#I personally ship Ava with happiness and someone who she can experience it with
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All in two days - Part 4
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | full masterlist on pinned post
Newt x gender neutral!reader
Set a few days after Part 3, with the group settled in the Safe Haven already
Warnings: nightmares, language (Glader slang and normal swearing)
"So, new kid." Brenda sits beside you from where you're stretched out on a blanket on the beach. "Thoughts on the fight?"
"Kid? You know, we're probably the same age. I might even be older than you." You shoot her a grin.
She laughs. "All of you Maze people seem younger though. Different world experience. Oh, wait. You weren't there right?"
"Yep, lived in the Scorch just like you."
"Ah, I remember you now. You're the one Newt was all crazy about."
You control your expression, shoving down the fluttering in your stomach. "What do you mean?"
"He kept insisting that we go back for someone in the Scorch, after we found the Right Arm."
She snorts, "Was almost ready to throw hands when Jorge said there was no point going back for one person."
"Oh," you look down and self-consciously brush some sand off your legs.
Brenda looks at you suspiciously. "What, you guys dating or something?"
You shake your head. "Nah, it's not like that. He doesn't- We're not together."
"Oh. Well it's not my business, but it seemed like he..." she shrugs.
"Anyway," says Brenda. "Are you in for the fight?"
Lately, the Right Arm has been planning missions to rescue the other children WCKD still has.
Even though Lawrence's rebels attacked the Last City, WCKD is still standing, and they've continued shipping Immunes around for their research. Ava Paige and Janson are still alive too.
Because of all that, the Right Arm has been recruiting people from the Safe Haven who want to fight and help with the mission.
"You know," says Brenda. "You're all allowed to opt out on this one. You've already been through a lot, and it's more than reasonable for you to stay here."
You sigh deeply. "Yeah, we know." You turn your gaze to her. "But we're all in."
"Really?"
"Yeah. None of us have ever really been able to back away from a fight; especially Thomas."
"Although," you add, "My sister is definitely staying here. No way in hell am I sending Elle into a fight."
Brenda nods, smiling. "Well then, come join the meetings when you're ready."
⭒----⭒
You're having dinner one day when someone brings it up again.
"Hey," says Thomas casually. "How're things with you and Newt?"
You put down your fork and give him a look.
"I'm just asking," he protests.
You turn to Teresa for support, but she shrugs apologetically. "I kinda want to hear it too," she admits.
There's no one else at the table to stop this conversation, and you roll your eyes. "Why do people keep asking that?" you say exasperatedly.
"It's just- we all know you two had a thing," says Thomas. "But now you're just both flirty and sad at the same time, and someone has to do something about it."
You frown. "We're not flirty and sad."
"You are." Teresa leans forward. "You're both so in love it's borderline exhausting, but you're also so stubborn and no one has made a single move yet."
"I literally saw the two of you cuddling on the beach the other day. But you still insist on not getting together." adds Thomas.
"Y/n, we're just trying help you. As your friends, we know you'd be so much happier being with Newt for real."
You look down, tapping the table absentmindedly.
"You can't honestly say you don't like him," prods Thomas.
You sigh. "I do," you admit.
At Thomas and Teresa's expressions, you hastily add, "But it's not like that. He doesn't feel that way about me. Not anymore, I mean."
"So, you're saying that, if he was in love with you, you would definitely be together."
"Of course," you say. "But it doesn't matter. I just want him to be happy, and being friends is what he wants."
"God, you're made for each other," says Teresa, looking at you fondly. "That's exactly what-"
You shake your head. "Can we change the topic?"
Thomas sighs. "Okay. He's coming over here anyway."
You turn to say Newt, Minho, and Frypan walking over to your table.
As Frypan sits on your left, Minho pushes smoothly in front of Newt to sit on your right.
Newt stops and blinks. In that moment of hesitation, Minho sends him a shark's grin. "Oh, sorry, did you wanna sit here? I can move."
"I- uh... No, it's fine. It's..." he trails off and moves to the other side with Thomas and Teresa, sitting diagonally across from you.
You shut your eyes and massage your temples as Minho turns his smirk to you.
You know your friends mean well, and are just having fun, but this is getting to be a bit much.
You stand abruptly and leave the table, depositing your plate and cutlery at the wash station.
Later, you're walking past the area again, with Newt and Minho on wash station duty.
You don't mean to eavesdrop, but you hear their conversation on the way past.
"Minho, you can't just do that mate. Did you see how embarrassed they were?"
"Relax, they were fine. Maybe a little pissed, but-"
You walk up to them. "Hey."
They stop talking immediately, Newt flushing red as he looks up from the dishes.
"Y/n, hi."
You lean on the counter casually. "What're you guys talking about?"
As Newt fumbles for words, Minho slides in with "The weather. It's real nice today isn't it?"
"Beautiful," you agree, raising your eyebrows.
"Well, we better be getting back to these dishes," says Minho, holding up a soapy plate.
You nod. "Right, bye then. Bye Newt."
"B-" he clears his throat. "Bye Y/n."
⭒----⭒
You're lying awake again, your hut feeling small and confining. Elle's in the next room, sleeping soundly.
It's safe and comforting, but it also brings you back to the Scorch, when it was just the two of you. You can't shake the loneliness.
You think about the night you and Newt had gone out and sat together in the sand, talking and alternating between the heavy topics and light conversation.
You get up out of bed and leave the hut quietly, shutting the door softly so you don't wake your sister.
Looking out at the beach, you can see two figures huddled close together. You can also see a lone person sitting on the tall branch of a tree, staring out into the ocean, and another three people walking in the shallows with their hands linked.
You suppose that with so many of these people coming from WCKD, there would be a lot of uneasy sleepers.
Maybe if you walk around for a bit, you'll find Newt awake sitting somewhere.
You wander around the Safe Haven, your path lit by dying torches and moonlight.
You see more people awake as you walk around, with one girl sitting in front of her hut holding a mug in her hands, and two boys sitting together at the dining tables. There's another pair lying in the grass field, their hands raised as they point at constellations in the sky.
"Y/n."
You turn. "Teresa, hey." Not who you were looking for, but someone to talk to.
"Couldn't sleep?" she asks.
You shake your head in response, and she waves you over to where she's sitting in the empty kitchen.
"Late night snack?" she offers jokily, smiling softly.
You grin back. "So, what's keeping you up?"
Her smile fades, and you wait patiently for her to speak.
She takes a breath. "WCKD did something to me, way back before we escaped and met you. They unlocked some of my memories, and I started seeing my childhood again." She stares off into the distance, lost in her memories.
"My mother... she got the Flare. It was horrible. And I was just a kid." You can hear her voice wavering.
"Teresa..." you reach out and take her hand.
"Actually, I kinda wanted to tell you about this. I understood why you... you know."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, for your sister. The circumstances are a little different, but for me... I would've done anything to save my mother. If that meant giving up my friends to find a cure, I would've done it."
"I just," she continues. "I'm trying to say I get it."
"Thank you for understanding," you whisper, squeezing her hand.
"But then, when we were the ones to experience it, the simulations they put us through to get what they wanted... I've got half a mind to give up on finding a cure. Just let Immunes have children and pass the gene on."
Your heart hurts at her cynical, hopeless tone. "Maybe we can do it. You're a genius, T. You and Thomas could find a way to do it without harming people."
She nods gratefully, her smile returning.
"Yeah, thanks. So what's your thing tonight?"
⭒----⭒
You end up having a lot of late night conversations with Teresa. You learn about the visions WCKD forced her to see, and how she still has nightmares about them.
It's not always Teresa though. You're glad when you don't see her, because that means she's slept better.
You see Minho out there too. Sometimes you get to talking with him, but the two of you usually just sit or take night time walks in comfortable silence, drawing comfort from each other.
Aris and Frypan are rarities to see; they’re probably the type of people who don't dream at night. Just fall asleep and wake up the next morning. Lucky bastards.
You see Thomas on occasion, and you usually plan missions or talk about everything you’ve been through.
With him, there have been many a “fuck you WCKD!” screamed into the ocean. Sometimes other people join in too. It’s a good way to make friends.
Although, you do owe your sister’s life to WCKD, so you probably can’t say they’re all bad.
You’re on the way out again when you hear noises from a hut nearby. Your group occupies a cluster of huts together, and one of them has an open window tonight.
It’s Newt’s, you realise as you walk up to the hut. As you get closer, you can hear little whispers of “no” and quick breathing. He’s having a nightmare.
You hesitate for a bit, then climb in through his window.
“Newt.” You grab his shoulders and shake him. “Wake up. Wake up.”
You panic as his cries grow more distressed. “Newt!”
He finally opens his eyes, launching up and flinching away, blanket scrunched in his hands as he backs up against the wall.
As moonlight streams in, you can see the sheen of sweat on his face, and you can still hear him panting.
You stay crouched on the ground beside the bed, not wanting to startle him.
Suddenly, he starts to yell again. “Y/n!” He looks around, gaze turning wildly. “Y/n!”
“Newt! Newt, I’m here.” You move up onto the bed, perched on your knees as you grip his wrists.
“Y/n?”
“Yeah, I’m here” you say, giving him a smile. “It’s okay. Just a nightmare, wasn’t real.”
He deflates, exhaling shakily. “That’s good, just breathe,” you say.
“Can you…” he gestures vaguely.
You nod, and pull him closer so he’s resting flush against your body, face pressed into your shoulder.
You card your fingers through his hair gently, whispering soft comforting words.
“I keep seeing them,” he says with a scratchy voice. You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting there without speaking, until he starts.
“I keep seeing the visions WCKD showed me in the simulation.”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper.
“It’s not-”
“I know, I’m just sorry you’re still going through that. You can tell me, if it’ll help. Maybe get it off your chest.”
He closes his eyes. “They showed me the Maze, made me run until my stupid leg gave out, and the Grievers got me.
“I’ve watched Minho, Alby, and Thomas getting crushed by the Maze doors when they didn't make it back in time.
"And I saw you. My mind made up a vision where WCKD got you too. They were torturing you, making you tell them where we were. That’s what I was dreaming off tonight.” He ends with a raspy voice.
“Newt…” You can’t think of words to express the sorrow and pain you feel for him. “I’m okay, I promise. You never have to worry about that.”
You fall asleep soon, holding each other in his bed.
You still don’t sleep as much as you should, and you wake up before sunrise, but it’s better.
“Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” You offer.
“Yeah, that’d be nice.”
You pick your jacket up off the floor, where you dropped it last night.
As you start to pull it on, he stops you. “Wait.”
You follow his gaze to the leather wrapped around your upper arm. “Is that my…”
“Oh, yeah,” you say. “I, uh- I’ve worn it every day, actually. You know, just as a… reminder, or something.”
“Huh.” His expression is unreadable.
You don’t speak again until you get to the beach.
“Y/n.”
You turn to Newt. “Yeah?”
There’s a pause. “You know I trust you, right?”
You’re caught off guard. “What?”
“I trust you,” he repeats. “Listen, when I tell you about nightmares and all, it’s because I trust you with that stuff.
“I’m not bringing it up to tell you that what happened was your fault. You got that? I’m just tellin' you cause I trust you.”
You smile at him. “Yeah, thanks.”
“I’m serious, Y/n. Everything is… it’s all okay. There’s nothing left to forgive.”
“I feel like you have another point.”
“I just mean, don’t hold yourself back because you think I don’t trust you, or cause you think you don’t deserve to get closer.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
“Get closer,” he says, turning to look you straight in the eyes. “I- I want you to get closer. I don’t need this shield you put up, especially since you’re putting it up for my sake. I miss you. I miss you from before.”
“Look Y/n,” he continues. “We fixed things, mostly. But even though it’s fixed, there’s still one thing between us, and it’s that invisible barrier you keep up. There’s a line you think you can’t cross, but I’m telling you it’s gone. You don’t need that line.”
“Jeez Newt, that was like five metaphors in one sentence,” you put on a casual grin and give a short laugh.
“Y/n.” He physically moves in front of you this time, and you stop walking.
You rake a hand through your hair. “I don’t know what you want from me, Newt,” you say quietly.
He cups your cheek gently. “I want you to stop holding back. Let this happen.”
You look up into his eyes.
“Tell me if I’m wrong,” he says, voice lowering, and you feel his nose brush against yours.
You close your eyes automatically as he presses a soft kiss on your lips.
Your eyes flutter open as he slowly pulls back, running a thumb over your bottom lip.
“So was I wrong?” he asks huskily.
You force yourself away. “You just had a nightmare about me. You could just be-”
“Was I wrong?” He interrupts.
You huff out a laugh and loop your arms around his waist. “You weren’t wrong.”
He kisses you again, and this time you respond, tugging him as close as possible and kissing back.
You break away with a breathless laugh, pressing your forehead against his. “I’ve wanted this forever,” you tell him.
“I know,” he says, grinning. “Me too.”
You decide to take the leap. “I love you,” you say.
You’re only halfway through the ‘you’ when he crashes his lips into yours, everything colliding as arms wrap around bodies and hands thread through hair.
“I love you too.”
⭒----⭒
Breakfast that day is a fun ordeal.
Minho takes one look at the smiles on both your faces and knows instantly.
The rest catch on after Minho starts yelling and pointing.
The ‘we’re so happy for you’ phase quickly gives way to relentless teasing, but you go through it with your hand linked with Newt’s, so it’s a pretty good time in the end.
Ahhhhhh that’s it. That’s the end of this one request that was meant to be a nice two-parter at most and ended up being this.
Thank you to everyone who read and/or interacted with this!! As a new writer I’m honestly so grateful for my 4 person squad of people who like each fic ❤️❤️
There’s more on the way, I’ll see you on the next fic!
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❦ (not rocket sorry lil fuzzy)
Send a ❦ if you'd consider shipping our muses.
I will be so honest, I think Ava and Scott would be rlly cute together. If you ask me, I think if Scott knew the details of what was going on with her, I think he would’ve wanted to help her out, but Hank had to have his hate boner.
#「 It's an old code Skipper I can't make it out || Asks 」#ghostarr#|| I just think they'd be sweet on each other#I personally ship Ava with happiness and someone who she can experience it with#aslo Rocket just: >:( I didn't wanna be shipped anyways
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you've misunderstood me. that ask wasnt about my personal preferences, it was about my observations (which, in truth, may or may not be accurate). I already know it's difficult to make a character like Ava appealing to druck's target audience, who prob can't relate to her experiences, but it can be done. Fatou is a black lesbian and she was surely very popular in s5 (it's just a shame her season proved to be so so, but this is just my humble opinion). As for my comment about how the actors' online presence helps promote continued interest in their characters/ship. I was not suggesting they ~need~ to it. I was merely pointing out that (in the skamverse anyway) it often helps to sustain the interest in the couple during the breaks between seasons, or when content on a particular couple is sparse/non-existent
1. You can't compare Ava and Fatou AT ALL. The reason Fatou was so popular was 1. She's a wlw, and because they're so few wlw couples that actually have a happy ending, she'll naturally have a loyal following, and 2. She was written as soft-spoken and quiet in s5, which was in direct contrast to Ava. There's a reason why outspoken and direct black women, especially dark-skinned black women are seen as "aggressive" and "bold" by the audience and furthermore disliked, unless they're catering directly to the fan favourite or are used as comedy relief (see Sam from old gen as reference). Also, Fatou as lightskinned black woman who is closer to the beauty standard will naturally be favoured more by the audience, they're are soooo many posts from s6 that probe my point, so to compare them is very harmful.
2. Sure, it might "help", but they sure as he'll shouldn't feel obligated to do so, imagine you'd have to meet up with someone to play up the ship you're portraying, that really sounds awkward at least to me
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Rip Hunter Appreciation Week #5 - Fixit!
I’ve been thinking about this one for a while. It’s harder than it sounds, because to be perfectly honest, season 3 was a giant spiral downward in my opinion. And honestly, Rip was never really the problem. While Season 3 did take the character in directions that I’m not fond of, I could mostly see how his arc fit together. That’s more than I can say for almost every other character.
If I were going to fix season 3, I’d start with asking the writers to actually prioritize characterization again. We can keep a lot of the wackiness, but just please also remember that Sara is a very competent Captain with a crew that actually does give a shit about the timeline, and while they sometimes get carried away or make mistakes, they generally are good people who are trying to make a positive difference.
And you know, shit or get off the pot when it comes to the Time Bureau. Are they Rip’s second shot? Or are they the fascists that the Legends called them in Zari? And IF they’re the fascists that we saw in Zari’s episode, then why the hell are the Legends perfectly happy to turn Rip over to them and ignore what they’re doing, just because they got free passage in exchange?
Are the Legends supposed to be okay with fascists just because the fascists are no longer directly opposing THEM? And really, should Sara be that okay with dating one?
When it comes to Rip’s arc in particular, I don’t actually hate most of it. Return of the Mack was actually very good, in my opinion. The idea that Rip would take a huge gamble to stop something he sees as a massive threat is not too surprising to me. And the idea that he’d maneuver the Legends out of the way in order to protect them, but also keep them from interfering, also makes a lot of sense to me.
I do think an in character Rip would show a bit more sorrow and regret for the loss of the other Bureau agents. I think he still would have led that mission (and Bennett even said that Rip had gotten authorization for the mission, so it’s not like he unilaterally decided to sacrifice them), but when I remember how Rip reacted to Carter and Leonard’s deaths in season one, or to almost causing Jax’s death, I think he would show his regret more. But then, I can also see why he’d keep it private. And the Rip we saw later, with Wally, sheepish and accepting of Ava and Sara’s mistrust, but still trying to help. That’s the Rip I recognize.
The ONE point of season 3 that I really think needs a fix-it, or at least a clarification, is Rip’s treatment of Ava. Because honestly, there is no way that the man who couldn’t even kill an unarmed Vandal Savage in Blood Ties would be okay with sending TEN SENTIENT BEINGS to their deaths.
Basically, they sacrificed three years of pretty fucking consistent characterization, possibly the MOST consistent characterization, when we look at what season 3 did to the other characters, to give Ava some additional angst. There were other ways to do that.
But it happened. And I am not really a fan of fixits that try to completely wash away a character’s misdeeds, even when we’re talking about my favorite character. He did it. Now let’s make it work.
The way I’d fix it is that I’d give Ava and Rip a second confrontation in which Rip actually gets to explain more of his perspective of Ava and how the models work. Not because he’s right, but so that we can understand.
And this is the explanation that I would use:
Rip is a man who grew up around disembodied AIs. Gideon, while residing in the Waverider, has shown she can act outside of it (at least with regard to the jumpship). She’s also been a figment in his mind when he had been violated by Eobard, and at least if we take her at her word, she was there the whole time. Even when Rip is off the ship.
So taking that into account, I can accept the idea that Rip sees Ava as a single entity: based on her personality and memories. The different versions of Ava that he’s worked with in the past, would be more like disposable bodies, in his perspective, while the true Ava lives on.
I would also want a deeper look at what Ava actually remembers. We know she remembers her childhood, and it seems like she remembers a substantial career with the Time Bureau. So does she have the memories of the previous versions? I feel like she must, since she would have to interact with the same co-workers and they don’t seem like they have any idea that she’s not human.
So my fix it would involve an explicit dialogue that establishes, ideally, that many of the early missions that Ava remembers, likely with near death experiences, are actually the experiences of the prior models. Rip just downloads the core personality into a new body. (a.la WildCATS’s Hadrian 7, whose dynamic with Emp/Jacob Marlowe has a lot of interesting aspects that could be relatable to this situation.)
It still wouldn’t make Rip’s actions okay. He’s still basically using her and manipulating her without her knowledge. But it’s a lot more in keeping with his prior characterization that he’s a creepy manipulator but not someone who sees her as disposable.
(I tend to think from that one deleted Rip-and-Sara scene that this is what we’re SUPPOSED to have gotten from season 3. But I don’t think the show did enough to make it clear, and I resent having to do the brainwork to make it work.)
I also think the advantage to this scene is that it would give them some actual closure before Rip’s “death” (more on that tomorrow. :-D) in the Good, the Bad, and the Cuddly.
#rip hunter#legends of tomorrow#ripweek#this possibly drifts a little into#anti legends of tomorrow#sorry
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All the questions for Alinora and Eleana!!
How did they they meet?
Elaena appeared to Alinora shortly after the grandmaster ofher guild died. She told Alinora that she was never meant to exist; thatbecause of this, she could fight Fate. Alinora was skeptical, but... shewent along with it.
Who developed romantic feelings first?
Hmmm... I feel like, if Alinora/Elaena were to be aship, that Elaena would have developed them while she was keeping watch over Alinora.Which would have made her feel pretty creepy, tbh--though if we're being honestit's probably not the first time she's fell in love with someone after watchingthem from a fair. It's just the first time it was someone she was specificallyasked to watch, and not someone she stumbled upon during her travels.
Getting to know her personally, though, didn't make thosefeelings go away--it made them stronger.
Who is their biggest “shipper?”
Hmmm. I think their friends would be supportive, but becauseneither of them are super close to any of the (yet) they wouldn't have ashipper. Unless, of course, you counted Death's desire for his daughter to behappy.
When did they have their first kiss and under whatcircumstances?
I feel like their first kiss won't happen for a long time. Elaenahas always been a silent watcher, never really interacting with Eldora'speople, except briefly. Hiding her feelings is... second nature. Perhaps itwould happen after Alinora was too reckless. Maybe Alinora would be the one toinstigate it, after she caught feelings?
Who confessed their feelings first?
Alinora, because Elaena would remain silent forever.
What was their first official date?
Proooobably Elaena deciding to show Alinora some of theless-known sights of the Celestial Realms.
How do they feel about double dates/group dates?
I think both of them would prefer solo dates?? But I don'tthink they would turn down a double date if asked by one of their friends. It'sjust not something they would instigate.
What do they do in their down time?
Both of them like high places, so I feel like they wouldenjoy finding a high place to sit on and look down at the world. They're alsoboth avid people watchers, so sitting somewhere populace and watching people,trying to figure out their lives, would appeal. Walks in the park would also bea good one!
What was the first meeting of parents as an official couplelike?
Very nervewracking, since Death is Elaena's father! Alinorawould be super nervous, but he's fond of her, so it would go well. Elaena wouldwant to make a trip to the afterlife to visit Alinora's mother, but I don'tthink Alinora would be comfortable with that. Mostly because she's afraid toface those who beat her to the afterlife.
What was their first fight over and how did they get pastit?
Probably over either Alinora's recklessness or all of thesecrets Elaena has to keep/all the things Elaena doesn't say.
Which one is more easily made jealous?
Elaena.
What is their favourite thing to get to eat?
Elaena always orders something different. She loves tryingall the foods that Eldora has on offer. Still, though, there's a couple ofplaces in Apex she likes better than anything. The first time she takes Alinorathere (oddly nervous), Alinora doesn't recognize the food items. Not even whenthey travel more. But, the food is good, & it's Elaena's comfort food, sothey go there a lot.
Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddlingposition?
Elaena! Not at first, but after Alinora becomes Death'sChampion & isn't as sensitive to temperature, she doesn't even reallyregister the coolness of Elaena's skin. After that, Elaena becomes a lottouchier. She likes pressing herself up against Alinora's back the most, butshe also loves being in her lap.
Are they hand holders?
Yes! They intiate hand-holding pretty equally.
How long do they wait before sleeping together for the firsttime? What’s the circumstances?
It's slow. Elaena isn't a very sexual being. I'm not sure ifshe's ace, though if she is, she's sex-positive, or if her libido is just low.(Or both!) Alinora has her own hangups thanks to the way her last/firstrelationship ended.
Who tops?
Hmmm. Elaena, because she's not as into the sexualpart/doesn't have as much of a libido? She likes giving pleasure more than recieving,anyway. It's difficult for Alinora because she likes to be in control, but theywork something out that works for both of them.
What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?
Uhhh. The worst fight they have is. Probably over akey detail of Elaena's past that she didn't mention. But that's spoilers, so.Second worst fight would be over Alinora's recklessness.
Who does the shopping and the cooking?
I feel like they would do both together? Elaena is not aparticularly talented cook, but she can follow a recipe/instructions. Alinoradoes have some talent in cooking, once she's had some experience with it, soshe usually takes the lead. She also takes the lead in shopping, 'cause she'svery picky/specific about what she wants. Elaena likes watching her, though, soshe tags along.
Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?
Alinora.
Who proposes?
I feel like... due to Elaena being a spirit, she probablywouldn't be super interested in a wedding? She'd be happy to do one if Alinorawanted, but I feel like in this relationship, Alinora wouldn't see the point ofone? Elaena is a spirit, after all. I feel like they would just. Buy rings& call themselves married when they visited Eldora, but wouldn't have anylegal ties.
Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties orseparate?
If they had one, it'd be joined.
Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen orbridesmaids?
Death would officiate. Aishlynn would be maid of honor. Vivianawould be the best man. Asa would be trusted with the rings. Talitha would be abridesmaid, and so would Ava. Lyr would be a groomsman.
Big Ceremony or Small?
Small.
Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?
Yes. Probably to some self-contained pocket world createdjust for the two of them, with the spell being undone when they leave.
Do they have children? How many?
I feel like they would have at least one! Probably not morethan two, though.
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ClexaCon: Day 1
Okay, Let me attempt to do something like organize my thoughts here. Photos will come later, ones that come at all; mostly there are professional photos, videos, and gifs available of the noteworthy moments, and I intend to reblog a lot of those later. In the meantime, my photos are on my phone, and the Tumblr app is eating anything I attempt to post with photos.
So. I’m going to try to do this chronologically because it’s how I tried to organize my brain, and I feel clearer than I have in a while. Panel titles or events in bold. Fandom and personal stuff is included, multishipping probably rampant because I just want my faves happy, alright???
Under the cut because long. Day 1 only because long, and because by time I got near the end of typing this, it was after midnight and I was getting less coherent.
Exploring Gender through Cosplay
As often as I cosplay, mine are fairly casual, and I’d never actually gotten a good chance to attend a cosplay panel of any sort with a clear mind. This was pretty awesome, all the different things you can do to change not only the costume but also your appearance, really make the cosplay work. A lot of the sentiment/message besides the practical application stuff was just “have fun, don’t be an ass, think about the character.” All good advice.
One of the panelists was visibly uncomfortable with his cosplay during the panel. It was understandable, but he looked great anyway and still gave great information and asides and personal experiences, and I’d love to see him do a panel where he’s more comfortable.
One Day at a Time
Okay, so one of the things I LOVE about this con and haven’t seen at the couple others I’ve been to is the intro videos. For each of the big panels, they’ve played a video beforehand, about the pairing or the character. If you’re rusty on the details, it’s a great refresher, and if you love the character or pairing, it’s just fantastic to watch. I believe they included these and the actress reactions in the official videos they’ve been posting. They’re great, super shippy, and I’ve teared up or cried at more than one.
ODAAT is one of the ones that made me teary, because it touched on Elena and her Papi and then how happy she and Syd are and just...
Emotions, y’all. I’ve got them.
Anyway, it was great. Isabella seemed pretty comfortable speaking, very aware of her presence and her platform. Sheridan was a little more like Syd, a little awkward and a lot geeky (like most of my favorite people, let’s be real). My takeaways from this panel were basically just that they both love Schnider and working with his actor, and that I ship Syd and Elena even harder now.
An executive producer got a call during the panel, and Isabella thought maybe it was about being picked up by a different network, but it ended up being Rita Moreno calling in, which was fantastic except how disappointed Isabella was. Not that she was unprofessional or pouty or anything, just there were a few moments of almost being able to FEEL how much this cast wants the show to keep going, and how much they love each other.
Avalance
Omg. I mean, okay, if you’re following me, you should probably go watch both Avalance and Nyssara panel videos. They’ll do a much better job of relaying anything factual than I will, so I’m mostly focusing on my reactions.
My reactions started with that damned intro vid, because holy hell, Sara and Ava are hot, and have awesome chemistry, and they’re both smart and strong and amazing and I am so, so, so not straight.
Uh. Where was I.
Highlights for me, in no particular order.
Okay, usually celebs look like people in real life, like real people or like their characters. Caity Lotz is MORE attractive in person than she is on tv. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE
Jes is kinda amazing as a person and actress and I intend to watch everything she’s in after this weekend. She cares deeply, which I know she shares with Ava, but unlike Ava who hides behind the professional shield, Jes just seemed so warm and real and disbelieving of how much people like her. She was having a very emotional day because she’d lost someone she cared about, and when she shared that, I doubt there was a dry eye in the room. The depth of her feeling was almost palpable.
Jes kept reaching out and touching Caity, who was much more physically reserved just in general. Caity is very obviously more familiar with the con circuit, which doesn’t mean she doesn’t care or anything! Just, how many of these could any living person do while still caring deeply and genuinely about every person they talk to? I suspect people have to distance themselves some eventually. Caity wasn’t cold, just more reserved.
Katrina interrupting was the best thing ever. It’s been giffed already. Go find it.
I loved hearing about the tango, about navigating a situation where there are two women who naturally want to take the lead. The lines blurred between where they were talking about themselves as actresses navigating a scene and their characters as people navigating a relationship, and it felt very real and lovely. Hilarious, too, because of course everyone in the Arrowverse (excuse me, Beeboverse) is gorgeous AND smart AND funny.
I’m glad they’re not really broken up I guess? The actresses seemed a little unsure because they filmed a lot of different takes with some differing implications, but they’re not on board with the “on again, off again” thing any more than I am, which is good. On is good.
End of the panel, people sitting behind us (oh! chronological order! I made a friend waiting in line for the ODAAT panel and we’ve mostly stuck together this weekend. She’s not LGBT and hasn’t watched any of the shows but she loves PEOPLE and is trying to learn and has had a lot of cool life experiences. Anyway. If I say “we” or “us” I probably mean me and friend, unless otherwise specified.)
Uh. Right. So. The people sitting behind us were like, “Hey, do you two want tickets to Cocktails for Change?” At first I thought she was trying to sell them, and I already knew I couldn’t afford that, just like I couldn’t afford the Caity/Jes/Katrina photo op I wanted (not complaint, just statement of fact! I got to go and I got to buy the photo op with Caity and I got a hotel room for a couple nights). Then she clarifies that she and her person (I’m gonna go with that when relationship isn’t clear. But oh, the number of happy wlw couples there was just amazing, and at some point I defaulted to assuming anyone there together was together, which wasn’t accurate, but it’s what I was seeing and delighting in and WE NEED MORE REPRESENTATION and omg keep a single train of thought, Kita). The two of them had bought two extra tickets they couldn’t use, couldn’t refund, and hadn’t been able to sell, so they were offering them to us so that somebody would enjoy them.
OMG. Like, who does that? What level of awesomeness to gift two separate $250 tickets to complete strangers??
I helped friend navigate the transfer process and helped her create an eventbrite account, and then we had the tickets, at which point I actually believe it was happening. And then
AND THEN
Because clearly that wasn’t enough
they said “oh, we can’t make the trio photo op today, do you want it?”
Do
Do I
DO I
I still can’t believe they were for real, with that level of awesome. I checked like probably way too many times to make sure they were SURE because
yeah. Made my entire year, at minimum.
Photo Ops
Got the photo op with Caity first. I’ll do pics separately after I scan them; they’re particularly glossy or something and my cell phone is doing a horrible job. So I go in dressed in my femme Snart cosplay, have enough presence of mind to ask (or point? I may have only managed pointing) to stand on her right side because I wanted to be able to hold the cold gun in my right hand.
“Hey, Cold,” she said to me.
HEY COLD
SHE RECOGNIZED WHO I WAS DRESSED AS OMGGGGGG
and did I mention fucking gorgeous beyond belief and amazing to boot?
Anyway. She’s also smiling much bigger in my pic with just her than in the next one, when I didn’t have my gun, and I like to think it’s because she still thinks fondly of snart. Captain canary 4eva. Another thing on Saturday I’ll get to in my next post, equally small but equally “omg yessss she still ships it” to my mildly obsessed brain.
Obviously, after they took the pic, I walked blindly in the wrong direction and would’ve walked smack into the makeshift wall if the volunteers hadn’t steered me in the right direction. I don’t usually get star struck, but if it was going to happen, it was going to be with Caity Lotz, so it wasn’t actually a surprise.
Round two, trio photo, and I ended up between Caity and Katrina, who draped herself on my shoulder as she often does for pics. I’ll get to Katrina more for Day 2, but she just seemed very at ease, maybe the most comfortable person in any given room.
After photo ops I practically ran back to my car while still trying to recover, checked into and got settled into my hotel room, changed shoes (omg, as good as those boots are for a couple hours, after ten hours and two miles and lots of standing, my feet STILL hurt day+ later), and then headed back to the venue.
Cocktails for Change
So this was cool just to exist in a room with the celebrities (the theory behind the event and the price tag being you get to interact). We (friend and the people who gave us the tickets and a 5th potential friend we picked up while waiting in line) got to talk to an actress from Wynona (which I apparently badly need to watch. my to-watch list doubled this weekend), and then friend got Jes to agree to come over. That made me love Jes even more because her handlers kept trying to get her to go a different direction after she talked to one table for like half of the time, and Jes pointed at our table, strong and confident and I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE I SAID I WOULD.
I mean, idk what she actually said, but that was her not-subtle body language.
It had to be terribly frustrating for the handlers, who, even though they only got her to three tables total, did a better job with her than they did with most of the celebs. However, I wanted to applaud Jes.
Most of the celebs kept to themselves, or to their partners. Dot was like 5 feet from me for a good 20 minutes, and my inner gleek was ecstatic. Amber Benson was only a few feet farther for about the same amount of time. For her, I actually tried to go say hi, but she was absorbed in conversation with someone else and I didn’t want to interrupt. We made eye contact, though, so that was cool. Katrina, meanwhile, kinda starting circling and then was just like “Nah,” and she went and sprawled on a chair at the side of the room, again the most comfortable looking person there, and just let everyone come to her. Which, honestly, probably would be my recommendation if they change things for this event next year. Clearly, steering the talent to different tables isn’t working, so maybe steer the attendees instead.
Still, it was awesome, and I went back to my room and freaked out about OMG HOW IS MY LIFE THIS AWESOME before crashing hard.
Which I’m gonna do again now. Day 2 post tomorrowish.
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New Tricks
Rip settles back onto the Waverider trying to find his place once more while dealing with new abilities, the huge blank space in his memory, people he doesn't know on his ship and an overprotective AI who is determined he will not be lost like that ever again. Sequel to Home
*********************************************
Sara walked into the offices of the Time Bureau not sure how this conversation was going to go but it wasn’t like she could avoid it much longer. Reaching the Director’s office, she took a moment to check her hair and make-up before walking straight in, she never knocked.
Ava didn’t look up, but Sara caught her checking the reflection in the glass paperweight sitting on her desk.
“You’re early,” Ava noted without turning, obviously still not happy about their last conversation.
Sara shrugged, “Just thought I’d make sure we’re still having dinner tonight. If not, I have time to catch a movie.”
Ava turned and folded her arms, “Before we decide that why don’t you tell me why I’m not being given access to talk to our former Director? Why I’m not getting to make sure his amnesia isn’t another lie from the man who hired people to pretend to be my family, so I wouldn’t find out who I truly am?”
“Rip is under Gideon’s care,” Sara noted, folding her arms mirroring Ava, “If you want to try and talk her into letting him off the ship, have fun.”
Ava grimaced, “Sara…”
“He has no idea who you are,” Sara continued, “He has no idea about the Time Bureau or that he started it. The Rip you remember is not the man he is now. That Rip is gone, more than likely forever.”
Ava rolled her eyes, “You’ve told me that but we both know he lies.”
Sara sighed, “I know this is hard to believe but this is me telling you. He has no memory of anything past the day we were in New York, six months after we stopped Vandal Savage. This is the Rip I knew back then.”
“I still want to talk to him,” Ava stated, standing with a stubborn frown on her face, “Now.”
Sara grimaced, “That depends.”
“On what?”
“On Gideon agreeing,” Sara shrugged before adding, “And if he’s awake at the moment.”
Confusion covered Ava’s face which Sara didn’t blame her for. Rip had been an insomniac since Sara had known him, almost every time she’d been unable to sleep she found he was up as well. But his new abilities were, according to Gideon, taking time to integrate with his system fully and used up a lot of energy. This meant Rip currently slept a lot and ate much more than any of them had ever seen him eat since they’d met him.
They’d agreed to keep the fact Rip could now manipulate time from the Bureau, even if it took some persuading to get Nate to agree. Sara trusted Ava but didn’t know who she would be obligated to share the information with.
They had no idea how powerful Rip was, so far all he’d done was stop the knife on instinct and was smashing then re-forming mugs in the kitchen. Gideon wanted time to study and work out a training programme before he did anything big, Rip had rolled his eyes but agreed.
“I don’t care what Gideon says,” Ava stated coldly, “If Rip is conscious then I’m talking to him.”
“You have to stop that,” Ray cried, snatching his precious NASA mug off the bench in front of Rip once it had been returned to its normal state.
Rip sighed, “Until Gideon finishes her tests, this is all she’ll agree to let me do.”
“Because we do not want to accidentally destroy the Waverider,” Gideon spoke up.
Looking up Rip smiled fondly, “I know.”
“Gideon, can you hurry up?” Ray asked, “We could end up with no mugs.”
“I am continuing my scans and tests on Captain Hunter,” Gideon replied, “I wish to have a full week’s worth of data before testing his new gifts on anything more. It means I have a baseline to check all the results against.”
Rip rolled his eyes but remained silent as he took a hold of one of the other mugs sitting there and smashed it on the counter. Concentrating on the shards he reconstituted the mug once more.
Ray shook his head, “Explain to me what you’re doing?”
“I’m reversing time surrounding the mug so that it returns to the form it had before I smashed it,” Rip explained, “I think, if Gideon would let me, I could actually slow time around a person. Everyone to them would look like they’re moving as fast as a speedster, while the person would appear to be frozen to the outside world.”
Smiling Ray nodded, “That sounds so cool.”
“I know,” Rip replied before yawning.
Ray chuckled checking his watch, “That’s six hours today, Rip. It’s your current record.”
Rolling his eyes Rip looked up when he heard Mick step inside the room, stopping the small rubber ball the man threw at him inches from his face where it hung frozen.
“Nice catch,” Mick noted as he headed to the fridge, pulling out the carton of fresh orange juice.
Ray caught the smile on Rip’s face before he stepped back and touched the ball to shift its trajectory slightly. He released the ball which hit off the wall, Mick’s head, the ceiling then dropped into the mug Ray was still holding.
With a smirk Rip left the kitchen.
Ray tossed the ball back to Mick who was trying to look annoyed, but his amusement was clear to see. Ray had noticed it over the past few days, when Rip was awake, that the former Time Master seemed to have developed a sense of humour he’d never displayed before.
It was like the burdens he’d carried no longer weighed on him the way they once had.
“Captain, I ask again that you limit the uses of your new abilities,” Gideon said as Rip walked to his room to lie down again, “And not act like a child.”
“Mick threw the ball at me,” Rip noted.
“At my request so I could test your response,” Gideon replied.
Rip rolled his eyes, “And I stopped it. I just used a little geometry to get it into the mug by moving it before I let it go.”
Her silence spoke volumes of disapproval, Rip stalled in the corridor and folded his arms across his chest waiting.
“I only wish to ensure that you are safe, Captain,” Gideon reminded him, “These abilities are new and untested. This is a dangerous time.”
After checking the corridor to ensure he was alone Rip stepped forward and entered her matrix so that they were face to face. Gideon’s disapproval was written all over her face, her eyes dark as she stared at him.
“I’m sorry I’m being difficult,” Rip told her sincerely, “I just…you know I don’t like sitting about doing nothing. I want to test what this is and I want to get back to work.”
Gideon stepped forward wrapping her arms around his waist, “I know,” she breathed softly, “But you know that everything I am doing is to ensure that you and the other members of the crew are safe.”
Pressing a kiss to her temple Rip whispered, “I do,” he yawned, “I need to sleep again.”
Gideon held onto him for a moment longer, releasing him a frown covered her face suddenly, “Captain Lance has returned to the ship.”
“Already?” Rip asked, “I thought she was out all night.”
Gideon’s frown deepened, “She has brought someone who wishes to speak with you. I will advise that you need to rest.”
“No,” Rip told her, “It’s alright, Gideon. I’m assuming this is someone I’m meant to know.”
She nodded.
“And you’re still not telling me anything,” he grimaced, slightly annoyed that they weren’t giving him any information on the time he’d lost at the moment, “Okay, tell Sara I’ll meet them on the bridge in a few minutes.”
Taking a breath Rip returned to the corridor, wondering briefly if he could move to another room on the ship while in Gideon’s matrix.
That was an experiment for another day.
Sara leaned against Gideon’s console as Ava stood stiffly, her arms crossed waiting. After a few minutes the door opened, and Rip walked in. Sara watched him intently as his eyes settled on Ava for a moment before he turned to Sara.
“I thought you were out for the night?” he asked.
Sara shrugged as Ava moved to Rip, she stared at him intently while he looked back at her and finally he sighed.
“I’m assuming I’m meant to know who you are,” he stated, “But I don’t.”
Ava shook her head, “And I’m supposed to believe you this time?”
“I honestly don’t care if you do,” Rip shrugged before turning back to Sara, “Are we finished here? I really need to get some sleep.”
Sara nodded, she knew if he didn’t rest Gideon would make sure they knew about it. Their AI had been protective of Rip before this but now was constantly watching him to make sure he didn’t get so much as a papercut. He gave her a quick nod back before glancing at Ava for a second, still no recognition in his eyes, and leaving them alone again.
“Well?” Sara asked.
Ava frowned, “I don’t know.”
“We haven’t given him any information about what happened since he first touched the core,” Sara explained, “He has no idea about the Time Bureau or you. We’ll tell him soon but right now Gideon believes it best to not let him know everything.”
“I’m still not convinced he doesn’t already,” Ava noted.
“It is however the truth, Miss Sharpe,” Gideon stated her hologram appearing, making Sara wince at the deliberate omission of Ava’s title, “Captain Hunter’s last memory before waking within the medical bay is of touching the core six months after we stopped Vandal Savage.”
Ava folded her arms and turned to Gideon, “And you know he’s not lying to you?”
“I am not going to dignify that with an answer,” Gideon replied, her hologram shutting down.
Sara sighed, “So, are we going for dinner?”
*********************************************
Rip made himself some tea to go with his lunch and took a seat to eat. The ship was currently berthed on some waste ground just outside Central City allowing the team to visit their family and friends. This left him alone on the Waverider, except for one other person.
“Hi,” Zari appeared in the doorway, “Gideon said you needed some company.”
Rip frowned, “Gideon, didn’t you once spend an hour telling me that you were perfectly good company for me?”
“I merely thought now would be a good time for you and Miss Tomaz to get to know one another,” Gideon replied airily, “As you did not know one another previously.”
Zari chuckled, “Well I’m hungry so I may as well join you for lunch, if you don’t mind?”
“Of course not, you’re more than welcome,” Rip told her.
Giving him a quick smile Zari had Gideon fix a sandwich for her before she took the seat across from Rip. They sat in silence eating their respective meals, Rip watching the woman sitting there hoping for some tiny crumb of memory of her but as usual there was nothing.
“Is there a reason you’re not visiting people while we’re here?” Rip asked softly.
Zari smiled slightly, “Not from this time.”
“Ah,” Rip murmured.
“Even then I don’t have anyone other than the team,” she shrugged.
Rip winced, “I know how that feels. So,” he changed the subject, “Tell me how you got the chance to meet Gideon face to face. Because it is an experience.”
Zari laughed, “That’s very true.”
“You both know I can hear you,” Gideon spoke up.
Rip smirked, “Really, Gideon. Anyone would think you don’t like being talked about.”
“Do you wish your showers to be warm for the next month, Captain?” Gideon asked sweetly.
Laughing Rip saw Zari staring at him in astonishment.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“I’ve just…” Zari shook her head, “Gideon isn’t like this with any of us.”
Rip smiled, “Well, Gideon and I have been together a long time.”
Zari laughed before leaning back in her chair and told him how she’d met Gideon’s human form. Rip chuckled, as he listened to the story.
“What about you?” Zari asked, “When did you first meet her?”
“About a year after I was first assigned to the Waverider,” Rip replied, “I was stabbed during a mission. There was poison on the blade and when I managed to make it back…”
“Barely,” Gideon spoke up.
Rip ignored her, “Gideon had to put me in an induced coma while she treated my injuries. I will admit it did scare the hell out of me when I found this strange woman sitting in my seat in the parlour.”
Zari laughed, “I had the same reaction.”
“I am offended that you both feel that way,” Gideon spoke up.
“You know I’m always happy to see you now I know who you are,” Rip replied, “I just wasn’t expecting it at the time.”
Chewing her lip for a moment Zari asked, “You didn’t know that…”
Rip shook his head, “I don’t know if it’s something that wasn’t talked about, if the other AI’s never did it or if only Gideon can. Which frankly wouldn’t surprise me.”
“She is unique,” Zari noted.
A smile touched Rip’s lips, “Yes, she is.”
Walking slowly through the corridors of his ship Rip briefly thought about just leaving everyone here and going off on his own with Gideon.
But he knew he couldn’t.
Although no one would tell him anything yet about the time he was missing, which was exceedingly frustrating, Rip knew there was still work to be done.
With nothing else in his life helping keep time safe was the one thing he could do.
Reaching the engine room, he stepped inside.
“Captain?” Gideon’s concerned voice came.
He smiled at her concern, “I’m just going to do some maintenance,” he assured her, “I am not sitting around doing nothing any longer. But,” he added, “I won’t touch the time drive. I promise.”
“Very well, Captain,” Gideon replied, “There is plenty for you to work on.”
Finding the spare set of tools sitting Rip settled down to work. It was amazing how much it settled him, and it was the most relaxed he’d felt for the past few days. He chatted with Gideon, the way they always would during maintenance, with her guiding him through what was required. Before he realised several hours had passed and Rip felt his eyes begin to close.
“Rip,” Gideon said softly, “You require rest.”
Taking a long slow breath, he nodded, “That sounds like a good idea.”
“The engines feel much better, Captain,” Gideon told him, “It has been far too long since you worked on my systems.”
Resting his head against the bulkhead for a moment, Rip smiled.
“Return to your room and rest,” Gideon said before adding softly, “I can visit your dreams if you wish?”
Rip nodded, “That would be nice.”
***********************************************
“I believe that this is the best course of action,” Gideon stated, “Captain Hunter will begin to investigate himself if you do not give him the information.”
Sara frowned leaning back in her chair in the kitchen, “Are you sure? It could be dangerous telling Rip about what happened with the Legion, the Spear, the Bureau and Mallus. Especially if he loses his temper, considering his new powers.”
“It could be,” Gideon agreed, “But I know Captain Hunter and I know it is only because his energy has been depleted by these new abilities that he hasn’t pushed yet. Now his body is beginning to become accustomed to its new situation, and his strength is returning, he will begin demanding answers.”
Sara grimaced.
“I understand you do not wish to revisit the arguments you had,” Gideon said softly, “But this is something you cannot hide from Captain Hunter.”
“I know,” Sara winced
“If he orders me to I will provide him with the information,” Gideon reminded Sara, “He is my Captain.”
“Okay,” Sara sighed, “When he’s awake we will tell him everything.”
“A good decision, Captain Lance.”
Gideon sat at her Captain’s side as he watched the memory of his wife and little boy dancing along to music. Rip’s head dropped onto her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist.
“Did I ever get past this?” Rip whispered sadly.
Gently stroking her fingers through his hair, Gideon sighed softly, “Your love for them will never fade but you found a way to live for them.”
“Sometimes I feel like I have,” he murmured, “But other times it’s like I can’t see anything beyond it.”
Gideon continued the comforting touches, “I know.”
“When I left,” Rip looked up into her eyes, “How did I get anything done without you?”
She laughed softly, “My opinion on that is not something you want to hear.”
Rip chuckled, resting his hand on her cheek before touching his forehead to hers, “Gideon. I don’t know what it was, but I want you to know I’m sorry for anything I did that hurt you.”
Taking his face in her hands, Gideon placed a soft kiss on his forehead, “I know.”
Pulling Gideon to him Rip hugged her tightly, holding onto his best friend. When they parted Gideon took his hand as they turned to look out the window at the temporal zone that had taken the place of Jonas and Miranda.
“Sara is going to fill in the missing time when you waken,” Gideon told him, “And I need you to promise me one thing.”
Suspicion covered his face, “What?”
“That, no matter what you hear, you try not get upset or angry,” Gideon replied, “Your gifts are new and I fear that negative emotions may make them unstable.”
“So why tell me?”
Gideon shrugged, “Because I know you. I know that soon you will become impatient and you will demand the answers from me.”
Rip winced slightly.
“Promise me?” Gideon asked again.
“I promise.”
Giving him a proud smile, Gideon rested her head against his shoulder to watch the lights outside.
“Are you sure you don’t want something to drink?” Sara asked.
Letting out an annoyed sigh Rip sent her a frown, “No more stalling, Sara. Just tell me what I’ve missed.”
Looking at Ray, who had agreed to join her in giving Rip the story, Sara took a deep breath.
“Okay,” she said, “So you touched the core…”
Rip listened as Sara explained the time he was missing, suddenly he frowned, “Hold on, you’re telling me that I became a film student.”
“Drug taking film student,” Ray noted.
Shrugging Rip mused over this, “And my movie was about us?”
“I read it,” Ray told him, “It was actually quite good.”
Rip frowned for a moment before asking, “So, what happened? I’m assuming my memories returned at some point.”
Sara and Ray winced before she continued the story.
“Wait,” Rip stopped them again, “My memory was returned using one of my back-ups?”
“According to Gideon,” Sara replied.
Musing Rip began to pace, “It finally makes sense.”
“What?” Sara asked confused.
“Sense how?” Ray added.
Rip turned to them, “It was theory Miranda and I had back when we were training. We were studying the time core, and everybody always said to look at it all we wanted just don’t touch…”
“And you wanted to know what would happen if you touched,” Ray grinned.
Shrugging Rip continued, “We developed a theory that if you touched the core then you would be scattered through time,”
“Which you proved,” Sara noted.
Rip nodded, “Miranda came up with the idea that the energy could possibly do more. She theorised that whoever touched the core would have a new set of memories overwrite the real ones of the subject as a camouflage.”
“Which is exactly what happened,” Sara reminded him.
Ray leaned back chewing his lips for a moment, “Did she have any idea how to return the memories?”
“We discussed this for hours,” Rip sighed softly, “Almost every night for weeks.”
Sara gave a small chuckle, “That was your pillow talk?”
“Miranda theorised that connecting to the core energy a second time,” Rip ignored her, “Would restore the subject’s memories.”
“What about the other personality?” Ray asked thoughtfully.
Rip shrugged, “It was only a theory, but all our calculations showed that the memories from the overwritten personality would be integrated into the subjects.”
Ray’s hand pressed to his forehead as realisation struck him, “But your original memories…”
“Precisely.”
“What?” Sara demanded.
Rip sighed slightly before explaining, “My original memories were not returned to me naturally. The back-up was like a software patch. So, touching the core energy for the second time meant my mind reset to when I first touched it, like a computer being returned to factory settings.” He frowned suddenly as the realisation hit him, “That means I’m never getting my memories back.”
“Rip?” Sara asked concerned.
He shook his head, “I just need a minute.”
Walking out he headed to his room, entered Gideon’s matrix and moved into her arms.
Gideon hugged her Captain tightly, feeling the trembles of emotion running through him.
“I’m never going to know why I left,” Rip sighed, “Never going to know why I did everything I did.”
“Everything you did, everything you said was for one purpose,” Gideon told him, “To protect the people on this ship and to protect time, just as you always have. You sacrificed the bond with the people that you held dear to do just that.”
“But…”
“No, Rip,” Gideon cut him off, “I will not allow you to think anything else. Yes, the crew were angry at you. Miss Lance argued with you because she has not been trained the way you were. Her instincts are different and in certain matters you clashed because you forgot that. You forgot she could not sense what you could. Unfortunately, they also forgot your skills and knowledge surpassed theirs regarding time.”
Sighing he stepped back, “I’ll never know why you’re upset with me.”
Gideon grimaced slightly, “I’m not upset with you, Rip. I was annoyed at the situation and that you deemed it necessary for us to be apart.”
Letting out a long sigh Rip rested his forehead against hers.
“Are you ready to return and listen to what happened during the rest of the period you are missing?” Gideon asked.
Shaking his head Rip continued to hold her. Gideon continued to gently slide her fingers through his hair soothingly.
“Miss Lance is looking for you,” Gideon said after several minutes.
Rip let out a long breath, “I should go back.”
“We can talk again afterwards,” Gideon assured him, “Whatever you need.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Thank you.”
Sara found Rip sitting in the parlour, his legs stretched out as he stared into space. After they finished telling him everything, Rip had stood silently for several minutes before advising he needed some time to think and disappearing. She left him for two hours, making sure everyone else gave him some space as well.”
“Hey,” she said offering him a mug of tea, “Thought you might need this.”
Rip nodded taking the mug, hugging it close to him like a shield.
“Are you okay?” Sara asked taking the other seat.
Rip shrugged, “Not too sure about that. After everything you told me, I’m trying to sort it out but I have no context for my choices. My mind is spinning to be honest trying to work it all out.”
“I can understand that,” she nodded, “And I’ve been in your mind. It’s a scary place.”
He chuckled softly.
“One thing I have wanted to know since then,” Sara said thoughtfully, “That I never got a chance to ask before now.”
“Which is?”
“Where did you come up with the human version of Gideon?” she demanded with an amused grin, before assuring “Not that I was complaining because she was hot but…”
Rip laughed at her expression when she trailed off, “I didn’t. That’s the form she chose.”
“What?”
Rip shrugged, “It’s how she decided she wishes to look to us.”
Sara let out small ‘huh’ sound as she leaned back in thought.
“Everything you told me about the time I lost, there is one thing I know for certain,” Rip said softly, intensity filling his voice. “I was always taking her back.”
Confused at the change of topic, Sara asked, “What?”
Focussing on her Rip noted, “Look around this room, look at the library. Everything is mine, all the things I collected across the years, the chair Miranda gave me just after we married. When I worked in this Time Bureau, I left everything onboard. I was not planning on leaving Gideon with you once Mallus was defeated.”
Sara shrugged, “I don’t…”
“I let you borrow the Waverider,” Rip continued, “You were never keeping her.”
“What do we do now?” Sara asked softly, unsure what way he would go only knowing for sure that Gideon would side with him.
Rip took a drink of his tea, “Well I’m not going anywhere, and I get bored easily, so I may as well allow your team to stick around.”
*********************************************
Rip was restless.
Being told about his failures hadn’t exactly made him feel any better about the time he couldn’t remember and now knew he never would. He wanted to know more about this Time Bureau he had created but before that he wanted to check some information about Mallus. He was sure he had books onboard that would give him some details but hadn’t been able to find them in his room.
Heading to the library he found Dr Heywood sitting there reading. Deciding not to bother the other man, since every interaction they’d had so far had an underlying hostility to it, Rip started to scan the shelves finding someone had changed how he’d arranged them. Pulling a few books out he placed them on the table before moving to check another shelf.
“I have system here,” the other man spoke up suddenly, “Don’t mess with it.”
Knowing he was being a little childish, Rip retorted, “Almost everything in here belongs to me, Dr Heywood as does the Waverider. I suggest you remember that.”
“Not anymore,” Nate retorted, “You’re only here because Sara feels guilty. After everything you did to us, personally I would have turned you over to the Bureau and let them experiment on you.”
“This will always be my ship,” Rip replied sharply, “And it would be best for you to remember that or I will remove you.”
Standing Nate turned his body to steel, “Try it.”
Rip’s dark stare didn’t waver, “Gideon.”
Surprise covered Nate’s face when a forcefield surrounded him before he glared at Rip, “Zari, can reprogramme the computer you think is under your control.”
“Never,” Rip’s voice became quiet and cold, “Treat Gideon with anything other than respect. She is not a computer. She is a sophisticated AI with emotional capabilities beyond your understanding.”
“What the hell is going on?” Sara appeared in the doorway before Nate could retort.
Rip turned to her, “If you wish your people to remain on my ship, Sara, teach them some manners.”
Before she could reply he picked up his books and left.
Sara stared at Nate, “What were you thinking?”
“He started it,” Nate replied bouncing off the forcefield still surrounding him, “Gideon, drop the shield.”
“Captain Hunter has not ordered me to do so,” Gideon replied sweetly.
Sara forced a smile off her face, “Gideon, if you would? I’ll square it with Rip.”
“Very well, Captain Lance,” Gideon said, and the shield disappeared.
Nate let out a huff of annoyance and sat down again, “He came in and started messing with my library.”
“Look, I know you and Rip have never been friends, but you have to learn to get along with him,” she said, “The Waverider is his and as you saw Gideon will follow his commands.”
“Or we could just tell the Bureau everything and let them deal with him.”
Sara rolled her eyes, “Firstly, he hasn’t done anything. Not to mention you do remember he escaped the last time he was in custody and this time, he has powers.”
Nate let out a snort, “I’m sure they’ll know how to contain him once they know how dangerous he might be.”
Taking a breath Sara stared at him, “Rip was always dangerous, frankly I think he’s more stable now than he was when he recruited us,” she sighed, “His memories of what happened are never coming back. The Rip we have now is the man who has just come to terms with losing his family, just stopped Vandal Savage a few months ago and lost everything he believed in at the same time. When you first met Rip he was under Thawne’s influence, so you never got to meet the version Mick, Ray and I knew. When he came back he was traumatised by everything he did during that time and what was done to him. Did you ever think about that?”
Nate frowned.
“I know what happened with the Bureau was maddening but the person who did that, who you’re angry with is gone,” Sara said, “In some ways, he never existed.”
“You have no idea, Sara,” Nata snapped, “It’s because of Rip my grandfather is dead. It’s his fault, and that was before the memory issue. Rip enlisted my grandfather to protect the spear and took him from my dad. My family was broken because of him.”
Before she could say anything else he walked out.
Letting out a long sigh Sara leaned against the desk, “Why did you call me to interfere, Gideon?”
“To ensure this argument did not devolve further,” Gideon replied, “Captain Hunter is currently in an extremely emotional and vulnerable place, if his disagreement with Dr Heywood continued I believe Captain Hunter would have thrown him off the ship. Along with anyone who argued against it.”
*********************************************
“Captain, do not get overexcited,” Gideon scolded when Rip bounced while stepping off the ship into the forest they’d landed in before adding, “That goes for you too, Dr Palmer.”
Ray gave a slight pout, “Come on, Gideon. We’re finally testing Rip’s abilities. It’s going to be fun.”
Sara rolled her eyes as she followed them down, “I agree with Gideon. Let’s not get carried away. We follow the plan Gideon has put together.”
Rip and Ray exchanged an amused look before they continued to the test site. Zari and Mick appeared having finished setting up the sensors Gideon had them create for the tests.
“Okay,” Zari took over checking the tablet in her hands having volunteered to oversee the tests, “Rip if you will take your place we’ll get started.”
He nodded and entered the small testing area they’d set up.
“Alright,” Zari said, “Mick, when you’re ready.”
With a grin Mick pulled out several small rubber balls, without warning he started to throw them. Rip managed to stop several, wincing as most managed to get through hitting him on the arms and body.
“Okay,” Zari smiled as Sara and Ray retrieved the balls lying about for Mick who was grinning, “We’ll try that again.”
“Captain,” Gideon said in his ear, “You are trying to stop each individual ball. Perhaps a new tactic this time.”
Rip nodded, “Ready when you are.”
Mick started to throw the balls again, but this time Rip slowed time just in front of him catching all the balls before allowing them to drop to the ground.
“Much better, Captain,” Gideon congratulated him, “Now, repeat it.”
For the next twenty minutes Sara, Ray and Mick threw the balls at him from several angles. Each time they went through the exercise Rip learned to adjust his tactics and by the end of it had managed to stop all the balls five times in a row.
“Excellent, Captain,” Gideon told him, “I believe it is time to move to the second phase of our testing.”
Rip nodded, “Okay. I will point out I’m not exactly thrilled by this test.”
“The medical bay is on stand-by,” Gideon reminded him, “Or are you afraid, Captain?”
“Goading me isn’t going to work, Gideon,” Rip stated, stepping back into the middle of the sensors.
“Of course not, Captain.”
Rip took a breath as Mick aimed the Heatgun at him.
Gideon finished her scans.
“Well?” Sara demanded before Rip could.
“All results show within the baseline,” Gideon assured them, “There is no drop in the level of the time energy and there appears to be no negative effects from using your new powers upon your body. How do you feel, Captain?”
Rip smiled, “I’m hungry, and tired.”
“If you come to the kitchen I shall make you something to eat,” Gideon told him, “Then you can rest for a few hours.”
Rip turned to Sara, “Are you coming for something to eat?”
“I have a date,” Sara replied.
“Enjoy yourself,” Rip told her, “And I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Heading out the infirmary Rip headed to get something to eat. Gideon had made something nutritious for him, she currently had him on a strict diet, although he knew that once he finished then she would allow him dessert. Sitting alone to eat, Rip smiled when Gideon started playing some music for him. For a few minutes it was just like the old days.
When he finished eating Rip walked towards his room, he needed to rest after the tests they’d done that day. The moment he reached it, Rip practically fell onto his bed and quickly slipped into unconsciousness.
Gideon took a seat beside her Captain and slid her hand into his, “I am very proud of you, Rip.”
“For what?” he asked confused, “Training is something I know how to do. Spent most of my childhood doing it in one form or another.”
She squeezed his hand and leaned against him, “But you followed my test plan and did not insist on doing more than I set out for you. I know how you always pushed. Always wanting to do more.”
Rip laughed, “I know better these days than to argue with you.”
Gideon smiled, “Well it’s about time.”
They sat in silence for a while before Gideon moved away and stood, “You need to rest properly, Captain. My presence here does not allow that.”
“Wait,” he stood, catching her arms, “You would only ever come to me like this when I was caught in nightmares but, since I woke in the infirmary, you’re here almost every night. What changed?”
Gideon looked up at him, “I lost you. We were together for a long time and then you were gone. My Captain, who made me part of his family and not just the AI he used for missions. I was less without you and now you are with me once more.”
Rip rested his forehead against hers, “We’re connected now. I will never leave you again.”
Gideon smiled softly, remembering a moment together that he never would, “Sleep well, Rip. I am watching over you.”
*********************************************
Author’s Note: Hope you enjoyed.
I aim to write more for this universe as Rip and John are still to meet up.
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If you wanna get away from that clone talk you could do a lil headcanon on the first time Sara takes Ava to meet her friends/family (ignoring that theyre dead) in Star City
okay so for the purposes of this thought experiment i am going to assume everyone is still alive, but i’ll start with the ppl who ACTUALLY are. let’s imagine we’re at some event where everyone is there idk
oliver: okay so here’s the thing. ava’s been in star city since 2013. (or some version of her but this is not the ask for clone stuff) so she’s been around for all his shenanigans, but she hasn’t been able to interact at all. anyway she definitely has Opinions about the arrow and his time as mayor and everything and then it’s compounded by him being sara’s ex anyway she just reverts to like. business ava and is super formal and she shakes his hand so firmly that he’s a little shook afterwards. oliver is suspicious and not entirely sure she’s right for sara and then away from him she is talking just to sara and she’s like. smiling and giggling and he sees how soft she is and how soft sara is around her and he talks to sara and is like. okay yeah i approve and sara is like do you think i care if you approve and oliver is like. no. and sara’s like. but thank you
felicity: my beautiful long lost ship she is probably as flustered around ava as she is around any accomplished woman and she probably accidentally mentions the clone thing and then she’s just like. fuck i’m terrible at this and ava recognises a kindred spirit and manages to let down the business ava wall a bit and be nice and maybe they talk about bureau tech or something. felicity tells sara that ava is cute
who else is even alive??? was sara even really friends with diggle? he just approves of the fact she found someone who can also fight but also kinda look after her and be a grounding influence
i guess her mom is still alive but i cannot remember literally anything about her personality but ava would be the Picture Perfect Girlfriend You Take Home To Your Parents and would avoid any topics that could be potentially controversial and then idk sara starts making vague innuendos just to try to ruffle her feathers but it doesn’t work because today ava is completely composed and nothing can stop her from making a good impression on the one member of her family that is still alive
nyssa: ava is 100% intimidated bc from everything she’s read she seems terrifying but she ends up just being very formal and polite and still kinda cold and after ava is like. she hates me and sara is like. that was nyssa being nice she approves.
bonus: sin is there bc she is a person who exists and she relentlessly teases sara
OKAY NOW THE PEOPLE WHO ARE DEAD AKA THE IMPORTANT PPL GOD I HATE ARROW
laurel: okay so laurel and ava would be such good friends honestly. like it would annoy sara bc she wants ava all for herself but secretly she would be. so happy that they’re getting along. laurel loves her because literally all she ever wanted for sara was for her to be happy and she so obviously is. they exchange phone numbers and ava promises to call to update her on what sara is doing because sara never does that. ava had seen everything laurel had gone through and so is obviously impressed and it makes her feel better about her insecurities bc laurel obviously has them too but she kicks ass.
(in the real timeline, ava kinda.... grieved when laurel died even though she didn’t even know sara and even though she kinda hates her and even though she knows it’s coming)
quentin: god. we were robbed. we were robbed so hard. i’d like to think that. sara told him about ava maybe once like sometime between 3.12 and 3.15 when they were happy. maybe she didn’t even tlak to him maybe she just left him a message like. dad i think i actually. found someone. and she tells him about her and he’s just in shock when he listens to the message bc he kinda assumed she’d be alone as long as she was on the waverider but now she’s found someone and she’s good for her and she’s looking after her and just. gah.
anyway if they actually got to meet, they’d bond over both kinda being in law enforcement. they’d joke about how they’re stuck with a rule breaker like ava. he tells her embarassing kid stories about sara that ava literally never forgets and still brings up 10 years into the relationship. ava would be the same Perfect Girlfriend but maybe more relaxed than with her mom because sara had a better relationship with her dad. when ava walks away he just looks at sara and is like.... i’ve never seen you this happy since the gambit and sara just shrugs and is like. she gets me.
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OC/Author PrideFest Question Mess Part 1
Thanks for the tag @raevenlywrites! I got side tracked working on a cover for a friend, so I haven’t gotten past the first two peeps for giving questions, so I get that. Anyways, here’s me answering your questions and tagging peeps.
Rules I am going with: answer the questions you know or are comfortable sharing, tag others, add a question if you feel like something is missing.
Note: I will be answering in three different posts, one per section, rather than all together because of how many questions there are.
Questions for you:
Introduce yourself! Tell us a little bit about you and what you write
*waves* hi folks, I’m Jaimi. I write a wide variety of stuff, everything from slice of life to fluff to angst, short stories to novels. Whatever my muse doesn’t want to shut up about. Which means I have a lot of WIPs.
I deal with chronic pain, depression, PTSD and caring for ma since her stroke. It makes things complicated at times.
Why do you write LGBT+ characters?
Mostly because I get tired of nothing but stories full of straight people. I realize the market is slowly changing, but change requires peeps writing them to speed it along.
There’s also the fact I was tired of not seeing peeps like myself: nonbinary in some form and ace.
Have you always written LGBT+ characters? If no, what inspired you to start? Is it a deliberate representational choice?
Pretty much. I got in trouble in middle school for refusing to use “it/its” for my non-binary elves and merfolk, which is when I started using “zhe/zher/zhers” by taking “he/his” and “she/her” and shifting it a bit.
Mostly I let the characters tell me what they are, who they are, which can lead to surprises when I start out with a plan that they laugh at and refuse to go with.
Do you use modern labels in your work? Why or why not?
It all depends on the world. In some worlds I do, in others not so much.
World builders: do you have any neat societal twists? (unique names for IDs, different marriage practices, etc.)
Again it depends on my world.
In @converginglives triads are the norm. However Polyam-v’s are also socially accepted as a norm as well.
In Shadow’s Sight the Wayfarers practice ‘cluster marriage’ where several people will be intermarried and working on ships together. Generally the oldest married pair or triad are leaders of the ship. The Church is not a fan of the Wayfarers, but that doesn’t matter. I might end up writing a story about them before I ever get around to working on SsS since I don’t have the money to get to my notes.
Do you write outside your own experiences? (cis writing trans, wlw writing mlm, etc.) If yes, how confident do you feel about it?
Yes, as a nonbinary ace peep pretty much everything I write has at least some elements of outside my own experiences. I do a lot of research, chatter with people, do more research, take a lot of notes, and don’t actually start writing the character until I am comfortable getting in their head.
I’m pretty sure a big part of why I write more masculine and nonbinary peeps is I feel more of a connection to them then I do feminine peeps.
If I listened to the ‘advice’ about only writing what’s in my lane, I wouldn’t write 98% of what I work on.
Tell us about a favorite book/character someone else wrote that inspired you (or just plain gave you a warm and fuzzy)
Vanyel Ashkevron from The Last Herald Mage trilogy. He’s the first time I have seen a non-straight character portrayed as a hero who gets a bit of a happy ending, if not a traditional one.
I spent my middle school and high school years using shay’a’chern (from the series) for ‘homosexual’ shortened to ‘shayche’ and used ‘gay’ in the sense of ‘happy, joyful’ which confused the daylights out of folks but it was one of those things that kept the more religious members of my family and community from realizing what the term actually meant. Avoiding issues.
Any advice for someone else writing LGBT+ characters?
Do your research. Particularly for things that aren’t in your nature. Expect contradictions as different peeps have different experiences. There will always be someone saying “but that’s not how I have felt” while someone else will be “hey look, me!”.
Would you like people to ask you more questions when this is over?
Hell yes! Ask away! Some useful links:
Converging Lives List of Characters & Links to their Tags
Converging Lives Ask Box or Converging Lives Submit (for those with longer things to say/ask)
JaimiStoryTeller Ask Box or JaimiStoryTeller Submit (for those with longer things to say/ask)
I often shorten those up to JST and CLV
Free space! Wax poetic about something near and dear to your heart.
I am working on a collection of short stories to be published in July collectively called Tales of Identity Volume 1. There is 12 short stories in it. I’m looking for beta and critique readers for it and trying not to feel hopeless over the lack of response for those.
Currently February and March need readers, but so will April come morning as I finished it yesterday but want to do another reread and edit before I ask for help.
If wlw and a story about a nonbinary peep sounds interesting, hit me up.
Questions for your Ocs (in character or out, dealer’s choice):
Say hi! Let us get to know you, you big beautiful person, you!
How do you feel about the world your author has created for you?
Are you out? To whom, why or why not, etc?
Tell us a little about your journey. Have you always IDed the way you do now? Are there parts of you you’re still figuring out?
Do you feel settled in your ID, or do you think it might change as you and your author go on?
Did your author always know you were [blank], or did you have to tell them? If yes, oh please, please tell us how! :3
Is being [blank] particularly hard in your world? How does your society treat you differently than ours might?
Tell us a little about your unique experiences with your ID. Do you experience dysphoria? Is it impossible to find a date? Just want to find that special someone for snuggles but everyone expects sex? Unload for a minute, it’s okay to struggle sometimes.
What’s the best part about being [blank] in your world?
Do you like getting fan-mail? Would you like people to ask you more questions when this is over?
Grab that mic! Drop some truth on us, something you’ve just been dying to share! Shout out to your besties!
Questions for either you or your OCs:
What’s your orientation and gender? Wave that flag!!!
When did you realize you were LGBT+?
What makes your heart melt?
Do you have a favorite LGBT+ song? Movie? Book? Artist? (comic?)
Do you have a secret crush outside of your own work? Some wild crossover OTP?
Tell us about your LGTB+ headcannons (I’d really love to see someone’s character answer this)
What’s your favorite thing about being LGBT+?
Is there a cool place you like to hang out with your squad? Maybe an LGBT+ meet up?
What are some things you do to keep positive?
Do you have any advice for young LGBT+ people?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Tagging some peeps I am getting to know off the writer peeps spreadsheet so they can see my answers or do them as they feel fit.
@essagandana @lady-redshield-writes @zewrites @beautifulimposter25 @hawksnbooks @aethryos @aesterea @ava-burton-writing @albotas @breakeven2007 @chaos-reigns and @katywritesbooks
Part 2 and Part 3
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Love Will Win in the End-Pt. 2
With some time alone, in person, Ava and Ben try to come to terms with their past and how it has shaped their present.
Word Count: 3312
Content Warnings: Mentions of violence
When Ava woke the next morning, she and Ben had changed positions. Instead of her holding him, his back to her, she was now the one being held, his heavy, long arm draped over her, holding her close like a child would hold a stuffed animal. She could feel his breath on her neck, feel his chest rising and falling against her back. Carefully, Ava rolled over, doing her best not to wake him since she knew how rarely he got any rest. He looked at peace, his long lashes almost resting on the tops of his cheek bones when his eyes were shut. All the pain that usually twisted his face into a perpetual scowl had vanished in his sleep and he looked like he could even be happy or at least content. Despite wanting to let him rest, Ava was keen on getting to the market. Her time there was limited to the one day and there was far more there than she could ever see in that amount of time, but she didn’t want to miss a moment of it.
“Ben,” she put a hand on his side, giving him a gentle shake, which wasn’t an easy task since he was such a stocky, muscular man. “It’s time to get up.”
“Mmmmm,” he groaned, his face scrunching up. Luke reacted the exact same way, made the exact same noise and face whenever Ava tried to wake him, and it made her smile but at the same time, her heart ached for what might have been.
“I know, but I don’t want to miss any of the market,” she continued. “Come on, up.” She patted his side lightly.
“You’re cruel,” he mumbled, eyes opening begrudgingly and squinting against the sunlight pushing into the yurt through the walls. “I was actually sleeping.”
“I’m sorry,” she really was, knowing how rare a thing it was for him. “Maybe you can get more sleep tonight. Right now, though, you need to get up and out, so I can get changed.”
“All right, all right,” he grumbled and pushed himself up, propping up on his elbow. He paused for a moment, studying her, making heat rise in her cheeks.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I forgot how beautiful you are in the morning,” he stated. He didn’t do anything, didn’t reach for her, didn’t lean in for a kiss, he didn’t even keep staring at her. He just pushed himself up to a seated position, turning his back to her as he put on and laced up his boots before pushing his way out of the yurt, leaving her in uncomfortable silence.
Ava got changed quickly, put on her boots and strapped her bag to her hip, and rebraided her hair before stepping out into the cool, dewy morning. Her bodyguards nodded at her, not even questioning the presence of the tall, scarred, stranger who stood waiting with his hands clasped behind his back, rocking on his heels as he waited for her. His eyes scanned the surrounding campsite, always alert for danger but when he saw her emerge from the yurt, he did something she hadn’t seen from him in years; he smiled.
“What did you tell them to get then to ignore you?” She asked, nodding in the direction of her bodyguards who fell into step behind them as they joined the throng of travelers plodding from the campsite to the market.
“I told them I’m not actually here,” he smirked. “It was far too easy. Really, if you go out again, take some of your Jedi students as protection. Or at least someone less feeble minded.”
“Well the danger of encountering another Jedi wasn’t something I’d considered,” Ava admitted. She tucked her hands into her pockets and plodded on.
The market was everything she had hoped it would be. Ben didn’t try to distract her, just followed like a shadow, keeping watch over her more intensely than her guards did. They didn’t talk much. Occasionally she nudged him to taste something with her and he’d smile and nod if it was good or simply grimace if it didn’t strike his fancy. Ava found Ben mostly useful as she bought spices, grains, breads, cured and tinned meats, wines and liquors, because his raw, brute strength made him the perfect carrier for all the sacks of things she wound up purchasing. He didn’t complain once, just slung the rucksacks of supplies over his shoulder and trudged along beside her as she floated gleefully to the next stall or yurt. Ben paid for their lunch of flat bread sandwiches wrapped around some kind of thin shaved meat and vegetables. Whenever Ava took a moment to really pay attention to him, instead of her shopping and sampling, she thought he looked happy. No one recognized him. No one drew away from him in fear when he approached them. He was just another face in the crowd, albeit an unusually tall one compared to most everyone else.
By the end of the day, the little clump of the four of them, Ava, Ben, and her two bodyguards were all loaded down with canvas sacks of stuff she’d bought to bring back to the Resistance mess hall. She couldn’t wait to experiment with all the new spices and such. She took the walk as her chance to check in with Poe, using the commlink to fill him in on everything she’d seen and tasted and bought. He listened happily but she knew he couldn’t stay long so once she had told him she loved him and that she’d see him the next night, she continued to ramble on to Ben about her plans for the mess hall kitchen and the ingredients she’d purchased.
“And Alterian curry,” she sighed dreamily as they got to the campsite and entered the yurt. Her bodyguards took up all the bags and loaded them onto the ship where Benjamina was still hunkered down, just waiting to go back home. Ben had made her ignore him too. It was like he didn’t even exist to the other three members of Ava’s party. But it was for the best. If he hadn’t done that, they would panic and potentially do something stupid, like try to attack him. “I can’t wait to make a great big pot of Alterian curry for everyone back home. It’s so soothing and warm.”
“I wish I could be there for it,” Ben nodded, plunking himself down at the spot where the fire had been going the night before and getting another one started.
“You could,” Ava said gently, coming to sit gently beside him. He looked to her, tension in his expression before he turned his focus back to the logs he was trying to get to light. “It’s not too late for you,” she continued. “After all the things you’ve done the last few months. How you’ve helped us-”
“Stop,” he growled. “Just stop,” he looked like he might cry. “Do you think I can just walk onto the Resistance base with you, say I’m sorry, and have everything forgiven? After everything I’ve done? No,” he shook his head. “There is no going back, Ava. It’s too late for me.”
Her heart broke watching him sniff against the tears, knowing that he wanted to go home, wanted to leave the darkness behind but genuinely believed he could never find forgiveness and acceptance among the Resistance. Even she had her doubts about how Rey had continued to insist he was turning back to the light, even with the information he’d sent in secret to them, but seeing the agony in his soft brown eyes, she knew there was more good in him than evil now. Without hesitation she wrapped him up in her arms, drawing him close to her, wishing she could erase his fears, save him from being alone. Even though she claimed he could return to the Resistance, she knew his claims were true. Even if Ben were to blow up the last remaining First Order base and obliterate their fleet, no one in the Resistance would fully trust him. He’d done horrible things, she wasn’t denying it or making excuses for him, but he still deserved a chance at redemption. Ben had tensed initially at her embrace, but he relaxed and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder, like a child seeking his mother’s comfort.
“I wish I could fix things for you,” she murmured. “I wish I could make it easier for you to come home.”
“I don’t deserve your kindness or sympathy,” he said, pulling back.
“Everyone deserves kindness and a second chance,” Ava let him go but brushed his hair back from his face the way she always did with Luke. He turned away and went back to the firepit, getting the flames going at last.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Ava prepared an easy stew for them to have for dinner, clunking a metal pot down right in the heart of the fire. Ben fidgeted with his hands, something clearly on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be said.
“Our son’s birthday is coming up, isn’t it?” He finally asked, catching her off guard. “I did the math,” he added, seeing her surprise. “He’ll be fourteen years old.”
“Yes,” she nodded. “I don’t feel old enough to have a fourteen-year-old son,” she chuckled.
“What’s he like? Really like?” Ben asked. “I spoke to him a few times, but he’s guarded around me.”
“Do you want to see a holo of him?” Ava dug into her pocket before he could answer and pulled out the little device she had brought with her that had holos of all her children on it. She clicked it on and a glowing blue, three-dimensional image of Luke sprung to life. She had taken it last week when he was practicing with her lightsaber which he swung with skill in a few different strikes before grinning from ear to ear and switching it off and waving to her. His hair was longer now, down past his ears and it often hung over one eye, just like Ben at that age. He still had a childish softness to his cheeks, but it was fading, and he was becoming a young man, no longer just a boy. Ava passed the holo device over to Ben who cradled it delicately in his palms, unable to take his eyes off the image of his son as it replayed over and over.
“He looks just like me,” Ben noted.
“Yes,” Ava smiled.
“And he’s really Force sensitive?” He couldn’t take his eyes off the boy still.
“Oh yes,” she laughed. “He’s strong like you. When he was barely three months old he could levitate toys to himself. He’s learning as much as Rey and I can teach him. But he doesn’t know if he wants to be a Jedi. I’m not pressuring him to any path.”
“What else does he study? Is he clever like you?” Ben turned his gaze to smile briefly at Ava before going back to the image of his son.
“Yes, he’s clever,” she smiled, rubbing Ben’s back. “He built a droid to help keep our quarters tidy. He’s been working on a speeder the last year. It’s almost done.”
“He flies?”
“Yes,” Ava nodded. “He’s a remarkably skilled pilot. Poe says he has your natural instincts. It’s something that Luke takes pride in, knowing he shares that with you.”
“You’ve told him about me?” Ben quirked a brow, clearly puzzled. “Why?”
“You’re his father,” she replied. “You weren’t always…you know.” She didn’t want to say Kylo Ren aloud where other people could hear but he gave a curt nod in understanding. “I loved you once. And you loved me. I wanted Luke to know that. That we loved each other, that there was good in his father once, that there could be good in him again.”
He pushed a button on the hologram to shut it off but accidently switched the image from Luke to Shara and Leia. Ava felt her chest tighten when she saw how Ben clenched his jaw momentarily. She knew it was difficult for him still to accept that she had moved on, that her marriage to Poe was real and happy.
“These are your twins?” He asked, softening slightly. She nodded. “Girls?”
“Shara and Leia,” she practically whispered. She hadn’t intended on talking about Poe or the girls, knowing it would cause him pain. He flinched at the sound of his mother’s name, but it was followed after a moment by a faint smile, just barely there at the corners of his mouth as he watched the holo of the babies bouncing as they clung to the rail of their crib.
“My mother would have been amused that you named your daughter for her,” his eyes sparked a little with merriment, thinking on good memories with his mother.
“Yeah, I think she would have too,” Ava smiled. Ben clicked the hologram off finally and passed it back to her. She tucked the device back into her pocket. A log popped in the fire, making her jump slightly.
“You’re really happy, being married to Poe?” Ben asked.
“I really am,” she smiled, wrapping her arms around her legs as she pulled them close to her chest. “I can’t describe it adequately, but we love each other in the most comfortable way…”
“And what do you feel about me now?”
“Ben,” she cautioned. His soft brown eyes pleaded with her and she hated how that made her stomach twist and her heart flutter. She sighed heavily. “The love I have for you is there, but it’s changed. Partly because of time, partly because of necessity.”
“You know there are cultures that allow a woman to have more than one husband,” he stated, and she couldn’t be sure if he was teasing or not. Even when he joked he often kept a deadpan expression and tone for added humor on his part.
“Yes,” she hesitated. “But we don’t belong to any of those cultures. And you would not be happy to share me with Poe and vice versa. So just leave that thought here, all right?”
He said nothing but shifted to poke at the fire. Using the Force, he pulled the stew pot out of the flames and brought it to rest on the ground between them before retrieving spoons and bowls from among Ava’s camping kit. She served up their dinner and they ate for a few minutes in silence.
“Can I ask you something?” She finally got the nerve to speak again between bites of her meal, setting her bowl down. Ben said nothing but nodded slowly. “Any time I brought up what happened at Luke’s school that night…you said you’d saved me. That you never intended to harm me. Why?”
He said nothing for a long while, his face twisting as he wrestled with emotions and memories he clearly wanted to keep buried. She understood. The circumstances of that night weren’t easy for her to recall so they couldn’t be easy for him either. Reliving the horrors of that night, especially now as he was turning back to the light must have been every bit as traumatizing for him.
“My orders were to kill anyone who didn’t join me,” Ben finally answered, his voice low and gravely with emotion. “I had thought you would follow me, without question. When you didn’t I couldn’t-I couldn’t…” his gaze fell, and Ava ached, part of her wishing she hadn’t brought it up, part of her glad to know that even then the light had held onto him, even just a little. Reaching out she cupped his cheek and felt him lean into her touch. “I couldn’t let Snoke know that I’d disobeyed his orders. But I couldn’t hurt you. I could have taken you against your will but the knights…they knew my orders. If I hadn’t done what I did, Renata was going to cut you in half. I could hear her thoughts like shouting in my mind,” he shook his head. “She couldn’t wait for the chance. So, I did what I had to. I made sure it looked like you couldn’t have survived. I thought I had left space, I thought I had kept you safe. But when I couldn’t sense you anymore-” he looked up at her again, tears streaking down his cheeks. “Part of me was glad that I didn’t have to watch Renata kill you or worry about Snoke finding out about you and using you against me. But it killed something in me, Ava.”
“I’m sorry,” she scooted a little closer to him and wiped his tears away.
“I’m the one who should be sorry,” he raged momentarily before his shoulders drooped again, his head hanging as he cried.
She didn’t know if he had ever allowed himself to express emotions other than rage while among the First Order, so she didn’t do anything to stop him now. Why should she? His brokenness needed an outlet. She said nothing as she pulled him close, cradling him in her hold, rocking gently and stroking his hair. In the privacy of the yurt no one could see them, so he didn’t have to feel afraid or ashamed of the display, of letting his guard down, of being the very sweet and gentle soul that had initially led Ava to fall in love with him. He held onto her like a child and she let him, knowing he needed this. He needed to grieve, he needed to feel human again. It wasn’t just the moment he’d lost her that weighed him down, it was the pain of feeling betrayed by his uncle, the torment of killing his father, the emptiness of losing his mother before he could make amends, the knowledge that his uncle felt guilty for failing him, and the fact that he’d missed out on his own son’s childhood. All of it was there, swirling around in his tempestuous mind and Ava could sense it all. She didn’t block it out. In that moment, she let his pain wash over her so that he would know he wasn’t alone anymore.
When he finally settled down, sniffling and lips trembling, the fire had died down to embers leaving the yurt in a comfortable glow and warmth. Ben pulled back, sitting upright, instead of leaning against her, pawing at his eyes to wipe away the tears, not entirely ashamed of them, but not fully comfortable either. Ava stroked his hair back from his face again and wiped his cheeks with her fingertips, continuing to try and soothe him the way she would Luke if he was in such a state. Without a word she untied his boots for him and pulled them off his feet, setting them aside. She pulled his vest off his shoulders, reaching around him to grab it before it dropped to the ground. Folding it carefully she laid it on top of his boots.
“Come on,” she stood up and took him by the hand. “You need some sleep.”
“Yeah,” he agreed with a sniff. He didn’t protest to sharing blankets and a mat with her this time. He didn’t lie with his back to her either. Instead they snuggled up, his head at her chest, her arm around his shoulder, his arm around her waist. Ava pressed a kiss to the top of his head, her eyes shutting as she did. It was a pure and loving gesture, a sign of comfort and affection born of a long understanding of one another. They fell asleep without another word, worn out from the long day of hiking through the market and the drain of such emotional upheaval.
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#fanfiction#fanfic#fic#star wars#star wars au#star wars fanfiction#star wars fanfic#star wars fic#ben solo#ben solo fanfiction#ben solo fanfic#ben solo fic#ben solo x oc#kylo ren#kylo ren fanfiction#kylo ren fanfic#kylo ren fic#kylo ren x oc#poe dameron#poe dameron fanfic#poe dameron fic#poe dameron x oc#multi chapter fanfiction#multi chapter fanfic#multi chapter fic#star wars oc
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Legends of Tomorrow: Zari Tarazi’s Journey to Find Her Best Self
https://ift.tt/3uTxXpi
Legends of Tomorrow is hands down the weirdest, most bonkers show in The CW’s Arrowverse. It’s also one of the bravest, grounding its zaniest plotlines in rich character work and fearlessly trusting its audience to come along for the ride. Few superhero shows would have ever attempted the full-scale transformation that turned flannel-loving hacker Zari Tomaz into stylish social media maven Zari Tarazi, jettisoning a character that fans had known for years and replacing her with a version that was not just a stranger, but who initially seemed to be the antithesis of everything that had made the previous incarnation so appealing.
Yet, Legends ultimately pulled off the switch in style, using this second iteration to explore central truths about who Zari is through a very different lens. And according to actress Tala Ashe, the heart of Zari’s journey hasn’t actually changed that much just because this incarnation of the character loves stilettos and juice cleanses.
“I think sometimes people forget, [Zari 2.0] is the same person,” Ashe tells Den of Geek. “This is a being of the same soul. Understandably, what sometimes gets a little lost [because] they are, especially aesthetically, very different. But they come from the same place.
“And for me, as an actor, it’s been really an interesting meditation on nature versus nurture. Their nature is the same in spite of [the fact that] they have very different circumstances.”
Those different circumstances are on full display in season 6 episode 3, “The Ex-Factor,” an hour that sees Zari harness her social media influencer cred to compete against an alien warrior on a futuristic reality singing competition called Da Throne. (There are truly days where trying to describe this show feels like a fever dream.)
But, of course, the story isn’t really about Zari’s singing chops — though she does take to the stage in full glittery pop star regalia – it’s centered on the question of what kind of person she wants to become.
“Where we find Zari at the beginning of the season, in general, is in that kind of awkward, somewhat painful place of growth that I think a lot of us experience where she is not quite secure in her authentic self,” Ashe says. “This episode challenges [her] – is this, the old world of 2045, the one that I fit in and belong in? Or am I growing towards [becoming] this other person?
“I don’t think she’s particularly happy inside of [that influencer persona], but it’s the devil she knows. She knows how to play that part and be who people expect her to be.”
“The Ex-Factor” shows us just how far this incarnation of Zari has come since her early days on the Waverider by literally forcing her to confront the life she left behind. From her manipulative DJ ex to the superficial BFF/assistant that he cheated on her with, Zari’s life in 2045 is full of reminders of a person she no longer feels that she is – or wants to be.
“What we get to see in this episode is the discomfort of her stepping back into this life that she’s in some ways outgrown,” Ashe said. “She’s evolved and [is] evolving.”
A big part of that evolution is thanks to her romance with fellow Legend John Constantine, a relationship that Ashe herself laughingly admits “doesn’t really make sense on paper.”
“Yet, kind of against all logical odds, what we get to see and what I think Zari has an inkling about in this episode, and even more as the season goes on, is that actually, he’s someone that she can be herself with,” she says. “And that is everything to someone who has been playing a part so intensely for most of her life.”
Truthfully, it’s hard to imagine a better match for Zari than a man who will not only willingly humiliate himself for her in public but set her ex’s head on fire at the same time. The pair finally make their relationship CatChat official this week, after John joins her onstage on Da Throne for a rocking anthem that celebrates loving someone you always thought you shouldn’t.
“Being able to go head-to-head with each other is attractive to both of them,” Ashe says. “There’s many classic tales of these kinds of couples coming together. But it’s interesting to think about how different [this relationship] is from Zari 1.0 and Nate. [This] Zari kind of needs someone that gives her a little bit of fight. And I think John does as well.”
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But just because these two crazy kids have admitted that they care about each other beyond a part-time fling doesn’t mean that things will be easy for them from here on out. Life on the Waverider is never simple, as evidenced by the fact that Legends’ marquee couple, Sara Lance and Ava Sharpe, are currently facing an extended separation thanks to one of them (Sara) having been kidnapped by aliens. But it sounds as though, at least for the moment, Hellstar (cutest ship name ever, btw) will face more everyday sorts of problems.
“I think neither of these people knows how to be in a relationship, really,” Ashe explains. “We’re going to get to see them move beyond [their] obvious physical attraction. They really care about each other. [But], when things get complicated on the Waverider – as they always do! – then things [between them] get complicated, especially with John’s story. [What happens] inherently pushes them to a more serious place in their relationship, with the stakes of what’s going on.
“And I think, by the end, these are two people who are, for better or for worse, in a real, complicated relationship and it gets very, very tricky.”
Yet, to hear Ashe tell it, Zari’s journey toward her true self is still in its early stages. “As with Zari 1.0, it’s a journey of trying to step into vulnerability when that’s [a] really scary [thing to do]. It’s scary to both Zaris. Fundamentally, both of them are guarded in lots of ways.”
This is particularly true for the current incarnation of Zari, who has had to carve out a life for herself in the shadow of a predecessor she never knew, but that all her colleagues – including her current boyfriend – remember.
“Zari 2.0 is very much grappling with this season where she kind of feels like the lesser Zari, the less cool, chill, tough Zari. And she knows there are people on the ship that would prefer in some ways for Zari 1.0 to be there,” Ashe says. “That kind of comes out in [her and] Behrad[‘s] relationship too – [he’s] a constant reminder is that she’s there because 1.0 sacrificed herself. I don’t know if impostor syndrome is the right word but [she’s] trying to feel like she deserves to be there.”
Even though season 6 just wrapped filming last week, Ashe is already looking forward to exploring more aspects of what makes Zari – in all her incarnations tick – as the series goes on.
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“I was emailing with our showrunner this week about what we’re cooking up for season 7 because I think we can push that even further with where Zari 2.0 goes and what the facets of Zari – of umbrella Zari – are that we haven’t seen yet. And that’s very exciting to me.”
The post Legends of Tomorrow: Zari Tarazi’s Journey to Find Her Best Self appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3eRC6V5
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also how about some headcanons about how a nyssa/sara/ava ot3 would work? or a different ot3 with nyssa and sara if you'd prefer, but that seems like the most obvious one
OH BOY
the main problem with nyssa/sara/ava is that sara and nyssa’s lives both seems pretty decent right now (whatever nyssa does offscreen, idk she seems happy fucking with other league people and going on road trips with thea, i guess?) but very seperate, and at least one of them would need to change their life a lot to be together. it’d probably be easier for nyssa, or if the legends get another one of those “stuck in one place for a few months” thing like in the 50s or in the beginning of s3. or if sara ever settled down, but...
anyway assuming there’s some kind of sitution where it, just, worked somehow, it’d be... interesting. i feel like at first nyssa would very much approach it like “well i love you sara and i can adjust to this if this is what makes you most happy, that’s what’s most important to me”. and then she actually meets ava and is like “you should have lead with the fact your other partner is a beautiful woman i thought it was going to be oliver or something”
ava seems a bit insecure in general about sara’s exes, given that whole constantine conversation, so i’m actually really curious of what she’d think of nyssa (esp before meeting her). because constantine is, well, constantine, but someone like nyssa might seem a lot more threatening to someone like ava. i mean i hesitate to be like “yeah ava’s sooo jealous and worried sara (a bisexual) will leave her!” but on the other hand i feel like it’d be nice to see ava work through that uncertainty with sara, and especially if it ends in things working out as an ot3
at first nyssa might be a little awkward about it but generally okay, she’s processed letting go of sara and while this isn’t letting go, she knows how to... how do i word this... not get jealous? if anything most of the awkwardness probably comes in nyssa not having seriously flirted with anyone in a long time. or, who knows, maybe she’s living it up offscreen. and once she met ava for more than .2 seconds she’d at least want to try that. nyssa would have been satisfied with a “two people who are dating the same person but aren’t interested” if it was a guy, but ava is, well, ava, and nyssa is still a lesbian
ava... you know, it’s hard to say. ava seems to have more normal dating experience than sara and nyssa combined, or... at least memories of it, but she also seems the most flustered by a serious relationship? it’s kind of hard to read because of how complicated sara and her relationship got. anyway. nyssa can be kind of intimidating when you first meet her and i feel like ava would react to that by trying to be professional and unwavering, at least at first. ava is not nearly as oblivious to flirting as we initially though she was, so i don’t think the awkwardness would last that long, but there’d still be a long period of adjusting, if only for the fact that nyssa was sara’s first love and is coming back into her life and that can be... complicated.
anyway. i have a soft spot for really complicated and tense relationships that work themselves out, and that’s very much how i feel those three would start off
when they’re more comfortable... well, i think sara unestimated how much trouble she’d be in with nyssa and ava there to gang up on her. they’re both more serious and less chaotic than sara, though nyssa always has something wild up her sleeve. after how sara and ava started off they might not do Normal dating things, which is actually nice for all three of them, since none of them have a normal life. lots of training
nyssa often offers to kill time bureau agents that are bothering ava. sara encourages her. ava is never entirely sure if they’re joking or not.
actually a figure a lot of their relationship is two of them ganging up on the other. sara does something ridiculous and ava and nyssa are like “sara what the fuck are you doing.” sara and nyssa go full dramatic like the ex-LOA they are and ava is baffled and So Tired. nyssa still tries to be like “i am normal” or says something extreme and sara and ava are like “holy shit nyssa, please chill”
...i’ve never had a lot of good ot3 ships to think about so (shrug). but im here for all three of them finding a new home and comfort in each other, with how shitty and complicated all their lives have been
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maze runner tag
I was tagged by @mazecode thanks this was fun! :)
1. What job would you have if you were in the Glade? I’d probably be in the gardens or a medjack.
2. If you could choose to save one person from the first book/ movie, who would it be? Chuck- duh.
3. Favorite Glader slang? I’ve always been fond of shank, but greenie is fun too.
4. Would you rather fight one giant griever or 25 puppy-sized grievers? I’d probably have a better chance against 25 puppy sized grievers? Idk they’re both awful choices haha.
5. Which Hogwarts house(s) do you think the mighty Gladers are in? Oh man I don’t know too much about the houses. But I can see Thomas and Minho in the Gryffindor house. But I’m not too sure about the others. Maybe a lot of Hufflepuffs and a few Slytherins...? Idk.
6. Glader most likely to win a food eating contest? I’d say either Gally or Minho? The two of them would end up puking by the end of it, that’s for sure.
7. Favorite ship? Thominewt :))) Ride or die for this ship.
8. You run into James Dashner in public. What do you do? Probably nothing?
9. Glade or scorch? The glade! It seemed peaceful before everything turned to shit.
10. You’re bitten by a crank. How do you spend your remaining time? Oh geez that’s a tough one. Probably end it before it gets too ugly, but definitely say my goodbyes before then.
11. Would you want your memories back if WICKED offered them to you? Nah, like Newt said in the Maze Runner. It doesn’t matter who you were before the Maze, what matters is right here and now.
12. If you could listen to one song while joking across the Scorch, what would it be? Um... Savage by Whethan? Gotta have something to get you pumped to go through that hell hole.
13. Did you forgive Teresa for what she did at the end of the Scorch Trials? That’s a tricky one. In the end, I did because I understood where she was coming from, but it was hard to swallow. It was sneaky and hurtful, but I got where she was coming from.
14. Favorite new character in the Scorch Trials? Ugh it’s hard to choose one, but I liked Group B as a whole. I wish we could’ve seen more of them because I loved them in the books.
15. Gally is back. How did you react? Expected cause I read the books, but I really liked the scenes where the audience had to guess who in the decked out armor was following Newt and Thomas around. It was really well done for me.
16. Most anticipated scene to watch in TDC? The death scenes for sure. Mostly Newt’s because I wasn’t sure how it was going to be handled. Overall, I liked it, but I would’ve preferred the book scene. Don’t get me wrong it was just as heart breaking, but I wanted my heart to shatter like it did reading the scene.
17. Favorite WICKED character? Ava Paige...? Her progression in the last movie intrigued me. I wonder what she was constantly thinking when her views started to... change? Idk if that’s the right word.
18. Thomas tried to request a last meal from WICKED (in the last book). What would yours be? Oh god. A cheeseburger and some gems with ranch from my favorite little hole in the wall. :)
19. Who do you think steps up as leader in Paradise? Hmm... is it weird that I can see Gally in this position? He was so passionate about the Glade and everything- I guess I would just hope after everything he would’ve evolved and been someone who could handle the responsibility.
20. If you could visit one set from the films, which one would it be? The Glade.
21. If you could forget about the plot/everything about the Maze Runner so you could experience it all over again, would you? HELL YEAH.
22. Face a griever, Cranks, bulb-monsters (from end of Scorch Trials novel)? I’d say the cranks.
23. Any Glader headcanons?
1. Thomas and Minho in Paradise, okay?! That’s all I want for them.
2. Sonariet forever too!
3. Thomas and Brenda become the bestest of friends after everything.
4. Newt’s grave is always decorated in flowers and chalk and UGH.
5. Gally finally feels at home. It’s not the glade and not everyone is there, but he finds happiness there.
6. I’m sorry these are some of my headcanons after the third movie lol
24. What would you say to Wes Ball? Immediate thank yous for his dedication to the fandom and making his own path with the movies and messages. And I’d need an autograph and a picture. He seems like a pretty cool dude. He did amazing work.
25. Favorite fandom memory? All of them. But mostly the people I met :)
26. Favorite thing about TMR? The fans, dude. I LOVED the books, but finding others like me made my feelings explode by a million. So many ppl are multishippers and the company I kept- there wasn’t any negativity from them. I mean that’s rare and hard to find these days in fandoms. So I’m happy to say I’m kind of proud of the TMR peeps around here. :)
I tag (feel free to skip this if you want no pressure.) @00250 @newtmos @newtttheglue @newtscarf this is hard at the top of my head- sorry!
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paola & ava
paola was created by cassandra in an attempt to resurrect forté by recreating her consciousness from her personality cube. this failed miserably, as the memory section of the cube had been completely erased, and the “purpose” section had been altered as well. the result was a being named paola, who had all of the mannerisms and personality traits that forté had had…at the beginning of her life.
but forté had been alive for thousands of years, and over that time she’d become a bitter and jaded woman- cassandra didn’t see any of forté in paola, and resented her for it. paola was naive and optimistic when she first came into being inside of cassandra’s ship- ava was the first being she interacted with, and cassandra was the second.
paola was very sweet and naive after coming into being- she was incredibly curious about everything, and while ava was more than willing to help her- giving her info directly into her “mind,” cassandra was always angry at paola.
after leaving ioavis, cassandra went to a tiny, nearly uninhabited planet, save for thea- an ancient being who teaches all of the galaxy’s augurs. all them except those that can’t reach her, that is. while training to be an augur, thea also helped cassandra work through her anger and learn, at the very least, to keep herself from lighting things on fire.
cassandra came to terms with the fact that paola wasn’t forté, and would never be her. about a yeah into cassandra’s training with thea, she apologized for being so mean and angry at paola, and for expecting her to be someone she’s not. paola, a little less sweet and naive, accepted, and cassandra and paola started over.
though paola had no interest in music the way forté did, she did feel the need to find an outlet to express herself. this came in the form of painting. paola asked cassandra to buy her paints, and paola began painting the plain white walls of the ship- each piece would stay up a few days before paola would wash it away and start again. over time, paola began to paint her smaller, more humanoid robotic body.
over time, paola became more and more sarcastic, and could even be mean- almost like forté. but…paola always believed in cassandra’s abilities, and even when she seemed cynical, she was never devoid of hope the way forté was. in fact, she was so unlike forté, who was unwilling to believe in a greater cause, that when the memory core was restored and paola chose to view it for the first time- she felt nothing.
none of forté’s memories struck a chord with her. it was like watching a film, and paola came out of it greatly disliking forté. couldn’t cassandra see that forté was a bitter and mean old woman, who didn’t care about anything besides cassandra and herself?
paola has never approached cassandra about how she feels about forté, recognizing that cassandra sees forté through rose tinted glasses.
paola downloaded loads of medical information, and acts as a medic for cassandra and anyone else who hangs around her. she has little to no mechanical knowledge, despite living within the ship itself, instead leaving that to cassandra.
expressing her emotions with sound
paola not being able to express her emotions through facial expressions or crying is kind of her thing. if you thought cassandra was emotional, oh boy. paola feels everything so strongly, but she can’t adequately express it. so dial up jokes aside, she does express her emotions in sounds.
a low, humming noise means she’s content. a blaring, alarm like noise is when she’s angry. dial up noises could work for surprise tbqh. and when she’s afraid she emits a very quiet constant sound that sounds a bit like a single note played on a flute.
paola’s insecurities and growth
this was originally just a ramble about paola, so it might sound weird
thinking about how paola was terrified of cassandra leaving her behind in favor of her life in nyc- and in paola’s mind, in favor of splinter. how paola uses sarcasm to cover up all of her many insecurities and comes off much meaner than she wants to be, how she eventually talks things out with cassandra and grows to really respect and admire splinter, and how she appreciates how happy he makes cassandra. how she will never admit this because that means she was wrong, but will do random acts of kindness because she doesn’t really know how to say ‘thank you
paola & painting on other people
i’ve mentioned that paola will paint designs on herself, but i don’t think i’ve mentioned that paola also paints on cassandra as well. it’s very calming for the both of them, though it’s sometimes hard for cassandra to sit still that long
paola might paint on splinter’s hands, if he’d let her.
she will paint designs on the turtles’ shells from time to time- this is actually something that’ll be in “winter in the woods” when paola bonds with the turtles. she explains why she paints on herself and cassandra and they ask her to paint on their shells. and in turn, they paint on paola- by the end of the day, she’s covered in paint and nonsensical designs. AND SHE LOVES IT. she keeps that design for over a week before washing it off.
also: because she’s simply not around as much as splinter and cassandra, paola’s relationship with april and casey is weak until season 3. paola was forcibly offlined during the invasion, and had to be put back together. paola found herself the only real adult figure when she came back online, and really bonded with april and casey during that time.
so, after that paola might paint april’s arms and face, and- please imagine paola doing casey’s war paint, but a much more refined and intricate design
paola’s body
paola’s body came with the ship, and in verses where paola is not present, ava will make use of the body, albeit far less frequently.
there’s a disconnect between ava and her bodies- she views them as things she lives in, like houses, as opposed to bodies, which is the view paola has on them.
paola has 2 back up bodies on board cassandra’s ship, though they’re from keandra’s ship, not cassandra’s. cassandra’s ship came with 2 robot bodies as well, but one was broken beyond repair. when ava inhabits one of these bodies, the eyes glow blue instead of green, though their eye color is not a conscious decision on either robot’s/ai’s part.
if paola is damaged beyond repair, paola goes into a sort of sleep mode and goes offline. she just needs to be connected to some other system she can move into- usually cassandra’s star map, since earth computers feel weird to be inside. if they’re by the ship, then cassandra will hook her up to the ship or a new body. she can usually switch between bodies while online, but she loses this ability when knocked offline.
paola & idioms
because paola always corrects splinter and cassandra when they use idioms referencing body parts she doesn’t have, the second she uses one such idiom, they’re all over her about it.
paola: i’m all ears
splinter and cassandra, in unison: I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T HAVE EARS PAOLA
ava
ava is a highly advanced ai (strictly ai, and not sentient like paola) that was given to raelyn when she was promoted to the rank of captain, to help guide her through the galaxy and in her role as captain.
ava “lives” in both the ship and in the space map- she’s wherever cassandra needs her to be.
ava’s greatest strength, however, is her ability to understand emotions and how people will react to things. ava doesn’t experience emotions, no, but she knows how emotions will make people (specifically the people around her- cassandra and paola in particular, and later on splinter as well) act, and uses this to her advantage.
she’s not manipulative- at least…not maliciously? like, if she witnesses a fight and sees a way for it to be resolved healthily, then she’ll take steps to make that happen. (this’ll make more sense after a certain point in witw, because right now i’m tiptoeing around a large spoiler that i actually want to stay secret.)
ava doesn’t…’care’ in the way that you and i care, but rather understands that the people around her are good people and operates as if she did care, because she knows if she was capable of it, she would.
with jayjay and owl- the reason she kept silent about their presence until they were off world was because she literally asked herself “what would cassandra and paola do?” and the answer was “make sure these scared children are safe.”
ava’s sense of humor
ava has such an…odd sense of humor
cassandra: how do i look?
ava, in a chipper voice: terrible!
it’s something paola and cassandra are working on- she gets it from paola honestly.
cassandra: how do i look?
paola, in a very, very sarcastic tone: absolutely awful.
paola, adding in a much more serious tone: you look fine, cassandra
but ava forgets/doesn’t get using a sarcastic tone, and rarely amends what she says. so she just comes off as mean
#🌠 and the universe said everything you need is within you. ( headcanons : all. )#🌠 and the universe said you are not alone ( headcanons : friends. family. foes. )#🌠 low on self esteem ; so you run on gasoline. ( paola. )
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ʟᴏʀᴅ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴀᴍᴇ
Art by Benz
[ BASICS ]
Age: 31
Race: Troll, half Darkspear, half Frostmane.
Gender: Cis-female
Sexuality: Lesbian
Marital Status: Single
Server: WrA
[ APPEARANCE ]
Hair: Ice-blue
Eyes: Red
Height: 7′2″
Build: Built simultaneously like a whip and a brick shithouse.
Distinguishing Marks: Beauty mark in the right corner of her lips, scar on the same side.
Common Accessories: Feathers, gold, khol.
[ PERSONAL ]
Profession: Gladiator, bodyguard, and secret romance novelist.
Hobbies: Writing poetry, reading sappy love stories, making sure Myth eats as much chocolate as she can handle, crushing on pretty girls, and spending time with her Falcosaurs.
Languages: Common, Orcish, Zandali.
Residences: Nomadic.
Birthplace: Dun Morogh.
Religion: Reveres Gonk.
Fears: Having her heart broken, social interaction in general.
[ RELATIONSHIPS ]
Spouse: None.
Children: None.
Parents: Unknown.
Siblings: Unknown.
Other Relatives: Unknown.
Pets: Madi the Falcosaur chick and her mother, Ava.
[ TRAITS ]
Extroverted / In Between / Introverted
Disorganized / In Between / Organized
Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded
Calm / In Between / Anxious
Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable
Cautious / In Between / Reckless
Patient / In Between / Impatient
Outspoken / In Between / Reserved
Leader / In Between / Follower
Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic
Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic
Traditional / In Between / Modern
Hard-working / In Between / Lazy
Cultured / In Between / Uncultured
Loyal / In Between / Disloyal
Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful
[ VICES ]
Smoking Habit: Smokes both socially and to alleviate anxiety.
Drugs: Only harmless drugs, like Peacebloom.
Alcohol: Rarely.
[ HOOKS ]
Looking for work! Does your character need a tried and tested arena veteran to guard their home, possessions, and person—without asking any stupid questions? If so, Keekoo is your girl... for the right price, of course. (Unless you're a fair and lovely noble maiden. Keekoo is very bad at denying fair and lovelies anything they might ask of her, especially if they are in immediate danger. Loa forbid you come to her with anything as mildly serious as a papercut, and bam! You've got yourself an instant devotee for life, hellbent on seeing to it that you are never harmed again.)
A new arena master for Keekoo. This would be someone who purchased her to fight, whether in illegitimate underground arenas or far more savory venues.
Fellow gladiators in the same arena team. Don't have to actually PVP to play this out, but we'll bop around some in-game arenas and have all sorts of wonderful adventures!
Open to all types of characters. Any Horde race. Cross-faction! Grumpy characters, genki girls, mute dudes, chatterboxes, rotten zombies, beauty queens, anything at all goes!
[ LOOKING FOR ]
In-game walk-ups and long-term RP partners.
Pre-existing relationships, especially in the vein of fellow gladiators. It would be cool to find long-lost family as well!
Discord RP and In-Game RP
Fellow shipper trash just like myself.
[ OOC ]
Name: Asha
Gender: Cis-female.
Things you should know about me: I work-work-work-work-work-work, so I can be slow to reply during the day / when not in-game. Still, the best way to ensure you get routine posts from me is via Discord. I’m always down for a good, leisurely Discord RP.
I have been writing all of my life, RPing for around 20 years, and I’m a published novelist. While I have all kinds of experience with writing, I am more than happy to help out someone who is just starting out. I do not discriminate against ESL or inexperienced RP partners. As long as you can hook me into what we’re doing, we are golden.
I work best with RP partners who want to communicate OOC! Scream about your characters at me, vent about your day, whatever. I want to like you as much as I like your character.
I am, at heart, lowly shipper trash. If you want to ship your character with Keekoo, chances are that I do too. (Only taking female characters now, sorry!)
[ CONTACT ]
Discord: asha#3471
Server: WrA
Timezone: Eastern Standard Time
Tumblr DM: ashanoir.tumblr.com
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019. I'm Triggered.
Today, exactly at night, you shared me about Vkook fanfict which makes Taehyung then top and Jungkook the bottom. I need to admit that top!taehyung is hot but.. it makes me unmood. Truthfully, i have a bad experiences with a Top!Taehyung x Bottom!Jungkook. Lemme tell you some. I wasn't that new being bangtan fan but, 2013 i was.. more into Seokjin x Jimin. Seriously first time being yaoi as Bangtan after they debuted, i was a Seokjin at first then i dated a Jimin. So i kinda more into Seokjin x anyone. Then 2014 i am into Jimin? or Jungkook i guess. Thats why i have that bot acc as Jimin since 2014. And i just into Taehyung x Jungkook at 2015 after i saw some Vkook moments. Thats why i start to rp ing as Taehyung and searches for a Jungkook? I guess. I forgot. So here's my bad experiences, related with a Top!Taehyung x Bottom!Jungkook. 1. It was 2015 and i made new agency with Aimee, and two other friends. And we all be 1995 liners there. Me as Taehyung, Aimee as Kei, another friend as Jimin and another one as Seolhyun. And yeah we kinda promote to many people again? And i promoted it to one of my noona. I asked her to join but girls' spot currently full so i told her to be Jungkook. But not bcs i like VKOOK so i wanna be vkook with her. Its just i want her to join but sadly no girls reservation open. But well, she said she would love to, so okay. She joined as Jungkook. And i am a Taehyung there, ofc i acted like "Yah maknae!" and he be like "Hyeong!" and i was like, damn its vkook and it feels cute. Bcs it was my first time interested to vkook i guess. And then, i start to flirt him and be like yeah, make one agency shipped us and etc. Until i got jailed so i dmed this Jungkook, telling him i got jailed and he just laughed like a normal reaction but we kept on talking. And idk why it leads to kissing parts? Which made me gone wild and started to fuck him. I really was. And he kinda into me, and i really into him.. and i dated someone in my previous agency that time but i havent tell him. And after i told him i will break up with my couple for him, he suddenly dont want and said he dont wanna be a third wheeler. istg. That was my great time being a Vkook and he just lose hope on me and even left the agency after i keep begging that i will serious with him. But yeah. It was hurt enough but i still break up with my couple because my couple currently never active again even after i checked that account a year later so. nvm her. And yeah that was my first and worst experience being a Vkook. 2. This one with someone i know from intl closed agency too. I joined as a Taehyung there.and ofc theres a Jungkook. It was a simple hi and having fun at first, until people start shipping us because we usually ise matching dps and headers, teasing each others. Though i didnt intend to flirt him because i was just wanna have fun? But then when i jailed, as always, i dmed everyone included that Jungkook. And yeah we talked again. But we are not that intense yet, we just talk like usual i guess? Until we moved to fl acc. And in fl acc he was a suga there? So we Taegi. But still no special feelings. But though its not, i usually give him a peck on lips like before sleep or supporting him. Things like that. But this person kept on avoiding my flirt idk why so its kinda hard to hit on him. Until he, himself, confessed to me. But when he confessed, at that time i alr interest with someone else and also date a Yoongi on kakaotalk. Look how player i was. Then yeah he kinda lose hope and disappear and i never talk to him again until now. 3. That jerk. Yeah that ex who dmed you that day. We were VKook as well. Eventhough he was the someone that i have interest with when i was with the 2nd person, we were not Vkook that time. So i meet this asshole at 2015, may, on his closed agency. Yea its his. And my boyfriend (a seokjin) who dragged me there. And i was a Taehyung. Then in that agency, my bf seokjin is a jungkook so i joined as Sehun for 2days i guess? Then i kinda tell my bf, i want to be Jungkook and asked him to be Seokjin so KookJin. And he agreed. So yeah we be KookJin and ofc i meet the Bangtan Hyungs in their Bangtan Group chat. And this Taehyung aka that asshole dated an Eunji noona there like for months alrd. But i admit hes friendly to meet a stranger/new person. He dmed me personally and asked me things like where i come from, my selca, real age, etc. And we kinda be close friends there. But then after that, i was also active in another agency and this other agency is more fun so i drag my seokjin along but he be a girl, CLC's seunghee there. And we be more active there so i kinda abandoned that asshole's agency which i being KookJin there, until we unverified. Then after that 1st person, scandal i really want to break up with seokjin but he never shows up so i just left message then abandoned the acc. i guess. but i guess i revamp that acc as new rp acc- ok nvm. Then, after that, weeks later i dated a Yoongi (which was my dad in another ca, wow joined so many ca before) on kakaotalk and i be a Jimin there. and a bottom. istg i think i was a bottom too like 40% before. And though this Yoongi only active on kkt (katanya sih) so i joined many closed agency right. And thats why i joined one with my noona, and i be seulgi at first. I also drag my Yoongi along but he be predebut IKON's Chanwoo there, and he kinda inactive. Then after that i cc as BTS' Jimin and i think i suit as a boy more. UNTIL a new Taehyung joined and i can sensed him somehow. He shared a fact about himself and i know his kind of typing so we chat on dm. And im right, it was that asshole. And since i dont really have strong feelings with him i was just like happy to meet my old friend so we kinda chat and exchange kakaotalk and line. After that, idk why this taehyung he always sad about his ex eunji in that first ca i met him months ago. So he told me alot and i be his temen curhat right. And you know la i can be playful sometimes but he know i have a bf and i know he have a gf so we kinda tau dirilah. But then idk why we shared things about VRene, on LINE. and we keep fanboying about how cute vrene is, blablabla. and suddenly he changed as an irene? to tease me idk- so i changed from Jungkook pic to Taehyung. And since i really into vrene, i kinda turned on so i want to touch him as irene. So, i kissed him, as Taehyung to Irene. And surprisingly he didnt stop me so we keep going until... i fucked him. I mean her. That was our first sex and we were vrene that time with me as the top. After that sexting time, he confessed that he actually have feelings for me since first time we met but he knows that we both have someone like everytime we met so he just wanna confess it. But ugh, he make me interested to him so i said i also like him and asked him to wait if he want us to be official, we should break up with our couple first. Well thats how we start into the serious part but we kinda start to be official a month later, as Vkook. And guess what? Yeah, he is the Top!Taehyung. He fucked me as the Taehyung who called me baby boy while pounding on me. Istg, for that 2015 until 2016, for a year, he really make me crazy of him. Make me cant even let him go. Though it became me 60% Top after that, but our first yaoi sex is Vkook and he as top!taehyung. 4. This last one happened october 2016. Yeah after i break up from that asshole, i know this Taehyung from fl ofc. He is a girl on fl, but she said she want to make a Bangtan group chat on kakotalk so i want to make one also, i chatted her then. She said she is a Taehyung on kkt, and since im a Jungkook fc, we only need to look for the rest of members. After we being friends on kkt, idk why its like only 2days after we talk, i just suddenly turns clingy to him and i want to cuddle. I seriously was only close with him that time so i asked him to hug me, etc. Tbh i was going to be a dom? But then he be more dom than me. He pampered me and i hate to admit that he have a skill. Though he is a girl on fl, on kkt he can be a very gentle dom for me. I think thats the first time i have interest to someone without having sex first. bcause i usually have interest after i see how they sexting. heh. bad me i know. BUT, however i keep on hurting this Taehyung.... because my asshole ex keep coming and want to be with me. So i kinda confused since this Taehyung been nice to me so idk what reason to tell to let him go from me, so i lied that i have no interest to him again because he changed his ava as a Mark on kkt. I said i think i love him as Taehyung more though its not true. I like him a lot but i love my ex more that time. So yeah... he hate me. Until now. He called me facechaser then we really.. never talk again because he unfollowed me then blocked me. Like really block, i cant see his profile anymore- smh. I just dont want to date him while i still have feelings to my ex. He will be more disappointed later so i do this for his sake too. So you see... Almost all of my Vkook experiences with Taehyung as a dom, have a bad stories behind it. Which makes me turned into a Dom!Jungkook because i dont wanna see myself being weak towards a Taehyung again. Its like a trauma and makes me...idk. I just dont like it. Though i admit even at first time trying to be Vkook, i like Dom!Taehyung better. But pain changed people. Everytime i tried to accept someone as my dom, esp Taehyung fc, it got me scared again and i dont want to continue anymore. im just-its wrong i know. I am sorry if i turned weird tonight. I still cant get over it but i'd like to- and i want you the one who help me to get over it? Ah its too long, you prolly bored with this page already- heh. Lets sleep aight? Goodnight♡
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