#I still think its quite lame lol

[tgammsideblog]

On Bill Motz’s thread on Scratch, cartoon fandom has weird idea of how redemption arcs work, which they think it consists in a character learning a lesson and becoming a complete different one without barely making the same mistakes again or having setbacks.

The true is that a person doesn’t change in a day and stops being what they are, they are going to make many mistakes along the way. They are going to have moments when they fall back in their old habits because getting over behavior you have had most of your life is difficult.

I think one of the few shows i watched that really gets this is Bojack Horseman, which is adult animation. The main character Bojack tries changing multiples times in the series and he fails miserably more than one time. He ends up pushing people away and completely ruining relationships forever. It takes him a long time until he starts to work on be better himself.

Speaking about that, i have watched very few animated shows with semi-episodic format that dion’t have the characters learn a lesson multiple times before they start changing. Not only that but older cartoons used to make the character learn lessons that rarely sticked to them and i don’t see people saying that they are bad series because of it. Look at Anne from Amphibia, it took her almost a season to really start seeing her changing and had to learn tons of things along the way. 

#The Ghost And Molly McGee #tgamm #TGaMM Scratch #That doesn't mean i'm a big fan of the plot B in the internship episode #I still think its quite lame lol

[party-dude]

DREAM TEAM

Brain Damage Dude(s) x Reader | Lemon | 18+ | Semi-cuckolding? | double teaming | spit roast | Humiliation | Its gonna get Weird okay? Its Brain Damage! | Ignore if you saw the first one, accidentally posted when I fell asleep lol.

No beta reader u know the drill.

You gotta be fucking kidding...

Dude squints at the sight in front of him. His hands slide under his sunglasses and scrub at his eyes, making sure he's not just seeing things. He opens them and... nope! Still fucking there.

"Ungh! D-Dude!"

It's You! You're laying there on the plush pink bed that just keeps fucking appearing. Bent over with your ass in the air and your head pressed deep into the duvet. Your face twisted into pleasure; eyes rolling and drool leaving a small stain on the bedding below. Dude's eyes rake over the sight, taking it in and letting his body flutter in reaction, but he's not exactly focused much on you at the moment. No.

He's mostly looking at Him.

The bastard who keeps showing up and taunting him at every turn in this stupid dream: The Other Dude.

He's there, behind you, taking you for himself. Fingers digging deep into your hips as he pounds into you. The weathered hospital gown bunched up over his hips, covering anything visual happening underneath but Dude doesn't need to see to know what's happening. The Bastard's not even watching you enjoy the treatment he gives you. He's staring at Dude.

"Oh. Hey there, Dude." Other Dude greets him, sounding unaffected by what he's doing to you and voice laced full with humor. The usual dumb grin plastered on his (handsome) face.

Dude wants to roll his eyes at his voice but that means tearing his eyes away from the scene in front of him. You let out a whine and he feels something stir again.

"About time you showed. I was getting worried you'd miss this!" Other Dude grabs a fistful of your hair, tugging you up to give Dude a better look at your face. Chuckling when you let out a yelp that turns into a moan.

Dude's eyes widen and his mouth drops open; his sunglasses sliding down his nose. He quickly has a thought that this might be venturing onto some fucked up kick he doesn't want to think about right now. The thought of someone else taking you, even if that someone else happens to be a subconscious dick bag version of himself, shouldn't be turning him on this much. He quickly dismisses the thought and grimaces.

"So, what's all this about? Trying extra hard now to be me..?" Dude mentally groans at his lame attempt to rib Other Dude. He's a bit to preoccupied staring at you now, watching you whine and thrash and arch and beg and-

Dude swallows, trying to wet his dry mouth. He's definitely hard now, the gown rising a bit in the area.

Other Dude laughs, breath huffing out as he keeps thrusting. "Not at all. Just showing them who The. Real. Dude. Is." He punctuates each word with a thrust, hard and quick. Making your eyes roll; you face plant back into the bedding when he slips his hand out from your hair. Your screams muffled by the bedding and mattress.

Wet sounds of skin and fluid slapping fills the air and Dude's head goes light. It remind him of every filthy porno he's ever seen all at one and his fingers twitch, wanting to touch you for himself. Other Dude chuckles smugly again. "Quite a looker you've got, Dear Dude. Shame they like me more."

Dude frowns now. Getting angry and annoyed at the implication. You turn your head, your eyes meeting his and you whine. A hand slides across the duvet and you reach for him. "Dude! P-Please..?" Butterflies swarm in his stomach and he blushes. Even when you're getting fucked in front of him, you still want him. He quickly, stomps them out. Nope! No Lovey Dovey shit right now. He needs to prove something to a certain Bastard.

"Heh. Right.. That's why even with your cock in them they're still begging for the Real Deal. Ain't that right, sweetheart?" He glances down at you and your pretty, flushed face. You nod, biting a lip to hold back a moan.

Behind you, a frustrated growl comes and a gloved hand connects with your ass, hard. You let out a yelp and Dude's eyes widen, taking a few steps towards you.

"Wanna prove something, Dude?" Other asks, fingers gripping your flesh so hard they leave small crescent marks indented. "Then try it. I'll still have them screaming for me while they choke on your cock. I promise."

Dude, never one to back down from a challenge, (especially one this hot and depraved) sniggers and nods. "You're on, Asshole."

He steps forward. Taking his position in front of you. Other leans back, slowing his movements, so you can rise on shaky arms to greet Dude. You look destroyed, face running with tears and drool and sweat. Dude smirks, sliding a hand to your cheek.

"Hey there, Beautiful. Ready to put on a show for this prick? Show 'em who you really belong to?"

You swallow; lips parting and breath panting. Excited to finally have him, you nod quickly. He smirks, reaching behind the gown; undoing the ties. Letting it fall into a fabric puddle at his bunny slippered feet. Other Dude laughs loudly, causing Dude to raise an eyebrow.

"That's it? Yeesh! No wonder they've been cock drunk! That's all they have to work with!" Other falls forward, giggling and using you for support. You yelp at the weight and your arms nearly give. "Go on! Tell him! Tell him how small it is!" Other slaps at you, egging you on to degrade and humiliate. You blink at the order and you hesitate. Turning your head to look at him in question. You don't get far as he snatches out, grabbing your hair like reigns and pulling you back, forcing you to stare straight ahead at Dude. "Tell him."

You lock with Dude's eyes and swallow again. Voice coming out meek and shaky. "I-It's small!"

Dude hates how his cock twitches at the words, precum leaking from out his tip. Other notices and laughs again, the humiliation building under Dude's skin further. Other Dude drops your head, letting you fall forward again.

"Get on with it, We all know I'm winning anyway."

Dude rolls his eyes, turning his attention back towards you. You reach up, grabbing his cock and taking it into your mouth. You barely even get adjusted before Other Dude starts fucking you again, thrusting up into you rough and hard. You gasp and moan around Dude's cock, getting pushed onto it deeper. You gag and Dude groans.

He takes your hair into his hands like a handle and holds you steady. Fucking your face. Other Dude bucks and grinds and finally, finally, finds the spot to make you roll your eyes and whine. Both Dudes whine at the noise at the same time and their movements sputter.

Dude looks down at you, his sunglasses sliding down his sweat slicked face now. He takes in your appearance again and smirks, realization crossing him. Looking up at the Other, he speaks. "They're close."

Other nods in acknowledgement and his face breaks out into a dark grin. Giggles spilling from his throat as he keeps up the pace. Watching your ass jiggle and smack against his hips.

Dude pulls his cock from your throat, stroking himself. "Let me finish on that pretty face, yeah?" His voice, low and gruff, makes you whine.

"Fuck! Dude! I-I'm close!" Your eyes screw shut and you finish hard against Others cock. His eyebrows rise, groaning something depraved at the release and he pulls out once you finish. Stroking himself off. Each Dude lets out a groan at your despertate noises and they finish in tandem. Dude painting your face; Other releasing along your lower back.

Other Dude groans and falls backwards onto the bed. His gown falling back down to cover him fully again. His arm comes up to cover his face. Your arms finally give and you slump forward into the plush comforter, face sideways to prevent Dude's spent from squishing everywhere. Dude somehow manages to stay upright, head tilted upwards with his eyes screwed shut and face flushed. You're all three huffing for air and coming down.

Dude is the first to break the silence. "I win."

Other Dude's head snaps upwards. Hand slamming down onto the space next to him, brows twisted with frustration and anger. "No. Way. You didn't feel how they were clenching down around me!"

Dude chuckles and shrugs. "And you couldn't see how they were looking at me. Practically worshipping me."

Other snarls and suddenly rises to his unsteady legs and lunges at Dude, pulling him down into the ground. They roll around and fight, throwing punches at each other, like siblings fighting over a favorite toy. Arguing all the while about who you favored more.

You sigh at the sight and wipe your face with one of the sheets, cleaning yourself up. Grumbling to yourself.

"This dream fucking sucks."

#postal dude x reader #postal #postal dude #postal: brain damaged #lemon #lord yall i was so embarrassed when i woke up and saw that i published that draft #😔😔 #this could b better but its okay #dude fics #ALSO I STILL HAVENT FINISH BD LMAO I JUST GOT TOO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

hi! what do you think are the best/most tolerable episodes in season 4 of community? it’s widely regarded as the worst season and I never know which episodes to watch each time I go through a community rewatch binge lol. so, I figured I would consult the encyclopedia! (this is my first time using the ask feature so I apologize if I am not using it correctly)

heyo! this is a great question. I actually have an abbreviated season 4 watchlist that cuts out the worst episodes (in my opinion), while staying comprehensible and making sure you're still able to follow the season's overarching plots:

4x01: history 101

4x03: conventions of space and time*

4x05: cooperative escapism in familial relations*

4x06: advanced documentary filmmaking

4x08: herstory of dance

4x11: basic human anatomy*

4x12: heroic origins*

4x13: advanced introduction to finality

the episodes with asterisks* are the ones I actually really enjoy watching. the others on the list are pretty mid, but are, in my opinion, important enough to the overarching plot and character development to be worth watching. when I'm showing other people season 4 for the first time, I adhere to this watchlist lol.

I’m going to do some (hopefully quick) explanations of how I came up with this list, but you don't have to read it if you don't want to lol:

✅ history 101: it's the first episode of the season, so it really does set the tone and establish some important details (jeff wants to graduate early, troy and britta are dating, this is their last year at greendale, etc.) as with most of season 4, the weirdness seems really contrived and unnatural, but it does have its moments of being genuinely funny. it's also a pretty abed-centric episode, which is always a bonus lol

❌ paranormal parentage: I don’t hate this episode, but it's just kind of boring and doesn't really add anything to the season. I love megan ganz but... yeah. a lot of the jokes seem forced, and there's way too much pierce for my liking. there are a couple good one liners ("you should probably tell your boyfriend's boyfriend" "I remember when this show was about community college") and it does help set up jeff finally contacting his dad, but imo it doesn't quite make the episode worth watching

✅ conventions of space and time: I’ve heard that some people hate this episode? couldn't be me. way too much trobed for me to hate it lmao. there is a lot of jeffannie in it too, but that resolves with the conclusion that annie is just a romantic who loves to fantasize, and doesn't actually have real feelings for jeff. it actually fuels my lesbiannie agenda tbh, because she is evidently just in love with the idea of a man but doesn't actually put that into practice. but that's another post lmao. we have some great one-liners, we have britta helping troy through his jealousy, we have "troy will find me :)" we have some more inspector spacetime lore, etc etc. I love this episode and rewatch it frequently.

❌ alternative history of the german invasion: for me, this episode has almost zero redeeming qualities. the jokes are lame, I hate professor cornwallis, there is so much discontinuity, it has zero importance in the bigger picture of the season and the show, it's out of character, etc. the one thing I like is the end tag.

✅ cooperative escapism in familial relations: this is a big one for me. I never see people talking about it, but to me this episode is one of season 4's saviors. we have HUGE jeff development, jeffbritta moments, some much needed shirley screentime and development, some great jokes ("-to eat garbage dip WHY DID I HAVE TO GO THIRD), classic trobedison shenanigans, and the shawshank redemption homage is very funny to me. plus! adam devine cameo! I like this episode more every time I watch it. unsung hero fr.

✅ advanced documentary filmmaking: okay so I won’t lie, I fucking HATE the changnesia arc. I think it is so incredibly stupid and uncreative. there are a million different and better ways they could have brought him back. but, this episode is just too important in the season's development to skip. and, honestly, if I ignore the whole premise, there are a lot of funny bits and jokes in this one. troy constantly smiling at the camera (read: smiling at abed), troy and annie being the silliest ever, jeff's trust issues, and ken jeong is truly very funny, I just hate this arc so much. but ultimately it's too important to cut. imo.

❌ economics of marine biology: I basically feel the same about this one as I do about alternative history of the german invasion. it's boring, the premise is stupid, it's out of character, it's unfunny, the guest character is lame, and it's pointless to the overall plot. abed and the delta cubes is a little bit funny? and I guess you could argue that the jeff and pierce development is important? but I’d refute that very quickly. it's pierce, who cares. not. worth. it.

✅ herstory of dance: this episode is honestly the upper end of mid, but it has enough good jokes and development to make it worth it. it is also Very abed-centric, which we've established is always a plus imo, and his whole bit with going on two dates at once is very in character. he also meets rachel, who comes back in season 5, so that's important. it also has some great jeff & britta development!!! which is sort of few and far between in the later seasons!!! yippee!!!

❌ intro to felt surrogacy: tied for my least favorite community episode of all time. it's clear they tried to do something similar to what they did with abed's uncontrollable christmas, but it is so incredibly contrived that it is physically painful to watch. I hate the puppets. the hot air balloon story is so stupid and out of character. the songs are bad. how dare they sully the legacy of my third favorite episode (lmao). the only redeeming qualities are troy as a whole (all of his lines are good, and that moment when he pretends his puppet is falling asleep is very funny), and the fact that pierce is not physically in it. but those do not make up for how horrific the rest of it is. in my opinion. haha.

❌ intro to knots: once again! Tied For My Least Favorite Community Episode! they're right next to each other, how convenient. and again: bad jokes, bad premise, I fucking hate professor cornwallis, the changnesia shit is back, the plot is ALL over the place, there is little to no actual character development, the dialogue just goes in circles, and it ends with a random litter of kittens that are never mentioned again??? I guess the only mildly important thing is the end tag with the evil study group, which comes back during the season finale. but yeah. not worth it. disgusting.

✅ basic human anatomy: and here we have a HUGE jump from the last one. this is my favorite season 4 episode, and is probably in my top 15 from the entire show. I could talk about this episode for hours. the troy development alone is so so so good and important. add abed into the mix and Oh Boy!!! britta is great in this one, jeff and the dean's whole thing is so fucking funny, shirley and annie competing against leonard for valedictorian on a technicality is very in character and silly, danny and donald's acting in this one is commendable, etc etc etc. there really isn't much, if anything, I dislike about this episode. jim rash being the credited writer makes me love him even more. legendary. outstanding.

✅ heroic origins: I actually really like this episode. it does still have that sort of unnatural and off-putting vibe that the majority of season 4 has, but I think it holds up. it's in character, it has some great jokes and one-liners, and although it does have its moments of discontinuity, it does a surprisingly good job of staying compliant with what has already been established. certainly much better than alternative history of the german invasion. abed's whole bit with the star wars prequels makes me laugh, the annie's boobs lore, footage of annie and troy in high school (surprisingly well done if you ignore the discontinuity of troy's injury), etc. it's also massively important for the overarching season plot, and we finally get to the conclusion of the stupid changnesia arc. I could go on and on, there's just a ton of really cool callbacks (including one to the pilot, which I only noticed a few months ago and am obsessed with), and I just. wasn't expecting this one to work out as well as it did. pleasantly surprised, all in all.

✅ advanced introduction to finality: this one is not great tbh, but it's too important plot-wise to skip. and, I mean, it does have some good moments. abed immediately recognizing evil jeff, the whole thing being in jeff's head a la remedial chaos all being in abed's head (insert something about how this being yet another demonstration of how fundamentally jeff and abed understand each other, which I could expand way more on but won't in this particular post), season 2 of the cape, "one of us is out of bullets" "is it you" "...yeah" "why would you tell me that," and more. overall, yeah, worth watching imo.

I do also want to say that I think season 4 is a bit overhated. I do agree that it is the worst season, I think most of us can agree that that is an objective truth, but it does have its moments and I do get slightly frustrated when people write the entire season off.

I’m also happy to hear anyone else's opinions on what you think is/isn't worth watching in season 4, especially if you really strongly disagree with me. I’m curious to what your reasoning is lmao.

okay! this is definitely way more elaboration than you needed, but I hope this was helpful 💯💯💯

#sorry again for the long wait on a response #thank you for your patience :) #community #nbc community #community nbc #media analysis #community encyclopedia

[arlertdarling]

Congrats on 100 followers! This is such a sweet thing to do to celebrate and I hope you have as much fun writing them as I'm sure we will reading them 💜

I don't want to take up a slot if you get too many requests, but the prompt of photograph made me think about Hange's excitement over Marleyan technology. Would you consider doing a canonverse drabble about Hange getting their photo taken for the first time (or something similar)? Whatever level of platonic or romantic so long as its sweet and fluffy because it's what Hange deserves ☺️

thank you so much! so far i’m really enjoying writing these and i don’t have many at all, so no worries, but i appreciate your consideration<3

i absolutely adore this idea, i hope i did it justice! i got carried away so this is about 900+ words whoops. also i did a lot of research on cameras from the 1910s lol i hope it’s accurate

PHOTOGRAPH

hange x gn!photographer!reader, anti-marleyan volunteer!reader, reader is a lame and insecure little photography nerd (affectionate), canonverse

this request is a part of my 100+ follower event; if you’re interested, check out this post!

people have asked to hold your camera before, but never to examine it — which is exactly what commander hange did after discovering what you do for a living. along with that, they also insisted on a demonstration of what your ‘fascinating marleyan tech’ does — and that’s how you’ve ended up here, with hange turning over and inspecting a heavy, nickel-plated invention called the ‘camera’.

“oi, be careful with that thing,” levi says to hange, but they completely ignore him and continue to handle the instrument with frenzied interest, studying every component up-close and fiddling with its mechanics.

it’s not every day — at least not before you arrived in paradis with yelena and the others — that you see someone so in awe of the technology you’ve grown accustomed to and use regularly. it makes you nostalgic, in a way, seeing hange so amazed by the camera and all its intricate features, as it reminds you of when you first saw one.

“wow,” hange breathes, probably the only thing they’ve said that isn’t mumbled, unintelligible word vomit. “wow, this is just– wow!”

you giggle at their reaction as they take one last look over the camera before handing it back to you, a greater level of care and respect in their hold than before.

“so...” they point their thumb at the chair and backdrop set up behind them with a grin. “we just stand here and you make the ‘photograph’?”

the way they phrase it makes you smile, not bothering to correct them since it’s so endearing and instead just nodding. hange is already by the chair, gesturing to it for levi to sit in. he glares and slaps their hands away, telling them to sit in it. hange teases him about having a complex but complies anyway. you laugh at the scene inwardly while you set the camera on its tripod and readjust its mechanisms. in your peripheral vision, you see hange in the chair, rambling to levi — who’s standing awkwardly behind them — about how they should sit and what expression they should make. you smile and continue to make adjustments; turning the dial, tweaking the aperture, checking the eyepiece. once you’re sure that everything is calibrated, you straighten up.

“okay. please be as still as possible for at least eight seconds,” you announce.

hange sits up. “wait, wait! eight seconds? why is that?”

you’re a little caught off guard by their questions. usually people just nod and do as they’re told because ‘you’re the expert here’ but you admire their curiosity. “um, the camera has a slow shutter speed,” you answer, lightly tapping the lens, “so the photograph will be blurry if you move.”

hange frowns in thought. “what happens if i move on accident? what if i need to sneeze? what if– hey! maybe if you could make a quicker ‘shutter speed’–” they gasp. “or maybe if there was a way to allow it to capture movement–”

“focus, four-eyes,” levi snaps at them, “and quit fidgeting or else the photograph will be shitty.”

“ah, i can’t help it!” hange exclaims. the entire time, they haven’t stopped squirming, too giddy and ecstatic. they keep thinking back to the photo they found in eren’s basement and how soon they’ll have one of their own; a physical, permanent reflection of a moment in time. “this is just so exciting!”

they finally settle down and smile, all teeth. levi has been ready the entire time, posed with his arms folded across his chest; not even looking at the camera, but you suppose that’s likely the best you’ll get and press the button under the lens. the camera clicks and you wait a few seconds before taking it off the stand and opening up the shutter compartment.

hange is by your side in a flash and levi has to catch their chair as it’s almost knocked back from how suddenly they leap out of it. “is it done? can i see?” hange pesters eagerly, hovering over your shoulder and trying to catch a glimpse of the photo. levi follows after them, but stands to the side, waiting.

you laugh. “ah, no, it’s not ready yet,” you tell them. “it needs to be exposed to light for a minute or so before i remove it, and then it’ll take some time to develop, and after that, some more time to print... it’s, uh– it’s quite the tedious process, really.” instead of the typical confused or dumbfounded expression you’re used to, you see admiration and wonder and bewilderment, like hange wants to hear you keep talking, to tell them more about photo production — and that’s when you get an idea.

“actually,” you say, meeting their keen eyes, “i can show you, if you’d like?” they just stare at you, expressionless. “um, it’s– it’s time-consuming so i understand if you don’t want to stay for the whole process–”

“i can?! really?!” they cling to your arm like a puppy, almost delirious in their excitement. their face lurches forward, eyes wide and eager behind their glasses. “can i try making a photograph? please say yes!”

you chuckle. “i’ll have to think about it,” you say and take out the film, then lift it up and show it to hange. “for now, let’s go get this developed.”

hange’s glasses glint as they snicker almost maniacally before grabbing levi by the arm. “leviii!” they shout, and the short man winces at their volume, grumbling a ‘stop yelling’ to which hange responds, “wanna tag along?”

“uh, i’ll... pass,” he says, shrugging off hange’s hands. he glances at you, then back at hange. “i’m leaving. i’ll see you at tomorrow’s morning meeting, hange. don’t be late.”

as he’s leaving, hange calls out, “your loss!” and waits for him to disappear down the corridor before turning back to you. “anyway! ‘developed’, you said?”

you look up from where you’re collapsing the billow back inside the camera. “oh, uh, yes.”

hange grins. “lead the way!”

#i read over this so many times i can't stand to look at it😭 #i really hope it's okay #divider by benkeibear #x reader #hange x reader #hange x you #hange x y/n #hange zoe x reader #hange zoe x you #hange zoe x y/n #hange fluff #aot x reader #aot fluff #{♡} juno writes !! #{♡} juno’s 100+ event !!

[nemmet]

ok ok ok i know you def headcanon fred autistic too (besides mystery inc which is canon lol) so you were the first person i could think to say this to after reading your posts sooo

i bet !!!! he was autistic coded the whole time and the creators themselves just did not know what they were doing!!!

before autism had a name and well known rep and stuff, before people really knew what it was, higher functioning autistics were just “quirky” or whatever. and say, if you were making a tv show or book, you wanted to take inspiration from real life. and you gave one of your characters traits you’d seen in those quirky individuals. you didn’t know what it was nor did anyone else, it was just a personality trait you gave them based off of what you’d observed !

neither the creator nor viewers would know that person was autistic. it was just mimicking traits you’d seen irl. and that’s why i strongly believe fred is autistic coded whether they planned it or not, even — almost especially — in a time where autism wasn’t well known !!!! that’s an argument given a lot from what i’ve seen, that an old cartoon wouldn’t purposely have an autistic character. but they would and they have. they just don’t know that’s what it’s called. it’s just a part of life, which people forget. buddy’s just undiagnosed lol /hj

autism is everywhere mwahaha >:)

anyways sorry for rant and quite possibly stating the obvious 😭😭

the way my face lit up when i saw this in my inbox!!! always so happy to talk about autistic fred :)

autistic coding absolutely happens in cases where the writer doesn't intend it, and early versions of fred very well could be one!! a lot of his "quirky" moments in the older shows come from the odd scene where he does something so bizarre and spontaneous that it flips his well-put-together exterior on its head, like running down the joker & penguin in a rolling tire. this source of comedy from his character very much continues into his later incarnations, just in a way that seems more thoughtful/purposeful. like, at first glance he seems to be a very average, simple, good-looking boy!! but then he opens his mouth and he's a lame grandpa who will tell you about the history of nets regardless of whether or not you're listening, and impulsively start cheerleading routines to raise his friends' spirits.

and all of that just feels like such an autism thing, or at least one i can relate my own personality and experiences to. i love the idea that the writers of pre-mystery inc versions of fred may have taken character inspiration from similarly undiagnosed or unrecognised neurodivergent people in a time when those traits were merely considered "quirkiness". the idea that he's undiagnosed up until mystery inc is so canon to me now.

and to top it all off, yeah fred can be the butt of the joke sometimes, but he's still always a character we feel endeared to and want to root for! his strengths are unconventional and concentrated in specific areas, but he's highly competent and caring while also feeling human in his moments of awkwardness and insecurity!! and that's why i think he's such a great autistic character in both coding and canon, and why it makes me happy to see people celebrate this about him.

your ask was such a lovely thing to read and respond to, thank you! and thank you if you're still here and have read nem's ramble number 1000000 about autistic fred. goodnight coolsville ohio

#it's so wild how you can be feeling really stressed and out of it #but then you talk about your special interests for four paragraphs and it's like peace and love on the planet earth my crops are thriving #thank you again krash!! #scooby doo #fred jones #nem askbox :D

[jasntodds]

Caving In [11]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 12,364

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst :), blood, injuries, canon violence, canon injuries, violence, lots of self doubt from the reader and Jason, a panic attack, heights, Jason, reader, and gar blaming themselves a lot, “go through me” trope

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: I’ll tell y’all who the endgame is next chapter for reasons lol it’ll be in an author’s note at the end by my taglist!! Also, I did post some of this as a two-shot lol I changed quite a bit of it when I posted it so it’s different but some of it is the same lol I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Jason comes to, his arms hung and tied above his head. His arms are supporting his weight, his feet dangling a foot from the floor. His head is pounding, spinning a little as his head nods. The weight of his eyelids feels like cinderblocks. Everything comes back to him like a leak in a boat, slowly but fluidly. The panic starts to settle in again as the flash of you with the sword to your face, Deathstroke on the other end, hits him.

He looks around, seeing you tied to a second beam about ten feet away from him. You’re dangling further from the ground than he is, your arms tied above your head and your head is hung. From where Jason is hanging, he can’t make out if you’re breathing or not and the every idea that you might not be, makes his head spin and his stomach nauseous.

“Y/n?” Jason calls but he doesn’t get a response. “Y/n!” Jason raises his voice a little louder, trying to look around for any sign of Deathstroke or Dr. Light but he doesn’t see either of them. “Y/n!” Jason calls again, this time his voice breaking slightly.

You aren’t answering and he fights the rope holding him up, trying to free himself. He uses all of his strength to lift himself up, trying to get enough momentum to loosen the rope but it doesn’t work. He does this a few times before he hears someone walk in from behind him.

Jason can see hints of light from over his shoulder and the sound of energy being used fills the, what seems to be, basement. The walking sounded off to Jason and now the use of energy does, too. It sounds muffled and at first, he thought it was because he was still just coming to but now he’s thinking he took some real damage. But he pushes that thought away and Jason gets an idea. Dr. Light didn’t like Jason making fun of him so all he has to do is keep talking. Get Dr. Light to come over to him. Jason can free himself and if he takes out Dr. Light right now, it’ll be one less psycho to deal with. So, he looks at you once more and shakes his head, pushing the thought of you being dead as far away from his mind as possible so he can be annoying.

“Ah, Dr. Light.” Jason calls out before gaining the energy to give up a chortle. “Did you come up with that shit by yourself or did your parents saddle you with that bullshit? I mean, come on, what a lame fucking name.”

“Shut it!” Dr. Light yells, his voice already annoyed. Jason knows this guy stands no chance against him. He could do this for hours.

“What? Is my talking annoying you, dickweed?” Jason chortles once more. “Cause that’s the thing,” Jason’s voice is breathy. “I can do it all day.” Jason states as he hears Dr. Light moving towards him and he knows he’s just won. “All night and if you’re nice, twice on a Sunday.” Jason finishes just as Dr. Light stands in front of him.

“I said, shut the fuck u--” Dr. Light starts but he’s cut off as Jason kicks him in the lower abdomen.

Dr. Light curls over in pain and Jason doesn’t let up. He kicks him a few more times, once in the chest and then in the face. The kick to the face gets Dr. Light to turn on his knees, his back towards Jason now. Jason wraps his leg around Dr. Light’s neck and squeezes as hard as he can. It’s taking every bit of energy Jason has to hold himself to do this but he knows he has to if he wants to get him and you out of here. So, he holds on and fights through the pain until he feels Dr. Light go limp.

“Night, night, asshole.” Jason states with a slight relief in his voice.

He takes no time in dislocating his thumbs to free himself. It’s not always ideal, it’s not exactly comfortable to do but it’s his only option. He pops the digits out of place and is able to free himself. He drops to the ground and pops the thumbs back into place before running over to you.

Jason cups your face, the panic pooling back in his stomach. “Y/n? Come on, you gotta wake the fuck up.” Jason mutters, shaking your head slightly. Jason peaks behind you, not seeing any sign of Deathstroke. “Please…” Jason shakes your head again, his brows furrowed and hands shaking. He doesn’t even realize he’s shaking. He just wants you to wake up. “Y/n.” Jason’s voice breaks as the burning behind his eyes becomes almost unbearable. “Wake up. His teeth grit between words.

You groan and Jason lets out the biggest breath. Your eyes peek up slowly, your eyelids heavy as if you’ve only been sleeping for an hour after pulling an all-nighter. Your arms feel heavy and weak above your head, almost completely numb. Your head is pounding and there’s a ringing in your ears.  And your eyes finally open fully, seeing Jason.

“Jay?” Your voice is raw as you say his name.

“You okay?” He asks, his eyes rapidly moving across your face, his hands not moving from your face.

There’s blood coming from his right ear and you wonder why he’s asking you if you’re okay. He’s very clearly injured. But, you are the one still tied up.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m…I’m okay.” You nod, pulling at the restraints.

You’ve never seen Jason anything but confident and cocky and angry. A part of you wondered if he could even feel anxiety because he never showed it, not until now. You can feel his hands shaking against your face and his lip is trembling just a little bit. How is he ever going to recover from this?

Jason nods with you. “I’m gonna cut you down.” He finally moves his hands and lifts your hoodie only to see they, of course, took your knives. Your heart sinks and Jason sees the look of defeat cross your face. “No, it’s fine.” Jason brushes it off, pressing the R on his chest, and releasing one of the blades. “Got it covered.” Jason smirks at you and it makes you feel a little better about this.

You’ve been captured and it’s devastating. You swore it would never happen again and it did. How did you even let this happen? There were two of you and your one job should have been keeping a lookout. You both knew Deathstroke was out there because of Rose and yet, you were focused on Jason beating a fucking lightbulb. The throbbing kicked it because it always fucking does but you didn’t move fast enough. You’re not fucking good enough even with powers to save you and Jason. You can’t even free yourself, Jason is the one cutting you down and grabbing you to make sure you can walk.

“Can you walk?” Jason asks, his voice isn’t flat but it’s like he’s trying to hold it together.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You nod at him and Jason grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly as he leads you both to the stairs.

But, when you get there, Deathstroke meets you right at the top holding out a sword an inch from Jason’s face. Jason gulps and you want to scream out of pure frustration. Jason holds his arm out in front of you, not even thinking about it.

“Leaving so soon.” Deathstroke taunts.

Deathstroke takes a step forward making Jason step back, protecting you with his arm. The two of you back off the stairs carefully, Deathstroke not moving the sword. There are two of you and two against one is better odds. But, this is Deathstroke. He gave all of the Titans a run for their money and killed one of them. How are you and Jason supposed to escape this guy? You and Jason are confident, absolutely, but you are not stupid.

Dr. Light walks over, finally coming to. He is pissed. He walks right over to Jason, Jason pushing you back a bit more and more behind him, blocking you with his entire body. Dr. Light takes a swing at Jason, getting him in the face and that’s the straw that breaks you. Your hands glow more than they ever have before, your hands feeling like they’re on fire. Jason tries to fight back but Dr. Light has him by the collar again and that’s it.

“Leave him the fuck alone, you environmental hazardous fuck!” You yell moving from behind Jason, eyes narrowed and teeth gritted with your hands right in front of you. The green illuminates Dr. Light and his eyes widen. He knew you had powers from the tunnel but it didn’t look to be that serious. He pauses and Jason is able to free himself. “Touch him and I’ll turn into a puddle.” You move in front of Jason this time.

“Try it, kid. See how far that gets you.” Dr. Light taunts and you know it’s a trap. But, you can’t see how.

If Deathstroke were going to kill either of you, he would have done it. He’s waiting for something. It’s not you or Jason fighting back, though, he would have killed Jason already. But, he’s not and he’s just standing there as if watching to see what happens. Dr. Light isn’t who either of you have to fear. So, you shoot acid at him anyway, intentionally missing most of him. The acid touches a part of his forearm and he lets out a scream of agony, the acid melting some of his skin. Dr. Light charges you but you already had your arm out towards Jason and you move yourselves just as Dr. Light tries to grab you.

“Too slow.” You taunt and Jason can’t help but crack a smile from behind you.

“What? A little acid too much for ya, huh?” Jason taunts back, yours and Jason’s attention focused on Dr. Light but your attention becomes split between Dr. Light and Deathstroke as Deathstroke walks behind you. Your head is throbbing, following the direction of Deathstroke until it falls short. Nothing. And then you know.

“Don’t fucking touch him.” You spin around, facing Deathstroke as he’s pulling up his sword standing right behind Jason.

Jason pauses, unsure if he should move and instead, he looks to you. How the fuck did you know that? The combat clairvoyance only works for you so how would you know he was going after Jason? You glare at him, your jaw squared as your hands are pointed at him but Deathstroke isn’t scared of you or threatened. While he finds this interaction at least interesting, he isn’t bothered. He doesn’t care. He pulls his sword up and holds it against Jason’s back. Jason arches his back as he feels the blade touch him, but not penetrate.

“You will stop or I’ll kill him.” Deathstroke says, keeping his voice flat and unbothered.

You look to Jason and you knew this wouldn’t go well. You knew you didn’t stand a chance against him but you both tried. You lower your hands and Dr. Light grabs you. You don’t fight him and Jason hangs his head, the guilt seeping into his blood. But, neither of you have much time to even think about it before Deathstroke knocks Jason out and Dr. Light takes a few good swings at you before you’re knocked out again.

Gar rushes back to the tower and goes straight to Rachel’s room. He knows he needs to tell Dick but Dick is busy with other Titans and he’s freaking out. He knows Dick is gonna be pissed and he just needs to tell someone that isn’t Dick right now. Rachel will know how to help, if she can. Rachel is logical like Gar. She’ll help. But, when Gar enters her room, she’s asleep and this thick, gelatin like smoke is surrounding her just like in the training room when she attacked Jason. Gar sticks his hands out, trying to see if he can stop it or wake up Rachel. But, it attacks him instead, clawing right as his wrist and impaling him. Gar yells, jumping back and waking up Rachel.

“What? I’m up.” Rachel shoots up, looking at Gar who’s visibly scared and in pain. “Gar? What happened?” She asks as Gar stands back, holding his wrist. “Shit.” Rachel sighs, quickly getting up from the bed to check on him. “I’m so sorry.” Rachel’s words are rushed as she tries to see the damage to Gar’s wrist. “Please, don’t tell Dick.” Rachel begs.

“Y/n and Jason…” Gar pauses, the words bitter and sour in his throat. “They’re gone.” He chokes out.

“What?” Rachel searches his face, confused. You all were in the tower when she fell asleep, how are you both…gone?

“What happened to Y/n and Jason?” Dick’s voice asks from the door, overhearing Gar. He doesn’t even look mad, he just looks scared.

Gar lets out a shameful sigh, looking to ground. “Dr. Light has them.” Gar says quietly, barely looking at Dick.

“What?” Now Dick is mad. “What do you mean, Gar?” Dick almost demands the answer but Gar is visibly upset and his head is hung. “Okay, come with me, now.” Dick’s jaw clenches and Gar follows him to the comms lab. The walk there is silent and he hates being in trouble. “Explain, now.” Dick says as he sits at the computer, pulling up Jason’s tracking information to try and locate him.

Gar starts pacing behind Dick. “We…we figured out that Dr. Light was in the train tunnels.” Gar keeps his hands in his pockets as he walks. “Jason wanted to prove to you that he wasn’t a reject. And y/n…well, Jason went with her to fight Jerry so she felt she had to go with Jason. I think she wanted to prove to you that she was useful.” Gar explains, his voice unwavering in shame and guilt. “We were gonna come right back. And then Jason wanted to split up.” Gar stops pacing, standing behind Dick. “Y/n said she would go with him to make sure he was safe and he didn’t do anything stupid because we both have powers and Jason doesn’t. And then…I-I heard them scream.” Gar’s voice cracks, hearing the two of you echo in his head. “And I ran but they were already gone.”

“Why did you go out there in the first place?” Dick says through gritted teeth, nearly cutting Gar off. He is fuming. “On your own, with no weapons, no backup?”

Dick fully expects this from Jason and you. It's part of why Jason was even sent to Dick. He's too reckless, doesn't put any thought into anything, he's a little violent. Bruce hoped some time with Dick would help but clearly, nothing is getting through to him. As for you, you did already go off on your own, Jason in tow to do what you were told not to do. Jason bringing up this idea, of course, you would go with him. The two of you together doesn't seem like it's the best for anyone. Now, Dick has to rescue the both of you while Deathstroke is out there. It was stupid and you both should known better and Gar should have known better and expected this to happen.

Gar feels bad enough and Dick is making him feel worse. It’s kind of his fault. He should have just called Dick. He should have known with the two of you. Gar knows you and Jason better than anyone else in the tower. He gets you and you both tell him things. And he sees how you both are. You are the same side of the same coin. You’re reckless and eager to prove yourselves. Jason just has so much to prove and you’re new. You think a little more about the consequences of everything and maybe that’s why Gar didn’t think this would end poorly because you’re supposed to be the responsible one out of you and Jason. But, Gar is supposed to be the responsible one of all of three of you and he’s just let you both down.

“I’m sorry.” Gar apologizes, the guilt still slithered in his words.

“I just need details.” Dick says. “Specifics. Just write down everything you remember.” Dick says as he hands Gar a notepad. “I’m searching for Jason’s tracker right now.” Dick has a suspicion there’s more going on because how could Dr. Light have captured the both of you? Reckless sure, but there’s not a doubt in Dick’s mind that the two of you wouldn’t have put up a hell of a fight against him.

“Subject offline.” The computer says once it’s finished loading.

Dick closes his eyes and Gar gets an idea.

“IF-if-if Jason and Y/n are still down there, all-all that concrete and stone it-it, it would mask the GPS signal from the satellite.” Gar offers, hoping he's right. He can't think about Jason's tracker being offline for any other reason. It's too grave.

“Yes…it would.” Dick says as if he has an idea.

When Jason comes to, he’s blindfolded, tied to a chair, and his ears are covered with, what he assumed to be, noise-cancelling headphones. He can’t hear anything or see anything. He can’t move. He’s just trapped and his mind starts to race. It goes against everything he’s been taught by Bruce. He’s supposed to remain calm but how is he supposed to be calm when he can’t see or hear anything and doesn’t know if you’re here with him? He doesn’t know if they took you somewhere else. He doesn’t know if they killed you. He knows absolutely fucking nothing and it’s driving him insane. If it were just him, he’d be able to be calm and start thinking of his next way to escape. He’d figure something out because he’s clever but he’s not sure how he can escape and get you without getting caught again and he won’t leave you here.

You come to not long after and the throbbing of your head is worse this time. You’re certain you have a concussion and would really appreciate it if these grown men stopped using force. But, you’re tied to a chair, just like Jason with a blindfold covering your eyes and noise-canceling headphones covering your ears. You can feel that your hands are tied awkwardly. Your wrists are in agony, feeling like they might break if you move the wrong way. Your palms are facing up and outward from the back of the chair, the rope digging into your skin.

A lump forms in your throat because you’re back in a fucking basement and tied up. How fucking unfair is that? TWICE. TWICE. How does this happen twice? And now you’re here with Jason and this is your fault because you should have called Dick. You should have reacted quicker. You should have yelled for him. Done fucking something. You should have been faster, should have just shot Dr. Light with the acid and called it a fucking day. But, you didn’t. Because it was Jason’s mission and you wanted him to have this win. And then you fucking froze.

Not long after coming to, Jason feels something near his face and then it’s gone. He twitches in his seat, unsure of what’s going on. His heart rate spikes slightly as he waits. Deathstroke has a plan and the plan can’t be to randomly kill him now. Him and you are being used as bait. And he repeats that, over and over to try and calm himself down. If you’re bait, you won’t be killed right now. But, the thought flees his mind as he feels a stabbing and agonizing pain in his leg. Jason screams out.

“FUCK.” He bends his back forward and then back.

His legs is being carved into. The knife digs through skin and muscle as tears sting Jason’s eyes. And just when the knife stops the carving, he feel fingers in the wound and he flinches his leg, trying to get away but he’s legs are bound to the legs of the chair. He’s guessing it’s Deathstroke digging the tracker. The thing he felt near his face was likely some sort of device to detect a tracker and now he’s paying for it.

His stomach twists, nausea filling him as his mouth waters. He swears he’s going to lose it when the fingers are finally pulled away from the wound. Jason is left with the open cut on his leg, it pulsates with every passing second and he’s begging to pass out again just so he doesn’t have to feel it. Right about now, he’s starting to think Dick just might have had the right idea about taking the tracker out.

And a part of him, somehow, is so relieved that you don’t have a tracker. He wore the tracker as some sort of badge of honor. It meant that Bruce, fucking Batman, would be able to always find him. He was worth finding. Jason Todd was worth saving. And he liked that feeling but you never had one because Dick doesn’t like them and you weren’t picked up by Bruce. And he’s so happy about that because if you were, you’d be in the same pain he’s in right now and he never wants you to be in pain again. And the thought of this being his fault comes back to him.

This is his fault. This was his big idea to go rogue and prove himself. Dr. Light was easy and maybe that should have been the red flag but he was too arrogant to even think of that. He was on his little high horse about getting one over on Dick, taking down Dr. Light. It was accelerating. But, he never thought you would follow him. He never thought Deathstroke would be there. He never thought he’d be kidnapped with you. None of this he accounted for. It never even crossed his mind because he never thought of the consequences that could come from this. And that’s on him now. He should have been more careful. He should have listened to Gar. And maybe a part of him wishes he would have listened to Dick.

An hour goes by, and you and Jason have been trapped in complete darkness and silence. It’s a bit boring and concerning. All you want to do is go the fuck home, wake up from this nightmare. You want to hear Jason make some sort of fucked up joke about the situation that you’ll find tasteless and funny. And you want to see Gar’s smile that brings you so much happiness. You want to be in the safety of either of their rooms. Anywhere but fucking hear.

And Jason’s leg is still throbbing. It’s not pulsating anymore which is nice but it’s still throbbing and it’s exhausting. Being in pain, is absolutely exhausting. And he doesn’t know how much blood he’s lost but he’s guessing it’s probably enough to be a slight concern. And the only thing he wants to do, is get the fuck out of here. Then, apologize to you every single day he’s alive after this. He’ll never live it down. It’ll eat him alive and he knows it. If he doesn’t get you both out of here, that’s on him. This was his thing, his responsibility. He’s Robin, for fuck’s sake. How can he be Robin if he can’t even protect the one fucking person who he genuinely and truly and whole-heartedly cares about? The one person who doesn’t care about him being damaged goods?

But, the two of you are ripped from your thoughts as Deathstroke yanks your headphones off your heads, Jason’s first then yours.

“You mean your little sidekicks?” Deathstroke asks and you wonder who the fuck he’s talking to. Jason doesn’t miss a beat though.

“Hey! Who you calling a sidekick, asshole?” Jason yells and you can’t help but crack the faintest smile. He’s alive and still definitely kicking.

You’re honestly just glad to hear him. You aren’t really sure how he does it. You assumes he’s under the same treatment you’ve been getting which is silence and darkness. It’s kind of driving you insane and you’ve been kidnapped by a raging homicidal maniac. But, Jason has so much fire in him and you don’t get it. Of course, you’ve been through this before and you weren’t pleasant the first few months but you weren’t like Jason. Jason will fight against anything and everything and you’re beginning to think Jason is the reason parents tell their kids a kidnapper would bring that for being annoying. Dr. Light probably would have tossed Jason to the street if it were up to him. But, then you hear what you assume to be a fist connect with Jason’s face and Jason yells out.

“Hey! Shitface! Leave him the fuck alone!” You scream out and you don’t even know why you do it. You’re tied to a fucking chair. And that proved to be a mistake because Deathstroke decides to take a turn at you, punching you in the face.

Jason’s heart shatters. It immediately consumed him. He hears you gasping and groaning and he wants nothing more than to kill this fucker. He knows you’re trying to help, trying to get Deathstroke to leave him alone but a part of Jason thinks he deserves this. He thinks maybe he deserves the beatings to teach him some kind of lesson because if it weren’t for him, you would be safe at the tower right now. Not, kidnapped and being beaten…again.

“Yeah? You like picking on girls? Fuck, man, get a better fucking hobby. How’s knitting? Maybe it’ll calm you down? Or, trying getting laid.” Jason snarls, the taste of iron on his tongue. "Release some of that pent-up tension."

Deathstroke goes back to Jason and starts punching him in the stomach then in the face and then back to his stomach. Jason groans and yells out in pain. And just for good measure, he moves back to you for a final punch to you stomach as you groan out in pain.

“You fucking bastard!” You can hear Hank yelling and that’s when you realize it’s a phone call. “Come try that shit with me!”

“Just tell us what you want.” Dick states from the other end.

You hear Jason struggle for a breath and your eyes dart behind the blindfold. Your heart plummets into your stomach. Is Deathstroke strangling him?

“As I was saying,” Deathstroke starts, the slightest annoyance in his voice. “If you want them back, hand over Rose.”

Jason struggles more and more to breathe and you’re filled of panic. You aren’t sure how much fight you have left in you and you know the only reason both of you are even still alive right now is because Rose is safe at the tower. If she wasn’t, Deathstroke would have killed at least one of you and then been forced to kill the other. Neither of you would go down without a fight, especially with the other knocking on death’s door. But, you also know Dick won’t give up Rose and you’re panicking because what if he doesn’t? Deathstroke will kill you both.

“How do we know you’re gonna keep your promise?” Dick asks.

Jason gasps and coughs beside you, and you almost breathe a sigh of relief knowing that he’s actually still breathing. Not well, but breathing.

“Tonight, 3am. Embarcadero Plaza. Outside, use this phone to confirm.” Deathstroke says before hanging up the phone.

He puts your headphones back on and your heart breaks for the boy beside you. A part of you blame him, blames Gar. It was Jason’s idiotic, impulsive idea. He never thinks anything through and you’re so fucking mad at him. But, you didn’t put up a fight against it because as much as you love picking on him, you want him to feel wanted and worthy and loved. You know he thinks this, had it gone well, would have been his thing. This would have been Jason’s big win for the older Titans. And you wanted that so fucking bad for him that you can’t say no. And you owed him one because he’s the only one that fucking gets it. So, you blames Gar.

Gar is the logical one, the one who thinks things through. He’s the one that listens. When you and Jason are going behind Dick’s back doing something he absolutely told you not to do, Gar is doing what he’s asked or not getting involved and just not ratting you out. He doesn’t argue with Dick or fight with Rachel. That’s all you and Jason. He’s the level-headed one. And he should have known better, too. He should have known better with you and Jason being together because surely, the only thing that comes out of the two of you teaming up is utter chaos. But you know it’s wrong to blame him, too.

You have powers and training. You can produce deadly acid at the drop of a hat and your control over it is a win. You don’t miss targets with knives anymore, it all came back to you within a few weeks. You’re better now than you ever were in Gotham because Jason helped train you with those, too. But, you could have tried to shoot Deathstroke from behind you with the acid. And you had something to prove tonight, too. Maybe you didn’t want it as bad as Jason, but if this had gone how it should have, it would have been enough for you, too. You would have been able to prove you’re useful, that you can do more than sit around a tower and train. You could have done a lot of things to prevent this. Instead, you froze and Titans aren’t supposed to freeze. How can you call yourself a Titan if you freeze? This is your fault.

At some point, Deathstroke finds it in himself to remove yours and Jason’s blindfolds and headphones. The first thing Jason does is look to you but you avoid looking at him, keeping your stare at your lap. You know that if you look over, he’ll have a fat lip, blood probably on his face. Maybe he’ll have a black eye and it’ll eat you alive because his injuries are on you. If anyone could talk Jason out of this stupid, deluded idea, it would have been you. And you didn’t even try to stop him. And Jason’s heart sinks further into the pit of his stomach with you unable to look at him.

He looks away and he knows this is his fault but it hurts anyway because of all people, he expected you to make sure he was okay. To look at him and yell at him for this stupid idea but you’re quiet and looking to your lap. Your face looks defeated and there’s blood around your mouth.  Your injuries are his fault this time. You just fully healed not that long ago and now you’re back to being beaten and bloody and bruised and Jason never should have dragged you into this.

He should have insisted you turn around and go back with Gar. That would have been the right thing to do but he was selfish because he likes you. And that’s the first time he’s actually really thinking that but he knows that’s the reason. He likes you and he likes when you fight, he likes when you spar and he likes this look you give him when you watch him spar. It’s such an ego boost and if anyone would cheer him on fighting some psycho like Dr. Light, it’d be you. And Jason should have thought about what was best for you, not what he wanted. How are you ever going to forgive him for this?

“Y/n?” Jason says your name once Deathstroke leaves you alone. But, you don’t even move. No glance, nothing. You’re silent. “Y/n?” Jason’s voice is a little louder this time, riddled in guilt.

Part of your silence is just anxiety. You’re wrapping yourself in spinning anxiety, trying to figure out what to do. You can’t escape, not right now. But, you’ll probably be moved to a new location. Deathstroke hasn’t killed you now. If the plan was to use you as bait, it worked. The older Titans know you’re alive and kicking so Deathstroke could kill you now. Titans have the security that you’re alive. But, Deathstroke keeps you alive and you think it’s because he has something else planned. A guy like Deathstroke isn’t going to just give you up if Dick actually hands over Rose which you know Dick won’t do. So, you’re stuck worrying about that and you’re also just so fucking tired.

No one told you life could be so fucking exhausting. Your mom dies, you’re tortured, you get these powers you don’t even like, and now you’ve been kidnapped again. Seriously, you’re stuck on the fact this has happened twice and you want to know what kind of unlucky person actually gets kidnapped twice, in under two years. Why is it so much to ask to feel safe?

“Can you fucking look at me or something?” The frustration breaks Jason’s voice. You listen to him and Jason gets a better look at your face and he swears he’ll never forgive himself for it. And you think the same. Sure enough, he has a fat lip with blood around the corner and there’s a bruise starting on his cheek. “I’m so sorry.” Jason apologized. “I-I should have fucking listened to Gar.”

You shake your head and you won’t let him do this to himself. “Not your fault, Jay.”

“The fuck it is!” Jason nearly whines it out. “This was my idea!”

“Yeah, I know.” You scoff, shaking your head but your voice is flat. “And I didn’t stop you like you didn’t with me. I didn’t even put up a fight. So, it’s not your fucking fault, alright?” You look away, hanging your head slightly.

“I’m gonna get us out here, alright? I swear, I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” You snap, your attention is back at him and there’s venom in your voice. “What? You gonna kill him? Yeah, okay and look where that’s gotten us, Jay. Have ya noticed that Dr. Light isn’t around? You heard him lately? See him anywhere? Why the fuck do you think that is?” You ramble off and you’re just so mad at yourself over this, you don’t know how to handle it and you feel so much guilt it’s like it’s squeezing the breath out of your lungs.

“I’m sorry.” Jason doesn’t have any remark back, he’s just sorry.

You look back at him, tears welling behind your eyes as you swallow a lump. You open your mouth to say something but then stop yourself for just a second. “I’m sorry, I’m just….I’m fucking tired, Jay.” Your voice breaks.

“You giving up?” Jason asks, his voice like glass.

He didn’t think you knew how to give up. You got a guy to beat you an inch from your life to escape. You’ve been experimented on and tortured. You were thrown into this whole new environment. You’ve been through hell and back more than once. Jason just thought you didn’t know what quitting even was but he can see the tears in your eyes that you’re done. You don’t have anything left in you anymore. It’s broken you and that is something Jason will have to live with for the rest of your lives. 

“If he was going to kill us, he would have done it when he got off the phone with Dick. He’s planning something but my head fucking hurts and I’m tired and I don’t know what it is. I’m just…I’m just tired.” You let out a sigh.

“Well…you can’t give up, Y/n.” Jason states as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. “You fucking can’t, I won’t let you.” Jason boasts his chest, you quirking a brow at him. And hey, if one thing gets you going, it’s Jason being a flirty smartass and if you’re going to get the fuck out of here, he needs to give you a little bit of fight. “Don’t you wanna get the fuck outta here so you can…jump Gar or something? Have one of those shitty-ass cheesy reunions like in those movies you like so much?”

You shake your head once in either direction, as if processing the question. “What?” Your voice breaks as you nearly start laughing. What the fuck is he doing?

Jason gets that grin you like so much. “Ya know, isn’t there one in like the Notebook or some shit? They meet again and have this barf-worthy reunion? Don’t you want that with Gar?”

“Are you trying to distract me from being in here, right now?” You blink at him.

“Is it working?” Jason chuckles softly at you.

“No, because that’s stupid.” You can’t help but laugh.

“It’s your fucking thing!” Jason defends his stance and he feels a little bit better because you’re laughing.

“I don’t daydream about it!”

“It might help, you’re a bit uptight sometimes.” Jason offers with that infamous cocky smirk of his.

Your eyes widen, mouth ajar as you blink at him a few times. “Me?!” You laugh and Jason sees the light back in your eyes. “Dude, you’re a bit uptight! Maybe you're the one that needs to get laid!”

Jason bursts into a fit of laughter. “I’ve been trying!” The comment leaves his mouth without him even thinking about it.

"Not hard enough, evidently." You continue to laugh with him and you aren't sure what he meant by the comment so you play along. It is making you feel better anyway and it's a good distraction. "Maybe you'll get lucky if you survive this."

"That an offer, babe?" Jason quips right back.

"Oh, you fucking wish, Birdboy." You chuckle with the roll of your eye.

"Yeah, I do. The fuck you gonna do about it then?" Jason strikes back and this is different than the other banter you normally get into. Jason doesn't normally admit to it. He dodges it, he dodges it better than you but dodges it nonetheless. This is new.

"Fuck you." You let out a sheepish laugh because you can't believe he didn't respond the way he normally does. You have a lot of things you'd rather say than telling him to fuck off but none of them seem right, especially right now. They all just seem like bad ideas. Distractions.

"See, you avoided it again." Jason holds a triumphant smile because no matter exactly what he's thinking about everything, he was just trying to get you to talk to him and cheer you up a bit. It worked. It doesn't matter if his comments were serious or not.

"One day, I'll be the one who's gonna commit to your little game and then you're not gonna know what to do." You fire back with a shy smile. "And I'll win."

"Yeah? Cause that still sounds like I'd win in that scenario." Jason grins at you, wiggling his grows while you laugh. He's so enduringly obnoxious. You adore him for it, too. Maybe one day, if you both survive this, you'll actually commit to it all. Maybe.

“Thanks.” Your laughing subsides as you offer Jason a cornered smile.

“Look,” Jason lets out a sigh. “Jokes fucking aside and shit, you know, I never wanted you to get hurt.”

“I know.” You nod your head. “I never wanted you to get hurt either.” You let out a breath.

You take a good look at him now, realizing that you’ll have to eventually and decide to get to it over with. There’s a part of you that fears whatever Deathstroke has planned isn’t going to be something so easily escapable. It’s probably something big, something to make some sort of point to Dick and the other Titans. You’re already pretty pessimistic and this is adding onto that. A part of you really thinks this might be it and maybe it’ll be the last time you get to see and talk with Jason. It nearly brings you to tears, the very thought of it is enough to destroy you. You’d be devastated if he died.

“Did he do that to you?!” You raise your voice as you can see the blood on his thigh, part of his suit cut open.

Jason moves his leg, as if to try and hide it like he isn’t tied down to the chair. “Yeah, bastard cut out my tracker.”

Your face drops and nausea fillsyouer stomach. “I’m so sorry, Jay. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jason brushes it off, pretending like his leg isn’t in excruciating pain. “All good, barely even feel it now.”

“Ya know, I’m like…the one person you don’t have to bullshit, right?” You ask, knowing damn well he’s lying. If it didn’t hurt, he wouldn’t have tried to move it away.

“I’m not.” Jason scoffs.

“If you’re in pain, that’s okay. I’m in pain, for the record.”

Jason hangs his head slightly before looking to you. “Yeah, it fucking hurts.”

You shake your head. “Jason, I’m….I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, it’s not your fucking fault, alright?” Jason grits his teeth. “I got us into it.” You watch Jason’s face fall as he scoffs to himself. He’s not being so witty right now, he didn’t fight you on bullshitting you. You’re worried.

“I just…I don't wanna die, ya know?” You lets out this ragged laugh. “I’ve been through so much.” Your eyes water again. “And I made it out of those things and I thought….ya know? I’d be happy and now we’re here.” You shake your head. “I don’t wanna die.”

“You’re not gonna fucking die.” Jason urges. “I don’t fucking care what I have to do, that fuck isn’t gonna kill you.” Jason’s eyes scan over your face.

“I don’t want you to die either.” Your voice is broken and soft. You suck in a breath, looking at him for maybe a second too long before looking away. "I just can't lose you."

Jason scoffs. “Dickweed can’t kill me. I’m not scared of him.” He's terrified of losing you, too. But, he can't bring himself to say it. It doesn't matter how, but he won't let you die. It's not gonna happen, one way or another, he won't let it happen. So he bites the comment back.

“Right,” You roll your eyes. “Well, I’m scared of him. Dude is fucking scary. And I’m scared he’s gonna kill you. I can’t…” You pause. “I can’t lose you, Jay.”

“You won’t.” Jason states, his voice low. “I’ll get us both out of here, alright?”

Jason is actually afraid of this whole situation. He’s hurt, his ear is bleeding and his hearing is still muffled. Deathstroke doesn’t care, he’d beat the both of you just because he could. Jason’s throat is sore from being choked. He’s tired. You look physically and mentally exhausted. It’s rough. This is the hardest night of his life and he has no idea how he’s supposed to get either of you out of here but he swears he’ll do it. He has to. He owes it to you.

He owes you for caring about him when he breathes pain into the very air you breathe. He owes it to you for giving him a chance. Jason doesn’t think you will be so forgiving when you make it out of this, and he doesn’t think he deserves to be forgiven. But, even if you never talk to him again for getting you kidnapped and beaten again, it’ll be worth it. If Jason is to save one person, it has to be you.

Jason loves to deny his feelings until he’s certain he’s safe with someone. Feelings are scary because they’re real. Once he says how he feels about something, it gets taken away. In one way or another, it gets ripped from him and torn to shreds. It’s like he’s this disease that spreads to everything good even when he really tries not to let it happen. Everything he touches turns into a fucked up mess. And saying how he feels, that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. But, he really cares about you more than he’s ever cared about anyone in that way. You just make him happy and he can’t let anything else happen to you. He’s let you down already and he needs to get you the fuck out of here.

Your eyes go distant again as you let out a breath so Jason keeps the conversation going. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Go for it.” You look over to him.

“How’d you know he was gonna go for me and not you? Your combat shit only works for you.” Jason’s eyes are slightly narrowed.

You shrug a shoulder. “Well, that’s the kind of the point.” You clear your throat. “Throbbing started, then it came to a dead stop and Deathstroke wasn’t gonna not do anything. So, it would have been you.”

“So, because the throbbing stopped, you knew he’d come for me?”

Jason’s never really felt completely protected before. Even with Bruce. At first, Jason didn’t trust Bruce because he was new, just some guy. It was all a little weird but then Bruce trusted him enough to ask him to be Robin. That changed things a little. He got the be the boy wonder and in a way, he felt protected because Gotham’s very own Batman was looking out for him and gave him these trackers to make sure he could always be found. But, with that also came being directly thrown into the line of fire. Jason loves it, wouldn’t trade it for the entire world. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, but he is in the line of a fire a lot. You knowing your combat clairvoyance enough to know it meant Deathstroke would go for Jason, it makes him feel completely protected.

“Pretty much, would have looked really dumb if I were wrong.” You laugh softly. “Guess, uh, it can protect more than me, sometimes, right?” Jason gains a cheeky smile with your words.

Before Jason can say anything though, Deathstroke reappears with a large bowl filled with water and his sword. Jason pushes away his thoughts about you, focusing his head on Deathstroke. He’s just going to try to annoy him. It is his best quality.

“You really are a pathetic piece of shit, you know that?” Jason snarks and you roll your eyes. “Rose deserves better than you for a father.” The comment makes you look back at him, a bit surprised by the remark. Ballsy. “Some freak in a ski mask whose name sounds like a bad case of VD.” Deathstroke completely ignores him and at least the guy has that going for him. “My friends will never give her up. You know that.”

You wonder how Jason can just talk and talk and talk. He never gets tired, he never has a sore throat. That boy could actually talk someone’s ear off. You just don’t get how he does it and how he is so unwavering. You know he’s freaked out, maybe he isn’t scared, but the whole thing has definitely got him on edge. But, no one would ever know that if they didn’t know him. You think even Gar wouldn’t notice and Gar notices a lot more than other people. Jason hides it so well and you admire him for it. Maybe, not trying to piss off Deathstroke of all people, but admirable in most situations.

“Well, then, you’re both the price they pay.” Deathstroke says in his standard calm tone, picking up his sword from the table.

If you could, you’d bang your head against a wall because you didn’t even do anything. You’re not even saying anything. How is this right? Eye for an eye? HOW?

“Fuck you, you pretentious asshole. Hey, look at me,” Jason demands and Deathstroke does as he says. “I’m not scared of you.” Jason taunts and if you could slap him upside the head, you would. Deathstroke should untie you just to let you do it. Why does Jason have to taunt your captor? Deathstroke, of all people. There is death right in his name.

“You should be terrified.” Deathstroke warns. “But instead, you’ve been played by that charlatan, Dick Grayson who gives costumes to foolish kids making them believe that they’re heroes, leading you like lambs to slaughter. But, not to worry, soon, you’ll learn. For death leads to purification.” Deathstroke says while sharpening his sword.

This isn’t good for either of you. Deathstroke really is going to kill the both of you over some fight with Dick. You can’t quite figure out how that all adds up. It’s something you never understood in movies or tv shows. Going after kids because some dude is mad at the parent or mentor. What is the point? But, you’ve been through this before.

Jerry had issues with Batman once upon a time which prompted the experiments. You’ve been through this. Life or death. Do or die. You want to give up because this life is exhausting but you can’t because Jason fucking Todd is next to you bleeding and in pain and as long as you’re alive, you’ll protect him against everything in your power. You’ll fight for him because he does for you. You’ll do everything to make sure he’s okay because as far as you’re concerned, Jason Todd deserves a break and to know that he’s fucking cared about by someone. In spite of any fuck up he might do.

A few hours go by, Jason and you not making much conversation with Deathstroke still around. You both thought Deathstroke might go find something to do and you could talk, but instead, Deathstroke walks towards you and unties Jason first, holding a sword to your throat. You eye him with annoyance as Jason stands up, his legs feeling a bit weak. The wound in his leg is much worse than he originally thought. It is agonizing trying to put weight on it but he looks at you with the blade to your neck and acts like he doesn’t want to burst into a screaming fit.

“Do something stupid, I will kill her here.” Deathstroke threatens and you roll your eyes. Jason nods his head, his expression clearly annoyed even through the mask. Deathstroke unties you with one hand and moves the sword just enough for you to get to your feet. “Walk.” Deathstroke demands, pointing in the direction of the elevator.

Jason leads, followed by you, and then Deathstroke with the sword held against your back. Jason wants to fight it. He wants to spin around and throw one of the Robin blades at him but he doesn’t. He keeps a steady pace to the elevator because if he misses, he gets you. If he hits anything short of a kill shot, Deathstroke kills you. Deathstroke knew exactly how to control the both of you. Just threaten the other. You and Jason think you aren’t transparent but you are. It’s obvious that you care about each other, more than just teammates and anyone within a 10-mile radius can see that, including Deathstroke. It’s a cruel, cruel form of control but it’s effective and Deathstroke doesn’t fucking care how cruel it is. So, you walk peacefully to the elevator and get inside, Deathstroke holding the blade against you the entire ride to the top floor.

Once at the top floor, you all file out of the elevator and go up a set of stairs that lead to the roof. Panic starts to hit you as you walk up the stairs. You’re terrified of heights. Petrified and now you’re going onto a roof. You just look around because of fucking course you’re on top of a skyscraper as if the night couldn’t possibly get any worse. Does Deathstroke plan to push you both off? That seems a little too easy for him. But, you’re worried anyway. Why else would he bring you to a roof of a skyscraper?

Deathstroke walks you and Jason onto a window cage that window washers use. It’s easy for him because you won’t make any sudden moves, not with Jason’s life at risk and not with you being twenty stories in the air. And Jason won’t risk Deathstroke killing you. This is in Deathstroke's control and it’s terrifying. He ties you both tightly to one of the railings and your hands start to shake behind your back as Deathstroke walks off. He uses a control in his hand to lower the two of you down a few floors. Your eyes nearly bug out of your head as you watch Deathstroke disappear the further down he sends you.

You look to Jason, fear in your eyes and you never told him you were afraid of heights. Sure, the two of you talk about trauma in a nonchalant joking way but actual real-life fears? No. That is unknown territory to talk about with the two of you but he can tell with your wide eyes and rapid breathing that you’re terrified. He can visibly see your chest heaving and your teeth chattering.

“You’re afraid of heights, aren’t you?” He asks as the cage comes to a halt, still several stories up.

“Uh-huh.” You nod, swallowing thickly as your mouth starts to feel like cotton mouth. “I hate heights. I hate them. I don’t go on Ferris wheels because I’m terrified of being at the top. Like what if I get stuck there? Some Final Destination rollercoaster kind of shit. What if we fall? That sounds like a fucking terrible way to go out.” You start speaking a mile a minute, half of your words almost slurring together from the rapid speech and chattering of your teeth. “OR WORSE WHAT IF WE LIVE?!?!? DO YOU HOW BAD IT’S GONNA HURT IF THIS FUCKER DROPS US AND WE LIVE?” The panic spits out like venom.

Jason has no idea what to tell you. He could lie to you and tell you it’s all gonna be okay, he’ll figure something out. Dick will save you both but he doesn’t think that’ll happen. Deathstroke has seemed to have a pretty solid plan up until this point. And he knows Dick won’t give up Rose which he kind of admires if he wants to be honest. But, there are two of you and one of her. Sacrifice two people that he knows for one girl he’s known for a day? That’s a bit unfair. But, he needs to find a way to calm you down because you’re going to pass out if you don’t. And he cannot believe heights are going to be the thing that freaks you out the most. Not Deathstroke or being kidnapped again. Or Jerry or fighting Jerry. No, heights.

“Can you get your hands out?” Jason moves his eyes behind you and back to your face. You shake your head rapidly, making the dizziness worse. You swear you’re about to go into cardiac arrest.

“Can someone actually die from a panic attack? Like is that something that can happen? Because it really feels like I’m about to die because I think my heart rate is like 150 or something. I don’t know what to do. Jason, you need to figure something out because I am literally going to lose it and I’m gonna have a heart attack and–”

“Y/n!” Jason yells just to get your attention and stop your rambling. He knows you’re scared, though he can’t pinpoint what about heights has you more afraid than Deathstroke. “Look at me.” He sucks in a breath. Your eyes lock with his and it’s like a switch flips in him. “The fuck you so afraid of heights for? Scared a bird is gonna attack you or some shit?” He snaps, just trying to get you to fight back, hoping it’ll be enough to distract you. “That’s stupid fucking fear, you know that?”

Your brows furrow and normally you’d understand what he’s doing. But, your mind is so blacked out with panic, you can’t find the reason screaming at your face. Instead, your heart sinks, still beating a mile a minute and you don’t know why he’s being mean, now of all times.

“We could–”

“Die?!” Jason argues. “Yeah, been a fucking possibility all fucking night but you’re freaking out now? We can escape, he’s not fucking here. Calm the fuck down and use the acid shit to get us the out of here.” Jason scoffs, trying his best to seem annoyed with you.

Jason thinks if he can make you mad enough, maybe you can concentrate on anything besides the heights. Maybe you can get you both out of this. It’s not fair and it’s mean and he knows it. He’ll have to feel bad about it later but right now, he can’t. You panicking next to him isn’t going to do either of you any good. It’ll distract him, too and you can’t afford that. You talked about your do or die moment with Jerry, well this is a do or die moment with Deathstroke and he needs you to focus on that. If Deathstroke drops you, at least you both can say you tried in some sort of afterlife Jason thinks will resemble Hell.

“T-that’s not…that’s not fair.” You shake your head, unsure if you can focus enough to produce any acid. “Why are you being mean?” You scream at him as your voice breaks.

It hurts a lot more than you would like to admit. Jason can be mean, he’s an asshole and you can be mean right back because you’re the same sometimes. It’s how you both function but you swore you could count on Jason to be understanding in a situation like this. You can’t help that heights are your downfall. And of all people, based on everything that’s happened between the two of you, you thought he’d be understanding but he’s just berating you and it hurts.

“Because this is fucking stupid!” Jason groans and he feels really guilty about being mean but it seems to be working. “You’re a Titan for fuck’s sake, get a fucking grip. Do something about it!”

“You do something about it!” You scream back at him. “You’re fucking Robin, aren’t you? You fucking do something! This was your idea!” The second it leaves your mouth, you knew you went too far and it’s all a lie anyway. But, you’re pissed and you’re scared.

“I can’t.” Jason grits his teeth as he tugs his arms against the rope and in any normal circumstance, he’d be pissed about you calling him out about Robin and he’d never admit to not being able to do something. He struggles against the restraints. “You have those freak powers, I don’t! Do you not fucking see my hands also tied?”

“I can’t focus enough to do it!” You scream at him and you’re actually worried that maybe you won’t be able to use your powers just because you’re scared. Maybe there’s a line with it. Maybe if you’re too scared, it shuts down. Maybe it stops working, then what? You’re too distracted anyway.

“Bullshit! You have more control over those stupid powers than anyone!” Jason fires back at you. “How fucking useless are you that you can’t use the acid to melt through some fucking rope?” He scoffs and he knows he’ll pay for this later but you’re not focused on the height anymore. And maybe if you can free both of you, he could scale the building and find a way to get you down. He doubts you’d start scaling the building with him if he finds a way to do that but there should be a wench or something on top of the roof.

You let out a scoff and look away from him. You already felt useless. You know. But, hearing Jason confirm it is devastating. You hate, more than anything, feeling useless and weak and now you’re trapped here, at your most exposed feeling just that with the person you swore you could trust more than anyone. And it just fucking hurts.

You dodge his reflection in the window and if you weren’t tied up right now. If you were a worse person, you’d fire back and call him useless because he’s fucking ROBIN and you are still stuck here in the same position. But, then you bounce back to this being your fault and maybe that’s not fair to only blame Jason for being mad at you.

You swear you have to be cursed. Kidnapped twice? Tortured twice? On two different occasions? It’s gotta be some sort of curse and maybe had you stayed behind, Jason would have been fine. Maybe Gar would have insisted to follow Jason and they would have been fine. But, you didn’t. You went with and you’re both kidnapped and stuck fifteen stories in the air.

Jason knows he went a step too far. The useless comment was a risk but he was hoping you’d prove him wrong. That’s more of your style anyway, prove someone wrong out of spite alone. It’s one of the things he likes most about you but this is a very different situation. Jason knows you aren’t useless, you’re just scared. There’s no doubt in his mind that if he weren’t here, you would have put up a hell of a fight against Dr. Light and Deathstroke. The only reason you didn’t was to protect him and he couldn’t protect you. So, Jason needs to find a way to either get you to use the acid or find a way to get you both out here. He owes you that much.

As Jason struggles, the blinds covering the windows go up, making him freeze. There’s Dick looking at the two of you with panic in his wide eyes. Any hope you had of Dick saving you went out of the window with the look on his face. He’s in the building and you’re pretty sure there’s some type of explosive on the side of Jason, you could see it when you looked at him. Deathstroke has the detonator with him and all he has to do is push a button and there you both go. Falling to your deaths.

Jason starts fighting harder as if coming to the same conclusion as you. He yanks and tugs, nearly pulling his shoulder out of socket. Deathstroke tied the rope a bit better than Dr. Light did. But he’s going to fight until the very last second. And you’re about at the breaking point. Why does this happen to you? And the people you care about? What is so fucking bad about you that it has to happen? You’re so sick of it and you’re going to fucking lose it. So, you struggle, too, pulling just as hard as Jason and focusing on the useless comment because it was fucking mean. And you focus on both of you probably dying.

“Jay?” You ask, looking over at him as you tug the rope harder. “We’re gonna die, aren’t we?”

Jason pauses, looking to at you and there’s this darkness to your eyes, similar to what he saw at Jerry’s. “No.” He shakes his head, not even convincing himself. “No, Dick will figure it out.” He gains a little bit of hope with the look in your eye, maybe you have a plan. You’re at least fighting.

“He’s gonna blow the bomb and we’re gonna fall.” You state.

“Dick will get to it first.” Jason defends. Jason has his issues with Dick but he knows Dick won’t let either of you fall, not if he can stop it.

“And if he doesn’t?”

“He will.” Jason says and it’s almost a plea that leaves his lips before he starts fighting the restraint some more. You both see Dick try to make a move, Deathstroke moving in front of him with a gun pointed at him. “He will.” Jason repeats.

As Jason fights, keeping his head forward, you both spot Kory. You piece together that the woman must be Kory given the lifted look Jason gets and the fact she’s the only one you haven’t met yet. That’s when slight relief kicks in for you. Two against one is a lot better odds especially when one of them is fucking Kory. Kory is such a badass from what everyone has said about her, including Jason and it’s like Jason gains the same hope because he tugs even harder as a fight starts going down in front of you, a helicopter circling from above you.

As the fight continues in front of you, you and Jason make work on your restraints, you can feel your hands finally starting to warm up. This is why you don’t like this power. It’s unpredictable. You can warm your hands with it, use it without even a thought, but when you’re in a dire situation, it decides to not wanna work. It is literally like there’s a block around it when you’re panicked and that’s bullshit. But, you get why Jason was so mean. He knew before you did and that means a lot, even if it was hurtful.

You pause for a second, hoping that if you stand still and talk, maybe it’ll work quicker. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.” You state, keeping your head straight.

Jason pauses, looking to you with brows furrowed. “Don’t do that.” Jason scoffs before he continues tugging. It’s not your fault and he’ll go to his grave screaming it if he has to. “Not your fault.”

You nod. “I should have been able to though and I just… thought you should know that I’m sorry. And I care about you a lot.” You look at him, watching him struggle and it breaks your heart because he’s giving it all he has and you can tell by how he’s favoring his left leg that it hurts.

“This is on me, alright? My idea! My impulsive fucking plan! I’m sorry I dragged you into it.” Jason lets out a huff and he refuses to admit he couldn’t save you because there’s still time to be saved.

Dick rushes over to the window as Kory fights Deathstroke. “Hang in there.” He says before he starts hitting the glass.

Jason and you blink at him as if you were supposed to know what he had just said. You can only assume you were told to hang on or he’s coming to get you, something along those lines. Dick and Kory are putting up a hell of a fight and maybe they’ll win. Dick has been Robin for years and Kory, well, from what you’re told she blew up a hospital and from what you’re seeing, she’s fucking cool. So, you fight harder and you think about Jason reading to you and playing video games with Gar. And you choose to focus on those things and Jason telling you to put all your shit on him and Gar taking walks around the tower with you to make sure it’s safe. And your hands start burning.

Dick starts hitting the glass before Deathstroke throws something at Kory, the blue cylinders exploding as Kory uses fire against them. Dick looks over his shoulder, seeing Deathstroke walk over toward Kory. He has a choice to make and unfortunately, it’s not you and Jason right now. Kory is the priority because Deathstroke is a few feet away from killing her so he runs to her.

“Don’t tell anyone that I’m afraid of heights.” You warn him as acid drips from your hands and onto the restraints.

“Is that what you’re fucking concerned about?” Jason nearly laughs at your comment as you continue to tug, your arms and legs burning with every movement.

“HA!” You cheer, pulling your hands in front of yourself. “Yes.” You state looking at him, deliberately keeping your entire focus on him.

Jason lets out a relieved yell, a smile coming to his face. “Get me the fuck out of here!”

You move towards him and bend down. “I might burn--”

“Don’t care, do it!” Jason pulls the restraints taught, trying to give you room so hopefully you don’t burn him.

You’re able to free him and the two of you have a second of relief before you turn to face the building again. Inside, it looks like it’s getting messier. Deathstroke is putting up a really good fight against Dick and Kory. It’s actually completely insane to be watching right now. But Jason has an idea.

“Melt the glass of the window.” Jason nods his head towards the window.

Your eyes widen as you realize you’ll have to bend over the railing in order to do that. But you look back to Jason and he is unwavering. Maybe other people would think this whole night would mean you shouldn’t put your full trust into each other. You both got too caught up in everything to notice Deathstroke. You both didn’t think of backup and all of the bad shit that could happen. Both of you have failed to protect each other up until right now. But, for you, it proves you have every right to trust Jason because he fights like hell to keep you safe.

“I’ll hold onto you, you’ll be fine.” Jason assures you with a nod.

“If you drop me, I’ll come back from the fucking dead and murder you.” You blink at him and Jason chuckles to himself.

“Good luck with that, babe.”

You roll your eyes before walking over to the railing, taking a few seconds to let yourself panic about it. Your heart rate spikes but you lean over the railing anyway, Jason holding your hips so tight you swear it’ll leave bruises. Your hands press against the cool glass while your hands start to heat up once more. You keep your focus on melting the glass and Jason holding you. 

The window starts to crack beneath your palms and Jason gains a triumphant smile. He might have called you useless but he always believed in you. You’re bruised, broken, traumatized, and damaged, just like him and he gets up over and over and over again. You can do it, too and you do and he adores that part of you. Determined and resilient and he swears he’ll never let something like this happen to you ever again. But just a sense of relief fills your chests, a flashbang goes off inside the building, right in front of you.

The flash of the window shatters right from under you. You fall forward, Jason leaning back and holding onto you as tight as he possibly can while you scream. Your hands land on shards of glass sticking right up from the windowsill. Jason’s blinded for just a few seconds and when he gets a look inside the building, he spots Deathstroke off to the side with the detonator. His heart sinks and he knows. In a split second, Jason lets go of you right as Deathstroke presses the button.

Gar is watching from the living room at Titans Tower. He was holding his breath the entire time. He saw you free yourself and then free Jason. He had this sliver of hope because surely Jason had some type of repelling system with the Robin suit and you’d be home free but then you went for the window. And he saw the flowing of your hands against the window. Gar was so sure you and Jason would make it out. You were melting the window and you could escape that way but then, the glass shattered.

Gar watched you fall forward and Jason nearly fall backward holding his grip on you and Gar’s heart sunk. He heard Rachel gasp from behind him. No one in the living room even moved, not a centimeter. Everyone became frozen. Gar had hoped that you would pull yourself inside and then Jason but his hope fell short. The bomb goes off and Gar spins away from the TV because he can’t watch the two of you die. It feels like a bomb went off in his chest and he can’t breathe anymore. His feet are cemented to the floor and everything in him aches and screams, wishing it had been him. Wishing misery had been kinder to him and let this happen to him instead.

“Gar.” Rachel calls because her eyes are still glued to TV, she couldn’t bare to look away like a bad train wreck. And Gar stays silent. “Look.” Rachel’s voice is quiet.

You have your grip on the windowsill and everything in you cries, sobs. Every bone in your body is letting out a wail of unfiltered pain. You can’t feel Jason anymore. You don’t care that there’s glass sticking nearly all the way through your hands because you can’t feel him anymore and the bomb went off. Your arms are weak and your eyes hurt.

Dick slides over to the edge, spotting Jason and he lets out a breath. “Hold on.”

He looks to you before looking over the edge. His rationale isn’t solid. The smart thing to do would be to drag you in because you’re closer to Dick, but Jason is more at risk right now. You’re right there, he can grab you in an instant. You should be able to pull yourself up but Jason is a few feet below and he looks like he’s struggling. Dick has to save Jason. Jason grabs Dick’s hand.

“Don’t let go.” Dick’s words are breathy and you nearly choke because you know that means Jason hasn’t fallen to his death. Not yet. But, then you hear him scream and see Dick freeze from the corner of your eye.

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Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @thatfangirl42 // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555​

#gar logan #jason todd #gar logan x reader #garfield logan x reader #jason todd x reader #gar logan fanfic #gar logan fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #caving in

[meruz]

maybe a weird question, but does the show that your backgrounds appear in ever make you feel differently about your work? like as an artist im sure youre pretty much always proud of the finished product but if the show that uses them is one you dont like does it ever.. make you feel weird?? or is it still just like "hey, i did that!"

nah..Not any weirder than posting art in general feels LOL. the thing is, liking a tv show as entertainment is different from liking it as a workplace which is also different from liking it as idk… an art object to put in my portfolio. I’m not going to pretend there isn’t overlap there like if I had to kind of draw it out (in more ways than one haha)...

So theres a lot of push and pull between factors. Its VERY common for artists to have shows they enjoyed working on that they wouldn’t personally enjoy watching and vice versa. And for me personally? I’m a glass half full kind of guy so even amongst mixed feelings I tend to focus on the good parts and I've liked almost every show I've worked on, come out feeling pretty good about my work almost all the time. 

I’m lucky though. I’ve never had to stay at a job with truly heinous working conditions. I’ve always had the privilege of enough resources (savings, parents house to fall back on, etc) to quit and find something new which is something not all people have. 

And I guess I would feel weird/bad about my work if it turned out to be used for like… a horrendous hate crime or something? Like if god forbid I ended up somehow…presumably accidentally?? working on the 21st century’s version of Birth of a Nation???? But (knock on wood) I like to think the chances of that in animation are pretty slim LOL or at the very least I'd be able to see the red flags ahead of time and get out of there…. one of the good/lame things about mass media is that it’s supremely moderate like it can’t be transgressive or radical (on either end of the political spectrum) or else it risks losing profit. And on top of that, animation is one of the least spontaneous storytelling mediums. just by nature of how much coordination and planning that has to be done ahead of time for something as simple as moving a character across the screen. Backgrounds in particular are relatively middle-late in the animation pipeline. every show runs a little differently but normally by the time we're working on bgs the story, boards, and characters are like... 70-90% locked in? So it’s pretty rare to be working on a show only to later be surprised by whats on screen when it airs.

I do know that south park turns on a dime and makes episodes slapdash in like one week but uh I like to think they're the exception not the rule LOL. most western animation will take about a year per ep from outline to final export.

anyways thanks for sending a thoughtful ask as opposed to something patronizing or obnoxiously leading like "im so sorry you had to work on such a shitty show" which ive been getting a bit of lately.

#ask #blah blah blah blah

[not-souleaterpost]

Ever wished that a trailer DOES lie?

Didn't come up with some clever pun or whatever to express what I want so I'll put it bluntly: Does anyone agree that new Napoleon movie looks kinda lame from the trailers?

Like the first one was like the two types of cliche trailers one after the other - with all the "boom" sounds and mach cuts, while then doing the whole "eq-so-it-sounds-distant childlike song" thing. But what I found worse is turning Napoleon into Thanos (havent seen a Marvel movie after Iron Man 3, so I might be wrong) - but all the stoic cool guy one liners and weird self-agrandising cliche uterances - only to end with putting on the Crown on himself as if it was that stupid plastic gem-gauntlet... Should just have snapped and said "France Won" and go all the way while showing the Austo-Hungary disolve.

The second trailer seems to be more of the same, with even having the Black Sabbat song to make it artsy but not to artsy. Idk maybe I'm being to harsh and hypocritical, but aften then having the love interst say "look down at my crotch - I control you with it" - I just cant take it seriously - gives me flashbacks to being a kid and seeing my dad watch game of thrones and realises that half the charachters are screwing their sister and brothers cause thats the only way to make something "Mature"...

But why am I writting a whinning post? Don't I try to make some contrived point in these? Yeah, at first I didint even want to post this, so I dont be one of these cynical movie guys, feel bad for these who now seemingly in nearly their fifties just whine about how bad hollywood is and how superheros suck while only reviewing them while their is a great new Scorsesse movie which they ignore- And instead of continuing this passive agressive attack on RLM, I better segway into my whole point: "The Killers of the Flower Moon" - A movie I recently saw and enjoyed quite a lot - surprisingly because I thought from the trailers "Yeah, Scorsee got old and is phoning it in" - cause from the trailers it just seemed like a generic by the numbers exploitation film, where victims kill their oppressors with the whole "happy ending" being both overly sweet and bitter - because how unrealistic yet saddistic it would be, even as a fantasy only leaving the reality of resentment and bloody revenge.

But thankfully, it was nothing like that - so the trailer lied, and I was happy - or more happy that even when it lied I thought "well going to the cinema with friends is more important, and why not see a scorsse movie on the big screen, if he dies, or I, soon, I'll regret it, even if it was a piece of shit..."

So maybe that's the point I'm making - maybe a very weird and pointless one - but yeah, maybe Napoleon won't be as bad as I think? Even if it is a far-cry from the Napoleon Kubric would have made, Ridley Scott is still a director with a certain esteem, and who the hell didn't like Gladiator? Even still have an old VHS with a cutot of a tv-magazine of it that my father used to tape over to just pirate the movie old schoo way lol. Still, I'm not saying to mindlessly buy and watch everything - but to just think - maybe even a disapointing movie is worth the human connection one will make (cause who goes to the movies alone?) - so if somebody says "hey lets watch it, its like if the Joker was French" - why not, maybe even it will turn out to be:

#napoleon #ridley scott #napoleon 2023 #joaquin phoenix #killers of the flower moon #martin scorsese #trailer #unpopular opinion #marvel #pandering #also why I didnt watch Oppenheimer but I kinda got tired of Nolan movies in general think they are irnoically to childish past 16 #I remember as a kid finding RLM and thinking their movie review show was just some stop gap for some bigger thing to come #only for it to happen or be bad on purpose #idk think its a bad place to get stuck #not financially but you know what I mean #dont have your soul eaten

[makwandis]

Mmmmm my take on drawing/portraying America or Canada as racialized people is that well its all in good fun but like if you poke a little deeper at . That idea. It can be quite sinister. Like to speak from my own Lane™️ the idea of some ...native person representing Canada or America it's just like... talk about a fuckin apple. Lol. I understand why people do it especially other poc and especially other natives but like at the same time it does seem to me that it'd just be coming from a place that shows ya don't know much abt what's going on in the front lines and how many of our people reject that Canadian and American identity outright and have very little to do w it. I know people who's kids were born in land occupied by Canada who refuse to register them with birth certificates and stuff because they're so against being Canadian. I know a lot of people myself included who take offense to that word Canadian we aren't none of that we been around much longer than even the countries the people who created Canada come from.

I think a native Canada (n I speak on that bc that's more my experience than with usa but ik it's similar lol) would be a level of fuckin...white washing appleness that would just be bizarre. . Like how would this native Canada person just not go "Hey Mr prime minister go fuck yourself". How would this native Canada person call themselves that when Canada barely exists and couldn't exist without treaty. Like. It is weeeeeird. I get we want representation but how about scrap America scrap Canada they are lame anyways and just make amazing ocs.... or you can change the whole story snd that Matthew Williams fella could be native still and maybe the Canadians think he's Canada but he knows he isn't and is doing stuff to like....fuck over the country. Idk man.

Have fun but also don't tell me it's something well thought out bc I don't think it really is most of the time... I like seeing some good fan art but I rlly dl think a native so called "canada" or "america" would need one hell of a backstory for it to make...sense and not just be some weird shit ya know.

But yeah hetalia is white af the source material is all about these dumb white boys. I think we should just step away from it and make ocs ngl.

Don't take this harshly tho.... i don't mean to hate on anyone especially other natives end of the day I get it it's a comfort thing fuck it we aren't actually harming our people . Maybe we are letting non natives think the wrong stuff but they do that anyways lol . But the conversation is interesting

#hetalia discourse #that is my two cents #id like to talk to other natives abt it tho bc i do have more thoughts but like i dont think non native audience would get it at all haha

[play-rough]

I’m so happy you liked my Ranpo and Atsushi tangent— partially because I was doing an all nighter when I sent that in and started to question its coherence afterwards 🥲

I’m in two minds about The Pacifier Incident, because on one hand I imagine it being a silly little story the ADA laugh about in the future, talking about it like it’s a dreaded canon event- a ‘we don’t talk about Bruno’, if you will, and I desperately want it to be cute and lighthearted. But I have the feeling that it would in reality be an incredibly angsty moment that showed the true extent of how traumatised he really was, regarding his headspace. All I know for certain, is that the whole thing managed to happen in the 3 minutes Kunikida had left the room.

The other important part I’ve agonised over is dependant on whether or not Ranpo actually had mackerel’s paci to begin with. If he did, I see him marching over and pressing it into his mouth before Dazai has a moment to process. He kinda sits there in utter surprise for a good moment before he catches up and tries to remove it, which naturally devolves into a lot of bickering, whining and a VERY lame struggle between them.

If he doesn’t have it, Ranpo just comes up to his desk and starts rifling through in search of one. I imagine Dazai is still relatively new to the ADA and Ranpo’s demeanour doesn’t change much when he’s small so it’s not always clear at first glance to people that don’t know him all that well. Dazai’s caught off guard by the sudden invasion of his space and the affectionate but condescending remarks he receives about being ‘just a baby’ and how ‘he needs his paci -right now-’. This would probably be the more angsty option of the two, I think that Dazai would spend his ‘cool down’ time in the break room crying in frustration rather than pouting and raving about the disrespect. In both versions though Ranpo gets put in timeout (as the sweet but disrespectful little shi deserves 🤬) and Kunikida gives him a very firm talking to- mostly to explain that he’s not in trouble for looking after his brother, but for the way he disregarded what Dazai wanted and overwhelming him. Almost nothing is learned though 🧍and The Pacifier Incident will always be famous to the ADA.

I swear I tried not to write an essay this time 😔 hope you at least liked this add on 🥲

Is it ok if I claim an emoji sign off for any future headcanons? I’d quite like to be 🍓 or 🐝 if either are available?

I hope you are okay with being 🍓 anon because i just promised the bee to someone else 😭

I am always a fan of angst and I feel like it’s more realistic that Dazai would not have his paci nearby, and finding absolutely no little items in his desk would probably fuel Ranpo’s mission (I imagine Yosano keeps extra pacifiers in her office so he could always get one from there, but i think it’s more impactful for Ranpo to expect to find a paci in Dazai’s desk and then be upset when he doesn’t) and honestly I can see a lame struggle happening no matter what 😂 Ranpo can try to pull Dazai into the playpen instead, easy scenario for someone to fall over and start crying.

I also really like the angst of Dazai and Ranpo’s different views on headspace, Ranpo obviously doesn’t see being little as a bad thing and his way of referring to Dazai as a baby of course is intended to be all love, but Dazai just feels frustrated and embarrassed 🥺 it’s the kind of misunderstanding and feelings angst that I live for lol

#I’m chewing on this concept like a dog with a nice meaty bone #🍓 anon #💌

[metvmorqhoses]

Nononono waitttt what do you mean about Good Omens season 2?? Why didn't you like it?

I personally thought it was better than season 1 - better paced. There wasn't a single boring moment. And sure, the plot maybe had fewer stakes, but seeing as this was a bridge season between season 1 (the of Good Omens book) and hopefully season 3 (the book that never came out, “668” or something like that), I thought it was good. Warm & fuzzy.

I need to know your opinion now

As abashed as I am to have to respond to such enthusiasm with, well... the very opposite of enthusiasm, please at least know that I consider the truth the best thing I have to offer in general and in regard to that unfortunate (yet somehow still-untouchable?) mess the second season of Good Omens has proven itself to be in particular, so accept it as some sort of well-intended even if perhaps unwanted gift.

This is probably the most unpopular opinion one can have on Tumblr right now, so I'll go straight to the point: Gaiman managed to ruin Good Omens (perhaps he isn't able to write it by himself, perhaps he got carried away with fan service, who knows), once one of the most delightful, witty, engaging, profound books/shows existent, changing its register and raison d'être in order to turn it into, per great popular request, the same lame simple plotless cheesy cookie-cutter gay romance without rime and reason apparently every single piece of media is deforming itself into lately.

The dramatic loss of... artistic quality this show suffered is appalling and even more appalling is the fact I seem to be one of the very few on this green earth to have even noticed? Did I perhaps read too much in the show before? I don't think so, it was indeed a masterpiece. I saw many die-hard fans of the series beyond puzzled at this last season too, straining themselves to try and make sense of it with wild theories, justifying them with the simple fact that Neil Gaiman is a genius and surely this hot mess must mean something, right? I wasn't aware the world was mostly populated by hysterically besotted people hailing Neil Gaiman's alleged greatness from dawn til dusk without contextualized merit, and the discovery didn't particularly excite me, to be quite honest. I think a healthy amount of fairness in the critique of any artist should always be the norm, but I digress.

I'll try to keep it as brief and matter-of-factly as possible, especially since some time has passed and the fumes of my rage aren't as scorching or as precise as they used to be lol

In a word, this season was subpar. Not only did it lack that original witty, ineffable meaningfulness, that intrinsic and very human sense of wonder and protectiveness towards life and its profound sense the original show brimmed with, but even from the most basic literary point of view, it literally lacked a plot worthy of this name, a story, characters that felt complex and real instead of caricatures who tried and reenact themselves, and in general what should have been, quite simply, good writing.

More than Good Omens' long-awaited season 2, this felt more like a high-budget filler fanfiction created by someone who didn't know what they were doing with story and characters most of the time, but who sure as hell wanted to please the audience to disastrous lengths.

The very first thing that irked me beyond belief, and it literally started from minute one, was the immediate, more or less subtle, change in acting from both Michael and David. Michael stressed it way more, with, in my opinion, quite tragic results, thing that from the start immediately allowed me to guess where they were going with their (already established as extremely complex) relationship, entirely turning the vibe from sophisticated allegory of Divine Comedy kind of love (love for your enemy, love for your friend, love in all its form and in its entirety) to banal romantic comedy-level gay drama, downgrading what Crowley and Aziraphale shared (the subtle abysses of it!) into the most boring and obvious of soap operas, obviously forcing them to act out of character in order to compensate (was any flash-back meaningful to their character or the story? Was there a writing reason behind any of them beyond writing for the sake of filling screen-time?).

Some relationships deserve to be left alone, alone in their subtlety and ambiguousness or you'll inevitably ruin them. Not everyone must kiss on screen, no matter how much the audience screams and throws up for it. This little woke drama completely ruined and eclipsed everything else those two characters were for each other, turning them from cosmic and devastatingly loyal best friends to petty and dumb lovers that need two plot devices (the messy pointless and quite frankly offensive representation-wise lesbians from across the street they literally met five minutes prior) to tell them they actually have feeling for each other and should share them. After literal millennia of this relationship, relationship that has its own inner workings and reasons, we needed the plot-lesbians to subvert the order of things and spur Crowley into action, obviously obtaining disastrous and lame results? Are we witnessing the interaction of immortal beings or five-year-olds? The only way I can genuinely make sense of this dumbness is considering those two female "characters" (that feel anything but real people) no more than that, characters, golems, put there by Metatron via the power of the Book of Life (again, so many Chekhov's guns with no use whatsoever in this season) in order to separate Az and Crowley using the only thing that could succeed in doing it - an ill placed declaration of love.

But even this doesn't match the true être of what Good Omens originally was nor comes full circle with the ineffable mystery season 1 ended with. It genuinely feels like Gaiman changed the whole rhyme and reason of the story, vibes, meaning, register, just to meet the modern needs of a category that is sadly phagocytizes everything else in both life and fiction. And I find it a true pity - and a bore.

And even leaving aside this personal boredom of mine at a non-existent plot that consisted in 1) a big mystery that promised cosmic repercussions (season 1 ended with the after-nonapocalyptic world that was slightly changed just because two enemies had loved each other and life too much not to oppose god's plan - fact that was probably god's plan all along), mystery that was actually no mystery at all (two random, from the original story's perspective, previous minor characters in literally ten supernatural minutes fell in love and run away together) and that meant virtually nothing in the grand scheme of things, but serving as a plot device so that the other two minor new characters could intrude into the protagonists' relationship so they could finally have the excuse to jump literary genre and kiss & queer tragedy the story away 2) an endless series of symbols, facts, episodes and characters that constantly seemed to hint at something but that in reality resulted in nothing story-wise (also, the change of heart in God's personality, first the witty and almighty trickster for the greater good, now the divine bully??), even leaving all this aside, I'm mostly disappointed the quality of the writing plummeted so inesorabily one of my comfort show turned into the symbol of an artistic era I'm utterly distraught to have to witness - the era of crowd-pleasers and un-imagination.

As for this being a filler season, writing in such an unresolved way (basic and predictable plot, colourless characters, cliché romance, hours of happenings that don't mean a thing in the current story) is unacceptable and a failure, even if you are a famous writer. You cannot waste hours of the audience's time going nowhere shielded by the sole future promise of sense. Writing doesn't work that way, and I'm sincerely appalled to see people noticing it and deciding to excuse it with a "surely next season everything will look genius!". It doesn't work this way. The faults were too many, they can't possibly be all resolved next season. This product wasn't great, even if your faves kissed and your little fanfictions came true.

The sad thing is, Good Omens used to be a work of art, not the next consumeristic piece of fiction to satisfy woke needs.

#I don't want to sound harsh but this was a true let down #one of the many this year #art is dead #good omens #sofoulandfairaday #asks/replies #one and one thousand stories lis told

[stewykablooey]

i'd like to hear your thoughts on shiv's homophobia if you have any? 👀 ngl i did a double take when you called her homophobic—clearly she can conveniently use homophobia to emasculate her interlocutor, but i don't think she has any deep-seated beliefs of the sort, unlike kendall and his misogyny and the fact that he doesn't want to involve her in the business partly because of that

which brings us to

she'd probably replicate the sympathy/solidarity thing with stewy too, in this case because she's a woman and he's a brown man, paired with the fact that the two of them, unlike kendall, 1) can't simply conceal who they are, 2) are not allowed to assert masculinity in an aggressive way. quite obviously shiv's relationship to stewy is largely mediated by their respective relationships with kendall but i won't say more

hi <3

you’re right in that shiv is not homophobic in the sense of having deep-seated beliefs on the matter at all, shiv’s issue with gayness has less to do with the physicality of it but more of the gender implications which is to say that shiv’s homophobia is really just an extension of her internalized misogyny. it’s again related with the masculinity aspect, it’s not about how gay you are but how much you will deviate from your gender and most importantly how much of that is a threat to her? in terms of gay men, shiv sees it as just an extended boys club that she cant access even if it’s just through sex and attraction, the one card she can play as a woman (this was first mentioned by @/shesnake and @/akajustmerry in their succession gaytv podcast episode which i highly recommend) but also it’s how much can their masculinity trump their gayness. out of all the siblings shiv is probably the one that shares logan’s ideas of masculinity the most. she thinks ken is too soft and she thinks roman is weird and she thinks connors lame and its because they just dont align to that idea of logan-masculinity (without getting too daddy issues about it lol) which is also why she’s with tom, because he’s just masculine enough but also decidedly not masculine enough to be a real threat to overshadow her.

which all applies to shiv’s relationship to stewy because stewy is the ultimate threat because he plays at both masculinity and femininity like stewy will never be a logan-type masculine and he knows that which is why he plays to his other strengths which is charm and it’s so carefully cultivated on stewys end Because he knows he can never pass as a logan-type masculine so he Has to play up the handsome charm and confidence but also stewy Is inherently masculine in that he definitely fits in as a man even if it’s the asshole insane amounts of money SUCCESS cocaine party animal kind of man, which may not be man enough in logans book but it’s definitely man enough for the world stewy is operating in which is why he can operate in it so successfully and the success is key. stewy’s riches are self made for the most part which gives him power and status in being an earner and a moneymaker but also stewy’s not in a position of leading stewys not vying for ceo he’s not vying to be top dog which is why he doesn’t Need a logan-type masculinity But he still needs some kind of masculinity to stay afloat which goes back to his crucially self-managed image. in terms of shiv, stewy confuses her in that he isnt a logan-type masculine but a) it doesnt bother him/he doesnt want to be and b) he’s still a winner anyway. but also there’s that edge of homophobia in that she’s confused and annoyed about it because she really thinks ‘youre not a real man. why are you thriving here?’ but also with a little bit ‘you’re a little bit feminine you’re a little bit masculine how does that work/im pissed off that that won’t work for me’ but also again going back to ‘being charming is the card i get to play, but now you get to play it too but also again it works for you but not for me’

there is Also of course. racism. shiv would never feel a solidarity with stewy over him being brown and her being a woman because she’s racist. kendall being gay and her being woman has a common denominator of being white before it has a common denominator of being oppressed. the racism also feeds into shiv’s opposition to stewy’s masculinity. ‘you’re not a man’ is as much because he doesn’t fit an idea of masculinity that she understands as much as it is just her not seeing him as as much of a man because he’s not white.

#this is so long and for what lmao #peace and love #ask #m

[readerwithsalt]

Opinion on both lol, if its still good for you

Well personally I’ve always been a Solangelo shipper. But sadly the reason was never because I liked Will solace. The reason I was so diehard was because I wanted Nicos character to finally to be happy lol.

The reason I was not particularly fond of Will solace:

well… the biggest reason was before he became Nico’s boyfriend he was never really a character on his own, you know? Like all of the other (straight) couples each was a character by themselves with growth, their own povs, arcs and stuff and then Nico (one of the most famed characters since the first series) was shoved together quite forcibly with this random background character that no one really remembered existed lol.

Now I’m not saying that having a background character shoved with a main character is always bad, but…

Anyway, another reason was Will’s utter disrespect to Nico in BOO. I know people say that Will only gaslighted Nico because Nico deserved it but personally I don’t think so. Will gaslighted Nico into believing that he was stupid pretty much. Saying that ‘no one at camp ever pushed him away’ (a lie since we’ve seen and been told the exact opposite in all the previous books) and telling the most traumatized character in the series that he just needs to ‘get out of his brooding cloud’. And pretty much saying he’s dumb for wanting to leave a camp that ostracized him for years lol.

I couldn’t help comparing Will’s angry and disrespectful reaction to Nico’s pain and feeling like an outcast in BOO to Jason’s understanding and respectful reaction to it. I was wondering why Rick made Will so annoying and pushy and rude and Jason so understanding and respectful of Nicos boundaries.

Will is very pushy, and he is always acting like Nico doesn’t know how to take care of himself and how to use his own powers even though Nico has been taking care of himself since he was ten years old. It’s not quite fun to read.

In ToN I liked Will a bit more tbh. I thought he was more respectful of Nico and stuff. But the thing that was still lacking was: character info. I know the pov was in apollos but still there wasn’t much.

In tsats they cranked up everything I disliked about Will up to eleven. They made him EXTREMELY whiny on a quest he insisted on going on. They made him feel burdensome. They made him feel… lame. He was a drag to read about. And for some reason they insisted on shoving Solangelo into the Light/Dark trope and made Will out to be someone who had never done anything bad in his life and couldn’t understand what personal darkness was even though he is a battlefield medic and knows it firsthand.

And it irked me that they kept having Nico describe Will as perfect and stuff and almost act as if Nico doesn’t deserve Will when, in my opinion, it is completely the other way around. Will almost seems to tolerate Nico more than like him in tsats lol. I wasn’t really a fan of it tbh.

They didn’t do anything special with Will and every piece of backstory we got from him was like eating plain white bread. That’s what his character felt like.

Plain white bread. 🍞

I don’t consider tsats to be canon tho because of the fact that mark oshiro changed riordans original outline of the book, named the book himself, and wrote 80% of it 😂. So yeah it’s pretty much published fanfic with an ‘okay’ from the original writer sadly.

I suppose the reason I don’t like Solangelo is because of Will not being a real character more like a cardboard cutout so that Nico won’t be alone romantically (even though he’s 14 and don’t need a man lol)

And one more reason I’m not quite into Solangelo anymore is that it seemed like when they got together that all of Nicos other important relationships took a backseat. In particular his relationship with Hazel. We had chapters of Nico and Hazel bonding and as soon as he’s shoved with Will solace his relationship with his favorite person is thrown to the wind….

Yeah.

#nico di angelo #tsats #solangelo #tsats spoilers #hazel levesque #pjo hoo toa #tsats review #underworld siblings #jason grace #percy jackson #pjo fandom #sun and the star #tsats crit #pjo stuff #nico rants #hoo fandom

[deacblues]

Love your post about Homestuck properly utilizing its status as a webcomic, and, I think that's why so many people just think Homestuck is bad, or that it's impossible to get into. They get so hung up on the "comic" aspect that they don't take into account the web" portion. Homestuck's ironic. Homestuck has memes. Homestuck doesn't show you literally every moment of someone's life. Homestuck's absolutely rudely offensive.

Because that's literally just The Internet. (Especially that last part.) Homestuck is just Hussie taking the internet that you use every waking day of your life and compiling it on a pretty ugly webpage.

thank you! i should probably link to that post, here.

homestuck's format can be pretty tough to get the hang of, yeah. i first tried reading homestuck when it ended back in 2016, and i pretty much gave up after 10 pages or so. you're also right that homestuck can be pretty offensive. you know something's aged poorly if there are fanmade slur-free versions.

i feel like homestuck's irony and use of memes (thankfully it supplies its own memes, so it's not dated in that respect too) might be draws for some people. i'm not so big into memes and irony these days but i imagine lots of people still are.

edit: i think a big part of homestuck is pointing out that internet irony is kind of lame and you should just quit it. forgot to mention this. dave strider is a cautionary tale, but people don't seem to grasp this.

unrelated diatribe but lots of so-called shitposts and shitposters just get on my nerves. it's largely low effort posting non-sequitur. especially on discord, people will interrupt a nice conversation with their lackluster posts and expect you to laugh. come on, man. sorry i just get worked up about the dumbest things lol

#questioning

[billsfangearring]

Honestly we (@billsfangearring @mblematic and @tahtahfornow) don't even know where to begin introducing @broomsticks right now. Jackie, you are the most AMAZING gift to this whole freaking fandom, like <3<3<3

First of all, you are a super talented writer with SUCH a gift for setting moods and choosing the PERFECT words and publishing so many beautiful, deeply compelling femslash and rarepair and dark fics! There wouldn’t even BE certain tags (Petunia/Angelina??) without you and your gorgeous vivid imagination. You are out here doing the lord’s work and nourishing some seriously underfed circles of hp fandom <3 and all we can say is THANK YOU, thank you, thaaaank you!!!!

Also you put out some amazing content for the tamer/more basic fans among us lol... your wolfstar?? your remadora?? absolute perfection with a side of magical trademark Jackie uniqueness... e.g. wolfstar from Peter’s pov, e.g. “awoo without plot,” e.g. Luna/Ginny in the garden... etc. etc. we could go on for hours. 

And not ONLY are you an amazing fic writer (!!), but you are, we think, THE kindest, most encouraging, most empathetic, most welcoming and genuinely inclusive/inclusivity-committed person we have had the fortune of encountering in this fandom! Ever! And maybe outside of the fandom too lolol.

You put so much effort and so many spoons (YOUR SILVERWARE DRAWER MUST BE SO FULL) into crafting beautiful, meaningful comments on fics that make all the work of writing SO WORTH IT for your lucky recipients, and also into reccing and boosting your fellow fic writers’ work and making us all feel so seen & appreciated & loved. (Umm Mutuals March?? You have been so kind, so generous with your time and energy, really, ohmygosh)! On top of that, you're a brilliant beta and cheerleader during the writing and editing process! You have so much insight and kindness, which combine into something extraordinary. You make us better people just by being your lovely self and sharing that with us – you truly are a rare and beautiful spirit who lights up this entire corner of the internet like a shining sun. 

And. AND. Your love for fandom itself is an inspiration. On top of all of the above, you’ve dedicated so much time since joining us jaded veterans to understanding the fandom community and its history and envisioning how to improve its culture that we all forget you haven’t been here for years! Your passion and curiosity are unmatched, and it's such a privilege to learn from you in Discord discussions, your tumblr posts, and your excellently curated and tagged reblogs on this hellsite. Thank you for your service ;)

[personally i wouldn’t even be here now if not for you so you have my eternal thanks for dragging me into the hellsite <3<3 and also for being your wonderful, wonderful self. – June]  

[I would probably be here but I’d definitely be sadder!! My eternal thanks for making both tumblr & discord a happier zone that I will never ever ever ever be able to leave. I will continue to come to you for advice p much for the rest of my life probs?? Hope you’re ready for THAT moohaha – Molly]

[I would probably still be here too but wouldn’t have written any of my own fics or nerded out quite so hard on all things fandom, so thank you for saving me from that comparatively lame existence. <3 How is it that you’re younger than me but also who I want to be when I grow up? (Don’t answer that.) – Billie]

Thank you for everything you write and everything you do, we love you so much!!!! <3

Fic recs and more below the cut!

FICS

Please check the tags for any content warnings for these fics! Take care of yourselves!

but tonight your hand is steady (James/Lily, T, 2k) – a genius character study of my (Billie's) girl Lily that showcases Jackie’s incredible economy of language without sacrificing its beauty.

the grace unasked for (Remus/Tonks, T, 17.5k) – the oh-so-lovely remadora chaptered fic! Exquisite!

how i met your mother (Fleur/Gilderoy, E, 300) – this is the Lockhart fic we all needed. Why is this canon now? Somebody get JKR on the phone (jk keep JKR away from the good stuff) 

More Than This (Remus/Sirius, T, 3k) – my (June's) fave peter POV wolfstar! Such a well done ace Peter and the clever outsider pov wolfstar makes me insane!

pleasing her (Cho/Parvati, T, 200) – DARK!FIC CHO/PAVARTI incredible. DARK. I sincerely yelled at my computer about this one, it’s incredibly effective. 

Poster of a Girl (Sirius/Bellatrix, M, 2k) – weirdly lovely mind-bendy (for me, Molly) fic with Blackcest (Sirius/Bellatrix) and Sirius experiencing gender dysphoria. 

sooner or later (it's over) (Peter/Regulus, T, 1k) – a reverse-chronological Peter character study with some brutal turns of phrase and an utterly underappreciated ship!

sssister (Astoria/Daphne, M, 300) – “Molly don’t rec snake sex fic AGAIN” I DO WHAT I WANT

incandescence (i see me in you) (Daemon Targaryen/Rhaenyra Targaryen, E, 2.5k) – non-HP but hottttttt HOTD fic!!!

REC LISTS

Please check the tags of the recced fics for content warnings too!

leftsidedown's Collections – we would like to point you to the collections Jackie has been very quietly maintaining on AO3 with themed fic recs on top of all the rec lists she posts on tumblr! 

we love butch lesbians in this house – speaking of tumblr rec lists, Jackie always has the most interesting themes, such as multifandom butch rep…

femslash fic recs: ginny + infidelity – …this incredibly specific topic with multiple fics per pairing…

15 het Remus rare ships – …and further showing off her multishipper chops with these het (gasp!) Remus rare pairs.

halloween-themed wolfstar rec bingo – Jackie also does really fun themed bingo card rec lists, like this Halloween Wolfstar one…

dark fiction halloween rec bingo – …these darker and creepier spooky season recs…

wolfstar autumn rec bingo – …and these recs containing all the fall vibes you could ever wish for!

FANDOM ANALYSIS

What was the HP fandom on AO3 writing in 2022?

more miscellaneous stats for HP fics updated in 2022

wolfstar fandom survey results

atyd fic popularity stats

no. of kudos and age of fic: some very confused stats? – more “popularity” over time stats for fics featuring the biggest hp ships

The Fanfic Maverick: Fanfiction History with Talkin' Fanfic PART TWO – liveblogging a fandom history podcast episode with added links!

Fansplaining: Fan Labor, Fan Consumption – liveblogging a fandom meta podcast episode on fan labor!

--

Whew! We could go on but this post is already very long (thank you for appreciating broomsticks enough to read to the end!) so we'll leave things here. We adore you, Jackie!

Love,

Billie, June, and Molly <3

#mutuals march #leftsidedown #bfe fic recs #leftsidedown fic recs #hp fic recs #hp femslash #hp rare pairs #fic recs #<3

[rigil-kentauris]

9 people you’d like to get to know better

tagged by @valerianvault

Three Ships: JUST THREE???

i am ALSO on that ffxiv juice and as yall MAY have guessed from all my aymericposting its wol/aymeric.

id be here all night if i did ffxiv ships so moving on.

hm.

hm.

ffxiv has really taken oven my brain space huh? tbqh the other games im playing rn arent big shipping arenas for me. what do you ship in frostpunk? coal x generator fics i suppose. if youve got time to fuck youve got time to truck in some more steel from the steel pile. extended shifts for everyone.

this is where i would have put my feh ships if feh wasnt dead to me

well i could put bylad/claude three houses here. power couple of the century. going to get an emulator/mod at some point to restore justice in s supports. i havent got anything against bylass ships but usually the way people write her drives me fucking INSANE.

hm what for three. ugh. ugh. ugh i said no more ffxiv. but i would be lying if - and would LOVE to lie about it though - i would be lying if i tried to act like cidnero hasnt consumed at minimum 15% of my waking thoughts in recent months. its like a fucking perplexus sphere. a very Puzzle. like the rct2(?) roller coaster auto complete function. i WILL figure it out. whatever It is. but everytime i solve a piece another puzzle pops up. gonna reduce this fucking fraction youll see. youll all see.

First Ever Ship: lol. so way back when, my sister was trying to tell me her Lame Older Sister about this cool new thing called shipping. which i was NOT getting at all. and she, i would imagine because of the relative mainstream awareness at the time and the largely practical fact that i knew what marvel movies were, decided to offer the example of 'its like What If iron man and captain america were together'

which i thought was patently silly. i dont remember why now. i think my main objection was that it did not happen, and why would people spend so much time thinking about things that did not happen.

well anyway. tale old as time i thought it was very funny to ironically talk about it. and then it was not ironic anymore. so it goes.

Last Song: well according to my phone music app it was of the night by bastille.

Last Movie: hm what WAS the last movie i watched? i havent watched a movie in a minute. well we're going to be rewatching the gran turismo movie probably tonight. i liked it quite a bit in the theater (went to an empty matinée).

Currently Reading: UGH still slogging through Utopia. im at a part where it seems tommy has lost the thread, so, its difficult. and then my friend wrote a book! and im very excited to read the new draft

Currently Watching: SCAVENGERS REIGN!!!! a very beautiful and thought provoking show about a group of people who get stranded on an alien planet and how they interact with that biosphere and themselves. the animation is beautiful and colorful. it is on hbo max or whereever you receive hbo products. the last episodes drop today idk if i can handle it

Currently Consuming: nothing because i just woke up. im going to haul myself out of bed for some frosted shredded miniature wheats soon i hope

Currently Craving: anything but frosted shredded miniature wheats. bacon cheese egg wrap. chocolate chip brioch bun. pasta. hm i might be hungry. lets say Food

Tagging: @czigonas @plaidypus @lieutenantk thanks for joing me on my breadmaking saga yesterday.

#guess how many times ive built the brothel in frostpunk ONLY ONCE SUCK AND FUCK? MORE LIKE LETS PICK UP. THE PACE. #WRAP UP WELL? UH YEAH? THE COLD ISHERE #about me #ask games