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#But like... Otherwise ... Yeah if we are friends like that you have probably proven to me to be trustworthy so id be okay with that

ghostieeeee · 9 months

Text

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏: 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

Word count: 3.6K

Warnings: Possible spelling errors? :D

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

You've come to learn that in your current lifetime experience of schooling, high school is much like a jungle gym. The smooth concrete grounds were always littered with students, used at the disposal of others for leverage to fling themselves around; lockers were basically crashpads; and teachers did nothing but ignore the injured ones. Why would someone so simply walk from point A to B when they could find a million and one other ways to get there while having twice the fun?

Your answer would simply be because of safety regulations- or maybe it was just the fact that you couldn't deal with any form of confrontation from possible victims due to such annoying antics. Either way, it had proven that the irresponsibility of students and teachers alike had led the school to chaos, and you, for one, disliked it.

"Did you see the latest post on the muggie page?" Eunchae, probably the most social butterfly-like person within your very contained friend group blurted out, her eyes doe and her smile wide.

"Uh… no? I don't believe I did" Chaewon, the oldest of your bunch with the youngest patience replies, sharing a look of warning with Eunchae as the younger girl spins on her heel to walk backwards, causing her to become blind to her path.

"Wasn't it something about Soobin?" Inquires the taller of the group, Kazuha, also frequently labelled as the book worm for her love of most books.

"Yeah!" Eunchae snaps into grin, clicking her fingers into stretched finger guns,"apparently he's cheating to get ahead in maths"

You groan, rolling your eyes at your sister's poor habit of spreading rumours,"it's a photo, not a Wikipedia page. Where do these rumours even come from? They're almost always fake"

"Yeah, like, who would even believe that a hippopotamus broke into the school's bathroom?" Kazuha interjected, although her voice seemingly vanished after the word "believe" left her lips.

"There's pictures!"

"Eunchae, we don't need to see poorly edited pictures to believe anything," Chaewon almost huffs, having this been the third time today Eunchae has offered to show these so-called real photos. "Besides, it's all just for followers and attention. Remember Felix before he got expelled?"

"He got expelled because he threw a bucket of fish on someone-"

"Not just someone-" Eunchae interrupts Kazuha, holding out her hand,"it landed on the head teacher!"

"Even worse!" You whine,"Mrs Jang was there to stop Felix's madness, and it just so happened that she got caught in the crossfire of it all"

"None of that is the point!" Chaewon grumbles aloud, readjusting the books held between the muscles of her biceps and her ribs,"who cares about who got caught in the crossfire, who cares about the original target! All that matters is that his intentions were to gain in popularity, to ultimately gain followers for his bold and daring personality"

"God do I hate that boy…" Kazuha mumbles, eliciting what seemed to be a spell of silence over you four as you continue to walk in silence. What Felix had done won't be erasable, not to Kazuha and her dozen beloved books, at least, but you can at least try and forget the misery he put most students through.

You still remember the time you came back from gym class, only to find that your clothes had magically transformed into a tight crop top and a mini skirt. To say you were fuming was one thing, but to say your friends were ready to go on a rampage was another.

You release a content sigh however, upon the memory of Minji, Kim Minji, otherwise known as your secret girlfriend, who had been so quick to discreetly pull you aside and offer you the spare change of clothes she keeps for you. She always keeps a full outfit for you in the back of her own gym locker. You hadn't seen much point in the idea to begin with, but damn were you relieved when it actually came in handy.

Thinking back on it, you never did find your clothes again…

"Morning!" A familiar voice called out, so bright and bubbly with a coaxing of something else, something reluctant. It was the tender voice of the very person you were thinking about, Minji, and now she's standing only a few feet away, waving morning to those who pass her by with her signature smile.

On mornings like these, you'd walk past with your head down, minding your own business for the sake of your decision to keep your relationship with the school's "IT" girl private. However, something in you had you hooked on her smile today, and therefore had your eyes hooked on her as you walked past.

It was obvious Minji noticed, her eyes meeting and following yours till they no longer could. It was also obvious that it had made her morning all that much better- evident in the instant widening of her soft smile.

"Y/n, you have english first, right?" Eunchae was quick to unintentionally ruin the short moment, flinging her arm over your shoulder, her eyes boring into the side of your head as you quietly blush to yourself.

There was something different about Minji today… Maybe she was wearing a new soft toned shirt? Or maybe she did something new with her makeup? Either way, it had already devised its plan and plagued your mind with unanswered questions. Unanswered questions that needed to be solved.

"Y/n?"

"Huh?" You jolt back as a result of a small pinch to your forearm, your opposing hand rushing over to cover the new stinging sensation. You glare at Eunchae,"what?"

"You have english first, right?"

"Yes, I have english first. Why?"

Eunchae gives you a wicked grin, one you're sure could be fatal given the correct circumstance,"don't you have that new assignment, project thingy?"

"Shoot…" your eyes falter, neck growing limp as it sags slightly over your shoulders. "Why'd you remind me of that? I was having a decent morning, you know?"

"Oh? My bad?" She speaks with an insincere tone,"Just wanted to ask you who you'd pick to be your partner this time"

"Haha, funny joke munch"

"I told you to stop using that nickname years ago!" The slightly younger Hong whines, retracting her hand from your shoulder.

You roll your eyes,"Miss has never let us pick our partners, so there's no answer to that question"

"You need to have some hope," Chaewon speaks up, pushing her glasses up the thin bridge of her nose. It's been a while since Chaewon last wore glasses, so it was a welcoming sight to get used to.

"Yeah! And if your teacher does pair you with someone, I hope it'll be the boy from last time." Eunchae continues to grin, making stupid kissing faces with her lips impossibly puckered.

"Please no," you shudder out, remembering the laziness of his work ethic, but the proactive nature of his wanting to get to know you better. If it was a social experiment, you would've been somewhat alright with it- but it wasn't. "Let's just see if I can survive getting to class first"

"Why wouldn't you make it?" Truth be told, there were a thousand ways to answer that, a thousand possibilities of something happening. Possibly a fire drill; someone knocks you unconscious; maybe you'd be kidnapped; or the roof of the school gets ripped open and you could get abducted by aliens.

Maybe the last two examples were a little extreme… but never say never?

"Just look around us. Do you really think half of these people aren't secretly serial killers?"

"We're teenagers" Eunchae rolls her eyes,"were all serial killers in the making"

"But still, there's always a possibility"

"I'll see you guys later," Kazuha speaks, her tone almost making her sentence sound like a question more than anything else.

You, Eunchae, and Chaewon each respond with different farewells in unison, creating a mesh of jumbled words as your other friend heads into her class.

"Do you ever get the feeling that someone is secretly watching you?" Chaewon spurts out, causing you to raise an eyebrow at her inquiry.

"Yeah, all the time," you respond,"sometimes I swear Eunchae secretly watches me when I sleep"

"I don't do that," Eunchae almost snorts as she pinches your arm again, earning herself a slap in the process.

"Sounds like it most of the time…"

"We have paper thin walls!!"

"No we don't! You just have the need to know everything about me"

"Guys?" Chaewon interrupts. Albeit your little bickering session was entertaining, Chaewon genuinely couldn't shake the question off her mind.

"Sorry, sorry," you awkwardly laugh,"I've had the feeling once or twice- but like I said, it's almost always Eunchae," you shrug.

"And when it's not me?" Eunchae tilts her head in question, furrowing her eyebrows slightly.

"It's Kazuha waiting for me to fetch a book I offered to find for her"

"Eunchae?" Chaewon asks as you stop outside of your classroom door.

"I get people looking and staring at me all the time," your sister responds with a nonchalant tone, seeming far too careless about her explosive personality.

"Right…" Chaewon tugs a smile across her face, nodding slightly.

"Hey, it's okay. If anything happens, we're all just a phone call away. Right, sis?" You turn to see Eunchae enthusiastically nodding in agreement,"see?"

"Thanks guys" she shakes off the forced smile,"You should get inside your class" she nods to you.

"Yeah, I suppose so. I'll see you all at break, " you wave before turning. The last thing you hear is them saying goodbye before you're officially in the torture chamber of hell. The classroom.

Your designated seat was on the third row back, one depressing chair away from the love of your life- the window. The view is pretty nice up here too, so why must the teacher make you suffer this bad?

You lazily throw your bag against the metal leg of your desk before slumping into the paired chair. You could feel your back almost instantly grow sore at the uncomfortable furniture choice, but it's not like you could change that. Living with the suffering is your only option.

"Morning, everyone," a voice booms against the rest, threatening the bustling army of student voices into hushed whispers until they stop altogether. She coughs,"I'm not wasting any time here, you all know what's happening, so without further ado…" The woman pauses to grab a sheet of paper, her eyes hungrily scanning over the printed information.

"Yujin and Soyeon"

"Irene and Yiren"

"Hyunjin and Jeongwoo"

"Y/n and Haerin"

You gulp. Haerin? As in Kang Haerin? The Haerin that's friends with your girlfriend? That Haerin?

Were you really questioning what Haerin you had been partnered with? There's only one in your class, and as far as you know, the only other girl named Haerin in this school is two years below you. You were tempted to slap yourself, if only it wasn't for the attention it would place upon yourself.

Hesitantly, your eyes hoister upon the figure of your new partner for the next few weeks. She sat on the front row, closest to the door- she was basically completely across the room. You lean forward a tad, capturing what you could of her before someone else's head got in the way.

She looked half asleep in all honesty. You're not even sure if she's listening. Her half lidded eyes are barely focused on the teacher, and her smokey hoodie is drawn up to her mouth.

This was bad. The possible scenario of her finding out was at an all-time high, and you're not ready for that yet- you're not ready for any of that yet.

Your relationship is meant to be a secret, a rule imposed by you to keep your emotions in tact. Minji wasn't all too fond of the idea, but she accepted it nonetheless. It's been hurting you as much as it's been hurting her- but you'll both end up far worse if people knew.

The people in your school would ravage you for details on your personal life. Your privacy would be invaded by snotty teenagers- ultimately turning your life upside down. They'd ruin you for being a nobody if you're not good enough, if you don't match their standards. It doesn't help that their standards are themselves either. It's just one of the many perks of dating Minji.

Maybe you could swap partners…?

"Hey! That's not fair! You know we don't get along well together!" You look to your left, only to find the boy you sit next to on his feet as he thrashes his arms about.

"Mister Song, please remain as you were." The teacher attempts to calm the boy, speaking in her usual dismissive tone.

"I demand a partner swap! Uh- with this girl right here!" You yelp as he grabs your elbow, dragging you to your feet.

"Mister Song, leave the girl alone and report to the head teachers office immediately," Miss huffs out, clapping her hands aggressively out of annoyance.

The boy lets go of you, to which you quickly take your seat again, scooting slightly away as heat creeps to your face and your hands begin to subtly shake. "Whatever"

You breathe in deeply, taking in mouthfuls of air at a time to steady yourself as your brain scrambles to put itself back together. You find yourself counting each breath, starting from one and working your way up to ten within a short matter of time.

It didn't take too long- only until the teacher was done reading out the list- for you to have regained a decent enough composure to not be noticed by others. You had initially calmed down, but your nerves were still very much active, and it made you all that much more aware of your surroundings.

"Find your partners and don't forget to pick up a sheet." You look up as your teacher places a thin stack of paper at the front. Was that seriously your project? It was printed out onto a sheet of paper! You're not quite sure if she's just too lazy to inform the class verbally or if this was some ingenious idea to stop you from letting her words go in one ear and out the other- like they normally do.

You halt in your seat for a moment, your hand grasping a strap of your bag as you wait for everyone else to have gotten their own resources before you move. You had watched how several people passed the Isle two seats down from you, rushing about in a sloppy mess, and now it was your turn to go before everyone was sat back down.

Standing up, your chair's legs scrape against the wooden flooring, an unwelcoming sound to bask in. You're quick to tuck your chair back into the table, also tucking the chair of the boy that grabbed you earlier to get past as he left it in obstruction to your path.

Carefully squishing yourself between the fewer students at the front, you grab a sheet and make your way over to Haerin. You notice how her brown hair tangles itself slightly, how the ends of her hair nestles into the small creases of her hoodie. You also notice how her hands are fiddling with each other, her thumb gracing over her knuckles before rubbing small circles into her palm.

Everyone in the school knows of her, but no one actually knows her. No one has ever questioned her introverted state, neither have they ever really cared enough to find out. It's their loss, you suppose.

You gently clear your throat to get her attention, only now noticing how dry your airway has gotten. You wait as she slowly turns to you, only blinking at your existence beside her.

"W-we're partners for the English project… can… can I sit here?" You felt yourself vomit whatever confidence you had left to get those words out, especially as she keeps staring at you with a blank expression.

"Go ahead," she almost mumbles, keeping her eyes trained on you as you nervously take your seat beside her- almost sweating at the intensity of her stare. You swear she could read your mind.

"Thanks" you offer her a small smile in an attempt to smooth the rough granite between you two, but you don't get one back, causing your face to falter a bit.

Haerin hums, moving her target of focus to the sheet you brung over, her eyes quickly scanning the words as she nods along to a silent beat. "You'd think she'd at least send this via email or something," she grumbles, dragging the sheet closer to her for a better look.

"That way, the instructions wouldn't get so easily corrupted," you add, noting how paper is insufficient against most elements. No one likes a soaked piece of paper, but even so, at least that would be better than having it get burnt into basically nothing.

"My point exactly." Haerin glances back to you, her dark eyes pricking at your skin,"if we lose this paper, we lose our project"

You hold back a smile at her words, more so the particular word,"our." This was already a far better start than your previous project you had done last term.

“Would you want me to type it out and send it to you later?”

“I was kind of hoping we could do that now. I know it's not really a wise thing to do because of the deadline being next month…” Haerin pauses to look over the sheet again, her finger tracing from the set deadline to the paragraphs that explain the task, until the said appendage reaches the very base of the page. “But it would save us a lot of time in case something does happen”

Nodding in agreement, you lean to unzip your bag,”Do you have a laptop?” You ask, pulling your own device out and setting it on the desk.

“Yeah, I do. Can you make a document and share it with me? I’ll write down my email for you” She questions, pulling out a pen and pulling the lid off.

“For sure,” you agree.

The classroom was already back to its usual state of madness and pure insanity. It was almost as if they had reverted to their old, primitive ways with the caveman-like sounds they were producing. It was almost impossible to miss the paper balls being thrown across the room as a strange form of note passing.

“Do people not understand the meaning behind focus?” Haerin murmurs under a light breath, her hand almost straining as she logs back onto her laptop.

“Their brains are too underdeveloped to even understand the context of silence. What makes you think they can focus on anything other than not focusing?” You reply, looking at the brown haired girl with a small smile and a nervous heart. You could still feel the rampant of your heartbeat in your ears.Talking to new people was certainly not your speciality.

She sighs,”you’re not entirely wrong. Some can focus on other things like the females and their makeup and skin care routines… I can’t say much for the boys”

“Yeah… Hey, I sent you the document” You inform, having used the email she neatly wrote down on the paper your teacher had you grab on the way over.

“Thanks. If you can type out this-” she points to the bottom half of the paper, which is arguably shorter than the opposing top half “-then i'll do the rest”

“You sure? You have way more to type out” You look away from the sheet to find her looking at you with a questioning look “I’m just saying- it is a shared project afterall”

“I'm sure. I could probably be done before you anyway”

“That sounds like a challenge…”

Haerin tilts her head, her eyes reflecting the sparkle of the overhung lights,"Take it how you will”

Not even moments later, you were half done with your smaller section, though the distraction of students behind you was making your job a sufferable task. They were too loud. However, that wasn't the only present distraction. You hadn’t come to notice it, but the rapid clicking of Haerin’s manicured fingers had you half in a daze. It was clear she was completely focused on her task, possibly speeding ahead as you pause for a moment to look over at the sheet for a catch-up before resuming with your typing. It’s only been a few minutes anyway, it's not like-

“I’m done” Your hands freeze as you turn to evaluate her screen, and sure enough, every word, every letter, every piece of punctuation was present on the screen. How? What she wrote was near enough a thousand words- or so you were assuming. “How about you? Are you almost done too?”

“Uh… yeah, almost. I’m just on the final paragraph” You look away as the tips at either side of her mouth curl up in a soft smile. You take a second to take a deep breath, eyes readjusting to the word you left off on.

“Oh- Y/n?” You nod, keeping your eyes strictly trained on your keyboard “Would you mind coming to the coffee shop with me later? I’d like to start as soon as possible if that's okay with you and your schedule?”

“Sure” you breathe out, trying to release any nerves.

“Is after school okay? I’ll meet you outside your classroom last period”

“That's fine, I have biology last. It's the last room at the far end of the corridor ”

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

: Dating in a high school full of love thirsty teenagers was never really something you wanted. But of course, things change- and you learnt that in more ways than one. Kim Minji, one of the more popular students. Hong y/n, probably the most invisible person alive. They couldn't possibly be dating… or maybe they could be? You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: [𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍]

@jeindall777 @zuhasfavwife @thefckghost @everydayiloveyves @nasyu-kookies @justdelulumeh @feb14-kid

@ehcyps @imjeyjjey @winteresss @haechansbbg @urwyf3

@idkwhatim-doinghere101 @imahallucination11 @sserajeans @lesleepyyy @jennasluma @kaypanaq

@petruchiosstuff @pandafuriosa60 @haexrin07

#minji #kim minji #minji x reader #newjeans #newjeans minji #newjeans kim minji #minji smau #newjeans x reader #kim minji x reader #kim minji smau #newjeans smau #kazuha #chaewon #eunchae #le sserafim

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writingforatwistedworld · 1 year

Note

Ah, I hope this isn't annoying, but I couldn't resist! I just read the request for the self-aware au, for a player who is actually a god and I really LOVED the idea!!! So if it's not too much trouble, could I ask for the exact same idea only with Ruggie, Riddle and Ace?

By the way, I love your blog and your work, I love your creativity!! ❤️❤️❤️

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsebility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, religion, obsessiveness, murder, blood, beheading, violence, death

My works are not meant to be taken seriously. Neither am I telling you in what kind of religion you are supposed to believe in.

Riddle Rosehearts/Ace Trappola/Ruggie Bucchi-Player is a real god

God of law and order

Oho, so we are actively trying to make him loose his mind (mhm good plan good plan)

I mean, come on, the Queendom of roses is a place I would rank “third-most-not-so-fluffy-relationship-with-you” and he grew up in there so what did you expect?

Something normal? Ha! You are making me laugh

But here we are, croquette master with a hedgehog in his hand in person, almost dropping his needely friend

But how did he even find out? Well… Leona. Leona and a lot of ink (you catching my drift, right?)

Things were looking south and everything was just so…. so… unruly

Mhm I can see how a God of law and order popped a blood vessel in that kind of situation

And whilst you aren’t some kind of being creating bloodshed and war getting hit by a rule book and whatever kind of abilities you have has to hurt

Also it was giving away who you truly were

I mean, yay? Now you have an (somehow possible) even more obsessive follower…

And they all wonder why he suddenly became so religious

Even if you are a more “chill” kind of entity concerning your field of work (the market of Gods is always having too little workers) he is still like “Nope Trey. Imma go pray to ruler number 168” or something like that

Like I said, religious

But oh dear heavens (u get it heavens in like… ok I’ll stop) someone disrespects you or tries to take his seat as “most devoted follower of the month”

Uh… he was in the mood for a “realistic” demonstration of how the Queen of Hearts would deal with annoyances

Just tell him that you are proud… otherwise I’m not sure that even the hedgehogs would tolerate him and his… rather red behaviour

God of trickery

Hmm… this one is kinda tricky

You see, he is from the Queendom of Roses but at the same time he is not powerful enough to do that much damage… with magic at least

When Ace found out that you were everything but a ordinary student you two were in a rather unhappy situation

I mean, either you make that huge glass thingy behind Riddle trip and fall or you can eat rose bush which it was swinging around like crazy… pick your poison

Ace isn’t the fatest tool in the shed but when you, a magicless student, suddenly used something akin to magic he knew that something was up

And who would have known, maybe if it wasn’t for the bad parenting of Riddles mother you may have hidden this until the day you would go separate ways

But oh well, seems like fate decided it wanted him to be religious

I mean, a God of trickery, something like that is perfect for him!

Not to mention that you are way more approachable than some God of law and order because who would want to follow such a stiff deity? (Jokes on you Ace but Riddle...)

Despite him being on the “chill, man” side I can also see a huge spike in religiousness in his personality

I mean, come on, it’s now literally proven with his own two eyes that God (or Gods) at least exist

You know that meme “he don’t but-YES IT DOES!” that’s him

My man just turns feral when someone dares to take your prescious attention and time away from him

Literally a menace, and not the peaceful kind

Before you know it he is asking you if you can help him dig holes for a “garden project”

In the middle of the woods. Aha. Totally believable

Well, all I can say is that Trey will probably miss the kitchen knife... yeah I would buy a new one and never use the old one again...

You know... Maybe the cake looks a bit red if he were blind and never noticed anything.... It's a “garden project”, ok? Let the man raise his Gladiolus, Aconitum, Lycoris and Chrysanthemum

God of kindness and equality

So we feeding the carnivores today? Sounds like a plan. Not a good one but at least it is one

Ruggie has always been someone who needed to clench his teeth and do stuff other people wouldn't do simply to have his basic needs fulfilled

So imagine you standing there one day, opening up that you are in truth literally the things he had been craving all his life for

Mhm, I am just had he doesn't have rabies. You could have fooled me with how aggressive he becomes towards new people (and also your own little circle to be honest) after finding that out

Here we are, Leona is dealing with his stuff in an unhealthy way and someone needs to step up and bring him down to earth again

But imagine his surprise that you were actually the good of kindness after you slapped our local lion who may or may have not escaped from the Zoo next door back into reality (and out of his doom)

After he spends even more time with you it starts to make sense thought

Even though he is the closest person to Leona which could be used for someone's benefit people still tend to be at least wary of him because... well broken bones hurt, you know?

But here you are, holding out your hand to him, offering him your kindness and friendship

Though you could have said “marry me” because win his eyes that is exactly what you did

And who is he to say no to such an perfect being literally being from heaven (or whatever higher place)

He is scratching, biting, kicking and using all the dirty tricks in the book just to keep you alone, isolated and all for himself

Of course he won't do that in front of you, he isn't a monster! Such a pure and perfect being lime you doesn't need to witness such a thing!

If you thought that Diasomnia is already bad then I would say yes, he is only a teeny tiny bit better than them

Why? Oh well, he doesn't have the magical or physical strength to start a war

That doesn't mean he won't leave you alone

Oh no

You will spend somewhere the rest of the time he exists in a small in the middle of nowhere thinking that everyone despises you

He has a way with words (and sharp, suspiciously red teeth) you know?

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rosy-crow · 19 days

Text

Yeah, after watching the teaser, I’m really starting to think Square is doing the Arcane thing.

I’ve been talking about it with @altocat for a while now, and I feel like it’s starting to get real. So, this is just gonna be my final theory for the story until proven otherwise.

Spoilers for Arcane: League of Legends, but for anyone that doesn’t know, basically Arcane adapted LOL and developed one of their most iconic villains, Jinx, into a very well-written character with a story that showed you exactly who she was and why she eventually lost her mind. Before this show, she was probably about as developed as Seph was in the OG.

Even though Jinx is more flamboyant and emotionally chaotic, she and Seph are weirdly similar villains from what I’ve seen. Seph reminds me a LOT of Jinx and vice-versa. I’ve even drawn them together and compared their designs—it’s funny how mad villains in video games tend to have key similar design points, even down to hair-styles and clothing, but I’ll save that for another post lol.

Anyway, from the FS teaser it looks like we have a big climax in that ultimately leads to this scene with Seph and Rosen, who have been set up to be mirrors of each other.

All I know is that the trailer showed Rosen telling Seph to make a choice about which life he wanted to save (Japanese version made this a bit clearer), and the other lives in danger are Team Glenn. Seph is gonna have to choose between them, and….well, since we know Team Glenn lives….uhh…and also….

Rosen’s dog is trying to alert the others of something. Seph made a choice or did SOMETHING, and I thiiiink it’s gonna result in Rosen’s death. Whether it was intentional or an accident, we don’t know, but it’s clear this is when sane Seph when was still good and caring, even if a little psychologically stunted and conditioned because of Shinra. He’s been consistently this way throughout the First Soldier and doesn’t change until Nibelheim.

But I get the feeling everything went wrong with Rosen. That’s why Glenn is at odds with Seph years later.

This is also why we’re getting Arcane vibes. If it’s a misunderstanding or rift caused by Seph’s intentions to save his friends…well, that’s very familiar to this notorious Arcane scene:

Basically, Jinx…or Powder, as she’s known here, makes a drastic decision to save her friends and sister from genuine danger. However, her own talents are her worst enemy, and she causes twice as much destruction as the enemies her friends were struggling with. Almost everyone ends up dead, except for Powder’s sister. It was a horrific mistake and creates a massive rift between Powder and Vi (that’s the sister).

Vi also cements the idea in Powder’s mind that she’s a “jinx” or a curse of sorts. A complex that Powder had already been struggling with, and one she later embraces as her persona.

Glenn and young Sephiroth have been established to have a bit of a brotherly relationship so far, with Glenn being the down-to-earth and honest older source of influence. There was also the whole arc between these two revolving around Glenn initially calling Sephiroth a “cyborg” as an insult to say the kid was modified and different, not a “normal human.” This lowkey came off like a deliberate reference to Sephiroth’s later meltdown over not being human, yeah?

So you guys see what I mean, the themes here are similar to Arcane and Jinx’s psychology. If Seph makes some fatal mistake or a bad choice to save his team, and they walk in on this? Or get the wrong idea? Yeah, it’s gonna turn what was supposed to be an act of heroism into something much worse. It’s also gonna be the perfect reference to Seph’s later big moment in canon…errr, Nibelheim itself, where he just embraces inhumanity and finally goes berserk against everyone’s expectations, traumatizing the main protagonist and his eventual rival in the process.

Again, the theme of “tragic mistake paralleling or foreshadowing a villain’s first deliberate act of cruelty and evil” would be VERY similar to what happens with Jinx in Arcane.

I’m not saying SE is doing this on purpose, really, but the shared themes of identity collapse and “monsters you created” between Arcane and FF7’s main “mad villains” are interesting. Their stories obviously will play out differently, but it wouldn’t surprise me if The First Soldier ultimately culminates in a life-altering decision that Sephiroth makes, one that does NOT end well and births that conflict between him and Glenn.

That’s my theory for now. These teasers are convincing me more and more. We’ll see.

#i wonder if i’m right but i have the biggest gut feeling #also do NOT ask me about jinx and seph parallels i will never stfu #fjghfh #they are my favorite evil children #but GOD their stories hurt me #i’m ready for this to come full circle #young sephiroth #sephiroth #miniroth #jinx #powder #arcane #ff7 #the first soldier #ever crisis #CrowPosts

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tiffanylamps · 2 years

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Beyond Evil: the Romantic Rain trope

Hello! Guess who's back on their shit again... Me!

When I first finished watching Beyond Evil/ 괴물 on 5/02/22 (yes, I know, it surprised me too during the last episode), I immediately started writing an essay about the show's queer subtext/queer coding. The essay is an analysis of episodes 1-8... and it's ridiculously long and unfinished (and probably never will be finished). This post includes the opening parts. I like them, so I have decided to share them. These opening thoughts surround the rain scene in episode two and how it is romantic in tone.

[I do have another bit analysing Dong Sik's queer coding, which I might post one day.] So, yeah, this is a part of a larger piece. So, that's why it feels a bit incomplete.

A disclaimer: ~ I use the word ‘queer’, a lot. But this is not meant as a derogatory/offensive term. But instead, is used by its reclaimed meaning: a generalised term to refer to someone who isn’t heterosexual.Also, all spellings of characters’ names are taken from AsianWiki.

(my very gloomy-looking screenshots)

Enjoy!

“Why are you doing this to me? Why?” Han Joo Won talking to Lee Dong Sik (episode 5).

Have you ever asked someone a question that they refuse to answer? Instead of giving you the information you want, they dance around it, jump to conclusions, and add the right amount of distraction; until you can’t even remember what you asked in the first place. This is a recurrence of Beyond Evil’s main characters Lee Dong Sik and Han Joo Won. Their conversations and arguments often spark one of them to ask a question that the other does not answer.

This happens numerous times throughout the first half of the series. Typically, these questions are of the following nature:

“Just what about me interests you so much?” Lee Dong Sik, episode 2

“It’s a dangerous thing to become attached to someone. Don’t you think?” Lee Dong Sik, episode 4

“Why can’t you leave me alone?” Lee Dong Sik, episode 5

(English translations taken from Netflix)

Oftentimes these questions are more for the audience to ponder on, rather than for the characters to outright answer. This is why they aren’t answered with verbal confirmation but instead, with the character’s actions.

In the thriller, crime, and mystery genres, it is usual to have a protagonist investigate and chase our anti-hero/sympathetic villain. Beyond Evil (otherwise known as Monster/ 괴물) uses this narrative trope as the basis of its storytelling: one hotshot young guy comes from the big city to investigate an older seemingly unhinged man of a crime he may or may not have committed. But over time, as the protagonist learns more, we get to see the shades of ambiguity that are bursting at the seams. Furthermore, both characters will be forever changed because of their relationship and the events that follow.

One element that makes Beyond Evil stand out from others within the same genre is that this story isn’t really about a small hometown murder. It uses the murders within this rural area as a canvas in which to tell the real story: love. One way this is proven is that the story focuses on the victims and their friends and families, and the overall community, instead of the killer(s).

Beyond Evil explores and showcases the Ancient Greeks’ philosophy of the seven kinds of love:

Eros: romantic love; passionate, lustful, the want for sexual intimacy Philia: friendship; affectionate, platonic, sweet and equal Storge: familial; strong bonds, kin-ship, unconditional Agape: altruism; empathy, selflessness, love for worldly experiences Ludus: new love; non-committal, flirtatious, playful Pragma: committed love; long-term relationships, companionship, maturity Philautia: self-love; self-esteem, self-worth, a necessity

(information source: https://www.wellandgood.com/greek-words-for-love/)

It is a story highlighting the importance of love: all the different kinds of love we encounter in our lives; how we are affected by them; what it looks like to live without love; including, when it's time to accept love and when it's time to let it go. But most importantly, sometimes, you can find love in the most unexpected place.

[But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s sprinkle some background information and analyse the first half (the first act, if you will) of Beyond Evil (episodes 1-8) and look at how Joo Won ended up broken-hearted in Dong Sik’s front garden.] Redacted for this post.

On the first watch-through of this show, the audience is told the story predominantly through Joo Won’s gaze; which is biassed and trifled with unreliable narration. Through his perspective, we are toyed with and encouraged to constantly doubt the other characters. The show expertly uses Alfred Hitchcock’s film theory Pure Cinematics for instilling doubt, harnessing the power of the editing process to define the visual narrative. In other words, the show creators displayed a key understanding of how the narrative changes with context.

The best example of this is the butcher shop sequence on the night of Kang Min Jeong's disappearance. We are first introduced to the sequence from Joo Won’s perspective: all of Dong Sik’s actions are awkward and suspicious, and we over-analyse his movements and actions/inactions to come to the conclusion that he’s done something. Then later on in the show, we revisit this sequence from Dong Sik’s perspective and yes, he has done something but not what we were led to believe. All of his awkward and suspicious behaviour becomes a painful and morally grey experience, where the audience feels great sympathy for him.

The context defines the narrative. Without the full context, we do not get the full story.

And only with the full context, can we look past the structure of the piece and unveil the answers to the questions that are asked... we reveal the truth.

Whilst rewatching the show, the viewing experience is completely different. All the pieces are already fitted into place, so I spent less time trying to decipher and instead, leisurely trying to digest. The experience is nowhere near as suspenseful but far more gut-wrenching. This is because the viewer already has the full story - the full context - everyone’s actions and inactions are accounted for: we know why x was acting sketchy in episode y because of what they did 20 years ago, and so on.

When everyone’s actions are accounted for it is a lot easier to follow the story from Dong Sik’s perspective. We see the injustices that innocent people go through more harshly, we also see the cruelty of the guilty from the get-go. We are able to focus on the smaller details of people’s relationships, instead of thinking about the big picture. We are also able to take the time to truly understand the visual language the creators are showing us and how that shapes the narrative.

There is one sequence that comes to mind that is told purely from Joo Won’s perspective. There is no dialogue during this particular sequence of shots, so the audience is completely reliant on the visual language to understand what is being conveyed. This scene is greatly important for the show as a whole, as it gives us an uncensored look into Joo Won’s thoughts. Without it, the narrative of the story would be different, as it adds context to Joo Won’s actions later on in the series. That scene is from episode two.

iii

Joo Won and Dong Sik are on patrol, still getting used to each other as partners. One) because their personalities clash and two) because Joo Won is actively investigating Dong Sik for murder, which is just hanging there between them. They stop their patrol to help a disabled young adult who is lost in the rain. Dong Sik takes charge of the situation because he is better equipped at interacting with disabled people and the people of Manyang (and the wider Munju area) as a whole. This scene is one of the most important as it is an untainted humanisation of Dong Sik’s character, giving the audience (and Joo Won) a first glimpse into who Dong Sik really is.

Up until this point, Joo Won has only seen Dong Sik as a character: the killer; “the suspect” as Dong Sik later describes it. He vehemently dislikes him but still has a misguided interest in Dong Sik’s life. But this suddenly is challenged. Standing there in the rain, with no shoes on, smiling at the young man who is dancing, we get to see what Joo Won sees for the first time: kindness, humility, and beauty.

It’s a glitch in the system.

This scene is slightly baffling. It poses the question of what the creators are truly trying to tell its audience. Is it that these two characters work best when they are unified and Joo Won’s assumptions of Dong Sik are wrong?... Well, yes ... but also, of course, hiding in plain sight is the subtext that Joo Won is gay/queer.

Which point takes paramount importance? It would seem that in this scene it’s the subtext. We see why this is so through the sequence of shots:

After the situation has been assessed by the pair and they have come to an agreement. Joo Won goes to the shop to get supplies to help with the young man and when he returns, we, the audience, are faced with a sequence of ever-closing in close-up shots. With each cut, the camera is showing us what Joo Won is choosing to focus on; where his eyes are gravitating. What is odd about the sequence is the information that is chosen to be shared: Dong Sik's feet, the umbrella, the smile: kindness, humility, beauty.

Joo Won returns to the pair and falters, he seems shocked into stillness. Which almost seems frivolous, as Joo Won is already privy to two-thirds of the information being presented.

Joo Won already knew that Dong Sik had given his shoes to the young man.

He knew about the umbrella because he is the one who gave it to Dong Sik to use.

Then… they cut to a slow-motion close-up of Dong Sik’s smiling face, rain behind him and sunshine kissing his face. This last shot is the only piece of information we didn’t have before Joo Won went to the shop because it’s Joo Won’s thoughts at that moment. It’s no longer information that can be detailed in a police report but a deeply human moment. He has digested the information in front of him and this is his conclusion: beauty.

This screams romantic undertones- especially with the knowledge that rain is often used as a romantic trope in visual media. “Rain seems to go along with pivotal moments in characters' lives. It's implied that if you can ignore bad weather and brave the elements, then your big moment is even more real and intense and genuine. If you want to be deserving of your love, you won't care if it's raining, you will rush out into the rain to be with her or him-” tvtopes.org, Romantic Rain.

This trope is used often within Korean media, especially within the romance genres. So, it is a visual language that is common knowledge with Korean audiences. It is less likely to be seen within the crime and mystery genres, so it speaks volumes that the creators decided to include it.

Here are three examples of Korean dramas that use the Romantic Rain trope to show the protagonists have romantic feelings for one another:

Legend of the Blue Sea: offering an umbrella as protection/taking someone into your care Flower of Evil: Hee Sung allows himself to become soaked because of his feelings Goblin: slow motion shot of the characters passing one another in the rain

How Beyond Evil uses the same visuals within this scene:

Protection: Joo Won gives Dong Sik an umbrella and forensic shoe covers Soaked: Joo Won stops mid-run to stare at Dong Sik in the rain, seemingly awestruck/concerned Slow-motion: Joo Won’s perspective in the following sequence of close-ups is in slow motion

This scene is not the moment that Joo Won realises the extent of his feelings for Dong Sik. It is used as supporting evidence for the later conversations Joo Won has with Park Jung Je and Nam Sang Bae. In which he is asked by both of them why he cares so much about the cold case (in which Dong Sik is his suspect). To which, Joo Won replies the first time he’s asked:

“This is Lee Dong Sik’s–”

He shouts this and has to stop himself, calming down to answer that he’s determined to solve the cold case because one of the victims is Lee Dong Sik’s sister. The key person in that answer is Lee Dong Sik. He is the reason Han Joo Won cares so deeply [and because of his own personal involvement] about a case that no police officer would try to solve: “-there isn’t a single cop in the country that would prioritise such a case.” [Park Jung-Je.]

Han Joo Won is a determined person. When he sets his mind to something, he will achieve it, even if it upsets other people or hurts himself. He’s a person who cares deeply about things and can become easily fixated. If the creators wanted us to see Joo Won’s actions deriving from a place of spite or a self-righteous need for the truth, they would never have used the Romantic Rain trope.

Following the scene in the rain, Joo Won chooses to not act upon what he felt then and instead, suppresses his feelings. It makes sense. He’s experiencing attraction (eros) for his murder suspect; the man that he has been obsessing over; the man who only now is more than just a character to him. He is becoming a human and a very attractive one, at that.

Joo Won doesn’t know what to do with that newfound knowledge. So… he starts to lose his cool. This is obviously aided by other factors…

Without this scene, and those particular shots, Joo Won’s intense interest in Dong Sik and his mental decline over the next two episodes wouldn’t make as much sense. When we take the queer subtext into consideration, it makes the puzzle pieces fit all that bit more snuggly. It gives us the knowledge that Joo Won has humanised Dong Sik in his mind, he likes what he sees and he doesn’t know how that fits around his rigid moral compass… and what Joo Won knows about himself because really this scene is more about Joo Won discovering himself than it is about Joo Won discovering Dong Sik.

---

Look how devastated he is. This man has literally stalked the very handsome man he's staring at, has taken pictures of him, has said pictures on his tablet/printed out, spends his days staring at these pictures whilst biting his lip- then gets all bent out of shape because he realises he's attracted to him?? Baffling.

That is it for that scene's analysis, I remember writing more but I must have deleted it at some point. Anyway, hope that was entertaining and easy to read (I have the tendency to ramble on/make grammatical errors haha).

See ya!

#beyond evil #jtbc beyond evil #han juwon #han joo won #lee dongsik #jwds #sir is it gay to use romantic tropes #whilst staring at your murder suspect??#look how beautiful jw thinks ds is!#my guy is doomed #beyond evil analysis

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sunspray-peak · 7 months

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Ch. 59: Easy

SATURDAY - WINTER 13

As much as Achilles loathed the snow, it had proven to have somehow gifted him a rather peaceful and productive series of days. Though perhaps it was less the snow, and more… Alex. Nothing else—no one else, really—he’d encountered in Stardew had quite managed to calm the rollercoaster of this past year as well as Alex had.

Was he thinking about him? Likely not—the kiss he’d left behind had been, objectively, clearly more jest than anything else. Regardless, Achilles hadn’t allowed idle speculation to distract him from the duties at hand. Holed up in the temperate climate of his well-heated home, he had neglected to shovel his 2 acres of land, opting instead to sit at his desk with a cat in his lap and a pen in his hand. It wasn’t a novel he was writing, however—no, his brain still refused to respond in that regard—but letters. Letters to family, letters to old friends, letters to himself.

But the blinding, glowing sun cutting through his windows early Saturday morning had managed to melt with its golden cheer even his hatred for the cold. And so, shortly after 6am, Achilles threw on a robe and made himself a cup of tea before tottering his stiff joints to the front door. A breath of fresh air couldn’t hurt. Perhaps he’d do some bird watching on the porch or… something.

But it seemed that someone else had had similar ideas.

“What the fuck—god dammit—” This was really getting out of hand—really ought to get a lid for your mugs at this rate, or a thermos… Achilles wiped his sodden sleeve across his porch swing’s wooden plank of an armrest. It did not help, and now his hand was scraped as well as scalded. “Really, Alex we ought to put a bell on you, with this little habit of yours, just loitering around on my porch—you can knock, you know.”

“Oh—geez, I’m sorry, not my fault you’re so jumpy, I’m sorry—I wasn’t sure if you’d be awake—”

“I’m always awake. It’s a real problem.” Achilles clicked his tongue and nodded for Alex to take a seat on the swing before noticing the six inches of snow piled on the cushion. “Come inside. I suppose I’ll have to make myself another cup now, would you like one?”

“Oh. No, I can’t stay long. First day on the new job, wanna get there early… I just wanted to… stop by. Say hi.”

“Oh yes! Mr. Manager.” Achilles glanced to the east where the bus stop lay beyond the borders of Strawberry Farms. Even shielding his eyes, he still had to squint to make out Alex’s halting footsteps breaking up the otherwise untouched snow. “Damn. You trudged through all that just to say hi?”

“Well, in my defense, I expected you to’ve shoveled the path.”

“Yikes. Me? Big mistake—”

“—yeah, I see that now—”

“—I assumed it’d be, I don’t know, a government responsibility. How long does it take snow to melt?”

“Why would the government be shoveling the snow on your farm, Ash?”

“I don’t know, listen, I hail from desert country—”

“Ohhhh, I see, did the government shovel sand out of your driveway in Monstera? Because you might just be getting that mixed up with being rich.”

“Yeah, yeah, all right…” Achilles chucked a halfheartedly constructed snowball that Alex easily dodged. “Now what do you want? Everything okay? What brings you lurking like a gremlin on my porch this early in the morning?”

“No, everything’s fine, I was just… hoping to catch you.”

“Well. You caught me.” Achilles glanced down at his still-wet sleeve. It was too cold for this, and he likely needed a bandage.

Alex bit his lip before reaching into his coat—Yoba, really, it was quite unfair how one could make such a simple, innocent little hand motion look so seductive. He withdrew a pale green envelope and offered it forward. “I, um. I wrote you a letter—”

“Did you steal that from Lewis? I swear he has the same stationary—”

“—I just figured I’d hand deliver it since, you know, you never open your dang mail, you punk.”

“A thing like that! You know, that’s probably the most considerate thing a person has ever done for me this whole year.” With a squirrelly little smile, Achilles slipped his pointer finger smoothly under the envelop flap before catching sight of Alex staring rather alarmingly wide-eyed, as if petrified, at the letter between his hands. “Or… shall I open it later?”

“Oh—um—no, that’s all right, you can go ahead. Actually, no—yes. Later. Actually, you know what, I’ll just read it to you.”

Bemused but chuckling lightly, Achilles offered the envelope back. But Alex only shook his head.

“Man, I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m sorry. I’ll just tell you what it says.”

“So… no one’s opening the letter…?”

Alex shook his head again, ran a hand through his hair—a few strands broke loose from whatever gel or product he must’ve used to style it this morning. Being manager demanded a fresh new look, it seemed, but Achilles bit back his smile—didn’t seem appropriate, given that Alex seemed close to hyperventilating on his front porch.

Instead, Achilles pocketed the letter, which seemed to be the main source of Alex’s unusually pale visage, and asked, “Are you… okay…? You sure you don’t… want some… tea?”

And just like that, it was as if a light switch had been flicked. Alex smiled and, cocking his head slightly, chirped, “Would you like to get dinner tonight?

“What?” Achilles took half a second to register the dissonance regarding the degree of joy that had accompanied this rather banal question. He’d been expecting something much more dramatic—Lewis’ last will and testament, perhaps… “Dinner? …Sure. Is any place going to be open, though? With all the snow? Still seems quite deep.”

“Yeah, the government does actually shovel public property, if you must know—”

“All right—”

“I checked with Gus on the way here, the Stardrop’s open. If that works. For you.”

“What time?”

Alex blinked several times before asking, “6:30?”

“Sure.”

“Yeah?”

“…yeah…”

Alex beamed. “Wow! Really? Great! Really great! Um. I’ll see you then!”

Achilles nodded slowly, his wet sleeve forgotten as his brain worked to stymie the confusion currently sweeping his brain as Alex bounded off the porch and nearly half-skipped off the farm. It was quite a few minutes before he retreated back indoors, where he promptly curled himself onto his couch beneath the portrait of two root vegetables and continued to think.

Alex, on the other hand, was halfway through his very first day as Orange Grove Fitness’ new manager before realizing that both the conversation he had spent all night constructing and the letter he had spent all morning writing had been completely devoid of quite a number of choice key words. And right at the end of his lunch break! Head buried atop his new desk, a ham and cheese sandwich scrunched in his fist as his (Achilles’) watch struck 2…

“Oh, you stupid idiot, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. Date. How in the heckity heck did you miss the word—”

*****

This was a date.

Surely, Alex had been asking him out on a date.

Now he hadn’t said the word date. But the man wouldn’t have chewed straight through his lip or hiked two miles through half-shoveled snow to hand deliver a hand written note just to ask Achilles to a simple dinner. Right? They’d had dinner a million times, there was definitely something different to this one. Right?

Stay calm, bitch!

The clues were clear—Achilles had written them down in his notebook to better organize his thoughts, and even if he set aside his own feelings, the whole situation was still quite objectively suspect. An ordinary request such as this would not have required such extra-ordinary efforts if the aforementioned ordinary request was, in actuality, an ordinary request. RIGHT?

But it just seemed so… sudden. Surely a near-platonic peck on the nose couldn’t have triggered something to this extent? He had hoped the letter would be more explicit, but it unfortunately hadn’t revealed much either.

Hi Achilles! Hope you enjoyed your first ever snow day. Or snow week, really. How many crosswords did you get done? I bet you made the most of it, but if you didn’t, that’s cool, too.

I know this mihgt seem really sudden, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past couple of days, and I would love if you met me in the saloon tonight for dinner. 6:30pm if that works.

Hope to see you then! :-)

Best,

Alex.

He’d have given the man a call to clarify if it hadn’t been his first day on the new job.

Oh, Alex, Alex, Alex…

Achilles was calm. He was always calm, right? He’d just… act normal. Follow Alex’s lead. Yes. This was going to be fine.

But he made sure to clean his room. Just in case.

*****

Alex—well the whole town, really—always claimed he overdressed, so even if this wasn’t a date, the embroidered bomber jacket Achilles had adorned wouldn’t have raised any alarm bells.

It would be best not to get his hopes up, though. Just in case. But as Achilles trudged through the half-shoveled snow to the saloon, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

Emily welcomed him the moment he stepped foot in the saloon, her eyes glittering as she took his arm. Haley, he saw, was coincidentally paying the Stardrop a rare visit today, having claimed a booth to herself despite the crowds and its accompanying damp, musty scent. She pursed her lips when he made eye contact, gave a wily little wiggle of her shoulders—really, quite remarkable how up in his business that button nose of hers could reach. He responded with a venomous grin and a raised middle finger. Incredibly impolite, of course, but he was only returning what she’d given him many a season ago.

Achilles followed Emily down the back hall to where the private rooms lay (So… definitely a date, right?), where they stopped at the very last door.

“Right along in here… oh, and would you look at that, I forgot to bring the menus. You go on in, I’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, all right, Emily…”

As she dashed away, arms held aloft like a ballerina, he took a deep breath, then pushed the door open.

Immediately, Alex, who had been seated at a small table in quite a small private room, jumped to his feet, tripping over the wooden chair as he half-stumbled for the door. “Hey!”

Oh fuck.

Outside of the Flower Festival back in the Spring, Achilles had rarely seen Alex out of activewear and athleisure. The sight of those arms now, tight in the sleeves of a forest green cardigan, would’ve alone been enough to send even Leah’s heart racing, surely. But the lightly patterned, sage button down—well. A man after his own heart.

Alex’s hair was combed back, tidier than he’d ever seen it (though a part of Achilles did miss the casual, semi-messy curls of it all), and as he shut the door behind him, he noticed something more akin to vanilla and cinnamon had replaced Alex’s usual citrus scent.

But Achilles quickly found his breath and shook himself out of his reverie, taking a step forward just as Alex finished picking up the chair he’d sent keeling to the floor.

“Hi—”

“This-was-supposed-to-be-a-date-but-if-you-don’t-want-it-to-be-one-I-completely-understand-I-didn’t-mean-to-ambush-you-I’m-just-really-stupid-just-tell-me-whatever-it-is-you-want.”

But Achilles could only blink, lost in Alex’s rather anxious, wild-eyed stare, eyes greener than ever in the rosy overhead lighting.

Did you hear that right? It is a date—you were right, good for you. Wait. He definitely said date, right? He said it was a date. Confirm? Confirm— “Pardon?”

“Also these are for you. I mean, if you want them.”

Alex half-shoved a cellophaned bouquet into Achilles’ hands. Half a dozen white roses and goldenrod wrapped in a emerald green ribbon. Not Pierre’s work, or even Jojamart’s. No, someone must’ve paid a visit to a Zuzu City florist.

Date?

Yes! Date!

Man, you gotta say something, bitch.

“Oh. Thank you. These are… beautiful. Thanks. Yes. A date. I… assumed.”

Assumed? Assumed? My god, what an arrogant prick you are. Get it together. What’s the matter with you?

He accepted the flowers from Alex, and in a sudden flash of inspiration, let his fingers linger on Alex’s for perhaps one or two seconds longer than necessary as the bouquet was passed between them. The effect was instantaneous—at this apparent affirmation of Achilles’, Alex’s visibly brightened, bounding back to the dinner table and pulling out Achilles’ chair for him.

“Wow,” he exclaimed, scooting the chair forward as Alex hurried to the other end of the table. “I didn’t think people did that anymore. You do this for all the girls or just me?”

“Don’t feel too special, I do that for everyone.”

“Damn. At least tell me I’m prettier than all the other girls you’ve dated.”

“You know I don’t like lying, Ash, don’t make me do it.” Alex grinned, handing him a menu that Emily evidently had not forgotten to leave behind.

“Zero for two. Well, it was worth a try.” God, shut up. He must’ve been more nervous than he realized. Babbling like this. Stupid jokes. Chill out, man. Why are you nervous? You’re never nervous! No reason to be nervous. He asked you out… you have all the power here. Yoba, shut the fuck up! Stop thinking like that! What’s wrong with you? Asshole!

Achilles’ poker face was near to breaking as his self-disgust began to overwhelm his nerves, but he was luckily rescued by Emily, who had returned with a knock at the door. “No violin today, Al?” She shimmied in with her question, ignoring Alex’s groan, and raised her notepad, ready to take their orders.

“I haven’t had Gus play the violin for me in 10 years, Emily, when is that joke ever going to die—”

“Ask him about the violin,” she said, bumping Achilles’ shoulder with her hip. “And the Handbook.”

“Emily—”

“Now just a warning for ya, it’s a bit busy tonight. Seems like lots of folks eager to get out after the storm, but Gus’ll get your order out shortly. Now what can I get for y’all?”

A steak for Alex, linguine with mushroom cream for Achilles—with her usual spritely bow, Emily scampered from the room, leaving Alex still red from whatever merciless ribbing she had dealt him.

“So,” Achilles began, lifting his glass of water. Perhaps a cold drink would wash away his lingering anxieties, though Emily’s return had broken most of the tension for him. “The violin…”

With the defeated air of getting something over with, Alex took a similar swig from his water before launching into a hurried, one-breath explanation. “My grandpa gave me a dating handbook when I turned 13, and yes, I will admit I followed it pretty religiously up through college, so Haley really got to see the worst of it all, and she and Emily have never gotten over it, but hey, in my defense there’s some stuff in there that’s really not half bad, I swear.”

“Like giving your date flowers? And pulling out their chair?”

Alex grimaced.

“Well shit, Al, I’m feeling less and less special by the second.”

Here, Alex seemed to visibly deflate, sinking deeper into the back of his chair until Achilles, rather alarmed by the somewhat uncharacteristic lack of confidence—maybe he’s nervous, too, bitch—rapped his fingers sharply against the table. “I’m just joking, Al. Sorry, I’m being an ass, it’s very… charming.”

That seemed to be enough to pull Alex back to his usual self, and Achilles quickly plowed ahead, making sure to keep his tone light. “But the violin Emily mentioned?”

“Ah. Yes.” Alex rubbed his nose, preparing his next words carefully as if gearing up for the worst. “Well, if you must know… according to the handbook, I’m supposed to start first dates with a little sort of violin serenade from Gus.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“I really wish I was.”

“And you actually… did that.”

“Oh, just a few times. I don’t know man, my only source of dating advice when I moved here was my really old and old fashioned grandpa.”

“Fair enough. I’ll allow it.”

Alex chuckled, and once again took a quick sip from his drink just as Achilles raised his own. A lull in the conversation—but not an uncomfortable one, Achilles thought, as he took the opportunity to casually savor the view from over the rim of his glass. He hadn’t ever really allowed himself to do it before. It had always felt rather intrusive, salacious even, to stare for longer than a beat or so—but surely now, of all times, it was… okay. Right?

Clearly Alex had put in quite a bit of effort tonight, really, it felt wrong not to appreciate it all… anyway, it was hard to ignore those eyes sparkling from across the table, pink lips slightly parted as Alex readied himself to take probably his twentieth sip of water. Achilles could think of just a few other things he’d rather see those lips do, but he dug his thumb into his palm and refocused himself back to the present. You perv, he thought, his own lips twisting to the side as he attempted to hold back a wry grin. Get your mind out of the gutter.

It was Alex who broke the silence, with a tentative observation of his own. “You, um… you look really nice.” His fingers were locked tightly together as they rested atop the table, and through the floorboards, Achilles could feel the faint vibration of what must have been Alex bouncing his foot. “You don’t usually wear black.”

“I do in the Winter, you’ll see. It tricks me into thinking I’m less cold than I am.”

“Ha.”

“You look good, too.” Achilles threw a nod in Alex’s general direction. “Probably should’ve opened with that, I was thinking it when I came in, but I suppose the words didn’t get a chance to make it out of my mouth.”

“Oh!” A blush crept into the man’s cheeks as he glanced towards the floor. “Thank you. I- I wasn’t sure, personally, I told Haley I thought the sweater was too small, you know, but she, uh, she told me to shut up—”

“Always, such a lovely, lovely girl.” Achilles’ eyes followed the well-defined slope of Alex’s bicep. “But she’s right. Don’t worry. It’s perfect.”

“Well, I can’t really raise my arms…”

“Listen, I don’t know if you know this, but I actually come from a long line of really famous fashion designers, and by long line, I mean just my mother—”

“Man, you don’t know a dang thing about fashion—”

“Fuck, 0/3—I thought this was supposed to be a date, why are you being so mean to me?”

“I’m not—well because—because you’re so calm, why are you always so calm, it’s pissing me off.” With a barking laugh, Alex chucked his napkin across the table as Achilles, rather bewildered by Alex’s uncharacteristically off-base observation, flung his hands instinctively in front of his face.

“It’s incredibly kind of you to ignore the five mental breakdowns you’ve witnessed me have, is doing that part of your grandpa’s handbook, too?” But as Achilles slid the cloth back across the table, he became more serious, and he continued in a somewhat softer tone. “There’s no reason to be nervous, Al, it’s just me. Just think of all the times I’ve humiliated myself in front of you, eh?”

That elicited a small smile, at the very least. But while Achilles’ anxiety had since settled for the most part, it seemed Alex would need more than a weak joke.

“Speaking of nerves though, how was the first day on the new job, Mr. Manager?”

Achilles gave himself a private pat on the back as Alex jumped at the redirection, the apprehension in his eyes rapidly melting as he eagerly shared his new schedule.

What a pro you are! Still got it…

The conversation carried them all through Emily’s return with their appetizers and dishes—and it was only after she left (with a rather unnecessary promise of “leaving them undisturbed”), that Alex’s hands, so animated during his recounting, returned to tightly gripping the glass of his water.

Achilles waited—as Alex would ruefully say—calmly. It was clear he had something to say.

And indeed, Alex cleared his throat with the tiniest cough and, after a quick glance at the door to confirm they were indeed alone, pulled his chair an inch forward.

“Um. Right. Achilles. So. I thought I’d get a private room so we could… talk. I mean, not that we wouldn’t be able to talk if we didn’t have a private room, but it’s loud out there, and it’s what my grandpa’s handbook always said I should do anyway—I don’t know why I just admitted that, I’m sorry. Um, anyway, all that to say—you know, actually, I wrote myself some notes, sorry, give me a second…”

He fumbled with something in the pocket of his chinos as Achilles smothered another smile.

“This really makes me look like a nerd doesn’t it, but I just wanted to make sure I was… clear. About things. And didn’t forget anything, you know, especially after how stupid I was this morning. So if you could, um, maybe listen for a bit?”

Achilles gave a smooth, little nod that managed not to betray the twitch that had returned to his limbs. “For sure. The floor’s all yours.”

Alex grimaced and, taking a deep breath, unfolded a rather wrinkled piece of notebook paper and began to read aloud in a rather toneless, slow and slightly stuttered recitation.

“When we first met, I was instantly drawn to you. And it wasn’t just because I was your number one fan.” He glanced up. “Ha.” Eyes dropped abruptly back down to the page as he continued.

“I think a part of me knew we were destined to be great friends. And I was really happy when we actually did become friends. I had never had a friend like you. You were so smart and cool and you made me feel like I could actually do things with my life. I really liked spending time with you.

“And then during the blizzard, I…” The paper between Alex’s hands began to crinkle as his grip tightened ever so slightly, but he continued to stare, laser focused, on the scribbled words. “Well I started thinking that maybe I liked you as… more than a friend. It was confusing. I kept telling myself, ‘You can’t have these feelings for another guy.’ I mean, I’d never had feeling like this for anyone.

“But I thought about it a lot. Went back and forth a lot trying to decide, I was going crazy, really. And, well. I think I really like you. Like that. And that’s why I wanted to ask you out on a date to—what? Oh. I think I spelled ‘tonight’ wrong. Agh, stupid. Okay, anyway. And that’s why I wanted to ask you out on a date tonight.”

With a bit of a sniff, Alex folded the paper back into quarters and gave Achilles a rather awkward, teeth-baring attempt at a smile. It was the most unflattering he had ever looked, in Achilles’ opinion, and somehow that made it all the better. Alex patted his folded notes and ended with a little nod. “Well. That’s it.”

During the blizzard…

So this had been a much more recent realization than Achilles had originally believed.

Thank Yoba you didn’t make a move earlier.

Had it really just been the kiss on the Mullner’s front porch? It had barely been a kiss—couldn’t have been less romantic if he’d tried. Was that really all it had taken to ignite this? He’d taken barely three days to think this through. Though, then again, he supposed Alex had always been the more impulsive one between them… Not everyone spends a whole week anguishing over pros and cons lists, you dumb bitch.

“What was the turning point?” Achilles asked as Alex shoved the scrap of paper back into his pocket. “I’m just curious. These past few days, what made you ultimately decide that you… wanted this?”

“Oh. During the storm.” Alex shoved the scrap of paper back into his pocket. “I don’t know, I guess I just realized… I don’t know. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it would’ve been to have been snowbound with you.”

*****

After it became clear to Alex that Achilles was not going to escape out the back door of the saloon after hearing Alex’s prepared remarks, his usual optimistic countenance quickly returned. By the time the two dug into their dinners, they had managed to roll back into their usual groove, chatting and laughing with familiar ease all through dessert until Emily returned with the check.

“Oh, I’ve got it—”

“Like hell you do—”

“I was the one who asked you out, I should pay—”

“Emily, give me the check or I’m never coming here again—”

“That’s an empty threat if I’ve ever heard one, the only thing you cook yourself is a boiled egg.”

Emily seemed to agree. She hip checked Achilles’s outstretched hand and, with a rather hyena-like cackle, seized Alex’s card before dodging Achilles once again on her way out.

“You know, the Handbook says it’s proper for the man to always pay,” Alex said, snootily tossing his napkin onto his plate with a raised pinkie. “Now I don’t know what that means for us, exactly, but at least let me have this one, will you?”

Achilles rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest as he craned his neck in search of nothing. “The napkin’s actually supposed to go on the left when you’re finished with your meal, but never mind that. Where’s Gus? Can someone get Gus? I want a violin serenade pronto.”

*****

Haley had disappeared by the time the two emerged from the private room, but Achilles, who had eyes for only one person, didn’t notice her absence. Neither did he notice the thick clumps of snow now falling under the glow of the moon, even as Alex held open for him the Stardrop’s front door and said, “Want to take a walk? It’s not too late, I don’t think.”

“Sure,” Achilles said with a soft smile. The bouquet Alex had gifted him was in one hand, and he tightened his scarf with the other as he stepped out into the cold. “Just a walk, though? Not a run?”

“Oh, you want to run?”

Without waiting for a response, Alex tore down the cobblestone path to the south.

“Fuck—Al, you’re going to slip and break your neck—fucking athletes, I knew I’d sworn them off for a reason—“

But the wind covered his calls and his muttered curses, and he had no choice but to hurtle after Alex, laughing even as he skidded past a bewildered Lewis. He hadn’t jogged in a fat minute—not that he likely would’ve caught up to Alex anyway at his peak back in the Fall—but even despite the cold, he gave a merry chase, sprinting across the bridge until his foot found the soft, squishy crunch of slushy sand. There was snow on the beach. Of course there was—we just had a blizzard, you dolt.

But even so, the strange sight came a surprise. He stopped to take in the cool glow of the snow, a white sheet stretching all the way down to the waves up ahead. It wasn’t deep, but the dampness still managed to seep through his boots.

Luckily, the rest of him was all warmed up now, thanks to their mile race through Pelican Town. Whether that had actually been Alex’s intention, nervous energy, or the man just couldn’t help but exercise whenever given the opportunity, he wasn’t quite sure. Regardless, with a bit of a wheeze, he sidled up next to where Alex (who was infuriatingly not out of breath) stood waiting by Elliott’s cabin. The light was on, casting both arrivers in its mellow beam, but if the writer had noticed their arrival, he took care not to disturb them.

“Can I, um… can I hold your hand?”

“Hmm?” Achilles, who was still slightly bent at the waist catching his breath, glanced rather pitifully up at the green-clad figure above.

“I just… I just figured it’d make the whole thing feel a little bit more like a date,” Alex, slightly red, said with the barest hint of a shrug. “I don’t know, sorry, is that weird? We don’t have to. It’s just that… it’s just kinda felt like we’ve been… hanging out.”

“We are hanging out,” Achilles said, slowly straightening himself up. “I mean, if we break it down, that’s basically what a date is, right?”

“I guess…”

Achilles had never exactly loved the concept of holding hands—he sweat too easily and it threw off his stride—but off of Alex’s blink-and-you-missed-it frown, he weaved his arm through Alex’s and led him towards the boardwalk.

Remember what Elliott said…

Physical touch was never Achilles’ forte. It’s not that he disliked it. Quite the contrary (well, as long as it was in private). It was simply that non-sexual touch didn’t come as naturally to him as it did for others. Often more of an afterthought than something top of mind. But, as Elliott had reminded him, Alex, who greeted his friends with a hug nearly as often as he did a wave, would likely find more validation in something beyond the mere time they were spending together.

“Would you like to sit down?” Alex kicked a clump of snow off the wooden planks and into the water before laying down his coat and chuckling. “Shoot, I really feel like I’m 13. Yoba, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sorry, I promise, I’ve been on a lot of dates before—”

“Wow, we’ve got a veritable Casanova out here, everyone—”

“All right, that didn’t come out right, you know what I meant. Although I don’t really know what you meant just now—”

“You’re a big baller.”

“Okay, okay, no, I just… look, I just don’t know what to do. With you.”

“A thing like that. You know how to make a boy feel special. What does the Handbook recommend?”

Alex began to tick off his fingers as he huddled slightly closer to Achilles on the boardwalk. “Well we’ve had the dinner. I got you flowers. Pulled out your chair. Paid. Asked if we could hold hands. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but later I’m going to offer to walk you home if you must know.”

“That’s adorable—you’re adorable—has anyone on your numerous dates before ever told you that?”

“Man, I could beat you up.”

“Why are you always threatening to beat me up?”

“Wasn’t it you who once said that every child deserves to get bullied just a little bit or something?”

“Are you calling me a child?”

“Man, I’m just making up for lost time, you don’t seem like someone who got shoved into a locker enough as a kid.”

Despite the confidence in Alex’s quip, Achilles could feel the tension in the tightened muscles of his arm. The small space Alex had left between them had felt purposeful—tentative. Even now, Achilles watched as his hands fluttered from place to place, as if eager for something to hold, but too afraid to commit.

Realizing it would be up to him to reassure a flustered Alex out of his hesitation, Achilles closed the gap, tightening the grip around his bicep and tucking his head onto his shoulder. The whole thing was admittedly rather stiff in its deliberateness, but as he better settled into the crook of Alex’s neck—felt Alex, who seemed to recognized the permission Achilles had silently granted, now reach eagerly for his hand—and inhaled the rich, velvety scent of vanilla, he believed there wasn’t a spot in the world he’d rather be.

Minutes passed, and they listened to the waves crash against the shore.

“Do you think Elliott’ll stay in the valley? If his book gets published?”

“Hmm.” Achilles stirred—shit, had he nearly fallen asleep? Can’t fall asleep in your own damn bed, but everything’s always fine and dandy and soothing out here on this damp ass wood. What’s this boardwalk got on you?

Though maybe it wasn’t the boardwalk’s doing.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I’d like to think so. I hope he buys himself a better house at any rate… or at least a second chair…”

“Have you been writing?”

“Mmm. Not in the way you’re asking. Does it count if it’s in my head?”

“I don’t see why not. But hey, I don’t make the rules.”

Achilles sighed and lay slowly down, his back against the boardwalk as he gazed up at the stars. Alex followed, though he chose to lie on his side, one arm beneath his head, the other resting atop Achilles’ chest as his hand continued to grip Achilles’.

“I’ve got an idea. Well, it’s the same idea I had before, if you remember those pages you snooped a look at when you were cleaning my house… I’ve got it pretty much outlined in my head and everything, it’s just… well you know. I want it to mean something. I want it to matter, I want to finally write something… more than all those kid books I wrote when I was younger, those were so simple, so… stupid. I just don’t know why it’s so fucking hard.”

The stars twinkled above them, and Alex thumbed his hand. The soft touch, combined with the steady rhythm of the small movement, slowly sweetened the bitter hollow that seemed to have taken up semi-permanent residence in his chest.

“Sometimes I think we’ve built up this idea that we have to always be, like, fighting for the things that we want. That if something isn’t hard then it must be wrong or, like… I don’t know. Not important.” Alex was tracing letters onto the back of Achilles’ hand now. “But I don’t know, maybe it’s the lazy bum part of me but sometimes—and I promise, I do mean sometimes, not all the time… but sometimes I do think things are easy because they’re the right thing to do.”

Achilles turned his head. In the dark, Alex’s eyes were black, but under the glow of the moon, he could count the snowflakes on every lash.

*****

“Well. Here it comes, drum roll please, everyone: can I walk you home?” Alex gave Achilles a hand as they rose from the boardwalk and didn’t let go as they exited the beach.

“Only if you give me a copy of this Handbook later.”

“I actually wonder if I do have a copy somewhere still… I don’t know, I’ve pretty much got it memorized at this point.”

“Because you’ve gone on so many dates.”

“Yeah, exactly. I was a real Casa—Cassiopeia? What did you say before?”

“Casanova? Wait, did you say Cassiopeia—fairly niche mythological reference—”

“What can I say, I’m full of surprises. Anyway, whatever, I was hot stuff before you got to know me, you know.”

“Man, shut the fuck up, you were hot stuff even while I knew you, remember Abigail’s birthday party…”

The two laughed as they made their way back to Strawberry Farms, taking the slightly longer route through Cindersap Forest, despite the cold and the late hour.

Alex walked him to the porch. The motion sensor lights Achilles had installed nearly a year ago had flickered on the moment they passed the shipping bin, and so they stood awash in the weak fluorescence of a buzzing overhead lamp.

He was lingering—definitely lingering, biting his lip in typical Alex-fashion, his eyes dancing everywhere except Achilles’ face. And after a beat, Achilles—ever impatient—said, “All right, are you going to ask me if you can kiss me now?”

Alex jumped—actually jumped. “Oh.” Between rapid blinks, he managed to stutter, “Do you want me to ask you?”

“I—it was a joke.”

“Do you want me to?”

“It was a joke. You know, with the Handbook. I assumed you were just gearing up for Step 5 or whatever step we’ve reached…”

“Oh. No, I’m not supposed to kiss anyone until the third date. Obviously. Anything sooner is impolite and im… dang, what was the other word… immoral? Is that a word? Yes. Immoral. Obviously.”

“What?” Achilles stepped back, throwing a hand to his forehead in mock shock. “Fuck, so this whole time, my whole life—I’ve just been a slut? Shit, I always knew it—”

Alex laughed, but, to Achilles’ surprise, took a small, shy step forward. “Do you want me to ask you?”

Taking a page from Alex’s book, Achilles found himself biting his own lip as he met Alex’s inscrutable gaze. “I—Yes.”

A pause. And then, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

In one step, Alex closed the remaining foot between them. His hands gripped the back of Achilles’ neck, and with a boldness he had been so hesitant to demonstrate earlier this evening, Alex cupped his face and kissed him.

He tasted like vanilla and he tasted like gold and as Achilles let himself drown in the molten glow of his touch, he found he felt… happy.

But the kiss didn’t last long—barely a second, really, for Alex’s lips had almost instantly parted upon impact in that wide-toothed grin of his, his tongue peeking out per usual—and the two of them quickly dissolved into laughter.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Alex whispered, still half-laughing as he leaned his forehead into Achilles’. “That was… really bad. I swear I’m better than that—”

“Yeah, all that practice being hot stuff and all—”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I was born so dang se—”

“Stay the night.” But through the sleeves of a slightly-damp coat, he felt Alex stiffen, and so Achilles hurried to add, “We don’t have to do anything. I don’t expect anything. We can just talk. I just… I don’t want you to leave just yet.”

Immediately, Alex slackened as a small but earnest smile returned to his face.

“Ok.”

*****

Achilles put on some late night tea as Alex took a seat in the kitchen, Voltaire already snuggled in his lap.

Over the course of the blizzard, Achilles had finally moved the typewriter from where it had been sitting, like a monument to all his shortcomings, untouched upon the table. Not that he’d gotten around to taking it out of the box—it was now sitting underneath his desk, still packaged—but, hey, small steps.

Sitting in the center of the kitchen table now were a dozen white roses and goldenrod blooms in Achilles’ favorite (well, only remaining) vase.

“I can boil you an egg, too, if you’d like,” Achilles said, lips twitching as he slid over a cup of chamomile tea and a tray of strawberry scones he’d purchased from Pierre’s that afternoon.

“Ya know what, that sounds great, but I’m actually good. But thanks.”

It was easy—so easy to just sit here, together. He shouldn’t have expected anything less. It had always been easy with Alex.

They sat across the table from each other. Perhaps if Achilles had remembered Elliott’s advice, had been a little bit more thoughtful of a person, he would’ve moved closer—held Alex’s hand again, maybe bump his knee with his own. But in the moment, he was too drunk on his own happiness to give Alex’s prospective wants the consideration they likely should’ve deserved.

The scones and tea had long disappeared, but the two were eager to use any excuse to prolong the end of the evening—from walking through the schedule for Elliott’s book reading tomorrow to dissecting the latest season of The Bachelor (which neither of them actually watched, yet both were somehow still in the know), it wasn’t until the clock struck midnight that Achilles, in begrudging acknowledgment that any further delays would throw off his finely tuned sleeping schedule, slapped the table and stood.

“Well. I’ve got some extra toothbrushes and some clothes you can borrow, if that works for you. Ready to call it a night?”

*****

What is wrong with you.

It was Alex who was in the shower right now, but it was Achilles’ good mood that seemed to be dripping down the drain.

God, why can’t you just enjoy things, you bastard.

Surely he deserved to be happy, even if just a little bit, right? Yes, surely being happy was allowed. Then why was it now feeling like some sort of… betrayal?

Fuck, who is there even to betray, bitch? Get yourself together. No one wants to date a grump.

He needed to be better. Alex deserved better. Alex, who was like light and like stars. Alex, who was turning out to be everything and more than what he ever had hoped to imagine. He could be better, if this stupid ass mood of his would just go away.

Where did you even come from? Get out and mind your own damn business and let me be happy for once.

Lost in thought, he didn’t notice the water shutting off—neither did he hear Alex call his name as he stood sourly against the wall of his bedroom, half-dressed, still trying to duke it out with his own brain.

“Achilles? What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm?” He snapped his head towards the voice.

“You’re thinking about something.” Alex had emerged from the bathroom wearing a set of sweatpants and an old t shirt Achilles had found at the back of a drawer. “I can see it on your face, what is it?”

“Mmm.” Achilles massaged the bridge of his nose and set a glass of water down by the nightstand before opening the top drawer to retrieve something small. “Nothing I haven’t already thought pretty much to death.”

Alex cocked his head, a knowing look on his face as he padded around the bed to take a seat behind the desk. “Want to think about it to death with me?”

“I— No.”

“You sure?”

Achilles uncrossed his arm only to cross them again. “I mean, we’re on a date…”

“Sure, but we’re still friends, aren’t we?”

Fuck.

Always with the patience of a saint. He didn’t deserve him—hell, was there anyone on this planet who deserved him? And strangely, with this thought, as quickly as his mood had come did it fade. Maybe it was true that nobody deserved Alex, but for some unbelievable reason Alex wanted him, and he trusted Alex’s judgement, so hey, who was Achilles to deprive him of that?

“It’s fine. Really. Like I told you before, it comes and goes…. Here.” Achilles held out his hand, dropping the item he’d retrieved from his nightstand into Alex’s open palm. “This is yours. Held onto it for awhile there, didn’t I. Sorry about that.”

“Oh! Yes, thank you!” Alex rested his arm across his leg to better clasp the thin leather watch around his wrist. “Wow, I totally forgot—I guess you should probably take yours back, too, here—”

But before he could remove the smart watch, Achilles bent to snatch Alex’s wrist, holding his arm up tightly between them. The sharp movement triggered a rather equally sharp intake of breath from the watch-wearer, but Achilles pretended not to notice, biting back his smirk as he glanced at the steps recorded on the watch face—a higher number than he was used to seeing, that was for sure, even with all his jogs.

“Mmm. Actually. You want to keep it? You’re probably getting more use out of it than I did.”

“Oh no, that’s all right—”

“I’m not sure if this one’s waterproof, though… have you tried swimming with it?”

“Oh. Maybe? I don’t really remember taking it off. Sorry, was that bad?”

“Eh.” Achilles, his fingers still splayed taught around Alex’s wrist, unclasped the watch and chucked it behind him where it fell about a foot short of the nightstand.

“Good aim.”

“I’ll get you a newer one.”

“Achilles, no, stop, man, you don’t have to do that—”

“Shh, no, no, just let me buy you things, what else am I good for?”

But he said the words with a lazy smile, and after running his hand through his hair, bent to retrieve the smart watch from the floor.

When he turned back from the nightstand, he noticed Alex watching him with a curious, wide-eyed innocence quite at odds with the subject of his stare. Mirroring the characteristic tilt of Alex’s own head, Achilles, his lips twitching as he held in a laugh, slowly knelt until he finally caught Alex’s eye.

The man immediately flushed scarlet, shutting his slightly parted mouth with a snap as he turned quickly away from Achilles’ unclothed chest. “Ah—sorry.”

“For what? Making me feel good about myself?” Achilles chuckled, straightening back to full height. “Although you’ve watched me swim a million times, you should know there’s nothing nearly as impressive to look at as what you see in the mirror every damn day—”

“Stop that.” Alex aimed a light kick before jumping up from the chair and joining him by the nightstand. “I think you’re perfect, you know.”

“Aw, Alexander, aren’t you just the swe—”

“Just physically, of course. There’s still some work to do up here.” He tapped Achilles’ forehead.

“All right, bitch—”

But he silenced Achilles with a hand to his chest—except that wasn’t quite it, was it?

Fuck.

He could feel his body heat—or maybe it was his own body that was suddenly beginning to blaze. From anticipation? From impatience? For Alex’s actual hand was hovering just barely a centimeter above his skin.

Dammit, just touch me, Alex.

But before he could speak, Alex, his voice wavering slightly, murmured, “Can I?”

Always so damn polite.

“Yes.”

He wasn’t exactly sure what he had expected, but it definitely wasn’t for Alex to reach first for his hand, tracing each of Achilles’ fingers, the lines of his palm, slowly, as if savoring each divot and crease. It was, if he was honest, a little strange, but he said nothing, only breathed, ragged and rough, as Alex’s own fingers traveled up to his wrist, up his forearm, to his bicep where they lightly circled the band tattooed on his skin.

Achilles closed his eyes. Relished the callused touch upon his collarbone that burned even with the lightest brush. Gentle. Everything so gentle.

One hand slipped to his lower back, and Alex’s touch on his bare skin sent a quiver through his body—he felt Alex pull him closer, felt him rest his forehead against his own. His breath was warm, but smelled faintly of peppermint.

Alex’s thumb parted his lips with a tenderness Achilles had never before allowed himself.

“Can I try again?” The whisper tickled his ear and a velvet thrill itched his heart. “I promise it’ll be better this time.”

Achilles nodded.

And yet, despite it being his own ask, Alex’s hesitance seemed to have returned. A delicate, trembling sigh seemed to be serving as the entr’acte before this second at, and so it was Achilles this time who closed the gap.

Perhaps he should’ve been gentle, perhaps he should’ve been polite, but he wanted it and he had wanted it and Alex was here, asking for it—

Utterly helpless, a moth to Alex’s flame. Yet it was Achilles who pulled him in with the hunger of a dying fire and kissed him as if he were oxygen, like he was fuel. Electricity sparked through every vein as his hands raked through still-damp hair, along his neck, his shoulders, muscles taut and tight and touching him back—it was rash and reckless, and surely it was right—

But something nagging at the back of his mind managed to pierce through his desperate desire, and, not without difficulty, Achilles pulled himself away. To give himself a second to better regain control of himself, to give Alex a second to better decide—

Are you sure you want this, too?

He slowed his breathing, let his hands drop from Alex’s hips. Prepared for the worst.

Was I too fast? Too rough? Too much?

For the first time, he found himself unable to meet Alex’s emerald gaze—that precise shade of green had, at some point, become synonymous for safety, so why was he suddenly so afraid?

He could feel Alex watching him, though his own eyes he kept glued to the ground. Achilles had never felt so scrutinized. So small.

Then, a hand on his neck. A finger resting below his ear, a thumb along his jaw. And Achilles was brought back to Spirit’s Eve. The first time Alex had kissed him. Had all been a character for Alex back then, a costume. How far had they come…

Alex slowly lifted his chin and asked in a voice, soft and tentative, “Is… is that what you like?”

“I—what? Yes, wh—Alex, what do you like—”

But Alex cut him off—seized him, kissed him, frenetic and greedy and deep and hard, and Achilles was set aglow. He pushed Alex towards the bed. Shoved him—not unkindly—down atop the duvet, straddled him and lifted his face up to better meet his own. His hands tugged at Alex’s shirt—god, just get that off—he wanted to feel him, more of him, all of him, he was burning, and wanting, and he very nearly got his wish—shirt halfway off, one hand clinging to the bare hollow of his back—until he was shoved unceremoniously off Alex’s lap and onto the floor.

“What the fuck—”

“Shit—sorry—I’m sorry, I—fuck—”

Achilles—ricocheting between irked and concerned—stumbled to his feet, cheeks red, and managed to spit out only one word whilst retrieving the pieces of his pride. “What?”

He took a pause before following Alex’s avoidant gaze down to his lap, where Alex’s hands lay stiffly between his legs.

“Oh.” Achilles wiped some imaginary dust off his hands as he pushed aside any lingering embarrassment. “Don’t apologize. You know, I, in fact, actually have a penis, too. I get it, it happens.” Wow! Great job not being awkward! Fucking idiot. But upon seeing Alex’s continued discomfort, he added in a less lighthearted tone, “I meant what I said earlier, Al, we don’t have to do anything. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“Can—actually, can we talk?”

“Of course. That’s why I invited you over, right? To talk. It was you who seduced me, you wench. Here.” He pinched his nose—can’t you sound normal just once in your life—and tossed Alex an extra pillow after pulling back the sheets. “We can… put that between us if you’d like, just… give me a second…”

Achilles usually slept in just a pair of boxers, but after this most recent turn of events, he thought it best to head to the closet for a t shirt. His instincts were validated upon his return—Alex had indeed set the pillow in the middle of the bed, and was now clutching it like a life line.

He paused, one hand on the corner of the covers. “I— I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I can actually sleep on the couch if you’d like. I’m sorry, I should’ve—”

“No. No, no, no, that’s not it at all, no, it’s, um. It’s something else. I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry. It’s… well, it’s me. I’m the problem.”

“Now don’t say that…” Achilles slipped slowly beneath the duvet, taking care not to accidentally touch as he gave both Alex and the pillow quite a wide berth. He lay on his back, as he usually did, hands folded across his chest. “Talk to me, Al. Floor is yours.”

He had left his bedside lamp on—it was a rather dim glow, usually reserved for late night reading or the crossword if he was having particularly bad sleep troubles, but he could still make out Alex’s furrowed brow from atop the pillow between them.

“I… um…” A small sigh. Achilles watched Alex rub his face before turning to face the ceiling, one hand still kneading his forehead. “I, um, well… I don’t think—no. I, um…”

“Do you want me to turn the light off? Will that help?”

“No, it’s fine. Leave it on, I… I want to see you.”

“Man, you’re not even looking at me.”

Alex clicked his tongue and continued to stare at the ceiling, but Achilles caught the corners of his mouth turn up just the slightest bit. “Okay, okay, you got me there…”

“Mmhm.”

“It’s just that… Well. I just…”

This was a mistake. He doesn’t like you like that. He doesn’t want you.

“I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Oh.

Achilles waited for further explanation, but Alex seemed somewhat disinclined to say more, (though in the subsequent silence, Achilles could hear the slight scrape of what was likely aggressive teeth gnashing). After waiting a respectable two minutes for an elaboration, Achilles took it upon himself to lightly prod. “Is it because… you’re… bisexual—”

“I don’t think I’m bi.”

“Oh.” Oh. Achilles had masked his surprise quickly, but even so, perhaps it was a good thing Alex wasn’t looking at him. No need to make the guy even more self conscious. “Well. Allow me to be the first person to say there’s nothing wrong with being gay either, if that’s what it is—”

“That’s not it, I don’t— well. No, I wanted to—You see, what happened was—I- I don’t… I…”

Alex’s eyes were now full on closed, his hand rather zealously rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I’ve had sex before. To be clear. Like a lot of sex. Oh god, why’d I say it like that.”

“Ah.” Achilles couldn’t help but wince. “It… it would’ve been all right if you hadn’t… to be clear.”

“I mean, not with a guy.”

He responded smoothly. “Sure. I assumed.”

Another sigh, though this one had the hint of a growl as Alex’s exasperation continued to balloon. “Shit. Shoot. This is—well this is obviously not going how I wanted it to— I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying, I just. I’m nervous. About what you’re going to say, and think, and… I just…”

Fuck, Achilles just wanted to hold him—but the situation was nebulous, and so he instead held his own hands, still resting across his chest, tighter, and kept his voice even. “It’s just me, Al. Like you said earlier, we’re still friends. You can tell me whatever, I’m not going to judge.”

“But you might.”

“I won’t.”

“But you might.”

“Alexander—”

“I just—Well. I’ve never been in love before.”

Finally, Alex turned to face Achilles. He lay on his side, his arms still fiercely wrapped around the pillow, and his face remained troubled—brows knitted, his lower lip drawn between his teeth.

“I was, um, 12, 13 when I moved here. Showed up to middle school smack dab in the middle of term. I was the new kid with a dying mom. Made me interesting, I think. Everyone wanted to be my friend. You know how it is…

“What caught me off guard though, was how many girls wanted to be my friend. Or, I guess, more than my friend, but it was middle school so I mean, how real could a relationship actually be, right…”

It wasn’t hard to imagine a 12 year old Alex—chubbier cheeks, probably, but the same freckles, the same large green eyes and sunny disposition—combine that with a tragic backstory and New Kid Novelty, and it was easy to see why the girls at Meridian Middle School had flocked to him.

“It was… weird. I didn’t like it. I didn’t understand what they wanted from me… or why.

“And I pretty quickly realized, well, everyone was either girl crazy or boy crazy or both. Not just girls. My guy friends, too. Man, that’s all folks spent lunch yapping on about, who had a crush on who and whatever. I just didn’t get it—man, I just wanted to talk about grid ball. I don’t know, it was like that part of puberty just… never hit me, I guess…

“But after awhile, I think I just kind of assumed that everyone felt the way I did, but you just…weren’t supposed to talk about it.

“Like I somehow logic-ed it out in my head that your girlfriend was just your best friend who happened to be a girl. And going on dates and stuff, that was just part of having a girlfriend. Like how when you’re a kid you have play dates, when you have a girlfriend you have, well, just… dates. I mean didn’t you say earlier, a date’s basically just hanging out, right? Especially in middle school. It’s just all part of like this script you were supposed to follow—and I mean, it couldn’t have helped that I literally had a dating handbook from my grandpa that was giving me step by step directions, telling me specific things to do.

“Well anyway… I kept feeling this way, even into high school. People stopped being so boy crazy and girl crazy and whatever then, and I stopped feeling so paranoid, stopped overthinking it.

“And then I dated Haley for two years. Everyone kept telling me to ask her out, so I figured I would. If everyone was saying we’d be perfect together, they must be right, right? She was my first serious relationship.

“And dating her actually made me feel—well, better. Validated? Is validated the right word? I liked hanging out with her, she was already my best friend, but, I don’t know, she never seemed that into me in any sort of fancy romantic way, she never really wanted to make out or hook up or anything all that often, and I thought, okay so maybe all that stuff really is all just an act, just stuff for movies, maybe I was right all along.

“Of course, that all came crashing down after she told me she was gay. She kept going on about ‘attraction’ and how it wasn’t a me problem, that she didn’t feel that way about any guys at all, that it was girls she liked, and I remember just nodding along because, honestly, I was just confused.

“I mean, what even is attraction? I’d never thought about that much, not until she was going on and on about it. But when she was describing it, I realized that there was… something else that I was supposed to be feeling. Something I was missing. But it’s hard, you know, like how do you know what it is you’re missing if you’ve never been able to feel it in the first place?

“You know, side note, funnily enough, after she came out, I actually had a second there where I wondered if maybe I was gay, too. Haley had never had a crush on a guy, I’d never felt that way about a girl—whatever “that way” was supposed to be feel. But I thought about it for a bit and ended up deciding I’d never felt that way about a guy either. And I’d been around a whole lotta guys. Sports camp, swim team… nothing.

“So I figured, well, I went back to square one. Maybe this is just how everyone feels. Maybe I just hadn’t met the right girl, maybe I should just give it some time. Maybe I needed to loosen up. So I just kept going through the motions. Doing what I thought everyone my age was doing.

“I was just so caught up with trying to find or feel or whatever, trying to prove that I was normal. So even though I had a bunch of solid excuses to not care about it all—swimming. Making the Artemics team. My grandparents getting sick—I think a part of me was…. I don’t know. Desperate. To find that feeling that I’d been missing, find that person. So I just kept… you know. Going out on dates. And… other stuff. Just nonstop.”

Alex seemed to be approaching the crux of his story now. He sucked in a deep breath between his teeth before turning away again while his hands abandoned the pillow to rest atop his own chest, fingers softly tapping between his rib cage.

“I thought sex was like… you know. Just something you were supposed to do. Like… shaking someone’s hand when you meet them for the first time or… saying thank you when someone opens the door for you. Like it’s just expected you do it. Hold a girl’s hand. Kiss her. Have… sex with her. I didn’t realize people actually wanted… like really wanted to… do these things. Beyond it making the other person happy. Like, I didn’t realize people actually had the… urge to do it. If that makes any sense.

“Like I remember in college, one of my friends, his girlfriend kept cheating on him and I just couldn’t understand why, you know? Like why was it so hard for her not to cheat? Like, what could you possibly be feeling that made you do that, like, what was the reason, why would you sabotage something so easily in your control? And for my friend—why was it so hard, just break up with her already. Like, why stay with someone who… isn’t treating you good?”

There was a small pause, but rather than dwell on darker memories, Alex continued steadily on.

“I know there’s probably more to it, but I guess I just didn’t understand that kind of love. That feeling of… being in love with someone. I had never felt it before. That is…”

Achilles felt Alex stir under the covers, felt him shift his weight as he turned onto his side, peaked his head back above the pillow like a turtle to look at him, a small smile now on his face.“That is, until last week. With you.

“You’re the first person, Ash. And I don’t know why, I don’t know why it’s you—don’t get me wrong, I’m… I’m glad it is.” He laughed, and to Achilles’ surprise, he reached across the pillow for his hand.

“And I see why now it took me so long to even realize there was something wrong with me, that I was missing something, because how could anyone have ever really described to me what this feels like? Attraction. Even now, feeling it now, it’s just… wow. It’s like friends. Like best friend, I don’t know. But… different. And I like it.”

Alex’s tiny sigh of satisfaction sent Achilles heart beating faster, but the rate at which Alex’s remaining hand was tapping against his chest began to quicken as well, and his tone grew more serious.

“But if I’m honest, I… Well. I still feel like a part of me is missing something. In regards to, well… well, just… sex. Like… wanting to have sex.

“I don’t understand why, because I really really like you, I do, and I… well I really liked kissing you. And stuff. And I… well… well normally I spend the time trying not to think about how gross the whole concept of making out with someone kind of is, but for the first time in my life ever, I… I want to do it. Like want to do it. Again. I mean of course, only if you, I don’t know… ever want to do it with me again… Shit. I sound 12, don’t I? Yoba, listen to me, we’ve had one date, you might never want to see me again.”

A rather sheepish smile—Alex ran his free hand through his hair.

“I don’t get it, I don’t get why it feels different, you’d think it’d be the same thing, wanting to be close to someone, wanting to kiss someone, wanting to have sex with them, I don’t know. Wow, I don’t think I’ve said sex as many times in my life as I have just now. What a weird word. Ok, sorry, anyway, I don’t know why I feel one but not the other now. I don’t get it, there’s just… something wrong with me, I don’t know.

“I know this probably doesn’t make much sense, because I’ve hooked up with lots of people before that that I didn’t feel anything for, but I just… because I like you, and because I… do want to be with you, I want to… I don’t know, I want to… want it with you. Like, I want it to feel better, more, I don’t know, purposeful, than all the other times.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that having sex was, like, traumatic or anything in the past—no one forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do—I mean, I never wanted to do it, but only in the sense that I never had, like, the urge to do it. I wanted to want it, but every time I did it, it just felt like… I don’t know. A chore. Yeah. It felt like a chore, and honestly, according to a lot of the girls I dated, I was pretty dang bad at it —for reasons that, you know, now make a lot more sense—until I learned how to, you know— actually, we don’t have to get into that—um, well—anyway, back to what I was saying—

“And, I don’t know, I’d stopped hooking up with people by the time I left school. Given up, I guess, just figured there was something wrong with me. And just thinking about sex in general now makes me kind of…anxious. And I don’t want it to feel like that with you, I don’t want to… bring that in there, if that makes sense. I want this to feel… different.

“Shit, wow, I guess all of this to say… super long story just to ask I guess… to just… I guess what I’m asking is if we can… can we take it slow? Is that stupid to ask? Is that, like, super lame? At 25 years old? Or I guess 28 in your case… geez…”

It took a second before Achilles, still digesting everything Alex had shared, realized he’d been asked a question. It was those green eyes—blinking wide-eyed rather expectantly—that jolted him back to the present, and with a small jump, he rushed to respond with something more akin to a squeal, “Not at all!” But worried that his hasty and high-pitched response (ugh) suggested a sentiment something more to the contrary, Achilles hurried to grip Alex’s hand tighter and said more firmly, “We’ll go as slow as you want. Slow as you need.”

The reassurance seemingly failed to land, as Alex turned slightly away. “I… I know sex is… important to a lot of people, and it’s stupid to ask you to wait, it’s not like there’s a good reason—”

“—Al, any reason is a good reason—”

“—and I don’t want you to wait if you don’t want to, I mean like, if you’re someone who likes sex and, well, wants it…” Alex trailed off, but watched Achilles intently as the latter reached slowly over the pillow to brush aside some of the hair that had fallen into his face.

“I mean, I won’t lie, Al. Like, I like having sex.” Achilles snorted, moving his hand down, tracing the line of Alex’s jaw. So smooth… the man shaved religiously, a holdover habit now unlikely to be broken anytime soon with his return to the competitive swimming world. “But I like you more. I think.”

Alex laughed, placing his hand now over Achilles’ to cup his own face.

“No, but in all seriousness, it’s fine. Thank you for telling me this.”

“But are you really sure? You’re fine with waiting? I… I don’t know how long it’ll be. I wish I could give you a timeline, I mean I wish I could say for sure it’ll actually even happen, to be honest, I don’t even know, but then I again I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love, but I see now these are different, and I don’t want to overpromise something that may not ever actually—”

“Al, seriously. It’s fine. I’ll wait forever as long as I’m waiting with you.”

This time, Alex’s smile reached his eyes, igniting that glimmer of mischief. He gave Achilles�� hand a firm, final smack before turning onto his back once again. “Well… forever’s an awfully long time, I think at a certain point I’d just… well, you know.” He made a circle with his left thumb and pointer finger and began to slowly move his right index finger towards it before Achilles whacked his shoulder.

“Boy, I swear to Yoba—”

But Alex cut him off with a surprise kiss on the cheek. There was a careless sweetness to it, and despite the comparative innocence of the gesture, Achilles immediately bloomed pink—but as Alex returned to lying down, letting himself collapse atop the pillow, there was one final furrow still striking his brow.

“I just… are you… disappointed? Achilles?”

“What?”

“I know, I know, you said it’s fine, but I just… I just want to… I don’t know. Are you disappointed? In me? You’ll tell the truth, won’t you?”

Achilles understood. The need to hear a specific set of words—the hunger for honesty alongside the anxious ache for approval. He kept it simple. “I’m not disappointed in you. And you could never disappoint me.”

It was remarkable, the speed at which those words transformed him; like night and day, Alex was now beaming like a sunrise. With a jaunty little wriggle, he pulled the covers up to his chin. “Okay. I’ll stop being sad now. I’ve ruined your sleep schedule enough and you’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“Elliott’s got a big day tomorrow, I’ve got like, a medium day.” But even so, Achilles leaned over the nightstand to flick off the lamp.

“Medium shmedium… good night, Ash.”

The pillow still rested between them, but Achilles didn’t mind. He knew Alex was there, and he knew now for sure Alex wanted him.

He wasn’t sure how long he spent replaying the evening in his head—perhaps Alex had already fallen asleep, it was, admittedly quite a lot to digest—but nevertheless, at some point Achilles found himself suddenly speaking into the darkness.

“It’s a thing, you know. Asexuality. Aromanticism. There’s a spectrum for both, but it’s all… valid. It’s all… real, for lack of a better word, what you’ve felt and not felt in the past. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

#llnks #stardew alex #stardew fanfic #aspec fanfic #sdv fanfic #alex stardew #sdv alex #sdv oc #asexuality #ace positivity #sorry this was later than usual I am at urgent care lmfao

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hay1ock · 9 months

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Okay. Wow. Episode 3 of Only Friends was just something else.

Yep. I’m late again, but honestly, I enjoy rewatching it a time (or two) for anything I might have missed or that might change my mind about certain scenes or characters.

This week we’ll start with the mess that is Nick and Boston. It was interesting watching their string of encounters. Is it just me that felt they got slower, kind of more romantic as they went on? Like the slow kisses. I like kissing, might have partaken in the odd snog in a club back in my prime lol. But to be doing it over and over, day after day, soft and slower, and more attentive. It just felt more intimate, easy to mistake the feelings behind it. I hate the way he manipulates Nick. Sees him questioning the relationship so gives him some crumbs to keep him happy, and give him hope when there really doesn’t seem to be any.

Yeah, Boston is the absolute worst. But can’t deny he’s entertaining. I love the messy web he’s weaving. Well, mostly. When he started poking at my baby Ray then there was some aggressive side-eyeing on my part lol. I really don’t know what else to say, other than to applaud the work he’s putting in for Top. I still can’t decide if he has real feelings for him as he hesitated when Nick asked, but it seems to do with his pride/rivalry at the fact Top is seemingly so desperately pursuing Mew when Boston is throwing himself at him and had been getting turned down. Will be interesting to see if Boston had any plan for what he was actually hoping to achieve beyond one more fuck. Has he won? Does he still want more? Also, bit cruel recording your friends…making out? Getting handsy? Until proven otherwise (unless it went so terribly that Mew wanted to delete it from his mind) I believe Mew is a virgin. And it makes me laugh that the one who was telling Top Mew was all sweet and innocent in the first place was Boston. Has anyone else ever said that? I mean Mew was happy to have Top in his room, kiss, get on the counter. It was just when the possibility of full sex got too real that he put a stop to things, and the fact he would prefer to get to know someone first before going all in.

But yeah. Boston you are a terrible friend. Recording it and then holding on to it. Though to be fair I have everything ever still on my phone what with the storage size these days, it’s just a dick move he recorded it in the first place.

Nick. Okay, so I was in the protect Nick from Boston and himself and his feelings frame of mind last week. I said he wasn’t gonna be getting employee of the month snooping in customer phones, but seems he took his snooping up a notch and I’m considering switching over to Team Protect Boston. I didn’t actually pay much attention to the Chekhov’s wiretap on my first watch, I thought about how there’d be cameras installed and figured something would get caught on there eventually, but hadn’t thought Nick would go so far as to directly bug Boston’s car. I did feel sorry for him at the end. I don’t know if this is his first ‘relationship’ or what but he’s certainly all in. I wonder how far he’ll go if he is planning revenge. Like are we talking Fatal Attraction lengths? Boston doesn’t have a rabbit right? Lol

So Ray and Sand. Feel for Sand as he’s clearly trying to keep boundaries in his relationship with Ray. But eyes don’t lie and, man, the way he looks at him. Though disappointed at the end of the episode, there was probably also some relief as he could step back from the line he’d been dangerously walking. I wonder how bad his money struggles are as is he getting to eat for free at YOLO? Anyway, I wish him luck in his efforts to separate love and sex.

And Ray. His little face and his dumb flirty ass. I don’t think he’s doing anything on purpose as such or playing with Sand’s heart or anything (not like a certain Boston we know) as just in general it seems like the kind of person he is. He did seem genuine when he checked Sand was okay with it all because he wants to keep hanging out and being friends. I do think he’s pursuing him in the sense of a distraction, especially right after Boston whispered in his ear and Top dragged away Mew. Talking of Top, honestly, I don’t know how much is jealousy, worry for Mew, and how much is just a case of him just disliking that man. You ever just had someone, and they might not have even done anything wrong, but their very existence just irks you for some reason? That’s the vibes I get from Ray toward Top. The way Ray changes and folds his arms when he popped up ruining his bright mood when hanging with Mew.

But back to him and Sand. The entangling in the car was definitely to distract himself from his shitty feelings from that night, managing to convince himself and Sand that they could keep the boundaries even if they slept together a second time. And then the call. The way he sat up and rearranged his clothes as if he didn’t want Mew seeing him like that. Like he was almost ashamed. Seen a few differing opinions on what happened, but, despite Sand’s fleeting disappointment (then probably relief at dodging a bullet to the heart for at least one more day), I am team bros before hos, sisters before misters etc. Mew was locked out, bit tipsy and personally, I appreciate Ray being a good friend. Whether he also enjoyed getting to play hero, who knows, but I viewed it as him answering the call of a friend who needed his help.

So Mew. Actually, enjoyed seeing him and Ray interact a bit more. I personally, again until proved otherwise, believe he cares for him. In episode 1 he said how the hostel could be something for Ray’s future, a business of his own, then the scene by the pool in episode 2, and here, it seems like he genuinely wants Ray to move on and be happy with someone who has the potential to love him back as something other than a friend. I’m interested to see what actually happened the night Boston filmed them and guessing we’ll see at least some of it based on the preview. Mew’s scenes with Top give me mixed feelings. They were very sweet at the silent disco, and then we were back to Top being all ownery over him (granted fuelled by Boston). Top had referred to him as boyfriend a couple of times this ep so I’m trying to figure if we’ve skipped to them being boyfriends now as think Boston said they’d been together less than 3 months, plus we figure time has passed from the multiple BostonNick scenes. Ponders.

And lastly Top. Well, he knows Sand and boy Sand doesn’t like him lol. Guess we’ll see why eventually. I’m still trying to figure Top out. I know we don’t have much on Mew but Top is just a bit contradictory to me I guess. Is he insecure? Is it because he’s only been seen as this top tier prize to get fucked by? And Mew seems to be the only one, or the only one in a long time to not care about that? His actions are… I mean Mew knows he’s slept with others so why not be honest about that Beam guy? I mean the dude pretty much spelled it all out and Mew was right there lol.

Also, I know Boston was manipulating him but to say I was disappointed in his lack of willpower is an understatement. I have no idea what’s on the video, Mew and his friends have mentioned him being a virgin when it was just them and for nobody else’s benefit, so I believe he is one. Boston was the one that added the sweet and innocent part. But still, if you want to get to the bottom of things, I feel confronting/talking to Mew would have been a slightly better option than banging Boston. I get Top actually looked upset and people do dumb stuff without thinking if through but… Top, why? Even if you aren’t officially boyfriends, YOU keep calling him your boyfriend. Sighs. Can’t wait to see how this all plays out now there’s a recording of them.

Anyway, not long before today’s episode, so will stop here. Really am loving this show.

#only friends series #only friends the series #only friends episode 3 #firstkhaotung #sandray #bostonnick #neomark #forcebook #topmew #firstkhao #it’s getting messier every episode #and I love it

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invisiblegarters · 8 months

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Only Friends Character Rankings - Ep 6

Well this was an episode, wasn't it? Finally the mess really begins and now the mettle of every single person who says that what they were looking forward to was messiness is about to be tested. Because every single one of these characters is gonna bring the mess, even the one we like best. Maybe especially the one we like best. Here comes the point when they really start to tear strips off each other. Can we handle it?

For myself, I can't definitively answer that (temptation compels me to say yes but also you just never know and I refuse to pretend otherwise) but I can say I can't WAIT to find out.

Character Rankings (Fave to Least Fave atm)

SAND. Sand my darling my shit stirrer my passive aggressive asshole. I've already made a whole post about how calculated he was in his manipulation this episode - he wound Ray up and watched him go, and literally only interfered when the result flared out at Nick. Which shows me exactly how little he cares about any of these people and desperately makes me need his ex to be alive and to show up real time because Sand has some very complicated, very unresolved issues there and frankly, caring about Ray or not I think he's still in love with them.

If they are dead though that would make a lot of sense, mostly because now Sand is sort of frozen in that place of betrayal and anger and yeah, love, thwarted as it was. It would also explain his need to destroy Top at the cost of everything else.

I still wonder if it was a woman. I want it to be Mix but we keep referencing that San likes both and he's yet to be seen with a woman, so.

And nope, did not miss his passive aggressive digs at Ray either. "I see why you like him." "He's lucky he has someone like you looking out for him." Especially that first one. Lbr that was entirely a dig and while I get it - he's smarting from everything that happened with Boston before (regardless of how hard he pushes it down it's still obvious) and he figures why the hell not, no one else gives a shit so why should I, I know exactly what I am to this person and it's practically nothing so what does it matter if I use him? Tit for tat - I'm not so far up his ass (yet, there's always next week) that I can't see how fucked up it is. I just also kind of love it. I'm impressed, tbh. I was fully expecting Sand to reveal the tape to Ray out of some stupid "I just want you happy wah" thing and to have him do it this way floored me. I have said before that what I want from his storyline with Ray is mutual destruction and if things keep going along on these lines I will be very pleased. That second fight still worries me though.

I will also say that I bet I'm angrier about Ray calling him a whore (twice! In less than ten minutes!) than Sand will probably be. Sand did this, he wound Ray up as I already said, and if there's one thing that has been entirely consistent with his character thus far it's that he takes responsibility (perhaps takes it when things aren't even really his fault). He takes responsibility for his own feelings and he takes responsibility when he fucks up. I can definitely see him deciding he earned what he got, even if Ray went straight for what he knew would hurt the most - hasn't Sand told him over and over that he's not going to be bought? - he also went straight for Ray's weakest spot to get what he wanted out of him. Tit for tat.

That said, I can very much also see him internalizing that that's what Ray thinks about him. Especially if that turns into Ray's go-to insult when they fight (as I guess it might just).

I'd say he's the episode MVP, but actually he's tied with

MEW. Oh, Mew. I keep saying that it's always the reserved ones that go the most nuts when crossed and neither Sand nor Mew has proven me wrong this episode. Also the man just has a delicious sense of drama and who doesn't love that? The way he lulled Top into thinking all was well and then lured him into believing that there would be sexy times, followed up by that fucking line. I screamed and then started cackling (very quietly, it was early here and people were sleeping). MEW YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND. I had clocked that he wasn't having fun and that he was extremely subdued about Top's showoff gift but him punching Ray really convinced me that he was gonna ignore everything Ray had been trying to say.

That said, they better not reveal that they cooked this up together because then why did Ray go full scorched earth? If it was a plan they could have executed it in pretty much any other way.

Nah, feels wrong to me. What I think is that Mew punched Ray because he was ruining Mew's on the spot plans to confront Top himself, but also because wow bestie how about we don't humiliate me in front of all our friends? Plus he knows that if he apologizes Ray will forgive him anything. It's a benefit of the whole BFF being in love with you business.

Loved the bath smile in the preview. My guess is he's gonna revenge fuck Ray, but only after Top thinks that he's forgiven him and they get back together. It'll be very messy. Why can't he fuck Sand instead that would be the ultimate revenge for both really.

Boston. Yeah, Boston. He read Ray to filth in this ep while ALSO trying to lead him into thinking that telling Mew about him and Top fucking behind his back would be just as bad as fucking Top behind his back. Like it's genius and fucked up and eighteen levels of wrong and it ultimately didn't work but jesus.

And then at the end of the whole mess he is the only one who got to go home with a dude that still wants him. And I have to appreciate that that's because Nick already knew. Sure it wasn't fun to hear I bet but it's not like it's not something Boston hasn't been clear about.

He got a reprieve this week but I suspect he knows that. He's gonna go gunning for Nick too because he's not a dumb man and he can put two and two together and get four (even though sometimes it suits his purposes to make five instead) and it's gonna dawn on him sooner than later that he has someone very very close to him who has access to all kinds of fun spy equipment, doesn't he? Why yes he does.

Looking forward to watching Mew yeet him into the pool next ep though.

Ray. I love mess, and boy howdy did Ray bring it this ep. I'm incredibly unsure why he decided to burn all his bridges so spectacularly, but well, he's drunk and maybe high definitely feeling sorry for himself and we don't always make the best decisions in those situations. Seen speculation that he fully intends on hurting himself by getting behind the wheel and yeah, that also rings true.

He also knows just where to hit everyone where it hurts and he didn't hold back, did he? If I can't blame or hate Boston for what he did last ep then the same must be said for Ray - he wasn't spewing anything that wasn't true...until he got to Sand. There it was entire untruths but I don't like Ray enough to try to unpack that, especially since my less than rosy view of Ray means that I am inclined to think the worst. Frankly what I want to say is that all Sand is to Ray, whether he's actually paying for it or not, but even I know that's uncharitable. See, growth (mine, not Ray's - I think we've got at least three episodes before we see growth from Ray).

And frankly I don't think Boston was entirely wrong that he hopes that Mew finding out about Top and Boston will send him to Ray's arms - it's not the whole reason he needs Mew to know, but yeah. it's there in the back of his mind. I still don't blame him for telling him.

But also I'm with Sand - getting in a car the way he is isn't entirely about him, he could seriously hurt someone else and that pisses me the fuck off. I have a real bug bear about drunk driving. No excuse is a good excuse for that shit and that's why he's lower than Boston this week. Fuck him for that honestly.

Top. This might be controversial, but I feel kind of bad for Top this ep. I mean, not horribly bad, I was having a great time watching everything fall apart around him, but a little bad.

And here's the reason why: I don't think that he is entirely playing a part with Mew. I do think he likes him - not sure if I buy love but he does like him, perhaps a lot. The man is a nasty piece of work who slips into cocky assholery way too easily for my tastes, but I also think that he's kind of put in that role and so goes with it. He did try to be cordial with Sand this ep - kind of insane when you think about the fact that Sand hates him, Top knows Sand hates him, and he also knows why - but he didn't switch to assholery until he took his cue from Sand. Same when he ran into Sand with his car - he was sorry and worried but then Sand wouldn't follow that script so he followed. He does the same thing with Boston when they interact.

I think he enjoys being with Mew because Mew lets him be the best version of himself. But of course the asshole is still there underneath, he can't run from it, so it all falls apart around his ears. I do think he holds genuine affection for Mew, but what does that matter when he's screwed over so many people in the past? I think he also likes the novelty of doing love and sex Mew's way, but I also believe that he'll only play the penitent for so long before he loses patience. I'm curious to see if I'm right, and how things will go if so.

Chuem. Every time this woman opened her mouth it was to be a dick. Like, damn. I knew she wasn't some sweet angel but I get the impression the only one of her friends she really likes is Mew. Curious why, because she seemed to at least like Ray well enough two years ago. At the very least Mew is the only one that she's not casually cruel to.

Nick. Babe. You're pretty but I'm gonna need you to do something okay? Yes, even if your revenge hits Sand at least it'll hit SOMEONE. Because right now you're just a succession of "oh shit" faces and I need more.

Relationships (Most to Least Fave atm)

TopMew. Yep. They finally got really interesting and beat out BostonNick. I am so curious what Mew is gonna do to Top. I already said that my top guess is making Top work for it, making him think he's forgiven him...and then fucking Ray and making sure he finds out about it. This suspicion will turn into a certainty if he finds out that Top fucked Boston because he thought there something happened with him and Ray.

Nick and Sand. I want them to hash it out and make up. I said I'd be okay if Nick's revenge hit Sand but I really won't be haha, I want them to end the show still friends. They are usually really good at talking to each other so I have some hope. Don't let these men you probably won't even know anymore in a year screw up a friendship that might actually last beyond college, guys. Also you should make out.

Sand and Top and the ex. The way I am being teased about this is not nice. GIMME. I want answers, don't care how I want them now. Make it messy please. Please please please please please I want the ex to show up like a wrecking ball and for Sand to utterly lose all his shit over it.

BostonNick. Still think these two deserve each other. Am READY for Boston to put two and two together and get Nick fucking bugged his car, though. And maybe he can get Nick to play the recording from him since at this point he and Chuem are the only two who haven't heard it. I am curious to see what if anything Nick does when it all falls apart. I kind of want him to ascend to unhinged lengths as yet unseen.

SandRay. I guess the mask is off now (even though I kinda think it was always off, lol). I do not ship this. They are bad for each other and Ray especially needs to just not be anywhere near a romantic relationship, but especially not with Sand who has a serious caretaking complex that is going to foster some really nasty codependence, as well as a far too patient streak which will only encourage Ray to keep lashing out at him whenever he wants (yes this ep he did what he did but I cannot stress enough that it wasn't really about Ray. Oh, he took his shots but at it's heart this was all about getting at Top. Top is a special case for Sand, he's a dude who riles him up just by existing. Ray might get there eventually but currently he's nowhere near on Top's level for Sand, he'll put up with perhaps a LOT more before he finally gets to that point).

Every week I worry that Sand is gonna enter his doormat era, and every week they've neatly dodged it happening. But oh, we still have six weeks to go and the worst fight is yet to come so that worry ain't fading anytime soon.

As I've said, mutual destruction is more fun for me so this ep wasn't half bad on that front. If things stay in this vein I might actually work around to enjoying it as a disaster ship.

In Conclusion

I'm gonna need everyone to stop it with the slut shaming, please. Boston's an ass, but he's not an ass because he likes to sleep around and I'm kind of tired of the conflation of the two.

#only friends #only friends the series #rankings

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singsweetmelodies · 1 year

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i feel like WE ALL KNOW, but i wanna hear you say it anyway

17 and 19 pls 😏

well hello, anon ;D thank you so much for the excellent questions, ehehehe, i am going to enjoy these 😏😍

17. Who's more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

yeah, this really is a great one *rubs hands gleefully* and i'm going to give you two answers for it: the pre-relationship and post-getting together versions. i feel like before they get their act together and start dating, it would be charles who goes in for it and makes the move. charles would be the one to pull pierre in by the waist, go for the gap and just kiss him if pierre gives him the slightest hint that the feelings are requited. (in my headcanons, it's always charles who makes the move first. pierre, for all that he is a smug and cocky bastard, also has that insecurity and overthinking, and will insist to himself that charles Can't Possibly Feel The Same until very definitively proven otherwise.)

after they're officially dating/a thing, though, the answer changes 100% to pierre, imo. this is not to say that charles doesn't grab pierre by the waist and kiss him when he feels like they've been apart for too long -- it's just that pierre is usually way more shameless and handsy, and gets there first. (come to think about it, they would probably find some way to make it a competition. IDIOTS (affectionate.) but that's a whole other fic, lmao.) in general, i would say that pierre is more likely to grab charles by the waist and lay one on him, because charles really does just walk around looking like That, and makes it very hard to resist. (and also, WE ALL KNOW pierre loves to grab charles' waist at every opportunity. we know, and who can blame him 😌)

19. How do they feel about PDA?

HA, lol, okay... i feel like they would be the most insufferable couple in the entire world (behind closed doors/with trusted friends, of course.) i mean, even when they're just saying "hi" at the driver's parades, they always have to clasp hands or fist-bump or brush shoulders or make sure they touch somehow. gay or european, huh so i think that, if they were officially dating, they would be even WORSE. even in public, those little "hi" touches would linger for just a second too long. they'd shake hands, then forget what they were doing bcs they were too busy staring into each other's eyes, hopelessly moony-eyed. and when there are no cameras on them/when they're surrounded only by people they trust... omfg. imagine THE worst PDA-crazy couple from back in high school or uni - yeah, the ones who were always standing with their arms wrapped around each other, and stealing kisses, and/or whispering alternately sweet nothings and dirty things into each other's ears. yeah. that'd be them, without a doubt. they would be absolutely unbearable, and i, for one, 10000% support it 😌👌

(obligatory otp asks)

#asks & answers #anon #obligatory otp asks #lmao i love how most of my piarles takes can be summed up as something along the lines of #'oh yeah they are absolutely unbearable but also unstoppable/inevitable and i fucking love them for that'#MWAH.#ooohhhh and thanks so much for these asks bestie!!#i will take ANY AND ALL chances to rant about piarles and how obsessed they are with each other #so ily for this :DD <3333 #🦑🏎️ piarles #piarles headcanons

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septembersghost · 1 year

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Do you think when they were together-ish(anything from 2012-15) Taylor and harry ever confided their traumas with each other or were completely open with each other about their past? I think harry was judging by the sheer vulnerability in his songs. But do you think taylor ever was? There are hints he knew more(he's gonna say its 'love' you never called it what it was// 'love' was something you never heard enough). She said she got Jake's mail regarding red when she was dating harry. She cried during 'all too well' in 2014 june when she was close to harry. So do you think she ever opened up about jake?

On that note, do you think they ever talked about kanye,john stuff. She went through hell because of ye and I don't think WCS feelings developed overnight. How do you think all of this affected their relationship? Was harry ever jealous of jake because Taylor loved him?Or did he think he was a d___ for treating her like shit? (We know harry easily gets jealous)

not in an unkind way, but in a general one, i don't think taylor was capable of verbalizing the depth of her trauma until now. she literally had to find safety and healing to begin to express it. they both pour things into their music that they probably only felt able to say there, because that form is confessional and the safe place to explore it. it's not that i don't think she shared anything, of course, but i doubt she had the language at that time to even explain it all, and she was trying so hard to gloss over it, to make it all seem fine, to pack it away, to seem nonchalant (which doesn't work in the long run). and harry wasn't nearly at the place he is now in regards to the philosophical outlook and open approach to therapy. there was a lot of common ground between them at their levels of fame and coming up in the industry, and regarding musicianship, emotional sensitivity, etc, but there were barriers too. i'm sure he knew she'd been deeply heartbroken, idk how far into that she would've been willing to share at that point, though. especially since they got stuck in that on/off cycle, so many factors kept intruding and coming between them, including their own issues at that point. knowing someone was hurt and didn't feel loved is a little different from knowing how profoundly broken they felt as a human being. doubtless harry thought jake was terrible for that, but it's hard to say how far into the pain and belittlement she would've gone. or taking the john issue, what's shattering there is she believed she'd escaped it (i took your matches before fire could catch me), and now she realizes she didn't and it's had a lasting effect. and then with k*nye at that point in time, she was striving to make peace and be friends with him. i saw a quote from...2015 earlier today, let me see if i can find it again. "we actually, i guess, could be called friends now! i honestly think i needed to continue to prove myself in my career and i think it finally got to a place where he realized he respected what i do as a musician." she just so badly wanted his approval and wanted to make things okay that i don't think she'd have said anything negative about him at the time, which is...very upsetting considering how that ultimately went (and the type of person he has proven himself to be in general).

this is really sad and telling of her mindset at that time too, she didn't really think she was allowed or deserved love: "Yeah, I do feel jaded about relationships, to be honest. I think the media has sent me a really unfair message over the past couple of years, which is that I'm not allowed to date for excitement, or fun, or new experiences or learning lessons. I'm only allowed to date if it's for a lasting, multiple-year relationship. Otherwise I'm a, quote, 'serial dater'. Or, quote, 'boy crazy'. The narrative has been so wrong, every time it was the same. It's 'Taylor spotted talking to this guy, she's chasing him.' They create a beginning to the story that didn't happen most of the time, so then they have to create an ending. So they always go to the same fabricated ending that every other tabloid has used in my story, which is, 'She got too clingy', or 'Taylor has too many emotions, she scared him away'. Which has honestly never been the reason for any of my break-ups. You know what has been the reason? The media. You take something very fragile, like trying to get to know someone, and it feels like walking out into the middle of a gladiator arena with someone you've just met. And all of a sudden the public and the media are allowed to say thumbs up or thumbs down. So I just don't try it any more."

#with jm particularly i don't think she ever confessed the level of harm to anyone until recently #which is why she feels like she didn't do enough to explain it (when you aim at the devil make sure you don't miss)#anonymous #letterbox #haylor #thrown out speeches

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sketchygainedyoursoul · 2 years

Text

Oh no episode two whatever shall we do

guess what time it is @paranoidpug

i'm still sane. can't wait for that to become a thing of the past

anway

Part 1 + 3/4/5

ayo a superhero? already starting off odd

Sam appears to be slightly sane. impressive

Kiyu please, ignore three immature children who murdered multiple people's cries for disney land and just... lock up sam and put taurtis in therapy.

Kiyu can't remember shit I'm a real Kiyu kinnie

Taurtis: I like that hotel over there. Can we live in the hotel? Is that where we're going to live? Kiyu: *long pause* Kiyu: No

Sam oh my god stop being embarrased for Kiyu and just shut the fuck up

Kiyu: Pretend nothing happened Echoes!Grian: ah, my specialty (I'm not sorry)

Kiyu: *Worried for her job* Please don't tell Okami about this Taurtis: Yeah we'll keep it on the down low Sam: oooh nice umbrella

OH MY GOD NOT THE OLD MAN AGAIN

Sam: "I think he likes us" THAT'S GENERALLY NOT A GOOD THING SAMUEL

good bye i have ascended

give me your fucking house it's lovely

Taurtis i wouldn't eat that sushi if I were you

Okami didn't give Sam her number? good call honestly

oh my god they are going to get lost

I hope they meet Grian at the school, one, because I miss my boy, and two, because Grian should not share a house with Sam

okay, so, Kiyu is a student

Sam, about the kind woman helping him: She seems suspicious Sam, about the guy who probably tried to rape dom: seems fine idk

Dom is totally going to carry this season i can already see the strain the first episode took on him

Sam: DUDE WE HAVE A LIBRARY FOR KNOWLEDGE Me: *sobbing*

Dom has taken up his residence in the dumpster out back. *Salutes* respect to you, my king.

Taurtis suggesting Sam sleep in the basement which lacks a bed is the ultimate "you're sleeping on the couch tonight" move

Sam: I'll just cuddle up with your dead babies (In reference to the pufferfish sushi from last episode) Taurtis: well when you put it that way it sounds creepy Sam: No it doesn't

GIVE UP TRYING best poster ever

why is there a tokyo ghoul poster i'm scared

dude they get free computers what the hell

oh ym god the old guy is still there

damn sam fell asleep so fast teach me your ways

his snores concern me

how the fuck did sam change into his uniform in his sleep what

Heimlich maneuver? no. Heimlich dance? YEA BOY

okay so it's perpetually night here. fantastic

DOM BELOVED

oh he's shirtless okay why didn't he get a shirt?

dom's nipples are offensive to taurtis because they are "so off center"

WHY IS THERE A VENDING MACHINE IN THE BACK ALLEYS

I like Damakun's hair

dom don't bully the guy with nice hair ;w;

DON'T BEAT HIM UP SAM WHAY FUCK

Sam: Give me a high five Dom: *punches him* Sam: *dies* i'm not even kidding that happened lmao (11:37 episode two if anyone's interested)

wh... why is that building on fire?

i wish sam got hit by a car god damn

DOM DON'T BREAK INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES

i like billy :)

that's a lot of vending machines

*gasp* did Taurtis just... jaywalk?????

Sam. The creepy and possibly perverted old guy following you around is not your friend unless i'm proven otherwise but probably not

HE'S IN THE GIRL PANTIES SHOP HOW IS HE NOT CREEPY

Taurtis: aww, I miss our old highschool. I bet this one's not even haunted! Sam: It might be haunted Sam: ...We can make it haunted Taurtis: Noo sam noo haha Me: oh fuck oh shit oh lordie lord

KIYUUU

Senor Loro? *uses combined knowledge of spanish and italian* SIR THEY

Dom: SenorLoro? sounds French

Why does he have a christmas sweater and a luchador mask on whay

OH THAT MUSTACHE

WHY IS SENORLORO HAVING THEM WRESTLE WHAT

HOLY SHIT HE'S BUFF

Dom is best fighter

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING

why did sam pronounce gusto goosto what

Sam: I need to see my schedule taurtis! Taurtis: then give me the phone Negotiation 100

Kiya refused to wrestle the principal lmao

istg the principal had something to tell them and they just WALKED OFF

Greentama: Stop right there, criminals! Sam: We're not criminals, are we criminals? Me: *flashbacks to yhs* no, why would you ever think that?

and there it is. end of episode two.

god damn it pug what have you made me do

#Sketchy's unhinged yhs summaries #but it's tokyo soul

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jewishtwig · 1 year

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Thank you Twig your answer means a lot to me ❤️ looking back I realise that was a real wordwall so sorry about that haha.

I hear what you're saying and I agree with you, after giving them chance after chance and going out of my way to explain that I'm not a different person now, they still haven't changed their attitudes and therefore likely never will.

It just came out of nowhere and was really unexpected because they are SO good about everything else -- they're the type of people who have founded their own activist organisations and have led protests for queer and trans rights, and who preach constantly about religious freedom. If I weren't becoming Jewish then I likely probably wouldn't have noticed the antisemitism at all, because to an outsider, they're vocally 100% good and supportive.

So yeah it was a real shock when I actually started converting and the first thing my friends said when I told them was "religion is bad, humans are too stupid for the responsibility, it always ends in war and extremism so we should get rid of religion altogether to make the world kinder and more peaceful." Like idk even what to comment on that. My brain short circuited. I don't know how anyone can be so ignorant without meaning to be. It's not even just antisemitic, the sentiment is almost genocidal.

It makes me scared because someone can seem so trustworthy and then turn out not to be. Making new friends is going to be a challenge because of how many people are probably the same. I can't even lie and say I haven't felt discouraged from converting because of how people treat me. (My faith is more important to me than anything else, so I'm carrying on, but losing friends is so painful that I have had fleeting thoughts about quitting halfway through.)

Hearing your answer did mean a lot to me. The consensus among my friend group seemed to be that I'm the weird one, and I started to believe it, so it's a huge relief to hear that other Jews/converts feel the same way as me. I won't be dissuaded from my journey no matter how much it hurts to lose friends.

But if you have any tips for weeding out antisemites who might otherwise slip under the radar, please share bc :')))) I don't know how many times I can go through this haha.

Honestly? It's hard.

I've learned to never trust that people are actually safe until they've proven themselves as safe. This is probably horribly cynical of me and not something I should be encouraging, but I don't have other advice.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting shutting everyone out until they prove themselves. What I'm saying is that it's possible and likely that people will surprise you like this in the future.

For example, I had a coworker who I thought was extremely nice and sweet and was generally very progressive, and then one day, all of a sudden, she told me she thought all Jews who have ever been to Israel or support the idea of Israel should die. (She no longer works in my office -- unrelated to this incident)

On the other hand, there was a girl on my study abroad trip to Europe who was generally very shy and quiet, but when someone started yelling slurs at me on the train, she absolutely lost it on this woman in French and helped get me through the crowd and to a different car and made sure I was okay. She is now my best friend.

You will likely go through difficult situations. Find the people who help you through them and distance yourself from the people who either ignore it or put you in those situations to begin with.

There are good supportive people out there. It just can take some time to find them.

#antisemitism #asks #<3

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ladylannisterxo · 2 years

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WA: Exactly! Since many details in the show aren't officially confirmed, people can believe what they want unless proven otherwise - not that it stopped fans before. When I imagined the scenario of Billy gifting Max, I had this thought of him leaving the skateboard on her bed to find from him because he might have been too awkward to give her when he did try apologizing. I don't know why that. And yes! That was a scene between them that made think of their relationship changed. And scenes in S3.

I guess that's the beauty of them only giving us so much to work with, we can create whatever we want to fill the gaps.

I think your idea with him just leaving the new board on her bed is pretty in character for him like, he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. Maybe Max comes home and sees it and her first thought is that her mom bought it for her and she's super thrilled but then maybe, Billy passes by her door and they make eye contact and without a single word being uttered, she knows it was him that bought it and he was just passing by to make sure she got it and that she was happy.

Truly, I love relationships where literally nothing has to be said; where they just get each other and I'm sure that's an easier bond to form with blood-related siblings but it's not impossible for step-siblings to figure each other out. Like, and more so in S2, but I think Max understands Billy a lot more than she lets on (and definitely more than he probably understands her at that point) because that scene where she's talking to Lucas and she says, "Billy's always been a dick but now he's just angry all the time", that implies to me that back in California, it probably wasn't as bad as it is in Hawkins.

I mean, yeah, he was most likely an ass and he said and did things he probably shouldn't have but getting uprooted from your life, the one that you've know from the start, and being dropped into Hawkins, Indiana as a senior in high school, oooof, that's rough. You basically have to start all over and for what? I mean, he really doesn't have any friends and there's fuck all to do in Hawkins and his home life didn't change, dad is still very much an asshole so what the hell is he supposed to do? I know people hate on Billy for his anger but it really makes a lot of sense and I don't blame him for being as angry as he is, I think I would be too.

Lol sorry, this response went all over the place!!

#asked and answered #'s' answers #billy hargrove #max mayfield #stranger things #writer anon

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pharawee · 3 months

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“And while I agree with how gmmtv is tackling this (legally and otherwise), I still feel so bad for Marc.”

I agree with you! I appreciate Gmmtv taking this matter seriously and suspending Pawin. I saw some comments online saying they should have fired him. Gmmtv can’t legally fire him from a contractual standpoint if he has not been convicted.

A work suspension is probably the right move while investigations are ongoing. I was a fan of Pawin so this is situation was a shock to me but I’m hoping justice is served if the allegations are proven true.

Also, like you mentioned, I hope Marc gets another role this year if they do cut out his scenes in we are.

hope you have a good day/night ahead!

Yeah, you're right. They can't really do anything unless Pawin clears his name, breaks contract (through being proven guilty) or decides to leave.

I guess until then they'll go the kpop basement route...

This all feels really weird as a fan of Marc because, yes, I did enjoy MarcPawin. They were cute together. I can only imagine what it must feel like being on the other fandom side of MarcPawin.

People (esp on the internet) are always so quick to say how they totally knew this or that actor was bad or how "[insert disgraced actor] has cold eyes" (this one always makes me laugh negl) but that's so ridiculous. These are actors and we don't know them. Looks like their colleagues and friends didn't know them either.

Whatever the outcome, I hope this is resolved quickly and fairly. 🙏

Have yourself a good rest of the day too, anon, and thank you for your asks about this. 💜

#ask #marc natarit #marcpawin

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icharchivist · 3 months

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What else, Tweyen brings up the "monster" thing a lot during her recruitment, calling the captain that for awakening the bow

It feels a bit like she's trying to reclaim the word,in a way, by either dragging someone else down to that level with her or by putting on positive associations, since she's in the process of befriending the player and if they can both be monsters, at least she won't have to be alone

Now I'm not sure if we get a proper timeline on things, but because I can't ever stop I'm gonna HC that her fight with Silva happened fairly recently before this, which opened up some old wounds and she's still reeling from losing a friend/ love interest while also being reminded of her trauma. I'm going with that until I'm proven wrong

She gets significantly less unhinged as time goes on and she manages to make other friends and especially when she makes up with Silva, of course. We're all very proud of her

Oh yeah definitely agreed.

I think Tweyen is desperate for connections, but as she's always been isolated for "being a monster", she forever holds on to this word and its connotactions.

I think her time with Silva basically had her believe, because of Silva's insistance, that actually she wasn't a monster.... so when Silva slipped, it's like the whole thing was a lie. And i think it's why Silva's way to try to fix it was to "try to become a monster, even better than Tweyen, so we can both be monsters together and she doesn't have to feel bad about it", and why she felt unworthy of being by Tweyen's side until she achieved that.

Meanwhile i think Tweyen had to convince herself that she HAD to be the monster -- if even Silva, who tried to tell her she wasn't one, ended up thinking she was one, then it meant it was unavoidable. It's what she was meant to be all along. When the Two Star Bow start to possess her she says she needs to become even more monstruous because then it will explain why Silva pushed her away, she needs to become the monster, because it justifies why she lost something so precious to her.

so yeah, when she meets MC, she is trying a new approach at connecting with others. first she obviously is trying to stop them, but then, it's really just "maybe as two monsters we can get along". she's trying to find a home to this word, because if this word pushed her away from all the homes she thought she had, then she had to make it her own home and invite people in it.

so i could see her fight with Silva be pretty recent at this point - not super recent either, but like, dating from a few months back or something. Just recent enough that it's vivid in her mind, but old enough that she's trying to move away from it, but still recent enough that she's moving away from it in a way that really calls back to said experience yaknow?

But yeah eventually she gets to learn that she's not the monster people wanted her to be, and she manages to make up with Silva by the end of it, and now she's very gentle.

In retrospect, i didn't think of it then bc i didn't know her, but it makes her bonding this quickly with Mugen very sweet. Mugen is pretty much his own "brand of monster" if you will, he has the behavior of a child, he doesn't remember his life before that, he has to be taught how to speak, he's been abandonned because he was different and dangerous, you see him turn into a blue hair mindless creature in the event after the only person he considered home rejected him.... No wonder Tweyen was particularly soft to him, in retrospect. She probably saw a lot of herself in the way he was rejected and basically went "i am not going to be to him what others people have been to me." and she's been nothing but sweet and warm with him.

when i first read SoR i didn't know her so i just thought it was her being kind, but with knowing her own association to this isolation and monstruosity, she probably related hard and was kind because she knew exactly how it would feel otherwise.

happy she found her place now though...

#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #anonymous

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syrips · 5 months

Text

tw: abuse, child abuse mention

wholesome and bittersweet thing a friend told me. i wanted to save it and look at it whenever i feel sad about myself

(context: i went to sleep after venting/mourning how exhausting it is to live with my abusive family. i was trying to get a job before moving to keita but it's difficult. i woke up to this)

imperial: Yeah, your mother has always proven time and time again that she'll sabotage you every time. She will make sure that she can 'control' you, so you have to leave to truly stop it. She's made it very clear she wont stop otherwise. I know it may not be my place to say, but you've been with Keita for ~5 years now, and he has given you more happiness then your ENTIRE family combined over the ~27 years you've lived with them. You say you'd be a burden, but that implies that you'd be a net negative moving in with Keita. But Keita (in my opinion) has made it clear that he wants you to be happy. To be mentally well. And is willing to do what it takes, because he loves you, and you love him. Just by being in his life is no doubt a positive thing, and that's even when you're at your lows like rn. Imagine actually being able to be yourself and not have to deal with your shit mother. It would be such a positive thing to both of you no longer having to worry about her ruining your day. Those two things alone no doubt far outweigh any negatives bringing you to [keita's city] would entail. But there's also just how quirky and funny you are, all the times we play games, there's just no possible way you'd be a burden to Keita Syrips. Not now, and probably not ever.

#happy stuff #helpful stuff #random friend quotes #syrips lore #tw: abuse #tw: child abuse #tw: abuse mention

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