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boobaloof · 9 months

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Horizon Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me @nerd-artist! :)

1. Ride or die ship (Your otp):

Ereloy. When I first got my ps4 Horizon was one of the first games I ever played back in 2019 and MAN. The dynamic and stories that surround these two. They're polar opposites both in writing, origin and personality. Like many Ereloys I fell hard at the Two Minutes Convo™️ back in hzd when Aloy was all mission and no time to waste. Not only did she reassure Erend when he most needed it, but also promised him a bit more of her time than what little he had asked her for. (Also, the way Guerrilla team describes Erend in regards of his relationship with Aloy is just SUCH TEASING. They love their friendship as much as we do and the puppy mentions are my fave meal.)

Their relationship has developed like HELL in hfw and I'm so here for it. Their closeness and chemistry is out of this world, and to see Aloy be soft and smile with him makes me hope for more moments in HZ3 where she can have fun with him when we go to 🕯️The Claim🕯️. The care they have for eachother is more than evident, too, and all the special focus they both had in HFW still has me thinking they might be endgame in Hz3. I just can't escape them.

2. Most annoying ship: Hating a ship in public? In this economy??

3. Second favorite ship: Morlund and Abadund. Ray of sunshine and little rain cloud ship? Sign me the fuck up. Oh also Vanasha x Uthid. Delish.

4. Favourite platonic relationship: Erend and Varl, whatever Erend and Kotallo have going on, Aloy and Talanah, Beta and Erend, Zo and Aloy, ALOY AND BETA (Super exited for the possible 'Teaching Beta how to hunt' Aloy moment. Need more sisters bonding!)

5. Underrated ship: Morlund x Abadund.

6. Overrated ship: The Horizon fandom is kinda small tbh, so, none thus far.

7. One thing i would change in canon: Ugh. A lot. Kinda noticed that the horizon writing has been kinda lazy after hzd so that explains a lot. Varl’s death, the returning character's treatment in hfw, (Erend got written like a CLOWN in the base dialogue), Most of the Hfw DLC, the small amount of Beta and Aloy bonding in hfw, which made the whole 'sister' thing came outta the blue honestly, The Zeniths showing up too soon in the story for my liking, some writing, mostly.

8. Something canon did right: You know what? HZD. BEAUTIFUL introduction to the game's amazing world. The effort that came into creating every tribe is evident and each one of them has this gorgeous presence in the games. Then the worldbuilding, too. The amazing characters that were made (both main and minor), and to tie it off, the way everything comes together in a perfect symphony surely makes the Horizon universe be unique. The delicate balance of the world and its inhabitant's interactions with one another's makes the world so rich and gorgeous. Major kudos there.

9. A thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: Well, I never thought I'd ever be able to draw digitally and let alone post it online to begin with, so it's been a ride for me. I've evolved a lot ever since my first drawing was posted here, and I'm more than grateful for everyone that has enjoyed the fruits of what I can offer.

The most difficult piece I've ever done and my favorite this far is the Evening at Hidden Ember piece. I have it printed in crappy paper and framed on my bookshelf. It was HELL for me to draw, but it makes it worth it even more because the outcome was lovely.

Also, my fics. NEVER would have imagined I'd be able to write anything in my second language, so yea.

10. A character who is perfect to me (Wouldn't change a thing): Beta is a gorgeous character. I love how different she is to both Elisabet and Aloy, and what it brings to the table. I'd love to see what she will become in hz3. She has this huge potential it'd be sad if she remained as Aloy's gal in the chair. Let her see the world!

Erend is nice, too. I know I mentioned the HFW writing, but the whole base thing can be overlooked when you compare it to the general writing of Erend.

I'm easily unimpressed with the hard, serious, tragic-past-having character trope that a post apocalyptic like horizon can create. It's most of Sony's male protagonists. It's gotten quite old for me.

So to see the kindness, fun, and emotional sensitivity Erend's character represents in Horizon is like drinking a huge glass of cold water after exiting the desert. Guerrilla played the "Crass and Loud male character" in on itself with Erend, which is something that can easily backfire if treated poorly, (hence why I hated the hfw base Erend writing reducing him to just, loud and crass and drunk. It was a gross character regression) but the way they did everything else? They aced Erend GORGEOUSLY.

To remain kind and gentle despite everything, specially in a world like horizon, is a feat, and I applaud that. (While also having a sharp bite, of course, and not making it the whole character's theme and personality.)

That's why his introduction in hzd is the way it is- That's why Erend looks the way he does. He is there to show that not everyone has to be what they seem. So when the heavily armored, loud, piercing having, mohawk and muttonchop wearing guy ended up not being an asshole I was quite happy. I breathed, because I' didn't want to see the basic ass hard guy narrative.

TL;DR I love my fucking bear and the free sister everyone gained in hfw.

11. The character I relate to the most and why:

Aloy. Not much of a social being tbh. Mostly everyone I've met here knows I suck ass at staying in touch or one-on-one chats (I do apreciate y'all though, even if I'm not good at showing it). Most comfy talking on public servers. Def.

12. Character(-s) i hate the most and why: Not many characters to actually hate, to be honest. The bad guys are just 'bad' for narrative purposes no matter how many horrible things they've done. Most characters in Horizon are so well made that I just can't hate them.

Maybe I could hate a character if they're poorly written, or if they represent a character archetype we've already seen in-game, but the hate is not inherently on the character itself, instead it's directed at the lost potential and lack of originality the character represents.

13. Something i've learned from the fandom: About the Horizon fandom itself, it's that it's very friendly and tight knit. Everyone here knows eachother, (specially the hzd oldies), so if any nonsense tries to take flight (Like the good ol' 'new fans trying to stir shit up in a generally peaceful fandom' or the famous Shipping Manifestos™️ explainig why MY ship better than YOUR ship, we can just laugh at the utter idiocy, block, and keep creating.

14. Three tags i seek out on ao3: Friends to lovers, Angst/Comfort, The unadulterated, pure, grade E smut, Modern AU, Coffee Shop AU, etc.

15. A song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character:

Something about us (Daft Punk) for Ereloy. Much pining much yearning. Delicious.

Tagging anyone who'd like to participate! These are fun to read.

#Jesus fuck old reply PERDON #Anyway-#hfw #horizon forbidden west #hzd #horizon zero dawn #Beta #Aloy #Erend #fucking uhhhh #Horizon #Morlund #Abadund #Bab's other stuff

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scoonsalicious · 20 days

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sigh. what did I say. WHAT DID I JUST SAY. I KNEW something was going to happen with that little interaction Steveioli BUT I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE THAT MUCH OF A SHITSHOW WHERE IT'S ACTUALLY PUBLIC?! WITH LOTS?! OF ARTICLES?! Because look, someone sending it to Bucky is one thing, he can wallow in his insecurity but can probably still contain a level head. BUT EVERYONE SPECULATING IT? I can already imagine him spiraling. How can you not? Imagine reading so many articles about the person you love being paired with "America's Golden Hero" who seems to do no wrong, someone who you're already insecure with and you KNOW has feelings for her and then seeing all the people describing them as "perfect for each other" and that "they're meant to be" or "couple goals" etc. etc. and when public opinion about YOU is as bad as is going to get, and you're already thinking that she deserves better...the articles are basically feeding into what Bucky's been fearing the most. Like yeah, Bucky might not entirely believe that Steve and Pocket got together, but the thought of them being a better pair and Steve being better for her? I don't think he could easily shake that off. AND ON TOP OF THAT (I WANT TO SCREAM) HE HAS A LITERAL DEVIL ON HIS SHOULDER!!! JUDAS IS FOR SURE THE FIRST TO SHOW HIM THE ARTICLES. and I can already TELL she's been feeding his fears and doubts and insecurities more and more. Strike them at a vulnerable time right? And when Bucky is already in a fragile state (which I'm sure he is given that those articles had pictures), with an already fragile self-esteem to begin with, he's going to jump through that rabbit hole with no problem. (to add, the whole thing that PR person said, about praying that Pocket and Bucky dating would be bad for her image, I think Bucky already knows that)

I'm scared as to what Bucky might do honestly, because technically, they aren't really together so him sleeping with Julio is technically not cheating. (please if you can be so nice and put a hint that it won't be that bad and quell my anxious heart) BUT STILL. there's a lot of implications to that because Bucky already said he never thought of her that way, so him actually sleeping with her? It will seem that all of what he said were all LIES. AND NOW POCKET CAN REALLY TRUST HIM ANYMORE. Or maybe it won't actually end up having sex, maybe there was an ATTEMPT but the second Bucky got close to Joe, he immediately vomited (in her face preferably) and he physically couldn't do it, knowing how much it would hurt Pocket. I mean, he still loves her very much, I don't think he's truly capable of intentionally hurting her. But, I mean, I could be wrong. If any of this happened though, and while I understand what might've pushed him, I don't think there's any coming back from this for Bucky. (But I am hopefully I'm so so wrong because I have full faith in you to redeem him and I don't think you'll put him in a place of no return)

God...I really wished Pocket told Bucky about the dance as soon as it was over but for one, she doesn't owe him anything since again, they technically weren't together and nothing really happened apart from friends having a conversation and dancing innocently. and two, she couldn't have predicted this even if she tried. I mean no one could've known that someone was taking photos of them (i'll touch on that in a sec) And Nat does have a point, it'd be so rich of Bucky to question Pocket's intentions and not trust her. But goodness, my heart is breaking for her because she's already telling Bucky she's ready to try again, and that she wants to try this again with him and I know that's not going to happen any time soon because Bucky's going to ruin it :(

Now, with the articles, obviously someone there was pulling the strings and I have a feeling Steve might've been stoking that fire. You're a supersoldier with enhanced senses, SURELY you could feel that someone is taking discreet pictures? I usually don't dwell on anonymous sources because articles can just put those in even though no one ever said anything. But this time though, the fact that they specifically said to be unnamed? I'm wondering who else is doing things for Jelani. Could the anon sources be her? Because I honestly don't believe for a second that she didn't have a hand in this. Steve too. I know he's involved somehow, I'm just not quite sure how deep.

Sigh. I haven't even touched on Bucky not answering the goddamn phone. I hope he's okay and unharmed. But that would mean he's purposefully ignoring Pocket. (I sound evil but him being hurt and not being able to get to his phone is far better than him purposely ignoring her) And sigh, I said something about communication didn't I? I really wished he could at least have the decency to answer his phone and let Pocket tell her side. He owes her that at least. But idk, I can only imagine his headspace right now, and it's not at all good. He's probably hurt, angry, anxious, and then angry at himself for being hurt or doubting Pocket, (along with Juana not helping with those at all) he's a wreck, I tell you that much. And my hope that he won't do something stupid is this 🤏 big.

Honestly, I kept muttering "oh no" & "this is a nightmare" over and over while reading the parts, and while I was anxious during that, after typing this out, i just feel tired and dejected and just accepting this to blow up in my face because i know shit's about to blow and I already thinking the worst so it's either not going to be as bad as I thought, or that I'm right and I've already prepared myself.

Anyway, Chapter 18 is almost here. I can't wait for this to finally erupt to now we can spend time with the aftermath and I really excited to see what you've cooked up for this! (still hoping Bucky and Pocket will be endgame but god, Bucky has so much shit to do to make up for it). Again, you're amazing! keep going and sending you love!

— Jnon 🤍

My dearest Jnon, Fuck, it's late and I was just about to go to bed, but then I saw your latest missive, and I could not let it wait until the morrow!

(Spoilers beyond the cut, be warned!)

Let me alleviate your fears enough to say that the articles were not some nefarious scheme concocted by Steveoli or John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. Unfortunately, it was just your basic paparazzi at a fancy gala full of NYC rich people looking for a story. Like many trash rags, they took a singular moment and built up an entire fiction all around it that took on a life of its own. Just some insidiousness that had no need to be masterminded by our diabolical duo (or, at least, our diabolical dame; jury's still out on the dude). It's, unfortunately, just some crappy concurrent event that a certain person decides to use to their advantage. A coincidence. I must say, your insight into where I'm coming from with Bucky's line of thinking is top notch. If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was writing these Jnons, myself, you seem to know my thought process so well! I'm afraid I can't give you a hint, because you already have all the clues you need to see where this is going, unfortunately. I can tell you that we'll get some insight into what Bucky's thinking about this point in time in Chapter 27. Which is a long ways away, and I'm sorry.

One thing I do want to mention regarding the "unnamed source" in the Tower: I worded it very specifically. They said "certain super soldier," no names given. So, technically, a person could have been talking about Pocket and Bucky and would have been being truthful; the trash rag is just guilty of shitty journalism practices, lol. GOD, I wish I could say more, but I can't! It would be more spoilery than I've been already! GAAAAAH! As always, your comments make my day. I love them, and I love you. I'm giving these their own hashtag now. They will henceforth be known as Jnon Reports. Because I must share them with the world. The world needs them.

#unwanted #jnon report

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thekitsunesiren · 2 months

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I love how you manage to intertwine different scenarios. Do you have any ideas for other crossovers?

youtube

First of all, I want to say thank you for the compliment! I'm glad that everyone seems to be enjoying my crossover ideas for the most part.

But yes! Yes I do have more. And while I don't have a model, I do have a bit of a list.

Let's start off with the one's I've been writing about!

Dp x Dc

Dp x MCU

Dp x MHA

Steven Universe x Dc

Now, of course Dpxdc is the most popular and well known out of these because that's what I write the most, but I think that they work all well.

Let's start with Dp as a whole. Not only does Danny have access to all this advanced technology, human and supernatural alike, he's also powerful himself. And that fact that something so powerful was happening in pretty much a ghost town-heh- with no outside interference other than the GIW could lead to a lot. And the fact that it's canon that the portals in the ghost world that takes them to different points in time and possibly universes, there is a lot that could be worked with here.

And Steven Universe is almost the same. All this gem technology and the powers of gems themselves is something frightening since we've seen so many gems and only know what a good quarter of them could do. Plus tell me that Beach City wouldn't be crowded with heroes or spies if it wasn't in the Marvel or DC verse.

Same with a lot of these fandoms when it comes to crossovers. Either they somehow manage to live peacefully in the same universe without making each other aware of the others presence until a certain even caused them to interact, or one of the universes has magic or technology strong enough to send a person or people hurling to a completely different universe.

But enough about that! Let's go on to my list! Some of these crossovers may or may not have been done in either forms of prompts or fanfiction, or they're just rp ideas I had in the past, so be aware that none of these are completely original (at least I think so) .

I'm separating it like this because this is a long list. Be warned.

Overlord x Slime: Because Isekai Quartet did us wrong for not having Rimuru in the series. I think this would fit mostly because having two monster leaders who were from Japan would get along nicely. Although Rimuru is more laidback than Ainz. Both leaders are strong and care deeply about those who work under them while striving to create a better home for them.

Danny Phantom x The Walking Dead: Honestly I don't think I've seen this around, at least nothing recent. But I like this one because I gotta know: would the walkers just walk right passed Danny? Would any or all liminals be free from being chased by walkers? If so, would Amity park even change much if they were?

Dp x Avatar: The Last Airbender: I like this one because I based it around the previous Avatars and the Avatar state. I picture it being this giant part of the Infinite Realms that

Lego Monkie Kid x Xiaolin Showdown: I honestly just think that this would fit somehow. With all of the spirits and beings that are in the XS universe, I think that this would fit! Maybe because of the monkey staff? Probably.

Kingsman x Dc/Marvel: With all the secret agencies and facilities having around the world, I would not doubt if something like the Kingsman or Statemen existing in either world.

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x Harry Potter: I want one of the dragons to be mistaken as a dragon in the magical world and becomes one of the dragons the champions have to face in the tr-wizard tournament.

Bofuri! x Overlord: I think Ainz would be surprised to see another gamer. And with someone like Maple and her never ending arsenal, she'd definitely surprise him.

Dragon Raja x Genshin Impact: Mostly the dragon thing, but I think it'd be interesting to see altogether.

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x Genshin Impact: I like to think that the world the dragons from the show come from are the Genshin Universe. If not, then it would be one of the worlds they have access to.

DC x Percy Jackson: Someone please let Diana teach the little babies how to fight! They need it!

Sailor Moon x Miraculous Ladybug!: Girl power! The heroes of Japan and France getting along. Plus do you think the Kwami's would be aware about the moon kingdom?

Not all of them comes with big ol' lists and plots, but I'm happy to just leaving them here!

Danny Phantom x Stranger Things Lego Monkie Kid x Marvel/DC Lego Monkie Kid x BNHA Lego Monkie Kid x Naruto Lego Monkie Kid x Supernatural Harry Potter x Supernatural Harry Potter x The Walking Dead Kingsman x The Walking Dead Kingsman x Marvel

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x Harry Potter Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x Genshin Impact Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x Marvel/Dc Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x BNHA That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime x Marvel/Dc That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime x BNHA

Kingsman x Criminal Minds

I'll probably update it some more later, but this is just a small portion!

#Kitsune Kounters #Fandoms #crossovers #crossover list

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rev3rb · 10 months

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It’s nice to talk to you for a bit longer again, and we’re really on the same wavelength! The Yuu food refuel scene, the explanation, and explosion (that was only noticed by like 2 ppl) were all things I was gonna mention but didn’t want to seem too nitpicky about lmao. Plus, I agree that I would prefer if God remained more of a background presence than an active character. While I always find it interesting to see how writers interpret religious figures in their works, I feel like it’s too late in the story for God to be smoothly integrated into the plot. Especially in comparison to the other powerful characters that have had way more build up, interactions, and impact.

Also, I think you’re right about the visit to the past ending soon. When it does, I’m curious to see how the characters plan to deal with what they learned. Until next time :)

It is nice!

Wow we really are on the same page, because yeah, it is generally pretty interesting to see religious figures in works that aren't necessarily inherently religious. BUT! Exactly like you said, it's a bit too late in the story for that. While I don't think introducing characters late is necessarily a bad thing if done right, because of how central to the plot taboos and punishment are, it feels like God would be a pretty important figure. Maybe God would even be the penultimate "villain", and I'm personally not a fan of the big bad of a series being introduced super late. There are exceptions ofc, but when we've been led to believe that Sika Madu was the big bad here, it'd feel a bit too much like a bait and switch that I don't think I'd enjoy. It seems like it'd make God too bland of a character to enjoy as the penultimate obstacle to overcome. Would much rather have God be a faceless presence/entity that has to be overcome if that's the route we go. ...really it's as you said. I also don't think God's inclusion could be done in a smooth manner.

That's a really good question because it seems like there are only going to be two groups that know what's going on here. Mika and Yu and then the vampires. That leaves a good portion of our main characters in the dark regarding all that, so I'm wondering if we're going to be put into a situation where Mika and Yu find a good reason to do what they want to do here in the past and so they go tell Guren, Shinoa, and co. about it, therefore reuniting them. I'm honestly not sure how I'd feel about that... I seems too easy at the moment, but maybe I would need to think on it more.

Thanks for the follow-up!

#Owari no Seraph #OnS 127 #OnS 127 spoilers #Owari no Seraph spoilers #Asks #Anonysis asks #My posts

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calumthoodshands · 2 years

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Hey, it's meeeeeeee. So yeah, I totally understand what you're saying and I agree. Like these boys actually chose each other to become a part of their lives and they've always been more than colleagues from the very first day and that's the best thing. I guess if they weren't a band, they could've made vlogs and all and it'd still be that full of life and amazing haha.

But I've a question here, does this fandom has the ships? I meant of course there is, maybe, and if yes, is there any one like superior ship? I guess all ships relating to Luke and Mikey might be dead now? And I'm not talking about bromance ships haha. I just want to know the fd better.

Also, I think you can call me Kia, i don't really have a tag as such and infinity is a not-so-great name, I think 👀

Well then hello kia!!

No ur right tho they could be unironically very popular on YouTube if they had made vlogs or smth like… we all know they’re fucking hilarious when they’re together. It’s practically inevitable. But yes your question. This fandom does have ships! There are actually a bunch of fics on ao3 and i for one am one of the many contributors to it (see my pinned post for example. Or my masterlist). I’m not sure where your Luke/Michael assumption is coming from but quite the opposite actually! statistics wise it’s at the top of the ships! From what i’ve heard the ao3 fandom used to be more active, but there are definitely still a lot and definitely very good writers around now. The circle might be smaller, but the quality holds up. Now idk if you know about this, but you mentioned bromance, and that brings me to a different topic actually, bc 5sos is the first fandom i’m in that has, drum roll, bromance fics! And quite a few actually, even ot4 has been a bit more popular lately. There are some extremely cute ones inspired by the show or just simple cute every day situations, and they’re all worth a read i think. 5sos really are such close friends people said ‘yk what. Lemme just write abt that real quick’ and i think… that’s pretty cool.

One thing about this fandom is also — at least in this corner that i’m in (which is also restricted to slash) — that it’s very aware of the fact that slash is rpf. They’re real people. I know a lot of writers who sometimes struggle with that knowledge, bc many have read or heard that rpf is bad or wrong or whatever, but i really think that most writers here have found a good way to handle it, and know how to write them without… stripping them off their humanity and the fact that they’re actual people who deserve respect. It’s a nice thing to know that and be assured, bc i think it is indeed very important to remember that, especially in fic where you could theoretically write whatever. To me, really, it’s not even like i’m actively writing about them, to be honest. How could I really write about them? I don’t know them. Their fic versions to me are characters, i’m making up a character that is based on their irl person, but that’s… where i draw the line somehow. Fic is about creativity and writing stories and characters, and yes they are greatly based on the actual person, but you can never know if what you write what they’re doing is something they would actually do. Another thing in this aspect is also that 5sos straight up… seem to accept it exists? Idk where or in which interview it was. But they’ve never explicitly said that they think it’s dumb or weird or that fans should stop it. If they did say that, i would stop in a heartbeat. But they seem to be okay with it, and they don’t interact with it, so it’s not bothering them, and it’s very much only here on tumblr/ao3, so it’s like… who cares? And there really are some fucking amazing fics out there, no matter if it’s a hundred or two hundred thousand words. There are so many beautiful fics that handle the most interesting stories and issues and honestly, some of them are just straight up better than some books i’ve read. They make you cry and laugh and wish you could feel that feeling every day. If it wasn’t obvious yet, i love fic. So. Did this even answer your question i don’t know i’m sorry sojdlfjsjdl

I hope you have a nice day thank you for coming here i’m enjoying this!! 🧡

#ask #infinityxxxx #kia <>

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lesbienbys · 8 months

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I'm going to miss this webcomic so much I'm so sad it's over T-T

it's such a bummer that the ending was rushed and that all the character tension and dynamics that made this comic so interesting disappeared. Here's my comment that summarizes my main grievances (warning long post)

sorry but I'm the type of person to definitely complain when something I really love lets me down. I just feel like nothing really mattered at the end?? All the development the author built up for the individual characters and their relationship with each other was just suddenly gone.

rovan and bevrian had so much tension building up that I was expecting one of them (mainly bev) to blow up at some point which would lead to a falling out of the group. That or one of them would have died. And tbh either one of those options would have been a better outcome imo.

arvan and ruby kind of fell to the back at one point which sucked and I really wished we could have seen them interacting more, especially after realizing ruby is immune. It just would have been really nice to see them talk about it ;-;

rovan was also horrible to arvan and I WISH that was explored more. Like are we going to forget what he did or....? Is he not going to have any repercussions at all, honestly for anything he did during the series, because that is so uninteresting and boring. But no he got his happy ending with lisa because happy ending is always good :)

speaking of rovan and lisa oh lord. I don't mind that they get back together like as a concept (and I was kind of expecting it as soon as she showed back up). But the way it was executed... was not it. I made a comment saying that it would have been so much better for lisa to have been more hesitant with rovan and Maybe at the end have them talk about starting over. It sucks that lisa turned into a shounen love interest at the end like where did her entire character go bro 😭

also love how everyone forgets powell is a cannibal at the ending and they all frequent his home that's so <3 sexy of them <333

I talk a lot about how this story is very character-driven so to take that away just ruins everything built up. I'm trying so hard not to let the ending affect how I feel about the series because I LOVE the series so much. When I first started reading this webcomic two years ago I thought it'd be your standard zombie action story but then rovan stole the show and it became heavily centered on him and bevrian. And I didn't complain because, if you know me, rovan is the type of pathetic fictional man that I'm drawn to. I saw that bitch and from day one I was like oh yeah this guy has so much trauma in him *becomes my fav.* He's also so so bisexual. Rovan and bevrian's dynamic is like watching a trainwreck, they're so horrible for each other but you can't take your eyes off them. like toxic doomed yuri in a way.

I could go on about their dynamic forever so I won't, but my point here is that they had such a complex and interesting dynamic that went nowhere in the end. Bevrian was written and portrayed as a kind person but there was clearly something brewing in him about rovan that wasn't all that nice. I understand that bevrian felt bad about letting rovan get kicked out of amina and wouldn't kick him out of the group that easily but. I'm going to be honest I genuinely thought the way rovan treated arvan would have been the last straw. Because in my mind, bevrian's parental instincts would have outweighed his guilt for rovan. I think the angst that would have come from bevrian kicking him out of the group just like amina did to him would have been sooo 👁️

anyways I think I'll stop here because I could really ramble on forever about this series. I'd also love to hear other people's opinions on the series and where they wanted/thought it would have gone. Mostly because I don't have anyone to talk about it with lol

#tacit webtoon #tacit spoilers #hey what if I ignored the last couple of episodes ever happened #hahaha jk..... lest???

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giaourtopita · 3 years

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hi!! i would like to request a mc who has been personally hurt by the brothers' sin. what i mean by that is, for lucifer for example, the mc might have a parent who was too proud to acknowledge their mistakes and hurt mc or for asmo maybe mc had an ex that cheated on them, or for mammon maybe mc's sibling was too greedy so they fought with them over inheritance or something. how would they react knowing this?

it doesn't have to be really angsty or serious or anything but i thought it'd be interesting to see the brothers come to terms with that!

feel free to ignore this btw, but i hope you like writing this if you accept!!❤️❤️🙏🏼

when their sin has hurt them

thank you for requesting, this was a nice way to get my mind off of some things that have been bothering me lately. i used your examples for asmo, luci and mammon, i hope i did this justice! some of these take place early in the story btw. i also did the twins together (and i changed it a little!)

warnings: gn mc, angst, talks of self harm (satan's part) & disordered eating(?)/unhealthy habits (for the twins' part)

lucifer

- mc had been distant with him since the beginning, he didn't like it but he understood. he was a stranger after all, a dangerous one at that.

- however, after that whole thing with belphie got resolved and everyone got closer he expected that he would get closer with mc as well.

- but after a while he realized that he should probably do something about this situation...

- he went into their room, right before their alarm for rad would ring. once it did, he tried not to frighten them by towering over them so he sat in a corner and started talking to them about what was bothering him, this was something rare for the avatar of pride but he had to do it.

- once he told them everything that was on his mind, mc told him that it wasn't him, they wanted to stay away from but rather his sin.

- lucifer was glad that mc didn't reduce him and probably his brothers too as just the sins they represented, even though he knew that he was still greatly affected by his sin.

- but mc also told him that they had a parent they cut off a few years ago that was too prideful to admit it whenever they made a mistake so he reminded them of said parent.

- he thought about it and if he had to be around someone that was even in the slightest like his father he would try his best not to be near them or interact with them.

- in the end, he and mc decided to try just hanging out for small periods of time so they could get used to him.

mammon

- mc didn't like being around him, even though they didn't know him. he thought maybe he really is a worthless scumbag if not even a human can stand being around him.

- he could usually handle it when his brothers were being mean to him but he didn't like it when mc was distant. they had a pact so the fact that mc was acting like that was even more discouraging. it could've also been that he also wasn't the best towards them in the beginning but it still hurt.

- he seriously thought of apologizing many times because he didn't like being stuck in a pact with someone that avoids him.

- so he talked with them, he was glad it wasn't exactly him they didn't like but his sin. honestly, he could've started sobbing right in front of them but he tried to keep it together.

- in the end, they just started talking about how greed can affect people both directly and indirectly like what happened to mc, whose siblings got so greedy that started fighting them for their share of the inheritance to the point where they had to step away and cut them off.

- mammon felt bad. he started thinking how his behavior affects his brothers, without taking into account that his brothers aren't regular demons either. mc had to remind him that the rest of his brothers are also affected by their sins so it's okay. they just had to understand each other better.

- still, after talking to mc he started being more careful about what he's doing with his money. he tried to tone it down a little when it came to money related issues, mc didn't ask for it but it certainly was appreciated!

leviathan

- honestly, he barely even noticed that mc wasn't around him as much. he spends most of his day alone in his room so it wasn't very noticeable.

- once he did notice though, he blamed the fact that mc wasn't hanging out with him as much to fact that he's an otaku and a shut-in.

- compared to the rest of his brother, he can actually not go on a rampage as easily. really, the first time mc saw him like that was during the tsl quiz and it was scary, it reminded them of a friend that was so jealous of them that drove other people away from them.

- even though this was a bad reaction on levi's part and mc managed to still get a pact with him and although having a pact with him did give them some sort of reassurance, it wasn't enough.

- after getting a pact, mc and levi obviously weren't as close as them with mammon and that made the human feel a little bad for him. maybe they misjudged him?

- hearing from the rest of the brothers that levi was usually in control of his sin, made them think about it more seriously. they went into his room and talked about it with him.

- since what caused this was during the tsl quiz, levi actually apologized and the two started hanging more.

satan

- from the get-go mc would avoid him, he didn't know what he did wrong so he wanted to ask them why they were distant.

- it couldn't have been that he's a demon, they get along with the rest of his brothers just fine! maybe too fine, if we're being honest.

- still satan had to know why, if there was something wrong he would try to fix it.

- so when he finally got the chance to be around them, he asked them. and he certainly didn't expect the answer he got.

- turns out mc was avoiding him because when they get angry they can't control their reactions, much like him. only instead of destroying objects and hurting others emotionally, their reactions were basically the opposite when they got angry they would hurt themselves, they would cut, bite, scratch or hit themselves.

- he was the first person to know about this, he felt bad that it was his sin that was causing them to do all these things but he couldn't take away their anger.

- what he could help them at though was making their anger hurt less, whenever he would feel them getting angry he would take them to break things until that became a habit.

asmodeus

- being the touchy person that he is, he was very weirded out by the fact that mc wasn't being very touchy with him, but that's just what he thought it was mc just wasn't the touchy type.

- after one time asmo started full on big spooning them, mc used their pact to get him off of them and stormed off the room.

- asmo felt really bad, not knowing what to do and not wanting to upset mc he started asking his brothers, that's when he found out that mc saw their ex partner cheating on them, literally caught them on the act!

- mc heard about asmo asking his brothers and felt bad since what happened wasn't exactly his fault.

- asmo felt bad about what happened, he knew that it wasn't his fault but his sin is supposed to make people feel good, not this! especially not when it comes to mc!

beelzebub & belphegor

- mc felt uncomfortable when being around one of the twins but this discomfort tripled when the other twin was there too.

- the human had a relative who had very bad coping mechanisms. whenever said relative would feel even a little bit down they would eat excessive amounts of food and then sleep for two days straight.

- even though this was very upsetting, what made mc feel uncomfortable was the fact that their relative died due to their habits.

- so seeing them act the way their relative did, hurt them. even more because they liked the twins and they both noticed their awkwardness around them they set up a sleepover in the attic.

- during that time mc managed to explain how they feel about their sins and that they were worried about them.

- when it was the twins' turn to talk, they explained that their sins aren't exactly the same as the others'. - while some of their brothers have it better controlling the sin, the twins don't have the luxury of doing that because their sins are more physical. meaning if belphie doesn't sleep or beel doesn't eat it's going to hurt them (and make them go on a rampage) and since the twins have telepathy it's also going to hurt the other twin too.

- after hearing all that mc stopped worrying, because they're just doing what they have to do and compared to that relative they're doing a good job.

masterlist

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kaaytea · 3 years

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hey! i hope youre doing great! if it isnt a problem, could you do atsumu, oikawa, sakusa and kuroo with a s/o who overthinks alot and notices that theyre hanging out with someone else alot recently and is scared that they're going to leave but they reassure reader that they won't leave? it'd be nice if it was fluffy :(((

Hi cutie! I'm doing well and I hope you are too! I apologize if Sakusa isn't very..Sakusa-y?? I'm still figuring him out a bit 😅 I tried my best to make it fluffy enough, I hope what I wrote will suffice

The Dangers of Overthinking

⤷Includes: Oikawa, Kuroo, Atsumu, Sakusa

-------------------------------------------

Oikawa

It's no secret that Oikawa is a pretty popular guy

And usually this doesn't bother you much, no matter how busy Oikawa was he always had little ways to reassure you he wasn't ignoring you

Gradually you started to notice him spending less time checking in on you throughout the day, the most you'd get is a pat on the head, a quick kiss, or a short text before Oiks slipped away with the rest of his team

You did your best to ignore the little voice in your head expressing that he was avoiding you. Oikawa was committed to his sport and that was fine, this behavior was normal

But the one thing you couldn't shake was whenever he went off with the team there was a person you didn't recognize in the group

You'd met his team HUNDREDS of times and by this point you knew everyone by name, number, and position from the hours you've sat with Tooru and watched game recordings. It was the middle of the season so they couldn't have suddenly got a new player

So who was this person? And why was your boyfriend always gravitating towards them?

Overthinking was dangerous for you, the longer you dwelled the further you fell into the dark doubts tucked into the back of your mind

This continued on for weeks until one day you just stayed in bed wrapped in blankets with only your thoughts

Setters are trained to notice small things, little details that could reveal a weakness in defense, anything that would help them decide who to set too

Oikawa was beautifully gifted in that aspect of a setter, it didn't take long to notice how distanced you'd become

Originally he thought it was a personal matter so he let you have your space, except unlike the other times you didn't bounce back. Infact, you were getting further from him the longer it went on

Oikawa quietly opened the door to your bedroom, letting his volleyball bag slip off his shoulder and placing it by the door

He sat down carefully on the side of your bed before he playful poked your side

"(y/n)-chaaan~"

You didn't respond and only pulled the sheets tighter around you causing a pout to form on his face

He gently pulled the sheets away from your head and pressed his hand to your forehead

"You don't have a fever so you're definitely not sick.....wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"You're not gonna leave me, right?"

Your voice was so quiet he just barely heard what you said

The hand on your forehead slipped down to your cheek, his thumb brushed softy across your cheek bone

"Why would I leave you?"

"You keep hanging around that person"

"Ah, be a little more specific sweetie"

"The blonde one! The blonde that's been hanging off you when you're with the team!"

You finally open up to him and what's he do? LAuGh! He's laughing at you!

Tears started to burn in your eyes as you quickly went to pull the covers over your head and flip onto your side facing away from him, only Oiks was a step ahead and pulled you into a sitting position facing him

"W-wait wait, Let me explain! (Y/n)-chan, that's our new manager. They've been helping me plan out drills for the team."

"Oh"

Well now you felt a bit silly

After a few seconds of silence you sighed and hid your face in Oikawa's shoulder. His arms wrapped around you body and he leaned back against your headboard

He spent the rest of the night holding you, whispering promises of never leaving you and how you're more important to him than anything else

Kuroo

Kuroo's friendly personality seemed to just attract people

I mean it was definitely something that hooked you so it was understandable why people tend to flock to him

It's just frustrating when he seems to have plans with people all the time, you barely see him these days

You didn't want to bring this to his attention in fear of being seen as clingy or controlling; Tetsu was your partner and had his own life, he wasn't a pet you could whistle for whenever you felt lonely

But you couldn't help but feel a bit....rejected

You were only about 5 minutes into lunch break and so far all you've done is lay your head on your desk and watched the rain fall outside

The gloomy day enhanced your depressed mood, your mind caught in the whirlpool of overthinking

Suddenly a little package was placed in front of you, followed by the sound of a chair being pulled up to your desk

You lifted your head from the desk only to find the very person that's been stuck in your mind sitting infront of you

"I got you melon bread from that bakery you like down the street, I would have given it to you earlier but you weren't here when I got to campus this morning."

"I missed my train..."

Kuroo snorted at your response and muttered something about you being cute before pulling out his lunch and beginning to eat

You opened the melon bread package, it looked delicious but your appetite seemed to have vanished

Kuroo watched you tear off a piece of the bread before placing the piece back on the wrappings with a sigh

Something was definitely wrong, you never turned down pastries from that bakery

"Not hungry?"

"Not really..."

"Did something else happen this morning? You're looking a bit...dejected"

You could never lie to Kuroo, and at this point you were so fed up with feeling alone that you didn't care about looking clingy, so you told him

He listened carefully to what you said and when you finished your rant he reached over the desk to hold your hands in his

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that. It won't happen again, I promise.....You've gotta tell me these things though, ok? I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

You could tell he meant every word he said, if there was one thing you knew about Kuroo it was that he prided himself on staying true to his promises

You felt a weight off your shoulders the second he pressed a kiss to your hand

You even got your appetite back and devoured the melon bread he got you!

Atsumu

You'd of never expected Atsumu to spend time with someone outside of the volleyball team

Especially one of his fan girls of all people

All this interaction between the two started abruptly during lunch break. The girl had bounced up and pulled him away from your little group before anyone could get a word in, everyone just stared as the blonde was dragged down the hall

You were use to the fan girls, 'Tsumu never gave them the time of day so it was never a problem, but this just felt...off

Why was he suddenly paying attention to one of them? Was he bored of you? We're you just not enough to satisfy his ego?

You were torn from your thoughts by a gentle call of your name

You turned your attention from the clipboard in your lap to the direction of the voice meeting Kita's soft but steady eyes

"You seem less energetic than normal, have you eaten anything today?"

"Oh I'm fine Kita-senpai, you don't have to-"

You were cut off by him handing you a banana and a rant about how even their manager has to be in peak condition

You couldn't refuse Kita so you took the food with a smile and powered through the rest of practice

You left immediately after you finished cleaning the gym, ignoring the calls from Atsumu to wait up for him

You tried to walk fast so he wouldn't be able to catch up but the universe seemed to be against you as he easily jogged up to you minutes after you left

"Wassup with ya today? Kita-san said you were actin' weird."

"I'm surprised you noticed he said anything, your attention seems to be on other people."

Atsumu stepped infront of you, blocking you from walking further down the road

"Wass that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know Miya, why don't you ask your little fan girl"

You stepped around him attempting to run the rest of the way home but his hand grabbed your arm, spinning you back around to face him

Atsumu's hands held you in place to keep you from running away

"That's what this is about? That annoyin' scrub who won't leave me alone?"

"Annoying scrub?"

Atsumu went on explaining how he was partnered with her for a project in Japanese history and how even after they finished the project she wouldn't leave him alone (no matter how many times he told her to go away)

After he explained you felt a little better but you still felt insecurities scratching at your mind

You reached out for his hand and started walking again, keeping your eyes on the ground as you walked

"You didn't think I was cheatin' on ya.....right?"

"....."

".....I'd never leave ya for someone like that, yer the only one I've got my eyes on. Plus, yer the only person I've found that can tolerate me."

You laughed slightly at that, he wasn't completely wrong. Atsumu was a rather complex person but you found something enjoyable in that complexity

He let go of your hand and pulled you into his side, keeping his arm wrapped around your waist as you walked

Sakusa

Ok so maybe you were a bit jealous

Not much, but just a bit

You should have expected Sakusa would have admirers as the ace of Itachiyama (not to mention he was a very handsome guy)

But it still catches you off guard with how outwardly flirty your fellow manager was

Like they even know you're in a relationship with Kiyoomi and yet they continue to throw themselves at him

Being jealous over that was honestly very silly on your part because Sakusa has expressed their flirting makes him uncomfortable

So really there wasn't anything to worry about

Well...

That is until one day you overheard them telling Sakusa they enjoyed going out last night and that they should do it again

Which he responded with a "maybe"

If you were paying attention you would have noticed the flat tone to his voice and how his body language exuded 'Im very uncomfortable please go away'

But you being you, the second the manager opened their mouth your mind shut down and your blood went cold

They went out together last night?

You avoided everyone for the rest of practice, offering instead to clean practice jerseys and water bottles

Those were jobs usually done by two people but you needed to get away from everyone and you were hoping the jobs would take up the rest of practice

By the time you were nearly done with cleaning the water bottles, Sakusa had joined you at the outside fountain, mask pulled up on his face, his bag on one shoulder and yours on the other

"Do you want help?"

"You don't have to Omi.....it's my job anyways"

Despite your dismissal of his offer, he placed both your bags down and helped you clean the rest of the bottles, even going as far as carrying them back into the gym for you

You followed him over to the equipment room, you unlocked the door and took the box from his arms and put it on It's shelf

"You ready to go?"

"Almost, I have to throw the jerseys into the dryer. You can go on ahead without me."

"I'll wait, I want to avoid Komori. I don't feel like being dragged out with his friends again."

Dragged out with his friends? So it wasn't a secret date, Sakusa was forced to go by his cousin

Sakusa made his way by you to the gym's laundry room, Swifty tossing the practice jerseys into the dryer and then returning to your side

"You can stop worrying now, I know you overheard our conversation earlier. I would have much rather spent the night with you than them....they're too pushy for my liking."

He picked up your bags again and offered you his arm (something he much preferred over holding hands)

though he was usually a stoic person, you could just see the warmth his eyes held as he looked at you

You linked your arm with his, soaking up the heat from his body and the calm atmosphere that surrounded him

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vs-redemption · 3 years

Note

I love Soft Saturday/Sunday! :3 I remember you posted a selfship of yourself and I wanted to try one for me lol so, here goes! It was a bit hard/weird because I don't think any of these wonderful guys would be with me ^^U It was still fun to do though!

1.) Belle x Todoroki, Shouto (Bellouto? Shoutelle? Belloroki?)

- I'd probably be very distant with Todoroki at first because of his cold demeanor. It would have to be Midoriya who would get us together.

- We would end up sitting together at the same lunch table, chatting with our group of friends. Eventually our love for noodles would bring us closer. I would buy him some different types of cold soba or even show him unique recipes to try out. If I ever see anything soba related, I'd text him and say "Look! I thought of you! It's your fave ^^"

- Once he opens up about his past, I'd probably get teary eyed and give him a big hug. I'd thank him for trusting me enough with his childhood memories and I'd also eventually open up to him about my own hardships.

- I would give him all my love without smothering him. I'd just want to show him the love and care he deserves especially since he didn't have much of it growing up.

- I think it's the little things that might make Todoroki fall for me. Things like bringing him tea when he's studying late, if he fell asleep before setting up his alarm, I'd put one on his phone and on my own just to make sure he'd wake up on time, praising/acknowledging all of his big and small accomplishments, getting his favorite food when he's sad/had a rough day, sending him cute text messages like "Good morning, handsome!" or even doing something like this:

Me and Todoroki: *studying intensely*

Me: *gasps loudly* OMG

Todoroki: What? O_O

Me: I love you. (´,,•ω•,,)♡

🙈

2.) Belle x Miya, Atsumu (Bellumu? Biya? Atsubelle?)

- I'd have to have known him for a long time before we'd date. Kind of like childhood friends to lovers? If I met him at an older age, I might think he was a jerk and wouldn't want to go out with him.

- I wouldn't be afraid to call him out. Like when Atsumu is having his "if you can't hit my toss then you shouldn't be on the team" moment, I'd probably punch his arm and scold him.

- I'd have to turn it around and tell him "what if someone told you that?" or "treat others the way you want to be treated". I think he'd like that I don't treat him any different or baby him.

- Since we're childhood friends, we're already comfortable with each other. We've also seen, heard, and been through a lot together. We'd know silly small things about each other like "Atsumu always listens to this song right before a game" or "His right eye always twitches 3 times before he sneezes"

- He's seen me go through some relationships and has seen how I've acted/treated the person I'm dating. Atsumu would see that I put in a lot of effort and the stuff I'd do for my previous boyfriends. I think that would eventually make him want to ask me out. It'd be something that he might want to experience, too. Like how it would feel to hold my hand or share a loving embrace.

- When we'd get angry at each other, it could get a bit loud, but we would resolve things quickly.

- Our relationship would also be fun and full of silliness and lovely surprises. He'd do something like honk the horn right when I'm passing in front of his car to get to the passenger side. Atsumu would also surprise me with a gift that I've been eyeing or even a spontaneous trip to somewhere!

3.) Belle x Kageyama, Tobio (Bellayama? Tobelle? Kagelle?)

- We met at a mutual friend's party in college. We'd probably talk about how we were basically dragged there.

-I love to party/hang out, but when I have something to do/ a goal, I strive hard to accomplish it. (ugh, getting some PTSD from nursing school lol)

-We would end up talking about our ambitions and what we hope to end up doing in our lives. After becoming friends for a while, we'd get on the topic of relationships. We'd both want someone who is patient and understands that when we're busy, we're not ignoring them. We're studying/practicing.

-I think that is what convinces both of us to start a relationship.

-We're both busy and can get stressed out easily, but we'd know what to do to ease the stress a little. Like giving Kageyama different flavored milk cartons.

-It would look like we don't spend much time together/don't really act like a couple, but when we have free time, we'd be spending it with each other.

-We'd get our nails done together. （〃・ω・〃）

-We'd both have to think about how great it would be when we get settled with our careers and that we'd have more time to spend together. Planning future adventures/vacations is our motivation.

-Even though I'd miss Kageyama dearly, I totally understand how it feels like when you have other obligations. I'd never want to get in the way of his goal so I would do my best to support him and show my love in any way that I can and that would be something he might love about me.

First off, all three of these amazing boys would love you to pieces! You are so thoughtful and kind and they'd be foolish not to fall for you! I accept no arguments about this. 😊 This got way out of hand so... gonna put my rambling below a cut.

Send me some soft headcanons

Let's talk Todoroki! Gonna be honest... I don't know if I trust Midoriya to play cupid 😂 Of course, meeting Todoroki through him makes sense, but you know who zeros in on how cute you two look together immediately? Yes, it's Mina! Thankfully she's not obnoxious about it, but she does have your back. She expertly manipulates every situation to give you and Todoroki a chance to interact. Somehow, thanks to her, he always ends up sitting/standing right next to you in class, at lunch, in training, on the bus, on the sofa in the common room... EVERYWHERE.

Poor boy would be so confused at first by your attention. Like, of course he doesn't mind being your friend, but nobody else texts or talks to him about his interests outside of hero stuff. He didn't even know anyone noticed he liked soba that much. And all the little things you do for him like bringing him tea or setting an alarm, he's not used to it. He doesn't hate it though. Actually, he kind of likes it. And I just want you to prepare yourself for the day when he takes the initiative and your phones lights up with a message from him for the first time with a picture of some random thing that made him think of you. *my heart would explode*

It's all downhill after that because he really likes the way you respond when he reciprocates your kindness. The flustered look on your face when he brings you some of his sister's homemade soba noodles for lunch, the cute emojis you use in your texts when he messages you first in the morning, and the shy smile you give him when he finds the courage to compliment you. He's never wanted to take care of someone the way he wants to take care of you before.

ATSUMU. You're totally right. I'm the same as you in that I would not trust this little shit for a while after meeting him. Childhood friends to lovers is nice because you there's no way you wouldn't know the real Atsumu. The idea of you knowing little personal things about each other is so cute too. Atsumu takes advantage of this and always gives the best gifts for birthdays and holidays. And he's always so excited to watch you open what he got because he KNOWS you'll love it because he knows YOU.

I'd like to say that he'd be into the fact that you treat him normally like anyone else, but something tells me he would actually expect special treatment since you two are close friends. It would surprise him a little every time you reprimand him for being rude to his teammates or fighting with his brother. He respects you more than anyone else in his life though, so he always straightens up his act just as soon as you give him that look. He hates when you're angry or annoyed at him, so of course he'll be on his best behavior for you. Honestly, he'd do anything to get positive attention from you. (He's already such a simp for you and he doesn't even realize)

He thinks he's just being a protective friend when he criticizes all your previous boyfriends. None of them are even that terrible but in his eyes, nobody treats you the way you should be treated and nobody would ever be good enough. He puts you on a pedestal to be honest. And yes, once you're together it would be full of teasing and giggles and he would absolutely take it too far and overdo it sometimes and get himself into trouble, but it's okay because you know he never means to upset you. He's just so excited and in love with you.

Kageyama's turn. Oh my god! This boy would be so awkward at a college party. He'd probably just be all tall and weird standing in the corner like 😳 what's happening? Thank goodness for you, coming over to talk to him ... but wait... you're so cute... WHY are you talking to him? Now he's flustered for a different reason and he tries his best to have a normal casual conversation with you but he stumbles over his words a bit but bless your heart, you pretend not to notice and continue smiling at him. He thinks you are SO PRETTY!! omg😭

A huge weight lifts off his chest when you start talking about your goals. He knows about goals. That's easy. The look on his face is kind of scary at first because it looks like he's scowling, but he is just listening very intently to you and absorbing every single word. He almost seems like a different person when you let him talk to you about volleyball. His whole face lights up and he's talking very enthusiastically with his hands. He apologizes for ranting at you afterwards, but is also amazed that you'd stayed and let him talk so long.

Being around you IS a huge stress relief. At first he's worried about not spending enough time with you or making you think he's not interested because of his awkward mannerisms. But you're always super understanding and patient with him. Plus, you're just as busy working towards your own dreams. He supports you as much as he can just as you do for him and falling into a relationship is just really easy and natural for the two of you.

Kageyama doesn't really know how to do big extravagant dates, so just being able to take walks with you, or do activities like doing your nails together is enough to make him happy. He WANTS to do more for you though. He would never admit to this, but he actually has a small list of things he plans to do once you both have more time. He pays attention to what you might even consider silly throwaway comments like "One day we should...." or "Sometime I'd like to...." He writes it all down because even if they aren't career goals, those are still things you want which makes them very important to him.

#belle💖#best moot squad #sorry I kinda... went crazy with this #Shoto Todoroki #Atsumu Miya #Tobio Kageyama

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tardytothepardy · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket - Vol 17

I am,,, confused. Thoroughly. Did I read this too fast? Am I misunderstanding? This book felt like a series of "What? Huh? What? Huh? What? Whuhh?? Huhhhhh?????" and I am kinda bewildered.

So let's talk about it,,, somehow.

It starts with Shigure and Hatori talking about Akito's meltdown at New Year's, and how apparently Shigure tried to comfort Akito, but Akito was having none of it. The topic of Kureno came up, and how he just seems off, disconnected, in a sense, and also how Akito seems to have chosen Kureno above all the other Juunishi.

Panning over to Kureno, in the previous book Momiji gave him the CD of the play, "Sorta Cinderella". He seemed pretty affected by the things that Uotani said, but they also reminded him of moments with Akito, when he was younger. He calls Shigure later, asking for Tohru, which Shigure finds odd. What business would the two of them have? But it turns out that later, Tohru does run into Kureno, on her way to the store. She was squatting next to a bunch of birds, and when he showed up, they flew away. This is important at all, because that isn't what usually happens to the animals that the Juunishi share a spirit with (agh how to phrase things), in fact it's the opposite. Tohru asks Kureno about this, and then he solidifies any questions by hugging her and,,,, nothing happens. Somehow, he isn't affected by the curse. It has no hold on him, he won't turn into a bird (I suppose a rooster, specifically, which is kinda sad bc I was looking forward to that, in a little way. It'd be funny, if nothing else) if he gets really weak or sick, or if he hugs someone of the opposite sex.

Tohru asks him how this happened, and when, but Kureno doesn't really know. It happened randomly one day, a while back, but he has no idea was triggered it. It's just that, one day, he was vibin, doing his thing, and it just happened. No one else in the family knows, he's just been pretending that he's still a Juunishi. Kureno also said that he can't be with Uotani, that the CD was a wasted attempt, because he's promised to be with and take care of another person, that person being Akito. Kureno makes it clear, though, that he still does care for Uotani, but he just can't be with her. This whole time, it's been switching between the current interaction between Kureno and Tohru, and flashing back to when Kureno first realized that the curse broke for him, and Akito was just fucking losing his mind, screaming and shit. He begged for Kureno to stay, regardless of the curse (btw, at this point, Kureno's a teenager, and Akito's still a little kid, so it was a little while ago), and Kureno said that he would promise to stay with Akito, stay by his side, pretend that he's still a Juunishi, etc.

And then, at the end of the chapter, something is revealed: apparently Akito's a girl. To be honest, I'm not really sure what to do with this information. As far as I can remember, it doesn't really have much to do with anything. Why has he (she? fuck. I have no idea.) been presenting as a boy this whole time? Because his mom forced him, since he was born. Why did she do that? I don't know, it didn't say in this book. Hopefully it fucking clarifies later on, because I'm just getting vibes from that one Insidious movie, with that ghost/demon person. Wasn't that their deal? Something like that. Reversed, but something like that. Idk, I was too busy being scared shitless to think about the intricacies of the plot.

Anyway, so Akito's apparently a girl, but has been raised as a boy. Four of the Juunishi know this: Shigure, Hatori, Ayame, and Kureno, because they were all kids when Akito was born. Apparently, when Akito's mom (her name is Ren) was pregnant with Akito, they all came to her and were crying and shit, acting super weird. Like, they all just knew that Akito would be the God.

As a fun side note, Ren and Akito fucking hate each other. Just,, so much. Is there a person in the Sohma family that doesn't have familial issues, because it just seems like there are a lot of people who do. I think maybe Kagura doesn't? I haven't seen anything saying she has issues. Nothing much has been said about Shigure's, Hatori's, or Kureno's families, so maybe they're okay? I dunno, but one of the things that specifically shows up between Ren and Akito, is that Ren does not believe in the "bond" that Akito and the rest of the Juunishi have, saying that it's a fake love, that, if given the choice, the Juunishi would not behave or treat Akito the way they do, which is kinda true. From what I read about when Yuki first met Akito, there were a lot of conflicting feelings, ranging from "I hate you but also I never want to be away from you" to "This is hell on earth just being near this person but also to be away from this person is agony", and like, whoa. That's a lot. I doubt it's like that at all anymore, but there has been some mentions that Akito does have some higher hold on the Juunishi than other people do.

All this said and done, I still want to know more. I am heavily curious. I'd like to know more about Akito's whole situation. I'm glad he's not just a one-dimensional "bad guy", but dang, some of this stuff, it just feels like it's coming out of left field. (Is that a baseball thing? That sounds like a baseball thing. Idioms are weird.)

By the time that Kureno leaves, Tohru's a wreck. She's crying, and confused, and just,,, yikes. (I kinda was too, but just the confused part.) And so who comes to the rescue than Hanajima, and also Hanajima, but the small one. (I realized recently that most of these people are referred to by their first names, except for like, Uotani and Hanajima, which makes sense. A massive swath of these characters would all be "Sohma". It'd be confusing as fuck. But still. Idk) Hanajima felt Tohru's sheer confusion and despair, and Megumi tagged along because why not, y'know?

Hanajima decided that Tohru would stay with her for the night, so that she and Tohru and Uotani could all talk stuff out about what Tohru was upset about. Unfortunately for Shigure, Yuki and possibly Kyo? I don't think he was home at the time but maybe??, that meant that Tohru wasn't making dinner. So Yuki potentially gave Shigure and himself food poisoning, but hey, it's better than takeout, right? (Seriously, Tohru's back must be tired from cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and dealing with everyone's emotional baggage, she's doing so much. And she still has her own personal shit that she does, like,,, how hasn't she lost her shit yet??)

Tohru says that Kureno was kind, in that he was looking out for other people's feelings and wellfare before his own, and Hanajima says that she (Tohru) does the same thing (which is what Uotani first saw in Kureno, and why she thought that he was like Tohru), but Hanajima worries that the more that Tohru does that, the more that she carries the worries and troubles of other people, it could end up hurting her. (We love a caring friend that cares) In the end, Uotani tells Tohru that it's okay, that she cares more about the relationships she has now than whatever she might have had with Kureno, which was nice.

Moving onwards, the school is making preparations for graduation! I don't think Tohru and Co. are graduating quite yet (maybe they are idk), but there are these paper flowers that they're making, and for some reason, shenanigans ensue. Like, a group of girls just nabbing a bunch of flowers that Kyo made?? Why? That's really weird of you to do. Stop that. (They were tracked down and forced to make up for all the flowers they stole, because for some reason they wouldn't give back the flowers they stole.) It's kinda weird, I forgot that Kyo is also kinda popular with girls, because usually we only hear from the girls that fawn over Yuki. But yeah, that's a thing for Kyo, as well. Weird, either way.

Now we are at the last chunk of the book, hooray! This isn't as long as the previous one 😬. So, Shigure and Akito got something weird going on. I'm not really sure what to think of it, honestly. Apparently Shigure slept with Ren, and Akito kicked him out of the main house as a punishment, which Shigure did not fight back at all. (wow that was not a large section at all i totally didn't just lose steam and stop right there at all nope not me i don't do that not at all)

I'll admit that part of me is still kinda,, squeamish? I guess? about people in the Sohma household being in relationships, it's just that they all have "Sohma", that is probably messing me up. Idk. It's definitely not a healthy relationship. All kinds of weird tensions and miscommunication abound. It's not a good time.

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crownedflora · 3 years

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𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙻𝚅𝙴 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝙸'𝙳 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙱𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁

tagged by: @toestalucia Thank you, friend!!! Istillfindpeoplemistakingyoururlforsomethingelsehilarious everysingletimeHaAHahhdAHehaeahedasjdf- plsneverchangeit. unlessyoureallywanttoofcourse tagging: Feel free to steal it from me!

ONE ( ALIAS / NAME ): I've gone by many names over the course of my time on the internet, but none of them reeaallly stick. So, if you've known me as somethin' from elsewhere/before, feel free to use that name. Otherwise, give me one, I guess (honestly, I'm so bad at coming up with names)??? If I got a problem with you calling me by a certain name though, I'll probably tell you. There's only one person who knows certain names/aliases from long ago that are forbidden from being publicly uttered, but I don't think I'll have to worry about them ever doing that, so I doubt there's going to be many I'll actually have an issue with. I think. ...Actually, better yet, should probably check in with me if it's okay to use another alias/name in public just in case, please.

TWO ( BIRTHDAY ): March 8th

THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ): Pisces

FOUR ( HEIGHT ): 172.72cm

FIVE ( HOBBIES ): Aside from writing? Playing video games, listening to music, watching stuff, reading comics/webcomics/etc. ...I should really get back into drawing...

SEVEN ( FAVOURITE BOOKS ): Ha ha ahaha ha ha... I don't remember. It's been a while since I've actually read a novel. ...Huh? I'm just feeling self-conscious over my real answer? Now whatever gave you that idea...?

EIGHT ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ): Green Garden First heard this song in an anthropology course I took years ago. The instructor would play this song almost every morning before the start of class. Even though I was super tired, my face buried into my arms on the desk, I'd still somewhat try to rhythmically move to it. It hadn't taken long for me to decide that I HAD TO find out what it was called, but instead of asking my instructor (haha, social anxiety), I tried to pay attention to the lyrics, store 'em in my head for later, and then attempted to search the song using said lyrics when I got home. And now it's become a permanent addition to the list of songs I'll listen to every so often. Plus, I like to think it's a song that fits my Petey. Have definitely listened to it in the past while writing starters/replies or just working on various pages/info before.

NINE ( LAST SHOW WATCHED ): SO, I just finished watching-- Uhhh... Don't worry about it. All you need to know is I've watched many things, and am still juggling through several other things that I'm currently watching, and keep considering adding even more to the list.

TEN ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ): Music tends to play a part in inspiration. It used to have a larger role when I'd listen to his boss themes years ago and it'd get me all pumped and ready to write! It also depended on the scenario for the RP, too. Like if it was a more peaceful encounter/interaction, my usual go-to was 'Have a Nice Talk' from Bowser's Inside Story (even though Petey never appeared in that game). Otherwise, if it was something more battle or action-y oriented, then I'd listen to something at least somewhat fitting! If the interaction's a crossover one (which will be the case a majority of the time), I might listen to something fitting from whatever my partner's muse's series for the scenario (if applicable, and I like the theme and/or think it fits the tone/mood). These days, music doesn't have as big of an effect as before, and the music used for inspiration is more varied. Otherwise--whether they're directly related to the muse I'm playing or not--watching stuff, reading things, playing games, and listening to voicelines also plays a role in drawing inspiration.

ELEVEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): Matching URL with my friend! Also refers to my portrayal of Petey being a prince/king/royalty from headcanons and the story we were thinking about doing here together.

#outofgoop; (ooc)#long post;#I don't know what happened to six nor do I know what it was about.#It was already like that when Stardust or I touched it I swear.#alsoI'mtoolazytolookanyfurtherintoit-#Some people I know/knew would find it absolutely WILD that I actually took the time to share ANY info-- WILLINGLY and PUBLICLY too!#Me: -Reveals the slightest thing about my thoughts or myself-#Them: -GASP- [REDACTED] shared something about themselves! An unnatural phenomenon! Write that down WRITE THAT DOWN!!!#Me doing this was like partially/half talking to Stardust #but then the rest/other half was me being conscious about literally anyone and everyone being able to stumble upon this sort of stuff.

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derangedroyalfae · 3 years

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Sunday, April 18, 2021 - 10:00pm

{mostly taken from a conversation with my best friend, Jem - there were some bits that I thought were worded well}

Royal (2:26 PM): Sometimes I think about taking antidepressants again if only to numb the pain. And then I remember how it made me too numb and to everything, so then I think about drinking or doing edibles, but then it still sounds awful and could possibly amplify those feelings (as alcohol usually does make me feel more upset). And that’s sometimes why self-harm becomes a substitute, because it ether distracts from those feelings or even makes you feel like your receiving punishment for whatever you’re upset about. But I know self-harm turns into a loop of guilt and shame and worrying about worrying others.

Jem (2:27 PM): I haven't heard the same about edibles that I hear about alcohol

Or marijuana in general I suppose

Royal (2:28 PM): Weed scares me. Like I’m worried I’ll have a reaction because whenever people smoke or cook it around me, I get super sick feeling. I also know Kitty had a bad reaction to edibles, like gave her ultra anxiety and hallucinations or something like that.

Jem (2:29 PM): Ah, gotcha I myself am allergic so I can't say I've tried it myself either

Royal (2:29 PM): I think I might be allergic and I don’t wanna find out the hard way

When people smoke/cook it around me, I get nauseous and a headache

Jem (2:32 PM): Yeah, I used to have two roommates that both smoked weed in our tiny apartment I used to have near constant headache until I moved out the next year

Royal (2:33 PM): I wish I could just remove those negative feelings I have: anger, sadness, jealousy, dysphoria, etc Put them somewhere far away so I wouldn’t have to deal with them, and wouldn’t have to hurt others because of them

(I tend to use dysphoria for myself as an in general term, not just with gender dysphoria, btw)

Jem (2:34 PM): Aah, yeah, I get you

Royal (2:38 PM): But even though I’m scared I’ll have a bad reaction, I’m mighty tempted to ask Hummingbird if I can try one of her edible gummies rn...

Jem (2:41 PM): I wonder if there's a way to try it in a safe/monitored way

Royal (2:41 PM): Well, if I do just one gummy

With their supervision

So if I have a bad reaction, they can watch over me or drive me to the urgent care

I love how it’s called urgent care but usually has like an hour or longer wait

Jem (2:43 PM): Ah yeah, that'd be the best way to do it Keep the phone handy too

Royal (2:45 PM): Hey, at the very least, doesn’t look like it has any interactions with my cholesterol medication

Jem (2:46 PM): That's good to know

Royal (2:50 PM): I don’t think I’ll actually follow through with it or anything, just my mind thinking of solutions

I’m feeling calmer now anyway

For now

{And then proceeded to draw this (it’s an idea I’ve had this idea for a long time now, especially since the first time I experienced extreme jealousy with Capy, but never had the courage to follow through since I’ve never done inking and rarely traditional colour, but I finally worked up the motivation to try, and honestly, it’s perfect timing as it was therapeutic to draw)}:

Royal (8:09 PM): Random question, I’m curious your thoughts on this: do you think it’s insensitive to joke about getting with other people when you’re in a relationship, especially/at least in front of your partner (at least if the two of you haven’t established a non-monogamous relationship), and even more so if you know your partner is dealing with jealousy issues?

Jem (8:12 PM): I’d think so, yeah

It's definitely odd

Unless it's like, I donno, a celebrity or something

But even then, it'd make me wonder why someone would say that if they knew already their partner was having issues

Royal (8:12 PM): Like someone they know/knew or met in the past, but 100% out of the picture now

So it’s def not a celeb

Jem (8:14 PM): Yeah then even without the jealousy issues, unless that's some sort of pre-established shared humor, it's kinda weird

Royal (8:15 PM): K, I was curious what you’d think

I agree with that too, it just feels really insensitive, at least if you’re monogamous

{Whilst I never told Jem what it was about, it has to do with something similar that had happened earlier today - though I am not technically in a monogamous relationship, so the above can’t fully apply to me. But to explain this better, I’ll have to jump back to something that happened in December 2020.

Capybara had told me about how there was this really attractive lecturer he met in the past whom if I remember correctly, spoke Greek, so his friend got him a Greek dictionary to help him try to impress her, but he never really ran into her again. I had made a comment that you know, guess it worked out for the better because then we would have never become a thing should he have actually succeeded in getting with her. And he made a joke that wasn’t the case or a joke that brushed off what I said as almost nothing. I knew he was joking, but it was kinda a really emotional time for everyone and I’m still even to this day working through my newfound romantic/sexual jealousy issues, so I took it kinda harsh at first and then eventually told him that same night how that kinda made me feel shitty.

Well, today, we were gaming with one of his friends (super great, hardworking, and nice lad) that we often play Sea of Thieves with and it turns out that was the same friend who got him the Greek dictionary, so it somehow got brought up in conversation…and just…they were joking that Capybara was Odysseus and this other woman was Odysseus’s wife and they’d find each other again one day. I can’t remember which character they assigned the friend but they were saying I could be one of the gods, and I’ll be honest, didn’t handle that situation the best, so I made a off hand comment of something like, “Guess I can be Athena or Aphrodite since they’re the jealous types, guess that works pretty well.” Don’t know if they picked up the hint. I don’t know if they were at all thinking about how this was something awkward for me, cuz I’m pretty sure the friend is aware that I’m dating Capy and is supposed to assume we’re monogamous as Capybara doesn’t really feel comfortable letting his friends or family know I have other partners. It just also happened to be a sore topic for me, cuz when Capy made that joke, even though I knew it was nothing more than a joke, it made me feel like nothing and replaceable, which I already see myself as.

Just to kinda let Capybara know that I’d prefer the topic to be dropped, I messaged him privately: “So I just remembered, it was you talking about that Greek dictionary thing to impress that girl and making a joke that like, meeting me wasn’t for the better cuz she’s still out there that kinda made me feel like shit even though it was a joke”

To which he responded with: “she's a lecturer my dude 😂 she's like in her 40's - don't worry”

And I replied with: “No I know, but it was more of the joke that followed that rubbed me wrong. At the time”

And he just sent these two emoji’s in response: 😧 😕

Immediately after our messages, as we had still been playing, he went dead silent and so I noticed this (not sure if the friend did at first) and I at first just tried to silently apologize in DM, cuz I hadn’t meant to upset him, but he still remained silent. So shortly after, I asked if we should call it quits even though it was early. I felt so guilty and I immediately sent him more apology messages and even an apology voice memo, but I assumed he turned his phone off by that point.

Once again, my jealousy got the best of me and I hurt the person I love most in the world and made a fun time involving friends go awkward. I was having a good early afternoon/late morning with him at first, and then I ruined it because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and my jealousy under control. I’m such an asshole.}

Royal (8:22 PM): Off topic, but still on the issue of jealousy, I feel like when I have jealousy issues myself at the point I’m at, it’s like a double headed snake due to me being in a polyamorous relationship - one head are just the pre-established toxic/venomous things that come with jealousy and the other head is the guilt and shame of feeling I have no right to be jealous when I have two other partners myself thus making me feel hypocritical (and being ignorant of any potential jealousy from other partners)

It feels like those two snake heads could eat me alive with just a few bites each if I let them in

It’s such a viscous cycle and honestly, the basic head of jealousy is enough of a problem that turns my stomach, but the second head just makes me want to surrender to the earth

Jem (8:28 PM): I get you It's a lot

Emotions are hard

Royal (8:28 PM): Especially when they revolve around something or someone you already have such an emotional attachment with

And then those feelings, like feelings of jealousy, only end up making you hurt the ones you love

Making them feel guilty or annoyed or like you don’t trust them or something

Jem (8:31 PM): Tbh, as someone who generally struggles with a lot of jealousy type issues, I get that (not necessarily romantic jealousy even, but just there's undercurrents of it that are always there and present in every relationship)

I don't think it's something that can ever be fully dealt with and just I guess has to be accepted and worked around At least for me

Royal (8:33 PM): And it makes you wonder if you truly care for those if you’re so easily jealous of them, since they tell you that shouldn’t feel that way if you really love someone, that you should be able to love them blindly and trust them, and it’s not like I don’t trust, but I feel so easily discardable by those who I could never even fathom of turning my back on

Royal (8:34 PM): Honestly, I’ve even felt some jealousy toward you in the past - not romantically - but it was something I worked on

Jem (8:34 PM): What if I were to say same though haha

Royal (8:34 PM): You seemed to be doing so well with you VN and you picked up art so fast

Jem (8:35): Aah for me it's always revolving around

My need for attention tbh

Royal (8:35 PM): But I told myself, “you just need to keep trying. Feeling negatively toward someone success is selfish and gets you nowhere. Improve yourself and you can also feel that success. He’s not succeeding to hurt you in anyway - you should be happy for him.”

Or like, probably not those exact words, but ya know, that idea

Royal (8:36 PM): Yeah, I understand that too, especially growing up in a family of 6

That kinda happened the other day with Kitty (whom at this point my feelings are pretty platonic) - for over a week now I’ve been telling the girls about a game (For the King) I’ve been interested in playing with them, and the other day, Hummingbird went on a social distancing date with Crystal, so I asked Kitty if she’d like to play with me since it’d be just the two of us and she agreed. However, she had a headache, so we thought it’d be best if she napped first and if she felt better later on then we could play. When she woke up, Lapis hit her up for some gaming and Kitty decided to game with her instead and forgot she agreed to game with me...

Jem (8:41 PM): Ah, that kinda thing really sticks with me

Royal (8:41 PM): And so I’m just getting to a point where I feel like I should just stop asking them if they wanna game with me, because it’s not the first time something like this has happened (at least they don’t follow through, not a matter of them deciding to do something with someone else)

Like, I made the Murder Beans server so Capybara and Kitty (and Hummingbird if she ever decided to get Among Us) could game with my friends in the CSR Creations server, and that was back in fall...the girls never joined a game even when showing express interest and saying they would

Kitty also once went and bought Lapis like the whole Halo Master Chief Collection for Lapis cuz she was broke and wanted it, and the proceeded to play it with her and Hummingbird...and like...I also would have liked to have played Halo with them if given the opportunity, but I was never asked

Sheezus, don’t even get me started in my family and how invisible they made me feel

But yeah, I’m at a point with the girls that I don’t think it’s even worth bothering to ask anymore, at least about gaming

Hummingbird’s confusion and migraines are also coming back, so she has a legit medical excuse and I can’t really bother her about it

Jem (8:48 PM): I get you, yeah

All of those things would really bother me too They have in the past

I remember when I first joined UCSD, I started hanging out often with the girls that lived around me in the dorms And we all started watching Orphan Black together

And then I literally had no idea when they finished the show because after the first couple sessions they forgot to invite me

Royal (8:51 PM): Oof, yeah, that’d bother me too, or at least tell me how they felt about me in my mind

I don’t think with my jealousy, it’s a matter of not trusting my partner or friends or whomever, it’s just a matter of feeling such low self-worth that I feel easy to discard, and when I get brushed to the side or have someone joking along the lines as how dating me wasn’t for the better when someone else is out there, it furthers those feelings I have about myself, those feelings of self-worth and how I’m replaceable or not worth shit

Jem (8:54 PM): I get you I know mine stems from feeling forgettable

Royal (8:54 PM): I know I’m an annoying person, I know I can be a lot and emotionally draining, I know I can be hypersensitive - so I know it feels like it’d be better to be rid of that sort of force if you can find someone better who doesn’t make you feel the way I’d do

(In response to feeling forgettable) Yeah

If you remove the fun hair, piercings, and tattoo, I’m actually quite a boring person

And I’m quite isolated. If you don’t include my partners, there’s only really two people who come to mind that I’d consider close friends that I can talk to: you and someone else (you’ve never met her)

I’m getting to a point where I have a hard time talking to the girls due to the guilt I feel about me more or less wanting to be platonic with them, and then Hummingbird is constantly having a medical crisis and I’d feel bad burdening her further

So really, I’m isolated down to two people, primarily you, + Capybara, and yeah, that’s my own fault

I feel easily exhausted by my other options at this point, where I feel like I can only take Candy in small doses (which feels really hypocritical of me) and my other VA friends or gaming friends, I don’t know if I’m close enough to have those kinds of conversations with, especially the VA friends since I tend to be their boss

For the most part, the other people I’d sometimes talk about these issues with are on servers that are primarily dead, so it feels awkward to hop back in only to bitch about my life

Besides, I hate seeming like I’m only spewing forth toxicity and negative emotions over and over again

Which I worry I do too much with you as is

#mood journal #mood #depression #jealousy #envy #guilt #shame #polyamory #nonmonogamy #non monogamy #monogamy #love

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Ro & Ali

Ro: …---… Ro: Mayday mayday Ali: This is AlleyCat, roger your mayday, position is our bedroom, how can I be of assistance? Ro: That was a very efficient response Ro: What would your ETA be for reaching the fantasy section of the library? Ali: Constant vigilance, Rosaline Ali: 15 minutes ish providing the hairy-footed hobbits aren't too thick a crowd to cut through Ali: What's the danger? Ro: Let me preface by saying that I could burn a forest of cedar and do not believe I'd be adequately protected Ro: Now that you're forewarned, I'll explain Ro: Kayne is here because his dear sister is having a party at which he is unwelcome Ro: As if her birthday wasn't already cause for lack of celebration enough, I can now not escape his attentions Ali: Yikes! Not to mention the environmental damage too, and if it's not gonna work, we're defs best to avoid Ali: Also the Librarian would probably think you were blazing up back there and using pages of an old Jilly Cooper as roaches and who wants to be tarred with the same brush as Donovan O'Reilly? Ali: Gross, skip the protection spells and the like and go straight for a swift kick in the balls Ali: How is it he's ALMOST as delusional as his sister? Not in this galaxy or one far, far away, honey, c'mon Ro: Precisely Ro: Not to mention of all days today I chose not to wear black and I don't need the ash blow back to ruin this outfit Ro: He's in no way worth that damage either Ro: Hm! I couldn't possibly do that, though I have pondered long and hard enough to suggest telling him that we'd (providing you and Carly would be willing to tag along, that is) crash the party, only to leave him there and make our escape Ro: Perhaps I'm being delusional myself to create a narrative whereby Laoise isn't hyper alert to our presence upon all occasions Ali: That's what it is, you've let your cover down and he's taken it as an invite! Ali: Though sure, you could probably wear a potato sack and he'd still be mooning Ali: Ha, that would be hilarious though! Rock up with a card and a bottle like, hey babes Ali: Least we could leg it, only a few doors to safety, after-all Ro: Oh Ali! I don't know what he sees in me and frankly do not wish to know Ro: What would be proper attire for a soiree at your nemesis' house? Ro: I'm certain she'd love to see me a potato sack even more so than her brother would, so I'll assume not that Ro: Exactly, why would she ever be hesitate to drink anything we offered or read anything we'd scribbled on a piece of paper which may or may not be a curse?! Ro: Very amusing. Unlike the conversational loop I am currently stuck in Ro: To use the term conversation very loosely, of course Ali: DUH, you're beautiful AND smart, not like other girls! Gag Ali: [Sends multiple options with are a lot of black silk, lace, fake fur and leather moments] Ali: Right? We're the perfect party guests Ali: Been ages since we tried anything dark sided, don't let the chic looks fool ya Ali: Oh Lord, what is he even? Last time I got stopped by him on my way to the post office he was prattling on about some online game and I should join and Ali: I'd feel bad for him but he's also intensely dislikeable and entitled with it all so Ro: Oh god, you're not actually considering putting my pretend party crashing into action, are you? Ro: I'm as tempted right now as I've ever been to dabble in dark arts, but that's solely for his benefit, and my own in ending this interaction, not hers Ro: He's offering to tutor me right now, which I neither need nor believe to be his real intentions in asking Ro: I know I'm not as scholarly as you, but that's why I'd turn to you if I needed assistance, not someone whose scores are not even on a par with my lesser subjects Ali: Of course I am Ali: She knows she misses us, you know I know that you need saving Ali: Win win on many different levels Ali: 😂 Nice try, bud Ali: How cliche, taking too many lessons from bad porn and worse romcoms himself, like Ro: Please no Ro: If you bring an invisibility cloak I may consider it, but otherwise Ro: As for Kayne, I almost miss the days he used to put slugs in my hair Ro: He had the excuse of childhood to blame his cliches on and we had some new pets into the bargain Ali: It all comes down to who you'd rather be fighting off, him or her Ali: Pets, or INGREDIENTS, eh, Leesh? Ro: I just snorted, so score one for appearing unattractive, thank you Ro: If I take off my glasses will that likely add or deduct a point? Ro: But to answer your query, the way I see it, Carly's owed a rematch so maybe we should go to the party Ro: Birthday beatings are a time honored tradition, no? Ali: Welcome, if he gives us room to pull of an anti-makeover I bet I can get that score in the minuses Ali: He's defs into the glasses vibe, makes him think he gives a shit about what's on the inside and your brain, as if you aren't the epitome of beauty still Ali: Ooh, true, true, many scores to settle, rights to wrong...I'll see if she's down or wants her own training montage to counteract yours Ali: Now you're sounding like a McKenna! Ro: But even if I switched to contacts, dyed my sister's hair and went shopping for an entirely new wardrobe, he'd still take my personality as an invitation Ro: As though I crafted any of this to appeal to him, or indeed to repel his sister Ro: Just trying not to lose my own voice here as he mansplains the plot of the novel I was faux browsing Ro: I may take a swing for him if this continues for much longer however, and thank Fearghal later for the lessons Ali: You mean its not him, him its all for him? Shocker Ali: You got two options way I see it (still on the peace path, your soul can thank ME later) Ali: Either outwit him and pick a book he so won't understand and show him up with your superior intellect, easy or hard mode, act infuriatingly dumb 'cos that would dead put him off his ideal of you Ali: like Shakespeare who? Is that the Leo movie? Ro: Both excellent suggestions Ro: And I could indeed wax lyrical about how gorgeous Leo was in that movie until the library closes so Ali: Honestly, proof of angels Ro: Thank you, yes! Ro: Not that it's needed, but if people insist upon being ignorant, there you are everyone Ro: He'd never talk down to me about Trolls and Orcs Ali: Seriously Ali: If our teachers ever got creative with the assignments, then I could too, dissertation READY on how this dirty world of ours has tainted him Ali: not quite fallen angel level of dark deeds but he's certainly aging into a Nicholson and not a Caravaggio Ro: If you keep discussing his visual decline I'll have no need for an escape route because I'll simply burst into loud and dramatic tears Ali: Oh God, don't Ali: He'll want to comfort you Ro: Oh Ro: I never thought of that and I hope the mental image never crosses my mind again Ali: Yeah, that's his shit, worst type Ali: as bad as the boys making you cry, that's right Kayne, I said it Ro: I don't understand why he likes me when you exist Ro: Surely you're his type, as you are the bad boys around here, as well Ro: Sorry Tess Ali: Nah, I'm not as nice as you Ali: thus not worthy of his lurve Ali: Devastated, of course Ro: You're nicer than me, as Carly can attest Ali: Only to those who deserve it Ali: He gotta know that Ro: He believes he is one of the chosen though Ali: As far as I know he's neither Jewish nor Harry Potter so Ali: not that those are MY parameters 😂 Ro: He's proud of not having read any of the Harry Potter books as far as I know Ro: And to think we could ever be together! No no Ali: 'Course he is Ali: HATING POPULAR THINGS ISN'T A PERSONALITY TRAIT, NOR IS IT INTERESTING OR ENDEARING TO PEOPLE Ali: Shouting so he can hopefully hear Ro: I would tell him but I'm so embarrassed by everything he's already spoken aloud that I can barely speak Ro: I have to get out of here Ali: Run baby run Ali: I can do a stellar Ma impression Ali: out of the realm you'd be in trouble but I can ring you with drama like Ali: FUCKING HELL, GET HOME NOW, ROCKY'S ON THE ROOF AND THE CHICKEN'S BURNING AND ALI IS NO HELP AT ALL AHH Ro: Please do Ro: I didn't expect to be asking for an invocation of your mother to get me out of trouble but I gladly shall Ro: And owe you one too Ro: I've been on and off my phone so he can't appear as if it'd be out of the blue Ro: Oh and now I'm rhyming... Ali: Find yourself in times of trouble, Mother Tessie comes to thee, speaking words of wisdom, let it be Ali: On it Ali: Scouse don't fail me now Ro: If you keep making me laugh this plan is going to fall apart Ro: If in doubt, speak angry Gaeilge, he doesn't so he'll never know what you're talking about Ali: Into it

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