#I can’t help being the way that I am!!!!!

[changisworld]

“Why do you make me feel like this, pretty?”

fuckboy!hyunjin x reader

Word count; 5,902

Summary: After hyunjin took your virginity, you grew attached despite trying your hardest not to. You find out he hooked up with someone the day after it happened which broke your heart, making you cry.. but of course, hyunjin caught you crying. He didn’t really know what he felt, it being new to him, as he tries to refuse the silly ideas popping into his brain, he can’t ignore how much you being upset is making his heart.. hurt?? Surely he doesn’t like you too..?

18+ ONLY, MDNI, SMUT UNDER THE CUT.

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

main masterlist here

part 1 here

**This can be read on its own despite it probably being confusing but i highly recommend reading part 1!**

SMUT WARNINGS: spit/drool, PIV, needy reader, pet names, shyish reader, rimming( f rec), oral ( f rec), fingering (f rec), finger sucking, unprotected sex, jealous jinnie, edging???,pull out method, literally 1 spank, slight dacryphilia, jealous jinnie, soft jinnie, kind jinnie, hyunjins a tease obvs, slight aftercare, wayyy fluffier ending than last time you're welcome!!

You & Hyunjin walk off campus, you still hiding your face from him, embarrassed at the tears now staining your cheeks, your face tinged red, you also don't fail to miss the looks you & Hyunjin are receiving from other students walking past the both of you, his arm still around you & you can't help but feel judged, so you push his arm off.

"Forget the cafe, I'm just gonna go home, I feel.. sick. I'll see you later Hyunjin." you murmur, still not looking at him in the eye.

"Y/n stop being weird, just cmon. I promise to cheer you up." He replies back, reaching out to cup your cheek but you move your head before murmuring a quick 'bye' before walking away from him hastily, leaving him standing there, confused & a bit annoyed.

He watches as you turn the corner & he huffs before kicking a stone nearby. 'Why do I care she's actually upset? 'What did I do wrong?' 'I hope she's okay' & 'Shit how can I apologise' are all thoughts that race through his head, no matter how much he tries to shake it all off, he genuinely feels guilty. But why? He never feels sorry for the girls he fucks n chucks, so what makes it different? He barely even knows you? He only spoke to you for a week which is barely anything. He sighs before pulling out his phone & going onto his contacts, about to call Joy, another one of his side things, before deciding against it, instead calling his friend Jisung& asking to meet him.

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Twenty minutes later Jisung meets him at the local dog walking park & they end up sitting on a bench, talking about random stuff before the topic of you comes up, but not because of Hyunjin.

“You’re lucky you got to partner up with y/n for that assignment, I got put with Changbin so obviously i fucking failed, tryna do that presentation on the spot was absolute torture, you still talk to her? she seems quiet as hell.” Han sighs, sipping his bubble tea through his straw & Hyunjin laughs.

“Ay! I actually helped her so shut up, just because you both have no more than eight brain cells, i’m just proof there is such a thing as looks & beauty. Nah, we haven’t really spoken since, just been busy i suppose & what the hell am i meant to say to her?” Hyunjin replies, a quick chuckle leaving his lips.

“What do you mean you’re proof that looks n beauty exist, y/n basically invented it you idiot. Wha'cha mean what are you meant to say to her? Did you fuck her too or something?" Han questions, leaning forward.

Hyunjin just kisses his teeth before nodding & Han just raises his eyebrows. "fuck, I didn't think someone like y/n would get around that way. Can you do me a favour n start speaking to her again n put in a good word about me I wanna approach her but she feels intimidating, you get me?" Once Hyunjin hears these words, a bad & gross feeling bubbles up in his stomach.. is what he feeling... jealousy?

"Uhh.. you're really not her type, she's not up for dating, she told me. Go try your luck with someone else." Hyunjin says in a bitter tone, not looking at the man in front of him & Han scoffs.

"You chat shit Hyunjin, stop gatekeeping! I'll just use my charms & trust me, we'll be fucking a week later n dating two weeks later." Jisung jokes, patting Hyunjins leg but he pushes it off.

"You're ridiculous Jisung, she won't want what's between your legs." Hyunjin spits out before standing up off the bench, stretching out & sighing. "I have things to do, you can keep day dreaming, I'll see you later. choke on your boba." Hyunjin jokes with Han & he spits out a bubble as a response before he walks away, leaving Han on the bench.

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He walks through the rest of the park, thinking about Hans words & he can't get over it. 'Why am I so jealous?' 'Who does he honestly think he is talking about y/n like that?' 'They wouldn't even look good together.' are things that keep racing through his head & he is getting more pissed off as the seconds go by.

He gets out of the park & he keeps walking on the pavement, not having an actual destination in mind.. until he seen you walking out of a random convenience store across the street & a lightbulb lights up behind his brown eyes.

He picks up the pace of his walk as he follows just far enough behind you on the other side of the road until you reach your apartment complex before entering & he can't help but feel like an absolute creep, but that doesn't stop him. He screenshots his location on find my Iphone, just so he won't forget where to go later on as he walks back the way he came, heading to the main line of shops near the campus.

He strolls around for around twenty minutes, looking at random little trinkets, bookmarks with the college logo on it, which he cringes at due to the look of it, before he keeps walking until he reaches a little florist shop.

He enters it, aimlessly walking around, fingertips grazing over a few roses & tulips, admiring the pretty colours as he sets his eyes on a bouquet of lillies. He picks it up, giving himself a better look at it before deciding he is happy with it, heading to the counter.

He places them down, not paying attention to the cashier as he looks at the little vases beside the register.

"Can I get this pink vase to- ohh, I didn't know you worked here Jennie, hiya." he says, surprised. "Sure. You know, Lisa doesn't like lillies, I suggest you get her daffodils, her favourite colour being yellow n all." she responds, smiling up at him. "Ah, they.. they're not for Lisa so I'll pass. Can you fill up the vase with a bit of water too? I think that's what you're supposed to do, right?" he says quickly, hand coming up to the back of his neck, the awkwardness filling the small space.

"mhmm. £29.11 is the total." She says in a cold voice, taking the tag off the vase as she turns around to the small sink, filling up the vase 1/3 of the way. She dumps the bouquet in the vase with no care at all before pushing it towards him, giving him the card machine. He pays, a strained, awkward smile on his face before saying thank you & leaving.

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After buying you a box of chocolates & a Vanilla bean smelling candle & following the path you walked on earlier, he ends up back outside your apartment complex.

He sits on the front steps, waiting for someone to leave the building so he can catch the door & once he is inside, he begins knocking on every door, talking to each person who answers in a quiet voice, Ignoring the confused looks of other students who recognise him who are all definitely wondering why he is knocking doors looking for you, making sure you wouldn't hear him & then refuse to open the door.

He reaches the fourth floor, mouth slightly dry from all the talking he has had to do & he is beginning to doubt his memory. He knocks on the third door & takes a step back, waiting for an answer as he hears footsteps & he can't help the smile that spreads across his face as you are the one who open the door.

"Surprise, & I'm not just talking about my pretty face. Can I come in?" he chirps as he raises his arms, making sure you see what he has brought despite it being almost all you can see, not missing the chance to give you an up & down look, you wearing black tight shorts & an oversized off the shoulder graphic shirt.

"Hyunjin, I told you I was sick.. How the hell do you know where I live?" you question, honestly just confused. "Does that matter? I asked a question, Don't leave me standing here I went to like twenty doors to find you!" he pouts. You roll your eyes & begin to shut the door but Hyunjin stops it with his foot.

"Okay okay okay! I followed you, but not in a creepy way I swear! I just wanted to.. apologise? But I knew you would ghost me If I text you." he says in a sulky voice. You groan before opening the door back open, his pretty face poking through the gap. "You are a creep, you know that? Why you apologising?" you question him, crossing your arms, not amused but slightly flattered despite not showing it.

"I'm not going to broadcast my deep, heart warming words in the corridor for everyone to hear, just let me inside, pleaseee." he pouts again & you just sigh before moving out of the way so he can enter, taking his shoes off as soon as they touch your laminate flooring.

You walk into your connected living room & kitchen before sitting on your corner kitchen counter, your legs swinging off it as Hyunjin follows behind you, looking around at the cute random decorations hung up on your walls & on the mantle pieces.

He places the flowers on your coffee table before walking back into your small kitchen & leaning on the opposite counter top, still holding the chocolates & candle.

"Okay, Can I give you my apology now? I rehearsed this to make sure I get everything right." He tries to joke but you just look at him with a blank expression before nodding, encouraging him to continue. "Okay, I didn't realise how much I've upset you & I'm sorry for not trying to check up on you sooner & stopped speaking to you. I partially didn't even mean to ghost you but I also genuinely thought you wouldn't speak to me anymore since you're always so concentrated on lessons & studying, I thought you would have thought I was getting in your way. I'm also sorry for fucking with that girl & you overheard it, if I'm genuinely being honest, I did it to try wipe my mind of you. I know what we did is a huge thing & it was wrong of me to have acted the way I did, if i'm being honest, this was the first time I did what we did so I just didn't really know how to act, but I'm genuinely sorry y/n. Chocolates?"

He blurts out, not taking his eyes off you as he feels his cheeks go hot, the nerves & also the way you're looking at him making him flustered. You both sit in silence for a minute, him waiting for a response & you thinking of a response.

"Gimme the box & light the candle for me, second drawer to your right n you will find a lighter. If you felt like this all week, You've still had seven days to come n tell me this but instead you've let me feel like shit for a week, this was the exact reason I was unsure to do it with you Hyunjin, in fear something like this would have happened & instead of just growing a pair & talking to me, you fuck someone else to just try forget?" You reply, your voice getting a bit shaky without meaning it, the feelings of it all hitting you again.

Hyunjin listens as he digs into his pocket & pulling out his own lighter & lighting it before putting it on the counter & he walks the few steps over to you, handing you the chocolate before standing right in front of you, leaning his hands on the counter on the outside of your legs, caging you in.

"Please y/n, don't think like that. I know I should have swallowed my pride n apologised earlier, I was just trying to convince myself I didn't give a fuck but I do, hence why I'm here. I honestly think you used those crystals & manifested this or something." he mumbles the last part, looking away from you, his ears going red after hearing his words out loud & your legs stop swinging as you pause at his words.

"What do you mean you actually give a fuck? What are you trying to say." you reply back, resisting the urge to reach out & stroke his hair. Hyunjin sighs & shakes his head. "Don't make me spit it out y/n, It's just gonna sound like a lie to you." You get an anxious feeling in your belly before taking his chin & guiding him to look back up at you. "Hyunjin, just say it, it's only me here anyway. Just say what you gotta say." you respond in a quiet but firm voice, honestly scared.

He doesn't have much option but to look at you as he lets himself melt into your hand lightly before taking a deep breath. "I.. care about you? I don't know, it feels weird but like... I genuinely felt like shit after how I treated you n i've tried to bury it but it just won't leave, I don't really know what it is about you n honestly it scares me." he says in a quiet, quick tone & your jaw drops.

You just freeze as you both just look at each other in complete silence not including the quiet crackling of the candle & your living room clock ticking. Hyunjin can't bare the awkwardness anymore as he gets shy for the first time in years, moving his arms to stand completely upright but you pull him in by the shirt to hug him, tears threatening to leave your eyes as his arms wrap around you in return.

"This better not be some sort of sick joke Hyunjin or i swear I'll kill you, you're gonna boost my ego to a fraction of what yours is." you half laugh as he nuzzles his face into your neck, inhaling your sweet smell. "It's not, dead serious. You're just different n I don't know how to feel about it, stop casting spells to make me attached to you. I've been itching to ask to see you all week, I wish I wasn't being so stubborn." he muffles into your neck, moving his head side to side slightly, his nose tickling your neck, making you lean more into him, chuckling at his stupid joke.

"Stop with the silly magic jokes, you're ridiculous. I want to say you're not forgiven since you need to prove to me you're not talking out your ass but I do accept your indeed heart warming apology & I appreciate it just more than the flowers n chocolate." you say in a soft voice & you feel Hyunjin smile against your neck before he moves & kisses the tip of your nose, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"That's what I wanted to hear, I wouldn't be able to handle it if you had told me to fuck off, my first ever rejection coming from the first person I've ever bought a present for that isn't my mom." You chuckle at this before hopping off the counter, grabbing the box of chocolates that were staring at you.

"Rejection? You tryna say you like meee?" you tease, taking his hands before swaying them back & forth & he rolls his eyes, chuckling. "Was it not kinda obvious? I wanted to say it without directly saying it in case I embarrassed myself but... yeahhh I have a tiny crush, I think you made us soul tied or something." you just 'tut' at his remark but your face goes bright red at his confession, cheeks hurting from how much you're smiling.

"I'm touched. Got thee famous playboy hwang Hyunjin to like like me, not sure if it's a surprise but I like you too." You kiss his cheek before leading him to the couch as you sit on it, him flopping next to you. "Enough of the soppy talk for now or I'll get embarrassed, you can choose a movie while I get us a blanket." He just nods & you hand him the box of chocolates & he begins opening them as you scurry to your room to get your favourite fluffy blankets.

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You both end up watching a recommended Netflix romcom suggestion, both of you devouring your chocolates but you pay no mind to it.

Some point throughout, your legs end up swung over his as your head lays against his shoulder, him stroking your hair with one hand as the other hand caresses your thigh.

Every few minutes or so, you focus less on the movie & more on his touch as his hand slowly rises up your leg, then your thigh & his hand is now grazing against your inner thigh over your tight shorts, giving you goosebumps, which he doesn't miss.

This continues up until Hyunjin repositions himself, pushing your legs off him so he can lay down over your thighs, his view now sideways of the TV, not that he cares, not paying the slightest bit of attention anyway as you momentarily tense up beneath him.

You continue stroking his hair, sometimes digging your fingers into his scalp a bit to scratch it, making him let out a satisfied hum. You can't help but keep looking down at the beautiful man laying on you & you can't help but smile to yourself.

As if he can feel your eyes burning into his skull, he moves the blanket down your legs enough to expose your legs enough for him to begin planting little pecks on them, slightly tickilish but you don't miss the wetness now pooling under your shorts. "Stop teasing Hyune." you speak up, your voice quiet & he just chuckles.

"If you don't want me to tease, I won't complain if you lay back." he replies, not bothering to look up at you as his hand reaches to squeeze your thigh softly as he keeps giving your legs kisses, suckling at them slightly,

You think about what he says & you would be stupid to deny the chance, your pussy clenching around nothing. You lightly push his head up off you & he takes the hint, moving & you push the side of his arm, towards the edge of the couch & he looks at you slightly confused but does what he thinks you're hinting at, getting onto the floor right in front of you, looking up at you with his pretty eyes.

You give him a shy smile before you take it upon yourself to wriggle your shorts & underwear off, leaving your bottom half completely nude, biting your lip in anticipation.

"You really got this desperate since last time I saw you?" he teases & you put your hand in front of your cunt, covering it with how shy you've just started feeling but he is quick to pull it back off, looking at the small shimmer on your middle finger before licking it off in one go.

"Don't be shy, gorgeous. I've been just as desperate if not more, can I get a taste?" he says in a sweet voice, not looking away from you, stars in his eyes. "Please.. If you want to." you respond, hiding your face in your hands but he reaches up & swats your hands away yet again as his other hand begins to slowly drag through your folds, making your hips buck.

"Stop hiding, where's your confidence gone hmm? Do I make you that nervous? trust me, there's nothing I want more." he leans in & kisses right next to your lip before smirking at you & sinking back down onto the floor, blowing cold air onto your now soaking cunt, making your legs tense up & he tongues his cheek as he watches your face twitch.

He spreads your folds open, getting a better view of your hole, clenching around nothing before he licks a long, slow strip from your hole to the top of your clit, letting out a low groan in the process. "Taste better than anything y/n, I fucking swear." he says as he looks up at you for a split second. "eyes on me, if you look away I'll stop." he voices before digging in.

You do as he says & make eye contact with him as his mouth latches onto your cunt as he begins letting spit roll off his tongue, mixing with your juices just before slurping it back up, not afraid to make as much noise as the mixes of juices allow.

You weave your hand in his hair & play with his hair & scratch his scalp for him as he suctions his tongue onto your swollen button, both of you groaning at the same time.

"Hyune, so good" you whimper out, your breath shaky as your eyes struggle to stay open & you feel Hyunjin smile against you. He brings his fingers up to your clit before rubbing it in a steady rhythm as he lets go of before his tongue find its way into your opening before beginning to tongue fuck you & you throw your head back, your moans now louder than the TV still playing behind the both of you, your legs now closing around his head, not that he pays attention to that anyway, if anything he is enjoying it.

You begin to clench around his tongue which he remembers is your tell tail sign you're about to orgasm, your moans getting higher pitched & your grip on his hair getting tighter & he chooses to worm his tongue out of your hole before pinching your clit between his two fingers & dropping a glob of spit to it before giving it one more lick, smirking.

"I wanna try something I think you might like, turn over so you're facing your back to me, hunny." You huff at the beginning of a future orgasm beginning to appear suddenly bubbling away but you do as he says, slightly confused.

You get up on your knees & rest your elbows on the back of the couch, you now looking at the wall behind you. "Why am I fac-" you're cut off as Hyunjin spreads your cheeks & begins fondling them as he begins suckling on your pussy from behind, letting out a satisfied hum behind you as you begin kneading the couch until your fingers begin to ache, biting your lip to try hold back moans.

"G-gonna cum Hyunjin, keep g-going." you whimper, pushing yourself into his face, seeking even more from him if it's even possible & he gives you a quick slap on your ass as he removes himself from your cunt again, much to his own displeasure.

"Don't bite your lip y/nnie, I wanna hear you fully, Mkay?" he speaks from behind you as you yelp at the impact & he hums as he keeps kneading your ass, giving it a few kisses. "Your ass is to die for, you know that? Gonna taste it." Before you can even process what he says, your mind too full of lust to understand, he is letting a glob of spit fall past his lips & it landing right on your tightest hole.

You try jerk your hips away from him but he is quicker & pulls you back to him, keeping a tighter grip on your ass, keeping it spread as his tongue begins to graze over your pretty pucker, his eyes scrunching together as he smiles against you, tongue now drawing patterns on it as he lets go of one of your ass cheeks, going down to your leaking cunt again before entering two fingers, instantly finding the same G-spot that made you orgasm only a week or so ago.

Your hips buck at the new sensation & you let out a long mewl, letting your face fall onto the back of the couch as your knuckles turn white from how hard you're clenching on it.

Your pretty hole is clenching & pulsating on his tongue as he lets out a deep growl at your taste, so different compared to your cunt but still enjoyable, you're moans getting to an even higher pitch as his tongue enter inside you, swirling around as much as the tight ring will allow.

"Hyun- please l-let me cum, s-so- fuck!" you basically scream out, not even being able to find the strength to lift your head up to look at the man behind you as your pussy & ass clench around his fingers & tongue but right before you cum, Hyunjin pulls completely away, again & your legs shake from the painful pleasure of yet another stolen orgasm.

Hyunjin leans over so his clothed chest is touching your back & he tilts your head so he can see your pretty face & he sees your now tear soaked cheeks & your pretty, glossy eyes.

"Awww, pretty girl couldn't contain their tears, could you? I promise you can cum now, I don't have a condom on me though beautiful so do you just want my fingers hmm? or my tongue?" he questions as he strokes your now damp hair out of your face, pouting at you.

"J-just fuck me Hyune, j-just pull out." you whiimper back to him, your breath so unstable it's difficult to even push the words out. Hyunjin opens his mouth to re ask you, just to make sure he is hearing things right but you wiggle your naked ass against him & he bucks his hips before just nodding before kissing your shoulder & then shimmying his pants & underwear down, freeing his pretty cock.

He spits onto his cock, pumping it into his hand a few times, letting out a hushed groan before he aligns his tip with your pussy, rubbing himself against it a few times to coat his tip in your juices before prodding his tip against your hole, before pushing just the tip inside.

"I'm still gonna be gentle, it's only your second time, tell me if this position is uncomfortable." he speaks behind you & as you mumble out an 'okay' while your face now being mushed against the cushion again, he pushes his hips forward very slowly until he buries himself to the hilt, you both letting out a moan in unison.

He stills inside you, trying to not cum instantly from how hot your walls feel without the restriction of the condom he wore last time, his hands coming to rest on your hips as he waits for your signal to continue.

Your breath staggers as he pushes forward, the stretch being a bit painful but no way near as painful as last time & after a minute or so, you push yourself on his cock experimentally, making you both hiss.

"You- please move, mak-make me cum Hyune, p-please." you elongate the last word, turning your head to the side so he can actually hear you. He takes a deep breath & pulls out half way before pushing back in, the both of you letting out a whine as his balls slap against your clit, making it even more intense for you.

Hyunjin sets a steady rhythm, lightly using the tips of his finger nails to add sensation to your back, tickling it but also feeling nice as you know it will leave those pretty little red marks later on. Both of your moans & whines fill the small apartment, not even thinking about how your neighbours can one hundred percent hear you.

"Y/n yo-you're too tight, s-so warm." he breathes out, lifting his leg & standing it on the couch for a better angle as he keeps rutting into you, leaning over your back again to kiss your cheek, your moans going straight into his ears.

"To- so big hy-hyune, pleas-e lemme c-cum." you whimper, your eyes scrunching closed, the ends of Hyunjins hair tickling your face as he begins to nibble on your earlobe, your cunt clenching impossibly tight around his cock, almost suffocating it.

"c-cum with me baby, h-hold on for me." he groan back as he tilts his neck into an uncomfortable position just so he can kiss your lips. His tongue instantly enters your mouth & you suckle on it, tasting the remaining taste of your juices from what he hasn't already repeatedly swallowed, making you moan in content.

Hyunjin speeds up his pace slightly & your G-spot loves this, making your legs almost give out on the spot as your brain turns into mush. "I-in my s-stomach Hyun-deep." you babble out against his lips, barely even knowing your own name at this point.

As Hyunjin stands back upright after giving your shoulder a few pecks, his phone begins to ring. Your eyes spot his phone on the other end of the couch, where he was sitting earlier but he reaches over & declines it before shutting his phone completely off, throwing it to the side, his pace not slowing once.

You don't bother questioning it, instead focusing on the noises of your slick & his balls connecting together mixed with the sweat of the both of you, sloppy clapping noises of your skin connecting filling the room, your legs begin to give out as Hyunjin worms his fingers down to your clit yet again before rubbing it frantically.

"In your s-stomach hmm? You can cum for me angel, n-not gonna last, too w-wet n tight." he squabbles, breathing frantically & this i all you need to hear as your entire body tenses up as finally, your orgasm hits you like a brick wall & you let out a squeal & Hyunjin has to grip onto your hips as his life depend on it in order for you to not flop & slip off the couch.

Your noises & the way your pussy flutters around him is just too much for him to handle & as much as he doesn't want to, he pulls himself out of your wet, hot walls as his cum spurts down your ass & back, throwing his head back as his cock quite literally pulsates as his balls empty, a high pitched whimper leaving his lips, breathing staggered.

He comes back to his body quicker than you do & he helps reposition you so you're fully laying on the couch, trying to make sure his cum doesn't get onto any other surface.

He grabs his underwear & wipes the cum off your back in a comfortable silence, slightly twitching as he wipes it off. He leans over your back again before kissing your earlobe. "Did so well, so proud of you, still so pretty for me despite being sticky with sweat." you both weakly laugh as you turn onto your back before using the ounce of strength you have left to pull on his wrist.

"cuddle." is all you say as you pull on him until he lays on top of you, half his weight dangling off the arm of the couch as he lays his head on your chest, listening to your still racing heartbeat & he can't help but feel secure.

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You both sit like this for a while, talking to one another about what you both spoke about in a bit more detail & also just talk to each other about things you don't know about one another, things like family pets, favourite colours, favourite brands etc.

Hyunjin ends up powering his phone back on & you are both just scrolling through his for you page, when you remember his phone ringing. "Quick question hyune, who was it that called you? If it was important you coulda stopped to answer." you ask him, not lifting your eyes from the video playing on his phone screen, not really thinking too much of it.

"Don't stress it, it was just someone I'm not gonna be speaking to anymore." he replies in s tired voice, still scrolling. His reply slightly confusing you. "Who? I don't mean to be nosey or anything but now i'm curious." you respond back, your fingers in his hair now pausing.

Without saying anything, he switches apps, onto his call log & it's Lisas name at the top.. nineteen missed calls. He just sighs as he presses on the 'more' option before deleting her number & deleting the Imessage conversation without even bothering to read her spam of texts, yelling, crying & cussing him out before switching apps back onto tiktok without saying a word & you just blush, your hands cupping his cheeks from above, your thumbs just below his eyes.

"You're cute." you say as you squeeze them playfully & he just 'tut's but still, he melts himself into your touch.

I'm not completely sure if I want to leave this story as a two parter orrrrrr do a third n final part but to everyone wanting a happier ending here you all are!

Tags: @troublemaker02 @ismokeeweed @lmhcats @isagerada @tsunderelino

#hyunjin skz #hyunjin smut #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin #skz smut #stray kids #straykids x reader #straykids #stray kids smut #skz fanfic #skz fluff #skz x reader #skz #skz hyunjin #smut #kpop smut #fanfic

[theyluvkarolina]

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐒

· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` who is that girl? ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃?: Yes!

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ Secrets are amazing between two people. But people can’t help but wonder who that girl is with Lance, and why she randomly shows up every so often. Well, maybe it’s time for this secret is to be shared.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ Lance Stroll x Military!Reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ mentions of the military, online hate (Hate and Lance are a package deal) but nothing serious. Also, the time frame is 2023 but photos may not be accurate!

𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ i have little to no knowledge of the military so i tried my best! I decided to make Y/N one of the 1,200 Canadian troops deployed to Latvia. Lots and lots of love to you all 🩷 I did some research and found mixed responses about text messaging while in the military but for the sake of the fic, we will make it able to text friends, family and be on socials! Not my longest fic, but definitely one of my favorites.

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lance_stroll ✔︎

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lance_stroll not a bad race day! glad to have some support despite the time difference 😊

2,310 comments

username1 THERE SHE IS AGAIN

username2 lancey strolly has a secret… and it’s not about him being on top

→ username3 being on top?? 😏 → username2 enough.

username4 no bc the way she comes on his socials and then just leaves again??

→ username5 maybe they are a on and off couple 🤷 → username6 no bc it’s soooo fishy?? → username7 i wouldn’t be surprised if she’s using lance for his money like all the other wags are → username8 or… or just maybe… she has a job and her life doesn’t revolve around her boyfriend 😱 😱 → username9 @ username7 bold of you to assume that they go after money as if the drivers don’t go after looks 💀

username10 does literally ANYONE know who in the world this girl is?? she’s been with lance since he started but then he posts her like a couple times a year and we never seen her in the paddock

→ username11 managed to find a old photo lance and some girl when lance first joined williams and lance had he tagged! apparently, her name is Y/N L/N but because he account is private, we don’t know much else about this maybe being the same girl. → username12 im sorry you are just sound STALKERISH. if i was his gf like y/n rn, i wouldn’t wanna show my accounts or who i am either.

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lance_stroll the real prize of montreal this year 🏆 My girlfriend definitely gave me the support i needed this weekend after our time spent apart. For everyone wondering, this is my amazing girlfriend Y/N who does the unthinkable. The reason why you barely see us together is because Y/N works as a engineer in the military. I always miss her, but her support means the world to me (whether it be online calls or seeing her for such a short amount of time 😅) and I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for her support and belief in me since we were kids. Love you, and i cannot wait for the big day 🩷

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username13 OKAY LANCE “HARD LAUNCH” STROLL

username14 SHES A MILITARY GIRL

→ username15 no bc a being in the military and being a engineer is so badass?? → y/n_l/n stop im blushing so hard rn 🥹🥹

username16 i love how everyone is ignoring that lance just announced they are getting married in such a subtle way.

fernandoalo_official such a nice couple 😊 can’t wait for the wedding!

→ username17 WEDDING??? → username18 WTF DO YOU MEAN WEDDING??

landonorris ✔︎ FERNANDO KNOWS BUT THE REST OF US DON’T???

→ estebanocon ✔︎ we feel betrayed over here 😞 → mickshumacher ✔︎ very hurt. → lance_stroll ✔︎ whoops..? → landonorris ✔︎ DONT YOU “whoops” US YOUNG MAN??? → lance_stroll ✔︎ i’m literally a year older than you??? → landonorris ✔︎ you get what i mean.

y/n_l/n AHHHHH LANCEY STROLLEY :((

→ username19 LANCEY STROLLEY WILL MAKE HIS WAY ON TOP!!

y/n_l/n sir lancelot 💔 🥹

y/n_l/n i’m so happy rn you don’t get it 🩷 it sucks how different our lives are because of our jobs but i’m so glad i have you 🫶

Liked by lance_stroll!

→ lance_stroll ✔︎ right back at you 🫶 → username20 what if i started crying rn.

username21 THE GF REVEAL!!!

→ lance_stroll ✔︎ *fiance now :)

username22 she served. literally.

username23 the way her being on and off rn makes so much more sense…

username24 okay… they are pretty cute..

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓: “Hi girl. This just randomly popped in my head so I’ve decided to ask if you can write it since I love your works.Lance x military fiance, no one knows their together expect his father and he just randomly soft launches every now and again when she’s home and it always catches people off guard. Anyways she’s been gone for like a year or two and she’s finally getting to come home for a while so she decided to surprise him at his home race and a video gets leaked or sm and then he hard launches. This could be a mix of smau and real life if you want. Thanks. I can't wait to read the charles x ballerina fic your writing. Your fics never disappoint 🫶” - Anon

#☆ﾟ user ↳ theyluvkarolina ◝ #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #formula one x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smau #formula one x you #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll #formula 1 x reader #lance stroll x you #lance stroll imagine #lance stroll x y/n #lance stroll fluff #aston martin f1 #aston martin #ls18

[jareaul0ver]

How about a Nika fic where reader feels intimidated by nika when nika first tries to make moves on her and nika can’t figure out where it’s going wrong bc usually no one can deny Nika?? but it gets flufffffy

wc: 1.4k warnings: no warnings really, just nika and reader making each other nervous pairings: nika muhl x fem!reader

The First Attempt

The UConn women's basketball team was practicing in the gym at the same time as the cheerleading squad. It was the beginning of the new season and both groups had their sights set on nationals.

Junior year was an exciting start for you. Last year you had been told that the chances of you being the cheer captain were incredibly high, and you certainly weren't disappointed.

The second that tryouts had ended, you were appointed with the title of being the cheer captain. The pressures put on you were high, but you knew you could handle it.

The first practice of the year was coming to an end and you packed up your things. "Great job today guys, let's keep it up." You said to your girls before going to finish gathering your things.

Across the gym, the basketball girls were packing their things up. You usually coordinated your practices so they would overlap. It was more convenient for everyone this way.

“Just go talk to her, dude.” Paige gently shoved Nika’s shoulder, and the brunette shook her head.

“You think I should?” She stated over at you as you packed your bags. Paige kept encouraging Nika to talk to you, so eventually she came over. “Hey.” She said from behind you.

You spun around and took a step back when you saw her. “Oh, hi.” You responded quietly.

The two of you just stared for a moment and you felt your face heating up. There was a beautiful woman standing in front of you, and you froze. She was tall, pretty muscled from playing basketball, and you knew how rough she was on the court from watching her games.

“How- how are you?” Nika nervously scratched at her arm for a moment before letting her hands hand stilly at her side.

“I’m good.” You said curtly. All you could wonder was what the fuck are you doing. “Sorry, I’m in a little bit of a hurry.” You muttered as you spun back around and finished packing your things.

Nika nodded. “Right, yeah, go ahead. Sorry.”

You shoved the last thing into your bag, then sipping it up and slinging it over your shoulder. “I’ll see you around.” You glanced at her before leaving the gym.

Nika closed her eyes and groaned before making her way back over to Paige. “What am I doing wrong, P?”

She snickered. “As if I’d know.” Nika hit Paige on the arm and the blonde scoffed. “Rude. Don’t ask for my help anymore.”

“It’s not like your advice helped me. She basically said ‘oh, I don’t want to talk to you, goodbye!’ without actually saying it!” Nika groaned and covered her face with her hands.

Paige patted her on the back and chuckled. “You’ll get her next time.”

The Second Attempt

Coach Geno insisted that the team should invite the cheer squad to a little get together, that forming a tight bond this season would be good for everyone.

“You should ask Y/N. Try and talk to her again.” Paige whispered to Nika. The brunette glared at her and Paige shrugged. “Just saying, at least you’d have a real reason to talk to her.”

She sighed. “Fine.” After Geno had gotten done with them, Nika rushed out of the room and just caught you as you were leaving the gym. “Y/N!”

She called out and you froze the second you heard her voice. You slowly turned around and watched as she jogged over to you. “Hm? Oh, hi.”

“Hey, uh,” she panted, “Coach Geno wants us to get together sometime.”

You froze. “He wants what?”

She shook her head. “I- I mean, the cheer squad and the basketball team. For bonding, y’know.” Nika cursed herself in her head.

You stared at her before nodding. “I’ll let the girls know.” You gave her a brief smile before turning around and leaving.

Nika sighed and walked over to Paige and Azzi with her shoulders slumped. "She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," Azzi said. "Maybe she just... is nervous?"

"Ha, right." Nika sat on the nearest bench. "This has never happened before," she mumbled.

Paige sat next to her. "Just try and talk to her when everyone's together, 'm sure she doesn't hate you."

The Final Attempt

Coach's plan to get everyone together worked. You all decided to hang out in Paige's apartment, since it was decently sized and she was getting drinks.

Most of the basketball team was there already, waiting for you and the cheer squad to arrive. Nika had been preparing to talk to you by getting a shot or two in her system, giving her the confidence boost she needed.

Eventually there was a knock at the door and Paige went to get it. "Hey." She said to you and the rest of the squad standing behind you.

"Hey, Paige. Thanks for hosting." She gave Paige a warm smile and the blonde simply nodded before inviting everyone in. "Brought this, by the way." You held up a bottle of vodka and Paige smirked.

"That's what I'm talkin' about."

Everyone got settled in and you had a cup filled with vodka and Redbull in your hand. You talked to a few of the girls on the team, but your eyes kept pulling you to look at Nika.

Almost every single time you looked, she was staring at you. You swallowed nervously and looked away, resuming your conversation with whoever you were talking to.

You finished your drink and went over to get yourself another one. Everyone was gathered in the living space, and you were alone in the kitchen. Nika finally took this opportunity to talk to you after hyping herself up in her head the entire time you've been here.

"Hi." She said as she stood next to you at the kitchen counter.

"Hi," you spoke softly. You kept your eyes off of her and poured yourself another drink. Nika sighed and grabbed the bottle from your hand, forcing you to look at her as you reached to grab it back. "Give it."

She shook her head. "Not until you tell me why you brush me off every time I talk to you."

Your face contorted into one of confusion. "What?"

"Every time I try to talk to you, you say one or two words and then leave. Did- did I do something to you? Do you hate me?" Her words came out more sad and desperate than she meant, but she didn't care. She needed to know what was going on.

"No, Nika, that's not-" You bit your bottom lip and reached for the bottle, putting you two in close proximity. "That's not it at all. Now give me the bottle."

She held it away from you and you groaned. "Then what is it? Is my vibe off?"

You couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. She was all you've wanted since freshman year, but you two only spoke a few times last year, and now this year. You couldn't bring yourself to get close to her, she scared you a little.

"God, no! You're just-" You took a deep breath. "You're a star basketball player, you're nice, you're really hot, and you make me so fucking nervous that I can never find any words to say to you," you blurted in one long jumbled sentence. "You make me nervous."

A smug look crossed Nika's face. "I make you nervous?" She placed the bottle on the counter next to her and cocked her head to the side. "Really?"

Your face flushed in embarrassment and you looked away from her. "Yes, you do. Happy now?"

She snickered. "And here I was thinking you hated me." Her tongue darted out to wet her lips.

"Definitely not that," you mumbled before looking up at her. You didn't realize how close the two of you were until now. You could feel the heat radiating off of her. She towered over you, which made you even more flustered than before.

"So you wouldn't mind if I..." her hands landed on your waist and you shuddered. "If I kissed you?"

Your lips parted and you shook your head. "Maybe take me out to dinner first and we'll see." You teased her. She laughed a bit but leaned down anyways and brushed her lips over yours.

You made the final move of pressing your lips against hers and, oh, it was perfect. Your mouths fit together just right, and your hands rested comfortably on the back of her neck, playing with her hair a little.

She pulled her soft lips away from yours and hummed. "Fucking finally!" Paige yelled from the other room. Nika shot her a glare and looked back at you.

"I've only been talking to her about you for months." She flushed a little and you giggled.

"Guess it all paid off in the end, huh?"

#nika muhl #uconn wbb #lgbtq #nika muhl x reader #seattle storm #wlw #wnba

[daycourtofficial]

One single thread of gold tied me to you

Pairing: Eris x Rhysand's sister!reader | WC: 6.2k | Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, piv, foodplay (chocolate), oral (f and m receiving)

Summary: After a century of waiting, Eris and his mate finally have a few days to themselves to accept the mating bond.

Author's note: this is technically part of my gingerfucker series but it can be read as a standalone. Big thanks to @basketoffish for help with plotting the idea for it and for helping me edit ❤️ The people have been frothing and yearning for this and who am I deny such want any longer?

Eris never had good timing. Born too soon, bearing the brunt of his father’s cruelties. Born into a war he was too young to fight in, but too old to stay at home. 

All of his poor timing was worth it for this perfect opportunity. Beron would be away for three days and three nights to improve relations with Tarquin, the newest High Lord of the Summer Court. Beron went alone - he perceived it as much more intimidating to go alone (perhaps inspired by Tamlin’s appearance in the High Lord’s meeting a few years ago, winnowing in completely unaccompanied). Beron failed to recognize Tamlin’s appearance was much bolder - he knew he would face scrutiny, but still made an appearance without anyone at his side. Beron merely did it because he wanted to look more intimidating.

Nonetheless, Eris was able to send word to you with enough time for you to rearrange your royal appearances to carve out this time with him - an entire three day span, just the two of you. Three days felt like a lifetime when the two of you were only able to schedule hour-long secret meetings.

Once, in a desperate bid just to have your scent on him, you two had met for a total of twenty minutes.

Your rendezvous were often short, full of imminent risk and danger of being caught. Today felt like a blessing from the Mother, as if she were granting her star crossed lovers a vacation, a peek into what life could be like - what life will be like one day.

You two just had to be patient.

Even an entire court away, Beron would know someone from the Night Court was on his land. Perhaps not immediately, but he would know before your three days were over. So the two of you met in the Winter Court, in a cabin you were gifted a long, long time ago. A cabin you’ve gone to on occasion over the years, whenever you needed to get away and be alone. You had set the trap perfectly for your family - you were getting into petty squabbles the entire week, picking fights with Cassian and Mor left and right that left the two of them reeling with annoyance.

Your brother tired of it quite quickly, clocking it for what he thought it was. 

“Perhaps you should spend a weekend away, star.”

His tone was full of concern, for this was how you always were before retreating to your hidden cabin. Irritable, crabby, unable to have decent conversation with anyone without leading them into a spiral of anger.

“I’m fine,” you reply, intentionally clipping the words to make yourself seem in a much worse state than you were. “Besides, I have some scheduled meetings this weekend.”

Rhys nods, “Feyre has agreed to take over any duties you have that can’t be rescheduled.”

You perked up at that, feeling a little bad at the generosity of his mate. You hadn’t felt easy about this plan - preying upon your family to get what you wanted wasn’t a regular occurrence for you. 

But you refused to let any negative feelings about what you were doing get in the way of seeing your mate.

“Are you sure, Rhys?”

He waves a hand, “Go, please only return once you feel rested and headache-free. Cassian is quite adept at giving migraines.”

You smile, “so no one will bother me?”

He sighs at your continued questioning, “no, star. I think we’d be too afraid to bother you, except for Amren. And she’s in Summer for who knows how long.”

He stands up, crossing the room to you, his long legs practically gliding across the floor. He wraps you in his arms, squeezing you tightly before kissing you on the top of your head. He gently sways the two of you as you wrap your arms around him.

“Thanks, Rhys.”

He lays his head on top of your own, “just send word if you’ll be gone longer than a week. I just want to know you’re alive out there.”

This cabin was a frequent rendezvous point for the two of you, much cozier than the large clearings and forests you two otherwise frequent. The cabin was more ideal, however Eris couldn’t deny how incredible it felt to be inside of you as he leaned you up against various trees in the forest, the leaves crunching beneath his boots as he thrusted over and over into you.

His cock twitched at the thought as he walked towards the front door of the cabin. The door groaned slightly as he entered, marking his entrance. He felt the slight magical barrier ripple as he passed the threshold. He shut the door behind him, taking in the small, two bedroom cabin before him. 

The place was quaint and cozy, an insult he would use to describe Rhysand’s absurdly large and ornate homes, but for you it was a testament to how infectious the comfort you radiated was.

It permeated every surface - the walls, covered in various portraits and landscape paintings, along with shelves of books and trinkets.

His scent was stale from the last time he was here, but yours was fresh, as was the smell of some delicious meats and fresh breads. He closed his eyes and leaned his back against the door, catching a glimpse of you as you pittered about the kitchen. He crossed his arms over his chest, allowing himself a moment to think of what his life could be like if the two of you were ordinary fae. 

He would come home from whatever job he had, perhaps a scholar of some kind, leaving at the same time every day to come home to his mate. 

You two would clean your house together, bickering over your inability in any universe to put dirty socks in the hamper, and how in every universe feet would continue to make Eris shudder in disgust. In any other life, he would be thrilled to experience monotony with you.

But he’s not in another life, one of openness and free-flowing adoration, one free of constant plotting and scheming, earning favors wherever he can. He’s in this one - the reality where no one knows about the two of you, because once they do it will become an inter-court political nightmare. It is a life of stolen glances, hidden messages, and secret meetings under the moonlight, but it is a life that belongs to him, when for so long his life was not his own.

Eris would love you in all lives, your soul reaching to him in every iteration and reincarnation of the two of you. If the two of you were nothing but bacteria living on the same organism’s skin, he would find you. He would know it was you, no matter what shade of organism you wore.

The bond hums in your chest, tugging you to look towards the door where you know Eris is standing and watching. You continue the task at hand, not wanting anything to miss your notice. The bond deep inside of you grows more and more insistent, screaming at you to smell him, taste him, feel him, here, here, here. He’s here, in your house, and you need to look, look, look. 

You let Eris come to you, just as you always had, just as you always will. You’re slicing bread, placing the pieces in the bottom of the bowls when the smell of petrichor and caramel hits your nose, a warm presence at your back. 

“Good evening, my fox.” 

His face burrows into your neck at the nickname, melting into everything that was you. His arms wrapped around you, hands meeting yours. His fingers pull the knife from your grip, gently placing it down on the cutting board.

“What are you doing, my evening star?” His voice is purposefully low in your ear, causing goosebumps to trail down your neck, his hands warming your fingers. 

“I’ll give you three guesses.”

His soft chuckle warms your chest, the bond constricting around your heart at his amusement.

“Are you cooking?”

“Yes, Er.”

“I’m surprised your wraiths didn’t prepare anything for you.”

“They did,” you hum, turning in his arms, his amber eyes meeting yours, not quite certain of what they’re seeing.

His hands meet your hips, his touch warm on your skin, and you circle your arms around his neck, fingers raking through his hair at the root.

He hums at your touch, his face swooping down to kiss your forehead. 

You look up at him under your eyelashes, his nose and cheeks littered with freckles, mapping out where home was. You point your head in the direction of two large picnic baskets, one of which was opened for Eris to see various jars of jams and breads.

“Why would you-” his words fall short, his thoughts racing through his mind. They stream by in words and bits of phrases, but no completed thoughts make their way through the whirl and swirl of mate, food, and bond.

He short circuits, not quite grasping what you’re getting at.

“I have never gotten to cook for you,” you shrug nonchalantly.

His eye twitches, still not understanding.

“You’re cooking… for me?” His words come out slow and uncertain, as if the mere concept of someone choosing to do something like this was absolutely foreign to him. You nod slowly, not used to seeing Eris so incapable of understanding. 

“But if you-“

“Yes.”

“Then we’ll-“ 

“Yes.”

“Are you-“

“Yes.”

He stills, his thumb lightly brushing against your hip. Your eyes are open and bright, wanting to convey to him the certainty you felt. You lightly tug on the bond connecting the two of you and he rubs his chest at the feeling.

It’s quiet as the snow falls outside, unaware of the monumental decision you had decided on once Eris’s letter had arrived earlier in the week. You had spent the past few months researching traditional autumn foods, preparing for this day. You had known for quite a while you were going to accept the bond, you just didn’t know when the two of you would have the chance to spend more than a few fleeting hours together. You had sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Mother when you received Eris’s letter, soft prayers echoing through your mind each night ensuring this would all work. 

“Is everything ready?”

His eyes peer into yours, a vulnerability he rarely lets anyone see, even you. His words come out soft and slightly timid, as if he’s worried he’ll scare you off.

“Yes, we just have to bring the food to the table.”

“May I help?” He doesn’t move towards the food, but one of his hands twitches, moving imperceptibly closer to you.

“I would appreciate that.”

It’s quiet as you two move to the food, grabbing platters and bowls to bring to the table. Once the table is full, a three course meal laid out in front of the two of you, the reality set in a bit. It wasn’t that you didn’t love Eris, but you were slightly concerned you were forcing his hand with this. 

This was always ‘someday’, but now it was here and you didn’t know how he truly felt about it. That was until he grabbed your plate, placing the still warm pita in front of you. You placed a piece of pita on his own plate, and he looked at the baba ganoush before him, its texture so unlike anything he had seen in Autumn. “What do I do?”

You ripped a piece of your pita off, dipping it into the bowl, grabbing some of the baba ganoush on it before offering it to him. He inspects the piece, before doing the same with his own piece of pita, bringing the piece to your mouth. 

“Eat. This might be the last time we’re rational enough for food.”

The two of you bite down on the pita, the warmth of the bread with the chill of the baba ganoush, the smoky, rich flavor exploding in your mouths. The room immediately shifted with the scent of your mixed arousals, but the two of you ignored it. His fingers lingered on your mouth, swiping at your lips before ripping off another piece of pita.

Heat was coursing through your veins, Eris’s emotions thrumming through you at a higher intensity. He felt electric in your veins.

You continue feeding each other until the pita’s gone and your attention shifts to the bouillabaisse. In similar fashion, the two of you poured the soup into the bowls with the bread before setting them down. You were thrumming, every part of you screamed to be closer to him, your thoughts having a background loop of mate, mate, mate.

“How did you know about bouillabaisse?”

Eris’s words send heat through you - his voice, soft and low, the actual words not registering with your insatiable need for him.

“Beg your pardon?”

His smirk is feline as he knows exactly why you didn’t hear him, but he repeats his question with no teasing.

“I um, found it a few months ago - I was in Dawn and a little restaurant served it.”

You could feel the sweat on your brow as you watched Eris’s fingers bring another spoonful to his mouth. You thought about all the things he could do with those fingers, that mouth, that tongue-

“Nobody in Dawn serves this. It is a regional dish, more specifically it is only found on the seaside of Autumn.”

Busted. 

You take another bite of the soup, the flavors so different from Night Court cuisine, but you weren’t complaining. Several of the fish in the soup were only found along the coast of Autumn and Winter, some making it as far north as Dawn.

“I may have perused some Autumn Court restaurants when I was visiting once.”

Eris stretches out the fingers of his hand, moving his long fingers in torturous preparation before placing his hand on your thigh. His touch was so warm, you began pulling at the collar of your dress to let the heat escape, biting your lip to keep the moan from escaping.

“When were you allowed in Autumn?”

“Fine,” your voice came out sharp, the room much too hot for an interrogation, “I snuck into Autumn a few months ago trying to find something to make you for this. I tried a bouillabaisse at this incredible little restaurant and I paid them an exorbitant amount of gold to teach me how to make it and to not tell anyone I was there. I slipped back in yesterday to pick up the fish in this soup.”

His fingers dance about on your thigh, and you take a quick glance down at his pants, your body growing warmer at his cock pressing across his pants, desperate to be released. You can’t move your eyes away from it - knowing how it looked, how it felt in your mouth, how it tasted - you were about to start drooling before Eris’s hand came up and closed your jaw.

“Strip.”

Eris’s words were a demand, full of power and need.

“But we still have dess-“

Your words died on your tongue as Eris began unbuttoning his shirt, your eyes caught on his lean chest, littered with freckles. You were in need, too, practically salivating at your mate’s display of his body, and you can’t quite remember why you wanted him to finish the whole meal.

He huffs over to you, his hands grabbing the fabric of your dress, ripping it in half down the middle. You gasp as the cold air meets your skin, somehow making your nipples even harder.

You stare at him wide eyed, even more aroused than before. At this point, you knew your panties were doing very little to keep your arousal from coating your thighs.

“You took too long,” he snarls, undoing the ties of his pants.

You had begun pulling the remnants of your dress off your shoulder, but stopped to watch your mate hook his thumbs into his trousers and pull them down, letting his cock free. 

You move forward, ready to jump on Eris, but his hand on your chest stops you, eliciting a whine from you. His other hand grabs the molten chocolate cake you had made, slowly lifting it out of the ramekin. He holds it delicately in his hand, the other hand on your chest moving up to your hair, tugging gently on the strands to pull you towards him.

Your chests were touching, the warmth of his body seeping into yours. He blazed with heat, his cock hard with need pressed into your stomach. His cheeks are dusted with pink and his blood was boiling inside of him, but he moved ever so slowly, his fingers meeting your chin. He looked into your eyes, the two of you the only beings in the world right now.

“My mate.”

Anything could be happening outside of the walls of this cabin. The snow could have all melted, a heat wave sending the Winter Court into chaos, and you wouldn’t know. All you would know was Eris’s gaze on you, mapping out every inch of your body so he can remember every detail correctly when he thinks about this once you two are apart. His thumb applied pressure on your chin, opening your mouth. He placed the cake in your mouth, whispering, “don’t bite, not yet.”

You moved your hands to his hips, holding onto him. One of his hands moves to help hold the cake up, his other holding onto your neck. He puts the other end of the small cake into his mouth and lightly tugs on the bond. You both bite into it, the liquid chocolate center immediately cascading down and coating both of your chests. You both make quick work of finishing the remainder of the cake, tearing and gnawing at the soft dessert until you finish it off. He catches your lips in a kiss, the taste of the chocolate a luxury on his tongue.

You jump, feet slipping slightly on the bits of chocolate that made it to the floor. Eris’s arms catch underneath your thighs, wrapping your legs around his hips. He lays you down on the table, moving his lips from your mouth, down the column of your throat, down your chest. You’re pulsing with need, desperate to feel any friction from him. You thrust your hips up, desperate to meet any feeling of him against you. His arm moves across your hips, pushing you down against the table. He shakes his head as he keeps kissing down your stomach, lifting his arm for a ring of fire to take its place around your waist.

He skips over where you want him, instead moving his head down to your thigh, licking up towards your hips. His tongue was hot as it slid up your inner thigh, lapping up the chocolate that had dripped down it. Your breathing was ragged as you felt his hot tongue growing closer and closer to you, and it felt like it was getting warmer the further it moved up your thigh. 

You looked down at him, his amber eyes that were full of heat all you can see of his face as his tongue finally slips between your folds. You moan at the contact, throwing your head back and hitting it harshly against the table. The pain didn’t register, not as Eris - your mate - was moving his tongue as if he knew every part of you, as if he knew exactly how you felt as he would warm and cool his tongue at his leisure. He lifted his mouth just an inch, his words slightly muffled by your body.

“You taste of desperation. It’s delicious.”

You moan at his words, and he flicks your clit with his tongue. His hands warm on your thighs, pressing them further apart. He slips his tongue back through your folds, your hands gripping onto his hair to keep his mouth on you. He grabs your legs, hoisting them over his shoulders before one of his hands disappears. You are writhing on the table, his grip on you lighting your skin on fire. The room grows heavier with the scent of his arousal, and you twitch your ears at the new sound in the room.

He was moaning into your pussy, the vibrations coursing through your body as you realized the hand that left you was wrapped around his cock, pumping furiously. The thought of him being so aroused at eating you out that he has to touch himself sends you over the edge, your thighs clenching over his ears as you finish on his tongue. Your breathing was heavy, and Eris’s tongue did not let up, lapping like a starved male. You pulled him up by his hair, bringing your face to his. Your tongue swipes into his mouth, tasting a combination of yourself and chocolate on his mouth. You grab his shoulders, deepening the kiss as you flip him onto his back, pressing him onto the table. His hands grip onto your hips, trying to push you onto him, desperate for any touch from you. He whimpers as you tug his hair, pulling him into you.

You place teasing bites as you move down his torso, leaving mark after mark in a line towards his happy trail. You purposefully rub your breasts against his cock, smiling up at him as he groans, your breath hot on his crotch.

You lick from underneath his shaft, your tongue slowly moving from the base to the tip before putting his cock completely in your mouth. He tasted like cinnamon with a little salt, the chocolate flavor on your tongue making him taste incredible. His hands move, gripping onto your hair as he chants your name - a prayer, a plea, you weren’t sure. Your hands wrapped around the base of his cock and his hips thrusted trying to push himself deeper into your mouth. 

You wanted to tease him about needing to touch himself while his mouth was on you, but you felt the same compulsions as you bobbed your head up and down on his cock. You resist the urge to move your fingers to yourself by digging your nails into Eris’s thighs, leaving half moon indents. His grip grew tighter on your hair, pushing your head down harder as he got closer to finishing, his moans filling the cabin as he finished, the hot taste of cinnamon filling your mouth and coating your throat as you swallow it. You pull your mouth off of him, his cock twitching again at the look you give him as you lick your lips.

He growled and you swiped your tongue up his still hard cock. He lunged for you, jumping off the table before his teeth sink onto your nipple, pulling the skin with his teeth. You gasp, pinching his nipple back in response. 

“Do you think there’s something there about eating to accept the bond and what we just did?”

You waggle your brows at him, but his eyes are a bottomless pit of black. Gone are the amber hues of fallen leaves, replaced by an endless void of hunger. You lean up to kiss him, the taste of both of you swirling between your tongues. You start walking backward, knocking into one of the chairs. He catches you, one arm hooking around your waist. 

His pointer finger moves up from your belly button to your neck, swiping up the chocolate left behind. He puts his finger in your mouth, having you suck the chocolate off. 

“Maybe we should get cleaned up.”

You smiled around his finger, swirling your tongue around it as you looked up at him from under your lashes. You nodded, taking his whole finger into your mouth. He breathes in deeply through his nose, his eyes swirling with desire before you. His other arm loops around your waist, carrying you through the cabin. Your giggles echoed down the hallway as Eris moved the two of you into the bathroom. He doesn’t set you down, shifting instead to hold you up against the wall with one arm while he turns the shower on. 

The water started cascading down the both of you, sweeping the remnants of the chocolate down the drain. Your feet hit the floor as Eris pushes the two of you forward, your back hitting the wall. The water fell over your face, making it hard to see him, but you could feel everything about him. You felt his skin on yours, your chests pushed together. You felt his emotions thrumming inside of you, bouncing everywhere, filling every available space. You had heard of the bond being accepted as an all-consuming thing, but you found any previous descriptions to be wholly inadequate. Every inch of you burned for him, thrumming with need to be near, to have him with you, to have him inside of you. 

He grabs the bar of soap from the shower, lathering it onto a wet washcloth before rubbing it against your body, rubbing the chocolate from both yours and his skin. 

“I never thought accepting the bond would be so messy.”

Eris’s hand guided the wash cloth across your shoulders, your sternum, before taking his time as he rubbed it against your breasts. His thigh slid between your legs, separating them. Lean muscle pressed against your cunt as you sank onto his thigh. His lips were on your mouth as you ground onto his thigh. He tossed aside the washcloth, his hands gripped your hips, harshly moving you against his thigh. 

“My beautiful, beautiful mate.” 

His voice was husky, echoing through the shower, further cementing that feeling he was everywhere.

“Gonna fall apart on my thigh?”

His lips move down your neck, teeth sinking into skin.

“We have all weekend for me to put every part of me to good use.”

You threw your head back, hitting the wall softly. One of Eris’s hands moves behind your head, cushioning the blow. His grip is unforgiving as he continues moving you, his thigh rubbing your clit so perfectly. Eris looked so beautiful before you, his pale skin a soft shade of pink from the heat radiating off of him. 

His irises have shrunk enough for you to see a slither of the amber you love so much. You could feel him thrumming in your chest and you swore if you looked down, the room would be alight with the gold tie between you two. You gripped his shoulders as he pressed his thigh into harder, sending you over the edge. 

You’re reeling from the orgasm, but Eris’s grip doesn’t let up. He uses his other leg to spread your legs again, and his hands move down to your ass, picking you up before sliding his cock into you. It feels right when he’s inside of you, the pounding in your head subsiding, the heat dissipating for just a moment before it was replaced with the need for more, more, more.

Your head moves across the tiled wall as Eris thrusts into you. You grip his hair, pulling his face to you again before kissing his mouth, needing to feel him everywhere. You’re all teeth as you nip and bite across his neck, up his jaw, on his earlobes. The shower does little to hide the whimper he lets out. 

His fingers grab your face, pulling you from his ear to his mouth. He kisses you hard and passionately before pulling out of you and turning you around. Your hands press into the wall as his hands roam down the sides of your body, sending chills throughout you.

One of his hands ran through your hair, wrapping it around his hand, the other wrapping around your waist, holding your back to his chest. The water streamed down the two of you, but you hardly noticed as he kissed your neck, pushing you against the wall.

You moan, pushing your ass against his cock. He growls as one of his hands traces from your hip down to your upper inner thigh, gripping tightly.

He bit your shoulder blade, pushing deeper inside of you. The pressure inside of you kept building, the water streaming across your skin growing hotter. Your blood was boiling, you weren’t sure where you stopped and Eris began. His thrusts became harder and more erratic, his fingers gripping so tightly you were sure they’d bruise. 

Eirs held you in an iron grip as he came inside of you, his release causing you to finish again. Arms braced against the wall as you panted heavily, Eris softly pulled himself out of you. His hands rubbed down your arms, and you stood up straighter, albeit on shaky legs. His eyes were roaming your body, looking over all the marks leftover from your tryst. The two of you were no strangers to rougher sex - most of the time you two were only able to satiate each other against a tree for mother’s sake. The tiles were no concern to you, but you knew Eris felt something deeper within him, guilt perhaps at how little control he had and the marks a reminder of that. Having a bond was new, but accepting the bond was utter chaos. A thousand emotions rattled through you, unsure of who they truly belonged to the most dominant ones were to protect and to fuck.

Eris slipped his arm out of the shower, his head going with it. You took the moment to gaze down at his ass, the little freckles scattered across it gave you the urge to bite the plump flesh. He came back in fully with a washcloth, and your gaze softened. You reach out, grabbing his wrist to stop him.

“Er, I don’t care, we’ll probably be going at it again in twenty minutes.”

Despite your protests, he broke free of the loose grip you had on him. He brought the cloth up under the water, letting it get properly drenched. 

“I know.” 

He moved the washcloth down between your legs, his touch impossibly gentle compared with the male who was gripping your hips hard enough to bruise moments ago.

“We’ve just never gotten to have this part before.”

You think back to all the times you two have met - in the woods, in secure cabins, in closets to find that he was right. Every moment alone the two of you had counted, and neither of you were ever able to linger for long after sex. 

Another thing the secrecy cost the both of you.

He looked to you, asking silent permission, and you nod. He moved the washcloth, cleaning the remnants of himself off of you. He rinsed the washcloth again before moving it across your skin - your stomach, your shoulders, your arms. He lingered, taking the time to clean every inch of you. He laughed, pointing out you still had some chocolate behind your ear. Once he finished, he reached to turn off the shower, but your hand stopped his. 

His eyes are assessing as you slowly grab the washcloth from him, your own eyes reflecting his previous question. He nods, and you start your own work of cleaning him. Your eyes trail his body, taking in how vulnerable he is in this moment. You hummed softly, the tune of some song you can’t recall the name of. The sound makes some of the emotions inside of you die down a bit, replaced by a calmer feeling. Eris tips his head down as you wipe at his back, the scars there almost mirrors of your own.

The cloth moves down him, but you stop to kiss a few of the scars on his upper back. Once you’re done, you drop the washcloth on the floor, wrapping your arms around his torso. Eris’s hand reaches out, shutting off the shower, but not making any indication he wants to move. 

Eris’s love sitting inside of you felt different to the love you felt for him - synonyms, perhaps. But not quite the same.

After several minutes, you grabbed some towels from the cabinets, offering one to Eris. He slings it around his hips lazily, lifting you into his arms. You had barely wrapped yourself in the towel before he scooped you up.

The two of you land on the bed, decadent in shades of blue across the massive sea of blankets and pillows. The only reminder that neither of you were in your home courts. Eris taps your chest, the reminder you felt about having to leave him leaking over to his side of the bond.

You two settle on the pillows, discarding your towels to lay beneath the large duvet. You climbed on top of him, settling on his chest. His cock grew hard again, and you moved so you could settle with him inside of you. 

You traced your fingers over his freckles, connecting them with your finger. “I can make constellations out of them,” you tell him. 

The roar has subsided enough for you to feel like a person again rather than a beast. You know it’ll come back, in minutes or seconds you weren’t sure, but you wanted to spend whatever time with him like this that you could.

Eris thrusts softly inside of you, watching your eyes look for patterns in the freckles across his cheeks.

“Perhaps you can make me a constellation that will always lead me to you.”

You chuckle, leaning forward to kiss him softly. Your mate. You feel the pit inside of you start to roar, but you swallow it down, opting instead to search inside of yourself, finding that golden thread tethering you to him, and pulling.

“It appears I already have.”

He flips the two of you, laying you on your back as he slowly puts himself inside of you again. He fills you up completely, reaching the base of his cock before stopping and just staying there. 

“Mm, Eris.”

He smiles, his arms landing on each side of your face, caging you in. He moves a few strands of hair out of your face, his thumb stroking your cheek.

He smiles down at you, his freckles dancing across his face, the sunlight illuminating his hair to look as if it were made of flame.

His fingers tangle in your hair, lightly holding on. 

“You are everything to me.” 

His voice comes out soft and slightly shaky, as if the admission were almost painful. He began thrusting slowly, but this felt different. Anyone who had ever thought Eris Vanserra incapable of being soft should see him now.

“I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

His thrusts became faster with each word, but not harsher. 

“I will always take care of you.”

Your fingers grip his shoulders, your thumb softly rubbing the skin.

“And I you.”

You were reaching that peak again, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t feral, the need to satiate the physicality of the bond, but rather to remind yourself that you two were bound together, forever.

“I love you, mate.”

His words have you seeing stars, and you practically feel yourself leave your body, but you hear yourself say, “and I love you,” as Eris finishes inside of you.

He collapses on you, his cock still inside of you. You both are breathing heavily, unable to get enough air into your lungs. He collapses on top of you, his arms digging beneath you to wrap you in an embrace. 

No touch was enough, even as you wrapped your own arms around him, peppering kisses into the side of his head. The two of you lay there, eventually Eris peaks his head out from your neck to watch the snow fall outside the window. You think about the many lives you could lead with Eris Vanserra - how much simpler your lives could be if you were born of different circumstances. 

But those Erises wouldn’t be the one laying on top of you now. They wouldn’t have as sharp of a tongue as he does, or perhaps their noses wouldn’t slant the same way his does. You could lead a thousand lifetimes with a thousand Erises, each one different from the next. Your thumb grazes his cheek, deciding that easy was never meant for you. It was never meant for Eris, either.

In those thousand lifetimes, the only edge they have on this one is the ability for you two to be more free about your love. 

You wouldn’t have to return to your respective homes, glamouring the scent of your mating bond from those around you in a bid to mitigate the unwanted comments from those around either of you. Beron would be excited, an intercourt mating would come with tremendous benefits for him. Rhysand would be pissed, your entire family shocked at the secret, unable to bite their tongues from disrespecting your mate with the twisted truths.

Secrets can only last for so long. They all get spoken at some point, and one day everyone will know how you have been carrying Eris’s love for years, how it has carried you for much longer than you thought, and how it will still carry you wherever you need to go.

Even when it’s in the opposite direction of him.

Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @topaz125 @chessebookgirl @fides25 @lady-of-tearshed @ashbatz @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @justvibbinghere @daughterofthemoons-stuff @mybestfriendmademe @heartless-tate @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry @olive-main @azrielsmate3 @pit-and-the-pen @durgenyx

Eris taglist: @secret-third-thing

Thanks for reading 💕

#gingerfucker #acotar fanfiction #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra #eris x reader #eris acotar #eris x you #eris x y/n #eris vanserra fanfic #eris vanserra smut #eris vanserra x you

[pinkhoodi]

bat dads or girl dads ? girl dads !

✎ᝰ — bat boys as girl dads !

♡⃕ — bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd x reader

♡⃕ — genre + warnings: fluff + children ??

♡⃕ — a/n: dick as a father would make me- nvm that !

꒰ BRUCE WAYNE ꒱

Ꮺ “no” rarely exists and he realized that a while ago. when his beautiful daughter was first born, he would be stern (still loving) and make sure to deny any of his daughter’s requests. as years go and his daughter gets older, it becomes harder to say no to his precious child

Ꮺ he won’t admit it but it’s something about her adorable features that make it harder and harder to say no. even if it’s the most wildest request, he’ll try to accomplish it or tell her “I’ll think about it”. the cute pout, the ways her eyes widen, and her adorable going please please please dad. how can he say no :(

Ꮺ BUT if he can’t obtain that request, his favorite excuse is “I’ll think about it”. even when his daughter catches onto his games, he’ll continue use it and just throw on an extra lie to help out

Ꮺ bruce is the dilf that everyone flirts with and it’s exhausting for him. he tries to avoid pta meetings at all costs but can’t cause his daughter loves those meetings. while the women flirt, the daughter gets free cookies ;p

Ꮺ this man bruce is studying long and gruesome hours on how to raise a girl. raising his eldest son at ten years old is the closest thing he had and it wasn’t helping. prepare yourself for the “am I doing this right?” “is this good for her?” “are you sure this is what we should give her?”

Ꮺ surprisingly, he became quickly accustomed to his bat cave and his office being glittered and glammed. the buttons on the monitor have stickers and his batmobile having a bow on it

Ꮺ learning from his mistakes from his other children, he will try to leave little to no detail about his night activities to his daughter. she knows about the bat cave (due to exploring and being bored in the mansion) but he refuses to take her on missions and don’t allow her to be in the bat cave if the mission is extremely dangerous

Ꮺ daddy-daughter days is something bruce prioritizes! he doesn’t care what is planned before or after that, he’ll make one day every month to spend time with his daughter. whether it be going to the mall, the movies, spending the day at a kids play center, or even napping. that day in his calendar is meant for his daughter and his daughter only

꒰ JASON TODD ꒱

Ꮺ the most laidback father you could ever meet BUT he knows when it’s time to be concerning and when it’s time to be the fun dad

Ꮺ the man almost passed out when his gorgeous daughter was born. he couldn’t take how adorable his lil girl was in the room, he had to step out and started crying. he couldn’t believe he’s a father now :(

Ꮺ it does take jason time to adjust being a father. his patience isn’t the best but he is learning ! he tries as much as he can to unpack all his bad qualities and become better for his daughter before she was born

Ꮺ as much as he is laidback, he is also very cautious and makes sure to have all his weapons away and locked up from his daughter. he refuses to let ANY incident happen just cause he was being careless

Ꮺ he is one to always allow his daughter to decorate his face, no matter how ridiculous he looks. he’ll gladly pose with stickers on his eyelids, three bows on his head and one tied on his wrist, and heart glasses on if it makes his daughter happy

Ꮺ his daughter is lowkey his mood maker. he won’t admit but however his daughter feels is how HE feels. but he won’t take it out on her, absolutely not ! if she’s grumpy, he’s grumpy with her. she’s hungry ? he’s hungry as well. even if he’s feeling fine, he’ll play along with her so she can get what she want from YOU (mischievous mfs mmcht)

꒰ DICK GRAYSON ꒱

Ꮺ the most girliest dads of all girl dads <333. he’s there for any and everything and is NEVER one to say no to his dad. though sometimes he doesn’t realize when to be a disciplined dad and a fun dad

Ꮺ he’ll make sure to never, and I mean never, have his daughter follow into the life that he is in. as much he enjoys saving gotham and bludhaven, he refuses to let his daughter lead into a life of danger and being unsure of whether or not he’ll be home soon

Ꮺ he has an endless amount of pics of him and his daughter. his lockscreen is you and him holding her at six months old, his homescreen being his daughter at one years old, and even his voicemail is him and his daughter saying hi and sorry to miss your call

Ꮺ being a dad is something dick cherishes so much and he’ll gift everything his child wants and more. he’ll do any and everything to have his daughter be happy, even if he can’t get it

Ꮺ between him and his daughter, the exchanges of “I love you dad” and “I love you more” happen more on his side. many “I love yous” as the two of them giggle and he kisses her forehead. they’re so cute :(

Ꮺ unlike bruce, he loves going to pta meetings. he does get uncomfortable with the flirting from other moms but he’s really only there for the free treats and how to better improve his daughter’s education

Ꮺ the biggest gift giving dad as well ! he likes coming home with a surprise in his hand and hearing his daughter gasp and smile at the gift in his hand. it warms his heart when she says thank you and hugs his leg tightly, nearly squeezing it with the gift in her hand

Ꮺ the two nap a lot together. it’s one of dick’s favorite pastime when he’s relaxing with crime fighting

♡⃕ the bat boys as girl dads ☹️🫶🏽. it would be uber cute seeing jason walk into his helmet decorated in barbie stickers

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: 2 thessalonians 3:3

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦 𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽𝗂. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

#⁎˚ ໒ 🎧🫧 ( a piece from mia ) ˚ ⁎ #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne x fem!reader #bruce wayne fluff #bruce wayne x black!reader #bruce Wayne x black reader #bruce wayne headcanon #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x reader #jason todd x black reader #jason todd x black!reader #jason todd fluff #jason todd headcanon #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x black reader #dick grayson x black!reader #dick grayson fluff #dick grayson headcanon

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Alright, here we go

First and foremost I want to talk about what flying bark's animation has meant to me.

In a world where every day I see 2d animation being rejected for cheaper 3d and puppet animation at every turn, Monkie Kid's animation was the one of the first things that gave me hope for the future of 2D animation. I can't tell you how long I've been wanting a 2D animated show, growing up I wanted one so desperately, I craved good animation amongst the stiff 3D and flat storytelling, so when I got it, when Monkie Kid happened, I was so unbelievably happy. It was everything I wanted in a show, gorgeous animation, excellent voice actors, romance free and friendly to my desperate friendship-craving, romance-overstimulated brain and written in a way I enjoyed so much. I struggle to describe exactly how much I’ve adored everything this show has been up until this point. It truly is a masterpiece.

Monkie kid has kept me company during the lowest and roughest points in my life. I got to such a bad place mentally but Monkie Kid’s fast-paced, snappy, detailed, colourful bright animation brought light into my darkest mental times and not only helped me stay connected with people but kept me creating even when I wanted nothing more than to lay on the floor and never move again. I'm aware most of the flying bark team is active on the bird app and none of them are gonna see this most likely but I still just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much for animating this show, thank you so much for giving it your all. Thank you so much for giving me something I’ve always wanted so perfectly. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for keeping me company at my lowest, thank you for sharing your joy of animation so I could catch some of those rays of sunlight and feel a little of that joy too. Thank you for your positivity and good vibes, thank you. 

I know so many people have gotten inspiration from flying bark and I have to add myself to the infinite list. My art has improved so much thanks to their inspiration. My style has developed, I’ve had so much fun, I’ve written some of my favorite works ever based off of expressions that the characters make alone. My last amv I made because I was so grateful for the animation that we'd gotten up to that point. I wanted to showcase, to thank, to appreciate. I didn’t know it would be a goodbye. Words can't describe all that flying bark's animation and even their storyboards have done for me. When nothing could make me happy, monkie kid wormed its way into my brain and somehow kept me in one piece. I know that wouldn’t have been possible without the animation that left me at the edge of my seat, breathless and laughing over how incredible it really was every single time. Every new clip, every new episode I’d pause and rewatch again, I’d rewatch over and over, I’d take screenshots of every goofy background character, I’d screenshot every expression I could, I’d go through episodes frame-by-frame, literally one at a time for hours on end just so i could catch every detail, I’d open my eyes wider and wider to try and take in every bit I could in a way I’ve never been able to do before because there is nothing else out there like monkie kid. There was nothing as fun and as joyful as every single frame that flying bark gave us. And I am going to miss that so much.

The fact that season 4 was a sendoff is so heartbreaking to me, it's hard to describe how devastated I feel knowing something that kept hold of my hand when I was facing hard hard things in my life is suddenly gone. I don’t know how to ever express how important this show has been to me, it’s kept me going and helped me get to a place where I could breathe again. It’s connected me with some of the greatest people I know. It’s given me incredible experiences, introduced me to what animation could be and I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt having to say goodbye so suddenly. 

I know this isn’t the end of Monkie Kid as a show. I know season 5 is still coming. And I also know Monkie Kid has lost a huge part of what made it unique and special, a huge part of its heart and soul. Without flying bark it feels like half the show is missing and although I hope I can still support the show, no one can deny the cavern-sized hole that is left by flying bark’s absence in it. The animation team has such an incredibly positive atmosphere around them that just absolutely radiates from the things they create. I am going to miss that so desperately in monkie kid. I’m going to support every other show flying bark works on, I’m still going to love their animation wherever it goes, but I am going to miss it in monkie kid like nothing else I’ve ever missed.

I do have some other thoughts regarding the new changes in monkie kid but I wanted to keep that separate from the actual farewell, so that’ll be it’s own post and I just want to end this by saying thanks for everything Flying Bark you’ve been a real one. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re already being missed so hard it hurts. Keep those good vibes and keep up what you’re doing. You all really are incredible and an inspiration to artists everywhere. We love this show because of the voice actors, because of the writers, because of the music but a great deal of people loved this show because of you. You’ve inspired a community of artists, you’ve inspired me. Thank you flying bark for everything you've given us, you gave it your all and I’m gonna carry the impact you left on me for the rest of my life. 

LOVE YOU FLYING BARK. Here's to a bright future. Thanks for everything <3 

#knox rambles #long post #monkie kid #flying bark #gods ima miss them #ive never cared about an animation studio so much in my LIFE #good people will do that to ya #face in hands bro #im a fundamentally different person because of these guys #ough #lego monkie kid #its gonna take me a bit to recover from this one bois

[daydreams-after-dark]

How skz react to you wearing a butt plug

You know I’m obsessed with anal play over here, so why not do a little piece on how each member of skz reacts to you popping on all fours and wriggling your ass until they can’t help but peel your cozy sweatpants down.

Jisung: He’s immediately hard. He was hard the minute you came over his house. But as soon as he sees the little silver handle poking out of you, he knows he has to be inside you. “Baby, I gotta fuck you.” He growls low, and he’s immediately pressing his cock against your vagina. “So needy, need Sungie to fuck you, hmmm?” He says in his husky bedroom voice. You are needy and you start to fuck yourself hard by pushing back against him, until your both coming hard, whimpering and moaning loudly the entire time.

Minho: “What you tryna do, wriggling you ass like that, hmm?” He grabs the waistband of your sweats and yanks them down aggressively. He smirks when he sees the little metal handle poking between the delicious globes of your asscheeks. “Kitten wants to be fucked, does she?” He muses. “Ngh..please..play with me, Min?” You purr. “Tsk. Well, I’m not sure you deserve to be fucked.” He tugs at the plug to watch it slowly stretch the ring of muscle, the let it suck back in. “At least not right away.” He teases you with the plug for twenty minutes, watching how your empty, desperate cunt leaks.

Seungmin: He looks up from his phone seeing you’re trying to entice him. “Puppy wants to be fucked, I see.” It’s not a question. It’s a statement. He gets on his knees and pulls his own sweats down, pumping his hardening length. He tugs your pants down and immediately scoffs. “Such a fucking slut. Came over here with that thing lodged up your ass.” He shakes his head. “Bad little bitch.” He growls. He removes the plug and yanks your pants back up, and goes back to what he was doing on his phone. Later he teases your hole with the plug while he fucks you good and deep, just the way you like, whispering how much he loves you.

Felix: I always write Felix as a fan of anal plugs. I just feel he’s kinky like that. So when your ass is revealed to him, he immediately smirks and pokes his tongue into the side of his cheeks. It’s like Christmas has come. You’ve even worn a plug with a cute dangly charm you know he’ll like. He settles himself behind you and rubs his length up and down through your folds. Then pulls away, making your whimper. “This is so pretty, love.” He plays with the little charm. “Please…Lix… you gotta fill me up.” You plead. “Okay, love….but you’re gonna ride me reverse so I can see this pretty little plug while you bounce on me.” He lays down, pulling you with him, then lining himself up.

Changbin: He’s a little more reserved than you, and when you reveal to him your your little butt plug, he is surprised. Surprised and very hard. “Bunny, did you put this in yourself?” His fingers ghost over the handle, and he has images of fucking your ass. Will you let him? “Tell me what you need me to do, bunny.” He whispers as he leans down to lap at your pussy. “Tell me exactly what you need Binnie to do.” He squeezes three thick fingers into your pussy while he sucks on your clit. “Binnie can fill you up good…make it all better. Will you let me fuck your ass?”

Jeongin: He loves it when you’re being a slut. Just the thought that you had prepared yourself for his cock has him going from cute, respectable boyfriend to unhinged maniac in 0.3 seconds. As soon as he sees the plug, his long fingers are inside your pussy and he’s popping the plug out of you with his free hand. Man’s so crazy he makes you put it in your mouth “to keep you quiet while I fuck that tight little hole.” A squirting of lube and he’s inching himself into your ass. “You feel how deep I am? You’re gonna feel me for days. I know you like it when I treat you like a little cockslut.” He digs his fingers into your hips as he loses control, knocking the breath from your lungs.

Chan: He internally gushes when he slowly peels your sweats down. “Good girl, wearing this for daddy. Just like I instructed.” He slaps your ass. He takes his time hovering behind you, spreading your cheeks and testing the plug is secure. “Pefect.” He praises. Next, he inspects your cunt, checking how wet you are. “Babygirl’s creamy today.” He notes, gathering some on his finger. “Taste.” He reaches around to push his digit in your mouth. “I think you deserve a reward from daddy. Wanna feel your reward, sweetheart?” You nod vigorously. “Yes…daddy…please.” You beg. Then you feel it. Your large vibrator (the one with the clit stimulator) being pushed into your needy cunt. He sets it on high, and tortures your poor pussy for what feels like hours until you’re a shaking mess.

Hyunjin: Delighted by your experimental side, Hyunjin is immediately compelled to tie your hands behind your back with soft velvet rope, and take a few pictures of you. He moves you about wanting to see how little plug handle looks in various poses. He mutters under his breath as he pumps his cock, happy to masturbate to how erotic you look right now. “Jinnie?” You eventually whine. “Please touch me.” You beg. You need his cock so bad. He’s teased you for hours. Silently, he positions himself behind you and sinks into your pussy with one fluid motion. Taking hold of your roped hands, he pulls you up so your back creates a pretty curve, and fucks into you hard. The angle has you seeing stars in no time. He finishes himself off by removing the plug and cumming on your sweet little hole. “Fuck, I gotta take a picture of that.” He growls.

Permanent Tag List : open

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @kangnina @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @chuuchuu1224 @fun-fanfics @wolfennracha @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy

#skz smut #skz hard thoughts #after dark hard thoughts #chan smut #Minho smut #Hyunjin smut #Changbin smut #Felix smut #Seungmin smut #Han jisung smut #jeongin smut

[the-modern-typewriter]

Peace, Love and...

The ropes were numerous, and painstakingly knotted to form an intricate spiderweb which stretched between two pillars on the left hand side of the room.

Cai hung in the web’s centre.

The golden thread wound around what felt like every inch of his body, pinning his arms and legs spread-eagled, curling firmly around his torso to hold him as secure and as thoroughly stuck as any good spider’s prey. His toes touched the floor only precariously to help hold him steady.

Every tug, every waver, every twitch of movement caused the small silver bells hooked to the web to chime softly.

The trick was to be as still, as quiet, as possible.

Nonetheless.

The bells chimed.

It had been less than five minutes.

Adam lounged on the sofa not far away, a whip dangling insouciantly from one hand, a book in the other. He was the picture of idle, entirely too lovely, cruelty – something that the Greek’s would have carved and marvelled at.

At the chime, his attention cut up, and his hand lashed out with wicked speed and wickeder precision.

Cai bit down hard on his lip, jolting on instinct at the hot sting of pain on his thigh. The bells chimed again.

Adam grinned, feral. His fingertips caressed the whip’s handle in a way that he had many times caressed the curve of Cai’s skin, his cheek, the bow of his lip. His gaze roamed over Cai like he was considering the next place to strike, in retaliation of that sound.  

“That’s not fair,” Cai gasped. “You have to let me adjust. Nobody holds still when they’re hit!”

“I’m sorry,” Adam replied, “at which point did I promise you fairness? Love, most certainly, war – of a sort, perhaps. But fairness?”

He landed another blow, a third, and then seemed to take pity.

“Fairness,” Adam settled back down, “was never especially on the agenda. Stillness is. You’re the one who wanted to work on being mindful, I am merely supporting you in your goals like a dutiful husband.”

“I suggested we try meditation!”

“My voice is music. I am your guide.”

Adam’s voice had turned dry at the words, and Cai just managed to catch himself before he snorted with laughter. Laughter really wouldn’t help his predicament. He watched the way that Adam’s fingers moved over the whip handle again, quite happily awaiting any opportunity, guessing at that laughter. His stare was fixed on Cai, intent, nowhere near as careless as his posture.

The urge to laugh faded out. He just as quickly wanted to shiver, with a pleased sort of anticipation. He knew that stare.

Cai swallowed. He stilled himself once more, and thought that Adam might have a point. Not about his voice being music, exactly, however partial Cai was to the cadences of his husband’s tone, but…  

“I think I have an idea,” Adam said, with a tone of relenting somewhat, or at least of shifting gears. “Hold still now.” He discarded the book and got up from his seat, crossing the room and returning with a blindfold. He placed it over Cai’s eyes, knotting it tight with deft movements. “There. No distractions.” Adam’s lips were hot, and very distracting, by his ear. “Say thank you.”

“Are you actually planning to top me into meditation?”

“Meditation is just subspace for vanilla people. Hush, that’s an order. Bratting does not equal mindfulness, it makes you too busy thinking how you can beat me. You can’t.”

Cai’s mouth snapped shut.  

Adam didn’t take that particular tone with him very often, but when he did…there really was something about that voice.

“Good,” Adam murmured. “Now…” he heard Adam’s footsteps move back to the sofa. “Listen.”

Cai had lost count of the number of times, of ways, that Adam had tied him up. Sometimes, it was because Cai wanted to feel restrained, other times because Adam wanted the feeling of having someone at his mercy. It was always because of the aesthetic, and, today, it was supposedly because of the calm.

Supposedly.

The act of being bound was calming, the act of being whipped was not. But wasn’t that Adam all over? He had a weakness for irony, the juxtaposition of contrasting elements, for the artistry of it all. It was one of the many things that Cai loved about him; he always managed to do the unexpected in some small way, even after all of their years together.

“Focus on the feeling of the rope,” Adam said, as steady as metronome, low and impossible to ignore. “On your breath, on holding still for me. That’s all I expect from you. Art is seen and not heard.”

Cai focused on the feeling of the rope, on his breath, on the effort it took to hold himself still. The muscles in his calves burned. It was, in its way, actually quite meditative.

The ropes today had been picked because they were silken; strong, but soft upon Cai’s skin. They were easy to focus on.

The point of the calming kind of meditation, at least from Cai’s reading, was to focus one’s body on specific sounds, or objects, or sensations, in order to cultivate a peaceful mind and an enhanced state of concentration. That was what he’d told Adam. Apparently, between his eye rolls, Adam had payed attention.

“You are not going anywhere,” Adam said. “You are safe, I’ve got you.”

There was simply the rope, the chimes, the whip. 

And, as always, there was him.

***

“Cai.”

Adam’s fingers were careful brushing his face, undoing the blindfold, letting the light of the world with all of its distractions seep back in.

“Cai.”

Cai opened his eyes, a little dazed, and certainly peaceful. He had lost track of time or at least stopped counting it. It had taken him a while to figure out how to hold still, to let go of the restless needs of the day and life, but once he was tied up there wasn’t really much a guy could do. Just like Adam said. Listening to his voice, his breath, it had been easy.

Adam stood in front of him, and Cai wasn’t entirely sure when he’d moved. His expression was one of a fond sort of amusement. “Are you still with me?” Adam asked. “Or have you found yogic bliss?”

Cai nodded.

“Oh, so yogic bliss?”

“You’re hilarious,” Cai said, without bite. “I’m with you. Always am.”

“Good,” Adam said, still watching him. A softer smile had crossed his lips. “You went very quiet. Very still.”

“Wasn’t that the point?”

“I didn’t expect it to be that effective - I was planning to torment you mercilessly. It would have been very cathartic.”

Cai simply gave a peaceful sort of hum and Adam laughed, quietly, shaking his head. He’d abandoned the whip, and his seeming initial plans, on the sofa. He reached up to check the ropes around Cai’s hands, going through the practiced motions of making sure Cai still had all the right circulation in his fingers.

“Are you ready to come down?” he asked.

Cai shook his head.

Adam laughed again.

“I suppose I could keep you up there like an exhibition piece.” He stroked his fingers down along Cai’s chest. “You’re rather calming to look at like this. Can’t get into any trouble.”

“I am the height of zen, I never get myself in trouble.”

“Uh-huh. I’m taking you down now. Come here.”

Soon enough, Cai’s feet were firmly planted on the floor once more, and Adam’s arm was wrapped firmly around his torso to hold him secure. The rest of the ropes fell away. Cai led him over to the sofa and they sprawled there for a while.

“So,” Cai said eventually. “If I suggest that we try couple’s yoga…?”

Adam’s fingers wound in his hair, tugging his head back to contort his spine, and kissed Cai’s cheek.

“I’m sure I’ll think of something much more fun.”

It was, to neither of their surprise, much more entertaining.

#hmm I'm probably going to regret sharing this #I could just let it rot on my computer forever #maybe to delete #anyway #for those of you who liked escapology and half sick of shadows and my love is like a red red rose #this was written at the same time in mentally the same collection #i have one more in this series which is f/f #decisions decisions #m/m #gay

[ham1lton]

you said u read ao3 fics! what are your f1 recs?

ahhh!!!!! this is the best question you could have ever asked me like ever i love you so much. i’ve been dying to talk abt this for a hot minute. i opened myself up to any sort of ship mostly because i cared more abt the fic quality then the ship you know? kinda glad i did it because my fav ones are not necessarily ships i am a fan of. it’s really long so i put it under a read more!!

okay so number one has to be the fic that was my first fav f1 fic. this is steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it). now this has a lot of elements that i love. guy who’s in his own head vs other guy who’s also in his own head but pretends he isn’t. also idk why but i’m always a sucker for a good medical au and this one fucking delivers!!! another maxiel fic i read was three rounds and a sound which has coffee shop owner daniel w/ stressed out student max. a lot of introspection but it’s also unfolding while the romance is. idk i just love this. it’s so good. last maxiel fic is come on, star boy which is a alt universe where daniel is the american guy he always wanted to be and max is the new transfer to his small town’s football team. it isn’t just incredibly written but everyone feels so real and vivid. i can visually see this in my mind everytime i read it. i listened to a lot of ethel cain while reading so that helped. i love this so much and the brocedes in the background?? you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves youuu 🗣️

i’m not really a landoscar girl, i’m gonna be honest. however, where i am going is right where i am, is just incredible. alt universe where the drivers live on a street version of stars hollow? brocedes that influence everything even though they’re long over? charles being insane over max? pierre hating on esteban every second that is possible (i was laughing every time he would just cuss his ass out unprovoked) and annoying george being their street’s version of gilmore girls’ taylor?? what more do u need in ur life?? also oscar in this fic is just my dream man. i think a croissant from him would fix me. actually i read a lot of this author’s landoscar fics and they’re so cute i was sending kudos as much as i can. like almost home! just want to bite them both and put them in my pocket. they’re so obviously in love i want to shake them down and scream and smoosh them together. lawyer!oscar i love you. check out their profile!! incredible writer :)))

i’m also not a galex truther but the two of us, in sympathy is so cute!! rich boy!george with broke junior doctor!alex. george attempting to court alex and just absolutely failing. i love it. they’re such a mess i need them in my life. also this loscar future fic is so intense but incredible. i’m really bad at describing but i binged it on my train home and i was really glad i did - i promised to forget you now.

the reason i even got into f1 aka brocedes. this fic i think was one of the first i read. on the faultline which is just amazing. i can’t recommend it enough. read it if u can. another fav is a brocedes threesome with their toxic fucking each other via proxy aka new money, and it’s all cash. cute brocedes!! nico thinks lewis is his sworn enemy but everyone knows otherwise. roseberg’s vs haminkton. this was so cute and funny. cause why was nico saying lewis, the owner of a tattoo shop was stealing business from him… when he owns a florists… he’s so dramatic i want to tuck him in my pocket. this job will take my sole has the same premise but they’re both shoe shops which makes a lot more sense. i just love stupid rivalries and dramatic nico.

now back to my sweethearts, the lights of my life, the fires of my heart - sewis. all of these fics have past brocedes just for context. every tongue should confess talks about religion and queer identity in such a nuanced and delicate way? i adored this fic. transmotion which is another alt universe with fashion designer!lewis and footballer!sebastian both figuring out their careers, themselves and their relationship. maybe together we can get somewhere - this is an mpreg fic which usually isn’t for me but it’s about seb and lewis going on a road trip for an abortion and it’s so good. honestly the ending line of ‘it’s a good feeling, to know that sebastian’s outstretched hand is right there.’ it just stuck with me. i loved it. the numbering at bethlehem which is thee sewis fic to me. professor au?? this was made for me. like perfectly moulded. everything about this is art. i could do a full essay on this fic. just read it, it’s incredible. just amazing. sebastian as the child prodigy who has nowhere else to climb?? i love them both in this fic so much!!! tnab sewis get behind me!! i’m gonna protect u!!

okay i’m sorry this is so long. i just love art. i love writing. i just love the work these authors’ have spent putting together these masterpieces for free!! check them out!! leave kudos!! comment!! <3

#im always open to new recs!!! :D #and if u read these and wanna chat abt any - my asks are always open :D #ao3 fic recs #sewis #maxiel #landoscar #brocedes #anon ask

[babygirlbenji]

Prince Charming - Mason Mount

a/n i feel like i've used this gif before but i do not care! i'm off to a wedding so wanted to get this out! enjoy mwah <3

summary: just some fluff with mason and reader who is sick!

You hated being sick. 

The cough that had been racking your body for the last few days had reduced you to talking in croaky whispers, your whole body ached, you had no energy and all you could do if you weren’t sleeping was watching repeats of Friends. 

What made it even worse was that Mason wasn’t there to look after you and give you the love you so desperately needed to heal. He was in Manchester and you were stuck in London. To add insult to injury, you had planned to take the train up to the north west to see him and watch his game against Liverpool. You’d had to message him the day before, saying you weren’t going to be able to come up. He wanted nothing more than to look after his girl, but Ten Hag had been adamant that Mason would at least be on the bench for the game, if not in the starting lineup. 

It was just an all round bad situation. A long distance relationship was not necessarily what you signed up for, but you loved Mason more than anything in the world. You were both determined to make it work. 

On Friday night, you were tapping through your Instagram stories, looking at all your friends going out and celebrating the end of the working week. You sighed, which obviously turned into a coughing fit. With nothing else to do, you turned off the lights and curled up in bed, hoping that by morning, you would feel better and be able to watch Mason play. 

Or at least that was your plan. This plan was scuppered by your phone lighting up with Mason’s picture as he rang for a FaceTime. You shoved a hoodie on and ran your fingers through your hair in the hopes it would make you a little bit more presentable, before flicking the lamp by your bed on so you could speak to him. 

‘H-Hello,’ you croaked. His face was slightly pixelated through the dodgy WiFi in the hotel he was staying in, but he still managed to look like he’d walked off a Vogue shoot. Damn him, you thought to yourself. 

‘Hey sweet thing, how are you doing?’ Just the sound of his voice was enough to perk you up a bit, and you sat up. 

‘I’m… I’m okay, just tired and got this stupid bloody cold that’s had me bed bound the last two days. How are you?’ You could barely stifle the yawn that crept out of your mouth without any warning. 

‘Oh darling, I’m okay, just called because I’m worried about you, I’ve hardly heard from you the last couple of days and wanted to check in.’ Your heart swelled. You’d been together over two years, but he was still finding ways to make your dreams come true. He really was your Prince Charming. ‘I won’t keep you long as I know you’re sick, just wanted to say I love you and I miss you.’ 

The emotions you’d been feeling over the last couple of days boiled over, and your face crumpled as tears leaked from your eyes. 

‘I really, really miss you, Mase,’ you sobbed. ‘I feel awful, I can’t do any work, I haven’t seen you in like a fortnight, everyone’s going out and enjoying the sun while I’m stuck here on my own with not even Ben or Reece to keep me company as they’re in Timbuktu or something.’ Mason couldn’t help but chuckle at your melodramatics; Ben and Reece were not in Timbuktu, they were in fact in Southampton for their away game. He didn’t have the heart to mention this, though. 

‘I’m sorry, baby, I really am, I wish I could be there to help. Just focus on resting and getting better, okay? I’ll be with you as soon as I’ve finished this game, I promise.’ You sighed. You knew he couldn’t help being a professional footballer, and he loved playing with United, but you couldn’t help but feel like part of your soul went wherever he went. 

You chatted a bit more, or rather, he chatted while you listened to him, before he bade you goodnight and you were once again left with nothing but the sound of your fan blowing cool air on you to stop your fever spiking too high. It wasn’t long before your cold and cough medication kicked in, and you were out like a light. 

*

You awoke the next morning feeling like there was someone in your house. Ignoring the fact that your fever had gone and your airways felt clearer than they had in the last few days, you stepped out of bed and grabbed your phone from the bedside table. Fully prepared to call the police, you padded silently down the carpeted staircase and peeked into the kitchen. 

What you saw made another sob fall out of your mouth.

Mason was stood by the stove, wearing a United hoodie and track pants, while stirring something in a pot on the hob which you could only guess to be chicken soup. 

‘Mase?!’ He whirled around and grinned.

‘Hey babe!’ You summoned the energy to run over to him and throw your arms around his neck, relishing the contact of your bodies having been apart for nearly two weeks. 

‘What the hell are you doing here? I thought they wanted you to play?’ He kissed your temple and shrugged.

‘But I wanted to be here with you more. It wasn’t easy but I managed to negotiate it off. After our FaceTime last night I couldn’t be apart from you any longer. I couldn’t have you suffering here by yourself while Ben and Reece are in Timbuktu.’ You giggled at the reference to what you’d said the previous night, and hugged him harder, your head finding its usual spot just under his neck. He wrapped you up in his arms and rubbed your back. 

‘I can’t thank you enough, Masey, it means the world.’ You felt him press a kiss to the top of your head.

‘It’s the least I can do for my princess.’ And in that moment, with you curled up against his chest while he stirred chunks of chicken and vegetables in a thick broth, breathing in his glorious scent that could only the scent of home, you had absolutely no doubt in your mind that you really had found your Prince Charming. 

#mason mount #mason mount fic #mason mount fluff #mason mount fanfic #mason mount smut #mason mount x reader #mason mount x you #mason mount x y/n #mason mount imagine #mason mount imagines #manchester united #football #football imagines #football imagine

[moonstruckme]

Hi!!! I really really love how you write Lily! Could you please write something where Lily is comforting the reader who’s going through a friendship breakup and is taking it really hard?

Thanks lovely! <3

Lily Evans x fem!reader ♡ 864 words

You can tell your moping is starting to make your girlfriend nervous. She keeps bringing you things as she bakes, first the beaters to lick clean, then a spoonful of dough, and now cookies in droves, two or three at a time as different rounds come out of the oven and delivered with brief, cajoling kisses. She’s trying to infuse you with a better mood by all manner of sweet things. 

“I’m okay,” you promise as she comes back in, your plate reloaded. “I really am full this time, baby.” 

Lily hums discontentedly but sets the cookies down. “And when you say you’re okay,” she says, perching on the armrest beside where you’re sitting on the couch, “do you mean you’re okay without more food, or…” 

“In general,” you reassure her. “I’m alright, really. I can feel you worrying.” 

Her fingers skim down your hair, slotting a piece behind your ear. “Well, I don’t mean to make you feel my worry,” she says, “but I don’t mind worrying. And this would be a…a very understandable thing to be not okay about.” 

You can’t quite look at her. “Yeah.” You shrug, trying to sound lighter than you feel. “I just figure there’s not much point in being all sad about something I can’t fix. Best to move on, you know?” 

“I do know a thing or two about losing someone you’re close to,” Lily agrees. 

And she does, you remember. Her sister. You look up, shameful, but she only smiles gently. 

“Moving on does help, definitely, but you can’t really just skip over the feelings, either. It’s…” Her expression goes sheepish. “Well, it sounds sort of awful to say, but it’s almost like they’ve died, isn’t it? At least, the relationship you had did.” 

“Yeah,” you sigh, relieved. You’d felt wrong for thinking it, but you’ve been feeling the same. The awkward, unidentifiable tension you’ve been carrying around starts to uncoil. “It’s really weird, not talking to them.” 

“I know, sweetheart.” She takes your hand, rubbing her thumb over yours softly. Her eyes are heavy with understanding. “It’ll probably always be weird, if I’m honest. But it won’t always hurt so terribly. You know this is the right thing for both of you.” 

“I know,” you say, shallowing your breaths in an attempt to suppress the tears stinging in your eyes. Lily strokes a short line into the back of your hand. You can feel the weight of her gaze on you, but you keep your stare determinedly downward, blinking forcefully. “Sorry,” you choke out. “I don’t mean to be such a drag.” 

“Baby,” Lily laughs, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and the other around your head as she pulls you into her chest. And she’s all softness; soft flesh giving way to your shoulder, and a soft hand cradling your face, the soft silk of her hair tickling your nose as it falls around your face like a curtain. 

“You’re not a drag,” she promises, “you’re just sad. It’s okay to be sad, my love. Don’t stopper yourself up on my account, okay? Please.” 

You don’t cry for long, possibly because there’s not much left to cry for. You’re both right; what’s done is done, and it’ll hurt even if that hurt is pointless. You’ve lost someone who other people still get to have, or maybe you’ve lost the love more than the person, and maybe that’s worse. You can’t fix it, don’t want to, so this is all that’s left to do. Miss it. 

“My sweet girl,” Lily murmurs into your hair, “I’m sorry. You’ll be alright, I promise.” 

“I know,” you say croakily. You reach up to wipe your eyes, but she beats you to it, thumb stroking underneath your lashes with enough care to nearly have you bursting into tears all over again. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be, you haven’t done anything wrong.” She sounds almost pleading. “You’re allowed to be upset, okay? Really, I’ve been counting on it all day. I’m just glad you didn’t go to bed without letting yourself have a cry. I was starting to really worry.” 

“Is that what the cookies have been about?” you tease, feeling lighter as tears cool on your cheeks. Your voice comes out easier. 

Lily hums. “Perhaps.” 

“Wait, really?” You pull away from her chest so you can see her. “You were trying to feed me until I felt better?” 

“Well, would there be anything wrong with that?” 

“No,” you laugh, “but I feel like it’d have been a lot less effort just to cuddle.” 

Lily beams, then looks guilty for it, tapering her smile down into something more sheepish. “I could still do that,” she says, slipping off the armrest and into your lap. You bite down on your own smile as she smears a kiss over your cheek. “I’ve got more cookies coming out in a few minutes, but aside from that brief interruption I’m all yours.” 

“More cookies?” you ask, leaning back to peer into the kitchen at the overflowing cooling racks. “How many are there going to be?” 

“You seemed very sad,” she reasons, stroking a piece of hair near your face. “It’s possible I may have overcompensated.”

#lily evans #lily evans x reader #lily evans x fem!reader #lily evans x y/n #lily evans x you #lily evans x self insert #lily evans fanfiction #lily evans fanfic #lily evans fic #lily evans fluff #lily evans hurt/comfort #lily evans imagine #lily evans scenario #lily evans drabble #lily evans blurb #lily evans one shot #lily evans oneshot #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fandom #hp marauders #marauders era #marauders girls #marauders valkyries #marauders girls x reader #marauders valkyries x reader

[sweetlysniffly]

Yes yes yes we’re all familiar with the stubborn sickie; they swear up and down they’re not sick until they can’t deny it and have to accept help, or maybe just rest. But I wanna talk about a different kind of sickie that doesn’t get a lot of attention: the new to this sickie.

Character A and B are living together for the first time, and B has come down with a bad cold: fever, aches, sneezing, stuffy nose, sore throat, drowsiness, cough, headache, the works. But they grew up in an environment/household where staying home when they got sick and having someone tenderly take care of them was….rare. Whether for more abusive reasons or just the set of socioeconomic circumstances they found themselves in, having that classic tv show esque sick day experience really wasn’t in the cards for them.

Now that they live with A, and A can/genuinely wants to stay home and take care of them, B has to learn how to be a sickie with a caretaker. A immediately starts asking them things like “what’s your go to sick day movie” or what their go to “feel better” food is, or which brand of medicine they like. and B just…doesn’t know. They usually just sleep through being sick or power through if they can, so they really don’t really have a routine for comfort. So now A, a little disheartened at the thought of why B is this way, is determined to help B learn how to be a sickie.

A rubs vaporub on their chest and B is very confused at first but does come around to it.

What do you mean why I am I sleeping on the couch? So I don’t get you sick. Isn’t that what everyone does?

Why am I out of bed? You said that some tea would help my throat. so I’m making the tea?

Things where they still have to learn that someone can want to take care of them or just what some simple at home remedies even are.

#snz kink #me…projecting??? #it’s more likely than you think #snzario

[if-loves]

不老梦 (unaging dream)

// Yandere Dan Heng

sum: “How many meetings receive their worthy ends?”

wc: 3379

warnings: idk OOC dan heng ig 😢 and fem! reader

a/n: this was a shower idea ngl and also i yapped too much someone stop me

also inspired by the song 不老梦 (and some influence of 锦鲤抄 (no one ask me how many times i’ve played this song)) by 银临! i highly suggest giving both a listen (≧∇≦)

likes and reblogs appreciated :)

Dan Feng adored you.

Dan Heng knows that much. He knows that Dan Feng’s first and last thoughts were about you, pondering your whereabouts, your health, and a longing to see you once more. He knows that Dan Feng would, without fail, set aside time solely for you. No matter how busy his schedule was, he always had time for you. If Dan Feng knew love, it was because he knew you.

Dan Heng doesn’t understand why.

He knows that you’re a long-life species like Jing Yuan, that you’re someone who has accompanied every reincarnation of his ever since you had met them for the first time. He vaguely remembers that the rest of them had not felt anything more than platonic affection for you, but Dan Feng, the singular oddity, harbored far more romantic affections. Dan Heng, on the other hand, feels nothing.

Or so he thinks, until he is forced to revisit the Xianzhou Luofu.

It’s at Scalegorge Waterscape that he sees and meets you for the first time. You accompany Jing Yuan as he arrives, and your eyes immediately lock on to him. He sees them widen, and your lips whisper the name of his predecessor. Although almost silent, he hears your voice, and something in him tells him that it’s the most beautiful sound in the universe.

(He makes no move to deny.)

Your meeting is brief, no more than a sentence exchanged. You dip your head in respect, and nothing more than a simple greeting is said. He merely nods in acknowledgment, and yet while he has never learned it, he yearns to call your name.

You dutifully follow Jing Yuan as the group goes deeper into Scalegorge Waterscape, and Dan Heng can’t help but glance at you. He wonders if you know his name, and not that of his predecessors; he is not, and never will be, Dan Feng.

He thinks it’s odd that you don’t try to speak to him. From Dan Feng’s memories, he sees that you were both very close, perhaps even lovers at some point. Your wide smiles and sweet laughter are all etched into his brain, and he desires nothing more than to hear and see them for himself. He hopes you’ll give him the pleasure of smiling once more.

During the battle with Phantylia, he feels fear in his heart. He is concerned for the Express, concerned for Jing Yuan, and concerned for you. Was there really a need for you to be there, with everyone at the frontlines? Surely their group was enough already? Why didn’t Jing Yuan leave you behind or make you go back with Yanqing?

Plagued by his worries, he can’t help but keep his eyes on you as much as the battle allows. You stood at the very back, likely providing support and aid for your comrades in the front. Seeing you like this sparks another remembrance, of the days you’d delicately put ointment on Dan Feng’s bruises or gently tend to his wounds, all while chastising him about being more careful with himself.

It’s after the battle with Phantylia that he manages to find the courage to speak to you. He feels like a child with the way shyness has overtaken him, and he catches sight of Jing Yuan, although injured, seemingly enjoying his fluster.

“It’s… it’s been a long time.” He cringes at his first words.

“So it has, Imbibitor Lunae.” Your voice, a symphony of the galaxy’s most captivating sounds, enchants him further, and although not usually one to blush, he feels heat rising to his cheeks.

“Dan Heng. My name is Dan Heng.” He can’t help but correct. He has been relinquished of that name, of the sins that it bears. He is not Imbibitor Lunae, he is merely the Astral Express’ Dan Heng. “I… am no longer Imbibitor Lunae.”

“…Dan Heng, then.” Is it foolish to be happy at how one says your name? “Is there something I can help you with?”

“I…” Dan Heng doesn’t quite know what to say. He wants to speak to you, to hear you for the rest of time, but he doesn’t know how. He doesn’t know how to speak to you without the possibility of widening the rift already between you two, undoubtedly the fault of a certain Vidyadhara High Elder.

“If there is nothing more to say, then I shall be on my way. I wish you and your crewmates safe travels.” You say simply and easily, like you don’t hold his heart. You say it like he’s a stranger, and not even your eyes are willing to show a hint of familiarity. What heinous crime did Dan Feng do to you that even to this day, you’re unwilling to forgive?

“I’d like to know what happened between you and… my predecessor.” The word leaves a sour taste in his mouth, like he’s saying the name of the competitor for your love. Your eyes widen in shock, and you look at him as if he had just asked to return to the Luofu permanently. He is acutely aware of the absurdity of the situation, that he looks exactly the same as the sinner that undoubtedly did something to you, that this same face is acting as if he hadn’t done anything to you. The real irony was in asking for the list of crimes.

“…There’s nothing more to be said, other than that he betrayed Xianzhou.” You don’t offer him the kindness of an explanation, and he thinks the way you can’t bear to even meet his eyes says all he needs to know about your feelings. Dan Feng had hurt you so greatly, that years later your heart is still hurting.

Dan Heng desires nothing more than to understand you the same way all his predecessors did, for an intimate connection the rest of them had, but he knows that for as long as he resembles him, you’ll never offer him that opportunity. And so, he makes a request.

He makes a request to meet with Jing Yuan privately. Said man is now your boss, and if you had told anyone about your connection to the traitor, it would be Jing Yuan, the only one who would welcome you with no judgment, only understanding.

“It was quite the surprise to learn of your request, Dan Heng.” The white haired man sits on his seat, a calm expression on his face. The Seat of Divine Foresight is devoid of people, the space cleared for this meeting. The General seems to have recognised some urgency in the request, or perhaps it is because he is a reincarnation of his old friend. You are also nowhere to be found.

“Thank you for accepting my request, Jing Yuan.” Dan Heng is stiff in his reply.

“There’s no need to be formal, you did help save the Luofu after all. Consider it part of a repayment for your predecessor’s crimes.” A bird comfortably nestles itself into the nest of his hair, and he makes no move to rid it. “Your request mentioned something about (Y/n). I imagine that it has something to do with Dan Feng’s past with her?”

“Yes. I tried to ask her, but she refused to give me anything more than the vague answer of his betrayal.” The black haired man’s hands clenches on his knee, looking straight at Jing Yuan as if his life depended on the answer. “Please, Jing Yuan, I need to know.”

I need to know how I can fix his mistakes.

“I must apologize, for I can’t exactly help much either. As far as I know, she has mostly kept to herself. Back when everything had yet to go awry, while the four of us were close, only Dan Feng was close to her.” Jing Yuan replied, mindlessly staring at a stack of paper on his desk. “I only came to really know her after what he did, when she was seeking a change of jobs and came across a position as my assistant. From what little I can recall of the past, I can only confidently tell you that she, at the very least, held strong affections for him, even when he broke his promises or left her alone.”

Dan Feng… broke his promises to you? Dan Feng… left you alone?

“This seems like quite the news for you.” Jing Yuan chuckles at the dumbfounded expression on his face. “Perhaps I can help with sorting through some memories?”

“Everything I can remember from him is nothing more than sweet memories and strong yearnings to see her again. It… I cannot remember anything of that sort.” Dan Heng is frankly horrified and beyond furious. He just couldn’t wrap the idea that Dan Feng didn’t prioritize you the same way his memories and dreams had shown him, that he would willingly break promises to his supposed lover so often that you gave up.

“Oh? That’s interesting. Is it possible that during the reincarnation process, all of his negative memories of hurting her had somehow disappeared, only leaving behind the ones he cherished most?”

“That would seem to be the case.” Dan Heng has a new determination. He knows what he must do. Standing from the seat, he bows politely at Jing Yuan. “I know what I must do. Thank you for the valuable information, Jing Yuan.”

“No thanks needed.” The General waves him off, seeing the body of his old friend disappear behind the doors. With a bitter smile, he silently mourns bygone days, but it doesn’t soothe the ache in his old heart.

~~~

You’re a little afraid to go to work now.

With the knowledge that your ex-lover’s reincarnation who happens to look exactly like him is still roaming about in the Luofu, you kind of don’t want to step out of your house for fear of running into him. You had desperately hoped that, by some miracle, he couldn’t recognise you, or even better, completely forgotten all about you. Alas, the will of the Aeons will always be like a child’s, fickle and ever-changing, never leaving a second thought for their toys.

The weekend has you hiding in your house, praying to Lan that the Express has departed, allowing you to be free from the reminder of the dream you once cherished with the one you loved. The dream that was once so beautiful, so precious, was now tainted with the stains of yesteryear, never again to be dreamed of by any of its dreamers.

You’re settled on the couch, reading a collection of poetry when there is a knock at your door. Never one to keep guests waiting, you immediately jumped out of your seat to rush to the door, forgetting the crucial reminder to check the knocker. It is this one fatal mistake that seals your fate forevermore.

“(Y/n).” His voice is the same as you remember, reverent, loving (as if you meant the world). He looks the same, the blue horns atop his head that he would only allow you to touch, the teal eyes that could always read you as if you were an open book, the long, black hair you loved to braid. You used to lay on his lap, one of his hands holding yours, the other caressing your cheek with a gentleness reserved for delicate flowers, lulling you to your shared dream.

Your name from his lips sounds so right, yet, yet, like the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden, a tempting yet unpardonable sin. Your name sounds as though it was specifically intended for his lips alone, but the taint of the past sours the feeling. He’s a traitor to the Xianzhou, he is exiled. He… is dead to you.

But… Why is it that you yearn for him? Why is it that your body longs to be in his embrace once more, that your heart desires to beat in sync with his?

“I love you.” This dream, cruel and twisted and evil in all its forms, has you weak. You can’t see straight, and the world is turning into a blur. How could he say that, while he looks like him? How dare he? Has Aha taken the form of your regret, and decided to make you THEIR victim?

You don’t realize the tears running down your face until he, holding your face with both hands, much like a lover would, wipes them away.

“Please don’t cry. I don’t like seeing you sad.” The sunlight shines upon him angelically, a frown marring his face. His eyes are panicked, unsure of what to do. He, so similar yet so different, knows not what a lover should do.

The panic in his eyes morphs to confusion when you weakly push his hands away, trying your hardest to compose yourself in front of him. He is not the same person you once knew, and he deserves freedom.

Wiping the last of your tears away, you invite him into your home. He is visibly shocked, accepting your invitation without hesitation, following you to the couch. You offer him a drink, tea, but he refuses.

“I learned some things from Jing Yuan.” He starts, quietly. He looks at you, and there is a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “Please, I need to know what he did, the promises he broke, the sins he committed. I… need to make things right.”

“You do not need to repent for the sins of your predecessor. A child does not bear the responsibility of righting the wrongs of their parents; you do not bear the responsibilities of righting his wrongs.” You speak to him firmly, a sudden strength in your voice. “Please, Dan Heng, be free from me; be free from the Luofu.”

“But I love-”

“You do not love me.” An anger flashes in his eyes briefly, and had you blinked you would have missed it. The anger, ever so brief, on his face is the same as you remember. “You love what your predecessor loved about me. All your memories of me are his, and you are not him. You have the chance to love freely, to meet all kinds of people from all walks of life - I am but a speck of dust in the tempest of your life. Soon I will be nothing but a memory, perhaps bittersweet, and you will find something, someone, that you’ll love.”

You hope, desperately, that he understands. He says he is not Imbibitor Lunae, that he is not Dan Feng; then severing your ties with him would be the final nail in the coffin, the true death of the High Elder of the Vidyadhara, and the birth of Dan Heng, a member of the Astral Express who freely travels the galaxy with his companions.

“…I don’t want it.” Now it is your turn to be shocked. Has he lost his mind?

“Dan Heng, I have tried to be kind considering your situation. However, you seem to not be understanding.” Your reprimand is immediate, tumbling out of your mouth as if they were prepared beforehand.

“And I don’t want it. I need you, don’t you understand? Even… even if I deny him, he, and the ones before him, will always have a hold on me. The hold is you. We can’t live without you, none of us have. Don’t you know? As pointless as it may be, Vidyadharas mate for life; leaving without you would be akin to condemning myself to an eternity of heartbreak and misery.” He pleads, even taking your hands in his. “Even if my love for you is, thus far, only brought upon by his memories, it is fate, destiny, that I will fall in love with you again and again and again.”

Your heart hurts all over again, and you make no move to reply. Your head hangs, your eyes staring at your lap, at your intertwined hands. Gently, delicately, he brings your hand to his heart, and it beats in tandem with yours.

“Remember the vows he swore to you at that festival, many years ago?” He, Dan Heng, you must remind yourself, moves you to his lap, and you’re reminded of the many times you’ve shared this position with his lookalike. There is the same tenderness and warmth, the same comfort and protection it brings, yet you are reminded all the same that he is not the one you love.

“Those are — were his vows to keep, not yours.” You remind once more, but your words seem to reach deaf ears when the only expression on his face is that of a lovesick, diseased man.

“His vows were of reunion and love, and he has promised you eternity. If there is something of his I am willing to uphold, it is his vows to you.” He takes the hand on his heart and brings it to his cheek, leaning into your hand. Slyly, he moves your ear to his heart, and you find that the beating of the muscle doesn’t quite bring you relief. No, something brews inside your heart, and it feels closer to fear.

“Dan Heng, I d-”

“Say my name again.” He demands, his eyes, the bright teal eyes you once loved, harboring a hunger you had never seen before, not even from him.

“Dan… Heng…”

“I remember reading a story in the archives once. A pair of lovers, forever forced to part, doomed to the cycle of reincarnation. In every life, they found each other, but not every meeting was as joyful as it should have been.” He murmurs, his tail wrapping around your waist. His eyes are half-lidded, and he looks as if he has ascended to another plane. “In one of their happier lives, they grew old together. One posed a question to the other as they lay on their deathbeds, destined to continue their cycle of eternal existence. Do you know what the question was?”

Silence rings louder than it has ever been, yet still, he patiently awaits your answer. He knows that at the end of the day, you fall to him. He knows that you will speak.

“I do not.” He is right.

““How many meetings receive their worthy ends?” I have pondered this question since the first time we met at Scalegorge Waterscape, and I have decided.” With a strength you often forget he has, he picks you up and walks out of the door, ignorant of all the stares and whispers that plague his appearance. “I have decided that this meeting will receive the end it is worthy of.”

Everything else he says thereafter is nothing more than white noise.

~~~

Jing Yuan seemed more than happy to let you go with Dan Heng, and the Express was more than happy to welcome you aboard. Dan Heng, having reverted back to his more casual appearance, sticks close to you. Not that it matters, for you rarely leave the Archives.

March 7th is a peppy girl. Himeko is a kind woman. Welt Yang is a knowledgeable member. The Trailblazer is a resilient being. And Dan Heng…

Dan Heng is your captor, holding you to a vow from centuries ago. You have yet to have a moment of rest, a moment where you could finally breathe, but every time you look at him you are reminded of the real person behind the appearance. He is, first and foremost, a dragon, and dragons are primitive creatures; their rules of existence follow simple principles of eating when they are hungry, fighting when they are angry, and taking what they desire.

“Fortune granted our union amidst a crowd of ten thousand,” he reads, your head on his lap. Your eyes are closed, you can feel his fond gaze. A fate of being struck by the mara would be a better fate than being a prisoner of your regret.

Lately, he has taken a liking to the poetry collection you brought with you. His reading has soured the otherwise bewitching poetry, yet you don’t wish for the deception of sleep — you know that it will only bring you the sweet dream you are trying to escape.

“I’d rather break my heart and bathe in flames,

than to break the thought

of night’s drizzle and water lilies by your side.”

#yandere #honkai star rail #yandere honkai star rail #yandere hsr #hsr #yandere x reader #dan heng #yandere dan heng #dan heng x reader #fem reader #female reader #imbibitor lunae

[what-even-is-thiss]

Hi roman. I know this is very weird, but i've seen you give some life advice to other people, so i thought i could give it a try too. Don't answer if you don't want to. Anyway

Do you have any advice/tips for a 15 y/o who thinks they just have no control over their life? Like, my concentration is dog shit, i think my grades are slipping. My executive dysfunction so bad and i think i'm disappointing a lot of people. I have no idea how to handle anything in my life. I can't force myself to do the things i need to (not that that'd be any good, i'll immediately cry lol). I just, don't fucking know how i could make things better for myself. And i can't really talk to adults about it, they'll repeat the stuff i already know, and i am the worst person to put their feelings into words, so they'll prob never understand. Not in the edgy way.

Yeah so sorry for half venting into your ask box. Thank you in advance if you'll answer it, if it's too weird and you don't want to do that for whatever reason, that's ok. Peace and love <3

Dude, you’re unfortunately suffering from being 15. And possibly a learning disorder. Godspeed to you.

And I don’t say that to belittle your problems. In many ways as a teenager you don’t have control over a lot of things. You’re still under the control of your parents, you’re still learning how to deal with adult level emotions and ideas. A lot is expected of you and a lot of things are made to seem more important than they are. It’s hard to tell what’s actually important and what’s just adults blowing things out of proportion. It sucks and it’s frustrating!

If you can, you might want to talk to a counselor. If your parents or guardians are anti-counseling you might try to talk to someone at your school like a teacher or administrator or school nurse about the possibility of getting counseling without your parents knowing. Some schools have programs like that.

The adults closest to you might not understand but if you keep looking you’ll eventually find someone who remembers what it’s like to be in your shoes.

And I remember fully feeling like I’d never get control over anything. The end goal of life was graduation from high school and god only knows if I keep existing after that. But the thing is, you do! You keep existing and you figure a lot of stuff out. Wisdom does come with time, it turns out. And legally and practically you end up getting a lot more autonomy as time goes on.

And I know hearing things like this might not feel comforting. When you’re stuck, you’re stuck and no matter how much you logically know it’ll get better right now it sucks.

Just find ways to keep going. And try asking for help sometimes. If your family won’t listen, find someone who will. Take the time to write down your problems and how you feel if you can’t come up with explanations of what’s going on. Or find a friend to talk it out with so you can practice explaining yourself.

If there’s one thing I can promise you, when you’re a couple years into adulthood all of the problems from your teenage years start to feel small. At the time they were big and important though. And that’s what you’re going through right now. And a lot of adults forget about that. Hang in there, and when all of this is behind you, remember how hard it was and maybe someday you can help someone like you.

I’m sorry if all that wasn’t helpful. I don’t know too much about your individual situation. But ask for help when you can. Someone out there understands. You’ll find them.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi. I’m sending this anonymously but if tumblr glitches and it isn’t anonymous please don’t post this because I’m absolutely completely entirely mortified.

I’m 20 FtM. About a year and a half ago, when I moved out and started at college, I discovered fandom, and began to get really into reading fics on AO3. My parents had heavily restricted my internet access growing up, and as new adult I began to discovered the barrage of content online.

Soon enough, I was spending about an hour or two every night reading smut fics. I never thought anything of it, because, well, it’s just words, it’s not *actually* porn, right?

Recently I did start watching some explicit videos but tried to limit myself to only once or twice a month because the shame I felt as well as the strange dissatisfaction just wasn’t worth it.

After doing some research, I found a study that said that watching porn for more than an hour a week was unhealthy. I thought, yeah, okay, fair enough.

Then I realised: does my fanfiction reading count as pornography?

I kept thinking to myself that because it was text it didn’t count, but —does it? Is that the reason that lately I’ve been feeling strangely dissatisfied and empty after reading/watching? Will I feel like this when I eventually have sex?? (still a virgin, mainly for dysphoria reasons)

I found all this stuff online that says porn addictions can screw you over for life, that you can’t find sexual satisfaction with a partner.

Should I cut back?

I don’t normally masturbate while consuming porn. I feel too ashamed. I normally just sit there and read/watch.

Am I a porn addict?????? Should I quit reading smut? Help.

If you can’t tell, I wasn’t raised in a very sex positive environment and I feel very ashamed. I don’t really know who to talk to and I just feel very guilty so I’m resorting to an anonymous ask on Tumblr.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it.

— Jason

hi Jason,

I don't think you're a porn addict. I think you're probably just an anxious 20 year old from a pretty restrictive background and now that you have a little more freedom you're kind of nervous about it, which is very normal.

I want to be super clear: written porn is porn. porn is any sexually explicit material designed to titillate; it's existed since WAY before the moving picture existed and it will exist long after the internet has crumbled to dust. people like porn! and it's okay to like porn. the text-based stuff is particularly high on the list of porn that's pretty unambiguously fine, morally-speaking, because you never have to worry that the performer you're watching has had their video stolen by pornhub or that, god forbid, anyone onscreen isn't a willing participant, but I want to be super clear that liking sexually explicit photos or videos of real people is also 100% fine.

obviously I have no idea what study you read, but I'd be cautious about any study being boiled down to such black and white, attention-grabbing headlines. you can interpret a study to mean virtually anything if you want to, and there are a lot of interest groups with a vested interest in demonizing porn. if reading smutty fan fic makes you happy and isn't interfering with the rest of your life, you should do that.

unfortunately it sounds like it's not making you happy lately, dissatisfied and empty feelings. in the kindest way possible, I don't think much of that is being caused by the porn itself. it sounds like it's coming from your gnawing worry that you're a porn addict. maybe it's best to take a little step away from porn and smutty fic for a while, if only until you feel able to engage with it without feeling bad.

also, speaking of porn addiction: that's a very dubious condition, and one that's not scientifically or medically recognized. to be certain, people can develop a reliance on porn that disrupts their daily function and can wreak havoc on their lives, but that's true of anything that causes your brain to spit out happy chemicals. anything that become a maladaptive coping mechanism, including and especially things that are fine and even necessary in small doses. sleeping, exercising, and going shopping are all things that can be life-ruining if done to harmful excess, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong if you like to sleep in, go for runs, or browse your favorite online stores every once in a while.

if reading smut isn't causing you to skip out on your more important obligations, fail to take care of yourself, or bringing on bankruptcy, I think you're probably alright. the biggest danger I see here is you beating yourself over the head with your own anxiety about this, which may be a sign that it's a good idea to take a step back for entirely different reasons than you were worried about.

#sex edventures 2024

[rachetmath]

Everything that could've gone right

Jaune: Okay, so from all the information you all have shown me, again thank you all, I think we should discuss some things.

Winter: Indeed. 

Ruby: We need to do something.

Jaune: Okay, first let's discuss the Crown. As Coco told me they were a horrible organization. They target people, especially with valuable semblances. Not to mention they are now partner with Tyrian. A wild card that we may not be able to predict.

Qrow: Yeah he is a slipper guy.

Jaune: We have no idea what their next move will be so we need to be prepared. So I think we send Emerald Sustrai in to infiltrate and spy on them. 

Ruby: What- No!

Jaune: I’m sorry, what's wrong, Ruby?

Nora: Emerald is still a villain, we can't trust her.

Jaune: What? But she helped in the evacuation, I think -

Winter: I agree. Especially considering her past crimes.

Jaune: Fair point but she's the only one who gets in and out while filling us in on what our enemies can do. Plus, if that's the case she can prove herself by helping us. 

Ruby: No Jaune that's too risky.

Winter: I agree.

Qrow: Same.

Raven: Yep.

Jaune: Okay. Next is the Grimm attacks. They are skyrocketing. This may be due to our mistake of bringing too many people to Vacuo. Not to mention Vale citizens. So… I am afraid we need to escort some of them out.

Robyn: What?! Objection!

Obleck: I agree, Mr.Arc. That is cruel.

Jaune: Huh. Cruel? Some of these people want to leave this city and kingdom altogether. Some of the people don't get along with each other as well. Not to mention food and other resources. 

Robyn: We'll find another way to provide. Plus how would get them out?

Jaune: I mean we have ships. We have hunters ready to fight. I mean, yeah, they’ll still have the Grimm to deal with but still. They should spread instead of being cramped up like animals.

Winter: Jaune, these people are our responsibility. We must protect them. Plus if we send hunters around on escort missions our numbers will thin. 

Jaune: I mean we have students who are being trained to fight. Let them go along and shadow the pros. Or stay and help us.

Ren: Jaune that won't help.

Jaune: They will gain experience and probably survive. I think we need to consider our resources.

Ruby: No Jaune. We need a different approach.

Winter: Agreed.

Obleck: Well said, Ms.Rose.

Jaune: Alright. Mm. Okay, so about the tribes. Some of them aren't willing to offer assistance. So, what do we do about them?

Ruby: We try to reason with all of them.

Robyn: Yes!

Jaune: What-?

Obleck: Indeed. We ask for assistance and if they don't provide it-

Raven: We crush them.

Jaune: Shouldn't we be careful though? I mean, we can do that but doesn't that give us more enemies than allies? We can't simply side with anyone and crush those who oppose us. Especially with no research or information on what they could have that we could use.

Raven: This is Vacuo, kid. It's all about dominance.

Jaune: Are you- oh my- okay, okay, breath. Breath. Guys… look. I know this is hard. But… l do need to remind all of you of what's up. First off Tyrian is still on the loose. And he has new allies. Allies who know this kingdom and its people more than we do. Due to the amount of problems many requests for hunters have been skyrocketing.  We have children with no parents. Parents who lost their children. Families whom we can’t feed or provide for. A war could happen at any time and you wish to start one before a greater threat arrives.

Ruby: Jaune we need hunters. We need to tighten security. 

Jaune: No. What we need is resources so we can help people and stop them from killing each other. And even after that, we need to get some of these people out of the kingdom. Do you not know what’s happening with them? Violence. Kidnapping. Rape. Extortion. We are having too many victims. And with more victims, MORE NEGATIVITY.

Oobleck: We understand but we can’t involve the students.

Jaune: My team. Team RWBY. We were first years. We’re still first years. We have been involved in this for months. And remember, these kids are here for the same reason we’re here. To be hunters. And what is needed when being a hunter? Experience. We have missions on the board, too many for us to work with. If we research every or as many teams as we can, we can divide the work among them. And it’s not like they’ll be alone. We have pros who aren’t doing anything. Let them work.

Raven: Then how do we handle the tribes?

Jaune: Not all tribes need to be dealt with. Some we can leave alone. Some might need help. Or we can talk with them. Who knows they may be willing to take some of the citizens off our hands. 

Winter: I understand.

Jaune: I highly doubt that.

Winter: But need our people here.

Jaune: Again some of them don’t want to be here. We might as well be imprisoning them.

Theodore: It seems we are in conclusion. Very well done everyone. Meet achured.

Jaune: We are so f****.

After weeks

Theodore: Oh my god the relic is gone.

Jaune: Probably because we had no guardian it. 

Ruby: Theirs too many Grimm to fight.

Jaune: Maybe because of so many people fighting, stealing and hating each other.

Raven: Too many tribes are against us. They sided with the Crown. 

Jaune: Maybe if we negotiated and made compromises with them we could have turn some of them into allies.

Qrow: Tyrian just killed a Summer maiden. Now Gillian has the maiden powers.

Jaune: If only we had someone to hide among them who could have fed us information so we had a counterattack. Or maybe save our maiden.

Emerald: Merury, please.

Mercury: It’s too late Emerald. Maybe if you found me and tried to help me earlier, I would have teamed up with you.

Jaune: Wow.

Mercury: In fact, I don’t know why they didn’t send you. Probably they didn’t trust you enough. I don’t know why you’re still working with them. Join us.

Jaune: You might be right.

Ruby: Jaune, com on, help us.

Jaune: What’s the point? We already lost.

After the battle

Ruby: A lot of people died.

Theodore: The relic is gone.

Oobleck: Our numbers are thin.

Winter: The people have abandoned us.

Jaune: Really?

Raven: Okay kid, you were-

Jaune: The proof is in the pudding. I know I was right.

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #yang xiao long #winter schnee #robyn hill #qrow branwen #tyrian callows #mercuria black #emerald sustrai