#I have thoughts in my head

[thatfuckinjester]

phantom not going to anyone for comfort because he's scared that they'll turn him away. even when they said that they do care about him, even after they said sorry for treating him like shit, he just can't.

if he wakes up from a nightmare all he does is curl up and hug his legs to his chest until he falls asleep again.

if he's feeling sick he'll just lock his room and sleep it off.

if he passes out he doesn't say anything, just drink some water, eat something sweet and keeps going (and that's why it took them so long to figure out that he has a fainting disorder).

he sleeps with his door locked which is so rare for ghouls to do.

he never lets himself be sleepy or to fall asleep next to anyone, because he'll be vulnerable, and they always attack when he is vulnerable.

and there's nothing the others can do because he spent most of his life in the pit and his first month topside as the unwanted quintessence ghoul. he can't let himself be vulnerable around anyone.

#ghost #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #phantom #phantom ghoul #phantom ghost #kinda angst #i have thoughts in my head

[ohgoditssnek]

Reject gender.

Become God.

#i don't want your silly human roleplay i want to be the cosmic horror #become something more than a human #reach the true form of your identity #lmao i sound like im in a cult #it's about freedom of mind yaaalll #gender #is a lie #shitpost #i have thoughts in my head #:p

[chrzannekk]

some punk max + older campers doodles >:3 they're all around 15-16 ish in this au ered (now 20 i fear) becomes a camp counsellor in the future and works at camp Campbell, i need to draw her and max interacting i feel like preston would be interested in max's new look considering he made a performance w a punk outfit before, he knows a little on the topic and would like to know more of max's experience as a punk to enhance his shows ( which doesn't help him much. max has no idea what preston wants/doesnt wana talk about it ) nikki and neil are step siblings, and they live out of state :) max and the duo are still super close and they message each other daily, and meet up on the rare occasion they all have time ( mostly when neil has time. he doesn't wanna skip lessons while nikki and max don't care about their schedule )

#camp camp #cc max #max camp camp #cc neil #cc nikki #cc preston #punk au #cc punk max #is that a tag that is even used #idk #i have thoughts in my head #little fun fact max is devious and he likes to hang out in abandoned buildings and vandalise the walls with paint markers #hes silly like that

[thatonecrookedsmile]

*kicks the front door with all the strength I have*

WAKE UP, CHILDREN. I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH.

Hey there IRIS fans. It's been a while. More than 3 months to be exact. I came once again to offer you my gifts. Behold…..breadcrumbs! :D

Yeah, that's all I have at the moment. I'm sorry.

I was reflecting on the idea of posting things that are more....small? Don't just post finished drawings. Maybe WIPs or, sketches, or in the case above, a doodle! Basically, I don't need to ONLY post finished drawings. Or drawings. Sometimes I can just. Post words, you know. I had the realization about this a while ago when I remembered that I'm on Tumblr. I can post (almost) anything here without limiting myself. Now, will I fulfill this? I don't know. Maybe I'll do that, or I'll just post it when I have a drawing ready to post. I don't promise anything lol.

Anyway, IRIS! I made this little doodle of Goliath while I was out of the house. I only drew his Pre-Explosion version once and it was in that Transmission 3 drawing. As a joke too. So I tried to do something a little more serious. This time…he has a face! I thought it turned out good. I think I found a good way to do his hair too. I decided to color it (and do a light digital lineart over it) to make it more pleasant. Simple, but it looks nice! (I'll leave the normal scribble unedited at the end of the post) Also, I know that in the only art we have of P.E Goliath it doesn't show him with irises and pupils in his eyes. I drew them here because I thought it would be cool.

Next stop is to practice drawing his body. I have to learn how to draw more muscular bodies. Goliath has to live up to his name (and he deserves the muscles tbh)

It goes without saying that I did this after watching the new chapters of Story of Vegala. And speaking of that: i'm gonna be honest with you: I think this is my favorite part of the IRIS story/lore drops posted so far.

It's quite intriguing to see the very story that happened before everything we've seen so far. It's also nice to receive what I've wanted for a while: Tyrant and Fate Lore. It's good to have more information about two characters that we've known (more or less) for a long time now. Especially their origins (broader origins than just *the first beings that walked the Earth* or *beings that came from distant worlds in search of the emblem*)

SOV also makes me excited for other things. Like, obviously, HOAA:R. Releasing soon! December is knocking on the door, you know. But I also really want to see Jaws of Vegala now. And whatever happens in the story that takes place after GT.

So again, SOV is currently my favorite part of the lore, I believe. The anguish of waiting for the next episodes this past week was real.

I'm talking too much once again, SHIT. Yeah, Pre-Explosion Goliath. He deserves the world (He's NOT a monster, he's just BIG and STRONG, and needs a functioning family *cries*)

I don't know when I'll do my next Big Piece related to IRIS. I had something in mind but I lost the will. But I was thinking about doing something related to Solitude for a while. Hold this thought,then. Until then, I'll sketch Tyrant next. Because I like his official design.

Also, here is the unedited scribble:

#iris official #pre-explosion goliath #goliath iris #will ryan originals #heart of an artist: resurrection #iris: story of vegala #heart of an artist #dagames #crookedsmileart #once again apologizing for writing the next chapter of the bible in the desc #it will happen again #tempted to talk about IRIS here because of the new chapters that were recently released #I have thoughts in my head #and I want to communicate with the community #the community is already very very small anyway #it doesn't hurt to try #Man; I can't wait for the epilogue #(This post is being posted after Chapter 10 was released and the epilogue hasn't come out yet) #(just contextualizing)

[takemyhand-justice]

people telling me to watch the bear remind me of how I tried to convince people to watch succession. them saying this episode felt like the embodiment of a panic attack, I’ve never felt more stressed in my life and it’s the greatest show is not entirely dissimilar to please watch this life changing doomed by the narrative tragedy about late stage capitalism.

#the bear #succession #I have thoughts in my head #I believe the bear is as a good as everyone says but I’m still waking wounded after succession

[honeybeekao]

if that post hits 30k notes maybe i'll cave and draw something based off it cuz awawaw

#i have thoughts in my head #dino wont shut up

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

#sorry this was funnier in my head #but after i read that post I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT #gen z batkids is the most Cursed thing i've read today and i love it #at first i had so many Thoughts about how my brain CANNOT reconcile tim as anything but a 90s kid but then i read that line about damian and #i feel like they'd mess with him sometimes by randomly quoting memes in unison #almost started to overthink how in This Particular Timeline jason might have missed out on this meme because he was Not Alive #but for the purposes of this silly joke i choose to believe dates are irrelevant #that is all thank you #clarisse doodles #batfam #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd

[hansoeii]

stuck in the rain.

#I can't stop drawing them under the rain #they're on their way back home to the bookshop after a nice date at the ritz #and oh no it suddenly started raining and they only have one umbrella #how unfortunate #btw i made this the perfect size for a lockscreen on purpose #go ahead and use it if you like!! #i love drawing them so much #head empty no thoughts just good omens #thank you neil gaiman #good omens #good omens fanart #good omens 2 #good omens 2 fanart #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow fanart #my art #digital art #david tennant #michael sheen #neil gaiman

[peachebo]

I remember I had a concept about alternative ending of sl where michael brings ennard home and jus lives very normal life with a killing machine...

also here's ennard with da cat

#yep they are besties in my head #also sibling coded not only bc elizabeth but ennard taking michael clothes to cover themselves when going outside #i am having thoughts about them like a lot #fnaf #michael afton #ennard #fnaf sister location #cat #2k... #3k..... #4k!!! #5k??!! #6k wha- #7k guys r u crazy... #8k #9k bro #10k happy new year!!

[puppyeared]

learned something about myself lately

#i dont think its even the fact almost all my characters are somewhat beasts in one way or another. i just #really like tails and wish i had one myself #and then my oc designs are a little tame theyre mostly human shaped with animal features. but they always have tails #my eyes have recently been opened to the appeal of long whiplike unicorn tails.. so flowy and curly #something about the tuft at the end being long and swirly just does something for me.. #maybe it would make sense to change auggies tail shape so it looks like a meteor. her design is mainly pink with hot pink accent #so it would be cool to use that and orange to make it look like a fire meteor.. maybe itll help complement the blue/green in her design #head full of ocs today so expect a ramble later #if i had a tail i think it would be long with a kink. so it kind of folds over once but not in a curl #when it wags its kind of a swaying motion. i have thought about this a normal amount #yapping

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[ohgoditssnek]

People complain a lot about Gogol's "Dead souls" being a click bait because there's no scary ghosts and it's just a story about some guy scamming the government, but honestly.

Buying dead people in order to trick the system is some real capitalistic horror.

#litrature #nikolai gogol #dead souls #i have thoughts in my head #also it could be new souls game lmao #wonky Russian slavery being awful again

[myrkulitescourge]

the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me

just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.

like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.

in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.

how am i supposed to act normal about this.

#i need to lay down #just drop this in there right at the beginning why not! #that’s INTENSE. and completely sincere considering his demeanor at the party. god #he’s so… nice. in the romanced epilogue. i expected him to be a little smug and jokey #if tav told him the others weren’t doing so hot without the two of them around #but he takes it so genuinely and with visible disappointment?? literally shocked me #i thought he would say oh of course their lives have taken a turn without our impressive leadership lol! #and then redirect into something a little less flippant #but man. he just gets sad. astarion six months into a loving relationship is like a stray cat that instantly gets cuddly when you adopt it #dude went cotton candy marshmallow saccharine sweet in a HEARTBEAT #bless the others with your presence he says. i’ll always be here he says. we have forever after all he says. #head in my hands. how could they do this to me #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion #bg3 epilogue spoilers #bg3 spoilers #baldur’s gate 3 spoilers #bg3

[thethingything]

I just realised we can use the polls to ask the clone fucking debate questions. let's go!

(two answers are missing because you can only have 10 options. oh well)

#thoughts #poll #🍬 post #memes #I'm so sorry it popped into my head and I was like yeah I have to do this #we reference this meme constantly within the system

[lynsstrange]

i think one of the things the pjo show has understood the best so far is specifically the isolation and insecurities that come with being neurodivergent, and how it reflects onto percy. the book touches on it a lot, but i think rick really wanted to push percy's own internal struggles more obviously to the forefront for the show.

Percy references again and again how inattentive and zoned out he is constantly, and how he blames himself for being stuck in his own world. He feels crazy and misjudged by everyone around him just for having what everyone else presumes is a very active imagination, hyperactivity, and a brain that works differently. and when people do acknowledge his differences, even attempting to spin them positively to him, like Sally and "Mr. Brunner," it only makes him feel worse, because again the only thing they can tell him is that he's "special," inherently other, something he's come to associate with being an embarrassing and shameful thing, with Nancy calling him "special" as an insult. I've seen "special" thrown at nd kids as an insult by their peers over and over again since I was little. So Percy can't help but believe it's a negative thing, no matter what the adults that do support him in his life try to tell him, because it's been internalized that he's just different in a way that's bad and inferior, and that that there's a reason he's lonely and troubled and delinquent. Even if it was a positive thing, like Sally and "Mr. Brunner" insist to him, he feels inherently isolated and confused and wrong in the mortal world for being different, and like there's nothing that can change that or make him normal.

We see Percy break down in front of Sally after being expelled about how he's terrified something's irrevocably wrong inside him now. And his immediate reaction of rage and confusion when the only thing she can tell him, once again, is that he's special. And I think that is really going to resonate with a generation of nd people who've experienced these types of scenarios.

#this isn't the most eloquently spoken thought ive had lmao #but i wanted to get out some thoughts that have been brewing in the back of my head since i finished the episodes #so hopefully this makes semi-coherent sense and isnt just a lot of nothing #percy jackson #pjo #pjo series #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson show #percy jackson tv show #percy jackson disney+ #sally jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth

[bumpscosity]

i had a dream last night jerma casually said the f slur on stream looked over at chat and realizing what he just said started yelling "I CAN RECLAIM IT. I CAN RECLAIM. IT I CAN RECLAIM IT" before turning off his camera, saying "I HAVE TO LEAVE" and then turning off the stream

#the context was entirely neutral too like he wasn't calling someone a slur #but now i just have jerma yelling 'I CAN RECLAIM IT' over and over again bouncing around in my head #sassy speaks #dreams #he was laughing as he was yelling it too like he knew he fucked up but also thought it was funny