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romancingromanoff · 1 year

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What I Feel For You

Thena xf!reader

It’s 400 AD and the height of the Gupta Empire. Over 5,000 years have passed since you first gazed upon Thena and you haven’t stopped looking at her since.

A/N: This has been on my mind since I rewatched the film November and I’ve always felt that Eternals has been one of the more underrated movies of phase 4. Angelina Jolie is also brilliant as Thena obviously and since she’s bisexual in real life then her character has to be queer too. I don’t make the rules.

Word count: 2655

You supposed that stranger pairs had existed. As you gazed upon Sersi and Ikaris while they partook in their bonding ceremony, you couldn’t help but think about how different the two of them were. While Sersi was pure warmth that seemed to extend to every single person she met, Ikaris remained tactical and slightly removed from everything else that happened with the humans around them. But then you remembered how Sersi had softened him and the days of Babylon where he seemed to grow an entirely new perspective. He began learning the humans’ languages, became more involved in their development and culture, and allowed Sersi to lead him into something he would have otherwise left unfamiliar.

The problem was that you couldn’t change for Thena even though you longed to desperately. For her you would remake yourself from the dirt and clay you stood on, mold a new person with your own tears. Back in Babylon, she said that she didn’t come to Earth to cower behind walls, but that’s exactly what you did. On that day you had watched her fight deviants with cosmic weaponry and both the grace and strength of a thousand winds. You were behind the city walls, of course, for what else would you have been able to do?

Similar to Druig, your special ability was mostly psychological and didn’t serve much purpose on the battlefield. Communicating with animals had allowed you to assist the humans in their domestication but not much else when it came to fighting the deviants. In fact, you spent most of your time in the company of four-legged, scaly, or winged creatures and admiring your Thena from afar.

A few decades ago, the two of you had shared a dance during the humans’ celebration of solstice that Druig and Phastos sneakily planned. You remembered feeling more alive than ever with her arms around that night. A stupid joke that you told her actually made her smile the biggest you had ever seen and suddenly you were about to confess all the feelings that had been kept hidden over the course of thousands of years. But then in an instant, the entire party erupted into a swarm of chaos when a band of horns sounded out the spotting of some lurking deviants.

“Stay here, little one,” she had quickly told you before placing a brief kiss on your forehead and running off as a sword materialized into her hands. But you were certain that she had only been concerned about you as a friend would and quickly convinced yourself that she wasn’t interested.

And there was also Gilgamesh. Admittedly, there was a time earlier on into your mission that you wanted to resent him completely. He was strong, a natural protector, and capable of giving Thena that life of adventure you knew she longed for. The way that the two worked in sync when they fought was almost like an intricate dance you knew only two people with a deep personal connection could choreograph. You couldn’t help but covet what he had but being the giant teddy bear that he was it eventually softened you. Now, you tried to be happy for them both from the sidelines.

After the bonding ceremony you retreated to a nearby herd of elephants that you were growing pretty close with. You were languidly brushing the oldest female and leader of the herd when Ajak stumbled upon you.

“I’m sure these majestic creatures make wonderful company but a little bird told me that you’re avoiding someone in particular,” she approached you and the herd slowly. Ajak was always careful around animals and behaved much more respectfully than others like Kingo. Near Mount Erymanthos he had once tried to ride a giant wild boar on a dare from Sprite which had ended awfully for all parties involved. “Care to talk to old me about it?”

You knew that Ajak wasn’t a threat to the elephants so you silently directed them to let her through as you replied, “Birds are terrible gossips, you can’t trust them all the time.” That one made her chuckle a bit but then she became serious once again.

“Why don’t you talk to Thena? She cares about you, you know? We all do and just want to see you happy.”

“She doesn’t care about me the way that I care about her,” you sigh right before another elephant steals the brush from your hand and holds it up out of your reach with its trunk. “Hey, what the heck?”

“See? Even they know you’re being ridiculous. Why do you assume that she feels that way when you haven’t spoken about it?”

“Ajak, look at me,” you step back so that now all of the elephants tower over you like trees. Besides Sprite, you’re the shortest of the eternals and quite insecure about it. And while you weren’t bad looking by any means, Sersi and Makkari were certainly more beautiful than you were. You had always had an easier time blending into a crowd. “What can I give her that Gilgamesh can’t? She deserves someone like him who won’t hold her back. My life isn’t exciting and full of danger like hers. I would just bore her.”

That’s when Ajak gives you a stern, foreboding look and you know that you’ve upset her. “Careful there, I don’t want to hear you say things like that about yourself. You may not be a fighter like her but neither of you are just one single thing. You bring out a different side of her that no one else can and she has feelings for you too.”

That’s what makes your head shoot up at attention. “She... she told you that?” You can hardly believe what Ajak is telling you but suddenly your heart is bursting with hope.

“Actually, Gilgamesh and I were just discussing it.” That is... surprising. “But Thena has her own insecurities and isn’t certain how to talk to you either.”

“Why... why is that? She’s Thena! She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever known. She isn’t scared of anything.”

Ajak simply shrugs but gives you a suggestive look. “Sometime our judgment becomes clouded when we’re in love. Maybe it’s something you should think about.” With a smile, she gracefully turns on her heels and begins walking away.

The elephant hands you your brush back but by now you’re too distracted to continue brushing them. There’s an idea forming in your head and you need their opinion on something.

-~-

A few days later when everything is set up, you’re going over the plan one last time with Gilgamesh while Thena is out training.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” You’re certain that by now he must be sick of dealing with you but he simply laughs and gives you a nod.

“Relax, she’s going to love it! Just be yourself and she won’t be able to resist you.” You curse yourself for ever holding a grudge against Gilgamesh. He’s been nothing but sweet and supportive this entire time and you hope to someday repay him back. He pulls you into a warm hug before his eyes catch something and he becomes much quieter. “She’s right over there, good luck.”

When you turn to look at Thena, it’s like emerging from freezing cold waters and feeling the warmth of the sun on your face for the first time. Everything about her is mesmerizing and bright and it makes you feel like an entirely new being just discovering the wonders of the world. She looks at you with some understandable curiosity after seeing you and Gilgamesh innocently embrace and begins to walk towards you, her eyes never leaving yours. You’re determined not to break eye contact with her but a smile uncontrollably takes over your entire face until she’s only a few feet in front of you and finally speaks.

“Did I miss something?” She asks with a hint of playfulness in her tone and you quickly shake your head.

“No, you’re actually right on time,” this causes her to raise an eyebrow at you and you plead with yourself to stay strong. “I was hoping that you would join me for a ride, if you wanted to that is.”

Her surprised smile causes tingles to spread throughout your entire body. “I would be honored, sweet one, but what would we be riding?” You’re probably grinning like a child at this point but you just continue to stand there cheekily as the answer reveals itself. Out from the jungle, an elephant slowly saunters its way over towards the two of you and Thena’s eyes light up even more than usual. “She’s ethereal,” you hear her whisper before the elephant gives a reply.

“Her name is Aaloka and she says thank you,” you translate. “She also said she agrees with me.”

“Agrees with you on what?”

Be brave. “That you are very beautiful,” your words surprise her and a blush begins to cover her cheeks. It’s all so much to take in that you start to feel your heart race. The only other times it does that is when you’re fearful, but she’s the only one that makes it beat this way. It’s like it beats for her.

Aaloka kneels and Thena assists you on top first before gracefully leaping up behind you. You start to feel a bit overwhelmed by how high up you are with nothing to hold onto until she wraps your arms around your waist and instantly freeze. No one has ever held you like this before. Eventually, you allow yourself to relax your body and sink softly back into hers. It’s an unfamiliar feeling, but a welcome one.

“Are we just going to sit here or do you plan on taking me somewhere?” She asks playfully and it shakes you from your spell.

“Um, yes! Let’s go!”

Aaloka already knows which path to follow and it doesn’t take as long as you had expected for you to arrive at the spring. In the close distance is a waterfall that reflects the vibrant pinks, yellows, and oranges of the sky all around you. Thena lets go of you, which leaves you feeling somewhat empty, and is the first to dismount before you awkwardly try to slide your way down. At the very last second, the elephant moves one of her feet so that you trip forward and lose your balance. Thena immediately catches you in her arms with a soft laugh and brushes away some of your hair that’s been slightly tussled.

“Hey, that wasn’t very nice!” You scold the elephant which has no sense of guilt whatsoever. “She did that in purpose you know.” Thena chuckles once again with a look of amusement in her eyes.

“I think she knows that I like keeping you in my arms, sweet one,” Thena huskily breaths into your ear and it causes a gasp to escape from your mouth. Looking up into her giant hypnotizing orbs stops time itself. How did you become so lucky to be here with her? Doubt starts to settle in and you unconsciously cling to her harder.

“I just don’t know what I’ve done to deserve your affections. I’m not strong like you or fast like Makkari. Everyone on the team has a myth or a legend named after them except for me. Thena, they named a goddess and a city after you! But me? I’m nothing extraordinary.” The confession brings a frown on her face that instantly confuses you. What did you say that upset her?

“Do you really not see how incredible you are? You’re the most amazing person I know.” Thena looks at you with such admiration that it’s almost impossible for you not to believe her words. “If they name something else after Kingo I think his ego might cause his head to explode. But you, my darling, are too quick to discredit yourself for all the good you have helped put into this world. Things you have done from the pureness of your own heart even if you were scared, unsure of how to show the humans and animals how they must work together. Respect each other.”

“It’s my job,” you brush it off with a shrug, unsure of what she’s getting at. Nothing that you’ve done could ever compare to when she saved an entire city full of people. “You deserve someone just as strong as you are. A fighter that can protect you.”

“You think I can’t protect myself?” She raises an eyebrow at you and you realize how stupid you must have sounded.

“No, that’s not what I meant! Of course you’re… I meant to say that I wouldn’t want to… because I’m not-“

All the air dissipates from your lungs when her hand comes to rest at your cheek. Softly laughing, she drops the fake act of frustration in order to soothe you.

“Shhh, I was only joking, my dear. For the record, I’m not interested in a partner that can spar with me or deals with all their problems like Ikaris by blasting through everything. I only want you. You’ve taught me that there’s so much more to life than fighting. That there can be different ways of looking at the world.”

It’s at that same moment that the universe seems to send you a message in the form of thousands of green lights which begin to float up towards the sky. The synchronous dancing of the fireflies wasn’t something you had planned and you find it difficult to resist the smile that grows on your face. Standing together in the glowing green light, it feels nothing short of a truly magical moment.

“Y/N,” Thena softly whispers and you are brought back to the face of the most beautiful woman in the world looking at you with so much warmth. “I would never lie to you. So please believe me when I say I have never loved anyone else the way I love you.”

You’re sure your own heart is glowing within your chest brighter than all the fireflies in the world.

“You… You love me?” All of a sudden it feels as if you might float away. As long as she goes with you you’d be fine.

“Yes, darling. I love you and I’d be honored to be yours.”

“I love you too!” You throw your arms around her neck while Thena giggles, instinctively pulling your bodies closer together.

“May I kiss you, little one?” She breaths in your ear, sending shivers of anticipation across every inch of your skin.

“Please do,” you answer with a smile before your lips finally meet.

Your kiss is exactly like all the wonderful things you love about Thena. She’s gentle yet passionate, pouring all of her desire for you into the kiss while still being incredibly soft and responsive. In all your years of living you’ve never kissed anyone before. You’ve secretly observed human couples of all types share countless kisses throughout history. You feel like you’ve been forced to sit through even more between Sersi and Ikaris in the past century alone. Every time you’ve wondered what It must be like to experience something so magical. With Thena, you’re certain you finally understand what all of the fuss was about. Nothing else has ever felt so right.

The two of you eventually separate when you’re both startled by the sound of Aaloka triumphantly cheering. Thena pulls you closer to her as you laugh, smiling directly into the crook of her neck.

“What did she say?” Thena asks.

“Something along the lines of ‘It was about time already!’”

“Well I have been waiting to kiss you for only a few thousand years!”

Feeling bold, you reach up to take Thena’s face into your hands. “Maybe we should make up for the lost time?”

“Definitely,” she agrees before swooping down to bring your lips together once again.

#thena x reader #reader insert #eternals #thena #thena eternals #ajak #ajak eternals #sersi #sersi eternals #ikaris #ikaris eternals #marvel #marvel imagines #MCU #mcu phase four #eternals imagines

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moregraceful · 2 months

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@patrichornkissed THANK you for this WONDERFUL THOUGHT JOURNEY!!! under a cut

who came out first -- matty came out to brady first but brady came out to their parents + young sister first. matty came out to their extended family first but brady came out to all their shared friends first. it absolutely was the most headass competition after that initial fear when brady came out to matty, a couple months after matty came out to her.

not to eldest-daughter code matty but sometimes u set an example for your younger siblings and the things that brady had been wrestling with that felt too big and too much suddenly felt accessible and manageable. once she reconciled that with herself, she came out to matty, and the two of them engaged in the world's stupidest game of one-up-womanship. this caused so many problems in their personal life and they loved every minute of the chaos.

did quinn and brady get married immediately -- SORT OF. they get married when quinn graduates college. childhood sweethearts, broke up in college when quinn went to umich and brady went to a state school. and yk how it goes with teenagers going to college they're like, this CANNOT work bc now we are ADULTS in COLLEGE, we need to SEE OTHER PEOPLE because young love ISN'T REAL, and then brady makes it through one year of college and goes this SUCKS!!! academically and emotionally, drops out after one year. spends a year bouncing around trying to make her life work without quinn and having an low-stakes but meaningless fling with timmy from her beer league team. and her life DOES NOT MAKE SENSE without quinn. so in quinn's junior year she comes back to quinn and is like hello. you are the love of my life. i want to be with you forever. and quinn has been in a strange little polycule with various swedes and americans and he's like ...yeah. no. i miss you too. this is great but it's not right.

and then they're together for the rest of their lives, hanging out and doing whatever. getting married literally like two months after quinn graduates. they spent about five minutes trying to plan a wedding and get bored and annoyed and then handed it off to brady's mom, who has a blast bc she has realized that matty is at least twenty to thirty years off of being functional enough to get married and brady is going to be way less fussy.

important wedding notes because i am an incurable romantic when it comes to parties:

takes place at some random lake in michigan, no one really cares about the ceremony except parents and grandparents, the reception is in a big banquet hall but the afterparty is in a barn, matty and timmy hook up in a random shed, it's magical, everyone has a GREAT time, including matty, up until she hooks up with timmy

elias and brock and thatcher are there, deeply involved in day of wedding prep and making sure everything goes according to plan and they're so helpful and so competent, and no cishet family member realizes they're quinn's ex-polycule for a solid six hours, like until WELL into reception, at which point it's too late for anyone to say anything

the tkachuk sisters are brady's bridesmaids, the hughes bros are quinn's best men. obvi. the hughes bros are the ones crying during brady's deeply stupid vows though

quinn wears a suit and he looks so handsome. brady wears a dress but the hemline is literally mid-thigh and it has no sleeves. she is a bombshell ofc

brady and quinn's first dance is to "suga suga" by baby bash. the closing song in the afterparty (post-reception) is "moment's silence (common tongue)" by hozier which brady picked and quinn didn't look at the lyrics beforehand. and is thankfully too drunk to notice, but luke and taryn do and they're both so stressed out by their older siblings having oral sex that they leave immediately with matty beniers, and josh norris to go sober up in a denny's at like 2am lol.

sorry i know you are anti-marriage, but i love to think about queer weddings bc the only lesbian wedding i've been to was so clean and heterosexual that it makes me actively sad to think about lmao. brady and quinn's wedding is like...bro queer

does matty ever get her shit together -- like. a dozen years in the future after her final trainwreck relationship with leon. it takes a lot of therapy bc while she came out first to brady, she never really felt safe or comfortable as herself around anyone BUT brady. and obvi brady cannot be there every moment of her life. and part of the reason every relationship she's in ends up being kind of a wreck because she hates herself so much but covers it up with so much bravado and big energy and zero honesty or emotional intimacy. like u cannot be inauthentic in a relationship and expect it to work out yk?? but then she meets sasha (i changed my mind, they use any pronouns) who is like ok. i am willing to try this. i am very attracted to you and i could fall in love with you easily. but you NEED to figure your shit out if you want this to work in the long term.

and no one has ever made that kind commitment to matty, so she tries her hardest to reconcile the parts of herself that are ugly and cruel to herself, and turn it into love. and it takes like. over a decade. because she's also a corporate lawyer. but she finally gets there in the end 😭

sasha is quite happy to live in sin for several years lol he grows heirloom vegetables and works on a farm doing most of their farmstand and farmer's market stuff bc they are gentle and kind, but she's also like yeah now that i'm dating someone in corporate law, i do not have to worry that much. so he waits for matty to get right with herself, and she raises some heirloom chickens that matty does his therapy homework with. a fun (???) digression

thank you for asking!!!!! i love them 😭😭😭

#butch transfem brady #to your other point abt when all your children are queer. i think often abt how i came out as queer before my literal gay parents did #and i think that colored a lot of the way i see the world and interact with queerness and queer identity #among other things lol like never being able to trust myself to read people as queer or straight accurately. my gaydar is nonexistent #but like sometimes all your kids are queer! don't worry about it! and the hughes parents and tkachuk parents discussed it together #landed on: how our dumbass beautiful children identify is simply none of our business and we don't understand and that's ok #and now just watch them go through trainwreck relationships or get on prep or get married to their childhood sweetheart and they're like #👍 are ya winning kids?#unfortunate birdcage fanfictions #rpf for ts

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splathousefiction · 1 month

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I have been in the creative field since I was 18. While I am most popularly known for my work here at Splathouse, "Jack The Warlock" isn't the only face I've worn in the 16 years I've been making things in a professional space.

In no particular order, a (in)complete list of projects I either created myself or have been a part of is below the jump. Details at this time will be kept vague. You are welcome to make your guesses and DM/Comment down below. If you get it right, I'll tell you.

An actual hard-copy account with my complete involvement along with website addresses, email accounts and passwords is currently within my safe in my own hand writing. It's to be scanned and made public upon my death, serving as (if nothing else) a testament to "try everything".

I started an absurdist magician sect. I was originally inspired by chaos magic theory, but sought to refine their ideals. As such, it takes the element of the concept of belief itself as a malleable thing that can shape the world without ever being spoken or made physical via ritual work. "If you think it, it can happen"-be that in the ego or the id. The sect is still operating internationally today and has over 100 members. We're small, but we're there. None of the members have ever met me or have any idea who I am.

I've published two short-horror collections as a female author in her forties. They were released for free and are pretty openly available almost everywhere you can pirate books. The books are incredibly popular with queers, with booktok most notably covering them pretty hotly for a month. None of my readers have absolutely any idea I am behind both collections and still send emails (without hope of ever getting a response) today. Many assume I'm dead.

I released an experimental dark fantasy hip-hop EP that was inspired by this album by Earl Sweatshirt and MF DOOM. It's a five track album that totals in at 21 minutes. Much like the horror anthology collection above, each track can be enjoyed by itself, but when played in sequential order tells a Berserk-like story. The album took six months of my life and features encoded secret messages in the audio, with the "lore" being that it's a form of sigil magic. To date, it is the most popular audio project I have ever recorded and vastly surpasses anything I have ever made for Splathouse. Absolutely no one knows that the vocals, the producer and the song writer are one guy, nor do they know it's me. They've been waiting for a follow up EP for years. I will never release another one.

I have been a writer and creative director for several ARGs. One of which was a darling of the early days of Youtube Explainer videos. The project "concluded" because I was intensely disgusted by the growing cottage industry of "curators" destroying the mystery of such things. As they still do this and have careers directly profiting off the creative works of others, I see no need to join such a project ever again. Absolutely no one involved in the projects had any idea who I am, and the projects I started myself have never once been connected back to me.

I've co-wrote several webcomics. One or two of which gained middling popularity. No one working on these projects has absolutely any idea as to who I am or my larger sphere of work. I left the field because of audience treatment of webcomic creators.

I've had original artwork I created featured in multiple gallery showings that highlighted "abstract" and "outsider" art, back when I still enjoyed doing artwork. Anything you find by me on deviant art in the "Splathouse" era was me attempting to wrap my head around digital art; my neuro divergency prefers physical mediums. Every single one of these submissions was under a different name chosen at random.

I've acted in precisely two indy movies under a popular name used by directors who don't want their names attached to projects. Film buffs know the one. I was the lead character in one and the side character in another. The films are connected, but aren't sequels, a series, nor is there a prequel involved. The films were highly experimental and shot in the "guerilla"/"Gonzo" tradition. They went through the indy circuit and won [insert number of awards here]. I wasn't compensated nor were the films profitable. We didn't care and I haven't spoken with anyone from the cast since, who simply asked for a name and nothing more. Some of them are still in the industry. One of them is a reasonably successful B-movie director now.

I've created several text adventure games. Most people are familiar with the Splathouse ones, which released in the early 2010s. What they aren't familiar with are the ones I released on itchio under an different name with a disposable email address. The games were reasonably popular with that niche sector of the gaming community, and still get regularly recommended.

There's more I could add to this, but I feel I'm done for now. It's late, I've work in the morning.

If you've made it this far in the list and you're still curious-no, you aren't going to get me to tell you any details about any of these projects. Even my best friends couldn't get that out of me. If you're curious as to why I did literally any of this, the reason is two fold:

Because I could.

why not?

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mybookhaven · 1 year

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A Day of Fallen Night - Samantha Shannon

High Fantasy - Queer Rep - WOMEN

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5)

I had extremely high expectations for this book, so much that i thought i am going to ruin the experience purely because of all the pent up excitement. Boyyyy was i taken by surprise. This is going to me my favorite read of 2023, yes i know it's still early to decide, no this will not be changed regardless of what i end up reading.

Frankly i do not even know where to start. Everything about this book was magnificent, from the complicated world building, the fascinating character arches, to the intricate dissection of the plot that kept me entranced throughout. I got to fall back into the world of "The Roots of Chaos" so easily that i ache for having to leave it behind again.

The story was narrated by 4 characters: Tunuva Melim of the south, Noziken pa Dumai of the east, Glorian Berethnet of the West, and Wulfert Glenn alternating between west and north. To say that it was easy to relate to and fall in love with each of the characters would be an understatement. Each had their own tone, Tunuva being in her 50s with half her life already spent fine tuning her image of herself, Dumai in her late 20s her life about to be turned upside down, and Wulf and Glorian being close to their mid/late teens battling the world to carve a place to fit themselves into (we do not know the actual age of Wulf for reasons i will keep unknown here because OH BOYYYYY was that one of my favorite plot lines in the book).

The sorrow of ages arrives, and no one is prepared to deal with the wrath of earth unleashed. As i've read "The Priory of the Orange Tree" before, i knew the general direction of the events to take place, and i want to stress the genius of Ms. Shannon in giving us a story that kept me on the edge of my seat regardless of that fact.

The strength and warmth of Tunuva, the love between her and Esbar, an old love nurtured for years and set in admiration, comfort, and lasting desire. The fear, resolve, and retaliation of Queen Glorian who sees the Berethnet legacy for what it actually is. The perseverance of Wulf, a man lost to the world and to himself. The trusting nature of Dumai, a woman raised for the peace of temples swept into the war of politics. I could go on and on about almost every character mentioned in this book, major or minor. The amount of attention given to the creation of this world is beyond my greatest imagination and i cannot thank Samantha Shannon enough for sharing it with us.

I don't want to talk about specific details of this books because i'm trying to stay spoiler free, but it needs to be said that there are moments in this book where i've lost my breath with the unfolding of events leaving me full and empty within a couple of sentences.

I cannot recommend this book, or this series enough. Samantha Shannon is officially my favorite writer and i doubt anything will change that in the foreseeable future.

#i am in so much pain after reading this amazing book #i have never fallen in love with characters so intensely before #honorable mention to Kuposa pa Nikeya (my love)#with that i crumble #seriously though the best book i've ever read #a day of fallen night #the roots of chaos #roots of chaos #samantha shannon #the priory of the orange tree #tunuva melim #noziken pa dumai #dumai #glorian berethnet #wulfert glenn #nikeya deserved better (i will cry myself to sleep)

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cashthecomposer · 1 year

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I've written a musical, and I could use your support!

The last year of my life has been crazy, and amidst the chaos and conference calls with the grim reaper, I have written a musical. It's about the summer of 1816 at the Villa Diodati, where Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein, accompanied by several of her contemporaries, including the notorious Lord Byron.

I'm trying to do something a little different with my musical writing career, and make the process of bringing this thing to stage- from the composition to the performance- transparent to the public. Theatre is a weird mix of visual art, writing stories, and of course, music; as such, it's a complex beast that I'd love to explore with you! It's normally very insular, with things being very secretive, but I want to change that. I want to show you, uh... behind the curtain... literally.

So! Please consider joining my Patreon (this link right here) so that you can help support a creator who's trying to do things a little differently (a neurodivergent, disabled, jewish, queer, female creator, I might add lol- I check a lot of boxes). There's already quite a bit posted, and I'm adding more at every step of the production!

When I've reached $100 per month of support, I'll hold a one time livestream for all of my patrons, where I'll share with you all my favorite tracks from the show, and have a little Q&A about the show, my career, and frankly any other burning questions you all might have.

Thanks for reading, and have a lovely day!

Cash, the composer

PS- if you aren't sure, or can't afford it, that's ok! You can do a week long free trial, and even if you don't continue after, reblogging this post does a lot to spread the word. :)

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loserchildhotpants · 1 year

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4, 21 and 27 for Three Princes from the Ask Game ☆

skdfhjksjdhf hello friend!

4] What detail in Three Princes are you really proud of?

There are a lot of little details in Three Princes I'm really proud of! Mostly because they were 'mistakes' that I caught in time and then worked into the story.

So, because of the time period, I'd have to stop and re-evaluate basically every line I wrote, like 'does this make sense?? did [x] exist in 1912??' and most of the time, the answer was 'no' lol such as Dean's wrist watch - I wrote him as just wearing a wrist watch for a while bc I wanted to give him something that sort of personified his limited time to pursue his freedom, something on him that would be a constant reminder (and meaningful when it's on him versus when it's off and left in his room) - it was just gonna be a little easter egg (of which there are many in that fic), and then as I was writing, I was like '... wait did wrist watches exist? People only use pocket watches in the movie, I think' and i checked, and lo and behold, no, wrist watches for men did not exist at the time. Men used pocket watches, but wrist watches were a hot, new commodity for upper class ladies by 1912.

So, Dean likely wouldn't have one for himself, but it wasn't impossible that his mother wouldn't have had one in that universe based on the background I gave her, so i was like 'omg wait it can be a symbol for the limited time he has to let Cas rescue him, to rescue himself, but ALSO it can be a wink wink nudge nudge at him being queer, and the limited time he has to accept himself!'

There's lots of other little things; when picking character names, I chose Temesras for Amara by just researching what variations of the word 'darkness,' existed in proto-english, as a small easter egg to 'she's ancient, she's Thee Darkness,' and then there's Drozdov, which means 'blackbird' - an allusion to Cas' black wings/being a many feathered thing, but also of being something of a wounded outcast.

I had the Moon calendar for 1912 pulled up, there are details in that fic that no one will ever notice or care abt but *i* know skldhjf lmao

21] If you wrote a "missing scene" in Three Princes, what would it be?

The first thing that comes to mind is Sam and Rowena at the end (I'm gonna speak vaguely so as not to spoil it for anyone that hasn't read it yet) - the last scene w them is meant to spark doubt, in a way, bc you don't hear from either of them again, but that was a decision I'd made later on - there WAS a scene after Rowena leads Sam away, but I decided to cut it bc when it's Dean's POV, i wanted the reader to also feel sort of stressed out abt what Sam's fate ultimately had been. But the first 'missing scene' that comes to mind is that - in the chaos, out on the water, Sam and Rowena.

27] How long did it take to write Three Princes? Describe the process.

So, this was a long process! I first made the doc the day after my birthday last year, so October 24th 2022. I didn't start writing in it much until late November, though.

Now, @atomicteaparty really badly wanted a Titanic Destiel AU that was well-researched, and, bless her <3, she likes my writing and wanted it to be of that quality/voice. So, the process first started w me figuring out how much Real Life Event can I tastefully include without it feeling like... idk, like I was making light of a horrible tragedy, then how much of the movie's formula am I going to use, then how am I going to transmute the spn characters into OUR universe, into 1912, and make them recognizably themselves while still having completely different backstories.

I decided that no matter what I did w the real life event aspects, I wouldn't name real people. I don't begrudge folks that do that, i know it happened over a century ago, but something abt it for me personally felt icky, so i decided that ALL the characters i used had to be from spn or made up. Then I watched the movie. I watched the movie several times lmao and I saw that, the existing Titanic AUs for destiel always allot Cas as the Rose-insert, but I was like '... but Cas is the one that initially rescues DEAN! Dean should be the one trapped!' - I decided the suicide rescue was going to stay, and Dean would be my Rose-insert, but he'd still need to be *Dean.* And a young!Dean, too, this is pre-Stanford era Dean. This is early 20's Dean. So, not so hardened, but very disenchanted, loyal to his father - I built him a backstory that would make his personality make sense, and I kept key elements of his persona; he loves cars and car maintenance, he loves cowboys, he is v pretty and is aware of that, etc etc.

Tbh the hardest part of writing any of the characters was Dean. Dean, canonically, was raised by motel televisions - he's all pop-culture and quips. I had to allude to the 1912 equivalent of that, which is why I have him sing a song to himself (if you look up the song he sings when he has his first anxiety attack, you'll find that it was sort of the 1912 equivalent of being in the top 40 lol) and he calls Sam 'kid,' and you might notice that his formal language relaxes around Benny and Cas and Meg, like, once he's in the lower decks and he's allowed to be more himself, he uses lots of turns of phrases and is a little more crass or flirtatious, bc that's truer to who he actually is - so, he needed to use slang, but he also was not a complete street kid either, he's somewhere in between, and bc he really got to KNOW Mary before she died (bc in Three Princes, she dies when he's ~14), he's not AS hardened a soldier. He doesn't question John (at first), he's miserable like he is, and Mary's death still had to be the weight-bearing pillar that brings the whole castle down.

Making Dean still *sound* like Dean would sound in that time period was REALLY difficult. Lots of dialogue re-writes for that. Other than that, building Cas' backstory and making it make historical sense was the next biggest challenge. I needed him to be a soldier, but the only war that he would've possibly fought in was the Russian revolution, so Dean wasn't gonna be his first rebellion, which begged the question, what would Dean BE to him, then.

In the text of Titanic, the movie, Rose represents the upperclass, really, but the best of them - the well-intentioned, kind, unassuming/perhaps slightly ignorant be well-meaning upperclass, which Jack is the equal and opposite to; he represents all of the lower class, the less fortunate, the daring and selfish (by which i mean, he put pleasure before duty), the adventurous and free - which is why he's doomed to die.

I had to decide what Cas and Dean were going to personify here, so that the themes were clear, and then I needed to decide how Sam and Rowena would mirror that, so you could glean some foreshadowing abt what was to become of either couple by interactions had by both.

Ultimately, I decided that Dean personified Faith-In-People, while Cas personified Faith-In-The-Divine, and their narrative purposes would be to rekindle the missing faith in one another; Cas would restore Dean's faith in a higher power (which is why, ultimately, Dean is able to pray again), and Dean would restore Cas' faith in people.

Sam is Faith-In-Self, he's sure of what he wants, who he is, what he's capable of, that he understands everything he's seeing, and he's right! He's observant and self-assured, but he plays it safe; Rowena is his equal and opposite. She lacks faith in herself, she is NOT self-assured when they meet, but she plays the socialite game more dangerously. By the end, Rowena is self-assured, and Sam is humbled, but willing to play more dangerously.

Then ofc the dreaded time of picking a title skldjfhskf lmao strangely enough, this was one of the last Hard Decisions i needed to make; i had a few titles picked out, but i kept coming back to the conversation Cas carries at The Fancy Dinner, where he talks about the etymology of serendipity, which, ofc is a running theme throughout the fic. I decided on Three Princes bc, as Cas explains, in the original story, three princes keep finding things they weren't originally in search of - this is also why the POV switches are limited to Cas, Dean, and Sam (they're our three princes). Cas, Dean, and Sam operate as our unassuming princes that continue to find things they weren't originally in quest of.

Sam has simple, short-term goals; he wants to pet the fancy dogs, he wants to go on the tours, see the libraries - have an adventure. Dean is there to follow orders and do what he must as deemed by John. Cas has long-term goals to get to America, escape old demons, shake off his old life somehow and become someone new by virtue of being in a new place.

Sam instead finds a long-term goal; Rowena. He was just hanging out, having a good time, and then he sees a goddess walk in and is like 'oohhh the odds are NOT in my favor but i GOTTA.' Dean finds cause to deny orders and pursue his own happiness which was NOT in the script handed to him, and Cas experiences attraction and love for the first time completely unexpectedly, which ofc inherently changes him (something he acknowledges he's scared of, during the Friday Morning Breakfast he follows Dean to, when he first realizes he's Changing).

In the midst of writing Three Princes, my friend got really sick, so i flew out of state to help take care of her, and then ANOTHER friend had a crisis and i drove over multiple other states to fetch HER and get her to my other friend's place and keep everyone under the same roof where i could account for them lol launching two rescues was not a simple task, and it ate up 3 weeks i was SUPPOSED to be writing slkjdfhsjkdfh which is why the fic was MOSTLY completed by April 10th, when i started posting, but i couldn't finish editing and polishing before the 14th ; _ ; i lost nearly a month i had allotted for that sdkfjskdjh

And ofc the entire fic was beta'd by @pockypuck (Megh) who helped me keep everything tonally consistent, and historically accurate (to a degree, ofc, it's fic skdjhfkdsjf it's accurate enough that you'd have to be a REAL fuckin stickler to take issue w something in there).

I drafted the fic w Megh in bullet points, then inserted that into my Titanic AU Google Doc, used Outline Mode to keep track of everything, and just ran w it. So. This is an insanely long answer and tbh there's still even more that went into it skdfhskldhfd lmao it was a long process and it's a fic im ultimately really, really proud of so thank you so much for asking me abt it ; __ ; <3 it means so much to me!

asks for fic writers

#izupie #melanie answers stuff #destiel #deancas #samwena #Three Princes #melanie writes #my stuff #u talking to me abt this fic has genuinely been such a rewarding highlight of this journey im not even kidding #i was SO quiet abt the process and writing it for SO long and im still getting comments from folks that refuse to read the epilogue #or refuse to open the fic altogether bc of the no warnings which i Get but also ; n ;#i worked so hard!!!!#anyway #thank u for asking me stuff <3 #long post

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sanjuwrites · 8 months

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hello on this day of nice asks i would like to ask about the love of my life aishwarya. how did you come up with her, misc trivia (what’s her favorite ice cream flavor, what dish is her absolute weakness, what kinds of books does she love) things you’re going to include in the series and things you’re not i want to know everything pls

oh my god i could go on for ages about her, i love aishu to pieces. i have an entire "aishu begins" style fic in the works, but i am happy to feed you until i finish that one (which wont be for a while lmao)

okay aishwarya rajesh is a heavy combination of people i know in my life, and some of my own personality traits thrown in there. there's a lot to be said about the lack of queer poc/brown women in hollywood, and that was definitely a driving factor of in the creation of her character. she was originally someone i would just write these little scenarios about in the margins of my notebook, going as far back as my freshman year of high school with a couple of other OCs.

ironically, i've always had the same face claim and profession for aish - anupama parameswaran (who is absolutely stunning btw) and paramedic. She evolved as I did, fleshing out into a fully fleshed character over the years.

when i restarted lone star and started engaging in the fandom, i realized that this was a safe space for this character i had shaped into someone i loved so dearly.

anyway enough about how i created her <3

favorite ice cream flavor: has to be haagen-dazs coffee-chip or talenti's chocolate peanut butter cup gelato. she's literally obsessed with chocolate and peanut butter, it's a sureshot way of getting you to forgive her.

favorite dish: aloo paratha, oh my god it's pani puri. whenever tk and carlos did something really stupid, they'd go begging Aparna to help them make aloo paratha so she'd forgive them. once carlos started picking up cooking, carlos started making it himself, picking up so many other recipes. it's a bonding thing for the trio now, where they all go to one of the three houses and make one of aparna's recipes. they absolutely carry this into their adult life, and it's one of aishwarya's favorite traditions that was carried from their childhood.

books she loves: crime thrillers. she's obsessed with them, she thinks there's so goddamn interesting, and she will make carlos read them with her and send him her insane theories (she's right almost 95% percent of the time and it drives carlos nuts) (he doesn't know she reads ahead and actually knows how it ends, and she just likes his reaction) (tk does know this and watches the chaos unfold with his cider every. single. time.)

okay so i've alluded to an aish/iris relationship before, but never really discussed anything, buuuut aish's got an ex-boyfriend, rahul. thye broke up on good terms because rahul realized aish was in love with iris but wasn't ready to confront it yet. they stayed friends and i have not decided yet, but i think they hooked up on and off throughout college, after which iris and aish reconnect again romantically (they do repair their friendship, but they both wanted more)

i'm cutting myself off, because i could tak about her for hours and still have more to share. she's so special to me.

send me more asks about her, please. i love talking about her.

#asked and answered #neha 🩷#sanjuwrites

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richincolor · 2 years

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It's getting very cold in my part of the world, so I thought it would be fun to compile a list of books I want to read this winter with a hot beverage and selection of snacks. What's on your TBR list?

Strike the Zither (Kingdom of Three #1) by Joan He, illustrations by Kuri Huang Roaring Brook Press

The year is 414 of the Xin Dynasty, and chaos abounds. A puppet empress is on the throne. The realm has fractured into three factions and three warlordesses hoping to claim the continent for themselves.

But Zephyr knows it’s no contest.

Orphaned at a young age, Zephyr took control of her fate by becoming the best strategist of the land and serving under Xin Ren, a warlordess whose loyalty to the empress is double-edged—while Ren’s honor draws Zephyr to her cause, it also jeopardizes their survival in a war where one must betray or be betrayed. When Zephyr is forced to infiltrate an enemy camp to keep Ren’s followers from being slaughtered, she encounters the enigmatic Crow, an opposing strategist who is finally her match. But there are more enemies than one—and not all of them are human. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

We Deserve Monuments by Jas Hammonds Roaring Brook Press

What’s more important? Knowing the truth or keeping the peace?

Seventeen-year-old Avery Anderson is convinced her senior year is ruined when she's uprooted from her life in DC and forced into the hostile home of her terminally ill grandmother, Mama Letty. The tension between Avery’s mom and Mama Letty makes for a frosty arrival and unearths past drama they refuse to talk about. Every time Avery tries to look deeper, she’s turned away, leaving her desperate to learn the secrets that split her family in two.

While tempers flare in her avoidant family, Avery finds friendship in unexpected places: in Simone Cole, her captivating next-door neighbor, and Jade Oliver, daughter of the town’s most prominent family—whose mother’s murder remains unsolved.

As the three girls grow closer—Avery and Simone’s friendship blossoming into romance—the sharp-edged opinions of their small southern town begin to hint at something insidious underneath. The racist history of Bardell, Georgia is rooted in Avery’s family in ways she can’t even imagine. With Mama Letty's health dwindling every day, Avery must decide if digging for the truth is worth toppling the delicate relationships she's built in Bardell—or if some things are better left buried.

Friday I'm in Love by Camryn Garrett Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers

Mahalia Harris wants.

She wants a big Sweet Sixteen like her best friend Naomi. She wants the super cute new girl Siobhan to like her back. She wants a break from worrying--about money, snide remarks from white classmates, pitying looks from church ladies . . . all of it.

Then inspiration strikes: It's too late for a Sweet Sixteen, but what if she had a Coming Out Party? A singing, dancing, rainbow-cake-eating celebration of queerness on her own terms.

The idea lights a fire in her, and soon Mahalia is scrimping and saving, taking on extra hours at her afterschool job, trying on dresses, and awkwardly flirting with Siobhan, all in preparation for the Coming Out of her dreams. But it's not long before she's buried in a mountain of bills, unfinished schoolwork, and enough drama to make her English Lit teacher blush. With all the responsibility on her shoulders, will Mahalia's party be over before it's even begun?

A novel about finding yourself, falling in love, and celebrating what makes you you.

#strike the zither #we deserve monuments #friday i'm in love #joan he #jas hammonds #camryn garrett

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quote-tournament · 11 months

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because be born is currently sweeping (surprisingly) heres some other quotes from chonnys charming chaos compendium bc this album goes so hard

“But when Harmonia shines, Atlas beholds her / So bathed in serenity; beauty, in synchronicity / Blissfully entwined.” - Dream

“Stuck inbetween, in indemnity, the indomitable weather / Of opposites with no regard for time; no reason behind their rhyme” - Mucka Blucka

“And so Juno got what he deserved / Imprisonment was all that he earned / So let’s stop on in and see if he learned a goddamn thing” - Ruler of Everything

“Looking through glass eyes / Giving a few tries / Nothing goes right in its time” - Good Day

“What’s the point in trying if this end result of dying / Sits persistently encloaked in dimness / Life can’t thrive controlled by digits” - The Heart Acoustic

“My logic is the absolute / His pity parties simply harm these chances at an apt repute / Esteemed regard in place of mockery” - The Mind Electric

“See how they fight all day / The other half won’t hear what’s had to say / It’s just the game they play here in this labyrinth maze” - The Soul Eclectic

“And here he is: the piece of shit / Sitting, seething high atop his stolen throne / Glass is the house of the hypocrite / And yet you still continue arming stones” - The Bidding

“Humility’s a virtue; pride a sin / Or so it has been said / But every time I’ve hurt you, or at least tried to / You’ve laughed and smiled instead” - Light

“To anyone who knows me, I’m sure i sound absurd / But I’m an egoistic queer under any definition of the word” - Two wuv

“You want something? / You know more about me than my family / All these sick, unsightly maladies / Staving off the due insanity / Haptic feedback, half-baked blasphemies / Twenty-seven songs are yours / My blood, my sweat, my open doors” - Taken for a Ride

Mmh Good Food 👌

Honourable mentions!

#honorable mentions #not a poll

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greyeyedmonster-18 · 2 years

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Dr. Grey hear me out!! Callie and Arizona and Sirius and Remus: okay so it might not go with the storyline if you have meredith as lily and derek as James, or the other way round, but like I see so many similarities in the characters themselves and their relationship. Callie and Sirius are both hardcore but softies lm the inside, not on very good terms with their families, loyal, and badass. Remus and Arizona are kind and patient, but also strong and resilient, and sometimes jealous and mean.

greys anatomy anon after my own heart!!!! thank you for taking the time to yeet this into my box, it made my day this morning! and i hope you don't mind if i respond to this ask with the longest answer ever because I've never heard of a brevity a day in my life.

-first, THANK YOU FOR RE-READING FAULT LINES???? you are brave.

-second, Arizona Robbins is one of my favorite characters on television ever written (and like, also just going to fully acknowledge that i know Greys is problematic media, and could write mini dissertation on it, and so many facets of Arizona/Callie were poor queer represation at best and major ick at worst). Because with Arizona, we finally got a doctor! who wore rollerskates and swinging ponytails and used her imagination in practice for her patients and it was never question ever. I love Addison for this reason, as well, though with Ms. Montgomery, we get a little bit more of the...sexist shit. ya know?

ANYWHO

-i love the time you took in comparing sirius and remus but I am...going to playfully argue with you a bit, and say Remus would never, ever, ever work in Peds. I actually think Remus-- who was a child and broke a bone every month-- would be better for Ortho!! Deceptively strong. Has seen every break under the sun--can come up with creative fixes like Callie. And I would give Sirius Alex Karevs story line--where babe was supposed to be doing something to Make His Parents Proud, only to find he loves Peds (big strong scary man, absolute softie in the Peds unit and they love him), and cue the if you don't choose a speciality we approve of, we will cut you off, conversation.

-also. and this is going to digress a bit, my greys anatomy AU is short (and i say that because Mark/Custody battle etc etc won't even be...a thing lol, so i hope that doesn't taint expectations).

And I might get some...hate for this but whatever-- as I am writing this AU, which is the first AU I have written based on Source Material, I am realizing how much...I want to deviate from the source material to make it my own. And that is partly because I read an AU very recently, based on another book, but it contained a certain ship from HP, and it....felt like such a cop out. It put such a bitter taste in my mouth, and I was reading that AU and realizing how much they took from the book and just tweaked it and if I'm being honest...that's...not....original writing? It didn't feel original. It felt like they typed with a book flat open on their lap and yeeted it into AO3. and all the comments, that were geeking out over certain lines written were taken from elsewhere. But...people can do what they want, you know?

Thats not to say I haven't read PLENTY of other AUs loosely based on Source Material (Dear Your Holiness by @mollymarymarie comes to mind) that are phenomenal.

And I say this because my...Greys AU is not..."take james and lily and substitute them in with Meredith and derek"

Because Lily is Derek first of all, like I was going to miss out on an opportunity to create a world with badass-women doctors? But Lily isn't....Derek, just his Head of X department Job Description.

when I say loosely based on Greys. I mean that. it's Loose.

A one night stand from a bar turns out to be her new intern at her hospital. Cue chaos and romance.

(but of course there is background wolfstar and shithead fancy pants intern gets put with Remus the first week and never wants to leave)

#asks #grey answers #on paging dr. evans #greys x hp

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thealleydog · 1 year

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TL,DR at the bottom. I'm gonna talk alot.

🎆✨️ And with that, the 2022 season has come to an end. What do I say about that? ✨️🎆

Life's wild, ain't it? This time last year, I had covid. Had to quarantine for two weeks in my apartment and settle for watching the distant fireworks throughout the neighborhood from my living room window.

It was the beginning of many things. I took the two weeks to try to be more than a human whose whole personality was working all the time. I started to learn how to cook. I began to practice yoga. I watched a LOT of YouTube video essays.

Shortly before I got covid, I was trying to watch all the relevant Marvel movies and shows to see No Way Home in theaters. Depression really liked to eat my memories and keep me from watching any of the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies. Which broke my heart because Spider-Man was my first and favorite Marvel character for the majority of my life. I'd never seen Doctor Strange (2016) before, and after six years, all I got out of it was my dilf fetish and comfort character, Doctor Stephen Strange. Armed with a new fictional boyfriend and time on my hands, I got back into ❤️‍🔥𝖋𝖆𝖓𝖋𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓❤️‍🔥.

Reacquainted myself with ao3 and eventually followed my favorite writers back here.

Tumblr. The Doctor Strange fanfiction community. The Benedict Cumberbatch fans. You guys truly make this place feel like a site I WANT to be on. How happy you are to interact with your readers. How you actively crave and encourage it. How you'll talk about your real-life problems and stresses. How you remind me every day this site is horny jail, and we love that for us. People like @wint3r-h3art and @dino-fart have become people I enjoy seeing a message from.

Its been said before, but fuck it. Reading your writings has been a spot of brightness in my life. A breath of fresh air after working inside a stuffy room all day. A candle you protect with your hand against the wind on your way to light a birthday cake. You people took a strictly completed works only, explicit rated smut reader and have me equally as happy reading about queer platonic dynamics with this old white man. Can't forget to shout out a little love for my Namor y Attuma homies, too. I want to sit on Attuma meaty thighs and be baby girl. 🎀

I'm very behind on a lot of stories from various people on here. But my goal is to catch up a little every night so I can enjoy all the hard work and love you guys pour into each one.

Most of my life, I felt limited. I didn't deserve love, kindness, boundaries, or space to express myself freely through my bedroom or clothes. Dad died of cancer when I was two, and I had an abusive stepfather until I was seventeen. I never traveled outside of Chicago or the Chicagoland area in general more than once every five or six years. I worked jobs since I was sixteen to struggle to pay to have some sort of life. I had some wack ass core beliefs about myself.

I'm currently in New York with a good friend of mine and fellow artist Claü. Her Instagram is @claudiarts because we support the people we love, goddammit. We celebrated the new year at a dive bar, eating grapes under the table so I can finally get some decent dick or pussy from a decent human this year. Maybe a real cool friend with benefits. Maybe a Splenda Pappy that I can work some unresolved issues out on his dick.

After that, I had a nice blackout that led to us losing half the next day and finally trying New York pizza.

New York is Chicago with organized chaos. Surprisingly, the people are not as mean as I was led to believe. It's like how everyone talks about all the gun violence in Chicago. Meanwhile, Peoria, IL, is sitting in the corner hoping nobody notices it. Everyone looks so fashionable. The food is mouth-watering. The architecture is spectacular. This place is ALIVE. It makes me want to travel even more. Become more cultured. Worldly.

Gotta make sure to go take a selfie in front of Doctor Strange's place.

I've been tattooing for a little over two years now. Managing it for a year and a half. It pays more than enough. I can afford insurance. I have an apartment by myself. My fridge is always full. I still sometimes can't believe I'm a real successful tattoo artist. I've debated posting my art and tattoos on here or linking my actual Instagram. I'm grateful every day I get to do my dream job.

I still daydream of affection and love. But, I have a small group of coworkers at the shop who I can truly call friends. I have male friends who actually like me as the perverted, all black wearing, tomboy who likes to draw dicks. They're some real ones. With the support system I'm building, I can eventually tackle dating dating. Just gotta keep working on myself and wait for the thumbs up from my therapist.

Unfortunately, a few minutes into the new year, my mom's apartment was part of the apartments in her building that got damaged by a fire. A fire started by a 90 something year old neighbor lady who never thought leaving a candle next to a Christmas tree was somehow a bad idea. So that leaves my mom, brother, and sister without a place to stay. Except now, they're sleeping over at my apartment, and I knew I should have put my dildo and Hitachi away before I left. Fuck my life, Bing bong. It be like that sometimes.

Anyways, I've been typing this for over an hour already. So Happy New Year, wishing everyone a better year than the last, and to never lose sight of who you are.

TL,DR: Happy New Year, Tumblr writers make the world a better place to be in, tattooing, Doctor Strange, I deserve things, and my mom's homeless.

#happy new year #long post #if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck its just trauma dumping #but mostly good news #might be disjointed #made sense in my head #Spotify

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riverdamien · 7 months

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Our Lady and ACE

Our Lady and ACE!

To you, my brothers and sisters in Rome, called to be saints (Romans 1:7).

The years I was kicked out of the church on my ass; being continually told I was "inherently evil," and what the "true interpretation" of the Scriptures said of my being gay I hated the Church, I hated the male God.

But one night after a long night of whoring, I entered the Cathedral in L.A. and sat down before the statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and within me her voice rang out, "You were called from before you were born to preach, go and preach the Gospel," and that was the beginning of my returning to ministry, of returning to a life of joy!

For the Divine Feminine brings a sense of well being in our alienation and uncertainty. She responds from a heart loving all without prejudice.

Our wildness in chaos is at home in her mystery! She too is filled with ambiguity and paradox, so therefore in our own struggles, we can find a sense of welcome. She brings us back to a welcoming inner place in her Son.

It is in ambiguity and paradox in which our brothers and sisters who are not straight live, we are not black and white, in particular our transgender and asexual brothers and sisters.

Transgenders are born into their wrong gender, a mistake of nature, a psychologically damning mistake. They come alive in transforming their genders. Nature makes mistakes. I have many friends who simply want talk about the subject of being queer, let along our transgender or asexual brothers and sisters . After all God simply creates us man or woman, or so we are told. (HA!) Science has proved otherwise.

Yet we see our transgender brothers and sisters beat up, murdered, and discriminated against in our schools and States. They have trouble getting health care and finding jobs.

And talking about one who is asexual is for many even more confusing and scary. Asexuality or (ace) is a sexual orientation in which a person experiences little or no sexual attraction. That is abnormal in a culture in which both secular and religious culture assert that everyone wants sex.

Since 2013 the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders have stated if "the life of an individual has been since an early age explained by one's self-identification as "asexual", that life is healthy."

Whether or not we understand our transgender and asexual brothers and sisters, we need to work at understanding, and accepting each one as a child of God, of humanity. We need to look within ourselves and see what causes us to label others.

Labeling is one of the most destructive tools used in politics, culture and sexuality.

I know what alienation and uncertainty has meant to me through the years, and now.

Not being straight, working with homeless, and disenfranchised youth of every race, creed, and sexual orientation, reaps much hatred, and alienation. My body bears the marks of the hatred.

Becoming brothers and sisters, without judgment to any color, sexual orientation, or other faiths helps us truly recenter truly traditional Jesus values and expands the kinds of relationships that can be fostered in our faith communities.

Our faith communities have failed for the most part in this out of fear, and old ways of looking at the Scripture and theology. It is time to use new wine skins for new wines!

The Trovor Project every day walks with all people of the queer community, and especially with our Transgender and Asexual brothers and sisters manifesting complete love, acceptance.

The Trevor Project's hotline is one of only a few where LGBTQ? youth can call, and find support.

We are "called to be saints". Saints are one's who continue to shoot the arrow, always missing the mark, but continue down the road towards perfection. Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

----------------------------------------

The Trevor Project

PO Box 69232

West Hollywood, CA 90069 US

212-695-8650

--------------------------------

I have walked as of today, 24 miles, and a number of people have donated to The Trevor Project, walking along with me at least in spirit, to the total thus far of $1500.00, so join me in our walk, and thank you from the bottom of my heart!

===========================

Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

www.temenos.org

415-305-2124

=================================

Let Love Ache

Father, give me the courage to keep on loving.

when others keep on hurting.

help me to live an achy love, a gritty,

persistent and emptying love;

a love that’s not afraid to flow toward the other

who has little left to offer in return.

And may I tread faithfully with heaven

through the unfinished work that surrounds me.

Commoners_Communion

Strahan Coleman

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stedewards · 1 year

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wip tag meme

tagged by @181230 and @ulfie-by-osmosis thanks for the tag bestie <3

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it.

okay so i opened quotev after a while for this and here's what i found!

my main wips (aka the ones i think about most / have most focus on)

the price of war: this is a riordanverse fic. to sum it up briefly, it's got an overpowered mc who passes out as much as hearthstone, and not a lot of happy stuff

shattered: this is literally just a feel-good fic about a bunch of queer friends and overcomplicated storylines. (it's set in marauders era - i will address this under the cut if for some reason u want to know about fandom stuff)

goldfish (aka heather): the lily rosier fic, no description needed bc she is world famous actually

demons: a marauders/pjoverse murder mystery

????: set in the star wars universe, it follows one of my ocs who's present in every fic i write and i view as a personification of the timeline. it's a bunch of angst and just super fun for me

trans gwen au: @ulfie-by-osmosis beloved, title says it all

fate and time: a mattfoggy fic inspired by the themes of the starless sea. i love mattfoggy sm they are gay ok goodnight

the ones i am not as focused on / other wips include the following. some of them have 0 written fic content

broken world: this is literally my mcu brainchild fic. it's mcu-universe compliant except aos was canon and my oc exists. she's desi btw and married to daisy and i love them

whatever it takes: to be honest, i forgot this existed. it's set in the shadowhunters universe and spans like. all the shit to be honest. it's a universe at this point

broken blades: it's set in the same multiverse as broken world is, but it's set in the fox x-men universe and follows a different oc. (for eye ra, her name is cas)

broken space: this is the timeline lady from ???? except make it mcu. yes there is a theme i am aware. yes the stories overlap. no they are incredibly different and quirky and unique

unbroken: this is my game of thrones fic! that takes place mainly in my head! it has three main ocs of mine. one is the timeline lady (re: ???? above) and struggles between keeping a promise to a dead friend and her present loyalties, one is hellbent on revenge for her brother's death, and the last is trying to escape the war

saving grace (title is under works): four best friends. chaos. absolutely no content available. hp era

oh my god we're all gonna die (title is under works): four best friends. chaos. absolutely no content available. pjo/hoo era

roses of summer: this is marauders again and loosely based off august by taylor swift

the lucky one: this is set in the mcu (mine maybe, maybe not) and it. doesn't really have a plot tbh; still a wip

i'm pretty sure i missed a bunch of fics but this is all my brain could come up with so YEAH

tags: @dishaashitposts and anyone else interested!

RE hp fics - i do not support jkr and the things she's said about the trans community. at the same time, i acknowledge that the harry potter books and universe have been so important in my personal life and i do not want to separate that. i have had fanfics before the onslaught of transphobia, and to be honest, i don't really need to sit and justify my writing of fics to strangers on the internet. a shit ton of these fics are purely for my personal enjoyment. they are my brainchildren. they make me happy. if u read this for whatever reason, i hope u have a lovely day and take care <3

#my fic list #my wips

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softdeb · 2 years

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HACKS APPRECIATION WEEK — Day 4: Favourite Main Character Ava Daniels played by Hannah Einbinder

Ava Daniels my bisexual, matcha latte making, agent of chaos, you absolute fucking dweeb. I love you. My favourite character is a coin toss between Deb and Ava on any given day, any given second really and my first time watching I was definately all about Deb for the most part, I mean, we are all Hannah fawning over Jean, are we not? But I had to go with Ava for this because well, she’s the catalyst.

Even though the show opens on Deborah, Ava sets everything in motion. We enter Deb’s world through her, our perceptions and understanding of everything is predominately shaped through her. She is a fucking mess and she self sabotages and she wants to be loved unconditionally and so desperately it hurts. She wants to be good. I love Deborah SO MUCH but that’s actually the cherry on top or me in a weird way, I get to experience love for Deborah through Ava. I am so much like Ava in so many ways. Yearning for meaning, to matter, to escape a shitty childhood riddled with bullshit catholic guilt and shame and being queer. I’m a bonafide oversharer and I’m the friend that spends too much on a elderflower matcha latte and loves every second of it. (But do let it be known that I do know who Alan Alda is and I abssolutely do not consider myself Gen Z.)

I think about how she gifts Deborah the magazine and it’s so fucking sincere and lovely and vulnerable and exposing and I could take a page from Ava’s book to not be embarrassed by that kind of gesture beacuse that shit matters and it makes a difference and it makes people’s life better.

I love Ava Daniels and this is for all the tweets shitting on her and the articles dismissing her and the backhanded compliments about Hannah’s performance despite Ava’s unlikeability, fuck those guys, cause it’s not just that the show wouldn’t exist without her, just like with Deborah, she makes it better.

#hacks #hacks hbo #hbo max #ava daniels #hannah einbinder #gifs #hacksaw22 #i really thought this was gonna be deb when i started this #and now we're here

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nervouscupcakeinspace · 3 years

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BTS FIC RECS (PART 2)

Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope

Don't Get Charmed by shikiso

When an injured omega is found on their territory, Jungkook's instincts scream danger. He is the pack's omega, they don't need another one. Jungkook is doing a good enough job by himself, protecting the den and soothing the tension off everybody's shoulders.

Why is the pack so adamant on keeping that useless omega in ?

They have Jungkook, they don't need Hoseok.

Why can't they even see his little game ? Hoseok definitely knows how to play the scared and helpless omega. But, if he manages to trick everybody, he can't trick Jungkook. He is immune to his sweet scent and sweeter eyes.

He won't fall into his trap.

Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin

Omega Drip by sugamongoose

Park Jimin is the kind of alpha who makes you coffee and asks about your day before reducing his partner to a crying, writhing mess on his organic cotton sheets. He doesn't even seem to care one bit that Jungkook is a broken omega who doesn't get wet when he's supposed to.

“Are you busy right now, alpha?” Jungkook asks, holding his breath in anticipation. He can already visualise getting on his knees for the smaller man, can imagine those soft-looking hands petting his hair in approval when he shows just how good his mouth is.

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Namjoon | RM

Every Kind of Way by Oh_Hey_Tae

And then he realizes, quite belatedly, that he’s not supposed to be shaking the hand of the barista. Because that’s weird. And uncalled for. And really, really weird.

So Jungkook draws back his arm, grips the straps of his backpack, and promptly flees the building without a word spoken. Which is fine. Sometimes you have to get out of awkward social situations and blacklist particular cafés and adjust your route to school to avoid said café and the barista with the heart shaped face and his sweet pea scented hands. It happens.

“Jungkook-ah, meet Kim Namjoon.”

And sometimes during your bi-weekly dinner one of your good friends introduces you to said barista with the terribly soft hands who also happens to be getting his masters in social work to help underprivileged youth in inner city neighborhoods. Which is fine. This is fine. Jungkook is doing just fine.

(Or: Jungkook adores everything about Namjoon except that the man can't catch a clue.)

Here Is What I Know by Oh_Hey_Tae

There are flowers growing on Namjoon’s arm. They aren’t real flowers, of course. That would be absurd. Impossible. Ridiculous. But Namjoon spends most of his lecture on Kant watching the garden of ink bloom on his skin, beginning at his pinkie and spreading across his wrist, trickling down to his elbow, curling up and around his bicep and out of sight under the sleeve of his shirt. Irises and peonies and roses and sunflowers. The girl who’s sitting beside him is staring, and when caught, gives Namjoon a bright-eyed grin before glancing back to the board. Namjoon spots a faded smiley face inked into the skin of her thumb, what looks to be a grocery list scrawled over the back of her hand. Notes or reminders from her soulmate maybe. Soulmates. Huh. It looks like Namjoon has one of those now.

try to resist, i still want it all by exarite

At first, Namjoon doesn’t think much of him.

He looks familiar, but he’s too far away for Namjoon to really see or scent out his dynamic. He’s cute, but Namjoon's not new to cute boys either. He's far too used to handsome, and pretty, and everything in between in the industry.

But then he stands up. Namjoon's eyes catch on the swell of his belly, and every nerve in his body lights up, his mind going blank, and—

Oh, he breathes. He's pregnant.

Namjoon fucks a pregnant Jungkook.

just let me adore you by elle_O_moonchild *

Rockstar omega Jungkook has never let an alpha tie him down. He was independent, and happy, and had no need for a domineering knothead to mess up his career and lifestyle.

But powerful and wealthy alpha Namjoon only wants to spoil the pretty omega rotten.

A smitten alpha Namjoon gets a weary omega Jungkook to go on a date with him and shows him just how good they can be together…

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Seokjin | Jin

more and more and more by moonsuns

"If you haven’t had sex by the time you’re twenty, then I’ll have sex with you. That way you’ll have a guaranteed end date for your virginity.”

“Do you promise, hyung?”

"I promise."

The problem was, Seokjin never expected to be called on it.

you shouldn't give it to me (good like that) by jamaisvore

opposites in the eyes of the media, but a perfect match in each other's arms.

or: supermodel!jk x rockstar!jin

Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM

Pull Me Under by Oh_Hey_Tae

It’s been two weeks. Hoseok has managed to survive two weeks of Kim Namjoon’s progressively darkening thighs and his cheek craters and his swooshy hair and that stupid laugh he does that makes him sound like a bleating sheep.

Yoongi looks over his shoulder. Stares. Slowly draws his gaze back to Hoseok. “Are we discussing the same man who tried to brush his teeth with sunscreen yesterday?”

“Ew, he did that?”

“Your voice says that’s disgusting but your face says you’re enamored.”

Hoseok presses his palms against his eyes until he sees colored spots. “Make it stop, hyung.”

(Or: Hoseok works at a summer resort and Namjoon is the newest lifeguard. Chaos ensues.)

fall underneath by crycoby

“Is this secretly about your huge crush on Namjoon?” Jimin asks, his fingers digging into the back of Hoseok’s neck in a way that is frankly criminal. “You know that if you like him, you’re going to have to be more direct. He doesn’t like to assume things about people and… He overthinks a lot,” he finally settles on diplomatically.

Hoseok groans, half because of the pressure and half because the idea of talking about this, about any of this, about any of the gnarled mess that is the clutch of Hoseok’s emotions in the knot of his chest, gives him hives.

hoseok could talk about his big messy feelings about namjoon, or he could talk around them instead and just hope for the best. yeah. that sounds good.

Methods of Mutual Stress Relief by Only_A_Fangirl

Hoseok cringes, “How weird would it be if I actually asked to jerk off in here with you?”

“Very,” Namjoon answers instantly.

Hoseok nods, “You can choose the porn.”

Namjoon blinks, “Are you for real?”

lyre lyre lyre by oliviacirce

Namjoo regrets every life choice that has led her here, to the hard wooden floor of this dance studio, where she's lying on her back like a beached whale.

Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Taehyung | V

the long and winding road by moonsuns

Hoseok is (basically) forced to go on vacation and leave his stressful idol life behind, at least for a little while. He wasn't expecting to find Taehyung, that's for sure. (He's glad he did, though.)

Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin

Procurement by FlyYouFools1 (WIP) *

Seokjin and Namjoon have waited decades for a little of their own. Taehyung just wants to pay for his little brother's education.

Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Taehyung | V

Dandelion Love (part of the (Not) Destined series) by almostsophie1

Taehyung is twenty-one when the word on his wrist turns ashen. The kind of love that soulmates share is forever out of reach.

(But enter one Kim Namjoon, who doesn't think the same.)

Kim Namjoon | RM/Min Yoongi | Suga

Bleeding Love by beebalm

Yoongi was already dressed and halfway to the door, nothing but a dry chuckle and a See you around when Namjoon asked for his number.

It's not that Namjoon is hurt Yoongi only ever wanted him for a one night stand. And he doesn't have a crush. He just wishes they didn't have to keep seeing each other all the time.

Kim Namjoon | RM/Park Jimin

but i want it anyway by ameliabedelias *

Park Jimin’s roommate goes to study abroad for a semester. Kim Namjoon takes over the lease.

only lingering around you by moonsuns

“I don't. I mean...this is going to sound awkward, but I’m...not really looking for a relationship right now.”

Namjoon considers, for a moment, elaborating and telling Jimin about everything with Hoseok, but there wouldn't be any point in that. And also, Namjoon is pretty sure that Jimin doesn't care about any of that anyway.

And he's right. At this, Jimin outright laughs. It isn’t a mean laugh, but Namjoon is pierced by the sound anyway. “Who said anything about a relationship, or even feelings? It’s just sex.”

Or, Namjoon and Jimin are friends with benefits.

Kim Seokjin | Jin/Min Yoongi | Suga

운명 (Fate) (part of the (Not) Destined series) by almostsophie1

Yoongi is part of that three percent population left without a soulmate word. It doesn't matter if he falls in love, because love isn't meant for people like him.

(Then he meets Seokjin.)

candy on my lips (part of the just desserts series) by moonbabie

Anonymous advice columnist and baby bi Kim Sujin meets queer club president Min Yoonji, and does the following: writes some cheesy advice columns, cuts her hair, and figures out her shit. (aka a queer romcom meets emotional constipation, self-discovery, and clueless wlw)

Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin

pull me closer in the backseat of your rover by moonsuns

Jimin had just wanted to get off. He didn't think he'd end up with a boyfriend at the end of it all.

Or, another friends with benefits AU.

Nip & Bloom by sugamongoose (WIP) *

The year is 2021, and yet traditional and oppressive views of alpha/omega relations run rampant in the Korean society. Unmated Park Jimin is placed in a government programme which pairs delinquent omegas with support mates to make them more comfortable in their submission. Jimin’s alpha for six months turns out to be Min Yoongi, a tiny music producer who wears fuzzy sweaters, and who won’t stop talking about his kitten Holly.

“You look like an omega,” Jimin blurts out. The strange alpha flashes him a smile that reveals the pink of his gums. “Is that something you prefer? I saw your file, and it said you identify as queer.” “Oh, you looked at my file just to see if I like to fuck other omegas? Knot swelling yet?”

POLY RELATIONSHIPS

OT7 - Relationship

indiscentsible by cloudyworld *

Jungkook had been a little disappointed when, after all the build-up and speculation, he'd presented as a beta. Betas are great! They play an important role in society: level-headed, big-picture thinkers, the solid foundation that holds everyone together. But that pull of instinct that comes with being an alpha or omega, the feeling of belonging... He was crushed at the thought he might never get to have that.

In a pack with three alphas and three omegas already, presenting beta was a gift; Jungkook learns to see that too.

Precious Mettle by glitterandgilt (WIP) *

Jin loved his nest. He'd built it very carefully from the ground up. Spent centuries on selecting the individuals he wanted to spend the rest of his immortal life with. He was proud of his nest and protected it with a possessive love that rivaled a dragon's guard on their trove.

Jin didn't get the chance to go through that evaluation process with his newest treasure. But he would never let it go.

When Jin's blood is stolen and used to sire a new fledgling, Jin has two choices: to ignore the strands of magic binding him to his new childe, or to lay claim to another jewel for his collection. He chooses the latter and drags his entire nest into a situation none of them were anticipating.

Kim's Seven by Gobi17 (WIP) *

Jungkook, 17 year old YouTuber, is in awe of the 6 hot boys who have adopted him online.

Bangtan are a dangerous group of vigilantes who seize the opportunity to kidnap the stepson of their latest target.

Found Kin by Adaptive_Artist (WIP)

Jungkook is starving. Food doesn't make anything better, and his teeth ache like someone is hammering on them. He thought he was cursed. Turns out he's a hatchling kin, and is now the precious baby of the renowned Kim nest. He's also growing little fangs.

Huh.

love bites (series) by feraljk (WIP)

Summary from the first fic:

newly-turned vampire jungkook still has a lot to learn, but his hyungs are there to help him. taehyung enlists yoongi and jin to teach the fledgling how to teethe and helps him discover how much of a bonding activity teething can be.

or: trans koo and tae teeth on their hyungs and also come

Isn't it lovely? (all alone) by hopefully2020

At age eighteen, all citizens are given a concentration that will determine their fields of study. A small empty square on their wrist will gain a color corresponding to their skill set. Everyone’s fear is that their square color is black, meaning they are destined for a life of crime. When Jungkook turns eighteen, he waits anxiously for his square to gain color, only to be presented with a blank square. He is shunned by his family, having to struggle through high school while trying to figure out what to do for the rest of his life. Jungkook's life gets flipped upside down on the day of his twenty-first birthday when the store he works at is robbed with Jungkook at the cash register. Fearing for his life he believes he is going to die, only to be saved by a figure in black with a mask covering his face. To make things even worse, Jungkook suddenly becomes the target of one of the largest drug syndicates, solely because of his new connection to his savior and five other men who turn out to be the biggest crime lords in Seoul. What happens then, you ask? Well, then the blank world Jungkook always saw starts to drip with black, just a little bit.

blueberry peaches (a serendipitous summer) by elle_O_moonchild (WIP)

Jungkook spends a life changing summer working at a beachside car wash and meets 6 new lovers who change his heart and life forever.

Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM

Falling For an Alien From Amalthea 5 by Pyotr_Keats78 (WIP)

Jungkook has been in and out of the hospital for years with various medical problems. Eventually, his heart becomes so weak that no human medicine can save him. Believing he will die never having come out as trans to anyone, he gives up. That is until his brother Jimin tells him, “You have two choices, Jungah: you can stay here in this hospital and get high every day until your heart fails you, or you can go to Amalthea, grow a parasite, and live.”

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin

Mentoring on Marsa by FlyYouFools1

Jungkook comes to the planet Marsa after being promised a full scholarship to Marsa National University. When the scholarship falls through, his academic advisor gives him the number for a mentoring service for newly stranded omegas on Marsa. With rent due, no way home, and no success in finding a job, Jungkook calls the number. The organization sends him Min Yoongi, a fellow omega who's been living on Marsa for 8 years. Yoongi teaches him how to survive. Jungkook's first attempt at survival is alpha couple Jimin and Taehyung.

Features: Yoongi doing his best to teach Jungkook how to manage handsy alphas, handsy alphas (like all of them are touchy) taking liberties with omega protagonists, and my best attempt at writing problematic but entertaining sex. A lot of fluff too, actually. The alphas are fluffy as hell with the omegas, and pamper them a lot, even though their actual behavior is wrong.

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V/Min Yoongi | Suga

November (series) by cuttothequickk

Summary from the first fic:

Sometimes, Jeongguk gets so lonely he doesn't even feel alone anymore. He's practicing, and he's very good at it. Loneliness. Being alone. It's blustery cold, and the leaves are falling from the branches of trembling trees, and Jeongguk is alone in a big city, shivering without a jacket, trying desperately to keep himself warm.

There is no one, and then there is someone. Two someones. The lovely winter boys from Daegu, Taehyung and Yoongi, opposites and equals, so loving and in love.

It would be ridiculous, really, if Jeongguk didn't fall for them, too.

Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM/Min Yoongi | Suga

how, or when, or from where by moonsuns

“Stop calling it my quest,” Namjoon whines, and Hoseok laughs.

“You’re the one that said it first.”

“I was drunk.”

“Well, the bad thing about going out with people, is that you can’t take back the stupid shit you said when you were drunk. Especially when they’re way less drunk than you.”

Or, after Namjoon almost dies, he decides to go on a quest to live his best life, and takes Yoongi and Hoseok along for the ride.

(* Personal favorites)

MASTERPOST FIC RECS PART 1

#bts fic rec #my fic recs #mine #koobi #jikook #namkook #jinkook #namseok #vhope #namjin #taejoon #namgi #minimoni #yoonjin #yoonmin #ot7 #bts poly #bts

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