#And I think giving them something shitty to have done in the past especially goes against the message of the show's perspective on adoption

[anyoldfandom]

I am actually. I am so emotional over the Salazar parents and I need to share this to tumblr too.

A lot of stories where the MC is adopted I feel. Either dismiss the biological parents and the impact they have on the kid's life, or makes them evil and abusive, framing the loss of the bio parents as a good thing, or at least something we shouldn't think about just look at this new family.

But Genrex doesn't do that. From the start, Rex wanted to find out more about his parents - it's one of his primary character motivations, next to helping people. He loves them, even though he doesn't know them.

And the more he finds out about them, the more he realizes they loved him. Rylander is consumed by guilt but as Rex's first connection to his pre-Event life, the first thing he does is hug him. And when he tells Rex about his parents, the two things Rex knows is that 1) they were scientists, and 2) that when he was in danger, they were desperate enough to use their secret, experimental technology to save him. Technology built from their desire to help the world, to save countless lives and end countless suffering.

And then. When he finds out that they were dead, he doesn't stop caring. It'd be so easy, too, to tie it up there - his parents were good people, he got his answer about them, the end. But they don't. He doesn't. Because the show is saying once again that they are his parents. He still calls them mom and dad, even as the show makes it clear Holiday and Six adopted Rex as their son. Even as the show even parallels Six and One with Rex and Six (and I will talk about that more later if I don't forget, trust me), to really drive home how much they're family. Rex even says he considers the two of them family, and later that he considers Noah, Claire and Annie family.

He has new family, the show tells us, but his old family still matters to him. He's upset that he never has the chance to meet his parents, that everything he hears about them, about his time with them, is secondhand knowledge. It tells us clearly that not only does Rex still love them, but that he still wants to know them. And everything we find out about them reinforces the love that they had for each other.

We see Abuela and the family in Mexico, who connect him to his birth family and tell him that he was so loved back then, and still is now. We see their office in Abysus through Rex's eyes. The picture of him and his dad on his desk. The drawing Rex drew, proudly pinned to the wall.

We see it in the familiarity of the drawing. That that robot, that build, was what Rex created when he was lost and scared and alone - that it was made to keep him safe. That it first appeared in his mind in a place he felt safe.

The show says, tenderly and softly, that the love is still there. That the fact these people died was nothing but a tragedy, that their love is a big part of what made Rex who he is today - that every molecule in his body is filled with their final gift to him. That every time he cures someone, every time he uses a build, every time he makes a machine - we see the love that they had for him.

And the way he quietly absorbs his father's face. The way he freezes and whispers "Mamá?" when he finds out Zag-Rs has their mother's voice. The fact that she even has her voice as a testament to Caesar's love, too - that it was meant to bring comfort and safety. The way Rex yells at Caesar when he finds out they have a family property, a connection to their past, the way he fights to protect it.

And, none of this takes away still from Six and Holiday being Rex's family too. None of this removes the work either set of parents did for him, the love either set has - the show says that it was unfair that the Salazar parents were lost. That Six and Holiday are not replacements, that they still love him as parents but play different roles in his life. They can not, and have no desire to, replace the Salazars. But Rex needs parents, he needs protectors, and so they will do what they can for him - at first out of necessity, to keep this kid they barely know safe, but then out of love. They aren't replacing what was lost, but are doing their best to do what Rex's bio parents would do. And they do mess up in it - they mess up in ways Rex's bio parents might not have. Six is clearly bad with showing affection, affection we saw the Salazars give Rex so easily, and Holiday is overworked and stressed constantly, sometimes breaking under the pressure and snapping at Rex and Six, things we never saw the Salazars do.

It's just. It's about how sometimes things will not be the same. They will be different. That doesn't mean the people you lost aren't still with you.

#This is also. Why I dislike the 'Rex was secretly made for the nanite experiments the accident was a lie' theory so much #Bc it assigns malice where the show says over and over again there was only love. #That this was only ever a tragedy of good people whose good intentions were manipulated and twisted. #And I think giving them something shitty to have done in the past especially goes against the message of the show's perspective on adoption #The family we choose is not always stronger than the family we are born to. Sometimes they are equal in different ways. #Rex's bio parents are gone but not replaced. They have also shaped who he is #Six and Holiday are just picking up where they left off. Because they have to. #Also I don't like the theory that Rex's parents are EVOs somewhere bc I think it diminishes the impact of the tragedy too. #I get. Wanting them to have a happy ending. But I think it's important to realize that this is the closest they can have to a happy ending. #Some things cannot be replaced. Or fixed. Sometimes life takes what we love and what loves us. And that is okay. #It is okay to be upset at that and it is okay to never fully move on. #'What about Caesar?' I have. Another post's worth of thoughts about him. #But I think he's also a character who is defined more by Rex by their relation and defined by the story by his guilt #I think he is the closest thing Rex has to a shitty bio family member and he is shitty in plenty of ways #But he's also a parallel to Rex in a lot of ways. He fails where Rex succeeds bc of it. #generator rex #genrex #Anyways. Sorry for the big post.

[swordfright]

this might just be because i'm a bit older than your average mcyt fan, but it makes me kind of sad to see all these younger fans scramble to wipe their mcyt fanworks off the internet the second a content creator is revealed to have done something awful.

don't get it twisted, I'm a big believer in rescinding financial support to ccs you no longer agree with or admire by unsubscribing, deciding not to buy merch, or refusing to give them ad revenue by watching their content. if you don't feel comfortable giving someone money, don't give them your money. material support isn't what i'm talking about here - I'm talking about fanfic, fansongs, fanart. yknow, content that fans create for themselves and each other, stuff that's not for ccs.

in the past year (and especially the past week, obviously) i've seen tons of mcyt fans saying they're planning to delete their art (or that they already have deleted) because they don't want their work to be associated with content creators who behaved badly, and that they want "a fresh start." I've seen fan writers say the same thing about their fics. and like, this is fine, do what you want with your stuff, but i'll be honest...it does make me sad that so many younger fans seemingly have been made to feel such a high degree of responsibility for ccs that they're unable to enjoy fandom (a thing that is FOR US! FOR YOU!) or take any measure of pride in their past fanworks.

again, at the end of the day you should do what you want with your own shit. but what i will say is, if what you want to do with your work is delete it, at least think first about why you're considering the nuclear option. you aren't responsible for a cc's behavior, and that goes for literally anyone who's ever had a hand in making anything you like: books, movies, games, anything. you shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of having created fan content for a piece of media that a shitty person was involved in making. straight up, this kind of shame isn't something i believe should exist in fandom, because it's parasocial in the same way that positive emotions towards media/creators can be parasocial.

and also, as someone who's been involved in fandom for a long time, i can say with confidence that creators will keep disappointing you like this. there are shitty people out there. if you're searching for a piece of media with zero shitty people ever involved in the project, you will not find it. i'm not saying this to normalize shitty behavior on the part of creators, I'm saying this to emphasize that bearing the shame and guilt of every creator to this degree is not sustainable or healthy (and it's not how fandom used to operate, but that's a conversation for another day, perhaps.)

i understand why so many folks are considering deleting their fanworks, and if that's you...think about it before you do it. that's all i'm asking. you don't want to create a habit of divesting yourself of all evidence of having been passionate about art created by someone who sucks, because if you do get into that habit, then your chances of ever truly enjoying a fandom again are, unfortunately, pretty slim.

#mcyt #fandom #also deleting all your stuff is a nightmare for archivists but that's admittedly a selfish reason for asking ppl not to delete lmfao #....sigh #idk it just makes me sad to see so many kids panicking like this #long post

[tsams-confessions]

Monty is the worst character in the Security Breach Show world, or at the very least between SAMS, LAES, and MGAFS. And I mean that: I have never hated a character in ANY media more than I hate Monty.

Monty is rude, aggressive, greedy, and doesn’t give a fuck about the people around him. From the very beginning, when he was shown in SAMS, he was an asshole: they destroyed Sun and Moon’s mini daycare area after Sun hired them to take care of it, scammed Sun with their space business thing, and exploited Moon for his money. And you would think that during the Eclipse arc(s) that she would improve because people she interacts with are getting hurt, and their world could potentially get destroyed, and yes, she did do some good things and had been a big help for the celestial family, BUT none of those “acts of kindness” were truly long-term.

When Earth was introduced as a character — who, by the way, is the only damn reason I want Monty to stay alive and well because I know that Earth will be upset should something like that happen — Monty immediately pined on her, but in the worse way he could’ve: he set himself and Earth on dates when Earth had absolutely NO CLUE that the dates they were going on were romantic and deliberately lied about his past to keep Earth from finding out the terrible things he’d done. Actually, I hate Monty x Earth as a whole because Earth is much too good for someone like them. Monty is an absolute simp for her, and usually that can be cute and stuff, but he’s ONLY nice to her.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but Monty quite literally BEAT OLD FOXY SO HARD that his memories hit reset, to which he rebuilt him and essentially made current Foxy his best friend. But the minute Earth came into the picture and they started officially dating, Foxy was abandoned and is still consistently treated like garbage by the person who was deemed his greatest friend. I mean, in the episode where Monty gets her more feminine body, she goes to Foxy’s house to APOLOGIZE for being a shitty person to him, and what does he do the VERY NEXT EPISODE he’s with Foxy in? HE KNOCKS FOXY UNCONSCIOUS AND TURNS HIM INTO A FOX PLUSH TO GET BACK AT HIM FOR SOMETHING THAT WASN’T EVEN HIS FAULT.

Not to mention, Monty had straight up THREATENED both Solar and Ruin all because of her own rage against Stitchwraith. I understand she was going through a hard time, but NEVER has she taken responsibility for those outbursts nor has she even APOLOGIZED. In addition, she MURDERED a helpless version of Stitchwraith from another universe all because he was a Stitchwraith, and she didn’t get the information she wanted out of him EVEN THOUGH PUPPET EXPLICITLY TOLD HER NOT TO RESORT TO VIOLENCE.

The way he ignores people’s advice, well-beings, etc. for his own selfish reasons make me genuinely hate Monty as a person and as a character, especially because he’s supposed to be a “good guy” that has “improved” since the beginning of SAMS. I could honestly rant forever about how terrible Monty is, but then this would be far too long. I honestly hope to god that Earth eventually puts her foot down and corrects Monty about their behavior because that seems like it’ll be the only feasible way that Monty can truly improve since Earth’s the only one they listen to in some capacity

.

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood

[ghouljams]

hi hey hello here are some more of my headcanaons I remembered while going to bed yesterday. enjoy :)

•the changeling and Riley can under absolutely no circumstances be left with no supervision together. Riley is a good behaved dog, but if you leave him alone with the little monster you will come back to utter chaos of dog food, flour, and chocolate chips covering every surface of the kitchen.

• Angel is a very sensitive and emotional person. not in the way that she's a whimp or a crybaby (because she's strong and mature emoti9nally and doesn't let stupid things get to her) but in the way that she feels her emotions very strongly and has strong reactions to them. she will tear up if the kid gives her a drawing of their little family holding hands (even if you can barely tell what's happening in the drawing) she will be utterly overwhelmed with love and joy whenever Keegan successfully (attempts) cooks something for her. she will tear up from l9ve when she finds the monster lying on Keegans chest on the couch, both of them asleep and snoring softly as Railey watches over them. her emotions are just very big, and sometimes it's overwhelming and the only way they can manifest 8s through subtle tears.

• it's already established that Witch needs to keep a tight grip on her emotions in order for them to not mess with her magic, but I think she really wants to be able to feel them freely and just feel that catharsis of just letting all your emtions out. especially once her and Angel slowly start becoming friends and she sees how Angel feels and expresses her own emotions. She wants very deeply to be able to do the same without it having horrendous and u predictible consequences. Price sees this, he's good at reading her and he knows she wants to be able to feel like normal people do. he's trying to figure out is there's anything he could do to help her, but has had little luck so far

• Angel has a bad dating history. the people she dated in the past were assholes and some even cheaters, a lot of them lead her on and made her feel shitty about herself. which is why it's so overwhelming for her to have Keegan love her uncodionally and treasure every piece of her. it's why she had it hard to believe that all Keegan wanted for the baby was her love and their little family, and that he wouldn't turn around at a moments notice and make her pay by taking something else. Keegan is furious when he finds out about how shitty her exes treated her and scretly plots to make them suffer for it (the little monster wants to help because no one has the right to hurt their mummy)

• Angel is well educated, she went to collage and got her degree and now she has a good paying job that causes her mountainous amounts of stress. I kind of imagine her as a corporate girly, maybe an accountant for some big firm or a secretary. she deserves more than a shitty firm that doesn't care about her existence, and Keegan is trying to convince her to find somewhere better, somewhere that will treat her like she deserves to be treated, but she's hesitant, it's a good job that pays a lot and her hours are pretty flexible because most of the work can be done remotely, she doesn't want to let that go for a job that might keep her in the office all the time and force her to spend less time with Keegan and the kid

• Witches house is a mess. it's an organised mess and she always knows where everything is, but the first time Price tried to make himself tea it took him a good 30 minutes to find a a cup and the tea itself, he's slowly learning where everything is though

• the changeling goes through phases of food they are obssesed with and will refuse to eat anything else. currently it's chicken. they could eat it for every meal of every single day. also, raw carrots because they're crunchy and amazing under their growing sharp teeth (I love this kid and Keegan as a dad so fucking much you don't even understand)

•Witch is an absolutely exquisite cook (Keegan couldn't even dream of being half as good lol) the love and care she gives every meal makes it akin to ambrosia. Price swears if he wasn't already in love with her, the food she cooks for him would be enough to make him fall in love all on its own. there's just something about the warmth in his stomach after an amazing meal cooked by her that makes him want to give her the world twice over. makes him want to take care of her and absolutely ruin her at the same time. he will spend the night making her feel heavenly every time she cooks him dinner, no exceptions (unless of course she's really not feeling it)

I feel like most of my ideas are for Angel and her little magic family, mostly because Witch and Price are already such fleshed out characters, and their relationship dynamic is very well established so it's hard for me to come up with stuff that feels in charcter for them while with Angel and Keegan there's a lot more creative liberty so to say

I absolutely love your takes on Angel and Witch. Genuinely I think you helped my image of Angel solidify into who she is now. Ghoul thoughts under cut to keep this post manageable in length.

I agree I think Angel is a corporate girly as well, someone that decided they didn't have time to wait around for Mr. Right to have a baby. Which also means yeah a lot of bad relationships... Keegan is wearing her down for finding a new job. It helps that he stays home with the kiddo and seems to have a uncanny ability to get whatever the family needs.

The little monster(Ainsley. Get it? Like Ainsel, like the fairytale... ah I'm not clever) definitely has a penchant for chomping on anything that gives a good snap. I think they have a huge appetite for vegetables and anything fresh because of Keegan's ties to spring. Meat is all well and good but the kid needs greens. Probably has eaten a few flowers...

Witch and Angel are so interesting together because I also think of Angel as very in touch with her emotions. Which is shocking for Witch who has a death grip on everything just to keep from exploding random shit. She's working on it. It's hard to find places where Witch can just let go without hurting herself, but Price is looking into it.

And yes Witch's house is a nightmare. It's organized chaos, you won't find anything if you don't already know where to look. Price almost poisons himself the first time he tries to make tea. It's a mess in there, but it doesn't have to be clean when Witch can just magic ingredients over to herself. Her filing system is only understood by her, and that's just fine. No one else needs to know it, but Price is putting in effort to learn.

#x oc #cod x oc #1fae1 #oc: witch #oc: angel #oc: ainsely

[zalia]

Stop telling people we're dead...

I wasn't gonna say anything but I keep seeing it in fan spaces for various pieces of media after there's layoffs and it's driving me nuts. I may regret this since social media is where nuance and reading comprehension go to die but....

It's this sentiment people express that boils down to 'Well X person is gone so it's all terrible now/nothing good can be made again'.

The game industry especially fucking sucks right now for people who work in it (unless you're an executive for a big company :) ). It sucks for everyone laid off absolutely! I'm fucking angry and gutted on their behalf. The whole industry needs a massive overhaul. And unionisation. And for executives to be held accountable. This shit has destroyed lives.

It also sucks for everyone who is left behind after layoffs.

You know what makes it suck even worse? Seeing fans and the community of the thing you work on (and it's often something that you, the person working on it, care deeply about too) say that basically nothing you do matters. None of the hard work you put in over the past months or years counts or is any good, and nothing you make again can be any good. Often it comes with the addendum of 'this is because X person is gone'.

And X person is usually just the most publically visible person (and it is not in any way their fault! I'm so fucking angry on behalf of those people too! None of this is their fault). But dear god it fucking hurts to see people acting like everything you've done is worthless.

Trust me, the people left behind are just as, probably more, angry and upset than you. They've lost good coworkers, good teams, often good friends, and are having to pick up everything while worrying for their future job security. All while executives take home fat paycheques and often bonuses because they don't give a fuck as long as line goes up. Like, be angry, be pissed off at the executives and shareholders and fucking Bobby Kotick or whoever because they're garbage. But can we stop talking as though the people staying behind have never and will never again make anything that is good or enjoyable? That they never actually contributed anything to that thing you love?

Most games are not made by a single person. Most of them are a team effort, and losing any part of the team is awful. But it also means that everything you like and that is good about a game was a team effort. And a lot of the people who made the thing you like are still working hard to make the thing the best they can while they're angry and grieving and scared.

Acting like nothing they have done or will do matters or was part of the creativity that you loved just makes that harder. It fucking hurts.

Any script will usually have had multiple people working on it - writers yes, but also editors giving multiple rounds of feedback, people who make the script usable for recording. Someone who books the actors is not any less important than the actors themselves, or the sound editors. A soundtrack needs composers and musicians and sound engineers and they all contribute to the creative product.

I don't think anyone saying this is doing it maliciously, or really even believes it – it's a reaction to shitty circumstances and absolute garbage decisions by people who will always have too much money while doing very little, if any, creative work. It's people voicing their frustration, and I get it! I have said the same thing even when it was me, one of the people left behind, I was disparaging.

But god, every time I see it said my heart sinks, and it gets a bit harder to feel like anything I do is worthwhile.

And because social media is where nuance goes to die - no I'm not saying you have to keep loving/playing the thing! If it killed it for you, if it isn't giving you that spark of joy anymore, then stop! I encourage that! (There's a lot of people I can think of who could really stand to step away from things instead of playing until they burn out and can't distinguish between 'this is not bringing me joy anymore' and 'this is irredeemably bad'). But just... stop talking as if, for a piece of media made by a team, only certain members of that team actually count, and the rest are creatively bankrupt, were not part of the thing you loved, and are incapable of making anything good ever again.

#god I don't even know what to tag this as #meta #video games

[nicksbestie]

This might seem specific but could I please request one where the reader Is the opening act for the tour and she goes on tour with them but ends up falling in love with Ashton?

Thank you!!

<3

OPENING ACT

Pairing: ashton irwin xreader

word count: 897

-

You never thought it would come to this. Never in the world did you ever think that writing shitty songs in your notes app, never to be heard, would lead to opening for a world famous band. And being heavily in love with their drummer, who you thought didn’t reciprocate the feelings. 

The rest of the band was hiding smiles behind their hands. Ashton was sitting holding his head in his hands. They’d spent the entire afternoon teasing him about his choice for the opening act this tour. He’d fought tooth and nail to make sure the girl he wanted to open for them was chosen and signed. 

“She’s talented!”

“Ashton. Admit it! You think she’s cute.”

“She has a beautiful voice.”

“Were you even listening to it? You zoned out staring at the screen she was on.”

“Ugh! I give up.” 

The rest of them gloated. He wouldn’t admit it. But they all knew he had picked you for more than just a good voice and the ability to play an instrument, because every other option had the same things too, but they weren’t picked, were they? Case rested. Something was running through his mind and everyone knew it, including him.

Today was a huge day. You had done online Zoom and Skype meetings to set up everything, especially finding a new manager, but today was the day you were meeting the band in person. Tour starts in 2 weeks, and they were practicing rehearsals and wanted you to join them on one of the venue’s stages nearby so you could get a feel for performing on an actual stage instead of just inside your room in a house or studio. You were more concerned with the fact that you were meeting them in person than the practicing of it. You had two weeks to be completely ready for performance. You had two hours to be ready and try not to lose your shit in front of the band.

Well, you held your shit together for the most part. Key words being “the most part”. Your voice shook at the beginning and clammy palms were a classic staple of nerves and made sure to show their appearance, but you survived. And happened to notice that whenever you glanced around that Ashton quickly diverted his eyes. It was quite the evening. 

Two weeks flew by quickly. Tour had started, and it was nothing like you’d even imagined. It was so much better. You had recorded 10 of the songs you’d written in the past years, and put out an album. The band had retweeted and reposted all the posts about it, and people actually knew the songs! It was absolutely surreal having a crowd of thousands singing your songs back at you, smiling, crying, laughing, hugging other people. It was insane to see the light in people’s eyes and the fun they were having. It was also crazy to see that every show, instead of preparing for his own performance, Ashton was seated slightly off stage, a small smile on his face, watching the entire act. Every day you shot him a small smile back. 

The boys made fun of him for it of course, but he had long gotten past the stage of denying that he felt anything for you. He knew it was written all over his face. You knew it was written all over yours. But doing anything about it on tour? Absolutely not. It would be highly inappropriate wouldn’t it? The main act being in love with the opener. The media’s definition of a scandal. 

However, that being said, you were slightly surprised when you were finishing the final show of the tour, months later, and you were trying to walk off stage when two arms pulled you into an empty space behind the stage once you were out of sight.

“Ashton?” 

“No, it’s the tour manager. Of course it’s me.”

“Okay. In the nicest way, what the hell are you doing pulling me back here with no warning? I thought I was being kidnapped for a second!” 

He let out a small laugh, dimples showing.

“If I kiss you, will that stop your rambling and questions?”

“What?? If you- what?”

He shrugged.

“You look at me the same way I look at you. And I’ve been waiting six months to get off this damn tour so I could finally act on it. So, if I’ve severely mistaken, feel free to run away, yell, slap me across the face if you want. But if I’m not, then fucking kiss me already because I’ve barely been able to focus on my drums knowing you’re standing right off stage watching.”

If you hadn’t clenched your jaw earlier, it would be on the floor. 

“You’re not wrong.”

The smile returned. 

“So if I were to…”

He trailed off, both hands placing themselves on the sides of your face.

“...would that be okay?”

It was your turn to smile.

“Absolutely.”

He leaned in, the smile on his face til the second lips met in a searing kiss. Good thing there was a wall behind you and his hands had moved to the bottom of your back, or you might have fallen over. Lasting as long as humanly possible before oxygen was required again, you reluctantly pulled back. 

“So. Can I call you mine now?”

You laughed.

“Yes.”

#5sos #5sos x reader #5sos fic #5sos angst #5sos fluff #5sosfam #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin x reader #calum hood x reader #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford angst #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings angst #luke hemmings fluff #lgbtq authors

[mrsbsmooth]

Aww you’re all so sweet 🥺 I didn’t expect anyone to actually like that little Bobby thing! I’m really not a good writer (I never know when to use past and present tbh, especially in English bc it’s not my native language!) but thank you everyone!

And anybody is more than welcome to build onto it and create something actually good!

I didn’t really think much further than that tbh haha! I was just thinking, he would definitely flirt with her (in his cute clumsy Bobby way) and MC would definitely be into it. But MC is definitely guarded because of all the shit she’s been through, she doesn’t really trust it 100%. And who could blame her? And Bobby notices and just can’t help but give her a hug and, so that nobody hears him, whispers to her that she’s strong but she doesn’t have to deal with this shit if she doesn’t want to. Not for a tv show that only cares about her drama and her being miserable for views. Nobody, especially not her, should destroy their self worth and mental health for this stupid show. (Because let’s be honest.. they have it out for MC! Someone was so excited for Gabi to come in because that would hurt and cause drama. And being in a situation like that could so easily destroy someone! It’s been so cruel..)

And he would tell her that he would love to get to know her, trying to not sound too pushy and make her uncomfortable. But he can’t just leave without shooting his shot! And he joked that if he could, he would take her with him right now! (“Joke” sure Bobby..) And MC does flirt back so that has to mean something? But then the camera is fixed and he has to leave (it would be too suspicious to break another one… right?) and it breaks his heart to leave her there, with all these people who don’t really give a shit about her. But he leaves, with one last look and smile at her and then he’s gone.

And he’s sitting in his hotel room that night, beating himself up for not trying harder. She shouldn’t be in that villa with no one to care about her. With her life only being used for drama and views. It makes him sad to think of her all alone in there…

But he doesn’t know that MC is really thinking about leaving. It was always on her mind, since the first time she saw Suresh. But for some reason, she stayed.. but now? She might actually be finally done. And the production people could tell something was off and are trying to convince her to stay but why would she? She thought she could find love here again but after Bobby’s words to her.. she’s realising that they never wanted her in the Villa for that. They just wanted her hurt and the drama that would come from it. And god, it has been hurting. She constantly feels like breaking down, everything is just getting too much. And she doesn’t feel like she has an ally, an actual friend, in this damn Villa. Everyone always has an ulterior motive, she couldn’t trust any of them.

So why would she stay? Like Bobby said, why should she destroy herself for this? She doesn’t want to see any of the people here ever again after this is over. So why not end it early? She hasn’t been happy here anyway. It’s just been feeling miserable and uncomfortable the entire time she’s been here. So she’s going to leave. And production is trying to stop her, telling her to think it over but she’s packing her bags. Throwing her clothes into her suitcase, grabbing her toiletries and shoving everything that’s hers into her bags to leave this god damn villa. Even if she has to walk all the way to a hotel, she wasn’t going to stay here another night.

The others are shocked when she’s coming down the staircase with all her bags and production members running after her. They’re confused, trying to ask her what’s going on? Why would she leave, being here is an absolute dream?? (More like a nightmare for her)

And MC is so done with them. They’re (almost) all terrible people. So she goes off on them. Listing off all the shitty and terrible things they’ve done the last few weeks, giving them a nice little reality check bc god, they’re all assholes.

And then she grabs her bags and leaves and everyone is yelling after her, asking her to wait and to stop. But she’s done and she’s walking. Pulling her suitcase behind her and juggling her other bags, she’s walking down the road to get away from the villa. And it takes a bit until a car catches up to her, the Villa already a bit away in the distance. They drive her to the hotel, still trying to convince her to think about it and stay but that’s not gonna happen. She finally had the guts to leave, she’s never going back there. And it sounds so easy to say “just leave” but it really wasn’t. Being in the villa is like living in a bubble that’s impossible to escape, with people always manipulating you into staying.

And then she’s finally alone. For the first time in weeks it’s just her and the tears start and they don’t seem to ever stop. But it feels good to let it out, to just cry and sob into a pillow and to not worry about cameras and other people. And she falls asleep, tried and exhausted and feeling so worn down. But she’s out and she’s going to go home and continue with her normal life. It’s going to take some time to built up her confidence and self worth again and she definitely needs a therapist.. And the next morning she wakes up, tired and with red eyes, but her heart doesn’t feel heavy anymore. It’s been weighing her down the last few weeks, without her even realising it until now.

And after a nice long (private!) shower, she goes down for breakfast. And there, at a table in the corner, looking tired and a bit sad, she sees him. Bobby. Something about him gave her the strength to finally stand up for herself, his gentle but firm hug and the words he whispered against her ear. His kind eyes looking into hers and his cute freckled nose that scrunched up when he grinned down at her.

And so she goes over to him but he doesn’t look up, not even when she’s standing right in front of his table. So she clears her throat and his head shoots up to look at her. His eyes widen when he sees her, his jaw going a little slack. And the cool line she thoughts off while walking to his table gets stuck in her throat and all she can do is smile at him. It’s awkward for a second, he clearly didn’t think he would see her again like this. At breakfast the next morning! And to break the silence, MC says that she’s hoping he was serious when he said he would take her with him if he could because otherwise this is really awkward… and Bobby snaps out of it, and a smile grows on his face, he gets his confidence back and asks her to sit down for breakfast, so they can plan an entire day full of dates. So that he show her how she should’ve been treated by these stupid guys in the Villa. And they have an amazing day, ignoring their ringing phones of LI people freaking out about where they are and if MC is going back.

And obviously they’re gonna have to show MC leaving on TV and the fans are absolutely rooting for her and some people saw her and Bobby out that day and it’s everywhere online. And people love it! They’ve been wanting better for her and who would be better than Bobby McKenzie??? And they tell the LI people to fuck off, fly back together and continue dating. And everyone is rooting for them and loving them together and the press is going crazy because this has never happened before! And the Villa is still a mess because all the people in it suck. But MC and Bobby don’t care anymore. They’re getting to know each other and falling in love, slowly but surely..

The end! lmao

I’m so sorry this is so super long but then I couldn’t stop! If anyone wants to actually take this and turn it into an actual fic or one shot or whatever, please do! I would absolutely love to read it fully fleshed out, with great dialog and everything! And thanks again for being so sweet everyone 😭😭🥺

THEY REPLIED THEY REPLIED EVERYONE THEY REPLIED AND ITS EVEN BETTER THAN I IMAGINED AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHHH I LOVVE ITTTTTTT!!!!!!

#litg #love island the game #litg s2 #litg season 2

[georgespaniel]

this is me speaking frankly about my thoughts on all of this because i've been really struggling over the past 2 days because of the matty shit and it hurts. i will admit i feel conflicted over this which i hate and if you feel similar or want to tell me to shut the fuck up feel free but i think talking about it and getting out my system will help. this is rambly, incoherent, kinda personal and quite long so feel free to ignore but i just want it out there.

i think i am very parasocial with matty and that makes me want to excuse him far more than i should, and i'm willing to admit that is a flaw. i want to be in denial and tell myself that this is all just a big bit and he's not really like that but how the fuck am i supposed to know that? i keep telling myself that he is better than this and he doesn't actually believe any of this but realistically i know nothing about this man other than what he shows us, and what he showed on that podcast was really shitty. i can't keep excusing his shitty behaviour, before i just thought of him as a loveable asshole but he's turning more and more into just a straight up asshole.

i feel like people on both sides of this debate are being way too loud because it's a lot more nuanced than either 'he has committed every -ism under the sun and is a terrible bigot' or 'he's done nothing wrong lol you're just a fake fan that's his humour' and i hate that no one can just have a conversation about this. i've seen and spoken to a few people on anon about it and it's been much nicer so i appreciate this tumblr community for being so nice even though this blog has only existed for like a week lmao.

i have loved matty since 2015 and my love was really reignited back in November and it's made these past few months so good for me, i saw them live and made 15 year old me's dream come true and i think i was kinda waiting for it to all go to shit so i feel like i shouldn't be surprised but i still am.

it hurts that a man who has been so vocal about supporting women and condemning bigotry and toxic masculinity can't stop himself from participating in such unnecessary low blow humour for some cool points. like i don't really give a shit if it's satire and all a big bit, the words are still harmful and they still fucking hurt.

like it's so frustrating because in my head i want to believe he is better than this!!! he has been so vocal in the past and that goddamn brit award speech he made just doesn't seem like the same person who was in that interview. but once again how am i supposed to know that. maybe he's an absolute prick behind closed doors.

i don't feel like what was done was egregious but he was clearly happily complicit in it and thats what makes me so uncomfortable. it's such shitty punch down humour that is completely unnecessary, like yeah its a joke or whatever but its such a shit joke that is only funny because its something they know will never happen to them. even if the hosts are minorities themselves it doesn't give them the right to make such shitty racist remarks and especially for privileged white boy matty to be joining in with them.

i think its poe's law that goes something like 'if your attempt at satire is indistinguishable from the person you are mocking you are no better than them'. like even if he isn't a bigot he sure is fucking sounding like one and it pisses me off. and i have seen people who definitely are bigots laughing at this shit and feeling validated by it. if people who genuinely believe that shit are laughing and agreeing with you then you need to take a step back and reevaluate what you are saying.

he has no ability to understand when to shut his mouth and understand that his opinion isn't fucking needed. oh great yet another rich privileged white man's opinions, exactly what the world fucking needs.

i feel like he could maybe redeem himself is he showed even an ounce of self reflection and realisation that he has genuinely hurt people, if he actually apologised or fucking did anything to acknowledge the shitty stuff he has done, but he never does!!!! he never does because he can get away with it because people keep letting him get away with it.

and yet despite all that a small part of me still wants to love him and its been tearing me apart. i considered myself to have very strong morals and this goes against so many of them. i'm not sure if it's the parasocial attachment or the comfort he has brought me over the years but i really don't want to lose that, but that sacrifices my own morals to do that (am i being too sensitive, am i too morally black and white, is what i am feeling valid, am i a bad person for thinking this???)

i hate the fact that every time i try to listen to their music or i see the videos that used to make me feel so happy i just feel sick. i want to feel comforted and happy like i used to but now i just think about him and feel upset, i don't want him to be that person i so desperately don't but i don't know anymore and i don't know what to do.

i hate the fact that i can't form my own opinions and i am so influenced by what other people say, i am so desperate for someone to valdiate me but two people have told me it's okay and i still feel sick. i want someone to tell me how to feel about this but when they do i can't accept it. i love him and i hate him so much and those feelings can't get on with each other. it just really really fucking sucks.

#matty healy #the 1975

[barbiegirldream]

I've read the thread and as a Black person-

Holy shit, what the fuck is this thread even for? If people are spewing out slurs and harassing POC, call them the fuck out. None of the people who harass are like, some protected group who protects our Dreamie or our precious CCs, they're assholes through and fucking through. If people want this space to be antiblack free so bad, they're doing such a shit job by focusing on literally everything but the actual people causing the problem, holy shit- even with the users they screenshotted, they don't even call out those actual people- they call out the fucking collective-- the fandom. I wish there weren't people like the ones screenshotted in OP's thread, because they genuinely make this fandom a living hell sometimes with how they fucking act, even towards POC who are even slightly critical of CCs.

However. Every single fucking time I see people say "We're just trying to hold these CCs accountable! You can't keep speaking over POC voices!"

You're (not you, people like the OP) not holding anyone accountable for shit. You're cyberstalking bullshit does nothing to make this fandom feel any less "antiblack" than the people outside of the fandom who constantly harass POC in the fandom to change our mind and see the evil devil CCs on our shoulder. Do these people know how many I've seen other POC in this fandom get called "Race traitors" or COONS JUST for not blindly hating on someone (more often than not, Dream) for saying (insert racist/bigot shit here) from what, 2? 8 YEARS ago? And for people who so desperately want POC voices to stop being trampled over, they're so fucking ready to throw out slurs and unironic racism themselves to any other POC that doesn't agree in the exact same way they want them to, people need to understand that this shit is not as one way as they think.

Even if you're POC, surprise! You can also be capable of racism towards other POC!

It's even more fucked that some of the people they bring up as examples are ALSO POC who- guess what!

Have been known to be just as nasty to other POC as the people in those screenshots! Holy shit! Who'dve thought? /s

If there's one thing that I wish POC, especially the younger gen. coming up in the world, understood is that- racism isn't a concept that magically goes away when you aggressively beatdown everyone for every little thing that can be seen as a microaggression against POC. Yes, there are racists/bigots out there who will bury their feet so deep into the ground that they're practically buried in the hate they so desperately think is justified in every way, shape, or form. But not everyone is like that, and it's a bitter fucking pill to swallow, because sometimes- it feels so much easier to punch the person who calls you a slur, or give a verbal/physical beatdown to someone who tries to invalidate your existence, simply due to your skin. But racism isn't that point blank, it isn't just "Hey! You're (Insert race other than white here)! Therefore, you deserve no equal rights according to me! An actual human being (white)!".

Sometimes, it's in the little things, like when people see you wear an outfit and say it's ugly, only to see it on someone in a different skin color- just to say it's the most beautiful outfit in the world. Sometimes, it's when people look at all the things you own and say "Wow! You really made it for yourself here huh!" while giving off the subtext that they think you did something illegal just to get it.

Racism isn't just a point blank, cartoon-esque, mean girls style of hatred. It's shit that's embedded into us through the smallest actions, even if you think it's not as harmful as it sounds.

If people like Dream, or Phil, or Techno or Tommy-- or any CC in this fandom is going to "apologize" to us for shitty ass jokes, or for the Racism/Anti-Semitism/Islamophobia/Bigoted things said or done in the past, no matter how far back it goes- attacking and belittling every single thought/action/apology in order to show they've grown/change won't solve anything. If anything, it could sometimes lead people down the same road that they've tried to get off of from the past, and may cause them to completely shut themselves off from those same spaces that are actively trying to stir them away from that bigoted bullshit. Or sometimes, it could very well lead to the opposite happening, where we're coddled like newborns and treated with privilege that goes beyond just fighting for equality and acceptance in the world. I've seen both happen, and the matters of it are way too messy to just be given a simple "I'm sorry".

Acknowledgement of change or even past behaviors is the first step towards an actual apology. That doesn't mean these acts will just magically disappear and the world becomes a bright, sunny place where rainbows bloom everywhere-- if it were that easy, anything regarding hating race, religion, belief, etc. would just... Not exist, lol.

These things happened, we know they happened, we can be hurt that it happened, even if we don't agree that we should even after a few minutes of hard thinking, but nothing will change if we just keep looming these actions over their head and make them feel guilt for not having the knowledge of how this shit will affect us later on in life.

I hope this didn't lose the plot super hard on what I'm trying to say, but holy shit, I'm just sick and tired of seeing threads like this, knowing damn well that they won't change a thing, and will just make this worse all around.

Sorry for the wall of text in your inbox, this thread just got me heated 💀

you are so correct on just all of this.

#discourse #long post #i'm going to screenshot you and put you on twitter mwah

[khaleesiofalicante]

The finals are over, and I did proofread the paper! And I was pretty proud of how I did it. It was a very interesting paper about anti-colonialist movements. But now that I am free, here are the Lily updates. In list form, categories and everything 

Lillys chaotic dreams: I wanted to start with the completely what the fuck things first. So let me tell you about this dream I had in which there were demon fights, but somewhere in the middle of the dream was like a mini commercial break or some thing, and it was Shrek and regulus black on a date in a Burger King. It is a Pairing that has boggled my mind, but my friends think I should write fanfiction about it because it’s just so out there that it would be a just a chaos move.

Lillys love life: I have a girlfriend now. and she is lovely. But also chaotic gay moment, we’ve gone out to get cookies, and on the box she put happy first kiss day. And then we went to my parents house and spent the night over there, and I left the box downstairs with the writing facing out, thankfully my mom didn’t notice, and if she did she did not say anything, which leads me to believe she didn’t notice because my moms always saying something about some thing.  but I was still in a panic that whole rest of the day because I was going to be going on a plane with my mom for the next four hours, and I did not want to be confronted. I didn’t have a good enough excuses prepared yet.

Lily’s performance opportunities: I will be finally accomplishing my dream of performing at a diner. There’s a music festival happening in the city, and I applied to perform, and two places got back to me about performances. It’s going to be the first time I’ve done a live performance in about two years maybe and I am so excited. I’m still trying to make my Setlist, but it is slowly but surely coming together. If you ever have any recommendations, feel free to send them my way. I’m also trying to decide if I want any of my originals on the list, and if so do I want them to be fully finished, or just giving people a peek on the things that I’ve written to see if it even goes over well with others. I DK, I’m very insecure about my songwriting so I’m quite hesitant with sharing it with others, especially at a performance venue

The negatives: mental health has been honestly decline recently, I did start going to therapy which was pretty good, although it did unbury some past traumas that I quite forgot about which has not been quite fun to relive. I also lost one of my best friends of like nine years, we were growing apart, and it led to some really toxic situations, and we also just realize things about each other from the past that we’ve done to each other that were kind of fucked up. And I just think that we really brought out some of the worst qualities in each other as much as we helped each other grow, and that’s just a very hard thing to wrap your head around, that’s some thing could’ve been so special and precious and have helped you out of some difficult times, and yet has left you with so many scars and have not always been the healthiest situation to be in. I also had a family member going to the hospital which was quite terrifying because he’s been declining in health recently, and he was a family member that practically helped raise me, so I just end up becoming very worried win his health gets worse. Also, I was going to go study abroad in the Netherlands in the fall, and almost everything had been prepared, and then the school got back to me saying that they didn’t think that they could be accessible to my blindness which really sucked because I’ve been excited. But also, it’s one of the times where I was explicitly told that I could not do some thing that I’ve been dreaming of doing for a while simply because I was blind, and it’s a shitty fucking feeling because it’s not the first time, but it’s one of the most obvious. So yeah, I’ve really been trying to look at the really great things that have been happening in my life, but it’s been kind of difficult.

Lillys bad bitch behavior: I did a bike ride through all five New York City boroughs. That was like 45 miles at least, and it felt great.

Lily’s job: I’m going to be a diversity equity and inclusion intern at a bank, so that’s exciting. I’m very curious how much they are actually committed to the work because I worked in that field at my school this semester, and they are quite horrible at it, and so are most other places that claim that they are committed to diversity and inclusion in the workplace. But, I am hoping for the best, especially based on some of the stories they’ve told.

Things Dani should be proud of: I went on vacation, twice. Lily taking breaks? I know it sounds insane, but it happened. Like I mentioned, I started going to therapy. It started off at school counseling, but I’m looking into some stuff for the summer. We are working on self healing this year.

That’s probably not it, but that’s all I can think of. I hope that you have been taking care of yourself, and ILY!

PS: it’s almost my birthday, and as reparations for IALS, I think you should start thinking of a Mavid Royalty snippet… Just saying.

@noah-herondale-lightwood here you go in case I didn’t mention any of these updates in our messages.

CONGRATS ON FINISHING FINALS. I HOPE YOU ARE TREATING YOURSELF NOW.

Your dreams are truly something else.

Lovely to see you and your girl are going strong. Sending more love your way!

I'm so so excited about the live performance opportunities! Let me know how it goes, yeah? A song rec for you to consider: Love Letter by Anthony Lazaro & Sarah Kang. I think you will like it.

I'm sorry to hear about your mental health but I'm so proud of you for going to therapy and being so fucking self-aware about it. Therapy is never easy. Making yourself vulnerable and confronting your trauma is even worse. It takes so much courage and strength to do that. Keep holding onto that strength and courage. I'm wishing the best for you and hope more study-abroad opportunities come your way. Keep applying for more! Always.

BIKE RIDES IN NEW YORK? THAT'S BAD BITCH INDEED.

A gentle reminder that I don't need a list of things to be proud of you but thank you for sharing it anyway. I'm very proud indeed.

PS - Bold of you to assume I'm not always thinking of Mavid royalty au. Hope you had a beautiful and memorable birthday 💙

#lilypad

[butwhatifidothis]

🔥 One about your most favorite 3H character and one about your least favorite 3H character

this got a bit long lmao under the cut it goes

Fave: Claude

I've made one of my other unpopular opinions about him - that I don't give a shit about his rendition of the diary scene - pretty clear already, so I guess another unpopular opinion I have is that I also don't really give a shit about his S support?

Like, do I think it - or at least the context before it - could have been done better? Yeah, and I actually added a bit to my rewrite covering that after thinking about this very thing a bit (in the Misc. section, with the jist being that it's more foreshadowed in his route specifically that he's going to leave). But like, the most common complaint with it that I've personally seen is that he thrusts Byleth into a leadership position, but like... what else can realistically happen that would perfectly soothe both characters?

Cuz Rhea's dead, Dimitri's dead, Edelgard's dead - all leaders are dead, and since the game is stupid and doesn't allow side characters to be integral to the main story (meaning Felix, Ferdinand, and Seteth can't just take over these empty roles should they be alive) that leaves exactly two characters left on VW to be able to take on the role of leader of Fodlan: Claude or Byleth. Both of whom, mind, are someone people don't mind being the one to take over, so even with Byleth's inexperience with leading the people still have their faith in them.

And so if we go with the idea that Claude stays and leads Fodlan, Byleth just... does nothing? And just stay his side? Because if Byleth is unqualified to lead Fodlan then she'd be pretty much just as unqualified to lead the Church, so being archbishop is out. Does she stay by Claude's side long enough to pick up leadership skills? But how long would that take? Months, years? And what about Claude? It is specifically his ending with Byleth that shows that the Almyran throne can be taken in as little a time as a few months after he leaves Fodlan, so during that time Claude would most likely lose out on his dream of being able to lead Almyra - and depending on who takes the throne, that could be quite devastating.

So imo, it seems like it's either Byleth gets left in Fodlan to figure out the being the leader thing while Claude sets out to fight for the Almyran throne, or Claude (very likely, especially given the context of specifically Claude and Byleth's paired ending) gives up his dreams of being Almyra's king to stay by Byleth. Or, in a more cynical viewpoint, either Byleth can put on the big-boy pants and learn to lead or Claude falls into the "I'll give up my dreams for you <3" shitty trope.

That being said though their paired ending sucks major ass and I hate it. This is also something I ended up tweaking in the rewrite lmaooo but basically instead of Byleth becoming a useless damsel for Claude to swoop in and save her, having it to where they send correspondence to each other past the border lines (with Claude giving her advice she asks for, eventually growing into them giving mutual support in leadership) would make both a more unique ending and one where Byleth doesn't suddenly become incompetent in the literal one area of expertise they have.

Least fave: Balthus

I. Hate this guy so much lmao. Which might itself be an unpopular opinion, because at least recently I've seen a good bit of love - or at least positive vibes - for the guy. Fuck if I know why, this guy's a total asshole.

And while I have also gotten into this specific reason why I don't like Balthus before, I don't feel like digging for the fairly old post lmao so here it is again: I can't stand his supports with Claude and they account for a solid 70% of the reason at minimum as to why I can't stand him. It's already bad enough that he dangles extremely sensitive information about Claude over his head - which, mind, this is most likely to happen in pre-timeskip, when Claude is at max 18 and Balthis is at minimum 26 - and already it gets even worse when it's revealed that the reason this 26 year old grown ass man is threating someone nearly a decade younger than him is just because he wants to talk to said younger someone's mom who barely knows him, but the cherry on top is that this never gets resolved!

Balthus never takes back his blackmail, even by the end of the support chain - his saying that he Totally Wouldn't Sell Claude Out For Money He Swears is then literally immediately followed by him saying that he wouldn't do that because he "knows" that Claude won't go back on their "promise." That promise that Claude never made and makes clear he never made and that "promise" (read: blackmail) being "I won't rat you out if you let me meet your mom" meaning that Balthus never stepped back and thought "huh, wait a minute, maybe blackmailing someone with extremely sensitive information that could put them in danger is, like, kinda shitty of me to do actually" but no it's just a big haha funny joke don't take it serious guys Balthus is just a hoot n' holler.

It's ass, and I wish I could delete specifically Balthus from the game Doki Doki Literature Club style. Doesn't help that he's a gambling moocher which is a trait that already is kinda hard for me personally to like. I rank him Barely Above Makolov/10 for at least providing some neat bits of lore, if nothing else

#ask #anon #exqueuese me princess #ask meme #anti Balthus #anti-Balthus #For a a far shorter unpopular opinion for at least Claude: I think his marriage CG is ugly as fuck. one of the worst actually #somehow makes an absolute 20/10 into a fuckin' 2 #and yeah I fuckin' hate Balthus' supports with Claude they're just terrible

[space-and-galaxies]

So I’m kinda torn on Vol 2 actually.

(Long Post!)

So obviously I’m upset with how the Byler and El storylines turned out. All three of them deserve better honestly. But I’m still cautiously hopeful for Byler endgame, not as much as I was yesterday but it’s still there. And honestly I like El’s storyline in Vol 1 but when the thing that gave her strength was Mike’s speech is when it lost me. It had such good potential to be familial love with Hopper or even platonic love with Max but they wasted it.

Speaking of Max, also LOVED most of her arc, she definitely stole the show this season. But she’s in a coma now? I hate that. That’s just a shitty message to send, Duffer brothers.

This didn’t feel like the Eleven show the way season three did, because everyone had more of a part to play this time but I would’ve liked someone else to have the spotlight for once. Someone like Will.

AND OH MY GOD DID MY BOY GET DONE DIRTY THIS SEASON. Like what the fuck was that? He was used a prop for m*leven and Mike’s not even a good person in that ship! What was the point? The sad gay kid thing is done, Duffer Brothers, we’ve moved past that. I’ve actually lost a lot of respect for them.

And Mike, Mike, my son, my child, I’m so sorry they’ve done this to you. Literally took all of his progression in Vol1 and threw it out the window. Like he’s such a good character and the Duffer Brothers completely fucked him up! 

Here’s hoping season five does these characters right.

Also Eddie shouldn’t have died and Jancy needs to sort their shit out.

But the rest I liked. I loved Willel’s reunion and the Byers brothers talk, and the rest of the main characters were incredible. Lumax and Jopper were amazing and I am definitely a shipper of them once again (Hate Lumax’s ending though).

Lucas especially shined this season, I really loved his arc and it was very much overdue. Hopper got some great development as well.

Most of the character moments/interactions were very sweet and I found myself enjoying them very much. I feel like the Duffer’s are very hit or miss with this. They are very good at emotional stuff, I’ll give them that.

I’m excited to see where the story goes after the cliffhanger, I thought the whole upside-down-bleeding-into-Hawkins thing was done really well. As for the Vecna/Mindflayer thing kinda confused honestly, like I don’t know what exactly is happening there. I think I need more clarity before I decide how I feel about it. But overall I thought the story was done well, I had my problems with it ofc but I will be tuning in for season five.

Also the Byers/Hopper’s reunion was so sweet and I really need them to become a family already.

So yeah, I don’t know, I’m very mixed right now. Maybe as my emotions simmer I’ll decide how I feel. I guess we’ll just have to see. (But is it just me or does something seem off about this whole thing?) 

#stranger things 4 #stranger things #el hopper #max mayfield #will byers #mike wheeler

[rivetgoth]

do you think chris corner is mentally fucked up (not trying to be ableist here lol i'm disabled lmao) like the rest of the bandom does?? i've seen so much shit about kelli ali and debating who was right that someone needs to make a deep-fried meme with a person holding their head overwhelmed. i'd like to pick your brain about this even though i don't know much about her solo project

Uhh I don’t know what “mentally fucked up” means and your being anon-disabled doesn’t really give me any better indication here lol😭 I mean I think he very obviously struggles or has in the past struggled with mental health and in both his lyrics & interviews he’s been super candid about that so? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [EDIT A friend told me he’s mentioned on Patreon being autistic as well which is cool, I had sorta assumed given the title of one of his recent tracks but there is also that and good for him 🖤]

But idk man as much as I love both Sneaker Pimps and IAMX I don’t consider myself apart of any “bandoms” (hate that word) and I’ve never seen some vast majority of people who consider Chris fucked up, I follow goths and rivetheads idk, like I’ve seen the discussions on the SP band drama here and there but enough to say the whole rest of “the bandom” finds him fucked up? And as far as any drama or discourse goes I guess I just don’t care all that much about trying to pick sides or make perfect moral sense of a situation that happened between bandmates before I was even born lol. Especially when it seems like it amounted to poor handling of a situation rather than like, someone being traumatized and abused or w/e. Everyone involved was young (if my math’s correct Chris would have been like, my age, and he’s in his late 40s now…) and trying to make art and human to human the situation just seems like messy interpersonal stuff and I genuinely cannot express enough how much I don’t really care if Chris Corner was somehow “in the wrong” or “didn’t handle it super well” etc. Like I could sit here and list all of the not-very-tactful things every one of my favorite artists may or may not have done, the majority of which happened before I was in the womb, but unless it’s actually something that I feel warrants discussion due to the extremity or persistence of the shitty behavior (and there ARE artists I listen to that I would say like, do deserve frequent reminders of their behavior so people don’t start getting too cocky talking about how great they are LOL) I couldn’t possibly begin to really care all that much.

I think it’s like. Very annoying how “bandoms” or whatever try to treat musicians like fictional characters and “figure out” if they’re problematic or not, if they have mental illnesses or not or what labels they use or what’s going on in their heads exactly and the reasoning for doing what they do, like if an artist actually objectively does something that harms another person or is incredibly bigoted and expresses no remorse or anything then yeah of course that warrants discussion but I feel like that’s a far cry from trying to give in-depth diagnoses on the workings of interpersonal band drama from the 90s and decide from there if the people involved are forever fucked up people from then on. They’re all just some guys idk. I also simply do not know Chris Corner as a human interpersonally & the read I get from him in interviews and stuff is that he’s a pretty private person who’s not about to share his deepest darkest feelings and secrets for an interviewer or to the public in general. Ultimately from what I’ve read I find him kinda funny sometimes & there is stuff I tease about but ultimately I respect his overall beliefs and opinions when he expresses them and he is responsible for some of my absolute favorite art ever produced and I very strongly relate to a lot of it, I don’t think he comes across as a fucked up person though he certainly comes across as someone who has been very very fucked up before and is processing that through his art, aren’t we all? I would be genuinely disappointed if news were to come out that indicated he had genuine ill intent towards others. Also I trust cEvin Key’s taste in people overall and they are good friends and have been for years.

[ahtsumu]

long shots ; miya osamu

pairing: miya osamu x f!reader

synopsis: miya osamu is the teacher’s assistant for food chemistry i. you can’t stop thinking about him.

tag(s): college!au, slow burn, TA!miya osamu, grad student!reader, fluff, reader is a go-getter!! ; warning(s): profanity, suggestive themes, talk of insecurities and imposter syndrome ; wc: 5.6k

a/n: happy birthday to @starrysamu​! i love u. pls excuse any errors. i’ll weed them out later! btw this fic is not a sugar daddy au LOL

HIS NAME IS Miya Osamu and he always looks like he has it all figured out. Comes in every class with his black hair perfectly tousled, the sleeves of his dark button-up rolled to his elbows, a cup of coffee in one hand and the strap of that black messenger bag in another.

“He drives a BMW, did ya know?” Isla says in your ear one morning. Your only friend in Food Chemistry I gives you a pointed look before sitting back in her chair in the lecture hall with a smirk on her face. “Saw it this morning. Bet he’s loaded.” The two of you watch the subject in question walk across the classroom and settle in his seat at the table in the corner.

“Shut up,” you whisper with wide eyes. A grin–– far from innocent–– makes its way onto your face. “Imagine being Miya Osamu’s sugar baby.”

“He’s not old enough to be a sugar daddy.” Isla looks at her nails disinterestedly. “And that’s too many AUs in one. He’s already the TA, for god’s sake. This isn’t some shitty Wattpad novel.”

A light giggle slips out of your lips. “I can see the title already. My Sugar Daddy is the TA?!”

Now, if anyone had been listening in on your conversation, they would’ve assumed many things about you. The first being that you’re both gold-diggers. This is untrue–– at least, in your case. Isla, you’re not so sure about, given how your friendship only goes back about one month. But she tags you in memes on Instagram so maybe it’s as real as real gets. Their second assumption would be that you have a big fat crush on your TA. That one’s complicated, mostly because it’s true, but only kinda. It all started in the second week of school when Isla caught you staring at Osamu and slipped you a post-it note with both your initials encircled in a heart. And, because you’re shameless with a good sense of humour, you made a show of kissing it while she was looking. And thus began your meaningless but incredibly entertaining, satirical, co-written fantasy about Miya Osamu.

It also didn’t help that on the first essay you got back, Isla’s paper had been marked up with “are you sure?”s and “this is a jump”s, while yours had “excellent reasoning” and “insightful analysis”. You’d even gotten a little comment at the bottom: y/n, fantastic work. you should speak up in class more often. –– OM

But Miya Osamu doesn’t play favourites because the next week you’d gotten another essay back, this time with another comment at the bottom: y/n, not your best work. you could’ve done better by connecting your first paragraph with the second using grant’s reading. conclusion lacked punch, too. all the best. –– OM

Every time you’d read the words scrawled in blue ink, you’d felt a pair of eyes on you. But you chalk it up to Osamu being a careful grader. A good TA. Someone who cares about his students.

Isla calls bullshit on that. You’re not really sure how to feel about her stance.

The classroom door opens and shuts again. You don’t have to look at your phone to know that it’s nine on the dot. Instead, you and Isla straighten your backs, pull out your notebooks, and focus. Your no-nonsense professor says “good morning” in her usual perky manner before jumping right into her keynote presentation.

“Did you all find the reading okay?” Professor Lee asks an hour into the lecture.

A chorus of “yes”s fill the air. You bite your lip, wondering if revealing that you didn’t understand shit will out you as the class idiot. Or maybe your silence is telling enough–– maybe the people in the seats beside you have noticed the grimace on your face and are having thoughts like ‘gee whiz, am I glad I’m not dumb like her’. Heat rushes to your cheeks. Sometimes you really wonder if you’re smart enough to be here. Occurrences like these do nothing to dispel your insecurities.

You vaguely hear her ask something like, “Any thoughts about the reading?” It’s not that you’re actually dumb. It’s just that this class is ridiculously hard for an introductory course, even for a graduate programme. From the start of the semester til now, fifteen people have dropped the class. There’s just twenty of you left. Guess a ridiculously hot TA can’t save a course’s drop-rate.

Before you can make your mind up on what to say, your professor moves on from her question.

As you look off to the side of the room for a break from your thoughts, you find a pair of blue-grey eyes pointed in your direction.

Everything about you, from the expression on your face to the way your muscles tense, makes you look like a deer caught in headlights–– even though he was the one caught staring in the first place. So maybe your shamelessness works on a scale.

Miya Osamu lifts one corner of his mouth.

And as if the exchange hadn’t happened at all, he looks back down at his laptop and continues typing.

The rest of the lecture goes through one ear and out the other.

“Everyone, I believe Osamu has something he wants to say,” Professor Lee says as everyone begins packing their bags.

The raven-haired TA slides out of his seat and sits on top of his desk. “Yeah.” Osamu clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. You notice how the muscles in his arms bulge from the movement.

“Whipped,” Isla mutters, grinning mischievously.

“Him for me,” you whisper back, though your eyes do travel back to his face where they should’ve been all along. Osamu catches your gaze and holds it. And then he looks away again.

“Now, I know you’re all Nobel prizewinners in the making,” he begins, garnering a round of snickers and giggles from your classmates. Most people say that cliques dissolve in college. That there’s no such thing as popularity amongst graduate students. That much, you agree with. But no one ever said anything about popular teacher’s assistants. Especially smart, attractive, witty teacher’s assistants like Miya Osamu. “But in case you didn’t understand the reading or would like to develop a deeper understanding of it, don’t hesitate to email me. I’ll try to host a review session all of us can attend.”

Professor Lee smiles appreciatively at Osamu, adding, “That’s a wonderful idea, Osamu. Guys, please take this opportunity if you struggled with the reading. I know eighty pages is a lot, but our next three classes are structured around the concepts in the reading and the mid-term next week will almost exclusively be about it, too.”

Well, shit.

To: [email protected]

Hi Osamu,

I was wondering if I could get some help with the reading from last class. To be frank, I couldn’t make it past page 15 and I’m lost like a snot-faced five-year-old in a shopping mall on Black Friday. Sorry. Thanks in advance!

Regretfully,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: [email protected]

no problem. is 5 pm tomorrow at jack’s okay? we start on the concepts from the reading next class so i want to get you up to speed asap. let me know. thanks.

OM

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

It’s five minutes to five when you pull into the parking lot of Jack’s Diner. The shiny, retrofuturistic eatery is a university favourite but the empty parking lot tells you it’s completely deserted right now (and rightfully so–– who eats dinner before six?). The black BMW parked a few spots from your car, however, says that you’re not alone.

Osamu’s figure comes into view as you reach for the handle to the front door of Jack’s. The twenty-six-year-old sits by himself at one of the bright red tables in the back, typing away on his dark grey laptop.

His head lifts up at the sound of the opening door. Osamu calls out your name and waves you over.

“Hi,” you greet with a smile, sitting down across from him.

“Hey.”

You look around before leaning forward on the table. “Is anyone else coming?”

“No.” Osamu sits back in his seat. “I thought about hosting one big group, but then I realised that it’d probably be stressful for the staff here.” He nods his head in the direction of the kitchen. “And I had a hunch that everyone would have different questions. Forcing everyone to review concepts they already know is a waste of time.”

At first, you nod. That makes sense. But then you furrow your brows. “So how long have you been here?”

Osamu blinks. He hadn’t expected you to ask about him. “Hmm? Oh.” He taps his phone to check the time. “Just a while.”

Quirking a brow, you ask, “And how long is ‘a while’ to you?”

“Seven hours,” he admits, chuckling lightly when he sees your jaw drop. “A lot of people had questions. They just don’t act like they do. Anyway, time flies. Really, it does.” Quickly, he clears his throat and sits forward. “So, about your email.” He grins. “Not sure if you meant it to be funny, but it was.”

“I’m glad my distress was entertaining for you. Do you TA just to watch grad students suffer?”

“Perks of the job,” Osamu says. His grin widens when you giggle. He’s never heard you laugh before and he realises at that moment that it’s really nice. And then that same grin falters. Gracefully, of course, and imperceptibly to you. But not to him. Is it okay for him to be… thinking things like that? About a student? But you’re not really his student since he’s just the TA. Right? Osamu ignores the weird feeling that comes over him and clasps his hands together at the edge of his laptop. “Back to your email. Can ya tell me what you’re confused about?”

Three hours and two Impossible Burgers later, you suddenly understand everything about food molecules so well that you wonder why you’d even been confused in the first place. But besides that, you’ve also picked up things about Osamu. As a person and not an idea. Not that you’d been actively searching for fun facts about your TA. But they’d stuck to your brain like gum at the bottom of a desk. He likes to slip sarcastic quips into a conversation every now and then. Eats burgers upside down (“The right way,” as he’d said, smirking). Is friendlier than he looks.

“You’re really good at explaining things,” you comment as Osamu shuts his laptop closed.

“Well, I kinda have to be,” he says. And maybe it’s the mental fatigue catching up on him or the fact that he’s real fond of the reason why he can break big concepts down into morsels but suddenly, the rest of his thoughts spill out his mouth like wine. “I have a twin brother with potato salad for brains.”

“Oh?”

And before he can stop himself, he tells you about Miya Atsumu, the pro-athlete you’ve definitely heard of but never gave too much thought. And then you hold onto the fact that they were both on the volleyball team and you ask of which school, so then he tells you about Inarizaki, the high school he attended, and then his decision not to go pro to go to college, and then––

“Sorry,” he laughs, cheeks turning pink. “You probably didn’t need to hear all that.”

“No, it’s fine,” you say–– and you mean it. “Your life is interesting.”

Osamu leans back in his chair. “Well, I’m sure yours is, too.” He holds your gaze like it’s the key to your presence. It’s an invitation. The kind that comes from people who don’t really know if they want you around but also don’t want you gone.

You take it.

Osamu shouldn’t–– he really shouldn’t–– but he wonders about the things you didn’t tell him the entire drive home.

Isla laughs when you tell her about what happened at Jack’s. You lay in bed with your phone next to you on speaker, your face turned on your pillow so that you’re staring out the window at the city below.

“He wants you,” she sings.

“Or he was just being nice.”

“Methinks not!” Isla giggles. “He’s intrigued, girl! You’re like that cute little new mystery in his life and he just wants to get to know you.”

“I think he was just being polite.”

“Or he’s crushing on you!”

“In your dreams.”

“You mean yours? Boo, you’re no fun today. Usually, you go along with the jokes.” Isla’s tone is playful on the surface but full of implications.

A few silent seconds pass. Yeah, you think, agreeing. I do.

“Girl,” Isla drags out the word in a high pitch, saying it like a scientist says ‘eureka’. “You’re not playing along anymore because it’s real now. You're actually catching feelings!”

“Am not!” you laugh.

“The Y/N I knew would’ve said ‘nah, bitch, he’s catching feelings’ and I think that says all there is to say.”

“Okay, I think he’s cute but it’s not a crush,” you concede, grinning. “And he’s the TA, Isles. It’d never happen.”

“Not while he’s still a TA in a class you take.”

“Isla.”

“Ask him out once this semester ends! Unless you’re chicken.”

“I’m not asking him out.”

“Knew you were––”

“Have you seen me? He’s asking me out.”

Miya Osamu walks through the door at eight-fifty as usual that next morning, dressed in his usual button-up, holding his usual cup of coffee. But this time, as the rest of his tall frame passes through the doorway, Osamu’s eyes subtly scan the faces in the lecture hall, lingering for just a while over yours. The corners of your lips turn up. You hope he saw that.

“Bitch!” Isla whisper-screams. The students sitting around you turn around at the noise and grin at each other when they realise it’s just Isla being… well, Isla. She shoos them away jokingly.

“What?” you whisper back.

“Care to explain why our TA was literally eye-fucking you?”

“That was hardly eye-fucking,” you retort. “Maybe like an eye-handshake.”

“Yeah, a naked eye-handshake where his thang is handshaking your––”

He does it again the next class.

And the next.

And then he doesn’t. Miya Osamu walks through the door to Food Chemistry I at eight-fifty in the morning in a navy blue button-up with a cup of coffee in his hand and looks through the rows of seats in the lecture hall for your face, only to find it missing.

He debates pressing the matter.

To: [email protected]

hey osamu,

i wasn’t in class today because i’ve been sick with the flu (no big deal, just feel like i’m dying). a classmate sent me pictures of the slides from today so i think i should be fine, but is it okay if i email you with any questions? thank you very much!

miserably,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: [email protected]

y/n,

of course. sorry to hear that you’re sick. let me know if i can do anything to help you. the midterm is next week. get well soon.

OM

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

“You writing that the midterm is next week did not offer me any peace of mind, by the way,” you say, spinning around in your chair as Miya Osamu enters your pod in the library.

He offers you a wry grin. “Hello to ya, too.”

“Was that an accent?” You thought you’d heard one at Jack’s, but you couldn’t be sure because it’d been so spotty.

Osamu slips into the seat beside yours and pulls out the laptop in his messenger bag. You catch a whiff of his cologne–– something spicy and woody, but clean. It suits him. “Nice catch. Yeah, I speak a regional dialect. Took me a while to smooth it over but it still resurfaces every now and then.”

“Why?”

“It just didn’t seem fitting for a PhD candidate, I guess,” Osamu explains, opening the slides from the class you missed. A day after your initial exchange, you’d emailed him again (with a much clearer mind) and asked if he could go over the slides with you in person.

i literally feel like i’ve been given the homework from russian lit, you’d written. except the russian has been translated to hieroglyphs and my task is to choreograph an interpretive dance based on the hieroglyphs.

Osamu had snickered when he saw your email. that doesn’t even make sense. must be the fever talking, he’d been tempted to write. But that strange feeling had come over him again, the one that’d screamed at him to keep it professional, goddamnit, so he’d played it safe instead and sent is eight pm at the main library okay? He hates that you’re getting a watered-down version of his personality. Osamu swears he’s a lot more interesting when he’s not, well, a TA.

“I think it’s fine,” you say, smiling. “I like it. It’s you.” And suddenly, you’re wondering if it’s okay to be complimenting your TA. If it’s okay to say that you like things about him, or if that crosses some grey, unclear line. Is it weird to treat your TAs like they’re your friends? It’s not like TAs are real teachers. Right?

A grin–– wide and genuine and almost excited–– grows on Osamu’s face. He rubs the back of his neck as his eyes flit over to the laptop screen. “Thanks. Really.”

You nod. But you feel like there’s more that he might want to say, so you wait.

“I got a lot of shit for it when I came here for my master’s, y’know. Not to my face, of course, but people would refer to me as ‘the guy with the accent’. A professor once said it made me seem crass. Said it’d hold me back in my career.”

“So you changed.”

“Adapted,” Osamu corrects. “It’s hard to admit but conforming is sometimes all you can do when you don’t have the power to change the system. Can’t really make everyone suddenly respect a dialect.”

“And after you’re finished with your PhD, you’ll go back to speaking in that dialect?”

Osamu looks out the window and smiles, probably imagining the plans he’s already made about the future. “Yeah.”

“What if you have to speak the standard language at your job? Like, your boss is all, ‘hey man, if you don’t speak––”’

“I’ll be the boss.”

“Oh?”

And with a little more prodding, Miya Osamu tells you about the restaurant chain he plans on opening after graduation, the slides about food additives left completely untouched.

The librarian knocks on your pod a few minutes before eleven to tell you they’re closing.

“Shit,” Osamu murmurs, running his hands through his hair. You’re still laughing about something he’d said before the librarian interrupted him–– one of his stories from high school–– and he thinks that you’ve completely forgotten that the reason you came to the library was to catch up on the material you were already behind on. And now you’re behind on that. But you look so carefree right now and, actually, you’re very pretty and you’ve got such a good heart and it’s a lot for him to process but he knows he just wants to see you happy a while longer. So Osamu just slumps back in his chair and laughs along with you.

He says your name as his chuckles grow softer. “It’s pretty late. How’re you getting home?”

“I’ve a bike,” you reply. It’s good for the environment and is a pretty solid form of exercise if you do say so yourself. Sometimes you just don’t feel like driving. 

Osamu presses his lips in a thin line. Would it be too much to offer you a ride? “I can drive you home. It’s really not safe for you to be alone outside, especially near midnight. You can get your bike tomorrow. Or I’ll get it for you.”

He drives fast. Not the unsafe fast that speed demons drive at, but the kind of fast where you know he’s got some edge to his character. You bring it up to him–– especially since it’s nighttime, for god’s sake, he could hit something–– and all he does is remind you how there are lamps as bright as the sun lining the entire road to your dorm. And the fact that you live in the least accessible dorm on campus.

“A twenty-minute drive?” he’d exclaimed when he saw the GPS monitor.

“A bunch of roads are closed for construction. It’s a ten-minute bike-ride because I can cut through campus.” And suddenly feeling a little burdensome, you’d added, “Sorry. I can still bike––”

“No.” He’d held his hand out in front of you, gesturing for you to stay in the passenger’s seat. “It’s not a bother at all.” Because it wasn’t. Osamu was… happy. Not that he’d admit that.

“So this BMW,” you start in a teasing tone.

Osamu smirks. “A gift.”

“Can I guess from who?”

“Sure.”

“Atsumu.”

His brows rise. “Colour me impressed.” He hadn’t expected you to remember anything he’d said about Atsumu. Or maybe he had but told himself otherwise to lower his hopes.

“I’m smart like that.”

He snorts. “Not if you keep distracting me and using your review time to…” hang out with me, get to know me, tell me things about you… “…goof off.”

You grimace. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

Osamu makes a turn down a familiar street. It dawns upon you that you're ten minutes away from your dorm and suddenly you wish he’d just make the wrong turn at the next intersection so that you could talk to him some more. It can even be about the health benefits of fish or the molecular makeup of kale–– you don’t mind. You just want to be around him longer.

“I think you’re really smart,” Osamu says quietly. “I think you’re not processing the readings because you’re distracted, or just not fully applying yourself. Obviously, last class’s slides are a different thing, since you were absent. But you really are smart. I’ve seen your papers.”

You bite your lip to hide your grin, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “Thank you.” You look out the window, too jacked on dopamine to think straight. “I think I still need you, though.”

And that innocuous little sentence floats right out your mouth into the air, settling between you like a little wedge before either of you even realise it. Neither of you says anything. You marinate in the awkwardness before stuttering out a clarification. “To, um, to explain things. Y’know, since you’re, uh, so good at… explaining things.”

Osamu clears his throat and chuckles stiffly. There’s a slightly pink tinge to his cheeks. “Thanks,” he says, looking straight ahead. He can’t even look at you. Fuck. It’s so awkward. “I’ll try to keep… explaining things.” Fuck. What does that even mean?

A few uncomfortable minutes pass in silence. The night can’t end like this, you think. It can’t when everything else had gone so well. You still have to see him for a few more months. “Did you know,” you start, catching Osamu’s attention, “that Jack’s Diner has a location in Italy?”

“Oh?” he asks, making the final turn to the street where your dorm is. He actually hadn’t.

“Yeah. I asked the owner about the chain a while back. Have you ever been to Italy?”

Osamu shakes his head. “I’ve been to Paris, though. To see a friend. He’s a chocolatier.”

Now, if Osamu had been your friend, you would’ve said something like well, let’s go to Italy together, except he’s not. He’s your TA and you’ve been reminded that enough tonight. So instead, you say, “When you open that restaurant of yours in Italy, let me know.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” he laughs. He appreciates how you said ‘when’, though. And he tucks that little bit of confidence you have in him somewhere deep in his mind so that it doesn’t get lost.

“Isn’t that just seven hours?” you shrug, grinning. Osamu’s BMW pulls up outside your dorm and parks as he marvels at what you just said. You’re amazing. You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face your driver.

“Thank you for driving me,” you say, offering him a smile.

“Yeah,” he replies.

You stretch out your hand. With a puzzled look on his face, Osamu grabs it and shakes it. Firmly. You can’t help but notice how nice his hands are. Calloused for sure, but they feel nice.

“Goodnight, Osamu.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches you jog into the building before driving away. And it’s like you’ve possessed his car or something because the smell of your shampoo and perfume is everywhere and it’s too much but it’s also not enough at the same time and he can feel your palm against his as he spins the steering wheel to make a turn and for the first time in his life he doesn’t turn on the radio to fill the silence in his car. Osamu replays everything you said in his head.

But he especially thinks about that part where you said you need him.

Weeks melt into months. You turn in essays after essays for Food Chemistry I, each coming back with detailed commentary in an all-too-familiar blue scrawl. All your other classes go well–– extremely well, actually. You might just end the semester with a 4.0 if Food Chem doesn’t fuck you over. Isla still tags you in memes on Instagram. You still tell her about everything that happens with Osamu.

Speaking of.

“That’s the wrong equation,” he says behind your ear as he settles in the seat beside you. The sound of his low voice so close to your ear sends a small shiver down your spine. “You gotta switch the hydrogens.” Osamu knocks on your skull lightly. “What’s goin’ on up in there? Ya got somethin’ on your mind?”

You laugh and elbow him in the side. “Shut up, ‘Samu.” He’d told you during one of his office hours that he’d gone by that nickname because he had a teammate with a foreign name in high school. It sounded so cool, he’d said, grinning.

I think Osamu sounds pretty cool already, you’d teased.

And he’d replied, Let’s trade. I like yours, you like mine, why not share?

You teeter on the line between friends and less-than-friends and, oddly enough, more-than-friends. Sometimes you still play it safe. Sometimes he pauses between texts and real-time conversations, no doubt to scrap an instinctive reply for something more “professional”. Sometimes you say things that make him look at you with the ghost of a smile at the corners of his lips. Sometimes he calls Atsumu to scream about you.

“S’not a no,” Osamu points out. He’s dressed in a black sweater and grey trousers today. You’re suddenly reminded of how the weather’s been getting colder when someone opens the door to the university café and lets in a gust of chilly autumn air.

“Okay,” you admit, setting down the pencil. “I just… don’t really feel prepared for this next test.”

Osamu frowns and looks down at your worksheet. “Your process is correct, though.”

“Right, but… I don’t know. I’ve just not been feeling great about myself lately,” you laugh, looking down at your feet. “Food Chem’s the toughest class I’ve ever taken. And remember how I completely embarrassed myself in that class discussion last week? It’s not really making me feel like I belong here.”

“Imposter syndrome,” Osamu remarks.

“Correct-o.”

He says your name softly and puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Maybe you’re not the smartest, but you’re definitely smart. And you belong here. I’ve seen your papers. They’re just as great as anyone else’s and I don’t hand out compliments for nothin’. You’re gonna do some great things but ya can’t improve if you ever give up.” Osamu searches your eyes for a sign of your understanding.

There’re a lot of things you want to say but you don’t know how to put them into words. “Can I hug you?” you finally ask.

Osamu doesn’t even think about it. “Of course.”

He feels you smile against his chest and wonders if you can feel his heart beat faster.

Isla camps out in your dorm as finals come around the corner.

“I don’t understand shit!” she wails, throwing her notebook into the air.

“Isles, it’s okay,” you laugh, slipping out of your chair and walking over to her nest in the corner. “You gotta chill, dude.”

“Not fair! I didn’t have a hunk holding my hand through this course all semester,” she retorts, humour glittering in her dark eyes. “I had the Organic Chemistry Tutor and his accent’s cute enough but, girl, you had Miya Fucking Osamu!”

“You’re literally the worst.” You giggle and sit down beside her. “Tell me what you’re confused about. I’ll try to explain it to you.” The way Osamu does.

You text him that you’d channelled his brains later that night.

His reply comes seconds later. all you, einstein.

From: osamu

good luck on the exam

you’re going to kill it

To: osamu

would u like to divulge any… information about it? 😏 😏 😏

From: osamu

bye

To: osamu

i was kidding :(

From: osamu

fine. tip #1: write your name

To: osamu

not very helpful. 0/10

From: osamu

keep running your mouth and 0/10 is what your score’s going to be

i’m kidding

you got this, y/n

“Holy fuck,” Isla groans as you cross the street to head to lunch at Jack’s. “If you don’t see me next semester it’s because I’ve gotten my grade back and decided to drop out.”

“What would you do?” you ask, amused.

“Maybe move to New Zealand. Raise some sheep. Marry a hot, blond shepherd and fuck off to a cliffside cottage.”

“Solid plan.”

“What about you?” she asks.

“What about me?”

“Remember that conversation we had at the start of the year? About your man?” The two of you reach another red light for pedestrians.

“We’re friends. He’s not my man,” you laugh. Though it pains you to. Something about being Miya Osamu’s friend doesn’t really sit right with you, but you don’t know how to not be his friend. You don’t know how to move out of the corner you’ve backed yourself into.

“But you wish he were! And now you can finally hit him with that ‘Hey, Osamu, I’ve been madly in love with you since the start of the semester, wanna fuck like rabbits and then open that store in Italy?’ and he’ll be all––”

A throat clears behind you. With wide eyes, the two of you turn around.

Holy fuck.

Miya Osamu stands behind you with his hands in his pockets and an enormous smirk on his face.

“He’ll be all what?” he asks, eyes fixed on you.

Isla murmurs an excuse and starts walking on her own to Jack’s.

“Um.” You swallow nervously and shrink in your coat. “You heard all of that, right?”

“Yep.” Osamu grins. He grins. He’s grinning. He’s smiling like he’s won the fucking lottery and you honestly don’t know what to do with that information.

“So, like,” you look down at the sidewalk and kick at a pebble, “what are your thoughts about that?” God, you could die. “‘Cause I know you’re a TA and it’d probably look pretty bad and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you because I like you and it’s cool if we just…”

Osamu interrupts you with a laugh. “My thoughts,” he says, “are that I want to kiss you.” His fingers lift your chin up. “What are your thoughts about that?”

Well, shit. “I think that’s pretty cool, yeah,” you breathe, eyelids fluttering shut as his face comes closer to yours.

He tastes like mint. And his lips move softly, slowly against yours like he’s savouring the moment. And then you feel his hands snake around your waist to pull you closer–– closer because you both are tired of forcing the distance between bodies that want to be near each other, closer because he’s thought about kissing you just like this for so long, closer because you remember the last time he’d touched you was three days ago and it was just a brush of his fingers against your arm and that feeling of wanting more haunted you for the entire night. But holy shit, Miya Osamu is kissing you. He’s kissing you.

And then he pulls away. His dark eyes flit over yours. “I,” he breathes, “I need your course load next semester.”

“What?” you ask, disbelief written all over your features, chest rising and falling as you try to steady your breathing. You just kissed, for God's sake, and he's––

“I need to know which courses not to apply to TA for,” he grins, cupping your face in his hands. “Can’t be teachin’ in a class with my girlfriend as a student.”

“So we’re official?” you ask, beaming.

“If you want,” Osamu replies with a smirk.

You grab the front of his coat and tug him down for another kiss. “Hell yeah, I want to be official.”

#miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu scenarios #miya osamu imagines

[dodo-begone]

You a Pig Fucker?

Pairing: Yandere!Techno x Reader

Request: Hey I love your writing especially the yandere ones I was wondering if you could some yandere technoblade headcannons

Word Count: 2.1k words

Warning: yandere, unhealthy behaviors, Death, Zombies, Mentions of war, mentions of scars

A/n: sorry I made this into a fic but in bullet format. Hope you still enjoy!

Your first encounter with him is on the outskirts of your village. You’re collecting some flowers to make flower crowns for the children. And there he is; a gigantic… something standing on the path to your village. It was half pig, but half man all at the same time. It perplexed you. A thing like him hadn’t appeared at the village before, so he was a new experience to you. As the ever curious person you are, you go and investigate you. After talking to him for a bit, he tells you he’s there for some trading, you lead him to the village as you chit chat. You’re the first one to trust him.

He eventually just comes because he wants to visit you. For someone so naive and bubbly, you’re a refreshing presence from the chaos of the Dream smp. You wouldn’t survive a day outside your village, but he wished so badly to take you on an adventure to show you the world. Not the Dream smp, but the world outside your village. The safe part of the world.

He eventually just comes because he wants to visit you. For someone so naive and bubbly, you’re a refreshing presence from the chaos of the Dream smp. You wouldn’t survive a day outside your village, but he wished so badly to take you on an adventure to show you the world. Not the Dream smp, but the world outside your village. The safe part of the world.

He eventually just comes because he wants to visit you. For someone so naive and bubbly, you’re a refreshing presence from the chaos of the Dream smp. You wouldn’t survive a day outside your village, but he wished so badly to take you on an adventure to show you the world. Not the Dream smp, but the world outside your village. The safe part of the world.

Soon he’s called back to the Dream smp by an ally for some stupid fight that they could’ve done on their own. It was a quick task, why was Techno needed again? Though them being on his front door and trying to drag him away made him relent. And so he, begrudgingly, went to the Dream smp to destroy whatever government or enemy who dared offend or go against his friend/ally. He left without ever saying goodbye to you.

Without knowing what happened to Techno, you waited outside the village in your little flowerfield, waiting for Carl and Techno to make their way down the path to you. But they never come. At the beginning of your little “stake out”, the village children wait with you. Playing with each other and making little flower crowns with you while you scanned the horizon every other moment for your friends. Days passed like this, and about a week in, most of the children went back to playing in the village with each other. Some of the other, more mellow children, waited with you. Then the days turn to weeks, turn to months, and you give up actively waiting for him in the field. If he were coming back, he’d know where you are.

A little over a year passes before Techno can even properly get home. The other visits had only been little pit-stops to grab some supplies before hurrying back to the hustle and bustle of war. But no matter how much time passed, he never stopped thinking about you. How you must’ve missed him so much. Or worried for his safety. Just waiting at the village for him to come for you. And then you two could have such a nice life. He’d finally be in retirement. He hopes you weren’t angry at him.

So once he’s properly home, he hurries over to the village and frantically searches for you. Asking the villagers if you were still there and where you were. They’d all give a different location, but it was all in the village. He still had hope! When he does find you though, it isn’t pleasant.

You’re standing at the town center with most of the village children around you. Flower crowns were being crafted between y’all. It felt nostalgic. The first time he met you, you were making a flower crown for the kids. And you’re still doing it! It’s such a sweet sight, a domestic sight. He goes to walk over to you though, and a greeting forming on his lips.

But the children scream, looking at him in fear. Now hold up he knows he’s scary and doesn’t look the best, but he couldn’t have gotten that bad since he last came here. Right? The children alert you, and your panicked eyes meet his. There’s faint recognition in them, but you don’t acknowledge him.

He stops, and everyone scatters. Screams echo across the village, children run between adults towards their houses as the adults fumble around, trying to get their shops closed in the mayhem. Honestly he had no clue what was going on. You were shocked, frozen in place by his presence. Oh god please tell him the rumors of him spread here too-

One of the villagers goes and grabs you, dragging you back into one of the houses. You don’t look happy about that. If anything, it made you more panicked. Couldn’t that villager see what he was doing to you?? You’re getting hurt, scared by them. Let them go!

He charges toward you in an attempt to save you. But some of the older village men ran up to him with any weapon they could. Many had swords, which was an odd thing. When he came here many months ago, they barely had two swords for the entire village. And now almost everybody had one? Heh? What’s going on here?

They chase him out of town and into the woods a far distance away from the village. The audacity of them. Do they not remember who he is? Know who he is? He’s Technoblad, the blood god. Ring a bell? Yet they didn’t care when he tried to tell them who he was. Their parting words were a threat about him coming back to the village. On how’d they kill him and roast him in front of the entire village.

What the hell is their problem?

Later that day, you sneak out of the village to talk to him. You do your best to explain the mood change in the village since he left. Apparently a few weeks after he left, the village got attacked by a group of raiders. Which was bad in itself, but then some odd occurrences started to happen afterwards. There were zombie attacks on the village, which was only something told in stories from the elders. You had presumed they were little tales to get children to stay in line, but you were very mistaken. It wasn’t even a one time occurrence either! It happened almost every night. And other inhuman things came and attacked the village, taking out the far outskirts of the village. So anyone or anything that wasn’t a member of your village was an enemy.

A moment of silence followed your somber news. Techno’s coughing interrupted it though. And you asked what he had been up to since you last saw him. He began his tale about the most recent war he was involved in. Oh he even got a new scar! You were enamored by it, but noticeably less than before. The tale was told in such a nonchalant and humorous way, it was like child’s play. But you’ve now seen the horrors of death before your very eyes, the effects for warfare. So these tales were becoming less like fun little stories and more of the morbid accounts they actually were.

Once he was done explaining his adventures, he asked what you had been doing. Not just the village. You, as an individual, what have you been doing?

You tell of how life didn’t differ much. Visits to the meadow were still common, even with the danger. The children still followed you out too. They wanted to make flower crowns. But the other villagers were worried for the safety of you and the children, so you were sent with protection. One of the village boys went out with you every day along with the children. There was one limitation to everything though; you couldn’t stay out past sunset. That’s when these monsters appeared and attacked the village.

Then you nonchalantly mention how you really like the guy. It was someone you hadn’t really had a chance to talk to. He was the blacksmith’s son. A really strong guy, the silent type. You didn’t mind that, it just allowed you to chat more. To make up for his silence. And he said he really enjoyed it. And oh did you tell him that you got engaged to him? Yeah look, here’s the ring!! You hold up your hand, and on your left hand is a shiny ring.

His world falls apart. Wait, you were his. Why did you go to someone else while he was away? You kept babbling along about this guy, who he didn’t really care about. He felt betrayed. You didn’t wait for him… Why didn’t you wait? He’d always come back to you.

Sunset comes much sooner than either of you anticipated. You rush out a “goodbye” to Techno before you run back towards the village. At the entrance is some guy. He waves as you, and you run right into his arms. And you give him a kiss. You’re giggling as this shitty man swings you around. Hand-in-hand, you two walk off into the safety of the village.

Your peace couldn’t last forever. Techno would have made sure that your life was lived in luxury and yet you had this audacity to do this to him. To choose a nobody over him? He could provide for you! Give you all the attention you wanted! Even protect you. That guy probably can’t even lift a damn sword! Look he’ll show you that he’s the only choice.

During the nightly zombie siege, he walks in like he fucking owns the place. Some of the zombies attack him, but they go down in a small hit. They’re weak creatures compared to somebody like him. He stalks around the village, looking or any sign of you. The zombies are stronger than he thought or this village was much weaker than he originally thought. Now this? Another reason why you should just leave with him.

Your screams of terror echo across the village, and Techno frantically looks around for you. The zombies could attack such a defenseless thing like you. Come on where are you? Fortunately for Techno, you run right into him. You give him a tight hug around his waist, tears staining the fabric under your face. Some zombies are following you, but they’re very easy to take out.

He looks in the direction you came from though and saw the real issue. That fucking guy. Uh, Techno didn’t even want to refer to him by a name because he was that unimportant. He wasn’t going to be living much longer anyways. That guy you were with? Yeah he was surrounded by zombies, struggling to fight them off. But he did, so bravo for him. Though it was a pitiful job. Here, let Techno show you how it’s done.

He unlatches your arms from around him and walks toward this “fiance” of yours. The guy looks in your direction and runs towards you, yelling your name. Like you were in danger. You were in danger alright. In danger because of this fucking guy. He couldn’t keep you safe. See how easy it is to take him down?

He looks over at you for validation for his actions, but he sees absolute terror. And then he remembers what he did. Oh yeah, i guess skewering your sword through the body of your lover’s “lover” isn’t exactly a pleasant sight. But see? He’s such a better option! If this “fiance” were able to protect you, he’d be able to defend himself against Techno. Now come on, let’s go home.

And then you’re dragged away from your village and to the empty tundra. The last sight you get of your village is it falling under the zombie siege. Yells and screams emanate from the town. But the further you get from it, the quieter it gets. Until there’s no sound coming from the village anymore.

#c: techno #tw: yandere #dodo writing #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #tw: death #tw: zombies #tw: scars #tw: war #techno x reader #x reader #technoblade x reader #yandere #yandere technoblade #yandere technoblade x reader

[idontlikeem]

Can the Penguins give us something to make us feel confident about our playoff chances? Not sure how many chances can we still get, this is a huge game and we are blowing it to a team that will 100% beat us in the playoffs in the first round. I'm sad that Geno had to go down at such a huge game in the standings :/ How can we beat NYR in a 7-game series if we can't even beat them now? Sorry for the ramble, I'm so down now what more about the next two times we'll see them again.

aahhhhh ok anon, i am going to talk you off the cliff you've built and climbed up on.

this is not actually a huge game. not in the grand scheme of things. it's one game out of 82.

the pens have not actually had that many bad games this season. really, they haven't! for the vast majority of the games they've lost, they've looked competitive, and it's been errors or discipline issues or just being tired and getting outworked. bad games where they totally collapse are gonna happen.

and what better circumstances can you come up with for a collapse than: third game in four nights, traveling, already down two forwards, new guy trying to learn the system literally on the fly, and last minute your second-best player isn't available to play?

goalies have bad nights. shesterkin just had one himself not that long ago. it happens. when your goalie is having a rough night, and it coincides with the defense having a rough night, there's really not that much to be done.

i'm also not super sure what you mean with 'can't even beat them now' and 'will 100% beat us in the playoffs'. this is only the second time we've played the rangers all season, and we beat them the first time? after tonight the series of four will be tied 1-1.

i'm going to turn this around on you: if we meet the rangers in the playoffs (which isn't guaranteed! who knows who we'll be playing!), it will in fact be a seven-game series. we will have guys back that aren't in tonight's lineup. and if one game goes bad, there are other games to make up for it.

the most important thing to be able to do in a sport like this with a schedule like this is to forget bad games and shitty losses and move on to the next one. and the fact that tristan had to come back out after being pulled, and proceeded to make some REALLY good stops, shows that he has learned how to put mistakes and poor play in the past and not let it permanently rattle him. that's not something he was capable of in the postseason last year.

trust me, i get the 'oh no the sky is falling sell the farm and fire everyone' impulse. especially if maybe you're feeling not-so-great about other things, and then your hockey team skates out and plays a shitty game. but i think there may be a little bit of catastrophizing here? we've played them twice, they're a good team, each team has one one of the two games. what about that makes you say we have no chance of taking a seven-game series against them?

i have faith in this team. we've seen them play some exceptionally great hockey this season. they're capable.

have a little faith :) we know what they can do when they're rested and healthy and on their game right from the jump. this wasn't their night. it happens!

#asks #anon