#I was big in that fandom if I’m being honest | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silkythewriter · 5 months

Note

Hi! It’s the anon who asked the cat demon headcanons, (which I loved btw <3) And you asked, so I deliver! Here’s another request, although, please remember that you don’t have to do this and remember to take breaks ^^ Could you possibly, mayhaps do another Vox x reader? Where the reader is a HUGE extrovert, like they just randomly show up in front of his house at 3:00 am with McDonald’s in hand just because they didn’t wanna be alone at night or something like that? Headcanons is fine! :D

Vox with an extroverted reader!♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Warnings!: Non! Just our silly lil tv demon <3

Fandom!: Hazbin hotel

Author note!: AHHH HI HI IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR HAZBIN HOTEL ASKS THEY MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE SO MUCH AHHH TY SM FOR THE NEW REQUEST (also Vox is my fav lil silly guy I love writing for him ̋(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑) )

Summary!: Vox with an extroverted reader!

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! <3.❤️

✿❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁✿

“(Where is my friend Smiley?) Your name is definitely Smiley!”

✿❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁✿

!📺✨Vox✨📺!

OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS, this man is not an extrovert per say, he is just very good at making people like him. Like look he much rather be working to gain more power then chit chat but he would do it to gain favors.

Like I said with my last post he’s very good at using his words to make people side with him. Now I wouldn’t say he’s a man of few words, definitely not. But he has a persona he wears in social interactions.

After a long day of just running his new channel/show, he honestly has zero energy, this man is exhausted after talking all day long to the citizens of hell. And making business deals upon business deals.

But with that being said he finds it re energizing to be around you. Maybe it’s the care free attitude you have, or maybe the pure excitement on your face when he opens the door at 3AM.

When he opens the door and sees you with a big ol’ grin on your face as you clutch a big bag of food with one hand and another big bag stuffed to the brim with your personal items in the other hand you can imagine his confusion

Either way he opens the door slightly to let you march in before you quickly put everything down and plopped down on his couch.

And after that it honestly just became a daily occurrence

At first he was a bit confused and overall just questioning why you were here at 3am of all times.

And if you ask if he minds of course he’ll say yes! He’s tired! Not like he finds it nice to be in your company or anything

No but really he probably to tired to protest half of the time so he just takes a seat next to you and starts digging in to whatever you bought.

Also he always blushes at how you always get his order right and knows what he likes…but he always turns away before you could sneak in a glance!

I’m all serious having you as company on lonely nights is quite literally a after live saver for him. Having you to talk to about anything and everything you both find interesting is wayyyyy more better then having Val or velvet screeching in his ear about something!.

After the first few times of this happening he always made sure to lay out extra blankets and pillows on the couch just for you two.

Now as for your personality he honestly finds it very energizing! Look he’s use to carrying the conversation (which he doesn’t mind) but it’s nice having someone else take the lead for a bit!

I will say he knows you aren’t naive or anything per say, but he can’t help be a bit over protective of you and your happy energy. And trust me he doesn’t mind getting his hands a bit dirty if someone tells you to water yourself down (￣ ^ ￣💧)…

He gives you a spare key so you could just waltz’s in whenever you wanted to be honest!

He finds it nice to cuddle on the couch and talk with you till you both pass out, and surprisingly it’s recharges his social battery!

After awhile the rolls might reverse with him now asking if you want to come over at late Hours if the night (๑>ᴗ<๑)

And even on the rare chance he has time in the mornings or evenings to hang out with you he always makes sure no one can disturb you guys. He has everything on silent even his inner notifications. And if they ask he just says he was glitching out ( =ω= )

The amount of shows you guys binge watch in one night is actually foul… like a 5 hour series done and completed in tops 2 hours. What black magic you guys use don’t ask me….!

If you end up asleep mid way one of the shows before him he will pick you up and take you to bed. He’ll make sure to put the AC full blast before covering you in blankets before hopping in himself. Now if he’ll admit this in the morning is a 50/50 chance

He only tolerates you doing this, anyone else and he’d be annoyed and just electrocute them out.

If you ever go to the three V’s building he honestly isn’t surprised with how you get along with almost everyone.

He dose a get a bit jelly at times when it come to you chit chatting with a whole bunch of people.

But in the end of the day he knows that’s just how you are and as long as you reassure him he’s your favorite hes fine with it.

If he hears anyone talk behind your back about your personality best believe they won’t be found any time soon.

You guys are always talking over socials honestly especially mid day when it’s busy but he just wants to talk to you! It helps him save the little sanity and patience he has with the people he’s surrounded by(￣▽￣)💦.

Overall you help him cope after a long day and you never fail to make him smile!, and having someone to just goof around with and not needing to put on his business persona, is funny enough, a god send. He loves you very much!, and is thankful for whatever good deed he did when he was alive that earned him you.

✿❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁✿

HELLO HELLO!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST, PHEW THAT WAS ALOT BUT I LOVED WRITING IT SM!!!!! Vox is my favorite character personally! He’s so silly <3

BUT AGAIN TY FOR REQUESTING I LOVED IT SO MUCH IT WAS SO MUCH FUN PLEASE REQUEST AGAIN WHENEVER!!! Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

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a-chip-in-inosukes-nichirin · 13 days

Text

Ameliorate

Fandom: Kimetsu no Yaiba/Demon Slayer

Rating: Explicit- Minors DNI (18+ only)

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Sanemi/Female Reader

Tags: Female Reader, Penis in Vagina Sex, Bad Dates, Brief Mentions of SA, Oral Sex, Protective Genya, Protective Sanemi, Fucking you better, Slight Self-Esteem Issues, Mating Press, Sexual Tension, Sanemi is a lovable asshole

Wordcount: 5k

Ameliorate: To make something unsatisfactory better

After a bad date you spill the beans that you think Genya's brother is hot and he decides to fuck the memory of your shitty date out of you.

Cross-posted from my AO3 account.

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8627 45th Street SOS pls pick me up ASAP

The hastily sent text was minimal, blunt, and out of character for you. Usually, your messages were sprinkled with extraneous words, emojis, and “please” and “thank you”. You had no time for flowery language today; you needed a quick extraction.

You were hidden in the bathroom, date passed out on the bed after possibly the worst sex you’d ever experienced- for how long, you weren’t sure. Hopefully just enough for you to get out of here.

You weren’t known for making the best decisions and tended to go along with things longer than you wanted to in the name of politeness. It had landed you in many shitty situations, but this was by far the worst one. You rinsed your mouth with water in an attempt to wash the taste of the man who’d been far too rough with you from your palate, holding back the need to gag. You’d done enough of that today, and it was barely noon; a striking contrast to how you felt.

Your phone vibrated, Genya’s number lighting up the screen. You answered it with shaky fingers, keeping your voice low as you spoke.

“Hey.”

You hated how raspy it sounded. That’s what happens when an asshole doesn’t listen when you tell him to be gentle.

“You okay?” Genya’s concerned voice came through the speaker. “We’re almost there; what’s up?”

You appreciated Genya’s swift response but stiffened at his words.

“We?”

“I’m out with Nemi,” Genya told you.

Sanemi.

Genya’s big brother, and the last person you wanted to see you in this state. You couldn’t afford to be picky, though, when you were stranded at a stranger’s house after a variety of bad decisions.

“Just text me when you’re outside. Don’t honk or anything.”

“Are you safe?”

“Yeah…”

Just having a shitty day.

“We’re just around the corner,” Genya informed you.

“Okay. Be out in a sec.”

You hung up the phone and wished between your legs didn’t ache so badly, wished you weren’t half-limping from everything. There were likely bruises on your wrists and thighs, probably on your ass too if you were being honest. Under different circumstances you would’ve been proud of them, but today you only felt disgust.

You’d been so stupid.

Shuffling out of the bathroom on your tiptoes, you crept past the bedroom door that was left ajar, catching a glance at the man who’d cajoled until you caved, then didn’t listen when you said you weren’t fucking ready yet.

So stupid.

You berated yourself as you softly closed the door behind you for your walk of shame to the vaguely familiar SUV parked on the street. Genya twisted to look at you from the passenger seat as you slid in, avoiding his eyes. You knew you looked like a mess: mascara had streaked, and eyeliner was smudged, hair mussed beyond its normal windswept tousle, and it was a miracle that the majority of the damage inflicted on you was covered by your turtleneck.

“No car?”

“In the shop for repairs,” you kept your eyes glued out of the window, knowing Genya was worried but ashamed to meet his gaze. “I appreciate the ride. Didn’t mean to encroach on bro-time.”

“Not a problem,” Sanemi’s voice cut through the air as he pulled away. You shivered at his words, wetting your lips nervously. “You weren’t too far out of the way.”

“You okay?” Genya asked.

You wrinkled your nose, fighting the shame that filled your throat.

“Bad date.”

The following silence was uncomfortable, leaving you shifting against the leather seats. You knew Genya was probably fighting the urge to ask you if you wanted him to kick someone’s ass, and Sanemi… well, you didn’t know what he thought but you sure could guess what someone might think when they saw what you looked like after exiting a man’s house.

“Hungry?”

The question broke you out of your thoughts, and you caught Sanemi’s gaze in the rearview mirror. You’d eaten a couple hours ago, but after the day you’d had, you were starving. You didn’t realize how tense you were until just now, melting into the seat.

“Yeah, food sounds great.”

“Nemi and I were gonna grab something and then marathon Star Wars,” Genya told you. “You down?”

Your eyes flickered between the two brothers.

“Is that okay?”

“You’re over all the time already,” Sanemi replied nonchalantly.

It was true: you often dropped in or crashed at their place after work or on your days off to hang out with Genya. The two of you had been fast friends since you both worked the same shifts at work during high school. You’d moved on to other things, as had Genya, but your friendship had remained and grown as you did.

Sanemi worked quite a bit to provide for his younger brother and himself after an accident that left both of them orphans, and he was often gone when you and Genya hung at his place, but he’d found a better job recently that left him with more days off. With his schedule freed up a bit, he’d been around more while you crushed Genya at Mario Kart and experimented with new recipes in their spacious kitchen.

Sanemi had been little more than a passing thought before, but since seeing him more frequently, you’d developed a fascination with the scarred man with the shock of white hair. It wasn’t like the crushes you’d had on other guys- giddy, giggling things- but instead a hot coal in your stomach that left you uncomfortable and squirming when he was nearby. Sanemi was short-tempered and gruff, and had a permanent scowl on his face, but something about him made butterflies sprout in your chest.

It made you feel foolish, and you knew you’d die if Sanemi ever found out. You’d gone to great lengths to put physical and emotional distance between the two of you, a practiced civility that bordered on cold. It was the only way you could manage to keep yourself in check around him.

With the food acquired (taco bell was Genya’s favorite, much to Sanemi’s disdain), the three of you were back at the Shinaguzawa household in record time. Genya plopped on the couch, patting the seat next to him. You hesitated, the stickiness under your clothes itching uncomfortably now.

“Here,” Sanemi appeared out of thin air, thrusting a towel into your hands. “You know where the shower is.”

Your face heated as you slunk away, disappearing into the tiled bathroom. You must have looked pretty rough if Sanemi was telling you to shower.

Genya furrowed his brows disapprovingly at his brother as you vanished.

“I know you’re trying to help, but you should really work on how you talk to people.”

“Why?” Sanemi settled on the far end of the sofa.

Genya pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Because,” he groaned. “You don’t have tact.”

“I was giving her a towel; why does that need tact?” Sanemi turned the television on. “She obviously wanted a shower.”

“You’re useless,” Genya dug out his burrito. “It’s no wonder nobody will date you.”

Sanemi snatched the food from Genya with a glare, pushing him away with a socked foot when Genya complained and reached for the stolen bag.

“Biting the hand that feeds you means you’re gonna lose the food,” Sanemi told him.

“Genya!”

Your voice from down the hall had the younger brother craning his neck, Sanemi leaning back to peer down the dim hall curiously.

“I’m stealing some of your clothes,” you exited Genya’s room, holding up a handful of cloth. “And I’m borrowing your washer.”

“Sure, go ahead,” Genya nodded, watching you disappear into the bathroom.

The silence as Sanemi set up the movie was relaxed. Genya fished his food from the bag and set it far away from his brother, disposing of the trash as the sound of water reached their ears.

“So I guess you two aren’t fucking then?”

Genya choked on his burrito, slamming his fist into his chest. When he finally could breathe again, he turned his red face towards Sanemi with a glare.

“What the hell would give you that impression?”

“Look,” Sanemi plucked a cinnamon twist from its spot nestled in fast food paper. “I see you guys hanging out all the time. You’re close. I just figured-”

“We’re friends,” Genya cut him off. “She literally was on a date with someone today.”

“A shitty one,” Sanemi interjected.

Genya rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah, a shitty one. I swear she’s got the worst luck when it comes to dating. It’s like she’s an asshole magnet.”

“This happened before?”

Sanemi’s interest was piqued. He’d grown curious about the girl who showed up at the house to keep Genya company and use the kitchen at odd hours. You were incredibly sweet but had a sassy streak around people you were comfortable with. He’d heard you swear like a sailor over losing a game, but even from the next room over he could hear the grin in your tone. It did confuse him how you’d go from acting like you were in your own house while Genya was there, to suddenly stiffening and growing formally polite around him.

“Yeah, like four or five times. Usually, I’ll hear about it the next day, but she’s never called for a ride before.”

“She should’ve just told the guy no date until her car is fixed,” Sanemi took a swig of his drink. “That’d fix that problem. Can’t help with the bad taste in men, though.”

“I don’t have bad taste.”

Your voice cut the air sharply, and the brothers twisted around to see you standing behind the couch, hair damp and body swallowed by Genya’s clothes. Your embarrassed face was juxtaposed by the glare plastered across it. A few pale bruises peeked above the loose collar of the borrowed shirt.

“Then how do you explain consistently shit dates?” Sanemi countered, raising a brow.

Your face burned and you ducked your head between your shoulders.

“…bad luck?”

The white-haired man snorted into his cup. You scowled, plopping down on the couch next to Genya.

“I can’t help it men are pigs who don’t know what the word ‘no’ means,” you bit back, hackles raised at Sanemi’s reaction.

You didn’t think the air could get more uncomfortable, but here you were, starting to squirm as you did your best to avoid the piercing gazes of the Shinazugawa brothers. Genya’s whole body had leaned forward as his hands dug into the couch. Sanemi’s normal resting bitch face hardened farther and his eyes narrowed to pinpricks.

“I’ve got a crowbar in the garage-”

“Nemi!” Genya elbowed him before quickly turning back to you. “Unless… I mean unless you wanted-”

“No!” you shook your head, covering your face. This night was just getting worse the more you had to talk about everything. “I just want to forget about it. Can we watch the movie please?”

Familiar music filled the air as Star Wars began to play. You honestly didn’t care for the franchise all that much but it was a welcome distraction from your morning. You inhaled your food before snuggling down into the couch your lids grew heavy. You finally let them shut, unable to stay awake any longer as the hum of conversation and sound effects melted into the background.

Your dreams were staticky and punctuated by odd dialogue filtering in through your ears from the movies playing, but eventually you fell into a dead sleep, mind dark and empty as the exhaustion caught up to you.

When you jolted awake, the sun had gone down and the curtains were drawn, leaving the living room dark. The couch’s raised fabric pattern was imprinted on your cheek, accompanied by drool trickling from your open mouth.

Gross.

You wiped it away with the back of your hand, sitting upright. The living room was empty, food wrappers cleaned up and a fuzzy blanket laid over your body. Sanemi and Genya were nowhere to be seen. You pushed yourself up, reaching for your phone.

10:18PM.

Genya would normally still be up at this time. You picked yourself up off the couch and padded down the hall, knocking on his door.

No answer.

You opened it slowly, not wanting to get an eyeful if he was in the middle of choking his chicken or something else that would scar you for life. His room was entirely empty, bed uncharacteristically neat. Eyebrows knit together to create a crease.

“Do you always creep around like an intruder?”

Sanemi’s voice made you jump, spinning around to face him. You clutched your chest where your heart beat erratically from the scare, trying to hold back a scowl.

“Jesus Christ dude,” you spit out when you finally caught your breath. “Don’t do that.”

“What?” Sanemi crossed his arms. “Walk through my own house?”

“Surprise me,” you took a step back, gathering your wits. “In the dark.”

Sanemi reached over with one hand, flipping the light switch. The sudden harsh illumination made you squint, which did nothing to make your face look less irritable.

“Genya got called into work about two hours ago,” Sanemi answered your unspoken question. “He said you could use his bed if you wanted to.”

You peered back into the room behind you. Sanemi probably wouldn’t want to drive you home, so you supposed you could crash in Genya’s bed for the night. Wouldn’t have been the first time, and probably not the last. Genya always insisted you take his bed if you stayed the night anyway. He claimed the couch was more comfortable (a lie if you’d ever heard one).

“If it’s no trouble,” you pulled the blanket tighter. “I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”

Sanemi let out a long sigh, leaving you to side-eye him as he rolled his shoulders. When he finally quieted and brought his attention back to you, he looked both pissed and concerned.

“Is it something I did?”

You blinked owlishly, cocking your head.

“What?”

“You always do this,” he gestured to you. “You’re relaxed and chill when Genya’s here, but the moment I show up you get all… frosty. Did I say something to offend you?”

You shifted from one foot to the other, opening your mouth briefly before snapping it shut, trying to think before you said anything stupid. It didn’t work, as per usual.

“N-no, you just make me nervous-”

Sanemi’s face briefly reminded you of a kicked puppy, and you felt horrible. Of course he’d assume you were frightened of him because of his scars. You chided yourself mentally, attempting to fix your mistake.

“N-not like that!” you lifted your hands to wave them wildly, and the blanket slipped to the floor and puddled around your feet. “I just-you make me nervous because you’re hot!”

Both of you froze this time, and your face lit up bright red, ears burning as your mouth fell open and eyes bugged out at your slip of the tongue. You wished you could melt into the wooden floorboards of the hall.

Sanemi broke out of his stupor first, a slow grin spreading across his face. You would’ve run if you hadn’t been rooted to the floor in humiliation.

“Oh, is that it?” he leaned down, resting one palm flat against the doorframe near your head.

His face was close-too close to yours to be completely comfortable. You turned your head away, trying to calm your racing heart. There’s no way Sanemi was flirting with you. He was probably just being an asshole, right?

Right?

“Genya isn’t the only one who has a bed,” Sanemi’s smirk was crooked, eyes half lidded. His face swiftly softened when he noted your eyes flickering to your left and right like a frightened rabbit. He took a step back, allowing you your personal space again.

“Sorry,” he apologized, eyes gentle amidst the sharp planes of his face. “You just had a shitty date and here I am being a bad host. You’re probably tired.”

You hadn’t seen this side of Sanemi before much. You were used to his cocky glares and barking laughter. Not this gentle tone like someone coaxing a horse.

“You’re not bad,” you burst out, wanting to ease the tense atmosphere. “I just- I don’t… know how to act around you.”

Your face burned. How many embarrassing confessions would you make tonight? You were already at two and counting.

“I’m not a pig,” Sanemi echoed your words from earlier. “I know how to take a ‘no’.”

“I-it’s not a no!”

Sanemi’s gaze snapped back to you, shocked but curious. You bit your lip, clenching your fists.

“It’s… not a no. I’m just not sure-”

“If you’re not sure, then it’s the same thing,” Sanemi picked the blanket up from off the floor and looping it around your shoulders like a cape.

Your fingers snagged it without a second thought, anchoring it in place where he’d laid it. You weren’t sure where your eyes should settle, but risked peeking up at him. His eyes rested on your visage with a gentleness that rivaled the brush of his fingers as they withdrew from fabric around your body. Those lilac eyes were a little curious, a little resigned, and a little hungry.

You reached out with one hand, hooking your fingers in the hem of his shirt. He paused. You took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“I want you,” you maintained eye contact as you spoke- quite the feat when your heart was trying to escape through your throat.

Sanemi stared at you as if trying to gauge your sincerity.

“Please?” you tacked on as an afterthought, suddenly afraid that he’d laugh in your face or- worse- reject you outright for some other reason. You could thin of a million, but the one you worried most about was him thinking you were some kind of loose woman who slept around-

Hands threaded through your hair, and you felt lips on your own. You melted into the unexpected touch, anxiously moving closer until you were fully pressed against Sanemi’s body. Heat rolled off him comfortingly, and your hands twisted in his white tank top. His teeth nipped against your lower lip, forcefully requesting entrance. You granted it, running your tongue along his teeth, tasting mint and the faintest lingering bitterness of tobacco.

Cigarettes.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” you whispered as he broke away for a breath.

A brief embarrassed guilt flashed across his features before he shrugged.

“I’m working on quitting. Don’t want Genya to think it’s okay but… we all have our vices.”

You laughed, reaching up to touch his hair.

“Genya tried cigs and isn’t a fan, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

The look on Sanemi’s face was comical, and you held in a giggle. He glared behind you in the direction of Genya’s bed.

“The little fucker-”

“Hey, he’s a good kid,” you insisted, feeling more at ease speaking with Sanemi now that his hands were around your waist. It was both soothing and thrilling.

Sanemi crowded you against the wall, dropping his head until your gazes were level. His eyes bored into yours and it felt as if you were suddenly being interrogated.

“You two really aren’t fucking?”

The question took you aback a little bit, but you shook your head.

“He’s like my little brother.”

Sanemi’s grin split across his face, crooked and sharp. Your stomach fluttered as the tip of his nose brushed against yours, fanning his breath across your lips.

“Good. Because I’m taking you.”

Before you had a chance to ask what he meant, you were lifted off your feet and carried- with an undignified squeal- through the hall and into Sanemi’s room. When he dropped you on the bed, the air left your lungs in a gasp, and it took a second to get your bearings.

“If you say stop, or no, at any point,” Sanemi’s shirt was whipped off over his head as he approached the bed, “I’ll back off. If you can’t speak, tap me three times.”

Your eyes locked on his torso as you nodded dumbly, taking in the muscles and scars across his ribs and pecs, down his sides and crowning his hips. It took everything in you to tear your vision away to meet his face as he crawled over you, running his hand up your neck until he cradled your jaw.

“Now… how about I make you forget all about that shitty fucking guy from earlier?”

The kiss was soft and chaste, not what you expected after how heated things had gotten in the hallway. Sanemi’s hands reached for the edge of the t-shirt you wore- Genya’s t-shirt- and lifted it until it caught on your face, tugging a bit when your head was stuck until it popped off, leaving your hair mussed. He brushed the stray strands from your face, eyes dropping to your bare breasts.

Shit.

In the chaos of excitement, you’d forgotten about the marks left from your earlier date. Your hands immediately went to cover them in horror. Sanemi stopped you, grabbing your wrists and holding them from blocking his view. His lips pressed to each mark, scraping his teeth and sucking them until they grew darker. Each bruise was remarked afresh by his mouth until not one was left untouched.

Your head had fallen back, a trembling hum dragged from your lips at the feeling of Sanemi’s touch. He sucked a few new marks as well, higher up on your neck, making sure to lavish the juncture of your shoulder and throat with attention. Your hands dug into his hair, tugging and holding back a keen of pleasure.

“There,” he pulled back, satisfied with his work.

Your breath hitched, watching him slide his fingers under the satin basketball shorts clinging to your hips. Being fully exposed to Sanemi was frightening, your entire body going rigid, remembering the offhand snide comments you’d endured only hours ago in the same situation. Sanemi noted the way you wouldn’t meet his eye, ducking your head and pulling your legs towards yourself as if you were going to curl in on yourself.

“I can’t see your pretty face,” he lifted your chin with a finger, thumbing your lip. “I want you to look at me while I go down on you.”

Your face blazed red, and it crept down your neck until your chest flushed as well, watching Sanemi drop his face between your legs, forcing them apart while maintaining eye contact. You slowly eased yourself down until you were only propped up on your elbows.

“Ready, pretty girl?”

It was humiliating how your cunt fluttered at the words, and you nodded, transfixed by his cocky smile as he stuck his tongue out, just barely flicking the little nub that hid under its fleshy hood. The anticipation made you squirm a bit, even though the touch wasn’t enough to affect you. Sanemi hooked his arms around your thighs, anchoring you in place before burying his face against your hot core. Your back arched, a muffled moan fluttering past your lips as your nails scratched his scalp.

You could feel him grin against your cunt as his tongue dipped in and out, tracing the sides and up towards your clit. He avoided directly touching it until you were practically grinding against his face in desperation, desperate short whimpers huffed through your nose. Your lower lip was tucked under your top teeth, bitten and swollen due to your barely restrained desire.

“Please, Sanemi,” you finally gasped.

He pulled back, chin slicked with your juices.

“Please what?”

“You know what!” you whined.

Leave it to Sanemi to be an asshole while eating you out. You couldn’t really complain though- he was impressively good.

“Use your words, sweetheart.”

“Please,” you dropped your head to the sheets so you wouldn’t have to look at him as you spoke. “Let me cum.”

“I’m not stopping you.”

You shot up, glaring at Sanemi with a fury you didn’t know was in you. That pleased smirk was plastered on his gorgeously annoying face. You moved your legs so they locked behind his head, holding him in place.

“Don’t be a fucking tease!” you shook him a little by his cornsilk hair, just firm enough to show you weren’t a fan of his antics.

Sanemi huffed a laugh against your inner thigh. His mouth was already back on you, finally going high enough to reach that sensitive button that he’d been neglecting. You sighed in relief, thighs clenching around his face. It didn’t take long after that for that coil in your stomach to build, snapping and throwing you over the edge when Sanemi’s flat tongue caressed your clit.

He kept going despite your choked cry and the way you arched up off the bed, limbs shaking and legs shaking. When you finally couldn’t take it anymore your hands pushed against his head, forcing him away. He sat up, looking over your trembling body and heaving chest. Your eyes were closed, a ringing sound in your ears from the intensity of the orgasm that was currently acting like a muscle relaxer.

A muffled groan pulled you from your pleasure-induced haze, and your eyes slit open. Sanemi’s pants were gone, pupils blown out. You didn’t realize how hard he was already, the outline of his dick inside the confines of his gray boxers surprising you as he palmed himself through the fabric. His own breathing was labored, and he swallowed, noticing your eyes opening.

“You good, princess?”

You nodded, feeling a bit sleepy, but pushed yourself up until you were sitting.

“Up for another round?”

You reached out, a bit hesitant, but tugged on the waistband of his underwear. That was all the answer he needed, and Sanemi stripped out of them, fishing around in the drawer of his nearby nightstand until he was able to produce a condom. It was opened and rolled on in a flash. He nudged your legs apart, settling between them and lining himself up at your entrance. You were incredibly slick from your earlier orgasm, and he pushed in with little resistance. The intrusion was still unexpected, and your fingernails bit into his forearm. Sanemi let out a shaky breath as he bottomed out, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Good job, sweetheart,” he whispered through gritted teeth. “Let me know when you’re ready for me to move.”

Instead of answering him verbally, you pushed up against him, grinding your cunt down onto his dick. The choked cry from his lips was like honey to your ears, and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Fuck me, Sanemi,” you breathed into his ear.

You barely finished the sentence before his hips began pounding into you, a cacophony of grunts and groans escaping his throat. He grabbed your legs and folded them back, angling deeper into your sopping cunt and hitting something inside you that made your toes curl. Each thrust punched the air from your lungs, leaving you too breathless to even moan out your satisfaction. Sanemi’s grip on your legs was leaving bruises but you didn’t care. You were enveloped in the feeling of his cock drilling into you relentlessly, his eyes half closed as the veins in his neck and arms stood out from the force he applied with each movement.

“S-Sanemi!”

The strangled cry you managed to get out among the intense movement filled the hot air of the room. Sanemi’s grip tightened on your legs and his hips stuttered against yours. His mouth had fallen open, eyes lidded with pleasure. His groans rose in pitch until they were more whines than anything, and the staccato beat of skin on skin lost all rhythm.

Sanemi came with a long moan, his mouth dropping to your neck, suckling as he ground up against you, hands loosing their hold on your legs to scramble for your hips. The tension in your stomach snapped with the last few jerks of his hips, a pleasant buzz settling in your limbs and chest a second time as your walls fluttered around his pulsing member. Your arms draped across his shoulders in an embrace as he came down from his high.

It was too warm in the room, but neither of you made a move. You hummed into his soft hair in hazy satisfaction.

“That was nice,” your hoarse voice drew Sanemi’s eyes to your half-asleep face.

He chuckled.

“Just nice?”

You tousled his hair, feigning a pout.

“What, you need your ego stroked?”

Sanemi snaked his hand down your body, flicking your still-sensitive nub with a finger. Your body jerked involuntarily, a cry escaping from your lips. You whined at him, burying your face in your hands in embarrassment.

“I made you come twice,” Sanemi said. “How many times did that piece of shit you call a date make you come?”

You mumbled your answer, and Sanemi narrowed his eyes, gently abusing your clit again. You squirmed in an attempt to get away, but he was still buried to the hilt inside of you.

“He didn’t-” you said, fingers digging into the sheets on either side of you.

“That’s what I thought,” Sanemi ground against you, and you wriggled against the intense feeling of overstimulation. “Pretty girls like you deserve to be treated well, don’t you think?”

If you hadn’t been blushing before, you definitely were now. All you could manage was a nod as Sanemi slowly pulled out of you. You whimpered at the loss, feeling empty and cold as he tied off the condom and tossed it in the trash.

“What do pretty girls like you deserve?” Sanemi lifted your chin with his fingers.

“To be… treated well?”

Sanemi had a satisfied grin plastered on his face, and he kissed you deeply before pulling back and nodding.

“So how about you find yourself someone who’ll treat you like a princess?”

His words set your heart fluttering again, and you wet your lips, staring at him expectantly.

“Okay. Have any suggestions?”

His laughter huffed through his nose at your innocent and eager expression. Sanemi kissed the tip of your nose, cradling your jaw in his hand.

“You’re looking at him.”

#sanemi smut #demon slayer smut #kimetsu no yaiba #fic writer #fanfiction #demon slayer fanfic #sanemi x reader #kny sanemi #kny genya

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atticrissfinch · 7 months

Text

Something New (joel miller x fem!reader) (18+)

An optional [standalone] installment of Gimme What I Want

pairing: dom/brat tamer!joel miller x fem!reader summary: Joel wants to introduce you to a new kink warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] no!outbreak, age gap (Joel is 56, reader is 25), watersports (piss!kink), golden shower, established dom/sub relationship, daddy!kink, degradation!kink, humiliation!kink, praise!kink, facial, brief unprotected piv, creampie, brief cockwarming, Joel being v fluffy, reader is shorter than joel and has hair, for possibly the first time ever me glossing over the actual sex. word count: ~3.6K | ao3 warning: PLEASE READ THE TAGS. We’re entering some uncharted territory for me and, from what I’ve seen, most of the fandom. I know this isn’t for everyone!! Please don’t read if you KNOW it won’t be for you! But I’m not trying to be edgy. Don’t want anyone to have the worst day on their blog. So please proceed with caution. But if you’re willing to give it a try, thank you! a/n: Since this is not everyone’s cuppa, I wrote this as an optional fic in my dom!joel series, but it can also be read as a standalone for anyone wanting to dip their toes in this kink 👀

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Kofi

“Looking mighty pensive over there.”

Joel’s head breaks free of the hand cupping his chin as he swivels to look at you where you sit on the other end of the couch, your legs extended toward him. “Mmm?”

You give a short laugh and poke his thigh with your big toe. “Look like you’re somewhere else right now. Take me with you.”

Joel’s expression goes sheepish, reaching out to stroke a hand over your bare foot affectionately. “I’m here, babygirl. Don’t you worry.”

“I like to think I know you better than that. What’s up?”

Joel takes a hefty breath and squeezes your foot. “Just thinkin’ about somethin’.”

“About…?”

His eyes flicker from your face to the couch, nervous in a way you haven’t seen him in a while. “Not real sure how you’re gonna react to it, ‘f I’m bein’ honest.”

Your brow furrows in concern as you sit up, leaning in to place your hand over his and slot your fingers together. “What’s the story, cowboy?”

He sighs and brings your entwined hands to his mouth, kissing the back of yours. “Just thinkin’ about one of the items on my list.”

“Oh?”

“Just somethin’ i'd really like to try, ‘f you’d let me.”

“Well, lay it on me. I already know what’s on that list, you’re not gonna shock me.”

“‘S true, I ‘s’pose,” He acknowledges with a nod. Then Joel is shifting, shuffling fully onto the couch until he’s hovering over you, hands bracketing your head on the armrest and knees straddling your waist. He bows his head down to steal a warm, passionate kiss from your lips, you falling pliant into the couch at his attention. He brushes your nose with his as he asks, “You recall number thirty-four?”

Even without Joel’s overwhelming presence above you, your addled brain wouldn’t be able to scrounge up that information. So you just shake your head.

“A certain special kind of…” Joel trails off to nip at your neck before whispering in your ear, “Shower.”

The tumbleweeds in your head start to clear as another image presents itself. And you know exactly what he’s referring to.

“Oh.”

“Oh,” Joel affirms, sucking kisses into your neck as he gives you a moment to process.

“Fuck, I can’t think with you doing that, daddy,” You protest breathily, swallowing the sudden influx of saliva flooding your mouth at his ministrations.

He chuckles softly against your neck and plants one more peck before pulling away to look back at you. “That better?”

And you’d love to think it is, but just him looking at you like that, the heat buried in his eyes and the sexy lines of his face, doesn’t have you thinking the most clearly. You slowly ease yourself upright, Joel shifting back to accommodate you, granting you some space. You cup his cheek with one hand, studying his face.

“So you want to pee on me?” You state simply, mussing with Joel’s bottom lip. He breaks into a grin and bites playfully at the side of your thumb.

“I just might.”

You did know that had been on his list as a “yes”. Yours remained as a very tentative “maybe”. It had almost been a flat-out “no”, but there hadn’t been many things on that list you had actually put that down for, and something about Joel made almost everything an “up for discussion” option for you. So you’d scribbled it out at the last minute in favor of your current “maybe”.

But the prospect of it…you really are undecided. You’ve seen it every now and again slipped into different porns you’ve watched when you weren’t expecting it and…well, the idea doesn’t seem like the most unappealing thing. Particularly if it’s Joel who would be administering it. Yet you still grapple with a small block in your brain that…Joel wants to piss on you.

You’ve never even seen Joel piss before, not really. Maybe out of the corner of your eye in the bathroom in the mornings when you've slept over, but you’ve never watched him. And you’ve absolutely never fantasized about what it would feel like on your skin. What the reality of that would be.

But Joel’s interest in it has you interested. So you decide to delve.

Your teeth pull at your lip as you look over his face. “Could you maybe…tell me why? From your perspective?”

“I can certainly try,” He mumbles as he kisses the bitten skin of your thumb. He takes your hand in his again and holds it in his lap. “For me, I think, what draws the appeal is the total submission.”

“Oh, am I not submissive enough for you yet?” You tease, nipping a kiss onto his scruffy chin.

“Pain in my ass 24/7,” He rebuttals, pinching your chin between his fingers in retaliation and capturing your lips in another brief, fiery kiss. As he continues his justification, his breath fans out over your lips and face. “I want you covered in me. I want you on your knees, soaked head to toe in my spit, come, and piss and every combination in between. See how prissy you are then.”

Shit.

“I think you’d look so goddamn pretty covered in me. So doe-eyed and vulnerable. Such a beautiful, desperate little slut.”

“Y-yeah?” You stutter out.

You swallow thickly as his words settle right between your legs. And the way he lays it out for you has you seeing his side pretty clearly. Has your skin growing hot and your pussy growing wet. His eyes bore into yours and you can see the moment he can tell that he’s got you.

He retains his hold on your chin as he looks down on you. “What do you think, babygirl? You want daddy to own you like that? Degrade you, humiliate you like that?”

“M-maybe,” You mumble, trying to hold out on him just a little longer before you cave at the slightest push.

“Maybe? Maybe you wanna be daddy’s little whore who does whatever he says? Maybe you wanna be his little piss slut?”

You give a stilted nod and a shaky, “Maybe.”

Joel’s jaw shifts as he quirks an eyebrow at you. “A ‘maybe’ is just a ‘no’ until it’s a ‘yes’, babygirl. Can’t do shit with ‘maybe’.”

You do your best to mull it over in your head, despite you already knowing the answer. You play the image in your mind, what you imagine it would be like. On your knees in the shower, gazing up at him as that shoots out of his cock and onto your skin. The warmth of it, the taboo, the true humiliation. Him completely fucking owning you in a way you never thought you’d let him.

Your voice is muted, but sure, as you say, “Yes.”

A wicked smile crosses his face as he caresses your cheek. “That’s my girl.”

“But-but I have some stipulations,” You interject, pushing past your instinct to just let him do it right here, right now, consequences be damned.

“Stipulate away.”

You capture his eyes with your own, and he waits patiently for you to share your thoughts.

“Ok. First, I want some preparation time. So, in other words, not tonight.”

“Damn,” He mutters, but ultimately nods, “Okay.”

“Mainly because I want you hydrated. Like, freakishly hydrated, please. At least the first time we do it.”

Joel rolls his eyes a little, but nods again. “We can discuss that a little more after the first time. After we get you acclimated.”

Your nose crinkles. “Why?”

“Don’t worry about it right now. I will be hydrated as a goddamn fish the first time, babygirl. What else?”

You opt not to think too much about what he could be implying with that comment and press onward. You take a breath and reassure your gaze on his as you insist, “Not in my mouth.”

Joel’s face immediately pinches in disappointment, and he counters with, “What about on your mouth? Just across your lips. No requirement to taste it.”

You pout your lips to the side in consideration. Your mind likes the idea of Joel degrading you that way, but you’re hesitant about the actual taste. You don’t have much of a clue what to anticipate on that front, but if he says you don’t have to taste it, you suppose you can let him have that much. You finally sigh and nod. “Okay. That’s fine. I can compromise on that.”

“Yeah? You sure?”

“You trying to talk me out of it, cowboy?” You challenge with a cheeky smile.

He holds his hands up with a shake of his head. “Not at all. Just don’t want you to feel pressured, babygirl.”

“I don’t feel pressured. This is my decision. And I know we can reevaluate at any time if we need to. I’m just feeling this out for now.”

Joel offers you a gentle smile and a stroke to your cheek. “Understood, babygirl.”

You take another weighted breath and then nod. “Then that’s all I have at the moment.”

“Okay,” Joel relays resolutely, gripping your jaw in his hand and burrowing his heated gaze into yours. “In that case, I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t walk, right fuckin’ now. Right on this fuckin’ couch. Got any stipulations about that?”

You don’t.

And he shows you how grateful he is for your acquiescence one deep stroke and dirty whisper at a time.

—

The night comes three days later, over the weekend where you have ample time to spend together. Joel abides by his promise, and you spy him downing several full bottles’ worth of water throughout the day. Whenever he catches you staring as he sips, he gives you a sly little wink.

By the time you’re both stripped naked and he has you bent over the edge of his bed in the evening, stuffed full to the brim of his cock, you’re feeling wired and almost desperate for the new experience.

“Oh shit, daddy’s comin’, baby. Get on those fuckin’ knees,” He commands as he pulls out of your spent cunt, and you slide off the edge of the bed and onto your knees in front of him. He tilts your chin up with one hand as he strokes himself off, finally shooting his come all over your face with a feral grunt. Thick ropes paint across your nose, lips, and eyelashes.

Joel brushes a finger against your lash to rid what he can from getting into your eye and pushes the digit into your mouth for you to suck clean.

“Good girl, baby. So pretty like this.”

You lax the suction around his finger, only for him to press firmly down on your tongue with his thumb. Your eyelids flutter as you look up at him.

He serves you a no-nonsense look as he stares you down. “Don’t you touch that come on your lips. Not a single swipe of that tongue. We clear?”

Robbed of speech, you just nod.

“I got other plans for that mess,” He mutters as he releases your tongue to haul you off the ground by the arm. “Bathroom.”

You stumble after him as he pushes into the en-suite. You watch, vibrating with an anxiousness that vacillates between truly nervous and excited, as he carefully folds a clean towel and deposits it on the floor of the open shower cubicle. He nods towards the makeshift cushion and instructs you to kneel.

You nimbly step into the shower and drop to your knees, deeply grateful for the additional padding. Joel latches the glass door behind him, a loose fist around his semi-hard cock as he stands before you, looking down on you where you remain in complete subservience.

“This what you want, babygirl?”

You nod up at him.

“I need a ‘yes daddy’.”

“Yes, daddy,” You utter, eyes not able to choose between taking in his cock or his face.

“‘Yes, daddy’ what?” He presses, massaging his balls gently.

“Yes, daddy, please piss on me.”

“Good girl,” He rasps, prolonging the vowels in his response. “If you don’t like it, you safeword, and I stop. No questions. Like always. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” You recite back.

“Okay. Keep those lips closed nice and tight unless you want a big surprise, baby,” He warns, his eyes shuttering closed and a breathy moan gracing his lips as he feels a much different release approaching.

As soon as he feels it cascading out the tip, his eyes snap back open to take in the sight of you being hit with his piss for the first time. The stream shoots straight for your chin, and you instinctively tighten up your face, drawing your lips and eyelids closed.

It is warm, as you’d anticipated. Kind of hot, actually. A rapidly cooling 98.6 degrees pelting your skin. And it’s…fuck, it’s nice. It’s a pleasant feeling, despite the reality of the substance.

Joel laughs breathily as the stream of piss streaks down your neck and across your peaked nipples.

“Open those eyes, babygirl. Watch what daddy’s doin’ to his little girl.”

You somewhat reluctantly force them open and are met with the sight of Joel’s fingers looped around the outrageous thickness of his still-softening cock, and the nearly clear liquid jettisoning from the slit onto your already slick tits. You whimper shamelessly at the sensation as Joel smirks open-mouthedly at your reaction.

“There we go. That’s what I thought. Knew you’d be a good little piss bitch.”

You whine as you dip a hand between your legs, rubbing at your sore, damp clit as streams of Joel’s piss rush down your stomach.

“Gonna clean my come off your face now. Shut tight,” He reminds, and you nod as you squeeze your lips together. With that, he takes a step forward and tilts the head of his cock upward, squirting you directly on the mouth with his hot piss.

Another whimper escapes the back of your throat as he sprays off the pearly evidence of his load from your cheeks and nose.

“Fuck, that’s so sexy, babygirl. Takin’ it so good for me,” He encourages as his warmth splatters your face and into your hairline. “Fuckin’ dirty girl, doin’ this for your daddy, huh?”

You want to answer but don’t dare risk the consequences, opting to nod aggressively instead as you squeeze your tit with your hand and grind against your fingers desperately.

Joel groans as his stream starts to sputter out, spewing shorter and shorter jets of his hot, sterile filth onto your skin. He crowds your space, resting the slit of his cock on the tip of your upturned chin as he milks himself empty and spills out the last of his piss in dribbling rivulets down the expanse of your neck.

Your gasps go hungrier as your fingers rub at your clit, Joel tapping the urine-soaked head against your chin.

“You gonna come again with daddy’s piss dripping down your clit, baby? Show daddy what a good little whore you are. Come on those piss-drenched little fingers,” He orders, and that’s all it takes for you to scream out your orgasm, getting the briefest taste of his heady, forbidden spend on your lips as they part, hurtling you over the edge.

“Shit, baby,” He pants out, slapping his hand against the wall of the shower and breathing like he just ran a lap rather than expelled a normal bodily function. “Been holding that in all fuckin’ day for you, pretty girl.”

You stare up at him with wide eyes and dare to dart your tongue across your lips, sampling the taste of him on your skin. You see his expression collapse into one of pure, devastating desire at the act, extending a hand to glide across your dripping cheek and over your damp lip.

You open up wider, answering the unasked question on his face, and he slips it into your mouth with an aroused curiosity in his features. You suck on him diligently, wetly, savoring the way his fluids and his flesh meld together on your tastebuds. Enjoying it more than you thought you might.

It helps exponentially that it’s him. It’s your dom, feeding you a part of himself. Your desire to please him, give him whatever he wants, flooding your mind with your own reciprocal pleasure. You feel so secure being at his mercy, bending your will to his, that in this moment you feel like you would do anything for this man. Not a doubt in your mind that he knows what is best for you, knows what you’ll love even before you know it yourself.

“Such a good girl,” He croons, crouching down to your level. You can see the small battle in his head as his eyes remain fixed on your mouth, then the decision being made as he pulls you forward by the jaw and places a soft, plush, chaste kiss to your lips. He falls away with a soft laugh and his forehead pressed to yours. “That wouldn’t be worth tasting anywhere but off your lips, babygirl.”

“It’s not so bad,” You admit bashfully, running your nose along his. “No part of you could be bad, daddy.”

“No part of you neither, baby. And daddy is so pleased with you. You did so good, princess. So obedient. Lettin’ daddy teach you somethin’ new.”

“I don’t know if it’s something I wanna do all the time, but…” You trail off, but Joel shakes his head, his nose bumping against yours as he refuses to separate from you.

“Only on real special occasions. I agree.”

Joel drops to a wide stance on his knees, enveloping you in his arms and holding you close to him, kissing your head.

“Will you wash me?” You whisper into him as your fingers fiddle with the sparse hair on his chest.

Joel gives a sigh filled with contentment as he wends his fingers through the hair at your scalp. “Do whatever you want me to, precious girl. You earned it.”

He washes you tenderly, massaging your head as he lathers in your shampoo, kissing down your shoulder as your body wash is rinsed away. Delicately cleaning the folds of your pussy with the hot water and kickstarting a warm pool in your belly with his calloused fingers which he decidedly does no further tending to, even as he washes himself down and you beg into the humid air for him to fuck you again.

He dries you with a fluffy towel and offers you another for your damp hair. When you’re both settled in bed, he pulls your back into his chest and tangles his legs with yours, peppering your clean skin with more kisses.

“Daddy? Can I ask you something?”

“‘Course, baby.”

“You mentioned we could discuss the whole…hydration thing later. When we were setting the ground rules.”

“I did,” He affirms, grazing his teeth along your skin and raising the hair on your arm in response.

“What did you mean by that?”

Joel doesn’t speak for a beat. Then murmurs, “You really wanna know?”

“Yes, please.”

“Well,” He begins, tightening his hold around your waist and hooking his chin over your shoulder, “That’s a bit of that darker side of me shinin’ through, I think. Y’know, likin’ when you do shit cause I tell ya to, not because you like it. Knowin’ that you’re gonna shut up and take it, no fuss. ‘F I tell you to, you’re gonna get on your knees like a good girl and take my mornin’ piss right on your face, and it don’t matter what I had to drink the night before.”

That has your pussy tingling at just the thought of it. Now that you’ve done it, now that the threshold has been crossed, the two of you can start to experiment with it. Add on another layer of humiliation to his domination when he sees fit.

“Know you’re gonna do what daddy tells you and take it on the chin,” He kisses your collarbone. “And on your cheeks,” He teases, a kiss to your shoulder. “And those perfect tits,” A kiss to your throat. “And anywhere else daddy decides to put it.” A final, bruising kiss to your neck.

“I see,” You reply, struggling to keep your composure at the new prospect.

“Do you, now?” He rumbles in your ear with a smug satisfaction in his voice, his tongue and teeth now fussing with your earlobe.

You moan, rocking your hips back into him. “Please put your cock in me, daddy.”

He exhales through his nose, a smile pressed into your skin. “Three orgasms really not enough for you tonight?”

“Don’t need to come again. Just wanna feel you inside.”

“Yeah? Need daddy to fill you up again?”

“Yes, please,” You gasp as Joel rolls his hips into your ass, his cock hardening against you. “You said whatever I want, remember?”

“Damned if I didn’t, I guess,” He admits, already looping his arm under the back of your knee to create some space for him.

“Thank you, daddy,” You sigh out as he notches at your opening again, your pussy sucking him back in easily with the memory of him already imprinted against your walls.

When he bottoms out inside you, he stills, keeping his leg between yours as he releases your leg to rest on top of his. “Just relax, babygirl,” He mutters, smoothing a hand down your side. “Can drift off if you want. Daddy’s gonna take his time on this one. Just want you to keep him warm.”

“‘Kay,” You mumble, finding his hand and pulling it in your own across your stomach.

And you do let yourself drift, full of Joel in so many senses of the word as he pumps into you with a lazy, intermittent grace until he finally unloads into your cunt and keeps you plugged as you keep him warm. Completely and utterly his.

Since this is such a divisive kink I opted not to tag anyone, sorry!!

Taglist Update: I have decided to decommission my taglist in favor of an updates blog! Please follow@atticrissfinchupdates and opt in for notifications to get notified when I post a new fic!

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#joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou #the last of us #katy wroted fic #daddy!joel miller #dom!joel miller

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mimymomo · 2 years

Text

In ‘Lucas on the Line,’ Lucas Sinclair experienced countless bouts of racism and micro aggressions including but not limited to:

Had children run away from him and refuse to touch him because they thought his Black skin color would rub off on them. This happened IN THE THIRD GRADE! And he never told his parents about it!

Calmed his anxiety about being the only Black kid in his homeroom class by coming to the realization that since there was no other Black kids that meant he most likely wouldn’t be bombed

Had to install a camera in his locker because his property got defaced by a glitter bomb

Lost his first and only black friend/mentor who supported him thanks to an ACTUAL MAKESHIFT BOMB being installed in his locker that caused a janitor to go to the hospital for 1st/2nd degree burns (and the white boy who did it barely got punished)

Got teased that the only reason he got on the basketball team was because he was Black

Comes to the realization that he might’ve actually only gotten in the team because the coach has a history of recruiting Black boys for the team regardless of their skill level

Gets called an Oreo (for uneducated: white on the inside, black on the outside) by racist bullies. Erica (who apparently has also been called this) sticks up for him and is the only one who understands what the insult means which means Mike and Dustin don’t know/understand the lengths of how deep the racism Lucas experiences in Hawkins on a daily bases

And these aren’t even all of them! These are just examples I had from the top of my head!

And despite all this happening in the book, “fans” have STILL FOUND A WAY to turn this book about Lucas and his struggles as a Black boy in a mostly white suburban town and his deteriorating relationship with Max and make it about Byler!

The fact that Lucas, one of the only characters of color on this show, can’t have ANYTHING to himself without people using him to push their ships is so aggravating!

He and Erica constantly get shit talked and miss characterized by fans, get excluded/cut out of group shots, and barely get any fanart/fics about them and their struggles compared to the white characters (I could make a whole new post about the terrible way this fandom treats Erica but I won’t do that here). Hell don’t forget that the fandom constantly tries to dispute the racism Lucas received in S2 from Billy was either not really racism, just a moment that Duffer Bros. put in to “ruin” Billy’s character and ultimately can be tossed out and ignored.

The only time I ever see Lucas get any large amount of attention is either due to 1) Lumax (but let’s be honest: 90% of the lumax tag on here isn’t even about them and has now become Elumax 2.0 and most post are people praising ElMax and then being like “oh Lucas/lumax is cute too” in the tags and that’s it). 2) people creating “parallels” of Lumax to their ship of choice (mostly Byler and Mileven) as a way to say that their ship is gonna be canon or 3) to say that he’s bisexual.

And all that is fine and whatever, ship and headcanon things to your hearts content, but if you only care about Lucas if he’s helping push you ship narrative or because you think he’s gay (to the point where some people actually read snippets of the book that talked about Lucas coming to the realization that Black boys like him can be considered attractive and only acknowledge the “queer” reading of the text and completely ignored the big race element that was the main focus), I’m sorry but, that’s not cool. The fact that 95% of the Lucas Sinclair tag isn’t about Lucas himself but white characters like Steve, Eddie, Byler says everything about how the fandom treats him.

I’m just so tired.

Lucas Sinclair deserves the same respect that the white characters get!

I leave you one of my favorite sections of the entire book: Lucas learning to become unabashedly himself:

Rant over.

Edit: in my blind rage I realized I forgot to edit out the Twitter handle. That’s completely my fault. Please don’t hate that Twitter user. I’m just coming back to fix that.

#stranger things #stranger things spoilers #lucas sinclair #lucas on the line #st season 4 #you know what? I AM gonna tag all the popular ships #if you clog the Lucas/lumax tags I’m gonna clog yours #Byler #steddie #mileven #steve harrington #eddie munson #will byers #mike wheeler #Lucas Sinclair deserves better #also stan lumax for clear skin

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if-you-heart · 1 month

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Analysing Soul’s character with animal behaviour

Something I’ve noticed about how Soul is treated by a portion of the fandom is that, to be honest, their character is extremely misunderstood by a lot of people. And that’s pretty sad! Because I think Soul is a very interesting and complex character. The main thing I’ve noticed is how Soul is often portrayed as the “big bad villain” because of a handful of lyrics throughout the cccc album. I’m not really going to go into the lyrics right now, but I feel like a lot of people are misunderstanding who Soul really is, and are more so looking for a character to pin all of the blame on for everything that goes down in the album.

Thinking about this made me realise that Soul reminds me of a wolf. Specifically, how a lot of people are quick to perceive a wolf’s social behaviour as “aggression” and them simply just being violent towards a “weaker” wolf.

The behaviour wolves display towards other pack mates (growling, nipping, etc) is almost always framed as them harming the other wolf. It may LOOK threatening, and the wolf’s teeth may seem intimidating, but in reality the wolf is being very gentle with its pack mate. It’s more so a corrective behaviour, or a way of showing social status, in most cases. I think Soul suffers from this misinterpretation when they’re lashing out within the lyrics of some of the songs. I believe the main reason it’s misconstrued is because of a general lack of understanding behaviours the viewer hasn’t personally experienced. Ofc this is a literal animal I’m comparing this to, but there’s still something to be said here regardless.

I’ve seen many people so far perceive Soul’s attitude towards Heart and Mind as pure evil and malicious, and barely cutting them any slack whatsoever. Soul isn’t a villain. They’re just exhausted. They’ve been stretched thin over the stress of feeling like a puppet to the other two. They’re what’s left when emotion and logic separates; a husk that’s struggling to survive. When you villainise them solely for how they act in the music, you’re also disregarding that both Heart and Mind are… just as bad. I mean Heart literally tried to kill Mind. None of these guys are evil, but they’re not good people either. The only way they’ll become whole is if they learn to get along, that’s what the album is about. Not one being more right than the other, but about them finally opening up to each other’s viewpoints and accepting one another, albeit hesitantly.

And yes, Soul’s behaviour in the album is ABSOLUTELY pretty toxic. But that’s what stress and depression does to a person!!! They’re very clearly tired of Heart and Mind fighting all the time. They don’t hate Heart OR Mind, but their patience with these two and their nonstop bickering is growing very thin. And that’s completely understandable. Every single one of these freaks start off with an unhealthy dynamic and difficult mindset. But they learn over time to get along until they’re eventually Whole again. There’s no “villain”, and none of them are completely innocent either. It’s just three really depressed guys who desperately want to see the light.

Anyways,

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saintvainglorious · 4 months

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My First Fanbind! A Black Sails Fic Anthology Series

It took me a year (and a lot of anxious research) before I worked up the courage to bookbind fanfiction, and after months of on-again-off-again work, my first fanbind is finally done!

I knew that if I was going to bookbind fic, I had to bind something from the Black Sails fandom, aka the fandom and show that have had the biggest impact on my life. Y'all, I almost went into academia to study slavery in the 17th-18th century Caribbean because of this show - when folks say this show rewires your brain chemistry, they are NOT kidding. THEE show of all time. Happy 10th anniversary to Black Sails! This fandom is small but mighty. May we continue to get our hearts and souls blasted to smithereens by this show for many years to come.

Ao3 abounds with magnificent Black Sails oneshots, so I decided to put together an anthology of my favorite Silverflint fics under 20k, which I split into two volumes. Included are works by @justlikeeddie, @vowel-in-thug, @balloonstand, @annevbonny, @francisthegreat, @nysscientia, and more! Thank you, thank you all, you brilliant wonderful people, for gracing the Internet with such amazing writing. When I read the fics in these anthologies I want to fling myself into the sun.

More on the design and binding process below the cut!

Vol. 1 Page Count: 270 (12 fics) Vol. 2 Page Count: 248 (11 fics) Body Font: Sabon Next LT (10.5 pt) Title Font: Goudy Old Style Other Fonts: IM Fell English, pirates pw

The typeset (which I did in Word) took a while, mainly because I'd never done it before. Manually adjusting the hyphenation line-by-line was especially tedious. After making these books, I abandoned Word in favor of InDesign, in large part because InDesign gives you way finer control over your justification and hyphenation settings.

Regarding my actual design choices, I'm happy with how the ocean motif on the title page turned out (it's not the same pattern as my endpapers, but they're complimentary) and I'm very fond of my divider dingbats, which are little swords! Goudy Old Style was a fun title font to use, since it's the font that Black Sails uses as its logo. The stories in Vol. 1 are divided into parts based on what Silver WAS at that point in the show (cook, quartermaster, or king), and Vol. 2 is split up into comedies, histories (AUs set in the canon universe) and tragedies - befitting Black Sails' Shakespearean ~vibes~.

I stuck to a flatback binding, as I wasn't feeling quite ambitious enough to try rounding and/or backing. I've learned that I ~Anakin Skywalker voice~ hate sanding, enjoy folding/sewing, and don't LIKE edge trimming but enjoy the results enough to make it worth it.

The real adventure was decorating the cover, which remained bare for months. After agonizing over Illustrator and experimenting unsuccessfully with HTV and lokta paper embossing, I ultimately turned to using stencil vinyl to paint on the designs. There was a bit of seepage under some of the stencils, but I was able to scrape off the excess with my Cricut weeding tool without damaging the coated surface of the bookcloth (probably Arrestox Blue Ribbon from Hollander's). Even though it was very time-consuming, I'm so happy with the end result of the stenciled paint job and I intend to stick with stencils for my foreseeable future binds.

Are there things I would change? Sure. It was humid out when I printed, so the pages have got a wave. There’s an extra two pages in Vol 2. that I have no idea how I missed, and I got a line of glue in the middle of one of my Vol. 2 endpapers. I’m pretty sure I didn’t case in quite right, since my endpapers pull away from the case at the spine. I think the inner margins are a bit too big, and despite going line-by-line there’s still some wacky justification spacing in the typeset. But man, am I proud of these books! It is so satisfying to learn a new skill - MANY new skills, if we’re being honest - and to make something both beautiful and practical. If I’m still binding in two years or so, I can see myself redoing the typeset in InDesign, cutting out the existing text block, and reusing the cases. I’m also already planning for Vol. 3, which will be Silverflint Modern AUs.

Thanks for reading!

#bookbinding #fanbinding #ficbinding #my books #black sails #silverflint #fanfiction #bsanniversary #10yearsblacksails #10bsfest

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fullmoonandstar · 4 months

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Common Interests

Gale x gn Tav / Reader

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3

Rating: T

Word count: 1.3 k

CW: Dyslexia, vague mentions of past trauma

Summary: Your crush is well-read and you want to be close to him by picking up a book. It would be a good strategy if reading wasn't so hard.

Dyslexic gn Tav/Reader wants to impress Gale

A/N: inspired by this post

You were so concentrated on the task at hand that you didn’t notice the footsteps behind. You had found a nice secluded spot a bit away from the camp and settled on a fallen tree to continue your reading as you had done for the past few days.

“What are you doing?”

The question carried a smile, but you jerked, and the book slipped out of your hands. Gale snatched it out of the air, and you grasped at nothing.

“Hmm … an interesting read you have here. I would recommend following up with Sara Ibb’s take on the topic. They give a more balanced view.”

You felt your face burn and prayed to the gods that Gale was too distracted by your choice of book (you had found it in the cellar of an abandoned house) to notice.

He rattled on about the nuances of using weave grass in potions, and you could not help but let the corners of your mouth creep upwards. Gale’s enthusiasm made your insides feel all warm and soft.

“Oh, I totally lost you in the barrage of words. I …” Gale laughed nervously. “How did you like the book?”

“It was good.” you said a bit too quickly.

His eyes narrowed slightly, and he looked at you suddenly intrigued, as if you were a puzzle to be solved.

“Come, my friend, what did you really think?”

You panicked. What would be an acceptable thing to say? Your heart beat faster, and you were stuck between wanting to flee and not being able to so without making a bad impression.

The seconds dragged on, but no words left your mouth. Gale watched your silent struggle for another heartbeat before sitting down next to you and waited.

"It’s hard to read." you said finally. Gale’s brows furrowed and you stammered an explanation. "I can understand it, I can read, but it’s so difficult to read.

"Why?" Gale asked softly. The ball of anxiety and embarrassment was melted away by his warm presence. You had been so caught up in your own head that you had forgotten how save Gale made you feel, like you could tell him everything.

"I’m not sure how to explain it." you paused to think. "It’s like the letters come in and out of focus, like they move around on the page if I don’t give it all my attention."

Gale nodded slowly in the corner of your eye, but you couldn’t look at him. You had never told anyone about this and if you were honest, your school days and the embarrassment that was your inadequate reading skills were still hanging in the back of your mind.

"I hope you don’t think me rude, but why are you reading that if it’s hard for you? I remember you saying you are not big on books."

Now he had hit the target, the big question.

"Which is understandable for someone with your condition."

"My condition?"

"Dyslexia, from the sound of it."

"Is it fatal?"

Gale laughed, and his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"No, and it’s not contagious either." He smiled at you, the sweetest thing you had seen in a while.

"As far as we know, it stems from individual difference in how the brain works and has nothing to do with intelligence or lack thereof. People with it have problems reading or writing, in various degrees of severely. It’s pretty common, but before when reading was a skill not many were allowed to learn, we didn’t notice that about 1 in 10 people has problems with it. You should have seen Val, their writing was atrocious but a very fine wizard indeed." He smiled wistfully. "You have nothing to worry about."

You looked at the book in your hands in a new light. Since your school days, you had struggled, but now at least you had a name for the trouble you had.

"Thank you, Gale."

Your eyes met, and your heart skipped a beat. He looked stunning just sitting next to you, and a warm wave of affection rolled over you. You opened your mouth to say something when Gale leaned over. For a moment, you thought he would kiss you, but he reached out and took the book.

"Do you want me to read it to you? Or maybe something else? I have a collection at my tent." He gave you a bright smile while you still recovered.

Snap out of it, you told yourself, you’re acting like a love sick puppy.

"Choose whatever sounds interesting."

"You want to read to me?" you said when your brain had caught up.

"Yes, I do enjoy the sound of my own voice, and you seek knowledge."

Gale was someone who talked a lot, but you would be lying if you said you did not like that about him. It was his openness that drew you in, in the first place.

He studied your face and added: "That’s very attractive."

A twig snapped behind you and both, you and Gale jumped.

"There you are!" Karlach appeared with a leaf in her hair that was sizzling.

"Food is almost ready, let’s get back before we eat everything without you."

Shadowheart was not a chef cook by any means, but she and Wyll had a good tag team on the hearth. You ate with gusto, and forgot all about your conversation with Gale.

After dinner, he came over and said:

"My offer still stands. If you'd like, you can come over at any time."

"Now?"

"Sure, come." He held out his hand to help you stand up from the log you were sitting on, and you took it.

Gale had not been lying about the collection he had.

"You carry all this in your bag?!"

"Not technically, I have this pocket dimension…"

"Wizard stuff."

He laughed.

"Yes, Wizard stuff."

You found a book that sounded interesting and handed it to him.

"Ah, yes, I could have known this one would pique your interest."

Gale sat down on his bedroll, and you sat next to him.

"Strap in, you will love this. Such a good read."

————————-

When you opened your eyes, you panicked, not knowing where you were and why you felt so warm. This was not your tent, and you lay under a blanked with a warm body pressed to you, an arm holding you in place. The memory of last night came back to you. Gale reading to you, and you were slowly shifting from a sitting position to lying down on his bedroll. At some point, you must have drifted off to a dreamless sleep, the first one since your infection.

Gale stirred, nuzzling your neck sleepily before freezing.

"Oh, I’m sorry." he said and began to pull back, but you caught his hand as it retreated.

"Don’t." You pull his hand back into the position it was, you tight in his arm and his body pressed against your back. "It’s nice. Let’s stay a bit longer."

He said your name, and you looked over your shoulder. His hair was in disarray, but it made him even more endearing, not less.

"Why did you start reading books?"

He had asked the question that you had not answered the day before, and it seemed he already knew the answer.

"There is this person I like, they are really smart, and I wanted to be closer to them. To him."

Gale shifted until you were on your back, facing him. You noticed the little wrinkles the pillow had made on his face but also the fullness of his lips. His eyes studied your face and got caught by your lips.

You reached out and ran your fingers from his temple down the side of his face through his soft beard. Your hand on his chin, you nudged him to lean in, and he followed your request.

Check my Masterlist for more

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale of waterdeep #gale x reader #gale x tav #gale dekarios #bg3 fanfiction

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scoobydoodean · 5 months

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what’s your opinion on “lebanon”? as it actually is in the show and how fans/fic writers interpret/approach it.

cause i’ve been binge-reading “lebanon” fics and i’ve noticed two patterns: sam might argue with john or he stays calm but regardless he preaches to dean about what a terrible father john was, and dean always falls back into his performing and just keeps defending john. now i love all that angst, really i love it so much, these fics are phenomenally written… but i’m just wondering if i’m crazy to think that dean wouldn’t actually fall back into that role to such an extent, and whether the episode actually kinda got it right by having dean feel secure with his family as it is. iirc my issue with the episode is that neither dean nor sam got to express any issues with john in an honest but civil way (and that john is too nice) but that still i liked dean’s expression of security, but tbh it’s been awhile since i last watched it so maybe i’m missing/misremembering smth… thanks!

One of the strangest things I see in fandom is how many people's sense of how Sam views John versus how Dean views John is just flat out wrong. The idea that Dean is always defending John while Sam is always criticizing him the whole show is negated over and over and over in the actual show itself—extremely overtly.

There's two issues here in my mind that lend to this fandom problem.

The fandom accepting Sam and Dean's "John Narratives" at face value in the early episodes of season 1. For example, watching 1.08 "Bugs", where Dean claims to have no resentments toward John and says Sam also was a dick during Sam and John's fight, and going, "Well there we go. Dean has no resentments and refuses to criticize John but Sam will." At this point, we already know from 1.06 "Skin" that Dean does have resentments toward John for not appearing to care about him and for abandoning him, and we get further indications in 1.11, and 1.21 in this season alone. Another example is Sam and Dean's clashes in 1.10 "Asylum" and in 1.11 "Scarecrow", which are largely analyzed by the fandom as moments where Dean is blindly following orders when they have some other, better option Sam is pushing, and Dean is just refusing to go along with Sam's much better ideas because he's too focused on believing their dad knows best... when that is not actually what is happening at all. Sam's alternative plans in the beginning of 1.10 and 1.11 are absolutely stupid. In 1.10, he wants to call the FBI on John to find him. That's his big idea—instead of following the coordinates John just sent them and seeing if he's there. In 1.11, Sam's big bright idea on finding John is to abandon some people to die on a time-sensitive case so he can go search all of Sacramento for John with nothing but an area code. His plans are dumb, plain and simple—and while we do see Dean hiding his own resentments in these episodes too, that does not remain true—which brings me to the other issue here.

Fandom doesn't leave room for the brothers perspectives on John and their outward expressions of those perspectives to shift or mature over the series. This is particularly funny because their perspectives are literally swapping over the course of season 1, and have pretty much fully swapped by 2.02.

Sam's shifting season 1 perspective on John

What actually happens in season 1, is that Sam, who starts out burning with resentment and hurt toward John for disowning him and being a smothering drill sergeant and absent, binge-drinking dad, slowly begins empathizing him because he's now suffered a similar trauma and is having extreme difficulty coping with it himself! Sam's empathy for and understanding of John (and hell—even respect for John handling it as well as Sam thinks he was capable) is already beginning to show in 1.02—where Sam asks Dean "How does Dad do it?" (i.e., deal with the same burning rage and desperation for vengeance that is tearing Sam apart) (gifset). In 1.04, he learns John was bragging about Sam's accomplishments to other people (gifset). In 1.08, when Dean tells Sam that John was never actually disappointed in him—that he was scared Sam would get hurt if he wasn't around (gifset here) a lot of Sam's anger about the Stanford fight fades. He ends the episode saying "Dad did the best he could" (a repeated quote often misattributed as coming more from Dean) and saying he wants to find him to apologize to him for the things he said (gifset). John and Sam share a heartfelt, tearful hug in 1.16—at the end of which Sam begs John not to leave, and in 1.20, John himself apologizes and explains what was going on in his head when they fought, and it ends with them smiling and laughing as they acknowledge they understand each other and they're the same. I track Sam and John's relationship through the tag, #we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone because Sam says that during that conversation in 1.20 (gifset).

Dean's shifting season 1 perspective on John

At the same time this shift is happening in Sam, we see Dean going the exact opposite direction. He starts out believing John has their best interest at heart even if they don't understand his actions, but the resentment is there too (1.06). In 1.09 and in 1.12, Dean needs help desperately, and John doesn't answer. While Sam is learning that John actually cares about him, Dean is growing more and more concerned that John doesn't care about him (Dean) specifically. We see this resentment start to come out (season 1 compilation set here) in 1.20, when John says he wants to keep the boys safe and that's why he's ditching them, and Dean calls it "A bunch of crap". Dean begins standing up to John to his face from this episode onward—finishing 1.20 with a "Yeah well we saved your ass" in response to John saying they disobeyed him. In 1.21, John tries to get on his case, and Dean lays into him about not answering the phone and specifically about abandoning Dean when Dean needed him in 1.09 and 1.12. In 1.22, Sam tries to get his way by telling Dean that John wouldn't want them to bring The Colt to save him, and Dean yells "I don't care what Dad wants!" and then when Sam starts throwing the blame on him for everything, Dean says,

Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.

Dean has compared Sam and John more than once during the series, and it has never ever been a compliment.

Sam and Dean in the rest of the series

Sam and Dean's interactions about John in rest of the series are... almost universally the opposite of what the fanfics you've picked up suggest. Their interactions almost always show Dean criticizing John and Sam keeping silent or defending him, or reiterating that John did what he had to/the best he could.

Gifset on Dean's whole season 2 "Fuck John Winchester" vibe here.

In 2.01, Dean shouts at John for (it appears) abandoning him to die:

DEAN Come on, Dad. You've gotta help me. I've gotta get better, I've gotta get back in there. I mean, you haven't called a soul for help. You haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do anything? Aren't you even going to say anything? I've done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I have given everything I've ever had. And you're just going to sit there and you're going to watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?

Sam and John have a horrible fight where John blames him for Dean's condition and Sam tells him to go to Hell only for him to make a demon deal and literally go to Hell that same day (gifset) and Sam tries to start another fight right before John dies but John refuses to engage (gifset). The result ends up being that Sam and Dean have fully swapped places on John by 2.02 with John's death as the catalyst. John's death leaves Sam with regrets that their last interaction was Sam trying to start a fight (2.02). He decides he wants to hunt in John's memory (2.02) (gifset1, gifset2) while a part of Dean desperately wants to quit the life altogether—he's clawing the walls but feels helplessly trapped (2.09, 2.10, 2.20).

Sam defends John while Dean suggests John lead them down the wrong path with a dogmatic rule book (2.03). He demands they go to Lawrence so he can place John's dog tags over Mary's grave (2.04). He spends the season regurgitating John's orders, pushing Dean to do what John told him to do (2.11, 2.14, 2.20) while Dean wants to quit the life (2.09, 2.10, 2.20) and burns with anger toward John. In 2.10, Dean says "I wish to god he'd never opened his mouth!" about John.

In 2.11 "Playthings":

SAM (shoving DEAN to face him) Dean! Dad told you to do it, you have to. DEAN Yeah, well, Dad's an ass! (SAM frowns in confusion) He never should have said anything! I mean, you don't do that, you don't, you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids! SAM No. He was right to say it! Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies!

We see Dean seething with resentment while Sam defends John's orders and tries to enforce them on Dean, carrying the legacy of their father in more ways than one.

Over and over, we get indications that a part of John treated Dean as disposable while he sheltered Sam, and that Dean is increasingly aware of the impact that's difference has had on him—to the point he realizes his father's neglect and abuse is the reason he isn't fighting to save himself in 3.10 "Dream A Little Dream Of Me". Dean and John's relationship is intentionally paralleled with a physically abusive relationship between a father and son in this same episode (gifset, meta), and in this episode, Dean rejects his father as an "obsessed bastard", calls Bobby his father (gifset), and decides from this point forward, he's going to fight to save himself from his demon deal because fuck John Winchester.

DREAM DEAN Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you? DEAN Son of a bitch! My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He– who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to Hell!

And yeah! Dean also still loves John! And more than that—he craves John's protection. We see this in 3.14 "Long Distance Call" when the Crocotta calls to Dean as John from beyond the grave, telling Dean exactly what Dean wants to hear: "I never wanted this. Never. You're my boy, I love you. I can't watch you to go to hell, Dean," and telling Dean he can save him. This is pure longing for the love and protection Dean has always desired from John but feels like he's never received. Instead, he's always felt disposable.

In season 4? Oh boy... we get this incredible bit in 4.10 between Dean and Anna:

ANNA I was stationed on earth 2,000 years. Just... watching... silent... invisible... out on the road... sick for home... waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that -- DEAN laughs. ANNA What is so funny? What? DEAN Nothing. Sorry. It's just...I can relate.

Then in after meeting Adam in 4.19, Sam and Dean have a fight about whether to bring Adam hunting with them or leave him to a normal life:

DEAN 'Hunting is life. You can't have connections.' Dad gave you that exact same speech, remember? It was just before you ditched us for Stanford. You hated Dad for saying that stuff, and now you're quoting him? SAM Yeah, well, turns out Dad was right. DEAN Since when? SAM Since always. Dean, when I look at Adam, you know what I see? DEAN A normal kid. SAM No. Meat. Because the demons and monsters out there, that's all he is. I hated Dad for a long time. I did. But now I think I understand. So we didn't have a dog and a white picket fence. So what? Dad did right by us. He taught us how to protect ourselves. Adam deserves the same. DEAN Listen to yourself, man. SAM You think I’m wrong? DEAN I think it's too late for us. This is our life. This is who we are, okay? And it's fine. I accept that. But with Adam, he's still got a chance, man. He can go to school. He could be a doctor.

Sam says John did right by them. Dean thinks he absolutely didn't, but they can't change who they are now—they can only keep others from falling down the same path.

At the end of the episode? Oh boy...

DEAN You know, I finally get why you and Dad butted heads so much. You two were practically the same person. SAM looks over. DEAN I mean, I worshipped the guy, you know? I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listen to the same music. But you were more like him than I will ever be. And I see that now. SAM I'll take that as a compliment. DEAN You take it any way you want.

It is NOT a compliment.

In 5.16, Dean is confronted with god's intentional absence, and burning with resentment, says to Joshua,

Forget it. Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right. I’m used to that. I’ll muddle through.

In 5.13, Sam takes the opportunity presented to him by young John's presence to defend their father and tell John that he forgives him (gifset).

JOHN Look, how long have you known about this...hunting stuff? SAM Pretty much forever. My dad raised me in it. JOHN You're serious? Who the hell does that to a kid? SAM Well, I mean, for the record, Mary's parents did. JOHN I don't care. You know, what kind of irresponsible bastard lets a child anywhere near—Y-you know, you could've been killed! SAM I, uh...came kind of close. SAM laughs. JOHN The number it must've done on your head...Your father was supposed to protect you. SAM He was trying. He died trying. Believe me. SAM sits down on the bench under a window. SAM I used to be mad at him. I—I mean, I used to... I used to hate the guy. But now I—I... I get it. He was...just doing the best he could. And he was trying to keep it together in—in—in this impossible situation. See... My mom, um... She was amazing, beautiful, and she was the love of his life. And she got killed. And...I think he would have gone crazy if he didn't do something. Truth is, um, my dad died before I got to tell him that I understand why he did what he did. And I forgive him for what it did to us. I do. And I just—I love him.

What Lebanon does is present Sam with the opportunity to reiterate his forgiveness toward a John who understands the context:

SAM Dad… for me? That fight… that was a lifetime ago. I don’t even remember what I said, and – I mean… yeah. You know what? You did some messed-up things. But I don’t… I mean, when I think about you… [voice breaks] and I think about you a lot… I don’t think about our – our fights. I think about you… I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye. JOHN Sam. Son. I am so sorry. SAM I’m sorry, too. But you did your best, dad. You – you fought for us, and you loved us, and… that’s enough.

So yeah! The fanfic narrative here where Sam is Mr. "Dad was bad" and Dean is Mr. "Nooo dad did the best he could" IS ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!!!!!

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dyaz-stories · 5 months

Text

how long will I slide? || Eun Hyuk x Reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings & tags: angst, big spoilers for s1 of sweet home, that should be it?

A/N: Written for day one of @neohumanmonster's fandom event, Turning a New Leaf. Prompt: The Other Side. He's the one I had an idea for for that theme, but I actually haven't watched s1 of Sweet Home in a couple of years, so I hope this feels in character for Eun Hyuk, and that it's not too incoherent for the setting of s1!

Eun Hyuk has eyes everywhere in the Green House apartment building — as much as he possibly can, at least. He’s used to studying efficiently,to taking as much information from a page as possible in a single glance. He’d never thought his abilities would be used in that way. That he’d end up sitting in front of footage coming from surveillance cameras, making sure not to let anything go unnoticed, because that would be the best way for him to be helpful to the people around him.

Oh, he doesn’t just do that. He’s taken up most of the tasks that require organization, wouldn’t trust others with it, if he’s being honest, but this is where he spends the bulk of his days. In front of a screen. Staring. His books forgotten and gathering dust in a corner of the room.

He doesn’t get distracted. If his eyes linger when you appear in front of ones of the cameras, it’s just because you’ve been vocal about thinking that other solutions were needed, and he doesn’t want you to endanger everyone by trying to put one of them in action. That’s all there is to it. He doesn’t have time for anything else anyway.

So when one of his screens flickers, he notices immediately. His mind starts running through the possibilities as he leans toward it, all of them bad. Any kind of system failure would be disastrous. Loss of electricity would be close to a death sentence. A camera being destroyed could mean that the monsters are getting better at finding them, smarter, which would mean they’re evolving.

And the last possibility, that he’s having a hallucination because his monsterization symptoms are progressing…

Well, he coldly evaluates, it would depend. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, if the residents could evacuate before he loses control completely.

When the screen lights back on, and he’s met with his own eerily smiling face and eyes gone completely black, he’s almost relieved.

Good, he thinks. I’ll be able to help as long as the cameras work.

“Will you?” his other self asks as it spreads to the other screens like a virus, voice coming out like a screech through the speakers. “Are you sure you’re helping them?”

He supposes it shouldn’t surprise him that the monster knows how to get under his skin, and yet he sits straighter at the question.

“Of course I am. Without me—”

“Maybe if they’d run when they wanted to, most of them would be safe right now,” the monster says, admitting out loud a fear that’s been eating at Eun Hyuk since the very start of this forced confinement. “Maybe you’re killing them by making them stay here. And really…” It laughs, high-pitched and maniacal. “Using that kid when you’d never have the guts to step out there by yourself?”

“I would,” Eun Hyuk protests, even if he’s aware that there is no actual argument happening here. “But I’m not the same kind of infected person as him. And I’m doing my part here. It’s not like…”

“Like you’re sending a kid out to be tortured only so he can be ostracized here? Sure looks like it.”

“It’s not,” Eun Hyuk repeats, weaker this time.

The monster opens its mouth to speak once more, when there is a soft knock on the door.

“Eun Hyuk?”

It’s you, and the monster’s face lights up as Eun Hyuk’s heart rate picks up.

Out of fear, surely. He doesn’t want you to know about his issues.

“Well how about that?” The monster practically purrs. “The thing you won’t let yourself have. Won’t even admit how badly you want—”

Eun Hyuk’s not really thinking when he picks up one of his notebooks to throw it at the screen. It bounces without any effect, of course, and the monsters starts laughing once more, until that’s all Eun Hyuk can hear, while it gets louder and louder and louder and—

The door opens behind him.

“You weren’t answering—”

“Don’t—”

You freeze in the entrance.

“Don’t what?”

He knows before turning around. Of course he does. Rational, human him is deeply aware that there is no way for you to see the things that his mind is creating.

“…come in before I tell you it’s okay,” he finishes with an even voice. “If you see something you shouldn’t, I don’t want to have to deal with everyone else’s panic.”

You click your tongue at him, and he immediately hates himself for saying it. He doesn’t even mean it. You clearly have everyone’s best interests at heart, even if you believe in a very different way of handling people than he does.

“Well, I just noticed you hadn’t eaten your share yesterday,” you say, and it stings that your tone is biting, particularly when he knows how soft-spoken you can be with others. “I was bringing you something to eat.”

“You should let someone else—”

“You can’t let yourself go weak,” you reply, pushing the food in his hands and folding your arms over your chest. “You know how much people rely on you here. We may not see eye to eye, but the last thing they need is to start worrying about you and thinking you’re not able to lead them anymore.” There’s a second of silence before you add, almost as if you can’t help yourself “Also, you know I already think these rations are too small. You really shouldn’t go a day without eating at least that.”

He glances down at what you brought. True, it’s meager, and yet he feels a smile forming as he looks at it, at the acknowledgement that you were worried about him, even if you didn’t phrase it that way.

“Thank you,” he says.

And just like that, you soften. There’s part of him that finds it ridiculous, how you’ve given him a million second chances, how he’s let you down every time, and how you keep affording them to him still. The other one is so, so infinitely thankful for your kindness.

“Are you okay?” you ask.

He sighs.

“As okay as I can be,” he answers, pushing his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think anyone is doing good.”

You nod gravely, then brush your hands over your jeans.

“Alright. Well then, I’ll leave you to—”

His hand shoots out to grab your wrist before he can hold it back and before you get too far away. You turn around to look at him, surprised and a little confused.

“Can you— would you mind eating with me?”

He could justify himself. Tell you he doesn’t like eating alone, even if he’s been doing it since his parents died, tell you he needs another set of eyes on the screen while he’s eating, tell you he needs to talk to you about one of the residents. He doesn’t, though. You read him a little too well, could probably tell that he’s lying. And he hopes that, with that big heart of yours, you’ll just…

“Sure,” you answer.

You grab a chair, pull it so you can sit facing him. As you sit down, your knees brush against his. The gesture feels surprisingly comfortable, in a way that he hopes doesn’t bring too much color to his cheeks.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“It gets lonely in here,” he answers, which technically isn’t a lie.

There’s a wrinkle on your forehead as you study him, one that forms whenever you’re concerned.

He’s more used to seeing the one between your eyebrows directed at him, the one that’s there when you’re annoyed.

“You can always ask me to keep you company,” you say, and his heart skips a beat. He’s sure you didn’t mean it like that, tries to pretend that it’s the monster that stirs his mind in that direction, but he knows, deep down, that that’s not the truth. That he’s actually desperate to know that someone like you could see value in someone like him.

But the truth is, if anything, you see value in everyone but him.

It doesn’t matter that you’re looking at him with these eyes, that you’re sitting with him, that you brought him food. You’re kind. You’d do that for just anyone.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he tells you flatly once he’s gotten himself back under control. “Thank you for doing that.” Then, after a moment, “Anything I should know about what’s going on out there?”

You start answering, soft voice describing all sorts of meaningless details that you’ve noticed and apparently care about. Eun Hyuk keeps his back to the cameras. He still sees, from the corner of his eye, the monster taunting him. But as long as you’re here, so real, so soft, so human, he knows he can resist its pull.

Too bad he doesn’t know how long you’ll stick around for him.

first time writing for eun hyuk and it was quite interesting to do! also i think i need to try my hand at writing him before s3 comes out lol. i hope you enjoyed it! reblogs and comments are strongly appreciated and keep me motivated and writing :)

more writing for sweet home

#sweet home #sweet home netflix #sweet home imagine #sweet home x reader #lee eunhyuk #lee eun hyuk #lee eunhyuk x reader #eunhyuk x reader #lee eun hyuk x reader #eun hyuk x reader #my writing

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baileypie-writes · 5 months

Text

~In Love with my Idol - Part 2~

Velvet x Fem!Pop Star!Reader

Part 1 here!

Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together

Relationship: Romantic

Synopsis: After your concert, you go on a first date with Velvet.

Warnings: A minor suggestive joke, though nothing happens. Sharing feelings, cringe but I kinda did it on purpose.

Requested by: @reizuuuu

A/N ~ Hope you enjoy! Also, merry day-after-Christmas!(it’s one in the morning for me right now. I need to go to bed)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You don’t think you’ve ever been this excited for one of your concerts to end. You had to stop yourself from completely rushing it. You wanted your fans to be happy, so you gave it your very best, and your concert ended with cheering that nearly busted your eardrums.

After thanking the audience and saying goodbye, you practically bolted backstage. And there Velvet was, waiting for you.

“That was pretty good.” She said, giving you a golf clap. You knew that this was her way of saying “That was awesome! Great job!” So you smiled back at her.

“Thanks!” You said, voice tired and slightly raspy. You fiddled with your fingers, wanting to shyly bring up what you talked about earlier. “So….”

“A date? Sure, where do you wanna go?” She casually asked and answered your question for you, much to your relief.

“Well, I think I’ve had enough paparazzi for one day, so someplace quiet. How about my place? We can order food or something?” You asked.

“Woah, inviting me to your place? Isn’t that kinda forward? What’re you planning on doing?” Velvet teased, raising an eyebrow with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Nothing, I promise!”

~~~~

When you arrived at your house, you got out of your car, and went over to Velvet’s. You politely opened the door for her, and half-jokingly held out your hand to help her step out. She smirked and rolled her eyes, waving your hand away.

You both went inside, and you showed Velvet around.

“It’s not nearly as big as my house, but it’s nice.” Velvet said, clearly flexing.

“Well I don’t really feel the need for a big house. It’s just me who lives here, after all.” You said. Internally, you were freaking out. Not only were you on a date with Velvet, but it was at your own place! You avoided eye contact to hide your bashfulness.

“Huh, I guess that makes sense.” Velvet noticed your shy demeanor, and didn’t like it. She tried getting you more involved with the conversation.

“So… all by yourself, huh? Must get pretty boring.”

“Heh, yeah, it does.” You said. Velvet was pleased with herself when you finally looked at her, and your shoulders became less tense.

Your walking suddenly slowed and came to a stop. Velvet noticed, and stopped as well.

“To be honest, hanging out with you has really been really fun.”

“Well duh, of course it is. I am really fun to be around.” Velvet said, gesturing her hand to herself, and tilting her head up with pride.

You laughed. “What I mean is, besides being a pop star, I don’t really have anything else going on in my life. So when I’m not on stage, I feel kind of lonely. So when I started hanging out with you, it added something new and fun into my life.” You confessed, avoiding eye contact yet again.

This time though, Velvet also wouldn’t look at you. She wasn’t good with sharing feelings with others, so this made her feel awkward. So she did her best to make a response. “Well, you’re pretty fun too. It’s nice to have someone other than Veneer to talk to.” You looked up at her and smiled, which Velvet copied.

You then let out a big exhale, ready to change the mood of the conversation. “So! Wanna order some food?” You swayed back and forth on your feet.

“Sure.”

~~~~

A little over thirty minutes passed, and the two of you were sitting at the kitchen table, eating your meals. Velvet was the one who picked the food, of course.

“This is pretty good. Do you eat here a lot?” You asked, mouth full of food.

“Yeah. Veneer and I usually get it when we’re working.”

You hummed in response, too focused on eating to say actual words. Velvet watched, finding it amusing how fast you were eating.

“Hold on.” She suddenly stopped you.

You froze just as you were about to take another bite. Velvet leaned close to your face. She then licked her thumb, and swiped it on your cheek. “You had some food on your face.” You hummed again, but got confused when Velvet didn’t move away. She stayed close to your face.

You were staring at each other so long and hard, you could practically see into her soul. You started internally freaking out again, thinking that you were possibly about to kiss. But suddenly, Velvet quickly moved away. She had the biggest smirk on her face. “Wow, I didn’t know that you could get that red.”

“Velvet, what the fuck.” You shouted, realizing that the whole thing was just her teasing you. Velvet started laughing in your expense. You were so upset about her little joke, so you wanted payback. You pounced towards her, making her flinch. But instead of a fist or palm to the face, she got lips.

Velvet froze, and you took the chance to throw her words right back at her.

“Wow, I didn’t know you could get that red.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~baileypie-writes

#trolls 3 band together #trolls 3 #trolls 3 x reader #trolls 3 velvet #trolls velvet #velvet x reader #velvet x fem reader #velvet x female reader #fluff

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zombee · 7 months

Text

I feel like the luckiest Our Flag Means Death fan in the world after the season 2 finale. By a series of incredible circumstances - including a significant metatextual realization that came in at the 11th hour - it was close to perfect for me.

This essay has everything. Completely normal behavior over a television series. Steven Universe references. The David Jenkins School of Whatever is Best for the Bit. Humbling catharsis.

First: this piece does not exist with the central thesis of “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad.” I feel like thousands of words have already been written on this since Thursday, so I’m going to try to not get too in depth on that.

Second, cards on the table, because it’s relevant and I don’t want to waste your time if this is going to sour your ability to hear me out: I’m an Izzy Canyon hater. For MANY reasons, but from way before the concept of the Canyon existed, (some) Izzy fans pinged me in the same way as Snape/Kylo Ren fans did, and before May 2022 was over I went from genuinely enjoying Izzy’s character and place in the narrative to hating him because his fans made it impossible for me to enjoy him anymore.

(SOME! of his fans. Please don’t keep making me say this, although I’m not going to talk about the Canyon directly anymore after this. I know there are a ton of normal Izzy Enjoyers and even Canyonites, I am literally friends with many of them, please take this all in the good faith it’s intended and if you’re not One Of The Bad Ones then you’re fine! I very carefully don’t go anti-Izzy on main, and when I stopped enjoying his character, I stopped writing him into fics. I’m not trying to be a dick, I just want to be honest. Anyway.)

The season 2 finale made me weep over Izzy Goddamn hands.

ALL season long, I was disgruntled. All season long. I really, truly, DEEPLY appreciated what they were doing with his character and arc, I thought it was wildly on brand for the themes of community/queerness in the show, I saw the vision, I liked it!!! But. I wanted a fucking apology, yall. I needed three seconds of “sorry I called you a slur, Ed :/” and that would have been enough. But I had to let it go. It was poisoning my enjoyment of the whole season, which I loved with very little exception (not none!) and I just had to let it go. I wasn’t getting an apology. That didn’t negate what they were doing with his character.

Yall. They withheld the apology on purpose.

THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!

Let’s go back a bit. I was at the episode 6 + 7 screening, and the breakup shook me. Probably a LOT more than if I had watched it alone in bed at 3am on my laptop - five days of no sleep after NYCC, lots of emotions, seeing it on a big screen with a hundred other intense fans, etc etc - but I did see other folks reacting in parallel ways to me when the episodes aired to the regular public, so maybe I would have felt the same way. Regardless, I was mad at Stede and to a lesser extent Ed. I NEEDED AN APOLOGY FOR THAT FISH LINE. I needed it! “Whativah” autocorrects to “WHATIVAH” in my phone. I was going through it.

(When I rewatched the episode when it aired it was not nearly as bad as I remember, lol)

So now the episode 8 screeners go out and the reviews drop and I think I catch one half-glimpse of a “What a heartbreaking ending!” kind of snippet, and some of my friends who are spoiler fiends unintentionally drop little hints about similar ideas (devastating/heartbreaking/split the fandom) type shit.

And I was a fucking WRECK! about it.

I do love this whole show with my whole chest. I do!!! But I’m not rotted because this is an excellent television show, I’m rotted because two old men kiss each other! On the MOUTH!!! in an excellent television show. You get it, right? I’ve written 700,000 words across almost 100 fics and 98% of them are dedicated to those two men falling in love in different universes.

So it just did not even occur to me the “heartbreak/devastation/fandom split” would be about anything but Gentlebeard.

Another piece of this that was fucking me up - David Jenkins and his “satisfactory” ending biz. My brain was reacting like this show was ENDING ending, even if I knew logically! that this is just season 2!!! And I wasn’t ready for that, because what if it wasn’t personally satisfying, and I’m a mess about it? Why was I so worried about not liking it? I’d liked the whole season! Even if they didn’t nail the landing I wasn’t going to stop writing fic or hanging out with my pirate community & friends.

…is what I kept trying to tell myself, but the way anxiety disorders work is funny like that lol. What if I did stop writing fic and hanging out in pirate spaces? That would hurt much more than a show I like disappointing me. And for anyone who’s having that experience with ofmd s2, I’m so very, very sorry. It sucks and that’s where my epiphany came from on Wednesday before the finale.

Because it has happened to me before.

I flit from hyperfocus to hyperfocus, as ya do when you’re spicy, but the last thing to get its hooks in me PROPERLY like pirates was Steven Universe. And I did NOT like the way the regular season ended!!! (I actually really did like most of Future; that’s not what I mean. I mean season 5). I don’t like how they handled the Diamonds, tldr; I think the scope of their villainy got too out of hand, and I was left grieving the thing that had meant enough to me I ran a fan convention for four years based around it.

Side note: imagine if I had channeled the hyperfocus of almost a million words of fanfiction into an American OFMD con instead. We could have made magic :( I did consult with Our Con Means Death though so I am at least a teeny tiny bit of that one!

I did not like the way Steven ended… but I do respect the story they were telling and think they told it well.

I’m still sad about it. Steven is still one of my most beloved, it will always be beautiful and great to me, but that experience did and does sully my memories. There is so, so, so, SO much more good than bad from being in that fandom, and I cherish it. And I hope, if you’re having this experience with OFMD right now, that you’ll find similar comfort.

But, like I said at the top, “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad” has been belabored already by people better at writing about it than me. I just had the incredible privilege to remember my brush with lower case T trauma and having that experience in my last REALLY big deal fandom. That’s why I had been so extra anxious about being disappointed. Because it happened to me before. It helped so much to connect those two.

So the finale happens, and it’s actually about twelve hours of me going from “eh, rushed but fun, whole season was great” to “THIS MAYBE IS THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME, ACTUALLY!”

BECAUSE THIS SHOW MADE ME CRY OVER IZZY FUCKING HANDS!!!!

They literally told me this was the story they were telling this season. “Men can change” “The end of piracy” “Ed leaving Blackbeard behind (ish).”

As for me? I didn’t get an apology for the fish. Instead, I got “Sorry I was a dick.” “You weren’t a dick. Life’s a dick.”

Just… fuckity BAM. THREE FUCKING SENTENCES resolving that fight. Saying so much in so little.

In real life, should these two men have an actual conversation about this shit? Sure!!! But that’s not how OFMD tells its stories!

It works in symbolism. It works in vibes. It works in an hour’s worth of content into each half-hour episode, and for how much lamenting I have done about the pacing, I would prefer that 100x to having to stretch it out too much.

I have said since March 24, 2022 that OFMD wields anachronism as a weapon. First and foremost, it’s fucking funny, but in addition to that, it’s stating clearly: “This is a fantasy world. This is not real history. This show is about romance (and so much more than that), and the rest is just VIBES!!!”

Sometimes vibes can be historical accuracy. Sometimes vibes can be true emotional poignancy. Sometimes vibes can be Ed finding his sunken leathers in the sea, changing underwater somehow, and coming out of the ocean like the Birth of Fucking Venus, because water and rebirth and mermaids and shit is all very prominent this season. And ALSO, and this is very important! BECAUSE IT LOOKS FUCKING COOL!

I don’t want to do much real Izzy meta here. It’s been said by others, and better than me. But it was telegraphed and it was symbolic – he was the paragon of Traditional Piracy in season 1, for goodness’ sake, and Traditional Piracy is Toxic Masculinity, and he was a part of Blackbeard and Ed had to leave Blackbeard behind (yknow, ish), and he got this ABSOLUTLEY FUCKING LOVELY! storyline about appreciating what a (queer) community can do, and god fucking shit fucking dammit… most of all, best of all (for me), was Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave at the end. Men can change. And Izzy DID!!! He did it for Ed. For love. For community. I am puzzled by “it’s fucked up to use Izzy to further Ed’s storyline” because… this was Ed’s season, in the way that season 1 was Stede’s. And Ed cannot be removed from piracy as a whole (neither can Stede!) so to have this old, set in his ways, coded-queerphobic character blossom to the point he can give this gift to Ed and to piracy… idk man. I just find it so fucking beautiful.

It is okay not to like what they did. It’s okay!!! It’s okay, and it’s okay to mourn, and while it’s not okay to do [insert vile behavior here], it’s okay to carefully examine what you think is “bad writing” vs “what you would have preferred to happen” and give good-faith, textually-based criticism on that.

But I want to remind you over and over and over again, this show works on vibes. It tells its stories leaving many, many, many gaps. There are many things I would have liked to see, and y’know what? I would have told the Izzy story differently. I would have personally done it differently. But it’s not my show! It’s not my show, and I am humbled and delighted to remember that, and to appreciate Our Flag Means Death for what it is and not what it isn’t.

Other words have been written better than I could about the 18 months between seasons 1 and 2 and what that does to us as rabid fans with expectations of how things will go. Millions and millions and millions of words have been written about OFMD, fictional and non, and that is going to color our expectations and experience. We had built it up SO MUCH in our minds and along the way I think some of us forgot (INCLUDING ME!!!) that it is first and foremost about Vibes.

The vibes of Izzy’s death are about rebirth and forgiveness and leaving traditional piracy behind. And he got to die in Ed’s arms, knowing (HAPPILY!) that he had been wrong, and giving Ed the gift of letting him know he is loved, and being a part of something. We had a funeral but we also had a wedding. The only constant is change. Men, piracy, Blackbeard; it all changes. And Izzy found peace in that.

Before my last point, I want to @ myself on things I felt versus realizing in the end it is (I will say it until I’m blue in the face) about vibes.

· I was convinced they left Buttons’ transformation ambiguous because they wanted to leave room for it not having been real. NO!!! It is real, until they decided it isn’t. Magic in the OFMD universe? Fucking why not!!! IT’S SYMBOLIC!!! IT’S IMPORTANT TO ED’S STORYLINE AND THE CENTRAL THESES OF THE SHOW!

· I was unhappy, and still am a little, about the Polycule Situation, but now that I realize Oluwande is Zheng’s Stede… I am less so. The Zheng : Auntie :: Ed : Izzy vibes, btw? Fuckin immaculate.

· Obviously they touched on Stede/Ed’s “killing people trauma” but I’d reallyyyy like Stede to address it, and even though I think Ed’s is left on a very satisfying note, I’d like him to dip a bit more into it as well. But if they don’t, oh well! It’s not like they ignored it, they just didn’t have a Deep Dive like I Wanted Them To!

· They didn’t deal with Ed throwing Stede’s shit away. They just ignored it! Stede started to collect new trinkets, and I believe that was as much about giving the audience back the old feeling of the Revenge as it was anything important (not to say it wasn’t also important thematically!!!). Just like Ed going back to his leathers is both Extremely Important thematically and about putting Taika back in the leathers because that’s what Blackbeard should be wearing for the epic final scenes for the sake of visually keeping the show consistent. That’s Blackbeard’s uniform.

· Stede’s frilly little outfits my beloved. God I hope they give him back some of his frippery in season 3. I think they will re: cursed suit BUT his journey this season was about something else, so!

· Ed’s stupid little non-profit non-apology, oh my god. It was so funny. And there is a transition from eps 5 to 6 where Ed is back in his leathers and the crew is more comfortable around him. They didn’t have to have him do a Real Apology, it’s implied it was all settled. What was the timeline? A day? DOESN’T MATTER, BABY, VIBES!!!

· Lots more, I’m sure, but now that I’ve tried to let it all go, I’m remembering less of what I wanted and appreciating what I got!

And, last point here, I think it is also very very very important to remember that a lot of people are normal about this show. In fact, WAY more people are normal about this show than aren’t. And that is EXTREMELY! IMPORTANT!!! because otherwise it wouldn’t be profitable and we all know what would happen then. We are the core of it, to be sure. Without word of mouth that stems from our intensity, this show would not be NEARLY as successful as it is. I truly, truly believe that.

But.

Do normies need deeply emotional discussions dissecting the central relationships? No. What normies need is Ed and Stede running dramatically toward each other on the beach and kissing. And I am happy, so fucking happy, to realize that’s what I need too. I’ve got fanworks for the rest.

I love this fucking show and this fucking fandom and its fucking creators so much. Fuck.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2

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