#And id probably like it or at least be okay with it... If we havent know each other for that long... No sorry im uncomfortable

[mrfoox]

You ever think or say something spontaneously without any real previous thoughts and then realize that it's kinda true/legit?

#miranda talking shit #'anyone ive known for at least two years can touch me however they like over the belt. The rest we need to have agreed on it before hand' #It sounds dumb but like.... Yeah. If we have been active friends for at least two years i trust you to touch me however #And id probably like it or at least be okay with it... If we havent know each other for that long... No sorry im uncomfortable #People who earn my trust can do however they want with me almost. Theres kinda an limit bc im more careful with my heart than before #But like... Otherwise ... Yeah if we are friends like that you have probably proven to me to be trustworthy so id be okay with that #Which feels weird to say especially for me since i thought for the longest time it was all about love for me...? #Now im like ah... Most importantly its about trust. So thats probably why this doesnt sound like a big deal for me? #I mean... I wont know until it happens but some things have happened and i was... Rather okay with it all things considered #Im sure there are exceptions but as far as i can think? Yeah no id trust people i love with that. Maybe its easy to say bc i know #None of them is into me in that way or would really... Try anything because they respect me? #But ... Intresting thing to have put words on and im like.... It sounds weird for peoples standards but in my head it makes sense

[chilschuck]

Hii!!! I just discovered your blog and i have to say, dude i loooooove the way you write about Chilchuck!!! Absolutely lovely!

If your requests are open, id really like to know your thoughts on Chil intereacting/dating with a reader who's also a hafling? Maybe they're also the shortest of haflings even tho they are an adult? (T^T projecting hard coz I'm 21 and havent grown since 6th grade, literally 4'10 lmfao)

Feel free to ignore if you dont feel comfortable with this ask! Again, love all your works 😭💕

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ WAAAAAH ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! (;;;w;;;) i was so happy to write this because my insert is also a half-foot, so this was fun to do!!! i made this super fluffy so i hope you enjoy it!! <333

— CHILCHUCK: x half-foot reader hcs.

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw + gn!reader! suuuuper fluffy!!

꒰ wc: ꒱ 562

✦ hope this is okay anon!!! this was so fun and now i’m in such a fluffy mood. (;;;w;;;) just wanna pull him close and give him so much love, waaaaah.

✦ Chilchuck would definitely use the height difference he has to his advantage. When you’ve been dating for a while, I like to think he’d pull you to his chest and rest his head on your shoulder, enjoying the proximity. Maybe he even rests his chin on top of your head when he’s feeling affectionate.

✦ Cuddling with this man as another half-foot is so nice. He’s going to be the big spoon most nights to feel protective, and in doing so he’s wrapping you up in that warm body of his. If you feel like spoiling him, snuggle your head into his chest as he holds you, wrapping your arms around him. He’d probably melt into the blankets.

✦ We know Chilchuck isn’t very affectionate in front of others, but I like to imagine him still pulling you close behind closed doors and burying his head into your neck after a long day. Maybe he comes home and wordlessly kisses your forehead, pulling you into him and sighing. (He’ll probably not talk about anything that happened at work, but at least he shows you he’s there!)

✦ As you’re another half-foot, dancing with him is a must! Especially after he’s had a few drinks in his system. We know from that one piece of official art that he can, in fact, dance a bit, so I can see him pulling you in as well. Any time you two can, dance with him and enjoy how big his smile is when you grab his hand that’s held out to you.

✦ I saw other people headcanon this, but imagine wearing his clothes and having them be a little baggy on you. You enjoy it a bit too much, going through his laundry and finding something of his to wear. Chilchuck will get a little red in the face at the sight of you in his shirts, but he’ll wave it off and mumble how nice you look.

✦ Leaning up to kiss his cheek and pulling him by his belt towards you will definitely get him a little flustered. We know how this man is with affection, but if it’s from you, it gets his heart beating a good bit. Decorate his face in kisses by pulling him down gently by his neckwarmer and watch as he lifts his hands up to shakily hold your waist. Sometimes he even pulls you to his lips to get what he really wants if you keep teasing him like this.

✦ Going back to cuddling, if you decide to share a bedroll with him, he’s the perfect sleeping partner. Seeing as he likes to sleep on his back, you can easily slot up against his side and rest your head against his chest. He’ll wrap an arm around you to subconsciously pull you closer in the middle of the night. (Be prepared to get super warm and toasty while sleeping now!)

✦ Chilchuck thinks your height difference is cute, but he’ll never admit it out loud. You can use it to your advantage too by walking past him and kissing his shoulder. Maybe even wrapping your arms around his waist and kissing the back of his neck. Chil will jump a bit at first, but lean into your touch, especially if you nuzzle into his shoulders. After all, you’re definitely a soft spot for him.

— dividers by @/cafekitsune!! <33

#⟡ lilia writes! 🌿 #i really hope you enjoy lovely!!!! #you guys always have such good requests!!! #getting through them slowly but surely!! #i promise to do some other charas soon too!!! <333 #i have a laios rq coming up! #chilchuck x reader #dunmeshi x reader #delicious in dungeon x reader #chilchuck tims x reader #dungeon meshi x reader

[claudiathegremlin]

im bored, so im gonna rant about alastor's breakdown scene

deal with it

(i also may have lost the post with most of my info but whatever shut up/j)

WARNING: MAJOR spoilers for for hazbin hotel

if you havent watched it all the way through, id reccomend that-

also speak of sensitive topics such as father issues, mental breakdowns,

i feel like i should say this, i am NOT a psychiatrist, in ANY way shape or form, and im just speaking from prior knowledge and experience, aand also my friend who has studied psychology and all that jazz immensely (say hi to ros! :)

i also make an excess of unnecessary and dumb jokes so if you cant handle that bye i guess (/j)

(will also include random images here and there of him, bcz why not)

okay, so i dont think its that much of a secret that alastor is NOT okay, mentally (and physically, i mean, look at that gash thats not healthy smh)

it could NOT have been made ANY clearer that theres something wrong going on in this mans head, and its... uhm whats the word help ive backed myself in to a corner here

theres more than one s o m e t h i n g thats wrong, i guess, and im here to give my opinion and theory on the matter so uhhhhhh

make sure to SMASH THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE BUTTON FOR MORE AMAZING CONTENT1!1!1!!/j

okay very dumb and idiotic jokes aside smh, im gonna explore and explain each one of the reasons i think this guy is not okay, starting with

d r u m r o l l

father issues! yayyyyy amazinggggg totally not horrible haha whaatt.. anyways, there are numerous hints that alastor had, at the very least, a very problematic father, and, hey, ever notice how he's more comfortable around women?? and that he was a confirmed 'mamma's boy'? yeah, based on those two things (i only provided two reasons because, haha, i may or may not have lost the post i was using for info) i think we can concur that he had atleast SOME sort of father issues, and not the "oh yeah he's just an annoying goofy fella" kind of father issues

of course, we ALSO have the deal he made, which was brought up briefly in episode 5, and 8

and there i s kind of a funky little debate on who the deal was with, and what it was for, but the two main cantidates are lilith, and roo

and who knows what lilith/roo makes him do, even? ...okay, aside from lilith/roo, who would be the ones making him do things-

i dont know, theres not alot i can say on this matter other than its most likely alastor made a deal with either lilith or roo to save his power or something, and briefly bring up the fact that he probably does have to do some things here and there, and the fact that if it i s lilith he made the deal with, she probably sent him to help out with the hotel, maybe, i dont know

WHEWWWW OKAY THEN lets get in to some of his behaviours that are n o t at ALL good or normal, the way he treats husk and reacts to him 'caring' about his 'friends' wooo yayyyyy

also heres another alastor image so you little grubs(/j) dont get bored at the lack of things to look at woo

lets start with how he treats husk, thats just, thats not nice man dont do that :(

jokes aside though, there HAS to be some reason that he treats him like this, theres no way that its just because he owns his soul- like, unless husk did something reaallyyy bad theres no reason to treat him like that (granted, alastor IS in hell for a reason, and is NOT a normal or good person)

anyway thats it for this section because i really dont have anything and im relying on the wiki and memory alone to get me through this post shush :(

okay lets talk about his reaction to him nearly dying for his 'friends' and actually caring about them

its clear that this man has some sort of issues with caring about people, and there has GOT to be more than one reason why other than "oh no people are gonna think im a softie thats no good :( *has a breakdown musically*" i mean, it COULD be just that one, but i just really dont think it is honestly, i dont really have that diffinitive of a reason, i just really think that something happened that made him n o t want to get attached to people,

and i REALLLYYYY want to know what that reason is in season two

alright, for the last bit of this post, i think we should discuss the fact that he always smiles

we DO know that one of the reasons is that, to him atleast, a smile is a valuable tool, that keeps your friends inspired, and your enemys guessing, and always ensures YOU'RE the one in control

but its HEAVILY implied in this image that there is another reason,

if you observe close enough (not really that close, but hey who has perfect eyesight not me) you can see it looks like his mouth is stitched, and even more so to be literally always smiling so theres a possibility that either lilith or roo is ALSO forcing him to smile

then again it could just be something about him literally not being able to talk about his deal, which is also plausible

...or thats just what he looks like idk im not here to judge his fashion choices

CONGRATULATIONS!! you made it to the end of my stupid post! keep in mind that any and all of this could change at any given point, and i will update it accordingly....if i remember to

i am not using this in any way to condone his actions AT ALL, you shouldent be a cannibal, or a serial killer, or be manipulative (is that the right word???), thats unswag smh, and i am NOT AT ALL a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, once again, i only really know some of these things because my friend rambles about them, and i used to get in to crime and psychology documentaries when i was bored

so i am not at ALL a professional

thanks for reading this shit show of a post

#alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #radio demon #hazbin hotel #hazbin

[cogbreath]

i waint to hea r your bbt things

sheldon is also not the only one whos autistic imo. im not certain of who i all headcanon as such, but i feel its a fitting one for amy and bernadette actually. i think a lot of the problems with the way sheldon's autism is written is the fact that other characters don't *respect* him about it. like his needs and behaviors are often belittled or treated as nonsensical. overall i think everyone should be much kinder and understanding about it towards him seeing as they are literally his friends and all.

also probably a nitpicky thing and a matter of my own autistic sensory preferences but i feel it makes more sense for sheldon to NOT wear his sleeves rolled up for sensory reasons. whatever though im allowed to project. also i think they missed an opportunity to explore his interest in vexillology more? like there was maybe 1 or 2 episodes i remember about it but if youve ever met a vexillology enjoyer you know its a common topic they gush about.

speaking of gushing i think the dynamic between sheldon and amy would be like. two autistic best friends who love to infodump at eachother and do parallel activities. at most maybe they have some sort of queerplatonic thing going on? but im not actually super versed in what that means despite being aromantic myself xP

oh anothet thing that bothers me is how the female characters are written as not getting any of the geeky stuff??? it's stupid. like, yeah penny isnt a nerd, but she's an aspiring actress i think she would know what a star trek is. -_- honestly like, all of them would understand a lot of those things and are probably into similar stuff. bbt seems to think that like, these are Guy interests that all women dont understand or get when in reality like, dc comics n shit like that, literally your average person can follow along so i hate that they make the women seem as if they don't understand star wars references.

obviously this is probably one of the most common complaints about the show but id love to have made a lot of the pop culture references controlled and niche. we dont need a reference every other 5 minutes, id like to define each character's interests in a more sensicle way outside of just "haha guys look theres nerd stuff on tv hahah did you guys get that reference"?

also another problem is the way howard behaves. like some episodes his behavior is like, sexual harassment at times, which is met with a laugh track every time. not cool, and unnecessary, should be written to be more respectful. and then of course id like to make him have a better view of his mother, the dynamic in the show is one based off of antisemitic stereotypes about jewish mothers, and thats shitty. i wont retcon it to be a perfect mother/son relationship, like they would definitely still bicker, but i want to potray his mother as more than nagging and obsessive, like perhaps she does care too much and doesn't always treat him as an adult at times, but i dont find a lot of the overall nastiness that happens in the show between them to be funny or interesting.

raj is a pretty okay character imho, but definitely needs to be written more respectfully. He is a major example of the trope of characters of colour being sidelined. like the fact he was the ONLY character to be single in the end of the series? its kinda fucked up lol. obviously as mentioned before i think raj x howard should be the canon outcome. howeber both of them are bisexual, they both are potrayed as having interest in women; but i also think their interest in eachother is serious, or at least should be written as such. its also probably likely that the way he's written in terms of his culture should be improved but i havent gotten around to that just yet. i also think his anxiety issues should have been written with more respect, like the fact he was physically unable to talk to girls i think shouldnt have been an issue he had with *just* women. it seems they were trying to potray him as having selective mutism? but obviously thats not a thing that ONLY happens when one is a around ppl they r attracted to.

bernadette im actually rlly excited to write better because she reminds me of myself at times. i will dial her mischievous nature and her interest in microbiology up to 10. i will make her infodump about prions just i do.

also imho leonard is transmasc. i dont have any like, "evidence" or theory for why i think that other than just he feels that way to me. not that we even need justifications for transgender headcanons around these parts though.

also wil wheaton will NOT be existing anymore as a character in the narrative due to the fact he blocked me on tumblr for some dumbass shit. LOL.

uh i didnt expect to actually have all that much to say about this show... LOL.. enjoy my rambling!

[clearlitebergaming]

time to write down semi-coherent thought about EoD +it's post expac!

so.. somehow, compared to previous expac n living worlds, EoD feels uh, short? idk, im a person that space out story and not binge everything, but even then EoD feels short

the only memorable things i remember is stuffs with aurene and rama. everything else feels kinda like blurr.... i remember liking the humor.

i did the each map meta events this time. it does helps with the story. dragon's end especially. this time anet put on big achie icon to remind me 'hey, do the meta first before ending the story, or you'll feel like HoT all over again' -- which i appreciated

finale is good tho! super nice. i see they want to culminate the whole dragon cycle saga into these last part. certainly have epic feeling to it.

i like the post expac stuffs too. felt bad for rama for his bothced party. it felt super painful....

LOVING the date with canach

i also like how major npc in previous map's meta is present for gyala delve's story. it ties off nicely! still feels lack of build up and resolution tho. im used to it by this point, gw2 is never great at building up and resolution. and i already got spoiled about it, so im not disappointed to see lack of trahearne hahahaha

it IS jarring to see gw2 suddenly utilize NAKAMA POWAA in post expac in that manner. its so anime. i dont dislike it, could be written more smoothly. VA is doing amazing. wish id see more distressed commander in the future

can i say one thing tho, the part where aurene 'said goodbye' should be done in cgi / cinematic. unless somehow i dont see it....?

ok so gameplay wise. i never did high end content, so when it came to instanced boss fight, i was pleasantly surprised they have more defined pattern n mechanic in normal content. my xiv instict kicks back in >:3 still hate when doing strike that KO'd member cant be rezzed tho :<

being able to fish is highlight of this expac not ironically. i spend many time just fishing.

seitung is my fav map this time. its pretty, and easy to get around.

new kaineng is novel in that its a 'city' that is also explorable map. but novel wore off when getting around is hard. i remember i got motion sickness often when im in that map. maybe i just havent memorize ziplines n lift location. almost felt like tangled depth, but concrete. almost, but TD is worse. echovald wild.... is also a bit confusing to get around, but at least the ground level have 'clear path' i can blaze with roller beetle to get around for meta wwww dragons end is... okay. its a map for grand meta event, the main attraction is not on the scenery, as long as i can get around quickly, im fine with it.

and then, stuffs i dont like that i nitpick. the inflammatory part. the part that probably make people whos unfortunate to read this itching to make counter post in expressing disagreement (probably lol)

in the cut.

i hate they have to kill mai trin. she doesnt have to die, her death doesnt further anything. she can jsut be benched. it makes me dislike anka even more. i dont like her when shes hurting aurene, and i feel like her reasoning is stupid. she has similar vibe to scarlet in wanting destruction, but scarlet is bound to mordremoth, she has no choice. beside, making mai trin+scarlet fend off anka is super epic, it could be redemption for both girls. up to this point, i dont have 'ugh i dont like this character' in petty way, and congratz anka for earning that place (zojja came close, i dislike her being super petty and abbrassive esp to eir --i dont even like eir that much. but shes felt very different when i play as asura, shes super caring in tough big sister way. so i can let her slide)

post soo won got loose, and we have to confront joon, but joon threw a big tantrum. i understand shes stressed and not thinking clearly, loosing soo won and putting the whole cantha on energy disaster, but when she rambles about 'not sorry for being who she is/can' i was liek, "girl idk where that came from, now is not the time!" super out of left field. no one in commander side is questioning her ability, she just almost trauma dump on commander right when aurene is at stake.

now when i think about it, i got riled up real hot when either taimi or aurene got in harms way lol.

on to post expac stuffs,

stop making me care about eir goddamn it. its getting annoying at this point. i have nothing against eir, i just dont feel anything, stop making me to. if anything i felt bad for killing trahearne, but we cant have that grieve can we, anet?

of all ppl anet think commander is feeling guilty for...

you know who i feel more guilty for instead of cinder? those poor unarmed bastards smodur told me to drop bombs to inside bunker in drizzle wood.

id even go further by saying my commander still have regrets over shelling his own troops in PS, or over Tonn and Apatia's death. tho i understand anet cant do it because they long ditched permutations.

well, its not that bad actually.

will try to save to buy SOTO for now, or trying to get sule up to EoD as well.

#gw2 #gw2 rambles #end of dragon

[troph4eum]

hey ik its been a while since ive posted but i like that this is always here for when i have something i wanna talk about.

anyways so a while ago i released a song called do you see your god in me and i wanted to talk about the whole concept of the "god" within someone.

just a warning for those who r reading this: this is going to be a more personal post with me talking about more specific things going on in my life as this involves explaining my music which is one of if not the most personal thing to me. if youre not interested in that then youre free to move on. also this is probably gonna be long as fuck just like my other posts on here.

before getting back to the main subject let me give some context.

do you see your god in me was written about shinji and kaworu from evangelion. if you havent seen it then its fine ill be explaining the relevant stuff with them in this post. heres the link to the song if you want to listen to it and heres the genius page if you just want to read the lyrics

okay now on to what i wanted to talk about

so being completely honest i never truly knew what i meant by the "god in someone" until like half an hour ago when i really started to think about it. it was always something i knew like the idea of but could never put it into words so i just always assumed i would understand when im older. which is now proving to be true. i began really asking myself the question of what it means after i released another song called "overcoming toxicity" where theres an interpolation of the chorus from do you see your god in me at the end. ill talk more about that song in another post because it has its own history that requires its own explanation but my point is that it all came to a conclusion not tonight while i was walking around thinking of what i want to eat.

i always knew the god in someone would likely need to be revealed through their death. most likely suicide. that was the idea i had when writing the song at least. this is because in nge kaworu is an angel and he was only truly freed from his fate and was truly able to be himself when he died on his own terms at the hands of shinji. or at least thats how im interpreting those events evangelions symbolism leaves a lot of room for interpretation and tbh idk whats commonly agreed upon i just know how i perceive aspects of the story. anyways a major point in evangelion is humans not being able to understand one another when theyre alive. thats what the third impact is all about where all of humanity essentially dies and forms one collective consciousness with nothing held back. and i think this concept of the "god in someone" has a lot to do with that. but the question the title of the song asks didnt make a lot of sense. because if the god in you is revealed through death what would it mean for someone to see their god in you? thats what i always had trouble understanding and the explanation i have is subject to change and if you have your own explanation of it id love to hear it. but the conclusion i came to revolves around the lies that we tell. humans are liars. now im not saying this in a cynical way i think a lot of the lies we tell are subconscious and mostly harmless. but they do accumulate over time. and its not just the lies we tell others but the lies we tell ourselves whether we know were lying or not. ive always felt like the person inside my head is different than the person whos living my life and i think thats the god in me. the person who exists not as a result of all the lies that they tell and have been told but the person who simply exists.

the reason why i said the god in you is revealed in death and more specifically suicide is because of how brutally honest death is and how vulnerable and honest suicide is. now this isnt me glorifying death or suicide just to be completely clear this is coming from someone whos struggled with suicidal thoughts and contemplation. its because ive dealt with those thoughts that ik how honest it is. its honest to the point its almost scary its like its too real. but my point is the actions you take when approaching death are likely going to be as close as to the real you as possible. any last words or actions will be as genuine as possible because you know you wont have a chance to do anything else. now of course this isnt universal whatever exceptions to what im saying are valid contradictions im not saying this is law im just explaining my thoughts that have already filtered those possibilities out and this is already long enough without me explaining every exception to everything i say.

now the term "god" is used because of the connection to nge with kaworu being an angel but i thought ab it and decided that this definition can be helpful in coming to another conclusion

"the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority; the supreme being."

the world only exists to us how we perceive it so our minds are actively creating (being used in a loose sense) the universe by experiencing it through our senses and because we can be aware of this our minds dont really exist within the universe as we experience it. so in a way we are our own gods as we can choose (to a certain extent) how to perceive the world around us.

now getting back to the question of "do you see your god in me" i think it all comes down to truly being able to relate to another person and fell comfortable and understood by them and for you to also be relatable, comforting, and able to understand them. its a mutual connection the 2 of you share when theres nothing holding you back. it seems so simple but i think its such a unique and beautiful experience.

tbh thats really all ive figured out about that aspect of it so far. like i said i only really came to understand it recently and everything else i have to say has more to do with overcoming toxicity which honestly deserves its own post bc there are a lot of strong thoughts and feelings involving that song that doesnt just include this topic. so i think im just gonna end it here.

as always if u read all this bullshit ty ik im a generational yapper but it helps alleviate the stress of having it all in my head.

#SoundCloud #music #trophaeum #thoughts #evangelion #nge #philosophy

[blessedshortcake]

SPOILERS FOR MEGAMIND AND MEGAMIND "2" youve been warned

Hi chat im here to bitch and whine give my 2 cents on the new movie even tho im like. A little late. Obligatory read more

I havent seen anyone talk about this yet so im starting with it but... why did they rename Minion? I am not Too bothered by it, i mean a little but thats probably just me im just mostly confused? Is it because of the Minions stuff? So hes more uniqe? Augh my poor boy they did him so dirty

Point 2. Roxanne. What. Just what. Why did they make her like that? I loved how she had different clothes for (probably) every scene, that she wasnt just a generic cartoon character wearing the same outfit for the whole 90 something minutes and yet they just... put her in an (in my opinion) ugly dress and made her hate her job?

She seemed happy in the first movie for the most part. She wrote her own speech in the first scene of it!! I get that things are different now that Megamind is a hero but ITS BEEN 2 DAYS!! Unless her aspirations changed in the first movie and im just too tired to remember then its a huge change. Besides that she was.... okay i guess? Shrug i liked the original more

Oh right! Their relationship or lack there of with Megamind! I was never a huge shipper of them but i didnt mind. I find it sweet at most since they can be silly together but only if given more time and fleshed out more. Im more interested in seeing their progression, learning about each other, adressing past stuff (like how Megamind was hiding as Bernard for god knows how long i am so tired i cant remember this move killed my brain) and i dont care if theyre a couple or just friends or something in between for all of that

But...... seeing as (and i can only assume) the first movies last scene of him accepting the new museum that was rebuilt for his image happened months after the Titan thing and they literally Kissed and whatever id ASSUME there is something between them to kiss like that IN A PUBLIC EVENT IN FRONT OF THE CITY?

And yes i love my platonic kisses but lets be real. This was made by a Company and this is a het couple theres no way they would let them kiss as just friends. Like id be the happiest mf on earth if they did but from previous movie track records i dont think thats the case

If the movie was like set between the Titan thing and the reopen of the museum id understand. Then yeah, things are complicated between them. But we SEE the museum like at least once so??? Ugh i dont know why im so caught up on everything this movie was full of contradictions

Before i go to the main issue (the whole movie is the issue but i digress) i wanna talk about the world itself.

Where did the smart phone come from?????? Hello??? Movie 1 had flip phones at best + whatever Megamind made but hes like a genius so like that doesnt quite fall into public tech stuff. Why did they nerf the dehydration gun? That was instant or near instant before why did it take seconds now?? Megamind has a whole new lair AFTER 2 DAYS-

Why is everyone so stupid and disrespectful? The whole key ceremony was 100% unneeded if hes already an esteemed hero? Whatever.

Now the main bone i have to pick. MEGAMIND.

He could not be more OOC. I cant belive this was an actual movie not like some fan project. God

They already had a whole thing in the first movie how he needs Minion more and he needs to listen to him and how he appreciates him. Why did we go back to ground 0?

If they REALLY needed a conflict where Minion wanted to be a sidekick and Megamind didnt want that to happen (which... i dont even know why they needed that? Perhaps with Minion away from the lair when the DS showed up the issue dragged on much longer? Shrug) THEN THEY COULD HAVE DONE AAAANYTHING ELSE!!!

Might i remind the creators that in the highpoint of the first movie, when Minion used the disguise watch and helped Roxanne escape so Megamind can defeat Titan as a fake Metro Man he got (kinda) hurt? Like his tank shattered and he was drying out. Sure he was fine but THAT already couldve been a better motivator!!

Megamind being scared to let Minion be his sidekick because he has been with him for all of his life, his first and best friend in the whole galaxy, his caretaker since he was a baby, his last connection to his home planet even, got hurt and could have easily died. I mean they pretty much killed like 3 people if not more in this movie so its not far fetched but like-

The conflict being Megamind grapping with his concience (spelling??) of wanting to make Minion happy and letting him express himself more, and his terror of the possibility of losing him. Like if thats too heavy they can make it more lighthearted and jokey there are Definitely ways to do that but that already is a better conflict oh my GOD.

Also DS couldve been soloed with the dehydratuion gun if it wasnt nerfed. He just walks behind them and bam. Problem solved. What the hell

point 3? I lost count. WHY DID THEY DUMB HIM DOWNNNNNNN OMG

HES SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS!! Sure Minion takes care of him since he can get too in his head with his ideas as we see. Multiple times. But hes not an idiot. He would know how a toaster WORKS HES NOT XBDNSN MAIMS!!

Anyway

I finished the movie like an hour ago but i already forgot that little girls name oops. She was... weird. I wasnt too annoyed about her more so confused? Since shes the only person with a smart phone? And she had half a million followers for her Megamind blog? IN 2 DAYS? Right. Felt very forced to put her into any and all of the scenes

Back to our massacared blue hero. He would NEVER be like that. More specifically with the DS. One of the main parts of him is that he was lonely!! He never had friends!! He is sooo socially stunted he doesnt know many many basic concepts as an adult!! Like how phones work or views or i cant remember anything else what a disgrace but like!!

He would never go to evil school. Why would there be an evil school also?? But he never had anyone but Minion!! He was sooo lonely without Metroman he had to DIY a new dude!! He became a villian because people kept bullying him for being different and weird and so he decided to become what they make him out to be! If he had friends like how the DS makes it out to be, hell, like how the movie makes it out to be then he would never abandon them like that. He would NEVER

Also him the leader?? Are you kidding me?? Where was Minion during all that? And even then why didnt they just use the original DS material? I was hoping to see the fire lady where did she go :( (i cant remember any names tonight huh)

Everyone is so dumb in this movie it hurts. 0 spacial awareness, the conversations dont feel like they fit together, some scenes they literally repeat stuff that was either said already or just dont relate at all. I dont know why that is but it bothered me a lot

The DS looked and acted dumb, they were the most generic ass villains like... WHY DIDNT YOU USE THE ORIGINAL- whatever im. Sigh. But really it was so weird???? If Megamind was supposed to be their LEADER why were they so disrespectful to him? He feared them plenty and yeah sure its because he lied to them but leaders usually are respected. They treated him like shit and didnt listen to him once. Rushed him the whole time and kept making him do things like....... girl... thats your LEADER. Ex leader at worst. Maybe dont throw a party in his HOUSE without even asking or warning him and tell him to not be a party pooper when he demands you to stop it. I have a headache now

The ending was....... interesting. Roxanne becoming mayor feels unrealistic and rushed but alas it fits to the theme of the movie because of that (aka being rushed and unrealistic). The M signal is. Laughable. Silly at the very best. It got a laugh out of me but its just.... unneeded. I dont know i dont get why they had to add it you know. Also obligatory Minion out of the tank moment oh wow woo yippe Why

Overall? There were like 3 jokes at best that i liked + the dance off scene was nice. Funny and kinda in character even. The rest? I will be mad about it forever. 1.5/10

#this took 30 mins to type #im not reading back to edit it #idc #this is my midnight rambles #🧶 #im gonna eat some cheese and rewatch the original movie to rid my thoughts of this evil #megamind #megamind 2 #megamind vs the doom syndicate #this is probably not all thats in my head about it but again #it is midnight and i have a headache so #this is mostly incoherent #long post #cake rambles #cake rants

[olive-heathcliffe-notbps]

how DO alternates get attached, anyway? what does it even do other than make you not wanna kill people?

wish i knew bro it would make shit so much easier on me

but fr. its hard 2 really give a concrete answer bcuz us alts see attachment as like. taboo basically. if gabe catches you getting attached to a human it uh. its not pretty. other than the torture you get for disobeying Him you get like... exiled almost, or... whats the word He used once?

excommunicated. yeah  that one.

there have been studies on attachment though, i think the u.s... uh... well idr the exact name but it was some fancy shmancy government dept thats done a couple . havent read em though LOL

anyways. ig i can try to explain as best i can from my experience w attachment . n atlas can chime in if he wants too idk and uh . ill try to make it make sense (spoilers it probably still wont lmao). this isnt a definitive like... guide or anything im basically just posting general rambles abt what ive learned over my days lol

so. i think all alternates want to be loved, no matter how far down theyve buried that want. were conditioned from creation to think that gabriel is the only one who can love us, but He wont unless we follow His command to the letter. and what that translates to is killing humans senselessly . and not only that but like. us alts... we like violence. we want to kill. its integral to our beings. none of us can really be "nice" or "good" 24/7 and that uh ... tends to sound scary to the average person . so even if we did all collectively decide to turn against gabe and humans like... magically forgave us for killing and kidnapping thousands of people, its not like we could ever be "normal" members of society. its not like we could ever be loved. so no one really bothers trying.

anyways, from what i can tell, alternate attachment happens when that kinda barrier between humans and alts gets broken (at least from the alt's perspective), and it typically happens when an alt is in close proximity to its assigned victim for a long period of time. that time varies from alt to alt too, like it deffo took a lot longer for atlas to get attached to cesar than it did for me to get attached to mark. nd i could be wrong abt this but i also noticed like. the more a victim interacts w their alternate, even if theyre doing it in a threatened or scared way, the more likely it is for the alt to get attached. "taking an interest" in a specific human is the most telltale sign of attachment, to the point that the phrase is pretty much "slang" for it among alts .

also just to clear this up: while alternate attachment can be romantic, it absolutely doesnt have to be. not at all. id describe my attachment to mark as like. familial honestly. and sometimes there arent even human words to describe an alts attacemt. its a spectrum yk? so dont think any of this is inheritly romantic or some shit cuz ill beat you up

as for what it does. well .

you dont know when u first meet a human that youre gonna get attached. i certainly didnt  . so u just kinda do ur thing n shit, but sometimes it doesnt work and the human lives so ur like. okay ill try again . or maybe youre just doing a long job and ur learning all of ur victims habits n shit. and thats where it kinda begins

the first thing you notice is that like. even though its ur job to kill your human its like. its fun to keep them alive . yk  . you grow to like the sound of em screaming in terror , or them freezing up when they see you . whcih. yeah that sounds kinda fucked to you guys but . just bear w me okay  .

anyways. eventually it gets to the point where, even if youve been given several opportunities to kill your human, you dont take them cuz its just that fun to mess w em. this is kinda where the "taking an interest" thing comes in  too . and then THAT goes into "ok wait . do i rlly have to kill them eventually  ?? i dont want to do that theyre funny :(((("

eventually you realize that like. shit . i dont want this human to die at all. like. at ALL. to the point you'd fight off other threats just to keep them safe. and you get this just- rush of an emotion youve never felt before whenever youre around them. aand you realize. thats love. you feel love towards them, no matter what kind of love that is. its. it feels so wrong at first and- and you hate it, but it just feels so right to the point where you cant imagine feeling any other way about them.

and as you may have guessed. you start to see the human as your own. its kinda hard to really describe but,, it makes sense if you experience it. you need to protect them and love them and hold them so so close or else they might get away from you. and you change yourself so that you can be worthy of being loved back. its. ough its a crazy ass feeling for sure

this, uh,, doesnt come without problems thouugh. for one just cuz an alternates attached to a human doesnt mean the human necessarily likes them back. in fact its honestly really lucky that both me and atlas got attached to humans that actually didnt hate us. (for a while at least.) theres a fuck ton of rumors that get spread around of those who got attached and excommunicated, only for the human they were attached to kill themself because they couldnt live with an alt constantly following them around and trying to talk to them.

...i cant describe how lucky i am that mark came back.

not to mention you hafta constantly live in fear all the damn time cuz you could get discovered n tortured at any moment. its. its really shit but damn it if your human doesnt make it all worth it. damn it if you wouldnt endure any kind of danger just to stick with them. damn it if you dont want to comfort them and feel murderous rage whenever theyre sad and.

damn it if they arent yours.

#oh shit i said way more than i thought i did. uh.

[effervescentdragon]

Do you have any hcs about eldritch Peredhil, considering they are part Maia?

hi friend! i think we talked about this a long time ago, and im pretty sure i had something written for you about luthien before my computer crashed the first time, but by valar i cant find it anywhere, i just looked for it.

this is a wonderful ask and imma put the stuff i have under the cut bcs this just inspired me and somehow crystallised some things for me and i tend to ramble a LOT! so thank you! <3

okay so i think our convos probably influenced me without me noticing it somehow, or it was just universe or my brain being weird or whatever. i have a hc that finrod and galadriel are very eldritch in like. half opposite directions. they are both terrifying and they both kinda. see and understand some things but only with hindsight. and it's not the sight, as one may argue cirdan has, but i think they just. know stuff and see stuff and cant make sense of it very much. so id say that celebrian maybe either carries the genes or is herself like that. actually pretty sure she herself is like that bcs in that elrond character study i did, i know that she knew she wasnt going to see arwen again, and she knew it, but elrond didnt.

and elrond himself, ive written him in that fic as seeing things, which i do believe now in hindsight was partially influenced by the way you wrote arwen. i think that the mix of maia and finwean blood in him gave him some powers, but he actively resisted them because they've always given him only heartache (with elros first, then erieinion, at least in my fics) so he chose not to look for what happens, preferring not to know and spare himself some heartache at least. i believe this also gives him grief a lot, because he is always torn between knowing and not knowing.

now i imagine, and im literally developing this as i type, that mixing these powers from nolofinwean, arafinwean, AND melian's sides in celebrian and elrond's children is. well. a lot. i havent given it that much thought if im honest, but im gonna do it now.

so. twins. i think the gift is, not dilluted in them as such. i just think they chose, when they were younger, to disregard it. i imagine them reading accounts of other twins in their family, or listening as erestor and glorfindel perhaps conversed about elrond and elros (in my hcs, erestor was echtleions half brother and went w earendil and then stayed w the twins when they were w maedhros and maglor) and about all they know about ambarussa and elured and elurin and just. decided together not to separate and decided to like. not defy fate but just. to choose eachother always and never allow fate to separate them? if that makes sense. and perhaps one of them can see further than the other, but they choose to supress it and to devote themselves to other endeavors that arent so. fated? like, they want to do stuff because they've put work into it, and not because something was given to them.

arwen, on the other hand. arwen i remember thinking about, grandchild of luthien, every bloodline possible converged in her in a way that's more fated than most tbh, which is a lot to say about a tolkien character. i think she.. hm. i think she knew she was going to walk the steps of luthien, and i think she never even contemplated another choice. i think this knowing came directly from within her, and i think she was aware of much more than anyone else. i also think she had help from irmo especially. now, im connecting the dots for my personal headcanons so bear with me.

i hc findis as having dreams she does not remember that are filled with knowledge. she wanders irmo's domain and he always sends her back without the knowledge she acquired, because it would be too much for her and she'd go insane. i think arwen is exactly like that too. i think they meet in lorien, and i think they get along really well, and i think findis may be the biggest support arwen has ever had. now, findis is feeling guilty about her own sister and how she judged lalwen for leaving with feanaro, whom she still cant stand, so she tries to be for arwen what she never got to be for lalwen. and i think they walk the fields of lorien and findis tells arwen evrrything she can think of and everything that bothers her, and arwen does the same, and yet they never really know it, nor do they know each other when they wake up. i think arwen is stalwarth in her beliefs and her decisions in part because of findis, because findis was always the one with her feet solidly on the ground, and arwen finds that reassurance comforting even without knowing where it comes from. so when she chooses a mortal life, none of the peredhel were ever as sure in that decision as she was, aside from luthien, who was objectively insane for bullying namo, but also so very valid.

hope this answers your question and if i think on anything else, imma add it! also, thank you for inspiring me to brainstorm! :)

#akira answers asks #silm meta #tolkien meta #this got long #arwen #elladan #elrohir #elrond #celebrian #findis #galadriel #finrod #the silmarillion #lotr #lotr meta #tolkien #effervescentdragonrants #ilya-boltagon

[radiandromeda]

Jarrah:

14. If your oc spent one day free from any consequences or recognition for their actions, how would they act?

JARRAH: oh [•—•]

JARRAH: what . . . [•—•]

[A pause, and a breath.]

JARRAH: well [•—•]

JARRAH: that would be really nice [•—•]

JARRAH: . i wonder if alasto would let me drive his buggy again [•—•]

JARRAH: or maybe he would go with me [•—•]

JARRAH: only a night . . [•—•]

[There’s a quiet rattle, and then the sound of graphite moving steadily across paper.]

JARRAH: it would have to be a lot of short trips i think [•—•]

JARRAH: unless i could make plans for this night ahead of time [•—•]

JARRAH: ? [•—•]

[A pencil, probably, changes from drawing uninterrupted lines to shorter, more complicated strokes.]

JARRAH: then i could just organize one big meetup [•—•]

JARRAH: i wouldnt have to worry about consequences of being in public . so we could go somewhere with more space than our hive [•—•]

JARRAH: if i had enough time maybe i could ask tsisxa if he can come ? i think danger and o [•—•]

JARRAH: . well . i dont know if ohnyxx would . like it ? if tsisxa was there ? maybe they might but . danger has seemed like hes doing . [•—•]

JARRAH: . badly . dont tell him i said that [•—•]

JARRAH: i dont know if he would care but it feels mean [•—•]

JARRAH: but those three could be there [•—•]

JARRAH: four with alasto [•—•]

[The pencil pauses for a moment, and traces some long, rapid strokes before resettling into paced print.]

JARRAH: hmm . sypher and orphim should also be there but alasto doesnt get along with either of them [•—•]

JARRAH: or at least he shouldnt be getting along with orphim . maybe if i pick a big enough place they can just avoid each other the whole time . . verita might come with them too ? they could probably keep alasto from talking to orphim i bet [•—•]

JARRAH: sypher and ohnyxx might also be weird but maybe they can also just avoid each other . they seem like theyre doing an okay job of it over text anyway [•—•]

JARRAH: everyone has at least one friend so far i think [•—•]

[The pencil movements slow again, idling.]

JARRAH: who else can i add that will make stable combinations . . . [•—•]

JARRAH: limnos , satyra . . pahari and ellpis and iz maybe but i havent talked to any of those three very much . or . at all im not sure [•—•]

[The pencil begins tracing one long, slow line. It continues for much longer than Jarrah likely has paper to accommodate, if it’s only going in one direction. It drags and speeds up minutely every couple seconds.]

JARRAH: i dont know if satyra would be able to make it . i am . not really sure whats going on with her now . but ep and mecani might be able to ? i wouldnt want mecani to be the only younger one . . . i forget how old she is now [•—•]

JARRAH: should i invite dangers friends ? ofelia and kai . or kro or whatever . i liked akhlys when i talked to her but im not sure she would be a parties person [•—•]

JARRAH: ofelia has to not bring cindar if she comes . and i dont think kai and z [•—•]

[The pencil stops.]

JARRAH: well [•—•]

JARRAH: i guess i cant . stop her from coming . if she wants to . but i dont know why she would [•—•]

JARRAH: id like to see everyone though [•—•]

JARRAH: . . . [•—•]

[There’s one light tap of wood setting down on countertop, and the sound of fabric shifting.]

JARRAH: mm [•—•]

JARRAH: thats what i would do anyway [•—•]

[…]

[-— Automatic disconnection 00:00 —-]

#jarrah #[-—ad—-] #gur-sevraq #was going to do emo teen jarrah but this answer makes me sadder than anything they could possibly have said :’) #random access data

[pansypr3p]

which mcr songs do u skip (i skip wttbp and all of bullets)

ALL OF BULLETS? you are so fucking lucky i like questions. bullets haters besides this one anon need to fucking leave i love bullets and if you dont we cant be friends im sorry. bullets forever. anon stays until they run out of questioms bc im having fun.

okay, but, i am going to get yelled at by my boyfriend and also probably everyone for this, but listen to me, i follow whatever the autism tells me to do, so it is not my fault. blame her (the autism).

NA NA NA —

this is genuinely! one of my favorite songs! okay! in my defense! i fucking love her! and this entire album! danger days lover! but, because shes so popular, it doesnt give me the right mcr vibes for when im in a "literally only listen to mcr for 5 days" state, which is all of the time. i listen to mcr and decaydance and a few other people almost exclusively. so.

PLANETARY (GO!) —

yeah its one of my favorites and yet i skip it all the time. i couldnt tell you why, because i genuinely do love her, but i know i do it bc every time i do i wait like 5 mins and realize i skipped her and yell at myself for it.

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W —

I HAVENT BEEN SKIPPING HER LATELY, OKAY? but again, i usually have a very specific vibe im matching and scarecrow is a.. lower toned song i suppose? its not quite as faced paced or loud, and its often that im just less in the mood. but the fact that its the same beat as the snowflake song delights me so ive been listening to her more.

SUMMERTIME —

see above, honestly! its a very sweet and tender song abt love and i absolutely adore it, but its just not my usual mood.

DESTROYA —

this song feels too dangerous to play most of the time. it feels like if mcr was like 500x scarier (and subsequently 500x hotter) and that is terrifying because i can barely stand them now. if i listen to her more than one day a month i pass out and go into a brief coma. so sorry. shes too hot for me.

THE END. —

wrong vibes! nothing against her . i love her .

WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE —

MASSIVELY overplayed and yet so so underappreciated !!! ugh!!! i love wttbp, but i cant stand it by virtue of "no one knows her like i do" and "the part of this song that is the Wrong Vibe is Way Too Long"

I DONT LOVE YOU —

GREAT SONG FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG however she also suffers from... wrong vibe

CANCER —

see above

MAMA —

i LOVE mama. like. SO much. as much as EVERYONE does. but she also suffers from. Overplayed

TEENAGERS —

teenagers was the first mcr song i ever heard and also the first song i ever actually liked - shes just another overplayed one. to be clear, im not like, AGAINST the ones i call overplayed, they just rub me wrong bc of how often i hear them. theyre played because theyre GOOD tho.

DISENCHANTED —

im obsessed with disenchanted and i always will be, but for me to enjoy her i have to be focused and when i play music (always, in the background, 24/7, literally no i am not kidding i have music playing rn and im watching a show) i am not able to focus on her enough :/

BLOOD —

saying i "dislike" blood is disingenuous because i i find it hard to dislike any mcr song. if u take all the layers apart it drives me crazy i couldnt possibly dislike any of them even a fucking little. but plainly im just not usually in the mood for her LOL

HELENA —

the worst case of overplayed so far. she gets on my nerves bc of that. shes a great song! objectively! but this is the closest i could get to disliking an mcr song

TO THE END —

tbh? dont know why i skip her so much lol

IM NOT OKAY —

the intro is amazing but its not suuper interesting as a song to me ? surface level enjoyment at least, like, id have to focus like i focus on disenchanted to enjoy her properly

GHOST OF YOU —

wrong vibes

#unlike u guys i skip stufd just cuz #bullets is a no skip album for me yeah <3

[magnoliamyrrh]

this is about the convo earlier with being molested by family members..i'm also balkan and i grew up with my grandparents but especially my grandpa inappropriately touching my chest and when i tried to tell my mom, older sis and aunt they all dismissed it as 'ehh he probably didn't mean to/his hand slipped'. i didn't wanna insist and look crazy because i do love my grandpa and he was the only parental figure i had in my life growing up, but at the same time...he did do that. idk if he thought it was normal or what but i think about it often. i can't bring it up with my family again because they'll just ignore it (especially now that he's dead). it's weird to think about how loving and nice he was when he was also doing shit like that from time to time. idk where i'm going with this but yeah. i don't think of myself as someone who was molested as a kid but this shit is definitely normalized. i've seen it in other families where they'd constantly touch and talk about their little boy's genitals... it's so fucked up

it really is fucked up, and its fucked up to realize that so many of us grew up w this.... for a long time i thought this was a me issue not a cultural one - and all the silence and shame around it certainly didnt help w that.... its been fucking weird to think abt the last couple of days since i asked on here abt it. like.. weve really made this SO normal and common huh?? that going against it is outright dismissed or even punished??? i cant help but just keep wondering where the fuck it all went so wrong and how we got here - and whats so wrong that things like this havent been accepted only in the balkans but elsewhere. what. what is wrong with this species. incest is one of the only universal taboos among humans, and most other mammals also have an aversion to it. and yet. we have normalized an abnormal amount of it nontheless over and over again .....? uuuff

im sorry you went through that, and im sorry they didn't take it seriously and listen more to you. thats something that always hurts in particular. discomfort/repulsion is a normal reaction to have and youd expect at least the other women in ur family to care or understand it too, and its rly fucked up when they just... dismiss it or minimize it or make you feel guilty for it or like its your issue or hell do it themselves.. i figure for a lot of them, if theyd accept that what youre saying is bad, itd mean theyd have to accept that things they went through themselves was bad, and they dont wanna do that. so they dont do either.. im sorry that u cant speak abt it and i totally get how him being dead would make it all much harder. in my family at least we v much have a "dont speak ill of the dead" sorta thing, or just excusing the actions of particularly men after they did sorta thing......i still haven't told my family just about anything. any time i ever tried to bring up anything as a kid id get dismissed and ignored at best or be punished or degraded and humiliated at worst so.... learned my lesson on that one but. thank u for sending this, i hate to hear how many of us went through this but also its. nice to know that were not alone in this and that other ppl do get it

and i feel you. its a really confusing mess to try to make sense of how to feel abt ppl like that... be angry? be grossed out, be scared? be numb, be okay with it, pretend it didnt happen? excuse it, explain it away? .... and its just weird in the cases when it wasnt rly something particularly violent, or ""not that bad/bad enough"" ig or towes that line of being able to convince urself that maybe welll it could have been an accident. its weird to know how to feel abt them when they were seemingly ok ppl you cared abt and still do and who were nice other times. .. but also... did shit like this which end of the day just isnt ok. idk... i dont think theres rly a end or solution or one way to feel, i think.... its just kinda bound to be a cocktail of conflicting emotions... im still trying to figure out how to find some sort of. idk, potential resolution or peace w any of it but i haven't rly figured it out yet, i just keep turning it in my mind too

#anon im sending u many hugs and wishing u all the best 🌸 feel free to vent whenever

[ashlee-bonfamille-lyons]

A Haunting Past {Tiny Dancers}

Nemo’s had enough, and Ashlee still isn’t willing to change.

When: June 5th

Where It All Began: Roommate Trouble {Edric/Ashleigh/Finn} Lingering Anixiety {Finn/Nemo} Tomorrow Doesn’t Change {The Ashley’s}

@justkeepdancing-nemo

Nemo: ashlee wtf was ashleigh q doing in finn’s room? You need to tell her to stay the hell away from him, for real. 

Ashlee: she was doing a project with Edric? But yeah I mean, I kind of told her not to go into his space

Nemo: she doesn’t have to sit at Finn’s desk to do a project Nemo: or touch his things Nemo: or get in his face Nemo: she was there to hurt him on purpose, and you know it.

Ashlee: I know, it’s just I can’t stop her Ashlee: I brought it up to her but what else can I do?

Nemo: … you can tell her she’s wrong, and a bully, and to stop? Nemo: you do think what she did was fucked up right? 

Ashlee: I don’t think she should have done it

Ashlee: But I tried, and it’s not about to change her mind

Ashlee: It’s not going to get her to stop

Nemo: cool Nemo: so… you don’t find that kind of disgusting or what? 

Nemo: because personally if one of my friends had locked you in a box and called you names and stuff, and then they did something like that, i wouldnt want to be around them. Though then again i would have probably told them to fuck off during the whole locked in a box thing lol 

Nemo: or maybe the time when that friend passed rumours around school about your dance partner maybe then id be like huh this person seems really awful i wonder why im friends with them 

Ashlee: She’s been my friend since forever Nemo, I don’t know a time without her, I can’t lose her or any of the girls

Nemo: that’s just so… Nemo: you know what actually. i do get it lol. I get it because i guess that’s me with you, isn’t it? I’ve known you forever, even before finn. I basically learned how to dance with you…in a lot of ways that means you know me better than anyone. Nemo: but on the other hand, not really. On the other hand, ive been making excuses for you forever when i knew in my gut it was kind of wrong honestly. Nemo: you should have seen finny, ashlee. He was so upset. He was shaking. it’s disgusting. If she really means that much to you, fine, okay. Not sure i cant just… pretend to keep looking the other way though 

Ashlee(deleted): So you don’t-

Ashlee: What does that mean?

Nemo: i mean it’s messed up that im friends with you when you’ve hurt finn. I know you didn’t do the worse stuff to him, but let’s not pretend like you weren’t involved in a lot of the teasing and stuff. Maybe if you apologized to him, id feel differently but you havent and i dont even know if you think you need to 

Ashlee: So if I apologized that would make it all fine??

Nemo: it would make things not AWFUL Nemo: at least i wouldn't be ashamed that you were my friend!

Nemo: its not like you’re not ashamed of me anyway. Dont you think thats pretty fucked up too? That you have to hide how close we are? 

Ashlee: The girls know it!

Ashlee: If they didn’t I wouldn’t have even stayed partners with you

Ashlee: I didn’t give you up for them either!

Nemo: yeah im your ‘dance partner’ not your friend. Thats how i talk about you to finn and tae and louie too Nemo: and i feel guilty about it. I feel like im doing something wrong, either to you or to finn, especially. And… after seeing Finn the other day? Like, you KNOW what ashleigh did was wrong, but you’re still defending her! Nemo: i just typed liek five different messages but it all came down to me being a hypocrite lol. Bc i dont think you should be friends with the ashleys anymore, because they hurt people. But im friend with an ashley, who has hurt one of my best friends– who has hurt my /boyfriend./ 

Nemo: i dont want to be that person. Finn deserves better from me. 

Nemo: so yeah… i guess im saying i dont want to be friends with an ashley anymore. If that’s the type of person who you really are, someone who hurts other people and enjoys it, and doesn’t apologize for their mistakes, then we shouldn’t be friends. 

Ashlee: But I haven’t hurt others! I don’t enjoy that!

Ashlee: You can’t expect me to control one of my friends or her actions or even apologize on behalf of her when I had no part in it, how does that make any sense. It’s a useless half hearted apology that doesn’t change anything.

Ashlee: I couldn’t have stopped her then and I can’t stop her now

Ashlee: I am nothing of that text

Nemo: ashlee, c’mon. You can’t be that blind. Maybe you weren’t in charge, maybe you didn’t do the worse stuff, but you did hurt finn, and a lot of other people by letting him get bullied– by encouraging the bullying. Im not talking about just a couple of days ago, i’m talking about all of it. Like when ashleigh threw me in the lake and stole my pixie dust lollllll oh wait you didnt know about that bc i didnt tell you bc i was fucking scared of ashleigh!! Nemo: there are a billion other examples. 

Ashlee: you could have told me

Nemo: i didn’t feel like i could. 

Nemo: that doesnt matter anyway. this is about finn. And he isn’t comfortable with you, either ashlee because of the things you’ve done and your friends have done. I hope you do feel sorry about that, and even if you want to stay friends with the ashleys, you should apologize to him anyway. Not for me. But because its the right thing to do. 

Ashlee: but no matter what, we’re not friends anymore

Nemo: i didnt say that. Nemo: i WANT to be friends. I just cant if you’re gonna be friends with the ashleys when they’ll never stop bullying people. But if you stop that, and if you apologize to finn, then maybe. 

Ashlee: even if all your friends hate me no matter what

Nemo: if finn forgives you Nemo: and i’ll do my best to vouch that you’ve changed but i mean it is up to him. He’s the one who was hurt for years and years 

Ashlee: no offense nemo, your friends are never going to forgive me. Whether I make that move or not. Whether I do what’s right or not. Whether you vouch for me or whatever. I’m the devil basically because I’ve been with them my whole life. If our friendship is based on that, it’s probably best we cut it here.

Nemo: i dont think like that. My friends are good people. They’ve never bullied anyone, and they care about me and my happiness too, just like i care about theirs. Maybe you’re right, maybe it will take some time, but i believe they will forgive you if you really are sorry Nemo: i think they’d even like you if you let them get to know the real you 

Ashlee: Optimism at its finest.

Nemo: yeah well thats me. 

Nemo: [deleted] do you at least understand why i have to do this? 

Nemo: if our friendship ends here though, i still hope you find other people besides the ashleys. You deserve friends that embrace you for how you are, not if you agree with them or follow what they say. You deserve friends that make you laugh and feel safe - like ian and tony and mr. simba and berlioz. I’ll always hope those things for you 

Ashlee: I’m sorry and I do mean that. I don’t know if I would have survived the past few years without you. I wish you absolutely everything that you want. I know you’re going to go far and do so much good for the world, in dance and just in general. You deserve the best and I hope it finds you.

Ashlee: But I just don’t know if I can leave them.

Nemo: see when you say something like that… i dunno. It kind of sounds like you want to leave them but you’re scared. and friends don’t make friends scared. 

Nemo: i wish i could do more to help you but i cant with this. I just hope you make the best decision for yourself. and i’ll miss you ashlee 

#justkeepdancing nemo

[rrelationshipadvice]

i think im in love with my friend, and i confessed about a year ago and they don't reciprocate, which i understand, esp bc theyre aro. we're still friends and i care about them a lot, and i miss them a lot since they had to move even further away than before and are going through a lot, and we dont talk as much as before. i try to offer my support as best as i can but they know i am also mentally fragile so they dont open up to me as much (at least i think thats the reason)

im so touch starved i think, and i wanted really hard at one point to be more physically intimate/close with them, i always asked about if they were uncomfortable before and after we hung out, usually i leaned on them or put my head on their shoulder, sometimes hugged or tried to cuddle or hold them, and they always said it was fine, but it also seemed like they were shying away sometimes and not initiating stuff and i was really confused so i kept asking about it, and i think i scared them off by trying to seek this closeness or by asking about it so much instead of letting it happen naturally… they said they realize they arent really comfortable being super physical with anyone so i stopped trying that. they still initate physical contact like tight hugs when we see each other after a long while and putting their head on my shoulder so i feel like its ok if i do the same back sometimes but i dont try to seek it out specifically that much anymore bc i dont understand what theyre okay with really… they dont seem to mind me telling them theyre hot and losing my shit at their preformances, they call me hot sometimes too or appreciate how i look. they have talked about sex and sexual stuff and specifically didnt call themselves ace in a situation where others (including me) were pointed out to be ace so i think theyre not? and they talk about both fictional and irl hot men and sex and sexy fics and stuff. ive been thinking im ace for a while bc ive never really had specific sexual feelings for real people before(only for fictional characters, or like getting turned on when reading fics of a ship i love). but now ive been imagining myself doing stuff with them(so obvious im a virgin too lmao idk how to talk about sex) and i cant tell if im like. Actually experiencing these feelings or if im so attached to them im trying to imagine any possible configuration of a closer relationship to them…

and i keep imagining talking to them about it all and them agreeing to be in a fwb situation or queerplatonic relationship or something… they were okay for a bit with calling us queerplatonic or partners or (fandom term) for very close friends, but we stopped bc they felt it put too much like. pressure on our relationship to be Something and follow certain idk behaviours, and i assume it was because of the closeness i desired too probably then...

so i dont think it would ever happen really, after that, esp since i dont seem like their type, and i think they think im super asexual because i feel relatively uncomfortable casually talking about sex bc im so inexperienced… and also bc im 22 and theyre 19 and internet bullshit has made me feel predatory for a lot of things. i often feel bad or gross even imagining things with them or even being attracted to them because of that. sigh why is shit so complicated :/

ig i dont really have a specific question for advice, really just wanted to share this with Someone bc i dont feel like i can. but if anyone has advice or can emphatize or uncover some nifty aro/ace stuff i dont know of yet bc i havent done enough research id appreciate it lmao, ty for this blog <3

.

#advice #relationship advice #friend advice #dating advice

[lostacelonnie]

The dreaded time returns once again. I hope your first day back wasnt bad. Oh hell yeah peak fuck it we ball right there. & its always nice to have the support system. Oh yeah mt fuji is on my list too i wanna see it. Also id love to see the native birds. Love seein different types of birds. Oh okay words not commonly used bein dropped got it. Occasionally annoying is like the catchphrase of the english language. Oh yeah big same 80 is like my max comfort level for heat before it becomes unbearable. So 42c was like death it sucked so bad. Thanks! I also finally got through jarilo-vi story & playstation beta version opened to test so hopefully soon ill be able to play there. Mobile is hard to play on. Very nice i should check out rain world see what its like. I need to set aside time to draw its a relaxing hobby. I feel that i keep dropping games for a bit. Now that im all caught up on genshin again im trying to play more dredge & river city girls. Maybe even beat them. I wish you luck in your minecraft quest. Fair enough. I get along okay with my half sister but not enough to like. Tell her things. Oh hell yeah congrats on the dye job done. Always feels good. Yeehaw new game mode. Star rail is doin good at havin fun & interesting side stuff to do really. I got so many facts about fish & birds & such in my head at all times but can i remember all of them all the time? No. Such is life with adhd

it really does. but hey i survived the first week AND made friends with the cool alt girls from my class so its not ryover 👍and yeah i was. actually quite surprised how chill my mom is with me being queer but im not complaining. and yeah definitely!!! i dont rlly know a lot about birds but i agree its always nice to see them. and yeah isnt it!!!! tho Being Polish kinda desensitized me to languages being annoying since it is like that as well. while i do operate my mother language quite well, i cannot remember a Single grammar rule ive ever learned. just freestyle it and hope for the best. what the fuck is a przydawka. and ough congrats on surviving that then. im going to alicante with my school pretty soon [mightve mentioned this but i dont remember?] and from what we know its going to be like 25c there and like. damn. here i was getting happy about not having to deal with the heat until the next vacation. but Whatever. AND AHH THATS NICE!! id love to hear ur thoughts on the story i honestly Really like the jarilo vi arc. mobile IS hard to play on. survive out there. RAIN WORLD IS SO GOOD OMG THE GRAPHICS AND STORY ARE AMAZING AND ALL THE DIFFERENT SLUGCATS ARE SO FUN TO PLAY AS...... and ah good luck with that!! i have a little less time now that school is back but ive been trying to at least doodle every day. and ooh i dont recognize either of those, tell me ab them!! i did the genshin archon quest and havent logged in since but it was very fun. excited for the next part. and thank you o7 ill keep you updated on that. and yeah i feel you on that i have a pretty similar relationship with mine, its just that we rarely ever talk. AND THANK YOU!! im probably gonna repeat it soon since, as i said, dye doesnt really like to cooperate with me so its basically gone by now but at least i know this dye stays for at least a bit. i havent played star rail recently aside from the main quest tbh, didnt really have the motivation to do it i guess. BUT i heard the new simulated universe is fun so ill probs check it out Eventually. and yeah it really IS like that

#asks #pen pals

[tiredestsleepiestgirl]

vent.

my partner and i r long distance. when we were getting to know each other online neither one of us wanted to be in any relationship ever but were doing like casual non monogamy irl.

we met in person and he got real weird about me talking about ppl id been regularly hooking up with and after i got back home and we made our relatinship official we also agreed to be basically monogamous. the exception being i wanted to be able to makeout with ppl drunk just 4 funsies, and even this had a lotta strings attached bc he was uncomfortable with it, i laid out that it could only be in public spaces and thered b no handsy stuff.

i wasnt a huge fan of the idea of being monogamous but i was willing to do it 4 him. i also said at the same time that i wouldnt mind if he did want to screw around a bit but he said he doubted thatd happen. cut to a like six months later and he's out clubbing and asks if im alright for him to go home with someone. i say yes thats fine and he goes home with a couple. later i say ive changed my mind and imbalance actually does make me uncomfortable and i dont want it to happen again and he says he's been thinking that he actually would be alright with me sleeping with other people while we're long distance.

now during the last six months since ive been back home we've been calling for multiple hours almost daily, first couple of months it was daily and then when i started working more itd be whenever i wasnt working so at least four days a week and on days i was working we'd still try to get in a short call. and i knew he'd get angsty when he couldnt talk to me over the weekend or if i was busy so id try not to make plans in the evenings too often. and ive been sick for like the last month so havent been able to spend time with ppl in real life. and he's been out more and more with this couple he's befriended.

and im happy for him bc he has trouble maintaining stable friendships and is often so lonely. and i was always the one that felt overwhelmed by calling so often when id had a long day at work or whatever. but now i feel. jarringly alone. and also like the only reason im allowed to sleep around now is bc he's find someone he wants to fuck and the second that changes itll b back to monogamy.

i care for him so much i want to hold him and protect him and i want him to be able to find friendship and community but god it sucks that im just stuck here in bed or at working just waiting for when he'll be able to give me attention again. im happy he's making friends and spending time with them i really want that for him. everything he's doing is stuff i want for him.

but also im out here working 5-7 shifts a week. to help pay for his visit in august. and our future visa costs. and waiting on him. and when would i even find time to sleep around. sunday night i was lying in bed after working my least favourite shift on the week on three hours of sleep and my chest rattling from my stupid chest infection and i knew he was out with his new friends so i didnt bother him.

monday another shift but he was barely replying to my messages all day even whenni said i was worried and didnt know if he was okay and then find out the next day that ofc he slept over on sunday night and spent monday with them. weve talked about that and he said hell tell me when he has plans but even that makes me feel so desperate and needy that's not my usual vibe. im just. ugh.

anyway he's just asked if he can spend the day hanging out with them today, my freeest day to talk of the week. and im a cool girl. i said im so glad ur having such a good time. im so glad u have friends and r working out (theyre going climbing), i hope ull be back in the evening for me? yesyes probably maybe? probably i will have him back with me tonight. coolcoolcoolcool. im gonna be working the next three days str8. the weekends r so busy for me. 4 shifts in 3 days baby. ill miss u ill miss u.

#vent