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#I took the necessary time to heal
dogs-over-people · 8 months
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It only took, I don’t know how long… But I’m finally able to look at Sesshomaru without having a visceral negative reaction where I’m screaming pedo/groomer in my head.
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batboybisexualism · 2 months
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my stupid fucking doctor not only waited too long to submit my top surgery authorization but she put it down as an inpatient procedure when it's an outpatient procedure so now they have to postpone the surgery until april 23rd when it was supposed to be this fucking tuesday I'm going to fucking kill someone
#on top of all this I was like an hour late to all my dog walks this morning because my family people were delayed getting home#so I got back to nj from brooklyn way late and I have like 20 dog walks today also a surprise dentist appointment for no fucking reason#and my dentist is also a fucking idiot so that was annoying as hell#apparently the fucking surgeon's office isn't allowed to send me those authorization papers to give my doctor before 30 days before surgery#so they had several months to get me the information and have me talk to my pcp but they weren't allowed to??#and then my idiot doctor took forever to send it in despite me calling her every fucking day reminding her#and on top of that she didn't even fill it out correctly when the necessary info was right in front of her#I had to work so hard to free up two weeks to heal from this surgery and three days before the date they tell me this happens all the time#the woman on the phone was like scolding me about my doctor messing it up as if it's my fucking fault#and as if I had any way of knowing that this would all get fucked up and I'd have to force her to do it like idk four days before she did???#then she told me to calm down when I got mad at her for being a jerk about it#god I want to fucking diiiieeeeeee#all this is happening while I'm running on like three hours of sleep too by the way :)#just did my pre-surgery telehealth appointment too and the surgeon was all smiley and like 'oh yeah I'm sure it will work out!'#this was like two days ago too lmao like thanks for the heads up you piece of shit!!!!
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hugepenishaver · 1 year
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i think i found an actually normal therapist holy shit???
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undercoverpena · 2 months
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can you imagine meeting ghost off-duty. no mask—just a regular man, in a bar close to where you’ve just moved. the two of you begin talking, don’t swap anything about the other, no work talk, just one weekend—one night, really. all nail scratching, teeth digging down into his shoulder to stop your new neighbours complaining. then he leaves, enjoys one mug of tea before his boots are on and he kisses your cheek goodbye.
you don’t think about him.
not outside of the ache he’s left between your legs and the marks that’ll take time to heal. you stuff it into a basket in your mind as you begin packing your bag, heading to the place where you’ll be meeting a new team—become the latest recruit to something more off the record, than on.
you’re sized up, and you size them up back. don’t linger on the pair of eyes behind a balaclava that digs into you with more venom than gratitude. you exchange no words outside of the necessary, completely keeping yourself to yourself where you can—not wanting to miss out on this, an opportunity not handed so often.
so it isn’t until you’re back from the desert, removing sand from wherever it has tried to find a home, that you see your Lt hovering in the doorway. sliding the fabric up, exposing a pair of lips that make you frown, before he speaks.
and his tone isn’t gruff, isn’t as low or as formal as you’ve heard through the radio. if anything, it’s reminiscent of a voice from weeks ago, one buried into your ear, one burned and soldered to your skin as you took and you took and you took.
you get confirmation it’s him when he makes a comment, one that makes you ice cold and full of fire all at once. before now, you’d never thought that “nice work out there” would have the same effect on you as “you can take it”.
sorry, not sorry to @ghostaholics who I woke up with this thought hahahah.
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backwardsbread · 2 months
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Hazbin Hotel Characters:
~Marriage proposals~
Warnings‼️: genderneutral!reader, established relationship, characterxreader, lots of fluff, Valentino existing, mentions of cannibals/cannibalism, possessive behavior, pet names used, mentions of divorce, some swearing.
A/N: How would the Hazbin hotel characters propose! I might do a vise versa, where reader proposes. But this one is the characters proposing to YOU. Enjoy~!
This is pretty long- I don’t know how to find word count, but if anyone wants more, drop a request :))
?Semi proofread?
Lucifer:
This man is a NERVOUS WRECK.
When he realizes he wants to marry you, he lowkey panics. Starts acting like you guys just now started dating.
He’s super anxious, trying to impress you, and prove that he’s good enough for you.
(Whether he’s trying to prove that to you, or himself, is up for debate.)
The two of you met on a whim. You didn’t really know it was the king of hell you were talking to when you first met.
How could this be the king?? He was so goofy. His playful demeanor immediately drew you in.
With even learning about how Lucifer was, it didn’t stop those fuzzy feelings towards him that bubbled in your chest.
It took him a long time to even get into a relationship with you, due to him being caught up in his past with Lillith.
But overtime, your affection is what gets him through the tough days.
He gets all flustered and embarrassed at your sweet gestures, trying to hide the fact that he’s realizing he wants you to always only be his.
As we know, he had a previous marriage and that commitment failed him before. He had a right to feel nervous of the subject that once bruised his soul.
But in his heart, he truly knows this is what he wants. He wants to spend his eternity with you if you allowed him to.
When the thought has finally settled, and he knows he’s ready to try marriage again, it doesn’t settle his nerves.
This has to be PERFECT-
He needs the perfect ring, the perfect setting, the perfect outfit. All of which he had easy access to, he is the king afterall.
Yet, nothing seems to be perfect enough. Nothing is enough, nothing he can think of matches how strong his feelings are for you.
Once he thinks he’s decided on what will be perfect, he ditches the idea to try and come up with something better.
He consults Charlie on this issue a lot. Including her in this is very important to him. He makes sure she’s comfortable with the idea of him being married to someone who wasn’t her mother.
Charlie is a bit put off by the idea, it’s strange to think about. She never thought of her father getting remarried, but the thought doesn’t necessary upset her. She’s more worried about history repeating itself.
Overall, she wants her father to be happy, and helps him prepare for the proposal in any way she can.
(Mostly moral support because this guy is in emotional turmoil over this.)
He’s in a constant inbetween of if this was the right thing to do. Was it too soon in your guys relationship? Was it too soon after his divorce? Would you even want to spend the rest of your damnation with the one who started it all?
With heavy encouragement and reassurance from Charlie, he finally has the guts to ask you the big question.
But….. when he takes you out on the date where he meant to propose…
He chickens out. (Or ducks out haha)
“It is quite beautiful tonight.. you know I love you, right?……. Good! Yeah-! U-Uh-.. oh my golly! Look at the time! How that darn old thing does fly-Haha! W-We should head home!- boy am I tired-!”
Rinse and repeat this process a handful of times.
You do start to get a bit skeptical of your partners behavior. You guys had been going on extremely fancy dates at least once a week.
And while you had no complaints on spending time with Lucifer, you did notice his strange behavior.
The way his mood would incline before your guys’ date, and then suddenly decline when it was over. Then having to take the rest of the week to heal his pride.
It was just a big rollercoaster of emotions. You were starting to worry you were the cause of his stress.
(I mean. Technically you were)
During one of his many attempts in asking you, he had already internally given up when he stumbled over his words in the middle of dinner.
Your date was coming to a close, and like clockwork, Lucifer’s chipper mood deteriorated.
His shoulders slumped, he was pouty, and dragging his feet on the way back to the castle.
Before the two of you can enter, you grab Lucifer’s hand, stopping him. He gives you a confused look, posture straightening to look at you.
You give him small pecks all over his face, in hopes to cheer him up from whatever was troubling him.
Your actions have the affect you were hoping for, as he laughs and steals your lips into his own, a wide smile on his face as he rests his hands on your waist.
His nerves seemed to dissipate as he felt an overwhelming sense of security and love for you.
His body was moving before his mind could keep up. The moment just felt right.
He pulls away from your shared embrace, reaching into his pocket, and getting down on one knee. He opens the ring box, revealing the glimmering jewelry within it.
You look at him in shock and he returns the same look, surprised at his own actions. Well there was no backing out of it now- (saY SOMETHING LUCIFER-)
It takes him a few seconds to recover from the shock and he’s tempted to just pretend to tie his shoe. But you knew his intentions and watched the nerves wrack their way up his body once again.
Before he can even speak, give a speech he had rehearsed probably a hundred times in front of his mirror, you say yes.
And the relief that washes over this man— the weight that lifted off his shoulders in that moment— felt amazing.
You bend down with him, smiling ear to ear and chuckling as you realized this is why he was so worked up the past couple months.
Tears fill Lucifer’s eyes as he slides the piece of jewelry onto your ring finger.
You kiss away the tears that slip down his face and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.
His tattered heart feeling stitched back together that day.
Alastor:
We all know Alastor isn’t the biggest on romance.
He’s a true gentleman, of course, but public displays of affection and intimate relationships weren’t his cup of tea.
The two of you had know each other for years in the afterlife, yet it was only recently you had put a label on your relationship.
Falling for you was never part of his plan.
He first saw you as an prey, only a possible soul he could claim for his ongoing collection.
But your sickening sweetness unfortunately grew on him over time. He once wanted to take advantage of it, but he became too fond of you to corrupt it.
You moved from his prey to his acquaintance.
You lived in cannibal town where he would frequently visit.
You join the gossip sessions with him and Rosie, indulging in their banter. It starts by you just walking by and throwing a comment towards their conversation you were listening in to. Eventually you had your own designated seat at their table.
Rosie definitely saw the potential the connection you and Alastor had, so she subtly pushes the two of you to hang out more.
This leads to your relationship advancing from mere acquaintances to good friends. The transition quick due to Rosie’s persistence.
Anytime Alastor would visit cannibal town, he would make effort to pay you a visit. He just felt so drawn to your company.
His smile felt less strained, his body would relax, and he could do what he wanted while you served up some fresh pinkie fingers.
There would be occasions of Alastor realizing he’s dropped his guard around you, and he would be snippy and aggressive those days. In fear of going soft and losing his mojo.
The first time he did this scared you,
(I mean obviously, the mans body grows two-ten times in his demon form)
But after a talk with Rosie about it, you tried to be understanding. Instead of falling away or distant with Alastor after his little tantrums, you simply waited it out. When he was back to normal asking softly if he wanted to talk about it or move on.
It wasn’t clear to you when you guys really started being affectionate towards one another. It just kind of happened.
You knew Alastor to be a gentleman before formally meeting him. So him linking arms with you, kissing your knuckles, holding open doors was nothing new.
It seemed like everyone besides the two of you knew the true feelings you two had for each other before you guys did.
You were holding hands, seeing each other everyday, Alastor would give you his coat to borrow on colder days, etc. Just small sweet gestures the two of you would share.
It took an incredible amount of time for Alastor to come to terms with his feelings. He hadn’t done this before and had no control of what his heart wanted. It was scary.
Putting a label on what you guys had didn’t seem necessary. The two of you knew what you meant to each other in an unspoken agreement.
(Rosie did eventually pressure him to actually ask you out however. It was the gentleman’s thing to do)
(But enough backstory)
More often than not, Alastor found himself spending his nights with you. Not to leave until the morning or midday after.
The two of you practically lived together when the overlord wasn’t too busy with other matters.
We already went over how the two of you weren’t big on labels. It wasn’t until Rosie asked that Alastor had even thought about marriage.
“Sooo… when are you going to put a rock on your pretty thang’s finger?”
“Hm? I don’t think it’s necessary.”
“What?? You’re kidding right? That darling and you have been together ages! You wouldn’t want someone else swiping them away from you, right?”
“Hah! Never going to happen. Who in their right mind would try that?”
“…”
“You do know where we are, right?”
It had never occurred to the Radio demon before. You guys had made your relationship official of course. Anyone else who would try and court you and take you away from him would be simply insane.
But the thought wormed itself into his brain and flourished.
The thought of not knowing what you were doing 24/7. The thought of someone possibly stealing you away without his knowledge.
The thought of some undeserving sinner having their hands on what belonged to him.
It irked him.
After that conversation with Rosie, say goodbye to your privacy. You’re not going anywhere alone. He can’t risk someone even attempting to steal you away.
It was irritating how he was always tracking you, keeping a shadow with you at all times.
If someone even dared to hold open a door for you that wasn’t him or his shadow, he’d show up at your side in an instant.
It made you anxious and overall, you felt your partner didn’t trust you.
You did express these feelings to Alastor, but your words seemed to phase right through him. You had no idea what had gotten into him to make him (even more) protective.
You joined him in bed one night, as he was stilling up, enjoying a book with jazz music emitting from his aura.
You cuddle close to him, the feeling of fuzzy static that enveloped you a comforter for your slumber.
Before you can let yourself drift off to sleep, your partner closes his book with one hand, the loud thump making you jolt.
“Say darling, what do you think of marriage?”
The sudden ask has you dumbfounded, giving him a deer in headlights stare. (Hah-)
He had never even mentioned marriage before yet here he was now, smiling at you as he waited for your response.
You give honesty, telling him you never really thought of it yourself and you were surprised to hear the idea from him.
You did mention how the subject didn’t draw you away. You knew you loved Alastor with your entire soul. Your heart and soul were his without one of his binding contracts.
Once he hears your approval he snaps his fingers making one of his shadows appear, holding out his signature red coat to him. He reaches into the pocket of his jacket, fishing out what he desired.
He pulled out a small box and handed it to you, his shadow dismissing itself from the scene.
You give him a confused look, before gently opening the box. Your eyes meeting the small band inside.
Oh- he was serious?????
You give him a puzzled look, while he just tilts his head at you, silently asking ‘too soon?’
Your eyes continue to track from the ring, to him, back to the ring, then back to him.
Your hesitation comes off as denial to Alastor, so he reaches out to take the box back. Before he can even lay a finger on it, you pull it to your chest protectively.
You give him a glare for even having the audacity to try and take this away from you. Your actions make him chuckle and hold his hands up defensively.
You slip the band onto your ring finger. Once it’s perfectly snug onto your digit, you pull your partner close to you, peppering his lips with small pecks. Scolding him in between your kisses for being so nonchalant.
He simply chuckles against your affections, telling you the ring will be a reminder you are always his.
And you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Vox:
Vox is not one for settling down. No shot in hell.
Have you seen this man?? Holy hell take a chill pill.
A lot of Vox’s priorities lie with his work. He’s always pushing the boundaries of tech, eager to create something new and be on the face of it.
He never thought of dating. Being tied down to one person made him cringe. So the thought of marriage never even entered his system.
Then there was you of course. Messing up his plans.
How could he not fall for you? You were charming, beautiful, and down right too good for him.
(According to him.)
Your presence and the feelings you gave him made him feel threatened. He tried to put him a wall between the two of you, avoiding you at all costs.
But when he would look at his phone, seeing your icon pop up with messages to him. His fans would kick into gear, his cold heart ticking rapidly in his chest.
Yeah he had it BAD.
When you became a priority to him as well, it kind of threw a wrench in the balance of his schedule.
Yes he loves you but that fact scares him. He wasn’t exactly the safest demon to be around.
So he found it better that the two of you keep your relationship secret. Mostly spending early mornings and late nights with you.
It was difficult to manage. You wanted nothing more than to try hang out with your partner all day but he was always busy.
You would visit him at work, but on very rare occasion. You still owned your soul, which meant Valentino saw it as up for grabs, despite Vox’s warnings (threats) to not lay a finger on you.
As much as you enjoyed visiting your partner at work, you understood his reasonings for being uncomfortable with it.
Besides that, the chance of others seeing the two of you in public was way too high. You guys didn’t usually go on dates.
Your partner was more comfortable having you stay at home, having a double life without him. You lived with Vox, but outside of the time you two spent together, you had your own things going on.
Vox knew about it of course, he cares about you more than anything. He needs to know what’s going on at all times. And what you had going on outside of him was important to him.
He always has a screen pulled up in his monitor room while working. Just to see what you were up to.
The screen usually tracked a camera on you whenever you went out, it displayed your phone screen whenever it was in use, and showed your vitals on the bottom corner of the screen.
He didn’t trust the sinners that roamed these streets, rightfully so. Being able to track you gave him a source of comfort when he couldn’t always be around.
As mentioned before, going out on dates wasn’t really a thing. But Vox would usually clear up one day a month in his schedule. Just to spend the entire day with you.
(Of course he occasionally shuts down, checking how everything is going at V headquarters while he’s not around. Cant take this man entirely away from his work)
You’d spend those days cuddling, ordering in some takeout, and just catching up with each other. Getting in as much affection as you could.
The nights were soft and intimate. It was what you always looked forward to.
Vox had some things to do early morning on the day designated for the two of you. You did pout and complain to him, but he promised to be back as soon as he could.
Hours passed and you started to get a little bit peeved that your partner had yet to return home. Checking the time, you decide to take matters into your own hands.
You get dolled up, pack up a small container of snacks, and head to V’s headquarters.
Making your way through the crowd of demons and sinners. You head up the elevator, but it stops on Valentinos floor.
And with just your luck, the lustful demon is standing there, waiting to get on. When he sees your face, he grins wide and enters the elevator. Standing uncomfortably close.
He blows out his pink slut smoke into the small space, making you cringe and try to waft the stench away from you.
Valentino is touchy and that’s an understatement.
So when he bends down at your level, once again offering a job to you, your heart rate spikes.
Meanwhile, Vox is having a one sided argument with Velvette, the young overlord scolding him as she changed his outfit several times.
It wasn’t often Vox was used as a model for Velvette, but he had actually asked her ahead of time to design something special for you and him.
By ahead of time, he asked yesterday, not giving Velvette nearly enough time.
While he tuned out of his teammate reprimanding him, his watch buzzed, alerting him of your abnormal heart rate.
He gives a confused look, his screen going black for a second as he brought up his home security camera on his screen. When seeing you weren’t at the house, his eye twitched.
Where the hell did you go??
He was brought back, his face glitching in and out as he pulled out his phone, bringing up your location.
He saw how close you were and immediately thought the worst.
He zaps himself into the nearest camera, zipping through the electronics to find where you are.
Within a minute, he’s found you in the elevator, practically cornered by Valentino who was literally drooling on you.
The lights flicker in the elevator as it comes to a screeching halt. Cue your partner showing up with a crack of blue electricity, yanking Valentino away from you by the moth’s wing.
He puts himself in front of you, acting as a shield so you don’t have to be near Valentino’s poison.
“W̵̰̻͍̉̔̅̀̐͐͒͆̒̚ḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝ǎ̴̯̀͠t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅ t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ f̵̢̻͈̫̬̻͔̘̞͈̆̇̍̈̌͊ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓c̵̛̥͊k̵̘̺̦͉͖̪̪͖͉͊̆̔́̈́̍̃̈́͒̂̑̀̚͜͝ d̶̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̓̎̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅ y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓ t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝i̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝k̵̘̺̦͉͖̪̪͖͉͊̆̔́̈́̍̃̈́͒̂̑̀̚͜͝ y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓’r̵̡͕͈͚͍͍̼͕̍̀̈́̽̎̍͗̍́̏̚͜͠ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ d̶̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̓̎̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅi̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝ǧ̷̡̟̲̹̩̱͉̮̭͇͚̮̖̟̽̓͊̔̓̕??”
(What the fuck do you think you’re doing??)
Vox’s voice glitched out, muted TV static layering his voice as the fans whirled in the back of his head. In a desperate attempt to cool him down.
Valentino doesn’t give much of a reaction, putting his hands up in feigned innocence.
“𝒟𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒱𝑜𝓍𝓍𝒾𝑒! 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻-“
“You better watch your mouth.”
“𝒪𝒽𝒽, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓈𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑒𝓉. 𝒲𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒶𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓈𝓅𝑜𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝑔 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓈𝑒.”
Valentino speaks with sickening sarcasm. You look between the two, incredibly confused. Vox looks like he’s about to explode.
The lights flicker back on, and the door opens, Vox demanding his business partner leave.
The moth scowls at the both of you, before putting one set of hands on his hips, the other set of arms crossing across his chest. In the most sassy way possibly leave the two of you behind.
Vox waits for the elevator door to close before he can breath again. He’s muttering angrily to himself, one hand on either side of his screen as he tries not to blue screen.
You put your hand over his, his cold hand giving you a subtle shock of electricity as you touched him. You give him a concerned gaze, silently asking if he was okay.
Vox looks at you, shoulders relaxing just looking into your comforting eyes. Little bolts of electricity shoot out from the side of his screen as he tries to calm himself, his fans working overtime.
You set down the bag of treats you were bringing for him to hold his hands in your own. You give him a bright smile, concern not leaving your eyes.
You reassure him that whatever he had planned isn’t ruined. You could just pretend you didn’t know! You didn’t want this little run in to ruin your guys’ day.
You ramble on as he just stares at you, almost blankly, his screen fading from blue to a baby pink as he listened to you.
As you’re apologizing for causing trouble, he puts a hand up to stop your little speech.
He reaches into his pant pocket, pulling out a small halo shaped piece of jewelry. He holds your left hand in his own as he gets down on one knee in front of you.
I mean.. you knew he had a surprise planned, but seeing his actions didn’t fail to shock you.
He gives a little speech to you, stuttering and glitching over his words as he tries to explain himself.
For being a perfectionist overlord, this was one hell of a show.
He’s a blushing glitching mess, cursing to himself when he couldn’t find the exact words he wanted to say.
You grab the sides of his screen, looking him in the eyes and forcing him to meet your gaze. You’re saying yes before he can embarrass himself anymore.
He looks a bit shocked by your response, he can’t believe you said yes after that display he just put on. Before he can get the ring on your finger, he blue screens from shock and embarrassment.
You kind of chuckle and sit down beside your partner while you wait for him to reboot. Not like you could go anywhere with the elevator being stuck with the two of you inside. You do gently take the piece of jewlry, sliding it onto your finger and admiring its design.
Cuddling into Vox’s arm, you can’t help but smile brightly at the decorative piece snug on your ring finger.
It was perfect.
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autistichalsin · 6 months
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Astarion and Halsin's traumas were meant to be foils
When characters are foils, there are two components: first, there's a shared background, event, personality trait, etc. But how the characters act from then on are diametrically opposed, allowing us an insight into the various ways people can act or respond to one core "element". In this case, I would argue that Halsin and Astarion are meant to be foils in their responses to sexual slavery.
Both Astarion and Halsin were denied their freedom and agency, raped and abused. Both were very young when this happened; Astarion was in his 30s, which is before elves are considered to reach their majority, while Halsin's age wasn't specified, but he goes out of his way to mention "youth" many times. In other words- both were young enough for this to be a formative memory for them. Both carry deep traumas from their experiences. Both are incredibly physically attractive, and allude to or outright say that their looks played a part in their captivity; Astarion was used to seduce others for Cazador, while Halsin notes that his Drow captors "took an interest in him" and saw him "as a novelty"- most likely for his looks as much as for his race. Both were raped by people of high social status- Cazador a wealthy influential figure in Baldur's Gate, and Halsin's captors high-ranking Drow nobles. That is what they have in common.
But their responses to their traumas are complete opposites.
First, just the nature of how they express their traumas. Astarion is LOUD about it. He expresses it all openly; he is traumatized. And he knows he didn't deserve what happened to him.
Halsin buries it. He pretends it was no big deal. He victim-blames himself, saying it was his fault for being a "foolhardy young Druid" intent on seeing the Underdark.
Astarion despises Cazador; he wants revenge. He will do anything to get revenge on his abuser. This need for closure is the core of Astarion's entire arc, to the point that of all the scenarios I can think of where Astarion leaves the party, most of them involve his journey to kill Cazador.
Halsin has trauma bonds (also known as Stockholm Syndrome.) He speaks kindly of his captors even when describing their abuse. He says he feared for his life, but he "did some things that were less than necessary," making it sound like he was complicit in his own rape. He can't even bring himself to call them captors (except for one option in the new datamined dialogue), nor himself a sex slave; instead, he was something "between a guest, prisoner, and consort."
Astarion is (in most cases) ultimately allowed closure; he kills Cazador. In the bad path, he then joins the cycle of abuse by killing the other vampires; in good scenarios, he only kills Cazador, and then has a cathartic, tearful breakdown after.
Halsin never had (or seemed to want) that closure; he escaped while his captors were fighting another noble house, and his freedom was all he wanted. Whether his captors lived or not, he doesn't care.
Astarion is younger, and his trauma a shorter time ago, yet he has processed what happened more; he is both further ahead and further behind on his healing journey than Halsin.
Halsin is older, and his trauma longer ago, but he hasn't processed what happened to him; bouncing from trauma to trauma and being forced into a leadership role caused him to have to bury it. He is both further behind and further ahead on his healing journey than Astarion.
Astarion makes a point of avoiding intimacy; he only has a few exceptions with the player. (Ascended Astarion becomes much more confident, but that's a bit different.)
Halsin is incredibly sexually open. He enjoys sex of all kinds; he finds it comforting, the only way he can openly express his emotions after having to stay in control as Archdruid all the time.
Astarion dissociates during the Drow brothel orgy. He is miserable and uncomfortable, but doesn't regret it; he needed to take the step to explore his sexuality on his terms. Even if it triggered him, he still wanted the experience, and indeed, finding what one's triggers are is an important step for many survivors.
Halsin enjoys himself during the orgy, and even seems pleased after, but then he lets the cracks show, talking about how he was held as a slave. He enjoyed it during, but after, the thoughts started creeping in, as he was reminded of his captivity.
Astarion will respond to cruel player comments about Cazador with a massive hit in approval, and possibly breaking up with a romanced player, like when they say they have a kidnapping fantasy about him if he's kidnapped by the spawn.
Halsin, in the new dialogue options, doesn't seem to react that much even to cruel comments; when the player threatens to sell him back into slavery, all he has to say is, "you would be unwise to attempt it, trust me. In any case, the house of my captors is long-extinct." (Followed by him having an epiphany that they WERE his captors) He never gets angry at the player despite the absolute evil of this option; as with nearly every other mean thing the player says to him, he simply shrugs it off, clearly sad but brushing it off as always. Being the "bigger person", literally and metaphorically.
Astarion was left with scars all over his back, symbolizing how this is something he'll never break free from entirely.
Halsin was left with no scars, his only prominent one being from an unrelated incident, symbolizing how much work he puts in to hide his traumas.
It's understated, so a lot of players aren't going to think about it much because of this, but I think it's worth bringing up as a note on characterization!
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thelostmagicians · 6 months
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Love Comes In Threes | Steve Harrington
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Summary: Steve Harrington loves you, he just can't say it. [2k]
Fluff, comfort, slight angst, emotionally/verbally constipated Steve
The last time Steve Harrington said I love you to someone she ripped out his heart and left with the boy she told him not to worry about. 
He doesn’t remember the last time he said it to his parents, only that he stopped trying after he kept getting the dial tone in response to his feelings. 
So you weren’t exactly surprised or upset when he kissed you instead of saying it back 6 months into your relationship. 
_
The first time you said I love you to Steve it was a stormy evening. The both of you agreed to take things slow, wounds from the past still open and healing. But he just looked so handsome that night with his hair tousled in a perfect mess, red creeping on his cheeks from the cold air as the both of you raced towards his car trying to protect yourselves from the rain. He turned the heat on as he took your hands in his in an effort to warm you up. You tried to hold it in, you swear you did, but the love you had for him weighed down on you like an anchor and you thought if you didn’t tell him that second you were going to drown in your own feelings. 
“I love you,” you had whispered as he continued rubbing his fingers over yours. He paused his actions, shyly looking up. The red on his cheeks could no longer be blamed on the cold because now he was feeling as the sun was glowing warm in his heart. 
“You sure?” he asked you. Instead of answering you kissed him, hoping your lips would act as a spout and pour how you felt directly into him.   
You knew that like you, Steve had been hurt in the past so when he pulled you in for another kiss instead of saying it back you never questioned him. 
_
But that was a year ago. 
Almost two years into the relationship and Steve still hasn’t said I love you back. Every time he hears it fall from your lips, he’ll just give your hand a squeeze and carry on. You want to think it isn’t a big deal. You try to convince yourself that the L word isn’t necessary in your relationship, not when you share a home, a bed, secrets, and, hopefully, a family in the future. But no matter how hard you try to ignore your feelings it still leaves you disappointed when you see couples everywhere throw the three words around like they’re playing catch. It’s an endless cycle of disappointment for not hearing it, guilt for questioning the love Steve has for you, and frustration for why it mattered so much.
“As someone who Steve previously loved, do you think he actually loves me or is he just… settling?”
Your question makes Nancy freeze, the book she was previously trying to shove back in the shelf falls with a loud thud. She throws an apologetic smile at the librarian who shakes her head in disapproval. 
“What are you even talking about?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I brought it up. But I was just thinking, Steve loved you Nance. He told you he loved you. It’s been years and people still remember how broken he was after you left. Like if I left would he be just as sad or would he be okay.”
“Are you planning on leaving Steve?” Nancy stutters out.
“Well no…definitely no. It just makes me wonder if people can see that Steve loves me or if they think of me as the passerby keeping him from you while you were the one that got away. Whenever I tell someone I’m dating Steve all I ever hear is good on him for moving on, poor thing was a wreck after Nancy Wheeler left.”
Nancy picks up her stack of books as she leads you to the front desk, “Look what Steve and I had was over before we both even realized it was over. He loves you, I think… I think he loves you more than he could’ve ever loved me. And why do you even care what people think? These are the same people who think Robin is a sinner and that my parents are happily married.”
You roll your eyes in affection as you help her with her books. “I guess you’re right…” you trail off as your eye catches a magazine. In big bold letters you read 100 Different Signs Your Man Loves You.
“Oh please you can’t be serious.”
You give her a sheepish smile as you check out your rental and head back home. 
The magazine was utter trash. It had nothing, but surface value declarations that did nothing to soothe your worries. You stopped reading after sign 8 when it said Ladies if your man compliments your cooking, then it means he’s thinking about locking it down! Because remember a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!
Your Steve wasn’t like this. Your Steve was the kind of guy who knew you were having a bad day before you even had the chance to tell him. Your Steve was the kind of guy who would willingly wake up early and go out into snow just to heat up your car so you won’t have to drive in the cold. 
You sigh as you toss the magazine in the back of the car making a mental note to drop it off at the library on your way to pick up Robin for your girls day.
You honk twice in front of Vickie’s house before Robin comes bolting down the driveway, shoes in hand and trying to wrestle her jacket on. She gives you a wave before climbing in and greeting you with a tight hug. 
“I see your sleepover went well,” you tease. 
Before she can tease back Vickie knocks on the window prompting Robin to roll it down. 
“Hi, Vickie” you smirk up at her, eyes darting to the purple bruise under her ear that she poorly tried to conceal with makeup. 
She waves shyly, “Robin… I forgot to say,” she looks at you nervously, “Nevermind, just I’ll see you tomorrow.” She quickly kisses Robin’s cheek and scurries back inside. 
“So… what was that whole thing with Vickie about?” you try to ease in. 
Robin bumps her head on the window when you pull into a parking spot, “Oh Vickie? She’s still nervous about saying the L word publicly so that’s what she was doing.”
“At least she’s saying it privately,” you huff under your breath. 
“What was that?”
“Oh, nothing, I was just asking how she says it in public if she isn’t comfortable?”
“You know the cheek kisses she gave, that was it.”
You quickly put the shirt you’re holding back on the rack before looking at Robin confused. “What do you mean, is that your guys’ secret language?”
Robin laughs, pulling up a skirt to herself. “No silly, haven’t you ever heard the saying love comes in threes. When you touch someone three consecutive times it’s the equivalent of I. Love. You. Hence three cheek kisses equal an I love you.”
“That’s so cute,” you squeal, squeezing her arm and testing it out for yourself. 
She squeezes back instantly, “I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it, considering Steve’s the one that introduced me to it.”
Your steps falter behind her. “Hang on, Steve? My Steve, told you that?”
“Yeah, he said his Nana used to do it when they were kids or something like that. Told me before I told Vickie I loved her. Do you think this skirt is cute or should I save my money for a Madonna tape?”
Robin keeps rambling as you stay in place, your thoughts spiraling. Her confession makes you think about every single time Steve’s ever touched you. Every morning before you part ways how he pecks your lips once, twice, and a little longer the third time. How he squeezes your waist three times when he walks past you to get his favorite mug. How he reaches for your thigh, hand, anything he can get ahold of just to get three squeezes in. How he taps your arm in his sleep, again always in threes. You would stay up trying to figure out what song his taps represent before eventually drifting off yourself.   
This whole time you were waiting for Steve to verbally express his love when he was doing it quietly in his own way, more often than you ever did. 
You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel a tear slowly drip down your neck. 
“Hey what’s wrong are you okay?” Robin asks frantically. She drops her bags, hands squeezing your arms and eyes darting around for any signs of danger. 
You nod through your tears, “I’m okay, can we just go. I have to get home, I know it’s crazy but…”
Robin nods, grabbing your arm and leading you to the exit. 
The car ride back home is quiet, Robin didn’t even whisper a goodbye when she left simply settling with a quick peck to your forehead and soft smile. 
Your thoughts feel overwhelming like everything is going a mile a minute when you think about Steve. You think about your first date, your second, and your third and so on. How Steve ended every night with three of something. 
Your body is on autopilot as you make your way through the front door. Keys tossed in the bowl, coat hung up, and shoes thrown off. 
“Hey baby, you alright? Robin called asking if you were okay.” A concerned Steve comes into your vision, he quickly wipes his hands on the kitchen towel before flinging it over his shoulder and kissing you. Once, twice, and thrice.
Your hard stare makes him nervous, he’s never seen you like this before. “Honey,” he whispers out.
You take a deep breath in, “You never said I love you to me, not after I said it first, not even when you asked me to move in.” You pause trying to compose yourself while Steve avoids your gaze. “This whole time I thought you didn’t love me like you should, that you loved me, but you weren’t in love with me.”
Steve lifts his head up, baffled, he goes to argue until you lift your hand up signaling him to wait. 
“Robin told me something about how love comes in threes, today. How three taps, or any kind of touch in rapid succession three times is the equivalent of an I love you,” he finally meets your gaze as you slowly walk over to him, tugging on his waist to hold him as close as possible. “You told me you loved me on our first date, you told me the night we had our first kiss, you told me on our anniversary. And you tell me everyday. I don’t think there’s an hour that goes by without you telling me.”
Steve pulls you into his chest before gently lifting your head and kissing you three times. You giggle at the not-so-secret-anymore gesture. “I’m trying. I really am trying hard to say it, but I do. I really do. I want you to know how important you are, but I’m also scared. So I guess this was my way of saying it, reminding myself that when I do eventually say the words… you won’t leave.” 
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry for not seeing your love. For not understanding that even though you love me quietly you love me the most. Your love is in the tiny but grand gestures that I take for granted, but would miss deeply if I didn’t have it. I don’t need the words anymore Steve, I just need you because you love me more than I ever thought was possible and that’s enough. You’re enough.”
He squeezes your shoulder three times before whispering the words you’ve always wanted to hear from him. 
They say love comes in threes and your love with Steve may be quiet, but it’s everywhere. 
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celestialtarot11 · 10 days
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What do people underestimate about you when they meet you? 👀💐 PAC reading ☀️
Hi friends 💐☀️ it’s been a minute since I have made a post on here, but I am back! What do people underestimate about you when they meet you? Let me know below if it resonates with you, feel free to comment like and reblog ⬇️☺️
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Pile 1: Hi there pile 1’s!☀️🧘‍♀️💐 I feel like people underestimate your intelligence when they meet you. I feel you are the kind of person who observes a lot and doesn’t say much, until its necessary. A lot of people hate on the quiet kids but they’re the most dangerous because they know everything 😂 thats the vibe I’m getting. You’re quick witted, you’re quick with your comebacks and people don’t expect that. People expect you to be quiet, small minded and naive. But then they have a deep conversation with you and all of a sudden its like, “i was wrong to assume that of my pile 1, damn” and it hits them! What you say resonates because its like you get to the root of the matter and pull it out. Like weeds. You pull the truth out and say it. You guys have a powerful throat chakra and it’s something to be proud of! You don’t like illusions, lies and dishonesty. You prefer honesty, openness, and integrity! And lots of people aren’t able to match that so they end up feeling attacked, which was never your intention. Thank you pile 1’s for coming by 💗 I hope this resonated with you!
Pile 2: Hi there pile 2’s! Welcome to your reading 💐🧘‍♀️😻 People underestimate your resilience and bravery. I feel that some people see you as someone who is incapable of fighting, standing up or defending yourself. But you are the opposite! And people don’t expect that. They underestimate your ability to take on a challenge. Especially if you’ve been through a lot in your childhood, I’m feeling like family members perceived you as weak, gullible and naive. But you got up and healed and it took a lot of time, and you are still healing, but here you are setting boundaries and putting your foot down. This is something people do not expect. But then again im hearing “what did you expect? Did you expect me to really sit and take your bullshit?” On point!! You guys are quick, to the point, and do not hesitate in saying no or setting boundaries. For a long time you struggled with speaking up and it still may be a thing, which is understandable, and now you are healing enough to say no. People also may not expect you to be financially well off is something I’m getting. Your efficiency at saving money is something people don’t expect, or your savvy mindset when it comes to making 💰! People underestimate your resilience and your ability to take on a challenge. A true phenix from the ashes 💗 thank you pile 2’s for coming by! I hope this resonated. Please like comment and reblog for the support 💐☀️
Pile 3: Hi there pile 3! 💃🏻 This ones gonna be interesting 😂 in the best way possible! I feel that people underestimate your ability to leave. To say goodbye. To end situations and walk away. And move to a better place than you were before. People think you’ll stay in the mud, but you are the kind of person where if it gets uncomfortable you have no problem taking yourself out the pot. If the situation isn’t working, remove yourself from the equation is what im understanding 😂 love it! You guys don’t hesitate in moving to where you need to be and where your soul calls you, and right away you’ll know if someone is meant for you, or situation. People underestimate your ability to create abundance and move into prosperous places, but you manifest fast-and you move on to where you need to be with little to no issue. I feel like you guys know how to pack it up and make your decision, and the other person is shocked you thought about this without them. And your response is something of “I wasn’t aware I needed you in the first place to make this choice” 😂💗 I love it! You guys really know how you make an entrance and say goodbye 😻 thats the vibe im getting. People underestimate your presence in their life. The absence is felt when you’re really gone. Thank you pile 3’s! Please feel free to like comment and reblog to help this blog grow ☀️💐💃🏻
Thank ya’ll so much for reading 💐💗 it meant a lot to me! Your support is greatly appreciated. Enjoy the Aries full moon 🧘‍♀️
Paid Readings ⬇️💅🏻
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earthtooz · 10 months
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x : AFTERGLOW :*+゚ it's all me, just don't go !
in which: rin doesn't realise what he has until it's gone. now that you're gone, he will do anything to get you back.
warnings: 5.2k wc, ANGST TO FLUFF, breakup, toxic relationship towards the beginning, rin is really mean to gn!reader, hopeful ending, rin is devastatingly in love and pathetic, reader and rin are adults + he's a soccer player, other characters make an appearance and are friends with reader, mentions of throwing up, mentions of food, both reader and rin cry, just listen to taylor swift's 'afterglow'.
a/n: FINALLY, THIS FIC THAT I STARTED ALL THE WAY BACK IN APRIL IS DONE. GOODNESS. i have mixed feelings towards this piece, but i cannot withhold it from the world any longer. i'm going to forget i ever wrote this and move on! this literally took three drafts to finish.
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you don’t know when your relationship with itoshi rin began to crumble since it isn’t an event that can be pinpointed, not a date that can be marked in your calender, and most certainly not a reminder you can set in your phone. 
your friends keep telling you that you need to think back on it, that although it hurts, it was a necessary step in healing and getting over him. the more you reflect on it, however, your heart would only shatter into more fragments, with each one piercing you with the memories of better times. 
when did his expression turn sour? when did he begin looking at you with such disdain? when did he decide he didn’t need you anymore?
when did rin’s chips of insecurity wedge themselves between you?
the only memory that serves as an answer occurred at 7:00 pm one regular night. if you think hard enough, you can remember how the plush couch cushions sank under your weight, the clicks of the clock that had a second hand minutely too fast, and the sinking feeling of premonition in your gut. 
the latest rin ever comes back is 6:00, and if not, he would have let you known why he wasn’t home.
so where was he? the takeout you bought for dinner is getting cold and your stomach is growing louder and more impatient by the second. you didn’t want to eat without him though since it’s something you did daily; eating together as a way of debriefing and letting go of the stress that the day brought.
after an onslaught of unanswered phone calls from you, at 7:15, rin merely texts a ‘won’t be home for a while. eat without me’, and although rin was naturally curt and straightforward, the text had a depravity of… him, somehow. either way, his message causes a swirl of emotions in your stomach; unpleasant ones that begin to grow a nauseous shade of green.
you put rin’s takeaway in the fridge regardless, sending him a quick text telling him to be safe and that you’ll see him soon. 
he probably got caught up with something. you’re sure it’ll be fine. 
you shouldn’t have ignored that sinking feeling of premonition. shouldn’t have pushed down the unease swirling in your stomach when shutting the door to the refrigerator before stalking over to the kitchen island with slow steps as you prepare to eat in silence. no one to keep you company except your own thoughts and the ghost of rin’s presence.
and when rin does come home almost two hours later, he stills calls your name as usual, you still go to him as usual, he greets you with a tired smile as usual, you hug him as usual, he doesn’t kiss the top of your forehead, though. you ignore it, pushing your thoughts aside because he was home. he finally came back. you’ll wake up tomorrow and this uneasy feeling will sort itself out.
except it doesn’t.  
from that night onwards, rin changes. slowly, but surely, the cracks of change manifest in your relationship and through it all, you choose to cast a blind eye, plastering over it with sightless belief in your love. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
the queasy feeling in your gut never stills. it fades at times when your mind is busy with other things, but it inevitably gets drawn back into the whirlpool of concern regarding your lover- or, rather, rin.
you think you’re still in a relationship, but you don’t really know anymore. you haven’t seen him in a while. the only indication of his existence that you get are the stray bowls he leaves on the kitchen counter whenever he’s done eating, the lessening weight of his protein powder containers, and the decrease of various food items from the fridge that you restock here and there.
it feels like you’re living with a ghost.
some nights, when it gets the most lonely, your mind betrays you, completely eliminating any and all trust you had in rin. 
you wonder if there’s another person. another lover that he feels more passionately for. another lover that his heart had gravitated towards, abandoning yours in the process. perhaps that is the explanation behind his absence. 
but no evidence points towards that conclusion. there has been no suspicious deduction of bills from his bank statement that would suggest infidelity, his location is constantly at the sports stadium whenever you check, and there are no traces of a lover on him- not even you. 
it is not totally blasphemous to assume that itoshi rin wouldn’t be engrossed in soccer to the point that he’d spend unhealthy and obsessive hours into honing his abilities, but it feels a little traitorous that he could forget about life outside of the sport. it isn’t just you he’s neglecting. his mother and father have been constantly asking when he’ll come over to spend some time together, his teammates have been asking you about rin’s whereabouts and when he’ll be free and what’s worse is that you never know how to answer every time. 
it’s embarrassing to be seen as a lover that is forgettable enough for rin to dismiss, so you lie and lie and lie, telling everyone that you’ll tell them later, that he’s fine and just busy, and you lie to yourself. you tell yourself that rin will be home soon so you two can talk about it, and then everything will return to normal.
(your reflection looks through your facade, disheartened and worried.)
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“why are you late?” 
you jump at the voice that greets you when you step foot in the apartment and the sight before you causes you to wonder just how tired you feel, because rin is in your apartment, where he’s meant to be, for once. not only that, but he’s leaning against the couch, adorned in loungewear and slippers, and the sight is too foreignly domestic for your comprehension. 
coming home to a house with someone there feels nice. 
he’s lost a little bit of muscle and fat, but his frame is still as intimidating; shoulders broad and built, just the faintest indicator into the athletic body he’s developed over the years. his hair is a little longer too. 
“oh, rin, hi.” you mutter, surprise evident in your tone.
“hello.”
“since i got a promotion,” you respond simply. rin makes no move to approach you, no initiative to take your bag and put it on the couch for you. instead, he stays rooted in his position leaning against the couch, arms crossed.
the air around him feels hostile, and suddenly you’re almost afraid to speak. “and does that promotion change your work hours or something?”
(he doesn’t congratulate or celebrate your achievement.)
“i work with flexible hours now but the office is further and the commute is so bothersome.”
rin uncrosses his arms with a thoughtful hum, gaze glued to the floor, mind occupied. you approach him slowly, pulling your bag off your shoulder and setting it in the entrance near the genkan with a thud, the sound sobering to him.
when he looks back up, you don’t want to acknowledge the emptiness in his icy eyes, barren of the usual determination that defined itoshi rin. but if you knew that that day would be the beginning of the end, perhaps you would have done something about it.
when you opened your arms for him, perhaps you would have hugged him a little tighter, a little longer, strained all the stress out of his shoulders.
perhaps you would have protected him a little harder from the cruelties of his own mind; shown him that the world was not out to get him, and that there was a place for people like him in the world (people who can’t see their own value and instead, berate themselves for their waning self-worth because they cannot see the light behind them).
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“i’m going to shower,” rin declares once the moment both of you step in the safety of your shared home.
“no, you’re not! not before we talk,” you demand, hurriedly taking off your shoes so you can face him before he slips out of your grasp. the dark-haired turns to look at you with an unamused expression, the way tonight seemed to drag on obviously taking a toll on him.
“you’re gonna stop me from taking a shower, really?”
“yes because what the fuck was going on with you tonight?”
he narrows his eyes into slits, the pure intimidation that rin naturally emanates almost threatening you into submission. however, for the humiliation you’ve had to endure tonight, you won’t budge.
“i don’t understand,” rin says monotonously. you roll your eyes.
“you don’t understand? what’s that supposed to mean?”
“i don’t know what you’re getting mad over.”
“the fact that you didn’t even try to talk to me- let alone look at me, once this entire night?”
your partner looks away, crossing his arms over his chest. “that’s an exaggeration,” he huffs.
“no it’s not!” you recall the looks of pity sent your way when rin sat beside you unmoving and unresponsive to any conversation you tried to make. “would it have killed to show you some sort of interest?”
“would it kill you to not receive attention for one night?” he retaliates. 
“it’s not about that-”
“really? sure feels like it. i don’t have time to shower you with all my attention, y/n, there are other things i have to do.” 
there are a million things you want to say to rin, a million emotions that you have felt whilst he’s been absent, a million examples of how he’s been leaving you behind and how you’re now fed up of keeping these millions to yourself. yet, not a word leaves you, too stunned by the stranger in front of you to voice it all out. 
rin, however, takes your silence as defeat and turns to leave.
“you’re being dramatic. i’m going to shower before i waste anymore time with this lukewarm conversation.” 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
the night your relationship officially fell apart is one you still remember vividly, because it only happened a few days ago.
in your memory, the night was nearing 9pm, yet rin had still not come home. 
your heart takes you to him because as much as your relationship with him has caused you nothing but pain recently, you know itoshi rin. you know him because you’re soulmates and where he goes, there’s a fragment of your heart that follows. 
the drive to the practice pitch is nothing but heavy. heavy with your anticipation and stress, you feel your chest constrict and tighten, especially when you pull up into the very empty parking lot. 
“rin!” you shout for the fifth time and only then, does the dark-haired look up at you from where he’s doing dribbling drills. he almost trips over the ball from your interruption. 
“wha- oh,” he turns away just before you can catch the roll of his eyes, the snarl of frustration (one that lovers should never bare at each other). “what do you want?”
you pause a few feet away from him, utterly gobsmacked with the attitude your partner was showing you. after driving all this way, the least you’d want is a little concern, but alas.
“it’s time to go,” you stand your ground. “i’m here to pick you up.”
“yeah, right, i’m not going home.”
“that’s ridiculous! are you not tired?”
“no.”
“rin. c’mon, that’s enough, you need to rest.”
“what the fuck do you know about being enough?” he asks.
the silence is deafening and most hurtful. 
you stammer out the only response you can, “wh-what?”
he doesn’t give you anything. unrelenting, he is. rin has always been the embodiment of stubbornness served cold. not finding much productivity in his silence, you continue speaking with a wavering voice. “let’s go home. please, you shouldn’t be working yourself like this-”
“-leave me the fuck alone!” he finally comes undone. “can’t you see that i don’t have time to deal with headaches like you?”
the thread keeps unravelling.
“fucking lukewarm. i can’t deal with this right now, i don’t need you here.”
“fine,” you murmur. rin has his back turned against you and he prepares himself to kick another ball. “i’ll leave then since you don’t need me.”
when rin arrives home that night, he reasons the unease churning in his stomach on the physical exertion of practice as nothing is out of place. the apartment is as kept and tidy as it typically is, the lights are off because you’ve gone to bed, and there is a meal on the kitchen counter sealed by plastic wrap.
he won’t eat it because he’ll want to throw up otherwise, so rin tucks it neatly into the fridge, not thinking twice about the emptiness on the shelves, right where your favourite drinks are normally kept. 
the athlete washes up quickly and efficiently, a good night’s rest sounding too appealing for his battered body that felt as heavy as lead. 
that night, sleep takes rin and lulls him into a temporary sanctuary, protecting him from the reality that he would wake up to. because when morning comes, he will turn and find that you are not beside him like he expects you to be. your side of the bed is untouched, devoid of any warmth or indicator that you were there.
he checks the bathroom- you’re not there. he calls your name in the hallway- you don’t respond. he scans the kitchen, the study, the living room, and finds nothing but loneliness in each room. there’s no text from you indicating that you were elsewhere.
you’ll return, though. rin’s sure of it.
except you don’t, the hours pass by with rin anticipating your return, and his confidence slowly dwindles with each minute. by the time it’s been 24 hours since he last saw you, his patience runs thin. finding your contact, rin presses the ‘call’ button and is surprised that it does not go through, stopping him after only one ring when an automated voice says ‘this caller is unavailable’. 
the dark-haired stares at your contact in contempt, furrowing his eyebrows when all of his following attempts receive the same treatment, but rin continues stubbornly because you couldn’t have blocked him, right?
was it because of what he said? he didn’t mean it, he didn’t mean to blow up on you like that- how is he supposed to say sorry if he can’t even reach you?
checking his private accounts on various social media, he sees that you’ve blocked him there too. running in to the master bedroom and checking the closet, half of your clothes are missing, and the bag you keep on the shelf is missing too. the bathroom lacks some of your products, your laptop and various chargers are gone from your study space, and the heaviness of your absence hits itoshi rin like a train.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
you never did come around to collect your stuff. rin finds a little bit of pain in that fact.
he feels like a ghost, haunted by the trinkets of you that remain littered around his apartment. he doesn't have the heart to throw them out, not when they're the closest thing to you he can get.
a few times rin sees you in his dreams. a few times he sees you in his nightmares, looking completely hurt and run-down by his recklessness and neglect, but most mornings he wakes up feeling emptier, no one to turn to on your side on the bed. not anymore. there’s no body to hold when he needs it most, there’s no one to keep him company whilst he eats dinner, there’s no love. not since the day you left.
you, on the other hand, find it odd to live life without a second person in the periphery. you thought rin was the one for you, you never had any thoughts about what life could be without him because you were certain that it would be him that you spent the rest of your years with, so learning to accommodate without him is gnawing you away, the little bug of loneliness festing on your newfound independence. 
you’re seated on the floor of your best friend’s living room when reo texts one day, interrupting your apartment hunt.
reo: Are you still coming to my party?
you scrunch your eyebrows at the text, unknowing of where it was coming from.
y/n: not anymore. what’s up?
reo: Why not :( reo: Please it’d be so fun
y/n: don’t you know that rin and i broke up?
reo: Ok but he’s definitely not coming reo: It’s Rin, he doesn’t have a life so you’re fine. Pls say you’ll come
reo: Plus he’s been all mopey ever since so I don’t think he’s in a party mood
you dutifully ignore the last part of reo’s statement. after a little more coaxing, he finally manages to get you to agree to come, but not without a feeling of apprehension settling in your gut. still, it would be a shame to miss out on an invitation from a friend because of it. 
besides, reo’s bargain of offering to buy your outfit was too tempting to let go. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“practice was rough,” bachira murmurs, flopping on the sides of the soccer field with a sigh. his sweat causes his hair and clothes to cling to his skin, and isagi takes a seat on the bench beside his best friend, tossing the dual-tone haired his water bottle.
wiping the sweat off his forehead, isagi agrees with a hum. “i know. i just want to go home.”
“i don’t know how rin does this, staying overtime and all of that.”
“he’s insane. it only got worse after his breakup and everything.”
bachira frowns, looking over to where the dark-haired in question is standing. “i feel bad for rin-rin, seems like he’s not taking it well at all.”
a beat of silence passes before bachira speaks again. “you know y/n’s coming to reo’s party this weekend?” 
the black-haired wipes his mouth before setting the water bottle down. “really?”
“yeah. reo told me.”
“that’s nice, it’s been a while since we’ve seen y/n so it’d be nice to catch up.”
“i wonder if rin knows.”
“i doubt it,” isagi reassures, “he hardly goes to parties like the one reo’s throwing.”
“maybe that’s why y/n agreed in the first place.”
“probably.”
a cold voice suddenly cuts the two from their conversation “y/n’s going to reo’s party?” 
isagi feels his blood cool over before looking up. there, stands itoshi rin, who has a frazzled, yet equally determined look in his eyes, one that isagi has not seen in a while (not since you left). “what? no! where did you hear that from?” 
bachira laughs nervously, “you’re hearing things, rin-rin!
but they are soccer players, not actors or professional liars. “shut the fuck up, asshats. y/n’s going to reo’s party this weekend?”
the two exchange a look and their silence is the only answer rin needs. 
“hold on, you’re not thinking of going, are you?” isagi asks, accepting defeat and now switching tactics.
“why wouldn’t i? my partne-” he pauses. “y/n is gonna be there.”
“yes but-”
“-you can’t stop me from going, so don’t even think about it.”
without another word, rin is gone, stalking away with a scary determination that was previously dormant. 
“what did we just do?” bachira mumbles. “should we tell y/n?” 
“nah.”
“agreed.”
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
you should have never come to this party.
how stupid and foolish of you, but how utterly cruel of the universe to let you hurt like this, to let the same pain that has walked all over you for the past few months return; this time ramming into you with the ferocity of a bull, knocking the air out of your lungs
“y/n!” comes the dreaded call of your name. you walk a little faster, breaking into an-almost sprint.
“y/n!” 
“for fucks sake- y/n!” this cry of your name is broken, rasped and pathetic, and your chests clenches from how pained it sounds. like a howl from an injured wolf, it is broken enough for you to pity it, luring you into a trap that will inevitably end in chunks being torn from your heart, but you don’t have much left to spare, so you keep running, no matter how badly you want to give in.
except it’s not enough to deter rin, nothing ever be when there’s a goal in sight, especially one so close that he can taste it.
“y/n, please, i need to talk to-”
“-go away, rin!” you cut him off, hugging yourself tighter to shield yourself against the cold and rin’s pleas from piercing you. 
“not until you listen to me!”
fury powers you, igniting you with the courage to turn around and finally face him. you don’t look him in the eye, keeping your gaze elsewhere, but he shuts up nevertheless, awestruck by finally being able to see you face-to-face after being so long away from you. all words die on his throat, withering away to nothing as his eyes slightly widen in shock.
you’re just as beautiful as the day you left; perhaps even more so.
rin wonders if your radiancy was birthed by his absence, and if the answer is ‘yes’, he might wither away on the spot.
“it’s always about you isn’t it?” you shout. “always about what you want and never about what others want. you said you wanted me to leave, so i did! what more could i possibly give?” 
he gulps, utterly entranced as his heart makes itself known in his chest, racing wildly and vividly; the first indication that it was alive and hadn’t been replaced by a gaping hole in your absence. he hasn’t felt this human since you left. 
“i didn’t mean for you to actually leave,” rin confesses shakily. 
“well, it didn’t seem like you wanted me to stay either.”
“no, that’s not-” he falters. “it’s… not the same without you.”
you hug yourself tighter. “i don’t believe you, you’re just saying that now that there’s nobody to warm your bed.”
“no, it’s not like that- i don’t like living without you,” the athlete continues, admitting something so heavy with such airiness.
“you can’t just say that after so long. not when you’ve been living without me months before we broke up.”
there are a million and one things that rin wants to say to you, but none of them break through the whirlwind that is his thoughts, rattling around in his brain on overdrive and overwhelming him with the intensity of them all. one thing he knows for sure is that you are the single muse behind all of them, the only thing that is keeping him sane amongst the flurry of disturbances.
then, you shiver from the chilly breeze of the night, and the whirlwind is silenced into oblivion to awaken a dormant instinct of his instead. one that commands him to fulfil a duty that he’s not inclined to do anymore.
quickly, rin takes off his jacket and holds it out to you, as if expecting you to take it. 
he drops it when you don’t, hope dwindling in his stomach.
swallowing weakly, he then asks “would you ever give me a second chance?”
“you’ll hurt me again,” you glance away, the street lamps highlighting the melancholy in your profile as rin observes you closely. his eyes outline the curves of your face, each divet and slope that he used to trace with his hands now out of his reach. “you take and you take, but you never give and i’m so tired of it.”
“don’t say that,” he pleads, voice barely louder than a whisper as the dark-haired takes a heavy step towards you. “you’ll break my heart.”
“i shouldn’t love you anymore, you’re bad for me.”
“then i’ll be good- i’ll become whatever you want me to be-”
“-we won’t work like that.”
“we’ll work as long as i’m yours again, just, let me fix us, i’ll do whatever it takes. i’m not giving up like this.” 
the first tear makes herself known and paths the way for your downfall like a tsunami, washing away whatever you had built up during your time away from itoshi rin; the good and the bad. the hurt and the healing, all undone by a singular, stray tear. in your vision, he becomes nothing but a blur, a kaleidoscope of colours that you once loved.
a kaleidoscope of colours that you still love, much to the chagrin of your broken heart. 
a hand wraps around your wrist, a warm shackle that grounds you to rin like he’s your lifeline. no matter how bad you want to push him away, something in you will always bend to him. 
“don’t cry,” he pleads, voice airy and breathy. “i’m sorry, please don’t cry.”
please don’t cry because of me.
“i don’t want to be with you if it means i need to go through all of that again.” you whisper, slipping out of his grasp like sand and wiping away your own tears, rejecting his callous and prickly touch. 
rin’s world dims as panic seizes his throat. “please don’t say that, you don’t mean it.”
“i do though. you left me first, don’t you know?” 
“-i do.”
“and now i’m not yours to care about anymore-”
“i know, i know,” words are merely spilling out of his mouth without much purpose at this point, because he’ll do anything just to delay you leaving, to push back the possibility of you turning around and never seeing you again. why did he have to break who he loved so much? 
still, he pleads for another chance, desperation shining in his eyes as pure longing fills him. you have always been too good to him, he knows, but like the tumultuous tides and their inability to stray too far from the shore, rin will come back to you with his undying devotion. 
even if he thinks you should find someone better than him, that you should be adored by someone who could love you so much better, he can’t let go. to let you go is to let go the one good thing that came to him in life, 
you exhale shakily. “we’ve loved each other for too long.” 
“what do you mean?” he stutters, eyes widening helplessly. 
“i have loved you too much for too long, rin,” you choke, “there has to be an end to us somewhere in sight- you need to accept that.”
“no,” his look of absolute devastation causes a physical recoil in your stomach. “no- not long enough, it’ll never be enough, fuck- even forever won’t be long enough, i can’t let you go like that.”
he crosses the distance between you in the blink of an eye. you can’t see him clearly under the dim light of the night, but you can feel him, so close and so overwhelming, but so cold as his hands come to grasp yours. his grip is firm, not enough to hurt, but enough for you to feel his determination. 
tears dance along his lashline. 
“please, tell me you’re still mine,” begs the dark-haired. rin’s tears are diamonds, in which they are precious, but they also crumble into a precious waterfall that rolls down his cheeks, tempting you towards his beautiful ruination. 
words continue to tumble out of him, each one sharpened to pierce your defences. “tell me that we’ll be fine, that i’m all you want, please. i’m so fucking sorry for hurting you, but please don’t leave me. 
i’ll fix us, i’ll become everything you need, i’ll be good.”
the dark-haired’s hands find their way to your face, cupping each side of your jaw with a scary gentleness; one that you’d never expect from someone as ragged as itoshi rin. 
“i love you,” he declares, so raw, so full of passion that it makes you sick. the rin you know never lets his heart on his sleeve like this. 
you cave. “how will you fix us?” 
slowly. he’ll rebuild everything that you have given him.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
first, rin takes you out on dates again. calls you beautiful and really means it.
second, rin leaves practice at regular times, and listens when you tell him that he needs to take care of himself. because for you, he will. 
third, rin picks you up from work. his practice ends a little earlier than your job, so he always goes the extra mile to be there for you at the end of the day. even if you tell him that he doesn’t need to go out of his way to do so, he’d rather see you get home safe than only receiving a mere text of confirmation. 
plus, it gives rin more time with you.
fourth, rin sends you regular gifts. from bouquets, to random items that he just knows you’d like, they all get left at your door at the best times. 
fifth, rin lets you set the pace. you wanted things to go slow so that you two didn’t have to force anything back in place. no point recreating something that’s in the past, you reasoned, so might as well try again.
sixth, rin takes his time in welcoming you back into his space. it’s a few months after you two have reconciled, and majority of your items are back where they belong (you poked fun at him for not being able to throw away the stuff you did leave, and he just mumbled something indecipherable, all embarrassed, before moving on). the life has been restored in his apartment, now filled with more remnants of you loitering around his space: your various chargers and laptop, your products, your clothes, they all sit beside his things like that’s where they are meant to be.
and you are back in his arms, because it is where you are meant to be (more for his sake than yours).
rin stirs awake one morning under the gentle light of the morning sun and you’re there beside him, occupying the space that he has left devastatingly empty. mattress still curved to your frame as he never dared infiltrate it, in hopes that you would return.
now that you have, you feel too warm, too familiar, too unreal that he wonders if you’re just another dream of his. 
then, you stir, and press yourself closer against his chest, face to face with the heart that only beats for you.
a stray tear rolls down rin’s face; a salvation for the utter relief he feels, as well as the overwhelming amount of adoration that he stores for you. his ‘i love you’ is sweeter than the chirping of the birds outside, and certainly more meaningful as he wraps more of himself around your sleeping figure, hoping to attach all of him to all of you. 
you’re home. he won’t let you leave again.
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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deadsetobsessions · 3 months
Text
AU of Gotham! Tim Drake! Danny where he doesn’t know the universe he was reincarnated into.
“Robin!” Batman barked. Tim sighed, loudly. Batman twitched.
“What is it, B?”
“Drills. Again.”
Tim rolled his eyes but moved to obey. Speaking to B these days was like speaking to a rather boorish caveman. Simple grunts and single word sentences. It didn't use to be like this but B was loosing his grip on his humanity and it’s Tim’s job to bring it back.
It’s hilarious because he’s the least human of them all. It was odd, juggling his duties as Danny Gotham, his responsibilities as Tim, and his workload as Bruce’s shiny new Robin. Somehow he made it work.
Yeah, sometimes B’s hands are heavy when they’re training. Sometimes he forgets Danny’s name (or at least his human name) and calls for Jason instead. Sometimes, he smells more like booze and less like Bruce.
Danny could handle it. Even if his core quivers with grief. He wished he didn’t have to, but he could and will handle whatever he needs to for his Knight to regain himself. But fuck, that doesn’t mean taking his self destructive habits lying down. He might be Tim right now, but as far as Batman knew, Tim was here on the orders of
“B.”
“Hm.”
Oh, a neutral grunt! I see we’ve upgraded to grunts instead of arm flapping! Holy detective, Batman! Aren’t I glad I learned to speak cave man? Wow! Tim mocked, in his head.
“You’re heading to bed when I’m done with this set,” Tim said.
“This case isn’t done,” Batman growled. Ancients, it was like speaking to a large chihuahua-toddler hybrid. All the barking, all the growling, and all the petulance of a child makes the entirety of how his Knight acted on a good day these days.
“That wasn’t a suggestion,” Tim shot back, sore arms and legs and everything working through the set. Thank the ancients for his healing, or else Tim might actually be dying.
“You don’t give me orders, Robin.”
“No, but Gotham does.” He would know, considering Tim was Gotham.
The head full of greasy- ew, take a shower, B!- hair swiveled towards him.
“You have a direct line to Gotham?”
Tim settled into the final forms of the night. “Gotham sent me. I thought we went over this.”
A beat of silence.
Batman returned to clacking away at the computer. Tim finished his set in relative peace. He moved to the cool down stretches while Batman sulked in front of his computer like a five year old.
“I’m done.” He said, crossing his arms.
“Hm.”
“That means you’re done, too.”
“I’m not tired.”
Tim rolled his eyes so hard, he thinks he saw the light. Oh, wait, that’s just Bruce’s last brain cell dying.
“You’re heading to bed. Good luck finding actual crime tomorrow, if you stay up.”
Batman stilled, because he knows Gotham would back Tim up on the threat. Considering the time sensitivity of some of these cases, Gotham’s anger is not something he could risk.
Tim patted himself on the back for effectively playing the good cop and the bad cop on his own. Except ACAB for life because they’re vigilantes and the GCPD as a whole (with exceptions) sucks ass.
He watched as Batman- as Bruce- reluctantly powered down the Bat-Computer. As he stood up, Tim wrinkled his nose.
“Never mind. You take a shower first. I’ll text Alfred.”
“Not necessary.”
“Okay, then you can explain to Gotham why you’re traipsing through his city looking a starved rat and smelling like you took a joy ride in Killer Croc’s excrement. Oh, wait.” Tim snapped, just about done being patient today. Tim whipped out his phone, texting Alfred with one hand and pointing towards the staircase with the other.
“Shower above ground, you weird little mole rat. No cave water for you.”
Bruce makes a weird offended grunt.
“I literally don’t care if you have to walk up to your room to shower in your boxers, B. Most of Gotham’s people don’t have access to a shower, let alone a million dollar bathroom. Fucking use your actual bathroom instead of hosing off.”
And with that, Batman and Bruce Wayne moved to the tune of a pre-teen, who was also, unknowingly to him, the spirit of his City.
——
“Go home.”
Tim smiled sweetly. Bruce paled. The scary, Gotham loved child patted Bruce’s hand as he sat beside Bruce’s bed.
“Sleep, before I make you.”
Bruce slammed his eyelids shut, anything to not look at Tim’s malicious looking eyes, and allowed himself- nay, forced himself- to rest for the first time in weeks since Jason died.
As Bruce’s dumb self drifted off to dreamland, Tim muttered, “Wuss.”
He settled himself into the chair, napping lightly to make sure Bruce doesn’t sneak out to work when he’s gone.
Alfred snapped a quick picture.
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villainousauthor · 3 months
Text
The hero wrinkles their nose at smell of antiseptic wipes, at the cold feel against their skin, as the villain prepares to draw more blood. They've lost count how many vials Villain has taken at this point.
Hero winces, trying to flinch away at the inevitable sharp pinch, and Villain digs their fingers into their arm some more. They press hard, cold hands keeping them still. "If I mess up, I'll have to stick you again." They warn, voice level. Paper crinkles under where Hero sits, the soft sound filling the silence.
Hero keeps their gaze downward, the bright florescent lights over head giving them a headache. You think with how long they've been here, they would have gotten used to the ugly, artificial glare, but they miss the sun.
They look up at Villain through their lashes, who's currently too focused on their current task to notice, eyebrows pinched together as they seem deep in thought.
"I doubt you're even certified to be drawing blood in the first place." Hero ribs, voice quiet, the words light but the humor just quite not there.
Villain snorts, as they finish and pull the IV out gently. "I've seemed to be able to do it fine all these weeks." They apply the cotton bandage to the area, securing it in place, though it's honestly not necessary, the small wound already likely healed.
Hero knows they shouldn't be trying to make Villain laugh, or trying to lighten the tense air that surrounds their every interaction. They should be attempting to escape, should be fighting tooth and nail against the strange experiments their arch nemesis insists on trying, but so many failed escapes and so many weeks without the presence of any other person has them weak for any human contact they can get.
They've almost begun to mistake the way Villain grabs their arm when taking blood, the way Villain's cold hand holds their face still when swabbing their mouth, the way they stand close when checking their vitals, as misplaced forms of affection.
It's pure delusion, Hero knows this, but they crave another persons touch so much they can almost believe it. Thinking about it too much makes their head hurt more than even the obnoxious overhead lights do.
Villain takes their silence as a sign to continue speaking. "Soon enough, I'll find the secret behind how your regenerative abilities work and then I'll be unstoppable." They say cleaning up, and placing the three tubes of blood they took on the tray to their left. Hero's head swirls as they watch the swishing of the dark red liquid.
Facing them again, still standing close, Villain's eyes finally meet Hero's and their voice softens slightly when they say this next part. "I won't have to poke and prod you so much when I do." Their voice is gentle enough that Hero wants to believe them, to trust them.
Hero licks their dry lips, voice cracking slightly. "Will...will you finally let me go once you do?" The question Hero has been avoiding asking this whole time.
The question gives Villain pause, as they seem to consider it for a moment. They step closer, placing their hands on either side of where Hero sits, bracketing them in. "I could...I probably should.." Villain's voice is whisper quiet as they stand inches away, breath fanning over Hero's ear.
"But I think prefer keeping you for myself."
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allfearstofallto · 2 months
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The way you write yandere childe makes me literally salivate omg <333 would you mind doing any of A, C, D, H, N, O, W, or Z for him? I hope you don’t feel pressured to write all or any if you don’t want to 😭
No pressure at all friend!! I love writing for Childe!! Trust me! I've been waiting for someone to ask for him!!!
TW: Dub/Non-Con, NSFW, Violence against reaader
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Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
Childe always has cold hands. You know this, because his hands are always on you. There isn't a moment where Childe is near you where he's not touching you.
It could be something as simple as interlocking his fingers with yours or going as far to force kisses upon you, ones where it feels like he's trying to swallow you whole with his tongue down your throat.
He says he just can't keep his hands off of you and that truly does seem to be the case. His cold fingers always find a way to snake themselves onto some part of your body. A sign of affection yes, but also a warning.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
He took you because he loves you and wants you near, but Childe isn't against matching the energy you give him. He's playful at heart, after all, but even that has it's limits.
Being soft towards you is his original goal, he wants to pamper you and adore you while you're less than a few feet away. But shoot him glares or fight him off? He can do the same, the only difference is, he's stronger.
He knows that physical wounds will always heal, but that words last forever, so even when he hurts you, he tells you how much he still loves and cares about you. He's only doing this because you can't seem to stop acting up.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
Childe's presence alone is against your will. He knows that, so he makes sure to always be near you. Who would've thought that such an annoying man could actually be a Fatui harbinger?
Around every corner, behind every door, it seems like he's even in every room. Childe is always there, even when you don't want him to be. He does many things that you hate, kissing you, hugging you, forcing his affection onto you whenever he pleases, but the worst thing he does is be there.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
It was just a smile. That's what you told him, but that's what he refused to believe.
You smiled at the man with the funny hat. One of Childe's coworkers if you remember correctly. That man shot you a glare and out of pure nerves you smiled back, causing him to look away with his arms crossed. A harmless interaction to you, but one that left your husband fuming.
You were called lots of things that night, slut, bitch, whore. You never smile at him, he'd yell as he fucked you with your face forced against the snowy ground. Your weren't even given the courtesy of a warm bed not when Childe was angry.
You begged him to at least take you indoors. The snow was burning your skin and worst of all, you were embarrassed that someone would see you, but he just scoffed and left another stinging slap on your already sore ass. A whore like you wants to be seen.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
Punishments from Childe can either be the most painful thing you've ever experienced, or a joke made to embarrass you. It honestly just depends on what you did and most importantly, how he's feeling.
You've gotten some of the normal ones. Things like spankings and even a version of “time out” where he made you sit in a corner and think on what you did. But you've also been starved for a week with nothing, but water. Sitting at the dinner table, you'd watch him eat his meal, savoring every bite, while your stomach aches from the hunger pains. You could beg, but Childe typically stood true to his words.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
As many as he deems necessary. There are the obvious ones, like not being allowed to leave without his permission, eating your meals with him, sharing your bed with him, things that from the outside looking in seem normal, but are actually just ways for him to have more control over you.
But there are other things he does, things that are a bit more strange. He doesn't like the idea of you even gazing at another man, so all the staff are female. You're dressed to appeal to him, so you wear what he wants you to. Usually things that are revealing in nature, showing off your thighs, chest, and midriff.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
The simple answer is yes. And without hesitance too. Childe is strong. Stronger than he looks and much stronger than his carefree attitude would lead most to believe. Despite his strength, he isn't scared or worried about hurting you.
Be careful of how hard you fight, because he fights back harder. He won't hit you back because he wants to, but because he has to. He has to show you that you can't always get your way, that you can't just expect him to treat you with kindness, when you're not doing the same to him.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
Not intentionally, but it does happen. After trying and failing so many times, after hurting you so much, losing yourself day after day, the light in your eyes is finally gone.
It's one of the only things he regrets. He still has you there, but you're hollow on the inside. One day you're there, the next you're just gone. He does everything in his power to completely bring you back, but he's met with dry, whispery responses from you. He knows that you're truly gone when he tempts you with an easy escape, an open door that you could walk out of with no hassle. He left, giving you the opportunity to just waltz out without him to stop you. But when he comes back, you're still there. And that door is still wide open.
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ajortga · 2 months
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in what way?
pairing: tara carpenter x fem reader
summary: your ex girlfriend begins to regret leaving you when all she wanted to do was protect you. maybe she broke you more than she thought.
word count: 900+
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based off request! i came across a reblog that said that i needed to make more tara fluff.. maybe next story?..
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hello my love, I would like to know if you could do a one shot based on the song shut up my moms calling by hotel ugly, Tara x fem reader pls🙏
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I just wanna rewind, I haven’t seen you in a long time
Ever since the ghostface incidents that fortunately, Tara has survived, she’s been avoiding you.
I mean, she knew you would never be ghostface, but whenever she was near you now she just felt like she shouldn’t. 
She shouldn’t be spending time with you when she was always a pain in the ass over ghostface. She still had that trauma that she knew a band-aid wouldn’t fix, her inner and outer scars may never heal. 
But she also knew she shouldn’t be avoiding you when you took a stab in your arm for her, you protected her, but you weren’t one of the core 4. What if you ended up like Anika? What if she failed to catch you when you fell? She was scared because she knew that if you ever died or even got a scratch on you, she wouldn’t be able to see the end of it. Nightmares haunted her every time she closed her eyes. It’s like she can’t even have a good option. Well except when she was hurled up to your neck as you snored softly on her chest.
Letting you go meant no cuddles and kisses at night, where she would actually be able to sleep peacefully without having any nightmares. There would be no more Friday nights with you. She wouldn’t be able to see you glance at her with these loving eyes you always did. She couldn’t bear seeing you look at her like you did at Chad or Mindy or Sam. You looked at her like she was Tara. Your Tara, your eyes go soft when you see her. She didn’t want to lose that. She loves you more than a heart's love. But if she keeps you with her, you’re at risk of being killed. You’re at risk of losing your life and Tara could never forgive herself. But you’ll be with her. You’ll be able to make her heart feel whole. What was more important? Keeping herself loved, or keeping you safe? Keeping your heart whole?.. Or breaking it?
“Gosh,” she groaned, she didn’t know. But she did know she was going to have to begin to stop seeing you so often.
A week in and she could feel it.
That isn’t you, so baby bring it in closely.
She felt your eyes trace her whenever she was in the room. She felt those soft eyes slowly grow dark, she knew you felt sad. Like you were waiting for her, silently knowing she might never come back to you. Tara doesn’t notice how you would blink your tears away that you had to cover your face and cry against your sleeves. She doesn’t know how if she only got a few hours of sleep because she slept without you, that you got none.
You got me feeling so lonely. 
Even with the hurt that has held in your heart, you didn’t want to go back to her because she broke up with you, it wasn’t the other way around. It would never be the other way around. You felt alone.
You’ve been acting like you hardly know me.
You didn’t know why, you still didn’t know why she began to fade from your life, but you didn’t want to make her life so hard. Maybe she dropped you because that’s what you did in the first place, make her days a mess. When really it’s the other way around, you made it whole. Tara felt the way your figure turned away from her whenever she was near, a simple switch of your heel when she was there and walked away as quickly as you could. You talked to everyone but her. 
You began to finally find back the solace that music brought. You used to wear them when Tara didn’t know you, you wore them over your neck all the time. But when you started dating her, music felt like it wasn’t necessary anymore. Why would you need it to listen to music when you could hear your girlfriend's sweet laughter and voice? It was better than a sweet melody. She brought you harmony.
You both missed each other. Your room was filled with her, polaroids in every picture hung up above your bed, three boxes filled with books you once read together, a cooking book you used to bake on free Sundays, jewelry. You never took it down, because you still loved her. You can’t stop loving someone. You just find someone else to love more. 
Tara regrets it, she thought it would be so easy, she thought it would’ve been better to know that you were going to be okay. But ghostface wasn’t here right now. She felt so numb. Ghostface was gone and it would take time before the next legacy would be sparked to life once again.
But she ignored you to protect you. 
And the thing was, she knew that she broke you more than she protected you. She wanted to take it back. Tara wished she could feel your warm body laying in the same sheets. Knowing that you were hurting more than she was. 
You and Tara made eye contact, you two looked at each other for a long moment, before brushing past each other like strangers in another life, tears falling gently down each other's faces. 
She could’ve taken you back, but what was there to fix if the heart was broken beyond repair?
Your heart raced whenever you saw her, but she felt it begin to slow, losing your hope.
She wanted you to heal, she didn't want to come back just to be told that you didn't want to see her face.
She didn't know.
Maybe she shouldn't come back.
Maybe she shouldn't come back home in your arms at all.
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sycamorelibrary754 · 5 months
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Happy Thanksgiving
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Summary: You invite Natasha’s family to join you for Thanksgiving. Holiday cheer and a surprise awaits!
Genre: Fluff
Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader, Yelena Belova x reader (platonic), Alexei Alanovich Shostakov x reader (platonic) Melina Vostokoff x reader (platonic)
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: None
A/N: This was a fun one. Happy Thanksgiving!
When you first broached the subject with Natasha of inviting Yelena, Melina, and Alexi to your home for Thanksgiving, you weren’t sure how your wife would respond. True, things were better. Their relationship had gone through something of a healing process since they took down Dreykov and the Red Room together, but her family was still a lot for anyone to handle. Most of the team was going to Iowa to spend Thanksgiving with the Barton’s. Clint had gotten it into his head to deep fry the turkey this year. It was going to be can’t-miss-entertainment according to Sam. However, you and Natasha were looking forward to a more intimate holiday.
“You really want my family to join us for Thanksgiving?” Her eyes met yours as you snuggled up on the couch together.
“I think it could be really fun. Plus, you deserve to get to spend some quality time with them that doesn’t involve death, destruction, or pigs,” you joked. 
“You don’t like mom’s pigs?” She smirked.
No, love. I do. They’re adorable. Especially once Yelena made them those personalized piggy vests,” you giggled.
“Oh, yeah… Pests!” Natasha laughed recalling the image. 
“So what do you think? A Romanoff family Thanksgiving?”
She thought for a moment before a smile reached her lips. “Okay, let’s do it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think it could be fun,” caressing your cheek softly. 
Upon receiving Nat’s approval and confirmation that all three were available and would be there with bells on, you went into planning mode. Determined to make it a special holiday for everyone.
*^~^*
You left bright and early to hit up the grocery store the Monday before Thanksgiving. It was crucial to avoiding the out-of-stock items and the rush of, “fucking annoying slowpokes who don’t know a shallot from an onion,” you eloquently informed your wife after wiggling out of her warm hold. 
Nat mumbled something akin to, “See you later, detka,” her head buried in her pillow, as you hurriedly put on your coat, scarf, and beanie and rushed out of the house. Your car keys and shopping list clenched purposefully in your fist.
*^~^*
The front door slammed shut a couple of hours later, alerting Natasha to your arrival.
“I’m home, love!” 
“The conquering shopper has returned! How was the store?” Looking around at the mountain of groceries cluttered around you like presents under the Christmas tree. 
“It was good! I managed to get everything on the list,” removing your warm attire and running your hand smoothly through your hair. 
“I can see that, y/n. Did you leave anything for the other shoppers?” Nat smirked. 
“This is all necessary for the traditional Thanksgiving feast I have planned for us,” you explained. “Your family has never had an American Thanksgiving, so I thought why not go all out?” 
Your wife stepped carefully around your grocery maze and wrapped her arms lovingly around your neck. “Have I told you how much I love you?” 
“Not in the last twenty minutes,” jokingly glancing at the imaginary watch on your wrist before planting a tender kiss on her lips.
Natasha offered to unpack the groceries for you. Meanwhile, you set about creating a cooking timeline for the meal preparation. You were so in your element, your wife couldn’t help but smile. Your adorable expression as you typed away on your laptop reminded her of your demeanor out in the field. Focused, engaged, confident. 
*^~^*
A creature of habit, Natasha awoke the following morning for her daily run. She groggily reached over to turn off her alarm, until she realized the alarm hadn’t gone off. No, it was the clanging of pots and pans from the kitchen that tore her from her blissful sleep. Nat rolled over to your side of the bed, only to find it empty. She groaned softly and sat up; cracking her neck and stretching her arms over her head as a yawn escaped her lips.
Natasha padded down the hall toward the kitchen; still clad in her pajamas and the fuzzy socks you bought her. She turned the corner to find you floating around the kitchen in a whirlwind. Dishes in the oven and on the stove.
“Moya lyubov? You’re already in the kitchen?” Rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“No rest for the wary, sweetheart. I’ve got to get the pumpkin pie out of the way so I can get started on the sides by this afternoon,” you explained, fervently whisking your pumpkin puree into your custard mixture. You glanced around the counter like you were looking for something. “Oh, can you hand me those spice jars behind you?”
She picked up the cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger stacking them precariously on top of one another like blocks before appearing at your side.
“Nicely, done. You clearly missed your calling as a professional Jenga player.”
“Take your damned spices,” she snarked.
You sprinkled the spice mixture into the filling and let it sit. “Okay,” you said wiping your brow. “I just need to grab the pie crust out of the oven, it should be par-baked by now.”
“I got it, detka,” pulling on the oven mitts and removing the pan from the oven. 
Perfect, now we’re just going to fill the crust,” carefully pouring the custard filling. “Then this is going back in the oven at 325 for 45-60 minutes.” 
Nat carefully placed the pie back in the oven. “Shall I close, doctor?”
“Please,” in your most professional voice before lapsing into giggles. 
“Now, that’s in. We can get started on the sides. Mashed, potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberry feta salad,” you listed.
Two types of potatoes?”
“Oh, it’s a must, love! You get both the salty and the sweet. It’s potato perfection.”
“Hmm, just like you,” she said suggestively.
“Smooth,” you replied.
“I try.”
*^~^*
You were still in the kitchen when Natasha returned from her run. 
“Have you taken a break at all since I left?” Removing her running shoes and placing them by the front door.
“No time for breaks. Your sister just texted me and asked if Mac and Cheese was part of the American Thanksgiving tradition, so I’m whipping up one for her.”
Your wife rolled her eyes. “For God’s sake, that’s not necessary, malyshka. Yelena will survive one meal without her precious Mac and Cheese.” 
“It’s no problem. I want your family to feel comfortable! That’s why I also have a sparkling Vodka cocktail planned,” you winked. 
“That is so sweet, but there is no need to stress over it, y/n. They are going to love it no matter what you make. Plus, you know if you feed them this well they’ll never leave, right?”
“And wouldn’t that be wonderful?” You joked.
“No, it wouldn’t,” she deadpanned.
The rest of the afternoon was spent preparing the stuffing, cranberry sauce, garlic green beanies, and gravy. By the time you finally laid down on the couch Tuesday evening still in your apron, you were pleased with the progress you had made. Your legs lay across Natasha’s lap while she massaged your aching feet. She wasn’t surprised to look over and find you sound asleep five minutes later as the television glow illuminated your features. Your wife could only smile at your sleepy form before gently picking you up and carrying you off to bed.
*^~^*
Wednesday morning Natasha decided to let you sleep in, so she made the executive decision to turn your alarm off. Truthfully, she felt guilty for how hard you had been pushing yourself this week for the sake of her family. Nat was nursing a cup of tea and reading a book in the family room when she heard you down the hall.
“Oh, crap!”
“3,2,1…..”
“Nat, why didn’t you wake me up!” Throwing on your favorite cardigan as you entered the room. “I’ve still got to make the pretzel bread and raspberry jello today.”
“You needed the sleep. I can’t tell you’re exhausted, and you were sleeping so soundly when I got up.”
You had a look of panic in your eyes.
“It’s okay, y/n. I found the recipes for the jello and bread on the table and got the jump on it for you. The jello is done and in the fridge, and the bread dough is under the towel rising.”
You blinked a couple of times as if she was speaking Latin. “You cooked?” 
“Are you questioning my abilities?” Raising an eyebrow. 
“Well.… yeah? I love you sweetheart, but the only thing I’ve ever seen you make is a peanut butter sandwich.”
“See for yourself,” smiling proudly and removing her reading glasses.
Opening the fridge, you were pleasantly surprised to find a gelatinous raspberry jello staring back at you. You then peeked under the towel on the counter to find the bread dough had just about doubled in size.
“Well, turn me upside down and paint me blue!”
“Hmmm tempting, but let’s save that for after my family leaves,” Natasha smirked as she placed a kiss on the side of your temple from behind. 
“This is awesome, my love. Thank you so much,” turning around in her hold. “I have to say, the thought of the Black Widow cooking is incredibly sexy.”
“Is it now?” 
“Very, I may have to get you your own apron,” you teased, as Natasha gently grasped your ear lobe between her teeth before placing soft kisses down the side of your neck. A few moments later, her phone dinged with a text notification on the counter beside you. You glanced down at the screen out of the corner of your eye.
“It’s Yelena, sweetheart...”
“Is she on fire? Otherwise, I’m not stopping.” Moving the tender kisses to your lips. 
“No, she wants to know if she should bring anything,” you replied between kisses.
She feels bad we’re doing all the work,”
“She’s bringing our parents, that’s a shit ton of work.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
*^~^*
The next day you and Natasha got started on the crown jewel of your Thanksgiving dinner, the turkey. After letting it thaw in the fridge all week, your twenty-pound bird had been marinating in a salt brine for the past twelve hours. You placed the turkey in the oven at 425 degrees for 35 minutes, which gave you two just enough time to get ready before it needed to be basted.
After showering and putting on your best fall colors, you heard the doorbell.
“Baby, they’re here!” you called, opening the door to welcome your guests.
Alexi was sporting a plush turkey hat, while Melina held a freshly made appetizer. Yelena, standing in front of both of them, had Fanny at her feet. She quickly stepped inside first with a warm hug and a peck on your cheek. 
“Happy Thanksgiving, y/n! Thank you so much for inviting us. “Now,” placing both hands on your shoulders. “Where is the booze? I just had to spend the last 20 minutes in the car alone with them listening to Alexi ramble on about his stupid hat.”
You point toward the coffee table holding the sparkling Vodka cocktails as your sister-in-law gives you a cheeky smile. “I love you.” 
“Haha!” Alexi exclaimed. Greetings, my wonderful daughter-in-law. I am ready for turkey!” Wrapping you in a giant bear hug.
“Could’ve fooled me, Alexi,” you joked. “Ooh Melina, what do we have here? It looks delicious.”
“A traditional Russian appetizer, Mushroom Julienne. Mushrooms and onions cooked in cream sauce, cheese, and sour cream.”
“Ugh! My mouth is already watering. Here, let me take your coats, you can place that on the coffee table,” you offered. 
After tending to the coats, you rejoined the group as everyone settled in the family room for appetizers and cocktails. Holiday music played softly in the background, setting the scene perfectly. You sat on the sofa beside your wife while your in-laws treated you to numerous stories of Natasha and Yelena’s all-to-brief childhood in Ohio. Some of which you had yet to hear. 
“Y/N, has Natalia told you how she and Yelena used to stay up late on Christmas Eve to try and catch Santa Claus?” Melina asked. 
“Now that was fun. You know, he comes down the chimney, girls. Look out! Where is he? You wait for him, and then when the cookies are gone, you see he’s there.” Alexi recalled.
Yelena smiled fondly at the memory while Natasha turned as red as Santa’s suit and hid her face in her hands.
“Aww, honey,” rubbing circles on her back. It’s precious! I’m sure you were adorable.” 
“As adorable as you can be with bright blue hair. You looked like cotton candy,” Yelena laughed. 
Nat threw a pillow across the room that barely missed her sister’s head.
“Ha!! Missed!”
“Girls, behave,” Melina ordered.
You couldn’t help but smile at the sisterly teasing and family banter. This was exactly what you were hoping for, and the evening was just getting started.
“Oh, detka, you don’t have a drink yet. Let me get you one,” Natasha offered starting to stand up, but your hand on her arm stopped her. 
“Oh, no thanks, love. I actually need to go check on the turkey.” 
“I’ll join you,” Yelena announced. “I want to see this bird you Americans are so crazy about.”
You opened the oven to reveal your delectable 20-pound turkey. “Do you want to brush it with the honey glaze for me, Lena? I’m going to check on the side dishes.” 
“Just call me DaVinci!”
You turned back around to find your sister-in-law had finished off the glazing by painting a smiley face on the turkey. 
“Wow, I didn’t know our turkey had such a charming smile,” you joked. Reducing the heat to 325 and setting the timer for another 75 minutes. 
“Thank you again for including us today, y/n. While it would’ve been fun to watch Barton sear his eyebrows off trying to deep-fry a turkey, it's been nice to see Natasha so happy. We didn’t have any family holidays growing up. Not real ones, anyway.”
“Well, you always will now,” placing an arm around her shoulder. “I will spend the rest of my life trying to make your sister happy. That’s a promise.”
While the turkey finished cooking, you decided to share as many of your own Thanksgiving traditions as you could. You watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, took in some Turkey Day football, and even played a rousing game of Pictionary.
“What the hell is that?” Yelena shouted as Nat was heavily engaged in her drawing.  
“Oooh! Ooh! A ladybug doing the Macarena!”You screamed, just before the timer ran out.
“Yes!” 
“Unbelievable, what is that five in a row,” Melina remarked. No wonder you two are such a good team.”
“Well, it's no surprise you're a pro at Pictionary. I mean, who needs talent when you can just doodle like a 5-year-old?” Yelena retorted.
“Don’t hate the player, hate the game, Lena,” dropping the marker like a microphone.
“Trust me, I do. It will be perfect for when I want to torture Kate Bishop.”
“With that, I think it’s time for dinner,” you announced happily. 
*^~^*
It only took a few minutes before your Thanksgiving feast was lovingly displayed on the dining room table. The sight and aroma of the food was a gentle massage to the soul.
“Before we dig in,” holding up your glass for a toast, “I just wanted to say how happy Nat and I are that you could join us today. We love you, and I’m so thankful to be a part of your family.”
Natasha grasped your hand and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. 
“We feel the same way,” Melina concurred.
“Yes, we’re so happy that you and our little Natalia found each other,” Alexi added.
“Yes, y/n is a saint. It’s all very touching, can I carve the turkey now,” Yelena groaned, holding up a sharpened carving knife. 
“You may proceed,” you declared with a Queen’s wave of your hand. 
Dishes were passed around the table like musical chairs. Wine filled everyone’s glasses, while you opted for your favorite - Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider. You pretended not to notice Yelena sneaking a few scraps to Fanny under the table. The chatter rose and fell, every few moments dispersed with laughter. It was the kind of occasion most aren't aware that they're truly enjoying, yet look back at in warm nostalgia.
After hibernating for a bit in your Thanksgiving food comas, you moved back into the family room for dessert. You were excited to finally bring out the homemade Pumpkin pie topped with whipped cream.
“Ah, now this is a beautiful pie.” Look at this, girls. I love America, you cannot get this back in St. Petersburg.” Alexi gushed. 
“Y/N made it from scratch,” your wife bragged, causing you to blush at the compliment.
“Did y/n also split the atom?” Yelena teased. She earned an eye roll from her older sister. “Could you BE more whipped?”
“No, I honestly don’t think I could,” Natasha looked at you like you had hung the moon and the stars. 
*^~^*
As the evening wound down, the hustle and bustle of the past week was starting to catch up to you. Your wife didn’t miss your heavy eyelids or the tiny yawn that escaped your lips as Fanny hopped up on the couch to lay down beside you. 
“Well, we should probably get going, traffic will be annoying crossing back over the bridge,” your sister-in-law said.
“Before you go, I have gifts for all of you!” Jumping up off the couch. 
“You do?”A bewildered expression on Nat’s face. 
“I do!” You’re voice trailed away as you padded down the hall toward your bedroom.
Natasha turned around to her family with a shrug of her shoulders, no clue what you were talking about. You returned a moment later with small autumn-gold gift bags. 
“This is just a little something for each of you,” clasping your hands together in front of your smiling face. Natasha was even more confused when you handed her one as well. “Go on, sweetheart,” you encouraged.
Natasha removed the delicate tissue paper. Her strong and calloused hands met the soft cotton hiding inside. She pulled the gift out and held it up in front of her. A tiny onesie was staring back at her that read, “Mommy’s Little Turkey.” 
Natasha stared at it speechlessly wide-eyed. A first for your relationship. Finally, her brain caught up with the moment. “Moya lyubov—what? we—you…you’re pregnant?”
You nodded vigorously, starting to cry. Natasha’s hands cupped your cheeks. Her lips met yours in a heartfelt kiss, not caring in the slightest that her family was watching. You gently combed your fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck, returning the kiss.
Melina, Alexi, and Yelena held up their onesies to find variations of Natasha’s: Grandma’s Little Turkey, Grandpa’s Little Turkey, and Auntie’s Little Turkey.” 
“I knew it!”Yelena shouted.
She turned to Natasha and whispered, “You see what can happen when you keep your heart,” holding her lovingly in her arms.  
Vashe zdorov'ye! (Cheers) Alexi exclaimed. If it is a boy you will name him Alexi. It is a strong and honorable name!” Kissing you on both cheeks.
“Oh God,” Yelena muttered under her breath. “For the love of Fanny, please don’t do that,” wrapping her arms around you. “I would love to babysit. There is much I’m looking forward to passing on to my niece or nephew.”
“Yeah, that’s not terrifying at all,” your wife mumbled in your ear. 
The shock wearing off, Natasha reached down and gently placed her palm on your stomach. You weren’t showing yet, but just knowing that your child was growing inside you awakened a dream that she had put away in the Red Room long ago. 
*^~^*
Once her family left, Natasha insisted that she would handle the post-holiday clean-up, confining you to the couch with a plethora of pillows and a fluffy blanket. Foreshadowing what was to come for the duration of your pregnancy. 
“Sweetheart, those dishes go in the top right cupboard,” directing her from the couch.
“No worries, malyshka. I got it! You just take it easy. The baby needs rest after all of this Thanksgiving cheer,” her protective instincts make an appearance.
“The baby is the size of a plum, my love,”
“A very tired plum!” 
*^~^*
Thirty minutes later the kitchen was clean and you both were ready for a good night’s sleep. You would never admit it to your wife, but boy, were you tired. You donned your coziest pajamas and joined Natasha in bed. Snuggled into the covers, you found comfort and peace in your safe space. Nat rolled over to face you, your foreheads touching in a beautifully intimate gesture of love and affection. 
“This has been the best day of my life. Not only did you give my family an amazing Thanksgiving, you gave me a gift I’ll never forget. Though I have to admit now that I know you’re pregnant, I’m replaying the last week in my head in a loop of horrifying anxiety.” 
You giggled at her confession, “It’s alright, Nat. I’m ready for a nice long rest, and I just had a check-up with Helen last week.”
“Wait, does the team know?” 
“Dear God, no. You think that group can keep a secret?”
“We can tell them at Stark’s Christmas party in a couple of weeks if you’re comfortable with the idea.” 
“Perfect. I need a couple of weeks to prepare for the onslaught of attention from our little one’s aunts and uncles.”
Natasha reached over and grabbed your hand. “I love you, y/n. I can’t wait to welcome our little plum into the world,” she smiled.
“I love you too. You are going to be an amazing mother, sweetheart.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, y/n”
“Happy Thanksgiving, Natasha.”
646 notes · View notes
moonlitdesertdreams · 26 days
Text
Too Sweet
A/N: Hi friends. I haven't written anything in a while, as I've been tussling with my mental health and raging SAD from the weather near me. Please accept this Mandalorian drabble? Rambling? Takes place between the end of season two and Din's appearance in the Book of Boba Fett. Tags: The Mandalorian, Mandalorian x Reader, Din Djarin x Reader, Mandalorian x F!Reader, Apostate!Din WARNINGS: None Summary: You've been a safe place for Din Djarin for years. He comes to you at his most vulnerable, but always has to leave before you're ready. Title inspired by the Hozier song of the same name.
Word count: 1.6k+
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Hours later, you’re still in shock.
Din Djarin is in bed next to you, sans helmet.
It wasn’t unusual for him to be in your home- hell, it would be more unusual for him not to be there between jobs. Your Mandalorian had spent years visiting, hovering somewhere in between a lover and a partner. He shows up in the afternoon one day, and is gone early in the morning before you wake. When he returns, beaten and bruised, you chastise him for leaving without saying goodbye. The routine was comfortable. Familiar. 
Except every other time he had been there, you had never seen his face. 
It feels like a dance each time he comes. You tend to his wounds quickly but gently, lathering cuts and bruises in bacta before wrapping bandages or slings where necessary to let the medication heal. Once you’ve played nurse, Din secludes himself to your study to eat dinner. And each time, without fail, he leads you to the bedroom to extinguish the fireplace and blow out your candles. His hands find your body, and he ravishes you in the darkness. 
Key word being darkness.
Today was the same song and dance. He’d limped into your cabin without greeting, shaking snow from his armored body and settling himself into a kitchen chair while you fussed. A tube of bacta and half a roll of bandages later, he silently trudged away to eat in the study. There was a distinct lack of little green child with him today, which was a major concern after the past year. You suspected it had something to do with the oppressive sense of sorrow following him through the house. So you carried on with your usual routine, asking little to no questions. It wasn’t until he’d crowded you up against the sink, bowl still in your grip as you rinsed it, that he spoke. 
“Mesh’la.”
Strong arms wrapped themselves around your waist, and you leaned back into an unarmored chest. In hindsight, you chastised yourself for not noticing the words lacked the electrical buzz of a vocoder. 
“Din.” You returned.
He only grunts, right hand gliding up your side. It grips your shoulder, and presses until you turn to face him, bowl still gripped in your damp fingers. 
“You know, words are- Din!”
The porcelain bowl shattered as it collided with the kitchen floor. You’d dropped it out of pure instinct, hands flying up to cover your eyes. As much as you’d tried to forget what you saw, it was burned into your brain. Wavy hair, long nose with a scar crossing the bridge of it. Big, brown eyes that couldn’t possibly belong to someone so stern and ruthless. It flashes across your mind, and you almost tear up at the thought of Din breaking his Creed after all these years. 
But he’d pulled your hands away and explained - while your eyes are still pinched closed- that he was an apostate. The Child was returned to his own people, but at the cost of Din’s Creed. It had taken minutes of coaxing and reassurance, but you’d opened your eyes and cursed the universe for being so cruel as to hide such a face. From the set of his brow to the nervous biting of his lip, you basked in seeing so much bare skin. It took less time for him to attach his lips to yours and lead you out of the kitchen.
He’d taken you to bed, and now here you sit. 
Your room isn’t anything special. Quaint and cozy if nothing else, with two small windows that face out over the mountain’s edge. A fireplace flickers opposite the bed, its warmth trickling out to the sheets and heating your toes. Two bookshelves border either side of your headboard, with a nightstand tucked on Din’s side of the bed. On it, the usually extinguished candles burn bright. 
The firelight flickers against Din’s tan skin, highlighting each bead of sweat and curled tendril of hair where it sticks to his forehead. He’s naked, back propped against the headboard and covered in a maroon sheet from the waist down. You’ve donned a short silk robe, black and bordered with laces where it plunges between your breasts. You lay between his legs above the sheets, head on his chest. One of his large hands caresses your scalp and trails to the ends of your hair. The other hand is occupied by a half-full glass of old Corellian whiskey. 
You trace a line of yellow bruises on his hip where they extend below the sheet on his lap. 
“What happened to you?”
His chest rumbles. “I fought an Imperial Moff. And Imperial battle droids.”
Your eyes widen, and you sit up. Din’s hand leaves your hair to grasp at your waist, pulling you to face him.
“Stars, Din.” You reach out to touch a patch of black and blue skin over his collarbone. “No wonder you’re so beat up. I’ll get you some more bacta before we go to sleep.”
He lifts your fingers from his collarbone to his mouth, kissing each fingertip. “You’re too good to me, cyar’ika.”
“You deserve it.” Is your instant reply. 
If there was anything you knew about Din, it was that he never quite comprehended the good he brought to the world. 
The Mandalorian brings the whiskey to his lips and takes a swig. You opt to push an errant curl behind his ear. 
“I’m not a good man,” Your name falls off his tongue like honey. “Spent my whole life as kyramud.” 
You tilt your head at the Mando’a. He’d called you some pet names for years- mesh’la, cyar’ika. But this… kyramud was new. Without his helmet, hearing anything out of his mouth was like a drug. But Mando’a warmed you to the core, building off Din’s comfort and fondness when he spoke the ancient tongue. You yearned to know more. 
“Teach me Mando’a.” You kiss him gently, tasting the whiskey where it lingers on his lips. “So I can tell you why you deserve every bit of kindness.”
Din adjusts your legs so you’re sitting square between his, rear end on the bed and legs straddling his waist. He props you up with the ridiculous amount of pillows lying around. 
“I’ll teach you anything you want.” Din strokes your knee. “Where do I start?”
You chew on your bottom lip. “What am I to you?”
“Ner cyare.” He pauses, debating. The whiskey makes another appearance, and you’re distracted by his Adam's apple bobbing deliciously in the column of his throat. “Naysol uj par ni. Each day I see you is aay’han.”
“What does that mean?”
Din tilts your chin up. “My beloved. Too sweet for me.”
You blush. “What about the end? Ay-hen?”
“Aay’han. Mourning and joy. At the same time.” He finishes the whiskey. “I mourn when I leave you here.”
Much to your annoyance, tears prick your eyes at the reminder that when you closed them, he would be gone before you woke. “Don’t remind me. Please.”
Din leans forward to capture your lips with his. The sensation only serves to make the stinging behind your eyes worse, and a single tear drips down your cheek. He’s quick to kiss it away, large hand curling into your hair. You climb all the way into his lap, suddenly desperate for closeness. His skin is hot and damp, and you’ve never felt anything better. 
“Ni ceta. I never meant to hurt you.”
You sniffle against his neck. “Just promise me you’ll say goodbye from now on.”
He wets two fingers with his tongue and extinguishes the candles before cradling you in strong arms. Two words are murmured into your hair, quiet but sound.  
“I promise.”
You grip him tighter than ever, warmth sadly fading as the dread of morning envelopes you. 
*
The reflection of daylight off snow-covered ground wakes you. 
It bounces in your windows, bathing the room in cool white light. You blink slowly, a heaviness settled on all of your limbs. It’s a familiar soreness that aches from your shoulders to between your legs, dredging up memories of the night before. Din’s bare face, and all the sweet words in Mando’a that he tried to teach you before you remembered he can never stay as long as you’d like. You sigh, letting one of your arms dangle off the edge of the bed. The thought of turning over and seeing the candles, thinking about him blowing them out on each visit was too fresh. It’s easier to lay and stew in your sadness, watching fluffy flakes of snow fall. The clock on your wall reads ‘1457’, another unintentional reminder of your late-night escapades.
You hate to admit that the feeling makes you tear up again. So you lay in bed, curled beneath a thick comforter while the fireplace crackles its last few breaths towards your feet. It’s easier to stare at the snow than it is to close your eyes and think about Din. 
“Damn it.” You breathe. 
“What are you damning?”
You swear that you stop breathing for a moment. Despite the fact that he had already spoken, you ask aloud, “Din?”
The sounds of bare feet padding across the floor nears, and the Mandalorian appears in your vision. Barefoot and clad only in a pair of loose gray lounge pants that tighten at his ankles. His abdomen is without cover, displaying an array of healing bruises and deep scars. You sit up, letting your feet hang off the bed. 
“You’re still here?” You look at the clock again. “At 1500?”
Din smiles, kneeling in front of you. He presses a mug of steaming Caf into your hands and a kiss to your forehead. 
“If it’s alright with you… I might be for a while.”
It’s your turn to smile as he smoothes away your bedhead. 
“No arguments.” You sip at the warm mug. “I’ll keep taking my Caf in bed, though.”
___________________________________________________
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huboi · 3 months
Text
“it wasn’t your fault”
[muzan kibutusuji, kokushibo and akaza x gn! reader]
╰┈➤ includes; mentions of r*pe, self loathing, death (not reader), please note this is a triggering topic so readers’ discretion is advised
╰┈➤ extras; this was a request, sadly I can’t tag them cause tumblrs’ being a bitch about it so I just hope that the requester comes across this
╰┈➤ a/n; it’s important to note I haven’t dealt with anything like this personally, so apologies if this doesn’t seem realistic or is badly done, I will try my damndest to be as respectful as possible with this fic
ʚ ═══・୨ ꕤ ୧・═══ ɞ
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muzan kibutusuji
yes, he’s a demon, not just any demon but the king of demons, which certainly means he cares for no one, especially not a human of all things right?
wrong
muzan originally planned on turning you, when something in his dead heart jumped for joy at the sight of your face, he just couldn’t turn you
and so he protected you when needed and eventually you ended up dating
one thing he noticed is that whenever he goes to touch or kiss you etc. you seem to back off or hesitate, you believe he doesn’t notice but he does
he’s also noticed you tend to cover your body 24/7 with baggy clothing and never wear short sleeved shirts or shorts
when he confronted you about it, you just burst into tears, thinking he would dump you or blame you for what they did to your body
with a comforting embrace, and some time to mull it over, you decided to tell him what happened
muzan was furious to say the least, not at you, never, he was furious at the disgusting person who dared to lay their filthy hands on you without your consent
he gives you little kisses on your face (with consent of course) and hugs you close whilst assuring you “it’s not your fault”
later on when he was sure you were fast asleep, he took care of a certain someone
safe to say that that person will never touch you again
ʚ ═══・୨ ꕤ ୧・═══ ɞ
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kokushibo
it’s pretty obvious he’s a demon
so as soon as you guys crossed paths, you could tell he wasn’t human by his face alone
at first you were worried he was gonna hurt you, but he simply shrugged and explained how he doesn’t bother killing people unless necessary
somehow you guys ended up in a relationship and bam!
you’re one of the most protected people in Japan
kokushibos’ weary eyes couldn’t help but notice your hesitancy towards his intimate advances, no matter how simple
he could also tell you held some sort of self hatred towards yourself, as he had been in your position hundreds of years ago
he brings it up one afternoon, explaining how he wants to make sure you’re both comfortable in the relationship
you hesitantly give him the answer, expecting for him to kill you on the spot
only for the usually stoic demon to wrap you into a tight hug, arms trembling and face contorted in anger
“it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong” he seethed, before asking if you remember what they look like
after giving him a brief description of them he was off in a flash, seemingly teleporting to god knows where
the person trembled, cowering into a corner begging for their life to be spared, kokushibo simply unsheathing his sword and landing cuts all over them so he can bleed out slowly and die from the blood loss
when coming back from his deeds, kokushibo saw you in bed wrapped up in the blanket, he simply climbed in after you and hugged you from behind
ʚ ═══・୨ ꕤ ୧・═══ ɞ
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akaza
definitely the most angry out of all three demons
he will hunt everywhere for this person and won’t take a break until he finds them and breaks them himself
when he does come across this ‘human’, he will personally punch him so that he dies from a slow painful death
when coming back to you, akaza will simply be there for you throughout the healing process/trauma
he hates how the monster caused you so much trauma
akaza is always there for you if you want to vent or talk about your feelings
if anything like that ever happens again, tell him, he’ll be there for you and will also personally deal with the monster that did this to you
ʚ ═══・୨ ꕤ ୧・═══ ɞ
© content belongs to @huboi, please refrain from republishing on any other platforms! I don’t own the characters in this story
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