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blysse-and-blunder · 2 years

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In lieu of a holiday break

7 pm pst, friday, dec 31, 2021

And that’s a wrap on the first year of In Lieu of a Commonplace Book! I posted 49 of these media round-up posts in 2021; this marks the 50th such post, a pleasingly round number. I started out thinking it was a weekly reflection, but looking at my own stats, it’s clearly more of a monthly/quarterly thing— which is just as well, it’s nice to realize there’s any kind of consistency and also to give myself permission to take it easy. The thoughts below the ‘read more’ are not especially reflective or significant in an end-of-year way, so I’ll simply say thank you here to any of you who have read and engaged with any of these—I am hugging you, gently.

Reading finished t.j. klune’s the house in the cerulean sea and jumped immediately into the (very different) inheritance of loss by kiran desai. the contrast between the prose style and ways of evoking sensation and scene and character in these two books is helping me pinpoint what I like and dislike about each of them—both definitely have a message, or messages, but one is, you know. a parable or a fairytale or a modern children’s classic, and one is doing a lot more with irony and is willing to mess with form. love a book that isn’t afraid to mess with typeface, s p a c i n g, SIZE, etc to send your mental reader’s voice to the right register.

Watching being here at my parents’ means access to (and social encouragement to join in during) a bunch of shows; so far we’ve finished wheel of time, Picard, and started in on Star Trek: Discovery and the book of boba fett. to give each of these their due is probably beyond me right now and beyond the scope of this post, but all together, they’re showing me things about modern streaming genre tv (it’s trying so hard to be cinematic! it doesn’t really mind having complicated concepts or a gazillion plot points but the base-level dialogue is Not Complicated). the soundtracks to wot and fett fucking rule; the credits sequences are all doing amazing work.

Listening I don’t know what it is about the past few months but I have suddenly turned into the kind of person who falls head over heels for a full album and plays it cover to cover. this is new, this is a new feeling, but it’s happened again (like with miya folick and the new autoheart), only this time it’s for the 2018 album ‘Hide & Hair’ by folk(-rock? trad?…folk) group Trials of Cato, from the UK. I knew I liked the opening instrumental; it’s been on my 2021 playlist for months, but for whatever reason I checked out the remainder of the album and got to have that dawning, glorious moment of ‘oh but it’s all good?’ i think it stunned me (unnecessarily) with how Welsh it is, the whole album, the whole aesthetic-- eistedd yn yr haf, ar ganol diwrnod braf-- and i don't expect that, but it delights me each time.

youtube

To name the standouts only, if I must, ‘Gloria’ starts you out thinking it’s one kind of song (depressed kid from a mining area escapes to the big city after meeting a woman) and then you listen more clearly and it’s! not what you thought! (the kid is Gloria and is discovering herself) and this on top of its musicality is so perfect; I will eventually teach myself the lyrics to ‘Haf’ and not just bc it’s good Welsh practice, it’s also warm and lush and good; I got fully, righteously, triumphantly swept up in their cover of ‘Tom Paine’s Bones’ (the layered harmonies, the rich but not ostentatious production, is a strength of the whole album— this is the age of reason, and these are the rights of man!!) and sang it nonstop for about three weeks.

Playing haven't known rest since an online buddy posted this 2048 iteration, also known as 'oh god this is the fastest i'm ever going to be published isn't it'-- but i did beat it, i did get my phd, and the amount of coffee, garbage, ideas, paninis, failed relationships, and conferences seems about right tbh.

Making we didn't really do christmas cookies this year, or pies, or much of any extravagant seasonal baking, but there is a braided/fruit-filled bread thing my mom and i make each year which we went for despite only having the untested, jotted version of the recipes-- so when the dough turned out extra heavy and rich, with totally different like...gluten-y profiles, from what we'd have hoped from the bread, i pivoted and it became cinnamon rolls. and they weren't half bad.

#*looney toons voice*: that's all folks!#in lieu of a commonplace book #sending 2021 on its way #don't let the door hit ya on the way out #ilcb #Youtube

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sedated-love · 4 years

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Camboy Bakugo

I’m thinking this is probably going to end up being a two part piece tbh! I’ll see how well this one does and then decide if I continue it or not based on that...So if you wanna see more, make sure to give this post some love so I know! <3

Hope you guys enjoy! Also if you have any suggestions for what I write in the future, please feel free to leave them in my ask box!

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“Don’t tell me you’re getting off on this, pervert”

Bakugo huffed softly, looking back at the camera where his comments were currently going insane over his current situation. He was bent over his bed with his skirt flipped up so the camera could clearly see the small pink butt plug resting prettily between his cheeks. He spread his cheeks more with his hands, giving a better view as he rolled his eyes, acting like his audience were the perverted ones when he was the one filming himself doing such lewd actions.

He started camming a couple of months ago to help pay for his college, but he hadn’t expected to blow up like he had. It had only taken a couple of weeks for him to become one of the top cam boys on the site and he was able to quit his part time job to focus completely on camming. The popularity had taken him by surprise, but he wasn’t exactly complaining. He had come to really enjoy the attention that came with the job. Not to mention it paid extremely well. There were times he would make more money in one night than he would have in two weeks at his part time job.

It was like there was something about his standoffish personality mixed with his looks that had people intoxicated. He found that once he gained a follower, they seemed to always come back for more no matter when he streamed. It was something that fueled his ego and had him become more and more cocky every time the camera turned on.

“Is this what you wanted, asshole?”

He tugged softly on the plug, biting his lip as he could feel the stretch against his entrance every time he did. “Fuck, I bet you were just waiting to watch me play with myself today, weren’t you?” He pulled out the plug, a lewd pop filling the room when he did so which just turned him on even more as he made sure to spread his legs wider so the camera could get a good view of his now empty hole that was practically begging to be filled.

“Since I’m feeling generous, I’ll let whoever the highest bidder pick which toy I use today~”

He hummed softly to himself as he watched the money start pouring in through his comments. He noticed his regulars always made particularly high purchases on nights like this. He had gotten good at figuring out exactly what to say to have them melting right into the palm of his hands and considering the numbers he could see popping up on the screen, it looked like tonight was going to be a good work night.

“Let’s see….”

He got up just to take a closer look at his computer, a soft smirk crossing his lips when he saw ‘ManlyKiri69’ was the person to donate the most money. What kind of username was that anyways? “Alright ManlyKiri, as promised, what toy am I going to be using tonight?” He sat back on his bed, letting the skirt ride up on his thighs as his hard on was prominent under the thin veil of fabric.

He found that he didn’t even have to explain what equipment he had anymore as his regulars seemed to have all of his toys memorized and in all honesty…a lot of his toys were sent to him from his regulars. He could already feel the heat rise to his face when the comment from ManlyKiri came through, deciding his fate. He had honestly never even used the toy or shown it on camera because…well it made him a bit nervous but it quickly became obvious to him that this user must have been the one to send it to him if he knew about it.

“P-Pervert…wanting me to use that, huh?”

He could barely keep the flustered look from his face as he went and grabbed the unopened box the toy came in. It was a dildo, but it was…large. The eight inches in length didn’t bother him but it was the 3-inch girth that had him anxiously rubbing his thighs together, not sure if he could really take all of that without breaking…

He popped open the packaging, pulling the toy out as he sat back on his bed, biting his lip as he watched the excited comments start rolling in as soon as the chosen toy was shown on screen paired with a comment that had his heart pounding in his chest and his face bright red. ‘If you can’t handle it, you can choose something else’. Bakugo could barely believe how cocky this user seemed to be as he huffed softly, his competitive nature getting the best of him as all his anxiety seemed to be wiped away when he read that comment. He wasn’t going to let some horny asshole get the better of him.

“Shut up! I can take your toy and more!”

He scowled softly as he grabbed his lube, thoroughly coating the toy in the slick liquid. He always made sure to stretch himself before his streams so he wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of doing so with an audience but now he was starting to wonder if he shouldn’t have spent a little more time on it today… It was too late now though; he was already determined to prove that asshole that he could take the toy no issues.

He wondered for a moment how he should position himself. On one hand doggy style would give a perfect view of his hole being stretched wide but he knew just how much his audience seemed to love seeing his face whenever he fucked himself with a toy. He sat on his bed, bringing his legs up so that he had perfect access to his entrance while still sitting up for the camera to see. He used pillows against his back to keep himself propped up as he lined the head of the toy up with his entrance.

Just from pushing the tip against himself, he could already feel how thick it was compared to what he was used to but there was no way he was going to back down now. Not when he had a point to prove. He slowly started to push the toy inside of him, his eyebrows furrowing his and his face twisting in a mix of pain in pleasure as he was stretched so wonderfully by the large dildo.

The pain of being stretched so wide just seemed to lace with the pleasure, making his entire body jerk slightly as he slowly kept sliding the toy in until he managed to take it to the base. His toes curled slightly in pleasure when he finally pushed it all the way in, his entire body feeling so filled to the brim in a way that he had never experienced before.

His normal cocky attitude was no where to be seen as he practically forgot that he was filming all together, now just completely focused on that stinging pleasure that was coursing through him from the huge dildo that should have split him in two yet he took like a grade A whore. He let out soft little whimpers, bucking his hips back as if he was begging for more friction but there was no one else there to give it to him besides himself.

He pulled the dildo all the way out to the tip before slamming it back inside, letting out a soft squeal of pleasure as it forced its way so deep inside of him. His body began trembling ever so slightly in pleasure as the comments started flooding with remarks of the unfamiliar submissive look written all over his face. Bakugo was always usually taking a toy or jerking himself off in his videos but he was best known for his bratty aura…but now he seemed to have broken slightly as he continued thrusting the girthy toy into his slutty hole.

“D-Don’t get too cocky…”

He caught his slip up, trying to put back on his bratty behavior but it was hard when the toy was hitting so deep inside of him with every thrust, making his eyes cross and his tongue hang out every time he hit just right. He normally only gave soft moans and slow thrusts to drag out the stream but right now he couldn’t help but pound the toy inside of him, arching his back in pleasure as a song of loud moans left his lips shamelessly.

He completely forgot his competitive drive from earlier as now the only thing he could think about was chasing his own pleasure. He started thrusting into himself faster, almost as if he didn’t remember that he was filming in the first place. He was normally so actively speaking to his audience, making sure to interact with them and keep them involved in every move he made but now it was taking everything he could just to get out a coherent curse as he absolutely melted under the abuse of the toy.

He never let up for a second, pulling the toy all the way out to the tip only to slam it right back inside, forcing himself to feel just how full he could be with every thrust. He could already feel the familiar heat boiling in his stomach from the rough and fast pace. He normally tried not to cum too fast just to ensure all of his viewers had time to get to his level but all he could think about right now was his own release.

He pushed the toy into himself faster, his arm starting to feel sore from just how brutal of a pace that he set but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he squealed and moaned loudly, his cock throbbing against his stomach. It didn’t take him long before he cumming harshly, his toes curling and his eyes brimming with tears from the pleasure as he coated his own chest with his orgasm.

He couldn’t help but let his body go limp as his vision whitened momentarily from the pleasure, leaving him a panting wrecked mess as he hadn’t even realized the tears that had started streaming down his face until he slowly came down from his high. He whined ever so softly as he pulled the toy out of himself with a lewd ‘pop’ before he sat up to look at the screen, his face flushed dark red in embarrassment when he realized just how carried away he had gotten.

Though nothing could compare him for what he would see on his screen. His viewer count was almost triple the normal amount along with the amount of money he had received and written boldly for him to see at the end of his comments was from RedRiotKiri, another top cammer, which said, ‘let’s collab ;)’.

He didn’t know why he hadn’t seen it earlier because now there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that the ManlyKiri user from before was RedRiotKiri. He just never thought someone so praised in the camming community would ever be watching him but now that he commented on his main account it was obvious…was he planning for this all along? Is that why he bought Bakugo that toy in the first place? He couldn’t help but smirk as he gave his outro before winking softly at the camera, unable to help himself as he gave one final message.

“And Kiri…You wouldn’t be able to handle me~”

#bakugo #bakugo smut #mha #my hero academia #bakugou katsuki #kiribaku #katsuki smut #mha smut

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firewoodfigs · 3 years

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a smorgasbord of unbidden thoughts / highlights (long post ahead!):

we’re slowly creeping out of the lockdown, and we’re allowed to go out for meals now! I got to meet a friend for dinner on Monday and he treated me to some amazing Italian fare as a belated birthday gift :’) I was really craving Italian after watching Luca and I haven’t had good pasta in a long while, so that was really nice. I also met a friend for dinner today after work, and we’re just glad to have made it to Friday tbh lmao. it was nice catching up again after so long and talking about everything under the sun (in this case, under the moon). I love spending time alone and having time myself, but I can’t deny that I’ve also missed interacting with other sentient life forms lmao.

I managed to re-schedule my vaccine slots, and I'm getting my first shot tomorrow! fingers crossed it won’t be too bad (I still wanna be able to type through the soreness 😩). I'm a little nervous tbh because I absolutely detest needles, but I feel like at this point I just don’t care anymore LMAO. it also helps that my bf and I got the same vaccination slot, so I guess I'll just make a ruckus and be a nuisance if things go south. jk

next week’s my last full week of work before my two-month break begins! I'm really excited to finally get a breather from work (although to be fair I've only been working for like... 6 months lmao rip) before things get real hectic in September haha. I'm definitely not looking forward to the added responsibilities, and i’m honestly not sure how to feel about getting called to the bar because everyday is just a flurry of shit, am I really cut out for this and help, work is dulling my * sparkle * and yo, you think I can just move somewhere west and be a country singer? but oh well. too late I guess. I'm too deep in debt to get out now LMAO. jk

on the bright side, though, I received news today that I’ve been designated to my preferred area of practice for my next seat :) and i'm pretty excited about that! I've honestly been feeling pretty desiccated about the law ever since starting practice because it’s so different from whatever I've studied and something that college couldn’t have possibly prepared me for lmao (many thoughts but I don’t want to turn this into an essay so I will simply project my feelings onto my favourite war criminals)

it’s been a struggle to create lately, for various reasons. these days it feels like anything I make is woefully inadequate and subpar and mediocre, and i’m just. constantly torn between striking everything out altogether and desperately wanting to be better, to feel better. I felt a little burnt out after royai week because I was rushing to complete so many projects and ideas on time (I do tend to get a little overambitious and overzealous that way, haha), and so I tried to take a break, but I couldn’t properly rest, either, because these days I only feel alive when I'm... creating. LOL. it's like an unresolvable paradox where I slog to feel alive and then feel like death, and then feel like I'm wasting away and wasting time when I'm being unproductive and fruitless. idk, man. it’s probably the productivity guilt acting up or something. it doesn’t help that my mind is an unholy mix of anxiety and imposter syndrome and perfectionism, either, or that inspiration only strikes me at the ungodliest of hours. I find that it’s easier to write when I've cleared everything else on my plate, but sometimes it’ll be midnight by the time I've done that because there’s just so much to do. I end up writing at two in the morning and/or recording snippets of a putative song while half-asleep (the result is usually pretty dang awful, because I have no idea what I was saying when I listen to it the next day lmao).

I also find it to difficult to alternate between so many forms of writing. my job mostly consists of reading and writing (mostly boring and terribly dreary stuff, because lawyers have apparently never heard of punctuation or one-liners, and I am 100% proving this right now with my streams of consciousness), and my hobbies primarily include that, too. I've also been struggling to switch between writing prose/fic and poems and songs because i tend to focus on different things. (I also have the attention span of a goldfish. or a confused rat.) like, I focus a lot more on how things flow for the first, how things look for the second, and how things sound for the third, if that makes sense? but I also literally cannot focus on one thing at a time so everything is just a half-written mess and a smattering of my illegible scrawls tbh 😞 I'm hoping that I'll have more time to sit down and properly sort these out one at a time during my break hahaha.

that being said, I read something this week about the four stages of learning a new skill LOL iirc it goes (1) unconscious incompetence (2) conscious incompetence (3) conscious competence (4) unconscious incompetence? I find that I'm stuck at (2) atm for a lot of things, which is probably why it’s so hard to go forth and do the damn thing without descending into a spiral of self-doubt haha. the truth is I rely on external reassurances and validation a great deal to tide me through, because my mind is just so used to criticising myself for everything and being my own harshest critic that it’s become a challenge to objectively assess my own work. it’s probably a defence mechanism to feeling like failure is not an option and/or my upbringing or something, and it’s how I’ve coped with a lot of things, but I'm also coming to realise that it’s not always the healthiest way to live haha.

BUT, you know. at the end of the day it’s a hobby and it’s supposed to be fun and joy-inducing and. it’s so easy to ruin all of that in the process of pursuing perfection so. I think i’ll just work on attempting the damn thing and worrying about it afterwards 🤠 (and also being less exacting on myself haha)

ending things on a lighter and brighter note - I received a lovely surprise from a friend this week!! I ordered some earrings from her (the stuff she makes is the stuff of DREAMS) and she tossed in a necklace for me and it’s just. it’s beautiful. it’s handmade. it’s astounding. I'm weeping.

#personal #not fma #sorry this turned out to be such a long ramble lmao... I've just been keeping these thoughts to the back of my mind #and it's Friday night so I'm unleashing them from the vault LMAO #anyway I'm off to bed!!! <3 I hope y'all have a lovely weekend mwahmwahMWAH

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keiyoomi · 4 years

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❝ paalam❞

☾pairing: akaashi keiji x reader;

☾genre: angst

☾word count: 1,458 words

☾warning: cheating. akaashi is ooc.

☾note: i will probably rewrite this in the future. like my other works, this is unedited. will edit soon, but not this month. i think. i run out of ideas, tbh. also, i can’t write this in peace. sksksksksksksksksks. ah! if there’s anyone interested to beta read my future works, please step forward. T^T

☾currently playing on repeat: paalam by moira dela torre ft. ben&ben

“We’ll live in a house with a front yard and a backyard,” Akaashi whispered as he two slowly dance in your living room. He brought your hand to his lips before placing his hand behind your back. “Maybe we’ll have two or three kids who’ll be spoiled by his godparents. Especially Bokuto-san,” he added making you smile against his chest. “Everything will be perfect,” he whispered before kissing your temple.

You slammed your phone on the top of your wooden center table after reading the message he sent. ‘Why now? Of all times, why now when I’m finally healing from all the pain he had caused?’ Tears streamed down your cheeks as memories flooded your mind.

“Keiji.” Akaashi glanced at your direction before pulling you closer to him. “I hope we could stay like this forever,” you mumbled while drawing lazy circles against his arms. “I feel better whenever you’re around. You always know what to do and how to solve any obstacle presented to you.”

You looked up at Akaashi before kissing his jaw making him chuckle. “I am hoping for the same thing too. I hope that you’ll always be the first person I get to see the when I wake up.” He smiled at you before placing a tender kiss on your forehead. “And the only person I’ll be kissing every single day,” he says after kissing your temple thrice.

You made your way towards your fridge, taking out three cans of beers and your leftover pizza, before heading towards your room. However, seeing the corridor of your apartment alone made you stop. It reminded you of the worst night of your life.

You were waiting for him to arrive, to tell him about your plans. For your shared future. You were patiently waiting near the door while glancing at your phone from time to time. You sent him multiple message, asking where he is and if he’s coming home anytime soon. You even asked his friends about his whereabouts, but none of them knew where he was.

Or maybe they do. They just don’t want to tell you where he is.

Still, you waited for him to return. Not minding the fact that you’ve been skipping your classes just to see him again. But a week later, not even his shadow visited your shared apartment. Hell, he didn’t even return to take any of his things.

The next thing you knew, your world is already crumbling into tiny bits. Crushing every hopes and dreams you’ve shared with him.

Bitter tears streamed down your face as you walk towards your room. You didn’t even bother to switch on the lights before locking the door behind you. You just. . . want to forget everything about him. You just want to let go of the pain. To move on.

You wanted to see him again. You wanted to know how he’s doing after he left. If he’s doing better without you in his life. You open one of the beers and drowned yourself in alcohol, hoping that by the time you wake up, you’ll be able to escape this hellish nightmare.

But even in your dreams, he’s there.

He was wearing one of his favorite outfit that night. The night when he first went out without giving you any heads up. Akaashi arrived at your shared apartment drunk with someone from his department. They almost fell when the two of them tried to fit at the door. You would’ve laugh if you see one of his friends. You would’ve laugh with their silliness. If only. . . if only he didn’t kiss the woman in front of you.

“Who was that?” you asked while tapping his tinted cheeks. Tears stained your cheeks as soon as the woman left your apartment. “Hey, answer me, Keiji. Who was that? Why did she kiss you?” You were wiping your tears with your free hand as your left arm supports his weight. “Kei, please. Answer me,” you begged as the two of you were at your apartment’s corridor.

“Her? She’s no one important,” he responded before pushing you away from him. He made his way towards his room with wobbly legs.

You bit your lower lip before holding his arm. “Kei, do we have a problem?” you asked, your hands becoming colder every passing second. “Am I not enough?”

“I want to sleep,” he replied, unclasping your hand from his arm. “See you tomorrow.”

The following day, it was as if he forgot everything he did last night. Until it happened again and again. Until you’ve had enough of his bullshit.

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” you asked as soon as he entered your shared apartment. With the same woman. Worst part? He smelled just like her. “Did I do anything that offended you? Did I do something wrong?”

“I’m tired!”

You scoffed. “And do you think I’m not? Huh?” you asked before pulling his arm. “Stop running away from me, Akaashi. We’ll discuss this right here, right now! I’ve had enough of your bullshit, Akaashi!”

“Fine!” he screamed. “Yes, I am fucking her and I enjoy fucking her!”

You let his arm go, as if you held a hot metal rod with your bare hands.

Your lips parted as you tried to breathe in. You couldn’t believe that you actually heard those words from him. You couldn’t believe that he changed this much. “Why? Why? Why?” you screamed while hitting his chest. “I’ve been loving you with all my heart for years! I gave you my everything! But you just—”

“—because you’re always busy! Always out with God knows who!” he screamed back, eyes filled with rage.

Your slapped his face with your shaky hands. “Fuck you and your stupid excuse!” You poked his chest. Your body was shaking with rage. “You know the reason why I’m always away. You know why. . .” Your fell on your knees while blubbering. “All this time. . .all this time. . .”

You woke up in the middle of the night and the first thing you did was respond to his message.

THE FOLLOWING DAY, you didn’t bother to wear anything fancy. You put on your black shirt and pants before heading to the meeting place you chose. It was easy to spot him from the small crowd. You sat on the empty spot beside him, your eyes glued to the children playing few meters away from you.

“What do you want?” you asked before he could even say a word. “Let’s cut to the chase, Akaashi.”

“I’m sorry.” You scoffed before looking away from the children, hoping to hide your emotion from him. “For all the pain that I’ve caused you. For all the lies that I’ve told you.”

You immediately turn your head towards him as soon as you hear him sniff. “I-I’m sorry you got hurt. . . because of everything I said. I’m sorry that I got scared.”

You wanted to wrap your arms around him. You wanted to comfort him so bad, but the pain in your chest kept you from doing so. You covered you bit the back of your hand, your shoulders shake in silence as your tears stream down youe cheeks.

“I-I got scared. . . I was scared to. . . to lose you.” Then, you both look at each other. “I was scared to hold you back.” Akaashi hold your hand before placing it on his cheek. “Y-You’re willing to give up everything you’ve dreamed of just to be with me.”

“That’s not your decision to make, Akaashi.” You respond between your sobs. “I wanted to be with you. I wanted you to be there when I achieve those dreams.” You lowered your head before meeting his gaze. “I wanted to make you proud of my achievements.” You harshly brush the tears on your cheeks. “I wanted to keep my promise to you back then while achieving my dreams. That I would never let you go. . .”

Images of you and him while dancing around your apartment appeared in your mind.

“That we’ll be there for each other no matter what happens. . .”

“I’m sorry that I messed up.”

You shook your head while pulling your hand away from him. “T-That was all in the past. Our past that we could no longer undo.” You forced a smile. “Maybe we could finally move forward after this,” you added, before standing up. “T-Thank you. For this closure.” You took a deep breath before exhaling loudly. “T-Thank you for loving me, Akaashi, I hope you’ll find the person who can. . . understand you better. Someone who can. . . love you with all their heart.”

AKAASHI wanted to go after you. To tell you that you’re still the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But guilt hold him back from chasing you. If only he didn’t crush your heart.

☾taglist: @haikyuu-ink ; @kenchiko ; @agaassi ; @benvo ; @sadsugarplumm ; @yams046 ; @ ; tba (send an ask or dm if you’d like to be added/removed!)

#keiyoomi: angst #keiyoomi: haikyū!!#hq!! angst #haikyuu!! angst #haikyuu!! x reader #hq!! x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji x reader angst #akaashi x reader #akaashi x reader angst #akaashi angst

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junewild · 3 years

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tags masterpost

a couple of people have complimented me on my new tag system and a couple of people have asked me what tags go to what sort of content, so i thought i’d write up a little masterpost of what the tags mean, where they came from, and why they’re important to me! you’ll even get a sneak peek at a few tags that are very rare or have yet to be used 👀. this will be linked in my carrd when i get around to it. i’ve even tried to alphabetize them 😅 thanks for expressing interest, it’s very lovely of you all xoxo

#and i am close behind — home tag

a continuation of “the wild geese are heading home again” which is my nature tag. just for everything that makes me feel like i am coming home.

#and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart — quotes and words tag

from a poem by e.e. cummings. “and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart / i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)”. words are just hearts speaking to each other, after all.

#and i was like *screams* — space tag

from the jenny slate drunk history nasa episode, because she somehow manages to sum up fully 80% of my feelings about the universe in that one sentence

#angstposting — disordered thoughts tag

literally just stream-of-consciousness breakdown-posting. probably block this tag. i go back and clean it out after every breakdown.

#but they are all good stories — media analysis/literature critique tag

hilary mantel (whose work i have never read) wrote that “some of these things are true and some of them lies. but they are all good stories.” anyway, that’s how i feel about taking apart stories and narratives and looking at them from the outside.

#can you not hear the ocean in me — mental health and disorders tag

the non-breakdown version. from this poem, which i can’t find anyone but i think is a deleted inkskinned or caitlyn siehl one:

“i am alive;

can you not hear the ocean in me;

are you not aware of the war i am fighting ;

i am alive ;

you cannot take that from me”

#checkmate nihilism — crafts tag

higgsboshark wrote a lovely post about how knitting is a great treatment for existential dread & now that’s all i think about every time i’m crafting. checkmate, nihilism. look at this thing that i am making with my hands. it exists and it will change someone’s life.

#dumbposting — misc tag

for tag games and dumb comments and things that don’t fit in anywhere else.

#fashion is instant language — fashion/body art tag

okay. IS this a cliche prada quote? yes. but also, one of my first classes in college was about art & society & the first thing that we learned was that the human body is the first & most primal canvas. what you do with your body is a statement, a language you are sharing with the people around you. i get very emotional about it.

#felt rather than seen — poetry tag

YES i am a BASIC WHITE GIRL, thank you. the first half of the da vinci quote. “poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen / “

#fill your arms with the pink and white flowers — spring aesthetic tag

from one of mary oliver’s slightly less well known poems.

“do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly

exclaiming of their dearness,

fill your arms with

the pink and white flowers,

with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling, their eagerness

to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are nothing

forever”

#get in good trouble — activism/politics tag

are you really living if you aren’t making trouble for someone? write more letters. leave more voicemails. go to protests. join a mutual aid group. donate. there’s something you can do, even if it’s small.

#i am building a world that is worth living for — moral living tag

slightly different from the activism tag bc this is more about what you/i can do in everyday life to make the world a better place. these are my own words, reminding me that to stay alive i have to build my own life and live in it.

#i care to look on the outside like i do on the inside — gender/ sexuality tag

maggie stiefvater is a poet.

#i have a magpie mind — happy tag

laurie graham’s version of the quote goes “i have a magpie mind, by which i mean i see and hear little things - photos, fragments of conversation - and store them away for future use,” and that’s what this tag is. just a lot of lovely things that i want to look back on.

#i think i was a selkie in a past life — ocean/beach/selkie myth tag

someday i’m going to walk into the ocean and never come out again. j promised he would take me to a warm ocean where i can stand in chest-deep waves until i can’t stand any longer and i’ve never looked forward to anything so much in my life.

#i wrote my own deliverance — creation/writing tag

this is not an admission of guilt. hamilton has a lot of words in it and these happen to be very nice.

#it would be a merrier world — food tag

because tolkien was right.

#laughter for no cause — humor tag

funny things. half of a quote by louise glück.

#let the wilderness engulf us again — discourse tag

i believe this is by christa wolf. anyway this is how i feel when i read Discourse. let’s all just get swallowed by the wilderness. who needs civilization anyway.

#loveposting — affection tag

look, i’m just really gay and happy and i love my followers and my mutuals. let’s move on

#nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it — memory/emotion tag

yes, i have read everything ever written by l m montgomery, why do you ask?

#offspring of heaven firstborn — light tag

constantly debating about whether i should change this one. i just have too many quotes about light. and too many posts about light. and too much love for light. this one is by milton, from the third book of paradise lost, and i memorized the entire chapter as a teenager because my “history” “class” believed in memorization as a form of education.

#our bodies are meant to hold other bodies — sex/eros tag

from that little comic by grendelmenz (?). i KNOW it’s about cannibalism i DON’T care don’t @ me to love is to consume

#seen rather than felt — painting/visual art tag

and here’s the other half of the da vinci quote.

#she stood in desperate music wound — music and playlists tag

from “a crazed girl” by yeats. tbh i usually lie upside down in my bed in desperate music wound but this poem kept me going as a teenager

#simply because the world is beautiful — misc tag

i just think the world is lovely and i am glad to be alive in it. this is where the rest of the assorted content goes.

#someday you will be old enough to read fairytales again — fantasy/gaming/scifi tag

cs lewis got one thing right.

#stardust will turn into kindness — joy tag

okay. okay i am still weeping about this man and his chickens. this tag is for every small creature who brings me delight. https://everychickdeservesamother.com/2019/08/17/all-the-good-there-is/

#thank god for the months after may — summer aesthetic tag

i haven’t listened to ben rector since i was seventeen but this is a good quote anyway and summer flowers are the thing that keep me going through the winter.

#the first sign of civilization is a healed femur — civilization/altruism/kindness tag

paraphrase of the famous (possibly apocryphal) margaret meade quote. i saw a criticism of it by the green brothers, who were like “but lots of people/animals show altruism without any connection to civilization (eg buildings and cities and record keeping systems)” and i deeply disagree with them. civilization doesn’t require monuments, only people coming together to build (metaphorically) something bigger than they could have done as individuals. humans aren’t the only ones on that path, just the ones who’ve gotten the furthest down it.

#the great sweeping wind — autumn aesthetic

yes i am a shameless l m montgomery stan. anne of green gables is my kindred spirit.

#the quick and the dead — fungi tag

from the bible. you know. we all sin, we’re all alive or dead or both. fungi don’t care.

#the race that knows joseph — kindred spirit tag

haven’t gotten to use this one yet. looking forward to when i do.

#the wild geese are heading home again — nature tag

shortened version of mary oliver’s poem.

#there is a history in all men’s lives — history/natural history/anthropology tag

shakespeare knew how to use words. everything is history and i am excited about ALL of it. when will someone admit me into a grad school???

#we are the children of an indifferent universe — community/fandom tag

but, like colin meloy says, we are also the inheritors of a wonderful world. i think it’s amazing how we look at the universe around us and build communities and find meaning out of sheer spite. also i have got to refine this tag set better i can’t just shove ALL fandom content into one tag. stay tuned

#we don’t love this world without reason — awe/joy tag

from catadromously’s comic. this is for things that make me go “oh.” when i see them.

#we shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us — architecture/interior design tag

churchill can have one right. architecture is one of my favorite art forms & interior design is something i love looking at and doing. someday i’ll even be able to afford it.

#we will be better than we were — recovery tag

from (yet another) caitlyn siehl poem that reads:

“love is quiet love whispers “it is okay, we will be better than we were” and we are. we are.”

and we are.

#within me; an invincible summer — winter aesthetic tag

albert camus wrote that: “in the midst of winter, i found there was, within me, an invincible summer. and that makes me happy. for it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” winters are hard for me, but i hang on anyway.

#you have no idea the joy that is coming — love tag

guess who this quote is by? if you guessed caitlyn siehl, you are correct.

#you pull out the wild in me - feral aesthetic

not feral, just… wild. i don’t know. i don’t think i made this quote up but i can’t find it anywhere else so maybe i did. i’m guessing it’s now-deleted inkskinned or bonemeadows.

#you’ve got to be kind — misc humans tag

kurt vonnegut. because yeah. we’ve got to be kind. that’s the only rule. we’re just humans and we have to be kind.

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comradesalazar · 3 years

Text

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

I will admit I got a lil Emotional that I got tagged in this but I’m so excited to go through it because this year has been SO PRODUCTIVE for me when it comes to writing. Thank you to the legend @that0negayslytherin for tagging me and the other legends, you the real MVP (and also thanks again for setting up the LV fic discord bc that place... really b Wild and really b a wonderful place to motivate each other to be our best.) Legends only!!

Anyhway! Onto this thing... I’m excited.

[rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!]

So. Most of my works from this year have been Venji related because I’m still in the deep pit of Love, Victor obsession and idk when that’ll go away. Hopefully not anytime soon because I’m having a great time and fic was an amazing way for me to improve my craft. I do have one piece of original work on this list, but the rest is fic. It’s difficult to choose favorites so I think I’ll go chronologically. A couple of these have graphics but not all of them. Anyway... let’s get into this, shall we.

Arakhne of the Floating Mountain

So this the first work I completed this year. It’s an original novella I wrote for Wattpad’s Open Novella Contest and it’s a very fun, character-centric story that reimagines Arakhne/Arachne (the one from the legend who gets turned into a spider after challenging Athena) as a lonely lesbian who lives alone on, you guessed it, a palace on a mountain in the sky, until three sisters drop by asking for her to create their coronation dresses for when they become the queens of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. The sisters (Soledad, Luna and Estelle) basically try to court her and it’s a good time. Obviously, I didn’t win the competition but it was still a really fun story for me to write and part of my journey of realizing I can create a writing habit and work on something over the course of a long time, since the only other completed long work I had was for NaNo, which was just binge-writing over 30 days before I had the chance to get bored. If you’re into magical lesbians, check it out!

The stars will love me even if you don’t

I have so much to say about this work. I started it just on a whim in August after I watched Love, Victor in July and began wanting to actually contribute to the works of fandom. Little did I know that I would be embarking on a journey of 120k words and counting, with 33 chapters. This story deals with a whole random of issues -- from long-distance relationships, substance abuse, mental health problems especially around anxiety and depression/suicidality, toxic relationships, codependency, self-harm, the project of becoming oneself and being able to manage life and navigate the world in a healthy way, all the things. In a lot of ways, it is a personal project. But also in a lot of ways I wanted to correct a lot of ideas we have about what constitutes a healthy relationship and what love should look like. There were many times when I wanted to give up on this project due to frustration and exhaustion, but I continued to work at it. I learned so much about my own capabilities, about developing a writing habit, and about what it’s like to write a behemoth of a story. It isn’t perfect by any means but I appreciate the people who have reached out to me and told me that they learned some things about themselves from reading. This is truly a labor of love and I can see that it already accomplished the goal I set for myself which was to help people. It’s lit. And thank you so much to @callmevenji for the lovely cover!! She’s a legend!!

The Thousand-Eyed Wraith (TTEW)

This was a little one-shot I wrote for the Halloween Venji Fic Fest and it takes place in the world of my original work, The Thousand-Eyed Crow. Basically, it’s about what would happen if Venji ended up in that world and had to deal with some spooky nonsense and eventually ended up joining a cult. It was fun for me because it was more stream of consciousness and post-modernist, which is very different to how I normally write but it was a really fun experiment tbh.

You Only Live Forever (YOLF)

This was another one-shot I wrote for the Fic Fest, but this one was much smuttier and mature than TTEW. I was really inspired by Beyonce’s “Partition” (the song and the video lmao) and thought it would be interesting to put Venji in a world similar to Greendale in The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina but with s*x magic, so it was essentially a Love, Victor and CAOS cross-over for grownups lol. Apparently it worked out well, though, and they ended up trying to summon Satan which went... questionably. But I had a lot of fun writing this, as well, especially when it came to sorta balancing the old-timey setting with the modern day and the smutty scenes with the softer, fluffier ones.

Part of Your World

So one day I had an idea to write a Little Mermaid-inspired Venji story that would be so sweet and romantic... And so I did. I took a lot of inspiration from several sources -- one, of course, was the Disney version of the Little Mermaid, as well as the original version which is a lot darker and more sinister, as well as mythology around sirens and selkies and just, I guess like, class warfare. So I ended up with a sorta more adult-version of the Little Mermaid where Benji gets attacked by humans and is distrustful of them until he meets Victor who is “not like other humans” and helps patch him up, and they embark on a bit of a whirlwind romance. This has been a treat to work on even though it’s probably one of my least popular fics because I imagine people are coming for something a bit more light-hearted but I’m incapable of writing something that is 100% fun and not chock full of imagery and meaning. I think this has also been the work that showcased and tested my imagery-writing and dialogue-writing abilities the most and brought out my inner poet. And once again a huge thank you to @callmevenji for the fanart, if you haven’t already followed her you should bc she’s a legend.

Dead Men Feed the Fish

Finally, my last and most recent work is also the story I worked on for NaNoWriMo this year. 63,000 words completed in less than a month, depicting the initial meeting of Venji and the way their romance develops and deepens over time. It’s just (chef’s kiss). I had originally had the idea for pirate!Venji and really wanted to write it because I was inspired by That One Scene in Pirates of the Caribbean, which is probably one of the most romantic scenes I’ve ever seen and between the only het pairing I stan. So I just had to write a story that included this scene and that allowed me to write my dream scenario of Venji out on the open seas being gay and having a good time and going on adventures and having homoerotic sword fights. This story has basically everything -- romance, action, adventure, magic/fantasy, a lil bit of spice/kink, good communication, tension, cute animals, everyone is gay, what’s not to love. I’m also looking to edit and publish traditionally so I’m in the process of fixing all that up now. And once again, thank you to @callmevenji for the brilliant fanart!

Anyway, that was that, and I hope that if you have the time and you get the chance, that you give some of my works a shot because I would be very grateful and I think you will have fun.

I’ll tag @kateis-cakeis, @g531, and I guess anyone else who wants to do this!

#long post #writing #fanfiction #love victor #venji #author #my writing #gay literature

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leqclerc · 3 years

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As a Sebchal shipper I see Sebchal nation falling into pieces while C2 and Sewis nations are rising and I’m just 😭 I really don’t like Carlos and I donno seeing Sewis hurts a bit even though I know they are a way older ship then Sebchal 😭

Are Sebchal shippers falling into pieces? Idk. 🤔 I mean there’s not a lot of new content to work with, that’s for sure, but I’m not sure what you mean by “falling into pieces”? Like people just aren’t posting about them as much or...something else? 😅

If people want to jump ship and focus on other pairings/interests or if they’re strong-willed enough to be serious about multishipping (which for some reason I just can’t bring myself to do, at least in this fandom), then...good for them I suppose? I did worry about this, and to a degree I still do...the inevitable decline of a ship that’s already peaked in popularity and has gone from like having a steady stream of new content to mere scraps or sometimes even nothing at all. And I get it, it’s hard to make something out of nothing. Especially since a lot of people are more on the casual side...we live in this world where everything is instant this, instant that, and that’s made a lot of us fickle as a result - if there’s no new content here, I’ll go somewhere else. So while, yeah, it’s hard to see people drifting (and it’ll probably only get worse as the season goes on) I also can’t...keep them here by force? I’m sure there’s a bunch of hardcore dedicated shippers too, but take away the casual fans and that definitely lowers the overall numbers. On my end the best I can do is keep talking about them, keep answering asks, keep making content - which I’ve been trying to do! The rest of it is unfortunately out of my hands for the most part. :( Shipping trends come and go, and people mostly jump on the train that carries the most cargo at the moment (i.e. has content). But you’re right, it does suck, it does hurt. It’s totally valid to feel that way! God knows I’ve been going through it on and off over the past few months, lmao.

Carlos and Charles are an interesting case because like...you can see how much Ferrari is pushing that narrative on social media, “oh they’re both young! They sometimes play the same sports in their free time! Besties!” From my observations, this strategy totally seems to be working on Twitter? Even people who liked Sebchal as a teammate lineup will react positively to such tweets, which makes me think they’re more Ferrari (Team) fans who embrace all new drivers as they join the team and are less attached to specific drivers. I’m not active on Instagram so tbh I have no idea what’s going on there and what the response has been so far. Tumblr is the one place where it’s...I haven’t seen a lot of Charles and Carlos (together) content? A lot of people still feel iffy about Carlos as a person (I’ve noticed he’s almost like a taboo topic? A lot of people just don’t want to talk about him/reblog him full stop) and I think most people that do like him were/are more on the Carlando side? Or maybe I just don’t follow the “right” people to see this kind of content on my dash, but I definitely noticed that there was a lot more buzz around the Sebchal Hourglass Challenges than there is around C-Squared or whatever they’re called. I saw a few gifsets but they were Charles-centric. Other than that, going off of dash content alone, you’d think there was no challenge video at all. Compared to the absolute frenzy Hourglass Challenges sent the dash into, people scrambling to gif/screenshot/clip the video and talk about it. It was a totally different vibe. That being said, I have seen a few Charlos (I guess that’s what we’re going with as a ship name?) shippers being open about it on here and good for them, I suppose, but yeah, at the moment I can’t see myself getting into that. Even though video content featuring these two is longer than the stuff we got with Sebchal (a 14 minute challenge video, 20 minutes of them literally just walking on treadmills against a CGI backdrop) it feels like nothing of substances actually happens in those videos? They’re just sort of nice to each other in the way that colleagues are, asking each other what sound like scripted questions and rarely improvising/going off-script in the way Sebchal would often get just organically sidetracked.

As for Seb and Lewis...I’m trying not to talk about them too much tbh because I’m trying not to get sniped, but let’s just say I was there for its “inception” in late 2015 (and even wrote fics that featured them as a pairing, although always as a foil to Brocedes) and uh...yeah. Let’s just say it’s not for me.

#replies #anonymous #sebchal anon #sebchal asks #discussions and predictions #long post

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themagicaltunaa · 3 years

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Answer all the questions

well i have nothing to do so sure

1. What have you eaten today?

some toast for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and some cereal for dinner

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

never kissed anyone, don't really care about that

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

light grey sneakers

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Jeremy did, when I was watching his Alien Isolation stream on monday

5. What is your favorite scent?

I love the smell freshly baked goods

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

I love fall. I just love the aesthetic of the season, and my favorite holiday is during fall. I would love to experience it one day

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

lol nope. I was barely able to do it as a kid. If I tried now i’m pretty sure i’ll break something.

8. What color are your nails?

the regular pink color? I don’t paint my nails

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

aw geez, uhhh idk maybe like a tiny star or something

10. What is something you find romantic?

i dont know romantic things

11. Are you happy?

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

no not really

13. Dogs or Cats?

cats. i like dogs too, but sometimes they’re too much to deal with. i’m more comfortable being with cats

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

museum

15. What is your style?

my style is “im trying”

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

stay up all night to catch up on videos

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

single babeyyyy

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

nothing, because im not attracted to anyone

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

i dont like celebrities

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

i’m pretty sure i’m holding on to a lot of stuff, but I can’t seem to remember anything specific. if this question means metaphorically, the answer still works

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I went to a drive thru haunted house with my 2 friends, and after we got some taco bell and went to the beach to eat our food. we sat there for like 10 minutes before it started to rain on us

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

nope. I try not to in general , I hate having to make any sort of big decision because I starting stressing

23. Were you ever in a school play?

I’ve always had stage fright so no

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

uhhhh, I dont watch enough movies to pick one

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

oh there’s plenty of things that I've dreamed of doing, but I just can’t do it because of anxiety

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I dont like sharing

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

uhhh idk? maybe the whole makeup culture thing? but it’s not like it irritates me I just don’t get it. I can’t really think of a second thing

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

too much to list

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

fuck if i know

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

can’t think of anything rn

31. How long was your longest relationship?

never been in one

32. Have you ever been in love?

pretty sure I have not

33. Are you currently in love?

nope

34. Why did your last relationship end?

see question 31

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

not wearing any atm. actually, I just don’t wear jewelry in general

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

I think it was last week? I don’t remember why, it was probably something stupid

37. Name someone pretty.

the anon that sent me this ask

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

oh! I got a few gifts from my bestie :)

39. Do you get jealous easily?

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

sure

42. Ever had detention?

no because I was a good bean in school

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

city. the countryside sounds nice, but just the thought of being out in the middle of nowhere especially at night makes me nervous

44. What do people call you?

by my name

45. What was the last book you read?

I do not remember. It’s been years since I’ve read a book

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

uhhh idk

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

anything that catches my fancy. I don’t really stick to one kind of genre

48. How tall are you?

my doctor said I’m allowed to say i’m 5′2

49. Do you like kids?

they’re alright. I can handle be around them for a bit, but I would never want to have any

50. Favorite fruits?

watermelon, starfruit, and tangerines

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans

52. What’s your earliest memory?

I was like 3-4, and I was at disney world with my family. I remember seeing a stage show of Bear in the Big Blue house, and I remember walking around ToonTown when it still existed

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

i hope not

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

I used to collect seashells as a kid and I still have some of the collection somewhere in my closet. I wanna start a new collection of something but idk what

56. Do you save money or spend it?

i try to save it

57. What would your dream house be like?

something cozy and not too big, with a cat or 2

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

its 11pm at the time of answering this, i really can’t think of anything to fill a list rn

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

see the previous question

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog. i hate my job anyways so I don’t care

61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I would definitely tell my closest friends, and some of my family members, probably my mom’s side of the family. If I had the money to, I would like to travel to some places that i’ve always wanted to go to. I would have a month to accept that i’m gonna die so i think i would be fine. i’d rather get plenty of time to know i’m dying rather than like last minute. this has been a topic that i’ve been thinking of for a while now, not because I’m like thinking about death or anything, I just need something to kill time with at work

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

a heart?

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

aw cmon, I can’t just think of stuff like that on the spot. I don’t even know where I would want to go

64. Do you like the beach?

It’s nice, especially in the early morning when everything is still calm and the beach isn’t packed with people yet

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

no? wtf does someone special mean?

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Doesn’t everyone have a middle name? But yeah i do and i hate it so im not saying anything

67. Do you talk to yourself?

in my head all the time

68. Describe your hair.

brown, curly, very long because I haven’t cut it in almost a year, it’s very annoying

69. What is the meaning of life.

I wish i knew

70. What is your ideal partner like?

no one

71. Do you want to get married?

72. Do you want to have kids?

ew no

73. Like or dislike your family?

they’re bearable

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

I’m more than chunky, i’m just straight up fat

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

lol no. I’m an absolute dumbass

76. What would you change about your life?

everything if i could

77. Religious or Not?

no not really

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

I don’t drink so this would never happen

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

it sure isnt because no one is there

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

uhhhh no. I don’t really care tbh

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

idk

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

i’m not opening the door because no one is there

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

ehh not really. It’ll just make it frizzy

84. Do you like bubble baths?

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

I need to drive in order for that to happen

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

no. its not fun getting soaked in the rain

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

not really?

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

why does god allow suffering

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

1.greece

2. peru

3.disney world only because I have not been to all the parks yet, also i can bug my brother while i’m there

theres a lot more but i’m too tired to fill out the rest of the list

90. How was your day today?

it was fine

91. Play an instrument?

used to play mellophone/french horn in band in high school. after I graduated I haven’t touched an instrument since

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

it’s scary

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

aliens as anything that counts as a living organism not of this world, not green little men from mars nonsense. the universe is too big for only life to be on earth. for ghosts, i’m still iffy about them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start walking around haunted places and call the ghosts a bitch

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

abosolutely not. every day I regret all the decisions i’ve made through my life. does that mean I’m trying to fix said mistakes or try not to do them again? lol no

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

in my mind i do. I’m too scared of everyone to actually do it

96. When are you vulnerable?

always

97. How much free time do you have?

doesn’t feel like much. saturday and sunday go by way too fast and i feel like when i go home from work theres just not enough to relax. im tired all the time

98. Do you like to go hiking?

never been

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

even

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

no because I actually have self preservation. I am also a very big chicken

#wow this sure took a while #im gonna go knock out now #Tuna's posts #Anonymous

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stenbrozier · 4 years

Text

48 Hours (Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader)

Plot: You knew that Eddie loved you, but ever since high school started, you noticed how he stared at Richie. You simply had to ask what the deal was and if you were even still his.

Warnings: Slight platonic!Reddie, bi!Eddie (which is my favorite hc of him and tbh the only one I believe), mention of past parental divorce, trust issues + swearing

Based off of the song 48 Hours by fredo disco

A/N: Listen, I feel like Richie would be really big into, like, protesting and shit. Read my headcanon of Teen!Richie if you wanna see why :) Also this is set when they’re high school seniors, so roughly around 1994!

——————————————————————————

The lunch room was bursting with noise as you walked in with your boyfriend, Eddie, and your small group of friends. He held your hand loosely in his, and you noticed how all of his attention was on Richie as he yelled something about the big “LGBT” rights protest that was going on in Bangor the Saturday coming up, trying to recruit you and the rest to go.

“Rich, who’s even gonna take us,” Stan said, rolling his eyes. “It’s not like we can just ask one of our parents to take us to a fucking gay rights protest!” Bill furrowed his eyes at Stan.

“U-use th-the right term-terminology.” Bill playfully glared at Stan while Stan just simply rolled his eyes back in return. You guys came upon an empty table, all taking your seats and continuing the conversation.

“I mean, maybe my mom would take us,” you said softly. The entire group looked up at you. “She probably already knows about it.” Richie looked at you with confusion, then smiled.

“Holy fuck! I forgot your mom was gay,” he laughed as the rest of the group laughed, too. “We all wouldn’t fit into her car though.”

“I mean I wouldn’t go,” Eddie said. You looked over at him with a frown on your face, making his heart feel like it was just punched. He looked back down at the table, taking his hand from yours. “My mom would never let me. Y-you guys know how she is.”

“Come on Eds,” Richie said as he reached across the table and tapped Eddie’s elbow. “Rebel for once in your life.” Eddie looked up from the table and stared at Richie, a small smile coming across his face, which perfectly matched the smile that Richie was giving him. “You can’t fucking submit to her for the rest of your life.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said as a blush crept onto his cheeks. He looked over at you, smiling at you like a goof. “I’ll come with you guys.” You smiled, leaning in to kiss him softly on the cheek. His arm slowly wrapped around your waist, but his grip was soft and loose.

“Okay,” you replied. “You guys can come over maybe Friday after school and we’ll ask my mom. She can’t so ‘no’ to all of us.” Bill laughed from next to you. Eddie moved his arm from around you suddenly, and then he stood up and walked over to Richie, whispering to him quietly. You felt tears well up in your eyes, and you looked up at Bev, nodding your head towards the girls’ bathroom door that stemmed off the cafeteria. You stoop up fast and grabbed your bag as your scurried out of the situation. You heard Bev’s heeled boots from behind you, and you could tell that she was desperately trying to catchup to you. As soon as you got into the bathroom, you threw your backpack into the corner, looking up at her with hot tears steaming down your face.

“Why are you crying, darling,” she asked sympathetically as she wrapped her arms around your shoulders. “Is it cause if Eddie? He’s acting a little off.” You nodded, burying your face into her neck.

“I think...I think he’s in love with Richie,” you said softly. The confession caused more tears to stream down your face. Bev pulled you away from her, staring into your glossy eyes.

“He loves you,” Bev said reassuringly. “Richie is his best friend and Richie’s been partying a lot and not spending to much time with him, so he’s probably a little deprived of his attention.” She pulled you in front of the mirror, grabbing paper towels out of the dispenser and dabbing underneath your eyes. “You’re his everything, (Y/N). Eddie would never leave you for anyone, let alone Trashmouth.” You laughed at Richie’s old nickname, one that no one had heard since the summer of ‘89.

“But,” you looked over at her through your glassy eyes. “Bev, this has been going on for months.” She sighed, bringing you into a hug. “And I have no question that he loves me and cares about me, I just don’t know if it’s romantically or platonically.” The bell rang and she grabbed your backpack for you and handed it to you as you walked out of the bathroom to head to class.

“Then you should tell him,” Bev said softly as she planted a kiss on your temple and went off to walk with Ben. Eddie came up from behind you, giving you a small smile and a kiss on the cheek and it calmed your anxieties for a moment. You looked up at him and grasped for his hand.

“Do you wanna come to mine after school,” you asked him. “I-I wanted to ask you something.” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, pulling you over to the side of the hallway.

“Are you okay, babe,” he asked as he reached up to stroke your cheek with his thumb. You shrugged, not really wanting to delve into everything until you were both alone. “You’re my girl, remember that.” You rolled your eyes at his attempt to make you feel better, though it did make you blush slightly.

“I know, Wheezy,” you said, laughing at the face he made after you said his least favorite nickname. “We’ve gotta get to Calc, let’s go.” You reaches out for his hand and dragged him along. You liked these moments; the small moments where it just felt like you and him and there was nothing that could possibly come between you two.

———————

You walked into your house, hearing your dog bark loudly as you let Eddie in before locking the door again. Your German Shepard, Rocco, came bounding down the steps, and he went right over to Eddie. Eddie smiled as he leaned down and scratched behind his ear. You ruffled Eddie’s hair, nodding your head up the steps as you lead him to your bedroom. Rocco followed closely behind, jumping onto your bed before you had even stepped foot into the room. When you got into your room, you shut the door and walked up to Eddie. You give a him a passionate kiss on the lips before sitting down next to your dog.

“What’d you wanna talk about,” Eddie asked just above a whisper as he squeezed in next to you, holding your waist with his left arm. “Are you insecure in the relationship? B-because we can talk things out and just try to see where you’re not comfortable and” You cut him off with a sob. He looked at you with concern. “What?! Did I say something? Baby, look at me.” You wiggled our of his grasp, standing up and pacing the room before you looked at him.

“Do you love Richie?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “C-cause you stare at him all the time and he stares right back and I don’t know if I’m fucking paranoid or if you love him.” You looked over at him, and he almost started to cry at the hurt in your eyes.

“Why the fuck would I love Richie,” Eddie asked softly. “You’re all I could want. You’re my girl, (Y/N). I tell you that everyday.” He reached out for your hand, but you pulled away. He sighed, standing up and running his hands through his hair. “Okay, maybe, I think Richie is attractive, but that doesn’t mean that I love him. He’s my best friend, babe.” You scoffed bitterly and felt more tears well up in your eyes.

“You should be more outright with your feelings, Kaspbrak,” you whispered. “You should’ve told me this from the beginning.” Eddie stopped in his tracks, giving all of his attention to you as you spoke. “You know my trust issues, especially with my parents divorce and everything, but I get it. If I’m being honest, we’ve probably all had a stupid crush on Richie.” Eddie sighed, sitting down next to you.

“It isn’t, or wasn’t, just a stupid crush,” Eddie said meekly. You looked at him confused. He sighed, holding his hands to his face as he amped himself up to tell you. “R-Richie and I, we, uh, we were a thing back in eighth grade.” You heart skipped a beat when he told you. “It-it wasn’t anything super duper big, just us both trying to figure out everything, sexuality wise. That’s how I found out I was bi, (Y/N). And I know I should’ve told you before, but I sometimes think about it because I’m forever grateful for it.”

“What do you mean grateful? Like grateful that you were able to discover that part of you with your best friend?” Eddie nodded, looking up at you. “Wow, Ed. I-okay. I’m sorry for being a jealous bitch.” You rubbed your tears away from your cheeks and h grabbed your wrist, bringing it to his mouth so he could kiss your hand.

“Baby, I love you,” he whispered against your skin. “I love only you.” Eddie let go of your hand, pulling you to him by your upper arms and wrapping them around himself. He laced his fingers into your hair and stuffed his face into the side of your neck, letting you sniffle and get rid of your tears. You pushed back, moving your hands to hold his cheeks.

“I love you, too, Eddie,” you softly responded, rubbing your thumbs over the light dust of freckles on his face. You were pulled out of your trance when Rocco bumped your leg, wagging his tail. You knelt down the floor, scratching your dog behind the ear as he panted and kicked his leg on the floor.

“I think he wants to eat. Or go outside,” Eddie said as you laughed, grabbing his hand and beckoning Rocco to follow you both down the steps.

#it chapter two #it chapter one #it chapter one imagines #eddie kaspbrak #eddie kaspbrak x reader #bill denbrough x reader #stan uris x reader #richie tozier x reader #beverly marsh x reader #ben hanscom x reader #mike hanlon x reader #masterlist

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uwunnie · 4 years

Text

Updates (December 17, 6:30 PM US Mountain Time)

There’s a lot to unpack, so let’s get into it.

Voting:

Seoul Music Awards

Android link

Apple link

3 votes daily

Voting ends January 22, 2020

Global Disk Awards

App link

3 daily votes & 2 additional votes if you share the link (there’s full instructions on the link)

Voting ends December 27, 2019

Global Golden Hands (fan-video for Wonho)

Stream the video

There’s also a poll on their YouTube channel page, I think, but I can’t pull it up from my app right now.

Voting ends December 20, 2019

HoneyPop Artist of the Year

Vote here

Twitter: #VoteTHPMonstaX

Voting ends December 20, 2019 - 11:59 PM EST

Idol Champ (Best Song)

Download app

I think you get 30 votes per day

This ends today, but I’m pretty sure there’s always new categories to vote in.

Streaming:

Middle of the Night

Follow and Someone’s Someone on Spotify (Spotify Awards)

Follow performance (MAMA 2019)

Forever & Never Die (MAMA 2019)

MX Moments (MAMA 2019)

⚠️ Remember to not skip ads nor put the videos on the mute. Do not replay otherwise the algorithm thinks you’re a bot. Watch the entire video - especially the mv - without pausing or skipping. Don’t play Spotify songs on loop, and listen to at least 30 seconds otherwise it won’t count. ⚠️

Twotuckgom videos:

I made a playlist of all the recent ttg videos. Please stream them! Minhyuk has mentioned that he wishes there were more views so that they could gain more publicity, so let’s stream them for him and all of OT7!

Playlist here.

Concerts:

Japanese MBB did the OT7 fan chant at MX’s most recent show in Japan.

At one of the recent shows, MBBs holding Wonho slogans and signs were encouraged by the boys to raise them higher.

If I’m correct, I believe Jooheon actually had a ment where he encouraged MBB to raise their signs up. He mentioned that the signs were very beautiful and that he wanted to see them and asked MBB to raise them up one more time. He didn’t specify exactly which signs, but it’s pretty easy to assume he was referring to the Wonho ones because of him mentioning he noticed MBB were hesitant to hold them up and MBB tweeting from that show explained how the ones holding Wonho signs were afraid of holding them up because they didn’t know if they could.

@joohoneybunch created an OT7 fan chant for their final jingle performance and I believe mbb used it

I think that may be it for concerts.

Appearances:

Going back a bit, Monsta X won two awards at MAMA 2019.

Fast-forwarding to more recent events, the active members went to the US for Jingle Ball and it wasn’t too chaotic.

Changkyun said Monsta Truck is about a truck for Monbebe that he wants us all to get on..sure, yeah, def.

When prompted to answer what MBB have taught MX, Minhyuk said ‘love,’ Hyungwon said ‘live,’ and Shownu said ‘dougie.’

They appeared on Ryan & Kelley.

Their B96 interviews are up!

Here’s a Spotify link, but I think there’s videos up on YouTube as well - especially their performances.

VLives were done.

Jooheon had fallen ill prior to coming to the US, but he’s since returned and informed everyone at the last US concert that he’s okay. In addition, at one of the recent shows, he said how MBB have been his strength for getting through his mental and physical sickness.

Back in SK, ISAC commenced and it was...chaotic good?

MX was two hours late - I presume because they had just flown in from America and went directly to ISAC.

MBBs attending ISAC fell asleep while waiting and one of the managers told them to wake up because it was “time to support.” 🥺

MBB said the food provided didn’t taste good.

Minhyuk told MBB to go home and rest.

MX only participated in the categories they had to - I think they were hoping to get banned tbh.

Despite their semi-obvious efforts to lose, MX ended up going to finals.

In addition, despite their efforts to lose and the fact that they had absolutely zero practice beforehand, arrived late, and just came back from the US with probably less than four hours of sleep - they won second place overall.

Hyungwon wore this shirt:

Kihyun basically dyed his hair blue after MBB talked about it on fc.

They’re aware of everything we’ve adopted and bought for them.

SBS/KBS:

The top two major news angencies played OT7 footage when talking about MX. This is very unusual, but a good sign because usually when an idol is terminated and/or no longer respected, they get blurred from footage or cropped out, but there was actually a Wonho focus throughout most of the broadcasts’ durations.

This could hint that the general public no longer views him negatively.

In addition to new merch for the active members, from my understanding, Twotuckgom has also restocked old Bebegom products, and continues putting a small BBG in the comics.

They also had one comic in particular that showcased one of the goms as a magician who is looking for the ‘rabbit in its hat.’ When it looks inside it’s hat, there’s another gom dresser as a bunny lifting weights with a little BBG hidden in the background. I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like they’re finding Bebegom like we’re finding Wonho.

TTG’s Twitter also retweeted a rendition that a MBB made of the goms involved in the The Ugly Duckling (I think?) fairytale. Basically, Bebegom leaves because it doesn’t feel like it belongs and the other goms search everywhere until they find each other again.

There are projects going on, but I’m not going to post about any until I research them. There’s certain groups I do not support because their intentions are ill, but they hide behind a sort of..veil. When I get time to properly look into everything, I’ll make a post.

Searches have been cleared for the most part, but please continue a little bit more since some bad things still pop up when searching certain members.

Interesting things are happening with the 🐍🐍, but I’m not going to talk about it publicly. Maybe at some point I’ll release a post, but not until more info emerges.

In the meantime, please refrain from leaving negative comments on either of their social profiles. Don’t make posts, either - even if you think your profile is small enough that no one will see. Trust me, eyes are everywhere and a negative post on an account with so much as 0 followers will still pop up and travel like one for someone with 1000 followers.

I think this pretty much sums up what’s been happening as of late. Sorry for being slow - all of this occurred during finals, so I didn’t really have a lot of time to make long posts. Now that I’m on break for a month, I’ll catch up with the recaps and go back to the steady updates.

Continue with your efforts and try to ignore the hypocrites who continue spewing toxicity despite spreading positive mantras.

Honestly, Monbebes have accomplished a lot and made steps towards a positive change in both the industry and the world. In addition, at the end of the day, our goal isn’t to please other fandoms, but win justice for Wonho and other artists who have been wronged, as well as prevent the wrongdoings from incoming and current trainees.

Be proud of being part of the “sticky-note fandom” because regardless of other people’s opinions, we’re not only inspiring and demanding change, but succeeding in doing so.

#monsta x #wonho #shownu #minhyuk #kihyun #hyungwon #jooheon #changkyun #updates #monbebe #im #joohoney #my favorite thing about inserting 'read more' links from desktop is that all of the color coding i did on mobile disappears lol #anyways #i scheduled this to post at the wrong time so v sorry lol #i also didn't proof read so sorry if there's grammar errors lol i'm tired

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dearmrsawyer · 4 years

Text

@kaspbrakeddie tagged me to do this thank you so much!! This is going to be further evidence of the disaster that takes place when i’m asked to make decisions!!!

Rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, tag some other people

Lost

Supernatural

Fringe

Community

The Flash

i’m really not sure who is invested enough in tv shows to want to do this! i’m going to tag @nightwideopen @gratitudecafe @gloryhalleloujah @candybarrnerd but please please if you love tv please do this. i’d love to know what shows you love and also your answers.

i feel bad about the length of this so i’m going to put it under a cut

who is your favorite character in 2?

(supernatural) mr sam winchester my first and dearest love! lately i’ve been stopping a lot and thinking about the fact that i’ve followed his journey for FIFTEEN YEARS which is more than half my life and that i love his character just as much now as i did back then! and he’s grown and changed and evolved a lot, and my reasons for loving him have grown and changed and evolved as well!

who is your least favorite character in 1?

(lost) oh, i guess of the main characters probably Michael, he/his backstory just wasn’t as interesting as the rest of the survivors, but he DID have tough competition.

what is your favorite episode of 4?

(community) IMPOSSIBLE. gah picking FAVOURITES if my life depends on picking favourites i will surely die. okay i don’t know if this is truly my favourite but whenever i’m asked to pick a standout Community episode i always think of “Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design” with the mysterious night school. just so STUPID. just peak stupidity i love it with my whole heart.

what is your favorite season of 5?

(the flash) ok ok i’m going to go with season 5 aka the season with Nora! oh what a GIFT. making my most beloved characters have to take on the role of father? oh yes give it to me >:) give it to me all the way i’ll take it deep into my heart.

who is your favorite couple in 3?

(fringe) well Peter and Olivia are one of the few couples in the show but they are one of my fav couples in general re: television so i’m happy to go with them! honourable mention for Alt!Livia and Lincoln tho ;__;

who is your favorite couple in 2?

(supernatural) there hasn’t been a single successful romance in 15 years so jkdgdfjklgdjl tbh tho Sam and Eileen have really hit my heart hard, i haven’t been invested in any of the romances that cropped up over 15 years because i knew there was no point! but even if Sam and Eileen aren’t endgame their brief flicker really touched me.

what is your favorite episode of 1?

(lost) finally an easy favourite omg my favourite episode is the FINALE. in all honesty my most special tv experience ever, like the most moving... the most moving and emotional and satisfying and fulfilling thing i’ve ever had the pleasure to watch on screen, just the most beautiful episode! the most! beautiful! episode of television i’ve ever seen! i remember that night so clearly, and how i felt at every moment, and how i felt after. just so beautiful!! and not for everyone i know but really for me! REALLY so special for me!

what is your favorite episode of 5?

(the flash) i love the episode “Welcome to Earth-2″ when Barry and Cisco travel to Earth 2, that episode is so so funny and their run-ins with Barry’s doppelganger omg. its one of the episodes that makes me laugh soo much

what is your favorite season of 2?

(supernatural) well this is difficult since there are FIFTEEN. a season that always stood out for me was season 8! i’m tempted to choose one of the most recent seasons but let’s give a throwback shout out to season 8, which gave us the first real angel storyline and was sooooooooooooo good, and one of the best season finales of the entire series!!! i LOVE the arc of that season. i feel like after Eric Kripke stepped down post-season 5 the show took a couple of years to find its feet, i really enjoyed season 6 and 7 but i could tell they hadn’t quite nailed a big picture plan yet, you know? it felt a bit like living season to season, which is not how supernatural works best since its got such an epic premise. but season 8 really found its big picture feet and i distinctly remember feeling the seeds of it begin to plant, and regaining that feeling from the earlier seasons where we were headed somewhere bigger!

how long have you watched 1?

(lost) it finished in 2010 but i watched from the very first episode to the very last as their aired! it’s been so many years since i’ve watched any of my tv on tv, it feels so foreign to look back and think, that’s how i watched lost for its entire run! i watched it on tv every week with all the ads and the waits and i loved every second of it! i wouldn’t have changed that experience for the world. even before streaming got so big, i couldn’t do that for long after lost because my internet behaviour changed, and it just wasn’t feasible to wait until shows reached Australian tv. i would’ve been spoiled as soon as it aired in the US, before it came here 4 months later. i do genuinely miss that a lot. i liked the ritual of an episode a week at a time outside my choosing, when i knew millions of others were watching it too. i’m so glad that’s how i watched lost. my experience was wonderful because of it.

how did you become interested in 3?

(fringe) i genuinely. don’t remember? i feel like it may have been the fact that it was a JJ Abrams production, and after Lost i was so eager for anything JJ had touched. i started watching it not long before Lost finished so it gave me something to think deeply about in the void Lost left behind lol.

who is your favorite actor in 4?

(community) oh well i think Donald Glover gave some of the best comedic performances in the show, but also the DEAN. what didn’t he give as a performer rofl.

which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

(lost, supernatural, the flash) Lost is my fav show of all time hence why it is #1!

which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

(lost, fringe) I’ve seen all the episodes of everything on my list!? That is why i’ve picked them! There are more episodes of Lost so i would say Lost!

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

(community) oh brother let’s not delve too deep here, annie for her wardrobe lol.

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

(fringe, community) that would be incredible. that would be. but which show’s perspective would the crossover be from? because i think they would deliver different tones! i would sort of like it to be from Fringe’s perspective to see how on earth they’d handle being confronted with the tone of Community.

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

(lost) i am NOT interested in playing with the author’s will but look, i think pairing just about anyone with Sawyer would have interesting repercussions. mostly because even though he is supposed to be prickly i think (esp with his character growth) he is probably the character most likely to be widely compatible. Sawyer and Sun! Okay! i’m picking Sawyer and Sun.

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

(fringe, the flash) Fringe had some of what Lost had, which was beautifully intricate storytelling that for me just sits above most television. I really do hold those shows on a pedastool and so of these options i have to pick Fringe, because i would probably pick it over anything except Lost.

which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

(supernatural, community) okay okay since supernatural doesn’t really have theme music are we counting Carry On My Wayward Son as its theme music? Because............. i may have to go with that.

#meme

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jlf23tumble · 4 years

Note

You are talking about a sitter where Louis can’t even acknowledge that he has primary custody of his own son. Are you really expecting people to believe that this is Louis’s choice or that Eleanor has it harder? I have seen all the gifs and I have never seen Louis as closed off as he was on the deck of the boat in Formantera or fend someone off out of his personal space like he does with Eleanor. He’s warm and affectionate with the people he likes and that doesn’t include Eleanor.

anon 2: So Eleanor is done with the stunt, Louis and his family are done, but nobody could find a way to end the relationship and still release Louis’s album? They’ve been together again 3 years now. Are you telling me the relationship couldn’t have quietly ended 6 months ago? I guess if they did they couldn’t have hauled Eleanor out to the airport for a pap walk when Louis got busted returning from Liam’s birthday in Ibiza. Though it begs the question as to why Louis couldn’t have been there publicly.

anon 3: As though Louis wasn’t high as fuck in Portofino. He wasn’t quite bouncing in the streets like the night with the V for Victory jumper but it was pretty darn close. That’s why they go clubbing so much. The difference between his body language that day and two days later makes it obvious. Then of course in candids she’s always trailing behind him (or vice versa), sitting on the ground ignored, standing next to him at weddings being ignored. He’s never shown her genuine affection this time around.

—————-

I have no idea if these are all from the same team, but I’m gonna group ‘em and give you the shots you want so I can move on with my Forum-venting life. At the end of the day, I don’t care all that much–I’m no hand-wringer–but it really chaps my hide when people go after El for doing her job, so I’ll bite. Ultimately, Louis is in the closet–we can all agree on that point (except for that one harrie I follow, godddd, the times I’ve stared at the wall thanks to her, but I digress). Is it his choice? His team’s? His label’s? All three? Probably! But ultimately, that’s where he is, and that means he has to perform heterosexuality for us all, and god bless him, he’s terrible at it (plus, the smart money is on him dropping an album with at least one ode to long-term love and its struggles), so someone has to play the role of long-term girlfriend. At the moment, this is the lowest-key, lowest-effort girlfriend-for-a-gay-man show in recent memory, but the rancor aimed at ANYONE in this role is, uh, somethin’ else, and the rancor aimed at this girl in particular is, UH, SOMETHIN’ ELSE. I just ate a bag of chocolate-covered espresso beans, which means my ability to weave an articulate narrative for all three of these asks is out the window, so I’ll do this by the numbers instead. Putting it under the cut because I’m probably gonna go long, lmao

anon 1: I have no idea who has primary custody of Louis’s own son, and I have no idea what Louis’s innermost feelings are for Eleanor (spoiler alert: neither do you), but I don’t think you’ve seen gifs or videos or anything past specific edits. And here’s why, check out this evidence of Louis being closed off on the deck of a boat (exhibits a and b). If you want to watch some video in full, you’ll see that the situation seems pretty amiable (cordial, coworkers who don’t hate each other, but hate their current work assignment…if he’s closed off to anything, it’s to the known intrusion of the Daily Mail’s crack video/film/photo squad):

Here we see more proof that Louis isn’t as warm and affectionate with El as he is with other people (again, I read annoying/annoyed sibling vibes, but this was an insane series of photos on every level, you could pick from it all day long):

I get a lot of anons pointing to El’s “sour” disposition and body language (or Louis’s) and reading it as them hating each other. Maybe they hate being filmed for whatever bullshit they’re being filmed for. Maybe they hate all the editing and hand-wringing and social media commentary. But just because you don’t like the overall situation, saying that they hate each other is just as eye-roll-inducing as the Mail saying they’re loved up when they run pictures of them staring in opposite directions. Saying that they aren’t affectionate with each other, yet never looking at pictures beyond those cherry-picked (and tagged) for you is myopic. I guarantee if you watch the full video or set of shots, there’s touching and monkeying around and standing awkwardly and looking pissed off and all of it is done in about five minutes, end of werk assignment, cut and paste as you see fit.

anon 2: A LOT has gone on with Louis’s schedule and album and family, so trying to apply calendars to what “should” have happened (especially since none of us has actually heard the whole album) is the worst kind of speculation (read: wholly uninformed). I’m still gonna bet that this is an album about enduring love in the face of all kinds of struggles, so why would they break up right before it’s released? What sort of promo would that look like? What is Louis gonna say: “Yes, this song is about my girlfriend…Eleanor….who I loved endlessly, we shared a single bed and talked about our hopes and dreams, we truly made it, oh, oops, yeah, we broke up three months ago because my family is “done” with this stunt, stream Walls!” What any of ANY of this has to do with an airport and Ibizia and Liam, I don’t even know, and I’m way too tired to guess.

anon 3: I have no doubt that Louis (and the rest of these men, tbh) is high as a kite and/or slightly tipsy to get through more than half the shit he has to get through. The idea that he always has to be pictured clubbing so he has an excuse to be drunk to get through it is hilarious, though, given that all of them have been drunk at all hours of the day, doing innocuous things, without the need for any kind of excuse to do it. I still imagine it’s stressful and anxiety-provoking because of the situation itself, knowing that you’re going to be filmed and dissected from EVERY angle, that you have to perform heterosexuality in some kind of convincing way. Saying things like “He’s never shown her genuine affection this time around” just proves you haven’t bothered to look at video (when it exists), unedited snapchat vids, photos that aren’t cropped. I mean, NEVER? I hate to break it to you, but none of us looks turned on for 100% of a wedding or at a club…we just don’t have all the footage to show the full picture.

#me: i don't want to deal with anymore El asks #also me: let me just answer all of these and bring a hellstorm my way #i blame those beans!!#the true irony is that i'm not an El champion #i just hateeeeee the misogyny so goddamned much

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sakiye · 4 years

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The Coffeeshop Fantasy - Chapter 1

So this is chapter 1 of my coffeeshop Joavin fic cuz goddamn if I’m not gonna contribute some content of one of my favorite ships.

And Tbh I’m pretty happy about this since this is my first time writing in a while so I hope you like this! Also, the title of the story will be changed.

Chapter 1:

The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted out from the coffee shop and Kevin smiled as he walked in. He always liked this, one of the reasons he hadn’t quit his job yet. He checked in and took his place behind the counter, saying hi to his co-worker Betty, and Veronica before making sure that everything was set up for the day ahead.

At 7 sharp, the doors had opened and the steady stream of people started to come in. Kevin easily took their orders and gave the drinks. It was easy to get lost in the routine. Smile. Take their order. Give it to the others. And give it to the customer when it was done. A simple routine that worked wonders. Kevin quite liked routines. They were easy to follow and made everything organized. And so, Kevin let his mind wander as he worked, allowing it to drift to a movie he watched recently. Love Simon was the name. He often liked to think about finding someone for himself like how Simon found Bram. It wasn’t like he was desperate, it was just that, he wanted someone to be intimate with.

He brought himself back to earth and continued his routine, first getting a frappuccino for Mr. Mantle, and then a latte for Ms. Andrews, who was back in town for a bit. At 7:30 AM, a guy with a leather jacket walked in. Kevin noticed him because of his eyes. He doubted that anyone could have missed the guy’s eyes. It was a striking blue that he would probably not forget anytime soon.

He quickly looked away and back at Ms. Lodge who was looking at him weirdly. ‘Sorry ma’am. I will get your drink to you right away”, he says quickly. He smiles at her before turning around and passing the order to Betty.

He turns around and sees the next customer was the guy from before. The guy was wearing a smirk as he looked at Kevin. “4 black coffees please”, he says, before smiling at Kevin.

Kevin was silent for a moment. “Damn his eyes are really blue.”, he thinks before quickly saying, “Yes of course”, and nodding before turning around to give the order to Betty. He turned around and smiles at the guy and says, “Your drinks will be done shortly”. The guy nods and grins before moving to a table.

When the guy’s drinks are finished, he calls the guy’s order number and the guy comes back and takes the drinks and smiles at Kevin, before winking at him and leaving.

“Wow. That was something, He thinks, standing still for a minute before going to the next customer.

During his break, he met up with Betty and Veronica to get lunch. They all walked to a nearby fast food place, bought their food and sat down.

“Well, Kevin’s got himself an admirer.”, Veronica says, in a sing song way.

“What? No way.”, Kevin said, already turning red.

Betty chuckles. “Did you see the way he was looking at you?”.

“No? And forget about it. Anyway, what’s with you two?”, Kevin asks, eager to change the subject.

Veronica instantly saw through him, but laughed and started talking about her and Betty’s visit to New York.

Kevin smiled and listened as they told their story about the fancy stores and the Broadway shows.

And no lunch was complete without Kevin bringing out his daily cupcakes that he bought from the cafe. He passed them around and enjoyed being with his friends and having a good time.

The rest of the day, Kevin was thinking about that dark haired stranger. And when he went back home, it was hard to get the other man’s smirk out of his mind.

“Oh well. I’m probably not seeing him again.”, he finally says to himself before falling asleep.

“Well, that was a lie.”, Kevin says to himself as he sees the guy walk in again the next day. The guy in question looks at Kevin and grins when they make eye contact. Kevin smiles back at him and almost spills a customer’s drink on his hands. The guy tries to stifle a laugh, which makes Kevin chuckle sheepishly before passing the drink to the customer.

When it was the guy’s turn to order, Kevin smiled at him, and asked him for his order. The guy gave the order, 4 black coffees, before slipping a note to him.

Kevin took it curiously, planning to look at it later. The guy just smiled at him before going back to wait for the drinks.

After the guy left, Kevin opened the note and read it.

Meet me during your break. At the fence near the cafe.

“Ok?”, he thinks, before stuffing the note in his pocket and continuing his work, eagerly waiting for the time to pass till his break.

When his break came, he almost ran to the fence, but managed to slow himself down and walk at a brisk pace instead. He stood there, waiting, and looking around for the other man.

He stood there for a bit, and looked around when the guy wasn’t there. He sighs before getting his stuff and beginning to leave.

Right as he picks up his bag, he sees the guy running up. “Oh wow. You actually came”, the guy says hiding his shock, before grinning and walking over.

Kevin puts his stuff back down and smiles.

“Well, I mean, you did invite me here.”, He says, actually looking at the guy.

“Wow. This guy’s hot.”, Kevin thinks, before wondering why the guy wanted him there.

All he saw was a grin from the guy before the guy kissed him. And surprisingly, he kissed back.

And before he knew it, he and the guy were making out like their lives depended on it.

Somehow, the guy’s arm had snaked around his waist and Kevin’s fingers had found the other man’s hair.

When they broke apart, they stood near each other, breathing for a bit before the guy says,“Call me Joaquin”, cracking a smile.

Kevin took Joaquin’s phone and put his number in. “Call it”, he says before internally smiling as Joaquin raises his eyebrows in amusement and nods before saying “I will”.

Joaquin then grinned at him before, waving and turning around and walking away.

“Holy shit”, Kevin mouths before starting to go back to the store. When he goes back, he realizes that his hair was messed up from before, and so he frantically tried to tame it before he had to start work again.

Veronica saw him come in and raised her eyebrows. “Hey Betty! Kevin got some!”, causing Betty to join them and smile.

“Who was it? C'mon tell us everything!”, She says, before laughing as Kevin turns more red before muttering,“It was that guy, Joaquin.”.

“So you got a name!”, Veronica said, wiggling her eyebrows. Betty grinned as she listened.

“Okay. Okay, we’ll leave you alone now, but you gotta tell us everything soon”, Veronica says as they start their work again.

Kevin sighed in relief as they went back.

When he finished the movie, he went up to his room and checked his phone.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, even if Kevin found himself thinking about Joaquin.

Tagging:

When he got back home, he settled down in front of the couch and decided to watch a movie. He soon found himself putting on Tangled for the 50th time this month and instantly became engrossed in the movie.

“Damn. No text. Oh well. I’ll see him tomorrow”, he says to himself before putting down the phone and trying to fall asleep.

Soon, he fell asleep, having found a new appreciation for his job.

Tagging:

@stardust-revengers

#joavin #joaquin x kevin #riverdale #riverdale fanfic #joavin fanfiction #joaquin desantos #kevin keller #sruthi writes joavin

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btgalaxy · 5 years

Text

Moonlight ~ Jungkook wolf!au

➳ pairing: jungkook x reader

➳ genre: wolf!au, a little bit of everything tbh; angst, fluff, smut

➳ word count: 3.8k

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Chapter 2

Marcus agrees to allow Red Moon pack to accommodate a nearby hotel, while Jungkook and Jimin stay at his personal home. Despite Jungkook’s refusals, he finally agreed to let you go home by yourself to speak to your father (and Hoseok- but he didn’t need to know that) as well as take a warm shower to calm your nerves.

You can sense Hobi and your father downstairs; you can hear their pacing in the living room. You’ve been sat in your room for nearly twenty minutes now. Tonight, you will spend the first night with your mate. Alone. Entirely alone. Your nerves quicken your heart rate as you fist the duvet while sat on the edge of your bed. He shouldn’t expect to mark, nor mate with you, not after today’s meeting. It’s clearly the wrong time and you of all people would never allow someone that just slandered your best friend’s name to bind you to them for the rest of your life.

You move to the bathroom and switch on the shower, gently slipping out of your clothes. The water feels warm and refreshing on your skin as you wash away all the shock, confusion and anxiety from today, instead greeted with the scented body wash lathering on your chest. You watch as the bubbles sink down the drain of the shower, and you quickly scrub your hair, ridding it of any dirt or muck accumulated throughout the day. You step out from the stream of water and wrap towels around your head and body, heading back into the bedroom. You’re shocked to see Hobi sat nervously on the edge of your bed. When he spots you, his head snaps up and he stumbles over to you, embracing you in a long, comforting hug.

“Y/N, I can’t believe it,” you can hear him trying to hold back his whimpers as he buries his face in your neck, “I can’t believe you’re going to leave.” He sniffles slightly and you completely disregard the fact you are wearing nothing but a towel, instead focusing on comfortingly rubbing his back as he tries to keep himself together.

“Hobi I’m never leaving you,” you promise him. You know it’s one you inevitably cannot keep, and you think he knows it too, but the words are still music to his ears. He pulls back from the hug and you sit next to each other on your bed, somewhat down-heartedly.

“I can’t believe the Alpha is your mate,” he chokes out, disbelievingly, “I always thought you would end up with another Theta, or even a Gamma, someone kind and caring.” You’ve never seen Hobi look so disheartened as the tears gather at his eyes and you have to hold back your sobs.

“Well, you never know, he might be like that,” you purse your lips together as a tear falls at your best friend’s broken look.

“Y/N, don’t play dumb, we both know he’s a cold-hearted killer,” he growls suddenly. You hate that he speaks the truth; you know all the stories of your new mate slaughtering masses.

“Hobi there must be some reason we are bound together,” you insist, in a lousy attempt to be hopeful.

“Y/N, you were supposed to be my mate,” he suddenly begins sobbing, “I- I always thought it was just a delayed reaction or something I- ah fuck who am I kidding,” he sniffs, “I was always in denial.” Hoseok’s confession makes you feel sick to your stomach and an overwhelming sense of guilt pools in your eyes as another tear falls. He’s never said he wants you out loud. He sees and reaches up to wipe it away and you lean your cheek into his hand. It frustratingly doesn’t feel as comforting as before you found Jungkook, but nonetheless the gesture warms both your heart and your wolf, and you feel saddened by Hoseok’s weeping.

“I wish you were my mate,” he whispers, swallowing back the tears then screwing his eyes shut, holding back from crying any further, “I’ll let you get ready.” He gulps again and swiftly exits the room, leaving you feeling more broken than ever.

After recomposing yourself for a good half hour you finally feel ready to now face your father, sat gloomily on the settee. Hoseok must’ve left, after spilling out his heart to you which immediately reignites the burning in your eyes as you think about what he must be doing now; probably in the local bar that serves underage wolves drowning himself in all sorts of liquor and beer. You push down the thoughts as your father’s face comes into sight, buried in his hands. It’s heart-breaking. You never imagined the finding of your mate to be so damn tragic.

“Dad?” You mumble, awkwardly stood next to the sofa. He looks up from his hands at you and smiles sadly, shuffling over a bit and lifting his arm so you can curl into his side like you did as a child. After your mum died, he would hold you like this and stroke your hair comfortingly as he told you the story of how the two of them met. You would never get bored of the tales he told of the two of them, deeply, madly in love.

“You know once,” he starts, “once your mother left me.” What. Your head shoots up to look at him. He’s never told you this one before. He nods sagely before carrying on as you tuck yourself back under his arm.

“She told me she missed her family. She wanted to be close to her sisters,” he pauses, “it was difficult for her to be apart from them; we lived hours away down here in the south, whereas their pack was way up north. She tried to convince them to come and join this pack, but the north was their home, they had a life and their own families there.” You begin playing at the buttons of your father’s shirt childishly as he gently rubs your arm.

“After a few months of being together, one night, I came home from my med classes to find her bags packed and a mind set she was returning home. She said she was unsure if she could come back, and no matter how much I tried to convince her to stay she got the first night bus out of here. She took all her things, all of our photos and even the bloody cutlery,” he chuckles slightly and the vibrations from his chest reverberate through you, and you continue listening contentedly.

“God that woman was stubborn,” he sighs fondly, “I remember when I was trying to persuade her to stay she threw a kettle at my head. A kettle!” You laugh along with him while smiling.

“Did she have good aim?” You grin.

“It was your mother- of course she bloody did!” He chuckles, “Anyway, a few days went by and my wolf was going crazy, for the first time in my life I can honestly say I was not in control of myself. I was drinking, I was getting into fights; I was even approached by our old Alpha telling me to get a grip. He was a little less understanding than Alpha Marcus.” He moves back a bit to look at you, rubbing his thumb over your cheek.

“Eventually, one night, I heard a banging on my door. I ran downstairs only to find your mother on my doorstep, soaked to the skin with her bags in her hands. She’d ran miles and miles and miles, she practically collapsed into my arms.” Your eyes widen as he grins at your reaction.

“In the end, she’d found she couldn’t stay away from me. We couldn’t be apart. We were bound to each other for a reason. Although you may not know that reason right now, Y/N, I can guarantee you that there is one. Jungkook and yourself-,” he sighs, “you’re made for each other. You may not be able to see that right now, but you and him are going to be bound to each other- for life.” You squeeze your eyes shut and bury your face into his slide, clutching onto him for dear life.

“Poppet, I know you don’t want to leave Hoseok or June or myself, but just because we won’t be physically with you, doesn’t mean you won’t have our full support at all times; we will always be right there when you need us.” He wraps his arms around you, snuggling you further into his chest. You’re gonna miss him so much.

Leaving your dad is one of the hardest things you have ever done, even though it’s only for a night, this will be the first night with your mate. You cannot help but feel torn now between Jungkook, as much of an arse as he is, and your life here. Jungkook’s main pack is the highest north you can go, up in the mountains and hidden from any urban cities, it’ll take days to reach, and you will hardly get to see your dad or your friends. You’ll have to start completely new.

Reaching Marcus’ house, you knock hesitantly on the door. Your Luna opens it and smiles welcomingly at you, ushering you inside.

“Hello dear, come on in,” she smiles, leading you through to the kitchen. It’s bizarre to find Alpha Marcus sat at the breakfast bar reading a newspaper while scoffing down his dinner; it’s weird seeing your Alpha carrying out such a mundane thing when you’re so used to seeing him acting all powerful and leader-like. He takes a sip of water when he sees you, quickly swallowing down his mouthful of food.

“Ah, Y/N, welcome,” he grins, “Jungkook’s upstairs already. I think he’s talking with Beta Jimin. You’re welcome to stay down here for a bit, or you can just head straight up.” You ponder for a moment before reaching a conclusion.

“I think I’ll go straight up,” you announce, “I think him and I have a bit of talking to do.”

Marcus smiles knowingly, “Of course. It’s the first door on the left at the top of the stairs.”

You tread up the stairs carefully, each step burning with trepidation. You reach the door to the room Jungkook is in swiftly; assured it is the right door by the wafting scent lingering near it that you only get in close proximity to your mate. Apparently, Jungkook sense this too, as seconds after approaching the door he swings it open, sighing with relief at the sight of you.

“Y/N,” he breathes. You can see Jimin stood in the room shifting his weight awkwardly between his feet as Jungkook looks you over, “do you want me to take that?” He points to your small bag of clothing and toiletries and you nod politely, handing it over to him, now more certain to form a better starting point with your mate after hearing your father’s story.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Jimin declares suddenly, quietly slipping past yourself and Jungkook stood in the doorway. For a moment, it’s a bit awkward, just stood under the doorframe uselessly. Jungkook quickly reasserts himself, though, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Coming in?” he smiles, stepping against the door to let you through. The door shuts behind him and you both move further into the room. Alone.

As anticipated, Marcus’ guestroom is beyond satisfactory; the crisp, white sheets highlighted with pastel blue decorative cushions that lay invitingly on a four-post bed. The windows have been left open, bringing in a slight draught pushing the silky curtains into the room as a mellow breeze nips teasingly at your bare arms. You respond to the current of air circling the room by bringing your hands up to rub your arms gently; Jungkook immediately responds by darting over to the windows and pulling them shut. You almost wish he didn’t do that, though, because now the room feels much smaller and enclosed, and there’s no single way of escaping.

The walls are coated in a cream, white colour and accentuated by various blue canvases painting the empty spaces. You’re drawn to one particular piece; a painting of a rowboat. The wood of the boat is white, and a small faceless fisherman sits emptily near the bow with his fishing rod hooked onto the gunwale. You tilt your head as you try to look closer, searching for an expression from the featureless painted man.

“So,” Jungkook startles you from your oblivious state, “are you tired?” You can tell he is feeling awkward and torn. The last time you spoke you argued, and you solidified your discontent in leaving Scarlet Oak.

“A little,” you shrug, returning to admire the little painting. You hear Jungkook shuffle behind you, closing the distance between you, but as you tense when you feel his proximity, he stops himself. You swiftly turn around to look at him and he’s a lot closer than you anticipate; close enough that you can hear his small pants of breath.

“Y/N…,” he watches you intently, “I- my- my wolf- he…,” Jungkook trails off and you can sense the inner conflict he’s battling which pains you. Your wolf wants him too. Although, you shan’t act on it. You can feel your wolf rejoicing in your mate’s closeness, but you don’t want to let him in so easily. You want to know him first. You take a step back from him and bite your lip.

“Shall we, err, sit down?” You ask, with a little laugh to lighten the mood. He nods, clearly a little hurt by your indirect rejection, then joins you to sit at the bottom of the bed, while you sit on the side situating one of the bed posts between the two of you; just to be safe.

“So, you’re a Theta?” Jungkook starts.

When you don’t respond, he continues, “I’ve always been interested in the medical fields.” Lies. You can feel he’s lying, and you think he knows that you know, but you choose to ignore those thoughts and engage with his small talk.

“Well I was raised solely by my father, and he studied medicine- still does... occasionally. He taught me a lot growing up,” you breathe, trailing your fingers along the silky feeling sheets, “I wanted to be just like him. He has always been my idol.” Jungkook looks a little solemn when you look over to be greeted with the muscles of his back, tensing through his dark top.

“I wish I could say the same,” he mutters.

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” Jungkook sighs and pushes his tongue into the side of his cheek, clearly thinking something over. You look at him with a frown, edging a little closer to his end of the bed.

“You know we’re mates now right?” You exclaim, “We’re going to find out everything about each other eventually.” Jungkook bites his lip and fiddles nervously with his thumbs. It’s ridiculously bizarre seeing him this way; the mighty Alpha of the Red Moon pack nervous talking to a girl? It’s just unheard of. Yet here you are; here he is, unable to even look you in the eye.

“Jungkook?”

“Let’s save it for another day yeah,” he whips his head up, “so what do you do? At school- I mean- do you- Christ- what do you study?” You edge another bit closer, wetting your lower lip with your tongue.

“Well I study English solely, but I like to dabble in other subjects too occasionally- just extra-curricular stuff.”

“Right… you know, at Red Moon you wouldn’t have to stop learning,” Jungkook slides in and you sigh at his diversion, “I could even get you personal tutors- you could study anything you want-“

“Let’s just- let’s not talk about that right now.”

“But we need to.”

“You got a free ticket out about your dad, why don’t I get one?” The room falls silent again as the tensions have risen. Are you ever going to be able to talk to this man without bickering? You clear your throat while running your fingers along the fabric of your jeans, moving them up and down. The material feels incredibly tight as the humidity in the room peaks beneath the tension sheathing you both.

You notice the door to the bathroom a moment later, and you suddenly have an escape route. Although only temporary, anything to save you from this situation is cherished. You clear your throat again, standing up slowly.

“I am going to take a bath,”you announce rather formally, unintentionally making it even more awkward. Jungkook suddenly stands up too, getting a bit closer to you.

“Are you sure? We were talking?” You can sense his futile attempts to subdue his short temper, but you still move to pick up your bag from where Jungkook placed it on a chair in the corner of the room.

“We were sat in silence,” you laugh, taking your bag.

“Well you were disrespecting me.” Your laughs cease at his accusation and you turn to him with an incredulous kind of look.

You look at him for a moment in disbelief, “Disrespecting? I’m not one of your pack members, Jungkook, I’m your mate. I think you need to re-evaluate the way you’re talking to me because if you were planning on ever seeing me leave Scarlet Oak for you, and I promise you this, you’re going the wrong way about it. Now I’m going to go and take a bath, and you’re going to stay in here and try to understand the concept of empathy before I decide to find someone better for me; even if fate doesn’t agree.” After your little rant, you go to turn around, but not before Jungkook snaps you back and forces you backwards till you’re against the wall with his body’s pressed against yours, his eyes almost black as his wolf struggles for dominance.

“What do you mean find someone else better- nobody else will fucking touch you, you never get to leave me,” Jungkook snarls, pushing his head into your neck. Your stomach does somersaults in both anxiety and some excitement that’s genetically forced upon you at the closeness of your mate, but you continue to glare at him, still determined to prove your point.

“I can smell him all over you, you know,” Jungkook lifts his head back up and stares directly into your eyes and your indignation falters momentarily, “that stupid little wolf-pup you love so much.”

“His name is Hoseok-,”

“I don’t care what his name is; he shouldn’t have touched you. He shouldn’t ever touch you, only I can touch you. You’re mine,” Jungkook moves close enough that you can feel his breath fanning your lips as his eyes flicker from them, back up to your own.

“Jungkook, stop,” your voice wavers beneath the Alpha’s penetrating stare making you squirm slightly as you try to manoeuvre yourself away from his hands above your shoulders against the wall, “You’re scaring me.” You gulp.

Jungkook instantly seems to gain control of himself as his eyes widen and he throws himself practically across the room to run his hand through his hair, resting the other on his hip. You stand still against the wall, breathing much heavier and closing your eyes in an attempt to calm yourself down.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook breathes, “I’m sorry, you should- I mean, you can have your bath.” You nod your head with your gaze down at the floor and don’t dare look up till your feet have frantically carried you into the bathroom, concealed from Jungkook’s view. You bring your hand up to your heart and you can feel it beating out of your chest, hard enough that you feel a bit faint.

You draw a hot bath as quickly as possible, drowning out Jungkook’s seemingly eternal pacing in the bedroom you can hear stomping against the wooden flooring. As you pour in some bubble bath under the running water, the door slams shut. Guess he will be back later. You strip down out of your clothes and dip the tip of your foot into the water, slowly savouring the warmth as you step in and place yourself down to lean your head against the wall. You’re not normally a bath-type of person, but after a shower earlier you feel much more inclined to enjoy the warmth and indulge in a brief escape from the new drama that’s your life.

Your head lulls back after watching the water ripple beneath the lavender scented clouds of soap blanketing your limbs. Your eyes slither shut, relishing the serenity of Marcus’ soundproof walls that keep out the stress, the noise, the chaos; you’re left in tranquillity as you begin to fantasise of yourself sat in a lagoon somewhere, underneath the piercing gaze of the hot sun.

The truth of your reality seeps in though, indicated by your knocking of the shower gel onto the floor accidentally.

“Shit,” you mutter, leaning over to pick the bottle back up and place it on the side again.

“You okay?” A voice startles you from outside and you yelp slightly, insisting that you’re fine.

“Yeah- yeah, I just dropped something,” you call back, nervously. The voice laughs, and you immediately recognise Alpha Marcus’ deep chortle.

“Okay, Jungkook has gone out for a bit- he asked me to tell you,” Marcus announces through the wood of the door. Out?

“Oh, okay, thank you,” you respond a little wearily. Your wolf becomes a little uneasy at this, and your legs become restless, rippling the bathwater even more so. You sense Marcus leaving which prompts you to get up and out of the bath, but suddenly he’s back outside the door again.

“And Y/N?” Marcus’ voice is a little quieter this time.

“Yeah?”

“He seemed angry,” you gulp at Marcus’ revelation, “did- did anything happen?” You wrap a towel around your body from the towel rack and slowly tuck in one end under your arm before taking a breath and responding.

“We just disagreed a little, it’ll blow over, there’s nothing to worry about, Alpha,” you promise, but you can sense Marcus’ apprehension before he leaves properly this time.

You return back into the bedroom and hastily redress into your night clothes, just in case of Jungkook coming back to find you half naked, which probably would not be the best situation. You slide into the left side of the bed and curl up against the pillow, finally allowing all of the day’s events to catch up with you and cease your wolf’s inner turmoil through the sedation of sleep. You’re exhausted.

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#bts #bts smut #bts fanfic #jungkook #jungkook x reader #v #suga #min yoongi #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #jeon jungkook #park jimin #jung hoseok #moonlight #admin lottie

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the-evisceration-station · 4 years

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I’m so exited for the next piece of for you above all, I love loveee your dead doves and angsty stuff bc you do subjects that most people won’t touch ( and you don’t even do it cringly Lmao ) but you rarely write soft and happy addybeth so I’m very excited for the next part, also I really love that series as a whole ❤️ I think you’re the only addybeth writer left standing and it’s so good to see you keep writing for them and talk about them here and even take prompts, I appreciate it so much 🥺

Hey, dude! Thank you so much! I know it’s taking me a long time to finish the for you, above all pieces, but like...the soft stuff just honestly doesn’t come to me as easy? I spend a lot more time messing with my softer pieces, scrutinizing and rearranging, and deleting shit cause it looks bad to me.

I definitely have more experience writing the nasty shit other people don’t want to touch, like damn. Most of my early fandom days were in horror fandoms, horror threads, stuff that has more gore and dark content in canon so I’ve spent a lot more time developing my dead dove craft than anything else tbh. These days I’ve been branching out for a lil bit now, and oh shit I’m rambling, what was my point? Oh, oh, it’s that I find softer/romantic pieces more challenging so it’s another reason the updates on those tend to be more spaced out.

Also because half the time in a canon part of whatever story, something bad happens. Cause something bad always happens, right?

And see, this is the part where lotta folks go, “how can I make this better?”

But it’s the part where I go, “how can I make this even worse?”

Nonetheless, I do greatly enjoy exploring the potential of Addy and Beth to have a healthy relationship!! I think that potential does exist for them in canon, but because of the events that unfold and their failure to resolve the issues between them before those events, that possibility is never realized. Their relationship is so fascinating to me because it’s so deep, so layered, so embedded into them. Addy and Beth can bring out the worst in each other and they can also bring out the best in each other. These things are not mutually exclusive. Canon plays out the way it does, I’d say Addy is almost unintentionally Beth’s ending and Beth is very intentionally what Addy believes is her beginning. It’s not happy or pleasant, but it is powerful. But I love both of these characters and no matter how canon actually is, I adore the idea of them being happy together. In another world, at another time, or under different circumstances, I think they could have that, and I like the idea of giving them that. It’s why I started that collection!

I am not the only writer left standing though! I refuse to believe it, I’m positive of it! I’ve even seen other writers talking about working on Baddy fics, or planning Baddy fics, and what have you. I think it maybe just feels like I’m the only one, because I tend to post one-shots as opposed to longer pieces. So the pieces that a different author might post might be like, like 20k or something. While the average lengths of one of my fics is probably like 4-5k. So when I’m whipping out four or five shorter fics a month, it’ll amount to another fic that someone else might be working on that’s like one longer story.

Does that make sense? It probably takes the other person more time since they like, are writing a longer thing. Wow. I could’ve just said that and been done with it. Why do I make things more complicated than they have to be? Why do I drone on and on about nothing? Well shit, that’s actually the first series I posted on the Ao3 I associate with this account. It’s some Riverdale shit, the first part is like 3k of pure torture porn and then the rest of it is just going on and on about nothing. Absolutely nothing. I wrote 30k of nothing because I was disappointed and spiteful, imagine that. Why am I telling you this?

Because it’s my patten. I am answering your ask the same way, going on and on about absolutely nothing. Is it annoying? Amusing? Somewhere in between? Neither? I have a knack for nothingness. I’m still doing it. I can’t turn it off. Or can I?

I should go up and delete all that, you didn’t ask for any of this, my dear nonny. In my defense, I’m kinda high and I’m not even really answering your ask anymore. I’m just typing out my stream of consciousness at this point but I’m about to scroll up, reread, and regroup here.

Well, just reread. And with that, I am going to thank you again! Your kind words warm my wicked little spade. I’m still accepting prompts too. I obviously take a long time to get to them, and no, I don’t write all of them. I’m honest if there’s one that I’m going to turn down, either because I feel it’s already been done or because it’s not an idea I feel equipped to write or particularly interested in. But that isn’t to say I’m not up for at least hearing out whatever, cause I totes am. I’ve written some weird shit, my dude. I’m up for hearing. Literally. Whatever.

On that note though, have you considered writing, my dear??

Because while I absolutely believe I am far from the only writer left standing in our fandom, it never hurts to have more join the pack! Maybe you should try your hand at it? Realize some obscure but beautiful vision you have for Baddy and share it with the rest of us? Headcanons for RiRi you’d like to explore more in depth since it’s very likely we’ll never have more canon info on her??

I’m not saying you have to write, buddy. I’m not trying to put any pressure on you. Not by any means. Even if I was, you don’t have to listen to me, who the fuck am I? Some internet rando who’s not wearing pants. You’ll allowed to do whatever you want to do with your own free time! I’m just throwing the idea out there, in case you might be interested. I’m always here to encourage you, if you’re feeling it but not sure how to get started, or something. A fandom can never have too many writers, especially not rather niche ones, like ours.

Well dude, sorry for rambling on so and losing track like ten times. Anyway, um, yeah. I appreciate you and I’m gonna keep chugging along here. I’m glad you’re excited, though I can’t promise when I’ll update that collection exactly. It’ll definitely be this month though, at least. My aim is to finish and post three of my Baddy fics this month. And also, rest assured, I’m sure I’m not the only one!

#anonymous #asks #answers #cringe fics #also flattered you think i don't do it cringely #tho that's kinda funny considering my username #and i def have before #albeit 21 yr old me's fanfic is probably objectively less cringe than 12 yr old me's fanfic #which was still dead dove: do not eat #bwahahaha #i was a disturbing fuckin kid wtf #nvm all kids are disturbing #when aren't kids disturbing #never they just are #the ones who seem like they aren't are the most disturbing

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