#incorrect snowpiercer recap

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 1, episode 8: You're a Filthy Liar

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e8: These Are His Revolutions. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

Ruth polishes silverware and gushes over how brilliant Mr. Wilford is in this episode’s opening monologue. She can’t understand why any passengers would challenge him! Oh Ruth. Sweetie, you’re in for a rough few days. When Ruth pauses, we cut to Miles wandering around the engine in pyjamas (which don’t have trains all over them - boo!). He presses a button that turns the lights on and off in at least eight carriages. Subtle! LJ sees the flashing lights from her window. But, most importantly, my favourite guest star has returned! Snowpeter even gets a line this episode, which he delivers perfectly. Where was his Emmy nomination?

This scene also gives us some more clues about the train’s geography: the Folgers’ car is far enough away from the engine to be able to see the front of the train when it’s coming around a curve. At least forty cars, I’d guess?

Miles lets LJ into the engine. Because she’s LJ, she immediately discards all instructions and heads straight for the driver’s seat. Javi is at the helm, out of uniform, listening to music and reading a book. There’s some very tense music, but LJ doesn’t get caught. When they finally get back on track (train pun!), Miles shows LJ around his new bedroom. LJ steals one of Miles’ fifty-year-old roommate’s pictures, then leaves. On her way home, she passes Ruth in the corridor, so that Ruth can finish up her monologue.

After the opening credits, a new character walks through the Chains to deliver a note to Clay. A new person introduced in episode eight? And the word ‘revolution’ is in the episode title? We know they’re gonna die.

Clay takes the note to a revolution planning meeting, where Layton, Till, Audrey, Jakes and a bunch of others are poring over blueprints of the train. They make some kind of battle plan, but the most important part of this scene is Miss Audrey’s revolution outfit.

It’s been a year and a half since this episode came out, and I have still not recovered.

Till puts on a deep voice (which I’m not complaining about - just confused!) to tell Layton that she’s still not sure which side the Brakemen will take. Layton responds by ominously telling her that there will be casualties. Oh shit! That reminds her! Till pops home to tell her wife to stay home today, away from the secret war where she might die. Jinju and Till then establish that they’ve both been lying to each other for the entire ten minutes that they’ve been married. When Till tells Jinju that Melanie tortured someone to death yesterday, Jinju practically admits to knowing about it by replying, “Please don’t make me choose between you and the train.” I have never rooted harder for fictional queer characters to break up.

Up in the Folgers’ car, the whole family plus Commander Grey have invited Ruth over. LJ thinks they’re going to blow Ruth’s mind, and Snowpeter thinks everyone should please shut the fuck up at nap time! They tell Ruth that Wilford hasn’t been seen since departure, and there’s evidence that Melanie is in charge. Ruth doesn’t want to believe it.

Up in the engine, Melanie is teaching Miles lesson #1 in the class How to Drive While Distracted by the Crushing Responsibility of Keeping Three Thousand People Alive. After class, he casually asks Melanie how her daughter died. WOW! Shockingly, Alex died the same way as Miles’ whole family and almost every other person on earth at the time. After they’d covered that, Miles tells Melanie that he has his Tail mom, Josie. Ha! Not any more, kid! Luckily, Bennett drags Melanie away before she starts to feel too guilty. She’s needed in First.

Oh shit, here it comes! Ruth tells Melanie there’s been a report that Wilford isn’t on the train. Melanie bluffs that she met Wilford last night, but Lilah and Grey demand to see him in person. She asks whether they'd prehaps prefer a phone call to Bennett, instead? But no, they wouldn't. They know she’s running the train. They even have an eyewitness account… from LJ.

Melanie immediately points out that LJ isn’t exactly the most reliable witness. Martin agrees, causing a stir among the First class passengers. But LJ has a picture! A picture of Melanie and baby Alex, to be exact. I'd argue that all it proves is that LJ was able to get a picture, but apparently it's solid proof that Mr. Wilford doesn't exist. Melanie lunges for LJ, but unfortunately some Jackboots grab her and hold her back. Very disappointing - that could have been a fun fight!

Scared of missing out, some of the First class bodyguards decide to have their own little fight. One of them even pulls a gun and fires!? I'm really not sure why! When that’s all under control, Grey gives the order to bring all available Jackboots uptrain. Melanie tries to tell him that it’s a stupid idea given the whole brewing revolution, but Grey doesn’t take orders from Melanie any more! He’s not about to let her prevent him from falling into Layton’s very obvious trap!

Downtrain, Jackboot Jefferson (the one who got smashed into a gate by Till in ep 2) receives Grey’s orders. He’s doing his part for timeline detectives by standing under a massive clock! For anyone who cares, it’s 10:18.

Next, we’re treated to the return of another outstanding guest star: Roche’s lunchbox! Roche and Osweiller are enjoying some father-son bonding time in the lockup room, when they’re interrupted by Jackboots running uptrain. They don’t know what’s going on, so they peer around the door together like Looney Tunes characters. No wonder these guys needed Layton’s help for detective work.

The Jackboots also run through the Nightcar, and Miss Audrey is delighted that the rebels’ plan is working.

She tells Clay to, “Do it” (whatever “it” is), then heads behind the bar to tell Till and Layton they're free to move. Usually when Audrey watches someone get handcuffed in the Nightcar, it’s not like this. Layton offers his hands to Till, and she prepares to fake-escort the “prisoner” back to the Tail. The rebels begin to send out their signals: little strips of red are hung in windows and from pipes, and one is even delivered to the Tail. Mama Grande announces the revolution.

Up in First, Grey sends everyone to their quarters until further notice. Martin points out that they’re grown ups and Grey can’t just send everyone to their rooms! Grey tells him, “Shut your mouth, boyo.” This guy’s lines! Melanie tries to warn Grey and Ruth that they’re making a mistake as she’s led away by a Jackboot. Ruth is suddenly very worried that their mutiny might be mutiny, so Grey suggests that they go and double check that there really is no Wilford. It is fucking ridiculous that they've gone this far on nothing except LJ’s word! Imagine if they stormed into the engine and just found Wilford having a bath!

Downtrain, Astrid brings some Halloween costumes for the sanitation crew - today consisting of Lights, Murray, and Big John. Murray complains that feels like a wanker in his Jackboot costume, and I’m not sure whether any of his American counterparts have a clue what he means. Astrid begins to introduce the Tailies to their new buddies up in Third. John is paired up with tunnelman Jakes, Astrid is going to take Lights somewhere else, and Murray is going with Miss Audrey. Strewth!

Melanie has been taken to the torturey hospitality room (which, luckily for her, has defrosted since her last visit). Instead of immediately cuffing Melanie to the table, Jackboot Tyson lets Melanie fetch a photo of her daughter. But really, Melanie just wants to push a button that sets off a lockdown alarm in the engine.

Javi immediately accuses Miles of causing the lockdown, and gives us more timeline information: Miles has been in the engine for two days. “Two days” could mean last night and this morning (i.e. less than 24 hours), or that there was a whole day between episodes seven and eight. Miles’ change of pyjamas probably suggests the latter, but it’s hard to be sure in this show.

As the engineers rapidly lock down, Jackboots try to open the door to the engine car. Javi is feeling a little dramatic today!

Bennett and Javi scream in each other’s faces about what to do, then completely ignore what each other just said and do whatever they want anyway! Javi lets Grey and Ruth into the engine car, so Bennett responds by punching Javi’s glasses off and shutting him out of the engine room. Grey and Ruth are on Javi within seconds, demanding to know where Wilford is. Javi tells Ruth that Wilford is dead, and her heart breaks.

Ruth wanders around Melanie’s bedroom in shock, and has a little cry. In another demonstration of just how much the idea of Wilford meant to her, Ruth asks Grey, “What will people hold on to, now?” Crushing! Then, upset Ruth gives way to vengeful Ruth. She wants Melanie to pay.

Downtrain, Astrid takes Lights to Walter The Papermaker. He is apparently also an electrician. Okay then! Lights uses Josie’s friendship bracelet to break into an electrical room. She argues with Walter about which wires are the communication lines, then decides, “I don’t have time for this, I’m just gonna pull!” Ummmm, that’s a questionable plan on many levels. But, luckily, it works!

Meanwhile, Till takes Layton to the Tail. Jackboot Jefferson’s clock reads 12:40. That means it’s Layton-punching time! JJ tries to make a call to confirm that Layton is really supposed to return home, but Lights has taken the lines down just in time. Till then beats Jefferson up. She definitely enjoys it, and so do I. Layton spits on the Jackboot, for good measure. Then, they head into the Tail.

Layton is welcomed home, and Till hangs around awkwardly in the doorway until Layton remembers oh, yeah, he should probably tell his friends not to kill his new little sister! Till’s one of them, now. Layton makes a speech to get everyone pumped and ready to march. He name-checks Josie, Suzanne and Old Ivan. The Tailies have saved something red for Layton to wear: Josie’s invisibility bandana. Then, they begin move out. One Train!

Walter and Lights leave the electrical room, and run straight into four Brakemen. Walter apparently also attends the same acting class as Till, Miss Gillies and Zarah! Even Osweiller can detect that something’s wrong, and quickly recognises Lights from the Tail. Osweiller orders one of the other Brakemen (sidenote: why the fuck is Osweiller in charge!?) to call up to Commander Grey. But the phone line is dead. The Brakeman has to run all the way up to First to relay the message. Lights and Walter are arrested.

Next, we catch up with Audrey and Murray. They’re visiting Creepy Klimpt, who is apparently with the revolution now! It doesn’t make much sense why Audrey (rather than any other rebel) had to deliver Murray to the drawers room, but I’m fine with it because it gives us the opportunity to see her revolution outfit in good lighting.

Up in the Folgers’ car, Snowpeter is chilling with LJ while the others are planning how to take power. The messenger Brakeman bursts into the car to tell Grey that comms are down and there are Tailies running around Third. Grey finally realises that bringing his entire army uptrain while there was a fugitive revolutionary on the loose in Third may not have been his best idea ever. He sends all the Jackboots back downtrain, via the tunnels.

Meanwhile, Ruth visits Melanie in the torturey hospitality room. She asks Melanie not to talk. Naturally, Melanie immediately talks! But when Ruth asks again, Melanie is quiet. Ruth is doubting seven years of tight knit co-working, friendship, and daily flirting rituals. She’s crying by the time she mentions the personal commendation she got from Mr. Wilford. I don’t know how the fuck the show managed to make me feel sorry for Ruth after all her callous classism and de-arming, but I really do! Someone needs to give her a hug, please!

Ruth asks whether Melanie killed Wilford, and Melanie dodges the question. She tells Ruth that Wilford was a fraud. He didn’t build the engine - Melanie did. Wilford was just the ticket salesman. He didn’t care about saving humanity: he just wanted to party for as long as possible! And that’s why Melanie pirated the train. She’s sorry for lying, but she’s not sorry for trying to keep everyone alive. Ruth decides to get herself cancelled in the fandom.

She’s right, and she should say it!

Before she leaves, Ruth reminds Melanie that her execution is tomorrow. Then, she simply bids her goodbye. DAMN. Take note, everyone: do not lie to Ruth Wardell.

Back at the revolutionary front line, let’s take a moment to appreciate the second-best revolution outfit: Till has removed her uniform jacket and tie, but kept the waistcoat. Y E S. Let's also appreciate that Mama Grande is the first person in line behind Till and Layton! I love that for her! The new character from the opening scene informs Layton that the Jackboots are on their way back downtrain, and that the Brakemen are forming in the Chains.

We immediately get a look at the aforementioned Brakemen. Osweiller is, as expected, shitting himself. He doesn’t want to face an army of tailies - especially not after the way he’s treated them over the years. Roche tells his son employee to get his big boy pants on. That’s not a joke this time - Roche literally says that line! Incredible!

Till and Layton come to negotiate with the Brakemen. It’s a good job they were at the front of the army! Till is brandishing an axe, which begs the question: is she the true originator of the conversation axe? Or is a negotiation axe different from a conversation axe? Anyway, Brakeman Roche tells his daughter employee that she’s a great disappointment to him (again, not a joke! Roche literally says these lines!). Till, in true queer tradition, seems pretty proud of disappointing her parent.

Roche doesn’t want to let the Tailies pass, because he thinks they’ll tear the train apart. And he doesn’t believe that Wilford is dead, either. Till tries to convince him. Layton addresses Third, stating that Third and the Tail need to stop First from taking power. Then, Layton tries to flatter Roche into letting them pass by calling him a “good cop”, and Till plays her trump card: she makes Roche think of his family.

Osweiller’s nerves finally get the better of him. He quits as gracefully as you’d expect: he declares, “Balls to this, man,” and pushes past his colleagues. Then, Roche caves. He believes Till. He orders the Brakemen to stand aside, and let the rebels through.

Up in the drawers car, Strong Boy is awake. And speaking! He’s used his six-ish weeks in the drawers to learn Mandarin! What did you achieve between episodes two and eight?

Meanwhile, Layton and Till are teaching rebel school in a Thirdie classroom. “L is for Layton, M is for Melanie, N is for knife...”

Down below, Jackboots are running through the tunnels. But John and Tunnelman Jakes have set up Big John’s Big Spike Launcher, and it works better than they had hoped! They take out multiple Jackboots on the first attempt, quickly reload, then take out more. Grey (who STILL isn't wearing his fucking helmet!!) is shitting it, and decides to go up and over rather than staying in the tunnels.

But that’s what the rebels were banking on! They're waiting in the Nightcar. The Jackboots arrive to find that the music and lights for the usual mid-afternoon rave are in full swing. However, the Nightcar is suspiciously empty. There's also a suspicious cardboard box in the middle of the floor. How did the rebels know that the Jackboots love to steal unattended Amazon packages? The Jackboots cautiously approach the box - they've seen enough YouTube videos to know that it could just be a glitter-based trap. Commander Grey takes a peek inside, and finds Jefferson’s decapitated head. At least it wasn't a glitter bomb!

Then, the music pauses. From the First class balcony, Layton calls out to Grey, then orders the rebels to attack.

Most rebels fight Jackboots on the ground, but there are also a few archers firing from the balcony. Till and Layton guard the stairs, protecting the archers. With all the flashing lights it’s difficult to follow the fight, but there are brief glimpses of various recognisable Tailies and Thirdies. There's plenty of blood and death, but I think Patterson is the only named character killed in the battle. His death is followed by a slow-motion montage of Commander Grey screaming and Till and Layton axing a lot of Jackboots.

Then, Grey calls retreat. He grabs a hostage - it’s the Thirdie from the start! They're finally gonna die! Layton tries to get to Grey, but Grey slits the hostage’s throat and pushes them down the stairs into Layton. Meanwhile, the surviving rebels cheer - they did it! The Jackboots have retreated!

Down in the tunnels, Big John is out of ammo. He orders his squad to take the weapon back to the next barricade, and buys them some time. The Jackboots launch themselves through the barricade, one at a time. It looks like John takes out a total of five Jackboots, all by himself!? It’s very impressive, and leaves me wondering whether these Jackboots ever had any training? No shade to John, but one sick man shouldn’t be that difficult for a team of professional soldiers to handle!

Back in the Nightcar, the floor is covered in blood and bodies. Survivors (including Till, Pelton and Audrey) are tending to the wounded. Santiago closes Patterson’s eyes. Layton tells Santiago to keep pressing on the Jackboots, and Santiago begins to gather a group of rebels, including Clay. They move towards the bar while Till calls out the order to gather weapons from the fallen Jackboots. But then, the retreated Jackboots return. They throw gas grenades off the balcony. Many of the surviving rebels escape back to Third, but those closer to the bar - and presumably many of the wounded, too - succumb to the gas. The Nightcar is already lost.

The escaped rebels retreat, then weld shut the doors behind them. In better news, Jakes informs Layton that the tunnel barricades are holding.

There’s a quick scene showing Melanie, alone, cuffed to the table in the torturey hospitality room while the sun sets behind her. Then, we catch up with Murray and Klimpt in the drawers car. They’re still waiting for the rebels to turn up. They have no idea that their comrades have just welded themselves into Third. Not knowing what else to do, Klimpt and Murray continue waking up the prisoners. Murray says they’ll wake Pike next. It doesn’t make much sense that they didn’t start waking him earlier, until we discover that it’s for dramatic effect: Murray opens Pike’s drawer, and discovers that it’s empty.

Pike is up in First, enjoying chocolate-covered chocolate cake and hot chocolate. After seven years eating nothing but bug bars and human flesh, I can hardly blame him. Grey (who has the time to sit around and watch Pike eat, but hasn’t bothered to give his blood-drenched face a quick wash) asks for information on Layton. Pike tells Grey how he and Layton used to date, and promises he’ll give his ex up for another piece of cake.

In the final scene, Layton wanders through cars of injured rebels in slow motion. He’s covered in as much blood as Grey. Audrey and Till (both also bloody) make eye contact with Layton as he walks. Zarah is also covered in blood - presumably from tending the wounded, rather than fighting - and passes in front of Layton wearing a haunted expression. Meanwhile, Pike’s conversation with Grey plays as a voiceover. Layton doesn’t handle failure well. Grey just needs to keep pushing, and Layton will crumble.

For someone who promised “never again” re. cannibalism, Layton sure has a lot of human blood on his mouth!

#snowpiercer 1.08 #snowpiercer s1e8 #snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer rewatch #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer season 1 #snowpiercer

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 2, episode 10: Let’s Go Make Coup!

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e10: Into the White. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

It’s Alex’s turn to monologue this episode. In her opening line, she directly contradicts what Melanie said in the departure flashback - Alex was ten when the world became a train, not eight. I already need a break.

In the next part of the monologue, Alex calls Wilford “daddy Dubs”. If the fandom appropriates that for their Wilford thirst I’m gonna scream! Alex was lonely on Big Alice, and after seeing Layton lead by listening to others (lol what? He’s still got a lot of work to do on his listening skills!) how she’s now on Melanie and Layton’s side.

In the monologue breaks, Wilford visits the oubliette brig to drop a Labyrinth reference on Alex, and Layton and Ruth work on a dance routine in The Swamp.

Ruth tells Layton they’re going to have to be ruthless, and he doesn’t point out the pun! Unforgivable! Layton tells Ruth that Wilford’s complete disregard for the lives of the people of Snowpiercer means that, to beat him, they don’t need to question whether they can sink to Wilford’s level - they need to question whether they’re willing to risk everything. Ruth is.

Alex finishes up her monologue by trashing the brig and saying that, one day, she’ll break the cycle and walk away from Snowpiercer, with its people.

After the opening credits, Ruth is doing all the work while Layton’s on a break. The guard asks for their lunch tray to be returned, and Ruth takes the opportunity to show the guard her Oliver Twist impression. But it’s a trap! The guard puts their hand through the window to retrieve the tray, and Layton tightens a trap around the guard’s wrist. They have a little tug of war, until Layton finally yanks the guard into the door. Layton stabs the guard with the shard of glass he stashed away last episode, and Ruth delivers a blow to the guard’s face with the shovel handle. Then they steal the keys, unlock the door from the inside (which feels like a big design flaw!!), and head out to find Javi.

They sneak around the train, and run into Alex in the brig. Ruth tells Alex that her mum is still alive, and Layton tells Alex that they’re going to steal Big Alice and pick Melanie up. I’m not sure how they were planning to disconnect the trains given that they’re supposed to be locked together forever now? Chopping off the tail, maybe? Anyway, Alex tells them that the train needs both engines to get over the Rocky Mountain Test Track, so they’re going to have to steal the whole train anyway. She also tells them about a secret entrance to Wilford’s bedroom! Layton wants to reward her for that by breaking her out of the brig, but Alex thinks it’s a better idea for her to stay - she’s going to pretend to be sorry to Wilford and keep him distracted.

Up in the First Class Dining room, Wilford is using the table as a desk, while Audrey is using the dining room sofa as a bed. He’s annoyed that Audrey isn’t awake yet, but pleased that his new advisor is an early riser. Till, however, does not look pleased to be there. There’s a W pin on her detective coat, and she points out that she’s not an advisor if he never takes her advice.

Kevin enters the scene to tell Wilford that Zarah threatened him with a fork when he delivered today’s dinner invitation. I would’ve liked to see that! Wilford suggests offering her a promotion to convince her, but Till and her detective coat advise him that Zarah isn’t going to be bought while Layton is locked away. Kevin offers to slap Zarah, so Wilford very vioently punches Kevin.

Wilford then asks Till why he just punched Kevin. She sasses him, suggesting it’s because of poor impulse control. But then offers a real answer: it’s because pregnancy comes with privilege on Snowpiercer. Wilford and Kevin then say the most disgusting lines in the whole show, and in the interest of our collective mental health I won’t repeat it here. If you know, you know.

Finally, Wilford orders Audrey to get up and visit Zarah.

The next scene is just straight-up comedy (and a little bit of killing). Layton and Ruth bicker as they sneak into Wilford’s bedroom, then quietly head out to the engine room. Conveniently they’re right next to all the swords! They select weapons and spy on the guards through the curtain. Then, it turns out that ruthless Ruth ruths just as hard as regular Ruth: she runs into action too early, screaming. Luckily, Ruth and Layton still manage to take out a Jackboot each.

With the guards both dead, Javi and Ruth both immediately freak out.

Javi hugs Layton (the first hug of many this episode!), then tells him he smells like crap. Ruth gets everyone a nerve-steadying drink. Layton accidentally sits on the sofa next to a corpse, then awkwardly shuffles away. It’s gold. They catch us up on what’s happening with the train: they have two hours before they reach the curve, and need to somehow communicate their plan to Bennett. (But not Melanie? Why aren’t they radioing her with an update!? The guards are dead now!)

Ruth explores the weird shit in the room while Javi paces out his stress and Layton tries to mask how frustrated he is with his new allies. Ruth ruths hard again, and Layton comes running to her aid - but she’s just excited about the fancy bathroom. Ruth’s expression is pure joy as she runs the water.

In the Big Alice lab, Icy Josie is learning to use her new hand, and chatting to a new character. Josie was scared when she nearly froze to death (fair enough!), but she’s not scared about going outside now - she wants to see what she can do. She, more than anyone, deserves to fuck some shit up!

Next, we catch up with Alex. She’s apologising to Wilford, and telling him everything he wants to hear. For some reason, Wilford is still trusting Till and her detective coat? This feels like a plothole, but fine!

Till clearly doesn’t believe a word out of Alex’s lying little mouth, but nevertheless, she advises Wilford that Alex seems to be telling the truth. Alex then takes her ass-kissing even further - she’s also going to apologise to Audrey and LJ. While LJ gives Mr. Wilford some breakfast, Alex whispers to Till that Layton escaped and he’s going to seize the engine.

Back in Big Alice, Layton and Ruth have both had a bath, and stolen some of Wilford’s clothes - a shirt for Ruth, and a t-shirt and leather jacket for Layton. Javi comes up with a secret code to communicate with Bennett, and calls in with some coordinates of fake track obstructions. Bennett checks them up, then confirms in his own code that got the message. This is all going far too smoothly! Javi bids Layton and Ruth goodbye, and he and Ruth share hug #2 before Javi locks himself into the cockpit. On their way out, Layton grabs a handy conversation facilitation tool from the Jackboot he killed earlier.

At the border, Lights and ZWreck receive a very circus-y looking delivery. They take it up to car 272, where Boki is waiting. Does he just hang out at the abandoned carnival in his downtime? Is that where Jinju, Klimpt, Zarah’s partners from s1e1 and Miles have been this whole time?

Boki opens up the box to reveal Ruth and Layton squished inside, and ZWreck looks at Boki as though he wants to be just like him one day.

I really enjoy how much this episode leans into the ridiculousness of the characters and sets, and just sort of lets them all run wild.

Layton hugs ZWreck and Lights (bringing the hug count to 4!), while Boki marvels at the fact that he’s now allied with the Tail due to “son-of-a-bitch Wilford”. Layton agrees, then gets briefly distracted by the fact that he’s just stepped out of a box and into a fucking carnival.

Ruth updates Boki on the plan, and he confirms that he can set up a coldlock mid-train. It’s perfect! They’ll grab Melanie and bring her back to the carnival car, so that she can use the phone there to make a public address. Boki agrees with yet another stunning quote: “Okey-dokey! Let’s go make coup!”

Up in the Layton-Ferami First Class Living/Meeting Room, Audrey pours herself a drink and chats away to Zarah without any self-awareness. After a while, she softens a bit and explains that she’s trying to help Zarah - Zarah doesn’t actually have the leverage that she thinks she does. Wilford doesn’t need Zarah, just her womb (yikes!!!!!!!!) - the Headwoods can take Zarah right out of the equation.

Zarah pretty much ignores Audrey’s warning, and Audrey impatiently insists that they are the same as they’ve always been: survive, survive, survive! Before Audrey can try converting Zarah to the Wilford cult, their conversation is interrupted by a knock at the door. It’s Till and her detective coat! She’s back on room service duty! But she’s not delivering bug bar breakfast this time - she’s delivering a fist, directly into Audrey’s nose.

Zarah briefly panics at the sight of Audrey dramatically falling to the floor, then relaxes when she realises that it’s just her kind-of-sister-in-law compensating for the fact that she hasn’t committed any acts of physical violence for a few episodes. Till relays Alex’s message to Zarah, and they drag Audrey into a small room together.

Up in the engine, Sykes is making the most of Snowpiercer’s snacks while babysitting Bennett. He pretends that he needs to fetch some maps, but Sykes smells that bullshit instantly and tells him to use the satellite. Bennett carries on, claiming that the satellite reception is degraded, then makes a quick move on the Jackboot to shove them out of the engine and close the door.

Sykes casually eats one more piece of tangerine, puts the rest of the fruit down, and slowly walks towards Bennett. Bennett gets ready for a fight and says he doesn’t want to hurt Sykes, which is very cute of him!

Bennett obviously gets his ass absolutely handed to him, because Sykes is a fucking badass. One of the many times that Bennett is crashed up against a desk during the fight, he manages to enter the command to switch the track. When the train changes direction, the unexpected movement throws Sykes off balance for long enough that Bennett is able to smash a laptop into Sykes’ head - which is how to knock someone immediately unconscious on TV! He radios Javi to tell him that they’ve successfully switched the track.

Next, Layton calls Bennett in the engine. They’re only about ten minutes from the station. Sykes is tied up on the floor, and warns Bennett that Wilford will notice that they’ve turned onto the rough test track. But Bennett hates receiving criticism about his driving, and tells Sykes to shut up.

Sykes was right, though: downtrain, Wilford notices the bumpy track. He gets Alex to check what’s happening. Alex calls Bennett and pretends it’s just avalanche debris. Wilford seems ready to accept her explanation, until LJ rats her out. He looks out of the window, then heads to Big Alice with Jackboot reinforcements. It’s a good thing it’s only a five minute journey to the border! A Jackboot is ordered to bring Alex, too. Somehow, they don’t notice Alex swipe a razorblade from Wilford’s tile and hide it in her mouth.

Alarms alert Layton and Boki to the fact that Wilford must already know that the train has switched tracks. Meanwhile, Bennett and Javi have a nervous chat over the comms while Jackboots hammer at their respective engine doors. Javi tries to make up for that time Alex called him the fifth engineer, and Bennett lets him have it in case Jackboots murder him within the next few minutes. Javi begins to play music and pray to the hula dancer figurine.

Wilford soon arrives in the engine room, banishes Alex from his sight, then gives orders to a Jackboot. He wants them to bring a cutter to the door, and to fetch his dog.

Uptrain, Bennett and Layton are on the phone again. Bennett is worried that he didn’t catch sight of Melanie from the engine. I still don’t know why they didn’t radio her as soon as Layton and Ruth killed the Jackboots near the start of the episode! Anyway, Bennett has slowed down, and he’ll slow even more when Boki’s cold lock reaches the pickup point. Layton and Boki peer out of a window together, hoping to see Melanie. And, not long later, they do!

Meanwhile, on Big Alice, Jackboots have finished cutting through Javi’s door. They throw him away from the helm and start to beat him up, while Jupiter barks in the background. Javi repeats what Bennett told him last episode: Wilford can’t afford to kill engineers. But, unfortunately, the engine bros forgot that Wilford is the same guy who was literally going to murder them all at the push of a button in episode one! Wilford is not very logical when he’s angry. He sets Jupiter on Javi, then accelerates Big Alice as hard as he can.

Bennett desperately pushes the breaks, and contacts Big Alice to tell Javi to slow down. But it’s Wilford who replies. He tells Bennett that his breaking won’t matter, because Big Alice has more torque. In the background, Jackboots drag Javi away. Alex screams at Wilford to stop because the breaks will overheat, and Bennett panics that Wilford will derail them. Wilford doesn’t give a fuck about either of those very urgent problems, though! His number one priority is to make sure that Melanie gets left behind.

Alex cries out for Melanie at the back window, showing the other perspective of the final scene from episode six. She tries to plead with Wilford to turn the train around - for Melanie and the science. Wilford insists that the warming Earth theory is a fantasy - he thinks that Melanie couldn’t accept that he saved the lives of everyone on the trains. If that’s what he genuinely believes is happening, even after seeing all the data, then he needs some serious professional help to get him connected to reality!

Wilford then briefly calms down his anger, and tries to manipulate Alex instead. He tells her that it breaks his heart that she’s more like Melanie than him. Alex insists that she’s like both of them, but he doesn’t agree. He then tells Alex that he was just using her to get to Melanie, he has no more use for her, and that she can join Melanie trackside. Alex hurts him back, by telling him that he could never be the leader Melanie is! He retaliates by slapping her, and she fights back by slicing his neck with her razor blade.

Alex runs away while Jackboots rush Wilford to the Headwoods. The doctors patch him up quickly, and Icy Josie spies on them. Meanwhile, Alex sneaks through the train until she runs into Layton and Boki. They’re on their way to ask Ruth what to do next, but Alex has a plan for how they could still save Melanie.

In car 272, Layton, Ruth, Boki and Alex discuss the plan. They can disconnect some cars, quickly pop back for Melanie, and then reconnect again. Big Alice’s engine can run the train while they’re gone. There’s only one car that can be decoupled in a lockdown, though: the aquarium.

Back in the lab, Wilford is stitched up but still a bit weak. He orders the Jackboots to the border, then tells Josie it’s her big day! She has to go all the way to Snowpiercer’s engine (which only takes about five minutes, if you run inside the train!), and breach it to freeze Bennett. The Headwoods protest that Josie isn’t anywhere near ready to go that far, but Wilford yells at them to do it anyway.

Up in the Layton-Ferami First Class Living/Meeting Room, Layton is updating Zarah, Till and Till’s detective coat on the situation. He thinks that they have to go ASAP, otherwise Wilford will take over forever. Neither Till nor Zarah are thrilled with the plan.

Layton calls back to his opening chat with Ruth - he’s willing to risk everything to beat Wilford. Till reluctantly agrees to join him, but Zarah still won’t. Till senses another argument brewing, and makes an excuse to get the fuck out of there. Layton and Zarah disagree about what’s safest: Layton wants them to stay together, but Zarah believes that all of Wilford’s creepiness about the baby will keep her safe. They decide to stay on separate trains, and hug (that’s hug #5!) goodbye. All these hugs, and still none for Till!

On Big Alice, the Headwoods take Icy Josie to the coldlock and remind her of her training. I really don’t get why they’re all going along with this, given that the Headwoods don’t think Josie is ready, and Josie is one of the least likely characters on the whole show to join Wilford. I guess she must just reeeeeeeeeally want to get outside and see what she can do! The doctors give Icy Josie a weapon, quickly demonstrate how to use it, and promise to patch her up when she returns. Then, Icy Josie goes outside.

The open coldlock sends an alert to Bennett. Sykes freely offers up the information that the coldlock alert must mean that Wilford’s coldwoman is heading outside. Uh, is Sykes concussed? Why is Wilford’s head of security just handing out information about Wilford’s plans? Anyway, Bennett realises that Wilford’s coldwoman must be Josie. Does Bennett know of Josie from that time his girlfriend tortured her, or that time he threatened to dismember her kid?

Sykes then continues to leak more information! Wilford likely sent Josie to breach the engine, which will kill them both. Maybe that’s why Sykes is telling Bennett everything: self-preservation. It’s not exactly the best quality for a security guard, but I like Sykes a lot more than Wilford so I’m not complaining!

Bennett is confident that Josie wouldn’t breach the engine, and contacts her via the radio. After a brief introduction, a polite discussion about the weather, and a chat about last night’s episode of Eastenders, Bennett asks for Josie’s help to disconnect the engine.

Up in a First class corridor, Wilford and Layton meet. Layton tells Wilford that he’s not there to fight.

There are so many iconic quotes in this episode!

There’s a quick scene showing Boki unlocking the overrides and updating Bennett. Then, we cut to Ruth. She’s running through the train, for an unknown reason. Boki is already at the aquarium car, and he and Ruth left car 272 at the same time! Why didn’t they travel together? Did Ruth have a side mission that got cut? Anyway, she gets lured into a trap: an open Hospitality door and a very tempting teal jacket.

Ruth runs in to grab the teals, and Kevin shuts the door with a single finger while menacingly zapping his cattle prod. It’s ridiculous, and I love it. Kevin demands that Ruth hands the teals back, or threatens that they’ll do it the hard way. Ruth agrees, gives her teals one last sniff, and approaches Kevin to hand over the jacket. But she’s ruthless today! As soon as Ruth gets close enough, she knees Kevin in the balls and steals his cattle prod. She then zaps him until he squeals, snatches the jacket, and runs off with the stolen cattle prod and her precious teals.

Uptrain, Layton has lured Wilford to the aquarium car. He tells Wilford to be nice to everyone while the train pirates are gone. To ensure that he does, Till brings out a bound, gagged, bloody Audrey. Wilford is appalled to see his paramour in such a state. Till whispers to Layton that Ruth hasn’t arrived yet, missing yet another pun opportunity! They are literally Ruth-less right now! Come on!

But Layton doesn’t include Ruth in his bargain: Audrey is their guarantee of Zarah’s safety. Poor Ruth!

Wilford asks Layton who’s doing the manual disconnect, and then the scene cuts to Jackboots running through the tunnels, towards Boki. He loses contact with Bennett while he fights all six of them himself! What a guy! Above, Wilford gloats that he’d never let anyone uncouple his engine, and begins to walk through the aquarium car. Layton grabs Audrey and threatens to kill her with his conversation axe if Wilford doesn’t move back behind the link.

Wilford calls Layton’s bluff, much to Audrey’s distress.

She cries and begs Wilford for her life, but Wilford insists that he knows that Layton wouldn’t kill her. Some tense music plays while Layton presses the axe blade to Audrey’s throat, contemplating whether to prove Wilford wrong and kill one of his fellow revolutionaries.

But Icy Josie arrives just in time to prevent Layton from having to make a difficult decision! Bennett (having lost contact with Boki) has instructed Josie to smash the aquarium car. Josie breaks a window, and the water and sea creatures rapidly begin to freeze. As the glass begins to crack inside, everyone realises how fucked they’ll be if they don’t immediately run.

Wilford jumps behind the J-link just in time, and we have no idea whether Boki managed to do the same. Meanwhile, Ruth watches on from many cars away. She’s happy for a moment, before it dawns on her that all her friends just left her with Wilford. How ruthless!

The end of the episode shows Layton and Alex out for a little stroll in the snow. They banter via radio with Bennett and Till, who are sweating away in the engine room. When Alex and Layton reach the research station, Alex calls out to Melanie/Mom. There are increasingly positive signs as they move through the station, until finally they find a tent! But when they open it up, they only find Melanie’s data.

Alex picks up Melanie’s notebook and begins to read her mother’s goodbye letter, while Layton tries to find Gina’s cousins in the geothermal vent. When he returns, Alex and Layton pack up the equipment and walk back to the pirate train while Melanie does a voiceover reading out parts of her letter. She says that Alex is her hope, and tells her to learn to love their allies.

Finally, Bennett plugs in the climate data and the screens display some warm spots. Yay! The coup wasn’t completely useless! They all look to Layton for what to do next, and he suggests the obvious course of action (but in a suitably badass way)

And that’s it! Season three comes out tonight/tomorrow. Who else is Very Concerned?

#snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer season 2 #snowpiercer s2e10 #snowpiercer 2.10 #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 2, episode 4: The Mangolingus Episode

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e4: A Single Trade. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

The communiqué makes it back to Big Alice this episode. While scenes of Audrey rehearsing a dance in the Nightcar and a trade of food for parts at the border play, Audrey talks about trading. She says that trades don’t always go the way you plan - you give more than you get, terms change and you end up trading with yourself. Miss Audrey staked her future on a single trade: a life with Wilford for a place on the train. That explains why she’s been so worried the last three episodes! She concludes, “I should have known Wilford would find me,” finishes her dance, and then the camera focuses on a long scar on her right forearm. This is going to be a horrible episode.

After the opening credits - no, wait! The opening music sounds different! What’s going on there? Interesting!

Anyway, we open on Zarah and Layton eating First Class breakfast. Zarah has spoken to Audrey for Layton, and warns him to go easy - Wilford opens a lot of old wounds for Audrey. He nods agreement that he will. Ruth interrupts them to congratulate Layton on the successful trade, and to give him a communiqué. Ruth is wearing a skirt today - like Melanie used to, when Melanie was Head of Hospitality, back when she was still on the train… Is Ruth pining already? Am I reading too much into her outfit choice?

The communiqué contains an offer to treat Snowpiercer’s frostbite patients. Ruth thinks it’s generous, but Layton doesn’t agree - apparently, most of Snowpiercer’s frostbite patients were caused by Icy Bob. After Ruth leaves, Zarah asks whether Layton thinks it could help Josie. I genuinely can’t tell whether she’s trying to be nice or start another argument, and it doesn’t look like Layton’s sure, either. He diplomatically replies that it could help all 14 patients, kisses Zarah on the side of the head, and leaves.

Next there’s a quick scene showing Ruth reading Layton’s reply to the communiqué! Did Ruth just break a Hospitality rule!? Wild! She sighs as she reads it, then returns it to its pouch.

The communiqué makes it back to Big Alice, where Alex playfully swings it in front of Wilford’s face.

He says he’s not asleep, and my Grandad used to tell exactly the same lie! Alex and Wilford sit, mirroring each other, with their legs up at the helm. Alex shows Wilford Layton’s reply to the communiqué. It simply says, “What do you want?” That’s why Ruth was so unimpressed.

Alex knows what Wilford wants: his paramour, Miss Audrey. He doesn’t deny it, and Alex asks why he hasn’t invited Audrey over already. It’s because Wilford wants a night out - they’re going to visit the Nightcar this episode!

On Snowpiercer, Till and her detective coat are following Boki around. He goes into the tea room, so she follows him inside. To look less suspicious, she pretends to be looking at something in the room, and lands on a memorial to the people lost in the revolution. She’s crying within seconds. Pastor Logan notices, and comes out of his Pastor Office to offer Till a cup of tea.

Up in the engine, Bennett and Javi are chuffed with their new bogie motors! Javi is on the floor, playing with his new Christmas present. Bennett sits down next to Javi for a cute little engine bros moment, undoubtedly sparking more fanfiction. We learn that it’s been three days since the last episode, which probably puts us at about 7-8 weeks since s1e1? Javi comforts Ben, and it’s sweet.

In Layton’s living room/office, Audrey is hungover and scared by the news that Mr. Wilford wants to visit the Nightcar. She just lost her only two named employees! But that’s not the only reason she’s scared. She’s spent years washing her hands clean of him. Layton asks for more information, and Audrey gives us some backstory: by the age of 18, she was working as a high-end escort at days-long parties for “the most powerful men and women in Chicago”, on Wilford’s trains. Audrey was Wilford’s, exclusively, for years. She lost everything, and now Layton wants her to open Pandora’s Box?

Layton gently explains that it would be very useful for them to have Audrey in Wilford��s ear, steering him. He promises that they’ll all help her, and then concludes, “This is the cause, now, Audrey.” She responds that she’ll do it - but not for Layton or Melanie’s mission. This one’s for her.

On Big Alice, Sykes has delivered an invitation for Wilford and some of his crew to attend the balloon launch party in the Nightcar. Alex jokes to Sykes that ‘Dubs’ has been dragging Big Alice around the world in desperate search of his paramour, not his train. Wilford snaps at Alex, “Don’t say that word!” Audrey is a poem, a witchy bird of grace that holds the soul of the train, a key. Yep.

Sykes and Alex stand at nervous attention as Wilford rants, and sneak glances at each other when he’s not looking. It’s nice to see them bonding over their mutual dislike of Wilford! Alex and Sykes unconvincingly agree that they want to seize Snowpiercer with Wilford, and it puts him in a better mood! He starts planning his outfit - his silk brocade suit and ruffle shirt. Because, of course he has those!

Next, Alex joins Emilia in the canteen. Lunch is mush and a couple of slices of apple, but Emilia is on the verge of tears as she sniffs it.

I wonder whether the mush is better or worse than bug bars?

Wilford addresses the population from the balcony, and announces that he’s finally going to fulfil his pledge that the crew can go to Snowpiercer! Well. Some of them. For a couple of hours. Sykes follows up, saying that all of the crew’s names are in a hat, and three names will be selected for a night out on! It’s obviously rigged, which Alex even confirms to Emilia as the selection begins. Wilford reads out three names: Oiler Bob, Damien with the Nice Jib, and, finally, Emilia. She overcompensates far too hard, and Alex affectionately rolls her eyes. Alex does have friends, after all!

On Snowpiercer, Audrey, Layton, Roche, Ben and Ruth are having a meeting in the Nightcar. They don’t recognise any of the names on the guestlist, so Roche will check with the notary to see what he can find out about them, and whether any of them might turn to Snowpiercer’s side. Bennett reminds the group that the evening is actually all about the balloons, and Ruth agrees that it’s about the hope that the balloon brings. Roche makes a good point: what happens if Wilford is in the middle of Snowpiercer and Melanie doesn’t make contact? They don’t bother planning for that outcome; they’re taking a leap of faith!

The other reason for the party tonight is to make friends with Wilford’s crew, thereby making it harder for Wilford to demonise Snowpiercer’s people. Audrey points out that Wilford will be doing exactly the same, trying to turn everyone in the room to his side. Then, this interaction happens:

I’d watch the hell out of that fight! Unfortunately, Audrey quickly clarifies that she means anyone who knew Wilford before - anyone who he hired personally. Ruth is still insulted, until Roche, Bennett and Audrey admit that they all fall into that category, too.

In Pastor Logan’s Office for Converting Depressed Lesbians, Logan, Till and her detective coat are having some tea. Yeah, I don’t like this storyline either. Till has survivor’s guilt. Logan calls her Bess (which feels extra wrong coming from his mouth!), then asks her what she still stands for. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know where she belongs, either. And she has no one. IS THIS WHY SHE KEEPS HUGGING HERSELF? What about her rebel friends that she told Jinju about in their breakup?

Till starts to cry. Logan tries to hold her hands, but she retracts them. He starts to say that there are 3000 people left, but she corrects him: it’s 2746. The scene ends with him telling her that she’s not alone, and her face crumples again. PLEASE CAN SOMEONE (not Logan) GIVE TILL A HUG!

Downtrain, the Headwoods and their Goop are visiting the frostbite patients, accompanied by Ruth and Layton. Dr. Pelton asks for details about how it works, and Mr. Dr. Headwood begins to answer before his wife silently reminds him that they’re not allowed to say. Layton tells them that there’s one more patient, in the second class clinic. Ruth discreetly tells Layton that she knows who the patient is, and insists that she needs to escort the doctors. I have no idea how Ruth knows about Josie? Is there a deleted scene somewhere? Anyway, Layton - who in his last scene told Ruth that they need to trust each other - just scoffs at her and leaves.

Layton gently holds Josie while the Headwoods examine her back. The doctors say that Josie’s injuries require custom grafting in sterile recovery, with absolutely no visitors. Josie and Layton smell an opportunity.

Up in the non-torturey Hospitality room, Zarah is just hanging out there for no discernable reason while Ruth is ranting and making herself a martini, because she’s Ruth. Zarah asks the question that’s often on my mind whenever Ruth starts Ruthing: What is she talking about? Ruth explains that Layton doesn’t trust her, or respect her work, and insists that her admiration of Mr. Wilford doesn’t mean she’s disloyal to the train. Zarah flatters Ruth a bit, then proposes that they could help each other. She asks to join Hospitality.

Back in the clinic, Josie and Layton discuss the offer of frostbite treatment on Big Alice. Does Mr. Wilford know who Josie is? The offer seems like a big coincidence, but Josie and Layton weren’t ticketed and who would have told Wilford about them? Next, Josie asks whether the therapy works. It does but... they also used it to create Icy Bob.

Layton thinks Josie would be too isolated over there, which pretty much seals the deal: Josie hates agreeing with Layton almost as much as Zarah does! She tells him that she’s not going to recover on Snowpiercer, then adds that she can use the opportunity to spy. She knows Pike is doing something at the border, so maybe she can get messages out that way? Layton’s in. SHE’S SO BADASS!

Downtrain, Pike and Terrence-Never-Terry are having another meeting. Pike is still stroppy about the time that Terrence-Never-Terry kicked him out, so he’s only going to bring him half the weed he imports from now on. To make amends, Terrence-Never-Terry offers Pike three encyclopedias. (Sidenote: we know there’s a library! Why are these so valuable?) As Pike leaves, we see that LJ was spying on the whole conversation.

Next, we catch Boki at the bar. He’s standing next to a drinks menu, and I couldn't get a good screenshot of it, but here are the drinks (I think?)

6 DIRTY PINNER

TURNTABLE

DERAILER

RAILMAN’S ALE

SEX ON THE TRAIN

SIDETRACK GIN

ELECTRIC DRAG

DOUBLY CABOOSE

RUSTY TRACKS

JERKWATER MULE

YARD GOAT

ROADMASTER

HIGHBALL WILLY

RUN 8 LOWBALL

I would love to see someone confidently order a Highball Willy, please!

Strong Boy, Murray and ZWreck then kidnap Boki and take him to Lights. She shows him her hand and tells him to make his people stop. He insists that he didn’t do it, and after a bit more conversation Boki promises that it’s more than just Breachmen on Wilford’s side. So, Lights punches him in the face! Boki falls to the floor, Strong Boy starts hitting him, and it quickly escalates to a tailie vs Breachmen fight.

(Sidenote: Till was literally just saying how she doesn’t have any friends, and I really think she should hang out with Lights! They both love righteously fighting guys twice their size! Josie or Layton should set them up!)

On Big Alice, the “randomly selected” guests and Alex are excited for the party! As is the Snowpiercer custom, they’re all wearing their queerest outfits for the event.

My thanks to the costume department, once again!

While Emilia sorts out Alex’s collars, the four of them excitedly discuss the Nightcar. Bob has heard it’s a brothel. Alex thinks it’s more like a cabaret. Emilia thinks they’ll have everything, and Damien wonders whether that means mangoes? WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THESE PEOPLE AND MANGOES!? Then, Wilford comes to ruin the mood. This is his night, for him to meet his old acquaintances, and to hopefully see Melanie’s balloon pop in their faces. What a dick!

In the market, Layton, Till and her detective coat are wandering around the aftermath of the fight. Boki is claiming that the tailies tried to kill him, because there aren’t already enough overdramatic characters on this train! Layton and Till tell the tailies off, then Layton gets some Boki backstory: he first met Wilford aged fourteen, while building bridges for him in Serbia. Boki is proud to say it makes him a lifer, and Till comes in to give him a good kicking.

Layton and Roche immediately drag her away and have a go at her because, yeah, what the fuck? Till explains that she has a Wilford problem: there are a lot of Wilford supporters around, and Wilford is visiting the Nightcar tonight. That’s true, but it doesn’t explain why she just kicked an injured assault victim? What the fuck?

Because they’re still under martial law, Layton and Roche decide that the breachmen won’t be allowed to go to the party tonight. I guess martial law is how Till gets away with kicking Boki, too? Yikes!

In the clinic, the tailies have a very sweet surprise for Josie. It’s Miles! She cries. He calls her his hero. Miles is engineering life systems, and he wants to be one of the first colonists back outside. Now Josie really has to support Melanie’s mission! Josie tells Miles to hold on to that hope, and then the tailies help Josie to leave for Big Alice. Miles and Winnie wheel her through the tail to a standing ovation, and this episode is too damn emotional!

Up in First, Layton can’t remember how to tie a tie. He says he’s worried about Audrey, and Zarah says she’s got Audrey’s back. MHM. Then she descends the stairs in her new Hospitality uniform, and is fucking delighted with how much Layton hates it.

I love a petty queer!

Layton claims Ruth is using Zarah to influence him, but Zarah fires back that it was actually her idea to join Hospitality: she’s going to keep an eye on Ruth for Layton. He thinks she should stay out of it and tells her that teal isn’t her colour, and she says he can’t say that since they’re not together any more. You tell him, Zarah! She sorts out his outfit, and they leave arm-in-arm.

In the Nightcar, the evening is finally kicking off! Ruth has her hair down, and introduces Mr. Wilford and his crew. Again, he loves the attention as he makes his way to “his area”. The Big Alice crew look around nervously while Layton and Wilford shake hands, and the engineers make an announcement. The engine bros explain what’s going on with the balloon, and Alex listens intently. In approximately 75mins, she’ll find out whether her mother is safe. Wilford wants to place a bet that Melanie is already dead.

Backstage, Zarah goes to check on Audrey. She reminds her that there’s still time to back out, but Audrey insists that she’s sure she wants to do it. Before Zarah leaves, Audrey asks her to get her if she’s not out within 30 minutes. It sounds like a decent enough plan, but this is a rewatch so it just hurts.

Next, it’s back to the Nightcar floor. Miss Gillies is engaging in some very gay dancing, and I love that for her! Mr. Wilford is talking about his wine cellar or something, but it’s not as interesting as the dancing in the background. Layton leads a toast to Mr. Wilford. Till is definitely gonna kick her big brother later. Layton and Wilford have a chat for a bit, and then Miss Audrey takes the stage. She’s perfect, she’s beautiful, she looks like Linda Evangelista, she’s a model. Did she stone those tights???

Yet again, Audrey’s song choice is painfully on-the-nose, including lines such as

I’m so tired

Gonna give my heart away

This is the beginning of forever and ever

It’s all I wanna be

Sigh.

Layton hugs Zarah from behind with his hand on her belly for one of the ‘give me a reason to love you’ lines, and I think it’s the furthest my eyes have rolled in this series so far. We also get an opportunity to take in the bondage gear, animal masks and drawn-on curly moustaches that the guests are wearing. Fun!

Then, Audrey and Wilford come face-to-face and I HATE IT. They do some suggestive flirting and I HATE IT. Then, she leads him away to show him what she’s done to the Nightcar AND I HATE IT!

The next scene is of Audrey and Wilford in the experience room. Wilford repeats his gross “let me see what the years have done to you” line, and Audrey sits next to him. He takes her hand, and he tells her she’s different. She explains that the freeze changed everyone, and the Nightcar, too. He begins to run his hand inside her sleeve, along the scar we saw before the opening credits, and she quickly gets up and moves away. Then, Audrey explains the new Nightcar to Wilford, and starts doing her Nightcar thing.

Outside, Ruth is speculating about what Wilford and Audrey are up to, but Layton doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t know how right he is. The balloon thing will happen in forty minutes, and Wilford can do what he likes until then. Ruth just needs to make sure that Wilford’s guests are happy. Talking of which, Murray offers Emilia more wine. They both realise that they aren’t the last Australian!

It’s not enough to make this episode not-sad, but it’s very sweet all the same.

Alex notices LJ and begins to follow the train’s resident dick chopper upstairs. Remember when Ruth promised Melanie she’d look out for Alex? Shouldn’t she be stopping this? Anyway, Alex passes by Till on the way, so we catch up with her, too. Till isn’t wearing her detective coat! She does a bit of depressed-flirting with one of the bartenders, and then the scene cuts back to LJ and Alex. They could both do with some friends their own age, and get off to a great start - LJ calls Alex a dork, and Alex calls LJ a bitch.

Alex and LJ are hanging out in the observatory. They can see the aurora borealis! But LJ is much more interested in showing Alex the encyclopedias she stole from her new boss. She also stole a joint. Auntie Ruth! Where are you? This 15/17 year old shouldn’t be reading encyclopedias!

Bitch and Dork then ditch the party. Where is Ruth??? She should definitely not be allowing Alex to sneak off with a recently convicted violent criminal!

Next, we catch up with Till again. Somehow, her line worked! She’s making out with the hot bartender on a sofa! We also catch up with Sykes, who is making the most of the snacks, and Emilia, who is still chatting with Murray. She’s not supposed to give him too many details about Big Alice, and he suggests they can keep in touch via his lucky goggles. This being Snowpiercer, I had assumed his goggles were just an eccentric fashion statement the whole time! I am intrigued to know what they do!

In his Nightcar experience, Wilford is taken back to… the Nightcar. Of course he is! He’s dancing with Audrey, before the freeze. Then, the experience changes. He’s in the murder bath. Audrey joins him. He hands her the razor. In the experience, she shakes her head. In real life, she desperately says “no”, then heartbreakingly tells him that he made her cut her own wrists. And he replies, “But I saved you.” They stare at each other for a while, and then he tells her “I want it, Audrey.” She desperately says no again, and he begs on his knees.

After a little of his begging, her expression changes - she no longer looks scared. She places a foot on his chest, and pushes him down further. He’s still begging, and she reaches for a plate of fruit. And we all know what happens next!

Yeahhhhhh I’m not recapping that part.

Ruth gives the five minute warning to Layton, who relays it to Zarah. So, that must mean that Miss Audrey has been in the room with Wilford for at least thirty five minutes. That’s longer than Zarah promised! Zarah knocks on the door, calls out the five minute warning, then walks in to find Wilford in Audrey’s lap, being hand-fed fruit. Audrey and Zarah make eye contact, and Zarah just leaves. She said she’d get Audrey! Not just say hi and leave! NOOOOO!

In the observatory, LJ and Alex are getting high and talking about their parents. Alex admits that she didn’t know that she was going to care about Melanie as much as she does. Then, they look out at the balloon together. Alex says that they’re probably at the altitude for the uplink so she should probably go, and it’s just too dorky for LJ to handle! LJ suggests that they shouldn’t be friends. Alex agrees - they’ll be total enemies. That is not a clever thing to say to LJ Dick-Chopper Folger!

Back in the Nightcar, it’s almost time for the weather balloon to connect. Ruth and Layton try to help Alex feel better. They aren’t awful with kids, but they’re not great, either. Wilford enters, holding one of the light-up helium balloons that have decorated the Nightcar. I hope he accidentally lets go of it and it flies away and it makes him cry.

The engine bros greet the crowd and explain that the balloon is almost ready for Melanie to connect. Layton takes Zarah’s hand, and she take’s Ruth’s. Mr. Wilford pops his party balloon in the tense silence, causing everyone to jump. Then, he remembers he’s trying to make friends, so he apologises to the crowd. It’s nice to know he’s capable of it!

The signal takes a few seconds longer than expected, and it’s very tense! Everyone except Wilford watches on anxiously. Then, there’s a huge collective (except Wilford) relief when the balloon connects and makes its little ping sound.

After that, we catch up with various characters in the aftermath of the party. Audrey is dancing and contemplating her scar, as she was in the opening scene. Alex is looking at the research station on the map in her bunk, and the engine bros are having a beer together. Layton interrupts Audrey’s rehearsal to ask what happened between her and Wilford, and whether he should be worried. Audrey, still dancing, replies, “trust me - he’s exactly where we want him.” But it’s intercut with short flashbacks of the bath, the fruit scene, and the old Nightcar. AUDREY! NOOOO!

In the final scene, Wilford (wearing another dressing gown) wanders through the Big Alice lab and peers into the sterile recovery room. By the time Josie looks at the door, he’s gone. If only he could do more of that, and go away forever!

#snowpiercer 2.04 #snowpiercer s2e4 #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer season 2

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 2, episode 3: The Phone, the Throne and the Ben-Free Zone

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e3: A Great Odyssey. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

Mr. Wilford monologues today, while he brews himself a questionable drink, writes in his diary, and feeds Jupiter. He believes that he wields his knowledge like a sword, and tells us that “Great men say, ‘balls to death’”. Is he implying that Osweillwer is a great man? Remember when Brakeman Blowie literally said “balls to this” in episode 8, because he was worried the tailies would kill him? No. Osweiller is not a great man.

Wilford sparks up, puts on a record, and addresses Big Alice. The passengers are lions, ready to reclaim Snowpiercer from a gibbering pack of hyenas! Emilia and Alex are unimpressed by Wilford’s bullshit, and so am I. He continues to praise Icy Bob - everyone should make sacrifices like Bob! Bob, Wilford, Jupiter and Sykes walk through the train to applause while Wilford’s speech concludes, “... for the day we retake what’s mine.” Does he hear himself?

In the lab, Bob stands next to Mrs. Dr. Headwood to demonstrate that he’s really fuckin’ big.

He enters a cold chamber, and Wilford continues his voiceover monologue. “Apocalypse isn’t so bad, really… people line up for tickets to the only show in town - aboard Snowpiercer.” This man seriously needs to be stopped.

After the opening credits, Melanie and Bennett are spooning in the bunk room. She’s sad, and he tries to comfort her in the eugenics library. But Melanie isn’t worried about what the mission means for her leadership - she’s worried about what it means for her motherhood. Bennett tries again: if the Earth really is warming, then she needs to go for Alex! Melanie reassures herself that it’s only for a month.

On Big Alice, there’s an hour until the track change. Alex has taken over Josie’s swearing responsibilities while she recovers, and declares that it’s going to be a shitshow getting the train over the mountain. Wilford and Alex chat and eat, with Wilford periodically getting up and down from his seat to be as overdramatic as possible. He’s tingling. Melanie is departing on a veritable suicide mission! This will be much more fun than making Alex murder Layton! Please can someone get this child away from this man!

Next, the two engines make contact. Apparently they’ve set up comms since the last episode. The engineers take it in turns to explain the plan to the viewers: they need to go over the rocky mountain test track to get Melanie as close as possible to the research station, but Snowpiercer needs to slow down to get through the Berthoud curve, they won’t have enough speed to make it up the mountain unless Big Alice hits their booster after the curve.

Sounds simple enough to me! But this is a TV show, so something will definitely go wrong.

Layton asks what will happen if it doesn’t work, and Wilford is surprised to hear him among the engineers! Layton explains the new civilian oversight policy, and Wilford scoffs while Alex answers the question: if it doesn’t work, they have to reverse and go around the whole world to come at it from the other side. And the mission can’t wait that long, for an unspecified reason.

Melanie hands Ruth a list of required supplies (on the wrong stationery!) and asks for permission to board with Ben to collect equipment. But Big Alice is a Ben-Free Zone! Alex can help instead - which was surely Melanie’s plan all along, given that she’s going to be leaving in a matter of hours and will want to spend time with her daughter before she goes.

They get ready to head down to the border. Ruth still hasn’t forgiven Melanie (for the breakup, or stationery incident) and won’t accept Melanie’s thanks for delivering the list. Melanie advises Layton to never lie to Ruth, because “she’s a rare straight arrow, if you can keep her.” Straight!? Fanfiction writers beg to differ!

Ruth is carrying the list of supplies to the border, which seems pretty unnecessary now that they have comms set up, but allows her to bump into Roche in the corridor. He asks her what’s going on, and she drops yet another iconic Ruth line, “Engineers and mountains, almost as big as their egos.”

After a little banter with Ruth, Roche chips into the lockup room to find Till getting dressed in a delightfully gay outfit. They have an awkward greeting, then he unpacks his lunchbox and asks if she’s sleeping there.

Ah. Till had to move out of Jinju’s apartment, and presumably her old place had already been reassigned. So that’s why she was so snarky about her brother’s new apartment last episode! Roche suggests that Layton should be able to pull some strings to get Till a place to stay, but Till has more important things to worry about than being homeless. Our girl wasn’t kidding when she told Layton she was depressed! To make herself feel a bit better, she pulls on her new detective coat and then her dad takes her for a nice day out at the border.

Ruth is busy stamping passports at the border desk, and Pike is complaining about how it’s ruining his weed trade. Ruth is in full Ruth mode. When the border rotary phone (yep, that’s a thing!) rings, Ruth gets everyone’s attention, refers to the phonecall as “the bell of progress”, then tells them all to be on their best behaviour. Wilford isn’t about to be outdone by a quirky phone and an eccentric Hospitality worker, though! Sykes opens the border door to reveal that Wilford is literally sitting on a fucking throne. These people!

Sykes brings out the paperwork, and Ruth asks why Kevin isn’t doing it. Wilford explains that Kevin is sick. Perhaps he contracted a disease when he was kidnapped? Or perhaps he took a murder bath? Who knows! Wilford asks whether Layton has seen his “frenemy’s” shopping list - he’s hip and young and knows all the rad new lingo! Wilford and Melanie negotiate the list, and although it’s only episode three their arguing is already getting tiresome. We get it, you hate each other! Hurry up!

Layton adds on some more requests, and proposes a trade: they’ll send fresh food in exchange for spare parts for Snowpiercer. Then, Layton tries to throw a tomato to Sykes.

I could happily watch an entire episode of Sykes staring people down.

Melanie asks for permission to board Big Alice, and Ruth sees her opportunity: with Kevin off sick, Big Alice is in need of a qualified Hospitality worker! Ruth offers to escort Melanie, but Wilford turns her down.

As Wilford walks Melanie through the train, he tells us that there are twenty seven Big Alice cars stacked full of supplies, and that he’s beginning to believe Melanie’s warming world hypothesis. He sarcastically congratulates her for filling the train with hope, then says it’s a shame that she’s going to freeze herself to death for the data. Alex laughs from the balcony, and Wilford asks her, “Do you find that tragicomic too, Alex?” But no. Alex believes her mother will be fine, and dismisses Wilford.

Alex then sets up some more future plot: if Melanie has to take any detours, the sled will run out of fuel before she reaches the station. Melanie isn’t worried, but Alex is! What if the solar panels at the station don’t work properly any more? They take a break from packing to have a chat. Melanie hasn’t seen any other kids on the train, and those of us who have seen s2e9 know why! Alex replies that she’s the youngest crew member. Does Alex have friends? Rude! Alex’s silence suggests not. Alex wants to know what Melanie expects from their time together. Melanie replies, “As much as possible,” which brings the sweary, moody teenager back!

Ouch.

Melanie apologises, and insists that she’s only choosing to go because there’s not much chance of a world for Alex if she doesn’t. Alex finally concedes, and continues to let her mother get to know her.

Back on Snowpiercer, we’re in for another emotionally tense reunion! Layton is visiting Josie in the clinic. Some tailies filter out of the room, and Mama Grande tells Layton that Josie knows everything. Uh oh. This is going to be rough. Layton cracks out those chess skills he mentioned and greets Josie with an apology. Josie scoffs. She isn’t bothered that Layton is back with Zarah - after all, Josie was dead. Layton relaxes a little, but Josie is still pissed at him - not because he’s having a baby with Zarah, but because he immediately allied with the woman who starved them, enslaved them, and tortured her to the brink of death. Fair point!

Layton impatiently explains that he had to make the alliance, but Josie doesn’t seem convinced. Layton sacrificed 35 tailies in Melanie’s disconnection plan, and he hasn’t given the survivors anything that was promised! The tailies are already questioning his leadership.

Layton believes in Melanie’s mission, though. And he needs to defend it from Mr. Wilford. Josie doesn’t back down. Layton insists that he’s still a tailie, but Josie tells him that he’s going to need her support if their people are going to believe him. (Sidenote: we know that Snowpiercer is out of morphine, so I have no idea how the fuck Josie is dealing with the pain of full-body frostbite aside from the fact that she’s really fucking badass!)

Down in the mopping mafia office, Pike and Terrence-Never-Terry are chatting about weed. Pike thinks he’ll be able to get trade up and running again soon, and Terrence-Never-Terry kicks him out because it looks bad to hang out with a tailie.

Talking of tailies, we catch up with Lights, next. Till has brought her dad and brother along to prove that she was right about the conspiracy! Layton is keen to help his old friends given what Josie just told him, so he’s working the case for a few minutes. Lights shows her hand to Layton, and insists that she didn’t see her attackers - they covered her head and it was over in seconds. Winnie saw some people run away, but they were wearing masks.

According to the track talk (yeah, they're still trying to make that happen!), breachmen attacked Lights. The tailies rally together, and promise to protect each other. And then, there’s another slightly gay moment between Till and Lights.

HELP.

Roche, Till and her detective coat are going to visit the breachmen to investigate the only lead they have so far. Roche hates the breachmen. Till suggests he should do what she does: think of them as firemen. Why are all these people men? Anyway, Boki is offended that Till and Roche just chipped themselves in - Till knows that cops aren’t welcome at the queer gym! They have a very sarcastic and mean discussion full of pretty baseless accusations, but the breachmen insist that they’re just innocently waiting for Wilford.

Back on Big Alice, Alex shows Melanie to her bunk. It’s not as bad as the tail, at least! Alex’s bunk is covered in pictures and string, mapping out the train’s route. Alex explains that she used to draw Melanie, to picture what she looked like. She’s an incredibly talented artist for a teenager! Melanie thinks so, too. Alex then repays her mother’s compliment: Wilford says that Melanie is the best driver he’s ever seen.

Alex has a map of the rocky mountain test track on the ceiling of her bunk, and they use the map to tell us the plan again: booster, volt sled, balloons blah blah blah. Alex points out that their plan is “some crazy shit, mom!” Melanie laughs, then decides to show Alex some even crazier shit.

Apparently Melanie can feel that Snowpiercer is already in the mountains up ahead, and that there’s a misaligned wheel. I’m surprised Wilford hasn’t tried to burn her as a witch.

In Snowpiercer’s engine car, Layton is catching Bennett up on the trade talks while Bennett packs up some supplies for Melanie. We get a bit more information on Wilford, and some vague Bennett backstory. When Wilford chooses you, you enter his court. At first, it’s amazing. But then, the knives come out. Wilford divides people for sport. Melanie and Ben refused to let him. Layton jokes that maybe that’s why Big Alice is a Ben-Free Zone, and Ben agrees. Then, Bennett continues with his warning: Wilford’s brand of jealousy is all about control. Layton wants to find a way to use that, and he and Bennett agree that they won’t keep secrets from each other.

Next, we catch up with the Headwoods. They’re pushing bloody lumps of snow around the lab floor, in what seems more likely to be an experiment than a genuine attempts at cleaning. Wilford asks for an update on Icy Bob. He spent 54 minutes at 94 below zero! But that’s not enough: Wilford wants colder and longer. And the Headwoods don’t have the whole month - just two weeks.

Up in Big Alice’s engine, Alex is trying out Melanie’s train feeling magic. It turns out Melanie was right about the misaligned wheel. Wilford is worried that Alex is getting sentimental... ABOUT HER OWN MOTHER. Yeah dude, that’s kinda how that works? He gets Alex to say that they want Melanie off the train. Please can someone get this child away from this man!

Melanie’s voice comes over the comms, and Wilford informs her that Alex will drive the most difficult part of the journey. The Snowpiercer crew share furious looks, but over the comms they concentrate on making Alex feel better.

The Snowpiercer enginners need to draw power from First and Second to run fast enough. It’s not a new decision, so I don’t understand why weren’t they doing it earlier? Or, why didn’t they at least give Ruth a bit more warning to get the passengers to the muster stations? For the drama, I guess?

In the rest of the train, Tristan does a terrible but hilarious emergency announcement to instruct the passengers to the muster stations. Zarah stands in the way to direct people through the completely straight route that they’ve all regularly taken for the last seven years. And Layton runs against the flow of traffic to visit Josie. Great job, everyone!

It’s a good job that Layton went to the clinic, because Josie has decided to cut away her face bandages. Right now, with the train shaking so much that passengers were just thrown against the walls, Josie has got scissors by her face. Is her brain still defrosting? She asks Layton to help, and he grimaces and winces as he slowly peels the bandages away. When Josie looks in the mirror, her face is too injured to express any emotion.

In the engine, the engineers are realising that may not be able to get the extra power that they need in time. I still can’t understand why they didn’t start drawing the extra power sooner! They’re going to have to hit the booster before the curve, which risks derailing them if they don’t find exactly the right speed. Wilford plans to make Alex do it. Again, Snowpiercer’s crew are angry with Wilford, but they don’t give him the satisfaction of voicing it and instead focus on giving Alex a confidence boost. Wilford gloats.

Please can someone get this child away from this man!

The Nightcar is full of passengers, and Audrey is drunkenly addressing them. Roche asks Till and her detective coat what’s happening, and she very plainly explains, “She’s cracking, Roche. We all are, if you haven’t noticed.” That’s two episodes where Till has tried to tell someone that she’s struggling, and two episodes where the person has completely ignored her! Keep going, sweetie. Someone will help you, eventually.

Ruth informs Melanie that the passengers are all mustered, and the shutdown can go ahead. They aren’t back to their old flirty ways, but Ruth is, at least, a little warmer towards Melanie. Bennett powers down, then the engineers make contact again. Alex is ready to hit the booster. Melanie is proud of Alex, and Alex can barely hold back tears.

So, Wilford taunts Alex! He thinks Alex wants the journey to fail, so that she can spend more time with “Mummy”. Alex proves him wrong and pushes the booster button. They almost derail, but it’s only episode three so it all turns out fine! Melanie congratulates her daughter, and Wilford’s a dick. Please can someone get this child away from this man!

Wilford cuts comms, and demands that Alex looks at him. It’s been a rough day! Of course the kid is crying! He tells her “That’s the last tear I’ll allow.” What a thoroughly horrible person. Please can someone get this child away from this man!

In the next scene, Wilford has removed his jacket and begun to drink. He’s listening to music, and mimes conducting it - because of course he does! He berates Alex a bit, but now that the difficult driving is over, she’s free to storm off - even Jupiter can’t stop her!

In the Nightcar, Till and her detective coat are glaring at the breach workers, while Zarah takes care of the very drunk Miss Audrey. Pastor Logan has been eavesdropping on Till and Roche’s conversation, and interrupts to ask them what they’re worried about. Till is worried that the people didn’t get a chance to trust the new system before Wilford descended. Pastor Logan is thrilled: Till basically just said that she’s concerned about people’s souls! He tries to give her a St. Christopher necklace (for luck and protection for travellers - nice!). Roche quietly watches on, intrigued. Till doesn’t think the necklace will help, but she takes it anyway.

Up in the clinic, Josie is recounting all the gory details of her torture so that Layton realises how fucked up it is that he’s trying to defend Melanie to Josie. She also says this:

So, uh, who’s gonna write that fanfic?

Layton kisses Josie’s hand, and she tells him that his child is going to be a guiding light for all of them. Ugh. At least it wasn’t “hope” again. Josie then says that she agrees that they need a future offtrain, so she’s going to convince the tailies to support the mission.

In the engine, Melanie and Bennett kiss goodbye while Javi drives. Then Melanie, Layton and Ruth take the subtrain to the border. Layton and Melanie go over their plan one more time: Layton’s main priority is to protect the science, which will require holding off Wilford. Layton suspects that Wilford is too much of a megalomaniac to ever want people to leave the train, which definitely also hints at the idea that Wilford may have caused the freeze!

Melanie reiterates one more time that the success of the mission will be measured by data, not by her survival. She knows Wilford well enough to know that he plans to leave her there. Also, dying to save the planet is the only way she’s come up with to redeem herself of her actions in season one! They shake hands and wish each other luck, and then Melanie heads to the border.

Layton then has a quick chat with Pike. Remember in season one when Layton told Melanie and Roche that authoritarian states usually control their own drug trade? Well, he wants Pike to start importing Amazing Alice!

At the border, Melanie and Ruth are still feeling awkward after their breakup.

Melanie Tells Ruth that Layton is a good man. Ruth retorts that people don’t stay good for long when they run the train. Ouch! Melanie doesn’t want to waste their last moments arguing, so she changes the subject. Her voice breaks as she asks Ruth to promise that she’ll look after Alex. Presumably for the rest of their lives, considering that Melanie is expecting to die on this mission? With tears in her eyes, Ruth promises, “Of course I will. You have my word.” It’s a very sweet moment, but Ruth and Alex aren’t even on the same train! How’s that going to work?

Just before Melanie crosses the border, Ruth calls her back to tell her they’ll all be waiting for her. Aww, they’ve made up just in time!

In the final scene, Melanie then gets dressed up with Alex’s help. They distract themselves from how sad they are by talking through what Melanie will do on her first day at the station. To fix the damage, Melanie will improvise! Alex seems a lot more comforted by that than I would be.

Then, Melanie gives Alex an important talk about how to deal with Wilford. The bad things that he makes her do are his cruelty, not hers. Remember last episode when the first thing that Melanie told Layton about Alex was that she’s cruel? She’s come so far! They hug and cry and Alex admits that she wanted to hit the breaks, so that Melanie would stay. Melanie sees an opportunity to redeem herself while comforting her daughter, so tells Alex that they did what they had to do. Clever move.

Melanie then tells Alex that she can trust the people of Snowpiercer, and that she loves her. Alex shuts Melanie into the coldlock, and they both press their hands up to the window. And then, Melanie [redacted] Cavill jumps off a moving train.

#snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer s2e3 #snowpiercer 2.03 #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer season 2 #snowpiercer

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 2, episode 2: Global Thawing?

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e2: Smolder to Life. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

Melaine does the monologue this episode, talking about her life on the farm and fires smoldering back to life over some nighttime shots of outside (including a lighthouse!). Then, we see that Melanie is finally sleeping! I’m so happy for her! She’s back in the Big Alice brig, and having some kind of sleep paralysis moment watching creepy baby Alex gut a rabbit.

But it’s not long before the real Alex walks in and wakes Melanie up. The highly multidisciplinary Headwoods have analysed the snow sample: it’s water, dirt, and probably-volcanic ammonium sulphate. We also see more graffiti in the background, which says “WTF?” and “COLD” and yep! Those phases provide a good summary of this episode/season/show!

Alex tells Melanie some of Wilford’s thoughts on different types of people in the world, and Melanie wants to know Alex’s opinion on it all. Alex thinks that Wilford says a lot when he’s high. It’s sad that she knows that at such a young age, but encouraging that she’s hesitant to believe everything that he says.

After the opening credits, Layton and Zarah are enjoying a nice, tense morning in their new First class apartment. They greet each other in the living room, implying they probably did sleep in separate rooms. Layton wants Zarah to stay out of Third, because of how hated they both are. Zarah sets up that she’ll work in the Second class clinic, instead of Third. Then, Layton and Zarah find the one thing they agree on: gendered baby names! If it’s a girl they’re gonna name it after Zarah’s mom. And if it’s a boy?

I doubt it matters: Wilford is gonna kidnap the kid and call it Rebecca, anyway.

Till comes to pick up her big brother, and makes a dig about how nice his new apartment is. They then proceed to walk through the train like cops. Till’s not doing well, but they don’t have time to talk about that! Half the population think Wilford will save them from Layton, and half think Wilford will kill them all. And there’s still a lot of tailie hate - someone was even assaulted by the tea room last night. Till doesn’t know who, and Layton asks her to find out. But she’s not a Brakeman any more - she just follows her big brother around!

Layton knows how to make his little sister feel better: they’ll interrupt their dad’s breakfast! Does Roche ever get to eat in peace? Layton and Roche each grab one of Till’s hands, placing one in the air and one on the Wilford Bible to swear her in as train detective. The ceremony lasts approximately two seconds, and neither Layton or Roche seem very enthused. Till herself is actively against the idea - she didn’t ask for it! She’s not ready! Neither her dad nor brother give a fuck about those very valid concerns.

Till then sounds very sad as she tells the others that she’s seen enough blood for a while. She would have seen less if she’d washed her face and changed her clothes at any point in episode nine or ten, but hey! Till eventually agrees to take the job, and heads off on her first case: she’s going to investigate the tailie assault, while Roche and Layton interrogate Kevin.

The interrogation begins immediately. They conduct it in the lockup room, rather than the torturey hospitality room. Kevin won’t tell Roche and Layton how many people he’s looking after, though. Nor any other details about Big Alice. Kevin doesn’t fear Wilford - he adores him.

Roche and Layton share another mildly concerned look. Is this what Ruth would be like if she’d spent any time with Wilford? Kevin isn’t going to say any more, so the interrogators bring out their secret weapon: chicken wings! Melanie probably should have at least given that a try in episode seven, before cracking out the finger freezing hose. Kevin briefly pretends to act cool, but veganuary was harder than he thought so he lunges for the plate and starts to stuff chicken into his mouth. When Kevin doesn’t answer Layton’s first question, the plate is taken away from him. He immediately starts talking. Icy Bob has been augmented for cold resistance by science, and there are 100 people on Big Alice. He’s rewarded with more chicken.

On Big Alice, Alex is serving up some Wilford-branded spam. (sidenote: it’s human meat, right?) Melanie politely declines. Wilford is in a better mood today, and swans into the room in his dressing gown calling “wooh-wooh!”. Because, of course he does! He then teases Melanie about her snow sample, and explains that he still has some moves left. He could slow right down and drain Snowpiercer’s power. The Big Alice crew are tough enough to survive power outages for a while, but Snowpiercer’s delicate society will tear each other apart when they get cold and hungry. It’s probably true. Wilford announces that he wants to meet Layton.

At the border, it’s Pike’s turn to live his heist movie fantasy. Lights did a better job: Pike only hears something when the door is practically already open. A small red bag is dropped through the door, and then it shuts again. ZWreck suggests the bag might be poison, and Pike knows exactly who could do with a bit of that!

Ruth! She gets better every episode and I'm here for it.

Ruth reads the letter to Layton, Roche and Bennett. Wilford wants to exchange prisoners and meet Layton. Bennett is all for it, but Roche thinks that Layton might get shot. Ruth doesn’t want to assume bad faith! They’re going to have to talk at some point, now that Melanie’s stuck them together. Bennett hates working with Wilford. Layton can’t figure out Mr. Wilford’s play. Ruth suggests that, actually, Mr. Willford just loves hospitality! Kevin is very valuable to him, and that’s why Mr. Wilford wants Kevin returned! Mhm. They’re going to agree to the exchange.

At the border, Wilford and Layton finally come face-to-face. Mr. Wilford is charming to Roche and Ruth, but Layton is all business. Melanie wants to see Alex before she goes, but it’s kinda late to be making demands now, Mel! Kevin makes it to Big Alice and runs to safety, but Before Melanie is through the door Alex bursts forward! Pike tells ZWreck - who has been pointing a crossbow into Big Alice the whole time - to take the shot at the sudden movement. What the fuck, Pike? Thankfully, ZWreck is feeling a bit calmer after a good night’s sleep and doesn’t immediately shoot at the child running towards her mother. Phew!

Alex has come to return Melanie’s snow sample. She wants to know what it really is. Melanie doesn’t know, and invites Alex to go to Snowpiercer with her, to study it together. But Alex tells Melanie that she’s seven years too late. In another moody teen moment, she smashes the sample and storms off again.

Layton and Melanie walk together, and get caught up on the two trains. Melanie thinks Wilford doesn’t know what to do next, but warns Layton that Wilford is coming for him. Layton asks about Alex, and Melanie laments that Alex is cruel and hates her. Layton tries to cheer Melanie up - Alex is just being a teenager! Melanie refuses to go to a doctor, and fails to mention that it’s because she already saw doctors on Big Alice. Layton and Melanie then catch the subtrain up to the engine, even though it’d only be a five minute run!

In the clinic, Till is trying to visit the assaulted tailie. But ZWreck and Strong Boy are working unofficial clinic security, and won’t let any Brakemen in. Till tells them that her dad and her big brother actually just made her train detective! Didn’t ZWreck and Strong Boy notice her nice new detective coat? Till tries to barge past them, and a scuffle ensues until Dr. Pelton opens the door to yell at the noisy neighbourhood kids to get off her lawn!

The doctor allows Till into the clinic and leads her past injured patients to the assaulted tailie. It’s Lights. That’s why Pike was listening at the door earlier! They greet eachother, and Lights calls Till, “Bess”, which feels a little gay to me?

Is that just wishful thinking?

Bess asks what happened, and Winnie tells her that Lights’ fingers have been cut off. Lights didn’t see who did it, and isn’t sure of any other details either. She just wants to go. Astrid’s theory is that it was a message to the tail: with an injured hand, Lights can’t work. Lights is too upset to talk much more, and heads back to the tail.

Up in the bunk room, no one is bothering to drive the train because they all want a peek at Melanie’s frostbitten shoulder. Bennett’s hand tattoo (a triangle on his ring finger) gets a bit of screentime as he removes Melanie’s dressing. Melanie tells the other engineers that the Headwoods survived, and they’re doing a load of sci-fi stuff. Also, it really was snowing outside! And there’s ammonium sulphate to prove it.

On Big Alice, Kevin enters Wilford’s lair to give his report. Wilford is wearing another dressing gown, and running another bath. Because, of course he is! Wilford invites Kevin into the bathroom, and asks how hot Kevin would like the water. Kevin is surprised to learn that the bath will be for him! How generous! He tries to decline, but Wilford insists - Kevin can have a nice bath and tell Wilford all about Snowpiercer.

Kevin begins to undress and give his report on Snowpiercer, while Wilford dramatically throws some bath salts into the water. After six episodes, I had been lulled into a false sense of security that the naked ass phase was well and truly over. But no! Kevin’s ass is on full display as he climbs into the bath. Wilford then asks Kevin what he revealed about Big Alice, and Kevin insists that he didn’t tell them anything. Alex appears in the doorway and asks whether Kevin ate on Snowpiercer. Uh oh.

Kevin explains that he had a few bites of the lunch that they provided - it seemed appropriate. Wilford dismisses Alex from bathtime. Alex seals herself in the engine and starts playing music through her headphones. Uh oh.

Wilford then disrobes. Season 2, episode 2, ass count 2! He joins Kevin in the bath. Kevin showed Snowpiercer’s people that Big Alice’s people are hungry - and Wilford isn’t just talking about the chicken. He also knows about the mango at the border. Uh oh. I don’t want to rewatch the rest of the scene, so here are the facts: Wilford makes Kevin cut his wrist in the bath, and Jupiter comes in to lap at the bloody water. Next!

On Snowpiercer, Zarah is asked to take some clinic supplies to the recovery room. Through a gap in the curtains, she sees an unconscious patient. She looks back to her supplies, then she realises that the patient looked familiar. She looks again. It’s Josie!

The traditional naked ass shot isn’t the only thing getting resurrected this episode: our beloved British badass is back!

The nurse tells Zarah (the viewers) that the unidentified patient has been in the clinic since before the fighting began, unconscious the whole time. Her frostbite is so severe that she may never wake up. The nurse asks if Zarah knows the patient, but Zarah lies. When the nurse leaves, Zarah closes the curtains, takes a bottle of pentobarbital sodium from a safe, and injects it into Josie’s IV bag! What the fuck, Zarah?

Zarah leaves the clinic, then does something that many characters in this show could benefit from: she pauses and has a little think about what the fuck she’s just done. Then, she rushes back into the room, changes Josie’s IV for a fresh one, and collapses to the floor in relief that she didn’t just spontaneously murder someone after avoiding all the fighting for twelve episodes.

Till and her new detective coat flounce through the train to Pastor Logan’s tea room. She’s looking for anyone who may have witnessed the assault. The detective and the pastor have a little chat, and we learn a tiny bit of Till's backstory: her dad was “Jesus-y”. Then, she changes the topic to the teacup shrine. Pastor Logan explains that everyone sees the cup from a different angle. The cup is a God metaphor, and apparently it also helps everyone to get along.

Till asks the Pastor how the train feels while she stares at a literal shrine to Wilford.

Yep.

Wilford was assumed dead, then he returned. Resurrection is a powerful narrative. I know this is supposed to be about Wilford and how he’s got a godlike status on Snowpiercer, but it’s a very interesting choice to have this scene directly after showing Josie in the clinic! She’s closer to being resurrected than Wilford is! And a far preferable leader. Are they both going to have Jesus-like status at some point in this show? It could explain why their names are so similar…

Anyway, Pastor Logan and Till talk some more but I hate this whole storyline. Next!

Terrence-Never-Terry and Pike are trading weed for Encyclopedias. Sure! Terrence-Never-Terry would like to do more trade, but Pike’s supply has been interrupted ever since that time he used a mango to break into Big Alice and kidnap their Head of Hospitality. JAnnietor interrupts them to announce visitors: Train Psycho and Brakeman Blowie! Osweiller wants to get back in with Terrence-Never-Terry’s black market. What can the two of them provide? Osweiller thinks he can fight, and LJ has connections on Big Alice.

But Terrence-Never-Terry doesn’t want the trouble that follows Osweiller and LJ. Osweiller says they’ll work for it, and LJ is shocked and appalled by the offer. Terrence-Never-Terry isn’t going to pass up an opportunity to make the train’s resident dick chopper clean out a backed up septic tank! It’s probably the closest they’ll ever get to justice! He hands her a mop, and she physically recoils from it. But Osweiller accepts the job.

In the Nightcar, Zarah is seeking advice on whether or not to murder Josie. Miss Audrey is lying on a sofa and smoking a pipe of Amazing Alice, wearing nothing but underwear, a robe and heels. Queen! She’s pretty mean compared to their chat in season one. Audrey tells Zarah that Layton has to prepare for Wilford, that Layton is Snowpiercer’s only chance at a new life, and that Zarah should, therefore, protect him at any cost. Then, Audrey softens up. She gently holds Zarah’s face and reminds her:

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of a thousand lesbians typing Audrey/Zarah fanfiction.

Outside the train, a little weather balloon is launched from the engine car. Javi tells Layton (the viewers) that CW-7 was fired into the atmosphere to reflect the sun and reverse global warming. If Melanie is right about the snow and the ammonium sulphate, then maybe the CW-7 is breaking down. If it’s breaking down, then all of their current climate models are wrong, and the Earth could be warming up much faster than previously expected. They need to check the temperature high up in the sky, and that’s apparently the engineers’ job? Did all the climate scientists die? Anyway, the little weather balloon starts reporting that it’s warmer up there. The Earth is coming back to life!

And it’s excellent timing: Snopwiercer really needs something to unite the people right now! Announcing a climate science mission would give them hope. Layton talks to Melanie about how he used to play a lot of chess with his mentor in the tail, Old Ivan. He knows how to play an opponent with a good ego: you give them the centre of the board. That’s what they’ll do with Wilford. If Wilford wants to fight Snowpiercer’s hope, then they’re going to make him do it openly.

Melanie thinks it’s risky to give Wilford a stage, but Layton points out that they’ll need to talk to Wilford eventually. That brings them to Ruth. Layton needs her on his side.

So, we’re treated to another incredible Ruth sequence! She carefully folds a communiqué, seals it with wax, rubs her perfume on it, then zips it into its bag. All the while, Layton waits impatiently behind her. Then, Ruth once again makes her way through the train, telling people to make way and stand aside because there’s a communiqué coming through.

Sykes delivers the message to Wilford, and we finally find out what it says! The people of Snowpiercer have an urgent scientific discovery to discuss, and Wilford is invited to a summit in First Class Dining. Sykes says it’s a non-starter - Layton is bluffing to draw Wilford out. Alex thinks there truly is a discovery, which means that Melanie must have been lying about the sample. Wilford isn’t worried about being exposed, because Layton would be exposed, too. Wilford is thrilled at the idea of having an audience, and also an opportunity to attack Layton! He’s accepting the invitation.

Back on Snowpiercer, Ruth is addressing Hospitality.

I don’t understand half of her speech, but I don’t care. She’s Ruthing hard and it’s a joy to behold.

Till and her detective coat run into the dining room to talk to Layton about Lights. She gets him up to speed with the facts, then hugs herself again and speculates that the attack was organised. Roche patronises Till - she’s only been on the job three hours and she’s already got a conspiracy! It gives us a clue about the timeline, though. This whole episode has taken place over three hours!? Okay! That also means that Till must have changed into her new detective outfit immediately after getting her promotion, which is hilarious. How long has she had that coat lying around for when she finally became a real detective? Adorable.

On Big Alice, Alex is using a hand mirror to check how well she can hide a razor blade in her cheek. Yikes! She’s dressed up in a shirt, tie and jacket. Wilford and Alex have a little competition to see how steady their hands are, and then he reassures her that Icy Bob and Sykes will have her back. Layton’s just a blip - people are grateful to Wilford, really. Alex asks Wilford, “But having me do it, that’s just about punishing Melanie, right?”

Wilford explains that Melanie stole the train from him, then Layton stole it from Melanie, and therefore it’s fitting for Alex, as Melanie’s daughter, to “Make things right.” i.e. Murder Layton. Wilford can’t wait for Alex to see Snowpiercer and to take the helm. He then tells her that it won’t be like Kevin, and that part of her will question it. But she has to bolt the questions out. He’s so evil. This whole scene is horrible!

Meanwhile, Zarah is visiting Josie in the clinic again. She says that Josie is strong, and that people look to her for the right thing to do. How cute! Are they gonna be friends? Oh, no, that was just preamble to Zarah menacingly leaning in to Josie and telling her not to take her path away from her. The woman is unconscious, Zarah! At least have the guts to threaten her when she can hear you! We’d all watch a Josie v Zarah fight, right?

At the border, Ruth greets Mr. Wilford and he charms her again. Alex, Icy Bob, both Doctors Headwood and Sykes accompany him. Roche apologises in advance, then leads Till and a couple of Brakemen to pat down the guests. I only include this in the recap because it was fun to watch Till try to look tough as struggled to reach to search Icy Bob, and Sykes gives one of the Brakeman an incredible death glare.

As the Big Alice guests walk through the train, they’re met with mixed responses. Wilford loves the attention, and allows LJ to come forward to speak with him. He asks after her parents, and she tells him that they died in the war. He offers his condolences, and LJ takes that as a cue to launch into a hug. Alex looks jealous, and Till yanks LJ off Wilford. Doesn’t LJ know that she can just hug herself? Till does it all the time and she’s fine!

Wilford arrives at the dining hall to applause, and requests a table for eight. Then, he approaches Layton and Melanie.

Melanie doesn’t want to go into the details of her newly discovered knife kink, so instead Layton welcomes the visitors. In the background, Alex assembles her weapon and Miss Audrey watches on from the back of the crowd before disappearing from the room. Layton passes the floor to Melanie, and she announces that the Earth is warming - not within a thousand year timeframe, but within their lifetimes.

There’s a lot to do: first, they need to get the Rocky Mountains Breslauer research station up and running again. Sykes interjects that they just came over that line (Melanie’s guess that Wilford used it as a shortcut was right!), and it’s not in good enough condition for Snowpiercer. Melanie ignores Sykes, and continues on to the second step: releasing balloons all over the world to gather data. Then, finally, Snowpiercer will return to collect the data.

Wilford makes the easiest play he can: Melanie lied for seven years, so why should people start believing her now? Layton tries to back Melanie up, and Wilford does a quick bit of character assassination on him, too. But then, the Headwoods come forward to tell Wilford that Melanie’s theory could be valid. Wilford considers it, and Layton makes another very lacklustre proposal:

How is this guy leading a bunch of people who were sucked in by Wilford’s theatrics and charm?

Wilford points out that the station will need to be manned, by someone who knows what they’re doing. Melanie is the obvious candidate. Alex is shocked. And so is Layton! I’m not sure why Melanie didn’t mention that part to him before - they’re supposed to be working together! They negotiate the terms of the mission. Wilford’s terms are that Melanie is the person to be ‘left behind’, and Melanie’s terms are that all hostilities cease. Mr. Wilford agrees far too readily, but at least it means Melanie can access the required equipment!

Wilford heads over to Alex and calls off the hit on Layton. Alex is so angry that her hands ball into fists, despite the blade hidden away. She cuts her palm, and has to hide it while everyone around her begins to cheer for the future. Wilford makes the three-fingered salute, and Till has a brainwave.

Layton and Melanie have a quick talk about the fact that she didn’t tell him she’d have to be the one to go to the research station. She asks him to keep the train in one piece, and to come back to get her.

Downtrain, Till and her detective coat rush into the Tail. Winnie is working security for Lights this time, so Till doesn’t have to fight too hard to speak to the victim. The detective needs to see Lights’ hand. Lights unbandages to reveal that her thumb and little finger were cut off, leaving the three fingers that make up the Wilford salute. There’s a whole different element to this assault.

As Wilford walks back through the train, he holds up the salute, and the passengers give it back to him. Blood is still dripping from Alex’s hand.

Up in the empty dining hall, Zarah walks up to Layton in slow motion, and tells him something that we can’t hear. He doesn’t reply - he just runs through the train, knocking passengers out of his way until he reaches the clinic, just in time for Josie to wake up.

In the final scene, Alex gets another opportunity to be a moody teenager! She tells her mother, “Don’t you dare say this is for me!” Melanie replies that it’s for all of them - it’s hope. Alex is as tired of hearing that word as I am, so she stomps off to Big Alice and smears blood on the border doorframe.

#snowpiercer s2e2 #snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer 2.02 #snowpiercer #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer season 2

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 2, episode 9: Wilford Wonka

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e9: The Show Must Go On. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

This was a difficult recap to write, because I kept getting distracted by everyone’s outfits. So, before we get started, let’s just take a moment to revel in all of this:

The costume department of this show are queer heroes, and I hope they know it.

Ruth monologues this episode. The very first word is hope, so I guess we’re back on that theme! She reflects on the different ways that Melanie and Layton have used hope to unite the people, whereas Mr. Wilford has turned hope into fear. The monologue plays over scenes of Ruth getting dressed in her teals and travelling through the train, overseeing workers: things are running smoothly since Wilford took control. It also plays over a scene showing Jackboots stealing patient records from Dr. Pelton, while Ruth talks about keeping her own hope hidden in the people who can rekindle it.

Then, there’s a monologue break. Ruth, Till and Till’s detective coat have a sneaky conversation in the doorway of the Brakemen’s lockup - which is conspicuously free from any signs of Eugenia or Logan! We learn that Ruth and Till don’t know what’s happened to the Roche family, and that Wilford has sent for Till. Uh oh. Ruth heads inside.

Zarah tells Ruth that Layton is in The Swamp (Big Alice’s compost). Then, Ruth promises to try to find out why Wilford sent for Till. But she’s very busy at the moment, planning a dinner party and/or circus for Wilford. Zarah suspects that Audrey has told Wilford a lot about them, and Till and her detective coat are very stressed out. The others try to comfort her.

It’s been a month since their simultaneous breakup, so why not?

After the opening credits, Ruth and Kevin are accompanying Mr. Wilford to a suit fitting in First Class Dining - where else!? Mr. Wilford asks Ruth and Kevin to run a full census, so that they can split the classes up again.

Up in Snowpiercer’s engine, Javi and Bennett aren’t happy that Wilford is dividing them. Javi is worried about being sent to The Swamp. Bennett tries to cheer Javi up by giving him an old iPod from 2004 and reminding him that Wilford is very unlikely to kill either of them, because there aren’t enough trained engineers. Then, they give us some timeline info: they’re a week away from picking Melanie up, they’re running a day late, and they haven’t had contact with her in over a week. Finally, Javi collects his bag and his hula dancer figurine, gives Bennett one of the most unnatural fist bumps I’ve ever seen, and leaves for Big Alice.

In the corridors, Ruth is pressing Kevin for information on the big surprise, but he’s not telling! They chip into the non-torturey Hospitality room to discover a very pissed off Dr. Pelton, the Notary, and stacks of boxes of files. Ruth is outraged to discover that the files are medical records, not passenger files, and further outraged to discover that the age categories are children, adolescents, 18-39 and…

The Notary shows Ruth a sample questionnaire, which contains some very concerning questions designed to identify Tailies and rebels. Ruth is, once again, outraged. Kevin says he’ll snitch on her, and Ruth tells him that she’ll “have [her] own conversations with Mr. Wilford, thank you very much!” Ruth and Kevin bickering is very fun to watch. I just wish it was about something less awful!

In Big Alice’s engine, Javi is getting creeped out by the artwork. Alex calls him the fifth engineer (ouch!), then instructs him to sit down and not touch anything. Javi asks whether one of the panels is new, and Alex tells him that she just upgraded its interface on the second Revolution. So… she did the upgrade when she was either eight, nine, ten or eleven years old (depending on when her birthday is, and who’s right about her age at departure)!? I know she’s talented, but it’s still fucking wild that an eight year old was casually upgrading parts of the train that was keeping everyone alive!

Javi cracks out the figurine and passive-aggressively places it on the helm. Alex passive-aggressively reminds him not to touch anything. Javi then tries to explain the story behind the figurine - it’s a joke of Melanie’s. But Alex sees right through him and verbally cuts him down. When Alex feels the train, Javi tries to flatter her - Melanie said she has The Touch. But Alex doesn’t fall for bonding attempt #2, either, and shuts Javi in the cockpit with a Jackboot while she heads uptrain.

On Snowpiercer, Sykes takes Till and her detective coat to meet Wilford at a new exhibition in the art gallery. I’m going to resist the temptation to write an entire paragraph about those two walking around together in their beautifully queer outfits, and focus on the plot: Wilford shows Till and her detective coat his favourite painting.

Mr. Wilford, it is creepy to demand a meeting with someone you don’t know and immediately start asking them about porny paintings! Stop!

Till and her detective coat challenge Mr. Wilford about the disappearing passengers - especially her big brother, her dad, and his other family. Wilford responds by being creepy again! He calls Till a curious creature and says he doesn’t know what to do with her. Yuck! Till is feeling gutsy today, so she suggests that she should continue looking for the breach workers’ killers. Wilford complains that he never needed a detective before, because there wasn’t any crime on his train. Till counters that she doesn’t think he’s that naive, to which he (creepily, again) replies that he doesn’t think she’s that innocent.

After a quick Britney Spears lipsync battle, Wilford relaxes a bit and tells Till that the Roches have been drawered. They’ll be undrawered when everything settles down again. Till warns Wilford that Roche’s drawering won’t go down well, but Wilford has a nice distraction planned! He orders Sykes to take Till on a date to car 272.

Back on Snowpiercer, Kevin is excited to finally tell Ruth about the surprise: Mr. Wilford is opening car 272! And, even better, he’s putting Kevin in charge! Kevin and Ruth semi-kidnap Winnie and take her into Willy’s World. Yep, they seriously called it that! LJ and Alex are enjoying the rides, and Kevin tries to get them to stop. Bennett and his hair gel and Till and her detective coat are standing around at the side, being edgy together. When they see Ruth, they head over and Till tells her that the Roches have been drawered. But then, it’s time for the tech rehearsal! A picture speaks a thousand words so, uh, Wilford does this:

Next, we briefly catch up with Layton in The Swamp. He’s covered in shit and eating bug bars again, and that’s all we see before the next scene.

Josie wants to know what the Headwoods have done to her body without her consent! She didn’t sign up to be the next Icy Bob! The Headwoods calm her down, and suggest that they find out what Josie can do. Josie’s inner nerd wins out, and they all go off to do some experiments.

I hate it and I love it and it’s creepy but it’s great! (Sidenote: if Alex, Bennett and Wilford are all here, is Javi controlling both engines?)

When he’s finished making his grand entrance, Mr. Wilford announces the puppet show. This genuinely might be worse than the mangolingus scene? Alex is offended by the Alex puppet, so she does what she does best and storms off. Wilford mimes along to the words while the puppeteer does a pretty decent Sean Bean impression. When it’s over, LJ, Kevin and Wilford give the show a standing ovation. The others quietly seethe.

Wilford doesn’t understand what’s wrong with them all! Winnie calls him a liar and storms off Alex-style. Bennett calls the show pathetic, and Alex doesn’t think they have time for all this - they’re already a day late to pick up Melanie. Wilford suggests that Alex didn’t pay enough attention to the end of the show (where the Melanie puppet dies). Then, he drops the bomb that he knows the final launch data was faked: Ben lost contact with Melanie ten days ago.

Bennett admits it’s true, and Sykes escorts Bennett back to the engine before he has a chance to tell Alex much more - except not to give up on Melanie. With Ruth, Bennett and Sykes gone, Till has yet another poor anger management moment and decides to antagonise Wilford. In response, Wilford gets Kevin to start handing out tickets out to the dinner party. Wilford himself hands a ticket to Till, and tells her to “dress [her] next advice in eveningwear.”

Next, there’s a brief scene of Ruth Ruthing around before cutting to Zarah, uptrain. She’s giving Winnie a message for Josie, but Kevin interrupts them. After making sure Winnie is hidden, Zarah greets Kevin with a very Audrey-esque, “What do you want?” He wants to give Zarah some candyfloss! She snatches the snack and smashes his hand in the door. Zarah is getting more brutal by the day and I love that for her! Kevin shoves the dinner invitation under the door and leaves, clutching his hand.

The dinner means Wilford will be busy tonight - it’s a perfect opportunity for Josie to sneak around Big Alice to find Layton! Zarah checks in with Winnie again, hands her the candyfloss, and sends her on yet another ten mile run.

Meanwhile, on Big Alice, Josie and the Headwoods are testing her new superpowers. She makes some interesting noises in the cold chamber, and I hope my neighbours can’t hear this scene!

Down in The Swamp, Layton finds a shard of broken glass in the waste, and adds it to his secret stash of shitty stuff. Wilford comes along to bask in the eerie green swamp light. Wilford wonders whether Layton believes that his ideals make any difference in the end. Layton thinks they do, and Wilford doesn’t understand it.

He’s right, and he should say it!

Layton continues, saying that it was fragile, powerful men like Wilford that froze Earth in the first place. After all of his engine lessons, Detective Layton apparently isn’t suspecting that Wilford caused the freeze himself? Okay! As Layton and Wilford continue verbally sparring, The Swamp’s guard crochets a W coaster. I don’t think it ever becomes especially relevant, but it’s an enjoyable detail!

Layton finally rattles Wilford a bit when he says most people on Snowpiercer will never love him like he wants them to. Wilford finally rattles Layton a bit by telling him about the party later, with the last of Layton’s friends. Including Zarah. At that, Layton tries to hit Wilford in the face with his shitty shovel. Unfortunately, Wilford sees the attack coming a mile off, and drops the hatch.

Next, it’s the dinner party scene! I know this whole shitshow is divisive within the fandom, but personally I really enjoy it! Zarah, Alex and Till are all so bitter and dry and it’s GREAT.

Ruth excitedly announces to the waiters that the guests have arrived! But her face immediately falls when LJ is the first to enter. Osweiller follows behind her, and turns down the free drink he’s offered. Alex enters the room behind him, and definitely does not deny an opportunity for underage drinking. From the other side of the dining car, Till descends the stairs with Zarah on her arm. Where are those fanfic writers?

Ruth finally realises how unrandom the guest selection was, and quietly discusses it with Till and Zarah. Zarah has literally been locked up all day in First. Till promises that if Mr. Wilford threatens Zarah’s baby, she’ll kill him with her butterknife. Zarah’s kind of into it, but Ruth tells Till to take it easy.

The guests sit on sofas and anxiously discuss the evening. Osweiller is “a fish out of water”, and asks his big sister for help. LJ is super excited! Alex thinks they’re all screwed! Wilford and Audrey make a loud, drunken entrance before we hear any more opinions. Audrey is dripping in jewels and drinking directly from a bottle, and it’d be very fun to watch if it wasn’t so sad! She asks “Willy” to “tickle the ivories” for them. Yuck! Audrey and Wilford sing a duet, and argue about the lyrics. Meanwhile, Till asks Zarah whether Audrey is wearing a “freaking tiara”, and Ruth threatens Kevin to back off - this is her room!

Over dinner, Wilford shares that he knows that Osweiller and Till used to work together. It’s tense. Then, he introduces Alex and 'Zarah, from Hospitality'. Zarah immediately adds that she’s also Layton’s partner. Wilford corrects her: ex-wife, wasn’t it? Audrey backs him up. So, Zarah was right earlier - Audrey definitely has been telling Wilford information.

Zarah starts to have a go at Audrey, and Audrey casually shrugs it off. Then, Zarah calls Audrey a whore. WTF!? It’s a weird thing for her character to say, but I’m enjoying mean Zarah enough that I don't mind. Wilford chastises Zarah, and reminds her that they’re One Train, now! In response, Alex proposes a toast.

Wilford changes the subject to the puppet show, which LJ loved! Osweiller and Ruth quickly try to shut LJ up when she mentions Melanie, but Alex would love to hear more lies about her mother! LJ fills Alex in on a few details, and in the process accidentally outs herself as Snowpiercer’s resident dick chopper. Wilford enquires whether LJ was guilty, and she stutters out a denial. He clarifies, “So, you did not cut off those men’s penises?” because, of course that’s a line in this fucking show!

Alex asks whether it’s true, and Osweiller jumps to LJ’s defence. Wilford teases Osweiller about being quiet, tells him to be careful dating LJ, and then asks why he should keep him. In response, Osweiller asks to use the piano. Wilford is intrigued, and LJ is worried. Zarah asks Till whether he plays, but Till has no idea. It turns out that Brakeman Blowie sings like an absolute fucking angel! Most of the characters get a bit emotional listening to him. As ever, some of the song’s lyrics are very on-the-nose:

The storm is coming soon

They say that things just cannot grow/beneath the winter snow/or so I have been told

I still believe in summer days

Life will find a way

Impeccable!

Meanwhile, on Big Alice, Josie has received Winnie’s message and sneaked out to find Layton in The Swamp. She sends away the crocheting guard, and Layton comes to the window to make a nice parallel to s1e3. He’s glad to see that Josie is looking better, but Josie quickly gets down to business: Zarah has sent a message to tell Layton that they haven’t given up. They need to know the next move. Layton has a little sit down and a cry, but they don’t really have time for that! Josie tells him to remember what they’re fighting for, and offers to try to get him out.

Between the s1e5 recap jokes about rescuing princess Layton from the tower drawer, the fact that this place is literally called The Swamp, the weird green lighting, and Layton’s pink outfit… you all knew that was coming, and I will not apologise for it.

In case Layton missed the parallel to their post-Fight Night meeting, Josie explicitly points it out. Josie asks Layton whether there’s still hope? Layton replies that they’ll both find their moment, they have to keep faith in the others, and they’re still together. When their time’s up, Layton asks Josie to get a message to their people on Snowpiercer: they’ll finish what they started.

Back at the dinner party, Wilford sparks up and tells Audrey she has competition from Osweiller. Audrey is very bad at hiding her jealousy, and sarcastically asks whether anyone else would like to sing? Zarah? Zarah is enjoying seeing Audrey rattled, and smugly replies that she’s done singing for her supper. Audrey assures Wilford that Zarah will sing - she’s a survivor.

Now that dinner is pretty much over, Wilford invites Ruth to join them. Alex warns Ruth not to trust him - he’s trying to turn the train against going back for Melanie. Wilford scoffs out an exasperated apology for the puppet show, but then openly admits that he won’t risk taking two trains over that section of track again. Alex asks Ruth whether she’s figured out what the census is for yet. Ruth has not. Alex then informs the room that, to save resources, Wilford culled half the population of Big Alice - “Men, women, children…”

Alex has previously confirmed that she’s Big Alice’s youngest crew member. So, did Wilford kill every child except Alex? That’s a lot, even for him. Zarah seriously needs to watch out! Wilford pretends to be upset about the genocide, and sends Alex to the brig. On her way out, Alex warns Ruth that Wilford is coming for her.

Wilford then invites Ruth to sit again, but she politely declines. He’s been playing games! The setting was intended for her, all along. Apparently, today has been all about Ruth! Till and Zarah exchange a concerned glance, and Ruth tentatively sits between them. Wilford then calls to Kevin:

He’s really gross this episode!

Wilford thanks Ruth and Kevin for their work this evening, then pits them against each other for the Head of Hospitality position. The job is Ruths - on the condition that she joins his side and addresses the train to tell the passengers that they aren’t going back for Melanie. Ruth rapidly goes through all five stages of grief, then begins to silently cry as she tells Wilford that she can’t do that. She won’t do it. She’s rejecting his offer. Wilford makes her take off her teals, and she cries more.

Jackboots escort the de-tealed Ruth through the train, and passengers gawk at her from doorways. In the third class mess hall, people even throw stuff at her! She tries to keep a brave face through the humiliation. This feels like it’s going to become very relevant next season, and I’m so worried for her!

Meanwhile, Wilford leads Till through a different part of the train. He offers her a job, too: his new advisor. When Till replies that she’s not sure she’s the right person for the job, but he tries to convince her - she thinks for herself, and she grew a moral compass last season! He’s severely lacking one, and would like to borrow hers occasionally. Also, he’s resolved that case she wanted to work on - the breach workers’ murderers are in the car, lined up against the wall, with masks on their faces. (Sidenote: how many execution chambers does this train have??) Till advises him not to execute the hired killers, and he toys with her for a moment before pulling the lever anyway.

Next, we get a few quick scenes catching up with multiple characters. Ruth joins Layton in The Swamp. Wilford saunters through an orgy in Big Alice’s engine, and settles in a throne to watch. Audrey is having a lovely time with a couple of people at said orgy, while Javi is looking nervously over his shoulder at it. And Alex is all alone in the brig.

In The Swamp, Ruth is covered in shit and sitting around being depressed while Layton does all the hard work. She’s worried that Wilford will tell everyone that contact has been lost with Melanie, and leave her at the station. To die. Just like they’re going to die in The Swamp. She spirals quickly! Layton tries to cheer Ruth up by telling her that all Wilford has is fear, whereas they have friends!

Back at the orgy, Mr. Wilford is looking exhausted. The timeline is confusing me again here: either Ruth rolled around in a pile of shit the moment she arrived at the swamp, or Audrey has been getting head on that couch for hours! Either way: good for her!

Javi receives a staticy radio message from Melanie, and quickly hits the mute button just before Wilford hears it. Wilford has a break from his orgy observation to drunkenly tell Javi he’s better than Bennett, that there’s “only one thing left to acquire” now that money doesn’t exist, and that they can only depend on the train. Javi doesn’t want to listen to Wilford’s drunken bollocks, so politely asks to use the restroom.

Inside the restroom, Javi uses eyeliner to write a note saying that Melanie just contacted him, shoves it into a lipstick tube, and flushes it off to The Swamp.

Down in The Swamp, Ruth notices something shiny land in the new pile of shit. She takes a break from her break to investigate. It’s the lipstick tube! She opens it up, finds the note, and calls Andre over to take a look.

Yes! Please go somewhere with better lighting!

#snowpiercer s2e9 #snowpiercer 2.09 #snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer #snowpiercer season 2 #snowpiercer rewatch

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 2, episode 7: A Little Less Sixteen Hundred Candles

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e7: Our Answer for Everything. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

This episode opens in the MOOЯ AƎT, with some quiet clips of various religious and Wilfordite objects and pictures. Till and her detective coat begin a monologue about the difficulties of coping with murder as she walks along a line of uniformed breach worker corpses. It’s completely fair to struggle with the brutality of murder, no judgment there! However, perhaps homicide detective wasn’t the smartest career choice in that case?

The colouring drains away for a flashback to Till and her detective coat AND her detective flashlight finding murdered breach worker Cherry. The trio also find a clue: a W button. In the present, Till hugs herself while some Brakemen bring in another body. In her monologue, she says “I want just one night where I close my eyes and I’m not afraid of what’s on the other side. One night where I don’t feel so alone.”

ANDRÉ LAYTON, HUG YOUR LITTLE SISTER RIGHT NOW!

After the opening credits (which I think sound normal again?), we’re treated to another gorgeous outside shot.

Pastor Logan is praying for the murdered breach workers, and Boki is crying on the floor. Till, her detective coat and Layton watch on and discuss the fact that this attack clearly indicates that Wilford has people working for him on Snowpiercer. Till (correctly) worries that the tailies are going to get the blame.

Roche enters to update us on the situation: the border is locked down, and Brakemen are all over the train in case something kicks off. Layton tries to talk to Boki, but Boki is too upset and tells Layton to get away from his fallen colleagues. Pastor Logan gives Boki a St. Christopher charm from his never-ending supply, then tells Till to leave - the pastor will take care of Boki. MHM.

Till and her detective coat visit her little brother and his new girlfriend, who are bossing another janitor around. LJ suggests Till should just pin the crime on some tailies, like she used to! Osweiller is having a rare moment of not being a dick, and comes to his sister’s defence. Till shows them the vintage, old-style W button that she found at the scene of the crime. LJ’s a little shit, but Osweiller knows someone who might be able to help. They’re going to visit Kayta!

Uptrain, Ruth is getting Layton, Roche and Zarah up to speed on Miss Audrey: she chose to stay, and Ruth isn’t sure why. She hasn’t completed her mission yet, so hopefully she’s just staying to get the job finished. But she may have defected - and that’s how it’ll look to the passengers.

Talking of Audrey, she’s having a nice soak in the murder bathtub. Wilford is chuckling away to himself while ignoring Bennett’s attempts to get him to pick up the radio.

I don’t like Bennett, and I don’t like Wilford, but I like it when they’re mean to each other!

The train will reach the Himalaya roundabout tonight, and they’ll head back for Melanie. Layton wants to speak with Audrey, and Wilford calls out to her. Instead of responding, she submerges herself. Relatable. Wilford then innocently asks about the alarms last night. Layton replies that there was some unrest, and not-very-subtly accuses Wilford of causing it. Audrey shows up, “fetching but grumpy” in a very fancy gown. One of Wilford’s, perhaps? She didn’t bring much luggage with her.

Layton checks in with Audrey, and offers to open the border for her. She replies, “not yet”. Wilford angrily disconnects the comms and tells Audrey, “Not good enough.” We should all be very concerned for her.

Bennett, Ruth and Layton dissect the call. Ruth, because she’s Ruth, suggests that Audrey might be “freshly shagged and bathing in rosewater.” Incredible! They agree to assume that Audrey has been compromised.

In the Big Alice canteen, Emilia asks Alex for updates on Snowpiercer: no one on Big Alice knows what the alarms are about, and Emilia is worried about a potential attack. Alex has been shut out of the engine, but notices Sykes walking by. She tries to find out more information, but Sykes won’t give Alex any answers.

In the tail, Pike is using a bong made out of a baby bottle while Z-Wreck, Murray, Strong Boy and Astrid discuss how dangerous the train feels today: Third think tailies killed the breach workers. Astrid tells us that Lights and Winnie moved to the Market this morning, which is very surprising given that Lights was the first person who said that it wasn’t safe for tailies uptrain! I’m glad she’s recovering fast.

Z-Wreck and Murray want to go and collect the tailies from uptrain, and bring them back to the tail where it’s safe. But they don’t make it far before running into Boki.

Wasn’t Pastor Logan supposed to be Boki-sitting?

Ruth and Roche take Boki to the lockup, and have a cute little bonding moment together. Ruth asks Roche how worried he is, and confides in him that Wilford invited her to Big Alice. She admits she wasn’t sure what to do - she has doubts. Wilford’s rules (though enforced by Melanie) provided order for seven years! Roche bluntly replies by asking Ruth if she wants to go back to taking arms. She clearly doesn’t. Then, she plays with his buttons in a move that I still cannot make sense of (?????), and then they head off.

Elsewhere, Osweiller, Till and her detective coat wander through the corridors and have a little catch-up. Osweiller has cuffed his shirt sleeves, just like his big sister. Awwww. He bumps into the pictures on the walls, and Till effortlessly catches them and straightens them again - y'know, big sibling stuff. Then, they enter Katya’s Antique Boutique.

This scene is fun! Katya is everything you could ever want from an elderly Russian antique dealer. She alternates between smoking and using an oxygen mask while her grandchild translates. Stunning. Till is all business, whereas Osweiller tries on an incredible hat pretty much as soon as he walks in.

Icons, both of them.

We learn that Katya was Wilford’s neighbour in Sheffield. Wilford was like her nephew - she used to take him to the park and the chapel, where he would light a red candle in the window. Ah. She has photos of him everywhere, in addition to a shit ton of Wilford-branded stuff and a load of little red lanterns. Her grandchild tells Till that they give the lanterns to customers, to light as a vigil for Wilford until his return. It doesn’t take Till long to figure out where the button came from: a jacket that was traded last week to a fancy, very tall woman. Lilah Folger’s ghost???

Next, Layton addresses the train. He tries to convince people that tailies didn’t murder the breach workers, and that their real enemy is Wilford. But he goes far too hard, and with far too little evidence. As the speech plays out, Lights, Winnie and some other tailies pack up to move back to the tail. Roche rolls his eyes. Jakes gets a Wilford chant started. When Layton steps out of the booth, Ruth warns him that the passengers probably won’t take his speech as it was intended - he practically just asked them to pick sides (yeah, it’s all about choosing rather than hope this episode). Zarah defends Layton, and Ruth strops off.

In Big Alice’s engine, Audrey and Wilford still aren’t getting along. He’s sad that she’s not with him yet, and she tells him that she needs to know what he’s up to before she joins him. He reveals that he went through her things when she was in the bath, and found her screwdriver. He asks what it’s for, and she replies he already knows. He does. He asks whether she did it. She didn’t. He follows up to ask whether she stayed to complete the mission. She denies it - she stayed because she feels a pull towards him, even after everything he’s done to her…

Wilford snaps and grabs Audrey’s wrist, which scares her. He doesn’t believe her. He tells her to get dressed, then he drags her by the hand through the train. She’s going to have to prove herself, like everyone else. Sykes opens a room marked “MEDICAL STORAGE”. Inside, Kevin is strapped to a chair, distressed, and telling Wilford to leave him alone. Sykes shoves Audrey into the room. Wilford makes a quick introduction, “This is Kevin. I need you to fix him,” and then shuts Audrey into the room. I hate this so much.

Back on Snowpiercer, Jakes and JAnnietor are riling up the crowd against tailies. LJ is loving the chaos! Layton checks in on Pike. He’s high as fuck, and has his hand in a hollowed-out loaf of bread?

Pike insists that he’s good. He likes the fact that Layton now owes him. Layton tries to encourage Pike to leave Third, but Pike is convinced that no one recognises him now that he’s shaved off his hair and beard. He makes a cryptic threat to Layton, then leaves.

Back in Big Alice’s engine, Alex wants to know where Wilford was, and what Audrey’s doing. He won’t answer. Alex accuses him of shutting her out, because he just wants to “mess around with [his] whore.” Alex!!! Don’t talk about your new stepmom like that! Wilford likes Alex’s nerve, but warns her against making this personal. Alex is feeling left out, and Wilford is feeling unappreciated. But instead of discussing it - perhaps with the help of the therapist that they just semi-kidnapped? - they argue!

Wilford knows that Alex showed Melanie to her bunk. He suspects they “had some lovely hugs.” What a weird thing to say! Alex doesn’t want to choose between Wilford and Melanie, but Wilford insists that she has to. He cracks out that saviour complex again! He thinks Alex should thank him every day for saving her from the freeze. If she wants to be included in his plans, she’ll have to remind him why he brought her along. (Why did he bring her? What does that mean? I’m very worried for Alex!)

In the medical supply/cult conversion room, Kevin is weeping and drooling and Audrey is trying to softly talk to him. I hate this scene, so here are the quick details: they briefly discuss the murder bath, and it breaks Audrey. She starts to talk about how Wilford saved Kevin (her), how Kevin (she) wants to be Wilford’s again, and how Kevin (she) was nothing before Wilford. Then, she starts to do a version of her Nightcar thing, helping Kevin to reconnect with what he’s lost - but this time, it’s to brainwash him back into the Wilford cult. FUCK.

Up in First Class Dining, Eugenia is enjoying a fancy dish of jelly cubes (?) until she’s interrupted by Till and her detective coat. Till’s dad and big brother are there to back her up, too. She confronts Eugenia about the lost button, then…

Honestly, under better circumstances, I could ship it! I’m also kinda impressed that Eugenia was able to take out Breachman Cherry? I didn’t think most Firsties seemed like good fighters, but clearly I was wrong!

Till asks who is calling the shots, and Eugenia hides her St. Christopher necklace as she tells Till that she can’t see what’s right in front of her. Then, she stands up and leans in. Layton and Roche rush over to prevent a fight/kiss/whatever. But there isn’t one - Eugenia just gets in Till’s face and tells her that she’s two steps behind.

When Eugenia is handcuffed, she has to let go of her necklace. She says that the train needs a new shepherd, and that the revolution is starting. Has Till finally figured it out yet?

Downtrain, there’s pro-Wilford and anti-Tail graffiti all over the corridors. Armed Thirdies are roaming around, on the hunt for Tailies. Dr. Pelton hides a group of escaping Tailies, just in time. Ruth and Zarah walk through the same corridor soon after, and encounter an angry group of Thirdies. Dr. Pelton lets Ruth and Zarah into the clinic, too.

Zarah uses the clinic phone to contact Tristan, while Ruth tries to make friends with the other people seeking refuge - such as Winnie. Winnie doesn’t yet know that Ruth is getting a redemption arc today, so she screams and runs to Lights when Ruth tries to talk to her. Ruth and Zarah can’t figure out why Winnie is so scared, until Lights reminds Ruth that she tried to take Winnie’s arm. She adds, “it wasn’t that long ago,” and it’s comforting to know that Lights has also given up on trying to accurately track the timeline!

Lights also tells Ruth and Zarah that Suzanne died following the de-arming, and Ruth doesn’t know what to say. Zarah tries to lighten things up by asking about Winnie’s brother, but he died in the revolution.

Lights stares Ruth down, and Ruth is very uncomfortable (as she should be).

Tristan knocks on the window for Ruth, and informs her that Tailies aren’t safe outside. When Ruth turns back to the room, she realises that Winnie is missing. How didn’t anyone notice the door opening!? Anyway, Lights immediately makes for the door, but Ruth stops her - Lights won’t be safe out there, so Ruth will go. She leaves Zarah in charge (as if Dr. Pelton isn’t obviously the person in charge in that room?), and heads out into the chaos.

Meanwhile, Winnie has found Pike! He’s high again, and calls her a dude which is a cute vibe for them. But JAnnietor and Jakes come around the corner, and they know that Pike is a Tailie! Winnie runs away while the Thirdies attack Pike and begin to carry him through the corridor. To hide, Winnie chips herself into the nearest door - the observatory!

Next, we catch up with the detectives. They’re walking through a different corridor, showing off their detective coats. Till is explaining to Layton that her number one suspect is now Pastor Logan. She calls Eugenia “First Class Bitch”, and I think it’s intended as an insult but I suspect it would probably get taken as a compliment or flirting? Layton wonders if the Pastor let Boki attack tailies on purpose, but he’s interrupted by Brakemen on their way to rioting Wilford mobs.

Back in the other unspecified Snowpiercer corridor, Ruth finds Winnie. She’s crying and remembering her mom. Ruth tries to take Winnie back to her friends, but Winnie won’t move. Ruth softens further - she apologises for being cruel and taking Suzanne away from Winnie, and gives us a little more backstory: Ruth also lost her mum when she was little. She continues to explain that she thought she was doing the right thing, by following the rules. But now she realises it was wrong, and wishes she could take it back.

Winnie is five fucking years old, so she doesn’t need to hear Ruth’s moral epiphany! She tells Ruth she’s hiding from the bad men, and Ruth changes tactics again: she tells Winnie that she’s clever, but that she doesn’t need to hide any more because Ruth can keep her safe. Winnie conceded, climbs out of her hiding place, and offers Ruth some well-timed redemption.

The next scene is a load of upsetting stuff with Audrey, Kevin and their murder bath flashbacks. So let’s skip that! When they’re done, Audrey and Kevin both thank Mr. Wilford for everything, and Kevin starts following Audrey’s commands like a dog - which is a different kind of upsetting! They enter the engine room, and Wilford immediately notices that Audrey looks “reinvigorated”. Audrey then makes Kevin lick Wilford’s slipper. I hate this whole thing of course, but credit where credit’s due: Kevin fucking commits to that slipperlingus!

Uptrain, there are more disturbing scenes! Some Thirdies are trying to de-arm Pike! Ruth drops Winnie off with Lights, then follows Layton on his way to help Pike.

Meanwhile, Till and her detective coat have returned to Pastor Logan’s Office for Converting Depressed Lesbians. He calls her Bess again, and it still feels weird. She asks who he was talking to before she barged in, but he has a great excuse lined up: God! Pastor Logan starts brewing tea, and Till confronts him: he’s the one working for Wilford, isn’t he? He tries to convert her again, and tells her that murdering eight breach workers is a small price to pay for peace.

Talking of peace - ha! Nope! Layton and Ruth arrive to a car full of shouting and struggling, where Pike’s de-arming is about to take place. Layton volunteers himself in Pike’s place, which is a thoroughly ridiculous move! Layton is the most hated of all the Tailies right now! Pike and Ruth try to talk him down (she even calls him Andre, and it's almost as weird as when the Pastor calls Till Bess), but the Thirdies are happy to take his offer!

Meanwhile, Ruth has been having flashbacks to Suzanne’s de-arming. Before Layton’s arm goes through the wall, Ruth starts yelling at everyone in such an angry teacher tone that they actually stop and listen to her.

Ruth reminds the people that de-arming is barbaric. If they don’t like the way the train is being run, then they should call for change. Ummmmm I think they’re still under martial law so… would that really work? No one challenges Ruth’s logic, though, so she continues her speech. De-arming people isn’t right. These people will never be the same again, after they’ve de-armed Layton. She knows, because she’s done it.

Ruth’s speech may or may not have changed their minds, but luckily it bought Layton enough time for the Brakemen to arrive. The Thirdies scatter, and Layton collapses against the wall, relieved that he didn’t actually just lose an arm to save Pike.

Back in the Pastor’s Office for Converting Depressed Lesbians, Pastor Logan is still trying to convert Till and her detective coat! I’m not sure why she hasn’t arrested him already, given that he just admitted to ordering multiple murders? Anyway, he blabbers on about stability and order and how suffering is temporary. She quotes one of his boxing lines back to him, and he seems impressed for a second - before she smacks him in the throat. Till really needs to stop attacking the people she’s supposed to be protecting!

Pastor Logan tries to hit Till back, but he misses. She punches him in the face, and he punches her right back. This is relevant because, when Till proceeds to throw Logan over her shoulder like Josie throws Layton onto beds, I can almost convince myself that it’s self-defence rather than police brutality and allow myself to enjoy it. The follow-up punches to his face definitely aren’t self-defence, though. Bastard cops!

Till isn’t going to kill the Pastor, because people need to learn the truth. Unfortunately, Pastor Logan has an accomplice who immediately tries to strangle Till. While Till and the accomplice wrestle in the MOOЯ AƎT, Pastor Logan runs back to his office and cracks out his Wilford Industries Emergency Suicide Kit. He’s already half-frozen his head by the time Till makes it into the office and yanks the bag off.

Next, we get a beautiful shot of the roundabout to demonstrate that the people of Snowpiercer are choosing sides. Red lanterns have been lit in some of the windows, indicating votes for Wilford. Wilford fetches Alex, and they look out of the window together with Audrey. Anne Roche asks whether they should light their lantern, but her husband isn’t sure yet. Zarah alerts Layton to the sight from the window, and they look out together. The train has chosen Wilford. He gives Sykes the order to tell the Headwoods to prep Icy Bob. And Alex still doesn’t like her new stepmom.

#snowpiercer s1e7 #snowpiercer 1.07 #snowpiercer #snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer season 2 #snowpiercer rewatch

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 1, episode 7: Be Bi, Do War Crimes

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e7: The Universe is Indifferent. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

In this episode’s monologue, LJ gives us a little speech about how everyone’s a narcissist at heart. I think it’s actually a lot less common than she thinks, but okay! The scenes running behind the monologue show Miss Audrey performing, Lilah and Robert Folger being ostracised by their neighbours, Till and Jinju having some of the most awkward-looking sofa sex I’ve ever seen, Melanie giving some instructions to Jackboots, Josie and Layton waking up together in Dr. Pelton’s apartment, and Zarah looking at a print-out of an ultrasound scan.

That’s a nice timeline clue! Let’s dissect that for a minute (or, if you don't care about the timeline, skip the next couple of paragraphs!)

If we assume that Zarah is holding a scan of her own embryo, that the episode two sex scene is how she got pregnant, and that Snowpiercer’s obstetrics tech is similar to what we have available now, then the embryo has to be at least about three weeks old (that’s when it’s big enough to start showing up on scans).

Therefore, Layton was in the drawers for at least two weeks. Which is a bit longer than I expected, but not entirely unreasonable! In that case, Osweiller’s probation was also about two weeks (which also seems fairly reasonable), and LJ spent at least two weeks in the lockup (which seems fairly hilarious - did Roche have to deal with her all that time? No wonder he’s taken this episode off!)

After the opening credits, we check in with the engineers. Javi is very worried that Layton knows the truth, and, as usual, he’s very pissed off with Melanie and Bennett. Melanie is relatively confident that Layton will control the secret until he knows how best to use it - which, luckily for her, is almost exactly what he told Josie yesterday! Melanie thinks she can stop Layton. Javi doesn’t seem convinced.

The morning announcement comes next, and we find out exactly how Melanie plans to stop Layton: she’s going to use Miles as bait! Miles will be the new engineering apprentice, taking DiMarco’s place after yesterday’s fatal accident. She’s evil, but she’s brilliant.

When the announcement is over, we get to meet day-off Ruth! Well. Kind-of day off. She’s quickly popped in to work to tell Melanie that Miles is being pushed up the apprentice ladder too fast. In the flirtiest way she can, Melanie tells Ruth to mind her own fucking business.

Layton and Josie are together to hear the news that their adopted son is getting his dream job, which is very sweet! They instantly recognise that it’s a trap - but also getting a tailie into the engine is undeniably pretty great. Layton tells Josie that she can’t see Miles, and the glare that she gives him in reply says, “I can do whatever the fuck I want, actually.”

The reason Josie can’t see Miles is supposedly because she and Layton need to spend every spare second turning Third to the cause. But given that we’ve already seen two clocks this episode showing that the time is 9:45am, I’m gonna go ahead and bet that Layton and Josie aren’t spending every spare second on the cause. (Not that they need to! They can nap and fuck as much as they like until their Airbnb checkout time! These two both really deserve some fun!)

Finally, Josie points out that if Miles is gonna have a clue what to do for the revolution when he gets to the engine, then they need to make contact with him asap. You can just tell that something bad is gonna happen in this episode.

In the drawers car, Creepy Klimpt has taken inventory to make sure that no other prisoners/trial participants/abducted children escaped. Everyone is accounted for! However, a bunch of suspension chemicals are missing. Melanie knows exactly what to do next: threaten Terrence-Never-Terry!

Terrence-Never-Terry starts off sarcastic and cocky, asking Melanie if there’s a janitorial problem. She responds by dragging her metal chair across the room like someone who has watched far too many crime thrillers. For once, a character doesn’t offer up incriminating information without even being questioned! Melanie and Terrence-Never-Terry sit knee-to-knee, and she reminds him that the punishment for drug trafficking is taking a dominant arm. She accuses him of helping Layton escape the drawers in exchange for Kronole ingredients, and he denies all knowledge.

She continues to threaten him, and in doing so we get a shot of Terrence-Never-Terry’s right hand. If anyone reading this knows more about flagging than me, please let me know what painting the two last nails of the right hand means! He’s definitely signalling something, right?

Then, we’re treated to more timeline information:

Terrence-Never-Terry tells Melanie that he met Layton once, five or six weeks ago, on Fight Night. So that’s how long it’s been!? Layton must have spent over a month in the drawers! Which also means that Zarah’s embryo is five to six weeks old, and LJ spent over a month in the lockup? HAHAHA WHAT??

Anyway, back to the interrogation: Terrence-Never-Terry continues to deny all knowledge, but promises to turn Layton in, if he sees him.

Back at Dr. Pelton’s Airbnb, Josie and Layton are, for some reason, still getting dressed. They make smalltalk and he calls her beautiful and they kiss. I guess the drawers are partially designed to help you get over your ex? Cool! They get ready to leave, and Layton tells Josie to be careful. She wants him to be careful, because she’s not the one Melanie’s looking for. On rewatch, the dramatic irony is almost too much to bear.

The allies have come up with an ingenious way to transport Layton around the train: Clay wheels him around in a laundry cart. In one of my absolute favourite scenes in the whole show, Clay rolls the cart through the Nightcar, and Miss Audrey stops it with a single, high-heeled foot. She stands, puts one hand on her hip, and dramatically pulls the sheet off the cart to reveal Layton.

It’s entirely ridiculous and I love it.

In the primary school, Bennett is moping around at the back of the class in a leather jacket. Why is he so grumpy? Does he just hate kids? Is he pissed that Melanie put him on babysitting duty in a deleted scene, or something? Miss Gillies explains to the class that Bennett is here to help Miles transition to Engine Apprentice, and he’s a moody little bitch about it.

The class has got Miles a special surprise to celebrate his new job. It’s a drugged tangerine! His favourite! Miss Gillies goes kind of over the top encouraging him to eat it, but Bennett doesn’t notice: he’s too busy trying to look cool to a room full of nine year olds.

Talking of stuff that induces nausea and vomiting: Commander Grey bumps into “Ruthie” in a corridor. He compliments her on the announcement during the crisis, and asks her out on a lunch date. Nope. I’m not discussing that further. Next scene!

Jinju catches Till before she starts her shift. Till is pleased to see her wife, and gives Jinju a cute little kiss on the cheek. Jinju, however, looks very unimpressed. She gets straight to the point: Layton got out. We discover that Brakeman Till is a fucking terrible actor! She gasps, clutches at her chest and swoons to the floor in surprise that Layton is out of the Tail! Not the drawers - because he was obviously in the Tail the whole time! It wasn’t weird at all that she didn’t see him once during an entire month of bug bar room service shifts!

Jinju isn’t taking any of Till's shit. She immediately asks Till where she was when she skipped out on their wedding night. Till claims she got nervous and stayed at home. Jinju shows that she's been spending too much time with Melanie Cavill, and she condescendingly but cryptically tells Till that there are things going on that she doesn’t understand. She makes a final attempt to get Till to reveal where Layton is. But, luckily, Till actually doesn’t know at the moment! If she had to lie again, Layton would probably be dead by the end of the day.

Back in the primary school, most of the children are treated to a lovely story about nepotism. But Miles has to sit alone at his desk and do extra physics homework with Bennett breathing down his neck. This just seems cruel: why keep him in the classroom where he can see the fun, but not take part?

Miles tells Bennett that he isn’t feeling well. Bennett tries to cheer Miles up by telling him that, once he’s an engineer, he’ll have no friends! Who the fuck decided that Bennett should be the person to collect the new apprentice!? He’s so bad with kids!

Miles then vomits on his desk. In another nice little detail about life on the train, the children quickly jump into well-practiced disease containment protocol. Miss Gillies is as bad at lying as Brakeman Till! She explains to Bennett that she has to abandon the whole class to take Miles to the clinic. Bennett wants to go with her. She reluctantly agrees, and gives him a mask to wear. And this is where we find out that Bennett Knox is an anti-masker! Wilford’s engine doesn’t sound so biosecure now, does it?

Next, we catch up with the revolutionaries. Clay is working security on the soundproof curtain while Audrey and Layton, in true leftie fashion, make plans for how to make plans for how to make plans for the revolution. They have a bit of an argument, but the main take away is that Layton needs Audrey to bring him leaders. And, in yet another hint that Audrey strongly suspects who is really running the train, they have this interaction.

After that, we catch up with Miles in the clinic. He’s still reeling from the time he heard Grey say “Ruthie”, and vomits into a bucket. Me too, kid. Dr. Pelton is, thankfully, a much much better actor than Miss Gillies or Brakeman Till. She comforts Miles, then tells Bennett to put his fucking mask on and stay the fuck outside. I don’t know why more people don’t look at Bennett the way Dr. Pelton does in this scene, but I’m so glad that she does it.

Surprise! Josie has sneaked into the clinic! She has a cute little reunion with Miles, and gives him some revolution instructions that we can’t hear.

Meanwhile, Miss Gillies is doing an awful job of keeping Bennett distracted. I think she’s trying to flirt with him? But she’s far too gay to make it convincing. Bennett notices Josie talking to Miles, and enters the treatment room - without his mask, of course. In her most suspicious move yet, Miss Gillies desperately tries to get him to come back by repeatedly asking him to tell her about the engine. Bennett ignores her. Dr. Pelton gives the teacher a death glare, and Josie escapes out through the side door.

Up in the aquarium car, Ruth’s anaconda very much does! She’s all dressed up in a snakeskin dress for her lunch date. Grey and Ruth only chat for a minute before the Folgers turn up, but Ruth sure manages to pack a lot of questionable topics into that time! She starts by telling Grey that it’s been a long time since she last got laid, then proceeds to say she’s only dating him because there aren't a lot of other options, then finishes off by asking about his dead wife. Girl! Slow down!

We also get a bit of Ruth backstory in this scene. We learn that she boarded Snowpiercer alone. She used to own a B&B in the Lake District, and that’s how she met Mr. Wilford. Apparently, Mr. Wilford turned up to her B&B in the middle of the night, alone, soaking wet and with no luggage. I really want to know how and why that happened! Did Bennett try to murder him on a camping trip or something?

Grey reveals that they’re not really on a date just as the Folgers turn up, arm-in-arm. Ruth tries to hide her disappointment, and even though she’s a serial arm-freezer I feel kind of sorry for her! Grey and the Folgers fill Ruth in on their plan to petition to change management (i.e. overthrow Melanie), and offer Ruth the Head of Hospitality position in their new regime.

Down in the Chains, Zarah returns home to find yet more uninvited guests in her container! Melanie has dropped by to bask in Snowpiercer’s best bisexual lighting and ask Zarah about Layton. Zarah clearly attends the same acting class as Till and Miss Gillies, and unconvincingly pretends that Layton is in the Tail. Melanie just wants to know how Layton escaped. We don’t get to find out whether or not Zarah would have given Josie up freely, because Melanie goes in hot with a threat to terminate Zarah’s pregnancy if she doesn’t cooperate!

Back in the Nightcar’s secret revolution planning den, things are tense. It’s not relevant to the plot, but I would like to take a second to point out that Dr. Pelton is rocking the shit out of a waistcoat. The Thirdies are worried they’re going to lose out in the rebellion, but Layton is keen to assure them that they won't. We also get some interesting facts about the train, namely:

So why does everyone go on dates in the aquarium car instead of the bowling alley?

The other Snowpiercer facts include that there are 300 brakemen and Jackboots, the train is ten miles long, Layton thinks he can open all the doors, and the Tail’s army comprises almost 400 people. Understandably, the people at the meeting want to know what Layton’s big secret is before they consider risking their lives for his plan. Layton looks to Audrey, and she gives him a tiny nod (she totally knows about Melanie!!). He has to build more mystery and intrigue before telling everyone, though!

Next up, some Jackboots, Brakemen, Melanie and Till are entering the Tail to conduct an inspection. Melanie makes a vaguely threatening speech as she walks down the middle of the cars. She pauses just after she passes Josie, then beckons towards the door. Despite the fact that Layton and the apprentices were identified by simply asking them to step forward, and the fact that Melanie took a good look at Josie through the window ‘five or six weeks ago’ on Fight Night, Melanie has brought Zarah along to identify Josie. She’s evil, but she’s brilliant. It’s the most effective method she has to try to turn the Tailies against Third, and prevent the upcoming revolution.

The moment that she recognises Zarah, Josie realises she’s fucked. She shares a quick, worried glance with Till, before they both return to feigning ignorance about the situation.

Zarah identifies Josie, and Jackboots immediately come forward to gag her and take her away. Big John tries to go to her, but Lights, Santiago and Patterson hold him back. There’s some tense eye contact between Zarah and Josie that I can’t read. Is Zarah Apologetic? Smug? Help me out here, please! Then Melanie calmly follows Josie and the Jackboot out of the Tail.

They travel all the way up to the torturey hospitality room. Josie has been given a new outfit, complete with a bag over her head. The Jackboots strap her to the chair, cuff her to the table, remove the bag and gag, and then leave. Melanie also dismisses Brakeman Till. Uh-oh. That’s not good.

Next, there’s a series of events that again don’t really matter much to the plot but that I, personally, find fascinating. As she closes the door, Melanie’s Wilford badge is the correct way up. We then briefly catch up with Brakeman Till outside, who mumbles “Fuck” for Netflix audiences, but apparenly doesn’t swear on American cable? Then, when we return to the interrogation room, Melanie’s badge is upside down.

How did that happen? I can only assume that Melanie stood against the door and slowly rotated the badge while menacingly telling Josie, “It’s Milford Industries war crime time.”

Melanie tells Josie that she doesn’t want to hurt her. She just wants to know where Layton is. I can’t help but think that, if that was true, Melanie probably would have at least tried asking before kidnapping Josie and cuffing her to an interrogation table? Josie keeps her mouth shut. Melanie then says that Zarah is going to be rewarded for her cooperation. More lies! Melanie didn’t bribe Zarah, she threatened her! She offers to reward Josie, too. Josie keeps her mouth shut.

Melanie drops the act slightly, and tells Josie she still has time to save herself. Unfortunately for Melanie, Josie has absolutely no intention of saving herself. She demonstrates this by immediately telling Melanie that she knows there’s no Wilford. And because she knows that, Melanie definitely won’t let her go. Melanie only displays a tiny flicker of surprise before recollecting her calm and reiterating that she’ll do whatever she needs to do to find Layton.

They talk about Miles for a bit, and then Josie starts to challenge Melanie about all the awful things she’s done. Melanie must have had her reasons, but she must also know that it’s not right. And then, we finally hear how Melanie has been excusing her actions these past seven years:

“Mr. Wilford engineered Snowpiercer to function in a certain way. If I had created it, I would have created a more just world. But I didn’t. I inherited someone else’s creation. People seem to think that those in power answer to no one, they’re free to do as they choose. It couldn’t be further from the truth. The person in power answers to everyone. I make choices, not because I want to, but because everyone demands it. The train demands it.”

Damn.

To set up for episode ten, Josie asks, “What made you like this?” But Melanie doesn’t answer. Instead, she gets on with Milford Industries war crime time! Specifically, finger-freezing torture. She blasts cold air at Josie’s little finger for a while, then opens a drawer that contains nothing but a hammer (!!) and asks once more, “Where’s Layton?”

Once a finger is that frozen, surely it’s already numb and unsalvageable? Josie still screams when Melanie smashes it off, though.

Down in the Nightcar, Audrey and Layton don’t trust Terrence-Never-Terry. But they need him.

Terrence-Never-Terry warns the fugitive and the madam that the war will be bloody. Thanks for that! Then, he warns that he promised Melanie that he’d tell her where Layton was if he saw him. He doesn’t think that the classes will unite, either. He doesn’t believe in the revolution, and he’s not going to take part in it.

Uptrain, Melanie has righted her badge and gone back to the bunk room. Torturing is hard work, and she doesn’t have the stomach for it. Meanwhile, Till sees her chance. She gets the Jackboots to chip her in to do Brakeman’s business and check on the hostage. She walks in to find Josie, quivering and whimpering, next to a pile of frozen finger chunks.

After a brief bit of shock, the Brakeman asks what she can do. Josie just wants a little chat. She asks Till’s first name, and Till is suitably confused for a moment before deciding to just go along with it. Josie assures Bess that she didn’t snitch: Melanie doesn’t know that Bess is one of them. Little puppydog Bess cautiously responds, “I’m one of you?” in a way that makes me SURE she has no actual friends on the train. Can she hang out with Sykes in season three, please?

But, Bess is still a Brakeman! She only broke the law for Layton because drawering him was wrong! Josie tells Bess that’s the only reason she needs - she just has to decide what’s right and wrong. It’s a simple speech, but Bess is a simple girl - she’s on the side of the revolution now! She doesn’t have the keys to free Josie, but she promises to do what she can: find Layton, and tell him that Zarah is a traitor and Miles is ready to make the next move.

But just before Bess leaves, Josie gets an idea. She calls Bess back from the door, and asks her to do one more thing. Season one Josie is so. fucking. HARDCORE.

Melanie returns for more Milford Industries war crime time, but Ruth catches her just before she heads into the torture chamber. Ruth urgently tries to warn Melanie about the impending Grey-Folger mutiny, and Melanie is so rude to her (“I don’t give a shit… just do your job and fix it!”) that Ruth appears to decide, there and then, to join the other side! Incredible!

Melanie’s badge remains the right way up as she gives Josie an ultimatum: it’s Layton or Miles. Then, Melanie’s eyes grow wide as she notices that Josie’s forearm has grown ten whole inches! Or, more likely, she’s surprised to see that Josie’s entire hand is already frozen. That takes all the fun out of Milford Industries war crime time - Melanie was supposed to freeze each finger one by one!

As if it’s not plainly obvious, Melanie asks what happened to Josie’s hand. But Josie isn’t about to start answering Melanie’s questions now. Instead, she smashes her own hand off to escape the handcuffs, and elbows Melanie in the ribs. Lights wasn't kidding when she called Josie badass!

Melanie, like all Snowpiercer Engineers, can’t fight for shit. She calls for the guards to help, but unfortunately she designed the torturey hospitality room to be soundproof! No one outside realises that Josie has pinned Melanie against the door to show off her arm bones to the camera.

Even with a recently-shattered hand, Josie manages to start choking Melanie with the finger-freezing hose. The engineers should really attend a self-defence class or two! Melanie struggles relatively unsuccessfully for a while, and Josie kicks the hose connection off - seemingly hoping to freeze them both to death. But the tiny hole doesn’t let the freezing air in as fast as she expected, so they continue to struggle and fight while the outside air slowly hisses in. Finally, Melanie manages to break free and run for the door. She shuts Josie inside, to freeze to death alone.

On a completely serious note, this fight is messy and ugly and desperate and it’s very rare to see two women characters fight like that in a completely unsexualised way. Thank you, Snowpiercer!

Commander Grey wants to know why Melanie conducted an interrogation without him. Melanie doesn’t answer: she just orders him to take Josie to compost. Till overhears, and looks ready to cry. We don’t get to see the Jackboots enter the room before the next scene, but presumably they go in fast to set up the season two storyline!

Downtrain, Clay lets a very upset Till into the Nightcar’s secret revolution planning den. Till just says, “Layton… Josie…”, and lets her face do all the work to inform her big brother that his girlfriend is dead. They both look so sad. I hope they get a hug! Audrey? Clay? Get in there!

Uptrain, Bennett is bringing Miles - who is once again dressed in his fabulous train print pyjamas - to the engine. Melanie tells him that, to be an engineer on Snowpiercer, you have to make sacrifices. She’s careful not to mention that she means human sacrifices, such as Miles’ Tail mom. He asks her if she’s happy as an engineer. Of course she’s fucking not! But the needs of the train are more important than getting treatment for depression, Miles.

To end the episode, we return to the opening scene. Audrey is practicing her favourite hobby: obvious foreshadowing via song. She sings Bad Religion, which literally includes the lines ‘It's a bad religion/This unrequited love/To me, it's nothing but a one-man cult’. Incredible!

Also, she's a fucking angel! Look at that headpiece!

Audrey's performance is intercut with scenes of Layton screaming and crying in the hall of mirrors, as well as shots of the crowd. Till hugs herself - which is better than getting no hugs at all, I suppose. Pelton is nodding enthusiastically to the beat, seemingly having a great time! Astrid is looking serious, and Miss Gillies is crying. At the back of the crowd, even LJ seems to be having an emotion!

Clay comes to fetch LJ for her experience, and takes her to the hall of mirrors. Inside the seemingly-empty room, LJ creepily calls out, “Who do I get to play with tonight?” Then, when Layton emerges from the shadows, she promptly shits herself. Layton offers to tell LJ the “dirtiest little secret on the whole damn train,” leaving us all worried about exactly how much of LJ’s bullshit we’re gonna have to deal with in episode eight.

#snowpiercer 1.07 #snowpiercer s1e7 #snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer rewatch #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer season 1 #snowpiercer #milford industries war crime time

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 1, episode 3: Shifty Little Dodger

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e3: Access is Power. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

Creepy Klimpt gets the opening monologue this time. He tells us all about how he deals drugs in exchange for antique hairbrushes because he’s lonely. Am I supposed to feel sympathy for him? I don't. While he drones on, we follow the journey of Sean Beef’s access chip. It initially gets traded for a razor, but then zooms up to First where it has a brief stint as a gambling chip. Eugenia slams a pair of queens down on the poker table and tells Mr. Lam to sashay away. Next, we watch her trading the chip for an orgasm against what looks like the same wall/door that Layton and Zarah used last episode? Finally, Osweiller trades a little packet (probably Kronole) for the chip, and takes it to Terrence.

After the opening credits, Layton is having another gold-tinted flashback-y dream about Zarah. They argue again: he’s worried about what Zarah might have to do in the nightcar, but she thinks it won’t be as bad as life in the tail. Just in case the opening scene didn’t contain enough references to trading, Layton gives Zarah his wedding ring - she might be able to trade it in Third. Then, she walks through the tail to a chorus of verbal abuse from her neighbours. No wonder she wanted to leave!

Till and Osweiller pick Zarah up, meaning that Osweiller has been in the job for at least five years. Shouldn’t he be better at it by now?

Then, Layton is ripped from his flashback by two Jackboots. They stick a pillowcase over his head and drag him uptrain.

Next, we get another reminder that Twitter doesn’t exist on Snowpiercer: cat memes are now circulated via pneumatic tube. Representatives from all departments have gathered in the First class dining hall to see what Snowpeter’s been up to this week. Ruth tells the class to settle down, then hands the message to Melanie. Apparently they’re skipping the morning flirting ritual today.

Melanie opens by telling everyone that it’s been a tough forty eight hours. I am, once again, confused about the timeline of this show. She reads a speech from “Mr. Wilford”, and Grey accuses her of plagiarising Churchill. He also brings up the recent unrest - because of all the murder and the uprising. Luckily, Melanie knows exactly how to keep the people calm and relaxed: changing plans, and public violence! They’re going to bring Fight Night forward to tonight. Ruth tells her it’s a brilliant idea, then makes this expression:

The Jackboots bash Layton into every section of wall they can find on their journey to one of the hospitality rooms. Luckily for him, it's not the torture chamber! His new mom and dad Melanie and Roche are there to remind Layton that they are Very Disappointed in him for smuggling a lock pick in his ass yesterday. He’s not supposed to text his friends when he’s grounded!

They tell him that Sean Beef spied on the black market. Specifically, the cool new drug Kronole. Layton tells his mom and dad Melanie and Roche that Kronole isn’t new: it’s been in the tail for ages. That leads to this interaction:

Melanie’s powers of delusion are, quite honestly, enviable.

Layton sees an opportunity to take some of the heat off himself by getting his new stepbrother in trouble. He tells his dad Roche exactly how Kronole is getting into the tail: Osweiller trades it for blowjobs.

In the next scene, Till is waiting in the corridor for passers by to flirt with her. Or… no. One passerby in particular. It turns out Till is the reason Jinju was so happy in episode one!

Till starts to complain about work, but Jinju tells her to shut up: she just wants to fuck. When they’re finished with that, they cuddle for a while and discuss social mobility, because of course they do. Absolutely no one is surprised to learn that Till is the little spoon.

Then, it's time for the obligatory naked ass shot! Today, it’s Till’s turn. That’s three for three! Till continues their earlier conversation about work while she gets dressed, and uh-oh! Jinju lets slip that Nikki is not, in fact, unconscious. Jinju doesn’t want her girlfriend and her best friend/boss fighting, so Till promises to be sneaky about her illegal questioning.

Roche is furious with his son employee, Osweiller, and calls him a “shifty little dodger”. It’s nowehere near harsh enough in my opinion, but also very funny. It’s kinda cute that Roche is still surprised by police corruption after all these years!

Osweiller is busy pretending that he actually fought in the rebellion instead of getting thrown to safety by a Jackboot after taking a single punch. What a dick! His dad boss comes in with the truth, embarrassing him in front of his new friends. When they clear off, Roche clips him around the back of the head and accuses him of trading drugs for blowjobs. Layton gets in on the action too, giving his stepbrother another smack. Osweiller goes to hit him back, but his dad Roche restrains him.

Surprisingly, Osweiller has enough common sense not to tip Roche and Layton off to Terrence or Klimpt: he says he’s just trading the confiscated stuff. Then, in a move rivalling Melanie Cavill’s levels of delusion, he tries to claim that he was performing a humanitarian act. Given that we have just seen that Roche is okay with corporal punishment, I’m not sure how he resists the urge to smack Osweiller again.

Next, we have to suffer through another Osweiller scene! He’s dragged into a meeting with the mopping mafia, where Terrence explains that he makes his nail polish himself, because he loves what rattlesnake venom does to the colour. Osweiller convinces Terrence that he didn’t snitch, and he’s allowed back out to the lake to continue digging his hole.

In the chains, Roche questions Zarah: he needs to know what Sean Beef told her about Kronole. I’m not a professional spy or anything, but don’t spies have to keep information secret? Why would Sean tell his partners anything? Zarah insists that she knows nothing, and Roche leaves. Then, with no further questioning, she immediately tells Layton - who is clearly working as Roche’s partner - that the janitors are dealing drugs. Zarah… why?

Up in the First class dining room/gambling den/playground, children are literally running around while Firsties gamble and strip. Did Mr. Wilford forget to pack babysitters, as well as homicide detectives? What the fuck!? Lilah Folger accuses Ruth of using the casino and Fight Night as a distraction from the insurrection, murder and extinction. Ruth doesn’t even try to deny it:

She is so fucking great in every fucking second of every fucking scene!

Back in the lockup room, Roche delicately unpacks his lunch onto a tiny tablecloth. Adorable. Layton asks about Roche’s family, and Roche explains that two of his kids died. That’s why he adopted Osweiller, Till and Layton. Layton, in a thoroughly astounding move, compares Zarah relocating to Third to the deaths of Roche’s children. Roche somehow keeps his cool, and offers Layton a slice of apple. After a quick summary of the Sean Beef dilemma, they chat about Wilford. We learn that the engine is biosecure: supposedly that's the reason that no one has seen Wilford since departure. Roche apparently doesn't know about the engine's video link to the nightcar that we see in S2.

Before Layton can ask any more questions, Till barges in to let them know Nikki is awake. Roche isn’t interrupting his lunch break for anything: it’s already 2pm! He sends the kids off to play by themselves, as long as they’re back by curfew.

In the subtrain, Tristan drapes a coat around Melanie like the queen she is, and she gets an update from Bennett about the breaches. It’s not good. Bennett suggests uncoupling the tail, and Melanie responds by hitting him. She has nearly matched Mr. Wilford's record for most HR complaints in a single week, and this time she wants to break it! Bennett clarifies that he wasn’t suggesting genocide - they could relocate the people before dropping the cars. Melanie explains that it would probably lead to civil war, then laments:

Jinju calls, to tell Melanie that she maaaaaybe accidentally let classified information slip to that Brakeman she’s fucking? Oopsie! Melanie heads straight down to the clinic, where Till and Layton have just discovered that Nikki has some very similar symptoms to Kronole withdrawal.

Following Zarah’s trend of freely volunteering incriminating information without even being questioned, Klimpt admits that he’s been trading out suspension drugs. We don’t get much more information on that before Layton spots a bag of Miles’ hair in the drawers room. He immediately makes the relatively reasonable assumption that Miles is in a drawer, because why else would someone have a haircut in the drawer car? But Melanie assures Layton that Miles is fine! He’s an apprentice! The drawers car just doubles up as a barbershop for no fucking reason!

After a sweet but boring reunion between Layton and Miles, we finally get an update on what the tailies are up to: they've started a rock climbing club! There aren't a lot of rocks in the tail, but the tailies are used to improvising. Lights has made it all the way to the ceiling, which checks out: she seems like the kind of character who would have packed a carabiner or two in her apocalypse luggage.

She confirms that the train is running slow: they should have passed that mountain yesterday. Instead of assuring everyone that late trains are just a good old British tradition, Josie speculates that maybe all that shaking around yesterday was bad? From there, Murray escalates to potential power outages and water rations, and then another tailie suggests Mr. Wilford will kill them all. That was a quick spiral, friends! Let’s take a few deep breaths!

Josie then points out that they’ve gone seven years without getting uncoupled, so why would Wilford do it now? The revolutionaries agree to ‘double up to conserve heat’, and fanfic writers need to know exactly who shares a bunk with who, please? For… science?

Uptrain, Melanie tells Layton that he can’t see his friend/girlfriend until he finishes his homework! He can tell Josie all about Miles' new fork as soon as he IDs Sean Beef's killer.

Layton and Till decide they’re going to sneak out together to Fight Night. They need some more sibling bonding time! Till knows people, and they get to skip the queue: maybe she’s not such a bad little sister after all? Inside, Miss Audrey and Clay are riling up the crowd. For this week’s mini challenge, the queens have to catch falling animal pelts! Eugenia tosses a fox fur off the first class balcony, and Clay takes the win! Miss Audrey isn’t fazed: she knows her runway look will save her, and she’s ready to lipsync her way to the crown if she needs to.

Meanwhile, Melanie has convinced Bennett to let her borrow the Wilford soundboard for half an hour. She’s surprised to see that there’s an audio file called ‘fight_night_speech’. Did she already do this? It wouldn’t be the first time she’d blacked out from lack of sleep and forgotten she’d already ticked an item off her to-do list. She hits play, to check how it sounds.

“Good evening, passengers of Snowpiercer. I would like to inform you all that I am a psychotic old goat. I wet the bed until I was thirty-nine and sometimes I fuck puppets.”

Melanie sighs, hits pause, and renames the file ‘fuck_you_ben’ before quickly pasting together a more appropriate speech.

Back in the nightcar, the passengers love hearing from Wilford. Melanie should really consider starting a podcast using the Wilford sound board: it'd be a hit! Despite the fact that Miss Audrey, Clay and a referee are all present with microphones, it’s Melanie who announces the start of the fight over the PA system. Sure? The contestants immediately start throwing punches, and the crowd goes wild.

Layton senses another opportunity to get yelled at/laid, and tells Till that he wants to chat to Zarah alone. Till lets him go, and Lilah literally uses opera glasses to watch him walk to the bar, because of course she does!

Zarah closes the magical noise-cancelling curtains to the backroom, and gives Layton a quick who’s who of the mopping mafia. She returns his wedding ring - the one that he gave her in the flashback - in case he needs to trade it for anything. He says he still loves her, she says she loves him too, and I say I fucking hate this scene.

In the clinic, Nikki is getting restless. She decides to take herself for a nice little nighttime stagger through the train. We can all guess where she's going to end up!

Osweiller - who is decidedly not a janitor - has been elected as the janitors’ representative to talk to Layton. Osweiller’s a dick about it: he’s still pissed that Layton told his dad boss that he was dealing drugs. Layton is pretty confident that he’s the favourite child (maybe tied with Till, but he’s definitely higher ranked than Osweiller), so he threatens to tell their dad boss lies about Osweiller if he doesn’t set up a meeting with Terrence.

Nikki rocks up to Fight Night! How the fuck did she get past security?! Whatever! Till tries to deal with the situation, but she doesn’t manage to get Nikki out of the room before LJ notices her. LJ promptly tells her parents that Nikki is innocent, and neither of them seem to question how their perfect little psycopath could possibly know that.

Below them, the Fight Night fighting spreads to the crowd. The Firsties are fucking loving it. LJ throws a glass off the balcony, because she’s a little shit.

Meanwhile, Layton is escorted downtrain for a date with Terrence - never Terry.

Layton tells Terrence-Never-Terry that his drugs are poison, and that he should be ashamed of himself. Roche would be so proud of his son! Terrence-Never-Terry had no idea that Sean Beef was a Kronole spy. He tells Layton that he used to work as a janitor in a high rise building before the freeze, and the train is just like his old job. Layton then gives Terrence-Never-Terry and the viewers a quick citizenship lesson: Third and the tail total 70% of the train’s population. Terrence-Never-Terry then suggests that they could “see who’s in the penthouse” of the train. So, he’s clearly got some suspicions about Melanie, too. This list is getting long!

Finally, Terrence-Never-Terry gives Layton a big break in the case: Sean Beef was with a Firstie a few hours before he died. Layton responds by asking his new ally for one more thing: an access chip.

Roche is clearing the nightcar, and informing patrons that the border is closed. Also, the subtrain is out of order. Do some of these people have a four-five mile walk ahead of them? That doesn't sound fun! As he continues to herd the patrons out of the car, Ruth delivers one of the most Ruth lines yet:

Melanie and Ruth's daily flirting time has, apparently, been rescheduled for this evening! They divide up the remainder of the night’s work in between checking each other out. The Folgers are waltzing together (to silence - that’s how Melanie can tell they’re really good at it). Robert suggests that Mr. Wilford could cut the tail loose, and Melanie still doesn’t offer any explanation as to why she won't do it. I'm tempted to start a conspiracy theory that Melanie kept the tail because it contains the only car with a supply door, and she knew something about Big Alice the whole time.

Roche and Layton meet Melanie to tell her that Layton has a description of Sean Beef’s killer. Melanie agrees that he’s worked hard enough to be allowed to see his friend/girlfriend, so they pay a quick visit to the tail.

Luckily for Josie, Layton is still feeling a little delicate from yesterday's wire smuggling adventure. He has chosen to hide today's small contraband item in his mouth. He gives her a quick update on Miles, tells her that his love life is a mess, and then kisses her through the window. Melanie speaks for us all, and sends the Jackboots in to separate them.

Before she shuts the window, Melanie makes sure to take a good look at Josie. She must be bad with faces, because by episode seven she (supposedly) has no idea who Josie is!

Layton gets pinned up against the gate, and Melanie demands the killer’s description from him. But it’s too late! The dick hunter’s accomplice is already roaming the corridors of Snowpiercer, tying up loose ends. He takes out a guard, a clinic staff member, and then has a menacing little chat with Nikki and turns off her nightlight.

In the tail, Josie looks a little shell shocked as she walks back to her bunk. It’s okay, sweetie, the viewers didn’t understand half of that scene either! She puts her hand to her lips and smiles in a way that threatens to decimate her whole character - but then, she draws a tiny container out of her mouth. The little access chip that could has made it all the way from First to the tail. That scrap of wire must be so fucking jealous.

#incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer 1.03 #snowpiercer s1e3 #snowpiercer #snowpiercer season 1 #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer netflix

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 1, episode 2: Sean Beef

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e2: Prepare to Brace. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

It’s the morning after the battle. Josie provides this episode's voiceover, and explains that the only thing keeping her alive is petty spite. Highly relatable.

Meanwhile, Ruth is making sure to get her 10k steps in by walking to work through puddles of yesterday’s spilled blood. She takes to the IKEA stool/stage, and then continues Till’s tradition of treating the tailies like naughty school children.

We learn that Josie and her clever revolution bandana managed to hit the sweet spot between sexism and white woman privilege: she’s completely off the hook for killing two Jackboots last night! Winnie, however, is not so lucky. Strong Boy’s personal trainer is plucked from the crowd, and for a tense moment the Tailies prepare to watch Winnie get her arm frozen off. But then, Winnie’s mom, Suzanne, rushes forward to volunteer as tribute. Ruth returns one foot to the stage, and announces that Suzanne Everdeen will be the Tail’s first ever volunteer.

There’s no doomscrolling Twitter before bed on Snowpiercer, so instead they’ve created their own version: the Notary tells Z-Wreck, Strong Boy and Pike that they have no rights, and hints at some strange culty vibes. Then, Klimpt puts them into suspension in the drawers.

On a brighter note - just kidding! It’s actually worse in the Tail! Much, much worse! Suzanne’s arm gets frozen and shattered into rat food.

Josie then finally does the last part of the opening monologue, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard “eat the rich” said in such a posh accent before.

After the opening credits, Melanie is marking Javi’s homework when the train begins to shake. Just like a family of rats in a geothermal vent, unnecessary gendering has, unsurprisingly, survived the apocalypse. We find out that the train is a girl. Diversity win! Another woman in STEM!

Bennett and Javi inform Melanie that the train has triggered a few avalanches this morning. In return, she informs them that she has to go and deal with First, who are being overdramatic about just two little murders and one tiiiiny uprising. Javi would like to continue discussing the issue of the deadly avalanches, and insists that they need to slow the train for safety. But Melanie thinks an avalanche would be less scary than Lilah Folger’s reaction to closing the Jacuzzi car for a couple of hours, so she puts on her Manager Hat, ignores Javi’s very valid concerns, and tells him to just do what she says. Javi wears the expression of a weary employee who knows he’ll get the blame when everything inevitably goes wrong.

Layton - who was apparently allowed to go back to bed for five more minutes after watching his friends get drawered - gets woken up by his new dad Roche. Till has a very pretty bruise on her jaw, and is grumpy because it’s Layton’s fault. Roche tells Till to be nice to her new brother: they’ve gotta spend the whole day together!

We move on to… another full shot of a naked ass! That’s two for two, so far. After their public biosecurity showers, the sanitation workers run into Layton and Till on their way to work. But they barely get to interact before the scene cuts to Melanie and Ruth’s daily flirting appointment in the First class dining hall.

Melanie’s W badge is upside down: she was working for Milford Industries all morning. We don’t linger on that for very long though, because the iguana has to make another quick cameo! It's wearing the same outfit as the previous episode, which strikes me as very unusual for a first class passenger. I wonder if it lost its luggage at departure?

Ruth then notices Melanie's badge, and because it’s still Flirting Time she reaches forward and spins it around. In response, Melanie makes an expression that’s gayer than any joke I could ever write, and the good ship Mel/Ruth catches another wave.

Lilah Folger and Mr. Sharma are worried about the rebellion, so Melanie does a little bit of gentle gaslighting to keep them calm. Lilah reveals that she used to be a lawyer, and LJ immediately publicly drags her mother. She’s a better comedian than Osweiller, at least. Lilah Sr. replies by casually reminding everyone that the freeze taught them all that they have the capacity to kill. Excuse me, what? Is she threatening to kill her daughter over a joke? Did she just admit to killing people? Is she also accusing Melanie of killing people? (e.g. Wilford and/or Alex?) I need a chat with Lilah Folger asap to dissect that comment please.

Till takes her new big brother to the chains, where he receives verbal abuse and sees some more foreshadowing - a baby! Till and Layton grab some noodles with Jakes, the Tunnelman who found the body. Layton asks him “Hey, if I were to lead a band of revolutionaries through the train, what checkpoints would I need to worry about?” But Till is a quick learner: she detects what Layton is doing, and stops Jakes from answering the question.

In the clinic, Nikki’s having a pretty rough time waking up. Jinju suggests that maybe Mr. Wilford should stop drawering people because it’s clearly dangerous and doesn’t work properly. But Melanie and Klimpt don’t care about little details like that!

Meanwhie, Till and Layton have finished their noodles, and finally visit the nightcar!

Miss Audrey’s foreshadowing medium of choice is song, so she treats us to a few lines of Say it ain’t so, Joe(seph Wilford). The song includes several on-the-nose gems, such as:

We’ve pinned our hopes on you, Joe

One man’s word held the country together

We’re clinging to his charm and determined smile but the good old days are gone

The image and the empire may be falling apart

I’m sure they’re telling us lies, Joe

The truth is getting fierce

So, by the time Layton asks Audrey about Melanie Cavill’s role on the train and she replies, “It’s her lips to God’s ear, isn’t it?”, we can be relatively sure that Audrey knows Melanie is Mr. Wilford.

To firmly establish herself as a true ally to the working classes, Audrey gives Layton a free drink and gets him some time alone with Zarah. Audrey and Zarah do a very poor job of describing what they actually do in the nightcar, and instead let Layton experience it for himself.

Layton’s experience takes him back to the day he proposed to Zarah. It’s a cute scene: they’re both naked, in bed, and they’re about to share donuts when Zarah notices a ring fall from one of them. Then, I shit you not, Layton asks her, “You wanna do this thing?” Zarah, very understandably, does not immediately say yes to his lame ass proposal. But, after a bit more discussion, they get engaged.

(Sidenote: the subtitles spell Zarah’s surname differently in this scene and I find it very annoying!)

Zarah was clearly not trying to get laid when she walked into the experience room, as evidenced by the facts that she is wearing the ugliest brown suit I’ve ever seen and she almost immediately began to talk about meditation:

However, the memories of donut sex prove too hot to handle. Zarah and Layton fuck against the door, to an unnecessarily epic soundtrack.

As they get redressed, Zarah tells Layton that Sean Wise - who so clearly had a spy's name - was probably a spy. He got perks, like winning the baby lottery. She was going to have a baby with him. i.e. she recently stopped whatever birth control they use in Third. But Layton either doesn’t understand her implication, or is completely happy with the idea of having an unplanned child with his ex! Before they have time to discuss it further, Till interrupts them to pass judgement and be jealous of her new big brother: she’s never had sex in the Nightcar!

They head down to the clinic next, and meet Doctor Pelton. She tells them all about how she ended up working on Wilford’s Dreamliner while she prepares to do her first ever autopsy. Layton stares longingly at Till’s pen the whole time. When Pelton finishes her speech, Layton teaches his new little sister how to be a homicide detective. They take a proper look at the body’s legs, and Layton finally suggests that the missing limbs could have made their way to the butchers.

Somehow, despite Till and Pelton’s dark senses of humour and this show’s propensity for heavy foreshadowing, nobody refers to the cannibalised murder victim as Sean Beef. I would like to lodge a formal complaint.

Layton does a bit of dramatic storytelling about how one time, at band camp, everyone in the Tail ate a bit of raw cannibal heart. Even the writers don’t know what to say about that revelation, so instead we cut to the cattle car.

Layton and Till try to get the butcher to let them in, claiming “Brakemen’s business.” But the butcher knows his rights! He tells them to come back with the notary. Take note, kids: no warrant? No entry! Don’t let cops trick you into inviting them in.

Elsewhere, Melanie lives her best matrix fantasy by chipping open several cars full of drawers, as far as the eye can see. But before she has time to start fighting Klimpt and Jinju in slow motion, an avalanche hits and they have to brace.

Melanie should have listened to her employee! There’s a huge avalanche and the butcher and the cows all die. But that’s good news for Till and Layton: they get to play in the butcher’s freezer without a warrant! Layton finds a handy bit of wire, and Till discovers a ventilation shaft full of dismembered, frozen limbs. A fruitful trip to the freezer for everyone!

Boki waits for Melanie and Bennett to finish investigating the breached car, then pretty much just indirectly accuses them of lying about Mr. Wilford. Bennett and Melanie do not do the best job of hiding their initial reaction:

But eventually they unconvincingly cover for why Melanie is wearing a breachsuit. Boki and Melanie argue about the speed of the train, and Melanie once again doesn’t give a fuck about health and safety: she gives him just half the speed reduction he needs to repair the damage. HR are still working through their complaints from last episode, so she'll get away with it for now.

Back in the Tail, it’s time for school! Since the trigonometry teacher had to die to trigger a revolution, the classes have had to combine. Miles keeps answering the easy math questions that are supposed to be for the kids half his age. Lights is far more patient than me, and manages not to tell the little shit to shut the fuck up.

Meanwhile, Patterson (Winnie’s brother) has been allowed out of the Tail to get some painkillers for his mother. In an unsurprising twist, we find that Osweiller provides drugs to the Tail, in exchange for oral sex. They finish up early to avoid getting caught, and only when he's zipping up his pants does Osweiller explain that he doesn’t really have painkillers - just Kronole. He is a truly disgusting human being. Patterson tells Osweiller that wasn’t the deal; he doesn't want to give Kronole to his Mom! As always, Osweiller’s a dick about it.

Patterson dejectedly hands Josie the Kronole. For everyone’s sake, he doesn’t answer her question about how he got it. Josie gives Suzanne the drugs.

Uptrain, Jinju inexplicably has to explain to Bennett that the dead cows don’t just mean ‘no more beef’. There’s also no more milk, manure, methane... How does Ben not already know this?? He's supposed to be smart!

Next, Ruth makes yet another trip to the Tail. Have they considered erecting a permanent stage for her? It would save a lot of stool placement time. Ruth gives Winnie a menacing little wave, then announces the new apprentices: two kids we’ve never met, and the boy they call Miles and Miles!

From there, we immediately cut to Till having a phone call with her dad boss. Layton gets her to hang up before she accidentally ends with, “I love you” and makes things awkward for them all. Then they have another little detective lesson, before a Jackboot deliberately bumps into Layton and calls him a Tailie. After their day of bonding, Till has decided that, actually, she likes her new big brother. She defends Layton’s honour by beating up the bully, even though he’s twice her size.

When she lets him go, the Jackboot calls her a Tail fucker.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of absolutely no one writing fanfiction. Seriously: what the fuck is that Jackboot talking about?

Layton and Till head home to tell their dad boss that they’re friends now. Till gives Layton a two second patdown, and he manages not to sound sarcastic when he says she’s good at it. The Brakemen shut Layton in the cell, then leave for the night.

As soon as they’ve gone, Layton takes Melanie's eternal advice and prepares to brace. Sqeamish readers/viewers may want to do the same. The train detective undoes his pants, winces, and a moment later his folded-up piece of wire lands in the sink, next to a pen.

If Layton did what they’re implying that he did… look. I'm not trying to judge the guy. But imagine if they had to pause a murder investigation and a brewing revolution just because Layton perforated his bowel trying to smuggle a scrap of wire in his ass! Most of the doors are controlled by chips anyway! Miss Audrey is gonna need to have a thorough chat with him one day soon about the importance of flared bases.

Thankfully, Layton seems fine for now. He makes a little map of the train and tries to hand it off to the sanitation crew on their way home. But they don't pick it up. He tries to buy them time, by letting the Jackboots beat him to a pulp. Unfortunately, only the second part of that plan is successful. He receives several strong kicks to the ribs and multiple potentially-fatal blows to the head.

Miles and Josie have a sweet but boring goodbye that I can't be bothered to write about, and then we cut back to Layton. Luckily, lethal injuries don't affect main characters on Snowpiercer! Layton's got a few cuts, but he's fully conscious. He's cuffed to a chair in the Brakemen's lockup, and his mom and dad Melanie and Roche are Very Disappointed in him. Melanie asks what he sees when he looks at the train, and Layton just copies his friend Old Ivan's answer: it’s a fortress to class. Melanie is suitably unimpressed. She snaps again, and starts shouting about how difficult it is to keep everyone alive.

But Layton is too busy spitting blood from his mouth to sympathise, and when Melanie finishes her rant, he confronts her: he knows that Sean Beef was a spy, and that the real reason that Mr. Wilford needs a detective is to find out what secrets Sean spilled before he died.

Melanie has had enough of Layton's shit, and decides to take some inspiration from Lilah Folger for her next move: she tells Layton he'd already be dead if Mr. Wilford didn't need him alive to resolve this case.

Layton has just enough time before the credits roll to remind her that she's not his real mom.

#snowpiercer 1.02 #snowpiercer s1e2 #snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer #snowpiercer season 1 #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer netflix

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 1, episode 6: Blame it on the Bogie

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e6: Trouble Comes Sideways. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

Osweiller’s having a shave and monologuing about how, actually, some peoples’ lives are better on the train. The other scenes under the monologue include some pale goop leaking into an electrical box, some dark goop leaking out of Layton, and Clay handing out flyers for a general strike. It’s gonna be a busy episode!

After the opening credits, the engineers are altered to an electrical short at subtrain platform 312. Bennett volunteers to go, and Javi is a little bitch about it. Bennett gets all the fun jobs! Bennett doesn’t have to follow protocol! Bennett knows exactly how to handle the situation: he’s a little bitch right back! Does Javi want to invoke Wilford’s no fraternising in the engine rule? Javi points out that Melanie said they’d keep Wilford’s order when they stole the train - but hey, if she can let LJ off at the trial, then she can shag the help, too. They’re both really mean today! Bennett goes in for the kill:

Listen. I know that, realistically, Javi is probably just referring to having to lie about the whole ‘Melanie is Wilford’ thing. But I’m choosing to interpret this as him also confirming that he’s gay. Congrats, Javi! I love your shirt, by the way!

Next door, in the bunk room, Jinju is trying to get Melanie to meditate. I have never identified with Melanie Cavill more strongly than in this scene: she fidgets around for about ten seconds, then completely gives up. They discuss the strike plans. Jinju asks her what she’s going to do, and Melanie replies, “I’m going to crush it.” Girlboss! Crush those workers! What a capitalist hero! Then, to make sure she gets in her first HR complaint of the day, Melanie asks about Jinju’s wedding night. But we learn that there was no wedding night. Brakeman Bourgeoisie didn’t come home.

We immediately find out why: Till was searching for her little brother all night. When she finds him the next morning, she tries to apologise for smashing his skull in and leaving him for dead in the drawers car. As always, Osweiller’s a dick about it. This time, though, he's kinda justified.

In the Chains, Layton is still having a rough time in withdraweral. Zarah comforts him after a nightmare, and when he calms down a bit he asks her how he ended up in her container. Zarah tells him all about Josie’s quest, and that his curse is now lifted. Then, she asks him why he was in the drawers. He did what he was supposed to, so why would they punish him?

Given that Zarah outed Layton as a detective so that he could come uptrain and stop them pinning Sean Beef’s murder on her, surely she’s not ignorant enough to believe that people only get drawered when they deserve punishment? Anyway, they don’t dwell on that inconsistency in her character; Zarah and Layton quickly descend into their usual routine of yelling at each other about their breakup in the Tail.

But what’s not usual is Layton’s level of aggression: just one of many fun drawer side effects he’ll experience this episode! Zarah does what Roche has been itching to do for [however long has passed since episode 1], and slaps some sense into him. Layton asks whether Zarah is going to turn him in, and she tells him she won’t. They are both still very angry with each other.

Outside, Melanie is being escorted through the Chains by three Jackboots. She’s treated to some unimaginative but semi-accurate insults from angry Thirdies.

Just wait til they see what Audrey gets up to in season two!

Melanie climbs up onto a little stage and gives a speech. She reminds the Thirdies that their labour is their ticket. When someone tries to speak out against Melanie, the Jackboots promptly beat them to a pulp. Melanie finishes up quickly: if the strikes go ahead, then ten randomly-selected striking passengers will be forced to switch places with ten tailies. It sounds highly unlikely to me: if Layton knew too much to go back to the tail after a couple of daytrips around the train, then surely the Thirdies who have lived there for seven years also know too much to be sent there? But it’s a good bluff - she’s definitely given the people something to think about. Audrey and Clay, however, still seem pretty determined to go ahead.

As soon as Melanie’s speech is over, Josie invites herself into Zarah’s container. Do people not knock in Third? Josie passes Zarah in the tight doorway to remind the audience just how much they hate each other, then rushes over to Layton. Layton needs to leave: Zarah’s container is the first place Melanie will look when she realises his drawer is empty. Layton and Zarah haven’t had a chance to make up from their fight yet, and Zarah looks so heartbroken when she asks if she'll see him again.

But Josie doesn’t have time for sympathy! There can be no more contact between Zarah and Layton, for their own good. Can she do my next breakup for me, please? Zarah reminds them that she’s not the enemy, and gently hands Layton some clothes. The man can barely stand, which begs the question: did Josie and Zarah just have to work together to dress him? THAT’S a scene I wanna see! Imagine how hilariously awkward that must have been for everyone!

Josie carries Layton back through the Chains, and they catch each other up on their secrets as they stagger towards the clinic. Josie explains that she swaps out with Astrid to sneak uptrain, and Layton explains why he got drawered: he figured out that Wilford isn’t on the train, and that Melanie is just using Wilford’s name. Layton doesn’t want anyone else to know yet - not until they figure out how to best use the secret. In that case, discussing it in a public place might not be their best move? Whatever!

Down in the subtrain, Bennett checks out the electrical short. Lots of different things are sparking, especially something outside. Shit.

Josie has managed to carry Layton all the way to the third class clinic, where Dr. Pelton is waiting for him with all her usual tact and charm.

Dr. Pelton puts up a little quarantine sign to prevent anyone walking in, and asks Layton to lie down on the bed. Josie helps him to remove his coat, and he snaps at her before promptly falling over. The drawers have really fucked him up! Josie lifts him onto the bed, and I really love this dynamic of tiny Josie throwing him around! Dr. Pelton is very familiar with withdraweral symptoms, and lists some off while Layton tries to resist examination. Josie insists that he lets the doctor check him and, yeah, I’d be kind of scared of her, too?

Dr. Pelton cracks out her best medical lingo and tells Layton that his “melon” might feel bad for days. Layton is too fucked up to understand and/or believe Josie when she explains that Dr. Pelton is an ally. And not just to the revolution! She is very supportive of Till and Jinju's marriage!

Layton immediately slurs out an accusation that Pelton knows so much about the drawers because she’s working with Melanie and Creepy Klimpt. The doctor remains pretty chill about it, even when Layton yells at her to make a guess about what the drawers are for. She tells Layton and Josie that there are hundreds of drawers, used for a variety of concerning reasons - namely mass incarceration, human experimentation and extrajudicial punishment. Yikes! She then refers to it as “[Melanie’s] own little North Korea”, which is somewhat problematic but also interesting! As far as Sean Beef and LJ knew, the drawers were Wilford’s plan. Maybe Dr. Pelton belongs on the list of characters who suspect Melanie is Wilford?

Next, we catch up with Till and Osweiller. He’s busy telling her about his plans to blackmail her for an endless supply of seafood. If anyone finds out that she knocked him out and let two tailies loose in Third, she’d lose her job and an arm. And because that wasn’t mean enough, he adds that Jinju would dump her if that happened. Ouch! He’s such a dick!

The Brakemen head over to Walter the papermaker, to question him about the strike flyers. Osweiller steals some of Walter’s food, apparently just to taunt Till. When Walter insists he doesn’t know anything about the flyers, Osweiller assaults him. Walter looks to Till and begs her, “Please help!” But, if Till wants to keep both of her arms, she’s powerless to stop her little brother from being a dick. Walter finally reveals that it was Clay who made the flyers. Osweiller claims he’s having fun! Till looks nauseous and weary.

Down in the Tail, Suzanne has died. That’s the trouble when your only doctor is also your only Princess rescuer! Lights closes Suzanne’s eyes, while Big John tries to console Patterson and Winnie. Murray puts a load of unnecessary pressure on a kid who literally just watched his mother die, and Patterson decides he doesn’t want a ceremony. Lights and Murray cry together, and Lights comes up with a plan to lift everyone’s spirits: the rock climbing club are gonna join forces with the cinema club!

For Melanie's first flirt of the day, she visits Bennett in the subtrain. She puts on a nice warm coat, but honestly I can’t see it helping much when her legs are completely bare from the knee down? Her feet must be freezing! (not that I’m one to talk about femme fashion)

We learn that the electrical short has caused a break to seize. Bennett seems pretty relaxed about it, but Melanie points out that the bogie motor can’t take the heat from all the sparks. They need a breach team, immediately. Shouldn’t Bennett have figured that out? Would they have avoided the incoming disaster if he had acted sooner? I'm gonna blame Bennett for this whole disaster.

Up in the clinic, Layton is still being a dick to Dr. Pelton. We find out that she recently joined the rebellion because she just became one of the ten percent of passengers who have a little red X on their file. She doesn’t know what it means, but there are rumours of a list of enemies of the state. The doctor thinks that Melanie would be stupid enough to display information like that on a passenger file, where everyone could see. Interestingly, Layton and Josie both have passenger files. Melanie and co. must have much more information than we realised about the Tailies!

In the primary school, Boki is using a tiny model of Snowpiercer to tell the kids how cool the Breach workers are. That’s Breach workers, not ‘Breachmen’! Boki wants the kids to learn inclusive, feminist language, and I approve! He gets the kids to listen to the train’s ‘music’, and it’s very sweet. Then, Melanie comes to interrupt the lesson: Mr. Wilford needs Boki to help switch out the bogie motor. Before leaving, Boki ruins all the fun by using his last few seconds in the classroom to attempt to indoctrinate the children into the Wilford cult.

Miss Gillies tells the children to get back to work, and Melanie decides to wander through the class and distract Miles. Sure? Miss Gillies doesn’t seem at all bothered by the intrusion, so I guess Melanie must make a habit of disrupting the class to chat about the gifted kid’s homework.

In the Nightcar, Zarah is looking worried. From the other side of the room, Miss Audrey immediately notices. She takes Zarah aside for a scene that’s about to set a whole new ship asail. Zarah warns Audrey how awful the tail is, and says that she doesn’t have Audrey’s courage. In other words, Zarah isn’t going to join the strike. Audrey points out that leaving your husband to move to a place you’ve never been and work a mysterious job with a bunch of people you don’t know is actually pretty courageous. Then, she drops this line:

Can season one Audrey adopt me, please?

Audrey then notices Zarah’s got her hand on her belly. Did she eat dodgy noodles again? Not everyone can stomach that new beef. Wait, no! Zarah’s a woman in her thirties who just had sex with her ex! She must be pregnant! Audrey goes straight ahead and congratulates Zarah which... Sure? Maybe they’re close enough that Audrey can be relatively confident that Zarah would be pleased to be pregnant. But given that they’re literally about to strike in protest of their living conditions, Zarah's partner was recently murdered, and she’s fresh off an argument with her ex-husband who was just falsely imprisoned... personally, I think I would have gone with a more cautious reaction than ‘congratulations’.

Melanie interrupts the moment with an announcement over the PA system: there’s a mechanical disruption in car 780, and some services will be closed until it’s fixed. In the clinic, Josie realises that the announcement means she has to get back to Sanitation duty. She’s going to leave Layton with Dr. Pelton. Layton has another little ragey withdraweral moment, and Josie tells him to slow down. It's a nice switch from their positions in episode one, when he wanted the revolution to go slower! He grabs her hand as she’s leaving, and sneakily steals her friendship bracelet. Lights is gonna be so upset!

Layton isn't particularly subtle about his escape, and Sweary Josie quickly chases him through a few cars. But he eventually manages to lock a gate behind him, blocking her path. Layton is determined to find Melanie in car 780: he might not get a better chance to reveal that he’s escaped from the drawers and doom them all!

Melanie and Ruth are doing today’s daily flirting on the move. I can’t say I blame Ruth: Melanie looks so much more comfortable in this black outfit than she does in her hospitality teals, and it’s nice to see her happy. Ruth asks Melanie how Mr. Wilford’s doing - he’s been making some unusual choices recently, and Ruth is concerned. Then, in true Ruth fashion she takes it too far. She thinks that, by indulging the Thirdies at the trial, Mr. Wilford was asking for the strike action. “You can’t spare the rod with these people!” Yikes! Melanie decides that the best way to handle this is to be patronising. Because... of course she does. Ruth plays along until Melanie disappears down to the subtrain, then gives us the best Grumpy Ruth expression yet.

While the breach team are taking out the broken motor, Layton is stumbling around the subtrain looking for someone to threaten with his scalpel. Luckily, Melanie walks right up to him. He grabs her and rants about lists of people getting thrown into the drawers, and we discover that Melanie has a bit of a knife kink. Fun!

Meanwhile, next door, a chain breaks sending a heavy mechanical part smashing into Engineer DiMarco. The camera gets splattered with fake blood, and then the heavy thing drops. Whatever it hits, it causes the train car to sway around on the rails. In turn, the car pulls some other cars with it, resulting in passengers all over the train getting thrown about in a very fun little montage! Boki and Ben peer down into the sub-subtrain to figure out how fucked they are.

Talking of sub, Melanie desperately explains to Layton that the drawers are ‘not a prison - they’re a lifeboat’. Four hundred people have been selected for diversity, health and skills, to ride out the freeze in a drawer in case there’s a deadly mold outbreak on Snowpiercer. Or in case there’s a deadly mechanics issue. Like right now. Layton stops threatening Melanie with the scalpel and lets her go fix the train.

Melanie needs to cool off after all that, so she heads down to the sub-subtrain to take a look at the issue. Bennett can’t get a reading from one of their sensors. Someone’s going to have to go outside and check it. Boki is RIGHT THERE, so they’ve definitely given up pretending that Melanie isn’t an engineer. She insists she’s heading out, and suits up. Javi radios in to get an update, and they figure out that the whole train is going to derail in eight to fourteen minutes if they don’t fix the issue.

In the Brakemen's lockup, we catch up with Till and Osweiller who are bracing on the bars of the cell. Till finally says what we’ve all been thinking since episode one:

She’s right, and she should say it!

Till explains that she’s growing a moral compass: that’s why she knocked her little brother out and aided a fugitive! She’s not gonna follow laws when those laws are wrong! Sweetie, you’re in the wrong profession. She tries to have a heart-to-heart with her little brother, and he tells her to bugger off.

Down in the Tail, they’re going ahead with the matinee showing of Frozen 3. Lights uses the spy hole to project an image of the outside onto a white sheet, for the whole Tail to see. I love her.

Uptrain, Ruth scuttles into the non-torturey hospitality room to make an announcement. Can all passengers please remain calm while they die? LJ flicks one of the few remaining unbroken dishes off a First class table while the rest of the First class passengers cower on the floor around her. She’s awful, but she’s iconic. The tailies are enjoying Frozen 3, even though the picture's upside down.

The engine has reached the bridge! Melanie has six minutes to fix the deadly mechanical fault. To do so, she has to dangle upside down out of a moving train. She really should have let Bennett and his long arms do this job, because she can’t fucking reach the broken tube. Did she seriously not think to bring something with her in case this happened? Are three thousand people about to die because Melanie [redacted] Cavill forgot that humans have evolved to use tools? Has she learned nothing from all those eugenics books?

Ruth goes off-book to deliver a very emotional speech about how she just knows they’re going to make it! Maybe some passengers find it comforting, but the ones we see certainly don’t: Zarah cuddles up to Audrey in the Nightcar. Jinju cries alone against the door of her apartment. And, in the clearest sign that at least some passengers are convinced they’re about to die, Till holds her little brother’s hand. He doesn’t even tell her to bugger off this time.

Layton’s hangover is wearing off, so he goes for a little run through the derailing train. He arrives back at the clinic to a warm welcome from Sweary Josie.

These characters really know how to choose their last words!

Layton tells her that he didn’t kill Melanie. The damage is bad, and all he could think was that he wanted to see her. Aww. They cuddle and cry on the clinic floor.

Meanwhile, Melanie… still isn’t using a tool to reach the loose wire? Seriously!? Luckily she manages to reach it anyway, and jams it into the socket just in time to save the train from falling off the bridge.

The all-clear is called, and we take another quick tour of the train to catch up with some of the main characters. Zarah and Audrey hug more. Ruth clutches her chest and does the W salute in the non-torturey hospitality room. Electricity is restored to the Tail, and Winnie looks behind the projector screen to remind us all that she’s really fucking cute. Layton, Josie and Pelton laugh together in relief.

In the lockup room, Till and Osweiller notice that they’re still holding hands. They quickly drop them, and silently agree to never speak of it again. Then, he opens up: he was thinking about his mum at the end. He’s not going to tell on his big sister. She should probably go and check on her wife.

Back in the subtrain, Melanie has returned. Boki declares, “Ten fingers! One nose! Okay! We did!” What a guy! Then, Bennett takes the energy right down by telling Melanie, “You’re kind of amazing.” It’s one of the lamest lines I’ve ever heard, but Melanie seems to like it.

Next, Till finally shows up to her new apartment. She’s carrying a bag and a picture and crying, so you know she’s finally ready to commit! She apologises for fucking up last night and then asks “What if I’m not the person you think I am?” They’ve been married for one! fucking! Day! Jinju is very sweet and forgiving, but their relationship is clearly doomed already.

In the Chains, Boki and Bennett get a hero’s welcome. Boki is fucking loving it.

Somehow, the responsibility of giving the speech falls to… Bennett? Okay!? His words don’t make a lot of sense, but luckily everyone has already started drinking. By the time he ends by shouting the word “roaring!”, the crowd cheer anyway. They toast to the engine eternal and the great Mr. Wilford.

As Miss Audrey and Clay walk through the car, Melanie spots an opportunity to gloat. Given that everyone almost died today, they’re too busy celebrating to strike. Audrey fires back that the celebration will end, but Third’s grievances won’t. Mr. Wilford won’t always have a disaster to save him. Season one Audrey is so fucking great. Melanie is riding too high to believe her, though. She tells Audrey to read the room. Why are half the arguments in this show so flirty? (I'm not complaining - just wondering!)

Meanwhile, Doctor Pelton is letting Josie and Layton stay in her apartment:

Josie and Layton have a very quick chat, but he doesn’t want to talk about Melanie. Josie suggests that he should pick a topic, then. He picks sex. They kiss and strip to gentle piano music. She’s already thrown him onto Zarah’s bed yesterday and the clinic bed today, so decides to make it a hattrick and chuck him onto Pelton’s bed, too.

In a shocking turn of events, there’s not a single full shot of a naked ass! Not just in the sex scene, but in the whole episode! Those of us who have seen more of the show know that the assless streak doesn't last. Still, it was nice to have hope for a while.

In the final scene of the episode, Melanie is looking haunted in the non-torturey hospitality room. Miles comes in to see her, wearing WILFORD BRANDED TRAIN-PRINT PYJAMAS!

Let’s just talk about that for a moment, shall we? It makes sense that there are Ws all over the train. It even makes sense that the jumpsuits and uniforms have some Ws on them. But why did Wilford Industries branch out into designing children’s clothes? It’s fucking wild! I can barely concentrate on anything else in this scene. These pyjamas are incredible! The “important” part of this scene is that Melanie gives Miles a symbolic caliper that Mr. Wilford once gave to her, and tells Miles that there’s something Mr. Wilford needs from him. BUT THE PYJAMAS! Never mind all of Miss Audrey's outfits, THIS is the best fashion moment in the show. Stunning.

#snowpiercer s1e6 #snowpiercer 1.06 #snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer #snowpiercer netflix #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer season 1

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 1, episode 5: Two Dicks, One Box

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e5: Justice Never Boarded. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

The episode begins with Princess Layton locked away in a tower drawer, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue him. He’s having hallucinations-slash-flashbacks, set to Nikki’s cover of Sealed With a Kiss. Eventually, Miss Audrey begins this episode's opening monologue, while dressed as… Spiderwoman? It’s an unconventional choice, but she makes it work. She gives Clay a mysterious, silent order, and they head out to ambush a waiter. Clay steals the waiter’s jacket and trolley, and wheels a shiny dish up towards the First class dining room. 

After the opening credits and another cool shot of outside, we see Roche unpacking his breakfast while he guards the cell’s latest occupant: LJ. She keeps asking about his life, and he subtly suggests that she should shut the fuck up. Did Lilah Sr. seriously never tell her daughter not to talk to police without a parent or lawyer present?

Mommy and Daddy rush in and fuss over LJ for a moment before Melanie informs LJ that, today, she stands trial for murder. Roche mentions three victims and… which three is he talking about? LJ was only really involved in two of the murders, right? And Erik killed an additional three (the guard, clinic staff member, and Nikki). Can someone please explain to me why it’s three victims, rather than either two or five? 

In the tail, Josie is lying about Suzanne’s arm infection. Suzanne immediately calls the doctor out on her bullshit, and Josie offers a lame excuse: she was a vet. After almost seven years as the tail’s doctor, she’s still not adjusted to the idea of patients talking back to her. Did she never treat a parrot before the freeze? 

Winnie then brings another message from Astrid: Josie needs to go uptrain today. Lights calls Josie a badass, and gives her a bracelet that holds the chip.

In other chipping news, Till and Jinju are getting kind-of-married! In the best indication yet of how much time has passed, Till’s bruise has disappeared. So, it’s definitely been at least a few days since Melanie roofied Layton. Dr. Pelton is putting a new chip into one of Till’s hands, while Jinju is squeezing the other. Cute. The notary tells Jinju that she’s responsible for Till’s behaviour during her probationary period, and they both smile and laugh and sign the paperwork. Then, Dr. Pelton ends the scene by pretty much telling them to fuck?

Till and Jinju love an enthusiastic ally, but that was a bit much.

In grand lesbian tradition, they only waited three months before moving in together! This is going to go so well! Then, because it’s always best to consider important life decisions after signing the legally binding paperwork, Jinju proceeds to ask Till if she’s sure about this. Till admits that she is not sure. SERIOUSLY!? I fucking can’t with these two!

In the Folgers’ car, LJ is using her last moments of freedom to play on her Switch. Relatable. Her parents are trying to relax into the knowledge that they’ll know the whole jury - they can bribe and threaten them all! LJ seems genuinely worried about getting drawered for a moment, but before we have time to feel sorry for her, she, I shit you not, asks to TAKE OUT HER DAD’S EYE AND SUCK ON IT.

[there was gonna be a screenshot here, but no one needs a visual reminder of that scene]

In hindsight, this is probably the point at which we should have stopped watching. Maybe then I’d still be able to eat mango.

Next, we catch the end of breakfast in the First class dining room. Tristan is gazing out of the window. He always dreamed of seeing the Amazon. Ruth reminds him:

Brutal! 

Clay wheels in a trolley behind them, bringing Eugenia and the Sharmas a special treat, compliments of the Nightcar. It’s a nutritious plateful of bugs! The prank is pretty mild as far as I’m concerned, but it’s too much for poor Ruth. She sends Tristan to fetch Melanie.

Then... THIS FUCKING SCENE! Melanie stalks into the Nightcar while Audrey calmly sips tea in her underwear and dressing gown. Casual. Melanie thinks that stunt was beneath Audrey, and Audrey assures her it really wasn’t. 

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of a thousand lesbians typing Mel/Audrey fanfiction. 

Audrey calls Melanie out on how rigged the trial is: First and second are going to be judging one of their own for killing three Thirdies. Again with the three! LJ only murdered two people, right? How is she also getting the blame for Nikki? And, in that case, why are they ignoring the unnamed guard and clinic worker who got killed at the same time? If anyone has an explanation, please tell me!

Next, Melanie and Audrey give us a quick politics lesson. We learn that the Nightcar is supposed to be neutral. Audrey cracks out a huge law book and uses it to smack Melanie around the head. Just kidding! She points out the section that says Third has the right to petition Wilford to get a place on the jury. Melanie is not impressed, and Audrey reminds Melanie that she used to try to make a difference, too. Oh, Audrey - just wait til episode seven!

The next class is Nightcar History. We learn that Wilford (the real one, presumably) had intended for the Nightcar to be a brothel. However, Audrey had other ideas. Melanie “persuaded Wilford” that Audrey was right, and the Nightcar became what it is today. So, presumably that means that the Nightcar spent some amount of time as a brothel at first? Which contradicts what Zarah told Layton in episode two. Unless Audrey and Melanie were close enough pre-freeze that Audrey went to Melanie to get help changing real Wilford’s mind, long before departure. Interesting!

Anyway, this show doesn’t need logic! Melanie and Audrey’s argument gets heated (presumably to provide fanfic writers with a bit more inspiration), and ends with Audrey essentially threatening strikes and sabotage. I love season one Audrey so much. 

Melanie’s next meeting is with Creepy Klimpt and Jinju, where they’re checking out the results of Nikki’s tests. The data are inconclusive: they have no idea whether or not Nikki would have fully recovered. As Melanie and Jinju walk away, Jinju doesn’t even pretend that Mr. Wilford is making the decisions about the trial. She directly asks Melanie whether she’s considering allowing a Third class passenger onto the tribunal. So, I guess we can add Jinju to the list of people who Definitely Know.

Melanie continues to debate adding a Thirdie to the jury with Bennett and Javi. They don’t think it’s a good idea. Melanie, however, is more focussed on trying to smash that HR violations record - by smashing one of her employees! She “borrows” Bennett, throws him against her bedroom wall, and then they fuck on the desk next to the eugenics library. It’s Bennett’s turn to provide the episode’s obligatory naked ass shot, bringing us to a total of five naked asses in five episodes!

When they’ve finished, Bennett informs us that they haven’t done that since the bees died. Which is… three years? And I thought lockdown was long! He hogs the bed, so Melanie kneels on the floor. Melanie misses fresh air after sex, Bennett misses the sound of rain, and I miss scenes that I care about. 

Next up, Melanie decides to go ahead and draw a new tribunal. Third rights! Fuck the Folgers! In the non-torturey hospitality room, they draw passenger numbers at random. Who chose this font? Tristan? Probably Tristan.

Bingo!

The Folgers and Ruth are all fuming at the decision, but Clay and Audrey are delighted.  

Downtrain in Sanitation, Josie and Astrid swap outfits so that Astrid can cover Josie’s shift while she tries to rescue Princess Layton from his tower drawer. The first step in Josie’s noble quest is to find Terrence-Never-Terry in the market. 

In the hospitality announcements room, Ruth is having a grump. Mr. Wilford can’t just change the rules! He wouldn’t care about the will of the people! They don’t have will (yikes!); they have order! Our girl really goes on a journey in season two, huh?

Downtrain, Osweiller is back to his old tricks: he’s being a dick. He calls his sister bourgeoisie, because she moved in with her Second class girlfriend. Till replies by asking if her little brother is planning to extort addicts for sex again today. Their dad boss is not gonna be happy that they’re fighting again. Finally, in another vague win for anyone still trying to keep track of the timeline, we learn that Osweiller’s probation is over. 

Brakeman Blowie then gives a speech implying that Thirdies are unhygienic, lack self respect and liable to punch people at random. Brakeman Bourgeoisie just stands by and allows him to insult himself. To be fair, I’d do the same for my sibling.

While the Folgers continue to prepare for LJ’s testimony, Princess Layton is having more hallucinations-slash-flashbacks. He’s taken back to early days of the tail, in a time when Miles is still played by the younger actor. The cannibal cult has struck again, and Layton needs to put a stop to it. But this is only the second drawer dream scene, so we’ll have to wait for the next one to get more information!

Josie walks around the market like an introvert at a nightclub, until she eventually finds a yellow butterfly to follow. JAnnietor welcomes Josie to third with the traditional knife to the throat, then takes her to visit Terrence-Never-Terry. Josie explains that Princess Layton didn’t make it back to the tail: she thinks he’s in a drawer. Terrence-Never-Terry suggests that Layton could be dead, but Josie points out that he’s a lead character - he wouldn’t die in episode five! The mopping mafia don’t require any more convincing, and decide to break into the drawers car while the trial is on. That was easy!

Uptrain, a small group of First class passengers are complaining to commander Grey that Wilford has lost touch: he shouldn’t be changing the rules right before LJ’s trial! Grey points out that he doesn’t make the fucking rules, he just enforces them. But when Grey senses an opportunity to get rid of Melanie, he’s suddenly a lot more interested in hearing what the Firsties have to say.

Surprise! First class Martin is another Wilford spy! He’s telling Melanie all about the planned sedition - minus a few details about Grey’s response. He’s not a big enough character to be playing both sides like this! Is he still jealous of her Cantonese skills?

Meanwhile, LJ is getting in some last minute prep for the trial. She’s not sure what contrite tears are, and in one of my favourite teen rage moments in the whole show she tells her parents that they can “Criticise [her] after.” Beautiful!

At the trial, Melanie is sitting at the side and shaking with anxiety that she’s not in charge. Ruth is leading the trial, with Tristan’s help. In a tribute to his favourite song by The Lonely Island, Tristan shows the jury the most damning and gross piece of evidence in the whole case.

Yep, LJ didn’t just torture the victims and cut off their penises: she also preserved them and kept in her jewellery box. She’s really not going to be able to cry her way out of this one. 

Next up, Pelton discusses the autopsy results and makes a chopping motion with her hand as she describes what happened to Sean Beef’s genitals. She’s weird and awkward and I love her. Tunnelman Jakes then describes the body as “limbless and dickless”, to prove that none of the witnesses are going to remain professional. Then, Jinju recounts her time as Erik’s hostage before rapidly abandoning the facts and yelling this to the court:

Jinju, sweetie, Dr. Pelton knows a lot about PTSD and there’s a whole Nightcar for hypnosis therapy. Go to one of them, please!

Audrey’s up next. Ruth introduces her to the court as Miss Audrey of the Nightcar. Still no last name! I’m calling it now: she’s an ancient vampire. The trip to the hall of mirrors was a decoy, to throw Layton off. 

In yet another power move, Audrey refuses to swear on the Wilford Bible. I love her. Then, she begins her speech. She starts off with some information about Nikki, then details how shitty life is in Third, and explains why the people uptrain need to care about that. She ends by saying that order isn’t as important as it used to be - they all need to save their souls, and justice for Nikki will be the first step towards that. Basically, she absolutely fucking smashes it. 

Downtrain, JAnnietor steals Creepy Klimpt’s keys and breaks into the drawers car with Terrence-Never-Terry and Josie. While Josie tries to find Creepy Klimpt’s address book for cursed princesses and steals some epi pens, JAnnietor and Terrence-Never-Terry steal some Kronole chemicals. Then, the mopping mafia want to get the fuck out of there before they get caught. Sweary Josie returns! She’s going to have to find Princess Layton all by herself. Shit. 

Meanwhile, Melanie has decided to use the trial recess to do a bit more flirting. She runs into Lilah Folger, and they eyefuck for a while before getting into the story of how seven-year-old LJ stabbed her dad in the eye with a fork. It is a thoroughly disgusting story, but it’s gonna take more than a bit of eye jelly to stop Melanie Cavill’s daily flirting ritual! Lilah ends her speech by warning Melanie not to fuck with her bloodline, and it’s fucking brilliant.

Back in the drawer room, Josie can’t find any records on Princess Layton. So, she does the next best thing and begins a systematic search. Just kidding! What she actually does is stroke the drawers and whisper “Where are you, Layton?” When I said she’s one of the only characters with any common sense… Well. I didn’t claim it was a lot. 

At the trial, it’s LJ’s turn to speak. We find out that she’s receiving about as much support for surviving child abuse as Jinju is for her PTSD. She reveals that Erik’s torture of Sean Beef worked: right before he died, Sean revealed that he was a spy, who knew “four hundred secrets that would rock us to the rails.” Next, LJ apologises to Mr. Wilford for keeping quiet, and promises to do her part for the train if the court shows her mercy. Honestly, it’s as good as Audrey’s performance. She should try out for the Nightcar!

While LJ speaks, Josie finally begins to actually search the drawers. She discovers one of the apprenticed kids from episode two, then another child, and leaves them both there. She’s just there for Princess Layton! Fuck those kids! Then, she finally finds him. Conveniently, he’s tucked away on the bottom row - another stroke of luck! If Melanie had put him on the top shelf, Josie never would have been able to reach up and rescue him!

Uptrain, Jinju and Melanie discuss LJ’s speech. They’re worried that Sean Beef’s four hundred secrets are about the drawers, and how Melanie using them even though they don’t fucking work properly and turn peoples’ gums to sludge. Then, they worry that LJ knows about The List. I’m not sure what that is, but I am Very Intrigued! Either way, if LJ knows Melanie’s secrets, that ‘changes the calculus’. Fuckin’ nerds! Melanie sends a note to the engine via the pneumatic tubes, and whatever it says makes Javi so annoyed that he lashes out and calls Ben a slut.

Josie, meanwhile, is still trying to figure out exactly how the fuck she’s going to rescue Princess Layton from the tower drawer. Despite having no idea what’s in the tubes he’s hooked up to, Josie begins to yank them all out. And his little brain monitor thingies have to go, too. I’m starting to wonder whether she was really a vet pre-freeze? This seems potentially very dangerous!

Just outside, Osweiller is still teasing Till about her new girlfriend. She smacks him, then invites him for dinner: they get dessert every night in Second! A fun little detail. Osweiller walks right past the suspicious thing blocking the drawer room door, but Till notices it. The Brakemen break in, and Osweiller immediately walks right past another dodgy door! How the fuck does he still have this job?

Till notices it, though, and they open up the drawer together. Surprise! It’s Josie, having a nice little cuddle with Princess Layton! Osweiller panics, drags Josie out of the drawer and starts beating her up. Till stops him by bludgeoning him with her baton, causing yet another head injury that should be fatal. He’s lucky it’s only episode five. 

With Osweiller unconscious (which is how most of us prefer him, I think?),Till and Josie return their attention to Princess Layton. Sweet, innocent Till is very confused that Layton isn’t in the tail. She lets Josie revive the Princess, then helps her rescue him from the tower drawer. 

The trial has resumed, and the jury is ready to deliver their verdict. Lilah Folger Junior is found guilty on all counts. Third celebrate, and First are horrified. Melanie looks like she’s trying not to be sick. Bennett and Javi send Melanie the message that she asked for “in the worst case,” giving the pneumatic tubes even more screen time! They’re the true heroes of the show. Ruth reads out the sentencing: Mr. Wilford is commuting LJ’s sentence, because she’s very young and also because she might share Melanie’s secrets. 

Till and Josie have carried Princess Layton all the way to the chains before Till realises that maybe it’s a bad idea to be aiding a fugitive, in public, in uniform, while her little brother is unconscious in the drawers car? She runs away, leaving Josie to drag Layton the rest of the way to Zarah’s place alone. 

Zarah is thrilled to see her old friend Josie! She welcomes her with a hug and offers her a coffee while they have a good good catch up and wait for Layton to wake up. Just kidding! They very clearly hate each other. Josie lets herself in, throws Layton on the bed, and gets Zarah up to speed: Princess Layton was locked away in the highest room lowest drawer of the tallest tower most accessible drawer room, and now they need to figure out which one of them is gonna have to kiss him to break the curse. When Zarah asks Josie how she got out of the tail, Josie’s common sense finally seems to return: she’s not telling that traitor anything. 

Up in the non-torturey hospitality room, Melanie is making sure that LJ won’t tell anyone Sean Beef’s secrets. LJ confirms that she knows something about the drawers, but she won’t tell Melanie exactly what it is - she’s going to keep it between herself and Mr. Wilford. Melanie is clearly already regretting the decision not to sentence LJ to lung of ice. 

Downtrain, Till can’t find her little brother. She’s going to be in so much trouble with her dad boss for losing him!

Layton’s withdraweral looks rough as hell. Zarah tries to help him while he wriggles around in distress, and we finally get to see the last part of his tail cannibalism flashback! He’s covered in blood, and carrying a bloody human heart through a corridor. He begins to slice it up with a large knife, and more blood-spattered tailies join him. Layton, Lights, Santiago, Mama Grande, Strong Boy, Josie, ZWreck, Murray and one more person (who is maybe Suzanne?) each take a piece of FRESH, RAW CANNIBAL HEART and agree “never again”, before eating it.

Same, Layton. Same.

#snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer s1e5 #snowpiercer 1.05 #snowpiercer #snowpiercer netflix #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer season 1

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Series 1, episode 9: Fight For Your Fricking Lunch Meat

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e9: The Train Demanded Blood. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

Melanie gives the monologue this episode. She laments that she wasn’t able to get rid of the myth of Wilford, while she awaits her execution. She shares the execution car with a bunch of blood-spattered revolutionaries, including Clay From The Nightcar, Santiago, Walter The Papermaker/electrician and… not Lights? Walter and Lights were arrested together! How did Lights escape!? I want details on that, please!

Melanie offers a tiny handkerchief to Santiago for his gaping head wound, which is a nice gesture but it’s really not gonna help much. He tells her he’s sad that he never got to visit the aquarium car.

Then, two Jackboots come into the car. They take Walter away to be executed, while Melanie’s monologue continues: The train demanded blood. The notary reads Walter’s verdict (guilty of treason) and sentence (death by lung of ice). His face freezes behind the execution mask, in a visual representation of how it feels to drink cold water after brushing your teeth.

After the opening credits, Commander Grey (who has finally washed his face but still hasn’t put his helmet on) is ordering Jackboots to organise crates of gas canisters. They’re getting ready to make a move on the rebels.

The rebels, meanwhile, have not washed their faces! Well - Layton did half a job, but Audrey and Till are still as bad as last episode. They’re getting ready to make their own move, before the entire Jackboot army has time to gather. Or, maybe they’ll reinforce their barricades? They’re still deciding. Dr. Pelton pops out of the clinic to confirm that thirty seven rebels have died, so far. And they don’t know how many more dead might be uptrain. Assuming that “uptrain” includes everyone in the Nightcar, they can expect that number to climb a whole lot more.

Then, Winnie weaves her way towards Layton. She can’t find her brother. Layton gently tells Winnie that Patterson is “gone”, and “with [her] mother”. Dr. Pelton swoops in to rescue her before Layton can confuse the poor child any further.

Layton then immediately faces another awkward interaction! Zarah (apparently the only rebel who has washed the blood off her face and neck) wants to talk. But Layton doesn’t. He runs away. Audrey catches Zarah’s eye, and they have an entire conversation via three seconds of eye contact.

Up in First, Lilah Folger is demanding to know why Grey isn’t advancing. He insists that he is! Their plan is for Javi to override the doors, one by one, so that they can seal the rebels into cars and gas them. Grey isn’t bothered about the risk of accidentally gassing civilians, or even the risk of gassing everyone on the whole train if the gas enters the ventilation system! Javi, Mr. Sharma and Martin aren’t on board (train pun!) with the plan.

Javi doesn’t waste time trying to explain any moral concerns to Grey or Lilah, and instead reminds them that the train needs a workforce. If too many workers die, the train won’t be able to run. Lilah brushes off his concerns and says, “We’ll train more.” Lilah, who’s “we”? Does Lilah Folger seriously think she’s going to be able to teach janitors and breach workers? Javi is slowly realising that these people are even more frustrating to deal with than Melanie and Bennett.

And that’s not all! Vengeful Ruth is still out in force. She interrupts the conversation to discuss Melanie’s execution. She thinks it should be a public dethroning. LJ mocks Ruth’s accent, and then suggests that Melanie needs to walk the plank because she’s a pirate. And y’know what? That’s a fair point, LJ! Can’t argue with that logic!

In the engine, Bennett and Miles have been locked down together for a few hours. It's going great!

Maybe this is why Alex doesn't have a dad/stepdad?

Down in the Chains, Mama Grande is asking around after her Grandson, Santiago. Layton barely has time to tell her that Santiago is probably maybe potentially still alive (?) before Pike shows up. To be honest, I’m more interested in Till and Audrey in the background of this scene than whatever Pike has to say. I guess that’s why Layton and Pike head off to an empty beige container? So that we have to listen to him?

Pike loves the mouthfeel of the cake in First. Layton is, understandably, reluctant to take restaurant advice from an ex-member of a cannibal cult. So instead, they finally decide discuss the war. Pike tells Layton all about the gas plan. The only way that Layton can prevent civilian casualties is to surrender.

Layton consults Till and Audrey. They’re not convinced that Grey will keep his word, and they don’t want to lose what they fought for. They all agree not to surrender. That was quick! After Till heads out, Audrey stops Layton and insists that he needs to speak to Zarah.

In the engine, Javi is explaining to Grey that they can’t open the engine door from outside when it’s in lockdown. Bennett won’t open it from inside, because he’s loyal to Melanie. Javi still doesn’t like the gassing plan - maybe Layton will surrender? Grey then threatens to “slaughter every last one of them,” and Javi finally realises that it was a big fucking mistake to assume these people had enough common sense not to destroy the entire train within a day. He tells Grey that he’s heading downtrain to the engine door override button, which seems like an obvious lie to me? But Grey falls for it. He’s really easy to deceive.

Next, we catch up with Strong Boy and ZWreck. Dr. Klimpt thinks that Strong Boy understands what’s being said, and tests his theory by… nope, he doesn’t bother actually testing it at all! Wilford seriously couldn’t find a better doctor in the whole damn world? ZWreck throws up and almost falls over, so Murray helps him by… nope, he just asks him whether he’s ready to fight! This scene is so frustrating! They borrow Klimpt’s trousers, and head out to find the battle.

In the bunk room, Ruth is going through Melanie’s stuff again. She’s found the Wilford soundboard! I hope she doesn’t take a listen: she’d combust if she heard any of the speeches Bennett composed. We also learn that Melanie has all of Mr. Wilford’s journals, which sound like even scarier reading than her eugenics library.

Ruth is so angry that she wants to execute Melanie herself. It’s exactly that kind of energy that Grey wants in his regime. Ruth asks about the Folgers, to which Grey replies that the Folgers have useful influence in First, “But once order is restored, natural power exerts itself.” I feel like he’s vastly underestimating Lilah Folger, and vastly overestimating himself. But Ruth doesn’t! She grabs him by the vest and kisses him.

Thankfully, we quickly cut away to a much less traumatic scene: Melanie is being taken to her execution! Santiago promises to pray for her, to make the end of the episode even more heart-wrenching. Melanie is strapped to the execution chair, the Notary reads out her verdict (guilty of treason) and sentence (death by lung of ice), and the scary mask is strapped to her face. The Notary and prisoner transporter Jackboots leave the room, and Melanie cries. But the Jackboot pulling the switch isn’t a Jackboot! It’s Javi! He quickly unties her while the Notary buys them time in the other carriage by complaining about incorrect paperwork.

Melanie and Javi walk between the bodies of executed rebels, then Melanie climbs down into the tunnels (impressively fast considering the heels she’s wearing!) into Jinju’s arms.

Do we think that's the first time Melanie has asked Jinju that question?

ANYWAY! Melanie wants to know how Jinju pulled off the recuse, and so do I! Her answer (“coercion and gifts”) gives nowhere near enough detail, but they don’t have time for more. Jinju wants to take the Folgers head-on. That’s another fight I’d like to see! But Melanie doesn’t want to do that. She tells Jinju to stay safe uptrain, and Jinju must be fucking sick of people telling her to do that.

Melanie runs off downtrain (still wearing the heels!), but after a couple of close encounters with Jackboots, she decides that crawling through the vents will be safer.

In the Chains, Zarah continues to be the only character that wants to wash the blood off herself. As is customary, Layton lets himself in without knocking. Zarah asks if the fighting is over, and wants to know what will happen next. But Layton isn’t gonna tell that little traitor their strategy! They’re resisting the urge to yell at each other so hard, and it’s very funny. Audrey probably should have offered to mediate. Zarah doesn’t expect forgiveness for snitching on Josie - she’s not even going to forgive herself. Where’s that energy in s2e2? Layton assures her that he wasn’t planning to forgive her. But she had to do it… to protect their child! Layton didn’t see that one coming! Zarah puts his hand on her belly, and he holds her for a moment before running away again.

Layton can’t risk it any more - now that he’s got a kid on the way, he’s gonna have to surrender to protect it. He tells Till it’s over, and she’s very upset that she might have to finally wash her face! She believed in him! What changed!? Instead of offering her any explanation, he runs away again. He tells Pike that he surrenders.

Melanie removes her jacket and shoes so that she can wriggle through the vents more easily, while Pike informs Grey, Ruth and the Folgers of Layton’s surrender. Lilah suspects it’s a trick, but the others aren’t worried: they can still gas everyone, if they need to. I guess they haven’t figured out that Javi already defected? Then Robert feeds the timeline detectives another useful fact: the war is over in under sixteen hours.

LJ tells her parents that they should be there for the surrender, to cement their position of power on the train. I can’t figure out whether this is supposed to be genuine? LJ is just so suspicious all the time! Does she perhaps also suspect that it’s a trick? Is she hoping to get her parents killed? Who knows!

Up in the engine, Miles is quizzing Bennett on why the engineers kept living conditions in the tail so poor. They’re fair questions, but it’s maybe not the best timing? Bennett ignores all the class politics in favour of his favourite topic: hex nuts! But he’s saved from more of Miles’ guilt tripping by a very important radio message: Big Alice is sending over a hint for the next episode!

Elsewhere, Murray is doing an awful job of posing as a Jackboot while Melanie emerges from the vents, straight into rebel hands. She’s taken to Layton, who wants to kill her - until she tells him that she can get him the train.

Melanie, Audrey, Till and Layton convene in the war room container, for another one of the best scenes in this whole damn show. First, I’d like us all to take a moment to appreciate Till and Audrey’s outfits and expressions:

Okay. Now for the plot. Melanie is going to help the rebels, because she knows that Grey and the Folgers will destroy the train. Her plan is simple: nearly all the Jackboots are gathered up in a couple of cars, so all Melanie and Layton need to do is disconnect those cars, then join back up again.

Layton isn’t convinced that Melanie will just give up control, which is very fair given what we’ve seen of her character so far! Melanie insists that it was never about power, to which Audrey quips “Is that what you keep telling yourself?” Melanie snaps back at her, “I saved humanity, Audrey!” Their relationship is so entertaining to watch! Understandably, Layton isn’t yet ready to forgive Melanie for seven years of hunger, slavery and de-armings in the tail, nor that time a couple of days ago that Melanie tortured his girlfriend to death. Melanie decides to make the most of their last few minutes in the karaoke booth.

Ultimately, Audrey decides that Melanie is telling the truth. Till doesn’t think they have any better options. So, Layton agrees: they’ll try Melanie’s plan, instead of surrendering.

In the next scene, Melanie has changed out of her filthy hospitality uniform into a denim jacket and cargo pants and… where did she get these clothes? They can’t be Melanie’s or Till’s or Audrey’s, because all their stuff is behind enemy lines. Which random rebel had to dress Melanie Cavill in their nicest jacket? Melanie and Layton make a call up to Bennett in the engine, and tell him the plan to lose the seven cars at the Fremont junction, 100km away.

Melanie will take care of the safety switch downtrain. Layton needs to get behind enemy lines to do the job on the other side. Getting up there won’t be easy, so Layton sends Till to apologise to her dad boss, and ask him to take Layton to the other switch. Roche is, of course, eating his lunch in the lockup room - under another clock! It’s 1:30. As soon as Till enters the lockup room, her dad boss starts to tell her off. While he rants, she hugs herself again. PLEASE can someone give this woman a hug?

Till promises peace when they win, but Roche doesn’t want to hear it. She tells him that Melanie has joined their side now, and tries to get him to fight for what’s right. She plays the same trump card that helped her to win the day before, with one tiny addition:

That seals the deal: no one gets between Roche and his lunch. He’ll help them.

Uptrain, Ruth is Ruthing about in the announcements room. She tells the ladies and gentlemen of First and Second (sidenote: do all NB passengers get deported to the Chains?) that their Head of Hospitality is speaking. She doesn’t actually mention her name, and I can’t tell whether that’s a power move or an oversight. She gives the time (1:32pm), and then announces the upcoming surrender.

While Ruth talks, Miss Gillies and Martin have the most obvious, awkward, nervous rebel meeting I’ve ever seen. But none of the other passengers seem to notice! To finish, he passes her a gun. What!? Wow! Okay! We also find out that Martin’s kids are called Gavin and Murray. This show loves to double up on names!

Down in the Chains, Melanie cuts her chip out and gives it to Layton. It’s cool I guess, but nowhere near as badass as when Josie smashed her own hand off. With that chip, Layton can open every door on the train - including the safety switch box. Layton reminds Melanie that he’s still not going to forgive her, which is absolutely fair! Roche comes along to laugh at them and check just how terrifying their plan is. If anything goes wrong and they can’t reconnect, then the back half of the train will freeze, and the front half will starve. Let’s hope Layton doesn’t go rogue and do anything stupid!

Layton, Melanie and Roche head up to the first J-link, just a few cars up from the rebel front. They synchronise their watches, and then Roche escorts Layton to the false surrender in the Third class classroom. For a laugh, Lilah Folger makes Layton hold up a Wilford Industries-branded white tablecloth as a surrender flag. The train photographer - because that’s a thing? - captures the moment. Roche is anxious, and gets everyone to hurry up. Again, Grey is nowhere near suspicious enough about this behavior! The commander happily takes Layton and Roche uptrain.

The Folgers are staying in the classroom, though: they want Third to see the new power structure in the flesh. Layton and Roche can barely believe their luck! Before they go, Lilah - in her own, special way - thanks Layton for telling them all about Melanie impersonating Wilford.

Grey leads Layton through the Jackboot army, and tells them to beat him up a bit. Then, Grey, Layton, Roche, and a few Jackboots head down to the subtrain. Roche subtly bars the hatch behind them, then takes a gun from the back of the subtrain car (presumably the one Miss Gillies picked up from Martin a few minutes ago), aims it at Grey, and demands for Layton to be uncuffed. As the Jackboots begin to uncuff Layton, Roche looks away from Grey and Grey attacks him. A fight breaks out, with just three minutes to go before they need to hit the safety switch!

Melanie disconnects, which triggers a series of scenes showing how characters react. Bennett and Miles are busy in the engine, Till and Audrey wait excitedly, and Lilah Folger quickly realises what’s happening: Third isn’t being uncoupled. They are.

Meanwhile, Layton and Roche unsurprisingly can’t handle four Jackboots between them. Roche is on the floor and the Jackboots restrain Layton while Grey sentences him to immediate execution. But Strong Boy arrives from uptrain, just in time! He launches himself off the front of the subtrain car into Commander Grey. It’s beautiful.

Lilah desperately tries to make her way uptrain back to her daughter, but the doors won’t open. In the tunnels below, Layton orders Strong Boy, ZWreck and Murray to grab Roche and head uptrain, while he runs off to the J-link. He arrives with two minutes to spare, and is about to pull the switch when he notices the prisoners of war in the next car.

In what might be his stupidest move yet, Layton decides to open the doors and take on the guard alone. If he gets delayed (or killed) right now, the whole plan will fail! It’s such a risk! Luckily he easily takes out the guard, then rushes in to free the prisoners. But he can’t find the keys. And there’s not enough time. Layton apologises to the prisoners, tells Santiago that he loves him, and leaves. The prisoners call after Layton so desperately that they forget their own names and gender identities (in the subtitles, one of Clay’s lines is attributed to “Santiago”, and another to just “Man”). Layton closes the doors behind him, pulls the switch, and sits down on the floor to cry.

Miles and Bennett successfully set the seven cars off onto the other track, then flick back in time for the rest of the train to reconnect. Lilah wails and worries for LJ. Layton continues to cry on the floor. When they reconnect, Melanie and Layton face off: he realises that she knew he’d have to send his friends to their deaths. She forced him to make a version of the choice that she had to make seven years ago, when she took over Snowpiercer. How poetic! Then, she tells him:

She’s evil, but she’s brilliant.

#snowpiercer s1e9 #snowpiercer 1.09 #snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer netflix #snowpiercer season 1 #snowpiercer

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 1, episode 1: What About his Dick?

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e1: First, the weather changed. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

The show opens with André Layton reading us a nice bedtime story. In a shocking turn of events absolutely nothing like the real world, the 1% have caused a climate disaster. Layton explains that the great visionary Mr. Wilford foresaw that the attempt to reverse climate change would cause the world to freeze, in what sounds like a thinly-veiled accusation that Wilford actually caused the freeze. 

Next, some of the main characters get introduced. They start as they mean to go on: Layton takes charge before he’s even come up with a plan, Zarah inexplicably avoids any fighting, Miles just hides away for most of the second half, and Commander Grey refuses to wear a helmet. 

After the opening credits, we’re introduced to Melanie. As she walks through a calm, quiet, corridor, I’m relieved to discover that there is at least one set in this production that’s lit brightly enough that my laptop screen can actually display it! She makes the morning announcement in the overly-calm tone of voice of a person who is close to snapping. At the end of the announcement, she warns the passengers to be prepared to brace. Viewers should also take note of her warning.

For anyone attempting to keep track of the timeline (I have tried and failed), Melanie informs us that Snowpiercer is six years, nine months and twenty six days from departure. 

Layton uses the announcement to make sure that his watch is synchronised to Snowpiercer Standard Time, and if anyone knows what brand of watch battery he’s using, please let me know. Meanwhile, some Jackboots begin to unlock the gates and doors, allowing room service waiters Till and Osweiller through with the day’s breakfast orders.

Santiago shows us all why he wasn’t at the revolution planning meeting, and starts a fight with an armed soldier. Till responds with her best impression of a substitute teacher, telling the class to “Sit down and calm down!” 

Josie and Murray complain that there’s only one cart of gourmet barres de bestioles today. Osweiller’s a dick about it. When the room service team and their military escort leave, we get to see a bit of tailie life: Murray works as a lunch lady, Winnie works as a personal trainer, and Miles works as a competitive rat breeder.

Layton demonstrates some questionable parenting skills for a while, then attends a revolution meeting where the main item on the agenda is exposition! We find out the following:

Lights knows a lot about the electrics on the train (I’m calling it now: she used to be a Wilford Industries Engineer)

Old Ivan can tune pianos, but there’s no piano wire on the train

There hasn’t been a child born in the tail for five years, an tailie women are being sterilised

Murray is the last Australian

There was a rebellion in year three, and thirteen arms were taken as punishment

Layton then tries to convince the others that six and a half years isn’t long enough, and they should all stay in the tail for a just little bit longer! But Pike and Josie call him out on his bullshit, and the revolutionaries agree to launch their attack as soon as the room service crew returns. 

Josie apologises to Layton, and then for some reason they repeat the exact same debate that they literally just had at the revolution meeting. When that’s over, he tells her that he doesn’t want her on the front line tomorrow. Josie has apparently had enough arguing for one day, so instead of telling him to go fuck himself she dodges the subject and gives him a little kiss on the head.

The tailies sing and pray and sharpen their weapons, while Old Ivan gives Layton a knife and a pep talk about how the train is a ‘fortress to class’. Layton is considerably more impressed by the line than I am.

Uptrain, Melanie wishes good morning to a First class iguana.

It doesn’t take long for us to understand why she does this: it’s the most enjoyable conversation she’ll have all day. She makes smalltalk with the human passengers, in both English and Cantonese. Then, because the iguana wasn’t enough evidence that life in First is fucking batshit, Lilah and Robert Folger complain to Melanie that they are being body-shamed in the sauna by scandinavian royalty. 

To recover from that, Melanie talks to their teenage daughter, LJ. LJ’s hobbies include petulance, obvious foreshadowing and eating third class noodles. Mr. Lam warns LJ of violence in third, and Ruth dismisses it as, “Nothing but track talk.”

“Ruth!” Melanie snaps, “Stop trying to make track talk happen! It’s not going to happen!” 

Melanie sends Ruth to investigate. Despite the fact that the rumours are about Third, Ruth has to go to the Tail (??). Ruth complains that she was hoping to avoid the Tail, so Melanie placates her by flirting. “You know you love an excuse to wear your fur.” 

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of a thousand lesbians typing Mel/Ruth fanfiction.

Next up, the tailies are preparing for the revolution. Pike is on lookout, and reports that hospitality are overseeing today’s room service! Perhaps their complaints about portion sizes are finally going to be taken seriously? They put the revolution on pause, to see what Ruth has to say. A hush descends as she takes to the stage - which is technically just an IKEA stool, but hey, it’s the apocalypse!

Ruth suffers from a little stage fright, but like all good divas she quickly recovers by blaming her assistant. Then, she announces that they have a removal request for Mr. André Layton. 

The ‘removal request’ turns out to be more of a ‘kidnapping order’. Layton is dragged away by Jackboots as soon as he’s identified. We get a montage of him undergoing a creepy medical checkup and very public shower, before being led uptrain by Till, Osweiller and some Jackboots. Layton asks them what’s going on, and Osweiller’s a dick about it. 

Till guides Layton’s head into the subtrain like it’s the back of a police car, which is probably sensible but makes me laugh every time. When they’re done on their little meta train journey, they head to the third class mess hall where Layton hisses at the sun.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of a thousand ex-twilight fans typing Vampire!Layton fanfiction. 

Lead Brakeman Roche gives Layton some soup and a grilled cheese, and I cannot wait to get a side-by-side of the way Layton looks at that sandwich vs the way he looks at his baby next season.

Roche also finally tells Layton why he was kidnapped: there’s been a murder on the train, and Mr. Wilford forgot to pack a homicide detective! 

Back in the Tail, Miles tells Josie that he packed Layton’s worldly possessions: a book, a chain, a spoon, a photo and a badge. Miles also says that people don’t come back to the Tail. The kid needs to listen more carefully to Old Ivan’s story about fixing a piano.

From there, we cut to a frozen, dismembered torso stashed under the floor. Osweiller’s a dick about it. Till uses her Cop Skills to give Layton the details about the murder victim, Sean Wise. Then, she asks the great universal question:

Layton cannot fucking deal with these incompetent baby cops. He walks off.

Osweiller tries to tell a joke, but unfortunately he’s no better at stand-up comedy than he is at law enforcement. Instead of asking for constructive criticism of his work or graciously accepting his small failure, he decides to deal with his disappointment by kicking the shit out of Layton. Till does a half-assed job of stopping him after a couple of blows, but then they both get caught by their dad boss. He tells them they’re grounded for a week and sends them to their room the Tail.

Next up: some more exposition! It turns there was another dickless murder victim two years ago. Uh-oh! Layton asks for some basic human rights for the Tailies, and sets Roche off on a xenophobic anti-Tail rant.

Iiiiiiiit’s creepy doctor time! Klimpt is brushing someone’s hair with his pants half down, and that’s all I want to ever say about that scene. After some uncomfortable chit chat, Melanie tells Layton that, if he can prove Nikki’s innocence, she’ll give him a job he doesn’t want and move him away from Josie and Miles! She might know a lot about engineering, but our girl has some things to learn about bribery. 

Roche then takes Layton to Snowpiercer’s queer, poly commune: The Chains. He calls the people living there a bunch of freaks, to remind us that he’s even more of a dick than his son employee. Layton meets the murder suspects, who are Sean Wise’s partners and... surprise! One of them is Layton’s ex-wife!

Layton finally does a bit of detective work, and pieces together that Zarah must have been the one who told the cops that there was a spare homicide detective hiding in the tail. He wants to question her first. She kisses her partners goodbye and, spoiler alert: that’s the last we ever see or hear of them again!

Layton and Zarah quickly cover why she outed him as a cop, and then they get into the real argument that’s been brewing: he’s pissed at her for taking the upgrade to third, and she’s pissed at him for making them survive the apocalypse just to live in the tail. They shout at each other for a while, and this might be Zarah’s best scene in the whole damn show? He takes a dig at her for moving on, to which she retaliates that he probably “bunked with Josie the moment [she] was gone.” He denies it, and then we cut to… Josie, holding Layton’s possessions, in what appears to be their shared bunk.

Pike’s got his tin foil hat on and visits Josie to accuse Layton of knowing all about the kidnapping. He makes a vague threat that doesn’t make any sense. Then, he asks her if she gets it, and she replies that she got it all. After watching this episode four times, I still don’t get anything! Seriously: what is going on in this scene?

In Ag Sec, despite the fact that Layton was in handcuffs and under military guard earlier that day, Roche is now happy to allow his charge to crash a school trip unrestrained. Layton accuses Melanie of using Zarah as leverage, but Melanie just came here to talk about her strawberry garden and give Layton a load of useful information about how the train works.

Downtrain, the Tailies are singing, because it’s Old Ivan’s birthday! In true grandad style, all he wants for his birthday is some peace and fucking quiet. The Tailies leave him alone for a few minutes, and Ivan plays some Rachmaninoff from a smartphone that’s juuuust about still working. Miles mimes along to the piece on a mockup of a piano keyboard, some people dance together, everyone seems happy. Then, the music stops. Because Ivan used the phone charger to hang himself. 

And how does a TV show bounce back from a graphic suicide scene? Nudity! Jinju goes for a swim in the aquarium car wearing nothing but a knife strapped to her thigh. Guess she didn’t want to borrow one of Lilah Folger’s sauna bathing suits? There are a lot of shots of naked asses in this show. I might count them.

Jinju has made some sushi for her boss, and Melanie sees fit to immediately enquire about Jinju’s love life. Who is the head of HR on this train, and why aren’t they keeping better tabs on Melanie Cavill?

Mama Grande tells the Jackboots about Old Ivan, and while Melanie makes an evening announcement, the revolutionaries get kitted up. Till and Osweiller (who are still grounded working their double shift) come in to collect the body. The tailies walk around the body to say goodbye, and Osweiller’s a dick about it. Josie, proving that she’s one of the few characters with any common sense, hides her face with a bandana. Till and Osweiller go to move the body, and surprise! Z-Wreck switched with Ivan! He swiftly punches both Brakemen in the face, and the revolution begins. 

There’s some cool fighting, but it’s all far too dark and fast for decent screenshots. One of the Jackboots picks Osweiller up by his collar and tosses him from the tail like he’s being thrown out of a pub. Till, meanwhile, is dragged back by the tailies. They’re right: of the two Brakemen, she’s definitely the most tolerable hostage.

The revolutionaries block the doors with ramps. I can’t really figure out why that’s necessary, until Strong Boy runs up the ramp and launches himself out of the Tail, landing with his fist in a Jackboot’s face. The ramps are for dramatic effect!

Apparently nobody sees any reason to prevent a five year old child from running through a battlefield, so Winnie watches Strong Boy slice a Jackboot’s hand off then races to pick it up. She makes it all the way to the next doors, chips them open, and squeaks in terror. She’s met by a solid wall of navy and black uniformed Jackboots, punctuated only by Grey’s ever-helmetless head.

Melanie is about to enjoy her leftover sushi when an alarm starts ringing. So she does what we’d all do in that situation: she leaves her dinner on a random windowsill and goes back downtrain.

Grey wants to use Layton as a hostage to get Till back, but Melanie arrives just in time to remind him that, actually, they need the detective uptrain to solve the murder. Instead, Layton is appointed as lead negotiator and sent in to talk with his friends, unsupervised. Great plan, guys!

For a reason that I still cannot fathom, Pike, Z-Wreck and Strong Boy apparently decided to bring their hostage out of the Tail. Till is, as she so often is, covered in blood. Layton and Pike have a standoff, until Layton finally comes up with a plan: he’s going to harm the hostage! He also sees an opportunity to get rid of Pike, and suggests that he, Strong Boy and Z-Wreck surrender themselves to the drawers. Ruth and Grey don’t think it’s enough, but after a bit of haggling, they land on a compromise: Grey won’t kill any more tailies if Layton solves the murder for Melanie, and Ruth takes a significant arm in the morning.

And now, Melanie can finally eat her sushi! She chips into her validatingly-messy bedroom, gets out of her work uniform, and puts on a hoodie. Then, she walks into the engine and grabs a drink. She tells someone - who at the time we do not know is just Bennett - that he’s in her chair. They have some flirty banter, and I am yet again left wondering about HR on Snowpiercer.

And then, after a mouthful of sushi, we get one of the best reveals I’ve ever seen on TV:

And that’s it! The end of series 1, episode 1!

#snowpiercer #snowpiercer s1e1 #snowpiercer 1.01 #snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer season 1 #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer netflix

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 1, episode 10: No Sleep 'Til Chicago

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s1e10: 994 cars long. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

There’s no voiceover monologue in this episode. Instead, Melanie addresses the train, mirroring the morning announcement in s1e1. Snowpiercer is approaching Chicago - Mile Zero. How poetic, to have a fresh start as they cross the start line! Melanie talks about how everyone (especially her) feels haunted by their past choices, and wishes that they’ll all make better choices in the future - as One Train, governed by the rebels. She ends with the updated train length, 994 cars long. Then, she hands the mic over to Layton. He introduces himself, and then the opening credits roll.

After the opening credits, one of the engineers has left their opera music running again! Which seems very wasteful, given that 37 battery cars are offline and they’re running low on power. Melanie leaves the engine to do something that she’s put off for a long time.

In the bunk room, Layton is talking to Miles. The Last Aussie, “the guys” and Mama Grande are downtrain, and they all want to see Miles. Miles is smart, though. He immediately notices that there’s an important name missing from that list. They lost Josie, didn’t they? Miles cries. Layton hugs him and tells him that Josie would have been so proud of him. The scene is very sad and sweet and hard to make jokes about, so let’s move on!

Next, Layton addresses a crowd of representatives from all departments and guilds (except Ag-Sec, because they’re all too busy dealing with lettuce looting). Layton’s speech does not go well. Ruth accuses Layton of murdering the security forces. Lights argues back that the security forces were the ones murdering them! Layton ends his speech by telling people to mark the brand new revolution with their loved ones. Ruth storms off, and Lights calls it bullshit. Great start, everyone!

Ruth isn’t done arguing just yet, so she has a pop at Roche.

She’s on top Ruth form today!

Pike has taken over the Folgers’ car, where he’s enjoying a foot soak and a beard trim from JAnnietor while surrounded by… orgy foreplay? This fucking show! LJ comes home to mourn her parents, and is surprised to discover that she wasn’t invited to the party. Pike introduces LJ to JAnnietor and Terrence-Never-Terry, and then they’re interrupted by two naked people descending the stairs. Apparently there’s a queue of people waiting to have a go in a First Class bed. The next group excitedly head on up.

LJ is distraught at the thought of people fucking in dead parents’ bed, but no one at the party can muster much sympathy for Snowpiercer’s resident cock chopper. LJ begs everyone to leave, but Pike isn’t moving. She then changes tactics, and tries to tell everyone in the room that Pike tried to work against the rebels. But who’s going to believe her? Pike does what most reasonable people would do if stuck in a room with LJ: he tells her she has no friends, and literally throws her out.

Up in the engine, those headphones are still playing music to no-one! Bennett thinks it’s probably coming from Ag-Sec. Then, he sneakily angles a screen away from Javi and takes out the satellite feed so that no one else can see what he saw. Melanie takes ONE BREAK in SEVEN YEARS, and Bennett does this!? No wonder our girl has control issues!

Talking of Melanie, she’s visiting the Nightcar. Audrey greets Melanie with an unwelcoming, “Oh. You’re finally ready now.” And they keep that tense energy up for the whole scene!

In the session, Melanie admits that she sent 147 of the last souls on Earth to death. But Audrey knows that Melanie’s there to deal with something else. Miss Audrey does her whole Nightcar hypnotherapy thing, and Melanie is eventually taken into an idyllic flashback of her daughter. When Audrey presses Melanie for information, she explains, “I sacrificed my daughter for this train.”

Audrey instructs Melanie to go further. “If Alex was here, what would you want to say to her?” Melanie hasn’t given Alex’s name in this scene (unless perhaps she mumbled it while in a flashback?), so it’s interesting that Audrey already knows! I’d really love some more details about their past. In the flashback, Melanie hugs Alex, and in the experience room Audrey hugs Melanie.

Down in the Chains, Layton is taking a look at Zarah’s baby scan. He calls it “she”. Because they have to disagree about everything, Zarah thinks it’s a boy. And then, we get a closeup of the scan!

0.25cm and 5w5d±**d suggests that either Terrence-Never-Terry overestimated how long ago Fight Night was, the Snowpiercer contraceptives have some weird fertility effects, or the writers don’t know the difference between gestational age and embryonic age. But hey! It’s still relatively useful information!

Zarah and Layton aren’t sure how they’re going to manage to co-parent after everything, but they’ll find a way.

In Ag-Sec, the strawberry car has been trashed. Jinju lists off a huge list of issues to Till and Roche, and I’m gonna just take a moment to talk about the fact that Till is STILL covered in blood. She seemed to spend a lot of time last episode waiting around for Layton, so I’m pretty sure she could have taken five minutes to wash her face and put a clean shirt on? Maybe at the same time that Melanie found a whole new outfit, for example? I guess Till’s just into this aesthetic?

Till doesn’t give a fuck about Ag-Sec’s issues: their first priority is equal calories for everyone. Jinju explains that they lost sixteen workers and the team haven’t slept for 48 hours. I think it’s safe to assume that the majority of passengers have been awake for that long, so it might not be the strong play that Jinju thinks it is. Till snarkily thanks Jinju for her efforts and Roche decides to get the fuck out of there before he gets caught up in the breakup that’s been brewing for five episodes.

Till yells at Jinju for lying to her (and the whole train) about Wilford and Melanie. Jinju explains why she thinks it was necessary. Then, she demonstrates why it’s a terrible idea to break up with someone when you haven't slept for two days. First, she says, “Come on, Till,” which is very interesting given that Jinju usually calls Till, “Bess” when they’re together. Then, taking a line straight from Ruth’s School of Desperate Romance, Jinju asks, “Would you really rather be alone?” How unhealthy was this relationship!?

Brakeman Till shows way more maturity than I ever expected from her, and replies, “I’m not alone.” She’s got all her new revolution friends, and more responsibility to the train than ever before. They fulfil episode eight’s prophecy: they’ve gotta choose between each other and the train. And the train comes first. They kiss one last time, then treat us to this bit of very important information about Snowpiercer culture:

Why is it very important? Well, the first reason is that Jinju is literally never seen around ever again. How the hell does she pull that off? And the second reason is that it’s going to make Mel/Ruth shippers scream in the next scene…

A very sad Ruth refreshes her makeup, then sits alone in the announcements booth. Melanie has come to hand over the Head of Hospitality position, and try to make amends. Ruth is highly unimpressed with the anarchy, chaos, and stacks of frozen bodies waiting to be composted. But most of all, she’s angry that Melanie gets to go and hide away in the engine while Ruth is left to deal with these people. Melanie tells Ruth that democracy used to work and… really? With all the books in Melanie’s library, and her opening speech about being haunted by choices that caused global warming, she thinks that democracy used to work? So many characters are saying strange things this episode! Let’s blame it on the sleep deprivation.

Ruth gets down to it: Melanie sent 147 people - including some of Ruth’s friends, like Nolan Grey - to die. Ruth finishes up with, “Survival doesn’t need love, does it?” and Melanie corrects her: there’s nothing more important than love. That’s what Melanie got so wrong. Ruth glares at Melanie, and opens the door for her to leave. They have an even more brutal breakup than Till and Jinju.

Ruth slams the door, and she looks like she’s about to cry her new makeup off already.

After another cool outside shot of the train, we return to the engine. Javi is listening to the opera, and trying to manually triangulate the signal that Bennett is trying to keep hidden. Melanie walks in wearing an engineering jumpsuit and announces “I’m back!”, looking genuinely happy despite everything she’s been through in the last few days/hours. She starts to give instructions for their traditional slow-down to mark Mile Zero, but Javi interrupts her to get her to listen to the cool new song he found on the radio.

Bennett tries to brush the music off, but Javi insists that it’s coming from the Northwest. Outside! Are there survivors? Melanie asks Bennett for more information, and he explains that the satellite is down. If they want to learn more, they’ll need to slow down before they go out of range of the signal.

Downtrain, Roche has caught some lettuce thieves. He brings them to Layton and Till, who are having a coffee in the mess hall YET STILL HAVEN'T WASHED THE BLOOD OFF! They find out that the lettuce was for Pike up in First, but they don’t have time to do anything about it because Layton is needed in the engine, immediately. Roche and Till are very unimpressed that Layton tells them to “keep order until [he gets] back”.

Up in the engine, Melanie explains to Layton that they haven’t had any radio contact in six and a half years. Bennett suggests it’s just a loop that’s been running the whole time, and they haven’t heard it because they don’t use the radio any more. But he wants to slow down anyway, to get a look at whatever might be sending the transmission. Till, Zarah and Miss Gillies should try out Bennett’s acting class! He’s good!

Melanie explains the predicament to Layton: if they slow down, they’ll be using more power than they generate. But if they don’t slow, they’ll miss their chance to investigate the signal. They agree to slow, in case there are survivors out there.

Downtrain, a drunken, beaten up Osweiller accidentally knocks into a tearful LJ. She punches him to the floor in self-defence, then apologises. They bond over the fact that (now that Commander Grey is dead) they’re the least likable characters on the show. LJ shows Osweiller the only thing she has to trade: an egg. And she doesn’t even know “how to take the skin off.” Osweiller does, though! He’s an egg peeling expert! The first step is to smash it against your head without even checking whether it’s cooked.

These two deserve each other.

Back up in the engine, the signal is peaking - they must be almost on top of it. Bennett ‘fixes’ the satellite to check, but doesn’t tell anyone. Melanie takes a look out of her binoculars and spots… Big Alice!

There’s commotion in the First class dining hall, as the passengers flock to the window. Tristan and Eugenia quickly tell Ruth that there’s another train outside!

Ruth’s lines in this episode are outstanding.

Up in the engine, they’re panicking. Melanie wants to drag all the power they can, to move as fast as they can to get away from that train. The tracks connect. The train will switch in behind Snowpiercer, and Melanie is sure they’ll try to board through the huge door at the back of the tail. Is that why she wouldn’t entertain the idea of disconnecting the tail carriages? Bennett points out that they don’t know it’s Wilford on Big Alice! And it’s Melanie’s turn to get an iconic line. “Who else, Ben? Another merry band of ark pirates?”

There’s a brief break from the engine to show Ruth literally squealing with excitement as she tells everybody in First to stay calm. Then, Melanie gives Layton a grave warning about how Wilford will be far worse than the literal fucking war that they just had.

In First, Ruth is ecstatic! Wilford has come to save them from the “bloody rebels”! I don’t want to criticise but… maybe they wouldn’t have the reputation of being “bloody rebels” if Till and Layton gave their faces a quick wash? Just a thought! Ruth and Tristan are going to need a greeting party. Or is that not the protocol? Ruth can’t remember! They’ll make do. They’re off to the tail!

Outside, Big Alice is braking hard, preparing to dock with the tail. Meanwhile, Bennett is enjoying a spot of ghost-bird watching, and Javi is finishing off his math homework.

Melanie believes that Snowpiercer can outrun Big Alice, but Javi tells Melanie that his calculations say otherwise. Melanie has barely been back at work for ten minutes, but she’s right back on her bullshit and ignoring Javi! He needs to do the math again, until it tells Melanie what she wants to hear. How many issues would have been avoided if Melanie and Bennett just listened to Javi occasionally? No wonder the poor guy defected for an episode!

We head to the Folgers’ car next, and I’m gonna have to stop making jokes about Roche being Till and Layton’s dad because the three of them rock up to the orgy together. They’re there to stop it, not to partake! But still! Layton needs Pike to help unite the people against their common enemy, and drags him off to the tail.

Back in the engine, Javi warns that they’re going too fast, and Bennett warns that the reserves are at emergency levels. They have to slow down, or it’s over. Melanie orders them not to slow down. She’s still convinced that they can outrun Big Alice, despite all the evidence to the contrary. Again, I guess we just blame this strange behaviour on sleep deprivation? Why would Melanie Cavill ignore the science?

Big Alice clips the tail as it switches in behind them - it’s a good thing they dropped those seven cars yesterday, or there would have been a crash! Layton quickly gets the exhausted soldiers organised to defend the train and create barricades, and they make their way to the tail.

Meanwhile, Melanie softly encourages Snowpiercer to go faster. But none of her words change the fact that Javi’s math was right: Big Alice easily catches them up, and docks. The tail kids - some of the few people that are still downtrain - go to investigate the clunking at the back door. In the engine, Bennett and Javi explain that the other train is using an uplink to hack Snowpiercer’s controls. Wilford is trying to seize Snowpiercer's engine. The only way to stop the hack is to go outside and destroy the physical connection.

Layton and his army arrive at the tail. They’re quickly followed by Ruth, who is leading the First and Second Children’s choir through the train to welcome Mr. Wilford.

Roche yells at Ruth, and she retorts that she’s there on official business: Hospitality leads the welcoming party! Roche, Pike, Layton and Till cannot fucking believe that Ruth just marched a bunch of singing kids into a military situation, and tell her as much. Ruth turns away for a moment - to address the children, perhaps? To tell them to return to safety uptrain? No! It’s to pull a gun from her fur!

This show is genuinely funnier than most comedies I’ve seen.

Ruth goes on a little rant about how Grey would have been there in full dress uniform, and she would have been beside him because her uniform says peace. Teal is the colour of diplomacy! Ohhhhhh, diplomacy. That’s why she’s threatening them with a gun. Layton calms Ruth down and agrees that she should be at his side when the door opens - they need diplomacy, rather than another war. Ruth agrees, on the condition that she gets to be the first person to shake Mr. Wilford’s hand. She hands the gun to Roche, and heads to the front line with Layton.

In a maintenance car, Melanie and Bennett are suiting up to go outside and destroy the uplink. Surely breach workers could have done this? Aren’t Melanie and Bennett needed in the engine? Must be the lack of sleep, again.

Bennett doesn’t like the idea of breaking the uplink, and suggests they should stand down. Then, we discover why Bennett hid the satellite images and convinced the others to slow the train: Big Alice is packed with hex nuts! Snowpiercer is running out of the spare parts it needs to survive.

Melanie has a rant at Bennett - he didn’t consider that perhaps his precious hex nuts aren’t still on Big Alice, or that Mr. Wilford might not willingly share the hex nuts if there are any, or that the populations of the two trains might infect each other with deadly diseases (but isn’t that the point of the biosecurity car? These people really need a nap!)

And then, Melanie realises that Bennett knew about Big Alice for hours before the rest of them. She is furious that he hid the discovery and lied to them. But she’s most furious that he made the decision without her. For payback, she gives his coldsuit a quick vasectomy. Now he can’t play outside! Melanie concludes that she will not put her faith in Wilford again. There’s some serious backstory there, huh? Bennett tries to stop Melanie going out, but she gives him a death glare until he opens the door for her, and she goes out to play by herself.

Melanie jumps around on top of the train, clipping and unclipping her safety rope very unsafely. Maybe that’s part of why Bennett didn’t want her to go out alone? Do the safety ropes require two people to work properly across carriages? When Big Alice hacks the brakes, the resulting jolt causes Melanie to fall off the train, and into the snow below.

Seconds later, in the exact spot they departed from seven years ago, Snowpiercer grinds to a halt.

At the supply door, Layton is trying to rally the crowd with a speech. Ruth is chiming in to shoot him down at every opportunity.

Then, the door swings open. Alex marches forward and explains the situation: Mr. Wilford has seized control of Snowpiercer’s engine, and if the people of Snowpiercer don’t agree to a peaceful surrender they’ll freeze to death within minutes.

(Sidenote: the subtitles spell Ruth’s surname differently in this scene and it’s very annoying!)

Layton and Ruth aren't exactly the most united front, and their bickering quickly grinds away at Alex until she asks what she really wants to know: is Melanie Cavill alive? Ruth answers that, yes, Melanie is alive. Layton then asks who Alex is. Alex gives her name, then nearly cries as she asks, “Where is my mother?”

The next shot answers Alex’s question: Melanie is busy making snow angels outside! When she's had enough, she gets up, grabs her axe and starts walking towards the train.

And that's it! The end of Season One of Snowpiercer!

#snowpiercer s1e10 #snowpiercer 1.10 #snowpiercer #snowpiercer recap #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer season 1

[snowpiercer-recaps]

Season 2, episode 8: The God Complex Module

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e8: The Eternal Engineer. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

It’s Roche’s turn to monologue this episode. Snowpiercer's people are now more afraid of each other than of food insecurity or disease. He’s just trying to keep people together. We also get a look inside Roche’s locker, which is full of pictures of his family - including his two dead children.

Meanwhile, Boki places W tokens on the wrapped-up bodies of the murdered breach workers. People all over the train stand to attention with their hands over their hearts for the funeral. Some of the people begin to hold up three fingers in the W salute, rather than holding their hearts. In the final scene before the opening credits, Boki starts to throw the bodies of his colleagues out of the train. What happened to not wasting resources? That's a lot of fabric and rope and useful carbon!

After the opening credits, Till, Layton, Roche and Till’s detective coat are sitting with Boki in the Nightcar. With Clay dead, Zarah working in Hospitality and Audrey on Big Alice, the place is almost creepily deserted. The cops are trying to convince Boki that Pastor Logan organised the murders of his friends. But Boki still thinks it was tailies - he’s spent thirty years risking his life for Wilford, and he can’t believe Wilford would kill Breachmen. Roche tries to appeal to Boki to help them keep the peace, but Boki pulls an Alex and storms off.

In the Big Alice engine car, Wilford enters the cockpit to have a little catchup with Alex while Audrey sings from the murder bathtub.

Alex is passive-aggressive about how untidy her new stepmom is, then presses Wilford for information about his secret plans. He’s still not telling her, though. Alex noticed an intentional breach this morning - not just Snowpiercer dropping the bodies, but also one on Big Alice. Wilford denies all knowledge, but Alex isn’t convinced.

In the Layton-Ferami First Class Living/Meeting Room, Layton is talking about how unsafe the train feels. Lights says that the Tailies can’t move freely at all, and I’m left wondering how she’s made it all the way up in First, then? Next, Till and her detective coat confirm that the Tunnelmen are lost, even though two murder suspects are already behind bars. Uhh, Till, sweetie, that’s not the flex you think it is! Pastor Logan and Eugenia are a good start, but there are still at least another seven other murderers at large! Of course people aren’t relaxing yet! (Sidenote: I’d LOVE a scene of Eugenia in jail!)

Dr. Pelton gives the next update. She confirms that most of Second are still with Layton, in typical Pelton style:

She’s so great!

Finally, Roche tries to get everyone to relax. The Brakemen are all on Layton’s side! But Layton isn’t so sure - some of them were doing the W salute at the funeral. Roche explains that it’s just a tradition, for the Breachmen.

Roche heads home after the meeting. Carly (aka Fireball) isn’t happy that she’s being moved uptrain - but it’s just for a short while, so that she doesn’t have to walk to school through the riots and armed mobs. The Roches say their goodbyes and “I love you”s, and Carly is escorted uptrain to the Paolis’ by a Brakeman. Then, Roche - shit, they’re all Roche! I'm gonna have to call him Sam! Sam tells Anne how bad it is: they’re one dirty look away from a civil war.

They get into some backstory: Sam lost his faith on the train, but Anne still believes. She and Snowpiercer’s other Christians are struggling to come to terms with the idea that their Pastor ordered the deaths of eight people. But luckily the tension is broken when their kitchen tap explodes everywhere!

Uptrain, the engine bros are alerted to the water pressure issues. Javi isn’t pleased that he can’t just stick the train on autopilot all day, and heads down to check out the problem.

Meanwhile, Ruth has got her welly boots on to wade through the puddles. She asks Anne what’s happening. Anne tells Ruth that the cabins are flooding. Uh, yeah? In the background, LJ is panicking that Ruth is on the way. Osweiller gives her a little pep talk, and it appears to work too well. LJ responds with “Let’s janitor this bitch!” … Sure, LJ.

Brakeman Blowie and Train Psycho give Ruth a quick update: the cabins are under control now, but the subtrain has started leaking. Osweiller takes Ruth down to show her, just in time for a pressure surge! They all get soaked.

On Big Alice, we finally catch up with Josie again! Wilford is visiting, and it’s disconcerting to watch him being nice. She wasn’t in the last episode because she was unconscious, having another goop bath. Josie wants to know why Wilford has healed her, but he ignores the question and jumps right into a nice breach of doctor-patient confidentiality: he’s heard about her phantom pain. He’s a bit creepy as he begins to do the fake hand trick. He mansplains the treatment to her (an actual medical professional!) After a while, it starts to work. Wilford then delivers some of the most concerning lines of the episode:

As Wilford leaves, he informs Josie that her door won’t be locked any more and welcomes her to Big Alice. I know she’s got important spying to do, but I want her to run home right now!

In Snowpiercer’s engine, Bennett explains the water pressure issue to Layton, Roche, Till, and her detective coat. It doesn’t make sense to me that all three of them are required in the engine for this, but hey! The port intake won’t close, so they’re taking in too much snow. Layton doesn’t understand Difficult Engine Things, so asks Bennett for a 1-10 rating of how bad the problem is. Bennett states that it would usually be a three, because it would be easy to send a couple of breach workers out to fix it. But given that most of the breach workers were just murdered, it’s at least a six. Layton rounds the six up to a ten. Relatable.

In Big Alice’s engine, Audrey interrupts Alex’s train feeling time. Alex and her stepmom have a quick standoff to establish that Wilford is still keeping Alex in the dark about something, and then Audrey tells Alex to look out of the window. Icy Bob is staggering towards them, on top of the train.

Alex rushes down to the lab just in time to see Bob fall through the door. The Headwoods try to warm him up, and Bob reaches out a hand. Wilford grabs a W token, like the one Boki placed on one of his murdered colleagues, and gives it to Bob. Alex asks why Bob was sent out, but no one answers her.

In the Big Alice canteen, Audrey blasts into the room in a shiny gold dress, waits for the whole room to look at her, and then walks over to sit with Josie. She can’t believe that Josie was homeschooled! Audrey tells Josie that she can’t wear a tank top two days in a row, that she can only wear her hair in a ponytail once per week, and that on Wednesdays they wear pink!

Josie knows who Audrey is, and asks why she’s on Big Alice. Audrey ignores her, and instead tells Josie that, with a little more effort, she could be beautiful again. Sweary Josie returns!

WTF, Audrey?

Josie asks Audrey for information on Snowpiercer. Audrey plays with the mush on Josie’s, and tells her that Layton is struggling to keep power. Josie quickly pieces together that Audrey has defected. But Audrey corrects her: she’s returned. Audrey proceeds to give a little speech about how both she and Josie were leaders on Snowpiercer, and says that she’s sleeping much better on Big Alice, now that the weight of the responsibility of leadership has been lifted. She offers Josie to join them. Fuck. I really miss season one Audrey!

In Snowpiercer’s queer gym, Boki is boxing away his grief. He knew that Layton, Till and her detective coat would be visiting to ask him to sort out the water issue. They’re respectfully humble as they ask, and Boki toys with them for a bit - what if he doesn’t go out? Eventually, though, he heads out to suit up and save the train.

Back in the Big Alice lab, Josie visits Icy Bob. He’s covered in frostbite and struggling to talk. She asks him what meds he’s on, but he just replies, “I’m ready. I’ve served my purpose.” Josie insists that he’s got a far greater purpose than just being Wilford’s weapon, and Mrs. Dr. Headwood enters the room just in time to agree. She laments that, after all their hard work, they’ll never discover his full potential. She gives him a pill, and tells Josie that they need her to rest - now, more than ever. Josie is confused and worried by the statement, and so am I!

Instead of asking questions or safely seeking out more information, Josie decides to sneak downstairs and stick her hand through the fucking coldlock. She only has one hand left! And she wanted to risk freezing it off based on one little hint!? Josie’s brain should definitely be defrosted by now, but there’s clearly a need for a bit of goop on her prefrontal cortex. Luckily, her hand is fine. But it was still a very fucking stupid idea! I miss season one Josie almost as much as I miss season one Audrey.

From Big Alice’s Big Window, Alex notices that Snowpiercer is venting water and slowing down. She’s trying to figure out what’s happening, but her questions annoy Wilford and he tells her to just ask Bennett what’s going on.

Meanwhile, the engine bros are updating Layton on the situation: they’ve had to slow down to sort out the intake issue, which means they’re going to be late to pick up Melanie - who they still haven’t regained contact with. Alex calls and demands to know what’s happening, but Layton shakes his head at Bennett. Bennett lies that they’re just taking advantage of the straight track to do some maintenance, and Wilford pounces on the opportunity to gloat.

Boki heads outside, and finds the issue: a rail spike has been jammed into the intake! And when he can’t reach it, he doesn’t just struggle for half an episode like Melanie did in s1e6 - he uses his axe! What a guy!

When he’s back inside, Boki shows Layton, Bennett and Javi the number ten Wilford spike. He also tells them that ice had been broken off the access ladder - someone else had used it recently. The intake block definitely wasn’t an accident.

Bennett and Javi quickly whisper an excuse to escape the scene before they have to witness any emotion. Then, Boki explains the significance of his W token (it symbolises Wilford pledging his life for his breach workers), hands the token to Layton, and defects from Wilford’s side in style:

Well, Layton does have a history of sticking small objects in assholes!

Downtrain, LJ is giving Ruth another update. Ruth praises her for trying hard. With Josie and Audrey on Big Alice, is Ruth the Train Mum now? LJ ruins it, because of course she does - she’s trying hard for Wilford’s train. Ruth stays positive, tells LJ to keep up the good work, and then adds that her parents would be proud. LJ doesn’t think that’s true - she has callouses now!

As Ruth walks away, Anne Roche calls her over. Anne has been asked whether Sam stands with or against Wilford, and she wants to know whether Ruth has been asked the same question. Ruth explains that Hospitality has to remain neutral, and Anne retorts that the Brakemen do, too. Does Ruth think that Sam is remaining neutral? Ruth dodges the question, which pretty much confirms that he is not.

Talking of Sam, he’s busy sending Breachmen all over the train. One of his employees informs him of a rumour that the surviving Jackboots have reformed, but before they can address the issue Anne pops in with sandwiches for everyone, and they all filter out. Anne says that there are now more people for Wilford than against him. Sam doesn’t quite agree, but concedes that it’s a close call. Then, it’s time for another vague, concerning line:

Is Anne implying that Wilford and/or his supporters caused their kids’ deaths? It doesn’t seem like she’s just referring to the freeze, right? Yikes!

Anne preferred life on the train before the revolution. She thinks Wilford and his rules will sort out all the issues they’re currently experiencing. But Sam doesn’t agree. He points out that Wilford literally designed the train to have arm-freezing ports! Anne wants Sam to put his family first, and Sam insists that he is! Layton is a good guy, who is trying to create a better world, and that’s what Sam wants for his family. Layton and Zarah are gonna be able to argue this well, one day.

In Terrence-Never-Terry’s former office, LJ tells Osweiller that she’s “covered in shit and cooking [him] dinner.” She said it! Dinner is hard boiled eggs, which I guess is supposed to be cute but I can’t bring myself to like either of these characters at all. LJ thinks she’s a working class action hero, and yeah, sure, LJ. Osweiller thinks LJ is the only person who likes him, and LJ asks what Till? Osweiller explains that big sisters don’t count as friends unless they like you. Then he says that LJ is his favourite, before quickly getting defensive in case LJ makes fun of him. But he’s her favourite, too. And then they kiss. I think I genuinely preferred the Ruth/Grey scenes to this!? STOPPPPPPP!

In the engine server room, Javi and Bennett introduce Layton to the engine’s brain - the Wilford Industries Digital Automation System. It’s kinda disappointing that Wilford didn’t want to come up with a more entertaining acronym! Do they at least pronounce WIDAS “wide ass”? The hydrogen input signal keeps fluctuating, and the engine bros are concerned.

In Big Alice’s engine, Audrey and Wilford are lounging about and reading while Kevin waits on them and Alex is still trying to resolve the mystery. She’s half way there! She’s figured out that Icy Bob did something to the intake. Wilford praises Alex for working it out, and Audrey derides her for being too slow.

The engine bros have figured out why the signal is poor: the sensor is in the intake, so it was probably damaged. I’m not sure why they didn’t think of that first? I guess Melanie was always the smartest engineer! The broken sensor has fried the God Module - the thing that basically runs the engine. This feels like a fucking huge design flaw! Why can one dodgy sensor do that so easily? Anyway, they need to replace the part, fast. But they don’t have a replacement.

Alex tries to determine why Wilford just wanted to do a little easy-to-fix damage to the intake while Kevin pours water for Jupiter like he’s working at the Ritz.

Then, Bennett calls in to answer Alex’s questions. There’s an emergency on Snowpiercer. Wilford is thrilled!

Next, Layton and Bennett update Ruth, Roche, Zarah, Lights, Till and her detective coat on the situation. Wilford sabotaged the engine, and he has a replacement part - but he’s insisting on bringing it himself. Wilford has to visit the engine, or they’ll all be dead within hours. But Wilford’s supporters can’t see him travelling through the train to save them - it would be disastrous. Lights asks what will happen “if it all goes to shit?” Fair question! Layton will send up a flare.

Lights and Till both hug themselves throughout this entire scene, and Zarah is as exasperated as I am that they don’t just hug each other.

At the border, Layton, Ruth and Roche meet Mr. Wilford. Wilford thinks he must be very popular, if they don’t want people to see him! They travel up to the engine quietly - even Ruth and Roche don’t engage with Wilford. Tunnelman Jakes spots Wilford on the subtrain as they travel. Uh oh.

Uptrain, Wilford enjoys seeing his engine car for the first time in seven years! Bennett chips him in, and Wilford greets him by accusing him of ruining the moment. They glare at each other for a bit. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of one very specific lesbian writing a very niche set of fanfic.

Ruth and Roche say goodbye to Wilford, and Wilford says he hopes that Roche continues to hold the balance of power wisely. Uh oh. Then, Wilford heads down to the engine server room. He greets Javi, and asks whether it’s true he was in the bathroom when Melanie and Bennett stole the train. It was! So, there’s Javi’s whole backstory! Wilford won’t give Bennett the spare part, because he prefers Javi. The music gets tense as they get to work.

Meanwhile in Third, Jakes and the uninformed Jackboots are making a plan to keep Wilford in the engine.

Wilford is flexing his saviour complex again, and Layton is tired of his shit: Wilford risked all their lives for a publicity stunt. Wilford admits that he’s hoping people will realise he’s there, ready to give him credit for saving the day. Wilford then gives Bennett an unnecessary instruction, and Layton tells Wilford that the engine bros have got it under control.

I don’t like Wilford, but he’s right! Layton has absolutely no idea what’s happening!

The replacement God Module works for a few seconds, but then starts sparking and smoking like all computer science in a TV show. Wilford hates surprises! This wasn’t what he planned, and he quickly flies into action to save his beloved engine. It turns out that Melanie did a little fix years ago, and it’s fucked the whole thing up - the God Module can’t override the system. They discuss the issues and quickly come up with a plan - they’ll have to do a manual restart.

Bennett announces an emergency, and the Tunnelmen jump straight into action. Ruth and Roche catch up with Zarah and Till, and they’re all very worried about what’s happening. Alex receives a call from Wilford, and she’s even more worried than the others! She asks if it’s part of Wilford’s plan, and he angrily yells “No!” before giving her instructions for what to do when Snowpiercer shuts down.

Bennett gives the command, and the Tunnelmen shut everything down. There are eerie, quiet shots of people all over the train. Wilford takes over from Javi to sort everything out in the server room, and takes another opportunity to remind Layton that he doesn’t know anything about engineering. Then, Wilford announces to the train. So much for keeping his visit quiet. They finish up, and Wilford makes another announcement to restart the systems. Wilford teases Layton as he works. When the lights come back on, the people of Snowpiercer cheer, and chant Wilford’s name. Fuck.

Sad music plays over sad, slow shots of the anti-Wilford task force. Bennett squeezes Layton’s shoulder. And then Layton sets off that red flare he mentioned earlier, to formally announce that it’s all gone to shit.

The next day, Layton is cuffed to the torturey hospitality room table. Roche chips in to inform Layton that he’s going to be taken to Big Alice. Layton is worried about the Tail, and Roche promises to do what he can to help them. Layton tells Roche he just wants to see his kid be born, and cries. Roche uncuffs Layton and lets Zarah into the room. They hug and cry and apologise. Zarah reminds him that they don’t give up!

That Brakeman from earlier was right about the Jackboots: at least six of them are outside, waiting to take Layton away. Six!! Roche and Layton wish each other luck, and Roche is instructed to report to Big Alice. Audrey escorts him to a small drawer room. The Headwoods greet him warmly, and Roche sees his wife and daughter, already suspended in open drawers. Fuck.

In the final scene, Wilford saunters into Snowpiercer’s engine to take over from Bennett. Bennett is clearly regretting that time three(ish) weeks ago that he lied to his colleagues and slowed the train down on the off chance of picking up a few new hex nuts! He dejectedly tells Mr. Wilford, “You have the train,” and Wilford grins infuriatingly as he sits in the driver’s seat.

They should just kill him while he doesn’t have security, and pretend he's running the train for the next seven years!

#snowpiercer s2e8 #snowpiercer 2.08 #snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer rewatch #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer #snowpiercer season 2