#BECAUSE OWEN IS THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTER AND CAN DO NO WRONG!!!!!!!!

[scattered-winter]

I've stayed silent on this issue for far too long but I have to say it. the way 911 lone star treats tk in relation to owen is fucking horrendous and we gotta get that boy out of that family STAT

#AND BECAUSE ITS OWEN. ITS ONLY EVER FRAMED AS A GOOD THING. OR HUMOR. #DURING THE CANCER ARC (MY BELOATHED) WHEN OWEN CARED MORE ABOUT HIS HAIR AND HIS DICK #THAN HE CARED ABOUT HIS OWN SON ?? WHO'S HAVING TO WATCH HIS DAD DIE ??? #AND JUST. ALL THE TIMES OWEN IS NEVER THERE FOR TK WHEN HE NEEDS HIM. AND ITS WRITTEN OFF AS HUMOR. #AND HOW TK GREW UP IN A SHATTERED HOUSEHOLD AND IT WAS OWEN'S FAULT* #*we dont actually know who was more at fault w the divorce and tbh it doesnt really matter but the sentiment is the same #AND JUST. AGH. #I SAW A POST ONCE THAT SAID OWEN IMPLODED HIS FAMILY AND THE SHRAPNEL IS KILLING TK AND TBH!!! #THATS IT EXACTLY!!!!!!! #HE LITERALLY TREATS TK LIKE SHIT!!!!! AND ITS NEVER ADDRESSED!!! OR EVEN PORTRAYED AS BAD!!!!!!! #BECAUSE OWEN IS THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTER AND CAN DO NO WRONG!!!!!!!! #IM LITERALLY BITING. IM GONNA KILL A FICTIONAL FIREFIGHTER W MY BARE FUCKING HANDS #fuck maybe i need to type up that rant after all #winter speaks #911 lone star #anti owen strand

[saccharinemeat]

What are your opinions on Hfjone ships?

oh fucking man

okay imma get crucified , but here we go. opinion on popular ones + my own rareship

Liam/Bryce

fucking SUCKS. it can only work if you're self aware about how absolutely awful and hurtful liam is,and i feel from what ive seen that the fandom just reduces them to 'omg doomed yaoi' and like, woobifies them. This ship only and only works as one sided,forced and extremely toxic (in my eyes). Bryce deserves better than Liam, and liam relentlessly hurts Bryce down to the very goddamn end (← i say this as someone who is currently fuckin obsessed with liam and self recognizes in him 😐)

Liam/Amelia

I like this one. I feel like theyre pretty good for each other, although, it's sort of a doomed one,in the sense of how it would work only if they were to be in the plane forever. I do feel like Amelia sort of lost herself in the plane forever. If those two ever got out, he'd have to take some charge on their shared recovery and Liam is NOT gonna deal with that well. Still a cute ship,and I like it.

Amelia/Charlotte

...why? this feels like pairing the leftover main characters because everyone is focused on the Boys TM. they dont really have any chemistry,like,even theorically i feel like they wouldn't mesh well,unless you wanna make Amelia basically Charlotte's therapist. But yay, women! i can't be mad about this one,really. I don't mind it

Liam/Airy

Lairy is...complicated, emotionally. I can see it actually being a thing,but it's really in a fucked up way. definitely a 'i hope we both die' kind of pairing. I think about it and it gives me heartache that i cant explain. it hurts because they both are awful in different ways but also they are trying. I will say i do enjoy it but in a way that makes me hurt. lots of angst there. I think this one especially benefits from becoming a ship that happens after moldpack being A thing

Liam/Charlotte

Okay this one is not popular,in fact i feel like nobody but me is into it but theres so much potential here. especially the way they would be so horribly,terrifyingly bad to each other. I can imagine Charlotte getting out instead of Bryce,and how different it all would be. her prideful nature and liam's manipulative tendencies are so deliciously wrong. I feel they would bring the worst out of each other. I have a lot to say about them but like. Consider those first 5 months. Liam was as isolated as Charlotte was,he only sorta rejoined the others in the last two months stretch, and I think they might've interacted during that. And just, Charlotte WOULD be interested in solving the mystery,she would jump on that chance because she needs control and Liam would be elated at first and horrified later and AGH it would be so messy and interesting. please ask me more about moldpack. im the charlotte/liam person number 1 fan now.

and now rapid fire other ships,

Oscar/Bryce - can see it,and i feel like it makes sense within Bryce's trauma streak. I can imagine them bonding and it getting a bit too close

Bryce/Stella - I wish this had more exploration,object shipcest is so insanely rare. I like it

Taylor/Amelia - kinda cute,can see it if taylor stayed in the plane. Especially if it starts as a sort of one sided crush that goes too far

Liam/Owen - this is cute,can kinda see it but only in a no-show scenario (as in, ONE never happened and this is a coworker romance thing)

Charlotte/Parker - it upsets me,but i can see them as having hooked up once and Parker catching feelings while Charlotte is super uncomfortable about it and that explains that weird tension.

Bryce/Amelia - eh. sure? it's cute but i dont care for it a lot. also i dont care for sodacentpack a lot,but it's better than sodapack alone i Guess. get ♣️'d lmao

ALSO, the crackship/crossover with showvember

Airy/Popcorn - NO. piss off the joke is boring and lame and IDK i hate it.

#proship #antis dni lmao #hfjone #hfjone ships #hfjone spoilers #moldpack #charliam #osc

[boasamishipper]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

you're so prolific I want to make you pick 5 😈

how can you ask me to choose Only Five.......this is like asking me to choose a favorite child.......

The Stars Walk Backward (Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Finn/Rey)

this fic contains everything i wish the sequel trilogy had given me: luke training finn and rey, reysky, endgame finnrey, queer poe dameron (as well as a plethora of other queer characters), kylo ren actually being a villain, a finn-centric main storyline, a stormtrooper rebellion, etc etc etc. it remains one of my more complicated multi-chaps (see: all the plot points i made myself juggle), and though i will forever be angry about the direction the sequel trilogy took, this fic will always have a special place in my heart.

Make A Wrong One Right (Top Gun, Iceman/Maverick, Maverick&Goose)

[stefon snl voice] this fic has everything. time travel. magical realism. heavy angst. gratuitous back to the future references. ice and mav's conversation in ch2 remains my all-time favorite scene i have ever written for them.

Word on the Street (Top Gun, Iceman/Maverick, Outsider POV)

in which a handsome navy pilot moves into the neighborhood and the real housewives of fallon, nevada, promptly go feral - even more so when none of them can seem to agree on what the handsome navy pilot looks like. this was my first time writing outsider pov, and i had an absolute blast doing so. sharon markowe my short jewish queen 2kforever.

You Had Me At Aloe (Top Gun, Iceman/Maverick, pre-Rooster/Phoenix/Fritz)

fritz may have gotten exactly Zero lines in top gun: maverick which is sad but Also that means that my headcanon of him as amy santiago trapped in the body of jason mendoza is not jossed!! hurray!! while i loved writing fritz being a Mess and the number one iceman kazansky stan on base and playing off bradley and phoenix (as well as sick!mav confusing bradley for goose), this fic makes the top five faves list solely because of this exchange:

Fritz buries his face into a wad of toilet paper and wails. “I told my hero he looked like a plant!” There’s a long pause. Fritz can hear Phoenix whispering part of an explanation. “Well,” Bradley says at last. “In your defense, he kind of does.” “That doesn’t make it better!”

For A Minute There I Lost Myself (Ted Lasso, Nate Shelley-centric)

you know, during the hiatus i was pretty proud of myself for coming up with this version of nate's s3 arc, and after s3 dropped i was even more proud of myself because Boy Howdy is 'nate grows into himself as a coach for west ham, bonds with his players, stands up to rupert, and mends fences with ted, who also apologizes to him' a more compelling storyline than whatever the fuck jason sudeikis and co gave us. goddamn.

bonus 5 faves because i can:

When I See Your Light Shine (Ted Lasso) - In which Sam matches with Dani on Bantr instead of Rebecca, and the rom-com of the ages ensues. Part 1 of a series.

Austin Alone (9-1-1: Lone Star) - In which Owen and Billy become friends with benefits after the reopening of the 126. Co-written with my bestie @lilalbatross.

and it was not your fault but mine (Ted Lasso) - In which Jamie learns that forgiveness is not the same thing as trust, and Sam gets some agency back.

Many Happy Returns (No Exchanges or Refunds) (What We Do In The Shadows TV) - In which it is Colin Robinson's birthday.

'cause a cat's the only cat (who knows where it's at) (Top Gun, Captain Marvel) - In which Maverick and Iceman's alien cat has alien kittens. Part 8 of my TG Captain Marvel AU series.

#my fics #thanks for asking! #beautiful mutuals #(perry mason voice) how the fuck do i have 102 fics

[alphashley14]

"Don't Fuck With My Money" - Some Character Analysis

Giving into temptation, I've decided to provide a little explanation for the song I used as the chapter title and storytelling device for chapter 2 of "One of Us". Because I do put a lot of thought into each one.

I've had a LOT of fun finding which Mystery Skulls song is a perfect fit for each chapter of this story. Some are harder than others, but in Chapter 2's case I didn't spend much time on it because it jumped out at me immediately.

The beginning of this story takes place right around the time Mr. E and Professor Pericles were really starting to butt heads in their group - which is also right around the time Ricky finally started pulling his head out of his ass and realizing he backed the wrong horse in the race for the treasure. Now this is just my interpretation, but I think the reason why this happened when it did has to do with the way in which the evil entity and Professor Pericles were manipulating him. Basically - "Don't fuck with my money".

Let me explain.

The way I see it, "Don't fuck with my Money" is the main reason why Mr. E first started disagreeing with Professor Pericles. This can first be seen when they had their argument in the hallway during the 'Horrible Herd' episode. Pericles was thoughtlessly spending a SHIT TON of Destroido dollars on his endeavors without consulting Ricky, even though it was Ricky's roof over his head and Ricky's money he was spending.

And because the main thing the curse was using to manipulate Mr. E was greed, its manipulations and Pericles' actions began contradicting each other.

Mr. E worked HARD to get where he was and to build Destroido from the ground up. He was PROUD of his company and his fortune, no matter how shady it was. He hated being alone, but Destroido was (as far as we know) something he was able to accomplish by himself without the help of Pericles or any of the others. And Pericles was jeopardizing that and completely overstepping his boundaries for a treasure no one was even sure existed.

Taking all that into consideration, it's no wonder that's when the curse's hold on Ricky started slipping, allowing for common sense and common decency to shine through. Because you have to keep in mind:

Ricky Owens was never evil.

Evil touched him and manipulated him, he did evil things as a result, and there were a lot of times where he should have known better. But he himself was never evil. He was looking out for Mystery Incorporated in the beginning of the series - he cared about them. And their relationship was complicated, but he loved Cassidy too. (He never stopped looking for her and he literally became suicidal after he learned of her death)

When you get down to it, all Ricky ever really wanted was to belong somewhere.

He forgot that for a while along the way. But towards the end, he realized how badly he'd fucked up and he sacrificed himself trying to save the kids that he and Cassidy loved so much.

So in the context of this fic, listening to the song's lyrics, that's what "Don't Fuck With my Money" means. It's about Pericles' financial abuse of Ricky and Ricky's epiphany that Pericles had gone insane and never loved him. 💔

#character analysis #Mr. E #ricky owens #professor pericles #sdmi #scooby doo mystery incorporated #mystery skulls #Don't Fuck With My Money #fanfiction #one of us chapter 2

[transmasc-wizard]

Hey tell me about your favorite symbols and motifs and themes and mirrors and foils and parallels (and so on and so forth)

Is that.

hi ok im answering this finally

i know im a basic bitch. i know. but to get this out of the way: the hero's journey story structure drives me up a wall in the best way, specifically because you end where you started. its a circle. but even though the PLACE is the same, YOU are not the same, YOU are fundamentally changed, YOU fell to the abyss and were reborn and are thus not the same as the person who started, and i just. like it

when it comes to themes. fate. stories about fate are my favourite thing ever but only if theyre done right. attempting to gain agency and escape something that you literally cannot escape......... sdkjfhksffskdhfksgkj. and if they DO escape?? if they do?? they DO fundamentally break the narrative thats been bestowed upon them...... i die. i perish. i pass away. i like it. <-that in particular can be changing their own fate in a story abt fate, but also i like characters just. crushing what the narrative was supposed to be. on a related note, mulan not being a musical for the last half of the story is the best thing disney's ever done

also! to go back to characters specifically changing their own fate!! dont get me wrong, them being unable to stop fate is 10/10 too. my only issue is if they like fate and go along with fate. the chosen one gets chosen and is fine with it/happy abt it and wins and lives happily ever after.... NO!!! i want them to struggle!! i want the characters and fate to be in a (perhaps neverending) barfight!!! i dont care who wins i just want the conflict that creates

also to actually talk about specific pieces of fiction. the good place is a masterpiece and i will yell it from the rooftops forever. the comedy is fine ig but the actual underlying story makes me feel so many things. the theme of everyone having the capacity to become better is so needed i think. it is. and the idea that the system is SET UP to make it hard for people to be good is true!! its fucking true!!

also i feel like Eleanor and Chidi are foils. on some level. because yeah Chidi taught Eleanor to care more about her moral decisions, but Eleanor actually taught Chidi to be less caring about his moral decisions, too. at least, how i see it. she doesnt make him immoral by any means, but i think that just by being around Eleanor all the time, Chidi starts to learn how to actually deal with the fact that Sometimes, he will make choices that hurt people, but that's a fact of life and he can't judge himself on that alone. and. well . i like it!! i like it very much !!!

also smth i found interesting was how in Little Thieves by Margaret Owen, Vanja's (the main character) greed is directly symbolized by the jewels growing from her body. like, it's not even subtle; it's part of her curse. the thing is, i actually think it would have been executed better if Vanja didn't know that. if she had to make the (pretty obvious) connection herself & bend symbolism to work for her, lower the amount of gems killing her by lowering her own greed instead of just being handed that information, it'd have worked better.

also ARCANE i am so unwell about arcane. it is a story of a bunch of people who, i think, literally all just want to do something good but dont know how to execute it. Powder wanted to do something good in ep 3, but in the process she [redacted spoiler lol]. Jayce wants to do something good with hextech, but he's taking dangerous risks and he may hurt people or even start a war. Vi and Caitlyn both want the undercity to be better, but they don't know how to fix it and though I haven't watched episode 9 yet, I can feel a big fuckup coming. Even Mel!!! She's manipulative yeah and pretty morally grey but she wants what's best for Piltover. And Silco. EVEN SILCO. He wants the undercity to thrive. Don't get me wrong, he's a piece of shit, but i think somewhere. deep down. he wants things to be better, too

also i dont know where it is but there's a post talking about how Jinx is fire and Silco is water but their colour symbolism is opposite to that and i love that take so much. Jinx is blues and Silco is reds, but Jinx was born from fire and Silco was born from water and Jinx is a hair-trigger explosion, dangerous but powerful, while Silco is more like the ocean--often calm, but capable of killing and more than willing to do so.

that was. so long. so i will end that. i like Things in Media

#asks #will/lee

[tiriansjewel]

Another day in the jatp fandom, another controversy. As a preface, this post is really just going to be me saying: everyone needs to fucking relax. I’m tired of people calling other people out using weighty terms for no reason, I’m tired of people harassing others over something as trivial as an actor’s view on social issues, and I’m just tired of people not staying in their own circles. That’s basically a TL;DR for you all.

So, about this blocklist. Let’s get into it, shall we?

First, my main issue with this list (and I think a lot of other people’s) is use of the words “pedophilic tendencies”. I cannot understate how harmful it is to draw a false equivalence between real, actual pedophiles and smut writers on the internet. We must remember: these are fictional characters who happen to be teenagers, not real children who can be victimized. Calling adult smut writers pedophilic trivializes actual pedophilia, child porn, and CSA. When terms are watered down like this, the term begins to lose meaning. It is okay if smut written by adults about teenagers makes you uncomfortable, but it does not make the authors themselves pedophiles. Not even close.

Second, minors write smut just like adults do. The weirdest thing about this post is the fact that other minors were knowingly included on the blocklist (ie, “most writers are adults” according to the post) which suggests that the issue is with smut itself and not with who’s writing it. As I’ve said before, it is perfectly okay if you want to avoid nsfw content (which is why we have tags, by the way), but making a blocklist based solely on explicit content where you use the word pedophilia is really “not the move”, so to speak. Here’s the thing. I’m seventeen years old, which makes me a minor. I’ve written smut for this fandom, I am writing smut currently, and I will continue to write it. To suggest that smut in and of itself is bad is strange to me. Guess what? People have sex. Teenagers have sex. It’s a part of life, and it will be included in stories about people’s lives. And in comparison to other forms of explicit content like pornography, smut is a great way for young teens who are growing into their bodies to explore and learn about sex and sexuality outside of reality in a safe, contained space.

Third, there is a very big difference between adults writing about teenagers who happen to be having sex and adults sexualizing kids through writing. I’ve been around the block a few times in explicit tags, and at least I find I can always tell the difference between these two types of content. I’d also like to say that these adults (many of whom are still in their 20s, btw) were teenagers once and grew into their sexuality just like everyone else; it’s not like they’ve been separated from the experience! As a smut writer myself, rarely do I find myself personally thinking “this is hot”. I’m writing from the perspective of a character who thinks it’s hot! There is nuance and character development and thought to writing smut, yes, even pwp fics. In this section I would also like to address the fact that several of the people on this list are my friends and mutuals in this fandom. They are all lovely people who have their own reasons for writing what they write and their reason is never “ah yes I feel like sexualizing children today”. It is very shitty to make assumptions about people you don’t know and say they have pedophilic tendencies. That’s a weighty and unfounded accusation. And no, as a minor, I have never felt uncomfortable around any of them.

Fourth, many of these writers have written wonderful non-explicit fics as well! It’s a shame to write these authors off entirely because they’ve written smut. You don’t like sex scenes? Great! Exclude E and M ratings when you browse ao3. Also, some of these adult authors write fic where they age the characters up, probably because it’s closer to their own experience and it makes them more comfortable. They are literally doing exactly what you want them to do by not creating content about minors having sex. Also, I’d like to point out that Charlie is 22, Owen is 20, and Jeremy is 24, and the majority of smut is about the boys. I don’t think I should have to explain why it’s okay for other 20 somethings to view them in a sexual context, even if their characters are 17. Regardless, many of the perceived issues with these writers as people and also with their work simply do not exist.

Fifth, the number one rule of fanfiction is don’t like, don’t read. I myself have seen several nsfw fics in the jatp tag that I have cringed at and chosen not to read because of their tags, summaries, pairings, etc. And that’s okay! But never have I sent hate to these authors, called them pedos, or made large callout posts about them. I simply ignore or block the content and go on about my day. I’m not about to “yuck someone’s yum”, as it were, and I’m not going to be the moral police and tell people some type of content is wrong in all circumstances, even if I find it personally disgusting or ethically questionable. People are always going to write whatever they feel compelled to write, and the great thing about the internet is that we all have the space to express ourselves differently. As others have said, fandom is big enough for everyone. Here’s a nice little example. I’ve been in the Narnia fandom for years now. The four main characters are siblings, so there’s a lot of incest fic. I personally dislike incest fic and think it’s morally questionable, and so do many of my mutuals. We have conversations in private spaces where we tell one another who to block to avoid seeing that content, and every time I go in the ao3 tag I filter out those pairings. But never have we made public lists calling out people we didn’t know, and never have we sent derisive comments their way. Everyone must learn to keep to their own circles and curate their own feeds for fandom to be a positive experience. Everyone must learn to listen to other people and accept that everything has nuance. Everyone must be learn to be kind. As my choir teacher says, “there is never an excuse for being rude”. And when controversy must happen, let’s all be respectful, mature, and level headed in our discourse with one another.

In conclusion, this fandom has an issue with telling people what they can and cannot do or create, and that’s wrong. Fandom is supposed to be a free, positive environment. It is our duty to keep it that way. Thank you for your time.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #fandom discourse #luke patterson #julie molina #reggie peters #alex mercer #charlie gillespie #juke #willex #ruke #lalex #flarrie #fanfiction

[oabf45]

Rant time...

I hate being one of those people to write long, negative thinks pieces, but its been bothering tf outta me and I need to release it somewhere.

Don't agree, then keep it moving.

Unpopular Opinion:

I'm sorry but 911 Lone Star is not even enjoyable for me to watch anymore because now its so Owen & TK Strand central. They're definitely the Mary Sues of the show; nearly perfect, can do no wrong, always saves the day, and front and center every episode. Like how do you have such a diverse cast and focus on the same two bland white boys every episode?

I haven't even watched the past few episodes cuz I'm so annoyed and bored.

Say what you want about the OG 911 show and their storylines, but one thing they always were very good at was giving screen time and storylines to every single character. Every character has shined in their own way every episode. Hell even Ravi, Taylor, and Albert have had more stand out moments than Marjan, Paul, and Mateo, and they're not even main characters! I learned more about Ravi in a single episode than I have about Marjan in 3 seasons. And lets be real, if Grace and Carlos weren't in relationships with the white men on the show they probably wouldn't have gotten as much of a storyline as they have, and even then it ties into the white men on the show. They don't get to stand on their own and tell a story that doesn't involve the white men.

It wouldn't even be that bad if they had never advertised the show as being a very diverse show. I hate when shows do that and then treat the characters of color as nothing more than background characters and then constantly let the white characters shine.

And don't even get me started on Ronen. I'm sorry, but that man is so annoying. Like it's always great when an actor of a show you like loves the show as much as you do and connects with the fans. But he's always so over braggy. Like he's a few times stated how Lone Star is better than the OG show, which is just fucking rude to the actors of the OG show. Like its supposed to be a community supporting each other. And without them and their show he wouldn't even have his show! And he just goes over the top about how Lone Star is the number one show and what not. Like its great that you're proud, but fucking humble yourself some my dude. He's just coming off way overly cocky, and you can just tell that he KNOWS he's the face of the show and its starting to go to his head.

Give me more Majan, Paul, Mateo, Carlos, & Grace. Give me way less TK & Owen. (I will never complain about too much Judd, especially if he's with Grace). Until then i'm going to impatiently wait for the OG 911 show to come back.

#911 on fox #911 #911 lone star #owen strand #tk strand

[iamanartichoke]

... All right, let’s do this. 

Under the cut bc there’s SO MANY images, and I’m sorry, and I know the cut is worthless to mobile users but, well, here we are. Please don’t unfollow me for this post specifically. 

^^ I can’t decide if this woman holding the Tesseract is impressive or not bc, I mean, she’s wearing a glove - but, Red Skull probably was, too? Also the TVA are obviously not humans, so “impressive” may be generous. On the other hand, “only beings of enormous power” can wield the Tesseract/infinity stones, so. 

Loki looks pissed. 

“I know what this place is.” I like this, bc it provides us with some narrative evidence that Loki has always known much more about the universe and How Things Work than anyone cared to realize. Loki’s always known what’s going on; that he isn’t ignorant to the existence or inner functions of the TVA feels in-character. 

Inception! 

Lokiception! 

Why does every shot of the TVA’s headquarters look like the inside of a poorly-lit DMV? Though I guess it fits with the “timelessness” of it all as, after all, time ceases to exist or have meaning once you enter the DMV. 

But I digress. 

I’ve already remarked on the “I’m smart” comment, but I do like this shot. 

I really love what Loki’s hair is doing here, I don’t even care. For better or for worse, his hair’s doing it’s own all-natural thing and I dig it. Let it move, let it dance, let it fall into his face and obscure his features as fanfic has allowed so many times. 

I’m not a fan of the exaggerated jump or “wtf” expression along with “this is absurd” but THIS moment? Classic Loki. He looks 500% done and we’re only 51 seconds in. Also, I refuse to believe that stack of papers is everything Loki’s ever said. I know we all complained about the “you love to talk” line but, I mean, certainly he’s said more than approximately the total sum of Ulysses in his 1000 years of existence. 

Here’s what I want to know: 

1. How does Loki taking the Tesseract result in so many new timeline branches? Surely he’s only responsible for one new timeline? I really, really hope they address that this is all the Avengers’ fault. 

2. What timeline is WandaVision and TFatWS taking place in? The main one, I presume? How do we know it’s not one of these alternate ones? 

3. Which timeline is Agents of SHIELD in and will they be addressed? Bc they got up to all kinds of Time Shenanigans in seasons 5, 6, and 7 to the point where I’m pretty sure they split off into their own universe (which is why they weren’t affected by the Snap or that whole thing, or so I’ve heard). If Loki crosses paths with Coulson & crew, I may pee my pants.

4. So where does Jessica Jo - ah, forget it, I’m not even going to ask. 

I wonder what it is about this “unique Loki perspective” that Mobius is interested in recruiting. (Incidentally, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Owen Wilson in, like, a real role - wherein he’s not playing some version of Owen Wilson, that is. He’s got a costume and everything here. Fun to see!) 

This is a bamf shot, okay. The way it’s framed is pretty intimidating. 

“You listen well, brother -” 

“I’m listening.” 

^^ I figured out what kind of energy this moment has, lmao. 

“It’s adorable that you think you can manipulate me.” I mean, do I even have to comment? I am here for narratively validating the “Loki is ten steps ahead” (heh, and I quote) canon. Here’s another place where I feel like Tom was involved, since I’m pretty sure that somewhere, he’s literally said “Loki’s always ten steps ahead of everyone else.” 

That said, I’m not crazy about the delivery of this line; the over-confident tone of it smacks of “here’s someone about to get knocked the fuck off their pedestal” and I’m not here for that. 

That said, these next scenes - 

- not only show Loki with the upper hand but, also, it’s clear that Loki goes rogue at some point, possibly early on, and I do like that. Drag me if you will, but I want to see Loki scheming and being manipulative, in his own interests. 

I think that Loki being the protagonist will allow them to portray his manipulation in a way that the audience is on his side. I don’t think that the TVA is being framed as the “reliable narrator” through which the audience should view Loki, or “good guys” at all; I think that maybe they’re not evil, but there’s probably a lot of morally-grey shenanigans and goings-on. 

I also think Loki is capable of outwitting them; Loki, being ten steps ahead, has probably figured out something that the TVA has not even thought of yet, so he’s going to fix things his own way, according to his own plan. And I want to see that, because I think that this will give the narrative room to really explore both how Loki thinks and what he does when his plans go awry (as I’m sure they’re bound to do); like, how will he fix it and still remain on top in the end?

So, I mean, I’m pretty intrigued (and still cautiously optimistic). 

Lots of action shots happening, I won’t add even more images to this post, but this magic is still giving me life. 

What is this, a food court? (Speaking of which , what’s up with all the action in the mall earlier?) 

“I’ve studied almost every moment of your life” 

(^^ Missed opportunity)

“and you’ve literally stabbed people in the back like 50 times.” 

Receipts or it didn’t happen, and that’s all I’m gonna say about that line right now. 

Thanks, I hate it. This is all wrong, this whole thing - just awful, scrap it, toss it out. Tom, I love you, but this was the wrong delivery and an all-around bad acting decision. It’s too over-the-top, too earnestly “well I never!”, too comical (as in, feels like it belongs in a comic with a speech bubble as opposed to funny). 

Once more, with feeling. From the top! 

I like that we get to see Loki doing a wardrobe change, as I don’t think we’ve gotten to see that before. He always just shows up in a new outfit or illusions one on. 

That’s one ugly ass outfit, but you make it look passable, Loki. You’re beautiful, in case no one’s told you that today. 

The remaining shots are very visually pleasing and action-y and I dig them, except the volcano one (stop posing with your arms outstretched every five seconds, Loki, it’s kinda cringe. In the above still, it works; in front of a volcano, it’s just tonally off. I say this with love, don’t @ me). 

Overall, I think I maintain my 7/10 rating. I think that the trailer hints at a lot of potential in the story that I will enjoy seeing, and I think that the nature of it being a trailer means that it’s a little tonally hyperbolic (this is kinda the format for Disney shit; show the flashy bits, the funny (”funny”) bits, to draw in the casual viewer. Save the story bits for the show. (Case in point: there’s a lot of great material in TFatWS that happened just before or after the one-liners shown in the trailer.) 

So, yes. Sorry this is such a mammoth post, I just needed to explode my feels. If you think the trailer’s awesome, kudos and I love you. If you’re disappointed and upset, I’m sorry and I love you. If you’re hovering in the middle, still in cautiously optimistic territory, pull up a seat and have some popcorn with me. 

That is all. 

#loki on the small screen #long post #image heavy post #loki pokey artichokey #mood gif #i honestly don't know if i should tag spoilers? #i don't think a trailer counts as spoilers personally #but ymmv so #loki series spoilers

[woodchoc-magnum]

L0ne St@r 2x12 Hate Watch

DO NOT REBLOG THIS ONE - thanks, I’m trying to fly under the radar with my negative opinions here

Usual disclaimer, and I mean it this time: If you watch and love this show, that’s great and I hope you continue to enjoy it. Please don’t read this - simply go about having a lovely day.

If you do love this show and T*rlos and are braving this anyway - do not come in here. I mean it. This is not a T*rlos friendly zone. I do not ship it. Please enjoy your ship in peace and harmony. I have no intention of getting into arguments with anyone, I will simply ignore you.

I have done everything I can to avoid this showing up in the tags, whatever the LS tags are. Don’t send me hate on anon because I’ll delete them; I don’t care if you think I should stop watching the show, I’m not gonna. I like to suffer.

Eddie Diaz for calm and strength and to centre ourselves:

Hate, as always, under the cut:

Let's do this fucking thing, I've heard bad things about this episode

And I already know I'm wrong about the arsonist which is ANNOYING but maybe also too obvious so that's okay, I also know who the arsonist is and all the main plot points but I’ve still got to watch it to really appreciate the subtle nuances of the episode:

Oooh Billy

I ship it

Billwen for the win

This show is so dumb

Billy is smarter than Owen, maybe he should be the captain of the 126

I miss his lightning scars though

He's TWO HOURS LATER FOR DINNER

TK is looking as bland as always

They seriously waited for two fucking hours for this guy

Maybe should've put some deodorant on before going to dinner there Owen

You know I can't imagine the OG doing a storyline as dumb as this

So Carlos' dad thinks it's someone who works at the 126 or just a firefighter in general?

Well gosh darn it, it looks like Owen fits that profile exactly!

At least we get some Judd early in the episode and I love him

Angela Bassett is executive producer on this show as well? I hope she gets paid cash money for this

Billy is the red herring and I fell right into their trap

I just really wanted it to be him

Ooh Grace was listening

Oh it's 100% the arson investigator and Billy is 100% turning Owen in, I love him

Billy is amazing

He's my favourite character on this show

I hope he's not working with Owen to get the arson investigator? I hope he's actually this devious

I want him to be THIS DEVIOUS

Why the fuck does Owen wear that hoodie everywhere

TK is now having a little bitch fit

"they can't do that, can they?" he asks in a monotone, his face blank and devoid of expression

TK's real real dumb

Oh ho ho is this the shoving scene

IT IS

God Ronen CANNOT ACT

Okay so while I think it is wildly unbelievable that they would send TK's boyfriend to tell him that his father had been arrested by HIS father – it seems like a conflict – I would like to say that Carlos is being calm and reasonable

And TK is acting like a little BITCH

This is escalating quickly

Oh TK you so dumb

THE SHOVING

Wow

FOUR TIMES

Wow

Your fave is problematic, yo

Carlos deserves better than this whiny little piece of shit

And now, an interlude while I rant:

Let's talk about how Eddie Diaz yelled at Buck once in a supermarket and the fandom has never forgotten it; how his character has been villainised despite everything else going on in the show at the time, for that one fucking scene – let's talk about all the fics where Eddie hits Buck, or punches him, or rapes him – because you know those fics exist – let's talk about the "Eddie is violent" narrative that parts of this fandom like to push because Eddie yelled at Buck, one time, once, in a supermarket

Totally ignoring the fact that at no point at all, in any other episode he’s been in, has he been violent towards Buck, at all - let’s talk about how the street fighting arc was out of character for Eddie, because he was struggling to cope and looking for an outlet - let’s talk about how Buck and Eddie moved past that whole storyline and strengthened their relationship; how they built a family together, how they’re a team and they have each other’s backs no matter what, and how, not once in the entire show, have they ever been violent towards each other or pushed each other around in anger - NOT ONCE.

And let's talk about this scene, where TK, ya boy, ya sweet tender boy, just shoved the man he says he loved four times, violently, in front of people at the firehouse.

I betcha any money he doesn’t get tarnished with the Eddie-Diaz-is-violent brush, because he can do no wrong. He’s the fan favourite, and this is totally glossed over by the end of the episode and nothing will ever be said about it ever again.

Because wow, you guys. Wow. If this was my ship, I’d be pissed.

Back to the hate watch:

And I know that whole fight is for nothing because I know the plot twist – I know that the dads are working together in order to reveal the real arsonist, the investigator – so they've basically turned their children, who are in a relationship, against each other?

Also why is Billy allowed to be watching the interview?

Goddamn do we really have to show the gruesome burn victim photos

I really want Billy to be devious by the way, and not in on the plan

Oh here comes TK, looking like the little bitch he is

God he's a fucking awful actor

This is the dumbest plotline ever

Equating OWEN STRAND WITH THOR? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

BLASPHEMY

THOR IS THE GOD OF THUNDER

OWEN IS A DUMBASS

THE TWO ARE NOT EQUAL

Uh oh here comes the evil investigator

Do either of these men – Owen and Carlos' dad – stop to consider that what they're doing has kind of an impact on their children, who are currently in a relationship? No? Okay

Because this is one hell of an awkward situation

Does Owen genuinely think that Billy is the arsonist?

Interesting that the arson investigator wants any info Owen didn't give Carlos' dad, and he turned off the cameras/mics etc

This show is stupid

Arson investigator also knows that the sons are dating, interesting

"And you can pound sand!" oooh great comeback Owen

This episode is so BORING OMG

Why the fuck am I watching a shitty Law & Order knock-off when I should be watching a bonkers 911 episode

Oh no Judd's at Billy's

I really do think Billy Burke is good looking and it is a flaw of mine, I don't know what it is about him and he really doesn't look that good in this show but I really love Billy Burke okay

And I WANT HIM TO BE DEVIOUS

Oh Judd

Oh Judd thinks Billy is the arsonist

See this is why YOU DON'T LIE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU

Oh he punched him

God damn everyone is violent in this show

Judddddddddddddd

Uh oh here comes trouble to the "vagrant's" hospital room

Oh it's the arson investigator, their little bluff worked, incredible, amazing, flawless etc

Wow how amazing

It was the ol' switcheroo

Judd punched Billy for nothing

TK and Carlos nearly came to blows for nothing

Now Owen is allowed to watch the interrogation? They'll just let anyone watch those things these days

OH MAN ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT BILLY WAS IN ON IT WITH OWEN THE WHOLE TIME?

Damn it I wanted DEVIOUS god damn it

Fucking cowards

"I assumed it was probably a trap at the hospital which is why I went there anywhere"

But why is he lighting fires

A FEW MONTHS?

A man is dead

Pure theatre

So annoyed that Billy isn't devious

But the Billwen ship sails on, clowns 🤡

Do we think the arsonist has the hots for Owen? 100% yes, right?

He's very happy to see him wink wonk

This doesn't even feel like an episode of 911, it's so goddamn dumb

"I knew you had darkness in you too" – that dude definitely wants to fuck him

Why is he lighting the fires?

They're so dumb

"And now I'm going to repay the favour" – he's talking about YOUR SONS

WHO HE KNOWS ARE TOGETHER

Wow these two dumbasses really have no fucking idea do they

OH HE'S BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

Wow this is graphic

What the fuck is up with this show and the horribly graphic scenes lately?

That dude is dead yo

"Take away everything that's important to me" AND HE CALLS THE FIREHOUSE FIRST

THE FIREHOUSE IS THE FIRST FUCKING CALL???

Oh okay it did blow up and TK was there so I'll allow it

But hey look on the bright side – Owen gets to remodel again!

And isn't that what he's the best at?

Yo your firehouse is on fire dudes, better call the fire department

Does Judd apologise to Billy or no

Oh here we have TK and Carlos and their perfect love

And Carlos is the one apologising?

No.

Please tell me no

Carlos you are allowed to be pissed at him – ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

"nobody has to apologise?"

YOUR BOYFRIEND PUSHED YOU AROUND

Oh my god

Wow

Okay.

Look I'm just saying that to me this would be a GIGANTIC RED FLAG but wtf do I know

I'm just saying because I have to – if Carlos was a woman and TK did that? Whole different story gang

Whole completely different mother-fucking story

This show, wow

Wow.

Wow. This is bad.

Domestic violence happens to men too, just saying.

Wow I'm so annoyed that I've paused it to type furiously and rant that wow, they're just not acknowledging that TK was totally out of line? Okay. Wow.

And everyone's just fine with it?

Oh they're just figuring out that he set more than one fire

Maybe there's something else you care about other than the firehouse, Owen

Maybe?

BILLY IS THE ONE WHO FIGURES IT OUT

See this is why Billy is the best

Oh no TK and Carlos are in danger

Oh it's so romantic isn't it? They're gonna fuck now that everything is okay

Wow he left a lot of bombs in Carlos' house

Damn Carlos is hot

No smoke alarms?

That fire has really taken ahold there guys

I'm gonna assume you do have smoke alarms and he disconnected them

Wow he really covered all bases didn't he

Put the bombs in the bedroom as well

RIP Carlos' nice house

"I love you too" after I violently shoved you around today

Oh who needs a fucking fire department when you've got Owen fucking Strand right?

"Carlos" he says flatly. "How are you doing?" he asks in a monotone

"I should've had an extinguisher in the bedroom" DUDE NO ONE DOES

And if TK wanted one in there, he's the fucking firefighter, he should've checked when he moved in instead of assuming like a dumbass

God this show is dumb as fuck and I hate it so much

Billwen for the win

"just a couple of crap magnets" fucking a-men Judd

This show sucks

Oh no TOMMY OH NO

WHAT'S HAPPENING

OH MY GOD

WHAT THE FUCK

What the fuck

Is he dead?

TAKE OWEN AND TK INSTEAD

I’m going to say one more thing about this T*rlos storyline - if they’d done this to Buck & Eddie in the OG, I’d be fucking devastated. Like... if Buck or Eddie pushed the other around the way TK pushed Carlos around, I’d be absolutely gutted. It’s really horrible that they went down that path - whether it’s OOC or not, and you can probably argue that it is - they shouldn’t have included the scene like that in the show. 

It just raises a whole slew of questions, like... is TK violent? Is Carlos used to being pushed around in relationships? Is the show saying that it’s okay that they got a little physical because they’re both men? Domestic violence is never okay, and this is kind of... saying that it is, in certain circumstances?

That is problematic as fuck and such bad writing.

These two are in a relationship where they are living together and supposedly love each other, and this is how the writers choose to portray it? If you’re a T*rlos shipper and you’re upset about this episode, I get it. It’s really fucking terrible that they included that scene - and I would bet cold hard cash it’ll never be addressed again.

This is why LS is a bad show. It’s shitty writing. Shitty storylines. Characters who are interesting are shoved into the background and glossed over in favour of the male white characters. The OG doesn’t have this problem - for everyone complaining that Eddie hasn’t been featured as much this season (and yeah, I hate it too) - you can’t complain that the characters of colour don’t get equal screentime. 

With LS - it’s the Rob Lowe show, and everyone else is just in the background. And that’s why it’s so frustrating to watch - they have a great cast, and this could be a really good show, but it’s just not.

Do you think the LS writers patted themselves on the back after this arc and were like, "yeah we nailed it, we're amazing?"

This episode is -1,000000/10. This show should be cancelled.

Two god awful miserable fucking episodes to go.

Diaz to cleanse:

#DO NOT REBLOG #lone star hate watch #enter at your own risk

[horselover107]

Alright so I wasn’t going to make a post at all here but:

Let’s talk about Bi erasure and Torchwood. When the show was created RTD gave an interview where he stated it was “a show about a five of bisexuals that live in a sewer under Cardiff”. Jack would later have the term Omnisexual applied to him in EU material, and in some more recent interviews I’ve heard Pan used. So in Jack’s case it’s a bit of a pick your label situation, so long as we’re acknowledging he’s attracted to everyone regardless of their gender. This is not the case with everyone else. They’re Bi. As stated by their creator.

There aren’t a lot of bisexual characters. Not just in the whoinverse, or in scifi/fantasy, but like in general. Even fewer that have same sex attraction shown on screen. All five main characters are shown kissing someone of the same gender at least once on screen. This is actually pretty rare, and was ground breakingly unheard of in 2006 (Buffy, which incidentally was a major Torchwood influence, had finished airing a few years prior in the US, and for the first year of their relationship Tara and Willow from that show were barely even allowed to hold hands on screen). Ianto, Tosh, and Jack had full on relationships with people of the same gender shown on screen. But that didn’t invalidate their opposite gender relationships either. Jack had been in love with Estelle. Ianto had been in love Lisa. Tosh was in love with Owen.

It’s important that people see people like themselves on screen. It normalizes us. It normalizes our experiences. Our identities. This doesn’t mean they’re role models that can do no wrong (because the point of this show is that these five people in particular are fucking disasters), just that they’re people. Existing. Who happen to be canonically bisexual.

Now wait. What about [Ianto’s it’s just jack line, jack suddenly being attracted to mostly just men in miracle day etc.]. Look literally no one’s saying this show was perfect in its rep. Honestly pretty damn far from it. I think it’s fair to say that in these instances the show itself was committing bi erasure from what was previously established. In Ianto’s case he’d explicitly called himself bisexual in the EU* Later entries into the EU written after this moment also imply he was attracted to men and women all along (The torchwood one audios definitely make the case he had a crush on his male coworker even if he didn’t realize it as such at the time). Jack of course is famously attracted to everyone, so the Miracle Day thing was just...weird adaptational biphobia, maybe as an attempt to make Jack more “palatable” to American audience? He’s still attracted to Gwen in that series at least so uhhhhh who knows.

*okay full disclosure I inadvertently started this discourse by sending an ask to someone explaining that I actually don’t like that scene. But not because of what it said about Ianto, but because in the same breath it can be interpreted as implying Gwen is straight which she also is not.

So anyways the point I’m making, is at the end of the day all five characters are not straight, they’re not gay, and they’re given a label by the show creator. They’re Bi. Erasing that erases what little rep bisexual have in...all of media.

It’s cool to have sexuality headcanons related to how they interact with their identity. Like maybe Gwen didn’t realize she was Bi until torchwood or Tosh has a very specific taste in or women or Ianto has very strongly held internalized biphobia (that last one is pretty canon). Maybe that’s coupled with trans and non-binary headcanons too. But stating that they’re not Bi, is erasing rep. Full stop. And this includes but is not limited to: claiming Ianto is straight with an exception (yes even if the show implied that one time), claiming Ianto is gay, calling Tosh straight with an exception, calling Gwen straight, calling Owen straight etc.

There is so little bisexual rep. Just let us have this.

#torchwood #Ianto Jones #bisexuality #captain jack harkness #Gwen Cooper #toshiko sato #owen harper #wall of text

[red-sector-rivendell]

media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear

#long post #movies #film #cinema #cinephile #ask #movie recommendations #you have no obligation to read all that #really shows how bored i am that i wrote out this whole fuckin thing on my phone lmao #youre welcome?

[spnopineapples]

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I'm READY.

LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!!!

......

.......

Are ya gone yet? Have you scrolled past if you don't want to see?

....

Alright. *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND NECK* Let's jump on into this!

First off I'm done with the game.

Second off..... THIS GAME WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL!!! 10/10

The ending litterally killed me. Finished 2 hours ago,talked the ear off of my best friend for about 1 and a half hours and gushed and lamented the whole time. Cried for about 20 minutes by myself. Had an existential crisis. So on so on. And now I'm here, in the middle of an online meeting cause, ya know, Corona, muted with no camera on, because I'd much rather be typing out this dissertation.

Y'ALL. Go play this. It is AWESOME.

Now for the third and probably longest bit of this. My rebuttal to the bad reviewers:

I still contend that the bad reviews are 1 of 2 reasons with a little of a 3rd mixed in to both. #1. Being that people are pissed they killed off Joel and think the story did a disservice to the characters. #2. People are pissed because they think Naughty Dog was pushing a liberal agenda with a heavily muscled female antagonist/protagonist, a gay Ellie, and a transgender side character, Lev. The mixed in #3 is the extensive violence which I do contend was a lot. Yeah LoU1 was definitely violent, but damned this one got dark. And that's something coming from me because I am a fan of gratuitous violence.

Let me tackle these real quick. I'll be brief about #2 here though.

IN REBUTTAL TO REASON #2 - If you honestly didn't like LoU2 because of this reason (which I explained in my previous post about how IT IS logical that Abby be built the way she is and how Naughty Dog was definitely NOT shoving this or ANY of the others i mentioned in anyone's face in my opinion) you're in need of some corrective thinking and you should re-evaluate your ideas and realize that your opinion on these social issues doesn't matter and is wrong. None of these things make the game story illogical or bad. Bottom line: there are people like this in the world and their stories in this game drive the plot. It doesn't belittle the previous games or detract from the current game at all. You're just bigoted. Calm your tits and don't play the game if it upsets you so much. Pull a Seth and bury the hatchet. Make some steak sandwiches.

But I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the majority of the bad reviewers were more pissed at reason #1, Joel's Death. But real quick.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON #3 -If you hated the game because of the amount of violence, do realize that the violence was the point of the story this time AND IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A DRAG ON YOUR SOUL. LoU1 was about finding love again in a violent world. Love being in the foreground and the violence a backdrop, which is why the violence didn't feel so in your face even though it was PLENTY violent. LoU2 was about succumbing to the violent world because of losing love. Violence being the foreground and tainted love (insert song here ya bastards) being the backdrop that drives it. AND HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART PLEASE READ THIS PART AT LEAST IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

Think of the two endings. LoU1 WAS a story ABOUT finding love in a violent world BUT ENDED with Joel committing a violent act to protect his love (killing all the Fireflies, 1 of which was Abby's father and the driving reason for LoU2's main plot, and DOOMING THE WORLD TO INFECTION AND DAMNING HUMANITY). LoU2 WAS a story ABOUT losing love and reacting with violence BUT ENDED with Ellie doing a peaceful act (allowing Abby to leave alive with Lev) because of the love she had for Joel (that flashback scene of Joel playing guitar when Ellie decided to forgive him for the violence and lie at the end of LoU1).

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS?

There NEEDED to be a LoU2 because LoU1 ended with violence and a lie. LoU2 fulfilled this with an ending of forgiveness driven by a memory of love from the first game.

I've read a lot of the bad reviews where they mention the violence became too much and ruined the game. And that Ellie wouldn't act like that. First off Ellie totally would, fuck off with that noise. Second off THAT'S THE POINT. This was a story about how revenge is cyclic violence and it doesn't end until someone makes the decision to end it!

BOTTOM LINE: I felt ragged 2/3's of the way thru this game because of the violence, but that's the point of the story. Revenge is not worth it. Especially when it's with people like Abby and Ellie. Because neither are villians. AND BOY HOWDY DID IT TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. Because I HATED ABBY FOR KILLING JOEL. When I first started playing her I DID NOT WANT TO BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY WITH HER. I litterraly felt dirty playing her. But this game did something amazing to get me around to appreciating her character. NOT LIKING HER CHARACTER, but appreciating. And I will tackle this in my next rebuttal.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON # 1 - Let's talk about Joel's death.

I WILL NOT LIE TO YALL.

I was mightily upset about his death. At first I thought it to be a disservice to a beloved character. But then I realized something. See above about Joel's actions. He killed all those Fireflies and DAMNED THE WORLD. Not only that it is specifically mentioned in both LoU1 and in this game that Joel and Tommy did horrible things before they met Ellie and before Jackson. JOEL WAS NOT A GOOD GUY.

I think what people are upset about is the REALNESS of this game. A lot of other game developers don't do what Naughty Dog has done. Naughty Dog did not shy away from Joel's character flaws and his past wrongs! In fact, all the user's that use the reason for hating the game as "too many plotholes" Y'ALL FUCKING PLAYIN. More on that later.

Back to what I was saying about realness. In the real world, Joel's death and the brutality of it and suddenness of it is actually a very logical event that would occur. Abby doesn't KNOW Joel like we do. All she knows is this guy killed her father and a lot of her friends and damned humanity in the process. LoU1 is not a happy game. Might I remind yall about Sam and Henry? But his death was not "sudden". And it didn't steal Joel from us. I actually really enjoyed all the flashbacks to him. We got more than enough time and I actually feel as if the time we got with Joel was better because of his death so early in the game. DO NOT TELL ME THAT THAT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM FLASHBACK DIDN'T FULFILL EVERY FEELING NEED.

And now for the wrap up - the big hangup that I see of those who hated Joel's Death is that the story didn't redeem it. They couldn't "buy" Ellie forgiving Abby at the end.

As I stated I will not lie. I was worried for about 2/3s of the way through this game that the bad user reviews were accurate and that the story sucked because I couldn't see where the writers were going. All I saw was senseless death of characters that I had loved and that I was coming to love. I straight up love Jesse by the way. It wasn't until Abby met Lev and Yara that I started seeing the majesty of this revenge story.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HATE FUCKING REVENGE STORIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE, NO, THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. Before this game I'd be like "miss me with that bullshit" but after today I would say "give it to me like this." This actually felt real. And boy was it raw. Guys, the reason I started forgiving Abby is because of her decision to help Yara and Lev. Because it was her attempt to right the wrong of killing Joel which was eating her alive. Her and Owen and Mel. Guys. She is Joel. Why the hell do you think Joel did what he did for Ellie in the first game? Because he liked her at first site? BULLSHIT. He did it because Tess told him to do something good for once. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ABBY THEN YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JOEL. I get it. Abby had to earn that with her story because at the beginning I'd have said leave her to the clickers. BUT CONTRARY TO THE USERS OF THIS REASONING SHE DID DESERVE HER REDEMPTION. The game shows over and over and over again that Abby isn't some mustache twirling villian who deserves instant death. She is complicated. She cares and she hates and she loves. She knows what's right and wrong and tries to do right as much as possible but she's human and she gets angry. Anger means you care.. and she cared about her father. She's a good human too because good humans feel shitty about doing shitty things and if you are observant at all you can tell immediately with Abby, as we play her in her Seattle Day 1, that she has doubts and isn't comfortable with her role in how Joel died. SHE DESERVED BEING FORGIVING BY ELLIE AT THE END. AND IN THE SAME TOKEN ELLIE DESERVED FORGIVING HER AND BEING FORGIVEN BY ABBY. It is very clearly obvious by the end of the game that Ellie could not reconcile her revenge killings with her best memories of Joel or with the actions she had to take to get there. Also it is of very important note here that Ellie stopped drowning Abby because of a flash image of Joel playing guitar. And then later on actually seeing the memory associated with that image that stopped her you can understand why Ellie did stop outside of just being as tired of violence as Abby was. The memory shows Joel and Ellie agreeing to try to forgive Joel for lying to her about the Fireflies and denying her her purpose. All this the night before he is killed. Note what Joel says. "If God gave me the chance to do it all over again. I would have done the same thing." Just that fucking devotion he has for Ellie shines through and she really understands his reasons for what he did. Still doesn't feel as if she can forgive him. THAT IS IMPORTANT. She DOES NOT agree with his decision. She understands it, but doesn't agree. But still decides to try and forgive. GUYS. That's exactly what she understands about Abby. Joel was sorry but he still would have done it. Same with Abby. There's a reason that image popped up as she was killing Abby and not the image of his beaten up face.

Remember that line from LoU2? Tess said it. As she is confessing to Joel that she was bit. "We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time!" And Joel says "No, we are survivors!"

Y'all don't think for one second that Joel wouldn't have gone after that Soldier who shot Sarah if Tommy hadn't shot him? Y'all kidding yourselves.

Abby realizes this truth in the end. She realizes the part she played in enhancing and playing into the fucking violence and shittiness. Staining and tainting herself in the process. She just wanted to be clean. And Ellie just wanted to be clean.

Bombing this game is doing a fucking disservice to the emotional complexity of this story. It's been a long time since I've been that emotionally twisted.

This game isn't preachy. This game makes something clear that alot of other revenge stories get wrong. Revenge makes otherwise good people do shitty things and the shitty things taint us for the rest of our lives. At least Ellie and Abby stopped themselves before they tainted all their being.

Yeah we're shitty people. But we don't have to be.

#the last of us #the last of us 2 spoilers #the last of us part 2 #the last of us ii #the last of us 2 #I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I HAD TO RANT #FUCKING GREAT GAME #Hopefully y'all don't kill me over this #need to go post reviews so that this game gets the user rating it actually deserves #a 10 out of 10

[gins-potter]

The Yaya and Torrey of it all...

To distract myself from the fact that Chicago Med likely won’t be uploaded for hours yet, and also because I’ve been kind of slack about posting about One Chicago lately, I thought I’d write down some thoughts I’ve been having about Yaya and Torrey leaving.

At first I was stunned, like I did not see that coming at all.  Tbh I’d forgotten completely that with this being the sixth season most of the main casts contracts would be up.  Fire owns my heart so I’ve mostly been following news about Jesse and Taylor’s contracts, while keeping half an eye on news about PD contracts - Med was so not on my radar.  But once I think about it, Torrey and Yaya leaving kind of makes sense.... emphasis on kinda.

(it got kinda long so full thoughts under the cut)

April Sexton - Nurse Practitioner

I think everyone agrees that this is the departure that makes the most sense of the two.  I think I remember being a little worried when this storyline started that this was a way of writing April out but I guess I just settled into the assumption that she would study off-screen and maintain a work/study balance ala Penelope from ODAAT (if you’ve never seen that show the main character Penelope works as a nurse while studying to be a NP at the same time and both are shown on screen).  Presumably now April will just be written out completely to go study.  

I’ve seen some theories floating around that she’ll move out of state to be with Noah (where did he move to? Atlanta?) and I think that could really work.  I do wonder how this might be tied in with Archer’s offer to get her into that school she wanted.  I cold see April going back and forth for a few episodes deciding if she wants to take him up on his offer or not, so I’ll be interested to see how that develops.

I’ll definitely miss April, she was never my favourite character, but I think season 6 was really good for her and seeing her work in two different areas she was clearly passionate about was nice to see.  And as far as storylines go, writing her out so she can advance her career is a good way to do it, it’s hard to be too sad about her leaving when you’re happy for her as a character.  I am a little bummed in terms of the Chexton of it all just because I did ship them for a little while, and I did kinda see them getting back together eventually, but I guess that won’t be happening now.  I’m not too heartbroken about it but I did think they had moments where they were good together.  I think one of the biggest downsides to writing April out is that it means we’ve completely lost another sibling duo in the One Chicago universe (and if I’m counting right that leaves only the Halstead bros standing?)(editing to clarify I mean siblings who are main characters/regulars on the shows not characters who have siblings in general).  But it sounds like Yaya already has a new show lined up in which she’s the lead (correct me if I’m wrong about that part) and I think this NP storyline really serves for a good exit for April and Yaya both.

Natalie Manning - Where the hell does she go from here?

The one that makes less sense to me has to be Nat’s exit.  And I say that in the context of the entire show, her current storyline trajectory makes a lot of sense actually.  Obviously we don’t know for sure what’s going to happen but there’s a lot of theories going around that make a lot of sense.  Where we’re at as of writing this post (I haven’t seen 6x14 yet) Nat’s taken the pills, Will’s in trouble for it, and she knows he’s in trouble for it.  It seems plausible to me that from here we get a couple episode of Nat fucking around trying to come up with a way to get Will out of trouble, before ultimately coming clean to save his ass, the repercussions of this being that she has to leave the hospital.  I have two problems with this.

The first, where the hell does this leave Natalie?  Because at this point we’re contending with two different entities, the drug company who was in charge of the trial (spacing on the name) and Chicago Med as a hospital.  Will’s in trouble with the former so to save him that’s who Nat’s primarily gonna have to come clean to, and I’m having a hard time seeing how realistically they wouldn’t want to charge her with the theft.  But where would that leave Nat besides probably in jail and Owen on his own with a sick grandma?  It’s kind of a shit ending for Torrey’s character, and I just can’t see the Med writers going that route.  So I guess my theory is that Sharon steps in and brokers some kind of deal with the drug company where she convinces them not to press charges but to show that Nat is facing consequences she’s fired.  Then she either stays in the city with Owen and just (presumably) finds a new job, or I can even see her also moving out of state as I think her parents live in Seattle?

My other problem is that this kind of doesn’t make sense in the broader context of the show.  The Chicago Med docs are always up to shady shit, Will and Nat most especially, why is now suddenly the time they face consequences for their actions (besides the fact that Torrey is leaving of course).  It just seems mighty convenient to me, and that’s not something I particularly like about character exits like this.

In terms of Nat’s character in general leaving, my feelings are pretty similar to April’s exit.  While I think the exit itself hasn’t been set up great (I much prefer how they’ve set up April’s) I am vaguely sad about Torrey/Nat leaving.  Much like April, Nat was never my favourite character, in fact I swung wildly between eh she’s alright and oh my god I hate this chick for a while there.  But again, like April, season 6 was good for her, and I even got on board with Mancel (rip that relationship) and it’s sad to see her go just when I was starting to like her again after really really not liking the way Manstead ended.  Speaking of, I think even more so than Chexton I fully expected Manstead to get back together by the end of the show, and I even thought they were setting that up by giving them storylines together in the back half of this season (now I just wonder if they wanted to give fans a chance to see them interact again before Torrey left).  So it feels very weird to me that we won’t see them again now after spending seasons thinking of them as an endgame ship.  I can see there being some kind of final romantic moment between them, especially if Nat’s written to move out of state but idk if I would want that or if it would just be rubbing salt in an open would.  That all being said I wish Torrey all the best, I read that she already has a movie gig lined up so that’s awesome for her.

Final Thoughts

Look, the writing on Med has always struck me as kind of repetitive if not weak in general so I can’t really blame either Yaya or Torrey for wanting to move on to new things.  Even if it was the best writing in the world, playing the same character for 6 years is a long time and while there are plenty of actors who like a steady gig there are also plenty more who like the challenge of new characters/stories/sets etc.  And like I said above, they already have new gigs lined up so this is clearly something they both want so I’m at least glad that that allowed the writers to set up somewhat believable exits for them both.  I don’t know if I would say I hope they come back someday, but it seems like they’re certainly going to leave it open for that.  Unless they pull an Ava Bekker-esque last minute death, it seems like they’re both going to leave the show alive and somewhat happy so there’s always a chance they bring them back one day (this feels more likely for April/Yaya then Nat/Torrey but you never know).  All in all definitely not the worst character exits I’ve seen in this franchise, or even this show, yeah I’m looking at you Ava Bekker.

#this was long so i'm fully expecting people not to have read the whole thing #i was going to add a section on possible replacements but this was long enough #i'll make a separate post for that i think #one chicago #chicago med #torrey devitto #Yaya DaCosta #natalie manning #april sexton

[elenuvien]

calmer loki season finale thoughts:

i did want loki to be the one to break out the multiverse because he spent 5 episodes opposing the idea of his fate being decided so i wanted him to conclude that yes, it should be done even with all the risks to it. his hesitation made sense because he didn't want to hurt people again so he wanted to consider the least harmful option but i'm bummed out that, in the end, he thinks that what happened, giving people freedom and unleashing chaos, was wrong. it's like saying that his conclusion to everything was "chaos is worse than having no choice in who you want to be" and that's not the loki we spent 5 episodes crafting

season 2 deserves mobius and loki being happy together and kiss, for fucking sake. if you want to acknowledge loki's queerness, show it, and there you have a man whom loki trusted and who didn't betray him (and tom and owen have so much chemistry it's insane)

too much exposition, not enough plot. it really felt like the main purpose of the episode was to set up MOM, spiderman 3 and season 2 of loki rather than pay off all the things form episodes 1-5

sylki kiss wasn't even romantic, it was manipulation, she used his feelings (but then again, she's never seemed receptive to his obvious crush/infatuation). she is a loki, except one who didn't grow away from her trauma and past like we watched TVA loki do, like we watched OG loki do

but you just know season 2 will have loki wanting to save her or something because we gotta nail that cishet couple to make non-gays happy and have that token loki hetero romance

one thing the episode did do good was to pose the question whether killing kang or not was the right thing to do. i'm saying "yes". because on one hand you have freedom and giving people choice which can (and already did) lead to consequences. on the other you have "peace" but at the cost of people's free will

loki, till the end, felt like he changed as a person (too fast) but at the cost of being the showrunner of his own path. maybe my feelings will change on this but once he paired up with sylvie, it was mostly her calling the shots, being capable, having a plan. loki felt like he was following her lead, helpless to carry himself on his own, like a sidekick. loki flt passive form episode 3 onwards.

they didn't use the "king loki" and "stark tower loki" shots from the trailers and what's up with that? deleted scenes? a set up for season 2 where those are loki variants unleashed by the multiverse?

for a season finale the episode felt underwhelming as a whole (so much talking and exposition). there were good parts in it, there were good parts but done in a not-so-good way, there were bad things

one way to look at episode 6 is "how to spend 30 minutes talking and 10 undoing everything we spent 5 episodes building or not paying off things and torturing a tortured character even more"

but kang was so good, jonathan majors killed it

i wonder if we'll ever have loki who is actually powerful and not easily outdone by every magic user he comes across. been waiting since 2011 and will be waiting like an idiot until the end

#loki spoilers #loki series

[lokilickedme]

Master Fic List ~ updated 7/13/20

Sorry for taking so long to do this...it was brought to my attention that it’s been almost a year since I updated this list and several people have requested it - so here you go, my fully updated and almost completed Master Fic List with links, synopsis, character rosters, pairings, ratings, word/chapter counts, warning tags with squick notices, and update dates.

All fics on this list are posted at AO3 unless noted

*The Loki Reads series is exclusively on tumblr.com

Everything is under the cut because this list is LONG (75 individual works, 13 series, plus published works included at the end of the list)

Fics are categorized by main character (i.e. Loki, Tom Hiddleston as Original Characters, etc)

Series and associated AU’s and side stories are grouped together (Chemical + Prehistories + Troika Apocalyptica + Penumbraluna + Wolfsbane…you get the idea)

Fics are identified as WIP (work in progress) or complete, with associated word counts and chapter amounts.  Latest update dates are noted for WIPs.

WARNINGS are notated, though the warning tags at AO3 should be paid attention to because they are far more complete and detailed.

Fic genres (romance, comedy, thriller) are briefly notated but these are general.

There is a link at the end of the list to my published books at Amazon, if you’re interested in those.

This list will be updated as fics update and incomplete information will be added as I have time.

Click READ MORE to see the complete list:

Exclusively on tumblr:

Part 1 - Loki Reads The Night Manager Part 2 - Loki Reads High Rise Part 3 - Loki Reads Fifty Shades of Grey

~WORKS AT AO3~

Word/chapter counts are current as of 7/13/2020

Loki

Jack Montague - WIP - 183,860 words, 65 chapters, ongoing - WARNINGS: hardcore sex, language, violence, sexual deviance, mentions of abuse, mentions of depression, explicit everything, blood/vampyric activities, numerous smutty kinks, and whatever else you can think of.  Not kidding, everything in this one is really hardcore.  Supernatural romance/adventure in the post-MCU/Post-2012 Avengers.  Main character - Loki.  Secondary character/love interest -  Jack Montague.  Relationship - Loki/Jack. Side characters - Adam (OLLA), Thor, Nick Fury, Eve (OLLA), Selina (Sanguine).  The Trickster God has been exiled to Earth for a very long time…as the oldest living monster in the realm, he’s bored off his skull and endlessly intrigued when he runs across a monster of an entirely different kind - and strikes up a playful romantic partnership with a vampire who may be far more than he bargained for.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*  Updated 6/14/20

Sugar Skull - complete - 3115 words.  Side story to Jack Montague, part 3 of The Joker And The Thief.  Main character - Loki.  Side characters - Jack, Thor. WARNINGS: Language, sex.  What Loki does every year on Halloween.  *MATURE*   **also published in the Trickster Tales compendium

The Gucci Incident - complete - 4278 words.  Side story to Jack Montague, part 2 of The Joker And The Thief.  Main character - Loki.  Side characters - Adam.  WARNINGS:  Mostly language.  Loki and his vampire father-in-law Adam chase a pair of bedroom slippers across New York City.  *MATURE*

The Trickster’s Wife - complete - 71,001 words, 31 chapters.  Post Avengers, MCU.  Romance/epic adventure.  WARNINGS:  Very explicit sex, some language, some violence, very adult themes, mentions of abuse.  Main character - Loki.  Secondary character/love interest:  Princess Anja.  Relationship -  Loki/Anja.  Side characters - Thor, Odin, Frigga, Bragneire.  Asgard needs Loki, but Loki has a price - a wife he has no right to ask for.  So of course he does just that.  *MATURE, EXPLICIT*

The King of All The Rest - WIP - 1444 words, 1 chapter, ongoing (Part 2 of Myths of Asgard) - Sequel to The Trickster’s Wife.  Romance/comedy. Main characters - Loki, Bragneire, Anja.  Relationship -  Loki/Anja.  Loki has retired, left Asgard, left the throne, left everything save for one beautiful thing that he’ll never lose again…the wife he fought so hard to keep.  WARNINGS: Sex, language. *MATURE*

The King’s Heart - complete - 47,229 words, 21 chapters.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, sexual violence, abuse, language, mental illness, blood, grief, very adult themes.  Main character - Loki.  Secondary character/love interest - Lyra.  Side characters - Thor, Frigga, Aleks Lokisson, several offspring.  Post-Avengers UA.  Loki has been given the throne, but his apparent madness prevents him from opening his heart to his new queen. *VERY EXPLICIT*  **currently being reworked for publication

The Wolf King - complete - 44,315 words, 17 chapters.  WARNINGS:  Sexual activity, language, some violence, smutty talk from Loki, adult themes.  Fluffy adventure/romance.  Loki’s son Aleks has been handed the throne, but he doesn’t want it yet - not while there’s a universe to be conquered in “other” more satisfying ways.  But a mysterious pair of offworlders have a vested interest in the boy king fulfilling his prophecy the way his famous father did.  Main characters - Aleks, Loki.  Secondary characters/love interests - Cara, Lyra.  Side characters - Thor, The Syl, Sleipnir, Loki’s daughters, some surprise guests at the end. *MATURE*

Lost Creatures - complete - 4929 words.  Main characters - Loki, Thor.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, explicit language, violence, male/male.  Loki and Thor have always loved as much as they’ve hated…but which of the two emotions is the stronger?  *EXPLICIT*  **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Civil Disobedience - complete - 1066 words.  WARNINGS:  Spanking, nonconsensual. Main character - Loki.  Short vignette involving a Dominant Loki and his disobedient plaything.  *EXPLICIT*   **Rewritten for publication in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Mine - complete - 2051 words.  WARNINGS: Explicit sex, language, voyeurism, angst.  Main character - Loki. Side characters - Thor, the bride.  She was one thing over all others…she was mine. *EXPLICIT*   **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

THE TEMPEST SERIES

Main character for all parts - Loki.  WARNINGS FOR ALL PARTS:  Hardcore sex, strong language, some violence, implied bestiality, very heavy smut.  All parts complete.  Dark romance/thriller.

Part 1 - Darkness Lives In Me - Loki’s fall from grace (1421 words) Part 2 - Before Chaos - Loki plots to take over Midgard (3120 words) Part 3 - After The Maelstrom -  Loki kills some time before the conquest (3088) Part 4 - Eye of The Storm -  Loki finds a way to…well… (2369 words) Part 5 - Her Side of The Storm -  Loki’s chosen conquest tells her side (2476) Part 6 - A Perfect Whirlwind -  Loki serves his time, misses his chosen (2928) Part 7 - Cyclone In A Teacup -  A conjugal visitation to Midgard (2654 words) Part 8 - An Intemperate Rain -  Loki comes bearing gifts (2132 words) Part 9 - Darkening Skies -  A trinket with…dubious powers (4304 words) Part 10 - The Nature Of Thunder -  Loki, kidnap, what could go wrong? (3325) Part 11 - Lightning Strikes -  Fury’s revenge, Loki’s redemption (3905 words)

*All parts of the above series:  EXTREMELY EXPLICIT including violent consensual sex*

No Regrets -  complete - 1634 words. WARNINGS:  Crazy explicit sex, language, absolutely no plot.  Smutty comedy.  Loki, dad’s throne, and a willing partner…just another Wednesday on Asgard. Main character - Loki.  Side characters - woman, Thor, Odin. *EXPLICIT* **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Whisper -  complete - 6440 words, 6 chapters.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, explicit language, threatened explicit violence.  Main character - Loki.  Side character - woman.  Romance.  Asgard has fallen while Loki is imprisoned far beneath the city, leaving him the sole survivor - and as the world slowly decays above him, he opens a path to escape through the dreams of a Midgardian female.  *EXPLICIT*

The Dragon Queen - complete - 37,503 words, 28 chapters. Main character - Loki.  Relationship - Loki/Eira.  Romance. WARNINGS: Very hardcore sex, violence, rape, abuse, language, torture.  Odin has given up trying to break Loki - until the day he sends his other prized prisoner into the Trickster’s cell.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*  *WARNING - CONTAINS NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENES*

The Good Stuff -  complete - 3513 words.  WARNINGS: Crude explicit language, some smutty sex and references and drunkenness.  Comedy.  Main characters - Loki and Thor.  Side characters - Frigga, Odin, castle servants.  Two bored brothers, one long night, and mom’s secret hooch stash - what could go wrong?  *MATURE*  **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Smooth Criminal - Part 1 of the Criminal Activity Series - complete - 4252 words.  WARNINGS: Explicit sex and dominance.  Avengers (2012) adjacent.  Where did Loki get that suit anyway?  *EXPLICIT*  **published in the Trickster Tales compendium, original version remains on AO3

Blue Collar Criminal - Part 2 of the Criminal Activity Series - incomplete - 1171 words.  Post-Avengers.  WARNINGS: None really, it hasn’t gotten far enough yet.  Sitting on the throne is dull as fuck.  Might as well hit Asgard again, only this time Loki only intends to conquer one human - the girl from the suit shop.  *WILL BE EXPLICIT IF I EVER FINISH IT*

Tom Hiddleston as Original Characters

The Department - WIP - 148,227 words, 37 chapters, ongoing. *UPDATED 7/10/20* Main characters - Greta (OFC), Chief (Tom Hiddleston).  Side characters - Andy (Andrew Hozier-Byrne), Cree (Jason Momoa), Cade (Chris Evans), Kevin (Dave Bautista), Hawk (David Tennant), Sarah (Sarah Lancashire), Ted (Sebastian Stan), Wilson (Owen Wilson).  Pairings:  Greta/Chief, Greta/Andy (FWB).  Comedy/romance.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, explicit crude language, sexist banter, minor violence.  Greta arrives in a small town in Minnesota to wait out her disciplinary review after an on the job accident and struggles to survive a crackpot stationhouse full of cops who may or may not be quite what they seem…while trying really hard not to fall in love with the Chief.  *EXPLICIT*  - updates weekly (Sundays) **now off hiatus!

Hammer Of The Gods - WIP - 29,935 words - 28/30 chapters, ongoing.  *UPDATED 4/18/20*  Main characters - Jake (Tom Hiddleston), Tate (OFC), Pete (Chris Hemsworth).  Pairing: Jake/Tate.  WARNINGS: hardcore language, explicit sex, mild/brief violence, referenced mental/emotional/verbal abuse.  AU Loki and Thor as human construction workers renovating a house next door to a recently divorced mom who really needs to learn how to live again.  *EXPLICIT*

Sunflower - WIP - 33,577 words - 13/15 chapters, ongoing.  Main characters - Tommy (Tom Hiddleston), Chloe (OFC/Dove Cameron).  Side characters - Amy (Sarah Wayne Callies), Martin (Idris Elba), Blake (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) , Tony (Robert Downey Jr).  Pairing: Tommy/Chloe.  Sweet romance.  Don’t park in the disabled spot unless you’re ready to fall in love with the girl you stole it from.  WARNINGS:  Sex, mild language, injury description.  *MATURE*

THE MCCLARY CHRONICLES

Part 1 - Sgaile Leannan -  complete - 58,066 words, 20 chapters.  Main characters - King McClary (Tom Hiddleston), Molly Thompkin (OFC).  Romance.  Molly arrives in Scotland on a work assignment and meets her nemesis - the surly kilted sheep farmer who owns the land she’s trespassing on. WARNINGS:  Very explicit sex, explicit language, mild violence.  This story was rewritten for publication with changes - original version remains on AO3.  *EXPLICIT*

Part 2 - Samhach Mhiannan -  complete - 78,763 words, 25 chapters.  Molly returns home to Philadelphia with a little secret - and her world flips upside down when King shows up at her door months later.  SAME WARNINGS AS PART 1. This story was rewritten for publication with minor changes - original version remains on AO3.  *EXPLICIT*

Part 3 - Na Binne an Leann -  complete - 77,600 words, 25 chapters.  Molly moves to Scotland to be with King, but her future with the cranky sheepherder is, as always, shaky and uncertain.  SAME WARNINGS AS PARTS 1 AND 2. This story was rewritten for publication with minor changes - original version remains on AO3. *EXPLICIT*

A Meeting With The King - complete - 2507 words.  Side story to The McClary Chronicles. What really happened that day at Clendon Williams when King met Ian, told from King’s POV. WARNINGS: Some language, mild violence.  *MATURE*

Aingeal Ard - WIP - 16,297 words - 16/20 chapters, ongoing.  *UPDATED 10/14/19*   WARNINGS: rough language, explicit sex.  Main characters - King McClary (Tom Hiddleston), Molly Thompkin (OFC). A retelling of Sgaile Leannan from King’s POV, chapter by chapter.  *EXPLICIT*

Chemical and its Related Side Stories

Chemical - incomplete version, ended - 263,007 words, 58 chapters.  This story was rewritten and completed for publication in two volumes with major changes - the original version minus the final chapters and epilogue remain at AO3.   AU Loki/Tom Hiddleston as a bartender in San Diego who falls for the last girl he should ever look at - who just happens to be his soulmate.  Main characters - Tom Heyworth (Tom Hiddleston), Anja Black (OFC).  Side characters - Chris (Chris Hemsworth), Ewan (Ewan McGregor), Pop Heyworth, Cara, Kady, Robert Laing, Eric (Michael Fassbender).  Romance.  WARNINGS: Extremely hardcore sex of all kinds, language, mild violence, references to past sexual abuse and child abuse. *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT, NOT REMOTELY KIDDING*

THE CHEMICAL PREHISTORIES

All parts complete, all parts MATURE AND/OR EXPLICIT for sex, language, references to past abuse, mild drug use.  **This series of shorts have now been published as Volume Three of the Chemical books

SIR -  Characters:  Anja’s mother and her lover; young Anja Das Vorspiel -  Characters:  Alicia and The Boss Quiet Gods -  Narrator:  Eva.  Characters:  Eva, Tom, Chris Medialuna -  the original unused ending to Chemical Two Princes -  Narrator: Anja ADDITIONAL WARNING: character death The Mechanic -  Narrator:  Chris.  Characters:  Chris, Tom, Anja Eidolon - Narrator:  Emma.  Characters:  Emma, Tom, Anja ADDITIONAL WARNING: disturbing imagery, imagined character death, mental illness The Scottish Barman -  Narrator:  Ewan.  Characters:  Ewan, Tom, Anja Taos -  Narrator:  Alicia  ADDITIONAL WARNING: character death Girly -  Narrator:  Anja

Penumbraluna -  complete - 19,179 words, 10 chapters. Main characters - Tom and Chris (as teens).  Side character - Meredith Hemberley.  Coming of age.  WARNINGS:  Strong language, references to sexual abuse and child abuse, mild drug and alcohol use, male/male (brief), semi-explicit sex, character death.  Tom’s friendship with Chris, from the day they met as kids up to the point where Chemical begins.  *VERY MATURE THEMES*  **This novella has been published as part of Chemical Volume Three

See You After The Apocalypse - Part 1 of the Troika Apocalyptica series - complete - 5414 words.  Chemical AU, post-Chemical - Tom, Anja, Chris, Pop, Cara, and Tom & Anja’s two babies have all survived the zombie outbreak, hunkered down in the cabin in Big Bear.  But Tom sends Anja and the two little ones away with Chris when the mountain is overrun with the undead.  Will they find each other alive when it’s all over? WARNINGS: Suspense, mild violence.  *MATURE*

Meet Me In Phoenix - Part 2 of Troika Apocalyptica - incomplete - Characters: Tom, Anja, Pop, Chris, Cara.   Chemical AU in which Tom & company survive a zombie apocalypse, are separated, and embark on a cross country quest to find each other again.  WARNINGS: language and some sexual references.  *MATURE*

Wolfsbane -  complete - 1826 words.  Tom/Anja Chemical AU side story.  Assassins in love.  Tom and Anja are agents assigned to bump each other off, if they can stop seducing each other long enough to pull the trigger. WARNINGS:  Language, sex, mild violence.

Tales From Quarantine - ongoing, limited series of oneshots - 6171 words currently, 2 chapters.  Short stories featuring several of my fic couples in lockdown during the covid-19 crisis: Tom and Anja from Chemical, Jack and Loki from Jack Montague, Molly and King from The McClary Chronicles, Adam/Eve/Selina from Sanguine, Jake and Tate from Hammer of The Gods, Tommy and Chloe from Sunflower, Greta and Chief from The Department.  WARNINGS:  explicit sex and language

Tom Hiddleston as Himself:

Body Double - complete - 143,489 words, 40 chapters.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, language, references to past sexual and physical abuse, brief reference to miscarriage, heavy Dom/sub undertones.  Main character - Tom Hiddleston (as himself).  Secondary character/love interest - Anna (OFC).  Side characters - Chris Hemsworth, Ian. Pairing: Tom/Anna.  Romance.  An actor and a body double working on his film embark on a romantic relationship after the movie wraps.  *VERY EXPLICIT*

Other TH Original Characters:

Burn -  complete (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Would You Like To Play A Game? -  complete  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Golden Boy - incomplete  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Awakening -  complete - RPF -  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Beautiful Disaster -  complete  (will fill in this summary ASAP) **this fic has been partly rewritten and published, the original version remains on AO3

Dandelion Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 - complete (will fill in summary ASAP)

Broken Petals - A Magnus Martinsson fic - incomplete

Yes Please, Magnus - Magnus Martinsson fic - complete

Weekly Meetings of The Most Useless Muses in The History of Fanfiction - incomplete - 23,802 words, 22 chapters.  Pretty much what it sounds like.  Characters - all of them.  WARNINGS: All of them.

Adam - Only Lovers Left Alive

Sanguine -  complete - 28,795 words, 16 chapters. Main character - Adam.  Secondary characters - Selina, Eve.  Romance/mystery.  WARNINGS:  Very explicit sex and violence, language, vampirism, blood, pregnancy, rape.  A redemption tale twisted up in an epic love story between a vampire and a mortal who break a few rules and make a few of their own in the process.  *EXPLICIT*

(Adam is also a prominent character in JACK MONTAGUE and THE GUCCI INCIDENT)

Thomas Oakley - Unrelated

Sleep -  complete - 1471 words.  WARNINGS: Sex and language.  Thomas Oakley is chosen for a college sleep studies program.  Too bad the only thing that puts him to sleep is an orgasm.  *MATURE*

Tom Hiddleston - Jaguar Promo

The Way of The Cat -  complete (summary will be filled in ASAP)

Andrew Hozier-Byrne

THE TALIESIN SERIES

Part 1 - Nobody -  complete - 3293 words.  Romance/fantasy.  WARNINGS: character death, raunchy language, implied sex, implied drug use.  A perpetually reincarnating Celtic deity (Andrew Hozier-Byrne) just won’t stop causing problems for the Pantheon, no matter how many times they reboot him and his lover.  Loosely based on the song.  *MATURE* 

Part 2 - Shrine Of Your Lies - WIP - 1011 words, 2/15 chapters, ongoing.  Romance/fantasy.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, some language, some implied violence.  Taliesin (Andrew Hozier-Byrne) and his lover have been reincarnated again, this time without any memory of who they are - or of each other.  Fate won’t let them wander for long though and their paths cross over two parallel lifetimes. *MATURE*  - this fic may not be updated on AO3 as I plan to change the background setting and include it in the upcoming WICKLOW HOUSE book of short stories

(Andrew Hozier-Byrne is also a prominent character in THE DEPARTMENT)

Can Yaman

Kiz Yan Kapi - The Girl Next Door - WIP - 5533 words, 3/10 chapters  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Chris Hemworth

Thor’s Beard -  complete - 3163 words (Part 2 of Forgotten Gods, side story to Hammer Of The Gods).  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, language.  Pete from HoTG hooks up with Jake’s older sister and a battery operated device.  *EXPLICIT*

See You After The Apocalypse - see above under The Chemical Prehistories

(CH is also a major character in Hammer Of The Gods and Chemical)

Allan Hawco/Frontier inspired

A Wife For Mister Brown -  complete  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Et Tu, Mister Brown? -  complete (will fill in this summary ASAP)

~~PUBLISHED BOOKS~~

All of the following are available at amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle formats:

Sgaile Leannan - Rewritten from AO3 version with changes/additions.  Sex, language, adult situations.  *EXPLICIT*

Samhach Mhiannan - Rewritten from AO3 version with some changes/additions.  Sex, language, adult situations.  *EXPLICIT*

Na Binne an Leann - Rewritten from AO3 version with minor changes/additions.  Sex, language, adult situations.  *EXPLICIT*

Chemical Volume One - Rewritten from AO3 with major changes/additions.  Sex, language, adult situations, references to past child abuse.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*

Chemical Volume Two - Rewritten from AO3 with major changes/additions (includes the final three chapters, ending, and epilogue that are not included in the AO3 version).  Sex, language, adult situations, references to past child abuse.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*

Chemical Volume Three - The Prehistories and Penumbraluna - a compilation of the Chem shorts and the novella (some are partially rewritten)  *EXPLICIT and VERY ADULT THEMES*

Here And There - Book One of The Strada Series - not associated with any AO3 fics.  Sex, language, violence.  Paranormal romance.  A man falls out of the sky - literally - and Holly’s quiet existence goes all kinds of sideways when his otherworldly nemesis follows and the two of them end up in her bed…and inextricably in her life.  The Strada have been here longer than mankind, but their existence has been closed off to the “There” - a dimensional prison realm that separates them from the humans by a split second of time.  When the protective barrier between the dimensions begins weakening, the most dangerous creatures ever created start coming across to wage war against their own kind, using the world of the humans as a battlefield.  Two angelic criminals - Keene and his soulmate Baltho - have been conscripted to regain control...but do either of them want to?  And perhaps more importantly, can they stop fighting with each other long enough to do their one job?   *EXPLICIT SEX, violence*

The Carmichael Addendum - not associated with any AO3 fics.  Sex, language, violence.  Paranormal/supernatural romance.  Clarissa is one of a final few peacekeepers left in a world where the monsters have quietly retreated into myth - but the local library has started spitting immortals and werewolves out through a rift in the Genealogy section, and it’s time for the last two slayers - Clarissa and her ex-husband Kaine - to come out of retirement.  But orchestrating peace with the enemy is a difficult undertaking when you can’t even work out a visitation schedule with the ex and your self-help divorce group is peopled with oddly sexy males of dubious origin.  A heated love triangle with monsters on the side and a middle-aged single mom heroine who’s more than a few years past her prime.  *EXPLICIT SEX, violence, language, adult themes*

Trickster Tales - a compilation of  seven Loki fics that originally appeared on AO3 (most were rewritten to varying degrees for publication).  Includes Mine, The Good Stuff, Civil Disobedience, Smooth Criminal, Lost Souls, No Regrets, and Sugar Skull.  *EXPLICIT SEX and adult themes*

Beautiful Disaster - a short romance in three acts - *adult themes*

*All of the above are available in both paperback and Kindle format

Complete officially published works on my author page at Amazon

#master fic list #lokilickedme #Hiddleston fic #Loki fic #Hemsworth #Hozier #Momoa #Gandy #AO3 works #original works #published works #here it all is

[heathneycanon]

okay so i ranked 113 total drama/ridonculous race ships based on how much i like them with explanations below the cut.. fair warning that i’m a lil mean to some of the ships lower on the list.

also i forgot to include dwayne senior and that one girl’s mom from rr because i literally forgot they existed until now, and i don’t want to manually add them in so i’ll just say that i think they’re cute but not super interesting.

EDIT: this has been updated post-roti-rewatch. i switched around the order of a couple ships, and added a new one. if i ever rewatch rr or pahkitew i’ll probably edit it again, but the likelihood of me rewatching either of those seasons any time soon is... ok i was about to say it was slim but it’s probably not

also i’m not ever adding in dwayne and the mom because i like it being a part f the description lmao. an afterthought. as it should be.

enjoy!

113. stephanie/ryan - i HATE the daters/haters. they’re like a weird, shitty mix of tda gidgette and duncney. like, they’re either annoyingly all over each other, or they’re toxic and fighting. tbh, they’re pretty toxic all the time. they stuck around for way too long imho.

112. jacques/josee - I CHANGED MY MIND IGNORE THIS

111. tom/jen - tom is canonically gay, and i hc jen as a lesbian. so i’m not a fan of this ship.

110. nemma - yeahh, knowing me, this is also a predictably low ranking. i hc noah as gay and emma as a lesbian, so again, i don’t vibe with this one.

109. coderra - i can only deal with this ship in rewrites. i’ve seen super well thought out rewrites of coderra and sierra’s character, but as it stands, i really don’t ship this at all.

108. davesky - dave is an incel lmao. anyway yea this ship initially seemed like bootleg zoke, which was kind of bootleg gwent, but then BOY did davesky get worse. i can’t stand dave and i can’t stand pairing him with sky, either.

107. leonard/sugar - why. i hate both of these characters. no thank u.

106. ella/dave - ok so u know i don’t like dave. i also hc ella as a lesbian, she hasn’t realized it and is dealing with comphet. i don’t like this ship.

105. topher/ella - i hc both of them as gay. they are friends tho.

104. macarthur/brody - in case you’re noticing a trend, i do in fact hc macarthur as a lesbian. i also don’t really care about her at all lmao. anyway, not a fan of this one. i really don’t understand why fresh thought this was a good idea.

103. noah/katie - again, i hc noah as gay, but this ship is more funny to me than anything else because these characters were shipped together so often early on, when they both a) barely had any characterization and b) had never interacted? anyway yea i don’t ship it.

102. cameron/sierra - this one’s weird? literally sierra had a crush on him or whatever because he reminded her of cody even though they’re… nothing alike? dude please get sierra some therapy oh my god

101. heather/justin - i knew someone who really, really shipped them once, which is why i’m including it. anyway i cannot see this ship at all, next.

100. amy/rodney - i guess this existed? i barely remember pahkitew, and i know rodney had a bunch of crushes, but this is the main one i remember so it’s the only one i can be bothered to include. anyway this relationship didn’t seem healthy at all.

99. max/scarlett - i don’t like max and i don’t really care about scarlett, but i also hc both of them as gay, so this is a no from me.

98. gwody - creepy and bad. i don’t trust people who ship this or davesky.

97. dashawn - shawn can do better. that one scene where they look at each other when dave has to kiss the person next to him is kinda funny tho.

96. topher/dave - marginally better than all other dave ships just because topher is there and i like topher. again tho, topher can do much better.

95. malejandro - why does this ship exist.

94. ezekiel/bridgette - not my thing at all. i don’t care about zeke too much, and i have a lot more ships with bridgette that i prefer over this one.

93. cody/beth - i only care about cody in certain contexts, and i practically never care about beth. i wouldn’t click off of a fic if this were a background pairing or whatever, but i definitely wouldn’t seek it out.

92. ezekiel/beth - again, don’t really care about beth or ezekiel that much. but in certain contexts, i can see why this would be cute.

91. courtney/jose - the only way this is cute is alongside aleheather, so that courtney and heather could marry into the same family. but also, why is this a ship that exists?

90. scourtney - i love both scott and courtney, but no thank u. they had absolutely no chemistry, and courtney was using scott both in the competition and as a rebound. not a fan.

89. gwen/cameron - is this a thing that exists? i found a screenshot of gwen kissing cameron on the cheek but is that edited? if it is real, i probably blocked it from my mind.

88. courtney/cameron - now i know this one exists in the weirdest, stupidest way the show could’ve gone about it. barely even qualifies as a ship, and it’s definitely not a good one.

87. duncan/zoey - i kind of see why others would like this one, but at the same time, it doesn’t really appeal to me.

86. alejandro/courtney - i love alejandro and i love courtney. but i can only see them as friends, tho i can see them like. kissing just because they’re bored. or to fuck with people. they did that in the show, right? kind of? i forget the specifics.

85. chris/blaineley - while i guess i can see why people ship this, chref is canon and blaineley is a lesbian.

84. katie and/or sadie/justin - why would katie or sadie date justin, when they’re in love?

83. gwuncan - maybe could’ve been good, but literally everything about how they got together and their relationship in canon has tainted my view of this ship. i definitely preferred them as friends in tda anyway. there’s a lotta cute gwuncan fanart out there so i do rb it sometimes tho. i see why people ship this, i get the potential, but for me it’s soured by world tour.

82. laurie/miles - who?

81. mary/ellody - yea ok they’re smart gfs, but also i literally don’t give a shit about either of them.

80. pete/gerry - they’re definitely dating but again i don’t care about them.

79. mike/cameron - not a horrible ship by any means, i just don’t really like cameron that much.

78. alejandro/justin - there are so many superior alejandro ships. and a handful of slightly better justin ships.

77. carrie/devin - wow they didn’t have a storyline that was original in any way! they’re pretty cute tho.

76. sanders/macarthur - would be higher but acab.

75. macarthur/josee - i really like the whole rivals to lovers thing, but again, acab. this is higher than sanders/macarthur because of the rivals to lovers, but mostly it’s because there’s only one bastard cop here rather than two.

74. owen/alejandro - i don’t really mind this one, but i see it as more of a one sided crush on owen’s side.

73. lightning/cameron - i don’t really care about cameron, but the jock/nerd dynamic is kinda good.

72. rockspud - they’re definitely a couple, but as the trend indicates, i really can’t bring myself to care too much about rr ships.

71. lindsay/beth - best beth ship, worst lindsay ship. i like one this better if lindsay is also dating tyler.

70. lindsay/lightning - a crackship i made up when i was eleven. i just think it’s really funny.

69. noco - not a bad ship, it’s just not my thing. i definitely see why other people ship it, i just ship both of them with other people.

68. ella/sugar - i see why people ship this as well, but i just really don’t like sugar. i can bring myself to see past that because this dynamic is genuinely good.

67. sierra/heather - i’ve seen this in au’s and rewrites of sierra’s character, and i see the potential. not bad.

66. bawn - they’re cute i guess? i just never really saw the appeal. they’re not bad by any means, it just seems kind of bland.

65. dakota/zoey - okay so i’m adding this one in as i’m reordering stuff because i rewatched roti. i didn’t have this here initially but their friendship was cute until zoey was all “she’s scary” and voted her off. just saying, if zoey wasn’t written as a hypocrite and was actually written as a COOL character that lived up to the potential of her concept, this would’ve slapped. also i love any combo of dawn, zoey, and dakota, because they’re cute. i’m not including poly ships on here because that’d make things wayy complicated, but i’d be here for a poly ship of these three.

64. scott/zoey - UPDATED. was originally “yea something about this rubs me the wrong way. i feel like if i rewatched roti i would remember what, but i’m not going to do that just for this list. maybe someday.” i ended up rewatching roti for unrelated reasons the next day, and honestly? this one is not that bad. could be cute, potentially.

63. dj/katie - i guess this one’s pretty cute? i don’t really remember them interacting, but i guess i can see why someone would like this.

62. dunhar - i see why people ship this one. i kind of like it? i feel like it would work really well in an au or a rewrite.

61. dott - UPDATED. was originally “i used to kind of like this ship, but now i really don’t. i do love the idea of dawn and scott as best friends who bully each other in the friendly kind of way, though.” but i rewatched roti and... this has potential. i kinda like it. still prefer the bullying friendship tho.

60. scott/mike - again, i see why people would ship it. i’m not sure if people actually do? but it seems like the sort of thing i might have shipped in middle school, so someone probably likes it. but meh, it’s not really my thing anymore.

59. topher/shawn - i don’t remember if these two interacted but i guess this could be cute? maybe?

58. sky/ella - yea it’s cute i guess? i don’t really have an opinion on this one beyond that.

57. dawn/dj - i mean… i get where this comes from. i fully understand. i personally see them becoming close friends, but i also see why people would ship them.

56. dawn/brick - again, i see them much more as friends, but i get why people would ship them.

55. geoff/gwen - this ship kinda interests me because it was originally going to be canon in camp tv, but because of that one gweoff friendship episode in island i see them as unlikely friends.

54. dj/bridgette - maybe you’re sensing a trend here, but i see them as friends. i could probably get on board with shipping them, though.

53. deather - i like them as friends more, but i do think a relationship between them could be fun.

52. ella/dawn - i feel like i’ve seen this ship? it’s not bad! i’m not the biggest fan of ella but this is pretty cute.

51. zoke - i really want to like them, and i wish they were written better. as is, i kind of ship them? there’s nothing wrong with zoke. but both as characters and as a ship, they could’ve been so much better.

50. noah/justin - this one’s interesting! i’ve never actively shipped it, but i can see it for sure. it’s cute!

49. owen/justin - again, not something i’ve actively shipped, but i like it!

48. carrie/kitty - i think they’re both in their late teens? like 18ish? appropriate ages for each other? if so, i like this one. they’d be cute

47. josee/jen - yea i like this. i feel like they would get along pretty well. they’re both successful in their own right. power couple for sure.

46. tom/jacques - again. power couple. i also think they’d go on double dates with jen and josee, which i like a lot. honestly both of these teams are the epitome of mlm/wlw solidarity. i like this one.

45. alecody - i like it! i don’t have much to say about them at all, but i like it.

44. brody/geoff - good ship! putting the romance in bromance. i like this one more when it’s combined with gidgette though.

43. anne maria/vito - originally i put “what is the appeal of this ship? genuinely asking.” as the description, and then an anon sent in this reply: “You wanted the appeal of anne maria and vito? Well here it is; they are both so dumb. Not a brain cell between the two of them. Imagine them trying to do anything domestic like. They could not assemble a bookshelf or make a pot of spaghetti without it turning into a horrible, but memorably fun, mess. They’re soft for eachother but would kick anyone’s ass for so much as looking at the other. Sorry im rambling lmao i just think they are so funny together”. i get the appeal now, so i’m moving this one up.

42. lindsay/courtney - lmao their dynamic is so funny. i don’t know how well a relationship between them would go, but i can see court realizing over time that lindsay is a lot smarter than she initially seems to be. idk courtney’s observant and lindsay is actually pretty smart. i can see it happening.

41. trent/justin - best justin ship, worst trent ship (that i can think of. i’m sure there are more trent ships but i can’t think of them lmao). i can see them getting along pretty well! i bet in universe a bunch of drama brothers fans ship them, because of course they do. i can see the potential here.

40. lindsay/heather - yea this one could be good. i’d like to see a post world tour version of this ship, or an island au where they get together. either way, i like the idea of this one.

39. lindsay/gwen - again, this ship is pretty good. gwen was kind of rude to lindsay at points, but i think after she stood up to heather, gwen gained some respect for her. idk i can see it happening.

38. lightning/scott - is this jock/farmer? jock/asshole? i’m not sure, but i really like it.

37. harzeke - tumblr user harzeke has opened my eyes. their posts are enlightening. the reason i kind of like ezekiel. harzeke is a good ship.

36. sadie/lindsay - remember in phobia factor when they were hyping each other up? yeah. they’d be cute together.

35. dundie - you know, i really didn’t expect them to make this one canon, but total drama dundie came outta nowhere. i wasn’t sure i was going to like them together, but fresh pulled together it’s first coherent plot in years and created a beautiful love story. very well done.

34. chref - chref is canon and u can’t tell me otherwise.

33. katie/sadie - after they got over their comphet, they realized they were in love and they end up having a really cute wedding.

32. ozzy - this ship is cute! they’re both bi and i hc they talk about cute people together because of course they do. also they would be so much fun to be around. i like them.

31. dj/geoff - djeoff? yea i like this. i think they’d both go out of their way to do sweet things for the other, but of course, they’re still geoff and dj. dj would probably bake a lot for geoff, but at least once, he’s gotten nervous and dropped it by accident. and geoff practices pick up lines and jokes before their dates but they’re like. the bad ones. dj loves them. anyway! this ship is good.

30. courtney/trent - i really, REALLY love them as friends, but i like them as a ship too! honestly i just love them getting along in any capacity. i think they’d be cute.

29. dawn/dakota - i made this up five minutes ago and i love it. i have no idea if people actually ship this but they should. just… think about it for a second. think about it and then try to tell me i’m wrong. u can’t.

28. alenoah - noah had a crush on alejandro during world tour, and u can quote me on this. i think they would be a power couple for sure. i like this one.

27. gidgette - season one gidgette is amazing. gidgette in the context of the killer bass five is amazing. season two and three gidgette is kind of meh to me, but not horrible i guess! i like geoff and bridgette and i think they’re cute together.

26. duncan/dj - i like the idea of this one. remember when duncan found dj a bunny? yea. they’d be cute.

25. jock - jock is good. rivals to allies to lovers. that’s the path i see this ship going down. i really like picturing them in any sort of au where they can kick ass together.

24. gwourtney - i used to like this one a lot more, but it’s still very good. i love the idea of them both mistakenly attributing their feelings for each other to duncan and accidentally ruining their friendship in the process. and by love i mean hate but also think is a good interpretation of the love triangle. i can see them together in an au, or after seriously reconciling in the future. or, honestly, in any universe where sundae muddy sundae doesn’t exist.

23. leshawna/gwen - did i hear u say best friends to lovers? no? well you’re getting them anyway. leshawna and gwen would be amazing i’m telling u. it’s a good ship.

22. tyler/alejandro - this is the third time i’ve said someone had a crush on alejandro during world tour, but. tyler had a crush on alejandro during world tour. i think they’d make a cute couple.

21. jashawn - this is a relationship built on respect and trust and i am here for that. they’re both a lil weird but neither of them mind, and they care about each other so much… i’m soft.

20. jasammy - i like this only marginally better than jashawn. honestly, i like all three dating the most. but anyway, jasmine was the first person who saw sammy as more than an extension of her sister… she stuck up for her. she was sammy’s first real friend. can i just reiterate… i’m soft.

19. evzy - they would light your house on fire together just cuz they were in the mood. eva bench presses izzy every morning. do not try to challenge them to any sort of competition, they will win by any means possible. eva picks izzy up at every opportunity. whenever they cook anything, they burn it. is this by accident or on purpose? i’m not sure. izzy likes lighting stuff on fire and eva likes eating burnt food for some reason, so it doesn’t really matter. i love their dynamic so much.

18. jomaria - if u were talking shit about either one of them, they would both get together and beat u up. they’re both legends and i love them.

17. gweather - total trauma comic has truly opened my eyes… i really like them in a future setting where they’re both more mature and can understand how they were both in the wrong at times during total drama, and ended up hurting people and were hurt themselves, and work through that together. so basically… in the setting of the total trauma comic.

16. heather/leshawna - rivals to lovers…. au where leshawna and heather get together during tda… i’m telling u it’s a good ship.

15. nowen - imho, this is both the best noah ship and the best owen ship. they complement each other so well. world tour nowen is just. the peak of their dynamic. i think enough has been said about nowen that you can understand why i would like it, so i’m just gonna move on.

14. trody - this one came outta NOWHERE a while back, i’m telling u. but i love it?? i liked their friendship in island, and i just. i love the idea of cody having a crush on both gwen and trent during island, misunderstanding that and thinking he just has a crush on gwen, and realizing after island at some point that he also liked trent. and then trent developing a crush on cody after the breakup with gwen and just… dijfalsfjla honestly i like them in so many contexts. thank u tumblr user gothcody for bringing the trody hype. anyway they’re a good ship!

13. bridgecourt - my favorite bridgette ship! idk i loved bridgette and courtney’s friendship in island, and i can see them having a best friends to lovers type of deal. i just think they’d be cute together, and their relationship would be really healthy and balanced.

12. gwoey - u can try and tell me there wasn’t a little something between these two in all stars, but u would be wrong. their designs compliment each other really well, they’re cute together… i’m a fan.

11. lesharold - SO valid. harold drinks his respect women juice every morning, except for that one time he rigged the votes in island to vote out courtney because he was mad at duncan smh. anyway this is a relationship built on RESPECT and CARE. they’re very cute together, and i love them.

10. dawn/zoey - the superior doey. listen the only reason these two weren’t friends is because fresh decided that zoey was going to think dawn was “weird”? but what if zoey just said that because she didn’t know how to deal with the fact that she found zoey cute… zoey is the epitome of that “i had a crush on a girl and i didn’t know how to deal with it so i sent her a letter that said ‘get out of my school’” tweet. n e way they would be such a good couple.

9. samkota - dafjlsflkaakf i think about samkota and i freak out i’m telling u. like is there anything. ANYTHING. better than a guy loving and respecting his girlfriend unconditionally? and mutual love and respect? … well i mean there are several more entries on this list, so okay, maybe a couple of things, but this shit is galaxy brain right here.

8. aleduncan - ok so apparently something i like slightly more than partners who are soft and even softer for each other is total assholes who care about each other. like alejandro is a gentleman… but he’s a manipulative jerk too. and duncan’s a fucking asshole and i love him for it. anyway when they teamed up in world tour, especially in that episode where they hunted ezekiel (??? what is total drama??) i really liked their dynamic.

7. lyler - ok back to love and respect. tyler and lindsay are so good!! tyler got so excited when lindsay remembered who he was right? and lindsay never stopped asking ppl if they were tyler ok. like she knew she cared about tyler enough to want to be with him even when she didn’t know who he was?? i feel like we don’t talk about the implications of this enough. honestly… i feel like people overlook how much the period in between tyler’s elimination and slap slap evolution must have sucked for both of them? like it was played for laughs but… that shit’s sad :( ok i’m done being sad they’re cute and they love each other and i love them.

6. gwent - yea u got me i still care about them. tdi gwent was really sweet! there was a lil pining. a lil outside meddling. and a lot of cute. and GOD during the finale when trent ran alongside gwen with that boulder? he cared about her so much!! of course action ruined it with the shitty portrayal of ocd and a healthy portion of not fucking communicating with your partner, but before that it was good.

5. truncan - you got me, i like the idea of trent serenading duncan with his guitar and duncan liking it a lot more than he anticipated. i think they’d have a dynamic that’s a little more turbulent than most other trent ships, but less so than most other duncan ships. they’d be a lot more balanced i think. i’m a fan of that.

4. scuncan - okay so u remember how i said i like to ship two fucking assholes together? scuncan is peak asshole/asshole rights. all stars totally missed their chance to have these two team up by dumbing scott down, whatever they did with duncan, and of course, introducing scourtney, i’m just saying. scott was actually playing the game pretty well in roti, and duncan was a veteran of the series. the two of them could’ve dominated the game. those fuckin assholes.

3. aleheather - okay now this ship was like, the only central ship that started out good and ended good in this entire series, except maybe jashawn but they don’t count because they were literally only in 13 episodes. anyway they did rivals to lovers right here. also, they simultaneously gave heather a great character arc and wrote alejandro super well. so the characters as individuals were great at the time they got together, and the couple was great together, so what i’m trying to say is… aleheather was and still is amazing.

2. duncney - in case u couldn’t tell from how high gwent is on this list, i am a fan of the tdi ships. another thing you might be able to tell from this list- duncan and courtney are two of my favorite characters in the series. so of course duncney gets a high placement on this list. not only that, but they go from disliking each other to really liking each other, which is something else that i really like. tdi duncney is opposites attract in the best way, where they compliment each other each other instead of clash. beyond that… ugh. eughhh. i don’t even want to think about that. but duncney in tdi alone earns itself number two on the list.

1. heathney - yes i love girls. yes this ship is pretty fucking basic. and no, there are no heathney fics on ao3. i will be attempting to remedy that. anyway, i could see them pulling a rivals to friends to lovers as well, which is one of my absolute favorite tropes. i think they’d be a total power couple. and to top it off, i love them both. a lot. so much. thank u for ur time.

#total drama #i also did this for all of the characters so lmk if anyone would like to see that #confessional