noonmutter

[noonmutter]

not counting the rifles/shotguns I helped sell/process returns for at the sporting store I worked at in college, I found my mom's rifle in the house exactly one time. She hid it better and I haven't seen it since

purpose of this poll: basically im wondering if my gran having a pistol was a typical american experience

[noonmutter]

fuck it why not

noticed I accidentally managed a flawless anime doinger (the swoopy bit in the hair) and took the only correct action

somebody who was not my wife called me handsome so I get to ride high now and fuck it here y'go

#surprise #it me #photos I actually like in spite of myself #yes I'm quoting you you fuck that was a helluvan ego boost

[noonmutter]

You know what? Fuck it.

The amount of notes that this post gets by the end of April is the amount of words I'll write for one of my books.

#I'm doing my part

[noonmutter]

I am not european but I do work for the state and I want it to be very easy to identify whether I wrote something or not if my paperwork is ever audited

writing numbers in wierd ways is but one measure I take to do this

*gathers all of the people in the world who write the number 7 with a little dash in the center of it so I can study them like little critters and find out what makes them do that*

[noonmutter]

I don't know how else to explain to you just how wierd and stupid the internet has always been and always will be

[noonmutter]

All the well-documented and awful health problems they objectively cause aside, and how foul it makes you, your living space, and all your belongings smell, and how yellow it turns everything it touches including your skin and teeth...

...cigarettes are ungodly expensive for what they are. Who the fuck can even afford that shit

[noonmutter]

[noonmutter]

terry vs. toffee?

terry vs. toffee.

@bovineblogger

[noonmutter]

Well then. Pheonix had originally only called Leon over to playfully push back at Barry after he taunted her. It had been for fun, really, and After Dark really brought no shame, hence the reason why she didn't think twice about yelling across the crowded room to summon him over. When Leon asked if he had permission to touch Barry, she'd said yes. Leon was their friend, he knew they were married, he wasn't going to suddenly do anything explicit with her husband. "Put him in his place." Another bluff. "Make him get on the floor." "She thinks she can win tonight." Barry had responded, a smirk on his face. That smirk had been wiped off as soon as Leon took hold of his hair and lowered himself - Barry not even fighting back - to the ground. Phe watched in flustered shock as her husband's cheek was pressed to the floor, Leon giving HER a little lesson in the process. She could barely get the words out when Leon reached up for her hand, to replace his on Barry's head. And then he stood up, brushed his knees off and left them there to go back to whatever it was he had been doing before she had called him over. It had taken a little bit of a wheeze and chuckle for Barry to break her out of her thoughts. And all of her smugness and cocky demeanour from earlier had disappeared, even when she grabbed Barry's hand to lead him outside for some fresh air once he'd been released up off the floor. For a moment, she'd been overwhelmed. She wasn't angry at Leon, and she never would be. She'd given him permission. But perhaps she didn't expect THAT to happen. What had she expected him to do though? Leon was...well. He was an expert in a side she'd rarely explored the depths of herself up until recently. And even then, Phe had BARELY scratched the surface of it. There was a different mood between herself and Barry afterwards, as they sat outside. A bit of banter back and forth....but something else stirring under the surface. Something that she was going to talk to Leon about. @noonmutter & @disruptanddisturb for mentions

#not my writing #leon #phe #barry #he'd do it again too #it was all he could do not to burst out laughing at Phe's expression

[noonmutter]

I will never not watch glam kitchen.

"Enjoy the sodium desgraciadas"

[noonmutter]

...how on earth is DBZ not here?

[noonmutter]

With the caveat that you talk to me about it OOC first and don't just pop up one day improv-ing about childhood memories and expecting me to yes-and you, ye I'm all for this

This has been on my mind for long but I’m gonna do this - please reblog this if you’re comfortable with pre-establishing relationships. I do not mean “met at the grocery store two weeks ago” or “have a common friend”, but rather stuff like “have been best friends since kindergrden”, “go for a beer every friday”, “friends with benefits”, “dated in highschool”, “hate each other’s guts because -insert reason-”  etc. Something meaningful (but not necessarily shippy) and I mean with muns/characters you have not interacted with, because I cannot believe I am the only one who prefers jumping right into the heart of the human interaction.

[noonmutter]

I went to a restaurant with a friend yesterday and upon entering we saw these splendid blueberry tarts under bell jars on the counter and we made jokey small talk with the waitress like oh, people will fight over these if there's not enough for everyone, it'll tear families apart, are you making more later? and she said no, I'm afraid that's our entire stock for today, but there are 18 slices, it should be plenty! It was a small village restaurant with only one menu du jour so there weren't any other dessert options but they don't usually get that many customers—but then a couple of large groups arrived and most people noticed the tarts like we did, and went ohh blueberry tart, it's been a while, I can't wait, and it became clear that when we'd get to the end of our meal there would be winners and losers in the blueberry tart rush

But later as we were about to order dessert I wasn't hungry anymore and I was like well that's too bad but someone else will be glad to get 'my' slice of tart—and my friend said yeah, me :) You should order it anyway, I'll eat both! At first I thought she was joking, but no. I said, there's not enough for everyone, you can't take two, and she said, we were going to order two slices, what difference does it make? and I was baffled that she couldn't see the ethical difference between two people eating one slice of tart each vs. one person eating two, when there's a limited quantity of tart. I felt like we were in a simplistic social justice metaphor it was so obvious, but there was no changing her mind. When I said "it's just... not nice" she said "okay" with a shrug, and what can you say to that. She added, you don't know any of these people and I was like, why are we reverting to tribal dynamics in a non-apocalyptic setting, how would you feel if we'd arrived a bit later and seen others ordering two desserts knowing you'd get zero? And she said, I would think that's their right, and I felt kind of amazed.

I pointed out that if she didn't think it was a wee bit wrong, she wouldn't ask me to order her second piece as if it was for me, and she said yeah maybe we don't need to do that, there's no law preventing me from ordering two desserts. What about Kant's categorical imperative Okay I guess you're not breaking any laws by taking more than your fair share of a thing other people also want, just failing a kindergarten-level morality test. I felt embarrassed for sounding like an annoying preachy rigid person so I dropped the issue, and as she ate her two slices she'd smile at me every time we overheard someone order coffee without dessert—like "See? There'll be enough, no one will be deprived of tart because of me!" as if that cancelled the fact that she didn't care in the first place. I guess it was one of these tiny issues that can still significantly alter the way you perceive a person. I tried to tell myself not to be so bothered about this small thing but I was! so bothered. And I felt like writing a letter to some agony aunt like "should I end a friendship over irreconcilable blueberry tart ethics"

#meh #it's a restaurant and all the food in it is therefore a luxury item #i don't really feel bad for buying what i want if i want it #since i am not denying somebody a thing that they explicitly Need or will actually suffer for not having #it's not only about how much is available it's about whether it's actually a loss not to have it or just not a treat

[noonmutter]

Doing something embarrassing, gross, or graceless in this household = suggestive eyebrow waggle and an extremely confident "lllladies," as though we just finished flexing our Adonis-like muscles that we absolutely do not have. It makes us laugh and we move on with our days

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[noonmutter]

Limiting the choice to the shows and movies I have seen/know of. I'm not asking who the first actor you have seem playing Arthur was, rather the one you instinctively think about when someone mentions him or the one closest to your heart.

#graham chapman #monty python #I literally watched 90% of that movie through memes as a kid

[noonmutter]

I don’t think it’s true at all that the reason most people dress boring is that they want to fit in sometimes you just need to accept that not everyone is obsessed with finding a unique style some people just wear clothes to avoid public indecency

#look i get tired of clothing so fast #it's annoying and sometimes its coarse and it has to be everywhere

[noonmutter]

*slowly looks at Dwyn and Terry*