#I don’t want to why do I want to!!!

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[prideprejudce]

the fact that reboots used to be like thirty or forty years apart and are now instead like 3-10 years apart is absolutely ridiculous. like are we so trapped in a capitalist hellscape that instead of us naturally cherishing a beloved piece of media like it deserves and looking forward to NEW stories with NEW universes we have to watch the same thing over and over and over again with reboot after reboot after reboot until that media has been so sucked dry that us as an audience are literally sick at the mere mention of it

#harry potter #harry potter tw #avatar the last airbender #disney #disney movies #it’s the same thing with disney and atla and now harry potter #like deathly hallows came out in 2010!!!!!!! why do we need an entire fuckin series reboot??? #besides being able to generate more cash from an already billion dollar franchise????? #I don’t want a retelling of harry fucking potter!!!!!!!! think of something new!!!!!!

[ewwww-what]

Nobody is as excited about the preview as I am. I have paragraphs.

#very bad doodle I just need to get this out there #don’t look at it too hard I’m begging #someone please talk to me about the blood rush breakup before the world explodes #it is not that serious but I will do anything for twenty seconds of them arguing #the episode hasn’t come out but I am shaking #every time they talk I become a little more evil and fucked up #genuinely though aside from the silliness of the conversation being about sports I have some very strong feelings about the little bits we- #-got to see in the preview #like I will inevitably talk about it but just because I know people are gonna beat me to it I just want to express how excited I am #fantasy high #d20 #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #gorgug thistlespring #fabian seacaster #thistlecaster #<- yeah fuck it why not #for my one mutual who likes them #this is for you and you only #fhjy spoilers #my art

[frm9pm]

Doodle exercise

Template

#Drarry #I wanted to add more but I think that defeats the purpose of the deserted island T_T #writers are so amazing #please god don’t perceive me I might perish #wait I just realized why do I always draw Draco with >:( eyebrows - I gotta change that LOL

[lochlot]

i haven’t finished the show yet but they totally are gay and run away together and live happily ever after right? guys ? right? guys?

#s1 Morgwen #morgwen #this is my third time posting this but also my last bc I’m done tweaking it #it had some major contrast issues as well as the fact that they weren’t even looking each other in the eye before #Merlin bbc #Merlin #Morgana #guinevere #morgana x gwen #Morgana pendragon #morgana le fay #Merlin fanart #merlin bbc fanart #merlin art #morgwen art #lesbians #procreate #digital art #fanart #queen guinevere #artists on tumblr #lord why didn’t Gwen say she was loyal to Morgana and mean it #Morgana they could never make me hate u #Morgana stop trying to kill or ruin Gwen’s life ur gay for her okay #when she woke up from a nightmare of Gwen being married to Arthur i almost audibly laughed #Morgana u big homo #I’m gonna draw Gwen in one of her pretty purple/pink dresses but i wanted to do specifically season 1 and I don’t remember her wearing any

[bellwethers]

GURIFISU

#I just wanted to experiment with a colour pallet #but that red kinda makes me feel sick when I look at it #I also feel like I should try drawing different things since all I ever do is draw characters from one angle but I also enjoy doing that #so why stress about doing other things? #I don’t want my art to be boring I guess #fanart #berserk #griffith #griffith berserk

[swedenis-h]

These two, man… (X)

#please forgive me that they’re from the same thing #I know that takes away from the whole meme but #like could have I don’t magneto? yes but also. #but also Leia’s my girl I couldn’t not draw her #and now I have a funny little Star Wars meme that fits my account woowww oh wow #why am I explaining this IM ALLOWED TO DO WHAT I WANT!! #okay bye #art #fanart #digital art #fan art #my art #star wars #leia organa #luke sykwalker #art meme #star wars fanart

[go-see-a-starwar]

“Anakin/Vader has 6 movies, a long running cartoon series and a zillion comics and books about him why do you want a live action series starring him?”

Because Hayden Christensen has an outstanding face and is hot as fuck with a lightsaber hope this clears things up!

#‘why don’t you just watch The Clone Wars?’ Because it doesn’t have Hayden’s face this isn’t complicated #‘why don’t you just read the Vader comics?’ see above #I keep seeing this take on Twitter #it has nothing to do with the quality of the cartoons or comic (which are overall good!) #and everything to do with me wanting to look at Hayden #also I really do think if done right a Vader series would be killer #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #ahsoka series #give hayden a Vader series

[theminecraftbee]

task: answer the following question. do you believe in curses? respond as completely with relevant information as possible.

Grian: Well, that's a lie. This isn't a task. I know it's not a task, I set the things up! Not sure why we're getting a question as pointless as this one, but sure, mysterious scroll, I'll answer. There's no such thing as curses, unless you're Timmy, in which case it's funny, yeah? Besides, I didn't actually kill Etho. Even if that did count, self-fulfilling prophecies aren't the same thing as curses, and I know which one I fall under.

Joel: Do I believe in bloody curses what kind of question is that? Do I really get hearts just for answering this? This feels like a prank or something... well, whatever. There are no such thing as curses, except the Boogeyman curse, which I sort of had today, but it wasn't actually the same at all. A lot of the bloodlust, sure, but a lot more... Etho had to be the one to do it, huh? And it's not the same. Not comforting. That's a stupid thing to say actually. Take it out of wherever you're putting this. Cut it out of the recording. Comforting. Please. As if it were ever... Yeah, I'm done actually. Don't have a good answer. Go away.

Scott: What, other than Jimmy? Bless that man, he may not have died first, but he sure tried his best. Sure, I'll believe Jimmy is cursed. I mean, mostly he's just kind of stupid. Lovingly so. I mean, despite him being stupid, I put up with him, right? That seems like a complete answer to this question. Jimmy's an omen but we put up with him anyway. That's all.

Mumbo: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

Pearl: Oh, I mean, I'm probably cursed. That's what everyone liked to say at one point. I think... I mean, I think this time I have good friends, which is nice. They don't think I'm cursed. And it's not like I--I mean, it's surprisingly fun, acting cursed! And I am just acting. Acting scary, blowing up dance floors, all of that. And I don't really have to this time, so... Maybe I'm not cursed? And since it's acting, it's not real? This is a weird question.

Etho: Oh, man, that's a question. Um, do I have to answer? Because I feel like if I say no, that's really just asking for it, but if I say yes, I have to explain myself. Uh, I think I'm abstaining, unless the zombie thing from earlier counts. That was scary and I hated it. Curses are scary and I hate them in general, but apparently I'm good at them, if you ask everyone else. Um, it's not the only thing I find scary that apparently I'm good at.

Scar: Why, of course I believe in curses! Look at poor, poor... Timbert? Timmy? Jim? Gosh, sorry, I'm very tired right now. That's more proof of curses, by the way! That I'm tired. I've been tired straight since the desert, let me tell you what. And that, my friends, is a curse like no other. What a terrible beast, loneliness is. Wish me luck breaking it, because it's not happening this season!

Cleo: Oh, you mean the thing people like to blame instead of their own actions? Nah. My soulbond was kind of a curse, I guess, but even that's at least half just... bad people. Bad relationships. Good ones, too. We're all just doing what you can, you know? No script, no curses, no characters, just... Oh, I hope everything turns out tomorrow. Sorry, that's unrelated. It's just nicer to hope than to preemptively blame things on curses that don't exist.

Impulse: Well, I mean, I didn't until you just asked me that, but now I feel like I should. Wouldn't that be nice? Being cursed instead of just sort of unlovable? Sorry, no, that's mean to Gem. I shouldn't say that about Gem, she's been good this season. Super, super cursed, mind you, in the like, game mechanic sense? But she's been good, no backstabbing or inability to get love involved. Um, and I guess that's not fair to Bdubs, kind of, except it also totally is and I haven't forgiven him. So I guess if they ask I said I believed in curses, and that's why my life keeps circling clocks? Don't put any of that other stuff down, I'm trying to work on that.

Lizzie: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

Gem: I was just cursed for a task, but that probably isn't what you're asking about, right? I'm new, so I don't know! A task is a concrete thing to believe in, like bloodshed or victory or fun and games. You don't have to believe in those to know they're real, either! They just are, whether you like it or not. I understand that much!

Tango: Gah, don't talk to me about... Deep breaths. Look, I don't care if it's a curse, or if it's just me being really bad, or what, I'm not going out pointlessly this time. Jimmy managed not to die first, I can manage to not go out to a stray arrow or my own bomb or a misstep this time, right? Is that so much to ask?

Skizz: Huh? Curses? I mean, I don't think so, and to be totally honest I think it's kind of mean the way people sometimes rag on people about them. Everyone's got so many good things about them! Why do people like to focus on the unfortunate luck, huh?

Bdubs: Hah! Curses! Let me tell you about curses. When I see curses, I eat them for breakfast. I don't got curses, I've got better things to do! I've got my buddies with the Mounders, and I've got-well, I'd say keeping Etho safe, but he's being weird at me again this season. Not that it matters. It never matters. Etho and I, we're... The point is, that doesn't matter anyway, because I have the Mounders, and they're the ones who matter here. And because I'm a strong, independent Bdubs, who doesn't need anyone but my bow and my perfect, flawless fighting prowess! Sorry, what was the question? I've been thinking so much lately that it's just sort of made everything else pop out of my head, so it's hard to keep track. I'm sure I answered it flawlessly, though.

Martyn: Of course there are curses. That's half the fun for you lot, isn't it? Putting your little curses on us and watching us rail against them. Bet you think it's real cute to ask us what we think of the things, too. "Oh, what do you think of curses," like we have any control over them. Please. If I had any control over curses, Jimmy--or, well, no, I guess that one was technically broken, wasn't it? Sure doesn't feel like it. Point is, curses are bad, and they're definitely real, and I hate you for them, got it?

BigB: Look, man, if you're trying to get me to write my character out for you, just say so! I won't tell anyone. We can come up with a hole thing about holes and red tasks and the Backrooms together! It'll be fun! After all, you probably don't know what kind of curse to say I have, right? Haha, just kidding. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Luckily, neither does anyone else, so I think that evens out between the lot of us.

Jimmy: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

#secret life smp #a bee fic #not tagging everyone in this because it's. everyone #anyway i have wanted to write this for like TWO WEEKS so i figured that now's as good a time as any #anyway this is probably as thinly disguised as my character meta gets #we talk a LOT in this fandom about curses #we talk about whether we like them as fanon we talk about whether we dislike them we talk about who has them we talk about why #we talk about if they're here or broken or anything else #so i'd like to think the characters have an opinion on curses too after how much talking about them we've been doing #...at least the characters around to tell us their opinions do. #(anyway for all I claim this is thinly disguised character meta it IS actually of note that this isn’t actually about if they believe) #(but instead about how they’d respond if they were asked) #(hence why half of them don’t even answer the right question) #(this is why I’m not good at character meta btw)

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Happy new years… let’s stay hydrated together ✨

#I didn’t end up going to the rave just stayed in with my buddies and had KFC (( Korean fried chicken )) and laughed til we cried so #it was still a wonderful start to the new year 💞🥰💞 #but the fwb wanted pics of my potential rave look so I figured eh I brought the stuff anyways #and now I’m imagining locking eyes with a stranger on the warm and writhing dance floor #the beat thumps and shakes and rattles the air in our breath as the spotlights dance in the reflections of our held gaze #he pushes his way through the crowd with a singular stare and a wicked smile on his face #I smile and turn my back on him arching myself so he knows I am giving what he’s looking for #I take careful steps through the revelry toward the edge where the crowd thins out #I prop myself up on an available stool in a lonely corner of the club as he closes the distance between us #“now I wonder why you dragged me all the way here��� he utters in a playful growl “trying to get far away from the crowd?” #I smile and I nod. “obviously. can’t really do what I want with you out there” #his eyes perk up and his smile gives away the desire building inside him. “yeah? why don’t you show me then.” #“I thought you’d never ask” I smirk. I reach down into my pants and pull out my phone #“so this one is blue. he’s the oldest but he’s sooooo sweet. and that’s Eva. my only girl she’s sassy but she loves swea-” he leaves #whaddahell I say demurely whimpering even… whaddahell… #gpoy

[cedar2bug]

#bpd #complex ptsd #living with bpd #mental illness #mental breakdown #when will the pain end #i don’t want to do this anymore #self h@rm #why why why #depressing shit

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

i feel like the queer community lost when we started policing labels and making sure everyone used the Correct™ labels instead of letting a person decide what feels right for them

#caique posts #inspired by a post a trans guy made asking if it was okay for him to keep identifying as a lesbian even though he’s now a man #and all the comments telling him no because lesbians can’t be men #and also all the other posts of people asking if they’re ''allowed'' to use certain labels #why do you need permission? #who are you even asking permission from? #we’re not cops #do whatever you want forvever #also inspired by an article in a zine in the 80s/90s of two FtMs in a T4T relationship #one of them described the relationship as being between a butch and his sissy boy #i cannot ever imagine anyone calling themselves that nowadays #because of ''only lesbians can be butches'' and ''sissy is offensive'' discourse #i’m sure there are people out there who would want to describe their relationship like that but don’t feel they’re ''allowed'' to #anyway lots of baby queers are tying themselves in knots trying to figure themselves out #and they’re more concerned with using the Correct™ label instead of the one they feel most comfortable with #yeah i just don’t like it #knowing you’re queer should be a liberating feeling #instead of something anxiety-inducing because you’re worried if you’re using labels wrong

[the-crooked-library]

upon my rewatch of season 6 of BTVS I gotta be real here. say what you will abt Mayor Wilkins but he would NEVER have left his murder daughter to struggle alone with debts and a sister. he’d be like “sweetie you own real estate that people live in, why are you working a minimum wage job?.. come now I am going to teach you the most useful evil skill you’ll ever learn, it’s called Being a Landlord” and then pay all her bills and make her drink her milk bc calcium is important

#buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #BTVS season 6 #it would be So funny but also Buffy deserves to have HELP yknow #mayor Wilkins would probably try to set her up with spike also #spike is a simp from 1854 the mayor would be like ah yes finally a proper gentleman. have her home by 11 she has work in the morning #furthermore: ‘Dawn honey we can’t have you skipping school. education is an investment in your future #however if you do want to learn how to steal properly why don’t I take you to work with me today. we will be doing Fraud’

[ramiikin]

Shhhh…

#fnaf 3 #fnaf movie #animation #fnaf fanart #springtrap #william afton #five nights at freddy's #i did this! me! #spring bonnie #yellow rabbit #gif #I really wanted to experiment with animation again #and remembered why I don’t do it often #because I can only wrap my head around frame by frame #and drawing the same picture 20+ times and colouring it #oof ouch owwie my bones #also probably the most on model animation I have done especially without reference #just rotating the apple in my head

[turtleblogatlast]

Fun little silly thought I had about the Lair Games and specifically Leo deliberately losing is all the reasons he could have for doing so.

My favorite headcanon for his main motivation is that Splinter wasn’t proud of him anymore.

I imagine that, in the beginning, winning the Lair Games was Leo’s opportunity to shine. He wasn’t artistic or the baby of the family like Mikey, wasn’t a tech genius who created amazing inventions like Donnie, wasn’t the eldest who was insanely strong and dependable like Raph. So he had to shine somewhere else- anywhere else- and what better way to get attention than to be a winner? A champion?

And then he won too much. And it wasn’t special anymore. He got too big headed, too cocky, he knew this was his element and he ran with it.

Splinter’s words of congratulations slowly petered out. Suddenly, there was no real reason to win.

Winning feels empty when the only one cheering you on is yourself.

So- Leo schemed. And he’s a great schemer, fooling his whole family (and Donnie did deserve a win- people were way happier when he won.)

He even gave up his prized possession! His room!

Though he knows his brothers probably think it’s a bad prize. A terrible one, even.

Leo doesn’t sleep much as is, though. So Dad’s snores were more comforting than anything. It was reassuring to hear him so clearly alive and close by.

Even if the distance between them was larger than Leo’d like.

He’d just have to find something else, something more to show his dad that Leo was someone to trust, to be proud of, to love.

He gets his chance soon after, when he needs to pull off a plan against Big Mama at his dad’s side. Leo can only hope this victory is one that has a lasting effect when his father looks at him with pride once more.

Victory, for Leo, is a pretty loaded term.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #everything Leos do almost always ties back to Splinter send tweet #anyway imo if I was Leo winning every lair game I would be bored as hell #and add on to my own dad joining in with my brothers on being disappointed when I do well? #yeeaaah id be my own biggest fan too #tbh Leo’s big brain plays both in Lair Games and Many Unhappy Returns are his real victories #I will say I was proud of Donnie for doing so well! #he deserves a win definitely #but looking at this from Leo’s perspective and realizing this is JUST before the ‘why don’t any of you trust me’ line hurts #wanna make this hurt more? #how about Leo purposefully wanting to lose…but he was a bit miffed that DONNIE out of anyone won #why? #because Leo makes jokes all the time but Splinter says DONNIE is the funny one #because althroughout Many Unhappy Returns Splinter says how he’d prefer if DONNIE were there instead of Leo #makes me wonder y’know? if there’s any scratchy feelings there #nothing that Leo has against Donnie so much as the assumption that Splinter would prefer him over Leo #which if I was Leo…I’d definitely think so even if Splinter absolutely loves his sons equally #just as Donnie probably assumes the opposite as well #splinter bro plz talk to your sons #but yeah victory for Leo imo is equivalent to acknowledgement #just *seeing* him #so he very easily gets wrapped up in the obsession for being the champion #*lou jitsu* always wins and Splinter wants them more like Lou Jitsu so LEO has to always win or… #or…

[endlessmidnights]

Is there a way to make it so I never existed?

#tw depressing thoughts #anxitey #mentally drained #sorry for being depressing #mental health #i hate me so much #depressing shit #tw depressing stuff #tw sui ideation #mental problems #let me go #i want to disappear #i don’t want to exist anymore #I wish I never existed #tw sucidal ideation #tw self destruction #tw selfhate #you’re on your own kid #why do i exist #let me disappear #you’re losing me #i wish i could disappear #can I not be here #i wanna die #i want to kms #i wish i was never born #can i die yet? #please end my suffering #mentally exhausted #very unstable