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nanaminsmoon · 10 months

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𝐧𝐨 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝.

a/n: i’m not in love with this but i’ve been writing it for too long and i just need to not worry about it anymore:))and sorry it’s so long.

cw: oral (f receiving), public (it’s a house but it ain’t yours soo..), finger sucking, connie is toxic and manipulative, connie calls reader; ‘ma’, ‘mama’, ‘mi amor’, and ‘baby’, n word usage.

wc: 4272...

pt.2

you and connie had been ‘separated’ for a few months now. that is, if you were even together in the first place. in your head, he had been your boyfriend for nearly 5 months. but, in his mind, he had been a single man for all that time, and he had been acting accordingly. upon finding that out, you cut him off. as well as anyone who associated with him. all his friends had known of his shenanigans and none of them decided to say anything. that didn’t surprise you because obviously his boys are gonna back him over you, they’re his friends. but the salt in the wound was how they treated you during that duration. telling you things like; ”we’ve never seen him act like this with anyone. he’s just different around you”. which, looking back on it now, you should’ve known was just lies to reassure you so their boy could run around hoeing in peace.

the party was on a saturday, and mikasa came by to pick you up. well, ony drove her to your apartment to pick you up so you wouldn’t have to enter the party on your own. and the drive was very silent because you hadn’t spoken to ony since before you and connie ‘broke up’. so he wasn’t sure what to say, simply stealing glances at you through the rear view mirror, before he sighed deeply and finally spoke.

the final straw that cemented the decision to block him was a girl he had been fucking around with, ‘coming to you as a woman’. you didn’t even give him time to explain himself, just blocking him and anyone you had met through him. even mikasa who you had grown very close with; you just wanted anything connie out of your life so you could move on. but there was no bad blood there, and that’s why she felt comfortable enough to invite you to her birthday party. your first instinct was to decline, but then you decided that you weren’t going to let some nigga you weren’t even involved with anymore affect your life, so you agreed.

“look, y/n, i’m sorry i—”, he started but you rolled your eyes, and spoke over him.

“focus on driving, ony. i’m just here for mikasa.”, he nodded at you, diverting his gaze back to the road. and mikasa turned back at you, mouthing a stern ’be nice!’, which you also rolled your eyes at.

maybe it was just paranoia, but you thought you saw lips that were very similar to connie’s with a blunt hanging from them. but you shrugged it off, and carried on enjoying your night. that was until you made your way to the bathroom, looking over your shoulder every five seconds to make sure no one was behind you. and there hadn’t been, but you had been in there for like 2 minutes before you heard heavy knocks on the door. luckily you were basically done, and when you went to open the door, you were met with a familiar ‘cs’ chain.

thankfully, your arrival at mikasa’s house was a quick one. and, even though the birthday girl wasn’t even there, everyone seemed to be having a good time—smoking, dancing and drinking. mikasa’s parents had money, so their house was in a pretty isolated area, and everyone was taking full advantage of the fact that there would be no noise complaints. but you remained pretty quiet and composed, pulling your skirt down whenever you saw weirdos looking at you. although the perpertrator was unknown, you could feel two holes being burnt into any bit of exposed skin on your body. you hoped it wasn’t who you thought it was, but mikasa had reassured you that his presence had been sacrificed so you could attend.

“fuck off connie”, you didn’t even look up as you walked to push past him. but he placed a hand on the doorframe, blocking you, before pushing you inside the bathroom. locking the door behind him once inside.

“the fuck’s your problem?”, he started and you scoffed at him. your eyes finally met his; slightly red, and evidently agitated.

“you’re the one who’s been staring me down all night, the fuck you mean my problem? what’s your problem?”, you crossed your arms, and he chuckled at you.

“you block me and my friends without saying anything, then you show up again a few months later”, he walked closer to you, making the gap between your bodies a mere few inches. there was no space to escape him, so you just opted to turn your head to the side.

“you didn’t deserve the closure.”, you spoke quietly, and he scoffed again.

“the fuck did i do?”, he grabbed your jaw and turned your head. damn this man was fine.

“you know what you did. and so does she. or however many of them there were”,

“the fuck are you talking about? y/n, it’s always been you. you know that. my friends knew that. yeah, i spoke to that girl, but it was always you i really wanted. i just didn’t know how to express it. i’ve never done this before, so i just didn’t know how to be a good boyfriend. but i can do better. for you, i’ll be better”, this man was just spitting out phrases from the man whore encyclopedia and it was hilarious to you.

“i don’t know how i didn’t see through this before” , you laughed out, and his grip on your jaw tightened, “give up, connie, we’re done.”, you spoke out, and he rolled his eyes at you.

“says who?”,

“me, nigga. now move.”, you ripped his hands off you, and made your way to the door. but your wrist was in his hand before that could happen.

”c’mon ma, don’t be like that. you know how i feel about you.”,

”do i?”, your features twisted at his ridiculous words.

”don’t play like you don’t when you know you do”, he smirked at you, ”and if you don’t, then i’m down to show you”, he lifted your hand to kiss it, but you yanked it from him before it reached his lips.

”bro just leave me alone”, you kissed your teeth, and went to walk out.

connie knew he had you where he wanted you, he never had to do much to you. and that’s what he loved; how sensitive you were to his every touch. every kiss he stamped onto your skin, as his fingers continued making light work of unravelling you through your damp underwear. every light nibble to your earlobe, or your neck. not even the space behind your ears went neglected, also being rewarded a wet kiss, as he fought to keep composure. the sound of your moans and your scent; a sweet culmination of vanilla and cocoa he had grown to miss more than he cared to admit. all of it was making his dick grow harder in his boxers. your breathy whimpers held a strong contrast to the briny words you were throwing towards him a few minutes ago, and that amused him.

as always, things didn’t end until connie wanted them to, and he was nowhere near done with you. so before your hand even reached the door handle, his had wrapped around your throat, turning you around to crash into his lips. he gave no warning before his tongue was entering your mouth, slowly moving with yours. the taste, and faint smell, of whatever alcohol he had been drinking entered your mouth—spreading through your senses to cloud them. your mind told you to pull away and walk away from connie for good, but the heat between your legs begged you to do the opposite. its argument growing louder once his hands lifted your skirt up, and started rubbing your clit through your, now soaked, thong. no amount of willpower could possess enough strength to stop your hands from finding his nape, or producing light gasps interlaced with whimpering moans of need.

”still want me to leave you alone?”, he chuckled,

”y-yes”, you tried to say, through laboured breaths.

”really? all that moaning you doin’, i wouldn’t have guessed”, his free hand slid your shirt up, and he smirked to himself at you not wearing a bra.

any other day, connie would’ve teased you until you literally got on your knees before him and begged him for relief; promising him anything and everything in the process. but his jeans had gotten significantly tighter, and denying you would be denying himself. so his lips gifted a final kiss to both your nipples, before they began trailing wet kisses down your stomach. sucking ever so often. he pulled your skirt to sit near your belly button, and he had to refrain from laughing at how compliant you were being. though your words expressed disdain, your body wouldn’t pull you away from his touch. even as he lowered himself to kneel on one knee, and set his hand behind your thigh—gently tracing it up and down the back of it. eyes glued on yours—he watched your pupils navigate the room in a futile attempt to escape the chills his hands served you. gentle fingertips were replaced by pink lips, scattering kisses on your skin. beginning at the end of your boot, and languidly moving upwards. jealousy had washed away his aggression control, and he marked you like he was a man you had sworn your life to.

”i’m not moan—”, your rebuttals were cut short by the shrill moan that ran out of your mouth at his cold caps nipping at your bare nipple. one of his hands feeding your other nipple teasing pinches and rubs.

”don’t say i don’t care about you, ma. you have no idea how hurt i was seeing all those guys looking at you earlier. looking at these thighs”, his voice was low, gravelly, and somewhat muffled by your thighs, “my thighs. and you just let them. d’you know how that makes me feel, mi amor?”, connie pouted against your freshly bruised skin.

because your moans would not stop. you thought they were quieter than they really were, until you heard them bouncing off the tiled walls. and connie could see it; he could feel the battle between your pride and your body emanating off of you. and the fact that he was making you feel good, despite you claiming to hate him, was the radioactive fuel that fed the cocky fire in his stomach.

”and i’ll d-do it ag-gain. n-nigga.”, that comment had to fight for its exit, but you would maintain your agitated front. no matter how stupid it made you look.

”wan’ me to leave you alone?”, he hummed against your flaming skin—purposely entertaining your mid-thigh for far too long. and you whined out in response—no matter how bad you needed him, you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that. but connie wasn’t one for disobedience, you had always known that.

”you know how i get about you using your words, ma.”, he tsked, and you whimpered down at him. you hated when connie did this shit. but he just continued,

“now, i’ll ask you again. still want me to leave you alone?”, he licked the wetness gathering at the front of your underwear. fingers pressing into the fresh markings of his possession.

”i want you to—to…”, you began, but were soon distracted by the picking up one of your legs, before connie slung it over his shoulder.

“go on, i’m listening. you want me to what?”, his eyes were glued to the wet patch on your thong as he pushed it aside. his caps making an appearance when his teeth sandwiched his bottom lip between themselves at the sight of how wet you already were.

”i want-t you…”, again, your words were cut short by connie gently spreading you open, and blowing onto your aching bud before planting a kiss on it.

”mm hmm, i want you too, mama”, his kisses grew harsher before he swirled his tongue around it, sending a bone chilling electrical current up your spine.

”n-no, connie. i want y-you…t…”, your words were struggling to come out, because your vocal cords were straining themselves to not moan this man’s name, and beg him for more.

”that’s my girl. i knew you’d come to your senses”, starting at your contracting hole, he licked a stripe up your slit. ending it with his plump lips embracing your clit, and sucking on it. his lips gently held it, as he swirled his tongue all over it. now, the only sounds present in that room were the moans forcing themselves past your glossed lips, and the loud pop created by connie pulling his mouth off you.

his mouth focused on your clit, as his ring finger entered you. your back arched as you clenched around his digit, and connie’s confidence grew higher than it already had been…somehow. so it wasn’t long before another digit entered you, curling to induce a cry from your lips.

”y’know you the only girl who could get me on my knees?”, his eyes looked devilish as they looked up to you, ”’cause i’d do anything for this pussy. you're so mean for taking it away from me, ma”, his feigned pout only lasted a few seconds before he was lapping up your wetness on his tongue, and tongue fucking your hole.

”c-connie, please”, you hands ran through his buzzcut as his mouth continued working you towards your orgasm.

”connie, i’m—fuck—i’m gonna cum, p-please”, you pleaded. but things were never easy with connie, and as soon as he heard your pleas, he pulled away from you. his fingers retreated before he stood to his full height, smirking down at your abashed expression.

”open your mouth”, he ordered, and you shook your head. but connie didn’t have time for your shit, and his dry hand grabbed your jaw. squeezing your cheeks to open your mouth himself and, at that point, you had no choice but to acquiesce. a smile graced his face once you did, before he inserted his fingers in between your lips.

”suck ‘em”, he commanded, and you listened. moaning a little when you tasted your own arousal on your tastebuds. but connie wasn’t satisfied.

”use more spit, ma, you know i love when you’re messy for me”, and you did. frothy drool, dripping from the sides of your mouth. landing on your shirt, and sliding all over your chin. connie’s dick twitching made him greedy; he may have wanted your first nut to be around him, but he missed your head, and he needed to see you gag around something before he fucked you. so his fingers pressed a little harder on your tongue, before he pushed them a little further back. feeling the way your throat wrapped around his fingers so nicely.

you had forgotten how big, and pretty, connie’s dick was until he pulled it out of his jeans and your eyes widened. his tip was a very deep shade of pink, and glistening at the tip. and his thumb ran over the pre-cum staring at you, screaming an open invite for you to lick it clean, and he rubbed it all over his long length. connie threw his head back, he knew how much you loved the sight of him stroking his dick; he’d sent you video after video of him doing it. but he also knew the way it made your insides boil, green eyes staring at his hand moving up and down.

”if i didn’t know how good this pussy was, i’d fuck your throat right now”, were his words before he pulled his fingers from your throat to messily kiss your lips.

even though he claimed he cared about you, connie fucked you like he hated you. the flesh on your ass reverberated against his hips and stomach with every thrust, and it made connie’s teeth clench as he lifted his hand to slap your ass cheeks. leaving them stinging, only to quickly sooth them with his large palms. the orgasm he had stolen from you a few minutes ago began building again, and it felt more intense than the last one. connie could see it all; he could see it in your furrowed eyebrows and in your teeth sinking into the skin under your lip.

”it’s yours, ma.”, he moaned out, ”you know it better than i do, so give it what it wants.”, his words beguiled you, and you lifted your hand to stroke him. flicking your wrist in the way you know he loved it, and a deep groan rose from his lips, to meet the ceiling. the warmth of your palm around him only made him want you more, so he moved it from himself, and turned you around. instead placing your palms on the marble surrounding the sink, and sliding your thong to the side. his tip teased your entrance for a brief few moments, connie’s eyes watching your face in the mirror in front of you, and smiling to himself before he slammed inside you.

your first nut took all the power from your body, as you twitched around connie and practically screamed his name. infinitely grateful for the loud music playing outside,

”’f you wanna cum, you gotta let me hear you, mama.”, he kissed the side of your neck, sucking on it, before his hips stopped. when you looked up at his reflection, you saw that he meant the words he had said to you, so you nodded to him, and he began moving slowly. instinctually, your body moved you back onto him, chasing that release you yearned for so badly as loud moans of his name, mixed with obscenities left your mouth. the corners of connie’s lips rose, and his thrusts hastened immediately.

”connie, p-please, wait-t”, you placed your hand on his lower abdomen, but it was quickly removed by connie’s tatted one. it engulfed yours as he put it back on the counter, caging it with his own. he was still fucking you like there was no tomorrow and he had to fuck you out of your mind today, or he’d never get the chance to do it ever again. his tip ambushed that spongy spot inside you, sending your body into the sink basin as your orgasm lurched you forwards—your arousal sprayed all over the floor, and connie’s shoes. he kissed his teeth, before slamming into you harder.

”c-con, your shoes.”, you looked down apologetically, and his head shook behind you.

”fuck the shoes, mama. this pussy worth so much more than them. i’ll fuck you good, and you’ll buy me new ones, yeah?”, his hands wrapped around your jaw, his tongue meeting the skin on your neck, and you just nodded furiously. when his hand moved from you, your head bowed once again.

”look at me, y/n.”, you lifted your head to meet his eyes in the mirror, ”you still don’t see how i feel about you? you don’t see how fucked up this pussy got me?”, there was an odd sense of security in his eyes, but you knew it was a false one. it had roped you in before, but not this time; as truthful as his words sounded, you knew better now.

”and you took all this away from me because of some bitch?”, he kissed the shell of your ear, ”what happened to my good girl? she would never do that to me”, he pouted again. fucking into you with reckless abandon, muttering whatever bullshit came to mind under his breath. from the few words you could discern, it sounded like he was talking about the girl who had told you about his antics.

”what was her name, mama? tell me”, he crooned in your ear, and judging by the fucked out look in your face, he could tell you didn't know. he was so happy seeing your eyebrows scrunched, deep in thought, but all that effort being tossed out bit by bit, with his every thrust.

”tell me who she was, and i’ll fuck her up. i promise you.”,

”i don’t-t remem-mber”, you stuttered.

”oh, you forgot?”, he crooned, ”doing all this shit? blocking me, ignoring me, taking my fucking pussy from me. over some bitch whose name you don’t even fucking know”, his words were spaced out by harsh thrusts; one hand on your hip and the other on your shoulder. it was funny to you how he was making you feel the repercussions of his actions. punishing you when he was the reason you had separated in the first place.

all your friends had told you to stay away from connie because he brought nothing but stress. and you had tried, but anytime you tried to have that conversation with him, he would fuck you stupid and you’d end up cuddling and pretending nothing happened. and that process would repeat itself. but this would be the last time; you’d let connie think he had you back just this once, then you’d leave him for good…

he picked you up to put you on the sink, before he positioned his tip at your weeping entrance, and lifted you off the marble. his hands weaved under your legs to sit on your waist, shifting all your weight onto his dick. your legs hung over his arms, thighs smacking against his biceps as he just lifted and fucked into you like you were no more than some silicone. connie was just so lost in it; so lost in you. he should’ve been used to how wet and tight you felt, by now, but his dick still pulsated on its own at the feeling you were giving him. pulsations turned to throbbing when his eyes dropped to look at the white ring of both of your arousal accumulating at the base of his dick, and a deep sigh left his mouth without his knowledge.

right after you let him pick you up and use you as a human flesh light.

”fuck.”, he whispered. he could get pussy anytime he wanted, but yours made anything else pale in comparison. he had always thought that he didn’t need you to trust or love him; he had never asked that of you. but your absence was felt more than your presence. your smile, your texts, your calls, and the way you needed him like he’d never been needed before. he knew he had messed up, but he just needed one more chance. and he’d get that by making you miss him as much as he’d missed you.

”look down at it, ma.”, his legs were losing their strength at how good you felt, so he leant you against the sink once again. meeting your lips as soon as he had, **before his hand rose to the back of your head to push it to look down at where you two connected,

soon, his lips returned to your neck—kissing and biting it. with how sloppy and wet the kisses were, as well as the dramatic change in the rhythm of his thrusts, you knew connie was close. but you didn’t realise how close he was until you came around him, your head leaning back to rest on your shoulders. and when you lifted it to look at the man in front of you, you saw a glimpse of him biting his lip harshly, before you were met with the crown of his head. a word that faintly sounded like ’love’ left his mouth when he came, but the feeling of his seed filling you; warming you from the inside out had been the star of your undivided attention. an ambiguous silence filled the bathroom once you both finished, only slightly masked by your heaving breaths. amplifying your gasps when a knock resounded from outside. as if nothing happened, you jumped from the counter, and covered your cum filled hole with your underwear. wincing at the new sensation before making your way to the door—leaving connie to get himself together.

”still don’t see how i feel about you?”, connie’s words were straining in a strange mix of lust, and affection, “see how good you take me? it’s like you were made f’r me, baby. how could i not love you?”. your muscles contracted at that word ‘love’. it was one connie had never said to you when you were together, and you knew he was using it now to get you back. but it meant nothing to you.

”we really are done.”, you spoke with your back to him.

”yeah we are…”, your newfound freedom from this man had your eyes lighting up in both surprise and relief. but, as always, your hopes and dreams were shot down by his next words,

”for now.”

#nanaminsmooninc #aot x black reader #aot x black y/n #connie springer x black reader #connie x black y/n #connie x black reader #connie smut #connie springer #aot connie

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patrophthia · 1 year

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how you get the girl | regulus black

pairing: CFO!regulus black x best friend!reader

genre: fluff, song fic, love confession under the rain, more fluffffff, muggle CFO!au where the marauders all work together, regulus being babied (as he should) golden retriever reg, not beta read

wc: 1.7k?

this is request ! thank u for sending it in, i know this is a month late but here it is anyways!!

Working for the Black brothers had its perks, you’re well paid, you get to travel quite often for work, you’ve met tons of celebrities due to your line of work, and most importantly, you get to put them in their place —though you call this the best friend privilege.

Talk about a work life balance.

Black was at its highest peak when Regulus’ father passed away, leaving his two sons to step in and do the job as the CEO and CFO of their family’s luxury brand.

Their positions were set in stone, Sirius will be leading the company as a CEO and Regulus will be by his side as the CFO. And Sirius, with the amount of power he has, was quick to think of you when it came to choosing an assistant for his brother.

Because —and this was his logic— if you’ve tolerated being friends with him for as long as you’ve had, you’d be able to handle his princess attitude when it came to work.

And seeing as you were quite literally jobless at the time, the prospect of working for/with (the lines between those two were thin) your best friend did not seem bad at all.

“Where are you going?”

You turn back to the owner of the voice, Regulus lingering by his office’s door. “To grab a snack.”

“It’s dinner time,” he says, as if he’s only remembering it now.

“Yeah smart ass,” you fix him a look. “That’s why I’m going to grab a snack.”

Regulus doesn’t look all too pleased, “wait here.”

You contemplate doing as you’re told or just heading towards one of the vending machines so you could get back to work.

Regulus comes back out, his coat, and yours, in hand as he picks up your purse. He makes his way towards you, helping you into your coat despite your confused stare before slipping his own on. “We’re going to dinner.”

“Are you paying?” You were a simple person. A free meal is a free meal. So when Regulus nods, you smile at him. “Let’s go.”

The two of you begin walking towards the elevator, a few employees bidding goodbyes and good nights here and there. “Have you thought about it?”

“About?” Regulus murmurs, unsure of what you’re trying to say.

“That girl?” You say in a questioning tone, a bit muddled by his cluelessness. “The one Sirius said you liked?”

Sirius and his constantly running mouth. Why did Regulus ever tell his brother that he had his eyes set on someone he’d never understand. He made a stupid decision and now he has to face its consequences.

“Oh.” He says as if he’s only remembering it now, as if that ‘girl’ wasn’t standing besides him as he attempts to take her out to dinner. “What about her?”

You turn to look at him and Regulus can’t help but turn to meet your eyes in return. “Have you thought about how you’d get the girl?”

“Not really.” The elevator dings, the door opens and you were quickly greeted by James who was not only a friend of Sirius but a model who was married to one of Black’s most well known designers. “Should I have?”

“Should you have what?” James asks.

You turn to James. “Think about how he’d get the girl.”

“Oh really?” He says in a knowing tone. “Well isn’t this exciting?”

“Don’t start Potter,” Regulus clearly annoyed, the amused smiles on the other two occupying the elevator not missed by him. “Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you be home with Harry?”

“Don’t try to change the topic,” James says with a slight frown. “You know I could always give your advice, right?”

Begrudgingly, Regulus nods. “Yes.”

You grin, finding the situation more than entertaining. Ever since Regulus stepped up as the CFO in a company where most of his brother’s friends worked at, he was more often than not, babied. And you can’t help but find it a bit adorable.

“Good,” James says. The elevator door dings again, signalling that they’ve finally made it to their destination. “Now give the lady her purse back.”

It was only then you’d realised that you never took your stuff off of Regulus’ hands, him having held onto it without a single complaint.

“Are you going to dinner?” A nod from the both of you had James stepping out of the elevator. “Have fun on your date!”

There’s no point in correcting him, it has happened a hundred times by now. Whenever you and Regulus had plans, the Marauders — a team consisting of the CEO, two models (James and Remus), and one designer, never failed to call it a date.

You meet Reg’s eyes with a small smile. “Shall we get started on our date?”

Regulus fiddles with your bag still in his hand. A bag he’d asked Lily to design specifically for you. He returns your smile. “Lead the way.”

Half a year of —what Sirius had called mindless pining later, Regulus finally caved in and went to his brother’s only married friend for advice.

Once he heard James’ ‘advice’ he wishes more than anything to forget everything he’d said, and to not even attempt it had it not been Lily and Dorcas saying that it worked on them.

Marlene had used the same methods as James to get the girl. So if it had worked twice then surely it would work again, right?

Step one should in theory be easy. Rain was romantic, or at least it ideally is (as seen in chick flick), so ultimately, a confession under the pouring rain should do the trick.

“You’re going to stand there and you’re going to tell her how you feel,” James says sternly. “You’re going to tell her what you want. That’s how you get the girl.”

For some reason he doesn’t really believe him. But Sirius is patting him encouragingly on the back so he lets the fantasy of being swept away during a rainstorm mid confession fade away.

He was going to make this work.

The weather forecast was right. Today would be a rainy night, not too harsh but not a sprinkling either, it was perfect for him to try to win you over. Or at least try to.

You were quick to open your door, not wasting a single second after him having rang your bell. “Regulus?” You ask, and when he doesn’t make the move to come in during the pouring rain, you follow up. “What are you doing? Get in.”

The rain is now drenching his very expensive shoes. The droplets are cold, the wind is harsh, he was going pale, practically shivering but he was not going to give up so soon. “I need to talk to you,” he says, not moving an inch.

“Yeah we can do that in here,” you say, clearly concerned for your friend. “Are you insane?”

Regulus shakes his head, and you decide you’ve had enough, stepping into your home to grab an umbrella before running towards him, you quickly pull him into your house —not without reprimanding him.

“What were you thinking?” You scold. “What’s so important you have to talk to me right now? In the pouring rain too.”

Regulus finds that he likes it better when you’re like this. When you’ve yelling at him as you wrap a towel around him. This was why he loved you, you cared for him in every way that is nowhere near artificial. And he’s known that for a while now. So it was about time he did something about it.

“I love you.”

You pause in your step. Regulus assumes that you were on your way to find him something to change into based on your direction. You resume your way into your bedroom where a set of spare pyjamas were reserved for Regulus. Muttering about how much of an idiot he was on the way.

You return soon after, pyjamas in hand. “Go shower, change. Then we’ll talk.”

Again, Regulus finds himself being babied, this time though, instead of being babied by his brother and his friends, he was being babied by you. And he doesn’t think he minds it all too much.

You sit him down at your vanity when he was done, a hand reaching for your hair dryer. “You shouldn’t say stuff like that,” you tell him after a while, your hand roaming around his curls as you attempt to dry it. “It’s not funny.”

Bewilderedly, Regulus says. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

“Really?” You laugh dryly. You then tsked, going over your words. “Then what about that girl? From a few months back?”

“That was you,” he says after a beat. “It’s always been you.”

You pull your hands away from him, setting the hairdryer down as you look at him, settling yourself on your vanity. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

He doesn’t fully understand what was going on but based on your words, and what he considers context clues, you might just reciprocate his feelings. “Because, I didn’t know how to.”

You purse your lips. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“And it won’t,” Regulus says, cautiously reaching for your hand. You let him take it. “I want you for better or for worse and if you’re scared what might happen between us ruining our friendship then we can take it slow, I’d wait forever and ever for this.”

Black family and their flair for dramatics, huh?

“Okay, let’s do this.” You take a deep breath. “Only if you promise me one thing though.”

Regulus brings your hand up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss on it. “Anything.”

“Don’t do that again,” you tell him. “I’m not going to work for you if you have a massive cold, let alone kiss you.”

“I promise,” Regulus says, smiling. “Now can I kiss you?”

You nod, pushing yourself off of the vanity and closer to him, Regulus places a careful hand on your waist and pulls you in, just a second before your lips touch you hear a sniffle, and then, inevitably, Regulus shifts to his side, sneezing loudly.

When he looks back at you, his nose is red, his lips are prominent pout as he processes the fact that you won’t be kissing anytime soon.

You pat his cheeks (or cheekbones really). “Next time,” you tell him. “If you’ve waited half a year to tell me you love me then you can wait a week to kiss me.”

—from bee: i wrote this at 2am im tired help

#regulus black scenarios #regulus black x yn #regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #regulus black fluff #regulus black humor #regulus black imagines #regulus black fanfiction #regulus black x female reader #regulus black angst #Spotify #🧳: my writing

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mint-yooxgi · 11 months

Text

{10} - Paradise Gardens - Yandere!Demonic Entities!Ateez X Reader

Yandere AU & Demon AU - Book Two to Hotel California

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humour

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Focus on San, and slight focus on Hongjoong, and a bit of Yeosang at the end)

Words: 11,371

Warnings: Mental Illness. PTSD: mentions of past trauma and violence, anxiety, depression. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: I honestly wasn't expecting for this chapter to even be a thing, but I think it's much needed in terms of plot and character development, so I really hope you all enjoy it! Plus, Wooyoung smut next chapter~ 👀 As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Also, gentle reminder that I don’t do tag lists.

Mini Masterlist - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine

Standing just outside the entrance to the garden, there’s a certain intensity that lingers on your features. Your eyes remain fixated on the golden handles, practically glaring down at them as your brows furrow in concentration. A slight frown pulls at your lips, but still, you, nor the doors, move.

“Practicing your telekinesis, Baby?” A soft chuckle sounds from behind you.

You blink, but do not respond, opting to continue staring intently at the handles of the door.

“I think Jongho’s blood has long since left your system.” San steps in beside you, amusement tugging his lips upwards in the corners. “Besides, I’m not sure if it would even be capable of giving you such a power.”

“It’s not that,” you sigh, finally shifting your gaze from the door and towards your feet.

Immediately, concern is pulling at his features as his one hand finds purchase on your lower back. “Then, what is it?”

You spare a glance at him out of the corner of your eyes, your shoulders deflating all the while. It’s been two days since Jongho made a full recovery, you having pulled him out of the veil between worlds. You thought it would be a good idea to slowly reintroduce yourself to certain places in the house, but unfortunately, you seem to be having some difficulties. Perhaps starting with the garden was not the wisest decision.

“You’ve been glaring at the door to the garden for the past twenty minutes.” San says, his thumb gently stroking against your back. “If you’re not ready, don’t force yourself-“

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, San.” Your voice is small, but you still manage to cut him off. “There’s not really a good timeline I can follow. I just don’t want her to have a hold on me any longer. It’s not fair to any of us.”

He smiles assuringly at you. “I understand.”

“I just didn’t realize how difficult it would be.” Again, you avert your gaze to your feet.

“I’m right here, Baby.” His fingers press the slightest bit firmer into your back. “I won’t let anything hurt you. I promise.”

Raising your head, you spare him a small smile. Subconsciously, you lean into his touch.

“What brings you to the garden, anyways?” You decide a slight change in subject might help distract you.

“Me?” His eyebrows quirk upwards slightly. “I came to check on my plants.”

Your eyes widen in genuine surprise. “Your plants?”

“Yes.” He grins, a slight chuckle falling from his lips. “My plants.”

At your quizzical look, he’s quick to shift his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer into his side.

“Fruits, vegetables, you name it,” he tells you. “I grow them all.”

“Really?”

There’s a genuine curiosity in your voice that he hasn’t heard for quite some time now, which only makes his smile widen. “Would you like to see?”

At your eager nod, San shifts forward, opening the door to the garden and helping you step through the threshold. His arm never leaves your body for one second, guiding you through the flowers and to the greenhouse in the back corner.

You don’t realize how tense you become as soon as you step foot into the garden, but San does. Your eyes flit every which way, taking in all of the details of the once decimated space and noticing how everything looks exactly as it did before Miyeon destroyed it. There’s even a few different types of flowers blooming around the place now, including snapdragons and hyacinths.

Your breath hitches in your throat.

The moment your sight lands on that sparkling fountain in the centre of the garden, you stop breathing. You haven’t even realized that you’ve frozen to your spot, planting your feet firmly on the ground as you stare at that mass monument before you. Only when you see San stepping in front of you, gently guiding your gaze to his own do you register the sudden way your chest heaves with shallow breaths, the male cooing to you all the while.

“It’s okay, Baby.” He assures you lowly, noting the way your gaze continually wants to dart passed him and back to the fountain behind him.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” His hold is gentle on your arms as he stands before you, and that’s when you realize that you can no longer hear the sound of trickling water echoing throughout the space.

The water hovers there, as if frozen in time, yet not solid like ice. It is suspended in a state of limbo, and you just know that the male standing before you has everything to do with it.

“Just keep your eyes on me, Baby.” He begins to slowly walk backwards, guiding you through the garden and past the fountain. “I’ve got you. I promise nothing will harm you here again.”

You keep your eyes locked on his, the soft brown of his irises peering out at you through a concerned brow.

“That’s it,” gently, he encourages you. “We’re almost there.”

It’s brief, but you still manage to nod. Your breathing seems to be evening out, too.

“You’re doing so well, Baby.” His voice is tender, his hands sliding down your arms in order to hold your own in his. He squeezes them softly. “Just keep your eyes on me.”

Again, you nod, swallowing lightly as you reach the greenhouse.

Shifting both of your hands to his right one, San reaches behind him with the greatest of ease to open the door to the greenhouse. He doesn’t even need to look behind him as he guides you inside, giving your hands another small reassuring squeeze as the door falls shut quietly behind you.

“There,” he smiles. “Safe and sound.”

You smile weakly in return.

“That wasn’t so bad, now, was it?” He gently shakes you hands still held in his own.

“No,” you take a deep breath, the smell of crisp apples, along with various other fruits greeting your senses almost immediately. “I suppose not.”

“I’m so proud of you, Baby.” San’s voice is but a whisper as he brings a hand up to cup the side of your face.

Your eyes flutter shut, leaning into his touch more than you realize.

“Thank you, San.” You breathe out, heart rate finally returning to normal the more time you spend with him like this. “It may not have been perfect for my first try, but I’m glad you’re with me.”

“Of course, Baby,” his thumb strokes tenderly over your cheek. “I will always be here for you; I’m glad I could help.”

A brief silence settles over the both of you as you let the moment linger. Your breathing evens out, shoulders relaxing as he continues to observe you carefully.

“So,” you blink a few times in mild curiosity, attempting not to let your gaze wander too much. “Your plants?”

“Ah, right!” His whole demeanour perks up. “What would you like to see first?”

“Anything and everything you wish to show me.”

The smile that stretches across his face lights up the whole greenhouse. Gently, he shifts his hand back into your own, pulling you along with him as he guides you through a space which appears much larger on the inside than the outside. Certain plants are grouped together based on climate and soil conditions, and you notice the slightest changes in temperature around them. It’s as if those particular sections are weather controlled to be different than the others around them.

Looks like their magic runs deeper than you could have ever imagined.

“I’ve always grown the basics,” he explains, leading you through his vegetable garden. “Sometimes it changes depending on the season, or what we all feel like having, but I always have tomatoes, lettuce, spinach, carrots, zucchini, cucumbers, and bell peppers.”

San takes a moment to crouch down in front of his tomato plants, running his fingers gently over the leaves and pruning a few while he’s at it. Softly, he coos to the fruit, and the small encouragements he seems to give the plants makes you smile.

“How long have you had them?” Your awe filled gaze sweeps over the produce before you, taking in the vibrance of their leaves and the quantity of their fruit.

“Ever since I got into cooking,” he explains, watching you fondly. “So, my whole life.”

“Wow,” you breathe, turning to face him once more. “You’re incredible, Baby!”

Immediately, a vibrant blush begins to creep up his neck, settling onto his cheeks as he stutters in his spot.

“I understand why you have such a vendetta against grocery store produce now,” you chuckle fondly. “You’ve been spoiled with fresh, homegrown food since the beginning.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” he grins. “Just wait until you see the orchard.”

Your entire body freezes, lips parting in mild shock. You blink a few times, the corners of your lips slowly tugging upwards. “You mean to tell me that there’s an orchard inside this greenhouse?”

He nods proudly. “Follow me.”

Again, San gently guides you towards the back of the building, and you notice how there seems to be a separate section placed off to the side. The whole building seems to be shaped like an ‘L’, large windows spanning either side. As soon as you round the corner, the greenhouse opens up into a vast space, all different types of plants continuing to span the area.

“There’s almost one of each kind in their respective rows, but some of the fruit trees we have to make special visitations for.” He explains.

“Special visitations?” You repeat, taking in the large orange tree in front of you.

“Unfortunately, not all plants can be acclimatized to our greenhouse.” A slight frown tugs at his features. “I’m working on making sure they can be, but for now, we have special farms I usually like to visit to get those specific products I’m missing.”

Realization crosses your features. “That’s still really cool.”

“You think so?” He grins, his eyes crinkling at the sides. “I mean, not all the trees in the orchard here are mine, per se.”

You tilt your head at him in inquiry.

“Joong would probably murder me if I touched his lemon tree.” San says. “Well, other than when I harvest the fruit to be used in a recipe. He can never say no to lemon squares.”

“Hongjoong has a lemon tree?” Your eyes scan the rows, seeing a large plant with vibrant yellow fruit hanging from its branches a little ways down the row you’re currently standing in.

“Yes.” San confirms with a nod. “Yeosang grows his own jalapeños, too. Hwa and Yunho are very adamant about caring for the various berries we grow, but I have a few favourites of my own.”

“What are your favourites, then?” The way you look at him, with wide eyes filled with nothing but curiosity, sets his heart racing.

He smiles. “I’ll show you.”

Leading you down the path with a spring to his step, San takes only a single right turn before stopping before a somewhat smaller tree than all the others.

“This one’s a little newer than the rest, but I’ve grown quite fond of it recently.” His eyes trail over the tree in front of him.

Large fruit hang heavily from the branches, very particular in shape. Their pastel pink skin fades into hues of white and orange, soft fuzz coating the sides.

“Peaches?” Your voice is nothing short of tender as you focus on him standing beside you.

“I’ve taken a fond liking to them recently.” He hums.

“You don’t say,” you grin, almost knowingly.

A moment later, and your gaze is shifting around the area, noting the other fruit hanging from the branches around you.

A gasp escapes you as you excitedly waddle over to the tree right before your very eyes, the fruit hanging in abundance in vibrant shades of red, yellow, and green. “Mangos?”

A fond chuckle escapes the male as he walks up beside you. “Would you like one?”

No verbal response is needed. Not when you eagerly shake your head, turning your awe filled gaze to stare deeply into his own eyes.

Your whole body practically vibrates in excitement, gaze darting from one fruit to the next. You can practically smell the aroma drifting through the branches, and it makes you smile instantaneously.

Softly, San reaches out before you and plucks a fruit fresh from the branch, tracing his thumb over the side of its skin. Carefully, he takes your hand back into one of his own, placing the fruit delicately into your palm as he smiles.

The wonder filled look you wear means everything to him in this moment. The fact that he can see your lips part, eyes shining with nothing but adoration sets his heart racing.

“I love mangos.” You admit, voice nothing but a tender caress to his ears.

“So I’ve heard,” he smiles, chest warming at the way your hands hold onto that fruit so delicately right now. “Mingi enjoys raiding them for smoothies.”

“And he didn’t invite me…” you click your tongue, shaking your head in mock disapproval.

“To be fair, he had been pestering me for a mango tree for quite a long time before I finally gave in.” He admits, dragging the sole of his foot against the ground as he averts his gaze.

“Did you-“ you blink, heart skipping a beat as realization settles over you. “Did you start growing these for me?”

“Of course, Baby,” he confirms, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side. “I started growing quite a few things for you, especially once I learnt that you enjoy fresh fruit so much.”

Your entire being warms, nothing but fondness flooding your veins as you rest your head gently on his shoulder. Your eyes flutter shut as you breathe out a content sigh, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Nonsense, Baby.” Almost immediately, he shakes his head, completely appalled by your words. “You deserve everything I have to offer, and so much more.”

“I meant it in the sense that you’re too good to me,” you chuckle, wrapping your free arm around his own. “I can’t think of a single person that I know of who can say that their lover started growing specific fruits just for them.”

“Of course I would,” his reply is immediate. “Only the best for My Baby.”

A content hum escapes you. “I appreciate that, Sannie.” A pause. “I appreciate you.”

He shifts closer, turning to place a gentle kiss onto the side of your head. “I love you, Baby.”

You smile, sinking further into his side as you feel yourself fully relax. “I love you, My Aquaman.”

You don’t even need to look at him to know a large, giddy smile stretches across his features from your words. You can feel it just in the way his whole body shakes lightly in happiness beside you. Although it’s faint, you swear you can also hear his heartbeat thundering beneath his skin.

A sense of calm washes over the both of you as he leads you back to the main area of the greenhouse. Wordlessly, he places a tender kiss onto your cheek before somewhat reluctantly pulling away from you to begin tending to his plants. You, on the other hand, sit yourself nearby, watching him fondly as he begins to work.

“So, you’ve been cooking all your life?” Your legs begin to swing back and forth as you rest that mango beside you on top of the table you’re currently sitting on.

“For as long as I can remember, yes.” He confirms, pruning his plants lightly. “It came quite naturally to me. Plus, my powers always help make it easier.”

“What’s your favourite thing to cook?” You observe him eagerly.

He spares a glance over his shoulder, the corner of his lips quirking upwards softly. “Anything My Baby desires.”

“San!” You laugh, shaking your head lightheartedly. “I’m being serious!”

“So am I.” He hums, shifting on to the next plant in the row. “Though, if I have to choose, I do enjoy cooking old family recipes. It’s always nice to discover how tastes have changed and been passed on with each new generation.”

“How many unique family recipes do you know, then?” Your ankles are crossed as your hands support you on either side of the table.

“Oh, probably over a few hundred thousand.” He replies, nonchalantly. “Give or take.”

Your jaw drops, “That’s incredible!”

“It’s nothing.” He shrugs, the tips of his ears turning red.

“You should teach me sometime.”

The statement you make is casual, but it still causes San to freeze in his spot, nearly dropping the dead leaves he’s gathered in his one hand.

Slowly, he turns to face you, nothing but hope shining within his gaze. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I do, Baby.” Your legs finally still as you smile down at him. “I would love to cook with you, and besides, you shouldn’t have to prepare all of the meals. I want to make things for you and the other guys from time to time, too.”

In the blink of an eye, he’s before you, his hands on either side of your body as the pile of dead leaves now rests on top of the table. They appear almost as if they’ve been thrown haphazardly across the surface, his whole body trembling as he clings onto the edge for dear life.

“You want to cook for me?” His voice is small, hopeful as he tilts his head downwards, avoiding your eyes for the moment.

“I can’t promise it’ll be as good as your own food, but I would like to at some point; yes.” You nod once, quite firmly at that.

“Baby,” he swallows thickly, and his gaze says it all.

Nothing but love for you is seen in his eyes, which are shining with unshed tears. His lips are slightly parted, tongue darting out to wet them as his arms continue to shake as he holds himself steady against the edge of the table. Softly, his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, his heart racing uncontrollably in his chest.

“My baking is a little better than my cooking, but-“

You don’t even get to finish your thought, for his arms are around you, pulling you flush against his chest. A sob wracks his chest, tears of unfiltered joy falling onto your shoulder as he holds you close.

Gently, you card your fingers through his hair, holding onto him just as tightly as he clings to you.

“I didn’t realize you’d have this type of reaction,” you chuckle, rubbing his back comfortingly with your free hand.

“It just means a lot to me,” his voice is low as he mumbles the words against your neck. “More than you’ll ever know.”

Tenderly, you press your lips onto the side of his head. “I know how much you love cooking, San. I would be honoured to be able to share in that passion with you.”

His grip tightens ever so slightly as he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck. This is everything he’s ever wanted, and so much more. Finally, he can share his passion of doing what he loves with the person that he loves most in this world. Something he’s always longed to do.

“Just, don’t tell my mom.” You joke, watching as he pulls away to glance into your eyes.

“Why not?” His brow furrows.

“She’s been trying to teach me how to properly cook for years.” The corner of your lips quirks upwards. “I always told her that I was fine on my own.”

“Did you, now?” He quirks a brow playfully.

“I know how to follow a recipe, boil water, and cook eggs.” You shrug. “That’s all I’ve ever needed before.”

A dramatic hand is placed over his heart. “Oh, Baby, you hurt me so.”

“I’m not that bad a cook,” you roll your eyes teasingly. “I can cook, I just choose not to.”

“Which will make us cooking together all the more special.” He hums, eyes crinkling at the sides as he smiles at you.

“Exactly.” You loop your arms around his shoulders. “I want to spend more time with the people I love, doing what they love to do.”

“Oh?” His brow quirks, a certain mischievous gleam suddenly shining within his eyes. “Don’t say that, Baby. We’d be tempted to never let you leave your bed again.”

Your back straightens, a heat blooming on your cheeks as you slap his arm playfully. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, Baby.” He chuckles. “You’re just so pretty when you get flustered.”

“And you’re very handsome when you’re excited about something.” You grin. “So, I guess we’re even.”

He returns your smile. “I guess so.”

Sliding your hands to rest on his shoulders, you give them a firm squeeze. A sense of calm passes over the both of you, his own grip finding purchase on your waist.

“Shouldn’t you be tending to your plants?” You quirk a brow teasingly.

“I could,” he hums, “but that would mean spending less time with you.”

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere anytime soon,” you poke his cheek affectionately, watching as that dimple of his appears almost instantly.

“Well, if I did things like I normally do, I’d be done in a flash.” He says. “Doing this by hand will most certainly take me longer, meaning you can spend more time with me.”

“How you normally do things?” You tilt your head curiously.

“It’s quite easy to manipulate plants once you get the hang of both the oxygen and water they consist of.” He explains.

Your eyes widen, lips parting in awe.

“There are still aspects of us and our powers you have yet to see,” he winks, a smug grin tugging at his features.

“So I’ve been told,” you exhale somewhat breathlessly. “And just how do you normally do things?”

A light squeeze to your waist is all you receive before San steps to the side. Gently, he takes your one hand in his as he motions to the tomato plants in front of you.

“Watch closely.” His voice is low right by your ear as he leans into your side.

Fixating your gaze on the one plant he’s yet to prune, a gasp escapes you as you see the leaves beginning to sway. Carefully, the dead leaves separate from the plant, moisture collecting on the fruit almost instantly before sliding downwards. The droplets seem to gather in one place before floating in the air and moving to the next fruit, doing the same in succession.

A gentle breeze drifts passed, and you catch the faintest scent of peaches in the air this time.

“I use the moisture in the air to mist them, and then depending on the plant, the excess water is given back to the soil for the roots.” San’s voice is gentle, a fond look resting on his features as he takes in your expression of pure wonder once more.

“That’s amazing!” You squeeze his hand, whole body practically vibrating in excitement. “You’re incredible, Baby!”

“It’s nothing,” he attempts to shrug you off again, despite the vibrant blush creeping up his neck.

“So, then,” you stand back onto your feet, walking over to observe the tomatoes he’s just tended to. “How long does this usually take you?”

“Minutes at most,” he replies, eyes shining as he watches you crouch beside the plant. “Seconds at best.”

“Wow.” You blink up at him in awe before pushing yourself back to your feet. “So, you were only doing it manually today to spend more time with me?”

“I figured you could use the distraction,” he shrugs. “Besides, I wanted to impress you, and show off my greenhouse.”

“Well, it worked.” You nudge him gently with your shoulder. “Count me impressed on all parts.”

“I guess it’s a bonus I got to show you this, too.” He hums, nudging you back.

“I’m always interested in spending time with you, regardless of what we’re doing.” You admit softly. Then, just as tenderly, “I’m always interested in you.”

A low, pleased rumble shakes his chest.

“The feeling will always be mutual, Baby.” His voice is but a whisper as he pulls you into his arms.

“Well then, why don’t you finish up here, and then we can go bake something together.” You hum. “I’ve been meaning to make those cookies Reina mentioned when she saw the two kitchens the other day. Those are probably the only things I know how to bake off the top of my head recipe wise.”

“She was supposed to send me the instructions for how to make those.” San grumbles under his breath.

“I think she lied,” you smile lightly. “She only makes them for certain occasions.”

“Like what?” His brow furrows.

“When I need a pick me up.” You reply, stepping away from him lightly. “She only taught me how to make them after-“ the words catch in your throat as your expression falls. “I think I know why she mentioned them this time around.”

“Reina knows?” His brow furrows slightly, worry shining in his eyes as he watches your whole visage drop.

“Reina can be very perceptive when she wants to be.” You say, a small sigh escaping your lips. “Especially when it comes to me. We practically know each other better than we know ourselves.”

“I thought your sister was the only one that knew?” San frowns slightly.

“Reina figured it out, so I told her.” Your one hand comes up to rub at the side of your arm. “She knew- knows about my mental health probably better than anyone, my sister included.”

“She’s a good friend.” He observes.

“Yeah.” You smile, a soft nod to your head. “She is.”

“Alright, Baby,” San gently cups the side of your face, brushing his thumb tenderly against your cheek. “Why don’t you meet me in the kitchen, then? I’ll finish up here, cut up that mango for you, and then we can make those cookies together. How does that sound?”

You begin to nod. “Okay.”

A wide smile is all that you receive in response as you turn back to the table you had just been sitting on. It takes nothing to grab that fresh mango in your hand once more, turning to exit the greenhouse in the next second.

“Baby,” San’s somewhat urgent call of your name causes you to turn back to face him. “Will you be okay in the garden on your own?”

Warmth blooms in your chest at the care he continues to extend towards you.

“I will be.” You nod, somewhat firmly. Though, at the worried look he sends your way, you smile reassuringly at him. “I promise to call you if I need you. So, please, San, take your time.”

“Alright, Baby,” he breathes out a low sigh. “I’ll be right there.”

A final nod is all you give him as you turn back towards the greenhouse door. You can feel his eyes watching you the whole time as you take your leave, pausing only briefly to take a deep breath before exit the building once and for all.

The first thing you hear as soon as you shut the door behind you is the trickling of that fountain. You can smell the sweet aroma of the flowers drifting through the air, and it offers you comfort as you keep your back turned to the scenery behind you. The whole time, a small mantra of ‘nothing can hurt you now’ and ‘you’re okay’ runs through your head, taking deep breaths to help steady yourself for the time being.

You can get through this.

She cannot hurt you anymore. You won’t let her.

Turning around, you face the garden.

For a moment, you do not move. That single mango is clutched lightly in your hand as you swallow thickly, taking in every detail of the garden before you like the very first time. Again, you can see the meticulous detail that has gone into every aspect of this space.

A space designed for you.

For you and only you.

This is yours. You won’t let her take what this space means away from you, or them for that matter.

You take a small step forward.

The bench where you had that lovely talk with Hongjoong that one day still rests to the side. The foliage is a bit thicker than all those months ago, though. There seems to be a few symbols now carved into the wood, and you just know in your gut that they’re there for your protection.

You take another step.

There are all of the peonies, lilies, roses, and forget-me-nots lining the same path you took the very first time Hongjoong showed you this place. Stepping in beside them now, you lean over to take in their scents just as you did before, letting those better memories replace the single bad one.

Finally, you acknowledge the fountain.

Turning to face the sparkling water, you watch as it shines, trickling down each level of the carved stones. Despite your best efforts, your gaze flits to the very spot Miyeon held you down upon, submerging your head beneath the crisp, crystal clear liquid until your lungs burned for air.

You swallow thickly.

Blinking a few times, you step in closer.

She’s not here, but you are. You are still breathing. Despite everything she did to you that day, you are the one that emerged alive on the other end.

You sit on the edge of the fountain.

It’s a little difficult to keep your breathing under control, but you know that you need to do this for your sake. You’ve always been a very logic driven person, and doing this will prove to yourself once and for all that you are okay. Not only are you proving that she can no longer hurt you, but that these places have always been, and will always be safe. She was the one anomaly that caused you harm, not the fountain itself.

You close your eyes, allowing the sounds and scents of the garden to overflow your senses and lull you into a sense of security just as they’ve always done. This space has always offered you comfort, and you allow it to do so once more now.

With each passing second, you begin to relax more and more.

“Baby?” A somewhat tentative call of your name causes your eyes to flutter open to see San standing at the entrance to the garden. He takes a small step towards you. “When I couldn’t find you in either kitchen, I got worried.”

“I’m okay, San.” You breathe out, lifting your gaze to meet his concerned one. “I needed to do this.”

Carefully, he sits beside you on the edge of the fountain.

You look down at your hands, watching your thumb gently trace over the skin of that mango still held in your grip.

“I don’t want her to taint what this place means to me any longer.” Your voice is soft, barely above a whisper, yet he still manages to hear you loud and clear. “She doesn’t get that satisfaction. I’m not going to let her make me fear my own home.”

His expression softens, reaching out to grasp one of your hands in his own.

A moment of silence.

“It hurt, San.” You swallow thickly, squeezing your eyes shut as you feel the beginnings of tears stinging at the corners. “I thought my lungs were going to burst from how badly they were burning inside my chest.”

His free hand comes up to rest gently on your back as he shifts closer to you, nothing but concern in his gaze as he watches you break down right in front of him.

“I thought, ‘this is the end.’” You admit lowly, and you feel the way he stiffens beside you. Your grip tightens in your lap. “I wanted it to be the end.”

A soft call of your name escapes him as no more than a worried breath.

“As much as I wanted to live that day, I still have no idea how I survived as long as I did.” The confession weighs heavy on your shoulders, eyes blank as you stare at the cobblestone path beneath your feet. A brief flash of that conversation with Wyno the other day passes through your mind. “I should have died. I think a part of me did die.”

This time, it’s his turn to swallow thickly.

“I just don’t think I wanted to acknowledge it until now.” You finally look up to meet his gaze, the first of your tears sliding down the side of your cheeks. “Yet, I’m still here,” you smile weakly, “and I’m glad that I am.”

The hand that had been resting on your back comes up to cup the side of your face.

“I don’t know how long it will take me to get better, but it’s time for me to stop hiding my pain and pretending that everything is okay.” You lean over to rest your head against his shoulder. “I didn’t realize what I needed to do before, but today has really helped. I think I had just been avoiding it, honestly.” You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat. “Thank you, San, for being patient with me, and for always being there.”

A small smile is sent your way, his arm wrapping around your waist to pull you in closer to his side.

“I’m here for you, Baby. Always.” He rests his head on top of your own as his voice drops to a mere whisper. “I’m sorry you had to suffer at her hands. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you like I promised I would.”

You feel a tear land on top of your head, but with how firmly he’s holding onto you, you do not dare move. He needs this just as much as you do right now.

“Not a day passes by where I don’t blame myself for what she did to you.”

“San-“

“Please, Baby, I need to get this off my chest.” His voice is strained.

You remain silent, shifting the slightest bit closer to him in response.

“We all have regrets about that day: leaving you by yourself, not taking even a minute to think when Stella came to get us, letting you get that hurt.” He takes a deep, stuttering breath inwards. “For all of our powers, we couldn’t even sense her breaking through our wards. The moment we got back to discover you like that, our entire world stopped. I thought to myself, ‘this can’t be happening. This isn’t real.’”

He tightens his grip subconsciously around you.

“And when you told us everything she did to you…” his eyes squeeze shut, vivid images of your beaten and battered body filling his vision as more tears fall. “If I could have subjected her to an endless hell where her suffering never ceased, it would have still been too kind.”

You remain silent, waiting for him to continue.

“It was all my fault. I kept telling myself that maybe if I didn’t fall for her advances twenty years ago, that maybe if I just ignored her like Jongho did, then maybe we never would have gotten so tangled up in her web of lies. Both Wooyoung and I-” His voice breaks as a sob wracks his chest. “If we never agreed to a relationship with her in the past, she would have had no reason to hurt you.”

“Sannie-“

“I know,” he sniffles. “I know you already told us not to think like that, but it’s true. How could it not be true?”

“You do not control other people’s actions, San.” You gently stroke your thumb over the back of his hand, your own heart rate calming with each word that you speak. “None of us do. We could have never predicted she would do this to us.”

Softly, he nods along with your words, lips pursing slightly. “Those three days you were unconscious after the fact were the worst days of our lives.”

You squeeze his hand, heart aching inside of your chest.

“None of us knew what to do.” He admits lowly. “I think it hit Wooyoung, Hongjoong, and Seonghwa the hardest. We didn’t know if you were going to survive. We blamed ourselves for everything. We thought-“ his breath catches and his whole body shakes with his sobs. “We thought you would want nothing to do with us anymore the moment you woke up. We thought all the memories we made together would mean nothing, and you’d go back to hating us for everything that we did to you. Even worse than before.”

Gently, you shift upwards, guiding his gaze to yours with your free hand.

“I could never hate you for what she did to me.” You stare deeply into his eyes, and you watch as his chin begins to wobble slightly from his emotions. “It is not your fault, San.”

For a split second, nothing is said between the both of you. It’s as if the entire garden goes silent, too, the flowers stilling as you gaze into each other’s eyes.

That is, until he’s collapsing into your arms. A wail tears from his chest as his entire body shakes, face buried into the side of your neck. Countless apologies fall from his lips, his fingers digging harshly into your back as he holds you close. You swear that he believes that you’ll slip right through his hands if he doesn’t.

Softly, you coo to him, your own chest stuttering every now and then from the weight of your own emotions. Though, with every breath you take, you feel better. Right now, you’re revelling in the comfort of his embrace as much as he is doing the same with you.

Looks like the both of you really needed this.

“You no longer have to apologize to me, San.” You say gently, pulling away to wipe the tears from his eyes. “You saved me, in more ways than one. You all did. Now, we just need to get passed this, and we will. Together.”

He nods softly, rubbing at his nose with the back of his hand.

That’s when you notice, the trickling sound of the fountain has stopped.

Sparing a glance around you, a gasp of awe nearly falls from your lips. All around you rests the water from the fountain, floating in a thin dome-like shape. Patterns dance within the water, swirling like mist around your head.

“Are you doing this?” Your once sad eyes which are now filled with wonder make him smile faintly.

“I haven’t in a long time,” he admits lowly. “This really only happens when I lose control of my emotions.”

Your eyebrows droop in worry. “Sannie-“

“It’s like a protective barrier,” he explains, the corners of his lips quirking upwards as he begins to make the water swirl slightly faster around you. “Nothing can get through it right now. Well, except maybe Mingi, if he really wanted to.”

Realization crosses your features. “You did this for us.”

His gentle smile says it all.

Tenderly, you cup his face in your one hand, thumb stroking along his cheekbone as he leans into your touch.

“I want you to know that this space will never be able to hurt you again.” He breathes. “Not while I’m around to protect you. I’ll make it so that not a single drop of water can suffocate you, nor will anyone be able to force your head below the surface again.”

Slowly, he begins to trail the water back into the fountain, the familiar trickling filling the space once more.

Your heart swells in your chest, a warmth unlike anything you’ve ever felt before flooding your veins as you let his words sink in.

“And I will be here to help ease those doubts whenever you have them.” You say, staring deeply into his eyes as you do so. “Recovery is a tricky path, so no more blaming yourself for things that are both out of your control and not your fault.”

“The same goes for you, Baby,” he nudges your knee playfully with his own.

You smile faintly. “Okay.”

In one swift movement, he steals the mango from your hand. “Come on, we have some baking to do.”

You giggle, and the smile that lights up his features in response sets your heart racing.

“I’ll be right there, there’s just something I need to do first.” You stand with him, stretching out your back all the while. At the way he quirks his brow at you, you’re quick to shoo him away. “I promise I’ll be right there this time.”

“Alright,” he replies, somewhat skeptically. “I’ll go get the ingredients ready.”

“Alright, Baby,” you chuckle, watching as he disappears behind the doors to the library in the next second.

For a minute, you simply stand there, allowing the atmosphere of the garden to surround you fully for the second time that day. Then, you’re taking a deep breath to steady your nerves. There’s another male you wish to speak to right now. A male who you know cherishes this space as much as you do.

You brush lightly against that red string.

Instantly, Hongjoong appears in front of you, worry creasing his brow. Only, before he can say anything, you’re speaking.

“I’m sorry.”

You can tell he’s caught off guard by your words, for he blinks in surprise at you.

“You made this space for me, and I let her taint what it means to the both of us.” You avoid his gaze for the moment, shame washing over your entire figure as your shoulders curl in on yourself. “I know how much thought you put into this house - into everything that you do, and I was willing to push that aside because of one bad memory in this place.” You pause. “Because of her.”

“My Love-“

“When did you add the hyacinths?” Your voice is somewhat small, eyes briefly darting up to catch his gaze.

You notice he swallows thickly, averting his own gaze somewhat nervously.

“The day after everything happened.” He replies after a moment, clearing his throat all the while. “I added them as soon as I saw what she did to this place.”

You nod your understanding, heart squeezing painfully in your chest. “And the snapdragons?”

“The day after that.” His voice is rough as he now avoids your gaze.

You take a step in towards him, and you notice how his bottom lip is caught between his teeth. His hands tremble, and his eyes shine with unshed tears as you gently reach up to cup his face in your palms. Yet still, he refuses to meet your eyes.

“Hongjoong,” your expression falls the slightest bit, “please, look at me.”

Hesitantly, he complies with your wish.

“You haven’t stopped blaming yourself for this, have you?” Your tone is soft, synonymous with the tender caress of your thumbs against his cheeks. “For what she’s done. For what she continues to do to us.”

The first of his tears begin to fall from his eyes.

“How can I not?” His voice cracks, giving away just how broken he feels inside. “You couldn’t even look at certain parts of this house after she tarnished our sacred space. I should have protected you better. I should have known-”

His eyes squeeze shut, more tears falling freely down his face and onto the skin of your hands.

“It’s not your fault, Hongjoong.” You brush his tears away gently. “I made you believe it was, and I cannot apologize enough for that.”

“No-“

“I want you to be honest with me right now,” you cut him off almost instantly. “Did you think me avoiding this place was because I didn’t want to be reminded of you? Of how you thought that I felt you failed me?”

His silence speaks volumes.

“When did you really add those hyacinths, Hongjoong?” You search his gaze, feeling the way his whole being practically deflates in your hold. “I know you’re well versed in the language of flowers, and the fact that they’re purple says a lot to me.”

A brief pause as he hesitates in his response.

He looks down at his hands.

“Three days ago.” The admission feels like a condemnation on his part.

The day you got back from the dragon’s nest after falling from the sky. The day you slept for nearly twenty-four hours due to your high emotions and trauma response. The day he saw first hand just how scared of him you could be.

Your argument over how to get Jongho back probably didn’t help one bit.

“Oh, Hongjoong,” your expression falls, heart aching as you fall to your knees before him. Gently, you press your forehead to his hands, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes for the second time that day. “Words cannot express how much I regret ever making you feel like this. I was never avoiding reminders of you. I love you. I was avoiding her, but in doing so, I hurt you. I’ve never once blamed you for any of this, but I can only imagine the doubt you must have felt, especially over the last few days.”

The violent sobs that wrack his body tell you everything you need to know as he collapses to his knees in front of you. Almost instantly, he falls into your embrace, and you begin to gently card your fingers through his hair, cooing to him all the while.

“You are not responsible for any of this, Hongjoong.” You voice softly. “I’m sorry for ever making you think that, and I’m sorry I kept my true emotions from all of you. I should have been more honest with how she was affecting my memories of our spaces. Maybe then this all could have been avoided.”

You feel him shake his head against you. “You were only doing what you thought was best for you.”

“Sometimes what I want is not what I need.” You mutter. “I wanted to avoid her, and in turn I’ve been avoid our home and all of you. What I needed was to realize that, and to understand that nothing has changed. The only variant was her, and you have all ensured that she cannot hurt me anymore.”

“Nothing will ever hurt you again.” He tightens his grip around you, managing to get his breathing back under control. “Not while I’m here to protect you.”

You chuckle fondly. “It seems all of you share that sentimentality.”

He cracks a halfhearted grin. “So it would seem.”

As they should. As they always will. Even if it��s the last thing they ever do.

You hold him tighter.

“I’m sorry, My Love,” you breathe out, making sure to keep your voice low as you bury your face into the side of his neck. “I won’t allow her to get in-between us again.”

Turning his head slightly, Hongjoong presses his lips against the side of your temple. He lets his kiss linger for a while, holding you to him as if you may just slip right through his arms if he doesn’t.

“I appreciate you saying all of this to me, My Love,” he hums, finally managing to get his emotions back under control. “You have eased my mind more than you’ll ever know.”

The corners of your lips twitch upwards, a brief memory of your shared conversation flitting through your mind from the last time the two of you had a heart to heart in the garden.

“All is well between us now, My Love.” He places another kiss to the side of your temple. “At least, I think it is.”

He pulls away to stare into your eyes, searching your gaze for any signs you might be hiding something from him again. Something that you believe might burden him if you admit to.

“I think so, too,” you smile faintly, leaning in to peck his cheek lightly.

“I believe there are some others that might benefit from a conversation like this with you, too.” He says casually, standing back to his feet and helping you back to yours almost immediately

“I believe you’re right.” You hum, settling into the comfort of his embrace with his arm around your shoulders. “For now, San is expecting me in the kitchen.”

Hongjoong quirks a brow, “Is he, now?”

“We’re baking cookies.” You grin, wiggling excitedly in his hold.

“Finally succumbing to his desires of cooking with you, are you?” Hongjoong teases.

“I was the one who suggested it.” You reply, beginning to exit the garden with Hongjoong right beside you.

He laughs, “Even better.”

Your brow quirks, somewhat knowingly. “I have a feeling that he’s not the only one with those types of more… domestic desires.”

“No, he most certainly isn’t.” Hongjoong grins. “I’m quite certain we all have things we wish to indulge in with you at some point that aren’t apart of our greater indulgences.”

“Everything I do with you guys feels like a greater indulgence,” you admit. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been this spoiled in my life.”

Hongjoong smiles wide as you both enter the kitchen together.

“Get used to it, Baby,” San glances up from the counter where he’s already taken the liberty to lay out some bowls and baking ingredients. A grin tugs at his lips, an eagerness unlike anything you’ve seen before shines within his eyes. “We enjoy pleasing you more than you’ll ever know.”

It’s slight, but you cannot help the way your breath hitches in your throat. Though, what really gets you is the not so innocent smile San sends your way as you meet his gaze.

“Yeah, yeah.” You huff out a laugh, playfully rolling your eyes. “It’s the corset pictures all over again.”

The two males share a look.

“Well, if you’re offering…” Hongjoong grins deviously.

You slap his arm teasingly, mouth parting in shock, “Joongie!”

“You’re the one who brought them up,” San singsongs from behind the counter.

You shake your head, a loving smile pulling at your lips as you separate from Hongjoong in order to join San behind the counter. You can hear them chuckle as you mutter to yourself about your ‘damn horny Kings’ once more.

Not even a minute later, Hongjoong takes his leave. Well, it’s more of San pointedly glaring at him until Hongjoong casually says that he has some other things to attend to. You laugh at this, poking San on his cheek again as you tease him about monopolizing all of your alone time.

“Is it that bad that I want you all to myself sometimes, Baby?” He wraps his arms around you, burying his face into the side of your neck all the while.

“Not at all,” you hum, practically melting into his embrace.

The next hour is spent with him in the kitchen, laughing and joking around as you teach him how to make your favourite cookies. Every word you speak, every instruction you give him, he listens to eagerly, insisting that he do all of the heavy mixing. It’s only when the cookies are finally in the oven, you standing at the sink cleaning what you can of the used dishes, that you feel him step up behind you once more.

“I love you.” His arms are wrapped securely around your waist, his chest pressed firmly against your back as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck.

You smile, relaxing into his touch. “I love you, too, Sannie.”

“Thank you, for indulging in multiple of my hobbies with me today.” He says lowly, squeezing your waist a little bit tighter. “It truly means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

“Of course, Baby.” You turn your head just as he rests his chin on your shoulder, managing to place a tender kiss onto the side of his cheek. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a while. I’m just glad we finally got to.”

He giggles, a large grin spreading across his face as he holds you close. Even when you finally finish the dishes, and the timer dings on the stove, he refuses to let you go.

“Sannie! My cookies!” You whine, though it comes out more of a laugh than anything.

“What about them?” He hums, waddling around the kitchen with you in his arms.

“They’re going to burn!”

He shakes his head against your own. “No, they won’t.”

In the blink of an eye, he’s removed the trays from the oven, setting the cookies aside to cool. Another blink, and he’s back to holding you in his arms as the oven cools down.

“You’re worse than a koala.” You tease, poking his arm lightly.

He whines in response, a pout tugging at his lips that you manage to catch in the reflection of the glass paneling of the cupboards. “I’m the cutest koala, though, right?”

You chuckle, “If you say so.”

A loud, scandalized gasp escapes him. “I’m the cutest koala, and you know it!”

“Do I?” You hum, clearly amused by his antics.

“I’m not letting you go until you admit that I’m your cutest koala.” He tightens his grip, burying his face into the side of your neck once more. Only this time, he begins placing tender kisses against your skin, managing to tickle you all the while.

You begin to squirm in his grip, desperately attempting to free yourself as you giggle.

“Okay, okay!” You practically melt into his embrace. “You’re my cutest koala.”

You can feel the smirk that pulls onto his lips as his chest shakes in laughter. “Victory.”

“Now, will you let me go so I can finally taste our baking?” You struggle to waddle yourself over to the now (hopefully) cooled cookies on the rack.

Instantly, he’s in front of you, offering a cookie to you while he holds one for himself in his other hand. Graciously, you take it, breaking it in half and smiling at the softness that greets you. The inside is still a bit warm, too.

“I can see why these are your favourite,” he hums, nodding in approval as the sweet treat melts in his mouth.

“Looks like you owe another thing to Reina,” you joke, popping the rest of your cookie into your mouth.

“Maybe I’ll help you set her up with Sudaem in thanks.” San wiggles his brows suggestively.

Your brow quirks eagerly, “I like the way you think.”

Grabbing a plate from the cupboard, you place some cookies on top of it. You have some other males you wish to see before the day is done, and besides, you didn’t just make these for you.

The way each male’s eyes light up as you peek your head into their spaces, bringing with you a plate of cookies has your heart warming. San, of course, follows behind you like an overexcited puppy, revelling in his brother’s praises of your baking as much as you are.

Honestly, you’re just glad that they’re enjoying the sweets so much. So much so, in fact, that you see both Jongho and Wooyoung fighting over the ones you left untouched in the kitchen when you return. Never would any of you have expected Yeosang to be the one to swoop in and steal the plate right from their hands, though.

The chase that ensued was comical, ending with a broken plate and scattered cookie crumbs across the floor. You swear you even see Seonghwa shed a tear when he walks out of his tailor shop to see the catastrophe right before his eyes.

“Don’t worry, boys,” you chuckle. “I can go make more.”

Which is exactly how you find yourself making a few more dozen batches with San, both Wooyoung and Mingi eagerly sitting at the counter the whole time to keep you two company.

Truly, you’re grateful for moments like these. They make you remember that everything will be okay, even if the path you’re walking is still uncertain. The fact that they’ll all be with you every step of the way only makes it that much sweeter, your heart warming as you simply enjoy the moment with Your Kings that this evening brings.

The next day, you spend training with both Mingi and Hongjoong. You want to get out some pent up frustration, and the practice had been long overdue. Luckily, you do not do anything too intensive, simply going over everything that you’ve already learned, and working to perfect it as best as you can.

You all agree that it would be best to save the teaching of new techniques for next week.

The day after that, you brave Yunho’s art room. The exchange is just as emotional as the garden, the two of you falling into each other’s embrace for comfort as you are so prone to do. It is much needed, and you find that with each space that you reclaim, you can feel yourself regaining parts of yourself that you had thought you had lost.

Well, perhaps not lost, per se, but those parts that have now undergone a strong rebirth.

Now, you are stronger, and feeling much more secure in both yourself and your relationships with all of them. Although everything is still a bit rocky, you’re happy with the progress that you’re making, and you just know that they feel the exact same way as you.

Over the next three days, you rotate where you spend your time. One day is spent in the garden, Mingi being the one to join you this time. The next is spent with Yunho again in his art room. He claimed to want to paint you again, and you certainly were not going to deny him. The final day is spent with both Jongho and Hongjoong in the library, simply relaxing in each other’s comforting presence as you spent the time reading together.

Each day, you feel better, until a full week has passed since that day in the garden with San.

There’s a funny feeling in your chest when you wake up that morning, a sort of tightness you haven’t felt in a while. A tightness which you think you’re starting to understand.

It’s time to let go.

Taking a deep breath in, you exit your room.

The steps that you take down the hallway are careful, each movement precise as you approach the two rooms that rest at the end. The moment you reach the one door, you peer through the window, noticing how the lights seem to be turned off. No one appears to be using the studio for the moment, and before you can open the door, you stop yourself.

Suddenly, your mouth goes dry, and your hand which had been hovering above the handle slowly retracts back to your side. You don’t even need to look down to feel the tremble in your hand.

Perhaps you’ll do the other thing you had in mind first, and take it from there.

Turning back to face the end of the hallway, you walk towards the music room. Not much has changed about the space since the last time you saw it, save for the brand new baby grand piano that sits near the large bay windows. Even Yeosang’s violin rests in its regular spot, perfectly placed and shining in the light of the midmorning sun.

You smile softly to yourself, remembering the very first time he played for you.

Turning back to the piano, you slowly approach the bench. Gently, your hand trails over the lid, propping it open carefully as you attempt to keep your hands from shaking.

You are safe.

She can’t hurt you anymore.

Tugging the bench out, you sit before the keys, feeling a comforting brush of fur against your leg. Looking down reveals Kuroo staring up at you with those wide, golden eyes of his. Of course, he’s quick to hop onto the window bench, curling up in the exact same position that he was in the very first time that you played in this room.

You think back on that now, and what it meant to you then.

Gosh, you feel like an entirely different person now compared to only a few months ago. Then again, you probably are.

You spare a glance down at the keys.

That most certainly isn’t a bad thing. After all, this time when you play, you’ll be playing for you.

Taking another deep breath in, you begin.

You start with a familiar favourite like always, the opening notes of Moonlight Sonata filling the room as you lose yourself to the music.

For about forty minutes, you go through multiple classical pieces you’ve known since you were young, allowing the melodies to surround you and comfort you like they always have. You fumble a few times on certain songs that you haven’t played in a while, but you have long since stopped caring. Right now, this is for you, and you aren’t attempting to be perfect. In fact, that’s the whole point.

Though, that’s not all you came here to do.

For a brief moment, you pause, allowing the stillness of the silence of the room to settle over you. You take the time to stretch out your back, cracking your knuckles while you’re at it before straightening in your seat. There are two more songs you wish to perform for yourself as a final goodbye to the person you once were, and everything that you’ve been through. Only, you know that the lyrics can be taken a certain way, and the last thing you want is for any of them to believe that you’re singing about them.

So, you tell them.

These next songs aren’t about you. You drop your void for the moment. These are for me. So please, do not think the words are aimed at any of you. I need this. For me.

Alright, Petal, It’s Yunho who answers you first. We understand.

You smile, somewhat sorrowfully. Thank you.

Just as you go to close your void, you hesitate. Then, probably against your better judgement, you decide to leave it down for the time being. After all, you did promise to be more open with them about your emotions going forward.

The opening notes to Adele’s Someone Like You fill the room not even a moment later. You begin to perform for yourself, for the life you lost, and for the person who you are sure to become.

The perspective you decide to take with this song is your current self singing to your past self. The past self that you lost when Miyeon finally broke you is finally being acknowledged, and, oh, how fitting some of the lyrics seem to be to your exact situation.

You never thought you would settle down, so to say, but you were proved wrong in the best of ways.

Looking into mirrors the first few days and seeing your face shortly after the incident had happened had been a challenge. Every time you saw yourself, it felt as if you were looking at a ghost. A ghost of yourself that you hadn’t realized you needed to let go of in order to begin healing like you so badly needed to do.

“Never mind, I’ll find someone like you,” Your old self will continue to strengthen your current self. After all, people do not change over night. However, that being said, you need to let your past self go in order to thrive in the present.

“I wish nothing but the best for you, too.” Now, you picture yourself having a conversation with your old self, her saying this to you in your current state.

“Don’t forget me, I beg,” Still your past self urging you never to forget the good memories you’ve always had with her.

“I’ll remember, you said.” Your current self reassuring your past self that you’ll never forget, but you’ll still be okay.

“Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.” The corner of your lips quirk upwards, a sense of melancholy settling over your being as you continue into the second verse.

The whole time you sing, your thoughts and feelings echo shameless through each of their minds. Graciously, they follow along with your journey, tears gathering in their eyes as they see you talking to yourself and assuring yourself in ways that they know only you can.

No matter what, they will still support you in whatever ways that they can. Right now, they will do so by listening and understanding all that you are doing for yourself through your music. Yet, there is no denying that all of you understand that you are saying goodbye to your past self in your own way.

The second you reach the final verse, your own tears begin to fall. Saying goodbye to a part of yourself that you had been stolen from you, that had been torn from your very soul is no easy task. However, with each word you sing, you feel a weight lifting from your chest. Slowly, you begin to feel lighter, and by the time the final notes ring out in the room, your smile has brightened, and you can breathe a bit easier.

Now, for the final, and possibly most important song.

This time, when the opening notes for Panic! At the Disco’s This Is Gospel ring out, you imagine that it’s the part of yourself that you are saying goodbye to singing to your current self, reassuring you that everything will be okay.

With each note, your voice becomes stronger, solidifying who you are in this moment, and who you are surely bound to become.

“If you love me, let me go.” The tears you had managed to get under control only minutes before stream freely down your face as you repeat the phrase of the song once more.

This song has always meant a lot to you, and now that you can fully apply it to your current situation, you find the lyrics truly resonating with you. Especially the next ones that fall from your lips, “The fear of falling apart.”

This is you telling yourself that everything will be okay.

“I won’t give up without a fight.” There is extra emphasis put on those words in particular, even if you are currently unaware of that fact.

With every note that you hit, and every word you sing, your voice becomes stronger. The music rises in a crescendo as you finally break free of all of your past worries and doubts. Finally, you lay your old self to rest, and as the final notes ring out through the air, you feel like a newer, stronger person.

You close your void.

For five minutes, you simply sit there at that piano, letting everything you’ve just expelled through your playing linger around you in the room. A soft smile rests on your features as you keep your eyes closed, wiping at your final tears that cling to your cheeks.

For the first time in a long time, your head is clear, and those lingering fears and doubts begin to recede.

The feeling of a gentle hand placing itself onto your back makes you jump slightly. Turning your body, you blink your eyes open to see Yeosang standing behind you, tears of his own having cut tracks down the side of his face.

“Dearest-“

You nearly knock over the bench as you stand to your feet, wrapping him in your arms as he does the same for you. He holds you tightly, cradling the back of your head gently in his hand as you bury your face into the side of his neck. Soothingly, he caresses your spine.

“Thank you,” he swallows thickly, “for sharing this with us.”

You tighten your grip around him, a peaceful smile pulling at your lips.

“Thank you for listening.”

374 notes · View notes

ssahotstuff · 1 year

Text

Day 11–Lactation

Aaron Hotchner x reader

Warnings: no smut just good ole domesticated lactation kink 😘

Word count: 1k

After the birth of your daughter, Aaron noticed the significant changes in your body first, and of course, he was completely adoring of you in every aspect, especially after something as rough as childbirth. He was constantly doting on you, making sure to remind you constantly of how beautiful and strong you were to be tackling the feat of motherhood. He kept you in high spirits, which is why it was so heartbreaking to see him going through a tough time.

He'd came home from a case involving children, which tore him to shambles, no matter how hard he tried to keep it together at work. He'd walked in the door and threw himself in your arms, holding you so tight that you could barely breathe. He eventually loosened his grip on you, his hands falling to your waist as he looked down at you, his eyes full of sorrow.

"Where are the kids?"

The house was especially quiet but you were getting a much needed break. You hadn't been away from her in six months, since she was born, but your aunt had offered to take the kids for the night so you could relax and get some rest, and you were quick to agree.

"They're with my aunt. They'll be back in the morning. Why don't we focus on taking care of you right now, hmm?" You led him to the bed, knowing good and well what he needed from you, although he wasn't too shy to come out and ask. You wouldn't make him, because you already knew. It had started when you made the decision to breastfeed—Aaron was incredibly interested, assembling your pump and reading the directions twice before you ever used it. He'd keep you company while you pumped at first, always nearby for moral support when you needed him. It wasn't until Mariella was about two months old that Aaron took you by surprise with his enthusiasm for a particular part of your new mom body. He'd always been obsessed with your breasts, laying on them, using them as a pillow when he watched tv, or playing with them during sex, sucking at your nipples for his own pleasure and yours. He didn't try to hide it, he was always extremely open with his desires, but you still couldn't hide the shock on your face when he'd first asked.

Mariella had just gotten to sleep in her crib so you and Aaron were making the most of the time alone with Jack at Jessica's. You were lying in bed naked, having just had sex for the first time since Mariella had been born, your world rocked entirely. Aaron was on your chest, toying with your nipple absentmindedly when it started to leak, droplets of milk rolling down your boob. He swiftly caught it with his thumb before looking up at you, plopping his finger in his mouth so he could taste. The sight was oddly erotic—you were taken aback slightly, and he seemed to be growing more bashful by the moment, blushing like mad in the lamplight.

"Does it taste funny?"

He shook his head, toying with your nipple once more, flicking it back and forth between his fingers until the same thing happened again, only this time his tongue darted out between his teeth to catch it, leaving a trail of warmth that filled your insides with butterflies.

"Can I—could I suck on them? Please, baby?" You went silent before giving him a small nod and he sighed in relief, his mouth immediately latching onto your breast. He groaned as your milk began to flow and fill his mouth, and he gladly sucked down every drop you could produce for him. His eyes closed, and the most serene look came over him; it was like every worry he had was instantly washed away.

"You look so good, Aaron. Wish I could take a picture," you breathed, and his eyes opened briefly, looking towards the bedside table.

"My phone is right there," your mouth fell open as his eyes shut once more, shocked that he'd allow you to snap a photo. You did it anyway, saving it for later, more focused on Aaron, who seemed to be having the time of his life. You ran your fingers through his hair, making him stop after a few minutes, a huff escaping his lips at the loss of contact.

"Just switch sides baby, you don't have to stop."

He repositioned his head so he could move to your other boob, your hand gently cupping his face until he went still, letting your nipple fall from his mouth, a bit of milk rolling down your chest. He was sound asleep, even snoring slightly, his arms wrapped around your waist, his head on your chest.

It had become a normal thing; you didn't even bat a lash at it anymore. It was something Aaron did for comfort, and you couldn't deny how it had solidified the bond you had with him tremendously, more trust and love in your relationship than most normal ones.

He started to strip, not stopping until he was left only in his boxers, letting you get comfortable against the headboard, a mound of pillows behind your back. You were quick to lift your tank top over your head, your breasts swollen and sensitive to the touch because your daughter had been gone and you hadn't pumped yet. Aaron was climbing between your legs, resting his head on your stomach before he took your nipple into his mouth, a hum of satisfaction leaving his lips when he finally had what he wanted. You gently brushed the hair away from his face, cupping his cheek tenderly as he sucked on your breast, his hand holding your boob to his mouth.

"You're such a good mama," he said through tired eyes, already starting to flutter shut—it could put him to sleep so quickly, Aaron just as milk drunk as your daughter would get. You let him stay put until it was time to switch, taking your nipple from his mouth to give him the other, a soft smile resting on his face as he latched back onto you.

"Just let me help, Aaron. Let me take care of you."

He didn't argue; in fact, he gave you a small nod before wrapping his arms around your waist, his face buried in your chest as he allowed himself to drift off to sleep in the safety of your embrace.

Master tags: @wheelsupkels @periodtcevans @hausofwhores @criminallyobsessedcm @tojithesourcerkiller @fireworksinthesky @pedrohoe04 @rousethemouse @thegettingbyp2 @mojo366

#ssa aaron hotchner smut #ssa hotchner smut #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner au #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader smut #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner gif #aaron hotchner x fem reader #Aaron hotchner #Hotch smut #criminal minds

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itsnotgray · 5 months

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miscommunication, a jamie and trevor fic | part 1

lower case is intended! also… please be kind.

it felt like it had been weeks since you’d seen, much less felt trevor or jamie. when you’d wake up, they’d both be gone- and if they weren’t, they’d stay suspiciously close to eachother, seemingly drifting farther and farther from you, which gave you plenty of time to think.

“are they disgusted by me now?” “have they thought sharing was weird this whole time?” “are they kicking me out?”

it was driving you insane. it was just a never ending loop. finally, by the third week, you’d had enough.

it was after they had gotten back from a home game, winning the game in OT. they came in, on a high, but we’re instantly shut down by the blank look on your face as they walked in the door.

“sit.” you said firmly, gesturing to the couch. they quickly dropped their bags, making quick pace towards the couch, looking at one another in confusion.

once they sat down, you took a deep breath, and then let the overbearing thoughts loose in a nervous ramble.

“are you guys tired of me?” came the first exasperated question, crossing your arms as you began to pace anxiously. “does sharing bother you guys more than you said? are one of you guys trying to date?” you kept on, words getting faster, hands getting shakier, vison getting blurrier as the tears accumulated.

jamie and trveor sat wide eyed, mentally contemplating just how much they had fucked things up. until you let out the question that seemed to be bothering you the most. “FUCK- are you guys kicking me out? if that’s the case then please just tell me, so i can start packing my stuff, but please don’t-“ and finally they each reached out, both extending one of their hands out to rest on your thighs, effectively halting your pacing.

you lifted your head up from it’s hung position, tears spilling out at a much faster rate.

“sweetheart” jamie muttered in a sorrow-filled tone, as trevor stroked your thigh soothingly. at his utterance, you bursted into sobs. “that’s the one isn’t it? god i’m so stupid, i’m sorry, you guys should’ve just said-“

quickly, they both jumped to their feet, jamie wrapping you in a hug, tucking your head in his neck, running his hands soothingly through your hair, and trevor standing to your left, running a hand rhythmically up and down your back. “no baby no. there’s a lot of things we should’ve said, and that certainly isn’t one of them.”

at his assurance, you carefully lifted your head from jamie’s neck, tearful eyes meeting trevor’s. “then what?”

trevor reached one of his hands towards your face, carefully gripping your chin, holding it so you’d keep his gaze. “y/n- the last thing on either of our minds is kicking you out. to try and eliminate confusion as fast as possible- we both like you baby. we both like this thing we have going, and just so happened to both catch feelings for you. me and jimmy started talking about it a few weeks ago, but we were too nervous to bring it up.”

and you froze. how would it work? what if someone got too jealous? is that even something you’d want? and then you thought. the past few months have been amazing- both boys have been as perfect as two boys as roommates could be. you could create mental lists miles long of the all the good things about the duo. on that note, a life with them seemed almost more desired than a life without one or the other.

the longer your silence went on for, the more dejected trevor’s face got, and the looser jamie’s grip on your body seemed.

once you finally snapped out of the trance, you noticed the apprehension of the two boys growing. so you made a split decision.

first, you reached your hand up, cupping jamie’s jaw, and bringing his lips to meet yours in a deep kiss. then you abruptly pulled away, and reached an arm out to the dejected trevor, who had seemed to have grown apprehensive at your “jamie-centric” reaction. once you had a firm enough grip on his shoulders, you brought him in to a bruising kiss.

after finally pulling away from trevor, you spun around to jamie, growing fearful of their reactions to your actions.

“i-im sorry if that’s not what you guys meant, i like the idea of being with both of you too, but i’m not sure how-“

and jamie quickly pulled you towards him, his lips meeting yours once again. once it seemed your erratic behavior had left your body, he pulled away, taking your jaw in both of his hands to make you meet his gaze.

“sweetheart, i think i can speak for myself, trevor, and the hard-on trevor is sporting in his pants. that was hot- and exactly what we meant. you have no apologizing to do. if anything, we owe you weeks of apologies sweet girl, for ever making you feel like we didn’t want you.” he spoke softly yet assuredly. after his last sentence, he glanced over your shoulder, towards trevor, and then back to you.

“i think your in for a night of apologies baby- don’t you think so z?”

you timidly glanced towards trevor, trying to scope out if his response affirmed what you thought to be jamie’s innuendos.

trevor took a step towards you and jamie, with his trademark cocky grin on his face, and with his grin, came your confirmation, which sent heat flooding to your core. but alas his grin was the prequel to his following words.

“i think so too jimmy. our girl’s been so good, huh? so proud of you for telling us how you feel. me and jimmy are gonna make sure that by the end of the night, all you can do is feel us sweetheart. we’re gonna be the only things your pretty little brain can think of.”

his mini speech sent waves of lust throughout your body, alighting your every nerve. he took another step closer, side by side with jamie now, reaching his hands up to harshly grip both of your breasts in his hands, making you to let out high pitched whimpers. at your inviting noises,

jamie’s hands joined trevor’s to explore your oh so familiar body. and while the two sets of hands continued their journey across the plains of your body, three pairs of feet began to clumsily stumble towards the bedroom.

#jamie drysdale imagines #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras #jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale x reader #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #gray writes

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severidescigar · 2 years

Text

Little sister, big problems - Kelly Severide

Fandom: One Chicago

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader

Requests: Can I request an imagine with Kelly severide? Your parents are non existent and you have to look after your baby sister and the babysitter falls through so u have to bring her to the station?

•••

Life hasn't always been the kindest to you. Your mom had you in her teen years and with your dad completely out of the picture she worked tirelessly to raise you on her own. Fortunately, she remarried and alongside your stepfather they gave you the most beautiful childhood you could ask for. It was later in your life when things started to go bad and everything became more complicated. You watched your mother go through fertility treatment after fertility treatment and it hurt you a lot seeing how unsuccessful they were, knowing your mom's biggest dream was to have two daughters. But somehow, by some miracle, it happened and you had a beautiful baby sister. Life had finally started to look upwards again when a drunk driver claimed the life of your parents on a random Thursday, when you offered to babysit your then one year old sister so they could go on a date night...and ever since it's been just the two of you.

You were in your 3rd year of med school when everything unfolded and ultimately you took the decision to drop out and find another career path, one which will not put you in debt and will allow you to go straight to work, so you could provide for yourself and for your little sister.

Fast forward a few years later you were now working as a paramedic on Ambo 61 and you finally found the balance you needed so badly. "How are things with Severide going? I haven't seen you at Molly's lately and I thoight something was up..." Sylvie said as the two of you were restocking the rig. "Oh no, nothing like that...we're doing great I just have to look after my little sister and since my cousin moved to another city, I need to call the babysitter everytime I want to go out." and just as you said those words you saw the babysitter's car pulling up in front of the firehouse sending you into a state of panic. You immediately dropped everything you were doing and ran towards them to see what was up. Passing the squad table, Kelly also got up noticing what was going on and decided to follow you.

"Hey, everything's alright? " you asked picking up your little sister, Bria as she seemed super excited to see you. "I'm sorry for dropping in like this, but my mom slipped on ice and she's in the ER so I really have to go be with her." The babysitter said handing you Bria's bag with her stuff. Nodding in understatement and after wishing her mom well you turned around to head back into the firehouse, just to find Kelly and Bria already laughing with each other at the Squad table. "Looks like you already made yourself at home, little lady." You said actually amused at how she already had the squad guys wrapped around her finger. "Come on! Let's tell Chief you're staying here this shift." You said extending your hand waiting for her to grab it, but instead she just wrapped her little arms around Kelly's neck. "I guess you're gonna have to talk to Boden alone." Kelly spoke and before you could answer, a call came in for Ambo. "Alright, you be good and play with your toys...they're in the bag." You quickly said while heading towards the Ambo. "Don't mind us, we'll be having fun over here!" Kelly reassured you and they headed inside.

While you were out on the call, Bria was quickly warming up to everyone at 51. She's been there before but only for quick trips and now everyone was trying to keep her entertained. "Do you want to go take a nap?" Kelly asked as he noticed Bria yawning and she nodded in agreement. Picking her up they headed to Kelly's quarters far away from all the commotion. "When is Y/N coming back? She always stays with me until I fall asleep." Bria mumbled while rubbing her eyes. "It might be a while, but I'll stay here with you until she comes back." He said dimming the light but not turning it off completely, as he already knew the little girl was scared of darkness. "Kelly can I ask you something?" Nodding in response he waited for her to continue. "Why don't you live with us?" Letting out a chuckle at the question, Kelly had to give it a second to actually find an answer to that question. "Why? Do you think I should?" "Well yes, you know Y/N makes me pancakes every morning so maybe you should make her pancakes in the morning too., so if you'd live with us you could do that." At this point Bria seemed wide awake propped on her elbows and demanding answers from Kelly who tried his best not to laugh at the fact that Bria was just a mini version of you. "Alright, then tomorrow morning I'll make you both pancakes...but you have to sleep now, it's getting late." He once again tried to tuck her in. "With blueberries?" Bria stuck out her pinky finger waiting for Kelly to do the same. "Yes with blueberries!" Once content with his answer Bria slowly fell asleep right when Y/N arrived.

"Did she give you a hard time?" you asked as Kelly carefully closed the door to his quarters and gave you a kiss. "Not at all, but I've been ordered to make pancakes for the two of you in the morning."

Bria slept through the entire night and thankfully there wasn't another call until the end of the shift. Once arriving home Y/N carried her little sister to bed as it was still early and Kelly made sure to fulfill his promise. "You really don't have to do that..." you said knowing how sassy but also persuasive your little sister was. "But I want to...and I also pinky promised so." Kelly spoke getting all the ingredients out on the counter and you wasted no time helping him.

You and Kelly have been dating for a while but sometimes you still held a wall up because one, you were scared of getting hurt again and two, you really wanted to focus on Bria and make sure she has everything she possibly needs to have a good and healthy upbringing.

"I smell pancakes!" the joyful voice of your little sister echoed throughout the kitchen as she came running in, cllimbing into her seat. As Kelly served her the plate of her favorite pancakes, Bria didn't waste any time and dug right in.

"I'll stick around for a while...if you don't mind." Kelly said wrapping an arm around you and placing a kiss on your temple. That's when you realized it was time to let your guard down and despite all the rainy days you had, the sunny ones looked like they were here to stay. "I'd love that actually!"

#kelly severide #kelly severide one shot #kelly severide imagine #kelly severide x reader #chicago fire #stellaride

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 2 years

Text

Groomzilla | Yandere Vil Schoenheit x Fem Reader

Oftentimes growing up you were lovingly called a control freak and in all honesty you probably were. That feature did seem to null a bit when you were brought to Twisted Wonderland and any kind of control you had was absolutely taken away from you as you tried to make due with your situation.

Through all the chaos you met the love of your life: Vil Schoenheit. The first time you met him he was just a pretty face under a hood in an unfamiliar place. Now ten years later from your unexpected arrival at Night Raven you two are tying the knot. Having maintained close relationships with the friends you made at the college, Vil was always present. Even when you eventually made the decision to leave Ramshackle full-well knowing you may never return home he was there. When you were just starting to look for work for a non-magical person, he was there. And when you finally were settled he still stuck around practically screaming at you to go ahead and date him. From there it was history.

“NO!!! YOU IDIOTS!!!! BABIES' BREATH WILL KILL US DO YOU WANT TO BE A MURDERER!”

“But it only causes slight irritation to the ski-”

“ARE YOU HEARING YOURSELF!?!?!?! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBECILE.”

You quietly sipped your tea as your supermodel fiance yelled at the wedding florists. This was the sixth time he had instigated a onesided screaming match synonymous with those bridezilla freak-outs you used to watch. Before you came to this world you were sure if you should ever be married you would be the bridezilla. Not in this case.

“I’LL WIPE YOUR FACE OFF THE ENDS OF THIS WORLD! NOT EVEN, I’LL WIPE YOUR NAME FROM EXISTENCE–!”

Yeah, you need back up.

________________________________

Thankfully most of the people you wanted on call were in positions to take at least a couple of times off work.

“Rook it's so good to see you, again!”

“Madame filou du Poison, same here!”

Exchanging the customary kisses you pulled away.

“What's with the nickname change?”

“Naturally you’ve inherited the position as his queen of poisons.”

“Oh Rook.”

“You’re making me feel like chopped liver, dear.”

“Da-Crewel!!”

Hugging him tight recognnizing his cologne and puffy clothes. You were debating with yourself about who you wanted to walk you down the aisle and Crewel was a top runner. Next to Trein and Crowley. The former being someone who’s done this two times before and Crowley being a negligent lazy headmaster who did house you but you were still figuring it out.

“I trust the showdog is treating you well?”

“Oh he’s perfectly fine to me…”

The two looked worriedly between each other before looking back at you. You sighed looking back to make sure your fiance was still chewing out the poor waiter.

“That's actually why I called you guys in…ah Vil’s great with design and just beauty in general but I think he’s a little stressed out so when he asks for certain things…well-”

*Crash*

You heard the crying before you felt the waiter run past you and out the door. You turned to see the concerned faces of your help and decided to make your escape.

“So I leave it to you guys. Oh and for reference I’m rooting for the (specific theme) theme, bye!” You walked past them making your quick escape as you watched your getaway car pull-up.

“You still haven’t answered the question about who’s walking you down the aisle!”

You waved to them speeding away as Vil closed in upon them.

“So this is my team. Ugh, you’ll have to do since she’s not here.”

“I’m sure I taught you better manners than that cur. Now behave!”

“Roi du Poison! You look especially cross, how about we talk over coffee.”

“Coffee…coffee…that BRAINLESS IDIOT MESSED UP MY COFFEE!”

Oh boy aren’t we in for a treat? _____________________________________________________________

“I just had to get away. He's been so touchy since we’ve started actually planning–nope, not that one–I mean before I came here I was worried I’d be the bridezilla–yes, if it comes in a bigger size.”

“Humans like him just don’t–pearls yes or no, ok–handle the future well. Methinks you should really figure out if he’s really ready for this–Yes!!!”

You were dress shopping with your girlfriends and Lilia who oddly enough asked to be a part of it. He said something along the lines of having only sons that weren’t exactly going to settle anytime soon and you found that he was really good at picking dresses out. You took in his advice as you were dressed in one of your options.

___________________________________________________________

“..Hey you in here?”

You knocked as you let yourself into the hotel suite Vil was staying in. Frantic and angry texts from your ‘backup’ team told you that he had another freak-out today, one that was leagues worse than what happened before.

He was lounging in the master bedroom with a face mask and cucumbers on his eyelids. This wasn’t a face mask that he couldn’t speak with but you figured this is his payback for leaving him alone for today. You sat beside him on the bed

“I know you didn’t like that I left you today..”

“...”

“..but I felt like maybe I was the one stressing you out.”

You tried to search for a reaction but got nothing so you continued.

“I just want to know if maybe this is too much for you…maybe we’re not really ready if the future is freaking you out this much…and I’m okay with it it's still early and I’m sure everyone will under-”

“Do you really think that’s why I’m angry?”

He was sitting up, cucumbers off and looking at you with cloudy eyes. You shrugged your shoulders, in turn earning an annoyed huff before he got up to clean his face in the bathroom.

You followed him as you leaned on the doorway.

“If that’s not it, what is? It's just that you’ve been so out of character and you’ve been treating all the staff pretty horribly–”

“Did you really think I was just doing this because?” Practically scoffing while continuing his routine he looked at you through the mirror while leaning on the sink. “(Y/n) would you seriously believe I wouldn’t want our day to be perfect?! Like I would settle for nothing but perfection on this day?!’

“Well I–”

“And to believe you would want to cancel after all I’ve done to make sure our day is perfect! You think I’m scared of the future!?”

“Then what is the problem, Vil?! If it's not that, then what?! Why have you treated everyone so badly!?”

“Because they're ruining our wedding!? Don’t you want to have the perfect wedding day?!”

“But they're not trying to ruin it. Everyone has simply been trying to help and you’ve just been screaming at everyone like they're trying to kill us!”

“Well. Maybe. They. Are.”

“...What are you talking about?”

His face fell and he exhaled with a look of annoyance. Not with you, but with himself as he plopped onto the bed. You joined him, curling yourself onto the bed prepared for the story you knew would be coming.

“A little while back when I first decided I wanted to get a ring for you I was very very careful to not let paparazzi or really anyone know what I was doing there. I thought I had cleared everyone I would be dealing with but apparently someone was still…the first ring was laced with a poison that would have quickly killed you. On top of that there was a tracker in it.”

You gawked at him before shaking it off.

“How did you find out?”

Your fiance smirked as he flipped his tied up ponytail, “Rook calls me King of Poisons for a reason.” His tone shifted to the more serious one as he continued.

“The second incident occurred just before we went to that resort. One of those spoiled potatoes leaked where preciesely you were living at the time. Granted I–ahem my team and I took care of the leak and I’ve been adament about us traveling lately in case anyone actually took them up on it. Now don’t worry I have someone watching your place its–”

He stopped as he felt the warmth and weight of you launching yourself into his arms squeezing him. He held you closer to himself as he felt your fists tighten around his robe. He could feel your lips move against the layer of silk and the vibration of your voice.

“What did you say?”

You were still so quietly mumbling into his chest, “why did you go through that alone?” Vil immediately was overwhelmed with guilt; the concept was a vow you two had established. Thinking back to the time when he proposed and you then proposed to him getting on your knees as well.

He promised you that he wouldn’t shoulder his responsibility alone anymore.

He promised that the two of you would bring one another on every twist and turn that life threw at you two.

A promise he broke letting himself go through the stress of keeping the both of you alive. You didn’t hold it against him, as you knew this was new for him. To have little to no clue as to what the next obstacle would be, especially when it was trying to kill you. You talked into the night falling asleep cuddled up next to him.

“Next time let me know…okay?”

“I will. I will (Y/n)...”

__________________________________________________________________________

From that point on there was a difference. He was still incredibly intense to staff but he wasn’t sending everyone out crying. He was back to being his poise and proper self as he included you in his system of security. By the time you chose your dress you could recite the name and address of all the people working on your wedding.

As the fated date grew closer and as Vil began to open up, a cruel reality was revealed to you. The employees or faces that do show up with incriminating backgrounds of course didn’t show up again but on your research you found they didn’t show up anywhere. Deleted social media pages, deleted comments, confidential obituaries were wiped off of the face of the known world. When you brought it up to Vil, he feigned ignorance not bothering to remember ‘the names of rotten potatoes.’ Saddled with a questionable theory you were debating if it was still right to say–

____________________________________________________________________________

“ I do!”

“You may kiss the bride.” The crowd erupted in a series of whoops and hollers as your lips met with your husband. You decided that the worry would be for later and that for now you’d focus on just enjoying the day with the love of your life. The traditions commenced, cutting the cake, and throwing your bouquet; it was as magical as you two had planned it to be.

Escaping the bustle of the commotion you snuck out of the reception to take a breather at a fountain partially shadowed in darkness illuminated by hanging lights. You were finally able to relax, slouching as you exhaled into the sky.

“I’m glad to find you out here, I wasn’t sure I’d even get to speak to you before the night was up.”

Coming to sit beside you was your husband, still looking as stylish from the ceremony but in a rougher haze. Holding two drinks he offered one to you that you took a sip of before recalling the taste as an overwhelming sense of ease drifted through your body.

“Vil–!?”

He pulled you into him as you swayed looking up at him with as much confusion as you could muster. Holding you close you could feel the vibration of his voice reverberating in your ear as he uttered the incantation.

“About the ones we found, forget about them, for me Love?”

It was a question…an honest turn of phrase that gave an out to anyone who ever consumed the potion. A choice to obey the suggestion before or to ignore it. You knew its taste and you were faced with a decision to know the real fate of anyone who crossed Vil Schoenheit or to forget. To live in your blissful ignorance as he devoted himself to your protection and happiness.

“We said never alone again,” you held his painted face as his lips began to tremble.

You stared deep into his violet eyes as you carefully put your drink down to bring his face closer to yours. Practically nose to nose as you both let the inevitable stream of tears slightly smear your makeup.

“You don’t have to solve this alone, I won’t let you, Vil. Because I love you, I’m not letting you shoulder this alone ever again.”

He sobbed, curling into you as you both held each other into the night with only the stars to witness the true union of (Y/n) (L/n) and Vil Schoenheit.

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harrysmimi · 1 year

Text

Penguin Walk

Synopsis: One where Harry's got two more girls obsessing over him. Plot twist is: he loves it!

More of my work

Harry had just gotten home from tour.

Two months away from his girls was dreading for him. Little Tara and Roza came into his and his girlfriend's life unexpectedly but has he been obsessed with his girls. They were both just a week after his birthday.

He had to postpone his tour for a year announcing the actual reason behind him wanting to take a break, to be there for his family. His fans were very respective of his decision and it felt even more rewarding to go perform again.

Though he never thought he'd say it but he was very grateful to off tour not to just write new music but to be there with his family. He'd already missed his babies taking their first steps but YN made sure to take videos for him. They take that from their mother, who according to grandma started walking when she was their age. Harry was a late bloomer as a baby. The twins are about eleven months old now.

Today as he walked through the door with all his luggage, all tired and run down, he was met by two girls making their way to him doing their penguin walk he's been obsessed with. Each of them clung to his legs squealing and giggling.

"Papa! Papa!" They both chanted raising their chubby arms up so he can pick them up. He'd managed to pick up both of them in his arms and give them a big cuddle.

"Papa missed you two so much!" He gave each of them kisses.

Both the girls were identical but Tara wasn't a big fan of him but her mum's, she still loves him. Not as much as her mum though. Little Roza never likes to leave him alone.

They've grown so much since he's last seen them two months ago. They're chunkier (even though they both were the smallest and most delicate creatures when they were just born), their hair is longer and fuller and a little darker blonde. Their cheeks has red pillow marks from probably just taking a greatest afternoon nap, their faces puffy from good sleep.

"Where is Mumma?" He asked and Tara pointed to the kitchen. "Hello my darling!"

"Hi!" YN exclaimed seeing him.

Harry placed the twins down carefully on the floor to greet the mother of his children with a hug. "I missed you as well!"

"Oh how lucky I am!" She sighed hugging him back, "I missed you."

"I know, I'm never leaving any of you alone." He squeezed her tightly, "what are you making?"

"Your favourite." She pulled her head away from his chest to look at the food cooking up on the stove.

YN had just gotten off work before she started on dinner. She works from home so it was easier on her to look after the girls as well. They never troubled her, usually they're playing in harmony. Until someone wants the same toy the other one is playing with and end up in hair pulling fights and cries and screams. But mostly they were good for her.

"Thank you so much, baby." He placed a long awaited kiss on her mouth. "Were the girls nice to you?"

"Mhmm. Coco here was a big pain in the bum." YN looked at the cat roaming around like she owns the place. She shot her mother a judging look.

Harry just chuckled, "I'll go take a quick shower and come down to help you, yeah?" He suggested pressing a kiss to back on YN's head.

"Mhmm." YN nodded.

Well, least to say Harry got distracted after his shower having a good play time with his little girls. One moment they were having play time at the play area, the girls making him pretend food in their little kitchen set and the other moment they were chasing each other.

"I'm gonna get you!" He cooed walking behind Tara and Roza doing thier little penguin run, until Roza fell straight on her bum and started laughing her heart out.

"Gotcha!" He exclaimed getting on his knees to attack Roza with gentle tickles. "Oh, no!" He pretend screamed watching Tara come to her twin's rescue, giving him sloppy wet kisses all over his face.

Now Harry was being attacked by two babies and also a cat lying on the floor. All his tiredness seem to disappear.

"Help! No!" He squealed. "YN help!"

"Don't drag me into it." YN laughed filming her husband, on the carpet.

The girls gasped when their dad picked them up and plopped them on the sofa with a tickle attack. The calmness was long gone as the house was filled with giggles and squeals and screams. He finally stopped, so they can breathe watching them belly laugh.

Harry was very happy to be back with his girls. Just in time for the holidays.

......................................................................

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all-the-things-2020 · 4 months

Text

Finding His Way - Chapter One

Summary: The Mandalorian makes an impulsive decision.

Notes: This was my first fanfiction, written in early 2020. This is my own little vision of how things could have played out for our favorite space dad and his kid. Cameo appearances by original trilogy characters in later chapters (and one sequel character cameo). My knowledge of Star Wars lore at the time came from having seen the original trilogy, sequel trilogy and season 1 of The Mandalorian, supplemented by some quick internet research. Most planets, etc. are just made up.

The Mandalorian made his way through the crowded streets of Crata Frin, a town that he’d thought would be a quiet backwater. He probably would have had better luck finding the supplies he needed in a larger town, but ever since the encounter with Moff Gideon on Nevarro, he was trying to keep as low a profile as possible. Well, as low a profile as a fully armored Mandalorian could keep. For some reason, the small town was swarming with people. He’d been lucky to find a place to land less than half a mile from the outskirts; not too many off-world ships, but plenty of land speeders, transport vehicles, and one of those ubiquitous Jawa monstrosities. At least with so many other ships around, there were plenty of parking attendants to make sure the Jawas couldn’t strip the Razor Crest again.

He had been hesitant to leave the Child alone in the ship, but the kid had finally fallen asleep after running around for close to four hours straight. A good portion of that time had been spent playing the kid’s new favorite game: making various bits of hardware fly around using the mysterious force that had saved Mando’s life several times already. It hadn’t been a huge expenditure of energy, but enough that Mando was sure the kid would sleep soundly for several hours. Enough time for the errands he needed to run, especially since he wouldn’t have to keep an eye on the kid. Still, he hated to leave the Child alone even for a short time. This whole being a father thing was hard to get used to.

Mando suppressed a sigh as the crowd around him slowed even more. Of course the food vendors had to be on the far side of town. He adjusted the bag of supplies slung over his back and looked for a quicker route through the mass of people. Normally, his armor and weaponry cleared a wide path through any crowd, but the streets here were narrow and everyone seemed tired and grumpy as the long, dusty day drew to a close.

Seeing a slightly less busy alleyway, Mando ducked into it. It was never a good idea to go into strange alleyways, but it led in the general direction he needed to go and he hadn’t seen anyone so far who would be any sort of challenge to his fighting ability. Unfortunately, the alley emptied out into a tightly packed square. At one end was a raised platform where a bored looking auctioneer was showing off a reptilian creature wearing manacles and a very tight leather collar around its neck. Ah, a slave market, Mando thought. That explains the crowd. Slaving was technically illegal in the New Republic, but auctions like this still popped up, usually in out of the way places like this.

Mando looked to either side, trying to decide which way to skirt the square. His ship was towards his left, but the main entrance to the square was also in that direction and he decided to go right. It would be less direct, but he could get out of the square through another alleyway he saw just beyond the slave pen.

It was slow going, as the spectators were reluctant to move out of his way. This must be a rougher place than I thought, if even a fully armored Mandalorian can’t impress these folks. He hoped the kid was still asleep; as he grew more proficient with his powers, the Child was able to open just about every lock on the ship and Mando was starting to worry that he’d find the kid in his arsenal one of these days. Leaving a baby alone with access to weapons probably wasn’t considered good parenting.

As he neared the slave pen, Mando realized there were children for sale. His hands clenched. There wasn’t much he could do about it without destroying the entire town, and there would be far too much collateral damage. Still, his heart ached for them; he could have easily ended up in a similar situation after the death of his parents if the Mandalorians hadn’t rescued him. Even if he had enough money to buy them all and give them their freedom, he didn’t have enough room on the Razor Crest to fit them all, and how could he choose just one? Besides, one foundling was more than enough for now.

Still inching his way around the edge of the square, he saw a woman bending down to smooth back the hair of one of the children. She wiped the child’s tears and smiled encouragingly, but her own eyes held a haunted look. Her slave collar was plain, dull metal; she’d clearly worn it for a long time, judging from the nicks and dents. As Mando passed the fence separating the waiting slaves from the crowd, the woman looked up at him. She scanned the crowd wearily, then turned back to another child who was tugging at her shirt hem. There was nothing special about her smudged face, tangled hair, or dull brown eyes. Still, Mando froze. I’m going to regret this, he thought, as he signaled to the obsequious Twi’lek who seemed to be in charge of the slaves.

“How much for the woman?” Mando asked, pointing her out,

“That one?” the Twi’lek said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sure a proud warrior like yourself has better taste than that. We’ve got some lovely young things from Dantooine that will be on the block in just a few minutes.”

“No. That one. How much?” Mando was getting impatient. The kid could wake up any minute.

The Twi’lek shrugged. “Suit yourself, Mando. We’ll probably get 75 for her, maybe 100 if she doesn’t trip and fall on the way onto the platform.” He snickered and Mando wanted to punch him in the face. But that would just delay things and he needed to get back to the ship.

“I’ll give you 125,” he said, reaching for his money pouch. He shook out a handful of credits and held them out. He could see the Twi’lek’s eyes light up with greed; he’d likely tacked at least 50% onto the price he’d quoted but Mando just wanted to get out of this place and safely back into space.

The Twi’lek snatched up the credits and produced a leather-handled chain from his pocket. “Enjoy your purchase,” he said, snapping the clasp on the end of the chain to the hook on the woman’s collar and dropping the handle into Mando’s gloved hand.

**********************

Mariana had been standing in the slave pen for most of the day. She knew she would be one of the last to go across the auction platform; her reputation as not being good for much preceded her. It would be her, the smaller children, the older folks, and those with physical deformities knocked down for bargain prices after the more desirable slaves had been sold. Until then, there wasn’t much to do but stand around and try to keep the little ones’ spirits up. It was always hardest for them; once you’d been across that platform a few times, it was easier to be resigned to one’s fate.

She smoothed Calan’s hair back from his face for the umpteenth time that day. Hopefully whoever bought the kid would trim it for him. She’d have done it for him, but no one would trust her with anything sharp in the slave pen, and anyway, she’d probably just chop the poor boy’s nose off.

“It’ll be okay,” she lied. She hoped Calan would be okay, but she had no idea. It was the same lie she repeated to herself every time she changed masters. She wiped a tear from the boy’s face and patted his shoulder. Once again, she scanned the crowd, wondering dully who she’d end up leaving with, but it was all a blur of faces, human and otherwise, as well as a fair share of shiny helmets. What kind of person wears a full helmet in this heat? She was sure none of them were upstanding citizens, but then again, how many decent folk were hanging around a slave auction?

One of the little girls who’d come in with Calan tugged on Mariana’s shirt and she turned to find out what the kid needed now. She’d refused to tell anyone her name, but she kept asking for water or something to eat or a toy. Mariana thought the girl was in shock.

Suddenly, the Twi’lek guard was clipping a chain to the ring on her collar. Mariana was confused. It was way too early for her to be sent onto the block. As she looked up from the little girl, she saw a gloved hand take the handle of the leash. It was one of the helmeted warriors she’d spied in the crowd.

“Come on,” the man said evenly, his voice modulated by the helmet but not overly so. The T shaped visor marked him as a Mandalorian, so he probably was human underneath all that armor. Mariana shrugged to the kids and tried to climb over the low fence that separated the slave pen from the rest of the square. She heard the Twi’lek snigger as she caught her knee on the top rail and nearly took a header. Her new owner was silent, but he did stand patiently as she got her feet under her. As soon as she was steady again, he motioned for her to start walking.

She followed as closely as she could, but he was taller than her and once they left the square, he started striding out more quickly. Someone’s in a hurry, she thought as she scurried to keep up. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing for her or not. There weren’t that many reasons why a man would be in a rush to get a woman alone, and he was clearly heading out of town. As usual, a million questions swirled through Mariana’s head but she’d long ago learned the truth behind the old saying “Curiosity killed the loth-cat.” Asking questions was never a good idea until she’d taken a better measure of her new owner’s temper. Instead of opening her mouth, she tried to remember anything she’d learned about Mandalorians. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much. They were secretive ever since the Empire’s purge, and known mostly for their formidable fighting skills. It would be best not to cross him.

It didn’t take long for them to reach the edge of town, and Mariana was out of breath long before they reached the battered but shiny ship parked on the dusty plain. She couldn’t have asked a question even if she’d wanted to risk it. Her owner pressed a button on his wrist and the ship’s ramp lowered. Without breaking stride, he led her into the belly of the craft.

Her first thought was that it was dark and cluttered. Her second thought was cut short by a clatter of metal ringing from somewhere in the gloom.

The Mandalorian muttered something she assumed was a swear word and dropped the handle of her leash. He darted forward and began rummaging around behind a pile of junk.

“Where are you, ad’ika?” he said. “Come on. Please. Aha!”

He emerged from the dark holding something small and wiggly in his arms. As he turned toward Mariana, she saw that the creature was green, bat-eared and absolutely adorable. Huge, dark eyes shone with mischief and a tiny three-fingered hand waved a shard of metal at her.

The Mandalorian sighed. “I’m sure you’ve been wondering why I bought you. Well, here he is.”

Mariana didn’t know what to say. She took a step closer, and the little creature grinned widely, showing off the tiniest, most beautiful teeth she’d ever seen. “What … what is he?”

“If you mean what species, I don’t know,” the Mandalorian admitted. “As for who he is, he’s … my son. Well, foundling.”

Mariana couldn’t believe her ears. This impressively armored warrior was stumbling over his words, clearly as in awe of the little fellow as she was. “So … you bought me to be a babysitter?” She stifled a laugh.

“More or less,” he said. “And I didn’t buy you; I bought your freedom. You can work off the debt by helping with the kid. If you want to.”

Once again, Mariana didn’t know what to say. Had this man just offered her freedom? She swallowed and looked down at the floor. When she looked back up, her eyes met the blank metal face of his helmet … and the bright eyes of his child, who had tilted his head like a puppy.

“Um, yeah,” she said. “I think I’d like that.”

“Good,” said the Mandalorian, shoving the baby at her. “Keep him out of trouble while I prep the ship for launch.”

Mariana barely had time to realize she was holding the creature before the man was gone, bustling around the ship pushing buttons and pulling levers. The little one was small but solid. Still, he wasn’t very heavy and he nestled easily in her arms. A low purring coo issued from his mouth as he offered her the metal piece he’d been playing with.

“Oh, thanks,” she said. “You really shouldn’t be playing with stuff like that. You could get hurt.” She gingerly took the shard from him, but not carefully enough. It slipped in her hand and sliced across the base of her thumb. “Ouch!” She dropped the piece of metal on the floor. “I hope your dad has a good med kit.”

The green child giggled and reached for her hand. “Don’t laugh. This happens to me a lot. It’s not funny.” Still, she found herself smiling back at the creature. She still wasn’t sure how much she could trust her new owner … no, boss .. but she certainly wanted to spend more time with this little fellow.

The ship began to shudder as the engines fired. Mariana found a crate to sit on and cradled the baby closer. “Hang on,” she said. “Here we go.”

#the mandalorian #star wars #grogu #baby yoda #din djarin #pedro pascal character fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x original female character

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the1975attheirverybest · 6 months

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hi! longtime lurker, first time commenter and i need your help with something. i made a tiktok video about a recent 1975 show i went to and someone left a comment saying “he’s a racist but sure” referring to matty and i feel conflicted about their comment because while i don’t believe that’s true, i also don’t know if my love for the band and for matty has made me quick to dismiss some of his more problematic behavior. i know you’ve talked a bit on here about wrestling with this and i was curious if you would mind sharing how that process has been for you and where you’ve landed with it. thanks in advance :)

Hiii 💗 thank you for reaching out.

Yeah, this is something that came up a lot for me last year and earlier this year with the whole podcast drama. I’ve spoken about it in great detail before but since the tags STILL 😡 don’t work on here I can’t find the posts.

I think it’s ultimately a personal choice that you have to make for yourself. I won’t tell you what to think or do, but I can tell you how *I* think about it.

It’s normal to question yourself, I think. I mean, none of us really know Matty on a personal level, right? I think o wondered if, like, my love for his work and attraction to him had blinded me to some bitter truths about who he is. And I tend to pride myself on critical thinking and always talk about nuance on here, so what kind of person would I be if I didn’t practice what I preach, right? I took a step back and examined it all.

I went back through interviews, stage “speeches,” tweets, jokes, etc. saw them IN CONTEXT (cuz we all know how the internet loves to take stuff out of context and twist its meaning), thought about each instance and whether I perceived it to be harmful, bigoted, etc. or not, and kinda decided from there. I went through each and every single accusation, looking at it in context, thought about it, heard the arguments, and made my decision.

The conclusion that I came to after this examination, looking at actual evidence and the actual words that he used and the situations that he’s used them in, is that he’s not racist. Not at all.

A racist person wouldn’t write songs like Loving Someone, LIIWMI, etc. mind you this all happened in 2018, NOT the summer of 2020 when it was suddenly hip and cool and profitable for celebrities to be “woke.” I think he has a career-long record of showing exactly who he is. Whether it was in his best interest to do so or not.

I also found, through this digging and thinking about it, that he has his blind spots (as every human being does). He’s insanely privileged and doesn’t always seem to realize how his privilege has molded his experience of the world. The nepo-baby argument that he always makes is a great example of this. His stance on gender is also another example. So, as a result of his privilege, he will sometimes do or say things and assume that everyone will understand them the way that he does, and that’s not always the case.

To be clear, I’m not saying he’s naive. He’s not. But sometimes he assumes that the things that are common sense to him are common sense to everyone else. Maybe to some people those blind spots of his are too much. That’s fine.

In the end, what matters to me is that he be someone that I can stand behind. I can have faith in. I can believe is a good human being. Even if he does make mistakes sometimes. And I believe that to be true. He’s not bigoted, he’s not racist, he’s not a bad person. He speaks his mind. He stands up for what’s right even when it gets him into trouble. He’s smart, he’s self-reflective, he’s kind. BUT he’s a human being. He’s flawed. He says things too quickly without considering the consequences sometimes, he gets caught up in situations and feelings. He’s not perfect. And that’s okay. To me it is anyway.

It’s possible to disagree with someone and still love and support them. As long as the thing we disagree on isn’t “should black people have rights?” “Are women inherently inferior to men?” “Do queer folks deserve human rights?” Then it’s perfectly okay for him to sometimes do or say things that I wouldn’t. I have no expectation of him to be like 1000% flawless every single moment or every single day. Nor do I expect him to be in complete agreement with me all the time.

To be clear, supporting him doesn’t mean making excuses for him or looking the other way when he does do something “wrong.” I have called him out on stuff before and I will continue to do so. I guess I just don’t think that the occasional mistake makes him a bad person. And maybe that’s not right. But I know I’ve made mistakes before. And if it weren’t for the kindness of others who took the time to show me that I was wrong and to teach me, I wouldn’t have learned to grow.

Maybe that’s not for everyone. That’s okay. There are other artists who strive for that kind of flawless image. Perhaps those are better suited for people who dislike Matty’s way of doing things.

Ultimately it’s really down to what you believe him to be and whether or not you think you can, in good faith, support him. So, above all else, I would say tune out what the world thinks for a bit and find out what YOU think. Everything else will fall into place after that.

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hockeylvr59 · 2 years

Text

Collide Part 3 || Sidney Crosby

Summary: Life as a single foster mom and a pediatrician didn’t leave much time for dating. But when Dr. Erin Lancaster becomes the pediatrician for Pittsburgh Penguins Defenseman Brian Dumoulin's baby boy, her association and quick friendship with his wife Kayla turns her crazy but quiet life upside down.

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: I am determined to finish this series and these two are finally making some progress. Let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see for them moving forward.

Warnings: Sexual tension? Word Count: 3,284

*******

After weeks of dealing with a slushy sleet mix over the city of Pittsburgh, I finally woke up to the start of a powder fresh snowfall covering the ground. It was clean and bright, and the sun’s reflections made the ground shimmer.

Just like the weather had turned, so had the gloom that started creeping into my life. And it was all because of Maisie.

That was the name of the little blue-eyed, curly blonde-haired girl who had cleared the clouds from around my heart and brought light and laughter back to my house.

After talking with Sidney at the Dumoulin's, the thought of stepping away as a foster parent had lingered in my mind for a day or two. Deep down I knew I couldn’t but it was so hard saying goodbyes over and over again. Knowing that this kind of pain was always waiting somewhere on the horizon. Then I had gotten a call about Maisie.

She was three and a half and had been living with her grandmother since shortly after her birth. But her grandma had been battling multiple sclerosis for the past few years and had finally reached the point where she just couldn’t handle taking care of the bubbly little girl all the time. On her good days, she could get by but on her bad days, it was just too much. With no other family to step in, she had made the difficult decision to seek alternative care arrangements. Maisie would still get to spend time with her grandmother, she would just be living with me. And the odds that she would end up leaving...well they seemed lower than what I was used to.

The first time I met her my heart just melted. She had been so reluctant to leave her grandma’s side and shy to say hello but once she had a few minutes to assess and observe, she had warmed up to me and begun chattering away. Foster kids, especially those who had been in the system for a while, generally had a hard time letting down their walls. They were often ill-tempered and didn’t trust easily. But with Maisie who had only known a loving home, once she warmed up she was loving and affectionate almost instantly.

In order to protect Maisie and ease her into things, we’d taken it slow. Starting with me just spending an evening with her and her grandma. Then we’d progressed into an overnight when her grandmother was having a bad day. It was almost Christmas by the time we had transitioned her to living with me while her grandma came to visit as opposed to the other way around. Over the course of a few weeks, Maisie had shared with me all of her favorite things. Her favorite color was purple, her favorite food was mac and cheese, her favorite animal was a cow, and her favorite holiday ever was Christmas.

Wanting to keep the little girl’s Christmas spirit alive, we did a number of fun holiday things. I had taken her to go meet Santa and we’d driven down to Oglebay to see the lights. We decorated my house with all of the lights and garlands and the tree that I hadn’t expected I’d put up this year while listening to Christmas music. When her grandma came to visit we baked cookies and drank hot chocolate and watched classic Christmas cartoons. Through it all, the smile on Maisie’s face was the real holiday magic.

And with snow falling outside, now just a few days from Christmas I was starting to finally feel whole again. I couldn’t linger watching the snow as long as I would like though because even on a Sunday, Maisie and I had somewhere to be.

~~~~

I’d lost track of time lately with my focus being on Maisie’s transition and was working through lunch to try and catch up on documentation paperwork before the weekend when my phone rang on my desk. Seeing ‘Kayla Dumoulin’ flash across the screen, I had closed the file I was working on and picked it up, asking her what was going on and how Brayden was with a smile on my face. She had quickly assured me that her seven-week-old baby boy was doing great and regaled me with his latest little quirk before changing topics.

“What are you and Maisie doing Sunday afternoon?” She’d questioned. I’d had to rack my brain trying to figure out if we had anything planned but there was nothing I could think of. “I don’t think we have anything going on.” I’d replied, reaching for my water bottle to take a generous drink.

“Good. Then you can come to PPG and skate with us.” Her declaration had made my heart race and I nearly spit my water across my office.

“Wait what?” I’d questioned.

“The team Christmas skate is Sunday. You’re bringing Maisie.” She’d stated, her voice bright and cheery. Pausing for a moment, I’d cleared my throat.

“I don’t think we’d be invited to that…”

“I just invited you.” Kayla declared, her tone becoming amused. “So you’re coming with Maisie. Noon. Sunday. PPG. I’ll text you directions on the easiest way to get into the parking garage.”

Before I’d had the chance to push back, she’d murmured hurriedly that Brayden was waking up and she had to go before hanging up.

~~~~ As I pulled away from the window looking out at the snow, my phone buzzed on the kitchen island. Checking it, I saw a message from Kayla providing directions into the player garage and reminding me that the skate started at noon and she would see us there.

Checking the clock, I knew that by the time I got Maisie’s backpack ready with snacks and drinks and got both of us ready after having breakfast that it would be time to get on the road to head to PPG. Moving to the bedroom Maisie had made her own with purple bedding and curtains and artwork taped to every surface, I gently woke her, accepting her good morning hug and laughing when she immediately asked if she could have pancakes for breakfast with snow on them. Maisie loved pancakes with snow, or powdered sugar, on them, and though it was not an everyday breakfast, we could make an exception this morning.

Breakfast finished, I sent Maisie to brush her teeth and hair while I cleaned up the kitchen and then moved to help her get dressed for the day. Though she wanted to wear a dress, we were going to an ice rink which required warmer clothes. She protested about how the clothes I picked weren’t girly enough, but eventually, she’d relented and got dressed before sitting to play while I got everything else ready to go.

In my own room, I’d thrown on the outfit I’d picked out last night: jeans, a green shirt, and a red cardigan, an outfit that was simple but Christmassy. Then I moved to pack Maisie’s bag and checked in with her grandma to see how she was feeling today. I frowned hearing that it was another rough day and reminded her that all she had to do was ask if there was anything that she needed.

With everything ready to go, I moved to get Maisie from her room, interrupting her playtime with a few dolls to get her in boots and a jacket. She repeatedly asked where we were going and I replied that it was a surprise not sure how she would feel about the day’s plans being that she was a somewhat shy little girl.

In the car, we played Christmas carols with Maisie singing along the whole way as best she could. Driving into downtown never failed to send a wave of emotions through me - marvel at how pretty the city I lived in was, but also annoyance and stress at navigating to the proper exit and down busy city streets.

Peeking into the backseat, I could see Maisie’s amazement at all of the big buildings around us from her wide eyes to her fingers gripping the windowsill tightly as she looked out.

Thankfully, Kayla’s directions had been really helpful and it wasn’t long before I was approaching a garage. There was a security guard there and upon pulling up I gave him my name before being let through.

Once in a spot, I texted Kayla that we were there and by the time I got Maisie out of her car seat and had her bag draped over my shoulder a familiar voice was calling me with a ‘hey Doc!’. Looking up I spotted Brian and let him pull me into a hug when he approached.

“You made it!” He greeted smiling his boyish smile.

“Don’t think your wife was going to give me much of a choice.” I quipped back, causing him to nod and laugh.

“And you must be Maisie.” He added, squatting down to the level of the three-year-old who was already trying to hide behind the leg of my jeans. ‘She’s a little shy.’ I mouthed to him before urging her that it was okay to say hi.

“You’re tall.” She whispered softly while taking him in. I could already see that she was going to be a little intimidated by the size of the hockey players she was going to be surrounded by today.

Brian just smiled however and shrugged saying the view was better from up there. Maisie looked at him with perplexed eyes before looking up at me.

“Would you like to see?” Brian asked and when Maisie nodded, he turned in front of her, still in a squat, and told her to hop on. After checking with me that it was okay, she climbed onto his shoulders and let out a soft ‘woah’ as he stood bringing her more than six feet into the air.

With Maisie settled, Brian led us through the halls, bending through doorways to avoid Maisie’s head until we reached the locker room. There was a bustle of activity in the room as he guided us to his stall where there was a few extra pairs of skates.

“Hey, doc!” A few of the guys greeted as they made their way out to the ice and I acknowledged them with a wave before watching as Brian spoke softly to Maisie explaining hockey skates to her and asking if she wanted to give them a try.

“That’s why we’re here,” I confirmed when she once again looked to me to check that it was okay. Carefully, Brian helped her get skates on her feet, tying them tightly before he moved to put on his own.

“You gonna join us doc?” He asked seeing that I was still standing in the middle of the room.

“Uh maybe later,” I replied. Focused on Maisie, Brian didn’t fight just motioned to the pair of skates beside him for me to at least take out to the bench.

“We ready?” He asked Maisie and after gathering her on his hip when she nodded, we headed down the tunnel and out to the ice. There, Kayla and a few of the other partners were standing on the bench watching as players and kids and staff all skated around the rink.

Beside Kayla was a car seat with a baby boy bundled up inside. Giving her a hug as she greeted me, I peeked inside and smiled seeing the baby sleeping despite the hustle and bustle around him. Looking back at the ice I saw that Maisie seemed a little nervous for Brian to put her down.

“He won’t let you fall,” I assured her softly. “But even if you do, it’s okay. Falling is normal.”

“I don’t want to,” Maisie murmured. Hoping that we were going to have a meltdown on our hands I tried to think of ways to soothe her.

“How about we skate just like this. I’ll hold you.” Brian suggested, chuckling softly when Maisie nodded slightly like that would be okay. With the two of them off, I settled down onto the bench just looking around. This was certainly a view.

~~~~~ Maisie skated with Brian for about twenty minutes before his arms clearly grew tired from holding her and he skated back over to the bench. Distracting Maisie with a snack, Brian disappeared back to the locker room to check on Kayla who had gone to go feed Brayden.

Maisie and I hadn’t been sitting there long before a broad body skated over, grabbing a bottle of water from the bench before looking up.

“Doctor Lancaster.” Sidney greeted, his voice a little breathless from playing with all the kids out there.

“Just Erin.” I reminded him. He nodded and swallowed another swig of water before looking back at me.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.” He stated. “And who is this?” He asked, his voice growing softer.

“Kayla can be insistent,” I replied. “This is Maisie.” Again the little blonde next to me played shy and tucked herself into my side. “Maisie this is Sid. He’s friends with Mr. Brian and Miss Kayla.”

“Have you done any skating Maisie?” Sid asked, leaning against the boards. She just gave a little shrug and I sighed shaking my head at her.

“She let Brian skate her around but I think she’s a little nervous to skate on her own.”

“And what about you Erin?” He asked looking down to see that my feet were still in my outdoor boots.

“She hasn’t skated,” Maisie stated softly, slowly warming up to Sid.

“Do you think she should?” He asked her, whispering conspiratorily. Maisie paused before nodding looking back and forth between us.

“How about we make a deal…” He suggested to Maisie. “You come skate with me, I promise you won’t fall, and then we can get Erin on the ice. What do you think?”

“Promise I won’t fall?” She asked quietly and when Sid nodded she agreed, letting him hoist her over the boards to the ice.

“Lace-em up.” He murmured to me as he carefully set Maisie down, holding onto her hands before talking her through skating on her own. At first, he did more gentle pulling to propel her but eventually, Maisie started moving her own feet, her lips pouted in concentration.

I was busy watching her when Kayla and Brian returned, the latter stepping onto the ice with a small bundle pressed against his shoulder just skating tiny circles close to the boards.

“Is Maisie with Sid?” Kayla asked curiously. “So she won’t skate with Brian but she’ll skate with Sid…oh he’ll get a kick out of that.” She laughed.

As Sid and Maisie skated past he looked over at me.

“Are your skates on yet?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow when my face showed that they weren’t. “Come on. If Miss Maisie can do it then so can you.” He prodded until Kayla joined along, pushing me to put the skates beside me onto my feet.

Maisie skated with Sid for another few minutes before he picked her up and carried her back to the bench, carefully setting her over the boards.

“You ready?” He asked turning to me.

“Go, I’ll watch Maisie.” Kayla insisted, gently shoving me to urge me up off the bench.

Meeting me at the gate, Sid held a hand out to help me onto the ice. My first step was wobbly but solid and I took a deep breath. It had been a long time since I’d been skating, hence why I hadn’t chosen to get on the ice.

“Relax,” Sidney murmured reaching to take my other hand. His grip was gentle but firm as he slowly glided backward, easing me forward step by step. As the feeling slowly came back to me, he loosened his grip a bit more and we slowly skated around the rink doing first one lap and then another before my skate blade caught in a divot in the ice unexpectedly and my balance tipped flying forward.

Immediately, an arm wrapped around my waist as I hit a firm chest and Sid’s voice reached my ears assuring me that I was okay. Looking up, Sid’s face was mere inches from mine and his warm brown eyes glinted with concern. Breathing rapidly, I watched as Sid’s eyes flicked down for a moment before meeting mine once more. My heart pounded feeling his body pressed up intimately against him and after a moment I pushed back just a hair before swallowing hard trying to find my voice.

“I feel like that was my signal to get off the ice.” I declared. “And I really should get Maisie home for a nap.”

Sid hummed for a minute before nodding and wordlessly pushing me over to the bench.

“Thanks.” I breathed, stomach doing somersaults. For a minute it looked like he was going to say something but then he just started skating backward, waving to Maisie and thanking her for skating with him.

I could feel Kayla’s stare as I quickly untied the skate laces and slipped back into my normal shoes.

Gathering up Maisie’s things from the bench I mentioned getting her home to Kayla and thanked her for inviting us. Wishing them a Merry Christmas, I guided Maisie back to the locker room to change shoes and gather up our coats before we headed back to the garage.

Even as we stepped back into the cold, my body still felt overheated and I tossed the bag into the car before stepping to help Maisie buckle up.

Licking my lips, the flash of Sid’s mouth, pink and inviting filled my brain and I mentally shook my head trying to stop my brain from going down that path. It didn’t matter that I was attracted to him, half of Pittsburgh and most of Canada were attracted to him, he was an attractive man after all. He’d only gotten out of a serious relationship a few months ago and he was only being polite.

As I shut Maisie’s door the sound of the garage door slamming echoed through the garage and as I opened my door rapid footsteps approached.

As I looked over my shoulder, the rapid footsteps slowed.

“Erin…Erin wait.” A voice called out, correction, Sidney’s voice called out.

Pausing, a million thoughts ran through my brain all at once before vanishing into an abyss.

By the time Sidney had reached me, his hands were in his pockets and an unreadable expression was settled on his face.

Neither of us spoke and then he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“Shit.” He mumbled. “I’m really not good at this.” His sandal-covered feet scuffed against the floor of the garage.

“I uh…would you maybe want to grab dinner with me sometime…or lunch even if you’d prefer that.” He questioned.

It took everything in me for my jaw to not hit the floor and I blinked a few times. Was he asking me out? It certainly sounded like he was asking me out.

“Are you asking me out?”

Sidney stared for a moment before nodding.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to.” He added quickly, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink.

“No…I…yes…dinner would be better,” I stated.

“Great!” Sid stated, a smile growing on his face. “I uh…you should get Maisie home for her nap, I’ll get your number from Kayla if that’s okay and give you a call?”

Nodding, I froze as Sidney took a step closer, his lips moving to press a quick kiss to my cheek.

“It was good to see you again Erin.” He whispered softly, his voice warm. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Sid.”

Outfit:

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