#I was over on the bench

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

I've been told I have a john mulaney speech cadence and I don't know whether to be flattered or affronted

#boom orange juice #I was over on the bench #john mulaney #in nazi germany #there's a horse loose in the hospital #that's the thing im sensitive about

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family #after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay #like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad #Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin #He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce #He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom #The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole #Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3 #Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less?? #He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette #Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store #and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him #Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have #Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma #Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens #That’s the tragedy. The drama. #Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones #It was inevitable #Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind #batfam #batman #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne

[stromer]

go to the box, please. GO to the box, please! NOW!

#was quinn hughes silent (he wasn’t) or was he SILENCED??? #the way he's so fawking annoying about it i can't stop laughingggajskdkjkjs i just Know he was tweakingggggg more than he let on #i kinda love u bad girl #its important to note that rick had himself a little smile on the bench at his captain having a toddler-esque meltdown over going to thebox #quinn hughes #canucks lb

[learnelle]

During my mini hiatus I fulfilled my dream of visiting Norway! The most surprising thing was hearing Lithuanian being spoken literally everywhere. My mum and I always speak Lithuanian to each other, so it was incredibly bizarre for people to overhear us and then come speak with us, or to have waiters/shopkeepers switch from English to Lithuanian. I’ve never experienced anything like it before, and I had no idea so many Lithuanians live in Norway! I absolutely ADORED this, it made all the places we visited instantly feel like home. Despite all that, I learned a bit of Norwegian and discovered that it’s literally the cutest language. Language learning is absolutely wonderful

#But fr it made me so happy 🥺 I rarely ever get to use my lithuanian so this was such a pleasant surprise!! #When we arrived in Oslo we sat down at a restaurant and were discussing how ridiculously expensive everything was - #- and then the waitress came over and asked (in lithuanian) if we were ready to order 💀💀💀💀 #We were struggling to find our hotel and we asked two ladies on a bench who were speaking lithuanian where we could find it !! #At a food festival in Bergen there was a stand for lithuanian chocolate so we were tasting there and had so many Lithuanians come and chat #And soooo many more instances like this !! #Imagine spending 99% of your time not speaking a language outside of the country / without your family #and then all of a sudden everyone speaks this language in the least expected place. Woah! #If I wasn’t so settled in France and if I was a bit less poor I would consider moving to Bergen. I loved itttt !!!! #studyblr #light academia #studyspo #langblr #norway #cottagecore

[jincheeto]

I love them all bisexually

#THEY ARE SO SO SHAPED I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE HEART #also i could never get over how much farmworld finn looked like an animal crossing player #so that explains that one #also according to probably incorrect math i did #finn is capable of benching 630 pounds #so yes he probably could break your spine #despite them being the same age #fw finn is basically the older brother to the other two #adventure time #atimers #finn the human #finn mertens #adventure time: fionna & cake #fionna campbell #fionna the human #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #farmworld finn #jinchee's art

[fisheito]

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo. #says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking #my immediate thought was #i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him #bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent #but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally #it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched.... #so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti. #configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying #the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias #then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought #i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him #AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND #originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went #WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN #BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing. #plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS #but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it #i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding #so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown #i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said #yakuya #nu carnival yakumo #nu carnival kuya

[mabaki]

So like, braincells got activated LOL They thinking about their lovers yeaaahhhh Idea and Glyndwr by @wyldblunt

#gw2 #guildwars2 #guild wars 2 #sylvari #Glyndwr #alanglyn #Mabaki #cairadin #sketch color #sketch #my art #when the braincell took over and i just frickin had to HAHAHAHAHAHA #perfect excuse for me to draw Gylndwr FINALLY AFTER LURKING FOR SO LONG LMAOOOO #THAAAAAAAAAANKS <3 #GRUMPILY SMOKING ON DA BENCH LMAO

[zetterbabe]

chews calculatingly (11.02.23)

#matthew tkachuk #florida panthers #hockeyedit #hockey #nhl #my gifs #hockey stuff #munchin' #it was either mickey or ken that was like it's a chew toy #also mickey giggling over chariot and matthew bugging each other on the way to the bench i love u so much #the detroit broadcast was also in love with barky and I was like these are my fucking PEOPLE

[boygirlctommy]

i knew going into it that the 15 years of mcyt video had tommy in it but i was Unprepared for the dsmp clips...

#my post #UAGH. SHOT DIRECTLY TO THE HEART. KEELS OVER AND DIESS #the theseus speech. wilbur exploding lmanberg. dec 16th when tommy techno n ranboo sat on a makeshift bench and looked at the sky. #'when i look at the moon the first thought in my head is 'moon'' 'i cant see stars' #unfortunately i couldnt immediately tell when the last 2 clips were from just yknow still bedr0ck bros era #shaking. im doing really well

[aysrin]

a short rest [hollow knight x valorant]

#valorant #valorant art #hollow knight #valorant omen #omen #two ghosts chillin on a bench 5 cm apart cause theyre gay!! #pls sing it like the vine thanks #this sat in my wips folder for over a year cause i Despise painting rocks #also im probably adhd #cause this took like 1hr to finish once i got over the concept of Painting Rocks #and there wasn't even that many rocks #aysrin cant art

[originalcontent]

I can't find art of my ship anywhere so I GUESS that means I have to make it myself, here are some doodles.

#ugh i can't believe i have to make my own shipping fanart #tfw you're complaining to your sister that you can't find any content of them but then you remember you have the power #man i do not know how to draw kissing or hugging or any of that romantic stuff #mostly i just know how to put paragraphs of dialogue in between two talking heads #but this seems to be something of a rarepair even though they are obsessed with each other so i suppose i gotta try #karlach #lae'zel #shipping #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #karlzel #i think that's the ship name but i have found so little of them that i'm genuinely not sure #laelach #(just in case) #but come on they're perfect! they're sunshine/raincloud! dog energy/cat energy! tall/small! hot and cold! canonically into each other! #character who represses sadness and character who doesn't understand happiness! pretty girls who can both bench press each other! #considering what their banter looks like i don't get how this isn't a more popular pairing. who else does karlach wistfully sigh over? #my sister tells me that lae'zel is not well-liked by the wider fandom and that that may be why (so sorry if other people have bad taste) #or maybe people don't often put the barbarian and the fighter together in the same party at the same time #anyway now that you're 100% convinced feel free to draw them making out so that i don't have to k thx <3

[short666bread]

#drarry #draco malfoy #harry potter #draco x harry #harry x draco #sometimes self indulgent wallowing is so satisfying #a fact about me is I am literally resting on a pile like this as we speak and also I am very sad #it feels v dramatic #but actually this is just how I’ve been sleeping lol #because the bed has a big dog in it and all over it and she’s a little stinky and also not great for like skin care #and the couch is a mid century modern joint with a horrible angle and wood between each cushion it’s basically a bench #and also has dog all over it #i love her sm but I’m trying to fix my face #i am staying w someone rn #the laundry is clean btw #anyways whatever

[budgiegryphon]

This year's r/place really fucking sucked, terribly run and an obvious(failed) distraction, but we did get some nice stuff done

Another bench! 45 communities! Here's the fully planned piece, Quote sadly got added last minute and wasn't visible before blackout.

Full character list below the cut.

Batter from OFF, Beheaded from Dead Cells, Ori from Ori and the blind forest, Bugs from APICO above Ori, Moon from Outer Wilds next to bugs, Purple guy from FnAF, Mae from Night in the woods, Omori from Omori, Commando from Risk of Rain, Madeline from Celeste above Commando, Engi, Bosco and Lootbug from Deep Rock Galactic, Soul Knight logo below Engi, Tiny Niko on top of Bosco, Sprite Companion from Hyperlight Drifter next to Tiny Niko, Isaac from Binding of Isaac, Chompy from Bug Fables underneath Isaac, Engineer from Factorio, Strabby on Engineer's shoulder, a penguin from Starbound, Junimo from Stardew Valley, Oneshot bulb above Stardew Valley's apple, A router from Mindustry, Keg from sea of thieves, Lamb from Cult of the Lamb sitting on the keg, Monika from DDLC above Lamb, Fishbowl from FSSH, Spooky from Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion, Whiteface and flower from IMSCARED above Spooky, V1 from Ultrakill, The Conductor from Final Station in front of V1's legs, Moth from Sky: Children of the Light above V1, Apollo from Ace Attorney bottom right of V1, Gnome from Everhood, Rivulet on Looks to the Moon from Rain World, Gail from Phoenotopia above Rivulet, Captain Viridian from VVVVVV above Gail, Flowey from Undertale below Looks to the Moon, Grimm from Hollow Knight, Paprika from Them's Fighting Herds above Grimm, Deltarune red heart above Strabby, King Slime in front of Grimm, The Spiral Heart from Grime next to Grimm, Carp from Lisa, Richard Mask from Hotline Miami above The Spiral Heart

#despite being horribly stressful there was also a lot of fun #shoutout to purple guy batter and richard for just appearing out of the ether #and the fssh people for successfully gaslighting everyone afterward about whether the game actually existed #and that one streamer who got so fucking mad that he couldn't successfully take over our spot #we had people saying the bench might be full at 16 characters and I think that got taken as a challenge #it went a whole DAY longer than it was supposed to and we all got burned out lmao #I coordinated this thing and was dreaming about bench negotiations the night after #conclusion reddit is a terrible place but the indie game people remain cool #sigh. tagwall time. #r/place #ultrakill #hollow knight #rain world #off #ori #dead cells #apico #night in the woods #omori #risk of rain #deep rock galactic #cult of the lamb #oneshot #spooky's jumpscare mansion #stardew valley #sky children of the light #bugsnax #hotline miami #grime game what is yalls tag #everhood

[queer-cosette]

Kids continue to be genuinely some of the funniest people on earth, I was teaching my theatre class and we were playing Park Bench where the point is to persuade the other person to get up off the 'bench', and. well.

Kid 1: My name is Karen!! Get me your manager!! Kid 2: No! Uno Reverse Card: Get me your manager!!

#my other job is in fucking retail help #coco speaks #the adventures of a musical theatre teacher #also another kid pretended to be ME and was persuaded off the bench with the offer of a free can of monster from the other kid #which. yeah #(I should say. the other kid was like 'hey Mx [Coco] there are free cans of monster over there') #like I'm not letting my students drink monster

[moeblob]

Alright I told someone I would give propaganda for these two so here we go. As a warning, I didn't play mobile or Re-Mind soooooooo. Yeah there's that. I know they're apparently involved in past stuff but shhh.

So first off, everyone's weapon is super useful! Except theirs. Which I always thought was really funny? Even in Re:CoM Zexion's book was more direct than these two. I really enjoyed them just as the most indirect fighters? And figured they'd be pretty chill and after playing KH2 as a kid I'm like. I think Luxord would be most tolerable to music while vibing. He could play Solitaire or something while Demyx played music and possibly chatted. Therefore, my younger self was like "it's perfect".

ALSO CONSIDERING THEIR NUMBERS! And the line in KH3 during the scene where Demyx is like "yup I got benched", they've probably got a history. However, the number they get originally is supposed to be the order they joined. So with Marluxia and Larxene obviously tied together in the past, all I can think of is these two just being absolute bums wandering around pre-Organization and just hitch hiking their way into a cult. Which is also REALLY funny to me because what if they joined at the same time but Demyx got to be IX and Luxord is X.

Demyx would hold his rank over his head for the dumbest stuff (in my head canons of the past).

Like there's so many things we specifically do not know about these two so basically, until I'm proven absolutely incorrect in game (which might have happened and I just don't know) ! I think they'd be a good match.

And I mean, it's also just (gestures) LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE. Great designs and I think that's good enough for me!

#kingdom hearts #demyx #luxord #i really just looked at these losers when i played kh2 on ps2 and was like wow they should kiss #and now im many years older and i am still like wow they should kiss #also i was telling my sister i was trying to come up with propaganda doodles and im like #yeah its two guys what more would the kh fandom need ya know #and she looks at me and goes did you really just say they're two guys thats enough #and i was ??? YEAH?????? FOR KH? theres like ten girls and ten games what more do i get to work with #and she sat there listing games in the series (she hasn't played any but she watched me play 1 and 2) #and counted eight and then i listed some more and she was like ok you know what thats fair #but that said she said the funniest thing ever that i NEED to draw but its too late for tonight #so you guys will get more of them at some point #also im still amused that luxord in kh3 appears after demyx says hes benched #and proceeds to say WELL AT LEAST I WASNT BENCHED like super casually and demyx just ouch you were listening thats rude #like they're supposed to be vessels and yet they still manage to have a bicker moment over importance of roles

[bunny-extract]

Okay the jock au has me thinking!! There’s a rule you find out about after getting snuck in between practice.

Cw: implied free use, dubcon!!

Kiss drunk and teased, you were antsy, sloppy, begging to be touched properly.

The locker room still smelled like man, musk, sweat, a reminder that you were in a place you had no business being. Especially not with your shirt pulled to your chin, pants undone and spread taught over the lap of your most recent paramour. Of whom seemed to be content drawing this out longer than it needed to be.

You said it had to be quick, stop teasing me and—

There is a rumble that catches you attention, the sound of muffled chatter reaching your ear. There isn’t a moment to jump up and hide yourself from view before the door to the locker room smacks open. The first men in spot you immediately perched in the lap of one of their teammates.

“Ohh, Bonnie.”

“Fuckin’ hell, look at that.”

The blood that had been burning across your cheeks and between your thighs tries to disappear all together, a spear of ice taking its place.

They all watch you as they crowd in, peeling off sweat-soaked jerseys and dropping their pants like you’re the mirror instead of an intruder.

Like you’re the meal following their workout.

You tear your eyes away when the first jock strap shimmies down and smacks to the floor, finding no solace in your partner. The smugness in his smile is a smack to the face, your blood finally returning to burn hot in your cheeks.

Their craning heads nearly block the fluorescent lights, four pillars of meat crowded around you, dripping in sweat and endorphins and testosterone.

Their Captain’s eye doesn’t waver from you, even as he addresses your seat with a slap to the shoulder. “Mate, you know the rule.”

There’s not even an apology to you before those still-slick hands squeeze greedily at your ass to slide you onto the bench. As if it couldn’t get bad enough, the men part to let him through, leaving you under their scrutiny. Alone.

What rule, you gather yourself enough to ask, protectively clenching your thighs.

There’s a chill against your skin when the Captain rocks onto the balls of his feet. Like a wave, the team seems to stir. They’d been hoping you’d ask.

“Rule is a bit formal. The only place we abide those are the field.”

There’s a snort echoed among them men. The obvious isn’t lost on you: the 141 were known for being rogues.

“We’re quite keen on sharing, bonnie. Team bonding, and all that shite.”

Sharing?

Disembodies fingers brush down the back of your neck, igniting those sensitive pressure points at a fraction of their power. “Clicked now, has it?”

Shining wide eyes meet the dark hollows of the tallest in the group. That typically taciturn gaze is bright, excited. Thirsty. Jesus, like you’d only seen after he’d bodied through someone.

“He brought you here for us to have, pet.”

#really quick so I can get back to my walk I plopped onto a bench to write this sgajsk #it’s actually taking over my head thank u anna for another cavity in my brain <3 #bunnywriting #141 x reader #tf 141 #jock au #cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #captain price x reader #soap x reader #ghost x reader