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#ESPECIALLY IF THE KID LOOKS LIKE F/O
toasty-self-shipping · 8 months
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Having your self ship fankid meeting your f/o enemy is such a funny concept like imagine your f/o enemy not knowing that s/i and f/o had a kid this is their first reaction meeting the child
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mrs-kelly · 2 years
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How did I get here. Lost aired on television in 2004. I was 9 years old. I remember what I was doing when I was 9.
But somehow, 18 years later, I’ve stumbled onto it and met James and being with him feels like it should’ve always been this way. He’s existed for so long. So many people have known him for so long. My husband was watching it as it came out, he’s known him for so long. And all the while I was just bopping around, not knowing that James existed. It’s wild.
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eustasskidagenda · 6 months
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anon asked: Hi! I just read your Kid, Zoro, Law & Sanji hc with a s/o afraid of having sex and I just loved it! Your writing is amazing and I really enjoyed it. I struggle with vaginismus so I pretty much know how stressful this situation could be. But I’m actually curious to request you the same hc but with much BIGGER boys, especially Doflamingo, Crocodile and Katakuri. Please feel free to add other big men bc I honestly can’t get enough of them.😭😭😭
Hi hi! So I feel really dumb because I accidentally deleted the request, but luckily, I had copied/pasted the text of my doc before. But sorry, anon D: Anyway, thank you so much for liking my work and for requesting! That was pretty fun to write. I decided to add King and the sweet Corazon. And before starting, please have a look at this, lol. Those guys are so BIG, help.
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☆Doflamingo, Crocodile, Katakuri, King & Corazon with a s/o afraid of having sex
CW (generals) : smut, MDNI, v!sex, f!reader, oral sex (reader receiving), fingering (reader receiving), size kink
WC : Oh my God, I got carried away... 4,3k. Enjoy. :D
⇢ You can read the part one here & the part three here
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Doflamingo
CW : a lot of teasing, creative use of devil fruit, slight praise, slight dirty talk, unprotected sex, pet name
Doflamingo is, let's say, complicated. Of course, he considers you as a part of the Donquixote family, and he cares deeply about his close ones. But, on the flip side, he can't help but love when people are stressed or afraid because of him. It plays with his constant need for dominance. So first, he would grin, almost laugh, and be extremely pleased with himself. "My poor little bird is afraid… because of my size?" While running his fingers along the length of his cock through his pants. "I'll make it good for you, don't worry, just leave it to me." 
Doflamingo craves dominance, so he would be more than satisfied with this situation, his eyes roaming over your body with eagerness. He's a really patient man and also loves to play and tease you all the time. "Lay down comfortably on the bed." He would say, placing his heavy, large hands on either side of your hips, slowly pushing you down on the mattress, his eyes shining with nothing but pure desire. 
He loves how tiny your body looks when he's towering over you. It makes you look so vulnerable. Oh, sure, he loves when his s/o is smaller than him. Again, it plays with his constant need of domination. He finds it fascinating that he could destroy you with one hand. Luckily, you're his precious bird, so he would probably play with you and inflict some pain on you, but only what you're able and willing to take.
His hands would be surprisingly feather-light while running all over your body, tracing all of your curves, and fondling your breasts. Then, pinching your nipples, rolling them between his thumb and index, delighted by all of your shivering and sighs. 
"Mh, you're so needy, y/n" with a low, teasing laugh as he slowly runs his fingers down your trembling thighs, tracing along the sensitive skin before slowly, really slowly reaching for your wet folds. He would smile, his eyes fixed on your pussy, fascinated by how needy you are already for him. But that's not enough. He is eager for more. "So pretty" 
He would begin to tease you mercilessly, tracing soft patterns on your inner thighs and lower-belly. He likes to play with anticipation. He's not the kind of man who just roughly and mechanically slides his fingers inside you. Without teasing, there's no fun.
The more you squirm and moan, the more he's pleased, watching your pussy becoming more and more wet. 
"So eager already." Purring close to your ears, making you shiver even more, leaving a trail of goosebumps along your spine. "What should I do now? What do you want y/n, my tongue or my fingers?" 
You'll have both in the end, so don't worry.
It's clear that Doflamingo has mastered using his long tongue. And the same applies to his fingers always fidgeting when he uses his devil fruit. He's probably a master when it comes to fingering and oral sex. So he would slowly sink between your thighs, licking your soft skin before finally allowing you to feel his tongue against your sensitive folds, keeping your thighs open enough for him with his heavy hands. 
You just can't help but arch your back as he eats you out, turning you into a whining and moaning mess. He would drink your juice as if it was a precious wine. "That's it", humming against your slit, licking your clit. Slowly, he would slide a thick finger inside of you. His mind would probably be a bit dizzy, thinking about how good he would feel with his cock inside of your tightness.
"You're so responsive, little bird," before adding another finger and hitting that sweet spot, still licking your clit.
And he won't stop until you cum all over his tongue and fingers. "Good girl" 
With eyes darkened with desire, he would finally removing his pants, his heavy and extremely long cock springing free, leaking in pre-cum and twitching in anticipation. You can't help but look at his length, stressed. "Do you like looking at my big cock, little bird? Does it turn you on to know that I'm going to fuck you senseless?" So sure, he would grin again before lying on his back and letting you ride him. 
He perfectly knows how to control himself so he won't just push roughly while you line your pussy with his cockhead, trying to brace yourself-up. You definitely want to do it, but you feel nervous. "Need some help, little bird?" 
As you nod, he would use his devil fruit to guide you. With one broad hand wrapping around your waist and the other guiding the strings, he would slowly force your hips to move down, impaling you on his breathtaking thickness, his eyes sparkled with mischief. That's the moment you would see him lose his grin as he can't handle how tight and wet you feel all around him. "So tight…" 
"You can take more?" As long as you tell him to keep going, he would continue to guide your hips down his length, groaning softly, with his hand fondling the flesh of your waist. "That's it, take it, take it all."
As you start to moan, he would say "What's up little bird, you love how well I am stretching you?"
And as you slowly get used to his cock stretching your walls, his cock throbbing inside you, Doflamingo would nicely use his strings to guide you moving up and down, delighted by the sloshing noises. The way your core swallows his length would be mind-blowing for him. The sight of your wetness covering his cock every time you move up and down is something he would love to see more often. Be prepared to entertain your king again.
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Crocodile 
CW : slight domination kink, praises, he's smoking because well it's Crocodile, oral sex (Crocodile receiving), slight hair pulling, using of his hook in a slight creative way but nothing extreme, belly bulge, unprotected sex
Another DILF and dominant man. 
Crocodile is a silent man. So the second you tell him you're nervous because it's been a while since the last time you had sex and that you're also nervous because he's both long and thick, he would just raise an eyebrow. Just like Doflamingo, he would love the feeling of you being intimidated, because Crocodile definitely has a thing (and a kink) for dominance. He likes when you acknowledge his rank and qualities.
"You're afraid because of my size?" 
He would lead your hand until you reached his cock. "If you're nervous, then you have to become familiar with it." So he would feel the girth and the veins, breathing deeply, delighted by the sight of your small hands trying to correctly wrap his thickness. "That's it, y/n. Touch it and get used to it. Soon, it will be all within you."
He would talk with his usual deep, raspy, and calm voice, the one that always sends shivers down your spine. And sure, he would act all dominant, smoking his cigar while you try so hard to satisfy him. Of course, he would look down at you. You are in his hands. So let go of all your intrusive thoughts and just focus on him. Only him.
"Suck it." 
He would watch closely as you try to wrap your tongue around his cock, tracing all the veins, and licking hungrily all the pre-cum leaking from his cockhead. He would grab a hand from your hair with his heavy and broad hand, leading your head back and forth, while watching you drool and struggle to breathe all over his cock. He would slowly lose his composure, sighing huskily, unable to handle how cute you look with your mouth full of his cock, trying to figure out how to take more of his length. He would find the sight of his member glistening with your saliva to be quite entertaining. 
"That's a good girl. Come get your rewards."
The moment he blows out his cigar and removes his rings, you know the real deal is about to start. 
He would likely use his large hook, carefully running the sharpened tip along the soft skin of your stomach. Before slowly leaving a trail of kisses along your neck. Avoid running your hands through his hair and stay still like the good girl you are. Otherwise, he might punish you with a hard pinch on your nipple and a rough slap on your ass cheeks.
Slowly but surely, then, he would reach your inner thighs and then your pussy. He would eat you out with his hand holding your thighs apart. He would you lick your pussy in a classy way, not like a vulgar starving. He would be fond of all your moaning and incoherent mumbling as you can't handle how good it feels. "You won't cum until I say so." While circling your clit with his thumb, teasing you, drinking your juice. Your shivering and tremblings are both entertaining and satisfying. Crocodile rarely goes down on someone, but when he does… oh, it's quite mesmerizing. 
"Stay still" if you start to squirm because of how good it feels.
And, once you're finally reduced to a whining mess, he would use his hook to grab one of your thighs, pushing them apart, spreading  your legs wide enough to fit in between. "Spread your legs for me." He would put a pillow under your back while manhandling you. And then, again, he would use his hook to slightly raise your upper body, until your pussy is lined with his cock.
"Can you take it?" 
He would enter you in one go as soon as you nodded. Not in a forceful way, but he doesn't see the point of taking a lot of breaks. Once his cock is buried deep inside you, he will soothe your trembling thighs by running his hand along your lower-stomach, feeling the bulge created by his cock. "Good girl. You're taking me so well." He would likely hold your legs tightly, trying to fight his own desire to fuck you roughly.
He's a patient man, so he'll wait until you're ready for him to start thrusting.
So deep and slow at the same time while he stretches you further, his cock throbbing and twitching. Not a grunter, but a pretty deep breath as you tighten around him. For this occasion, he will spare you from his usual roughness. But next time… you better be ready.
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Katakuri
CW : The reader is smaller than him, but there's not a BIG size difference, food play, unprotected sex
"I know, love." Yes, he would speak before you even have time to express your fears. Blame it on his haki. Katakuri has a lot of sisters, so he would be well-aware of those kinds of thoughts. If you're nervous, he would take some time to ask why, making sure to fully understand the situation. 
"I'll take care of you, everything will be alright." Despite his lack of words, you have faith in him. He's aware of the future, so if he says it's going to be fine, you can trust him and it's already really soothing.
The Sweet Commander is a gentleman and he's aware of size. He would never just slam into you, especially not if you're already afraid. Before even thinking of reaching for your pussy, he would start with a lot of soft kisses all along your neck, and then on your breasts, sucking on your nipples, pinching them nicely. He just loves your breasts. They feel soft under his palms. He could spend hours worshipping your chest. As you slowly arch your back, moaning softly, and relaxing under his touch, he would continue to kiss your stomach, honoring every inch of your body.
You're so beautiful. Despite his quietness, his eyes would be brimming with pride. Being intimate with such a beautiful woman like you fills him with pride. "You're doing great." 
His voice would always be calm and deep, as usual. The control he has over himself is quite mesmerizing. 
And well, Katakuri probably has a food play kink, so he would love to devour your body covered in cream. So intoxicating. Your body tastes amazing. The taste of sugar is also amazing. Both? Total heaven.
He would then sink his head between your thighs, eating you out like your pussy was one of his dearest donuts. He'd like nothing more than to please you, so feel free to guide him. Katakuri being both smart and observant, he would quickly learn all of your sweet spots, turning you into a whiny moan, begging for more. 
If you don't tell him to stop, he could eat you out for hours. He can't help it; it feels so good and you taste so good. He would drink your juice, circling your clit with his thumb and wouldn't stop until you cum against his lips. 
"So good." 
He would take advantage of your wetness and dizzy mind from your orgasm to slowly push one thick and long finger inside you. It's so tight and warm that he would struggle to keep his calm composure. Especially because his haki showed him some really nice pictures of what's going to happen. 
As long as you need him to continue, Katakuri would honestly just pamper you with kisses and caresses. He knows how big he's, so you have to tell him when you're ready to take him. 
Katakuri would keep your thighs apart with an impatient hand, exposing your wet folds to his eyes. He would look hungrily. His cock twitching crazily in impatience, leaking in anticipation. "You're ready?" 
He already knows the answer, but Katakuri is a gentleman and cares a lot about consent. It doesn't matter if his observation haki shows him everything in advance.
Katakuri would intertwine his fingers with yours before slowly easing his cock into you in one go. A slow, but steady one. And as he fills you up to the brim, he would lose his composure and sigh in relief. Your pussy feels like heaven around his cock. It's a perfect blend of tightness, warmth, heat, and wetness. "Y/N, you feel amazing." 
He would adjust his pace to what you're capable of. If you need him to slow down, he will. And he would be more than happy to comply if you asked him to be rougher. He is here to satisfy you. And you will be satisfied. Reduced to a shivering, moaning mess. The way his fat cock slowly slides in and out and hits all your sweet spots is just too good. It's such a delight to see the big, stoic Katakuri looking his composure because of your body…
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King
CW : The reader is smaller than him, but there's not a BIG size difference, kind of blindfold kink I guess (?), slight spanking, unprotected sex
Even with you, King doesn't like to show his face. He struggles with intimacy. Your confession would make him feel embarrassed. What is he supposed to do? He was about to fuck you without any further thought, but now he needs to take more consideration. 
He would slap your thigh with a sigh. "Turn around." 
While slowly lying on your stomach and complying, he would slowly remove his heavy mask, running a hand through his beautiful white hair. But you don't have the right to watch. The only thing you're allowed to do is imagine. You've already seen his face. So you close your eyes and imagine his beautiful, almost mesmerizing beauty in your mind: brown skin, white hair, and an expression that is both cold and determined. 
He would make you feel. Feel his mouth licking and kissing your spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps. Wet kisses. His hair would softly caress your skin as he devoured the back of your neck, his big hands roaming along your waist to keep you steady. "Stay still" he would always speak with his lips near your ear, enjoying all of your shivering.
And suddenly, he would yank your panties or just push them asides, eating you out from behind, spreading your thighs. "Get on your all fours," he would command, just to have a better view of your glistening folds, before sinking back between your legs. He would keep your cheeks spread and lap at your pussy, intoxicated by your moans, your taste, smell, and how you feel against his lips. You're arched for him, exposed, so beautiful. 
Even if he eats you out, he would love to spank your ass every time you squirm, forcing you to stay still. "Don't move and let me eat you out." He can sense that you're tense. And he doesn't understand why because usually, he can slide into you with ease. But he would take his time, fingering you, rubbing your clit, turning you into an almost crying, whimpering mess. 
He would obligingly ignore his cock, twitching and throbbing in anticipation, taking his time to work on your tightness, stroking your back. "Shh, it's alright, we'll take our time."
He would love to watch how beautiful you are, with your ass up and chest against the mattress, and your head buried in a pillow. What a stunning sight. The way your pussy is messing up on the bedsheets is quite stunning. 
He would use the fact you're unable to see him to his advantage, teasing you, running his fingers along your slit, then rubbing his cockhead, mixing his pre-cum with your wetness. "Please…" 
Please keep begging, it's a lullaby to his ears.
And finally, he would grab your hips firmly, filling you up to the hilt in one go, hitting your cervix. He would fight against his own desire to destroy you by digging into your soft flesh with his fingers. His strong grip would leave bruises on your skin tomorrow. 
With his huge cock nestled deep inside you, almost splitting you in half, he would let out a shaky breath. So good. So intoxicating. As you lie down, at his mercy, the sight of his cock slowly thrusting in and out of your tight hole, all stretched out around his thickness... it's too much to handle. As he plows into you from behind, he would moan. His member, all glistening and shining, covered in your wetness, the way your ass is swallowing him... 
He just can't.
His hands would be glued to your ass cheeks all the time. "You keep sucking me in, it won't let me go." 
He would try his best to stay nice. Stretching you out slowly. Even with slow strokes, his size is so overwhelming that it drives you crazy. Holding onto the bedsheets, closing your eyes, all you're allowed to do is imagine his jaw tightly clenched and his muscular body looming over you.
"Does it feel good, Y/N?" 
The instant you say yes and he feels you loose around his thickness, he will smash into you roughly, grunting loudly, slapping your ass, intoxicated by your you. And you alone.
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Corazon 
CW : Body worship, praises, face sitting, protected sex, wholesome, soft sex
To end on a sweet note, the lovely Rosinante.
Let's assume it's your first time ending up in the same bed. Rosinante is always kind to you, and you know he won't do anything to hurt you. But still, if you explain to him you're nervous because he's big and also because you're always a bit stressed when it comes to sex… then, Rosinante would just be even more sweet. 
"Sweetie, we'll take it slow. You trust me?" 
He would be both careful and nervous due to his goofiness. What if he just falls on you? What if he crushes you with his weight? What if... oh, no, he's thinking too much again, his hands twitching on your body.
"It's okay Rosi, I trust you." 
As you ease him down, he would kiss every nook and cranny of your body: neck, collarbone, breasts, stomach, belly button,... leaving red lipstick streaks all over.
His large, heavy, and yet kind hands would hungrily roam your figure, your shoulders, learning each of your curves, scars, and every single part that makes you, you. He would make you love everything you hate about yourself, making you feel safe and loved. 
His hands would be soft and heavenly as he fondled your breasts, mesmerized by how warm and soft they felt against his big palms. Well, he's still goofy, so he might accidentally pinch you or scratch your nipple, apologizing again and again with wet puppy eyes.
And slowly, his hands and mouth would continue to explore your skin, kissing your lower stomach, and slowly reaching for your damping wet panties. "So wet for me." 
He's genuinely amazed. Rosinante would be in awe: does he attract you so much? He just wants to smile warmly at you.
He would accidentally rip your panties apart, and then apologizes again. Please, just laugh or reassure him. After all, his goofiness is adorable.
He would be incredibly sweet if you're a bit nervous about exposing yourself fully to him. "Sweetie, I swear you're mesmerizing. So perfect and beautiful, I want to love every inch of your skin". While slowly running his hands along your inner thighs. "It's alright, sweetie. Just open your legs for me. Can you do this for me?"
If you're still nervous, then Rosinante would lie down and allow you to sit on his face with your wet pussy pressed against his lips. Rosinante would love to eat you out while rubbing his hands along your back, ass, and thighs. Soft kisses on your clit, hungry tongue drinking your juice while it flows down on his chin. 
He would gently massage your bottom while slowly sucking on your clit and swirling his tongue. Rosinante would just love to have your thighs squeezing his cheeks. Move, all you want against his tongue, all he wants is to satisfy you and soothe all of your worries. His focus will only be on you, regardless of how hard his cock is.
He would slowly slide a thick finger inside you, curling it nicely to hit that sweet spot, making sure you're ready and aware of what's happening. The way you moan his name and use his mouth as you please is mesmerizing. 
With two fingers gently stretching out, Rosinante would continue to worship your body with his hands and tongue. He's probably trying to hide his coughs because he's suffocating with his face stuck between your thighs. But who cares. The way you taste is like heaven.
If you want to cum, he would allow you to cum against his lips. If you want to stop before reaching ecstasy, that's okay too. 
"I'm ready for you, Rosi." 
Totally flushed and nervous, Rosi would let you ride him. He's too stressed by his goofiness, so it's better if you take the lead. And at least, you can control the rhythm and depth. 
Rosinante would definitely use a condom. But, he would struggle to open the packaging and then roll the protection over his length due to his nervousness, excitement, and goofiness. His big, shaking hands would likely cause him to split one or two condoms. Please, help this poor boy.
The shows continue with the lube. It's likely that he would let the bottle to fall, spilling all of the liquid onto both your belly and his hands. "I'm so sorry, sweetie!" And he would stupidly try to steal some lube from your stomach to smear it over his length. You can't help but laugh warmly, caressing his hair. "It's okay Rosi, relax."
His heart melts as you straddle him, his length twitching and leaking wildly. He's big, both in length and girth, and he's aware of it. He would allow you to take all of your time to prepare yourself. The way he looks at you tells how much he cares about you and how honored he feels to have you by his side.
"Whenever you want, Y/N" with his deep, soothing and soft voice.
As he feels your tight entrance against his cockhead, he would bite his lips, grabbing the bedsheets tightly. Because he would never dare hold you roughly and leave bruises on your body. When he sees that you're still a bit nervous, he would sit up while you're still straddling him. He would slowly raise your hips before easing his cock inside you. Pushing gently, each inch, slowly yet steadily. "Shh, it's okay, I've got you, you're taking me so well. You're so perfect for me." 
He would hold you tightly as you sit down on his lap, your breasts pressed against his chest. "It's okay sweetie, you're doing great, it's okay, almost there, just a little more, you feel so good around me." With his hands squeezing your hips to keep you still. 
His entire body would be shaking. The sensations are overwhelming for both of you. You're so tight, so wet, and his huge cock is stretching you so nicely, throbbing inside you. 
He would soothe your back gently as he finally penetrates you fully, his large size stretching you out even further. "There it's over. Look at you, taking all of my cock so well. You're such a brave girl. " 
He would slowly guide your hips up and down, unable to handle how good it feels. " I've got you, let me take care of you." 
A lot of kisses, soft, heavenly touches, his breath deep against your breath as he continues to slide gently yet firmly inside you. He would praise you all the time, worshiping your body. A bit goofy from time to time, loweering you to roughly down his cock, scratching you or biting your lips instead of kissing you softly. 
But a really, really sweet moment, and a lot of cuddles during the aftercare.
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doitforbangchan · 3 months
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All Bark and No Bite 05
We're finally getting into some drama in this one (Yes i know it took forever) please enjoy!
Masterlist
Series masterlist
Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8
ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe
Previous - Next
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Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader,  cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 
Chapter warnings: Suggestive, ABO, reader in heat, cursing, pet names, manipulation?
WC: 3k
MDNI 18+
Disclaimer: The names and faces used here are just that, names and faces, and in no way reflect the real people the characters were designed after. The views and actions of these characters do not reflect the real Stray Kids in any way shape or form. This is all for fun let’s keep it that way please. 
There was an intense warmth covering your back when you awoke the next morning. It was so comforting you almost lulled back to sleep. That is until you heard a raspy voice in your ear,
“Good morning, Omega.” 
Chan 
“Mmm” you grumbled, too caught up in his warmth. 
He smiled into your hair and pressed a kiss to the back of your head. You felt tingles all over your body at his affection. 
It was still hard to believe yesterday even happened. It feels like a fever dream, one you never wanted to wake from. You dug yourself further into the alpha's embrace, wanting to be as close to him as possible. 
You feel weird today. Still so, so happy, but there's an oddness you can’t quite place your finger on. All you know is that Chan being here is so comforting to you.  
“How did you sleep, baby?” He kept his voice low, he himself still riddled with sleep. 
You yawned, “Wonderful, Chan. I don’t think I have ever slept that good in my life.”
He hummed, “I’m so glad, omega. You needed your rest after all the stress you’ve been through the last few days.” He brushes the hair from you face and turns your body over to be underneath him now. “And you’ll need your energy for what's in store for you today.”  He smirked at seeing your face turn full red with blush. Did he mean we are gonna…
He planted a quick kiss to your lips before he spoke again “We’re going into town today to get you new clothes and toiletries.” He rolled off the bed. 
‘Oh, get your mind out of the gutter y/n.’ You scolded yourself mentally. Propping yourself up on your elbows you admired your alpha as he slipped his pj pants back over his hips. He must have taken them off to be more comfortable in the night. The thought of being in bed with him, when he has no clothes on, makes you wanna drool. Made you wish you knew, then maybe you could have done something about it. ‘Y/N what the fuck calm down’
Chan could feel your eyes on him, so he pulled up his bottoms extra slowly, being sure to give you a good look at his ass. He smirked when he turned around to you staring right at him. 
“Come on, Baby. You gotta get ready, I’m sure the boys are almost ready to head out.” He walked to the door, opening it to find your clothes from yesterday neatly folded and waiting. “Seungmin washed these for you last night, so you had something to wear today.” He set them on the bed for you. 
“Wow, that was so thoughtful of him!” You beamed. 
If only you knew how many times Seungmin pressed your dirty underwear to his nose, drinking in the pure scent of you. 
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Chan left you to get ready for the day while he went and did the same. After you fell asleep last night him and the pack texted about today's agenda. A few of them needed to go to town so it was the perfect time to take you shopping. Chan was confident no one in their small town would try anything with you, especially if they saw the pack around. 
There was a stack of bagels on the table waiting for you when you walked down the stairs about 15 minutes later. Jisung was seated there munching on his own when he noticed you and pulled out the chair next to him. “Hey my Baby! Wanna bagel?” 
“Good morning Jisung,” You giggled. It was literal music to his ears. “I would love one, thank you. “ 
You took a seat next to him as he plated one up for you, with a side of cream cheese and butter. 
“Are you ready to go shopping?” He asked with cheeks full of food. 
You took your own bite, “Yes! Are you coming with us today?” 
It was at that moment Chan entered the room, “Ah yes, actually Hannie is going to be the one to take you to get clothes. I have a few other matters to attend to in town.” He pressed a kiss to your head and lowered his voice when he sensed your anxiety “Alpha has some important things he needs to do, you’ll be a good omega and go shopping with Jisung, right?” He was pumping out pheromones to appease you and make you listen. It was certainly working. 
You nodded along with his words “Yes alpha.” 
He gave you a devilish grin “That's a good omega.” His words sent a deep shiver down your spine. 
Jisung watched your interaction with interest. So far you were everything he’d heard about omegas. Sweet, respectful, beautiful. You really were a good omega. It made him want to take care of you. 
“Who are we waiting on, Channie-hyung?” The beta asked after gulping down his bagel. 
Chan pulled out your chair for you when you were finished, “Seungmin and Felix, they are probably already in the car waiting for us. Bin and Hyun are already in town, they took Changbins car. Bin wanted to get some gym time and Hyunjin is teaching his weekly art class.” 
‘Aww Hyunjin really couldn’t get any more attractive’ You signed dreamily. 
“Are Minho and Jeongin not coming with us?” You asked Chan. 
“Nah Jeongin wasn’t feelin’ to well and Minho wants to get some house work in” You nodded. 
“Seungmin will yell at me if we make him wait any longer so let’s go!” Jisung bolted for the door and you both followed right behind him hand in hand. 
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The ride to town took about 20 minutes, but it felt like it went by much quicker. You were sat shotgun while Chan drove, his hand resting on your thigh the entire time. His touch calmed the nerves you felt, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. You still can’t shake this odd feeling. 
The 3 betas sat in the back, Seungmin bullying Jisung about making him wait and Felix laughing like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen. 
“It’s not my fault Seung! Channie is the one who came down last, Baby and i were ready!” His eyes found yours when you looked back at him, “right baby?!” 
“Hmmmmm” you pretended to think, Chan giving you an amused side eye, Jisung pleading with you to agree. “I don’t remember.” You gave him a cheeky smile. “Oh wait , I remember now! It’s all Alphas fault!” You pointed at Chan and Jisung let out a cheer. 
Seungmin was not as amused, “Don’t cover for him y/n, he’s always the late one.” 
A loud “Hey!” then a thumping sound was barely heard over all the laughter in the car. 
------------------------------------------------------------------
In town Chan had Jisung change spots with him to take you to the boutique, while Chan and the other two boys attended to their own business. Your alpha gave you a deep kiss before departing, his smirk on display at your flustered state. 
You and Jisung arrived a few minutes later at this small but very fashionable clothing store. 
The door chimed as you opened it, a voice from behind a counter calling to you “Be right with you dearies!”
Jisung held onto your hand as you walked a little further in. 
‘Wow there are so many options here!’ you thought, mouth wide open at the gorgeous selections. 
“What can I help you -“ an older woman approached but paused at the sight of you. 
You gave her a polite wave “Hello. I need some new
clothes please.” 
She was an old beta woman, probably around late 60s, with graying hair and a green boho dress. She was a very pretty woman. 
“Eun, this is y/n.” The woman only then seemed to notice Jisung with you. “She’s Chans mate.” 
That seemed to snap her out of her daze, a bright smile gracing her features, “That sly dog went and got himself an omega huh? And a gorgeous one at that!” She approached you and grabbed your face, getting a good look at you. The blush returned to your face and you made eyes at Jisung next to you. 
Jisung laughed and released your hand pulling you back slightly. “ Yes Eun, she’s new in our pack and needs a whole new wardrobe!” 
The elder beta clapped her hands excitedly. “You’ve come to the right place then! I’ve got quite the collection for you to try my dear.” She disappeared into the back once again. 
Jisung put both hands on your shoulders, giving them a rub to calm you. 
“Don’t mind Eun, Baby. She’s a little eccentric. She’s an old friend Chans family. Watched him and his family grow up, so she’s a little excited.” Ah that makes sense. 
Eun came rushing out with her arms full of clothes. She set them on a moving rack before shuffling it over to the fitting room in the corner. “I picked out a few things that I think you’ll love!” 
She grabbed your hand and hurried you to the fitting room, chucking a few outfits into the room with you, then taking a seat outside with Jisung, both waiting for you to model all the clothes for them. 
It took about 2 hours before you decided you had enough to last a lifetime. Actually you were done after picking one outfit, but Jisung just waved a credit card at you and told you to keep shopping. That he knew if you didn’t buy a lot then Chan would be mad at both of you. That made it easier to pick out stuff, knowing your alpha would be pleased. 
It was when you were checking out with Eun that you started to feel the ache in your lower belly. And the fire in your veins. You clutched your stomach with one arm, the other holding onto Jisung so you didn’t collapse. 
When Jisung went to ask you what was wrong, the most incredible scent he had ever smelled wafted out of you. His pupils were blown and his body went rigid. 
He used both hands to ground you and keep you from falling. “y/n.. w-what is happening?” He managed to get out. 
“She’s going into heat! You have to get her home now!” Eun had seen this before, she grew up with omegas. 
“Me?! Shouldn’t we go pick up Channie-hyung first?” The boy asked in pure panic. 
“No you need to take her straight home there is no time, don’t forget you're in a town with other alphas that can smell her just as well as you can.” 
That seemed to snap him out of it, hauling you up and wrapping his arms around you. 
“Eun, can you call Chan for me please? Just tell him I'm taking her straight home.”
Eun opened the door and helped Jisung load you into the car. “Will do! I’ll have someone fetch these clothes for her later. Be safe.” She shut you in and watched you drive off. 
---------------------------------------------------------------
Chan had paid a visit to the police station to speak with the sheriff while you were out shopping. Now was the perfect time to see what could be done about your missing persons status. 
He was assured by the sheriff that if you made a report that you're not missing, they can send the information over to the original sector and have you filed as not missing and end the investigation. Plus your current location would legally remain anonymous. 
Chan felt relieved by that, one less thing to worry about. That is, he was feeling relief until he received a very panicked call from Eun. 
“You need to get home right now Christopher!” She hollered as he answered the phone. 
He winced at her loud voice, “Ah, Eun what's going on?” 
“Your omega is in heat, that’s what the fuck is going on. She started right in the middle of checking out! Had to leave all the bags here!” 
Chan felt his heart stop and gut wrench. His omega was in heat . “Where is she now?”
“Han took her home, I told him not to stop for you and go straight there to avoid any trouble.” 
 “Thanks for letting me know. I gotta make a call.” With that he hung up on her. He would apologize later. First he had to get a ride home. 
The line rang a few times before Changbins voice answered, sounding out of breath. 
“What’s up bro? Finally wanna come join me in a workout?” His voice was teasing. 
“Changbin” Chans voice was hard, Alpha mode activated. “I need you to come get me from the police department right now. It’s y/n, she's in heat.” 
----------------------------------------------------------------
Your senses were on overload. You could smell everything. Every trace of the boy’s previously in the car, every trace of Chan. And you could especially smell Jisung. Your hands kept finding his shirt, trying to tug him closer as he drove but he (regretfully) had to keep pushing you away. You’re gonna be the death of me he had said to you when the tugging began. 
You hadn’t had a heat in years, not since you presented as an omega for the first time. After that you had been on high quality suppressants, causing you to not have a heat while taking them. That must be why this one came on so quickly. It had been days since you’ve taken any. Being in a house full of men, with your alpha, your body is going into overdrive. It was so bad, you felt as though you had no control over your body or urges. It was acting on its own at this point.  It was making you delirious and feral.
Jisung sped as quickly as possible, while still keeping you safe, to get home. He made it there in record time, tires screeching to a stop outside the door. Even with you grabbing at him he managed to slip out of the driver's seat, bolting around the vehicle to open your door and gently guide you out. When his hands made contact with the skin on your waist when you shirt rode up, you let out a whimpering moan. You would be humiliated about that later. 
Jisung felt his boner grow in his pants. 
‘what the fuck what the fuck’ He was screaming internally, wanting to just take you there on the ground outside. He knew he couldn’t do that though. You were Chans first and foremost. His alpha. He would never disrespect him or you that way. 
“Come on my baby, we gotta get you to your room.” At the mention of him taking you to your room you found your footing and let him lead you inside. 
Stepping through the threshold the first thing you could sense was an alpha. 
Jeongin made his way into the entry to see what the commotion was about , when he stopped right in his tracks. He didn’t know what was happening to him but he raced to your side. 
“No no no no!” Jisung saw the young alpha coming at you and tried to stop him. “Jeongin wait, don’t!” 
He didn’t hear a word though, pushing Jisung off of you and cornering you into the wall beside him. 
At the presence of the alpha in front of you, you let out a long whine, hands reaching out and grasping his shirt. 
Jeongin presses his nose into the gland on your neck where your aroma was emanating from the heaviest. 
“Innie! You have to stop!!” Jisung yelled in his panic, but was only answered by the younger man’s deep growl. 
“Omega….” Jeongin inhaled you, wanting to devour you whole. Never in his life had he wanted something more. He could almost taste you on his tongue.
“Jeongin!” Jisung screamed out again, “You have to st-“ 
“Stop!” Came a loud bellow, then strong hands ripped Jeongin from your body, tossing him to Changbin. 
It was Chan. It was your Alpha. 
Tears leaked from you at the sight of him. He was furious, not at you, but at the situation. At the sight of your dizzy appearance he hoisted you over his shoulder and headed up the stairs. Just in time for Minho to come running from his room upstairs. 
“What the fuck is going on?” He demanded, but one look at the situation told him all he needed to know. 
Chan yelled back to Minho “Help changbin get Jeongin out of here! In fact all of you need to stay out for a few days! We can’t have any repeats of what just happened.” 
Minho nodded in agreement, “You're right. I'll make sure everyone stays away.”  
Changbin was trying to force the younger alpha outside, into the fresh air away from you. It took all his will power to resist you himself, so it was a real struggle to try and reel in Jeongin. Changbin was lucky he had the self control he had, or he would be just like Jeongin. That's not to say it was easy for the alpha, no no, his body was aching for a taste of you.
Minho was herding them both along, Jisung following behind. “Come on guys, it’s alright. Let’s just get out of here and clear our minds huh?” He won’t deny he was affected by you as well. The tastiest thing he had ever experienced. It pissed him off that this ordeal was even happening, though. ‘I knew she would cause fucking problems’ he thought bitterly. Being the ever so responsible one, Min loaded everyone in the van and went to fetch the other remaining members. Time to find a place to crash for a few days. This blows.
A/N; Finallllyyy a little bit of drama! As always, I would love to hear what yall think!
Please do not copy or steal my writing and content! Reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated tho!
doitforbangchan©
TAGLIST-
@chxnb97 / @butterflydemons / @zaggprincess2 / @stellasays45 /@uhhheather/ @walnutspie /  @a-mistake-tbh / @meowmeeps / @realrintaro / @ihrtlix / @raehawthorne / @juskz / @freckleboilix/ @marvelsmarauder / @0325tiny / @iyeeeverydee/ @stars-garden / @boi-bi-ahaha/ @gini143/ @queenmea604 /  @palindrome969/ @f9clementine/ @theysaidhush/ @kpophosblog/ @usercaiskz/ @honeym0chi/ @nobody3210/ @changbinswife10789  @5starluvr @usercaiskz/ @neyangi / @jiminssluttyminx/ @ayejaii/ @iknowleeknow/ @jeonginnieswifey/ @catlove83/ @upsidedownchaire/ @emmxxsworld/ @manuosorioh/ @igetcarriedawaywithyou/ @blondechanni/ @woozixo/ @ilovejeongin007/ @yaorzu-blog/ @theydy-madamonsieur
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demigoddessqueens · 3 months
Text
Lucifer SFW
Just some A-Z SFW for the occasional adorkable King of Hell
Here on masterlist 10
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Super affectionate!! Peppers you with kisses and everything
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Chances are Luci would meet you if he’s ever visiting Charlie at the new hotel and sees you as one of the sinners living there
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He’s the cuddle bug master, just holding onto you like glue
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
I’d imagine as King of Hell has others for domestic tasks, but he enjoys the domestic life and wants that peace and love with it
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Oh he will NOT be handling breaking up well AT ALL 💔 like we’re talking tears and asking “did I do something wrong?”
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Man’s still wears his wedding ring after a seven years divorce/separation, he makes good on his commitments
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Very gentle and loving, there’s an air of love to his aura around you.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Those anaconda squeeze type of hugs and burying his head in your neck/hair.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Oh he wants to say it first so bad, but it all depends on when and how YOU want to say it, and Luci respects that
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Short fuse jealousy! Anyone so much as looks at you if you’re together and they’re getting smoted
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Passionate, deep kisses or quick little pecks
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Has a bit of an awkward charm to him that may be hit or miss with some kids
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Mornings are total “let’s just lounge in bed” all day type of thing
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Nights are intimate and sweet, spending time together over a glass of wine
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
I’d feel Luci would open up faster to you than you would, part of his loneliness, but he respects your boundaries
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
He’ll only be “angry” if someone tries to pull anything with you, but has considerable patience with you.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Luci can rattle off facts about you like it’s nobody business, just speaking about you adorably and what he loves about you
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
The first time you said “i love you” to him, he said it first a while back in the early stage
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Given how he is with Charlie, you are also important and incredibly precious to him and wants to protect you
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
You’re getting the full Royal Treatment from him. Gifts, candies, conjured flowers and trinkets and whatnot
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Maybe being a bit overly jealous or possessive of someone
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Well he is in charge of the Ring of Pride so he has to look good, especially if you’re coming over
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
In a way, yes. Lonely and a bit like “do you not like me anymore?”
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
If you’re a cooking type, I’d imagine Luci has a bit of a sweet tooth and loves all your baked goods
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Maybe like an overly nonchalant person or one who doesn’t communicate or open up themselves as he does
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Sleep starts off with cuddles, maybe some spooning, you as the big spoon most of the time
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ohbabydollie · 3 months
Note
Babe please do a smut/smutty hcs of the mutual breakup, omg best thing I’ve read in awhile, and I love the praise I’m such a slut for it hehe
(based off schlatt in japan) (also my first time writing smut in like a year 😭)
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“4k a night? schlatt are you serious?” you ask looking at your ex boyfriend as he’s driving you both to the hotel, one hand on the wheel, one on your thigh
“what, there’s nothin wrong with it toots, you get to stay in a nice hotel and i get content” he says pulling up to the ritz carlton hotel
“yeah but i don’t get it..” you say crossing your arms “why spend so much money? i would be fine in a capsule hotel”
“lighten up doll” he says squeezing your thigh “you deserve to be spoiled a lil”
you rolled your eyes at him as he leaned in, puckering his lips slightly before you plant a soft kiss on his lips and he smiles
“let’s go doll” he says with a squeeze to your thigh and opening his door before walking over to open yours
You both entered the hotel and quickly got to your room, looking around at the large room as jack recorded your expression
you three walk into the bedroom, you laying down on the bed almost immediately, excited to finally get to lay down and relax while schlatt looks around the room, walking behind the “wall” the bed is against
“look doll, it’s got a fake wall” he says smiling at you “we won’t get complains about the bed hittin’ the wall ton-” “shut the fuck up schlatt” you say throwing one of the pillows from the bed at him as he laughs
you grab your phone, looking at the time “you’re not getting anything from me tonight, especially not in a expensive ass hotel, have some decorum” you say sitting up on the edge of the bed and looking though your phone
schlatt smiles at the camera “here’s a pro tip incase you ever have a special lady in your life” schlatt says looking to the camera, hands on his hips before walking infront of you and leaning down to your level
“don’t forget who’s paying for the hotel sweetheart, gotta give it up or you’re gonna be stuck in japan, no way home, no hotel, no money, got it” he says in a husky voice, squeezing your cheeks together with a large hand making you giggle softly, knowing he’s kidding
“yessir” you say softly
———
“look at you, takin’ m’ cock so good” schlatt says slowly pushing his length into you while you let out a silent scream, eyes rolling back at the familiar feeling of him stretching your tight cunt out
“so good, such a good girl” he coos “you ready precious thing?” he asks you softly, you nod as he pulls out gently, only leaving the tip in before shoving himself inside making you force out a sob
“Schlattt~” you whine out as he plunges in and out of your tight heat harshly, your legs thrown over his shoulders, forcing you into missionary
“what princess?” he coos “i thought you said i wasn’t gonna get. any. thing. tonight.” he said making sure to pound into you between every word and make you cry out as you cover your mouth with your hand, only for it to be harshly pulled away
“let. me. hear. those. pretty. sounds” schlatt demands, holding your hand, making you squeeze his hand and cry out in pleasure
you feel the familiar knot in your stomach starting to form, probably from going so long without schlatt. he looks down at you with a smug expression
“gonna cum for me so soon dolly?” he asks you softly. you nod, throwing your head back in pleasure
“f-fuck!” you wail out, schlatt shushing you softly, making you feel the familiar wave of euphoria hit before slowing his hips down as to not overstimulate you
“there we go, there we go pretty girl, so good” he coos, pressing small ‘o’s on your clit as you calm down from your high, him pressing a kiss to your forehead
once he notices your breaths starting to calm down he starts back up causing you to start crying out for him again
“still needa cum dolly” he says with a mischievous grin
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i need to be retrained in writing smut 😭
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blingblong55 · 5 months
Text
Matilda- Simon 'Ghost' Riley
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Photo creds:@ave661^
Based on a request:
Ghost finding out his s/o has a bad family, who she doesn’t keep in contact with but talks shit about and is like. Pretty open about how fucking awful her past was? if it’s too much I get it but like- I used to love your angst posts :3 they were so yummy! --- F!Reader, 18+, angst, comfort, family issues/trauma, mentions of SA/rape, mentions of eating disorders, toxic!family, mentions of child abuse, so...trigger warning!! ---
A/N: this is me trauma dumping so I'm sorry if it isn't perfect
Simon knew, he knew well that you weren't so open to starting a family with him for reasons he knew best to respect. But, one day, without him even realising he asked the question, you sat down and told him the story your teary eyes held for so long. As he listened to you explain the stories, he noticed how he wasn't speaking to his wife but to the little girl, his wife once was. The one who was left in a cruel world to people who shouldn't have had kids. "So, they...abused you?" He carefully asked and when he noticed you pause, he knew the answer you didn't. "I...I don't think so," your soft words spoke. 
Nothing about the way you were treated seemed especially alarming 'til now
"What I know is that they were mean, evil to me. I was a kid...how was I to know right from wrong so easily?" You held his hand, support you failed to have as a child. Then, you told him the story of a young R/N. "I don't remember the exact age, but I could've been 5 through 8. I was there, he took me to his room, I thought we were going to play and he said we would so would I have known, you know?" Your innocent voice spoke the fear he held. "I don't remember much of that day but in glimpses, if I look too deep, I can see his hands between my thighs, and how he...well...you know," you couldn't explain, it was like a knot in your throat prevented to cause your heart more harm. "And you didn't tell your parents?" His voice is soft. You shake your head, "No, I...as a kid, they never believed what I said," you chuckle out of coping with it all.
"There was one time when my older sister tried to suffocate me, I didn't do anything to deserve it, all I did was watch cartoons and she annoyed me but I knew best and didn't feed into what she wanted from me." You pause and wipe some tears away. Your gaze never fell on his, afraid to break down too easily if you stared at the man who became home to you so long ago. He was that, he was comfort and home and you knew that if you stole one glance, you would be sobbing the stories. Your hand held his tighter, he knew well it was for comfort. "She pressed the pillow tight on my head, I was sick and my stupid lungs couldn't take the fact I had pneumonia, so of course killing me would be easier," you chuckle again. His gaze never left your delicate face and even he had to admit he cried as you told him these stories. 
After a long sigh and pause you continue, "I somehow pushed her off me and ran to my parent's room, knocked loud and when my dad opened the door I swore I finally felt safe until I didn't," You know he was ready to ask why but you just laid your head on his shoulder. Looking off into the distance you continued, "My sister told them I pushed her, told her that I hated her, which is not true because hate is strong and she is my sister," you shake your head. "I cried when they didn't believe me, and had a panic attack in their room. and when I backed into a corner as my mother and father yelled at me...that's when they took my sister to the hallway and my mother stayed with me, she tried to hug me but I didn't need none of that...not from her." His hand rubbed your arm, knowing what you needed from him. You wipe some tears away, your breathing hitches and he wraps both arms around you. "I didn't hurt her Simon, I swear I didn't but no one believes me, no one," you whisper the last part. "I know you didn't, my love," he kisses your head and continues to rub your arm. 
"I believe you, I'll always believe you before anyone else," he reminds you. "I...my mother gave me water and sent me to my room, told me to just sleep it off," you stop and cry. "Oh my love," he whispers and carries you onto his lap. The pouty frown broke his heart more and more. The cosy home he and you made for the years of your life, warming up his belief that slowly, he will replace all those bad years. The fireplace radiates heat on the snowy winter day. "In this world, I'll always believe you, no matter what, okay, my love?" He looks down and you nod. "That's my girl," he says and places a blanket over you both. "Do you want to continue, my love?" He asks, rubbing your back with his warm touch. 
"I do," your voice is small. It was best to open about this and then burn it and let the ashes fly away than to keep it locked in for eyes to see. "I...as I grew up, I knew I had no place in that house. My mother shamed me for my body, and so did everyone in my family." Your head nuzzling onto his chest like a cat finding comfort. "So, I starved myself to be the perfect daughter. I did try to be perfect, I tried to get an I love you, a simple smile or hug." He nods, understanding where you came from. "One time, my mother grabbed my stomach, she told me I was fat and looking back at how I was at that age, I...I was healthy, nothing was ever wrong with me, nothing," you repeat in a whisper. 
After a long time of comfortable silence, you speak again. "As I grew older, they made me feel terrible about all of me, how I dressed, if I did my makeup, my hair, my body, the stretch marks that decorated my body, all of it and even I wasn't allowed to have one bad day, not one." He shook his head and in that instant, he understood why all those years of loving you, you always avoided starting a family conversation. You were afraid to be like them, to persist in a cycle of never-ending trauma. He knew you loved him, he knew how much you yearned to be a mum, to watch him and you become parents and do foolish things for and with your child. 
"I never understood why I was so insecure over my thighs or why I hated when people touched them, but as I grew older and noticed that I was...you know... I..um.." You could never be admitted, never say you were raped as a child, not when you were scared to acknowledge it again. "I know love," he responds so you don't torture your heart anymore. "But...when I realised what happened to me, that's when it all hit me and there was a time in my young life that I knew I would never forget," you kept holding onto his torso. "It hadn't been long after what that...person...did to me when my mum and sisters pinned me to the ground, they knew then that I disliked people touching my thighs so they pinned me to the ground and touched them," you shake your head, trying to forget the moment. "They...th-they touched my body as I cried and begged for them to stop and not once did anyone stop or help me. My father walked by and he...he just laughed and kept walking...how...how can you do that?" You cried. "How can a parent do that? I was a kid, Simon...a child," you broke down. 
"And don't get me started on why I felt like Christmas was just not a happy holiday anymore." Your mind went to a past Christmas, your family yelling, your father accused of his cheating, never denying, just lying and yelling at your mother. You hid in a closet, grabbed headphones and played music loudly. Hours passed and your mother saw fear within her eyes as she cried to you, why can he love me? she asked as she cried, you played strong. Your father drove away, leaving his family scared and cornered in a bathroom, crying as they listened to stories. 
"My dad used to hit me, well, my entire family really," you confessed. His eyes widened, he knew they were bad, but not this bad. "My dad had a belt he used to hit me with, my mother and sisters used to watch. One time, they added more fuel to the fire as they told him more lies to get me into more trouble, part of me thinks they loved to watch me cry and get hit." You so innocently say, "When I was a kid and even as I grew older, my mum and dad would hit me and tell me they did it because they loved me." He shook his head, "Never...never in your life do you dare think that way. If I even dare to lift my hand at you, you leave me, my love. Because no matter how much you or I love the other, abuse doesn't equal love," he cups your face. You nod. 
You learned one thing from Simon as he listened, that he was calm after the bad storm. He had his troubles, yes, but never would he be like them. He and you healed the other after all those years of a bad life you lived. You and him, sunshine to the other even in the darkest of the night. He has become light and a new beginning. Family. And as you admire the soul who can tell which smiles you are faking, you know that the little girl in you is finally safe. She has packed her dolls and sweater, moved to the countryside, grew up and fell in love with a man. A man who is home, a man who became the grown-up little R/N runs to when scared. For he is home, he is light and he is love. He is your man, your safe place and the one you find comfort in. 
I don't believe that time will change your mind In other words I know they won't hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go
"No more," he told you, you looked up at him in confusion. "No more?" you asked and he shook his head. "From this day on, you are not their blood, you are a Riley, you are R/N Riley and never will you be associated with them." He cupped your face. His tone was stern as he tried to make you listen to him. "They are not family, my love. They are strangers you lived with. And me...I am your family, we don't need another shit Christmas, we can...hm...we can have dinner here, or maybe get takeout and watch your favourite movies all day and night. Hey, who knows, maybe that Santa Clause man will come in the night as we sleep and hopefully you've been nice my love because I want him to bring you some good gifts," he chuckles as he cups your delicate face. You laugh a little, "Hey, look who's back, that cute laugh of yours my love," he kisses your lips and pulls you to him, closer than you already were. 
You can start a family who will always show you love You don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own
In this lifetime, you will learn many things and you will meet many people. Most of which will come and go. Those who stay, you may ask? Well, they become a family, maybe not a biological one but it's not blood that relates two strangers. It's memories, it's understanding, growing, living and loving. Family is him, family is the old lady or that professor you bonded with. Family is people who make you feel safe and at home. For if you are lucky, in this life you will find your Simon Riley. The person who wraps you in a warm blanket and loves you a little more when you hate the reflection in the mirror. And if you get even luckier, you will find that not only will it be Simon Riley who heals your old wounds and covers them in kisses and caresses. You will find yourself, maybe in ten years, getting covered in glitter, mud, and stickers and having the walls of your home drawn on by Simon's child. The love child that was created on a warm Christmas morning. The same one that wakes you up at six in the morning to go and see what the big red man brought them for Christmas. 
And if you are lucky enough, you will find peace. The same one you looked for since age 5, the same one you cried for throughout the years. Maybe it won't come this year, but if you are patient enough, you will find it and when you do, appreciate it because you cried for it many moons ago.
You don't have to be sorry, no
A/N: the tears I shed as I wrote this made a river. Anyway, thank you for letting me dump years of trauma with this one, love you all <3
Tags:
@ghostslillady @liyanahelena @sans-chara @siwwayouu @allaboutirem0 @just3rowsing @mothcelestial @blankk3
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Text
Can I Show You?
pairing: Toji x Reader
warnings: vaginal sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, Toji calls reader "good girl"
synopsis: Toji wants to show you how much he loves you in the only way he knows how.
word count: 5.5k i went off lmfao
a/n: This was so hard for me to write because I felt like the sex scenes were just so empty. I've been going back and forth with this fic for a month and I'm just gonna post it bc fuck it. Also I love Toji dearly and I really wanted to write something that showed a softer side to him.
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You're reading Megumi a bedtime story when you hear the front door open and close. 
“Papa!!” The little boy exclaimed excitedly. He quickly jumps out of his covers and slides off the bed backwards, his legs not quite long enough to reach the ground yet. He was only 3 after all. 
You smile warmly at your son's enthusiasm and can't help your own giddiness at your husband coming home. 
You close the book and follow Megumi's path out to the front room. 
“Hey son,” Toji picks Megumi up in his arms, “did you take care of Mama while I was gone?” Toji asks, glancing over at where your body was resting against the wall. 
“Yes!! I always take care of Mama!” Megumi replied. 
“Good, I'm glad.” At that Toji walked over to you, a small smile on his face as he bent down to give you a quick kiss on the lips. 
You looked up at him, “Welcome home. We missed you.”
His eyes softened as he looked between you and Megumi, “I missed you guys too. I'm happy to be home.” 
Normally, Toji was home in time for dinner, but since the holidays were coming up he'd been picking up extra shifts to afford gifts. 
“We were in the middle of reading a bedtime story if you'd like to join?” You ask. 
Before Toji could reply Megumi was bouncing excitedly in his arms, “Yeah!! Want Papa too!”
Toji smiles, “All right.” 
Once Megumi is settled back in bed with the both of you sitting on either side of him, you begin to read. As you do, Toji can’t help but to take it all in. A wife. A son. A job. A home. He doesn't know how he got so lucky. 
He looks over at you as you read, his loving wife, with a soul so pure he felt like he tainted it just by being near you. What did you see in him? How could you love someone like him?
He looks down at the little boy tucked under his blankets. His son, who has your eyes and kindness. How could something so perfect be half of him? He didn’t think he was good for anything but ending lives, but here sat a life that he helped create. His blessing. 
Looking between you both, Toji felt like he didn't deserve either of you. He never imagined in a million years that he would have this. A normal life. Not with the way he used to live. And he especially never thought he'd be a father. With how shitty his upbringing was he was afraid he would fuck up whatever kid he had. But with your guidance, and a lot of self-help books, you were both making it work. He would do anything for this family. It was his only one, as far as he was concerned. 
After you finished the book you both gave Megumi a kiss goodnight and retreated to your own room. 
As soon as the door closed, Toji's hands were on you, gently cupping your face. You gazed into his green eyes and in them you saw nothing but adoration and devotion. He's come such a long way since you first met him. 
“Do you know how much I love you?” He asks. 
You giggle, “Yes, you love me a lot. You say it all the time.”
At that he rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes, “I love you more than that. I don't...I don't know how to convey how much I love you.” Toji didn’t know love until he met you. All he knew was abuse and hatred and resentment. How could he properly express how much love he felt for your family and what you've built? He could tell you he loves you every hour of every day for the rest of your lives and it wouldn’t be enough. You and Megumi meant everything to him. He doesn't know what he would do, who he would be, without the two of you. 
His eyes open again and your heart aches at how desperate he looks. “The both of you mean everything to me. Everything.” 
You can feel how hard he's trying to get his feelings across to you, pleading with his eyes for you to understand. 
You respond by gently placing your hand over the one he has on your cheek, and placing your other hand directly over his heart, “I know, Toji. I know. We both know and we love you too. So very much.”
You both gaze into each other's eyes for a second longer and you hope he believes you. He's never felt worthy of your love. You knew about his past, he didn't hide it from you, but he changed his ways. For you. He started working on himself and got a regular 9-5 working on HVAC systems. He puts his entire self into your little family, or at least as much as he can. You can tell he's still hesitant about being a father. Like he's afraid he'll break Megumi. But you believe in him. 
“What did I do to deserve you.” He says and starts planting kisses all along your face. 
You giggle at his affection, “I could be asking myself that about you.”
He stops kissing you for a second and looks at you, “I definitely got the better end of the deal here sweetheart let's not kid ourselves.” And he goes back to kissing your jawline and down your neck. 
“You make me happy and feel loved. I couldn't ask for anything more.” The end of your sentence comes out breathy as Toji starts nibbling at a certain spot above your collarbone.
“Can I show you? Please, can I show you how much I love you?” He murmurs against your neck.
You nod. You know Toji has a hard time expressing himself with words, but his feelings are always evident in his actions. He likes to surprise you with flowers on random days of the week, with your favorite breakfast in bed on the weekend, with a foot rub or a back massage when you’re sore. But most telling of all is how much he’s changed. He went from being closed off and dangerous to a hard-working family man. It took a lot of work, but he met you at every step of the way in trying to better himself. You know him showing his love for you in this way is as much for you as it is for him. He needs you to know how he feels and this is one of the ways he knows how to do it.
With one last kiss to your forehead, Toji picks you up effortlessly and lays you gently on the bed, hovering over you as he brushes his lips against yours, looking into your eyes. This close you could see just how green they were. A dark green, like a dense forest lit up only by the light of a full moon. 
He planted a light kiss on your lips, not breaking eye contact, “I love you, y/n.”
“I love you too, Toji”
He finally broke eye contact as he trailed light kisses down your jaw and to your neck and then across your collarbones and back up the other side of your neck and jaw. He was slow and thorough with his kisses, like he had all the time in the world. 
You closed your eyes to focus on the way his full lips felt on your sensitive skin. He hadn’t even really touched you yet but you were already feeling hot. Something about how slow and deliberate he was being was getting you worked up.
His lips were on yours once again, moving against them slowly. You felt his tongue lightly trace your bottom lip and you opened your mouth wider for him. His tongue in your mouth immediately found your own and circled it before licking the roof of your mouth and inside of your cheeks. 
Your hands found their way into his hair, holding him to you as he continued to move his lips against yours. You couldn’t help the light moans that were escaping you, you wanted more, and you could tell he wanted more too by the way he looked at you after disconnecting your lips to breathe. His pupils were wide and his breath was warm against your swollen lips. 
He stroked your rosy cheek with one hand before pressing one last kiss to your lips and then hooking his arm behind your back, pulling you into a sitting position. 
He grabbed your shirt by the bottom hem and pulled it over you, followed by unhooking your bra and throwing them both to the side. 
He looked at your bare torso, your nipples beginning to harden from the sudden cold, “Beautiful. You’re so beautiful.” 
You couldn’t help but blush. 
“Lay back down for me.” He whispered to you and grabbed your hand and held your back in his other one, guiding you back down. 
When you were situated he got to work on removing your leggings and panties, leaving you naked.
He laid down next to you and kissed you softly, hand cupping your face, but then slowly running down the length of your body, his featherlight touch making you shiver. He passed his hand over your sternum, then down your stomach before angling towards your hip and then rubbing down your thigh towards your knee before retracing his steps up the other side of your body. He was avoiding your erogenous zones which was starting to drive you crazy. You wanted him to touch you goddamn it. You could already feel the wetness gathering between your thighs as his languid movements made your pussy pulse. 
“Toji I ne-”
“Shh, sweetheart, I’ll get there.” He whispered, cutting you off with a thick finger to your lips.
Despite his words, though, he did finally give you some relief. He moved down so he could take one of your pebbled nipples into his mouth while his hand played with the other one. 
His tongue licked circles over your areolas, occasionally flicking your nipple. He moved to the other one to repeat the process. Each flick and roll of his tongue sent sparks of pleasure running through you. Toji was a master with his tongue and knew exactly what to do to make you feel good.
You ran your fingers through his hair as he continued to suck and lick and massage your breasts, squeezing your thighs together to get the stimulation you were desperate for. 
You let out a breathy sigh, holding his head close to your chest, enjoying the feel of his lips sucking on your nipple. He finally paused to look up at your relaxed face, “You’re beautiful.” He said as he caressed your cheek. 
You smiled and he leaned forward to kiss your lips again. As they moved against you, his hand once again traced down your body, but instead of deviating at your navel, it traced straight down to your mound. At the feeling of his hand trailing lower you opened your legs for him, eager for his touch to soothe the ache you felt. 
His middle finger traveled right over your clit, causing you to moan lightly, until it rested right at your entrance, with his ring and and index fingers right next to it on your pussy lips. 
He let out a sigh upon feeling how wet you were, his cock aching against his pants. But he wouldn’t give in to his own pleasure. Not yet. He needed to show you how he worshiped the ground you walked on. How he would do anything for you, no matter what it cost him. 
Looking at you through half-lidded eyes he gently pushed his finger into you, making you arch your back and moan. 
Finally you thought. 
His lips continued moving against yours as he started to move his finger, pumping it slowly in and out. You sighed against him, his thick finger giving you some relief but also making you want more. As if he could read your mind, he added another finger, scissoring them inside of you. 
“Ohhh” You moaned, arching your back again. The extra friction you felt from his added finger was just what you needed. 
Toji broke away from your lips and moved back down to your breasts, hooking his fingers inside of you at the same time he took a nipple into his mouth.
“Fuck” You let out a breathless sigh, burying your hands in his hair. 
He moved his fingers faster, hitting that sweet spot each time he pushed his fingers in.  A squelching sound filled the room as his fingers easily slipped in and out of you and he sighed against your nipples. Your pussy was drenching his fingers, he needed to taste you.
He gave your nipple one last suck before kissing his way down your body until his head rested between your legs. 
He saw how wet you were, the puddle forming under you as you squirmed and moaned from his ministrations. He bent his head down and breathed in your scent, letting out a low groan. What a perfect pussy, he thought. So wet and so beautiful and all his. His cock twitched at the thought of sliding into you, but he had a ways to go before he allowed himself to find any pleasure. He needed to make sure you understood how much he loved you first. 
With that he removed his fingers, sucking on them to taste you before peppering kisses on the inside of your thighs, causing you to whine and thrust your hips up. 
“Toji stop teasing me.” you said breathlessly. 
He looked at you through half-lidded, lust-filled eyes, “Anything for you.” 
And then his eyes fell back onto your dripping cunt before he dragged the tip of his tongue from the bottom of your entrance all the way to the top, licking up the wetness overflowing from you. 
“Haaaaah” you gave out a breathy sigh, relishing in the delicate touch of his tongue. 
He licked the length of your entrance a few more times before he moved up slightly to lick your clit.The light circles he was making had you stuttering. 
You once again put your hands in his hair, trying to hold him in place so you could grind your clit on his tongue. 
He let you, holding his tongue out flat and against you, giving you the stimulation you desired. 
“Oh Toji” you moaned as you moved your hips on his tongue. 
But before you could get carried away he closed his mouth, wrapping his arms around your thighs and holding you still so you couldn’t move anymore. You were about to complain until his lips latched around your clit and he started sucking, causing you to gasp. 
He alternated sucking and licking, making you moan loudly, “Oh Toji it feels so good.” 
He detached from your clit, “I know sweetheart, yer moans sound so good.” His voice was thick with desire.
He moved back down to your entrance, licking up the mixture of his saliva and your juices that were staining the bed. But this time, he kept rubbing your clit with his thumb while he prodded you with his tongue. The feel of his soft tongue against your folds had you moving your hips, desperate for more. He obliged, sticking his tongue in you and licking your walls. 
You moaned loudly, “Oh babyy, oh Toji, fuck.” You were gasping at how good it felt. His tongue started thrusting in and out of you as he continued rubbing circles on your clit. His lips were pushed up against yours, trying to get his tongue as deep into you as he could. You tasted salty and sweet. It was a taste he could never get tired of.
You could feel that familiar sensation building up in you and you arched your back, gasping and moaning, pulling his hair. He moaned in response, feeling your walls begin to tighten around his tongue and doing his best to maintain his rhythm with how much you were squirming. He tucked your thighs further against him to stabilize you.
The lewd noises of his moans and the wet sound of his tongue lapping into and against you pushed you further to the edge. 
“Toji, oh, oh Toji I’m gonna cum I’m gonna-”
You got cut off by your own release. Waves of pleasure wracked your body, causing you to buck your hips up in time with each one. 
Toji continued working you through your orgasm, never once disconnecting his lips or thumb, and moaning as his tongue was coated in your orgasm. 
When it was finally over you were laying there, limp and breathing hard with a layer of sweat on you. 
He finally looked up from your cunt, his chin and lips shimmering with your essence and then he licked his tongue around his mouth, all while keeping eye contact with you. You couldn’t help but blush. 
“Did you like that? Yer pussy tastes so good I could eat it every day for every meal and never get tired of it.”
You giggled, “I mean you already try almost every day so I don’t doubt if you didn’t have work that you would try for multiple times a day.”
Seeing your smile made a small one paint his own face. He kissed his way back up your body and as he came to be parallel to you, you slid your hand down to feel the thick bulge in his pants. 
He groaned at your touch, closing his eyes and putting his forehead on yours. 
After a second he gently grabbed your wrist and brought it to his mouth, lightly kissing from your wrist to the crook of your elbow, leaning over you to kiss up further to your shoulder and then your neck, sucking gently on the spot above your clavicle that caused you to tilt your head and moan. 
Your hand traveled up to hold his head as he sucked and nipped at your neck, your other hand traveling up his shirt to feel his muscled torso. His boner was pushed up against your thigh and you wanted to touch him. To give him some relief. So you trailed your hand back down his stomach, going for the waistband of his jeans before he once again grabbed your wrist and brought it to his lips, mimicking what he had just done to your other side. 
“Toji, I wanna touch you.” You pouted.
He pulled his face back to look at you, “I know sweetheart, but I want this to be about you right now. I want to focus everything I have on you. You come first. Always.” The deeper meaning behind his words was not lost on you, and your eyes softened, bringing your hand up to caress his cheek as your eyes landed on the scar on his lips. 
You trailed your fingers over his lips to trace it. You knew Toji endured a lot of trauma as a child. The fact that, despite it all, he could be so loving and tender, was amazing. 
You looked back into his vulnerable green eyes, “I love you. So much.”
His brows furrowed every so slightly, “I love you too, y/n. More than I could ever explain or even show you... But I’m trying.” And he looks at you with those pleading eyes again. 
You hold his cheek and lean in to kiss him, your lips moving to the harmony of your love. It’s slow and familiar. These lips have danced together a thousand times but still manage to leave you both breathless and lightheaded. Trying to convey with motion what you can’t with words. 
You break briefly, both panting against each other, and you’re once again squeezing your thighs together for stimulation. You wanted to feel him in you, to feel his body on yours as he moved with you. 
You look at him, “Toji.” And he can see what you want in your eyes. What you need. So he pulls back from you, allowing you to unbutton and unzip his pants as he takes off his shirt. He then helps you pull his pants off along with his boxers. His thick length springs out and your mouth waters. How badly you wanted to taste him, his tip coated in precum. But before you can bend your head down towards him, he’s pushing you back so he can hover over you, caging you in with his hardened, muscled arms. Your hair spread out on the pillow under you.
You can feel his dick resting on your mound, and then he starts moving back and forth, the friction making you moan. 
“I love you.” he says again, and you run your hands along his arms and torso before wrapping them around his neck, pulling him close to you as you simultaneously wrap your legs around his hips, “I know Toji. Now show me.”
His eyes widen slightly, and then he’s slowly pushing his tip into your entrance, causing you both to moan into each other. 
He takes it slow so you can get used to him, pushing just a little bit in at a time, each extra inch going in causing you both to moan, until he’s finally bottomed out, both of you breathing hard. 
He plants kisses all over your face, keeping himself still so you can adjust to him. He stretches you out in the best way. You feel so full, like you couldn’t possibly take any more.
He plants one more kiss on your lips before he slowly pulls out and thrust back in. You can’t help the loud groan that escapes you. This is what you’ve been wanting. His dick is so perfectly suited to hit you in all the right places and the way he moves his hips is divine. 
He does it again. And again and again until he’s built up a rhythm. In and out in and out. Slow but deep. A familiar squelching sound filling the air every time he pushes back into you. 
“Oh god Toji, oh fuck.” You moan as he continues his tender assault. 
“Yes sweetheart I know,” he breathes, “I know I know it’s so good.”
And he bends his head down to suck on your nipples again while one of his arms slips under your hips to angle you up slightly, allowing him to go deeper and hit that perfect spot that has you panting. His slow, long strokes allow you to feel every vein on his cock as they rub against your gummy walls. Each thrust sends shockwaves of pleasure through you.
You look down to watch his hips connect with yours, and when he pulls out you can see your slick glistening on his shaft. The hard muscles of his body tensing each time he pushes back in. 
He lets go of your nipple as he sees you watching, “Do I make you feel good?” he asks, moving to suck on your neck.
“Yes” you moan in response. 
“Good” he gives a shaky breath, kissing up your neck to connect back with your lips, “I love you” he says against them, thrusting in again and grunting. 
You can barely gasp out an ‘i love you too’ as you feel your high approaching. The way he’s making love to you, he’s telling you he loves you with his lips and his hips in unison. He’s going so slow but every stroke hits you in just the right spot and you can feel your body tensing. The slow build up coiling to an almost painful tension. 
“Oh, oh, mmmm Toji i’m, oh i’m gonna cum again Toji.” You cry. 
He keeps thrusting languidly into you, “Cum for me baby girl. Let me feel you.” He says, watching your face. He wants to see exactly how you look when you cum for him. 
At his words your body is wracked with its second orgrasm of the night. His thrusts slow down to an almost full stop as your pussy clamps down on him and he groans, doing his best to keep his own orgasm at bay.
You rock your hips up into him as your orgasm passes through you, nails biting into his back. You can’t help how loudly you moan, the tension finally releasing from your core and spilling all over him. You hold him tightly to you as you ride the waves of pleasure and milk his cock, crying out his name over and over the whole time. 
He has to bury his face in your neck so he can focus on not cumming but the way you’re moaning his name and spasming on his cock is testing his ability. 
When you’ve finally settled down, he pulls back from the crook of your neck to look at your fucked out face, “I love you.” he says as he plants a kiss on your cheek. But before you can respond he’s moving inside of you again, causing you to groan because you’re still feeling the lingering pleasure from your last orgasm. 
“I love you.” he says as his pace picks up again. Except he goes a bit harder this time and he bends your knees to your chest, putting you in a mating press. You let out a lewd moan at the new angle. He’s going in so deep you can feel his tip kissing your cervix with each thrust. 
“You’re so beautiful y/n. I love you so much. So fucking much.” he whispers in his ear as he fucks you harder. You can hear his balls slapping against your ass, adding another sound to the symphony you were both creating. 
“Oh fuck Toji” you whine. 
“I know, baby. You take me so well. So goddamn well.” He grunts in your ear. You can barely focus your eyes, your mouth perpetually open as your breath is pushed out of you with each deep thrust. He’s bottoming out each time, using his body weight to keep your knees to your chest while his arms are on either side of you to hold himself up. Your cunt feels so full. There isn’t a single spot inside of you that his dick isn’t touching. That combined with his balls slapping against your ass have you panting again, the pleasure once again building in your core.
“Fuck Toji. Fuck, f-fuck.” you pant out as your finger nails dig into his back, trying to deal with the intense sensations and the rapid tightening as you climb towards another orgasm. 
Toji hovers over you, hips rutting against yours and watches your tits bounce with each firm thrust. You were a sight to behold. Such a beautiful woman and all his. All his to love and adore. 
“Cum for me again, y/n. Let me feel you again.” He breathes, moving to suck on your neck. After a few more deep thrusts you’re quickly cumming on him once more. Body tensing but unable to properly release the tension because of the position, causing you to just feel the full brunt of your orgasm. You start screaming his name when his lips find yours, swallowing your pleasure while your body convulses under him and he does his best to fuck you through it, moaning deeply into your mouth. Your pussy spasms around his dick, tightening and causing him to groan. The pleasure is blinding, you don’t feel anything except your orgasm as you body shakes and your pussy gushes and pulses around him. It takes a minute for you to finally come back to your senses and you realize Toji had released your legs and stopped moving inside you. 
“Did you cum?” You slur, breathless and fucked out. 
He looks at you, panting and pupils blown, “No. You told me to show you how much I love you. You think my love amounts to only a few orgasms?” And at that he lifts you up so you’re straddling his lap, dick never leaving you. 
You put your arms around his neck to stabilize yourself as he starts moving once again. 
“Tojiiii.” you whine, starting to feel overstimulated. 
“I know you have one more in you sweetheart.” He says as he takes one of your arms from around his neck and kisses and licks at your wrist. You groan because it does feel good but fuck you’re so spent already. 
“Don’t worry,” He puts your arm back over his shoulder, “Let me do everything.” And he grabs your hips in his big hands and lifts you off of him before bringing you back down. The angle with which he brings you back down causes your clit to rub against him and you moan at the spark of pleasure it ignites. Maybe you did have another one in you. 
“That’s my girl. Let me make you feel good, let me show you what you mean to me.” 
You moan at his words and lean against him, arms loosely wrapped around his neck as he fucks you onto him over and over, rubbing your clit against him each time. 
The new position isn’t as deep as the last one but the stimulation to your clit is making up for it. Your breathing is erratic and you let out quiet curses as the pleasure builds inside you.
Toji moans in your neck, feeling your tits dancing against his chest with each thrust and the fat of your ass jiggling under his hands. He won't be able to hold out this time and picks up the pace, pulling you down onto him harder and faster.
Both of you start moaning louder as you get closer to your final release. 
You’re like a ragdoll hanging against him, all you can do is moan as you begin to feel that tightness again. 
“Toji...Toji...” you moan weakly. His pace picks up even more as does his breathing, and your clit is getting even more friction now. Your body starts tensing and Toji’s moaning against your shoulder.
“Come on, y/n. One more. Mmm, y/n let me give you one more.” He grunts out. Trying to hold back. 
He moves you a few more times, sucking on that spot above your clavicle that you like and it leads to your undoing. You cling to him as you cry out, pussy spasming around his dick as you climax. The tightness along with your screams of pleasure and your body wrapped around him cause Toji to reach his high as well. 
He’s thrusting into you once, twice, three more times, cumming into you as deep as he can, whispering “I love you I love you I love you” through his whole orgasm, crushing your body against his as he holds you tight.
You both stay like that for a little bit, just holding each other and breathing hard. 
Toji catches his breath first, kissing your shoulder, “You okay?”
You couldn’t help but giggle, this man just fucked you senseless in the most tender way. You were more than okay. “Yeah.”
He pulled back, “What’s funny?” He asks with a small smile on his face. 
You look into his green eyes, “Nothing. I just love you.”
His eyes soften, “I love you too, y/n. So much.” And he kisses the inside of your arm that’s still resting on his shoulder. 
Toji starts leaning back to lay down on the bed, holding you close to his chest as he does. You lay there on him, listening to the sound of his heartbeat while he strokes your back. 
“Thank you.” Toji says quietly. 
“Huh?” You sit up slightly to look at him. You weren’t sure if you heard him correctly. 
He clears his throat, “thank you” he says a little more firmly. 
You sit up more now so you can look into his face, “Why are you thanking me?”
His hand continues to lightly stroke your back, “I wouldn’t have any of this if it wasn’t for you. This job, this home, Megumi...Everything that makes me happy is because of you.” He looks directly into your eyes as he says it, and you see how much he truly believes it. You wish Toji thought better of himself. You wish he could understand how much he meant to your family. That he could understand and see just how much Megumi and you loved him. You were thinking about how to get through to him when an idea crossed your mind.
You ran your hands up his chest and to his cheek, moving forward to kiss his scar, causing his soft cock to finally fall out of you. 
“I know you love me, Toji. And I know you love Megumi and our family and everything we’ve built together. It wasn’t all me though. You’ve grown into a man I’m proud to call my husband and become a father that Megumi adores. We love you, Toji. I love you...” You trail off briefly before meeting his eyes again, “Can I show you how much I do?” You ask, leaning forward to pepper kisses along his jaw. 
His eyes widened at your implication and he laughed, pulling you back to look at you, “How did I get so lucky?” And his lips were on yours again, dancing to the next song. 
320 notes · View notes
skzdarlings · 3 days
Text
bodyguard: the first guard | part three | chan/reader
masterlist.
(part one of the previous story.)
part one | part two | part three | tba
( read on AO3 )
A sequel to the Bodyguard. Miroh’s daughter is assigned a bodyguard of her own. The past is confronted when old friendships and new enemies are pushed to the brink.
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pairing: bang chan/reader content info: sequel to the bodyguard (felix/reader). this is a new reader perspective. the previously established story dyanmics: explicit violence, mentions of torture. mentions of past sexual abuse, detailed descriptions of needles. chapter word count: 12,525 words.
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B E F O R E
“Happy fourteenth birthday.”
Felix looks up from his work.   He underperformed in training today and landed himself a punishment.  His good record spared him anything too painful, but he has been assigned cleaning duty.  Taking apart, cleaning, and reassembling weapons is not difficult work – he could do it in his sleep – but it is tedious.
Tedium is its own kind of torture, especially these days with his mind in a state of tumult.  He has grown closer to Chris with each passing day.  Felix knows they are not meant to think of each other as friends, just fellow soldiers, but that is the word Felix uses.
My friend.
That is who stands over Felix now.  Chris is smiling and holding something wrapped in what looks like a kitchen napkin.  Felix blinks at it, then furrows his brow.
“Huh?”  Felix says.  “It’s not my birthday.”
“Could be!” Chris says. 
Felix supposes Chris has a point.  Felix does not actually know his own birthday because he bounced around foster care before he found himself in Miroh’s program.  If his birthday was recorded anywhere, no one told him what it was.  So it could be his birthday.  The odds are not great but not impossible.
“Um,” Felix says, because no one has ever wished him a happy – or happy possible – birthday.  He guesses the best reply is, “Thanks?”
“It’s not a trick, man,” Chris says, smiling.  He laughs at Felix, though it doesn’t feel cruel, and ruffles his hair before shoving the little wrapped item at him.  “Here,” Chris says.  “Got it especially for you.”
Felix unfolds the napkin and finds a cookie.  It’s not the kind of food that is served at the regiment because their diet is so strict.  Food is a sustenance and not a pleasure.
“Wow,” Felix says.  It is a genuine surprise.  Chris had to go out of his way to get this. 
Felix feels embarrassed.  He still struggles to cope with feeling in general.  He almost yearns for a simpler, more naïve time, when he didn’t have to think or feel, just trust and follow.  Now he is a flustered knot of embarrassment because Chris is giving him presents just because Felix mentioned he had never received one.  It was an off-handed remark a few days ago, that he didn’t know his birthday and had never received a present but that it didn’t matter because he didn’t deserve it.
And he didn’t, he doesn’t, deserve any of it.  Not a birthday wish or a thoughtful gift or Chris’s friendship.  Felix has so much blood on his hands and he doesn’t how much of it is innocent.  He never counted his kills like some other agents, stupid kids bragging to seem bigger and more powerful than their circumstances.   Felix never did it for glory.  He knew his place.  Now he doesn’t count them because it doesn’t matter.  It all comes back to him when he closes his eyes.  He remembers what they were wearing, what they said before they died, the things they begged to a naïve, indifferent child.
He doesn’t count them because he doesn’t need a number to know it’s too much and he will never be able to take it back.  He doesn’t deserve birthdays and friendships and Chris.  He never will.
He doesn’t say this out loud.  He knows Chris will argue with him, belligerent in his kindness and reassurance.  Felix won’t listen in turn.  The conversation would be useless.  Rather than bother, Felix asks, “Where did you get it?” 
“Hey, I know I’m trouble,” Chris says, still smiling, “but I got connections too, you know?” 
Felix guesses he means Miroh’s daughter as she is the only agent with outside connections.  They seem to have a tenuous understanding because she and Chris get in the most trouble.  Chris, because he still bristles at commands and steps out of line.  Her, because she’s Miroh’s daughter and held to a higher standard than the rest of them.
Chris can befriend almost anyone, garnering admiration in his peers if nothing else.  His rebellious streak means no one wants visible association with him, but in the quietest of corners there is a whispered respect for the First Guard.  He is as notorious as he is skilled and he has a natural leadership.
Felix supposes it is not outside the realm of possibility that even Miroh’s daughter would consider Chris a friend – but only somewhere even quieter than most.
Felix does not consider Miroh’s daughter a friend and he doubts he ever will.  Her proximity to Miroh makes her an even bigger liability than Chris.  Felix would never get close to someone like that, born into their position and too close to power for his liking.
“Miroh’s daughter, you mean,” Felix says.
Felix might keep his musings close to his heart, but that doesn’t mean Chris can’t read them anyway.  Chris is a soldier by instinct if not choice.  He is always one step ahead.  It’s like he is inside Felix’s head.  He seems to know what Felix will do before Felix does.
“Yeah,” Chris says.  He rubs the back of his neck, breathing deeply.  He looks almost sheepish, as if admitting he knows better.  “She’s not that bad when you get to know her.  Really.”
Felix is certain he looks unconvinced.  It makes Chris laugh.
“You look worried,” Chris says. 
“I do worry about you,” Felix says.  He looks down at the cookie in his hand.  It is hard to say out loud, but he manages a weak, “You’re my friend.”
Chris is suspiciously quiet.  When Felix looks up, Chris has a determination to his countenance. 
“Find me when you’re done here,” Chris says.  “I wanna show you something.”
Felix, as usual, does as he is told.  When his punishment ends, he tracks Chris to the barracks where the older boy is patiently waiting.  He claps Felix on the shoulder but otherwise doesn’t stop to greet him.  He is a little skittish as he leads Felix to their mysterious destination.
It is not so extraordinary in the end.  Nothing around here is.  Everything is cold chrome and sleek silver, one room much like the next, branded by Miroh as surely as its occupants.
Chris knocks out a ventilation panel then leads Felix to what looks like an unused crawl space, forgotten and collecting dust.
“Welcome to my office,” Chris jokes, still with that nervous laughter.  It is putting Felix on edge.
“Is everything all right?” Felix asks.
“Well, no, Felix,” Chris says.  “It isn’t.  You know that now, don’t you?”
A couple years of shared assignments between the best and second best, the rebellious and the reluctant.  A couple years of watching Miroh bludgeon his way through the world.  A couple years of regret.
A couple years of friendship to change everything.
“Yeah,” Felix says.  It is all he needs to say.
“Sit,” Chris says.  There is a corner of the room that has been cleared of dust, this part of the hideaway evidently well-used.  “Let’s talk.” 
Whatever conversation Felix expects to have, it is not the one he gets.  He sits and watches Chris, watches him breathe and measure his words.   Chris is usually confident in what he has to say, even when staring down a barrel of a gun.  This is more than disconcerting.
“I’ve been talking to some others in the program,” Chris says.  “We’re all growing up.  I’ll be eighteen soon.  If we’re already strong, we’re just gonna get stronger.  Miroh has complete control over us.  I’m scared that if we don’t do something about it soon, then everything is going to get worse.  A lot, lot worse.”
“Do something,” Felix says, his mind going a mile a minute.  “What do you mean?  Who else have you told about this?”
“People I consider friends,” Chris says.  He puts a hand on Felix’s shoulder.  “People like you, Felix.”
He thinks of the cookie in his pocket.  His heart punches up with alarm. 
“Miroh’s daughter?”  Felix asks and this time he knows for certain his thoughts are very clear.  He says her name – not even her name, her position, the daughter and heir of the very thing Chris wants to fight – and he says it with the obvious inflection of what-the-fuck-are-you-thinking? 
“She’s a friend,” Chris says in a voice he usually reserves for an enemy.  It startles Felix into silence.  Seeing that, Chris smiles, trying to lighten the mood.  “You don’t have to trust her,” Chris says.  “Just trust me.  Felix, I want to get us out, all of us.  I don’t want that man or any other man like him to hurt anyone else.  Not kids, not adults, not anyone.  I won’t put you in more danger, I swear.  That’s the opposite of what I want.  I’m gonna protect you, okay?  I’m gonna protect all of you.  When the time comes to take a stand, I just want you to be ready.  If something happens, if it all goes wrong…”
Felix looks at him, alarm and worry plain on his young face.  Chris squeezes his shoulder again.
“If…” Chris swallows then continues, “If it is all goes wrong, I’ll pay the price alone.  But I’d rather die trying to save all of you than live another day hurting innocent people for Miroh.”
“Chris—” Felix starts, an argument on his tongue.
“Don’t,” Chris says firmly.  “If there was anything worth dying for, Felix, then it’s this.  I’m gonna get you out.  I’m gonna get you all out.  I swear.  Just be ready for when I say.  Just trust me.  Just be my friend.”
Felix spends a week after that in a state of restless turmoil.  He sleeps poorly and fights worse and even spends a night in the Cell for his mistakes. 
He doesn’t know what to think about Chris and his intentions.  It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.   But if it worked…
It wouldn’t take the blood off Felix’s hands, but it would be a start to something better.  Felix has little thought for his own fate, undeserving as he is, but he thinks about Chris.  Chris, the First Guard, who has been here the longest, who has watched the most people die, who has been punished the worst.
Chris deserves better.
Felix believes in Chris.  He believes if Chris made an effort, then he would have what it takes to make a difference.  Felix knows Chris is capable. He could do what he sets out to do.
It is not Chris that Felix worries about.
Felix observes Miroh’s daughter, studying her more closely than ever before.  Felix trusts Chris’s general discretion but he worries Chris has a blind spot concerning her.  They are the only two in their age category and they share a small barrack, the forced proximity undoubtedly creating a semblance of intimacy.  Chris might trust her but Felix is not so biased.  All he sees is Miroh. 
Felix watches her.  She doesn’t spend much time with Chris in public, her only close relationship with Seo Changbin.  They are a bit notorious together.  Felix would not call them the best fighters but they are tricky.  He is pretty sure they throw their fights with each other and embellish more than necessary.  Both like a good skull crash, more brutal than efficient.  The trickery and brutality makes Felix more wary of her.
At the same time, her obvious friendship with Changbin shows she can care about someone else.  The pair throw a mean punch but always patch each other up after.
Chris catches Felix watching them.  They are having a go in the ring, punching and flipping, grinning when they think no one is watching.  They have smiles just for each other.
“You look really deep in thought, mate,” Chris says, laughing.  He hands Felix a water bottle while toweling down his own sweaty neck.
“Huh?” Felix finally breaks his concentration.  He takes the water and smiles one of his instinctive but fake smiles – the kind he uses on a mission, when he is trying to convince an adversary that he is an innocent, unassuming kid.
Chris sees through it, of course.  He lifts an eyebrow at Felix then follows his line of sight to the ring.
“What?” Chris says, laughing again.  His own ears turn a little red as he teases, “You got a crush on her or something?”
“Ew, shut up,” Felix says, throwing his own towel at him.  He feels flushed despite the fact it is vehemently untrue.  He is not used to being provoked with that line of teasing.  “No,” he says certainly.  “I have no feelings for anyone.  But I think they might.”
“Huh?”  Chris looks between Felix and the ring.  “What do you mean?”
“I mean, look at them,” Felix says.  “They’re a little too close, don’t you think?” 
Presently, Miroh’s daughter has Changbin pinned to the mat.  She is on top of him and whispering something that makes them both snicker.
Chris stares at them.  After a beat of contemplative silence, he laughs.  Felix recognizes the fake sound, the same disarming humour Felix uses when conning someone.   
“Yeah,” Chris says.  “Hey, I’ll be right back, yeah?”  
Felix watches Chris amble over.  He says something to the duo and Changbin retaliates with some non-descript shouting and flailing.  Miroh’s daughter rolls her eyes.  She grabs Chris by the collar and yanks him into a fight. 
The rest of the day progresses without much fuss or bother.  Miroh has no jobs for them today so the schedule is just training and recuperation. 
Felix manages to avoid punishment today.  He tries expelling his anxiety in a fight but it does not fully work.  Felix has come to realize he is not very good at letting go.  Belief, emotion, the good, the bad: all of gets clutched in his fists and held to his heart.
Fighting tires him but it is not a satisfying tired, of exerted muscles and a pumping heart.  He feels weary and everything everywhere is so loud, the chrome and steel of the Miroh facilities like an echoing dome.  It cycles all that noise in an agonizing reverberation.  It feels inescapable.  He goes to the barracks which are smaller but it makes the claustrophobia worse.
Laying in his bunk, rubbing his temples, Felix dreams of a quiet room of his own.
It is then he remembers Chris’s hideaway.  Chris miraculously dodged punishment today so he retreated to the barracks a while ago.  Felix doesn’t want to disturb him but he figures Chris won’t mind him using the hideaway on his own if he’s careful.
They are permitted access to the training room for the few hours between work and mandatory repose.  The hideaway is en route so it is easy for Felix to stealthily retrace his steps without raising suspicion.  He disappears in the security blind spot the way Chris showed him.  
Felix is in the tunnel when he hears a noise.  He worries he was followed despite being so careful, but then he realizes the noise is ahead of him, not behind him. 
He freezes in the crawl tunnel, trying to discern the sound.  It doesn’t sound like talking, more like… breathing?  Heavy breathing. 
Then he hears a laugh that he recognizes as Chris.  And he is not alone.  The other noise is a sigh, a lighter, more feminine sound.
Oh.
Apparently, Chris’s hideaway is not just for talking to friends.  The sound of kissing and sighing is more friendly than his conversation with Felix, that’s for sure.
Felix is frozen for a minute, too stunned and embarrassed to think of moving.  He has to shuffle backwards to escape because he can’t turn in that part of the crawl space.  If this was a mission, he could do it, but this is personal.  He doesn’t want to get caught but it’s not because it will compromise any job; it’s because it will be awkward.
He scuffs his shoe in his backwards shuffle.  It clangs, a subtle sound, but one that makes him wince.
It goes quiet around the corner.  Felix knows he was heard and there is no time to escape.  Seconds later, a frantic looking Chris is in the tunnel, red-faced with a line of sweat on his brow.  His uniform is clearly dishevelled and Felix gets even more embarrassed.
Those feelings need somewhere to go.  It comes out of him in a burst of frustration.
“What are you doing?” Felix demands, his voice breaking. 
“Nothing!” Chris says, clearly a knee-jerk reaction.  Then he takes a breath and says, “Look, I can explain—”
“It’s not Miroh’s daughter,” Felix says.  He can’t even pose it as a question because he refuses to believe Chris could genuinely be that reckless and stupid.  Befriending her is one thing – a stupid thing – but fooling around with the daughter of the powerful man who owns them is begging for tragedy. 
“I’m not stupid,” Chris says. 
“It doesn’t matter,” Felix says.  “Whoever it is, you need to stop.” 
“Look—”
“Seriously, Chris!”
“Felix—”
“It’s not worth it!”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Chris snaps.  “You’re not normal and you don’t understand what it means to care about someone like that.”
It is obviously thoughtless, blurted in the head of the moment.  It hurts anyway. Felix wonders if Chris can see the pain on his face because Chris looks immediately remorseful. 
“Look, I didn’t mean it like that—” Chris starts.
“It’s fine,” Felix says.  “You’re right.”
“Felix—”
Felix pushes backwards and leaves without waiting for any protest.  He does not stop, marching all the way back to this bunk.  Anger and embarrassment have finally dissipated by the time he returns.  It has been replaced with determination.
Chris is the best, but he has been compromised whether he wants to acknowledge it or not. He feels too much, for everyone and everything, and it will get him in even more trouble than he is already in.  if he retaliates with thoughtless provocation when it’s just Felix confronting him, then what will he do when it’s Miroh and the stakes are even higher?
Chris said he would protect them all. He swore to succeed at any cost, including his own life.  There is no one swearing the same for him.  No one has ever protected him. 
Felix is the second best.  He has never left a job unfinished and for that he is not deserving of the protection Chris is offering.
It won’t clean the blood on his hands, but if Felix can save a life worth more than his own, then maybe it will start to justify all of this, all of him.
Chris was right.  Felix is not normal.  But he was wrong say that Felix doesn’t know what it means to care about someone.  Because of Chris, Felix knows how to care.  He knows what he has to do.
Chris can try and save them all.
Felix is going to save Chris. 
-
P R E S E N T   D A Y
Miroh’s main facility has fallen.
It sounds so dramatic for something so anticlimactic, like you are describing the collapse of a kingdom and not the shutdown of his main office operation. 
It feels like an apocalyptic demise. 
You and Chan fight your way out of the building, taking on the people who fight in your name.  Your father’s name.  Miroh.
Miroh is dead.  Irrefutably broken, little more than a heap of meat on the tarmac.  With him gone and the only named heir on the run – you – this facility will shut down to maintain security. 
Miroh ran a meticulously compartmentalized business. There is protocol for everything so even if one part of his operation fell, the rest could continue unimpeded.  Miroh tried to establish a legacy that could rival old money like his enemy, going so far as to predict his own demise.  Miroh has long braced for the eventuality of his end, so he made sure his business could fracture and run without him.
He did everything in his power to make you just like him, a little broken fracture of himself to ensure that legacy.  But then he could not actually face what he created.  He could not actually let go.  He was the only one with the perspective and power and he had to keep it that way. 
Miroh would not have accounted for your rebellion, not for the sake of someone else.  For a friend.
Flashes of the last twenty four hours play in your mind.  You can hardly pinpoint the change in yourself.  It feels like this was somehow inevitable, despite how much you would have balked at the idea before.  But now it is all that matters.  It’s all that makes sense in this chaos.
You have to find your friend.  This facility will be empty in a matter of hours, but there are others.   Changbin is in one of them.  You have no idea where to start.
One thing at a time, you tell yourself.  Before you can ruminate on anything behind or in front of you, you need to fight.  You do not have time for introspection or planning.  You need to get away.  Away from this place, away from your dead father.
Away from his soldier, the First Guard, Bang Chan, who for some reason is helping you escape.
You don’t know why.  You seriously doubt your barely coherent pleading broke the conditioning and literal torture that made him into this thing. 
You don’t have time to find out.  At the first opportunity, you break away, leaving him with a handful of operatives to fight.  It should keep them all occupied while you escape. 
You do not want to risk trapping yourself in an enclosed space, so you do not venture to the parking garage where the company vehicles are stored.  Some of them will be programmed and bugged.  You feel bad targeting a civilian, but stealing one of their cars is the safest bet.   There are some administrative employees who complete menial tasks for the company, those with next to no clearance level.  They park their personal cars around the facility.  You pick one that is easy to reconfigure without a key to boot. 
Minutes later, you are driving for an exit.  Your whole body is aching but you push through it.  There will be time to recuperate when you are in the clear. 
Sirens wail and alarms blare, every security measure in action.  Your escape is certainly not a clean one but it doesn’t matter.  You just need to get away.
If you can get off the facility grounds, you can lose any adversaries in the back country roads.  The route to the facility was intentionally designed to be a convoluted labyrinth, making it difficult for enemies to approach without giving the facility ample preparation time.  You know the paths better than anyone.  You can get away.
A soldier marches right into the middle of your escape path. 
It is too brazen for a regular agent.  They would not be so stupid to try that, knowing you would just barrel into them. 
You speed closer and recognize the First Guard.  Chan is unflinching as ever, standing in the middle of the road as if he intends to stop your car with his body.   He is strong but not that strong.  You know that.  But he looks like an inhuman phantom, looming there in his combat gear and mask, unphased and unharmed despite the hour of nonstop violence.   
But that’s not the reason you stop.  You think about him in that van.  You could only see his eyes but they were expressive, the tilt of his head inquisitive. 
You slam on the brakes.  The car stops inches from his body but he doesn’t even blink.  
Your heart is racing, breath bursting in gasps.  He strolls around the car as if he was just waiting for his ride. 
Soldiering instinct propels your hands.  You draw a gun as he opens the passenger-side door.  He bends down and looks at you, his brow quirked with a silent question.  Your hand shakes and he is too good not to notice.  You know that, but a regular person would never guess because he does not take his eyes off yours. 
He disarms you, faster than a blink.   He drops into the passenger seat, then slams the door and shoves the gun in its storage compartment.
You stare at him.  Your gaze follows the line of his stark profile.  His hairline is a little sweaty but he doesn’t look out of breath.   
You don’t know what to think. 
This is the longest you have been in his company since you were kids in training.  Your memory of him is insubstantial, having spent little to no time with him personally.   But it hardly matters what he was.   Now he’s a soldier above all soldiers, a shadow filling this small civilian car.  He’s not the biggest man in the world but he’s overwhelming all the same, partially because of his uniform and partially because of his posture.  He feels too big for this little human space.  His knee hits the gear shift, his thighs bulky in the small seat, his shoulders broad where he leans back. 
He looks across the car and meets your eyes.  You think about how many people have met this gaze, maybe in a moment just like this, sitting across from Miroh’s asset in a little civilian vehicle before he put a bullet between their eyes or snapped their neck.  You have seen the results of his missions even if you were not involved in them.  The statistics and numbers speak for themselves.  Those eyes have seen more death than life and right now they are resolutely focussed on you. 
You jump when he lifts his hand.  He says nothing but turns the rearview mirror in your direction.  You reluctantly peel your gaze away from him.  You see what he sees: a vehicle in rapid pursuit of your own.
“Shit,” you say.  You shove the mirror back into place.  Your hands collide for a split second. 
You can’t linger on the weirdness of this moment, that the First Guard is your ally, sitting in the passenger seat and helping you escape.
You drive.  The other vehicle chases you down.  You get past the easy security measures, blowing past gates and guards.  When you approach the last gate, Chan rolls down the window and twists his body.  He pulls the stashed gun and aims somewhere.  Your eyes are on the road so you don’t see exactly what he does, but the gate slams shut between you and the pursuing vehicle, trapping them on the other side.    
Then it is just you, him, and the road. 
He puts the gun away.  He sits back.  He rolls up the window.  He makes it seem like a routine, still unphased while your heart pounds with adrenaline. 
You do not look at him.  You do not speak.  You focus on escape, taking a convoluted path through the countryside just in case.  When the facility is far, far behind you, you take a back road and pull into a shadowed space between some trees. 
You slam to a stop, shift the gear to park, but keep the engine running.  You clutch the steering so hard, you imagine it cracking beneath the force of your grip. 
Chan still does not speak.  The last time he spoke was on that rooftop.  What now? 
A damn good question. 
You look at him.  He is not sitting the way you would expect a machine of a man to be sitting.  You would have thought the First Guard would sit straight-backed and braced for confrontation, but his slouch is almost insouciant. He sits with his knees apart, his body slanted where his elbow rests on the door.   One gloved hand strums the door and the other is draped over his thigh.  He looks at you without any expression you can interpret. 
You are tired.  Your body hurts.  Your father is dead and the operation is changing and your only friend is suffering and you can’t do anything about any of it.  This morning you held a modicum of control over your life – or you thought you did – and now everything has spiralled. 
You know logically that Chan is a victim of Miroh, but right now it does not matter.  He is an infuriating figure of composure, not to mention your father’s greatest weapon, and that combination snaps the elastic thread of your patience, already stretched to its limits.
“Take off the fucking mask,” you say. 
He stares at you, his expression still unreadable.  You are tempted to reach across and rip the mask off his face.  You would definitely not succeed, no match for his reflexes on a good day, but logic is inconsequential in the face of your emotions. 
He doesn’t test you.  He stares for another moment then raises one gloved hand.  He unhooks the mask and peels it off.  He runs the other hand over his face and through his hair.   
You are not sure what you were expecting.  The same brown eyes stare back at you, lined with a smudged shadow to look as dark and intimidating as possible.  His brows are thick and dark, his hair as black, sweat loosening the slick style so a single curly tuft falls over his forehead. 
You follow the slope of his nose down to his mouth.  His mouth is closed and he is not smiling.  He has full lips, almost too pretty for what he is.  Glancing at that mouth on that too-pretty face, you picture a dimple smiled.  The memory is almost a blur, a smear of an image over his face.  You blink and it’s gone, his stoic face staring back at you. 
“What is it?” he says.  His voice is like the rest of him, too big in this small space.   You swear it shakes the car and the earth under it, though that is ridiculous.  It’s just a voice.  He’s just a man. 
Except he’s not.  He’s something else, something that should not have done what he did.  You have a million questions.  You need those answers before you can continue but it all jumbles together in your head.  It’s all too much, the flashes of today, of the past, of an uncertain future full of even more violence.
You finally turn off the engine and get out of the car.  You have no intention of going anywhere, but you need space. 
You pace in a long line, breathing in and out, using every trick in the book to ease your racing heart.  After a minute, you hear the passenger door open.  You look over your shoulder at Chan.
You can’t help the instinctive reaction to measure him like an adversary.  It doesn’t help he has pummelled you twice in the last few months, not to mention his horrid reputation in an already horrid place.  It would be stupid not to brace yourself. 
He approaches you cautiously.  He has the gall to raise a hand like you are the wild thing and he is the tamer. 
“Easy,” he says.  His voice is not so booming out here.  Other than the dark combat uniform, he almost looks normal, his whole face open to you, eyes narrowed with intense focus. 
It makes you breathe harder, the exhale shaky.  He notices because he tries to placate you. 
He smiles. 
It is forced and unpracticed, but there are those dimples, just like you thought.  You would have been less startled if he bared his teeth like an animal.  The smile unnerves you, undoing all the calming work of your exercises. 
“It’s all right,” he says in a frighteningly gentle voice.  He tilts his head as he looks at you.  “It’s just me, yeah?”
Just him.  Like that should comfort you.  You suppose you can marginally see things from his perspective, that maybe he has proved himself.  After all, he helped you escape.  It is obvious he is not doing this for your father or he would not have let you kill him.  This is not part of a grand plan.  There is no strategy.  It’s all over. 
It’s just you and him.
It does not comfort you the way he evidently thinks it should.  Now is the time to ask those million questions, but you are beyond words.  You are a live wire and that pitiful attempt at a truce ignites a flare of angry sparks. 
You were built to fight.  It punches out of you.  Literally.
Chan is faster than you.  He dodges your swing with ease, fast as an electric current himself. 
“Hey now,” he says, holding out both hands.  “Don’t—”
You know you can’t win this fight.  You know it’s stupid to try.  But each swing flies out of you, instinctive as breathing.  He catches every blow, bats your hands out of the way, but he doesn’t swing back.  His refusal to fight infuriates you.  It makes you feel as helpless as you are. 
An aggravated cry spills out of you, a strain behind your eyes as you take another swing. 
“Stop it,” he snaps, his smile gone. 
He finally goes on the offense, catching your hands and pinning them down.  There is a moment of struggle before you feel the driver door at your backside, his body caging you in.   You rear up against him but he holds you down, hip to hip, hand to hand. 
“I said stop it,” he says.  “What are you doing?”
“What am I doing?” you ask, voice breaking.  “What the fuck are you doing?” 
Your chest is pressed against his, moving with your breath while he stands like an ungiving wall.  You glare at him and he stares back.  His brow furrows in seeming confusion.  He closes both eyes and breathes out, a steadying breath. 
You thought seeing him lose composure would make you feel better, but you feel worse, more unnerved than before. 
He looks at you, a muscle in his jaw feathering when he clenches it.  You stare at it as he releases you.
“You must know I can’t trust you,” you say. 
You make the mistake of lifting your hands to shove him away.  You do not intend to punch him again, the worst of that aggression gone, but he doesn’t know that.  You suppose you can’t blame him for his instincts after your demonstration. 
When you lift your hands, he grabs your wrists.  Swiftly and effortlessly, he pins your hands by your head.
“Oh,” he says.  His eyebrows lift and his face is far more expressive than you expected.  “I’m the one who can’t be trusted, right?” 
“Excuse me?” you snap. 
“I’m doing my job, yeah,” he says.  “Yesterday you were running jobs for Daddy and today you shot him dead.  Wanna talk about erratic behaviour?  Wanna talk about who’s unpredictable?  About who can trust who here?” 
Your mouth parts with a useless, breathless rebuttal, stammering and empty.  You didn’t expect that many words from him, not when he has been a silent shadow for so long.  Never mind the easy, casual speech, every colloquialism and the taunting hurl of daddy.  It makes you think of that scathing, troublesome boy he once was, as sharp with his tongue as everything else.  But he is not that boy.  You know for a fact he was broken.  He has done all those jobs for Miroh without causing any strife in the operation.  He is a weapon and nothing more.  He exists to follow orders. 
Until today.  Until you. 
“So?” you finally say, because what else can you say? 
“So?” he repeats. 
“So.”  You have those million questions, but there is only one that really matters.  “What are we?  Soldiers without a general? Because right now it seems like we’re two people who have no reason to trust each other and no reason to work together.” 
Your gazes are locked and you measure each other.  Not that you are much of a threat to him.  He has you pinned with very little effort.  If you were at your fighting best, you like to think it would be a little challenge, but right now you stand no chance against him.  
But he doesn’t want to hurt you or he would have done it already. 
He drops your hands.  He doesn’t step away, still regarding you with that scrutinous eye, but it is a menial demonstration of trust. 
You drop your arms.  You stare back at him, refusing to show the depth of your weakness.  You think his body might be keeping yours upright, your legs so weak.  You do everything in your power to keep your wild emotions in check, to keep the tears in the back of your eyes.  You breathe deeply. 
“I’ll help you find your friend,” Chan says, the last thing you expect him to say.  You can only watch as he sighs and speaks.  “You were my last mission,” he says. “Miroh told me to bring you in.  I did.  He wanted me to watch you.  I am.  He wanted me to be your—”  He laughs but it is not a happy sound, dry and devoid of pleasure.  “Your bodyguard, I guess.”  He shakes his head.  “Consider this me following orders,” he says.  “That’s what I do, yeah?  I follow orders.  And I don’t leave a job unfinished.  Ever.” 
“And Miroh?” you say tentatively.  “The fact I killed him?”
He shrugs dramatically, hands open in surrender. 
“Miroh didn’t make me his bodyguard,” Chan says.  “He made me yours.” 
It is such preposterously simple logic that you laugh, a disbelieving bark of a sound.  You look around at nothing, like the answer to your ridiculous circumstance is in the trees or the road.  
When you look at Chan, he is still looking at you, his brow quirked inquisitively. 
“Well?” he says.  “Is that enough?  Can we work together to finish this last job?” 
“Your job,” you say slowly.  You meet his eyes.  “So that’s what I am to you?”
It’s meant to be an easy question with a reassuring answer.  He is a soldier.  You are his job.  He will do what you ask.  It’s as simple as that. 
He tilts his head as he looks at you.  His contemplation is too heavy.  It was a simple question for a simple soldier who should speak no language outside of missions and reports. 
His gaze is searing and it makes your heart skip a startled beat. 
“Yes,” he says.  He speaks the word like it’s exhausting to say out loud.  It lands with a thud on an exhale.  “My job.”
His forearm is planted by your head.  His other hand grips your bicep.  He is keeping you in place with his hips and thighs.  You can feel the tension in his body. 
You have no idea why you do what you do.  It comes from the same place as those desperate punches.  You know it’s useless, you know nothing will come of it, but you ride the propulsion of adrenaline.  Your body, on the brink of desperation, has been pushed to its utmost capabilities in the last couple hours.  What does it want?  What do you want?
What did you ever really want?
You kiss him. 
It shocks you both.  Unlike the punch, he does not know how to retaliate.  He stands there, breathing into your mouth.  He is neither encouraging nor withdrawing. 
You stop quickly and wipe your mouth.  Mortification sets in. 
None of this is like you.  You blame stress.  Your body is confused and hurt.  You need recuperation.  Whether you like it or not, you need comfort too.  It is a deep internal call, only human.  But you won’t be getting that from the solid, inhuman wall around you. 
You push at that wall and it finally gives.  Chan steps back.  You doubt a punch would have moved him so easily as that kiss. 
“Ignore that,” you say.  “Adrenaline.  I’m still – not right.”
He just stares, once more a silent shadow.  You breathe out in a huff. 
“Okay,” you say.  “And we’re back to the staring.  At least I know you’re still working.”
You turn to open the car door, effectively ending the tense exchange.  Chan walks away.  He silently circles the car to reach the passenger door.  You look at his face, once more stoic and expressionless.  He doesn’t look at you, dropping into the vehicle without another glance or sound. 
You close your eyes.  You take another deep breath of fresh air.
Maybe this is good.  Maybe Chan is the ally you need right now.  Someone level, someone only concerned with mission parameters.  Someone who will not become compromised because of emotion. 
Because you are very compromised. 
You are not thinking clearly.  You need a plan and some water and rest. 
You get in the car.  You start the engine.  You don’t speak another word.
-
You drive for hours, wanting distance between you and the destruction.
The silence in the car is piercing, your head aching after the first hour.  The little space acts like an echo chamber for your tumultuous thoughts.  You keep replaying the day, every death and cry.  You think about your security team strewn across those stairs, just another casualty in Miroh’s game.  You think about your father, the unplanned murder but the utter lack of regret in your heart.
You think about Changbin.  Your reckless side wants to look for him right now.  You cannot stand to waste another second.  Based on your father’s words, he could be anywhere, subject to any number of horrors.  But despite the whirlwind tempest of your mind, there is a soldier inside you and she is more pragmatic.  You are in no condition to fight.  Even if you knew Changbin’s exact location, you would be no use to him.  You need to rest, formulate a legitimate plan, then attack. 
You can’t afford to make any mistakes.  Better than anyone, you know the forces you are up against. 
You pull into a highway fill-up station at dusk.  The car needs fuel and so do you.  There is a little shop near the fuel pumps, the place deserted other than the bored cashier behind the counter. 
There was some cash in the glove box, enough for necessities.  You will inevitably need to steal or manipulate, but you prefer to lay low tonight.  You were careful to avoid traffic cameras and security tv as you exited the previous city.   By the time the car is reported and Miroh’s operation works out your connection, you will be off the grid. 
You turn off the engine and reach for the wallet.  Chan snatches it first. 
“What are you doing?” is spoken in unison. 
“I’m going to buy us some fucking water and food,” you say. 
“Are you?  Really?”  He gives you a pointed up-and-down look.  “You gonna do that looking like you just played cannonball with a cement wall?” 
You have not gotten a good look at yourself, just a flash in the rearview mirror, but he is probably right.  You feel like utter shit so you must look it too. 
“Well, you can’t go in there either,” you say.  Even without the mask, he is clearly in an unusual uniform.  A bored clerk will remember a terrifying soldier in combat clothes marching through his shop. 
Chan flashes you a dimpled smile, frighteningly charming.   
“Sure I can,” he says.  “Just have to blend in.” 
Your eyes widen as he discards both gloves then opens the neck of his shirt.  You stare as he efficiently strips off his top layers. 
If he looked powerful in the uniform, he looks as just as intimidating without it.  He doesn’t boast gargantuan proportions but he doesn’t need it.  There is lethal strength to the rolling musculature of his sturdy body. 
You shouldn’t care.  Soldiers strip all the time, long assignments and shared compartments making it an inevitability.   But Chan is not just another soldier.  In your head, he is that living shadow, covered all the way up to his eyes in the Miroh black and blue.  Seeing all that skin is a startling reminder of the man under the mask. 
You find Chan watching you, amused.  That stupid eyebrow is quirked again. 
“What?” you snap. 
“Nothing,” he replies.  “Be right back.  Don’t miss me too bad.”
You roll your eyes, slumping in your seat as he gets out of the car.  You have half a mind to drive away but you are pretty sure he would find a way to manifest at your destination anyway. 
You watch as he enters the shop in a nonchalant stroll, wearing just his pants and boots.  He waves at the cashier and says something that makes him laugh. 
To his credit, Chan looks like a regular guy on a hot day, casually perusing a gas station shop.  He makes small talk with the cashier and they laugh some more. 
You knew Chan was a good soldier but you didn’t expect him to be such a good agent too.  He is probably better at the civilian act than you.  You are standoffish and opt for a quiet demeanour, blending in through invisibility rather than a persona. 
Chan walks in and out, the cashier unaware of the nature of his customer.  You return to the road with a full of tank of gas and some sustenance. 
“Are you going to put your shirt back on?” you ask. 
He gives you a side-eye as he shrugs the outermost layer back on.  He doesn’t do it up.  You refuse to act like a glimpse of his bare chest means anything to you. 
Except it does.  When he sits there with his knee against the console and his skin showing and a tuft of hair over his forehead, he looks like a person.  He is a person, one who has been subject to some of the worst horrors of Miroh’s operation. 
There is no denying Chan is a complicated figure, unwillingly complicit in atrocities.  He acts like a normal person with a fully cognizant mind, but you just witnessed for yourself how easily he can fake that.  You do not know how much of the real Bang Chan is actually inside him. 
“Chan,” you say after a long time.  The sun has almost fully set, the sky in its navy gloaming. 
“Yeah?” he says. 
There are no words that suffice.  You could give an entire speech and it would be virtually meaningless.
“I’m sorry,” you say, leaving the breadth of the apology up to his interpretation.  You keep your eyes on the endless miles of highway that stretch ahead.  There is a long journey in front of you.  There is a longer road behind you. 
The car is illuminated with golden light from passing cars and overhead lamps.  It flashes over his face in the deepening darkness. 
“Don’t be,” Chan says.  He crosses his arms in a protective position, looking out his window though there is nothing to see but the highway and passing cars.  “None of this was your fault,” he says.  
You laugh, a similar humourless sound to his earlier laughter. 
“That’s not entirely true,” you say, thinking of all the missions you deliberately ran for Miroh.  You thought you could make it mean something.  You were just like your father, believing the ends would justify the means.   You never tortured Chan yourself, but you were part of the operation that kept him in chains.  There was nothing you could do to save him, but you certainly never tried. 
He looks at you.  You hear him move, the crinkle of his clothes, the water bottle he twists in his grip. 
“I don’t blame you, you know,” he says.  “Seriously.  Today was crazy.  Everything’s crazy.  You’re not responsible for it.” 
“I’m not not responsible,” you say.  “My team is dead.  My friend is gone.  My dad – well, you can’t say I didn’t do that.”
“He had that one coming,” Chan says, his laugh a little more real.  “No offense, but your dad kinda sucked.”
You find yourself laughing more genuinely too. 
“Yeah,” you say.  “I think we can agree on that.” 
You fall into silence but it is more comfortable than before.  There has been an undeniable tension since the moment he climbed in this car, looking at you with questioning confusion as you pointed a gun at him.  You were panicking but he must have been equally bewildered.  To him, you were a mission.  He lives by his orders. 
“I should apologize to you,” he says.
You look at him with obvious surprise.  He meets your gaze, his expression sincere if not a little chagrined.  His dimples show with a faint smile but it is not very happy. 
“I’ve been an ass,” he says.  “Today was – well.”  He runs a hand through his hair. 
“Trust me,” you say.  You try to lighten the mood with your tone.  “I’m a Miroh.  You will never have to apologize to me for as long as you live.”
He doesn’t laugh or even force that pretend sound.  He stares ahead, his gaze sorrowful and faraway. 
“Sorry, that was—” you begin. 
He forces a smile and shakes his head.
“Nah,” he says.  “Truce?”
Smiling feels awkward and your injuries probably make you a terrifying sight.  But he accepts it, nodding at you.  The car does not feel like such a claustrophobic space after that.  The air is clear as it can be, considering who you are.
Neither of you has an identity right now.  You were tethered to the same monstrosity and now it is gone.  Everything is different.
You are too tired for another late-night heart-to-heart.  It is time for rest. 
-
There is enough cash for a cheap motel room.  You find a quiet inn off the highway, sequestered beyond trees and countryside fields.  You finally look at yourself properly in the bathroom mirror.  You decide Chan’s earlier remarks were a severe understatement.  You look like a battleground more than a soldier. 
You injures will repair themselves with time, but it is a grisly sight.  You shower for now.  The soap and water helps. 
You don the same shirt and underwear.  New clothes will be a necessity.  You mentally plan tomorrow, everything you will need to accrue before you formulate an attack.  You have already mentally plotted the closest facilities, but you will need to verify their function and security protocol before striking. 
You are mentally strategize as you exit the bathroom.  You are distracted, thinking nothing of the fact you are wearing underwear and a shirt. 
Chan already showered because you insisted, knowing you would take longer with your injuries.  He is sitting on one of the single beds, sorting through his weapons. There is the gun you stole from Miroh plus his own array of armaments, things so well hidden you did not realize he even had them.  They are laid out on the bed.  He sits at the foot in his combat pants and nothing else, his dark hair damp and face bare. 
You stroll past him, feeling his eyes as they lift from a gun to your bare legs.  Now that you have scrubbed the worst of the brutality from your body, you feel like something of a person again.  His flicker of attention ignites an undeniable spark in your belly.  At first, it startles you, because the First Guard is the absolute last person you should ever think of like that.
But then you look at him.  He has turned his eyes back to his work, saying nothing as he reloads the gun with second-nature efficiency.  He is holding a weapon but, despite his conditioning, he is just a man. 
You are a grounded person.  You keep your head down and go about your tasks with confident certainty.  He is here, you are here, it has been a long day, and it is not unusual for soldiers to seek comfort before the dawn of a new fight.  Comfort is as important in healing and recuperation as anything else. 
You sit on your own bed and look at him. He is effortlessly attractive with his dark hair and dark eyes, the sloping muscle of his firm body.  You trace his chest and abdomen with your eyes.  He does not lift his gaze, his attention on the gun.
“Do you want to fuck?” you ask.
Bang Chan is the best soldier in the force.  You are pretty sure he has never fumbled a weapon quite so spectacularly.  It clatters to the floor and he kicks it under your bed.
“What!” he says.  He doesn’t look at you as he retrieves the gun, laughing a comically nervous giggle.  “Um… what?” he asks again.  Before you can answer, he shakes his head. “That’s uh, wait.  Um.  No.  Bad idea, right?  I mean—”
“It’s just a suggestion,” you say, not really offended. “It’s been a long day.  It doesn’t mean anything.  We’re both adults here.”
As you say it, you consider his circumstances.  Chan has spent his entire life in the house of Miroh.  He is not innocent but he might be inexperienced.  This man has killed dozens of people and worked dozens of dangerous operations.  His body is built for violence, not pleasure, and certainly not his own. 
You find yourself blurting, “Have you ever…?”
“Yes,” he says firmly, brow furrowing with annoyance. 
“All right, all right, just asking,” you say.  You decide not to push the topic because it clearly makes him uncomfortable.  You just cleared the air and you don’t want to muddy it again. 
You change the topic swiftly.  You make some empty remark about the weather as you turn on the small television.  It’s an old contraption, buzzing with static as it flickers to life.    
Chan resumes his work.  He puts his head down to concentrate. 
Your gaze inevitably strays to him. 
His hair dries curly.  It feels like an unusual thing to know about the First Guard.  He looks so much younger with a clean face. 
You jump when that face lifts.  He looks at you. 
“It wasn’t… you know…” There is a hunch to his shoulders, his eyes dropping to his work.  “I just did it on missions, ya know?” 
“Did it,” you say.  “On missions.”  It doesn’t register right away, partly because you are tired and partly because you did not expect him to continue this conversation.  “You mean sex?” you ask.  “You had sex on missions?” 
“I had sex for missions,” he corrects, eyes on the weapon he is disassembling.  He is acting like the conversation is meaningless, his attention divided, but you know his task does not require that degree of concentration.  He could take that thing apart in perfect darkness. 
“For missions,” you repeat.  “What, like a honeypot type scheme?  You?” 
It seems ridiculous at first.  You picture the First Guard smashing through windows and tackling you in stairwells.  There is nothing seductive about that raw violence.   But then you look at the man in front of you, young and handsome, the one who so easily charmed that cashier while pretending he was someone else.  You picture him in a suit and tie, maybe a t-shirt and jeans.  He would be devastating with the right preparation. 
Chan is the best.  Maybe it shouldn’t surprise you he would excel regardless of the scheme. 
“Something like that,” he says.  He finally loads the magazine.  “It wasn’t so bad, though.  Seriously.”  He twirls the gun with an effortless flourish.  The grip finds his palm like the pistol is a part of him.  “Trust me.  My body was used for worse things.  You get that too, yeah?” 
You suppose you relate well enough.  You were raised in the same program, put through the same grueling regimen.  You have done things and you are not proud of them all.   Your circumstances are not the same, though.   You are each uniquely situated in your positions, even if you started in the same place. 
We’re all that’s left.
Changbin’s voice in your head causes your mind to drift. 
“What about you?” Chan asks, drawing you back to the conversation. 
“Me?” you ask. 
“Yeah,” he says.  “You.”   
The First Guard is asking you about your sex life.  You woke this morning in a safe house and put on combat gear, ready for another mundane day of field work.  Somewhere in the middle of that was a cascade of violence.  Now Bang Chan is asking about your sexual proclivities.  If you weren’t so exhausted, you would laugh. 
“I mean, nothing special,” you say, sufficing for the boring truth.  “Mostly just this.  Sex doesn’t really mean anything to me.  It’s like exercise.  Long nights on a job.  You know.  Fellow soldiers on a mission.  Sometimes a civilian hook-up.” 
You can’t parse the expression on his face.  His gaze is somewhat judgemental, or maybe it is just scrutinizing, intensely focussed.  It bristles your nerves.  Your tone is more derisive when you say, “I’m not a romantic.”  You hold his intense stare in your own.  “Sex is just a bodily function to me.  Sometimes the body needs the release or the pleasure or whatever, so I satisfy it and move on.  That’s who I am.  I work.  I get the job done.  That’s what I have always done.”
What you always did.  You are not sure how to describe yourself anymore.  You nonetheless punctuate that definitive statement.  You assume that is the end of the conversation. 
Then Chan asks, “So there’s… no one… for you?” 
If he was any other soldier, you would think he was angling for flirtation, but he just turned down your very blatant offer. You do not know why he has any motivation to ask such personal and irrelevant questions. 
It is not worth the argument.  You conclude with a simple, “No.” 
He nods, rocking his whole body with the force of his too-casual gesture.  The tips of his ears are red, though your gaze does not stay there.  You are quickly distracted by his bicep.  He lifts an arm to rub the back of his neck, muscles softly rippling.  His brazen questioning coupled with his awkward shyness is incongruous. 
You think it is unlikely you will ever understand this man.  He has been taken apart and put back together too many times.  Fragments of him seem to fire all at once and in great contradiction. 
“What about Changbin?” he asks.  “He must be pretty special to you.  Ya know, for you to have done all this for him.” 
You are simultaneously struck by repulsion and sentiment.   Changbin is very special and you regret not realizing it sooner.  He has always been at your side, taking hits to protect you well before he became your bodyguard.  He is the person who kept you smiling.  You understood each other on a different level.  His friendship was a rare gift and you took it for granted.  Now you would do anything to have it back. 
But also…
It’s Changbin.  Ew.  You are an only child but you feel a brotherly affection for him.  Picturing him in any other context is nauseating.  It just feels wrong. 
You have such a visceral reaction of disgust that Chan laughs.  He puts up his hands as if in surrender. 
“Sorry, sorry, my bad,” he says.  “Just friends, then?” 
“Yes,” you say.  “Though there’s nothing just about it.” 
You have replayed that rooftop exchange a hundred times, torturing yourself with every possible outcome.   If only you did this, if only he did that.  You rearrange every second, trying to find a version with a different ending.    
You wonder how he will react when he finds out what you did.  Aha, murder princess living up to her name! he might say.  The old man should have seen it coming.  I knew you could it, but of course I did. I’m so much smarter and better looking than everyone else here. 
You smile at the idea but it fades quickly. 
Changbin was with you last night.  He was sitting within arm’s reach, his scar under your fingertips.  Now he could be anywhere and it’s all your fault.  Not just because of the rooftop mistakes, but because of every mistake you made before that.
You exhale.  Your shoulders shake.  Chan watches you close a fist around a pillow.   
“You all right?” he asks. 
“I’m ending it,” you say. 
“Sorry, what?”
“I always thought Miroh was an inevitability.”  You are speaking out loud but mostly to yourself.  Your gaze is fixed on some distant point, your mind and heart miles away.  “But he wasn’t,” you say.  “No more soldiers.  No more experiments.  No more bribes and theft and terror.  My father is dead and I am going to do what I should have done a long time ago.  I am going to make sure his work dies with him.”
You look at Chan.  A day ago, you both existed for Miroh.  Now you are two people planning to dismantle an empire from a motel room and a stolen car.     
“Do you have a problem with that?” you ask. 
A part of you is braced for the worst, that he will reject it, that he will revert to some kind of conditioned programming and drag you back to a facility for condemnation. 
Even while you think it, you know it won’t happen.  The eyes staring back at you are as clear as your own. 
“I’m just the bodyguard,” Chan says.  “I go wherever you go.  Always.”
You feel invigorated to start now, but you are tired beneath the burst of adrenaline.   You need to let your body heal.   
The room is dark and you doze in the light of the television. After a couple hours, you roll over and find Chan is still awake.  He is laying on his bed, arms crossed and eyes open.  He is watching the shopping channel, ad after ad after ad, with far more intensity than it merits.   His mind must be somewhere else.  You can only imagine what he is thinking about. 
You wonder how much he knows about himself.  He responded to your half-coherent treasonous pleading.  Does he remember hating Miroh?  Or is he truly only helping you because of mission parameters? 
It is easy to forget when he is a bare-faced, curly-haired young man slouching in a motel bed, but Bang Chan is lethally competent.  He knew all of Miroh’s innermost schemes.  It will come in handy now, but it makes him an irrevocably dark character, whether it was willing or not. 
You wonder how much Changbin would trust him. 
Wait.
You were so distracted with your plans, you did not question a moment in your conversation. 
Chan mentioned Changbin. 
You never told Chan the identity of your friend.  When you were pleading with him, you just called him a friend. 
Maybe Chan heard you talking to your father.  Maybe he knows about your relationships because that was his job.  Maybe he just guessed because Changbin volunteered himself in the ring. 
Maybe Bang Chan remembers more than he is letting on. 
-
You fall asleep to the soft drone of the television.  Your mind is walking in circles and you dream of similar rings.  Nightmares of chrome cages and steel traps, a suffocating helplessness squeezing your ribcage. 
In your dreams, the room fills with smoke, a charcoal smog that chokes you as quickly as the compression on your chest.  You look down but you can’t see your body, only feel it.  Your invisible body struggles against invisible bindings.  You gasp for breath.
Your father appears.  It is him holding you down, a heavy hand in the middle of your chest.  You cry out.  You want to move but your body is trapped.
You close your eyes.  When you open them, Changbin is there.  He is still a teenager.  His head is bleeding – why is his head bleeding? – but he wipes the blood as if it’s nothing more than sweat, all his focus on you. 
Of course it is.  He’s your friend.  He’s here to save you.  How did you not see it before?  It’s like you have been moving through the world in a fog, the same grey smoke that envelopes you now.  His face is the only clear image, gawky with youth but alive and real.
The weight is lifted off your chest.  Black spots swarm your vision as you suck in a lungful of air. 
When you look again, Changbin is grown.  He looks like he did a day ago, dark bangs in his eyes, stocky build ready for a fight. 
“I’m not leaving here without you.”
Not leaving here.
Not leaving here.
Not leaving here. 
His voices dances around you.  You are trapped in your body, a screaming, shrieking force, watching through dead eyes as the world spins.  People pass but they don’t hear you.  You try to reach for someone but your body doesn’t respond to your thoughts. 
A labyrinthine stretch of road unfurls then disappears.  You are standing in the infirmary at the main facility.  You stare at yourself, the younger version of you.  You are already dead behind the eyes, resigned to your situation.  There are masked doctors around you.  A tray full of needles.  You watch as the long point penetrates your skin.  You’re just a child, arm so small in comparison. 
Your child face contorts with pain, an expression your adult face cannot mimic because you cannot control your face. 
You remember the pain, even if you cannot cry.  It was like nothing you had ever felt.  The pain meant it was working. The medicant was only administered to you when it had been thoroughly tested.  The first injection killed every subject except one.  The second program was a success. 
The children were writhing in pain for weeks, screaming and crying, begging for parents that never came.  Yours did, looming over your bedside, touching your feverish forehead and speaking through the fog of pain. 
An investment, Miroh called it.  You’ll thank me one day. 
Changbin is there.  He is a child too.  They put a needle in his skinny arm.  He winces but he doesn’t cry.   He isn’t scared of the needles or the pain, but he isn’t eager either.  He is just there, his head down. 
You blink and he is grown.  The needle is still in his arm, only it is not an injection but an extraction.  You watch the fullness of his face wither.  They are taking too much.  He becomes a child again, screaming in pain.  
The same pain moves inside you. 
No, worse. 
Worse. 
You never could have imagined a worse pain.  It courses through your whole body, peeling apart your insides while you lay there, helpless, watching.   
Your father stands over you.  You’ll thank me one day.  
He disappears.  For a flickering moment, you see Bang Chan.  Curly-haired, dimpled cheeks.  He stutters and shakes like a bad film projection.  His face contorts, changes.  Wide dark eyes stare at you, his face covered in rain – water – tears?  Pouring down his cheeks, mouth open and a mute cry in the grey. 
You want to touch him but you cannot move.  His face flickers again.  You feel a tiny, infinitesimal twitch in your pinky. 
Then he disappears altogether.  Your father is there.  He grabs you by the shoulders and slams you down, straight through the earth, holding you there in the darkness where no one can find you and you cannot move. 
“Hey—” comes a voice, somehow reaching you in the depths of that pit.  “Hey, hey, hey, wake up.” 
In your dream, your father shoves you. 
In reality, you are thrashing in a motel bed. 
It takes a minute to realize you are awake, that everything was just a terrible dream.  Your adrenaline is a white hot heat in your chest, your voice a strangled shriek as you clamour around the twisting sheets. 
“Hey, it’s all right,” Chan says.  “You’re just dreaming, whoa, easy, c’mon…  It’s all good.  Easy now.  Breathe for me, okay?” 
It feels like your first breath in years.  It goes down shaky, your vision blurry.  You realize Chan is holding your wrist, lightly but carefully.  You blink up at him.  He turned on the bedside light at some point.  Half his face is lit in gold as he looks at you with concern.  It is such a strange expression to see on him.  These were the same eyes glaring at you over that uniform mask.  Now that brow is pinched with worry, his own breath a staggered thing. 
“You all right?” he asks. 
You are sitting upright.  You look at your wrist in his hand. 
“Did I try to punch you again?” you ask. 
“You missed,” he says, smiling.  Then he shakes his head and says more seriously, “It was my fault.  You were yelling in your sleep so I woke you up.  I guess it was too fast or something.  Just, you know, I don’t think the walls are very thick here.”
“Right,” you say.  Your heart is still stampeding.  “Sorry.”
“It’s all right,” he says.  “You… you good…?” 
“Yeah,” you say.  You are too weary for patience, so sarcasm spills out of you.  “Peachy.” 
He opens his mouth but you don’t wait to hear it.  You slide out of bed and land on shaky legs.  Your whole body is covered in a sheen of sweat.  You want to shower, wash away the nightmare and the terror. 
You are a light sleeper.  You never dream like that. It is a testament to your exhaustion that you fell into such a deep sleep. 
You tell yourself it was a dream, but your reassurances don’t work.  Because it wasn’t really a dream, was it? It was flashes of real moments, real faces, real pain. 
You stand under steady stream of hot water.  You watch as the heat and the torrent opens a few scrapes, the water at your feet turning red.  You think of Changbin with a needle in his arm, all that red pouring out of him.  Standing there, helpless to do anything, like you are right now. 
You have no idea where he is.  You look at the scar on your palm and think of him in the moonlight, him in the ring, him at your side.  A smile, a joke, a reassurance.  A hand in yours, a promise. 
He knew you better than you know yourself.  He predicted this exact crisis of identity. 
When it’s just you and you’re trying to decide who you want to be, not who your father wants you to be…  When you’re trying to remember everything and you can’t decide what was real and what was just training and what was Miroh…
He drew that line across his palm.  You picture a chasm of a wound, gaping and red, rushing red at your feet. 
Just remember me, he said.  I didn’t bleed because I believe in Miroh.  I’m your soldier, not his.
True to his word, a man of principle to the end, he is bleeding for you right now. 
In all your years of training, fighting, and soldiership, of missions and schemes, tricks and plots, you have always kept composure.  Now it all weighs on you at once, every single second of your life, and it’s too much.  
When was the last time you cried?  You can’t even remember.  It pours out of you now, big ugly gasping sobs that spill into the shower.  You sit down where the water is pooling in pink.  You wrap your arms around your legs and draw them up to your chest like a child. 
You do not know how long you sit there, crying until it feels like there is no more water left in your body.  It must be a long time because the water runs from hot to lukewarm.  It feels strange to heave dry sobs with the shower still pouring down on you.  
The water abruptly stops.  You lift your head.
Chan stands there.  He doesn’t look at you directly, his expression solemn, but he turns off the water and gets you a towel.  
It feels surreal.  Bang Chan is moving around a small motel bathroom, helping you like he has helped you all day.  You stare at him with scrunched, sore eyes, your throat too strained to speak.  You drop your legs and let him wrap the towel around you.  Your heart kicks with momentary fright when he scoops you up, an effortless sweep. 
No one has ever done something like this for you.  You wouldn’t have let them, even if they tried. 
You need it.  You never realized how much you needed it.  You are certain you will feel embarrassed in the morning, but right now you put your arms around his neck and cling for dear life. 
He says nothing.  He hooks an arm around your back and the other under your legs.  He carries you back into the room and lays you in your bed, adjusting the towel for your modesty before pulling the blankets over you. 
You continue to sputter and hiccup, looking at him as he moves.  You wonder if he looks like this on a mission, determined and swift. 
No.  The First Guard wouldn’t fix the pillows under your head.  He wouldn’t tuck the blankets around you. 
Bang Chan stands over you, wearing nothing but his combat pants, no weapons or masks or piercing stares.  He has curly dark hair and a soft face.  When you touch his bare shoulder, he looks at you with a heart-shattering amount of tenderness.  You didn’t know anyone could look at somebody that way, never mind him, never mind at you. 
There’s a person inside him.  There’s a person inside you.  You don’t know who either of those people are, but you want to know.  You need to know. 
You curl your hand into a fist and feel the scar on your palm.  A day ago, none of this would have mattered, but you know why it matters now. 
“We have to find him,” you say.  Your rasping voice is barely above a whisper. 
Chan slowly cups his hand over yours, his palm to your knuckles, holding your touch against his shoulder.  He squeezes your fingers.  He nods.
“We will,” he says. 
“You’ll help me?” you say. 
“Yeah.” His own voice is a rasp, skirting the edge of emotion too.  He swallows it down and smiles at you.  “Like I said.  I go wherever you go.  Always.” 
He sits with you in the soft golden light of that small bedside lamp.  You do not think you can sleep again, but then exhaustion settles over you. 
You are on the cusp of sleep when he touches your forehead.  Your eyes meet briefly.  It wakes you with a heart flutter, similar to a dream that drops you into reality.  It is the heart-racing thump of a sudden fall.  The kind that feels so real, more like a memory than a dream. 
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jungwnies · 9 months
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syn ' a-z alphabet (nsfw) jeon jungkook pairing ' bf!jungkook x gn!reader
i am so unbelievably down bad for jk right now, so this is in honor of seven and my current weakness in the knees for him?!?!?!
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a ⋆ aftercare - (how he is after sex)
BOY.... YOU KNOWWW he is taking care of you well
cleaning you up
cuddling you
just know that aftercare he gives is TOP tier
NIGHT AFTER NIGHT HE WILLLLL be treating you right ;)
b ⋆ body part - (his favorite body part)
you lips
your thighs
your ass
literally every part of your body he loves
c ⋆ cum - (anything to do with cum)
he comes on your stomach
or in you
if you don't want to fuck raw then he opts for the stomach
but he prefers coming in you
he likes seeing his seed spill out of you
d ⋆ dirty secret - (his dirty secret)
he loves when you beg
it's the virgo in him
he loves seeing you under his control
like seeing you so down bad for him
and just so submissive
he loves it
e ⋆ experience - (how experienced is he?)
girl
he knows what he's doing that's for sure
he doesn't have a lot of bodies
but he's been in committed relationships before
and the sex never fails to please
f ⋆ fav position - (sex position)
missionary for sure
loves being able to see your face
but sometimes he just wants to do doggy and shove your face into the pillow
g ⋆ goofy - (how he acts in the moment)
he's not goofy okay
but he isn't serious
he's very very
romantic
he's about making sure you're pleased
h ⋆ hair - (how groomed is he?)
he is very well groomed
but he isn't ... bald down there
there's hair there
but not a lot
it's trimmed
not completely gone though
i ⋆ intimacy - (how passionate is he?)
very passionate
like i said
he's a romantic
j ⋆ jack off - (how often he masturbates)
like once or twice a week if you're not there
but if you're there
then never
unless it's mutual
k ⋆ kink - (one or more)
lowkey sadistic???
he kind of enjoys hearing your sobs
or when you cry for him
but if you're genuinely hurt or sad
then he will be there for you
but if you're just in tears cus the sex is
THAT good
then he's super into it
l ⋆ location - (fav place to do it)
the bedroom
sometimes in the car
but mainly in the bedroom
or just anywhere in the house
m ⋆ motivation - (what keeps him going)
your moans
your cries
your sounds
the way you moan his name
it's like fucking music to his ears
n ⋆ no - (something he would NOT do)
would neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
do anything like somnophilia
he's just not into that
if he's going to fuck you
you're going to be awake
o ⋆ oral - (giving + receiving — is he good?)
he goes crazy
especially when he's giving
HE GOES CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and when he's receiving
his basically fucks your throat
god
god
god
god
oh my god
p ⋆ pace - (fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
rough yet sensual
he goes hard
but not fast
q ⋆ quickie - (his opinion on it + how often they happen)
all the time
on set
before award shows
when people say he has the "we just fucked look"
it's real
because you guys literally just fucked
r ⋆ risks - (is he willing to experiment, does he take risks, etc.)
yes
he is willing to experiment for you
he will risk it all for you
but he sets boundaries
and he respects yours
anything you both are down to do will be done
s ⋆ stamina - (how long can he last?)
he lasts pretty long
but it's not round and round
it's like
longgggg foreplay
and longggg sex
he takes his time
he wants you to feel good
stimulated in every part >.>
t ⋆ toys - (does he use/own any?)
no not really
he's kind of into teasing you in public
it makes it easy to get you to finish shopping
u ⋆ unfair - (how much does he tease?)
A MOTHER FUCKIN LOT
that's all i have to say
he teases a lot ok?
v ⋆ volume - (how loud is he + what noises does he make?)
he moans loudly
he's very vocal about how he feels
not growls but groans fs
just always says your name
and is like
fuck
yes
baby
i love it
fuck
yeah... ANYWAYS NEXT???
w ⋆ wild card - (random headcanon for him)
he thinks about marriage and kids the second he looks at you
he's never been one to think that far into the future
but the second he realized he loved you aka the second he looked at you
he just fell immediately
it's like his whole future flashed before his eyes lol
x ⋆ x-ray - (what’s under his clothes?)
he's not long
he's not thick
he's average
like ngl it's not that big
but it gets bigger when he's hard
so it makes up for those lost inches
we all know he's built
the abs the muscles
he's works out
very nice bod
we all know this yes?
y ⋆ yearning (how high is his sex drive?)
everyday he is down to do it
but he doesn't actually do it everyday
as long as you're open to it
then he is also open to it
it's above avg. but not high
z ⋆ zzz - (how quickly does he sleep after?)
not quickly
he has a hard time sleeping tbh
he falls asleep quick but he doesn't always feel the need to sleep
he sleeps once he knows you're comfortable
and he will be able to sleep once you wrap your arms around him
and tell him you love him
duh
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soullumii · 5 months
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it's a risk but babe, i need the thrill | joel miller x f!reader
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part 1, part 2
summary: everything finally comes to a head
warnings: 18+!!! smut! unprotected piv, gentle smut
tags: angst, reconciliation, fluff, pining, smut (but it's light compared to the other two parts), halloween vibes (i was supposed to finish this in october, oops)
word count: 5.8k
a/n: guys. i am SO SORRY for the wait. this was so hard for me to finish i almost gave up so many times. i'm still unhappy with this but i can't make myself work on it anymore so here u go. thank you all so much for your patience, i really appreciate it. special thank you to @joelsfaveouritegirl for your support... i probably would've never finished this if it weren't for you, so thank you. <3. and thanks to all of you who kept me accountable. i hope you enjoy this fucking mess. also, this is probably the last joel fic i'll write for a while. i'm sorry. still, i hope you like this.
______________________________________________________________
There are only two seasons in Jackson, Wyoming: winter and not winter.
Where other states might have a gradual shift from warm to cold, in Wyoming, it’s like a slap to the face, quite literally. The moment you step into the evening October air, it feels as if you’ve walked into a wall of cold. 
You shiver in your thick coat, and pull your scarf over your frosty nose as you meander down to the plaza.
While Jackson residents enjoy their time indoors and close to the fireplace during the colder months, they still love to celebrate outdoors, relying on their booze to keep them warm.
You don’t stop by Joel’s for a drink this time, he’s likely already in town square, dragged there by his daughter. Or… sort of daughter. He’s told you how he feels about Ellie, but the girl has her own opinions. Sure, she might deny that he’s like her dad, but she sure as hell treats him like he is. 
You’re meeting them there. 
The stars are already twinkling in the sky when you reach the throng of people. All of Jackson’s residents are in the plaza tonight for Halloween, dressed in homemade costumes and ones raided from the Party City in Idaho Falls. Jack-o-lanterns glow menacingly in corners and scarecrows are propped against brick walls. A few people in particularly frightening costumes prowl about, startling kids and adults alike.
Stalls line the edges of the plaza, each one providing something different. Tipsy Bison’s stall is run by Tommy, serving alcohol for the adults of the town. Seth’s stall is serving pork and brisket sandwiches. There’s a few stalls down the road advertising pumpkins and pastries, and you get a whiff of apple cider. Barrels of fire are scattered about to provide warmth. Lights are strung from the roofs of buildings, spread across the road, like clothes on a clothesline. 
It’s incredibly cozy, and already, you feel much warmer than you did walking out of your house. 
Within moments of passing Seth’s stall you hear Ellie’s voice ring out. 
“She's here!”
You can’t see her weaving through the crowd but you can see Joel trailing behind, his arm trapped in front of him. He politely excuses himself and apologizes to those he bumps into as his daughter drags him through a crowd of people. 
You can’t help but laugh, especially when you hear him say, “Jesus, kid, slow down.” 
And then she’s in front of you, smiling and bouncing excitedly on her heels, dressed as one of the superheroes from the comics she reads. Joel is behind her wearing a black blindfold with the eyes cut out, and a felt superhero crest is stitched to the front of his black sweater. He looks very adorable. Clearly, Ellie forced him to dress up. His gaze catches yours, full of something you can’t quite grasp, a small, embarrassed smile on his lips.
“Hi,” he says, voice soft.
“Hi,” you repeat.
It’s been… well… you’re not quite sure how to describe how it’s been since you told him to stop kissing you. 
It’s not like you guys have stopped seeing each other since then. Or that it’s been more awkward or anything. It just feels as if you’ve been depriving your body of what it needs, like you’re actively starving yourself. 
You’d feel full while he was fucking you, and yet there was a hole in your chest, gnawing at your thoughts, a hunger so deep rooted that it’s been taking you longer to come. 
Joel had noticed, too. Noticed your struggle and your frustration. He took it as something he was doing wrong, even though you insisted that wasn’t the case. Still, he took his time with you, trying to meet all your needs, and that, funnily enough, just made you feel worse. 
Your meetings have grown fewer. Sometimes you would go a couple weeks without seeing each other—at least like that.  Funny, how before you were so upset when he hadn’t been with you for a while. And now… now the distance is needed.
You still went out to dinner with him and Tommy and Maria. You still stopped by to say hi to Ellie and ask Joel how he’s been. Things have been normal, besides the overwhelming feeling of longing that strikes your breast the moment you see him. 
You worry that it shows on your face, especially because of the dreams you’ve been having, like some lovesick teenager. Dreams that don’t involve just having sex. Dreams that frame the two of you as lovers, as parents as… growing old together. 
Sometimes you’ll wake up crying, wondering if maybe you should just stop seeing him, talking to him, being around him all together. But then you’ll see him in town, or on patrols, and you know you’d never be able to stay away.
You swallow down the lump in your throat, and turn your attention to Ellie. 
“Hey kiddo!” You greet, plastering a smile on. She doesn’t seem to notice your being off. 
“You’re not dressed up,” she remarks, arms crossing over her chest. 
“Um. Yes I am,” you gesture to your black sweater and black pants. “I’m a black cat.” 
“You don’t even have ears or whiskers and a nose. That's a terrible costume.” 
Joel squeezes her shoulder with a frown. “Hey, quit.”
“No, she’s fine. She’s right,” you sigh. “This was super last minute.” 
“Cat is doing face painting down by the haunted house. You should let her paint some whiskers on you.” 
You take a glance at Joel and he shrugs. God he looks ridiculous in that costume. Your heart constricts. You might as well be as ridiculous as him. 
“That sounds great,” you say. Ellie looks like she’s about to drag you there when Dina comes running around the corner, practically slamming into her. 
“Hey!” Ellie laughs, “Slow down.” 
“You have to come with me. We’re going to do the haunted house, Jesse is already waiting for us. Come on,” Dina says, and pulls Ellie away before you and Joel can say a thing. 
The two of you stand there for a moment, watching the kids with fond smiles before finally looking at each other. 
His gaze seems to soften impossibly more when it lands on you.
“Your costume is kinda lame,” he says after a moment. 
“Oh shut up.”
**
The paintbrush glides smoothly over your skin as Cat paints the tip of your nose black and whiskers on your cheeks. You keep sneaking glances at Joel who waits patiently for your face painting session to finish.
Once you’re done you stride over to him, grinning.
“Well?” You prompt, turning around and showing off your newly improved costume. “Not so lame anymore, huh?”
He chuckles, eyes roaming your figure. Heat simmers low in your belly at the glint in his dark eyes. “Much better.”
He pauses, eyes catching on your face. “Hey, wait.” He grabs your hand and pulls you in close. He’s warm, a nice contrast to the cool October air. You want to just snuggle up to him, wriggle your fingers up under his sweater to share his warmth.
“You got a little somethin’…” he trails off, hand coming up to press his thumb to your skin. He gently wipes off a stray black smudge from beneath your eye. It takes no less than five seconds, yet it feels like an eternity. Your chest presses into his, his hand is warm as it cups your cheek. His breath puffs against your lips, an almost kiss. And his eyes, focused so dearly on the smudge, slowly drift up to lock with yours. 
“Perfect,” he mumbles, gaze never straying from yours. His hand never leaves your cheek, his thumb brushing carefully below your eye once more, a soft, subconscious caress now.
“Thanks,” you breathe.
Time feels like it’s stopped. 
A kid rushes by with a delighted scream as another kid in a costume chases after him. You and Joel jolt apart, snapped back into motion.
He clears his throat and you swallow hard.
“You want somethin’ to drink?” he asks.
“Yes, please.”
***
Tommy is beaming with his own little flush of alcohol when you and Joel come across his stall.
Maria hangs by his side, but her eyes follow every action happening around you. Ever the diligent leader.
“Howdy,” Tommy says, and Maria takes the time to glance over at the two of you with a welcoming smile.
“Hey,” Joel says, and you nod your head in greeting.
“You guys lookin’ for a drink?” Tommy asks. “We’ve got spiked apple cider.”
You bounce excitedly on your toes at that. Joel laughs lightly at the way your expression brightens. “We’ll take two.”
“Comin’ right up.”
“You’ve done a great job planning for this, Maria. Everything looks amazing,” you say.
She turns to you, and to your surprise, she looks a bit bashful. “Thanks. Everyone on the council helped a lot. I’m glad we can provide something fun like this.”
“The kids really need it.”
“I think the adults do, too. It’s nice to be able to scream without it being true fear.”
“Amen to that,” Tommy pipes up and sets two mugs of steaming spiked apple cider down. 
“Thanks, Tommy,” Joel says, and hands you a mug.
“There’s a haunted house down the road, you guys should go check it out. Laney and Paul spent a long time on it,” Maria says.
“We will, thanks. See you guys around!”
You wave goodbye to them and make your way through the plaza. Joel’s hand finds the small of your back, warm and steady. You’re glad for it, as scarers prowl along the streets, jumping out randomly and thrusting their hands in your face.
The haunted house lingers at the edge of the road like a ghost. Party City decorations blot the yard: gravestones, plastic skeletons, witches with rotted cloaks. It’s like everything they could manage to carry was dumped here. 
A line curves outside the door, kids bouncing on their feet as they await their turns. You feel a little ridiculous joining them, being your age, but Joel probably feels even more ridiculous so you push the thought from your mind.
“I’m actually kind of nervous,” you tell him as screams ring out from within the house.
“This thing ain’t nearly as terrifyin’ as the real world,” Joel says.
“Yeah, but still. I’ve never been a fan of being scared.” 
Joel takes a sip of his spiked apple cider and shrugs. “I’ll protect ya.”
“My hero,” you coo and run your hand over the superhero crest stitched to his chest. He smiles. 
Soon enough you’re at the door. 
“You go first,” you tell Joel, and shove him in front of you, but you don’t let go of him.
"Good to know you're not afraid to throw me to the wolves."
"Your sacrifice will not be in vain."
He rolls his eyes but lets you fist one of your hands in his sweater and hold onto his arm with the other. You peer around him as the two of you venture inside. 
A radio plays spooky sounds from all directions as you trail behind Joel through the house. Your eyes flit across every crevice, searching for who is going to scare you. Still, you don’t notice everything.
From seemingly nowhere, someone pops out in a Michael Meyers mask with a fake knife. You screech and hold tight to Joel. He hardly even flinches.
“How are you so chill?” you ask with a pout once you’ve recovered. Red lights flash in the hallway. Your voice is shaking. God, you’re a wimp.
“Because I’ve got someone I need to protect. I can’t act all scared, now, can I?”
You roll your eyes, knowing he’s just making shit up. He’s not scared at all.
You get closer and closer to him as the house progresses. Your hands are now interlinked, your cheek pressed against the warm muscle of his shoulder blades. You’re practically on top of him, trying to stay as close as possible. 
Even with Joel acting so nonchalant, you’re scared. You get jump scared a few more times as you continue, thankful that your hands are preoccupied with holding onto Joel else you might’ve punched one of the scarers.
Eventually you make it to the end in one piece, your heart racing. You know it’s ridiculous—Ellie probably got through this with a straight face. Still, it’s kind of fun, being scared. You’re giggling into Joel’s sweater by the end of it, and he’s tucked you into his side, hand still interlocked with yours as you meander back to the plaza.
Warmth blossoms in your chest. Is this what it would be like if you were truly together? You feel the urge to push up on your toes to kiss him, but you shove it down. Guilt tugs at the back of your mind at the thought. 
“You’re such a scaredy cat, I guess that costume is fittin’,” he muses, rubbing warmth into your waist.
“Sorry we can’t all be macho men like you."
You go to pull away, to create some distance. You can’t keep getting close to him like this. It weighs too heavily on your heart. But Joel squeezes your hand and tugs you back into his side, and you’re so very weak. You melt into him despite yourself.
“I think you rather like my macho-ness,” he says.
Heat pools in your belly at the smirk on his face, the darkness in his eyes. You avert your gaze with a small smile, warmth coloring your cheeks. “Yeah right.”
He turns toward you, towering over you. His hand splays heavily on your hip, and you shudder. “Playin’ coy now, huh? Where was this yesterday when—“
“Joel!” Ellie screeches, skidding to a stop in front of the two of you. You feel the urge to jerk away, but Joel only shifts so that he’s no longer in your face. He still keeps you close. 
“What’s up kiddo?” 
“There’s a campfire, everyone’s asking us to play a song.” 
That piques your interest. Joel has played guitar for you a couple times, though he’s always very shy about it. You’ve stumbled across him playing on his own with no one to watch. It’s fascinating what the music does to him.
It’s like he’s transported somewhere else, his eyes closed as his fingers pluck the strings of his guitar, his foot tapping to the beat, his head nodding along as his hands tell a story through the notes. 
You’ve never seen him play a whole song like that, he’s always noticed you before he could ever finish. And when you’d ask him to keep playing, there was a bit of stiltedness. You realized it was nervousness… he wanted you to be impressed, to like what he was doing. 
You’re not sure how you ever could dislike his playing. 
“You should do it,” you say. 
Joel’s hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. “I dunno—“
“What, you’re not scared, are you?” you tease.
“Don't talk to me about being scared. Pretty sure you stretched out my sweater with how hard you were holding onto me,” he counters. 
“Will you two stop bickering like a married couple? Joel, they’re waiting. Come on!” Ellie says and grabs his hand, tugging him along. You laugh as you follow, though her little comment sticks in your mind. 
***
Joel settles down on a log with his guitar in his lap. Ellie sits at his side. You got a spot a couple logs away, so you could get a good view of them. The campfire lights his silver hair copper, reflecting like stars off the wood of his guitar. 
“Any fans of Bread here?” he asks, and a few hoots and hollers sound out. Joel laughs at that, and Ellie rolls her eyes. You've never heard of the band, but you wait with bated breath. They tune their guitars, and then Joel takes a deep breath and counts down. 
One, two, three, four…
Soft strumming fills the air. Ellie keeps the main melody, but Joel plucks more of the details. He sings first.
Baby I’m-a want you
Baby I’m-a need you
You’re the only one I care enough to hurt about
His voice is smooth, a bit shaky from the nerves, but it washes over you like a warm wave of water. Immediately, you’re drawn in. It’s unrealistic, but you still think that Joel could save the world with his voice. It’s scratchy but soft, if one can be both of those things at the same time.
He looks up through his lashes, his gaze catching yours.
Maybe I’m-a crazy, but I just can’t live without
your lovin’ and affection… givin’ me direction
Like a guiding light to help me through my darkest hours
Lately I’m-a prayin’ that you’ll always be-a stayin’
Beside me…
Your breath catches in your throat while he sings.
It’s just a song, you tell yourself. But the way he’s looking at you… it’s as if everyone else has disappeared. As if the words were created specifically for you. As if… as if maybe he chose this song for a reason…
Ellie picks up the prechorus with her angelic voice, and you’re brought back into the present. But then Joel starts the solo, his eyelids fluttering shut as the music takes over him. His head nods along to notes as he plucks each one out with precision and skill. His foot taps in time with the beat, and people cheer, but you can’t stop staring. 
The solo ends all too soon, but Joel’s voice merges beautifully with Ellie’s harmonies back on the prechorus once more. 
Lately I’m-a prayin’ that you’ll always be a stayin’
Beside me…
Used to be my life was just emotions passin’ by. 
Then you came along and made me laugh and made me cry
He gives you a small grin, secret, for no one else but you.
You taught me why…
Baby I’m-a want you. 
Baby I’m-a need you. 
Oh, it took so long to find you baby
Baby I’m-a want you.
Baby I’m-a need you.
Your chest constricts at the sight of him, at the sound of the last few notes being plucked expertly by his fingers. At the blend of his voice with Ellie’s. You can't bear to sit here at this campfire, watching him only as a friend, a fellow neighbor, just like everyone else. You want him to sing this song for you. To know that it’s only you he’s thinking of as the last few strings are plucked by his nimble fingers, ringing out into the dark, cold night. That it’s only you he sees clapping and cheering him on. But you can’t even grant him that, already on your feet the moment the song ends, practically sprinting away from the campfire as your throat grows tight and tears spring to your eyes.
You hope no one has noticed. You hope the footsteps you can hear crunching on crimson leaves are just someone walking past. Of course they’re not though.
“Are you okay?” the familiar timbre of Joel’s voice asks.
God, no! Why! 
You frantically wipe the tears from your eyes, sniffling snot so it doesn’t drip down your lip and betray you. 
“Oh,” you start, and internally curse the way your voice shakes. You turn toward the one who has been unraveling you at the seams with a trembling smile. “Hi, Joel.”
“Christ, what’s wrong, baby?”
“Don’t—don’t call me baby,” you say, and it’s not at all what you mean to say. You mean to just reassure, to just brush this off and bury it deep inside and never let it out. But you don’t. 
Joel’s face hardens, and he steps in closer with a hand stretched out but at the look on your face, thinks better of touching you.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” he says. “Why are you crying? What happened?”
Nothing. It was just a pretty song.
Was it for me?
Nothing. I’m just being hormonal.
Do those lyrics mean something to you?
Nothing. 
Enough. Enough with the excuses and the rules and the lies. 
“You happened,” you spit. 
He takes a surprised step back. “What?”
“You and your stupid fucking—your stupid fucking friends with benefits and your stupid fucking big heart and your stupid fucking guitar happened, Joel.”
This is probably the first time you’ve ever rendered Joel speechless outside of sex. He looks so stupid standing there staring at you with his wide eyes and his dropped jaw. And yet all you want to do his pull him in and hug him and tell him how much you love his stupid fucking face. Instead, you take a step back. 
“I don’t… I don’t understand,” he mutters. “You’re freezin’. Let’s head back to my place, we can talk about it there—“
“No. No. I won’t let you just fuck me and then pretend like whatever’s between us doesn’t exist.”
“That’s not—“ he starts, but then must register what you said because his brows furrow over his ice cold gaze. “Me? I pretend like it doesn’t exist?” 
“Yes!”
“No I don’t. You’re the one that told me you didn’t want me to kiss you anymore. You’re the one that’s been keepin’ me at arm's length all this time. You’re the one pretending.”
You go to yell back at him, to deny, but the realization that he’s right kills the words in your throat, and you fall silent. 
Joel steps closer, his voice dropping. “You can act like I’m the one that’s been torturing you as much as you like, but it just ain’t true.” 
His eyes flit across your face wildly, taking in the tears in your eyes, the tremble of your lips, the tint of your cheeks from the cold. He softens.
“Darlin' I... I have been in love with you since the first time I heard you laugh. Since the first time you even glanced my way. Every god damn day is torture wanting all of you when all I can have is some of you.”
You can’t speak, can hardly even breathe. 
“If you don’t want to make this anythin’ other than sex, just tell me,” he whispers, his hand coming up to cradle your jaw. His breath condenses into steam in the cold air. “Tell me you want to keep pretending, and we can keep pretending."
“I…I don’t.” You shake your head. “I don’t want to keep pretending.”
His nose brushes yours, his breath warm against your lips. “Tell me you don’t want more.”
You swallow harshly. “I want more.” 
“Tell me you’re sorry you made me stop kissing you.”
“Please, kiss me, Joel.”
“You’re not very good at followin’ directions, are you?” he says, grinning, and you can’t help but laugh into the kiss when he pulls you in.
His lips are soft, deliberate when they meet yours. He coaxes you open, makes you slow down, pulls you into it so you feel it entirely. Reminds you of what you were missing when you forbade him from kissing you. 
God, you missed it so much. Missed him. 
Joel’s arms wind around your waist, his hands sliding along the fabric of your coat, and it’s so cold but god you wish you had less layers on right now. You’re sure the warmth of his hands could keep you from hypothermia. 
“I’m sorry I forbade you from kissing me,” you say. 
He hums, “I guess I can forgive you. Might need some convincing.”
“Oh shut up,” you grin, and pull him back in again. 
“I hate pretending like I don’t love you,” he murmurs against your lips, hands gripping your waist.
“You… really love me?”
“Did you not hear my speech earlier?” 
“I did. I just… can’t really believe it.”
He pulls you in close and gently grasps your jaw with his large hands. He kisses you again, thumbs brushing against your cheeks. 
His lips find the corner of your mouth. “I love you,” he says. 
A kiss to your cheek. “I love you.”
A kiss to your eyelid. “I love you.” 
When he pulls back, he’s smiling again. It’s strange to see Joel smile. He really doesn’t do it often around anyone. But you guess you’re an exception.
All that time you had spent pushing him away, agonizing over how much you loved him, fearing that he’d leave you if you so much had hinted that you were in love with him, only for him to be in love with you all this time? Holy shit. The world feels like it’s turned upside down. 
“Okay, I think I believe you now,” you say in a laugh. 
“You haven’t said it back, which I guess is alright—“
“I love you too, Joel,” you interrupt. 
He softens again. “I love you,” he murmurs, and pulls you in again for another toe curling kiss. God, you were an idiot for making him stop.
He wipes the tears from your eyes with a calloused thumb. “Your face paint is smudgin’.” 
“It was a stupid costume anyway.”
“No, it's cute. But…” Joel glances about, lips quirking in a smirk. He leans down, and his voice is so low you almost don’t hear it. “I think it would look better on my floor.”
“Well…” you fight the grin on your face, delighting in the heat curling low within you. “I guess since you love me and we’re kissing again and aren’t exactly friends anymore… we could really put that statement to the test.” 
“I think we should,” he says, and leans down to kiss your neck. 
You hum in approval. “What about Ellie?”
“She had plans to go to Dina’s after the festival,” he says, between kisses. “Come over, please? Or do I need to send you a letter with a wax stamp and everythin’?”
“Well… since you said please, I guess that will do.”
The whole walk to his place he has his arm slung about your waist, proudly displaying that you’re his. 
You nuzzle yourself into his side, grateful for his warmth and companionship. Your heart feels so full, so light, as if you might actually drift up into the air. Thank god Joel is holding you to keep you grounded. 
You smile at Maria and Tommy when you pass by them, and they exchange a look that says something like Finally. 
Then you’re at his house, and he’s unlocking the door and letting you go in first. And this time when you’re welcomed inside, you’re no longer worrying about rules or how you feel, or how you might fuck this up. It’s so fucking freeing. 
Joel doesn’t ravish you the moment the door closes. Instead, he kind of just stares at you. 
You squirm under his attention, growing self conscious. “What?”
He smiles, hands gravitating to your hips. “Nothin’. I just love you.” 
You grin. “I love you too.” 
He kisses you again, and you don’t think you could ever get enough of it. You kisses you roughly against the door, hips colliding with yours, over and over, and soon enough you’re shaking with want. Mind muddled, whispering a single word into his ear, “Bedroom.” 
It feels different here this time. All those times in the past had felt restrained, now, everything feels exactly as it should. 
When before you used to strip down quickly just to get him inside you, this time, you both take your time. He carefully unwraps you like a present as he noses kisses down your throat. He peels your thick black sweater off, and slides the straps of your bra down your shoulders, his dark eyes locked with yours. Joel reaches behind you and undoes the clasp with ease. You can hardly hold back your shaky sigh. 
Your hands smooth over his sweater-clad chest before pulling it up and over his head. That jagged scar is there on his stomach, a reminder of everything he’s been through. You run your hand along it, and he shudders. 
“Sit down,” he says. 
You sit on the edge of the bed, and he kneels before you. Then, he grabs your boot-clad foot and sets it on his thigh. He undoes the laces and carefully takes the boot off. He does the other, and then hooks his fingers around your waistband and pulls it and your panties off together. 
“I was right,” he says. “It really does look better on my floor.” 
“You’re ridiculous,” you say, and pull him back into you. His lips catch yours gently, but the kiss intensifies when your mouth parts eagerly as his tongue swipes across the seam of your lips. His tongue slips in, and a moan tumbles out of you as your hands scrabble at his shoulder blades, your nails lightly scratching over thin scars.
His nose squishes against your cheek, and his large, hot hands slide up and down your body, like he just can’t keep them still. Like he wants to catalog all of you right now, remember it forever. 
He rocks against you, still confined in his jeans, but you can feel the hard shape of him brushing against your sensitive core, the friction incredibly delicious. Your hands find his button and zipper, undoing them both with as much concentration as you can muster, though it’s really difficult when he’s kissing you like you contain all of the world’s oxygen. 
Finally, he allows you to breathe, his beard scraping against the sensitive skin of your throat as he mouths hot kisses down your skin. He grips one of your thighs, setting it against his hip, large, rough fingers splaying across the whole of it. God, you love how easily you fit in his palms.
He grinds his hips into you over and over and you moan, aching for the feel of him inside you. You tug at his waistband again. “Joel, please take these off already.” 
“Not yet,” he says, and releases your leg, his hand skating across the skin of your thigh, brushing gently along, making you shudder in his hold. You can feel the warmth of his fingers as he nears where you want him most. 
And then, his fingers are on you, swirling in gentle circles, unraveling you at the seams. Your head hits the mattress and your back arches. He knows exactly what to do to make you putty in his hands, has had so much time to practice. But this time, it feels so much better, knowing now that he loves you. That you’re more than just friends. 
Your palms find his face and you pull him in for a slow, meaningful kiss, trying to tell him just how thankful you are for him. How glad you are that he loves you. How sorry you are for not letting him kiss you. It’s kind of hard to kiss him, though, when he’s making you feel this good. Your fingers curl into his hair, tugging at it, and he moans into your mouth. 
He slips one, two fingers inside you, pumping them at a steady pace that has your hands gripping his hair tightly and your hips scrabbling for that pleasant release dangling in front of you. He urges you on with encouraging, quiet words, his dark eyes boring into yours. Your mind, body, and soul feel hot.
When his thumb finds your clit it’s only moments until you’re shattering against him, warmth flooding your body. Your hips jerk, your legs shaking as he takes you over the edge. 
“Pants off. Now,” you huff between breaths, and he finally listens. 
“Yes, ma’am.” 
Then, he shifts you up the bed… it reminds you of the first time the two of you had sex again after he was so busy. So much the same yet so different. His hand moves up your body, cups one of your breasts, kneading it gently. When his thumb ghosts over your nipple, you shiver. 
“You’re so beautiful, darlin’,” he murmurs, and grasps your knee, pulling it over his hip. 
And then he’s sliding in, and the stretch is blissful, so welcome, so familiar and yet so new. You hold onto him, keeping him close as he begins to move. You feel full, mind faraway with bliss.
“God, Joel-“ you hiss. 
He groans out your name, and it rumbles through you like rolling thunder. Lightning lights a fuse at the end of your spine. 
You’re out of control. He tends to do that to you. Make you angry, make you sad, draw all the emotions you tend to not want to deal with out of you. Frustrates you, makes you so hungry with want that you throw all semblance of rational thought away. And he likes it. You like it. 
God, you love him so much. 
You move together as one, pushing and pulling. Everything shrinks down to just this. Him. You. Where your bodies meet. 
“More,” you moan, and he huffs out a laugh, but obliges, thrusting into you deeper, harder, and you’re as tight as a bowstring. 
Every anxious thought, every worry, every single doubt dissipates with every movement of his hips. You shift your own to meet his thrusts, and soon he’s gasping into your skin, growling your name. His hand winds into your hair, and he breathes with you, eyes locked with yours. 
“Come on, baby,” he murmurs. “Come for me.” 
Well, who are you to deny him? He pushes you over the edge in an instant, your body going taught, eyes rolling back into your head. His name flows out of you like a mantra.
Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel. 
“I love you,” he says into your throat when he follows you, hips jerking with sloppy thrusts as he comes inside you. 
Joel collapses next to you, pulling you into him, his arm slung heavily across your waist. When you can finally catch your breath, you say, “I love you, too.”
His grin is sated, eyes heavy when he pulls you in for another deep kiss. “We’ve said that a lot, huh?”
“Just making up for lost time. I think it’s alright.” 
“I should’ve said it a lot sooner,” he says, calloused fingers brushing against your cheek as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. 
“Me too. Telling you not to kiss me was really dumb.” 
“Probably not the smartest thing you’ve said.” 
You scoff in mock offense, pushing at his shoulder. “Asshole.” 
“Yeah, but you love me.”
You roll your eyes, but scoot further into him, laying your head on his chest. 
It might have been a risk to fall in love with your best friend, but God, you’re glad you did. 
“Yeah, I really do.”
379 notes · View notes
elryuse · 9 months
Text
DROWNING IN LUST
JOY X MALE READER
Tags : Blowjob, Throatfuck, Throatpie, Swimming pool, Lifeguard, Hardcore
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You were currently enjoying your vacation here in Jeju. Being a hardworking college student definitely gives you some stress... Thankfully your friends are good enough to ask you out on a vacation for a week in Jeju.
At first you didn't really agree with them, mostly because you don't really have a lot of money in your bank account... Not to mention the pressure from all of the exams and tests that are coming closer. But.. Your friends didn't give up... And they definitely should be thanked, because if you never went out... You're probably gonna miss the greatest vacation in your whol life.
After arriving at Jeju, you and your friends immediately went to the hotel room before unpacking all of your bags and luggage. Your friends just couldn't wait to eat some of the local delicacies here in Jeju.. So without waiting.. You all immediately leave the hotel and search for a restaurant.
After looking around many places on Google Maps, You all finally picked one place. It was a traditional restaurant that serves 제주흑돼지 ( Jeju Pork ) and 해물탕 ( Spicy Seafood Hotpot ). Not to mention pairing those beautiful dishes with a few bottles of Soju. Definitely hit all of the good spots in your body.
After a few more bottles... All of you are basically tipsy and started chattering weird languages and words. Thankfully you all made it back to the hotel room. After taking a nice nap on the huge bed, it's easily one of the greatest naps you've ever felt in your life.
The next day arrived. You were currently having a bad hangover... But you could still do some basic things. After taking a cold shower and getting yourself done. You immediately went with the boys to the buffet. The food is not the greatest but it definitely filled your empty stomach.
After eating a ton of food starting from Savory dishes like American Food, Asian Food, Japanese food followed by some cakes, jelly and other desserts. You're basically done for the morning. After going back to your room... You immediately went back into the comfy bed, and immediately fell asleep.
"Oi... Oi... Y/n... Wake up... We're going to check the swimming pool... Are you in"?
"F-fuck... *yawn* What time is it...".
"It's 12pm bro... Come on... You're missing out on all of the fun".
"Okay okay... Hold on".
"Aight... Let's go guys".
In the end, you followed what your friends wanted. That is swimming in the hotel's pool. For a 3 Star hotel you were definitely expecting something way way more worse. But to your surprise... It is actually pretty decent. Some might say pretty good for the price.
Not to mention you could definitely see some beautiful girls swimming there. Heck even the lifeguards look sexy as hell. Shit... This is not good... I don't want to get a boner right now.. That will be bad... Fuck.
Shit where is everyone anyway.. Aghh.. Fuck... At this point... It's just me that's gonna swim.. Aghhh that motherfuckinh morons.....
"Are you lost kid"?
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"O-oh... N-no... It's just that I'm supposed to be here with my friends.. But... I think they trolled me on this one".
"Awww that's so mean... ".
"It's okay... It always happens to me... *sigh* Do you know a place to get some drinks maybe".
"Ohhh boy you sure I do... You know what... Since all of your friends did such a mean thing to you.. How about I give you something cool"?
"R-really... You'll do that for me"?
"Why not... Let's go come with me".
"O-okay".
You don't really know if this is a good idea or not. But there's no denying that this woman is pretty as fuck. Her face and smile are so beautiful yet so mysterious. It made you really curious.. So you trusted her at least for now.
But for a surprise... You wouldn't ever think of being surprised in a changing room... Especially in the woman's restroom. But the more she took you deeper and deeper inside the restroom... You immediately know that shits about to go down.
After finding an empty small room... She immediately pinned you down... And started making out with your tongue.. Her warm and slippery tounge started touching your lips.. Before giving your mouth a warm welcome.
"Heheh.... I'm so fucking horny right now... Do you know how long I've waited for a nice looking man such as you to come"?
"R-really... You think I'm nice looking"??
"Mhmmm of course honey... You're my style... And I can't wait to finally fuck this body of yours hehe".
"Hmm... Ahhhh".
"Hehe don't worry... I'm good at this".
And just like that She started undressing her swimsuit, revealing her petite body. Her small waist and perky breast is definitely a worthy sight to see. She started smiling and giggling before doinh the same thing by undressing your swim trousers.
"Omo... What a big cock....".
"T-thankss".
She started gripping your cock, before pumping it up and down.... Her smooth hands easily glides through your stiff rod. The pressure of her stimulating grip started to make your cock harder and harder. To the point that you wanted to explode.
"Now now... Don't cum just yet... ".
"I-'mm trying my best.. ".
"Good boy".
After she released her grip from your cock. She immediately kneels down. She then put your cock in the entrance of her lips and started lickinh your cock. At first it was a subtle lick and kissing on your cock. But that soon turned the opposite direction.
She started sucking your cock. The way her tounge wrapped around your cock was truly magnificent. Not to mention her tight mouth sucking your cock up and down was very stimulating.
"S-shit... Your mouth is so tight Noona".
" *Gulp* *Gulp* Mmhmmm.... So big... ".
"If you keep this up... I might cum already... ".
"Mmhmm *Gulp* not yet... I want you to fuck my fucking throat... I want you to make it sore.... ".
"Fuckk.... ".
" *moan* Mhmmm.... *gulp*.
After hearing that... You immediately wrapped your hands around her neck and started thrusting deeper inside her throat.. At this point... Your cock has reached the deepest part of her mouth... Even though she started choking.. You didn't give a fuck... And started fuckinh her throat properly.
" *gulp* *gulp* Mhmm.. Mmm.. *pat your thighs*.. Mhmm".
"Shhhhh.... Be a good girl Noona... I'll fuck your throat just like what you wanted".
" *gulp* *gulp*... Mhmm... Mmm".
"Fuck... Fuck... I'm gonna cum.. Aghh I'm gonna cum deep inside your throat Noona... Take it all... Aghhh".
"MHMMMMMM..... *moan* ".
And just like that... You released all the cum that you have stored inside your balls. Releasing a ribbon of cum... At this point all she could do was drink and swallow all of your hot and warm cum. After you make sure that she's done swallowing all of that cum... You slowly release your cock ftom her mouth.
"Fuck... That was so Good Noona".
" *cough* *cough* G-glad... You liked it... ".
"I've never done something like that... It was amazing".
"Hehe... H-here... Take my phone number... I think I would want to fuck you again in the future... ".
"R-really".
"Mhmm... Of course baby... ".
In the end, you went back to your room. Before getting surprised by all of your friends who were actually planning to give you a birthday suprise. But you don't really give a damn. cause all you know.. You already received a better surprise. A surprise that will never be forgotten.
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~ THE END ~
420 notes · View notes
coryosmin · 3 months
Text
finnick odair sfw alphabet
A = Affection (How affectionate they are)
i think finnick is very affectionate. he loves to just hug you and cuddle you whenever he can. one of his favorite things is going out to the water and holding you while you guys watch the ocean for hours.
B = Best Friend (what they would be like as a best friend)
finnick as your best friend is great. he teases you, he’s sarcastic, but he’s also so loving and caring. he would protect you no matter what and just be there for you.
C = Cuddles (Do they like cuddles?)
he loves cuddles!! especially if he gets to be really close with you. he just wants to constantly feel safe around someone he loves and cuddling you makes him feel so safe and secure. it grounds him.
D = Domestic (do they want to settle down, how are they at cooking and cleaning?)
finnick is definitely the time to settle down, get married, have kids. i can see him being the type to be a stay at home dad and do cooking and cleaning.
E = Ending (if they broke up with their partner, how would they do it?)
finnick would be so genuine and sweet about it. he would take your hands and look you in the eye as he spoke. it would be so hard to be mad when he’s just being so real with you.
F = Fiancé(e) (how do they feel about commitment?)
he loves commitment. i think he would be more than willing to marry you when the times right
G = Gentle (how gentle they are emotionally and physically)
he’s a gentle guy. he wants you to know he cares while also knowing you care for him. he rarely raises his voice, every movement he does is a sweet movement. it’s all very genuine.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? What are their hugs like?)
he loves giving hugs. his favorite way to hug you is if you’re doing something and he comes up behind you to wrap his arms around you and plop his chin on your shoulder.
I = I love yous (how fast they say the L word)
i feel like it would take a bit to get finnick to say i love you. you have to date him for quite some time and really develop a deep connection with him. but when he says it, it’s so romantic and genuine. even a lil emotional
J = Jealousy (how jealous do they get?)
i feel like with finnick it could go both ways. he wouldn’t want anyone to flirt with you but he also would be understanding if you guys are in the same position. so really it’s all dependent upon your dynamic.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? where do they kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)
finnick would move your hair behind your ear and caress your cheek. he would look into your eyes and then lean in and kiss you deeply and meaningfully. he loves to kiss your lips, your head, your forehead, everywhere. he practically worships you. finnick would love to be kissed on the lips and on his cheek.
L = Little Ones (how are they around children, do they want children?)
yes finnick wants children!!! he wants a family!! i feel like he is so adorable with kids. god i love him.
M = Morning (how they are in the mornings)
finnick is so cuddly and goofy in the morning. he just wants to hold you but he will also kiss you’re whole entire face in a silly way. and then say things like “good morning sunshine.” in that deep voice that he has when waking up omg
N = Nights (How they are at night)
he’s very romantic. holding you close to him, kissing your neck and wrist and arms in a sensual but not nsfw manner. he just worships you and wants you to know that he appreciates you.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
i think finnick would really need to know you before he could open up about himself. he’s had a lot of trauma in his life and i don’t think he would feel comfortable until he has established a connection with you in which he can feel vulnerable.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
finnick doesn’t get angry often. he’s a very nonchalant, go-with-the-flow kind of dude. but there are definitely times when he gets angry.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
HE WOULD REMEMBER EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. he has such a good memory when it comes to everything about you. and if you have a doctor’s appointment, he will remind you because he just cares about you so much :(((
R = Remember (Favorite memory about your relationship)
his all time favorite memory of your relationship would be when you guys got together. it would’ve been very emotional and there would’ve been tears. i think he it would stay in his heart forever.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
he’s very protective of you. finnick doesn’t want you to get hurt or feel unsafe so he would do anything in his power to make sure you know that you are loved and safe whenever you’re with him. for him, he would want you to do the same. i think he is someone that needs reassurance a lot to make sure you truly love him. and so words of affirmation really help him.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
finnick would put in a lot of effort into dates, anniversaries, etc. i feel like he is the type to make gifts rather than to buy them. so everything he gives you is very intimate. like he would be the type to make you a necklace out of seashells or to craft ropes into different shapes and such by making knots.
U = Ugly (What are some of their bad habits?)
i think finnick would have the habit of spacing out a lot. he doesn’t mean to but it just happens.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they about their looks?)
he’s very concerned about his looks. unfortunately, it’s been engrained into him for so long so he would be constantly worried on whether he looks good enough for you or not. but dw because you always reassure him!!
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
he would feel so incomplete with out you. you mean so much to him and he would feel lost without you by his side. much like how he was with annie being in the capitol, he would disassociate frequently because he wouldn’t have you there to keep him grounded. :((((
X = Xtra (Random headcanon)
finnick once dragged you out to the ocean when it was raining and you guys danced in the rain while laughing. it was so adorable.
Y = Yuck (What are some of the things they don’t like?)
finnick dislikes mess i think. he would prefer things to be very neat and clean
Z = Zzz (Sleeping habits)
finnick is a very light sleeper so the slightest of movements wakes him up. he also will cuddle you tightly in his sleep. he’s just so cute
263 notes · View notes
doitforbangchan · 3 months
Text
All Bark and No Bite
Chapter 1
It's here! This is the first chapter of my first real fic here on tumblr! I am not the best writer so please be kind :')
Series masterlist
Alternate Universe SKZ!
Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8
Previous - Next
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Summary: There's no turning back now, not when you know what you left behind. A dangerous situation now replaced with another. After the omegas disappeared you have to extra careful, especially now that you have left your pack and family.  What happens when your car breaks down on another pack's land?
Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, fluff, angst, virgin!reader, cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 
Chapter warnings: Angst, anxiety, reader is VERY sad, minor violence, cursing, A/B/O (pls let me know if I missed any!)
MDNI 18+
Wc: 2400 ish
Disclaimer: The names and faces used here are just that, names and faces, and in no way reflect the real people the characters were designed after. The views and actions of these characters do not reflect the real Stray Kids in any way shape or form. This is all for fun let’s keep it that way please. 
You should have known better. All those hushed conversations your parents have been having, all the phone calls your father excused himself to take, even the trip to your packs doctor for a very extensive physical. None of it set off your mental alarm bells and that made you feel so stupid. But how could you have known that your own parents, the people who raised you and were supposed to have your best interest at heart, were planning on selling you off to the highest bidder once you became mature enough. 
That's life for omegas these days, though. After a worldwide virus a few decades ago, omegas just stopped being born. The virus wiped the gene out almost completely, leaving a very small percentage of omegas left. Unluckily for you, you happened to be the only omega born in your area in the last 40 years. That made you highly sought after by alphas, especially dangerous ones. 
Your hands were still shaking. It had been hours since you escaped your parents house in your car, yet you couldn't get your hands to stop shaking with the immense adrenaline you’re feeling. You had no plan, no money, nowhere to go and no one to help you. Your only friend, Ash, was a beta girl in your pack and as much as you liked her you knew she could do nothing to save you now. At least your car had a full tank of gas, the only good thing your father had done for you was allow you to drive to Ash's house on occasion.
All the adrenaline was starting to wear off as you drove, the realization of what this would mean for you and your life now starting to sink in. The constant looking over your shoulder, the uneasiness you will always feel, it was almost too much to handle. No. What would have been too much to handle is letting that filthy man get his hands on you. Kim Hongjoong.You had heard about the things that alpha had done to claim power over his pack. From sabotage to murder, none of it was good. From what you could gather he was on the search for an omega to complete his pack and somehow had heard whispers about you. The only known omega within a few hundred miles. He wanted an omega to raise his children and help him lead his pack and would do anything to get his hands on one; whatever necessary. 
You imagine the sum of money he offered your parents was just too good for them to pass up on. Your alpha father was too proud to accept anything less than a hefty amount. Your mother was an omega through and through. Obedient and submissive to her alpha. Just as she raised you to be. She herself was a rare omega. Though back in her day the omega population wasn't as low as it is now. Now the numbers have fallen to less than 0.2%. Your mother molded you into the perfect little doll. Almost. Never in your wildest dreams did she or your father imagine you, their doll, would be disobeying and running from all you had ever known, yet here you are. That's what real fear does to a person. Fight or flight. All your life you had been all bark and no bite. Now this is your way of biting back.
All you had to your name was this old car (technically your fathers), an old backpack with a few changes of clothes, and couple cans of spaghetti o’s. Luckily this car had an old map in the glovebox. Better than nothing especially since you had no gps and no phone. You knew better than to take the main roads. Your pack would undoubtedly be looking for you and the car. Back roads it was then.
You couldn't tell exactly how many hours you had been driving at this point, too caught up in your mind to really pay attention to the time but by now it had gotten very dark and you found yourself on this old road going through a small town in the woods. You vaguely remember passing through the small community about half an hour ago. Of course you hadn't stopped in the town in fear of being noticed or recognised somehow. But now you’re wishing you had stopped at that little gas station and at least tried to get an ounce of gas with the spare change left in the middle console. The car was officially running out of gas. In the middle of nowhere. Just your luck. 
 “Are you serious?” You asked no one with tears starting to fill your eyes.
Feeling the difference in the vehicle causes you to pull off to the side of the road with a groan. You know it won't be going any further with the way it just gives up there on the side. Turning off the car and leaning your head against the wheel you let out a light sob. This wasn't the life you had envisioned for yourself. Once upon a time you thought one day you would meet your true mate, a caring alpha who would love you for you and want to make you happy. Seems as though that was just a fairytale after all. Even your parents weren’t true mates. They just settled for each other. You knew you couldn’t let that be you. You wouldn’t settle, especially not for a vile man you didn't love. 
It was too late now to leave the car. This is where you will be staying for the night. Good thing it was late spring and not winter or you would freeze out here. Once your tears have slowed and the sobs have ceased you took a deep breath to calm yourself.
“You will be ok.” You repeat to yourself a few times. “You will be ok. You will be ok.” 
Will you though? It didn't matter. You had to be. With one last sigh you locked the doors and climbed into the backseat of the old car. Its seats were worn and uncomfortable but it somehow felt comforting. It felt like the last remaining bit you had from childhood. When things were simple for you. Were things ever that simple as you remembered it being though? Before presenting as an omega when you were 16 things were definitely simple. You had assumed along with everyone else that you would be a beta and go on to have a normal life. Sure sometimes you were a little agreeable and always had a gentle nature, but you had just thought you took after your mom in that aspect. Little did you know you would take after her in a different way. It wasn’t until you presented that it made sense to the pack why you were that way. It was then that the looks began from other pack members. The way their eyes would linger on you a little too hard. The way their nostrils would flare when you entered a room. It made your skin crawl thinking back.
From that point on there was no more public school for you. You were homeschooled the last few years of high school for your protection. “We're doing this to protect you not punish you, Y/N.” your father had said when he forbade you from going back to school. “You can't trust anyone these days. Not around an omega.” He was right. The thought never crossed your mind that you couldn't even trust your own parents. You wished you had been born a beta like your sister, or even an alpha like your brother. Being the youngest out of three you figured you would be like them. 
The worst part was you didn't have the suppressants you had been taking since you were a teen. They were almost impossible to come by normally, but your father had somehow gotten his hands on a steady supply and had been forcing you to take them. Another thing that was for your protection. To keep alphas from detecting you by scent. You hadn't taken any this morning before you left so you imagine your scent was going to start leaking out for any one nearby to smell. Great. Another problem for tomorrow.
Adjusting yourself on the seat to lay down as much as you could, you closed your eyes and focused on your breathing. It wouldn't be long before sleep overcame you. The exhaustion of the whole ordeal catching up with you. 
__________________________________________________________
The sun peaking through the trees awoke you from your surprisingly restful slumber. It seemed to be early morning if the dew on the windows was any indication. Peeking out the window you saw nothing around. Not even any animals. Perfect. You slowly unlocked the door and crept out quietly shutting the door behind you. Taking careful steps a few yards into the thickets ahead of you and relieving yourself helped you feel a little better. You made your way back to the car and took a second to breathe. In and out. In and out. The air was crisp and refreshing and helped you clear your head. 
Now feeling a little better you noticed how bad your stomach was growling at you. Reaching into the trunk of the car you pulled out a small can of spaghetti o’s. Not your first choice of a meal but when you panic you grab what you figure will be easiest to take with you. Plus you could use a can as a weapon if needed! 
Eating was the last thing on your mind yesterday, but now you knew you could no longer put it off. Popping a can open and taking a seat on the hood of the car with a spoon you dug into the food. It was….. food . Cold and disappointing but at the same time satisfying as you had an empty stomach. 
There you were, sitting there on the old car contemplating your next move from here with now a half full can of disappointment, when you catch a scent in the air getting stronger with each passing second. It was another person, no it was people. More than one. 
Fuck
You have been found. Whether by the packs that were after you or by a stranger it didn’t matter all you felt was terror. 
There was no time to flee. Before you could even move from the hood you could feel a pair of eyes on you to the right of you. You twist your head to face the eyes that are peaking out at you from the trees ahead. 
The stranger takes a tentative step towards you and comes out from hiding and you immediately go into fight or flight. 
     With an alarmed shout “NO”, you launched the half full can of spaghetti o’s at the intruder, hitting him square in the chest and sending the cold contents all across his shirt. 
“What the fuck?!” the possible assailant yelled. 
Spotting another figure approaching the first one you threw yourself back off the hood and onto the ground, then as quickly as possible you yanked the door open to the car and jammed yourself in locking it immediately. You made yourself as small as possible as to not be seen by them but you knew the damage had been done. There was no way out of this. No gas in the tank and even if there was you had no idea where your keys had gone.  
You could hear them talking but you were too frightened to pick up any of the words except girl, mess and Alpha. Now you really felt terror. Without realizing how close they had been to you, you let out a shriek when there was a sudden knock on the window next to you. 
Not daring to look at them for even a second you yelled through the glass “Please go away! Please please I don’t deserve this!” tears filled your eyes. 
__________________________________________________________
The smell of your distress was making Seungmins and Jeongins eyes water. They had never experienced such a powerful scent before. Not even the odor from the Spaghetti Os covering Seungmins shirt would distract from the one coming from within the vehicle. The beta wanted to be mad that she had pretty much assaulted him, but at the same time couldn’t find it within himself to care much given how much pure terror he smelled coming from the young woman. The omega.  
The young alpha Jeongin felt similarly now that he had eyes on her he felt this overwhelming urge to protect. He had never encountered one before and honestly thought he never would but now that he was laying eyes on her he felt his alpha side perk up. A part of him never wanted to stop looking at her.
Honestly the boys didn’t know what to expect when they came out here to investigate the scent that had appeared on their land late into the night. They truly didn’t expect the cause to be an omega girl that was holed up on the side of a path. 
Seungmin tried knocking again, a little more timid this time so as not to frighten her more. “Excuse me, we could smell your distress. Do you need any help?” He asked slowly. 
You spared him one quick glance then shrunk into yourself again. “No thank you, please go!” 
He sighed and stepped back a few feet to look at Jeongin in amazement at the situation.  Giving him one small nod he said “ We need to call Chan.” 
__________________________________________________________
What felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, passed and you stayed in your same position. The boys had remained there but not so close to the car anymore to which you were thankful. They were quietly mumbling amongst themselves, no doubt about an omega being caught out here alone. Every so often you would move your head just slightly to peer over at them. You hadn’t noticed before in your initial panic but they were pretty cute young men. A beta and an alpha from what you could tell. Even covered in your thrown breakfast (a shame about that really) they still managed to carry themselves proudly. Though your smell is causing their faces to scrunch up, you could tell it was taking it's toll on them.
Not even a moment later after taking another look at them you could feel the change in the air as another pair of people was approaching. Not just anybody was coming this way, it was an Alpha. A very strong one at that. The smell was starting to permeate all of your senses and was quickly becoming intoxicating. 
You could sense him before he even appeared. No matter how intrigued you may be though you can’t show weakness.
 ‘Keep your head down and wait it out’ you kept telling yourself like a mantra.  
You knew he was approaching your door. It took everything in you to remain still. Then as if struck by lightning you felt your body alight like it never has before. 
“Omega..” 
(A/N: Please do not steal my writing and content! Reblogs and comments are encouraged tho 😙once again i would LOVE to hear your thoughts and theories! This has not been beta read all mistakes are my own.)
©doitforbangchan 
TAGLIST
@ihrtlix @realrintaro @meowmeeps
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mrjoeshiesty9 · 8 months
Text
W E L C O M E // INSTA AU
Summary; Y/N and Joe have been together for 4 years, way before this LSU days. Y/N has always been there for Joe and suddenly she goes MIA until…..
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joeyb_9 I’m tired of the underdog narrative. Liked by kingjames, lahjay10_, tombrady, and 3,234,234 others
View 2,123,212 comments
lahjay10_ here we go boys!!
User2342 yesyesyes!
User37493 where was y/n?!
             ↳ user 232 can you just stop looking for her and congratulate the boy?!
bengals this is the new normal 😎
kingjames let’s go!!!!
Mamaburrow so proud of you all! On to the next one!
tombrady see you at the Super Bowl!
User9382 but for real, where was y/n? Where has she been for the last 6 months because?!?!
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lahjay10_ back to back baby! We coming for the ring!
Liked by bengals, sam_hubbard_, teehiggins, and 1,232,432 others
View 837,392 comments
Bengals who dey!!!!
User92384 this is our year boys!
sam_hubbard_ LETS GOOOOOOOO
teehiggins ayeeeee who day nation where are you!
User8173 underdogs who?!
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Y/b/f happy birthday to my best friend, my rock, my soulmate. You make everything better 🤍
Liked by y/u/n, zendaya, mamaburrow, and 76,343 others
View 63,342 comments
Zendaya happy birthday baby! Can’t wait to see you later!
Selenagomez happy birthday gorgeous!
User9342 happy birthday mother!
User29734 it’s the queens birthday!!! 
User92382 where have you been girl!?!
User1212 is this a new pic or?! Girl! It’s been 6 months since anybody has seen you!
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Y/u/n ✨ birthday shenanigans ✨
Liked by mamaburrow, yourmom, bengals, and 9,238,232 others
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Y/b/f I’m so proud to call you my best friends🤍
Taylorswift happy birthday baby! 
Mamaburrow happy birthday ma cherie, know I’m always here for you 🤍
yourmom happy birthday darling, I’m so proud of the person you have become 🤍
User2983 mother?!?!?!?!
User9382 we miss you y/n!!! Happy birthday queen!!!
Bengals happy birthday queen y/n 
lahjay10_ happy birthday sis! 
Sam_hubbard_ happy birthday lil sis! 
User1872 nope, no way they have broke up because, do you all see the comments?
          ↳ user323232 right?! Mama burrow, ja’marr and sam? Even Bengals?! No way! They’re still together!
User9283 how did the rumors of them breaking up start anyway?! 
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Joey/nupdates so joe’s family, y/n;s family, bengals family, their friends and other celebs like zendaya, taylor swift, tom holland, kid cudi and more, shared THIS EXACT SAME PICTURE. What is going on!? 
Liked by y/nupdates, Joeupdates, y/njoeybloves, and 3,322 others.
View 342 comments 
user231 so they’re not separated after all?!?!?
User39 maybe it’s a dinner party for their arc championship guys. chill. 
User932 where is this? If anybody knows? 
       ↳ user2 it seems like y/n’s house in Malibu?        ↳ user932 didn’t the bengals just play today?!
       ↳ user2  yeah but I mean….they’re both rich so…..they can easily fly everybody back and forth in 1 day hahah
       ↳ user232 also, y/n owns a private plane…. So you know….
User9232 this is random but her place is so cute!!!
      ↳ user838 right?! They’re both pretty private for people who are very much in the spotlight, so little things like these is so nice to see. 
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joeyb_9 Baby Burrow coming soon.
Tagged: y/u/n
Liked by y/u/n, taylorswift, stephcurry, and 15,322,523 others.
View 11,343,653 comments 
Y/u/n this was the hardest secret we had to keep. Thank you joeyb_9 for being the greatest partner anybody could ever ask for.     ↳ joeyb_9 I should be thanking you for everything and especially for giving me the best gift ever. I love you my girl. 🤍
   ↳ y/u/n I love you more 🤍
taylorswift ahhhh! It was so hard keeping this secret! But I love you both so much, auntie Taylor will always be here 🤍
Bengals baby burrow we are ready for you 🤍
Mamaburrow can’t wait to meet the little one 🤍
User2374 SCREAMING
User293842 mother is really a mother now!!! Queen mother!!!!
User02834 I knew it!!!!! i knew they were never broken up this whole time!!!!!!!!
lahjay10_ can’t wait to meet my little bud, gotta start them early
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Liked by y/nbaby, joey/n, lovey/n, and 5,234 others
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Joey/nupdates after the announcement that Joe and y/n were expecting (CONGRATULATIONS BY THE WAY) many of their families and friends started posting the gender reveal on their stories. I’m guessing that’s what the dinner thing that they all posted about earlier.
User2342 TEAM BOY!!!
User2384 imagine having a boy and it’s the exact same copy of Joe
      ↳ user29834 imagine having a girl and it’s the exact same copy of y/n
User92374 this kid gonna be gorgeous that’s for sure.
User0283 the genes!!!! Having the perfect parents!!!
User392 baby burrow!!! Ahhh!!
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Liked by joeyb_9, mamaburrow, yourmom, bengals, and 43,232,344 others
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Y/u/n my happy boy, so thankful 🙏🏻
joeyb_9 so grateful for you and baby j 🤍 thank you for the best gift ever
Mamaburrow can’t wait to cuddle him!
Yourmom we’ll see you all later! Can’t wait to meet him!
Y/b/f baby j! Cutest baby ever! Auntie will spoil you like crazyyy
User93784 baby j?!?
user9283 I love the privacy but I’m so curious what his name is!
    ↳ I doubt we’ll know his name until 10 years later hahaha
User3934 this is the cutest thing ever I’m crying 
User0210 they really have a baby 😭 so jealous, happy and proud!
a/n: this is my very first fanfic/insta au so... I hope you guys like it. If you want to request anything feel free to do so. I have a few more ideas so hopefully I'll get the chance to start writing them soon. :)
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ziipzeepzop-eez · 3 months
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if you still do them, is it okay you do like one shots with ROTTMNT boys and a little sibling reader?
but here’s the thing, the reader is a little pink gecko with yellow spots, they’re around 10 or 9 years old and can run just as fast as sonic the hedgehog and basically have the energy of a golden retriever, they’re like a tiny dragon and it’s adorable yet SO. FREAKING. EXHAUSTING!!
❝ pink bubbles and banana laffy taffy!! ❞
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₊˚꒰🥞꒱‧ — 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠!𝐠𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐨!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
。˚ 𓂋 🍋﹒✦﹒✿ ˚
❝l ɑׁׅ֮/ꪀׁׅ : okay i had to squeeze this one out because OHMIGOSH it is SO. CUTE!!!! i literally got soso excited when i read this because how did you know i'm legitimately obsessed with geckos?! 😭 i literally downloaded picsart to make that collage and wrote this in the span of a day or two because i got so excited aausghshdh !! fluffybun24, fluffy, darlin'. grips your shoulders and brushes your cheek tenderly. thank you. also, i'm just now realizing you asked for one shots after the fact ajsjjhd I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL AFTER RE-READING IT after writing this whole thing out XD DX but foremost, i must tell you that i mostly do my fandom writing in headcanon/reaction formats !! :(( one shot(s) aren't really my forte . . . albeit, i do hope this is just as good !! o7
(honorable mention: @agentturtlecupcake *HARSHLY NUDGES YOU* HEY. HEY LOOK. LOOKLOOKLOOOKLOKKOKLOKOOOKKLLOOOOOOOK. IT'S the, k-KID-🩷💛)
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˙🍋 ̟ !! ─ oh my goodness me, you are the simultaneous love and light, the bane and exhaustion, of everyone's respective lives.
don't get me wrong, your family absolutely adores you!!
especially since you're :(( the baby :(( aww :(((
it just, kinda freaks everyone thafuq OUT when you zip and zoom and flash everywhere
just. a maniacal streak of pink and yellow.
they don't know peace because of you. (affectionate!)
like they will be mindin' their whole business in its entirety and here you come
"*walks into the main living room* heeeeeyy, anybody seen my jupiter jim issue— [*nyooom!*] SWEET MOTHER OF G O D–"
it's not like you ever have ill intentions, tho 🥹 so it's okay.
"they're cute so it's okay!" — all of your siblings at one point, probably
while they do accept your golden retriever tendencies, it be givin' them gray hairs fr 💀✋
especially because you're so f a s t
you're there one moment then next thing they know you're halfway across the entire lair, tittering and chirping happily away.
˙🍋 ̟ !! ─ so, over the course of your life, they've all developed their own designated role when keeping up with you:
raph . . .
being the oldest definitely feels the most responsible for you and acts on it! he himself has developed a sixth sense for when you zoom by and can catch you with (relative) ease every time, and has definitely saved your butt from like. accidentally crashing into a wall or smth sjsjsj
but big bubba can't prevent everything :\ so you have gotten some owies !!
but you can always count on him to be there to help you feel better.
he's your biggest bro 🥹 he always makes you feel better.
but i imagine u're also a maniacal little shit (*cough* thanks leo *COUGH*)
so sometimes you just, str8 up run away from him like ACTIVELY escape his grasp
it deffo takes some effort 😮‍💨 (petition : #saveraphfromhissiblings /lh)
"[NAME]?! Get back here, you little speed monster!!"
*cue toiny baby gecko squealing and The Daily Chase commencement*
oh yeah. it's a daily occurrence.
you stress him out 🤣😭 but it's okay. :))
(after catching you in his hands, holding you up to eye level): "Alright, you little goober. That's enough outta ya today." "But Raaaaph!!"
and then you can't really do anything because raph knows your sweet spot, your little switch, that melts you like putty - a little patch riiiight in the center of your upper back, a well-pressurized scritch is all it takes really, and oh. there we go. down for a nap !
however you simply must have your grand rebellion moments and give him arm gummy bites the entire time but he's the just personification of "😇😌"
ain't no doubting he loves you tho. adores you, really; your bright bubbliness is what makes him smile most days, and even tho your energy is a bit much for him to keep up with, and he'd really like it if you stopped fighting him for afternoon naps sometimes, i don't think he'd change it for the world.
leo . . .
is one who's fairly on par with your hyperactivity, so he's the one we all turn to when your excitement is bubbling over into something a liiiiittle too much :'))
playing tag when you're zooming to and fro is one of you guys' favorites.
but sometimes he doesn't play fair and uses his odachi to teleport >:((
and if you get genuinely upset, he just scoops you up and blows raspberries on your soft lil tummy.
he's the only one who can wear you out so he's an essential part of everyone's lives asksksjd
but bc of this
HE PROBABLY USES YOU AS COLLATERAL TO GET THINGS HE WANTS I'M NOT EVEN PLAYIN
"LEO!!! Ugghhghhh, can you please handle them?!"
"Mmmhmmmmmmm....."
"L E O ಠಗಠ! For the last time, you are NOT choosing for movie night tonight and the kind of pizza!! You've had it all week!!!"
"Ohh, suddenly I have no capability for one very specific baby cotton candy-banana pudding gecko..... Shame. Woeful, horrible, terrible, shame—"
"LEO!!!"
he's a jerk, but he's highkey your idol and he would give the entire world for you in a heartbeat, so :))
donnie . . .
acts like your hyperactivity is an inconvenience...... but in reality, he doesn't mind it.
(only when it compromises his tech. you've only had one to two incidents involving his lab before permanent damage control was done and it's been this way ever since. 😭✋)
sure, sometimes your wild nature can make him cringe on bad days, but what's a sibling if they don't get tired of your antics once every while?
it's healthy development !!
plus. he himself has his moments where his lowkey descent into madness shows its peak, so he can't really talk.
you've all got your quirks, y'know? (/ref)
in truth he accepts it as a part of you, and he loves all of you - i mean c'mon, you're his baby sibling.
and even tho he doesn't openly admit it nearly as much as the rest of your family - he really does think you're adorable.
and in more truth: donnie takes care of you a lot. like- as soon as you started showing signs of your speediness and just-consumed-five-bags-of-candy excitement levels, he completely baby proofed the lair 😭
and you can't tell me he didn't know you'd possess those superhuman levels of speed bro you CAN'T
that man is a scientist and he leaves no stone unturned, especially when it comes to his family.
he has you microchipped too sjjsjdh
[ i just thought of this just now, actually: he and leo are a team when it comes down to your genetics/biological health. donnie researches with his stem-augmented brain and studies your dna down to the very microfiber; leo adapts with his medical affinities to make sure you're the healthiest little gecko mutant kiddo you can be. <3 ]
WE MAY HAVE MADE FUN OF HIM AT THE MOMENT, because how much harm can one baby gecko do Donnie you silly fool honhonhonhon BUT HE'S THE ONLY 👏 ONE 👏 WHO CAME IN CLUTCH.
very much "who's laughing now?"
certainly donnie. my bet's on donnie.
"THEY ALL LAUGHED. THEY CALLED ME A SILLY FOOL. BUT FEAST YOUR EYES, BRETHREN. EATETH THY WORDS!!" "..... Raphie! Bonbon's doin' that crazy scientist shtick again!!" "[NAME]. >:("
on another note, i feel donnie would extend that branch of 'baby-proofing' and relate it to the gift he created for you. [ ref: s1/ep2 — "donnie's gifts" ]
maybe it was something like . . . a malleable sludge, some sort of putty, that melded perfectly over your legs whenever you were starting to get too speedy.
you were initially excited over the cute little metal band anklets gifted to you by your older brother, buuut once it activated .... :((
it made you big sads. :((
being a little speedykins was your most defining trait !! why would donbon try to take that away from you?? :(( donnie :((( donbon why :(((
.... what you don't know, (and me either tbh, we never got that 'explanation' from the inventor himself), is that donnie made it with your specs in mind.
geckos are able to climb vertical surfaces (with some exceptions of course, but for the most part !!) — when activated, those little "putty bands" would've aided in that.
because donnie knows how much you love to run around, especially climbing up the walls, but you can't stick up there forever.
was it made to simultaneously slow your ass down? yes. 🤣😭
(he's only one man what do you want from the poor guy ☠✋ your drive by's were enough to send him into cardiac arrest every time)
...... was it made to adhere to nearly any and every surface texture known to man & mutant kind? for an unprecedented amount of time? with the intentions of you having so much fun with it? also yes.
was it made with intricate care and with, overall, your best interests at heart?
yes.
but after the whole ordeal, he really did mean it when he says you're great just the way you are. :))
in your calmer moments, he likes to have you wrap around his shoulders like a fashion designer scarf and taps at your cute little tail, half as a stim, half as a gesture of affection, while he's in the lab focusing on his latest project
or even just. vibing. y'all are primetime vibey.
he finds your weight comforting. like a tiny weighted pillow.
and he'll never admit that he feels his heart nearly burst with love and pure fondness when you yourself happily curl up into your brother and fall asleep there, cooing softly into his ear.
he built a little comfort bed/pillow extension for you in his battle shell for such occasions <3
but he prefers the sibling cuddles without his shell on.
he trusts you, after all.
(i will never financially recover from this aksjddh SOBBING)
mikey . . .
is exceptionally good at matching all of your moods: your bubbly hyperactivity and bringing you to a calmer, serene state !!
how does he do it. 🧍
he catches you in his arms and strokes/scratches your back to calm you down, and it works like a charm every time !
he never has to use dr. delicate touch on you. despite being the closest in age, surprisingly, you listen to mikey very well !
call it survivor's intuition 🫠 orrrr just the fact that you and mikey are very close and in-tune with one another,
whenever he calls it quits for you - no matter how much you might whine and pout - you genuinely do tone it down.
i know i said this for leo too but i feel like mikey just has that magic touch. yenno?
no pun intended. ha.
but en ee wayz !! yusssss, mikey and [name] are the cutest little goobers.
y'all deffo get roped together being the "babies" of the family,
and despite mikey wanting to outfit that mold — mostly by means of appeasing to raph's overprotective tendencies — he babies you a bit too !!
you like to poke fun. you're observant, clever little thing. you call mikey out on it, going so far as to call him a hypocrite,
and whether you guys have a serious discussion or not is completely up to you !
but for the time being he just pets your head and affectionately tells you to hush, and keeps right on babying you.
he likes being your older brother !! so sue him !!
dynamics change the older you guys get =] so who knows what the future has in store?
you're one of his favorite muses. your color palette never fails to strike inspiration within him 🎨✨
when he catches your pink n' yellow blur in passing, he can come up with an entire idea for murals to tag around, don't play w him
he likes to do body paint on you too !! :))
(completely safe + free of harmful chemicals wbk)
probably makes flowers out of your polka dots (he definitely calls them that) or connects them to make a bigger picture.
he made an entire field of flowers and koi fish pond encompassing your back one time and you absolutely loved it.
you'll always be his little muse 💔
"[Nameeee]!!~ C'mere, polka dot! You wanna see if I can make a constellation this time?" "YAY!!!!" "Wait- waitwaitWAITWAIT SLOW DOWN—" [ *cue wii bowling ball strike sound sequence* ]
˙🍋 ̟ !! ─ ahaaa. overall, you're their cute little ball of sunshine. their little sugar carnival. their little pink bubblegum and banana laffy taffy gecko baby! and — while you being.... you, can get just shy of unbearable sometimes, they wouldn't trade you for this world and all the others.
after all, what's a family if you don't accept every part of them? no matter how exhausting it is. <3 you're a handful, but that's why you've got six pairs. and as the years go on, it only grows.
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@chachachannah + @sweetparty for the dividers 🩷 @cureqt for the cute emoji combo 💛 & pinterest for the pictures! [the collage is by me!!] 🥰
⟆ ˙🍋 ̟ !! ─ further author notes . . .
™ : as always, susceptible to future editing for grammatical/formatting corrections !!
i absolutely loveddd writing this!! and for the intricacy, this is the quickest i've ever pulled a request-bun fresh from the oven!! :o kudos to you, fluffy! <3 i do hope you like this as much as i did aaaa!! now i've got polka dot gecko sibling brainrot. 🥴 it's true: you never know it's a good idea until it's presented to you !!
a couple of fun facts: "sugar carnival" is a term coined by me, in reference to one of my free verse poems a while back! i, also, consider myself a sugar carnival being at most times ˶ᵔᗜ ᵔ˶ & i came up with the title on the spot after hearing + envisioning "pink gecko with yellow spots". ideal color combo, criminally underrated. fluffy your brain deserves a pedestal and i will personally create it for you with my bare hands.✋🩷💛
╰┈➤ tues. jan 23, 9:18 pm, '24.
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