#But 1) this is a joke about the horrible recurring theme

[starlight-bread-blog]

"I've stalked you to protect you against your consent".

#To be fair #Felix isn't as nearly as bad as Edward Cullen. They're both god awful but let's actually compare cause it's fun. #Felix is actually speaking to her #Edward just orders her “Don't leave” – point for Felix. #And #after he's flat out told he's being a creep #he actually apologizes. #Bella never actually called him out in the scene #so we don't know how he'd react. #However #Half a point. Lastly #point for Edward – he showed up when he was actually needed. Felix just... kidnapped her. #And yeah #they're not comparable. Felix is a teenage sentimonster and Edward is a 109 vampire. #But 1) this is a joke about the horrible recurring theme #and 2) still HORRIFIC This is still shown as just a silly mistake. #The show is telling us “if he's a stalker that's not a deal breaker”. The parallel to the real world is unacceptable. #anti twilight #anti edward cullen #twilight critical #tw stalking #miraculous ladybug critical #anti miraculous #anti miraculous ladybug #anti felix #anti feligami #anti felix fathom

[bard-llama]

WiP Wednesday: The Seduction of the Innocent

Okay, firstly, this entire idea is really the brainchild of myself and steveelotaku and we’ve had fun coming up with stuff for it. The title is his suggestion - based on that crackpot book written about Batman and Robin being gay and corrupting the youth of America. It’s PERFECT for a fic that is all about Zuko writing a comic strip to help support his thesis as he goes to Ba Sing Se University lol

Premise: Zuko needs a hobby to keep himself occupied during the idle times of teaserving/vigilantism - and ends up writing. His new BFF Jin also suggests that he apply for Ba Sing Se University when his history of researching the Avatar and their cultures comes out. So Zuko ends up writing a thesis that studying ancient/declining cultures (Air Nomads and the Water Tribes) is worthwhile in the world today (bc the Water Tribes still exist and there’s 1 living Air Nomad). To help make his point/spread knowledge about the different cultures, he and Jin end up creating a comic series about The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar (and co). Through the hijinks of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar traveling around the world (remember, there’s no war in Ba Sing Se), they fight crime and evildoers and teach each other about their cultures.

So, right now I’m thinking this is actually 2 fics: a prequel and a sequel. The prequel will be all about establishing Zuko going to Uni and creating the comic and some of its effects (it’s REALLY popular with kids!). The sequel is when the Gaang (Zuko coined the name) finds out about the comics and read them - and then Aang, who KNOWS who the Blue Spirit is, goes looking for the author to confront them. He suspects it’s Zuko, but he doesn’t actually BELIEVE that it’s really Zuko. After all, how could ZUKO get into Ba Sing Se and why would he write comics explaining how the Air Nomads believed in peace?

(For those that dislike shipping in atla, the sequel will have some Zuko/Aang, but probably T-rated teens dating. Not wholly sure yet, but I think the whole series will be T)

So far, I have a few random scenes written, so I’ll share some snippets here, but also, I HAVE to tell you about what steveelotaku came up with for the comic!!!

The Comics

So like I said, the premise of the comics is: the adventures the Gaang + the Blue Spirit get up to, while fighting off their standard array of villains. (Credit for these goes to steveelotaku, who is incredible and came up with GREAT villains!)

The Big Bad: Fire Lord Ozai

But, I hear you say, there’s no war in Ba Sing Se! So how-? Well, the answer is - Zuko REALLY wanted to draw his dad receiving a pie to the face (look, he’s upset about the whole traitor thing and he needs an outlet) from Aang, so he invented a silly Silver Age Comics campy reason for why the Fire Lord hates the Avatar: the Avatar blew storm clouds over his parade and RUINED his hair! (Ozai hates getting wet 😂)

Other Recurring Villains:

Sparkler, the Princess of Pyromania: Fire-themed villain with a mysterious connection to the Blue Spirit and a grudge against them

The Koan: Basically Buddhist Riddler. "What is the sound of one hand picking your pocket?"  "If a building blows up, and no one is around to see it, did I commit a crime?"

The Cabbage Merchant of Death: Literally just the cabbage merchant, but breeding his cabbages to attack humanity as vengeance for overturning his cart. (The Cabbage Merchant actually loves the comics and his portrayal. Someone recognized his plight! So he taped one of the panels to his cart.)

The Tapestry: Literally a guy dressed in a tapestry who makes horrible weaving jokes and uses sharp threads. "Knit one, purl-oin two gold bars!"

The Ember Island Jester: The only actor to be fired from the Ember Island Players, because his jokes were terrible. His crimes are all theater-themed and he wears a comedy mask. "Four nations, all alike in dignity, all ripe for the plundering!" "It's curtains for you, Blue Spirit! -drops a heavy curtain on him-"

The Nightingale: Basically the Penguin, but with an army of robot nightingales, like in the old Chinese fable about the Emperor who forgot how a nightingale had brought him joy when a mechanical one is given to him, only for it to save him later. Only this time, the Nightingale is some minor noble who got fired and now keeps pestering Ozai with his robot nightingales and Ozai has to call for the Blue Spirit, much to his frustration. "The Nightingale sings the song of your doom!" Aang: "How does that go?" "Uh...doom! DOOM DOOM DOOM! DOOM doom DOOOOOM!"

Okay, so those are our Villains. Now what about our heroes? Remember, the Gaang is being written by Zuko - who may do lots and lots of research and maybe has stalked them on occasion, but still doesn’t really KNOW them.

The Blue Spirit - Zuko goes in hard on the tropes, so the Blue Spirit is totally the broody badboy. He has a secret identity that no one knows. Also, he tells tea jokes and makes tea puns. Iroh is very proud.

Aang, The Avatar - Aang is the epitome of “peace, love, and happiness make the world go round” (real Aang finds this hilarious) but he’s also an incurable prankster

Toph, The Avatar’s Earthbending Teacher - Toph is the buffest, littlest character there is and it is unclear whether she beats villains with her bending or her fists or if the two are one and the same.

Katara, The Avatar’s Waterbending Teacher - Katara is the scariest motherfucker on the team and Zuko stands by that. She has some of the corny “hope” lines, complementing Aang, but mostly, it’s her determination that makes her scary. When she decides something, it happens. (Zuko might be projecting a bit, but he’s not wrong.)

Sokka, The Avatar’s Jester/Strategist - Sokka is the straight forward comic relief and is a walking joke, but he does tend to suggest the plans that work... they’re just very, very ridiculous, in line with Silver Age comics ridiculousness.

And some choice lines by steveelotaku:

"Holy cumulus, Blue Spirit! The Fire Nation's set fire to the tea tree grove!" "The fiends! It's not enough for them to boil it too long--now they're roasting it to ashes!" "Halt, Blue Spirit! Your pathetic crusade of justice stops here!" "It's that suspicious sous-chef of sabotage, Serial Griller! Fire Lord Ozai's right hand cook!" "That's right, Blue Blunder! And today's special is deep fried masked man with a side of Avatar fries!"

"Blue Spirit! Help!" "By the subtle tang of oolong tea! Avatar, you're turning into a were-bison!" Not a trick! Not an imaginary story! The Avatar's best friend might just be his doom! Can Aang and the Blue Spirit survive...THE NIGHT OF THE APPA-LLING WERE-BISON?!

AND NOW, THE SECRET ORIGIN OF THE BLUE SPIRIT: A nameless warrior stands on the battlefield in the pouring rain. Another village massacred, the survivors left for dead. He alone had dared to speak against this heinous crime, and for that he was cast out from the only family he had. Hiding within a teahouse, he took with him the one souvenir of that battle he dared to claim--the mask of the Blue Spirit, a warrior who had fought for justice against his cruel oppressors. Now, the warrior takes the mantle for himself--to find redemption, or die trying!

Snippets:

The Beginning

Zuko needed a hobby, was the thing. He was really, really busy in Ba Sing Se, between being a tea server and being the Blue Spirit. But there was a lot of idle time in both roles and Zuko just needed something to keep him occupied. It wasn’t supposed to turn into a big thing.

Only one day, Jin had caught him writing at the teashop and demanded to read it and… look. It was just a lark. It was just a funny little idea that he was toying with. It didn’t mean anything.

It was in the afternoon lull and Uncle was, fortunately, in the backroom, doing tea things. Meanwhile, Zuko’s only other customer was an old accountant who was always buried in their books and never registered anything going on around them. They liked Pao’s strongest tea.

This meant that there was no one else around to see the look on Jin’s face when she read through his scrawled handwriting – he was much better at writing with a calligraphy brush, but these days, charcoal was as good as it got – depicting a silly dialogue exchange between the Blue Spirt and the Avatar. It was just one of the questions he’d always wanted to ask the Avatar, one that wasn’t really important, but that had bothered him until he’d researched it anyway.

“Li,” she said slowly.

Zuko gulped. “Yeah?”

“This… this is good,” she said with a tone of wonder. “Seriously, I really like this!”

“You… do?” Zuko blinked, not sure what to do with that. “But it’s – it’s–”

“Funny? Enjoyable? Cute?”

“Dumb.”

“Bullshit,” Jin said bluntly. “You’re allowed to enjoy dumb things, Li. As long as it’s fun, what else matters?”

Zuko frowned. That was not a philosophy about life that he was familiar with.

“Do you think the Avatar really throws pies in people’s faces?” Jin asked with a laugh.

“Oh, that bit I can confirm,” Zuko flashed a brief grin. “I found a letter from the King of Omashu to the Southern Air Temple that very specifically said Aang and his friends had pie’d the King’s Guard.”

Jin blinked. “What do you mean, you found a letter?”

“Oh,” Zuko bit his lip, realizing he really shouldn’t have said that. “I, um. I… studied the Avatar. For a long time. And the Air Nomads and the Water Tribes, a little bit.”

“Really?” Jin looked excited, of all things. “That’s so cool! So you were a mini scholar before tragedy struck, huh? Are you gonna try to apply for Ba Sing Se University? You should!”

“I… what?”

“It’s not often someone from the Lower Ring gets accepted,” Jin said, “but it does happen! And I know you’d study really hard and there are scholarships and things to help pay for it. You should try!”

“I’ll… think about it?” Zuko said, taken entirely off guard.

“You should write more, too,” Jin encouraged. “Honestly, it’s a really fun scene. I kinda wanna draw it.”

Jin’s family ran what was probably one of the best places in town to get writing and illustration done on a budget. This meant that Jin spent a lot of time drawing what she called ‘very boring adverts’. He wouldn’t think his scene was that interesting either, but Jin’s face was genuine and she smiled at him.

“Really?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Jin grinned, “just the visual of the Fire Lord getting a pie in the face–” she broke down laughing.

Zuko flushed. It was possible he was a bit upset with his father for marking him as a traitor and sending his sister to bring him home in chains. And it wasn’t like a little pie had ever hurt anyone…

During Zuko’s Tour of Ba Sing Se University (from the POV of the admissions tour guide)

“As part of your curriculum. You don’t study other cultures, like the Water Tribes and the Air Nomads?”

There was a loud scoff from behind Min and she turned to see Professor Lang sneering down his nose at the kid. 

“Of course not,” he said. “What use is there in studying ancient civilizations?”

The kid looked confused for a brief moment… and then he got mad, and wow, he was actually kind of scary underneath that scruffy unkemptness. 

“The Water Tribes aren’t dead! And even if the Air Nomads are, there’s still reason to learn about them!”

“And what, pray tell, would that be?”

The kid had a pretty impressive snarl. “The Earth Kingdom has trade contracts relating to the Water Tribes, who are still alive. And there’s one living Air Nomad now, too!”

Min blinked. What did that mean?

“Pah,” Professor Lang spat. “The Avatar is not part of any culture.”

The what? 

“The Avatar isn’t told until they turn sixteen. Until that age, Avatar Aang was and still is an Air Nomad.”

What!?

“The… Avatar?” Min said vaguely. How had she not heard about this? “The Avatar is back? And they’re an Air Nomad!?”

The kid looked scared for a moment. Perhaps he could sense how closely they danced to the dangerous territory of current events. 

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “We, um. We heard before coming to Ba Sing Se that the Avatar is back. And – and he’s an Air Nomad. So there’s relevance in understanding the Air Nomad culture! Because, like…” he visibly flailed for an example that would be acceptable, “like family!” He held up his finger triumphantly. “Culture affects what words mean. In the Earth Kingdom, family is defined as your clan, tied to you through blood, marriage, or contract. In the Water Tribes, the whole tribe is family and everything is done in service to that family. But to the Air Nomads? They defined family as people chosen based on who you wanted in your life. They did not recognize blood ties.”

Min and Professor Lang both stared at the kid. 

“How – how do you know that?” Professor Lang asked eventually.

The kid froze. “I, um. I did a lot of research on – on the Avatar and, and their cultures. I’m not making it up! One of their core tenets was that the blood of the covenant was thicker than water of the womb, meaning those who share their vows are more kin than those who share their blood. They were more concerned with spirituality and behavior.” The kid sighed heavily. “I wish my old library hadn’t burned. I had some amazing finds.”

Min’s eyebrow arched. That almost made it sound like, despite the current state of things, this kid had some noble background. Well, well. That changed things.

She clapped her hands together. “This sounds like an excellent topic for a thesis, don’t you agree, Professor Lang?”

“A – what?”

“A thesis, of course. You have an argument to make – that ancient/declining cultures still have a role in our society. Through your course of study here at Ba Sing Se, you will learn how to draft an effective argument, backed by primary sources.”

“I had primary sources!” the kid said, sounding strangely offended.

“Of course,” Min allowed.

“You want this disrespectful brat to write a thesis on such an absurd topic!?” Professor Lang burst out.

“He argued his point well, did he not?” Min shrugged, smiling pleasantly. 

“I have another one,” the kid – Li, according to her file – said. “The Air Nomads were pacifists. They didn’t believe in consuming the flesh of any creature, because in their view, violence was abhorrent in any form. So think about it… the – the Avatar’s job is to bring peace and balance to the world, right?”

Min took a sharp breath. That was coming a little too close to–

“Well, Air Nomads were very devoted to peace. They have eighty-seven words for peace, all of which mean different things. Some of which, if applied to the nations by the Avatar, would face significant dissent. So in dealing with the Avatar, it’s important to know that you need to clarify the meaning of things being discussed.”

“And you expect to be ‘dealing with the Avatar’, do you?” Professor Lang sneered.

Li opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Of course not,” he said, “but that’s precisely why the study of these cultures is so significant! Because if it’s not widespread knowledge, then we’re all at a disadvantage.”

Min clapped, “well said. What is knowledge but a tool for the betterment of ourselves?”

“...right,” Li nodded hesitantly.

(For those curious, Professor Lang knows about Aang because the Gaang and Joo Dee went by the university when they first came to Ba Sing Se - but the visit was kept moderately hush hush, because talking about the Avatar can mean talking about the war. This changes when the comic takes off.)

From the next scene

Jin was pacing in Pao’s Teashop as they all waited excitedly to hear the results of Li’s visit to the university. Mushi was channeling his anxiety into making lots of tea, so Jin was spending far more than she should on new pots, but at least sipping tea gave her something to do.

Finally, Li opened the door – and jerked back as everyone in the teashop – four of the afternoon regulars and Jin, plus one couple that had no idea what was going on – rounded on him.

“Well? How did it go?”

“Uh.” Li scratched his head. “I think I’m a student now?”

Jin blinked. “I thought you were just going to apply?”

“So did I,” Li shrugged. “And then I got into an argument with a professor during the tour–”

Everyone groaned collectively.

“Oh, Nephew,” Mushi sighed, coming out from behind the counter and ushering Li into the room.

“Of course you did,” Jin laughed.

“But it was fine,” Li huffed. “In fact, I think it actually helped me? I guess I’m writing a thesis on the Avatar and also why studying other cultures matters?”

“You’re… what?” Mushi said blankly.

Li shrugged helplessly. “It just kinda happened.”

Now we skip waaaaaaay ahead to the sequel, to when the Gaang (well, Aang specifically) finds out about The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar

It started with an innocently overheard conversation at a bakery near their Upper Ring house while waiting for the new pies to cool.

“Did you read it?” one girl hissed to another. “Did you see!?”

“Yes!” the second girl sounded so excited that it was hard to control her volume. “I told you! It’s real! Spiritar is canon!”

“I just can’t believe it,” the only boy amongst the group murmured. “I didn’t see it coming at all.”

“That’s because you never listen to us,” the first girl sniffed. “I called the Blue Spirit x Avatar Aang coming from miles away.”

The… what?

Aang blinked, turning to stare at them. “I’m sorry, did you say Avatar?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, who’s asking – oh sweet spirits, it’s the Avatar!” the boy looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

“Um. Hi,” Aang waved awkwardly.

The two girls squeaked and flushed red. “Hi,” they managed, one more easily than the other.

“Did you say something about – about the Blue Spirit and the Avatar?”

“Oh spirits,” the second girl whispered under her breath. “Oma and Shu, why would you do this to us?”

“Um?”

“Okay, so,” the first girl cleared her throat. “Um, let’s start at the beginning. Are you familiar with The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar?”

“The… huh?” Aang’s mouth twisted in confusion. Who was the Blue Spirit and what did they have to do with him?

There was a cleared throat from next to them and another woman in the bakery stood behind them. “Hi, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear and – I have a binder just for this purpose.” She pulled out a thick binder full of papers and thudded it down on the table. Then she opened it to a page that had two figures cut out from an inked illustration. One was obviously Aang, though his arrows weren’t quite that big – but the other… the other was–

“The Blue Spirit, you called them?” Aang asked, staring at the mask that he remembered with stark distinction. If the stranger in the mask hadn’t saved him…

But then, of course, the stranger turned out to not be so strange after all. Aang could still feel the rough bark under his fingers as he played with it, waiting for Zuko to wake up.

If we knew each other then, do you think we could’ve been friends? he’d asked, and Zuko hadn’t actually answered, but the blast of fire spoke many words.

“You don’t know them?” the girls all looked up at him with a broken sort of hope.

“I – I do,” Aang answered hesitantly. “But I never got their name.”

“Yes!” two of them high fived and Aang just stared at them. “Uh, sorry.”

“Anyway,” the girl with the binder said, “The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar, originally simply titled the Blue Spirit, is a serial comic created by Li and Jin. They’re two artists in the Lower Ring, if you can believe that. But Li attends Ba Sing Se University!”

“Uh. Okay?”

She cleared her throat, flushing. “Um, at any rate, the comics are aimed at children and Li has been recorded as saying that he wanted to explain cultural differences through a fun story. And they deliver! The characters are great, the dialogue is snappy, the illustration is beautiful, and the plots are silly but fun.”

“Nothing will ever top the Fire Lord getting pie’d in the face, though,” the first girl said nostalgically.

“What?” Aang asked.

“Oh, I have that in my binder!” The girl flipped through several pages and landed on a comic panel pasted onto the paper. It depicted – exactly what they said. Fire Lord Ozai – who Aang had never actually seen in person, but he had seen a few paintings and it looked pretty accurate – receiving a cream pie to the face. Actually, the pie was drawn pretty well, too – it even had the lemon curd filling that Aang and Master Gyatso used to add for extra gooeyness.

That was surely just a coincidence, though. Right? It wasn’t like the Blue Spirit could really be–

“It’s a really famous picture now,” the girl with the binder whispered to Aang. “It’s the only thing like it that hasn’t been censored by the Dai Li. See, in The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar, the Fire Lord has a legitimate reason to hate the Avatar.”

…was stopping him from destroying the world not legitimate?

“Oh?”

“Oh, I love this one. Show him the comic strip!”

“Here it is!”

Aang looked down to see a single panel of Fire Lord Ozai, this time wailing, “my hair!”

“Uh…”

“The Avatar was flying a kite,” one girl explained, “and he was messing with the wind currents – but it made storm clouds fall on the Fire Lord’s parade and ruined his hair!” They all chortled. “Literally you rained on his parade!”

Aang… did not know how to react to that.

“So anyway, the Avatar and his friends join the Blue Spirit and fight crime and evildoers!”

“Yeah, the Blue Spirit is a vigilante, you know that, of course,” one girl said and actually, Aang had not known that. “So they team up with the Avatar and with the whole Gaang–”

“Pardon?”

“Oh yeah, isn’t it great? It’s ‘gang’ but with 2 ‘a’s, like your name! To encompass all of you together!”

Aang hummed. He did like it, actually. Sokka would be upset that he hadn’t come up with it.

Especially if the person who did come up with it was really–

But surely it couldn’t be. How would Zuko have even gotten into Ba Sing Se?

From the confrontation between Aang and Zuko after Aang tracks down the creators of the comics (with some shippiness)

“Soooo,” Jin drawled, sprawling in a booth in the otherwise empty teashop, “guess what happened today?”

Zuko, busy wiping down a table, didn’t answer.

“C’mon, guess! It’ll interest you, I promise.”

“I dunno. You… had an idea for a comic?”

“That happens every day, Li,” she said flatly.

Zuko sighed. “Just tell me.”

“Fine, fine,” Jin paused, making him wait, and then she burst out, “the Avatar came by the shop!”

Zuko froze, blood draining from his face. The Avatar. The Avatar was here. The Avatar was here and knew about the comics, elsewise why would he have gone to Jin’s family’s shop?

Oh, this couldn’t be good.

“Li? You okay?”

Before Zuko could answer – negatively – the door to the teashop opened and the Avatar walked inside.

Zuko wanted to die. This was it. This was the end of him. This was when his cover would get blown and everyone would know and hate him and–

“Hi,” Aang greeted them pleasantly. “I’m looking for Li.”

Zuko just about swallowed his tongue. There was no way that Aang had failed to recognize him. The change in hairstyle did not make up for the huge disfiguring scar.

Raising a shaking hand, Zuko managed a strangled, “I’m Li.”

The Avatar smiled. What even–?

“I thought it might be you,” Aang said. “But I also kind of thought I was probably wrong.”

Not having any idea what to say, all Zuko could do was swallow drily.

“Huh,” Jin said, “you really have met the Avatar.”

Zuko flushed. “I told you!”

“You say lots of things, though,” Jin contested. Usually, Zuko was grateful that she let his slip ups go so easily, but right now, he was just annoyed.

“I don’t lie,” he frowned. That was a rule for him. His whole identity may be a lie, but at least he would do his best to live honorably.

Aang coughed and Zuko flushed brighter, jerking his attention back to the man who, technically, was still his enemy.

“Sorry,” Jin laughed, holding out her hand, “hi, I’m Jin. I hear you went by my family’s shop earlier looking for us?”

“You’re the illustrator?” Aang asked.

“Yep, that’s me!” Jin beamed, showing off her chipped teeth.

“Wow. You do a really good job of showing different places,” Aang complimented and Zuko stared. What was even happening?

“Oh, that’s all thanks to Li,” Jin demurred. “Sometimes I dunno whether his descriptions are accurate or not, but he believes in them so much that it just seems right to go with it.”

Zuko groaned, slapping a hand to his face. “Jin…”

Aang smiled wider and it made Zuko’s heart pound, cheeks turning pinker. “Well, you both create very good comics,” Aang said casually, as though Zuko wasn’t close to expiring on the spot.

“You – you read them?” Zuko croaked.

“Of course,” Aang said. “We had to see what was being written about us!”

Oh. Great. So all of Aang’s friends had read them. Fuck.

Oh Agni, did that include the most recent issue? Maybe he was lucky for once in his life and it didn’t–

Aang pulled out a comic and the cover was quite familiar. Jin had drawn the Blue Spirit in the middle in a ridiculous pose that really emphasized his butt – even moreso than the original draft, because Jin was an asshole and made the change after he complained. Behind the Blue Spirit were various headshots of the Gaang – Zuko came up with the name and he was rather proud of it – with little hearts all around them.

The cover proclaimed, ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IS THE BLUE SPIRIT'S SOULMATE – BUT WHO!? and the story was all about one of the regular villains, Sparkler – who totally wasn’t Azula – trying to find the Blue Spirit’s lover to blackmail him. After she was defeated, the true lover was revealed… with a kiss, because of course it was.

Zuko felt like he might cry at the absurdity of this being how his life falls apart (again).

“Sooooo, um…” Aang started and Zuko could not look at him.

“In my defense,” Zuko started, his mouth absolutely disconnecting from his brain, “it was a reader request.”

Aang tilted his head. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, you don’t read the letters at the end of the issue?” Jin asked, “you really should, they’re quite fun. We answer questions and requests from readers – mostly kids, but sometimes their parents, too.”

“And a kid… asked about–?”

Zuko just nodded mutely, but Jin – the traitor! – explained, “they asked about who the Blue Spirit’s soulmate would be. And obviously – ow!” Zuko elbowed her hard in the side, but it was too late. Aang’s eyebrows were high.

“‘Obviously’?”

“I mean, have you read the flirting?” Jin asked. “Li writes fantastic banter, doesn’t he?”

“Fucking hell, Jin, shut up!” Zuko hissed, and he was sure that his face was hot enough to be steaming. Hopefully Jin wouldn’t question it.

“Oh, all right, all right, I’ll let you two talk alone. But don’t forget the afternoon rush will be soon!”

So saying, Jin sidled out the door, headed back to work. The Avatar opened his mouth as soon as she was gone and Zuko quite abruptly wanted her back. He scrambled around for a change of topic and grasped the teapot next to him.

“Tea! Would – would you like some tea? We have–”

“I liked the tea jokes in the comics,” Aang said calmly. How was he calm when Zuko was about to shake out of his skin?

The pottery clattered slightly from his trembling hands, but he served Aang a cup of jasmine tea. “Those mostly came from Uncle,” he murmured.

“Well, they were fun,” Aang said, taking the cup and immediately sipping it as though it hadn’t been poured by his enemy. Then he smiled. “Jasmine. I like jasmine. It was my mentor’s favorite.”

“I know,” Zuko said without thinking.

“You… know?” Aang blinked. “How?”

“Uh.” Oh Agni, how was he supposed to explain this. “One of the Elders at your temple kept a journal. It survived.”

Aang stared. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Zuko nodded. “Monk Tashi. He complained about how often you got into trouble and how Monk Gyatso only encouraged it.”

Aang inhaled sharply, breath hitching at Gyatso’s name. Zuko could only imagine how much the loss hurt him. If Zuko ever lost Uncle…

Okay, that’s all I got, but I’m very excited for this series, so I hope you enjoy!

#atla #zuko x aang #zuko & jin are BFFs #wip wednesday #fic planning #seduction of the innocent

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 2, episode 5: Blueberries Taste Best

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e5: Keep Hope Alive. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

The episode simply starts with this:

And I agree!

Josie takes care of the opening monologue this episode. She lets us know that she’s just as depressed and lonely as Till! She also makes the episode’s first reference to prayer, which is a recurring theme. While she monologues, Josie is lifted from a vat of a thick liquid. Either the Headwoods have rapidly made a lot more Goop, or we finally know what happened to the barrel of lube from episode one!

There’s a montage of frostbite treatments, Icy Bob undergoing more horrible cold training, and espionage. We see Josie write messages, then send them via Emilia, border workers, Pike and Winnie all the way up to Layton in First. Terrence-Never-Terry watches Winnie’s journey with suspicion. Layton reveals that Josie’s most recent message says “COLDMAN PREPARING. WILFORD MAKING A MOVE”

The opening credits music is back to normal, and hold up - is Wilford lying on a fucking COFFIN infront of the cockpit? Is it just unusual furniture? I think it’s a coffin! He’s listening to one of his Miss Audrey records, and playing it to all the passengers. Alex and Emilia discuss the fact that Wilford is pining for Audrey while they prepare for Big Alice Book Club. This month, the book club are making use of the copy of Rebecca that was on Wilford’s shopping list in episode one.

In the Nightcar, Zarah catches up with Audrey. Zarah gently touches Audrey’s shoulder and says that Audrey saved her. Audrey replies “You knew how to save yourself.” The Audrey/Zarah shippers spontaneously combust. Audrey then insists:

Rewatching scenes like one this hurts.

Back on Big Alice, Wilford is greeting the Big Alice Book Club members by name (“Dr. Headwood, Dr. Headwood” is a solid dad joke and I appreciate it). He dismisses Sykes and I briefly get my hopes up that someone might attack him, but no such luck! They just talk about the book, as a thinly-veiled way to talk about Wilford and Audrey’s relationship. It’s not long before Sykes returns to inform Wilford that their “friend uptrain” lit a lantern, and Wilford asks Sykes to send an invitation to Audrey. They have phones now! Why are they still using so many communiqués!?

Anyway, Ruth delivers the invitation.

The enchanting Miss Audrey is hereby cordially invited to dine together with me, as we pass the Forbidden City in Lhasa. A place rich in memory and steeped with loyalty…

Ruth is incredibly jealous of Audrey, but tries to hide it.

Audrey discusses the invitation with Layton, Bennett and Javi in the engine. Javi’s worried that Audrey won’t be allowed to leave, but Audrey is confident that Wilford wouldn’t keep anyone against their will. She insists that she can do the mission. The engine bros talk Audrey through the plan: Audrey needs to sabotage Wilford’s comms box so that Snowpiercer can listen in to everything he says in the Big Alice engine. Sounds easy!

In the next scene, the Headwoods are treating Josie and squabbling over who gets to PULL JOSIE’S SKIN OFF. She’s right fucking there, guys! Josie nervously asks if her injuries will heal, but Sykes interrupts the doctors before they can answer her question. In the background, Sykes tells the doctors that “It’s happening tonight,” and Mrs. Dr. Headwood argues back, “That wasn’t what we agreed on!” Meanwhile, Josie plunges into a panic attack. Luckily, Icy Bob is an expert in those!

This show is secretly a comedy, right?

When she’s slightly calmer, Josie asks Bob what’s happening tonight. Bob doesn’t answer, but he warns Josie “They’re not people you want to cross,” and it seems like he’s talking about the Headwoods? Interesting! When they return, the doctors tell Josie that they’ll need to anaesthetise her for the debridement on her shoulder. The shot lingers on Josie for long enough that we know she’s planning something.

In the Layton-Ferami First Class Living/Meeting Room, Javi is updating Layton, Ruth, Roche and Zarah on the balloons. Till and her detective coat arrive late, to remind us that she’s struggling with her mental health right now. Layton wants to know which train cars are vulnerable to outside attack, because there are “indications” that Wilford’s coldman is up to something. Till demonstrates her new detective skills, and asks her big brother two very valid questions: what indications, and why is he still trading at the border if they’re worried about an attack? Layton ignores her and continues asking for more information about potential weak points, while Ruth eyes him suspiciously.

Layton then dismisses everyone but the cops, and tells his dad and sister everything: Josie is spying on Big Alice and sending messages via the trade. After quickly checking Josie is okay, Till and her detective coat turn the cop conversation to the Wilfordite problems on Snowpiercer. She also updates us on the timeline: it’s been two weeks since Lights was attacked (the day before episode 2). Till is very frustrated that she doesn’t have a suspect yet, and her big brother and her dad finally do something to help her our a bit: they tell her to take the rest of the day off.

Down the corridor, Ruth is ranting to Zarah about feeling left out at the meeting. She’s worried for Audrey, too. Ruth wasn’t born yesterday! Zarah agrees, “No ma’am”, and lesbian fanfic writers everywhere snap to a confused attention. In the non-torturey Hospitality room, Ruth is pleased to inform Tristan that he is fired from the address service. He thanks God, to add another religious reference to the episode. Ruth gives the address job to Zarah. Zarah accepts the job, heads on into the booth, sits down at the mic, then immediately vomits.

Because Snowpiercer is secretly a comedy, Zarah accidentally presses the on button. Luckily, she spent seven long years working on her Melanie impression for the Nightcar open mic night, so she absolutely smashes the announcement. Ruth is very impressed.

Next, the show completely gives up on the secret part of secret comedy! Because I Got High plays over some shots of Pike’s weed shenanigans - until LJ knocks him out with a pipe and literally squeals with excitement. Osweiller smiles at her, proudly. This fucking show! LJ and Osweiller then take the unconscious Pike to Terrence-Never-Terry, who wakes him up and threatens to kill him for selling weed in Third.

Pike returns to the Tail to get his head wound fixed by… Layton? Layton definitely has more important things to be doing, and there are probably far more qualified medics around, but… Sure? Layton uses a fucking staple gun to close the wound while they talk about the weed trade - without it, they can’t feed the tail or make friends on Big Alice. Pike tells Layton that it’s not LJ or Osweiller that are getting in the way of his weed dealing: it’s Terrence-Never-Terry.

In Big Alice’s engine, Wilford is deciding what to wear for his date and listening to a Miss Audrey/Lena Hall cover of Street Spirit.

The song plays throughout the scene, and once again the lyrics are painfully pertinent:

This machine will not communicate/these thoughts and the strain I am under

I can feel death, can see its beady eyes

All these things we’ll one day swallow whole

Fade out again

Immerse your soul in love

FUCK!

Alex wants to know more about Wilford and Sykes’ plan, but he won’t tell her. Instead, he asks for Alex’s opinion on his outfit - “A young woman should have a firm aesthetic opinion!” Alex calls him sexist. She’s right and she should say it! And then, Alex says this accidentally gay thing:

If we ignore how fucked up Wilford and Audrey’s relationship is, and also ignore how fucked up LJ is, it’s kinda cute!

Meanwhile, Miss Audrey walks through the tail alone (Layton? Zarah? Anyone? Where are you!?). Sykes greets Audrey at the border and takes her through to Big Alice. In the engine, Alex and Wilford continue to discuss Audrey’s visit. How does Audrey help them take Snowpiercer? Wilford tells Alex to watch the mystery unfold. He has a secret plan, and I hate it.

On Snowpiercer, Layton bypasses Train Psycho and Brakeman Blowie to pay a visit to Terrence-Never-Terry in the head office of the mopping mafia. (Sidenote: why is that a real sentence that I just wrote?) They discuss the weed trade, and Layton threatens Terrence-Never-Terry with a partly-falsified police file: if Terrence-Never-Terry doesn’t allow Layton and his friends to deal weed, then Layton will lock him up. But Terrence-Never-Terry isn’t too shaken, and fires back his own threat: he’s noticed that Winnie goes on a ten mile run every time weed comes through. What Wilford would do to a spy? Uh oh.

When he’s finished threatening, Layton heads to the clinic to accompany Zarah for another baby scan. For anyone still tracking the timeline, Zarah was “5w5d” pregnant before the war, making her at least 8 weeks pregnant now. Zarah is shocked to learn that Josie is spying, and Layton adds that Terrence-Never-Terry is using the knowledge to threaten him. They stop talking when Dr. Pelton arrives to do the scan. All is good - the child is apparently roughly the size of a blueberry.

Zarah and Layton then celebrate listening to their baby’s heartbeat together for the first time by… planning an assassination. Zarah (who, as far as we know, is one of the few characters that hasn’t yet killed someone) tells Layton to tell someone to kill Terrence-Never-Terry. I like this ruthless, removed vibe for her!

On Big Alice, Sykes shows Miss Audrey to the engine then leaves her alone with Alex. Ha! I see you, Sykes, pranking them both! Alex instantly hates her new stepmom, and Audrey is not great with teenagers. Audrey tries to tell Alex that she and Melanie are friends which… I’m not convinced that we saw much evidence of that? But okay! Alex points out that Wilford and Melanie are enemies, so what does that make Audrey? Neutral, darling.

Not to get too sad, but do we think Audrey has ever been in love? Did Wilford ruin that for her, too?

Wilford enters the room, creepily charms Audrey by calling their relationship an “abyss” (yikes!), and they descend into a strange flirting ritual. Alex realises it’s been a little while since she stormed off anywhere, so she flips the autopilot switch and stomps out of the engine. I would like to do the same.

On Snowpiercer, the engine bros are stressed. Melanie has missed today’s uplink. Something must be wrong, and they’re going to have to tell the others.

Meanwhile, in First, the Primary school children are showing off a lovely mural that they’ve created about their hope for the future. It's not the most flattering or accurate portrait I’ve ever seen, but the sentiment is cute. The children call out, “thank you, Melanie” and “we love you, Melanie!” and not all of the Firsties are impressed. Ruth overhears Eugenia complaining about, “More reputation rehabilitation for Melanie Cavill.” So, in true British fashion, Ruth handles the situation by being as passive-aggressive as possible: she announces that she’ll hang the mural for everyone to see, while shooting Eugenia a very smug look.

Next, Ruth, Zarah, Layton and Roche convene in the engine to hear the bad news: Melanie still hasn’t made contact. She might be dead. Ruth tries to comfort Bennett - she can feel that Melanie is alive! The others don’t really acknowledge Ruth’s comments, and yeah, I wouldn’t trust that kind of hippie bullshit either.

The train is due to begin returning for Melanie tomorrow, so they all agree that Wilford can’t be told about the issue. They don’t want to upset Snowpiercer’s passengers, either, so they’re going to tell them a lie, for hope.

Down in the market, Till and her detective coat are using their day off to get drunk with Osweiller. Neither of them like the state of things right now, and Osweiller misses his big sister (aww). She asks him for info on the case, but he hasn’t heard anything solid. When Osweiller leaves, the bartender hands Till a drink from Boki and the breach workers. Boki and some of his friends head over, and tease Till with a toast to their great engineer.

Till is just the right amount of drunk, depressed and pissed off to do something reckless. She gets Boki’s attention, echoes the toast, then pours the drink on the floor. Before Till gets her ass handed to her by five breachworkers, Pastor Logan intervenes. He warns her that she’s going to cause trouble, and she replies, “Yeah, I’m hoping!” The cops are being such bastards this episode!

Logan, Till and her detective coat head to the Pastor’s Boxing Gym for Converting Depressed Lesbians. The coat comes off, and they begin to spar. Till starts out cocky, but Logan throws her off her game with some emotional punches. Then, when she’s distracted, the Pastor continues to spout harsh truths while repeatedly hitting her in the face. No, really - that happens!

Genuine screenshots and dialogue!!

Pastor Logan proceeds to hit Till to the floor and take another three swings at her head while telling her “You can’t get to joy, to relief, without hurting. Sometimes yourself, sometimes others.” This dude is MEAN!

When the pastor finally finishes his speech, Till seems to come back to herself. She launches herself off the floor and smacks him into the wall with a few strong hits, then carries on using him as a human punching bag for a while until they both smile at each other with bloody lips. No! Don’t make friends! This is how they get you, Till! Don’t join the cult!

Uptrain, Zarah and Ruth are doing some Hospitality Stuff in Ruth and Melanie’s old flirting ground. Ruth is thinking about Melanie, and teaching Zarah the new job is making her feel nostalgic. Then, the scene rapidly gets very emotional!

Ruth tells Zarah that she’s not naive - she knows that leaders lie. She admits that she’s done things she’s ashamed of, in Hospitality. Ruth is already close to tears by the time Zarah assures her that lying about Melanie for the sake of the train isn’t something to be ashamed of. Zarah then adds that Ruth is a leader, and that her choices make a difference. Ruth flicks through about fifty different types of sadness as she replies that she really hopes they do. Ruth, Till, Audrey and Josie are all having such a rough time this episode, and so am I!

After that, we get a really nice shot of outside:

It’s sad, but it’s pretty!

In the Big Alice cockpit, Wilford and Audrey are reminiscing about the last time they were in Lhasa together. Audrey flatters Wilford for a bit, and he flatters her back, and she asks him to get her a drink to extend their date. When he’s gone, she slips a screwdriver from her skirt, and in the first shot it looks like she’s tightening the screw? In the next shot she’s loosening it, but it takes too long and she has to give up before Wilford returns.

As Audrey and Wilford begin to drink, Bennett interrupts over the comms with the lie that the uplink was successful. Wilford berates Ben a bit, then hangs up to get back to his date. Audrey wanders off in search of dessert (relatable), and Wilford notices the comms box screw is loose. Uh oh.

In the Layton-Ferami First Class Living/Meeting Room, we’re getting a bit of Pike backstory: he was in the cannibal cult, and the tailies wanted to hang him. But Layton saved him. After that, Pike vowed to be a better man, and to never kill again (outside of combat). Layton insists that Terrence-Never-Terry is using Josie to blackmail Layton, which means that Josie isn’t safe. They can’t lose the information she’s gathering, either. Layton concludes with “She’s our sister, Pike” and uh maybe he shouldn’t be using that word to describe their relationship given what they did in Dr. Pelton’s Airbnb a few weeks ago??? Pike doesn’t bring that up though - he just reluctantly agrees to carry out the hit.

Next, we head back to Pastor Logan’s Boxing Gym for Converting Depressed Lesbians. Logan and Till are sharing a drink and getting deep. She points out that his philosophies about hurting each other aren’t very Christ-like, and he retorts that the evidence of hurt is all around them. Till agrees, and says, “It’s depressing, to think that, at the end of the world, we can’t just find a way to be good to one another.” WHY HAS NO-ONE BUT TILL HUGGED TILL?

The Pastor then segues into shitting on Layton’s leadership, using bible verses about lost sheep and ineffective shepherding that practically out him as a Wilfordite. Till doesn’t exactly disagree about Layton’s poor leadership, but she wants to give him time. She raises a good point - Layton’s barely had the job for two weeks and has had to deal with a major unprecedented situation, so it’s fair enough that he hasn’t made good on all his revolution promises just yet. He’s on thin ice, though.

As the detective and the pastor speak, Pike shows off his train tracks tattoo and makes a weapon. Layton walks through the train and gets Terrence-Never-Terry’s security - LJ and Osweiller - to leave. Pike heads uptrain, scares off a Brakeman, then climbs up to the mopping mafia head office. Pike doesn’t strike sneakily: he gives Terrence-Never-Terry a knife, so that the fight feels fair.

Yeah, it sounded like bullshit to me, too!

Terrence-Never-Terry calls to Osweiller, but he’s gone. He tries to back up, and take Layton’s earlier offer for a 60:40 split. He won’t say a thing about Layton’s girl on Big Alice! But it’s too late. They have a brief, scrappy knife fight, until Pike pins Terrence-Never-Terry down and eventually kills him by filling his face with some kind of expanding foam. Ouch! Pike cries, and then we cut to Zarah telling Layton that she’s proud of him for ordering the hit. She’d make a cool villain! I’m into it!

Ruth announces the fake uplink to the passengers and leads them in a prayer (another one!) for Melanie, while Pike shaves his hair and beard off.

In the Headwoods’ lab, it’s time for Josie’s anaesthetic. Josie pretends to take the pills, then spits them out and hides them in her bandages. She’s going to remain awake for the hour-long procedure, so that she can spy on them. SHE’S SO FUCKING BADASS! She doesn’t notice Bob in the window, though. He saw her hide the pills.

While they operate, the Headwoods complain that Sykes only brings them bad news, and that Wilford pushes too hard. But Wilford won’t lose. It’s starting tonight - Wilford is using the breachmen so early! They’re disappointed that they’ll lose some good subjects too soon. Josie listens to their chatter and makes mental lists to stop herself screaming while they LITERALLY BURN OFF HER SKIN. Her list is a bit repetitive, if I’m honest. “Blood, blood, blood…” I’ve thankfully never undergone anaesthetised surgery, but if I did I think I’d probably try to add some different things to my coping list? Cats, perhaps? Just a suggestion!

After the surgery, Bob dramatically throws back a curtain to confront Josie about spitting out the anaesthetic pills. She denies it, but Bob demands the pills from her. He won’t tell on her. We also get another incredible height difference shot in this scene, so let’s appreciate that for a second?

Stunning!

In Big Alice’s engine, Wilford is asking Audrey to stay while another Lena Hall/Miss Audrey cover plays. She tells him she’s not the same person any more, but he insists that she is. She reiterates: he’s not listening, and she won’t be broken by him. I have never wanted a character to be right more.

If Wilford won��t let Audrey in and he won’t change for the good of the train, then why is she even there? Wilford asks her who she thinks will win, between him and Layton. She doesn’t answer, and instead asks him what he’s planning. He only tells her that he wants her by his side. Wilford adds that they’re only half alive without each other, and asks her to stay again.

At the border, Layton receives Josie’s message very publicly! How many people does he want to start suspecting Josie as a spy!? The message says “TONIGHT! BREACHMEN!” Layton immediately rushes off to the queer gym, leaving Ruth in charge of the rest of the trading.

Uptrain, a hooded figure approaches the breach room. But when they notice Layton and Roche, they quickly turn away. The cops accost Boki and start yelling questions at him, but Boki is genuinely clueless. Then, alarms begin to ring. Breach workers all over the train have murdered by hooded figures.

Back at the border, Mr. Wilford approaches the door with Miss Audrey. The alarms are still blaring, and he asks Ruth what’s happening. Ruth doesn’t know, and Audrey isn’t taking any of Wilford’s shit - she immediately asks him what he’s done.

Wilford just tells Audrey to decide whether she’s staying, and invites Ruth to Big Alice, too. But Ruth can’t go right now, because she has to deal with whatever is causing the blaring alarms. She calls to Audrey, but Audrey turns away.

Audrey has established that she’s a survivor, so running towards the scary alarms would arguably be out of character. But it means that she’s staying with Wilford tonight. What was that she said, about him not keeping her against her will? Sigh.

#snowpiercer s2e5 #snowpiercer 2.05 #snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer rewatch #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer #snowpiercer season 2

[sneakyboymerlin]

Gwaine

First impression: Honestly? He was fun at first, but I was very skeeved by his first interaction with Gwen. It definitely cast a shadow over his character the first time I watched the series.

Impression now: I’d die for this man. The reason I can look past that scene now is because 1) it didn’t become a recurring theme for him, and 2) it’s clear that the writers intended for it to come across as “Gwaine hits on her, realizes it’s not working, and respects her wishes” but I think to most of us ladies watching, it came across more like “WHY does he keep PUSHING for her to TALK TO HIM, she’s just trying to SHOP for FOOD.” The main parts to highlight are his “This isn’t working, is it?” and Gwen’s “No, but I like that you tried, and that you knew when to back down.” It’s possible it came across better in the script but went horribly onscreen, but it was dragged on for too long. However, I can compromise on the point that when Gwaine did realize he was unwanted company, he did in fact back down. Still hurts to watch, though. Moving forward: after I got past this, I was able to actually look deeper into the kind of person he is and all of his unique relationships, and now my brand is merwaine, my cats are merwaine, my family is merwaine… everything is merwaine and soon you will be, too.

Favorite moment: The entire ‘pheasant’ conversation. From the start, Gwaine sees Merlin’s fear of the unknown creature in the night and immediately minimizes that with a humorous response. Merlin doesn’t even realize how Gwaine’s successfully taken his mind off of the danger in his confusion and amusement, and even joins in on the joke the next time they hear it. Then, of course, the ultimate merwaine moment: Gwaine’s admittance that he’s here for Merlin, “Not Arthur.” It establishes everything you need to know about Gwaine: his loyalty, his selflessness, his feelings. Feelings of attachment, of course. But then Merlin says, “I’d do the same for you,” and Gwaine follows this up with: “I hope so. You’re the only friend I’ve got.” This shows what Gwaine sees as a true friend (not the people in taverns who he buys his way into the hearts of, or even Arthur who he sees as the only noble “worth dying for,” but Merlin, who accepted him for who he is and asked him to stay, who liked Gwaine as he is and not for how he could benefit from him) and at the same time, it tells us that he has so much self-doubt that even this unconditional affection he gets from Merlin feels as if it will prove to be false. And most importantly: it shows how his relationship to Merlin is completely different from his relationships to anyone else, even the knights he hasn’t met yet. We never see him so emotionally vulnerable when it comes to anyone but Merlin. He constantly wears a facade around everyone else based on what he thinks they need. This is often jokes/comedic relief. But you can see his nervousness when he drops the facade with Merlin, how his eyes shift back and forth when he admits it all, and how when Merlin doesn’t understand that he means him, he just looks into Merlin eyes with all the adoration in the world and makes sure he knows how much Gwaine values him. Literally the best scene of the series.

Idea for a story: I think we all know by now that I’m a sucker for stories about hurt!Merlin/protective!Gwaine. I mean, that’s their canon dynamic, after all. Even if Merlin isn’t hurt per se, Gwaine sees him in need and offers his support. But I’d like to explore Gwaine’s feelings of inadequacy, like maybe Merlin has finally gotten sick of him after all, and he was a fool to chase after something permanent. But when Gwaine is in danger, Merlin comes through, and he realizes that it’s not so one-sided after all, even if Merlin is busy with Arthur all the time (especially when Gwaine finds out exactly how much danger Arthur is really in).

Unpopular opinion: Gwaine has fun with Percival, but he doesn’t have chemistry with him. I understand their ship as a convenient side pairing (if you ship merthur then it can be paralleled I suppose, though not in any way that I personally find meaningful). I just don’t get the obsession beyond a ‘pair the spares’ type deal. If I was going to pair Gwaine with one of the knights, I would choose Elyan before Percival.

Favorite relationship: Speak of the devil… listen, it’s merwaine. You knew this. It’s healthier for Merlin overall, fics about them have a tendency to look at Merlin and Gwaine both from a more unique perspective than the conglomerate of fandom, and frankly?? They have amazing chemistry from the start. All of their one-on-one interactions come across as so… unnecessarily flirty. And I wouldn’t change it for the world. The ship writes itself.

Favorite headcanon: Gwaine sees magic as dangerous—playing with fire, so to speak. If he were to find out about Merlin’s magic and see how he uses it, how he remains so very much himself regardless, he would see only the beauty in it. A wall of flame is no longer a treacherous obstacle but a way that Merlin can keep himself safe from those who would do him harm. Merlin can change the weather with a thought, or create life, but he never does so with foul intent, because he’s Merlin. No one else will tell Merlin this, but Gwaine would make sure he knows that his magic is something to be proud of and to enjoy and cherish. He’s more than just a tool or a weapon. Merlin showed him that he’s more than his uses, and he’d return the favor, given the chance.

#bbc merlin #sir gwaine #mergwaine #merwaine #ask game #mine

[bestworstcase]

"[Rapunzel] stops accepting blame for things that aren’t her fault". I've seen this mentioned before on other blogs talking about Rapunzel's character growth over the series, but I don't understand what it's referring to. Sorry if this is too vague/broad an ask, but what are you thinking of in seasons 1 and 2 when you say that Rapunzel has learned to stop taking the blame for things that aren't her fault by season 3? Apart from Rapunzel's Enemy and maybe QFAD, I can't think of anything.

i think this is one of the more understated things about rapunzel’s characterization in that there is never like, a specific moment where rapunzel Verbalizes acceptance of blame for things she clearly isn’t responsible for, but it still imo informs a lot of her behavior?

and it goes all the way back to the film. right out of the gate we see that guilt tripping and blame passing are two of gothel’s chief weapons: when rapunzel’s feelings get hurt by one of gothel’s “jokes,” gothel chides rapunzel to “stop taking everything so seriously,” which is abuser-speak for “nothing i say is wrong, it’s your fault if you’re hurt.” 

then there’s digs like “oh, rapunzel, you know i hate leaving you after a fight—especially when i’ve done absolutely nothing wrong...” 

and the big one, after gothel loses her temper and yells at rapunzel, and then immediately collapses disconsolately into a chair and says “ugh, great—now i’m the bad guy.” overtly blaming rapunzel for “making” gothel snap at her. (this of course gets called back to at the end of the film, though it’s less a guilt trip there than it is a threat.)

aaaand right before “mother knows best (reprise)” when rapunzel asks how gothel found her, gothel says, “oh, it was easy, i just listened for the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed that.” this one imo is the clearest illustration of how all this impacts rapunzel emotionally, because she goes from scared/alarmed/startled to just. sagging, in obvious guilt. 

but then of course there’s also the scene right after rapunzel leaves the tower, where we see her oscillating wildly from jubilance to despair and guilt as she frets over what her leaving will “do” to gothel, how mad / upset / betrayed gothel will feel, etc. so even when gothel isn’t there, actively reinforcing this behavior, we can see that rapunzel very much feels that gothel’s feelings are her responsibility—and if gothel is upset, that’s rapunzel’s fault. 

anyway!! all this adds up to rapunzel leaving the tower with this subconscious mindset that all problems are her problems, and we see this expressed very early on in s1. i would even argue as early as before ever after... with both frederic and eugene. 

BEA goes really hard right out of the gate with driving home how restless and uncomfortable rapunzel feels in corona; how stifled she is, and how badly she wants to go out and explore the wider world. but it also shows how hard she tries to stuff it down, because her success as a princess is “important to [her] dad.” she tries to bring up her discontent with eugene, but in a roundabout way so as to avoid actually saying she’s unhappy—and then when he says that he’s perfectly happy and content, rapunzel takes a deep breath and agrees with him. it isn’t overt text, but she’s still in “managing other people’s feelings” mode, and there’s a reason the only person she is honest about her own feelings with is cassandra—because cassandra signals very clearly that she is not going to feel hurt, offended, or disappointed if rapunzel is less than happy in corona. quite the opposite, cass is the one who suggests sneaking out in the first place!

now obviously, neither fred’s nor eugene’s feelings are rapunzel’s responsibility and i think both would be horrified to know that rapunzel feels like it’s her job to make them happy... but that doesn’t really matter, because rapunzel has been trained all her life to do this and that’s not a pattern that just goes away overnight. 

and then also in BEA, we see how quick rapunzel is to castigate herself for doing something that upsets someone else... when eugene proposes and she panics and runs away, her reaction is “i feel horrible about eugene” and to feel guilty/upset about not wanting to marry him Right Now.

aaaand of course caine blaming rapunzel for stuff frederic did goes entirely unremarked upon, partly because things like the hair reveal took priority over that but partly also, in my opinion, because rapunzel just kind of Accepted That because she’s so used to being blamed for everything.

this is sort of a recurring theme throughout a lot of s1. you mentioned RE, but for the sake of completeness—i think the most telling thing in that ep is that, when rapunzel finds out what booing really signifies, her first question is what could i have done to this person?, because the concept that this might be a HIM problem doesn’t even cross her mind. she assumes that it’s her fault he doesn’t like her. 

and then there’s stuff like pascal’s story, which i think is an interesting one because like... frankly, it’s not entirely rapunzel’s fault that she stood pascal up. yes, as the princess she could have stood up at six o’clock on the dot to say no more petitions, i am going to dinner. but also she’s the princess, and she’s busy, and pascal’s story is as much an episode about pascal learning that just because rapunzel is busy that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still love him as much as it is about rapunzel learning how to navigate work/life balance—but it’s also very clear that rapunzel’s perspective is “i have been a HORRIBLE friend and i need to put EVERYTHING ELSE on hold until i have FIXED my TERRIBLE BEHAVIOR” when the reality is more like “rapunzel and pascal are both going through a major adjustment period and need to have a realistic talk about expectations now that rapunzel is, like, training to rule a country.” 

in painter’s block, rapunzel feels so traumatized by the (largely correct) decisions she made in QFAD that she can’t make any decisions at all and falls prey to sugracha’s manipulation, and i personally think this is the beginning of the tipping point for her where she begins to see that hey... she’s just a person, she literally cannot be responsible for every bad thing that happens, she can’t be in two places at once, she can’t fix everything for everyone... and sometimes she needs to prioritize one problem over the other. that’s why the emotional climax of that episode is rapunzel saying “difficult choices are what make us who we are.” that’s her letting go of the horrific guilt she felt about choosing corona over varian, and letting eugene and the others put themselves in danger to save her parents. 

that epiphany carries her through SOTS and enables her to make the tough calls she needs to make re: stopping varian, but it also doesn’t mean that her tendency to blame herself for stuff that isn’t her fault goes away altogether. just look at BTCW: while she’s trying to make sense of how/why eugene could be marrying stalyan, her first instinct is to blame herself. to wonder if maybe this is a response to her kind of sort of turning down his kind of sort of second proposal. 

and the rest of the vardaros arc is like... i would say half rapunzel delaying moving on because she’s scared of what waits for her at the end of the black rock trail (as freebird confirms) and half rapunzel making vardaros’s problems her problems and trying to fix them because she feels responsible. 

curses is... not a good episode (canardist, why) but the plot basically hinges on canardist successfully making rapunzel feel guilty / dubious enough about taking back her own telescope that she starts buying into the curse stuff and psyching herself out. 

*as a sidebar here, there are also instances in this same period of rapunzel acknowledging her culpability in stuff she DID do wrong, for example in under raps—but in these cases, it’s interesting to me to note that her apologies actually aren’t very good apologies. in the under raps example, for instance, she also foists off blame on cassandra (saying basically, well i wouldn’t have interfered and put you in danger if you had told me everything, even though i am terrible at keeping secrets and we both know it). and this makes sense, because gothel certainly did not model good, healthy apologizing habits for rapunzel, lol. so she’s in this weird zone where she tends to feel guilty for everything / feels responsible for other people’s feelings but when she DOES mess up for realsies she also doesn’t really have the skills to navigate a true apology. this poor girl

i would say that RATGT is about the point where rapunzel switches gears from accepting blame (both for things that aren’t her fault, like all this stuff, and for things that are, like when she apologized to cass for being a dick in goodbye and goodwill or when she apologized to pascal for belittling him in king pascal) to sort of... overcorrecting and entering her “i’m right, you’re wrong” phase. RATGT is when she starts overtly shutting cass down, and RATGT is when cass’s injury happens—something so horrific and scary that i tend to think rapunzel just cannot process the guilt. it’s too much, too painful, and not something she is emotionally equipped to hold onto or work through in a healthy way...

...so she shoves it away and blames cass instead, very openly. she transmutes her guilt into anger, lessening the pain she feels. and she sticks to that throughout RDO, throughout the rest of s2, and evidently through the rest of the series given she literally never apologizes for it. which is outside of the scope of what you asked alksdfjklsfd but i tend to think basically, rapunzel is not very good at distinguishing between “i feel guilty, but it isn’t my fault” and “i feel guilty, because it is my fault” so in the process of unlearning the former behavior she also forces away the latter, and at the end of s3 she’s in a place where she needs to re-learn how to feel guilt in a healthy, reasonable way. because guilt isn’t always a bad emotion, sometimes it’s just your brain’s way of saying “i did something bad, and i want to make up for it” and That’s Good. 

#rta #im just rambling but bhjhjfhjdfs #i guess in the broader sense anon #'blame' here doesn't exclusively mean 'feeling guilty' #it also means 'feeling responsible' #anyway this is a bit of a mess but these are my thoughts #Anonymous

[evilisk]

Reading Len’En Profiles Part 4

This took a while didn’t it? This is being split up into two parts since Fumikado’s profile is way bigger (with more info about other characters, including future characters in BPoHC) than initially expected. Teams, Sese, Tsugumi, Shion and Tenkai are covered in this part.

= = =

As always, here’s a quick look on the profiles for the returning characters. 

Team Profiles

Shrine Team:

I like how Yabusame’s profile mentions that they wear lighter clothes in Winter than in Summer yet the only discernible difference I can tell from their sprite is “Yabu choosing not to wear shoes”

I can't believe Tsuba’s profile casually reveals that they remodeled their body structure so they can't feel the cold. What the heck Tsuba?

Slaver Team

Kuroji’s profile is such a swerve. We went from “gotta put food on the table for my siblings” to Kuroji going full “Ameyama Telegraph style Reimu” who shakes down people [youkai] for money

Kuroji having ambitions to open a school in Mugenri is unexpected

Wait, so Kuroji, who is described as being a scholar of pre-history, wants to open a school (and presumably wants to teach at it). And Keine, from Touhou, is a were-hakutaku who can manipulate history, that teaches at a school. HMMMMMMM.....

“This is kinda dangerous” lmao at that being in Saragimaru’s profile. I appreciate how this is referenced in Yaorochi’s profile (their profile mentions that they feel like they’re being watched)

It’s revealed that Saragimaru doesn’t actually know if they are related by blood which is kinda weird? I got the impression that the one who was in the dark about everything was Yaorochi, not Saragimaru. Maybe I should take another look at their EMS profile...

Bottle Opener Team

I mentioned previously that one of the EMS profiles confirmed that Orochi was a youkai. Well Yaorochi’s profile 200% confirms that Orochi was a youkai with the line “[Yaorochi’s] a youkai very much like Yamato no Orochi” which is good to know

It’s been a while so I forgot, and ended up chuckling at, the bottle opener stuff. Especially the “Yaorochi has been training so good they’re good at the bottle opener now too!” angle

"For the sake of creativity, [Sukune doesn’t] speak like a normal person.” So that’s the reason for their accent? Lol okay

I like how Sukune’s wings are given a small explanation here. I wouldn’t have guessed that they could fly without them (I would have assumed they can’t normally fly, and that they fought on-foot in EMS)

= = =

Boss Profiles

Stage 1 / Stage Extra+ Boss - Sese Kitsugai

Original Opinion: While I find their in-game spellcards (as a Stage 1 boss) to be rather zany, I love this Bony Baby. Seriously, I cannot look at their sprite, with their cute smiling baby fangs, and see Sese as an adult (I think they’re referred to as “a kid” by some of the teams too). I am not so hot on EX-Sese as a design, but in concept? I LOVE IT. I think their BPoHC design (which I love, love LOVE, but more on that in the next post) is a better middle ground between  “base” Sese and EX-Sese, but I digress. Sese is 'Sese-rious’ fun!

Comments on Profile:

Interesting, interesting. So apparently Sese Kitsugai (or just “Sese”, according to their Wiki entry) isn’t their real name. They just thought it was a pleasant nickname.

It seems that without their skull, they don’t remember much (like their original name). It’s weird since they draw attention to Sese’s current skull helmet in Yaorochi’s route (Sukune can’t remove it, Yaorochi seems to think it’s special) but I suppose that Sese’s original skull should be WAY bigger than their current one.

Sese has a second profile which adds a lot more details. Apparently, they were scavenging bones near Harujion while that big epic fight was happening in Stage 6.

So EX Sese’s appearance is their canon true/”original” appearance. Boo. I honestly think their BPoHC design is way better. It also seems that without the original skull, Sese cannot maintain their original appearance.

Sese’s EX Profile has an extra ability: “something like conquering the above-ground”. That’s not ominous at all.

I cannot help but wonder if Sese originally fought Tsurubami and just got whooped really hard... okay, now I have the mental image of Tsurubami booting Sese’s skull so hard that they became dumb.

Oh and Sese is mentioned as excavating becoming a hobby for them. Good for Sese.

New Opinion: Y’know, it just hit me that Sese is *basically* Rumia / EX-Rumia but canon and with 200% more bones...

Regardless, Sese is so good. Just like the two other Stage 1 bosses so far. It’s crazy how good JynX is at doing Stage 1 bosses, I dislike most Touhou Stage 1 bosses (the only good ones are Eika and Nazrin).

= = =

Stage 2 Boss - Tsugumi Umatachi

Original Opinion: Tsugumi is the one character I say has aged like fine wine (to me). I thought that Tsugumi being a grumpy goon, despite being a steampunk-looking, bat wing-wearing, eggplant-riding jockey, was such a strange design choice. Then I realized that “grumpy person who dresses colorfully” is basically my real life aesthetic and I totally got it. Though I outright like Fumikado more, I appreciate their personality and their fun musical theme.

Comments on Profile:

...After reading this profile, I’m not sure what to take at face value. 

Okay so first off, they were hired by a certain someone. It’s unclear if this someone is Fumikado (the obvious choice) or Iyozane (who is technically the person who put out the bounty that Tsugumi and Kuroji are following up on in the game).

There’s some reference to boke and tsukkomi that I honestly do not understand. Like I recognize the terms from Gintama, but I’m not sure what JynX is trying to say about Tsugumi as a character when they say “Ninjas!” or that Tsugumi wasn’t born in Japan.

Also, their species is “Eggplant Jockey”. I have no frame of reference for what this is supposed to mena.

New Opinion: I... have no new opinion because I have no idea what I just read. I was going to say “oh so Tsugumi isn’t Japanese” but I just skimmed their page on the Shout Wiki and there is no reference to this fact (which makes it seem like that was just an example of this boke and tsukkomi thing mentioned before)

I got nothing :/ Tsugumi is still cool tho

= = =

Stage 6 Boss - Shion

Original Opinion: Just as Sese continues the unbroken tradition of Len’En games having incredibly good Stage 1 bosses, Shion continues the tradition of Len’En games having incredibly underwhelming final bosses 

Yaorochi and Clause both had something keeping them from being great final bosses; for Clause, its their joke character personality that lets them down, while with Yaorochi, it’s their theme. In Shion’s case, it’s the fact that they come completely out of nowhere, hijacking Fumikado’s rightful place as Final Boss that gets me all hot and bothered. (I think that Shion giving off strong “low rent Yuyuko vibes doesn’t help their case either)

It’s an absolute shame, since Shion seems to have clearly learned from Clause and Yaorochi, since they’ve got the creepy (cool) personality and the kickass boss theme. If only they had actual relevance to RMI’s plot...

Comments on Profile:

So apparently Shion is from a magical plant that can resurrect or grant immortality, it always pops up in a random place and the Senri Priests are usually supposed to cut it down when that does happen... oh dear.

Oh I see now, Shion is like Ermac from Mortal Kombat i.e. they’re a mass of souls and experiences that collectively form a new being. That’s a pretty cool backstory, actually! ...Wait, so the final spellcard that Shion has... are those like the names of the souls they absorbed?? That seems interesting.

So it goes that the souls in Shion were split at some point: the good souls formed the body while the evil souls formed the spirit. This intended equilibrium, however, was distorted by Mugenri’s barrier and instead of a split of good and evil it was just evil and more evil. Well that basically explains why Shion went from no chill to being very chill after Stage 6. Shion is mentioned as literally getting killed in all the endings (because everyone apparently went too ham). So we basically have “Evil and Eviler Shion” dying and then Harujion bringing them back as “Equilibrium of Good and Evil Shion”. Interesting, interesting.

This last part of the profile is such a mood. “[...] a good number of those voices were playing the same melody in unison, that “the world is full of malice.” “...Shion had no doubt about that claim. If their body is a miniature copy of the world itself, then they are evil itself.”

New Opinion: While I still hate that Shion hijacked Fumikado’s role as final villain, they are a way more interesting character than I initially thought. I do know that Shion is apparently a playable character in BPoHC, but have no idea how JynX intends to use them, so I’m interested to see what JynX’s plans are for them

= = =

Stage Extra Boss - Tenkai Zuifeng

Original Opinion: I think my first thoughts went exactly like “oh god that outfit is horrible” to “oh god this fight is insane” to “oh so they’re just Tsurubami’s really, really tired friend, I dig it”. I think the aspect I appreciate most is that they’re basically the straight man character the series has been missing. Yabusame and Tsubakura are weirdos, Kuroji is a scoundrel, the Adagumos operate on weird youkai logic and Sukune lacks common, human sense.

Tenkai is your only option if you’re looking for a sensible recurring character. And this sensibility only makes the interpretation of a Tenkai who is “endlessly tired of everyone’s shit” stronger in my mind.  Beyond the personality, they have a great theme, a cool backstory and, most importantly, a really damn good shot type in BPoHC. Now if only their outfits weren’t absolutely, consistently garish. It’s like JynX heard me say “the Len’En games need more colour” and decided to concentrate it in Tenkai’s outfit which has like, EVERY SINGLE COLOUR. 

I still love my Tired Barrier Carpenter but please stop picking your own outfits

Comments on Profile: 

Okay so Tenkai is from a renowned family of barrier builders that has worked with the Senri Shrine. Note the focus on the word *builders*; apparently these builders aren’t so good at repairing barriers. Cue Tenkai getting a job to repair the Mugenri Barrier as part of her ‘training’ (at least, that’s what it seems like on the surface. It’s mentioned that this training is also an attack on Tenkai’s prestige). 

The profile mentions Tenkai pulling some prank as a way to get back at her bosses. Tenkai hating her bosses just makes tired Tenkai more and more real in my head.

From my knowledge of the routes in-game, this prank was not repairing the barrier immediately, letting the souls outside the Barrier into Mugenri and basically letting the events of the game happen (Fumikado and co. start gathering souls, Harujion sprouts near Fumikado, Shion is born, Sese transforms in the Extra etc.). I guess it’s also meant to be an excuse to test Tsubakura and Yabusame. In short, we can all thank Tenkai for the events of this game.

IIRC, I think Tenkai is referenced as being from the Outside World? Maybe? I know it’s brought up in the Kuroji / Saragimaru route. 

It’s also not mentioned in the profile I believe Lumen is responsible for punching a hole in the barrier in the first place which is HILARIOUS

Their title is of the “Old Dictators”. So basically, Tenkai is the Marisa to Tsurubami’s Reimu.

New Opinion: I already liked Tenkai, this is just cementing my headcanon of Tenkai being a very, very tired person. There’s not a whole lot to say about Tenaki since this is all just plot and worldbuilding details 

= = =

I will finally get into Iyozane (who has a small profile, but has a large role in Fumikado’s profile) and Fumikado (who has a huge, huge profile) in the next part.

#len'en #len'en lore #reactivate majestical imperial #len'en project #len'en content #len'en reiretsuden #sese kitsugai #tsugumi umatachi #shion len'en #tenkai zuifeng #len'en reiretsuden reactivate majestical imperial #not a reblog

[dont-let-me-stop-you]

Singing superstar, American Idol breakout and The Voice coach Kelly Clarkson gets her own talk show. And, boy, does she have a lot to say!

Clarkson is still shocked that NBC crowned her the host of her very own daytime talk show. “When it was brought up to me, I was like, ‘What? No one’s going to watch!’” she says, with a self-deprecating laugh. It’s exactly that everyday charm that makes Clarkson so relatable—and so perfect as the host of The Kelly Clarkson Show (premiering Monday, September 9, at 2 p.m. ET on NBC). She calls the opportunity “a dream I never had but didn’t know I loved—and wanted!”

Clarkson, of course, is no stranger to television. The Grammy-winning songstress got her break in 2002 at the age of 20, after winning the inaugural season of American Idol. She went on to serve as a mentor on ABC’s singing competition Duets and as a bubbly coach on NBC’s The Voice, where she’ll return alongside Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani and John Legend when season 17 begins September 23.

She grew up singing in church alongside her fellow parishioners in Burleson, Texas, not realizing she had a special talent until she was asked to join the junior high choir. “I was like, ‘Nerd alert!’ And then I became a nerd!” she jokes. It was then that Clarkson realized she had a versatile range and was a natural onstage. “I was oddly comfortable. Even from the first time; I never was nervous.”

Her mother, a first-grade English teacher, wasn’t exactly thrilled that her daughter turned down college to pursue a singing career. “When I said I wanted to be a singer, she was like, ‘Well, a lot of people do,’ and she was right.” But Clarkson appreciated the nudge to perfect her craft and go after her dream, which was initially to be a backup vocalist for noteworthy acts. “On Idol, I saw so many parents lie to their children, telling them they’re awesome and should pursue it when they were so off-key,” she admits. “My mom inspired me to work extra hard.”

She now thinks of early days on Idol as “the ultimate boot camp.” With the network still figuring out the show’s concept during season one, the contenders were frequently whisked from one location to another, asked to perform songs they didn’t know minutes before taking the stage, and worked through exhaustion. “I feel like I can handle anything now!” Clarkson, 37, says confidently, which will definitely come in handy for her own show, as she will be filming The Voice and The Kelly Clarkson Show simultaneously, rushing from one NBC set to another on a golf cart. “It’s going to get a little tricky, but I think we figured it out,” she says with her signature perk and optimism.

Dream Guests Clarkson has learned a few tricks from appearing on so many talk shows herself. As her own career progressed from Idol breakout to format-spanning superstar, she found herself a guest on just about all of them, talking about how she came from a little town in Texas, went on to win TV’s biggest talent show and amass dozens of awards (including three Grammys)—as well as notch more than 25 Billboard Top 100 singles, including the No. 1 pop hits “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You),” “My Life Would Suck Without You” and “A Moment Like This.”

She’s a true talk-show fan who “grew up on Oprah,” she says. “My mom and I watched her every day after school.” She also appreciates the humor of Ellen DeGeneres—in fact, her new show will lead into The Ellen DeGeneres Show in the NBC afternoon lineup—and says she hopes to infuse elements of her talk-show idols into her own show format. She wants to provide a lighthearted escape from the day while tackling more serious topics.

Her dream guest is Oscar-winning actress Meryl Streep. “I’m a tad bit obsessed,” she says. She’d also love to wrangle some of her musical pals, like Dolly Parton and superstar country couple Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks. But Clarkson is just as excited to sit down and chat with everyday folks doing noteworthy endeavors. She’s quick to rave about a woman who runs an organization that throws birthday parties for homeless youth, whom she had on the pilot test run of her show. “I hope we bring her back!”

But music, naturally, will always be a recurring theme. “We’re opening up every show with music and highlighting artists we love,” she says, teasing that she might even join a few of her guests onstage. She also promises a mix of serious and heartwarming moments, hilarious skits and interesting guests across the board. And expect “anything and everything to happen,” whether she’s prepared for it or not.

“The thing I’ve learned from people like Jimmy [Fallon], Seth [Meyers] and Ellen is don’t plan too much because life takes hold of the show and things start happening,” she says. So Clarkson is ready to go with whatever pops up, a skill she demonstrated when hosting the 2019 Billboard Music Awards several months ago while battling appendicitis and requiring emergency surgery hours after exiting the MGM Grand Garden Arena.

The multifaceted star, who’s had hits on the pop, dance and country charts, admits she had somewhat of a déjà vu moment weeks later when she had an ovarian cyst burst seconds before going live on The Voice. “I grabbed Blake’s arm, Carson [Daly] said, ‘We’re live,’ and I thought, Oh Lord, here we go!” she recalls. Clarkson battled on and wound up back in the ER, joking that she felt horrible for making the paramedic attending to her so nervous that he had to poke her three times to find her vein for the IV.

The only thing that scares her, she says, is potentially not knowing the backstory of all of her guests ahead of time. “There’s no way I could possibly know everyone,” she says, candidly. But she’s surrounded herself with a team to keep her prepped, a lesson she learned from country superstar Reba McEntire, who she’s looked to as a mentor throughout her career (and who is her husband’s former stepmother). “She told me once, ‘You’re caring too much about too many things. You have to have people in the right spots,’” says Clarkson, who deemed the advice life-changing.

Clarkson is mostly unfiltered, which she likes to think is a positive trait. “Sometimes my husband doesn’t agree,” she jokes—and she does her best to make everyone feel comfortable on her set.

Family Affair Speaking of her husband, you won’t see Brandon Blackstock, 42, on the show—if he has anything to do with it. Clarkson admits her attempts to drag him out during the practice rounds were futile. “But I’ll probably force it somehow!” she says.

They’ve been married for almost six years. They met in 2006 when Clarkson performed on an Academy of Country Music Awards telecast and reconnected six years later at Super Bowl XLVI after Clarkson’s then-manager, Narvel Blackstock (McEntire’s ex-husband and Blackstock’s father), reintroduced them. “I found out he was single and I was like, ‘Yes, please!’” she says, recalling that he ticked all the boxes—including that he had career in the industry, meaning that he would understand her life in the limelight. The duo later learned they were, coincidentally, raised in the same small town, which further cemented their bond.

Today, Blackstock manages her, and Clarkson deems him her ultimate teammate. “We both love what we do, but we’re really good about checking out whenever we make it home from work,” she says. They spend time together every night after putting their kids to bed. “Sometimes we’ll go out or we’ll just listen to music,” she says, noting she’s “the bold one” and will often initiate a slow dance. “I’ll ask and he’s like, ‘OK!’ He’s probably just trying to get lucky!”

When she’s not at work, Clarkson prefers the quiet life and quality family time with their kids, River, 5, and Remington, 3, and Blackstock’s two children from his previous marriage, Savannah, 17, and Seth, 12, at their homes in Los Angeles and the Nashville area. “We go bowling, putt-putt, have movie nights, color together, ride little bikes in the backyard,” she says. In her physically demanding line of work, it’s also important to prioritize her health by planning quieter times, whether that’s harvesting honey from her backyard beehives or cooking with eggs from her hens. And she credits her typical happy-go-lucky persona to decades of hard work.

“I used to suffer from depression and I could easily slip back into that if I weren’t steadily paying attention to time management. With all the things that I do, I definitely need time for me,” she says. One of her favorite self-care practices includes keeping a gratitude journal. She is a sucker for a good self-help book and a big believer in surrounding herself with positive people. “Once I started weeding out [negative] people, it made a huge difference,” she says.

Another must is constantly trying new things. “I like being all over the map. I get really bored with monotony and I can’t stand to do the same thing,” she says. Clarkson enjoyed voicing the character Moxy in the animated movie UglyDolls early this year. “It was a fun challenge to hop into the [recording] booth,” she says.

Beyond her new TV series, she has her sights set on Broadway. She admits that between her current work and raising kids, it would be hard to pull off logistically. But she’s hoping to sneak in an upcoming NBC Live performance. “I want them to do White Christmas and I want to be Rosemary Clooney!” she says.

She acknowledges that she has enough on her plate for the time being, juggling multiple jobs, family and kids of all ages and stages. While her toddlers are in what she describes as a “cute stage,” which involves them adorably singing along to her vast array of tunes, her 17-year-old stepdaughter’s musical choices sometimes lead her into some interesting new parenting terrain.

“I’ll be in the car with her and I’m like, ‘What are we listening to? Do not let your father hear this,’” she says, with a laugh. “She’s a good kid, but if those hardcore lyrics ever lead to action, then stepmom is gonna take it away!” she playfully threatens.

Clarkson believes she’ll be able to handle whatever comes her way—on the new show or off. “I’m into a lot of stuff that maybe normal 37-year-olds don’t know about because of teenagers,” she says. “But then I am super into Disney because of our toddlers. I’m also a working woman and I own a business.” On The Kelly Clarkson Show, her goal will be to connect with her guests while letting her natural personality shine.

“I’m not going to try too hard to be anything. I feel like they gave me a show because they like me,” she says. “So I’m just going to lean into KC and hope it works out!”

#kelly clarkson #kelly #clarkson #interview #parade #parade magazine #2019 #the kelly clarkson show

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 96: Unspoken Rule

Man I thought it would be a lot longer before I did another of these, but as it turns out I fucking hate in between pages.  Y’know, those pages between the actual good and interesting shit?  Y’know the parts that are in between the fun parts, but you have to have them to actually move characters to the good parts? The parts that are boring and filler?  Yeah as an artist/writer I hate those too and it took me most of the week to come up with a page to make it not boring as sin.  Sadly this means, ANOTHER RANT!  And this time we are taking a look at Unspoken Rule. But before we do, I’d like to share with you the bit of panic that set in and what kind of pressure I had on me when trying to force an update.  For a second I thought that this rant was going to be about…

And I was very, very, scared.

Thankfully a friend notified me that I don’t know how to count, so we’re talking about this chapter instead!  Boy what a relief that was, I thought.  But it seemed a bit disappointing.  I hadn’t heard anything of this page, seems like it’ll be a short rant.  That won’t do.  So I figured, “hey if there’s not much to say.  Fuck it, we’ll do a double feature with the carnival…”

Sadly, I have something to say.

And we start with a good lighthearted joke.  Although, that expression in the first panel throws it off a bit.  The dialogue on the initial read says snark and sassy, but the face says honest concern, but then we show it is snarky.  So the face is just, confusing.  Not worth kicking up a fuss about, but definitely a headscratcher.

Anyway, on to what’s actually happening.  Which is Mike is being nervous and back and forth about wanting to talk to Lucy and apologize.  And it’s so weird to me.  This is such a serious plot point, and major conflict in the story, yet this is played for laughs. And not even good laughs, just hollow jokes it feels almost tasteless.  But not as tasteless as this:

BIG OOF  

Alright guys, see this?

I am absolved of this being uncharacteristically brash and open.  If Taeshi can do that kind of rudeness, so can I.  Lucy is just so cold now, it feels bad.  Not out of character, not unrealistic, just…bad.

But moving from that, we get into these two.   And…

Awww…th-this is actually pretty sad. And engaging.

HEY! I SEE YOU REACHING FOR MY HEARTSTRINGS! YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY!

But seriously, this a very nice scene. It’s kind of touching, and it’s a moment I wish we had more of.  

It’s…actually very nice. The characters are finally airing their grievances, and we’re getting somewhere. I…I actually like th-

OH YOU BACKSTABBING, HACK WRITING, BITCH! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! WHY ARE YOU STICKING YOUR DICK IN A GAS STATION MILKSHAKE?! BITCH,

ARE YOU FUCKING F’REAL SHAKES RIGHT NOW?!  WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU FEEL THE NEED TO ADD THAT?!  THIS JUST DESTROYS ALL IMMERSION, I ALMOST FELT SOMETHING THERE FOR A SECOND! BUT THEN YOU HAD TO DO SOMETHING SO DUMB!  THIS ISN’T EVEN ON THE CHARACTER, THIS IS A STRAIGHT UP WRITING ISSUE!  EVEN I WOULDN’T DO SOMETHING THIS DUMB!  IT’S SO OUT OF PLACE!  IT GIVES ME MENTAL WHIPLASH CAUSE I HAVE TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE TO MAKE SURE I’M NOT JUST FUCKING SEEING SHIT! AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S THE WORST PART ABOUT THIS FUCKING PANEL?!

IT’S IN THE PRINTED BOOK! Taeshi saw this, drew it, posted it, and got whatever feedback from it.  Then later came back, saw it, and edited a bunch of things for the book, and decided, “No that’s fine.  We’ll leave it there, that’s perfectly okay.”  And just left it there!  WHY?!  You had a good scene, an actual honest to god, good scene.  And you had to just make a dumb joke, and ruin the whole mood.  This is the sort of bad run and gun cheap gag sort of shtick that you’d expect to see from Volume 1!  Except, even Volume 1 knew when to take itself seriously, and maintain that serious tone!  I mean imagine if this happened in something like Zach’s talk with Lucy.

Any good graces this scene had, in setting up these two working out their problems and moving in a nice direction is thrown out the window now, and for what?!  What’s the purpose?  Why would yo-

Oh…Oh no…

Please, have mercy! You already stabbed my back, please don’t stab me in the heart! Please, not like this!

Aaaugh, no!  Not like this!  Poor Rachel!  It’s not fair I can’-

Wait….

I-is…Is that it?

Are you kidding me?

That’s it?  Two pages?  Really? That’s how you’re breaking it off?  This is how you’re going to stab me? Look, there’s like 3 more inches left in the knife, come on.  Push it deeper.  Twist it, I know you want to.  WHY ARE YOU HOLDING BACK? FUCKING WORK THIS SCENE AND MAKE ME CRY!  

NO FUCK YOU, WE’RE NOT MOVING PAST THIS!

YOU WROTE RACHEL’S BREAK UP. IN

TWO

FUCKING

PAGES!?

YOU WROTE OUT ONE OF THE MOST GROUNDED, HEALTHY, PRODUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR COMIC IN TWO PAGES LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!  WITH A HORRIBLE ONE-SIDED DIALOGUE, WHERE RACHEL IS TALKING TO PAULO WHO HAS SUDDENLY INHERITED THE EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING OF A BRICK WALL!  HOW COULD YOU DO THAT AFTER EVERYTHING YOU DID IN BUILDING THIS CHARACTER’S ENTIRE ARC AND DEVELOPMENT!?  AFTER TRANSFORMING A CHARACTER WHO WAS PORTRAYED AS UNLIKABLE, BITCHY, ANNOYING, SLUTTY, AND DUMB.

To fleshing her out, to be deep, thoughtful, caring, and supportive.  Rachel is my favorite character, and it’s not because she’s a slut it’s because she represented something in this comic that had been absent.  

Natural character development.  That wasn’t brought on by some big event shaking their entire core, and changing them. In fact, one of the best things about Rachel is that despite how differently her character’s reception is from Volume 6 compared to Volume 1, her personality, her attitude, and her core is mostly unchanged.  

She’s still slutty, she’s overweight, she’s silly.  But a big part of why I love her as a character, and why I think many others do as well, is because never does it seem to be a negative to her.  We don’t see her get upset, or self-conscious about her weight, or her sexual behavior, because she’s confident in herself and accepts herself. Not only that, but she’s shown to take charge, stand up and not be afraid to call out what she sees is wrong. And outside of her character…

She was a role model for Paulo.  Unlike Jasmine whose relationship was more Paulo bending himself to fit her lifestyle, Rachel was a character who accepted and supported Paulo’s lifestyle, but at the same time helped steer him to do the right thing.  And in a comic where almost every fucking character is so intent on dancing around their issues and waiting until it blows up in their face, Rachel served as an example of someone who had it together.  A proactive person, who didn’t want to see these characters get worse.

I have ranted and gone off on a lot of decisions and actions that these characters have done, but not once did I ever scratch my head or think twice about something that Rachel did. Her character didn’t need a bunch of insight, and excuses about hormones or “they’re teenagers, lol!” to understand her.  She simply was who she was, and I respect that.

In short…

Despite everything that my history with this comic gave me, the feelings I developed from all the bullshit that has happened in this story, despite all of that.  It was this one character, what she brought to the table, and what she did for the comic and its characters, that gave me something I thought I’d long lost, and never thought I’d ever regain.

She gave me hope in this comic.  That it would finally have its characters be proactive, regain its humor, and bring itself out of the slump it made for itself.  With this character, and the writing behind her, I believed Taeshi was finally on the right track, and was setting up something great that would grow the characters and build upon them naturally.

But that’s not what we got. And the real bitch of it is, this could’ve been a real emotional moment. A well executed front-stab.  We knew it was coming, we saw the writing on the wall, but we still needed to face the music.  It was set up to be a wonderful tragedy, where both parties are well aware of the futility of their relationship.  They understand each other, and why it won’t work, but also don’t want to let go.  And I was going to make a comparison to Two Kinds, because they had a similar scenario with Trace’s wife and the whole idea of moving on is a recurring theme… But looking back I realized something.  I don’t need to bring a comparison to Two Kinds or someone else’s comic, and no I’m not even going to draw a comparison of what I would’ve done in this situation by drawing a comparison to False Idol’s future scene (although I was thinking about that).  No, we don’t need to look too far because you know what the real sad part about this is?

We’ve had this conversation before.

And just look at it. Look how heartbreaking this is.  This is how it should’ve been.  You see that Paulo understands what she’s saying, he knows what she means and how bittersweet their relationship is.  It is one of the best moments from the newer volumes, and their inevitable breakup should’ve been a turning point.  It should’ve marked a big life-changing moment for Paulo.  Where he is sad about how he’s making Rachel feel, but he’s unsure about his own feelings. Maybe Rachel makes the decision for him and breaks it off, and Paulo realizes how hurtful his behavior is, and that he can’t play games with people anymore, that it’s not fair.  It could be the moment Paulo turns a new leaf and becomes more mature, and in seeing that; Rachel can let go taking some solace in knowing that he is a better person now.

But instead we got this…

We’re not even halfway through this god damn chapter. Well where is it taking us now?

Huh…and it seems that the writing is not going to change pace either, I wonder where this is going.

Oh boy, everyone’s getting into teams!  And oh man, Lucy’s going up against Mike!  And boy is this contrived.  And what’s even worse, is that despite how much Taeshi has shunned Volume 1 and its stupid sense of humor, and how shoddy it was.  Volume 1 wasn’t THIS contrived, and when it was, it was pretty tongue in cheek about it.  In fact!

This sounds like something Volume 1 would MAKE FUN OF.  But let’s give the benefit of the doubt maybe it’s not that bad.  It might have something going on, an-

(It’s interesting, I think I have like 3 reaction pics of Sam trying to shoot herself, but this one just can not be matched.  And it’s not even meant for the rants.)

You know what?  I’m not even gonna bother going over this part. No one will be seated during the harrowing “Will they won’t they” inconsequential dodgeball fight. Although I will say,

Not gonna lie, that actually got a laugh out of me.  Good job. Anyway, Lucy catches the ball and wins the game who cares.  But then…

First of all

Look at those arms. Damn Lucy what happened?  You’re looking like two toothpicks in a marshmallow.   But more than that.  Did I read that right?

Yeah!  It’s not like you stopped practicing Martial Arts!  Why would you?  It’s not like you had some serious physical trauma happen to stop you-

OH WAIT!

RECOVERY PERIOD? PHYSICAL THERAPY?  PFFFT WHO THE FUCK NEEDS THAT?  YEAH SURE, YOU’RE TOTALLY FINE AND CAPABLE BEING A FUCKING BLACK BELT IN TAE KWON DO.  SURE!  NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE STITCHES AM I RIGHT?

But I’m just combing cotton here, this all just fluff.  There’s really only one thing left to talk about here.

And I’ll be honest.

This.

Is…

Pretty good.

This is honestly really well done.  There’s nothing I can say about this.  It’s a very serious moment, I can feel Taeshi reaching for my heartstrings but I…I’m okay with it.  This was the moment I wanted to see.  Finally these characters air out some of their grievances.  We get insight to how they feel, we are finally getting somewhere. It’s not nice, but it’s progress an-

…

THAT’S THE TH-….

*sigh*

Fuck you too, Taeshi.

Three times.

Three fucking times in one chapter, that you set up something good.  Had a good thing going, and then decided to fuck it up at the end. That’s a new record.  Even when I expected nothing out of this chapter, you manage to let me down.  You astound me with how much you disappoint me.  If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were doing it to intentionally troll me. But I’m not that vain.  Fuck you Taeshi, I’ve said this before but always with the tone of hyperbole, and a bit of optimistic cynicism.  But this time I really mean it.  I have no more faith in you as a writer.  Whatever you come up with, however this ride ends.  I don’t think you will pull it off anymore.  I don’t think you have the competence to tie this up in a proper way.  At one point you could’ve.  At one point, I think you had it in you with the mindset, the creativity, and the emotional drive to tell a well-crafted story.  But not anymore, and I despise what you’ve become.    Let’s get this stupid chapter over with.

What’s next?  What are we doing huh?  What are we getting at?

Oh…

I see.  This is where we’re going huh? That’s what all this was for?

ALRIGHT! Y’KNOW WHAT? FINE! I GUESS THIS IS WHAT WE’RE DOING BOYS!  THIS IS THE NEW DIRECTION FOR BCB!  LOOK! SHE CALLED PAULO CUTE! OMG THE SHIP IS SAILING, DON’T YOU GET IT?  IT’S JUST SHIPPING! THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS! THAT’S HOW WE’RE DRIVING THE PLOT!

FUCK ALL THAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, THIS IS WHY RACHEL GOT DROPPED!  IT WASN’T CAUSE OF CHARACTERS NATURALLY CONCLUDING RELATIONSHIPS, IT’S ALL BECAUSE LUCY’S HERE AND WE CAN’T HAVE PAULO’S RELATIONSHIP WITH RACHEL CLASH WITH THAT!  SHE’S OUTLIVED HER USEFULNESS! NOW IT’S ALL ABOUT PAULO X LUCY, OR PAULO X DAISY WHICH IS IT?  THIS IS THE REAL DRAMA YOU ALL ARE LOOKING FOR!  THIS IS HOW WE REALLY MOVE THE PLOT AND CHARACTERS!  CHOO CHOO BOYS!  ALL ABOARD THE SHIP!  LET’S JUST GO ALONG FOR THE RIDE WHERE WE GOING TAESHI?  I’M READY!  I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO FUCKING LOOK FORWARD TO OR LIVE FOR!  SO COME ON, WHERE ARE YOU SAILING US?

I give it a 2/10.  Until next time, guys. 

#Bittersweet Candy Bowl #rant

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 110: Onion Gang

“No more weirdo friends.”

There have been a handful of Steven Universe episodes that I only watched once, didn’t like, and didn’t watch again until reviewing them for this project. Time has been kind to many of them: I’ve come to appreciate Ronaldo (especially in Rising Tides, Crashing Skies, which I was super down on) as well as Say Uncle and The New Lars. I don’t necessarily love all these episodes now, but they’re a lot better than I once thought.

But yeah sometimes my first impression is right on the money.

Onion Gang is the most boring episode of the series by a country mile. The show has meandered before in the likes of Cat Fingers, Steven’s Lion, and Open Book, but these stories at least resolve in interesting ways. Looking forward, Escapism has even fewer words than Onion Gang, but it’s designed to simultaneously add to Steven’s many ordeals and act as the calm before the storm (and it’s also, y’know, watchable; silence can be a good thing, ask any episode of Samurai Jack). But Onion Gang is relentlessly uninteresting throughout.

The glacial pace isn’t helped by comedy bits falling flat at a rate that’s almost impressive. I try pretty hard to find things I like in episodes I don’t, but there’s literally nothing here for me. That is not easy. Especially considering how much of a sucker I am for Onion, slapstick, and weird goofy side adventures. This should be right up my alley, but hoo boy is it not.

Still, I’ll give it a try: the most generous reading of Onion Gang is that it focuses on Steven misunderstanding Onion, and if you squint, you can draw a parallel between his assumptions about Onion and his assumptions about Rose (both silent, mysterious figures in his life) being proven wrong. False narratives are a recurring theme in Steven’s arc, and another one pops up here. But even if that broadest of strokes is an intended connection, it doesn’t stop Onion Gang from being a catastrophe.

The only Onion Pal that leaves any impression is Garbanzo, and the impression is that Garbanzo is the worst character the show has ever produced. Villains like Kevin and Aquamarine are horrible, but that’s the point. Irritating secondary characters like Ronaldo and Lars have actual depth, and otherwise further the plot and are reliable for decent humor at times (it’s a shame that only one of them grows, but still). Garbanzo is a kid who shouts the word “Garbanzo” as if this is inherently amusing, and uh that’s it. The joke isn’t funny the first time, and doesn’t become funny through brute force repetition. It’s just annoying.

Squash, Soup, and Pinto are...there? They mostly exist for the gag of Steven naming all of them, a continuation of his unusually domineering presence in Onion Gang. Because oh yeah, on top of everything else this is a dreadful Steven episode. It’s not Sadie’s Song, because his presumptuous attitude doesn’t cause actual harm, but this is a bad look on a hero whose powers are supposed to be based on empathy. His narration of Onion’s actions mostly acts as another gag, and like Garbanzo, it’s not a funny one, but that doesn’t stop the episode from repeating it ad nauseam.

Steven’s weird behavior doesn’t stop there. The overlong go-kart scene ends with Steven seeing Garbanzo spray ketchup on himself, then instantly forgetting he saw this and openly wondering if Garbanzo is hurt. Which makes this the dumbest Steven has ever been. It makes zero sense that he would be bamboozled by something he saw faked with his own eyes, to the point where the gag itself becomes confusing: this would be like if he saw Amethyst eat his dinner then asked where his dinner went, it requires Steven’s intelligence to plummet so perilously that it confounds what we’re supposed to find funny about the joke in the first place.

But the most bizarre misfire by far is Steven declaring that he’s “the lonely boy with no friends his age” when Connie Maheswaran exists. She’s busy (as is the underused Peedee), but our hero makes the flying leap that this means he’s utterly friendless. This is a kid defined by his ability to make friends. He saves the ocean once and the planet twice by making friends. The entire show hinges on his fundamental friendliness. This plot point is ludicrous, even when we take into account that Steven is being annoyingly melodramatic.

A nitpick, but one that fuels the Ronaldo-level conspiracy theorist in me, is that Connie was prepping for school in Buddy’s Book and is attending school in Mindful Education, so if she’s shopping for school supplies in Onion Gang then either she’s doing it super late (which doesn’t sound like something she or her mother would ever allow) or this episode, which mind you is stated to take place as summer ends, should've aired between the two Connie episodes. The conspiracy theory is that Onion Gang would’ve looked even weaker when shoved between two episodes about what good friends Steven and Connie are, so it got moved to settle between two Crystal Gem stories.

I think that it’s theoretically possible to make a good episode that evokes unambiguous pathos from Onion. But considering the character works because he’s this strange, menacing force of nature in an otherwise pretty normal population of humans, I’m not sure he’s a character that needs the depth. Onion Friend hit a sweet spot of making him grow a little, but maintain his creepy charm. Onion Gang goes further, but in doing so removes everything interesting about Beach City’s resident weirdo. Gone is the kid who two episodes ago was robbing the arcade with a crowbar and a bandit mask. Here instead is an odd but sensitive kid whose mischievous friends somehow render him less mischievous than usual. It’s bad enough to have a boring episode, but a boring episode with Onion as the focus? Again, it’s almost impressive.

There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of any other Onion-centric episode if Onion is your jam. There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of any other Steven-centric episode barring Sadie’s Song if Steven is your jam. There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of rewatching Last One Out of Beach City if being charmed by friendship is your jam. There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of Buddy’s Book if thematic resonance in regards to false narratives is your jam. There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of any episode of Craig of the Creek if kids playing outside is your jam. Only watch Onion Gang if you’re a glutton for punishment.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Part of me wants to rank this higher than Fusion Cuisine and House Guest, where I find more insulting mischaracterizations. But both of those episodes have enjoyable elements that are weighed down by lousy depictions of Connie and Greg; Garnet’s a riot in the former, and there’s a sweet song in the latter despite being muddled by context. Whereas there are no real bright spots in Onion Gang. It’s an unbearable eleven minutes that I’m never going to watch again.

Sadie’s Song is worse because it’s the worst Steven episode in the series and it misses the mark so much, and it’s important to Sadie’s arc so it’s harder to skip, which makes me resent it more. Island Adventure is worse because its moral is that abuse is a reasonable method of communication. But that’s all that’s stopping Onion Gang from reaching the very bottom.

The good news is that this is it for my No Thanks list, and while I might’ve had a bit of fun dissecting why I dislike Onion Gang so much, it bears saying that 6 stinkers in 180 episodes and a movie ain’t shabby.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

#onion gang #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

[eddycurrents]

BPRD: 1947 - Chapter Three

Story: Mike Mignola & Joshua Dysart | Art: Gabriel Bá & Fabio Moon   | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in BPRD: 1947 #3 | September 2009

Collected in BPRD - Volume 13: 1947 | BPRD: 1946 - 1948

Plot Summary:

Stegner, Ruiz, and Russell become a tasty snack to the residents of the chateau. Meanwhile, at the gathering of vampires, Baron Konig is confronted by the others as to his actions and Hecate rises.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is in reference to the chapter itself and is not indicative of anything found in the issue or collections.)

pg. 1 - I find it funny at the beginning that the agents almost psych themselves out like a bunch of Ghost Adventurers.

pg. 2 - And after all that commotion the coffins are empty.

pg. 4 - Of course it’s not as simple as a couple of empty coffins. That the vampires attack as soon as the agents let their guard down is priceless. Gorgeous full-page spread from Bá, Moon, and Stewart.

pg. 5 - The action and chaos here is just incredible. It’s neat how a relatively slow, moody story suddenly turns into a bloodbath at the drop of a hat.

pg. 7 - Three inexperience vampire hunters against a swarm, you’ve got to feel sorry for them, even getting as far as they did.

pg. 8 - Gabriel’s death is pretty harrowing.

pg. 9 - Overall, a very impressive sequence, really changing the landscape of the present in the story.

pg. 10 - And we’re back to the Festival. I like the dimmer colour wash for these sequences. Also, the runes/script that the witches/whatever these women are invoking Hecate kind of look like Enochian.

pg. 13 - We’ve seen this kind of argument between vampires in fiction before, notably in 30 Days of Night and in the Vampire: The Masquerade role-playing game, of castes and clans of vampires fighting over whether or not they should make themselves known to humanity, but it’s interesting to see it here.

Also, other than just the neat designs of these vampire elders, I kind of like that there’s no explanation as to who they are. You want to learn more about them and their own stories, just from that exclusion.

pg. 14 - There’s definitely a Lucifer vibe to Baron Konig. Jealousy of humans and a wish to treat them like chattel. Between this story and 1946, he’s really hung up on Giurescu and Hitler. From a logical perspective, you’d think he’d make a better argument of the monstrosities that the Nazi experiments caused to vampirekind. 

pg. 15 - Instead he seems to approach humanity as an infestation. Which seems to go over with a resounding thud.

pg. 16 - Countess Ilona Kákosy is a vampire that we’ve met before (though later in the timeline), when Hellboy hunted her down in “The  Vârcolac“.

pg. 17 - None of the assembled vampire lords appear to be buying in to Konig’s pitch. Also, we’re left wondering whether Simon’s affliction is tied to what’s happening to Konig or the impending arrival of Hecate.

pg. 19 - I think it’s interesting as to how quickly Konig’s uprising is put down. Also, the sisters do seem to be doting still on Simon.

pg. 20 - And this reveal of Hecate is just awesome.

pg. 21 - Again, I like that there are no explanations here. The vampire gathering, including a confused goat and a giant dancing frog, are just whisked away. I like that the creative team are kind of just leaving it up to the imagination right now.

pg. 23 - Stegner checking in with Bruttenholm just seems grim.

pg. 24 - And we get another loss weighing heavy on the Professor.

Final Thoughts:

There appears to be a recurring theme emerging in these early BPRD stories that everyone dies. Horribly. In this one it happens even sooner in the series than in 1946, though there are a number of more loose ends here still to be sewn up in the next two chapters. 

I’d wager it’s partially meant to represent not only how dangerous the enemies are coming up against the Bureau, but in these early days everyone’s relatively untrained. They’re just military personnel transferred over to the Bureau to help fill out Bruttenholm’s manpower requests. Though the military does continue to be fodder into the present, it just goes to show you that you can’t brute force the supernatural antagonists, you’re going to die every time if you do.

You’d think it would make Bruttenholm reassess how and who he sends people out on missions, and give them a better understanding of the dangers and types of threats they’re going to come up against. Stegner, Ruiz, and Russell thought that their mission in France was a joke, and two of them paid for it with their lives.

d. emerson eddy wonders if he’d even be a tasty snack for a vampire. His blood has killed mosquitoes before. They’ve bitten him and he watched them fall from the sky dead.

#Give 'em Hellboy #Hellboy #BPRD #1947 #Mike Mignola #Joshua Dysart #Gabriel Bá #Fabio Moon #RaisingHellboy #129

[creepygamerpasta]

My Defense of Dear Evan Hansen

Okay, disclaimer: I wasn’t really into Dear Evan Hansen, so I don’t know the musical itself all too well (except of course, like everyone, “Sincerely, Me”). I recently read the novel of it (which was written by the creators, so I think the only difference is the fact that the prose doesn’t rhyme). I’m not a “day-one, die-hard fan,” and I do not have an obsession with it. That being said, I enjoyed the novel a lot. It’s not usually a genre I read, but it certainly piqued my interest for YA mental health novels. 

Why, then, do people hate it?

I’ve looked online for this answer, and I’ve been able to find some recurring arguments, which are quite valid even if you don’t agree. (Not everyone has to like the same things, I know.) So, here are my responses and counter-arguments. (Note, contains spoilers, and I won’t necessarily outright disagree with everything.)

1. The fanbase is annoying, toxic, etc.

This is probably the easiest to get out of the way. Yes, there will always be people within a fanbase whose entire lives revolve around their fandom. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; who can fault you for being passionate about something? But it’s when that passion turns into hate or putting someone else’s tastes or general completely down because that person doesn’t like exactly what the fan likes when people get really angry. I’ll use an unrelated scenario to DEH as an example:

Person A: Do you like Taylor Swift?

Me: Eh, I’m not really into her music. I’m more into metal and stuff.

Person A: Oh, okay, cool. :)

Person B: OMG WTF stop being a HATER. Metal SUCKS. You’re just JEALOUS that she has TALENT.

...See? This is the same sort of reactions that people get, not just from DEH fans but from all sorts of fans. (I’ve gotten both of these exact reactions from various fans of different singers, actors, celebrities, movies, TV shows, etc.)

2. The musical is not that great, as in the scores and stuff.

I don’t see why this particularly angers people. I see this more as an evolution of the types of music in musicals. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here, but musicals exist for people to want to see them. And if the target audience is the younger generation, then it does not make sense to use music that most of them A) won’t like and B) won’t understand. I mean, Hamilton is known for its use of rap, (dare I say) “nontraditional” music in the theatre world. And people like it. 

Which brings me to the next point...

3. Young people (who obviously cannot have appreciation for true theatre) will expect musicals like Hamilton and Dear Evan Hansen to become the norm and for there to be a “big” musical every year.

...okay? So? Look, if people want to go to a musical, then they’ll go. If they want to go to another musical, then they’ll go to that one. It’s not rocket science. And as for this sometimes-unspoken assumption that young people can’t understand/appreciate theatre... Last time I checked, there were still theatre kids in schools across the country, so at least some people can.

And now, we go to the part of the defense where I rely more on the novel.

4. The main character (Evan) is neither compelling nor a good person, and thus, should not be the main character (and, by extension, the entire musical should not exist).

In the book, it is made very clear that Evan is not a perfect character. He’s a human being and has flaws just like everyone. His whole “pretending to be Connor’s friend thing” is less a manipulative move and more of “wrong place, wrong time, and I don’t know how to explain.” Though he’s supposed to be relatable, you are not expected to like him. Other characters question his motives for The Connor Project and his relationship to Connor, but with the first person, inner-thoughts, deepest-darkest-secrets style that the book has, it is very clear that Evan is (in his complex way) trying to help the Murphys with their loss. He does get a bit carried away, probably without realizing it, but even though he did not mean to hurt them, the guilt of his lies eats away at him the entire book.

Evan admits to lying, in person at the Murhpys. He knows that even though his longtime crush and now girlfriend (he even describes her as his soulmate and wants to marry her) will hate him, not to mention her parents, he cannot keep lying to them. 

I think one of the problems with DEH specific to this problem is the hype about Evan himself. As the audience, we want to paint Evan as a hero. Descriptions put him in that light. He does overcome a lot through the novel and goes through quite a bit of change, but he is not the flawless hero (or the one-flaw antihero) people want him to be. He is a human being, and I think fans and haters forget this or overlook this, despite it being such an important part of the novel/musical.

5. DEH makes fun of mental illness and doesn’t take it seriously. It falsely portrays people with depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, etc.

This grinds a lot of my gears. Mental illnesses are different for everyone. Is there some assumption people have that I’m not aware of? The assumption that people actually think that everyone who has anxiety or is suicidal will act exactly like Evan and Connor? It might not match up with every individual’s experience/struggle with a mental illness, but that’s kind of one of the themes of DEH: that people have different lives, different struggles, different baggage, and different ways of coping, healthy or unhealthy. Everyone has a different story, and no one should be left to deal while feeling alone. Pay attention to those around you.

The lighter-hearted music seems to also make people perceive DEH to be making fun of/not taking mental health seriously. Which is ridiculous. There are some serious songs in that soundtrack, and the upbeat “Sincerely, Me” is supposed to be from fake personas. Connor’s persona in that song is supposed to be feeling better as days go by with the help of his “friend” Evan. So, yes, it makes sense that would be cheerful because it is not from the perspective of the real Connor. If it were, the song would probably be a lot darker.

6. The musical is homophobic and makes fun of the LGBT+ community.

If you were to walk into an elementary, middle, or high school right now and overhear every conversation, I gaurantee you, gaurantee you, that some students would be using “gay” as some sort of put-down or otherwise make fun of LGBT+ people. That doesn’t mean it’s right or acceptable, but having two high school guys (or really one, seeing as how Evan does not go along with the joke) make remarks about two (supposedly) close guys being gay is not something new. This complaint probably mainly comes from the line in “Sincerely, Me” in which Connor’s and Evan’s personas deny being close for anything other than friendship. And honestly? As a member of the LGBT+ community, this confusion comes up a lot. Whether you are out or not, closeness between friends is often interpreted as a romantic or sexual relationship, which of course is not the case. 

Last time I checked, there wasn’t anything hateful toward the LGBT+ community. Jared’s jokes, while horribly sexual and inappropriate, were just immature. His jokes are essentially the high school equivalent of “That’s what she said.” I mean, who doesn’t know someone like that in their life? If I’m wrong, feel free to correct me.

Oh, and also? It is revealed in the novel that Connor did in fact have a relationship with a guy, Miguel.

7. People talk about the relatability of the musical without actually relating.

Okay, yes, annoying, but I don’t see why people should immediately fault this. You do not know the experiences or thoughts of people online and on social media, but this means that you can’t judge whether or not they do relate to something. The first thing that comes to mind with the word “relatable” when it comes to this musical would, of course, be mental health. Since the most notable characters both struggle with mental illnesses, it makes sense that you would expect the people who relate to this musical to also struggle with mental illness(es). But there is no law that everyone who relates to a character has to be exactly like that character. 

I’ll use another example from a different work, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. (Quick little note: Frankenstein is the scientist, not the creature. The Creature is actually quite complex and a deep character that is not the mindless monster from movies.)

Frankenstein: wealthy, a genius, comes from a high(ish) class, (presumably) handsome

Creature: neglected, hated for his ugliness, abandoned by Frankenstein, feared, smart

I doubt anyone was stitched together from dead bodies and then somehow reanimated. But you might relate to the fact that the Creature was abandoned or that people fear and hate him because of his looks. I also doubt that anyone has figured out the secret to reanimating dead bodies after taking them apart and stitching them together. But you might also (or solely) relate to Frankenstein because he lost his mother or because he feels responsible for a family member’s death. Those are some examples.

And there are plenty of characters that you could relate to or aspects of characters that speak to you. Maybe you’ve built a tangle of lies like Evan without meaning to, or maybe you have gone through a hard divorce and try so hard to get through to your child without success like Heidi, or maybe you really care about making a difference and don’t feel like the people who are supposed to help you take that seriously like Alana.

That about wraps it up. If I’ve missed anything, feel free to tell me, and I’ll make a follow-up post. 

Again, I’m not demanding that you agree with me, but hopefully, whether a fan or critic, you have now seen a different perspective.

#dear evan hansen #evan hansen #connor murphy #musicals #spoilers #please reply

[fandoms-and-flute]

A music school rant on professionalism

Music school rant time If you're going to school for music whether you're doing a performance or an education degree there's a level of professionalism that should exist - in the most basic phrasing 'it shouldn't be high school part 2'. Recently, I've seen my school become the embodiment of what feels like a horrible mix of high school cliques with handfuls of stale memes. Like yes, music school should be fun and meme culture is great, but when you LIVE it that's really depressing. Two things really made me aware of how much people just don't care anymore: 1. We have this thing called Assembly - it's pretty redundant the longer you've been at the school, but when people ruin the experience for others I think is just a bad environment. For example, today we had an assembly on mental health resources and it was one big joke within the community. I find that horrifying because these are future music educators... Like what do you plan doing when a student comes up to you with some really heavy shit? And the performers, do you not realize that life is shit and you should take care of yourselves (I saw this post/comic strip about how we praise doing destructive things like "person 1: I practiced for 5 hours today, person 2: well I practiced for 23 hours today AND didn't sleep, and then person two collapses and people clap"). Like yes, memes are great, but take some time to be professional and think about others not just yourself. And 2. We have a couple of bands, and the "lowest" band recently was lectured for pre-gaming before rehearsal.... As in music majors not wanting to be sober in rehearsal to collaborate with others in order to what? Like what do you gain from this and what do those around them gain? This is my last semester here, but I am SO DISAPPOINTED in what I am seeing. I know some people from the university have found my tumblr, and if any of those people see this - are you doing what you need to do to help your future self? I'm genuinely concerned that by the time I get/finish my Masters people will look down at my Bachelors degree because of the people that are coming out of the program. I've found myself seeing a lot of shit this semester and the recurring theme is just: Be better.

#musicblr #music school #music major #k313 #collegelyfe

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6x11 “The Therapist” Review

Since Season 1, Jake’s refusal to go to therapy (and even outright dismissal of the validity of therapy), despite the obvious lingering issues he has from being abandoned by his father as a kid, has been a recurring theme. In “The Therapist”, all of this finally comes to a head, as Jake comes to terms with why he’s been so resistant to receiving help for some of his past trauma.

For the most part, this episode handles the topic of mental health well; both Terry and Charles talk about how they regularly go to therapy, and Terry is astounded that Jake has never sought out a therapist after everything he’s been through. (To recap: Terry brings up how Jake was shot by Amy, held at gunpoint and forced to write his own suicide note by his ex-girlfriend’s ex-boss, sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit, and joined and gang and tried meth while at said prison. And that’s not even mentioning the time Jake spent in the mafia, or in witpro in Florida, or all the other traumatic stuff he’s exposed to just by being a cop.)

And although the episode does talk mental health — something EP Dan Goor promised they would do if the right opportunity presented itself — it’s not even the primary focus; the episode’s main plot revolves around a potential murder, after a therapist, Dr. William Tate calls in to say one of his patients, Susan Buckley has gone missing, and he’s worried her husband killed her after he received a worrying call from him.

Susan’s husband, James, mentioned doing something horrible to his wife in a park so that’s where Jake and Charles head, with Dr. Tate in tow. Jake’s hostility towards therapists is on display right from the start, as he compares the doctor to Hannibal and reacts angrily towards Dr. Tate’s mild questions. To Jake’s relief, Charles finds a body in the bushes, putting his conversation with the therapist on hold.

Now that they’ve found the victim, it’s time to track down her suspected killer. The search takes them to the couple’s apartment, which is unlocked, empty, and devoid of anything suspicious except for strange contemporary artwork featuring Jesus. Jake becomes suspicious of Dr. Tate when he’s able to immediately point out the location of a bathroom in an apartment he’s supposedly never been in before (in New York, the location of the bathroom is never obvious) but Charles just thinks Jake is letting his bias towards therapists get in the way of his detective instincts.

(Personally, I was fully on Jake’s side; I was suspicious of Dr. Tate ever since Jake mentioned that the only DNA found at the scene of the crime was of the three of them who discovered the body.)

After promising Charles he won’t go behind his back and break into the therapist’s office Jake...does exactly that. His misconduct (did he even stop to get a warrant?) pays off when he finds a notebook hidden in a filing cabinet filled with information about the dead woman and her currently missing husband.

Dr. Tate returns to the office as Jake is trying to sneak out and he finds himself taking refuge in a different therapist’s office to avoid being seen. Once there, he ends up pretending to be a man with multiple personality disorder (or dissociative identity disorder, as it’s more properly known) while he waits for Dr. Tate to leave.

This was the only part of the episode I felt weird about; while I feel like this bit was a chance to showcase Andy Samberg’s notoriously bad skill at accents, it came across as...disrespectful towards an actual mental illness, when this show usually has such nuance navigating around these topics. Since I don’t know much about dissociative identity disorder I’ll leave it at that but I feel like it could have been handled better.

Jake finally makes it back to his car, where he’s surprised by Dr. Tate, who’s been hiding in his backseat with a gun. The therapist admits to not only killing Susan but her husband as well, along with another couple several years back; in order to stall him, Jake ends up opening up about his problems with therapy: he’d gone to family counselling with his parents when he was a kid because he was acting up in class, but the sessions only brought attention to his parents’ problems, which eventually led to their divorce.

Jake blaming himself for his dad leaving makes a ton of sense not just in the context of this episode but in the context of the entire series, making it one of those well-earned reveals that’s less of a surprise to the audience than it is to Jake himself. I’m glad he had a breakthrough, and if he does choose to go forward with therapy sessions in the future I hope that���s something the show continues to address.

Before Dr. Tate can kill Jake, Charles shows up — Jake had managed to text him his location without looking at his phone. Kind of. (Actually he texted Amy a string of random characters, who forwarded the message onto Charles, who used “find my phone” to figure out Jake’s location.) So Jake got a free therapy session from a murderer who they have now successfully apprehended, win-win!

Back at the precinct, Captain Holt finds out the rest of the squad has already met Jocelyn, Rosa’s girlfriend — albeit unintentionally — and invites Rosa to bring her to dinner with him and Kevin on the weekend.

Can we talk for a moment about how far the relationship between these two has come? Going all the way back to Season 2 when Kevin wanted to have Rosa and her then-boyfriend, Marcus, over for dinner and Holt and Rosa conspired to stop their lives from becoming too entangled. Since then, the two have become a lot closer: Holt was one of the first people Rosa allowed herself to become vulnerable with when she went to him for advice during her breakup with Marcus; he convinced Rosa of her place within the Nine-Nine family when she tried to run away to Argentina; and he provides her with support, love, and understanding as the only other (out) LGBTQ+ cop in the precinct.

Rosa turns down Captain Holt’s request to have her and Jocelyn over for dinner, but not because she’s worried such an event will bring them uncomfortably close, as she was in Season 2. Now it’s because they are close, and her captain’s opinion matters so much that she’s afraid he won’t like her new girlfriend.

Rosa’s so worried about this that she goes to lengths to introduce Captain Holt to an actress she hired to play Jocelyn, so that she can gauge his reaction; when Holt realizes what’s going on, he’s understandably upset. While he thinks the reason Rosa won’t introduce him to Jocelyn is because she’s not as close to him as she is to the rest of the squad, it’s the opposite that’s actually true.

Captain Holt — and the audience — get a chance to meet Jocelyn for real, when she appears in the precinct break room and introduces herself to Holt through a bad joke that instantly endeared me to her. I don’t know if Jocelyn is Rosa’s forever-girl, but I hope she sticks around for a while.

Footnotes:

Two episodes in a row now that Charles has mentioned doing couples activities with his dad. I realize his dad is going through a breakup, but what happened to Genevieve?! I miss her.

“It’s just that sometimes you can be...judgemental.” “What a stupid thing to say.” Never change, Captain Holt.

Holt’s conversation with Kevin about rice is adorable, when can Marc Evan Jackson guest star on the show again?

“Mentally ill people are much more likely to be the victims than the perpetrators” was a really nice line for them to just throw in there.

Charles’ tendency to be unconsciously sexual is one of my favourite things about him, please don’t take that away.

It was nice to get confirmation that Scully and Cindy Shatz are still going strong.

The brief kiss between Rosa and Jocelyn was the first kiss between a same-sex couple on this show (still waiting on Holt and Kevin); not only that, but it was a kiss between two LGBTQ+ characters portrayed by two LGBTQ+ actresses, which I think is pretty cool.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs Thursdays at 9/8c on NBC.

Sam’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #The Therapist #Mental Health #LGBTQ+ Characters

[gotgifsandmusings]

Quick asks roundup

I’m going out of town this afternoon for labor dabor, and probably won’t be around much during the weekend. Thought I’d answer a few asks below--just a grab bag, with a vague focus on S7. Should be able to do a video one of these next week, and Julia and I are eyeing a UBS podcast episode pretty soon too.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: Have you read David Benioff's book City of Thieves? I'm curious how it compares to GoT.

I haven’t, no. I’m not sure if that’s something I want to subject myself to (it has been mostly positively received from what I know, though not across the board) when there’s so much I’ve been putting off reading as it is.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: Is cerseï pregananant in the boox?

She’s actually gregnant.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: Just read your criticism about Fair Game and wholeheartedly agree. You touched on the core of why your (and Julia's and Caroline's and Jess' and Turtle's) GoT analysis are so great: they understand the intersection of narrative flaws and social issues. Sure, some people may complain that they don't want "SJW" stuff, except, y'know, you don't stop being a feminist when you write a review. As you say, media is not produced in a cultural vacuum. Sadly, I admit I feel reluctant to...... Actively criticize GoT with people around me because the ones who dislike it also dislike ASOIAF and fantasy/sci-fi ("The show is bad because GRRM is a bad writer who isn't really character-driven, but it's not surprising since genre stuff is awful"). That sucks :(

Yes, exactly! This is in reference to this piece by myself and Julia, btw. That’s really depressing about that perception of genre fic, especially given what Martin does being so unique. I’ve never particularly understood that attitude; I want to read about cool places and stuff happening as much as I want to read about weighty character journeys, and why scoff at any that pull off both? Though Julia has a piece on that too. 

But absolutely, as we said, it’s asinine to ignore the ways culture shapes media and vice versa, and often the reason the writing is so poor is because it’s so sensationalist or reliant on shitty tropes and stereotypes. “Just enjoy it (or critique) without focusing on social issues” is the ultimate sign of privilege, and it drives me crazy because it’s tossed out as an appeal to “objectivity.” IF YOU’RE IGNORING PEOPLE’S EXPERIENCES YOU’RE ALREADY NOT BEING OBJECTIVE.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: I'm curious why you guys interpret Cersei's internalized misogyny as nothing to do with gender dysphoria. All because Cersei doesn't break down during her period doesn't mean you must read her as cisgendered. She treats femininity like her least-favorite subject in school, not like part of herself. You're welcome to read her story as about women internalizing misogyny, but her thoughts feel familiarly trans, and outright denying that reading closer-to-earths her

This is really interesting, and my assumption would definitely a result of my own distance with that experience. Are there any metas on it? I haven’t really considered this before (I’ve seen the case argued for Brienne), and I’m not very convinced Martin had much intentionality here, but that’s a reading of her character I’d definitely like to learn/think more about.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: How can Euron "Crow's Eye, Terror of Pentos" Greyjoy come across as such a wimpy villain that I'm missing Ramsay? Hell, effing Joffrey could have torn that cuddly pooh bear a new one.

But...he’s the storm. You weren’t quaking in your boots when his fleet armada magically descended on Yara’s?

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: I haven't seen anyone else comment on this, but did you notice Cheryl says "You expect me to command our troops to fight beside foreign scum?" almost immediately before telling Jaime she's bringing the foreign Golden Company from Essos to fight beside their troops? Do you think the writers ever make it to second drafts or do they just knock out the first on the back of a Hooters napkin over Natty Ices and fist bumps and say, nah, we're good bro?

A showpologist would tell you it’s clearly demonstrating what a horrible hypocrite she is and actually rather cutting commentary.

It’s really, really hard for me to imagine a world where Operation Capture a Wight received a look-over. A whole lot of what they do feels thoroughly unedited.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: Hey, I really appreciate all your GoT analysis. 1) Is Cheryl's assistant actually Ezri Dax? 2) Did you see Linda's episode review where she called D&D "smug idiots?" 3) Is it possible to enjoy GoT as schlock? I can't and don't, but It is certainly bad enough and dumb enough. Thanks!

Thank you :)

1) According to wikipedia, Ezri Dax’s actor is currently starring in “Corrupt aka Trust No One” and “Where’s my Baby”, but I’m glad you made me look her up, because the resemblance there is quite uncanny. The maid is played by Sara Dylan, and has actually been a consistent, recurring character since Season 2. Apparently her name is “Bernadette” because why not.

2) Was it her newest review? I do listen to those in the background of work when I’m doing spreadsheet kind of stuff, so I may not have caught that exact phrase, but I did hear the part where she basically said “just don’t even bother writing a plot. Only write battles because everything else is terrible.”

3) I mean, the people enjoying GoT are watching schlock, so it must be possible. I happen to think the ardent defenders/honeypotters aren’t the majority, and most people turn it on to watch dragons for 60 minutes, then talk about how cool the dragons looked the next day at work. It’s just that GoT comes with a stamp of “SMART ADULT SHOW” for reasons that will never cease to amaze me. So yeah, totally, but for me, I have a hard time enjoying something when the more you think about it, the worse it gets.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: I would bet my right hand that someone in the GoT writers' room probably rewatched season 1 which is why there's so many callbacks to it like Arya's "that's not you", Dany's infertility, Bran's "I told you not to trust me", etc etc. Like it just seems so obvious that they realized they ran out of content and decided to just revisit past seasons to make themselves seem smart and like they planned ahead so much.

Oh 100%. Season 1 was this year’s Lord of the Rings, which they had obviously binged before last year. I love it because then all the critics are like, “ohh my god it’s so well-planned and deep.” But no. It’s essentially grinning into the camera going “remember when?”, completely on par with Gendry’s boat joke.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: The writers gave up 3 seasons ago, but it feels like no one was really trying this year. The cast looked bored. The wigs were trash: Dany's fire-proof wig is also boatsex-proof and freezing wind-proof. The costumes were either too anachronistic for a so-called prestiege Medievalesque Drama or straight up uninspired: Cersei's modern office wear, Dany and LF are shopping at the same department store, Lyanna S dressed up for a college roman-themed party. I guess the special effects were ok.

I’m very, very hesitant to call out costuming because I know Michele Clapton is like, making up these immaculate honeypots and ordering the finest fabrics from Lithuania to pull everything together. But...yeah, as a viewer everything was kind of clearly ridiculous (Euron’s jacket), and EVERYTHING WAS BLACK with the exception of Deadpan’s coat, that was, I’m sorry, objectively hideous. The reason people fawned over it was because it was actually contrasting the blah they had been seeing all season.

As for the cast, I mean...I think these guys are decent actors who get into their roles when they can. But who could get into anything happening at this point? Stuff happens, don’t question it. The directing was probably fine (I don’t know enough about that stuff), but when the script is fundamentally lazy and uninspired, it’s going to bleed into everything.

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: (Regarding episode 7) So the only leak that didn't come true was "Cersei's" bed of blood prediction and I'm wondering if she'll miscarry next season because morally evil incest women like Cheryl don't deserve babies while morally good (with the help of our friendzoned Saint T🙏) incest women like Deadpan get to conquer infertility and birth a Targ with the help of Jonny Cardboard's magic seed. That would be one boring Aegon 2(3?) infant. Thoughts?

Honestly, I can’t make heads or tails of why she was even pregnant. Larry didn’t need that to stay on her side at all, and the only thing I can think was that it added an extra TWIST for us. Haha, viewer! You thought she might have actually wanted to fight the threat because of her unborn kid and how many times we’ve told you her only redeeming quality is her motherhood, but now she’s EVHUL and even idealized motherhood can’t save her!

I guess it’s...kind of trope busting?

I kind of agree though, I don’t see them letting a BAD woman give birth and mother. At the same time, I don’t see how enough time can even pass where this would be a relevant plot-point to anything. So...I just, I don’t get it. I’ve gotta figure out how to structure my sexism & s7 analysis, and going back and revisiting Cheryl is probably going to be one of the most confused parts of it. I see many paths for how this unfolds, and none of them are really too promising.

Alrighty, gotta cut it here for today. Everyone have a safe labor day weekend (I guess there’s no heightened risk for non-Americans, but a safe weekend all the same), and I’ll talk to you guys later!

#asks #ask roundup

[legendofgrump]

How about all odds for Adara and all evens for Balthazar? I know you said you wanna develop them a whole lot, so hopefully that's not too many

holy shit this is gonna take dedication, but I’m so up for the challenge just you wait. This one is obviously going under a cut. You’ll find out quickly that I’ve worked out more for Adara than for Balthazar but shhhhhh

Okay this is super long so I’m gonna do Balthazar’s questions in a separate post just bear with me.

Adara

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?Yeah! Adara has an older sister, Jaya, and a younger brother, Dean. They’re actually probably closer with Dean because there’s some bitterness between Adara and Jaya. Adara was given their powers by a witch because they were supposed to protect the village from a Dark Evil, but actually Jaya was the one that was supposed to protect the village, but she went off on her own for a Big Adventure and skipped out on getting the powers and Adara kind of resents her for it.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?I answered this one!

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?A hunting knife, various berries or roots in case they can’t find food, small amounts of bandages, and sometimes pocket change if they’re lucky.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?Ironically, Adara’s nightmares are typically fire related. Fires burning entire forests down, etc. Either that or the day their village was ransacked and destroyed by The Beast That I Haven’t Named Yet that they were meant to protect everyone from and totally failed

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?Yeah, Adara was basically a comfortable middle class growing up and now they’re lucky if they have any money on them ever. But they don’t typically seek out money unless they need it so its livable.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?When The Beast came to their village and everyone was counting on them to protect the village and they couldn’t bring themselves to fight it because they were so scared. They absolutely chickened out and had to run away because they were afraid of dying, but of course that resulted in their entire village, including their family, dying a horrible death.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?Not unless its coming out of someone they care about in an excessive amount. Otherwise it’s just another bland sight.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?No, not particularly, but that’s because they were raised pretty humble and also beggars can’t be choosers, y’know.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?Their dad made them a little tambourine that they loved to bang around while their dad played guitar! It was like being part of the music and they loved it! Though they weren’t very talented with it haha

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?They have this impression that they’re going to have the person they care about torn from them again (and that it’ll be their fault again) so they tend to just avoid relationships in general.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?Adara doesn’t blame anyone except for themselves. They were literally being preened to save the entire village and they failed so they can’t really blame anyone but themselves for that. But they do have a little resentment for Jaya since Jaya was supposed to be the one to do it and they think Jaya could have actually saved everyone.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?If they’re condescending or needlessly bossy. Adara doesn’t really take well to authority.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?Adara isn’t particularly untrusting. They believe in the benefit of the doubt unless you give them a reason to believe otherwise. But they’re also not dumb and very instinctual so if someone gives off a bad vibe, they’ll be very closed off toward the person.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?Now they try their best to fight back and stand strong against confrontation. They’ve been training themselves ever since they left their destroyed village to make sure what happened before never happened again, so they’re much more prepared now. Though they will still have trouble remaining confident if it seems like they’re really outmatched.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?They wanted to be a parent! They really wanted to start a family of their own and have children and people that they cared about! But that didn’t really pan out and it’ll probably be a while before it ever happens. They also wanted to work with animals, which they sometimes get to ride horses and they’ll occasionally rescue birds or squirrels that were hurt but that wasn’t really the plan.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.I mean they’d be most comfortable with their family, but seeing as that’s not really a thing, I’ll be a little more realistic. The most comfort they can find as they are right now is curled up in a tree, having checked everything to make sure that they’re safe to survive the night, belly satisfyingly full, and a solid plan for the next day. They can snooze with little to no paranoia attacking them.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?I mean if it’s honest criticism and they trust the person it’s coming from, then they’ll totally be willing to improve. They desperately want to be the best they can, if only to imagine that they’d make their parents proud.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?Comfortably. They’re a little silly and playful and enjoy cracking jokes. They’re a little affectionate with like claps on the back or putting themselves in front of the person to protect them. They’re very protective of people they care about, that’s for sure.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?Defending their honor, I think? But also they don’t see themselves as having much honor because of their past. They think of themselves kind of lowly and they don’t particularly have any status either. But they’d protect their honor over just trying to stay in power or anything.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?Yeah, I mean, squirrels don’t particularly like being picked up, especially when they’re wounded, so a couple times. They’re lucky to have never contracted rabies. But they usually just ignore it in favor of fixing whatever wound the animal has and that’ll usually get the animal’s trust.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?Adara is very much an “earn it” kind of person. Especially since they think they’re kind of working with a deficit of “deserving” anything, so they have to work to bring themselves to just bare minimum (in their mind). They hate the idea of things just being handed out to people.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?I’m not totally sure if this means someone that’s dependent on them or that they depend on. But Adara got their powers and trained with a witch that they called “Auntie” for the longest time because the two were really close.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?They believe in a Sky God to an extent (they were raised on it, but they kinda gave up believing it after tragedy befell them). And the deal is basically you either join the Sky God or fall from the sky after you die and just fall for all eternity, which is suffering in itself (it’s useful to know that this entire land exists on floating islands, so there’s just abyss beneath them basically). Adara believes they’re probably going to fall because of how they let everyone down, but they’re also very hard on themselves. It doesn’t really scare them, they’ve kind of come to terms with it, but they’re not exactly excited about it.

#ask meme #my ocs #cantolopejeevas #ask

[suckitsurveys]

Lot’s of long answers in this one sorry not sorry.

1. Do you like zombie movies? Nah, I’m not into the whole zombie thing. <--Same. I do like Zombieland though.

2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? Used condoms. 

3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? I use a lot of paper towels.

4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? I’m not sure. 

5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen? I HATE the whole “fighting is healthy” mentality. Yes, bickering is fine, but if you’re fighting all the time, that is not a healthy relationship AT ALL. If your partner is screaming and yelling you on a regular basis, that is borderline emotional abuse. 

6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? I haven’t. And definitely not, I hate hospitals. 

7. What was your worst Halloween costume? All of my costumes have been pretty awesome. I was Lucy from Lucy, Daughter of the Devil one year and no one got it, but I still had fun with it.

8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class? Eh. 

9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? I’ll let you know when that happens. 

10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? Yeah. It’s kinda hard to talk about, but about 7 years ago my mother accidentally took her meds twice in the morning and she was completely out of it while opening presents. I got her a really nice chalkboard that she had wanted and she opened it and literally looked at it, said nothing, and put it down to open the next present, pretty much repeating what she did with mine. And when she did say stuff she was very incoherent. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch. 

11. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? There are some Batman ones that were mine at my dad’s still. 

12. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yes. My ex gave me a kitten like 2 weeks before we broke up. The cat was also born to a wild cat that his friends fed but didn’t house, so the cat was, well, wild. He would scratch and bite me in my sleep and probably had worms. And I was too depressed after being dumped to deal with the kitten and I felt SO horrible but I had to give him to a shelter. I really hope that kitty has a good home now. 

13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? Oh man, I don’t know. Probably like loaded cheese fries or something. Or a fried Oreo. 

14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah, I pretended a lotttttt. One of the biggest things I did was make cars in my dining room by setting up our chairs. I’d pretend to go on road trips with my dolls. 

15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks? I’m not a huge fan but I don’t mind them. I’d rather them be firm.

16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Yeah, my 7th grade math teacher was a JOKE. 

17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? Maybe Facebook? 

18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? I’ve definitely been in some online ones that I didn’t tell them about. 

19. How much do you know about first aid? Not very much oops. 

20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Hmm. Good question. The magic of Facebook has changed this dynamic recently. I used to not know anything about some of my second cousins but I have a lot of them on FB now, so I know at least a little about them. Maybe some of the family I have in TN?

21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yeah. It was nice I guess? I supposed I do my own forms of meditating now, like relaxing in the tub or enjoying being outside. 

22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you? Yeah.

23. Have you ever used a view-master? Yeah!

24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows? Sometimes I’ll listen to NPR, and my favorite segments on that station are Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and This American Life. 

25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Oh it’s been a while. I’m hoping I can catch one this summer with my niece because she’d love that. We’ve gotten ice cream from one of those bicycle cooler things before and she thought it was so neat. 

26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now? I don’t pay attention to that, haha. I do know Die Antwoord is going to break up at the end of the year or already did or something. Like I said, I have no idea about those things. 

27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? I did. She seemed to enjoy it. 

28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? Hmm. I can’t think of anything. Maybe my architecture final? That I did pass. 

29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Squirrels, birds, bunnies, raccoons, and unfortunately skunks. 

30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, we’ve cooked potatoes and corn in a fire before. And also hot dogs. Oh and beans one time too. 

31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? Hmm. Mark’s night stand is currently a storage box. 

32. What do you hope the afterlife is like? I don’t know if I believe in that or not. 

33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? One of the kids at the daycare my sister owns used to communicate displeasure well into his toddler years by SCREAMING and refusing to move. Like would stiffen up and just scream. He was a terror and my sister could not get him adjusted no matter what she tried, and the parents didn’t want to listen either. 

34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? Maybe little things as a kid. Like one time I was hanging out with my sister when I was about 9 or 10 and she was 18 ish, and then all of a sudden her boyfriend came over and they deserted me. They ordered Chinese food for just them and while they were upstairs, I poured an insane amount of garlic powder in it. But the joke ended up being on me because my sister then offered the leftovers to me. Haha. 

35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? I mean, we enjoy doing things together, definitely. My dad and I go to Cubs games and watch movies and go out to eat together a lot. He also likes going on trips and so do I. But he’s definitely a lot more interested in music than I am. And golfing. When my mom was alive we enjoyed shopping together, and she liked trips and movies as well. She also collected antiques, which isn’t something I’m super interested in, but I do appreciate them. 

36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older? Both. 

37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended? My sister’s wedding was basically one big reception in my dad’s backyard. It was SUPER laid back; there was a small ceremony and then afterwords we had a taco bar and my sister grilled the steak herself in her wedding dress. I loved that part haha. We also had my dad’s friend’s band play and my dad also got up and played a few songs on his guitar as well. Everyone just danced and laughed and had a really great time. It was really fun, despite who she was marrying, haha. 

38. Do you have any physical photo albums? There are a TON at my dad’s house. 

39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? Eh. 

40. Who was the worst friend you ever had? Aside from lil pre-teen jackasses in middle school, my ex friend Jessica. She was SO into herself she never asked me how I was doing and she thought she was a really good signer and definitely wasn’t. She also pulled some bullshit when my ex and his best friend tried to break Mark and I up early in our relationship. Long story short, when I told her what happened she was like “I’m not going to take sides” (my ex’s best friend was her bf’s brother). UM that situation was definitely something you should take sides in, especially when it happened to your supposed best friend. I stopped talking to her that day. 

41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made? Staying at home longer than I wanted to. I did it so my dad wouldn’t be lonely. I was on track to moving out when my mother passed away and then I felt like I needed to/wanted to stay with him and it ended up being a few more years before I moved out on my own (with Mark).

42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active roll in an election? Eh. 

43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? Oh man I cannot think right now. I’m sure there have been a few things I’ve given my niece. The only thing I can think of right now is my Barbie collection, even though they are still at my dads and she only plays with them there. They will eventually become hers fully though. OH! The coolest hand-me-down I ever got was my sister’s old room in our parent’s home when she moved out. It was painted blue top to bottom and had a KILLER walk in closet. 

44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? My dad’s mother is my only living grandparent and they bicker A LOT. I think he might harbor some of the same resentment I do against her for treating my mother so horrible when she was alive. And that he’s on his way to retirement but now has to take care of her. And now on his own since I moved out, which I feel super guilty about but that’s a story for another day. This survey is over and I need to sleep. 

#surveys