#Hope doesn't have to be tethered in reality

[couldhavechoosensthbetter]

How I Gaslight myself into getting better through wangxian?

When I'm feeling depressed and an imposter,

I remember Wei Wuxian who is always hungry for knowledge and being kind and standing up for his beliefs no matter where, always wanting to make change for better, all with the stuff that happened to him we all remember, he always stepped forward with a smile giving what he didn't own for himself, shrugging off the bitterness and pain to allow more space in his heart.

When there's inner conflict or anxiousness bubbling, when I lack reason and resolution, when shame of my past mistakes leave me locked in my bones.

I remember Wangji who made mistakes not knowing better, who lost and yet chose to stand up anyways, to learn again despite knowing he's not coming back (we're glad he did), who honoured his love and himself by choosing to live , not because life's been kind to him or it was easier but because it wasn't, instead he tried to make life kinder for juniors. He didn't drown in his mistakes but used it as an opportunity to grow into the person he can approve himself of, for the lost love who will never be able to witness that. ( if not for the resurrection that happened)

Their surroundings were muddy but they emerged like a lotus, the world was burning but winter brought its sooth.

They lived and found each other, not because situation or emotions let them, but because they wanted to, they chose to make the best of what's left and now look at what they made for themselves and together.

So, what's stopping me from making a better life for myself despite, despite.

#they made individual choices #with same virtue #they found each other after finding themselves #They might be fictional but someone thought about their existence and made it happen #Hope doesn't have to be tethered in reality #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mdzs #wei wuxian #mdzs wei wuxian #mo dao zu shi #mxtx #wei ying #lan wangji

[lady-raziel]

and alright, here's my last (let's hope) and boldest take yet. lots of people have been talking about the level of staff (around 25-ish people) at watcher, and whether downsizing that number could have been a potential avenue of reducing costs before just jumping to a subscription model. at first i was like yeah, i'm not sure that there needs to be 18 people involved in making a lets play. i was in the fucking trenches in the unus annus days and i'm still amazed how markiplier and ethan nestor managed to put out pretty well edited videos every day for a whole year with only a handful of editors and a couple people filming. what unus annus was trying to do and what watcher is trying to do are obviously pretty different, but the point is that you really don't need a whole crew of people to make lots of different types of content and do it well.

i still think there probably doesn't need to be a whole production crew involved with the creation of some of the simpler types of content watcher puts out. however, i don't think the size of the staff is the real problem. in fact, i think the staff of watcher probably should have been larger.

let me explain. if i begrudgingly go to one of my most detested websites (linkedin. *bleeegh*) and look up watcher, i can see that pretty much every person on staff is in a creative role of some sort by their own admission. at first glance, its like, oh, that makes sense. they're making creative products, it's natural that they should all be in creative roles. however, once you think about it for a little longer from a business perspective, that fact is really concerning.

after all, by watcher's own definition, this is a production studio. this is a company. So in this sea of creative roles, who's doing corporate planning? Who's managing finance? Who's doing payroll? Or brand outreach? Or human-freaking-resources??? you can hire outside groups for all this. i'm aware. but those services cost a lot of money to contract too. i'm just finding it concerning that there is pretty much no one on full time staff that is there to at least do some of this stuff. if watcher wants to be a big-boy company, that's fine, but that means you have to pay some people to be part of your company to do the not-fun business stuff like accounting. or resource management.

if they want to be a real company, they should actually have a lot more people on staff to deal with all the non-creative parts of running a company. even if they contract out most of it, you want at least a few people that are your people and don't actually work for someone else. that's how you don't get screwed over or end up in a contract you can't get out of.

which leads me to my last train of thought. like, as i go through the staff of watcher and look at what they do, it really seems like one of the ONLY people who's job it was to look at the business side of things WAS steven lim in his role as CEO. and thinking about that, i'm like god, can you imagine?? here's a guy who just wants to create cool stuff too but as one of the few people who has to think about the realities of Brand and the Business, HE has to be the one to burst the bubble. He as CEO has to say no to people and make decisions to make sure the company survives. In a group of creative people who just want to make things they're interested in, no expense spared, he was probably the guy who had to stay at least a little tethered to reality.

I'm not about to say that steven lim isn't to blame here. everyone involved in making the decisions that have led up to this point is part of this. but shit, it absolutely sucks to have to be the person at the end of the brainstorm session when everyone is coming up with their best ideas and to have to say "guys, i don't think any of these things are possible unless we make some big decisions."

is that what happened at watcher HQ? i don't know. at this point, with radio silence from everyone, speculation is all we've got. but if you follow the thread of a bunch of creatives striking out on their own to make their own business after being burned by their former employer, despite not knowing really how to run a business, and then only hiring fellow creative people and not other people who actually run business things... well, all of this starts to make slightly more sense in WHY none of watcher's actions make sense. everybody wants to stick it to the man and be their own boss with their own business, until it actually comes to the hard parts of doing that. at that point people start to realize, "oh, maybe some of the things that existed at my old job were there for a reason, actually."

all this is why lots of creatives striking out and starting their own businesses don't work in the end. they're thinking about in terms of creative products still, when they really need to be focusing more on the "business" part of the "creative business." it's sad. it sucks. it destroys a lot of good ideas and good people, because one person in every company like that has to be the one who thinks practically. could this have been avoided if watcher had been hiring people all along to manage this business and not just adding people to add to the creative output? maybe. even then it might not have been enough to curb other predictable impulses that led us down this path.

i feel bad for watcher, and i feel bad for the fandom. but i can't help but wonder if this was always the kind of situation we were going to end up in, and we just missed some of the warning signs because ALL of us were thinking, "well, that could never happen to us. we're different. not the Ghoul Boys."

#watcher #watcher tv #two stupidly long thinkpieces in one morning? wow! what a bargain! #just don't ask which of my responsibilities i'm ignoring by typing all this out

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Spooky season needs spooky stuff.. >:3

So can I request the digital circus cast (minus Caine)meeting a Child Spirit Y/n headcanons,who like Kinda possesed/went inside the game to find they’re killer for some reason? They are eerily quiet and like to stare but if talked to very sweet but quick to snap in distrust because..well trust is what got them killed in the first place? They’re a bit bloody..and a eyeball sometimes hangs out?? Like vhs horror stuff

Sorry I’m being so descriptive,I hope you are a nice day!

OOOoo yes time for more spooks!

Also I am having a nice night, thanks! (and I hope you are having a nice day/night too!)

......

Pomni

To make a long story short, you got murdered while wearing the headset, and that tethered your spirit to TADC.

As expected, you lost memories of who you were--except for the knowledge that someone killed you because you trusted them too much, and you believed the answers were inside this very game.

Your character ends up looking like a child's ghost costume: a white bedsheet stained in blood and one of your eyeballs occasionally wanting to pop from its socket.

Caine (who was very much bewildered at your arrival) declares that you're part of an "exclusive Halloween update" and changes up the tent and grounds to have more spooky flair.

But Pomni clearly wants no part of it, and she can tell you don't either.

You're clearly a kid who is (somehow) handling the situation of being stuck in this game better than her, yet when she tries asking you about it....all you do is stare back.

She swears she can hear static noises and whispers she can't decipher--all in all getting a...very creepy vibe from you.

Initially she decides to keep her distance, afraid you were secretly some virus or Abstraction underneath that sheet.

But that changes when you're walking by the rooms one night, and you pass by Pomni's door, hearing her quietly crying.

Although you weren't inclined to get close to anybody here, you were concerned. And since you weren't actually coded into the game, you didn't have to follow any of its rules--and that allowed you to enter her room without a key.

At first you scared the shit out of her, but after realizing it's you, she lets you sit beside her, eventually venting about how badly she missed her real home.

"Everyone keeps telling me "oh this place is so much better" or "get used to it"...but what if I don't wanna do that? I don't care if my old life was bad...I-I can't take anymore of this.." Her sobs grow louder. "I wanna wake up in my own bed knowing my real name!!"

"...I miss home, too," is all you say in response. Yet it's more than enough to calm her down.

For once, you're not trying to brush her off or force her to "cheer up" and accept her reality. You made her feel heard.

"Yeah..me, too....sh-should I thank you for agreeing..?" She sniffles, seeing your subtle nod, before you leave her be, not wanting to get too attached.

Ironically, she was able to sleep a little easier after talking to you.

Jax

From the get-go, he's gonna be real nosy and curious.

Since not even Caine himself expected your arrival and found out that you don't follow the "rules" like everyone else...Jax is gonna try his damnedest to understand you and see what makes you tick.

But he's gonna be disappointed quickly since you don't respond much to him (or anybody in general).

"So...ya like Halloween?"

"........"

"....thought so. Good talk, new kid."

You definitely act like a legit ghost--doing nothing but stare, move things around, and pop up unexpectedly.

Eventually, his curiosity leads to him visiting your room (which has no key), and he discovers many drawings on the walls.

Most depicting a dead person wearing a headset.

What he found most disturbing was a journal that contained his and the others' names..

From what he's gathering...you're suspecting one of them of murdering your real world-self.

But he doesn't get much time to ponder this as you show up, angry at him for intruding.

You make yourself look even bloodier and scarier, with both of your eyeballs hanging from their sockets and staring at him.

"Get out."

Those two simple words put the fear of god in him.

Jax runs out faster than a jackrabbit, colliding with Gangle in the process. Her comedy mask falls off again, but he catches it and looks at her.

"J-Jax..?" She realizes his fur is standing up on all ends, and he looks terrified....even more than he did after realizing the circus was his forever home.

But he just shoves the mask back into her hands and leaves without saying a word.

He never speaks of what he found in your room that day.

Kinger

He thought his eyes were weird...until you came along and periodically had to put your own eyeball back into its socket.

"It's good to know I'm not alone!" He nervously chuckles, only to be met with your eerie silence.

Sometime later, he suggests showing you his insect collection, and it does pique your interest.

You did love all things "creepy" and "crawly".

Yet you're adamant about going to his pillow fortress after he invites you.

It reminds you of the ones you used to build all the time, up until...

Fortunately, Kinger recognizes your reluctance and just brings one of his bug boxes to you so you can look at it.

He could infodump about the various critters for hours, with nothing but nods and quiet "mhms" from you, and he's happy.

In general, he doesn't mind your quiet personality.

Although you still sometimes jumpscare him unintentionally like Gangle often does.

Tbh he's a good father figure and recognizes that you're just a kid who got trapped in this game unfairly.

Even so, you try to keep your distance and looks at him suspiciously if he starts acting too nice.

He was quiet aloof, and you weren't sure how he would act on any given day.

Gangle

After accidentally spooking her (by simply existing in the same room as her), she breaks her comedy mask off.

But immediately she feels guilty for screaming and tries scrambling to fix it, hoping you weren't mad at her.

Yet all you do is stare, not looking angry or anything at all (it's hard for any of the performers to see your expression in general, aside from your hanging eye, but still).

Poor Gangle is just afraid you'd turn into a scarier version of yourself.

When she keeps cutting her ribbon fingers(?) on the ceramic pieces, you come over and clean it up for her, taking it away despite your own hands bleeding.

The implications that you were able to shed blood and nobody else were a little disturbing to her..but she's glad you're not offended by her screaming.

Although she wonders where you're going with her mask..

Later on, you knock on her door and present it fully fixed.

Except...it looks more Halloweenish with an evil smile painted on it, messily glued together.

'Oh god I hope this doesn't turn me evil or anything..' She thinks, putting on a smile as she takes it anyways.

Yet you remain where you are, staring and clearly waiting for her to try it on.

And so she does, and it turns her into a very chaotic Halloween lover, acting even more mischievous than Jax and allowing her to finally get her revenge for all his pranks.

In the end, you gain a decent friendship with her, subtly protecting her from Jax's bullying.

Ragatha

Seeing that you're so distant from the rest of the gang has her worried.

Some of them might consider your loose eyeball creepy, but she's not gonna judge you on that (besides, she's missing an eye altogether so she can't say much anyways).

Howeve,r she's the first to find out how strong your distrust of everyone is.

"[Y/n]? I don't think it's good to be isolating yourself like this. I know you hate being here and Caine's a weirdo..but...we're all in this together. You can trust us-"

"Don't." You warn, putting on a frightening display of anger that sends her tumbling to the ground, sending chills up her spine.

"Trust" became something you didn't take lightly, as the last time you put your trust in someone....you ended up dead, turning into a literal ghost in the machine (that was your gaming system).

Despite this, Ragatha doesn't run away.

Like Pomni, she understands that you're just a kid who's confused and lost.....and clearly had serious trust issues.

But she's determined to help you through that, even if you keep scaring everybody away.

She's got motherly instincts, and she hopes that in due time you'll learn to warm up to her.

Zooble

"A bedsheet worn as a costume? That's a classic."

She's seen weirder things during their time in the circus, so you don't faze her too much.

Only when you snap at Ragatha or somebody who was trying to be nice to you does she raise an eyebrow.

Honestly, they 100% understand that you just wanted to be alone sometimes, and she respects that.

It's suffocating trying to act all cheery and go along with every damn activity Caine tries to get everyone involved in (but lucky for you, he can't make you follow along).

Especially since she believes he made up that stupid "Halloween update" as lazy way to explain your sudden arrival.

The only time you do interact with Zooble is after she yanks Jax by his ears, and they hear this eerie-sounding giggle behind them.

When she turns around, you're just standing there motionless, staring at her.

Somehow, they just know you were smiling underneath that costume, which makes her smile, too.

"Maybe I should pull him out a hat next time, huh?" She jokes after letting him go, and you giggle once more as he hits the ground.

#clanask #anonymous #tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc kinger #tadc gangle #tadc jax #tadc zooble #ghost reader #child reader #tw body horror #platonic #headcanons #halloween

[peachesofteal]

Would darling in the baby trap au ever get an abortion as a way to take control back? Simon and Johnny took her choice away so she takes that hope from them? I love all the different routes of the au you’ve written so far!

TW: abortion

18 + / dark themes, reader had an abortion, angst / baby trap au / Darling doesn’t know about the baby trapping - this is not after 'spits', just exists somewhere in baby trap au

The bed feels more empty than it ever has before.

The guys are dead asleep, Johnny curled along your side, a hand possessively resting overtop your belly button. Simon is snoring a little, from laying his back, his fingers curled on the inside of your thigh. Like a tether.

You’re laying awake, staring at the ceiling, counting your breathing. A very large part of you wants them to sleep in for hours so you can delay the inevitable. The conversation looms in the back of your mind, like a ticking time bomb, and even though you’ve rehearsed it a million times… you still weren’t sure how exactly you were going to tell them.

They wanted this.

They had wanted this so badly, they were so thrilled when you had told them you were pregnant.

It was shocking. It was unsettling. You always believed you and Simon, lived on the same page. And then, to be so blindsided by their unadulterated glee... it was a betrayal.

And you couldn't even be mad at them, for being happy about an accident. For embracing such a big change with a positive attitude.

But you could be in control of your own body. Make your own decisions.

Johnny stirs, and then he pulls you closer, shifting until your legs are intertwined with his and you’re partially rolled over, your face buried in his chest.

“Good morning.” He whispers with a kiss, a loving touch that’s placed in your hair.

“Morning.” You mumble, and his arms tighten around you.

“How’re ye feeling?” You’ve been ‘sick’ the past few days, with what they thought were pregnancy symptoms, but in reality, was just the remnants of medication.

“Better.” You take a long breath, and then let out slowly. “Johnny, I- I have something I need to tell you. Both of you.” You don’t look up from where your face is pressed to his warm skin, and when he tries to peel you off, you resist, pushing back. Simon’s snoring stopped a minute ago, and now his chest presses to your back.

“What is it?” He smooths a hand over your forehead, and then waits.

“I…” fuck. The air in the room is now non existent, your body buzzing with a weird numbness that spreads through your veins like an illness. Everything feels heavy, and you try to relax enough to speak.

“Darling?” Johnny encourages and you close your eyes.

“I had an abortion.”

The energy in the room shifts. Johnny holds his breath, and Simon sits halfway up, while you clench your eyes shut like a child hiding from a monster.

“It’s why I’ve not been feeling well… I got the pills from the clinic. Last week. Took them the other day.”

“You…” Johnny says, and his arms go limp around you, the motion alone enough to bring tears to your eyes.

Simon doesn't let go, but his arms tighten, and you steel yourself against the swell of your feelings, the pain, the sadness, welling up into a giant pit that swallows your entire stomach.

"Why?" It's a simple word, a question in a syllable, but the answer is vast, and complicated, and hard.

"I didn't want it. Wasn't ready, to be a mom. I felt like I was trapping you both-"

"We wanted to keep it." Johnny rebukes, tone frosty, colder than you've ever heard it before. It makes you feel nauseous.

No. No, it's not fair. It's your body, not yours.

"What about what I wanted? It's... it's my body! Not yours-"

"But it was our baby too." He seethes, sitting up, jerking away from you. Simon still holds you, stroking a soothing hand up and down your arm.

"Johnny." It sounds like a warning, but one Johnny doesn't heed.

"How could ye be so selfish? How could ye not even tell us? We wanted that baby! Wanted it together, all of us, darling. As a family!" His outburst, the words, shock you, and tears pour down your cheeks, chest shuddering with sobs while Simon keeps you from moving.

"That's enough, Johnny." Simon's voice takes on the edge, the authority, and Johnny snaps his mouth shut, staring at you, saying nothing. Hopelessness etched across his face.

"I'm s-sorry." You sob. "I didn't want it." He says something in response, something you can't understand, and you turn away, seeking the warmth of Simon's body, eager to hide from his anger.

You hurt him. You betrayed him.

Simon rubs your back, whispering to you that you're okay, that you need to focus on breathing, that everything will be okay, but all you feel inside of yourself is a vacant, gaping hole. A hole where your heart used to be. A hole where a baby used to be.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." you cry, hoping Johnny hears your apology, your plea.

The bedroom door slams in response.

#peaches asks #peaches writes #baby trap au #tw abortion #tw dark themes #tw dark and twisty #soap x reader x ghost #female reader

[genericpuff]

Forgive my ignorance, but how does RS glorify sex workers?

Again I'm assuming this is referring to my recent post, that was a reblog, not my own post.

HOWEVER, I do agree with the OP that Rachel has a... skewed idea of sex work, how it works, and what risks it comes with for the people involved in it. With how it's depicted through LO, I get the sense Rachel is both uneducated on the topic and is attempting to write about it from a very privileged standpoint.

I get that's probably a loaded assumption but that's just the hunch I get. For starters, Rachel can only seem to give nymphs - the canonical lower class in LO - jobs that typucally involve them being subservient to the higher class. The most common job we see the nymph characters have is personal assistant - Echo becomes a PA to Hera, Thetis was a PA to Zeus, Minthe was a PA to Hades, and Leuce just recently applied to be a PA to Hades. The only nymph we see with a job that's adjacent to the gods is Amphitrite and we never actually get to see her do anything, she may as well just be a handbag accessory to Poseidon (which is a damn shame because she slays and I'd love to see more of her!) Even Psyche, who's turned into a goddess, is only given that gift of immortality because Zeus needs her to spy on Apollo for him. Prior to that, she spent time as a nymph who was - well, wouldn't you believe it - a servant to Aphrodite.

Now what does that have to do with the topic of sex work? Mainly, that Rachel writes these characters as if being directly subservient to a god is the best they'll ever get. And it's especially present in the original debut of Leuce, which was shown in the previous post but I'll post it here again for clarity:

Besides the fact that it's once again demonizing Demeter for zero reason (because sure why not), and besides the fact that it proves she designed Leuce as a flower nymph from the very beginning (and is now trying to retcon it because she knows she messed up, Leuce is an oceanid, not a flower nymph), this is just one of the many examples of Rachel glorifying or fetishizing the concept of being a sex worker. And being a sugar baby is adjacent to sex work (though there are debates on whether or not they are exactly the same thing, there are multiple schools of thought on it and considering I am neither a sugar baby nor a sex worker I will not share my opinion on it as my opinion isn't valid in that discussion), they're both roles that are predominantly occupied by women and involve a woman partaking in relationships - either short term or long term - for financial compensation.

The reason why I can agree that Rachel glorifies this is that she seems to be tone deaf to what life is actually like for a lot of sugar babies and sex workers. It's not just "sex for money", women are very often abused, stalked, harassed, even killed in this industry. And yet she seems to write about it as if being a sugar baby is the best thing a woman could ever dream of being because who wouldn't want to just sit around looking cute and getting paid? When in reality being a sugar baby comes with a lot more strings attached, it's not just "sitting around looking cute", it's putting yourself in the position of financial dependency on someone who you'd better hope doesn't turn out to be an abuser (and there are a LOT of people in the sugar baby sphere who do it just so they can get away with abusing women.)

It also doesn't help that Rachel writes about it as if only certain types of women are allowed to be celebrated for what they do. Persephone sits around doing nothing while her billionaire husband pays her way? She's a boss babe. Leuce got sick of Demeter and decided to just become a sugar baby in the city? It's going well for her. But then Minthe is someone who's financially tethered to a man who's regularly shown to be abusive? Well it's her fault for getting herself into it, she shouldn't have led him on like that, she's just being vapid and materialistic and she deserves to be cheated on.

I will add, though, that it's weird Rachel chose to debut Leuce in this way and is now making her out to be this vapid, dumb, delusional bimbo. Let's not forget who Leuce was in the original myths - the first wife of Hades. Rachel is so allergic to the concept of Persephone not being at the center of everything that she can't even let Hades have a life before Persephone (despite the fact that he's been alive for centuries before she was born). He dumped Minthe for Persephone, and when he called Hera by an old pet name, Persephone winds up blaming herself for being jealous and not analyzing the fact that Hades has a history of getting into emotional and physical affairs, even with his own brother's wife.

But I digress. The point is, the glorification in this case really feels like Rachel thinks being a sugar baby/sex worker is easy (it's not) and by extension thinks that lower class people should only aspire to be sugar babies/sex workers because lower class people are lazy and want money for doing "nothing" (*again, being a sugar baby or a sex worker is not easy) and only higher class women are allowed to be celebrated for wanting that and empathized with if it goes wrong - whereas if lower class people get hurt by it, welp, that's their fault for being materialistic, they should have put a ring on it and made it "real" (see: Minthe).

That's not necessarily what Rachel thinks, but that's the messaging that's apparent in her writing. It's very often pitting women against each other and making it out that only certain "types" of women are allowed to be empathized with or cheered for. And in LO's case, it's very clear what "type" of woman that is.

#lo critical #lore olympus critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

[ruthlesslistener]

Found your Twitter/hollow knight art doing research for a thing and thought it was really good. I like your art, outlook, and creativity. Know you have a fan.

(P.S. any ideas on the "reproduction" of Unn and the Radiance?)

HA now THAT'S not how I expected that side of my art to be discovered! Hope you had fun though, because I certainly had a blast coming up with those designs. I really need to get back to drawing in general- maybe refreshing those old refs would be a good start. They could use a little sprucing up

Unn has the standard land slug reproductive anatomy (though I have thought of going with leopard slug weirdness), in that she can inseminate or be fertilized via penis fencing, and has those 'love darts' to shank other gods in order to get them to carry more of her eggs. Been a long while since she's used them, though, because she's very very old and no longer has any interest in reproduction, either sexually or asexually. She's phasing into that 'ancient god dying via slowly becoming one with their element and ceasing to be an entity as we know it' part of the Higher Being's life cycle that not many get to, and she's sticking with it rather than being busy sticking others

Radi, however, I see as sexless by choice, simply because she doesn't want any aspect of her creations to be ruled by other gods (and also because she just has no desire to try sexual reproduction). May Higher Beings stick with sexual reproduction post-ascension because even if their bodies are no longer tethered to the material plane, their new forms still tend to follow the same concepts as their old selves, so sexual reproduction still amounts to merging traits with another in order to create recombinant offspring- it's just that the genetic material is now made of Soul or Essence instead of nucleic acids (creating young by mingling two souls is also possible, but sex is fun so hey, why not?). Radi wants none of that- if she creates or reproduces, then she wants it to be 100% her creation, with no outsider influence. So she's essentially sexless. This works out well for her because her and Grimm were formed by abstract constructs manifesting into reality rather than a godling metamorphising into a Higher Being, so she has no memories of bodily urges to sway her, but even if she did, she'd get rid of them. She doesn't like the idea of bodily needs swaying what she consciously wants, which routine hormone cycles would do to her (which is one of the few traits she shares with the Pale King, not that either would ever admit to it)

#the difference is that pk was born a larval godling and grew up to metamorphise into an ascendant #so he already knows of the needs of the flesh and was dependent on their rituals- hence his new body mirroring it even though its soul #bookwyrmonastring #reply #hk headcanons

[sapphic-woes]

When You Met Her pt. 7

A/N: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me– anyways, enjoy my subpar return. MINORS DNI

Word Count: 1k. AO3 LINK

____________

"You're…marked." 

The statement is indigestible. It's a sharp bone stuck in the back of your throat. You fear you'll choke on it from pure shock. Based on the numbness prickling all over your body, perhaps you already have.

You somewhat welcome the thought. It offers a faux sense of peace.

You stare down at your hands. They're littered with tiny cuts and shine with ointment. Ashen knuckles grip your knees with a slight tremble. Your entire body is stiff. The silence is unnerving. 

Viktor is taking far too long to reply, and you can feel his eyes on you. He's waiting. He's watching. He's observing you. 

Unsurprisingly, his relentless gaze doesn't help ease your nauseousness.

You want an explanation. You don't want him to speak at all. Is it fear or hope? What was the name of this sensation? You hate that you don't know. 

Eventually, Viktor speaks. It's anticlimactic.

"Yes." It still feels like a bullet to the chest. Hurts like one too.

He's marked, rings on and on in your head. Was it really a lie? The mere prospect makes you breathless, reeling back involuntarily. An omega just like me. Marked.

Your heart is a hummingbird beating against your ribs. It takes an effort to calm it down. No matter what lay before you, you'd grown accustomed to reminding yourself of reality. 

It was always too early to entertain hope. It was always reckless to believe others. It was always dangerous to forget what you were…

…and it was never too late to expect yourself to suffer because of it.

"But you used to be a…" Slave felt like an insult to the clearly successful omega. How could you bring him down to your level? You didn't dare say the words, instead letting them linger on your lips like a dirty secret. However, Viktor scoffs with a shrug.

"A "bitch in heat" that "deserved" to be treated like property? I was. For a few years, actually. My alpha saved me."

What? Alpha's didn't save omegas. They only took from them. But then again, what about Sevika?

She had taken you away from that prison and seemed like a kind master. She wanted to be called by her name. She didn't yell at Viktor when he snapped at him. Sevika hadn't taken anything from you, at least not yet. Whenever her stormy eyes met yours…

It feels safe. Warm. Protecting…

You force yourself to focus back in on the conversation, cheeks warming up as you speak.

"C-can I, uh, ask about–is it a–are you…?" 

"Not bonded. This is a claim. But I'm showing you this precisely because it is a claim. That…tactic they used didn't work against my claim, so it doesn't stand a chance against a bond. You can still have a mate, y/n." 

"Oh. I see. I can…" you trail off, numb to the news. This should make you happy. It somewhat does. But it's a distorted feeling of happiness. It's plagued with fear. 

You're property. 

Panic festers in your heart. It reminds you of the consequences. 

A tool. A product. 

It was dangerous to forget. A single mistake could cost you your life.

You do what you're told. You take what's given to you. You don't complain.

It was easier to survive that way.

The giddiness shimmers down. Reality is a winter breeze freezing over your heart. 

It's tethering you to the anchor of your past. You let it.

Nothing changes with or without the ability to mate. Regardless, you don't have the right. You have to get permission. You doubt your new alpha will allow it.

What alpha would willingly let go of their omega?

You shut your eyes. It would be foolish to lose sight of your place and forget how little control you had over your own wellbeing.

"I can't…I'm not allowed." Viktor frowns, bushy eyebrows knit in confusion. You lick your lips, continuing with an anxious jitter.

"W-wouldn't Sevika be angry? She is the alpha that owns me…so I am hers." Immediately after speaking, it's sour. Viktor sucks in a sharp breath, and his voice is remarkably steady.

"Y/N. What does Sevika smell like to you?" The question throws you off. You wonder if the truth isn't something you should say aloud. However, you aren't too naive to lie. No matter how nice Viktor is, he's the one with access to authority in this situation.

Besides, he already knows something. It's evident enough in those amber eyes of his. He's asking for confirmation…and who would he inform, should you lie? 

Who would come to rip the truth from you instead?

The thought makes you shiver. Punishments from lying differed greatly from telling an awful truth. You'll gladly take the latter.

"L-like…spices and cinnamon." Viktor nods encouragingly.

"Good, thank you for telling me y/n. Now…what does her scent make you feel?" Huh? Did such information matter? Viktor's serious gaze says it does, and you swallow.

"...I…I feel nervous. It's warm?"  You mumble, and Viktor nods, smiling softly as he slowly speaks.

"Y/N, I'll be frank. With the environment you've been exposed to…it should be impossible for an alpha's scent not to instill you with fear. Unless…you are a bonded pair."

What? Your wide eyes make Viktor grimace.

"Why the hell am I the one doing this part…y/n, I started talking about bonds because it's clear you have one with Sevika. You've been scenting her because her smell calms you down, right? Such an immediate connection like that…that only happens with bonded pairs." 

You listen, but can't process the words. You, bonded? To Sevika? An alpha that seemed more dominant than any you'd met before? How was something like you supposed to be…meant for her?

"N-no, there must be a mistake. I can't–it's impossible. I'm not fit to be hers, o-or anyone's–!"

"I don't…need a "fit" omega." Her soft, low rumble of a voice makes you jump. Sevika leans against the doorway, arms crossed. Her unreadable, gray eyes fixate on you, and you swallow.

"...Just rest." A beat of silence follows before Viktor coughs, and Sevika's jaw sets.

"You…fuck. Make a list. For the house. After you're discharged, you'll be staying with me…" Sevika finally meets your bewildered stare once again, and an overwhelmingly…beautiful scent fills your nose.

"...and I know how important nesting is. I won't make you feel like a goddamn stranger in your own home." With the harsh words, Sevika leaves as quickly as she appeared. You're left to soak in her words, stomach flipping when you realize what she meant.

You were going to live with her.

#sevika x reader #sevika x you #arcane sevika #arcane x reader #arcane headcanon #sevika headcanon #arcane viktor

[ghouljams]

rereading ur aus and seeing so many ppl share their ocs made me want to join the dance line ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (this is my first ask non-anon and prolly like my third ever ask so sorry for the word jumble, im nerVOUS).

I think I will name my little blorbo Stitch. The reason for her name is that she sells handmade plushies online (+ works part time at the local art store to make ends meet) and she gets hurt easily that it isn't too surprising for her to get stitches the various falls and cooking injuries. She's neighbors with Love and they get along very well (girlys with more than a few screws loose) and even gifted a green teddy bear to cabbage when she found out abt the changeling. Stitch is fully human, and at first it was for shits and giggles but it quickly became set that she had like, no magic. nothing. empty like a brick. It's to the point where, idk, I hope this works in this world, even the most normal human at least gets goosebumps/bad feeling (brush it off as the weather or just life stress) when faes are around, but she just don't feel shit. She doesn't have nor retains any magic, so faes can still get hooks in her, but like too strong of a tug and it would *physically* come straight off. Hence her random injuries, and the depth of the injury will depend on the weight of the tether. Tapping doesnt work on her either but it does make her throw up and physically ill.

Still figuring out how this would've happened, but so far my fav idea is that a fae scared her so bad as a child that something went wrong. I know this is mixing cultures, but my mum once told me (and i cannOT for my life find online material supporting this belief) that in the chinese culture one of the ways they explain why children see shit is because they retain the most connections to the Heaven Realm as newly reincarnated subjects (and the connection fades with age and blah blah). So maybe Stitch was seeing the faes so vividly that shit wrecked her to the point a screw goes loose (mentally, emotionally, magically (??) and physically (her hair grows gray now)).

The mental image that started this all is just Stitch walking in the streets looking like a fucking porcupine with all the tethers attached to her and maybe Konig passing by feeling confused that this human?? showed absolutely?? no sign of discomfort (which i assume should be unusually in his presence)??? Ghost once tried (for the first and last time) touching one of the hooks when she was chatting with Love and watches in slight horror (and surprised) as she starts bleeding from a cut on her arm as the hook disappears. Stitch just slaps duct tape (the only thing she had with her) over the wound to stop the blood with a big ol' grin and "It happens :)". 1fae1 def heard abt this incident and maybe even Price is befuddled

Once again, sorry for the word vomit, hope u at least enjoyed reading this mess and here's a giggle scribble of Stitch and Ghost + her dumb ugly mug <3

Love love love love love Stitch.

My Sister's OC Hell is also neighbors with Love, so join the party!!

Yeah people like Stitch exist in the fae au and I have not gotten a chance to talk about them because most of the darlings have fairly run of the mill human shit going on. BUT The humans that have just zero magic, and don't retain magic to any degree are called "Sinks". Y'know because the magic just sort of sinks into them and is lost forever. The fae are a little iffy around Sinks because yeah their hooks don't catch them right, and I think even for Witch it's like walking past a hole in reality.

Konig would be very confused, Sinks aren't super common and he would probably follow poor Stitch for a while just trying to figure out what was going on. At least Ghost has to play nice because Love likes Stitch. Love would like Stitch a LOT. Mostly because she's like a golden retriever, but also because she would be so excited to have someone to craft with! Yes, please come over to her flat and sew while she journals, here hold to baby so she doesn't get fussy, no don't worry about Ghost staring he just does that.

#ghoul speaks #oc talk #Spec always says that she would love Love and think Ghost was a weirdo #my man is dating a dime and acting like a freak #Hell and Ghost are not friends lmao

[femmefatalevibe]

do you ever have trouble reconciling the focus on aesthetics/making money that dark femininity tends to have as a feminist/anti-capitalist?

Hi love! This is a great thought-provoking question. In short, in some ways yes, and in some ways I say yes/no/idk. I believe that it all comes down to the reason why someone is attracted to the dark feminity aesthetic and the financially-focused culture surrounding it. Personally, I'm naturally drawn to the creativity and craftsmanship aspect of elements – like the outfits, environments, beauty routines, editorial images, etc. – of the dark feminity aesthetic. I see the value of creating several mood boards and similar activities to find your personal style and discover the best wardrobe staples for you that you can style/repurpose in several different ways.

I also believe in investing in a few items (clothes, home decor, etc.) that are beautifully constructed and, therefore, made to last. At the same time, though, unless you're purchasing resale/vintage items, I do believe that constant inspiration could further issues of overconsumption, which I do not really support in principle. Like everyone else who is conscious of this issue, I try to be as mindful as I realistically can be of my consumption habits.

When it comes to making money, I believe that financial freedom, considering that we are forced to live in a capitalist system (you still need a roof over your head, food to eat, healthcare, etc. no matter your beliefs and this is our only way most of us can maintain these necessities at this point in time, at least in the U.S.) is a feminist pursuit as it gives you the means to do as you please and the power to make more decisions that align with your values/ability to invest in your community (hopefully for mentorship/positive change). I see a huge difference between encouraging financial greed (something I could never support) and promoting self-sufficiency that doesn't compromise the prioritization of a social safety net (like many capitalist/mixed economic systems outside of the U.S.). I believe the issue is more than we are not set up to win as a culture, especially for the millennial/gen Z generations. The failure of the system and greed/power imbalances within the systems are the roots of all evil – not the pursuit of making money itself.

I believe the areas where feminism and capitalism truly butt heads are in the dynamic of committed partnership/ parenthood and a desire to perform for the male gaze. Typically, women are forced to either perform two full-time jobs – one for paid and the other for unpaid labor or purely an unpaid role, which makes her financially dependent on someone else and creates an inherent power imbalance that tethers women to the patriarchy and its ties to capitalist systems of oppression. I believe that my decentralization of men and childfree lifestyle (two lifestyle choices that I believe the dark feminity movement encourages women to pursue if they choose to) has allowed me the mental freedom to not have to face this conundrum. Honestly, I believe being single and childfree by choice is one of the main ways I'm able to equally feel in alignment with my "dark feminine" side and my feminist/pro-social-safety net values.

However, on a societal level, I do believe that this issue is something I have difficulty reconciling as the nuclear family/idealization of the nuclear family (even if legal/logistically disjointed) is the greatest enabler of capitalism, – the isolationism, hierarchy, performance of gender roles, comphet, it promotes, etc.

Anyways, these are my half-baked thoughts on the subject.

TL;DR: I believe the best way to break the system is to find unconventional ways to navigate within the current system that feels authentic to you and enable you to use your values as a roadmap to help you navigate the realities in front of you – contorting the pragmatic elements of your daily life to cater to your ideology, not the other way around.

Hope this was helpful in some way xx

#femmefatalevibe #feminist #feminism #dark feminine energy #dark femininity #it girl #high value woman #queen energy #dream girl #female power #the feminine urge #female excellence #capitalist bullshit #capitalist system #anti capitalism #women's empowerment #womens rights #gender roles #human rights #q/a

[funnywormz]

not to get too Deep about it but i think that lister's longing to be with kochanski is, as much as anything, a mask for his longing to be with other humans in general and longing for normalcy.

even before he goes into stasis, lister is a pretty lonely and isolated person. sure, he has friends, but he doesn't really have any family to speak of anymore and all him and his friends do together is get completely sloshed out of their brains at every possible opportunity. he's millions of miles from his home on a massive spaceship, adrift in a universe he doesn't comprehend, labouring away in a job he hates.

then kochanski comes along, and she becomes like a tether to reality for him. in the "infinity welcomes careful drivers" book, lister's relationship with kochanski is described as being brief but happy, fun and more importantly, very normal. they sit in bed watching movies together, they go drinking together, they make each other laugh and tell each other abt their lives. it makes sense that he'd crave simple, normal, human companionship, and that he'd latch onto kochanski for providing him with that.

she becomes part of his "plan" to live on fiji and have a farm and be happy with kochanski and frankenstein by his side. even when she leaves him after only a few weeks, at least she's still there. the prospect of winning her back is very possible for him. for him, she represents hope and love, a reason to keep going.

then, he goes into stasis, she dies in the cadmium leak, and by the time lister wakes up 3 million years later, the entire human race is dead along with her.

of course he'd desperately cling onto his memories of the one person who had actually made him feel normal, someone who had made him happy in a simple, easy way. sure, he does love her, but i think his love for her becomes less and less about her and more about his love for other humans in general, for a life that was simple, a life he could understand.

now he's stuck in the middle of deep space, and things make even less sense than they did 3 million years earlier.

i think all he really wants is just to go home.

but lister can't go home. home doesn't exist anymore.

#sorry im at work and this thought was bouncing around in my head so i typed it up on my break #sorry if it doesnt make much sense lol #red dwarf #dave lister

[cecezvault]

being so angry that you're about to explode, but also being so tired and sad and so done that instead of lashing out or swearing or being a bitch you just... lay down. you fall asleep. you go on, feeling all of the same feelings but you can't do anything. day after day as it worsens, the only thing you know you can truly manage is a smile.

"life goes on" you want to say, but you feel like an imposter as the words are spoken, you never truly believed that, you just wanted everyone else to. you slowly rot in a puddle of your own thoughts, soon turning into an ocean in a blink of an eye, or a teardrop from those eyes.

you start to drown, many hands reaching out to save you, but you don't trust any of them. you cant anymore. after all that's happened, how can they trust you either? you continue to rot. nothing feels real anymore. the feelings don't go away like they said they would. they linger over your decaying body that cannot move, cannot speak, cannot feel.

real people have feelings, you think to yourself. the only person you can count on is yourself. but that's a lie too- after this, you wonder if your trust doesn't even reside with your own mind.

day after day of your thoughts consuming you, the rot and decay the only thing you are at this point. there is no end, you think to yourself. reality is shifting. you don't feel connected to it, apart of it even. you are far from real. you are far from believing you are real.

it seems like this feeling goes on forever. at this point, hands have stopped reaching. they have given up, tired of waiting for you to take it, to have faith. at least, that's what you believe.

the illusion begins to waver. you see through the haze, seeing something reaching into the waters of thought you drown yourself in. you hesitate, but wonder what you have to loose. you take a peer closer, not knowing what to expect. you do not hope. you are numb.

a hand.

multiple, actually.

you do nothing except stand in shock. have they been there the whole time? you wonder to yourself. you have not moved, but the hands seem to move towards you.

shouts echo through the waters, tears fill your eyes. is this feeling? you wonder to yourself. you have not truly felt in months.

one of the hands is hovering above your head. this hand is special. it belongs to someone special. you feel as if you haven't seen their hand for years, but you know deep down it has always been there, extended. it has never left. none of them have. the only thing that has left is the trust in yourself to let them help you.

you hear a shout above the water, tears welling in your eyes as you look up.

please let me help you.

you blink away the melancholy, clinging onto this hope like life. it is life. you lift your hand, slowly, trembling, up to theirs, a splitting smile spreads across your face like a disease as you do.

they reach back.

they begin to lift- with all their might- but nothing happens. you are not lifted. you are stuck in the same ocean of thoughts.

you begin to slowly loose hope, your grip slipping. your problems burden you like chains, too heavy for one person to lift.

one person.

you feel another hand grab your arm.

please don't give up now.

another hand.

another.

four hands are grasping your arm, hauling you upwards. they heave and heave, and you begin to lift, slowly.

more shouts echo above the surface. you feel unanchored to the bottom of the endless sea, beginning to tether with reality again.

two more hands reach out, taking your other arm. heave, heave, heave, haul, haul, haul.

your head rises above the surface. you gasp in the air, you haven't felt this in forever. the oxygen fills your lungs all at once, feeling better then it ever did before, feeling needed, feeling.

you are brought to the surface fully, coughing up the choking, intoxicating water from your lungs. you stare down at the ocean.

it does not go on for miles. it is not neverending. it was you who thought of it that way. it wasn't your fault that you did. from the inside, it was forever.

you turn to everyone standing around you, staring at each and every one of them.

thank you, you sputter. the words come out in a choke.

a hand, the hand, the one who started it all, rests on your shoulder.

we would do it again.

tears trickle down your face, as you smile that same splitting smile again.

you did it. you are free.

#im not sure how to feel about this #is this poetry? #is this boring tell me in the comments #ilysm #poetry #words #words words words #tumblr writers #vent #vent poetry #word count is 814 if ur wondering idk i feel like saying that

[wistfulstarling]

Je t'aime

Something I wrote for a boy who doesn't even glance at me properly.

I love him. Something about the way he loves me. Something about the way he smiles.

He's the sun in spring, shining down on brilliantly colored flowers, and I'm a fallen petal desperately clinging to him.

I come alive with his touch. His mere voice is enough to ruin me. If I could, I would escape reality, to run away with him to someplace holy. If the gods granted me my wish, I would hide away with him to someplace sacred where I may worship the broken statue of love I've built, maddened by his warmth.

I love anger, bitter and blazing. The thing that has driven me, protected me from the world like a blanket of molten lava, forever my hide from the cold of reality. But I love him more. Revenge may be sweet but so is he. He's a cup of hot coffee, a blanket draped around my shoulders. He keeps me from being frozen.

And I love sadness. My only companion for a lonely millennia. The torturous droplets falling from dark rain clouds that bruise my skin. The shadows that coil themselves around me. But my little companion shies away whenever he is near. He is the gentle shelter from a cold downpour. He is the candle that illuminates my world.

My love. My muse.

Oh, how I love my muse.

His beauty is indescribable with mere words or colors or pictures. I write about him but my hands refuse to ache, my words keep flowing as love from my bleeding heart, hoping to tether my soul to his.

Some fall in love with their love. I drowned in his.

And never once have i felt the need to come up for air.

#lana del rey #lana is god #lana del ray aesthetic #lana del slay #yandere #obsessive love #writeblr #writing #yashi's writing #reading #girlblogging #tumblr girls #girlrotting #girlblog aesthetic

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I want to scream when I see this kind of stupidity...

https://www.tumblr.com/goblins-riddles-or-frocks/741136181017837568/you-said-this-the-ice-cold-fakeout-of-giving?source=share

I forgot to add that frankly, this obsession of people with trying to make Aleksander a potential rapist so seriously annoys me. The king is literally there for that. If Aleksander had really wanted to rape Alina like these people claimed, he could have done it, you have to stop the bullshit after a while. Especially since they don't even take into consideration that this scene where the Darkling comes to see Alina with Mal's face is ambiguous at best, completely stupid at best. Because in reality, all we know is that he appeared because she called him unconsciously and we don't even know if he really took the appearance of Mal or if Alina was asleep at a bad view... The Darkling doesn't confirm anything at all on this subject in volume 3. And if the Darkling really took Mal's apprenticeship, it's so stupid, because damn, how could he have do that ?! Exasperating. Honestly their messages make me sick, with the fact that they literally make everything sexual between Darklina in the wrong sense of the word to degrade this relationship.

TW: SA and R*pe.

Yeah I've made a few posts about that scene where the Darkling disguises himself as M*l and kisses Alina whilst she's half asleep and the scene itself is just a mess because it was too confusing for a number of reasons. The main one being it was very unclear on whether Alina had just imagined M*l's face, whether she was dreaming or whether the Darkling had actually disguised himself as M*l. It's only cleared up in the third book when Alina outright asks Aleksander why he disguised himself as M*l and that scene only added to the confusion and raised more questions as it didn't follow the previous lore set up in that Aleksander can only appear to Alina through the tether if she wants to see him and also if he can disguise himself as another person why hasn't he used it before and why doesn't he ever use it again? Seems like a very useful skill that would come in handy for more useful things than just kissing Alina.

To be honest though when it comes to the subject of consent LB made a bit of a mess of things full stop in her books. I see arguments where people claim any romantic interaction between Darklina is SA but they'll gloss over the fact that Nikolai also kissed her without her consent, very publicly and her response was to then physically assault him by kicking him (which I don't blame her to be honest) and its all played off as one big haha moment. Also, going back to the fake M*l scene, they get so caught up in the whole, but the Darkling is kissing her without consent, but ignore the context of the scene in that she and M*l have just argued because she caught him cheating, he proceeded to blame her for it and that she is only allowing him to kiss her in that scene because she hopes it'll mean he'll forgive her, not because she wants to kiss him but because she feels like she has to in order to fix things between them, that's just as messed up and honestly I was outraged by that scene because of that well before it was revealed that it was actually the darkling and not M*l. Honestly the whole scene is just a dumpster fire and needs to be chucked out but hey that's just my opinion.

As for the opinion that all the romantic interactions and kisses between darklina are SA, I've never interpreted it that way and definitely don't agree with that view. To me the kisses were there to show that connection that exists between the two of them. That despite being on opposite sides and having very different world views they still feel that attraction and that pull towards each other. It's something that they both fight against but that they still feel anyway. Its like Aleks' 'wanting makes us weak' line, Alina fights it because she thinks the darkling's tactics are wrong and she doesn't agree with his way of protecting the grisha and because she feels betrayed by him, the darkling fights it because his feelings for her are a distraction, for thousands of years his sole goal has been saving the grisha and he believes the sun summoner is the key to that goal, but his feelings, his wanting and longing for Alina distract him from that goal and starts to take precedence over it, which is why he comes to see that wanting as a weakness. But again despite fighting it and seeing it as a weakness they both still occasionally give in to that pull and connection and that's when they end up sharing these intimate and romantic moments throughout all three books, its why Alina despite everything still cries for him and grieves his death.

But you know antis are going to anti, them throwing trigger words around in an attempt to degrade darklina's relationship and the darkling himself is nothing new.

#darklina #answered #anti malina #anti leigh bardugo #anti antis

[respectthepetty]

Hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night - whichever you like more!

I know you're currently obsessing over Bed Friend, so I bring you questions.

Do you think the yellow lamp with a smile is supposed to be representative of something, or is its sole purpose to distract me from the scene?

2. There are several flashback scenes, but only one of them had these flashes of red and green around the characters. Do you have any theories as to why? Is it because that specific moment triggered Uea more than other moments?

Also, when is Saturday coming and why are there only 8 episodes to this show? 😔

@sliceduplife - It's the week of Lent, so I no longer operate on a morning/noon/night schedule. The only time that matters is how many days before Lent (two), how many days of Lent (40, technically 46), and after. Kind of like my obsession with this show - days before the next episode (five), how many weeks I still have this show (seven), and the aftermath.

I must cherish this show while I have it, so let me scroll through my mind's storage room to find some other queer friends to help with these answers.

Do you think the yellow lamp with a smile is supposed to be representative of something, or is its sole purpose to distract me from the scene?

In the infamous words of Bad Buddy's Pat and Pran:

Do you see the smiley lamp in the picture above? That smiley lamp launched a hundred think pieces on its symbolism in this scene, and a majority came down to two conclusions: 1) it's the light in a dark time aka it's the hope in this depressing scene where Pran gets his hopes swiftly crushed by an unknowing Pat, and 2) it's Pran immediately putting on his facade, so Pat doesn't suspect that Pran actually likes HIM and not Ink.

Applying those ideas to Bed Friend, the lamp is showing us that 1) even though Uea just had an alarming episode in the parking lot, there is hope that he will be okay, and 2) he will continue to wear this mask of happiness. Jade and King ask Uea if he is okay, and each time, he says he is fine. The lamp shows hope, but it also demonstrates how Uea covers up his pain with a smile.

Pran and Uea got their lamps from the same store - The Smile & Denial Store.

There are several flashback scenes, but only one of them had these flashes of red and green around the characters. Do you have any theories as to why? Is it because that specific moment triggered Uea more than other moments?

I'll let the boys at Semantic Error take this one:

Maybe you can already tell where I'm going with this. The color palette for a command and error code is a mixture of red, blue, and green. Right before we see Uea's flashback in the parking lot, the colors go into the negative.

In the parking lot, the darkness triggers his episode. The switch into the negative happens quickly, and when the color comes back, it has the error code written throughout the flashback.

Uea's brain can't tell what is happening right now and what is the past. Both of them are blending together at that moment, and he can't escape. His brain cannot distinguish reality, in the present. This is when King grabs him and tethers him to the present.

Later, we see Uea sitting on his couch thinking about his past, but he clearly knows he is thinking about the past instead of believing he is living that experience because the error code colors are missing.

Also, when is Saturday coming and why are there only 8 episodes to this show?

Me, refreshing this Gagaoolala page eighteen times an hour just in case the episode is released earlier.

Old Fashion Cupcake got me in five episodes. My Beautiful Man did me in with six. To My Star had me in less than two hours. If Bed Friend knows what to do with each one of these episodes, which by the looks of episode one, it does, I'll be thrilled with each episode and the story that is being told.

But I'm always a sucker for a second season!

#Bed Friend #Uea x King #episode 1 #the colors mean things #so does the lamp #the cinematography #the directing #King will be an anchor for Uea if he let's him be #Tie him to the present instead of him constantly living in his past

[letsgetsquiggly]

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt number 235

Length: 600 words

Audience: General

Themes: Grief, loss, lonliness

A sanctuary can become a cage in time. A plethora of binding memories and belongings that tether to now meaningless brick and mortar. The amalgamation of our empire, a little pink house, nestled in a row of perfectly paired pastel structures of its likeness. It was never I who belonged. It was we. A symbiotic entity whose existence was acknowledged in unison. Now, there is no we, despite everywhere in my vision demanding it is so. It pains me to leave this place. To look upon all that is and be plagued with what once was. The vibrancy of life around me is now astonishing and nauseating, though my sensibilities tell me this is comfort. Was comfort.

Standing on the threshold of the familiar abode causes me to double over, to be ill. Because it was once we and it is now I. Pink doesn't suit me, it suited us. And now I am left draped in a hue that contorts my reality and contradicts my truth. My home is not bright and gentle like a sky alight with the first rays of the rising sun. The world around me isn't the powder blue of a clear sky nor welcoming like springtime's first sprigs of grass. It was never me who hoped for the future and rejected the past. It was you. Now that I am a solitary entity, lacking my comforting parasite who swallowed my grief and shielded those around me from my inner truth. I lack color. I lack the desire to produce and create things in vibrant hues, and living in a picturesque rainbow reality only reminds me that I never truly belonged. This existence is much too beautiful for me without you. Sunken to my knees, gripping my curse of a midsection, I make the decision to paint my world in my likeness. I stumble, clumsily placing one determined barefoot in front of the other. Gripping a metal handle hot from the day's blaring and painful bright sun, I thrust open the metal hanger, which was an obstacle to the object of my hungry desire. Hunched over, stumbling, still clutching the ever-throbbing emptiness just below my ribcage, I blunder my way to the large handled metal can. A grey liquid oozed from the single ridge that lined its lid.

You had said it's much too drab for the new room. That something to house youth was meant to ring with the colors of potential, colors that excite and entice. There was no room for apathy in your vision of the future. Only excitement and endless possibilities. But you aren't here, and there is no we, only I, and I think it's perfect. I lug the oozing can from its forgotten place behind the now needlessly large car on a shelf in the darkened garage. I breathe a small breath of relief in the reprieve from the endless brightness of the midday, then continue my trek. It's heavy and slaps unforgivingly at my thigh as I attempt to carry the heavy can of forgotten gray paint to the front of our little pink house. I can't take it anymore. The fruits of our labor have become the receipt of my suffering. I know what will happen if I do the task before me, but I can't bear the thought of not. With a belabored sigh, or maybe a shriek, I heaved the can, lid open, and watched in relief as a brilliant ark of grey splattered across the face of my nostalgic prison. I don't care what they say. I'll paint the whole damn thing grey.

#flashfictionfridayofficial #flashfictionfriday #writeblr #flash fiction #if you read this thank you!

[murdermeadow]

Thoughts on Noah?

fucking hate that guy I hope he dies.

ACTUALLY THOUGH

ough. goodness. I have many thoughts yes. he is so perfect he's just a little guy he's all soft and squishy but also a little bit spiky as a treat. he's like if a guy was sooooo silly and skroinkly. I adore him

(in all seriousness though, I think he's a PERFECT protagonist and is amazingly written (like all Xenoblade characters are ofc). he displays such a good balance of optimism and determination for the world while still harbouring his own fears, but instead of letting those fears completely and utterly consume him like his past self did, he decided to let go of them and live on, in spite of all the hardship in the world. his friends keep him tethered to his current reality, and always remind him that there is a reason to keep going. the way he takes things so strongly proves how completely and utterly strong he is. like?? wow?? also that scene where he experiences all his past lives but still comes out yearning for a better future is so so perfect. he won't let tragedy get in his way, not ever. and I mean of course him and N are foils they're literally the same character but STILL the way they contrast eachother is literally perfect!!!! I adore the fact Noah still stays soft throughout it all, he still allows himself his feelings, they just don't consume him. I also adore his awkwardness at times. like yes his strength is immense but he's still a little boy. well, teenage boy. he doesn't know everything yet. he's just going off his gut. AND HES NOT AFRAID TO BE SAD OR SHOW ANY FEELINGS!!! HE WEEPS AND CRIES JUST LIKE ALL THE REST AND HE ISN'T ASHAMED OF SHOWING THAT. and most importantly: he stays kind. he has such a big heart. he plays for those he doesn't know, he plays for those considered to be enemies, because no matter what, they were people to him. and people deserve to get a proper send off. and of course, he loves all his friends so much and wants them to live good lives, but he isn't scared about being strict with it. he's got an attitude, but it doesn't make him an asshole. he's just excellent. amazing character 10/10 I want to squish him up so bad.)

#tysm for asking this btw #i really needed a moment to gather my thoughts on him tbh #but yet again. hes so perfect #(and my little princess) #(babygirl) #i have even more thoughts on him but they're tough to put into words so thats for later #TY FOR ASKING AGAIN #leechies rambles #xc3 #xc3 Noah #xenoblade Noah