#Does not have kids

[destinationtoast]

My grandmother is Japanese and really likes to give gifts. Often those gifts are Japanese desserts or other food, but sometimes she just slips me cash, folded up inside a tiny, beautiful envelope. But she likes to pretend she's not giving me money, so when possible, she'll hide it somewhere that I will find later.

Today I spent the afternoon with her doing chores and tech support, and she clearly felt this warranted a significant gift in return (no matter that I enjoyed myself). But she forgot to slip something into my pocket or bag before I left, so instead she rushed outside as I was starting my car, making the old-school "roll down the window" gesture. Once I complied, she was forced to acknowledge she was handing me money, but she also tried to minimize the gesture.

The result was that she said, "Thank you, dear! I just wanted you to be able to... to buy yourself a hamburger," and then handed me a darling little envelope that turned out to contain $100. And all I could think was:

#we live in california and even here that's a lot of hamburger #do kids these days still know the old signal for #roll down the window #? #do they still use it? #it does have the advantage of being distinctive #in a way that holding down an imaginary button does not #toasty life #the value of a hamburger #memes #it's one banana michael #op #50 #100 #500 #1K #5K #10K

[awesome-shoes-with-wings]

Do any of you ever wonder if Camp Half-Blood accidentally brought in a demigod of a different pantheon before?

This would be especially hilarious if it happens sometime after The Last Olympian/Heroes of Olympus, where the gods are required to claim their kids quickly.

A whole day passes, and the new demigod needs to sleep in the Hermes Cabin and Percy is furious. Meanwhile, the Greek Gods are pointing at each other and shouting, contacting the most obscure of mini gods. Chaos erupts on Olympus as every deity in Greek Mythology is called upon and interrogated. Hermes hasn't run around so much in centuries.

Hecate sits in silence, fully aware of what's happening, but enjoying the show too much to intervene.

#does anyone want a fanfic of this? #idk if the norse and greek gods are even aware of each other's existence #but it's funnier to imagine that they aren't really #hecate keeps them secret from each other to avoid zeus having a power struggle against odin #or something similar like that #this would be absolutely hilarious #especially if the kid turns out to be a child of a norse sea god #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #magnus chase #norse gods #greek gods #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #pjo books #heroes of olympus #percy is threatening the gods aka it's wednesday #the poor lost demigod is confused

[tubbytarchia]

so ranchers huh

#sorry Im allergic to long posts but hehe uhh I wanted to post it all at once... #rancher duo #team ranchers #trafficshipping #tangotek #jimmy solidarity #double life #double life fanart #trafficblr #they are so soft and I have way too many ideas for art of them by virtue but Im gonna stop myself there #sorry if my human anatomy is awkward anywhere eugh #not terribly confident about my human art but we go all in baby #fuck it we ball as the kids say #in the way I imagine them Tango keeps his flames at bay when around people but does still walk around with his hair casually on fire #he just cant help it when Jimmy's an affectionate dog more than an avian though you know #tubby art

[reinbouxsworld]

first encounters

#im replaying the whole game once again🤓☝️ #the fact that this scene is happening in a second #Leona thinking why does this herbivore have a funny smell #while yuu is just seriously asking herself if she could taking him on a fight #its funnier in my head cause they just 😠 but they are literally going to marry and have like three kids #my little ted talk 👍 #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst fanart #leona twisted wonderland #leona twst #twst leona #leona kingscholar #leona x yuu #twisted wonderland yuu #yuu twisted wonderland #twst yuu #yuno yamine #reinbouxsart

[ratqu33n]

kristen applebees is MY president

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #riz gukgak #figeroth faeth #ratqu33n4rt #needed this episode for my soul #kristen is the main character this season #in that shes my favorite bad kid rn #her running for class president while not really knowing what that is #so me #what does class president even do i have no idea

[nerdpoe]

Danny wakes up, strapped into a rollercoaster train car with a bunch of other civilians, in a dilapidated amusement park, with an insane clown laughing through the speakers.

He can see that the track is entirely broken, and that it will send them straight to the ground.

Danny knows he won't die.

Danny knows the civilians in the train car with him will.

So he slowly freezes the wheels until the car stops, a mere four feet from the edge, allowing the icy tendrils to snake down the support struts and reinforce them. His eyes are letting out a faint blue glow, his hands frosted over, and he isn't so much focusing on keeping the ice stable as he is focusing on getting it into the gears and ensuring that the train car can't be knocked off the track.

Now the civilians are feverishly whispering words of encouragement to him, to keep it up, while the local vigilante family fights the Joker.

Why, oh why, did he think that going on vacation in Gotham was a good idea?

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #first thing danny does when they're all rescued to is ask the civilians to not blab that it was him with the ice #that he's not ready to tell his parents yet #gothamites are just like #“awww poor baby isn't out of the closet of course we can lie to the police don't you worry” #Batman is just impressed because he knows the kid has definitely got Mechanical Engineering skills #from how the ice was targeting certain areas #quietly making plans to the side on his phone for Wayne Enterprises to have a scholarship set aside for this kid #lmfao danny u ain't escaping gotham that easy

[bleakbluejay]

you motherfuckers have no concept of what "land back" or "decolonize" even mean. you're too busy demonizing entire groups of people, terrified, shitting yourselves, that they'll do even half of the horrors to you that you've done to them for decades or centuries. this shit comes off as hella racist for real. you hate arabs so much. you hate first nations people so much. you hate black people so much. even if you sympathize with them, you can't fucking bear the idea of them gaining freedom, independence, autonomy, safety, because you're so, so scared they'll hurt you back and cause chaos in the streets. these same people who just want to rebuild. who just want to go home. who just want to see their families again. who just want food. who just want medical care. who just want dry, warm shelter. you're so focused on the ideas of colonization, of "us vs. them", of one people displacing the other for a state to exist, that you cannot comprehend coexistence, and your only idea of peace is if an entire group of people were just gone and dead.

grow the fuck up. for the love of GOD, grow the fuck up.

#eli talks #rant #i just watched a video shared by someone i'd been following a while denying the genocide occuring in gaza entirely #are you kidding. are you fucking kidding me. #the video was trying to run with the idea that “from the river to the sea” means jewish people will be expelled from the region #no the fuck it does not you stupid motherfucker that's NOT what decolonization is #anyway. land back. decolonize. from the river to the sea. peace and love on planet earth. #stop razing olive trees. stop scorching the earth. stop bombing hospitals and schools. stop destroying the sea. #if i have to see another palestinian child undergo anesthesia-free amputation im going to start being physically fucking violent #if i have to see another mother with blood on her hands wailing and begging for her child to come back im going to start burning shit #one day all the people of palestine will be free. muslims and jews and christians and all and none. #one day all the people of sudan will be free. all the people in the congo will be free. all the peoples in the americas will be free. #and all the other occupied places suffering genocides and ethnic cleansings that the news neglects to mention. theyll be free too.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce and Clark start dating and Clark finds himself spending more time around the batkids and whenever he's losing an argument he just says "yeah? well I fucked your dad."

It's very effective.

#it deals instant psychic damage #the kids still have not found a good response #clark tries not to be a petty person but he does enjoy the intense reactions his words evoke #it's especially effective on damian who can't even argue that bruce isn't technically his dad #tim tried 'well i fucked your son' once but it just doesn't have the same impact #batman #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #superbat #dc #dc comics #mine #batfam

[tenowls]

teacher getou au...... wauh

#jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo satoru #itadori yuuji #kugisaki nobara #fushiguro megumi #teacher getou au #satosugu #fanart #very funny how gojo leaves both yuuji and yuuta on their first mission hssdjshjdd #i know hes technically watching but. these kids do not know anything abt jujutsu at that point and theyre also KIDS. worst teacher HKSDKSD #anyway. been trying to look for fics but haven’t been able to find one i wanna read so i was like ok I’ll do it myself #however i am not a good writer so. DRAWINGS OF RANDOM LITTLE SCENES WILL HAVE TO DO #i want a plot focused fic w a side of shipping…. blease if anyone out there has any recs #as in like. the shipping written in a way that’s relevant to the plot #i want to see the rammies explored. yknowyknow #what happened differently in the aftermath of rikos death to make getou want to be a teacher instead #how is jjk0 different without him as the main antagonist and who does kenjaku take as a host #how does shibuya play out #how are both he and gojo different as characters #having grown up into adulthood together #getou as gojo’s moral compass etc #YKNOWYKNOW #i am aware that to explore all of that would be a monster of a fic which is probably why it does not exist (to my knowledge) but #IF THERES ANY FICS OUT THERE THAT EXPLORE EVEN SOME OF IT. PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY #EVEN A FUN LITTLE CASEFIC WHERE THEY GO ON A QUICK MISSION OR SMTH #AS LONG AS THERES PLOT #another theoretical fic i would like to read is canonverse post-shibuya but like with a plot that makes sense #jjk my favourite mediocre shounen battle manga. could be so much better. has anyone attempted this #that one post thats like im not a hater im a dismayer. thats me

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny may be a Ghost Baby who feels like an Anicent, but his friends don't.

SO, we all know the Ghost Baby Headcanon by now right? The idea that Danny is literally a Toddler by Ghost Standards, but because of how powerful he is everybody else believes that he is an Ancient or a God who is hogging the Mortal World to himself.

But what about his friends?

They were right there when the Portal opened. No Hazmat Suits, no Cover, no Protection from the Dimension of Pure Energy that had just been opened right in front of them.

That has to have some kind of Side Effects!

And actually, we do know of a Character who was just standing in front of a Portal when it opened and still got affected by it. Vlad.

While Danny was turned into a Halfa instantly, his friends would be more similar to Vlad in that they are slow to transform.

It takes weeks, but eventually they become mini-halfas themselves. Except they didn't have an entire Dimension of energy pushed into them upon fully forming, so their Ecto-Signatures actually feel like the babies they are supposed to be.

So imagine this from the Ghosts perspective.

They meet this guy called Phantom, a Halfa who is Extremely Powerful, but nobody has seen him in centuries. He was known as a very powerful Protector Spirit for millennia, randomly showing up across history, but always helping others. And then he just vanished one day, not seen again for centuries.

Until recently, when he showed in the Mortal World, stopping any other Ghost from fulfilling their Obsessions with Humans. And by his side are 2 smaller Halfa's that feel like they must have barely formed. You can see where this is going.

They think Sam and Tucker are Danny's children.

It makes sense! A Powerful Ancient, known for protecting people, suddenly disappears for centuries and then shows up again with 2 baby Halfa's in tow? That sounds like a Protector Spirit who lost his will to fight, decided to settled down in the Mortal Realm, and then found out that 2 baby Halfa's were formed when a Portal was opened!

He isn't selfishly holding the Mortal Realm to himself! He's protecting the Fledgling Haunt of his 2 Babies! They must still have living Family, that's why he is so adamant that they don't hurt the Civilains in their battles!

Now they just feel like assholes for attacking the Baby's dad when he was just trying to protect their stuff.

Danny finds this both extremely infuriating, and also agonizingly hilarious.

#Dp x dc #Dpxdc #Dc x dp #Dcxdp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Baby Ghosts #Danny feels like an Ancient #Halfa Sam #Halfa Tucker #They must have been affected by the Portal in SOME way #Either they actually are Halfa's or they are just Liminals on the verge of metamorphosis into Ghosts #They are still Babies in both a Ghost and a Liminal perspective though #Danny is a Baby Ghost #They Ghosts feel bad now #(Also why does Phantom let his kids hang out with the Ghost Hunters son?) #(Not to he gossiping or anything but he seems like a bad influence) #When Ellie shows up they think Danny had a full on Ghost Baby instead of just Adopting like before #Danny finds this hilarious #He sets up playdates with Box Lunch #Much to Sam and Tucker's dismay #They do have fun though #Not that they'll admit it

[beybuniki]

the bakugos

#they know when their silly beast needs a hug #also I know katsuki (sorry) most likely has a permanent scar or damage on his right eye but what if he smiles like that because that’s how #his father smiles huh!!!!!!!! Would be so cute to me I love when kids have their parent’s smile :) esp when it’s an eye smile itsssooooo #I love genetics #anyway bakugo is blessed for real why does he have bisexual parentsssss

[chamerionwrites]

Possibly The most surprising thing I have discovered on the internet is the number of people who will unironically refer to others as "degenerates" without expecting anyone reading this to immediately assume that they are a straight-up fascist

#i don't mean the actual nazis though alas there are an eye-opening number of those on the internet too #i mean the 19yo purity wankers who will vaguely gesture at lefty talking points while freely tossing around 'degenerate' as an insult #apparently without recognizing that this sets off like 1000 warning sirens for anyone w the slightest familiarity w fascist rhetoric #bonus points if they actually use the phrase ''degenerate art'' #genuinely i have spent my entire internet life immediately blocking anyone who does this on the assumption they are an Actual Nazi #only to discover an alarming number of Kids These Days doing it????? to a point i don't think it can just be undercover fash????? #obviously the purity wank is itself concerning regardless of what political talking points they have learned to parrot but i just. #the multiple overlapping layers of accidentally-right-wing lack of self awareness are. TRULY incredible to witness. #my posts

[hinamie]

nanami i respect u so much,

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #nanami kento #nanami #fanart #jjk fanart #the lack of nanami art i have produced is quite frankly criminal #heres 4 to meet my quota #does he smoke? judging by his voice probably #also....aes..............so its ok #dont smoke kids

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 261

“So is no one going to talk about the eldritch space child or…” 

“I mean, do you want to get between a child and Batman? I think the only one who could even get close right now is Superman…” 

“No you’re right, I think- oh my god the eldritch space child is playing with batman’s bat-ears and he’s not doing anything about it what the fuck I thought only Robins could get away with that-” 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Alfred is Clockwork #AndCW having adopted Danny means Danny gets to meet his new big brother from another timeline #Bruce (Once Alfred confirms) is absolutely attached within moments #Autistic bois unite & talk for hours about hyperfixations #Clark has had time to make an entire homemade pie at this point #No Danny isn’t ghost king nor is Clockwork Cronus #Bruce: I have only had a baby brother for 5 hours but if anything happens to him I will let my kids break all the rules & kill everyone her #Signal: Yeah definitely Alfred’s he glows like him and everything #The rest of the bats: Alfred does what now- #Danny with dozens of big star eyes to Bruce: How would you feel about sisters #Bruce holding 3 children & 1 young adult: I am big brother now #Alfred scathingly says that Someone in the family *cough Jazz cough* will at least finish college & get their degree #Sometimes CW enjoys turning off his future-vision and vibing as a mostly-mortal #And Gotham is an old war buddy of his (Yes Gotham is the city equivalent of an Ancient) from the [Redacted] era of the Realms #And xer son & daughter are adorable- Bludhaven & Arkham love the vigilantes lots

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i lose 80% of respect for a movie the moment a female protagonist wakes up in bed with artfully tousled hair and a full face of unsmudged makeup what is that mcfuckery

#don't care how good the movie was up until that point #the director clearly has no meaningful grip on human reality #maybe i'll finish the movie but from this moment on i am watching a grown man playing with dolls in a sandbox #which is actually a bit insulting to kids as metaphors go #bc i've MET kids who have way more empathy for their dolls than this man apparently does to his female characters #who the FLIP gave this man a 50 million dollar budget. he has never met a woman

[chrisbangz]

BANG CHAN ✦ GET LIT 4TH FANMEETING (240331) © babystaypretty

#bang chan #stray kids #bystay #createskz #staydaily #channiesnet #*mine #l.gif #dreamytag #melontrack #usersemily #userlau #usersa #usertsu #4th fanmeeting #flashing tw #1k #i do not wanna talk abt the coloring... #i've hated almost every gif i've made from the beyond live footage #and if i have to scrap another set imma go insane lol #so here's smth from my bookmarks #this is my fav outfit by far i can't stop thinking abt it #and this choreo...he does it so well🧎‍♀️