#God I miss A

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Best Friends

So we're on the road to see J's best friend who lives with his wife on the Gulf Coast of Florida.

A few years ago (pre-covid), W had a major cardiac scare and emergency surgery. And then a couple years ago, he had a major motorcycle accident that landed him in the hospital for a bit too. He's still with us though. Thank goodness. ❤️

W and J have been friends for nearly 36 years...slightly longer than my almost 34 year friendship with A (but that's because they're 6 years older than us, and they (thank goodness) have both outlived A). They met when they were 16. They are now almost 52. W's birthday is 9 days before J's. A's birthday was 19 days after mine. W is short; J is tall (A was tall; I am short). W's first marriage was fraught with drama (no kids though which I guess is good) and he has a strained relationship with his family of origin (we're happy he's found security with wife number 2, who probably saved his life at least once)...which is a lot like A. Only A never got the happy ending with wife number 2. He stayed in the drama because they did have a kid. And J has a strained and complicated relationship with his family too, but it's not as bad as W's. (J's dad doesn't like me but he did come to our wedding, which W's parents didn't...to either one of his). And for two fairly stereotypically masculine men over 50, they are pretty emotionally close and comfortable with each other. There are a lot of parallels between J and W's friendship and A's and mine. That's probably why J was never jealous of A when literally every other guy who got near me was. He saw the parallels; he got it.

J's original plan to propose to me was at W's house. When I met W for the first time (that was so nerve wracking). Hurricane Frances ruined J's plans. But as we drove home in 10+ straight hours of driving rain, W called to check on us and J put him on speakerphone, because W was talking about me and J wanted me to hear it. See, we played Trivial Pursuit the night before we left because the power was out, and we could read the cards with a flashlight.

W said, "J, man, I used to think you were the smartest person I'd ever met, but then I met Jen. Now I think probably she's the smartest person I ever met. 😂 You done good." I blushed. W still doesn't know J let me hear that. J looked so wickedly proud of me then I didn't even know what to do with myself. Usually guys cut me loose once they knew I was smart...they'd have definitely ended things if their best friend said out loud that maybe I was smarter than them. Not J. I remember thinking then that A would approve of J when he'd never liked a boyfriend before. (True. Eventually.)

We just took a call from W to check our ETA. J put him on speaker again.

W: Seeing where you are so maybe we could meet you on the road for lunch.

J: We are just now entering Florida. ETA says 3:30 now to your place.

W: Thought you'd be to (city) by now. I love you and all, but I'm not driving to Georgia. 😂

But you know...he would drive to Georgia if we asked him to meet us for lunch. I know he would. When J and I got married, even though W is unquestionably his best friend, he didn't ask him to be his best man, because, 'I didn't want to obligate you to come all that way.' W was pissed/hurt a little, but he knows that's just how J is. So the Georgia comment was a joke. 19 years ago, W said, 'Obligate me? My best friend's getting married...FINALLY (that's a whole nother story 😂). No way I'm missing that.' A missed our wedding, because he'd moved out of state during a rough patch, in our friendship and in his life, and he distanced himself for a while. In fact, he missed all of my early relationship with J, except for the VERY beginning. He said many times since, 'I can't believe I missed that.' Me neither. 💔

Anyway, this isn't the original spring break trip we had on deck this year. We were going to go to some of the National Parks in the Southwest. That's where the Boy wanted to go. But when A died, he changed his mind before we could book anything. He took A dying pretty hard. And he remembers W's heart problem and his accident.

"I wanna go to Florida this year instead. You and Dad never get to see your friends." 😭❤️ (How lucky am I that this is my kid, right?)

A, I'll have to live with the regret that I never went to see you where you lived before you died. You always told me not to feel like I needed to come because, 'There's nothing to do here, Jen 😂'. But there was the most important, best thing to do there. There was seeing my best friend. And now I get to visit a grave instead. Should have argued with you more, you fucker. But I'm glad we're headed to see W now. Two hours away from somehow hearing W crack TALL jokes at J for 3 days, when you always cracked short jokes at me every time we saw each other.

Best friends are precious. If you are lucky enough to have one, make it weird and tell them you love them today.

#personal #God I miss A #crying on vacation #friendship is so important and often taken for granted which sucks

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

#was calling beckett and scouring the works of eliza cook looking for lesbianism #good amounts of lesbianism in evidence but unfortunately very little in the way of good poetry #APART from this worm one which DOES NOT MISS #eliza cook #is there a thriving eliza cook tag on tumblr. somehow i doubt it #the hand of the giant and the heart of the brave / must turn weak and submit to the worm and the grave! #not an original theme ofc but GOD the treatment is delightful. so fresh so gleeful some rlly nice use of sound. rlly solidly constructed #words #gay belligerence

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

#personal #text #gonna miss these kids lol #theres more i cant remember rn but i swear to god some of them do it just to make me crack up when im the only one in charge #infinite sentences kid and bro what the fuck kid are the same kid #he could not give less of a shit about this job it's so fucking funny

[edensbackyard]

Tape recorder click sound my beloved

#when i tell you i screamed #tmagp #the magnus archives #the magnus protocol #magpod #tmagp 10 #tmagp fanart #art #artists on tumblr #digital art #tma fanart #hello jon apologies for the deception #tape recorder click sound how did i miss you #cant wait for the horrors it will bring #also this episode was like a shovel to the face also my god #tmagp spoilers

[paintsandquests]

An evening in Ketterdam

#back on my Kaz Brekker bullshit #I miss six of crows #soc #fanart #my art #digital art #six of crows #grishaverse #wow look kaz brekker art that doesn't have freddy's face it its a christmas miracle #kaz brekker #ketterdam #amsterdam is my ref here #god do i love kaz brekker #sketch #art

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

#kai rambles #so like #i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like #i dont really care for warships #i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them #apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod #or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter #like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED #but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water #william d porter #uss william d porter #ww2 #world war 2 #world war ii #warships #again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny #uss iowa #fdr #franklin d. roosevelt #this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck #shipposting

[nonexistent-triangle]

the most important parts of a bed are - pilow - banky - warm girlfriend

#not words #if you can get more than one in thats better #god i miss being physically near a girl i need to get back on that

[sugarkillsall]

truly bonkers that this site will flag vaguely nude drawings at the drop of a hat but I can be presented a random women's entire pussy as a recommended post at any given moment from a bot

#i kinda miss when they just messaged me #the bots here are so crazy at least its like X with all the cryptos #god the shit we deal with these days lol

[crazysnor1ax]

Thank you Splatoon for all the memories, gonna miss you you funky little squid game <3

#didnt have time to make an actual art piece so you get a meme #God I’m gonna miss Splatoon. but I still have my memories :3 #Splatoon #splatoon 1 #Nintendo #nintendo memes #what the hell do I tag this with 💀

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

#jason todd #Bruce Wayne #dick Grayson #Damian Wayne #tim Drake #clark kent #Batman #alfred pennyworth #Bruce: he my little baby #jason: I’m 6’2 and have the ability to kill you if I wanted #Bruce: my baby my little son #jason: GOD YOURE SO EMBARRASSING DAD #jason was probably the most behaved child before he went boom boom and I stand by that #he enjoyed school #most likey hated it when he missed it #and he loves classic literature??? #bros a huge nerd #yea dick is all smiles but probably gave Bruce’s near death heart attacks everytime he swung from chandeliers and rooftops #jason just wanted to live his life in the library reading his fav books and homework

[mylordshesacactus]

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE--”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

#gay pirate plate #GOD i wish I had a picture #y'all are not prepared for the gay pirate plate #anyway we don't think my dad should have to miss out on our hijinks #we think he would much prefer to be alive to witness the nonsense #than for us to morbidly wait until he dies to begin the third generation of Gay Pirate Plate

[hashtagloveloses]

do you guys remember the Old Guard. remember when there was a major mainstream hollywood action scifi motion picture starring hot women with guns where gay people kissed on the mouth passionately. and the movie was both critically and financially successful. that movie feels like a fucking fever dream. i'll never achieve the high i got when that movie came out ever again

#original post #the old guard #my god i miss it

[anniilaugh]

”When we’re together, we have no weakness. No vulnerability. We perfect each other.”

aka @wellship 's ”20 Year Waltz” and their ”The God with no back” concept lives in my head rent free and forever loved💚

#the god business is a work in progress but hey if it works #zosan #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #zoro #sanji #one piece #the god with no back #20 year waltz #the quote is SO GOOD bless you Landeg #fanart inspired by a fanart hehe #anniinart #traditional art #omg I inked something!! #kinda missed my brushpen not gonna lie #how gay can I make this? ...........yes.

[wombywoo]

retired 🩶

#call of duty #cod #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #my art #listen this took me like two weeks so y'all better appreciate 🤌 #johnny is the super active DIY father of the family #simon has made his way through all of the miss marple mysteries and has now set his sights on naval fiction #also growing his fringe out to hide the early onset baldness #johnny has gorgeous hair but we knew that #the dogs are called roger and wee albert--guess which is which #yes they all sleep in the same bed~ #I guess I just need to see these two old and cranky and alive for whatever reason... #let them both burn in hell after a few good decades learning how to live beyond just surviving #god they probably make a banger pot roast....

[plumadesatada]

just remembered a fic on AO3 (or more likely LJ because it had that distinct late 00's experimental vibe) that appeared double-spaced oddly, in that some paragraphs would be spaced normally and others would have double or even triple spaces in between. it was about one half of the otp getting over the other's death (or coma, can't remember which), so all the comments were about how poignant the use of visual spacing was as a means to convey all the emotional holes in the character's life.

and then the author replied like... *giggle* guys it's NOT double spaced. try selecting the whole text

and we were all like "no WAY"

but we selected the text, and yes!!!

the "holes" in the story? they were actually lines and actions from the dead/coma character's ghost, rendered invisible to the eye by the simple trick of coloring the text the exact same as the background, revealed by nothing more than a click and a drag of the mouse

a story about the profound loneliness of losing your the partner of your life and having to make do without them, without anything to fill the holes they'd left behind, suddenly became a story about the profound helplessness of seeing someone you love suffer from your absence while you are right there, unable to do anything about it, unable to communicate that you love them enough to suffer unseen and unheard with them, just to keep them company they'll never know about

it was then that I truly realized how *superior* the digital medium is to plain printed paper, how the medium and the format can add to a story.

I think about that fic about once a year. I wish I could find it again

EDIT: FOUND IT!!!! UPDATE HERE

#probable fandoms for it (that I was in at that time): naruto Hikaru no go deathnote maybe? #definitely not Harry Potter or BBC merlin. I can't recall what else I was into back in 2008-2009 #God I miss those Fandom days. everyone was doing such NEAT things both coding and writing wise #fanfic #pretty sure it was LJ #UPDATE: IT WAS LJ AND THE FIC IS BBC SHERLOCK 🤮 #but still worth reading

[favoure]

"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"

#desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #secret life #mcyt #trafficblr #favourarts #ok to tag as ship #so i posted this to twitter first right #and the amount of people i have in my replies saying that they'll kill themselves is honestly Very funny #anyways im back :)) #i missed drawing these two GOD #okay life update in the tags for this piece is: something about finals season just makes you want to draw more #<- has been saying this for 4 days straight now #YAAAAAAYYYY i got another desert duo sketch cooking fellas and this one is a Bit more self indulgent if yk what i mean hehe #<- SEE U IN THE SIDEBLOG