#I still feel love | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monochromatic14u · 2 months

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Im aroace, but i crave another persons body heat next to me when i lay down in bed.

Im aroace, but i want someone i trust so much that we can have whole-body skin to skin contact without fearing that we will be harmed or advanced upon.

Im aroace, but i dont want to live in a house with just myself.

Im aroace, but i want to wake up to somebody i care for immensely every day.

Im aroace, but i want to bring another person along with me through this adventure called life.

Im aroace, but i want to feel loved and cared for and love and care for them in return.

Im aroace, but i want this all without romance; just closeness.

Im aroace, but i want a life partner that i trust above anyone else.

Im aroace, but i want to love with all of my heart. Just not the way others think i should.

Im aroace, but i have so much love to give.

#oriented aroace #aroace #aromantic #asexual #qpr concepts #I still feel love #free write #poetry #spilled ink #spilled poetry #queer community #queer #queer pride

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batri-jopa · 5 months

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world_of_engineering_75 on Instagram

#Instagram #tiger #tiger art #animator #automaton #(not exactly but with similar level of awesomeness)#puppetry #puppet #cool #awesome #I love this #it feels so real #and ppl reaction. knowing it's not the real one. they still lose their shit!😆#cool video #animatronic #cgi can choke

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inkskinned · 9 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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hansoeii · 5 months

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let time pass.

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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the-phantom-peach · 3 months

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skyward sword… yeah <3

Crimson Loftwing

↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺

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thethoriumreactor · 2 months

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human alastor

(With a bonus baby al)

(Ignore whatever tf I did with the microphones idk how they work I’m sorry)

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loumands · 1 year

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I feel like many people have a fundamental misconception of what unreliable narrator means. It's simply a narrative vehicle not a character flaw or a sign that the character is a bad person. There are also many different types of unreliable narrators in fiction. Being an unreliable narrator doesn't necessarily mean that the character is 'wrong', it definitely doesn't mean that they're wrong about everything even if some aspects in their story are inaccurate, and only some unreliable narrators actively and consciously lie. Stories that have unreliable narrators also tend to deal with perception and memory and they often don't even have one objective truth, just different versions. It reflects real life where we know human memory is highly unreliable and vague and people can interpret same events very differently

#the way some people (usually lestat fans lol) talk about louis being an unreliable narrator has frustrated me #i still insist louis' unreliableness is mostly subtle (passing quickly over things he doesn't want to think about #presenting things that factually happened in a way he can build a story that makes sense to him #not knowing what lestat is thinking and feeling so interpreting him differently than lestat himself probably would)#rather than he's telling something that didn't really happen or is under armand's mind control or something #like for example i think it's been made very clear all the abuse really happened they're not gonna suddenly pull the rug from under it #if anything i feel lestat is going to turn out to be even worse than louis perceived him when we hear people who are not in love w him lol #keanu.txt

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sysig · 4 months

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Permission to headbutt: Granted (Patreon)

#My art #UT #Sans #Papyrus #Ft. something smol and I do on a regular basis ♪#This could be Handplates or it could be classic Undertale I leave that up to you lol #I definitely picked up a lot of the style quirks lol - but there are some of the ones that I like myself! Like Papyrus' darkmode clothes lol #And Sans' shorts having the stripe in the front haha - little details ♫#Realistically it probably is Handplates tho just based on where my head's at lol - I love the Handplates dynamic :D #Handplates #I talked myself into it! Pfft ♪#I found myself relating a lot to Sans especially while rereading - I want nothing more in the world than for my siblings to be happy! <3 #So I gathered up a bunch of ideas of things especially me and smol do together and this was the most obviously cute one haha #Easiest to do! Tho I did still go a little extra on this lol #I'm trying to do more digital stuff ♪ It wasn't the best art day and I'm still a little nervous to jump right in :')#Not doing any sketches on paper beforehand feels weird but I guess it is thematic in a way lol #And I'm still pleased with how they turned out hehe #It really does feel nice to be drawing them again <3 #And doing silly sibling things! Hehe #I dunno how clear it is since it's so ingrained into how smol and I talk to each other lol family language!#One of us will literally just announce ''bonk'' and the other will prepare for/lean in for a headbutt haha #She is a tiny bit taller than me - it's not quite /this/ extreme but she does lean down for me! S'cute <3 #I like to think Papyrus would do the same hehe ♪ Let your lazy brother headbutt you! He can only reach so far!#On minimal effort anyhow hehe #It's just a fun way to be silly together ♫♪#Also yes I did show this to her and she cosigned lol - ''Cute'' -smol

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ducktollers · 3 months

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best friends

#valentines day #love puppy #love kitten #webkinz #digital art #id in alt text #my art #ik i said i would do raccoons again but i remembered ive been meaning to draw webkinz love puppy idk #this was mostly an excuse to experiment w brushes and textures. experiment failed i still hate them #my battle w procreate is ongoing 🔪#idk i feel like i should keep a tradition of valentines day drawings #HOPEFULLY now that school is done. maybe ill finally have the mental bandwidth to draw in october #which is way better than february 😑

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ash-elizabeth-art · 3 months

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Would you still love me if I was a worm?🥺

#this is so dumb i'm sorry lol #but feel free to print it or send it to someone if you want x)#would you still love me if i was a worm #memes #valentines

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uncanny-tranny · 9 months

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Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

#amatonormativity #ask to tag (genuine)#i honestly *wish* conversations like this were things i was exposed to when i was younger...#...maybe then i'd've felt less of a need to surpress my aromanticism and asexuality...#...the feeling of brokenness still trails behind me sometimes because so many of us are taught that this all WILL happen...#...we WILL fall in love. we WILL have a nuclear family. we WILL be satisfied with this...#...and that this is the IDEAL for cishet patriarchal structures...#...and that /any/ deviation to the SLIGHTEST degree is that fault of the *individual*. who WOULDN'T want this life?#there's this idea like i said that maturity is gained as you almost... adhere to expectations...#...and that's genuinely dangerous to associate maturity with that and i hope you can fill in those gaps because it can get dark fast

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lilowoof · 2 years

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#I made this to let out the feels of loving my friends who love me back #if I haven't met some of yall I would have literally killed myself so I am forever grateful #and the fact that those feelings have returned....but I still have you guys....it's heartwarming to know that #I love yall #*I walk away to cry out my emotions*#I am not sure if I will make it to the end of the year tbh but I also want to in order to be around my pals and to play games with them #that's how important yall are to me #god #sorry for being so emotional on a thursday night. it just hit me really hard tonight hahha

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collieii · 11 months

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someone probably said this already but in spiderverse i think it's interesting how when pavitr was first introduced everyone thought something bad was gonna happen to him bc of how confident and optimistic he was. and then in the actual movie we see that something bad was supposed to happen to him (police chief dying!) but it doesn't! miles stops it! and miguel berates miles for this, says it's going to cause the universe to collapse or whatever.

there's this idea that tragedy is inherent to spidermans growth, and while it's true that some spiderpeople learn important lessons through loss, no one stops to ask, is it really necessary? yeah, maybe the chief was supposed to die. but why does spiderman have to be formed through tragedy? why do we (as heroes) have to let people die? pavitr didn't lose anyone, and he's still a good spiderman! maybe, if he doesn't suffer, he'll end up better off for it!

so while miguel is arguing for all this big picture stuff about saving the multiverse he's lost sight of what it really means to be a spiderman, he's not looking out for the real individual people. yeah it's just one person who would die, but that one person means something to someone. shrugging and saying "stuff just sucks sometimes, we can't do anything about it" is the opposite of what superheroes do. pretty obviously, miles arc is also a reflection of the struggles people face in real life, working within unequal systems, where it's easy to shrug and say "that's just the way it is" and not ask "but why does it need be this way? can't we do something about it?"

miguel is arguing that you can't have your cake and eat it too. presumably, miles and co. are going to find a way to get around that and change things for the better (and maybe that's why miles has that line about two cakes in the advisors office!)

#across the spiderverse #across the spider verse spoilers #break from my regularly scheduled trigun posting for spider posting #i'm actually kinda eh on the idea of the canon and police chiefs dying it is not my favorite plot point #but like any sane person i love spiderverse so #actually still think i like the first one more but wroaw much to think about #spiderverse #atsv #.lieii #i only watched the movie once so hopefully this is all accurate #i feel like this is all really obvious my point was like #pavitr being an example of a spiderperson who is still successful without going through all these awful things #and you think despite all this stuff about the multiverse how does he feel about the chief being saved? hes probably rly grateful right?#i mean maybe something terrible will happen to him in the next movie but. yk what im saying #.lieii txt

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mienar · 8 months

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stillness in these waking hours

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#artists on tumblr #animated illustration #2d animation #backgrounds #digital art #animated gif #environment illustration #myillust #cozy #office #workspace #rain #gifs #this was inspired by how i've been having to stay up all night to get some stuff done and one day #i was just looking out the window and watched the sunrise through the grey rainy clouds c':#everything felt so quiet and still - it took a lot out of me to not animate more things in this one heh #i love how it turned out - the serene-ness and stillness of it all really captured the feeling i wanted to recreate :')#(also this isn't my irl workspace lol maybe the blinds and as usual this is just my character not me)#but i nonetheless hope you'll like this! <3 wishing you a lovely day or night ahead!

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theoldkyokodied · 7 months

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Aaaaand more very quick stream doodles. This one shot was so fun to watch, it’s so sad that it had to end already. But oh well, let’s not dwell on that and let’s enjoy the good time we had, like disguised tiefling gale being both Karlachs and astarions type, wyll and gale having a spa day, bing bong in general (rip king, you will be missed), and of course the 8 strength fight for magic items <3 thanks to the cast for the chaos, I enjoyed it thoroughly

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #gale dekarios #shadowheart #wyll ravengard #karlach #lae'zel #bloodweave #bc I say so #>:3c #I also refuse to draw gale without the beard sorry #I’m so happy we got to see more Tim being chaotic. he’s like the eye of the storm. calm and unassuming while commanding the chaos #around him #the gale wine mom moment was literally so real I nearly cried from laughter when Tim mimed eating the cucumber slices from his face mask #god I wish they could do a whole campaign I would watch that back and fourth #everything I draw that includes them is bloodweave bc I love them dearly. same goes for shartzel (still love that ship name)#I just have not yet drawn actual ship art outside of this of them so I feel less comfortable tagging it as such 🥹

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