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#Because it's not like I knew anything about this before 2020
satubby · 2 days
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•Daddy's girl Second part•
[See your face smile once again]
Here is the part before this (Maybe it doesn't even make sense but god, it was 2020, we still barely knew about Kenjaku)
♡ >>> 《☆》 <<< ♡
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He hears through the gloom, the crunch of bones and the sound of the city… or maybe it was his hallucination?
Satoru feels like he is in a deep ocean, drowning... Darkness surrounds him, like deep waters that drag him out of his consciousness or perhaps drown him, he no longer knows anything and he doesn't want to keep thinking about it.
Death, the feeling of loneliness that has always accompanied him... even after Suguru Geto left him alone, you had never left him, you were his daughter and yet he ignored you until it was too late to realize. The only thing that made him feel happy, the only human that saw him as Satoru and not the strong cursed sorcerer that was the imbalance in this world of witchcraft. YOU WERE his daughter... but you couldn't be with him anymore, because you were dead and before that your relationship with him was distant.
He remembers that by the time he realized how much you had distanced yourself from him, his feelings no longer mattered to you, just as he once never cared about yours... By then you were an abandoned and alone girl, surrounded by death and a father who left her to not face his fears and blinded by the pain of losing a friendship.
So although he will try his best to repair it, you no longer wanted to know anything about him even when you lived in the same house, you didn't even give him a look or a word. Maybe that's why he tried to be a better father than when he was young and stupid.
You could call it a good thing, it's kind of cute, right? But for someone broken like you, their love was false and although Satoru could see that you really wanted to accept it, in the end the pride of both of you and your injuries prevented you from getting closer. He regrets having left you alone, when you barely knew about the world, and he left you in the hands of others, fearing that when you saw him you would ask for Suguru. That you complained to him for killing his own friend who was like your uncle.
It was stupid if he's honest, looking at current things...he shouldn't have pushed you away believing you'd be better off if he didn't confront you and instead showered you with material things. Satoru did not know how to really love and now that he was lying on the ground, smiling and trusting his students... He realizes again that despite the pride of both of them, you continued to love him as your father, moments before your death how you smiled at him by hugging him and dragging yourself towards him in your last minutes alive.
It may sound selfish on his part, but he really wishes he had said 'I love you' to you even though you were mad at him for leaving you alone, for yelling at you in his teenage and young adult days, at you, his precious little sunshine.
For once he wants to be selfish, he really does, just this once... Damn!! His heart has begun to stop beating, his half is split in two, he laughs coughing up black blood... This fight may be a loss but he smiles knowing that maybe it's karma for leaving you to your fate, saving so many lives but at the expense of yours and his, which if you think about it, wasn't worth it that much.
At this thought, something new crossed his mind: Your beautiful face had not left his memories. Your expression before being hugged by him... His beautiful baby, moments before he died.
He remembers every detail of you and when you played in the bathtub with the rubber ducks, you and Suguru smiling at him, but now those are just memories, of when you both lived and how Shoko used to hit him for heating the powdered milk too much. He misses his friends, you more than anyone...
Satoru wonders, would it have been different if he hadn't left you alone and stayed by your side? He regrets having pushed you away, that you should have made your decisions in the face of his emotional abandonment and all because he was still mourning Geto, forgetting about your existence, longing and lonely like him.
"Tired" was his only answer to that simple question. That's the obvious. Look at his current state... Time, time, Sukuna looks at him, whispers words that he honestly no longer cared about and didn't listen to... his time in this place is over.
"I'm sorry my dear students... I'm sorry my mochi" And although he became a wandering being of revenge until he ran into Sukuna in Megumi's body after having killed the elders, he finally found the peace he was looking for so much. Only the king of curses can kill him now that he himself has become the thing he most swears to purge.
Then Satoru stops breathing, being 'exorcised' and so he lets himself sink into the sea of blissful death.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
The abyss became deeper, his soul fell slowly, Satoru stopped feeling little by little and the only thing he thought while he felt currents of darkness passing through him... was that lullaby.
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please, don't take my sunshine away
The letters came and went, in the distance as if the water swallowed them, the former special sorcerer felt numb floating in nothingness, only the light of something peeking in the mist of the dark sea
The other night, dear, as I laid sleepingI dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistakenSo I hung my head and cried
Then he understood that that voice is his, Satoru smiles inwardly, that lullaby which he sang to you when you were distressed, to apologize for leaving you alone on dark nights.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please, don't take my sunshine away
And before the last syllable of the song, he felt hands grab his face, giving him a hug, Satoru cried in silence when he saw you there, his little sun and his beloved mochi—His abandoned baby...
"Come back, dad... Do it right this time, I'll forgive you for everything!" Your voice sounded in his mind as your soul enveloped him and you walked away, letting him fall into the abyss. And like a shock of reality, Satoru opened his eyes standing in front of the bathroom, on the other side you could hear tears and sobs, it was you, well you seemed younger.
He was surprised to see himself alive and— Younger, he looked like he was in his 20's and that meant that you were 4 years old. He was happy, but then memories ran through his mind, hitting him with headaches.
Moments before you had come home from school with your babysitter, you had shown him a drawing you made for him but he ignored you, saying he was busy and you complained to him crying because he also forgot your dance recital... Which leads to why you are locked in the bathroom.
Trembling, he approaches the lock opening the door, you were curled up with swollen eyes full of tears, uncomfortable, the albino approached you, crouching down and being clumsy when hugging you.
"Shh! Ota-chan is sorry for yelling at you earlier my little one, I was stressed and I shouldn't have said those things to you, will you forgive your fool Ota-chan?" Your eyes looked at him and despite your tears, you hugged him, of course you were still that lonely and vulnerable girl who begged for his attention.
"...Ota-chan is a fool, you left (Y/N) alone at the recital, it hurt a lot" You complained looking at him with a pout, Satoru hugged you getting up with you and kissing your cheek, this time you would have ALL of his attention.
"Ota-chan I'm sorry my baby, I promise that even if I'm busy, I'll come see you and we can go for a walk... What do you want me to do to make it up to you hmm?"
His voice softens as he speaks to you, he no longer dares to be harsh with you, after everything that will happen in the future, at least if he can't stop it, he will protect you.
"Are you seriously going to make it up to (Y/N)? W-well if you don't mind, (Y/n) wants to go to the park" You didn't even turn to look at him which he understood, after years of ignoring you and emotionally abusing you in cold ways, he understood your fear.
"Then it will be Tokyo Disneyland! But for that we must bathe you, and we will clean that beautiful face, it seems that you have a duck's mouth for eyes hahaha" Satoru mocked, playing with you and pulling on your baby cheeks.
"Ota-chan, don't make fun of (Y/N)'s beautiful eyes! You were guilty!" You sulked, grabbing his hair and pulling it, then you laughed when you saw his pained faces, but he didn't even say anything to you, you're still a girl, he must be a better dad for you.
♡ >>> 《☆》 <<< ♡
For the next few days he pampered and loved you, when before he would forget to go to your school projects with Nanami or Shoko going in his place, now he never missed even if he had to threaten the higher ups letting them know that their old asses were still alive because that's how he wanted it, if he killed them like he did before, it would bring a lot of chaos and the truth is he doesn't want to do so much paperwork and much less stay away from you.
He also made sure to spend hours playing with you, showering you or having bubble battles and even inviting Megumi over (well technically Megumi lived with you even though she spent time studying) He also bought you a polaroid camera, it seemed like you loved taking photos.
Little by little Satoru saw his relationship with you blossom and you opened up little by little, coming to love him as he loves you. He thought they would be happy until— What was supposed to happen happened, Yuta and all the events that came after he came under his tutelage.
Due to the many problems that his old friend caused him, Satoru did not want to see the scene where he had to kill him again, he did not want to and he even stood watching it. Geto smiled at him, saying that he sure looked pathetic, that he understood the path he took but that Satoru shouldn't feel guilty.
That night he came home reliving his memories and emotions, even though it has already happened twice he can't get over it, but unlike the past (future?) you were there hugging him, you were a very smart girl and you didn't ask anything, just hugging him.
"It hurts a lot right, Ota-chan? (Y/N) won't ask questions, she's there for you" Satoru smiled and cried, only you could comfort him, he clung to you and whispered a lot of 'I love you my baby', not this time he hid his pain under happiness and you simply decided to play to take care of him, but that simple game distracted him from his pain.
"Tonight, you will be a patient and (Y/N) the doctor!!" You laughed as you spent the entire night playing with him until you fell asleep. When he took you to the bed, he smiled softly, kissing your forehead and letting you sleep, little did you both know that your pure love would turn crazy and passionate.
♡ >>> 《☆》 <<< ♡
It was your 8th birthday, Satoru had made sure to give you the best party and although you had video calls with your acquaintances and his to congratulate you, something very deep inside him that had been brewing since he went back in time and killed his friend again, somewhat selfish and paranoid. Maybe that's why you didn't have many friends, only Megumi and those from the jujutsu technical school, maybe he was VERY selfish by monopolizing your time.
But Satoru loved having you close and his many past/future regrets made him act like this. For 4 years he has been isolating you, you no longer go to school and you have private tutors, he fears that you want to leave like in the past, that others will monopolize your time when you could well do it with him. What if it was excessive? He was, but he didn't care about other people's opinions and even if his coworkers and friends told him that it was bad to isolate you, Satoru only made them less worried, you were fine like that.
Not for nothing has he killed and sacrificed anyone who interfered with his plans with you, the elderly were the first and those who bothered you followed them, he has already lost count of how many he killed, many times you almost died and that is why he preferred to lock you up, and you as a malleable girl (as hateful as it may sound, he just thinks you're very sweet and innocent) You think this is normal, it's just your precious daddy taking care of you.
"Ota-chan!! I've grown up, I'm 14 cm taller than the table!" You laughed raising your arms, Satoru smiled hugging you and lifting you into his arms. Yes, you definitely don't need to leave the house with anyone other than him, your precious golden cage where no one can touch you, much less take you away from him, will no longer allow you to die at the hands of others or be used against him.
"Tsk, Tsk! My little baby is growing, do you want to catch up with your Ota-chan? First drink milk so you can reach me! My dwarfy!" His lips went to your belly and tickled you, left behind was that girl who was abandoned and resentful of him, but who waited until the end, loving him in silence.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please, don't take my sunshine away
The other night, dear, as I laid sleepingI dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistakenSo I hung my head and cried
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please, don't take my sunshine away
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TAG LIST: @louismae, @byakuyasgirlfriendandwife, @moonymoons-blog and 831 people from the previous post
And I thank all the people for waiting for this, damn it took me 4 years hahaha ha... I'm really sorry, but I was depressed so I had no inspiration or head for this, it's just a hobby thanks for your support [UNEDITED!]
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rainingmbappe · 29 days
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I hate then people say "you don't have to be so aggressive or overtly emotional about this" eveytime I start debating zionists. Cause listen, I can have cordial arguments about a lot of things but unfortunately a genocide is not one of them. I will lose my shit and and you can fuck right off
Literally a week ago I had the weirdest conversation of my life where an older man was telling me about how feminism has ruined our world and how women shouldn't be in places of power and should bear children. I made it out that conversation without blood on my hands guys, pls can I get a round of applause. But oh god save me, when I open my mouth against a zionist. I literally see red and tbh, countering the typical zionist talking points can be my professional career atp
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avese23 · 7 months
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I feel like it says something that a famous 19 year old being extremely shitty on the internet is trending more than anything about politicians or effective protests or the actual acts of genocide.
Like yes, people feel betrayed that their parasocial bond with someone not trusted with alchohol or public office has been broken. And yes tumblr would rather focus on fandom than politics and the fact that stranger things is trending but Palestine is not is perhaps evidence of tumblrs (alleged) suppression of what’s actually being posted.
But it still feels gross to see. Telling a Jewish kid to kill himself helps literally no one, and no one cares that this scandal upholds your pre existing dislike of a show and now you feel superior. Yes his actions should upset you, so let yourself feel that anger and disappointment, boycott his stuff, express he’s in the wrong. But then focus on the more dire problems at hand.
In general can we, *for once* make brown people’s suffering about something besides whether you favorite white celebrity is ok with it?
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loverboyfae · 16 days
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i notice frequently this rhetoric of white people mocking other white people for their political involvement/racial politics/sjw behavior (outdated term i know but i have been seeing this attitude for a long time) that amounts to creating basically an anti-strawman? in essence it’s like. there are these white people getting up in arms about racial issues that no person of color actually cares about. no real person of color cares about racist jokes, that’s just sensitive white people. no real people of color (pre-2020) are advocating THAT strongly against the police, that’s just sensitive white people. as a result, i don’t have to do anything about these issues because they’re all being entirely made up by white savior types who all of us hate. (side note: I also used to see this rhetoric with a LOT of other issues like how sjw girls are campaigning against homophobia towards gay men that gay men don’t care about, or for trans people that trans people don’t care about, or for disabled people etc., but i feel like it only really still survives in racial politics)
i think about this often, but i’m especially thinking about an experience i had recently that made it so actually visible to me how much of a lie it is. my campus had an encampment and there was a lot of social media presence saying how everyone there was just rich and privileged white people who could afford to play pretend at protesting and have never had to be scared of the cops in their lives. and i saw how, while there was still a majority of white people because that’s the make up of my school, there was a HIGH percentage of students of color, of Black students, of Muslim students; way higher than i have seen in just a headcount of my classes. and they were bringing with them writings from authors of color and learnings from histories of other protests which they had also been arrested at. i knew people there personally who i know are not just well off kids who can afford whatever happens to them. people WERE making sacrifices doing stuff that can enact change that helps palestinians. there were palestinians there!!!
idk. it’s just very common and very suspect rhetoric and it boggles me that people still use it. tldr: if someone is taking you that an issue affecting marginalized people is only being advocated about by those who are not, question why they only hear it from the people not being harmed before you dismiss the issue. people may not feel safe around them, or they may be willfully manipulating the facts
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multifandomgirl08 · 10 months
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Mini Verstappen Series Masterlist
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Paring: Single Dad!Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader
At the end of 2020, Max Verstappen gets the surprise of his life when he finds out that his ex-girlfriend had given birth to a son, his son. A year and a half later Max's longtime girlfriend of 8 months finds out about his son Nico.
This is an ongoing series. I'm always adding to it. The masterlist changes often.
I do take requests for this. If there is anything that you want to see happen in this series just message me in my ask box. All of my normal request rules apply.
Reader Face Claim: Hande Erçel
Total Published Word Count: 52,939 Words
Disclaimer: This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction, so enjoy it as such.
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𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑂𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟
0.0. Prologue - [December 2020]
Max finds out that he has a son. And it changes his world.
0.1. Be Something You'll Love and Understand [December 2020] Outtakes
He knew that he should have called his mom yesterday but he was still wrapping his head around the idea of being a father.
0.5. The Moment You Smiled At Me - [November 2021]
The evening that started it all for Max and Reader.
1. Mini Verstappen - [July 2022]
You get a small surprise the first time you visit Max’s apartment.
1.5. Girlfriend? - [October 2022] Request
You meet Nico.
1.8. Caught - [June 4, 2023] 18+ Outtakes
Lando swears he knocked before walking into Max's hotel room, maybe he should have yelled before opening the door.
2. Change - [November 26, 2023 + January 2, 2024]
It’s the end of the F1 season. Some things are changing for the Verstappen's.
SMAU #1. The Secrets Out - [December 31, 2023 - January 1, 2024]
It’s the start of a new year. You and Max decide to tell the world about Nico.
3. A Lioness Protects Her Cub - [May 5 - 9, 16, 23, 2024] Request
Reporters are vultures and Max picks out a ring.
4. Day At The Karting Track - [June 15, 2024]
Nico starts karting. It opens a small can of worms.
SMAU #2. Through Max's Eyes - [March 8, July 30 - August 15, 2024]
Max’s Instagram posts about Y/N, and a small life update from the couple.
5. Something Bad, Something Good - [August 17 - 19, 2024] Request
Reader deals with the haters on Twitter, Nico calls Reader Mama. Max claps back at the haters on Instagram like the malewife that he strives to be.
5.5 Time to Move? - [August 25, September 15, 2024]
When Max had brought up moving, it was because the lease on his apartment was going to be up at the end of the year. Maybe it was time to find a new place for all of you.
6. Race Day - [October 20, 2024] Request
Nico tags along with Max during a race day in Monza, well as much as he can.
6.1 Wedding Headcanon - [February 2, 2025]
Headcanons from Max and the Reader's wedding. Social Media posts from their honeymoon.
6.5. Give and Take (Kind of Love We Make) - [February 28, 2025] 18+ Request (The Morning After)
Max had a plan in his head for the evening. He had mapped out the track before, and intended to keep to his strategy until they got home.
6.7. To Constantly Be Away - [March 10, 2025]
Second race of the season and Max is already having a tough time with the car. Missing his family only makes it worse.
7. From Three to Four - [April 4, 2025]
Reader tells Max that your expecting, he doesn't have the best reaction at first.
8. Stones To Throw At My Creator - [July 2025]
He wasn't his father. He would never raise Nico like that.
SMAU #3. The Verstappens - [January 8, February 2, May 26, December 3, 2025]
Big things happen to Max and the reader in 2025. Moving, getting married, and a little surprise that neither of them were expecting.
8.7 Give Me Eyes To See - [December 7, 2025]
Nikita's first few days at home. Flashbacks to moments from the reader's pregnancy.
8.8 Nikita's First Christmas - [December 24-25, 2025]
Nico's first Christmas with his baby brother.
8.9 Ghost of Bittersweet Memories - [January 25, 2026]
A few of the drivers visit you and Max for the day, and you end up talking with Charles about a woman that he meets at an FIA event. (This is the conversation I referenced in Part 2 of Bittersweet.)
9. Glass Houses - [February 17, 22, 23, 2026]
When Raymond had called you about going and getting lunch, you should have known that something was going on.
9.5. All That I Can Give - [May 10, 2026]
Another Mother's Day and one of Nikita's firsts.
9.7. On Sleepless Roads, The Sleepless Go - [December 2-3, 2026]
It's the early hours of Nikita's first birthday, and you can't help but look back at the day you brought your son into the world.
SMAU #4. A Year in Moments - [February 10, May 28, August 2 & 27, October 21 & 31, 2026]
SMAU #5. - [2027]
10. X3 - [July 8-9, 2027]
SMAU #6. - [2028]
11. The End of An Era - [November 2030]
The days leading up to Max retiring from Formula 1. The Article announcing his retirement. And the last race of his F1 career.
12. Right On Track - [2036]
Checking in with the Verstsppens in 2036.
13. Letters From The Past - [November 17, 2038]
Max and Reader sit down to read the letters that Amelia (Nico's birth mom) wrote.
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𝐸 𝒳 𝒯 𝑅 𝒜 𝒮
Pinterest Board
Playlist
Paring Evolution
Timeline
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Dividers made by @cafekitsune | Banner made by me
Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @musingsbyshreya, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun, @smnthnclj, @brekkers-whore, @lpab, @thedecalcomania-blog, @xoscar03, @em-gvf01, @haikyuen, @shelbyteller , @geniusalpaca
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joelsgreys · 1 year
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to do the right thing l part ii
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Pregnant! Female Reader
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series masterlist
summary: Joel has a hard time dealing with things as the pregnancy progresses; you and Joel ask Bill and Frank for the favor of a lifetime.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. BOSTON QZ ERA. ((TW)) PREGNANCY, mentions and references to adoption, angst, asshole Joel, mentions of Sarah, softer Joel towards the end.
word count: 7.9k
a/n: i actually spent more time writing this second part, so hopefully it is a bit more well written than the first one that i wrote in an hour in the middle of the night. T_T
February, 2020
“Well, can I just say that we are just so incredibly thrilled that you two could finally come and join us for dinner this evening,” Frank beamed, grinning from ear to ear as he burst into the dining room with a bottle of his favorite red wine in one hand and a bottle opener in the other.
Bill snorted, stabbing his fork just a little too aggressively into his cut of chicken breast.
“Speak for yourself,” he grouched under his breath before taking a bite. Although he’d quit bringing his gun to the table, both you and Joel knew he had the pistol tucked somewhere nearby. You were willing to bet it was tucked into the waistband of his khaki trousers, but Joel would probably argue that it was in a less obvious place, like strapped to his ankle.
It really seemed as though Bill would never allow himself to get used to you, Tess, and he especially wouldn’t allow himself to get used to Joel. He knew it was the smart, logical choice, keeping you three around for the sake of trading supplies and resources when needed, but overall, it wasn't all that necessary. He and Frank had been doing just fine for years before you all had come into their lives after Frank had met Tess over the radio one afternoon. Or at least, that’s what he liked to believe despite the fact that during your very first lunch together, Joel had easily pointed out several flaws around the perimeter of their neighborhood—weak spots that could be vulnerable to raiders if they ever came along. You and Tess joked that Bill put Joel at the top of his shit list the moment he pointed out that their fence only had about a year left to hold strong. He’d been on it ever since.
Having you all around at this point was more for Frank’s benefit than anything. Bill would do just about anything to make Frank happy, and much to his chagrin, you, Tess, and even Joel, made him happy—having friends made him happy. Bill could do without socializing for the rest of his natural born life, but Frank, on the other hand, would lose his sanity. 
“Oh, don’t mind him. He’s just been in a bad mood because we had a massive roof leak the other day after that huge thunderstorm," Frank explained, rolling his eyes. Being the attentive, gracious host that he always was, he quickly made his way around the dinner table, pouring everyone a generous glass of wine to enjoy with their meal. “He spent hours up on that roof trying to patch it up and then damn near broke his ankle coming down when he missed the last two steps on the ladder. Can you believe that?”
“Thought I noticed a limp,” Joel remarked with an amused smirk.
Frank nudged Joel in the shoulder as he poured his wine. “I had told him to wait for you, Joel, what with you having been in construction before and all. But Mister ‘I don’t need anyone’s help’ decided to do it himself even though he has never patched a roof before in his life.”
“Tell you what, next time we’re over for lunch, I’ll go up there and check it out. Make sure he did it right ‘cause I highly doubt he did.”
Bill glowered at him.
You roughly smacked the side of his thigh underneath the table.
Joel, please, You thought silently. We need to stay on his good side.
Frank chuckled as he fell into step beside your chair. “That would be very helpful if you did, actually. It would definitely give me a bit more peace of mind, especially since the rainiest season of the year is approaching fast.” He offered Bill an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but we really should let an expert take a look at it, just to be on the safe side. Joel knows his stuff, after all.”
As he reached for your glass, you quickly placed your hand over the top of it and lightly shook your head. “Oh, none for me tonight, thank you,” You declined politely. The wine was normally your favorite part of any meal they hosted, seeing as Bill and Frank, who were both quite the wine enthusiasts, knew how to make the most heavenly of pairings. It really was a fucking shame that it would be at least a few more months before you could drink again. Lord only knew you could use the alcohol after all of the bullshit that had been going on lately with Joel. “May I have a glass of water instead, please?”
“What? You don’t want any wine?” Frank frowned and reached out with his free hand, pressing the back of it against your forehead. “Are you feeling sick or something? Should we be worried? Bill, where’s the reader—?”
You chuckled at his usual dramatic little antics. “No, I’m fine,” You assured him. “I’d just rather stick to water tonight if that’s okay.”
“That’s really fucking weird of you, but alright,” he sang over his shoulder as he disappeared into the kitchen. He returned a minute later with a tall glass of clean, filtered water in his hand and set it down on the table in front of you before taking his seat next to Bill. He picked up his red cloth napkin and draped it gingerly over his lap. “So, tell us again why Tess couldn’t make it tonight?”
“She, uh, she had a few things she needed to take care of back in the QZ,” Joel explained to him briefly before popping a piece of roasted rosemary potato into his mouth. The truth was that Tess had opted to stay behind and sit this one out, stating that the conversation that would eventually take place tonight would be between the four of you. She didn’t need to be there, nor be a part of it.
“Well that’s such a shame. I really miss her,” Frank lamented between bites of his garden salad. “It’s been a while since we’ve all gotten together for a meal. Hell, this is the first time we’ve seen you in what, a couple of months at least, right Bill?”
“Felt like a lot less than that. But sure, let’s call it a couple of months.” Bill eyed Joel suspiciously. “Sounded a bit urgent when you radioed in and let us know you had to come see us tonight, Joel. More so than usual. I’m guessing that you two must really need something from us.”
You and Joel exchanged a silent glance.
“Jesus Bill, can you please not be so rude to them for once?” Frank scolded, waving a hand dismissively at his partner. He smiled apologetically at you and Joel. “Again, please don’t mind him. It seems to me that we still have some work left to do with his manners.” He paused just long enough to take a delicate sip of his wine. He set his glass down, then picked up his fork and knife. “But, if you do happen to need anything, you know that we are more than happy to help you out as best as we can if we have the supplies and resources to spare.”
“Which we don’t,” Bill chimed in, earning himself a light smack to the shoulder.
Joel ignored him and instead focused his attention on Frank. He was the one to win over out of the two. “That’s awfully kind of you, Frank. You know that we always appreciate your warm hospitality,” he remarked, and although he was laying it on a little thick for the sake of getting into his good graces, there was an underlying sincerity in his tone. He actually happened to like Frank—it was hard for anyone not to like him. Joel lifted his glass of wine to him in a toast. “Of all the people we could’ve come across on the radio that day, we’re grateful that it was you.”
Frank touched a hand lightly to his chest. He then picked up his own glass, clinking the rim against Joel’s. “Well, cheers to that.”
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Bill grumbled, shaking his head.
Joel nudged your leg under the table as if to let you know it was time.
On the way up to Lincoln, he had suggested Bill and Frank would be a lot more inclined to agree to yours and his pending request if it came from you. Joel could butter Frank up well enough, but Bill hated his fucking guts, and you probably had a better chance of winning the survivalist over than Joel did.
You cleared your throat lightly, garnering everyone’s attention. “I have some news to share. Well, actually, we have some news to share.”
Bill raised a thick, bushy eyebrow. “What kind of news?”
“News? Is everything okay?” Frank asked, suddenly worried. “Wait. Is it Tess? Is she alright? Did something happen?”
“No, it isn’t anything like that at all. Tess is perfectly fine,” You quickly reassured him, causing him to sink back against his chair in relief. You held your breath for a moment before exhaling it softly through your mouth and announcing, “I’m, um—I’m pregnant.”
Bill nearly choked on his chicken and Frank gasped, both hands flying to his mouth in complete shock. The seconds passed in silence, and the room had gone so quiet that one could have heard a fucking pin drop on the floor. You felt the heat flood to your face and nervously shoved a forkful of baked chicken into your mouth, deciding it would be best to just give them a bit of time to process the news before moving onto phase two. However, Joel wasn’t there to waste any time and decided to step in.
“Listen, I know that this is probably a lot to take in, but we didn’t exactly come over here to share that with you just for shits and giggles. As much as it pains me to say it, Bill is right,” he admitted reluctantly. That was one phrase Joel Miller could do without saying ever again. “Truth is, we do need somethin’ from you two. We’ve got a favor to ask you both, a big one at that.”
That had been enough to slap Bill back into reality.
“Oh no, stop right there! I can see where this is going from a fucking mile away!” He jumped up from his chair, furiously shaking his head as he wagged his index finger at you and Joel. “Listen here, we have been as generous as we can possibly be with the two of you, and with Tess—but there’s got to be a line drawn somewhere and this is it! There is no fucking way in hell that we’re taking you into our home, into our neighborhood! This place belongs to us, we built it, we secured it! We worked our goddamn asses off for all that we have and just because she’s pregnant does not mean we will allow you to—”
“That’s not it.” Though your voice was smaller, softer, it managed to get through to Bill over his angry ranting. “That’s not it at all, Bill. We’re not trying to move here or invade your space like that, I swear it.”
His hand dropped down to his side. “Really?”
“No. Of course not. We know you have boundaries, and so does Frank. And whether you choose to believe it or not, we do our best to respect them as much as we possibly can.”
“Oh.” Bill slowly sank back down to his chair, looking relieved. “Then what is it that you two want? You need baby clothes or baby blankets from the boutique or something?”
“Not exactly,” You mumbled. You took a quick minute to think it over in your head, wondering if there was any correct or tactful way to ask what you were about to ask of them—there wasn’t. It didn’t matter if you spun it a million different ways, Bill was still going to blow a fuse again no matter what. “We wanted to ask you and Frank if you would be willing to take the baby into your care once it’s born.”
And just like that, Bill’s temporary relief vanished.  “I beg your fucking pardon?”
You turned to Joel, saying tightly through your teeth, “A little fucking help here, please?”
“Look. Boston ain’t no fuckin’ place for a child,” Joel started, lifting his hand in an attempt to keep Bill calm this time. “Too much shit’s been goin’ on there lately. Violence has escalated, supplies are gettin’ harder to get and costin’ us more than ever before. So we want to know if you and Frank are willing to take the baby after it’s born. It would be better off here with you two than with us in the QZ.”
Bill didn’t need to think twice about it. He answered Joel with a stern, “Absolutely not.”
Joel let out an irritated sigh and dropped his fork. The utensil clanked loudly against the white porcelain plate. He dropped his face into his hands, rubbing it harshly. “Fuckin’ knew he wasn’t gonna make this easy for us.”
You chewed anxiously on your bottom lip, an overwhelming feeling suddenly washing over your entire body from head to toe. It was strange to feel this way, considering the fact Bill and Frank’s place had always been something of a temporary escape for you. Their neighborhood, their home, it usually brought you a sense of peace and tranquility—you felt comfortable whenever you were here. But between Bill’s angry outburst, his instant decline to your request, and Frank’s wide, shocked eyes still fixed intently on you, you suddenly found yourself wishing you were anywhere but in Lincoln.
“You’re pregnant?” Frank’s incredulous voice broke the silence that had fallen over the dinner table. Part of you wondered how much of the conversation he had even heard or if it had just gone in through one ear and out the other. “You’re really pregnant?”
“Frank,” Bill said his name warningly. “Don’t even think about it.”
Frank ignored him, his attention still on you. “How far along are you?”
You glanced at Joel before turning back to him. “It’s just an estimate, but we’re thinking at this point that I might be about four and a half months, maybe almost five?” You replied with a small shrug of your shoulders. “We aren’t too sure, though.”
“And it’s yours?” Bill questioned, eyeing Joel in disbelief.
Joel glared at him, his aggravated silence speaking for him.
“Oh, Bill.” Frank suddenly turned to him with a hopeful expression. “A baby!”
There had been a couple of different occasions where, while sitting outside on the front lawn enjoying a glass of iced tea in the sunshine, Frank had confessed to both you and Tess of his desire to have a family one day. He acknowledged the chances of that ever happening were virtually impossible, but he admitted that it was something he had been dreaming of since meeting Bill. He wanted to be a father. He wanted a child, and here you were, with one that you couldn’t keep.
“Frank. No.” Bill stared at him, unable to fathom how he could even think that taking in a child could possibly be a good idea. “I’m sorry. You know I try to give you everything that you ask for, but I have to put my foot down this time. I have enough trouble keeping you safe as it is! We’ve had raiders come and try knocking at our door before—”
“And you’ve fought them off,” Joel reminded him. “Successfully.”
“Not to mention, think of all the things we would have to do in order to raise a kid, all the supplies and resources we would use up in just the first year alone—”
“Bill, we know this is a lot to ask of you, of both of you,” You somehow managed to chime in. “We know that a favor like this is one we would never be able to repay you for, not in this lifetime. But it’s this child’s only shot. What kind of life would it have where we live? What kind of future would it have in the QZ?”
“Hm. Sounds like not our fucking problem,” Bill quipped. “Sorry.”
Frank’s eyes left his partner’s and met yours across the table before they fell down to your midsection. “You said you’re about four and a half months?”
You gave him a small nod.
Bill might not have been on board, but you still had Frank.
He was your only hope. 
“Yes, but again, it’s an guess. We don’t want anyone else in the QZ knowing that I’m pregnant, so I haven’t been to see a doctor. But we think it’s a pretty close guess.” Suddenly, an idea came to mind. You hesitated, at first, but knew it was your best shot at finishing the job and reeling Frank in. You slowly stood up from the table and with trembling fingers, you started to unbutton the flannel jacket you were wearing—Joel’s flannel jacket—and showed him the swollen belly you had been hiding underneath it. It was on the smaller side, but still quite prominent underneath a snug-fitting, cotton blue tank top.
“Oh!” Frank breathed out in surprise. He rose to his feet, rushing over and around to your side of the table. He excitedly lifted his hands, but then stopped himself, glancing at you for permission first. “Would it be alright if—?”
“Of course, go right ahead,” You encouraged with a tiny smile as you continued holding the jacket open for him.
Frank sank to his knees in front of you. He lightly cradled the small bump in between his palms, looking up at you with a look of absolute wonder on his face.
It felt bizarre, not only showing your midsection to someone else, but having another set of hands besides your own on it felt foreign as well.
As soon as you’d started showing, Joel had refused to go near you—the way he tried painfully to ignore it caused you to keep it hidden away underneath oversized clothes, even in the privacy of your own quarters.
During the first few weeks of your pregnancy, he’d been just fine. Well, as fine as he could be. But once your belly had popped, it was as if it had all suddenly sunk in and really clicked for Joel—this was one hundred percent fucking real now and that was his baby growing inside of you. Since that moment, he hadn’t quite been himself, at least not with you.
Joel still looked out for you, of course. He didn’t dote sweetly on you and shower you with affection, but he did take responsibility in the ways that mattered. He made sure that you were taking the prenatal vitamins Tess had found for you, he made sure that you were eating enough, and if he ever noticed that you were still hungry, he would shovel his own portion onto your plate without asking and head off to sleep on an empty stomach. He helped you out whenever you were assigned to the same work detail, taking on an extra load of work on top of his own if it meant sparing you from even the slightest risk of straining yourself or over exerting your body.
Sure, he still cared for you. He wouldn’t do any of that if he didn’t.
But that didn’t mean things between you hadn’t changed.
They had.
Drastically.
Joel kept his distance from you, physically. He hadn’t fucked you, kissed you, or so much as even touched you in the last couple of months. He’d even started sleeping on the couch, leaving you to sleep alone in your once shared bed. Whenever he spoke to you, he stood at least a few feet away, and his eyes always remained trained on your face—he took especially great care to not look at your growing stomach. You could briefly recall one morning when you’d squeezed past him in the kitchen to grab a mug from the sink while he’d been making his morning coffee; when your belly accidentally brushed against his hand, he had cringed, snatching it away from you as if he’d touched something unpleasant. Deep down, you knew this was his own twisted, fucked up way of coping with how he was feeling, but it still didn’t stop you from wishing that he’d quit acting as if you and the baby were the fucking plague.
 As much as you tried to deny it, the way Joel had been treating you lately hurt you. It cut you deep, down to your very core. You put on a good front for him and Tess, though, acting as if none of it bothered you. But the tears that you shed on the nights they left you alone to go out on their runs were endless.
“Oh Bill,” Frank glanced pleadingly over his shoulder at his partner, his hands still on your stomach. “Please.”
“Frank—”
“Please.”
Bill couldn’t refuse Frank a majority of the time. But this was bigger than anything he’d ever asked of him and it was going to take more than his usual amount of convincing to get him to agree.
Bill scoffed, narrowing his eyes at you. “Let me guess. You want us to take this baby in and you want us to clothe it, feed it, and protect it. You want us to do the real work of raising it, using up our supplies and resources. And then what? You two come along to play mommy and daddy whenever you fucking feel like it?”
You shuffled from foot to foot, wincing slightly at his harshness. “No, of course not.”
Joel wasn’t all too fond of Bill’s tone towards you. He leaned forward, throwing him a warning glare across the table. “She’d like to visit,” he informed him, keeping his temper under control. He knew better than to go off on Bill, not when you were still trying to convince him to do you both the favor of a fucking lifetime. “Every now and again, just to see the kid. But we think it’s best if we do a closed adoption, if you wanna call it that. You and Frank are the parents, and we’re just a couple of friends who come by and visit daddy and daddy every now and again for lunch.”
“Right, and you really want me to believe that there’s no chance she’s going to be attached to this baby after carrying it for nine months?” Although Bill was facing and speaking directly to Joel, it was obvious he was indirectly grilling you. And here Joel thought the man might have had something of a soft spot for you. “Think about it, Joel. You don’t think one day she might waltz in here and decide she wants to take it back? Break Frank’s heart when he has to give up a child he’s going to undoubtedly fall in love with?”
Anger simmered underneath your skin, bubbling in your veins at the insinuation that you could ever do something to hurt Frank. “First of all, stop talking about me like I’m not in the fucking room, alright? I’m standing right here, so fucking look me in the face if you’re going to talk about me.” You seethed. Frank stood up and placed his hand on your shoulder in an effort to calm you, but it was too late. “This isn’t a fucking game, Bill. This isn’t a decision that we made on a whim or that we’re taking lightly. Me and Joel are just trying to do right by this child. If you and Frank agree to take it in as your own, it’s all yours. I’m not going to take it back,” You practically spat. “Once it’s done, it’s fucking done.”
“Alright, alright. I’m going to need you to just take a deep breath and relax before you bring on early labor in the middle of my dining room.” Frank gently guided you until you were sitting back in one of the chairs and handed you your untouched glass of water. He waited patiently as you took a few sips and then took the glass from your hand, setting it back down on the table. “Listen, before we decide anything, I just have to ask—is this really what you want to do? This is a decision that you made, right? No one is making you do this?” He noticed Joel raise his eyebrows at what he was suggesting, and before he could chime in, Frank quickly added, “I just need to hear it from her, Joel.”
“This is what’s best,” You answered honestly, feeling a dull ache in your heart that had become all too familiar. “I have spent so many long nights lying in bed just thinking this over. We don’t have any other choice, not if we want it to have a chance at a decent life. That is what I want, Frank. For it to have a chance at a decent life.”
“This child is gonna grow up and want to know who its parents are,” Bill pointed out. “Thought about that at all?”
“Use your imagination,” Joel remarked before taking a quick sip of wine. “Make somethin’ up. Lie. Tell it you found it in a basket floating down the fuckin’ river. Whatever it takes. We don’t ever want the kid to know it’s us.”
“Going to be kind of hard if it comes out looking like your clone.” Bill gestured to you with a nod of his head. “Or hers.”
“It’ll be a long, long time before this child is even old enough to notice things like who he or she looks like,” You released a little scoff, tired of him using any reason he could think of to stand against it. “Bill, please. Can’t you at least think about it for the next few weeks and at least consider it?”
“No.”
Your face fell. 
Motherfucker really wasn’t going to budge.
“Well now, wait just a second.” Frank walked over to him and put his hands on his burly shoulders. “Bill, think about it. This is our chance.” He squeezed his shoulders. “To have a family. A real family.”
“Family? It’s not our fucking kid—it’s not a part of me or you.”
“But we’ll love it like it is! Blood isn’t what makes a family. Love is,” he reminded him softly.
You swallowed back the lump that had risen in your throat.
Bill might have been a stubborn jackass, but you knew that Frank would show him how to be a good father. He had already shown him how to be an amazing, loving partner.
“So?” Joel prompted. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back into his chair.
Bill scowled at him. He said nothing as he reached for his glass of wine, chugging every last drop in one long gulp before he stood up and stalked out of the dining room.
Frank had his answer.
And so did you and Joel.
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As the next several weeks turned into months, pregnancy—and your ever ongoing attempts at hiding it from everyone in the Boston QZ—had really started to take its toll on you, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Joel had given you all but his entire wardrobe, helping to keep your condition hidden as well as possible, but it was taking a hell of a lot more than just his jackets and shirts to keep it a secret. When you entered your third trimester, you were starting to struggle immensely with work detail, finding it more and more difficult to keep up with what authorities expected of you. Everything ached—your feet, your back, and even the hairs on your fucking head were hurting, and yet you were forced to carry on with your daily duties as best you could to avoid raising any suspicions.
“Frank said it might be best if you gave birth at their place,” Joel commented over dinner one night. Tess was out doing a solo run, and it had just been the two of you for the last couple of days. Lately, you almost wished she would stop leaving you alone with Joel. Ever since that night at Bill and Frank’s, he had been acting a lot colder towards you, more than ever before. He could hardly look at you most days. Before, he could at least stand to look at your face. Now, there wasn’t a single part of you that his eyes could meet. “As soon as you start feelin’ off, we’re gonna need to get you over to them. Frank talked Bill into lettin’ you stay for a few days if it comes down to it and you need some time to heal.”
You simply nodded, your gaze fixed on the torn paper napkin in front of you. “Okay.”
He bit into his piece of jerky, his eyes also glued to the table. Out of his peripheral vision, he could see that you’d finished your portion already. He reached out, dropping his piece in front of you onto your napkin. “Need to eat more,” he grumbled. He picked up his glass of whiskey, polishing it off before pouring himself another. 
You couldn’t stand it.
You couldn’t fucking take it anymore.
“Joel.” You said his name in a smaller voice than what you had been aiming for. “Can we talk?”
He racked his brain for the first bullshit excuse he could think of. “It can wait. S’real late and we need to get to bed soon. We got early work orders tomorrow.”
“No, Joel, actually, it can’t fucking wait.” Your heart was pounding at a rate that felt far too fast for your body and you tried to remind yourself to remain calm. You knew you needed to keep your emotions in check, or else your distress could cause distress to the baby. “We need to talk. Now.”
Joel drew an impatient breath. “Talk ‘bout what, exactly?”
“About how you’ve been acting over the last few months.” Your voice trembled and you almost kicked yourself for it. The last thing that you needed to do was fucking crumble. “And about the way you’ve been treating me, too. You’ve been keeping your distance from me, acting like I’m some kind of—I’ve seen you cringe a lot less when dumping the infected bodies into the fire pits, let’s just put it that way.”
“Those pregnancy hormones,” he released a short, bitter laugh. “Got you bein’ all dramatic.”
“I am not being dramatic.” Your hands curled into tiny fists. “You won’t talk to me. You won’t touch me. You won’t even fucking look at me anymore! I’m sick of it, Joel.”
“It’s nothin’,” he replied dismissively, shrugging his shoulders. He looked down into his whiskey, feigning a sudden interest in the rich amber hues in his glass.
“Nothing?” You repeated, flabbergasted. “Then why haven’t you slept in our bed with me? Hm? Oh that’s right, because you can’t fucking stand to be that close to me! You’d rather break your back on that old fucking couch rather than sleep next to me.” 
Joel’s jaw clenched, his grip around his glass tightening. “Listen, I ain’t doin’ this right now, alright?”
“Joel.” You hesitated. If you crossed this line and pushed one too many of his buttons, there was no fucking going back. “I know that you’re afraid, okay?”
“I ain’t afraid,” he countered through gritted teeth. Finally, he brought himself to look up at you, his eyes meeting yours—that same emotion that he’d just denied was right there behind them as clear as the fucking stars in the sky outside. Joel wasn’t made of stone. He wasn’t any kind of special exception to having normal human feelings. He hid everything pretty well, and because you cared about him, you were willing to put up with his asshole façade because he needed you as much as you needed him. Still, even after years of trying to take the wall he’d built down brick by brick with your bare hands, you hadn’t gotten very far and you wished the man would help you out every now and again and throw you a fucking hammer. “Ain’t no reason for me to be afraid. I ain’t the one who’s fuckin’ pregnant.”
“It’s yours too! This is your baby too, Joel. Your child. It is part of you, just as much as it is a part of me. And ever since day fucking one, you have been scared shitless of it,” You confronted him, another trembling edge coming to your voice. “And I know why, okay? I know that what happened to Sarah—”
Joel froze, going rigid in his seat. His free hand had curled into a fist, his tight knuckles turning ghost white.
It was something of an unspoken rule. 
Nobody talked about Sarah.
Hell, the only reason you even knew about his daughter was because you’d accidentally stumbled upon an old polaroid of her while washing his jeans in the kitchen sink one morning. You had found it in one of the back pockets while cleaning them out, the photograph heavily creased as if he spent ample amounts of time folding it open and then folding it closed again. Sarah’s name had been scribbled on the back of the polaroid. Her smile, her nose, it was all Joel, and it had taken you less than sixty seconds to realize the young teenaged girl posing goofily in the picture had been his daughter.
When you’d handed the picture to him while his jeans dried, it was like a silent bomb had detonated. Although it’d been a mere accident on your part, Joel had been so incredibly angry with you, as if you had gone snooping through his past life on purpose. For weeks, he hadn’t said a single word to you unless it had something to do with work or a run.
He’d lost her. He hadn’t told you that, but you’d guessed it.
Whether it was to infection or something else, you didn’t know. And you knew better than to ask him. All you knew was that losing her had done something irreparable to Joel Miller. Whoever he’d been before losing his daughter was dead too.
“Don’t,” he warned, his voice strained. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
“Joel, please,” You whispered. “Whatever happened to her, you can’t possibly keep it to yourself for the rest of your life. You can talk to me about Sarah—”
Joel slammed his curled fist down onto the table, startling you. He then turned in his chair and flung his glass at the wall behind him, the sound of it shattering into hundreds of pieces echoing throughout the small apartment. Jumping to his feet, he pointed a threatening finger in your face. “Don’t you ever utter her fuckin’ name ever again! You understand me?”
“But Joel—”
“Do you fuckin’ understand me?”
“I understand.” You hardly recognized the squeak that left your lips.
“Go to bed. Now,” he ordered, whirling around on his heel. “It’s fuckin’ late.”
Without another word, Joel stalked over towards the couch and dropped onto it, rolling over onto his side so his back was to you.
You pulled the neckline of his shirt that you wore over your mouth and pressed your palm against it in an effort to muffle a sob.
A few hours later into the middle of the night, Joel had awakened and stood up from the couch only to find you sitting there in the exact same spot where he’d left you at the table. Though it was dark in the apartment, the moonlight that shone through the torn curtains over the window illuminated your face and he could see you hadn’t stopped crying since he’d fallen asleep.
“Y’need to go lay down,” he told you quietly.
You knew this tactic all too well.
His way of apologizing for losing his shit on you without actually apologizing.
“I’m fucking fine right where I am,” You snapped stubbornly in response, quickly dabbing at your damp eyes with the back of your hand. That was a downright lie. Your lower back was on fire from having sat in the chair for so long.
Joel sighed, hanging his head. He knew he’d fucked up. He’d been fucking up for the last several months. He pulled a chair around in front of yours and sat down, his knee touching yours lightly. That alone was enough to send a chill throughout your body. “Sittin’ in that chair for too long ain’t good for your back,” he stated. He waited to see if you would speak and when you didn’t reply a couple minutes later, he sighed again. “Look, I’m real sorry about earlier, alright? Hell, I’m sorry for everythin’. You were right, I’ve been treatin’ you like shit and you definitely don’t deserve it.”
Stunned, you looked up at him.
“I was angry, but I shouldn’t have lashed out on you the way that I did. Much less while you’re in this condition.” He paused, reaching up to rub his face tiredly with one of his hands. He then let it fall back down to his thigh with a loud slapping sound. “It’s a sore spot for me, alright? Always has been and always will be. Nothin’ or no one is goin’ to change that, not ever. Not even you,” he admitted, shoulders sagging as if the realization had just come to him. “You know you mean somethin’ special to me. You know I care about you, and you know you’re what has kept me goin’ these last few years. I’d do just about anythin’ for you. But I need you to respect that I don’t wanna talk about her and I don’t want you bringin’ her up. She is from my past and that is where I need to leave her.”
“But why?” You frowned, wiping a stray tear that had fallen away from your cheek. “That’s not fair to you or to her. She doesn’t deserve to be forgotten about.”
“That what you think it is? That I’m tryin’ to forget about her? Impossible. Not a single day goes by that I don’t think of her.”
You placed your hands down onto your lap and started wringing them together anxiously. “It’s not that I think you’re trying to forget about her, Joel. But you refusing to talk about her, it’s erasing her memory, whether you think of it that way or not.” Noticing him wince at your words, you wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him—stroke his cheek, hold his hand. But you were finally getting somewhere and you knew better than to move too fast, so you willed yourself to keep your hands to yourself. “And besides that, you aren’t doing yourself any favors by keeping her story a secret. You’ve been carrying the weight of whatever happened to her on your shoulders for what, almost two decades now?”
“It’s my burden to carry, alright?”
“You shouldn’t have to carry it alone.” Your expression softened. It dawned on you. You’d thought you knew how much pain Joel had been in for all these years, but the honest truth was that you didn’t have the slightest clue. You didn’t know how bad he was actually hurting—and that killed you inside. “You need to talk about it, Joel. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But someday.”
“No. I can’t—”
“Don’t you trust me?”
Joel almost seemed offended that you’d even ask such a thing. “Of course I fuckin’ trust you.”
“Then why won’t you let me in, Joel?” A fresh batch of tears brimmed your eyes, and you blinked them back furiously before they could fall. “After everything that we’ve been through together. I’m carrying your fucking child for god’s sake.”
He didn’t answer. Tearing his gaze away from you, he looked straight ahead at the wall in front of him.
“Joel.”
Silence.
“Joel. Come on. Can you just fucking look at me, please?”
Nothing.
You let out a long, sad sigh of defeat. So much for getting somewhere. “Alright. Fine.” You placed a hand on your stomach and stood up from your chair. “I’m heading to bed. See you in the morning.”
As you padded over towards your mattress, Joel’s voice stopped you dead in your tracks. “Sarah was my daughter.”
Slowly, you turned around, your lips parted slightly.
“Pretty sure you knew that already though,” he chuckled in spite of himself. “She was fourteen years old. Her mom walked out on us when she was just a baby. I spent her entire life raising her by myself. Tommy, well, he was around too, but he was more of a bad influence than anythin’ and sometimes it felt like I was lookin’ after two kids instead of one.”
You walked back over to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Joel reached up and took your hips in his hands, carefully pulling you down to sit on his lap.
“No Joel, I’m way too heavy.” Embarrassed, you quickly tried standing up.
“You think you’re heavy?” He snorted lightly, holding you firmly in place. “If anythin’, you could stand to have a bit more meat on your bones bein’ almost nine months pregnant and all.”
“Blame my nutritious, nourishing diet of jerky and stale crackers.” The sarcasm dripped from your tone. 
He let out something in between a snort and a laugh.
You couldn’t help but smile a little and draped an arm around his shoulders.
How you’d missed this. Missed him.
You leaned into him, resting your head in the crook of his neck. For the next several minutes, Joel just held you.
Just when you were beginning to wonder how long the silence would last, he broke it.
“I’m not ready to talk ‘bout what happened to her,” he explained, quietly. “Might not be ready for a long, long time. Not sure if I’ll ever be ready, if you want the honest truth. Sarah, she was my sweet little butterfly. The absolute love of my fuckin’ life. Losin’ her was the worst fuckin’ thing that has ever happened to me. It’s a wound that’s still raw as hell, even after all these years. Might even be one of those wounds that just never heals, you know?”
You lifted your head from his shoulder, your hand going to his hair. You ran your fingers through it, amazed how even after going days without a wash, it always stayed so soft. “I know you don’t want me to say that I’m sorry—”
“I really fuckin’ don’t,” Joel confirmed with a shake of his head. “Won’t change shit. Won’t bring her back. Sure as hell won’t make me feel any better.”
“Then I won’t say it.” You brought your hand back down to your lap and leaned forward. You pressed your lips against his forehead, letting them linger. He stiffened, and you could feel him restraining himself from completely melting into your touch. You knew things would take a little time and you were willing to be as patient as you needed to be for him.
“Losin’ another child—” Joel trailed off, voice hoarse. “I just—I can’t.”
“I know,” You soothed him. “Which is why we’re doing the right thing and letting Bill and Frank take him.”
“Him?”
You offered him a small, tired smile. It really was getting late now and the exhaustion was creeping in. “I haven’t had the chance to tell you. But I think it’s a boy.”
“And how the hell could you possibly fuckin’ know that?”
You shrugged. “Just a gut feeling. Tess thinks it’s a boy too. She says with the way I’m carrying, it must be—” You stopped, doubling over in pain. “Fuck. Ouch.”
Alarmed, Joel’s hand found the small of your back, the other was in front of you, making sure you didn’t fall over off of his lap. “What? What is it?”
“The baby just kicked me.” You grimaced, leaning back into a sitting position. “Right in damn the ribs too. And there goes another one.” You exhaled sharply, the discomfort radiating throughout your body. “Jesus. He must take after you with all the violence.”
Joel seemed a bit stunned. “This the first time it’s ever kicked?”
“No. He’s done it a few times before. But never this much in one sitting. Or this hard.” You winced. “He’s really fighting in there.”
Joel just stared at you, something that looked a bit like awe in his eyes.
Through the slight pain, you raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you want to feel him?”
“Oh I don’t think, uh, I don’t think I should—”
“It’s not going to fucking kill you, Joel.”
He hesitantly lifted his hand. “Where—where do I put it?”
“Here.” You took his hand in both of yours and placed it on the side of your round midsection. “Just give it a second. You’ll feel it right here.”
You watched his face carefully. He jumped slightly once he’d felt the fluttering motion against the palm of his hand, his dark eyes going wide.
Even before the outbreak, Joel never thought he’d feel something like that again in his life.
“He’s strong,” he murmured. “Real strong.”
“I know. Wonder where he got that from,” You joked lightly.
Moving his hand away, Joel placed it on your thighs and awkwardly cleared his throat. “It’s, uh, it’s pretty late. You really do need to get some sleep.”
“Okay. But on one condition.”
“What condition?”
“Will you come to bed with me?”
“‘Course.” He stood up, letting out a small, labored grunt as he lifted you up into his arms.
“I told you I’m heavy,” You reminded him with a laugh. “Joel, put me down. This cannot possibly be good for your back.”
“Oh, shut up.” Joel walked over, gingerly placing you down onto the mattress. He waited for you to get comfortable before climbing in behind you, pulling a wool blanket over both of your bodies. He pulled your back against his chest and draped his arm around you, his hand subconsciously—instinctively—resting on your stomach. His lips found the delicate spot behind your ear and he pressed his lips gently against it, sending a small shiver up your spine.
“Joel?”
“Hm?” He mumbled into your ear. He was already falling asleep.
They were right there, right on the tip of your tongue, those three words that you had been aching to say to him for years.
I love you.
“Nevermind.” You sighed softly. “Goodnight.” 
“Mm, g’night,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose into your neck before allowing his sleep to consume him.
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wosoamazing · 3 months
Text
Against All Odds
Summary: You find yourself with a career ending injury, but Beth and Viv, your guardians and Leah are there for you. Based on this request.
Warnings: Death (mentions of fact Rs parents are dead), allusions to cancer, very bad knee injury, hospitals, paramedics, passing out, one section contains talks of Leah’s endometriosis, a bit sad -> Let me know if there is anything else.
A/N: I really liked this when I first wrote it, but I don't know anymore, maybe just because I hate editing so I was projecting my feelings about editing onto my fic. But anyway I hope you like it.
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You were part of the AWFC and the Lionesses, however football wasn’t the only sport you played in at a professional level, you were also a Track and Field athlete, you were a youth world champion, but not many people knew, the Soccer seemed to outshine the Athletics, so no one found out. It was getting close to the stage of having a discussion with the British Olympic Association about whether you were going to do both Football and Athletics at the olympics or whether you could only do one, and if you could only do one whether you got to make the choice or if they did. But that conversation was no longer needed. Team GB wasn’t going to be at the Olympics for Women’s Football so you only had one choice, and that was Athletics, however there wasn't really the question of whether you would qualify or not. It was a certainty now that you were going to the Olympics, considering the fact you were running sub 10.6 for 100 metres. You actually qualified for the 2020 Olympics but you were only 13, so it was decided you weren't going, even though you were faster than some of the athletes you were just too young.
You were one stride away from the finish line, you had done it, shown that even despite your age you deserved to be at the olympics, that last stride would cause you to have run sub 10.7 at the qualifiers, which was a good time, since you hadn’t trained in 6 months, due to the World Cup and England Olympic qualifiers. However that last stride went wrong, you still made it across the finish line, but something went badly wrong, a shooting tearing splitting pain went through your knee as your body collapsed onto the ground, tears were streaming out of your eyes, your surrounds were a haze, heaps and heaps of bright yellow people surround you, they were paramedics you think, they were asking you questions, but it hurt too much to process anything. Your brain was also preoccupied with the fact that you would most likely not be going to the Olympics this year, or maybe even never. You weren't dumb, you couldn't actually process what the paramedics were saying, nor had you seen your knee, but there was no way this was a simple injury, your knee felt like it had exploded, a bomb had gone off, this was a big injury, if the pain causing you to be on the verge of passing out wasn't enough to tell you this, the immediate arrival of like 10 paramedics was definitely enough to tell you something really bad had happened. Your world was literally crumbling around you, you needed football and track, you didn’t want to face the fact that you might never get to be a pro again. You thought you heard someone say something about moving you onto a stretcher and to the ambulance before you passed out.
_____
“Viv, has she sent you a message? She isn’t replying to any of mine, she should be here by now.”
“Maybe it's just run over time and so she is still racing.” Viv replied, trying to comfort Beth.
Beth and Viv were two of the three teammates who knew about your athletics. You couldn't really keep it from them, considering you did live with them, the trophies, the photos, the ‘shrines’ you had. Leah also knew, as you went to the same school and due to the schools sport buddy system she was your sport buddy, you messaged her almost daily since you were 10 and looked up to her so much, she was an inspiration to you. However, Leah never realised how much you actually did idolise her until she saw said ‘shrines’ when she came into your room the day you were setting it up, to give you a present. She looked around the room, above your desk she saw your Mum’s last olympic Jersey framed, with photos of you and her at the track surrounding it in a heart shape. There was also a single photo in the middle of the heart of you and her, you were holding a massive trophy and a huge grin was plastered on your face, but she couldn't help but notice how weak your Mum looked she was in a wheelchair, then it clicked that was the last time your Mum saw you run. You had just won your first junior athletics championships, in that photo, it was a week before your Mum died. Leah knew that because you told her one day, when she asked you which sport you would choose, you said you would forever do both. She then saw the photo from your Dad’s military honour funeral, along with his cap hung next to it, above your dresser which was placed just next to your desk, another heart surrounded it, but this time it was photos of him and his platoon wearing their Y/L/N bibs watching your races at the championships while they were deployed, a photo of him in rehab, kicking a ball to you after he lost his leg and was learning how to use to prosthetic one so he could go back to duty, the photo of your Dad’s platoon surprising you at on of your competitions just after you Dad had died on duty was also there. Between the two hearts was a family of the three of you, you were only small, it hurt her to think that was most likely one of the last family photos you had, you were just so young. She then turned to see what the third ‘shrine’ you were in the middle of making was. She saw you placing framed letters, certificates, medals, and photos in a heart shape around yet another item and photo of someone who helped you massively and inspired you, expect this time she felt her heart grow warm, it was her england debut shirt, she had signed and gifted to you, along with a photo of you mid jump into her arms, after the 2020 Euros Final, celebrating her win with her. You saw your so called shrines your three lifes, your Athletics life which was inspired by your Mum, your everyday life which you attributed to your Dad, and your Football life which was inspired by Leah.
There was also another reason Beth and Viv knew about the athletics and that was because you had no other family, and someone had to sign permission slips, and when you moved in with Beth and Viv and they become your legal guardians according to the state, meaning that they were the ones now required to sign permission slips, so they knew everything.
“Viv, I’m going to go call her,” “Okay,” Viv said as she saw Leah walking towards her.
“How did she go?” Leah asked Viv, “We don’t know she hasn't replied to us.” Viv said as Beth started walking back over.
“She wont answer,” “Shit” the next three minutes Beth and Viv continuously called you.
“Beth we need to go now,” “What why,” “She got hurt badly, she is in surgery currently,” “Why didn’t they call us, to get consent for surgery. Shit, it's bad, let's go.”
They rushed off from training, and drove as fast as possible to the hospital. Leah stayed to inform Jonas and finish training before she quickly found herself, driving to the hospital, knee bouncing, hoping you were semi okay.
_____
When you woke up from surgery Beth and Viv were either side of you, holding your hands in theirs. A doctor walked in shortly after you woke up, to update you on your condition.
“Split Patella. Torn MCL and meniscus, partially torn LCL. Patella ligament was torn slightly in half vertically due to the separation of the Patella. Pins in the patella, sutures in the LCL and Patella ligament, meniscus was cleaned and sutured. In the end we went with a graft to fix the MCL in hopes to have a better recovery. No one actually can figure out how it happened, but it’s lucky your didn't tear your ACL or PCL.”
“Yeah but everything else is torn or split, would prefer just an ACL”
“Sorry about that, she comes with a bit of an attitude,” Beth said, as Viv glared at you, you just glared back, you were right after all, he was making it seem like nothing, when literally everything was stuffed.
He just dismissed it and continued “You’ll be lucky to walk normally again, let alone run or play football again. And even if you do somehow ever get back to running or playing football it will never be anywhere near the professional level.”
“I want a new doctor please,” You said to him blankly
“Hey, that's not very nice” “Yeah well I’ve seen what happens when doctors don’t have hope. I don’t want this halfwit in charge of my recovery, if it was up to him he would probably just put me in a wheelchair and be done with it. People come back from injuries that seem impossible to come back from. People lose limbs and still go back to war, it’s not impossible, as long as you’re not lazy. Just someone get me a new doctor. And you can go, I can’t believe you even got to operate on me.” He scoffed and walked out. You were fuming, your breath increased, your face turned into game mode and your nostrils started to flare, Beth and Viv knew that had to do something, so they tried to comfort you.
“Hey it's okay” Beth said as she rubbed her thumb on the back of the hand she was holding. You turned to her and glared at her before yelling at her. “No its fucking not, this isn’t okay, nothing about this is okay or fair or fine. Just leave, I want to be alone.” They both slightly jumped before quickly getting up and leaving. You felt your response was a bit harsh, but it was nothing compared to how you were actually feeling in this moment.
After 5 minutes the door slid open and a body slinked into the room, and sat on a chair near the end of your bed. It was Leah. She just smiled at you before she looked down at her phone. You felt a small tear roll down your cheek, the first one since your surgery, you quickly wiped it away and sniffled, however that caught the attention of Leah, and soon your single tear turned into more tears. She didn’t say anything, you didn't know if that was because she didn't know what to say, or if it was because she knew nothing she said would help. She did however get up out of her seat and walk towards your bed. You tried to shuffle over but your leg was holding you in place, you looked at her longingly. She looked at your knee and back to you, checking if thats what was the problem, you nodded. So she ever so carefully shifted your leg as you moved and then climbed onto the bed. You immediately moved closer to her, so that you were almost on top of her, and just melted into her comfort, as she held you tight.
After a while Beth and Viv walked in. “I’m sorry” you mumbled, feeling bad for pushing them away.
“It’s okay, you’re in a lot of pain both physically and emotionally, but we want you to know we are going to be here for you every step of the way. Okay.” you nodded, Viv sat down in the chair and beth sat down in her lap.
_____
When the fourth new doctor of the day entered the room, you jumped the gun, speaking before he could speak. “If you’re going to tell me I’m never going to play again or if you are a phycologist or some shit you can go, I don't want to hear it. Untill this hospital can find me someone who isnt a fucking sissy I won’t talk to any of you, and if they cant I’ll go somewhere else, another country if I have to.”
He sat down on the ‘doctor’ stool before wheeling himself on the chair closer to your bed, he leant forward slightly, and looked you directly in the eyes before he started speaking. “Well, I’m here to tell you that my team and I can get you back to playing pro. I’m not going to lie, its not going to be easy, its going to be fucking hard, harder than anything that has ever happened to you, everything combined. But we have done some research on you and had some conversations to people and we believe you can do this, we believe you are the right type of person, that you have the right support system and most of all have the determination, to not only now prove that dumb doctor wrong, but to show the universe that you won't break, nothing they throw at you, will cause you to break. So what do you say?”
You nodded slowly, looking at him before looking at Beth and Viv, almost seeking permission or maybe just reassurance, they both smiled and nodded at you, Leah squeezed your upper arm with the hand she had wrapped around your shoulders. You turn back to the doctor.
“I think like you,” “so is that a yes” “yes”
_____
He wasnt wrong, this was fucking hard, you were in agony, your face was scrunched up as tears streamed down from the first minute of rehab. You were told that you could stop if you needed to, but you weren't going to, you wanted to keep going, you needed to keep going, you needed to get back to playing.
Beth had been watching your first intensive rehab session from the window along with Viv and Leah. 10 minutes into the session she couldn't bear to watch, she walked away from the window before she broke down, she couldn't bear to see you in such agony. She was second guessing her choices, maybe you were pushing yourself too far, maybe they shouldn’t have signed the consent forms, after all you were only 15. Viv and Leah followed her, Viv wrapped her arms around her and tried to comfort her. 
“Maybe we take away the consent forms, she shouldn't be doing this.” Beth said, as she started to calm down slightly.
“No you fucking wont. She needs this, you may not entirely understand but she does, this is her absolute world. You don't get it.” Leah snapped back at her.
“Oh. So I don't understand what it's like to have a serious injury that takes you away from the thing you like doing, and I don't understand what it's like to lose a parent.”
“That's not what I mean Beth, and you know that.”
“Oh so what do you mean then.” Beth replied snarkily.
“You don’t understand the uncertainty of whether you will get to play or not, you knew you were going to come back, she doesn’t, she won't ever know until she gets there. You don't get what it means to know you are going to miss out on something that is 100% a given, well something that was 100% a given. She said to me when she was 10, that she was going to win an olympic record for her Mum, and that is something that was almost guaranteed to happen this year, she was going to become the youngest person to hold an 100 metre olympic record for her Mum and now she might never win an olympic record let alone go to an olympics. I was going to captain my country in a world cup that we had a very good chance at winning and that was taken away from me, that certainty, the thing that shows who we are and what we have strove for just gets taken away from us. And yes you did miss out on the world cup too beth, but this is different. Your injury meant something different with your Mum too. Your injury gave you time with your Mum. Her injury is taking her away from her Mum.”
Beth just nodded at Leah, not knowing what to reply, Leah was right, but it didn't make seeing you like that any better. Leah walked away and opened the door, joining you in rehab, she sat on the side of your good leg, speaking encouraging words to you the whole. Which admittedly did help.
_____
Beth and Viv came to some of your rehab sessions, but they struggled watching, they couldn't deal with they were the reason you were in pain, it's what you wanted to do, but if they didn't sign the consent forms you wouldn't be in this much pain, but they knew deep down this is what was best.
Leah was there for you every rehab session she could be, she was in a different position, she understood how Beth and Viv felt and would feel the same if she was in that position, but she wasn’t. She felt differently about this because she was in that position and so she was determined to be your constant through this. She was so insistent on that, that when she had an endo flare-up really bad you had to instruct her to stay home, she tried using the excuse that because you were in pain and still doing rehab she should too, you told her that was dumb, and you had to be in pain to get better, she needed to rest to get better. The main reason was that the past few days you had started working on walking without assistance, and if you passed the tests today you would be able to, well more like strongly encouraged too, walk without assistance in small intervals, it would only be max 30 mins a day in total currently but it was something. But you didn't want Leah to know this. You wanted to surprise everyone.
You did exactly that in their next training session.
“Are you sure about this?” Viv asked you concerned
“Yes, are they all in there?” you replied.
“Yeah Jonas said we had a meeting to be there by 8:10, we messaged and said sorry we will be 5 minutes late.” Beth replied and you nodded
You crutched your way into the centre and gave Viv your crutches just as you neared the dining room entrance, Beth went ahead of you as you walked, albeit very slowly, behind her into the dining room. All heads turned to you, no one expected you to be there, you hadn’t had a day off from rehab since you started, and as you were doing external rehab you hadn’t seen much of the girls.
“Oh we thought you were Jonas, do you know where he is?” Kim asked.
“Yeah he is just behind u-” “Wait Viv, why are you holding crutches that are definitely not your size” Steph asked.
“Holy fuck kid, you’re walking,” Katie said when she finally realised that you were walking, once everyone realised that you got your crutches back from Viv, standing without your crutches was painful, everyone came up and hugged you and congratulated you, except for one person, the one person that you really wanted to surprise. You continued looking around the room thinking you just missed her or something but your search was interrupted by a hand on your shoulder, “She isn't in here kid, she is with the medics. I can take you to visit her if you want.” Lia whispered in your ear, you nodded your head.
“Beth, Viv, I’m just going to take Y/N/N to see Leah,” Lia told them, they nodded their heads.
“Leah, I have someone who would like to see you,” Leah chimed through the door, 
“What Lia, you can't say that about yourself,” “No, it's not me who would like to see you, it’s someone else” and with that Lia opened the door for you and you walked into the room cautiously, Lia followed behind you holding your crutches.
“OMG Y/N/N you're walking” you just grinned and nodded at her, she went to reach out to you for a hug but before she could she winced in pain and retracted into a ball. 
“Le, I think you need to go home, I told you, you shouldn’t have come today,” Lia said as she walked to her side, placing a hand on her shoulder. 
“Can Y/N come?” Leah asked timidly, “I’ll check with Beth and Viv first but yes.” Both you and Leah perked up at that
You entered the house a while after Lia and Leah, considering you had to get up the stairs which wasn’t the easiest task to do with crutches, but you managed it. You walked into the living room, and saw a photo, a photo you had hanging on your wall, it was bigger on this wall though, and sat next to what you could only assume was Leah’s Euro Final Jersey framed and her medal. You thought that it was sweet she had hung that photo of you up. You decided to sit on the couch and wait for Lia or Leah to come back out and talk to you, however you quickly fell asleep. You had basically been sleeping, eating or rehabbing since your injury so it wasnt out of the ordinary. Lia came out to check on you but found you asleep, so she decided to leave you asleep.
_____
You were lying in your bed, when Beth and Viv returned from their game, you were now getting a day off rehab every week, to slightly allow your body to rest. You had begged your rehab team to let you go to the game, but they said no, but they did mention maybe next week, so you were determined for that to happen. But currently you were in your bed tearing up at the thought of playing football, you were so determined to just get back you had forgotten about why you wanted to get back to it so much, the family feeling, the feeling once you scored a goal, the feeling of winning with some of the closest people in your life, the feeling of being free, having nothing else on your mind other than the game. You were in sobs by the time Beth and Viv had opened your door.
“Oh Baby, what’s wrong?” Beth asked as she went to sit beside you on the bed. 
“I-I’m s-so-sorry,” you cried out, Beth pulled you into her side, wrapping her arms around you, you buried your head in her chest. Viv walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in next to you, before she started to rub your back.
“There is nothing to be sorry about, it's okay to cry, what you’re going through isn’t something small, and isn’t something easy.” Beth reassured you.
“No. I’m sorry for yelling at you the first day in the hospital, and for being mean to you both when you’re just trying to help me, and that you have to look after me.”
“It’s okay, we’re here for you Kleintje, this injury hasn’t been easy and won’t be, so if you need to get mad at us sometimes that is okay. And we will always look after you, we love you, we wouldn’t want to do anything else than help you when you’re sick or injured.” Viv replied.
“But you shouldn’t have to look after me, it's not your fault I dont have parents.” Beth was surprised it took this long for the emotions of your parents not being able to look after you to hit, she felt it while she was recovering from her ACL and she didn’t have her Mum. The date also hadn’t slipped her mind for the entire day. She felt as though this conversation, this set of emotions, would be something you would prefer to have with just Beth, someone who understood in what you felt, she was older so it was easier on her in some way, but it doesn't make it hurt any less, it just meant she understood what was happening to her Mum where you didn’t. She looked up to Viv, and gave her a soft, sad, warm smile. Viv picked up on what Beth was silently communicating. Beth had a small tear roll down her face before she looked up at the roof, Viv wiped the tear away and kissed her quickly before she got up and headed to the door.
“I’m just going to have a shower, let me know if you need anything.” Viv said, she really didn;t want to leave you two but knew she needed to.
“Thank you,” you mumbled before she shut the door, she knew that it wasn't just for helping you, but for leaving, even though it went against everything in her being.
“I-I’m sorry,” “It’s okay Vivy understands. Can you sit up for me quickly?” You did as Beth said, she sat more upright resting her back against the pillows on the headboard, before pulling you onto her lap, you sat parallel to the headboard leaning your side into her, resting your head against her shoulder. You pulled your good leg into a ball, trying to feel safe. Beth wrapped her arms around you tightly, and started slightly rocking side to side. She kissed your forehead before she started talking again. 
“Y/N, it's okay to be upset, every date is just as important as the other. Today means something, every date means something. Today marks the start, and that’s just as important as the end.”
“It’s hard Beth.”
“I know it is, but you’ve got this, I’m here with you, I’m here for you, I understand, you never have to explain anything to me, I get it, but just know that she loves you, and she would be incredibly proud of you.” You felt a drop of water hit your shoulder, Beth was crying now too.
“I-I love y-you, th-thank you.” She nodded, you knew she wouldn’t be able to talk, you were struggling to talk, your tears choking back your words. She unwrapped the arm that was in front of you and you saw her moving her hand towards yours, you quickly grabbed it and held onto it tightly. You sat there soaking up Beth’s comfort, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
_____
Commonwealth Games 2026
“We’re here trackside with Y/F/N Y/L/N who at just 17 years old has broken 4 records today, 3 officially and one unofficially. She has just finished her first competitive 100m back since her career ending injury, with an absolutely insane time of 10.45. Giving her a second gold medal of the day.”
“An absolute masterclass out there Y/N/N, how do you feel?”
“Honestly amazing. On a high. I-I can’t believe it. Let alone find the words to express it” you said puffing.
“How’s the knee feeling? Recovery mustn’t have been easy.”
“Yeah no, the knee is feeling great, recovery was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I had some fantastic people surrounding me and helping me and guiding me through it all. And I just wanted to give a massive thank you to Tim and his team. Without their belief, fantastic skill set and unbelievable knowledge I probably wouldn't even be here competing today, let alone standing here with a gold medal. But also to all my teammates, and to my parents who made me who I am, I love you both.”
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inuyashaluver · 4 months
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any more niamh charles coming 🥺🥺🥺
coffee shop - niamh charles
niamh charles x reader
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description: in which a pretty girl comes into your work everyday, are discounts and little notes on her cup considered flirting?
warnings: fluffyyyyy, let’s pretend covid isn’t a thing x
a/n: niamhy baby! i love her, thank you for the request, my love, enjoy!! ❤️ i really don’t know how to feel about this but it’s 2am and I’m delirious so we persevere!
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
when you and your girlfriend, niamh first laid eyes on each other, you both knew it was a forever kind of thing.
you both didn’t really believe in love at first sight until you both came into one another’s life, proving you and niamh to believe the statement wholeheartedly.
it all started in 2020 when niamh was signed to chelsea and moved to london. you at the time were studying law as well as working in a local coffee shop near your flat that niamh wandered into one day and took your breath away.
you were doing a morning shift alone, you’d often do the opening shifts for your boss by yourself because she absolutely adored you, you were also extremely good at your job and she trusted you completely.
you were cleaning the coffee machine and refilling the grounds when you heard the little bell on the door ring. “hi, excuse me?” a soft voice sounded from behind the counter. you turn to face one of the most beautiful girls you’ve ever seen, your breath hitching when you made eye contact.
the girl in front of you also gave you a surprised expression, she thought you were absolutely gorgeous. “hi” you breathe out, moving closer to the counter.
“can i get you anything?” you say shyly, the girl nods and smiles at you, “yeah! could i just get an iced latte to go please?” you nod and put the order into the system, letting out a little laugh.
she raises her eyebrows expectantly at you and you smile, “sorry, it’s just that it’s absolutely freezing and you get an iced drink” you giggle, the girl laughs along with you.
“yeah, i know it’s stupid” she laughs, you shake your head amusingly and retrieve a cup, “it’s not stupid, it’s interesting” you shrug.
the girl smiles brightly at you before you look up at her again, “name?” she looks at you with slight surprise, “sorry?” she utters, “for your coffee” you giggle, niamh exhales quickly at feeling slightly stupid before smiling at you again.
“ah, niamh” she grins, you smile brightly at her and write her name on the cup, moving to prepare the coffee as niamh stares at you in confusion.
“sorry, how much was it?” niamh questions, you wave her off with your hand, “no, it’s on the house, you’re my first customer” you wink (complete lie)
niamh immediately protests until you give her a stern expression and she stops, shaking her head at you and standing near the counter.
“chelsea supporter then?” you grin, making a espresso shot as you look at niamh, she looks down and realises that she’s in her training kit, you distracted her completely.
“something like that, yeah, i play for them” niamh smiles sheepishly, you offer her an impressed grin, “wow, niamh, might need an autograph for the wall” you say cheekily, making niamh laugh brightly.
you both small talk while you finish up making her coffee, you both have identical disappointed smiles as you pass her the coffee. “well thank you” her eyes narrow on your name tag, “(y/n), i really appreciate it” niamh grins, you nod with a smile and give her a little wave goodbye as she leaves.
your eyes follow her every move as she leaves the shop, sighing when she leaves out the door.
niamh takes a sip of her coffee and her eyes widen comically, she swears it’s the best coffee she’s had in her life, she looks down at the cup and sees that you’ve written a little note on the cup.
‘famous niamh! have a good day! :)’ she smiles down at the cup, the smile carrying into training and gaining some curious gazes as to why she was treasuring a cup of ice coffee.
you both thought about each other the whole day, hoping you’d cross paths again - unaware niamh made a promise to herself that she’d go to the coffee shop every morning and you made an effort to take every morning shift possible.
the next day, the morning shift was just locals in the cafe, you’d served everyone so you always used the down time at work to study, much to the encouragement of your boss. your textbooks would be sprawled out on the side of the counter to go back to whenever you had the chance.
you were currently highlighting some important passages in your law textbook when you hear the familiar bell of the door, looking up to see a smiling niamh waving to you.
she made you so nervous and she didn’t even know it. in reality, niamh had been hyping herself up for five minutes to even enter the coffee shop.
“niamh!” you say brightly, placing down the highlighter and standing behind the calendar. “busy?” she grins, pointing at the textbook next to you, you glance at it quickly and sigh, “yes, it’s kicking my ass” you laugh, she laughs sympathetically,
“what are you studying?” niamh questions, “law” you exhale, niamh gives you an impressed expression, both of you getting deja vu from the previous day.
“maybe i’m the one who needs your autograph” niamh quips, making you both giggle with each other, “hm maybe if you’re lucky” you grin, taking niamh’s order again. she forces you to let her pay and you give her a large discount, throwing in a little cookie with a cheeky grin.
she groans when she sees the card machine, clearly way less than the actual total, she narrows her eyes at you and you shrug, “pretty girl discount” niamh tenses at your words and her cheeks are slightly blushed. your own cheeks are pink as you make her coffee, changing the subject and small talking with her again.
you both had so much in common it was honestly crazy, everytime the one of you mentioned something, the other would gasp excitedly and talk about it passionately.
the grins and giggles said everything and more, you both really liked each other. when niamh leaves, she looks down at her cup again, laughing brightly at the note you’ve left on her cup.
‘to my dearest fan, niamh, here’s my autograph, don’t sell it! have a lovely day xx’ you left a little signature under it and niamh cheeks hurt from the smile adorning her features. the little ‘xx’ you left had her heart beating rapidly and her cheeks pink, she couldn’t wait to come back the next day.
you glanced at the clock nervously while you waited for niamh the next day, it was five minutes later than she usually comes in the morning. you huff while flipping through your notes and you swear you got whiplash when you heard the bell ring, looking up in relief to see niamh and her bright smile. “you’re late” you tease, she slaked her head and makes her way over to you.
“hello, (y/n)” she sings out, you smile happily at her and grab a cup in your hand. “hi, niamh” you mock her tone, “the usual?” you question, she nods enthusiastically and begins to rave over you,
“no joke, you make the best coffee ever and i’m not even exaggerating” you smile shyly at her, attempting to wave it off but she won’t relent.
“why do you think i keep coming back?” niamh jokes, you roll your eyes with a laugh, “for me?” you cock your head to the side with a teasing smile and niamh feels her heart clench, you were so cute.
“well yeah but also for your coffee” she scoffs, your cheeks burn and you make yourself busy with her coffee, chatting excitedly with each other about anything and everything. again, giving a hefty discount on her coffee making her scowl at you when she taps her card.
when you hand her the coffee, she’s about to do her regular goodbye but she stops herself suddenly. “could i get your number?” she asks nervously, you smile brightly and nod, taking out your phone and exchanging numbers with each other.
she looks at her coffee cup again when she exits with a grin, ‘niamhy! have a lovely lovely day, enjoy your pretty girl coffee with your pretty girl discount xx’ niamh snaps a selfie of her with the coffee and sends it to you, starting an endless texting cycle between the two of you.
you would text for hours and hours, sending each other random photos throughout your days. you both loved it.
after about two weeks of you and niamh chatting and seeing each other everyday, you decide to take the first move this time and write something a little different on her cup this time.
before she leaves, you ask her to read the cup in front of you while you hand it to her. she grins at you brightly, ‘niamhy! can we go on a date please? xx p.s, have a lovely day!’ she looks up at you bashfully and nods, you smile and move around the counter to give her a hug.
you and niamh have a long embrace of you two just hugging, feeling so comforting and familiar as you held each other.
niamh kisses your cheek quickly before she leaves and you feel like your legs are going to give out from under you. niamh bolts out of the shop and lets out a silent scream in her car while she thinks about the interaction.
you went on your date and began dating shortly after about 4 dates. and after about a year, you and niamh moved in with each other and it was the best thing to happen to the both of you.
you genuinely were infatuated with each other, willing to do anything for one another without a second thought.
you’ve now been dating for 3 years and it was just full of genuine love. you were now niamh’s personal barista, the coffee shop job left behind as you were now practising as a lawyer, getting a job at a big company that had niamh bragging and boasting about every second she got.
she had a match and you were able to come, clad in your ‘charles’ jersey with a bright grin and a coffee in hand as you watch. chelsea wins and niamh immediately makes her way over to you, you smile as she approaches and you open your arms to her with a bright grin.
“hello, beautiful” you grin, your arms wrapping around her shoulders as hers held your waist. “hi, baby” she says adoringly, kissing your cheek repeatedly before pulling away to face you.
you hold the coffee in front of her and she gasps in excitement, pulling you into a quick kiss before taking the cup from you.
“my pretty girl and her amazing coffee, who cares about the win” she mocks, you laugh at her and kiss her cheek sweetly. “meet me at the back?” she asks softly, you nod and wave her off, making your way to your shared car.
niamh watches you leave before she looks down at the cup, a heart shaped sticky note taped on the reusable cup, ‘niamhy baby! congrats on the win, my love, you’re amazing and i love you x’
she grins brightly and takes off the note, hanging it up in her cubby to give her motivation. she gives you a big kiss when she makes it to the car, both of you looking at each other full of affection before she drives off.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
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liked by _jessflem and 44,232 others
niamhcharles17: hot lawyers make the best coffee
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yourname: i knew you only wanted me for the coffee
↳ niamhcharles17: no, baby! it’s just a bonus
↳ yourname: hm sureeeeee
↳ niamhcharles17: no it’s true!
↳ niamhcharles17: don’t forget you made the first move, babe
↳ yourname: my notes are just irresistible
↳ niamhcharles17: indeed
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livingformintyoongi · 1 month
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Misunderstanding | Kim Taehyung
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a/n: I'm so bad with titles lol. At least you get the idea a bit :). In one part it is mentioned that Y/N is not a public figure like Taehyung, even though she is a chaebol. This is because her family is somewhat like that of Samsung's owners, they keep their children's identities secret until they make their own place in the company.
Summary: It's basically your reaction to hearing about the dating rumours between Taehyung and Jennie while the two of you are still in a relationship. And obviously, he is trying to fix things as quickly as possible.
wc: 2.9k (I didn't think it would be so long honestly).
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When you started dating Taehyung, you never thought it would be a big problem. You knew that his schedule was complicated, but you didn't have any drama with that because yours was pretty much the same. You also knew that you wouldn't be a public couple because of the criticism you might get, but that was even better for you because you didn't like being in the public eye either. Problems on tour? Phones were there for a reason, not being able to have children? You were too young, can’t go out in public? Loved the cozy, private dates, little quality time together? Even better! Every moment with him would feel even more special because of how exclusive it was. Yes, you were willing to accept all these disadvantages because you never saw them as an insurmountable problem. At least until now.
You and Taehyung started dating in 2020, during the pandemic. You met him at the concert in cooperation with Lotte Duty Free, one of the companies your father founded, because yes, you were the youngest daughter of the Shin, the family in charge of the Lotte company and all its subsidiaries.
The two of you got along very well while preparing for the concert, so you decided to exchange numbers to keep in touch. It only took a few months before you started dating him officially, and you were very happy at first. 
His schedule was busy, of course, but he had time for you. He would greet you with a big smile, hug you from behind, and take you to the dining room where he had a whole show set up for you. Jazz in the background, scented candles, rose petals everywhere, and two plates of food of dubious origin that you would enjoy anyway because your boyfriend made it. 
You were willing to put up with all those cons if he gave you moments like this every chance he got, moments where it was just you and him. 
Once the pandemic was over and your schedule returned to normal, things got complicated.
And no, time, work, dating, none of that was the problem, because it didn't even have anything to do with you two as a couple.The problems were caused by a third person. Kim Jennie, one of the members of Blackpink and one of the most beautiful women you will ever meet.
You never had any problems with her. You had bumped into her once or twice in the hallway on your way backstage, but obviously she wouldn't recognize you, you were always covered from head to toe.You thought that your friend had the same relationship with her, something casual that couldn't even be called a friendship because you barely said hello to each other when you were together, in fact Taehyung never looked at anyone when he was with you.So why did this happen now?
Your boyfriend was on tour and it was the time of his concert, so you couldn't just call him and ask him about it. You looked at the screen of your cell phone for the sixth time, the headline in big, dark letters seemed to mock your feelings.
"Dispatch confirms, V of BTS and Jennie of Blackpink are in a relationship," you muttered to yourself, trying to get your brain to catch the words, to process them, to react. It didn't.
You scrolled down the page until you stopped at the myriad of photos they had as proof. None of them looked doctored. 
You saw the blue short-sleeved shirt with flowers that Taehyung was wearing in the photo and put your phone down to go to the closet you shared. You pulled out all of his clothes until you found it. You grabbed it and crumpled it in your hands. 
Only then did you burst into tears. You covered your eyes with your shirt and screamed until you felt your throat couldn't take it anymore. Your heart hurt so much that you even had trouble breathing. 
You looked around the room you both shared, trying to understand why he would do this to you. You thought you were fine, everything seemed fine, so why were there hundreds of videos and pictures of your boyfriend with another girl? You felt like all these people were making fun of you by being happy for them. What about you, why don't they think about his real girlfriend who had to put up with years of being locked away in secret while these two were fearlessly dating?
The sadness soon turned to anger, and it wasn't long before you got up and grabbed the biggest suitcase you could find, whether it was his or yours.
You stuffed it with as many clothes as you could, taking your time because you knew he wasn't coming. You lifted the suitcase as high as you could and carried it into the living room. You looked at every single picture of the two of you as a couple. Another few tears fell from your eyes and you let them out as you took the frames and threw them away. 
You threw out everything you could. Mugs, matching pajamas, pictures, rings, absolutely everything. When you were done, your eyes were dry and your head hurt too much, but you didn't care. You grabbed your suitcase and headed for the door.
The only thing that stopped you from leaving was Yeontan, who stood in the doorway, staring at you while wagging his tail from side to side.
"Tannie, mommy has to go do something, okay?" you nuzzled behind his ear and sobbed softly. You knew he wouldn't understand. "Don't worry, I'll visit you every day until your owner comes."
You stood up, took a breath, and walked away. You didn't know where you were going, but that apartment was no longer an option. 
You stood in front of the buildings where you lived and watched for taxis to pass by. Just then you received a phone call. For a moment you thought it would be Taehyung, but no, it was just Jimin's girlfriend, Soyeon, to whom you had become very close over the past years.
"Yes?" you mumbled hoarsely.
"Honey, it's me, Soyeonie," she said in a much calmer voice than usual. She was probably aware of your situation. "I read the news, are you okay?" You opened your mouth to reply, but she interrupted you so quickly that you didn't have time to say anything, "Of course you're not," she sighed, remaining silent for a few seconds, "Look, I know maybe I shouldn't pry, but I understand that you're hurting and the last thing you want is to be in a place full of... him."
You sob softly, wiping your cheeks as quickly as the first tears came.
"I haven't sold my old apartment yet, it has some furniture, enough to live decently, why don't you stay there for a few weeks?"
"Soyeon-ah," you cried, wanting to hug her until you fell asleep. That's what you needed, a long nap.
"Relax, everything’s gonna be okay, Unnie will come and see you there, I'll send you the address, just wait."
"Okay," you nodded, even though you knew she couldn't see you, "thanks."
"It's nothing."
And she hung up.
You looked around. It was full of cars and buildings that looked too big. 
You felt so stupid as you mentally wished that Taehyung was here to comfort you.
You saw a taxi coming your way and you made it stop. You weren't sure if this would be the end of your relationship, you were willing to hear his side, but you weren't willing to have to live with him or a place filled with his presence.
This was best for you.
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Taehyung called you the next day, about twenty times, not counting messages. You didn't answer any of them, mostly because you were asleep until 4 pm. You had a hard time falling asleep. Every time you closed your eyes, you could see the two of them holding hands, together in the car, on a date to some kind of zoo. You cried every time your brain projected those images.
Your phone rang for the 21st time. You were still a little groggy from sleep, but you answered it anyway.
"Y/N!" You turned the phone away from your ear. It was too painful to hear his voice so loud with the headache you were feeling, "Oh God, I was so afraid something bad had happened to you. I called the girls, but none of them knew anything about you, so I got worried and..."
"Why did you call me?" you asked curtly. You thought maybe you were being a little cruel, but you didn't care. Answering him like that wouldn't make him feel a thousandth of the pain you felt and still feel since last night.
He was silent for a few seconds. You'd never answered him like that before, you guessed that's why he was so quiet.
"I..." he cleared his throat, sounding a little more tense than when you answered him, "I was a little worried, my manager told me about the news and I thought maybe you were feeling a little depressed-".
You interrupted him again, but this time with a mocking laugh, "A little depressed? Is that how you think I felt? A little depressed?" you laughed again. You had completely woken up this time, "Tell me, Kim, how would you feel if overnight it was all over the news that I was dating an idol? Huh? What would you do if this news came to you on the fucking Dispatch, while I was on the other fucking side of the world enjoying a concert? Would you be a little depressed? A little hurt? Would you even have taken the fucking trouble to answer my calls?" you began to raise your voice with every word you said. You didn't even notice at what point your voice broke. "You have no idea what I'm going through, and you never will, because unlike you I'm not a public figure! I could be fucking any man in Korea and you're never going to see an internet media outlet post it and 'celebrate' my relationship, you're never going to see any fan of mine go on social media and celebrate my relationship with someone else while you're behind the curtains" You sobbed, wiping your cheeks awkwardly.
"Honey, I know it's-"
"Don't you dare call me like that" you growled, clenching your jaw, "I don't even want to hear you say my name, do you understand?"
"Y/N" he muttered, his voice trembling. You assumed that at some point in your verbal vomit he had started to cry, "Just give me 1 minute, I'll explain everything, I promise."
You tried to control your anger by taking a big breath of air, it worked enough to stop you from sending him to fuck off... for the second time.
"Do you want me to listen to you?" you mumble, looking down at your hands, remembering all the times he came home late, wondering if all those times he was at her house, doing god knows what while you tried to stay awake just to see him before bed. 
"Y-yes, please, I just need a minute".
"Fine," you smiled half-heartedly, "then come and explain it to me in person. If you're really sorry and say it's a misunderstanding, come here and tell me."
Your more conscientious side chided you for your request. It was his job, you couldn't just order him to make a trip from the United States to Korea just for you. Maybe that's why you gave him that condition. You knew he wouldn't come all this way just for you.
The line went silent, you could barely hear his breathing. You ended your conversation.
"I thought so," muttering much calmer than at the beginning, "I guess Soyeon was right in saying that the only one who would have to make sacrifices for our relationship would be me."
And you cut the call short.
You put your phone on airplane mode and plopped down on your bed, ready to go back to sleep for the rest of the weekend.
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It had been a day since you heard the news, barely 17 hours since you last spoke to Taehyung, because yes, you counted the hours. You hadn't eaten anything, you'd barely had a glass of water, and the only thing you felt like doing right now was taking a very long shower and then crying yourself to sleep. Yes, it sounded like the perfect plan to try to get over your ex, if that's what you could call it.
You got in the tub at 10am, didn't get out until 12:30, and when you did you could barely feel your fingers and toes. At least your muscles had finally relaxed.
You dressed more slowly than usual, in just your pajamas, the only ones that weren't your partner's, and went to bed.
Until the doorbell rang.
You changed direction, confused. You were sure that no one besides Soyeon knew you were here. It crossed your mind that maybe she was worried about you and that's why you'd decided to open up and politely turn her away.
Except she wasn't the one waiting for you on the other side.
"Y/N," Taehyung said, trying to regulate his breathing. "You really were here," he whispered, entering the flat and closing behind him. It wasn't until the door rattled that his arms wrapped around you so tightly that you almost stopped breathing. "Why did you leave home? I got so worried when I saw our stuff in the trash and the wardrobe almost empty" he cupped your cheeks, inspecting your face.
You didn't understand what exactly was going on.
"What are you doing here?" you mumbled, letting him search your face. 
"You told me to come" he looked into your eyes and, almost instantly, his eyes began to fill with tears. "I couldn't let you because a misunderstanding made you hate me to the point of breaking up with me, I... I don't want to be without you, at this point I don't think I can be," he bent down until he could place his forehead against yours, his thumbs caressing the skin of your cheeks, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, I don't plan on losing you over something stupid like this."
You looked at Taehyung, still not understanding what he was trying to say. 
"The pictures are real" he exhaled deeply, "but it's not like you think" he pulled his phone out of his trousers pocket. His hands were shaking slightly. You wanted to hold them, but you completely erased the thought, "We dated for a few months, it was a very short thing, about two or three months before we met".
He showed you some conversations from a few years ago. He was asking her to bring him the shoes he had left at her house last time, and that he would appreciate it if she would bring the leash they had bought Yeontan. You also saw the last messages they sent to each other, it was only a few days ago.
Jennie told him that someone had hacked into her phone and most likely found the pictures they took the time they went to the zoo. She apologized and sent him stickers of crying puppies, saying that the lawsuit against the hacker had already started and that she would try to speed up the process so that he wouldn't be affected. 
"I totally understand how angry you were, and obviously I also understand that you want to talk about this face-to-face, so I took the first flight I could find so I could come talk to you and-".
You didn't let him finish. You couldn't do that, not after everything you've been feeling the last few days. So you did the only thing you could think of since he came into the flat. You kissed him.
It was much more awkward than your kisses usually are, but you didn't care. You were so relieved that it was all a misunderstanding that no matter what kind of kiss it was, it would still be amazing to you.
He followed your kiss as soon as he came out of his surprise. He clung to you as if his life depended on it. He was the one who deepened the kiss and lifted you off the floor so he could kiss you better.
"I'm so sorry" you whispered in the middle of the messy kisses he was giving you, "sorry for doubting you" you sobbed softly, hugging his neck with all your strength.
He shook his head, holding your cheeks, "Don't apologise, it was a normal reaction, you said it yourself, I wouldn't have even answered your calls if I had been in your place" he kissed your shoulder softly, letting out a soft sigh. It felt so good to have you with him after all the tension he experienced during the flight.
"You were right about everything you said" he murmured, pulling away enough to look you in the eye, "so please don't apologize to me".
You nodded a little calmer, closing your eyes as you felt Taehyung's nose on yours.
"Now let's go get your things, I don't want to go back inside the house and not see your things in it."
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Masterlist.
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xoxoluka · 26 days
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Could you write one about Schlatt and (streamer)reader meeting on the sdmp?? Maybe they met before years ago like 2020 but their friendship sort of fizzled out?idk
have a nice day🧚‍♀️💝
believe it or not i haven't caught up with sdmp EEK but i will i swear; i've only watched like the first stream and then other clips on tiktok, heres what I came up with!
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jschlatt x streamer!reader headcannons
warnings: nothing crazy i don't think, schlatt's online persona
a/n: listen bro i dont really know what im talking about im doing my best, i made it headcannons because i can't write in-game content 😔
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⚜ you received an invite to a new minecraft server, one ran by the Sleep Deprived podcast members.
⚜ the last server you were in... yeah, we won't talk about that. you had left it suddenly, and no longer associate yourself and your content with specific people. a few exceptions were tommyinnit, tubbo, and technically jschlatt, although it had been a while since you actually made any content together.
⚜ when you first joined, you met so many new faces and reconnected with a few old ones. or at least tried to. schlatt wouldn't let anyone even near his property, so you couldn't really have a conversation with him without him hitting you or banning you.
⚜ you had made it a mission to yourself, and even a prediction in your twitch chat that you would get schlatt to allow you onto his very special property.
⚜ clearly, we've all seen what happens when you're too loud near his property or if you enter it without his permission. you didn't want to end up like one of them
⚜ you knew schlatt had a very pretty view over the ocean on his property, and even a tiny beach area, and you wanted in, and you also may have had a small crush on him back in the day, so you and your chat made a plan.
⚜ it started with leaving small objects in front of his fence, or putting them in a chest with a sign that said 'for schlatt.'
⚜ you would leave him flowers, some things that you had heard him asking other people for, food, coal, iron ore, anything.
⚜ you had noticed him asking around for who left it, but no one had figured that it was you, so you continued.
⚜ you started leaving larger objects, like already crafted objects, and started sending him letters.
⚜ you sent him a letter, saying 'meet me at spawn tonight. :p'
⚜ once he arrived, he was incredibly skeptical, so you gave him your proposal.
⚜ "listen, schlatt," you start. "i have a proposal. if you let me live on your land, i'll continue to supply you with all of the goods i get. what's mine is yours, if what's yours is mine."
⚜ "hm," he ponders. "i'll think about it."
⚜ he grants you small things from then on, like you're allowed to come into his property, but not yet live. you build a house fairly close to his fence, and place shared chests where you store things that you find.
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this was straight dookie my bad anon
requests still open!
© property of xoxoluka. do not repost.
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flemingsfreckles · 1 month
Text
Physio’s Daughter pt.4
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Jessie Fleming x Physio!Reader
Read the previous parts here
Warnings: a little cursing, a small bit of homophobia (it’s minor teasing by a child)
WC: 4.3k
A/N: I struggled with this part, so I do apologize for how long it took and that it’s shorter. There’s a lot of timeline jumps in this part just as a heads up. I know where the story is going to end up I’m just having a hard time making the plot to get it there.
It was Jessie’s fault your attempt at being just coworkers failed so quickly. It was only hours after you had said goodbye to her in the lobby of the training center when you received a notification on your phone.
_jessflem has requested to follow you
You smirked down at the notification. You knew she wasn’t big on social media so the follow felt intentional. You open your phone to accept her follow request and go to follow her back only to realize you already followed her. You also weren’t too keen on social media, you really didn’t have the time with school, but you found yourself in typical behavior with the other young adults your age, “stalking” Jessie’s page.
You scroll all the way to her last photo, it’s just a scenery shot. You look at it for a second before starting to scroll back up. Too frenzied with your scrolling you feel the phone vibrate in your hand slightly, the same way it vibrated if you liked a photo.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you stop your scrolling, starting to slowly scroll backward to see that you had just liked a photo from 2020. Four years ago. It was one of her smiling, holding a soccer ball in her Chelsea training kit. She looked adorable.
Jessie Fleming: Doing a bit of stalking, are we?
The sound of your text notification making you jump in your otherwise silent apartment. Before you can even open the first text you receive a second.
Jessie Fleming: Do you stalk all your coworkers, or just the ones you’ve kissed?
You: Hard to say, I haven’t kissed any other coworkers, maybe I’ll have to kiss some other ones and see if it leads to stalking.
Jessie Fleming: Fair
You leave her text without a response. You had both agreed to be professional, this seemed like it was going to maybe be the opposite of you kept texting her.
You close Instagram and move from your couch into the kitchen. You were excited for your next few days to be off days. You planned to essentially do nothing but sit, watch trashy TV and do anything to keep your mind from wandering and thinking about Jessie. Moving to the fridge you get out some ingredients to make yourself chicken and pasta, it was easy but it also counted as a home cooked dinner so you couldn’t complain.
In the middle of digging through your cabinets for spices you get a knock on your door. Skeptical of who it may be, you move to the door slowly, looking though the peep hole. There stood your Mom, not someone coming to murder you, well, you’re not too sure on that you think.
You open the door to see her standing with a bouquet of flowers and a brown paper bag tucked under her arm.
“Can I come in?” She wasn’t exactly the person you wanted to be seeing right now but she was your Mom, so you extended you hand to take the bag and let her in.
“Are you here to yell at me again, because I’ve honestly had enough over the past couple of days to last a lifetime, I don’t need any more.”
“Don’t be a smartass,” she gently smacks the top of your head. “I’m actually here to apologize. Do you think I’d bring snacks and drinks if I was here to yell at you?”
“Maybe you brought them to flaunt in my face while you yelled at me.”
Your Mom rolls her eyes at you and begins digging through the bag she brought. She gets out some candies that she knew you loved, some popcorn, a bottle of wine, and a 6 pack of beers.
“Is this your peace offering?” You ask as you grab the bag of sweets, opening it and popping one in your mouth.
“I don’t know if I’d consider it a peace offering just yet but I wanted to at least talk, I figured I could start making amends with snacks.”
“Okay.”
“Look, I’m not really sorry for what I said, I said it for a reason and I stand by what I said.” She lets out a breath. “But I am sorry for how I said it though. I treated you like a child, that was unprofessional, you’re an adult and should be treated that way at work at least. Unfortunately, I’m your mom, so you’ll always be my little girl. And in this circumstance I was frustrated with you as a mom and as a coworker.”
“Why were you frustrated with me as a mom?” You understood the coworker, but the thought of you disappointing your Mom hurt a bit, you hadn’t realized you had upset her as a daughter.
“I don’t know if frustrated is the word I guess. It’s just weird seeing your daughter being defiled against the wall by another person especially at work when it’s with her coworker who she told you nothing was happening with.” Your blush comes back and you look down at your drink before taking a large swing, not wanting to think about your Mom walking in on you and Jessie.
“How many times do I have to tell you she wasn’t defiling me, it was just a kiss.”
“I don’t really care what she was doing to you, the less I know the better.” You Mom holds her hands up stopping you. “I am sorry I made a scene in your office about it. That was inappropriate on my end.”
“Thank you.” You take another sip. The two of you stood in silence around your kitchen table. This was going to be a long night.
It was nearly an hour later, you were drinking through your fourth beers and your Mom was working through her third heavy pour of wine. You could tell you were both feeling the effects of the drinks and it was likely your Mom would be spending the night. You felt your phone buzz in your lap and you looked down to see Jessie’s name again.
Jessie Fleming: sorry if I made it weird with my text from before, I promise only to be professional from now on.
You feel yourself smiling at the text, something about the idea that she thought about you again to text you made you feel warm and fuzzy. Unfortunately, with the alcohol in your system you did a worse job at hiding your emotions than you thought.
“Ohhhhh, look at you smiling at your phone, let me guess is a certain Canadian captain texting you?” Your mom teases from the other side of the couch. Her foot giving your leg a tap.
“Mom please.” While you tried to deflect her comment it was obvious by your smile that she was right about who had texted you and she knew she was right. You didn’t want to have to sit here with your tipsy mother and her comments about you and Jessie. Thankfully she stays quiet for a few minutes with the two of you not speaking.
“This is maybe the wrong way to go about this, but I’m trying really hard to be your Mom, not your coworker, so, tell me about her? Pretend I don’t already know her, pretend you’re telling me about just a crush from school or something.”
“Mom, we don't have to do this.”
“Oh come on, indulge me, I miss it. I remember when you were a little girl and you would come home telling me about the pretty girls in your class, and then in fourth grade someone told you that you couldn’t find other girls pretty.” You cringe at that memory. Some boy had overheard you saying how you thought another little girl in your class was beautiful and he had told you it was gross for boys to think boys were cute and for girls to find girls cute. Unfortunately that little shit’s comments stuck with you through your whole life, impacting you heavily as a child.
“And so then you only ever came home talking about boys, but I could tell it wasn’t quite the same as how you felt toward the pretty girls. And then when you were 17 you came to me to tell me about the pretty girl you had a crush on and I was so proud of you and excited that that stupid boy didn’t change you. And then since you’ve moved out for school I got to hear snippets over the phone about dates but it’s not the same. So indulge me. Tell me about her as you would any other girl.”
“But you do know her, Mom.” Still hesitant to have this conversation about Jessie, it was easy when your Mom didn’t know the other person.
“Does she have a job? Does she have aspirations? Where’s she from?” She ignored your comment and starts firing off questions.
You let out a small giggle as you take another drink, your Mom was always one to interrogate you about girls you talked about, it was just funny the way she was pretending she didn’t know Jessie.
You fell into conversation with your Mom for a bit. She’d ask questions, pretending to be oblivious to the fact that you were talking about Jessie. You answered, the small trace of beer in your system making you care slightly less, also knowing that your Mom had had her fair share of wine.
You told her about your conversations with Jessie, ones from all the hours you two spent secluded in the training rooms. You told her about your mutual aspiration for travel, how you’d talked about school, she taught you what she learned as an engineer in school, you talked about her family, her family dogs, all the tiny details you could remember about Jessie.
The more you talked about her, the more you watched your mothers face change. Originally looking a little uncomfortable when you talked about Jessie but now she was grinning back at you.
“You actually like her don’t you?”
“Obviously.” You huff throwing your arms up.
“Well, I wasn’t sure if you just thought she was hot and you wanted to hookup with a professional athlete .”
“Mom!” You can feel your cheeks start to heat up.
You both fall into silence, your Mom finishing off her glass of wine and you staring at the ground thinking about everything you just said to your Mom.
“I forgot to say this earlier but I’m also sorry I accused you of lying to me.”
“It’s fine Mom, really don’t worry about it.”
Your Mom stands from the couch with a yawn. “Guest room made up by chance?” You nod at her. It wasn’t really a guest room, more of a den in your apartment that you had made an office with a bed in the corner.
Before she left to go to bed she moved over to you, placing her hands on your shoulders.
“Kiddo?” You cringe at the childhood nickname, looking up at her. “I’m not going to tell you to do anything with Jessie, but, you’re stubborn and I know you will. So just please, if you two decide to take your relationship anywhere, just be adults about it. Don’t let it affect work, don’t let it mess up her playing, don’t sneak around. If you want to be adults, act like it, tell the people who need to know.”
“We already talked, nothings going to happen.”
“I know you think that, but when the two of you see each other for almost 2 months straight, I think it’ll maybe be hard to keep it that way. I’d still advise you two to avoid each other as much as you can, keep it professional, that's the right choice in my eyes. But, unfortunately my more realist advice, wait until the Olympics are over when you’re no longer associated with the team and you’re back at school. You don’t want to be accused of the team’s downfall because Fleming is too busy staring off at her own trainer to make a decent pass.” With that she walks away from you, placing her glass in the sink and wandering to the den.
You knew most likely your Mom seemed to be okay with you and Jessie once you were no longer a trainer was just the wine talking and she’d go back to normal in the morning but for now you’d take it. You put your own bottle in the recycling and head into your bedroom. You consider texting back Jessie but decide against it as you plug your phone in and set an alarm for the next morning.
The next morning you wake up and make your way into the kitchen finding a note from your mom saying she left early, she loved you and she’d see you soon.
You grabbed a pan from the kitchen and opened the fridge to find eggs and started making yourself breakfast.
The sound of your phone ringing causes you to jump and let out a yelp, nearly dropping the egg you were cracking. Turning around you grab your phone, seeing Jessie’s name across the screen. You debate not answering, but maybe she needed you for work reasons, so you answer.
“Hello?”
“Should I be scared that your Mom tried to call me yesterday?”
You hadn’t expected that to be her first words. “She what?”
“Yeah, I didn’t answer, I was still trying to get home but she called me, no voicemail, no text, just a missed call. So I’m asking, is she still out for my head because of us?”
“There’s no us, but probably not? I don’t know. She showed up unexpectedly at my place last night to apologize for how she yelled at me.”
“That’s good, right?”
“I guess? I mean she’s still pretty upset, but she apologized for treating me unprofessionally. So maybe she wanted to apologize to you too, I’m not sure.”
“Oh.”
“She also asked about you.” There’s silence on the other end, you pull the phone back to check that the call hadn’t ended.
“Hello?” You stirred your eggs.
“Hi.” Jessie’s voice comes through clearly.
“Oh I thought you maybe hung up.”
“No.” There’s another pause. “What did she ask?”
“Everything I guess? She had maybe a few too many sips of wine.” You let out a small laugh. “She told me to talk to her about you as if she didn’t know you. It was something we used to do when I was a kid. I’d sit and tell her every detail about the boys or girls I liked.” You turn around to lean against the kitchen table.
“That’s sweet that she wanted to do that with you.”
“Yeah.” It’s now you leaving a long silence. “It could’ve been the wine talking but she was less mad I think, she even suggested we just wait until the Olympics are over to figure out what it is between us.”
You hear a sigh come through the phone. “I thought we agreed to be professional.”
“We did.”
“No offense but telling me that your Mom suggested we figure out something after the Olympics isn’t really professional at all, it’s only going to get in my head.” Her voice now sounding upset and frustrated.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry Jessie.” You’re not sure why you’re really apologizing, all you did was tell her what she wanted to know.
“It’s fine, I gotta go.” She rushes her sentence.
With that the line went dead and you stared back at your phone you could see your reflection in the black screen. The whole conversation ran through your head again. She had seemed excited that you talked to your Mom about her, but maybe you misunderstood. Jessie’s mood had taken such a sharp negative turn at the end, when you mentioned the possibility of post Olympics.
You open your texts, and start typing.
Hey, that was weird, sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just thought we were maybe still doing the friendly flirting given you brought up our kiss yesterday.
You erase the message. Locking your phone and turning back to see your eggs burnt, just starting to smoke.
“Shit shit shit.” You rushed over grabbing the pan and turning off the burner. Too frustrated first with Jessie’s confusing behavior and then with your ability to burn the easiest breakfast, you decide to grab a book and sit outside hoping you wouldn’t have to think about reality for a while.
The rest of your day was easy, you sat outside reading two whole books and also getting incredibly sunburnt in the process. The thought of sunscreen completely slipping your mind. You were able to not think about school, or your mom, or work, or Jessie, or the Canadian team at all.
The next three days played out the exact same, except with sunscreen this time. It was good, you genuinely got a break, from school, from work, and from life. It was great. Everything was going well, you had managed to not think about Jessie most of the day, until you went to bed and your phone notification popped up, reminding you of tomorrow’s responsibilities.
Calendar: Physio Team Meeting 8:00
Calendar: Meeting w/ J.Fleming 10:00
Calendar: Travel Paperwork Meeting 13:15
You had been excited to see her, that was until your weird shared phone call 3 days ago. It had been radio silence between the two of you since, you never texted her and she never reached out. Not that you expected her to, but it would’ve been nice to hear from her.
Your morning was quick, opting to just eat at the facilities instead of waking up early to make your own breakfast. You met your mom in the parking lot and the two of you walked into your first meeting together. It was general information for the upcoming schedule. The players were set to come back in 3 weeks for 5 days, the team would then travel to Paris to get settled before starting play later that week. It was going to be a busy 3 weeks before the team came back, everyone being given various tasks and responsibilities to oversee in the meantime. Yours as you had already been told was to keep Jessie in the loop with her teammates, as well as keeping up with her teammates themselves.
And that’s what you did at 10:00. You got onto your computer joining a call that was supposed to be you, Jessie, and Sarah, one of the other physio’s who was supposed to be the professionalism buffer. Unfortunately she had other things that took priority which left just you and Jessie.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“Um Sarah isn’t coming, she has some other things to take care of that we’re more important than babysitting me in this meeting.” You feel your palms sweating, wiping them on your pants.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. So we can get into it here-” you start to pull up a spreadsheet with information on each of the roster’s players. You didn’t feel like doing the small talk with her right now.
“Really quick, I wanted to apologize.” You stop messing with the document on your screen and look over to where the box with Jessie’s face was. “About that phone call, I made it weird, I think I just got a little, I don’t know, maybe overwhelmed, so I’m sorry.”
“Oh it’s fine.”
“It wasn’t fine, it wasn’t okay for me to be unprofessional when I texted you earlier and then get upset with you for doing the same.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.” It was nice that she apologized but it still didn’t provide much of an explanation as to what happened.
The rest of your meeting goes as planned, you walk through every roster member, their current status, if they’re back playing at club yet, if so how many minutes they got in matches, all the details.
“How are you? You’re the only one we haven’t gone through.”
“I’m good.”
“I need more information than that Jessie, come on.”
“I’ve been sleeping better, obviously being in my own bed not a hotel helps, I’ve been a little stressed at Portland, things just aren’t connecting there so the playing has been stressful too. But I’ve been playing full 90’ still and the calf is treating me well.”
“Thank you, I’m glad to hear about your calf.” You can’t help but smile, thinking that your work and knowledge actually helped Jessie return to playing like herself. You type in the information she tells you into your document and then save the file and close it, bringing Jessie face to fullscreen on your computer.
“Alright, I guess we’re all done here then.”
“I actually had one more thing.”
“Oh! Sorry I should’ve check if you were done. Just let me open up my file again, hang on, sorry about that.”
“No, it’s not for the file.” There’s a pause, you just look at her on the screen. She’s looking down and you’re pretty sure playing with her hands, the way she does when she’s nervous.
“Can we please be friends? I’ve been wanting to text you about books I read, or cool travel locations I’ve seen. I wanted to text you that I saw a family of deer the other day and it reminded me of you telling me about the deer in your childhood backyard. But you told me we couldn’t even be friends, so I've been respecting that. But I want to be able to tell you those things, so if there’s any way we could be friends, it can still be professional, but friendly, I’d really like that.” Her sentence is rambling and you could tell she clearly had prepared to ask you but somewhere along the lines was just saying whatever came to her head.
What caught your attention was that she thought of the small 3 sentence story you had told her days ago about your childhood backyard. The backyard where you and your mom used to watch the deer run and graze. She remembered that tiny detail that you told her. It made your heart sing that she remembered.
“We can be friends.” You say with a smile knowing in the back of your head that there would be no way you’d be able to stay just friends with the beautiful girl who was now grinning back at you.
“Yay!” It was such a sweet response, her face lighting up. “Okay I’ll see you next week, same time?”
“Yeah Jessie, thanks, I’ll see you then.” She hangs up the call. You only have a minute in your office in silence before a series of texts come in.
Jessie Fleming: since we’re friends now
Jessie Fleming: look at the deer
Jessie Fleming: 2 Images
You look at the images, one was a photo of three deer, one being a baby, all standing in tall grass, the sun a golden yellow cascading on them. The next photo was a closer shot of the fawn. The pictures looked like someone from National Geographic took them, the detail, lighting, all of it.
You: did you take those photos?
Jessie Fleming: yes
You: wow
You: maybe I’ll have to bring you along on my future travels to be the photographer
Jessie Fleming: I definitely wouldn’t mind that
That was all it took, a simple conversation and two photos of deer to start the friendship between you and Jessie. A friendship that quickly snowballed into what was flirtatious, teasing, sweet, but overall borderline inappropriate for a working relationship. But you didn’t care, it was easy. Over those next three weeks the banter and friendship with Jessie grew and grew, the late nights texting that turned into late nights on FaceTime with the older girl, it felt harmless being that you were so far away from her.
The reality of what you two had developed only set in when it was three weeks later and you were standing in the physio room as players started filing in for the first training session before traveling to Paris.
Jessie walked in, looking around before her eyes caught yours. Her face lit up and you knew yours did too. You felt butterflies in your stomach. She gives you a smile and a quick flash of a smirk as she walks in the other direction going to say hello to the other staff first. She greets them all, you patiently wait, pretending not to be watching her as you restock bandaids in a drawer. But you were, out of the corner of your eye you couldn’t help but watch her move around the room, your heart rate picking up speed as she would move closer and closer with each person she said hello to.
“I saved the best for last.” You hear her soothing voice behind you.
You turn and she’s standing in front of you arms out as she had done to the other staff. You step toward her, wrapping your arms around her waist as she wraps around your shoulders. You wonder how she smells so good for someone who just got off an airplane and a bus ride, but somehow she does.
“I’ve missed you.” Her lips are against your ear and her voice is quiet to not allow anyone else to hear.
“I missed you too.” You whisper back to her. You pull away, catching your Mom’s eye over Jessie’s shoulder. She gives you a tight lipped smile and a small shake of her head.
“Do you need anything?” You offer Jessie, pointing to an open table where she could sit if she wanted her calf or anything else worked on. You don’t miss how at first she doesn’t verbally answer you, instead her eyes move from your face, down your entire body, then back up, her eyes taking an extra second on your lips before returning to meet your eye contact. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, biting her lip softly.
“Nope, I’m good.” She gives you a smile, you can see her cheeks have a slight red blush but you ignore that.
She turns and walks away, Janine catching her on the way out. You watch as the two appear to argue for a second before Janine slaps the back of Jessie’s head softly. Jessie returns the favor and smacks Janine’s arm as they keep moving down the hallway. Just before they hit the corner Janine turns back to look at you, you make eye contact for a second and she raises her eyebrows at you. Not knowing what that means or what to do you just turn back to putting bandaids, tape, and gauze back where they belong.
It was going to be a long 6 weeks with the team.
338 notes · View notes
homisexual11 · 4 months
Text
Jalice X Reader Headcanons
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Jasper Whitlock/Hale and Alice Cullen X Reader
Warnings: cursing, mentions of vampirism… NSFW at the end.
SFW
–Alice had seen you coming and told Jasper all about it. They fell for you so quickly, even if it took Jasper a bit longer (he definitely had to meet you first and get to know you) than it took Alice (who saw you in her vision and told Jasper everything… he surprisingly took it well)
–Alice spoils you rotten. She gets you clothes, jewelry if you are a girl, literally anything, even if you don’t ask.
–Alice got your first kiss. It had been an accident, she was kissing all over your face and didn’t think and kissed your lips... It was actually cute.
–Jasper took a while before he could touch you, and when he did for the first time Alice had to be right next to you. She didn’t think he would hurt you–no, she knew–but it was for his comfort.
–”It’s alright, Jasper, you won’t hurt her/him,” is a common saying from Alice.
–Once Jasper could finally touch you, physical touch would 100% be his love language. (Along with words of affirmation)
–Alice’s love languages are gifts and quality time… but she likes all of them.
–You are their singer, which makes it harder for the poor cowboy.
–Yes, you call him cowboy. It’s just teasing, but it’s super cute.
–They give you the cutest (or most random nicknames ever) ex. “Baby Love” was used once.
–Alice unironically called you kitten for a while.
–If you turned and were together in the 2020s, you and Alice would jokingly call Jasper Pookie and he hates it so much.
–Jasper is always the first to apologize after a fight. Always.
–Jasper is such a fucking gentleman. Opening doors, guiding either you or Alice on his arm, relatively open-minded, mostly the mature one in fights. He’s also just the peacekeeper.
–Alice is very progressive in relationship stuff, but can work with whatever you need; whereas, Jasper can sometimes stick to certain older tendencies. (Although he listens to what you have to say if you’re a woman, he does think that even if you could kill him if you were a vampire, he needs to protect you.)
–Jasper wouldn’t even think about touching you inappropriately until you were married, even after that he would be hesitant… unless you were a vampire.
–Alice loves doing your hair.
–So does Jasper, but he doesn’t ask… unless you’re like laying with him and he’ll mindlessly play with your hair.
–It’s gentle love. Very much. Mostly because of Jasper, but Alice is gentle as well.
–The first area of you Jasper kissed was your hand. Argue with the wall.
–Alice casually leans her head on your shoulder a lot. She’s a cuddle bug; a lot of little touches from her like she’ll have a hand on your arm or something like that.
–Casual dominance with Jasper… anyways.
–They both are always checking if you’ve eaten or drank anything.
–Jasper 100% regulates your mood. Not all the time, but if something happens and you get SUPER mad or something like that he’ll calm you down. If you weren’t okay with it, he wouldn’t do it all the time, but in a case where something bad was gonna happen, he would.
–Jasper would let you and Alice paint his nails if you begged hard enough. (Guilt trip the already manipulated boyyyy)
NSFW
–They’re both relatively dominant. They’re both soft doms, though.
–I know you see fanfictions that are like “Oh the Major would come out and he would span–” No, boy wouldn’t harm you to save his life. The worst that’ll happen is he’ll rail you into oblivion, but never physically harm you… besides the fucking into oblivion.
–They both love to give, but receiving >>>> just depends on when you ask them though.
–Jasper would not touch you until after you got married, although Alice didn’t believe in that, she wanted the first time to be special and if you wanted it to be with all three of them she would wait.
–If you were still human, it would be SO gentle. Like S O G E N T L E. They would focus all on you, Jasper would keep his mouth away from you though.
–Jasper used his gift to make you feel pleasure, which led to overstimulation… safe to say that is what the “punishment” would be if you were into that, rather than spanking.
–If you’re not into any of that, they can be vanilla too. Jasper is obviously close to vanilla anyways, so…
–Alice loves it when you go down on her.
–Jasper was afraid to let either of you go on top at first, but after a while (and a lot of praising to him) he would.
–In that case, he would call you “ma’am/sir.” He normally calls you that, but when he says it in a whiny voice >>>>
–Once you have turned… it lasts a long time.
–Jasper will kiss you all over, ALL OVER. and Alice is just like, “Woah, save some for me–” he’s just making up for lost kisses.
–Sweetest nicknames that could go in SFW as well, but oh well.
Ex. From Jasper: “Hon, doll, sugar, darlin’, babydoll, LITTLE ONE? even princess( if you were a girl)” From Alice: “Sweet boy/girl, sweetie, sweetness, honey, baby, kitten..”
–Jasper calls it lovemaking, Alice calls it whatever most people call it at the time.
246 notes · View notes
xxblairexxss · 10 months
Text
I’m sorry
Pairing : Charles Leclerc x asian!reader
Theme : Angst
Just a timeline of Charles’s girlfriend throughout the years, how she went from a girl who migrated to France when she was 6 years old to becoming a girlfriend of the Formula 1 driver, Charles Leclerc.
I’m not entirely sure about this one but I just wanted to clear my draft. I’m only tagging those who told me they wanted to be included in my general tag list! Please don’t be offended if I didn’t tag you because it’s not Jealousy part 3 😭 so I thought you don’t want to be tagged but please let me know if you wish to in all of my stories!
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2018
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2019
yninstagram
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Liked by charles_leclerc and 98,765 others
ynusername dropping a selfie bcs it’s been a while
charles_leclerc Mon amour 🧸🤎
ynusername 🤎
user1 SO PRETTYY
user2 LOVING THE HAIR COLOUR!!
user3 she’s asian? can she speaks french?
user4 she has lived in france since she was 6 so yes she can
ynusername
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ynusername a quick stop for mirror selfie before rushing to class
charles_leclerc my pretty girl 🤎
user1 oh to be called my pretty girl by charles too 😭
user2 does she always dress like that?
user3 other wags just scream old money with class. this one..i’m not sure myself 😣
user4 lol she can wear whatever she wants
user2 i just wish she wear something more relevant since it’s affecting charles’s image too
user4 that doesn’t make any sense
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2020
ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, and 103,665 others
ynusername rainy season 🌧️
charles_leclerc I miss you
ynusername I miss you too 🥺🥺
user1 I love how she still look stunning without all those expensive brands
user2 PRETTIESTTT ❤️
user3 is it just me or she looks so out of place compare to other wags?
user4 how i wish she paid more attention to her style
user5 too simple 😕
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2021
ynusername
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ynusername loving this dress! 💛
charles_leclerc beautiful princess
ynusername love youu! 🥺
user1 meeeh tried too hard
user2 lol all those stuffs but still don’t look on par with other wags
user3 omg you look so pretty in a dress!!! AAAAA
user4 charles’s princess ❤️
user5 girl you ate and left all crumbs
“I can’t.”
Charles furrowed his brows to your answer. “What do you mean you can’t? Y/N, we have been together for more than 6 years. Don’t you think it’s time for us to start living together?”
“I got a job offer in London. I’ll be moving away in a week.”
“What? What about us? Don’t you think you should have told me first before you accepted the offer?” He blinked in disbelief, part of him was hoping that you were just pulling a prank on him.
“It was a job that my mom had always been dreaming of, Charles. She sacrificed a lot for me.”You tilted your chin to avoid the tears on your waterline to spill. “She sacrificed her life before she could play with dolls for me. I spent my childhood waiting for the sound of her keys jingling as she came back from her night shift, waking up with just a small note sticked on the side of my breakfast plate because she couldn’t wished me a good morning for having to rush to work. She gave up on her dream, crying from missing her parents in South Korea every night just to make sure I got a chance to draw my life with colours so I wouldn’t have to suffer like she did. I need to accept this job for her. Everything I have been doing and ever will do is for her and you know this.”
Charles remained silence. He had always known your mom’s struggle, raiding you alone as a signle mother and part of him had always known that if you were put in a situation where you had to prioritise your life or your mom’s life, you would always choose hers. He knew it but he was never prepared for the day to come. He couldn’t find himself to say anything else and pulled you into his embrace instead.
“And I’m tired. I’m so, so tired of the constant pressure from everyone. I can’t even wear anything that I want without getting comments about how incompatible I look, how messy I look. I– I don’t know what they– what everyone wants from me. It’s either I looked out of place, an outsider or I looked like I’m trying too hard. I don’t know what everyone expect from me. I’m happy, I’m so goddamn happy that you got to be where you are right now but the more you are building yourself, the more I’m falling apart. I’m losing myself, Charles. I feel like I have been helping you to build your garden while mine is just getting abandoned and forsaken and just full of wilt flowers.”
“I’m sorry.”
That was the last word you remembered him saying as he kept you in your arms, holding you so you wouldn’t fall on your knee from the way your body shook within every sob.
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2022
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London, United Kingdom
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Liked by charles_leclerc, and 277,663 others
ynusername took a day off to play tourist!
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2023
lancomeofficial and ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, and 377,620 others
lancomeofficial Lancôme newest global ambassador, ynusername lookingall glammed up by jaime.creates.
user1 OMG OMG OMG
user2 THAT’S MY GIRRLL
user3 been here since day 1
user4 She looks unreal
user5 it’s been a while since the last time i saw her in my feed 🥹
user6 still using her ex bf fame to build her name lol she’s worse than other ex wag
user7 are you high???
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✧.* tags! @i83andrew @cltrlne @karmabyfernando
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miloformula123fan · 3 months
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hey, I love your writings. Can you please do a Lando x reader, where the reader is lily’s best friend and often hangs out with Alex and Lando with lily. And Lando is constantly flirting but the reader is clueless and one time she says “are you trying to flirt with me?” And he replies “for a year now, thank you for finally noticing!”
thanks so much for your request, sorry if it's a little short :)
sorry it took so long to get out
Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.
also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better
and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)
lando norris x female!reader
“Hey Y/N. I love your outfit today.” Lando blushed slightly as he complimented Y/N
“Aww thanks, I got it from Dior, as a gift for some sponsorship I did a while ago.” Y/N smiled as she did a small twirl to show off the outfit.
“Yeah…” Lando awkwardly tried to pass it off as a friendly comment.
“Hey Y/N, do you want to go for dinner tonight?” Lando looked more hopeful, there was no way she could interpret an invitation to dinner as solely platonic.
“Aww yeah sure, we should go to that new restaurant around the corner. There'll also be some fans there, so we can please the fans!” Y/N grinned as she started rambling about what they could have there.
“Yeah…” Lando awkwardly tried to shuffle away again, once again thwarted by Y/N’s oblivion.
“Hey Y/N, do you want to come around to my room after?” Lando didn’t entirely mean it in ‘THAT’ way, but there was no way Y/N could interpret an invite to a hotel room as anything but romantic.
“Yeah sure, F1 2020?” Y/N grinned as she looked at Lando, eyes sparkling. The same eyes that were the sole reason that Lando was stuck in this spot now.
“Yeah…” Lando was very tempted to punch something now.
1 month in
“Is she taken? Is this why she isn’t flirting back?” Lando had managed to corner Lily, who had been the one encouraging Lando to begin flirting with Y/N, but now Lando was just annoyed.
“No, definitely not. She would tell me. Not to mention she would be showing me so many photos. Also I was on her phone last week, the closest was some guy called Karl, I quizzed her. It’s her brother’s boyfriend.” Lily attempted to reassure Lando.
“Okay, so why isn’t she flirting back?” Lando was a little pissed at the fact that he’d been flirting with Y/N for a month, and she was still acting like it was entirely platonic.
“Because you have fallen in love with someone who quite frankly, Lando, is the densest person I know, so you’re screwed.” Lily patted Lando between his shoulder blades, trying to reassure him, while remaining brutally honest.
“Thanks Lily.” Lando got up and stretched, ready to try again, and then the race.
“Just keep trying, I’m sure you’ll get it eventually.” Lily reassured before he wandered off again.
“Eventually.” Lando sighed.
3 months in 
“Daniel, how did you get a girlfriend?” Lando shyly approached his ex teammate, and watched as his eyes lit up.
“Ooooh, got your eye set on someone, Lando? Who’s the lucky girl?” Daniel shook Lando’s shoulders, ready to tease the young boy.
When Lando hesitated Daniel seemed to sense that there was something he wanted to say, and paused and his eyes lit up a little less.
“Is it a guy, Lando? You know I won't judge…” Daniel tried to approach the topic, sensitively. He knew he was known as the ‘happy go lucky’ guy, but he knew when his friends needed to talk, he needed to just be there for his friends.
“No, no, no. Definitely a girl. I just-” Lando quickly shut down those rumours, while he wasn’t homophobic, he was definitely straight, despite the way he acted around his teammates.
“Aww has Lando gone all shy?” Daniel immediately resumed the teasing.
“No, the complete opposite. I’ve been blatantly flirting with her for almost 3 months and she has no idea.” Lando sighed.
“Have you come up with the idea that she…just maybe…isn’t into you like that?” Daniel tried to let him down slowly.
“No, Lily asked her and she said she has a crush on me, she’s waiting for me to make the first move. Which I have been doing!” Lando put his head in his hands, knees up to his chest.
“There’s a lot of women around Lando, maybe the densest one isn’t for you.” Daniel was half teasing him, half trying to let him down easily now.
“No, I would've said that 3 months ago. Now that I’ve realised she’s THAT dense. I’m now determined to make her realise that I’m flirting with her.”
“Wait, Lando…are you talking about Y/N?” Daniel’s eyes widened.
“Yeah why?”
Daniel couldn’t help it and started laughing.
“My man, you are going to die a virgin.”
“She’s not that dense is she?” Lando looked slightly panicked.
“She once walked in on her surprise birthday party and asked what the party was for.” Daniel was trying to hold his laughter.
“I’m fucked.” Lando buried his face in his hands.
“Yeah you are, but you’ve got your mates.” Daniel clapped him on the back before wandering ahead again towards his garage.
9 months in
“Lily, you are friends with the densest person I know.” Lando sighed
“Oh I know. I’ve been trying to hint that you’re flirting with her for the past, what? 9 months. Yeah she is a dense motherfucker.” Lily laughed slightly, but stopped at the hopelessness on Lando’s face
“Any suggestions?” Lando looked so defeated.
“No. just keep trying, eventually she’ll get it. Or she won’t and you’ll just have to move on.” Lily comforted him, before he got up and went off to race.
A year in
“Are you trying to flirt with me?” Y/N started laughing at the idea, however she stopped when she saw Lando’s face.
“For a year now, thank you for finally noticing” Lando laughing and throwing his hands up before seeing Y/N’s face.
“A year?” Y/N looked shocked and a little sad.
“...yeah” Lando noticed how all of their friends stepped back and tried to give the 2 space. “You’re a little dense.” he shrugged.
“Oh my god- you were FLIRTING WITH ME?” Y/N looked so shocked.
“...yeah!” Lando looked a little sheepish.
“Oh, my god, Lando I’m so sorry, you should’ve asked me on a date or something, I would’ve said yes and…” Y/N started rambling and wringing her hands as she panicked. ‘A year, how did she not notice’ she thought to herself.
“I did. Or well, I thought I did, but you uhh didn’t realise.” Lando scratched at the back of his neck, looking down at the floor.
“OH LANDO! I’m so sorry, uhhh, if you still want, we can go on a date?” Y/N offered, also kinda sheepish.
“Of course, I would love to.” Lando smiled, before offering his hand to Y/N, and she took it, smiling.
---
taglist: @leosxrealm, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3
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tkwrites · 3 months
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Sarah Meets the Parents - Quinn Hughes x ofc
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Photo from Pinterest. Did I crop the brothers out of this photo because I couldn't find any of Quinn with just his parents? Yes, yes I did.
Title: Sarah Meets the Parents
Author: Tory / @tkwrites 
Relationship: Quinn Hughes x Sarah Roberts (OFC) 
Warnings: None? If I should add any, please let me know. 
Summary: As Requested, Sarah meets Ellen and Jim.
Word Count: 5,300
Comments: This fic has been in the back of my mind for so long. I originally didn’t intend for it to be it’s own Snapshot, but it was heavily requested, so here it is. I hope you enjoy! 
fallinallincurls asked: i LOVED your latest quinn & sarah fic and was curious if we’ll get to see sarah meet jack & luke/his parents?? I already know i’d absolutely love that fic so much omg
dasiysthings asked: I seriously hope you’re planning a chapter/s on Sarah meeting Ellen, Jim, Luke and Jack! Because the new one meeting Brady is simply the cutest 🥰
Sarah Meets the Parents
A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot
There weren't many things Ellen could say she knew for certain, but she did know her eldest son had never been in love. 
In high school, he thought he'd been in love as much as a teenager can without the maturity or full understanding of the concept. When he got to college, he dated, but every girl they met seemed to be in his life for convenience more than because of any kind of real chemistry. Then there was the mess with June. He'd been so in lust with her that he overlooked and defended all her actions to his own detriment. 
Quinn had been what he thought was head over heels about her. Each time Ellen tried to bring up any concerns, he bulldozed over her worry, explaining away every bad thing June said or did. The only thing he seemed to hear when Ellen brought it up was the, “I like her,” part of the conversation, while brushing aside the follow up, “but I'm worried.”
When they met her, Quinn had been nervous, almost as if he was bracing for the worst. It was a strange thing to hear him talk about how much he liked her, while at the same time acting a bit scared of how she would react to things. 
It was terrible to watch him get into that relationship, calling it love when it clearly wasn’t - at least not on June's part - and then after it finally fell apart, having to dig his way out again. 
Over the past few months, she'd noticed a change in Quinn.
He called to ask her about supporting someone in grief, but didn’t tell her anything other than he was going out with someone who had lost a parent. 
Since then, he’d talk about this girl - this woman - named Sarah every time they were on the phone. She naturally dropped into their conversations about what he’d been doing. After a month, she’d asked him, “Are you dating her?” 
“Yeah,” he’d admitted as his cheeks went ruddy over the facetime video, “I really like her.” 
Quinn often blushed - that pale skin of his didn’t hide much - but she’d never seen him blush over a girl quite like this. He seemed almost bashful. 
He told her how Sarah was in grad school, and how they got along so well. He didn’t always give details, but she could see that he was happy and more settled than she'd seen him in a long time. 
When Luke had called to ask her if she knew he had a girlfriend, the only thing that shocked her was that he was using that term before telling her about it. Even more so that he hadn’t told his brothers about her at all. 
When she found out the title “girlfriend” had come from Brady and not from Quinn himself, and they talked about his reasoning for holding back from his brothers, it made much more sense. 
Coming to Vancouver this time, she wasn’t sure if this certainty would continue to hold true or not. 
On the surface, she and Jimmy were coming in to visit Quinn and hopefully see the Canucks clinch into their first playoff berth since 2020. Their first real playoff berth since the mid 2000s. Even with all that excitement, they also wanted to meet this woman Brady liked well enough to jump straight into calling Quinn's girlfriend. 
Knowing things in his life had changed didn't prepare her for the shift she saw in Quinn when he picked them up from the airport. 
He hopped out of the car and hugged her tightly. “I'm so glad you're here,” he said before hugging Jim and helping him load the bags.
This was the same song and dance he did every time they came to visit, but this time, Quinn had a twinkle in his eye and a spring in his step she'd never seen before. He was even humming on the drive to his condo, despite the city traffic. 
They were already in different territory than they’d been with June. Quinn was a little nervous now. She could see it in the tap of his fingers on the steering wheel and the way his left knee bounced, but it wasn't that same kind of bracing nervousness it had been with June. This seemed more like the jittery nerves he used to get before a big game when he was younger. He seemed hopeful. 
They talked about their flight and things back home in Michigan. 
“Are we still meeting Sarah?” Jim asked. He had a way of cutting straight to the heart of a conversation. It was a skill Ellen had appreciated all their life together.  
“Yeah, she's at my place,” Quinn said with this goofy little smile she didn’t see on him very often. “She was making dessert when I left.” 
More than just to appease her maternal anxiety, Ellen was so interested to meet this woman who had turned her intense, hockey obsessed little boy into such a love boat. 
“I think you're really going to like her,” he was saying. 
If she made Quinn this happy, Ellen had no doubt she would. 
Glancing at Jimmy in the back seat, she found him watching Quinn with a quiet intensity. When he noticed her gaze, he turned a reassuring smile on her. 
When the door to Quinn’s apartment opened, Sarah took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. This was an exciting and joyous occasion. It was also nerve wracking, sad and a little bit painful, and it was okay to hold all those things at once. She imagined welcoming each emotion into her heart and mind like Jenny, her therapist, had taught her. It was better to feel them than to stuff them down. 
Treat them as visitors, she reminded herself, no emotion lasts forever.
“I’ll go get her,” she heard Quinn say.
The excitement shining in his face when Quinn came into the kitchen made her smile.
He gathered her into a quick, tight hug, “you ready?” 
She tucked her face into his neck for a moment, holding him a little longer to fortify herself. 
“Okay, I'm ready,” she took a step back, “I don't have anything in my teeth, do I?” 
“No, you're good.”
Taking her hand, he led her into the living room where his parents were waiting, standing in front of the couch.
“Sarah,” Quinn said, finding himself less nervous than he expected, “these are my parents, Ellen and Jim. Mom, dad, this is Sarah.” 
The first thing she thought was how Quinn had pieces of both his parents: Jim’s wide smile and thick chest, and Ellen's bone structure. 
Ellen was lithe and strong - shaped like a woman who was an athlete all her life, even as an empty nester. Jim looked like a jovial dad - like most of her friends' fathers, like her own too - who played sports when they were younger, but were a bit more relaxed in their later years.
To Ellen, Sarah looked like the kind of girl she always hoped her boys would end up with. She had a kind smile and hopeful, smart eyes.
Quinn was obviously in love with her. He was practically glowing with it. He looked at her like she was the best, brightest thing in the room - like he’d never get bored of seeing her face. She’d never seen him look so lovestruck before. She didn’t know he even could.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Sarah said, extending her hand, “Quinn talks about you all the time.” 
Jim took her hand in both of his and gave her a friendly smile. “It’s nice to meet you too.” 
Ellen bypassed her hand, and went in for a quick hug.
Quinn watched as the surprise on Sarah’s face melted into a smile as they embraced. 
Feeling the nervous energy radiating off of Sarah, Ellen tried to put her more at ease. “You're so much prettier than Quinn let on,” she said as she stepped back. They’d seen pictures of her - well one picture of her. The selfie Quinn had shared with his brothers. The photo didn’t capture how blue her eyes actually were or show any of her curvy figure. 
“Oh, thank you,” she said, a flush glowing on her cheeks.
The conversation lulled and Quinn jumped in. “Well, dinner’s ready if you’re hungry,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder, “or we can relax for a while before we eat.” 
“I’m famished,” Jim said, holding a hand to his stomach. 
“Then let's eat.” 
As they settled around the table, Ellen took note of the way Sarah helped Quinn bring out dishes before finally settling into the seat on his left. 
“So, Sarah,” Jim said once they'd all dished up, “Quinn tells us you golf.” 
She swallowed quickly, nodding. “Yeah, my dad taught all of us when we were young. We went every Sunday as a family until I left for college.” 
“I bet you’re pretty good then.” 
“I’m decent,” she said with a shrug. 
Quinn rolled his eyes. “She shot the lights out and beat us all last weekend. Petey included.” 
She gave a smile to her dinner plate, but didn’t deny it or try to placate Quinn’s feelings. Ellen instantly liked that about her. 
“What does your dad do?” 
“Ma,” Quinn cut in, an exasperated look on his face. 
Sarah lay a hand over his, “it’s fine.” Looking back to Ellen, she said, “my dad was an aerospace engineer, but he passed away four years ago.” 
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head, “I forgot Quinn told us.”
“Thank you, but it’s really fine. I don’t expect everyone to remember - it’s just part of life.” 
While Sarah took the faux pa with grace, Quinn was a little embarrassed his mom didn’t remember.
“And you’re getting your PhD?” Jim asked. 
“I’m not quite to that level,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh. “Just my masters. You really only need a doctorate if you want to teach and that's not really something I'm interested in.” 
“In Marine Biology?” 
“Zoology,” she corrected, “they’re similar fields, but we focus solely on the animal kingdom rather than ocean life as a whole.” 
“I bet that’s fascinating,” Ellen said. 
“I think it is, but I’ve always loved the ocean.” 
“So what will you do with that degree?” 
“Mostly work in aquariums, but there’s some work in conservation, which I feel really passionately about, so I’d prefer that.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “Ellen, Quinn told me you're working with the national women's hockey team, that must be really cool.”
Ellen had come into this dinner thinking she would have to drive the conversion like she had with most of the girls her boys dated. It was a refreshing change of pace to find Sarah willing to do part of the work.
“Yeah. It's nice to step into that coaching role formally for the first time. It's really amazing to see how far the sport has come for women.”
“Oh, I bet,” Sarah said. “I started following the new women's league after I met Quinn and it's cool to see them play on such a big stage.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I hardly knew anything about hockey when we met. So I started reading articles, and I subscribed to The Athletic, and I know a little more now. It's a whole world I'm still trying to figure out.”
The dedication that showed was impressive. 
“You'd never watched hockey before?” Jim asked.
“I mean, I'm sure my dad had it on during the Olympics, but I never paid that much attention to it.”
“Remind me where you're from?”
“Nevada.”
“I bet there weren't many opportunities for you to see hockey when you were a kid.”
“No,” she laughed. 
When dinner wound down, Sarah got up to clear the table. 
“You don’t need to do that,” Ellen said. “You helped with the meal.”
“You all haven’t seen each other in so long. I’ll take care of the dishes while you catch up,” she said, reaching under Jims protesting arm to lift his plate. 
Ellen smiled gratefully at her and tried to think if any of her boys had dated such thoughtful women before. 
Glad for a moment alone to gather her thoughts and emotions, Sarah loaded the dishwasher before finishing the tart. 
Surprisingly, the sadness she'd expected to feel never came. At least, not as strongly as she'd braced for. It seemed the build up and worry were worse. Instead, nerves sparked and fizzed in her stomach.
Before he'd left for the airport, Quinn had reassured her she didn’t have anything to worry about. While Ellen seemed especially friendly, she had a harder time reading Jim, who seemed to hold his cards closer to his chest.
At the very least, it was going better than when she met her college boyfriend's parents, who outright told her she was too good for their son while he sat across the dinner table. To this day, it was the most backhanded compliment she’d ever been given. It told her so much about his home life and explained the snide remarks he would make when she made a mistake or did something differently than he expected. She’d ended the relationship shortly thereafter.
As she arranged the raspberries, she hoped Ellen and Jim actually liked her, and weren’t just putting on a show to her face. 
“I like her, Quinny,” his mom said when he asked what they thought. 
He beamed. 
“I can tell she’s very driven.” 
“Yeah,” Quinn agreed. “I like that about her.” 
“I just worry -”
His smile slipped a bit. 
“You work in such different fields, and lead such different lives.” 
“So?”
“Well, I mean, what happens if you get traded somewhere where you’re not near the ocean?” 
“I hadn’t really thought that far ahead. I’ve been so focused on making the playoffs,” he admitted. Plus, he had three more years in Vancouver and would gladly stay longer if it was still a good fit. 
“Like I said, I like her. She seems really sweet and I can tell you like each other a lot, but I want you to pay attention to some of the things that might not be all sunshine and rainbows down the road. Relationships are about compromise, and I'm worried some of the compromises you may have to make might cause more of an impact than you’re used to.”
“Yeah, those are some good points," Quinn agreed. "I’ll talk with her about it.” He knew this honeymoon phase would end eventually. They were four weeks from the playoffs and three weeks from her finals. The next month would be a test, that was for sure. 
A relieved smile slid onto Ellen's face. He was being far more mature about this than he had when she expressed hesitations about June. Some of the worry uncoiled in her chest.
“What do you think, dad?”
“She’s very pretty.” 
“And?”
“And what?” 
“She’s pretty? That’s all you have to say?” 
“I don’t know, Q. I just met her. She’s pretty. She seems very smart.” 
Quinn dropped it. His dad would tell him what he thought eventually, but trying to pry an opinion out of him before he was ready was fruitless. 
All the same, Jim lit up when Sarah came in with the chocolate tart. 
“That looks delicious,” he said. “What's in it?”
“It's a chocolate cream mousse over a layer of caramel in a dark chocolate and almond crust. The raspberries on top help to cut some of the richness.”
“That sounds delicious.” 
Ellen took a bite, and felt her eyes flutter closed, “Sarah, this is divine.” 
“Thank you. It was my dads favorite.” 
Quinn put a comforting hand on her knee.
“It’s going to be dangerous to have this in the house,” Jim said, joking.
“Oh, I can take it to school tomorrow if you don’t want it around,” she offered. 
“I’m not sure I’m willing to give it up.”
She laughed, and Quinn shot her a quick, reassuring grin.
“Are you free tomorrow before the game?” Ellen asked when Sarah announced she should probably head home.
“Well, I have class in the morning, and then I’m at the aquarium until three, but I’m free afterward.” 
“I was thinking about getting a manicure and wondered if you wanted to go together.” 
“Oh, I can’t do manicures because my hands are always in the tanks.” 
Ellen felt her hesitations go up. When she had asked June this same thing, June had shot her down, telling her she’d just had her nails done. She didn't seem to catch the subtext of wanting to spend some time together without the boys around. 
“But I would love to get a pedicure if that might work?” 
“That sounds great. We can do that and then meet Jim for dinner and all go to the game together.” 
“That sounds really nice.” she said before yawning, “I’m sorry, I was up at 5 this morning to study for an exam. I’ve got to get home.” 
“I’ll drive you,” Quinn offered, slipping a protective arm around her. 
He told his parents, who were sharing a silent conversation with their eyes, he'd be back and led Sarah down to the parking garage. 
As soon as they were in his car, he asked, “so, what do you think?” 
“They’re really nice,” she said. “I can’t tell if your dad likes me or not, though.”
“That's just Jim,” he assured, reaching over to lace their fingers together. “He doesn't like most people when he meets them, but he'll come around.”
They were quiet for a while as Quinn brushed his thumb over her palm. Finally, he asked, "you okay?"
The very fact that he was checking in made her swoon a little.
"Yeah. It actually wasn't that bad. I mean, I miss them, but it wasn't as painful as I expected."
He squeezed her hand, "I'm glad."
"Thank you for checking."
Briefly taking his eyes off the road, he cast a startled look in her direction. "Why wouldn't I check in?"
"I don't know, just," she matched their fingertips together, gently pushing to move his, "it's just really nice to be seen."
He understood that. Sarah saw pieces of him most of the world didn't. With her, he wasn't Quinn Hughes, hockey prodigy. He was just Quinn, and she liked all the quieter parts of him, too.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he pulled up to her building.
Leaning over the console, she kissed him goodbye, lingering a little longer than usual.
"See you tomorrow," she echoed once she pulled away.
He watched her walk into the building before driving home.
The following afternoon, Sarah had to race across town as soon as she was off work to make the appointment Ellen had set up at a ritzy spa downtown.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, blustering into the waiting area, “the train was late, and I was…I got here as fast as I could.” 
“It’s fine,” Ellen said, giving her a quick squeeze before walking to the desk to let the attendant know everyone in their party had arrived. 
They got changed into their robes and were seated in some fancy chairs above marble foot basins. Sarah had never done anything this lavish. She went to get pedis with her mom and sister, but that was always down at the salon in the mall.
“Have you come here before?”
“Only once, but it was so lovely, I’ve thought about coming back every time we visit.” 
“It’s very nice.”
Ellen hadn’t failed to notice the way Sarah's eyes popped when they walked into the serene pedicure room. A part of her was relieved she wasn't used to such luxury. 
“It’s a little more opulent than what I’m used to back home,” Ellen admitted with a little laugh, “but it’s nice for a special occasion.”
Sarah felt herself relax. 
Since the night before, Ellen felt a bit like she'd stepped into some kind of time warp. She'd glanced away from her oldest son, and when she looked back, everything in his life had changed. Even the phone calls and facetimeing hadn’t prepared her for the way Sarah was in Quinn’s life in what already seemed like such a permanent way. 
Instead of watching their relationship bloom like she had with Luke and Kylee, who had followed a natural progression that was easy to track as they went from friends, to dating, and now long distance with Kylee already making plans to move to New Jersey when she graduated from Michigan, she was coming into something nearly fully formed.
She was glad for this time alone to get to know Sarah a little more.
“So, tell me about your research.” 
Sarah explained about Walter and how the hormone testing was going. She was writing a publication on it for her grant writing class that semester, and hoped to have it published in a scientific journal.
“That sounds really interesting.” 
“It is. It’s wild to see how he reacts to those small changes. It’s really rewarding to gather results with such traceable data.” 
“I bet. What do you do for fun?” 
“I honestly don’t have a lot of free time. Between school and work and spending time with Quinn, there’s not much leftover, but I really like reading, and I like to golf and hike when I can.” 
“You don’t do any ocean sports?” 
“I surfed casually when I was in Hawaii, but the water’s so cold here, I haven’t picked it up again.” 
“You lived in Hawaii?” 
“For about two years. I was working with a conservation non-profit. That’s where my love for the ocean really bloomed.”
“We’re going this summer. You’ll have to give us some recommendations.”
They talked for a long time about their vacation. Sarah promised to write up a list of suggestions. Ellen wondered if she might be joining them. Kylee was staying home, but that was because of a prior engagement on her part. 
“And Quinn’s been treating you well?” she asked, bracing for the response. Not that she expected Sarah to be totally truthful to her face.
“Oh, yes,” she said, not missing a beat. “He's the best guy I've ever dated.”
“Really?” The realistic side of her never expected to hear that. Ellen knew her sons. She knew how they could be selfish and too competitive and too focused on hockey. 
“Yeah. I mean, he gets in his head sometimes, but I do too. I was just thinking last night about how he's just the most caring person. I've never met someone so driven that's so kind and dedicated to the people in his life.”
The sincere look in Sarah's face told her just how truthful that statement was. It was the fulfillment of so many of her motherhood goals all at once, Ellen nearly teared up. “I'm really glad to hear that.”
Sarah smiled, and fiddled with the robe tie around her waist.
“Have you talked to the boys yet?” Ellen asked, even though she knew the answer. 
“The boys?”
“My other boys, Jack and Luke?” 
“Oh, yeah, we talked over facetime last week,” Sarah said. 
“Was it okay?” Ellen asked, picking up on the hesitation in her tone.
“I think so? Jack seemed kind of closed off, which, from the way Quinn talks about him, I didn’t really expect.” 
“I think that’s probably Quinn’s fault. He didn’t tell them about you until you met Brady, and usually he would have, so I think Jack’s feeling a little put out.”
“I didn't…why didn't he tell them?” she asked, wondering if perhaps he was embarrassed and wanted to make sure Brady approved before he was willing to share her with his family. 
“I think you should probably ask Quinn that, but it had a lot to do with June. I don't think he totally trusted himself after they broke up. Jack will come around once he sees how happy you and Quinn are together,” she assured.
Sarah felt herself blush. Hearing Ellen, even indirectly, acknowledge how happy they were, felt like a mountain climbed, like a battle conquered. 
At the end of the appointment, Ellen laughed when Sarah pulled her own sandals out of her robe pockets to wear while the polish dried in lieu of the spa supplied slides she was wearing. 
“I have this weird thing about wearing shoes that aren’t mine,” she said, slipping on the Birkenstocks. “I know they’re sanitary, but it’s just,” she shuddered, “gross to me.” 
After they changed, Ellen beat Sarah out to the reception desk. Sarah pulled her wallet out but Ellen shushed her gently, “it's my treat.” 
“Thank you. That's so nice.” 
Jim picked them up and drove to a restaurant near the arena Sarah recommended.
As they settled into the booth, Sarah on one side, and Jim and Ellen on the other, she told them, “I like this place because they have a testing menu, so there’s always something new and interesting. I’ve never had anything bad here.” 
They talked throughout. Sarah asked Jim about his consulting job, and he explained what he did and how his coaching career helped him get there. Ellen explained more of what she was doing with the women's hockey program. 
Even though it was a bit strange and a big step to have dinner with Quinn’s parents without him less than twenty four hours after they met, Sarah was glad to have some time to talk and get to know them a little more. Jim, especially, seemed more friendly.
At the end of the meal, Sarah tapped her card to the payment device before either of them could jump in. 
“You didn’t need to do that,” Ellen protested after the waiter walked away.
“You’re guests, you shouldn’t have to pay,” Sarah said.
Also, she wasn’t sixteen. She didn’t need her boyfriend's parents to pay for everything. 
 
When they got to their seats, Jim made sure Sarah was sitting between them. He usually would have put Ellen in the middle, but if she was, he wouldn’t get to talk with Sarah at all. 
He wasn’t blind. He saw the way Quinn looked at her, and knew if he had anything to say about it, Sarah would be in their lives for a long time. He needed to bite the bullet and get to know her now. 
They made some small talk, but once the game started, Sarah watched with a quiet intensity.
“You look a little confused,” he said, noticing Sarah's furrowed brow half way through the first period.
“I’m…” she paused, “I am.” 
“What are you confused about?” 
“I can look it up when we go to a commercial break,” she said, not wanting to be an inconvenience.
“I can answer you questions,” he offered.
“Okay,” she said, “but let me know if I'm talking too much.”
“How are you going to learn if you don't ask?” Ellen asked. 
“I just…I don’t want to overwhelm you, or take you out of the game.” 
Jim smiled, “we’ll let you know if you ask too many questions,” he assured. Most girlfriends he met would just watch, occasionally making comments. It was refreshing that Sarah wanted to understand Quinn's work so much.
When she smiled at him, he saw a flash of what had drawn Quinn to her. She was very pretty, but those bright, intelligent eyes made him want to talk to her. It was as if he knew she would be smart and interesting before she even said a word. 
“Okay, so as I understand it, Dallas is running a 2-1-2 forecheck, right?”
Jim blinked and looked at Ellen, who was mirroring his startled expression. 
“Right,” he said, confused as to where this was headed. Usually, when he had to explain the rules to someone new to hockey, their first question wasn’t about play strategy.
“So what I don’t understand is why the Canucks aren’t responding in kind. Wouldn’t it make sense to forecheck man to man?” 
“Well, firstly, when you’re chasing the other team down, it's referred to as backchecking.” 
“Okay, that makes sense."
He continued, “and it doesn’t always make sense to defend man to man. A lot of it depends on the way the coach wants the team to play."
“Okay, so can you explain the Canucks backchecking strategy to me?” 
“You know,” Jim said instead of getting into the very complicated reasoning behind play selection, “when you said you had questions, I expected them to be about icing or something.” 
“Oh, I asked Quinn and read the rules,” she said, flipping a hand, “I understand most of them now. I just don’t get the coach's motivation sometimes.” 
He laughed, “Welcome to being a hockey fan.”
Some of her worry eased at his laughter. Of course Quinn was right. He knew his own family best.
They continued talking through the game. Jim was impressed with the ferocity at which Sarah wanted to understand. She knew more than most of the girls his kids had dated in the past, but it was fairly obvious she got most of her knowledge from reading. Sometimes, when play went into a gray area, she would make a noise in her throat as if that would scold the refs into calling by the book. Even when Quinn ended up in the penalty box for a cross check most of the stadium was up in arms about, she watched the replay, shrugged and said, “I think that call was probably justified.” 
Even though the Canucks lost in overtime, it still gave them one of the three points they needed to get to the finals. The whole stadium was buzzing with possibility and hope. 
They all left together and Ellen drove her home. When she kissed Quinn goodbye in the back seat, Sarah tried not to feel like an awkward teen getting chaperoned, as if they couldn't be trusted on their own.
Getting back to the condo, Jim was glad for some time alone with Quinn. These moments after big games were something he cherished now that they happened so infrequently.
“You guys really rallied back in the third to get that extra point. I'm proud of you." 
“Thanks dad.” 
They talked about and dissected the game over another slice of Sarah’s chocolate tart before Quinn asked, “how was dinner?” 
“Good,” Ellen said, “though I wish she would have let us pay. She just kind of swooped in and took the bill.” 
“She does that sometimes,” Quinn said.
Truthfully, he always hated when she did. He knew she didn’t have a ton of money, and he had more than he knew what to do with.
When he brought it up, she’d shushed him with a comment about being able to pull her own weight. 
“She does it with you too?” 
“Yeah, she talks about wanting to balance out.” 
It was refreshing to find Sarah so independent. Jim didn’t worry about how she would fill her time when Quinn was on the road, or that she was only interested in him because of deep pockets or a ticket to fame.
“I don’t really know how you got her,” Jim said, “but I’m glad you did. She’s a really great girl.” 
Quinn beamed, knowing it was the truth. 
“I do think your mom’s right, though. You two need to have some conversations about the future. Set some expectations.” 
“Yeah, I’ll talk with her about it.”
"You should invite her to the Reunion," his mom said, almost off handedly.
If they wanted her at the family reunion that summer, they saw the same potential he did.
"Okay, I will."
Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist
To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist
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raceweek · 6 months
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Drop the podcast bestie! (Please)
it’s the high performance podcast (you have to download their app to get it for free right now but it will be available for free soon on regular platforms) - in case anyone doesn’t want to download the app but wants to know some of the things alex talked about:
- for context he recorded the first part of the podcast initially and talked a lot about his struggles at red bull and what he went through as a teenager and then went back to the podcast hosts and said actually can we do a part two bc i want to talk about how im coping better now
- he says he isolated himself from all of his friends when everything was happening with his mum and he became an introverted person and still carries that introvertedness with him now from going through that time
- alex was told he was promoted to red bull when he went to see helmut in austria to talk about the practicalities of his move to monaco and just as the meeting ended helmut said oh by the way ur in the red bull seat, here’s the number for ur engineer maybe speak to him but also actually u can’t bc the factory is closed for summer but yeah ur going to be announced in about two hours. bye
- he says he didn’t enjoy being a driver in 2020 at all. literally said he was destroyed. he spoke about the pressure and how he deleted his social media due to the incessant mocking but he also felt like even though he had done that he couldn’t avoid it because although he didn’t see it directly he’d just be asked about it on media day every week anyway
- he was asked about what help was offered to him in 2020 when he was struggling and whilst he said the team cared there wasn’t really anything or anyone to help him. alex and his trainer patrick got their own psychologist towards the end of 2020 and then in 2021 when alex was out of the sport he assembled a team of his own who weren’t the most experienced but who he knew cared for him and would fight to the death for him (said he took jacques from red bull to be his manager because he always fought his corner no matter how tough the situation was)
- he was told about being dropped by horner in a meeting at the end of the season but he already knew because it had been posted in the media before they’d even met
- he described 2021 as a really weird time as he needed to boost his stock with red bull and all the other teams but to do that he needed to give as much as he possibly could to improve the car he had just been kicked out of, so when max said at pre season testing that the car was so much more stable it was a strange feeling knowing that that’s what he needed and he wasn’t able to do anything with it
- he compiled a sexy spreadsheet for team principals in the paddock showing that as much as he struggled in 2020 he was on reflection closer to max pace wise than maxs’ current teammate and maxs’ teammate before alex
- when asked to describe where he is now he said he’s happier than he’s ever been. he’s driving better than ever and is mentally in the best headspace he’s ever been in
- he says he comes up with scenarios in his head from the last 4/5 years and as soon as he has a sort of deja vu struggle moment he uses it to show himself he’s overcome that hurdle
- he said the older he gets the more he doesn’t feel the need to write things down the way he used to because he feels more confident in himself
- the best piece of advice he’s ever received is from franz tost who said “alex if there’s one thing you need to learn about formula one it’s don’t give a fuck” and he said he didn’t really understand it until he started struggling and then he realised that he cared too much
- when asked about what advice he would give to teenage alex now he said it’s hard because he isn’t the most confident now and he knows teenage alex wouldn’t listen bc his parents would always try and fill him with confidence so he said he’d try and shake younger him and tell him that it’s true what they’re telling you
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