#I don't know sorry...

[lenaellsi]

guard snake

#saving me makes him so happy 0:) #yes i know snakes don't have eyelids but it's cute. sorry. #good omens #good omens fanart #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #snake crowley #this is silly. they are silly

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?) #(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay) #long post #tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then #anyway once again i'm sorry #i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone #i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks. #hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper #because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

#not vc sorry #bird #birds #aves #raptor #hawk #red shouldered hawk #i think. might be wrong on that id #accipitriformes #birds of prey #honestly a really cool guy so close up #I'm happy i wasn't attacked. i would not want to fight a guy that big. #talons on this bird were huge. big scary. #I've never heard of large predatory birds just landing in front of people like that so i don't know what gives #it didn't catch any food or anything. just landed near me then stared me down. #I don't know a lot about bird behavior so i tried to not look back at it but still. #it also didn't look injured. seemed like a healthy bird #if anyone has any idea why this thing would act the way it did I'd love to know

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

#fanfic #ao3 #archive of our own #fandom things #tumblr things #i may have said this at some point #i'm sure i have #but whatever - just in case #i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics #but just if anyone is so inclined that's all #ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog #i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting #but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen #not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy #at least of fics bc i save everything #not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about #that i've made or done and only posted here #anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today #i have plans to stare into the void now

[doom-dreaming]

"when i was your age, i was working three jobs to help support my family" and "when i was in college i was sleeping on a mattress on the floor and living off of soup"

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DO THAT. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO DO THAT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT THIS ISN'T A CHARACTER-BUILDING LESSON, IT'S JUST BAD

#have you maybe considered even once that an 8-5 job is not the natural human state #'i never had a job with so much leisure time' #YOU NEVER WORKED A SHIFT JOB #EVEN WHEN YOU WERE SCRAPING BY IN COLLEGE #I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THINGS HAVE GOTTEN EVEN WORSE SINCE YOU WERE MY AGE #screams forever and ever #sorry this is literally just incoherent venting

[jerich0two]

Surprise! It's not Hazbin Hotel, shock horror... but happy pride month! I like this Mordecai headcanon (edit: I've since been told that it's canon!)

#sorry if he ended up sounding british here #i don't know if garish is an american term let alone a prohibition-era one #but I do what I want /j #also I'm painfully aware that the composition in the full image is terrible but I wanted to include my Very Funny Dialogue #lackadaisy #lackadaisy cats #lackadaisy fanart #lackadaisy mordecai #mordecai heller #pride month #ace pride #asexual #boozecats #<- i love that tag #jeri's art tag for convenience purposes

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

#do YOU think jeeves and wooster would survive castle dracula? let me know in the comments! #they're in the castle separately instead of together because those are the rules ok #the isolation is key #though if anyone wants to speculate about what would happen if they went together i will NOT complain #i don't even know what's going on with the tenses in this post i'm sorry #// #jeeves and wooster #reginald jeeves #bertie wooster #dracula #do i need to tag dracula spoilers? #sure there are some people new to receiving letters from our good friend jonathan harker #here it is just in case: #dracula spoilers #i have done my due diligence

[thornedarrow]

proof of concept // i think i'm gonna love you for a long long time

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #soukoku #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #osamu dazai #still don't know how to tag this fandom sorryyyyyy #signature is my main this my friend and i's sideblog <3 when you wake up and see this ummm sorry. #chuuya #dazai #art: bea

[thereallycoolmonsterithoughtup]

kabru and mithrun's fun succubus adventure

#dunmeshi #really cool art i thought up #kabru of utaya #mithrun #dunmeshi spoilers #<- idk. anime watchers dont know who mithrun is or what he does so i think it needs a spoiler warning #labru #<- I GUESS.................. #I'M SORRY For adding that stupid fucking figure i think it's really funny and i never want to see it again in my life #i don't think his succubus would show up as that thing i think hes more Complex than that it would just be funny #also mithrun's succubus might actually shapeshift who knows?? Thats not what this comic is about though. just My Funny Joke.

[mushroomjar]

is it lesbian friday yet

It's always lesbian friday if you believe

#i don't know if lesbian friday is a reference to something sorry #tristan tag #cat answers #lesbianposting

[redysetdare]

Accept and support repulsed people or die by my blade

#text #aspec #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #aroace #sex repulsed #romance repulsed #platorepulsed #touch repulsed #any other a-attractions and repulsed ppl are included too #i just don't know them all im sorry

[egophiliac]

You can’t pick Lilia for this. But who is your other favorite short character in Twst?

I like the angry little king boy 🌹

#art #twisted wonderland #sorry epel and ortho i like you guys a lot too! #oh and grim i guess #wait how many other shorties are there in twst #anyway i have a lot of affection for episode 1 and for riddle's character arc #he is a terrible little bastard who is trying very hard to be a slightly less terrible little bastard #and i have feelings about his friendships with trey and cater and che'nya especially! #and how that relates to his upbringing and his dumpster fire of a mom and uhhhhhh you know. everything. #i don't know how to do the words about all the thoughts i have on fictional characters #me waving my hands frantically in the air: it's about LOVE and wanting to be LOVED this is what twst is ABOUT -- #(i am dragged bodily offstage by my collar)

[fma03envy]

You should watch fma03; it's really good I promise

#this was originally the ''Tragic: this song's actual lyrics don't fit my blorbo as well as the lyrics I misheard'' post #sorry abt the change; I saw an opportunity to advertise my special interest and had to take it. you know how it is #adrien says stuff #1k #2k #5k #10k #20k #30k

[moodyseal]

I was poking fun at how unexpectedly silly the CHB kids looked in armour in the first two episodes of the PJO show (acting like an almighty army and all) and then it hit me. This is exactly how some of them will look like when they will be dying in the final battle. Silly. Tiny. Literal children

#i'm sorry i always knew that they were children but #when i read books the characters' ages. idk. don't really register completely #maybe it's because i know their internal pov and don't hear their voices or see them #but these are. 12 y/os #fighting things #and only now that i see an actual live action rendition of pjo do i realize the weight of it all #they're so young oh my god #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #lonely thoughts

[collabwithmyself]

how has NOBODY else made a gif of nimona's tapetum lucidum yet it made me go insane

#sorry for the ass quality i don't know how to edit gifs at all BUT SERIOUSLY!!!! #nimona #nimona spoilers #ballister boldheart #collab rambles #collab fanarts

[biomechabird]

Despite everything, it's still you.

#kieran #pokemon #sorry i know this is badly formatted but i only really made it for personal reasons but then thought hey maybe someone else might need this #yes im sorry the first image having a different outfit bugs me so much but it's the only one i had in my screenshots with that expression #why am i even saying sorry JUST TAKE THIS IF YOU LIKE IT and if you don't... bye #hello if you're reading the tags