#I get that feeling often myself

[canisalbus]

rubs my face on your art in the hope of absorbing your skill, which is a normal thing to want

I'm happy to hear my art is facial absorption worthy!

#answered #anonymous #been there #I get that feeling often myself

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

#dc comics #dc #damian wayne #dick grayson #talia al ghul #batfamily #dc robin #nightwing #anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther #like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it #they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc #but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself #anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did #it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios #also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul #you will always be famous to me #son of the demon origin...bwahhh #anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic #but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up #so go look at that as well #anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy #i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!) #so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!) #when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself #it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on #I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue #i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :] #idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups #so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat #(it's me they should hire me. please DC i have ideas listen to my red hood pitch PLEASE-)

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

#hobbies #writeblr #what stage of weirdness to write about hobbies on my hobby writing blog #although i know OBJECTIVELY i am a creative person #i often forget to label myself that bc i don't feel im an ARTISTIC person bc i don't do anything like that professionally #writing doesn't even feel like a hobby i think that surprises nobody for me to be like #it would be easier for me to stop . like. breathing. #which feels cheesy and trite but listen im running late for a meeting and all i really want to say is like #i couldn't even consider writing my hobby bc it makes my skin crawl bc it makes it sound like it's not important to me #bc we really devalue hobbies. like entirely. #it HAS to be a job. it must #also idk if this is clear but i personally get stuck in this space where i CANT create bc i am putting so much pressure on myself #to make it RIGHT #and im like ... idk i only have an hour #so probably shouldnt get involved in this thing

[stuckinapril]

Well it may seem like the end of the world but tomorrow’s a new day & the sun will shine just a little brighter with each moment that spring inches closer & you will find the people who cocoon you like a warm wool blanket & you won’t have to cling so hard to those who strip you bare anymore

#I promise. And I love you #Don’t be desperate for love & connection when the shoe doesn’t fit and it ends up just #Squeezing you so tight you no longer feel your toes #There’s no point in that #Either the shoe fits or it doesn’t but either way u will find the perfect shoe #What the fuck am I saying . I’m getting a therapist soon but I mean this I love u #I think I need to remind myself of this so often that it’s important to write it down and put it out in this world and do right by it #All of you are divine angels and you only deserve the BEST and I mean that. I adore u dearly

[liauditore]

cw// implied character death, double life nonsense

because you are love itself.

#my art #trafficblr #double life #divorce quartet #<-- insane about how scott killed pearl in limlife. #this comic has been sitting unfinished in my files for a good month its def not finished to my usual quality but god it needed to be done #so uh scott... yeah. i like villain scott but not pure evil scott. i like a scott whos scared of being loved and manipulates others to spar #himself the pain. i like a scott who ditched pearl because their friendship was actually becoming real and when the server gods confirmed i #with DL he freaked out a bit and ran off. #ofc u can interpret this comic however u want but i was just thinking way too hard abt smajhor #i feel like often ppl get divided into scott did nothing wrong vs scott is pure evil alot of the time #which is understandable cus like i said with fanart/fic u only have so much space to show someones personality #but idk i like him all angsty. like i know im a bad person but to keep myself safe i need to keep being like this. #hes so blorbo *puts him in a blender* #i hate him *wraps him up in a blanket and takes him home* #cw implied death #cw implied violence #scott #pearl

[gayvampyr]

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

#‘queer people were banned from and shamed for having sex and that’s where a lot of our activism stemmed from’ and #‘not liking or having sex is considered abnormal and a mental illness and also needs to be destigmatized’ are concepts that not only can but #often do coalign #it’s esp important to consider that a lot of lgbt ppl who have a tricky and strained relationship with sex are like that because of trauma #which is very common for queer folks #it’s really not an ace-only thing #like i am sex repulsed but it’s very hard to discern if it’s because i’m asexual or if it’s the trauma. either way i deserve to have those #feelings and be included in lgbt spaces and discussions about sex and treated as just another queer person with a different experience #instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours #im so sick of people in this community trying to pit us against each other. as an ace lesbian that shit is so toxic and harmful #my relationship with sex is fluid. im sex-positive always‚ but i often find myself sex repulsed. im otherwise neutral about it but im sick #of people acting like it’s either you enjoy sex and have it frequently or you hate it and you shame everyone who has it like youre a puritan #and it’s often aphobes who bought into that ‘aces are puritanical celibate straights who want ppl who have gay sex to die or think they’re #‘dirty’ or some shit. and it was literally 90% crypto-aphobes pretending to be aces to get people to adopt that into their belief system #the same way crypto-t/rfs pretend to be trans women who want to prey on the ‘innocent women’ #and y’all will use those posts/screenshots as ‘evidence’ that whatever scapegoat you’ve selected is actually inherently bad/homophobic/ #misogynistic/etc and not even #acknowledge the giant hole in your logic cuz you’re too busy trying to find a scapegoat #it’s the same tactics and y’all fall for it every time #text post #like. lesbians are CONSTANTLY getting hounded and told that we’re broken or mentally i’ll for not showing interest in (having sex with) men #for the same reason asexuality is considered bad or wrong or weird #not showing interest in heterosexual relationships or sex is why this is so important #anyone that falls outside the scope of heterosexuality is part of this community whether you like it or not

[naofaun]

It's normal to feel jealous. In friendships, relationships, whatever. Jealousy is a very normal, very human emotion and most likely, it's telling you that a need of yours isn't being met. But sometimes jealousy just shows up randomly and makes itself known for no reason. Maybe you have the happiest relationship possible and you still get jealous. Maybe all of your needs, and more, are being met. That's okay.

Never be ashamed of jealousy. Never be ashamed of anger or sadness or fear. These emotions are not “bad”, there is no such thing as bad emotions. You cannot be completely free of them, and they do not inherently mean you or the other person(s) is abusive.

Listen to what your mind is telling you. If you're jealous every single time your friend hangs out with someone that's not you; why? Are you scared of your friend liking the person more than you? Are you scared that you're not worthy of your friend's time and energy? Are you scared that maybe the other person secretly hates you and plans to turn your friend against you?

Whatever it is, its okay. Don't listen to people telling you that “non-abusers don't get jealous”. Because they do. It's just about how they handle the jealousy. If you listen to your body and figure out the underlying fear or insecurity, you're already doing way more than most.

Sometimes you can talk to your friend about that fear. Sometimes you can explain to them that you feel afraid when they hang out with other people because you're insecure. Do not ever make it out to be their problem, like something they should fix. They can understand and do their best to help you, but do not ever demand or even let them drop these friends for you. Unless the friends are genuinely awful people (which you should then have an entirely different conversation about), it is your friend's right to keep them as friends.

But maybe you can come to a compromise. Maybe when your friend is done hanging out with someone, they can tell you about what they did. Maybe instead of an obligation, its like a “oh my god I had so much fun and I want to tell someone about it” thing. They get to talk about how much fun they had to someone that cares, and you get to know that these other people didn't try to turn your friend against you, or whatever your fear may have been.

Anyway, my overall point is; jealousy is okay and normal. It usually covers some sort of insecurity or fear, like how anger can cover sadness or hurt. It doesn't matter how often you feel jealous - I'm a very very jealous person but I have coping mechanisms and ways to help me when I get jealous so that I don't hurt the person I'm jealous of. I will always suggest mental health assistance like therapy or medication if it's available, but sometimes, its more about the way you treat your feelings and the communication you have with your friends.

#obviously everyone is different #journaling my feelings and telling myself that my friends are so awesome that they deserve other friends #will not help every single person that gets jealous #but as a polyamorous person who has bpd and forms fps on my partners most often #ive learned how to cope with my jealousy without becoming overbearing and mean #it took me nearly my entire teenage life and im still nowhere near perfection #this isnt an instant process and im never going to stop feeling jealous #but i can recognize when im jealous and why and i can work on feeling better about it #{ ♡ } nao : misc . . . #jealousy #jealous #relationships #relationship troubles #bpd #borderline personality disorder #npd #narcassistic personality disorder #i dont know how common jealousy is in npd but it sure affects me a lot so #umm #mental illness #mental health #mental health advice #mental health support #bpd help #bpd support

[harmonysixx]

I wish I had a big brother who sang me sea shanties (and summoned hurricanes) when I'm upset.

#linked universe #lu wind #lu mask #hyrule warriors #my art #i told myself I wanted to do some low effort stuff #yeah that didn't work out #I feel like Tune/Wind gets forgotten most often when talking about the hw trio #typical middle child #I'm here to change that #my older brother just held me in a chokehold until I surrendered the tv remote when we were kids

[puppyeared]

I love you when we haven’t talked in weeks and months I love you when I have 12 unread messages I love you when im not in the mood to talk. We’re still friends even when we spend time apart

#it’s like delayed parallel play to me.. or perhaps sending letters in the mail #when I wrote this it’s because I have this thing that is like. having too much of a good thing #like if I talk to someone and love them too much I burn out.. does that make sense?? is that a universal experience??? #so sometimes when I have to spend time by myself I don’t stop loving my friends I think #especially because when I burn out I feel miserable for no reason and my brain comes up with ways to hate people #like oh they’re probably spending time with other ppl you’re disposable.. they probably forgot about you #one time I thought that if my friends were getting married they’d forget to invite me and it became a fear I’m trying to get over #but the answer I came up with is to keep reminding people I exist to stay present in their lives #even if it’s not as often as I can manage or would like. idk #yapping #feelings

[dyketubbo]

i remember seeing someone call tubbo a fully grown adult at 19 (obvs before he turned 20) and i gotta say. i think maybe some people have a really skewed idea of what constitutes as "fully grown". and also what constitutes as properly mature. thinking that at 18/19 (or hell even at 20/21) people are now fully grown and mature is insane to me like yall thats how you get people thinking their life is over at like 23 and that 30 year olds are senior citizens 😭😭 be fr

#this is a problem no matter where you look but i think a lot of ppl in the mcyt fandom esp seem to think once youre- #-considered an adult at all that it automatically means youre fully grown and mature and thats just nooottt really true for most ppl #which i think can lead people down to sort of dangerous paths especially because 'adult' is often defined by age of consent #and theres also some slight cultural differences like even just between the us and the uk where due to 18yr olds being able to drink in- #-the uk (and other places) i think it genuinely causes some dissonance #where i see often in the us that when youre 18/19 youre still treated (id say rightfully) as being rather young and not Truly a grown adult #hence. yk. the term Young Adult #but i think in places where the drinking age is younger it starts causing people to see younger people as more mature #which is also why a lot of predators like to push for the age of consent to be at a younger age like 15 or 16 #and why many lolicons try to point at japans age of consent (which for the record is complicated and not as simple as just 'age of consent- #-is 13') as a defense for how they act #because these sorts of milestones (having sex and drinking) are seen as marks of a true adult. which gets into a whole lot of other #complicated things #and often dangerous things and ways of thinking #ANYWAYS . basically 18/19 isnt fully grown 20 is also hardly fully grown itself #and theres ways to combat people infantilizing tubbo and other creators his age without acting like hes actually #fully grown and mature lol. i promise you humans are not fully grown at 20 years old are you kidding me 😭😭😭😭 #if youre in your 20s you still have a lot of time and space to grow i promise. do not fall for the idea that your life is done by like 23 #idk. im only 18 myself but it just feels insane to me that if i were a creator people would be calling me a fully grown adult #not that im not an adult but i dont think im mature enough to be seen as fully grown and i guess itssss. sad? #to see other people my age think that turning 18 means youre fully grown. just really not true #theres a lot of 30 year olds who still see early 20yr olds as being practically babies we have Not made it to full maturity yet i prommy #mask mews

[pb-dot]

I find the way Fantasy High Junior Year treats religion to be fascinating, and evolving in an interesting way in the last couple of episodes. Like episode 14 makes it pretty clear, through Kristen's parents and Bobby Dawn that the helioic faith, ironically isn't much of a faith. There's no need for faith or belief there, they know who their god, Helio, they know he's a force interacting with their lives and their world, and they "know" that he is the only correct god to follow. This is in part a character flaw on their part, but is in a way also a logcial extrapolation of the cosmology of the D&D universe, or at least the particular branch of it in which Fantasy High resides.

Kristen stands as a stark contrast to this, where faith is all she has. Nobody knows whether Cassandra is alive, dead, or something in-between, and Kristen has chosen to believe that Cassandra is out there, somewhere. In a way, Cassandra is a better diety for doubt and mystery now than she was when she had a physical form one could see and interact with.

This is why the confrontation between Bobby Dawn and Kristen is so interesting to me, because while Bobby is technically correct in that Kristen's god is dead, it should tell him something that Kristen is still able to do the works of a cleric in Cassandra's name. That's not a fail state, that's a level faith that really justifies Kristen's sainthood, hell, we may be past the level of a saint at this point. This is the kind of stuff religious movements gets started off of. This is the kind of stuff that you only read about in ancient histories. It's happening in Bobby Dawn's classroom, and this corn pone televangelist motherfucker is too blinded by bitterness of Kristen ditching his religion, too drunk on the certainty of following The Right Way, to see this real life miracle unfold in front of him. This man shouldn't be a cleric teacher. Even if he managed to teach without biasing towards his Mean Girls crew of divinities and their followers, which I have no faith (heh) that he is able, or willing, to do, he still fails on a fundamental level. Bobby Dawn is beholding a wonder of modern faith, a messianic figure in the making, and opposes it. Not as a matter of conviction, but because is unable to comprehend it because it's not happening on "his team."

It's really interesting stuff, and it's shaping up to be one hell of a character arc for Saint Kristen Chillis Applebees as long as she doesn't get expelled.

#d20 fhjy #fantasy high junior year #Kristen Applebees #in which I ramble about faith and belief #you know Book Of Mormon (The Musical) often gets called “An Atheist's Love Letter to Religion” #and I never quite knew what to feel about that #but I will gladly call Junior Year a worthy claimant to the title #or maybe “Agnostic's Love Letter to Religion”? #I don't know the faiths or philosophies re:God of the people involved #but as an atheist-agnostic myself I will say that this plotline is really cooking #and it has a lot of clever things to say about religion at least in the D&D-verse #which is a whole situation in and of itself frankly #Honestly good on Brennan and the IH for going into depth on the religion angle a bit #it feels like an underutilized part of character building most of the time #and it's nice to see it get its day in the sun here

[suddencolds]

people who write long fics who somehow manage to keep the sneeze/symptom descriptions feeling fresh throughout and not repetitive - please teach me your ways 🤯

#i only know of so many mannerisms... #i only have a finite number of symptom descriptions to draw from... #trying so hard to not feel like i'm just repeating myself but #somehow this latest chapter is proving to be v difficult to write #semi unrelated but #even after spending 3 years getting a minor in creative writing i somehow cannot approach revision in #a normal way... having to go into a scene to add more and rearrange things then having the evaluate whether the end result still flows is #excruciating to me and i more often than not skimp out on that process entirely by just rewriting a scene from scratch instead of properly #doing revision 😭 but i do not have the energy to rewrite all of chapter 3 so #let's see

[sweetandglovelyart]

#Kirby #Kirby memes #Bandana Waddle Dee #Bandana Dee #Parasol Waddle Dee #Sailor Waddle Dee #Sailor Dee #rip Sailor Dee not appearing in a game since 2011 #I think my one complaint about Kirby as a series is that characters outside of the main four are often forgotten about or never used again #like I feel like every game will introduce a new character and then we maybe see them just one or two more times before they disappear #and don’t get me wrong I do enjoy seeing new characters introduced in new games #but I do wish that the characters that already exist would be acknowledged more or given more depth and development #because I feel like there’s a lot of potential there like we could see so many more stories or games involving them #I feel like there’s a lot of potential for more Magolor Epilogue type of stuff with other characters #I think it’d be nice to see what all the former antagonists have been up to after the end of their games #I think that Star Allies kind of does this a little bit but just on a surface level not more in depth #this is why I like exploring this stuff in my fanart lmao like if HAL/Nintendo won’t do it I’ll do it myself

[idolomantises]

there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities

#txt #was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn #and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting? #i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings #im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to #overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do #its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice #the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you #still lack #even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is. #and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included) #i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at #such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them #i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own #personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes #people really do find things that they love within them. #anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art #sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on #and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me #but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back #and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit #that it’s all worth it. ya know?

[lo-fi-charming]

like... daisy ending up in the coffin is significant. it's not just to be ironic. it being her "first encounter" with the entities after becoming an officer is significant. the fact her former partner - someone whose apathy and brutality as an officer she understood and sympathized with - is taken into the coffin isn't just scary because it could have been her, but because they end up in there for the same reasons. it's about the crushing, inescapable weight of what she's done, knows is unfair and awful, but does anyway.

daisy doesn't realize what she's been doing for most of her life is wrong just because she gets trapped in the buried; it isn't, like, detoxed out of her, affording her Sudden Clarity. and it isn't that she's forced to change, either. that she's made to suffer long enough that ~moral goodness~ manifests, as if that's how you become a better person, you just have to get what you deserve enough... the buried didn't MAKE daisy "good" or "regret" what she'd done - it's just that everything finally caught up to her. daisy was already afraid of herself and the things she'd done. she's been afraid at least since the first time she saw the coffin.

the buried is a fear that can represent the feeling of being trapped under so much Something that there is no way you can ever see yourself escaping it. the things daisy has done throughout her life are not done without consequence. in the past, she was always able to outrun it for this or that reason: luck, cleverness, a system that protected her, a partner that enabled her, etc. but it meant daisy had to keep running. keep feeding it and keep killing. keep digging the hole. nothing forced her to do it; you can argue quite a lot of things encouraged her behavior, but daisy admits it herself: she liked it. she was good at it. it's always been a part of her and that's what's scary.

and even when daisy gets rescued and is out of the coffin, is she? the weight is still there. she's still being crushed by it and there's still nothing she can do to escape it. the only difference between then and now is that daisy refuses to try running from it.

#endlesschatter #daisy tonner #sorryyy sorry i had to get some more words out #real talk i myself for a while did not really consider the obvious significance of daisy in the coffin for a long time #if only bc my realization that she's my fave tma char was kind of a slow burn #so i didn't think about it v deeply for a while... #but i feel like it is. something that's not often discussed #as... with most things... concerning daisy. imo imo #i get it but unfortunately she is my favorite so im terminally underfed and constantly musing #...there's something to be said about the similarities of the hunt and the buried. somewhere in here #it plays nicely into daisy being a hunt avatar who falls to the buried