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inaconstantstateofchange · 4 months

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Halsin and Silvanus

In the course of my recent research on Bane for a lore request fill, I found myself coming across a lot of very interesting information, previously unknown to me, about the other gods of the Forgotten Realms — in particular Silvanus. There was enough there that it inspired me to direct some extra research hours into this writeup, exploring all the reasons why Halsin is a quintessential Silvanite.

If you would like any more information on anything included here, please feel free to drop a comment or an ask, as there is truly so much that I just don’t have the space to include. (I usually end up with about 12-13 pages of source quotes before I begin one of these meta posts.)

My usual note that, as ever, these writeups will align with current 5e lore, and draw from 3.5e for additional supporting information. On rarer occasions – and always noted – I will reference 1e and 2e, but with the caveats that there is much more in those editions that is tonally dissonant with the modern conception of the Forgotten Realms, and thus generally less applicable.

Silvanus is easily one of the most misunderstood gods of the Faerûnian pantheon. This is even pointed out directly within his section of the 3.5e Faiths & Pantheons (an incredible resource if you are looking for more detailed information on the gods of the Forgotten Realms!):

Nevertheless, most outsiders view the church of Chauntea, as patrons of agriculture, as being favorably inclined toward the expansion of civilization, while the church of Silvanus is the implacable foe of those who would settle new lands. Neither impression is correct, yet the church of the Oak Father is often perceived as little different from those faiths that venerate the Deities of Fury.¹ [emphasis added]

Silvanus is most often perceived as strictly and impassively neutral, and intrinsically opposed to civilization in all its forms. While the former is something close to true – he is a very neutral-aligned deity, albeit not necessarily in a way that matches the popular conception of the term – the latter is certainly not. Humanity (if you’ll forgive the use of the term to designate in broad strokes the non-animal denizens of the Material Plane) is another facet of nature, one given equal consideration to the rest – plant, animal, and other – by Silvanus.²

While as a whole followers of Silvanus have a preference for the wilds and the deep forests, this is by no means a concrete rule. In fact, Silvanite clergy – those known as druids – are not uncommonly found in enclaves in larger cities of the Sword Coast and beyond, including Waterdeep.² Typically these druids will “create gardenlike walled areas of wild forest within the city limits.”¹ Wherever they may find themselves, Silvanite druids work to maintain the Balance of nature around them, through education and direct action both.

Silvanus’s dogma has much to tell us about his philosophy, and that of his followers. I’ll be splitting notable excerpts and their relation to Halsin into sections below.

Hold your distance and take in the total situation, rather than latching on to the popular idea of what is best.¹

Halsin was, from the first moment I met him in-game, so notable for his calm self-possession, and the clear forethought he gave to his actions and those of others. He does not feel bound by the expectations or approval of others – as noted in the dialogue he shares with the player if they compliment his choice of successor – but instead makes his own path following the direction of Silvanus’s wisdom and will.

Resort to violence and open confrontation only when pressured by time or hostile action.¹

This is showcased numerous times throughout the game, but perhaps best evidenced by an in-game note, from an unlikely source: the Priestess Gut. The note that you can find from her, regarding Halsin’s capture, notes the following:

Said he thinks there's somethin' rotten inside us. Inside me. Reckons he can help get rid of the rot. I told him we don't need any help from nobody. Never did. And especially not now the Absolute's taken a shine to us.³

Despite the immediacy of his capture at their hands, and the preceding attack already lodged against himself and Nettie⁴, Halsin’s primary impulse is to attempt diplomacy, and render aid. This only changes when his length of captivity has made it clear that there will be no changing the minds of the cultists, and they must be dissuaded by stronger means.

Banish disease wherever you find it¹

The way Halsin is first introduced to the player is as a healer – and not just any healer, but a masterful one, known throughout the region, who has the best chance of being able to assist with any manner of strange ailment. It is clear in all ways, as well as in the scenario referenced in the preceding section, that this is an aspect of Silvanus that Halsin strives to embody at all times.

Seek out, serve, and befriend the dryads and learn their names.¹

Particularly if we understand the reference to dryads here to extend to all fey spirits of nature, this gives new depth to Halsin’s friendship and devotion to the nature spirit Thaniel. Halsin, as a druid generally, and as an Archdruid in particular, would have a solemn and divinely-ordained responsibility to redress the upheaval of the Balance within the Shadowcursed lands. For that reason alone, it is no surprise that it was his primary motivation and consideration for nigh on a century.

However, even above and beyond that, Halsin had an additional motivator. Even before he became a druid, potentially before he was exposed to the teachings of Silvanus in anything but the most vague and general of terms, he was living them out by befriending the local nature spirit, learning his name, and seeking to understand, serve, and protect him.

Make others see the balance and work against those that would disturb it. Watch, anticipate, and quietly manipulate.¹

The primary source text I am using to draw this connection was written neither by nor about Halsin, yet I believe it still clearly reflects on him, for reasons that will become clear. This text is from a logbook recording activities of the Emerald Grove during the year 1371, 121 years prior to the start of the game’s storyline, and some years before the defining events in the soon-to-be Shadowcursed Lands.

6 Uktar: Sent two druids, some of the newer recruits, up north. Village there has had two years of failed crops and are unlikely to survive the next winter. 9 Uktar: A group from Baldur's Gate arrived. They've set up camp on the edge of the forest. Two bears and a fox came by. Their territory has been burned out. Half the fox's cubs died. Paying this new group a visit tomorrow. 10 Uktar: Visit did not go well. After telling me where to shove it, they said they'd cut down half the forest and burn out any wildlife that dared to stick around. Claimed they were going to 'farm the land and make a new city of their own.' Time to get creative. 12 Uktar: Mudslide did the trick. Buried half their farming equipment and made the rest useless. They won't be back any time soon. Got reports of a Red Wizard in the village south of here. Sending three rangers to investigate. If they catch even a whiff of a red cloak, I'm contacting the House of Silvanus.⁵

Given the timeline, while this is unlikely to have been written by Halsin himself, it seems like a strong possibility that it was written by his master, the previous Archdruid of the Emerald Grove, who perished in the fight against Ketheric Thorm. This is supported by the clear evidence that the author was an individual in a position to give direction and command to those around them, and to make the call for how to deal with various situations. Given too what we know of the druidic leadership structure, Halsin would have been the previous Archdruid’s Second, as Kagha was his.⁶

This man, then, would have greatly influenced Halsin as a druid of Silvanus and as a leader both. We can presume that this watchful duty and deliberation was one that Halsin himself took over, charged with doing his part to maintain the Balance of the region around the grove. This last point especially becomes even more significant in light of the following information, which comes not from Silvanus’s dogma, but rather from a description of his followers and traditions of worship:

Members of the clergy work to redirect development and control populations through covert sponsorship of brigands, breeding and selective placing of predators, and other means. It is essential that such work be as secretive as possible, so that most folk view the servants of Silvanus as essentially benign lovers of trees. Wildlife breeding, nursing sick animals, and replanting trees and wild shrubs are all work that should be done as publicly as possible to support this perception – and as necessary work to redress the slipping Balance, of course.¹ [emphasis added]

It is clear from all preceding evidence, and this excerpt in particular, that the druids as a whole put far more thought and strategy into every aspect of their appearance and the perception of them than they would ever want outsiders to become aware of. Halsin himself corroborates this in-game, noting that, while druids might not like politicking, that certainly does not mean they haven’t the skill for it when called upon.

For the sake of… well. (I have been advised by my legal counsel not to use “brevity” here.) Regardless! For the sake of my sanity and your time, I will refrain from going into further detail on specific instances that show this to be true of Halsin. I will merely encourage you, the reader, to consider the value this brings to his character and druids as a whole, and hope to encourage new appreciation for their refreshing complexity.

In closing, I leave you with one final quote:

Superior patience, natural knowledge, and anticipation are the hallmarks of a worthy servant of Silvanus.¹

¹ Faiths and Pantheons. 2002. p. 63.

² Dragon Magazine #412. June 2012. pp. 22-3.

³ Rancid Note. In-Game Text.

⁴ Halsin’s Journal, Vol I. In-Game Text.

⁵ Logbook XII: 1371. In-Game Text.

⁶ Grove Annals. In-Game Text.

#voidling speaks #my meta #bg3 meta #meta #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #halsin #bg3 halsin #silvanus #realmslore #forgotten realms

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heartlilith · 5 months

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Sun in the Houses - Solar Return Chart

A Solar Return Chart "refers to the time when the Sun returns to the exact position it was in at the time of your birth in your natal chart. Since the Sun takes approximately 12 months to complete its cycle. Hence, a Solar Return happens every year. And, since this journey begins at the time of your birth, the return usually happens a day or two before or after your birthday" (via)

I like to think of an SR Chart as a yearly Natal Chart. You can see where the planets of your SR Chart fall into your Natal Chart or you can view your SR Chart by itself. I think both are important to acknowledge because you might relate to one chart more than the other or you might relate to both charts. For example; if you have Sun in the 10th house of your SR Chart but it falls into your 2nd house of your Natal Chart, look at both houses below (Sun in the 10th and Sun in the 2nd).

It's also important to remember that your sun sign will be the same every year, so if you're a Leo Sun in your Natal Chart, you'll be a Leo Sun every year in your SR Chart. Your Sun Sign might stay the same but the house it falls in and the aspects it makes will be different.

The Sun in your SR Chart represents where your focus is for the next 12 months, where you'll be concentrating the most. It also represents key themes that show up for you throughout the year. It's crucial to look at how your Sun is aspected to get a better glimpse of how you this placement will affect you.

Calculate your Solar Return Chart

Sun in the Houses

1h: Sun in the 1st house of your Solar Return Chart means your focus will primarily be on yourself, your physical appearance, and how you approach life. Since your natal sun sign would be your solar return rising, it could make for a more transformative and prosperous year. This year, you might decide to reinvent yourself physcially in some way; you may start working out or you could get tattoos. You could dye your hair or revamp your wardrobe; something that puts an emphasis on your individuality and that asserts your identity through physical appearance. It could also mean that your personality is more noticeable in some way and the people around you take notice. Since your rising sign affects the way you approach the world, it could also mean that you assert confidence in various aspects of life. Meaning, wherever you go you go with confidence; whether that be the workplace, school, or at home; you're generally more confident in all aspects of life (of course this also depends on the signs occupying corresponding houses). You might find that you get more attention this year (good or bad depending on aspects) or feel more comfortable with getting attention. You may go through something that changes your approach to life and the world around you. Remember you don't have to have intent, you could find that these things happen on their own, naturally.

Advice: Focus on how you want to appear to the world this year, put yourself and your needs first, and don't be afraid to express yourself - it's a great time to do so. People will pay more attention to you, so try to stay out of drama and scandals. Instead; aim to inspire the people around you.

2h: Sun in the 2nd house of your Solar Return Chart puts focus on your finances, your self-esteem, and your material possessions. Depending on how the Sun is aspected, it could mean that you're motivated to find other sources of income in order to bring more stability into your life. Check where the lord of your 2nd house is in your SR Chart (if 2nd house is in Taurus - check where Venus is in the houses, if it's in Gemini, check where Mercury falls in your houses). This can indicate how you can create another source of income. If it's in the 3rd house; writing and communicating can help you make more money, like blogging or becoming a free lance writer. If it's in the 5th house, creating and selling a product could help or even babysitting. You could also be focusing on saving money and budgeting. Your self esteem and values could change depending on how it's aspected. For example: Sun opposite Uranus could indicate that your self esteem fluctuates and is unstable for this year, along with your finances. Sun sextile/trine Jupiter could indicate that this year will bring wealth and you'll be secure within yourself. Sun in the 2nd house could make you focus more on material possessions; you could buy more stuff (purses, make up, clothes, jewelry) in order to boost your self esteem. You might stand up for yourself more when you notice people disrespecting you or you might need to change your personality in some way; if people are taking advantage of you, you might notice you need to act more assertive, for example.

Advice: Save your money incase unexpected expenses come up, take time out for yourself to practice self care, occasionally buy yourself a gift, learn how to invest

3h: Sun in the 3rd house of your Solar Return Chart puts focus on communication, siblings, short distance travel and transportation. This could manifest as keeping a journal this year to write down your thoughts and experiences. You may notice you're more curious this year and find ways to satisfy your curiosity; through reading, online research, and short distance travel. You may travel to new places like a new restaurant, a new beach, a new place that's close to where you are now. You're more inclined to share your thoughts and opinions with confidence and engage in meaningful conversations with others. You could make friends with people through similar interests; joining a book club and meeting a new friend or finding a new library to go to and meeting someone there. You will be full of mental energy that could manifest as anxiety depending on how your Sun is aspected. The relationships with your siblings might change for better or for worse or you might notice you spend more time with them. You might want to get involved in your community by volunteering, substitute teaching, reading to the elderly. You could start a successful blog that shares information on what you're interested in (astrology, fashion, psychology).

Advice: Getting into therapy would be very beneficial now, try new things and hobbies, join interesting clubs and try things you normally wouldn't.

4h: Having your Sun in the 4th house of your Solar Return Chart can bring family, your mother, and your home environment into focus. You might start thinking about starting a family, or someone in your family could become pregnant. You might visit your family a lot more this year and spend more time with them or your parents might visit your home a lot more. You'll want to focus on making your home more "homey" and decorating it in a way that aligns with who you are. You may become closer with your mother and spend more time with her. If harshly aspected, you may notice your mother (4h) and your father (Sun) may divorce or fight a lot more this year (this depends on other placements too). You may find that you'd rather be at home than go out, you'll be more introverted and prioritize comfort. You may have to stay home against your will due to duties related to children or maybe you have to stay home to take care of your mother or parents. Depending on Sun aspects, this could mean harmonious relationships with your family or it could mean more arguments. You might order a 23 and Me test to find out more about your ancestry and nationality.

Advice: Spend more time trying to get your family together, create happy memories with them and take pictures so you can look back on it. Focus on your home space and implement things that make it more comfortable. Invite people over for events or maybe throw a house warming party.

5h: Sun in the 5th house means focusing on hobbies, creativity, having fun, your inner child and children in general this year. This could mean less work and more play, whether that happens naturally or intentionally. You might take off work to go on vacation or even take work off to do something fun with your kids. You might pick up an old hobby or a new hobby that takes up your free time. Going out, being with friends, going to parties, throwing parties, or doing whatever your definition of fun is will be highlighted this year. You may notice that you're around more children this year which could result in connecting with your own inner child. For example, blowing bubbles with kids or pushing them on a swing could remind you of your own happy childhood memories. Connecting with your inner child this year is crucial; eating your favorite childhood meal, looking through old photos, or engaging in conversations with kids will be really beneficial. Self expression through hobbies, art, or writing can interest you this year. Since Sun in home in the 5th house, this almost always gaurantees an overall comfortable year (if Sun is badly aspected, this placement could make the aspects less intense). You could be more extroverted, creative, and carefree this year. You may find that you go on more dates or spend time on dating apps.

Advice: Focus on pleasure. What makes you happy? Your inner child happy? Try expressing yourself through artistic endeavors. Don't take life so seriously this year.

6h: Sun in the 6th house in the Solar Return Chart can indicate increased focus on physical health and wellness, daily routines, and your relationship to your peers/coworkers. This year you could end up making a dietary change; becoming a vegetarian or simply cutting out sugar. You could focus on what makes you feel good physically; working out and eating healthy. Depending on how the Sun is aspected, this could help you to "glow up" this year. You may try out yoga, pilates, or another workout class that interests you. Your daily routines will help you become more confident. We already talked about working out and eating healthy; this could also mean starting a skincare routine, a bedtime routine, or simply jotting down tasks in your planner. You may seek out alternative healing methods as well, again check aspects. This could include Traditional Chinese Medicine (acupuncture, medicinal herbs) or reiki and meditation in order to benefit your health. Relationships with peers/coworkers will be in focus as well, whether positively or negatively is up to the whole chart itself. Your energy levels can also be affected by the Sun and its' aspects.

Advice: Don't gossip in the workplace, adopt a pet, focus on how to spend your time more efficiently, start implementing positive habits in your daily routines.

7h: Sun in the 7th house in the Solar Return Chart can indicate focusing on love relationships, one on one friendships, and open enemies. You will want to get along with people in your life, you'll strive to have harmony and balance in these relationships. If you don't have a romantic partner, this might be the year that you meet someone special. Write down what qualities you want in a partner and see how they correspond with your natal 7th house. Manifesting and actively seeking a partner could help but it might just happen without your intention! If you have a romantic partner already, the Sun here makes you buckle down and really work on making the relationship flourish, or even taking it to the next level. This could be as big as getting engaged or married, or it could mean moving in together. It could be as little as meeting their parents or having them meet yours. All of this depends on the rest of the chart and if you look at house placements and aspects you can get a better sense of how you'll grow closer. The same goes for one on one connections in terms of friendships. You might grow closer to a friend or friends over the year. The 7th house also rules open enemies. Depending on aspects of the Sun this can be more or less prominent. Sun square Mars, for example, may mean that men with Aries or Scorpio-like qualities (doesn't have to be their Sun sign but can be) can brush you the wrong way or these people could even start arguments with you.

Advice: Focus on the positives and express to your lover or friend what you appreciate about them. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Stick up for yourself in a way that creates peace or better yet, kill the haters with kindness. Ask yourself why certain traits and aspects of other people bother you.

8h: Sun in the 8th house puts focus on personal and financial transformations, self discovery, intimacy, and shared resources. I won't lie, the 8th house can be a tough bid. All houses have their good and bad qualities but the 8th house is all about change which is uncomfortable for most. The good part about 8th house Sun is when you look back on your Solar Return a year from now, you'll be changed in a significant way. It can be hard but it will make you stronger, wiser, and more aligned with your higher self. You will face obstacles this year that will take you out of your comfort zone whether that's intentional or not. You may move out of your parents house and live across the country. You might go to therapy and realize why you act the way you do. You might be moving into your dorm in college this year. Think radical change. You might break up with your partner, move out, quit your job and move back home. It's hard to say exactly what will happen without seeing the rest of the chart because the 8th house rules "Deep personal transformation - " and that's it. Say your 8th house lord is in the 10th house, you'll experience a transformation related to your reputation or career, you may get fired or promoted in a significant way. Your reputation could take a blow or you could become famous. It's hard to tell, again, without looking at the whole chart.

Advice: Take things in stride, try to be your best self, trust yourself and the universe. Be careful with financial matters and contracts. Dive into taboos.

9h: Sun in the 9th house puts learning, long distance travel, and higher education into focus. You will want to expand your horizons in some way whether that be going to college, traveling and learning about different cultures, exploring spiritual practices, or seeking out profound experiences that lead to personal growth. Your year might consist of traveling abroad somewhere and learning about the place's culture. You could appreciate this culture and their values and implement it into your own life. You might go to college or take a course online that interests you in a way that others courses didn't. This course might alter your personality in some way. Say the course is about world religion, after learning about it you might explore it on your own time, for example; Buddhism (technically a philosophy but I digress...), you might take interest in their practice of meditation. You start meditating and it completely changes the way you view life, this could lead to a whole new belief system. You might take up a yoga class and after a couple months you might join your yoga class on a retreat somewhere; this could impact you tremendously and might change your course of life. After the retreat, you might become a yogi or start practicing something intense like Kundalini yoga. The possibilities with this house are endless, but they all start with being curious and wanting to learn something new. Take the first step by exploring other interests, you never know how they will affect your life!

Advice: Try something new this year, be open to new opportunities, quiet your inner critic and be spontaneous, don't let anxiety and insecurity get in your way.

10h: Sun in the 10th house of your Solar Return Chart could bring your career, reputation, and father (or dominant parent) into focus. This could indicate a need to be promoted or recognized by authority in terms of your career. You could get a raise or "climb the corporate ladder", you could find your true passion and open up a business. You might find that your relationship with your father or father figure impacts your personality in some way. You might grow closer or grow farther apart, you might recognize how the relationship affects you in your daily life. Sun in this house brings confidence into the workplace and depending on the aspects, coworkers could be jealous or threatened by that or you might get along well with them and gain popularity. Your reputation could be affected this year either negatively or positively; the Sun here on its own indicates that it will be affected positively but if squares or oppositions are present, it could go the other way. For instance, if Uranus squares your 10th house (aka MC/Midheaven), you might gain a reputation for being irresponsible or unreliable. If you have Venus sextile your MC, you may gain a reputation of being lovable and sociable and your relationship with your boss will be positive.

Advice: Be confident in the workplace and share your ideas. Don't be afraid to stand out. Try your best to create harmonious relationships with coworkers and if you're being treated poorly, stand up for yourself in a mature way. Ask for that promotion or raise.

11h: Sun in the 11th house of the Solar Return Chart puts friendships, community, and social media into your focus for the year. You will have the desire to expand your social circle or it can happen on it's own! You will want to be surrounded by like minded people that share your interests and ideas. The sign that occupies this house in your SR and Natal Chart can give you greater insight. If you have Scorpio in the 11th house of your Natal Chart, the friends you gain might hold some sort of power, they might transform you in some way (and this is true throughout your whole life). The ruler of the 11th house in your Solar Return Chart, say for example; Taurus, would fall into your Natal 5th house. Meaning the friends you make could have Scorpio/Taurus/Leo and even Aquarius placements (fixed signs). You could meet them through your children (the parents of your child's friend or you could connect with someone at a daycare while picking up your kids). You could meet these friends at a Paint n' Sip. You could meet a friend while going on a double date (think 5th house themes). Either way, they'll most likely have fixed sign energy and have planets falling in your natal 2nd, 5th, and 8th, and 11th house. Other than that, you may focus on getting more involved in your community; this could be volunteering or donating clothes to your local goodwill. You could become famous on social media! Or you could gain followers and attract more likes and comments on your posts.

Advice: Put yourself out there and join groups that spike your interest in order to connect with like-minded people. Get involved in your community or donate to a cause that you believe in. Raise money for the less fortunate or buy a meal for the homeless, you could start a chain reaction.

12h: Sun in the 12th house of your Solar Return Chart puts solitude, reflection, hidden enemies, and endings into focus for the year. This indicates that you'll be more introverted than ever, even if your Sun sign is the most extroverted of all the zodiac signs. You'll prefer to be alone which could sometimes lead to a feeling of loneliness. Sun in the 12th house could mean that you're your own worst enemy. Let go of limiting beliefs or insecurities; it's a good time to release problems relating to your ego since the 12th house also rules endings. The Sun shines a bright light on the house of the unknown, this could lead to finding out secrets or uncovering truths that could hurt your self esteem. If you're spiritual, you could connect more to your beliefs in some way (starting to pray more, going to church on Sundays, or reading books on Chakras and Crystal Healing, for example). If badly aspected, you could be hospitalized or in need of rehabilitation of some sort. Don't use drugs, don't gamble, don't take unnecessary risks. Focus on your mental health and reflect on who you are and what you'd like to change. The Sun in the 12th house could also signify an "ego death" which could put you through something significant that could change every aspect of who you are, since the Sun is the self. This could be as serious as a near fatal car accident or a near death experience of some sort (especially if Pluto/Mars are prominent). It could be as simple as helping others out and realizing that the collective is more important than the self and ego. Be patient with yourself this year and trust your intuition. Please, trust your intuition.

Advice: Don't take unnecessary risks, trust your gut, develop your psychic powers, start a dream journal, see a therapist. Ask for help when you need help, help someone in need, put yourself in other peoples' shoes. Go on a retreat and work on your relationship with yourself.

#astrology #astro observations #astrology community #astro #astro community #rising signs #leo #sagittarius #scorpio #cancer #solar return #solar return chart #sun in houses #sun in sr chart #solar return sun #astrology houses

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winterr77 · 7 months

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ੈ✩ Habits for your academic life

Below are some habits and rules to keep in mind throughout your studies and some tips that will elevate your learning experiences.

☆ Setting boundaries and learning to say no

It is always easy to say yes and join every social event that one is invited to, however its crucial to consider your own personal life and the consequences of your decisions. Hanging out with friends is a needed event as a social creature, however it's better to exercise caution and know when to say "no" to focus on your own goals and dreams. Don't get pulled into the pace of others and focus on finding a routine and schedule that works for your own benefit.

☆ Being comfortable with your own company

You will find in uni that there are lots of times that you will spend alone, and maybe feel a little anxious that you're the only person who isn't constantly in the company of someone everyday like you maybe were in high school. However, realise that even the time to yourself is a time of value, and treasure those moments to focus and work on your own goals. It is easier to get lost and lose sight of your ambitions when with others who don't have the same aspirations as yourself. Use your own time to sit down and work out what you want to achieve and quietly put in the effort to win.

☆ Never being scared to ask questions

It can be quite daunting to ask questions in lectures, so I prefer to ask my questions during times that aren't forced into a short time interval, such as tutorials, office hours, and other forms of learning support that your university/college provides. This way there is no rush to answer my questions and take my time in working through concepts and ideas. Ask questions based on your own conclusions, questions that challenge current rules and perspectives. Think deeper into your lessons and seek to make use of every bit of information.

☆ Being curious

This is very much related to the point above, that being that personal interest really aids with the brains memory retention. The more things you approach with an enthusiastic attitude, the easier it is for your brain to remember and categorise. Having curiosity, even if it is forced, gives a great advantage where you seek to interconnect the information you learn with other data, and grow more networks of neurons that allows your brain to stay healthy and active.

☆ Initiating contact

Struggling with a theory or assignment? Great, it shows that you are actively trying to understand a concept and working your brain muscles. Now the best way to comprehend or complete what you are struggling with is to access support materials. Still difficult? Reach out. Your teachers, professors, tutors are all there for your benefit. Use them intelligently and squeeze every drop of assistance and support from them while they are still available to you.

☆Watching educational content to aid your studies

You can never lose from learning a bit more every day. However make sure to fact check and find your information from trusted and quality sources. In general, it's always a win to be educated in various topics from health, sciences, arts, humanities and more to gain a better understanding of ourselves, our world, and humanity.

For example, I watched a ted talk today, and here is my conclusions from my notes:

ੈ✩TedX: Why Reading Matters by Rita Carter

Summary:

☆Your brain needs a workout as much as your body. And reading fiction seems to be one of the best workouts you can get. (I recommend quality fiction, with that being classic literature because it genuinely exercises your mind with its intricate language techniques and diverse vocabulary)

☆Not only is it good for you, but it's also good for society as a whole because the brain is like a muscle: the more you force yourself through books to take other people's perspectives, to sympathise, to empathise with other people, the more empathetic a society we will have.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

good luck lovelies

~winter

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

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prettyrealm · 10 months

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what do people like most about you?

pick a card #1: what most people in your life - friends, family, coworkers, etc. - like about you ♡

how to participate:

♡ think to yourself “what do people like about me?”

♡ pick the my melody plush that you feel most drawn to.

clear your mind & take as long as you need to choose. keep in mind that you may feel drawn to & choose more than one. you also may not feel drawn to any of them, so don’t force it! these readings will be honest. the piles are in order from left to right.

pile 1 ♡

they like that you’re strong and know how to handle things on your own. they like that you’re courageous, confident & don’t let people walk all over you. they like that you’re protective of yourself and the ones you care about. they like that you’re able to compromise & get along with or work with people you don’t like. they like that you don’t let circumstances get in the way of your end goal (like you may have had a harsh upbringing or even may be going through a rough patch right now, but you don’t use that as an excuse and you handle business regardless), they like that you’re a loyal friend or just a good ally to have in general. they like your ideas and the different view points that you bring to the table. they like that you’re generous and unselfish when it comes to knowledge, but also material objects.

pile 2 ♡

people like that when they’re around you, you feel like a bestfriend (you might be the type or person people want to hang out with all the time), they like that you seem to be the ride or die type that you’re flexible enough that you’re someone they can get crazy with, but also have a lazy day and just relax with. they like that you’re a comforting presence to be around and a good source of emotional support (you’re probably good at distracting people from their problems), they like you work on yourself a lot and put in the effort to be your best, they like that you’re fair and have good judgement, they like that you’re willing to sacrifice for others or will take the short end of the stick to make everyone else happy. they also may like that you aren’t hard to look at (attractive)

pile 3 ♡

they like that you’re loving (you may have a mom vibe or just make people feel like family), they love your kindness and your love for your loved ones in general - it’s clear that you value family a lot, they like your happy and carefree demeanor, they like that you plan things well and have good timing, they like that you cherish good times and creating good memories, they like that you seem to remember things well (this could be good memory in general, but i see this as you remembering small facts about people and impressing/shocking them when you casually bring it up later), they like that you genuinely care about societal issues and aren’t afraid to speak up about it, they like your creativity & that you’re good at saving/making money.

pile 4 ♡

they like that you’re always on the go and ready for an adventure, they like that you like to indulge in life (maybe you’re a foodie or you like to go out a lot, i see vacations, bars & good food), they like that you like to share & you’re unselfish when it comes to sharing your lifestyle with others (you could be the type to take people out to eat a lot or show them about a cool place they didn’t know about), they like that you don’t let things or people disrupt your plans, they like that you’re a good gift giver, they like that you’re responsible enough in a sense that you don’t play victim and take accountability for your actions, they like that you can take care of yourself & they like that you’re romantic and value that sort of connection.

pile 5 ♡

people like that you seem to have a lot of pride & self respect, they like that you’re discerning with a strong moral code, they like that you’re confident, they like that you have a sharp tongue and come up with slick remarks or are good at throwing shade, they may find you funny and think you tell good jokes or you’re good at making fun of people in a playful way, they like that you don’t let setbacks hinder you (even if you’re upset, you power through it), they like that you care about women (or maybe women just feel comfortable around you in general), they like that you’re romantic, they like that you’re unpredictable and do what you want/follow your heart.

pile 6 ♡

they like that you’re good hearted and laugh a lot, they like they you’re smart and good at working out details/solving problems, they think that you give good advice (people may want you to steer them in the right direction or give them instruction on how to do things), they like that you can be a source of hope and confidence, they like that you’re able to stay optimistic and that you’ve succeeded in overcoming something very bad (congratulations!), they like that you think differently than others and may see you as innovative, they like your connection with animals and love for nature or care for the environment, they like that you refuse to sacrifice your integrity & they like that you have a variety of different interests.

pile 7 ♡

people like that you’re smart & intuitive (it’s like you just seem to “know” things), they like that you aren’t afraid to be yourself and walk your own path, the people around you might think that you’re in a transitional phase right now, and they like that you’ve learned a lot about life (it’s as if you’ve become more wise and have learned to give up things that don’t matter to focus on what’s really important), they like that you don’t care about what other people think and are willing to take one for the team or get treated like a black sheep/out cast in favor of what you believe in, they like that you’re curious and do your research & they like how spiritual you are.

pile 8 ♡

people like that you can be a bit ruthless and controversial (maybe you cuss a lot) they see this as real and uncensored (like what you see is what you get), they like how much you care about connection and having a partner to build a future with (they probably see you as loyal and devoted in this sense, and not afraid to go after a lover), they like that you’re patient and know how to think before you act (you aren’t impulsive), they like that you’re a hard worker and are good at what you do (well versed in your craft whatever that may be), they like that you’re humble and genuinely care about others well being & that you can think outside of yourself.

pile 9 ♡

people like that you can be a source of motivation, they like that you’re self-made and may even see you as a good rolemodel! people find you charismatic (and maybe even a bit dreamy), people like that you care for others a lot and admire that you will always share the things you’ve earned with others (they feel as if you really give and love unconditionally), they like that you always have good news or some type of gift you’ve earned as a result of your hard work (whether it be a raise or you some how coming across money/success/greater opportunities), they like that you seem trusting and aren’t too skeptical of others (you let people in easily) and that you’re very forgiving, they like that you’ve completely devoted yourself to something, they like that you’re easy to get in contact with and are always ready to help & they like that you’re nurturing.

#tarot #tarotblr #pick a card #pac #celebrity tarot reading #kpop tarot #personal tarot reading #my melody #sanrio #free tarot readings #piano tarot

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goddessxeffect · 10 months

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« INTRO: AWAKEN TO (YOUR)SELF »

A BEGINNERS GUIDE TO ALL THINGS CONSCIOUSNESS

This blog used to be a journal in the process of self realization of it's creator but has yet turned out to be a collection of sources and information guiding you too on your way back to your true Being. It all started with the question: “Who are you really?” and the realization that reality is not what it seems. I'm at a point now where I do not follow any teachings or concepts anymore nor did I consent in strictly deviding law of assumption from non dualism in the past. Nowadays, I see myself as an advocate for Self-realization. That being said, I really want to distance myself from any "new age manifestation/law of assumption" (do this to get xyz) teachings practised on youtube or tiktok.

I did create my own content in the past but stopped because there is nothing new to say and my understanding has deepened. Posts and annotations written by me are easily recognisable by my typical colour code, which is obviously displayed here. I only answer questions for understanding or clarification, guidelines here.

HOW TO START

Advaita Vendata (Non Dualism): an Introduction

Core of non dual understanding

youtube

If everything is consciousness, I am everything and everything is me? I still feel like "me", I don't feel like god of my reality How to become aware(ness) How to control the thoughts How to be free from emotions and thoughts Stop concerning yourself with the wants and needs of Ego How to loose attachment to Ego What you really are How to be Consciousness/ Awareness

In the end, the only question remaining should be who you are without all the labels attached to "I am". You will come to discover you do not want freedom from this shape alone, but from all shapes. Be aware of your past being over. "External world shows otherwise? Just be like "for how long do you think it can keep this up when you have nothing to do with it?" @Ada

youtube

MY CONTENT/ EPIPHANIES

You can experience pain in your life but you don’t have to ‘suffer’ the pain.” - Anon I mus

#masterpost, #goddessawakening

» Mosaic » Be yourself first »"Manifesting" » Freedom » Being » Why everbody misinterprets Self concept » Is there a real difference? »Misidentification » Consciousness & Limitation » No others » Question Reality » Missing » Ego & Time

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

... what to find on my blog through the tags

Advise/FAQs: Koda, Nova, iam-you, Cassie, Bry, Jag, Vesora, Lain, more What is Ego? How it feels to be Self / Awareness All on Self Realization and Detachment All on LOA trough a non dualistic view Books

If you still want to focus on "getting your desires" after been through all the info, search Neville Goddard (all his books and lectures). If you have a hard time understanding Neville, I advise some people who break down his teachings in a short and modern way of speaking: Edward Art (Reddit(Series), Audio), embodythestate, niclasupgradetolife, Josiah Brandt on YouTube

#this is a sideblog #consciousness #law of consciousness #non dualism #non-dualism #non duality #non-duality #awareness #neville goddard #edward art #law of assumption #loass #goddessawakening #Youtube

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antimony-medusa · 10 months

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I just have vauge thoughts about Fandom, and Creator Notices, and Boundaries, and I'm just gonna ramble for a second here.

Okay, so you end up really liking a show or event to the point that you want to make something for it, generally you want to show it off. You want to share it with other people who like the show or event, and have them go !!!!!!!. That's fun, that's normal. We all want to be enthusiastic about [show/event] together. That's our starting point.

Enter social media and official actor/streamer/writer accounts.

Now fan artists, a good portion of the time, can make their art and then thanks to the wonders of social media, they can go straight up to the actual people who made the show and show their art, and have them go !!!!, and get the actual creators to like it. Maybe not if they're drawing hard gore or NSFW, but if you're drawing a soft canon family moment, or a cyberpunk au, or behind the scenes look illuminated, or kick-ass character design, you can get a creator notice.

Fan writers, by and large, do not get creator notices. This is because looking at art takes two seconds, and reading a fic takes between ten minutes to ten hours. Creators can be out there scrolling art in a way that most of them, frankly, do not have the time to devote to Ao3 searches sorted by kudos. And I think among writers there's a little bit of a sense that that's unfair, and writing is just as much as art as visual art is, so we should be getting creator notices, and we should all act as though we might get a creator notice at any time. On all platforms. Cause what we're doing is real art, right? And we all saw the art get retweeted?

And this sense that creator notices— cause we've all seen them happen with art— spreads until we all think that they could happen at any time. Thanks to the wonders of social media. And very rapidly, the "you can get a creator notice" turns into "the highest honour is a creator notice", and we're all gunning for that, and you SHOULD be gunning for that. You should be looking for the creator to weigh in on your art. You should make sure that there's nothing in your work that the creator doesn't like. If you're an artist, you shouldn't be playing with gender in your art, or draw them being tortured, or anythign NSFW, and if you're a writer, you need to make sure that you don't have anything "weird" in your writing. In practice, let's be honest, this just turns into demonizing NSFW work and saying that anything we don't like is NSFW. Looking at you the "you can't draw the streamers with boobs" discourse.

Anyways, I think going after creator notices is a bad idea for many reasons— a, let them rest, b, bad atmosphere for the fandom, c, let's be honest, an awful lot of fandom stuff is weird from the outside. Let it stay in the fandom.

First thing is like, there are only so many hours in a day. Fan artists can tag their people but it's SO much of a huge and rude demand on someone's time to ask them to read your fic and tell you if it's good. That's the request you make cautiously to your beta reader, and then everybody else on this planet earth gets to opt in to your work. Do not TTS stories to people, do not hand them copies at cons, like— if they want to find it they can find it.

Second thing, creator notices hovering over the fandom like a sword is not a good attitude for creativity. Fan work is supposed to be transformative, it's about taking the original work and going "oh but what if they didn't die" and "what if they lived in space" and "what if they were a family" and "what if they kissed". Gunning towards a creator notice at all times takes you from an independent person following your creativity to a contractor working under someone else's vision. All the time.

Trying to adhere to the source material isn't bad in essence, there's a spectrum of "how do you feel about canon" in fan work that ranges from "trying to hit all the same beats just with a twist" to straight up adversarial attacks, and all of that is fine and part of what fan works are. But if the only stuff that gets written is the stuff that we think the creator would approve of, a) that's stifling to both creativity and people who have an adversarial relationship with canon, you shouldn't start to be branded as "weird within the fandom" cause you're mad at a plot arc b) you very rapidly run into the issue where you're adhering to someone else's morals, and sometimes you don't agree with random person's morals. Anne McCaffrey famously said that fan works were okay as long as you didn't make any of the dragon riders gay. I guesture at you about that. Sometimes a creator is way more comfortable with NSFW stuff than you are, that doesn't mean you should feel forced to make NSFW stuff for their approval! You shouldn't have to 100% agree with someone's vision for an art piece to be able to roll up and go "yes but I think there should be like 50% more evicerations in here" and acting like the creators are the ultimate authority in fan spaces is a bad atmosphere for making fan works.

Sure, absolutely, showrunners get to decide canon. But the whole point of fandom is that sometimes I have a better vision for my story, and maybe I don't want to think about what the creator says at all. If I'm not gunning for the creator's approval, let me stay in my little circle with the creator blocked and adding more pregnancy to the QSMP, or whatever. Follow your bliss.

Third thing, like, okay. There has been a move in fan circles, and especially in mcyt circles, to say that if we just cut the NSFW stuff out, everything we're doing isn't weird, and the creators can look at it. I honestly think this is a failure of both imagination and perspective.

If you have written someone being vivisected, it's gonna be a trifle weird for the actor of that someone to come into contact with that. It is doubly weird if you're depicting a character who shares the same name as the actor. Is it bad to write the vivisection? No, this is fandom, we get to do terrible things to characters here, and that's not for the actors, that's for the audience of two hundred people who saw the words "Schlackity vivisection cannibalism necromancy" and said "clear my schedule, I know what I'm doing tonight". Awesome, continue with the gore.

And like, again, this isn't just NSFW. You can have something that is the fluffiest most platonic story in the world, and I'm saying look at me, look at me honestly, consider this; isn't it going to be just a little bit weird for a grown-ass man to open up a story where they've been aged down to four years old and they're lost and sad and their friends are their family and rescue them and there's cuddling and petting and snackies and pet names and they get their blanket and suck their thumb and take a nap. Look me in the eye and tell me that's not gonna be weird for an adult to read that about their character who shares their name. Okay? We're all on the same page here? Awesome. Is it bad to write kidfic? No. Kidfic rocks. I am your target audience, I am clicking through. I am leaving a keysmash comment. It is also, like, look at me here, focus— it's weird if you're outside the fandom. Platonic? Yes. for the actors/streamers? No. And that's because it's not FOR outsiders to the fandom, it's for the fandom. It's for people who rotate the characters so much that they go 'wouldn't it be sooooo cute if they were babies wouldn't it be adorable', it's not for the actual guys who had a meeting with an accountant today.

MCYT in particular has a horrible practice of saying that because everything has to be for the streamers, nothing can be NSFW unless they've approved it specifically, but somehow everything else is cool? I cannot express to you how much stuff I've read and enjoyed that even the smallest amount of thinking about should let you know that we keep that stuff away from the guys driving the block men around. Fine to write it, I say again, go for it. Please completely divorce yourself of the idea of a creator notice for it at the same time.

Should we show the streamers porn? No. We also should not show the streamers the thing where they're physically abusive parents of their friends. We should not show them the stuff where they're babies. We should not show them things where they're bigots. We should not show them things where they have hybrid instincts that tell them to kidnap someone. Really not sure about showing them a story where they're a cop who takes bribes. Like come on now. Really, as soon as you diverge from canon you're getting into stuff that's probably going to be weird for the crdeators. And that's why again, we don't show it to them, because it shouldn't be for them, it should be for the other people who are like "oh you're doing something fun with the character there, awesome" and click through. Weird for the creators, because it's for us.

Fandom should not be for for the creators. We can make stuff for the creators ocassionally, but I really think it's healthier for the fandom, and probably a lot less weird for the actors/streamers/writers, if we stop acting like what we make is all for them and should be shown to them. Some of it is just for us! That's fine! Make it for the people who have an rss feed for "autistic technoblade" on Ao3! Make it for the people who show up in your inbox asking about your "Philza gets arranged married to a different QSMP guy every week" au! ! Make it for the people who have three spellings of "charlie slimecicle" followed on Tumblr! Make it for the people making helsmit fancams! Make it for the fifteen people who suscribed to you after you posted that fic about the various wilbur bursonas kissing each other! Make it for the people who have Puffychu art saved to their phones! Make it for the fandom!

Leave the creators alone, make the fandom for the fans.

#discourse #dsmp #qsmp #fandom meta

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bucketofminnow · 7 months

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Minecraft's 15th Anniversary Update — "Combat Adventures & Tinkering"

First off, Armadillo won the mob vote. Penguin came in with the least amount of votes, but we're told "not to feel too bad for the penguin. Remember, our little frog friends didn't win the vote either, but they still managed to hop their way into the game." Maybe there's hope yet?

Last year, the Minecraft team only showed part of the Tales and Trails update at Minecraft Live, and then continued to announce new features throughout the development process. They'll be doing the same thing with this next update, as last time they "collaborated with the community, and saw a lot of excitement in the community throughout the development process". The features shown today will be released in snapshots soon.

There's the new "crafter", which functions like a crafting table, except that you can automate crafting with it via redstone. With toggleable slots so that a hopper can feed it materials in the right order, you can make automatic crafting systems.

"After 15 years of Minecraft, it's time to test your skills in some new trials." They're adding a new, multi-room structure called Trial Chambers, which comes with new blocks, a new mob, and a new style of combat. This structure is procedurally generated, and every iteration of it should be unique and feel like you're really "finding a new chamber".

The Trial Chambers will come with a variety of new blocks. Mostly copper, but also stone(?) blocks with "geometric designs". I saw copper doors and trapdoors in the livestream, and new carved/patterned blocks, grates, and a "copper bulb"—a light source block that emits less light the more oxidized it is.

Trial Chambers will have Trial Spawners, a new variant of spawner that adapts based on the amount of players that join the fight. You can tell what mobs it will spawn based on what blocks are around it; i.e ice = strays. It spawns an unlimited amount of mobs compared to a regular spawner, and gives loot such as emeralds and diamonds when all mobs are defeated. Smoke will come out of the top of the spawner indicating that it's on a cooldown, so you can come back later and do it all over again.

The Trial Chambers' new mob is The Breeze, a "playful hostile mob that jumps around and uses wind to provide a combat encounter unlike any other in Minecraft". Its attack, Wind Charge, "doesn't deal any damage when it bursts and blows things away, but it does deal damage if it collides directly with something"—so it works similarly to the Shulker's attack. Wind Charge also interacts with certain blocks such as trapdoors and levers, allowing it to trigger contraptions around the room to make combat more interesting and difficult.

#minecraft #minecraft live #mineblr #mc #minnow.txt

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theoutcastrogue · 20 days

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[From a 2014 article by John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats. He's talking about how a random spam email ended up inspiring a part of his book Wolf in White Van. Later, in 2020, the album Getting Into Knives came out, and I think it inspired its artwork too.]

"It took years for me to be able to just reflexively delete spam, or filter it so that I never see it at all. I blame the spammers for this; the quality of their work took a sharp nosedive at some point. But during whatever period of the internet’s growth you’d call the early 2000s, it seemed like you’d still get some winners: things that had been typed up by a person, sent out to a bunch of email addresses they’d bought or rented for 5 or 10 bucks from the only guy who was ever going to make any money in this particular exchange. Most of them went directly, if manually, into the trash; but once in a while, there’d be one that seemed to earn, at the very least, the minute it’d take me to read it.

The one I’m remembering here was subject-lined SUPPLY OF KNIVES. [...] The subject line opened on an all-caps email that boasted, in ornate, antiquated English appealing to the reader’s more refined sensibilities, about the high quality of the knives on offer at an external website. You shouldn’t click on links in spam email. I live my life on the razor’s edge! I clicked the link.

I want to tell you about these knives: They were beautiful. They were weird. They had elaborate designs in the handles, moons or stars of wolf heads, and special grips, and a variety of points. They were made from metals whose pedigrees were described lovingly, and had been struck — smithed? wrought? — via processes I knew absolutely nothing about, but that sounded fantastic, difficult, arcane. It’s the joy of specialized language: When you’re an outsider to it, it can’t help but sound cool.

Of course this is the whole idea of any operation like this. SUPPLY OF KNIVES could well have been, and probably was, a company in Ohio who’d stumbled across an old warehouse full of knives, and knew enough about sales to describe these things in the most exotic terms they could find. I’m pretty immune to pitches: Who likes to feel like he’s being pitched? But somebody involved with SUPPLY OF KNIVES had had just enough authorial flair — that, or true faith — to caption each knife’s mysterious, blurry accompanying JPEG with a description whose constant recourse to specialized vocabularies seemed to say, “You’re not even reading this unless you already know about this sort of thing. Let us therefore speak like the fellow travelers we are.”

It was like a trade catalog for roadside bandits in need of knives.

I can’t speak for everybody, but I know that when I was a child the life of the roadside bandit seemed like a pretty romantic way to go. I looked at all these knives and read the descriptions and was just generally delighted about the whole thing, so I saved the email in a “memorable spam” folder I used to keep that had maybe two other emails in it. A few years later, Apple came out with this robotic-arm-screen iMac you never see any more, and we were long overdue for a new computer so we got that; and then, after a while, I got myself a laptop, because I was traveling all the time, and eventually both the old iMacs ended up in the basement, and they were both asleep but alive until fairly recently, as far as I knew.

But when I went to check for the email, it was gone. The old blue iMac is dead, bricked, lifeless. Searches on the term “supply of knives” on this laptop and on good old robot-arm-screen find nothing. The backup CD for the blue iMac drive is probably in a drawer around here somewhere, but that’s like saying, “The coin I had in my swim trunks’ pocket is probably somewhere in the ocean.” There is no SUPPLY OF KNIVES. There’s only the memory."

[source]

And this is the wonderful cover art of Getting Into Knives. Back cover and promo material below. Note that "Knives International" and "Knives Wordwide" are not real companies, they appear to be a callback to that elusive spam email.

#not that I'm particularly into TMG #but it's interesting #trs #The Mountain Goats #John Darnielle #Getting Into Knives #Wolf in White Van #only knives left #tools of the trade #bandit #prison ballads #tangentially

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 months

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The (open) web is good, actually

I'll be at the Studio City branch of the LA Public Library tonight (Monday, November 13) at 1830hPT to launch my new novel, The Lost Cause. There'll be a reading, a talk, a surprise guest (!!) and a signing, with books on sale. Tell your friends! Come on down!

The great irony of the platformization of the internet is that platforms are intermediaries, and the original promise of the internet that got so many of us excited about it was disintermediation – getting rid of the middlemen that act as gatekeepers between community members, creators and audiences, buyers and sellers, etc.

The platformized internet is ripe for rent seeking: where the platform captures an ever-larger share of the value generated by its users, making the service worst for both, while lock-in stops people from looking elsewhere. Every sector of the modern economy is less competitive, thanks to monopolistic tactics like mergers and acquisitions and predatory pricing. But with tech, the options for making things worse are infinitely divisible, thanks to the flexibility of digital systems, which means that product managers can keep subdividing the Jenga blocks they pulling out of the services we rely on. Combine platforms with monopolies with digital flexibility and you get enshittification:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

An enshittified, platformized internet is bad for lots of reasons – it concentrates decisions about who may speak and what may be said into just a few hands; it creates a rich-get-richer dynamic that creates a new oligarchy, with all the corruption and instability that comes with elite capture; it makes life materially worse for workers, users, and communities.

But there are many other ways in which the enshitternet is worse than the old good internet. Today, I want to talk about how the enshitternet affects openness and all that entails. An open internet is one whose workings are transparent (think of "open source"), but it's also an internet founded on access – the ability to know what has gone before, to recall what has been said, and to revisit the context in which it was said.

At last week's Museum Computer Network conference, Aaron Straup Cope gave a talk on museums and technology called "Wishful Thinking – A critical discussion of 'extended reality' technologies in the cultural heritage sector" that beautifully addressed these questions of recall and revisiting:

https://www.aaronland.info/weblog/2023/11/11/therapy/#wishful

Cope is a museums technologist who's worked on lots of critical digital projects over the years, and in this talk, he addresses himself to the difference between the excitement of the galleries, libraries, archives and museums (GLAM) sector over the possibilities of the web, and why he doesn't feel the same excitement over the metaverse, and its various guises – XR, VR, MR and AR.

The biggest reason to be excited about the web was – and is – the openness of disintermediation. The internet was inspired by the end-to-end principle, the idea that the network's first duty was to transmit data from willing senders to willing receivers, as efficiently and reliably as possible. That principle made it possible for whole swathes of people to connect with one another. As Cope writes, openness "was not, and has never been, a guarantee of a receptive audience or even any audience at all." But because it was "easy and cheap enough to put something on the web," you could "leave it there long enough for others to find it."

That dynamic nurtured an environment where people could have "time to warm up to ideas." This is in sharp contrast to the social media world, where "[anything] not immediately successful or viral … was a waste of time and effort… not worth doing." The social media bias towards a river of content that can't be easily reversed is one in which the only ideas that get to spread are those the algorithm boosts.

This is an important way to understand the role of algorithms in the context of the spread of ideas – that without recall or revisiting, we just don't see stuff, including stuff that might challenge our thinking and change our minds. This is a much more materialistic and grounded way to talk about algorithms and ideas than the idea that Big Data and AI make algorithms so persuasive that they can control our minds:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

As bad as this is in the social media context, it's even worse in the context of apps, which can't be linked into, bookmarked, or archived. All of this made apps an ominous sign right from the beginning:

https://memex.craphound.com/2010/04/01/why-i-wont-buy-an-ipad-and-think-you-shouldnt-either/

Apps interact with law in precisely the way that web-pages don't. "An app is just a web-page wrapped in enough IP to make it a crime to defend yourself against corporate predation":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/27/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse/

Apps are "closed" in every sense. You can't see what's on an app without installing the app and "agreeing" to its terms of service. You can't reverse-engineer an app (to add a privacy blocker, or to change how it presents information) without risking criminal and civil liability. You can't bookmark anything the app won't let you bookmark, and you can't preserve anything the app won't let you preserve.

Despite being built on the same underlying open frameworks – HTTP, HTML, etc – as the web, apps have the opposite technological viewpoint to the web. Apps' technopolitics are at war with the web's technopolitics. The web is built around recall – the ability to see things, go back to things, save things. The web has the technopolitics of a museum:

https://www.aaronland.info/weblog/2014/09/11/brand/#dconstruct

By comparison, apps have the politics of a product, and most often, that product is a rent-seeking, lock-in-hunting product that wants to take you hostage by holding something you love hostage – your data, perhaps, or your friends:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

When Anil Dash described "The Web We Lost" in 2012, he was describing a web with the technopolitics of a museum:

where tagging was combined with permissive licenses to make it easy for people to find and reuse each others' stuff;

where it was easy to find out who linked to you in realtime even though most of us were posting to our own sites, which they controlled;

where a link from one site to another meant one person found another person's contribution worthy;

where privacy-invasive bids to capture the web were greeted with outright hostility;

where every service that helped you post things that mattered to you was expected to make it easy for you take that data back if you changed services;

where inlining or referencing material from someone else's site meant following a technical standard, not inking a business-development deal;

https://www.anildash.com/2012/12/13/the_web_we_lost/

Ten years later, Dash's "broken tech/content culture cycle" described the web we live on now:

https://www.anildash.com/2022/02/09/the-stupid-tech-content-culture-cycle/

found your platform by promising to facilitate your users' growth;

order your technologists and designers to prioritize growth above all other factors and fire anyone who doesn't deliver;

grow without regard to the norms of your platform's users;

plaster over the growth-driven influx of abusive and vile material by assigning it to your "most marginalized, least resourced team";

deliver a half-assed moderation scheme that drives good users off the service and leaves no one behind but griefers, edgelords and trolls;

steadfastly refuse to contemplate why the marginalized users who made your platform attractive before being chased away have all left;

flail about in a panic over illegal content, do deals with large media brands, seize control over your most popular users' output;

"surface great content" by algorithmically promoting things that look like whatever's successful, guaranteeing that nothing new will take hold;

overpay your top performers for exclusivity deals, utterly neglect any pipeline for nurturing new performers;

abuse your creators the same ways that big media companies have for decades, but insist that it's different because you're a tech company;

ignore workers who warn that your product is a danger to society, dismiss them as "millennials" (defined as "anyone born after 1970 or who has a student loan")

when your platform is (inevitably) implicated in a murder, have a "town hall" overseen by a crisis communications firm;

pay the creator who inspired the murder to go exclusive on your platform;

dismiss the murder and fascist rhetoric as "growing pains";

when truly ghastly stuff happens on your platform, give your Trust and Safety team a 5% budget increase;

chase growth based on "emotionally engaging content" without specifying whether the emotions should be positive;

respond to ex-employees' call-outs with transient feelings of guilt followed by dismissals of "cancel culture":

fund your platforms' most toxic users and call it "free speech";

whenever anyone disagrees with any of your decisions, dismiss them as being "anti-free speech";

start increasing how much your platform takes out of your creators' paychecks;

force out internal dissenters, dismiss external critics as being in conspiracy with your corporate rivals;

once regulation becomes inevitable, form a cartel with the other large firms in your sector and insist that the problem is a "bad algorithm";

"claim full victim status," and quit your job, complaining about the toll that running a big platform took on your mental wellbeing.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/18/broken-records/#dashes

The web wasn't inevitable – indeed, it was wildly improbable. Tim Berners Lee's decision to make a new platform that was patent-free, open and transparent was a complete opposite approach to the strategy of the media companies of the day. They were building walled gardens and silos – the dialup equivalent to apps – organized as "branded communities." The way I experienced it, the web succeeded because it was so antithetical to the dominant vision for the future of the internet that the big companies couldn't even be bothered to try to kill it until it was too late.

Companies have been trying to correct that mistake ever since. After three or four attempts to replace the web with various garbage systems all called "MSN," Microsoft moved on to trying to lock the internet inside a proprietary browser. Years later, Facebook had far more success in an attempt to kill HTML with React. And of course, apps have gobbled up so much of the old, good internet.

Which brings us to Cope's views on museums and the metaverse. There's nothing intrinsically proprietary about virtual worlds and all their permutations. VRML is a quarter of a century old – just five years younger than Snow Crash:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VRML

But the current enthusiasm for virtual worlds isn't merely a function of the interesting, cool and fun experiences you can have in them. Rather, it's a bid to kill off whatever is left of the old, good web and put everything inside a walled garden. Facebook's metaverse "is more of the same but with a technical footprint so expensive and so demanding that it all but ensures it will only be within the means of a very few companies to operate."

Facebook's VR headsets have forward-facing cameras, turning every users into a walking surveillance camera. Facebook put those cameras there for "pass through" – so they can paint the screens inside the headset with the scene around you – but "who here believes that Facebook doesn't have other motives for enabling an always-on camera capturing the world around you?"

Apple's VisionPro VR headset is "a near-perfect surveillance device," and "the only thing to save this device is the trust that Apple has marketed its brand on over the last few years." Cope notes that "a brand promise is about as fleeting a guarantee as you can get." I'll go further: Apple is already a surveillance company:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

The technopolitics of the metaverse are the opposite of the technopolitics of the museum – even moreso than apps. Museums that shift their scarce technology budgets to virtual worlds stand a good chance of making something no one wants to use, and that's the best case scenario. The worst case is that museums make a successful project inside a walled garden, one where recall is subject to corporate whim, and help lure their patrons away from the recall-friendly internet to the captured, intermediated metaverse.

It's true that the early web benefited from a lot of hype, just as the metaverse is enjoying today. But the similarity ends there: the metaverse is designed for enclosure, the web for openness. Recall is a historical force for "the right to assembly… access to basic literacy… a public library." The web was "an unexpected gift with the ability to change the order of things; a gift that merits being protected, preserved and promoted both internally and externally." Museums were right to jump on the web bandwagon, because of its technopolitics. The metaverse, with its very different technopolitics, is hostile to the very idea of museums.

In joining forces with metaverse companies, museums strike a Faustian bargain, "because we believe that these places are where our audiences have gone."

The GLAM sector is devoted to access, to recall, and to revisiting. Unlike the self-style free speech warriors whom Dash calls out for self-serving neglect of their communities, the GLAM sector is about preservation and access, the true heart of free expression. When a handful of giant companies organize all our discourse, the ability to be heard is contingent on pleasing the ever-shifting tastes of the algorithm. This is the problem with the idea that "freedom of speech isn't freedom of reach" – if a platform won't let people who want to hear from you see what you have to say, they are indeed compromising freedom of speech:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/10/e2e/#the-censors-pen

Likewise, "censorship" is not limited to "things that governments do." As Ada Palmer so wonderfully describes it in her brilliant "Why We Censor: from the Inquisition to the Internet" speech, censorship is like arsenic, with trace elements of it all around us:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMMJb3AxA0s

A community's decision to ban certain offensive conduct or words on pain of expulsion or sanction is censorship – but not to the same degree that, say, a government ban on expressing certain points of view is. However, there are many kinds of private censorship that rise to the same level as state censorship in their impact on public discourse (think of Moms For Liberty and their book-bannings).

It's not a coincidence that Palmer – a historian – would have views on censorship and free speech that intersect with Cope, a museum worker. One of the most brilliant moments in Palmer's speech is where she describes how censorship under the Inquistion was not state censorship – the Inquisition was a multinational, nongovernmental body that was often in conflict with state power.

Not all intermediaries are bad for speech or access. The "disintermediation" that excited early web boosters was about escaping from otherwise inescapable middlemen – the people who figured out how to control and charge for the things we did with one another.

When I was a kid, I loved the writing of Crad Kilodney, a short story writer who sold his own self-published books on Toronto street-corners while wearing a sign that said "VERY FAMOUS CANADIAN AUTHOR, BUY MY BOOKS" (he also had a sign that read, simply, "MARGARET ATWOOD"). Kilodney was a force of nature, who wrote, edited, typeset, printed, bound, and sold his own books:

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/books/article-late-street-poet-and-publishing-scourge-crad-kilodney-left-behind-a/

But there are plenty of writers out there that I want to hear from who lack the skill or the will to do all of that. Editors, publishers, distributors, booksellers – all the intermediaries who sit between a writer and their readers – are not bad. They're good, actually. The problem isn't intermediation – it's capture.

For generations, hucksters have conned would-be writers by telling them that publishing won't buy their books because "the gatekeepers" lack the discernment to publish "quality" work. Friends of mine in publishing laughed at the idea that they would deliberately sideline a book they could figure out how to sell – that's just not how it worked.

But today, monopolized film studios are literally annihilating beloved, high-priced, commercially viable works because they are worth slightly more as tax writeoffs than they are as movies:

https://deadline.com/2023/11/coyote-vs-acme-shelved-warner-bros-discovery-writeoff-david-zaslav-1235598676/

There's four giant studios and five giant publishers. Maybe "five" is the magic number and publishing isn't concentrated enough to drop whole novels down the memory hole for a tax deduction, but even so, publishing is trying like hell to shrink to four:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/07/random-penguins/#if-you-wanted-to-get-there-i-wouldnt-start-from-here

Even as the entertainment sector is working to both literally and figuratively destroy our libraries, the cultural heritage sector is grappling with preserving these libraries, with shrinking budgets and increased legal threats:

https://blog.archive.org/2023/03/25/the-fight-continues/

I keep meeting artists of all description who have been conditioned to be suspicious of anything with the word "open" in its name. One colleague has repeatedly told me that fighting for the "open internet" is a self-defeating rhetorical move that will scare off artists who hear "open" and think "Big Tech ripoff."

But "openness" is a necessary precondition for preservation and access, which are the necessary preconditions for recall and revisiting. Here on the last, melting fragment of the open internet, as tech- and entertainment-barons are seizing control over our attention and charging rent on our ability to talk and think together, openness is our best hope of a new, good internet. T

he cultural heritage sector wants to save our creative works. The entertainment and tech industry want to delete them and take a tax writeoff.

As a working artist, I know which side I'm on.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/13/this-is-for-everyone/#revisiting

Image: Diego Delso (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Museo_Mimara,_Zagreb,_Croacia,_2014-04-20,_DD_01.JPG

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

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queenvhagar · 10 days

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"Average Team Green fan is bastardphobic" "Team Green thinks irl bastards are worse than other people" "Team Green fans are bad people because they actually don't like bastards"

Not sure if y'all know this but... fiction is not real life, and recognizing or discussing the actual dynamics of a cruel and unjust fictional world as it is written by the author does not equal an endorsement, promotion, or adoption of those elements or beliefs as they exist in that fictional world or in real life.

In real life, I and likely most if not all Team Green supporters could care less about the institution of marriage as one of making legitimately born babies. Personally I don't care if your parents were married to each other. Many people don't get married and still have families together. Children are children, people are people. Luckily in the modern world, in many places, having children out of wedlock is not really even that much of a taboo anymore. People can do what they want as long as they're happy. If I get married and/or have kids ever, that's my own business. I have no specific duties expected of me by my family or the world and the messages coming from society that I as a woman need to be married and make babies before I get too old? I can just ignore that. Nothing happens if I do.

In the fictional world of ASOIAF though, this is very clearly and unequivocally not the case at all. Westeros is obsessed with blood and bloodlines. Blood brings power. Blood continues power. The blood and the name together bring power. Great houses intermarry to bring themselves more power and alliances, under the agreement that the next generation will share the blood of their parents and families and that blood will preserve their power and status as it has for generations. This is essential to feudalism and the way that power and inheritance works (in Westeros and in the real-life history upon which it was based).

This is why it's such a taboo to have or be a bastard in Westeros, and why it's illegal to try to place a bastard in the line of succession. Marriage alliances are built on the principle that the trueborn children made from those matches will come from those particular parents and pass down that particular family's blood. If someone without that blood tried to claim that name and power, people would view that as the family losing the power they've held for generations. They would see it as an injustice. Wars would be willing to be fought over it. It's an indisputable fact that in this world trying to place a bastard in the line of succession will lead to bloodshed. This is especially the case for the Iron Throne. If you don't agree, read the source material and rethink how this world views women, bastards, bloodlines, and the right to the throne.

I'm not sure when people started thinking that the discussion of in-universe conflicts and issues as they exist in fictional worlds actually reflects on an individual's real life personal values or feelings. People knowledgeable of the world of ASOIAF criticize the character of Rhaenyra for birthing three obvious bastards (while she is already on rocky political ground as the first woman named heir) and then attempting to unsuccessfully gaslight everyone into thinking they are legitimate heirs despite the opposite being so clearly true. This criticism stems from knowledge and awareness of the world, beliefs, and laws of Westeros (that Rhaenyra herself also knew but believed herself to be the exception to). Yet when people point out how dangerous or stupid it was of her character to do this, knowing everything that is known about the world of ASOIAF and this specific conflict, suddenly stans feel the need to defend the vision of her that exists in their heads (one incorrectly furthered by the show's adaptation of the character as a modern feminist girlboss who can do no wrong) and make up fake scenarios or claims about the world of ASOIAF or about the critics to support their incorrect takes.

Saying Team Green fans, those who are not a fan of Team Black, or those who criticize the show's adaptation are bastardphobic in real life is similar to those Team Black stans who claim that Aegon's actor is a morally corrupt rape apologist because he plays a character who got written to be a rapist (likely after he was cast, by the way) or people who say authors shouldn't write a scene about murder or murderers because it endorses or promotes such behavior. Y'all really out here rewriting the Hays Code and essentially campaigning for censorship of media because you can't distinguish between real life and fiction. It's crazy that media literacy is at such an appalling state, though unfortunately it's clear that certain forms of internet fandom have really exacerbated issues that have already existed. Now, any character can be shoehorned into specific categories or types or memes that fit their understanding of media and those who disagree or desire actual thought, complexity, and analysis to go into stories or characters apparently shouldn't have a voice or platform to express their point of view, or if they do, it means something about them as a real-life human beyond this person is interested in discussing the story.

I've previously expressed that despite the fact that I love this story as a truly a morally gray conflict with gray characters that tells a rich sociopolitical story of a family tearing itself apart for power, and despite the fact that there are no winners, heroes, or correct sides to this conflict, I would call myself a Team Green supporter. And largely this is due to the lack of media literacy and understanding of the source material that the writers and general audience (see: uncritical Team Black fans) seem to have and the absolutely insufferable ways that they seem to constantly want to demonstrate to everyone that actually they're right and correct in their surface-level takes.

#hotd critical #anti team black stans #team green #media literacy

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bengiyo · 6 months

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GMMTV 2024 Part 1 Stray Thoughts

I have finished viewing the trailers. I'm feeling relatively cool about most of it, and I had a strong negative reaction to the announcements about two adaptations.

Here is what intrigued me in order:

My Golden Blood - When Joss and Mond rose off the ground, I also ascended. Joss and Gawin wasn't on my radar as a potential option, but I am so here for it.

Wadee Gooday - I'm so here for the adult romance, and Thor is here. A boxer and a doctor have such fascinating potential.

The Trainee - OffGun workplace romance and Love Score is playing. We are so fucking back.

On Sale - TayNew in a ghost romcom? We are so fucking back.

Pluto - Film and Namtam and Namtam is lying? I am here for it.

Kidnap - Ohm is back in BL and they gave him a gun and a little brother who shares his name. This is probably gonna be a mess but it looks fun.

Only Boo - Not sure how I feel about an idol trainee show, but Louis is here.

We Are - Why are there four couples? Engineering? Hopefully, this is going to be like MSP, and let us put this behind us.

High School Frenemy - I will have to watch School 2013 before this airs because it looks like the original was well-received and this trailer just looks like boys fighting the whole time.

My Love Mix-Up - Fourth doesn't seem to do slapstick well in this trailer, and Gem doesn't look serious enough. New Hashimoto doesn't have that glint in her eye. New Aida looks solid. I'm skeptical. More thoughts below.

Ossan's Love - Literally why?

Summer Night - Phuwin and Dunk pratfall kiss bait into het nonsense with a BL side. No thanks.

My Precious the series - I feel like any hype I had for this has evaporated. I'm past it.

Ploy's Yearbook - Apparently step-siblings fall for each other in this? No thanks.

Enigma 2 - No idea what's going on but it has clear vibes.

Alright, I'm just gonna say it: The My Love Mix-Up trailer was not good. I love Fourth and Gemini a lot. I think Fourth is really talented, and I think he and Gemini make a good team. That being said, there is a reason KH continues to get content shared on this website, and right now I don't think Fourth and Gem showed the juice to match Michieda Shunsuke and Meguro Ren.

I don't think Fourth is going to generate meme material as Thai Aoki the way Michieda did if this trailer is indicative of where he's going. I don't think Gemini is hitting the seriousness of Ida well here at all. Ida is a demisexual icon and so important to the genre, and I just don't think Gemini has this in him right now.

For those wondering why I feel so strongly about this, I will remind you that Kieta Hatsukoi is free on Viki.

We are now seeing cross-cultural adaptations of BL work, and I think that it's incredibly important to view the source work before we get into big discussions about what each adaptation does well. I am so concerned about Kieta Hatsukoi being adapted because it's so distinctly Japanese in its stylings and the dramatic tension underpinning it. The Thai trailer feels lacking to me because the angst felt so ungrounded. Fourth can moon over Gemini just fine, but there's a specificity to the mooning that he just isn't hitting here.

I will be talking about My Love Mix-Up Thailand as an adaptation of Kieta Hatsukoi. I will not be entertaining debates or discussions about it as an independent work. The trailer has called directly to the Japanese origins and it will be judged as such. If you haven't or won't watch the original or read the source work, please don't tag me, because "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore."

#gmmtv 2024 #kieta hatsukoi #my love mix up #my golden blood #wadee gooday #the trainee the series #on sale the series #pluto the series #kidnap the series #only boo the series #we are the series #high school frenemy #ossan's love #Ben watches

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burntheedges · 4 months

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Maintenance Request: Chapter 2

Joel Miller x f!reader | new chapter every Friday 18+ (minors DNI) | ao3 | main post & chapter list chapter word count: 2.4k

fic summary: Hot Construction Guy is the bane of your existence - he seems to only pop up at the worst possible moment for you, every time you see him. There’s no way there could be something more there.

Right?

chapter tags/warnings: banter, my mediocre attempt at describing construction equipment (lol), mention of bra a/n: yes this is based on the time there was construction where I work and I, like reader, discovered what this thing was for the first time.

Chapter 2

Friday, September 6 Second week of the semester

Two days later, you’d almost forgotten the parking garage incident. (That was not remotely true — you’d complained about it and Hot Construction Guy so much that Beth had declared the topic officially banned. Until you saw him again and you had “new material”, anyway. Not likely, you’d scoffed.)

You’d restocked your office deodorant, stashed a few back-up t-shirts, and you were generally feeling more amiable towards the world as you sat down to catch up on some grading for your freshman seminar course after your office hours on Friday afternoon. You’d carefully arranged your coffee, laptop, and notepad on your desk, and were just about to open up the first student’s assignment when it started.

BAM

The loud sound reverberated so loudly through the halls of your building that you actually saw your cup of pens vibrate a few millimeters to the right on your desk.

BAM

You blinked. You swore you saw dust shiver up from the surface of your bookshelves and dance in the air with the force of the sound.

BAM

Your framed diploma rattled on the wall behind you and one of your plants vibrated threateningly towards the edge of the windowsill along the same wall. You caught it and put it on the floor.

BAM

You groaned. There was no way you’d be able to work through this. The pens on your desk had started to roll around, for fuck’s sake, and you’d just watched one of your books do a little jump towards the edge of your desk. What could possibly make that much noise? You stood up and moved to your door, poking your head into the hallway. Your neighbors on either side, Jillian and Greg, were doing the same. You all silently raised your eyebrows at each other and then shrugged in unison. Clearly they didn’t know what it was, either.

BAM

You ventured out, heading towards the source of the sound. You heard the two of them start to chat about their shared course behind you as they followed more slowly. You weren’t the only ones heading curiously towards the lobby of the building, which was just at the end of your hall of offices. As you turned the corner and looked through the large front windows of the building, you realized the sound wasn’t coming from inside at all, despite its volume and power. It wasn’t even something on the steps up to the building. It was coming from the south side of the quad — your building sat on the west side, on the same corner, not far away at all — in the construction zone for the new library. They’d started building it last semester and weren’t anywhere close to finished with it yet.

BAM

The machine that was making all the noise was easily 20 or 30 feet tall, maybe more. As it came into view, you realized it was some sort of ludicrously enormous industrial hammer… thing? Whatever it was, it was dropping a massive weight from the top of its little… chute, straight down towards the ground, apparently hammering in what looked like spikes? Beams? You shook your head and crossed your arms. You weren’t usually at such a loss for words, even in your own head. Jillian and Greg arrived and stepped up next to you and you all stood almost pressed against the glass of the windows to watch.

BAM

“Anyone get an email about any construction?” Jillian squinted at the hammer thing.

“Nope,” Greg huffed. “But really, do we ever?”

“Good point,” you agreed. “This is like, a whole new level of noise, though.” They both nodded.

BAM

“They were supposed to start at 5,” a new voice added from behind you. It was Claire, the chair of your department. “They just told me about it yesterday, but it wasn’t supposed to be during regular hours.” She frowned, and then sighed. “It’s only lunchtime.”

“Should we ask them about it?” Greg spoke up to suggest it, but you knew there was no chance of him actually doing it himself. The man could dodge confrontation like it was a sport and he was the reigning world champ in the weight-class of mild, unassuming academics. You met Jillian’s eyes and knew they were thinking the same thing. You smirked but turned before Greg could see it.

You replied, “I’ll go. I need to know if I should bother to stay here and try to grade or just head home.” Your Friday classes were over before lunch, and they all knew it. (Greg was jealous, but he’d never admit it. Too confrontational.) Claire nodded, gesturing you forward.

“Be right back.”

BAM

As you opened the door, you realized that, against all odds, it was actually possible for the noise to get even louder. It felt like it was rattling your brain down into your spine, drowning out the sounds around you as you walked on a short diagonal path to the library construction site. The quad was criss-crossed with seemingly random paved paths that followed the natural walking paths formed in the grass, and this diagonal one led you straight from the steps of your building to the center of the site. Before you could even get to the other sidewalk, though, a man in the typical construction outfit — plus safety goggles and some sort of headphones — noticed you and walked over to intercept.

BAM

“Sorry, ma’am, can’t come this way right now. You’ll have to use the other paths.” You were already opening your mouth to ask about the noise when his voice hit you and you realized just who he was under all of the protective equipment. You reacted before you could stop yourself.

“You! Again!” You belatedly realized you were pointing at him like this was some sort of dramatic reveal in a murder mystery. You had no idea when your arm had even raised. You dropped it quickly and stuffed your hand in your pocket.

BAM

He stopped short, and considered you before removing his headphones. “Looks like.” His voice was loud, shouting over the banging noise that was rattling your eardrums from this close. You rolled your eyes, but told yourself to take a deep breath. “Let’s move this back to the other path,” he continued. He started to herd you in that direction, keeping himself between you and the construction site as you moved backwards.

“No, I was going to… Look, we were told this noise wouldn’t start up until the end of the day.” You tried not to say it like an accusation — you’d already accused this random stranger of enough weird stuff this week — but it probably came out that way anyway. He nodded, eyebrows furrowed.

“Had a change in schedule. Some issues with deliveries and the work plan for the next few days.” You waited a beat, but he didn’t say anything else. No other information seemed to be forthcoming.

BAM

“That’s it? How long is it going to go on?” You knew you sounded annoyed, but really? He shook his head. “Maybe a few more hours? Hard to say.” Hours? You thought it, and apparently couldn’t stop yourself from saying it.

“Hours?! Are you serious?” He nodded. “It’s the middle of the day!” He shrugged. “That’s it?” He nodded again, starting to herd you back again, but you cut him off. “No, seriously, that’s it? There are classes right now, and—” He sighed, and looked over his shoulder towards the construction site, where the hammer thingy was still banging away.

BAM

“I’m sorry, darlin’, there’s nothing I can do about it.” He did at least look sorry, as he removed his protective glasses. Up close you saw that his brow was furrowed in concern and he tried to gesture for you to back up again. You suddenly realized you were bothering some guy on the crew with something he probably had no control over, while he was just concerned for your safety. You sighed. “No, I know, sorry. Look, can you tell your boss or whoever to at least let us know next time?”

For some reason this request amused him, and his smirk in response annoyed you. “What?” Your tone had become snappish again and you were ready for this conversation to be over.

“Nothing. I’ll be sure to let him know.” He smirked around this reply like it was the funniest thing he’d heard all day, but you didn’t have the patience to try to find out why.

BAM

“Ok! Ok. Just— fine. I’ll let everyone know. Thank you.” You needed to get out of there before you took out your frustration on this random contractor guy. Again. (Hot Construction Guy, Beth’s voice said in your head.) You turned on your heel and started to head back in the building. For a second it seemed like he might have wanted to reach a hand out to catch your arm, but he didn’t, and you had no idea why you even thought he might’ve.

BAM

At the top of the stairs into the building, you turned, and saw that he had drifted closer to stand right at the bottom, trailing after you. You found yourself in the same position you’d been in the other day and you almost tripped in surprise before steadying yourself with the railing. “What’s that godawful thing called anyway?” His mouth stretched into a grin. You watched smile lines crinkle around his eyes and tried to get a grip on yourself.

“A pile driver.”

“You’re kidding.” The name distracted you from admiring him, at least. He snorted and shook his head at your incredulous tone. “There’s actually a real thing called a pile driver? I thought it was just a euphemism.” You could see he was trying to tamp down on his grin but failing.

He shrugged. “Nope, that’s the real thing.” He gestured behind himself with one hand. You rolled your eyes and turned towards the door.

“Of course it is. Ok. Bye.”

BAM

The pile driver (you snorted to yourself) helpfully punctuated your exit from the conversation as you entered your building again. A larger crowd had gathered by that point, and they all groaned in unison when you announced the hours of noise still ahead of you.

You headed back to your office as the crowd split off into grumbling, agitated smaller groups, ready to pack your stuff and go home. To your great displeasure, Trevor the Brit Lit Prick fell into step with you. You held off from rolling your eyes by sheer force of will.

“Didn’t you tell him we needed less noise?” Trevor’s sneering, haughty tone immediately pressed every single of one of your buttons, just like it always did. What a prick. “I can’t help but notice that the sound is still happening.” You took a deep breath.

“Trevor, they said there was a scheduling issue.”

He tutted. Actually fucking tutted at you, like some kind of old-timey schoolteacher in a movie. “You should have informed him that this is unacceptable.”

“Well, Trevor, you’re welcome to give it a try yourself.” Before you could say anything stupid to the man currently overseeing the committee that decided approval for all new courses, you added, tone as even as you could manage, “he said there was nothing he could do.”

With that, you opened the door to your office, sang a cheerful, “bye, Trevor!” and closed it in his face. Perhaps with a little more force than was really necessary, but Trevor really was a prick.

As you closed the door, though, the pile driver sent another BAM echoing through the building, and the combination of the noise and your door shutting at the same time visibly shook the walls of your office. You watched as your framed photo with your niece, Ellie, vibrated right off the wall.

The glass in the frame shattered all over the floor.

The frustrated noise you let out in response was, at least, drowned out by the next BAM. Small mercies.

…

you (1:14 PM): guess who I just saw again

bestie (1:21 PM): HCG?? 👀

you (1:22 PM): this time with a fucking pile driver

bestie (1:25 PM): … is that euphemism

you (1:26 PM): sadly no there’s actually a fucking pile driver at the construction site for the library. it’s making more noise that I imagined any piece of equipment could ever make and I was nominated to go check it out (1:26 PM): and guess who was standing there, ready to direct me away from it

bestie (1:27 PM): and???

you (1:27 PM): and nothing! (1:28 PM): he couldn’t do anything and smirked at me when I told him to tell his boss to schedule better next time. like an asshole. AND he called me ‘darlin’ again

bestie (1:29 PM): was he really being an asshole or are you just embarrassed about flashing him still

you (1:31 PM): ok rude (1:31 PM): and it was just my bra

bestie (1:31 PM): so it’s the second one then

you (1:32 PM): RUDE (1:32 PM): who’s side are you ON here beth

bestie (1:33 PM): the side that gets you to give HCG your number next time (1:33 PM): since he clearly works on campus and he’s around all the time (1:34 PM): and he’s “exactly your type”

you (1:35 PM): 🙄 (1:36 PM): I doubt he’s into me I’m just some annoying professor who yelled at him for no reason (1:36 PM): twice (1:38 PM): I ran into trevor after too

bestie (1:38 PM): ugh (1:38 PM): that prick

you (1:39 PM): he tutted at me (1:39 PM): like an actual tutting noise

bestie (1:40 PM): how is he always such a prick

you (1:42 PM): pretty sure he was born with it

…

you (3:08 PM): [video of pile driver operating, loud BAMs clearly audible]

Ellie (3:17 PM): whoa (3:17 PM): wtf is that

you (3:19 PM): a pile driver, apparently

Ellie (3:21 PM): what!! 💀 (3:21 PM): no fucking way

you (3:22 PM): way. it’s so loud it knocked our picture off my office wall

Ellie (3:23 PM): 👿 is it broken

you (3:24 PM): yeah ugh there was glass everywhere (3:24 PM): I have to get a new frame

Ellie (3:26 PM): 👿 you better fix it

you (3:27 PM): 🙄 I will you little gremlin

...

a/n: I'm trying a new thing with the texting to make it easier to read. let me know what you think? see you next Friday for chapter 3! prev | next

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fic #my fic #maintenance request fic #x reader #mediocre attempts at describing construction equipment

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