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ashoss · 2 months

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patrol is fun :DD

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incorrectbatfam · 3 months

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Jason: Okay, so get this.

Jason: You make ten meals, you're not a cook.

Jason: You make twenty paintings, you're not an artist.

Jason: But you kill ONE PERSON—

#source: tiktok #jason todd #red hood #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw murder #tw food mention

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diabolichare · 3 months

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Is this courtship?

Danny is going to Gotham for his scholarship.

Good news! There's another halfa in the city, and he seems to be a good guy. Bad news: the nearest path to his university is through that halfta's haunt. He could take the long way around, but the costs would be more than his budget can handle, and he'd like to avoid dealing with a pissed-off Red Hood.

Hopefully the offerings will be enough to sate his annoyance (and help maybe, god that man has the most malnourished core he's ever seen).

Jason is getting incredibly confused over the strange gift baskets that keep appearing on his patrol routes.

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puppetmaster13u · 2 months

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Prompt 122

“Have you met Seal Hood?”

Dick paused almost mid-jump, having apparently turned to the wrong channel but also changed to the perfect one too. At least, perfect in the fact that he had just overheard an interesting thing from Jason, apparently forgetting that his comm was in fact on still.

Damian must have answered, because Jason snorted a laugh. “You can try getting him to leave, he’s taken over my bathtub and keeps eating all my food.”

Hold up, was- Dick had thought Jason was talking about a plush or something, but was he talking about a literal living animal seal??

“I’ll have you know I’m not going to make a poor little baby seal leave, and I’m not putting him in a zoo, brat.”

Oh Gotham, it was a real living animal seal. Dick about faced, rushing towards Jason’s safehouse. How did he get a seal? Why was it in his bathtub?? Why hadn’t he called the proper people for this sort of thing?! He had to get to the safehouse now to see this shit.

Baby Seal Danny <3

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Ghost Selkie Danny #Space Core Danny #Yes he looks like a lil ice (harp) seal but once he’s an adult he’ll be like a space seal lol #But for now he is tiny baby who is messing with Jason & his goonion for fun #Damian holding giant baby seal: This is my nephew #Dick who just fell through the window: What #Danny: I have miscalculated and gotten adopted but he’s not a fruitloop soo #Yes Hood’s Merry Men have made the seal-child a matching coat & hood #Danny eating all of Jason’s food: This is a hallucination #Jason who just came back from patrol to a tiny child in his safehouse: How did you even get in here #Child acquired

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oumu-omu · 10 months

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BE CAUGHT IN RED-HANDED (at manor)

Patrol at night, sleep in daytime. He does not have enough time to go grocery shopping.

Or maybe just being lazy.

Already too late when he realized his fridge is empty and he was damn hungry.

So, he chose the fastest solution.

*Feel shame to lose one of his hobby (aka. switching Tim's coffee to decaffeine) but worth it.*

#jason todd #red hood #tim drake #batfam #he’s not broke he just keep forgot to go shopping #no where to buy in midnight #sleep in day time #it ends up ‘hey i already know the place full of food even has a better quality why shouldn’t i just go grab(steal) some’#dc

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methoughtsphantom · 3 months

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Dead on Main prompt where Danny as a form of courtship begins to go around and learn from ancient ghosts how to do recipes lost in time to entice the cute crime lord in his neighborhood.

#jason keeps getting food in his safehouse and it freaks him out #but all the scans for poison come clean #so he smth eats it #like that scene in friends he keeps trying to recreate the recipe but can’t #dp x dc prompt #red hood #food as a love language #jason todd #danny fenton #danny phantom #dp x dc

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indulgentdaydream · 4 months

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Cooking Lessons

Jason Todd X Reader

My first x reader fic! Of course I had to go with jason. He’s the love of my life🥰 inspired by me not knowing how to properly cut a bell pepper yesterday and wishing somebody (cough cough, jason, cough) had been there to help me

(ps. for anyone who also doesn’t know how to cut a bell pepper!)

Not proof read!!

Warnings: use of feminine pet names (ex, princess) food mention, knife mention, knife use, one (1) use of profanity.

Jason walked into the kitchen, sweating from his workout. He found you standing at the counter, your back to him. You had a knife in hand, chopping something up. He opened the fridge to grab himself some water. He could smell the spices of whatever you were cooking in the pan to your left.

He walked up beside you. He placed a hand on the small of your back as he looked down. There was chicken cooking in the pan and you were cutting up a bell pepper, “What you cooking, princess?”

“Quesadillas,” You hummed, focused on your task at hand. There was a cooking book open off to your right, set on top of the microwave

Jason hummed in response, smiling, “Smells good.”

He continued to watch you chop. Your hand moved slowly. You set the pepper on it’s side before cutting it in half, straight through the centre. The seeds inside spread all over the knife. You began to awkwardly cut around the centre, further making a mess of getting the seeds everywhere. He grew a little concerned as he kept watching, “Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“Who taught you how to cut up a pepper?”

Your shoulders dropped a little, your hand stilling. You looked up at Jason with a defeated look, “Nobody…”

He chuckled. He leaned in and kissed the pout on your lips, “May I?”

You nodded. He set down his water before moving in behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, his arms under yours. He picked up another bell pepper, a dark green.

He placed it on the board, placing his hands over yours. His chin rested on your shoulder as he spoke, “First, you gotta cut off the stem.”

He guided your hands, enjoying the small giggle that escaped you at the sight of his large, calloused, scarred hands resting over your smaller ones, nearly engulfing them.

He spoke calmly and slowly, “Now, you flip it on it’s head, where the stem was. See the bumps? You cut down to chop those off.”

You hummed, “Like this?”

Jason nods, “Just like that.” He pulls his hands off yours, bringing them back to rest on your hips, letting you do it yourself.

“See?” He says when you finish, leaving the untouched centre, with all the seeds still intact, leftover, “This way, you can take the pieces you cut off, flatten them out, and they’re easier to cut,” He pauses, “Plus, you don’t make a mess of the seeds.”

He picks up the centre for you, tossing it into the small open compost bin sitting on the window sill of the kitchen. You shrug, picking up on of the pieces you had cut before, covered in the tiny white pellets that were the seeds, “I was just gonna wash it off with water.”

He lets out a low, thoughtful hum, “Waste o’ water.”

You mimic his hum and cast him a look over your shoulder, where he still rests his chin, “Not what you said last night when you dragged me into the shower with you.”

A grin pulls at Jason’s lips. He raises his eyebrows a little, amused, “That’s why we gotta counteract our water usage, princess.” He straightens, planting a kiss on your cheek, “It doesn’t help that your knife is a bit dull. I’ve got a sharpener in my duffle, though.”

You didn’t realize what he meant until he had already stepped out of the kitchen. You whipped around, “Jason Peter! You are not using the same thing you sharpen your blades with on my kitchen knives!”

He steps back in, holding his hands out, “It’s clean!”

You stared at him, “I do not believe you.”

She caught Jason’s smile before he nodded at the stove beside her, “Chicken’s burning.”

“Shit!”

#dc #red hood x reader #red hood x fem!reader #cw cursing #tw cursing #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #cw knife mention #cw food mention #tw knife mention #tw food mention #jason todd x you #dc x reader #red hood x you

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salmonchan · 4 months

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They working on a case together, exept Tim is the brain and Jason is the brawns

#and they do make a pretty good team #tim refused to let jason get to his apartment in his stinky ass boots #so he had to wear steph's slippers #they had a great time working and then jason cooked some food #fuck off dc I'm making my own cannon where everyone is happy and well fed #dc fanart #art #dc #batfam #batbros #tim drake #jason todd #tim drake fanart #jason todd fanart #jason and tim #tim and jason #red hood #red robin #batman

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12345910 · 10 months

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Different ways the batfam gets someone in the manor

Dick: he'll knock on the door only to show up in the window and write what he wants to say with his breath on the glass. It is always mirrored and illegible to the person in the room.

Jason: he'll send them a very ominous ransom-type text and ask them to bring/do something for him. His success rate is 50/50

Tim: Bruce will ask him to go get one of his siblings and he just screams their name as loud as humanly possible

Damian: just shows up in whatever room the person is in and just says "dinner" or whatever message he's been asked to pass along before disappearing back into whatever secret passage he appeared from.

Bruce: I feel like just lurks. Like he doesn't mean to be scary but his tendency to wait in dark hallways he knows the person will walk through is enough to spook most people, and that coupled with his very imposing Batman Stance™ is very alarming. His kids have gotten used to it.

#bruce: tim can you go get damian for dinner #tim -at the top of his lungs-: DAMIAN! FOOD!#bruce: i could have done that #tim: then why didnt you?#robin tim drake #tim drake #red robin #nightwing #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #damian wayne #robin #batman #bruce wayne #bat family #batbrothers #batfam #batfamily headcanons

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betterthanbatman1 · 3 months

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I’ve never seen someone eat spaghetti so aggressively before in my life

Ft angry burger munching

#The last spaghetti one made me laugh out loud #It’s the way he’s full on glaring #How can you be shoveling spaghetti in your mouth #and simultaneously look like you’re fighting the urge to kill someone #I can’t take this man seriously #jason todd #red hood #food #batfamily #batman #batfam #dc #dc comics #Detective Comics 1042

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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 11 months

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The renfaires in Gotham must be on the next fucking level

At least three villains have been mistaken for regular attendees and left in a huff because no one feared them and at least least five people commented on the lack of accuracy. Some redhead was complaining about an obscure food that apparently “didn’t taste the same” and a seven year old (“I’m thirteen”) shouldn’t be able to handle a sword that well. At least a third of Red Hood’s crew is there. This one lady had the best costume out of anyone but then started floating leading to theories that she’s actually a ghost from five or six hundred years ago. Nobody wants to be rude and ask. That guy might actually be Red Hood. At least four people escaped Arkham to be here but they’re not causing a fuss so no one’s telling just yet.

#the red head is Wally and he isn’t allowed to go back to the fifteenth century for more of that one really good food #but no one here makes it the same #dick is dressed up like a bard and doing an excellent job all around #ren faire #gotham #red hood #damian wayne #wally west #jason todd

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ghost-bxrd · 1 month

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(prev anon with another bad half formed prompt)

what if after the whole pit fiasco jason still gets trained by the league, and then decides that he was kinda done with the whole fighting stuff and gotham feels like home, so might as well get an apartment there, and time moves on and he gets a job and gets into uni or smth and everythings good, and then nightwing comes crashing into his apartment breaking his window and jasons already had kinda a crappy day so he just starts yelling because what the hell man? do you know how much that'll take to repair? my insureance wont cover that! and nightwing is just stuck staring at his grown up little brother whos supposed to be dead, and chokes out a "jason". and now jasons freaked out because he didn't remember telling him his name, and thens theres confusion and dick asks why he doesnt recognise him and jason says hes never met him before in his life, and suddenly dick is staring at his little brother who's alive, but who isn't his brother and he can feel his heart slowly rip in two.

Lmao Dick goes back crying to the family that he found Jason and that he’s ALIVE but he doesn’t remember anything and “Bruce, Bruce, he’s getting his degree. He got into uni. He’s— he’s happy—“

And Bruce (after confirming Jay’s identity) just starts leaving him huge cheques and visiting him under the cover of “scouting for young talents” and “scholarship programs courtesy of WE” and Tim shyly starts waiting for Jason at his favorite café to get to know him, and Dick skips “subtle” entirely and drops by every other day to have dinner with Jason or watch a movie.

Meanwhile Jason has to pretend to keep his cool and not give himself away (he likes his peace and quiet, thank you very much) and becomes progressively more guilt ridden with every instance he does something entirely mundane (reading a book, swearing like a sailor, cooking spaghetti) and Bruce or Dick begin tearing up.

#lmao that would be a fun read #angst be gone #well most angst anyway #Jason just wants to live his life #and stay away from the bats #the bats did NOT get that memo #bonus points if Jason still does some vigilante work on the side #just not full time anymore #he aggressively refuses to use the cheques #at least until Bruce keeps inviting himself over and lossing jason off with his presence alone #from that point onward he spends every single dollar out of spite #or alternatively: Bruce gets progressively more frantic because he doesn’t know how Jay pays for college and housing AND food #and thinks Jay is starving himself to get his degree (he’s not)#and starts leaving hundred dollar bills all around Jason’s apartment #Jason is Not impressed #jason todd #brainstorming #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #ghost talks #tim drake #red hood #batman

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incorrectbatfam · 5 months

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16-year-old Dick: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.

12-year-old Jason: Okay.

[downstairs]

Bruce: What do you want for breakfast?

Dick: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.

Bruce: Go to your room.

Bruce, to Jason: And what do you want?

Jason: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.

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puppetmaster13u · 4 months

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Meme Prompt 2

Thinkin of feral halfa Jason again. No surprise there.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #halfa jason #de aged danny #alongside the entire class #GIW were doing experiments with the more ecto contaminated of the amity parkers #And experimenting with how cores are formed in hopes of learning how to permanently destroy them #They just chose the worst place to set up their labs thanks to there being a new reaper-class ecto-being settling down there #Does this count as mpreg lol #Technically he's just carrying the cores until they can reform bodies even if they're lil babies now #Well their bodies are toddlers they still have their minds for the most part #I imagine this takes place before anything like the Titans Tower or just after the heads in a duffel bag #On one hand he's not thought to be gunning after robin #on the other he's a very territorial brooding halfa with no one explaining to him why he's so aggressive to intruders #he stress bakes and cooks a lot which the children of crime alley and people are chill with #free food after all #Crime Alley seeing Hood's glowing green eyes: We've connected the dots #Jason with his several toddlers with teh same glowing eyes: You haven't connected shit #Crime Alley already researching supernatural and alien creatures: We've connected them #jason todd #crime alley #goonion #danny fenton #jazz fenton #dan fenton #ellie fenton #valerie gray #tucker foley #sam manson

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violetbumblebea · 2 years

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"Alfred is so good at cooking!" "No one can out cook Alfred"

You fool. He is old. He is British. He is white. That is three things against him.

Bruce likes his cooking because he's very precise and gets all necessary ingredients in. Everyone else? Hates it but thinks they're the only one and that they are crazy.

Dick, trying to not get thrown back into the system: Yummy :)

Jason, a street kid who doesn't regain proper tastes until the Pit: So good.

Tim Drake, scared of being in the way: Love it :)

Damian, who knows the values of nutrients and respecting elder: Good.

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lovedeltaa · 22 days

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michael and his car (and his car) :-)

#oc arte #vile coke #oc; michael duvall #oc; huraira #<- his cat is named huraira #cat distribution system worked in his favor #she first slept by his car's tires and eventually started sleeping on the hood each time he went to drive to work #he would leave food and stuff out for her #but eventually he just took her in she liked him so much #and he takes her to work too she's literally so chill #nothing car #deep sea creature car #finds her towards the beginning of his friendship w dani so it's quite early on #he can't kill himself his cat will be so sad #luc arte

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