#I’m currently level 36 because I had start over a few months ago

[f1ght-or-flight]

My problems are getting the better of me so I’m gonna stay up all night (it’s 4:39am for me rn so I’m already doing it), watch sanders sides or maybe Moriah Elizabeth and play Jurassic park, and finish off me tea because I don’t drink coffee before 6:00 am

#you can tell I do this a lot can’t you #I’m currently level 36 because I had start over a few months ago #sanders sides #moriah elizabeth #youtube #4:00 am

[noona-clock]

What’s Your Sign?: Aquarius

Genre: Future/Space!AU

Pairing: Yunhyeong x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Words: 6,180

Author’s Note: Since I’m so fascinated by astrology, I decided to do a Zodiac series! I will be writing a one-shot fic for each sign featuring different members from different groups (and even an actor!). Each story will be posted on the 5th of the month during that sign’s season. Please reblog, comment, or send in an ask with your feedback! Thank you for your support 💜

Yunhyeong’s eyes blinked open as the soft trilling of his alarm clock began to gently float through the air, and as he did every morning, he forced himself to sit up to decrease the chances he would fall back asleep.

As the alarm began to get slightly louder as the seconds passed by, Yunhyeong cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak the first words he spoke every morning: “Computer, turn off alarm.”

The trilling cut off and the eerie silence of outer space settled in his bedroom.

Honestly, he should be used to the absolute quietude of being in space, but... somehow, he wasn’t. It still put him on edge and made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“Computer, what’s the weather like on Earth?” he asked as he swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood up, sliding his feet into his slippers.

“Please specify a location,” the computer replied, and even though it was literally a computer, Yunhyeong was pretty sure he detected a hint of sass in its tone.

“All right... how about... Paris?”

“Please specify. There are fifty-three locations on Earth named ‘Paris.’”

Yunhyeong pursed his lips in slight annoyance before retorting, “What’s the weather like in Paris, France?”

“It is currently three degrees Celsius in Paris, France, with a 36% chance of precipitation, 68% humidity, and winds of 14 km/h.”

Well, it certainly didn’t spark any romantic images of the City of Love in his head, but it was interesting to know, at least.

I guess.

“Thank you, Computer,” Yunhyeong murmured as he turned around and bent to make his bed.

He didn’t start every morning asking the computer in his living quarters what the weather was like on a prominent Earth city, but maybe now he would. Maybe he would have to add that into his usual morning routine, right in-between getting out of bed and smoothing his sheets down over his mattress.

I mean, it had been a full two years since he’d lived on this space station, so it was probably time for a small change... right?

As long as the change didn’t get in the way of his research, of course. That’s the whole reason he was out here in the first place, alone on a privately-funded space station: to research and, hopefully, breed new species of plants.

Climate change was (and had been) really taking a toll on Earth, but technology in the last few decades had allowed most, if not all, humans to immigrate to various other planets and space stations in the Alpha quadrant. But living in space and on non-Earth planets meant having to figure out whole new ways to farm and live off the land -- even when there was no actual land.

So, Yunhyeong had been delegated by the government to conduct research and experiments on a fully-equipped space station to try and grow new edible plants.

It sounded boring, yes, but it really wasn’t! I mean -- not for him, at least, because Yunhyeong loved to cook. More than anything, really, he loved cooking.

He just felt at home in the kitchen, and nothing excited him more than experimenting with ingredients and coming up with new recipes. Even if the dish turned out to be basically inedible, he never felt defeated or like he should just give up. On the contrary, cooking energized him! And it felt that much better when he got a recipe right.

Honestly, that’s the only reason Yunhyeong had accepted this position even though it had meant living by himself for... who knows how long? 

He was an outgoing extrovert, but being constantly alone was overshadowed by the fact he was constantly cooking and growing his own ingredients -- and being paid for it!

...Still, though. Sometimes he did have to admit that it would be nice to have some company. Someone with different taste buds who could try his recipes and give real feedback.

When he’d asked his manager why it had to be a solo mission, the reasoning had made sense: adding another person into the mix increased the probability for conflict, and it was pretty vital that Yunhyeong stay focused on his end goal.

Totally understandable.

But that didn’t stop him from daydreaming at night just before he fell asleep.

We... won’t get into that, though. The day had just started, after all!

After making his bed (and, today, hearing about the weather in Paris, France), Yunhyeong ducked into his closet to change into one of his government-issued suits. All of his clothes were basically the same, and while it had bothered him a bit after first moving here, he’d gotten over it pretty quickly. No one else was here to see him, so what did it really matter what he wore? The clothes he’d been given were perfectly fine, and he would have plenty of time to dress a bit more flashily once he returned home.

As he always did, Yunhyeong quickly but thoroughly brushed his teeth after getting dressed, ran a comb through his hair, then set off toward his hydroponics lab.

Once he began his work -- taking cuttings of new plants that were growing, jotting down observations of changes which had happened overnight, experimenting with the sand from a nearby planet and seeing how its cellular structure changed when different liquids were added to it -- he realized that today would be just a typical day. Another day as same as the ones before it.

It had actually been quite silly of him to think that something so trivial as asking about the weather conditions on Earth would somehow have an effect on his day.

Except... it kind of had. Nothing major, of course. He still got his work done as he always did, and he was still incredibly focused. But he also found his mind had been slipping, daydreaming about Paris, France -- especially centuries ago when films were in black and white and men walked around in suits with hats every day. 

Paris back then seemed so romantic, didn’t it? He imagined the whole city had a sort of candlelit glow about it even though there had definitely been electricity at that time. But candlelight made it dreamier and, even though he was a botanist by trade, Yunhyeong was a total sucker for anything dreamy.

(Did this have something to do with the fact that an old girlfriend had once told him he had very dreamy eyes? Perhaps.)

By the time his mid-day meal break rolled around, he’d gotten plenty of work done and made plenty of progress with his modified Thyme plant; he also found that the almost-ancient song “La Vie en Rose” had become stuck in his head.

Since he didn’t have to work for the next hour or so, Yunhyeong asked the computer to play the song through the station’s intercom system.

A warm but immediate thrill emanated through him as he heard the opening notes, and he told himself he would have to play music more often -- any music. He hadn’t realized until just now how lifeless this space station truly was. 

He lived here, but was he really living?

It’s not like he expected this situation to turn into some sort of romantic film where a beautiful stranger happened to be passing by and fell in love with him at first sight. He was level-headed enough to realize that would never happen! 

But he could still have fun, couldn’t he? Off the clock, of course. His job was too important and time-sensitive to risk losing focus because he wanted to have more fun.

No, he could absolutely wait until he’d finished work for the day before turning on some music and letting loose.

Oh, boy, he could just imagine it now: some good music flowing through the intercom -- maybe some Jazz music. A nice glass of wine. And his mother had sent him a very nice pair of silk pajamas recently that he hadn’t yet worn --

...Wow.

He was, apparently, at the age where jazz music, wine, and silk pajamas was considered “fun.”

Wonderful.

But, to be fair! He was in outer space! On a space station! By himself! Growing plants for a living! What other kind of fun could there be?!

It’s not like he could just go out to a restaurant or a club with some friends and --

A sudden and very loud banging interrupted his thoughts, and Yunhyeong was so startled that he almost dropped his glass of water.

His brow furrowed immediately as he took a few steps out of his kitchen, craning his neck past the doorway to look toward the entrance to the station.

The station didn’t really have a “front door,” per se, but for all intents and purposes, someone had just knocked on his front door.

More than knocked, actually. They sounded like they wanted to smash the door right off its hinges!

“Who in the world could that be?” Yunhyeong muttered to himself as he cautiously crept toward the entrance. He hadn’t received word that a supervisor was coming for an evaluation or anything, and he couldn’t imagine someone would come all the way out here for an unannounced visit.

Just as he reached the keypad to unlock the inner door, his mysterious visitor knocked loudly again, though they sounded more desperate this time.

Yunhyeong quickly typed in the code, and after hearing the hiss of the door unlocking, he turned the handle and opened it.

You rushed in as soon as the gap was wide enough, barreling past Yunhyeong and nearly knocking him over.

“Whoa!” he cried, startled and very, very confused. “Who --”

“I’m sorry, I don’t have time to explain,” you answered after you’d just barely come to a halt a few feet away from him. “But the police are probably going to be here soon, and I need you to tell them you don’t know anything, okay? You’ve never seen me before. Where can I hide?”

Yunhyeong stared at you, blinking slowly in astonishment.

...What?

“I -- I’m sorry?” he stammered.

“Where can I hide?” you repeated, your voice hurried but quiet. “Please, I must hide. I’m fairly certain they’ll be here any minute now.”

“...Who?”

“The police! I just --” you hissed, though you stopped yourself short and took a deep breath. “I can explain everything later, I just need somewhere to hide.”

Yunhyeong stared at you some more, and now that you weren’t blabbering on about hiding from the police (seriously?! Hiding from the police?!) he was able to take a few moments and gather up the situation in his head.

You -- a complete and total stranger, of that he was sure -- had just showed up at his space station asking to hide from the police.

...This couldn’t be real. Right?

And what made it even more unbelievable was the fact that you were actually quite beautiful.

If he had to be totally honest, your attractiveness was one of the very first things he’d noticed.

He was an adult male who’d been living entirely alone for an extended period of time, okay?! Can you blame him for noticing that someone was incredibly pleasing to look at?!

But then his thoughts of your looks were interrupted by his thoughts of what you’d said.

You needed somewhere to hide, and even though he absolutely should not let you hide in a government-issued space station... his romantic sensibilities took over.

I mean, hadn’t he just been thinking a very short while ago about a beautiful stranger somehow appearing on the station?! And how he’d never considered that it would actually happen because things like that don’t ever happen in real life?

But it was happening now! A beautiful stranger had somehow appeared on the station!  You were most likely a criminal, and there was a very good chance he would lose his job if anyone ever found out he’d helped you...

But, I mean, come on. You can’t blame him for thinking this was just a tad exciting!

So... yes, he was going to help you! And if you ended up staying here and falling in love with him, then so be it!

“My lab,” he said, nodding toward the door behind you.

You let out a soft breath and murmured a thank you before turning on your heel and darting into the room.

He followed you, pointing out the small storage room where he kept his extra equipment and watching carefully as you rushed over to it.

As soon as the door slid closed behind you, there was yet another knock at the station’s entrance.

Yunhyeong’s eyes widened slightly for two reasons: 1) He hadn’t had any visitors in a very long time, and now, all of a sudden, he was about to have two? 2) You had been eerily correct about the police showing up any minute -- if this was, in fact, the police. 

He wasn’t sure who else it would be, so he made a hasty retreat out of his lab and back toward the entrance.

Again, he quickly typed in the code to open the door, and he had just barely touched the handle before the new visitor -- or visitors -- let themselves in.

“Excuse us, Sir,” said a middle-aged but very fit man in an Intergalactic Police uniform. “I’m very sorry to disturb you, but we’re looking for a wanted criminal and thought we’d tracked her down to this area.”

Yunhyeong gulped, nervous that he wasn’t a good enough liar to help keep your cover. But he would do his best!

“A -- a wanted criminal?” he asked as he knit his eyebrows together in worried confusion. “What -- no, I haven’t seen anyone. It’s just me here. I haven’t had any visitors for... well, quite some time. Or ever, really. I’m doing government research, you see, so I don’t really have time for anything except my work.”

The policeman nodded slowly, and the younger woman in uniform behind him let out a short huff of breath, obviously frustrated their lead hadn’t taken them any closer to catching you.

“Understood,” the woman murmured before adding. “So sorry to bother you, Sir. If you catch word of anything, please contact us as soon as you possibly can. We believe she should be considered armed and dangerous.”

...Excuse me?

Yunhyeong’s mouth fell open slightly, and his brain was starting to yell at him to tell these police officers the truth. He hadn’t seen any weapons on you when you’d come in, and you had certainly seemed more panicked than dangerous... but they were saying quite the opposite!

Except... he hadn’t seen any weapons on you when you’d come in. 

If he remembered correctly, which he had to assume he did since you had just come in a few minutes ago, you weren’t wearing large or baggy clothing, so there really wasn’t any place to hide a weapon -- unless it was a very small weapon. In that case, Yunhyeong felt almost confident that he could manage to take it from you somehow.

Plus, your beauty was definitely clouding his judgement, and he wanted to get the chance to actually talk to you before letting you go and never seeing you again.

So, instead of coming clean and being a useful, helpful citizen, Yunhyeong simply nodded. “Yes, of course,” he assured the officers. “I will keep an eye out.”

The officers turned to leave, but the man stopped before he could turn around all the way.

“Actually, would you mind if we just did a quick search?” he asked in a very polite tone. “Just protocol, of course. Plus, she might have beamed in without you knowing, and we wouldn’t want to leave without knowing for sure you’re not in any danger.”

Yunhyeong raised his eyebrows but then took a step to the side and extended his arm out into the station to allow them inside. “Please, be my guest.”

The female officer headed back toward the kitchen where he’d been putting together his lunch not even ten minutes ago while the male officer basically made a beeline for his lab.

“Ah, that --” Yunhyeong said, following him and peering into his lab over the man’s shoulder. “That’s my lab.”

“What did you say you do again?” the officer asked curiously.

“I’m doing research,” Yunhyeong answered. “Plant research. For the government.”

The officer let out a low hum of understanding and continued to stand there, presumably eyeing his equipment and searching the room for any signs of an intruder.

But the longer he stood there, the more quickly Yunhyeong’s heart began to beat.

Finally, the officer took a step back and turned on his heel to search other areas of the station.

Yunhyeong let out a soft breath as soon as the officer was out of sight then went back to the station entrance to wait for them to finish.

After only about five minutes, both officers met him at the door, thanked him for his cooperation, and wished him a nice day before stepping into the small chamber separating the inside of his station from the void of outer space and beaming themselves out.

Yunhyeong closed the inner door, turning the handle to lock it and letting out an anxious breath. But he didn’t have time to lean back against the door and gather his thoughts because there was currently a wanted criminal hiding in his lab.

He practically ran to the doorway of his lab, grasping the doorframe and calling out, “They’re gone, you can come out.”

A few seconds later, the door to his equipment storage room opened, and you peeked your head out.

“They searched the station and just left,” Yunhyeong explained, his heart fluttering inside his chest upon seeing you again.

You let out a breath and stepped fully into the lab, closing the door quietly behind you. “Thank you,” you murmured as you began to make your way over to him.

“Sure...” he replied expectantly, waiting for you to start explaining the situation.

When you stopped a few feet in front of him, a cautious and bashful smile tugged at your lips. “So...” you started, your voice a bit shaky. “I, uh -- It’s really not as bad as you might be thinking.”

Yunhyeong couldn’t stop from smirking -- just a tiny one. “Well, the police said you’re a wanted criminal who should be considered armed and dangerous, so what I’m thinking is pretty bad.”

Your eyes widened and you held your hands out in front of you, waving them a little to assure Yunhyeong he had it all wrong. “No, no -- I’m not armed, I swear! And definitely not dangerous. Just -- This is going to sound like I’m making it up, but I promise you, I’m not.”

Well, now Yunhyeong was really intrigued. “Go on,” he pressed.

“I... Well, for the last couple of years, I’ve been working on a... project.”

“That doesn’t sound shady at all,” Yunhyeong chuckled.

“I was trying to create a clone,” you explained hurriedly. “Nothing shady, exactly. It’s kind of a long story, but I got a research grant and decided to try cloning but it didn’t turn out like I expected because my clone kind of went rogue and she is the armed and dangerous one. Not me. But the police don’t know it’s a clone, obviously, so they’re looking for me when it’s really all just a big mistake!”

Your story did sound a bit far-fetched, and Yunhyeong shouldn’t have believed it.

But... for some reason... he did. There was just a look in your eyes that told him you were being truthful. A timbre in your voice that emanated sincerity.

So, he believed you. Despite logic telling him he shouldn’t, he did.

One corner of his lips lifted into a half-smile then, and he said, “Well, you’re welcome to stay here for a bit. Are you hungry?”

A look of pure relief washed over your exquisite features, and you held out your hand toward him. “I’m Y/N, by the way. That’s my real name, you can look me up.”

Yunhyeong let out a soft laugh as he shook your hand. “Don’t worry, I believe you. And you’re safe here. I’m Yunhyeong.”

“Thank you, Yunhyeong,” you replied, your hand gripping his firmly. 

But then, suddenly, your grip loosened, and you wavered a bit where you stood.

“Oop!” Yunhyeong uttered as he reached out to steady you. “You all right?”

You grasped onto his forearms, and when you tilted your head to look up at him, he saw your complexion had blanched quite a bit.

“Yes, I --” you murmured. “Sorry, I guess I haven’t eaten in a while, and the adrenaline’s worn off, I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, come eat,” he said as he moved to slide one arm around your back and then began leading you toward the kitchen.

You continued to apologize as he helped you down the hallway, and once he’d pulled out a chair at the small table, he assured you there was absolutely nothing to be sorry about.

To be honest, this whole situation was quite thrilling for him. A mistakenly wanted criminal who had almost fainted from hunger? He had never cooked a meal for a mistakenly wanted criminal who had almost fainted from hunger before, but he now felt like this was what he’d been meant to do. Born to do.

I mean, he’d always loved helping and taking care of people, and he certainly loved cooking.

(Plus, you were just so gosh darn beautiful. It was his absolute pleasure to have you in his home and serve you a home-cooked meal!)

He whipped you up the quickest but heartiest thing in his repertoire: a ham sandwich. But his ham sandwich was not just any old ham sandwich. Of course, not! He used only the best mayonnaise, only the best lettuce and tomatoes grown right here on the station, only the best bread he’d baked himself last night, and only the best ham... which was not really the best ham because, living in space, he had to use his food replicator. And he hadn’t yet found one single food that was quite as good when using the replicator. It was fine, but it just didn’t taste exactly the same.

Oh, well. He hoped the rest of the fine ingredients would make up for the slightly less than average ham.

“It’s not much,” he said when he set the plate in front of you just a few minutes later. “But it’ll do the trick.”

“Oh, no, are you kidding? This is wonderful,” you said breathlessly, your eyes widening slightly as you gazed at the sandwich. “You wouldn’t believe what I’ve been eating the past couple days. This seems like a feast compared to that.”

Yunhyeong couldn’t help himself; after hearing that remark, he pulled out the other chair at his table and slid into it, his brow furrowed with curiosity. He set his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his palm before asking, “What happened?”

You took a huge bite of sandwich first, closing your eyes with pleasure as you chewed. And then you began your story.

You told him all about how your clone had gone rogue for reasons you still hadn’t figured out. She had replicated weapons and gone on a crime spree, robbing and killing anyone she could get her hands on. You actually got choked up as you told him, and Yunhyeong had to resist the urge to reach out and put his hand over yours.

Of course, you had tried your best to stop her, but that had only made it easier for the police to confuse you for her and make you their target.

Once you’d realized the police were on the hunt for you and not your clone, you’d gone into fight or flight mode -- and you had chosen flight. You’d hidden anywhere you could find, only staying in one place for a few hours.

“How did you end up here?” Yunhyeong asked, taking your empty plate and standing up to make you another sandwich. You’d eaten this one so quickly, and if you really hadn’t eaten much real food over the last few days, there was no doubt you had to be famished.

“Honestly... pure happenstance. I just found a small space station on the map, punched the coordinates into my transporter, and beamed right in.”

A smirk tugged at Yunhyeong’s lips but he turned to start making your sandwich before you had the chance to see.

Pure happenstance. Luck. You hadn’t come here by design; you’d just picked his station and beamed yourself in unknowingly.

“Y’know...” he began as he took two more slices of bread. “It’s funny because I’ve been on this space station by myself for quite a while now, and just this morning I was thinking about some beautiful, random stranger just happening to pass through. But, obviously, I was thinking about how it wouldn’t happen.”

“That,” you said before clearing your throat. “That’s a strange coincidence.”

When Yunhyeong glanced over his shoulder, he saw your expression had turned shy, and it made him feel a little shy. Which was odd because he was rarely ever shy.

“Very,” he murmured in agreement after turning back around and continuing to make your second sandwich.

It was comfortably silent for the next minute or two, the only noises that of Yunhyeong spreading mayonnaise on bread and tearing up the lettuce to fit better on the sandwich. But then, when he turned back around to join you at the table and set the plate in front of you again, you murmured a soft but earnest “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” Yunhyeong replied before once again sliding into the chair across from you. “And... you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like.”

You had just picked up the sandwich to take a bite, but upon hearing his words, you paused. Your brow knit together, forming deep wrinkles in your forehead. “Oh, no, I --”

“I think you’d be safer here than anywhere else,” Yunhyeong interrupted gently. “The police have already been here, and there’s no logical reason they would come back here to look for you. At least, not for a while. And maybe we could get this all squared away in the meantime. Find your clone and clear your name.”

You stared at him in slight confusion for a few moments before shaking your head a little and asking, “But... why? Why would you... help me?”

Yunhyeong let out a soft chuckle and lifted his shoulders into a shrug. “I guess... it’s been a long time since I’ve even talked to another person face-to-face. And you’re innocent. I can’t just let you go and risk you getting caught and arrested when you’re only guilty of an experiment gone wrong.”

For a split second, he thought about adding on the fact that you were incredibly nice to look at, and he was becoming overwhelmed with an urge to take care of you. But when he remembered the shy look you’d gotten after he’d just said the word beautiful, he decided against it.

For now, at least.

You slowly put the sandwich back down on the plate, and before Yunhyeong could try to distinguish the expression on your face, you burst into tears.

“Whoa,” Yunhyeong murmured, his head jerking back in surprise. “No, please --”

“I’m sorry,” you sniffed, bringing your hands up to cover your eyes and cheeks. “I just -- It’s been difficult the past few days, and I thought --”

Without hesitation, Yunhyeong got out of his chair and crouched down next to you, resting one hand gently on your back and the other on one of your wrists.

“It’s all right,” he assured you in the gentlest voice he could manage.

“I can’t even remember how many times I thought I was going to die,” you admitted, your voice muffled and interrupted by sniffling sobs. “And you have absolutely no reason to help me, but you are, and I’m so relieved, and I just --”

Yunhyeong shushed you, rubbing your back and watching with concern as you began to wipe your cheeks.

You then turned your head and looked over at him, tears still brimming in your eyes.

“Thank you,” you choked out.

Yunhyeong’s lips curved into a smile, and he moved his hand to your shoulder, squeezing you there. “You’re welcome. You’re going to get through this, okay? I can help. I work for the government, so I bet I can get in touch with someone who can straighten this all out.”

You shook your head a bit and gulped down the large lump of emotion obstructing your throat. “But I -- I can’t do anything to repay you --”

“I told you that I’ve been living here on my own for a long time, right?”

You nodded.

“Honestly, having some company is repayment enough. Just... be my friend,” he said with a tiny shrug. “For as long as you’re here, that’s all I ask in return. Be my friend.”

Yunhyeong’s heart burst when he saw the corners of your lips lifting into a small smile, and it began to glow in his chest when you nodded again.

“If you’re going to keep feeding me delicious food, I can definitely be your friend,” you assured him.

“Hey, if it’s delicious food you want, you’ve come to absolutely the right place,” he grinned before squeezing your shoulder one more time and then standing up to let you eat your sandwich in peace. “Listen, I’ve got to get back to work soon, but feel free to look around and make yourself at home. There’s not much, really, but there’s a shower and some extra clothes.”

“Okay,” you said quietly, nodding and wiping away the last of your tears.

As you turned back to the table and began to eat your sandwich, Yunhyeong quickly made one for himself to take back to the lab. Since he’d been interrupted by... this whole situation, he hadn’t been able to actually have anything to eat during his lunch break. But as long as he turned away from the plants and equipment to eat, it should be fine.

“I’ll just be in the lab,” he said after completing his sandwich and heading out toward the hallway. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” you answered just before he stepped through the kitchen doorway. And then you called out, “Thank you again! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this!”

Yunhyeong simply smiled to himself.

Hopefully, he would be able to get back into his work mindset -- at least for a few hours or so. He needed to try his best to get as much work done as possible because he had a sneaking suspicion you were going to become more and more of a distraction the longer you stayed here.

Even though he had been given no parameters as far as work hours when he’d started this position, Yunhyeong had set a schedule for himself to try and keep some semblance of a normal life. He, like most people, needed time to unwind after working all day, but if he had no specific clock out time, it was very possible he would work well into the night.

So, from his very first day on the station, he’d set an alarm for six in the evening so he could force himself to stop working and enjoy his evenings.

And, unsurprisingly, his evenings after work always started off with cooking.

But, unsurprisingly again, this evening was a little different than most.

Or... all. It was different than all of the evenings he’d had on the station thus far. Every single one.

Over the past several hours, he’d only heard your presence on the station a few times. He must’ve been too focused on work to notice much else -- either that or you’d just been incredibly quiet. But, apparently, you’d been up to a lot because when he locked up the lab for the night, he caught sight of you standing by the window in the living room across the hall. Your hair was wet and you were wearing a pair of his pajamas, something that unexpectedly tugged at his heart.

“Hey,” he greeted as he stepped into the room. “I’m all done with --”

He trailed off when you turned around to look at him. Your face had been scrubbed clean, and even though you really didn’t look much different -- if at all -- the sight of you standing there, fresh-faced with damp hair and wearing his pajamas... it made his heart jump up into his throat and his breath catch, for some reason.

Truly, it had been far too long since he’d had any social interaction.

You must have thought he was staring at you for reasons other than that, though, because you bashfully looked down at the pajamas and said, “I wasn’t sure if it was okay -- I can just wear my own clothes if you --”

“No, no,” he interrupted hastily, taking a step closer to you. “No, it’s fine. Sorry. Wear whatever you want, really.”

Your lips curved into a soft grin, and you gestured behind your shoulder with one hand. “I was just admiring the view,” you told him before turning back around to gaze out the window.

Yunhyeong joined you, taking several large steps to come and stand next to you.

He glanced very briefly out at the scenery before him, finding his eyes were of a mind to settle on you instead.

Either he had forgotten just how beautiful you were or the relief of being safe had melted your anxiety and heightened your attractiveness because... wow. The slope of your nose and the curve of your lips were stunning and enticing. Your eyelashes, your cheeks, the way your hair framed your face.

“It’s so beautiful,” you said, your gaze fixed on the stars and planets visible from the window.

Yunhyeong almost laughed because you had voiced aloud his thoughts almost exactly.

“Yes,” he agreed with his eyes still locked on you rather than the outside view. “Yes, it is.”

You continued observing the scenery for a few more moments -- long enough for Yunhyeong to get his wits about him, thankfully, and when you turned to look at him, he was fairly certain it wasn’t obvious he’d been staring at you.

“So,” you stated. “What can I do to help?”

“Well, you’re in luck,” he answered with a grin. “I mean, unless your idea of fun isn’t quite the same as mine... But I was planning on making pasta for dinner and then breaking open some wine, putting on some music -- Jazz, if you’re into it -- and just... relaxing.”

And, now, if you were there, he could actually have a chat. A good, old-fashioned chat.

But... if you liked to create clones in your spare time, then you most likely weren’t the type of person to label that type of evening as ‘fun.’

“That sounds... amazing,” you replied, somewhat breathless.

Oh!

Well!

Color him surprised!

“Yeah?” he asked, trying to tamp down his excitement. “I’ve come up with a pretty great recipe for spaghetti sauce. I can teach you how to make it?”

Your lips curved into a smile, and you nodded quickly. “Yes, please. I would love that.”

As Yunhyeong led you to the kitchen, he found himself already daydreaming about... well, so many things.

Cooking with you. Drinking wine with you. Listening to music with you. Chatting with you. Getting to know you better. Allowing himself to open up to you so you could get to know him better.

Then, of course, daydreams about all that led to daydreams about later on down the road. Cooking with you and sneaking kisses in here and there. Drinking wine and listening to music and snuggling on the couch with you. Chatting with you those really deep chats that only surface when you’re fully and entirely comfortable with someone.

He still hardly knew you, of course, but at this moment... he could imagine himself falling in love with you. And even if that never happened -- or even came close to happening -- just the idea of it was enough.

He wanted it to happen, of course, and he was definitely going to try as long as you were willing.

But, if today had taught him anything, it was to never assume. Never assume things can’t or won’t happen. Never assume that, just because every day previously had been the same, today wouldn’t be different. Anything could happen!

And he knew this had absolutely no bearing on the events of today, but... Yunhyeong planned on asking the computer what the weather was like on Earth more often.

Just for fun.

OTHER SIGNS: ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, CANCER, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, SAGITTARIUS, CAPRICORN, PISCES

#yunhyeong scenarios #yunhyeong imagines #yunhyeong au #yunhyeong fluff #yunhyeong fanfic #ikon scenarios #ikon imagines #ikon au #ikon fluff #ikon fanfic #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop fanfic #ikon #yunhyeong #song yunhyeong

[kerikaaria]

If I Never Met You: Chapter 36

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Angst and fluff

WC: 3.4k

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Chapter 35 | Chapter 36 | Chapter 37

MANAGER OF K-POP GROUP RESCUES IDOL, SEVERELY INJURRED ON MV SET

K-pop group BTS is currently celebrating their first ever music show win tonight with their captivating performance of ‘I Need U.’ But while the idols are basking in the joy of their first win, one of their managers who has been with them since the beginning is not in quite so good of shape.

An anonymous source has provided us with an exclusive behind the scenes look at some of the chaos which occurred during the shooting for the music video for the track ‘I Need U.’ We have photo proof of the incident, captured from a video which our anonymous source provided for us.

In the music video, each member has their own stories to portray. One such story is portrayed by the member V, whose character appears to live in an abusive household. The video shows him having a scuffle with who we assume to be the character’s father. This is where things didn’t go exactly according to plan during filming, according to the source.

“The scene was originally supposed to have some back and forth between V and the actor,” our source explained. “In the music video, you can see that next to where the fight happens there is a piece of furniture, like a shelving unit. During the first filming attempts when the actor pushed V away from him, he had accidentally pushed him into the furniture a few times.

[Picture of the set described above]

“I honestly have no idea how she even saw it. It happened so quickly that no one else could react, but she reacted so fast. The last time V had bumped into the furniture, it had rocked it enough that it started to tip over. Before anyone even knew what was happening, the manager had pulled V out of the way, but the furniture ended up falling on her instead.”

[Picture of the scene, furniture mid-fall]

“It was so shocking and happened so suddenly. After I was able to process what had happened, I couldn’t help but feel amazed that she was able to act so quickly.”

The manager in question is L/n Y/n, who has been working with the group since 2012. She was taken to the hospital, where she was treated for two broken legs. She left the facility a few days later in a wheelchair and we assume she will be unable to work until she can walk on her own again.

To long-time fans of BTS, her name may sound familiar. Not too long after the group debuted in 2013, pictures of her with the idols had been leaked online.

[Picture of Y/n with Seokjin and Namjoon in 2013]

Fans’ immediate reactions to the pictures were very critical, wondering who this mystery woman was and why she seemed so close to the group. It didn’t take long for their company, BigHit Entertainment, to post an official statement saying another employee of the company had gotten into her phone and released the pictures. That employee was promptly fired, and after a post on the group’s twitter introducing her, fans relented on their criticisms.

[Namjoon’s tweet from that day]

“It is really obvious, seeing her interactions with the group that they are rather close,” our anonymous source confirmed. “They seem to be as close as family.”

Not much is known about where she is right now, but we expect she’s probably resting at home, recovering from the injury. Depending on how bad the injury was, she could take anywhere from two to six months to recover…

Bang PD was sitting in your living room, making you feel incredibly anxious. He didn’t want you to come down to the company since there was not really any discreet way for you to enter the building. After the article from yesterday, there were reporters waiting outside, hoping to run into someone they could squeeze information out of.

You really appreciated his thoughtfulness, but at the same time him being in your house was somewhat intimidating.

“I swear, I didn’t have anything to do with that article, PD-nim,” you said.

“Don’t worry, Y/n,” he responded. “I know it wasn’t you. You couldn’t have had access to the video footage they were supplied with. You’re not in trouble. I’m merely here to discuss with you how we are going to proceed from here.”

You nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“So far, there’s a very positive reaction to the article,” Bang said. “Fans are praising you for being so quick and attentive, and for keeping Taehyung from getting hurt. I really don’t see this article causing us any trouble so I don’t think we’ll need to do damage control.”

You felt a lot of the nervous tension you had building up leave you at that. You had seen a lot of comments left on the article yourself and it did appear to be positive, but you were scared to check Twitter or anywhere else so you weren’t sure if the response was similar elsewhere.

“As for what we are going to do, we have a few options,” PD-nim continued. “Now, you are not one of our celebrities. You didn’t sign up to be in the spotlight at all. So I can’t force you to do this, but I think it would be good if you would be willing to provide some kind of statement for the fans. We could do it internally, just have some basic questions written up which you can respond to and then we could then publish in an official statement from us, or send it to different news outlets to write articles about. What do you think, Y/n?”

You took a moment to think about it, but felt really unsure of yourself. “What would you want me to say?” you asked.

“Basically just whatever you want about the incident, as long as PR and I approve it. We’d come up with a list of questions to guide it, and see if there’s anything the fans are curious about that you could answer as well.”

That didn’t sound too bad, to be honest. Especially if it would just be done internally, rather than having to speak to some random reporter or interviewer. “I think I could do that,” you decided. “So you’re doing this to help promote the album even more I’m assuming? Since it’s something getting good PR.”

Bang spluttered for a moment before clearing his throat. “Well, when you put it bluntly like that…”

You laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it as something bad. I just clarified more so that I just understood why you were hoping for me to do this. And if you need me to talk about the album or anything like that.”

“Oh, that you don’t need to do. It’ll be a little too straightforward that way. Just mentioning the music video, which will be easy to do when you’re talking about the fact that it happened on the set, and saying the name of the track is good enough. Only what you’d need to in order to tell the story. Any more than that and it’ll be a bit too much.”

You nodded in understanding. “Okay. Can I just write my answers to the questions though? I think that will be easier for me than talking to someone.”

“No problem. I’ll have PR come up with questions to cover all of our bases, and then if there would be anything else you want to add outside of those answers, feel free. I’ll try to get those sent to you either today or tomorrow, and if you could answer and send them back as quickly as you can, but without rushing it?”

“Sounds like a plan,” you smiled.

It was a lot easier than you expected to talk about the accident, and once your statement was finalized and sent out to the various news outlets, the articles were written surprisingly fast.

It had even gone viral to an extent. Even though BTS was still working their way up, stories like this in the K-pop world weren’t very common. The one thing that you weren’t prepared for was how supportive Army suddenly was of you.

You weren’t unknown to them—of course you were frequently seen with the boys, plus the pictures of you that had been leaked two years ago still circulated every now and then. And there were those who would say nice things about you here and there. But this was a whole new level you had never seen before, at least not for yourself.

They were sending so much support to BTS' Twitter, saying how thankful they were that the boys had you with them and praising you for protecting Taehyung. You felt that some things that they said were a little over the top, though. Some of them were idolizing you, making it sound like you were some kind of hero and that other managers needed to strive to be you. Those things were maybe just a little too much.

No, they were definitely way too much. And it was a surprise to you that the positive reactions weren’t really helping you feel better at all. In fact, they only did when you were actively reading comments. Otherwise, the realization of being further in the spotlight than ever weighed on you so much more than you could have ever expected.

And of course, the promotions for BTS’ album continued to go well, their fanbase seeming to increase faster than ever before. Needless to say, with the increase of promotional activities the boys were busier than ever.

It felt silly that being separate from them so often lately bothered you as much as it did. It was selfish, really, wanting to always be around them. You knew that was unrealistic, not even because of your current situation, but because they had their own lives. You couldn’t expect them to always spend time with you, and probably sooner rather than later they would find friends who they’d rather spend their free time with.

Which wouldn’t be a bad thing, not at all. It was natural. Being stuck here while they were off working and too busy to see you most days now made you realize that you’d gotten unhealthily attached to BTS. You should really have been thinking of a way to fix that, but all it did right now was make you feel worse.

They were currently in Malaysia, and even for a few days before that only one of them was barely able to trudge into your apartment at night to help you into bed. You wished you could just spend all day in bed and not get up, but the nurse would never allow you to. You remembered one morning when you told her you just wanted to stay in bed, but she gave you a mini lecture on why that was really unhealthy and that she highly encouraged you to get into your chair.

You spent too long just staring at your phone screen, which was currently showing the group chat. You had gotten a few texts from one or two of them when they first arrived in Malaysia, a few pretty pictures and a “Wish you were here with us.” But they’d been too busy since to text.

So many times you hovered your fingers over the keyboard, itching to talk to them. But you couldn’t. You knew they were busy. And when they weren’t busy, they were tired and needed to rest. And these were things that you constantly reminded yourself of, things that you repeatedly told yourself to get these stupid incessant thoughts in your head to just shut up.

But logic didn’t work with anxiety. It didn’t matter that you knew that. This thing in your head would still whisper in your ear.

‘But they could find time to text you if they wanted. It only takes a moment to send it. If they really wanted to talk to you, they’d be trying. But they’re not. They don’t care about you as much as they say they do.’

Anxiety was pure evil.

And unfortunately for you right now, you were falling deep into its grimy clutches. Trying to think about Army’s support just made you feel so much pressure and added weight onto your shoulders you didn’t need. Thinking about the boys made your anxiety’s claws dig in even further into your skin.  But maybe, if you just focused on just him that would be okay, right? It had helped you many times before.

As you felt your breath starting to become shallower, you closed your eyes and tried to fill your mind with just thoughts of him. But images of memories that usually warmed your heart were soon overpowered by that voice in your head.

‘You know he doesn’t feel the same. You’re just plain old Y/n. His manager, his friend. He’s an artist, a celebrity. He has both girls and boys falling at his feet every day. Why would he ever want you?’

You shook your head as the tears started to fall from your eyes. You couldn’t even begin to try to reason with it on this one. It was right. You should have figured out a way to put a stop to the way you were feeling when you first realized it. But instead you let it grow and fester and now you were in way too deep to just push it aside. You were such an idiot.

With nothing to stop it, you let the dam break. All the emotions you’d been trying so hard to keep under control just flowed out through your tears. At least when you stopped fighting it, the anxiety seemed to shut up and let you just feel everything in peace.

Your mind gone blank, you lost track of time while you sat there, glad you were at home and alone so no one could see you looking like an emotional wreck. As your tears were slowing down, your phone began to ring.

It was the ringtone you had set for him.

And he was requesting a video call. You cleared your throat and warmed your voice up for a moment, hoping it was enough to hide the fact that you had just been crying for who knows how long and answered with voice only.

Yoongi and Taehyung must have been sharing a room since both of them were on the screen, sitting on a hotel bed.

“Noona!” Tae greeted excitedly, but his expression quickly mellowed almost into a frown. “Why do you have your video off?”

“Ah, sorry,” you replied, clearing your throat again when your voice came out a little too nasally, and to buy you a moment to think up a lie. “I haven’t gotten to shower today so I look gross.”

“We’ve seen it before,” Yoongi said. “Nothing new there.”

“But, you can’t look gross, noona,” Tae said, throwing his hyung a look. “We don’t care, we just want to see you! We miss you.”

“Sorry,” you repeated, sniffling a little. “Maybe next time.”

Yoongi’s brows furrowed, and he exchanged a glance with Taehyung who was beginning to look concerned as well.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asked. “You sound…”

“Like you’ve been crying,” Taehyung finished.

Darn, you were hoping they wouldn’t have noticed. “I’m fine,” you tried, smiling in hopes that would make your tone sound lighter. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Would you turn on your camera then?” Yoongi asked. “So we can see that you’re fine?”

Curse Yoongi and his deceivingly high EQ. You sighed, not able to come up with a response quickly enough to cover yourself. When they didn’t say anything more and just continued to look concerned, you caved in and turned on the camera.

“I actually do probably look really gross right now, sorry,” you said.

“Oh my-. Noona, what happened?” Taehyung asked.

“Fans weren’t being jerks again were they?” Yoongi checked. “Last I saw, they were saying nice thing about you.”

“No, it’s not that,” you said. “I just… my anxiety has been getting to me a lot lately and I guess it just got to be too much today.”

The two on the phone exchanged another look. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Taehyung gently asked. “You were doing well, weren’t you? At least last you mentioned it to us, you were.”

“I was,” you confirmed. “I don’t really quite understand what’s causing it sometimes lately. Sometimes I do, but… it’s something I need to handle on my own.”

“What do you mean you need to handle it on your own?” Yoongi asked. “We promised to be here for you whenever you need us, and we stick by that. We want to help. If it’s this bad then, not to sound rude but maybe it’s something too tough for you to handle on your own right now. And that’s okay, that’s what we’re here for.”

You really had no idea how you could possibly tell them the root of the problem without making them feel bad. It wasn’t their fault they were busy and you were hurt. Not to mention, if you told Taehyung of all people, he would only feel infinitely worse since he never stopped blaming himself for you being hurt.

You must have taken too long to reply since Taehyung offered in a quiet voice, “Is it because you’re alone? That you’re sitting at home by yourself most of the time with no one there to keep you company?”

You were so shocked he hit the nail straight on the head that you just stared at the screen with your mouth open, not able to reply.

“That’s what it is, isn’t it?” Taehyung looked at you through the phone, gaze imploring.

“I-,” you really needed to work on your lying capabilities. With that earnest look in his eyes, how could you dare lie to him? You nodded carefully. “But, I don’t blame you guys,” you quickly clarified. “You guys are busy, it’s your job. I absolutely do not think you guys are ignoring me or that you don’t care. I know that you just don’t have the time, and my only other friends are singers too. I don’t or can’t expect any of you to just drop your jobs for me.”

“No, we can’t,” Yoongi said. “But we could definitely put more effort into contacting you.”

Taehyung vigorously nodded. “Yes! Would that help? If we texted and called more often? Remind you that you’re important to us no matter what? And make sure you know we are always missing you and thinking about you? Because I do. I miss you like crazy without you with us. Even when we’re still in Seoul.”

Taehyung spoke really fast, making you take a second to absorb everything that he said before you could reply. “I think that would help, yes,” you admitted. “If I’m honest, I’m always wanting to text the group chat. But I don’t want to bother you when you’re so busy, and-”

“You could never be a bother to us, noona,” Yoongi firmly responded. “If you want to text the group chat, do it. It doesn’t matter if it’s just one text, or if the next time we have time to look you’ve written us an entire novel. We’ve been curious why you’ve seemed so quiet recently, actually.”

Taehyung nodded. “Yeah, we’d love to get texts from you whenever. Even if we can’t read them right when you send them, I’m sure everyone would feel happy to see them. We all really miss you, especially right now while we’re so far away. Getting done with work just to see you’ve texted us? It’ll be like a birthday present.” His smile was so sweet, you could feel his honesty through the screen.

And it made you smile in return. It was amazing how easily these boys were able to dispel your worries and make you feel worlds better.

“Okay,” you said. “I’ll start texting you guys whenever I feel like it.”

“Promise?” Yoongi asked.

“Promise.”

“You know all of us love you, right?” Taehyung asked.

“Of course I do,” you said.

“Good,” Yoongi replied. “Wasn’t there something you wanted to tell her about, Tae?”

“Oh yeah!” Taehyung bounced a little in excitement.

It wasn’t lost on you how Yoongi had suddenly changed the topic to make sure your mind was no longer on what was bothering you. As you listened to Taehyung animatedly tell a story about something that happened today, the smile sitting on your face was genuine.

You’ve wondered before, but you didn’t know if you’d ever get an answer as to how you were so lucky to get such amazing friends in your life.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 35 | Chapter 36 | Chapter 37

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope @misohime @netflix-batman-sleep @smallbaby-cat @leitholdwithlove @ramyagovindraj @rjsmochii​ @overtherainbow35​ @leesalts​

Send me a message or ask if you want tagged! And also feel free to leave comments or send asks to just talk to me!

#BTS fanfic #BTS x reader #thebtswritersclub #btswriterscollective #thebtsficarchive #If I Never Met You #IINMY #Manager!reader #Idol!au #jin #seokjin #suga #yoongi #j-hope #hoseok #rm #namjoon #jimin #v #taehyung #jungkook #fluff #angst

[jadeile-writes]

Fanfic Progress Update 56

Hi, my quarantined friends and enemies! Let’s take a look at my Fanfic Progress Update, since it’s Saturday! Stay tuned to the end of this post for a spoiler-y glimpse into the next chapter of Adventure gone Mini AND Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest.

Current WIPs:

Adventure gone Mini

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild / The Minish Cap

Summary: Sidon is given his very own Sheikah Slate, the first replica Purah has managed to make, and sets out to travel with Link with the intention of registering warp points for convenient travel in the future. However, when a malfunction shrinks them down to the size of bugs, and they meet little people called the Minish, they have to change their plans from “fun adventuring” to “getting out of this mess”. Not that those two have to exclude one another. Link/Sidon.

Progress: Chapter 36 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 18th of March. Chapter 37 is about 1/3 done and is scheduled for 8th of April.

I post a new chapter every three weeks on Wednesdays. These updates always include a sneak-peek for the next chapter, slowly getting longer over the three weeks waiting period.

—–

That month of the year

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: Every year, for a single month, the Radio Demon gets… emotional. His antlers are in velvet and he’s pumped full of hormones that make him behave quite unlike himself: suddenly, everywhere he looks, instead of seeing fellow demons all he sees are helpless little fawns that nobody is taking a proper care of! Solution? Adopt them.

Husk, Niffty, Camille, Honey, and the rest of the older Fawns put up with their Mom/Dad’s nonsense every year, but this time there’s a new, rotten apple in their midst and they have to protect Alastor from this crook. Without Alastor knowing about it. As Husk likes to put it: “This is fucking bullshit. …I mean fudgy nonsense.”

(Crack taken seriously. Gen)

Progress: The first two chapters are finished! The third chapter hasn’t been started yet. I want to have at least three chapters written before posting anything, preferably more than that because I don’t know how long this fic is gonna be. I can tell it’s longer than the originally planned five chapters tho, since we’ve barely gotten the ball rolling with the first two chapters!

This fic is co-authored by Maximillian!

—–

Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: This is not a stand-alone story! This is a oneshot/drabble collection in the universe of “Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife”. Read the main story before bothering with this one.

I decided to give my readers a chance to throw Radiohusk prompts at me, and had the Afterlife-verse as an option to set the stories in. Everyone liked that, so this fic is now a thing. Enjoy the extra mischief from these two dorks!

Progress: Chapter 7 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 20th of March. Chapter 8 will be posted on 24th of March, and chapter 9 on 27th of March. This story will have at least nine more chapters, but who even knows at this point. Additional prompts are not accepted at this moment.

This fic receives a new chapter every Tuesday and Friday. I’ll post a sneak-peek for Tuesday’s chapter on these updates, and one for Friday’s chapter in a separate post on Wednesday.

—–

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Rolling with it (Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)

Possibly worth staying for (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Experiment in Romance (Hazbin Hotel)

—–

That’s it for the WIPs! Here is the promised sneak-peeks into Adventure gone Mini and Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest. (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Mini

Misteri led the two of them through the Toadstool Town, as it was called. The town wasn't very large, especially compared to the capital, which was the last city they had been to, but she used the little time it took for them to walk to the town hall to animatedly talk about her home. She explained how they, indeed, used magic to keep the toadstools preserved, and in some cases even alive if it was known that the building would need more space in the future – the Minish who wanted large families would start with a small house and then let it grow bigger as they had more children. It was very fascinating and practical, and Sidon looked like he wanted to stop and observe the growth with his own two eyes, as silly as that was.

Also, turned out that the local Minish were called Mist Minish, while the "regular" ones were Forest Minish. Rumor had it there were Mountain Minish around the mountains, and Field Minish in the Hyrule Fields. Misteri didn't know if there were Desert Minish in the Gerudo lands, Water Minish in the Zora Kingdom, Jungle Minish in the Faron region, and maybe some specific kind of Minish around the Hylian and Sheikah towns, but assumed it to be so. Link suddenly felt like their mini adventure was woefully inadequate now, since there was so much more to the Minish world to be seen all over Hyrule. He wanted to explore all of it one day. Maybe with Sidon, maybe with Zelda, maybe with both.

Bushwa

Husker was having a conversation with Angel Dust again. He had been doing that in increasing amounts lately, especially compared to how he had actively pushed him – everyone, really – away on every possible manner not that long ago. Alastor's grin sharpened and his eyes narrowed as he watched them from the other side of the room, ignoring the company he was with. He was itching to magic his way over there and insert himself into their conversation. Subtly push Angel out of it somewhere down the line and have Husker's undivided attention on himself, and most importantly away from Angel. He had been feeling this way on a few occasions recently, and it was disconcerting. He didn't like it at all. Alastor felt… threatened by Angel's newly found presence in Husker's life. And he knew why, as much as he hated to admit it.

It was a well known fact that Angel was interested in Husker in a romantic manner, to some extent. He had made that abundantly clear over the months; even Alastor had been able to see it despite his slowness at recognizing these things. Now, Husker was Alastor's sheik, and hadn't shown any interest in Angel at any point during their stay at the hotel. But, on a theoretical level, Angel had more to offer to Husker than Alastor did if the two of them were to pursue a romantic relationship. And that left Alastor feeling ill at ease.

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

AO3    FFnet    Purple Crayon    Ko-fi

#Fanfic progress update

[clunelover]

I’m going to attempt a cut because this may be my longest ever post

Okay here is the long post I’ve been writing and rewriting and adding to in my head:

I love my BFF. She’s wonderful and giving and insightful and funny and we’ve been through some Real Shit together, such as me getting evicted from our college apartment and dropping out of school due to my then-blossoming mental illness. Her realizing she is bisexual and trying to figure out what that meant for her life going forward, and then finding her now husband and planning a wedding while he had a mental health crisis and had to go to treatment (same as what I did but like up a level in intensity). At times she and I have been possibly too enmeshed. Okay. So, current challenges are based on a lot of backstory, some of which I’ve posted about on here before but not all:

Her now husband has been in treatment for mental health twice. Once around Thanksgiving before last, and he is there again now. Last week he stepped down after like four weeks inpatient, and now is onto the day program like I did, only currently it’s all from home on video.

When this was all going down the first time, their wedding was 6 months away. I struggled a lot over how much to say, and ultimately told her I thought she should at least postpone, maybe cancel. And when he came out of treatment that first time, he even said he wanted to postpone! She declined, citing social pressure and embarrassment and save the dates having gone out. I think an unspoken part of it was that she wants a baby real bad, so she thought they should just push through, get to baby making, deal with whatever fallout later?

But in between finishing treatment and the wedding, he continued to mess up - he does a lot of avoiding (including of work) and when he’s ashamed, his first instinct is to lie. So she kept having incident after incident of “discovering” that he’d been lying about going to work. Or hiding some additional debt (and also not paying on it). At this point I think I told her, just financially speaking, you should not tie yourself to this person. She did not like me saying that, and eventually I said I could not hear any more about his fuckups. Because she kept giving him ultimatums, but never followed through on them, and I just could not go on that roller coaster. That was a tough moment in our friendship. Conversation became very strained because so much was happening that I had opted out of hearing about. I still don’t know if that was the right thing to do. I tried to support her emotionally but that was difficult under that boundary I set.

Then they got married last May. After lots of talk with my therapist I decided that I should still go to the wedding and be matron of honor and stuff, because I was doing it out of love for her. And I do actually like him a lot too! Just had and have a lot of concerns.

After the wedding things seemed pretty good, he got a job at a dog daycare and seemed to really love that (or maybe before wedding, who can recall).

BFF was officially game on, full court press for baby. I’m 34 which means I think she’s 35 and turning 36 soon.

Sometime in fall he got fired from dog daycare for badmouthing the owner and then getting into a shouting match (!) with them. In January he got a new job, as an assistant manager at a grocery store. I did not say this to BFF but my initial thought was “if he can’t hack dog daycare how can he assistant manage a busy grocery store?”

I think he lasted a month at grocery store. Then he started punking out and calling in because his “feet hurt.” BFF freaked out because she assumed he was going to lose another job. She apparently had some very firm conversation with him about how she wasn’t happy and almost none of her needs were being met. A couple days later he told her he’d been feeling suicidal and needs to go back to treatment. OH and somewhere in there things also went off the rails with trying for baby. I think he has performance issues in addition to low libido, AND the thought of becoming a dad was triggering. For instance, he was supposed to give a semen sample for analysis but freaked out just being in the clinic for it and left. When BFF told me all this she kept asking “is this okay” and “is this too triggering for you to hear” and at first I thought she meant because of how I also was having a flare up in mental health symptoms due to stressful job, but then later I realized it was because of my previous “can’t hear this stuff anymore” edict. But honestly, I feel totally different about that now! They’re married. The disaster (in my view at least) that I was trying to prevent did happen. So nothing feels urgent or painful to me now, other than sadness for her.

While he was inpatient, BFF had been driving his car because it’s nicer than hers, and then it got reposssed so like she came out one morning and it just wasn’t in the driveway. She knew he’d been very behind on payments, like to the point he had a small claim against him, but she thought he’d finally dealt with that and set up a payment plan. When she called him to say what was going on his inclination was to drop out of treatment and come home early to “deal with it,” which he was eventually talked out of.

So THAT is just to get caught up on past events! Sheesh, this is so long. So my current agitations (some of which are serious and some petty) are:

I’m worried that when his back is against the wall he claims mental breakdown to evade responsibility. This feels very mean of me to think, and also he’s been assessed by experts who presumably can tell when someone is making it up, so...I know he really must not be! But this still feels like the pattern.

Another petty thought is that I too have some heavy duty diagnoses and childhood trauma, but I’ve got it together and manage my mental health very avidly to stay as healthy as possible, so why can’t he. ALSO NOT FAIR! I know that. But it keeps popping into my head. It’s shitty that I can relate to him so well and yet it almost makes me LESS sympathetic. Something for me to work on.

I also worry that the instinct to lie is something that’s hard to get rid of. I know because I have it! I think I have stopped listening to it but it still comes up. And how can you have a good marriage with someone who regularly lies about important things. I don’t think you can.

BFF’s current line is that she’s going to wait til he finishes treatment but then she wants to go back to intense trying for baby. And that if he doesn’t want to, or says he needs to wait, she might want to get divorced. She says she’s put a lot on hold for him and can’t wait anymore. So, yes, she has. And there is the matter of age that is also a consideration. But this feels so mixed up to me! Like, the time for strict ultimatums and maybe splitting up was a couple years ago! Now he is working on some serious mental health stuff and it seems unfair, and possibly undermining of his progress, to say “well I’ve waited long enough so impregnate me now or else”...but also I do think it seems likely and possibly for the best that they’d end up divorced, so what do I care if she rushes that process along?

Big picture though, I don’t think he’s ready to be a dad or maybe doesn’t even want to be. I feel so sad for BFF because he was her first real boyfriend and she was kind of desperate for this to work, so she has just always grilled him about his desire for marriage and kids or what his timeline is, and has taken any vague affirmative response as total agreement. Like they were at the mall and Gymboree was going out of business so he suggested going in and buying a onesie. So, you know, proof positive that he really wants a baby ASAP too!! 😞 ...so, again, even though it feels somehow unfair to me that she’d start pushing on him now, I suppose it’s better that it come out sooner rather than later if that is the case

She also just totally steamrolls him, see getting married even though he asked to postpone, so I really hope she doesn’t steamroll him into having a baby if he doesn’t want one...

She’d never say it, but I get the sense that deep down she thinks let’s just have the baby and if he’s in a bad way I’ll just do all the work. She’s kind of a control freak so she may feel like she’d prefer that! But I think she overestimates how much harder it would be to have a baby while the other adult in the house can’t help you, won’t get a job, etc. than to just DO it alone for real.

I think she is also glossing over how having a baby and the attendant sleep deprivation can make mental health issues get much worse. Like when I was pregnant with Edie, my psychiatrist strongly recommended I just not even try to breastfeed, so that Jeremy could take night feedings because of how crazy I could go without enough sleep. I did not listen but she may have been right! I did go pretty fucking crazy, with both kids.

Oh! And she also has this big plan that he’s going to get on disability. I have all kinds of feelings and opinions about this. Like, rightly or wrongly, I don’t think he’d meet the criteria for this. Also she keeps saying “well he lost his last three jobs due to mental illness” but...does getting fired for screaming at your boss and telling them “you’re terrible” count as losing job due to mental illness?? But she’s so sure this will work and I have trouble engaging with it and being supportive because it feels delusional to me. It’s also making her view all issues of disability through this lens. Like, my stepmom is anxious and as a result very scatterbrained and inarticulate, and she’s also not worked in a few years partly due to health concerns (but like, complications from gastric bypass...not a disability) and BFF keeps saying “why doesn’t stepmom get on disability?” And I’m like “UMMMM because she’s not disabled??” I did finally tell her to stop saying that to me. But yeah, it’s just hard because again, it feels delusional, but she’s going ahead with it so what’s the point of me being harsh about how much I don’t think it’ll work?

Okay last one - she likes to source opinions and experiences from other people to help her think things through. She’s always been close to my stepmom, who had to divorce my dad because of how bad his drinking got, and my dad is also disabled (for real!) so she spent a lot of time as a caregiver. So BFF has had a lot of long phone conversations with stepmom about all that. I also have another friend whose husband is too mentally ill to work (but not on disability! Which BFF also keeps bringing up). He’s been out of work for years and they have two kids and to be fair, their life does seem crazy to me from the outside, but that friend seems to have her eyes open about everything and feels it’s working for her for now. Anyway, that husband has ALSO done the program that BFF’s husband and I have done, so when he first went in BFF wanted to have a chat with this friend about her experience, so we all met up to chat. She was very up front and blunt - “if we didn’t have kids we’d be divorced” and “we haven’t had sex in years”...but now, BFF basically uses this friend and my stepmom’s relationship with my dad as sort of justifications in her mind - “well I’m not THAT bad!” which I hate. Especially wrt to friend whose husband doesn’t work - “I’d never let it get that bad. I’d have left before now. I’d say he had to get a job or get on disability” etc etc. This drives me craaaaazy. Like, remind me not to introduce you to people to have a heart-to-heart if you’re just going to use them as your mental worst case scenario. Also, bitch, you wouldn’t “let it get that bad?” YOU ARE ON THE ROAD TO “THAT BAD” RIGHT NOW! Your husband lost three jobs in as many years. You also don’t currently have sex. How do you get to years? You start with weeks and months.

Okay, that’s it. It’s just been building and rolling around in my head. If you read it all, um, congrats? Also, this maybe makes our friendship sound bad, but other than most aspects of her marriage I have no issues with her and we get along great!! It’s been hard because prior to me telling her not to get married we’ve seen eye to eye, or close to, on everything important.

[readyplayerhobi]

A Wish Fulfilled

; Wolf Shifter!Hoseok x Rabbit Shifter!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, alluded smut

; Word Count: 3k

; Warnings: Depictions of childbirth, allusions to miscarriage

; Synopsis: After many failed attempts, Hoseok and you finally welcome your much awaited child into the world.

; A/N: This was originally supposed to be a one shot but...I lost inspiration for it and had this scene written out anyway. Hence the rather abrupt start, but I’m pretty sure this is something that people would have wanted to see!

; Run Little Rabbit Trilogy

Run Little Rabbit

Daddy’s Little Peanut (no smut)

Big Bad Wolf

; RLR Drabbles

Choices

Concerns

A Wish Fulfilled

Grief

-

It had been half a day since your heat finally finished and poor Hoseok is officially worn out. His own heat had ended two days ago, which meant that he’d spent the last two trying desperately to keep up with you despite being completely exhausted sexually.

The one consolation of his was that two of you wouldn’t even contemplate sex for another few days after that intense session, and even you felt a little sore for once. It was definitely an eye-opening experience when you both went into heat at the same time you’d discovered, though you certainly didn’t begrudge the mind numbingly good sex he’d given you.

You definitely think it was safe to say that the combination of you getting ultra submissive during your heat was an unbelievable turn on for his wolf. Even after almost three years together, his overwhelming dominance during his heat’s was still a little overwhelming and the combination of your own intoxicating pheromones had set him off even more so than usual.

There likely wasn’t a wolf on the entire street right now, opting to flee the chokingly oppressive aura their Alpha had exuded for a few days. You almost felt sorry for them, but your mind was still sluggish with pleasure.

Right now, he was laid in bed next to you with newly clean sheets bunched around his waist. The beautiful expanse of his honeyed, tan skin is on full display with the toned muscles of his stomach visible with each slow breath as he naps. His head is tilted to the side on the fresh pillow, pretty mouth dropped open and you can’t help but smile as you reach out, tracing a finger over the soft pink petal of his lower lip.

Instantly he’s closing his mouth, tongue flicking out to wet them before they drop open slowly once more. The corner of your own lips kick up at the sight and you shuffle closer to him, lying comfortably on your side while you push one hand underneath your pillow and rest your cheek on top of your other.

His hair is still damp from the shower he took half an hour ago, a dark ruby red that signifies his winter colouring. It’s not in any particular style right now, just splayed across the cotton and letting the slight crease in his forehead be seen with ease.

From this angle, you get a perfect view of the way his dark lashes feather his soft and rounded cheeks while the long, slope of his nose entices you to reach out and slowly trace over it. The movement causes him to wrinkle it, a hand coming up scratch at his nose and you loud giggle causes him to blink blearily.

Tiredness radiates from him so strongly that you get the biggest urge to cuddle up close to him and soothe him back to sleep, running your fingers through his hair until he’s calm and breathing heavily in your arms. Beautiful, warm brown eyes watch you lazily, his eyes barely open before his lips quirk into a smile and he’s pulling you into his arms.

You make a soft noise of surprise as he presses his face into your neck, the skin sore from his relentless ministrations over the week, before he inhales deeply. Staying quiet, you don’t move for a moment as your rabbit quivers in fear, deeply rooted instinct telling you not to attract any more attention from the scary wolf inhaling your scent.

But the mate bond between you pacifies any worry or fear you may have, and instead tells you to be calm and relaxed. Hoseok is your mate, he would never hurt you intentionally.

“You smell so good.” He gets out, his voice low and full of gravel from his nap. The sounds of it makes your lower stomach swirl but you swiftly tell yourself to calm down. You can’t be having sex with him again. Hoseok would be liable to try and bite you if you came near his dick again right now.

“Well...I did just take a shower. And I also used that new strawberries and cream scented body lotion. It smells delicious right?” You muse to him, smiling as his nose tickles your neck as he keeps sniffing.

Hoseok shakes his head, his warm and wet tongue causing you to jerk in surprise as he licks a slow trail up your neck. There’s nothing sensual about it though, as almost immediately he’s pulling his head back with a thoughtful expression, running his tongue around in his mouth.

He stops suddenly, taking in a final inhale that causes his bare chest to inflate rapidly with how deep it is before he’s looking at you with a bright smile, the grin you’d long ago fallen in love with causing your stomach to fizz with happiness. “You’re pregnant.”

The words are whispered but filled with excitement and trepidation. Almost immediately your facial expressions mirrors his before you’re pressing your bruised lips to his own, the both of you letting out a quiet whimper from the pressure of sore lips but neither of you care.

Pulling away, you reach beneath your sleep shirt and tug it up, revealing the flat expanse of your stomach to the cool room. Hoseok watches quietly before moving his hand, letting his fingers trail along the sensitive skin before pressing to your belly gently, stroking in a comforting manner.

“I hope this time everything goes right. It has to right? Fate can’t be that cruel.” He murmurs, his face falling into sadness as the memories of previous painful experiences with pregnancy come back. You take his hand and kiss the pads of his fingertips gently, giving him a sweet smile.

“I’m sure this time it’s the one. I can feel it. A pregnancy of two heats? There’s no way it’s not happening.” You say firmly, shuffling forward to press a kiss firmly to his own. For an Alpha wolf, he was rather emotional about things sometimes and you found yourself being the one to comfort him.

He says nothing for a moment before nodding with a tentative smile. Looking back down to your stomach, he places his hand back on it before letting his fingers play over your smooth skin and drawing patterns of love there. “Please be okay. Please. We’re so ready you. We’re excited to meet you already little peanut.”

-

8 Months Later

An overwhelming need to bear down has you groaning out loud, eyes closing tightly as your entire body clenches in response to the instinct that has been ingrained in mother’s for millennia. Panting out loud, you shake slightly as you relax once the pressure disappears for a moment but there’s no getting away from the insistent ache in your lower half.

It’s been a long time coming, and part of you wants to stop it completely as the pain hits in another wave in no time at all, but you grit your teeth to prevent any complaints falling out of your mouth. The pain will be worth it, you tell yourself softly. It has to be, because this baby has been so wanted for so long now.

Soft lips press themselves to your temple, your husband inhaling deeply and you cringe for a moment. There’s no way you can smell good to him, given your pain drenched sweat that soaks your skin and dampens your hair.

Hoseok was currently doped up on scent suppressants though and so likely couldn’t smell you properly, which would probably distress him if he wasn’t a bit out of it. He had already had to be sedated once, so he was a little groggy and not entirely with everything that was happening. He’d been told that it was a condition of him being allowed into the hospital.

As an Alpha wolf, he had the potential to scare other expecting mothers and their partners from the high levels of stress he’d experience watching you give birth. He’d also become increasingly protective in the final stages of your pregnancy, to the point that other Pack members had been barred from the Packhouse until he’d got over it once the baby was born and he’d bonded enough for his wolf to feel comfortable again.

What that meant however, was that he’d become snappy towards even medical staff. And that was to say nothing of any male staff, who’d frankly had no chance.

So he’d agreed to everything they’d demanded of him, no matter how sad it had made the both of you that he wouldn’t be in complete control of his faculties to witness his first child been born. But he’d been unwilling to accept that he’d be barred from the hospital if he didn’t.

Which was why he’d spent a whole hour earlier fast asleep after the sedation shot, the kangaroo shifter midwife deciding that if he took it at that time then he’d be coherent enough to actually experience and enjoy the birth of his first child instead of being the glazed wreck he’d been for the last hour.

Though in fairness, it was probably a good job that he couldn’t smell you properly because you had no doubt that you likely didn’t smell good. Not only were you sweating constantly, but it was tinged with your pain and then there was just the fact that you’d been in labour for 36 hours at this point.

Turns out that not only conceiving a mixed-species baby was hard, but the pregnancy and labour itself was equally as hard. After a certain point, you’d had to drink a special shake that contained meat proteins that would be beneficial to your baby in case it was a predator shifter but was also digestible to you.

And once little peanut was born, they’d have to be fed the same until their species presented. It was saddening to know you wouldn’t be able to breastfeed, but it was an unfortunate reality of the rare prey-predator mix.

It also meant that you’d gone into labour a whole month early as your body had decided it had had enough, and the labour itself had been excruciatingly long and difficult. But it was going to be worth it, because Hoseok and you would have the beautiful, tiny baby you’d both so desperately wanted.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asked, voice low and gravelly as the words slip out of his mouth easily. You wish he hadn’t had to medicate himself, and wondered if perhaps he would resent it in the future. Taking his hand, you squeeze it gently before turning your head towards him.

He’s so close that his nose runs along your face until you pull back, giving him a gentle smile that’s filled with amusement at the sight of his eyes. They’re the golden hazel of his wolf, only the pupils are so blown out that it looks like he’s been high all day.

Appreciating the distraction from the pain, even if he didn’t intend it, you shift slightly to press a kiss to his lips. He’s slow to respond, but does so eventually before moving back with a dopey smile.

“No, I’m not. But I’m pushing a tiny person out of my vagina so are you really surprised at my answer?” You tease him through strained breaths, giving him a clenched smile as another contraction rips through you.

Hoseok watches with a frown for a moment before shuffling closer in his chair, his arms coming around you as he tugs you a little into his shoulder. You say nothing as you let your forehead fall against him, inhaling the deeply comforting scent of your mate as he runs his hand along your back in a ridiculously reassuring and soothing manner.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could take some of the pain for you. You can bite my shoulder if you want. Or whatever. I won’t get mad.” You can’t help but snort at that, smiling against the fabric of his black hoodie. He runs his fingers down your arm slowly before pressing another kiss to your hair. “I’m proud of you. I hope you know that.”

You go to respond before a contraction takes your breath away and you move to lay back. Your midwife, Momo, comes into the room and dips beneath the gown you’re wearing to check how things are going. The bright smile she gives when she comes up makes your stomach flip.

“Good news, I can see the head is crowning!”

Everything seems to be a blur after that, with your contractions coming so fast it just feels like constant convulsions inside you as your body works hard to expel the baby that has inhabited you for eight months.

Deep, pained groans are ripped from your throat as you push as hard as you possibly can and you can tell that Hoseok is becoming more alert with each cry from your mouth. The Alpha in him must be burning up the sedatives quicker than normal though admittedly, you barely note the concerned looks between the staff as you focus on the sheer need to push constantly.

“Okay, come on girl. You can do it, they’re almost here! Just give me one more push, one big push and you can both finally meet baby!” Momo encourages from between your legs, looking up at you with a wide smile and you can’t help the whimper as you push.

Hoseok is whispering motivational words into your ear as well, one hand holding yours while the other strokes at your hair in a comforting manner. Intense pressure between your legs causes you to give one more herculean effort before you feel a sudden relief and Momo gives a soft cheer.

Before you even realise what’s happening, a tiny baby is placed onto your chest who immediately begins wriggling before a soft, broken cry leaves their throat. Both Hoseok and you freeze at the sound and you look down at the small body on you. “You have a little girl.”

You’d never really understood when people say they fell in love instantly, but staring at your baby you suddenly understand perfectly well. It’s like you’d had a secret well of love hidden deep inside you that’s suddenly overflowing into the connection between you and your newborn daughter and you instantly know that you’d do anything for her.

As tears well in your eyes, blurring your vision until they spill over your lashes, you look over at Hoseok to see him staring at her with the exact same expression. His own tears fall down his face silently as he watches you both and you let out a breathy laugh, squeezing his hand tightly and breaking his concentration.

Your little girl is taken from you momentarily and you feel almost bereft as you watch them clean and weigh her, checking that she’s healthy enough for their liking. Hoseok half rises after them and you have to hold tight to his hand to keep him in check, your own need to have your daughter in your arms strong but you know you can’t let Hoseok’s instincts go wild here.

“She’s perfect.” Hoseok whispers, his gaze firmly on his little girl as she gets bundled into blankets. Momo is smiling sweetly as she comes back over and places her into your arms. It’s like the last 37 hours have disappeared, and suddenly you feel nothing negative as you look down at a vision of perfection in your arms.

She may be newborn, but she has your mate’s nose already and you tell him so. He smiles softly before teasing you, nudging your arm and noting that she probably looks like nobody right now. But if she did, she’d look like you for definite.

Shifting in the bed, you try to lift her to hand her to her daddy only to find tiredness wearing down your limbs. He responds immediately, innately understanding what you want from him and you watch as he oh so carefully takes hold of his little girl.

As he adjusts her in his arms, resting her until he can see her sweet face, you watch as tears fill his eyes once more. Hoseok’s lips tremble slightly and he sniffles, trying hard to put on a brave face but he can’t stop the slow trails that make their way down his rounded cheeks as the tears finally fall.

“Do you have a name for her?” Momo asks and you jerk slightly, having forgotten that there were other people in the room. She’s taking photos for you and you look at her with wide, blinking eyes, having forgotten as well that you’d asked her to do that for you.

Looking back at the heart warming sight of your mate and daughter as they bond, you sigh softly and smile. The overriding instincts of his wolf have evidently surpassed the scent suppressors as he leans down and inhales the scent of his newborn daughter deeply, committing her unique smell to memory so he can always find her.

“Yuna. Jung Yuna.” You whisper softly, heart bursting with emotion for them both and you find yourself crying once more as you watch the two loves of your lives; heart bursting for the new addition to your family while the bond between you both swells with overwhelming love.

Hoseok is rocking her slightly, the movements subtle but they’re lulling your tiny daughter into a sleep already. There’s probably nowhere safer for her in the world right now than where she is; in her daddy’s arms.

“Hey little peanut. It’s your daddy. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you for so long now. Gods, we’ve been waiting for you for so long. I love you so much already, and so does your mommy.” He whispers with a soft smile, eyes flicking up to yours and you melt at the amount of love and affection in those warm brown eyes.

As the three of you bond together in peace in the quiet hospital room, you feel a sense of peace and tranquility wash over you. This was worth every second of pain you’d put up with, and then some. She was perfect. Jung Hoseok was perfect. Your little family, as mish-mashed as it may seem to outsiders, was perfect.

#armiesnet #networkbangtan #btscreatorsnet #kkreationsnet #btssunshinenet #hoseok fluff #j hope fluff #hobi fluff #bts fluff #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #wolf shifter hoseok #shifter hoseok #father hoseok #daddy hoseok #hoseok drabble #hoseok imagine #bts drabble #bts imagine

[qvintcssence]

Task || 002 — About the Mun.

01. what’s your name/alias you go by ??

Stephanie, but I go by Steph or S. 

02. what’s your age ??

Well—if Dani’s ancient then I am prehistoric. If you insist on a precise number, I’m 30.  

03. what’s your zodiac sign ??

Aquarius.

04. what’s your ethnicity ??

Dudes, I don’t even know my blood type let alone my heritage. What I do know is that I’m whiter than casper. 

05. what’s your nationality ??

American. 

06. what’s your favorite band and/or musical artist ??

Hahaha, cover your ears, Cody. It’s Taylor Swift. 

07. what’s your dream job ??

My absolute dream job would be writing either as a novelist or showrunner. That said, I’m really passionate about teaching, and can’t wait have a classroom of my own. 

08. what’s one place you would love to visit ??

My favorite city in the world is New York City, but I really want to visit Germany. 

09. what’s your favorite tv show ??

Oh goodness... I’ve seen and loved way too many. If we’re talking ultimates though, I’m going to have to say Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

10. what’s your favorite movie ??

Remember the Titans. I am a sucker for sports films. I literally cry the whole time because they are just that moving. 

11. what’s your favorite song ?

I don’t really have a favorite. I go through stages of listening to songs on repeat over and over again and then not revisiting them until some time later. Right now that includes “Don’t Throw it Away” by the Jonas Brothers and “Church” by Aly and Aj. 

12. what’s your favorite sport ??

Baseball! I am a huge fan of the Cleveland Indians, though I’ve recently started stanning women’s soccer. How about that Christen Press though? 

13. what’s your favorite food ??

Italian. I’m garbage for pizza and pasta. 

14. what’s your favorite face claim to use ??

Hmmm. A few months ago I would have said Eliza Taylor without a doubt, but I’ve really taken to playing with Tasya Teles and Daniel Sharman as well. 

15. what’s your least favorite face claim ??

I get very uncomfortable when people roleplay with child actors and/or children in general. 

16. what’s your favorite character of yours to play ?? which do you think you’re most like ??

I have been with Rory for several years now, so I definitely feel like I know her the best. She’s very near and dear to my heart, so she’s probably my favorite. I love all my kids though. They’re all so different, and they provide me with such a unique perspective! 

I don’t know if I’m really like any of my muses. If I had to pick one, I’d say Matt because I too cannot speak around girls. Haha I don’t have him anymore though, so maybe Ashton or Jonas. 

17. what’s your sexuality ??

 I’m a lesbian because women 😍

18. what’s the last movie you saw in a cinema/theater ??

Ugh. I feel so set up by this question! I took my niece and nephew to see The Secret Life of Pets 2 today, and it was pretty cute. 

19. what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ??

The summer before 7th grade, I broke my leg and shattered my growth plate sliding into home plate. I was safe though, and we won the game! Too bad my pain tolerance levels are like zero, and it was the worst pain I’d ever felt. #embarrassing

20. what’s a random or interesting fact about you ??

This is the question I struggled with the most. I’m boring, y’all... I have a baby brain tumor that I call a ‘brain buddy’ because he’s not really doing anything up there but chillin’. Also, I once wrote a feature length Power Rangers Film when I was 12. I still have it! 

21. do you listen to music while you write ??

Sometimes! If I do, it has to be very mellow because I get distracted very easily. If there is a song that really fits the moment or inspired me to write the moment, I’ll listen to it on repeat to keep the vibe. Otherwise, I’ll listen to instrumentals or Sleeping At Last’s album titled “Atlas.” 

22. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer ??

It all depends on when I have time. I honestly get my best writing done on pen and paper while I’m at work with fewer distractions, but a lot of times, I get inspired at night. I also did a lot of writing while substitute teaching, so it all just depends on if the situation allows for it and how focused I can get myself.  

23. have you ever roleplayed intoxicated ??

Yes, it’s embarrassing. Don’t do it! 

24. what language or languages do you speak ??

I only speak English fluently, but I can read French decently well.

25. how long have you roleplayed ??

I started role playing way back in the days of message forums and MSN chat. It was power rangers, and I was 14 so... 16 years. Damn. 

26. favorite roleplay genre ??

Honestly, genre isn’t important to me. Give me a story worth telling, and I’m in. I just need plot. Everything else will fall into place. 

27. one sound you hate & one you love ??

I fucking hate the sound of metal against metal or metal against teeth. Anything that gets that loud screeching noise is a big no from me. 

I love the sound of heavy rain and thunder storms. 

28. do you believe in ghosts ??

I’m fairly certain that no less than three of my former houses have been haunted, so yes. Yes, I do. 

29. do you believe in aliens ??

Sure, why not? I find it harder to believe that the galaxy exists with only us. 

30. do you believe in true love ??

Yes, I do. I believe in reincarnation, and soulmates, and finding each other in each and every universe. It might not be forever, because bad things happen, but it is a constant. 

31. do you hold grudges ??

Not really. I get all hopped up about something for like 10 minutes and then forget about it. No use staying angry over something you can’t change. 

32. do you have any obsessions right now ??

I’m forever obsessed with Harry Potter, but I’d say I have a few other currents. The 1OO, Women’s Soccer, Cleveland Indians Baseball, and Resident Evil are the ones that come to mind. 

33. do you drive & if so, have you ever been in a crash ??

Double yes. I ran over my fence post backing out of my drive a few years back, and I’ve fallen victim to the icy Ohioan roads a few times. I also side swiped a truck merging into a lane and also pulling into a parking spot, but listen... I’m not that bad of a driver! Not-So-Fun Fact: All three of the weather induced accidents occurred on February 11th—a day before my birthday. 🙃 These also all occurred before I was 25... minus the bad park job. 

34. do you like the smell of gasoline ??

That’s a no. (Dani, that’s gross!)  

35. do you prefer writing fluff, angst, or smut ??

Honestly, I love it all. Not a huge smut writer, just because it feels a little too personal with the person you’re writing with, but I’m not opposed to it as long as everyone is over 18 and comfortable writing it. Angst and fluff get me hook, line, and sinker though. I live for it! 

36. are you in a relationship ??

I WISH.

37. grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 23, what is the 17the line ??

“I have buried one friend to-day,” he thought: “what if this should cost me another?” —The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.

38. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first four songs that pop up:

“Let’s Get Married” by Bleachers, “There for You” by Martin Garrix & Troye Sivan, “Star Maps” by Aly & Aj, and “Maps” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. 

#pandemonium: task #task02.5 #// i was also going to do replies but i have a massive migraine as well :(

[noonmutter]

*Grinch grin* Make me admit something... DO THEM ALL.

Pff like I haven’t had to do this rodeo before come at me scrub

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

That’s either my realtor or my mom, so no.

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

No? Why on earth would I?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Not to my knowledge.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Absolutely. Trust is the core of a relationship, without it you’re just acquaintances who maybe make eye contact sometimes.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

From the phrasing I assume this means “like-like” and since I live with my fiance, yes.

( I really did answer all of them at once but I’m not enough of a turd to fill everybody’s dashboard so the rest are behind the cut! )

6. What are you excited for?

Boring work stuff that makes little sense to anybody who doesn’t work with me but is going to be just as jazzed about it as I am because they’re FINALLY FIXING SOMETHING I SAID WAS A PROBLEM A YEAR AGO–AGAIN

7. What happened tonight?

Um… it’s four in the afternoon here.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

I think it’s disgusting when anybody gets wasted. You aren’t even conscious of whatever fun you might be having and you sure as shit aren’t tasting whatever you’re drinking anymore. Quit that.

9. Is confidence cute?

Only in the context of someone who’s about to get the living shit beaten/embarrassed out of them for being confident against all advice to the contrary (”He’s gonna go punch a tarrasque in the nads! How cute!”). Otherwise confidence is just a good thing and generally rad.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

I just finished my second coke of the day about ten seconds ago and am debating a third.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

“Fully” is the operative word and that number is zero of any sex.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Probably. It’s hard not to get them when you’re at a certain size.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Work, go home, either raid or RP, and sleep. I do that basically every Saturday night.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Ideally a house that isn’t being sold by an idiot, but probably something less interesting like Starbucks.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Hey @dwyndel would you consider what we’re doing “going out”?

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

I mean, I hope so? Growth is important.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My fiance and my mom.

18. The last time you felt broken?

hahaha “last time”

19. Have you had sex today?

hahaha “today” I haven’t gotten laid in years. plural.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

what the hell kinda question is this that’s not something you admit to, that’s a question that answers itself and the answer is either “no” because you aren’t or “yes” because the question made you realize it

21. Are you in a good mood?

Pretty good, yeah

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Yes but I’ll be peeing literally the entire time

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Probably. I got a lot of my looks from him, which aggravates the shit out of me since he’s a terrible person

24. What do you want right this second?

A nap

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

‘Can I watch’‘Were they hot’‘Do they like sharing’‘Your breath smells like infidelity’

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Yep, white streak included

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Probably not, but there’s a huuuuuuge difference between “doesn’t make me laugh” and “does not have a compatible sense of humor with mine.” Some people just aren’t funny. Like me. I’m not funny at all. Jesus am I ever not funny. Wow.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

A fucking Spanish Inquisition reference from Dan Avidan in Game Grumps that I’m still mad at myself for laughing at

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Eh, not really. I don’t have homesickness pangs or people-aren’t-here pangs unless I know I can’t get to them because they’re not in a place where I can go. Otherwise I’d be a sad puppy every time I went to work

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

No. Some people are not worth anyone’s time or effort and often they know it and abuse people’s willingness to forgive or try.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Hatred is hard to pull out of me unless you personally did something really offensive and permanent to me. I get tired of people but I very rarely hate them. The last “boy” (he is very much an adult, calling him “boy” is fuckin’ wierd) I talked to was my supervisor and I rather like Phill

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I am engaged. You tell me.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

Not only did I just say I’m contemplating a third Coke at 4 in the afternoon, I have a bucket to collect pull tabs in for the fiance to make chainmail out of

34. Listening to?

My coworkers chattering in the office around me. I could listen to music if I wanted, but the office headsets suck ass and can’t handle bass of any kind

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Not often. My handwriting is awful and I try not to write by hand at all, but if I do, it’ll probably be in pen

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Either at home or running errands

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Shit no

38. Who did you last call?

Not counting work calls, I try not to call people if I can possibly avoid it. Uhhhhhhh…probably my mom.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

hahaha “dance”

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because she was there and smoochable

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Haven’t had cupcakes in a VERY long time, have had very good muffins from Costco this week though

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

Nope, they live in Virginia and I don’t

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Am I misunderstanding what you do to attract a mate?

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don’t tan.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

Nope, that’s my smooch and I’m keeping it

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Sorta. RP is kinda like talking, right?

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Realtor.

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Not really. If anything I hum; being able to hear myself too well makes me get quieter

49. Do you dance in the car?

Drum stuff out, finger-piano on the steering wheel, occasionally headbang.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Once, and I’d love to again. The first/last time I fired a bow I took ten shots and bullseyed six.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

College. Never doing that shit again.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

That’s sort of the point of them. The question isn’t are they cheesy, it’s are they good.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Of course it is. The only time it’s not is when you’re too young/old to have conscious thoughts, because even young children worry endlessly over what they’re getting or if they’re getting anything or what if santa thinks they were bad

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

I fucking love pierogi but I’ve only ever had the frozen ones from Mrs. T’s, Dwyn and I keep saying we should find time to make some and see how much better it is

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Don’t really do pies of any kind except for French Silk. Fruit pie filling is a wierd texture I don’t really enjoy

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Architect and animator

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Enough to be unsettled late at night by noises I can’t identify, not enough to be unwilling to sleep in an allegedly haunted house

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

All day every day. No joke somedays I wonder if people who think they have psychic powers are just people with really persistent deja vu, it feels like magic

59. Take a vitamin daily?

vitamin coke or vitamin coffee

60. Wear slippers?

Technically the shoes I wore to work today could count as slippers. I call them my crazy-people shoes because they have no shoelaces and no fittings

61. Wear a bath robe?

only when it’s really cold in the house

62. What do you wear to bed?

Nothing

63. First concert?

Blind Guardian at the Pop’s in Chicago when I was 13. It was their first US tour and my parents are boss people who really wanted to humor their kid. People at the show realized this tiny barely-teenager in the back knew every word to every song and pulled me to the front, and there was no barrier between crowd and stage, so I got to lean on the stage and got smirked at by the guitarist. After the show I shook Hansi Kirsch’s hand and got my copy of Imaginations From The Other Side signed. Good times

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target

65. Nike or Adidas?

Neither, they’re both overpriced shit

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts, although I’d rather have cashews

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

I don’t know any taylor swift songs nor do I care

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Nope

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Hadn’t given that one any thought beyond helping her job hunt in the immediate sense. I can see her doing costuming on a professional level eventually, though

71. Can you curl your tongue?

I never know what people mean by this. I can make an “O” shape with my tongue but that’s it, I never figured out that clover shape

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Multiple. I almost went national in …something-before-sixth-grade-because-I-remember-beating-sixth-graders but refused to go because I wanted to stop being stared at (seriously, I just didn’t want to go because I hated being on a stage). I’m sure that frustrated my mom

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

A few times, but not often

74. What is your favorite book?

One of the Discworld novels, but the answer is ever-changing because they’re all pretty goddamn great. Picking one out of a hat, Unseen Academicals is pretty rad just because it’s got such a great take on [thing that spoils the plot if I say it]

75. Do you study better with or without music?

I was not a studying kid, I was a “retains everything as long as nobody stops me from doodling while they’re teaching and it’s not about numbers” kid. Thinking about it I was probably doing some eidetic memorization tricks without realizing it, my fact retention is/was top notch when I cared

76. Regularly burn incense?

Nope, I have over 100 allergies and a lot of them are to plants so I’m not risking that bullshit

77. Ever been in love?

I am engaged to be married right now

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Does Critical Role count?

79. What was the last concert you saw?

H…alestorm? I think? It’s actually been a while

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Hot plz

81. Tea or coffee?

Tea if it’s just the drink itself, coffee if I can put a ton of shit in it so I can only barely taste the actual coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Does Not Contain Raisins

83. Can you swim well?

I can swim, Iunno about well? I’ve never been in danger of drowning for lack of swimming ability, I guess

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

What an interesting question, it hadn’t occurred to me there are people who can’t until now

85. Are you patient?

When I choose to be

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

If it’s affordable and the right band, band. Otherwise DJ and karaoke because HELL YEAH GET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY DRUNK AND LET THEM SING

87. Ever won a contest?

A smattering of spelling bees, a couple art contests, summer reading competitions. Nerd shit, yanno? Although I’ve won those water gun shooting gallery games at Six Flags every time there’s enough people to play, too

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Nope

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Olives are gross

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

It’s sex, who cares

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Living room and/or bedroom

92. Do you want to get married 

I am engaged right now

@theengraver EAT ME

#prompty things #munday #theshadowborn

[lavender-hemlock]

the be honest meme. - ALL OF THEM! -From ya know who.

Breathes. I am going to kill you. Everything of the honesty meme is under the cut you absolute fruitcake @kazexvoss . 

1.     What would prevent you from following someone?

Possibly if that person isnotoriously opinionated and hateful towards any opinion that opposes theirs.That’s about the only preventive thing. Just unbearable and toxic people. 

2.     Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

Sure, I think aesthetics aregreat outlets to demonstrating outside of screenshots and prompts what yourcharacter is about in an array of colors, art, or examples. It’s beautiful.

3.     What current rp trend do you hate? Taken.

4.     How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

Hahah- I don’t, but I would probably compare it to my lovefor literature and writing if I had to. I’m writing stories and adventures.

5.     Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?

I don’t have a preference!

6.     Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

I write female muses because it is simply easier for me to put myshoes in the shoes of a female muse. For obvious reasons I should hope. However,I have written with a male oc in the past. I want to, just haven’t found theright dynamic yet for ffxiv. I had a male Au Ra by the name of Xathun- but nowhe is simply my retainer that brings me stuff he deems is shiny. 

I love himeven if he brings me level 5 rocks.

7.     What’s your opinion on call-out posts?

I think they are both useful topoint out harmful individuals who have harmful or greedy intentions – andharmful because some call-out posts I believe are just posts to continue a potstir off the platform itself or off the drama seeping from another dms. Thereis a time and place for all things.

8.     Name any three things about the rpc that bother you. Taken.

9.     What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?

I think exclusivity iscompletely up to those who choose to practice it. I only practice it on whetherI am comfortable. Very few people can make me feel uncomfortable- but my guthas yet to fail me in this. I will not RP with anyone who makes meuncomfortable or if they are just looking for ERP. I’m not about it.

10.   Have you everhad a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or assomeone who buys them?

I have not had a bad experiencewith commissions. I really need to seek out one.

11.   What do youknow now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started? Taken.

12.   Have you beeninvolved in drama? Do you regret it?

In this community, I have onlybeen involved in one instance. It was during my first few months joining FFXIV,super early on. A RPer tried to guilt trip me for not responding to them forone day. One day caused a lot of drama from someone else’s greed and possessivenature.

I don’t regret it. It just demonstrated another example for me to be wary of everyone’s intentions. Unfortunately. It isthat split-second decision that you want to think the best in everyone that brings the failure. Oops.

13.   Have you everthought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

I probably considered leavingRP when I was leaving a forum base that I had invested eleven or so years of mylife into. I had grown so much through it and watched as it died out bit by bitonly for trolls to really remain. None of the inspiration was there and noone truly seemed passionate about anything but bars. Taverns. 

I changed my mind when I joinedFFXIV. At first I played the game because it was something to do. I wasbored and things were dying down for me. I have loved the FF series for such along time, so I thought, why not? Screw the pay wall. I just played through AtRealm Reborn and focused that down in a binge. Over time I got the itch Iwanted to write, and that had propelled me right into the RP crew in Siren.Then that branched onto the Tumblr. Creating my blog has led me to meet such wonderful people along the way. 

14.   Do you think rphas had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

Positive for sure. RP helped meduring the years I was unsure who I wanted to be, what I wanted to express, andhelped me communicate more when I said so little. I was so much moreintroverted, and the writing RP brought was so uplifting.

The character, Haine, I madeyears ago is a force in my life that influenced my traits as a role model. She’llalways have a special place in my heart.

15.   How has rpchanged you personally?

I suppose this builds on thelast question, huh?

Without finding RP as anoutlet, I don’t think I would have been ready to embrace what I could be.Things could have been far worse in my life, and I like to think some of thetraits I had crafted Haine to be throughout the years helped me remain true towho I should be rather than what everyone wanted me to be- or knock me down tobe.

16.   If you couldchange one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

I don’t think I want to changeanything- I would just want to encourage others to write and express themselvesmore in their outlets. Which can be writing, drawing, aesthetics. You do you.The passion is my favorite thing to see in others.

17.   Have you eversent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

No. Why would anyone do that?

18.   Have you eversent hate to yourself on anon? Why?

Why… would anyone do that? Arethey okay?

19.   Do you deleteanon hate or post and address it? Why?

I am content to say I havenever received anon hate. Yet.

20.   Have you everfelt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

No. I refuse to put myself inthat position.

21.   Have you everfollowed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to? Taken.

22.   What would makeyou block someone?

I try to avoid blocking becauseI believe most things can be recovered- because if I put you on that block list,I am never looking at it. You’re gone. You must be very toxic to get put there-or annoying. There was that one guy…

23.   Have you everstolen something from someone else?

Does luck count? Because Iswear I stole someone’s luck once and it was the funniest thing I had everwitnessed.

24.   Have you everhad something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

Yes. I’ve had the alias Hainefor over ten years. I carried that name from my old RP community and thisperson that I used to call a good friend disappeared. She came back under a newname, and then I went on a hiatus. I come back, she’s going as the name “Haine.”She pretended she was just an anonymous person and not the friend I always knewbut playing stupid never was her skill.

I was… indifferent at first.Yet, it felt like a part of me was being violated. I knew her. It hurt. I hadmade Haine as this love child of my creativity. I tried to be reasonable butthen this person began to start discourse so it would go. “Did Haine do this?” “Whydid Haine do that?” It was confusing to always say “It was the other one.” Whenoften duplicate alias’ were not typical.

It was upsetting to say theleast, and after a while, as above it as I like to be- I started getting prettyangry. It was never pretty. I can regret a bit of it.

25.   Are you open toduplicates? Why / why not?

As in duplicates acrossservers? I do that! I had stared on Siren originally before I made a characteron Balmung before world visit opened up. I think duplicates are helpful in caseyou want to keep your strong attachments in both data centers.

26.   How do you feelabout vague posting?

Vague… posting?

27.   Do you followpeople even if they don’t follow you back?

Of course! Someone I followdoes not have to follow me back. I love their content and I want to stay tuned!That is the entire point! If they follow back, it is just equally delighting.

28.   Do you readpeople’s rules before following or interacting?

If they have rules, yes. Ithink it is very important to have OOC communication to express what you willallow or what you find inappropriate.

29.   What is youropinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

I don’t.. understand.

30.   How have youresponded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Doyou use it at all?

I don’t follow tumblr trends enough toknow?

31.   Is theresomething you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone becauseyou think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something youhad to ask someone to explain?

OH! I think I did this once. Beingnew on Tumblr awhile back, I did not understand a lot of things. So some of theterms was lost on me. I think I remember asking what on earth a “mun” was. Itwas lost on me.

32.   Have you everexperienced discrimination?

Yeah.

33.   How do you feelabout personal blogs following your rp blog?

The more the merrier! I thinkthat makes it more flattering to see. It makes me think that something on myblog had to be nice for someone to want to keep up on their personal blog.

34.   Have you evercried while writing a reply?

Oh go- Yes. Recently. The plot lines that make me feel things are the best kind. Happy, excited, nervous, bittersweet, thrilled. I love it. 

35.   Do you readother people’s threads or do you only read your own?

I read other people’s threads,and my own. I read mine several times because I figure it can be better. I love reading thewriting of others.

36.   What’s onething that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you? Taken.

37.   How do you feelabout tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what istriggering content and what isn’t?

I don’t feel anything for themor tag them.

38.   What advicewould you give to someone new to rp?

 Embrace what you want to be and do not divert from what youare comfortable with. Feel free to go to public places and watch others work.If I know the person who is new to RP I would usually offer to be their partnerto get them into the cadence.

This exhausted me. I felt things throughout this journey of asks, and through it all I give to you- 

#honesty meme #TAPROMPTS #hell

[december-girl06]

You wanna find out some personal shit?

The best future university professor @rafaelina-casillas asked me to answer these and what else can I say except thank you for wanting to know more about me even though I’m not really interesting (and you already know quite a lot) <3 <3 <3

1. Any scars? - One at the corner of my right eye from when I fell when i was very young and one on my hand which is now barely visible.

2. Self harmed? - No, never.

3. Crush? - I’ve had some of course but they were long ago, nothing recent.

4. Kissed anyone? - If we’re talking about a romantic kiss with a guy that I like a lot, no.

5. Coke or Pepsi? - Both, depends on what I’m in the mood for.

6. Someone you hate? - Not hate but dislike and unfortunately there are a lot of famous people as well as fandoms in general.

7. Best Friends? - Actually my two bestest friends are @mas-lina and @rafaelina-casillas <3 <3 <3

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? - I’ve drank all types of alcohol but I don’t like it that much, my favourite is wine. As for drugs I’ve never tried them and I don’t want to.

9. What’s your dream job? - Chocolatier or a baker (how romantic of me but also very unlikely for me to become).

10. Ever been in love? - No, I’ve only had crushes.

11. Last time you cried? - A few months ago.

12. Favorite color? - Pink (how original of me).

13. Height? - 5′2′‘ or 5′3′‘ I’m not sure anymore.

14. Birthday? - It’s in December.

15. Eye color? - Brown (someone told me it’s hazelnut brown).

16. Hair color? - Also brown (I’m pretty ordinary but I actually like it).

17. What do you love? - Listening to music, making up stories in my head, watching my favourite artists perform, taking walks, playing with animals, rain, chocolate.

18. Obsession? - Right now my biggest obsession is MONSTA X, they’re awesome and I have sooo much content that I just keep falling deeper and deeper into them <3

19. If you had one wish, what would it be? - Cliched as it might be, world peace.

20. Do you love someone? - My family & friends, MONSTA X & BIGBANG

21. Kiss or hug? - I don’t mind either if it’s coming from someone I love.

22. Nicknames people call you? - The most used one is “baby” even if I’m anything but one.

23. Favorite song? - I don’t have just one favourite song but my favourite MONSTA X song is All In.

24. Favorite band? - MONSTA X & BIGBANG (that must be painfully obvious by now xD)

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? - I had an awful case of anxiety throughout the years I was in high-school so I hate that period of my life the most.

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? - From what has happened until now I can’t choose just one but I hope the best thing that will happen in the near future is the dream vacation I’m planning for next year.

27. Something you would change about yourself? - My appearance and also my anxiety & stress levels which are so hard for me to keep in check.

28. Ever dated someone? - No.

29. Worst mistake? - Lying to my parents for a few things throughout the years, they weren’t that huge of a deal but still it caused me a lot of stress.

30. Watch the movie or read the book? - I’d rather read the book but I haven’t been reading much at all lately so just watching the movie is the norm.

31. Ever had a heartbreak? - Not really.

32. Favorite show? - LOST has a really special place in my heart, I also love Sherlock but mainly I watch crime shows or shows about baking.

33. Best day of your life? - It hasn’t happened yet.

34. Any talents? - I was pretty good at acting when I was younger, I’m also not bad at playing tennis. For more abstract talents I’m actually very good at judging people.

35. Do you wish you could ever start over? - Yes, pretty much every day.

36. Any bad habits? - Not that many but I’m working on them.

37. Ever had a near death experience? - No as far as I can remember.

38. Someone I can tell anything to? - My friends.

39. Ever lost a loved one? - Not for now but I guess it’s inevitable in the future.

40. Do you believe in love? - At the moment not really but maybe someone will prove me wrong.

41. Someone you hate/dislike? - I dislike a lot of the current celebrities because to me it feels like mediocrity is being celebrated and overhyped instead of real talent and originality which pisses me off.

42. Are you okay? - Not really, I feel pretty stressed but hopefully it will pass soon.

43. Relationship status? - Single af.

44. Selfie? - I’ve barely taken any selfies ever and I really hate it so I’ll just post a gif of MONSTA X’s cute baby Changkyun who I utterly adore and love<3 <3 <3

#tag game #me #personal #answered

[awolspaceman]

how my dysphoria manifests i guess

just gonna warn u right here: this is gonna get in depth talking about dysphoria. if that triggers you, keep scrolling and have a lovely damn day! (also, i anticipate that this is going to get l o n g)

so i’ve seen a ton of shit coming from tucutes about how us “nasty horrible transmeds believe you need to despise yourself to be trans!!!!!!! they’re so harmful to the trans community!!!!!!!” so i just wanna dispel some of those myths. please keep in mind that i’m one person and my experience is totally not universal. i have trans friends who do hate themselves due to dysphoria, and i have friends who aren’t super dysphoric but still experience gender dysphoria. it’s a varied experience. here’s mine. 

i don’t hate my body. if we add up all the things i like/love about my body and then subtract everything i don’t like, we still end up with a positive. i got blessed by the genetics from my parents that i have a relatively masculine face, as well as a pretty pronounced adams apple by female standards. i have really nice eyes in my opinion, and i have some of the thickest eyebrows that i know of. so yeah, i got a masculine face. 

i am very unlucky with the rest of my body. from the neck down, here’s some of the things i like about myself: my collarbones, my shoulders, my hands, my arms, my calves, and my feet. those are all pretty masculine if you ask me. i’m 5′7 and wear US men’s size 9 shoes, and i’m a broad dude (my dad is disappointed in me for one reason and it’s that i don’t competitively swim). unfortunately, i’ve got a big chest. i don’t just have a big chest by trans guy standards, i have a big chest by female standards (if you wanted to put me in a size i’d be a 36 DD, which means i have a bulky ribcage and an even bulkier chest). i’m never perfectly flat while binding, and trust me, i’ve tried on a lot of binders. i live in sweatshirts. i’m also pretty damn curvy, with a smaller waist and thick thighs (mostly muscle, but it still makes me fairly hourglass). apart from my shoulders (which are probably the reason i don’t have that “perfect” hourglass figure thing), i have a super feminine build. that’s just how it be. we’re not even gonna talk about bottom dysphoria because i think you get how my entire body is contradicting itself.

so how does my dysphoria manifest, i hear you asking. my dysphoria is this weird thing that never really goes away. however, it’s not complete and total self hatred. let’s use the shower i took tonight as an example. when i look at myself naked, my body doesn’t register my feminine “bits” as mine. seriously. my brain cannot comprehend that my chest is a part of me. it cannot comprehend my lack of penis, so its circuits overload and i just feel... nothing about it. that feeling of nothingness is then replaced with a similar feeling to touching raw meat. just kind of “huh, that’s weird and kind of gross. i’d like this to be over as quick as possible, please and thank you.” i’m currently sitting in bed, and my chest is pressing into my stomach slightly. i’m not constantly focusing on it (yes, it’s physically uncomfortable, but it’s not making my dysphoria make me want to die), but in the back of my mind, the “ew raw meat” feeling is constantly running. not a fun time. my brain would like to be rid of that feeling as soon as possible. problem is, i’m kinda stuck with it. no matter how much i bind and how much pointless youtube i watch, it’s always there and isn’t going to go away until after i’ve had surgery. 

you know those cursed images that make you go “yeeeeeeeeesh, that’s n a s t y oh god it gets nastier the more i look”? yeah, that “ewwwwwwwww” feeling is the feeling i get. it just feels wrong, and i sure would like it to feel right. do i feel this way all the time? pretty much, unless i’m super distracted, which i try and do all the time. does my dysphoria get to debilitating self-hate sometimes? yeah. lemme explain, with a few choice excerpts from my life. 

this was june, 2018. not that long ago. i needed some sports bras so i could work out, go on long road trips, etc, without binding dangerously or for too long. let’s just say, buying high support sports bras for people with large chests is.... difficult. so, since my mum is a Saint and understands how my dysphoria works, we measured me and bought stuff online. when the stuff came in, there was a return deadline, so i needed to make sure it fit. this is where my dysphoria becomes near debilitating. i ended up sobbing in my room and writing in a small journal i had about how horrible i felt, and this is the gist of what i remember: i want a knife to cut off my chest. i dont care how painful it will be, i just need it GONE. 

i’m on a medication called norethindrone. it stops ovulation and therefore, i don’t get my period (its a fucking blessing. i gained a little weight with it but it’s not too bad, no heavy mood swings, and so if ur a trans dude who wants to stop your periods, check in with your primary doctor about it! they can prescribe it to you, you don’t need to be in gender therapy or anything). however, my natural hormones overloaded it once, about a year ago almost to the day. i got my period for the first time in four months (i had only been on the medication for about that long), and it was hell. i was having more cramps than i had ever had, and my dysphoria was just skyrocketing. i’d had the privilege of not menstruating for a while, and so i’d gotten used to it, and wasn’t prepared for the mental toll of my medication failing. it was horrible.

tomorrow, i’m going into the city with my parents to meet with some people to talk about freezing my eggs. it’s the one thing i need to figure out before i start HRT, so hopefully we figure it all out rather quickly (testosterone is on the horizon babey!!!!! we’re talkin like hopefully under a year until i can start it but idk). however, the thought of even talking about my uterus makes me feel sick. my brain refuses to acknowledge that i have it, so forcing it to acknowledge a part of me i try hard to ignore is 1. exhausting and 2. really distressing. talking about it with my parents made me dysphoric, and when this special flavor of my dysphoria rears its ugly head, i swear i can feel my internal organs shifting with discomfort. so, yeah, my dysphoria gets pretty nasty. 

so let’s just review. personally, my dysphoria manifests as this weird thing my brain cant quite comprehend but definitely does not enjoy, and sometimes it spikes to those self-hating, “everything about me sucks and i want to die” levels, but those are normally induced by me getting deadnamed or misgendered or i’m forced to think about aspects of my body that i work hard to ignore. this is my experience and i’m allowed to share it. not everyone’s is like mine, but i think maybe, just maybe, one person who sides with tucute ideology will read this and maybe, just maybe, they’ll change their mind about the “horrible self-hating transmed ideology” that other tucutes talk about and demonize. 

have a nice night y’all. get some sleep and eat breakfast tomorrow.

#trans #transmed #truscum #dysphoria #gender dysphoria #tw: dysphoria #trans discourse #lgbt #lgbt discourse

[masonjar828]

So this is in response to an ask me thing I reblogged. Thanks @kylorenpunk for once again making me do them all 😂 but I ain’t no quitter so let’s begin shall we.

1. Selfie; as seen above

2. What would you name your future kids?; If I could have sole control of naming my kids, I’d go with Zephyr for a girl and Red Nalloh for a boy. I always liked the word zephyr and I like the palindrome name that would come from naming my son that.

3. Do I miss anyone?; I recently moved to the west coast and left a lot of close friends behind so I miss each of them every day.

4. What am I looking forward to?; I recently interviewed for a job I’m pretty excited about so I’m really looking forward to hearing new news from them!

5. Is there anyone who can make me smile?; Legit anyone who ever says or does a kind thing to me I will think about from time to time with a little grin.

6. Is it hard for me to get over someone?; I don’t have too much experience needing to do so but I feel like it takes me a normal amount of time to get back on the level after being with someone 😂😅

7. What was my life like last year?; I was a senior in college man...life was a ball of stress and sleep deprevation for months.

8. Have I ever cried from annoyance?; Not really. It honestly takes a lot to make me cry usually. BUT! Show me something with heartwarming feels and a tear or two will always come.

9. Who did I last see in person?; My aunt while we were watching a movie.

10. Am I good at hiding my feelings?; Maybe? I feel like I am but I also know my poker face is garbage so I could be suckish at hiding my feelings too haha.

11. Am I listening to music right now?; Yes! The new Greatest Showman Reimagined album and it’s utterly amazing!

12. What is something I want right now?; I want more than anything rn to hear back from some job somewhere because I’m so in need of a post-college job 😂😅

13. How to I feel right now?; Bit of a headache and fairly tired but overall pretty happy! Listening to the rain outside helps.

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged me?; About 20min ago when I said goodnight to my aunt lol.

15. Personality description; I feel the best way to describe my personality is a hyperactive ball of music and useless facts who usually does anything to help my friends, usually at the expense of my sanity at times 😂

16. Have I ever wanted to tell someone something but I didn’t?; There was a time where I desperately wanted to take a risk of telling one of my closest friends just how I truly felt about her but didn’t because I didn’t want to risk ruining the friendship that meant too much to me.

17. Opinion on insecurities; They are a thing everyone experiences and should never be judged on, but I do feel like the only way to truly become better as a person is to actively work to identify and try to work on overcoming or coming to terms with them.

18. Do I miss how things were a year ago?; The constant stress, absolutely not. The friends I got to see daily and never get to see and rarely talk to anymore, all the goddamn time.

19. Have I ever been to New York?; State, yes. City, also yes. Went this past summer to see Hamilton live and my god it was one of the best shows I’ve ever experienced! ☺️

20. Favorite song at the moment?; Hardest question in the world to ask me since I listen to and love so many so songs at once. The one currently stuck in my head is Zac Brown Bands version of From Now On from the Greatest Showman Reimagined soundtrack.

21. Age and birthday; 22 and August 28th

22. Description of crush; No crushes at the current moment but I usually like women a tad shorter than me, with amazing eyes, and a personality that is fun and nerdy so we can make stupid puns and jokes to each other.

23. Fears; Only one real one and it’ll always be snakes. Fuck those venomous and scaly bastards.

24. Height; Like 5’9”-5’10”ish I think?

25. Role model; My dad for sure. He is one of the most loving and caring people I know who can be outright terrifying if he needs to be.

26. Idols; I’m not really the type to idolize anyone tbh 😅 I feel like idolization can be a tad unhealthy.

27. Things I hate; The thing I hate most in the world (apart from snakes, fuck snakes) would have to be the sound of silence (not the song I love the song). Silence weirds me the hell out and I’m not about it.

28. I’ll love you if...; I’ll basically love you if you just show you genuinely care for me and have my best interest at heart. If you do that I’ll basically fight for you til the very end.

29. Favorite films; Star Wars for a series, Airplane! for a individual movie.

30. Favorite tv shows; Brooklynn 99 is my current binge. Others tend to be Star Trek: Next Generation, Cosmos (think this is considered tv), Friends, Avatar, The Last Airbender, etc lol.

31. 3 random facts; About me I’m guessing? I can solve a Rubik’s cube in about 30sec. I can sing the lyrics to literally each and every track from the Hamilton soundtrack. And I can bake recipe for cookies I’ve had friends literally fight over blindfolded if I have the ingredients all lined out first.

32. Are my friends mainly girls or guys?; Girls mostly. Guys tend to annoy the hell out of me most of the time. Even my best friend in the world can annoy the shit out of me fairly easily 😂😅

33. Something I want to learn; How to play literally any instrument. At all. I have wanted to learn for ages but I am just not good with instruments at all.

34. Most embarrassing moment; I tend to repress my embarrassing moments a lot so the first one that comes to mind is when I was talking shit about a professors godawful and stupid teaching method after being given a test he taught us like 30% of and turning around to see him 10ft away and definitely hearing what I said 😐

35. Favorite subject; Any math or chemistry really. #chemicalengineeringlife

36. 3 dreams I want to fulfill; Fairly easy I think. Find success in an area near my family so I can stay close with them after years of being unable to. Find a partner who I can be happy with the rest of my life. And be financially stable to never need to stress about living day to day.

37. Favorite actor/actress; Actor I think Chris Pratt. Actress Anna Kendrick.

38. Favorite comedian; John Mulaney without hesitation.

39. Favorite sport; Tennis. Can’t play it for years and not love it.

40. Favorite memory; Ooh hard one. I think it would have to be the time my family went camping to a place in the middle of Nowhere, Nevada when I was younger and I was able to see each and every star in the sky like I had never been able to before. It made me start to love space and science as a whole looking into that beautiful endless abyss.

41. Favorite book; Hate this because I love reading so so much and it’s like having to choose a favorite child. I think the one I most often reread would have to be The Hobbit though.

42. Favorite song ever; Bohemian Rhapsody I would guess counts the most since it’s the one I will always go back to and enjoy. (Also if you haven’t seen Bohemian Rhapsody the movie yet it’s insanely entertaining and I recommend it hard)

43. Age I get mistaken for; With the beard grown out some age definitely mid-20s, without the beard I’ve been called 18 or younger multiple occasions.

44. How I found out about my idol; See idol question above.

45. What my last text message says; “Goodnight”, sent to a friend I was talking to as they were very close to passing out.

46. Turn ons; If you’re able to engage with me on an intellectual level and be able to just be fun and goofy with me.

47. Turn offs; Trump supporters, Naxi sympathizers, and people who refuse to accept scientific evidence for things like vaccines and climate change.

48. Where I want to be right now; In bed, which luckily I am! 😝

49. Favorite picture of my idol; See idol question above.

50. Starsign; Virgo I believe.

51. Something I’m talented at; Random useless fact storage to be used at bar trivia nights.

52. 5 things that make me happy; Being with family, listening to good music, reading a good book, baking something delicious, and long drives with deep talks with friends.

53. Something worrying me at the moment; Not getting the nice job I interviewed for after the interview going as awesome as it did.

54. Tumblr friends; I have a few friends who have tumblrs like @kylorenpunk, @thepunmaster3000, and @be-inspirational-to-others. Though any mutuals I have I would love to become more friendly with so please feel free to send me a message sometime 😂😋

55. Favorite food; Probably chicken Alfredo I think.

56. Favorite animasl; Dolphins and tortoises 🐬🐢

57. Description of best friend; Tall dude with a short trimmed beard. Musically talented in basically any instrument I can think of. Movie lover to the point of almost insanity. Funny dude who also calls me out on my extremely dumb jokes and puns all the goddamn time.

58. Why I joined tumblr; I was told about it by a friend when I needed to vent a lot and she had me make one. Vented very rarely but enjoyed the weirdness of the site.

59. Ask me anything you want (I’m guessing for who asked me this); @kylorenpunk, why the hell do you make me always do all of these? 😂😅 I don’t mind but lord does it take forever to type all this junk out.

#ask post #lots of answers #selfie #for the first time on this site I think #mutuals #feel free to message me sometime #just not these questions again #😅

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

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Hi!~ you can just call me Alex, please!~ I would like to be anon if that is ok lol the fandoms I want are A3!, Haikyuu!!, and Naruto! 🥰 SFW and NSFW is alright with me! 😉 whatever is comfortable lol

Alright so, intro info! I’m a Capricorn sun, Sagittarius moon and Virgo Ascendant. My modality is Cardinal 53%, Fixed 37%, Mutable 11%. My elements are Earth 51%, Water 36%, Fire 10% and Air 3%. My MBTI is INFJ. I’m also a HuffleClaw with a bit of Slytherin. I have was born with Turner Syndrome. I have ADHD, Autism, Anxiety and Depression. I am agender and I use they/them pronouns though she/her are alright since I’m used to those pronouns lol I am still exploring my sexuality, I am very open dating anyone of any gender so I would say I’m bi/panromantic, however I do strongly connect with the asexual spectrum since trust is a big deal for me lol

I had a coarctation or narrowing of the arota at 6 days old and was pronounced dead on the way to Children’s Hospital. I had open heart surgery soon afterwards. My grandmother was told that with all the mental health issues I could have due to TS, I could be super smart or I wouldn’t even be able to remember my own name. The doctor’s said I would be bad at math. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my little brother was 6. Both of them remarried, my dad once and our mol several times. Though, I won’t go more into that lol just to save you the details, our grandparents raised us and life was -is- really messy ahah

I’m currently going to college. I was supposed to graduate last semester, but I changed my major several times in the last 2 years lol 😂😂 I was a biology major and wanted to work in marine bio/ wildlife conservation and start my own rehab places for marine/terrestrial mammals. I am now a Middle School Education major with areas of concentration in science and language arts with a minor in TESL ( Teaching English as a Second Language). I want to teach English in Japan! 😊 As far as grade school, I always made As/Bs witout even trying and I loved to read, so much so that I got an award for it in 5th grade! I was quiet yet loud and super awkward as a kid 🤣🤣 I actually loved science a lot and even took AP courses until highschool because the teacher I would have taken in highschool was a really bad teacher who if he had family members and didn’t like them, he wouldn’t like you. He taught my father and his sister and didn’t like them, so least to say young and impressionable me noped out of that fast 😂😂

For a while, I wanted to be a Forensic Antropologist like Temeperance from Bones! 😊 however, we didn’t have a anthro major at my college, only chem lol so, when I started taking upper level courses, I quickly found I much prefer bio to chem 🤣🤣 I still dislike math as I have my whole life, but since I got to college, I’ve only made below a B in one math related course! 🥰

Ok sorry for a lot of random info 🤣🤣 onto other things! So, I’m very shy and quiet at first, but when I get comfortable around someone, that’s when the wierd comes out 🤣 I’m very passionate about education and science! I am a Christian and am very passionate about equality. I also firmly believe in redistributing millionare/billionares’ wealth.

I grew up watching anime and still love it to this day. I have strong connection with Japanese culture because anime was the gateway into learning about it and anime will always have a special place in my heart because of it! Japanese culture and really most if not all Asian cultures resonate with me because of the morals anime had taught me. I firmly believe in balance and hamrony with nature! I was introduced to kpop in middle school and have been a fan ever since lol 🤣 I also like pop/alternative music lol I like P!NK, Linkin Park, Adele and a few others lol

As I mention with wanting to be a marine biologist, I really love animals!~ 💕💜 my favs are otters, foxes, cats of all kinds, dogs, wolves, dolphins, and honey badgers! I currently have a Korat named Lila (li-lah like lilac) she is a very unique cat 🤣 she’s super curious and sorta a crackhead lol I did have a yorkie terrier named Sarah and a miniature schnauzer named Star, but since last June, we had to put both of them down 🥺 Sarah got cancer suddenly late last year and a few months ago Star had congestive heart failure. They were 13 and 14 respectively. They were amazing dogs! Sarah loved to swim and hunt little creatures and was the energetic one while Star was the grouchy old lady 🤣🤣

I also love anything fantasy/superhero! I love HP, LOTR, and Marvel! My fav genre of anime is shounen obvi lol 🤣Lol I also love learning other languages! I took French in highschool and two semester of Mandarin in college lol ( I need to brush up on both 🤣🤣) I am currently trying to learn Japanese! I wanna also learn Korean, Welsh, and Irish! I hope to go teach English in Japan via the JET program at my college! 🥰 I will more than likely stay in Japan after I stay the 5 max years through the JET program!

I also really love video games! I wanna play Persona 5 soo bad 🤣🤣 Horzon: Zero Dawn, the Legend of Zelda series, the Pokemon series and Animal Crossing: New Horizons are some of my favorites lol

Hmmm… what else to say? 🤣 I am typically the mom friend of the group ahaha oh! I am 4’9” and weigh 140 so I’m kinda chubby 😅 I am very self concious about my body. I have green eyes and I wear small, black rectangular glasses. I have moles and freckles all over my body. I have a dyed blonde bob with a brunnette undercut. I don’t have any piercings yet but I do have one tattoo on my inner left ankle!

I am stubborn, passionate, caring, empathetic, understanding, loving, loud, quiet, awkward, hyper, enthusiastic, curious, and I can procrastinate at times due to my ADHD lol I also love to have plans lol I like things to be organized and clean, but I don’t mind ‘organized chaos’ sometimes lol I am also very loyal to my friends. I prefer having a few super close friends than having tons of aquaintances.

Ok so dating lol um I’ve never actually dates anyone before 🙈 I’m also a virgin lol trust is a big issue for me, like aforementioned my parents divorce affected me a lot and I have a strained relationship with each of them due to the divorce and the events over the years afterwards. Plus, as a Capricorn, school/career is my main focus. I’m so busy with college and trying to figure myself out, I haven’t got time for dating ahaha so my irl soulmate will need to be a hell of a person and have the patience of a saint to deal with me 🤣

Even though I have never been in a relationship, out of curiousity and wanting to be knowledgeable, I have researched BDSM lol 😂 I am definitely not into slave/master, whipping, or anything super hardcore at all lol though, mild stuff like toys, handcuffs, spanking, biting, dirty talk, brat/tamer or daddy (mommy)/ little girl and blindfolds would be stuff I’m willing to try out lol basically, some light pain, toys and anything where I can be submissive and cast my cares away while still being able to be sassy/defiant suits me 🤣

Oh! For the purposes of this matchup, just male characters is fine lol like I said, I’m still trying to figure myself out so, for simplicities sake, assuming heteronorms is alright lol

Hmm as far as a type of guy I like, I can give you some anime examples 😂 Portgas D. Ace from One Piece, Itachi/Kakashi/Shikamaru from Naruto, Roy Mustang (also shoutout to Solf J. Kimblee as a guilty mention 🤣) from FMA!B, Kisuke Urahara from Bleach, Zuko/Sokka fron ATLA, Gintoki/Kamui/Takasugi/Shinpachi/Hijikata/Katsura from Gintama, Daisuke Kanbe from The Millionare Detective- Balance:Unlimited, Shinso Hitoshi/Shindo Yo from BNHA/MHA, Levi/Beel from Obey Me!, Itaru/Omi/Sakyo/Misuki/Tsuzuru/Kazunari/Banri from A3! And many more 🤣🤣 sorry for the long list lol basically to sum it up my type is kinda laid back, a lil perverted, confident, dominant, funny, teasing/flirty, caring, intellgent, mysterious, passionate and stubborn lol

Well, I hope that was enough info to get a good in depth matchup 🤣🤣 I feel like I gave too much but I wanna try to make it as detailed for y’all as possible so you can have an easier time with the matchup ahah thanks a lot, I love your blog and keep doing the good work you are doing! 🥰❤️💜💕 be sure to take care of yourselves and I hope y’all have a great weekend!! 🥰

( I apologize for sending it a second time, but there was some stuff I wanted to add that I forgot to mention until I after I sent in the first one 😭 again, I sincerely apologize!)

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Hello Alex and thank you for submitting with us! And thank you for supporting us! I hope you enjoy the boys I paired you with!

>Admin 𝕋

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𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

I choose Kiba to be your Naruto boyfriend! when he first sees you, and how quiet and shy you are, Kiba will definitely want to bring your inner playfulness out! And when he sees that you do have some playfulness in you, he will see that you became comfortable enough around him that your inner weird came out! And that would really pull at Kiba’s heartstrings! Kiba will also find it fascinating that you like different types of culture, and how the world works via science and education! He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he will definitely appreciate how you think, since he wants harmony in the world too! He will love the fact that you love animals and he will love the fact that you want to be a marine biologist! Being an animal lover himself, he will marry you right on the spot, just for that!

Since you are the mom friend of the group, you can totally take care of Kiba! It might not be the best, but Kiba would really love and appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do stuff for him, even if he didn’t ask for it! He will love your buddy, it being curvy and easy to hold onto, if you know what I mean wink wink. He will find your little beauty marks to be charming and I see him poking your moles and freckles every so often when he is bored! And when you tell him that you want to get tattoos, hell yeah! He will want to be there for when you get your first one!

Kiba will love the fact that you are passionate about your studies, and you main focus is school and your career! He will love the fact that you are don’t want anyone to mess up your future, and where you want to go in life! He may be a bit on the impatient side, but when he is with you, he will understand the need for patience and why it is important! He will also love the fact that you are so loyal to your friends! He doesn’t want to date anybody who isn’t loyal or isn’t compassionate to the people around them, so that will definitely be a plus in your book!

For the spicy stuff, Kiba at first would not know what he is doing but once he figures it out, ho boy, you are in a for a treat! Biting, lots of biting, and him being just very dominant, wanting to please you and make you feel like you are on cloud nine! He will let you do what you want, if it means that you are going to like what you guys do in the bedroom! From the biting to the dirty talk, he is up for anything!

I choose Sakyo to be your A3! boyfriend! Sakyo will see your shy and quiet persona and think nothing much of it, but once you get comfortable around him, enough so that your inner weirdness comes out to play, he will be surprised that you were hiding such a fun and cheerful person away from him! He will also like the fact that you are passionate about science and education, since Sakyo himself is definitely one to go to science for something that can’t be explained, and he is one to like education too, since it gives you wisdom on subjects you didn’t know about before! He will love the fact that you love his culture so much, from the anime to the actual history of Japan. He will feel that you super educated on the subject, and will be appreciative of how much you love where he is from! 

Sakyo will find it adorable that you love animals, and he find it admirable that you want to become a marine biologist! It is a hard job, learning about all kinds of animals, and then discovering new ones! Yeah he will find it very impressive! And if you were to ever tell him that you want a dog or some kind of really cute animal, he will never able to say no to you! So you should use that to your advantage! As for video games, he isn’t one for the, but if you ever try to get him to play with you, he will have a hard time saying no! It will frustrate him though, that you’d keep beating him at all of them!

As for appearances, I feel Sakyo wouldn’t care about what you like, it’’s all about what is on the inside, and when he sees that you are a passionate, loving, caring, a mother figure to your friends, loyal to them, and empathetic to the people around you, he will just know that you are the person for him! Seriously, yeah he might like your curvy body, but what will really give make him like you is the fact that you are just a really nice person for people to be around! He will definitely understand the sentiment of having just a few close friends, than having like twenty acquaintances.

Sakyo will love the fact that you’d rather focus on your studies than have a boyfriend that could distract you from your future career! He would be glad to wait for you to accept him, until you are stable in your career and would be able to start dating you like he wants! And for a little spicy time, he would be a dominant as all hell. Like he would be so into dirty talk and taking you to heaven with his mouth. You might tell him you want to some like spanking and biting, and he might be into the biting, but the spanking makes him feel a little weird, so he might do it as often. But! If you ask, him he will have no reason to say no! So you better have fun with him!

I choose Iwaizumi as your Haikyuu boyfriend! Much like Sakyo, Iwaizumi will see you shy and timid demeanor and think nothing of it, and if anything, he will think it is kind of cute, but would have an inkling that you are more than you put out. And once Iwaizumi sees that, yes, you are more than shy, that you have your weird quirks and can be quite loud, he will find you even more cute, what with the way you act around him and not the others! He will find it so cute that you only act like that with him and nobody else! And much like Sakyo, he will find it awesome that you like his culture so much! From the anime to the language, and everything else! He would even offer to help you learn the language and such, to help you better understand his culture! Iwaizumi love the fact that you like superheroes and practically anything fantasy! I suspect that Iwaizumi also love Marvel and such! I also feel like Iwaizumi is extremely good at video games, so when he plays with you, make sure you try your best to win against him!

Iwaizumi will feel a bond with you being like the mom friend, since he has to constantly watch over Oikawa like he is his child! And for appearances, much like Kiba, I feel as though Iwaizumi will see your blemishes and your curvy body and think it is just uniquely you! Something that he associates with you alone! And the uniqueness will definitely get him to really like you! But I feel like he will really like girls in glasses so that is a definite plus for you!

Iwaizumi will love the fact, like the others, that you are a loving and caring person. Someone that is passionate and driven! And the fact that you have all your plans thought out and organized in your own way? Oh yeah, he would definitely like that! And the fact that you are so passionate about your future that you’d much rather focus on that instead of being in a relationship! He’d understand, would he hate that fact that he has to wait for you to be stable in your career? Yes, he wouldn’t like it one bit, but he wouldn’t leave you because of it! Will he wait for you? Most definitely!

For the spicy stuff, ahahahaha Iwaizumi. He is like. A dominant bottom, he’s okay with essentially whatever you want to do, as long you both are having a good time, and you guys are feeling good! As for the biting and the spanking and all the kinky things you want to try out, he’d be into it, he’d just wouldn’t know how to go about it, so it would be a learning experience for the both of you! In the end, Iwaizumi would be into a lot of things you guys tried! So beware what he has in store for you in the future!

#submission #submissions #matchup #anime matchups #haikyuu matchup #naruto matchup #A3! matchup #A3! x you #A3! #haikyuu!! #Haikyuu!! x you #naruto #naruto x you

[devonrunning]

Jack & Jill Marathon Training Week 12: Step Back & Relax

Note: Week 12 was June 11-17. I did not run the marathon due to an injury suffered in week 15 of training, but I want to post these training recaps I had written for posterity. Once I catch up, I'll share all about my injury and what's next. In the meantime, you can get up to speed on Instagram @dev.on.running.

After running nearly 56 miles last week, it felt good to have a step-back week where I only ran about 40. My easy runs felt nice, and my two speedy runs went really, really well. I hate to say that my confidence keeps increasing week by week because I feel like that's asking for something bad to happen (Ed. note: guess I saw it coming!!!), but it's the truth.

I've been so in the groove of marathon training these past three months, so focused on the current week's training and nothing else, that I haven't really thought about what I would do after the marathon. Of course, if I'm lucky enough to qualify and register for Boston, I'll have to start training for that sometime in December. But what would I do until then?

For one thing, I'd like to run some shorter races and update my 5K and 10K PRs. They're from years and years ago—a whole other life, it feels like—and I'd like to see what I can do with my post-marathon fitness level.

I'd also like to refocus on strength training and possibly complete another 12-week round of Kayla Itsines' Bikini Body Guide. I've written a long post about my great experience with it last summer; I just need to fine-tune a couple of parts and add photos to it! I'll share it soon. I've never felt stronger in my life than I did after completing the program, and I'd like to get some of that feeling back. Plus, strength training can only improve my running, so if I can strike a good balance after this marathon, I'll be in great shape to tackle whichever big goal comes next.

MONDAY: 4-mile easy run at 9:42 average pace.

Evie has been asking to run with me, so I happily loaded her up in the stroller for a suuuuper easy post-20-mile run. We chatted, sang "Old MacDonald" and stopped at a playground about three miles in for some playtime. I hadn't run with Evie in a while, and it's much nicer now that she's a little bit older and not constantly taking off her shoes, throwing her water bottle on the ground, etc.!

TUESDAY: 6.2-mile easy run at 9:09 average pace.

WEDNESDAY: 5-mile easy run at 9:03 average pace.

Stephanie and I ran under some pretty dark, threatening clouds, but luckily managed to finish with only a few raindrops on our heads! The skies opened up not long after; love it when we manage to outrun the storm. There's a metaphor in there somewhere, I'm sure.

THURSDAY: 8 x 800m speed intervals (7.5 miles total) at 8:36 average pace.

I was all fired up over a landscaping snafu, so this workout went really well! I don't get angry very often, but when I do, I guess I should run intervals. ☺

Targeting 3:30, I ran 3:27, 3:26, 3:23, 3:28, 3:27, 3:33, 3:28 and 3:28. The one time I didn't hit 3:30 was when I spaced out and accidentally veered off my intended path. I doubled back once I realized my mistake, but it cost me a few seconds to turn around. No matter! I’m sure I could have hit 3:30 or below if it weren't for that mistake, and that's what counts.

This was the first time I actually hit the goal time for (almost) all of my intervals! Usually I hover in the mid to high 3:30s, hitting 3:30 or below just a few times. One big difference this time was that I ran on a straight path through a park vs. my usual round loop around a different park. I switched because my usual park is now host to a lot of summertime activities that make it very crowded and not ideal for running fast. I don't know if the straight vs. circular path was what made all the difference—I'm sure my angry energy helped, too—but I'll take it!

FRIDAY: Rest.

SATURDAY: 6-mile marathon goal pace run at 7:54 average pace.

I spent the late morning/early afternoon with girlfriends sipping champagne, eating brunch and catching up, so I wasn't sure how this run would go. It was also hot (low 80s, I think?), and high temps tend to throw me off my game.

Seeking as much shade as possible, I chose a tree-lined out-and-back route that went uphill near the midway point. It was a bit challenging to hold close to 8:00 pace, but not too bad. When I turned around to head back, I realized my next mile was essentially the last mile of the marathon. I tried to run what I thought felt like an 8:00/mile effort; thanks to the downhill, it turned out to be 7:35. Here's hoping I can summon that sort of speed when I'm running it as mile 26 rather than mile 4!

For the last mile, which was relatively flat (14 feet of elevation loss), I again tried to run 8:00 pace and hit 8:00 on the nose. It felt good to know what my goal pace feels like!

SUNDAY: 12-mile long run at 9:19 average pace.

12 miles seems like nothing compared to last week's 21, but it felt long since I ran it alone and was just counting down every mile until I could be done. There's a lot to be said for running with friends. Listening to podcasts helps pass the time, but not as much as actually interacting with other people! This run was slow, steady and uneventful—nothing exciting, but the perfect end to a rejuvenating step-back week.

Total weekly mileage: 40.7

Follow along in real time on Instagram @dev.on.running.

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (36/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

Masterpost

Chapter Thirty Five

Ned hadn’t been in school because he was out with a cold which meant that Peter spent most of his day on his own. Ned really was his only real friend because even though Peter didn’t have bad interactions with his other classmates, the rest of them just seemed to ignore him and Ned unless it was MJ, but then MJ seemed to be hypervigilant of everyone. Flash just liked to tease anyone that he could and Peter was one of his favorites to bother and Peter was pretty sure it was because Peter tended to get better grades than him and because Flash hadn’t even made it onto the decathlon team. Still, it had never made much sense to Peter that Flash thought the best insult was to change his name from Peter to Penis. It was embarrassing sure when he shouted it in the hallways or out on the street, but Peter just didn’t understand where it came from.

None of it really bothered Peter too much, anyway, but somehow being in school without Ned felt strange. He sat on his own at lunch with just MJ a few spots away with her nose in a book not quite sitting with him. The highlight of his day was when he received an email from Mr. Stark.

Hey Peter,

It’s been a crazy few days on my end lately but I’m glad you enjoyed my presentation. It would have probably been more interesting if you had actually been there to see it, but the technology of today really is amazing in how far reaching things are. I’ve been finding some interesting things on the web myself lately.

How’s school? I haven’t asked that in a while.

Tony Stark

Their emails had finally started to pick up again since Peter had reached out to thank Mr. Stark for the note he’d sent when Ben died. The only problem with them was that Peter was more tempted than ever to tell Mr. Stark about being Spider-Man and he’d had to stop himself from just writing him about it multiple times already. Then there was also the other thing that he’d been a little worried about which was his father and finding out who it was because Peter supposed that the only person he knew that had the resources to actually figure it out was probably Tony Stark. Peter just didn’t know if he actually wanted to know.  

He didn’t have time to reply to the email during lunch and after school Peter wanted to see if he could find anything useful in other people’s trash. It was becoming a bit of a habit for him on his walk home and it was fun because the old stuff was still useful if Peter managed to fix it and if not, then the parts were. It was Uncle Ben that had shown him how useful someone else’s junk could be and Peter loved being able to fix or build something out of scraps. Some of it was even helpful when it came to Spider-Man.

Sam didn’t know quite what to make of Steve after they had found a place to hideout -- namely an abandoned warehouse. Barnes was handcuffed so he wouldn’t try anything and Steve looked like the whole weight of the world was on his shoulders.

Back at the Task Force Headquarters Sam had almost expected for Steve to just go along with whatever Tony wanted. He could tell that a part of Steve wanted to do that -- to keep the peace and make things easier. Not as complicated. Sam had known that he would follow Steve’s lead even if he had his reservations mostly because they were in a tight spot. They were the ones that had been brought in for breaking the law -- they were on the other side of things and options were limited.

But when things started to go wrong and in mere minutes Barnes had become The Soldier, the doctor turned out to be the bad guy, and they were on the run again.

This time they managed to get away, hiding out in an abandoned warehouse with a heavy, wet, and very knocked out Barnes. They put his arm -- the metal one -- in a machine to hold him in place and then they waited even while the Task Force searched for them.

“This really puts us on a whole other level of breaking the law,” Sam pointed out to Steve.

They didn’t even have their things. No Captain America suit and no wings. It didn’t mean that they couldn’t do anything -- but it left them in a tight spot. Especially him, because he didn’t have anything super powered about him. He was still sore from the way that Barnes had just thrown him aside earlier.

After Barnes woke up and had regained his mind they started to piece things together and Sam was starting to think that there was more to the bombing in Vienna. Someone -- this guy that had posed as the doctor -- they had wanted to draw Barnes out and get the information about Siberia and those other Soldiers.

“This would have been easier a week ago,” Sam said, thinking about how much had happened in just the space of days.

It was one thing after another and The Accords were right there in the middle of it all complicating everything and splitting up The Avengers. Splitting up Tony and Steve who had been so very much together and Sam could see the toll that it was taking on Steve. How gaining all this information and not being able to call Tony and tell him hurt. But they couldn’t. Even if Tony believed them -- and actually if it came from Steve of course he would believe it -- there was probably very little he could do about it. They were on their own which wasn’t exactly promising.

Sam remembered suddenly that there was someone else that could be persuaded to help them. Ant-Man. Sam had gone searching for him back after the whole thing with the guy just showing up at The Compound because he figured it was best to know who had been behind that mask for if the need ever arose to ask for help. That need was arising.

“There’s also Wanda,” Steve said.

“You think she’ll be on our side?”

Steve nodded. “I know she will. And anyway, it’s not like Tony will go looking for her help. We’ll just have to find a way to get her out of The Compound.”

Learning that Tony had been having Vision keep her there was not too surprising. Sam could even see why he might want to. Steve seemed to think it was a bigger deal. It was as if he had forgotten how much Wanda’s involvement in the team and her mistakes had played a part in where they were currently.

“Could your guy help us out?” Steve asked.

“Probably. But he won’t be able to do it alone. Is there anyone--”

“Clint,” Steve said.

Sam nodded. They were going to need all the help they could get if they were going to be facing Soldiers like Barnes. This really was not the time for the team to be a splintered mess.

During the entire flight back to New York, Tony had Friday track down Spider-Man. He hadn’t already done it mostly because he had wanted to discuss it with Steve and the others before they tried to recruit the new hero, but things had changed and Tony needed all the help he could get.

The other thing he did while in the air was pull up all the notes he’d had on a preliminary suit and he began to really get working on it. By the time that he made it back to the tower he would already have most of it in construction. Things like the mask and the web shooters would need some more work but he needed more information on Spider-Man and how his powers worked before he figured out those features.

It was as they were nearing New York that Friday finally finished her search.

“Mr. Stark,” Friday said, “it appears that Spider-Man climbed into Peter Parker’s window early this morning.”

It felt like everything stopped. Tony’s heart skipped a beat and time seemed to go on forever because Tony’s mind had always worked faster than most and he didn’t want to draw the most likely conclusion.

“How...how often is Spider-Man near the Parker’s home?” Tony managed to ask, hoping against hope that this was some sort of isolated incident and that this was all some kind of coincidence.

Friday took a moment to answer and it felt like the longest moment in Tony’s life. “It appears to be quite often, sir,” Friday said, “it may be possible that Peter Parker is Spider-Man.”

No. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t be Peter could it? His Peter.

Then, Tony remembered all those questions about spiders and the spider webbing and Tony couldn’t deny it. He couldn’t push aside all the evidence, not when it was so glaringly obvious because unless May Parker was Spider-Man and Tony highly doubted that, then it was Peter. His son was Spider-Man. He was Queens’ own superhero.

He felt warm and cold all over, his breathing coming out hard and everything was too much. He couldn’t hear very well and his heartbeat just seemed to intensify and everything felt like it was too fast and too slow.

“Mr. Stark, you have to breathe,” Friday said and Tony somehow heard her. He tried to slow his breathing down and calm down but it was hard.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Peter wasn’t supposed to be...

“Shall I call Ms. Potts?” Friday asked.

Tony couldn’t answer. He was trying to calm down, sure that this was the start of panic attack. One that he really couldn’t afford to have. There was no time for it and yet his entire body seemed to want to rebel because his son was Spider-Man. He had been out there for months swinging around on some spider web and throwing himself in front of cars and probably all other kinds of dangerous things and Tony just -- he hadn’t known and he should have. Even if May didn’t, he should have.

And now it left him unsure. What was he supposed to do now?

Did he involve Peter in this? Bring him in to help with catching Steve and the others? Even though he was just a kid. Did Tony dare do that, bring his own son into this?

He hated not having a sounding board. Not having Steve to fall back on because his judgement has always been — well, maybe it wasn’t always perfect. Still, he would have been the one Tony asked because he already knew Pepper would tell him to leave Peter out of it. The thing was that if they didn’t bring in Cap and Sam and Bucky that things were only going to get worse. Like his boyfriend being killed by whatever strike team Ross would send out bad.

The anxiety started up again and this time it seemed worse somehow because it was Peter and it was Steve and it was the team -- his family.

“Sir, are you alright?” Friday asked.

They were landing and Tony had to shake himself off. If Peter was anything like him there was nothing that would stop him from going out as Spider-Man even in his odd onesie. Tony needed to see him and speak to him and maybe then he could decide. This was just one more thing -- but suddenly it was the most important thing.

Chapter Thirty Seven

#Peter and Tony #Peter and Tony fic #iron dad #iron dad and spider son #stony #mcu

[deadcactuswalking]

BLAST TO THE PAST: 1st July 2001

Hello again and welcome to BLAST TO THE PAST, where we review UK Top 40 charts from decades ago to see what was happening all the way back then. We’re taking a break from the 1980s and zooming past in lightspeed to 2001, specifically the week of 1st-7th July, as Summer had started to kick in. This chart in particular has some classics and some notable events, which we’ll get into right now.

Top 10

Okay, so first, we have a debut – yep, that’s right, it’s not just intense streaming that lands songs at #1 immediately, there were songs that were big enough to sell just that many copies to get to the top at their first week. At number-one, we have “The Way to Your Love” by megastars Hear’Say, who were pretty damn big in the UK, this being their second chart-topping single. Oh, yeah, and they were created by an ITV reality show, because, I mean, of course they were! They’re a British pop group from the 2000s.

Sadly, we don’t see the rise, yet we see the fall of classic cover “Lady Marmalade”, by the all-star cast of Christina Aguilera, P!nk, Lil Kim and Mýa, from the Moulin Rouge! soundtrack, down one spot to number-two.

We have another top five debut, and not the last top 10 debut, with Usher’s “U Remind Me” starting its chart run at number-three.

At number-four, dropping two places from last week, we have “Angel” by Shaggy featuring Rayvon.

Number-five is home to two-spot-dropper “There You’ll Be” by country singer Faith Hill, from the Pearl Harbor soundtrack.

At number-six, we have the debut of Gorillaz’ “19-2000” featuring uncredited vocals from Miho Hatori as well as founding Talking Heads members Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz.

“All I Want” by Alesha Dixon-fronted R&B girl group Mis-Teeq has dropped three spaces to its current spot at number-seven.

Do any of you remember Brandy? Because I sure don’t. Apparently she was huge, but I remember her feature on a Kanye track from Late Registration and that’s pretty much it. It’s somewhat strange that she collaborated with Ray “Hey-Fab-I’mma-kill you” J of all people, but—Wait a second! They’re siblings? And Ray J is Snoop Dogg’s cousin? Wow, he really had connections, huh? Anyway, Brandy and Ray J’s cover of Phil Collins’ “Another Day in Paradise” is down three spots to number-eight.

“Another Lover” by another-rando Dane Bowers debuts at number-nine. If you’re wondering who this Dane fellow is, he was in a boyband called Another Level then he was on “Celebrity” Big Brother. In fact, I don’t think I know who this dude is, and I see no reason to find out.

“Do You Really Like It” by DJ Pied Piper and the Masters of Ceremonies finished off the top 10 with a four-space drop back to the final spot in the ten most popular songs of the country as of July 1st, 2001.

Climbers

Let me tell you now – there weren’t many at all. In fact, other than the number-one, there weren’t any songs climbing the charts, rather a whole lot of new entries and a whole lot of fallers.

Fallers

Where do we start?

“Daydream in Blue” by electronica duo (sharing their name with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode) I Monster is down 11 spots to #40, “It’s Over Now” by Diddy’s favourite R&B group 112 is down 17 spots to #39 and “Best Friends” by pop group allSTARS* is down eight spots to #38, who had a show on CITV in 2001, and appeared on the Scooby-Doo soundtrack the same year, so I’m assuming they were for kids by kids.

“Close to You” by Wet Wet Wet singer Marti Pellow is down 16 to #37, “No More (Baby I’ma Do it Right)” by three (forgettable) little women known as 3LW is down 10 to #36, “Digital Love” by the best robots in music Daft Punk is down 11 spots to #35, “Out of Reach” by soul singer Gabrielle is down seven spots to #34, “Sing” by alternative rock band Travis is down 10 spots to #33, “Ride wit Me” by Kelly Rowland’s former crush Nelly featuring rapper City Spud is down six spots to #31, “It’s Raining Men” by ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell is down 10 to #30, the classic “Papercut” by nu-metal band Linkin Park is down 15 to #29, 1980’s hit “Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant is here for some reason, but it’s down nine to #28... seriously, why is this here? Apparently it had a “ringbang remix” which landed it into the top five in 2001. Huh, you learn something new and kind of dumb every day.

“Booo!” by lost-in-time musician Sticky (no, not Sticky Fingaz, this Sticky is some nobody without a Wikipedia page) featuring rapper Ms. Dynamite is down 11 to #27, “Here and Now” by the freaking Steps is down nine to #26, “This Time Around” by house music duo Phats & Small is down 15 from #15 to #25, “Thank You” by Dido – best known for Eminem’s excellent use of it as a sample in “Stan” – is down six spots to #24, “Have a Nice Day” by Britpop band Stereophonics is down eight to #20, as is “We Come 1” by electronica group Faithless at #19 as well as “My Way” by walking punchlines Limp Bizkit at #18. “Don’t Stop Movin’” by S Club 7 is down five to #14, as is “All Rise” by boyband Blue at #13. Wow, that was a lot!

Dropouts

Some data in this section may be inaccurate or non-existent, so bear with me as not all drop-outs will be noted in this section, mostly due to the fact that we don’t know a lot of them and I’m just going by what’s there on the UK Singles Chart’s official website.

There weren’t any returning entries this week, so I figured we’d go straight to the drop-outs that we know of, of which there are quite a few of, like “Cold as Ice” by M.O.P. (the Mash-Out Posse) dropping out from #36, “Heard it All Before” by Sunshine Anderson out from #35, “Rock da Funky Beats” by Public Domain featuring Public Enemy Chuck D out from #33, “Video” by India Arie out from #32, “Free” by Mýa out from #39, “Fiesta” by living trash-bag R. Kelly out from #38, “Never Enough” by Boris Dlugosch and Roisin Murphy out from #40, “Musak” by Trisco out from #28, “Jonathan David” by Belle & Sabastian out from #31, “Voodoo” by Warrior out from #37 and, finally, “Let U Go” by ATB out from #34.

NEW ARRIVALS

Now, let’s just jump right into talking about the ELEVEN new arrivals we have this week. I’ll try and keep it brief.

#32 – “Innocente (Falling in Love)” – Delerium featuring Leigh Nash

So, Delerium is an ambient/electronica group known for their hit song “Silence” featuring Sarah McLachlan and Leigh Nash is the lead singer of rock band Sixpence None the Richer, known for their massive hit “Kiss Me”. They would later go on to record a whole album together six years later in 2007, which I don’t really recommend – it’s kind of boring. Is this song a foreshadowing of what to come?

So I’m not the biggest fan of trance at all but I don’t mind this calmer, peaceful trip-hop-influenced stuff from Delerium, in fact I really love the opening guitar riff and the looming instrumentation (and what seem to be bells) before the steady drum beat kicks in and Leigh Nash starts smoothly singing the first verse, all over the instrumentation like she is the main force rather than a jackhammer beat, which is why a lot of EDM doesn’t click with me. However, this is almost not EDM at all. I mean, it’s kind of danceable electronica but, yeah, this is not trance at all, although the strings are definitely reminiscent and it does slowly pick up pace with some uglier synths like trance often does. I don’t know about this, it really drifts along the line between boring and dreamy, much like a lot of songs from Sixpence None the Richer. Did it have to be six minutes? No, but it doesn’t drag on too much in all its peaceful melancholy. I really don’t know why this was listed as a trance song on Wikipedia? Are they talking about the much longer and much worse Tiesto remix? If so, then why did they not specify? Maybe I’m nitpicking about the Wikipedia page more than I should but this song doesn’t really do much for me. If it had some more pop-rock edge from Leigh Nash, maybe I’d like it more, but as it stands, it’s just really weaksauce.

#23 – “Happy People” – Static Revenger

Ah, great, more EDM – lovely. Static Revenger is a Grammy-winning DJ, mostly known for making house and disco. This song in particular went platinum, so you know it’s going to be good, right? Well, if 6ix9ine’s (Platinum-certified!) “GUMMO” told me anything, it’s that sales don’t mean the art or the artists involved are any good... Maybe I should be more open-minded to dance music, I mean, I like a lot of 1990s house so this can’t be much different. I like the R.E.M. song with pretty much the same name, so it’s not like I’m averted to the concept of... happy people. This can’t be too bad.

Oops! I already kind of hate it and love it at the same time. This guitar riff is great but the synths are too static-y for the most part and the build-up feels too drowned out to really be a good build-up until the jackhammer beat starts coming in before the drop, which is a good climax but not entirely satisfying as the simple, repetitive hook stays exactly the same after the drop – I expected some mix-up? The keys introduced after the first drop are a nice change of pace and I appreciate their inclusion, and this is definitely a really fun, exciting and catchy track, however, I think this is just not my thing. It feels soulless and like a bit of a non-presence, which I guess is good for this type of club track? I don’t know, but I guess I just don’t “get” modern EDM still, even though this is barely modern, being early 2000s and all. Maybe I just don’t get EDM at all. Maybe I should learn to have some fun. Probably that last one. Next.

#22 – “Getting Away with It (All Messed Up)” – James

So, James are an indie rock band who have also dabbled in electronica and more experimental rock, including the artsy album WAH WAH. They’re apparently releasing an album next month, which I’ll definitely check out. This single is from their 2001 album Pleased to Meet You, which received mixed reviews by critics at its initial release. Has this song in particular stood the test of time?

Well, yeah, it has. Not in a way that I can be ecstatic about, as it still is somewhat dreary in its constant simplistic guitar strumming, but once the drum beat kicks in, it gets much more exciting and uses the quiet-loud dynamic well, albeit to a lesser extent than other alternative rock bands, as the main increase in volume is the lead singer’s voice, who croons over the oddly funky bassline and the cheap synths as well as the distorted guitar riffs after the first chorus which, yes, are awesome and are pretty nice as a back-up to synth bleeping and different string patterns that add to how intense and urgent the song seems to be, despite its slower tempo. Oh, yeah, and there’s an insane breakdown or solo before the final chorus, where the synths just freak out and that’s pretty damn cool, and the fact that the last chorus continues with the same instrumental makes the song all the more exciting, as it progresses in intensity just to abruptly end. I’m more of a (similarly-named) Travis fan personally, but this song rocks as well.

#21 – “Million Miles Away” – The Offspring

Remember these guys? I don’t know about everyone else, but I used to love these guys. They were one of my favourite bands, and honestly, probably still are as far as rock is concerned. The Offspring are a Californian rock band fronted by Dexter Holland, who always straddled the lines between alternative, pop punk and straight-up punk rock. They have a UK number-one and many other hits (and damn good deep cuts) in their arsenal, so how does this song in particular, from their album Conspiracy of One, fare?

It starts with a rapid and intense guitar riff that isn’t too heavy but fast enough to keep up with the simplistic, mad-cap drumming, creating an instrumental base for Dexter to moan about his break-up over. While I appreciate the instrumental, it is a tad too simple, as is the hook with the “oh, oh, oh” vocalisations and the singing feeling too whiny at times, especially in that chorus. While I love the instrumental to death, I feel Dexter’s sloppily-mixed vocals being all over it ruin it for me. However, there’s enough time where it’s just the backing and the guitar solo also rocks, so yeah, although I’m not a fan of the repetitive lyrics and delivery here, I can dig what’s behind it. Sadly, this is probably the first and only Offspring I’ll get to talk about – trust me, they’ve made much better stuff. My personal favourite of their singles is “Hit That”, if you want to check that absolute romp of a dance-rock track. They’re also releasing a new album this year, so I’m excited for that.

#16 – “Hard to Explain” – The Strokes

The Strokes don’t really need an explanation, right? One of the biggest American rock bands in recent memory, hailing from New York and bringing back garage rock in a huge way that led them to two top 10 UK hits. This is their first ever single, from their debut album Is This It, annoyingly without a question mark. Maybe XXXTENTACION could have lent them one, he seems to have had an extra one left around. That’s beside the point, let’s get into the breakout single from The Strokes.

It starts with a simple drum beat – possibly not from Fabirizio Moretti but rather from a drum machine - before going into one of the most memorable and slick guitar riffs of all time, thanks to guitarists Albert Hammond and Nick Valensi, with a funky bassline provided by Nikolai Fraiture backing not only the guitars up but also the distorted vocals from Julian Casablancas, with a catchy-as-all-hell hook that leads into an abrupt fake-end, before it picks up again for another exciting few minutes of punkish indie rock, with Casablancas’ vocals getting more strained and emotional throughout. I’m actually finding it pretty hard to describe and review this song fairly without insane hyperbole, as Casablancas says, it is pretty hard to explain, as it is one of my favourite hit songs ever, with its perfectly balanced amount of rowdiness and genuine intrigue, and dare I say, a certain classiness to the composition. Fantastic song, fantastic album, and a damn great band.

#15 – “Baddest Ruffest” – Backyard Dog

This is the 2002 FIFA World Cup song, made by big beat producing duo Backyard Dog, consisting of Aniff Akinola and Lloyd Hanley. To my knowledge, they haven’t done anything else, although Akinola here has rapped on other songs, like the mild success “Bounce ‘n’ Boom” and Kirsty MacColl’s top 40 hit “Walking Down Madison”, so it’s debateable if these guys are one-hit wonders, but if one of the most notable things the lead singer has been in was a Vimto advert, it’s safe to say you’ve probably been forgotten in time since. So, how’s Backyard Dog’s seemingly only ever piece of released music (other than their only studio album and the remix EP for this very song) that is documented on the Internet?

Well, it starts with what are assumingly sampled horns in one simple loop before a subtle but effective bass comes in and Akinola starts shouting, adding some ragga influence, but mostly I’d say this is a pretty simple big beat song, with a solid horn hook and even Akinola’s vocals adding a lot of uniqueness to an otherwise not-very-noteworthy track. Hell, I’d like this a lot more if it weren’t for the annoying chicken-like record scratching that makes up most of the song. As it stands, there’s one element that just tears the whole thing apart, which is unfortunate as this is actually a pretty fun and exciting, different song, and I do wish these guys had more material to listen to, because I’m digging their style. It’s pretty intriguing, even if it is just some big beat loops with Caribbean-tinged vocals being yelled over the track by a charismatic performer, who I’ll try and dig up other projects from. I hope these guys reunite to make some more jams.

#12 – “More than That” – Backstreet Boys

Listen, you know who the Backstreet Boys are. I know who the Backstreet Boys are. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand them. They’re talented men, sure, but it feels a bit too cheesy and sickly sweet for me to really get into. Does that ring true with “More than That”, from their 2000 album Black & Blue?

Yes, of course it does. Why wouldn’t it? It has a pretty interesting albeit typical Latin or tropical guitar riff, but the vocals from the boys here aren’t too great, and everything that surrounds them just feels like purely perfect pop blandness. It’s too perfect – kind of like “These Days” by Rudimental featuring Jess Glynne, Dan Caplen and Macklemore and “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B, both of which I talked about on REVIEWING THE CHARTS. It’s a good song, definitely, but it feels too manufactured for me to enjoy on repeated listening, as in the end, it is a soulless boyband song. What did you expect, a long, in-depth review that focuses on the vocal range of the boys and how excellently they mesh with the smooth R&B production? No, you’re not getting that, because there are better pop songs and better R&B singers that you could be listening to, even if it’s just the early 2000s. In fact, we’ll be talking about another in just a short while.

#9 – “Another Lover” – Dane

No, this is not who I meant! I meant Usher! I didn’t want this complete nobody to come in! Well, what does Dane have to say?

Nothing. He has nothing to say because he is uninteresting and typical lyrically. That was a dumb question, I don’t think he even wrote this song... but in R&B, it’s more about how you say it, and, damn, does he pull off the smooth, Latin-influenced production well! The Latin riffs are still present in the guitars, and the drums are more prominent than they probably should be, but Dane brings a great presence to the track, even if it doesn’t seem like he can actually sing very well at all, using his falsetto a lot of the time to mixed results, but he is fun and has more charisma than Juice WRLD and Dexter Holland when moaning about issues with a partner. I love the whispering in the penultimate chorus as well, which continues in the outro as some kind of acapella percussion, which I appreciate for its experimentalism if anything. This slick 1990s-resembling production and the man’s charisma make this a great listen, even if it’s not on Spotify and only has 70,000 views on YouTube... Yikes. Now, THIS has been forgotten in time.

#6 – “19-2000” – Gorillaz featuring Miho Hatori and Talking Heads (Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz)

I love Gorillaz. I’ve been a fan for a long while now, and I have grown to love how they blend genres excellently in accessible and catchy yet still experimental and strange pop songs, while still believing that the flow of an album is definitely important... well, they used to do that. Right now, with Humanz and The Now Now, it seems that they care more about the singular songs, which is fair because of streaming being more important now, but like the Avalanches, the flow of the album is seminal in my enjoyment of a Gorillaz album, and that has not been consistent recently, with bloated, boring albums and messes of songs like “Sex Murder Party” and... “Man Research (Clapper)”... from their self-titled 2001 debut album. Okay, so, maybe they’ve never been too great at the whole “making tight compositions” thing. This song is kind of proving as that chaotic structure not working too well. Let me elaborate.

“19-2000” is about the new millennium, as its title suggests, and follows the trends of the bridge between 1999 and 2000 very carefully, with a sampled trip-hop/hip-hop drum beat and catchy boyband-like vocalisations. However, it feels very messy in all its minimalistic joy. You have Miho Hatori’s repetitive lyrics about getting “the cool sunshine”, some reversed and heavily-edited vocal samples, Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz doing whatever the hell they want in the background with some multi-tracked humming from frontman Damon Albarn, behind careless and slow verses from Albarn. You also have the “we gon’ break out” bridge thing, which is just kind of there? And then you have the various synth noises going on in one specific ear while there’s finger-snapping – could we have saved this for the video, guys? I don’t know, this song is fun and I’m still relatively positive on it, but like “Tranz” and “DARE”, it seems like too much is going on throughout. Also, I don’t know what’s Albarn, what’s Hatori, what’s Weymouth and where the hell Frantz is, so that’s lovely. It just piles into some kind of ball of musical elements, but they don’t mesh. They just keep growing.

#3 – “U Remind Me” – Usher

Usher is one of my favourite artists of all time. His charisma and personality is unmatched in R&B, and he will go down as a legend with some of the best club bangers and powerful and slick R&B ballads in music history. This is US chart-topper “U Remind Me”, from his third album 8701. While I’ve always preferred the Confessions era (my personal favourite Usher track is “Confessions Part II”), I can dig his earlier stuff and this is no exception.

Those introductory strings are damn beautiful, and then the piano and the synths come in, to assist Usher in all his glory, with his smooth delivery and scratched backing gang vocals. Sure, the lyrics can be seen as pretty corny or selfish and close-minded, but Usher pulls them off with his immense amounts of swagger, with a guitar coming in to match his charisma in the second verse. Oh, yeah, the song’s about a girl he can’t date because they remind him too much of an ex... for a song about what seems to be a first-world problem, Usher’s melodramatics may seem unnecessary, but they’re really not. The catchy hook and his many ad-libs really help rather than hinder, as it becomes pretty beautiful considering its potentially silly subject matter by the end. Maybe it’s too long, maybe it’s too overdramatic, but I don’t care. Usher pulls it off like no-one else ever could.

#1 – “The Way to Your Love” – Hear’Say

Okay, can I get a “get out of review” free card? Come on, it’s the eleventh new arrival and it’s the most anti-climactic, blandest-as-possible pop song, orchestrated by a trash talent show, with talented yet uninteresting and charmless singers, as well as cliché production – although the drums here are pretty cool albeit unfitting, I will admit – including the cheapest strings I’ve heard this side of Soundcloud rap, which I feel I’ve made too many comparisons to in a blog about 2000s pop music. Ah, well. What’s this song got to say, do or try and get across? Nothing. Nothing at all. This is so cheesy that I feel the milk being heated already... yet it’s not even funny. It’s just boring. It’s just a slog. Just an uninteresting, undeserving #1. At least it’s not “Freaky Friday”.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to “Hard to Explain” by The Strokes, no competition, although “U Remind Me” is an Honourable Mention and deservedly so. Worst of the Week? Although I have the most bile for our #1 here, yeah, it’s going to “Innocente (Falling in Love)” by Delerium for just being insanely boring, with Dishonourable Mention going to “The Way to Your Love”, I suppose. Nothing here is outright bad, just very uninteresting. See you tomorrow for REVIEWING THE CHARTS!