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bomber-grl · 7 months

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SAL FISHER RELATIONSHIP HC ! ₊˚⊹

₊˚⊹ PAIRING(s): Sal fisher x Gn!reader

He’s so sweet it hurts

Honestly, Sal is the best boyfriend ever, he’s always there for you and he always knows the perfect things to say when comforting you.

The two of you met because of the ghosts and the whole cult thing while at high school.

You were the more outspoken one out of the two of you since Sal was mostly against violence even when Travis was brought into the convo.

I can definitely see Sal being the first one to approach you.

It all started when Sal started becoming increasingly interested in you to the point that Larry and even ash started teasing and encouraging him to talk to you.

He would fluster, occasionally and say the wrong words out of nervousness however with luck, he managed to get your number.

It was hard not to fall for him, especially with how lovable he is.

He’s so genuinely nice and actually cares for others.

Of course, you eventually see his face, and although he was neutral about it since he trusted you he was still a bit nervous.

Definitely warms his heart when you not only accept his face but also kiss it.

He flusters and stutters so badly afterwards.

Continuing from that, he’s definitely the type to tease lightheartedly

Definitely not in the beginning though

So when you first started teasing and provoking him, causing him to get super flustered

He wouldn’t really know what to do except accept it, so imagine your surprise when he turns the tables once day and makes you a blushing mess

Most times when you hang out, you usually hang at the apartments in his room, or when sals an adult you’d hang out in his room in the house

During these hang outs you guys would usually listen to some music or just enjoy each others presence

Most times it’s just you and sal cuddling and ngl he smells rlly good

Like I’m not even joking and when you mention this, he can’t help but laugh and just tells you do too

However, when you guys hang out with Larry (which is more often than not) you guys end up in more than sus situations 😭😭

The. Larry is all like “I’ll leave you guys at it” and dips

Like??? We’re not doing anything 😭🗣️

Anyway

While you’re at high school ofc Travis has something to say, and if you’re a guy then he obviously calls you the f slur and a lot of homophobic nonsense

And if you’re a girl Travis still calls y’all homos in a negative way, and always says shit about you two

And I don’t think I need elaborate further about how Travis would probably hate crime you if you were non-binary, gender fluid, or basically anything under the trans umbrella

(Basically any gender identity that isn’t your assigned one 😭

Larry, ash, and Todd all get pissed at Travis , and they always come to the both of your guy’s defense

And ofc Sal is bit lenient towards Travis, well only ever when Travis is talking shit about him

If Travis talks shit about you he’d be pissed

But ofc younger Sal is less violent and more open so he’d obvs be kinder

Anyway, we all know what happens at the apartments and if you live there-

Let’s just say it pains Sal so much to have to kill you

I mean him having to kill all the people he grew up with and the people he cares for is horrible but he knows he has to

However, if you don’t, well let’s say you know about the cult and why he did it

Still doesn’t stop you from trying to find a way to get a lower sentence and from trying the convince ash of the truth

When sal dies, let’s just say you feel so alone

Of course you have ash by your side but it’s just horrible

Eventually you’re the person that sals soul would enter and you’d defeat the cult that way

But let’s all pretend that they were able to defeat the cult without having to kill the innocent tenants

Making sal a free man

Well if it were that way, you and Sal would be together for a long time, and if you both wished it, married too

———

Art credits : @/toasterdoodle22

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rununcal · 30 days

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Honestly I did not know it was Trans Visibility Day but now that I do know, I made something for the occasion! I heart this insane middle-aged guy and headcannon his trans-ness as basically just an evil and fucked up version of his previous male identity. He’s a guy but goopy and scary now.!!

(Image ID: Ink Sammy Lawrence stands over the corpse of human Sammy Lawrence. His human form is laying in a lake of black ink with various compositions scattered around him. His hair is unkept and falls into the pools. His ink form seems to have emerged from this human corpse, and stands confidently with his hands crossed as if in a coffin. His mask is tilted to the side of his head and he grins a large toothy smile. Behind him is a dripping trans flag in the shape of Bendy, and behind that is a small room with the shadows of outstretched hands all over the wooden walls. End ID.)

Very unorganized rang about how he relates to gender identity (cause I thought it would be fun) under the cut!

SAMMY LAWRENCE GENDER RANT WEE

This artwork is related to Sammy and whatever I headcannon his identity to be, yes, but it is also related to me! Sammy’s definitely one of the guys that falls under the gender umbrella for me, and so I’m using him here as a sort of expression of how I feel about my own transness. A big part of my identity is body horror and metamorphosis. What is horrific to most is still horrific, but also beautiful, to me. I would love nothing better than to literally crawl out of my own skin sometimes and live life as some freaky creature. I don’t really understand it, with me just beginning my journey and all, but I can’t deny it permeates a lot of my dreams and ambitions.

Sammy reflects a lot of that for me, as you could probably figure out. I know he hates his body in cannon, but to me it just feels so much more logical that he’d love his new body as it was given to him by Bendy himself.

Keeping that change in-mind, and also keeping in mind the undertones I’m giving him, I really like how his change into his new identity is handled. It’s no smooth sailing. I mean, he gains the new identity by hitting bedrock and going insane. But somehow, it leads him to a place filled with more fervor for life than before. Despite how low a place he’s in now, he has never felt more alive. (I’m not trying to romanticize this type of sadness by the way, I just mean that a big realization about my identity came in a dark time). I think that relates to a lot of feelings I have personally about my identity, though I cannot say for others. I just think it’s real neat.

Anyways, rant over. I just wanted to try and get my thoughts out on paper besides just saying that he’s gender. Ty for reading!

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gatorbites-imagines · 5 months

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Hey gator, can you make a fic of Homelander dating a trans reader?

(Also you’re doing amazing, I’m so proud of you, and you’re flipping cool :D)

John Gillman/Homelander x ftm reader

Headcanons

Im gonna ignore the fact that Homelander would definitely be transphobic in canon, and write this in my canon where I make the rules.

John probably wouldn’t get it in the beginning, as he was definitely raised not being told about the LGBTQ community by vought, outside of the fact that it didn’t meet Americas standards. So, imagine his surprise when he starts having feelings for you, a man.

You weren’t even another hero, you were just a member of the marketing team who worked closer to The Seven than the rest. Maybe it was the fact that you didn’t fawn over them or fear them, or how you didn’t seem to put up with their shit when they made impossible demands.

The only one you seemed to get along with in the beginning was Black Noir and Starlight, as they were both polite in their own ways.

John couldn’t figure out what it was about you, and it would take some time before he realized you were trans, which he’s able to figure out pretty quickly with his x-ray vision. Whether you wear a binder, have top and bottom surgery, or a third thing, he can spot it, since you would look different than cis guys.

He doesn’t know what to do with that information, especially since he’s already attracted to you and has tried to woo you in his own, showboaty way. Its kinda like watching a peacock strutting around trying to attract a mate.

Homelander is very bad at it though, and is kinda obvious about it too, maybe only to you though. Hes cute in his own way though, as he reminds you of a puppy at times, a very dangerous puppy with laser eyes, so in the end you make take the step and ask him out.

John would sputter and blush, but agree to go on a date. Hes never been one for privacy, so expect a lot of questions about being trans, even very intimate ones that you wouldn’t normally ask a stranger.

I can’t say hed be a great boyfriend, but that’s not because you are trans or anything. It’s mainly because he’s just not a good person in general, and he’s very busy as the leader of The Seven and keeping up his ratings.

But if your fine with both of you having busy schedules, him breaking into your apartment at any time of the day, and him not being public about your relationship as it would ruin his ratings, then I say go for it.

I don’t think he would go out of his way to research the trans experience, as he has you to answer all his questions if he has any. John doesn’t end up caring much about gender as a whole, but he will finance any surgeries or treatment if you want any, because he loves you and shows it through pampering you any chance he gets.

If you have breasts though, he would mourn if you got top surgery, since hed want them in his mouth all the time. But just give him something else to fixate on, and he will be fine. Be it your fingers or your next chest, or something third.

If you just wear a binder, expect him to keep a very close eye on your ribcage with his x-ray vision, and expect to be scolded if you wear it for too long, or if he can see it damaging your ribs. He would probably go out of his way to rip it right off you If you have worn it too long, he will just buy you a new one anyways.

All in all, he’s supportive in his own ways, even though those ways can be… questionable at times. He never actually questions if you are a man or not, and never misgenders you, and lashes out as anyone who does, but he does lack behind in certain areas. John does his best with what he’s got though.

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chaifootsteps · 5 months

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Hey I saw someone on Twitter saying you’re transphobic because it said in your Twitter bio “IDW Arcee is still a guy” even though the character is canonically trans. What’s your take on that? I’m not attacking you or anything I just genuinely want to know the context of all that.

Oh boy. Strap yourselves in kids; time for Chai's villain origin story.

So basically, IDW Arcee made his debut under the pen of Simon Furman, the dude who created Arcee in the first place. Simon Furman has a small massive chip on his shoulder over the notion of girl robots, but we're going to be talking in mostly Watsonian terms for now. IDW Arcee as he comes on the scene in Spotlight Arcee is the victim of a nonconsensual forced sex reassignment, we see right off the bat that this destroyed his life.

He's wracked with trauma and dysphoria over this, on a do-or-die quest to take out the mad scientist who did it (he succeeds and tortures said scientist for seven years straight), and is implied to suffer chronic pain.

This got a lot of criticism, but Simon Furman insisted it wasn't meant to be transphobic, just the opposite. When someone pointed out that this was a story about how traumatic it was to be assigned a gender you didn't feel was the one you should have, Furman agreed with this take.

Eventually Furman was shooed out and John Barber was brought in as writer, and nobody seemed to know how to deal with Arcee's backstory. So they just kind of...didn't. They wrote around it for eight whole years, never really acknowledging it, but frequently alluding to how traumatized he was from it. The only person to ever roll up their sleeves and tackle it head on was Mairghread Scott, the only person IMO to ever do justice to IDW Arcee.

By the way, this panel made me weep. This issue also includes a fleeting, but notable moment where someone refers to Arcee with they/them pronouns, and at the time, I was extremely excited for this.

Shortly after this however, the comic came to an end and John Barber decided -- in the very last issue -- to bring in an expert. And by this, I mean he found some trans lady on Twitter and let her write Arcee. The last issue has Arcee concluding that the whole sex change was consensual and the violent murder spree was the result of, I quote, "bad meds."

Yeah, basically Arcee killed all those people because the Spiro was a little off.

I got into a lot of internet fights with people over this back in the day, criticizing it for being worse than what we started with, but also frequently pointing out that it wasn't Twitter lady's fault, as she wasn't the editor-in-chief at IDW and that there's a very good reason professional writers aren't supposed to do this sort of thing. In return, I got accused of hating trans women and still get some real ugly things in the inbox about it to this day. It was the first taste, bitter as wormwood, of what I as a trans man could expect from my own community.

Regardless of all that, Arcee is probably the most important fictional character to ever enter my life. He helped me realize I was trans, got me through some dark days, got me through heartbreak and top surgery. He saved my life a few times, and every so often he continues to. I owe so much to him.

If writing a very gentle fix-it fic where Arcee has a long talk with Anode (one of the trans lesbian bots from the vastly superior sister series James Roberts wrote) makes me a transphobe in these peoples' eyes, so be it. I don't care what they think. They never reached out to baby trans Chai and held his hand and kept him breathing.

Arcee did.

#Anonymous #Arcee #Transformers #IDW Arcee #transandrophobia #actual blog post

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scekrex · 19 days

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I’ve been feeling a lil dysphoric lately cause of shark week, do you think you could write something where Adam praises reader and raising his confidence? :,) also, I love ur work so much, it’s all so good 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Okay so I paused the smut I was writing to write this prompt instead bc my shark week ended a couple hours ago and I feel your vibe soooo much homeboy, just know that you're doing great okay? I'm proud of you <3 also I was a selfish lil asshole 'n' gave this a trans!male!reader undertone - it turned out a lil short but I hope you like it nonetheless and that it helps you a little, much love/p

Little soldier

pairing: Adam x trans!male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

You looked up as Adam flopped down next to you on the couch, the first man was quick to pull you in his lap once he found a position that he considered comfortable. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your shoulder as his soft voice made you relax even more, “How’s my handsome man doin’?” You leaned into his touch immediately, desperate for the comfort his body warmth, scent and voice were offering. You hadn’t been that amazing for the past couple days and of course Adam had noticed and while he still wasn’t the best when it came to providing comfort with his words - he was learning how to do that though, knowing that you needed it every now and then - he was able to praise you, shower you in affirmation and love, and - of course - hugs and kisses. Your body felt icky, wrong even, more than it usually did and that state was affecting you mentally, draining you and making you want to hide underneath a gigantic warm blanket covered in Adam’s scent until it would eventually get better. You responded with an uncertain hum, you wanted to shrug your shoulders but due to Adam’s head resting on one of them you didn’t. You wanted the brunette to stay as close as possible. “Already?” he asked and once again you only responded in the form of a hum, this time an agreeing one with a light nod of your head underlining the quiet sound.

His arms around you tightened as he wrapped his wings around both of your bodies, the tips of his feathers gently brushed your chin and that caused your lips to curl up in a tiny smile, you loved it when he did that, loved it when he used them to shield your body away from the world and their judging eyes. And though no one was looking at you besides Adam - how could anyone, you were at home after all, just him and you - it felt good, made you feel a little more comfortable given the situation. “I’m fucking proud of you,” he mumbled as he turned his head slightly to press a soft kiss against your neck. You tilted your head to the opposite side, offering your neck to the first man, silently asking for more kisses, more soft spoken words that would ease the negative feelings you were feeling. “Holding up so fucking well for both you ‘n’ me, babes,” he continued to speak as he placed yet another kiss near your collar bone, he wouldn’t take this further, he wouldn’t try and place kisses lower than that, he knew that just as well as you did and you were grateful for it. The brunette didn’t stop at just two sloppy praises though, not when he knew that you were going through something, and though he’d never fully understand your feelings, he did accept them and never played them down. He knew that was important to you and he respected that. “I love you,” that statement was followed my a firmer kiss against your jaw, “So fucking much.” Adam rarely used the words, he saved them for vulnerable moments like this one. He was more of an actions guy than a words guy so he usually showed his love towards you by acting like he meant it. Hearing it, however, made you fully smile, not just a tiny one either. He knew you loved him too, he didn’t need to hear it back, you didn’t feel like talking and he respected that, yet he wanted you to know. “My badass little soldier,” usually you’d argue about how you weren’t that little, how Adam was just a fucking giant, but right now you haven’t had the energy to do so, so you took the praise as it was without arguing. When his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, you shuddered lightly, he noticed of course but decided to leave it uncommented. This wasn’t the right time for jokes and he was more than aware of it, he’d save his cocky comments for later, for when you’d be better.

“Fighting so fucking good,” he whispered in your ear and a kiss on your temple followed those loving words. Oh how you loved his soft side - yes he could be a jackass, but he truly loved you, the comfort he was trying to provide showed it and you were very grateful for it, surely it would be a lot harder to go through those phases without him - he was some sort of guardian angel to you. “I fucking promise this’ll be over one fucking day,” was it a promise he could keep? You didn’t know, but that didn’t matter. Not now, not when he was there, making it easier to live through this. “Babes,” he hummed as one of his hands came up to slightly turn your head towards him, your eyes locked with his and you saw the love they held for you and only you. That was something that eased your mind a little. He could have anyone - everyone - yet he had fallen in love with you. “You’re the most perfect boyfriend Father could’ve sent me,” he finished his sentence and then sealed his words with a kiss on your lips, a gentle one, there was nothing intended, nothing this would lead to, a simple yet so meaningful kiss. “I love you too,” you mumbled against his lips before you pulled Adam in another loving kiss.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x y/n #adam x reader #adam x you #trans reader

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fandomsoda · 8 months

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Y’know I actually think we really need to talk about how more fem/less masc presenting characters are treated by the utmv fandom.

Because characters like Ink, Dream, Blue, and Lust have had a very disturbing pattern in how they’re treated. There are usually three really bad pitfalls that happen with portrayals of their characters.

infantilization/uwuification

villainization/yandereifiction

fetishization/hypersexualization

With these tropes often overlapping.

The version of bastardization we’re all pretty familiar with is infantilization/uwuification, where the characters are treated as overly innocent/cute and are often denied their maturity or agency in things. We all know the Bluwuberry situation and how Ink was treated pre-2018 and how Dream is still often treated today with very little push back, all of these characters are treated as innocent or demure simply for presenting less masculine or being “good guys”. But this can also be deliberately done in an attempt to “save” a character from preexisting misconceptions. See the #SaveLustBean situation from 2020-2021, where people (primarily on the utmv side of YouTube, usually young creators) tried to dispel the negative connotations around Lust’s character by… basically infantilizing him. It’s right in the hashtag, calling him an “UwU Smol bean” instead of just- saying #SaveLustSans or something like that that is more definitive. Their intentions were very noble, but their methods were misplaced.

Now on the other end of the spectrum, villainization. We’ve all seen it with Ink being treated like an unforgivable monster post 2018, we’ve all seen Lust being characterized as a gross pervert or deviant when he’s not, and we’ve all seen the villainization and uwuification compound to make yandereification with how Blue was treated in the early days. Even Dream is starting to be villainized in very upsetting ways. The issue with these portrayals isn’t that they portray these characters as dark or complex or as villains, I myself find darker interpretations of Dream and Ink fascinating. It’s about either the extent to which they misrepresent and mischaracterize the characters or the way the behavior is presented. With Ink and Dream especially their actions are often treated as irrational and hysterical, to the extent of playing into common tropes of the “unstable fem person who can’t control their emotions”. On the other hand there is Lust, who is villainized and ostracized because of his femininity and often is forced into a more masculine role, with the way his fem presentation is gawked at often resembling the way people forcefully masculinize and ostracize trans women. He is treated like a weirdo creep because of his nonconformity compounded with his proximity to suggestive themes and it’s… not fun to witness.

Now finally, the hardest of these to talk about and the least talked about of these topics, fetishization and hypersexualization. If you are sensitive to these topics/discussion of suggestive themes I suggest you skip this section, though know that nothing will be described in detail here. This is not about people simply ethically depicting these characters in suggestive ways or as people who have sex lives/appeal, that’s not at all what I’m referring to. I’m talking about the way that these characters often have sexual themes forced upon them, how all of their traits are often sexualized, and how these things are specifically done because of their femininity. Ink’s neurological issues are often fetishized with people treating him as mindless or helpless and then somehow trying to make that something they can exploit. Blue’s infantilized and yandereified nature are often accompanied with heavy sexualization, especially in the earlier fandom days. Dream is very rarely given proper attention beyond potential sex appeal and being a goody two shoes, with his own damn creator infantilizing him and then putting him in deeply upsetting situations. Lust especially is often not given room to exist outside of sex and is treated like nothing more than a suggestive deviant.

And a lot of people will ask me how all of this relates to their femininity and will claim it’s not exclusive to them, but if you look at how people treat the other characters that’s just not true. The bad guys are allowed to be complex and interesting, they are allowed to take on respectable archetypes, the stars and Lust are often not.

And whenever people try to remove them from these bastardizations they often do one thing that is very telling: they remove the non-masculine or unique traits of the characters.

People make them more masculine, less cute, more sanitized, they take away what makes these characters special, as if masculinity and a lack of cuteness and being nonsexual is what is required to deserve respect or proper characterization.

All of this to say: just because we are the fandom of gay gender nonconforming skeletons does not mean that there isn’t deep-rooted misogyny we need to unpack.

Obviously if you’ve ever made a mistake in portraying these characters or accidentally participated in bastardization you’re not suddenly a misogynistic monster, I just think it’s good to take a closer examination at how we have historically and continue to portray certain characters and may accidentally perpetuate certain harmful ideologies.

Feel free to discuss, just keep it civil.

Shoutout to @letsatomicbanana for bringing this to my attention.

#text post #soda talks characterization #semi serious post #utmv #undertale au #utmv fandom #ink sans #dream sans #blueberry sans #swap sans #underswap sans #lust sans

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ms-revived-frogs · 2 years

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Ex-Boyfriend in Girls’ Bathroom

So gyns there’s an issue at my school about my ex-boyfriend using the girls’ bathroom, and I’m very frustrated right now so I’m just going to rant about it.

For the past three days this week I’ve been seeing my ex-boyfriend using the girls’ bathrooms, same place, same time (in the morning, where I do my makeup). Seeing him there, for longer than a normal stay, was enough to make me feel sick. He’s a drug addict and a narcissist, so I can already imagine the things he does there. I wasn’t the only one made uncomfortable by this, since other girls have been seeing him around and felt confused and violated. I’ve known this guy for four years. I saw him come out as bi, and later, gay after we broke up. I didn’t believe he was gay though because he would call me hot even when we were just friends after our breakup. Today I was called down from my first period class unexpectedly. I was told that my friends and I weren’t allowed to talk about him, by the principal. I told her I was only talking about him because he was in the girls’ bathroom. She said that’s “not my business”. I said it is my business because I’m a girl in the girls’ bathroom, and he’s a boy.

Then she said something that really intrigued me. She said “you don’t know how others identify”. This instantly caught my attention because I immediately knew where it was going to go. I asked her what she meant and she just repeated it. I asked her if my ex-boyfriend was now trans, and she said she couldn’t say due to privacy. So pretty much, yes. I asked her what she was going to do about him making girls uncomfortable and she said nothing. She said that I could use the single stall bathrooms (we have like, 3 in the whole school of 1200 kids!). I asked her if she would make all the girls uncomfortable by him use the single stall bathrooms. She said yes! We all have to accomodate for the one (1) guy.

Then I brought it up to her that he’s not even making any changes to appear as a female. I asked her if any guy could just say he’s a girl and, without making any changes, be allowed into the girls’ bathroom. She said yes! She said she legally couldn’t restrict them. I was about to see red. We kept arguing for a bit until she said that she could send me home, after which I had to calm down since I’m a pretty academic student and I don’t want to be suspended and have that on my record. But the fact that she threatened to call home and send me home for the crime of being uncomfortable was insane.

I’m making sure to tell as many people as I know at my school and most of my friends are talking about it as well. I’ve given up trying to be discreet about talking about him, and I’m not sure if she can even suspend me for simply talking about it. I’m not hurting him, clearly he feels comfortable with me around (in the bathroom I’m supposed to be in!). I haven’t talked to him in months and our friendship ended on a very bad note, so I can’t ask him if all this transition stuff is true. It’s also hard to look at him and see him that way. My grandma’s thinking of calling the school board, the next authority above the principal, and my aunt’s already called in.

It’s just insane how the principal’s expecting all of us to change and accomodate for one person, when she can easily have him use the single stalls and have it be done with. But no, dozens of girls’ feelings of comfort aren’t worth as much as one boy’s.

#rant #personal

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anonslash · 7 months

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hi there! (im not sure if your requests are open so im v sorry if this is a bad time /gen) its soso nice to see a fellow trans guy who's a slasher writer on here!! :>

i was wondering if i could request Bubba Sawyer and Leslie Vernon with a s/o who loves all things spooky? (funky ghost and skeleton pattern stuff, horror movies ofc,black cats, ect) i hope you have a good rest of your day/night! :))

I’m so sorry this took so long man. Surprise lol. Also Leslie’s section is really short because I was lost on ideas and just wanna get something posted.

Bubba and Leslie with a spooky S/O

Contains: canon typical violence and gore mentions

Bubba Sawyer

Bubba loves the spooky aesthetic! He thinks it’s super charming and he’s glad you’ll at least kind of fit in with his family.

He might misinterpret it. Please don’t get mad at him if he gives you a necklace made of bones. He just wants to make you something nice and he tries very hard!

He would love to help you decorate for Halloween if you celebrate, or even to just draw you little ghosts.

He’s also a big fan of animals. If you tell him about how you like black cats you will find him holding a stray one on the porch in a few days. You won’t be able to keep it, with Bubba’s brothers, but he just wanted you to see it.

Scary movies are hard for him. He can handle gore just fine, he’s used to all that. But he’s not a fan of the jumpscares or loud noises, and he’s easily startled by them. He might get overstimulated or upset if something is too sudden or there’s too much going on.

He loves spending time with you though, and he loves to see you happy. Just hold him close and give him tons of affection, and make sure to pause if it gets too intense. He thinks you’re so brave for liking these movies. He's also glad. Even though you’re together already, he gets worried his family will scare you away sometimes, so he’s glad you have a strong stomach. Even if it’s only for the fake stuff.

Leslie Vernon

Please. He is also obsessed. More so with the horror and some true crime, but he loves your commitment to the theme.

Be warned he will take this as permission to drag you into his shit. You’re helping him plan his next killings.

Will binge movies with you for hours on end. Way late into the night. He loves them and he jumps at the opportunity to spend time with you.

He brings home one of those plastic skeletons for Halloween. (And all types of other decorations)

#slashers x male reader #bubba Sawyer x male reader #Leslie vernon x male reader

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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AITA for Blocking a Guy After Giving Mixed Signals?

I (28M) reconnected with a dude I knew from high school and college (24M) last year through Snapchat. Someone we both knew from college told me that he really wanted to talk to me wanted to apologize for putting me through hell in college so I decided to friend him. I was never the best of friends with this guy and had issues with him in the past but when he started messaging and talking to me it seemed like he really wanted to make amends so I decided to give friendship a chance.

For some background information, I didn’t spend much time with him in high school. I hardly knew the guy, he seemed a little bit strange, but harmless. Sometimes we played basketball together. He said a couple of weird things that I didn’t realize the significance of the time.

I ran into him again back when we were in college. I thought it was slightly strange how we ended up ay the same one but dismissed it. At the time I just thought it was cool that someone from my high school was there and also attended the paranormal club. Then I found that he had undergone a huge personality change since I saw him last, and definitely for the worst.

He started spreading rumors about people in the group, turning them against each other because he thought it was funny. I lost a couple of my friends this way. Some of the rumors he spread about me in particular resulted in campuswide harassment. I also was briefly under investigation by campus security because he started a rumor that I sold dope (I don’t). He harassed me in other ways as well, calling me names, and knocking me over when I was on my bike. He also vandalized it by ripping the air tubes out of the tires. Of course, I wanted nothing more to do with the guy.

Flashback over, back to the present day. At this point, we have been talking for a few weeks when he revealed that he had feelings for me since high school and had apparently been trying to hit on me. I would have rejected the guy on the spot because even though I’m bi the age difference was too big. I was nearly 18, he was 14, hell no.

He told me that in college, he started the rumors to get my attention. He said he felt like there was no other way to get me to pay attention to him other than being a complete and total asshole. He also said that he intentionally ruined my reputation because he felt like I was so popular, he never would’ve gotten the chance to approach me otherwise. Never once have, I been a popular guy, I don’t know where he gets this bullshit. However, he apologized and sounded sincere at the time. I decided to try to forgive him.

He told me that he still had feelings for me. At the time I wasn’t really even considering relationships. However, considering that I’ve been through the ringer with people who have commitment issues, and this guy managed to maintain interest for practically a decade, I told him that I would think about it when he asked me on a date.

Then, however, he started acting really weird. When we did a video chat he started saying certain things that made me uncomfortable and kept on with it even after I told him to knock it off. Kept pestering me for nudes (I said no). Also kept calling me a girl (I’m a trans guy and commenting on how feminine my body was. He also said that if I didn’t go out with him, he’d make sure I paid for it later. That scared the shit out of me.

After that, I distanced myself from him. I no longer answered his calls or texts. Because I am not familiar with how Snapchat works, I did not block him, because I didn’t know how. However, I ignored his messages for months. I read them. Pretty messed up stuff. He told me that he would keep messaging me until I said yes.

Fast forward several months and I am in a healthy relationship with another trans guy. But then it occurs to me that the dude in the paragraph above would probably find a way to mess it up because that’s what he did with my friendships in college as well as anyone who showed romantic interest in me so we kept it very hush-hush. I decided to tie up loose ends today and tell him that I was Already in a relationship. He told me he didn’t care. He kept trying to push a friends with benefits thing. I told him no. He told me he wasn’t going to give up, no matter what I said, or did. At that point, I lost my temper and blocked him.

The reason I think I’m the asshole is because for a moment I did consider going out with him before he started acting creepy. I feel like I’m the asshole because by doing that, I technically lead him on and I should have told him right off the bat that his behavior was freaking me out, and I was no longer interested, but I chose to just disappear instead.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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aphidclan-clangen · 3 days

Note

you don't have to post this, but I thought it would be funny!!!

Nimblekit: I just scream a lot... I just, scream... a lot

Goldshine: With all due respect, which is none,

Sparkspeckle: You know how someone can say “I respectfully disagree”? What about “I disrespectfully agree” for when you hate someone but they are unfortunately correct.

Shadebreak: I am always up for potential rule breaking.

Goldshine: Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself, I do it regularly.

Nimblekit: 80% of people are actually ugly because of their face, you know.

Pearlstar: Trans people? In my clan? It’s more likely than you think.

Blisswhistle: For the last time, you can’t die of adhd.

Sparkspeckle: You can do whatever you want forever :D

Stormwhisper: I love you, but that is not helpful.

Stormwhisper, too nervous to ask for emotional support: Man, it smells like wrongdog in here.

Gravel: Aren’t you like 5’2?

Firebeetle: I self identify as tall.

Pearlstar: Every day my joints are shocked and disgusted that I would use them for their intended purpose.

Sparkspeckle: You can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end.

Icesheep: Yes you can.

Sparkspeckle: Shut up nerd.

Goldshine: In my defense, your honor, I simply do not care enough.

Nimblekit: Your honor, in my defense, who cares like omfgggggggg who cares????????? Like come onnn.

Skykit: Are you a girl or a boy?

Shadebreak: Uhh, well some people aren’t girls or boys!

Skykit: Wow, just like snails...

Shadebreak: ???

Straight Man: Hey

Titania: That’s enough.

Lilacpaw: I respect perfume commercials being like, we can’t show you a smell, mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds?

Shadekit: Hey we are all really small, do you wanna sleep in a pile.

Icekit, Stormkit and Sparkkit: Yes.

Blisswhistle: “Fuck it, we ball” (Malnourished, heavy eye bags, dehydrated, on the verge of insanity.)

Goldshine: Evil infodumping where you just tell lies.

Sparkspeckle: Tiktok

Icesheep: 5-minute crafts

Shadebreak: Resume

Stormwhisper: Men

Nimblekit: I fucking hate the hand that feeds me, I think i’ll do something fucked up to it.

Nimblekit: Sick injury bro, would be a shame if i added insult to it.

Pearlstar: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there fr.

Gravel: I wish they sold offbrand cars, get me a damn honder.

Firebeetle: Pulling up in the revolver.

Shadebreak: When two buses pass each other and the bus drivers don’t wave at each other, like omg... did you guys break up...

Blisswhistle: I can still crack a joke mid-breakdown, that’s why everyone is lucky to have me in their lives.

Gravel: They don’t kill the presidents like they used to.

Berrykit: The LMAO+ community.

Nimblekit: It’s LMFAO+ this is party rock erasure.

Sparkspeckle: It’s harder than you think to communicate with someone who isn’t familiar with the world of spongebob.

Goldshine: Pipe down your honor, you weren’t even there.

Goldshine: JFK?? Like from umbrella academy?? Haha... you know he’s not... real, right?

Stormwhisper: Wait, I though JFK was from clone high??

Sparkspeckle: JFK, as in Jesus Fucking Khrist, from the bible?

Icesheep: Isn’t JFK that fried chicken fast food chain.

Shadebreak: Guys cmon, it’s Jennedy Fennedy Kennedy, you gotta know this.

Goldshine: Mfs be named “James” and it only be one dude.

Nimblekit: Does violence have to be the last resort, can’t it be like third.

Lilacpaw: Free my man, he did all of it but I don’t care.

Pearlstar: Let me get this straight. Grabs the nearest heterosexual. Now, where were we. (He is holding nobody)

Blisswhistle: I’m so done with self care, it’s time for others harm.

Shadebreak: Fun fact. Shut the fuck-

Sparkspeckle: Nuh uh

Icesheep: FYM “NUH UH”???

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-⚡ anon

Genuinely made me laugh, I love these

#blisswhistle telling ‘for the last time you can’t die of adhd’ to Cresskit and Skykit #and Stormwhisper says in the background ‘wait you can’t?’#this is all very accurate lol #aphidasks

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writefinch · 1 year

Text

Communion

(cn: piss, foot stuff)

It clicked for me about a month ago, years after it had become apparent to the people who knew me, but I'm not short-sighted and self-pitying enough to think that meant I'd wasted time or could've made the leap sooner. If I was less kind to myself I'd say 'boy, I had the maps and I knew the landmarks so how'd I end up in the wilderness so long' but I was sailing through fog, and you know what? When I saw that landmass looming in the distance, I sailed towards it.

I didn't know totally what it meant, still don't in fact. Last year I joked about being a cis boy dyke, and since then I've struck the 'cis' and I'm shaky on the 'boy' and the part that was a joke was the truest thing of all. Am I a boy? Maybe. A woman? I don't think so. A man? I truly fucking hope not. A good girl? Put a collar on me and we'll see.

The thing about fog is that you can't just step back and get a big picture view of everything. My instincts tell me that if I want to figure things out I should look at them at a remove, see where it fits into everything around it, map things out and move forward cautiously. That's what I want to do, it's what I've always done, but fog makes it impossible. You have to get in close if you want to see things, you can't keep it at a distance.

I couldn't move ahead and start hormones right away, not for a few months, for reasons I won't get into here. Delays don't sit well with me brain because I know my brain and I don't trust it, I don't trust it not to treat this like some other big rewarding involving project like learning Polish or playing Go, decide we're too busy and it's too scary and shove the whole thing into a mental oubliette to never see the light of day again. Sure, my friends call me Charlotte now and I've got she/her next to my Discord username, but I wanted something stronger, I wanted something that would cut into me.

I can't remember the name of the first trans woman I knew as a person, rather than as a punchline to a cruel joke. It was on Tumblr and it must have been after 2015 because I remember she had an Undyne avatar, but maybe not, because surely Violet, the "boy" I'd been practically engaged to, had come out as trans at that point? Surely I knew Skeeter, that poor, vicious mess of a girl well enough by then? It must have been earlier than that, the ponies had turned me queer by 2013 at the latest.

No, no, the Undyne-avatar lady was the first time I saw someone I knew be openly *Marxist-Leninist*, she was just also trans.

Anyway I don't know what it was, but even though I was rock-solid confident in being cis and a guy (a guy or a dude, it never bought me any joy to think of myself as a 'man'), something about trans women just really stuck with me. I found their stories compelling, I found their experiences interesting and oddly relatable, though I didn't suffer dysphoria as I thought they described it. I made friends with some trans girls, some of my friends became trans girls, and suddenly most of my friends were trans girls. I burned at injustices done to them, I bought hormones for friends, donated to trans street medic projects, helped newly-cracked eggs get in touch with DIY medding sources, y'know, normal cis ally stuff.

Recently, I realized that I loved trans women. I fucking love them so much. I fucking love all of the varied and fractious transfemme communities that have allowed me to be a part of them, as nothing more than a cis guy who draws a lot of porn. I'm not going to say anything about Blahaj and Bridget and pink coding socks because I know the girl who fucking hates that silly terminally-online stereotype and I know the girl who *is* that silly terminally online stereotype and I love them both and love so many trans girls in all their aspects between and beyond those boundaries. I have never found myself so close to any group of people, so filled with admiration and wonder and love and lust for them, so overjoyed by their trust and friendship and confidence in me, so blessed to call myself a friend and contemporary, as I have of the trans women in my life.

I had accepted some time ago, with no pain and more than a little pride, that I would admire them but be apart from them, that my place would be as a welcome guest, that I would be among them but not one of them, and--

A crack has opened within me to let the light seep in.

I'm one of them. I really am one of them, they're mine and I am theirs and I never want to let this go, this revelation is a gift that I'm barely beginning to comprehend and I can't bear the thought that I might let it pass me by and slouch back into darkness.

So, I would bring a change upon myself, in a way that was small but could not be un-changed, a vow that could not be forgotten, only consciously recanted.

I cut out a lot of the idea before I brought it up, mostly out of time and expedience. I thought of a prayer to Inanna, but that felt like a clumsy thing to rush, and I decided I'd make a shrine to her only once I had the wisdom to pay Her proper respects. I liked the idea of getting caned or whipped in a purifying way first, but that felt too much like regular kink, just inspiration for another drawing. The idea of doing the ritual under psychedelics intrigued me but, well, I've never done anything but amphetamines and poppers before, and I didn't want to dull the experience of either the ritual or the drugs by combining the two under my own inexperience - though, I did include poppers.

Alice, Emily and Lily - not their real names but you get the picture - were very good about it. They told me it was a cute idea, and we met up at Emily's ground-floor studio flat on Sunday night. We'd have been playing board games anyway, and they even seemed a little excited by the idea, even if they weren't buzzing from anticipation like me.

I'd only worn the clothes once since I'd bought them - black tights, a knee-length straight skirt, a black blouse - but my heart didn't pound like that the first time I put them on. I shaved my face upwards and against the grain, my skin still annoyingly stubble-grey, but that would show much less in the candlelight.

When I stepped out of Emily's bathroom the girls had already set things up, candles and all. They were sitting on chairs in a semi-circle, backlit by flickering orange candlelight. As I approached they got stage giggles; I did too, it felt infectious.

Once the giggles had cleared, Alice, in the middle, asked me to state my name and purpose.

'My name is Sophie, and I am here to recieve communion.'

'Very well,' said Alice, and pointed to a spot between their chairs marked in white tape. I knelt there, a bowl of water to one side and a small bag at the other.

I turned to Lily, bowed my head, and asked her if I could wash her feet. She nodded, and I took the bowl and wash cloth and gently cleaned her feet with warm water. Once they were clean and free of sweat and sock lint, I bent down to dry them with my hair. She nodded her approval, and I asked Emily if I could do the same for her. Likewise I cleaned her feet and likewise dried them with my hair. Alice did not get her feet out, for me nor anyone, and instead allowed me to lick her shiny black boots, which only had the faintest hint of grit to them.

Once I had performed the ablutions, the girls daubed me. Alice held my jaw firm in one hand as she applied mascara to each of my lashes with the other, Emily let me rest my chin on her fingertip as she painted my lips a vibrant red, and Lily stroked my hair as she marked my cheeks with blush. They cooed and called me pretty, and Lily's blush felt superfluous.

I presented each of them with a gift: An Adventure Time tarot deck for Lily, a sharpening stone for Emily, a guide to mushrooms for Alice. They accepted the gifts, and gave me gifts in return: a simple black choker from Lily, a bottle of amyl nitrite from Emily, a stack of trans zines from Alice. My voice cracked a little as I thanked them, and cracked a little more after they watched me take a few long, heady hits from the poppers bottle.

Alice asked me if I was ready to recieve communion; I begged her, please, yes.

She took a blister pack of 2mg estradiol and popped out a single blue pill. I knelt and looked up at her, eyes open, heart thumping, mouth wide.

She placed the tiny pill on my tongue and said, 'Sophie, this bread is your flesh, which is given to you.'

Then, she stood up, unzipped her jeans, pulled her limp cock out of her underwear and pushed it between my lips, which I wrapped tight around it.

'Sophie, this wine is your blood, drink this in rememberance of yourself.'

It took her a moment to start pissing, and her urine immediately washed the pill down my throat. It tasted fucking disgusting, almost as salty as seawater with that weird, almost chemical aftertaste. It turned my stomach, and I felt euphoric as I sucked it down.

After that they praised me and called me a girl and a faggot and a whore, and I kept sucking Alice's cock until Emily wanted a blowjob too, and from there it turned into regular lesbian sex, Lily's chastity cage clinking fruitlessly against mine as Emily went around biting us both and Alice had me lick her armpit clean of sweat, fingering and kissing and pinching until we all got tired enough to start watching movies in Emily's bed.

I got up and fetched drinks and sandwiches for everyone and something happened between aftercare, the aftermath of a religious service, and an after-action report. They all kept calling me a pretty girl, which I *really* liked, and Alice asked me how the whole thing had turned out, if I felt anything had changed, and I had to eat two salami and cucumber sandwiches before I could figure out my answer.

Something had changed, but the change had happened months ago, and it had taken communion for me to see it. It didn't clear up my questions or reveal hidden knowledge, I don't know if I'm a she/her boy or a he/him girl, I don't know if I'm actually a woman or just not at all a man, I don't know if this is a thing I've become or if I've been this all along and it's taken this long to discover it. I don't even know if I've really settled on Sophie.

All I got from communion, from this sacred connection of love and knowledge from other trans girls to me, was surety in the things I already kinda knew:

I'm transgender as fuck and I'm a big fucking dyke.

#stories

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pansy-picnics · 8 months

Note

Helloooo I just wanted to say that your trans Varian art is very special and comforting to me <3 it gives me warm soft feelings and it always makes my day thank you very much. The little details you include like what he uses to bind and his family supporting him and also him feeling comfortable enough to take his binder off at the end of the day or around certain people just makes me feel so seen and happy <3 I hope you have a lovely day

AUGHHGJGG THANK YOUUUU you have no IDEA how happy these kinds of comments make me,,,, 🥹🥹🥹🥹 i don’t even really identify my gender myself and im definitely not transmasc but varian is just So violently transgender to me and it doesn’t feel right to not portray him that way. i put a lot of effort into my portrayal of it so when ppl say my art makes them feel seen i literally. scream and cry and throw up /pos

and YES you get it omfg…..the little freak plagues my mind constantly he is SO loved and supported by his family. he’s a very practical guy to me so unless he’s going out for work or has visitors or something he can’t really be bothered to get dressed up or bind. he used to when he first started working in the castle,, but now he feels a lot more comfortable there and if he’s just gonna be hanging around at home he’s not gonna go through all the extra effort. and him feeling safe enough to do that is SO important to me!!!!! it makes me so unbelievably happy that people are able to notice all those details and i’m just so,,, oughggghh

ALSO!! the detail of the binder in particular is actually one of my favorite things i haven’t really gotten a chance to talk about it here…..i’m kind of a history nerd also and although tts doesn’t really have a set time period (and i honestly don’t want it to), i enjoy adding in some historical references here in there cuz i just think it makes the world feel a lot more immersive. but heres a fun fact for you if you want to read:

most modern binders are made up of some kind of nylon or spandex, both of which weren’t invented until around the 1930s or 50s. most people use bandages to portray trans characters in fantasy settings, but bandages by themselves wouldn’t really do much unless they were compressive, and compressive bandages as we know them today also weren’t invented until around WW2. THIS is where corsets come in.

corsets get a rlly bad rep most of the time honestly, because for some reason most people are still convinced they were like. medieval torture devices. and they were used to promote a slim silhouette a lot of the time but so were a LOT of other garments!! corsets alone were undergarments worn on a day to day basis, both by rich and working class women and even by some men in the victorian era. they were just used the same way we wear bras today!! it wasn’t any different!!!

but boned garments like this also had the ability to shape and form the body, and though obviously i can’t confirm anyone was making corset binders in the 1800s people have been able to make modern replicas with similar materials that have almost the exact same effect as a modern chest binder, which tells us that it would’ve been completely possible for someone to hide their chest with a corset like garment AND!! it was quite literally PROVEN to us during the 1920s flapper era!!!

i could go on and on about the flapper era and it’s influence on the general social culture but basically, a LOT of inherent gender roles were being challenged, so women were wearing shorter skirts and haircuts, and women’s fashion trends in general started to take on a much more androgynous silhouette to reflect that. a boxy, more boyish shape was actually strived for and a lot of women with larger chests would wear bodices advertised as “bust reducers” to create this appearance, a lot of which were made with similar materials to corsets of the time!!!

they obviously aren’t exactly the same as a binder we would have today but its shockingly similar i think, and it’s just neat to know that people really have been doing this stuff for centuries :’3

#pansy-art #tangled the series #rapunzels tangled adventure #varian #lance strongbow #catalina schnitz #ruddiger #ask #tangled ask #history #pansy rambling again

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iavenjqasdf · 4 months

Text

👷‍♀️occupational hazards🐜

WorkerAnt, the world's app-first construction contracting platform, revolutionized the building-building industry. All you gotta do is just scroll through a couple of boring legal things on your phone and check some boxes and voila; you have everything you need to try and build a living with your own two hands! Who needs a fancy degree, or the hassle of going to a trade school? I certainly didn't!

They didn't even make me do a drug test, or ask why my name and sex didn't match what it still says on my license, so honestly it's like a win/win for everyone involved.

I did my paid training in like 20 minutes; I just needed to watch a few videos telling me where to go and what I’ll get fired for, plus one on how to use pronouns respectfully.

I already knew most of the stuff they were telling me, so I pretty much just got paid to relearn what the right things to call myself are for liability purposes. I usually do that for free!

Every day, all I gotta do is show up at the check-in location, get handed all my tools, and then I take my mandatory 30 minute lunch break in the app right as I wait in line for the elevator up to the job site, so I can focus on nothing but work for the next 12 hours. I don’t need to worry about food anyways, because they sometimes throw pizza parties for us, and there might be a few slices left when I come back down.

Most of the time work’s pretty boring; I'm just hammering some boards together or whatever. The whole building looks like it's basically already all built, so I'm not sure what all the things we're attaching and connecting to each other are supposed to do, and I don’t get paid enough to care.

But I can’t complain. It’s an honest job; I have tasks to accomplish and all the tools I need to accomplish them, as long as I don't fuck something up.

I'm very happy with this arrangement and it's all worked out really great for me so far.

It does get a bit lonely up there sometimes though.

There is my one coworker, Lana; I think she might also be trans, though it's kinda hard to tell under the hard hat goggles and respirator I always see her wearing. But she's always polite at me and doesn’t give me any trouble, and the bits of her voice I’ve heard that aren’t drowned over by power tools sound really nice.

Sometimes I think about it even when she's not around, which now that I think about it is kinda like stealing from the job site, and that’s a firable offense, so maybe I shouldn't be doing it.

She tends to work late like me, too. It takes us both longer than everyone else to finish all our tasks, but at least they pay us almost as much!

Tonight, it's New Year's Eve, and we're the only ones still up there; hammering stuff together, unable to look out at the empty city below, lit up and then abandoned for the season, because I'm being paid the minimum tipped wage to cut a 2x4 with a dinky little dollar store dremel, and we have to finish up before the sun sets, cause the cost of running the lights gets taken outta your pay.

BZZSCHLKK!

And now my finger hurts too.

I look down, staring at the little squiggly meat piece of guy lying on the workbench, and after a minute I realize that oh shit, that used to be part of my right pinky.

So might the scarlet mist that now covers most of the walls and floor. I’m gonna have to get THAT painted over before the end of my shift, too.

First things first, though.

"Um, hey Lana?"

The whirring echoing from the other side of the room powers down. Lana pulls her plastic goggles over the rim of her hard hat, both now spritzed ever-so-gently with my crimson phalangemarrow. She looks only mildly concerned as she swims upstream along the spatter pattern.

One of the stickers on her hat catches the sunlight, holographic prism reflections dazzling my vision before my pattern recognition software kicks in-

Y-yeah, I know what that logo is. I’m too afraid to ask her if she does, too though. They make s*x t*ys, after all, and I think those are by definition Not Safe For Work.

Without saying a word she grabs my wrist, yanking my hand up to her face to examine it. Even under the visor, her eyes are red; bloodshot, and they scare me a little, so I try speaking up.

"Um, Lana, I think I need to go to the, uh. Hospital, place,"

"Why?"

I stare at her, dumbfounded for a second, before a pulse of pain reminds me of the severance’s urgency.

"W-well, to get it, like, reattached, y'know?"

She looks at the little meat squiggum lying sadly on the bench, letting go of my hand.

"Not really anything left to reattach."

Her voice is muffled by the respirator, but her expression is one of almost boredom. I feel bad for offending her, even though I’m not sure how I did it.

I try flexing a bit. OUCH! Bad idea. I pinch hard just below the cut, to try to keep more things from coming out of me. "W-well, we have to at least try…"

She eyes her own workstation impatiently, dying orange skyfire burning in the reflections of her eyes. A little spurt of blood squirts out of my pinky stump.

"Look, if you keep wasting time worrying about stupid little things like that, you’re not gonna last long here.”

What the fuck is she talking about?! I’m very badly hurt, and I need to go get it checked out right away. Tears well up in my eyes as I keep staring at where my finger now ends, just above the second knuckle.

I'll never get to pinky promise silly things to my little sister again; I’d only have a reminder of this loss, something permanently removed I could never get back.

I inhale a sniffle. "P-please, we gotta go. I don't wanna go around rounding up the number of fingers I have for the rest of my life."

She rolls her eyes, reshielding them with her goggles. "Would a round number make you feel better?"

"What?"

My dremel's motor whines to life as she turns back to face me.

"For symmetry, y'know?"

Her tone concerns me.

She grabs my good hand, forcing it flat against the workbench. I try to pull free, but my knees are still a bit wobbly from the pain, and I don’t want to risk any sudden moves around the little spinning amputation death motor, so I can't try too hard.

“L-listen, I’m sorry for involving you. J-just let me go and I-I’ll just clock myself out, and get to the hospital on my own…” My hand grasps at her, trying to push her away, but all I succeed in doing is knocking her respirator loose, and I gasp as all the gouges and scars and other missing bits of her face come into focus at last.

I see her teeth click as her jaw clenches, bone trembling with the purest expression of rage. Her knuckles are white around the dremel.

"Long term, working here is gonna take a lot more of you than I’m gonna.”

BZZZZZZSZCHLRRKKRRRRRK--

“Oh, hold on, it got stuck.”

My vision doubles and quadruples, the room swimming around me as I try to keep myself from passing out. This is obviously a dream, and hey, I haven’t had one of these in a while, let’s just try to keep it going right hahahaha-

WHRRRGGZZCCHLLTLTTTTTT!

The spinny deathblade plants another gentle kiss against my fingerbone, tingling my entire skeleton with electromechanical sparks. I stare at a bead of sweat tracing down Lana's cheek as the blade grinds through at last with a spray of calcium white.

The whine fades as the disposable plastic motor inside the tool gets gummed up with mutilated chunks of gore. My mouth hangs open making a noise and I'm afraid it's probably kind of a pathetic one. The bottoms of my goggles are filling up with tears, but that means I’m doing a good job of keeping the crying contained inside, so there's a chance Lana might still think I'm cool.

“There you go. Eight plus two halves equals nine. Almost as many as before.”

“ohgodohgodohgodohgod-” I wish I had something more interesting to say.

“What? I thought you wanted a round number.”

“Ijustwantedmyhandstobenormalagain-”

She pauses for a moment, then wanders off into the neighboring room, leaving me standing there, trembling alone in the dark.

I think about trying to find my own way back to the elevator, but I’m afraid of tripping over a lead pipe or something on the ground and having to use my damaged limbs to break my fall and mangling them further, and I don’t wanna get my phone all bloody to use the flashlight either, so I stay put.

Fireworks burst off in the distance, prematurely celebrating the dawn of a big new thing. I try not to look down at my mutilated handflesh, instead insisting my gaze on the sunset bathing over the city.

It's a really nice view, and I don't know if I'll get to be up here to enjoy it ever again.

“Okay, here, I can fix everything.”

She's returned, and I can’t get away from her because I don’t want to say no, so I let her take my bleeding broken hands and lead me to the workbench again.

Behind her gore-spattered goggles, I can see her eyes are swimming with tears now too, like she doesn't know what the fuck she's doing either, but I don't even hate her for it, I don't think.

"Here, just hold onto me. I'll fix you."

She presses up close, close enough that I can feel a bit of her heat even through her jacket. She takes my unrecognizably mutilated hand in her own and strokes it softly.

The lead in my stomach sinks deeper when I see that she's holding a staple gun in her other.

I tighten my grip, spilling blood onto her palm.

THUNK.

----------------------------------------

She sweeps the remains of my amputated digits off the ledge with her boot, sending little chunks of meat tumbling into the glimmering city grid. Thankfully, the night is cold enough now that I can't feel much of my hands at all.

Staple gun didn't work out too good.

She fiddles with something on the side of her hard hat, and a light comes on. It's kind of dim, but it's better than nothing.

We walk past piles of unsawed boards, boxes of nails and wrenches and other tool things. Neither of us say anything to each other. Even more fireworks are whistling and exploding above the city in the distance but I'm not getting paid to care.

She stands beside me in the dusk-filled elevator. We descend slow, neither of us averting our gaze from the doors sealed tight in front of us.

“Um, Lana?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I'm coming in to work tomorrow.”

“You’re not,” she states plainly. “Any injury sustained on the clock is grounds for termination, remember?”

“Oh, right…”

We’re quiet for a while. I don’t like the silence, the emptiness, so I try to fill it as always. “Um, I’m sorry for getting you involved…”

“It’s fine,” she lets out a quivering little sigh and turns to face me at last. “I don’t think they were gonna keep me on much longer, either way. I waste a lot of staples…”

I pick at a little crooked piece of metal worming its way through the layers of fat and muscle that once made up our entwined fingers, wondering how much more might need to be amputated by the time we get to a hospital, then a laugh catches in my throat, when I remember we no longer have health insurance.

ao3

#📝#guro #ero guro #original fiction #toxic yuri #worker ants

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polyamorouspunk · 4 months

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Curious what your thoughts are on ppl being "obligate" polyam?

I ask because I've been debating if maybe I might be because I feel so in love with my gf rn, but... I still feel like I'm missing something. Like. She feels like a single flavor of food that I like. But, as much as I do I couldn't live off of just that one thing yk?

It scares me though, because she's explicitly monogamous, so I can't really go out and explore and try it out to see if it's for me without losing her. I don't really know what to do. Or how much longer I should stay still feeling like this. Or if I should just dismiss it as baseless anxiety and just let myself enjoy being with her.

I'm so scared to break her heart.

And like, how can I do this? How can I seriously be considering losing her just to try something I don't even know if I need or will even like.

It feels wrong, I love her this is stupid. But I just can't seem to dismiss it. I mean, I'm literally typing this in the middle of a New Years Eve party because I just can't get it out of my head.

I think what you’re calling “obligate” polyam is what I call “inherently” polyam, where, it’s like, I WILL fall in love or at least crush on other people and want to date them at the same time no matter what, it’s not a choice it’s just how I feel.

I started this blog as an outlet for my anger issues which I now realize probably stem from my bpd and just to talk about polyamory- correct the RAMPANT misinformation people were spreading, but also, to talk about the stuff no one else seemed to talk about. I’m really lucky that my polyam mutuals post about all the wonderful things about polyamory- the love, the amazing partners, the memes, etc. But that left me needing a space to talk about what I felt the most- shame.

I came out at 17 as polyam and it was awful. I was terrified I was going to lose my partner over it. I was filled with this awful feeling of being a horrible person for not “loving my partner enough” and so worried they were going to see it as them “not being good enough for me”. I mean I was seriously broken up about it.

But my partner took it in stride. We made it work. But I still felt this deep shame that ended up leading me to decide to be monogamous just for them after a while.

I even started dating my now-again-gf while dating my primary partner at the time, and although she literally dated me while I was dating someone else and quite literally knows I run this blog, I still haven’t re-brought-up the fact that I’m polyam, and that’s 100% hanging over my head, especially with how infatuated I am with someone else right now, though we’ve talked about that a little.

I’m really lucky I have people like @eevyerndracaneon and the people in my polyam discord server to talk openly about the shame and guilt that I still to this day feel about being polyam despite running one of the biggest polyamory blogs on this website.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned though, it’s that monogamous people can be a lot more open-minded than you’d expect. I’ve never actually dated anyone polyam. All of my partners have been monogamous. And all of my monogamous partners have been fine with me dating other people while also dating them.

And a few years ago, my brother came out as polyam! And it was even harder for him than coming out as gay! And once again I was lucky enough to ride on the tailwind of him coming out first as the older one and also come out as polyam. Even my best friend and I have talked about dating and having an open relationship in the past.

It’s funny, and wild, how many polyamorous people you’ll meet out in the open once you come out too. My first semester in college, I was sitting in front of two older trans guys when I heard them talking about polyamory, and shyly I turned around and asked if they were polyam and they said yes, and they were the first polyam people I had met (that I know of).

Just a few months ago I was at a concert and sat next to a group of 3 people that were all really touchy and flirty, and since they were all really obvious about it I just asked if they were all dating and they explained their polycule to me and I was just like… me! That’s me! Me too! And they were SO happy to meet me back!

A lot of the other polyam blogs on here will tell you the same thing: it’s unrealistic to expect one person to fill every single want and need you have, and can put a lot of pressure on that person to do things they maybe aren’t comfortable with.

It’s not as unusual and shameful as you might think. It’s really all about conquering that inner polyphobia, which can be really hard, and is a process. Hell, I’m 24 now, and run this majorly successful polyam blog, and I’m STILL in my discord server like “guys idk how to tell my gf I’m polyam… again… uh… imma just not rn”.

Only you can decide what the best course of action for you is. I know I’ve lived fine with choosing monogamy and feeling like I’m missing out on some of my wants/needs as a sacrifice for a wholesome relationship I wanted to keep. A compromise, if you will. I also know that not coming out to my partner as polyam was eating me up inside at the time. And that when they did end our relationship and I was able to be with someone else I did realize things I was missing from that relationship and how GOOD it was to finally have those things.

Be optimistic. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, really, it’s that there’s more of us out there than you think, even if we go by different names, but also that monogamous people really can be open-minded and willing to share a partner.

#punk gets mail #polyamory #polyam #polyamorous

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howmanyholesinswisscheese · 4 months

Text

Welcome!

It’s come to my attention I don’t have an intro post (could’ve sworn I did but it’s disappeared somewhere) so here it is :)

NOTE: Fam FAQ under the cut :D

Hello!

You can call me Arthur or Art

He/him 🏳️‍⚧️ (pronouns.page)

Peppa pig was not my sexual awakening she just made me sound British. Yes I’m the guy who gave the Good Omens Mascot dad issues. No comment.

I’m aroace but it’s all a bit hand wavy, autistic, trans masc, and overall a bit of a mess. Enjoy my flailing.

I write fics sometimes

Primarily a Good Omens blog, with a hefty serving of shitposting and family drama.

DMs and asks are open, I’m always up for a chat. I mean it. Tap on the glass. TAP ON IT.

Fic or chapter suggestions and fic recs are also welcome!

More info under the cut (fandoms, other sites, tags)

Fandoms I’m into right now:

Good Omens (primarily)

Doctor Who

Sherlock & Co

And various other random stuff if I feel like it