite put into words the expression on her face. She knew exactly what she was doing, and was singularly focused, but also seemed almost vacant. Again she took my cock into her mouth, as deep as she could go, I could feel her tongue trying to move forward underneath my shaft, and then relax a tiny bit, drawing me slightly deeper. I was inside her throat as far as it seemed I could go, and she gagged once again. She was going to continually try to take more and more, gagging every time, and pulling away with a smile on her face.

She pulled away for air periodically, sliding her very petite hands up and down the length of my cock. “You’ve got a REALLY BIG DICK”. She grabbed it tightly, just gazing at it, visually taking it in for a moment. She licked at the veins on one side, and commented that my dick was roughly the same thickness as her wrist, and then took it into her mouth once more, pulling away with a loud popping sound, and repeating this several times, and then taking another deep breath and going down as deep as she could once again.

This time she backed up a little bit, and did something I didn’t expect at all… she stayed in place, took my hands in hers, and placed my hands on the back of her head. She stayed there motionless for a second or two, and then her eyes looked up at mine, her eyebrows raised and lowered quickly, just once. I held her head in place, and started to raise my hips, and lower them again, somewhat gently. I could feel that I was colliding with the back of her throat, and took my time going slowly. She put her hands on my thighs and backed away, looked at me and said “do you want me to suck it, or do you want to fuck my mouth? I love being facefucked… and choked, and you can call me whatever you want… I get off on that…”

I could feel that same grin on my face… I enjoy many aspects of the back and forth that sexuality has to offer… I’ve described it at times the same way that vampire in the movies isn’t allowed to enter your home unless invited… I won’t be overly rough or dominant until I know it’s welcomed and desired… but once I’m given permission, I won’t hold back…

I stood up, grabbing a handful of her hair and started to walk toward the wall… she crawled on her hands and knees, and kneeled in front of me with her back toward the wall. I positioned my cock right in front of her face, and moved forward until it made contact with her lips. “Open your mouth”. She did so, with a smile. “Good girl”. I ran one hand over her cheek, and then slid my cock forward into her mouth. Slowly at first, I moved my hips forward and backward, checking to see how far I could go each time. And then a little faster. And then a little deeper. And then she gagged, gasping for air, leaving a strand of saliva dangling from the head of my cock all the way to her lips.

Right back at it, I pushed her onto my cock once more… she grabbed the back of my thighs with both hands, and pulled herself as far as she could go. Her mouth was so wet, she was drooling all over as I held her head and fucked her mouth. Realizing how much drool there was, she lifted her shirt up over her tits, her spit landing on her cleavage and bra. She put her hands on my thighs again, and took me into her throat. I pressed my hips forward rapidly and repeatedly, and she gagged again. The wet sounds from her mouth were unreal, this was so nasty, so sloppy… “am I being a good little slut? tell me…’ she asked me. “You’re such a dirty slut, on you knees for my cock, aren’t you?”. “I’m a whore, and I want you to RUIN my little throat with your cock” she replied, smiling immensely… Goddamn, she had always looked so sweet and innocent to me, and now to know how dirty she could be… the best of both worlds, I was loving it.

I let go of any thoughts of holding back, and started to not just move my hips, but to really fuck her mouth and throat. She gagged again and again as I thrust my cock into her mouth. I held her head in place, and bucked my hips, her spit spilled from her mouth onto her tits, she let out a slight vocalization that could be heard intermittently as my cock moved in and out of her face. “Fuck, your little slutty mouth feels so good”, she moaned again in delight. Her right hand came up to my left, which I took to her throat, grabbing on with just a little bit of pressure. She moaned even more. I started to push even deeper into her throat. There was roughly an inch and a half left that she couldn’t take… Her eyes opened up widely, and I felt her hold on for as long as she could before she pulled back a bit with a loud gasp. Her eyes were starting to water, which I might not have noticed if it didn’t leave a little teardrop line from her eyeliner.

She immediately got right back to it. “I’m going to cum down your throat”, I let her know… I kept going at a feverish pace, and could feel my cock begin to throb. Thrust after thrust, I was getting closer and closer. Her moaning and gagging, the strings of spit, those big brown eyes, and her perfect lips… and how incredibly slutty she secretly was… I felt myself coming to climax, and continuing to buck my hips, I unloaded shot after shot of cum right into her throat. Unsurprisingly, she gagged again, but this time she looked like she had totally glazed over, entranced in what was happening, incredibly present in the moment, but completely removed from reality at the same time.

She stayed on her knees, staring at my cock, her hands on my legs, her breathing frantic… she was still recuperating from everything that had just taken place, and she coughed for a brief second… and then again… I realized that she had the hiccups, and each hiccup was ending with something of a cough… I wasn’t sure if it from the erratic breathing or the pounding her throat had taken, but either way she was soooo very satisfied with herself… “you have a really, really big dick, and FUCK, you came a LOT” she repeated… It sounded so good coming from those perfect little blowjob lips of hers…

#me #mine #self #nick #story #my story #memory #my memory #memories #my memories #true story #sexy #hot #yoga studio

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nonbinary-androids · 3 years

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Tamara, The Betrayer

So, I was writing a response to a post by @teartra and @fxthieves (link will be in first rb) that was talking about the characters, and me being me, I wanted to hone in on one really niche aspect of Tamara’s character and then it hit 1k words and I decided it needed to be its own post lmao

I’m going to put this out there: I like that she does this! It adds a really interesting layer to her character, and especially in regards to how the reader will interpret her relationships with Call and authority! However, the way that these fairly serious breaches of trust are handled (or rather, not handled) is.... really bad.

Also, as an additional preface: I am not arguing whether or not Tamara was right to betray Call in these situations, nor does any of this make Tamara a bad person or a bad character- they make CC and HB bad writers, and Tamara seriously underdeveloped. Don’t let this make you hate her!!! Let this be the motivation that you need to write her the narrative that she deserves!

There are two main betrayals that I’m going to bring up here: when Tamara tells Rufus about Alastair in TCG, and when she abandons Call with Joseph in TSM.

Both of these happen because Tamara thinks that she knows better than Call, and so she goes over his head and reports him to authority figures; namely, the Assembly. In both cases, there is danger in going to the Assembly. In TCG, the Assembly know knows to target Call’s father, and Call has serious (and reasonable) worries that Alastair will be hurt. In TSM… well, even before the whole continuation of the war thing, she knows that the Assembly has imprisoned Call in the past. Now that’s he successfully raised the dead, what does she think they’re going to do??? Throw him a party?

Now, I’d like to note that this is narratively appropriate- someone has to raise the stakes (although how high the stakes rose in TSM is.... borderline laughable), and Tamara does this in a way that tells us about her and creates drama within the group to be brought up later. The problem here is that it never really comes up again, as so often happens with these books. Call just forgives her after a little while (or after no time at all in the case of TSM), which makes their relationship feel really awkward, makes Tamara look like an asshole, and makes the whole Aaron-in-Call’s-head thing so much weirder- like, fam, this girl was ready to start a war bc you didn’t want to kill him, but now that he’s living in your body (and feeding you lines?), it’s all cool?? No hard feelings from anyone involved????????? Hello????????????????

If they had actually fought over this and come to a compromise- I’m not saying it would have sold me on Calmara, but jesus christ, it would have made me a lot more comfortable throughout TGT. It definitely would have made their relationship more secure!

Going a little deeper into the implications that these betrayals have for the Calmara relationship, I think that this says something about the way that she sees Call.

As a disabled person, the way that she circumvents Call’s judgement kiiiiiiind of feels like ableism. One of the biiiiig issues in the realm of ableism is something called “infantiliziation”. On Tumblr, this is usually discussed in regards to turning people into soft uwu (usually very femme, for extra sexism) babies who can’t make their own decisions and calling them idiots, etc. This is also more commonly discussed in regards to afab trans people, east Asians, and neurodivergent folks, but it’s still a big problem in physically disabled people- however, this is usually seen in the later stages, where disability/presentation is seen as a reason to take away autonomy. That sounds drastic, but it often happens in small ways, often ones that are intended to be helpful, like steering a wheelchair user without asking, or trying to lead a blind person by grabbing them. It often happens subconsciously!

Whether or not you think it’s ableism, I think it does show that she thinks of herself as above Call, at least unconsciously. She decides unilaterally that her own judgement is best in both of these cases, even though Call is more informed on the issue at hand. Now, you could argue that Tamara was coming at it from a less emotional, more objective angle, but she also steamrolls Call’s attempts to justify/explain his rationale, which makes this questionable to me. (Again, not arguing whether or not she was right to do this, just going over how this affects her character!) This makes sense for her character- she comes from a place of really high privilege within the mage community, and we see her benefiting from it.

This is likely also a reason for the way that Tamara betrays Call; she does it by going to the Assembly. Tamara grew up with the Assembly, and as a rich legacy with parents on the board, she’s never really seen them as anything but good. In other words, she grew up with a massive amount of privilege, and it’s this privilege that makes her turn to these authority again and again. She believes that they are fair and rational, most likely because they are fair and rational to her, even with evidence to the contrary.

(Sidebar: that privilege also ties in to something I’ve mentioned in the past: Tamara is the book smart one of the group, and she understands how to move through mage society, but she is not the one with real knowledge of the world. The person with actual practical knowledge of this system, the world, and how it treats people? That’s Aaron!)

Now, I'm going to reiterate what I said at the start because I know that this seems to be a very negative piece: DO NOT HATE ON TAMARA BECAUSE OF THIS!!!!!!!!! Yes, I’m talking about a lot of flaws that she has, but those flaws are good! Flaws tells us about who Tamara could be, should be, and how she should have grown over the course of the narrative. This is also a very narrow analysis, focusing entirely on two interactions, one of which happened when the books had gotten so bad that they’ve largely been ignored. Tamara Rajavi has the potential to be an incredible character, and her flaws are just one facet to be explored.

#lee's wild scribbles #meta #magisterium #tamara rajavi #tcg #tsm #callum hunt #uhhhhh #ask to tag #?

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richincolor · 3 years

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SomeThoughts about Netflix's Shadow & Bone

This past Friday, the highly anticipated Shadow and Bone series premiered on Netflix and fans of the Grishaverse all over the world logged in to watch their favs come to life. There was much discussion of the inclusion of numerous characters from throughout the Grishaverse and that diversity was a focus in the casting of the show, especially Jessie Mei Li who is biracial, therefore changing the main character’s ethnicity to biracial Shu Han. Unfortunately, that decision didn’t pay off to well due to the showrunner’s handling of Alina’s ethnicity. Twitter blew up as people shared their hurt and warned others about what to expect.

I had planned to watch the show and happened to see one such warning before I watched the series so I was prepared. I watched a couple of episodes, then called it a night. The next morning I was unsettled and reached out to my fellow contributors here on Rich in Color. No one had seen it yet, but Jessica said she was planning to as well. As we chatted, I felt that our conversation should be shared with our readers, so Jessica and I decided to write our thoughts down and have a conversation after she watched a few episodes herself.

Oh, and spoilers abound!

First off, before we dive into this conversation: Have you read the Grishaverse series? How much did you know about the story going in?

K. Imani: As everyone knows I love fantasy so I’m open to reading all sorts of fantasy books. I read the Shadow & Bone series a few years ago and enjoyed it. When the Six of Crows duology came out I read those too and actually enjoyed those better than the original series. Why - more diversity? It also expanded the world and the different perspectives of “Grisha” like folk from other cultures. It was very clear from the writing that Bardugo realized her first series was very lacking in diversity and worked hard to change it. I actually re-read both series during quarantine, so I had a fair idea of what the Netflix series would be about.

Jessica: I’ve actually never read a single Grishaverse book! I know, shocking. I only knew two things about the series going into the show: 1) Six of Crows is a heist book? 2) Ben Barnes is a person who exists.

The cast announcement for any show is always so exciting, and Shadow and Bone was no different. How did you feel about the casting -- before and after you watched the show? What did you think was done well, and what did you think could be improved?

K. Imani: Before watching the show I was actually a bit confused about some of the casting choices. I didn’t understand why 3 of the main Six of Crows characters were in the show and I honestly did not make the connection to Alina and Mal being biracial. Knowing that the Grishaverse is “Russian-based” and knowing that some ethnic Mongolians are considered Russian I just found it cool that the show cast a person who didn’t fit a Russian stereotype. Oh boy was I way off! Overall I was pleased with the casting and think all the actors did a great job. I liked the few changes they did make with casting actors of colors for other roles to round out the diversity of the world.

Bringing it back to Mal, I was confused as to if he was supposed to be coded as biracial. I missed the reference in the show, but I did read somewhere that he was supposed to be as well and that is what bonded him to Alina. If that’s the case, then how come Alina was the only person to experience racism? That thought continues to sit on my heart because it shows that the writers did not really think through how they wanted to express racism and included it for the wrong reasons.

Jessica: My reaction was basically, “I’m happy that other people seem happy!” since again, I had no context for the show. Casting on Netflix shows often seems to be a case of “cool, this is some exciting casting… but definitely could be better and even more intentional.”

K. Imani: “More intentional” That is the word right there! Making a story more diverse is wonderful and fully reflects the world we live in, however if you just randomly do it without thinking it through it comes off as insensitive. I know Leigh Bardugo used this show as an opportunity to make her story better (and I do not begrudge her of that fact) but when one doesn’t think it through, the criticism that is being expressed is a direct result.

Jessica: Sidenote -- I ended up watching a booktube video titled “Darker Jesper, Fat Nina, Shadow and Bone Casting Thoughts” on booktube channel Chronicles of Noria about the casting. Highly recommend checking it out. I also recommend this profile on Jessie Mei Li, who talks about being gender nonconforming.

Did any changes in the Netflix adaptation stick out to you? Were there changes you liked or disliked?

K. Imani: My favorite part of the adaptation is how well the show runners included the Six of Crows characters into the narrative. The storyline completely worked for me and connected the two stories together. I really enjoyed the Arken storyline (and the character tbh) as it was used to flesh out the world of the Grishaverse, which made the series much more interesting. I also liked the change of making Ivan and Fedyor a couple instead of just Darkling’s henchmen as it humanized them and actually made me like Ivan because they were so cute together. Though how that will come into play after the events of Episode 8 will be interesting. I’m a sucker for the Enemies to Lover trope so I loved that Nina’s & Matthia’s story of how they came together was included here. In either Six of Crows or Crooked Kingdom (I don’t remember), it was told as a flashback, but I loved that it was moved here as their “origin story”, so to speak, and how it connects to the events of the Alina timeline.

What I didn’t like...the casual racism. It really bothered me and left me sad the next morning. For example, a certain poster shown in the first episode had me physically cringe and I was upset that 1) the production designers even created it and 2) no one, at no point, said that was a bad idea? Come on! It was horrible to see and I can imagine the hurt an AAPI would experience seeing that. And then, it got worse. Racial slurs thrown around a couple of times in the first couple of episodes to show that Alina is an outsider. They were jarring and took me out of the narrative. Having read the books I knew there was tension between the Ravkans and Shu Han, so I could understand what the show runners were trying to do, but it was actually never explained in show, hence making the racism feel random and just there for shock value.

Jessica: I saw tweets going around alluding to the racism Alina (and other characters to a less frequent extent) faced, so I braced myself for it. I’m only a few episodes in, and the instances so far were brief… but it just didn’t feel right. The foundation for this portrayal of racism wasn’t laid properly. And if the work of laying the foundation and really digging into what it means for the overall worldbuilding doesn’t happen… then why include it at all? Especially if it might be painful for certain viewers? I’m sure harm wasn’t the intent, but that’s the impact. Why not leave it out and let the show be escapism?

K. Imani: Jessica, the eyes comment took me out, not gonna lie. I audibly screamed. Anyone who has experienced a racist comment based on their looks felt that in their gut which is horrible when watching a show for escapism.

Jessica: Yeah, the eyes and rice-eater comments were especially frustrating. On top of it being a reminder of the racism Asians experience daily… it doesn’t make much sense. Like, canonically, do people in Ravka not eat rice? An American’s conception of racism isn’t necessarily going to make sense in a (Imperial Russia-inspired) fantasy world. But maybe I’m missing something since I didn’t read the original books.

And the eyes comment… whoof. When I was a kid, other kids would make fun of my eyes and ask me to, like, count seagulls because surely, I couldn’t see out of my eyes… And the other kids were also Asian! Internalized racism is so real. It’s disappointing that Shadow and Bone would include this experience as, I don’t know, discrimination flavor text. Surely there were better ways to portray discrimination that made sense within the Grishaverse…

Ellen Oh really said it so well: “If a writer is going to show racism against Asians, it's important to balance it with the beauty of all that makes us Asian also.” Where is the balance? Where is the nuance? Even if Alina’s Shu Han mother isn’t alive, couldn’t Alina have had a treasured Shu Han pendant? Just spitballing here. There were so many possibilities.

K. Imani: Exactly. I agree with Ellen and unfortunately there is no balance. That’s what makes it so hurtful. The focus is on how bad it is that she’s biracial and how bad the Shu Hans are for no specific reason. Because Alina is an orphan and grew up in Ravka, she unfortunately has no connection to Shu Han culture (or at least what is shown on screen) so all that she identifies as is Ravkan who just happens to look like a Shu Han person, but she doesn’t exhibit any pride in being Shu Han. Her ethnicity is just another obstacle to overcome which is all the more cringeworthy and why having Alina be biracial just to be biracial without thinking it through ended up being so problematic. Having her be biracial and using casual racism as an “obstacle” that she has to overcome is such a shallow interpretation of racism and shows the writers didn’t do the work to really think about the why the racism exists.

In addition to talking about what was done well and what went wrong or felt off about certain representation, it’s important to look at the “how.” How did this happen?

Jessica: I read on Twitter that one of the show writers is Korean and biracial -- which is awesome! I was really heartened to hear that. But at the same time, this highlights how important it is to have multiple marginalized voices in the room who can speak with some level of expertise. I don’t know the decision-making process that went into including this sort of surface-level, simplistic version of real world racism, but I wonder if anyone, at any point, said “is there a more nuanced and original way to portray this?” or “how will this affect Asian viewers?” Did someone bring it up, and they were overruled? What happened?

This absolutely isn’t a judgment on the Asian writers or staff on the show. When I’ve done collaborative writing, there were times I caught an issue and said “we need to be more sensitive about this” -- and there were other times when my teammates pointed out something I didn’t notice. It happens! That’s why it’s so important to have multiple marginalized perspectives when creating something -- especially when it’s a work as impactful and far-reaching as a Netflix show. Placing the burden of complex, nuanced representation on one, or a scant handful, of marginalized creators is just not going to work… and it’s not fair to the creators, either.

Frankly, this is a problem in so many industries -- film, publishing, games... there are so many “diverse” shows, games, etc with all-white or majority white teams. Good, nuanced representation can only happen when BIPOC / marginalized creators are the majority and have power behind-the-scenes. (This is why I’m really excited to watch the show Rutherford Falls -- half the writers room are Indigenous writers, as is the co-creator!)

K. Imani: Exactly! It’s great that one of the writers is biracial and Korean, but if she’s the only one how much input did she really have? I’m by no means knocking her experience but, say for example, that particular poster in the first episode. No one else behind the scenes found it problematic? There are many steps to a production process and that poster, if there had been more diverse voices present on the production staff instead of just 1 writer, would have been flagged as a huge problem and redone. The poster was supposed to be a “short cut” to show Ravkan/Shu Han tension but instead it came off as so profoundly racist and unnecessary. There are many other non-racist ways to explore the tensions between the two countries that could have been explored instead of just jumping to racism. And...as someone on Twitter pointed out, we never see the tension between the Ravkans and the Shu Han, but we openly see fighting between the Ravkans and the Fjierdans, so why were they not vilified to the same extent?

Jessica: Right. I’m definitely not saying racism can’t be portrayed in fantasy ever. But if you’re going to do it, make it make sense within the world. Don’t just use it as shorthand for “this character is Other.” I mean, experiencing racism isn’t what makes me Asian…

K. Imani: Boom! I’m going to repeat that for the people in the back...experiencing racism is not what makes a person Asian or Black, and if you are going to have racism in a work of art, be sure to provide balance to show all the other aspects of a person of color’s life.

Since we’re talking creators behind-the-scenes… which YA fantasy books by Asian authors do you think would make great Netflix shows or movies?

Jessica: I’ve got a list about a mile long, but I’ve cut it down to my top four:

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

Forest of a Thousand Lanterns by Julie C. Dao

The Tiger at Midnight by Swati Teerdhala

The Epic Crush of Genie Lo by F.C. Yee

You’re welcome, Netflix execs who are totally reading this blog. Hop to it!

K. Imani: I second the Tiger at Midnight series! I loved the first two books and can’t wait for the conclusion in June. While not YA, the City of Brass series would make an excellent Netflix series. Anything Maurene Goo writes would be fun rom-coms (because we need those too!).

Jessica: I mean, with To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before complete… Netflix clearly needs to start adapting Maurene Goo’s books.

K. Imani: Yes, the people demand it! I don’t care which book, just grab one of them and get the production started.

On a final note, I do want to say that despite the criticism the show rightly deserves, there was much about the show that was enjoyable. The storytelling was strong and moved at a good pace, the costuming was on point, special effects worked seamlessly into the narrative, and even small touches such as how the Grishas used their small science was visually interesting. Book adaptations are always hard to pull off well and the Shadow and Bone production team did a good job overall. Their intention towards adding more diversity is a step in the right direction, but just didn’t do enough. Let’s hope they learn from their mistakes and improve for season 2.

#shadow and bone

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carmenxjulia · 3 years

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Another Duane interview transcript, coming at you! This one was from a smaller Carmen Sandiego chatroom. There were several interviewers, so that’s why the name of the question asker changes. Get the details below the break! Stay tuned, more interview transcripts coming soon.

Duane Capizzi:

HI EVERYONE! I'M IN!

Sorry I'm late, I got lost on the way haha. Then got lost trying to change my PFP

Thanks for gathering! Shall we get started? Let's do some Q&A!

(as long as they are not geography questions haha)

Fuel:

What characters or plot points were cut from the final product?

Duane Capizzi:

Ooo, starting with a right hook to the jaw!

Let me think about that for a moment: I'm hesitant to give too much away because I'm really hoping we can tell more stories in this world at some point

Which is to say, we tend not to waste anything: if we don't use it when we originally planned, we usually find a way to use something later - and there's usually a "karmic" reason that we waited.

I'll also preface by saying this: I know season 3 was more of a mini-drop and some felt season 4 was rushed. But I wish EVERY season were longer. Season 1: ideally, i wanted the Pilot to be its own event and 10 more episodes after that (but we had to tell the post-Pilot story in 7. At the end of the day, that had its benefits: we got to the Shadowsan turn earlier and I think that's when a lot of viewers realized the ride they were truly in for). Season 2: we initially figured we'd need 5 episodes to have Carmen doing the ACME dance with Chief, and wound up doing it in 3 - mostly because it quickly became clear that Rio needed to be a 2 parter, and the Zack and Ivy backstory a rough 2 parter. So we squeezed 3 episodes worth of plot into 209. It was exhilarating!

So, we had hoped to have more episodes for Season 4 of course. We had a ton of ideas and had to compress things a bit. But honestly in many ways it was for the better. I know we all wanted to live in this world longer, but I think sometimes the flip side is true - when you have big ongoing storylines, it can get frustrating when some things drag out too long. But, we got all the "story" we wanted to tell in Season 4 - we just lost some "incident" if that makes sense. We would have taken longer to get there.

So, all that preface to answer the question: we wanted to do more musical numbers! We had a Bollywood dance sequence in a return to India caper with Paperstar. We wanted to do a famous Elvis suit theft in Las Vegas during an Elvis impersonator convention (Shadowsan's an early elvis guy; Brunt likes the Vegas "jumpsuit" era). We also wanted to do a thread where Gunnar gets captured by ACME so that Julia could interrogate him and he could play mind games with her a la Hannibal Lector and Clarice. CAVEAT TO ALL THIS: these were some ideas that were bouncing around, that may not have seen the light of day if we couldn't get them to work. But they were on our wish list.

re: "other stories" - I could live with these characters for another 32 episodes easily and there have of course been discussions. But alas, that is up to the powers that be. Let's keep fingers crossed - and keep the Carmen love alive online so that someone up there takes note

There is more of course, but those are some things that spring to mind.

Fuel:

Were there any scenes cut for time that were your favorite?

Duane Capizzi:

Not much springs to mind: our directors were amazing at getting everything in the scripts to fit naturally (and in fact, I was the one who was usually suggesting trims to let other things breathe, etc). We were limited to 22 minutes of episode time, NOT counting front and end credits so a little longer than the average show. We have a pretty good idea when the SCRIPT is too long, so the cutting usually happens at script stage before it gets to the board crew so that they don't waste efforts over-boarding material that won't be used.

We had hoped to build out Chase and Carmen teaming up for the first time, meeting at Carmen's hotel lobby etc for more scenes of them together; but had to reduce that to get that all to fit in the VERY packed episode 406. But again, tighter was fine considering. That's one area that leaps to mind. (note that when I say packed, I don't mean that in a bad way: we spend a lot of time pouring over details in editing to make sure everything gets its due).

If I think of anything, I'll circle back at a later point. But the simple answer is that scenes were usually trimmed or compressed at script rather than board or animatic. So nothing comes to mind. I know it's hard to believe, but "shorter is usually better."

except for my answers to fan questions of course

Fuel:

We saw that in s4 episode 6 that Julia's mother(?) is wearing a necklace remarkably similar to the one Julia wears all the time. Is this the same necklace and if so, why was it given to Julia?

Duane Capizzi:

Just when I thought I was detail oriented! Wow! You guys blow me away

I can't take credit for that: it was either the board artist or director who added that. They do slip things in! As I've said before, EVERYONE on the crew really brought their A-game and were as deep thinking and as passionate as I was/am about the show.

It's a nice detail and I would say your interpretation works!

It took me three or four reviews before noticing that the team had slipped in baby Carmen near the play set in Mom's front yard at the end of 408. When I caught it, I was like: bravo!

Fuel:

When they first met, Zack and Ivy said to Carmen that they were the only family they had, do you know what happened to the rest of Zack and Ivy's family?

Duane Capizzi:

I don't. At least, I don't yet until such a time that I might have the opportunity to explore that. It was important to their relationship with Carmen that they be orphans, so they had that common bond (aside from being "thieves who steal from bad guys" - even if it was only gonna be one time for Zack and Ivy).

I know there are writers out there who like to do entire bio's for characters up front but i'm not one of them. It could be a trap in many ways. I like to have a general idea but be open to the demands of the ongoing storyline. You discover things along the way - it's like you're taking a journey with the characters by writing them, and the longer you spend, the better you get to know them (that was not a prepared statement by the way - I just made that up but I'll have to use it again :). So in Z/I's case it wasn't important to the story or Carmen's relationship, we felt. Conversely, we STARTED with Shadowsan's family backstory with 203, but more important to me was that we use it as a platform to explain why he stays with Carmen and crew. He really has no home at that point, so it was relevant to the present ongoing story. Which is what made that especially powerful to me.

Also, there's always a push-pull between telling character back stories while balancing them with ongoing episodic plots. You have to service both. If you just tell back story, then you're writing a biography

Arden:

What was the biggest challenge when designing these characters, especially the pre-existing characters from the series in the 90's?

Duane Capizzi:

This is probably more of a question for Chromosphere, re: challenges. But from my standpoint overseeing that process, the first thing I'll say is that we weren't necessarily trying to be "true" to those characters since we reinvented nearly every one from the ground up. (with the exception of Carmen of course - her trademark red hat/coat weren't going anywhere! But mostly the update with Carmen was in the styling of her "outerwear"

ALTHOUGH: I will admit that I was pushing for Carmen to have shorter hair as Carmen. I thought it would be a cool update. Chromosphere were really passionate about giving her long full hair and I have to see that they were right. The short tomboy cut worked so well for Black Sheep anyway. We had a different hair style for each of her ages.

So about the reinventions: Gunnar is in spirit a similar character to the original (old colleague in Vile and an early mentor if I remember), but his presentation completely different. We weren't trying to be "in canon" with the original. The beauty of CSD is that every incarnation has been its own entity so that freed us to reimagine the characters. THE CLEANERS, for instance: gimme some Cleaner love! There were a pair of janitors from the original game named RICK AND NICK ICK. They were literally janitors, it was too silly for our purposes. But, it's one small step to make them "Cleaners" (in the sinister hit men sense) - and lo, our reinvention.

So to summarize the answer to your question, they weren't really challenges to me so much as FUN to creatively reinvent the original characters (many of which were from the game, so not really "characters" per se with dialogue and inner lives). Whenever we could, we tried to use character names from the originals and update their looks and personalities. Where we couldn't find an equivalent for what we needed, we created characters from whole cloth. For instance, it seemed a miss to do a heist show without a tunnel guy and a high rise climber guy. Hence, LC & ET, everyone's favorite taco truck vendors!

(yes, i've seen some short hair carmen fan art on Twitter - someone did a great one recently!)

Arden:

Are there plans to give us more of the characters in, say, novel/graphic novel form?

Duane Capizzi:

I know HMH has done a bunch and no doubt have more in works. There's currently a novelization of the Pilot with some additional material if anyone's interested. I consulted on the second one, Clue for Clue, because it falls in the timeline while Chase was still Interpol/pre-Acme so was tricky.

And depending on whether another series in this canon makes it to air, I may just approach them about writing one or two myself to get some "further adventures" our there. Anything is possible!

Arden:

If you could go back and change anything about the series, what would it be?

Duane Capizzi:

File under anecdote, but there was what I felt was an important expression on Gray that kept me awake at nights, from his graduation ceremony at Vile. When we revisited those flashbacks in the Gray arc in Season 4, I had them change his expression there (to be more evil less innocent). We had it corrected in 404 so was able to get permission to have Netflix "fix" the Pilot by adding that shot in. I am tenacious!

We really poured over everything, it's the series that I have virtually zero complaints with the end product to be honest. But the simple answer is: I would have gone back to 106 and "un-greek'd" Gray's nametag. It's sort of a rule for international that we scramble signage (which is weird for a show that takes place in many countries/languages, I know I know). It's mostly for localization/translation reasons. And I'm sure there are some countries where Gray's name might be spoken differently. But as a proper name, I think we could have made an exception and seen "Gray" on his name tag. See? Details! But that's about the worst of it

there's also like one small line from Chief in 208 where she indicates she knows Carmen is a good guy (something to that effect) which I felt was too absolute and would have tweaked the line to temper it a bit. It's tiny, but looking back it sort of bugs me and I kick myself for not catching it. But this is absolutely the series I wanted and couldn't be happier.

Carmen:

How did Carmen know she could trust Julia? As far as we know, she has not seen or heard Julia defending her, and in the Fashionista Caper, Julia even held up her gas gun to her, saying she was under arrest. Do you have any opinions on this? Was it just intuition?

Duane Capizzi:

I'm gonna go with intuition

Carmen was raised on an island with some hardened criminal types. I think she's a pretty good judge of character. Poor Julia, trying to be tough with Carmen didn't suit her.

But, great observation! I'd have to mentally step through everything to see if Carmen had any earlier indication but i think you're right there.

Yes, sometimes you just gotta follow your heart

Carmen:

Are there any characters that didn't actually interact that you think would get along well?

Duane Capizzi:

Amazing question! First, I'd have to think more about who DIDN'T meet - you're asking the hard questions haha. But "get along well" is very specific! Hmmm, care to volley anyone?

I'll also add that so many smaller moments get lost in the "binge" of it all, but I am surprised how few fans have noted the first meeting between Player and Julia. THAT was a good one IMO! Very sweet!

Before getting back to your question, I also want to add that we were originally going to find a way for Carmen to lose her earring in Stockholm so that Julia could pick it up and be communicating with Player. BUT, I cut it at treatment stage because I knew we didn't have room in that episode to service it. Circling back to questions 1 & 2, another case where it turned out better saved for later IMO (saving Player meeting Julia, not to mention the earring business in 402 with Ivy).

Oh of course, Julia and any of the other Vile members. It would have been Gunnar for my vote, as mentioned earlier. We probably would not have had Julia meet anyone else and mixed it up more. I like that Cleo sort of became J's personal nemesis.

YES, SONIA & XIFENG (and LUPE PELIGRO, if I can add). The intent was (and is, if we ever get to revisit) to see them again in Carmen's travels. We started to expand Carmen's world but when we finally learned the finite number of episodes we had to finish the story, we drilled back down into the essentials. Would love to see them some day!

I'm hesitant to share too many things I have in mind in this forum for hope that they will see the light of day one day. You know, "spoilers"

Julia:

Do you have any opinions on Zari? Just in general? Some thoughts on her backstory would be nice if possible

Duane Capizzi:

I love Zari! I really don't have any back story on her at this point. She was originally just "Agent B" but when the need arose to give story points to another agent, we chose her because she looked so awesome! And Sharon Muthu gave voice to her so wonderfully.

I love when we finally teamed her with Chase. Hopefully the anticipation was that she would give him a hard time. I love that we defied expectation (organically, of course) and had her respect him by the end of that episode (for believing that he foiled Carmen!)

Julia:

Do you have any thoughts on small facts about any character, major or minor, that you think are fun/interesting to think about, but don't necessarily add to the plot itself?

Duane Capizzi:

Bellum, like myself, likes cats. But you knew that!

I try to put everything pertinent on screen, doing double duty to service any given episode's story but also the overarching story. That "journey" thing I mentioned earlier - we had no idea Chase falling on his own car would be a thing when I first came up with it. But as other characters refer to the incident, it took on a life of its own and made the characters feel more real.

Sorta kinda related to this question and some earlier ones, I will say that I DO think there's more to learn about Shadowsan's past vis a vis Lady Dokuso: it's clear to me that they have a history together, and it's something I hope to explore someday soon (maybe in a book if not another series

Julia:

Are the Carmen Sandiego books a part of canon?

Duane Capizzi:

I only consulted on the first two or three (too busy with series!) and have not read them, so hard for me to answer in a definite way. They are definitely in the universe we've created, but not in the timeline that I know of (which would have been too hard to pull off with our script development running concurrently). But do know that the book team at HMH pays close attention to the series and world so they should be perfectly compatible. Look no further to their clever social media on the series for example.

Kenz:

We saw in season 4 that Julia and Carmen helped each other mid to long term; would there ever be a possibility that Julia would permanently or semi-permanently join team Red?

Duane Capizzi:

Of course there's a possibility. But in a sense, with ACME now finally on Carmen's side, in a sense if Carmen were back in the game Julia, Chase, Zack and Ivy would ALL be an extension of Carmen's crew. But, would J remain with ACME or literally come to Carmen's team at her HQ? As they said in an old radio show: "Only The Duane Capizzi knows ..."

Kenz:

Where do you see Carmen in her retirement (if she retires)? Do you think she would still travel the world or settle down somewhere? Similarly, do you have any thoughts on what some other characters could be doing years down the line?

Duane Capizzi:

That is a big question, and one difficult to answer without some potential future spoilers (and yes, I really want to tell more Carmen stories if you can't tell But I'll answer by giving you one "read" on our open-ended ending as seen in 408 (read no further if you haven't seen it - yeah, right haha). The ending suggests to me that Carmen settled down for a spell to forge that relationship with her mother, to make up for lost time. But, if that is indeed Carmen that we see on the rooftop, I think the ending suggests that Carmen doesn't stay still for very long. If Vile is back, there is work to be done! Carmen has a life mission - she's one determined lady.

But of course, it's deliberately ambiguous: "anyone with your heart, wisdom and courage can be Carmen Sandiego." Is it Carmen? Sonia? Someone we haven't met? I think both endings resonate: Caroline and I always said "Carmen is bigger than a person, Carmen is a movement" would be a great message to end the series on. And I think our ending resolves this chapter of Carmen's journey as a person, but also elevates her to mythic status. Which is why I love it!

And, that seems to me a pretty perfect question and answer to end our chat on. Thanks everyone! Again, I cannot tell you how moved I am to see that we have such a passionate, intelligent and talented fan base. THANK YOU.

Take care guys, thanks again for having me! 'night!

#Carmen Sandiego #CS Crew #Duane Capizzi #Interview #Transcript

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