#I had a lot going on

[unpretty]

in 2005 i went on a high school trip to france with my french class and since i didn't have a smart phone i was basically offline for a week. so it wasn't until we were back in an american airport that i found out mitch hedberg was dead. i promptly burst into tears. i was not the only person upset in that airport. the sense of mourning was palpable. until one of my classmates saw me crying and was like, "you heard about the pope too, huh?" and i was like, "the WHAT". it turned out the people in that airport were not as plugged into the stand-up comedy scene as i had assumed. which was fine but i was a pretty hardcore discordian neopagan at the time so you can imagine how i felt about people assuming i had strong feelings about pope john paul the second. as far as discordianism was concerned, i was also a pope. NO ONE'S GONNA APPOINT A NEW MITCH HEDBERG i wailed on the bus. THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER. i was right but i think if my catholic classmates had pushed me out a window it probably would have been justified.

#original #i had to look up the publication date of the god delusion to check if i was an atheist yet #i was not #i was also still deep into otherkin lmao #i had a lot going on #the year after this is when i dropped out

[human-encounters-diary]

Day 15

We are set to arrive on Fendaar in two cycles. As we are currently stuck on the SIIR Noxos, I have concluded that the passages of time that I am free of duties would be best spent continuing to observe the human. The human, on the other hand, seemed to have different plans in that matter, as it took me an unusually long amount of time to locate her.

As I eventually found her, she seemed to be working on one of the control panels in the main control room, so I may excuse her absence with duties she had to attend to. As she saw me, although, she seemed rather…excited (this is obviously mere speculation, as the study of the Terran so far has provided far too little evidence to prove such theories)?

As she rolled out from under the control board and sighted me, her face once again split into a wide opening revealing her horrifying amount of teeth.

"Hey! Dude!", she said, raising to her full height and stepping towards me, still baring her teeth, although I did not recoil, as I did not want to seem impolite. She raised her arms, each pointing into a different direction, away from their connection to the human's body.

"Human Quinn. How are you?"

"Me? I‘m fine, the whole 'wandering around in space' thing just made me throw up, I honestly don‘t know why they insisted on keeping me there for two whole days."

The ends of her fingers, studded with claw-like (rather short and rounded instead of sharp, perhaps they were not meant to function as claws at all, or perhaps the beings on Terra were far different from what I knew, and therefore a shape like this was far more useful to hunt) protuberances, scraped over the back of the connection between her head and her upper body. If I interpreted her facial expression correctly, she seemed to be thinking.

"Maybe I got a light concussion too, I’m not entirely sure. But it's improbable, because I’m fine now."

I decided to focus on one piece of information at a time. "Well, this "throwing up" can certainly not be a healthy nor normal process, otherwise, it would not seem so violently painful and involuntary, would it?"

"Well it‘s not…unnatural, it‘s just something that can happen. And about health, it‘s not unhealthy, it usually helps us to get rid of stuff that is bad for our bodies!", she eludicated, moving one of her arms in a rather random manner.

"The scientists have concluded that this fluid is highly acidic. If this 'stuff' is so harmful to you, wouldn‘t it just dissolve in this fluid before being able to cause any further harm?"

Quinn seemed to think about that. 

"Well, just because it gets dissolved, doesn‘t mean it‘s gone, you know? It's still in our bodies, and we have to get rid of it somehow. And if it needs to be fast, we throw up. Honestly, I‘d definitely explain this further to you, but Biology‘s never really been my strongest subject, ya know what I mean?"

I did not, in fact, know what she meant, but I decided against questioning her further.

After a pause the Terran spoke up again: "So, this planet we're landing on..." "Fendaar.", I clarified. "Right. So, this planet that we‘re going to, it‘s a desert, right?" "That is correct." "So, is it a sand, an ice or, I guess you could also count rock desert? 'Cuz on my planet, we‘ve got all of those types."

"Fendaar‘s ecosystem is mostly made up out of sandlike landscapes with rather scarce vegetation and biodiversity. Most of the planets in system 36-54 have rather extreme temperature ranges, and Fendaar is no exception.", I eludicated.

"Alright, cool.", she spoke, rolling back under the underside of the control panel she had been working on previously. She seemed to be sitting, or rather lying, on a piece of metal with four small wheels attached to it, allowing her to move it around.

"Your planet.", I initiated. 

"Yeah?", she responded, while continuing her work on the wiring.

"Am I assuming correctly that your planet has a far bigger biodiversity?"

"Oh, yeah.", there was a small spring in her voice, as if she had let out air in the middle of speaking. "Big biodiversity. We‘ve got deserts and rainforests, coral reefs and permafrost - although perhaps not for that long anymore - mountain ranges and all that stuff."

"Interesting.", I supplied, for lack of a better response. If Terra had such differences in temperature and landscapes, it was a logical conclusion that the humans had evolved to survive under such circumstances.

"Yeah."

It was unusually quiet for some time. That was, until Quinn rolled out from the underside of the control panels.

"Alright, I‘m done." She took a deep breath before opening her mouth once again. Then, all of a sudden, the muscles of her face started contracting as if she was plagued by an invisible pain. Her eyes squeezed shut and she let out horrifying noise, holding an arm angled in front of her nose and mouth. The noise itself was not particularly loud or long, but I recoiled either way, as a measure of safety. I could not be certain if this gesture was meant to harm me, after all.

Quinn‘s arm sank down again as her other hand rubbed at her nose. She huffed, a sound far less threatening than the one she had produced a moment ago. One of the hair patches above her visual organs raised itself, prompting the question to arise if human hair was controlled by muscles or if it had a mind of its own, although this was a question that could be further investigated later. One of the corners of her mouth raised, revealing the seemingly sharpest teeth in her mouth.

"I guess dust is an inter-galactic thing, huh?"

I did not respond. Her face muscles contracted, causing the skin above her visual organs to crease.

"Hey, you okay? You‘re looking a little spooked over there."

"Human, I do not wish to cause you discomfort, but, if I may ask, what was the purpose of the noise you just uttered?"

She did not respond for a moment, blinking with both of her eyes as she stared at me. It was quite unsettling, considering her previous explanation, that most humans preferred not being stared at. 

"I…sneezed?" The creases in the skin above her eyes deepened.

My front pliers uttered another rattling sound. "What is this 'sneezing'? What purpose does it serve?" I admit, I was quite curious. Terrans seemed much more complex than I had previously assumed.

She paused, seemingly to think of an answer. "Well, it‘s like…if something is bothering us at or in out nose, like dust, for example, it‘s kind of the natural response to that. To keep things out of our bodies that don‘t belong there."

"Human bodies seem to require a lot of defense mechanisms.", I commented.

She raised and lowered the connection of her arms to her upper body, baring her teeth once again while raising herself to her full height, using one of her arms as support.

"Y’know, it’s surprisingly hard to explain something you’re so used to to someone who’s never heard of it. I guess I still have to work on the whole 'awareness that I‘m around aliens' thing. S‘ kind of surreal."

She patted off her clothing, as if to remove non-existent filth once again. I had noticed the past few cycles that most of her clothing seemed to consist of several, usually differently-coloured, pieces of fabric. 

Her clothes usually covered her body from the connection between her arms and torso to the connection between her legs and, presumably, her feet. Her feet were usually also covered, although I could not determine the purpose it was supposed to serve in the environment we are currently in, although the theory that the conditions on Earth are vastly different compared to the ones on the SIIR Noxos is gaining more probability, based on the Terran's narrations.

The human seemed to evaluate a question she wanted to ask (this is, of course, a mere speculation based on previous observations: her face muscles were contracted to form a crease over her visual organs, which could so far most likely be interpreted as confusion, thoughtfulness or discomfort; her head was both slightly raised and tilted to one side at the same time, a gesture that was most likely supposed to convey an ongoing thought process).

Although, before she could utter a noise, V-7 informed us of a request from the Vitrichl to gather for a matter of importance.

The purpose of his summoning was to divide the crew into several smaller groups that were to be assigned with different tasks to fulfill once we sucessfully landed on Fendaar.

I was grouped with the Terran, which was unsurprising, as well as Tkzt, a member of the species that is widely known across the galaxies as Ctzas (it is to note that the Ctzas have not evolved any form of written language and communicate exclusively through clicking and chittering sounds. The written forms of, for example, names of this species, are written by other species to produce approximately the same sound as the Ctzas make when recited verbally).

Tkzt, as a member of the unit controlling supply chains and keeping a list of the stock of the SIIR Noxos, would make a helpful addition in our task of seeking out the nearest settlement in order to stock up on supplies.

After all matters of importance were settled, the crew dissipated, continuing their respective tasks. The Terran was ordered to stay and to assist the Vitrichl in another matter, which is the reason I did not cross paths with the human again for the rest of this cycle.

Despite this, I am positive that accompanying the human on an foreign planet will give me a further insight into the species' mannerisms and interaction manners with foreign species, which will prove to be helpful further on in studying the human.

#*does that scene from movies but in reverse* #*a bus passes through your field of vision and suddenly I am standing on the opposite of the street in a trenchcoat & shades hiding my face #*In my hand a new chapter* #So honestly #I'm really immensely sorry that I disappeared for almost two whole months without a word #I had a lot going on #Duties #Deadlines #Having to travel out of the country two different times #But now I'm back!! #And I got a lot more free time so I'll be able to go back to my normal updating schedule of once a day #I spent some time thinking about where I wanted this story to go etc etc #But now I'm really excited to have this chapter finally released bc I was honestly struggling with it and the storyline #But now it's done and I'm back on the track :))) #day 15 #nr.15 #I wouldn't be surprised if most of you thought I was just dead and never gonna continue this lol #Also obviously thank you for the messages I got asking if I was okay and if I was continuing this #While also staying very polite #You guys are great <3 #Thanks for your patience and also for the 300 more followers I got while I was gone #Ok now the actual tags this already almost as long as the actual chapter again #I put it under a read more tho bc the chapter itself is also pretty long #earth is space australia #humans are weird #space australia #humans are space orcs #humans are insane #humans are terrifying #humans in space

[cadaverkeys]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

#rambles #if you are a person who is into delicate skills #like lacemaking or printing or sewing #you will know fair well just how non expansive the knowledge online is in comparison to written guides from like the 50s #there was a time where at least one person in the household had to know a constructive skill #but in the modern day there is just less ans less demands for comprehensive guides #library propaganda #im stuck doing an essay rn but bc i have covid i cant go to the library and its totally fucked me #i want to source a lot of the stuff i read irl but i just cant go and get it and theres no online ver

[ionomycin]

Grief

ref photo by @jawsstone

#artists on tumblr #my friend let me use a really gorgeous photo they took #it made my brain go brrr #and i had to draw this #i usually take my own reference pics so it was cool to work from someone else's #enjoyed drawing this a lot #despite the subject matter #i saw a pretty scene of a narrow alley #with white stairs stained black from people walking on them #and somehow it took my brain here #grief visits every house

[lazylittledragon]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

#i'd have like. five. which isn't a lot but IT KEEPS HAPPENING #stranger things #platonic stobin #steddie #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #here we go again boys #i've had this floating in my head for a Minute and i was like #nah i'm not gonna do it #maybe i'll anonymously write a fic #but no we're mombin posting on main #i think on twt we agreed it's a 'what's the worst that could happen' situation #platonic co parents can be so so so personal #also i have One more stobin wip and then bg3 again i swear #when i have a baby i Will be putting my giant black wings on beforehand #they have to know what kind of family they're coming into #cw pregnancy

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[senblades]

Distortions, and ways to see the world

#YALL this is 10 pages and it killed me #lmao just kidding I had a great time csp makes things a lot easier #persona 5 #goro akechi #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #shuake #akeshu #persona #classic jazz club convos #complete with existential dread #EDITED BECAUSE IM STUPID #there's a slightly scuffed version of this going around now whoops

[aitadjcrazytimes]

#lmao #for anyone who's curious the process went: #send ask to aita official #blog blows up #someone realizes its a chexer fic #i follow them bc they seem cool #i join their rvb server #their encouragement pushes me to finish the Actual Fic i was working on #i expand the fic to be more of a whole au after it comes out much better than expected #the next fic in the au that i work on has to do with a character's brain injury #this leads me to do research into brain injuries #''......huh. this sounds. a lot like the neurological symptoms that my doctors have been saying is just part of my anxiety disorder'' #think on that for a while #go to the ER for unrelated reasons #remember my theory #bring it up to the doctor #Doctor Immediate Concern #doctors orders a ct scan #''eeyup! that there's some atrophying and a chiari malformation! y'ever had a head injury'' #(i had had several) #''well! shit! time to refer you to neurosurgery :) see if we cant do somethin about all that memory loss and severe pain and shit'' #and now we are here #it also lead me to research osddid systems for the first fic #and now my therapist is having me tested for osdd because i did not know that those symptoms were not a thing everyone experiences #so like. thanks for helping me meet friends who could encourage me to engage with the things i like + learn more about myself #^ ^ <3 #im actually not gonna say ''ok last update fr this time'' bc idfk maybe something WOULD be funny to post on here

[cosmosnout]

Revelations.

#LOOL a lot OF ppl Though it said ate instead of are so I had to go back and change it #and that’s how Marco found out abt Ace’s dad #AGGHH I COULDT FIND THE ORIGINAL TEMPLATE FOR THIS (idk if there even is one) BUT SAW SOMEONE DO THIS AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF THEM #anyhow had to hit marco with that yassification beam 2000 #marco Fans are the strongest ppl out there bc ur man really out here with all that ass on his head /lovingly #anyway I love the wb pirates <<33 #pov: you pull up to the bad handwriting competition but see me #art #my art #fanart #one piece #portgas d ace #ace #Marco #marco the phoenix #op

[bluegiragi]

some domestic monster!141 antics :3 (more notes under the cut)

early access + nsfw on patreon

-Gaz and Price sleep shirtless to lessen discomfort around their wings

-When the 141 sleep in a pile, Price tends to try cover them all with his remaining wing. It's a subconscious dragon thing done out of protective instinct for a hoard.

-Soap is scared of heights. His inner wolf is very uncomfortable not being on the ground.

-Currently, Price is the only person Simon is okay with being fully shirtless/naked around.

#poly monster141 au is a go people i repeat it is a go #gaz and soap have definitely messed around #and i definitely think that si and price had/have an on-and-off thing #hehe #im having lots of fun with this au #bear with me #the slow burn's gotta slow burn #monster 141 au #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #cod mw2 #giragi art

[salamispots]

on to the next gift wip

#rug hooking #fabrication #wip #purely personals #don't mind the really warm lighting haha #had to undo most of the face/head the first time because something wasn't working out #as well as the paws but a lot happier with how it looks now #also discovered the delight of using extremely uneven chunky yarn #scrubs hands over yarn loops every time I trim off the extra yarn tails sticking out hahhkjfd #can't really go to sleep yet so have this wip

[oifaaa]

I can not stress enough that the scene where Percy sends Medusas head to the gods is literally what made me fall in love with Percy as a character bc think about it hes just started his first quest, he's in more danger then he's ever been in his whole life, knowing almost every monster and God is currently out to get him personally, and the most important person in his life has been kidnapped by the god of the dead - so what does he do? He chooses to actively makes the situation worse by sending a middle finger right to the gods bc yeah fuck the gods

#percy jackson #like i mentioned before #i do have a lot of trouble remembering things from the book #but that scene #i had to put the book down bc fuck me #percy you little shit i love you so much #pjo #pjo spoilers #percy jackson spoilers #realised i hadnt spoiler tagged my last post #thats shitty of me #ill go fix that now #walker scobell #percy jackon and the olympians #oifaaaposts

[finedinereception]

“lilith got charlie in the divorce” “lucifer got charlie in the divorce” actually alastor got her

#update: #yall had your fun but i dont want a post this big #RIP MY ACTIVITY FEED FR #I DONT EVEN LIKE THIS SHOW LIKE ITS NOT EVEN GOOD #HE DIESNT EVEN LIKE KIDS??? HELP. IMAGINE GOING TO HELL FOR SERIAL MURDER AND NOW YOURE JUST BEING PETTY LIKE THAT #like i have a LOT of criticisms for this show but this one joke really got me holy shit.

[mienar]

from us it begins

instagram | shop | commission info

#artists on tumblr #illustration #animated illustration #animation #backgrounds #background illustration #animated gifs #stars #celestial #cozy rooms #myillust #hellooo! :') it's been a while! i really hope that you've been well healthy and safe #had a lot going on for me for the past couple of months but things are settling down thankfully and i can dedicate time to making art again #this is more of a whimsical/fantasy-like artwork - the thought or idea of seeing glowing stars up close #i know very well that stars dont work like that lol but i've always liked the idea that stars can be small and fit at the palm of our hands #a whimsical dream for sure! #anyways! i hope you'll like this! and i hope you'll have a lovely day or night ahead! <3

[yaolmao]

simp

#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE #my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life #this changes everything #I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle?? #I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on #anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing #I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat #ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing #like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems #I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk #chuuya nakahara #dazai Osamu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #myart #I’m gonna post and pass out now

[pangolin-404]

The Lovers by Sneha Solanki // The Kiss by Kelly Mark // TV Garden by Nam June Paik (x2) // Sistine Chapel by Nam June Paik // TV Clock by Nam June Paik // Untitled (The Sky is Blue) by Sandy Smith // More Wrong Things by Carolee Schneemann // Nabil Saleh // Puma XO Tao by Dan Dowding/Media Pollution

#thoughts #crt #aesthetic #objectum #<- who said that. anyways #little gallery for myself #anyways if anyone has discovered other exhibitions featuring crt monitors . send them in please I like them lots #the lovers & the kiss are among my favorites.. but whatever nam june paik had going on is also great #hall of fame #<- I GUESS