#I mean yeah sometimes it does

[bpdohwhatajoy]

I really hate the way a lot of healing is presented. It’s not some “uwu flowers and sunshine everything is great!!!!” shit. That’s fake, disingenuous, and not realistic. If your recovery isn’t like that, don’t think you’re not making progress. That’s more toxic positivity than anything.

Recovery is gritty. It’s not never breaking down. It’s not never feeling bad. It’s not never feeling unhealthy urges. You’ll still break down (albeit less eventually but there will still be times of that). You’ll feel bad at times. It’s impossible to avoid negative emotions completely. They’re apart of life. It’s trying your best to resist urges and extending compassion to yourself when you do give in. You’ll still feel the urges. In fact I feel them quite often. It’s not never giving into them. It’s understanding that giving in is bad for you so you try your best to fight them off.

At first it might not even look like progress. You might think nothing is happening. You might feel hopeless. But progress with this stuff is slow. I mean think about it. You’ve been doing so badly for so long. You’re traumatized. Do you think you can undo that all overnight? It may take awhile to even see results. This is a gradual process. Don’t give up on it because it could take awhile.

Recovery is often confronting heavy things that have plagued you for years so actually a lot of negative feelings do come up. But the fact you’re confronting them and coping is proof that you’re healing and making progress.

Recovery involves finally standing up for yourself with people. It’s finally asserting your needs and stating how you feel rather than just sucking shit up and suppressing how you feel. It’s honoring your feelings rather than punishing yourself for feeling them or acting like feeling them is a wrong. It’s not tolerating mistreatment anymore. It’s saying ENOUGH. You can’t treat me like that. I value myself enough to not engage with that so I’m walking away and not letting them back no matter how they try to manipulate you.

Recovery is hard. It’s a lot of work. It’s getting kicked down and standing up with blood and bruises and taking care of the wounds. It’s not giving up even when you want to. It’s holding out hope for better days even if better days seem impossible. It’s also incredibly lonely which no one tells you. When you’re healing and putting up with shit less often, the same toxic people who banked on your tolerance won’t like how you are now so you will probably lose a lot of relationships either from you choosing to walk away or them not wanting wanting to stick around anymore since you’re finally not tolerating their shit. 2023 is the year of me losing the most relationships that I have over the course of a year I think but it’s also the best I’ve been doing mentally. Despite how lonely it gets, don’t give up on recovery and healing. Being alone is better than being drained by awful people.

Recovery is not putting up with mistreatment even when you think it’s what you deserve. Even though you feel worthless, you don’t let people treat you like that. You hopefully will get to a place where you feel good about yourself (I’m not there yet) but for the meantime it’s the action. Sure you feel bad about yourself but you stop letting people treat you like that.

You deserve to heal. You deserve to have your emotions honored. You deserve better from people. You deserve the hope that things can get better. Maybe you’re not at a point where this is possible. It wasn’t for me for many years. But when you start to undergo healing, revisit this post and you’ll see what I mean. I wish you all the best.

#ryan.txt #healing #recovery #healing journey #recovery series #so many emotions come up #you probably will feel a lot of sadness grief anger #basicslly anything you’ve suppressed #it’s normal to feel that stuff #recovery actually doesn’t necessarily feel happy #I mean yeah sometimes it does #but a lot of it is actually finally feeling stuff and not punishing and honoring whatever it is that you feel #I’m telling you it gets better and I’m not even close to fully healed #so trust me #it gets better #recovery journey

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 261

“So is no one going to talk about the eldritch space child or…” 

“I mean, do you want to get between a child and Batman? I think the only one who could even get close right now is Superman…” 

“No you’re right, I think- oh my god the eldritch space child is playing with batman’s bat-ears and he’s not doing anything about it what the fuck I thought only Robins could get away with that-” 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Alfred is Clockwork #AndCW having adopted Danny means Danny gets to meet his new big brother from another timeline #Bruce (Once Alfred confirms) is absolutely attached within moments #Autistic bois unite & talk for hours about hyperfixations #Clark has had time to make an entire homemade pie at this point #No Danny isn’t ghost king nor is Clockwork Cronus #Bruce: I have only had a baby brother for 5 hours but if anything happens to him I will let my kids break all the rules & kill everyone her #Signal: Yeah definitely Alfred’s he glows like him and everything #The rest of the bats: Alfred does what now- #Danny with dozens of big star eyes to Bruce: How would you feel about sisters #Bruce holding 3 children & 1 young adult: I am big brother now #Alfred scathingly says that Someone in the family *cough Jazz cough* will at least finish college & get their degree #Sometimes CW enjoys turning off his future-vision and vibing as a mostly-mortal #And Gotham is an old war buddy of his (Yes Gotham is the city equivalent of an Ancient) from the [Redacted] era of the Realms #And xer son & daughter are adorable- Bludhaven & Arkham love the vigilantes lots

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile. #This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature. #But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly' #My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out. #Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth. #I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity- #-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly. #Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose. #You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok #Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards. #Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever. #To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss. #Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'. #described in alt text #I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day

[fortheloveofexy]

it's a pet peeve of mine when ppl frame Andrew as hating Aaron and being needlessly cruel to him... bc while yes, their relationship is fractured and strained, Andrew genuinely cares about his brother and wants the best for him, he just doesn't know how to show that in a normal way.

like he might not know how to express it in a healthy manner but Andrew LOVES Aaron, like he truly just wants Aaron to be healthy and safe. It's like, his whole Thing. Aaron is one of the most important people in his life. Andrew wants him around. He'd do anything to protect him.

I guarantee Andrew wants to be emotionally close to Aaron too, he just doesn't have the tools to do that and the thought of letting someone in terrifies him. He also has no concept of what a healthy sibling relationship looks like, so he has no frame of reference to work from.

#i love bickering twinyards as much as the next guy but sometimes ppl write andrew has if he thinks aaron is a waste of space #and that just isn't true #andrew values his brother #he wouldn't insist on keeping aaron close if he didn't #when ppl do this is just so obvious to me that they're using andrew as a mouthpiece for their own dislike of aaron #and like ok yeah you're entitled to not like a character i guess #but it's just so wildly out of character to me for andrew to treat aaron like shit for no reason beyond Being Cruel #like yeah andrew can be mean when he's feeling defensive or trying to make a point #and yeah he can treat people like shit if he's got a reason to justify it like Keeping People Safe #but he's not needlessly cruel to the people closest to him without cause #like neil says #everything andrew does #he does For A Reason #even neil isn't needlessly mean to aaron tbh #like he doesn't like aaron much at certain points but if he picks a fight with aaron it's never without cause #and he's genuinely happy for aaron when things work out with katelyn in the end #and he wants aaron to have a relationship with andrew as well! like it's important to neil that the twins have a healthy bond!! #anyway im getting off my soapbox now this is just something i was thinking about today a Lot #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #𓄿 #hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this #i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything #i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha #i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass #and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭 #i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise' #also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just #couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah #also uhhh this data is very subjective #i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call #also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them) #but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly #so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance #i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!! #but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol

[emry-stars-art]

↖️ Andrew needs some way to make the spurned and eavesdropping nearby noble even more angry, and if he can do it by being sweet with his guard/consort? What a shame 👀

So Abram returns the favor in a slightly different manner ↘️

Find the royal au masterpost here 💕

#Abram ONLY knows how to do things with/for the prince by being completely genuine about it #yeah andrew means what he says and does but there’s sometimes an excuse #usually it’s ‘i need to get these other people off my back so I’ll make it obvious who I’m interested in’ #but Abram? #he sees this and says ‘oh okay. I can do nice names too’ #‘I liked it when Andrew did it so let’s see how Andrew feels about it’ #and 100% of the time #Andrew dies inside #(in a good way) #now how often are these names *actually* spoken aloud? #probably not too often #but if it’s peppered amongst their letters that’s their business #fan art #my art #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #royal au #chibi

[skrunksthatwunk]

look i know the violence we saw from mine in y3 was largely caused by him losing daigo but i think it's way way funnier to imagine him doing regular tojo stuff with his beloved chairman and also being just an unfathomable and kind of unstable person only moments away from doing something drastic. like one good morning from rokudaime = one reset to mine's orphan-bulldozing doomsday clock

#see we know mine just does really extreme things sometimes (buying those taxi companies in rggo for their customer info to track daigo down) #(joining the yakuza to find a boy he can befriend) (etc) even when he's not in a mournful spiral #so while it's a little ooc it's not THAT ooc for him to have this hair trigger about stuff #i think it'd just be channeled into helping the tojo and extravagant gestures for daigo. healthier outlets than orphan traumatizing #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #mine yoshitaka #yoshitaka mine #minedai #i mean. yeah #yakuza 3 #yakuza #like a dragon #nyarla dni #I CANT STOP MINE BULLDOZER POSTING ITS SO FUCKINGFUNNY

[tepli-mravenci]

I find it funny how English speaking people use he/she pronouns for objects/animals as a way of showing endearment when there's multiple languages - including mine - that just gender objects and animal species in general

Table? Guy shaped.

Shoe? Girl shaped.

Door? They/them that bitch.

Cat? Girl until proven otherwise.

Dog? Boy until proven otherwise.

Pig? Let's not even bother, it's an it/its.

And that's just Czech. German has completely different genders for most of these things. And that goes for every other heavily gendered language. It's a curse really :)

#language #languages #langblr #czech #slavic #german #der die das babey #dem die den and so on #and then die is der sometimes #forgot when #I don't understand how the hell the gendering in MY language works how am i supposed to understand it in another language #and then there's the english speakers going 'look at that rock look at him' and you're like yeah that sure is der Rock #(disclaimer der Rock is actually 'skirt' in german...yes it's masculine...german said men in skirts rock ig) #i don't think rock is masculine in german is it? stein? is stein a rock or is that more like mountain? #a rock IS masculine in czech #looked it up and yes der Stein is masculine and it does mean rock #i would've sworn it was das Stein but then again I wasn't the best student

[the-stove-is-divorced]

Remembering I can draw fanart for my own fics, SO BEHOLD! The most mentally sound halves of a fusion imaginable! Technically a redraw of art I did way earlier for the same fic! Flexing my art muscles and thinking about these two is good for the soul. Love them. Bastards to write though. I can't wait to write them fused back together, but we're not here yet and it's AGONY.

#fanart for me #because it's mine haha #steven universe #my fics #steven universe future #steven universe fanart #pink steven #unfortunately steven 2.0 does not have pretty pink rose curls (just yet maybe ???) #we will see if that happens sooner or later #sometimes when you cant write cause u brain is mush you draw instead and that's just the honest truth of this world #i literally forget i can draw art for my own fics #I do not know why #steven universe au #i mean yeah technically steven unfuses in future au #as someone described it “steven if he was 2% more fucked up” #also ty for the bookmark that says “Plz this story has me feeling things I didn't know I could feel” devolve where ever u are #AND I WILL DESIGN STEVEN BACK TOGETHER CAUSE HE'S GONNA LOOK A LIL DIFF HEHE #lovingly been calling him steven 3.0 lol

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Hey do you think ya can explain Barnaby and his illusion smoke a bit? It seems really cool and I don't remember if ya talked about it in depth before

sure! this got a bit longer than i expected!

so i was thinking that Barnaby seems like more of a hands-off kinda guy when it comes to altercations. would rather sit back and make funny commentary! so if he Had to get involved, i imagine it would be from a distance and still in an Entertaining Way!

thus - illusion magic! for this au i've been picturing that he got his paws on some illusionary herb in his early teens. for making people laugh, you know! and help out with the farm - illusions could distract animals, convince them to move on to different pastures, calm the chickens for egg-collecting, etc!

Ms. Beagle didn't really approve, since smoking is harmful, but lucky for the both of them this particular plant doesn't deal as much damage when smoked as normal smoking materials would - like tobacco! something to do with the magic properties! so Barnaby mostly used it for chores (when his mama wasn't paying attention, ofc - it's still a bad habit in her eyes) and entertainment purposes.

how it works: on its own, it doesn't do much when burned. it's not like illusions will waft out of the pipe's bowl, or that sniffing it will give someone hallucinations. in order for it to work properly, the user has to inhale properly, form the Intent of what the illusion should be / look like / behave, then purposefully blow the smoke out with that thought firmly in mind. the reach of the smoke depends on the force of Intent, and the intensity depends on the amount inhaled. those that breathe it in / are surrounded by it will see hallucinations of whatever Barnaby - or whoever the user is - wants them to! it can be literally anything! whether or not the target is fooled depends entirely on the individual, but the herb is potent enough that most are convinced that what they "see" is real (auditory hallucinations only occur if the target breathes in the smoke)

upsides: this form of magic is great for distractions, cover, deescalation, and that kind of thing. if needed, Barnaby could stop a fight with one exhale! it's a pretty powerful trick! it also means that Barnaby has built up a tolerance to illusion magic over the years, so where most of the party would be tricked, Barnaby would be unfazed. the only one with total immunity to the form of magic is Wally!

downsides: if Barnaby uses too much in too short of a time, it will get to him. and since he breathes in the largest amount - undiluted at that - it can fuck him up! using it sparingly / using repeated small amounts doesn't do anything. the most it will do is make him feel slightly untethered, but he has an easy time ignoring it / shaking it off.

in mild cases of the magic getting to him, it's like a bad trip. his proprioception is messed with (basically he gets uncharacteristically clumsy & off-balance), he feels like he's falling, anxiety spikes, and his vision is just... off! there are blind spots (im talking actual blind spots, not spots of black), things are moving in ways that they shouldn't, he has mild auditory hallucinations. the others can help ground him by talking to him, touching him, and confirming what's real and what isn't.

in bad cases, it's like that but 10 times worse. on top of all of the previous symptoms being worsened, he gets extremely vivid hallucinations, and they're very often not fun! it's a simultaneous feeling of dying, going insane, and not knowing what the fuck is going on. Barnaby loses sense of where he is, who's where, what's happening. he can get lost in the hallucinations - he has no way to know that they aren't real. in these terrible trips, no one can really help him. they can't get through the hallucinations, and if they do, the magic morphs Barnaby's perception of them and they end up adding to the effects. honestly the best thing for him is to let him rest somewhere with as little sensory input as possible & leave him be until he starts to come down. physical contact does help, since Barnaby understands on an instinctive level that illusions can't touch him, but it doesn't help half as much as it does w/ the mild trips. and again, the presence of someone can make the hallucinations worse.

so! suffice to say! he doesn't like using the herb all that often, and it's why he Stays Out Of It unless absolutely needed. he has two pouches of the herb - one with the strong stuff, reserved for emergencies / one with just a tiny bit of it mixed in with Barnaby's own personal blend for recreational/everyday use. (he also has an emergency tobacco stash in his pack, but that's only for when he's completely out of his usual blend <3)

extra lil scribble that didn't make it into the lil doodle post... i broke his wrist...

#the undiluted one is the blue/purple/pink smoke #while the personal blend changes color depending on his mood #and the personal blend does Not cause illusions! #the herb is included in the blend for cosmetic effects - colorful smoke! - and it has calming affects #so its. yeah its rgb weed last person nailed it on the head #rambles from the bog #wh fantasy au #the other day i was thinking about howdy's first adventure with the neighborhood #and i was like 'ok situation where barnaby has to use a tad too much of the magic' #and i amused myself imagining howdy's shock and panic when barnaby - steady graceful barnaby #staggers a little. looks up at the trees/skies. goes 'oh no' and promptly stumbles and falls on his face. and then just does not get back u #he has to go get poppy to make sure he isnt hurt / also howdy would Not be able to half-drag barn back to camp on his own #that dog is dead weight and staggering all over the place - if they can even unstick his claws from where he's anchored himself #sometimes barnaby will feel the unpleasant trip Incoming and he'll just. lie down right there and then #facedown. gripping the grass like his life depends on it - and also whoever's closest #frank always leaps out of the way when barn starts to Sway bc he does not want to sacrifice his arm for a solid few hours #usually wally is the one to sit with him and happily get his arm bones squeezed into dust <3 #a common thing is barnaby will be like 'the trees/sky is melting and the ground is turning inside-out' #what does that mean! no one knows! he cant explain it when he sobers up!

[craycraybluejay]

yeah yeah you hate me I'm an evil disgusting perverted manwhore we have each other blocked everywhere blah blah but I know you still jerk off to me and I know it makes you hate yourself a bit because you don't have the strength to accept the darker parts of your desire. but you can't help yourself and I take pleasure in the knowledge.

#this pussy makes homosexual men hate themselves !! #this tdick makes you want to kill yourself !! #this wretched and desirous personality has captivated you so !! #pussy change your life like im god~ they always fall in love not my fault~ #im never pickin up when they call~ #<- song lyrics #you want to fuck me so bad it makes you act stupid !! #im genuinely not mad people are generally going to end up hating themselves too much to be chill #but i am having a wild laugh bc this mf who told me i'm a gross freak also told me that he has sex dreams about me regularly #like yeah ok faggot #watch this loser text me in like a year apologizing for being a judgy little bitch begging me to respond LMFAO #thank u next hoe !! #idk its extra liberating to not only decide to be more choosy but also to know they obsessed #how's the vanilla boyfriend taste? can he get you off 7 times in a row? does he make you feel free and hedonistic? #anyway yeah im just being mean here bc its a mood boost i would not say this shit to anyone lmao #trust me bro i am literally the last person to cross the line when i get emotional (usually excited sometimes angry or horny) #ok no im a little prone to excitedly infodumping for 8 hrs but i try not to offend people #making enemies for no reason is a terrible idea

[kaladinkholins]

guys cmon. be ffr please. akemi did Not love taigen. the only reason why she was desperate to search for him to the point of putting herself in danger is because she didn't want to get married to an abusive man (which she believed at the time that takayoshi was). when seki tried to dissuade her from running off, her reason was not "but i love taigen and wanna be with him 🥺" it was because she refused to be controlled and have her autonomy taken from her; she literally says "i won't be locked away in edo married to a stranger." and when seki still tries to argue that getting married to the heir of the shogun would be better than getting caught by brigands, she then says "that kind of man"—referring to takayoshi—"treats women like animals. they say he's a tyrant." and when seki chuckles and says "what man isn't?" her response is "you." she doesn't even talk about taigen. she is using him as much as he was using her. they both see—or, well, saw—each other as means to an end. for taigen he saw that marrying into the tokunobu clan would elevate his status and wealth. for akemi she wanted the right to choose who she married, and she wanted that person to be someone kind. that's it! neither of them loved each other. but since they were courting of course they acted sweet to each other, and they do still care for one another, especially due to their romantic history. but let's be real! akemi is a boss bitch who dropped taigen and forgot all about his ass as soon as she saw takayoshi was a nice guy. because duh? not only is takayoshi a better lover (it's implied their lovemaking lasted a long time) but he's also kinder towards her and presents her with an opportunity to claim power and freedom, which she would not have if she had married taigen, as she would have still been stuck under her father's thumb. so literally why should she settle for taigen's stupid ass! she may be a little naive at times but she's still incredibly intelligent. she would not do something stupid for the sake of "love." you know who would though? taigen.

#blue eye samurai #wank.mp3 #kinda? #fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #like out of the 4 main characters #akemi is the brains (the mental aspect) #she mainly uses reason and rhetoric. that's why she's so good at persuasion and manipulation. #ringo is the soul (spiritual aspect) #ringo serves as the show's moral compass and gets mizu to follow her morality #taigen is the heart (emotional aspect) #taigen will always impulsively follow his feelings (he's so brash for this reason. if he feels angry he will act on it etc) #mizu is the body (physical aspect) #mizu suppresses her emotions. her reason. and her morals. she only lets her skills and primal instincts guide her. #that's why she's almost super human sometimes #but anyway yeah #akemi? is a strong-willed self-empowered woman! she is not some damsel. she is intelligent though somewhat naive #please do not mischaracterise her cuz she is a boss bitch! she is a queen a cuntress a baddie #also on that note. the nature of taigen and akemi's rship is one of the reasons why im not keen on a polycule ending #like please explore it in fanfic and fandom! i personally just dont want it canon. i just dont see it working! #like literally i dont even think taigen found her attractive... #i mean he did obv find her very beautiful as everyone does. but did yall SEE his face when she propositioned him? #no desire in that man's eyes. he is GAY! his sexuality is men + mizu. he is a raging and bitchy bisexual!

[imminent-danger-came]

I was rewatching s2 last night, and ohhh man mk looks over mei so much it's not even funny. times mei has been ignored:

maybe you need to really listen! (during the blindfold ep)

mk just? grabs stuff she's using out of her hands all the time? (video game ep)

maybe you shouldn't skip the tutorials? (video game ep again)

the way he addresses her in dumpling destruction and then immediately pushes her aside for tang

i honestly remember it lowkey kinda bothering me on first watch but now it's REALLY egregious on rewatch. are you scared? I'm so scared. do you WANT to end up like shadowpeach MK

2x03 is so rude because the whole fucking episode they're like "MK you don't listen" and it's so true. He doesn't. Pigsy literally points it out again at the end of 4x14 with the whole sun screen bit:

Pigsy: "Tch, don't bother, I've been telling him that for years but he LITERALLY never listens." Sun Wukong: "Yep! That's how we role."

-

THEY'RE SO FUCKING RUDE. "That's how we role." We. We????? Wukong and MK???? Like WHATEVER. FINE. (("I told you going against the Jade Emperor was a bad idea, but no. Wukong doesn't listen to ANYONE! He just does whatever he wants" Like shut up. Shut up!))

MK gets so stuck in his own head ("You're all stuck up in your own head! None of this is your fault!" +1 to the MK ignoring Mei counter from 4x08) and I think that really contributes to his s2 scramble to get more powerful.

LIKE:

MK: "Stop? Now? Never! I just have to try harder. It's just like the Monkey King said! *laughs manically* I just need to get stronger!"

(2x06 Game On)

VS

MK: "Why didn't he just stop, right here? He was already so much stronger than anyone ever needed to be!" Macaque: "Wukong didn't think so, he always felt he had to be stronger—more immortal."

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

(Bonus thing between eps 2x03 and 2x06, look at 0:42 in this video for MK hearing Mei but not listening to her. Because of course that's what he would do. *head in my hands .png*)

The terrible s2 choices both Wukong and MK make in relation to their friends is just absolutely delicious after 4x11. Like, OH. This has been a lifelong pattern of Wukong's—paranoia is one of his fatal flaws (paired with his terrible communication and self-sacrificial nature), and while he had the power to stop LBD before he still feel's the need to go after the Samadhi Fire to stop her now, and to protect MK.

Hold on look at this parallel that I don't know what to do with:

MK: "Ugh, I can't do it!"

Mei: "It's alright MK—you did it before, you'll do it again!" Sandy: "Yeah! Maybe it's like Monkey King said: the power will come when you need it most!"

(3x04 The Winning Side)

-

MK: "What! But you said the Samadhi fire was the only thing that could stop her!" Sun Wukong: "I KNOW WHAT I SAID! But I've beaten her before I'll- I'll do it again! Mei was right—I need to stop dragging you into my fights, all of you."

(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

-

Wukong and MK's reach for power inspires a lot of fear in me! It does! Because, well, MK's current reach for power is going to lead him to his Monkey Form, and uh:

Like I'm scared. I'm scared!

"All doomed to play a role in tearing this world apart!" ; "This is Azure's utopia, and this barren wasteland is the price he paid to build it." ; "I'd do anything for my friends! But at the cost of the world?" "I'm sorry pal, ain't NOTHIN' worth that price!"

#I've said it once and I'll say it again: 2x06 is one of the MOST retroactively mean episodes #Game motif. The callback that 4x10 does. Whatever the fuck is going on with the MK and SWK parallels in that ep #I hate lmk's exchange theme I hate it. Like FUCK #Anyways #asks #wlw-wukong #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk MK #lmk SWK #lmk Sun Wukong #lmk analysis #lmk theme: exchange #fuckasdfoqweg #Sandy saying ''Helping my friends is more important than anything in the world!'' in 2x08 vs #''I get it! I'd do anything to help my friends! But at the cost of the world?'' in 4x13 is SICK. SICK IT'S SICK #Sometimes it's like. Hmmm. ''If you aren't doing everything in your power to help your friends you are nothing!'' #''I'd watch my sword shatter 1000 times so long as I used it to protect the ones I care about'' #I'm telling you Mei would choose MK over the world. I'M TELLING YOU #MK'S ALREADY CHOSEN MEI OVER THE WORLD (thank you 3x10) AND PIGSY/TANG/SANDY OVER THE WORLD (4x02) #MK really went: ''Oh releasing this curse could end the world? Well I'll risk it for my friends!'' and I went ''ohhhh nooooooooo'' #WE ARE IN SOME DEEP SHIT IN S5 #And Wukong? Lol of course he's choosing the people he cares about over the world. No surprise there. #He's like ''yeah I'll go fight the jade emperor to finally be strong enough''. If eamk theory proves true he like #Chose MK over the world initially #And he was totalllyyy willing to sacrifice LBD's child host to protect his friends (MK)/the world #I'm. AUGHGHG. #''It's what he would do if he had to. That's the hard part of being a hero!'' OKAY BUT MEI WOULD YOU DO THAT SO EASILY IF IT WERE MK #ME THINKS NO #ME THINKS YOU WOULD NOT

[aq2003]

it IS weird that the general consensus on twelve is that peter capaldi is an excellent actor but his episodes are bad (esp in comparison to the general consensus on series 5 being that it's some of the best the show gets) bc i am overall really enjoying series 8, a lot more than the last 3

#eleven had a bunch of episodes that were just hard to follow and thus hard (for me) to emotionally engage in #twelve is awful to people and this does deeply suck sometimes esp when it's just very unneeded #like insulting danny's intelligence or being randomly mean to courtney (what would i give for her and twelve to be given more time #and fleshed out a bit. why does he initially take her into the tardis? can we see more of that?) #but god. is mr capaldi bringing his 1000% everything to this role #those monologues ohhh yeah baby. all the episodes are leaning into the doctor feeling their age and the weight of the universe #w not much left to shield themself from that. so like. i buy it. he's just so fun to watch #and i know he gets like. progressively nicer as his era goes on so i have that to look forward to #dr who #i am being picky abt how clara is written bc im now measuring her against the standards of martha and donna #two of my fav characters in the whole show. by m*ffat standards s8 clara is blowing everybody out of the water #12 era

[thickenmyblood]

hi maca :) do u already know when you can post chapter 20? im so sad about hiuh ending but also so excited for some happiness :( also, will it really only be 20 chapters or will you add one or two more? in any case, thanks so much for all the time and effort you put into this! I loved every second I spent reading this fic <3

hello!!! well, i was supposed to post ch20 on feb 1st . . . but that obviously did not happen. this month is the month though!!!! I'll try to make it happen before march.

about the chapter: yes, it's the last chapter ever. there will be no more. ever. honestly, I don't think you'll want another chapter after this considering the rough draft I'm working with is 250 PAGES

#anon #hiuh #ch20 will NOT be 250 pages #so don't even be like oof no one's gonna read that much blablabla #i'm TRIMMING IT #i'm giving it a shave #i was making good progress before the power went out lol #and yes there is happiness this chapter STOP WORRYING IM GONNA MAKE IT SAD I WONT #i mean yeah there are always sad bits but if you read ch20 and say it's a sad ending i'm kms #AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOUUUUU #sometimes i sit here and think that this is the culmination of 3-4 years of work and i'm like what the actual fuck #somebody sedate me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i also think of all the shit i wrote and never posted and i'm like what's wrong with me like ???????? girl #anyway yeah disabled laurent lives on in my mind and so does the camping trip fic and so does ur mom's dick

[cosmicbucket]

evil?? overworked??? you decide <3

#in seriousness though #i imagine that ralsei has outbursts sometimes due to repressing a lot of his emotions #and as selfless as he is it does mean that he struggles with articulating healthy boundaries #so context here would be capn is just trying to vibe w rals and feels unappreciated in his attempts to ‘cheer him up’ etc. #and uh. #yeah #they’re teenagers i feel like they’d be bad at talking sometimes #capsei #deltarune #capn deltarune #ralsei deltarune #cosmic creations #<- art tag