ashlee-bonfamille-lyons
Gentle Persuasion
Tiny Dancer.
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There is some GOOD in this world, and it’s WORTH fighting for.
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she leaves s t a r d u s t in her wake
the darkness of her past lingers, coils around her
threatens to dull her light
but, she carries ( galaxies ) in her heart
starlight and worlds untold, warmth of the sun in her very soul
that can never be stolen away
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| I have a lot, I’m lucky. I wanna keep it.
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One Look Back {Simberlee}
Ashlee says goodbye to Simba & Berlioz.
Date: A couple days after the showcase.
@simba-bonfamille-lyons @ber-bonfamille-lyons
Ashlee
This was it, it.
As hard as saying good to Nemo was, saying goodbye to Berlioz and Simba felt even harder, even bigger. It didn’t matter that she knew she could come back anytime. She wanted to be successful, she wanted to be someone they could brag about.
And that meant entering this new chapter with her head held as high as possible and with a fighting attitude.
Still with the tracks behind them and the clock counting down until she would step on that train, she was tempted to run away. To run back to her emptyish room and hide there.
But she wouldn’t because she had the proper skills in place to handle anything thrown at her.
“If you cry I’m going to cry. So no one is allowed to cry.” Ashlee warned.
BERLIOZ:
“Well good thing for you is I’m not much of a cryer,” joked Berlioz.
A bit of a lie, really. Berlioz definitely cried plenty, especially when it came to stress and anxiety. But he wasn’t stressed and he wasn’t anxious. He was happy for Ashlee, eh? He was even envious of her, because here she was, getting out of Swynlake, going to her dream job in a big city – the exact thing that Berlioz wanted for himself.
How could he cry with all that? He wanted to cheer for her. So Ashlee got a smile, soft and warm and proud all at once.
“Maybe can’t say the same for this one though…” Berlioz said, glancing at Simba.
SIMBA:
Simba was already crying, thank you.
He was being quiet about it, but he’d been crying behind his sunglasses on the way to the train station. There was something wrong about that. It shouldn’t be a nice, sunny day on the day that Ashlee was leaving. It should be a horrible, miserable day. Grey and gloomy.
Listen--Simba was happy for Ashlee too, but he wasn’t good at saying goodbye. He could be proud of her. And he was. (She’d come so far from the sad, scared kid that Simba and Berlioz had inherited.) He could be excited for her. And he was. But, he would also miss her. And he was already worried about her.
And he wasn’t good at saying goodbye.
So, Simba glanced away--blinked and sniffled. He wasn’t really crying. Not proper tears. But they shined in his eyes (and one or two had definitely slipped out on the drive here). He looked back at them both.
“What? I’m not crying. It’s fine. It’s fine. You’re gonna be fine.” Simba couldn’t really tell if he was saying that for her or for him.
Ashlee
Yeah, Ashlee wasn’t surprised about Simba crying. That was a given but she didn’t want to tear up again. This was hard enough already saying goodbye to Nemo. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to say bye to Simba or Berlioz too.
Especially with that smile on Berlioz’s face.
It made her want to get all emotional. To have made someone that proud. It was a feeling she would never forget.
“Are you going to be fine though?” Ashlee questioned a raised eyebrow at Simba and then to Berlioz although her eyes were already starting to tear up too.
BERLIOZ:
Berlioz smiled softly at Simba, stepping closer to his husband and putting his hand on the back of his neck. He gave it a familiar squeeze. He’d done this a hundred times before. Well, maybe closer to a thousand at this point. It was the only thing he could really do.
Nothing was gonna make this easier after all.
“He will. We will,” Berlioz added. He glanced back at Ashlee, and that soft smile, somehow, got even softer. He still wasn’t going to cry– he couldn’t do that. But for a moment the sun caught his warm brown eyes and they shined a bit.
“We will miss you though,” he said honestly. “We’ll miss you a lot.”
SIMBA:
Between Ber’s comforting squeeze and his words, Simba’s eyes started tearing up again. He couldn’t help himself. He’d always been a crier. Ever since he was a little kid. He cried when he had to leave the turtles alone at the lake even though he desperately wanted to play with them, and he cried after eating a bowl full of fresh strawberries because they were just so good, and he cried when his dad tickled him, screeching with laughter. His mum used to say his emotions were bigger than any she’d ever known.
It was embarrassing, sometimes, but for the most part--Simba had always appreciated it. He couldn’t imagine being any other way.
He wasn’t embarrassed now. And, though he’d feel a little bit bad making Ashlee cry or think he was sad (well, he was sad, but he wasn’t all sad), he knew this was just…how he expressed himself when his heart felt too big for his chest.
“Yeah,” Simba said, voice cracking a bit. He cleared his throat. “But don’t worry about us. Just--go and be amazing. ‘Cause you will be. Just don’t forget us little guys when you’re a famous ballerina.”
Ashlee
“As if.” Ashlee stated very sternly, very seriously, she would never forget them, and just like that a couple tears were already starting to fall down but she was okay with it. Where once ago she would turn away or wipe them away so no one saw her cry she owned those tears.
This was going to be a hard goodbye- a hard see you later - despite it being for bigger and better things.
“You guys know you’re one of the best things that happened to me right? I’m super thankful for everything you did, for all the chances you took on me. Being the best guardian figures while being the best older brother vibes.” Ashlee mused looking at Berlioz for a moment. “And the best Dad I’ve have had.” Ashlee stated simply moving to look at Simba. Sure she didn’t say it often, in fact she may have said it less then a handful of times but if she had to call anyone her Dad it would be Simba. “I love you guys a lot. Okay? And you know me- I hate being sappy like this so take it or leave it. This is what you’re getting.” She sniffled slightly at it.
BERLIOZ:
Older brother. Honestly – the compliment meant more than he could say. He had always thought he was a shit older brother, really. He and Marie squabbled or struggled through awkward silences. He never really knew how to talk to her, and though things were getting better between them now, there were still so many times he felt like a stranger to her, like the both of them were roleplaying what it was like to be related. So he felt bad about that. Marie deserved better.
And when Jenny came into his life… well, same thing, really. He had been so bloody worried that he wouldn’t know how to talk to her and that he’d let her down. She hadn’t asked for him. He hadn’t asked for her. Maybe he was just kind of shitty at it?
But things had been better with Jenny. And there were probably loads of reasons for that, but one of them was definitely Ashlee, who had taught him more about being quiet, but present– supportive and understanding, even of each other’s differences.
So he was grateful to her too. So grateful he couldn’t put it to words, he really couldn’t.
“I’ll take it. Thanks,” he told her quietly. “Just know– you always got family with us.”
It wasn’t much, but he meant it with his whole heart.
SIMBA:When Simba and Berlioz had decided to adopt Ashlee, it hadn’t even been a choice, really. It had been the right thing to do. It had been the only thing to do. But that didn’t mean it hadn’t changed Simba too. With Kiara, she’d always been his in a way. They’d known each other nearly their whole lives. Kiara coming back into his life was like remembering a piece of his heart that had been lost between couch cushions, just waiting to be rediscovered.
Ashlee was different.
Ashlee was brand new. She taught Simba patience and how to be there for someone without knowing them first. And she’d taught him resilience. And even if she hadn’t taught him anything at all: he’d gotten to watch her bloom. That was the most amazing part.
The Ashlee that stood before him right now, on her way to London and her dreams, was an entirely different girl than the one who they’d taken home from the courthouse that day. She’d gained a voice and confidence. She stood taller. She laughed more.
That was the greatest gift. Her laugh and her smile--and her love.
Simba didn’t care if she ever called him dad. He was just happy that they’d found each other. That they’d all found each other.
Words, to him, weren’t enough to express this. Instead, he stepped forward and leaned down to wrap Ashlee up in a tight hug, tears spilling over as he squeezed his eyes shut.
“I’m so proud of you,” he told her, holding her close. “We love you too.”
Ashlee
A bell rang behind them, a single she needed to get on the train sooner than later even though for a moment she was tempted to just not. This is where she felt the happiest, the safest, despite all the challenges.
But she hadn’t been raised to hide from a challenge, and she knew Simba and Berlioz wanted this for her, Nemo wanted this for her.
She would excel, she would grow and she would have a great future, with a family cheering her on. Blood or not. This was her family.
Pulling them in for one more hug, Ashlee squeezed them as tightly as she could (Without hurting anyone).
With one final nod, one to say she got this, to say she knew they had her back, to say everything would be okay. Ashlee grabbed her last back and headed onto the train.
To bigger and better things and when she looked back, it was only with fond memories and smiles and a lot of love.
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A Final Pinky Promise {Tiny Dancers}
Ashlee says goodbye to Nemo.
@justkeepdancing-nemo
Date: A couple days after the showcase.
Ashlee
So this was it. Boxes were moved into a truck and the movers were heading out. Juniper was asleep in her carrier by the door. Her room felt empty, even with some of her items left, even with it being a place she could come back and call her room, it was still just a fraction of the life she had created in here.
It was empty, it was scary.
She was leaving everything she considered her safety net.
She was leaving the first place she ever felt safe, she was leaving one of the people that made her feel so safe.
And even though she didn’t want to think that far ahead she couldn’t help it.
She had to because this was it.
Staring at her room one more time Ashlee took a deep breath.
“I’m not sure I’m ready.”
NEMO:
Ashlee was leaving.
Ashlee was leaving.
No matter how many times Nemo had told himself this to prepare himself, it never really felt real. Not as long as he saw Ashlee around – going to Hatter’s for coffee and tea, or meeting up in the uni dance studios to mess around. It’d been a really good summer, honestly. It was a summer of dance. A summer of laughing. A summer of Nemo-and-Ashlee.
But today, Nemo had woken up to a chill in the air, the sign of coming autumn, and he knew that the summer was over. And Ashlee was leaving. Here he was, in her doorway, staring at her empty room and for the first time, he started to believe it.
Nemo felt his throat get a little tight, but he was determined to be wrong. That’s what he needed to do for Ashlee, yeah? As her partner, Ashlee was supposed to rely on him - to know that if she jumped, Nemo would catch her.
“Aw, I’m sure you are!” Nemo said with a bit of mock cheer. He grinned brightly, trying to make Ashlee grin too. “It’s gonna be amazing! Maybe a little scary at first, but just think. Soon you’ll have all kinds of cool shopping around, and like, ten different coffee shoppes to choose from. That’s nutty. In a good way!”
Ashlee
Ashlee did smile at him, but for once she didn’t need him to be her cheerleader. This was sad, and while it was going to lead to good things and she was proud of it, she was also sad she was leaving her dance partner behind.
Who knew what the future would hold for them? Would they get time to meet up and practice and make routines like they did before?
She hoped so.
“You’re going to be able to experience it too you know. Maybe not as often as we like but you’ve always got a place to stay and you can see all the ten different coffee shops in walking distance.” Ashlee mused nudging him once.
NEMO:
Ah, yeah. That was true– but also felt so unrealistic to Nemo. He knew that he was probably being silly, but London felt just as far as Paris to him. Or Seoul. Or anywhere else where his friends had gone off to, and then forgot him.
No, no, they didn’t forget him. But… it had never felt the same, after they had left.
Would things change with Ashlee too?
Yes. Yes, he knew that it would.
His smile softened a bit, and Nemo wasn’t able to hide some of the worry that crept in. “Ah yeah– yeah, I guess I’ll have to save up and come visit you sometime, huh?”
Ashlee
Ashlee moved to rest her head on his shoulder just for a moment, she would miss moments where she could do this. She wasn’t sure she would ever trust anyone the way that she trusted Nemo. “Exactly, and then I can show you all around the place and dance in some of their studios. It’ll be fun.”
But even she was having a hard time making that sound upbeat and joyous.
NEMO:
Yeah, it would be fun, if it happened. It was just that now Nemo was used to life happening. Everyone had to pick priorities and a lot of the time those priorities didn’t involve fucking around with friends, having sleepovers, going to parties– or even dancing just to dance, with no show to practice for.
He couldn’t resent Ashlee in case it happened with her too. If she got busy, if she made new friends, if she forgot him– as long as she was happy, that’s what mattered.
Or, that’s the kind of supportive friend that Nemo wanted to be.
So he smiled again, though Ashlee couldn’t see it since she was still leaning on his shoulder. “Yeah, that sounds awesome. And– you’ll be back here too, right? Maybe– for Christmas?”
Ashlee
“Yup, I’ll come back for holidays. Whichever ones I can make it.” She was too sure considering performances but she would make it work.
Holding out her hand she took Nemo’s in hers giving it a tight squeeze. “I’m not gonna disappear okay? This is my everything and my safe place. You’re my safe place and I’m not giving that up any time soon okay.”
NEMO:
Nemo was trying to be breezy. He was trying to be bright. He wanted to be a beautiful last memory for Ashlee– something she could look back on and smile about. He didn’t want to make her feel guilty or make her cry or anything like that–
But she knew him too well. And so of course her words made Nemo’s eyes fill with tears, and before he could stop it, they slipped down his cheeks.
It was just so, so hard to say goodbye.
“I–I know,” he said, voice wobbly. He sniffed. “Sorry, I– I just– you’re my safe place too. I– I dunno what I’m gonna do without you here.”
Ashlee
Ashlee’s bottom lip wobbled as Nemo’s voice wobbled, she didn’t know how she would do this, but she knew she had to. So she would power forward.
“You’re going to be Nemo, and you’re going to excel, One way or another.” Ashlee stated sternly. She believed it too. He deserved it, he had racked up so much good karma that she believed life has to work out for him.
“And I promise, I’m a call away, a text away if you ever need anything, if you ever wanna gossip, just hit me up, okay? I still wanna know everything.” Ashlee offered lifting her head and with her free hand wiping away any tears that wanted to fall.
NEMO:
Nemo wanted to argue. Just look at him so far – look at how much he struggled, how hard everything was when he didn’t have his friends to lean on. He didn’t know how to excel, not really. He only knew how to mess up. He needed Ashlee around to make sure he didn’t mess up.
But Nemo knew how selfish that was. He was almost twenty now, and he couldn’t lean on Ashlee, or use her ambition to push him ever forward. He had to reach down deep inside himself and find that drive for himself. He knew that he had it. That’s why he and Ashlee got along anyway– because as different as they seemed on the surface, deep down, they were the same. They were ambitious. And they loved to dance.
He just had to love dance without her.
Nemo swallowed again. “I–I will, I promise. Probably more than you want me to.” He sniffled again, another tear sliding down his cheek. He smiled though. “You’re gonna think I’m so annoying, I’m gonna text you so much.”
Ashlee
Ashlee shook her head, that’s what she wanted, what she needed. She needed to be able to stay connected to this town, to the people here. “You underestimate how much I want that. You’re going to get all the drama from my side too.” Ashlee stated simply before wrapping her arms around Nemo in a tight hug.
She didn’t want to say goodbye but they only had so much time left and she was going to make the best of it. “I love you, okay? Never forget that.”
NEMO:
Nemo put his arms around Ashlee and hugged her back. He shut his eyes, and pretended this wasn’t goodbye at all.
It was. It also wasn’t. Realistically– he’d probably see Ashlee sooner than he thought, right? He’d definitely talk to her sooner. He could almost imagine it. In a few hours, his phone would light up with pictures from her new flat. In a day or so, she’d send him a video of herself practicing, and ask him for tips. In a month, his phone would ring and ring and Ashlee would wish him happy birthday.
He’d miss her, but he’d also always be connected to her. There was something about the two of them that was– meant to be. Nemo couldn’t explain that, but he did believe it.
Nemo pulled back then, put his hands on Ashlee’s shoulders and smiled through his tears. “I love you too, Ashlee. Thanks for being the best dance partner I could ever have. Let’s– promise each other that we’re gonna dance together again someday, okay? Even if it’s just for fun.” He held up his pinky. “Cuz all I wanna do is dance with you.”
Ashlee
Ashlee blinked back tears but she nodded. That was an easy promise, something that Ashlee wanted with her whole heart. Nothing would stop her, after all both of them were stubborn and resilient as hell and if they wanted it. They would get it.
Holding up her pinky she locked it with his. A finale suited for both of them, with promises to the future.
“I promise- we’re going to dance together again someday.”
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"Until then rest okay. I would like you to not get hurt more before the showcase alright." Ashlee warned wagging a finger at the girl.
Maybe these friendships took a long time to build but hey, she got here and in the end that's all that mattered.
REST, Recovery... Running? {Eilonwy & Ashlee}
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Ashlee shook her head. "I haven't but I'll go look and find out. Rely on me yeah?" What a change where when they first met and Ashlee wouldn't even give her the time of day.
These days, well Ashlee thought she was the reliable type.
"I'll find out about whoever else was there too."
REST, Recovery... Running? {Eilonwy & Ashlee}
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So this place had as glowing reviews as she would get from the two of them. Well at least from Simba. She was sure he wanted it to be perfect for her but she wasn't sure what perfect would be. If they would stumble onto it.
"I think those things are important." Ashlee stated as she walked over to him and patted his arm gently.
"I think I'll make an offer and see what happens. Hopefully I'll be lucky enough."
@ber-bonfamille-lyons @simba-bonfamille-lyons
Window Shopping {Bonfamille-Lyons}
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"Well I can let you know Berlioz is out of surgery and will be fine. Simba, Lou and Marie are fine. Jenny is physically fine, which by the way thank you for helping her." Ashlee had barely talked to the other girl as she went through her own freak out with the demons and then finding out about her brother.
But Ashlee would give her leeway for that.
"I'll find out more about others for you as well though. Anyone else you rescued you want me to check in on?"
REST, Recovery... Running? {Eilonwy & Ashlee}
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Ashlee rolled her eyes again at the tongue out. But she nodded, she had to trust that. Eilonwy would know her body the best and who was Ashlee to tell her not to do something.
Especially when it benefited her.
"Well just let me know. Is there anything I can get you? I'm sure I'll be here and around for the next bit." She wasn't sure how long Ber would be here but she would be visiting him and by extension everyone else.
REST, Recovery... Running? {Eilonwy & Ashlee}
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Ashlee rolled her eyes at Eilonwy. "You're not going to be basically healed by then, You have broken ribs." Ashlee stated very sternly. But she didn't want to say no either.
She wanted everyone to perform.
"Look I don't want anyone getting more hurt, But if you can manage it then I believe in you."
REST, Recovery... Running? {Eilonwy & Ashlee}
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Well that was good. Though Ashlee knew she should give Eilonwy an out. Especially when she winced even while just saying that.
This whole thing was going to suck and really she was ready to curse out Swynlake for something like this happening before her planned event.
"You can sit out if you want. It's better that you don't get hurt more or anything." Ashlee hated every second of saying that though.
REST, Recovery... Running? {Eilonwy & Ashlee}
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