#I honestly didn’t realise what this was about until I’d finished it

[jegulusposts]

I wrote this and then realised it sounds like Regulus wrote it for James so here you go!

#sorry if this is bad #I honestly didn’t realise what this was about until I’d finished it #regulus black #regulus arcturus black #r.a.b #james potter #james fleamont potter #jegulus #Starchaser #sunseeker #dead gay wizards #the marauders era #marauders era #the marauders #dead gay wizards from the 70s #harry potter #mwpp #mwpp era #sad girl poetry #sad boy poetry

[spaceman-earthgirl]

Supercorptober 2023 Day 18: Lena

(Just a heads up, I won't be posting over the next few days (until the 24th at the earliest) as I'll be out of town. I hope you enjoy this one!)

ao3 fic link. series link.

Lena Luthor is nothing like Kara expects.

She’s beautiful, which Kara did know before meeting her, she’s seen photos, done enough research into Lex to know who she is, but seeing a photo and seeing her in front of her are two separate things.

She’s absolutely stunning, and Kara is having a hard time focusing on what Clark and Lena are saying.

Kara knew Lena was smart, you have to be to be CEO of a company like Luthor Corp. But she’s sharp, and witty, and clever in a way that makes Kara want to find a way to drag this conversation out, just to hear her talk more.

Kara expects lies from Lena, expects deceit, things she’s become accustomed to whenever the Luthor name is involved. Maybe Lena is just better at it than the rest of her family, but Kara can’t help but believe her as Lena speaks.

And then Lena is talking about her family and being adopted and wanting to make a name for herself outside of her family and Kara totally understands, feels it even more strongly with Clark standing by her side.

Lena hands Clark a flash drive and Kara just knows, she can feel it, that Lena is telling the truth, that they can trust Lena.

Not that she can tell Clark that, so she does something dumb, something that Clark would definitely disapprove of, something she spends absolutely zero time thinking about (which is honestly sometimes for the best) and she quickly places her notebook down on the edge of Lena’s desk. Quick enough that neither of them notice, not even Clark.

They leave Lena’s office, and Kara already maybe regrets her plan a little, but it’s too late now, because Lena has her notebook and she needs it back.

“Shoot,” Kara says as she steps onto the elevator with Clark. “I left my notebook behind, I’ll meet you outside.”

She steps out of the elevator as the doors close, leaving a confused looking Clark behind.

Kara takes a couple of deep breaths before knocking on Lena’s office door.

“Sorry, I left my-“

“Notebook?” Lena finishes, holding up the book in her hand.

“Yeah, sorry,” Kara stammers. “I’m not used to this reporter thing. Not that I’m a reporter, I was just here with Clark, which you know, so I mean…” Kara trails off, realising she’s rambling when Lena tilts an eyebrow up. “Sorry,” Kara says for a third time.

“Don’t be sorry, but I am curious as to why you left this here. Don’t think I didn’t catch you leaving it on my desk.”

Kara is pretty sure her cheeks were already red after her little ramble, but now she feels her whole face flush at being caught.

Kara takes a deep breath. Again, she’s not sure what she expected coming back here, not sure entirely what she wanted, but she may as well be honest, there’s no point in lying now. She’s embarrassed herself already, what’s a little more?

“I didn’t have a plan exactly, was more of a spur of the moment thing. But I didn’t want to leave without telling you that Clark might not believe you but I do. I’ll figure out why the Venture exploded and prove to Clark he can trust you too.”

“I’m not sure Mr Kent is very quick to trust.”

“He’s my cousin, I’ll make him see reason.” Kara hesitates. She could leave it there, but she has one more thing she wants to say. She’s never usually this forward but something about Lena feels like it’s pulling her in, and she wants to know more. “The other reason I came back is I wanted to ask for your number because I know I’d regret it if I never saw you again. I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

There’s that eyebrow raise again, this time Kara can tell Lena is surprised.

Lena picks up a pen and scribbles something on the notebook before she hands it back to Kara.

“Thank you,” Lena says, and Kara can tell she’s being sincere. “Not many people trust me because of my name, and I’ve never met anyone like you before either.”

Lena smiles and Kara feels her knees go weak.

“Have a good day, Miss Danvers.”

“You too, Miss Luthor,” Kara replies with her own smile, feeling more confident that Lena hasn’t laughed at her or had her thrown out. “I’ll see you around?”

“I hope so.”

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp fanfic #supercorptober2023

[turquoisemagpie]

Q&A JSE egos.

No surprises that since my part in helping Sean come up with ego content has been revealed, I’ve had a lot of the same questions asked. So here they are:

When will we get ego content?

Soon. I can’t give specific dates, mainly because we have no idea ourselves when stuff will be posted. It’s good to guess that most release dates will be significant dates (the anniversaries of certain videos, the birthdays of some egos, etc.) but then again as soon as something is finished, we’re eager to post immediately, so it could be any day really. Just keep your eyes open.

What’s in store?

I can’t say. I’m still working with Sean and thus still under a contract. But I can’t and won’t say what’s to come mostly because I like suspense. I know some people get very agitated not knowing what’s to come, but we want this stuff to be a surprise for everyone; if I told you everything to come, it would ruin that. As of this point in time, any actual hints I can give will refer to past videos, but I will give nothing on future videos or content until the immediate time comes. So don’t ask about specific egos or what will happens to them, your answers will come officially through Sean, not me.

How did you get to work with Sean?

… Even I’m not sure of that. Sean approached me out of nowhere asking for some help, and it’s all carried on from there. I didn’t approach him, I didn’t hassle him, all I did was carry on as I usually do in my day to day life. It’s was quite literally luck that this happened. Although I won’t deny that my portfolio of septicart over the past 5 years may have increased up my chances. But I’d like to put this forward to those who seem like something tricky happened for my to get where I am: sometimes things happen out of literal chance, no amount of hard work or destiny can fully determine where you go in life. For me, this opportunity is the biggest example of that.

What’s it like working with Sean?

It’s great. Once you get past the idolisation of any person, and realise that they really are ‘just some guy’, talking normally is great. Sean is more creative than he thinks he is and his skills will get him anywhere he wants to go; he just needs that little push in confidence to get started, and I’m glad that I was able to do that for him.

Can I get to work with him?

Don’t bet on it. Essentially: don’t hassle me or Sean or anyone else who’s already in this project. Those who are already in this project have been selected because they’re fit for the job, and it’s a heck of a job. There is a lot more to building characters, writing stories, and filming videos than you think. So if you only want to be in the project only for the notoriety, I suggest you re-evaluate your priorities.

Can you tell Sean “____”?

No. I’m not his messenger now. And honestly you’d be surprised how much he sees of what you post and just doesn’t interact with the post. I won’t tell him, because most likely, he already knows.

#jacksepticeye #jse community #jse egos

[sentienttoastah]

Someone mentioned in the reblogs of the last post about their preferred interpretation of Moby Dick and after seeing that I had a little personal thought discussion of my own in my brain and like ahahsjsjs it made me so happy

I just love looking at this book in a more serious way than I usually do so thank you to whoever that was :)

And speaking of, I think from now on I’ll give actual (only occasional!) literary commentary on Moby Dick for these Daily Dick posts because I cannot discuss this book with anyone else except the internet so yes. But for the sake of those who only want to see funky whale drawings I will keep them under the post’s cuts!!

Plus if I didn’t the post would be ungodly long.

Today, I tried to draw a bit of the crew but then I remembered I suck at drawing humans so even more extremely and unnecessarily green shaded Moby instead. Didn’t have much time so I just gave that fella the Outlast camcorder filter treatment. Dw, the cameraman is fine. Don’t like how this turned out though :(

I want to draw whale skeletons tomorrow :D

Anyways, delusional whale ranting time. Be warned this is way longer than my last one and will contain spoilers for those who haven’t finished the book!

So the reblog tag I saw went along the lines of interpreting Moby Dick as not a god but to have the reader doubt that fact throughout the book until the end because of the descriptions we get of him and honestly, yes. I absolutely agree on that for the original novel. It gives us dread while reading!!

Although I will say that if we were to add/accept some kind of mysticism to Moby Dick and see him as not only a whale and as something else, he still wouldn’t be a “god”. Yet at the same time he isn’t exactly a whale either. Or at least not a normal one (that much is clearly obvious I suppose). Like if that’s not a god then what is a god? And if that’s not a whale what is it? It’s all vague!!

One of the many messages or themes in Moby Dick is humanity’s constant struggle against the unknown and the uncertain. We all fear the unknown in one way or another whether we realise it or not. Why else do we dread our future? Or what will happen tomorrow? Or what will happen after death? Because we don’t know.

With Moby Dick we understand that he’s described as a massive white whale who is known to wreak havoc among sailors. But aside from that what else do we actually know about Moby? The only information we get about him all come from 3rd party sources (such as that other whaling crew they met at chapter 54) and then through Ishmael as our narrator. Like Ishmael himself has only encountered Moby Dick once. How do we know if the information he got from others is true?

And even if it was true it still doesn’t tell us a lot about Moby Dick. We don’t understand why he attacks ships, was he angry? Was he in pain? Was it his own form of revenge? Or was he genuinely just trying to mind his own business? We don’t understand how he became so intelligent, or whether it really was Moby Dick that they saw in the apparitions of chapter 51 or was it just a squid like we see in a later chapter? If it was Moby why was he following them?

The vagueness of Moby Dick’s position in being either whale or something else makes him haunting. So in my own interpretation I’d say to keep the final verdict completely undecided. He appears, then disappears. As only one of the many horrors of the deep. Moby Dick isn’t a horror book by any means but it is about the ocean, the ocean just so happens to be scary because we haven’t truly discovered everything it has to offer. Who knows what’s down there?

Also, not only the fear or mystery he gives to us as the readers but to the crew in the story as well. Moby Dick took victory from doing what other whales the crew have hunted never do. He was “unpredictable” as described. That wraps back to the beginning where I mentioned humanity’s struggles against the unknown and uncertain. But yet, even when we fear what we don’t know we are constantly challenging it still. We’re intrigued by it. Ishmael does so by wanting to learn more about whales and go off on more voyages despite his experience the first time around, and the pequod crew or most notably Ahab does so by challenging Moby Dick.

Speaking of Ahab, he himself can also be compared to Moby Dick’s unpredictability. He might not be vaguely god-like as Moby is, but there’s definitely something about him. Ishmael even quotes something about a mad man, a man who has let go of all rationality and morality, to be more dangerous than any beast. Why? Because he will become an unpredictable man. A man who will do anything to get what he desires even at the cost of others. Which is exactly what Ahab does. Humans are already dangerous enough when we understand them but when we don’t understand them? Even more dangerous no doubt.

That’s why his crew feared him after all. They didn’t know and nor did they want to know what would happen if they disobeyed him. Even Ahab doesn’t understand himself as he mentioned in the chapter with Starbuck. Why does he do the things he do? For revenge? For glory? For gold? He doesn’t understand except the fact he knows (or feels?) he has to. And it’s tragic.

In conclusion; aside from accepting differences, democracy, and the dangers of unhealthy obsession or copious amounts of whale anatomy, Moby Dick is also about the unknown and the uncertain. There’s a lot of other instances like Starbuck’s hesitation and Fedallah’s entire existence but I don’t want to drag out the rant for too long and obviously I’m not the first person to come up with this.

But what do you think? And thank you to anyone who actually read all my crap frfr 🙏🐟

#moby dick #art #DAILY DICK!! #literature #discussion #I love the fictional sailors they’re so goofy

[undercoverpena]

Im one of those people that are wildly curious more about helen and simon's life outside the task force and all the things they do together, just enjoying the "moment" to themselves.

It's really hard to think of anything specific but maybe a day in life of helen and simon(not ghost for the moment) does that make sense? I also realize that you probably get asked about them alot but honestly they're like a virus to some of us it seems 😂

i don’t mind being asked about them. i’ll be honest and admit there are times i’m baffled how people love them — but that’s my self-depreciation for you ✨

they’re very mundane. moments all quiet and soft that spread with ease between them as they just sit together on the sofa. he’ll pull her legs over his lap, hand on them as the other holds a mug on the arm of the chair.

simon will pretend he’s not paying any attention to what is on the television—but he knows all the characters to the shit show she’s put on.

he discoveres she’s become obsessed with burning autumnal candles, even in winter and spring. something warm, almost with a hint of spice, and it slides up his nose, but he never complains. it isn’t until he smells a particular one that reminds him of when she’d first moved in with him. his lips twitching into a smirk, realising the scent reminds her of him.

not the first night they get back, but the second is always a “friday” night, and by that they order food in, wear the comfiest clothes (if many at all) and try to eat as much of what they ordered. they never finish.

when they finally get their dog, they’ll go on long walks with no purpose or aim. he’ll take the lead whenever he’s there, and she’ll loop her arm through his as they trudge in mud, rain, snow, sunshine or fog. she doesn’t complain, even if the tip of her nose is cold and she’s shivering when he helps her slide her wellies off.

at night, when she’s curled up in their bedsheets, he’ll find her eyes are on him. a comfortable silence hanging between them. it makes him want to roll closer, pull her by the hips against him and let her curl into him. she only does it sometimes—he only likes it sometimes—but here, at home, he prefers it.

until she speaks.

“i think we should redecorate the bathroom—“

“—you’ve only just had it done.”

“yeah, well. i didn’t realise I’d like baths when we had it done.”

“go to sleep, helen. for fuck sake.”

#asked and answered #kind souls #anon #ghost x helen #simon x helen #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley headcanons #simon ghost riley x helen #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost riley x reader

[nettlestingsoup]

hi!! i dunno if you've answered these ones already, but 5, 6, 8 and 16 for the new years asks pls!! i hope you had a nice christmas and that 2024 is a great year for you 💛💛

hi!! thank you for sending these! i've answered 6 here for honey and 8 here for spook; i answered 5 for sunny but i realised i forgot to post a snippet! @the-sunshine-dragon i'm sorry, i'll redo this answer here!

5: the red thread au, tentatively titled being human with you, is the first one i want to finish this year! here's the snippet i forgot to post the first time i answered:

“Seungmin,” Hyunjin says as he steps through the curtain, tumbles of pearl-pink and faded red and sweet magnolia white sliding from his shoulders; one or two of them catch briefly on his collar or his hair like they don’t quite want to let him go, but Hyunjin doesn’t seem to notice. He just smiles, his gaze caught on Seungmin as though he’s the only thing standing in the gallery at all, and says his name again. “Seungmin! I was worried I’d lost everyone when I saw you’d all gone inside. Glad you didn’t get far.” He draws himself up to his full height, the roses finally falling from his shoulders as he takes a few steps forward, and Seungmin just looks at him for a moment, not entirely sure what to say. He still isn’t used to being looked at like this - to having anyone’s undivided attention on him. “Minho and Chan are here somewhere,” is what he blurts out in the end, and immediately wonders if it might be the wrong thing to say; he’d promised himself that he’d let Hyunjin lead here, after all, and the last thing he wants is for Hyunjin to think that Seungmin is trying to get him to leave. But Hyunjin just laughs. “Oh, I’ll never find them,” he says. “Minho takes museums at a strange pace, and Chan goes wherever he does. I’ll walk with you, if that’s alright?”

16: i have around 40k of an absolutely wild au i started called the wars i'd wage for you, also known as the odysseus au. it involved seungmin, minho, and hyunjin being possessed by three fragments of an alien consciousness and being kept in a facility for experimentation, and chan, changbin, felix, jisung, and jeongin breaking them out (the ships were chanjin, seungbin, jeonglix, and minsung). it was quite dark - seungmin and changbin's plot involved seungmin experiencing a lot of violence and mistreatment from the scientists other than changbin, and minho and jisung's involved minho undergoing experiments into his healing capacity that involved causing him consistent harm and putting him under frequent anaesthesia that left him with memory loss - and very complex plot-wise, and i think if i went back to it i'd be genuinely quite overwhelmed by the mess i left it in. the entire 40k of it is also in past tense, and i would have to wrangle it into present. this is probably not the year i fix it, but we'll see what happens if i blitz through my other projects!

thank you so much for these asks! i'd honestly forgotten about the odysseus au entirely until i dredged my wip folder <3

#asks #starchasing-cryptid #genuinely can't believe i have 40k of that au #and some of it is GOOD #some of it is REALLY GOOD #stray kids fic #ao3 author

[blackberrysummerblog]

WIP Wednesday!!

Thank you for the tags, @cutestkilla and @palimpsessed! I’m still working away on my fic for erotic gropefest (and thank you too to everyone who liked or reblogged my post from that on Sunday, it was really great to get the encouragement 🥰)

Soooo I’m working on two things other than that, but mostly still my crucible marriage AU, so that’s what I’ll post an excerpt from today. This is still at the garden party reception, after Simon and Baz have, uh, finished up in the mudroom. I almost posted the bit with Mordelia that’s referenced here, but maybe this scene with Fiona has more value. Thanks for reading; tags are under the cut! (Sorry if I tagged anyone who already posted, I continue to be a tumblr fail)

Simon

Baz’s hair is gleaming in the sunlight, and I want to kiss him again until all these people take the hint and leave. I can’t imagine why his dad wanted to throw a party in the first place, except I guess it’s tradition, and tradition seems to have a stranglehold on these old-money families. What a way to live.

Merlin, Baz’s bratty sister is talking to Fiona after all—I’d thought she was just making idle threats. But no, she points right at us, and then—shit, she’s crossing her wrists behind her back. I didn’t think she’d noticed that, but Mordelia doesn’t miss a trick. A slow smile spreads over Fiona’s face as she turns to look at us and takes in my expression. She knows I know that she knows, and she’s going to give us hell over it for sure.

———————————————————————————————————-

As much as I try to avoid her, I end up bang across the table from Fiona while making a pass at the buffet, and I can’t help thinking she’s made sure it happened. “Hello, Simon,” she says loudly, voice dripping with feigned delight. “Haven’t seen much of you today.”

I try to look nonchalant. “I’ve been around.”

Unfortunately, this only gives her the opening she’s been looking for, and Fiona’s not one to leave an opportunity unpounced upon. I swear she and Baz are the spitting image of each other, the way one eyebrow arches nearly to her hairline. “Been tied up, have you?”

“I wasn’t tied up,” I hiss furiously, leaning across the table. So much for playing it cool.

I have my plate in both hands, and Fiona grabs my arm with shocking speed, dragging it forward until I’m forced to either give in or spill my food everywhere. “No rope marks, at least,” she concedes, examining my wrist below my rolled-up cuff. “Honestly, the state of you, Chosen One,” she accuses, smirking. “You’ve gone red as a dragon. It’s no concern of mine what Baz does to you.”

To me. Like I’m a possession to be used as he sees fit. Merlin, I can feel the heat building inside me, the uncontrolled danger of my very existence, and bloody Fiona Pitch is just standing there looking at me with that smug—

There’s an arm around my waist, and then Baz rests his chin on my shoulder and sighs. “Is this hedge witch bothering you, love?” He stands up straight and pulls me closer so he can kiss the mole on my right cheek; I can feel that he’s smiling as he does it, and I relax, leaning into him. I realise then that Fiona is still holding my arm; I’m stuck between them like the filling in a Pitch sandwich. (A Pitchwich.) (Merlin, I hate myself.)

“Your Simon and I are just having a nice little chat, aren’t we, dear?” Fiona purrs. She doesn’t look the least bit sincere.

“For Crowley’s sake, Fi. It’s our reception; could you put your claws away for one day?” Baz sounds exasperated, and not at all intimidated. I’ll have to ask him how he does that—his aunt is well terrifying.

“It’s fine,” I say, and thank magic, my voice doesn’t shake. “I was just getting a snack.”

Baz’s eyes graze over my heaped plate. “For how many mountain trolls?” he teases, stepping back. “Snakes, Snow, I don’t know where you put it.”

Before I can retort, one of the twins grabs Baz’s hand and drags him away, babbling something about a missing lizard—Christ, that’s what this party needs, reptiles on the loose. Fiona hauls me forward again, smiling so innocently that I know she’s about to say something incredibly mean, and she doesn’t disappoint. “I don’t care what he does to you, Snow, but don’t go getting any ideas about reciprocating, do you understand me?” For half a moment, I think she’s talking about what we did in the mudroom, but then I realise she’s still on about what she thinks we did in the mudroom. She doesn’t want me tying up her precious nephew. “You’re not in charge here, Chosen One.”

I yank my arm free at last, spilling some sticky toffee cake onto the white tablecloth, but I don’t care. I still have plenty. “Get stuffed, Fiona.”

That startles a laugh out of her, and honestly sometimes I think Baz’s family might be all right if they didn’t hate my living guts. Still chortling, Fiona wanders off, leaving me to stare sullenly at my depleted stash of cake. There will probably be more if I want some later, I think. Maybe I should go back and grab a couple more pieces, though.

@thewholelemon @raenestee @thehoneyedhufflepuff @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @letraspal @shrekgogurt @dazed-squid @ileadacharmedlife @ionlydrinkhotwater @sailorblossoms @aristocratic-otter @facewithoutheart @rwithoutaspoon @onepintobean

#snowbaz #wip #crucible au #crucible marriage au

[slytherinqueen123]

a riddle, a malfoy, a zabini and a y/l/n

“riddikulus!”

i share a glance with blaise and mattheo before we blurt out in perfect unison, “this class is ridiculous!”

i double over laughing at the face malfoy makes, a hideous composition of anger and spite, with a little inkling of sarcasm.

“ha ha, very funny, you three. shut up about it. it’s been three years, it’s not even funny.” he says, rolling his eyes.

mattheo starts. “well, you see mister malfoy-”

“-we can’t really stop now.” blaise finishes.

malfoy makes another face. i lean back in my chair and toss a pen in the air. it narrowly avoids clashing the light, which earns me a steely glare from professor flitwick.

“sorry sir, i’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again!” i call, before turning to the boys and scoffing. “more like i’ll make sure it does.”

mattheo gives me a look. “that’s ridiculous.”

“this class is ridiculous!” blaise and i yell again, both collapsing in hysterics as malfoy makes to whack us.

“what? your iconic now, dray, you can’t deny it!” i shriek, dodging another hand flying in my direction and taking the opportunity to pin him back with a solid punch to the arm. he rubs the site of his injury and gets up.

“stuff you idiots. i’ve got better people to talk to than three loose canons who bully innocent-”

“ferrets?” i finish. he glares at us and struts over to pansy and her gaggle of princesses.

i sigh and lean back.

“how long till he comes back this time?” mattheo asks, watching draco sky away from the crowd of girls clambering for his attention.

blaise takes a moment to think before we all lock eyes.

“literally an hour.”

“like, till tonight.”

“not very long.”

we all know he’ll be back in no time. after all, he’s our best mate. we’re best mates.

• • •

a riddle, a malfoy, a zabini and a y/l/n. honestly, i don’t know why it didn’t happen sooner.

we met when theo, draco and blaise where 7, and i was 6. fancy purebloods throw parties all the time, and it just so happened we where all there at once.

being the tiny only daughter of my father, and him thinking i’m a fragile princess, i’d been dumped in a random room a hallway away from the party.

i’d tried everything. break out, scream, cry, beg, plead and even jump a window, but to no avail. i’d given up. exhausted from my failed mission, i’d flopped on a couch and waited for someone, anyone, to let me out.

i was sick of my dress, i was sick of my hair, i was sick of my loneliness and i was about to kick that door down myself, find my father and fight him.

i was practically asleep. uncountable rounds of exhaustion, anger and energy had worn me out, and i was staring at the ceiling wondering if i could smash the chandelier and whether or not it would attract enough attention if i acted dead. until i heard the tell tale creaking of the oversized door trapping me in, opening.

i was up in a flash, barreling towards that door, ready to beat up whoever had taken so long to get me.

“WHY HAS IT TAKEN YOU SO LONG? I’M PRACTICALLY DECEAS-” i was cut off by a hand covering my mouth, shoving me back into the room and slamming the door shut. i was mad, but scared too.

who had grabbed me?

i followed the hands arm and was met with a pair of dark brown eyes staring back at me, glassy and nursing a bloody cut halfway up his nose.

“can you help me?” the boy in the suit said. i stared back at him, confused. “i-”

“merlin, mattheo, that’s y/l/n’s daughter!” another voice said, emerging from behind bloody nose boy. he had rich dark skin and a puff of tight black curls.

“are you his daughter, girl?” the next voice belonged to a boy with pale skin and platinum blonde curtains. all three where wearing suits, each without ties.

“yeah. i’m his daughter, y/n. who the hell are you? and why’d you trap me back in here, you douchebags!” i shrieked, realisation dawning that they’d gotten me stuck back in my opulent prison.

“mattheo riddle.” bloody nose boy offered, smiling slightly under a mess of curls.

“blaise zabini, miss y/n.” curly hair said, giving me a slight nod and bow.

“malfoy. draco malfoy.” ghost man added.

i grinned. “cool. y’all wanna be friends? i’m kinda lonely, and i’m only six. not gonna lie, you’s don’t look like you’ve got all that many friends either.”

blaise shrugged. “just my dads bosses employees kids. i don’t know what they do. there’s a lot of them though. i hate parkinson, though. she’s annoying.”

draco shoved him. “oi, leave her alone. she’s not that bad.”

“you only say that because you’re in love with her, malfoy. no one in their right mind likes pansy parkinson.” mattheo shivered and spat her name like a curse.

i laughed. blaise turned around from his little fight with malfoy.

“she’s pretty. and smart. she looks fun. you can be friends with me, if you want.” he stuck his hand out and i shook it.

“you seem gutsy, miss y/n. i’m down if you are.” mattheo added. i nodded and smiled. “course’ i am.”

we all turned to malfoy. he was trying to smooth his shirt and didn’t notice us all staring. “what?”

mattheo knocked him on the head, still holding his bloody nose. “do you even listen to anyone but your old dad? do you wanna be friends with y/n or not, dumby!”

he looks me up and down. i do the same. “deal.”

i grin. “cool. then we’re friends.”

blaise shakes his head. “not just friends.”

“oh yeah?” draco asks.

“naw. best friends.” mattheo finishes.

• • •

that’s how it’s been ever since.

a riddle, a malfoy, a zabini and a y/l/n.

and that’s how it’s gonna stay.

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #mattheo x y/n #blaise zabini #draco lucius malfoy #draco x y/n #rich kids rp #pureblood boyfriend #boys #pretty girls #y/n x character #y/n y/l/n

[band--psycho]

Vander x Reader-A Healthy Relationship

My first Vander request! Honestly, I'm so happy with how this turned out!

I hope you all enjoy this 💛

Warnings: Toxic relationships, manipulation, alcohol,

Meeting Vander was the best thing that ever happened to me; and that is no word of a lie. Before him, I’d never really had much luck with men. I seemed to always fall for the men who seemed charming to start with but after a few months would show their toxicity. And even though every time I told myself to not fall so easily…I would, without meaning too, and that made it all the much harder to leave. 

Did I stay in these relationships longer than I should have? Yes. 

Why? Because I loved them and I thought they might change back to how we were when we started, or perhaps that I could change them. 

But every time I was proven wrong. 

Though the reason why I stayed in my last relationship for as long as I did was not just because of love but because I believed them when they said that I would never find anyone else who wanted to date me. 

And because I believed them; I allowed them to control me, to manipulate me, to wear down my confidence until there was barely anything left. 

It may have taken me a lot longer than it should have to realise that I needed to leave that relationship but when I did finally realise it, I left. It was hard. Luckily I had friends I could stay with though not even they could stop the thoughts that often ran through my head about whether or not I had made a mistake. 

One night my friends persuaded me to go to The Last Drop; I nursed my drink slowly while my friends drank multiple drinks back to back. 

It wasn’t until later that night that I actually spoke to Vander.

~~~~

“You certainly know how to nurse a drink, darl,” Vander chuckled as he grabbed the empty glasses my friends had left behind before going to talk to various different people at the bar. 

I didn’t know what to say to him. I wanted to drink more and I knew I could…but in the back of my mind all I could hear was my ex telling me that I could only have one drink. That’s all I could ever have when I went out with my friends and half the time I barely even finished that…scared that my ex would think I had more and start an argument over it. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make ya feel awkward,” Vander apologised, a frown tugging at his lips as his eyes studied me, clearly noticing my uncomfortableness about the situation. 

“No, no I’m sorry, it’s just…it’s been a while since I’ve been to a bar,” 

Or anywhere really. 

My friends and my ex didn’t really see eye to eye; I guess that’s because my friends saw the truth about my ex before I did and even though they tried to tell me, I just ignored them. I let my ex win; I stopped hanging out with my friends as much, except for on their birthdays and in time I just stopped going out everywhere, knowing that if I did so, it would lead to an argument about who I was with, where I was and why. 

“Well,” Vander began, collecting the last empty glass off of the table, “You’re welcome here anytime, darl, and if any of these bastards give you any hassle, come get me,” he stated with a smile on his lips before walking back to the bar.

~~~~~

And that was the beginning of our story. 

After that night I started going to the bar more often; and he and I quickly went from strangers to friends.

Vander soon found out about my previous relationships…how toxic they were, how much they broke me down…he comforted me, listened to me and helped me. 

He made me feel alive again.

He made me laugh, properly laugh, the type that makes your belly ache, something that I thought I would never do again. 

He made the butterflies in my stomach flutter in a frenzy every time I saw him; and though I warned myself not to fall for him so quickly, I couldn’t help it.

So when he asked me to be his, I thought I was dreaming. 

~~~~~

It had been one of those evenings. 

A stressful, exhausting evening. 

Looking after four kids was hard enough, especially when they all seemed to want to argue with me today. The majority of the time, things between us all were amazing, even though it had only been a few months since Vander introduced me to them, they welcomed me with open arms. Though, as any parent knows, not every day is easy and today was one of those days. 

Arguments about curfews, bed times; you name it, they wanted to argue about it. 

Not to mention that the bar was also extremely busy; so I was having to multitask between bartender and parent whilst Vander was out at Benzos.

It was a long night, but eventually the last of the customers staggered out of the bar, I couldn’t help but sigh as I leaned against the now locked down, revelling in the peace and quiet that now filled the air along with the stench of a variety of spilled alcoholic drinks. 

Now was time to clean up.

I’d cleaned up the floor, the tables and the chairs, the only thing I had to do was clean all of the remaining glasses that were scattered along the bar, but I’d tidy them up when I let Vander in, right now, I needed a shower. 

~~~~

I could feel the warm water ease my muscles almost instantly when I stepped into the shower. I quickly cleaned my body,getting  rid of the smell of the alcohol that covered my body, but that is what happens when you work at a bar, especially one as busy as The Last Drop. As the last of the soapy suds fell off of my body, I simply took a moment to enjoy the feeling of bliss that covered my body as the warm water fell on me. Tonight this was definitely something I needed, simply just to relax after the busy and slightly stressful night.

I left the shower, throwing on a clean set of clothes before checking on the kids; thankfully after many arguments, they were all peacefully sound asleep in their beds. 

Having checked on the kids, there was only one thing left to do, tidy up the rest of the glasses that I’d left on the bar. 

I practically froze when I saw Vander at the bar, humming away whilst cleaning the glasses I left. My heart dropped, guilt and shame washed over me as I mentally prepared myself for the long lecture that I would get about how I was lazy, selfish and useless…I had one job that I needed to do and I didn’t do it.

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself as I slowly stepped towards the large man at the bar.

“Vander…I’m so sorry, I was gonna clear everything up after I had showered,” I apologised quickly, hoping that if I apologised quick enough I wouldn’t get the lecture I knew I probably deserved. I knew I should’ve cleaned all of the glasses before I showered. 

“It’s okay, darl, I know it was probably pretty hectic in here and you needed to go and destress a little,” Vander replied, with a reassuring smile on his face. The kindness that was not only in his voice but in his eyes as well, confused me. He wasn’t angry? 

“I should have done it before you got back…I didn’t even realise I’d been that long, I’m sorry,” I apologised again; still confused about why he wasn’t angry, still mentally preparing the reasons why I’d left the glasses on the bar.

“Hey,” Vander whispered softly, snapping me out of my thoughts as he placed his hand under my chin, tilting my head up so I could look at him,  “stop apologising doll, you haven’t done anything wrong,”

“You’re not mad at me?” I asked, still expecting him to tell me that he was…still expecting the harsh words that were running around in my head to fall from his mouth. 

“Why would I be mad at you?” He asked, the confusion evident in his eyes. It was a look that just confused me even more. If this had been Y/e/n, they’d have been yelling at me already.

“Because I left this place in a mess-” I quietly answered, wanting nothing more than to just hang my head in shame, though Vanders hand kept my head up.

“You didn’t, this place is normally twice as messy when I close after a busy night,” he assured me; his thumb softly running along my chin.

“But I-” I began only to be interrupted by Vanders lips on mine. It took my brain a few seconds to realise what was actually happening before I melted into the kiss.

“You need to stop worrying so much,” he breathed against my lips, his hand now resting on my face, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on my cheek. 

“It’s a force of habit,” I admitted; not that I needed to, Vander already knew that. Being in a healthy relationship was still something I was adjusting too; more often than not I ended up apologising too much and worrying and overthinking  things Vander told me he would never be mad at me for. 

“I just don’t wanna upset you…” I mumbled, letting out a shaky breath at the thought of upsetting the man I’d fallen completely in love with. 

A soft chuckle fell from Vanders lips as he rested his forehead against mine, “It would take a lot more than a few dirty glasses to upset me, darl.” 

I opened my mouth to say something but he just quickly captured my lips in another kiss before any words could leave my mouth. 

“I’m serious, stop being so hard on yourself, you don’t deserve it, I know those arseholes before made you believe that you did, but I promise you, you don’t.” 

This was just another example of a scar that was left from my previous relationships; another example of how Vander was different to every other person I’d been with. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t harsh. He was kind, reassuring and just the best; not that he would ever admit it himself, but he was a truly wonderful man. 

“Thank you,” I whispered, turning my head slightly to place a soft kiss on his large palm. 

“You don’t need to thank me for telling you the truth,” Vander gently soothed, “And I promise,  I’ll keep telling ye it until you believe it.”

Tagging some people that might be interested:

@xacatalepsyx @yn-ymn-yln @lttlemer @juxl25 @mothratic @cass-brightwood @barbersjoy @stickyrice5096 @simping-ella @the-lone-librarian @abadamn

#vander x reader #vander imagine #vander #vander imagines #arcane requests #arcane league of legends #arcane imagine #arcane x reader

[specialagentlokitty]

Clara x reader - stuck

Hi i hope u r well, can i request a clara x reader where they broke up cuz clara always choose the doctor instead of u? To cheer her up, doc set up random adventure tardis. Somehow they ended up in a town where once inside cant leave n there they saw an older version of u trapped there for years. Make it angst if u like. Happy ending or not up to u. Thanks in advance. - Anon💜

The break up was messy, screaming, throwing things, saying hurtful things to one another.

And at this point you didn’t care.

Because all she cared about was him.

“It’s not that bad!” Clara yelled.

“YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WAS IN HOSPITAL!”

“BECAUSE IT WASNT IMPORTANT AT THE TIME!” She screamed.

“I WAS DYING CLARA!”

The whole flat went quiet, Clara opened her mouth to say something but she quickly closed it again.

You scoffed, shaking your head as you tossed her jacket across the room and shook your head at her.

“Yeah Clara. I was dying. Did you see to forget that I was waiting for a heart transplant?”

“I… I…”

“Of course you did, because you were too busy with the doctor. You didn’t care.”

“Of course I did…” she whispered.

“Is that why in the ambulance I was begging them to call you but they couldn’t get through to you. I was dying, and in pain and you weren’t there! You! The person who told me they’d always be there for me!”

Clara had tears in her eyes and you didn’t care at this point.

Grabbing her bag, you tossed that across the room as well and pointed to the door.

“Get the hell out of my flat.”

“(Y/N) please!”

“OUT!”

Clara nodded weakly and left and you quickly locked the door behind her.

Slumping against the door, you clutched the fabric of your shirt as you started to hyperventilate. Breathing seemed impossible, and an intense pain spread across your chest.

It was like your heart was going to beat right out your chest, or it was going to stop at any given moment.

Honestly, you couldn’t describe how it felt, the pain was all over the place and there was nothing you could do about it.

Putting your head between your knees, you took a few deep breathes to try and calm down.

Clara went straight to the doctor. Of course she did because he’d be able to help distract her.

Running through the door, she slammed it shut behind her.

“Clara! What on earth!”

The man turned around and stopped talking the moment he saw her.

“Oh what happened?” He asked.

“(Y/N)… she… she broke up with me…”

“Why on earth would she do that?!”

Clara didn’t say anything, she simply walked over and collapsed into his arms.

The doctor didn’t know what to do, so he knelt down and held her, awkwardly patting her back as he listened to her cry.

It broke his heart, Clara’s cries broke him. His best friend, his companion, on the floor in absolute tears because of you.

And he started to hate you for it.

Because Clara had seen a lot, been through a lot but never had she been in tears because of it.

She was in tears because of you.

And the only thing he could do was take her on an adventure, somewhere different.

So that’s what he did, he sat there and held Clara until she had finished crying.

“Adventure?” He asked.

Clara wiped her tears and nodded her head.

“Yeah.. yeah.. I’d like that…” she whispered.

Doctor got up, holding his hands out to help her up before he made his way over to the console.

He prayed the TARDIS would take them on an adventure and not some dangerous rescue. Because Clara couldn’t do that right now.

And it did, it took them to a planet but when the doctor was reading up about it he realised they couldn’t go outside.

“You coming?” Clara asked.

“No! No! We can’t go out.”

Clara frowned and walked over.

“If we take a step out on to the surface we’ll be stuck. But we can explore with the drone you got me.”

“Awesome, I’ll grab it.”

Clara grabbed the drone and let the doctor sync it with the TARDIS before he placed it outside.

And that’s how they explored the strange planet, everyone seemed happy on.

It was like a normal planet but it had so many different types of aliens on it.

“Wow…” Clara whispered, “and they’re all stuck?”

“Yeah. All of them.”

Clara nodded and went back to watching the screen.

That’s when she saw it.

“Stop.”

The doctor was in a hurry to carry on going.

“Doctor stop!”

He did, and she took the controller from his hands and before he could stop her, Clara turned the camera.

“(Y/N)…”

Clara couldn’t figure out one reason why you were on this planet, you didn’t explore, you didn’t travel with him and she knew that.

There was no way it could’ve been you but as she stared at you through the camera she could easily tell that it was you.

She’s recognise you anywhere.

Even though you did look older she recognised you.

“Doctor…”

“It’s not her…”

Clara set the controller down and turned to him.

“Why is she here…?”

“It’s not her…”

“Doctor that is (Y/N)! I know it’s her!”

The doctor started pacing, running his hand through his hair.

“Doctor!”

“I brought her here!”

Clara was furious, she stormed over and slapped him across the face before taking a few steps back.

“Take me home.”

“Clara I.. I..”

“Take me home!”

The doctor nodded his head weakly and took her back.

The moment the TARDIS hit the floor she was out and running straight to your flat. He had to apologise, make sure you were still there because she couldn’t loose you forever, not like that

#doctor who imagine #doctor who x you #doctor who x reader #doctor who #clara oswald x reader #clara oswald imagine #clara x reader #doctor who clara

[wool-f]

Wellness: Through & Through | Part Two: Pilates

If you subscribe to me, you’d know I posted a video on my channel not very long ago about my experience trying pilates for two months. It’s now been four months, and I can fully say that I am a member of the pilates cult that seems to be taking girl social media by storm.

I remember the first time I really began to see the rise in popularity of reformer, and it was just after an article where Lori Harvey said she loved pilates. After that, pilates was everywhere, and I really mean everywhere.

On TikTok, Instagram, Facebook even, my colleagues in the office were talking about how they were thinking of trying it, and my friends were signing up to expensive studios around Melbourne to get into the newest fad of fitness.

I say fad very loosely, because once I began classes at my local studio, I realised this trend was very quickly going to become a habit for me.

I’ll be honest, I was doubtful about whether pilates would do anything crazy to my body, and boy was I surprised! I had heard one of my friends talk about it previously but didn’t really think anything of it, until suddenly every second girl and their mother were achieving insane results from five 45 minute workouts a week.

I was flawed. I wish I’d listened to my friend sooner (take this as a lesson well learnt from me). So my friend and I decided to join a studio, and we got a pretty good starter deal. Pilates is quite expensive, it’s definitely not an affordable fitness method if you’re wanting to go to an actual studio, I will say that much.

Four months down the track, I can genuinely say I’ve never stuck to any fitness regime the way I have stuck to pilates, and I have never felt better. In the first two months of going to pilates consistently, I dropped FOUR KILOGRAMS without trying.

A disclaimer to this is that I never started this wellness adventure to lose weight - I don’t hate my body or myself, and I always wanted the focus to remain on how I feel about myself and my mental wellbeing, and what ways my physical health could assist with improving those aspects of my life. That being said, I can’t ignore the obvious difference in my body since beginning pilates.

Outside that, and now that I am well into my pilates obsession, I have a few notes on the difference it has made on my body.

I feel stronger in all ways, and I’m sleeping way better. I have gotten myself into the routine of getting up early to go to the studio and take a class before my work day begins and I notice that I have so much more mental clarity and motivation throughout my day. If I don’t get up and exercise before beginning my workday I often feel lethargic and foggy in my mind. I love the feeling of finishing a class and coming out of the heated room into the fresh air - my cheeks flushed and lungs breathing in the crisp smells of the early morning, and the satisfaction I feel when I finish a really tough class. I have increased my weight usage from 2kgs being my difficult weight to 4kg. I’m just happier as a person, obviously because any exercise creates endorphins.

If you’ve been looking for a sign to try out pilates, let it be this - it is honestly the best investment I’ve ever made in my health and fitness, and it’s an inclusive environment. It’s not necessarily price effective if you want to go to a studio, but there are so many free videos on YouTube you can use too - please try it if you’re even thinking about it.

If you are joining me on this group science experiment, investigating what wellness truly means and how I am achieving it, both physically and mentally, welcome! Comment below any suggestions or trends you are seeing to do with wellness that you’re too afraid to try yourself - I will try them. Also let me know if you tried pilates because of this post or my video! I’d love to hear your feedback :)

If you want to follow along with this experiment with me on a daily basis, please follow my Instagram and TikTok accounts, I am much more active on there and will have little updates throughout the weeks that I am posting the videos.

Leave any comments down below or in my questions box, and we can chat!

Until next week, all my love,

G xx

#. #health and wellness #healthy #health #habits #habit tracker #healthy lifestyle #healthy living #level up journey #levelup #levelingup #feminine energy #divine feminine #that girl #that girl aesthetic #clean girl #clean girl aesthetic #pilates #journalling #mindfulness #green juice girl #dream #dream life #self love #self improvement #self concept #affirmations #health journey #high value mindset #mental health

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Grind

No, not the employment-related one. I mean the grind that seems to come standard with so many video games these days. Because apparently the employment-related one isn’t enough for people.

When I first played Dragon Age: Inquisition, I was trying to do it spoiler-free, and ended up flailing so very hard that I missed out on a lot of stuff. Some people I needed to talk to didn’t get talked to, some side quests didn’t even trigger... Let’s just say it’s a really good thing that the Trespasser DLC wasn’t out at that point because I entirely missed Bull’s loyalty quest the first time through. (Though I am still annoyed that they sold us the actual ending as DLC later; so tired of shit like Legacy and Trespasser ripping out stuff we really need to understand future games and then selling it back to us for more money. It’s one thing when a game comes out in chapters; at least you know you’re buying the next installment when it’s chapters. But of course they’re not going to tell us, “Oh, by the way, we’re not giving you the real ending until you pay us more, and there’s a whole bunch of stuff you might need to know about for the next game to make any sense that you can only get if you pay us even more.” It’s ... kind of disgusting.)

Anyway. Point is that when I first started playing Inquisition on the very first run, I had no idea exactly how completionist you had to be to get the entire story. I didn’t realise how much I’d missed until I played a second playthrough with spoilers and walk-throughs and all manner of other shit. I don’t think that should be necessary, y’know? I don’t think you should have to go through the Wiki or be a completionist of the highest order just to get through a game, and I sure as hell don’t think you should have to hack through ninety-eight thousand miles of sweet fuck all in order to get through everything. And yet, that’s exactly what you have to do most of the time in Inquisition. A friend of mine put it best - I like the game that’s buried under the busywork. It just means I have to really be in the mood for the busywork before I can pick up a playthrough again, so it generally takes months to finish one, because I set it aside for weeks on end until I feel like pushing through.

Suffice to say that I finally finished most of a playthrough with an elven mage, something I haven’t really done since my nearly abortive first spoiler-free playthrough when it first came out. In that one, I didn’t get half the loyalty missions done, I never locked in the romance with Cullen I was after (which I think meant I was one of the first in my Tumblr circle to discover that Josephine turns up to offer a friendly shoulder if your Inquisitor’s single during that whole thing in the Winter Palace) ... and Trespasser wasn’t even a thing at that point. I’ve finished Jaws of Hakkon and Descent (I always do that before endgame, even if I don’t want to bring Solas, because I like being heavily overlevelled when I kick Corypheus’ ass - I KILLED HIM ONCE AS HAWKE AND REALLY RESENT HAVING TO DO IT AGAIN; FUCK’S SAKE, COULD WE PLEASE HAVE FINAL BOSSES STAY DEAD?!? DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE END OF ABSOLUTION), and I’ve only got Trespasser to go. I don’t know what the Fade sections of that look like for an elven Inquisitor ... and I hear rumours about a Cullen wedding before everything goes to the “Dead Qunari” place. I loved the Sera wedding, and I will admit to loving the whole thing where, at the end of the main game, the advisors bow and then Cullen is, “Okay, don’t care if we’re supposed to be dignified and official, I AM HUGGING YOU NOW”, so I’m looking forward to the culmination of that ... even as I hope he’s still surrounded by mabari puppies. (I may dislike Greg Ellis immensely, but I’m not taking that out on a very well-written character who Ellis just happens to voice.)

Honestly, I am still of the opinion that Dragon Age 2 should have been the open world free-for-all and Inquisition should have had a similar (if at least slightly less copy/pasted) structure to Dragon Age 2. I would have been happy to traverse ninety-eight thousand miles of sweet fuck all with Hawke because frankly that’s what Hawke was about, particularly in the first act - trying desperately to make ends meet in Kirkwall as a refugee. Hawke’s story was a sprawling thing where they ended up in the right (or wrong) place at the right (or wrong) time to be pivotal to changing the world, and wandering around doing random grindy shit is part of that. Whereas an Inquisitor should be getting letters at all hours telling them to go to a rather less huge area to fix a thing. Isn’t it funny how, while Dragon Age 2 was the rushed game of the two, Inquisition is the one that leaves you spending a lot of time poking through the turnip and wondering where the meat is, and being told you can’t  have your dessert until you eat at least most of said turnip? DA2 just has the higher story-to-faff ratio, when it feels like that should have gone the other way.

I have hopes for DA4. (No, I am not calling it that idiotic name; Dread Wolf is two words anyway.) I don’t know how high they are, but I have them. There’s the meat of a good game in the stew that is Inquisition, once you get through the turnip. I just hope they fix the story-to-faff ratio in DA4, is all.

#Thess plays video games #Thess liveblogs Dragon Age: Inquisition

[carriagelamp]

My September has been... so much. So it has also been a month of audiobooks and almost exclusively rereading Terry Pratchett novels. So like… if you’ve never read Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books, consider this my loving recommendation because they are, as far as I’m concerned, the Ultimate Comfort Novels

A Court of Thorns and Roses

Through a set of treaties, humans and fairies live in two very separate worlds, divided by a magical wall that is meant to protect humans from the almost unimaginable power and cruelties of the fairies who had previously kept them as slaves. While hunting for meat to feed her family though, Feyre ends up killing a fairy and therefore breaks the treaty. To make amends, Feyre must either risk the lives of her entire family, or enter the fairy world with its hidden power struggles and strange conspiracies lurking just under the surface…

I honestly didn’t love ACOTAR the first time I read it, but I kept going because my friend swore up and down that I’d love the next book. And hot damn was she ever right, A Court Of Mist And Fury was phenomenal. The narrative pivot? The completely logical but unexpected twist on the beauty and the beast theme? An actual serious look at trauma and recovery? So good.

This was my first time rereading ACOTAR since finishing the series, and I’m shocked by the fact that knowing the entire series made Book 1 so much more enjoyable. Knowing everything that’s happening under the surface rather than taking it at face value as a rather trite, lacklustre romance novel makes it so much more compelling and the characters so much more sympathetic.

Going Postal

And so my desperate rereading of Discworld novels begins…

Moist is one of my favourite protagonists in the entire series (possibly only rivalled by Vimes) and I love his arc from the depths of my heart. The humour and satire is just completely on point through out.

Going Postal is the first Moist Von Lipwig book, in which Moist, a conman, is hung by the neck until dead. …Or nearly dead. The city’s dictator has his life spared on the condition that he accepts the position of Post Master General and revives the city’s dead postal service. It seems like it should be an easy job, until Moist realises how many people have already died in the attempt…

Making Money

The second Moist book, and oddly enough the very first Discworld book I ever read, when I found it in our middle school library. I think everyone’s first book is probably their favourite, and this one is certainly mine, I can read it over and over and over.

In this book Moist has found himself pressed into another industry in the city — this time into banking when he inherits an old woman’s dog and winds up with an entire, powerful, vicious family out for his blood.

Only You Can Save Mankind

One of Pratchett’s children novels. I really enjoy the Johnny Maxwell trilogy, and this book is honestly very impressive. It deals with some really complex, heavy topics (the main character goes to research the Geneva Convention at one point in the middle of the story in order to try to come to terms with what he’s witnessing) while wrapping it in a very fun, approachable story.

Johnny Maxwell really just wants to sit and blast some aliens in his new computer game; he’s not prepared for when the aliens suddenly surrender! Or when they request safe conduct, and Johnny finds himself obliged to keep these little creatures safe from all the other human players that want to slaughter them.

Secret Path

This is a graphic novel that tells the real life story of Chanie Wenjack, a First Nations child who was a victim of the Residential School System in the 1960s. It follows Chanie’s attempt to escape the institution and return home hundreds of kilometres away. 

Canadian Musician Gord Downey wrote a concept album called The Secret Path about the tragedy, and it was adapted into a graphic novel. It’s a very emotional, heavy read, especially with the music, but it’s well worth it. With National Day for Truth and Reconciliation Day coming up, I highly recommend finding a copy, or watching the version they have uploaded on Youtube!

Thud!

More Discworld. One of the later books in Sam Vimes' arc, in which he tries to keep his city from dissolving into chaos as racial tension between the trolls and the dwarves continues to mount with the approach of Koom Valley Day, a day that marks an ancient war that exemplifies the hatred the two races have for each other. If that wasn't enough, they now have a dead dwarf, deep in the mines beneath the city, there's potential evidence pointing towards the trolls, and no one seems to be telling Vimes the truth, not about the murder, not about the hidden machinations, and not about the ancient evil that may or may not be lurking in the dark...

The Truth

More Discworld. William is another personal favourite of mine, I really love the newspaper trio, they’re such a bunch of chaotic assholes.

 William de Worde is just trying to live a simple life and get on doing a simple job. Estranged from his family, he uses his education to record some of the interesting events that happen in the city, and then sends out letters to various foreign dignitaries who pay to have these accounts made. Things change when he — quite literally — runs into a group of dwarves and their brand new printing engine with its moveable metal typeface. All of a sudden he finds that he’s accidentally started the city’s first newspaper and that there’s quite a few people who are profoundly unhappy to have someone sticking their nose into things in order to find the truth.

Unseen Academicals

More Discworld. This is a book that I feel doesn’t get the love it deserves. It’s technically a wizard book, as the wizards at the Unseen University suddenly find themselves obliged to participate in a game of football, but it feels much more like Nutt’s book imho. The story is partially about the modernization of football (soccer) and what it means to be a part of something — a community, a neighborhood, a team, the crush, the mob-think — but it’s also about the strange little creature, Nutt, who lives and works in the candle vats deep below the university and his efforts to accrue worth and knowledge and find away to fit in. Nutt, Trev, Glenda, and Juliette are such a lovable group, I really have a soft spot for them. 

Yarichin Bitch Club 1

…Oof. I read this because I had quite enjoyed another book by this mangaka (Neon Sign Amber) and my cousin suggested I try this. She billed it as “Ouran but horny” and like… she isn’t WRONG per se but also I was not prepared for what it actually is. It followed a lot of the yaoi tropes that I really don’t like and I spent the first book and a half really uncomfortable. I will admit that towards the end of book two things got a bit more interesting, and I may read the next one but like… I would not recommend this. Unless you want really undiluted and uncomfortable smut, there’s better options out there.

#book review #listen this list is 90% terry pratchett and it's been the only thing holding my seams together this month #terry pratchett #discworld #gord downie #tragically hip #canadian literature #canlit #chatter

[elthadriel]

Ohhhh can I ask why you have mixed feelings about the unrequited codywan characterization? I really love that one but I also love how you write Cody now too. I think it’s a good progression but I can see the difference. I just love Cody centric fics though where you get into his head and his feelings so I might be just in love with it for that reason (and because I was low key shipping him and Rex the whole fic tbh)

So I've actually been thinking about this a fair bit recently, so have much more of an answer than you asked for. Putting it under a cut because of that.

So I started that fic before I’d really joined the fandom. I don’t even think I’d finished the show yet. It started as this tiny little thing — that scene where Cody sees Obi Wan with Satine, that was the first thing I wrote — and the rest of the fic grew around it. The problem as it turns out with writing this way, with pretty much no outline while also entering the fandom for the first time, is that I didn’t have a strong idea of who I wanted Cody to be and that I was really susceptible to fanon.

So Cody’s characterisation was mostly decided by what I needed for the themes I was going for. I was thinking a lot about platonic love vs romantic love not just in fiction but in how we frame it in real life too. (I was thinking a lot about possibly being on the aroace spectrum at the time so it was floating around in my head.) Also, I was wanting to play into the age difference a little. Obi Wan is 35 at the start of the war, Cody is the equivalent of 20, not even taking into account the rapid ageing. There is a world of life experience between the two. I wanted the clones to feel like young men, and I placed that over a lot of individual characterisation I would have leaned into if I rewrote this.

And honestly, I think he came out a little boring, and very passive. He doesn’t make a lot of conscious choices throughout the story. I don’t think the plot beats are necessarily bad, but I would want to reframe them, have more space for Cody to think about why he’s choosing not to act on this and what has pushed him into this place of feeling like this? Are Fox and Wolffe entering into romantic relationships and he’s considering the possibility that there’s something wrong with him? And why Obi Wan? In the fic I make a joke that Cody has a thing for authority figures, and Obi Wan is kind, I think that’s mostly it. Does Obi Wan challenge him in meaningful ways? What is different about him and any of the other Jedi Cody encounters?

I like Cody being sharper and more of an asshole. I like him being pragmatic and a practised hand at ignoring what he wants in favour of a sense of duty. Cody can make the same choices not to act on his feelings towards Obi Wan but have more agency in why he’s doing that. I think it also would have made the scene with Satine land better. Cody as written is clear that he isn’t going to say anything to Obi Wan, but if instead he is honest with himself that he’d like to say something but feels he can’t due to his duty or whatever, there’s more of a sense that he’s lost something. I also just like that brand on pining a little more anyway.

And I like Obi Wan being an asshole too. When I’m shipping them I like them just annoying each other until they realise they’ve caught feelings and are utterly exhausted with themselves and what they see as their own awful taste. If I was doing it again, I’d have more Obi Wan and Cody snark for sure.

I while I don’t think it’s bad that Cody is seeking romantic love to prove his humanity, that’s a common trope and I’ve seen real people fall into that trap, but I don’t like that it centres a non-clone in a story that is about clones being people. Ideally I’d have Cody come to most of the conclusions he ends up reaching on his own, or at least hear them when the other clones are saying it. As it stands, I don’t like that Wolffe and Obi Wan say more or less the same thing, but it’s only when a non-clone says it that Cody actually hears and internalises it. This is something that pops up in many Codywan fics (it’s part of why I’ve fallen out of love with the pairing in general) and I don’t like what it implies.

Also, on Codex: I was also lowkey shipping him with Rex (I’m always at least lowkey shipping him with Rex, though this was before I feel headfirst into that ship and drowned in it) but I felt it was important thematically that the ending beat of a story that was about platonic love not end with a different ship. It’s why there weren’t any background ships either, even though I’d have normally had Waxer and Boil be dating. I just wanted conversations around friendship and how bullshit it is that romantic love is treated as the most legitimate form of love.

This was the fic were I really found how I wanted to write Fox though, so I can’t fault it for that.

All in all, I don’t regret writing the fic, and I’m glad people have responded positively to it, but it’s a story that I can’t help but look at and wish I’d done differently. I like unrequited love as a trope, and as much as I enjoy actually requited unrequited love, I wish there was more of it in fandom. I think who we love, even when they don’t love us back the same way, and what we chose to do with that says a lot about us.

#fic meta #I'll probably think of a better tag for stuff like this #but that'll do for now #would people actually be interested in hearing me talk more about fic I wrote? #ask box is open if you are interested I suppose #but I might just post some nonsense unprompted anyway

[knottyroseswrites]

What I Don’t Have (is what you are made of) - Notes on the timeline

~this note is spoiler free until the pictures. Then its all spoilers~

Here’s a horrifying insight to my writing process: until chapter 9 I did not have a proper timeline. I’d looked at the maniac tour schedule and was using that as a rough guideline, but other than that we were working on hopes, prayers, and vibes. The even funnier truth is that I didn’t make the timeline until I had the horrifying realisation that someday people were hopefully going to read this and some of them might care if the timeline didn’t make sense. 

Another fun side note is that after the interviews I had pretty much no outline and just ploughed forward with blind ambition trying to get these two idiots to kiss and trusting that they eventually would. I’ve added a picture under the cut of my ‘outline’ if you can even call it that. So yeah. No real timeline, and no real outline, just vibes.

So to make the timeline I opened up the fic doc and took a million notes of every scene I’d written so far. I also noted any time indicators I made in the fic either to a specific date (‘about two weeks later’, ‘I've been here a month now’, ect) and fixed dates (start of the tour, specific locations ect). Then, like the corporate nerd I am, I turned all that information into a spreadsheet, pulled up a calendar, pulled up the maniac tour dates, sent up some prayers to the patron gods of fic writing, and went at it.

To my relief, while it’s a bit creative, the timeline works. I had to push the Oddinary release back a bit from when it happens in real life to make sense with when Y/N started, and I had to change a few of my time indicators in the fic, but other than that I was able to keep all other big fixed dates the same (aka tour dates and maxident release). And honestly I think it makes more sense then it has any right to considering I figured it out after I wrote it. 

I will say that I do play with ‘cannon’ a bit, not all events happen exactly when they did irl, and not everything is the exact same. So consider this like a split in the timeline, this is the universe where Oddinary comes out early and Y/N exists. It’s funny that I feel like I need to say that, it’s a fanfic for fucks sake. But anytime I write ‘canon compliant’ anything I worry some bastard is going to go through my fic with a fine comb and go ‘um actually, that’s not what happened!’. So this is me saying: I KNOW, I made artistic choices to make the best story possible. If you want a pure timeline of events go read a calendar. 

Sorry, probably unlikely you’re one of those people if you’re reading this, I just really needed to say it.

Anyway… back on track. Really this timeline was just more for my peace of mind than anything else. While writing I felt it was mostly important the reader felt the passage of time and the development during it, not exact dates. And I think I achieved that.

But I’m vain and I did all this work so here you go. Screenshots of my insane ass notes and spreadsheet for your reference.

Final notes before the screen shots:

1. Non fixed dates are approximate. Like they can move probably a few days in either direction and be fine. Sometimes I just had to pick something.

2. SPOILERS INCOMING! If you haven’t finished the fic yet, maybe don’t keep scrolling, cus my notes def contain vague spoilers. Or I guess if angst stresses you out and you want to spoil yourself, go for it!

3. As I write this note I have not written the entire epilogue yet, and have some plans to change scenes, so don’t take this as gospel. It’s a picture of a living document. And also internal notes so sorry bout typos!

Image 1: All I had as an outline after the interviews… you’ll notice it’s very different then where we ended up!

Image 2: my illegible first notes of the scenes when I decided to figure out the timeline

Image 3: The master spreadsheet of the timeline

#KnottyRoses Rambles #KnottyRoses Writes #What I Don't Have (is what you are made of) #Authors Notes #Stray Kids Fanfiction

[crocadilioso]

It’s a dark night and I’m walking through the city alone. I’m a 5’1 guy who’d never been very manly so I kind of embraced it. I was skinny and had a slim waist but had a weirdly big ass and hips. My butt jiggled when I walked because of my daily squats. I’d grown my hair long just because I liked it but I’d also cut bangs into my curly brown shoulder length hair so now I just looked like any plain girl from the back. Naturally, as a not very manly man, I leaned into fashion. Specifically women’s fashion. I’d just been out to a few clubs with my friends, who are all girls, and when they all got an Uber home I decided to walk home. I borrowed a dress off of my best friend and shoes off of my other friend. I’m wearing a black keyhole dress and platform heels. The hole in the chest is obviously supposed to show off my tits like it did to my friend but instead it just showed how flat my chest is. The dress rode down to my upper thigh and barely covered my asscheeks. My legs, smooth and long (for my body) kicked with each step and my hair flowed behind me. My friends all did my makeup and I honestly looked good. My eyeliner was perfect, there are no blemishes on my face and my lips look plump. I even have a little black purse to finish the look and hold my stuff.

It’s about 2am now and I just want to get home so I decide to take a shortcut home. The alleys behind the warehouses. It’s always a bit sketchy to walk through them during the day, let alone at night, but in my drunken state I strut through it, expecting any muggers to be asleep at home. Halfway through the long, dim alleyway I see a lighter click on and off then illuminate a lot of figures around it. I notice them first and then notice that they’re all facing me. I didn’t realise how loud the clicking of my heels are or how echoey this alley is.

“Oh shit.”

I think to myself as I stop in my place and start to turn around.

“Hey! Where are you going?! It’s not safe out her alone you know!”

Someone shouts over to me and I start to walk away quicker. The clicking of my heels is then drowned out by the sound of trainers slapping against the floor. The men get closer and closer until they’re right beside me and I’m nowhere near the exit to the alley.

“Hey little lady. What are you doing here all on your own?”

The men surround me and now I’m completely trapped. There’s at least 15 of them, all way taller than me and visibly muscly through their tracksuits.

“I’m just trying to get home. Long night, you know. Haha”

I try to talk my way out of this but I can feel all of their eyes. I can feel them staring at my legs, my feet, my waist, my hips.

“Mm. I bet you are. You do know just how dangerous it is right? Very dangerous.”

The closest man says with a sleazy grin, showing a few gold teeth nestled between the rest.

He stands beside me and he’s over a foot taller than me. His hand reaches down and grabs a handful of my ass, squeezing it hard and moving his fingers on it. I clutch my purse tight, hoping they won’t see my ID and realise I’m a man but another man notices.

“Hey, what’s in there? You don’t mind if I take a look do you?”

He yanks the purse out of my hand and I fall with it for a second but I’m caught by the hand on my ass, stopping me from falling over.

“Hey guys, I have money if that’s what you’re looking for. I’m really just trying to get home.”

All the men circle in closer and then they all put their hands all over me. They grab my waist, my chest , my neck, my ass and everywhere else possible.

“We’ll gladly take your money. We’re going to take something else as well though.”

A phone flash points towards me and blinds me for a second and then a few fingers creep up the back of my dress and towards my asshole. The man with my purse pours it out and looks at the stuff on the floor. A hairbrush, more lipstick, my phone (now smashed), and a mix of random stuff beside my money.

“You’re really flat you know that? Really fucking flat.”

Someone puts his fingers in the keyhole of my dress and rips it apart. My chest is exposed and there’s absolutely nothing on it. No tits or even pecs.

“Too fucking flat. Check em boys.”

All the hands then defend on me. My dress is pulled all the way up to my armpits and my body is exposed to the camera flash.

“Would you look at that. That’s not a girl, boys. That’s a stupid white beta boy. And we all know what we do to whiteboys, don’t we.”

They all smile and laugh quietly then all the rough hands grab my soft skin. My little red thong gets ripped off of my body, exposing my minuscule chastity cage.

“Of course this bitch is wearing that. He knows that whites have clots and real men have dicks.”

One man pulls his pants down and a huge black cock falls out. Than another man. Then another man until I’m surrounded by 15 huge dicks.

“Now, are we going to do this the east way or the hard way?”

I get asked, the man motioning to the floor.

“Oh no please, I really just want to go home. I’ll do anything you want. Please.”

Im basically in tears now and the men can see that I don’t want to get on my knees. A blunt pain hits my stomach and knocks the wind out of me, making me fall to the ground, and I wince at the punch. The men all laugh at me and then hands fall onto me again. This time on my wrists and ankles. They pin me down to the floor and I feel a something push against my asshole as the dim streetlight above me is blocked out by another man infront of me.

A hard slap on the ass and then a glob of spit on my asshole makes a few tears fall from my eyes, leaving black marks down to my chin, before a searing pain fills my ass and stomach. I scream loudly and the man infront of me shoved his dick that’s surely 10 inches in my mouth. The pain in my ass only gets worse the further in he goes until finally I can feel his balls against mine and his dick feels like it’s in my lungs. I’m still trying to scream but it’s muffled by the dick in my mouth and completely drowned out by the laughs of the rest of the men. My head is grabbed by the man infront of me. He roughly pulls my head towards him and I feels a pop in my throat as it goes past my collarbones. Both men then start thrusting and my body is compressed into itself with each one, causing my back to arch like the letter U.

“Mmm. I know you wanted this. This is all you whiteboys want isn’t it. Ashe Crawford.”

He’s holding my drivers license and gets another man to take a picture of it and then a photo of me.

“Cute name I guess. I think slave sounds better though.”

My nose is pinched and I can’t breath as his dick completely fills my throat. My face goes red and I’m scared of what will happen until he lets go and pulls his dick out. I gasp for air and rub my throat.

“What’s your name bitch?”

The man says with a sick grin.

“A- Ashe.”

I barely get out. Another impact in my stomach and I fall into my side. An airmax just kicked my stomach and I’m close to throwing up all the shots I took earlier.

“Wrong answer bitch. You’re our slave now.”

I lie on my side, wincing in pain as my ass gaped and winks. They pick me up again and hold me up by my hands. The camera gets shoved into my face and the flash blocks everything else out of my view.

“This stupid whiteboy is now ours. What kind of stupid name is Ashe anyway? Your slave now. And you always will be. I bet your parents will be really proud.”

They all laugh and I see that my phone isn’t on the floor anymore, it’s in someone hand and he’s scrolling through it.

“My and dad. Those sound like good contacts to send some photos to.”

Photos me are taken and then I’m set back in the floor, so his time on my back. The same men stick their dicks in me again. The same pop and the same searing pain. The flash stays in as the men grunt and I cry through my moans. My phone is also pointed at me the whole time until they stop and I feel my stomach fill with hot, thick cum.

“Fuck, you’re a good cumslut aren’t you.”

Both dicks pull out of me and I feel a fountain of cum fall out of my ass. I’m glad that it’s over and lie on the floor to catch my breath but 2 more guys get down to my level. Again, the searing pain but no pop this time and I can feel the cum in my stocmach move in waves and crash against the walls of my stomach with each thrust.

“It really is a cute little clit.”

A big hand wraps around my dick and his one hand fits all of my cage and my balls with room to spare. He squeezes tightly and then pull his hand up to lift my waist with it.

“Really cute. It would be a shame if something happened to it.”

All I can see is the man in my throat’s balls slapping against my eyes but I feel a sharp edge grease against my taint.

“Maybe I should keep it in my wallet.”

The knife pulls away and all the men laugh again as my screams barely escape my mouth. More thrusting and then more cum. More pain. I feel the new flood of cum fill my stomach even more and I feel like I’m about to burst. Both men pull out as well and then 2 new men take their place. The handle of the knife was stuck in my ass to stop any more cum flowing out but it gets easily pulled out when another thick cock fills my ass. More thrusting and I expect the next flood of cum but instead my balls get hit, hard. A strong punch and then another. I try to curl up but I’m held spread out in the floor.

“Hahaha, it’s like a punching bag. You know that all you are to us. A punching bag.”

Another strong punch and I’m trying my hardest to get out but they’re all too strong. Eventually though, another flood comes and I’m even closer to exploding.

Another 2 men fill me up and then I feel my shoes being pulled off. My toes, painted white and manicured, wiggle in the cold air and then get surrounded by a warm, wet space. I have no time to react before a tongue wriggles between each of my toes. The mouth pulls away and I hear a voice.

“White toes. Only sluts have white fucking toes. You’ve been dreaming of this.”

My foot gets shoved back into the mouth and the assfucking continues. I can feel the cum in the top of my stomach slosh as the cum in the bottom of my stocmach gets pushed farther in by the man’s dick. Eventually they also cum and my belly is bloated. They leave me to lie on the cold, wet, dirty floor naked while they take even more photos and find my social medias. After they’re satisfied that they have enough dirt on me, they pick me up and hold me up by my wrists. My hands are together, one behind the other, and my feet are off the floor. I dangle a few inches off the floor, being suspended only by my wrists and then another punch. My stomach wobbles and the cum sloshes harder than ever. A burst of cum shoots out of my ass and covers the floor around me. One more punch for good measures and the last of the cum shoots out, leaving an actual puddle of bright white cum in a dip in the floor, then cum edibles out of my mouth uncontrollably.

A little bit at first but it doesn’t stop coming until my whole torso, crotch and legs are covered in the glossy white goo and it’s dripping off my toes onto the floor. My body is completely ruined by this point and my ass can’t even close so they drop me to the floor and I lie in a heap in the puddle of cum. They all laugh again then I feel a hot stream of liquid hit my face. My sobbing stops for a second as I look up and I see bright yellow piss hit my face. I move back out of they way but the stream moves too and before long, all the men are pissing on me and the puddle has tripled in size around me. In hot, wet, sticky and completely dehumanised when the camera flash turns off.

“That’ll teach this bitch his place.”

All I can do is cry on the wet floor and I hear footsteps walk away.

“Hey. We own you now. You can have this but only to get calls from us. Ok?”

A disposable phone is out down beside me and I nod my head.

“Ok, we’ll see you very soon.”

Another sadistic grin on the man’s face shows up before he walks away and the men all leave the alleyway.

I look at the phone and pick it up. They’ve taken all the valuables out of my purse but left it discarded on the floor do I pick it up and put the phone inside. I also pick up my soaked dress and slide it on. It still has the rip from my chest to my waist but it’s better than nothing. I try to get up and walk away but can’t do crawl over to the nearest wall and sit up against it, exhausted and destroyed.

I wake up a few hours later. It’s still a bit dark and I feel hands on me again. A shaggy homeless man has come up to me and put me on my side. He’s grinning with his toothless smile and his fingers slip into then out of my ass.

“What’s a little lady like you found out here. Dough needs some loving and it looks like you do too.”

I quickly move away and swipe at him.

“Ok ok, I know when I’m not wanted. I’ll be around here if you’re looking.”

He walks off down the alley and out into the street. It takes a lot of effort but I’m able to pull myself up onto my feet with a dumpster. My knees shake and my asshole is still not able to close. It hangs and leaks as I hobble along the wall, leaning against it. I finally get out of the alley and to my flat, that’s across the road, without anyone seeing. I have no idea how I’ll get in without my keys but go up to my door anyway. My front door is wide open and my lights are off. I walk in, close the door and see that a few things like my TV and other valuables are missing but most of my stuff is still here. I get in the shower and turn it on. The hot water triggers me and I lie in the feral position for 3 hours throwing up, crying and pushing cum out of my ass until I’m able to get up and fully wash myself. After getting the stench of kiss off of me and the stickiness of the cum I dry off and stand in my room, looking at the mirror. There’s bruises on my stomach and my balls have swollen up too. I lie on my bed and sleep until I’m woken up by a phone ding.

I wake up startled and see that it’s the disposable phone I was given. A random number messaged it.

“We’ll be round in 10. Wear something hot.”

I look at the message in horror and think about what I’ll do.

“Do I call the police? Do I call my parents? They have all the videos from last night. Fuck!”

Another ding comes out of the phone and I see a video of me being brutally raped. I look tiny and pathetic next to the big thugs. I get up to my feet and reach into my wardrobe, crying again. I pull out a white cropped button shirt that’s a bit see through, a red plaid skirt that barely covers my ass, white thigh high socks that go halfway up my thighs, a black thong with frills and some chunky black Mary Jane shoes. I put my hair up into

Pigtails and then quickly put on light makeup. I look in the mirror and feel terrible. A knock on the door pulls me away from the mirror and I answer it I hear countless voices as I open the door and then see countless faces.

“Ok, that’ll do I guess.”

Countless men push past me and into my flat with boxes in their arms.

“Come on then.”

I get pulled out by the arm and as I get pulled around the corner there’s still men walking in.

“You think that’s good enough?”

The man holding my wrist asks a can full of men and they all say yes. I get shoved into the back of the van and men all grin at me. I don’t say anything but just sit on the floor while the van drives away and the men all pass around weed or pills. Eventually the van stops and the door slides open.

“Get out, we’re at your new home bitch.”

We’re at a house in the middle of nowhere. I step out and a heavy metal collar is clasped around my neck with a chain on the end. I get yanked towards the house and follow with my head down.

“Where - where am I?”

I ask. The man turns around and slaps me across the face.

“You don’t speak unless you’re spoken to, slut!”

He turns around and yanks me again until we’re at the from door. The door swings open and it’s dark in there. I get dragged inside and the house smells of mould, weed and sweat. I get pushed into a room with couches full of men. I fall to my knees in the middle of the room and sit there.

“So this is it then? Ok, we can work with this.”

One of the men says and then I get pulled by my neck over to him.

“Don’t just sit there in the floor then, suck this dick.”

He pulls his dick out of his pants and it’s bigger than any of the dicks last night. I stare at it surprised and terrified.

“Oh my god. Now!”

He screams at me and grabs my hair. He shoved his dick in my moth and his dick fills it, then the pop again, then it fills my throat and it feels like it hits my lungs. I squirm and wave my arms but he just holds me down and then hits the back of my head hard.

“Listen, we own you now and we plan on making as much money as possible so whatever we say is gospel. If we say we’re cutting your dick off, you should have the knife ready for us. If we say you’re getting a boob job, you thank us. If we say we’re killing you, you better hope that we’re kind enough to kill you quickly. And you’ll never complain or your family will all die.”

He pulls me up from his dick and shows me one of my family photos.

“You got that, whiteboy?”

I nod and then a tear falls out of my eye.

“Stupid fucking slut.”

He pushes me back onto his dick and fucks my face so hard that I think my neck is going to break until he fills my stomach with cum as well.

“Ok, time for you to get settled in.”

He pulls the chain around my collar as he gets up and makes me crawl behind him. He says nothing until we get to a door.

“All you crackers are the same.”

He pushes the door open and then switches on a light. It’s a basement and he drags me to the edge of the stairs. He steps back and kicks me hard. I fly a couple feet through the air and then hit the stairs and fall Dow. The rest of the flight. He laughs and then closes and locks the door.

I look around my new home, bruised and beaten, and see a couple people in there already. They don’t say anything and they’re chained up to the wall. A few have an arm or a leg cut off. A few have their mouths sewn shut. A few have breast implants that are way too big for their bodies but all of them are men or are last used to be. Some are lucky enough to have their dicks locked in microchastity while other just have a flat surface where their dick and balls used to be or a pocket pussy forced into a hole cut into their flat crotch. Some can’t help but drool or jump the floor uncontrollably. The light switches off and it’s pitch black in the room. I can’t do anything but wait for my fate and go to sleep on the cold, hard concrete floor.

After a few hours I’m woken up by my arms being yanked hard. I feel like my arms are about to come off or my shoulders will dislocate but instead I just slide across the floor on my ass. Two more gang members are dragging me out of the basement I look back at the rest of the prisoners and none of them seem to notice or even care. They pull me up the stairs and my ass hits against each step. Once I’m out of the basement they pull me into a new room and pick me up to lie me on a metal table. The cold metal makes me jump at first but then I calm down. There’s nothing I can do to stop whatever is going to happen so I just wait for it. One of the men pulls out a little box and then pulls a needle out of that. He puts a white powder onto a spoon and holds it over a lighter id never done drugs, not even weed, so I’m terrified of why they’ll do to me. The powder bubbles into a brown liquid and gets sucked into the syringe.

“Now you’ll do anything for us and who knows, you might even enjoy it. Haha”

The two men laugh and my arms are held down by one man while the other man puts the needle into my arm and shoots the dirty drug into me. Immediately I feel it flow through my body and then my clothes are pulled off of my body. As I go limp I feel something big slip into my ass and then my mouth before another big duck fills my mouth. And then it’s all black. I wake up some time later back in the basement with my ass aching and burning and my throat bruised. I go back to sleep but can’t get over the feeling of the drug filling my mind and body, yearning for more.

I’m woken up again by myself getting dragged out of the basement and I’m wanting more of the heroin so I’m glad. I expect to be doled up again but instead I’m dragged into the room with couches again. It’s full of men and tables full of drugs. The TV is on and there’s a basketball game playing. When I get in there they all look at me and laugh at the state I’m in.

“Good morning, slave. I bet you slept great after that grade A columbian. You’re lucky you got that and not a spoonful of piss.”

They all laugh again and I’m thrown into the middle of the room.

“That’s some real good shit. And we all know you want more. We want you to show us just how much you want it.”

Another man walks in, this time with a big rotweiller on a leash and pulls it into the middle of the room too.

“You can have as much of this as you want if you do what we tell you.”

I obviously know what they want me to do and I’m disgusted. I back away from the dog and shake my head but then the addiction fills my mind and I lick my lips just looking at the spoon in the man’s hand.

“Three weeks you’ve been here. Three weeks of heroin so we know you’ll do anything. Just give some love to spike here.”

I think about what he just said. 3 weeks? I am hunk back a bit and the more I think the more I remember. Countless stairs kicked down and even more dicks. It really has been 3 weeks. I’m still disgusted by the thought of what they want me to do to the dog but the heroin takes over.

“You promise I can have as much as I want master?”

He looks at me with a smug smirk.

“Sure. We’ll think about it.”

He sees how desperate I am as I sadly agree and then crawl over to the dog. Its collar had a tag that says “bitchbreaker” on it and I stroke its back.

“Oh come on. We want a bit more than that.”

I let out at tear as I reach my hand under the dogs chest and feel it’s hot, red dick. It’s wet and hard as I stroke it back and forth.

“A little bit more than that too.”

The dogs mouth hangs wide open with its tongue hanging out and then it jumps up and gets behind me. It puts its paws on my shoulders and stratches my skin with its nails. It’s heavy and pushes me down. My face hits the wooden floor as my ass is thrown in the air. Then the dogs panting gets heavier and the gross red dick slips into my ass easily. All the men laugh or shout as the dog scratches against my back and thrusts against my ass. The dog keeps going until it cums and my ass is raw with all the scratching. The dogs knot balloons and fills my ass until the dog walks off and leaves my ass gaped.

“Hahaha. Stupid fucking white. Your parents are going to love this.”

I’m crying in a heap on the floor as the man laugh and pass around phones.

“Get over here. I’ve got another game.”

I’m dragged by my hair over to the couch and my head is held up by someone hand.

“You getting this bruh?”

Another man nods with his phone facing me.

“This is kind of like Russian roulette but more fun. And only you’re playing haha.”

He pulls out a revolver and opens the chamber. He put a bullet in and then spins it. He grabs my head and sticks the barrel in my mouth.

“You suck this good or I just shoot you anyway.”

The cold metal fills my mouth and I have no choice but to suck it while sobbing. Click. The he trigger pulls and I’m still alive, for better or for worse. The men look around at each other and then pick me up. I’m ragdolled onto the floor and then the barrel is shoved into my ass. He thrusts it and the barrel hits my taint with each thrust.

“Time for part 2.”

Click. He pulls the trigger again and I’m not hit with the pain of my stomach exploding. The man all laugh and then I’m pulled back up onto my knees. He pushes the end of the barrel against my forehead and gives me an angry look.

“Beg for it.”

I’m crying and can’t get any words out.

“Beg for me to kill you. You stupid white piece of shit.”

I look up at him with snot and tears all over my face.

“Beg for it! Beg for death!”

He pushes the barrel harder against my forehead.

“P-please.”

That’s the only word I can get out and then he pulls the gun away.

“We don’t do anything our property tells us.”

Then I hear a crack and my head feels like it’s burning again. He pistol-whipped me and I fall against the floor hard. I fall unconscious as the man shouts at me.

“Stupid fucking slut! I own you! You’re nothing to me! You fucking-“

The basement that I wake up in every day has a little window that is covered by a wooden plank, blocking out all light, but today the plank is moved a little bit. The window is very tight and no one should ever be able to fit through it but my malnourished body would be able to fit through it with a squeeze. I don’t see any gang members walking around outside and for whatever reason, my neck hadn’t been locked up to the wall last night so I took my opportunity. I walk to the window and slide it to the side. It moves just wide enough for me. I pull myself up and then my head and shoulders pole out into the sunlight. I pull the rest of my body out and see just how skinny I am but don’t have time to focus on it and start running. I run out of the property and then through a field. Eventually I get through that field and to a main road.

“Yes! Yes yes yes! Fuuuuuuck!”

I scream with relief and fall to my knees. It’s a quiet road and not many cars drive down it so I walk down the road. I’m completely naked and filthy with dirt. After an hour or two of walking, I get to a fork in the road and see houses in the distance. I walk over to it and after another hour of walking I make it there. It’s a little country town and there’s no one out so I walk through it screaming for help and crying. After walking halfway through the town, a man walks up to me. He’s tall, has a long dirty beard of scraggly white hair and is wearing nasty dirt clothes.

“Who the fuck are you?”

He asks from a distance, staring me down.

“I’ve been kidnapped! Please I need help!”

He keeps staring me down as he walks up to me and then once he’s right in front of me he grabs my shoulder.

“Yeah, I know. That house over there? They have all types of fags like you in there.”

I can smell him and he stinks of sweat, cigarettes and mud.

“Yeah, they pay good to get you fags back too.”

My face drops and I try to pull away but his grip is strong on my shoulder.

“This is a ghost town, you know. Completely abandoned. No one drives through here. I’m the only one here and I always will be.”

He pulls me in close to his warm, dirty body and I try to punch him away but he just laughs and tells me that’s no use.

“They pay a lot to get you back but they don’t need you back right away, now do they?”

He has a sick grin on his face and then holds a dirty cloth up to my face. He holds it there as I kick and squirm to try and get away but after a couple minutes of struggling I lose consciousness and become powerless to him. I wake up again but not in the basement this time, I’m in another dark room but not the basement. My wrists are tied together and tied to a pole going from the floor to the roof. My ankles are tied together too but the weirdest part of this is that I’m wearing a wedding dress. A big white, flowy dress hugs my waist tightly and puffs out at my ankles. The man walks into the room wearing a dirty tank top, jeans and a scary mask of a pig.

“You’re awake. Good.”

He walks over to me and unties my ankles and wrists then picks me up. I have on white high heels that click on the floor and my knees high garter hugs my leg tightly. There’s a veil over my head and the dress shows skin halfway down my chest. I can’t see his expression but I can tell he’s looking me up and down.

“Come on, we’ve got a lot to do.”

He guides me out of the room and I see that it was an old freezer in a butchers shop. He leads me into another room, this one lit brightly and with a wooden gym horse in the middle.

“Please, I just want to get out of here. Please I-“

He cuts me off and pushes me onto the gym horse.

“No no no no no no! You’re not down yet! No!”

He angrily walks over and grabs me. He lifts my legs and put one over each side of the horse and buckles my wrists and ankles into shackles on each side of the horse. I’m completely stuck and he leaves the room for a second. He walks back in and sees me crying.

“Stop! This is supposed to be a happy day. If you do good enough I might even keep you to myself.”

He has a big wooden crate of items in his arms and the drops it behind me so I can’t see inside it. As expected, he flips up my dress and exposes my asshole. He spits on it and sticks a few fingers in there gently and then he pulls them out. He climbs on top of me and puts his gross, unwashed dick into me. He fucks me and moans into my ear while I quietly sob into the old leather of the horse. After he’s done, he pulls out and reaches into the crate. He stand up straight again with a big dildo in his hand. It was at least 12” and double the width of my forearm. He spits on my ass again and then shoved it in. He thrusts it back and forth and then stops after he’s fired of that too. He pulls out a metal ring with pins in it. When he twists one of the pins the circumference of the circle gets bigger. He puts the rods attached to the circle in my ass and then starts twisting them. He twists them like a mad man and I feel my ass stretch with each turn. Eventually he twists them all all the way and my ass is 6 inches wide. It’s way wider than it was ever been before and it is excruciating. He laughs as I scream in pain and he puts stuff in there. There’s bottles, spanners, and any other random object he could find in the room until my ass is completely full. Finally, he pulls out one thing and the rest of the junk falls out like a waterfall onto the floor with a clatter. My ass is still fully exposed and the runs his thumb around the edge of it.

“You’re a good bitch. It’s like you were born to do this.”

He sticks a few fingers in and they don’t even touch my asshole, they just poke the hot, wet meat of my ass. He sticks more fingers in until his whole hand is in there and he reaches in. It feels like his whole arm is in me and I feel his dirty fingernails scared against the walls of my insides as his fingers open and close, squeezing my guts from the insides. He then sticks his other whole hand in and I feel him rummage around in my and I’m wider than I even thought was possible. After a few minutes of him completely rearranging my guts from the inside, he pulls his arms out, dripping onto the floor. He pushes parts of the horse in on itself until I’m basically on the floor but my ass is facing up more than my head. My cries have stopped by now because there’s no more tears in my whole body. He lifts his foot and his big heavy work boot presses against my asscheek. He slides it down my ass and then pushes the toe of the boot against the soft flesh of my ass. He bypasses my asshole again and I feel the ridges of the sole of the boot slide through my ass and then his whole foot is in me. He kicks forward and back which makes my whole body move and after what feels like hours of him kicking my guts, he pulls his boot out. He unscrews the pins on the metal circle and takes it out. My asshole can’t even close so it just hangs down like a burst balloon. He unshackles me and then walks me over to get another room. He handcuffs me and then lifts me up in the air. He puts the handcuffs over a meat hook in the roof and I’m left suspended in the air by my wrists while he takes pictures and laughs.

“Have you had enough, huh? Have you?”

He mockingly asks and I nod my head. He pulls out a poll from another room. It’s metal and has a rounded end on it. He puts it under me and then lowers the hook with a remote control. I lower down and the pole falls into my ass. It goes in a little at first and then a lot and then gets to the point where my feet are on the ground and I can’t get off of it because of how deep it is. I’m stuck in the pole and if I slip over and fall or he pushes me down, it’ll impale me and I’ll die.

“I’ll call your owners and tell them where you are.”

He makes a phone call and I hear him talking to a man through it.

“Hey brother! I have something of yours. That’s right. Yup. It’s right here, yeah. Perfect I’ll see you soon.”

He hangs up the phone and put it in his pocket. He pulls the dress and the rest of my clothes off of me, saying I’ll get them back if I come see him again and after a handful of minutes the door to the old butcher has a knock and two men walk in. They hand the man a handful of notes and then pick me up off the pole and drag me back into the van. Through the van ride, the men hold lighters under my feet and the van is filled with the smell of burnt flesh.

“That’ll teach you to run away, bitch.”

I wake up again in the basement and can’t get any emotion out. I’m just like all the other prisoners now. Silent and destroyed. The door opens again and two men walk in. The undo the chain attached to my neck and the wall then drag me up the stairs again. I’m dragged through the hallways and then to the front door. I have no idea how long I’ve been kept here and where I even am so I have no idea what’s happening. They open the door and it’s pitch black outside. I get dragged into a plain black van and pushed into the back. The van drives for a while and then stops. The door slides open and I’m pulled out again and then quickly taken into some sort of warehouse. The inside is dark as well and there’s a light in the middle over a surgical table and equipment around it. As I get dragged over to it we pass a few mirrors and I get to see myself for the first time since I’d been kidnapped. My hair is down to my chest and bleached blonde. My face has been covered in makeup tattoos. Eyeliner, lipstick and eyebrows have been permanently put on my face. I also see my body. It’s been covered in tattoos as well. The hints like “slut”,”whiteboy”,”fuckhole”,”slave”and”rape me” have been tattoos all over my body. They drag me over to the table and lie me on it. A man walks up to me and talks to the men while feeling my chest and smiling.

“Ok gentlemen, you wanted some double D’s on this bitch right?”

The men say yes and then hand over a handful of notes.

“Good, you can have it back in a couple hours then.”

The men walk away and I’m left with the makeshift surgeon.

“Please help me. I’ve been kidnapped and I need to get away. My names Ash-“

I’m cut off by him.

“Shut up slut. You have no say in this.”

He puts a mask over my face and in a handful of seconds I’m asleep again. I wake up again in the basement, now with huge, painful tits. They’re the same size as my head and feel like they’re burning the skin off of me. After countless bearings for screaming I’ve learned not to scream so instead I silently cry in the corner of the basement.

I wake up again in the basement. My chest isn’t painful anymore and I’m once again getting dragged out of the basement. I get dragged into the main room again. Only a handful of men are in there but I can tell one of the main leaders of the gang is there.

“So, a whole year. Look at the state of it.”

He calls me over and I sit on my knees infront of him.

“A whole year and I bet you can’t even remember your old Anne anymore.”

I think and think but actually can’t.

“Well, there’s a little tradition we have when we’ve had a whole for a whole year.”

He reaches down and grabs my crotch. What used to be my dick had been locked into a chastity cage that’s flat with my crotch months ago so now it’s barely visible.

“We’re going to make you into something better. You’ve made us a fair amount of money now. And do you even know how many people have fucked you?”

I thunk but then shake my head and he laughs.

“Well, 5 guys per night. 365 nights in a year and $20 a pop. You’re a grade a hole. And now we’re going to make you just a hole with nothing else in the way.”

He holds my shrunken empty ball sack.

“We already stomped your stupid excuse for balls away months ago but now it’s time for the rest of it.”

He pushes my into my back on the floor and a man takes each of my limbs and pins me down to the floor. He pulls out a knife and holds it under my cage. I’d known this day was coming one day so wasn’t even able to cry. I just lay there with no thoughts.

“One small cut and you’ll be good.”

The knife runs under my cage and in one movement comes out the other side. A searing pain fills the bottom half of my body and then I feel blood run down and onto the floor. All of that and then a burning pain on the same spot. I look up and see a hot iron where my dick used to be. The gash is cauterised and stops bleeding but still feels like I’m being stabbed. He picks up the half inch nub of skin on the floor.

“Barely anything anyway. There’s a reason whites like you come to us.”

He pushes his finger and the shoved what used to be my penis up my ass. The two men who pulled me in there then pull me out and my hairless, estrogen filled body slides across the floor. Through the laser hair removal, forced hrt, all the plastic surgery and now the penectomy, I’d never be recognised as a man again, let alone Ashe Crawford. Once again I’m kicked down the stairs and left to cry in the pitch black basement

Another day in hell starts, as per usual, with me getting dragged out of the basement. I get dragged out of the basement and taken into the front room of the house, which I’d learned is when something worse than usual was going to happen that day because if I was just going to be raped or prostituted, I’d just be taken to one of the bedrooms or used infront of the other prisoners as they stared with blank, sad eyes. The men in the room and ignore me and then one man says to another that I’ll do and to take me away so I’m walked out of the house and into the terrible van again. We drive for a while and when we stop again we’re at a farm. I get pulled out, wearing only a bikini top

And bottoms, and walk through the muddy grounds to the farmhouse. A man with a strange face opens the door and smiles when he sees me staring at the porch floor.

“Well, come on in.”

The men walk me in and the man stares at me as they throw me onto the floor.

“Thanks for this guys, I’ve been waiting ages for this.”

He gives a handful of crumpled up notes to one of the men and they walk out, leaving me in the house with just the man.

“Come outside, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

He leads me outside and I traipse through the mud until we get to the stables.

“I’m his is the breeding mount. And you’re home for now.”

He opens the rubber mould of the mount and there’s a space just big enough for me in there. I climb into it, as instructed, and he closes it, locking me in there. He runs his hands over my legs and ass, his dirty hard hands.

“You’re pretty, I bet you’ve got a pretty little pussy too.”

He pulls off my bikini bottoms and sees that I’ve got nothing more than flat skin where my pussy should be.

“Oh. That’s not- that’s.”

He’s lost for words but then finds them.

“That’s fine, I guess, I can work with this.”

He spreads my asscheeks and sticks his face in there. His beard tickles where my ankles should be and his tongue wriggles around my ass. He pulls away and give my ass a slap and walks away. He walks back and I also hear hoofs and breathing with him.

“This is Zues, the best stallion there is. He gets all pent up and for $50 you’re the best way to get rid of all that.”

The horse sees me and I hear its hoofs get closer. Its gross tongue reaches my ass and tickles it and then the hoofs jump up and mount on the breeding mount. My ass is exposed and helpless so the horse slides it’s huge dick in. The fat head goes in and then the long shaft gets thinner after that.

“I slipped some viagra in his feed so he might get a bit rowdy.”

The man says with a giggle and the horse starts fucking me. The duck is probably the length of my leg and bulges out of my stomach. The horse makes loud noises as it fucks me until finally I feel it finish. It cums and fills my stomach with cum immediately then as it walks away, all the cum leaks out into a puddle on the floor.

“Oh, one last thing. I put some viagra in the rest of the feed too. Sorry about that.”

He laughs and pulls in more animals. The next ten hours are spent by me getting my ass used and abused by all sorts of animals. Horses, bulls, donkeys, pigs and even an excited chicken take their turn on me. By the end of the day I’m left leaking and dissociated. The man opens the mount and pulls me out of it. I slap onto the mud and lie there shivering.

“Looks like your owners are coming soon. Should probably get you cleaned up because I said only the horse were using you. Haha.”

He takes me into the house and gives me a bath. He scrubs my body clean and kisses me hard in the mouth while I’m motionless from the trauma. A knock on the door pulls him away and and he dries me quickly then takes me down the stairs.

“Thank you gentlemen. It really did the trick.”

He has a smile on his face but I have no expression and the men grab my arm pulling me into the van.

“You know, I could hire it monthly, or just whenever it’s free!”

The man shouts and the van speeds away. The men league about a video they got sent. It’s new struggling and maiming in the mount as the first horse takes my ass.

I wake up again but not in the basement now. I’m on a street in a city. I’m in a nice car and a man slaps me awake.

“Get out there and make us our money bitch.”

He opens the car door and pushes me out of it. I crash onto the floor and slowly get to my feet. I’m wearing a tiny red dress that hugs all of my parts, black tights that make my legs look more tanned and black high heels. The dress can’t contain all of my body modifications and my massive tits pop over the top. The dress barely counts as a dress and looks more like a scrap of factor toes around my body. It covers half my ass and my crotch then exposes my whole stomach apart from one strip up the side. The top half of the dress is nowhere near big enough to hold my tits so they pop out of the top and the bottom of the thin strip of fabric over my chest. The dress leaves almost all of my back exposed as well. I think about where I am and the thought of running away crosses my mind but then I remember the pain of my feet being burnt the last time I tried and see the man in the car with a gun in his hand.both thoughts stop me from even considering running away again. I walk down the dark streets and I’m freezing cold from the lack of clothes I have on. My tits pop out of the dress every minute or so because of how small it is and I have to keep pushing them back in. I get to a corner of the street and see other, real, women standing there. They’re also wearing extremely revealing outfits and have distraught looks on their faces. I stand at the corner, shivering and looking at the other cars filled with pumps and gang members. Eventually, cars get more regularly driving past and more slow down when they get to us. All the men in the cars look me up and down but decide to take another girl instead until a black Honda pulls up. The man in the drivers seat stops beside me and calls me in. I look over at the man who took me here and he nods so I climb into the car. The man drives off and into an empty alleyway. He looks familiar but I can’t tell who he is. He stops and turns to me. He licks his lips then grabs at me. HE grabs my big, fake, hard tits and squeezes them.

“Mm, you want this dick? You want it baby?”

His voice is still familiar but I still can’t pin point who it is. I nod and he unzips his pants pulling out his already hard dick.

“Come show daddy how much you want it then.”

He pulls my head down to he dick and iI obediently suck it. Something about the way he said daddy flipped a switch in my brain. This is my dad. He keeps a tight grip on my head and slides me up and down on his dick. I think about how long it’s been since I last saw him and mom. He’s moaning and calling me a good girl and then reaches around and slap my ass hard. I think about what I would say to him but also think about what the gang would do to him if I ever said anything. He pulls my head up and a long string of spit and precum connects my tongue to his cock.

“Dad?”

I say with half confusion and half fear. He looks at me and bites his lip.

“Oh I’ll be your daddy. I’ll treat you like the dad you obviously never had…”

He looks over my body and sees all the humiliating tattoos.

“…fuckhole.”

He doesn’t recognise me so just turns me around in the back of the car and slaps my ass again. I’m too shocked by this to say anything but think about why he doesn’t recognise me. Obviously my body is unrecognisable but he should recognise my voice, right? The months of estrogen and throat abuse had ruined my voice and obviously made me completely devoid of humanity. He lifts up the tiny piece of fabric covering my ass and spreads my cheeks, exposing my asshole. He notices that I don’t have a vagina or even a dick and frowns about it in a confused way but gets over it.

“Time to get my money’s worth.”

He sticks his dick in me and i think about where else it had been. In my mom. I think about what’s in his balls. my siblings. And I think about all the times we had when I was a kid. He fucks my ass and insults me the whole time.

“ oh fuck, take it you slut. You’re so fucking loose you slut. You’re a filthy bitch.”

I never thought I’d see my dad again and definitely didn’t think it would be like this. He comes to climax and then turns me around. He holds my head in place and cums all over my face, covering his own son’s face with his cum. He then snaps a quick photo with his phone, shoves few notes into my mouth and kicks me out of his car.

“Get the fuck out of here now. I’m done with you.”

I step out, still covered in his cum and watch as he drives away. The rest of the night consisted of the same thing. Average looking guys taking me into their cars and insulting me while fucking me and slapping the pathetic landscape of where my dick used to be. All in all I made $500 that’s night and give it all to the man who brought me there when I get it the car. The sun is starting to come up and he looks at me in disgust.

“I guess this will have to do.”

He says and then drives me back to the house without saying a word.

Yet another day starts with the ritual of me being dragged up the stairs. This day though, I’m given clothes. I’d been naked for months and not bathed in even longer but today they dragged me up the stairs to the smelly, mould filled bathroom in the house for the first time. Two men throw me in the shower and the cold water hits me and immediately makes me curl into myself. The water falls off me, thick and grey, until I’m fully cleaned with soap and I don’t smell like sweat and cum for the first time in as long as I can remember. I get pulled out of the shower and dried by the two men and then put into my outfit. A pair of black leather thigh garters hold up a pair of see-through white thigh highs. I’m given a pair of very tall black platform high heels to wear as well. A ver tight, short and revealing maid dress is thrown over me and then accessories like cuffs, a white frilly collar and cute press on nails are put onto me. The dress is like any other maid dress in the way that it puffs out at the bottom and has an apron on the front but this one has a very low cut chest that shows all of my stupidly large breast implants and the dress is so short that not even half of my ass is covered and you can see the bright red thong they put me in. I’m walked out of the room and then out of the house and then into the van again for what feels like the hundredth time, even though it’s probably been more, and once again the van starts. After a long drive we stop and I’m pulled out of the van. I’m taken into a nice, modern, expensive house. The house is surely at least $5,000,000 and it’s the nicest house I’d ever seen. I get walked into the house and then put into the sleek, white kitchen. A man walks out in a suit and a tie. He looks me up and down, grabs all over me and then grabs my head to see how big it is.

“So, this is the one. Does it know?”

The men shake their head and the man smiles.

“great, I love it when they don’t know.”

They walk me over to the table in the middle of the room that has a woman at it already. She had a big array of makeup and hair products ready and as soon as I sit down in the stool beside her she gets to work.

“You’re going to be in a very special video today. Me and my friends are going to enjoy it a lot.”

The man says. I’ve already been filmed more times than I can count and gangbangs seem to happen daily so this is nothing new to me and I just look at him with my broken, sad eyes.

“Doesn’t talk much does it? That’s ok.”

He walks away and the woman finishes my hair-do and making my makeup look nicer after about an hour. After everything is ready, the cameras set up all around the big, open kitchen all get turned on.

“Okay. I want you to start by cleaning the kitchen and then we’ll go from there.”

The man says and I get to it. I clear away all the things on the countertops and dust all the surfaces while bouncing more than necessary and putting on a fake smile. The man then comes in and walks up to me.

“Look at you, you stupid maid.”

He says and then slaps me across the face hard. I stand in place, not expecting that and then he slaps me again, just as hard. I back up and then he grabs one of my big fake tits and pulls me closer.

“Oh I’m not done with you yet.”

He punches me in the face and then pushes me over the countertop. My nose is leaking blood as he flips up my dress and sticks his dick in my ass dry. I gasp and moan, trying to appease him but then he bashes the back of my head with his hand and my face slaps against the countertop, breaking my nose even more. I would’ve told him to stop if I was still a human but as just a hole I have no say in myself so just take the punches and hold in my cries. He then rips my dress and starts scratching my back with his nails, leaving long red marks down my back and starting to draw blood. He’s violently grunting and laughing while he does this and keeps fucking my ass. After he’s satisfied that my back is scratched enough he flips me around so that my back is against the edge of the countertop and I’m facing him. He has a deranged, psychotic look in his eyes and then he punches me in the face again. My head cocks back and my nose is caved in on itself. He pushes me up so that I’m full on the table and reaches for a knife block. I try to crawl away but he grabs my leg and pulls me back. He had a big kitchen knife in his hand and looks at my flat crotch.

“I want to fuck your pussy slut. I want it now!”

He holds the knife against my fleshy flat surface and then pulls the knife down. It leaves a large gash that immediately start leaking dark red blood onto the white countertop. I scream and thrash to get away but he crawls on top of me like an animal and farces his dick into the gash. It his my pelvis bone and then he thrust hard and his duck slides between my skin and my pelvis. My screams are shrill and inhuman but he makes no attempt to stop them and gets closer the more I scream. He pulls his dick out after some more thrusting and and it drips my blood all over my stomach as he kneels over me. He has a terrifying grin on his face and then he flips me onto my back. He grabs the knife again and then without warning he slides the knife into my ass until the blade is the only thing exposed. My ass and crotch are both burning as I scream more. He slides the knife in and out and I feel my blood leaking out like a fountain onto the table. After he’s done with that, he flips me over again and then puts the knife in my mouth.

“Why are you screaming?”

He says with a twisted smile on his face.

“You should be smiling.”

The knife runs across my teeth from the middle of my mouth to the edge. The knife pulls my face and then slices through it. My cheek is cut wide open and my screams get even more guttural. He stops and listens to my screams some more and then flips me over one more time onto my stomach. He uses towels to tie me up and then walks off for a second. He walks back with a rope in his hand. He ties a noose into one end of it and then throws the other end up towards the ceiling and the o a metal loop attached to the roof. He picks me back up as I squirm and beg him not to, with a lisp from my missing cheek, but he pulls the noise over my neck anyway. He tightens it and then throws me down to the floor, cracking my ribs, and walks away. He grabs the other side of the top and start hoisting me up. I feel the pressure build around my neck and then I start to get pulled up by it. I can manage it at first because I’m still on my knees but then I get pulled off of my knees and my tied feet can’t reach the blood soaked floor. My neck aches and my face feels tight as he holds me there for a few seconds. He then walks over to my swinging, writhing body and grabs my hips. His dick slides into my slippery, wet ass and he shove it all in. With the thrust I get a split second to breathe back in and then he thrusts back. He fucks my ass, legs and crotch covered in my blood, and each thrust allows me to suck in some breath. Eventually he gets bored and stops. He watched my face go red and then blue and then purple over the span of 2 minutes while I try and get out of the rope but its no use. He lets the rope run loose and I flip down the floor, cracking even more ribs and sobbing harder than ever before. He comes up to me again and I can’t even get words out so I just scream at him. He picks my left leg up, feeling the soaking wet fabric of the thigh high socks and then props my ankle up on the countertop while I’m still lying on the floor. He then lifts his own leg up and stomps down on my knee. My leg instantly breaks and my knee turns the wrong way as I scream more and he laughs harder. He repeats that with my right leg and both my feet are pointing towards my face. He grabs my legs and twists them around 3 times each until they look like big fat, red braids. He then walks back to the other side of the rope again and yanks me off the floor once more. He holds me 2 feet off the floor and ties the rope in place to come over to me again. He punches me in the stomach countless times as I cough up blood between my screams and then I’m his fit of rage he grabs the knife again and slashes my stomach open. He sticks his hands in as my red and purple organs fall out and splatter all over the floor. He then pulls me close and sticks his dick in me. He kisses my face hard as he slams his body against mine and eventually fills my half empty stomach with cum. He’s out of breath and backs off, watching me hanging there. He doesn’t do anything else but watch me suffocate and bleed out at the same time until I die and the parts of my body that are still able to, seize up. He drops my rigid body to the ocean of blood on the floor and then walks off, turning the cameras off with a remote as he does. My body was never found and I’d been missing for 2 whole years.