#At one point in october i accidentally skipped 10 days | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

milatherese · 5 months

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Update (TW: suicide - call 988)

I'm back (and not really better than ever, in some ways).

Since mom got sick, I have been mostly emotionally numb. Because my family was sick, I ended up spending at least a month alone with the medical decision-making and managing legal documents all while balancing my job. I pushed my emotions aside to "get things done." And "get things done" I did.

I remember reading somewhere that it takes at least 21 days to form a habit…and I spent more than 21 days straight of blocking out my emotions.

I won't burden you with the details (plus, you can read the details on your own), but the gist of my emotional well-being since my mom passed has been non-existent.

At the end of the reception of mom's funeral, a friend told me "Let me know if you need anything." I don't' know what pushed me to tell him this, but I said "If you know of any places that offer a silent retreat, let me know. I think that's what I need." I was very much aware I had been numbing myself to take care of responsibilities. I was also very aware that I did not know how to address my emotions. I guess I figured that a silent retreat of some kind would help.

Within a week or two, a retreat was scheduled. (I found out he had enlisted the help of many friends to financially support me on this retreat – thank you, all.) Although it was only about 5 days, it was a very fruitful retreat. God was with me in every moment. And I'm pretty sure I saw mom watching over me as I slept. But I'll save the retreat details for another time.

I processed a lot of emotions (some of them seemingly conflicting – which I learned is acceptable and valid) but I knew it was not the end but rather just the beginning of tapping into my emotions.

Unfortunately, the legal (work) grieving period in the US is only a few days, so after my retreat, life continued as normal [as it could be]. I still went to work and I ended up accepting another job as a music teacher at the school. My summer was spent planning for the school year as well as visiting my mom's side of the family (primarily for historical documentation reasons, before the rest of them pass away or lose their memories) and meeting my now-LDR's boyfriend's family (!!).

Soon after my "vacations" ended, teacher training began. And as soon as teacher training ended, school began as well. And as soon as school began, there began an uptick in special Masses. And as soon as all these things kept piling up once again (and very quickly, I might add), I went to my "default" of dealing with stress: numbing.

I had gotten so good at numbing my emotions that I could no longer quantify how close I was getting to my tipping point. (70% = I need to seek professional help)

[skip the next 3 italicized paragraphs if you ignored the TW]

My boyfriend visited me in October for about 10 days and I ended up spontaneously attempting to commit suicide twice. Obviously, I failed, but the fact remains – I attempted. I had never done anything of the sort. The furthest I had gone was having suicidal thoughts, and those were mostly fleeting moments.

I tried retracing my thoughts for the first attempt to see what suddenly led me to go from what felt like zero to one hundred…During a 3-hour drive home, I had received a call from work about certain things missing – because I accidentally had them with me. It wasn't a big deal, but to me, it was because others would be affected by it. It was then that I had my "first" thought: "I will get fired at my dream job because I failed." I called my dad who was at home to see if he could bring it to work on my behalf, but his tone sounded angry (or sad – he has the same tone for when he is angry or sad, but I decided that he was probably angry at me). And then I had my "second" thought: "I failed my father." Nevertheless, I continued driving home. "Being 3 hours away wouldn't help me," I thought. Part of the way back home, we (my boyfriend and I) stopped by at a mutual friend's birthday party. Since I was so exhausted from the day, I didn't feel like socializing and was going to the party (more like a gathering, tbh) to accompany my boyfriend. I didn't last long socially because it turned out my social battery was actually at -10. In my negativity, I stormed off and waited for my boyfriend to join me so I could head home. I knew I had disappointed him then, but I didn't have the time to think about it. I turned onto an intersection and then proceeded to hear the blaring honk of an angry driver who I had apparently cut off (although I'm certain he was speeding because he was not there when I looked while turning). And then I immediately thought, "Wow, I disappointed my job, my family, my boyfriend, and now the general public. Might as well just end it all now." I saw a big rig and I slammed on the gas in the hopes of ending everything right then and there. But then a little voice told me "No, don't. Think of the collateral damage." Thankfully, the old car I was driving only accelerated by 5 MPH from me slamming on the gas. So, I pulled into a somewhat empty parking lot and parked, crying big silent tears. My boyfriend didn't say anything, but simply pulled me into one of his big hugs and let me cry into his shirt, snot and all. He knew what had just happened. Later that evening, he told me "Don't worry, I signed up for this."

So that was the first attempt. I came to the conclusion that I had simply spiraled from driving in silence for 3 hours straight as a melancholic. I thought that was my first and last attempt, but I was wrong. During the next five days, I made a plan to do better spiritually, including having gone to confession by the 5th day in the morning (because my busy schedule would not allow me to go to confession any other time unless I scheduled an appointment, which I did not want to do). At work, I received a lot of rejection ("No, we can't do this" or "We don't have the resources for it so we can't do it"). I didn't think it was really bothering me, until day five when I attempted to go to confession. I went to a church I had not been to in years, walked in to the church 5 minutes before the scheduled confession time, and bumped into the priest walking out. So, I asked him "Is there confession today?" He was a young priest. Instead of answering me with a simple yes or no, he went full-on rage mode (as in an ALL CAPS situation, but I won't do that here for the sake of readability). "No, it was announced several times at Mass that there is absolutely no confession today due to the funeral!" I was not at Mass and didn't even see a hearse, so I told him that I wasn't at Mass. Then he yelled, "If you just walked into the church, you see signs all over the confessional doors that say there's no confession today!" Sensing his unjust irritability, I told him (as kindly as I could) "Sorry, I haven't been here. But thank you!" (Frankly, if I was a lapsed Catholic and met him, I would have never returned back to the Church. He certainly would have driven me away. I would have cut him some slack if he was much older, but he was in his early thirties and definitely not Benjamin Button. Please pray for him and priests like him who are causing division in the flock.) I walked back to my car (not my actual car, again) and, feeling all the feelings of rejection overflowing within me, slammed on the gas and headed straight for a brick wall. And then I stopped, remembering the advice from the little voice only 5 days ago. I parked and cried big silent tears again. This time, I was alone. I immediately texted a friend about these two attempts and she recommended I call 988 if I ever detect these thoughts again. However, the problem was that I no idea I was going to have these thoughts. The moment of clarity came after the attempt, not before it. (I also just realized I failed to mention I had my first panic attack over the summer, and took it as my warning that things were not okay with me emotionally and that I needed help.)

After I had time to gather my thoughts (including recalling my thought pattern) and calm my emotions, I called my boyfriend and told him everything that had just happened. I drove straight to him (he was staying near the church where I attempted to attend confession) and he prepared breakfast for me. And he reminded me that he signed up for this.

I realized that my issue was not that I had gone zero to one hundred, but rather that I was unknowingly already at ninety-five. I had numbed myself to the point of not knowing that I was already at ninety-five.

About three weeks ago, I spoke to my boss-boss about those two incidents. We scheduled a regular full day off for myself each week and lessened a few of my responsibilities. I also set up a meeting with a potential spiritual director (who I met with yesterday, but again, another longer post for another time). I reached out to my seminarian friends for help in finding a Catholic therapist and, for the first time in FOREVER, I got a call back from one of their contacts. So that will also be scheduled soon.

I also purchased a self-love card deck. In my spiritual direction, I was told that I need to allow myself to be loved because God loves me and wants to love me because that's all He loves doing – loving me. I'm hoping this card deck will help me love myself and allow myself to be loved. So, I'll work on one question card each day. And I might post about it, in case it helps you, too.

#milamusings #grief

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apersonwholikeslotus · 6 months

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A v unprofessional rating of every* book on my shelf bc i'm bored

*every book i've read bc I still haven't gotten to some of them, also skipping the Rick Riordan books bc i'm sure y'all have heard plenty about them, and also not any of the history/government/theology books.

A Spartans Sorrow by Hannah Lynn - 3/5, it was a book, I loved it but the end just completely lost my attention. Like yeah ik that's how the greek myth goes but tbh should've stopped 3 chapters ago.

Circe by Madeline Miller - 5/5 ik y'all keep talking about song of achilles but holy shit Circe

Lore by Alexandra Bracken - 0/5 I legit got 2 chapters in and gave up. I'm so sorry. cannot believe i spent $13 on this thing.

Loki; Where Mischief Lies by Mackenzi Lee - 4/5, I read this once when I was 13 and enjoyed it a lot but i'm not sure if I would now. sticking Loki in Victorian England was honestly a 10/10 choice aesthetic wise.

Children of Ragnorok by Cinda Williams Chima - 5/5 a lot of ppl didn't like it apparently I think it's absolutely amazing and love it and you all should read it but that could be the hyperfixtation talking

The Goddess of Nothing At All by Cat Rector - 10000000000/5 ac hbdcksjlzmpx[ac ovcjnmxjklo nvsoiu jkoxicn hdikxcv hubisjkvixd9jcg hujkcu cvbmdskjxcjv gchxskc vcxdc nc gh ybgf7duhibjfdijdg yvwebdjvgy f7fhfjbknionbh fbdjff hfdfubhxukcjhukzixc bhnnxjk. READ IT RIGHT NOW I SWEAR GO READ NOW

The Librarian of Auschwitz by Antonio Iturbe - 4.5/5 Good book, very heavy and bc of that took me a bit to get through.

The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah - 6/5 I spilt tea on this book twice and both times kept reading before it had even dried all the way

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr - 4.5/5 I see his other book All The Light We Cannot See talked about a lot more but legit this one is so much better. People from the far past to the distant future and they're all learning about the same thing?? amazing idea???

I Must Betray You by Ruta Sepetys - 5/5 I read Between Shades of Gray and Salt to the Sea and preordered this one immediately afterwords. I was saving it to be a 'summer book' but read it in like 2 days the moment in came in instead.

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck - the school book we had to read that I liked enough I bought a copy. Sucker for "here's a guy living his regular life." books.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - 5/5 i swear to everything if you do not like crying over books do not read this. I don't cry over books and I cried so hard over this one my sister asked me if I was okay the next morning bc I woke her up accidentally.

The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams - 5/5 I think about this book regularly, still a sucker for 'here's a person living their life' book.

American Royals by Kathrine McGee - 3/5 too much romance, not enough politics from a made up world that doesn't effect me.

Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston - 4/5 we love politics from a world that doesn't effect me, lost a point on the ending but i'm bad at those too so such is life ig.

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins - 3.5/5 it was a lovely read for a day i had nothing else to do on. don't think I would read it again tho.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid - 5/5 LOVE goodness I was not expecting who the love of her life would be, not to mention I adore anything with platonic soulmates.

They Both Die At The End by Adam Silvera - 4/5 i uh, i convinced myself they weren't gonna die at the end.

Dear Evan Hansen by Val Emmich - 4/5 the book??? is so much sadder than the musical oh my gosh????? was mad to find they cut out half the important stuff about Conner in the musical.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E Schwab - 3/5 one of those times i listened to booktok, was very disapointed.

The October List by Jeffery Deaver - 5/5 a hughdscalc gchkcjs;ln jcxsumj km ITS WRITTEN BACKWARDS AND THE SUSPENSE IS INSANE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING AND NOTHING AT ALL

One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus - 3/5 Decent, but not good enough that after I set it down I picked it back up. I had like 20 pages until the end, still don't know who the killer was.

The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B White - 10/5 back when I was a small child and didn't have money or transportation the library and had a limited of selection of books this is what I read. I have it memorized and also somehow thought the title was 'the trumpeter swan' until literally yesterday.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas - 5/5 someone take away this french mans pen.

#apersonwhotalks

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soyeahitsmiddleearth · 3 years

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Multi-Dimensional Pt. 5

In which you have a genius idea to take these suckers out, you accidentally do something you’re not supposed to, and you take the taller bit of your friends out.

----

And then, you realize, that it's getting deeper into October.

As it got deeper into October, the dwarves and hobbit remain in your house. It's been a total of 2 1/2 weeks, now, and you can tell they're getting antsy from staying in one place for so long.

Like, around halloween time.

An idea strikes you in the head like a bag of bricks, and right away you realize that you're a genius.

You're sitting on the couch with Bilbo, Oin, and Bofur when the lightbulb goes off in your head suddenly, and once it does you hop to your feet and run upstairs at top speed, successfully baffling everyone idly watching the nature documentary you put on.

You pass Dwalin and Balin while you zoom to your bedroom, and when they see you run past them like freaking Speedy Gonzales they're both super confused.

Right away you grab your laptop off your bed and pull up a window.

The keys of your compute clack softly while you type in your town as well as 'Halloween Festival' and the first few results as well as images on the Google engine prove your theory.

Every year here people dress up in advance and celebrate throughout the duration of the week leading up to it. Of course, the trick-or-treating only happens on the day of, but there are a plethora of other things for people to do during that week.

People dress up, children go on field trips, there's a festival, and even the grocery stores have little events they put on to promote their business.

You've never really gone before since crowded places aren't the most comfortable for you, but you actually feel a little giddy about taking them all to see the town with you.

Right away you know you're going to have to buy them all costumes, but for the last week you've been pet sitting this rich couples Rag-doll cat, Princess, and your going rate is $18/hr for a week... Do the math ;).

You're going to get paid later in the day today after you drop her back off at their house, and that's not even accounting for the other animals you've been watching for varying amounts as well.

So, essentially, you're gonna be perfectly fine financially.

Anyways, as soon as you're done doing your little bit of research there on your computer you close it and leave your room again, hopping down the stairs with a big bright smile on your face.

When you reenter the living room, everyone is gathered there and looking at you expectantly.

At first, you don't do or say anything since you're super confused, but when the silence begins to drag on for too long you ask hesitantly, "Uh... Is everything alright? What's going on?"

"Well, you left to your room very quickly." Bilbo comments, standing up from his spot on the couch, "But from the smile on your face, I'm assuming it wasn't because of anything bad?"

You nod your head and sigh, leaning down to pet Mittens who is rubbing herself against your legs, "Yeah, everything's fine. It's great, actually." You pause for dramatic effect, then add, "I just figured out a way to take all of you out! Like, to see the town and stuff!"

"You have?" Thorin asks, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Mmhm!" You stand up straight and nod your head quickly, bouncing on the balls of your feet, "See, I figured I'd probably be able to take you and maybe Kili, Bofur, and Dwalin out at some point... like, if some of you were to groom yourselves different or wear hats...," once more you stop your speech and realize that may be offensive, "N-Not that I think there's anything wrong with how you look-"

"Nobody is offended, I'm sure. Go on." Thorin urges, amusement present on their faces from your sudden frantic backtracking so you don't offend them.

"R-Right, uh... anyways, you guys are taller so I knew I could probably bring you along sometime, but I wasn't sure how to get everyone else to come along, and then I realized that this next week is the week leading up to halloween!" You say it like it will answer all their questions, forgetting that they probably don't know what halloween is.

Silence passes by for a few seconds as they wait for you to go on, and when you don't Kili asks, "What's 'halloween'?"

"Oh, yeah, it's like, a holiday where children dress up and go to peoples houses to get candy. And when I say dress up, I mean in costumes." You rub the back of your neck while you explain and add, "In my city, the place we are now, we celebrate throughout the whole week. There are games, festivals, and lots of events... and there are people running around in masks all of the time. So I can get some of you costumes and then I can bring you all along!" Your smile returns as you pick apart the details, and it seems your excitement is contagious.

"Wait, so we will get to walk around the town and see other things?" Nori questions, looking over at his brothers with a smile.

"Yeah, but I gotta get you costumes first. Like, ghosts and some masks of different things. But if we wanna make the most of our time then I should probably go now."

You turn after that and go to the counter to grab your purse, pausing when Balin asks, "So it's a holiday where people run around in disguises, getting candy, and playing games as a community?"

Once again you nod your head, turning around to look at him with the same bright smile on your face.

"So, anyone can be anyone?" The older dwarf asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah, pretty much." You look down and go through your purse, making sure everything you need is in there before walking over to put on your tennis shoes.

"Even the man who was here the week before?"

Now that certainly gives you a pause.

Before you were never worried about it, but now with what's happened with him, you aren't so sure that it's so safe anymore.

"Um... yeah, I guess." You'd rather not think about it, so you start to tie your laces up. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Well, you already said that you can bring some of us, so why not do that now? Just to make sure?" Balin asks, though it's more of a 'you should really do it cause we're gonna freak out if you don't'.

You don't respond and instead finish tying your shoes first, thinking over his request.

When you're done doing up your shoes you turn and see that they're all looking at you with similar expressions of worry, and it makes you sigh, "Okay, fine. But whoever goes can't wear their normal clothes cause people will be weirded out. The halloween thing doesn't start for another day."

There's a moment of silence while some of them exchange looks before Thorin speaks, "You mentioned Kili and myself first. Surely that should be fine."

"Um..." You look between the two and tilt your head to the side thoughtfully, arms crossed over your chest. "Sure. But your hair is definitely going to stick out, Thorin."

He nods his head in understanding.

"And what about me?" Kili asks eagerly. It seems he's really excited about finally being able to leave your property.

"You're fine, I think. Am I taking both of you?" You inquire with furrowed eyebrows, walking a few steps forward.

"You might as well." Kili says with a big silly smile.

Well, you can't argue with that logic.

You shrug your shoulders and head up the stairs again, "Alright, go get changed into some of the clothes I gave you."

---

Once they're dressed in t-shirts and sweatpants (you didn't know their sizes so you got whatever would fit at the time) you observe them both with narrowed eyes while rubbing your chin.

"Hm... On a scale of 1 to 10, I give Kili a 9 and Thorin a 6." You say after a moment, turning to look at everyone else and get their opinions.

"What is the scale referring to?" Fili pipes up suddenly, looking up at you.

"How convincing they are."

"Why do I get a 6?" Thorin grumbles, looking at you pointedly.

"Your hair." You reply simply, walking over with a hair tie stretched between your fingers, "Hold still."

You gather his hair over his shoulders and pull it back, putting his hair through it and wrapping it around until it's nice and tight.

As soon as you're finished, you step around him and look to see if it's made a difference, and when you've determined that it's good, you smile, "Okay, now it's at least an 8." You turn towards Kili and ask, "Your hair is fine, right? Or do you want me to put it up?"

He doesn't say anything and neither does anyone else, and when the silence persists you raise an eyebrow, "Hello? Earth to Kili, I just asked you a question."

"Uh, no, you don't have to, thank you." He shakes his head and seems to come to some sort of realization since he starts to smile at his uncle in that big teasing grin you've, unfortunately, become accustomed to.

You nod your head and skip back over to the counter, swiping your keys off of it before heading to the front door.

"Come out whenever, I'm gonna get my car started."

Once you're out of the house some of the dwarves begin to laugh, and Kili pokes fun at his uncle, "Thorin, you have quite a red face, are you sure you can go?"

Thorin glares at his nephew and replies coldly, "She meant nothing by it."

"Right, but is that disappointment I hear?"

The glare he throws his nephew is so withering it could suck the life right out of a flower, but Kili is no flower, so he only laughs more.

"She offered to do yours too, you know." Fili adds when he begins to feel bad for his uncle.

Kili pauses his laughter and glares at his brother, "But she didn't do it."

"She would've."

"Oh hush, you're just upset that she didn't ask to do your hair." Kili shoots back, glaring at his brother.

"I am not, because unlike everyone else, I knew she meant naught by asking." He shoots back with a smirk.

Kili huffs indignantly and glares at his brother, saying no more as he heads out the door after you.

Thorin turns to everyone before following and states, "Try not to destroy anything while we are gone." His voice is firm and he waits until he gets nods from them all before leaving after you.

---

Once you're all in the car you put it into drive and go, turning up the radio so the car won't be completely filled with silence while you drive.

Occasionally, you'll glance at Thorin in the passenger seat or Kili in the back, and each time you do they're looking out the window at the passing scenery with awe.

"If you're impressed now, wait until we get into the big city." You comment suddenly, smiling to yourself while you watch the road ahead.

And when you do arrive in the city, they are impressed indeed.

The gasp that leaves Kili when you drive through the first big street draws a giggle from you, and when he presses his face against the window as you pull into the parking lot of the seasonal halloween store, your smile grows even bigger.

Even Thorin is impressed by all the wonderful things around, and when you turn off the car after parking you turn to look at them, "Thoughts so far?"

"It's wonderful." Kili breathes, looking at the bright, moving signs and huge stores all around.

"Yes, I don't believe I've ever seen anything so grand before." Thorin agrees, looking over at you with a smile of his own.

"Well if this impresses you, wait until we get inside the store. Try not to get scared."

---

The three of you eventually make it inside, and when you do they are in awe once more.

The seasonal store is dark with black painted walls and bright white florescent lights, and there are various halloween and horror things everywhere.

When you walk in there is one of those electronic jump-scare things, and while you were expecting it, the poor dears behind you weren't.

The witch thing pops out and cackles loudly, saying one of her many phrases, and as soon as she does both Kili and Thorin freak out. And when I say freak out, I mean 'pulled out some small weapons they decided to bring and screaming' freak out.

Luckily there is no one around at the moment, so you step between them and the witch and laugh nervously, "Put those away please. We're gonna get kicked out if anyone sees you with those."

They look between you and the electronic woman a few times before slowly putting their knives away and relaxing their stances.

"Thank you..."

"What is that?" Kili asks, glaring at the ugly jump-scare machine while you walk past it.

"It's a halloween decoration designed to scare people. And it seems like it worked too." You reply easily, looking back at them with a more mischievous smile.

Kili looks around slightly nervously and grumbles defensively, "I wasn't that scared... Uncles screams are what startled me."

"My screams? Kili, let's not lie now, clearly you were horrified." Thorin says disapprovingly, shaking his head.

"Aw, you guys are cute." You purr jokingly, waltzing up to the kids costumes isle.

They stop arguing after that.

You browse through the messy shelves quietly for a little while, trying to find the best ones, when you see a doggie in the cutest ghost costume.

A squeal leaves your lips when you see the cutie pie and you cup your cheeks as an adoring expression comes onto your face.

Without hesitation you hop over to the owner and ask excitedly, "Where did you get that?"

The man with the dog looked up quickly upon hearing your excited yelp and when he saw your exuberant form he smiled too, "I bought it a week ago here. They're near the back."

His answer fills you with joy, and you continue to stare at his pupper for a moment before he says, "You can pet her if you want, she doesn't bite."

He doesn't need to tell you twice.

You kneel down right away and scratch behind her ears, and her tail begins to wag wildly at the attention.

It seems that she likes you just as much, because she takes a seat and leans into you when you scratch her all over like you do with your dogs. It's at that moment when you begin to wonder if she'll fit in your purse.

Before you can finish your calculations and plans on stealing this mans dog you hear someone clear their throat and you realize then that you forgot all about Thorin and Kili.

You turn your head and see the two of them standing there with amused expressions on their faces.

Upon realization that they're watching you, and have been for a little while now, you jump to your feet and feel your face heat up. "I-If you make fun of me I'll leave both of you here." You threaten very unconvincingly, crossing your arms over your chest.

Kili starts to laugh but he doesn't say anything about it, looking at his uncle who also releases a few chuckles of his own.

You glance back at the man and see that he's looking at them, and you realize he probably thinks Kili's short stature is a little odd.

"U-Uh, thanks for letting me pet your dog!" You say quickly, heading back over to the two of them with a blush on your cheeks.

You turn back to the shelves of costumes and the man and his dog walk away, and once their gone you glare at the two of them half heartedly. "You guys are total meanies." There is faux bitterness in your voice when you speak as well, and it only brings more laughter from them.

"I only find it cute." Kili states, smiling good naturedly before continuing, "Every time you see an animal you get very excited."

"Cause I love animals."

"Yes, we can tell." Thorin muses, stepping up next to you to look at the spiderman mask in your hand.

You tap your foot against the ground a few times before putting the mask back.

A ghost costume for Bilbo; check.

That is all.

You literally don't have anything for anyone else, and honestly you're beginning to think that it's impo-

And then another idea hits you.

Class of middle/high-schoolers in a fantasy club. It's farfetched and barely believable, but most people won't say anything about it out of fear of being offensive, so it's perfect!

You don't have to buy them costumes at all (minus Bilbo), all you need is stuff to make them look less like dwarves and more like children pretending to be dwarves.

It sounds easier than it actually is, but you think you can pull it off. All you need is some netting, makeup, wigs, and nose and scar wav and you'll be set.

Once you get this idea you run away from the kids section with the ghost section and head toward the halloween makeup isle, seeking out the items mentioned previously without hesitation.

You find what you're looking for in minutes, and once you've got everything you zoom to the checkout since you're going to need to look up some tips on how to pull this off.

You're so excited you nearly forget to make sure Kili and Thorin are still with you, but once you see them you smile in relief and pay for everything.

Once you're all back in your car, Thorin asks, "I thought we were going to get masks?"

"Well, we were. But then I had an amazing idea consisting of pretending you're all students or something who invested in really expensive dwarf costumes. It's perfect, 'cause no one will ask and we'll get lots of compliments."

Thorin nods his head slowly and puts his belt on like you showed him, but before you go you turn and look at Kili expectantly.

The young dwarf doesn't say anything at first, but when your staring consists he asks slowly, "What...?"

"Put on your seatbelt."

There's more silence until he puts it on, raising an expectant eyebrow at you, "Is that better?"

"Much."

#the company x reader #the company of thorin oakenshield #reader insert #the hobbit #the hobbit fanfiction #kili x reader #thorin x reader #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #kili #fili

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shra-vasti · 4 years

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Flower

Pairing : Yoon Jeonghan x reader

Type : ex-lovers to soulmate au, idol au

Genre : primarily angst, fluff

Warnings : cursing here and there and a makeout scene at the start

Soulmate au type : In which your soulmate's initial are craved into your wrist when you turn 20 and when you touch each other their initial turns into their full name.

Synopsis : You and Jeonghan dated before getting your soulmark but it ended in a rather most heartbreaking way for you but fate bought you two together and now it's upon Jeonghan to fix what he messed up.

Note : Italics = flashback/past

Word count : 6k

"Yah, Yoon Jeonghan take me home."

He look up from where he was seated with his drink in his hands as he took in your form. You were barely walking straight, your body far from being balanced.

"What did you say?"

Shock was clearly evident in his voice that you even thought of walking in his direction yet alone ask him to take you home. He heard Mingyu and Jun snicker beside him laughing at his confused and shocked state. Their Hyung was never this perplexed in front of anyone.

"You heard me." you let out a whine already regretting your decision to even ask him to drop you home.

"My friends are way too drunk and Joshua told me that you are aren't drinking tonight plus your apartment is near mine."

He put his drink on the counter as he made his way towards you.

"You're going to regret this once you sober up." he muttered more to himself as he took a hold of your hand and guided you out of the party with all of his and your friends cheering up and leaving teasing remarks.

He took you to your apartment as you fumbled with your purse to take out the card to swap across the monitor but it seemed like you weren't even in the condition to do that so Jeonghan took it upon himself to tuck you in bed and then leave.

"Yoon Jeonghan." you called out when he settled you on your couch, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he helped you take out your heels.

He look up at you when he heard you calling his name to see your face really close to his.

"Why are you frowning?" you asked as you gently swiped your thumb across his eyebrows to make him relax, a habit of yours whenever you found him frowning over something.

"I should go."

He was sure that you were mad drunk and if he will stay in your apartment unit longer, one of you will regret it in the end.

You held his hands as you saw him get up from where he was standing and stood up before him, your gaze still hazy.

Your hands craddled his face as you cup his jaw slowly closing the distance between the two of you. His hands found their way around your body and rested on your hips but as soon as he felt your breath on his face and the scent of wine hit his nose he came back to reality, no he can't take advantage of you when you were drunk.

You once again let out a whine, stomping your feet on the floor clearly frustrated.

"I don't want you to do anything with me, which I know you will regret, when you are drunk. I'm not drunk so I won't let that happen."

His voice was stern but it felt like instead of scolding you he was actually trying to warn himself about it.

"Lets have a drink then, why are you the only one not getting drunk." you said as you blackmailed him to stay put and went inside the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine.

A loud noise was heard as soon as you went inside the kitchen and Jeonghan didn't think twice before running towards you to see that you accidentally made the steel utensils fell onto the floor.

He sighed as he picked them up and moved towards where you were in front of your refrigerator. He crossed his arms across his chest eyeing you and silently asking you on how on earth you have so many bottles of wine in your house.

You just smiled at him not really caring about his stern gaze as you pulled his collar by one hand, a bottle on wine on another as you finally pulled him in for a kiss.

His body stiffened at the sudden proximity, he felt your one hand running through his hair and tucking on it making him groan. He pulled your body harshly against his as he devoured you unable to control himself as his hands roamed everywhere on your body, touching each surface of your exposed skin as much as possible.

He pulled away to catch his breath, his eyes darkening at the sight of your swollen lips, then his eyes landed on the bottle of wine loosely hanging on your hand and he snatched it from you, opening the bottle and chugging as much as drink possible in one go.

Your eyes widened as you look at him drinking the wine vigorously. You once again moved towards him taking the bottle from his hands and putting it somewhere on the kitchen counter.

You hop onto the counter and once again tugged him towards you kissing and sucking on his neck and drinking the remains of wine which spilled from his mouth onto his neck and chest. He let out a groan as his hands found your hair and he grabbed them harshly pulling you off him before once again claiming your lips.

You crossed your legs around his body and you felt his hands move down from your head towards you waist to hold you in place as he got away from the counter carrying you, lips still attached with each other sighing and moaning in each other's mouth as he lead you towards your room.

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You hadn't even check your phone and put it in silent mode just to avoid your group members potentially messaging or calling you to reach you and inform you about something you were purposly trying to ignore.

It was late at night, clearly an hour before the night ends and another day starts as you walked in the direction of your dorm room which was few blocks away from your company's building, where you had been practicing for a stage whole day which wasn't even that important and you had already mastered all of the steps and lyrics.

With that thought in your mind, you took out your phone and you watch as the screen lit up as your pressed your finger on the senser, the first thing to catch your attention among the numerous texts and calls of your members and few of Seventeen's was the date&time displayed.

10:50 PM, 4 October.

You made your way inside your dorm building's lobby still focused on your phone as you deligently cleared your notifications not paying much attention to the surroundings since your dorm's building was never that crowded at such times., at least that's what Jeonghan thought as he watched you made your way towards him or more specifically where the stairs of your dorm room lies, unknown of his presence.

He looked at his wrist where your initials were craved, they were just initials and there maybe hundreds of people with same initials for all he knew but his doubts vanished when he asked your members about the soulmark on your wrist and they informed him about his initials being craved on them. Despite all of this, he followed his gut feelings, he just needed to touch you to confirm everything.

He had been sitting on the stairs for nearly an hour now, his eyes narrowed to get a better look and not miss anything as he focused on the building's gate, hand clasped together tightly, legs tapping the ground beneath, he anxiously waited there to at least see you once before his birthday ends, as if he knew that the only person who was going to cross it anytime soon was you.

It was a terrible idea, he knew but if you weren't going to show any signs of acknowledgement of his presence in your life once again he might as well be shameless for the sake of his feelings cause he was aware that he fucked everything up.

He straightened his back and got up taking a few steps down the stairs to meet you halfway when he noticed you putting your phone back inside your pocket, you were going to notice him now that you weren't focused on anything else.

"Yoon Jeonghan?"

Your voice was a low whisper but he felt his heart skipping a beat as his name rolled off your lips. He was never a fan of his name thinking his parents could have chosen some cooler sounding name but he loved the way you said his name and he suddenly was in love with his formerly not so cool name.

He watched as you sighed softly before siding him but not today he wasn't going to let you off today easily, he was confused if he was being this daring because he couldn't take it anymore or that it was all because today was his birthday and he knew that for you at some point of your life his birthday was one of the most important day.

He blocked your path, his body a little bit more closer than it has ever being in years.

"You didn't attend my birthday party."

"I had other important things to do."

"I just needed few hours of your day if not two, you know."

"I apologize, now if you would excuse me."

His breath hitched, this wasn't going to be easy but he had to do something. He had watched you from afar for a year already and his guilt and conscience was eating him up every time he looked at you or hear about you.

He just needed to talk, to let you know about his feelings, to tell you how he didn't mean any of the thing which had happened in the past in between you both which broke you apart, he needed to tell you how he deserved your hatred rather than the obvious nonchalant attitude you put before him.

He just needed to hear your voice directly talking to him, he needed you to look at him to show any signs that there's still hope cause God knows he wouldn't survive being without you.

"You are free now, I asked your members and they said you don't have any schedule till tomorrow evening so I guess you can spend the last hour of my birthday with me without sacrificing your sleep or anything else."

He knew that if he didn't knew any better, the glare which you sent in his direction would have made anyone else surrender in defeat in seconds, but he kept his cool facade on as he threw you a shit eating grin as if to prove you that you couldn't back off.

You rolled your eyes, hands crossed across your chest clearly feeling frustrated cause you knew that once he made up his mind for anything, he'll do anything to get it done and you spending his birthday's last hour with him was one of it.

You groaned, indirectly telling him that you aren't a big fan of the idea as you turned around towards the building gate once again. You frowned when you look behind after walking a good distance noticing that he was still glued on the same place with a confused expression. You huff in annoyance.

"Are you going to spend the rest one hour standing there or you wanna go outside? I don't mind intentionally wasting this one hour just so you know." with that you turned around once again as you started making your way out of the building.

Jeonghan blinked a few times clearly surprised at your sudden change in behavior. You never let him speak more than two sentence before ignoring him completely but here you were ready to spend an hour with him, just him.

He closed his eyes as he silently thanked his members as well as yours to help him mend his relationship with you at least till this point.

When he first faced you after years of not being in contact, you didn't even behave like you knew him, like he never made your day better, like he never really sing you to sleep, like he never was your high, like he never really existed in your life and he was shattered.

He made a big mistake but he loved you way too much to lose you like that, you didn't deserve it and he was ready to do anything to fix that. A smile plastered on his lips as he started running to catch up with you.

He brought you towards where his car was parked and started driving, no words were exchanged. He took a look at you leaning on the passenger seat lazily, your head on the closed tinted window. He reached towards the button and slightly pulled the window glass down enough for the outside air to enter in.

You frown feeling the glass move as you pushed yourself off to properly sit and shot a glare towards him before looking after what he did. You can't breathe properly due to suffocation when the cars windows are all closed so he pull down the windows enough to let some air in.

You looked at him as he casually continued his driving like doing such things for you was his second nature, well it used to be his second nature and all of the things he was doing was just in his instincts.

It was in his instincts to take care of you, to know what you like, to know what you don't, to know how you like your drink, which things pisses you off. To him you were an open book and never in your life anyone had ever read you the way he did. No one could ever.

"Namsan tower? I thought you would take me to one of those cheesy fancy restaurants or something." you mumbled as you took out your seat belt and head out of the car immediately sighing in relief as the suffocating air of car was now replaced by the fresh air.

Jeonghan got out of the car moments after you did as he observed you.

"This place is more important than those cheesy fancy restaurants for me."

He could sense the awkward aura that surrounded you as both of you made your way towards the tower. It held so many memories, so many moments which both of you still cherish from the bottom of your heart. Maybe taking you here would help him rekindle your relationship.

The familiar road which you had abandoned from years, now that you were walking on it again with the same person who was with you the last time you went there you could tell your emotions were running wild and it was going to be one hell of an hour.

Jeonghan stopped when he reached at the far end of the namsan tower locks as he turn around towards you.

You lift up your eyes from the ground to come directly in contact with his eyes, oh how he managed to still make your heat skip a beat with just one look. You broke the eye contact first as your focus slowly was stolen away by the place you were now standing.

There were hardly any people here, since everyone's major attention seeker was the locks of the tower where the lovers wish for their happy ending and lock it. It was only yours and his place, the end of the namsan's lock. You slowly made your way towards where he was standing few feet away from you and you internally prayed to heavens to make the time flow fast.

"It's still beautiful as it was when we used to come here." you looked at him to see him smiling nostalgically at the memory, the sight of him like that was enough for your breath to get caught, he was still breathtaking you concluded.

He turned towards you when he felt your eyes on him which made you look ahead at the beautiful scenery. Your hands felt cold due to the sudden chilly wind and also because of the rush of emotions inside you, you rubbed your sweaty palms on your jeans before putting them back on the railings.

Jeonghan looked at you like he knew that today will mayhaps be the day where either he'll make everything up or fuck everything up all over again and for the first time in years he was so nervous he could feel his heart on his throat.

The last time he felt like that was the time when he sent you a long breakup message on how he fell out of love and was seeing some fellow idol for a quite while behind your back and he couldn't do it anymore. He explained how he got distracted since he spent more time with them as compared to you. He apologized for causing you pain and meeting someone behind your back, he just didn't want to hurt you he said and you just replied with a plain, 'Take care.'

That was it, nothing else. He didn't hear anything from you after that until he saw you in pledis building, this time around as the member of their upcoming girl group.

You didn't yell at him like he expected you to, you didn't hurt him in return, you just completely erased yourself from his life like he never existed. You changed your apartment, he found his things were still there, you didn't take anything with you. Not a single thing. And then it hit him that maybe, maybe he lost something which was very dear to him.

Thinking about the past made him rethink about his boldness that he put up today. He had zero idea how you took the breakup. He was sure you were hurt, devastated, broken up but he didn't know if you hated him for what he did, resented him, still loved him, forget him, cried over him for days, were just angry at him and wished he died instead, cursed him or anything else.

Your feelings regarding the breakup remained an enigma to him till this date, he wasn't sure what was in your mind when you saw him, when you first heard him.

He suddenly felt self conscious about himself, he didn't even properly breakup with you, just a text and you didn't deserve such nonchalant behavior of his, at least he should have told you all of this in person.

But how could he, both of you were not in contact with each other for months since he had recently debuted with Seventeen and was busy with promotions and going out with some other idol to even care about if he contacted you or not cause you were too understanding and too good for him.

He took a deep breath, shivering as he pulled out one of his hands from his hoodie's pocket and gently taking your hand in his and intertwining it, if it was the regular Jeonghan today he was sure he would have run away from the mess he created rather than facing it, but today was different today he actually had something to gain or lose.

Your head snapped towards him in an instant, disbelief portrayed on your face as you look in between your intertwined hands and his face. He put your intertwined hands back inside his hoodie's pocket, ignoring the loud beating of his heart and the obviously frustrated glare you were throwing towards him. He closed his eyes as he tried to calm his nerves down, God this was just him holding your hand like he did countless of time yet he was so nervous.

"We always used to do this back then, your hands get cold easily so I used to hold your hand and put it inside the pocket to make you feel more warm."

He let out a breath he didn't even know he held slowly looking towards you as you were now looking straight ahead and not him. Your facial expressions stiff and a distant look in your eyes.

"What are your intentions Yoon Jeonghan?"

You voice was sharp, to the point and he knew it was meant for him to hurt and for the love of God it did. It broke him. You tried to pull away your hand but he held it tight not letting go. You opened your mouth to say something but he beat you to it.

"It's my birthday today, take it as my wish. I want to relive the time I spent with you just like we used to. Just for tonight, I want my girl back."

He looked at you, his eyes pleading you to consider it. You always fulfilled his wishes which he wished on his birthday be it anything, it was like your own little tradition and you promised him that you would fulfill his every birthday wish till your last breath, he just hoped that you still remembered it and that it still applied, it was his only desperate attempt left.

To beg you for your love.

"Please..."

He sounded so delicate, so fragile, so desperate, he knew he had long thrown his reputation and image in the trash can.

"You promised me you would complete all of my birthday wishes whatever they were if I said them to you before the clock hit 12 till your last breath. Are you going to turn your back on your own words?"

He saw you contemplating to say something and then deciding not to then you took a deep breath and stop struggling to pull away your hand from his grasp.

"Okay....just till midnight." he heard you say as you tightly clasped his hand in yours.

His members and yours had been nothing but a blessing in his and yours shattered relationship. They knew what Jeonghan did was wrong and that he deserved what he was going through but his love for you wasn't something which would go unnoticed by anyone.

So they helped him in every way possible to crack your cold heart into the previous warm one and they didn't hesitate to even blackmail you to consider giving him a second chance and that's the soul reason why you were here with him without creating any scene and argument.

He knew you hated being here and you would've left him there alone if it wasn't for your egoistic self taking a toll on your logical self and compile to whatever attacks your members were making towards you when you said you would never consider being with him again. It's like your members knew you like the back of their hands and knew what exactly they had to do for him to have a chance and he mentally made a note to thanks them personally for this.

You felt him leave your hand and move as you stood still on your spot. He moved behind you carefully snaking his one arm around your torso and other around your shoulder as he pulled you in him. The suddenness of moments leaving your mind blank as he buried his head at the crook of your neck. Your body became stiff as you clutch your fist to control yourself.

This was too much for you, you weren't prepared but he had to, scratch that he needed to be close to you. He was going insane, his body and mind getting euphoric just by your mere scent which he was inhaling. He kept on mumbling sorry again and again as if it would change something, anything, he was desperate.

You looked ahead, not uttering even a single word as he poured his heart out as he cried, his face still buried at the crook of your neck. You could feel his tears slipping down from your neck and sipping inside your clothes fabric or your chest. His grip on you tightened almost as if he was scared you would disappear anytime soon and you let him do what he wanted, till midnight.

"I'm sorry babe, I fucked up. I wish we could get back together like we used to and rebuilt our relationship. I love you so fucking much it's actually crazy how I didn't realize I need you this much when I was with you. Guess I took you for granted but please please please I'll do anything to gain you back please don't slip away from me."

And he cried all of the pain and guilt away which built up in him since the time he broke up. He didn't care if your roles in the relationship changed, he didn't care if you treat him nonchalantly, he just wanted you to love him and be with him.

His cries subsidized as the time passed and you could hear him sniffling and rubbing his nose on your clothed shoulder like he always did and you stayed there silently feeling the warmth he radiated.

He removed his hand which was on your torso and held your hand and brought it in front of you both so that your hands were visible to both of you. He pulled down the sleeves of your top revealing your wrist and he could feel his and yours heart beating loudly against his chest at the sight.

Yoon Jeonghan was craved beautifully on your wrist and when he pulled the sleeves of his own hoodie up you could feel your eyes well up by noticing your name craved on his wrist right beside where your hand was with both of your names side by side.

"I love you." he simply said as he hit his head lightly on your shoulder too tried to utter another word or explain anything else. He did everything he could do and all that was left now was those three words.

"I love you too." you replied as he turn you around to face him, the shock clearly evident on his face like he wasn't expecting this. He didn't even expect you to say its okay yet alone those three words back. But before he could say something, you did.

"I loved you too damn much and I know I'll keep on doing it. Cause all you ever taught me was how to love and I'm filled with you."

He wiped the tears which slipped from your eyes as he mumbled how sorry he was that you had to go through so much pain alone.

"I love you, Yoon Jeonghan...but you betrayed your love and your times up."

With that you pushed yourself away from him, the distant and cold look coming back on your face as you left him there, alone. You stopped a cab and got in never turning back and once he came back to his senses he realized what you did. You gave him a taste of his own medicine. You let him make a fool of himself in front of you and ditched him in the end, just like he did.

He turned around to look for you but all he could see was moving cars and empty surrounding he called for you thinking that you were playing some sort of prank but little did he know that he was wrong.

Jeonghan opened his eyes, his hands clutching on the sheets as he propped himself up. He rubbed his face grabbing his head due to the unbearable headache he felt. He dreamed about his birthday again, it was slowly becoming like a nightmare to him, a nightmare which he knew had already happened.

"You're up."

He ignored his thoughts when he felt like he heard your voice, confusion laced on his face as he slowly lift his head up to see your figure leaning on the doorframe of the bed. You pulled yourself off the leaning position as you threw him a small smile before going out of the room and coming back with a tray in your hands.

You sat in front of him, the blanket was splayed across his lower half as your legs came in contact with his, confirming that it was all real.

"Is your head hurting? The hangover must have hit hard considering you drank everything in one go. Drink this and you'll feel at ease."

You handed him the drink which you made and put aside the tray. His head lingered around the words you just muttered hangover? Drank everything in one go?

"Aren't you going to drink it?" you voice brought him back, his focus once again on you. You hand made contact with his forehead and then back and his arms as you tried to feel his body temperature.

"You didn't caught fever did you?" you asked concernly. He shook his head, he was fine but he wasn't sure about anything other than that.

His eyes landed on your shirt, the one which was somewhat too big for you, half of it was tucked neatly inside your shorts. He realized it was his shirt and after that everything started to fall into places as memories of last night started flooding inside his head.

"Where were you? I didn't see you here when I woke up." he said after he drank the drink you made.

"Hyungjae came to ask me about my schedule so that we could work together on writing the song for his upcoming song."

"You went outside the apartment to meet him, like this?" he questioned as he eyed you form. You were wearing his shirt, the purple marks from last night still visible on your neck even though your hair were kept loose and shorts.

"What's the problem in this? He was just outside the door I could've even gone in my pajamas and he wouldn't have care less."

You shrugged as if it didn't bother you at all about the fact that Hyungjae was also present at the party yesterday and surely knew what Jeonghan wore and then he came to meet you and you were wearing his shirt.

It was as if you had indirectly told Hyungjae that you belonged to him and that boy never shut up but Jeonghan didn't mind about it what he minded was if you were okay with that.

"Come on I'm in the kitchen freshen up and have some breakfast with me."

He watched as you got up and headed outside the door was this actually reality? Didn't you say that he betrayed you and that you have nothing to do with him? He thought whatever you did last night was something done under the influence of alcohol in your system but he guessed you just drank purposely to avoid backing off.

He quickly made his way towards your bathroom and did his morning routine. He looked at himself in the mirror, he was shirtless since you were wearing his and he had his pants on, some of the marks of last night still visible on his upper body reminding him that you are waiting for him at the kitchen so he made his way towards it.

He saw you seated on the kitchen counter eating up ice-cream when he saw you looking at him.

"I was going to make breakfast but then it dawned me how tired I'm from last night and I lost all of my will to do anything. Will you make breakfast?"

His could feel his ears turning red after hearing you say that, a laughed escaped your lips watching him get so flustered as you motioned him to come closer to you and he did. He came towards you and you put the container of ice cream aside, your hands cradling his face to kiss his forehead, nose and then his lips.

He looked at you for a second before wrapping his hands around your body lazily, you leaned in again and he let his body relax against you and let you take the lead. You wrapped your legs around his torso bringing him more close and he sighed into the kiss. The kiss was lazy and slow like you were just trying to remember the way he felt close to you.

You pull away breathing softly as your eyes were still closed, the feeling of his lips still lingering on your own, he put his forehead on yours sighing contently.

"Are you fine?" his voice was a bit hoarse due to kissing, you opened your eyes taking look at him. You smiled pecking his lips again before removing some of the strands of hair fallen on his face.

"You still look so ethereal when the afterglow hits you." you said making him even more flustered if he wasn't already.

"I always asked you to never say it to me, it makes me flustered." he whined as he hide his face at the crook of your neck in embarrassment. Although he was embarrassed he couldn't help but feel at ease listening you talking about the things you did together in the past.

"Why did you suddenly decided to change?" he coughed as he asked you trying to remove the hoarseness in his voice.

"If you don't remember, you said you wish for us to get back together and rebuilt our relationship and I promised you I would grant all of your birthday wishes."

You smiled recalling the memories you made with him, his birthday few months prior and his confession was something you couldn't take off your head for weeks and then you decided to talk it out with Joshua since he already found his soulmate.

After talking with Joshua, you started figuring out your own feelings towards Jeonghan cause all you had even done was push aside anything related to him to not get hurt but when you actually started thinking about it you realize that if Jeonghan was ready to risk it all for you, the least you could do was give me a chance to do so and although you knew it would take sometime to trust him and love him like you did at some point you were determined to test the bond which fate had given a chance to.

"Although it took me sometime to actually consider all of this, I wasn't sure, I never have been but I guess in the end when it comes to you, there's no going back and also there must be a reason the fate tied us together right?"

You felt him smile against your lips, the weight on his shoulder was lifted finally letting him have the peace. He hugged you tight, too afraid that this moment was nothing more than a dream and he didn't want to wake up.

Having you say those words, he felt he could finally sleep at night without feeling the burden and he realized that when you love someone your ego and reputation should be thrown out of your body cause in the end you were the only thing that mattered to him, his lover, his life, his soulmate who had touch him in million ways possible.

"I love you, han." you whispered as you heard him chuckle making you frown.

"I was so used to hear to call me Yoon Jeonghan that Han felt like a distant memory to me but now it had unlocked many different kinds of emotions I kept buried inside the deepest corners of my heart. I think being with you once again there are going to be so many nostalgic rides down the memory's lane and I'm ready to risk it all for you."

With that he rubbed his nose against you as he turn around towards the gas stove to start preparing for the breakfast. He felt you hug him from behind mumbling how you were hungry and that he should hurry up, he was actually looking forward for his days now.

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"The one who let me know and see myself, you are my only flower. If you bloom forever in my heart then it's okay for me to get hurt."

214 notes · View notes

girlmeetsliv3 · 5 years

Text

K-12: Sixth Grade

~ Inspired by Melanie Martinez’s K-12 ~

No one said school was easy nor that it was a fun place. However, Tentoria academy was not a place for the faint of heart, mind, or soul. It’ll be a miracle if you survive your first day - not to mention 12 years. Oh well. Battles to the death, demonic summoning, and inter-dimensional travel is all part of growing up…right?

Word Count: 1000

Release Date: October 25, 2019, 5:15 pm (GMT-4)

For what may have been the first time in your life, your mother gave you a present. It was in a thin white cardboard box with small pieces of tape, the store's logo had been hidden under a thick layer of permanent marker, and to top it all off a cheap paper ribbon glued as the cherry on top. It made tears well in your eyes, as it was the one time in your entire life that you had been given something without any expected in return. Well your gratitude was expected, but that didn't really count.

"Open it up." Your mother spoke. Her aged gruffly voice, consequence of smoking cigarettes since she was your age, sounded dull now. Its rasp almost soothing in a strange way. Strange for it was usually insults that voice directed at you. Ripping it open, you found a purple uniform dress although altered slightly: it was shorter, tighter, the waist more emphasized. It seemed like something the high school girls wore when they sneaked out of their dorms into the boys.

"Don't you like it?" There was a warning in that voice. "Of course. I love it." You clutched the material to your chest, it was smooth yet not soft. "Good, its about time you started wearing more mature things." Your fingertips brushed against the material of the dress once more, taking in how cool it was compared to the warmth of your other clothes. Your mother didn't pay attention to your silence, you didn't tend to say much around her anyway. "Thank you, Mom."

Rosé and you giggled like schoolgirls, even if you technically still were, as you walked the halls. It was right before lunch and everyone was loitering around either speaking to friends or leaving class. "Check it out, Lucas is staring at you." Rosé whispered in your ear, her eyes focused on the young boy leaning against the lockers. Your eyes followed hers, meeting Lucas' gaze. He had always been somewhat adorable with his goofy smile, but now he'd grown quite tall and his face had slimmed down.

After a while his left eye dropped into a wink and he smiled at you. You couldn't blame the way, your cheeks heated or heart skipped a beat. "I think someone has a cru-ush." Rosé sang softly, teasing you. You lightly shoved her in retaliation. The two of you erupting into giggles again. Rosé sighed, "I wish someone would like me." Even though her tone was cheery, you didn't miss the way her the corner of her mouth went down slightly. "Rosé," you threw your arms around her, "you're beautiful. I'm sure you'll have both men and women crawling to your feet by the end of the day." She laughed it off, but you could tell it made your best friend feel better.

The end of the day had come, study hall was the final period and you attempted to get all your homework done. You hated having to stay up late and do it in the dorms. "Psst." You assumed it wasn't directed towards you, so you ignored it. "Psst. Y/n." This time you rolled your eyes, letting your pencil drop against the desk. Looking around you found Umji staring straight at you. "Here. Read it." She threw you a note that fell a few inches short of your desk, forcing you to pick it up the ground. Umji wasn't mean, but she was a bit slow sometimes. This better be important. You opened the folded up piece of paper to be greeted with a list, from the handwriting it was clear a boy had written it. However, once you deciphered what it read it only made you mad.

Best Ass in Class

1. Kim Taehyung

2. Park Sooyoung

3. Y/l/n Y/n

...

10. Park Roseanne

Your eyes shot up and accidentally met Rosé questioning stare. She seemed confused and you longed to have her stay like that. It was when you stared back down and refused to meet her eyes again that she began to prod you. Trying to contact you so that she could understand what was bothering you. You crumbled the paper up and stood up, walking towards the bin and throwing the paper away.

That was when some of the girls in class snickered, their fingers pointed derogatorily at Rosé. There was another list. Despite you trying to prod her this time, Rosé ignored you. Focused on trying to find out what was happening. Eventually, the list made it's way into her hands. She stared at it for a long time before crumbling it up and putting it away in her bag, the snickers getting louder. When you confronted her outside of class, she seemed normal. "It's some stupid boys. I don't care what they think."

She cried herself to sleep that night. You heard her, even though she tried to muffle it with a pillow. Years later, you don't think she's gotten entirely over it.

#k-12 #girlmeetsliv3

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asofterfan · 5 years

Text

Winter Winds

Chapter 5: Come With Me Now

Previous ~ Next

Summary: Remy blinks, and suddenly Toby has managed to weave himself into their life. And they’re not sure that’s a good thing.

Warnings: Remy’s unhealthy drinking habits

Remy groaned as their phone buzzed next to their ear. They half-heartedly shoved it off the bed, hearing it land with a soft ‘thud’. However the buzzing continued. Sighing in annoyance, they pushed themselves up onto one arm, reaching over to retrieve their phone and unlock it to see a long string of messages waiting for them.

DocOct: Remy

DocOct: Remyyyyy

DocOct: Sleepyhead

DocOct: Do you want a dog?

DocOct: Remy do you want a dog?

DocOct: I have a dog if you want a dog

The final message was an image of Toby, most of his body and face hidden by the large smiling husky he held in his arms, a slight blur around the animal as the dog wiggled happily.

Remy raised an eyebrow, hoping that Toby could sense it.

Sleepyhead: What about me gave you the impression that I should be in charge of any living thing ever?

DocOct: …

DocOct: touche

Snorting, Remy sat up, resigned to starting the day. Looking at the time, they saw it was only a half hour before their alarm was set to go off at noon. They had an appointment at one, so at least that gave them a little time to get ready slowly and get some caffeine in them. Their phone was buzzing again, but coffee first.

Forty-five minutes later, as Remy was walking out of a Starbucks ready to down their second cup since waking up, they suddenly remembered the messages waiting for them. Taking a long sip of coffee, they unlocked their phone to see what else October had sent them.

DocOct: I just want Hermione to be adopted by someone I know

DocOct: so I can see her all the time

DocOct: my boss wont let me take her

DocOct: apparently I’ve “reached the maximum number of animals allotted per employee” :(

DocOct: also I don’t have a yard

DocOct: did you fall back asleep?

Remy shook their head as they typed out a reply.

Sleepyhead: I have a job you know

DocOct: you could still be asleep

DocOct: I literally met you when you were asleep at work

Sleepyhead: you come into MY HOUSE

The bell chimed above them as they entered the shop, Ali glancing up from the front desk and grinning, “Hey, look who’s on time today! If you can manage to do that one more time we’ll have to use two hands to count it.”

“Ha, ha,” Remy drawled, rolling their eyes, “Be grateful I grace you with my presence at all.”

“You’re literally paid to be here.”

“Not enough, I’m not,” Remy winked, and Ali laughed, shaking her head good naturedly.

“Go get ready for your appointment, asshole.”

Tossing their jacket and bag onto the chair in their station, Remy’s phone buzzed again, and they texted absentmindedly as they set up their supplies for the next appointment.

The day passed the same as always. Remy tattooed a watercolor owl on a young woman's shoulder, Brett and Rafa argued in the background over hot sauce brands, Ali harped on Remy to update their portfolio, and Cass got roped into picking up their lunch order. The only thing different was that when Remy’s phone buzzed on their table from time to time, Remy actually responded whenever they had a chance throughout the day.

This fact did not escape Cass’ attention, the petite woman peeking over the dividing wall and between their stations near the end of the night as Remy’s phone vibrated again.

“Someone’s popular today,” she hummed with a devious look in her eye.

“Bitch, I’m popular everyday,” Remy raised an eyebrow at her in a challenge, which she gladly took up.

She skipped out of her cubicle and came to stand at the front of Remy’s station, “Oh come on, you never get this many texts, and you definitely never respond so timely. I once texted you to ask if you could cover a shift and you texted me back two weeks later.”

Remy frowned, “Hey, you gotta earn my attention hon,” they waved their hand dismissively, “I got places to be, things to do. No time for chitchat.”

“You’ve got time for someone,” Cass glanced pointedly at Remy’s phone, “Somebody finally tame the shrew?”

“Ew, don’t use Shakespeare to insult me.”

“I’m not insulting you!”

“And I’m not two seconds from keying your car,” Remy smirked, “See? Saying things is easy.”

Cass rolled her eyes, moving to walk back into her station, “Are you nicer to your penpal, or are they just a masochist?”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll wise up soon,” Remy hums with a smile, turning back to their computer. The conversation ends, and both artists return to their work, but Remy is a little slower in responding to their phone for the rest of the day.

Eventually, night falls. The shop is closed up and Remy’s coworkers go for a drink that Remy declines to join in on. As the group disappears around the corner, Remy leans against the wall next to the shop, sighing and pulling out a cigarette. They don’t really know what they want to do. Cityscape doesn’t appeal the way it normally does, but the idea of returning to their apartment makes them pull out a second cigarette moments after finishing the first.

They’re debating just wandering the city without a destination when their phone buzzes in their pocket.

DocOct: This bar is so weird

DocOct: Like SO WEIRD

DocOct: It’s terrible

DocOct: Come join me

The next text is an address.

Remy exhales the smoke in their mouth slowly, considering their options. Their fingers tap anxiously against the phone, and Cass’ words ring in their head. They’re not dumb. They know this isn’t going to end well.

Sleepyhead: Weird bars are the best ;P be there in 10

But they don’t want to go home, either.

~~~~

“What the FUCK Octagon?”

Snapping his head up from where he was leaning against the bartop in boredom, Toby’s face split into a wide grin, “Remy! You’re here!”

“Yeah and I can already tell it was a mistake!” They put their hands on their hips, eyes narrowed, “What the fuck is this place? Why is there weird anime being projected on the wall? Why are there cosplayers? Where the fuck am I??”

Toby laughed heartily, “It’s a popup bar for some anime I can’t pronounce that came out a while ago.”

“Do you watch said anime?”

“Nah.”

“Then why are we here?”

“Well~,” He drew the word out as he smirked, “I’m here, because one of my coworkers and I are playing “popup bingo” and this gets me one square closer to winning a wholesale bulk box of lint rollers-”

“There is so much to unpack there-”

“-but you,” he twirled his finger as he pointed at Remy, not allowing them to detract the situation, “are here because you wanted to see me~.”

That had Remy’s thoughts screeching to a halt.

“That is just, just blatantly untrue!!” Remy stuttered out, pouting dramatically, “I came because you said the word ‘bar’ and alcohol is a thing I enjoy.”

“You could have gone to any bar, though,” damn him and that stupid pretty smile, “but you came to this one because it’s where I said I was.”

FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK

Remy relaxed their shoulders, bringing one hand to rest on the bar and tilting their head to the side, very consciously putting on their best “cool and casual” air.

“I came for the trainwreck,” they smiled innocently, “I haven’t found a reason to stay though.”

They made an exaggerated show of turning around and slowly walking away. Finally Toby sighed loudly.

“Fiiiiine I’ll buy the first round.”

Remy spun back around on their heel, grinning victoriously, “A man after my own heart.”

“Damn straight.”

“Just for that you’re buying me two drinks.”

Toby laughed, not looking particularly perturbed at the situation, “Two drinks but one of them is a beer.”

“Deal,” Remy slid into the seat next to Toby at the bar.

~~~~

“I need to move to a different shop.”

“Like HELL you are,” Remy wasn’t sure how Ali even heard the statement he had muttered under his breath, but she came rushing in from the staff break room, glaring at the taller punk, “You aren’t going anywhere until you get through your current scheduled appointments! You made a blood oath!”

“What? When??”

“Remember that time you were so tired you accidentally stapled your hand instead of the client forms?”

“That’s not a blood oath!”

“You bled for the shop, the pact is sealed.”

“Uh…..” Toby raised his hand slowly from where he stood just inside the front door, drawing the attention of the two tattoo artists, “I can come back later? Patton said your shift ended at seven on Wednesdays...”

“Goddammit Patton,” Remy cursed, “he should know better than to give my schedule out to stalkers.”

“He does.”

“He ships it.”

“And besides” he pointedly ignored Cass’ comment, “my shifts not over ye-”

“Oh yes it is,” Ali chimed in.

Remy whipped his head to look at his boss in betrayal, “Excuse me? Two seconds ago you were talking about how you owned my ass or something so I could never leave.”

“You can’t stop working here,” she clarified, “but you can leave when your shift is over. Which it is.”

“But I’m still doing stuff!” Remy gestured to the sketchbook in front of him.

Ali crossed her arms stubbornly, “You’ve done your work for the day, and you’ve already got overtime this week. Go have fun with your fan boy.”

Rolling his eyes, Remy stood and roughly shoved his things into his bag, “You know, you’re my boss. You don’t have to make dumb excuses when you’re sick of me.”

“Remy-” Ali called after him, but he was already heading out the door.

“Sorry, I’m off the clock, see you tomorrow~,” he sang as he slipped out of the shop.

He heard the bell chime a second time and footsteps jog to catch up with him, “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” Toby said quietly, remorse heavy in his voice.

Part of him wanted to snap at him. It was on the tip of his tongue to prattle about how if Toby really didn’t want to cause trouble then he should get lost, how he’d been nothing but trouble since day one, how of course there was going to be trouble when he kept showing up and Remy still didn’t know why.

But…

The words died on his tongue. A different part of him whispered that he didn’t really mind Toby’s brand of trouble.

So instead, Remy grinned and bumped his hip against Toby, “~I knew you were trouble when you walked in~”

He barked out a laugh, “So shame on me~.”

Remy rolling his eyes, shaking his head fondly as Toby chuckled. After about a block Toby spoke up, “Sooooo,” he drawled, “Where are we going?”

“What’s with all this ‘we’ business? I am a Goddamn island, hon.”

“Well call me Castaway,” Toby purred, sliding closer to Remy’s side.

“Prepare to starve, bitch.”

“WILSONNNNNNN-”

“Jesus Christ, shutthefuckup!” Remy shoved Toby’s shoulder, cutting off his dramatic wail. Remy ran a hand over his face, trying to look exasperated even as he struggled to hide his smile, “If I let you come with me will you stop making movie references?”

“For now,” he smirked mischievously.

Remy rolled his eyes, “That’s the best I’m gonna get, isn’t it?”

“Yup,” Toby’s mouth popped around the end of the word and Remy snorted.

“There’s a club that just opened near River West,” he shoved his hands in his pockets was he walked, “I’ve been planning to check it out, see if it’s worth adding to my nightlife rotation. No reason not to do so tonight I guess.”

The shorter punk grinned enthusiastically, “Cool! Sounds fun!”

“I’m sure it does.”

“Oh! I just remembered, I have to tell you about this rabbit that we got in today-”

The two walked through the city together, crossing the bridge to the west side of downtown as Toby rambled about his day and the animals they received and the ones given to new homes. Remy hummed in response, smoked a cigarette, offered his priceless sass- for free, nonetheless- so by the time they reached the club Remy felt entitled to a little good karma.

What they got, though, was a plain brick building with a single neon sign and a few groups of drunk teens loitering outside.

“Well,” Remy pushed his sunglasses onto the top of his head, “I will admit, this is not a promising start.”

“The… the sign just says “Club”,” Toby commented, pointing to the one word neon sign.

“That’s…” it took a moment for Remy to think of a word, “....succinct.”

“You filtered through a lot of worse words before landing on that one, didn’t you.”

“Shut up and let’s go inside.”

The security barely spared them a glance as they made their way in. Remy squinted at the dim lighting, the flashing lights around the dance floor too dull to really illuminate anything. Meanwhile Toby crinkled his nose as he felt his shoes stick to the floor a little, “You said this place just opened, right? How are their floors already so gross?”

“What the hell is this music?”

“It’s freezing in here, did they bother insulating the building at all?”

Remy made a face of disgust, “I need a drink, STAT.”

“Or maybe we could just go somewhere else?” Toby suggested as they made their way over to the bar.

“Not without some alcohol in my veins we’re not,” he pouted as he pushed his way to the front, ordering a tequila shot as Toby stood behind him. “I’m off work, that means I get to finally have some fun,” he paid for his shot quickly, turning back to face the other punk.

Toby shook his head fondly, “You need a hobby.”

“I have a hobby!”

“Drinking isn’t a hobby.”

“No, it’s a game and I’m winning.”

“That’s called alcoholism. Also you still need a hobby.”

Remy smirked sharply, “You can get your own hobby if you have such a problem with mine,” he stared Toby in the eye as he downed the shot, pointedly ignoring the chaser.

Toby held his hands up in a peacemaking gesture, “I don’t have a problem with it,” he raised an eyebrow, “I just think you could stand to get out more. Get a change of scenery,” he grinned mischievously, “If nothing else it would make my hobby or tagging along with you more interesting.”

“I knew you had ulterior motives,” Remy shook his head, laughing lightly. Looking around, he scrunched his nose as he took in the mass of people dancing overly risque in the center of the room, “Ugh. How are they dancing to this trash? Moreso, how are they still keeping up the weird sexy shit? How is this bizzare techno-country garbage not an instant mood killer? Allosexuals make no sense.”

“Hey, I’m confused too. I admire their tenacity though?” he replied uncertainly.

“I don’t. I am judging very harshly.”

“That’s your default though. It’s like you have resting judgy face except it’s not just your face.”

“Damn straight,” Remy flagged down the bartender and ordered a beer, “This is not the kind of club you experience sober.”

Snorting, Toby leaned against the bar next to him. Once his drink arrived, they both stayed by the bar, neither wanting to venture out onto the floor. Remy sipped on his drink, and after a few minutes Toby took out his phone and began tapping on the screen nonchalantly. When the first beer was finished, Remy wasted no time ordering another. Turning to October, Remy shook his head and tsked, “You are at a club surrounded by beautiful people,” he gestured mostly to himself, “and you’re on your phone? Honestly, you look like a baby boomer meme right now.” Toby’s only response was to turn and stick his tongue out, Remy giggling as he took his beer from the bartender, “Seriously girl, what’s got your attention so fixed? You sexting over there?”

That made Toby pause, his fingers hovering over the screen as he turned to look at Remy with a deadpan expression, “You literally could not be more wrong about what is happening here.”

Remy raised an eyebrow suspiciously as he took a long drink. Toby rolled his eyes as he turned back to his phone, but his lips were twitching towards a smile. The night was young, so Remy felt fine chugging his beer in an attempt to speed things along.

However, that plan was soon foiled. As he neared the bottom of the bottle, Toby gasped loudly, Remy choking a bit on his drink in surprise. He was still coughing and sputtering as Toby smacked at his arm to get his attention.

“Dude, holy shit there’s a pikachu like two blocks away we gotta go!!”

“Excuse me??”

Toby ignored his bewilderment, instead grabbing his wrist and tugging him towards the exit. Once they reached the door, Toby released him in favor of sprinting down the street. Later, Remy would question what happened next, unable to find any logical reason for why he did what he did.

He ran after him.

Darting down the street, his long legs caught up quickly, allowing him to jog a few feet behind Toby as he raced down the sidewalk. After a couple blocks, he skidded to a stop, Remy nearly running into him as he quickly started tapping at his phone. Panting lightly, Remy glanced over his shoulder.

Pokemon Go was open on the screen, a pikachu standing in an image of the dark street in front of them. Toby muttered softly to himself, “Do not run away, do not run away, do NOT run away…” as he tossed a pokeball at the creature.

Remy’s eyebrows were practically in his hairline, “You have GOT to be kidding me.”

“Shhhhh!! I need to focus!” Toby hissed, tossing various items at the pikachu after it escaped the pokeball a second time. Finally, after a few minutes, the pikachu was sucked into the pokeball and stayed there, tiny stars erupting on the screen at the success.

“YES!!” Toby threw his hands in the air in excitement, “Holy shit! I’ve wanted a pikachu for forever! I have to text Talyn, this is awesome!”

“....what year is this?” Remy stated in amazement, “Pokemon Go is still a thing? What? I feel like I’m hallucinating, like was there something in my drink?”

Toby blinked at him in surprise before grinning widely, “Others may have abandoned their quest, but I never will! It’s not enough to want to be the very best, you gotta work for it.”

Remy snorted, shaking his head in disbelief, “You’re a nerd. Like, such a nerd. I don’t even know what to do with this information. I’m going back to the club where people make sense.”

“Oh come on,” Toby skipped in front of him to block his path as he tried to walk away, “that club sucked and you know it.”

“I know no such thing,” Remy crossed his arms and pouting, his face clearly illustrating that he did in fact know such a thing.

“The music sucked and the drinks were subpar and overpriced. I’m pretty sure most of the people there were underage and didn’t even need fake IDs to get in. And you can try to deny it, but you would have left within half an hour even if I hadn’t run off. Your standards are too high.”

Fuck. He had Remy there. “You’re…. Not wrong….” Remy grumbled.

“Here, hold on...” Toby looked down at his phone, tapping a few times before stating, “there's a bar I've been wanting to check out for a while that’s about half a mile away. We can go there instead!”

Remy frowned, “Can’t we go somewhere closer?”

“This place has really good reviews, and I heard they do fun cocktails. It’s not that far. Pleeeeeease?” Toby pleaded, hands clasped together as he bat his eyelashes up at the taller punk.

Rolling his eyes, Remy shoved him away lightly, “Alright, okay, we can go to your dumb bar.”

“Yes!” Toby threw his hands up in success, “We’ll be there in no time, half a mile isn’t that far. And it’s such a nice night!” He gestured to the cool air around them, not too hot or too cold, with clear skies above them. Remy hummed in agreement, as they began walking.

At first they walked in casual silence, Toby occasionally glancing at his phone while Remy lit a cigarette. But, by the end of that one single cigarette, Remy’s boredom and restlessness hit.

The tattoo artist groaned, hunching over in exaggerated exhaustion, “Ugh, we’ve been walking for forever-”

Toby rolled his eyes, “It’s been less than ten minutes-”

“-and we’ve passed like four bars already!”

“-well, we’re going to a specific one, so-”

“What exactly is this place anyway?” Remy leaned over to look at Toby’s phone, but he pulled the device to his chest to hide the screen.

“You’ll see when we get there!”

Remy narrowed his eyes in suspicion. The two stared at each other, each daring the other to make a move. After a moment of consideration, Remy nodded to himself. Then he lunged for the phone. Toby shrieked in surprise, twisting as Remy’s arms flailed around him, batting at his hands and stumbling as Remy leaned his weight on him. Desperately, he tried to scramble away, holding the phone out at arms length, but it was useless against the taller punk. Remy stretched his arm out, snatching Toby’s phone from his hand and quickly skipping away, leaving Toby to regain his balance.

Looking down at the screen Toby had tried so hard to hide, Remy gasped dramatically, whipping his head around to send Toby a look of betrayal, “You were just making us walk so you could hatch a pokemon egg??”

Toby held his hands up in a peacemaking gesture, “We only need to go a little farther! And I mean, I was planning on taking us to a bar afterwards, so I didn’t really lie-”

“Yes you did!! You tricked me! Into exercising!!*” Remy clutched his chest with a wounded expression on his face, and Toby snorted as he suddenly remembered that Remy was a theater kid. “Don’t laugh! You dragged me through the city-”

“It was less than half a mile! We’re literally still in the same neighborhood!”

“-and now I’m half-sober! I am half-sober and awake, October! Those are my two least favorite things!”

Seeing that Remy was distracted by his own monologue, Toby darted forward and snatched his phone back, “Alright drama queen, tell you what. Let me finish hatching this egg- which will take like three minutes, maybe- and I’ll buy the next round,” he grinned lopsidedly, “as an apology for deceiving you.”

Remy didn’t think he sounded sorry at all, flipping his hair over his shoulder as he considered the offer. After a moment, he crossed his arms and huffed, “Fine.”

Almost immediately Toby’s grin was replaced with a look of something between surprise and amazement, “Wait, for real?”

Remy raised an eyebrow, “You promised me alcohol, no backing out now. But I swear if that bitch hatches into a rattata you’re paying for my drinks for the rest of the night.”

Toby let out a bark or laughter, “You know what? That’s fair,” he turned and began walking again, Remy swiftly falling into step beside him.

“So…” Remy drawled with a smirk, “What team are you? And I swear to God if you say ‘Instinct’-” Toby laughed, shoving his shoulder as they continued down the street.

~~~

“You’re not allowed to be weird until I’ve finished caffeinating,” Remy stated before Toby could even say hello.

Snorting, Toby slid into the seat across from Remy at the Starbucks he had found him at, “I’m not falling for that, I know you’re never done caffeinating.”

“Worth a shot,” Remy sighed, hiding his grin behind his coffee cup. Glancing over, he frowned slightly at the dark bruises on under Toby’s eyes, more prominent than they usually were, and that was saying something, “Did you get any sleep last night?”

“I’m getting some right now~”

“First of all, no. Second of all, I woke up to more messages than usual this morning and also you look like shit.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You’re goddamn welcome.”

Toby rolled his eyes, “I’m fine. Just insomnia,” he took a long sip of his coffee before continuing, “I’ve dealt with it for forever, some nights are just worse than others.”

“That sucks.”

He shrugged, “Eh, it is what it is, but enough about that! You didn’t answer my texts this morning!” From there, Toby continued his usual shenanigans- asking Remy about his plans for the day, how his night had been, lamenting the dogs being picked up later in the day because “obviously I’m happy they’re going to good homes but I’m going to miss themmmmm”. He leaned forward to put his head in his hand, sighing about how he needed to finish his book and become famous so he could buy a bigger house and adopt every animal. As he did, Remy couldn’t help find his eyes drawn to the tattoo on his left arm.

He had seen it countless times by this point, the rough text still clearly legible as “28:06:42:12”. Sighing to himself, he set his coffee on the table to interrupt Toby’s rambling, “Okay, it’s been driving me crazy. What are the numbers on your arm?”

Toby immediately gasped dramatically, clutching his hands to his chest, “Do NOT tell me you’ve never seen Donnie Darko!!”

Remy raised an eyebrow, “I don’t think I have to at this point.”

“Dude! It’s an amazing sci-fi, crime, mystery, scary type movie!”

“You just listed a lot of genres-”

“It’s my favorite Halloween movie. It’s a cult classic!”

“I have a policy that I don’t get involved in cults I didn’t start.”

“I’m pretty sure the Cult of Sleep is just a coma.”

“That’s the goal at least.”

Toby rolled his eyes, smirking, “While your attempts at changing the subject are valiant, it is in vain,” pulling out his phone, he started typing furiously, “Especially since, as luck would have it, I was planning on going to a midnight showing of Donnie Darko next week. And now…” he stretched the word out, clicking a few more buttons on his phone, before grinning widely, “you’re coming with me!”

Remy blinked in surprise, but sure enough, Toby turned his phone towards him, the words “Thank you for your purchase!” on the screen above information on time and place of the movie.

“....What?”

“It’ll be fun!” Toby slips his phone back into his pocket before clapping his hands in excitement, “It’s so trippy! But like, they’re screening the director’s cut, which is SO much better than the theatrical version, because like certain things will actually make SENSE like why would they cut out- I don’t want to spoil anything but like it was dumb how they-”

“Woahwoahwoah, hold up, gurl,” Remy put his hands up to halt Toby’s lecture, blinking at him in astonishment, “What? I mean you- what if I had plans that night?”

“You never have plans,” Toby raised an eyebrow, “you literally spend every night either at a club, at a bar, or at home.”

“Yeah, I PLAN those things!” Remy insisted, “And did you honestly just buy my ticket? In THIS economy? I can think of a million better ways to spend twelve dollars.”

“I can’t.”

“Don’t you bat your eyelashes at me!” curse Toby for making him smile. Bastard. “Besides, you know if that’s after I have work then you’ll have to hang out with me sober, right?”

“Yeah, and?”

“Me. Sober.”

“Remy you’re sober right now!”

“......”

“REMY.”

“Okay, alright, fine I’ll go to the stupid movie!”

“The AMAZING movie.”

“You’re gonna regret this~” Remy sang as he stood, grabbing his bag to make his way out of the shop.

Toby just shook his head, calling after him, “I’ll text you the details!”

~~~~

“What…. did I just watch?”

“RIGHT??”

“No, seriously, what just happened?? Did he actually travel through time? So none of that actually happened?”

“It happened AND it didn’t happen!”

“WHAT?!”

Toby laughed as the two of them exited the theater, Remy holding their head in their hands as they tried to comprehend what they had just watched, “You said it was trippy but DAMN son!”

“But you loved it, right? Tell me you loved it,” Toby pleaded.

“....Well now I don’t want to.”

“Remyyyyyyyy.”

Snorting, Remy shook their head, “Okay, fine, I…. maybe enjoyed it just a bit.”

“Yes!” Toby threw a fist in the air victoriously, “I told you it’d be fun! And hey, I had fun too, even though you’re sober.”

He grinned jokingly, and Remy laughed along nervously, nodding in agreement and deciding not to mention that they had a flask of tequila in their bag that they had been sneaking gulps from ever since they got off work. It was the only way they could think of to calm the anxious energy that waxed and waned in them throughout the night.

Remy stretched as they made their way outside and Toby checked his phone, “Hey, you wanna grab a drink or something? You don’t have work tomorrow, right?”

“Um…” Rey glanced to the side. They really could use another drink, but… “Sorry bud, but I think home is calling. Gotta get to bed so I can stare at the ceiling and reevaluate the concept of time,” they smiled lightly, trying to hide the way their stomach was churning.

It must have worked, cause Toby just chuckled, nodding in understanding, “I feel that. Go get some rest and contemplate existence,” he joked, “Brace yourself for when I make you come over so we can watch it again and discuss theories at length,” he winked playfully, which did nothing to settle Remy’s stomach, an uncomfortable familiarity to the situation.

“I’m always bracing myself when you’re involved.”

“Touche.”

~~~~~~~~~

It became familiar. Remy stopped being surprised when Toby showed up at the end of her shift, or at Starbucks when she was getting coffee, or texted her in the middle of the night. He went clubbing or bar hopping with her, and invited her to movie events at the independent theater downtown. She stopped being surprised, but she didn’t stop feeling a sense of dread. Toby approved of Virgil’s concept, he sent an email full of keysmashes when Remy showed him the final line art, and his tattoo appointment loomed closer.

Every time they hung out, even as Remy laughed and smiled, genuinely having fun with the strange client, she still felt a strange pain in her chest. Each night when she finally headed home, refusing to step foot near Toby’s apartment or let him anywhere near hers, she felt like she had dust in her eyes.

She waited for him to get sick of her shit, for him to ask for something she couldn’t give, for him to stop showing up. But he never did, always looking at her so she could practically see the stars in his eyes, acting like he didn’t need anything else. Remy knew it was temporary, though.

When Remy was with Toby, she couldn’t decided if she felt less lonely or more.

#winter winds #my writing #punk au #punk sleep #punk october #(sleepy hallow)#now we're getting somewhere #alcoholism #alcoholism tw

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sir-adamus · 5 years

Text

RWBY timeline

The show doesn’t give us too much reference for how much time has passed in-show, but we do get some indications throughout the show so i’m gonna try and lay them out (and line up some things roughly that were happening around the same time). i’m gonna break things up into seasons as we’re never given specific dates and one of our key frames of reference is gonna be Ruby’s age, as she’s introduced to us in the Red trailer at age 15, and we now know through Chibi that her birthday is the 31st of October, and from there we can roughly map out when everything takes place

everything else under the cut because obviously this got looong

~80AGW

okay so we know the Vytal Festival is held once every two years and has done since the end of the Great War, with the year the series starts being one of those years, and we’re told it’s the 40th Festival since it’s inception, so lets call this year 80AGW (After the Great War)

Winter

so we’ll start at the start - the winter of this year

only a few things happen here, namely the Red trailer/its manga adaptation by Miwa and presumably Weiss’s training with Winter in the flashback segments of the Weiss Character Short (but it’s Atlas so it could be later). the White trailer/its manga adaptation by Miwa could also potentially happen here

Spring

quite a lot happens here - so its best to bullet point from here out

White trailer/Miwa manga chapters 3 & 4 - time of year unclear, may be set not long before the start of school year as the purpose of the fight is Jacques (or rather his secretary) ‘testing’ Weiss, intending that she lose so she’ll go to Atlas Academy where Jacques can still have control over her, instead of Beacon, where she wants to go

Black trailer/Miwa manga chapters 5 & 6 - set at the same time as the flashback in 3x07 and the flashback of Blake’s V5 Character Short (that it’s set in Forever Fall doesn’t help, though 3x07 helps suggests it’s not winter and could be early spring)

Yang V5 Character Short - Yang mentions she’ll be starting at Beacon 'soon’ but evidently the two are still under the impression that Ruby will be staying at Signal this year. seems to be set around spring time

Yellow trailer/Miwa manga chapters 7, 8 & 9 - not long prior to 1x01 (as we see Roman hiring Junior’s thugs)

1x01 - not long after Yellow trailer, implied to not be very long before beginning of the semester

the assumption that these all take place in Spring is based on that during the school year we see, several months do pass and it ends in Autumn/Fall (though still before the end of October, we’ll get to that), so Spring is what makes the most sense here. now we get into the Semesters - the first semester seems to span Spring-Summer given the very temperate weather we see in Vale during this time

- Semester 1 (spring - summer)

Volume 1 - starts not long after the main events of 1x01. takes place over most of the course of this semester (episodes 2-10 being the first three days, then skipping some time further). within this, the non-Red trailer parts of manga chapters 1/2 occur, happening sometime not long after 1x10, detailing an event of Jaune getting bullied by Cardin, and Ruby fighting in the training arena for the first time (there’s a slight retcon with Ruby only deciding to wear her hood over her uniform after this event)

Summer

this semester takes place over a few months - this is when the preparations for the Vytal festival begin, and exchange students begin arriving, Ruby comments that it’s been “a few months” since she ran into Torchwick in 1x15

this episode also gives us a sense that the semesters at the other academies must occur in parallel with each other, as Cinder makes her reappearance, along with Emerald and Mercury, at the end of volume 1. we learn in volume 5 that they used Lionheart to get entrance into the tournament, and as the Haven students would notice a team they’d never met before representing them, the implication is that the posing as students was happening at Haven itself before they arrived back in Vale - this also serves as an explanation for why Cinder wasn’t directly involved in volume 1 and an in-universe explanation for why Neo wasn’t around to help Roman out, because she was the fourth teammate (and being used as blackmail against Roman no doubt) - this will be important later

a short time after 1x16, we get the flashforward at the end of chapter 6 of the Miwa manga, with Blake waking up having dreamed the events of the Black trailer and Yang getting extreme cuteness proximity over Blake’s ears

at some point following this, chapters 10-15 of the Miwa manga occur, depicting a training mission set after 1x16 (evidenced by Penny’s appearance, mention of her having been 'influenced’ by something - implied to be Ruby - and Roman scouting out the tunnels he will eventually be moving his operation into under Cinder’s orders); RWBY and JNPR fight a Grimm that fuses together 4 King Taijitu into a hydra-esque monster; said Grimm was originally living in the tunnels leading to Mountain Glenn’s undercity, and was accidentally released by Roman

- Semester 2 (summer-autumn/fall)

when the show resumed in volume 2, we’re told there’s been a minimum of a two week break since the last semester ended (Ruby mentions that “the last two weeks have been great” but that might not necessarily have been their entire holiday, for all we know Ruby and Yang went home to visit their dad)

2x01 starts the day before semester 2 starts, Ruby mentions that the tournament marking the end of the Vytal festival is at “the end of the year” as preface for how “our second semester is going to be great!”. this establishes that volumes 2 and 3 occur within the same semester (and this is going to be important later), and while yeah, there’s a season change, we know from volume 1 that semesters span ‘months’ (which does make it seem like there’s a two long semester school year and then they have winter off)

Volume 2 has a much more contained timeframe compared to volume 1, taking place over the course of a couple of weeks and Vytal festivities beginning, starting with the dance prior to first year students beginning to take on real missions around the Kingdom - it’s unclear if classes are still in session after this point for First Years (as higher year groups like CFVY are already on missions before this point)

Grimm Eclipse takes place somewhere between volumes 2 and 3, and lasts a couple of days, detailing another mission team RWBY took on (JNPR are DLC for the game, so their presence isn’t canon) against the mutant Grimm created by Dr Merlot, who also had a big hand in the destruction of Mountain Glenn (i’m just adding flavour text at this point)

Autumn/’Fall’

volume 3 wastes no time in establishing that we’re now in the tail end of the year - the leaves have turned, they’re falling, we get mention that the weather has gotten colder right before Ruby establishes that it is fall at this point

we also know that it’s happening before the end of October, as Ciel gives Ruby’s age in her profile of her and mentions that she’s 15 (and Ruby doesn’t move to correct her on that)

the volume itself is very tightly contained, with most of it taking place over the course of about 5 days (i’m gonna be using episodes as reference points but there’s some overlap)

- Day 1, 3x01 - 3x03: RWBY vs ABRN, JNPR vs BRNZ and SSSN vs NDGO and Winter arriving and Qrow causing a ruckus all happening on the same day (this also establishes that Qrow’s been on mission since at least before the volume 1 finale, as we got his message about Salem having pawns way back in 1x16)

- Day 2, 3x04: Takes place the next day, depicting the first of the doubles rounds EM vs CY, Qrow’s talk with Yang and Ruby and Winter’s talk with Weiss, and ending as Winter leaves

- Day 3, 3x05: next day, PC vs CD, WY vs FN, Cinder finds out about Penny (it’s dark outside the window in this scene compared to the next scene which is still late afternoon)

- Day 4, 3x06 - 3x07: Pyrrha gets her entire reality shattered, Yang vs Mercury later in the evening and how that all ended up

- Day 5, 3x08 - 3x12 (pre-timeskip): literally everything else happens in the same day

Ruby wakes up from her silver-eyes induced coma, implied to be a few days later

Winter

there’s a time skip in 3x12 that jumps to wintertime, when Ruby leaves with JNR to go to Haven, following Qrow’s tipoff. this means that Ruby is 16 from this point on - and she visits Summer’s grave, creating a bookend with the Red trailer. it’s unclear when exactly she left, it could’ve been December, it could’ve been as late as February, we don’t know

~81AGW

Spring

Ruby’s volume 4 character short, which features a village on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Vale (confirmed by Kerry) being attacked by Grimm, Ruby notices and goes in to clear the place - this is the earliest confirmed point in the second year of the show (as the winter sections of the volume 3 finale could still be happening in the first year, we got no clarification) but probably not too long after the volume 3 finale (although long enough for the snow to have melted) given how RNJR are still in Vale at this point, they hadn’t even left the Kingdom let alone the continent

now before we get to Summer, i just wanna point out a few things about the synchronicity of the arcs for each character in volumes 4 and 5:

the events of volume 4 for each character are actually all pretty self-contained to a few weeks (because they don’t make sense if they spanned any longer), they’re just not in sync with each other (though Yang’s and Weiss’s are close), and all appear to end not long before each character’s start in volume 5

Blake starts volume 4 having only just recently gotten on to the ship to Menagerie - it seems to be spring/summer time, given that she’s already dressed for warmer weather (and this arc ends not long before the 'present’ sections of her character short and the beginning of her section in volume 5, which is two months before the start of the Fall Semester at Haven, which further suggests summer time) and her abilities have evidently taken a leap - it’s possible the reason it’s taken so long for her to leave the continent is she’d been traveling to the eastern side of the continent on foot and then got on a ship there, which’d explain the advancement in her abilities and the necessity for the new outfit. Blake’s arc is, however, a few weeks ahead of everyone elses, with things wrapping up in Menagerie two weeks before the events at Haven which the other protags were only a few days away from

Summer

Ruby and JNR’s story starts with 4x01, where they’re helping out another village (so likely summer time, as this arc ends with them getting a lift to Mistral and Qrow recovering, with volume 5 starting not long after that, and that’s a month before the beginning of the Fall Semester)

Yang’s arc also seems to be summer time, again over the space of a few weeks (weeks are noted to have passed), and ends with a skip to her arriving in Anima, which can’t be too long before her appearance in volume 5 (which is a few weeks after 5x01 for Ruby and JNR, as Oscar notes having had the cane for 'a few weeks’ before Yang and Weiss arrive)

as mentioned Weiss’s arc was more or less parallel to Yang’s, seeming to take place over a few weeks and ending not long before where she was at the beginning of volume 5 (and she can’t have been with the bandits too long before Yang showed up - they were planning on ransoming her and she was planning on breaking out with her summon)

In 5x01, Haven is noted to not be in session a month prior to the Fall semester starting. The commentary for this volume notes that they are between semesters at this point, not school-years, thus suggesting a month-long gap (at least) between semesters

While a month passes in Ruby’s timeline by the end of this volume, two days before the Fall semester, it still appears to be Summer time, as the leaves haven’t begun to turn (Mistral is in a similar east-west lateral line as Vale and a fairly temperate climate on a mountain, the effects of Autumn should have set in by this time) - this makes sense when you remember that the semesters of the Academy school years more or less line up with each other; so the Fall semester has to line up with Beacon’s second semester, which means the battle for Haven is taking place roughly a year after volume 2′s Best Day Ever

now we move on to our latest volume, volume 6

now despite the snowy setting, only two weeks have passed in-universe, as confirmed in 6x01. the reason for the sudden climate difference is that the heroes are going from the more temperate regions of Mistral to the colder, snowier parts of the continent in the north

this also places most of the events of the volume about a year after the dance arc - just for reference, we’re still a couple months out from Ruby’s 17th birthday at least (i know Lindsay’s said on two occasions that Ruby is now seventeen, but a couple of points against that; the timeline the show gives us doesn’t support it, it’s not direct word of god and both times Lindsay was answering a question quickly, which means it’s not great confirmation as it’s hard to answer accurately when you’re on a time limit or distracted and without reference materials to confirm it)

and it’s actually pretty easy to determine this, because here’s what Patch looked like in volume 3 Fall, prior to Ruby’s birthday

and here’s how Patch looks at the beginning of the Fall semester

these are very clearly not the same time of year

volume 6 itself has a case of the main plot taking place over about 4 days (day 1, everything from the Argus Limited to finding Brunswick farms, episodes 1-5. day 2, escaping Brunswick and arriving in Argus, episodes 6-7. day 3, trying to reason with Cordovin, JNR getting caught up with the plot and Oscar disappearing and getting a new outfit, episodes 8-10. day 4 - which could be a few days later, but not necessary - pretty much the rest of the volume and ending with arriving in Atlas that night) and then other plots going on at different times

- Adam’s slaughter of the remaining White Fang is some point in the two week time skip, as we see him with his new blindfold - it’s hard to see under the hood but you can see it - during the Argus Limited attack, presumably he just waited in Argus for Blake to show up again, as his appearance in 6x07 was a hallucination, as evidenced by his vol 1-3 outfit and mask

- Cinder arrives in Little Miss Malachite’s territory a month after the Battle of Haven, already a few weeks behind the team, and she’s attacked by and forms an alliance with Neo a week later. their progress involves trekking back to Haven and then stealing an airship, so it’s difficult to pinpoint where they are timelinewise right now

- everything with Salem and the other villains happens at some point in between these two events, as by process of elimination, Hazel was ‘the big guy’ asking after RWBY that Little Miss’s bodyguard mentioned having arrived a week prior - as this is pretty much the only way he’d know that Ozpin’s taking the lamp to Atlas

#RWBY #long post

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sand-rose · 5 years

Note

Right back at you for all the ocs! I especially love the name apocothea (I think I spelled it right?) Its super cool!!

Thank you so much!! :) Sorry this took awhile to answer, I’ve been busy with work and other stuff. But here they are! I was actually in the process of redesigning my OCs when I saw the post (thanks to Sims inspiration and wanting to update how I draw them), so it was perfect timing! I don’t have the drawings done yet but maybe soon…

Full Name: Pandora

Gender & Sexuality: Female, Pansexual (yes, punny, but also serious)

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: my Balanced Ego

Birthplace & Birthdate: my mind, August 10

Guilty Pleasures: She loves taking bubble baths. Bring on the bath bombs and fragrant soaps, and the (pink) rubber ducky is a must! She also loves stuffed animals (especially pandas). And it surprises a lot of people, but she’s also an avid fan of anime/manga and video games.

Phobias: Accidentally losing one of her earrings, which keep her balanced. She’s particularly afraid of what she might do if this happens, because she loses control of herself and becomes truly evil. A past experience in regards to this also makes her uncomfortable around sheep. (Even toys or drawings of sheep. She will get a flashback and start sobbing, apologizing to the ‘poor sheepies’ until they’re out of sight.)

What They Would Be Famous For: Probably owning the only fashion-themed amusement park in the Ego World, or her fashion designs.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Being a public nuisance, like getting too hyper and making too much noise. Because honestly, if someone told her to shut up she would only get louder to spite them. She’s not afraid to get in a fight though, so maybe that too… Maybe for throwing a heel at someone. lol

OC You Ship Them With: Reim. He’s much calmer than her, but loves her crazy antics.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: It. He gets along with Pan better than Aurora, but he can only take so much of her 'hyper hyper happy happy joy joy’ personality.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: romance and rom-coms. The blossoming love between two people! The heartbreaking 'is this it?’ fights! The oblivious misunderstandings! Burnt dinners! The hand holding, the hugs, the kisses…! (You get it.)

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: When everything turns out to be a dream. Her Host loves this cliche. She hates it because 'what was the point of it all if it never really happened?!’

Talents and/or Powers: She’s a talented fashion designer. She likes to draw, like her Host, but when she became interested in clothes when she was younger she was frustrated that she couldn’t wear the clothes she drew. So she learned how to sew and began making her own clothes. She’s also very imaginative and ambitious.

Why Someone Might Love Them: She’s fun to be around, always a bouncing ball of energy! She likes pretty things, and considers everyone around her to be pretty in their own way. She’s the person who will convince you to try that new thing, or who will say 'Let’s go somewhere, my treat!’ when she sees you need cheering up. She’s also ready to kick ass if anyone dares hurt her friends or loved ones.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s so hyper… Some people might find her hyperness endearing, but some people find it exhausting. She’s also had people judge her before based on her girly-ness, interest in fashion, and how she looks like a typical anime girl, but she doesn’t let it bother her.

How They Change: She hasn’t changed all that much since I first created her back in middle school. She’s grown a lot more mature emotionally, I think, and she’s more careful about other people’s feelings.

Why You Love Them: She was the last of my Egos to be created, and she’s probably the best representation of who I wish I was. She’s daring, outspoken, bubbly, made a career for herself doing something she loves… I love her because even though that’s not me and probably never will be me, I still like to think that she’s cheering me on. “Don’t be afraid! You can do it!” lol

Full Name: It

Gender & Sexuality: Male, not sure (he’s never given it much thought)

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: my Alter Ego

Birthplace & Birthdate: my mind, October 31

Guilty Pleasures: He has a collection of weird t-shirts that he’s both bought and designed himself. He also has a collection of light sabers that he may or may not have bought off the Ego World’s black market that trades in Other World (Worlds of Licensed Series) objects…

Phobias: Becoming a soft goody two-shoes like Aurora… Gag.

What They Would Be Famous For: Nothing. He’s too lazy to really stand out much. And he’s fine with that.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Disrupting the peace. He’s got a temper, and when it flares he’s liable to kick/hit any object unlucky enough to be in his way. Be it a trash can, car, mailbox… He’s broken his toes for kicking a brick wall before. He’s also got problems with authority figures since he doesn’t like being told what to do, so if the police show up it would just escalate the situation. There was also the time he bombed Aurora’s house, but that was years ago, when he was jealous he wasn’t my only Ego anymore. He was a lot more evil back then, and Aurora (being the kind soul she is and understanding how he felt) didn’t press charges.

OC You Ship Them With: Apocothea. She keeps him in check and doesn’t put up with his crap, yet somehow sees the… best… in him…?

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Pandora. She gets fed up with his gloomy outlook on life and gets cranky when he gives her attitude. They get into lots of arguments over nothing, especially with their quick tempers.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Horror/Suspense. He likes movies with lots of jumpscares, gore, and freaky nightmarish scenarios. They get his blood pumping and while he’s not that evil enough to enjoy people getting hurt, he likes to think about what he would do if he was trapped in that house trying to escape the serial killer. And of course, though he’s not a clown or even named after said clown, he likes Stephen King novels.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: It was love at first sight. He doesn’t believe in it, and if he sees that cliche he skips a few minutes past it or turns a few pages ahead, hopefully to a less mushy scene.

Talents and/or Powers: He’s great at video games. He actually earns money by playing video games for people who get stuck on them. They send him the game, he plays past the part they got stuck on to the next save, he sends it back. He’s been debating lately if he should start livestreaming, but his laziness in acquiring the equipment and setting up a room for it is currently holding him back.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s… It. lol He’s an Alter Ego who by all means should be trying to take over the world and plotting evil deeds, but either due to his laziness or from the influence of those closest to him, he just isn’t that into it. He’s just a cranky man that loves to kick over trash cans in my Sims game. lol

Why Someone Might Hate Them: He rubs a lot of people the wrong way, and with good reason. He’s not very social not because he’s shy but because he hates people in general. He comes off as rude when you first meet him, and he likes to glare for no reason. (He probably thinks it makes him look tough.) Honestly it’s a wonder people like him.

How They Change: He’s changed quite a bit since I first created him in middle school! He’s probably the most changed of all my OCs. At first he started out as a wolf demon, but after a few weeks he became my Alter Ego in a human form and stayed that way. He still has fangs, they’re just smaller. They serve no purpose, he just looks good with them! He’s also not as evil as he used to be, but like I said, I like to think that Pan and Aurora are a good influence on him.

Why You Love Them: He was my very first Ego! Way back in 6th grade I used to write and draw my own stories and share them with friends, and he got a pretty good response from them and they wanted to hear more about him. I wrote conversations between me (the Host) and him during free time in class and my friends loved reading them, and it kind of took off from there. Aurora was created next, then Pandora, and even though they were fictional characters I’d made up they started to feel like a second family to me. And they still do! lol

Full Name: Aurora

Gender & Sexuality: Female, Straight

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: my Good Ego

Birthplace & Birthdate: my mind, February 23

Guilty Pleasures: She likes knitting and has so much yarn she doesn’t know what to do with it. She spoils her cat Cupcake with so many toys she doesn’t know what to do with them all. She has so many recipe books she doesn’t know what to do with them all. She’s actually a very neat person though, so another guilty pleasure would probably be cleaning. lol

Phobias: Heights, needles, and spiders (like her Host). I feel bad she shares my phobias. (Sorry, Aurora!) She’s also afraid of sharks, ever since she watched Jaws years ago and had nightmares for a week about them. She knows it's not good to be afraid of sharks and they get a bad rep, so she's trying to overcome that fear.

What They Would Be Famous For: Her cookies! She owns a bakery and while her cakes, brownies, and cupcakes are delicious, it’s her cookies that rake in the most dough. (Ha.) Every customer has their favorite, but hers is her creamy peanut butter cookies. They’re so soft and chewy, and she sprinkles peanut bits in so there’s a little crunch too!

What They Would Get Arrested For: The day Aurora gets arrested for anything is the day the world ends. She’s too pure, too innocent, to do anything resulting in arrest. She apologizes to insects when she has to capture them before setting them free! She gives away too many free samples at her bakery! She cries when she accidentally forgets to water a plant and it dies! If she ever gets arrested for anything, Pan and It may legit seek revenge to restore her honor…

OC You Ship Them With: Marcus. He’s sweet, she’s sweet! Their relationship might be normal and therefore a little boring to some people, but they love each other and are happy just to be together. They’re like an old married couple. lol

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Not a single soul. Not even It. (Anymore.) She’s too kind for this world. An angel!

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Generally anything except horror and war movies. She gets too nervous and scared watching horror, and gets too emotional watching battles with people fighting and dying. She tends to like comedies the most though, since they’re usually upbeat and make her laugh. She’s also a sucker for heartwarming stories. Those Chicken Soup for the Soul books? She’s probably got the whole collection, regardless of the intended audience.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: 'I had to do it. I had to kill them.’ She refuses to believe that killing is the only option no matter how dire a situation might be and will visibly get upset when she comes across this cliche. When she gets upset her face reddens and her lip wobbles, and if Marcus or Pan is with her she might rant to them about all the other options the protagonist had.

Talents and/or Powers: She is excellent at cooking, but baking is her specialty! If she’s mastered a recipe, she’ll master it again until it’s even better. And if she finds a new recipe, she will pull an all-nighter until she’s perfected it.

Why Someone Might Love Them: She’s such a sweetheart, bless her. She’s what the world needs more of: just honestly pure, good people. She’s the person who if she came across someone in need, she would give them everything she had. If you’re feeling down, she’ll do all she can to make you happy again. She’s definitely the mom friend.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Some might consider her too good. Like It. He gets annoyed when she does things out of the kindness of her heart for no reason. He just doesn’t understand how someone can be that selfless. He thinks of her as a crybaby and she worries a lot, so that irritates him too. And others might be suspicious of her at first, wondering what she’s hiding or what she wants. But once people get to know her, they adore her and look to her for advice if they need help. Or just want free food. lol

How They Change: She’s probably the one who has changed the least. She’s always been the angel on my shoulder, the do-gooder. Someone has to keep the peace with the other two Egos around, after all.

Why You Love Them: Aurora is the one who resembles me the most, both in terms of looks and personality. There are some differences, though. She’s not shy, just quiet and reserved. She’s more comfortable with confrontations than I am, especially if it’s a matter of right vs wrong. I don’t have a problem with horror and war stuff. I wish I knew how to cook/bake. And I don’t think I could ever be as selfless as her. Basically, she’s a goody goody two-shoes, like It says. But it’s not a bad thing!

Full Name: Reim

Gender & Sexuality: Male, Bisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Ego Entity

Birthplace & Birthdate: Ego World (specifically the city Venia), April 14

Guilty Pleasures: talking to his plants, liking movies that everyone else hates, singing in the shower, and he also enjoys the occasional bubble bath (thanks to Pan convincing him he was missing out on life if he didn’t take one now and then) (she was right)

Phobias: Moths. When he was little a big one got caught in his hair and he accidentally smashed it trying to get it out. It was messy and gross.

What They Would Be Famous For: Hopefully for his paintings! He does all kinds of paintings, and has even had a few displayed in art shows. He likes doing landscape art the best, because he loves plants and nature.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Not that he’s looking to get arrested, but he’s secretly always wanted to experiment with graffiti…

OC You Ship Them With: Pandora. Just when he thinks he knows her, she surprises him and he loves it! She makes him see how exciting and fun life is, and she’s always encouraging him with his latest art project and boasting about his paintings to her friends.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Probably It. It and Reim don’t see eye to eye a lot… Reim’s pretty optimistic, and that clashes with It’s pessimism. They don’t exactly hate each other, but they get on each other’s nerves. “You threw off my groove!” “Fuck your groove!” Yatta yatta…

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: He loves animated movies. As an artist, he really appreciates them and considers them art, so he’s constantly rewinding scenes because he was focusing on the style or shading instead of what was going on. As for books, he likes fantasy. He likes escaping to another world, and fantasy can be anything and everything, just like a painting.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Not really a typical cliche but… He really hates noir style stuff. Noir movies annoy him to no end because there’s no color and he wishes he could restore the color so bad. He needs color! And when people talk noir style, with the witty and flirtatious old-fashioned banter. It’s just so cheesy to him… This extends to books as well. He prefers deep conversations between characters rather than quick one-liners.

Talents and/or Powers: He’s an artist, so he’s well-rounded in a variety of mediums. Painting, drawing, sculptures, photography… He enjoys painting the most though!

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s a down-to-earth guy that has his goals set and has a plan to achieve them. He knows what he wants in life and he also knows not to get his hopes up. He does hope his dreams come true, but if not he’s got plenty of back up plans. He’s just a nice guy in general, always ready to lift the mood with a joke or a grin.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: For people like It, optimistic people can be annoying. No matter the situation, Reim looks on the bright side of things and his pleasant attitude and charming smile can make It angry. Because life sucks, and It knows it, but apparently Reim doesn’t. Reim’s not optimistic all the time, however, and he does have days where he’s a little moody or depressed, but he tends to keep to himself those days (so of course It doesn’t know that).

How They Change: Reim started out as a painting I did my senior year, so I thought it fitting to give him the painter career in my Sims game. Until that point I didn’t know much about him but watching him interact with my other characters has helped me flesh out what kind of person he is. He looked more emo and brooding in the painting, but in Sims he’s a cheerful guy who enjoys life, so I like that change in him.

Why You Love Them: He’s the character I didn’t know was going to be created. But I’m glad I did that painting of him years ago! Before I made him in Sims, I wanted to do more with his character and knew I wanted him with Pandora, but that was about it. Originally Pan was with someone else from an Other World, and for reasons it didn’t work out, but I think she and Reim are a perfect match. They balance each other out.

Full Name: Apocothea

Gender & Sexuality: Female, Demisexual

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: Ego Entity

Birthplace & Birthdate: Ego World (specifically outside the town Abraxxus), November 2

Guilty Pleasures: Obsessed with Itachi from Naruto, so she has a collection of Itachi merchandise that shouldn’t even exist (her father knows people). She loves anime/manga and video games, and rock/heavy metal music. She also enjoys fan fiction (smut included, but she is picky about it).

Phobias: This woman has no fear. You should be the one afraid.

What They Would Be Famous For: Not exactly famous, but her old classmates still remember the day the teacher was late and Apocothea calmly walked up to the front of the class and announced the teacher had been in a horrible accident and she was in charge now. She spoke with such authority that no one questioned her, and she proceeded to pass out copies of the 'worst fan fiction she had ever read’ for them to read and critique. It turned out that the teacher had been in a car accident (from speeding), and when the principal delivered the news everyone turned to her in fear. Of course she hadn’t really known… She just saw an opportunity and took it. She needed beta readers for her first fic, after all.

What They Would Get Arrested For: She’s too clever to get herself arrested. Anyone who leaves fingerprints and DNA samples is a Class-A moron. But if she did get arrested, somehow, it would probably be for making the police officer feel like an idiot. Or she would just ignore them and do the opposite of what they ordered her to do out of pure spite. Challenging authority and whatnot.

OC You Ship Them With: It. She wins all the arguments, basically, but they’re stupid arguments to begin with. They bicker back and forth, but it’s from love(?). I don’t know… Their relationship is kind of hard to explain. lol There’s not a lot of typical romance between them, but they do have their moments that say 'Yeah, they’re a couple alright!’

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Nobody’s brave enough to even try murdering her. She’d murder them first.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Like It, she enjoys horror. Except where he’s the guy to think 'what would I do if I was trapped in a house with a serial killer?’, she’s the girl who thinks, 'If I was the serial killer, I’d go after them this way… That guy’s an asshole, anyway.’ She also likes murder mystery novels, but she’s always disappointed when she figures out who the killer is halfway through the book.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: 'The chosen one will save us!’ She doesn’t buy into the whole 'only this person can do it’ trope. Really? Only that person? But he’s an idiot. What if he dies? Then what? Guess the world ends.

Talents and/or Powers: I guess you could say her skill at Guitar Hero is a talent. She’s undefeated with all the Guitar Hero games (every mode, even expert). Other than that, she’s very talented at pretty much anything and everything, but especially at making people feel uncomfortable and fragile in her presence.

Why Someone Might Love Them: If you can get past her intimidating exterior, she’s a pretty cool gal. She’s kind of like Hana-chan from Fruits Basket… The things she says can come off as strange and threatening, but if you become her friend she would quite literally kill for you. She also has a younger sister named Analyse, and you can definitely tell they’re sisters from the way they look and talk.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s very blunt, and if she doesn’t like you she won’t hold back on insults. Lots of people get offended when she does this, but that’s kind of the point. She can also be crafty in the way she talks to people, so sometimes they’re really not sure if she’s insulting them or complimenting them.

How They Change: She’s changed just a little since I created her. Her relationship with It before was very one-sided, and she liked toying with him. She still likes to, actually, but it’s more affectionate now. She’s always been confident and in charge, but I think being with It has taught her that a relationship requires more teamwork and less blackmail.

Why You Love Them: Again, she’s one of those characters that displays traits I wish I had. She’s not afraid to be assertive, she loves herself for who she is, and doesn’t give a damn what other people think of her. And she gives off this vibe, like you really don’t want to trust that smile she’s wearing. Her calm but menacing demeanor really compliments It’s personality too, I think. He’s fire, she’s ice!

Full Name: Marcus

Gender & Sexuality: Male, Straight

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Ego Entity

Birthplace & Birthdate: Ego World (specifically a suburban area named Hannen), March 27

Guilty Pleasures: watching YouTube/EgoTube videos, memes, taking internet quizzes… And surprising Aurora on a regular basis with flowers and chocolate like the romantic sap he is!

Phobias: Puking and cuts on the skin. When he’s sick he gets very agitated and nervous and will refuse to eat solid food in case he can’t keep it down. (Soup and water only, basically.) With cuts, it’s not the blood he fears but the sensation of skin splitting. It stems from when he was a teenager and got a deep cut on his knee. Little nicks while shaving are no biggie, but papercuts make him lightheaded and make his skin crawl.

What They Would Be Famous For: He’s a very relaxed guy who honestly doesn’t stand out much, but his friends know him as the tech guy. Computer or game console acting up? Marcus knows how to fix it. TV or phone bugging out? Call Marcus, he’s your guy.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Like Aurora, he would never get arrested for anything. He’s too nice to do anything like property damage or fighting, and he’s never gotten a ticket for anything in his life.

OC You Ship Them With: Aurora. They’re so precious together, too good, too sweet! They dote on each other and probably unintentionally make other couples jealous. lol

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: It. Another goody goody two-shoes frustrates him even more than one. The only thing It appreciates about Marcus is that he’s not above using swear words (unlike Aurora). And maybe the fact that he’s willing to fix It’s laptop and game systems for free.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: He really likes documentaries and informational books. He’s always interested in learning something new, and he’d much rather watch an hour-long documentary on EBS than watch the newest hit movie. He was the kid in school who always read the assigned Literature, Real World History & Ego World History, and Science books for fun.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: He doesn’t like when a side character you grew attached to suddenly dies. They make you care about them, only to kill them off! What the hell?

Talents and/or Powers: Talented with fixing all things tech. He does claim it’s his superpower! lol

Why Someone Might Love Them: When you find a genuinely nice guy who cares a lot about you, you struck gold! Aurora loves his soft, sensitive side when he’s alone with her and also loves his corny jokes. People in general like how laid back he is, as he’s very patient and knows everybody makes mistakes. He’s the guy who will walk an old lady across the street if she needs help, the guy who literally climbed a tree to get a cat out of it (sneaky little Cupcake!). Nice guys do exist, and he’s one of the best!

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Again… There’s people like It. They get annoyed with the whole 'nice guy act’, especially once they learn it’s not an act at all but just how he is. They might get jealous when they see how much other people like him, but more often than not they come around, especially after he helps them with something and expects nothing in return.

How They Change: His character hasn’t changed much, either. He’s thoughtful, kind, cheerful… He’s popular with everyone he hangs out with, because he gets along with pretty much everyone. He’s polite, open to new things and opinions, and though he admits he might be a little boring to be around he also doesn’t mind. Such a great guy!

Why You Love Them: He and Aurora are a pair of cinnamon rolls, too sweet, too pure for this world! Even though I created him long before I met Alex, he reminds me of him. lol Marcus is the perfect example for how you should treat your loved ones, and anyone you meet, really. He’s like the Mr. Rogers of the gang, I guess you could say. He just wants everybody to respect each other and be kind to themselves and others.

Sorry if this got super long, I just really love these characters. lol Also! When I was reading your OC post I found it really cool that some of our characters have birthdays either on the same day or really close, that made me smile! :D

Thanks so much for the ask again!!

#egos #my ocs

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your-dietician · 3 years

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Breakthroughs from the tennis court to the Supreme Court

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/tennis/breakthroughs-from-the-tennis-court-to-the-supreme-court/

Breakthroughs from the tennis court to the Supreme Court

From the first U.S. Supreme Court ruling to address homosexuality to the first bisexual “Bachelorette,” here are 10 historic LGBTQ milestones from around the world.

Kathy Kozachenko

First out gay person elected to office in the U.S.

Kathy Kozachenko holds a photo of her son and her partner at her home in Pittsburgh in 2015.Chris Goodney / Bloomberg via Getty Images

Three years before Harvey Milk was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, out lesbian Kathy Kozachenko was voted onto the Ann Arbor City Council in Michigan on April 2, 1974.

Kozachenko was just 21 and a student at the University of Michigan, a hotbed of anti-war protests and activism supporting racial justice, women’s rights and other causes.

Her sexual orientation didn’t seem to be an issue with voters, and “gay liberation was not a major issue in the campaign,” Kozachenko said in her victory speech, Bloomberg reported.

“This year we talked about rent control. We talked about the city’s budget. We talked about police priorities, and we had a record of action to run on,” she said at the time.

Kozachenko only served one two-year term and eventually moved to Pittsburgh, where she remained involved in gay activism and met her longtime partner, MaryAnn Geiger.

“I am so proud of all the activists that came after me,” Kozachenko told NBC News last year. “The people that pushed and pushed and pushed for gay marriage, the transgender people that have pushed for their rights … I’m grateful for the chance that I was able to play a small part in this.”

‘Wings’ (1927)

First male-male kiss in a Hollywood movie

Charles “Buddy” Rogers and Richard Arlen during the filming of “Wings” in 1927.Hulton Archive / Getty Images

William A. Wellman’s silent film “Wings,” the first movie to win the Academy Award for best picture, follows Jack (Charles Rogers) and David (Richard Arlen) as they enlist in the Army Air Service during World War I and bond during basic training before being shipped off to France.

While they’re ostensibly romantic rivals for “it girl” Clara Bow, neither “shows as much love for her … as they do for each other,” queer writer Kevin Sessums wrote, according to the LGBT History Project blog.

In the pre-Hays Code film’s climax, Jack accidentally shoots down David, who has commandeered a German biplane. Running to his dying friend’s side, Jack takes David in his arms and begs forgiveness. As the camera zooms in, the two stroke each other’s hair tenderly and Jack declares, “You know there is nothing in the world that means so much to me as your friendship.”

The men share a lingering closed-lip kiss before Jack takes his final breath.

“While the relationship is referred to repeatedly as a friendship, the acting and directing of the film make it obvious that the men’s feelings were romantic,” wrote culture critic and curator Francesca Seravalle. “A swell of romantic string instruments plays in the background as Jack mourns over Dave’s still body. The directing choices made by Wellman humanized both characters and allowed the audience to experience the tragedy without exploiting the perceived exoticness of a relationship between two men.”

One, Inc. v. Olesen

First U.S. Supreme Court ruling to address homosexuality

Founded in 1952, ONE, Inc. was one of the earliest gay rights organizations in the United States and the first to have its own offices.

An accompanying magazine, One Magazine, started publication in 1953 — selling through subscriptions and at Los Angeles newsstands — and is considered the first mass-produced gay publication in America.

In October 1954, L.A. Postmaster Otto K. Olesen refused to deliver the magazine, declaring it “obscene, lewd, lascivious and filthy.” ONE sued but lost the case and a subsequent appeal — a panel of federal judges declared “Sappho Remembered,” a lesbian love story that ran in one issue, “nothing more than cheap pornography calculated to promote lesbianism.”

Founding editors Dale Jennings and Don Slater appealed all the way to the Supreme Court, which, surprisingly, agreed to hear their case.

On Jan. 13, 1958, without even hearing oral arguments, the justices issued a terse, one-line ruling reversing the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals decision and affirming that the mere subject of homosexuality was not obscene.

In a Washington Post op-ed in 2014, Brookings Institution fellow Jonathan Rauch called One, Inc. v Olesen “the seminal gay rights case in America — the one that extended First Amendment protection to gay-related speech.”

Marcia Kadish & Tanya McCloskey

First same-sex couple legally married in the United States

Marcia Kadish, left, and Tanya McCloskey after being pronounced wife and wife at Cambridge City Hall in Massachusetts on May 17, 2004.Dina Rudick / Boston Globe via Getty Images

On Nov. 18, 2003, Massachusetts became the first state to recognize same-sex marriage when, in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, the state Supreme Court ruled it could not “deny the protections, benefits, and obligations conferred by civil marriage to two individuals of the same sex who wish to marry.”

“Recognizing the right of an individual to marry a person of the same sex will not diminish the validity or dignity of opposite-sex marriage,” wrote Chief Justice Margaret Marshall, “any more than recognizing the right of an individual to marry a person of a different race devalues the marriage of a person who marries someone of her own race.”

The first licenses were issued on May 17, 2004, and McCloskey and Kadish, who had already been together nearly 20 years at that point, picked theirs up a few minutes after midnight. With a waiver that allowed them to skip the traditional three-day waiting period, the women exchanged vows later that morning at Cambridge City Hall.

“We felt we were married already,” Kadish told NPR’s “Morning Edition” in 2019. “This was just making it legal.”

At least 78 same-sex couples married in Massachusetts that day — the same day President George W. Bush called for a congressional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

“The sacred institution of marriage should not be redefined by a few activist judges,” Bush said in a statement. “All Americans have a right to be heard in this debate.”

It wasn’t until 2015 that McCloskey and Kadish’s union was recognized federally, when the U.S. Supreme Court effectively made same-sex marriage the law of the land in Obergefell v. Hodges.

By that time, McCloskey had been diagnosed with endometrial cancer. The disease spread quickly, and she died on Jan. 6, 2016.

“We wanted to lead by example, not that we were leaders of anything,” Kadish told NPR. “We just wanted to make sure that the world saw the most positive side of being a gay couple.”

While Kadish and McCloskey were the first same-sex couple legally wed in the U.S., a marriage license mistakenly issued to gay couple Michael McConnell and Jack Baker back in 1971 was retroactively validated in 2019, making them the longest-married same-sex couple in the world.

Chicago’s Gay Liberation March

First gay pride march

One day before the first Christopher Street Liberation Day march in New York, the Windy City hosted the world’s first Pride march on June 27, 1970 — albeit a much smaller one than the Big Apple’s. The half-mile procession officially went from Washington Square Park to the Water Tower at the bustling intersection of Chicago and Michigan avenues, but many participants continued down to the Civic Center plaza (now Daley Plaza).

Once there, about 150 people listened to speeches at the plaza before doing a “chain dance around the Picasso statue as the marchers shouted, ‘Gay power to gay people,’” the Chicago Tribune reported.

Chicago Gay Liberation, which organized the event, chose the date because the Stonewall uprising had started on the last Saturday in June the year prior. The members also wanted to reach the biggest crowd of shoppers on Chicago’s Magnificent Mile.

Today, the Chicago Pride Parade takes place on the last Sunday of June, drawing more than 800,000 people to North Halsted Street, long known as “Boystown.”

Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir

First out LGBTQ prime minister

Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir speaks with the media after winning the elections on April 25, 2009 in Reykjavik. Olivier Morin / AFP via Getty Images

While gay finance minister Per-Kristian Foss was briefly in charge of Norway in 2002 when both the prime minister and foreign minister were traveling abroad, Iceland’s Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir is the world’s first openly LGBTQ elected head of state.

A former flight attendant, Jóhanna was first elected to the Althingi (Iceland’s parliament) in 1978 as part of the Social Democratic Party. Throughout her career, she has also served as deputy speaker of the Althingi, vice chair of the SDP and minister of social affairs.

On Feb. 1, 2009, Jóhanna was formally sworn in as Iceland’s first female prime minister and the first out LGBTQ world leader in modern history. She served from 2009 to 2013, steering the country’s economy “back on solid footing” after the massive financial crisis, according to Britannica, with the country’s GDP growing 3 percent in both 2011 and 2012.

She and girlfriend Jónína Leósdóttir entered into a civil union in 2002. In 2010, when Iceland recognized same-sex marriage midway through Jóhanna’s tenure, the pair became one the first same-sex married couples in the country.

Society for Human Rights

First officially recognized gay rights group in the U.S.

German immigrant Henry Gerber launched the Society for Human Rights out of his Chicago home in 1924 and received an official charter from the state of Illinois, making it the first incorporated group devoted to gay rights in the U.S.

The society’s publication, Friendship and Freedom, is believed to be the first American publication for gay people.

Stationed in his former homeland during World War I, Gerber witnessed Berlin’s thriving gay subculture and was influenced by the work of pioneering sex researcher Magnus Hirschfeld.

Returning to the States, he took a job with the post office and founded the society out of his apartment at 1710 N. Crilly Court in Chicago’s Old Town Triangle neighborhood.

But the organization lasted less than a year, disbanding in 1925 after police raids on both a member’s home and Gerber’s apartment. Gerber was fired from the post office and eventually moved to New York, where he continued advocating for gay rights until his death in 1972.

In 2015, Gerber’s Chicago home was designated a National Historic Landmark by the National Park Service.

Renée Richards

First transgender tennis player to compete in the U.S. Open

Dr. Renée Richards reaches for a backhanded return during a match with Australia’s Lesley Hunt in the $100,000 Women’s Professional Tennis Tournament at Walter Brown Arena.Bettmann / Bettmann Archive

Renée Richards was set to play in the 1976 U.S. Open until officials learned she was assigned male at birth and attempted to ban her from competing.

Richards had been a tennis prodigy from a young age, playing in the men’s Open several times and even making the semifinals in 1972. A successful ophthalmologist, she medically transitioned in 1975 and began living as Renée Richards (the name Renée meaning “reborn”).

She kept a fairly low profile — entering a 1976 competition as Renée Clark — but her transition was “outed” in a local news report by San Diego reporter Dick Carlson, father of Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson. Fans rooted against her, with shirts reading “Go away, Renee,” and late-night talk show hosts made crude jokes.

When Richards entered the Tennis Week Open in 1976, 25 of the 32 women in the competition withdrew.

To keep Richards off the court, the United States Tennis Association started demanding a chromosome test for all female players. She challenged that policy in a case that went before the New York Supreme Court.

Mirroring arguments made by groups seeking to ban transgender athletes today, the USTA argued it was trying to maintain “fairness” in the face of “as many as 10,000 transsexuals in the United States and many more female impersonators or imposters” who would be eager to snatch “millions of dollars of prize money.”

Billie Jean King, who had played doubles with Richards, testified that she “does not enjoy physical superiority or strength so as to have an advantage over women competitors in the sport of tennis.”

In a landmark victory, the court ruled in Richards’ favor.

“When an individual such as plaintiff, a successful physician, a husband and father, finds it necessary for [her] own mental sanity to undergo a sex reassignment, the unfounded fears and misconceptions of defendants must give way to the overwhelming medical evidence that this person is now female,” Judge Alfred Ascione wrote in the majority opinion.

Two weeks later, Richards played in the 1977 U.S. Open, where she lost to Wimbledon champ Virginia Wade in the first round. She did reach the doubles finals with Betty Ann Stuart, but the pair lost to Betty Stöve and a fiery new upstart named Martina Navratilova.

Four years later, Renée Richards retired from professional tennis at age 47. She continued her thriving ophthalmology practice and even coached Navratilova to two wins at Wimbledon.

Karl M. Baer

First person to surgically transition

Born in 1885 to a Jewish family in Arolsen, Germany, Baer was assigned female at birth, though the midwife told his father the baby’s body had “such strange” characteristics it was impossible to determine the gender.

In his 1907 autobiography, “Memoirs of a Man’s Maiden Years,” published under the pseudonym N.O. Body, Baer wrote about being ostracized at school and feeling ill at ease in his assigned sex.

While he is often referred to as transgender, today Baer would more accurately be considered intersex.

“I was born as a boy and raised as a girl,” he wrote. “One may raise a healthy boy in as womanish manner as one wishes and a female creature in as mannish; never will this cause their senses to remain forever reversed.”

In 1904, Baer moved to Hamburg to work as a social worker with the Jewish organization B’nai Brith. It was there that he began living as a man.

“I introduced myself as a man, never as a woman,” Baer wrote. “What am I really? Am I a man? Oh God, no. It would be an indescribable delight if I were. But miracles don’t happen anymore these days.”

Two years later, Baer was in a trolley accident in Berlin. He was rushed to the hospital, where doctors realized his ID listed him as female despite his presenting as male. They connected him with Magnus Hirschfeld, who diagnosed him as “a man who was mistakenly identified as a woman.”

With a permit from the Prussian Interior Ministry, Baer underwent a multistage gender confirmation procedure, Haaretz reported, though the exact details of the surgery are unknown. He was released from the hospital in December 1906 with a medical certificate identifying him as male. The following year, court clerks in Arolsen issued him a new birth certificate.

Others had transitioned socially before, but Baer “was unusual in that he used medical technology and surgical means to change his gender,” transgender historian Iris Rachamimov told Haaretz.

Brooke Blurton

First bisexual “Bachelorette”

Brooke Blurton on June 19, 2019 in Perth, Australia.Faith Moran / GC Images

Since “The Bachelor” debuted on ABC in 2002, the marital-minded franchise has spawned multiple spinoff series and over 30 international editions. But it wasn’t until the upcoming season seven of “The Bachelorette Australia” that producers tapped an out member of the LGBTQ community to headline the show: 26-year-old Brooke Blurton, who is bisexual.

For the first time in the franchise’s history, the star will choose among both men and women during the rose ceremony.

“I am not too sure if Australia is ready for it,” Blurton, who previously appeared on the Down Under versions of “The Bachelor” and “Bachelor in Paradise,” told The Daily Telegraph. “I certainly am. If it makes people feel uncomfortable in any way, I really challenge them to think about why it does.”

Blurton, a Noongar Yamatji woman from Western Australia, will also be the first Indigenous woman on the show.

“We are a nation of people from so many different backgrounds, so many different cultures and so many different experiences, yet we all have one thing in common — we all want to be loved in a way that is meaningful to us,” “Bachelorette” host Osher Günsberg said in a statement. “I can’t wait to get started on helping our Bachelorette Brooke find that kind of love.”

In the U.S., former “Bachelor” star Colton Underwood came out as gay in April, two years after appearing on the series’ 23rd season.

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wordsaremybestfriends · 6 years

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Didn’t Ask For This: Chapter 2

Hey friends! Here’s a chapter as long as my current list of responsibilities that I am always avoiding. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Cursing, child abuse, vocal abuse, violence, *TELL ME IF YOU FIND ANYTHING ELSE*

**something went wonky when i copied and pasted it here, so i apologize in advance for any errors!

The sound of a key scratching it’s way into the lock instantly perked Dustin up. His sister’s mostly exhausted form slumped through the front door, her characteristic purple and gray cardigan slightly falling off her shoulders, and her bag dragging behind her. The jeans she was wearing were smeared with ink and her brunette curls were mostly falling out of her bun atop her head. With a tired sigh, she noticed Dustin sitting on the couch, obviously waiting for her return home. A groan escaped her lips as she shuffled inside, locking the door behind her. “Dusty, it’s midnight. You should be in bed, you’ve got school tomorrow.”

“I know, I know, but Em, I found something while I was out trick-or-treating-”

“How was that?” She asked, a smile on her face. She let her exhausted body slip onto the couch beside him, tossing her feet onto his lap. “Did you get a lot of three musketeers?”

He shook his head, the curls bouncing atop his head. “Yes, but that’s besides the point! I found something in the trash, and I don’t know what it is, and I want you to help me!”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Dustin, I just spent six hours in a silent library reading about the left and right brain. My fingers are covered with glue from trying to repair old books, and I think my head might explode in the next five minutes if I don’t take a shower and sleep. Can’t it wait till the morning?”

“You are not going to want to wait until morning,” Her younger brother said, tossing her feet away to stand off the couch. “Please Emma, it’ll only take five minutes!”

Her brown eyes locked on her brother’s, and instead of the typical toothless smile he had mostly grown up with, his eyes were sad and lip jutted out. The pure pitiful look of him was enough to make Emma’s heart fall. He was her weakness, and he knew it.

“Well…” She murmured. “Let me shower first, okay? I smell like Mrs. White’s old perfume.”

“Perfect!” The boy almost shouted as he ran into his room, slamming the door shut. It was a miracle their mother hadn’t woken up yet, but Emma could do without her mother’s prying questions tonight.

Only twenty minutes had passed before Emma emerged from the bathroom, hair clean and skin moisturized. She wore an oversized shirt from a thrift store run a few months ago, with a pair of long pajama pants. With her rambunctious brunette waves tied in a bun atop her head, she knocked on Dustin’s door quietly.

As soon as the door opened, her younger brother started spouting out words like ‘amphibian’ and ‘reptilian’, latching his mostly sweaty hand onto his older sister’s arm, pulling her through the doorway, and straight into his bedroom, where his terrarium was empty, the turtle he had taken care of missing. Instead, a small, slug-like creature was in it’s place, hiding underneath a small overhang of fake rock. An empty three musketeers was a few inches in front of him, void of any crumbs.

It didn’t look normal, with it’s odd, closed-flower like face and slippery body. There were no eyes on it’s body, and though it was only a few inches big, it seemed to be ferociously upset by Emma’s presence.

“Where the hell did you find this??” She asked, pressing her face to the glass, the slug-like creature hissing and growling at her. “It looks insanely different than anything in Hawkins, or North America-” “Or Africa, or Europe!” Dustin exclaimed, pulling out an old book on different reptiles that he had stolen from Emma’s bookshelf. “I’ve already looked up a dozen different kinds of species, and Dart doesn’t match any of them.”

“You named him Dart?” Emma deadpanned, studying the hissing creature silently. “I feel like he looks more like a Jeffrey, to be honest.”

Dustin frowned, rolling his eyes. “When you find a new species, you can name them whatever you want.”

He approached the glass, catching the small creature’s attention. It instantly calmed, and cooed quietly. The heat lamp had been turned off and shrouded the entire glass tank in darkness. Gently, Dustin reached in to grab him. Emma’s hand shot out, stopping him instead, a frightened look in her eyes. “Dusty, we don’t know what this even is! We shouldn’t be touching it, let alone trying to keep it in this tank!”

“It’s fine,” Her brother replied, reaching in the last few inches and gently picking up the slug, still cooing quietly. “He likes me, cause I rescued him. And he likes nougat, so that’s cool.”

Without the glass barrier, Emma looked at the creature, it’s slimy skin reminiscent of a certain being that she hadn’t seen in about a year. The curiously flower-like head of the slug was opened slightly, and a fear started to grow in the pit of her stomach as she noticed the similarities of the gray, green and brown being.

“You know, it kinda looks like a demogorgon…” She murmured, staring a bit closer at the slug that was relaxing easily in her brother’s palm. “I mean, a baby one, but still.”

“There are no more demogorgons, Em,” He said with a roll of his eyes. “El took them back to the upside down when she left us.”

“I don’t know!” She shrugged, straightening her back. “It doesn’t look like a regular animal from here, it looks… different.”

The two fell into a shared silence, watching the slug breathe slowly, until Dustin slowly pushed it off his hand and back into the tank, and replaced the lid. Emma watched him warily as he washed his hands, and started to put away some of the books he borrowed, until a thought came to her mind.

“We never really know what’s going on in that lab anymore,” Emma mumbled as she gazed at the slug. “I mean, if they’re trying to go back in there…”

The siblings shared a look of unease as the October winds blew outside, sounding more like a howl than a scream now. The story that had started last year might have ended back then, but both knew that there was a deeper idea, a stronger plan in the works, and the sheer thought of it starting over again brought a new gloom upon their small town. And not just a frightening one this time. It was an evil one.

The silent alarm Emma woke to the next morning was somehow the start to one of the worst four hours past her usual morning, bringing her awake to the bright red number of 10:45.

“Shit, shit, shit!!!” She screeched through the empty house, as she jolted herself out of bed, murmuring quickly to herself.

Thanks to her exhaustion last night from the library and Dustin’s new pet, her fingers had accidentally forgot to press the button that would set off her alarm. She had slept straight through two class, and about half of third period. If she hurried, she might just make it by the tail end of class, able to disappear into the fray of students trying to make it to class on time. With her scooter, she’d be able to make it to school quick enough and head straight to the office, if she didn’t get pulled over by Hopper because she was trying to rival the speed of light instead of following the speed limit.

Her hair was wildly untamed, half in a bun on the top of her head and half falling out against her neck. She wore a grey top and a pair of tight jeans, throwing on a cardigan and jacket over the top before rushing to the kitchen to grab the lunch her mother had made, and straight out the door.

Thankfully, the janitors were cleaning up the glass at the front entrance, and she could easily bolt through the doors like a bullet, headed straight for her locker. She had already missed calculus and government and politics as well as trigonometry. If she hurried, she could make it to English only a little bit late, even though Mr. Murphy loved her work no matter what.

“Lady Macbeth makes everything go wrong,” She murmured to herself as she jogged through the halls, her locker close. “Then Lord Macbeth went to go duel the guy and he lost, so they lost everything, and basically it’s…”

Her words trailed off as she found Steve Harrington, the king of the school and head of the popular crowd, pushing his newest flavor of the week against her locker, a blonde girl a few inches taller than Emma, with a shirt barely long enough to cover her ass, and enough Lip-Smackers stuck in her pocket to qualify as a shareholder. It was Natalie Green, a sophomore who had gone starry eyed for Steve since the first day of school. She’d heard through the grapevine that the two were hooking up, though it didn’t matter much to her. Their utterly revolting snogging was an even worse beginning to her day. His hands were God knows where, and another pair were on his ass, fingers delicately slipping through the jean waistband.

She wanted to vomit.

“Hey!” She yelled, and suddenly, the two figures darted away from each other.

Of course, except for the fact that Steve’s hand had still been stuck up the girl’s shirt, gripping her overly padded bra with eyes wide in embarrassment.

“Fuck,” Steve said, pulling his hand out of the powder pink shirt and wiping it against his own jeans. His cheeks were bright pink, and lips swollen, but Emma wasn’t sure if it was from the kissing or the strawberry-flavored lip gloss that was all over their faces. Natalie wasn’t much better, pale face holding at least six different shades of scarlet as she tried to quell her breathing.

“You couldn’t have gone to the library?” Emma asked aloud as she went to open her locker, shaking her head. “Or like, wait 45 minutes until class let out and you wouldn’t have to skip to see each other?”

“Well,” The high pitched squeak of Natalie replied. Without turning her head, she knew that she was wearing a smug lip on her face, ‘fuck me’ eyes still wide and trained on Steve. “When you have a guy like Steve, you better make the most of your time. Right, sweetheart?” Steve waved her off. His voice was bored as he replied. “She’s right. You should get back to Chemistry.” “It’s Home Ec,” She amended, shrugging her shoulders. “But I’ll let that slide until lunchtime, baby.” She blew him a sticky, sloppy kiss from her hand before hopping off down the hallway, and out of sight as Emma rummaged through her locker, looking for her copy of Macbeth.

“God, I can not thank you enough, Henderson,” Steve murmured, picking his shirt up to wipe away the lip gloss smears and spit across his face. His foul face tried to hastily swipe his face clean, then going to arrange the rest of his outfit. “I wasn’t sure if I could make it another five minutes with her on me.”

“But you wanted to date her,” Emma pointed out in a monotone voice.

His brown eyes were narrowed as he hastily sputtered out his words. “But, I just, I didn’t know she was so, so-”

“Clingy?” Emma suggested as she tossed her lunch inside the locker. “Attached? Bonded?”

“When you say it like that,” Steve began, a sheepish grin beginning to grow on his face. “It kinda makes me sound like a bad person.”

For a mere second, the girl pulled her head out of her locker to stare back at him, eyebrow raised. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to say, idiot.”

Steve pinned his eyebrows down, crossing his arms as he leaned against the lockers, glaring right at Emma with a sour expression on his face. “I’m not a bad person, Henderson. I went out on a date with her, right?”

She tried not to laugh as she shook her head in her locker. It was rich to think that the ‘king of the school’ didn’t realize how much of a complete dick he had grown to become. If you were breathing, had boobs, decent looks, and you attended any school in Hawkins, Steve Harrington was sure to pass through your radar at one point. He was the biggest womanizer in school, known for going on one or two dates with a girl before calling it quits. There was never a real period of time that she knew he was single, and since his longest relationship only lasted about a week and a half, it was safe to say he was known quite well by many girls in Hawkins. It was somewhat disturbing how many girls came to Emma to vent about the boy, as if they wanted her to do something about it. It was even more disturbing to think of the boy that they always complained about was trying to have a real conversation with her about girls and the ‘woes of dating a bad kisser’.

“I would bet ten dollars you didn’t plan for that relationship to go anywhere else than where it did after the first date,” She smirked. “You’ve got a serious track record to not notice that.”

Emma slammed her locker shut, and began walking down the hall, Steve hot on her trail. “You’re kidding me, right? I’ve never led a girl to think I actually wanted a relationship with her!”

The teenaged girl slowed her sneakers, pausing in her walk to turn back and almost laugh at the pathetic popular boy behind her. “Really?”

“Really!” Steve exclaimed, shaking his head. He looked like a mother, arms crossed and an skeptical look on his face. “I have never done that!”

“Harrington, you do that with every girl you’ve ever gotten to fall under your spell,” Emma said slowly, making sure that the boy understood every word he said. “Almost every single girl you’ve dated has found me, three days after you tell her that you’re ‘not looking to get tied down’ in tears because they thought that just maybe, this time they could be the one for the magnificent, magical Steve Harrington.”

His face was stony, eyes still connected with Emma. He was more of a statue in the middle of the hallway than a teenage boy, being told that the legacy he’s led throughout his entire high school career was really tormenting the young girls around him with his dating habits. Words were trying to find their way to his mouth as the girl sighed and began to walk farther down the hall towards Calculus. She was tired of entertaining Steve and trying to make him see his mistakes when he was supposed to be in whatever class he had.

She didn’t look back as she left the boy, deep in thought, and turned her attention to her academics instead of the perils of a socially blinded popular boy.

TAG LIST: @lillie-writes @luv2reade16 @kararanae23

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theklancecollection · 6 years

Text

Happy Birthday Keith!

I know this is really late but when real life gets in the way, you do what you gotta do.

Below the cut are 38 fics that were written in honor of Keith’s birthday. Some of them heavily feature some sexy times so read at your own discretion.

Hope you all enjoy! :)

Keith's Birthday 2017: Lost in time and space - teddy_parade

Word Count: 6, 8441

Summay: Keith has finished his training with the Blade of Marmora and before the official ceremony, Kolivan shows Keith his mothers old room and explains everything.

Keith's Birthday Present - SkyeSentinels

Word Count: 1, 758

Summary: Keith wants to experiment in the bedroom, so Lance surprises him on his birthday.

Birthday Surprise - sometimesafangirl

Word Count: 1, 116

Summary: A short little fluff fic for Keith's birthday!

Happy Belated Birthday to Me - silentstardust

Word Count: 1, 460

Summary: Lance finds a very drunk Keith, who Is upset about missing his birthday, and tries to sober him up.

Happy Birthday Keith! - Dragon_Chica

Word Count: 672

Summary: Lance realizes it's Keith's birthday, so Lance does something about it.

Happy birthday, Keith - xSatine

Word Count: 1, 347

Summary: Keith sighed, walking back to his room. The lights motion sensors automatically turned on which pointed out to something on the bed. He walked over and pick up the note that was placed beside the pretty red lingerie. "Happy Birthday, Kitten. Be a good boy and put this on for me, and you'll receive the rest of your gift soon." He read. Keith blushed, so this is what Lance was planning. He started getting undressed and put on the soft lace, picking up the matching collar and putting that on, as well as some heels. Thoughts raced in Keith's mind as he waited patiently on the bed, already getting hard at his thoughts.

The Birthday He'd Never Had - InterstellarRenegade

Word Count: 2, 060

Summary: Keith’s birthday had been days before, and Lance had pouted when Keith had told him he wouldn’t be able to come home to celebrate. Keith hadn’t batted an eye at skipping over his birthday, more focused on his work with the Blade. However, Keith had smiled widely when Lance sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to him over their video call, and then a few days later, Keith had sent word that he would be able to catch a break from his work and come back to the castle.

Happy Birthday, Keith - SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock

Word Count: 1, 027

Summary: It's Keith's birthday and he's not told anyone. Lance finds out.

Happy Birthday - juniperallura

Word Count: 808

Sumamry: For prompt "happy birthday + Klance since Keith's birthday is the 23"

Drunk Keith is much more forthcoming about secrets than Sober Keith (and sometimes that's a good thing)

Happy Birthday Cowboy - KnightlyLaurkon

Word Count: 4, 269

Summary: Lance knew that it was Keith's birthday.

So he wanted to do something special, but didn't know what exactly to do!

That is... until Shiro let something slip.

Happy Birthday, Mullet Head - pluutonic

Word Count: 1, 951

Summary: Lance finds out Keith's birthday is tomorrow. Naturally, being the birthday monster that he is, Lance freaks out and disappears for almost a whole day, making Keith insanely worried.

Well, until Keith comes home to a strange noise coming from their bedroom.

Charming - ElsieMcClay

Word Count: 941

Summary: It's Keith's birthday.

Keith is Forgotten - Sidi

Word Count: 1, 411

Summary: How do the members of Voltron celebrate Keith's Birthday?

Sorry I know everyone is probably doing fluffy and happy for his Birthday but I had a different take on his birthday.

Surprises and Presents - MissBluebelles

Word Count: 4, 008

Summary: Keith knows everyone knows that it's his birthday. He also knows that their planning a surprise party for him. When he decided to go and confront them, Lance stops him and agrees to follow Keith to a swap moon for a date. Where Keith finds some nice stuff.

Wrapped in a Bow - TynxCann

Word Count: 3, 509

Summary: Keith had to work a double shift down at the station on his birthday, thus ruining any plans he had with Lance. Luckily, as soon as he gets home, there's one little present waiting to be unwrapped right in bed.

Blue Post Its - DaddyDrank

Word Count: 590

Summary: Today is Keith's birthday. Lance takes him on a date.

Beneath the Milky Twilight - Lyra_Kero

Word Count: 2, 151

Summary: That was how Keith found himself with a list written in Lance's, somehow, neat-yet-messy handwriting. Was that an 'l'? An 'o'? A 'p'? Or maybe a 'd'? He didn't know!

---

Lance tells Keith to go gather some things and Keith tries. Unfortunately due to issues out of his control he realizes Lance just wants him out of the house. Also, why is Monday so damn important?

Beanie Baby Memories - FlowerSong

Word Count: 1, 202

Summary: Keith misses one specific thing from earth, and it might be silly but it means so much. And Lance is sweet and perfect.

The Present I've Always Wanted - Nahterpie

Word Count: 2, 866

Summary: Keith gets a break from Marmora missions when Kolivan sets up a meeting with Shiro at the Castle of Lions, and he gets one precious night at home in the ship again. Coincidentally it just happens to also be the night of his birthday. Keith is entirely disillusioned with birthdays, but if he had to ask for something, he'd have to admit that it was a person he wanted more than anything.

And that person just knocked on his bedroom door.

Talk to Me, Baby (let's go crazy-crazy) - DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

Word Count: 2, 318

Summary: “Why are you holding a box of rainbow confetti cake mix?”

“I accidentally shoplifted it, I think. I kind of just ran after you. I should probably, um, pay for it and apologize and shit.” And that’s when Lance just starts laughing hysterically in the middle of a grocery store parking lot. “Oh my McFreakin’ god. Oh my – Keith. Why are you like this?” Uh, is that a no to the second date?”

In which Keith accidentally shoplifts cake mix and boys are dumb.

Birthdays Are Meant to Be Celebrated - dangerouslyhopeful

Word Count: 6, 920

Summary: -Season 4 spoilers-

It’s been a while since Keith has returned to the Castle of Lions. He misses it and team Voltron, but leaving the Blade of Marmora isn’t something he can just do whenever he pleases even when it’s his birthday and his boyfriend is begging him to come back at least for that day.

10/23. - TeaLovingTooru

Word Count: 1, 216

Summary: It's Keith's birthday and Lance wants to make it Keith's best one.

blue the color of our planet from far far away - MysticalLioness

Word Count: 1, 296

Summary: keiths birthday was today

but he never celebrated and so he didnt tell anyone

Please Sext Responsibly - enjayas

Word Count: 8, 219

Summary: Relationships in a vacuum are great. Relationships in real life… are a little trickier.

Keith and Lance have been dating for about eight months and are very much in love. Well, Lance is anyways. Keith is a little more cautious about admitting it. He's still figuring out how to articulate his feelings, especially since he’s having a pretty rough summer.

Life brings stress, jobs bring distance, family brings drama, and technology causes its fair share of mishaps. And even if they do love each other, are they both on the same page about their future?

Strap in folks, it's about to get real!

Stay Here With Me - rageisnotemo

Word Count: 1, 262

Summary: He was terrified of rejection, and it came so close to happening the day he left. Some part of him scolded him, telling him he really shouldn't have gotten so attached, but the rest of him screamed at him to go back, yelling it was going to be worth it, just trust someone again.

The dream shifted, and instead of Lance in front of him, it was his mother, and Keith held his breath, reaching out to her like she wouldn't leave him alone. Yet, in all his other dreams she left, didn't she? Keith trembled, letting his hand slowly fall back to his side, but his mother didn't turn away.

“Go to them, Keith. To your family,” Keith's mother whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder.

---

Or, Keith misses his family more than he'd like to admit.

♡ home ♡ (a klance fic) - mermaidnozomi

Word Count: 4, 451

Summary: On the hot, summery July night before his birthday, Lance has a nostalgic dream about his long-gone family that leaves him feeling gloomy and homesick when he wakes up. Wanting to cheer Lance up, Keith takes him out to have fun as simply just guy friends doing regular guy stuff, or at least planned to, until they both come back to Keith's place as more than friends.

Love In the Home We’ve Found (Here In My Heart) - fllorona

Word Count: 1, 871

Summary: Just some fluff for Keith's birthday.

October Twenty-Third - StarlightDreamer16

Word Count: 800

Summary: Keith is being distant.

Lance wants to know why.

Birthdays Under the Stars - Ellabelle

Word Count: 2, 050

Summary: Keith gets a birthday surprise

ice stars - ViridianNeophyte

Word Count: 1, 398

Summary: Heat rises to his cheeks. "Like... you and me, official official?" He can see the dangerous slash of hope fringed with fear sparkling behind Keith's eyes. "You want... with me?"

Keith huffs a laugh, the warmth from his breath skittering over Lance's lips. "Who else is going to make blowjob innuendo at me across the table of a fancy restaurant, drinking lemonade like a grade schooler?"

color of boom - memesofbees

Word Count: 4, 577

Summary: Lance’s breath hitches and smooths out, arm tightening. Keith touches his knuckles, turns his head so their noses bump. He considers counting all the freckles spread across Lance’s face until he woke up, then remembers he’s already done it. Somewhere around fifty. It's also a hell of a reach.

He takes a breath to brace himself and carefully brings his hand up to cup Lance’s jaw, sweeping his thumb over his cheek bone. It doesn’t take long for him to give a small snort, eyelashes fluttering. Blink.

His gaze is unfocused but he grins softly, “Good morning, birthday boy.”

Keith can’t help mirroring it despite himself because it feels so good to hear, “Hey.”

✦

it's keith's birthday and everything is happy and good

midnight wishes - DidiNyx

Word Count: 1, 882

Summary: Lance didn't want to admit it, but even with his messy black hair and dark circles around his eyes, the nineteen year old was just adorable - Maybe minus the fact that he always kept a knife by his side.

Keith studied Lance for a few seconds before he cried "Wait a minute! What the hell are you doing here!? It's, like, midnight?"

Lance gulped, glancing at Keith's knife then back to Keith. "Um, isn't it obvious?" Lance tried to sound sharp but failed. "I'm wishing you happy birthday, dude. It's October the twenty-third, correct? I believe that's when your birthday is, unless I calculated wrong and stayed outside your door for like two hours for nothing."

Saw this really cute prompt regarding Keith's birthday on tumblr and this happened... <3 Happy birthday, Keith!! (This takes place after Keith leaves... but in this he returns! :D Because it's... going to happen...)

Spice Up Your Life - Anonymous

Word Count: 5, 182

Summary: It's Keith's birthday, so Lance enlists the help of their daughter to try and make it the best day ever.

Today was the Day - rainingWolf

Word Count: 689

Summary: He had not expected much, had expected this day to go as smoothly and quietly as usual, and so, was surprised to see a banner that said Happy Birthday Keith draping down from the high arched ceiling of the Castle.

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me" - DracoNorth

Word Count: 4, 154

Summary: Birthday boy gets a birthday fic that involves being tortured bother emotionally and sexually because that's just who I am.

Also known as,

Lance has a nightmare, Keith makes it better and Lance discovers that he's about to be introduced to some really kinky shit later.

Walking Across The Sky (Pumpkin Spice Edition) - killingmonsterswritingthings

Word Count: 3, 867

Summary: Time passed differently in space. This was both a fact and an experience Lance had made.

So it came as a bit of a surprise when he checked Earth calendars and counted days and realized it was the middle of October already.

Between Keith's birthday and Halloween, the Voltron crew had more than enough reason for a party.

Stimulating Surprise - arteimisia

Word Count: 2, 106

Summary: Lance paused and looked up at him, tongue licking his lips “You know, this cake tastes a lot better when I’m eating it off of you”

Keith's face was red, but he grabbed some cake and placed it lower on his abdomen "Then go ahead and have some more,"

if all birthdays were like this i'd have them more often - sebayard

Word Count: 2, 533

Summary: "Damn, he isn’t looking forward to today.

It’s not that birthdays are bad, per se, but, from Keith’s experience, they can be pretty lonely. It isn’t anyone’s fault really. It isn’t anyone’s fault that Keith grew up without parents. It isn’t anyone’s fault that his only family lived on the other side of the country. It isn’t anyone’s fault that he had his first birthday party at thirteen and the only person to show up was his cousin Shiro.

Life just sucked sometimes, and for Keith, it just especially sucked on his birthday.

Every year."

Keith's birthday doesn't go as expected.

#voltron #klance #keith #lance #keith's birthday #klance fic recs

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rigzcarlson45-blog · 5 years

Text

2018's Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!!

All year long we've been rounding up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! As 2018 comes to an end, we hope you will enjoy our choices for the funniest parenting tweets of the year!! Thanks for reading and have an amazing 2019!!!

For more Twitter fun, don't forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!

Sometimes my kids complain about something I tell them to do and I say “hey man, I don't make the rules!” and then I walk away laughing under my breath because I DO make the rules.

- Brandon Andrina (@proathomedad) March 11, 2018

Sometimes as a parent there are those moments of pure joy & excitement, like when you arrive at a kids' birthday party & the host says parents don't have to stay.

- Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 10, 2018

Me pretending that's not my kid in public pic.twitter.com/iVgBEASlWk

- Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) March 8, 2018

How to put on shoes like a 5-year-old:

1) Put on one shoe.

2) Ponder the mysteries of the universe.

3) What shoes?

- James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 9, 2018

Kids today will never know the struggle of having to go around the house and change every little clock. #DaylightSavings

- Matthew Kabel (@MattKabel) March 11, 2018

Me: Let's watch the old Mario Bros show on Netflix from when I was a kid!

Daughter: Why is it blurry?

Me: All of the shows used to be blurry.

Daughter: Why is it square?

Me: TV's used to be square.

Daughter: Why isn't it funny or good?

Me: YOU MADE ME WATCH CAILLOU!!

- John Kinnear (@askdadblog) March 23, 2018

Me after seeing a group of 30 something year old guys gathered to play Pokemon GO: "What a bunch of nerds"

Also me after picking up my son from school today: "CAN YOU TEACH ME TO PLAY FORTNITE RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?

- Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) March 19, 2018

My daughter thinks it's hilarious when I accidentally get her math questions wrong but the joke's on her because it's not an accident and she's on her own for homework for 10 more years.

- Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 19, 2018

My style of parenting can best be described as 'Max and Ruby's parents.'

- Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) March 24, 2018

My kid just fed me what she said was a raisin. It wasn't a raisin.

Never, I repeat never, eat anything your kid feeds you without double checking.

- Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) August 10, 2018

The first time I realized my kids are spoiled was when they started complaining about not being able to skip commercials at a hotel.

- Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 6, 2018

My mom: wow it's so nice of Jeff to watch your kids for the next few days while you're gone

Me: yes, he is very excited to continue to be a father

- sleepy mom (@lauratnelson) August 10, 2018

Store clerk: May I help you?

Me: I hope so. Sweetie go get your math homework, this nice woman is going to help us.

- Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 13, 2018

My toddler just looked me straight in the eyes and whispered “I'm NOT crazy.” Which sounds exactly like something a crazy person would do.

- Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 19, 2018

Mom: [carries in womb for 10 months, breastfeeds another 12 months, quits job to stay at home and raise our daughter]

Me: [does the going downstairs behind the couch gag]

Daughter: Daddy's my best friend!

- Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) May 15, 2018

My 8yo can't play video games today, but instead of doing something productive, he's having his brother loudly narrate his game from the next room.

- Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 12, 2018

Other women: Nothing is sexier than a dad holding a baby.

Me: Nothing is sexier than my husband using his thundering dad-voice to frighten our children into behaving when I've abandoned all hope.

- Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 10, 2018

Me “Go play outside.”

Kids “Ugh it's too hot!!”

Me “Go!”

Kids “Will you play with us?!”

Me “Outside? No way! It's way too hot.”

- Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) May 8, 2018

2yo: “mommy I did it!”

Me: “that's awesome, buddy I knew you could do it!”

(I have no idea what he did)

- Melissa (@Fiveoclockmommy) May 10, 2018

My kids made me Mother's Day cards covered in glitter, which is like the opposite of saying I love you.

- Ashnog

(@adult_mom) May 14, 2017

My 5yo son just slept-walked into the kitchen, pulled down his pants and peed all over the kitchen table. Glad to hear you are pregnant with your first though.

- Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 4, 2018

My nephews thought my not giving them Easter baskets was an April Fool's joke, but really it's because they're older now.

Aging, the ultimate prank.

- Darlin' Darla (@Darlainky) April 1, 2018

(both kids screaming from the living room) MONSTERS DON'T SPAWN IN THIS AREA! WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED A TORCH! IF I DIE BECAUSE OF YOU I'M GONNA – JUST DIG AND HIDE! WHERE IS YOUR BASE?

It's too early for this

- Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) April 20, 2018

The kids have been away for a few days and I just found a pair of inside-out pants with underwear still stuck to them in my 5yo's room and clutched it to my chest like an ex's hoodie.

- SpacedMom (@copymama) April 7, 2018

My son asked what sides we were having with dinner like we haven't had mac & cheese and microwaved green beans with every meal since he was born.

- Darlin' Darla (@Darlainky) July 17, 2018

https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/1018920271011557377 https://twitter.com/eff_yeah_steph/status/1017722655968059392

Me: (limits screen time)

[5 minutes later]

6: (gets a concussion) Me: That's it! Everyone back on their tablets!

- Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 10, 2018

https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4/status/1015071841809981440

My daugjter just ruined Toy Story for ever. She said if one of the toys died Andy wouldnt know and he'd carry on playing with its corpse

- Baron Stigmund (@stiggib3) July 1, 2018

8: “Where's Dad? I need some help” Me: “I can help you!” 8: “It's about the TV” Me: 8: Me: “Dad's upstairs.”

- Wendy S. (@maughammom) June 26, 2018

"Nope."

~My two-year old, trying to justify he didn't draw on the table with a red crayon while HOLDING A RED CRAYON.

- A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 9, 2018

Life hack: If you tell the pizza delivery person "Thanks so much, you're making our Pajama Day awesome!" when you and your toddler answer the door in pj's, you transform from the mom who couldn't get her shit together into the fun mom who hosts theme days.

- MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) June 5, 2018

I didn't realize 80% of song lyrics were inappropriate until I had to listen to them in the car with my kids.

- Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) June 8, 2018

My son just said he's going to call me “Squishy” to match my stomach and now I need to have another kid just so I can have a favorite

- AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 3, 2018

Every single conversation I have with my kids pic.twitter.com/osbJEa8E7B

- Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 1, 2018

After my family finishes dinner. Me: “Anyone want ice cream?” My kids reaction. #LifeofDad pic.twitter.com/N0rZzLJkH7

- DadatWork (@ArtEddy3) August 23, 2018

Damn, looks like I brought the wrong 47 children's books on our road trip.

- Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 22, 2018

My 5 year old son just asked “what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey's whole life” and none of the parenting books I've read have prepared me for this question.

- Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCaveman) August 26, 2018

BEFORE HAVING KIDS: "I am NEVER making separate meals for my children"

4 YEARS LATER: "Let me repeat your order: tri-color pasta (al dente) with butter & cheese on a bed of string cheese on a fairy plate, cup of water with star-shaped ice cubes, yogurt two ways, Cheez-Its."

- Bret Turner (@bretjturner) August 15, 2018

*starts my own YouTube channel so my kids will listen to me.

- The Baron (@baronvonbike) August 17, 2018

8yo: Dad, can I eat on the couch? Me: Sure, as long as you're carefu- 8yo: I spilled my drink Me: Of course

- Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 31, 2018

Kid: Mom, the light's on in my closet.

Me: That's weird. The monster must be looking for something.

- MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) September 19, 2018

In case you wondered what having a boy is like. My son just came down from having a shower and smelled no different than before he went in. I asked if he used soap and he responded "not this time" as if that's even a thing.

- Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) September 24, 2018

You'll know parents by the way they are compelled to point out any and all cows to anyone who happens to be in the car with them.

- Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) September 17, 2018

Kid: *3 and a half seconds after calling me the worst mom ever* Can you make me a snack?

- Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 14, 2018

Nothing like seeing a new dad at Disney World find out a Mickey shaped balloon with a glow stick in it is $35. Welcome to the club buddy.

- Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 16, 2018

Sometimes I purposefully dress my toddler in mismatched pajamas just to make my wife's head explode.

- Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 8, 2018

7AM text from mom. Just a quick seven paragraphs.

- Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 31, 2018

“How I wonder what you are?”

You literally JUST said it was a little star. Nursery rhymes are dumb.

- SpacedMom (@copymama) August 29, 2018

Save a ton of time by never unloading groceries again. Just throw the bags of food directly into a teenager's open mouth.

- Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) October 22, 2018

I finally posted pics of my kids at a pumpkin patch, so I get to stay on Facebook for another year

- Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) October 24, 2018

A kids version of the “Saw” movie but they can only escape by eating a sandwich with the crusts on.

- Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) October 16, 2018

Ahh, I love the sound of my kids' screen time in the morning.

- MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 21, 2018

God: You're in charge of naming all the animals.

Dr. Seuss: That's a Zizzer Zazzer Zuz. That's a Phiffer Pheffer Phef. That's-

God: Nope nope nope. Let's bring you back later. Adam, you're up.

- The Dadvocate (@thedadvocate01) October 10, 2018

My kids know to wait until I'm sick to ask me to upgrade all their iPad games.

Why yes, I will pay $9.99 to unlock all the Strawberry Shortcake baking tools if it means a possible 10 minutes of silence.

- Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) October 8, 2018

9: Where's dad? I need his help.

Me: Anything your dad can do, I can do. What do you need?

9: When I flushed the toilet, it keeps rising.

Me: Go find your dad.

- Julie Burton (@ksujulie) September 29, 2018

One time I put the burnt side of a grilled cheese face down on my child's plate and almost got away with it.

- Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) September 24, 2018

https://twitter.com/thisiskacee/status/1065007774713577473

In hind sight “Up your butt and around the corner” was not the best phrase to add to 4's vocabulary.

But my God, you should have seen Nana's face when 4 told her where she could find her glasses.

Worth. It.

- Mom Jeans Please (@momjeansplease) November 20, 2018

CONFUSED SHOPPER DAD: should i buy the odorless candle or the apple-cinnamon candle?

OTHER SHOPPER DAD: apple-cinnamon. it makes more scents!

*tremendous high five attempt, but they whiff*

- TuSoon Shakur (@TuSoonShakur) November 12, 2018

Daughter: can you make me a sandwich?

Me: poof you're a sandwich lol.

Daughter:

Me:

Daughter: MOM HE'S DOING THAT THING AGAIN.

- Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 7, 2018

8yo: Mom, will you put ketchup on my hotdog?

Me: You're old enough to do it yourself.

8yo: pic.twitter.com/WfXA9pepJX

- Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 5, 2018

Me: *reads first four words of children's book* 2-year-old: "Why?"

- Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 1, 2018

We're going to an amusement park tomorrow.

So today we're busy threatening to not go to the amusement park tomorrow.

- Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 3, 2018

There is no one more drunk with power than a 3 year old who can finally reach the water dispenser on the refrigerator. 6 cups in 5 minutes and counting…

- Mom Jeans Please (@momjeansplease) November 1, 2018

My husband was looking at his fantasy football scoreboard and my 9yo came up and started reading the team names and said “What's Finger Bangers?” and I think we all aged a little in that moment.

- SpacedMom (@copymama) December 6, 2018

mom: call your grandmother, she sent you a birthday card with $10

me: ok

[later]

me: hey grandma

grandma: hello dear

me: i need more money, this isn't 1842

- The Hype (@TheHyyyype) December 4, 2018

Welcome to parenthood, you need to flush the toilet before you use it too.

- FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) November 29, 2018

SANTA: what would you like for Christmas? *child hands Santa a note*

"Please look after Melissa. I need a couple of hours to shop and maybe get a coffee. Also, she's lactose intolerant."

SANTA, to elf: put her with the others

- Bison (@McGrumpenstein) December 8, 2018

Special shout out to the kid at my son's elementary school concert who threw his arms into a cross and yelled "Wakanda Forever!" at the end of his performance.

- Heather M. Jones (@hmjoneswriter) December 14, 2018

Last Friday, my daughter's teacher mentioned to me how nice it is to see how well my kids get along & love each while at school. Now if you'll excuse me, my daughter just punched my son in the groin for using the pencil crayon she wasn't even using…

- Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) December 17, 2018

There's always the 'Funniest parenting tweets of the week' but never the 'Funniest guy living alone in basement apartment tweets of the week', heck this.

- Matt (@Stap_Jr) September 11, 2018

The post 2018's Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!! appeared first on Life of Dad.

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thelastspeecher · 7 years

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Stan Pines, Farmhand - Chapter 12: We’re Expecting a Package or Two

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 AO3

Most of y’all know that this week was really shitty for me (pretty sure the last 72 hours or so have been one constant panic attack, and I’m in physical pain basically all the time), so I gave up on being coy and decided that I needed happiness and fluff in my life. So. Here ya go. The next chapter of “Stan Pines, Farmhand”, a day early. In it, Stan and Angie have an important conversation while Stan is shirtless, they con everyone for nine months, and hopefully, you’ll be surprised. Enjoy~

October 31, 1978

“Angie, could ya help me out? I’m havin’ some issues puttin’ on this fuckin’ pirate costume,” Stan said, walking into the bedroom he shared with Angie, one arm in his shirt and the other one out. Angie was sitting on the bed, still in the clothes she’d worn during her research hike that day. “Uh, Angie? I thought we were goin’ to that Halloween party the lumberjacks are throwin’.”

“I, uh, I ain’t in the mood,” Angie said softly. Stan struggled for a few moments before completely removing his shirt and tossing it to the side. He sat down next to her.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Y’know how we planned on not havin’ kids fer a while?” Dread began to gnaw at Stan’s stomach.

“Yes…”

“We, uh, we might to have to move up those plans a bit,” she squeaked. Stan stared at her.

“Are- are you-” Angie buried her head in her hands.

“I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

“Oh. Oh, fuck,” Stan said in an equally soft tone. “We- we ain’t prepared.” Angie shook her head.

“No. We ain’t.” She took a deep breath. “This- this’ll throw a bit of a wrench in our plans.”

“Okay, okay,” Stan said, running a hand through his hair. “First off, are ya sure you’re pregnant?”

“Well, I ain’t gone to the doctor, but given my fam’ly history, I highly doubt it’s a false positive, darlin’.”

“Yeah. The McGucket fertility. Shoulda listened to Lute when he warned me.” Angie chuckled drily. “But, uh, at least we’ve got some money saved. And I’ve got a steady job finally. Bein’ a lumberjack pays pretty well.” He looked at Angie. “An’ Ford keeps askin’ ya to help with his research; you’ve got cash from when you’ve done that, right?” She nodded. “So, the money might not be an issue.” Angie leaned against him.

“Even if it is, my folks’ll back us up,” she said softly. “An’ they’ve still got a lot of old baby stuff from when us kids were young.” She smiled absentmindedly. “I kind of like the idea of our kid usin’ the same crib I used.” Stan felt something warm inside his chest.

“Yeah.”

“An’ it ain’t like Fidds, I don’t have to put my research on hold right away,” Angie continued. “Pregnant people can go on hikes. ‘Fore their feet swell, at least.”

“Is that a thing that happens?” Stan asked. Angie laughed.

“Maybe we should get ya a book. Or have Ma give ya a conversation ‘bout what pregnancy entails. That’d scare ya.”

“Geez.” The two of them were silent for a moment. Stan put an arm around Angie’s shoulders.

“Are- are we goin’ to do this?” Angie said at long last. Stan nodded hesitantly.

“I think so.” He looked at her. “Angie, we’re havin’ a kid.” She beamed.

“We’re havin’ a kid!”

“We’re- we’re gonna be parents.”

“We’re goin’ to be parents!” She embraced him tightly. He hugged her in return, but let go quickly.

“Shit, should- should I not squeeze ya or-” Angie laughed. “So I can, then.” She took one of his hands and placed it on her flat stomach.

“Stanley, yer son or daughter’s in there. Right now. Growin’.” The warm feeling Stan had felt earlier spread from his chest to his extremities. “I think I’m goin’ to have to skip the party tonight,” Angie said. “I don’t feel much up to it, what with findin’ out I’m pregnant an’ all.”

“Fuck the party,” Stan said vehemently. He smiled at her. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

-----

January 8, 1979

The doorbell rang. Angie covered the receiver of the phone.

“Stan, could ya get that, please? I’m talkin’ to Ma,” she said. Stan continued to squint at the crib assembly instructions.

“Still?”

“She’s excited ‘bout her youngest havin’ a baby.”

“I guess she would be. My mom talked my ear off, too.” The doorbell rang again. “I’m comin’!” Stan stood up and walked to the front door, abandoning the half-built crib in the living room. He opened the door. “Hey, nerds.”

“Hello to you too, Stanley,” Ford said shortly. Fiddleford shifted Tate from being held in one arm to his other one.

“Angie called earlier, sayin’ y’all had somethin’ to tell us?”

“Come on in!” Angie shouted from the living room. Stan stood to the side and let Ford and Fiddleford file in past him. Ford got to the living room first.

“Wh- normally you two keep this place fairly clean,” Ford said, eyeing the crib parts scattered across the room.

“I tried not followin’ the instructions, and then I built…I don’t even know what it was, so I had to tear it apart,” Stan explained. “I may or may not have thrown some things.”

“He did throw things,” Angie said to Ford, while she was still on the phone. “Uh-huh. Yes, Ma, I know. ‘Bout three months, I told ya already.”

“She’s talkin’ to Ma, huh?” Fiddleford asked. He set down Tate, who promptly crawled over to the building instructions and picked it up. “No, honey-bun!” Fiddleford said quickly, taking the piece of paper from him. He frowned. “Crib instructions? Why would ya be buildin’ a crib?” He looked up at Stan, his eyes wide. “Are ya-” Stan nodded.

“We’re due late June.”

“Oh!” Fiddleford embraced Stan tightly. “Congratulations, brother!” Ford gave Stan a pat on the back.

“Yes, Stan. Congratulations. Congratulations to the both of you.”

“Thanks!” Angie said cheerfully. She turned her attention back to her phone conversation. “No, Ma, I- Ma, I don’t need yer old maternity clothes. I’m gettin’ my own. ‘Cause fashions change, that’s why!”

“Yeah, thanks, we’re uh-” Stan cut off his thought. “Tate, no!” He picked his nephew up and pulled the screwdriver out of the toddler’s hand. Tate sniffled. “Don’t cry, kid,” Stan said desperately.

“Here,” Ford said, taking Tate from Stan. Fiddleford put his hands on his hips as he surveyed the partially assembled crib.

“Why didn’t ya wait fer us to get here ‘fore ya started? I can help ya out. I am an engineer, after all.”

“No thanks. I want somethin’ for my kid to sleep in, not a killer robot,” Stan said.

“Stan?” Angie said.

“Yeah?”

“Lute wants to talk to ya,” she said, walking over and handing him the phone. Fiddleford took the moment to hug her.

“My baby sister’s havin’ a baby!”

“Fidds, don’t squeeze so tight,” Angie squeaked. Fiddleford let her go.

“Sorry.” He looked her up and down. “Yer showin’!” Angie placed her hands on her stomach, which already had a slight bump to it.

“A bit.”

“How far along are ya?”

“A lil over three months.”

“That’s a bit early to be showin’.”

“Yeah, it threw us fer a loop, too. I s’pose it’s ‘cause I was mostly skin ‘n bones ‘fore. It’s why we decided to tell y’all now. We were plannin’ on waitin’ a bit longer, to avoid the phone calls and questions and advice and whatnot. But Ma already basically figured it out at Christmas, an’ then I started puttin’ on some weight up front, so we had to move up our schedule a bit.” She grinned crookedly. “This kid’s already causin’ us trouble.” Fiddleford smiled at her.

“Goldarn, with you and Stan as its parents, why, that kid’ll be a handful.”

“We can’t all have quiet, well-behaved children,” Angie replied. Fiddleford chuckled and tucked a stray strand of hair behind one of her ears.

“You would know, bein’ that you were one of ‘em what weren’t.”

“So, Stan, you ‘n my baby sister are havin’ a kid, huh?” Lute said, drawing Stan’s attention to the phone call.

“Yeah.”

“Due date’s when?”

“June 20.”

“Wow, that’s so soon!” Lute said in mock surprise. Stan sighed.

“Just say it and get it over with.” Lute sniggered.

“Told ya so.”

-----

February 19, 1979

“Okay, give me a second to find the baby,” the ultrasound technician said, running the weird device over Angie’s slightly extended stomach. Angie watched the ultrasound with baited breath, her face pale and drawn. Stan squeezed her hand.

“How ya doin’?” he asked her.

“What if somethin’s wrong?” she whispered.

“It won’t be.”

“Stan, ya have no clue how many things can go wrong durin’ a pregnancy,” she said snippily, her nerves getting the best of her.

“Bein’ a biologist is really comin’ back to bite ya in the ass, huh?” Stan said. Angie nodded hesitantly.

“It’s so easy fer one thing to not work right and then-”

“Do ya know what Lute keeps sayin’ to me?” Stan interrupted, stopping her stream of anxiety before she could start to panic. Angie turned her head to face him.

“No. What?”

“He keeps sayin’ that the kid’ll be a redhead.”

“Well, it does run in my fam’ly. Auntie Banjey and Violynn have both got that pretty red hair.”

“No, not from you. From me.” Angie frowned, perplexed. “Remember when I accidentally got my hair turned red fer six months?”

“That happened years ago! Why’s he bringin’ it up?”

“Somethin’ ‘bout seein’ me as a redhead bein’ one of the best days of his life.” Stan sighed. “He’s never gonna let me live it down.”

“He wouldn’t be a proper brother if he did.”

“He’s gonna use that as a bedtime story for our kid, I just know it.” Angie chuckled, her earlier anxiety about the baby’s health forgotten.

“And…there it is,” the technician said, pointing at the screen. Angie squeezed Stan’s hand.

“Thank you,” she whispered. He squeezed back and leaned forward, squinting slightly at the screen.

Maybe Angie’s right. Maybe I should get my eyes checked out again. Might need stronger lenses than what I’ve got.

“The baby is that white blob?” Angie asked.

Oh. Maybe it’s not my glasses.

“Shaped sort of like a bean, yes. There’s its head, and its torso and- oh!”

“What?” Angie asked worriedly. Stan squeezed her hand again.

“There’s another one!” the technician said excitedly, pointing to a similarly shaped blob on the screen.

“There’s two?” Angie asked breathlessly.

“Yep! Twins.” Stan’s heart stopped.

I’m still not sure if I can take care of one kid, let alone two.

“No one in my family has ever had twins,” Angie said.

“Yeah, but it runs in my family,” Stan replied. Angie looked at him.

“That ain’t how it works, Stanley.” Stan grinned at her.

“I know. Ya keep tellin’ me that.” He looked back at the ultrasound. As he stared at the picture, maybe he was imagining it, but it seemed to come into focus more. He could see what the technician had pointed out: the head, the torso, the second fetus. His heart started racing.

Those are my kids. He felt a surge of protectiveness, of connection to these white blobs on a computer screen. My kids.

“You all right, Stan?” Angie asked, breaking him from his reverie. He looked down at her.

“Just- just thinkin’ ‘bout how much I love those kids, and they aren’t even born yet,” he said weakly. “I’d- I’d do anything for ‘em.” Angie’s eyes got misty.

“I know,” she whispered. She looked back at the ultrasound. “So would I.”

-----

June 25, 1979

“These damn kids are takin’ their sweet time to get out,” Angie said idly. She was sitting in Stan’s armchair, hands resting on her large baby bump. Stan looked up from his Gold Chains for Young Men magazine.

“I thought ya were nappin’.”

“Woke up. Yer children kept kickin’ me.”

“Weren’t they due-”

“Five days ago,” Angie finished for him. She shifted slightly, attempting to find a more comfortable sitting position. “But technically speakin’, they should’ve been here even sooner than that. Twins ‘re usually born early.”

“Maybe it’s fer the best,” Stan suggested. Angie eyed him.

“Yer not the one whose bladder is gettin’ stomped on.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

�� “Then what did ya mean, oh husband of mine who planted two children in me?” Angie snipped. She sighed. “Sorry, darlin’. It’s damn near impossible to get comfortable right now, an’ I’m gettin’ pretty sick of needin’ yer help to sit up in the mornin’.” She rubbed her eyes. “I’m gettin’ pretty sick of bein’ tired all the time, too.”

“That’s not gonna end after the kids are fin’ly born,” Stan said. Angie groaned.

“Don’t remind me. An’ if those kids are anythin’ like either of us, they’re goin’ to be hell to raise.” She shook her head. “Never mind, we’ll get there when we get there. What did ya mean by me bein’ overdue bein’ a good thing?”

“Well, we’ve got the cribs done,” Stan began. Angie nodded. “The nursery’s completely done. Painted and set up. We’ve got enough baby clothes fer a baby army.” She cracked a half-smile. “But we don’t have any names.” Angie stared at him.

“Well, kettle my corn,” she said softly. “I completely forgot ‘bout choosin’ names!”

“An’ we’ve gotta have two of ‘em,” Stan pointed out. Angie nodded. “And three pairs, since they need to match.”

“No, they don’t.”

“Pines fam’ly tradition. Twins have matching names.”

“We ain’t pullin’ a ‘Stan and Stan’ situation, Stanley,” Angie said.

“Oh, God, no. Y’know, the reason Ford and I basically have the same name is ‘cause my folks weren’t expectin’ twins. So Pops just gave us the same name when there ended up bein’ two.” He put his magazine down. “But we know we’re havin’ twins.” Angie drummed her fingers on her stomach idly.

“If’n ya want matchin’ names, if it’s two girls, how ‘bout Viola and Virginia?”

“No.”

“What? Why not?”

“Viola isn’t a real name.”

“It is! It was Fidds’ first name! An’ Virginia is Ma’s middle name.”

“Nope. Nixing it.”

“Fine,” Angie grumbled. She cocked her head at him. “What did ya have in mind?”

“Stanjamin and Stella, for a boy and girl,” Stan said immediately. Angie’s face settled into a sour expression. “So, no, then.”

“I like Stella. But Stanjamin ain’t a name.”

“Stella and Stanley, then.”

“No. If I can’t have Viola, you can’t have Stanley.” Stan sighed.

“Fair enough,” he said. Angie closed her eyes and leaned back. She took so long to speak that Stan initially thought she had fallen asleep again.

“How ‘bout Emmett and Emory, fer two boys?”

“…I like it. It’s better than what I was thinkin’.”

“Which was?”

“Luke and Lex.” Angie chuckled.

“Them’s nerd names, Stan.”

“Yeah. Emmett and Emory is better. An’ if it’s a boy and a girl, then Emmett and…Emily?” Angie nodded, her eyes still closed.

“I like it.”

“An’ fer two girls,” Stan started, “maybe Daisy could be one of ‘em.”

“Daisy? Like my horse?”

“Like yer favorite flower, Gucket,” Stan retorted. Angie smiled.

“Yer such a sap,” she said quietly. She yawned. “We can figure out the other name later. I’m thinkin’ I might try to take a nap again.”

“What ‘bout last names?” Stan said. “Are we gonna give ‘em McGucket-Pines or Pines-McGucket?” Angie opened an eye to look at him.

“We name one of ‘em McGucket and one Pines,” she said shortly.

“One McGucket-Pines and the other one Pines-McGucket?”

“No. Just McGucket and just Pines.” She closed her eyes and settled back. “It ain’t fun havin’ a super long name.”

“I dunno. It’d be weird if they were twins but didn’t have matchin’ last names,” Stan said slowly. He looked over at his wife. She was asleep again. “I guess we’ll have to figure it out later.” He walked over to her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and whispering in her ear. “Stanjamin Pines. Think about it.”

-----

July 4, 1979

Stan stared down at the two matching hospital cribs. Each strange, box-like structure held an infant swaddled in a pink blanket. He reached down and stroked the one with hair; a few wispy caramel-colored curls. Her sister, who was completely bald, began to shift noisily.

“Are ya ever goin’ to pick one up? Or are ya just window shoppin’?” Angie asked teasingly. Stan looked over at her. She was still slightly winded, but had rebounded from her long labor quickly.

“Gimme a sec. I was just watchin’ ‘em sleep.” He turned back to his newborn daughters. “God, they’re gorgeous girls. Just like their mom.”

“Mm. Gorgeous like their dad.”

“Yer right. We are both gorgeous. Our daughters are gonna be inhumanly beautiful.” Angie laughed.

“Ford’s rubbin’ off on ya. Yer startin’ to sound like a dork.”

“That’s slander.” Another minute passed as Stan continued to look at his children. Eventually, Angie spoke.

“Stan, would ya mind gettin’ one of ‘em? I’d like to hold my daughter.”

“Can’t ya get her yourself?”

“I just pushed both of ‘em outta my body, Stanley. I barely got enough strength to sit up.”

“Which one do ya want?”

“Don’t care. They’re both perfect.” Stan handed the younger twin to Angie. He watched his wife hold his daughter in the correct way immediately, and gaze down with intense love in her eyes.

Damn, she’s got me beat at this whole parenting thing and they’re less than an hour old.

“Why don’t ya hold the other one?” Angie suggested. “She’s got yer nose, after all.” Stan cracked a half-smile.

“Prob’ly looks better on her.”

“Come on, Stan. Bond with yer oldest child.”

“Okay, okay. I was gonna do it, even before ya started to harass me.” He reached into the crib and picked up his other daughter. She shifted slightly in his arms.

“Look at that,” Angie said quietly. “Yer a natural.”

“Yeah?” Stan asked, torn between staring at his daughter and staring at his wife.

“Yeah.”

“God, they’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” Stan whispered.

“No swearin’ around yer daughters, please.”

“Right.” He took a seat and stared down at his oldest child. At some point, she had woken up while he held her. Her eyes, a rich dark brown like his, were wide open, and she was staring at him with unabashed curiosity. He stroked her caramel-colored curls tenderly. “How else am I gonna find good words to describe how I feel, though?” he asked quietly.

“Aw, Stan, that’s so sweet,” Angie said. She looked down at the child she was holding. “This one’s got the McGucket nose.”

“That one should be Daisy, then.”

“Why?”

“Daisy McGucket just has a nice feel to it.” His daughter shifted in his arms and made a small noise. “But this one, she’s a Pines. Danica Pines.” He looked up at Angie.

“Yessir. Daisy Leigh McGucket and Danica Viola Pines.” She smiled at him. There was a knock on the hospital room door. “Come in.” Fiddleford entered the room, closely followed by Ford.

“Would ya look at that lil munchkin!” Fiddleford gushed, making a beeline for Angie.

“Do ya want to hold her?” Angie asked.

“Yes, please.” Angie handed Daisy to her older brother. Ford joined Fiddleford and stared down at his small niece. “What’s her name?”

“Daisy. Daisy Leigh.”

“A cute lil name fer a cute lil girl,” Fiddleford cooed. Daisy waved a tiny hand. Fiddleford’s eyes widened. “Angie, is she a polydactyl?”

“Yep. Eleven adorable fingers.”

“It makes sense. She’s eleven minutes younger than the other one,” Stan said. Fiddleford and Ford looked up.

“Other one?” Ford asked.

“Ya had twins?” Fiddleford asked Angie. She nodded, grinning. “Why didn’t ya tell anyone?”

“We wanted it to be a surprise.”

“And we wanted to mess with everyone,” Stan said. “Angie and I couldn’t think of a better way to bring our daughters into the world than with a long con.” Ford walked over to his twin’s side.

“She’s a cute kid, Stan.”

“Thanks. Her name’s Danica. Danny for short.”

“You two went with the naming convention, then?” Ford asked. Stan nodded. Angie looked at Fiddleford.

“Do ya know when Ma ‘n Pa ‘ll be here?”

“I called everyone when ya told us you were in labor. But 1 am ain’t exactly the time most folks are up.”

“Yeah, I was sleepin, too,” Angie said. She shook her head. “I much prefer my alarm clock to contractions in terms of wakin’ up methods. Less painful.”

“They’re goin’ to be here as soon as they can, but they prob’ly won’t show up ‘til tomorrow,” Fiddleford said. Angie nodded, seeming disappointed. “Aw, shucks, Angie, it’ll be fine. At least two of yer lil daughters’ uncles are here.”

“Yeah…” Fiddleford put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Lil sis, ya did good.” He handed Daisy back to Angie and kissed her on the forehead. “They’re beautiful, Banjey.” Angie smiled at him.

“Thanks, Fidds.”

“Can I hold Danny?” Ford asked Stan. Stan shook his head.

“No dice, Sixer. She’s stayin’ with me.”

“I’m her uncle, though.”

“I’m her dad,” Stan said, holding Danny far away from Ford.

“Stanley, please!” Ford said, attempting to grab his niece. The McGuckets watched them tussle with identical bemused expressions.

“Stanford, I don’t know if this is the best route to take,” Fiddleford started cautiously. Ford didn’t respond. Now being lifted high up in the air, Danny began to squirm and giggle.

“Stan, let Ford hold Danny,” Angie said briskly. “‘Fore ya drop our newborn daughter!” With a sigh, Stan handed Danny to Ford.

“She looks like you, Stan,” Ford said. “But that might just be because of the nose.”

“Nah, she’s too cute to look like me,” Stan said casually. “They take more after their ma in terms of looks. Hopefully, they’ll be smart like her, too.” Angie beckoned Stan over and gave him a kiss.

“It don’t matter who they take after,” she said gently. “They’ll be wonderful either way.”

-----

Later, while Angie was sleeping off twelve hours of childbirth, Stan stood in front of the hospital nursery, watching his newborn daughters. He thought of another pair of twins, born more than twenty-five years ago, one a polydactyl, one not. And he looked at his reflection, a reflection of a man with the same square chin as Filbrick Pines. He placed a hand on the glass.

“I’m not gonna be like him,” Stan whispered. “I won’t. I’ll be there fer ya and protect ya. I’ll be a father, not a deadbeat dad.” He swallowed. “But if, for some reason, I don’t make it, look out fer each other. Don’t let the world rip you apart. Life is an awful lot easier when someone is by yer side. Don’t follow in yer dad’s footsteps, and I won’t follow in mine.” Daisy, who had been sleeping, opened her eyes. Stan blinked back a few tears. “Ya hear me?” he choked out. “You two better stick together. Learn from my mistakes.” He smiled weakly at his daughters. “Who am I kiddin’? Yer already better than me at my best. You’ve got this in the bag, don’t ya?” Daisy waved around tiny fists, and Danica kicked the air excitedly. Stan’s smile grew stronger. “That’s my girl. Fighters, the both of ya.”

#Stanley McGucket AU #Stanley Pines #Stanford Pines #Fiddleford McGucket #Angie McGucket #Stan Pines Farmhand #Gravity Falls #fanfiction #my writing #my stuff #speecher speaks

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no-facts · 3 years

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a 2020 postmortem

How does one make sense of a whole year? Three hundred sixty-five days, fifty-two weeks, twelve months, four seasons. It’s impossible to see it all in one’s head at once, and so the best one can do is to examine it in chunks, sift through it and pick out key events, try to find the gold amidst all the muck.

2020 was not a kind year to most, at least in the US. Global and national events made sure of that. Nevertheless, I had a fairly decent year, and I’m grateful for that. I was born to parents who, although abusive, are wealthy enough that finances have never been a problem, and happened upon a found family to quarantine with, so that I never had to go back to an abusive home.

So here’s a list of noteworthy things that happened to me in 2020.

Relationships

my quasiplatonic partner and I mutually broke up (February)

I started dating someone new (March)

that someone and I mutually broke up (December)

had crushes on seven new people over the course of 2020

two people had crushes on me (that they told me about)

Living Situation

I got a bid from a student co-op associated with my college (January)

I moved into said co-op (February)

my college kicked everyone off campus (March)

ten of us co-op folks fled to a 4-bed 3-bath AirBnB in Vermont (March)

I ended up being the person in charge of finding our fall living situation, and spent dozens of hours of browsing Zillow and Trulia and calling tens of brokers

I found an amazing place, 6 beds 2.5 baths for $4000/month, utilities covered by landlord

seven of us ended up moving to this house in August, and we’ll be here until end of May

Physics

conducted four physics experiments in my lab class before getting kicked off campus (February-March)

taught myself how neural networks worked in two days, having never taken a machine learning class or done any machine learning before (April)

found 3σ evidence for the Higgs boson by using a neural network toanalyze golden channel data from CERN’s Large Hadron Collider (April-May)

wrote three physics papers in the style of the APS Physical Review Letters (March-May)

gave three fifteen-minute talks about these papers (March-May)

gave a public final oral presentation on my Higgs boson neural network analysis (May)

Acting

wrote, performed, and filmed a 48-minute solo performance, for a class on solo performances (May)

landed the role of Fefu in a virtual production of Fefu and Her Friends (September-November)

cast to deliver the monologue “My Vagina Was My Village” in a virtual production of The Vagina Monologues (November; show will be February 2021)

landed the role of 羅伯特 (Robert) in a virtual production of《誰殺了羅伯特》(Who Killed Robert), a Chinese-language comedy from Taiwan (November; show will be March/April 2021)

cast as an actor for a student-run virtual theater show / escape room experience, my first paid acting role (December; show will be January 2021)

auditioned as an actor for a futuristic quest-for-space educational game geared toward grade schoolers; don’t know whether I’ll be cast (December)

Music

started playing piano seriously for the first time since I was seven or so (March)

started playing ukulele (March)

my partner got me a beautiful Luna uke (July)

wrote my first two songs ever (July-August)

learned some Bach, Chopin, and Debussy on the piano (March-December)

Language Learning

started using Anki for Chinese vocabulary learning (May)

memorized forty-six 五言絕句 (five-character quatrains) from 千家詩 (Poems of a Thousand Masters) and 唐詩三百首 (Three Hundred Tang Poems) (June-August, December)

translated a short play (Back Room, by Zhang Xian) from Chinese to English (October-November)

wrote three 800-word Chinese essays and gave a 10-minute oral presentation in Chinese (September-December)

started seriously trying to learn Taiwanese Hokkien (December)

Other Academics/Job-Related Things

was elected House Meeting Co-Chair for my co-op in both semesters (February, September)

was elected spring Retreat Co-Chair for my co-op; the retreat was cancelled due to COVID (February)

landed an undergrad research opportunity for the summer, in the theater department, with my favorite theater professor (with whom I have now done one research opportunity, two classes, and four shows) (June-August)

landed an undergrad research opportunity for the fall, in the economics department (September-December)

started my job search, looking for jobs in hedge funds because I want to make money before I fuck off and go do an MFA in acting (September)

did nine phone interviews and two full afternoons of video interviews at five companies (September-December)

utterly failed to get a single job offer for the entirety of my search so far (September-December)

Miscellaneous

started drinking alcohol and quickly realized that I absolutely hated it (March)

realized that I did like two things: amaretto sours and low-alcohol-content moscato (sometime between March and August)

started having a daily / weekly Bible study with my parents, which, as a former-Christian-turned-agnostic, has been absolutely The Worst (May)

fell head-first into the MDZS/CQL/The Untamed fandom (May)

started doing Core Support Group (a group in which we do core-targeting exercises) with my housemates daily (sometime between May and August)

cooked enough food for ten people, for the first time (sometime between May and August)

started reading poetry on a daily basis (August)

started wearing my school ring on a daily basis (August)

started doing pull-ups on a regular basis (August)

Of all these, probably the most notable is my accidental falling into the MDZS fandom. Fanfiction reading has been an on-and-off addiction of mine since 2012 or 2013, and I’ve cycled through many fandoms, mainly (in roughly chronological order) Hunger Games, Artemis Fowl, LotR/The Hobbit/The Silmarillion, Star Wars (first six movies only), (embarrassingly) Twenty One Pilots, Game of Thrones/ASoIaF, James Bond, Sherlock, (briefly) the Spideypool ship, and finally, MDZS/CQL/The Untamed. Of my 136 pages of Ao3 history, dating back to February 2018, over 40 pages are filled with MDZS fics. I’d say that’s pretty significant. I’ve read more fic in the past seven months than I have since before college, when I had significantly more free time.

I’ve been wondering when my passion for this fandom will cool. My interests wax and wane, and surely at some point I will get sick of this. But perhaps there’s enough ships that I’ll stave off boredom for a while longer. I’ll admit that I’m mainly a WangXian shipper, but I’m definitely partial to XiCheng, ZhuiLing, XueXiao, SongXiao, 3zun. At some point I’m going to go back and read all the extras to MDZS (I skipped those and went straight to all the fanfic, whoops). And I’ve promised myself that I’ll read SVSSS and TGCF at some point...

Anyways. Let me not turn this post into an analysis of my fanfiction habits. All I mean to say is that fanfic has been one of the few things I have really enjoyed this year, and has kept me sane through so much of quarantine.

But I’m hoping for an end to quarantine, and looking forward to perhaps a fun summer in Taiwan (looking at you, CLS program) and hopefully a well-paying job in the fall (D. E. Shaw? Google? Netflix?). Here’s hoping for a smooth vaccine rollout in the US, and a gradual but sure return to normalcy.

Welcome, 2021. May you be a happier year.

#bye2020 #hello2021

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parentingguide8-blog · 5 years

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2018’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!!

New Post has been published on https://parentinguideto.com/trending/2018s-funniest-parenting-tweets-of-the-year/

2018’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!!

All year long we’ve been rounding up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! As 2018 comes to an end, we hope you will enjoy our choices for the funniest parenting tweets of the year!! Thanks for reading and have an amazing 2019!!!

For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!

Sometimes my kids complain about something I tell them to do and I say “hey man, I don’t make the rules!” and then I walk away laughing under my breath because I DO make the rules.

— Brandon Andrina (@proathomedad) March 11, 2018

Sometimes as a parent there are those moments of pure joy & excitement, like when you arrive at a kids’ birthday party & the host says parents don’t have to stay.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 10, 2018

Me pretending that’s not my kid in public pic.twitter.com/iVgBEASlWk

— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) March 8, 2018

How to put on shoes like a 5-year-old:

1) Put on one shoe.

2) Ponder the mysteries of the universe.

3) What shoes?

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 9, 2018

Kids today will never know the struggle of having to go around the house and change every little clock. #DaylightSavings

— Matthew Kabel (@MattKabel) March 11, 2018

Me: Let’s watch the old Mario Bros show on Netflix from when I was a kid!

Daughter: Why is it blurry?

Me: All of the shows used to be blurry.

Daughter: Why is it square?

Me: TV’s used to be square.

Daughter: Why isn’t it funny or good?

Me: YOU MADE ME WATCH CAILLOU!!

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) March 23, 2018

Me after seeing a group of 30 something year old guys gathered to play Pokemon GO: “What a bunch of nerds”

Also me after picking up my son from school today: “CAN YOU TEACH ME TO PLAY FORTNITE RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?

— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) March 19, 2018

My daughter thinks it’s hilarious when I accidentally get her math questions wrong but the joke’s on her because it’s not an accident and she’s on her own for homework for 10 more years.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 19, 2018

My style of parenting can best be described as ‘Max and Ruby’s parents.’

— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) March 24, 2018

My kid just fed me what she said was a raisin. It wasn’t a raisin.

Never, I repeat never, eat anything your kid feeds you without double checking.

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) August 10, 2018

The first time I realized my kids are spoiled was when they started complaining about not being able to skip commercials at a hotel.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 6, 2018

My mom: wow it’s so nice of Jeff to watch your kids for the next few days while you’re gone

Me: yes, he is very excited to continue to be a father

— sleepy mom (@lauratnelson) August 10, 2018

Store clerk: May I help you?

Me: I hope so. Sweetie go get your math homework, this nice woman is going to help us.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 13, 2018

My toddler just looked me straight in the eyes and whispered “I’m NOT crazy.” Which sounds exactly like something a crazy person would do.

— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 19, 2018

Mom: [carries in womb for 10 months, breastfeeds another 12 months, quits job to stay at home and raise our daughter]

Me: [does the going downstairs behind the couch gag]

Daughter: Daddy’s my best friend!

— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) May 15, 2018

My 8yo can’t play video games today, but instead of doing something productive, he’s having his brother loudly narrate his game from the next room.

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 12, 2018

Other women: Nothing is sexier than a dad holding a baby.

Me: Nothing is sexier than my husband using his thundering dad-voice to frighten our children into behaving when I’ve abandoned all hope.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 10, 2018

Me “Go play outside.”

Kids “Ugh it’s too hot!!”

Me “Go!”

Kids “Will you play with us?!”

Me “Outside? No way! It’s way too hot.”

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) May 8, 2018

2yo: “mommy I did it!”

Me: “that’s awesome, buddy I knew you could do it!”

(I have no idea what he did)

— Melissa (@Fiveoclockmommy) May 10, 2018

My kids made me Mother’s Day cards covered in glitter, which is like the opposite of saying I love you.

— Ashnog (@adult_mom) May 14, 2017

My 5yo son just slept-walked into the kitchen, pulled down his pants and peed all over the kitchen table. Glad to hear you are pregnant with your first though.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 4, 2018

My nephews thought my not giving them Easter baskets was an April Fool’s joke, but really it’s because they’re older now.

Aging, the ultimate prank.

— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) April 1, 2018

(both kids screaming from the living room) MONSTERS DON’T SPAWN IN THIS AREA! WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED A TORCH! IF I DIE BECAUSE OF YOU I’M GONNA – JUST DIG AND HIDE! WHERE IS YOUR BASE?

It’s too early for this

— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) April 20, 2018

The kids have been away for a few days and I just found a pair of inside-out pants with underwear still stuck to them in my 5yo’s room and clutched it to my chest like an ex’s hoodie.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 7, 2018

My son asked what sides we were having with dinner like we haven’t had mac & cheese and microwaved green beans with every meal since he was born.

— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) July 17, 2018

https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/1018920271011557377 https://twitter.com/eff_yeah_steph/status/1017722655968059392

Me: (limits screen time)

[5 minutes later]

6: (gets a concussion) Me: That’s it! Everyone back on their tablets!

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 10, 2018

https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4/status/1015071841809981440

My daugjter just ruined Toy Story for ever. She said if one of the toys died Andy wouldnt know and he’d carry on playing with its corpse

— Baron Stigmund (@stiggib3) July 1, 2018

8: “Where’s Dad? I need some help” Me: “I can help you!” 8: “It’s about the TV” Me: 8: Me: “Dad’s upstairs.”

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) June 26, 2018

“Nope.”

~My two-year old, trying to justify he didn’t draw on the table with a red crayon while HOLDING A RED CRAYON.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 9, 2018

Life hack: If you tell the pizza delivery person “Thanks so much, you’re making our Pajama Day awesome!” when you and your toddler answer the door in pj’s, you transform from the mom who couldn’t get her shit together into the fun mom who hosts theme days.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) June 5, 2018

I didn’t realize 80% of song lyrics were inappropriate until I had to listen to them in the car with my kids.

— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) June 8, 2018

My son just said he’s going to call me “Squishy” to match my stomach and now I need to have another kid just so I can have a favorite

— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 3, 2018

Every single conversation I have with my kids pic.twitter.com/osbJEa8E7B

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 1, 2018

After my family finishes dinner. Me: “Anyone want ice cream?” My kids reaction. #LifeofDad pic.twitter.com/N0rZzLJkH7

— DadatWork (@ArtEddy3) August 23, 2018

Damn, looks like I brought the wrong 47 children’s books on our road trip.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 22, 2018

My 5 year old son just asked “what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey’s whole life” and none of the parenting books I’ve read have prepared me for this question.

— Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCaveman) August 26, 2018

BEFORE HAVING KIDS: “I am NEVER making separate meals for my children”

4 YEARS LATER: “Let me repeat your order: tri-color pasta (al dente) with butter & cheese on a bed of string cheese on a fairy plate, cup of water with star-shaped ice cubes, yogurt two ways, Cheez-Its.”

— Bret Turner (@bretjturner) August 15, 2018

*starts my own YouTube channel so my kids will listen to me.

— The Baron (@baronvonbike) August 17, 2018

8yo: Dad, can I eat on the couch? Me: Sure, as long as you’re carefu- 8yo: I spilled my drink Me: Of course

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 31, 2018

Kid: Mom, the light’s on in my closet.

Me: That’s weird. The monster must be looking for something.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) September 19, 2018

In case you wondered what having a boy is like. My son just came down from having a shower and smelled no different than before he went in. I asked if he used soap and he responded “not this time” as if that’s even a thing.

— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) September 24, 2018

You’ll know parents by the way they are compelled to point out any and all cows to anyone who happens to be in the car with them.

— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) September 17, 2018

Kid: *3 and a half seconds after calling me the worst mom ever* Can you make me a snack?

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 14, 2018

Nothing like seeing a new dad at Disney World find out a Mickey shaped balloon with a glow stick in it is $35. Welcome to the club buddy.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 16, 2018

Sometimes I purposefully dress my toddler in mismatched pajamas just to make my wife’s head explode.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 8, 2018

7AM text from mom. Just a quick seven paragraphs.

— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 31, 2018

“How I wonder what you are?”

You literally JUST said it was a little star. Nursery rhymes are dumb.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 29, 2018

Save a ton of time by never unloading groceries again. Just throw the bags of food directly into a teenager’s open mouth.

— Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) October 22, 2018

I finally posted pics of my kids at a pumpkin patch, so I get to stay on Facebook for another year

— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) October 24, 2018

A kids version of the “Saw” movie but they can only escape by eating a sandwich with the crusts on.

— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) October 16, 2018

Ahh, I love the sound of my kids’ screen time in the morning.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 21, 2018

God: You’re in charge of naming all the animals.

Dr. Seuss: That’s a Zizzer Zazzer Zuz. That’s a Phiffer Pheffer Phef. That’s-

God: Nope nope nope. Let’s bring you back later. Adam, you’re up.

— The Dadvocate (@thedadvocate01) October 10, 2018

My kids know to wait until I’m sick to ask me to upgrade all their iPad games.

Why yes, I will pay $9.99 to unlock all the Strawberry Shortcake baking tools if it means a possible 10 minutes of silence.

— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) October 8, 2018

9: Where’s dad? I need his help.

Me: Anything your dad can do, I can do. What do you need?

9: When I flushed the toilet, it keeps rising.

Me: Go find your dad.

— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) September 29, 2018

One time I put the burnt side of a grilled cheese face down on my child’s plate and almost got away with it.

— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) September 24, 2018

https://twitter.com/thisiskacee/status/1065007774713577473

In hind sight “Up your butt and around the corner” was not the best phrase to add to 4’s vocabulary.

But my God, you should have seen Nana’s face when 4 told her where she could find her glasses.

Worth. It.

— Mom Jeans Please (@momjeansplease) November 20, 2018

CONFUSED SHOPPER DAD: should i buy the odorless candle or the apple-cinnamon candle?

OTHER SHOPPER DAD: apple-cinnamon. it makes more scents!

*tremendous high five attempt, but they whiff*

— TuSoon Shakur (@TuSoonShakur) November 12, 2018

Daughter: can you make me a sandwich?

Me: poof you’re a sandwich lol.

Daughter:

Me:

Daughter: MOM HE’S DOING THAT THING AGAIN.

— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 7, 2018

8yo: Mom, will you put ketchup on my hotdog?

Me: You’re old enough to do it yourself.

8yo: pic.twitter.com/WfXA9pepJX

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 5, 2018

Me: *reads first four words of children’s book* 2-year-old: “Why?”

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 1, 2018

We’re going to an amusement park tomorrow.

So today we’re busy threatening to not go to the amusement park tomorrow.

— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 3, 2018

There is no one more drunk with power than a 3 year old who can finally reach the water dispenser on the refrigerator. 6 cups in 5 minutes and counting…

— Mom Jeans Please (@momjeansplease) November 1, 2018

My husband was looking at his fantasy football scoreboard and my 9yo came up and started reading the team names and said “What’s Finger Bangers?” and I think we all aged a little in that moment.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 6, 2018

mom: call your grandmother, she sent you a birthday card with $10

me: ok

[later]

me: hey grandma

grandma: hello dear

me: i need more money, this isn’t 1842

— The Hype (@TheHyyyype) December 4, 2018

Welcome to parenthood, you need to flush the toilet before you use it too.

— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) November 29, 2018

SANTA: what would you like for Christmas? *child hands Santa a note*

“Please look after Melissa. I need a couple of hours to shop and maybe get a coffee. Also, she’s lactose intolerant.”

SANTA, to elf: put her with the others

— Bison (@McGrumpenstein) December 8, 2018

Special shout out to the kid at my son’s elementary school concert who threw his arms into a cross and yelled “Wakanda Forever!” at the end of his performance.

— Heather M. Jones (@hmjoneswriter) December 14, 2018

Last Friday, my daughter’s teacher mentioned to me how nice it is to see how well my kids get along & love each while at school. Now if you’ll excuse me, my daughter just punched my son in the groin for using the pencil crayon she wasn’t even using…

— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) December 17, 2018

There’s always the ‘Funniest parenting tweets of the week’ but never the ‘Funniest guy living alone in basement apartment tweets of the week’, heck this.

— Matt (@Stap_Jr) September 11, 2018

The post 2018’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!! appeared first on Life of Dad.

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2018’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!!

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