#I think having one guy be responsible for THAT MUCH would be a bit excessive. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celaenaeiln · 8 months

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something i’d love to see more of is angsty rebellious teenage dick grayson. i don’t know why i enjoy the trope but the image of dick “golden boy” grayson getting plastered with roy as he slowly sinks into depression before somewhat getting his shit together is an interesting picture

also he just seems like the guy to get impulsive piercings. dunno why

oooh yeah that fantasy's a guilty a pleasure of mine.

I am 1000000000% an enforcer of Dick was not an angry robin. And he wasn't because the comics show just how happy his demeanor was and how fun he is. But angsty teen Dick? 16/17 year old Dick?

I LOVE IT.

Again throwing a little bit of canon in

"When we started this you were open and encouraging. You were my father...but these last few years...all you've been doing is trying to control me even more."

This is so loaded.

The anger Dick feels when Bruce is trying control him, trying to lock him in a cage in the batcave because of worry, has so much ao3 potential.

Like angsty teen dick is so complicated to think about because Bruce acts a bit like an alcoholic father and Dick's compartmentalization issues come from his parents' death. So what would this result in?

I have no fcking clue.

Because Dick would totally get wasted with Roy, hazy blue eyes staring emptily into space, watching with a flushed cheeks as his short black hair fans out on the back of a beaten blue couch at Roy's place, just breaking down quietly as Roy rants and screams about life's injustices in the background, slinging an arm around Dick and jostling him.

Or maybe he and Roy would also go bar hopping, both of them sloppy drunk, laughing and crying at the same time while they max out their daddies' credit cards and then crash somewhere in someone's pool. Maybe they end up inadvertently on Katy Perry's Friday Night music video.

Or maybe Dick would be a hurricane of disaster, lashing out with knives of sharpened words stabbing the deepest, sorest spots of pain in people, his anger alighting a fire in all. He would be magnificent, ferocious, and catastrophic.

He could be any of these three and all three at once.

He would feel the need to act out if Bruce was becoming more controlling.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, Dick raised Bruce and that perpetually sense of responsibility he's instilled into himself from a young age as well as his self-sufficiency is never erased so one night he would be blacked out from the excessive alcohol but next morning 6'o clock his body's walking up and he's going through his morning routine like a machine and out the door to work. He just keeps going like this day and day until he collapses and the titans intervene or Bruce drags him back to the manor, screaming in love and fear and Dick screams back and the cycle begins.

Nightwing (1996) Issue #135

Like canonically Dick ran away from home at 16, got a job, got caught up in a major anarchist group, and did a whole freaking investigation while Bruce sulked in the cave because Dick ran away.

There's so much angsty dick potential that could go in so many ways because he's such a complex character that all of them apply.

LOL!!! I totally think he would get impulsive piercings too. Maybe when he's drunk and pissed and then the next day he would wake up be like wtf. He'd sit in turmoil and a little regret for a while and then be like whatever because these piercing are freaking cool.

Bonus: no one (except the og titans and Alfred bc Dick never keeps anything from Alfred and the titans are family) ever find out about the piercings and it's kept a tightly guarded secret until a decade later when he does something in the batcave and one of the batkids notice and they're like, "DICK YOU HAVE A PIERCING?!" The rest of them just about break their neck whipping their head around to look at him. Dick just shrugs nonchalantly because time has tempered him and goes, "oh yeah. I guess. I forgot." Bruce passes out and wakes up on the floor to Dick hovering worriedly over him while the rest of the family watches in amusement at his predicament and also half brokenly because their golden boy big brother has piercings. Plural.

Bruce gasped out a pained breath, "Piercings?"

Dick stared at him silently, gemstone eyes holding his gaze as the quiet of the cave melted the seconds into hours. His eyes slowly slid from Bruce's to where the rest of the family was standing, watching them with bated breath for his answer, before they met Bruce's hopeful ones again.

"No." Bruce, with all the strength left in his body after recovering, raised a questioning eyebrow as Dick continued, "I don't have any piercings and never did."

"Hmn." But he swore he could've seen-

The kids erupted in protests.

"Dick, come on!" Jason hollered, pushing forward. "We clearly saw it there-"

"Where?" Dick asked, spreading his arms wide and invitingly, offering them to see for themselves.

The piercing they had all gotten the barest glimpse of was gone from where they had seen it on Dick.

"But you said you! You said, 'yeah. I guess so. I forgot.'" Stephanie put her hands on her hips, "Admit it Boy Piercing!"

"Boy Piercing?!"

"Fess up, pretty boy!"

"Steph," Dick visibly bit his lip to keep from laughing, "I was joking. You guys should've see your reactions - they were so funny!! Dick has a piercing. OMG. You people were hilarious."

Damian clicked his tongue. "Enough Richard! Did you implement metal into you skin like a heathen? Richard, how could you?! Who dare touch-"

"No Dami!" Dick quickly interfered to prevent a possible murder on his behalf, "I was just kidding, okay? Besides, did you guys even really see it? Like full on?"

Harper crossed her arms. "Close enough."

Dick quirked his eyebrow at that. "But you didn't actually see it right? You thought you saw something shining and turned to look. C'mon you guys know what it is - peripheral vision hallucinations. Things you see in your peripheral vision that aren't real because you are tired," He pinned a look at each other, emphasizing the words, "and stressed."

Dick pressed his lips together and folded his arms. "Time for bed. Now. I know you all haven't been sleeping for the past few days so you all are going to bed. At the manor." Dick finished, shooting Jason a look when he tried secretly shuffling toward his bike.

The rest of them were unmoved for a moment but quickly caved under Dick's patented "I'm mom-ing you."™ stare as Jason liked to call it.

They trudged upstairs while Bruce and Dick watched in companionable silence.

Bruce turned to look at Dick as the sounds of their bickering and footsteps faded away.

"How did you do it?"

Dick hummed distractedly and tilted his head to look down at Bruce still sitting on the floor. "Do what?"

Bruce growled, impatience, annoyance, and apprehension swimming in his voice, "Don't lie. To me. How did you hide it? Now. And for so long?"

Bruce watched tensed as the tip of Dick's tongue ran over the ridges of his top row of teeth, the first sign of anger he had seen from him in weeks. The pink flesh of his tongue barely avoiding cutting itself on the slightly too sharp canines that Dick loved to call his vampire teeth since he was little. He had even threw a veteran-dentist-scaring-tantrum in the dentist's office when the man suggested shaving them down once.

Bruce watched warily as Dick crouched down, balancing on his balls of his feet like a cat on a fence, and forcefully tamped down the sudden urge to pull out a hidden batarang when the boy grinned, eyes lighting with the wild fire of joy and madness from his robin days that still had Bruce on edge for decades.

"How did you it?" He asked again, not sure if he really wanted to know anymore but the principle remained. There was no way Dick's activities could be hidden for so long. He didn't invest in his detective following skills for something like this to escape his observation. But at the same time Dick had evaded his tracking skills when he was seventeen and ran away from him. But something so obvious as a piercing would never escape his notice. But a whole 17 year old boy also shouldn't have escaped his notice. However, Bruce had improved. He had gotten better at his job and his skills. Right? Right, of course, he was the best in the world. Dick definitely did have a piercing. But...on the off chance...what if he really had just seen a flash of light? Sweat on a body? The edge of a birdarang? Peripheral vision hallucinations? "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

You already know what I'm asking. Bruce thought, frustrated with Dick for lying. Frustrated with himself for not knowing if Dick was lying.

"Do you have piercings?" Bruce ground out.

Dick laughed, his voice echoing like choir bells in the spacious cave and bouncing off the stalactites to create a ringing, haunting melody as he leaned in closer to Bruce.

"C'mon, B! You know every showman's got his own tricks," Dick grinned brightly.

And you're the whole damn circus. Bruce hissed viciously in his mind.

Dick's eyes twinkled back at him.

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surprisingmarch · 4 days

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(𝐉𝐉𝐁𝐀) 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐦 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐒𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥, 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜)

------------------------------------------

The first time Star Platinum ever visited you was when Jotaro randomly stopped by during one of your "things I put off doing for months chore days" and offered to fetch your groceries for you since you were so busy and he couldn't fathom you feeling like going out after all that. You made sure he was truly okay with doing so before sending him out with one of your cards… though you and Jotaro both knew he was going to buy your groceries for you even after your excessive insisting for him not to.

Jotaro was only gone for about twenty minutes before Star appeared, you turned around and almost had a heart attack when you saw him standing directly behind you, you thought someone broke in at first but after realizing he had purple skin and long flowy starry looking hair you realized it was just him.

Your fear ended up startling Star Platinum and he looked like he about had a heart attack as well, but he seemed to be fearful because he thought you were having one, not because he was afraid of you. He kept rubbing your back and saying soft oras like an attentive mother would.

After you both calmed down and took a moment to breath, he continued following you around like a lost puppy, seemingly following you about to make sure that you were okay and that nothing was to happen to you. In fact you tested it, you started to fake fall and Star Platinum picked you up in less than a millisecond and looked at you with all the concern in the world, those big puppy eyes glistening from the lights above.

It made you giggle, you think it's funny how concerned such a tough guy like Jotaro really is. For his stand to come all the way over there just to see you and watch over you? He must really care and worry about you… not that you didn't already know that, but it seems he worries way more than you thought.. perhaps too much.

You made sure to assure Star that you were just kidding to which he responded by throwing you onto the couch and making you into a human burrito by wrapping several blankets around you… you stayed that way until Jotaro got back. You tried to beckon Star to release you from your prison, but he refused to and wagged his finger at you like a mother reprimanding her child with a bunch of disapproving oras following suit.

When Jotaro got back.. he wasn't very happy with you and your behavior. It turns out he knows what Star Platinum is doing because he can see it in his mind, but often times he can't control Star's actions, which means in reality you were being sassy with Jojo.. not a smart move. Jotaro ended up putting your groceries away in their respective places before walking over to you and sitting on your legs, rendering you even less mobile… the little shit.

After a while he did free you, but he demanded you to take a break and go eat out with him some where, he was hungry.. you caved and ate out with him, you two ate some where very nice and by the time Jotaro took you home, Star had done already your chores for you.

As you gazed around your nice clean place Jotaro leaned into your ear. "Don't ever make me worry about you like that again, never try to tackle something that of that magnitude without my help… understand?" Jotaro mumbled into your ear threateningly, you nodded softly and turned your head to look at him. He was frowning and clearly a bit upset that you didn't think to ask him for help. "Yeah, I understand. Sorry.." You softly replied, Jotaro hummed in response before standing up straight and pulling you into a giant bear hug.

Jotaro ended up staying with you that night… mostly because he refused to leave. He ended up tending to you all night, he asked you if you were sore any where and ended up giving you a back and leg massage even though you weren't sore, he made sure to stop you from getting up from your comfy little pillow nest you had made on your couch and went and got the things you required for you, he even put on your favorite comfort movies and shows all night.

When you asked him why he keeps being such a good little helper he simply responded "I have to make up for the chores I wasn't there to help you with.." Which he said with a gallon of venom pouring out of his tone. Obviously, he's going to be salty that you didn't think to ask him to help you clean for a while.. at least a week… possibly a whole month. You're sure he'll bring this up one day years from now just to annoy you.

When you tried to explain that you just didn't think to ask for help he quickly barked "That's my point! You didn't think to ask me for help.. I always think to call you when I need something, I think about you constantly, I think about how you're doing, if you're eating enough, if you're okay, if you made it home safely, I practically see you as my own kin and yet you didn't even think to ask me for help when you needed it most.. Isn't that what family is there for? I thought you viewed me the same as I do you, but perhaps I'm mistaken." You very quickly jumped out of your seat and gave him a giant hug and explained that you just aren't used to having some one there for you like that and you really do appreciate it and you'll call him for now on.. He begrudgingly picked you up and carried you to the couch where he cuddled you within the pillow nest but he later forced you draw out a chore list and made you pick a specific day of the week they need to be done on. You did try to argue with him about it but he threatened to move in and eat all of your food.. so you had to do it.

From that point on he's always there to help you with your cleaning, after all you do help him with his.. it's only fair he helps you with yours too. Sometimes he does all of it for you, he claims it's easy to do and honestly.. to him it probably is. Either way you're very thankful.

==================================

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obliteration-onearth · 10 months

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( a/n: unedited and hate this lowkey )

---

[ yandere rin x reader ]

when did it begin? you could never tell, you always felt like someone was tailing after you but often convinced yourself you were silly for your absurd fantasies. hell, you weren't even interesting enough to begin with.

that's not what rin thought. everything you did was utterly fascinating to him, he could sit on a table with a cup of coffee and watch you read for hours on end. he'd observe how daintily your fingers wouls flip each page of the book, your small reactions ( like when you bite your lip or gasp quietly to yourself ), he even finds it amusing how you use anything as a book mark. it annoys him sometimes, ( the things you choose ) but his love for you overshadows your questionable quirks or weird antics.

when you'd first even acknowledge rin's existence was at the train station, where he'd deliberately collide your bodies against one another to create an impact where his coffee would spill all over his clothes, drenching him entirely.

embarrassed, you'd sputter out a few words before managing to invite him into your apartment for his shirt to be clean.

you thought it was being nice, he found it a result of his carefully orchestrated scheme to win your heart.

thus would begin his plan, a flawlessly designed set of events where he would have you falling at your feet for the character he'd display, only revealing his true nature once you've gotten together.

within the first few months, everything was normal.. except for the fact that one of your close friends mysteriously died.

during this time, rin would become your solace.

you would cling to him whenever you saw him and he'd encourage your behavior, enable you so you'd cry and ramble on for hours on end about your friend, the friend who's life had been taken by the man you'd trusted to be your lover.

if only you'd known..

with the grief and turmoil you'd been facing with the death of your friend, you wouldn't be able to identify when rin would become manipulative.

you didn't notice that when you'd start talking about your guy friends, rin would be a bit.. peeved. a slight irritated expression would start to appear on his face when you'd mention going out with a few of them or when you'd casually mention a funny anecdote.

soon, his sharp words began hurt you so you'd tell him to knock it off but his response would be perfect. he'd ramble on and on about how he's only worried for your safety and that he'd rather die himself than have his precious darling to be hurt.

and often, you'd find yourself buying into these lies of his. you'd stay home and cuddle with him and eventually, you'd avoid going out altogether to not worry rin.

you'd start asking permission to go out.

---

"hey rin, do you think i should go to this party tomorrow? it's my friend's birthday and-"

a feigned sympathetic expression would fall over his features as he'd sit himself up against the headboard, staring down at you with sympathy and concern.

"y/n.. i know you want to but can't you just text your friend a greeting? who knows what'll happen to you."

his finger would brush a stray strand of your hair away from your forehead as your eyes would meet his. you felt so loved knowing he would care so much for your safety.. not knowing the heinous intent underlying his words.

still, you wanted to go. you haven't been out in so long and you've felt like the last few days you've been spending at rin's place was getting a bit excessive. weren't you overstaying your welcome? not that rin ever said so.

upon noticing the apprehensive look glossing over your eyes, he'd then start to reassure you.

"hey.. it's okay, if you want you can go on the next party."

with a gentle voice, he'd rub your shoulder and assure you that if everything will be okay as long as you stay at home, that your being at you friend's party could potentially bring them in danger because who wouldn't want a pretty girl like you?

sighing, you'd agree to his words and snuggle up closer to him. rin, seeing your affirmation, would press a soft kiss to your forehead as your vision would dart to the television once more.

"it's better to stay with me, y/n. the sooner you learn that, the better."

---

( a/n: kill me.. hehe )

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indiaalphawhiskey · 2 years

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I was hoping to get your opinion on this entire holivia situation. You seem very open and patient to anons and I enjoy reading your responses. Why do you think it is that Harry and his team seem to have less of a say or control when it comes to this particular stunt? I understand there is a hollywood movie involved but it still seems oddly excessive to me. In the past Harry has been able to put his foot down and even cut beards off when they've behaved a little OTT but not with this one. tbc.

Hi there!

Sorry this took a while, you guys always hit me with the interesting stuff when I have other things I really ought to be doing. Oops. 😅

So, I know that I maybe sound like a broken record with my disclaimers, but when we talk about topics like this, I think it’s really important to remind ourselves that all we’re capable of doing is inferring. We don’t actually have any concrete knowledge about what Harry and Olivia’s stunt contract stipulates, what the overarching goals of the stunt are, what their red lines are, how they negotiated things, how things have evolved and whether the contract is flexible, etc. and we’re not ever going to have access to that info. I say this because I think we as a fandom sometimes have the habit of talking about situations like we know things for certain, because we’re often looking to each other for guidance and to make sense of very complex professional and personal situations that, unfortunately, tend to weigh very heavily on us emotionally, and part of fandom “health” (at least for me) is getting comfortable with not knowing and never getting a definitive answer.

Another really important thing to note (that someone very smart pointed out in a tag on one of my posts, I wish I could tag you) is that personal and professional goals are very different. What someone wants to achieve professionally can be (and very often is) contradictory to what they may want for their personal life. Part of living in the real world is understanding that that tension and complexity is always going to exist, and it’s actually extremely rare for those two things to align, especially in a career where success is almost entirely dependent on public love and support. I don’t think that’s said often enough when we discuss closeting and Harry and Louis’ situations.

All that said, let’s get into your question. (This is going to get long, so I apologize.)

Firstly, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a situation where Harry/his team have ever “put their foot down” when it comes to a stunt, but more importantly, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a stunt be “over the top” like this. So, when you say Olivia’s team says “jump” and Harry’s team says “how high?” I think that’s a bit of a misreading of the situation.

My guess is what you’re actually seeing is Olivia using the loopholes in their contract to her utmost advantage, which no other stunt has either thought to do, or had enough leverage to do in the past. We have to remember that these negotiations likely happened at the beginning of DWD, and at that time, Olivia was in a different professional situation than she is in now. She was his director, she was casting him, she was his professional superior, and negotiating something like a PR stunt with your professional superior is a delicate thing because, no matter how popular or accomplished Harry is or how much Olivia may have wanted his fan base for the movie, the power dynamics are still very much present. Compounded with the fact that Olivia herself was who they were pitching as his stunt partner, it would have been very easy to write something in the contract that she could take as a personal insult and that could’ve very easily jeopardized his role in the movie, their working relationship, his reputation as an up and coming actor… the list goes on.

That particular complexity has never existed with any of Harry’s other stunts (even the more high profile ones like Taylor and Kendall) because he’s never been directly beholden to them in a professional capacity. The worst thing that could’ve happened to him if he’d insulted those stunt partners somehow is calling the deal off and a few scathing rumors and songs here or there. With Taylor and Kendall, Harry was always an equal, not a subordinate. With the others, they had a vested interest in staying in Harry’s good graces by not pushing the boundaries, because he was a lot more famous than most of them. Olivia, however, seems not to care about pushing that boundary, mostly, I think, due to her personality, her “alpha-female” approach to her career goals, and the fact that Harry is likely to continue to conduct himself as professionally as he can even in a trying situation, so the backlash she gets from him, personally, is probably not enough to dissuade her.

Secondly, an important part of workplace politics is maintaining amicable business relationships. That means knowing how to choose your battles and always having professional reasoning (as opposed to personal) behind the battles you do choose to fight. So, I don’t actually think Harry’s more “on board than ever” but rather that he’s choosing his battles. And, if we’re honest, there’s no professional reasoning behind Olivia not being at multiple shows, or being papped in his merch, or them being papped together. “You’re annoying,” and “you annoy me,” and “my die hard fans can’t stand the sight of you” (and, also apparently for Olivia, “you’re having family issues that you need to deal with”) can’t really compete with consistent engagement with tabloids, Twitter trends, conversion rates (of GP to casual listeners to stans), Harry being placed on Hollywood’s radar, etc. However, it seems like when there is solid professional reasoning behind shutting down a decision, Harry and his team do take it. We’ve seen that in the social media and print media gag order (Olivia wasn’t allowed to mention him in her Vogue interview though she tried very hard to insinuate a confirmation) and the pivot in terms of the Harry’s House narrative (that I suspect largely had to do with how they plan to navigate My Policeman promo). I think our frustration as a fandom lies in that it’s not easy for us not to equate things that are annoying with things that are damaging to our relationship with Harry because when you’re as emotionally involved as we are, it all feels the same.

Lastly, I think we have to remember that the music industry and Hollywood are entirely different beasts, and I bring that up for two reasons:

1) Stunts serve different purposes, depending on the situation. For Harry Styles, singer-songwriter, it was meant to closet him, give an intriguing background to his love songs, make people interested in him, maybe even be used as a cover for why sex-symbol-rockstar-modern-day-Rolling Stone doesn’t ever take anyone back to his hotel room.

For Harry Styles, up and coming actor, it’s both to closet him and to keep people interested in him and his projects when he technically still has nothing to show for it. You can’t be interested in an actor from that one ensemble cast three years ago, even if it was a Nolan film. There needs to be a reason for him to be top of mind, especially when he technically has no body of work to give him credibility. Like it or not, a fauxmance is the way to do that, and at the end of the day, we have to remember that Harry does want to break into Hollywood. So, he has to play the game.

2) While we often joke about Larry being the music industry’s worst kept secret, it doesn’t necessarily follow that that would be the case in Hollywood. When Harry and Louis first got together, they were incredibly young (and not very good at hiding their feelings), and the people around them held relatively close ranks. They had the same bodyguards, their band was close, they worked with the same producers and song writers, they were in the same meetings, they used the same people as the crew over and over, and that level of environmental control made it much easier to mitigate the risk of them being outed while still allowing them to be “out” in their immediate environment (whether literally or through song writing). That seemed to carry over to their solo careers, where they seem to stay within the same professional circles of people as much as possible for, I suppose, many reasons, but also because I think they’ve built the kind of trust with these people that’s really hard to come by when you’re famous and closeted.

But, Harry doesn’t have that environmental control in Hollywood. He can’t call the shots on a movie set, or handpick the crew, or have time to develop that trust with all the people around him. And so, the answer to that is, if he can’t be fully out, he has to keep up some semblance of the closet by stunting, and that means, if Olivia wants to push the boundaries of their contract by being around all the damn time, then her inescapable presence, however annoying, at least serves to keep the narrative as consistent as possible with the least amount of Harry’s effort required.

TL;DR - It’s likely that Olivia is taking advantage of loopholes in a contract that was negotiated when she had professional leverage over Harry and his team, Harry and team need to choose their battles (and, I believe, have) with regards to the stunt and technically, however frustrating Olivia’s constant presence is, it’s not professionally damaging to Harry (so far) which makes it hard to draw lines for “smaller” nuisances, stunts in the music industry vs Hollywood have different goals, and unlike in the controlled circle of his professional environment in the music industry, in Hollywood, Harry likely still needs to keep up appearances because he doesn’t have the capacity to mitigate the risk of being officially outed in such a wide group of people.

Hope that was interesting to read and was at least halfway coherent!

#iaw ask #iaw anonymous #holivia #stunt tw #stunt discussion #holivia tw

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buthowboutno · 1 year

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totally not late 15k hits post

hmm? what’s that? we hit 15k hits on ATWLP?? like, yesterday, right? mhmm? yes?

We’re just gonna totally gloss over how I’ve left y’all on a cliffhanger for the past two weeks but uhhh HERE’S SOME CONTENT PSPSPS I PROMISE THE NEXT CHAPTER IS COMING OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE (my gf was visiting, i was too busy fawning over her to type xoxo.)

I would just like to say again that my readers are so fucking insane and talented and you guys have really been SUCH a huge support for every step of the way. It only took like three chapters to gain 5k hits!!! That’s absolutely /wild/.

So anyways, to the stinkies that have been here since the beginning and the ones that have joined us recently, i love y’all so so much and here’s to the second half of this truly monstrous fic.

Beneath the cut: Donnie’s POV from the end of Chapter 15.

QuarkedUp: not dogging on the newbies but she may or may not have caused us to have to redo our entire experiment

BootyShaker9000: You? Not being outright facetious to someone?

BootyShaker9000: Who are you and what have you done with the short nerd?

BootyShaker9000: Follow up question, will you keep them forever?

QuarkedUp: I hate you

Donnie snorted at your text as it popped up on the screen. He caught May smirking at him through the corner of his eye while he typed a response.

“What, am I not entertaining enough company?” she asked, taking a sip of her cocoa and keeping eye contact with Donnie over the rim of her mug. May had pointedly left the matching set alone for you and Donnie.

Donnie had appreciated that with words he couldn’t begin to form yet.

“I fear there’s no way to answer this without getting on someone’s bad side,” Donnie said.

May snorted, setting her mug down and reaching for the tupperware Donnie had brought over. Mikey had made more lavender sugar cookies that he insisted that Donnie take over to you that night, nevermind the fact that you were coming over later tomorrow.

Donnie might have… left out that detail when Mikey had asked him.

“Ah, well, don’t let me get in between you and your partner,” May teased. She bit into a cookie and hummed appreciatively.

Donnie’s cheeks felt warm as he began typing again. He would never get used to May calling you his partner. Between her and Splinter, Donnie’s mind had been rife with intrusive thoughts about you.

Thoughts about grabbing your hand with his when you placed it on his knee, about sticking his face in his hoodies when you finally returned them.

Thoughts about…

Nope! Lock it down, Donatello.

BootyShaker9000: You do not.

BootyShaker9000: Would you like me to make you something to drink?

QuarkedUp: oh yes pl

BootyShaker9000: Have we reached the point in society where we just aren’t finishing words anymore?

BootyShaker9000: May and I just finished off the last of the hot cocoa, but I can make you a green tea?

Donnie got up from his beanbag and walked over to the little area where the kettle was set up, flicking it on and searching through the little drawers for the tea you liked.

“I’m so glad the two of you use the mugs I bought,” May said as Donnie pulled out the matching pair to his mug. Donnie gave May a soft smile before turning back around to retrieve the honey.

“We use them every time I come over. I think their excessive abuse of caffeine is the last thing keeping your roomie tethered to reality, if I’m being honest,” Donnie said. Not that he, admittedly, was much better. You had forced him to start limiting his Redbull intake to just two cans a day if you couldn’t have your third or fourth cup of coffee.

‘Turnabout’s fair play,’ as you had told him.

‘I’m an engineered weapon of war,’ Donnie said back, ‘I can handle a little caffeine.’

How rude of you to care about his well-being.

May cackled, reaching into the tupperware for another cookie, “That’s what they get for being an engineer. Us art majors just go insane in the poetic way.”

Donnie huffed a laugh through his nose, “How very Plath of you.”

“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” May said. Donnie walked back over to retrieve his mug and took a long sip while he opened up his chat with you.

No new messages.

Weird.

BootyShaker9000: Sweetums?

“Has your roommate texted you in the last five minutes?” Donnie asked, setting his mug back down and tapping at his tech gauntlet to check your location.

“You’re… really overprotective, aren’t you?” May asked, but pulled out her phone all the same. With a few swipes she looked back up at Donnie, “Nothing since this morning.”

“Some might say I’m paranoid within reason,” Donnie said, focusing his full attention to his tech gauntlet. He tapped on your icon showing your location and pulled up your health stats. Heart rate slightly elevated, but nothing else too concerning, “My concern is backed up with years of empirical data and, for lack of better words, gut feeling.”

“I can refer you to some resources on campus for your anxiety, you know,” May said. She looked concerned, but Donnie just waved her off.

“Still not a student, but thank you.”

Donnie’s gauntlet started beeping obnoxiously, startling both of them. Donnie’s heart stopped when he saw the familiar notification on the screen.

“Something happened,” Donnie said, engaging his jetpack and taking off immediately through the open window. He didn’t wait a second to give May any explanation. How could he? How could he waste any second that should be spent making sure that you were okay?

He hovered above your last known location, finding nothing but the faint scent of your body wash and acetone that you had undoubtedly spilled earlier in your lab. Donnie dropped down to the ground and tried to trace where your smell was coming from. His eyes locked on his your hoodie that was folded neatly and placed on the edge of the sidewalk.

Donnie practically fell to his knees as he grabbed it. Your phone fell out of the front pocket as he did so with a note taped to the screen. Donnie’s hands shook as he picked it up off of the ground, thumbing the piece of paper open so he could read the messy scrawl.

Othello Von Ryan,

For old time’s sake, I’ll be frank. We have your partner and you have significant funds. There doesn’t need to be any hassle tonight, just so long as you follow every instruction.

Load $20,000 worth of Bitcoin onto a USB and go to the address sent to your phone. Bring no one. Leave your weapons behind. If you try anything, we will not hesitate to cut our losses and move on.

Consider our graciousness for your years of theft to be a gift for the happy couple.

–Purple Dragons

Donnie felt a eerie calm wash over him. It was like he had retreated into the back of his own skull, only merciless logic and cold fury guiding his next actions.

He pocketed your phone and rose from the ground with the hoodie in hand. He ran his thumb over the soft fabric, his mind completely focused while he pressed call on his phone.

“Leo? I’m going to need you to listen very carefully.”

#ATWLP #donnie x reader #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donnie x reader #donatello x reader

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emotionallychargedtowel · 1 year

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Utsukushii Kare S2E2

The two big headlines from this episode are:

Progress!

Setup setup setup

It makes sense that the previous episode was so self-contained while this one spent a good bit of its time setting up arcs that look like they’ll take the rest of the (four-episode) season to resolve, since the first episode is based on a story at the end of the first novel and now, with episode 2, we’re just starting out with the first part of the second novel. The setup parts meant that this episode wasn’t as dense as the prior one, but it still delivered on a lot of good moments and, most importantly for my morale as a viewer, it started to show some real progress in Hira and Kiyoi’s relationship.

I’m going to circle back to some of the relationship stuff I’ve been posting about and what it looked like in this episode in another post, but for now, here are some overall thoughts.

We got a continuation of the scene from the end of episode 1, so we learned that at least Hira did attempt to comfort Kiyoi after that exchange, he just did it in an incredibly goofy Hira way (stroking his hair with one finger that he...cleaned first in some way?).

The high school flashback really gave some useful context. We knew from season 1 that Kiyoi was hoping for Hira to make some kind of declaration because of his thoughts before the graduation day kiss. But this scene suggests he was waiting even longer, had more of a sense of urgency than was shown before. When his voiceover said, “Hurry, Hurry,” I really felt for Kiyoi.

I love that Koyama replaced that ugly plaid jacket...with a new ugly plaid jacket. He’s being a deus ex machina again as he tells Hira about the Young Photo Graphica contest, and he’s not finished yet.

The other fans shaming Hira for behaving almost exactly like them really bothered me. It seems like the only thing that makes everyone think he’s “suspicious” is the fact that he’s a dude. Well, and the disguise. But I guess I don’t get the big deal about that either.

Red scarf guy, Anna’s fan, is clearly being set up as serious trouble. He’s making a furious face when Kiyoi is just walking beside her in a totally normal manner. And he has a red ribbon he keeps playing with. I assume the symbolism there isn’t a coincidence and this is implying that he thinks he and Anna are fated to be together. If he turns out to be even half as scary as he seems right now, he’s going to make a good foil for Hira, and could deliver a wake-up call. I just hope the cost of that isn’t too great.

When Kiyoi tells Anna about how he likes the “rush” of live theater, he says it’s “an excitement that borders on fear.” I swear I’ve heard that somewhere before. Was it in season 1 somewhere?

I find Anna really likeable so far. My fantasy is that she turns out to be queer too and she’s going to bat for Kiyoi because he immediately pinged her gaydar. Probably not likely but I feel like it’d be fun. As long as red scarf guy doesn’t get too out of hand.

Seeing Kiyoi be affectionate with Hira when he gets home was priceless. When he came close and put his arms around him, it really did seem like he was showing some growth. He’s initiating affection, he’s using humor in a gentle way, and he still called him “baka” but he did it in a much gentler way than usual. Of course, he couldn’t keep this up once Koyama was on the phone. It can’t have helped that Koyama is cock-blocking him yet again. But his irritation that Koyama is involved in parts of Hira’s life he doesn’t know about is justifiable. Though maybe that magnitude of pouty lip face could be considered excessive.

When Kiyoi is stewing about Koyama the next day, he shows more self-awareness than usual. He says, “I can’t be mature about this,” with regard to Koyama’s presence in Hira’s life. But there was a time when he would have struggled to acknowledge that it bothered him at all, much less to acknowledge that a more mature response is possible (and preferable).

When Koyama actually appears, he handles it...well, better than before. He stays pretty polite and thanks Koyama for helping Hira. He reins himself in even when he’s accused of “freeloading.” He’s still suspicous as hell, but you know, he might be right to be.

I’m not entirely sure what to make of Koyama here. He sure seems to like to butt in between them. It sounds pretty absurd when Kiyoi wonders if Koyama is “asserting dominance,” but, like, I think he kind of is? At the same time, he could have been petty or sneaky about this stuff but instead he’s forthright and tries to be helpful--he even seems to succeed.

That kitchen scene was excruciating. I had to look away more than once. Not to mention Hira praising the botched dish and fighting over his serving with Kiyoi. (As usual, his deference isn’t even internally consistent. Kiyoi is this divine being who has made “the hot pot of the Gods” but Hira doesn’t seem to think he’s so godlike that he has to listen to him when he tells him to stop eating.)

It’s pretty notable that they switch their usual positions for the conversation after the disgusting hot pot full of sake situation. Hira sits on the floor in front of the couch, lower than Kiyoi, and Kiyoi is on the left. It makes sense as this scene is a kind of reversal of their usual habits. Kiyoi is pursuing Hira more emotionally, including praising him. It’s particularly notable that he was able to tell Hira it bothers him that he talks to Koyama about these things and not him. That would have been pretty much impossible for season 1 Kiyoi. It’ll be interesting to see if he can keep this sort of thing up when he hasn’t just downed a bunch of hot sake.

I loved the exchange after Kiyoi ordered Hira to enter the photography contest. In the past, if Hira badmouthed himself, Kiyoi would get angry and contradict him, but he would also undercut it in other ways, like being rude or insulting to Hira himself. He was mildly reproachful but he didn’t do anything to negate the good he did by telling Hira he’s not a “pebble.” Telling Hira that he’s “[his] man” and therefore he can’t be that bad or insignificant is a good strategy--I don’t think Hira has a great comeback for that. And of course, hearing Kiyoi call him that had an effect. But the best bit, to my mind, was “I look best when I’m in your photos.” So danged sweet. And I bet he’s right.

I’ve noticed some folks who seem to have watched the episode on GaGa quoting Kiyoi as saying, “Take photos of me. In the same world.” Viki translates this as “Take photos of me. In the same industry.” The latter seems more likely to me. It’s more specific and on-topic. I’ll have to see what more detailed fansubs have to say on the subject. If Hira could become a professional photographer, their work stuff could overlap in some ways, and of course Kiyoi would like that. Though one thing he hasn’t talked about is the fact that Hira still refuses to photograph any person other than Kiyoi. If he wants to go into that field, then unless he gets into a specific area like landscape photography or, I don’t know, taking pictures of food, he’ll have to be willing to photograph non-Kiyoi human beings.

Hira didn’t get a lot of chances to show growth in this episode, but I think he was more receptive to Kiyoi’s changes in behavior than he would have been at one point in their relationship. And he agreed to enter the contest, which was a big stretch for him.

The setup factor notwithstanding, this was a good episode. I was excited to see the progress the characters are making. The prospect of a season 2 was a bit scary. If the characters had just regressed back to season 1 behavior completely, it would have been demoralizing. If they had resolved all of their problems and were being all mature and perfect all the time, it would have been dull. But I think the story is walking a good line between those extremes.

#utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare 2 #hira x kiyoi #hira kazunari #kiyoi sou

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quinloki · 9 months

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hello, sorry if this is too real of an ask if you're not feeling too well recently, but I've been meaning to ask if you have any advice when it comes to tackling really dark topics in fanfics?? I've been meaning to write a darkfic with the Kid pirates main 4 as slasher movie villains (think Jason Voorhees vibes) with a touch of yandere tendencies, so there's not gonna be a lot of comfort/fluff in this fic. this is naturally gonna be hard to write especially when it comes to wanting to write dark and disturbing scenes without wanting to glorify or romanticise abusive behavior or stockholm syndrome, not to mention not wanting to upset or trigger survivors, especially as one myself, so any advice would be lovely. thank you ^-^

I’m going to start this off with what I think should be your most important takeaway from this:

It’s okay to romanticize abuse in fiction.

It’s okay to romanticize horror, murder, etc. etc. in fiction.

Fiction is where we can do the really uncomfortable stuff. Where we can explore the darks part of existing, because it’s good to be able to go “I connect with this and I should consider why.” Or “this brings me comfort, how can I break that down?” Stuff like that.

Sometimes it helps us realize a view or understanding we had that we thought was good is inherently flawed. (I am reminded of viewers being very angry when they realized the character in The Boys they connected with was *not* a good guy and did not get redeemed.)

What we have to be careful about is not condoning such themes in reality.

Horror movies and books go into deep dark territory all the time, but often hobby writers can be held to odd standards by comparison, which gets a bit frustrating at times.

How to avoid that AND present dark fic properly?

On Ao3 and tumblr just tag your story - character death, gore, stalking, Stockholm syndrome, abuse, toxic relationship, dubcon, noncon as applicable, excessive descriptions of blood and gore, etc.

You don’t have to get specific - you don’t have to say who dies/survives. You can admit to “this has a bad end” if you want - I had a webcomic warn me about that and it was NOT kidding.

Some responsibility is on the writer for dark fic, yes, but honestly that’s just in terms of being sure you label it well. Avoiding and heeding those tags is solely on the reader - as long as you didn’t, say, write about disarticulation in exacting detail without warning “excessive descriptions of blood and gore”.

You can put additional warnings in the summary, or even as a heads up before a particularly intense chapter.

And, you’re not going to be perfect. If someone says “hey can you add [x] tag?” Be open to it - but don’t add any and every tag requested - sometimes people can be demanding in tag requests and you have the right to decide where the line really is.

For example someone might ask that you add a tag involving eye-trauma. It’s a squick of mine, people getting injured on, in, around their eyes, and I wouldn’t be upset with a heads up - but I also think it’s covered under warnings of gore.

Someone might ask that you tag a specific character’s death - personally? I wouldn’t. “Character death” is enough. “Slasher/horror” honestly should really be enough cause even though I don’t watch horror movies I have a keen understanding that you do not get attached to characters in a horror story.

As long as you hit the broad strokes, I think that’s enough. The idea is that no one wants to walk into a slasher when they were expecting fluff.

As for taking care of ourselves as writers while we write dark content, that’s harder to give advice on. I really have to be in a steady frame of mind to write dark stuff, but if I know there’s vindication in there somewhere it’s much easier. (There’s a stalker in A Light Touch that gets his due and as someone who has had more than 6, it was cathartic to write.)

But sometimes there’s catharsis in the bad guy winning too. You’ve got to understand those lines for yourself - I can’t really give you advice cause it’s so different for everyone. But listen to yourself.

If it feels like a slog, leave it.

If it’s not getting out of your mind, write it.

You’re not “weird” if you write your darkest shit when you’re happiest, or vice versa. What you need to do is just keep an eye on yourself - there is no world in which you should suffer in order to write “good dark content”.

For better or worse, that’s the best advice I have - I hope it’s helped ^_^

#quin answers #quin muses #writing advice

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max1461 · 6 months

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Ok, right. Suppose you have [incredibly broad category]. Suppose among those who are involved in some way with [incredibly broad category], there are [cool people doing interesting stuff] and [incredibly Annoying people] and [others]. This is true for almost any [incredibly broad category], by virtue of it being incredibly broad, ya feel? Right, so suppose you're me, and your primary exposure to [incredibly broad category] has been in the form of [cool people doing interesting stuff]. Why? Well because I seek out cool people and interesting stuff, and avoid Annoying people, so naturally it would be so. But there's another type of guy, a Type Of Guy who's primary exposure to [incredibly broad category] is [incredibly Annoying people]. Why? Idk, maybe this guy seeks out Annoying people to be annoyed at. It's a common behavior.

Ya feel me? Ya feel me so far?

Well this can be a source of tension. Cause I want to post about the cool people and the cool stuff they're doing. Cause I think it's cool, right. And sometimes I reference [incredibly broad category] in describing these people. Not because I think [incredibly broad category] is inherently Good, or whatever, just because like. Ya gotta describe people, right, ya gotta describe shit somehow. And because I'm me, I am immensely careful to be circumspect in my phrasing, and avoid the implication as best I can that [incredibly broad category] is a priori Good, because of course it isn't, it's too incredibly broad for that. But I do spend most of my time focusing on the good parts of it, because of course I do. I like thinking and talking about things that I like instead of things that I dislike! Sue me!

But the above mentioned Guy, well, this Guy naturally spends a lot of time dunking on [incredibly Annoying people]. And often they reference [incredibly broad category] in describing these people. Not necessarily because they think [incredibly broad category] is inherently Bad (idk if they think this or not), just because like. Ya gotta describe people, right, ya gotta describe shit somehow. And because they're not me, they are not immensely careful to be circumspect in their phrasing, and to avoid the implication that [incredibly broad category] is a priori Bad. Even though of course it isn't, it's too incredibly broad for that.

So they see my posts and probably pick up the implication that I'm at least somewhat sympathetic to the [incredibly Annoying people], whether that's true or not, which makes them (I infer) a little annoyed with me by association. Not necessarily very much. And I see their posts and pick up the implication that they are somewhat excessively critical of the [cool people doing interesting stuff] and the interesting stuff those people do. And indeed this implication has sometimes been backed up, at moments where I feel they have unfairly dismissed the [cool people doing interesting stuff] or lumped them in with the [incredibly Annoying people]. And this kind of makes me feel worse whenever I see it, makes me feel a little bit negative when I'm trying to engage with stuff I think is cool, and so on.

No one is like, objectively in the wrong here. Idk. You can be a hater on your blog, that's your right. I was being a Dark Souls hater the other day, which I'm sure pissed some people off. Sometimes you gotta Hate, on your internet blog, and that's fine. But I know when I do it, at least, I do feel some responsibility to make it lighthearted, to make clear that it's merely an expression of preference and that I bear no ill will in it. Just because this mode of Hating, IMO, avoids the above scenario better (and is more accurately representative of my actual feelings on the issue, too). And when I am not being lighthearted, when I am seriously Against something, I try to be very careful to distinguish it from all the maybe-similar-seeming stuff that I am not Against, again to avoid the above.

I probably don't always succeed at this. And realistically it is not any random internet user's responsibility to think this hard about any of this. But I do think it's nice to try.

And, I also admit that when I see this kind of thing play out, I'm usually a bit more sympathetic to the Liker than the Hater, which I guess is just a reflection of the fact that I think love is better than hate, and shit. Ya know. I like liking stuff, and I tend to side with the people who like stuff. Liking stuff makes life better and hating stuff makes it worse. Well I mean, obviously it depends on the stuff. But I do think we should have a general predilection for liking over hating. I'm more sympathetic to this position.

#vaguing #navel gazing

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theycallmequeenie · 1 year

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Yondu x Reader Part 5

A/N: Okay all this one got away from me a bit and sorta took off on its own and to be utterly honest I haven’t got the foggiest idea of where this is going at all. I wish to apologize for the excessive run-on sentences/paragraphs. You’d think by now I’d know what I was doing and be a pro at this. Anyway here it is please enjoy ~Queenie.

Master List

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5:

Yondu took her back to his quarters and got her into his shower, letting her shower in peace he set to arranging his room to accommodate both of them. Tonight, he wasn’t letting Y/N out of his sight he was afraid that if he were to leave her by herself, she would focus far too much on the negative things about them as a couple that were intent on creeping into her mind. At least if he were there to hold her through the night, she wouldn’t be alone with just her thoughts.

He knocked on the door that led to the shower and told her that he would be right back he was running over to her quarters for a moment to grab her sleep clothes and a change of clothes for her in the morning. She tried to argue with him, but he was gone as quick as he had appeared. By the time she was finished and drying off Yondu returned and shyly handed off her pajamas that she insisted on wearing even though Yondu insisted that they weren’t lady like. Yondu grumbled the entire time Y/N dressed, but once she stepped out of his bathroom he stopped in an instant. In awe of simplistic beauty.

Y/N tucked a strand of wet hair behind her ear, starting to turn a light shade of pink, again, under Yondu’s gaze. She wasn’t used to such attention. Back home she was always too plain or too boring or something along those lines for the guys back home. Yondu’s enamored stare was still a new concept for her. She watched the blue man before her questioningly pondering his intentions in her mind. He had never been this insistent on her staying with him before. She didn’t fear him, but this was a new thing for him and between them.

Yondu, again, could sense the apprehension coming off her Y/N’s body. To sooth her concerns he gave her a gentle smile before speaking to calm her, “It’s alright, Darlin’. Only thing that’s goin’ to happen in here t’night is sleeping. No funny business, I promise. I just want ta make sure that mind of your’s don’t go getting’ to ya and messin’ up what we got goin’ here. I want nothin’ but your company t’night, Darlin.”

Nodding Y/N agreed that staying with her captain tonight would probably be for the best because she sure did have a lot wandering through her mind that could have potentially done damage to their budding relationship. She knew what her mind did all too well and this was the one thing that she didn’t want it to mess up.

She whispered a soft, “Okay Captain.” And moved closer to him, reaching out a hand hoping for him to take it. Which he did and gently pulled her into his arms, kissing her gently on her forehead hoping the innocent gesture would calm her evident nerves. It did. She rested her head on his chest and smiled against it.

Yondu pulled her back from him again offering that same harmless inviting smile as he spoke to her, “Now Darlin’ you gonna be okay with me sleeping shirtless? I know you ain’t quite ready for me sleepin’ in da buff…” He gave Y/N a wink as he finished speaking and looked her in the eyes waiting on his answer.

Y/N offer him a shy smile in return and nodded in response, “That’s fine Cap. You know I don’t mind seeing you shirtless. It’s quite an impressive sight in my opinion.” She offered him a wink of her own and a mischievous little grin and let go of her Captain.

Yondu felt saddened by the loss of contact with her and smiled and gave her a gentle and playful swat across her bottom, “Alright Darlin’, git on dat bed and git yourself comfortable. I’m goin’ to get myself ready fir bed and I’ll be right out.”

Y/N squeaked in surprise at the swat and nodded again listening to Yondu and situated herself on one side of the bed making sure to leave more than enough room for him. This was going to be a new experience for her as she had been an only child without many close friends and have never shared a bed with anyone before let alone a romantic interest. She had never actually slept with anyone else in the room much less with someone next to her in the bed.

As she was lost in these thoughts and fussing with the little bit of the covers, she had allowed herself to take Yondu had stepped out of the bathroom and watched her for a moment in complete silence, smiling to himself. While he wasn’t going to actually “have” his woman, he still had her in his bed for the night and in his opinion this way was far more intimate than if he were to have sex with her. He definitely wanted that at some point with her but tonight was all about holding her tight though the night and, hopefully, calming any and all concerns that her mind could throw at her. They had been so close to that point earlier much like other times that week only to be interrupted, again. It was always something on that ship it seems that fortunately the only ones that have caught him and Y/N in his quarters together were Peter and Tullk. Neither of them would end up telling anyone on the ship. Thankfully.

Neither Y/N nor Yondu was prepared for the almost guaranteed crap fest that would come from the rest of the crew finding out about their relationship. They both knew there would be at least a fight if not a full-blown riot from the rest of Yondu’s Ravager crew. Yondu didn’t want that on his hands just yet and he knew for certain his woman wasn’t ready for all of that chaos. He knew his crew would think him soft and that Y/N was trying to sleep her way to first mate despite being one of the only ones on the ship that was willing to do every bit of maintenance and cleaning and what not that none of the other will do. Yondu had talked many times with Y/N over the year plus that Y/N had been with him and his crew about the first mates’ position on the ship and she has flat out refused it every time it came up. She was perfectly content with her ‘generic run of the mill grunt’ position. He knew she was happy with the minimal preferential treatment she was given. The separate quarters from the rest of the crew and things like that.

All these things passed through Yondu’s mind as he walked from the bathroom to his bed and laid down on his back lifting his left arm inviting the timid Y/N to curl into his side and lay her head in his chest. Reassuring her that it was alright and that she was safe. Telling her that he wasn’t sure of the exact name of this on Terra, but he called it ‘Snugglin’ which as she was inching away from the wall she had been hugging and closer to him she let out a light giggle telling him that was essentially what they called it there too.

As he was lowering his arm around Y/N he felt her tentatively reach her arm across his abdomen and lightly place her hand on his chest as he softly assured her that it was okay, she rested her head on his chest and was asleep in moments.

But the sleep was short lived as she shifted away from him only a couple hours later and jumped awake momentarily forgetting why she wasn’t in her bed, waking Yondu with her sudden gasp.

Yondu jumped ready to protect both Y/N and himself only to realize there was no tangible threat in the room when he discovered her sitting up trying to stop the slight tremble she had woken up with. He immediately started trying to sooth Y/N telling her she was alright and that she was safe. He gently wrapped an arm around her to try to stop her trembling. This seemed to sooth her well enough as he murmured soothing words in her ears, he felt a shaky hand on his upper thigh and could just about feel Y/N turning bright red at her own brazen actions and in a soft voice he heard her whisper his name…

To Be Continued…

@capitanostella

Part 6

#queeniesmusings #queenies fanfiction #queenies fic #Guardians of the Galaxy #guardians of the galaxy fandom #guardians of the galaxy fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy #Yondu Udonta #yondu imagines #yondu fanfiction #yondu udonta x reader #yondu fanfic #yondu fic #yondu imagine #yondu udonta imagine #yondu udonta fanfiction #yondu udonta fic #happy reading

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tworoadsandapenny · 11 months

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Family for the Holidays

This was my first attempt at a Christmas story, AND my first attempt at a SAINW story. Two birds, one stone. As with the others, it could certainly do with an edit after all these years, but will I ever take the time to do so? Probably not. So you'll just have to excuse my excessive repetition.

~~~~~~

Raphael stood in the alley, trash dancing on the cold breeze that nipped at his skin. It was miserable out, but how was that different than any other day? Everything was miserable all the time. Winter, summer, warm, cold, didn't matter.

The world had gone to pot. And Raph couldn't care less anymore.

A shiver ran down his spine as the wind picked up. He tugged the collar of his coat closer, trying to shut out the cold as he watched his breath puff in front of him. It made him think of smoking… damn he could use a drag right about now, but he'd promised Mikey he'd quit. And while he broke that on a regular basis, he at least wanted to be sure he didn't smell like he did. Not today.

He growled in annoyance as the cold bit through his jacket while he leaned against the wall. Where the heck was this jerk? If he thought Raph was gonna wait out here in the cold all day, the idiot had another thing coming. The only reason he even showed in the first place was because of Mikey.

Poor kid. Every time Raph thought of what happened to him, his gut burned with fiery rage that was only quelled by wave after wave of guilt. Mike had just been trying to help people… he didn't deserve this. Raph could have helped. He could have kept his brother safe.

If he'd been there.

But he'd been too busy drowning in anger and wallowing in grief, holed up in his little shack at the edge of what was left of this desecrated city. Mikey had called him to help, but he just couldn't do it. Helping strangers, protecting the innocent, fighting in this damn war, he couldn't do any of it anymore. There was no point. Everything was ruined. Destroyed. Gone.

Everything.

They'd lost enough fighting for the rest of the world. Lost too much. And Raph didn't see any reason to lose what he had left for a bunch of thankless, ungrateful humans.

He hadn't even considered what would happen if Mikey went in without backup…

Another shudder ran up his spine as stronger gusts of wind slapped him in the face, biting into his cheeks.

That was it. Clearly he was being made the butt of some asshole's joke, and he wasn't wasting any more time standing in this blizzard.

"You came?"

The voice was behind him and Raph had to keep himself from jumping in surprise; it had been a long time since anyone had been able to sneak up on him. Only one guy he knew who could do that. "It's for Mikey." He said flatly, no further explanation needed.

"Wouldn't be the first time you ignored the family in a time of crisis."

Ouch. Raph's face twisted into a deep frown, hiding the sting of guilt with anger. "I'm not the one who abandons family to their death. That's your job."

He could physically feel his brother tense, his cold eyes cast down to the snow.

The two stood in silence, palpable tension threatening to go off like a bomb at any moment. Both were angry. Both had a grudge to bear. Both wanted to leave.

But neither would.

They were here for a reason. A damn good one at that, or Raph wouldn't have made the trek all the way out here. And he sure as hell wouldn't be putting up with sir holier-than-thou. But good reason or not, he had to admit the temptation to flee was powerful. Being around his brother for any length of time brought his remorse back full force, like a dagger twisting in his stomach.

It made him furious. He made Raph furious.

Better get this over with before he let his anger get the better of him again. "We doin' this, or what?"

No response. The elder was as still as the ice beneath his feet. Raph suppressed another shiver as he stared at his brother.

"Leo?"

"This way." The older turtle walked ahead, the black ends of his trench coat whipping in the wind.

Raph couldn't help a smirk. "Ain't there a saying about the blind leading the blind?"

Shots fired. "That would make you blind too."

Raph rolled his eyes, it was supposed to be a joke. Damn. And he thought Leo had no sense of humor back in the good ol' days.

Easy enough to lose, he supposed… in a world like this.

The two stealthily made their way to an abandoned basement warehouse not far from the alley they'd just been in. It was old, falling apart, and reeked of sewage.

Almost felt like home.

Raph stepped inside and eyed the space curiously, thankful for the reprieve from the cold. Well… it wasn't much. The sides were cracking, old empty crates and barrels littered the floor, and bullet holes gaped from the walls like open wounds. Likely an old storehouse for the resistance that had been discovered by Shredder's forces at one point or another. Didn't look like they'd been back since.

The room looked like Raph felt: hallow, empty, and abandoned. "This is it?"

"You were expecting more?"

Raph paused. When they'd agreed to this, he'd thought Leo had some sort of elaborate plan –as he always did- to deck the place out like they used to do the lair. This empty slab of cement was hardly what he'd pictured. Sure, for a hideout it was ideal: small, dark, hidden from sight; perfect for a guy trying to run from the world. But they weren't here for him. And this just wouldn't do.

"Well yeah, Leo, this doesn't exactly scream festive." He crossed his arms as he glanced around, trying to find anything that might liven the place up a bit. But aside from the one broken lamp in the corner, there wasn't much to work with.

Leo kicked a box in his direction. "Decorations are in there." His voice was bitter, clearly not impressed by the lack of enthusiasm.

Tough. Raph was in no mood for holding back. He opened the box and pulled out something from inside. "…an old sock?"

"Stocking." Leo corrected.

Raph dug through the pile of rejected objects: some candles, some holly, a bit of tinsel and— wow. "Are these holiday lights?" He gawked. "I didn't know they still existed. Where'd you get 'em?"

The elder shrugged. "An old friend."

Raph didn't appreciate the obscurity, but was too distracted by the string of florescent bulbs to start a fight. It had literally been decades since he'd seen them last. "Well… it ain't much." He finally said, looking over their sorry lot of decorations. Certainly not enough to deck the halls, but possibly at least a corner?

"I suggest you get creative." Leo said, his back still to his brother.

"Me? Thought the point of meetin' up early was so we both could pitch in."

"We are. I found the decorations, you're putting them up."

Raph scoffed. "Right. 'Cause God-forbid you actually lend a brother a hand."

Leo's features hardened as he froze in place. His hands curled into fists as he turned to his brother, stalking towards him. For a moment, Raph thought the elder was going to punch him. He tensed, readying himself for such an attack, when Leo bent down and picked up the stocking, tacking it to a nearby crate. "Satisfied?"

Raph blinked at the gesture. "One sock? That's the best you can do?"

"Stocking. And as you were so kind to point out, there's not much there."

Taking a deep breath, Raph tried not to knock the smugness from his brother's voice with a hard punch to the face. If it were any other day…

"I can't do much else anyway."

His muttered confession—almost broken and guilty—drained the fight from Raph's tank immediately . He stared at his brother for a long moment, trying to find any depth of emotion in his eyes to confirm the words hadn't been imagined.

Nothing. If he was hard to read when he had sight, he was completely impossible now.

Anger still prickling, ready to flair at any flinch, Raph watched Leo's hand absently feel the stocking as if he was trying to remember what it looked like. His gaze found the ground, growling in annoyance. "Fine. I'll do it myself."

He hung the holly over the small street level window, and slung the tinsel over a nearby broken piece of plastic casing.

Leo placed the candles on the tallest barrel he could find, knowing Raph would need some light to work by as night came upon them.

Raph dug through the box to see what was left and came across two items he hadn't noticed before. "You're not serious." He said, deadpan.

Leo cocked an eye ridge. "What?"

Raph held up two hats, a bandana with reindeer antlers in one hand and a Santa hat in the other. "Ain't no way I'm wearing one of these."

The elder shrugged. "Thought Mikey'd get a kick out of it."

"It ain't him I'm thinking of kickin' right now."

Leo's eyes rolled at the comment as he snatched the antlers from Raph's hands and placed them in his coat. "Do what you want."

Raph's hands curled into fists once again, anger bubbling to the surface. And there was that damn tone, the one Leo used to say 'do what you want' when he was really saying 'do what I tell you'. Damn it pissed Raph off something fierce. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself.

Ignore Leo and think about Mikey. Mikey would probably laugh at the stupid accessories…

Grumbling his annoyance, Raph stuffed the Santa hat in his coat pocket, swearing not to wear it until he had to, and only just so Mikey could see it once. Then he'd throw it in the snow or stuff it down Leo's throat…

Calm. Stay calm.

All that was left was the lights.

Raph pulled them from the box, eyeing them curiously; what were they supposed to do with one sorry string of lights that wouldn't make the place look as pathetic and dismal as it really was?

"You could make a tree."

Raph glared at his brother; even without his sight, Leo could still read him like an open book. He'd forgotten how much that pissed him off. "Oh yeah? And just how would I manage that? Wrap it around a barrel?"

Leo only pointed to the lamp and Raph idly wondered how on earth his brother knew it was there. But he caught on to the idea the elder was driving at, stifling a growl at actually thinking it was a good one.

He dragged the shadeless lamp from it's sad little corner, propping it up in the middle of the room. Lights in hand, he tied one end around the base of the bulb, guiding the length of fluorescents to the floor, tucking an end under the base, and drawing it back up to the bulb again, repeating the motion once more so there were three strands cascading from the top of the lamp in an almost pyramid shape.

Leo plugged the lights in just as Raph finished, a colorful glow taking over the room.

Raph stepped back to gaze at his creation, actually quite proud of it. Best damn tree he'd seen in years.

"Looks crooked."

"Ya know what Leo—!" He stopped, realizing too late that it had been a joke. Leo cocked an eye ridge as Raph growled. "Forget it. You decorate next time."

"Then it would really be crooked."

Raph couldn't help a small smirk. The wave of nostalgia from quipping with his brother like this was unexpected. But being that this was the first time in years they'd been in the same room without going for each other's throats, he supposed it should feel like old times.

The two stood in silence for several long minutes. It felt… right, being here together, talking like nothing had happened. Neither turtle wanted to break the spell. Whatever it was that had stayed their anger for each other was welcome, even if neither would ever admit it.

The quiet of the room stretched on for several more minutes as the wind outside howled it's contention.

Leo finally moved, almost apologetic in his tone. "He'll be here soon. I have to get my gift."

"Yeah, me too." Raph mentally sighed at the idea of going back into the cold again.

The two headed for the door, opening it to see snow whipping around in gusts of unrelentingly cold wind. Leo flipped up his collar, stepping outside. "Don't get lost in the blizzard, Raphael."

"What was that?" Raph's curt reply was met with nothing but air; Leo had already disappeared into the snow. "Hmph. Blind asshole." He stood in the doorway a moment, caught off guard by the use of his full name. It'd been so long since he'd heard it, his own name sounded strange to him. Leo probably did that on purpose.

Grumbling out an annoyed breath, Raph pulled his coat tighter around himself, trying to stay the wind from biting his flesh again.

It was for Mikey. Focus on Mikey.

He could put up with Leo for Mikey.

Less than half an hour later, Raph found himself standing alone in the warehouse, all lights and candles out so as to keep the decorations a secret, neither of his brothers in sight, and the Santa hat adorning his head. He flicked the white fluff ball on the end of the hat, not entirely sure why he was wearing it, but refusing to take it off until Mikey saw. Despite trying to convince himself to the contrary, Raph was excited to see his younger brother's reaction to their little surprise. It wasn't much, that was for sure, but Mikey had always delighted in the small things. At least… he used to. It had been a while since Raph had seen the young turtle after his decision to fight with the resistance. Guilt burned like a stoked fire at the thought; he held no greater regret in life than not being there for Mikey. He hated that they almost never spoke and that it took something like the loss of a limb to bring them together.

But seeing Mikey usually led to seeing Leo. And Raph hated seeing his older brother. Hated calling him that or acknowledging they were related in any way. Hated the way Leo seemed above everything: the war, the people fighting in it, the people avoiding it. Hated the way he barely spoke and when he did it was with a voice so foreign Raph almost didn't recognize it. Hated seeing his scarred face and his dead eyes. His blind, dead eyes…

Raph idly toyed with the idea that Leo wouldn't return. Got lost in the blizzard, took a wrong turn down an alley, decided he was too tired and headed home. The notion brought a cruel smile to his lips; would serve him damn right. Best gift Raph could ask for this holiday season.

His anger subsided for the briefest of moments to allow shame to seep through. He shouldn't think about Leo like that. What if something actually did happen to him…?

He shook his head. It would serve him damn right.

After another few minutes, the idea that something was wrong started digging it's claws into Raph's mind. Leo could rot out in the cold for all he cared, but Mikey… if anything happened to that kid, Raph was going to raise all hell.

Anything else happened to him, anyway.

Another pang of guilt sprang from Raph's gut, making him sigh in annoyance. Maybe this was a bad idea… he wanted to be there for his brother, more than anything in the world. But what if Mikey didn't want to see them? What if he'd only agreed to this little meet up because it was tradition or because he knew Raph and Leo could find him if he didn't show?

What if he blamed them for what happened to him? What if he was angry about it and was only gonna show up to ream them out about how he never wanted to see them again.

Raph wouldn't blame him if he did. They deserved it. Damn, did they ever deserve it.

But the idea of his baby brother being furious with him was enough to make him swallow a hitch in his breath. If Mikey of all people was finished with him, Raph truly had no one to live for anymore. He had nothing.

Hearing footsteps outside, Raph's hands instinctively went for his sai as he snuck behind the stairs, waiting in the shadows. The light of day had all but disappeared, so if anyone came looking for trouble, it'd be easy enough to do away with them without drawing a crowd of Foot cops. Friend or foe, he was thankful for the interruption to his thoughts; his mind kept picturing Mikey's face, full of hatred and anger, glaring at him in contempt. It hurt like a bullet to the chest.

Crouching as the door creaked open, Raph waited with the patience of a lion ready to pounce. Breathing steadily as the figure moved down the stairs. he held his sai tight, excited at the prospect of a fight to take his frustrations out on. On the final stair, Raph wasted no time; he pounced, jumping behind the figure with lightning speed, holding his sai to his… nun chuck? When had the intruder even moved to raise a weapon?

Raph knew those armaments anywhere. "Mikey?"

"Heck of a greeting there, bro." There was a pause before he added, with more than a hint of mockery, "Nice hat."

The sound of his brother's voice was equally as comforting as it was heart wrenching; his tone had grown gruff, weary from battle over the years. Another somber reminder of the hell they lived in. But damn was it good to hear him again. "You shouldn't sneak up on a turtle like that, I almost dug out your carotid!" He chided, curt tone firmly in place to hide his excitement. "You're lucky I wasn't a Foot Cop."

"I knew it was you." Mikey's lips curled up in a childish grin. "Could smell you a half a block away- when was the last time you showered, bro?"

The smile was unexpected and Raph didn't have time to hide it, so he simply shook his head. Only Mikey… "Don't start with me, bonehead. Hurt or not, I ain't above kickin' your shell from here to New Jersey." He threw an arm over his brother's shoulder, pulling him down into a spirited headlock as he dug the knuckle of his hand into Mikey's skull. Never too old for a noogie.

Mikey laughed, a short burst of joy from the nostalgic 'just like old times' feeling that swept through his body. "Just Jersey? You're losin' your touch, bro. Gettin' feeble in your old age?"

"That's it, keep diggin'." Raph growled playfully, pulling Mikey tighter into the hold.

"Who're you calling old?"

The voice caught both brothers off guard, Raph once again reflexively going for his sai, turning so Mikey was slightly behind him.

The younger seemed unphased by the intrusion as his smile widened, nearly reaching his eyes. "Leo!"

The black trench coated turtle stepped from the shadows, arms crossed as he seemed to make a conscious effort to remain a good distance from Raph. He felt his youngest sibling suddenly throw his arm around his chest and tensed a moment. It had been so long since he'd been touched in such a manner that, for a moment, he forgot how he was to proceed. Understanding set in quickly, the tiniest of smiles ghosting across his lips while his arms returned the embrace.

"It's so good to see you, dudes." Mikey flicked the antlers atop his brother's head, more than amused at how ridiculous it made him look. "Especially looking so festive."

"I would say the same, but…" Leo touched his glasses and shrugged, drawing a small chuckle from Mikey. When they pulled from the embrace, Leo felt the bandage on his brother's arm, reality suddenly dropping on their moment. All three turtles fell silent as Leo held his hand over the bandages, his tone growing grave and serious. "…Does it hurt?"

Mikey reached for the stumpy remnant on his arm, wrapping his fingers around it as he pulled from Leo's touch. "Sometimes." Sometimes it was as though he could still feel the part that was gone. Something about 'phantom limb' something or other? He hadn't been paying attention when April explained it.

Raph stared from his spot a few feet away, unwilling to look at his brother's missing limb yet unable to pull his eyes away from it. Guilt, regret, anger, all three swirling in his stomach, mixing into a concoction of emotion that made him want to book it from the room, find the nearest Foot lair, and bash skulls until exhaustion took him. Another time, he supposed.

"But hey, at least now I can say I have the coolest scar! Leo's been up on that pedestal for years!"

It never ceased to amaze Raph how his younger brother's mind worked. That endless positivity still undamaged by war and the cold bitterness that had consumed the older siblings, body and soul. Mikey always had been the strongest, Raph knew. "Enough with the small talk. Turn the lights on already."

Mikey shook his head, turning his shell to his brothers as he moved to the nearest wall. "Do you practice getting grumpier, or does it just come naturally with age?" As he flicked the switch, multicolored lights danced across the room, giving him pause. He turned to see the makeshift Christmas tree lamp in the middle of the room, alighting the scattered decorations about the window and boxes. "…You guys decorated?"

The sparkle in Mikey's eyes as he stared at the lights dragged yet another smile from Raph's features unwillingly. He hated to admit it, but Leo had done good finding those. The thought brought his eyes over to the elder, nodding his approval only because he knew Leo wouldn't see it. "Thought you could use some festive cheer." He finally replied, slinging an arm over Mikey's shoulder. "It ain't Rockefeller Center, but then, neither is Rockefeller anymore."

It wasn't just the lights and the holly and the pitiful little stocking hanging on the box. And It wasn't just that this was the first time in over a decade Mikey felt any amount of festive cheer rise up inside him. It was that his older brothers had done it. Despite not being able to stay in the same room for five minutes without throwing a fist each other–verbal or physical- Raph and Leo still cared enough to do all this. For him.

Mikey'd almost forgotten how much they cared. Or that they did at all.

"It's… amazing." As if the goofy grin taking over his face wasn't enough of a tell-all. "Lemme guess, Leo set up the tree?"

"What makes you say that?" The elder turtle spoke quietly, still sticking to his corner by the shadows.

"It's crooked."

A knowing grin curled the edges of Leo's mouth as Raph growled, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

Mikey chuckled at the mental image of Raph trying to set this up while Leo told him if it was straight or not. It was then that a familiar smell crawled up his nostrils, sending his taste buds whirling with excitement. "Dudes… you smell that?"

Raph was about to make a comment on Mikey's intelligence for making a gas joke at their age, when suddenly Leo pulled something from the shadows near the door. "…Is that…?"

"Pizza!?" Mikey's face lit up anew, staring at the square box in awe. It had been at least five years since the last time he even smelled a pizza, let alone ate one. Snatching it from his brother's hands to make sure it was real, the young turtle was already drooling. "Where the shell'd you manage to get this, Leo?"

"An old friend." Was all he offered in response. "I also brought something to warm us up." He picked up a small thermos from the ground with three mugs.

"What are you, Santa Clause?" Raph huffed as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, trying not to let on how impressed he was at all Leo had managed to put together for this event. "You got a sleigh and eight reindeer to go along with that magic bag of yours?"

The blind turtle didn't dignify that with a response, only tossing Raph a mug and the thermos, which he caught easily enough. "Shut up and pour the drinks." He moved swiftly to take the pizza back from Mikey before it was inhaled in a single gulp, earning him a look that he didn't have to see to know it was a pout.

The three gathered around the lights, Raph handing them each a glass of warm hot chocolate. He made sure to give Leo the chipped 'I heart NY' cup; he was blind, what did he care if his mug was malformed.

Mikey took one sip and smiled as the heat of the drink warmed his tired muscles, soothing the ache in his bandaged arm. "Ah… Man, you guys really went all out this year! I don't think we've had a holiday this festive since…" His voice trailed off, suddenly realizing the road it had gone down, and knowing it was off limits. He could feel the other two tense as he spoke.

But since he'd already poked the bear, why not voice his concern? "It's just, with all that happened this year, I wasn't sure guys were gonna show. I thought maybe you'd left the city or something…"

Neither Raph or Leo dared speak, guilt and bitterness swirling around them like thick smoke. It made Raph itch for a cigarette as he sipped his coco, fervently wishing his mug had something a little stronger in it. Even the slight implication of their lives before the world exploded was enough to make him want to run and beat on the first thing he saw. Or at least to beat on Leo. But it hurt more to hear Mikey think they'd ditch him. The fact that their baby brother didn't know he could still count on his older siblings was a smack in the face. A well deserved one.

Leo seemed to be thinking the same thing because he placed a gentle hand on Mikey's shoulder. "We'd never leave you like that, Mikey. You know we wouldn't."

Mikey flinched. Did he? They'd abandoned each other, it wasn't much of a stretch to see them ditching him in the future. But he banished that train of thought before it could get a foothold. His brothers were here with him now. He should never have doubted.

"I'm…" Leo started, but the sentence faded like he was ashamed to finish. For the briefest moment, Mikey thought he saw guilt flash across his brother's scarred face, but it disappeared behind his mask in an instant. "…I'm sorry we weren't there for you… for this…" He held Mikey's bandage again, as though feeling it to try and form a mental picture. "We should have been."

Raph bowed his head, avoiding all eye contact. As much as he wanted to enjoy seeing Leo all pitiful and repentant, his guilt wouldn't allow it. They should have been there for Mikey. They should have been protecting him. That was their job as older brothers and they'd failed miserably at it.

Mikey deserved better.

But what's done was done and no amount of guilt was gonna change that. Or so Raph would tell himself until he could light a cigarette or crawl inside a bottle of vodka to ease the pain of it all.

"It wasn't your fault." Mikey tried at comfort. "I knew the risks when I took the mission without backup." Honestly, he didn't blame them for not showing up to help. Nor for the loss of his limb. And it was probably for the better that they hadn't come while he recovered, he wouldn't have wanted them to see him weak like that. Given how close a call it was for Mikey, he was convinced that if his brothers had been on the mission with him, they'd be dead, and then he'd be minus an arm and the rest of his family. He'd be alone. Forever.

That thought was what had bothered him. What had scared him most. When the pain was too much and his fever had gotten too high, he'd begged April to call them. They always showed when he was hurt. Always. So when they didn't, Mikey feared the worst. He thought they'd been taken by Shredder or fled the city or were already dead. How could they not have at least told him they were alright…?

The memory of his fear made him reach to hold his brother's hand atop his stump. "I'm just glad you guys are here now." Here, and trying to make him feel better like they used to when they were little. These few moments to see his family still safe were more than enough to dissipate any bitterness he'd harbored. The hats helped too…

"We're always here for ya, Mikey. Just say the word and we'll come runnin'. Always." Empty words, Raph thought, but he wanted to mean them. He wanted to be the kind of brother he used to be, the kind that did anything and everything to protect his family. The kind that would climb mountains and fight lions to stay with the two people he cared about most in this world. But he didn't have it in him anymore… he was a shell of the brother he'd once been. After Splinter… after Donnie… he'd failed too many times. He was weak, unable and unfit to protect those he loved. It was a truth he was slowly trying to accept. A truth that would always keep his family at arms length.

And there was Leo. This was all his fault in the first place. And Raph couldn't stand even looking at him because of that. His anger began to rise without prompt, so he quickly changed the subject. "Now enough with the sap, are we gonna open presents or what?"

That perked Mikey up right away. "Presents!" He shuffled on his knees a moment, trying to reach something in his belt. "Leo's first!"

The older turtle shook his head at his brother's excitement; he never changed, did he? Thank Goodness. He felt something thrust in his hands and ran his fingers around it. "…glasses?"

"Yeah, Morpheus called, said he wants his specs back." Mikey grinned, not even caring if his brothers remembered the reference. "Besides, those things have more cracks in them than your shell." Which was saying a lot.

It made no difference to Leo what his glasses looked like, he only wore them to hide the shame of his defeat. He didn't like the idea of anything flashy or overly stylish calling attention to his eyes, but if it would make Mikey happy… Besides, it would be nice to think of his baby brother when he fidgeted with them, instead of the dishonor. A welcome respite from his daily guilt-ridden routine. "Thanks Mikey."

As he took his original pair off to replace them, both younger brothers couldn't help but stare at his now exposed eyes. Blank and whitewashed, hiding a myriad of emotions and thoughts that neither would ever know. Mikey idly wondered what it must be like being in the dark all the time…

Eyes hidden once more behind dark glass, Leo turned to his brothers. "How do I look?"

Between the antlers and the tag still sticking out from the glasses, Raph couldn't decide which part made Leo look more ridiculous. But, admittedly, the specs were a nice change from his previous pair. Suited him better. He was surprised by the thought that Leo now looked more like Neo as opposed to Morpheus. How on earth did he still remember that movie?

"Badass, bro." Mikey nodded his approval. "Badass."

He'd never admit it, but Leo liked the sound of that. He took a moment to silently revel in the compliment before wondering who would give their gift next. Mikey answered his question with excitement in his voice.

"Raph's next!"

Leo bristled, suddenly unsure about the exchange. No time to find something else now, he supposed. He reached into his coat and pulled out a small, flat, rectangular package, and handed it to his brother. Cautiously. "Here."

Raph glared at Leo, taking the gift hesitantly. He knew Mikey picked Leo as his Secret Santa, and he'd promised himself he'd play it cool. No fists throwing tonight. Though mugs were never part of the deal…

Staring at the gift, Raph wondered how on earth his blind brother had managed to wrap it so neatly. He peeled back a piece of the paper, not sure what to expect, when a weight suddenly dropped on his chest, stealing his breath. His heart lurched in an all too familiar and painful way. It took all his strength to keep his hands from visibly trembling.

"What is it?" Mikey asked, trying to peek over Raph's shoulder. His smile faded the moment he saw the object in Raph's hands.

A family photo in a picture frame, the torn wrapping revealing the face of their missing brother, Donatello.

Leo felt the temperature of the room drop as everything fell silent. He knew it was a risky gift, but felt it necessary. Raph was as likely to throw it as him as he was to keep it.

He readied himself for the fallout.

As minutes passed, Raph's heart continued to jerk wildly in his chest, images of their lost brother attacking his memory with cold ferocity. Damn Leo. What the hell kind of a gift was this? Damn him!

The urge to throw the frame at his older brother's face was nearly uncontrollable, but Donnie stopped him. That smile, perfectly preserved in a snapshot of a life that could never be again, kept him still. If Raph still knew how to cry, he was sure he would be by now.

God, he missed Donnie.

He should be here. He should be wearing one of these goofy hats, sipping hot chocolate and jawing on about the way Raph could have set up the lights so they were at perfect angles to look like a real tree. He should be here to take care of Mikey, make sure his arm was gonna heal right, and tell him all the things he needed to hear to be comforted, 'cause Donnie was good at that crap.

He should be here instead of Leo. He should be here instead of Raph.

"Donnie…"

Mikey's whispered reverence finally broke the silence, drawing Raph's gaze to his sad smile. Dammit… they was supposed to be making the kid feel better, not dig up old wounds. Dammit Leo, what the hell were you thinking!? Breathing deep so as not to curse aloud, Raph set the photo down gently, not able to bring himself to open it the rest of the way.

"Your turn, numbskull. Here." Raph turned to grab a box he'd hidden away from the others, setting it down beside Mikey before returning to his spot. Surprising it had remained quiet… that could be a bad sign. Too late now.

Mikey's eyes widened at the size of the box as he picked it up. It was a lot lighter than expected.

"Don't shake it!" Raph said suddenly, causing Mikey to place the box down gently.

"Chillax bro, I ain't gonna break it."

"Will you just open it already, before the damn thing wakes up." Or at least he hoped it was asleep…

"Wakes up?" Both brothers spoke in unison, the same puzzled look across their faces. Mikey tore the lid off the box and peered inside. His eyes sparkled with delight at the sight: a baby kitten, white and orange in color, curled up in a ball, fast asleep. "A… kitty? You got me a kitty?" Adorable, but… odd.

"I found him outside my apartment the other day. I ain't no cat person, but it seemed cruel to leave him out in the cold. Only place I could think of he'd be safe is with you." And if Raph couldn't keep his brother company every day, at least someone could.

"Aw, the tin man has a heart!" Mikey gently reached into the box to pet the kitten, who'd woken and stretched, meowing at the intrusion to it's nap. As Mikey stroked it's fur, it's back arched, leaning into the touch even more. "I think he likes me!" Picking the cat up, Mikey held it close to his face, hearing it purr like a motor. "What're we gonna call you, little guy?" He stared at the orange and white critter, trying to think of something more creative than spot or fuzzy. "How about Klunk?"

"Klunk?" Raph chewed the name, finding it to be odd to the taste. "What kind of a name is that?"

"'Cause he fell into our lives!"

"Wouldn't that be more like 'thud'?" Leo wondered aloud.

Mikey thought it over a minute before shaking his head. "Nope, Klunk sounds right. What do you think, little guy?"

The cat couldn't be bothered to care about it's name, but it loved being held. It rubbed it's face against Mikey's, purring ever louder.

Raph smiled with a delight he hadn't felt in years, both at the cat's reaction and the twinkle in his brother's eye as the creature rubbed against him. He put his hand on Mikey's shoulder, feeling a sense of comradery overtake him. "I think he likes it. Looks like the cat's as weird as you are, Mike!"

"Says the guy in the Santa hat!" Mikey barked in laughter as the cat curled into his cheek, tickling his neck.

Leo listened to the exchange with a peaceful expression, sipping his coco, content to simply hear the joyful scene unfold. It was good to hear his brothers sound so relaxed. Amazing, actually. Good to hear them still so full of life.

Good to hear them still alive.

"Dudes, I just realized we're letting the pizza get cold!"

Leo shook his head at the despairing tone in his brother's voice. "Well we best not let it go to waste. Dig in."

Mikey snuggled the kitten close to his face, looking from Klunk curled up in his palm, to the pizza. He turned to Raph. "Can someone lend me a hand?" The awkward silence that followed made the young turtle smirk in victory as he shrugged. "Come on, I had to say it once!"

As Mikey placed the cat on his lap, Raph passed him a slice of pizza before taking one himself, thoroughly enjoying the flavor. He watched as Mikey fed the kitten some cheese, laughing as it tried to go for the rest of the slice. Mikey had always wanted a cat… And Raph couldn't deny the warm feeling that had spread through his veins as he watched his brother. He deserved to be happy.

Mikey of all people deserved to be happy.

The rest of the night was filled with quips, brotherly jabs, and jokes about Raph's close resemblance to The Grinch. They even reminisced a couple times without either Raph or Leo resorting to their usual anger-filled fistfights. That in itself was a Christmas miracle. There were several moments of tension filled remarks where it seemed like the two might fight, but one glance at their youngest brother had stayed their anger for another time.

Late into the merriment, Mikey had finally felt exhaustion settle in. He tried to keep his eyes open as long as possible, but it had been a very long day. And while being around his brothers had given him energy beyond what he thought he was capable of nowadays, he was only a month out of surgery and his body still hadn't caught up with him yet. Leo finally forced the party to a close, but only by reassuring Mikey that he and Raph would both still be there in the morning before saying their goodbyes.

Raph leaned against a box, arms folded as his eyes studied his younger brother's sleeping form curled up next to him, a hint of a grin still tracing his lips. He could never say it out loud, especially to Mikey's face, but he missed the kid. Fiercely. Anytime Raph was around him it was like he remembered how to breathe. Everything seemed clearer and he understood his place in the world.

Not like with Leo. It was the exact opposite with Leo.

Speak of the devil, Leonardo had finished stuffing the decorations back in the box and now approached their sleeping brother and his bodyguard. "He finally crash?"

"Out like a light." Raph noticed Klunk move to curl up near Mikey's good arm, attempting to steal warmth. It was getting a bit chilly in here as the night wore on. Reflexively, Raph brought a hand to his younger brother's shoulder, feeling the temperature of it. "He's cold." And Raph had already given his coat as a pillow.

"Here." The black trench coat was held at a distance, Leo clearly not wanting Raph to see him without it. And the younger turtle could see why; his brother had scars covering most of his body. Burns, cuts, bruises and more, all littering his skin and shell like a papier-mâché portrait. It made Raph sick. Not that he cared, but Leo should learn to take better care of himself.

Idiot.

Though admittedly, while it was Mikey that made the evening as cheerful as it was, Leo being there hadn't spoiled it entirely. It had been a very long time since Raph was able to be within the same city limit as his old leader without wanting to test his metal in a duel to the death. But tonight… it was almost like he'd been able to forget. Almost like none of this burning war raging around them ever happened.

Almost like they were a family again.

"Thank you." The words of gratitude from Leo were unexpected, bringing Raph's gaze to him after laying the coat over their younger sibling. "For coming. And mostly for staying. I know you didn't want to."

"Can it, Fearless. I wanted to be here as much as you." He saw Leo flinch at his old nickname, but didn't bother to say anything about it. "'Sides… it wasn't so bad."

"Crooked tree and all?"

"You know what, Leo?" Raph's tone was almost playfully angry. "I have a gesture for ya, if only you could see it."

"You don't have that finger."

"True. But it's the thought that counts."

A sigh of contentment escaped the sleeping turtle's lips, flipping both older siblings attention to him. Raph stared at his baby brother as he breathed deep. "You were right." The words tasted bitter in his mouth, but once they were out, there was no going back. "We shoulda been there for Mikey."

Leonardo remained crouched as he was, seeming almost like he was staring past Raph's shoulder. He said nothing, no words of rejection or objection, feeling the truth bore a hole in his heart.

"Never again. Next time, we're there. No excuses."

Again, Leo didn't argue.

It took several more minutes of strained, rigid silence before Raph finally spoke again, asking the question that had been bothering him all night. "What was with the picture? You knew how I'd feel about it." He knew Raph would take it hard, and likely refuse to look at it. So why bother?

"Thought you might need a reminder." Leo said plainly, sitting on a nearby crate.

"Reminder of what? Everything we lost?"

"Everything we still have to fight for." His lifeless eyes dropped to their baby brother, almost as though they could see him. "A reminder that you're not alone. That you still have family." Even if Leo wasn't considered a part of it.

Raph couldn't help but snap back. "Since when have you known me to need a reason to fight?"

That managed to pull a hint of a smile from the old leader. "Fair enough." But his tone grew grave immediately. "It's just… You've been… different, lately. Depressed. I thought—"

"Different?" Raph guffawed. "Leo, I ain't seen you since last Christmas, how in the shell would you know if I was different?" It took a great amount of effort to keep his voice low so as not to wake their baby brother, but Leo was treading on thin ice. Shouldn't have bothered to ask the damn question…

"I see you around the city." He could feel the confusion and immediate anger shot in his direction, so he quickly explained. "Not in person, obviously, I mean your work. It's not difficult to distinguish between a planned rebellion raid and a bad night of rage venting."

Raph almost felt a twinge of pride at that, even if his brother meant it as an insult.

"Normally when I come across your handiwork, it's… explosive. Passionate, even. But lately it's been more subdued."

Setting aside his disagreement—there was no way his late night rage brawls were getting subdued—Raph felt his hackles rising again. What was Leo trying to say, he was getting lazy or something? "So? Maybe I ain't been in a mood for explosives."

Leo paused a long moment, trying to decide whether to keep the conversation going or not. "…Okay. If you say so."

There was that damn tone again. Raph cracked his knuckles. "So that's it? You thought I was gettin' lazy and figured a picture of our dead brother was gonna help?"

Leonardo sighed. How did he explain this?

Over the years he'd seen his brother pull farther and farther away, losing himself to his fears and grief, and felt entirely helpless to do anything. Leo couldn't stand being in the same room as him, but being away was even worse. Because the fear that his brother would do something stupid and get himself killed was constant and powerful. He had to do something.

The picture was one Leo kept on his person at all times. It reminded him why he fought the Foot. Why he had to beat Shredder alone. Why he had to stay alive. And Raph needed that. Leo could hear it louder every time they met up. Whatever battle raged inside his brother that kept him from storming Shredder's lair on a suicide run was slowly being lost as the years passed.

Leo hoped a reminder of who they fought for would help keep Raph here. Keep him amongst the living.

Keep Leo and Mikey from having to burry yet another member of their family.

But of course, telling any of that to Raph would just set him off. "It helped me over the years. I thought it might help you too." Was all he could figure to say.

But his answer was sincere enough that it gave Raph pause to cool his head. He took a moment, trying to digest the idea, mulling it over in his brain as he breathed deep and released his anger. He couldn't help a glance at the frame, still lying on the floor with only the one tear revealing Donnie's face. Raph hated that it choked him to see his younger brother's picture, but it did. Choked the life from his lungs and stopped his heart cold.

He missed him. He missed Donnie so much. He missed his family. He missed Sensei, and April, and Casey. He missed Mikey. And yes, from time to time, he even missed Leo.

Shell.

"I can't promise I'll keep it." He finally said, his nonchalant tone covering any wavering emotions on the subject.

"I understand."

But he didn't understand. Leo'd never understand that such a simple object would become Raph's most treasured possession. That one measly photo would be what spurred Raph's fiery spirit a blaze in the years to come. That it would remain in his pocket, hidden from the world and protected at all times, giving him reasons to cling to life even in the worst situations.

Because Leo was right… he needed a reminder. He needed to remember his family, both living and dead. To remember he still had them to hold onto, even if from a distance.

"Leo," Raph could never admit to any of that. He still hated his brother. Hated him for not saving Don. Hated him for leaving Splinter to die. Hated him for not finding a way to end this stupid war.

But most of all, he hated him for being too blind to see that Raphael's rage was born of fear. He was afraid he was losing the rest of his family, so he pushed them away before it could happen. Because losing Splinter had been painful. Losing Donnie had been downright agony. And losing anyone else would be the end of it. His end.

"Yeah?"

Raph hated Leo because he still cared about him, and it pissed him off. But tonight. just for tonight, it didn't. Tonight being around Leo felt right. Tonight, seeing that picture brought memories, painful but refreshing. Tonight he was happy to remember he still had family. Always.

Looking down at his baby brother, smiling in his sleep, Raph breathed deep, feeling a peace of mind come over him that he'd thought had been lost nearly a decade ago. The peace of mind he'd always felt when his brothers were around him.

Whole.

"Merry Christmas."

The older turtle felt his lips crack into the slightest of smiles.

"Merry Christmas, Raphael."

~~~~~~~

I think this was one of my favorite pieces to write. I love Leo/Raph tension (as I'm sure you can tell by now). Comments/Critiques always welcome.

End of Line.

-TRAaP

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt bayverse #tmnt fanfiction #tworoadsandapenny #traap #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt sainw #Christmas #holidays

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sunset-bridge · 7 months

Text

gorbo thoughts part .. 3?

goro thoughts update. id like to ramble again

ok i think he might not have ocd actually! i mean he could but like...i dont think theres too many signs. so yes id like to. recall that. i think that was just me projecting LMAO.. its ok! i love learning more about my favorite guy. you know what he does have

i stand by the ocpd. (obsessive compulsive personality disorder, its a completely different thing from OCD. its a personality disorder) also Definetely ctpsd (complex ptsd)...... ! i was talking with someone and they brought it up and i was like. WOAG.. after reading about it

disclaimer: i only talk about these because i have them LOL.. im sure gorbo has a cute soup of Other problems but like. i cant really talk about those well... i find these two really interesting though.

see. ocpd, is like the perfectionist control freak disorder. its what people Think ocd is lol. BUT as a personality disorder, its so much more than that. people with ocpd also:

-you tend to have a black and white moral code

-your way is the only right way.

-you like to do things alone because no one else could do them right; this may cause relationship problems and you may come across as a fucking cunt ( i know this..)

difficulty compromising and accepting any critisicim of your actions or opinions.

excessive devotion to work and productivity

sosososo afraid of failure even if its kinda small. you feel it will ruin your image forever and ever. if i make a mistake put me to death please.

Frequently become overly fixated on a single idea, task or belief. even to detriment of . everything else in your life...

yeah...

me and some friends definetely see some of these in goro! ofc im so happy to hear what you guys think, i dont mind changing my views at all (like with the ocd thing i changed opinion about!)

like.. hes super fixated on his revenge plan, its the Only thing he cares about and everything is fair game if it allows him to advance that. leave him alone, its no one elses problem. he knows what hes doing. he has to be right about his values and beliefs. he has to. or else whats the point. dont tell him hes wrong. what do you mean? you dont know anything about him. he cant fail, he cant make mistakes, he has to work hard so everyone sees him exactly as he wants to and as someone valuable.

and. cptsd. as the name suggests its. a form of ptsd but..it has the Special Added features of:

-sometimes cant control emotions well

-you feel angry distrustful and resentful at the world in general

you feel worthless, empty or forever damaged by an event. like if you were stained with dirt forever.

you feel isolated. like no one could ever even understand what you went through (not in like an. edgy kid way. like fr. you feel even if you explained to people. they wouldnt understand you and your feelings. or theyd judge you and further hurt you...)

avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them very difficult (!!)

escapism or depersonalisation...dissociative behaviors .

yeah.. ! yeah. i think these ring quite some bells huh..! its really shitty! you feel like no one would get it, like no one would like you, like you are ruined forever and theres not much to do about it.

makes sense that goro would absorb himself in his plan. after all. he felt he was some sort of curse upon his mom; as if he was the one responsible for ruining her life.. but hed like to "redeem" himself with the revenge plan. he has to, even if its difficult to go on. i wonder if he planned to do anything if he achieved his plan? i dont think so. its a bit sad but.. he didnt really seem to plan doing. or living much more after. its like his whole life he convinced himself his only use would be as the vehicle to enact a revenge years in the making, and thats it.

as if he wasnt a person. just a tool to revenge. i think this is why its so difficult, frustrating and downright distressing to him to accept he too, has feelings and wants and needs like any Normal Person on planet earth. no way. those just interfere with the plan. and he has no right anyways.

i thought how id feel, in his shoes and with all my cute soup of wrong stuff, if some guy showed up, hes the guy i gotta kill. ok. then hes nice with me, as if mocking me. hes better at me in most things. he has friends and family and everyone likes him and he barely moves a finger. while i had to work so damn hard to even get acknowledged?? what does he have that i do not. hes nothing special. so why? then this guy acts like a fool even when hes so extraordinary in every aspect... does he think its funny? for someone so special to pretend to be ordinary. when id kill to be just half as special as him. honestly.. id become super frustrated with this bastard too. his presence would infuriate me. and the most frustrating thing, would be that this guy seems to be the only guy that seems to like hanging out with me. what the hell. guess he enjoys trying to humor me..

man...

#goro akechi #p5 #sure i guess #ahah the rival life with ocd ocpd and other fun things is so. fun (NOT)#man #this is why i became so attached to him when i was playing... its like. YO THIS guy this guy gets it (becomes obsessed)#im not joking i think goro is probably my favorite character in anything ever. at least now. but like. ive never. felt so much ...for any #fictional guy #man....#love to hear you guys thoughts! as i said i dont dislike if you disagree on something; sometimes i may be seeing things wrong! i want to #know so much and understand my favorite guy ever ^^ hes so much to me. so id love to hear everything!!#after all. i hadnt even considered cptsd before someone brought it up. even tho. i also. have. it. LOL

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l-estappen · 2 months

Text

Leashes and Lust ❦

The pet store buzzed with the scent of kibble and the cheerful squeaks of chew toys. Max and I agreed that getting everything Leo needed was a top priority. We had already selected Leo's bed, bowls, toys, carrier bag, and a few cozy blankets, but a small dilemma arose as we approached the leash section.

“What do you think about this leash?” Max asked, holding up a navy blue one.

I wrinkled my nose. "Red would look so much better on him."

"Navy blue is classic, sophisticated —”

"Are you saying red isn't classy?" I interjected, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course it’s not," Max replied with a grin, "It’s too flashy."

“Watch it, Verstappen.” I glanced between the red and navy blue leashes, contemplating our options. "You know, we could always get both.”

"Two leashes? Isn't that a bit excessive?"

I shot Max a playful smirk. "Says the guy who insisted on buying Leo five different toys just because he needs variety ."

Max rolled his eyes, but a grin tugged at the corners of his lips. "Hey, a dog's gotta have options, Charles. You wouldn't want Leo to get bored, would you?"

"Right, because a dog's happiness depends on the variety of chew toys he has," I teased, nudging him playfully with my elbow as we continued browsing the leash section.

Max chuckled, shaking his head. "You know you love spoiling him as much as I do."

"Guilty as charged," I admitted, glancing at Leo nestled in my arms, snoozing away without a care in the world.

"Alright, let's compromise,” Max suggested, placing both the red and navy blue leashes into our shopping basket. "I suppose that could work.”

"Exactly," I stated triumphantly, pleased with our resolution. "We should get some stuff for Jimmy and Sassy as well, so they don’t feel left out."

With Leo resting in the crook of my arm, Max and I made our way to the section dedicated to felines, and a pang of guilt tugged at my heart. I couldn't shake the memory of Sassy's reaction when we first introduced her to Leo. Her suspicion and unease were palpable, her cautious approach to the new addition a stark contrast to Jimmy's immediate curiosity.

"How about a cat tower with a scratching post?" Max suggested.

"Good idea," I said, my voice tinged with remorse as I recalled Sassy subdued response to our puppy.

Max must have noticed the regret lacing my voice because he paused, his gaze softening as he met my eyes. "Don't worry too much about Sassy, Schatje. She just needs some time to adjust."

"I know, it's just... she seemed so unsure... I don't want her to feel neglected or overshadowed."

Max placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "She won't, trust me. We just need to give her the space and time to get used to Leo being part of our family."

I couldn't help but smile at his comforting words, and before I could stop myself, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his as a silent thank you. His tongue traced a delicate path along my lips, seeking entry, and I willingly parted them, inviting him in.

"You're distracting me," I mentioned.

"Is it working?"

I chuckled softly in response and Max reached for a robust cat tree adorned with various platforms and scratching posts. As we made our way to the checkout counter, Max couldn't resist adding a few more items to our growing collection of pet supplies—a feathered wand toy for Jimmy, a plush mouse with a bell inside for Sassy, and a sturdy rope tug toy for Leo.

"Looks like someone's really embracing their inner pampered dad," I remarked as we waited in line to pay.

Max laughed, shaking his head. "A good pet parent makes sure all their babies are happy and well-cared for."

"Sure, sure," I teased, "Next thing you know, you'll be scheduling spa days for them."

Max raised an eyebrow, pretending to consider it. "That's not a bad idea. The cats could use a little paw massage."

After paying for our pet supplies, we made our way out of the store and towards the Café de Paris where Alexandre already waited for us.

"Looks like we've got a bit of a crowd today," Max observed, glancing at the sea of eager faces already making their way in our direction.

Before I could retort, a group of excited fans approached us, their phones at the ready. "Charles! Max! Can we get a picture with you guys?"

Max flashed his signature grin, "We are in a hurry! Just one quick snap, alright?"

I smiled in agreement, though I couldn't help but feel a twinge of protectiveness as I pulled Leo closer to my chest, shielding him from the grabbing hands.

As the phones started to click away around us, Leo stirred in my arms, the sudden sounds waking him from his peaceful slumber. His tiny yawn elicited a chorus of "awws" from the onlookers, who were quick to snap a few more pictures as we continued on our way to the Café.

Leo, now fully awake, squirmed in my arms, his curiosity piqued by the new sights and sounds surrounding him. His tiny paws pushed against my chest as he craned his neck, trying to catch a glimpse of the commotion around us.

"Easy there, little guy," I murmured, adjusting my hold on him as we navigated through the growing crowd. Tuned in to my emotions, Max stepped in front of me, effectively blocking the eager fans from getting too close. The hand that was not burdened with shopping bags found its way to my waist, offering a reassuring squeeze as he led the way.

As we finally reached the entrance of Café de Paris, a wave of relief washed over me. Max held the door open for me, and I stepped inside, grateful for the respite from the bustling crowd. Just before Max followed me in, he turned back to the fans gathered outside, a warm smile on his face. "Thanks, guys. We appreciate your support."

"That was nice of you," I commented when Max finally stepped inside the café, joining me at the door.

Max shrugged modestly. "Are you okay? You seemed nervous..."

“I was nervous because of Leo," I admitted, glancing down at the small bundle of fur. "I don’t want him to get overwhelmed by our legion of fans."

Max's expression softened as he reached out to stroke my cheek gently. "I understand, Schatje. But it's something that he will need to get used to."

I leaned into his touch, finding solace in the warmth of his hand against my skin. "I know, Max. It's just... I want everything to go smoothly from now on."

Max's thumb brushed lightly against my cheekbone, his gaze unwavering. "And it will, Charles. We'll make sure of it. Stop worrying, Sassy will come around."

I nodded in response to Max's reassurance as we made our way through the café, but inside, doubts still lingered. Despite his comforting words, the worry for Leo's well-being and the adjustment to our newfound family dynamics weighed heavily on my mind.

Our friend Alexandre was already waiting for us on the terrace, a warm smile lighting up his face as he waved us over to join him. As we settled into our seats, the vibrant atmosphere of the terrace and the familiar sight of our friend provided a welcome distraction from my worries.

*******************************************************************

As the music's sensual beat shifted, Amazónico morphed from a restaurant into a vibrant bar, the air now filled with sensual Bossa Nova rhythms. Laughter and chatter mingled with the music, creating an atmosphere of celebration befitting Joris's birthday party. Dim lights cast a seductive glow over the space, sparking excitement within me as I watched Charles lean closer.

"Care to dance?" he asked, his mouth mere inches from my ear. My heart skipped a beat as I met Charles's playful gaze, a surge of affection warming my chest. Despite the tensions we faced earlier at home with Sassy, seeing him carefree and playful now was a welcomed sight.

"I'd love to," I replied, feeling a rush of excitement as he took my hand, the pull of his strong grasp urging me onto the dance floor.

Charles swayed his hips to the beat, and I couldn't help but admire the fluidity of his movements. We navigated through the throng of people, my hand resting on the small of his back as we searched for an open space on the dance floor. When we found it, Charles pressed his back against my chest, his hips undulating in a slow, sensual rhythm that sent shivers down my spine.

“Do you have no shame?” I questioned into his ear, my hands instinctively finding their place on his hips, pulling him closer.

"Pas du tout," he admitted.

As Charles ground back against me to the pulsating rhythm of the song, I instinctively moved in sync with him, and when he pressed his ass against my growing erection, a deep, resonant groan escaped my lips.

"You're driving me crazy," I confessed, tucking my fingertips up the front of his t-shirt and pressing against his stomach as I nuzzled his neck.

Charles turned in my arms, his hands hooking around the back of my neck. My gaze flicked down to his mouth for a fleeting moment before meeting his eyes again, our hips bumping and grounding into each other.

"And you are making me hard," Charles added.

Unable to resist any longer, I leaned in, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Our mouths met with a fierce urgency, every stroke, every nip and tug, sent sparks of pleasure shooting through us. I slid my thigh between Charles’ legs, offering him a firm surface to grind against, and was rewarded with the reverberation of his moan against my lips. His hands roamed over my back, drawing me closer, as he shamelessly ground his hips against my thigh.

Fuck, this is getting out of hand and I was the one to blame.

"Charles," I warned between kisses, “We need to slow down.”

"I don’t want to slow down," he breathed against my skin. "I want you."

I pulled away slightly to reason with him, but my heart raced with desire as I took him in. Charles's usually emerald-green eyes darkened to a shade of forest green, burning with an intensity that told me that there was no backing up.

"Don't fight this," he whispered, his voice husky with need, "You want it just as much as I do."

I swallowed hard, torn between the magnetic pull of his desire and the rational voice in my head urging caution. But when Charles's tongue darted out to moisten his swollen lips, rationality seemed to fade away, drowned out by the primal urge that surged through me. With a knowing smirk, Charles reached for my hand and tugged me off the dance floor. Someone from our group whooped and hollered at us as we passed by, and with that fleeting devil-may-care attitude, which came out to play once in a while, Charles was quick to flip them off.

My pulse raced with anticipation as he pulled me towards a dimly lit hallway and swung open the first door he found.

"Here," Charles said, pushing me inside what I assumed to be a stall designated for people with disabilities and closing the door behind us with a resounding thud.

I edged across the small space, crossing my arms nonchalantly against my chest as my back hit the opposite wall.

“Quite a show that we put on the dance floor. I'm sure the internet will have a blast,” I remarked.

Charles shrugged. “Couldn’t care less.”

As he began to close the distance between us, a commanding tone crept into my voice. "Stop right there."

"Pourquoi?" he asked, his voice tinged with a hint of neediness.

"Because I said so," I stated firmly, my gaze unwavering as I held his.

A flicker of defiance danced in Charles' eyes, but he thought better of it and took a step back. Pleased with his reaction, I let my gaze roam over him, taking in every detail of his disheveled appearance. His beige Dior t-shirt hugged his chest just right, emphasizing the contours of his muscles, while his dark, loose jeans hung low on his hips, drawing my attention to the slight bulge beneath. My eyes lingered on the subtle outline of his erection, a testament to our dance floor rendezvous. His chestnut hair was tousled, his lips swollen, and his eyes, dark with desire.

"Enjoying the view?" the tease prompted, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes.

"You bet I am," I replied, my tone low and husky. "Get over here."

As my order hit Charles's ears, the only defiance glinting in his eyes was, Try and stop me. But tonight, I wasn’t waiting for him to comply. As soon as he was within my reach, I grabbed his hand, pulled him towards me, and spun him around so that he was facing the wall against which I was leaning.

My body was an immediate presence behind him - one of my hands moved around to the button of his jeans, my mouth came down to his ear, and as my breath brushed against it, a shiver of anticipation raced up his spine.

“I’m so fucking hard for you right now,” I moaned when he ground his ass back against my erection, “And I haven’t even gotten your pants undone yet.”

Charles blindly reached for the hand I was now using to unzip him, and when he found it, he guided it inside his open pants, behind the material of his trunks, and then he curled his hand over the top of mine where he most wanted it - on his aching dick.

“Oh que oui.”

My chuckle was arrogant as hell, and the strong, solid strokes I began had his hips punching forward to fuck my fist.

“That’s what you want?” I wondered by his ear, and Charles’s hand left his trunks to come out and grab at my thigh for something to hang on to.

“C'est ça,” he agreed, as I twisted my hand around the tip of his cock and he thrust into the touch. He bit his lip as he continued to rock his hips, my hand providing the perfect amount of friction to torment but not quite get him there.

“So…what’s next?” I asked. “We can’t just stand here like this all night.” I stopped moving my hand, and Charles clenched his fingers in my thigh.

“Putain, ne t'arrête pas.”

“Then answer my question.” My demand had his dick throbbing. “Come on, Schatje.” My teeth nipped at the shell of his ear, and Charles’s jaw bunched. “I’ll do anything. But I wanna hear you ask for it.”

“Take my goddamn pants off.”

My fingers were in either side of his jeans, yanking them, and his trunks, over his ass to his thighs. “Hands up. Legs spread. As wide as these jeans of yours will let you get’em.”

Charles placed his palms against the wall and widened his stance. I then crowded in behind him, and the rough denim grazed Charles’s naked ass as I planted a hand by either side of the ones he had on the wall.

“Mmm.” I smoothed a palm over the rounded curve of Charles' ass. “It’s gonna be a real tight fit in here tonight.”

"Sainte merde, Max." Charles swore, bucking back against me, needing some kind of contact.

“So…what’s next?”

"Maybe I just want to rub against you," the teasing taunt slipped past Charles's lips before he thought better of it, but being in the mood I was in, I wasn't about to let him get away with it.

"Like this?" I asked, feeling the anticipation rising as I began to roll my hips, grinding my erection up and down his crack.

Charles’s desperate plea escaped his lips, "Mon Dieu, Max. Get rid of your fucking clothes."

The familiar rustling of fabric filled the confined space as I quickly shed my clothes and fished a lube packet from my wallet. It didn’t take but a few seconds, and then I was back, wedging my lubed dick right where Charles wanted it most. The sound that escaped his throat as my cock slid along the slick crevice of his ass was nothing short of desperate.

“Verdomme, Charles,” I exclaimed as I ran my fingers through the pre-cum I’d left all over his skin, making him shudder.

“Dedans…” Charles erupted on a rush of air. “Mon Dieu… Put something in me.”

I slipped my slick fingers down the heated skin of Charles’s narrow cleft, and when the pads of my fingers found his hole and massaged over the top of it, he cursed. I then pushed a finger in nice and deep, the way he loved it, and when his head fell forward and his shoulders bunched, my cock throbbed.

“Yeah, Charles. Go crazy for me. I wanna watch,” I proclaimed as I withdrew my index finger and then slid it back inside.

“Max,” Charles roared as I added a second to the mix, rubbing and pushing at the entrance I was stretching.

“Vraag me erom.” At my words, Charles turned his head, and I saw that his pupils were blown and his teeth clenched. “I want to hear you. Ask me, Charles.” I added slight pressure to his hole, and his breath rushed out.

“Tu vas payer pour ça.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” I declared, chuckling at his threat as my fingertips entered him. “Now come on…” I continued, twisting my hand. “Beg me for it.”

“You goddamn sadist. If you don’t hurry up and fuck me with something, I—”

That was as far as Charles got because, as far as begging went, that demand was music to my ears, and I was right there thrusting two fingers inside him. Charles arched back, pushing his cock through his fist as the intense pleasure of having my fingers inside him hit. Pulling those fingers free, I added a third, massaging over Charles’s prostate.

“Putain,” he swore, clenching his tight fist around the base of his cock.

My mouth found his neck as I dragged my tongue up the line of it, biting down gently. My cock bumped against Charles’s ass cheek as I continued to slowly stretch him, bringing him to the brink time and time again.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard,” I declared against his cheek, withdrawing my fingers. His hole clenched at the loss, craving exactly that. My hand landed on the back of his neck.

“You might want to brace yourself,” I suggested, giving him a rough shove forward. His left hand shot up to support himself against the wall.

“That’s it,” I said as my other fingers dug into his hip. The head of my cock nudged against his entrance. “Now, Charles. Say it.”

And the words flew from his mouth, unstoppable. “Baise-moi, Max. You—”

I was balls deep inside him before he finished his demand. His whimper echoed around us, just as I had predicted.

“Merdeeeee.”

The hand that I had in the back of Charles neck tightened as I withdrew, then thrust forward, drilling into him. The strength of that thrust had him stumbling slightly, but I pulled him back against me, his spine flush against my chest.

“Nom de Dieu, that’s…” His voice cracked, leaving him as my arm wound around his waist, taking hold of his cock.

“Diep. I’m so fucking deep, and your ass is so tight.” I stroked my fist up to the head of his dick, and he groaned at the intense pleasure.

“Any final requests?” I asked, my voice ragged.

“Fuck me until I can’t walk.”

I close my fist around his cock, and I gave it a rough pull as my hips surged forward. Then I plastered him against the wall with his arms drawn up over his head, holding them in place as I drove inside of him.

There was nothing gentle about what happened next. I grabbed his hip to hold him still as I fucked into him relentlessly.

“Ah putain…merde,” he exclaimed, his voice failing him.

“Give me your tongue,” I demanded, and his head turned so my mouth could find his, and then Charles went wild.

His hands twisted and clawed above him, trying to get leverage, until I pinned them in place. My cock throbbed inside him, and he shut his eyes, surrendering to the greedy, dark side of himself.

“Déplace-toi,” he uttered between clenched teeth, and when I held his stare, he whipped his head to the other side, sinking his teeth into my bicep.

“Fuuuck” I cursed loudly. My arm stung where Charles had just bitten me, and as I held onto his hips, I relished the feeling.

With his hands on the wall and his legs barely parted due to the confines of his jeans, Charles's hot hole was a challenge I was enjoying getting my dick in and out of. I couldn't seem to temper my own fevered response to the way he was reacting to me, and hell if I wanted to.

"Yes. Mon Dieu. Fucking harder, Max." Charles's words were clipped, his movements now methodical as his hand moved in time with his pistoning hips as he ruthlessly chased after the climax building in him.

The grunts echoing throughout the floor were accompanied by curses and threats that made my lips curl and my balls tingle. I'd always loved a good argument with Charles, and I enjoyed the fight for dominance between us during sex. And hell if I wasn't about to bask in the satisfaction I was about to take in filling Charles's ass in the most primal way I could.

With one hand on Charles's hip, I raised my other to grip the back of his neck again, and the second I did, Charles started to beg. Deeper, harder, more, now—Charles wanted anything I was willing to give, and, luckily for him, tonight, that was everything.

I wasn't sure how long it took the two of us then. Minutes? Seconds? I had no clue. It was as though time stopped as every nerve ending in my body lit on fire.

A harsh growl left my throat as Charles's entire body arched back into me, his muscles tightening around me as if trying to draw me even deeper inside him.

"Maaax," he whined, his body trembling against mine, and I could feel the pulsating waves of his release as he came all over the wall.

Watching him lose himself in the throes of ecstasy only heightened my own arousal, and I continued to move within him, driving deeper and harder until I couldn't hold back any longer. With a primal grunt, I came, emptying myself inside Charles's ass.

As the waves of ecstasy subsided, Charles and I remained entwined, our bodies still humming with shared pleasure. With breathless moans, we let gravity take hold, and sort of just fell onto the hard floor, holding onto each other tight.

The sudden change in perspective brought a new intensity to our closeness. I felt every beat of Charles's heart against my own chest, every rise and fall of his breath as he nestled against me. The floor was cold against our skin, but being tangled up together made it feel cozy. "You okay there, Schatje?"

Charles let out a contented sigh. "Mmm, more than okay," he replied, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips.

I chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through our entwined bodies. "Glad to hear that," I said, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "But seriously, I might have gone a bit hard on you there. Are you sure you're not sore?"

Charles shifted slightly, his eyes meeting mine. "I'm sore in all the right places. I think you might need to carry me out of here."

"I will give you a piggyback ride," I whispered against his lips, my heart swelling with love.

#AO3 #charles leclerc/max verstappen #lestappen fic #charles leclerc #max verstappen #leo leclerc #jimmy&sassy #lestappenoneshots

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