#Christoper Strong

[dinogoose]

but this is getting good now

“Bucky… Psst… Wake up…” small hands are currently shaking him back and forth, jostling him awake. He immediately knows it’s Christopher, and despite being woken up so early, he warms with pure happiness.

He cracks an eye open, “What’s up buddy? Is something wrong?” Chris sits down on the edge of the couch, nestling into his warmth.

“…My leg hurts.” Hearing the way his voice trembles in pain causes Buck’s heart to crack. He wishes he could take any and all hurt away from Christopher.

(or, buck and christopher stretch, then make pancakes. eddie is in love.)

“Bucky… Psst… Wake up…” small hands are currently shaking him back and forth, jostling him awake. He immediately knows it’s Christopher, and despite being woken up so early, he warms with pure happiness.

He cracks an eye open, “What’s up buddy? Is something wrong?” Chris sits down on the edge of the couch, nestling into his warmth.

“…My leg hurts.” Hearing the way his voice trembles in pain causes Buck’s heart to crack. He wishes he could take any and all hurt away from Christopher.

Another part of him is glad Chris is coming to him about this. Buck had told him he was always going to be there for him, and he meant it. Buck would do anything for Chris.

“Okay. Sometimes my leg hurts too, the doctors told me the best thing to do is to stretch it out.” He turns to the boy meeting his eyes. “Do you want to do some stretches with me?”

Chris looks down at his hands before looking up, his eyes crinkled with sleep, his movements a little shy, then he nods.

Buck smiles, untangling himself from the couch that has been trying to swallow him whole all night. Standing up, his legs giving a loud pop! Chris giggles at the noise, some of his anxieties seeping out.

It’s never wrecking asking for help, but Buck wants to make it clear to Chris that he always can. No matter the time or reason. Buck’s there for him.

“Alright kid, I’m gonna move this table over, giving us more room to really loosen our bodies!” Buck wiggles around as he’s saying this, drawing peels of laughter from Chris.

He’s now aware that it's roughly five-thirty, and Eddie is still asleep after their long shift, so he carefully moves over to Christopher, pressing a finger to his own lips.

“Let’s play a game, whoever can do the stretches the quietest, gets ice cream today.” Chris mulls this over, stroking his chin in thought.

“Two scoops.” Buck opens his mouth to respond, “In a cone.” Buck loves the kid to death, but give him an ice cream cone and he becomes a monster of destruction. Buck chuckles, extending a hand out.

“You drive a hard bargain. Deal.” They shake on it, causing Christoper to laugh again, but Buck presses a finger to his lips and Christopher nods, understanding the game they are now playing.

Buck slides the coffee table over, mindful of his noise.

He sits down on the floor, patting the spot next to him. Christopher sits next to him.

They begin the list of stretches Christopher’s physical therapist gave to him. Hamstrings, wrists, his heel cord, quadriceps.

Buck does each of them with him, coaching Christopher through them, easing any pain or discomfort he has.

By the end of it, they’re both hungry, but feeling much better.

“I think that earned us pancakes.” Buck announces getting up. Chris reaches out a hand, allowing Buck to help him up.

“Thanks B-Buck. I feel super strong now!” Buck smirks at him, ruffling his hair.

“You’re the strongest person I know, Superman.” It’s the truest thing Buck has ever said. This kid is incredible, and Buck’s just lucky he met him at all.

“Come on Bucky, I’m hungry!” He whines, and Buck just laughs trotting into the kitchen.

He’s very comfortable in the Diaz’ home, especially the kitchen. It’s more his than Eddie’s these days.

He gets all his ingredients out as his Sous Chef bullies him for being slow. He’s whisking the batter, when footsteps pitter-patter behind him.

“Sleeping beauty is awake!” Buck exclaims, not even turning around. Christopher throws his head back in laughter earning the reaction Buck was hoping for.

The man behind him makes an offended noise as he steps closer.

“Why do you two have so much energy this morning?” Eddie rasps out, voice deep in a way that gives Buck butterflies.

“My leg hurt so me and Buck did stretches!” Chris tells his dad, kicking his feet from his spot on the counter.

“I’m glad you did your stretches, are you feeling better now mijo?” Worry bleeds into his words, a father caring for his son.

“Yeah! We’re gonna get ice cream!” Buck just knows Eddie raises his eyebrows at that. He can practically feel the burn of his stare.

“Are we now?” Chris rolls his eyes from beside Buck, making him laugh.

“Yes.” And that’s that. They’re getting ice cream.

“Sorry Eds. You know how it is.” Buck tells him, finally turning around.

Eddie’s gaze is way too intense for seven in the morning. Buck has to look away before it melts him.

“Yeah. I do.” Eddie says. The words whispered out- a confession. Buck feels wrong-footed, like he’s missing a major part of this conversation. And from the way Eddie is looking at him he’s sure he is. Maybe he blacked out.

“Eddie, can you set the table?” Buck asks, turning around again, facing the stove, escaping Eddie’s eyes.

***

He finishes cooking and they enjoy laughter and pancakes, before Chris has to get ready for school.

Buck cleans while Eddie rallies the boy into the car.

It’s incredibly domestic. Maybe Buck is getting too comfortable, falling into the ‘ready-made family’ thing that Eddie was so terrified of.

Buck should take a step back. He doesn’t want to hurt Eddie by overstepping. By being too needy.

He sighs, scrubbing away at the pan. He always hand washes the non-stick pans, believing it helps them last longer. Buck wants to give them that extra care. Plus doing the dishes has always soothed Buck.

The repetitive motions, the warm water, the feeling of success when you finally finish.

He’s so focused on his task he doesn’t hear the door open. Or the sound of Eddie toeing-off his shoes. Doesn’t even acknowledge the man until he’s sliding up behind him, breath fanning Buck’s neck.

Buck shivers, setting the pan down. He steps to the side- not wanting to give himself the chance to do something stupid.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asks, head tilted. None the wiser to Buck’s panic.

“Nothing. I should go, I’ve been overstaying my welcome.” Buck doesn’t want to suffocate Eddie. Exhaust the man just by being him.

“Overstaying? Buck you could never ‘overstay’. You’re always welcome here.” Eddie steps closer, hand placed on Buck’s shoulder, giving the blond a strange sense of deja-vu.

His eyes are intense again, reflecting the same emotions they were earlier. Buck still doesn’t know what to make of that.

“Thanks Eddie- it’s fine, I should leave already.” He tries to back away, but Eddie’s hand remains firm, holding him down.

“Buck. I want you to stay.” Buck’s eyes scour his face for any sign of a lie. He finds none.

“Okay.” Buck thinks there’s a lot more to this talk then just him saying, and when Eddie leans forward Buck knows he's right.

“I’m going to kiss you.” Eddie tells him, face inches from Buck’s.

“Okay.”

Eddie cups Buck’s jaw before leaning in, head tilted to get the best angle. When their lips finally meet, it’s perfect.

Buck has imagined this moment a million times- although the real thing is greater than anything he could’ve ever thought up.

It’s fiery, it’s soft, it’s emotional, it’s love.

Love has always felt like, Eddie bumping shoulders with him. Smelled like aftershave and pine. Looked like brown eyes and brown hair. Tastes like pancakes in the morning.

Eddie backs up, not going far, just resting his forehead on Buck’s.

“You got up and did stretches with my- our kid this morning.” Eddie whispers, his voice reverent. Buck blinks.

“..yeah?” This makes Eddie laugh, tickling Buck’s face.

“Then you made us breakfast.” Buck is getting a little concerned.

“Yes. Are you okay?” Eddie laughs again, the sound bright.

“Yes. God- yes. I love you.”

Oh.

“I love you too.” Has it always been this easy?

Eddie just leans in for another kiss, just a soft press of his lips to Buck’s.

“And I forgive you for promising Chris two scoops on a school night.” Eddie says right against his mouth.

Buck has never been happier.

(I quit whumptober. sorry. I’m never going to change. :])

#buddie fic #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #911 show #911 fox #911 fic #911 fanfic #tv: 911 #buddie 911 #buck x eddie #originally posted on ao3

[chirp-a-chirp]

Court of Darkness Character Analysis - Lance Ira

Lance: The Prince of Ember and Flame

Sin: Wrath

Story Tropes Represented: Bad boy with a good heart; lone wolf; misunderstood loner; parent loss

Folks who might be interested? @aide-falls @abugwritesstuff @shinonometrash @sallylovessweets @jaysquid @voltagefandomproject @marsipanic

Book one Lance spoilers below. Also, this is just my interpretation/analysis for Lance. It may differ from yours—let me know your thoughts!

Any direct quotes from Lance’s book one or events are in italics. 

…

Analysis: Lance is hot. Really hot.

Analysis complete. 

OK, jokes aside…who is Lance—a lone wolf, a resentful prince, a truant who scares most people away? 

At his core, Lance is man defined by loss—his mother, his best friend Lutz, the freedom to live the life he wants—and the accompanying anger that comes with it. Lance does not exhibit the classic physical signs of anger—flailing fists, face turning red, punching walls. He will not turn wild with rage in most circumstances. Lance would not want to give his father the pleasure of his anger manifesting like this. These overt signs of wrath are a reminder of Ira’s ancient magic that Lance despises so much. Instead, Lance’s wrath is internal, directed at himself. 

When we first meet Lance in his book one, loss and grief consume him—he blames himself for not noticing his mother’s illness, for Lutz taking the fatal blow from the automata meant for him. This grief keeps him stuck, idling in frustration and resentment. The deaths of his mother and best friend burn like embers within the ashes of hate he has for Ira. Those embers smolder, burning just as bright as the fire that created them. When Lance encounters Lutz’s brother on Colde, he is confronted by the past he runs from. He says to himself: What have I done these many years? Why have I burned with such loathing and frustration? And for what? To what end?  

Of the seven Saligian princes, Lance is the most resentful of his royal status. He describes that status, of [being] bound by the kingdom of your birth… [as] a heap of unicorn dung…shackled to a specific path. He was born a commoner, grew up in humble circumstances, unaware of his royal blood for years. His father, King Addis, is not in his life until his mother passes and Lance is old enough to be a useful tool. Lance has no patience for governmental intrigues, being a political pawn, or becoming a symbol of his country; he makes these thoughts painfully transparent to those around him. It is perhaps why Lance has the most modern sensibilities of all the princes. His value of individualism (for himself and others that seek it) is at odds with monarchy at large.  

Lance is a fierce protector of freedom. Every prince but Lance has a familiar—an animal with a dependent bond with that prince, bound to him by servile magic. Lance has a wolf companion—Grushia—whom he is close with through a natural bond, one without magic. They are free to leave when they choose, but both remain close to the other. It is that freedom of choice that makes their bond strong.

In Lance’s book one, when he brings food and supplies to the boy Christop (instead of going to class), he remarks to himself:

There are more important things in this world than learning how to be a king. For now, I’d rather focus on protecting those bound by their circumstances in life. 

Lance himself appears listless and reckless but is purposeful with his intentions for those he cares for. When watching over Christoph in his book one, Lance thinks—There’s no such thing as too careful when it comes to Chris; I don’t wish for him to become as I have. He ought to live as he likes, not be imprisoned because of how he came to be. He is someone who will defend those with limited choices who cannot defend themselves (Christop being pursued by Irithium), or those who do not have an advocate in their corner (Iran people living in the countryside). Academy lessons with Lou and political showboating with King Addis have little purpose to Lance—practical experience, meaningful connections with people, will show Lance the value of being a future king.  

There are Saligian princes like Guy that are princes for their kingdom—for Guy, what is best for Avari is best for everyone; individuals can be sacrificed for the good of the country. Lance is a prince of the people—further, he is of the people. While princes like Roy and Rio make a conscious effort to listen to and understand their subjects, Lance has directly experienced the life of a commoner, having lived their everyday plight. 

Lance will not be a king for the kingdom and the nobility running it. He scorns Iran politics for prioritizing military might over advancements in healing and helping Iran’s rural communities, resulting in the deaths of his loved ones. This hatred is so strong that it burns beyond recognition. In the Unbreakable event story, Lance describes his feelings towards Ira, and the entire military megalomaniac foundation upon which the country is built on, as so consuming that he’d burned himself to cinders out of concern for his country—all that is left is sympathy for the people that remain in Ira and the memories of those that he has lost. In his book one, Lance’s anger at Ira is equally powerful—One by one this kingdom called Ira has stolen everything important to me. What else must it take from me before it’s satisfied.   

But, just as fire can burn and overwhelm, it can also provide warmth and light the way. The individuals who have been closest to Lance in his life—his mother, Lutz, Christop, MC, Zenu—he describes as sources of optimism and warmth. Lots of light imagery is used to describe these people within Lance’s book one and various event stories. The MC reminds Lance of his mother—a woman who’s smile is comforting like a nap taken beneath the dappled sunlight of a forest; in Lance’s Magic ending, he describes MC as ethereally beautiful and so, so bright; while alive, Lutz was like the sun in miniature.

Lance turned away from sources of light after his mother’s and Lutz’s deaths—to invite light was to invite heartbreak and darkness if that light were taken away. But, his relationship with the MC changes that perspective.

The MC is relentless in her spirit and optimism—tragedy, difficulties, failures do not stop her; they fuel her drive to succeed. This approach is fundamentally different to how Lance has, up until meeting her, approached life for many years. And given their shared background—the loss of a parent, being forced to remain on Colde—it gives Lance pause. Lance cannot easily dismiss the MC given their shared experiences.   

When Lance is with the MC, his memories of his mother and Lutz become more positive. He describes their memories, in one event, as points of light, carrying hope that there is good left in his kingdom. While their memories still provoke anger, they also serve as fuel steeling Lance’s resolve, lighting his path, carrying him to conviction to change Ira for their sake.   

The MC provides a balm to Lance’s soul, an energy that nurtures, encourages, and empowers. She guides Lance forward, a steady bright presence that urges him to think beyond his past and into the future. The MC and Lance have among the most egalitarian relationships in the game—they describe each other as accomplices, partners, compatriots. They seek one another’s company equally, being open and transparent about their feelings, whether good or bad. This equality happens, in part, because Lance gets to know MC as a person before he knows of her powers. More than any other consort path, Lance allows for MC to truly grieve for the loss of her parents—Lance understands that the death of a beloved parent is not something easily forgotten or dismissed; it lingers, festers, unless that grief is expressed. 

When Lance is with the MC, a different fire consumes him. He describes his love her for as an ever growing thing, one where he melts at her smile, his heart burning for her, every part of him feeling as if on fire. In his magic ending, he says to love is to risk suffering; but to be loved is the great happiness there is. It is also one of the few consort book one endings (maybe the only one) where the MC is given something tangible to represent his love for her—a promise ring—perhaps an unconscious callback to the Iran quartz talisman his mother gave him as a child. Pretty words are not enough to show his love to those he cares for. He is someone who comes off as callous and cold, but probe deeper and you’ll find a man with layers of hidden kindness, a person dedicated to helping others, someone who, ultimately, becomes motivated by the memory of those he has lost. 

He is Lance—the man of ember and flame. 

#court of darkness #court of darkness voltage #otome game #lance ira #tropes #character analysis #character archetypes #voltage otome #voltage games #it took me a bit due to various distractions in real life but finally the first CoD character analysis is done!

[phillipschevrolet]

Chevy Blazer Wins Strategic Vision Quality Award

Since it’s reintroduction for the 2019 model year, the Chevy Blazer has been turning heads and winning awards. We are pleased to announce that the Blazer can add a new award to the trophy case as the recipient of market research firm Strategic Vision’s 2023 Total Quality Impact award in the midsize crossover category. Results are based on surveys of recent vehicle buyers to determine how many problems they have experienced wit their new vehicles. Winners are the vehicles that had the fewest owner-reported issues. “The Chevrolet Blazer not only has the fewest incidences of problems, but also provides strong exterior styling and driving performance resulting in the most fun-to-drive vehicle that they can trust in its segment.” Strategic Vision Senior Vice President Christoper Chaney stated. “This is the right combination, giving owners of these vehicles the highest sense of quality.” Phillips Chevrolet of Frankfort, Lansing, and Bradley has Illinois’ Largest Chevy Inventory including a great selection of award-winning Blazers in stock now!

[denimbex1986]

'Oppenheimer has scored a huge opening weekend for director Christopher Nolan. The movie, which is his first since his 2020 science fiction epic Tenet, opened in theaters on July 21. Boasting a huge ensemble cast that includes Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Robert Downey Jr., Gary Oldman, and many more, it follows the life of physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer (Murphy) and the creation of the atomic bomb.

Per THR, the Oppenheimer box office has raked in a dazzling opening weekend domestic gross of $80.5 million. While this still led the movie to open at No. 2 behind the smash hit Barbie, it is the best opening weekend for a Christoper Nolan movie outside of The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. It beat the opening weekends of his previous hits Interstellar ($47.5 million) and Inception ($62.7 million) by a considerable margin.

Why Is Oppenheimer Doing So Well?

One curious thing about Oppenheimer’s blockbuster success is the fact that it doesn’t necessarily seem like a strong commercial prospect. A biopic about a physicist that is nearly three hours long and features many sequences shot in black-and-white isn't necessarily a guaranteed summer blockbuster. However, there are quite a few factors that helped it rise to the top of Nolan's filmography.

The first, and likely most important, factor in its success is the release of Barbie. While the Barbie box office trumped Oppenheimer's gross with an opening weekend north of $150 million, the fact that both movies were released on the same weekend led to a cavalcade of memes mashing up the diametrically opposed titles, which helped boost publicity for both. Oppenheimer was presented as either counterprogramming to or a perfect double feature with Barbie, allowing it to succeed in a way it might not have if it was the weekend's sole release.

Oppenheimer also succeeded thanks to Nolan himself. The director has become a huge brand name on his own merits, whether or not he is working with an established IP like he did with the Dark Knight trilogy. Thanks to his penchant for epic high-concept movies with A-list ensemble casts, his approach to the life of Oppenheimer likely intrigued more audience members than a straightforward biopic would have if it was helmed by another director.'

#Christopher Nolan #Oppenheimer #Barbie #The Dark Knight Trilogy #Tenet #Cillian Murphy #Emily Blunt #Matt Damon #Robert Downey Jr. #Gary Oldman #Interstellar #Inception

[fieldtrothoughts]

I decided to log my dreams when I have them here. They won’t form coherent stories and may be just scenes I remember. If there are people I know that appear in them, I will indicate with the letter of their first name.

22 March 2023

I’m in this snowy district area that you’d see in Canada maybe. There’s an elementary school surrounded by a thin forest with a bus stop in front of a large road, sweeping onto the left side of the school. From the other side of the road, there’s two people. One who looks like those eboys is talking about something to the other. I think it was them boasting about something? And they’re both sitting in a lone hot tub. I don’t know if it’s actually empty or not.

At the same time, in the school there seems to be something going on in the gymnasium. A game or performance taking place. And in there is Harrison Wells from The Flash CW series. Or maybe just someone who looks Tom Cavanagh. He’s important because he shows up in a dream that I feel like I had prior so think of this as a sequel.

I myself approach the two talking with a friend. They don’t seem to notice us and my friend seems to get sick of the constant boasting. The details get muddy here but we seem to appear in an old abandoned house. The other two following us still talking.

The abandoned house is only a single story, with extremely small rooms that almost seem to twist with tight corridors. The walls are deteriorating and the blinding light of the winter pierces through small cracks. I recall going through a small dining area and then into a small room. And that’s it. Everyone is gone. I leave the area and take and the bus back to the school.

While this occurs, Harrison Wells notices that the performance is going weirdly. A line of schoolgirls or cheerleaders forms in front of those glass cases that house trophies and what not. They begin leaping into it. One after the other, regardless of the bleeding they continue with inhuman smiles. No one else thinks this is strange. Harrison comes down from the bleachers and follows them. Also leaping through the newly formed hole like that scene of Christoper Walken coming out of an elevator and leaping off the balcony.

The other side is the outside of the school. Although the architecture wouldn’t suggest it. Regardless, Harrison seems to have a grasp on the situation and immediately tries to find me.

I return to the school. And then the next scene plays.

For this part, I’ll be less detailed since I regularly see the layout of my house. I’m in my house with one friend (K) who I can recall and another who I can’t. There’s no one else home but us. It’s night or right after the sunset and there’s a storm that’s brewing or going strong. The same strange occurrences were happening again (from a previous dream) where something or someone was trying to kill us. And it seemed like we were waiting for Harrison to come back. Some time passed in the house until my friend noticed an eye peering through the window of my dad’s office. The entire wall that faced the front of the house was torn out with the open air gushing in. The right front door was caught by the massive claws of the beast.

This beast looked like Ridley from Metroid and was guarding the front exit of the house. They didn’t move in to kill us or anything. Just waited. I ran to the laundry room that connects into the garage on the other side of the house. There was something there too. I couldn’t remember what.

We ran upstairs and peered down from the balcony into the first floor. We heard someone enter the house. They were unpacking their bag on the dining table below It was H. He either entered from the front or back I don’t know but he didn’t see the strange occurrences we could. Not the massive Ridley in front of the house or the noticeable torn or even the thing that was in the garage.

K told H it was because we were “something that started with A”, a term originating from India. Something akin to children of god. (K does say the term, I just don’t remember what it was). We return downstairs to speak with H. Some time passed and I noticed a dinosaur washing the dishes. I wasn’t afraid and greeted them because they were my friend. I asked her if she noticed the same occurrences but she said she didn’t.

And then I woke up.

#dreams #memory

[dishearteningmediocrity]

From Picturegoer Weekly, July 29, 1933

Transcript follows:

“The Woman Who Thrilled Me, by Colin Clive”

In an interview with John Gliddon

It has become a Hollywood habit to send an urgent message to Colin Clive asking him to jump on the next boat for a rush journey to Los Angeles.

It has happened once a year since his first spectacular dash to Universal City to play his original part of Captain Stanhope in Journey’s End.

Now Colin is wise in the ways of Hollywood and has become an expert at packing his bags and leaving England at less than twenty-four hours’ notice; he packed in a hurry to star in Frankenstein: he did it again when Hollywood wanted him as Katharine Hepburn’s leading man in Christopher Strong.

That time he had two big thrills--meeting Katharine Hepburn, the Star Who Can Act, and finding out at first hand what it feels like to be in a Hollywood earthquake.

Let’s hear what Colin has to say about the Hepburn thrill before the earthquake is staged; but let me warn you about one thing. Colin Clive is one of those grand fellows who Hates Being Interviewed; he thinks going to the dentist is much better fun.

Maybe he is right. When I explained to him that we might just as well have a chat about Hollywood and not call it an interview, he brightened up a whole lot and ordered another drink.

Said Colin Clive in enthusiastic tones: “Katharine Hepburn is a grand girl. She is certainly different. There is nobody quite like her in Hollywood--or anywhere else, for that matter. What is her appeal? Certainly not beauty; she isn’t beautiful in the least, yet she has a magnetic personality and terrific vitality.”

“Katharine has got something bigger than beauty; she has got brains and above all things she is an actress, to her finger-tips.

“She is not just--a face, but a great personality. I said just now that she is not beautiful; that is true, though she understands the art of acting so amazingly that she can convey the illusion of beauty if the situation demands it.

“When you get to know Katharine Hepburn you are impressed by her natural intelligence. She can talk; I don’t mean chatter the usual Hollywood gossip, but talk like the intelligent woman she is about interesting things that happen in the bigger world beyond the Hollywood circle.

“Few stars talk interestingly on any topic--except themselves, but Katharine Hepburn is the delightful exception.

“On the set, I was impressed by her powers of tremendous concentration. She likes to rehearse, and rehearse until she feels the scene is right, even though her director may be quite satisfied by the scene as it stands.

“No, she always seems to strive after perfection in her acting.

“I have never known a star to be as painstaking as Miss Hepburn.

“In Christopher Strong, we both had the novel experience of being directed by a woman--Dorothy Arzner.

“Miss Arzner is a clever technician, but it seemed a bit queer, at first, being told what to do--by a woman!

“I got used to it after awhile, though another thing that struck me as a bit strange, until I got over the shock, was that Dorothy Arzner never lost her temper. I suppose she leaves that privilege to the male directors. She is very reserved, very gentle, very clever, and she is an ‘ace’ for angles.”

When shooting on Christopher Strong finished, a bank crash hit Hollywood, and nobody was allowed to draw out any money.

Colin wanted to return home. He took his cheques to the bank, but the banks were closed, and he had to wait until they were re-opened. He waited a few weeks and was getting tired of kicking his heels round Hollywood when the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studio snapped him up for Service, the screen version of Dodie Smith’s play of shop life.

The only bright spot in those weeks of waiting for the banks to resume business were some happy week-ends with Elizabeth Allan and husband Bill O’Bryan.

This young couple have made a hit with Hollywood.

Then he told me about that other big thrill--the earthquake.

“I was sitting in my hotel room writing to Jeanne (Jeanne de Casalis, Mrs. Colin Clive), when suddenly the radio started to screech and the lights flickered. Then I heard a rumble, the house quivered, my books came tumbling down, and great cracks appeared on the ceiling.

“I rushed downstairs and out into the street. There was tremendous excitement. People looked scared. Two girls fainted just in front of me. For a few moments there was panic.

“Then, though it seemed longer at the time, a few seconds later it was all over. There followed a series of small shocks but I wasn’t taking any chances and went back to my room and stood in the archway of the open door. That is the safest place I was told to stand when an earthquake is on.

“Coming home, I dreamt about that ‘quake and woke up in my cabin, having forgotten I was safely at sea, and jumped out of bed to stand in the archway of the cabin.

“Then I woke up--properly, and realized it was only a dream. You see, they are nasty things--earthquakes!

I gave Colin Clive a minute or two to get the impression of that earthquake out of his mind before asking him to talk about two other interesting members of the cast of Service, Lionel Barrymore and Lewis Stone.

“I have never met an actor with less personal pride than Lionel Barrymore,” he told me. “He is an extraordinarily well-read and intelligent man. When he talks it is always about something worth while, though I think he likes sleeping better than anything else.

“I have seen Lionel Barrymore enjoying a sound sleep in his chair at the side of the ‘set,’ yet the instant his cue comes he is wide awake and ready for the ‘shot.’

“Lewis Stone is another very delightful man; in fact he is one of the nicest men I have ever met. Reserved, cultured, charming and courteous to everybody, he certainly seems to know all there is to know about picture acting, yet, with all his experience, he never questions his director, or make suggestions of his own about how the scene should be played.

“Lewis Stone always does what he is told, and how well he does it!

“It was certainly an interesting experience, playing in Service with such splendid actors as Lionel Barrymore and Lewis Stone, though--what pleased me most of all--was the knowledge that ‘Liz’ Allan is regarded as one of the most promising of all Hollywood’s younger stars.

“It’s a grand break for an English girl to win personal popularity in Hollywood. But ‘Liz’ Allan seems everybody’s favourite.”

At the end of Service, James Whale offered Colin Clive the leading part in The Invisible Man, but as it meant waiting two months for the picture to begin, Clive felt he could not accept, though the part appealed to him as being “down his street.”

Colin Clive gets a kick out of playing parts like his grim role in Frankenstein; he certainly does not see himself as a leading man or a romantic lover. He wants the strong stuff.

When Colin Clive is home in England you will have to look for him right in the heart of the country.

Somewhere in Kent, he and Jeanne de Casalis have a small cottage where they spend as much time as possible, winter or summer.

“I have no use for parties,” Colin said to me, “I never go to them, and the only life I really enjoy is away from London, pottering about in the garden at the cottage.

“I suppose it may sound a bit queer for a fellow to say that there is no spot on the earth to compare with England when you want the joy of the simple life. Well, I have yet to discover anything better than English country life.”

That is a true portrait of Colin Clive, the star Hollywood always wants--in a hurry.

#Colin Clive #Katharine Hepburn #1933 #Dorothy Arzner #Christoper Strong #Looking Forward #interview

[booksyoudidntknowyouneeded]

Guys. This book was amazing. I took me longer than usual to read. But it is honestly one of my top reads of 2020. And this was a year to be reading.

When Kira (a xenobiologist) comes

into contact with an unknown

bio suit, it sets off a chain of

events that no one could have

predicted. The story is an

excellent examinahon of humanity,

both good and bad. Not only that,

so much consideration is given to

The science of Space travel and

character motivations that this book

resonated and blended with the real

world perfectly! Paolini may have taken

years to get us this

book, but the wait was

absolutely worth it. This blends

the best aspects ot plot driven and

character driven Sciencc fiction

into a work of art. Not once

was the plot buried or were

characters out of line. My only

issue was the sheer number of

events occurring in this book.

There were many a time l had

to take breaks to properly absorb

recent plot points. Even so, each

event was clear and distinct

and they all added up to a

master piece of a story!

#book review #to sleep in a sea of stars #christoper paolini #read books #fight evil #scifibooks #epic book #adult debut #Kira is my new hero #I need a Salvo in my life #i am so happy #strong female characters #character driven #plot driven #perfectly balanced

[libraryofloveletters]

pools of honey and ocean blue

Eddie Diaz x Evan Buckley 

Warnings: mentions of loss of spouse, love confessions, lil awkwardness, alcohol and the consumption of. 

Category: Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 2.7k

Author’s note: I'll throw hands if any of you anything bad about Ana, she’s cool but I just wrote this, this way // @suburban--gothic this ones for you since I got you hooked <3

----- 

“I love you.” 

The sudden unprompted confession of love had caught everyone off guard. He sat across from him at the dinner table, the entire team now exchanging glances between Buck and Eddie.

The tension between Buck and Eddie was thick enough to cut with a knife, weighing heavy on their shoulders. His brown eyes staring straight into his blue ones. 

If looks could kill. 

Ana sat smiling beside Eddie, her brown eyes gleaming with hope, happiness, everything Eddie had been searching for these last few months. 

There were a couple issues at hand right now. 

Ana had just confessed her love for him, in front of the entire team. 

He hadn't heard those 3 words from anyone other than Christoper and his Abuela since Shannon. 

Eddie did care about her but she wasn't the one he was in love with. 

----

The day Eddie joined the 118, he felt like he belonged. Like he had finally found his place in the world and soon came to realize that everyone else there felt the same way, especially Buck- the golden boy. 

The same golden boy that had worked his way into his heart and into his life. 

Their first 24 hours together were absolute hell- they were in a constant state of competition, measuring god knows what but by the end of it, everyone could see that they were meant to be together, everyone but them of course. 

Months go by, Buck and Eddie are practically raising Christopher together with the help of Carla, Eddie’s abuela and his aunt. Eddie reaches out to Shannon to get Christoper into the new school he was looking into.

Buck would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel a hint of jealousy, especially when they took Christopher to see Santa and Eddie just casually mentioned that he slept with Shannon. 

Buck didn’t hold it against him, he gave him an answer and moved on. 

He didn’t really get a chance to get to know Shannon but from the little that he did know, he knew that she made them happy- both Eddie and Christoper and that’s all Buck could hope for because no matter how much he loved Eddie, he couldn’t bring himself to tell him, not while he was happy and still very much in love with her.

No matter how involved he was in Christoper’s life, he knew that he would never be her. 

Shannon was and will always be the mother of his child, the woman he loved until her last dying breath. 

He could never amount to what she was, even if she hadn't been around. 

Buck watched as Eddie grieves and lashed out at the world, he watched as Eddie’s recently found happiness fizzled out. Buck couldn't force Eddie to talk to him, he couldn't ask him what was going on until he did. 

A Saturday night being spent at the Diaz residence, the little one now tucked into bed when Eddie returned to the kitchen, Buck handing his friend a beer. The two men drank in silence until Buck asked him the question he was dreading to hear. 

“How are you?” 

“Fine.” 

The one word answer was the only thing he could manage to say without breaking down. Eddie held himself together, Christoper was relying on him and he knew that, if he wasn’t going to be strong for himself than he had to be for Chris. 

Buck knew him better than he thought, him being fine after what happened was 110% utter bullshit and everyone including Eddie knew that. 

“Just fine?” Buck pried, Eddie wanted to tell him everything- to break down and finally let it off his chest but he didn’t. Instead he nodded and repeated his answer, “fine.” 

The rest of the night was spent on the couch, the empty beer bottles scattered across the table along with a half eaten, disregarded bowl of chips. Eddie sighed as Buck scrolled through Netflix looking for something to watch. 

“She thought she was pregnant” Eddie mumbled, barely above a whisper. Buck almost missed what he said. 

He looked over at the brunette, his heart hurting for his friend. “Was she?” he whispers back an answer, afraid that if he said it louder that Eddie might break. 

Eddie shook his head, his shoulders hung as he leant forward. He was ready to talk but he couldn’t physically bring himself to look at him and say it. “The day she told me, I was ready to try again. The thought of having another child made me.. I don't know, I felt like things were starting to finally fall into place, you know?” 

A heavy sigh left his lips, Buck’s heart broke a million times over for Eddie- if he felt that way just hearing it, he couldn't imagine how Eddie felt. 

“I invited her out for dinner, to tell her that I wanted to try again but she said she wanted a divorce, and that she wasn't pregnant. I couldn’t wrap my head around it, how did we go from almost becoming a family to being strangers again?” Eddie leant back, sinking into the couch cushions. Buck’s brows furrowed, a slight pout on his lips, Eddie’s stomach turned. 

“Don’t.” he warns him, getting up off the couch. Eddie stood in front of Buck, his arms folded. Eddie’s expression was similar to that of his friend’s - furrowed brows but a scowl present rather than a pout. 

Buck watched his friend, the way his little forehead lines popped up whenever his brows furrowed. Eddie looked older, his youthfulness disappearing as the months passed by- it didn’t mean that he was any different. To Buck, Eddie was the handsomest man on the planet and nothing would change that. 

“Don’t what?” Buck’s expression softened, Eddie shook his head. “Don’t give me that look- don’t pity me. I’m fine.” Eddie spat, his words coming off harsh then intended. 

“I didn’t say you weren't” Buck answers, looking up at him. Eddie walked away, leaving him on the couch. It was a few moments before he heard Eddie’s bedroom door shut. He sighed, he knew he could stay and Eddie wouldn't say anything but he felt like he should go, it wasn't right. 

A folded piece of paper was left on the kitchen table, Eddie’s name scrawled onto it. 

‘Headed home, didn’t feel right to stay. Have all the space and time you need. If you and Chris are still up for it, we can go to the zoo tomorrow, if not it’s cool or maybe Chris and I can go by ourselves, give you the day to yourself. 

Let me know. 

Buck.’ 

----

“I love you” 

The 3 words ringing in his head, he could feel the eyes burning into him- his team all looking at him and at Buck. As well as Ana, who was looking at him for an answer and Athena who had just arrived from work and was looking toward everyone for an answer. 

He knew he had to answer her, it’d be weird if he didn’t. 

“Thanks” he mumbled, his attention back on his plate. 

Maybe he should have pretended he didn’t hear her instead. 

Chimney coughed as he choked on his water, he glanced at the man sitting across from him who gave him an apologetic look. Eddie’s answer caught everyone off guard- Hen’s brows raised, Bobby and Athena’s shifty glanced towards each other and to Buck, and Buck himself, the man whose ocean blue eyes were staring right back at his honey brown ones. 

Ana cleared her throat, Eddie looked at her. Her brows furrowed slightly but Eddie didn’t say anything. Ana knew what this meant- truthfully, she hadn't meant to say that but it just sort of slipped out. The relationship was still new and she didn’t want to scare him off. 

She also knew that Eddie wasn't in love with her, rather he was in love with the blonde man at the end of the table, the same man that was staring at her boyfriend. 

“Bobby,” Ana speaks up, “Thank you for having me but I'll be going now.” 

“Are you sure you can't stay for dessert ? I have brownies in the oven” he asks her with a smile on his face. 

“Thank you, but I can’t. I’ve got some paperwork that needs to be to the board by tomorrow. Maybe another time” she smiles at him and he nods. 

“Well thanks for joining us, it was nice to meet you.” 

Everyone watches as Ana gets up from the table, her hand placing on Eddie’s shoulder, letting him know that she’s leaving. “I’ll walk you out” he also gets up, his hand on her lower back as they make their way to the stairs. 

As soon as they reach the parking lot, she turns to him. “I’m sorry” they both say to each other at the same time. 

“What are you sorry for?” he asks her. If anyone was in the wrong, it was him. 

“For blurting out that I loved you in front of your entire team- especially when I know I'm not the one you’re in love with” a small smile on her lips, her hand patting his chest. 

“Ana-” Eddie was shocked, she knew? Of course she knew. She worked with children, children lie all the time, the fact that he thought she didn’t was stupid. 

“No, I know.” Ana sighs but smiles. “I never meant to hurt you” Eddie tells her, she can hear the sincerity in his voice. 

“I know that too- you can't help who you fall in love with, Edmundo. If it’s him, tell him.” She looks up at the man in front of her, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Her hand still against his chest, his hand now on top of her. 

She steps away, Eddie’s hand holding her back from moving further. He was looking at her like a lost puppy. 

“Him?” he questions, the one word coming off so dumbfounded. 

Ana chuckled at his obliviousness. “Buck- Everyone can see the way the two of you look at each other, everyone except you apparently” she chuckles once more. Eddie loosens his hold on her hand, she's now by her car with the door open. 

“Text me sometime, just cause this didn’t work doesn't mean we can't be friends” she flashes him a smile before getting in the car. Eddie watches as Ana pulls out of the parking lot, he even waves to her but her words catch him off guard. 

He stood in the middle of the parking lot, staring off into space. The sound of the alarm going off snapped him out of his empty thoughts. He ran back in, Buck coming down the stairs just as he re-enters the building. 

“You okay man ?” Buck stops at the bottom of the stairs, Eddie nods. “Yeah, I'm okay” he tells him, Buck pats his shoulder and runs off to get his gear. Eddie pauses for a moment before following Buck. 

---- 

7am. 

Shift doesn’t start until 9 but he couldn’t sleep.

Eddie paces through his house until he hears the knock on the door. He pulls the door open, partially hoping it’s Buck but is met with Carla instead. 

“Morning sugar” she steps in, Eddie hums and goes back to pacing. 

She shuts the door quietly, stepping past him and heads to the kitchen to make herself come coffee. 

“Is little man still sleeping?” she calls out to Eddie who’s now pacing by the entryway of the kitchen, he hums again. 

She had only been there for a few minutes but she already knows something’s on his mind. 

“Alright soldier, sit. Let’s talk” she takes a seat at the table, Eddie keeps pacing. Her look catches his glance, a pointed look with a brow raised- Eddie sits across from her. 

“What’s on your mind ?” she gets back up when the kettle goes off, making a cup of coffee for herself and a cup of tea for Eddie. Eddie sighs, his head resting flat on the table, “love sucks” he groans when he lifts his head back up. 

She laughs softly, “trouble with your girl ?” “not exactly” he looks up at her. She sits down again, waiting for Eddie to explain what he meant by that. “Ana let it slip that she loves me when we were at dinner with the team, I said thanks” he groaned once more. 

Carla bit the inside of her cheek, resisting the urge to laugh, “you said thanks ?” she asks, coughing to stifle a laugh. 

“I apologized to her and she said that I should tell him that I love him and not her” 

“Buck ?” she sips her coffee, Eddie was once again, shocked. 

“You know?” 

“Honey, I've known from the day I met you.” Eddie hums, seems that everyone realized but him. “She’s right though- you should tell him before it's too late. Life’s short Eddie.” 

Eddie sprung up from his seat, he rounded the table and cupped Carla’s face. “You’re right, you’re so right” he kisses her forehead before grabbing his keys, “I’ll be back in time for school!” he shouts on his face out the door. Carla laughed, the poor man was now realizing that he was in love after 4 years - better late than sorry. 

--- 

The door opens, Buck’s hair dishevelled and a pair of sweatpants hung on his waist. “Eddie ?” Buck blinks back the tiredness, it was clear that he only just woken up. 

“I love you” Eddie blurts out before he loses the courage to tell him. 

“Ed- What ?” Buck looked at his friend like he was a crazy person- although he had been waiting to hear those words, he was confused as to what brought on the sudden confession. 

Eddie pushed past Buck, stepping into the apartment. He paced for a moment  before turning to Buck, who was now leant against the closed door. 

“I love you and before you say anything, I know this is crazy” Eddie says, Buck hums, listening to him. 

“I’ve been in love with you for the last- god I don't even know. I’ve recently realized that the reason you’re always around is because I love you and so does Christopher but I just- everyone seems to see how in love we are and life is too short to not tell those you love that you love them. So here I am,” Eddie glances at the clock, “7:47 in the morning to tell you that I love you.” he sighs. It feels like a weight had been lifted off his chest. 

Buck studied the man in front of him, the same dishevelled hair from sleep, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, not exactly a typical ‘going out Eddie Diaz’ outfit. 

Buck smiled, stepping towards Eddie. “Did you roll out of bed and have that epiphany?” 

“um, not exactly. I was in the kitchen with Carla” he admits, Buck hums. “Do you have any idea how long I have been waiting to hear those words ?” he’s now in front of Eddie. 

“No, but I’m glad I said them” Eddie smiles, Buck’s hands cupping his face and his forehead rests against his. 

“Tell me again” Buck says, barely above a whisper. 

“I have the rest of my life to tell you” 

“You’re the one that said life is short” he smiles, Eddie rolls his eyes playfully. 

“I love you Buck” 

“And I love you Eddie. 

---- 

taglist: @mrs-dr-reid​ @dralexreid​ @onceuponagayship​ @yelenabelous​ @ickletheficklepickle​ 

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #911 #9 1 1 #911 fic #911 fanfic #9 1 1 fic #9 1 1 fanfiction #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #buddie fanfiction

[bytheangell]

Can I request some aro ace Christopher Lightwood in this trying time please? I love him too much pls don't judge me

Nothing to Fix (Read on AO3)

Christopher isn’t sure how much longer he can keep this up. He knows that his friends mean well, and the girls they keep setting him up on dates with are all, objectively, very lovely. He doesn’t mind the time he spends talking with them, even if there’s never a second date. And there’s never a second date. It takes him a few tries to pick up on why he doesn’t want a second date, because Matthew and the others ask him every time what went wrong and every time he doesn’t have an answer. Nothing went wrong. He just doesn’t want to.

That isn’t an answer the others accept, however - surely there has to be a reason, a cause, so Christopher tries again. And again.

There’s a certain pressure of expectation upon him now that James’ engagement to Cordelia brings the two of them closer together, Matthew continues to have his fair share of romantic trysts even if nothing is serious, and Thomas and Alastair admit to liking one another. Even Lucie seems to be sneaking out to meet with a boy, though she insists she isn’t whenever suspicions arise.

Christopher doesn’t feel left out, but it’s implied that he should - that he must be lying when he says he’s not interested and perfectly content at home with his experiments while the others are out. The idea that he’s genuinely disinterested is apparently so absurd that no one even humors it.

It takes Christopher a while to realize the simplicity of the truth, and even longer to accept it, in the face of being told he simply has to try again, try harder, or find some mystical ‘right person’ who will make everything fall into place.

Once he’s certain he’s entirely content with his life as it is, no romantic or physical attachments needed, he doesn’t hesitate to tell others as much when they ask. No, he doesn’t feel the drive to go out on his own to meet new people, he enjoys the friends he has very much. And no, he certainly doesn’t have the desire to attach himself to anyone romantically or physically. It’s never felt like something he needed, or even wanted, and certainly not something he’s missing out on.

If only he could convince everyone else to believe him.

As is the recently formed routine of these set-ups, Christopher makes his way back up to their room above the pub after it’s over, greeting the eager faces of his friends with a sheepish grin, a shrug, and a shake of his head. And, as is also routine, he watches their faces fall with a sense of disappointment he doesn’t share.

Now Matthew is giving him a quizzical up-and-down. “Is it the girls? Perhaps we could find you a nice guy to date? I may know a few who would go for the eccentric scientist thing...”

“I’d rather not,” Christopher admits. “Can we please just accept this isn’t going to happen and allow me to go back to normal?”

That’s what Christopher longs for - the days when no one thought he was ‘holding himself back’ by spending his free time as he wished.

“What are you talking about? This is perfectly normal,” Thomas insists.

“Yes, normal for you. Because these things have always mattered to the lot of you, and you pursued them. But they never have for me, and that hasn’t changed. The only thing that’s changed is everyone’s insistence that they should,” Christopher points out. And it’s so obvious to him, so simple, that he doesn’t understand why the others don’t see it.

He’s never gotten upset with them about it before because he knows they have the best of intentions and are only trying to do right by him… but maybe that’s why they haven’t taken him seriously when he tries to explain himself. Maybe if he gets a little upset about it they’ll realize how frustrated he’s getting.

So Christopher adds, more forcefully this time, “I simply don’ want it. And it’d be nice to not be treated like I’m something to be fixed because of it.”

And then they do see it. Christopher can pinpoint the exact moment his words seem to register with James first, then Thomas, then Matthew. He can tell because with that realization also comes an almost immediate look of shame or guilt from each of them as they also realize how uncomfortable Christopher’s been trying to fit a role he never wanted in the first place.

“You really meant it when you said you didn’t want to date,” Matthew says slowly.

“Of course I did, why else would I say it?” Christopher rolls his eyes.

“People lie to get out of things like dates all the time, just because meeting new people can be awkward, or intimidating,” Thomas points out, but there’s a small smile on his face. “But you’re not most people, and we should’ve known that.”

“Are you cross with us?” Matthew asks. “You know we just want you to be happy, we never meant for you to feel, like--” Matthew trails off, looking to the others for help when he isn’t quite sure what to say.

“-like you need to be fixed,” James fills in, echoing Christopher’s own words back, though he seems equally unsure of how to continue. “We didn’t realize… You know we never meant to-”

“I’m not mad,” Christopher cuts in to reassure the three of them. “I know you had good intentions. And I am happy. I’m perfectly content with my life right now, and the friends and family I have. I don’t need a girlfriend or a boyfriend for that. Moreover, I don’t want one.”

“If you’re certain…” Matthew says, still sounding hesitant and a bit uncertain, like he’s trying to understand and wrap his head around an impossible concept. “And you don’t feel lonely?”

“Why would I feel lonely,” Christopher says, looking meaningfully around the group. He looks at them, and thinks of Anna, and Henry, and his own parents. He has so much love in his life that’s just as valid as any romantic or physical love. “When I’m not alone?”

“Of course you’re not,” Thomas agrees.

“Alright then. No more dates,” Matthew promises, his words paired with a firm nod.

The relief Christoper feels is so strong it catches him by surprise. He knows they don’t quite get it, and maybe they never will, at least not entirely. But they listened to him and they respected his feelings on it, and that’s a good start. It’s far from perfect and he’s certain this is only the first of many conversations on the subject, but for now, it’s enough.

As the conversation shifts to training and patrols and everything they used to discuss before all their attention focused to him and his lack of love life, Christopher gets something better than his wish that things would simply go back to the way they were before. Because now his friends look to him with a new understanding, and Christopher feels more seen than he has in a long, long while.

#christopher lightwood #tsc #tlh #Matthew fairchild #james herondale #thomas lightwood #I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG #but I guess it's fitting I finally write it during Aro Spec Awareness week #also sorry it focused a bit heavy on the Aro vs Ace vibes but you know what this is definitely something I wouldn't mind writing more of!! #or a follow-up to better address both sides maybe idk jfdslk #I hope you like it! <3 #high-warlock-of-brooklyn #ask rune #long post #elle writes a few deadbeat lines

[girlbabyvelez]

Royals // Chapter Three

Summary:  Royal AU: You’re engaged to marry Chris except the two of you don’t seem to really get along. But the King orders Christopher to get along with you.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: None

The four of you sat around the table in the conservatory. You watched as the maids served the hot coffee into the cups and set the little breakfast desserts around the table. You notice the maid that you first talked to, she seemed quieter than before and seems to avoid your gaze.

“So tell us about last night Y/N, you snuck off with Christopher,” Paola inquired as she reached out for one of the muffins that Evalia just set out. Evalia stepped back, her ears perking at the conversation topic. She loved Christopher and she couldn’t even think about him being with you, you weren’t even a problem until you moved here.

“Well, we agreed that we would try. We think it’s better if we try to get along, we’re going to be married unless my brother or his father break the alliance but that won’t happen so we might as well be happy.” You answer truthfully. You knew that both of your countries needed this, Ecuador needed men and the strong military backing of Mexico and Joel needed the support of Ecuador in order to have his coronation and fully be crowned king.

“I’m glad you guys were able to come to an agreement,” Itzel responds. You smile warmly at her and nod your head. You hated how Chris was cold towards you when you first arrived, especially because he was the only one you knew and he pushed you away. 

“Me too. So did anything interesting happen at the ball while we were away?” You ask. You wanted them to be having a good time here as well, their happiness was just as important as yours. After all, you did ask them here to be your ladies. You notice how Itzel and Alejandra share a look and a giggle prompting you to question it. 

“Richard and I might have hooked up last night. I mean we danced when you left but then one thing led to another and you know.” Itzel explains. You laugh at her words, she was very flirtatious so it didn’t surprise you but you hadn’t gotten to properly know Richard but I guess he was very flirtatious too if he got Itzel. 

“Damn Itzel you’re already making moves.” You joke and you all laugh. 

“But I’m not the only one. Alejandra and Erick bonded over their shared love for dessert and politics.” Itzel responds. Your eyes shifted over to the quiet girl who sat beside you, she blushed as she took another sip from her coffee. 

“I mean he’s really sweet and we talked a lot about Cuba. Apparently he’s here to help Ecuador too which is nice.” She informs you. 

“Well, I’m glad you are all getting along.” 

~

It had been two days since the ball, and you had yet to have some alone time with Christopher. Anytime the two of you would meet somewhere to spend time all of your ladies tagged along which prompted Chris to invite his friends. But today the two of you had planned to go to the library and try to get to know each other better. You walked through the now-familiar halls when you hear the singing coming from the library, you step quietly not wanting to interrupt or scare him. You had to admit he was a good singer which was something interesting to know about him. As soon as you stepped in the library you saw him running one hand through his hair while the other grazed the books as he sang.

“¿Tú cantas?” You ask, announcing your presence. Christopher quickly turns to you. He puts on a smile as he sees you. To be honest, Chris was mostly doing this for his country and because his father commanded him to get along with you. But he felt like he also owed it to the both of you to at least try. He motions for you to sit at a table 

“Yeah, occasionally.” He answers as the two of you decide to sit across each other at the table. This was nice, you had just arrived and you already knew more about Christopher. It was the first step into getting along. 

Just as you sit down, you notice the small bouquet that sat in the middle of the table as a decoration. You reach your hand out to touch the vibrant and delicate white and pink magnolias. Christopher noticed the way you gently touched one of the flowers.

“Do you like magnolias?” Christoper asks you, watching as you look at the flowers happily. 

“Yeah. They’re not my favorite though.” You answer. You pull your hand back to your side and look over at Christopher who was already looking at you. 

“What’s your favorite?” You take a moment to think about his question, you loved all flowers but your favorite was always between lilies and dahlias. 

“I guess I would have to say lilies. What about you?” 

“Oh, definitely magnolias. That’s why there are so many in our garden.” He tells you. You’re a bit surprised that he was the reason that so many magnolias were planted outside, it made the garden look so beautiful. 

“Wait how?” 

“Well when I wasn’t learning politics and law with my father, I would spend time with my mother outside. And she loved magnolias too so we planted one magnolia and that turned into us planting more.” He tells you. You sit there for a moment, processing the soft man in front of you. He was so cold yet he has a kind and down to earth soul that you appreciated. You were glad he was being open about this. 

“Aw well I’m glad you and your mother had something to do that was outside of your royalty. Sometimes it can be drowning when it’s all you do.” He nods at your response, he understood what you meant perfectly. Being a future leader of a country could be unbearable at times but he was born for it.

“So, how are you adjusting to life in Ecuador?” He questions changing the subject. You sigh at his question, Ecuador was so beautiful but you missed Mexico so much. You missed your family, especially Joel and Israel those were the ones who would have your back and they were the ones you spent the most time with.

“I love it here but I’m definitely homesick,” You answer honestly. Chris’ smile drops at your words, he didn’t realize that you had left everything you had known to come and be with him. This would become your new home since you would be the Queen of Ecuador, you would probably only return back to Mexico when your brother requested.

“I’m sorry. I know it can be tough but I’m here for you. Plus I wouldn’t mind if you taught me some traditions from Mexico.” 

“Really? You would be willing to try and learn?” 

“Sí, if you’re going to be my wife I want to learn everything about you.” He answers and you can see that he genuinely means it. After your encounter when you first arrived, you were nervous that this was going to be miserable for both of you but you felt better with his words.

“Sounds like a deal Velez.” You playfully wink at him. And he only chuckles at your actions. The two of you were feeling more comfortable with each other which was good, this allowed both of you to be able to talk more.

~

The King sat on his throne, surrounded by one of the commanders of their army, his wife, and Christopher. The news was bad, worse than they were expecting and Christopher gauged his father’s reaction at the bad news that was being delivered by one of the commanders to their army. 

“So Colombia is pushing their troops across our borders?” The King asks clarifying what the commander told them. 

“Yes, they had enough troops to take Tulcan from us and we believe they will soon take San Gabriel.” He answers. Christopher watches as his father slams his hand on the armrest of the throne before rubbing his face. 

“Okay take more troops, we cannot allow them to keep pushing and invade.” The King orders and the commander nods before leaving the throne room. 

“We can’t keep sending all of our troops padre. Soon we won’t have any.” Christopher warns his father as he steps up towards him. His father shakes his head at his words knowing that the sooner Chris and you married it would be easier to push against Colombia. 

“You need to marry princess Y/N and soon.”

“Well we can’t push it further, you know that Joel and his mom have to set the date.” Christopher reminds his father. They had more power in this alliance which meant that your family got to decide almost everything. 

“But we can push them. We’ll have to officially announce your engagement. They would have to marry the two of you before the end of the social season, it’s tradition.”

~

Christopher stepped into the entryway that connected both the west and east wings together. The two of you were meeting in the middle so he could escort you to the garden party where the two of you would officially announce your engagement and set it in stone, which made both of you nervous but the two of you have become closer over the past few weeks. After the conversation in the library, it became easier for the two of you to talk to each other and get along. You guys were friends now which was good for your future marriage at least.

As soon as he saw you standing with your ladies waiting for him, he stopped in his steps. You wore an elegant dress that was white with pink detailing, matching the native magnolias that grew in the garden and he had to admit that it looked stunning on you. 

“Princesa,” Chris catches your attention as he steps up towards you. You warmly smile at him and take a step closer to him reaching your hand out and laid it on his arm. 

“Are you ready?” You ask him and he nods his head.

“Yeah. Te ves hermosa.” He whispers as the two of you begin to walk towards the entrance to the garden. You blush and look down at your dress trying to hide your blushing face from him. 

“Gracias. I remember that you mentioned you loved magnolias so I got a matching dress for today.” You respond as the two of you step out into the garden. His heart melts a little at the fact that you got a dress because of his favorite flower. 

Once you arrive at the garden party, the two of you have only moments to greet everyone that you can before you get called over by the King and Queen. Christopher places his hand at the small of your waist and guides you over to them. 

“Are you guys ready?” The Queen asks as she looks at you, she wanted to make sure you were good and comfortable. She was nervous when she had to make the announcement way back before she married the King. You avert your eyes from her gaze and look at Christopher who looks at you the same way, with comforting brown eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m just nervous.” 

“Me too princesa but we’re in this together,” Christopher whispers. It was enough to reassure you so you grab his hand as the two of you place yourselves in front of the crowd.

“Atención todos!” The King orders, everyone quickly quieting and turning towards him. You and Christopher stood beside him. “I would like to thank you all for joining us for the garden party. Now my son has a very important announcement to make.” The King lays a hand on Chris’ shoulder. 

“I would like to announce that Princess Y/N of Mexico and I are to be wed!” Christopher announces. 

“Yes, my son will finally wed, Ecuador has a future queen. And we are pleased to announce that the wedding will be on July 18!” The King adds the surprise announcement. July 18 was only a month away, your mother or brother couldn’t have chosen this date, you know they wanted to do it in September if possible, but July? You turn to Christopher with questioning eyes and he looks just as surprised as you.

-

Author’s Note: Ahh sorry for the long ass wait, I’ve been dealing with some stuff and whatever I am back now. The next chapter will be juicyyyyy and it will be a lot longer soo. Any thoughts on this fic?

Taglist:  @phanislife124 @bbyyelyah  @zabdisamor @xxxstormyninixxx  @babecita-1 @yashuazbabygirl @getmealifepls @cyaneaa @codename-nyx @cncoh-damn @mamacamacho @smoljoelito @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @ladykxxx08 @la-undercover-latina @lostpil52 @undeadspazzattack @plentyoffandomss @babyyynatty @juneninetynine @cnchoe-imagines @valeriiaaass @moonlitzabdiel @damnthoseyes  @ourkarlanicoleuniverse @niallisworld @multi-fandomgoddess @california-creator @ ego-allie-bap @zabdicl @chellybear98 @sometimesbadalwaysboujie​ @estoy-enamorado-de-ti @nochillnelly @ericksmamita @cncoamor @you-kinda-smell-like-christmas @pizzaspirits​ @josiemara​ @deniseasonrisa @nqbmf @affro-doll @h-bea92​

#cnco fanfic #cnco imagines #christopher velez imagine #christopher velez #joel pimentel imagines #joel pimentel #zabdiel de jesus imagine #zabdiel de jesus #richard camacho imagine #richard camacho #erick brian colon imagine #erick brian colon #ROYAL AU #cnco

[2018shawn]

Only for you, baby

OMG so I went for something a bit different - the parts in bold are normal time, the parts in italics are throwbacks, mostly consisting of smut so if you don’t wanna read them then don’t but if you do, then you do you, boo. Sorry if it does not live up to expectation I just let it flow 🥰🥰🥰

Warnings: smut, bad writing and not proof-read 🥺🤪

The St. Christoper trailing from his now flushed, marked neck bobbed up and down, where it rested at the top of his chest, with the rhythm of his heavy breathing. The love heart shaped earrings he’d brought you back from some quirky, independent store whilst he was on tour and lifelong silver anklet were the only things covering your bare body. But one thing you both did have in common was the fact you both felt nothing but heaven and ecstasy all rolled into one. Your head rested on his solid chest, the feeling of his breath brushing through your hair every so often. “God, I've fucking missed you”, he sighed happily, pressing his lips to the top of your head, almost eating a mouthful of your hair.

His holdall dropped to the floor immediately, slamming the door shut behind him with his foot. You were sat in the kitchen, the steaming pasta dish you’d made displayed nicely across the dining table, a selection of his favourite garlic breads in the middle. “Babe?” He shouted, instantly making you chuckle. His first point of call was the living room, where the television was muted, but playing re-runs of some dumb reality show to itself. He stood in the door frame, as if he was double checking you weren’t in there as you crept up behind him, your tip toes aiding you in reaching up to cover his eyes with your hands. “No, a robber, actually...” you smiled, unable to keep him from doing a 180 spin on the spot, knocking your arms away from his face.

Your breathe paused - taking in all of the glory that was known as Shawn Mendes. He could be gone for 5 minutes or 5 months - which, unfortunately, he had - and you’d still be surprised at how incredible breathtakingly beautiful he was every time. He, of course, would say the same thing about you, one hundred times over. His eyes were sleepy, presumably from the long haul flights and endless amount of shows, but somewhere in there you saw the lustful, loving look he always gave you. “Sexiest robber I've ever come across”, he laughed, before you knew it, bending down and gripping around the back of your thighs to pick you up. He walked a few steps forward, your legs wrapped around his waist, until your back pushed against the grey wall in the hallway, closing you in with no way out. Not that you minded one bit. His lips were eager to meet yours, hungry for the taste he’d missed so much over the past months. It was sloppy, but perfect, making up for every second he’d missed whilst being away. “I made...” he interrupted your sudden speech with more kisses, pausing you, “your favourite...” and again, “dinner. Thought...” again, “you’d be hungry”, you finally rushed out, continuing to accept his attack. “Oh, I'm hungry for something” He smirked, walking you both away from the direction of the kitchen and towards the bedroom.

You tried to sit up, wanting to turn around and face him, failing miserably when your body just crashed back down to the bed, feeling fragile and very well loved. “I’ve missed you too” you smiled, managing to turn onto your side, with a few winces, unsure if he had noticed the pain racing through your body. It was a happy pain, which you didn’t think was ever a thing, until you met Shawn. The feeling of being with someone you love as much as you do, pleasing them with every action you made even if it tired you out as much as this. You were well and truly under a love spell. Your hands reached up to his bed of curls, running your hands through gently - much different to the tugging you were participating in when he was in between your legs, making you see stars.

He balanced on his knees in between your legs, his thighs looking delightfully thick and toned, even through the thick, black denim. His fingers were tracing the shadows silhouetted across your chest, your delicate features instantly hardening at his sensitive touch. You think you heard him somewhat purr, and it didn’t take long for you to realise that your nipples weren’t the only thing getting hard. With a forearm either side of your head, he lowered down, starting at your chest and working down your body, kissing every little part of you that he could.

The feel of his breath hovering nearer to your aching centre left you unsure if you could handle the anticipation anymore after being so long apart. Sure you'd had phone and video calls, but nothing can ever compare to the way he makes you feel in person. He was soon lost in the same thought, his best skills working wonders on your swollen pussy, wanting to taste every last drop as you tugged fiercely through his hair, a sign he knew and thrived off all too well.

His fingers were running up and down your side, stopping every so often to play dot to dot with the freckles spotted over your hips. “I could tell”, he smirked, raising his eyebrows and nudging his eyes down to the wet patches that were decorating the bed sheets. You knew he could be cocky about his performances, but with stamina like his, how couldn’t you be?  You rolled your eyes, but in no way was annoyed by his boyish behaviour and speech. “Ermmmm, did you just roll you eyes?” he stopped all movement of his hands, gripping your hips as if you was amount to run a mile. You, by no stretch of the imagination, were in no fit state to be moving anywhere, let alone running. You shrugged your shoulders, the best you could, given your awkward side positioning.

The sound of you moans filled the room as he brought you to your first climax, your body shaking with energy. All you could see was a brown mop of curls and his arms, wrapped around your thighs and resting on your hips to stop you from moving so he - and you - could enjoy every little second. He’d waited for your breathing to calm until he continued his loving, crawling up to meet your eye level once more. “Still got it” he smiled, making you giggle and roll your eyes in return. As if something had possessed him, he was dragging you up by your wrists, tugging you to lay across his lap as his leg dangled over the edge of the bed. “What have I said before about rolling your eyes, my dear” he tutted, shaking his head as his hands smoothed over the skin of your thighs and ass in preparation for what was coming next. “I... I’m sorry, baby” You stuttered, wriggling under his touch. He raised his hand, bringing it down with almighty force, shifting your entire weight underneath him. The sound of his palm against your skin filled the room, and continued to until you admitted there would be no more eye rolling.

“Ok, Christian Grey...” you started, resulting in him bringing his hand to his chest and opening his mouth to mock offence being taken, “maybe tomorrow; this chick is done for tonight” He was by no means the leading character of 50 Shades of Grey, but he knew just what boundaries he could reach, ensuring both of you still enjoyed them to their full potential. After agreeing and pressing a sealing kiss to your lips, he sat up, running his fingers through his messy hair, letting his long legs dangle over the edge of the bed. You admired how his back muscles flexed as he moved, scanning your eyes over the artwork of red scratches you’d left decorated on his broad shoulders. He turned around to look at you, catching you out during your lustful gaze. “Like what you see, baby?” He smirked, his left eye falling into a quick wink. He acted like this when he’d been away, teasing you for knowing how much you wanted him and you could give him hell for being 10 times worse than you, but, hey, let the boy have his moment. You pushed yourself up using your hands, your back dragging up headboard until you found a comfortable spot to rest yourself against. You tried to pretend like your entire body wasn’t aching, that your intimates weren’t sore and your ass didn’t have a sting from his hand. He stood up, walking around the bed, picking up both of your scattered clothes as he did so, throwing them into the hamper in the corner of the room. Only 3 of the 7 items actually landed in there, but you giggled at his attempt, knowing you’d only have to tidy up after his tidying like normal. His tall figure towered over you, your eyes almost rolling into the back of your head as you looked up to meet his own. With a swift movement, he bent down, pressing his lips tenderly to your forehead as he brushed the wild hair out of your face. He muttered a little “stay there” before he shuffled off into the en-suite bathroom, leaving you to assume he was just going to tidy himself up and you would do the same when you found the energy to move.

Soon back by your bed side, with strong arms, he scooped you up into his chest, one arm supporting under your knees and the other wrapped around your back, resting his hand on your side. “What on earth are you doing, Shawn Mendes?” You squealed, unable to stop yourself from reaching your arms up to cling around his neck like a baby sloth on a branch.

“Looking after you, bub” He smiled, pressing another delicate kiss to your warm, furrowed forehead.

His infamous single curl dangled down, almost tickling your forehead as you giggled up at his complete adorableness; even when he was about to fuck the absolute shit out of you. He hovered over you, using his arms to support himself from squashing your much smaller but curvy body, as his throbbing length finally entered into you for what felt like a lifetime, both of you moaning with pure pleasure. It was the slowest and intimate he’d been throughout the whole night thus far and you loved every moment. He came to a halt when you’d taken as much of him as you possibly could, resting there to just take you all in, having missed it for the last 5 or so months. He thought he could’ve got off at just the feeling of your tight walls alone, but was determined to make you feel so good you couldn’t walk and make up for lost time. You squirmed under him, digging your nails into his shoulder blades. “Do you want me to fuck you?” He asked, his lips brushing against yours as they moved. You could only nod, too in a daze to let yourself speak. “Answer me properly” He ordered, readjusting one of his arms to allow it to be closer to your face, his fingers dragging through the front part of your hear to tuck it behind your ear. You'd never known anyone be so demanding by loving at the same time and you couldn’t help but thrive off it. “Yes.. please” you stuttered, only managing the two brief words. “Good girl” he expressed, moving his lips from your mouth and pressing a rewarding soft kiss to your forehead before he began fucking you into your next climax.

"I can look after myself” you smiled, however still grateful for his concerns. “And you must be tired, you should eat and go to bed”

“I’ll do that when I know you’ve done the same” He smiled as you both ended up in his destination of the bathroom. You were too busy looking up at his chiseled features that you’d missed so much to notice the quick turn around of the bathroom. The bath was filling with bubbles, close to overflowing, in fact, because Shawn had no concept of how far bubble bath actually went. The few candles lit up the dim room, only a small amount of light coming from the mirror that was hung on the wall. He stood you down gently in front of the mirror and sink, holding onto your hips for a brief moment to ensure you were good before picking your hairbrush up that you’d left there from earlier on. He took the small hair tie that was wrapped around the handle and delicately brushed all your hair into one section, stretching the scrunchie around your thick locks until he created a messy high ponytail. You watched in the mirror how he stuck his tongue out in concentration, noticing how gentle he would brush the comb through your hair like you was a china doll. He placed the brush back down, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the ridiculously large bath tub, your legs feeling like jelly. He kept hold of your hand, raising it slightly and nudging his head towards the water, suggesting for you to get in. You felt like you put you entire weight on him as you climbed in, but he didn’t mind. He never minded.

He was soon behind you in the tub, leaving loving kisses on your neck as he squeezed a sponge to let the warm, bubbly water drench your exhausted body. “Tell me what’s been happening whilst I've been gone” He said, and you began to ramble, even though you spoke as often as you could whist he was away, there was a tonne of stuff that you’d soon come to realise you missed and found yourself laughing at dumb stories that he completely wouldn’t understand because you had to be there. He loved every little expression or giggle that escaped your lips, genuinely laughing along with you because he thought you were the most amazing story teller.  You were almost finished your stories, picking up handfuls of bubbles and blowing them out in front of you in the process, until you felt him move behind you, standing up.

“You can finish telling me in bed” He smiled, reaching down and lifting you up again.

He got out before you, grabbing the fluffiest white towel he could, wrapping it around your body almost twice due to its large size. He aided you in stepping out the tub, pulling you back into the bedroom and ordering you to sit on the end of the bed. Of course, you did. You watched as he vanished back into the bathroom, shortly returning with a tub that you recognised as your favourite but most hella expensive body butter that only came out when you really deserved it.

Kneeling beneath you, he lifted you legs, one by one, taking a large dollop on the end of his finger. Like the doofus he was, he drew silly faces on your skin with the white cream, before smoothing it all out trying his hardest not to miss any patches. You weren’t talking, but it was moments like this when you didn’t think words were needed. He looked after you more than you could ever imagine and no amount of words could make up for that.

Once you felt like you had brand new skin, he dressed you in your nicest pyjamas, even though you half wished you were in one of his t-shirts like you had been for the past 5 months. But instead of wearing t-shirts that smelt like him, you now had the real thing back and that was better than any item of clothing he could dress you in.

He put you in bed, the large television on the wall opposite turned on with some universal pictures movie starting. “I’m just gonna go lock up baby” he informed you, bringing the duck feather duvet up to your neck and fluffing your pillows to triple check you was comfortable enough. You just hummed and smiled innocently, keeping your eyes on what you soon figured to ironically be 50 Shades of Grey.

Walking slowly back into the room, carrying a tray, being extra cautious not to spill anything because he knew you’d go ballistic over how clean your plush carpets are. You admired his efforts, noticing the bowls on the tray full of the dinner you’d made earlier, accompanied by two bottles of water. Looking further up, you laughed at the piece of garlic bread hanging out of his mouth because he simply couldn’t wait.

The next minutes weren’t spent eating, regaining energy and lapping up each others company. Some of the things you both appear to do well.

“So basically, then she headed for the door but fell over in the process because she’s a dumb ass” Swirling some tagliatelle around your fork with a struggle.

“Just like your dumb ass fell for me?”

“Exact- SHAWN, no, you’re so annoying” You laughed, and he loved nothing more than the sound of your happiness. “You are the most smug person I've ever met”

“Only for you, baby”

You second climax was over and Shawn was showing no signs of slowing, adamant to make up for lost love. You lay beneath him as his hardness withdrew and your legs fell from around his waist. “Fuck...” You pined, telling him with your eyes how much you were enjoying having him back home. His lips tangled with your, sloppy kisses trailing down to under your jawline. He took the skin of your neck in between his neck every so often, making you jump every time.  

"One more?” He smiled, looking up at you with dangerous eyes.

“I might be able to” You stuck your tongue out, startled when he caught it in between his teeth.

“You’re so good to me” He said, placing a hand on each of your hips, rolling you over with a force you didn’t think someone could have in them. You squealed playfully at the movement, automatically raising your ass up in the air, knowing exactly where he wanted you. His hands caressed the areas he'd created red hand prints, his cock twitching as he thought back to how they got there. You turned your neck to look back up at him, hair fallen to one side of your face, so he could see that you was the one smirking now.

“Only for you, baby”

#Shawn Mendes #Shawn Mendes fic #Shawn mendes blurb #Shawn mendes imagine #Shawn mendes fluff #Shawn mendes smut #Shawn mendes request #my request

[holylulusworld]

I don't wanna love somebody else (3)

Request: Was thinking something angsty with Sebastian Stan & reader. His friend maybe tells him that she's not nice & is behind his fame & money so she's acting all nice. Once when she's talking abt someone else Seb thinks she's actually talking abt him. He acts cold towards her & throws her out on her b'day. He insults her in front of everyone & tells everyone how bad she is. She leaves the country & changes all the contacts. Seb sees her after 2yrs, with his child. Idk a happy ending??? 

This part got inspired by A Great Big World’s ‘I don't wanna love somebody else

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader, Chris Evans x Reader (platonic), OFC Matteo Christopher, OFC Loretta

Warnings: angst, sad reader, mentions of heartbreak/break-up, arguments, daddy!Sebastian

You love me not masterlist

Sebastian is pacing around Chris’s apartment. Glancing at his best friend, trying to convince him to give him your addressee or at least your phone number.

“Please, Chris.” Moving his hand over his face Sebastian sighs. “I only want to talk to her. It’s been over a week and she didn’t allow me to see my son, please.”

“Seb, I always respected your privacy, never even tried to get involved with your decisions. Only one time I tried to make you change your mind, the night Y/N gave birth to your son. I called you, told you she’s in the hospital, asking for you.” Chris is clearing his throat at the memory of you lie on the hospital bed, waiting for Sebastian to come.

“I thought she has a broken leg or something…” Sebastian whispers, feeling more guilt well up. “I didn’t know…”

“Sebastian, you hung up the phone before I could explain the situation. I tried to reach you again and you refused all my calls that night. What if she would’ve had an accident and was close to dying?” Now Sebastian’s eyes widen, and he let the tears fall.

“I…”

“Exactly! You wouldn’t have cared at all, Seb, too busy believing this lying bitch of a best friend. I tried to make you see your mistake, Y/N tried, hell even your parents tried to make you call her. They still can’t believe you treated her that badly.” Chris is glancing at his phone the moment Sebastian’s eyes land on it.

In a split-second he grabs Chris’s phone running out of the apartment to dial your number. He’s a panting mess but the sound of your voice let Sebastian’s heart flutter.

“Chris, is something wrong? I’m at the playground Matteo loves so much, you know, close to my house. Do you want to come around?” Not knowing what to do, Sebastian wants to imitate Chris's voice, but this would be wrong, and he clears his throat.

“Please don’t hang up, I stole Chris’s phone to hear your voice.” Sniffling Sebastian walks backward seeing Chris approach, angrily clenching his jaw. “I swear Chris will hit me right now. He had nothing to do with this.”

“Seb, please stop trying to get close to me. We are over for two years. This was your decision, not mine. I only try to live with the consequences of your actions. Find someone new to love…if you ever loved me at all…”

You end the phone call and Sebastian glances at the phone he stole from his friend, not knowing how to change your mind.

“Sebastian Stan give me back my phone! How old are you, dude? I swear if you hurt her…” Chris is angrily stalking toward his friend, shaking his head. “Give her some time!”

“She said I shall find someone new to love, if I ever loved her.” Sitting onto the sidewalk, looking at the phone in his hands Sebastian recalls the day he kicked you out of his life.

“I don't wanna love somebody else, Chris.” Sitting next to his friend Chris takes his phone out of Sebastian’s hands. “I don’t know if I’m the right one to give you advice. You are my best friend, but Y/N is my friend too. She’s been through too much over the last two years. I can’t let you hurt her again or force your way back into her life.”

“I know…”

“If you are honest about your intentions and if you still love this wonderful, smart and caring woman, you have to be patient and selfless this time. Give her time, only take what she offers and maybe you can have another chance, if not…” Chris sighs, squeezing his friend's shoulder. “You have to leave her alone.”

----

“That’s great, baby boy.” You try to fake a smile watching your son building a castle of sand with Loretta. She came around to help you over the last week as you were a mess once again. 

Seeing Sarah, hearing the insults and hurtful words made you vulnerable. The worst is, you always hear your son calling Sebastian ‘dadda’ and it breaks your heart.

Then he calls you this morning and the knots you thought left your stomach are back once again. You can’t let this man back into your life but maybe your son deserves to get to know his father.

“Loretta? Your brother is a lawyer, right?”

“Si, one of the best. He studied at Harvard and works in New York.” Loretta is more than proud of her little brother, you can see it all over her face. “Why, Bella?”

“I need to know everything about custody, shared custody and the rights of a father. Sebastian has way more money and I don’t want to lose my baby if he wants sole custody…” Loretta’s eyes round, before she picks your son up. “Bella, I don’t think he will do so. I guess he only wants to get to know this little boy…”

“Do you think I should allow Sebastian to see his son? Matteo called him ‘daddy’ last week. I’m so confused and got no clue what to do know. I can’t forgive him for what he did, but my heart still wants to reach out for him…” Sniffling you take your son out of Loretta’s arms.

“The heart wants, what the heart wants, Bella. We can’t always agree with our stupid hearts.” Nodding you look at your son smiling up at you.

“Find a nice Italian man! They are hot men, strong men with strong hands…” Loretta swoons and you chuckle at her words.

Oh, I built a world around you

Oh, you had me in a dream,

I lived in every word you said

The stars had aligned

I thought that I found you

And I don't wanna love somebody else

“Can you call your brother and ask him to send me all the information I need? I want to be prepared, just in case…”

----

Another week later Sebastian tries to leave the set when he bumps into one of the PAs, looking for him. “Mr. Stan, I’m sorry to disturb you but I got a letter for you.”

“Thank you.” Glancing at the letter Sebastian’s hands start trembling, that’s your signature. Heart beating a mile in a minute he rips the envelope open, there are only a few words written on the scented stationery.

We need to talk about Matteo, meet me at this place… That’s all Sebastian can read before he starts shaking. His vision is clouded by tears as he runs toward Chris standing in front of his trailer.

“She sends me a letter…” Voice raspy Sebastian hands his friend the letter but Chris doesn’t need to read it. You already talked about your plans. “I know, Seb. Y/N asked me for advice. I suggest you have a shower before you talk to her, you reek…”

“Okay…yeah…you’re right…”

Oh, I shouldn't go on hoping

Oh, that you will change your mind

And one day we could start again

----

Nervously glancing at the flower he bought Sebastian knocks at your door. The moment you let him into your house his heart begins to race. Your hair is in a messy bun, you are wearing sweatpants and an old shirt, but you are the most beautiful thing he ever saw.

“These are for you…” He manages to choke out as you lead him into your living room, pointing toward some papers.

“I want to talk about custody, Sebastian. I asked a lawyer for advice and want you to sign some papers.” Sebastian’s face falls, as he sits onto your couch, nodding.

“Okay…”

“I will have sole custody for Matteo, and you will agree to these terms but…” Taking a deep breath you place a picture of your son onto the table. “I will allow you to see him. My job here is almost done. I got a better job offer in the States and will move back…”

“I sign everything you want me to if I can see my son…” Sebastian’s hands are shaking as he blindly grabs the papers to sign them. 

“You should ask a lawyer first, Seb. I don’t want to defraud you.” Glancing at Sebastian you shake your head when he signs the papers without thinking twice. 

“I know you won’t do such a thing, Y/N. I learned from my mistakes. Can I…” Clearing his throat he looks around your house. “See him, please. Only for a minute…”

“You can stay till dinner, then you must leave. Matteo needs to sleep early; he woke up in the middle of the night.” Walking out of the living room you show Sebastian your son’s room. “His room is at the last one on the right, next to my bedroom.”

“I can go in alone?” Searching your face Sebastian gulps hard seeing the hesitation in your eyes. This is hard for you and he doesn’t want to make it harder. “Or do you rather come with me? I mean…uh…you’re his mommy.”

“Okay…”

----

“Look at my big boy! Did you grow over the last week?” Matteo is showing his father the dog he got from him. “You like the dog?”

“He won’t let it go. Slept with it over the last week, even refused to let it go during lunch and got it dirty. I couldn’t wash it as my son decided to cry every time I tried to get hold of the dirty plushie.”

Sebastian can’t hold back the smile at the sight of his son playing with the dog he gave him. Matteo is squealing, walking toward his father to place the toy in his hands. Your breath hitches in your throat as not even you could take the plushie out of your son’s hands.

Watching your son playing with his father, squealing you know that this was the right decision, even if it breaks your heart being close to Sebastian your son needs his father.

“Y/N, can we talk later?” Sebastian asks hopefully glancing at you. Your heart wants to race but you press your hand onto your chest, taking deep breaths. “About Matteo…?”

“About us…” His blue eyes search your face as you refuse to look at him. “No. There is no us, Seb and there will never be an us again. You made me leave and this is how it ended. I will allow you to see, Matteo Christopher, nothing else…”

“Please…”

“Do you know how hard this is for me, Seb? Do you have the slightest idea of how it breaks me inside to see YOU next to the son you abandoned along with me? I can or rather I don’t want to talk about us as this is in the past.” Sebastian nods, remembering the advice Chris gave him.

“I’m sorry for asking.”

----

Watching your son sleep you look at the floor, picking up the dirty plushie. Next to it lies a piece of paper and your necklace. Sebastian must have let someone repair it. 

Your eyes fill with tears at the single line he wrote onto the paper: I don't wanna love somebody else.

Well I don't care if loneliness kills me

I don't wanna love somebody else

Oh, I thought that I could change you

Oh, I thought that we would be the greatest story that I tell

I know that it's time to tell you it's over

But I don't wanna love somebody else

All works Tags

@yolobloggers​​, @meganywinchester​​​, @shikshinkwon​​​, @miraclesoflove​​ ​, @mogaruke​​, @shatteredabby​​, @soryuwifeyxx​​, @letsdisneythings​​, @i-love-superhero​

Marvel Tags

@stuckys-whore​​​, @notyourtypicalrose​​​, @voltage-my2dlove​​​, @thedoctorscamanion, @officialmarvelwhore​​​, @randomgirlkensy​​​, @juniorhuntersam​​​, @lumar014​​​, @doctorswife221b​​​, @sister-winchesters99​​​, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​​, @the-soulofdevil​​, @chonisberonica​

Steve Rogers/Chris Evans Tags

@hhiggs​​​​, @roonyxx​​​, @stylesismyhubs​​​, @multisuperfandom​​, @mrspeacem1nusone​​, @shadowcatsworld, @fallenoutofrose​

You love me not Tags

@thequeenreaders​, @aubageddon91​, @adayinmymeadow​, @imsonick​, @selluequestrian​, @mccloudchloe​, @harrison-shot-first​, @shakemeupthanks-blog​, @bvckys-doll​

#marvel fanfiction #marvel rpf fanfiction #chris evans #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x you #sebastian x reader #daddy!Sebastian #sebastian stan x reader #request fill

[hwangsies]

riding bang christoper chan in his studio which then leads to a steamy fucking session. would definitely drop out of school for that (lol no jk i graduated last year lmao).

oh god yessss riding channie is a concept i dont hear enough about on here omml

chan knows that you really distract him more than help him when ur in his studio but he loves u and loves spending time with u so ofc ur always welcome...even if it leads to you heavily making out and you perched atop him and riding him vigurously in his producer chair. his strong hands would be gripping at you hips and squeezing your ass and helping you bounce on his cock

hard hours are open xx

#hard hours #askbox:chan

[cherishingstydia]

The One Where Everyone Finds Out

Buck and Eddie have been together about a few weeks, but the only person who knows is Christoper and he’s done such a good job of keeping it a secret. It’s not that they’re ashamed or anything. They just wanted some time before everyone knows, and the teasing comments begin. Also they found keeping it a secret kinda hot. They liked sneaking around.

Hen & Karen:

Christopher was having a play date with Denny. Buck and Eddie decided since they had the house to themselves they could have some fun. They got so wrapped up in their passion they didn’t even notice the time until they heard a loud knock on the door.

“They’re here....get dressed quick.” Eddie said quickly pulling on his pants and putting his button down back on. Buck grabbed his clothes and bolted to the bathroom.

Eddie answered the door with his shirt buttoned crooked and half untucked.Buck emerged from the bathroom wearing

his T-shirt backwards and his curls all askew. Earning them both a quick look up and down.

Buck joined Chris and Denny on the couch and Hen and Karen just smiled at Eddie.

“What?” Eddie whispered.

“Sorry. If you’d told us you needed some alone time together we would have watched Chris longer.” Hen smiled.

“What? I don’t know what you mean.” Eddie said trying to act casual.

“Eddie your shirt is half untucked and crooked, Bucks shirt is backwards and his hair is a mess. We know what was happening.” Karen said.

“Don’t tell please.” Eddie begged.

“Hey it’s ok.” Hen put her hand on Eddies shoulder. “We aren’t gonna out you, this is your relationship and it’s your choice if and when you want to tell people.”

“I’m really happy for you two. I’ve always known there was a special connection between you two.” Karen smiled and Eddie lovingly gazed at his secret boyfriend.

After they left and Chris went to bed Eddie told Buck Hen and Karen know.

“How?” Buck asked.

“Probably because it took so long to answer the door and we looked pretty disheveled. My shirt was crooked and untucked and yours was backwards.” Eddie laughed.

“Oh.” Buck whispered.

“It’s ok they won’t tell.” Eddie smiled.

Maddie & Chimney:

Maddie, Chimney, and Eddie all came over to Bucks for a Poker night. Maddie dozed off on the couch while they waited for dinner to be delivered. Chimney and Eddie were at the island drinking beers, when Buck was at the door paying for dinner. Maddie woke up from the knock and did the little yawn and stretch.

Chimney grinned gazing at

Maddie. “Thats just so adorable.”

“Right? Buck does the same thing, and then he usually nuzzles my neck.” Eddie said sipping his beer.

Chimney looked at Eddie mouth hanging open u sure of what to say.

“You and Buck?” Chimney asked.

“What? No. I mean on the couch when he falls asleep on my shoulder.” Eddie said nervously.

Chimney gave Eddie a look.

“Fine! We’re together just don’t tell ok. We are gonna tell everyone. I just don’t think he’s ready yet.” Eddie said.

“I’m not gonna tell ok...don’t worry.” Chimney smiled.

“Thanks man.” Eddie smiled.

After dinner, and poker Maddie went to the bathroom, and came back out smiling.

“So you gonna tell me whose tooth brush that is.” Maddie smiled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Buck said.

“Eddies.” Maddie grinned.

“How did you know?” Buck asked.

“Well I didn’t know for sure, but you just confirmed it.” Maddie laughed.

“Shit! Maddie that’s not fair. You gotta keep it quiet. I don’t think Eddies ready to tell anyone yet.”

“Relax. I’m not telling anyone.” Maddie smiled.

Chimney and Maddie left.

“So Maddie knows about us.” Buck laughed.

“Yeah....so does Chimney.” Eddie admitted.

“Ok I think more people know now, than don’t. We need to tell everyone. How about at Bobby’s next week? If you’re ready.” Buck smiled.

“Yes please. I’m so ready. I just wasn’t sure you were.” Eddie said.

“I’d yell it from the rooftops. I want everyone to know.” Buck laughed. “Maddie basically figured it out. How does Chim know?”

“Um. Well you and Maddie both do this little stretch when you wake up and I accidentally let it slip how cute you are when you do it.” Eddie said and Buck blushed.

Athena & Bobby:

The 118 were all over at Bobby and Athena’s. Buck was stretching and groaned.

“You ok?” Athena asked.

“Didn’t sleep well last night, just a little stiff from the mattress.” Buck sighed.

“I thought you just bought a brand new mattress.” Athena asked with a raised brow.

“I did, but I swear Eddies mattress feels like it’s older than I am.” Buck laughed before going wide eyed in shock what he just revealed.

“Eddies bed?” Athena smirked and crossed her arms.

“Don’t say anything yet.” Buck panicked.

“It’s not my secret to tell Buck.” Athena said.

“Thank you.” Buck sighed in relief. “We’re telling everyone tonight.

Buck had pulled Eddie down the hallway to tell him he told Athena unintentionally, but when he started talking about his back Eddie pulled him close, his strong hands rubbing Bucks back.

“Well I guess I’ll just have to give you a thorough full body massage later.” Eddie said before kissing his not-so-secret secret boyfriend.

“Athena already knows.” Buck admitted.

“Buck.” Eddie laughed.

“Sorry it was a slip of the tongue.” Buck said.

“Slip of the tongue huh? Ya know I’d like a slip of the tongue.” Eddie laughed before kissing Buck.

“We’ve got to keep quiet just until after dinner.” Buck smirked.

“It’s kinda hot. It’s like we could be caught at any minute.” Eddie whispered against Bucks ear.

Neither one seemed to notice the mirror on the hall closet or the fact that Bobby could see them perfectly from where he was in the kitchen.

The Big Reveal:

“Ok we have something to tell you guys.” Buck said.

“Well we have been seeing eachother secretly.” Eddie said.

No one said anything.

“I already knew, but congrats!” Bobby smiled.

“You told him?” Buck asked.

“I didn’t tell him anything.” Athena said.

“You all knew except Bobby so who told?” Buck asked.

“Wait you knew?” Chimney asked Maddie.

“You knew? And don’t tell me?” Maddie scrunched her nose pretending to be angry.

“We didn’t say a word.” Hen smiled and Karen agreed.

“How’d you know Cap?” Eddie asked.

“Well I’ve suspected Buck was interested in you since your first day, but I saw you kissing in the hallway.” Bobby laughed.

“Secrets out!” Buck said grabbing his boyfriend kissing him.

The team began hooting and hollering.

“Just don’t let catch you two at the station.” Bobby smiled.

“Oh believe me we’re good at sneaking. I can’t believe you hadn’t caught us yet.” Buck laughed.

“He’s joking. We made a rule not to do anything at work.” Eddie said. “He thinks he’s a lot funnier than he is.”

“I might not know how to make you laugh, but I know how to make you moan.” Buck laughed as Eddies face turned bright red.

“Knock it off Evan.” Maddie shook her head.

“What do you see in him again?” Hen laughed.

“Didn’t you hear he knows how to pleasure me.” Eddie laughed.

“They’re perfect for each other.” Athena said shaking her head.

“I’m so glad the children aren’t here.” Karen said.

“Oh come on I know how to act around kids.” Buck said.

“He does he’s so great with Chris that’s part of the reason I fell in love with him.” Eddie smiled.

“Y-y-you love me?” Buck stammered.

“Yeah...wasn’t exactly how I planed to tell you, but I do love you.” Eddie nodded.

“I love you too.” Buck grinned before hugging Eddie.

“Ugh. They’re also disgustingly cute.” Chimney laughed.

“So how long have you been together?” Karen smiled.

“A month on Friday.” Eddie said.

“Wow can’t believe Buck kept his big mouth shut.” Maddie laughed.

“Technically he told me accidentally.” Athena laughed.

“Yeah and Eddie told me so I guess neither one can keep a secret.” Chimney said. “They’re perfect for each other.”

“Well it’s hard to hide it when you’re so happy.” Buck smiled at his boyfriend who isn’t a secret anymore.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #cherishingstydiawrites

[summernightskyy]

My Top The 100 Men

So, @nomattertheoceans​ tagged me to post about my Top 5 The 100 Women, and while I was doing that, I got curious about who her Top 5 The 100 Men are (I’m almost positive I know at least one person who would be on her list, and I think he might even be number 1 haha). So I decided to do my own and then tag her in this! This was very hard, but in a different way from the women for me. I knew who my number one was, no doubt. But #2-5? I love every character on this list a lot, so really almost everyone else is tied for second place hehe.

1. Bellamy Blake

Oh Bellamy. My journey with him has been a long one. I started out the series nearly hating him, but then as we got to see the motivation behind his actions, I started to not only understand the character, but love him. Now, he’s one of my favorite characters across all media - potentially even my absolute favorite male character of all time. He’s an extremely nuanced character, and I love getting to see different sides of him. I love getting to see a lead male character express emotion the way he does (and not just anger); I love seeing a male lead get to cry, and not be portrayed as weak I think we need that more on TV and in movies. I grieve for the childhood both of the Blake siblings had, and I’m so proud of them (is it weird to say I’m proud of a fictional character?) for turning out the way they have. Bellamy, who was burdened with so much at such a young age, who probably never thought he would get to have a life outside of Aurora and Octavia, for fear of Octavia getting discovered. Octavia, who knew nobody outside of her brother and mother for what, like 15 years? Who probably thought she’d never get to have a life of her own either? (Ugh, I get so annoyed when I start thinking a little too much about Aurora and the decisions she made. She doomed both her children. I don’t know how she thought either of them, especially Octavia, would ever have normal fulfilling lives. If Octavia hadn’t been sent to the ground, they wouldn’t have.) Yeah, they’ve both lost their way at times, but I LOVE the Blakes (especially the eldest one haha). Season 7 has been pretty good so far, but I somehow became even more aware of just how much Bellamy (and B.ob, because he’s an amazing actor and portrays Bellamy so well B.ob antis DNI!!!! Regardless of what anyone thinks about him as a person, I think he’s a great actor) brings to the show for me with his extremely limited presence so far this season. I really enjoyed 7x11, even if it ended up with my boy being brainwashed. I stood by him even after he wrongfully and stupidly participated in the grounder army massacre, and I’m sure as heck gonna stand by him now too. @clarkegriffinlovebot​ said they would watch Bellamy Blake watch paint dry for 45 minutes, and I totally agree. (Is it weird that I’m tagging you? I don’t know you and I’ve never interacted with you past liking that post, but I wanted to give you credit haha) The show is just so much better for me when this adorable mythology and history nerd is in it.

2. Nathan Miller

Onto number 2! I chose Miller because although we *unfortunately* haven’t seen much of him or delve into his character that much, I’ve loved all the little bits we’ve gotten to see. He’s just so sassy and snarky, and I love it, in addition to him being loyal (sometimes to a fault) and trustworthy (lmao, that’s funny considering he’s a thief - but I don’t know, in my eyes he’s trustworthy when it counts 😂). I love him, and him hating all the planets they’ve been to is so, so relatable. I would be just entirely done and tired as well. I also really enjoy Millamy and Millarke as brotps (although I don’t think I’d mind if Millamy was a romantic ship haha). There’s quite a few things I would change about this show, but two of the things highest on that list would be 1) making Jarod Joseph part of the main cast so we could properly explore Miller as a character and give him his own full story line(s) and 2) making Miller x Monty canon, even if it was just for a little bit! Marper was cute, and Mackson is alright, but I think these two would have been cuter, and I’m so salty the show didn’t go down that route, especially since both Jarod and Christoper Larkin seemed to be on board.

Also, I really need to learn how to make my own gifs, because I was really hoping to find one with Miller saying “In other words, get the flock out of here!” I actually died during that moment. Maybe someone did make one, but if they did, I didn’t see it. That’s fine, though. I needed motivation to start trying anyways, because its something I’ve always wanted to do.

3. Gabriel Santiago

Everyone else on this list has been on the show since season 1, and I definitely didn’t expect to love a character who was introduced in the penultimate season as much as I love Gabriel. At the end of season 6, I was really hoping they’d keep Gabriel around, so I was super happy to hear they were going to, and I haven’t been disappointed. I love how he literally seems to thirst for knowledge. (I clearly have a thing for attractive, nerdy guys, okay?) I also find it incredibly brave that he pushed so hard for the Primes to stop what they were doing, because he had to know that all of them, including the love of his life, would turn on him. It was obvious that Ryker wasn’t fully okay with what was happening either, but he didn’t do what Gabriel did and fully renounce the practice. He clearly has a pretty strong moral compass, even if he was lead astray from it for awhile. I also really liked seeing him bond with Echo, Hope and Orlando. He’s smart, hot as hell, subtly funny, and not afraid to do what’s right even if that’s gonna end up making the people he cares about mad at him. 

4. Monty Green

Monty has been one of my favorites from the jump, and I miss him so much. He’s just so adorable and kind, and literally one of the best people on this show. He suffered through and lost so much, and I wish we could have had more focus on him dealing with those traumas. I hate that we never really got to see how he dealt with what happened at Mount Weather. The focus tends to be mostly on Clarke and Bellamy, but even then mostly Clarke. I think it’s easy to forget that while, yes, they pulled the lever, Monty made pulling that lever possible so he could save his friends. We also don’t really get to see much about him dealing with the trauma of having to kill his own mother, and even Jasper’s suicide was relatively swept under the rug. I mentioned earlier that there’s quite a few things I would change about this show, and when it comes to Monty, I wish we could have seen him process these events and heal. I also think credit for saving the day tends to go to Bellamy, Clarke, Octavia and Raven - but Monty has been instrumental in many instances. Those five, in my opinion make up the core five characters of the show, and honestly, the show hasn’t been the same without Monty. I love Jordan, he’s adorable and genuinely good just like his dad (and mom) but Monty’s part of the soul of the show to me. Also, how cute is it that Monty taught Jordan Korean?!? (I really think Jordan might be onto something about Cadogan and the Disciples interpreting the text incorrectly - so look at that, Monty might indirectly save the day again)

Also, shout out to @thelovelylights​ for making this gif - it’s one of my favorite moments of Monty, I’ve been following her for a long time, and her blog is amazing.

5. John Murphy

Honestly, I didn’t realize just how much I’d come to like and care about Murphy as a character until this season. I’ve been sooo stressed out watching every single episode he’s been in, worrying that he would end up dying. I’m a sucker for well depicted character growth / redemption arcs, (I mean lol, there’s a reason that some of my favorite characters include Bellamy Blake, Zuko, and Jaime Lannister), and Murphy’s had a great one. He was such a dick in season 1 who, unlike Bellamy - who clearly cared about Octavia at least, really seemed not to care about anyone but himself. It’s been so amazing to see him grow into the person he is now; a person who cares so much about the lives of random people, who was genuinely scared when he realized Madi was in danger, who reassured to her that she was safe and helped calm her down. I really hope the theories about a Memori baby end up becoming canon, because Memori has grown sooo much over the course of this series and they would be absolutely amazing parents.

Honorable mention: Lincoln Kom Trikru

Lincoln was just such a great character. I miss him so much 😭

Tagging @nomattertheoceans​ and anyone else who sees this and wants to do this!! 

#the 100 spoilers #the 100 #top 5 the 100 men #bellamy blake #nathan miller #gabriel santiago #monty green #john murphy #lincoln kom trikru #also just have to mention how large my crush on chuku modu is #being bi is great lol #i'm official bellamy blake trash

[naptoons]

Triggered-Joel Pimentel

warnings: Sexual Content, Cheating,Mild Language, Alcohol reference.

Theme: Angst

A/N: this is a part two of story of us , this is requested by @cncogirl18 ! i hope it’s great and it meets your request!. Read the first part here!

joel and i have been getting more and more distant for the past 2 years. sometimes i blame it all on tour, sometimes i blame it all on maybe he’s cheating. maybe hes fallen out of love with me. but to be honest i blame it all on me. i pushed him away because im not ready for the limelight. im not ready for the flashing cameras and gosspi pages. most dont even know what i look like, they just thought i was a fanpage commenting under his posts all the time. some he didnt respond to so it didnt look so obvious.it’s been on my mind all day, even my friends noticed it, urging me to go home and talk to him about it. but i cant. maybe  cant because im afraid of the answer.

 leaning back in my chair picking at the peeling skin on my thumbs. debating going to joel’s apartment or heading to the party richard invited me to for his daughter. i might as well go home first, maybe get a nap. getting up from the chair, i grab my keys to his aprtment, heading for the door.

arriving at his apartment i walk in the house,hearing the noise of heavy breathing and muffled moans. the grunts that only i would know. but apprantly im not the only one whom knows it. biting the bullet of crying, i walk towards the living room dropping the keys in the bowl. after today i dont think i wanna come back. walking past the room to the bathroom i hear the voice of someone farmilar.

“i told you, you never loved her, you’d come back to me papi” emlila swoons him in, joel sighs with his feet shuffling against the carpet “why cant you admit it?!” she yells at him “she is nobody anyways why do you care so much?” feeling anger in my broken heart i swing the door open, gritting my teeth against my jawline, the atomsphere turning colder than stone.

“yeah joel, im fucking nobody” i choke through my clogged airways

“baby-” cutting him off i smack his hand away from my frame, i grab my back packing all of things “bre listen it didnt mean anything!” his voice breaking and pleading to get my attention, joel grabs my arm but i push him back making him hit the edge of the dresser groaning in immersed pain. but i feel no remorse.

“if it meant nothing why the fuck did you do it?!” i yell through the tears, i tried to be strong. to not cry in front of him. he didnt deserve my tears, he didnt deserve anything from me at this moment. “get the fuck away from me joel, i never want to see your fucking face ever again” grabbing my packed bag i place it on my shoulders before stepping out the room, i look back at emailia to see her smiling.

“you think you have everything right now, but if he did this to me, what makes you think he wont do it to you?” i pour my venom on her, her smile slowly falling flat and changing into anger “misery loves company, i hope you guys are miserable together karma is a bitch” with my words i feel my shoulders become lighter, running downstairs i hear joel yelling my name behind me, getting to the front door i slam it behind me getting in my car.

“what a fucking fool i am” i breathe out “thinking we could ever be something, neither of us was ready” i grab my phone calling lunay as i back out of his driveway, the tears begin to roll down my cheeks clouding my vision all i can see if dots of red and white lights.

“hola mami” lunay’s voice hones in on my ears. insatly my voice cracks trying to keep it together, i just break down and cry gripping the steering wheel as my knuckles drain the blood from them. “hey bre are you okay? where are you?”

wiping my face i inhale heavily “joel cheated on me” i let out “can i come over?” i ask, before hearing the answer all that fills my ears is the skid of tires on the road, and the reverb of a collision. The vision I once had colored like a void.

Pitch dark.

Opening my eyes to the angelic light, I groan as it burns my cornea, covering them with my fingers I sigh heavily. “Welp I guess that’s a sign to use night mode” I let out, slowly regaining my eyesight looking over at a puzzled wreck of a cousin. Smiling slightly I reach for his hand “hey, what’s got you so tangled up Charlotte?”

“You’ve been unconscious for three weeks, that’s what, and get a better joke that was corny” Christopher smiled slightly at the end, but I could tell that smile was fake. “And I’m wondering should I kill someone” his voice taking the form of malice.

“If you were to do that you couldn’t see your precious cousin” I smile followed by his scoff “wouldn’t say precious” he insults me. Lunay walls into the room sighing of relief “wow, did y’all really think I was going to die?” I laugh “y’all had no hope for me huh? What a sha...” getting my sentence cut off by his hug around my neck, I smile softly my fingers rubbing his back. “Hey you” I let out. He must’ve been so worried.

Lunay has been taking care of me for a whole month. I had to go to recovery, I lost a little bit of feeling in my legs so I started walking little by little, they also recalled my brain is a little fuzzy prior three minutes before the crash. Sadly it didn’t make me forget I got Joel cheating on me. With the girl who tried to break us up even before a label. I guess she got what she wanted. I haven’t seen or heard from Joel since that day. Part of me wants to reach out. But another part says “fuck him he pushed you away” tapping on the bow empty cereal bowl I hear the chunks of shoes hitting the floor.

“Aye mami, you okay?” Lunay rubs my shoulders, moaning at the tension in my body I nod my head slightly “are you sure? I’m here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on”

“Hm no I’m tired of crying, I’m moving on now”

“Aye nena! That’s right, you can do better” he encourages me. Lunay was throwing a party at his house tonight for a celebration on winning an award. I joined in even though Lunay told me I didn’t have to I just couldn’t be soaking in my sadness. It’s not going to fix anything so what’s the point of moping? Grabbing the drink on the counter I gulp it in one shot feeling it burn down my throat rapidly. Every cnco member was here but Joel. Made me wonder is he trying to avoid me? Why should he? He cheated on me he shouldn’t have any shame he knew what he got himself into. He shouldn’t have any shame it’s what he wanted anyways.

Drinking down another shot Richard furrows his eyes at me smiling I wave at him “what’s up Richard? You scared to drink?” I ask him

“Scared of you drinking, I don’t think you’re in the right headspace to be drinking nena” his lips fall in a flat line leaning against the counter, grabbing the bottle of liquor I grab my red solo cup this time.

“I think I’m just fine, I can’t sit around here and fucking waste my time in being sad, it’s been a whole month Richard, im fine” I crack open the cranberry juice to fuse with the liquor. “So stop worrying about me okay?”

“I’m worried about the both of y’all, hoping neither of you collapse first” Richard mumbles while walking away, I wanna ask him what that was about but I’m stopped by Lunay. With the biggest smile on his face.

“Hey? You good having fun?”

“Never better! Let’s dance” grabbing his hand with my left I sip with my right, everyone was bumping and grinding on their designated partner. Everyone here was having a great time. No one had a mask on themselves. Drinking, smoking falling in love in his backyard. Five cups down and the world was spinning. Taking off shoes and dancing on tables. I was dancing it away.

The pain away. Fuck it still hurt.

But there’s always three sides to a story.

His. Mine. And the side neither of us talked about.

Giggling on the couch I lay my head on christopers shoulder “hey cousin how are you?” I slur followed by a hiccup “I haven’t seen you since the hospital what are you up to these days?” My face felt hot and was probably showing hues of red. Maybe even pink.

“Babysitting two broken people is what” Christopher groans, he was rarely serious so this caught me off guard. Being to drunk to even ask I hug him.

“Aye, there’s no use in worrying, you gotta have a hurricane before the rainbow, I’ll be okay I promise”

“I hope so, we don’t want any more collateral damage” he hums in my ear.

The party was over and I watched as the few people that stayed over, Lunay was cleaning up trash until he saw me laying in the couch. “Mami, go to bed, or would you like me to drive you home?”

“Id rather not be alone” I mumble, almost throaty, suppressing the cries I want to let out. I can’t I’m done crying. I’ve been doing it for a whole month.

“Hey” he bends down to my level, running the pads of his thumb on my cheek “you’re never alone I promise” his eyes twinkled in love, I’m feeling the same way I did towards Joel. How can this be true? Have I moved on that quick?

Richard went back to Joel’s apartment, just as he was about to knock on the door, emailia opens it, her face showing signs of panic. “Wheres joel?” She asks

“And you think I would tell you? Plus that’s why I’m here to see was he here” Richard smugly answers

“So wait, hes not with you?” emailia asks

“Nope” Richard grabs his phone dialing his number, but to his demise it goes straight to the voicemail. Richard mumbling a soft curse word under his breath. “His phone is off”

“Oh my god fuck” she paces while chewing on her thumb, Richard looks at her with no sympathy but he just knew his mind had to ask.

“So what lie did you tell him hm?” emailia turns around on her heels looking back at him dumbfounded

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me I didn’t stutter, Joel is completely and utterly in love with bre, what did you say?!” Richard snaps are her, feeling Christopher pull him back slightly, “rich calm down”

“I didn’t tell him anything! He told me he felt bre was fading from him, and the more he tried the more she pulled, all I said was maybe she found someone else”

“Then took his sadness as your advantage to comfort him” Richard spits, walking away slowly

“You know damn well I love him!”

“If you did he wouldn’t be in this situation” Richard mumbles before getting in the car. “So? How are we going to find Joel?”

“We can’t, he’s been so secretive lately. Who knows where he is, the only thing I can think of is just wait for band practice or for him to come home” Richard sighs heavily “this is a fucking hurricane”

The bright sun beams on my eyelashes, squirming I feel a arm wrapped around my waist and the feeling of a chin in my shoulder. Slowly lifting the covers I gaze upon our naked bodies entwined together. Sighing and softly cursing to myself I sink my head deeper in the pillow.

Lunay and I hooked up.

Drunk hookup.

Slowly getting up from the bed I grab my clothes putting them on one by one. Until a hear a husky groan “good morning” he mumbles, my luck. Smiling I make it back to the bed sitting in front of him.

“Good morning” I whisper back

“How you feeling?” He asks

Embrassed.regretful.sad.

“Good, I had a good sleep”

“I imagine so” he jokes, getting up from the bed slowly “look bre, I don’t wanna be your rebound, I know this is the worst timing but, I’ve had a crush on you for the longest, and seeing how broken you are hurts me” freezing at his sudden words I looking down at the my tangled up fingers, “I want you to find what you mean to yourself, I want you to fix yourself, even if that means talking to him again”

“Lunay, I can’t even look him in the eyes and not want to cry”

“So? Isn’t better than wondering and drinking alcohol, not to mention losing your mind not knowing what to do” Lunay grabs my hand kissing my knuckles softly “bre, you deserve love okay? Don’t think that there won’t be someone out there for you”

Nodding my head I decided to face him head on. To talk about the problems I’ve never discussed.

Arriving at Joel’s apartment my stomach drops in depths. Never thought I’d come back here. Having ptsd just by looking at the snowflake walls, the way his plants on his patio are slowly decaying. He really isn’t doing to well just like me. Why is this so hard on him? I’m the one that should be triggered.

Knocking on the door I wait for his answer, the door swings open, smelling like a strand of weed. “Richard I told you-” his sentence is cut off by the sight of my eyes glued in his. “What are you doing here?”

“To talk” I answer

“What is there to talk about, I made you look stupid” Joel sighs

“yeah you’re fucking right you made me look like a fool, but I can’t blame you, maybe I pushed you towards that resort, not saying what you did was okay, but maybe the way I treated you inflicted this” I sigh leaning against the wall “can I come in?”

Joel opens the door for me to come in, closing the door behind me I see the mess his living room is in, I see the empty beer bottles and burned out half blunts. The edibles wrappers over the floor. Looking back at joel I see his hand is wrapped in a gauze. What has he been going through? I grab a bag as I start picking up his trash, “no it’s okay I’ll clean it up” Joel suggests but I grab his hand leading him to the couch.

“Let me help you, let someone help you okay? We gotta stop shoving people out” I stammer through my tears. Finish with cleaning up the mess, Joel and I sit on opposite sides of the couch.

“I’ve had two boyfriends in my lifetime, and when it got past two years, shit just started going downhill, one was abusive and one was a pathological liar and a drug addict” I start off, Joel’s eye filling to the brim with water, with just one touch they would pour down his lips. “It’s tiring opening and closing parts of me just to repeat the cycle, and when you cheated on me, I just saw you as the rest, I yelled at you and blamed you, I claimed you ruined everything, I wanted to fight you guys both, knowing she’d probably sue me or charged me with battery”

“In that heat of the moment I was willing to catch a case for it, cause you know me, when I get mad I get big mad, weeks after my accident I was going to call you, maybe even text you but I couldn’t, when I typed on the bubble I Tried my hardest not to disrespect you After what you did, man, what you expected?” My eyes looking at the tearful golden boy, his cheeks and nose were pink, so was his ears, glistening cheeks swelling up at the minute.

“I felt so Triggered, when I hear your name but also I was Triggered, because I am not okay, I was getting drunk partying hooking up with people all because I still missed you, Of our memories All you meant to meAll that history All that's history” my fingers trembling to grab his hand, caressing my thumb over his.

“But ain't no me and you without you in it, so I just wanna say I’m sorry, I pushed you away and made you feel like I didn’t love you, because I now know I do, I really do love you joel” the tears now falling out of his eyes, mirroring mine in the same gesture.

“I’m sorry too, I should’ve never talked to her about our problems, I should’ve came to you, but it isn’t your fault, I was the one who decided to have sex with her in our bed, no matter what I should’ve came and talked to you” Gravelly his voice echos the room, pulling him towards me, I wrap my arms around his head, letting him sob into my hoodie. As I begin to cry along with him.

“We’re both you blame, all we needed was to communicate” my wobbly voice whispers on his ear. “I accept your apology Joel, just promise we won’t run away from each other” feeling his body stop shuttering his head pulls out hovering over me.

“Yeah, I won’t run unless you promise to not run, and let’s better ourselves” Joel sniffs

“I’m not going anywhere, maybe someday we’d could be something more than friends again, you have my heart joel. We just need to fix ourselves before becoming one, but I don’t mind taking it slow with you”

“No labels? Just chilling?”

“Yeah” I smile caressing his face “slow burns”

“Slow burns”

#joel pimentel concepts #cnco joel #joel pimentel