#Bc it's way more powerful to realize just how much emotional energy he CONTINUOUSLY kept putting into trying to contact Will

[asmo-ds]

Could you maybe do headcanons for an mc who has anxiety? And possibly write what the characters might do to help if mc was having an anxiety attack?

Helping MC Through an Anxiety Attack

warnings: Panic / Anxiety attacks

Summary: How the demon brothers would aid an MC with anxiety when they start to have an attack

a/n: I’m  lightly basing this off of how my own panic attacks usually go and how I am usually helped by the people around me. I also only did the brothers but if you want the undateables feel free to send in another ask and I’ll get to it!

- He was prepared to deal with MC and their anxiety as their portfolio had specified their diagnosis and some basic things to avoid letting them come in contact with

- He bought lots of stress relief things in preparation for their arrival as well as some books made to aid a parent dealing with an anxious teen

- A few months into the exchange program he has grown too comfortable and stopped hovering MC, which led to them coming in contact with a trigger

- Mammon comes to Lucifer explaining what happened and how MC ran off and he hasn’t been able to find them, and Lucifer is immediately out of his office and searching the house for the human

- He finds them hidden in his bedroom closet, tucked away in the furthest corner with their eyes squeezed shut yet tears still flow freely and their breathing is loud and ragged and he can’t help but feel his heart break as they look up at him with a panicked look in their eyes.

- He crawls into his closet (his large body struggling to fit) and sits across from MC, avoiding touching them unless hey feel comfortable

- He reaches up into a box and pulls out a Rubik's Cube placing it in their trembling hands, watching as they start to fiddle with it, a focused look in their eyes

- He creates some background noise for them by talking about his day and making other small talk 

- If after the incident MC doesn’t want to talk about it he is a bit worried still, but respects their decision

- If they do want to talk he will get them some tea and snacks as well as some blankets and pillows so they can be comfortable while they relive what just happened to them

- Starts bringing MC up to the human world weekly for therapy appointments / just to hang out in their natural environment

- Lucifer completely forgot to warn Mammon about their diagnosis

- So during one of his schemes they encounter something that is one of MC’s triggers, causing them to freak out

- He panics at first and is unsure what to do

- All he knows in that moment is his human is hurting and he needs to help them

- He will try to block anything but himself out of their view to limit any sort of sensory overload

- Tries to do some breathing exercises and talks calmly to guide MC

- Tries making jokes a lot to try and get a smile out of the human

- If none of this works he will just sit beside MC and let them wear themselves out

- Afterwards he will pester MC about what happened and try to get information out of them

- But when he sees how uncomfortable it makes them he shuts his mouth and opts to continue the day like nothing happened

- Has a note in his D.D.D that has a list of all the triggers he knows MC has so he can make plans around them

- Asks Satan for some human psychology books and goes to Levi to get advice since Leviathan has anxiety as well

- makes MC use an online app to talk about their anxiety (most likely an app like woebot bc i love woebot)

- He can tell the second they come in contact with a trigger

- The look in their eyes tells him everything he needs to know

- Immediately brings them somewhere secluded where he can talk them through it

- He’ll wrap them in his arms and rock them while talking about random things to take their mind off anything else

- Afterwards he talks to them about his own and they both devise plans for helping each other through the attacks

- His heartbreaks every time he sees MC in so much pain and he always feels guilty that he can’t take their pain away

- He has the most experience with panic attacks so I think he’d be really good at knowing what to do and what MC might need in that moment

- After the attack he doesn’t force them to talk he simply puts on some anime and cuddles them while they snack on different junk foods 

- Every time he helps them through an attack he also feels like a hero and will be super proud of himself for taking care of them

- Most knowledgeable on human psychology, so he also is prepared for dealing with an anxiety attck

- Though he has never experienced one for himself he knows the different ways to comfort a human who is in the midst of one

- He knows when he sees MC the first time that they have anxiety just by their mannerisms

- He keeps an eye on them, at first because he wanted to study them but after a while he watched over them because he was worried and didn’t want them to get hurt

- He was the cause of the first one he witnessed because he had a temper tantrum and threw something at Lucifer while screaming

- He saw MC flee from the corner of his eye and felt annoyed with himself for scaring them

- After calming down he went to MC’s room and realized they seemed to be in the middle of an anxiety attack

- He kept his distance knowing he caused it but tried to coach them through it from afar

- Afterwards he feels really guilty and doesn’t make them talk about it

- He spoils them rotten the rest of the night and tries to keep his temper in check around them from now on

- He had a slight idea of how bad their anxiety was

- But he wasn’t expecting to see them flee the nightclub after a demon had touched their shoulder to get their attention

- He finds them out in the alley curled up behind the dumpster with their hands over their ears and tears streaming down their face

- He is a bit nervous and doesn’t want to accidentally hurt them so he just gently picks them up and heads home

- at home he puts them on his bed and brings over some super fluffy blankets and decides to pamper them for the time being

- So he does relaxing activities and beauty routines with them

- When it’s all over he is asks if they want to talk about it

- If they do he’ll listen and not interrupt once 

- If they don’t he’ll try to get their mind off of everything by going on about some new trend or gossip that’s been going around RAD

- For sure goes to Satan later on to find out some things that could help MC

- He just really doesn’t want his prince/princess/baby being sad and anxious :(

- Becomes v protective in public as well since he knows most of the people around him are touchy feely people so they’d probably just assume MC was the same

- His instincts for slapping away people’s wandering hands has grown by 10000000%

- He is the softest brother out of all seven of them when it comes to emotions

- I think Levi and Belphie are the three most likely to have anxiety and he seems closest with those two, so he inevitably has learned how to help them through things

- He recognizes the sign of a anxiety attack right away 

- The second he sees it he will quietly but quickly brings MC to an empty room so it is just the two of them

- He asks them random questions to get their mind off of any wandering thoughts

- His tactic is to focus them on looking for answers that require them to think hard so that they can’t think about anything besides the answers

- Beel is also a cuddle bug (literally because he’s a giant fly lol get it lol sorry moving on) so if MC is helped by physical contact he is more than willing to hold them

- After the attack he gives them opportunity to talk BUT he does not force them to say anything

- Has a little note in his phone with lists of triggers for MC, Levi and Belphie and the individual things that seem to help them

- He’s just... so soft and caring and wants everyone to be happy :(((

- I feel like Belphie also has anxiety, especially around loud noises and large crowds

- He isn’t usually awake enough to notice MC’s signs immediately

- But when he does realize he tries to release some of his sloth energy towards them to try and sedate them in a way

- If they don’t like when he does that he vows never to do it again

- But he will gladly use his powers to help MC chill

- The first time they have an anxiety attack he assumed they wouldn’t want him to be near them because of ~the incident~

- So he sends Beel in to try and comfort them

- Is shocked when Beel says MC only wants to see Belphie in that moment, but he is very happy to keep them company

- Has weighted blankets and stuff too that he will wrap around them 

- Makes sure they’re 100% cozy and cuddles them while talking about random subjects in a soft voice

- Afterwards he decides that unless they specifically tell him to go away he won’t leave their side during an attack again

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me asmodeus #obey me fluff #obey me hc #obey me comfort #obey me fluff hc #asmodeus fluff #obey me x reader fluff #satan obey me fluff #obey me mammon #om! mammon #shall we date mammon #om! lucifer #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #swd leviathan #leviathan x reader #om! leviathan #levi swd #obey me satan #satan om #satan obey me #om! swd #om! satan #om! satan fluff #shall we date asmodeus #asmodeous

[sanktnikolais]

this is what love does

A/N: so here is your friendly neighbor zoyalai who rewrote that scene in the Os Kervo main hall (Rule of Wolves chapter 46). Idk man this is what I have in mind and I just wanted to put more monologue and make some drastic changes KJHASDFLKHASDF 

i think their scene in this chapter could have gone better ngl ahjsfkajsf but if you’re okay with canon, i’m absolutely glad you are. I just needed to make this bc my zoyalai heart said so HHAHAHA

as always @wafflesandkruge enabled me again and volunteered to edit this mess so thank you ily  🥺

contains some spoilers for Rule of Wolves so pls beware before reading :> 

Word count: 4169

When the doors to the hall finally closed, Zoya released a breath of frustration. She wanted a moment of total silence, where she could shut out the voices of the people chanting her name or the affirmative tones of the dukes that agreed with Nikolai in nominating her as Ravka’s new queen. A bottle of brandy would be good too, and yet it didn’t materialize out of thin air just as she wanted it to.

          She put a hand to her forehead, feeling the fatigue from the war slowly drain what was left of her strength. This was madness—everything that had happened in the past few weeks. Headache after headache, they kept coming like the barrage of Fjerdan firepower they had just encountered in the battlefield hours ago. 

          But the biggest headache of all was standing right in front of her in all his confident glory, the small grin never leaving his lips even as Zoya scowled at him. Nikolai Lantsov was a royal through and through. And despite the dirt that still smudged on his face, or the dried blood on his collar, he never lost that spark in him, no matter what he said about not wanting to claim the Lantsov bloodline. 

          How could he suddenly expect her to do this on her own terms? 

          "Are you out of your saintsforsaken mind?" Zoya hissed at the smiling king. He still was the king, and would continue to be as far as she was concerned. "I could strike you with lightning right now but I don't think I have the energy left for that."

          Nikolai's grin turned into a wince. "Ah, but I'm always in the right state of mind," he said as he approached her with rather careful steps as if he was testing the waters around her. "And I have never been more sane and sober than now, Zoya."

          The urge to summon lightning at him was still strong, but she shoved the thought down. Ravka didn't need another funeral right now, and especially not for its king. 

          "Say something spiteful." 

          Zoya furrowed her eyebrows. "What?" 

          "You're scowling again, and I think the only way to really know you're angry is when you combine your scowl with harsh words." 

          “Do you really have a death wish?" 

          The infuriating king pretended to think for a moment, his eyes narrowing curiously as he scratched the spot behind his ear. “I think we’ve had enough of staring down death today—”

          Thunder rumbled in the skies as Zoya’s anger flared, and Nikolai flinched. But Nikola, being himself, recovered quickly with a grin. She looked at him in disbelief. It was both baffling and amazing how fast this man could change into one of his masks in just a matter of a second and then he was another person entirely. 

          It was their difference—Zoya didn’t have that skill. She’d never had the capability of pretending. Where she had walls around her heart to hide the girl who once believed in fairy tales and love and other nonsense, Nikolai wore his masks like they were his second skin, and it blended with the boy who just wanted what was best for his country, until he didn’t know who he was anymore. 

          She had never shown any signs of weakness or vulnerability, and even if she did, she would still deny it until she convinced her heart it had never happened. But he was different. He was ready to wear his heart on his sleeve if he wanted to, displaying his emotions at all times. And if he didn’t get anything out of it, he would put his mask back on like nothing happened.

          Zoya hid; Nikolai pretended. If she were to look at it, pretending was better than hiding. 

          “Is it really that bad?” Nikolai asked softly. 

          Yes. 

          No.

          I don’t know.

          If she were still the same person she had been three years ago, she knew she would have accepted the offer right away. But things had changed and progressed since then, and whoever she once was, someone who wanted so much power, was long gone. 

          “We both know I’m not cut out for this, Nikolai,” she replied.

          He didn’t say anything else, and just waited. Zoya huffed in frustration.

          “You’re the diplomat, the charmer.” She gestured in the air vaguely. “Even if you’re not of the royal bloodline, there is no denying that you’ve always had the knack for this. I’m just—”

          She was just what? A general? A Grisha who broke the boundaries of the Orders and achieved the impossible? An actual living saint? 

          Zoya let out a breath. A shadow passed on Nikolai’s face, his expression darkening to some kind of disappointment as if he already knew what she was going to say. But considering everything they had been through, it was definitely safe to say he knew her no matter how good she was at hiding. 

          She still said it anyway. “I’m just no one.”

          “Don’t even go there.”

          “You know I wouldn’t say anything I don’t mean, Nikolai. I was meant to be a soldier, to train and lead armies to their victory and be with them until our very last breaths. It was always like that.” And when Nikolai looked like he was about to contradict her, Zoya beat him to it by raising a finger to silence him. “Don't. There's nothing to say. And don’t start with me by saying you were never meant for the crown, nor the throne. That may have been the case, but you are what Ravka has needed for a long time. You fought for it instead of selling it. Hurt for it, bled for it, almost dying twice just to keep it from the mud. If that’s not what a king does, then I don’t know what I should call it.”

          “A job well done?” he offered, laughing lightly when she gave him a glare that could silence the Second Army in a heartbeat. “I’m merely joking, Nazyalensky.”

          “Can you be serious for once?” Zoya shook her head, heading over to one of the benches and slumping down on it. 

          It was only then she felt the weight of today’s war come back to her, and she found herself not wanting to stand up for a moment. Maybe she would just stay here until  the madness outside passed, though she knew it would take a while. 

          She hunched forward with her eyes trained on her hands clasped together on her knees. She couldn’t bear to look at him as of the moment, and it irked her as it felt like she was hiding yet again and she was already tired of doing that. But when an enormous responsibility was suddenly presented to her, along with the ability to hold power over everything else, didn’t she have the right to hesitate or even think about it? 

          It felt like being appointed to the Grisha Triumvirate again after the war the Darkling waged that almost took Ravka down with it, and they were forced to stand up on their own feet to save the country from drowning right after fighting for their lives. It was never fair, but they braved through it. 

          But at what cost? 

          It doesn’t stop with us. It never does.

          It was what David always used to say, and Zoya found those words haunting her every night after his death, knowing all too well she could have done so much better to protect him and save Genya from her pain. If it didn’t stop with them, what difference would it make if it was her seated on the throne? 

          Ravka was finally free, even if not completely yet, but the light at the end of the tunnel they had long since walked through was already bright as any star could have been. 

          A shadow on the marbled floor caught her eyes, and she looked up just in time to see Nikolai kneel in front of her, taking her hands in his. She almost—almost—wrenched away from him, but then she realized that it was him, the boy who wore his heart on his sleeve and bared everything to her without a second thought. He was looking up at her with such a soft, understanding expression on his face that she wondered if she was seeing right. 

          She blinked, and then she felt as if she was back at the ship again, hearing his confession that took the breath out of her lungs and made her heart beat like it had never been before. 

          And for the past years of her life and the rest that would still come, Zoya was sure she would never feel as frightened as she was now. 

          You promised yourself you would speak your heart when you had the chance, didn’t you? she scolded in her mind. Only the saints knew how much she had waited for this moment between them after the war. She almost didn’t have the chance. So why was she trying to run away from it again?

          He was so, so near, and yet she was still terrified to reach for him. 

          "I can't do this, Nikolai," she said instead. 

          "I will be by your side." Always, was what hung at the end and not said aloud, but she knew he meant it. 

          Zoya felt a small smile on her lips, the urge to touch his face becoming stronger than her will to fight it. What was stopping her? Her pride? Maybe it really was that, but her damn pride had already cost her enough. 

          So she reached a hand up to his cheek, her touch gentle as the breeze that fluttered in the room when her skin met his. 

          Nikolai learned in her hand almost immediately, a content sigh coming from his lips. 

          "I would give my life for Ravka over and over again, as I know you would too," she whispered, her thumb gently brushing his cheekbone. She dropped her hand and put it on top of his. "But I don't think this is what's best for Ravka. We have fought and lived through the wars it suffered. We vowed to drag it from the mud it had fallen into until our last breaths, and now that it can finally stand up on its own, I think it's had its fill of kings and queens and wars. Ravka now needs to listen to its people."

          Zoya knew it sounded ambitious and audacious, but it could be a start, a beginning of a new age. The journey would be a tedious one, as always, but she knew it was worth the try. Ravka was always worth the try, no matter how much it took from them. 

          Silence stretched between them for a moment, and Zoya was thankful for it being a comfortable one rather than a tense pause. She searched his eyes, trying to find the stubborn glint in them as a sign that he was thinking of arguing back. But she didn't see it. 

          There was only the look he had always sent her way, the same one he had when he bared his heart to her in the airship, and she felt her breath hitch in her throat. She really ought to strangle him for making her feel this way. 

          "Spoken like a true queen, I'd say," said Nikolai with a laugh. 

          Zoya scoffed, grateful for the sudden distraction. "I remember that I didn't agree with the proposal of me being the new queen, so that means you're still the king, Your Idiocy." 

          There was a hint of an amused grin at the corner of his lips. "What can I say? When I thought of what's best for Ravka, my mind instantly thought of you." 

          "Didn’t I ask you to be serious even just for once?"

          "You speak as if I were making those words up." 

          "If you know what's best for you and Ravka, you would stop trying to change my mind because my decision would remain the same."

          Nikolai smiled ruefully. "I know." He paused, turning his attention to their joined hands. There was an unusual slump in his shoulders, something she rarely saw him have. He sighed, and then slowly pressed his forehead to her knuckles. "I thought I lost you today," he said quietly. 

             Her heart clenched at the pain in his voice, but she understood it. She almost lost him today too. "You won't be rid of me that easily, Nikolai," Zoya said. 

          He chuckled, and it sounded more in pain than in amusement. Then he drew in a shaky breath before looking back up at her. "When I saw you fall, I thought the worst and I—" He stopped with a dry laugh. "But I guess you're right, I won't be able to get rid of you that easily." 

          She felt a smile curl on her lips. "I should be the one telling you that, but I figure it can go both ways," Zoya said, and before she could make herself hide away again, she gave in and lowered her forehead to touch his. In a soft whisper, she said, "But I've never been more grateful you're still here with me." 

          They were still here, alive and breathing, and she was glad they both got to see the end of the day. When she felt herself plummeting to the ground, she thought that it was her end, and she had accepted it. Exhaustion crept in her bones, her own strength not enough to whip up a draft to cushion her fall. But there was a gust of wind—from Nadia or from Adrik—that caught her, saving her from the deadly impact. 

          And then a voice. His voice, full of worry and hurt and pain, pleading her to wake. He was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes again, and it was during that moment she allowed herself to wish that he would be the one she would wake up to every morning, and the last one she’d see when she fell asleep at night. 

          It had reminded Zoya of the time she saved the king from falling once, back when they were just soldiers fighting for their lives in the Fold, and she wondered if he had been glad to see her when he opened his eyes.

          Nikolai reached a hand up to touch her cheek, his fingers light as if she were the most important thing in the world that he was finally allowed to touch. His eyes never wavered from hers. 

          "I would still choose you, you know," he suddenly said, his voice trembling. "Even if you didn't want to do anything with me anymore. Even if you were in some place else, reassigned to another position. Even if you didn't want me." He tried to smile, but it seemed to take more effort than just not. "I'd still want you. I'd still want you with everything in me."

          Zoya already knew how he felt for her beforehand, his confession back in the ship sharpening into focus in her mind. And yet she still felt like she heard him bare his heart to her for the first time, even when he had already been doing it for years. 

          It would be so easy to tell him that she felt the same; those three words that were hanging between them for a long time begging to be set free. But still a small, terrified part of her held back, and she realized that it was the girl she had once been, the girl who believed in everything before the cruel world took that magic away from her and replaced it with fear. 

          This is what love does. It took away everything, blinded one's logic and reasoning, and even brought pain that no one should feel. Why should people hurt when all they ever wanted was to have and feel the love they deserved? 

          “I know I’ve already told you this on the ship,” Nikolai continued, the rueful smile returning to his lips. “But I wanted you to hear it again, as I almost didn’t have the chance today. No prince and no power could ever make me stop wanting you.” 

          Zoya felt her breath get knocked out from her lungs again, but her doubts and insecurities continued to cloud her, lingering in her as if they were the only ones her heart knew of. “Maybe for now you will want me.” She paused, unexpected tears stinging her eyes. She closed them instead; she didn’t think she could bear looking at him. “But soon enough you will grow to hate me. I’m too sharp. Too angry. Too spiteful.” And you deserve so much better than that. “That’s who I am, Nikolai.”

          “Zoya,” Nikolai murmured.

          She felt his breath ghost over her skin, and yet she still refused to look at him. She couldn’t. But if there was one thing she knew about Nikolai Lantsov, it was his persistence for everything. 

          “Zoya, my love. Look at me,” he said softly, and this time Zoya finally obliged him. 

          An unwanted ache clogged her throat as she met his gaze, bright and warm and open. There was nothing in them except the sincerity he always had around her. In this light, his hazel eyes looked almost golden. He had a golden spirit. Then it struck her, as she remembered the words from a memory a long time ago, that maybe she was finally looking at that boy in her aunt’s story. He had been in front of her all along.

          Nikolai grinned, his eyes brighter than she had ever seen them, and there were tears clouding them as well. “You speak as if I haven’t seen you at your worst,” he said. 

          “You will grow tired of me, Nikolai.”

          “That’s where you’re wrong,” he said. A tear escaped his eye, and she felt it land on her hand. He let out another breathless laugh. “I’d want you for the rest of my life, Zoya.” 

          Something broke inside her chest, and then a tear fell from her eye as well. Her fingers intertwined with his, their hold on each other’s hands tightening as if the other would disappear if they let go. He brought her hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. A few tears slipped on her hand as he did, but he had a look of contentment on his face, like he finally felt he was home. 

          More tears fell from her eyes as she pressed her forehead back to his. For years, she had let herself believe that she wasn’t worthy of being loved, that she was only made to be a soldier, a weapon to be used by her own country. 

          This is what love does. Zoya had been wrong from the start. Because in the end, Nikolai’s love for her was what made him see past her worst self. Every flaw and every scar, he accepted them wholeheartedly. She didn’t know how he’d come to love her, someone who had avoided any signs of kindness and sincerity he gave her, thinking that it would be used against her later. 

          There was no denying the pain they had caused each other through the years, when their words were too sharp and they wounded their hearts and pride before they could even have the chance to think of it. And yet they always came back to each other, their faith in each other still there if not stronger before. 

          Love was never without pain. It would still be felt over and over again because it was real. 

          And if tearing down the walls she had built around herself and giving her heart away would make her vulnerable to hurting, then perhaps it was something she was willing to do. 

          Because Nikolai Lantsov was worth every pain.

          So Zoya took the leap, drawing him up to her and pressing her mouth to his, and everything felt like it finally clicked into place. He acted immediately, and she could almost feel his smile against her lips. After the long days of wanting, her heart was at peace for once. The Fjerdans could have come back and waged war against them again, but she didn’t care about anything but the warm press of his lips.

          When the need for air became stronger than the need for each other’s lips, Zoya pulled away and rested her forehead against his. Her eyes were still clouded with tears when she finally said, “I love you.”

          To say that Nikolai’s grin was bright would have been an understatement. In the dull colored room they were in, he seemed to be glowing. He let out another breathless laugh. “I never thought I would hear those words come from you,” he said, his eyes alight with utter bliss. “But for what it’s worth” —he wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb— “I love you too.”

          Silence fell around them and everything focused on the man in front of Zoya. Perhaps she could stay here in his arms for another while and ignore the looming responsibilities standing right outside the doors. 

          She was his, and he was hers. For now, that was all that mattered. 

          “Is there really nothing that can change your mind?” Nikolai said, breaking the comfortable silence between them, and Zoya wanted nothing more than to strangle him right now.

          “You really had to ruin the atmosphere, didn’t you?” 

          He laughed lightly. “My ruthless Zoya, I am merely joking,” he said, and then his face became serious. For a moment, a small twinge of fear clawed at her heart. “Then what do you think about being a regent? At least until we find someone to rule properly, or until we could transition the monarchy towards something else.” He wrinkled his nose. “I mean, I said I would give you a crown, and this is my last chance to make good on my words even just for a short time. Besides, Regent Nazyalensky does have a nice ring to it.”

          Zoya raised an eyebrow, the idea not occurring to her until now. She furrowed her eyebrows. “You actually suggested something reasonable,” she said, earning a pout from the king. She looked at him with mild concern then, realizing the meaning of having a regent. “Are you really abdicating the throne?” 

          “I’m not joking when I said that the crown was never meant for me, and I think my bloodline really solidified that fact. I realized I was only fighting for this country, not the throne.” He shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And if that’s really your decision, I would be with you in every step of the way. But I hope we can stabilize Ravka until we can have a solution to my....sudden resignation.” 

          “What’s your plan if ever that time comes?” Zoya knew she was asking so many questions, but she couldn’t help it. This man continued to surprise her with his declarations and she had no idea what could come next. “Play pirate again?”

          Nikolai scowled at her, and she wanted to laugh at his expression. “Privateer,” he corrected like always. Then he smiled, his eyes suddenly having a faraway look. “For once, I don’t know. But maybe I would play privateer again as I’ve missed the seas terribly.” Then he turned to her, his expression gentle. “If I ask you to come with me as my first mate then, would you agree?”

          Would she? Zoya had never known anything outside her life in Os Alta. For years, it had been a continuous battle for the freedom of the country that took everything from its people, and she had no time to think about her freedom if she ever did retire from being a soldier. 

          But she could already see glimpses of a future ahead, a quiet and easy life, without any fear of having to go back to war. And in those glimpses, she could see him. 

          Zoya huffed, making it sound as disbelieving as possible. But she already knew her answer. “I’d make a horrible first mate as I easily get seasick,” she said. 

          “Ah, but I don’t mind. As long as you’re there with me,” Nikolai said, taking her hands in his again. He pressed another kiss to her knuckles. “So what do you say, Regent Nazyalensky?”

          The future was something she had no control over, she always knew that. The only way to know what it held was to continue fighting until she reached it, and as long as she had the right person beside her, she knew she would be alright.

          They had always been a team, she and Nikolai, and they would continue to be like that for as long as they lived.

          So without another hint of doubt, Zoya intertwined her fingers with his, squeezing his hand gently. “Alright, dearest privateer,” she said. “Let’s keep this country standing upright until then.”

          And they would. Together.

#zoyalai #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #rule of wolves #rule of wolves spoilers #row spoilers #or that scene in os kervo hall #where i changed a few things #BC WHERE IS MY HUG OR MY SOFT MOMENT BEFORE THE SAPS LEIGH #:SOB: #they just came from the war #and not once did i ever see a moment of relief #that the love of your life survived the war KLJHASFLKJHASDF #i needed this okay #and as i've said i felt a bit off abt the continuation of ravkan monarchy #but queen zoya works too so #i think the best thing they could do was to be regents for a while until they can do something abt the monarchy #or slowly transition it to a democracy #even if it's going to take a while #nik could still joke abt giving her a crown and actually do it KLJHASFKLHJAS #and i just wanted a more emotionally constipated and terrified zoya having inner turmoil abt love #;-; #and they could sail the seas after #IDK MAN THE POTENTIAL OF THIS SCENE #I JUST WANT IT TO DELIVER MORE #SO HAVE THIS MESS PLS

[superphlyduskull]

some core and halfa physiology thoughts

found a page of notes from when i thought i was gonna rewatch dp (apparently i got three episodes in before i realized i just couldn't do it by myself lmao) and i found some interesting thoughts i had on how halfas work!

also look at the single note i took from one of a kind tho dfkhsldfk

One of a Kind

* tucker and danny snuggle…

also might be watching dp with my friends tomorrow so maybehaps ill take more notes when i do that!

ANYWAY

this post got away from me, so im gonna put the rest under the cut in case it’s a bit long lmao

now to the meat of this post!

so i surprised myself by having written this. i have zero memory of it:

* Cores: concentrated ball of ectoplasm inside a ghost, similar to a heart but more difficult to destroy or manipulate. has organelles as well, and there are some that are the same across all ghosts, but some that are different based on core type and ghost type. is kept strong by feeding the ghost’s obsession and/or by being in the ghost zone. 

    * with halfas, its a little different. there hasn’t been much (ethical) research done, but a halfa’s core is sustained both by continually feeding the obsession and keeping the human side healthy (mentally and physically, but mental health in particular). not keeping up with the obsession significantly weakens the core, but it also won’t kill the halfa, just weaken. Same goes for the human health necessities; if physical and mental health are not kept up, the halfa won’t die/end, just be weaker. Both sides have to be neglected  in danny’s case, this gets difficult, as he tends to rely on his ghost powers to feed his obsession (protecting and helping others)

i havent thought extensively about cores and core types yet, but i picture cores with at least four organelles: one for holding the form together, one that determines what their appearance is like, one that contains energy for their element, and one that harnesses the energy they get from their obsession or other sources (like ambient ectoplasm or emotion). and some pretty standard core types ive seen around are ice, fire, electricity, plant/nature. also time and space

ive always had a hard time figuring out whether i vibe more with danny having an ice core or an electricity core; electricity bc of how he died, and ice bc of all that stuff with frostbite and whatnot. then i thought, maybe danny’s a weird case, because he is in every other way, isnt he? there are two other halfas, and he at the very least came about through very different means than they did. i subscribe to the hc that vlad isnt “as much” of a halfa/is less stable bc he didnt half die immediately/died less than danny, which makes danny even more different from him

and from that thought, i arrived at: what if danny has a multi-element core? like one element is dominant, but the organelle responsible for his core type just kinda grabs a little of an element if he has a strong enough attachment to it. like he is primarily an Ice core (for some reason? still don’t understand the choice for that in canon but what else is new), but because of his death, his core latched on to Electricity a bit as well. and it gives him the potential to have a bit of Time if clockwork mentors him. i also think Space would be plausible, both bc of his love of outer space and the fact that he died in a portal. this makes him incredibly op but like..... he was already, why not ramp it up a notch?

OH AND ALSO its like that because he’s A) a new ghost, which i hc are more susceptible to change as they get used to being a ghost, B) an adolescent at the time of the accident, which is a time of turbulent change for humans and C) was literally between dimensions when he died, which is as about as symbolic of change as you can get!!

now for my thoughts on halfa physiology! not sure i fully vibe with what i wrote before, but there are two hcs that i like:

- if he takes care of one form and then some, that “and then some” bleeds over to his other half and he doesn’t need to care specifically for it. like if he overfeeds his obsession, he doesn’t really need to worry much about eating or drinking or breathing depending on how much he overfed. if he can’t get to the ghost zone for the ambient ectoplasm or feed his obsession, overeating will do just fine

- the above, except that only works for so long. one half can only compensate for the other for so long. he can go a lot longer without than a full ghost or human, but eventually he’ll need food or ambient ectoplasm

- surprise third option: his ghost half can override his human half’s needs, but not the other way around. he doesn’t really need to eat or brink or breath anymore (even if it makes him uncomfortable) as long as he’s keeping up with his ghostly needs, but ignoring the needs of his ghost half isn’t sustainable and will cause great distress, madness, or death

i may have accidentally stolen these from the many fics ive read over the past year, but if anyone has any input i’d love to hear your thoughts!

#sorry if this is a nightmare to read lmao #just lmk if it is #im not sure how long the paragraphs will look on mobile #i can try to make it easier to read if anyone wants me to! #but anyway this post ended up waaay longer than intended #i was just havin a good time writing it #danny phantom #ghost core #ice core #clockwork #ghost physiology #halfa #halfa physiology #headcanon

[jjyusmile]

room for one more? | lee juyeon

lee juyeon | room for one more?

pairing: lee juyeon x {gender-neutral} reader!

word count: 5k

notes: this is the kinda fluff that everyone wants, be prepared. a smidgen of angst bc why not and also slightly suggestive but we don’t get into the ~hmm hmm~ if you know what I mean? lee juyeon holds a massive spot in my heart and i wanna show how goddamn great he is in my mind so here ya go.

_______________________________________________________________________

The wind slowly brush your hair across your face with another gust setting it back into place – you were content. Every summer your family came down to the beach for a weekend of camping. An annual tradition. A tradition that slowly turned from thirteen families coming together for a weekend, to just you and your twelve friends for a night by the beach. You were around 17 when your parents stopped tagging along, with the boys’ parents slowly following suit. You didn’t mind so much though; some thought you were strange to hang out with twelve boys, but they were like brothers to you. Except one…

The crackling of the fire brought you back to reality, as tusks of smoke gradually rose from the open flame. Younghoon and Sangyeon were chopping vegetables and grilling meat, the smell made your mouth water as you swigged from your cup to fill the empty void in your stomach. It didn’t take long for Hyunjae to continue filling your cup further from the crate of beer he’d gotten from his uncle as a graduation present. This was the second year that your parents hadn’t joined; last year, you had gotten quite carried away with the strength of your alcohol tolerance, as Hyunjae loved to remind you.

“You don’t need to fill it up you know, I can barely get two sips in before its filled to the top again” you grumbled, holding back a smile at his cheeky grin.

His hand slowly retreated away from your cup. “Sorry, cupcake. Or should I start to call you Budweiser – King of Beers?” he retorted, his eyebrow lifting to taunt you further.

Hyunjae had called you cupcake ever since he and his mother found you hiding in their pantry at his 7th birthday party, icing smeared around your mouth reinforcing the evidence at the scene of the crime. You huffed and shoved his shoulder – he began to lose his balance and fell off the log backwards from where you were both perched on it. Your laughter filled the small area that you and the boys occupied, a sound unbeknownst to said boys. Except one…

You could feel his gaze, as he sat beside Sunwoo, humming along to the inaudible song he was practicing on his guitar. You turned to meet his gaze, which he quickly dodged and turned his attention back to the instrument in his hand.

Oh, Juyeon… You kept your gaze on him just for a moment longer than usual. His hair glistened ever so slightly under his cap in the light from the flame. You were sat directly opposite him, a prime position for the attention you hoped from him, but never got.

Your heart swelled a little, knowing that he had been looking, but gradually deepened once more when you realized he never actually wanted to be caught. The weight of the log shifted as a figure occupied the space that Hyunjae had just fallen from. You turned to face Changmin, who returned your gaze with a knowing look. He knew how you felt, he was the only one who you had spoken to about Juyeon. About how frustrating it was that the boy who used to sneak into your tent as his parents fought would now avoid you like the plague.

You were close to each of the boys, but Juyeon and Changmin held a special place in your heart. Their own life-long friendship didn’t mind being interrupted when you entered the classroom as the new student with no friends. Walking into your new class, your slightly discoloured dungarees and Power Rangers lunch box in hand made the girls turn away from you – you didn’t fit in with them, at all. But the empty space on the table with those two boys, at the back of the classroom, opened your heart to realise there was good in the world for a six-year-old. They were your first friends, and that held so much importance for you. This feeling was confirmed, 13 years later, by the slight nudge of Changmin’s shoulder onto yours, followed by a sip from his own cup.

“You know,” he began… “you can always approach him.” His eyes reflected in the orange flickers too; if you weren’t his best friend and subsequent pain in the ass, you probably would’ve fallen for him. His shy smile but courageous personality shone like the stars in the sky. You smiled at him gratefully, with a nod of acknowledgement, but not necessarily understanding. You knew you could approach him, you’ve known that for the last year or so that Juyeon started to avoid one-on-one interaction with you. It began when your Friday night sleepovers turned into just Changmin turning up at your doorstep with the latest horror movie he could find and a tray of freshly baked cupcakes, courtesy of Hyunjae’s mum, Mrs. Lee.

Sighing, you stood from your crouched position by the fire pit announcing that you’d just be a minute, before heading the opposite direction to the commotion you could hear near the tents. Changmin went back to helping the rest of the boys put up their temporary homes for the night, and you followed the shore to a quiet spot where you could watch the sunset. You could feel a particular set of eyes on you once more, but you were too tired to do anything about it. If he wanted to interact with you, he’d have to do it himself.

A cluster of rocks was placed perfectly in the sand for you to perch on as the sun turned the sky from a luminous orange to a dusty rose with stars randomly sparking across the skyline. You took your phone out of the kangaroo pouch of your hoodie to play some music, but halted at your lock screen. Your favourite smiles looked back at you as the picture of Juyeon and Changmin appeared – their eyes crinkled like crescent moons with their smiles wide, standing in front of the scary ride they had just pledged to go on at the funfair. This picture meant more to you than any other, because an excitable Changmin’s attention was on the ride itself, but Juyeon was focused on the person who took the picture. Your heart swelled again – a little more this time at the fond memory of your trip to the fair. You quickly locked the phone again before you let your emotions get to you. The boys cared about you a lot, and automatically knew when you had cried from the puffiness of your eyes and blotchy cheeks.

The faint sound of Sangyeon’s call for food grabbed your attention, and you realized time had passed quickly. You were sat alone staring at the sky, with a fond memory but heavy heart. You knew you didn’t have a shot at grabbing the food you wanted as the boys crowded around the make shift food table like scavenges, as you approached the table you were proved right. But your longing and heavy heart meant that you didn’t have the energy to care. Changmin reached over and placed a chicken thigh on your plate with a big smile that washed away some of your heavy emotion; you returned the smile thankfully and scooped the last of the rice onto your plate and grabbed the final pair of chopsticks that remained. You saw the boys munching on the corn on the cobs that you brought specifically for yourself, but again, you didn’t have much energy despite Changmin’s attempts. They were your favourite, but it was your own fault for walking away from these demanding and ravenous boys.

You took your spot next to Changmin once more. He and Chanhee were arguing over which part of the chicken tasted the best, an argument they’ve pondered many times. Their light-hearted attempt to spark conversation with the group distracted you for a moment. But the sudden weight that made its way onto your plate grabbed your attention. A perfectly charred corn, exactly how you liked it. You were quick enough to catch the figure that continued their route behind you, too familiar for you not to recognise. But Juyeon sat back in his spot and pretended like nothing had happened. But it did happen, and that’s what confused you the most.

With your attention captured, the content of your plate was left long enough to go cold. The change in the sky made the flames enhance the melanin of his skin that made you want to stick your finger in it. The way his oversized grey t-shirt rose a little as he sipped at the beer Sunwoo had passed to him, and the way his baseball cap was angled slightly that caused a shadow on his jawline was too much to ignore. It took a few moments for him to notice you staring, by that time his stare was just as intimidating – you wondered whether you should have chosen a nicer top and fluffy beige cardigan that you originally picked over the oversized sweatshirt and jeans you threw on moments before Hyunjae had picked you up. His stare softened slightly, a moment that went unnoticed by you - it seems you forgot that the oversized jumper you were wearing was the hoodie that Juyeon thought he had lost. Luckily, his growing smile was overshadowed by his cap once more as he turned away from you.

The conversation beside you was getting more intense, but you stared back at the contents of your plate. What does this mean?

The thought didn’t leave you for hours. You had said goodnight to the boys just after midnight, ensuring to avoid any eye contact with the one that was clouding your mind at this very moment. Changmin followed you to your tent to make sure you were okay.

“It definitely wasn’t the chicken, right? I told Chanhee that the thigh was the best part but I can’t win this argument if it made you sick!” His doe eyes concluded that as joking as he sounded, he was absolutely serious about his argument.

You chuckled lightly. “I’m okay, I promise.” Your small smile brought a wave of relief over Changmin. It warmed your heart to know how much he cared about you, and you hoped he knew it was reciprocated. Reaching over to kiss his cheek, you hugged him tighter than normal. “I love you, Q-t. Thank you for taking care of me.”

The slight tinge of his ears made both of you giggle, with his hands flying to cover the evidence. But his smile told you that he loved you too.

The noise outside of your tent began to quiet as Changmin made his way back to the fire pit, whilst giving out to Hyunjae’s “mWOHASEYO?!” that could have been heard across the ocean. These boys would be the death of you, but you wouldn’t replace them for the world.

You had taken your parents double sleeping bag this year, as your single one made you feel trapped despite the size of the three-person tent. After changing into your bicycle shorts and baggy shirt, you snuggle into the covers as the rain began to fall, splatters echoing across the outside of your tent. The squeal of Changmin told you that the boys were getting soaked and you did nothing but laugh at their misery. The bustling outside of your tent made you forget about your worries for the time being, as the calmness of the rain filled your ears. Hyungseo, Joonyoung were shouting for Youngjae to grab more beers beside your tent as they made their way into their own. You knew somewhere that Hyunjoon, Haknyeon and Chanhee were squealing just as loud as Changmin as their clothes got drenched.

Speak of the devil, Changmin’s shadow came toward your tent looking for a haven. The quickness of the zip made you sit up and shift the sleeping bag and your belongings that scattered across the tent so that you could make room. As he stepped into the tent, you continued your task, but played with a threatening tone. “I swear to god, Q, if you even get a single droplet of water on me or my side, I will absolutely, one hundred percent chop off your –“

“Room for one more?”

Your eyes snapped up in shock. You were met with melting brown ones that you wish you could forget

Closing the zipper to hide from the rain, Juyeon’s eye line slowly levelled with yours, a small smile on his face. Your breath hitched in your throat. The look of fear in your eyes made his grin disappear, replacing his once happy expression with a look of concern.

“You – How? – Why are you here, Juyeon? Don’t you have your own tent?” You hated how you stuttered. The habit you had gotten out of when you hit puberty only returned when you were nervous. A complete giveaway to the person you were trying to appear stern towards.

That moment, his eyes flickered everywhere that wasn’t your face as he rambled that “Sunwoo left the zipper open and the rain flooded our tent. He’s hopped in with Sangyeon and Hoon. But there was no room anywhere else. I can go and ask Changmin or Hyunjoon if they want to sleep here instead. I – I’m sorry if –” The faltering noise in your throat made him stop his muttering and look you in the eye once more.

“No – uh, it’s okay. There’s enough room, I guess. I only have one sleeping bag but I guess if we open it up it can reach over to the other side of the tent…” you stammered. This was not how you had planned to talk to him for the first time in a year. You thought you’d be screaming, crying, defeated. This was much different – but you took this as an opportunity to reconcile… hopefully.

Juyeon just nodded in response, and made his way over to the edge of the tent opposite you. Just as he used to when you were younger. There were two things that Juyeon came to your tent for: when his parents argued or during a thunderstorm. The latter thought combined with the rain outside made his original explanation seem a little skewed. The sudden nostalgia made your tense body relax a small bit, and you huddled back under the cover while passing the other side toward Juyeon. The slight tug told you he was under it and you could feel his body warmth immediately. But his presence made you feel more claustrophobic than your old sleeping bag ever did. Your nostrils filled with the scent you had longed for in all comfort-seeking situations – a subtle hint of ocean spray mixed with autumn leaves. It’s why you loved to be by the ocean, it reminded you of him.

Finding the silence deafening, he spoke up. “How was your corn?” You could see a slight smile make its way to his lips, with the limited light from the moon and reflecting different shades of blue through the roof of the tent.

“It was good. Thank you, I was devastated when I saw you scavenges had taken them all.” I admitted, a little too open in emotion, and completely forgetting the last year of silence. He chuckled lightly at your honesty – “I figured. Sangyeon had charred that one perfectly, so I snagged it before anyone else could get it.”

Your cheeks became hot at the realization that he meant he hadn’t taken it for himself, he was thinking of you. But the thought made you more confused than ever, and the moment of reconciliation slowly faded as did your energy. It was minutes before either of you tried conversation again, but again it died as quickly as it started. You were frustrated. 

Why has it come to this? What did I do?

But the only person that knew the answer to that, was lying a few feet away from you. Just do it.

“Juyeon?”

He hummed in response, to show he was listening to what you had to say.

Here goes.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” It came out quickly, a little too quickly. But the pain behind the question was no longer masked. And it made Juyeon lean up onto his side, leaning on his elbow as he looked down at what he believed was your eyes, the lack of light making it difficult to completely concentrate. That, and the loaded question you had just asked.

“I – I don’t know.” He admitted it calmly. But you were far from calm.

“You don’t know? You don’t know why you look the other way when I’ve tried to grab your attention. Or why Changmin has turned up to my house every Friday night since last summer all by himself.” You wanted to continue, but you were completely riled by the three worded, empty answer he gave to you.

“I’m sorry. That – I didn’t mean that I don’t know.” He began, drawing your attention back to the sincerity in his eyes. “I meant that I don’t know how to explain myself. It’s hard to talk about feelings when you’re too clouded in your own head.”

Feelings.

He continued, “I guess I’ll start with an apology…”

You were shocked. The candor in his tone made you want to never look away. It made you wonder why you had never asked in the first place. You were just as bad as he was by neglecting to confront the situation. You sighed and sat up, turning the small light on that hung from the ceiling.

As the light illuminated the tent, his sharp features became much more apparent. Looking down at him, you had switched roles. Now he looked intimidated by your gaze, just as you did when he looked down at you. But that moment ended with a crash of thunder and the lightning that lit up the whole tent like it had been struck.

The sudden flash scared Juyeon so much that he had jumped up and accidently hit the light in the process, flooding the tent again in darkness. Your hand went to your mouth in half shock, half laughter as you witnessed this grown man being scared by thunder just as much as he did when he was seven. His eyes were alert and you could hear his erratic breathing that made you want to comfort him just as you did back then.

Taking his hand and drawing variations of circles with your thumb you knew would bring him back to the present. But the charge of your skin touching was much more powerful than the lighting flash itself. It made you your eyes snap up at one another, now level as you both sat up in the tent. As your small hands held his right one, the warmth continued to radiate from his body into yours. It almost set your heart on fire.

The shock wore off and you started to do what you had intended as if nothing had happened. With one hand holding his hand in place, and the other drawing circles with your thumb to calm him down. It took him longer than usual to get his breathing steady, as the feeling of your electrified skin elongated the process. In the darkness, he could see your concentration on his hand which warmed his heart – it had been so long since you paid this much attention to him, let alone look his way. In reality, you both missed each other’s longing glances which was clouded by the thoughts of anxiety about your situation.

“I think – I’m okay now…” Juyeon accentuated his breathing to prove his point. But you didn’t stop, because you didn’t want to. The feeling of his hand filled the emptiness in your heart ever since he stopped talking to you. You loved Changmin, but nobody could fix this void except for Lee Juyeon. He noticed your hesitancy and took it upon himself to guide you back down under the covers. This time he was much closer, and he didn’t let go of your hand. You were content, you both were. The longing you had felt slowly faded as you had settled back into your reality together. Now you didn’t need to talk about it anymore. Anything that had happened was long forgotten by now.

You laid there together for a moment. Peacefully facing each other, Juyeon’s breath that fanned your face made you realise the proximity between you. But any anxiety washed away the moment his hand made its way to your thigh, drawing small circles. Just as you had moments ago. It had taken you this long to realise the size of his hands; the quick rate his chest rose and fell – you were focused on every detail of that moment.

“Hey,” he whispered, to which you hummed in response. “I’m sorry.”

You took a moment to take in the words you had wanted to hear for so long. 

He is sorry. Do you want to know why? Is it best to forget about it?

Your silence made Juyeon act nervously, as he used that hand that continued to draw circles on your thigh to draw your body even closer to his. His hand shifted your head so it fit perfectly in the crook of his neck. The sudden action caused a strong waft of his scent to drown you and bring immediate comfort to your anxious figure. The way your lips grazed his collarbone brought a shiver over him, a moment you will relish in for a long time. Your power over him going unnoticed until now.

These actions occurred within the space of a minute. The final action being the feeling of his lips on your forehead as he applied more pressure than normal, as his emotions got the better of him. Your thoughts clouded once more as you questioned the motivation behind the kiss – the only sound drawing you back to reality was the rain that hit the tent at a force.

You pulled back to look at him, but not far enough that his arms moved from around you. You were locked in place by the feel of his embrace and the passion that shone from his eyes. Your questioning look made him put his emotions into words, as they poured out of him rushed and stammered.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. I am sorry, I really am. I can’t explain how I feel completely, at this precise moment. The fact that you’re this close to me is extremely nerve-wracking. But I’m sorry that I’ve avoided you. I just couldn’t face you after I admitted it to myself. I can’t tell you when it began, and I don’t remember exactly when I felt the need to distance myself; it was a long time coming and I handled it badly, I know.”

As he paused to take a breath, you noticed how his hand ran back down to your thigh, drawing circles at a much quicker rate now to mirror his apprehension. The feeling ignited your insides and sent you into overdrive but his gaze was so overpowering that you couldn’t look away.

“There were times when I saw you messing around with Hyunjae that I just wanted to drag him away by the collar. Or if we were in a coffee shop and the barista drew your name with a small heart beside it, I saw red. Or even Changmin. He couldn’t hurt a soul. But it hurt me to see the way that you’d lie together on the sofa while we watched a movie every Friday. You’d team up to throw popcorn at me, while I tried my best to focus on the movie rather than the way his hand lingered a little too long on your hip to steady you from laughing.”

He took in another breath. You were unmoving. What is he saying?

“It has been years since I started feeling these things. And I tried to suppress them. I really did. But you captivated every moment of my day – from when I opened my eyes to the good night call we had before going to sleep. Even in my sleep, I could see your face. Just like now. I thought I needed to distance myself… but it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

As his hand came up to touch your cheek, you became lost in his words completely. The thought that he reciprocated any feelings you had were never possible until this moment. As your eyes traced his facial features, from the small feathered earring that hooked onto his earlobe, to the sharp contour of his cheek bones, to the honesty that melted into his eyes, drawing your attention finally to his lips that spoke the next few words.

“And like that, I fell in love with you.”

The reality of his emotions burst through you as your eyes shut and Juyeon closed the gap between you. His plush lips slotted perfectly against yours, as if they were carved specifically for one another. The touch wasn’t rushed, but you felt his desperation as his lips opened and guided yours with him. The slowness of his movements and the feeling of his tongue exploring your mouth made you melt into him; your hands moving from between you to the nape of his neck, as his pulled at your hips to bring as much contact as possible.

You pulled away first to gaze at him with as much love and passion as you could muster, with a lot of it taken from the sincerity of the kiss. You merely whispered the words he wanted to hear before he drew you back in again.

I love you, Lee Juyeon.

You woke a few hours later as the light began to shine through into the tent. You weren’t sure how long you had stayed up last night – a mixture of kisses, soft touches and moments that you had never thought possible. It was all followed by hours of talking; back to your reality.

A soft snore caught your attention and brought you back to being in Juyeon’s arms. At some point during the night the sleeping bag had been thrown off of your snuggled figures, with the warmth radiating from the leg he had swung over yours. His other leg wedged its way between your own, like a high score on Tetris.

Your gaze rested on his relaxed face, the worry visible last night had been completely erased and replaced with a look of content – one that likely mirrored your own. As your nose lightly tickled under his jaw, he breathed in deeply telling you that your sudden desire to take in this moment had stirred him awake. His movement shifted his weight from beneath you to on top of you, with his head now rested in your neck, his lips slowly trailing against your collarbone. Feeling his lips curve into a smile made your own twitch upwards, too.

Laying there in that moment, the last year vanished. It hurt you to think he distanced himself because of this, but you knew you could work it out. You always did.

Your attention shifted onto the pressure against your thigh and you realised that this journey might not be the easiest you’ve ever taken.

“Juyeon!” you squealed, as the realization dawned on him and the sound of his laughter filled the tent. “Again, really?!”

He shot up onto his elbows to lean over you, as he did what felt like days ago. The fluffiness of his hair made you want to run your hands through it. So, you did. His eyes slimmed into the crescent moons that you knew and loved as he took a moment to stare down at you, the glistening of his eyes filling you with adoration. With a quick peck, he got up and began to sort through the clothes that were flung across the tent in a hurry. The mesmerising curvature of his back distracted you from sorting out your own clothes. He began to hand you items of clothing one by one, implying that you were about to leave the tent. Something you hadn’t thought about doing. At this point, you’d neglected to listen to the chaos that ensued outside – you looked back at Juyeon with a slight fear.

He chuckled, the rings that adorned his slender fingers brought a chill to you as he caressed your face. “They had to find out at some point, love.”

Love. You shivered, not from the cold this time.

With a few deep breathes, and ensuring your clothing was on in the correct and appropriate manner, Juyeon took your hand and unzipped the tent with the other.

As the wind blew sharply, the chattered died down from the group of boys that had circled the fire pit with cups of coffee in their hands. Their faces turned from excitement to shock, with a screaming that came from none other than Changmin filled your ears as he looked down at your intertwined hands.

You and Juyeon looked down at what they were staring at, and then again at each other with a small, knowing smile that only you two shared. The shock quickly morphed into shouts and hollers as Juyeon led you to the circle to join them.

You took a seat between him and Changmin, who handed you a cup of steaming coffee accompanied by a wink. You quickly shoved him at the shoulder for his cheekiness, but turned your attention to your coffee when you realised Juyeon had placed an arm around your shoulder. You looked at him with complete adoration to which he returned with a wink and a squeeze of your shoulder. Unlike Changmin, he didn’t get a shove – just a flustered look that made you direct your attention back to your coffee, as a smile made its way to your face, and it didn’t plan on leaving.

#leejuyeon #juyeon #juyeon fluff #juyeon scenario #the boyz #the boyz fluff #the boyz scenario #juyeon best friend #the boyz au #juyeon au #ji changmin #tbz #tbz fluff #tbz scenario #tbz scenarios

[random-mha-thoughts]

Special (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Anon asked:  "todoroki angst: reader is feeling anxious about their relationship. like, wow he deserves so much better why did he pick me, all that stuff. reader thinks he deserves someone like momo, maybe?? and reader kinda distances herself and tries to push him and momo together and he notices and... idk where to go from here. delete this if it doesn't work :)"

Genre: Angst to fluff/comfort

(Submission 3/3 for Todoroki angst in my ask box!)

Word count: 1,835

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​

a/n: Thanks for the submission anon!  I hope I did it justice!

This one overlaps very well with the last one I did, and I was considering combining the two ideas, but I think this one deserves to stand on its own.  I wanted to use this to send a message, so pay close attention to it and I hope you all walk away from this feeling better because I really love all of you and I care about you and you’re all special and yeah I’m rambling now.

I’ll be taking a break from Todoroki and angst (bc I’ve been giving him A LOT of attention and it’s not fair), so the next post will probably be either Bakugou or Shinsou fluff, leaning more towards Bakugou.

Also Todo only has two modes, flirty or awkward, there’s no inbetween. aka canon or yatoverse what

Buy me a coffee?

"Oogling your boyfriend again?" Uraraka shoves my shoulder with hers.

I force a smile at her before turning my attention back to the sparring match.  Todoroki is up against Tokoyami and Dark Shadow, managing to hold his own as everyone knows he would.  He didn't want to let the match end in the first second, so he promised not to go too overboard with his powers so Tokoyami can practice more.  The thought makes me proud, to know I'm dating one of the top students in our class, or even our grade.

It also makes me feel small.

My quirk isn't the strongest, all I can do it manipulate the ground around me, almost like an Earth quirk, but I'm still too weak to do anything fantastic with it.  I was told that if  I try hard enough, I can manipulate metal, or even sand and soil, but I'm still weak.  On top of all that I'm not even the best fighter.  I don't have amazing combat skills or strategy or aggression or charisma.  I'm just...me.

I feel myself visibly slouch, the dark thoughts eating at my energy a I continue observing my kick-ass boyfriend.  How can I even be a match for him when I'm not even good enough?

Todoroki finally uses enough fire to blind Dark Shadow into submission and freeze Tokoyami at the same time, effectively finishing the match.  He lets out a cool breath and looks out into the crowd, the first person he meets eyes with is me and he smiles.

I can't help but melt at such a soft gesture and I blush, averting my eyes to the ground as I feel him approaching through the crowd of students.  "Were you watching me, love?" he whispers so only I can hear.

My eyes widen at the close proximity.  "You did really well.  I'm proud of you."

A warm hand cups my cheek and I meet his gentle gaze.  "When it's your turn, I'll make sure to cheer you on."

His words make my stomach churn.  I don't want to fail in front of him, he'll think I'm weak, if he doesn't already.  "I'll do my best," I reply less than enthusiastically.

Thankfully, Todoroki isn't too perceptive.  Instead, he motions for us to start walking.  "Shall we go to lunch then?"

We gather our lunch and sit with Midoriya and his friends, and I motion for Momo and Tsuyu join us as well.  Momo sits across from Todoroki and Tsuyu sits on my other side.  While everyone else talks, I simply observe and listen to everyone's conversation, Todoroki on my right side sits closer to me and occasionally grips my hand under the table.  They're all more or less discussing tactics they learned from their individual training, and I don't usually speak unless someone asks me directly.  I tune into the conversation on my side of the table.

"It's pretty amazing how you were able to tone down your quirk, Todoroki-kun," Momo comments, "I would've thought you would have to tie one of your arms behind your back to handicap yourself."

"No, I've trained enough to have precise control, though my left side still needs some work," Todoroki responds casually.

As the three of them continue, I take a final bite of my rice dish and stand to throw out my tray.  "I'm just going to the bathroom," I mumble, feeling as though none of them care anyway.  I dump the rest of my food out in the garbage and slip to the other side of the room behind a column, peering out from behind to watch my boyfriend and Momo interacting with each other.

Ever since they were paired up to face Aizawa a week ago, I've noticed a chemistry between them that I can't deny.  It got me thinking deeply, I figure they would make such a power couple; they're both intelligent, bright, serious, charismatic, top of the class, and they have useful quirks.  They worked so well together, it got me thinking how useless I am.  Todoroki deserves someone like her as a partner, not worthless little me.  I've been trying to push them together in hopes that Todoroki would develop feelings for her and break up with me, or I would break up with him if I notice their relationship becoming something more.  At least no one would get hurt that way.

"Hey, (y/n), what are you doing alone here?"  Ojiro startles me from behind, his tail slightly brushing my arm.

I smile at the blond.  "Oh, nothing, just..."  My words trail off as I realize I don't have a proper excuse for being here other than being a creepy stalker.

He quirks an eyebrow.  "Is there something wrong between you and Todoroki that you're watching him secretly like this?"

My face turns red in shame.  "N-No, nothing like that.  He's been really great to me, nothing to question him about."

Ojiro flicks his tail about, reading my expression carefully.  "But you don't seem very happy.  I know it's not my place to say anything, but wouldn't it be better if you just talk to him about what's going on?  He's not exactly a mind reader."

I look back at the two.  Momo's covering her mouth and laughing at something Todoroki must have said.  Though my chest hurts a little, I force myself to believe it's a push in the right direction.  "I think things will work out the way they're supposed to be in the end."

.

After class, I'm asking Momo about her notes from today when Todoroki comes up behind me to walk back to the dorms together as we usually do.  He's about to wrap an arm around my waist when I side step and turn my body to face him.  "Hey, I have something I have to get from the store downtown."  He opens his mouth and I know he's going to offer to come with me, but I interject before he has a chance to, "Can you walk Yaomomo back?  I kept her back for a while and she has no one to walk with."

His eyebrows slightly furrow, but he nods and says nothing.  I squeeze his arm and take off down the hall, hoping they don't see me as they walk out.  Instead of going all the way to town, I slip into the nearest convenience store.  I have a very strong urge to drown my feelings in junk food, grabbing a few bags of chips, cups of noodles, and packs of chocolate.  At least I know food will always accept me even when I'm not strong.

I trudge back to the dorms, drop my bags in my room, and change into my lounge clothes before taking a container of chips with me up to the roof.  The sky already starts getting dark, a gradient of reds, pinks, and oranges streaking across the sky towards the setting Sun while dark blue chases it from the other side.

I open the circular container and start eating the chips from the top, letting the brisk air brush my cheeks as I sit at the raised ledge, my legs dangling off.

The faint crescendo of footsteps ascending the stairs calls my attention from the sky's colors. "You'll spoil your dinner like that," Todoroki's voice rings out as he sits next to me, his back to the Sun.

I look down at the already half-eaten cylinder.  "Wasn't planning on eating anyway," I mutter, stuffing another one in my mouth.

"So I could spend time with Yaoyorozu instead?"

I stop mid-chew.  Busted.  "How do you know?"

He scoots over closer to me.  "I didn't notice at first, but then today when you didn't let me hold you, I was hurt."

Finally meeting his eyes, I can see the sorrow in them.  It made me feel guilty that I've been pushing him away.  "I'm sorry."

"And I noticed you've been disappearing a lot more lately."  His icy hand brushes a strand of hair behind my ear.  "Is there something wrong?  Did I do something?"

I bite my lip.  "No, I've just been thinking.  You and Momo would make a really great couple."  Saying it out loud leaves a sour taste in my mouth and forms a lump in my throat.

"But I'm with you, why would I want her?"  he asks, genuinely innocently.

I smile sadly at him.  "You deserve better than me, someone like her who you can work well with, someone on your level.  Not someone like me."

"What about you?"

A shaky breath rattles through me as I inhale.  "I'm...weak.  I still need a lot of work, and I don't even have anything special about me other than my quirk.  You'd be better off with someone way better than me."

Todoroki's silent as he takes my words in, his expression unreadable as he stares down at the rooftop floor.  I continue eating my chips in hopes of swallowing the lump there.

"Well," he finally speaks up, "I know what you're the best at."  I turn to face him questionably, and he gives me a soft smile as he stares into my eyes lovingly.  "Cuddles.  You're the perfect height for me to hug you and kiss your forehead."  He hand brushes my hair again.  "You have the best ears, because you patiently listen to all my problems, all my stresses, all my pent up feelings."  His fingers move down to entwine into my own.  "Your hand fits perfectly in mine to squeeze gently."  He plants a surprise kiss on my nose.  "You have the cutest nose to peck.  And most importantly," he exhales, "The most emotive, beautiful eyes to get lost in.  And you want to know something?  No one else has your unique set of features."

I can feel the tears well up with every genuine word he says.  The way he's so honest and soft about it makes my chest swell with emotions I can't place.

"Anyone can train hard enough to have a strong quirk, it just takes others a little longer to develop, and just the right push.  But only you have your special personality," he continues.  "Do you remember why I asked you to be mine?  No one else is as as cutely stubborn, or as hardworking as you.  No one else's laugh or smile is as contagious as yours."  He raises our joined hands to kiss the back of mine.  "Everyone may be unique, but your brand of unique is the only one I would love to be with, and I don't care about your quirk or how strong you think you are.  Because at the end of the day," he pulls me into his chest, "What really matters is you being here with me like this, not how you fight a villain."

I clutch him close to me, shaking as tears spill from my eyes.  "You're so good to me."

Hands gently brush my hair, "Because I'm all yours, love.  And I only want you."

#todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki angst #angst #angst to fluff #comfort #todoroki imagine #todoroki scenario #gender neutral reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

[trensu]

Episode 33: The One where WWX Needs to Stop Touching Swords of the Un-Sexy Kind

So we start the episode with MAXIMUM PAIN

JC is crying and shaking and clinging to jyl’s dead body and I WANT TO DIE

Plus side, wwx grabbed the guy who stabbed jyl and choked him to death

Now wwx is surrounded by all the stupid idiots that comprise the cultivator world and they’re all hurling insults and accusations at him and MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY IS JUST HAVING A BREAKDOWN

We get a shot of lwj who is fighting tooth and nail against the cultivators but he’s surrounded and can’t get to wwx

Also, just so you all know, LWJ HAS THE BEST FIGHT SCENES. He just stopped two blades at once and knocked the guys down 

Oh noooo, wwx pulls out his demon flute and starts playing! Resentful energy starts going even more crazy!

Lwj: wei ying, stop!

EVERYTHING IS AWFUL

AND IT’S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE

Wwx is crying as he’s playing and i’m DYING INSIDE

Oh no! Wwx just spat a bunch of blood

Lwj sees him spit out the blood

AND SUDDENLY THEIR SONG IS PLAYING ON A CELLO, ALL SLOW, AND IT HURTS SO MUCH TO HEAR IT PLAYED THIS WAY

While lwj is distracted by the sight of his soulmate breaking down some ASSHOLE ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND AND CUTS HIS ARM

He takes him down and then slides effortlessly into another attack that manages to legit slice some dude’s neck open

OUR BOY IS NOT HOLDING BACK AT ALL, FOLKS

SO FAR LWJ’S MAD FIGHTING SKILLS ARE THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME TOGETHER

Oh no

Wwx just pulled out Plot Device 2 after getting the high ground, and lwj is watching him from below as he does this

Wwx: since you want it so much, come take it with your own ability

And he just chucks it to the crowd

We get to see all the greed and desire for power from all the cultivators here as they start cutting each other down to get their hands on this thing

It disgusts me

Now wwx is laughing BUT IT IS NOT HAPPY LAUGHTER. IT IS DESPERATE GRIEVING LAUGHTER, I HATE IT SO MUCH

AND LWJ IS WATCHING WITH A HELPLESS LOOK ON HIS FACE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WWX IS AT THE CLIFF

THAT ONE CLIFF WE HATE

I CAN’T DO THIS

OH GOD

Lwj: wei ying, come back

He says this so softly and full of desperation

He’s so scared

But wwx just steps back more, closer to the cliff’s edge and HE’S CRYING AND JUST LETS HIMSELF FALL

LWJ FUCKING LUNGES FOR HIM

OH GOD I CAN’T DO THIS

I CAN’T

Lwj barely manages to grab him in time and he grips him tight in his hand with all his might

Wwx looks so surprised, completely shocked that someone would try to save him at this point

Lwj, on the other hand, has a grim determined look on his face. He caught his soulmate, just barely, but he caught him and he will not let go!!

Wwx: lan zhan

There’s blood streaming down lwj’s hand from the wound on his arm and it’s just pouring over wwx’s hand

Wwx just hangs there limply, making no move to pull himself up towards lwj

Wwx: lan zhan, let me go

NONONONONONONO

Lwj’s grip SLIPS FOR A SECOND THAT GIVES ME A FREAKING HEART ATTACK but he manages to adjust his grip and clutch at him HARDER

He hasn’t said a word! He hasn’t said anything bc he’s focusing everything he has on holding onto wwx

Then we see jc striding into the scene and I’M DYING I’M DYING THIS IS GOING TO HURT SO BAD

Jc gets to lwj’s side and looms over the both of them

Wwx: jiang cheng…

And wwx for a split second looks happy; he’s happy to see his brother bc it’s his brother, the guy who’s been with him since they were children

But jc draws his sword and glares at him

And that joy peters off into pained acceptance bc wwx thinks he deserves this

Nononononononononononono my yunmeng bros don’t do this to me, please no

Lwj: Jiang Wanyin, stop it!

LWJ IS SAYING THIS THROUGH GRITTED TEETH BC HE SAW JC DRAW HIS SWORD

HE SEES HIM AIMING IT THREATENINGLY AT HIS SOULMATE 

AND HE DOES NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH OR ABILITY TO BLOCK HIM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE CAN’T LET GO OF WWX

Jc takes his sword and tells wwx to go to hell and strikes the stone between lwj and wwx

It’s enough to wobble where lwj is at and wwx SEES this and panics

HE WILL NOT BRING LAN ZHAN DOWN WITH HIM

So he yanks his arm from lwj’s grip and lets himself fall

Lwj: WEI YING

AND WE HEAR LWJ SHOUT HIS SOULMATE’S NAME. IT’S FULL OF DESPAIR BC HIS SOULMATE IS LOST TO HIM NOW

AND HIS FACE IS JUST ALL DEVASTATION AND HEARTBREAK

KILL ME KILL ME IT HURTS TOO MUCH

And then the camera pulls back and lwj looks so small standing on that cliff as jc just walks away

Lwj: wei ying

He says his soulmate’s name one last time in a pained gasp, like he can’t get enough air in his lungs, like breathing hurts, bc EVERYTHING HURTS, HE JUST LOST HIS SOULMATE

And then before, i can spiral into a nervous breakdown from the sheer ENORMITY OF EMOTIONS THIS SHOW JUST SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT...

We get a time skip!

~16 years later~

The scene opens to lwj playing ~their song~ on the guqin

Oh god it sounds so beautiful

It’s played in a way that sounds soothing and peaceful

Probably to keep the audience from finding a cliff and taking a dive…

Also, this is the first time we see lwj with his hair down! Or at least it doesn’t have a fancy hairpiece in it; it’s still tied back a bit tho

It’s a fucking travesty that we don’t get to see his hair like this more often. He looks so freaking soft here…

In fact everything looks so soft here: out of focus shots of wwx and lwj, a breeze gently rustling the curtains…

It really is just what i needed to recover from what happened like, two seconds ago, tho, so kudos to the showrunners

Now we get a quick series of flashbacks to mo xuanyu, the juniors, etc etc

The show’s like hey guys, remember 30 episodes ago we started telling a different story with a whole bunch of other characters??

Yeah, we didn’t think so, let us remind you real quick

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING THE WHOLE TIME

Okay, we’re back at present-day Ancient Fantasy China and wwx just starts regaining consciousness

Of course the first thing he does is tenderly watch lwj play their love song

Wwx: sixteen years...it feels like a dream

IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW THAT THE FLUTE PART OF THEIR SONG STARTS UP AS SOON AS WWX STARTS TO SPEAK

Lwj: you’re awake

I AM HAVING FEELINGS

MUCH LESS PAINFUL FEELINGS THAN 5 MINUTES AGO, BUT THERE’S A LOT OF THEM AND IDK WHAT TO DO

Lwj continues to play on his guqin

Wwx: i never thought i could still be alive

Lwj: the day you fell of the cliff, jc insisted on searching for your body but he could only see the bones of the dead

Wwx: what about you? Have you ever tried looking for me?

Of COURSE HE FUCKING DID YOU’RE HIS SOULMATE WHAT DID YOU THINK HE WAS GOING TO DO, OH MY GOD

Lwj: three years later, i went there but there were no bones left

God, they’re both speaking so gently to each other 

like they can’t quite believe they’re able to have this conversation, that this reunion is happening at all.

Wwx: why three years later?

Lwj’s hands freeze over the guqin when he asks this

Lwj: these 16 years…

NOTICE HOW LWJ POINTEDLY DOES NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION

Wwx: if i say i don’t know where i was these last 16 years, will you believe me?

Lwj: yes, i believe you

His voice is all soft and full of feeling

Wwx: lan zhan, did you really believe me back then?

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THEY’RE SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER EVER SO SOFTLY AND TENDERLY AND GENTLE-LIKE?? I AM FULL TO THE BRIM WITH EMOTIONS RN

WWX IS TEARY EYED THE WHOLE TIME, MY HEART MY HEART

Oh, now we cut to a freaking beautiful shot of lwj sitting on a rock with his guqin on his lap, surrounded by trees and a waterfall

HE’S FUCKING GLOWING IN THIS SHOT

And my god the scenery in this show is just so fucking gorgeous

Like, how did they make it so beautiful???

We cut back to wwx and watch as wwx steps out of the Silence Room (aka the jingshi, aka LWJ’S BEDROOM) and starts wandering the Cloud Recesses

And i’m here like ummm? Where’s your mask wwx? YOU’RE WANDERING THE CLOUD RECESSES PRETTY CONFIDENTLY THERE WITHOUT YOUR MASK. 

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING.

We do get cute little flashbacks as wwx reminisces about the last time he was here tho

It’s bittersweet

Oh, he’s coming up to the library pavilion and ~THEIR SONG~ starts playing again! 

WE FLASHBACK TO ANGRY BB!LWJ 

LOOK AT HOW PRECIOUS AND LITTLE THEY ARE HERE. 

BABIES, THEY’RE ALL BABIES HERE. 

Y’KNOW, BEFORE THEY GET HIT WITH ALL THAT WAR AND LOSS AND EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

Now we cut to wwx wandering the back hills of the cloud recesses and there are bunnies!!! HELLO BUNNIES, WE MISSED YOU~!

Wwx picks up one of the bunnies and starts petting them

Wwx: little bunny, do you remember me?

SO CUTE, I DIE.

Wwx: i didn’t know that you were still being kept here after so many years!

He’s holding the bunny so gently and petting them AHHHH

Wwx: didn’t that fuddy duddy say he didn’t like you?

HE SMILES SO SWEETLY AT THE PRECIOUS LITTLE BUNNY

Wwx finishes his time with the bunny and casually makes his way towards the cold spring

HALF NAKED LWJ

WET HALF NAKED LWJ

CHILLING IN THE COLD SPRING BEING TOTALLY GAY

Oh, but when wwx realizes who’s in the cold spring, he gets this pleased little smile on his face!!

That smile slips right off his face tho when he sees that lwj’s back is littered with scars

The music here gets all low and ominous here too.

Wwx’s brows get all furrowed and his mouth drops open in shock

Wwx: whips?

Lwj turns around and sees wwx standing there

he seems pretty surprised to see wwx there, actually, his eyes widen and everything

When he does this HE REVEALS THE WEN BRAND BURNED INTO HIS CHEST RIGHT WHERE WWX HAD IT BURNED INTO HIM IN THE MURDER TURTLE CAVE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wwx lets out a little gasp and jerks back in shock when he sees it

At that, lwj immediately flicks his gaze downward and to the side in an obviously nervous gesture

He robes up pretty quickly from here (like REALLY quickly)

Wwx is still staring at him with his eyes all wide but not in a “omg hot naked dude” way; more in a “oh no, what happened?!” sort of way

Side note to mention I LOVE HOW LWJ LOOKS WITH WET HAIR, IDK WHY BUT I DO

Lwj: you’re awake

Wwx: lan zhan, the whips on your back...

Lwj: *looks down and doesn’t answer*

Wwx: you have always been a model among the disciples. What on earth have you done to deserve such a severe punishment?

His brow is all furrowed and he looks almost angry

But his voice is soft and serious and full of concern

And i’m sitting here like, OH BOY, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION WWX

Wwx: lan zhan, answer me

WHAT IF HE DOESN’T ANSWER, WWX? HMMM? WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN? 

REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME HE DEMANDED YOU ANSWER HIM AND YOU GOT ALL MEAN AND SNARKY?

BECAUSE I DO

I’M STILL NOT OVER IT, THAT WAS REALLY MEAN OF YOU

Lwj: *pointedly stays silent and keeps his gaze lowered*

And here the some lan disciples interrupt before we can get any answers

They’re here to give us Plot, how dare they

Apparently lqr got himself in trouble; couldn’t control a spirit or smth. What a rookie.

But we don’t care bc he’s wwx’s nemesis lol

Wwx and lwj rush over to the “Underworld Chamber” where lqr is at

Yes, they have a building called the Underworld Chamber bc the lan clan specializes in dramatics i guess

And also, somehow between the cold spring to the underworld chamber, lwj’s hair dries completely and he has it all done up again with his snazzy silver hairpiece??

Which, actually, is freaking hilarious if you think about it

Like, oh, gotta go save my uncle but if he sees me so disheveled he’ll make me write lines for sure...better get myself dolled up before i arrive there

Wwx does his cool magic talisman thing to bust open the doors of the dramatically named chamber and then locks the doors up behind them once he and lwj get in

Lwj looks very worried about his uncle, who is currently swooned into the arms of some rando lan disciple

Lwj immediately takes over the guqin bc he’s the Guqin Master and starts playing Magic Music

and the possessed sword is floating in the middle of the room exuding Bad Vibes™

Wwx whips out his shoddy flute and starts playing the Magic Music too bc it’s DUET TIME, BABY

Lol lqr immediately starts groaning when he hears the flute start up

Wwx’s like oh shit, lqr will recognize me if i play masterfully as i usually do so he switches from playing Magic Music to playing ~Their Song~ but, like, horribly??? It’s terrible terrible flute playing.

(also, like, i know they’re all acting, none of them know how to actually play the instruments their characters play but here i’m like ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?? DO THOSE FINGERINGS BELONG TO ANY ACTUAL NOTES???)

(I know i wasn’t the greatest at playing the flute in high school--okay, i was actually a pretty shitty flutist BUT EVEN I CAN TELL THAT THOSE FINGERINGS ARE BULLSHIT)

(okay i’m done yelling about the flute-playing now)

AND LOL LWJ’S FACE IS LIKE WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THAT SOUNDS HORRENDOUS HOW DARE YOU MUTILATE OUR LOVE SONG THAT WAY

Lqr: stop the flute! Get out!!

I’M D Y I N G LOLOLOL

Wwx stops playing and looks at lqr like, yikes

Lqr: no more…

And then he passes out like a drama queen omg

Wwx looks at lwj like “oops, sorry about your uncle??”

But after lqr is very much unconscious he starts playing Magic Music well again

So that all happens and eventually the sword spirit chills out and clatters to the floor

It’s still very obviously exuding Bad Vibes™ and doing this creepy whisper thing so of course wwx is like IMMA GRAB IT

OMG WWX STOP TOUCHING SCREAMING SWORDS

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING JFC

Yeah so for some reason, wwx thinks it’s a good idea to touch the possessed sword and it starts screaming at him obvs and he starts to shake

Lwj is watching him all worriedly

The screaming seems to overwhelm wwx bc he’s flung back STRAIGHT INTO LWJ’S ARMS

Like, no hesitation. Lwj IMMEDIATELY catches him all tenderly as he falls

We cut back to the silence room with lwj at lqr’s bedside, checking his meridians/spiritual energy/whatever the hell

He’s very focused but all the juniors are cheeping at him like baby birds, it’s adorable

Except one of the juniors starts talking about the possibility of the yiling patriarch possessing someone and lwj opens his eyes and glares at him

HE GLARES SO HARD

AND ALL THE JUNIORS DUCK THEIR HEADS IN SHAME 

Lwj dismisses them

Lwj: sizhui, go to bed

Lsz: but dad!!

Lwj: say no more, go

Lsz: yes father

I LOVE DADJI AND LSZ MOMENTS, I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS EXCHANGE

Lsz leaves and bumps into wwx who’s lounging casually outside that building. It’s night time. He’s dressed all in black. Wearing a mask. He looks sketchy af is what i’m saying.

Like, you choose NOW to wear a mask?? WHERE WAS THAT MASK EARLIER???

Wwx: are you okay, random junior that i’m fond of for some unknown reason?

And lsz opens up to him and starts being all Clever and talking Plot Points

Wwx is watching him puzzle this out and he’s so proud and impressed with lsz

Wwx: good analysis, it seems you’ve studied really hard!

More plot talk and then lsz is all why are you wearing a mask again?

Wwx: i’m afraid of being seen by some old friends…

“FRIENDS” LOLOL YEAH OKAY

Cut to a new scene. It’s morning time!

Lwj is staring longingly at wwx

Wwx: you’re not suspecting me are you? I’ve been sleeping for 16 years.

HELLO DENSE!WWX. CAN’T SAY THAT I’VE MISSED YOUR OBLIVIOUSNESS

HE’S OBVIOUSLY USING EVERY OUNCE SELF RESTRAINT TO NOT GRAB YOU AND KISS THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU

Also, is this how he’s coping with being dead and resurrected? Pretending he took an extended nap?? this is a crowley approved coping mechanism, and i too approve of extended naps

Lwj: of course i believe you

Now they’re doing Plot Talk but we’re not gonna go into detail

Instead we’re going to enjoy their general proximity to each other and watch their pretty beautiful gorgeous faces as they bask in each other’s presence and talk smart with their wonderful voices

*dreamy sigh*

WWX IS BEING CLEVER

AND LWJ IS KEEPING UP WITH HIS CLEVERNESS

AND THEY REACH THE SAME CONCLUSION AND SAY IT OUT LOUD SIMULTANEOUSLY

BC THEY’RE GENIUS SOULMATES

(their conclusion has to do with Xue Yang and Plot Device 1 that may have something to do with Plot Device 2?? Only mentioning it vaguely bc it becomes relevant to wangxiantics later. We don’t need to know more than this lol)

Ooh, the end of their Plot Talk wwx says something about how whoever planted the sword ghost is obviously coming after him

Like, he realizes that he’s the target (presumably; i suppose it’s a reasonable assumption for him to make at this point). He stares off into the distance totally accepting of becoming the target again

But lwj gazes at him like OVER MY DEAD BODY IS ANYONE GONNA TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME AGAIN, I JUST GOT YOU BACK!!

Maybe i’m projecting bc OVER MY DEAD BODY AM I LETTING ANYONE HURT MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY AGAIN,. COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN/WOMAN/NB PERSON

Now they’re back at the Underworld Chamber where the sword ghost (sans sword) is just chillin there and it’s all glowy and blue instead of smoky black.

Blah blah PLOT blah blah Follow the sword ghost blah blah Find sword ghost’s owner blah blah

Oh, and here lwj says they’re going on a trip together for Plot Reasons

Wwx is very excited about it. He hops and LEANS HARD into lwj.

Like, he’s putting weight into it guys, just getting all up close and personal with lwj’s strong sturdy shoulder~!

Wwx: i finally won’t be controlled by the strict rules here!

UM EXCUSE ME???

WHEN HAVE YOU EVER FOLLOWED THEIR RULES, WWX

WHEN

NAME ONE TIME

GO AHEAD, I’LL WAIT.

Lwj steps back slightly and wwx barely catches himself in time, it’s GREAT.

GUYS, OUR BOYS ARE TRAVELING TOGETHER AGAIN

ON A MISSION

TOGETHER!! 

SIDE BY SIDE!

TO HUNT DOWN EVIL!

TOGETHER!!

JUST LIKE OLD TIMES BEFORE ALL THE ANGST AND TRAUMA HAPPENED!!!

Look at our boys! Together! In qinghe!! Qinghe brings back so many fond memories!

They go into town to explore

Lol, we meet a mountebank selling portraits of the yiling patriarch that are supposed to ward off evil 

Wwx gets distracted by him and stays behind to chat while lwj keeps going

Wwx inspects the portraits and is SUPER DISAPPOINTED AND OFFENDED

THOSE PORTRAITS PHYSICALLY PAIN HIM

Wwx: the yiling patriarch was famous for his good looks! Who are these losers?? If you never saw the actual person, don’t draw randomly!! Stop misleading the younger generation! THEY HAVE TO KNOW HOW PRETTY I AM

Ah, poor wwx. Nobody can capture his beautiful perfect face.

SURPRISE JIN LING!!

ANGRY LITTLE BOY

KNOCKING DOWN THE POOR INNOCENT MOUNTEBANK

He’s all, that guy should be grateful all i did was kick him. I will kill anyone who mentions the yiling patriarch around me!!

Lol he’s such a brat, i love him.

Wwx: *internally* i wonder how his personality turned out this way. Poor temper, strong hostility. He learned all his uncle’s and father’s defects but none of his mother's strengths. If i don’t start working on him now, he’ll definitely suffer in the future…

LOOK AT WWX BEING A CONCERNED UNCLE!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Except he hasn’t had much practice being an uncle so he brings up the time he pinned him to the ground with a talisman 

Jin ling gets offended...

Aaaand here comes FAIRY THE WONDER DOG!! 

Wwx hears the dog barking and making their way towards him AND FLIPS THE FUCK OUT

HE RUNS AWAY SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

IT’S HILARIOUS

And we end on that high note.

Talk about emotional whiplash.

How can you make me want to tear my heart out of my own chest at the beginning and 40ish minutes later have me giggling like a loon??

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

#technical talks #ninja hoe #ask dadzawa #nonnie #this was honestly therapeutic tysm #and it let me kill time before I play Mario kart so bonus points!! #I definitely forgot to mention A Lot (like all the times one or all of the ninja lost their powers) #so like!!! feel free to bug me for more shit!!!!

[nozomijoestar]

Transcribed and formatted for readability the master thesis between me and @wlwclem​ on the nuances to NaraTrish together and as individuals being why we love it and respect it not being CompHet- we spent way too much Big Brain Energy on it to not share 

tw: brief mention of F-Slur when giving an example on toxic masculinity being bullshit, sexuality is briefly discussed in a non sexualizing way and in no graphic detail

*insert IM TRISH KIN BUCCIARATI joke here*

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:45 PM

JDDBSJDBD YES bc ofc she gotta be Reassuring but at the same time his Himboism Knows No Bounds One of the lines in EoH u can give her is “Go get me an Italian Vogue magazine too while you’re at it” and I’m like. Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:46 PM

JDHDHDF BDE Narancia whipped Narancia stands no chance

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:46 PM

OH FOR REAL one of HIS victory lines is something about getting all the stuff for her lmao And this is like even if she isn’t in the battle, Always Thinking Of His Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:50 PM

Trish decides to test the limits of this and his ability to recognize them by asking for impossible or nonexistent items/feats and when he continues to try for her without question she realizes she has too much power and must restrain it fjdjjdjfjf Can't turn into Dad

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:51 PM

JDBDBSJS The color palette changes while she has an inner monologue while she watches him try to make her happy

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:53 PM

"Oh my god Bucciarati was right...he's too loyal for his own good I need to stop even if it's a little fun"   Meanwhile Narancia: growing more and more frustrated with himself for perceived failure to someone he loves

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:55 PM

She stops for the most part but does it every so often bc it’s cute

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:56 PM

Lucky to have a freak like dat I feel like the only thing that can counter this self defeatism Narancia can get (bc his younger childhood...ofc he's fucked up and anxious and paranoid abt not being enough or abandoned) is Trish having to open her own repressed self up and love the shit out of himLike those reassuring lines she has in EoH and her moments in the anime/manga Bruno fucking does it as his father figure and Narancia admits it gives him strength

December 19, 2019

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:04 AM

Yes, he feels like he has to prove his worth and like he’s worth having around otherwise he’s useless, i def feel like he would not like talking about the stuff that happened in the past with everyone bc he would feel ashamed and stupid or st, he needs to be told You Are Enough and her to open up too so they can lean on each other

nozomijoestarToday at 12:12 AM

Honestly no jokes for a second I feel like this is also abt breaking toxic masculinity bc it's fucking Italy in the early 00s just out of the 90s...it was RIFE rifer than even now with that shit like in much of the world then too, the idea that a boy becoming a man and men in general need to strictly follow dumbass self harming rules

 especially abt not opening up and only having real priorities for earning money, honoring family, and procreating as much as possible whether it's marriage making a family or "having sexual conquests" in promiscuity, anything outside of this bullshit image can't be tolerated and you might as well be a woman or "a fag" if you don't assert some fictional narrative of trying extremely hard to have power in everything bc that's all that matters is the ridiculous idea of Alpha Males applied to humans 

Narancia being a 80s- 90s kid with the childhood he had did not give him much fighting chance at all in this context and time period  esp just bc he happened to be born with a dick and thus saddled with these harmful expectations society made that could've only further repressed his recognition of not beating himself up and his own emotional needs on top of EVERYONE ever betraying him Where was he supposed to go? He can't go anywhere unless he meets Bruno

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:18 AM

yes i agree..... like, males being looked down upon for opening up, being societally forced to shoulder the burdens and “man up” and just deal with it and fix everything. And then already having a toxic support system with his “friend” betraying him and his dad Sucking Major Ass, all he’s been taught is deal with it but hasn’t been given the tools to know how, and if Bruno didn’t meet him he honestly would be so stuck, what person (esp in that time period) is going to go out of their way to help an uneducated young male?

nozomijoestarToday at 12:20 AM

Even if it tragically ends with his death in canon I feel like the time he spent with Bruno's bois, Giorno, and Trish was huge in making some of that crack little by littleBc he has moments where you see how sweet he actually is, his "real" personality if you will underneath all the unresolved anger when he's with ppl he sees love him and give him hope When Giorno said No One Is Going To Hurt You Anymore that just made me cry harder

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:23 AM

Yes! Like, ofc he gets angry, has unrepressed rage and reactions to things, he hasn’t had any type of emotional support in SO long and it’s not like it’s 100% fantastic in that regard with buccigang (which don’t get me wrong they are family but they are still in an aggressive gang and go off and give each other lots of shit)-YEAH AND THE FUCKIGN PLANT GROWING TOO IM

nozomijoestarToday at 12:25 AM

Trish is legit I think the one person aside from Giorno who would treat him without even the gang's aggressiveness Narancia is my fav in VA even if Bruno is the best written VA character bc he's me, this kind of shit in my life is why I developed PTSD undiagnosed since my childhood that only kept getting worse until only this year have I gotten any true help I know exactly how he feels 

Esp when you think your whole life exists to serve others never yourself NaraGio shippers I see y'all argument even if I don't follow it tbh, Gio was again the only one besides Trish to consistently care for Nara in day to day and when he was in danger and esp during the Clash and Talking Heads fight Gio was the one dude present like No Narancia It's Ok Please Tell Me What's Wrong You're Clearly Stressed

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:31 AM

yeah although i haven’t experienced it i can still empathize and try to understand, i think there’s so many layers of protection and walls that most people never truly look past it to see the root cause or true self YES that fight was so frustrating bc they were all like Narancia stop being an idiot when something was clearly wrong and he was obviously in distress!!

nozomijoestarToday at 12:32 AM

Also Gio was the only one who first asserted that No, Narancia did the right thing in fighting Formaggio

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:33 AM

Yes and with that whole interaction the gang often uses Narancia as the scapegoat essentially and just give him shit for every little thing without trying to understand his POV

nozomijoestarToday at 12:33 AM

The Clash fight tbh I feel was an ass pull set up to give Narancia his big bad ass loyalty proving moment even if it's a great fight that beginning part is...only the Trish and Gio interactions rly make sense fjdjdjI wish him and Giorno hung out more or I guess more like talked more bc you can't rly hang out when you're getting assassinated every day hfgdg

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:36 AM

Yeah hdkdb, even with Fugo, even tho he found him and brought him to Bruno, he still calls him a dumbass, stabs him with a fork and shit, and then with Mista even tho I feel like they are Like Bros, he destroys Narancia’s radio for no fucking reason and also has a pattern of taking shit Narancia paid for without paying him backI def agree with that, I feel like Giorno interactions were lacking in that there really weren’t many one on one meaningful things so it’s hard for me to grasp his personal headspace and relationships a lot of the time

nozomijoestarToday at 12:37 AM

However to be a little more fair to the Bucci gang the manga version has Narancia trying a lot lot more to get their attention in logical ways that unfortunately Talking Heads completely ruins, he tried writing to let them know what was happening and TH warped the text into him saying vulgar things bragging abt his dick being a powerful Stand

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:38 AM

Yeah I was gonna add I wasn’t sure if the manga had other stuff, tbf

nozomijoestarToday at 12:38 AM

I think this is also Shounen Tropes of the 90s at play too the "child" character was often written as the comic relief dumbass Narancia suffers it so it does add a layer of Not Good to his relationships The trope still exists tbh Anime cut out him writing I assume bc it's too sexual It's already pushing it having him whip it out and piss in front of everyone jfhdhd

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:41 AM

Yeah you right, it’s like the i want it to be that deep meme, like Araki obvi doesn’t have him only as comic relief but if he delved into his character more there would’ve been so much more that could’ve been done and shown YEAH DJDBDJDJF I WAS SURPRISED THT WAS ANIMATED

------------------------[ CUT INTERMISSION ]-----------------------------

nozomijoestarToday at 12:51 AM

Ok but to get back on track with where I was trying to go even opening this all up is how it's critical to NaraTrish in a mutually beneficial way

nozomijoestarToday at 1:01 AM

Nara is no incel he's a King obvs but he is also at heart a confused scared kid uncertain of anything in the world beyond what's closest in his grasp and without someone actively believing in and validating him he can't fully achieve awareness of healthy dynamics and even the problems within the ones he already has with his gang and Bruno- Trish doesn't have to babysit him and be the stereotypical The Woman Only Supports And Gives Up Her Body bc thats never her and couldn't be her and Narancia wouldn't make her that way bc even when he kinda touches on that (giving in a bit to the idea that men are the main protectors of women) when he gets too fixated on wanting what he thinks is for her wellbeing he does snap out and acknowledge he's wrong bc 

Trish by her independent nature and tremendous Will proves those stereotypes are bullshit, not even factoring in their first meeting as already making a huge impression on his beliefs of what girls can do- Trish knowing how to challenge him by staying true to herself yet having the compassion to help someone suffering and with fewer chances from birth than she had would not only win him over but give him something even Bruno can't, self sustaining confidence, bc Trish isn't part of a chain of command, she's just a girl in love with a boy who wants him to be happy and that concept while foreign to him for so long once it kicks in he could actually learn to build himself For himself and For someone who wouldn't use him for some greater schemes or dirty work, 

I love Bruno ok he's one of the best characters in anything ever but his flaw in his ability to help motivate ppl is tied to that fact that he's bringing them into a dangerous strict order of command to Serve not entirely in a place/way that lets them just be themselves and realize organic loving relationships with anyone and themselves SO

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:05 AM

they’re healing...... being shown love without a position of authority or any obligations is so powerful for his growth

nozomijoestarToday at 1:25 AM

That all being said, Everything Trish does he's paying attention to, she keeps him alive during the Grateful Dead fight not because she needs him to serve for a cause ( a cause might I add even Bruno the near saint he is was ready to let Nara go right then and there for bc death is in the job description) but because she doesn't know him well yet and shit he even swung a knife at her when they first met over who was in the bathroom, but he's a person suffering and in pain and to let him die even if it's Expected Of The Mission is garbage to her even if she respects Bruno down the line as a father compared to fucking evil Diavolo,

 Trish constantly goes out her way to do these things for Nara bc Trish instinctively knows he's the most vulnerable mentally and her sense of compassion and justice (likely something Donatella made sure to instill in her before her death by cherishing Trish and spoiling her even as a single mother) will not stand to not help someone when she could've- and he reciprocates it even if in disbelief bc he can tell This Person Is Safety, This Person Is Like Me Yet Not, A Better Me I Want To Be, by the time he's about to die someone with his fragile mind was actually gaining conviction about taking control for himself on his own terms and he would risk even those chances to defend the person who actually helped him arrive there (along with Gio) in the first place, 

I think by the end of his life he rly did love her or start to, it being romantic or not is up to individual interpretation to which you know I'm in the romance camp, point is he found someone who truly taught him strength without him fully realizing it and did so without belittling him, if anything instead treating him only with love and kindness and patience (not being a door mat for him, but like, not treating him like ass like everyone else has their moments of either), I think anything Trish asks of him, this is all why he's so willing to do it on top of feeling deep  empathy, I've written in my character notes as well that like this goes even further to sex being one of the most intimate things there is, like I kno we jest and jape abt Teens Doing Dumb Shit bc we're clowns 

but the sheer vulnerability you have to have esp in a first love situation to be willing to go through with that for the first time ever takes a lot of trust and courage, aspects I think Trish was able to give him and would solidify in asking something seen as so important for many people from him, the headstrong Trish wants to be vulnerable for him and the slowly confidence boosted Narancia wants to accept that faith and trust and love and exchange it with his own of the same for her, it's not horny teens 100% it's two hurt but hopeful kids on the verge of having to be adults wanting to find another piece of identity in how they are with someone else, obvs it will forever be offscreen bc pedos deserve to be skinned alive 

I just feel that the components that would fuel them to do something teens try to do to feel more adult and bc hormones are a lot more based in growing maturity than pure lust, I think this is what I fully mean by Writing About Teens Exploring Love And Sexuality; Not Fetishizing And Reveling In Showing The Act Itself Especially For Disgusting Titillation, I think this and not explicitly writing the sex are the difference between child porn and creating realistic characters

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:36 AM

Yeah, it is going to sound like a dumb take but the topic of sex and sexuality itself is not inherently sexual, by which I meant it isn’t the focus — there’s SO much more to it and in this case especially it can be like the ultimate sign of love, trust, intimacy, compassion, trying to make your way as a teen through a harsh world, like I can go on. Nasties Dont Interact but the shying away from the mere mention of it in a non-sexualized context is unrealistic. 

 Yes The Grateful Dead fight i 1000% agree is so important in both his personal growth and the development of their relationship, I think it’s an important parallel that he is dumbfounded about her going to such lengths to keep him alive without the sense of duty/obligation versus Trish’s feelings and outbursts of confusion on why Bucciarati and his gang even cared about her, protecting her to the point of death being on the line.(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:44 AM

all these elements of complication and similarities between their characters is why ive gotten so passionate about both them and their relationship (whether romantic or platonic it’s really fucking strong and good), the story of two kids making it through adversity, learning to unshoulder their burdens and lean on others, the Found Family™️, and learning and growing together is just so much more fucking deep and complex than the mainstream bs that exists. 

now im not any type of elitist hipster but esp in male and female relationships portrayed in what feels like basically fucking everything are just like CompHet Bullshit and they’re together bc They Are Just Supposed To Be (not to mention the toxic masculinity culture within that where the women barely have character arcs and are just seen as objects anyways) But what I’m trying to say is that in this the relationship is real and it feels earned in a way that just isn’t there in so much other media out there(edited)

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

Honestly if we tweak this just a lil more this is basically Guts and Casca One of the greatest and saddest romances ever written

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:48 AM

i still have berserk bookmarked just haven’t gotten around to reading yet

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

If VA was a Seinen it's p much Berserk In Italy Also big brain...galaxy brain...everything you said was a fact signed sealed and delivered(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:51 AM

Wow we’re actually in sync and using the brain cell to its fullest extent tonight

nozomijoestarToday at 1:51 AM

When I say she's his world and he's hers this is what I mean, not comphet hdhdhfhYEAH HFHDG

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:52 AM

(also my phone autocorrected “and” to “ANF” bc of twdg..... it also sometimes changes it to “AMD” bc I work in technology. My Phone Knows My Interests Are More Important To Me Than One Of The Main Parts Of Speech. Iconic)YESSSS they’re just SO GOOD there’s so much to articulate!

nozomijoestarToday at 1:55 AM

She was his Queen, and god help anyone who disrespected his Queen

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:55 AM

JDBDHE SHIT THE FUCK IP DKDBEBDJFBBD

nozomijoestarToday at 1:56 AM

Buy my silence $8000 a month

#jojo's bizarre adventure #naratrish #narancia ghirga #trish una #we support them at everything they do ty

[sanfranciscoyoginigypsy]

aug 15 2013

today was mentally gloomy

i smoked last night with joshua while he gave me the most and almost best human interaction I've ever had with someone in my life

he was praising me, saying my electric current is electrifying and he continued to tap me throughout the night because of it, and he taught me some stuff on the djembes and it was fascinating. very inspirational , he said i have the fire- but when he teaches me the techniques- I'm going to be very dangerous, and I'm ready. although last night probably changed my life, today was gloomy. i realized my intentions and attachment with people- it;s been too... reliant. most people hurt me, and al day i felt hurt by almost all interactions- but i realized i need to be more grounded into myself because it will lead me to be less emotional attached to human beings, i feel very reliant of others acceptance and comfort- from almost all people- to where it lead me to be less with myself. today in the beginning i felt very sad and unwanted and unloved, but it was bc i wasn't content or happy with myself so it reflected off to the outer universe- i called in for my appointment- when i could have made it - but i wanted to take the morning slow. which i did, but was unproductive. i tried practicing some djembes, but it just wouldn't work, someone was in the temple meditating and my vibe and feeling wasn't inspired at all. like briksha said, i need to cut off things and beings from my chakras, and become more accepting and reliant on myself - which i really am, it is my true nature, whenever i go back to it it’s second nature. but people and interactions have been hurting me. sayra has been very cringy towards me. rushing me, judging me and my situation and how i deal with it  when i open up to her, just very irritating. always finding a way to disagree with me and seem like she knows it all, and that my way is always wrong. i am taking this as a lesson in the future to realize that sometime in the future something will come up and i will need to be independently strong enough for it, right now today really showed me how not weak- but a smilier word to that that isn't downgrading, self efficient i am... drumming possibly? and i went to guru when the day wasn't going right bc i thought oh well a drum lesson would help, and it tremdenlosuly improved my day, but still left a small amount of emptiness. just small. like when we got on  bart sayra was judging me for paying.. like how ridiculous and (and dont get mad when i cant come up with words- its just a written language, the world will not end, its just english words..) but anyways she talks so down on people and here she goes talking down to me about the fact that i paid for bart, and she was judging the way i said how this certain degree would make me happy, and she tried guiding us where to go and she had no fucking idea she kept going the wrong way and i knew where i was going and doing and she still insisted on being the leader- and she walks away when i open up to her and talk, she literally walks away and does something else.. i just deifnely see this as a time to reflect and be alone.. bc elena has also been leaving me alone at night too.. feels like 90 percent of the time.. she's perfect, i love her, I'm glad we are roommates, we are actually moving in the dollhouse together, i love her so much, and she gives me space. and when those two dickheads were flirting with me all night just so i find out that they had girlfriends !! breaking my heart, just feels like human beings are breaking my heart, and duru flirts with me and it breaks my heart too, i just need to be clear idont like it, open up my throat chakra in that way, improve myself, although i am perfect just the way i am. its crazy how everything falls into place, after me and sayra went to the north korean war protest rally (i actually cried but tears didnt come bc the womans energy was so powerful that i felt it, her passion for resisting this war and saving lives was beautiful) we went to revolution cafe, where there was jam! it was beautiful! i stayed until it was time to go to satsung (the fundamentals of yoga) and wow it was so powerful. the vibrations of the guitar, the strategy of the drummer , the soul i felt from the sax player, the basses energy, everything! i felt it all! a deep meditation it left me in indeed, and it was much needed. i stayed and sat in awe and was truly inspired- music is my guru. sayra left shortly, and i realized my attachment to friends bc i felt like i couldnt keep dancing and being myself, and how being out is useless with no friends, but i soon stopped that thought and continued dancing, a few minutes later elektra comes in and she gives me a big hug and smile and offers to buy me a drink, so sweet. definitely need that. all day I've been smiling at people at the ashram, and today has been a very hard day for me to do that, but she gave that in return tonight. and we talked so much!! she wants me to teach her some stuff djembes and she's going to teach me some stuff on piano! she threw out many ideas, like having a drum kit in the ashram and seeing an indian drummer at this place she knows, and how she's going to paris tomorrow, we just shared so much, i asked how her day went and she said horrible, but its getting better . and i said me too! so i came to the music, it calle dme. i came to see my guru, music. and its affirming me, calming, nourishing and comforting me. like it always done, nothing is better than live music for me, its love. its pure real love, it doesn't hurt me it doesn't break me it doesn't judge me, it lets me be, inspires, understands, guides, comforts, nourishes, and encourages me (energetically and physically) to be in my true nature, who i really am. and he satsang was very affirming as well, we talked about suffering, and how enlightened beings dont suffer, bc they realize the true nature of things. those who suffer do not know the truth, the true nature. and it makes sense. today was a bit suffering, but I'm alright, Ive felt the emotion, and now i understand, its all always a lesson, just accept and feel the emotion, the lesson comes later. and now I'm here again on a lonely night, but i understand why. to realize its not lonely, that i have me, and that alone is all i need. i love, accept, and inspire myself. every single fucking day. i am beautiful i am strong i am talent i am raw i am electric i am true. just like drums, i am a product of the sun, the dirt, and water, and when i burn , i burn baby. quote from my drum master (joshua) “ wood is the best thing on the fucking planet, and the drum is made from just that. the wood, it is pure energy, it is made up of sunlight, dirt and water, and when it’s heated, it turns into fire! pure energy, fire!”