#BUT I DONT HAVE TIME TO FIX IT SO ITS OK

[cloverjelly]

drawing life series members based on the songs in my playlist [5] - tango/are you satisfied? by MARINA

why this song: "are you satisfied with an average life?" (always dying insignificant deaths) and "high achiever, dont you see? / baby, nothing comes for free" (u can interpret his little halo things as either being a target, aka the target of hunts, dumb deaths, boogey kills, wtv OR a crown showing how hes always trying to be tricky and fun and bet and stuff idk)

#tangotek #life smp #traffic smp #jelly jar #can u tell hes my fav.. #ALSO DUDE #DONT WORRY ABT THE ELBOW #I MESSED IT UP SO BAD #BUT I DONT HAVE TIME TO FIX IT SO ITS OK

[carpathiians]

dug up my oldddd tiny wacom i used to draw with as a kid </3

#rdr2 #john marston #javier escuella #jovier #my art #im NOT used to screenless tablets anymore lol #but i love keyboard shortcuts i lvoe keyboards shprtcuts so much #also krita wins best program because.i can make it pink #these are just some basic sketches i want to try to come up w something thats actually.. something at some point lol i just dont have time #rn #but these two are my forever girlfriends #im trying to figure out a way to stylize them more i want to give them some flavor lol #also i.might be insane but i feel like.. i kinda dont like the feel of the apple pencil #i looked up thid wacom im using now its from 2013 and like. the pen feels so.much nicer to use #but everyone on the internet seems to love the apple pencil #idk.man #maybe its bc my ipad doesnt have a laminated screen and im using the older pencil #anyway the ipad is still a lot more convenient #ok thats enough yapping from me there u go 🤲 #think havent been this annoying in the tags in a while so i had to fix that right #<3

[josephslittledeputy]

Having been left behind by someone who she thought she could trust, Willa now has to endure the depravities of John Seed

Chapter 3, There Ain't No Sin and There Ain't No Virtue: Part 1, has finally been posted!!

#im embarrassed to admit that this took more than a few hours to get up on ao3 #sleep deprivation did not help and having to do a brief edit AND having to fix some random mistake ao3 made #where it just put a bunch of italics code on sentences that did not need it ??? making the ones that DID need it invalid and not show up #so i spent like 20 mins or more deleting that. BUT its posted and my blogs are linked and its pretty and im actually happy! i mean wow #3 chapters in and im actually happy with my work and still staying committed to it???? #gonna take a brief break until i feel motivation for it though because ive got Other Things Brainrot™️ & i want this project to continue #being fun #ANYWAY with that being said; read it dont read it idgaf i am just happy and ready for sleepy time lmao #and this gives me an excuse to post my banner :3 #ok no more tags i prommy #far cry 5 #my writing

[chososdiscordkitten]

I just got home from work, ill work on sum chosito stuff

#DONT ask me how it went #or ill cry #I don't think ive ever worked so hard in my life #I almost died actually #the whole time I was just picturing coming home to my house husband #a hot meal and Choso to come home to would fix me #but nooo #I have to come home to sum bs and only a sad lime in my fridge #god and I have to clean my room too #its so rough out here #Choso would fix me #he would hug me nd tell me its ok #God I miss him #⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨ten speaks୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ #jjk #choso my beloved #imma write sum househusband Choso drabble #yes #this will fix me too

[craycraybluejay]

Bruh I be having literally the worst urges and I feel bad that I don't feel bad at all. Like damn. Guess I'm really like that. Well, anyway.

#i am apathetic to whatever monstrosities lie within my mindscape #or rather i enjoy them and am apathetic to the idea that they are evil #unfortunately the fact that I'm excited ab them makes me rly rly rly want to talk ab them #which would be bad #but if it gets bad enough i think its time i let my therapist in on the next circle of anouther hell #i know she will be kind no matter what i spring on her #but this. i dont know how to feel or what to think about all this #its pathological. i can fix it about as well as i can fix the fact that i adore music or get turned on by fear or am consistently- #-platonically or otherwise pulled to murderers and the like #i know its some psychosexual nonsense-- some fixation rooted in some perverse symbolism that i cant fully grasp #its so difficult to be a BadWrong thoughts and desires person #bc even tho i have like. some level of control and ethicsband whatnot. even tho im not doing the guilt ocd thing. #even though i know im ok the way i am #i also know i cant talk ab it. cant be excited about it. cant vent or happy rant about it. stay quiet. let it eat ya #cause ppl cant accept some things cant like. come to terms with things. again and again #i find myself relating more to 'good people' but being able to talk more openly and honestly with 'bad people' #like im too far from either side to ever be fully myself but i must let it out #and so i find i cant trust the people i love most with some of the most personal things more than i can trust a complete stranger #because at least that stranger has no spare room to judge. and i cant give af about losing a strangers high esteem of me #i share something truly heinous and sure i may be threatened but. disappointment from ppl u love is worse than murderous rage from strangers #which came first- the fixation or the corruption? i think it was the fixation #i was like that before. whatever false indulgences i have given myself will always sate the beast and not create it #i am not a bad person. but i will always have a monster inside me. a balancing act between #being a somewhat polite functioning member of society and completely losing myself to the dark #i dont hate myself. i wish i did sometimes so i wouldnt have the urge to vomit it all out #i wish i hated myself and felt such guilt over all that so i could be happy with being quiet. i wish it was only good that excited me proper #or rather i wish i knew someone like me in the right ways. irl. no phones no danger. who i could share with excitedly and not feel like ill #be told that im a freak who deserves to die. someone who will share equally horrific things with me and will keep me in check #i want talk therapy but with someone that has something SO wrong with them. a friendship that is nasty and fun and grossly honest #someone to say 'i know what ur talking ab/how u feel' when i say something pitch dark

[sonknuxadow]

overall i think movie sonic being redesigned was a good decision but sometimes i wish they had never done it with how annoying people are about it with the constant spread of misinformation about how/why it happened + this attitude people have gotten from it thinking they can get anything they don't like in a movie or show or game changed if they complain on twitter enough regardless of what exactly they're wanting changed or how close the release date is or what company is making it or whatever

#so many people who do not have the power to change whatever youre mad about #have been harassed in the name of bullying them into fixing it like we did with sonic. like what the hell #remember when people decided sonic frontiers was bad very early on and were harassing people who worked on it or were excited for if #and were like ''well it worked with the sonic movie so its ok !!!''. what is wrong with you people #also people saying it over things that just cant be changed #i remember like 3 or 4 months before the live action monster high movie came out people were making the sonic joke for the millionth time #even though filming had already been finished and a lot of progress was made on editing too #and the things theu were wanting changed would require restarting the whole thing #even though it had a set release date of october and they definitely wouldnt meet that deadline if they redid the entire movie #its not the same!!!! not everything can be a sonic movie situation!!!! #dont even get me started on people just lying about the whole thing being a marketing stunt #and im not saying dont criticize movies ever just stop pretending everything can be a sonic movie situation

[polithicc]

started my period and now im evil

#ok gonna rant in the tags bc i need to just let it out and then i can be normal again #i was literally in and out of meetings all day so i got 0 actual work done #i dont feel good and ive been so nauseous #i had half of a sandwich in the conference room while handling a fucking disaster #it's so unbearably hot today #i wore the wrong pants so i had to safety pin them and then i looked weird #the pants are also too long #i was so overstimulated in the metro #that i got home took off my clothes by the front door and went straight to bed to lay on top of my duvet #and its thursday so its a chores day for me #so i need to clean my house #i also need to find the time to fix the dress im wearing to the gala next week #my hair is dirty #i ran out of primer and felt oily all day #also i scratched my glasses #i made coffee had three sips and then forgot to bring it to work #i had an anxiety attack and stood in thje hallway to calm myself down #just to then have the most awkwaerd interaction with the new hire who was coming out of the bathroom \ #in conclussion #fighting for my life a bit today

[musashi]

now that the dust has settled and i am fully confident i was not in the wrong i can say for certain the funniest thing anyone has ever spitefully said about me post-friendship-breakup is "you made the conversation feel like a cross-examination"

#wordy wendy #DONT CROSS VON KARMA. PERFECTION INCARNATE #ok well maybe if you dont want your LAWYER KINNIE FRIEND to ACT LIKE A LAWYER #you shouldnt COME INTO THEIR DMS GUNS ABLAZING #with a LITERAL ACCUSATION backed up by SHODDY EVIDENCE #i have severe and repetitive trauma RE: being falsley accused on on the internet #do you really think i'm not going to keep receipts #do you really think im not going to know exactly where to find the evidence to refute that #prosecutor miles fucking edgeworth? #it wasn't even a FUN cross examination. #literally just 'you did that' 'no i didn't. heres proof.' #cool life protip its a lot easier to collab with people and have conversations with them #if you dont make up a fanon version of them in your head and then write fic about them first #like perhaps next time just act normal. instead of like a freak #no greater joy than reading the comments on that thread and seeing so many people use the word 'deranged' #like oh thank fuck i wasn't alone in thinking it. that WAS deranged. you are deranged. #and your sweet little softboi schtick will only last so long. enjoy it while it does #once more people see what's beneath it they won't stick around <3 fix your heart or live with that

[local-magpie]

the new oc is coming together. serial killer who became part demonic from eating demons, accidentally got magically bound to serve... another oc im still working on. other oc is very average and not prepared for dealing with. all this.

#pulling some inspo from fate where theres a whole mage society obsessed with power and magical studies but hidden from mundane society #instead of the whole summoning servants to fight in a one time grudge match to the death #its more like. common to bind existing powerful supernatural beings #for power/mage political struggles #mundane guy accidentally interrupted a binding ritual and this guy took his opportunity to get bonded to a weakling nobody pushover instead #thinking the original ritual was his ex girlfriend and he was like. absolutely not #(dont worry they would have kind of deserved each other. unhinged 4 unhinged) #but yeah the plan is to kill mundane guy. then its put off bc its so east he can do it any time right #and then eventually its like well ok its more convenient for me to already be bonded- #im a sucker for evil characters accidentally caring about someone more than they should #yelling at the void #hyperionskies draws #i dont remember my tag ill look later and fix it

[randomminty]

Starting the year off w a uhhhhh. A creechure of some sort

#oddmew m belove..... looking at old photos then looking back at my canvas bawling bc they look all grown up now #wanna print em out and put in my purse to stare at longily when i need comfort in times of great sorrow #pokemon #art tag #oddmew #ive been consuming enstars pjsk twst deresute and sidem content in unhealthy amounts the past few weeks. In that order #also idk which idolmaster game theyre from but l'antica and that silhouette whatsitcalled song..... ouffhuo stuck in my head #i have mmj art waiting to be posted but i dont like how minoris face turned out she looks funky :( airis so fun to draw tho #going from games where each character is really fleshed out and beloved then to pokemon is so weird its like #oh right half the stuff i know abt my fav characters i completly made up and im starved for content #anyway sorry for talking abt gacha games on my oddmew post i have a disease in my brain #ipad got its screen badly shattered but its fixed and ok...... shes been alive for 4 years and still going strong #update i dont care abt deresute anymore also i heard abt sidem. tragic

[autisticlee]

contrary to my last post...how do you know if you're aromantic, or you just haven't found the mythical and elusive "THE ONE" everyone keeps going on about and promises me I will find?

every time I say i'll never date or find someone I can't stand being around or who will like me, someone always 100% of the time tells me "you have to keep looking! you will find The One™ one day! they're out there! they're real!"

i've wondered if i'm aromatic for my whole life (or at least since I learned that was a thing when I got internet as a teen) but how do you know

I feel like when I see kther aro people out there, they are so sure of themselves! they know how aro they are and aren't questioning it. it's like how I know for sure i'm asexual (being sex repulsed made that one easy lmao) but aromatic seems different and less solid.

generally, I don't care. i'm not looking for a partner and don't generally think I want one. i'm fine alone/without a relationship. it seems like tol much work and trouble. I can't even make and keep friends! why would I date?

but I feel very lonely seeing everyone in my life pair off and I have no one to rely on or lean on. I would love to have a best friend or small group of close friends, but my useless autistic ass can't even do that. but that's another rant lmao.

i always remember when someone told me once that if I want a best friend, I need to date someone. "adults don't have best friends, jnsywas they date and pair off. their partner is their best friend. you can't call another adult you aren't dating your best friends. that's only for kids."

that's so sad and lonely, yet everyone seems to believe or at least follow that dumb logic. it's times like that where I think "maybe it would be nice to have a partner," but I don't know if I just want that close relationship, or actually want a partner.

I don't know if i'm capable of being romantically attracted to someone. I know I want a really close relationship with someone where I can trust and rely on them fully. they're always there for me and I for them. we do everything together and help each other grow and live in this difficult world. but I don't want it to come with that awkward and annoying dating and romance expectation. I don't want to go on awkward first dates and have awkward "are we a thing" stage and then have the possibility of a breakup. (I can't deal with friendhips ending. a breakup would end me lmao)

I used to always say I wanted to be friends with someone first before for a while we date so I can know if I can't stand being stuck with them and them with me for a long period of time. that way I can see if if are compatible first. I think it's weird and irresponsible when people start dating before knowing who someone even is. that's just so weird (and lowkey scary) to me lmao. but I have also learned that people thinks irs wierd if you want to date after being friends because then they think you only became friends to date them and act weird about it even if it's not true. that's not the goal or reason. but no one i've been friends with passed my test anyway lmao

I remember talking about this with one friend a while back and them she suddenly a bit later accuses me of liking her and decided we can't be friends anymore. but she also didn't pass my test and wasn't the type of person I wanted. (I think she was also the person who said the quote above about adults can't have best friends)

i've never actually liked someone. when I was younger, I got aesthetic attraction mixed up with sexual attraction until I learned asexual is a thing and that's me. I also got romantic interest mixed up with admiration a d simply finding a person interesting. also both got mixed up with gender envy hahaha

but I don't even know if I could be in a relationship. I dont feel suited. I'm way too picky to like and trust anyone enough. i'm also a useless little gremlin and no one would ever like ME enough. then there's the barrier of the person would also need to be asexual because I can't deal with their sexual needs at all and would feel bad. i've met/talked to a total of like 5 asexual people in my life. we seem comparatively rare. none of them were for me obviously.

aromantic people as well. seems rare to me. I also know it's a spectrum. there's so many types. I could be somewhere in there. but I don't know if I should say i'm aromantic meaning I don't have an interest at all, or that i'm like demi and waiting for "The One ™" or whatever. where on the spectrum am I????

should I hope I find The One or try not to think about it? I don't want waiting for that mythical person to be my whole personality and life goal like most people do. that's annoying lmao. but I also don't know if i'm cursing myself to be lonely for life because I refuse to open up to the possibility...

I feel like this is some autistic black and white thinking coming in 😅 I know it doesn't matter much, but it drives me crazy whenever I do think about it.....

#usually I don't want anyone and can't stand romance anything #but there's rare times where I think “it would be nice to be cute and gay with someone right now... #whats the truth 🤨🧐 #asexual #aromantic #aroace #sexuality #lgbtq #autistic #lee rambles #my phone keeps deciding its aromatic. i bet theres a bunch of typos and bad autocorrect bht i dont wanna fix it im sorry fhdjdjksks #also why cant we normalize that some people may not ever find The One and thats ok? #teach people how to be comfortable alone maybe. stop shaming people who dont want to or have never dated. #stop making me feel broken and like im missing some big important and necessary part of life!!!! #demisexual #i supposed thats a tag i could use #feel free to comment anything and try to convince my brain to accept the free spectrum and not be so b&w

[todayisafridaynight]

i have to drive for like two hours tomorrow and all i can think of is old people

#snap chats #i always call them old but i never think of them when theyre ACTUALLY old.... #im lying. kinda. LISTEN I TRY TO THINK OF OLD ARASAWA BUT I JUST THINK OF DIVORCE #if you know me from kh you know two old men being divorced has not stopped me. its fueled me ever. still crying over the novel brb-- #BUT I JUST DONT HAVE TOO MUCH MATERIAL. I THINK. my brain puny. #i cant even think of anything to do WITH that tho. like sure i have an idea or two but nothing i think is worth executing #2019 the saddest year for the elderly i just think they should be happy #cant believe arakawa gave jo full custody this is so sad. jo is this what you wanted it should be but-- #tbh tho i told myself id do some comm sketches to have them ready for tomorrow #and that as a reward i could draw The Guys but im chillin with my sister and now im distracted #shes doing work and like. every five minutes she keeps saying 'this is bad' she lit just said it as i typed this LMAO #point is bro i need my fix. i just looked through the pixiv tag for them for the like. ninth time #it never updates and most of it's n/s/f/w and/or ads for doujins but still #i take what i can get dawg theyre just so funny to me. im going insane like actually its so bad tonight apparently #ok bye lemme go ACTUALLY work so i can cook my food. so to speak

[snailune]

wiki how do I stop spiraling about my life once every 2 weeks I'm getting sick of it

#personal #i just want to make things so bad #it hurts to even look at something anyones made bc im not doing it #i started so late and its still so hard. i got months without doing anything bc im just exhausted from daily life #if i spend more time with my girlfriends i feel like im closer to them but then i have no time for art #if im making something im spending less time with them #and i like my job so much. i really do. i even considered just saying fuck it and going into library sciences #but i still come home barely able or willing to talk sometimes. and i dont know how to fix that #and i feel so unfulfilled and extremely lonely even tho i have friends #but i can barely get myself to draw or write even when i have so many ideas #i feel so uncomfortable in my body and so tired of trying with therapists and doctors #all of it makes me so anxious i feel sick #so Frustrated i feel dizzy. and then i still cant do anything!!!! #i dont want to live here anymore i just want to be with everyone else. but everyone is moving away or planning to. us included #but no one in the same place. it makes me so sad #i dont know what to do or how to do it when i dont have motivation to do the bare minimum #maybe i just like torturing myself by thinking i can do the things i want instead of aceepting i cant. :/ cringes #for anyone that has somehow read this far ill be ok in like 20 minutes im just having a moment dw. im fine. will handle it like an adult #and not spend to much time thinking about this

[waywardsalt]

now bc of that one post abt zelda getting fridged whenever that one guy directs a zelda game im thinking abt tetra just getting turned to stone in ph and like. what would it have been like if she were an actual character in ph. what would she have done how would this have changed the story

#not gonna do a whole lot of tagging im just musing. if you wanna rb or reply with ideas thats great #im not the person to figure this out bc i dont actually care much abt tetra #not like oh i hate her but like. i only played ph and what i see of her beyond that has not endeared me to her #shes fine i just dont get it. ig cuz i didnt play ww but eh #cuz like. ok. pretty much the majority of phs plot relies on tetra having been turned to stone and fixing that #and me being the autistic little freak i am the psrt that also makes it hard for me to wonder what could happen if #tetra werent stone and that making the game better is like. ok what about linebeck and his arc #listen his arc is so fucking good and hes great and i dont think his arc would have been so good if link wasnt the character he was put wit #cuz link is a great foil and despite having minimal characterization has just the right personality to nudge linebeck along #cuz hes def part of what inspires some of that change in linebeck so idk what might have happened #if tetra was an active player interacting with him in ph too. cuz like idk most of the time when i see people #do stuff where they interact its usually tetra one upping linebeck or whatever and thars like. ok thats whar ciela does #maybe im reading into it too much and focusing on linebeck. idk how you couldve done and changed #the plot of ph to include tetra without just straight up rewriting the whole thing or putting link away #bc look me in the eyes. i do not think linebeck would have developed the way he did without having met link specifically #salty talks #idk i feel like linebecks arc is the best bit of story in ph so i want that to remain more or less intact bc thats where a lot of #the emotional stuff comes in at the end. his dialogue in the ghost ship battle and the final boss. its important #i dont think about tetra much cant you tell. so id leave this to someone who actually cares abt her as a character

[lordiavolo]

to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.

when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.

but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.

#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL #ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as #possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch #i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my #peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts #i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont #even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix. #i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a #part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase. #i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know #there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem #for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes #im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times #anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better #than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know? #being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be #that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends) #hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a #good person it is within ur hands i promise u #ok love u goodnight #personal

[l-cereta]

oh my god u know the hrt is working when u get genuinely white girl drunk

#ive never been this drunk before this is crazy. the gender euphoria of not having any tolerance despite being able to drink 4 drinks a year #ago #like its that or someone Did something to this drink but it was from a housemate's stash. oh my god i wanted more of this im so glad im in #bed rn i could have made so many bad decisions #im like this close to posting one of the thirst(?) pics i took on my sideblog that i havent touched in a month #oh my god im fucking up so many words . gang im not pretending here i drank like 2 shots tops and its Fucking me somehow #WAIT I CAN EDIT TAGS #typos fixed :sunglasses: #genuinely crazy how much im feeling it tho ive literally Never felt it this much. id ask if ibuprofen or spiro interact w alcohol but i #think there was a decent amount of time between when i took both #yeah like i took spiro ~10:57 and then uh drank after. 11 hm ok this isnt as spaced out as i expected #i dont think im going to alcohol jail tho. im being responsible im In Bed im not gonna go do anything stupid (altho i do. want to ask #someone downstairs to do something stupid. but maybe thats the alcohol talking) #also shileas is downstairs and shes a bitch and i dont want to be cringy in front of her #i dont know if shes trans or just a really masc lesbian btw . shes cool but she also has some bad takes sometimes and i dont think she #likes me #im writng so many tags <3 but thats what love is. if anyones read this far idk like the post or something #you know the one post where the person puts an egg in their mouth. and then people share the tags. this is that #i was gonna be typing this out on a discord server but i thought no. this deserves to have everyone see it #man also if i went down and asked like if anyone wants to fuck like who would say yes . shileas is a super senior maeve is in a relationshi #p #i dont like riley and . man idk about griffin. but i think im a lesbian. maybe im just desperate. #bUT IM NOT GONNA. im not gonna. #i dont want to sleep tho i want to have fun :(( but my roommate is asleep #& its not like anyones gonna fuck me on this bed . with like my lovies (thats what i call my stuffed animals) and shit . #i genuinely didnt expect that i could get this drunk and whats crazy is i know i could be more drunk #can u imagine if someone reads this and goes 'well shes clearly sober and faking it' no </3 im simply very eloquent i was neglected as #a child so i read alot lol #whoops *a lot not alot #wasnt there a limit of like 26 tags. when do i hit that