#And I kind of don’t want to

[herawell]

.

#my mom wants to have a discussion about me seeking out therapy in the new year #And I kind of don’t want to #Partially because it’s NYE #And also because I am still lowkey bitter about the emotional blackmail/borderline abuse she pulled during my teenage and college years #including but not limited to blaming me for my parents’ marital issues every year since I was 13 #and attempting to [redacted] in front of me when I was 20 while I cried and pleaded for her not to #there’s other shit but those are the two that stand out in my mind #and she has repeatedly and upfrontly stated that she does not regret doing any of that and still blames me for it #even after herself having been in individual therapy for the last year #And I’m like why am I taking mental health advice from you? #I don’t have to have this conversation with her #I’m just visiting for the holidays and I live independently now and work full time #but if I don’t do this there’ll be tension between us #She won’t hold it against me or anything but there’ll be a distance #And despite everything we do have a warm and loving relationship even if it is marred #I think I’ll just have this one convo and then leave it #Starting next year all of me and my younger sibs are going to be in our 20s #And my mom has talked about wanting to back off and step back now that we’re adults and established #Mother mention cw #Negativity cw #Alia talks

[the-southern-cereal-king]

Sometimes I have to play a fun little game of “Is this fanart of Jesus Christ (bible), Odysseus(Greek), or Jonathon Sims(The Magnus Archives)?”

#tma #the magnus archives #the odyssey #the illiad #odysseus #jesus christ #like literal Jesus Christ #jonathon sims #jonny sims #the jc or Odysseus question blurs the lines sometimes #jonmartin #I really don’t want to tag the Bible #this isn’t that kind of blog #georgie barker #melanie king

[stuckinapril]

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

#I joined tumblr for the aesthetics and now I’m here bc it’s the most low pressure social media to be on #Instagram is ppl’s highlight reel but Tumblr is where u see their pure thoughts unobstructed and I adore that #It’s very nice to have people to relate to and is def the main appeal to me but I don’t think there’s much more to it than that genuinely #Monetization on tumblr isn’t a thing and probably won’t be so it feels stupid to put more stake than necessary in it. Like you’re in the #Trenches over tumblr of all things. Embarrassing #I know chronically online people exist bc I have seen them in my or somebody else’s inbox but imagine waking up at 70 one day and the #Realization hitting u like a freight time that u wasted all ur time thinking tumblr. TUMBLR. This dying website. Has enough weight for u to #be sending anon hate or reviewing ppl’s blogs like they’re some kind of product. Brother this is licherally tumblr #I choose to laugh at this behavior than take it seriously bc absolutely no one is driving me crazy on my OWN blog. On tumblr dot com. #I refuse #I will do whatever I want forever etc

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

You know what? I don’t WANT an awkward double date. I don’t WANT buck coming out and people having the ‘I know’ reaction or the ‘is it Eddie’ reaction.

You know what I do want?

I want Buck panicking over what to wear for the date. I want Buck flopping on his bed like very teenager after their first kiss all giggly and happy and touching his lips because he kissed a boy

I want Buck smiling every time he says Tommy’s name because maybe it isn’t forever and maybe he’s not even looking for forever anymore but he’s so happy and he’s so light and being with Tommy feels good

I want Tommy to keep calling him Evan, because before Buck was Buck he was Evan and Evan deserves to be happy to be treated so softly and lovingly and Evan deserves to be free.

I want Buck to be happy. To be happy and free and queer in the way we all deserve.

#the other things are nice I guess #buddie would be nice #but honestly I don’t care anymore #I just want to see a happy queer character in media #because we don’t even fully have that with hen and Karen #their journey wasn’t an easy one #and why can’t we get queer characters who have a soft loving kind story #whatoh back at it again #evan buckley #tommy kinard #eddie diaz #911 abc #give me a giddy buck who’s nervous and unsure but so excited #give me a Buck who’s awkward but so determined to make this work and to discover more about himself #give me a Tommy who is so soft with him so gentle so kind #because don’t we all deserve that love? doesn’t Evan Buckley deserve that love? #for once I don’t want the angst for him I just want him to be Happy and Free

[icaruspendragon]

something the women in my family are absolutely flabbergasted by every time it comes up is the fact that i don’t own a scale.

“how do you know how much you weigh??” they cry.

“i don’t.” i simply respond.

“you look thinner, have you lost weight?” they ask at christmas.

“i dunno.” i say as i check on the turkey.

“you look bigger, have you gained weight?” they probe, as if my weight rests on their shoulders.

“i’m not sure, but it’s fine if i have.” i respond with a casualness they cannot comprehend.

“don’t you want to know if you’ve lost or gained?” they inquire over cups of coffee and a plate of untouched cookies.

“i do.” i take a sip. “which is why i don’t need to know.”

“we don’t understand.” they say.

“i’ll drive myself mad if i know. it’s been a question i’ve been looking for the answer to since i was in the seventh grade and my weight was the topic of conversation for the first time; the stretch marks on my calves puberty brought being questioned and condemned. and so i started weighing myself once a day. then twice a day. i gained weight as i grew and was told to stop. i got depressed when i was 16 and the weight i gained was more concerning than the scars on my thighs. the critiques turned to compliments during my first year of college when i’d started skipping meals and my body had to feed itself because i wouldn’t. everyday i stepped on the scale and smiled as i watched that number get smaller and smaller. hunger felt like victory. i started doing drugs that took away my appetite and then my strength. and started feeling guilt when my stomach felt full. and suddenly every time i looked in the mirror i hated what i saw. the more weight i lost, the better i was supposed to feel. each remark on another part of my body lost felt like a slap to the face. i was told i looked good but i knew i wasn’t good enough. and so i tried harder. and then i started to get dizzy when i stood. and i ignored it like i’d learned to ignore my hunger. and then one day at work i dropped like the weight that was never enough after i bending at the waist to grab a milk cap from the floor. and when the darkness faded, i was surrounded by panic as an ambulance was called. and then i was tested and prodded and poked because they thought something was wrong with my heart. and the problem persisted but they never found out why. but i’d known all along. and then i left home and its scale behind. and moved into a new home that was mine. so i bought plates and sheets and art for the walls. but i didn’t buy a scale. then every time i walked down an aisle i’d see the them and pause. and i’d think about the hunger i now kept at bay. and even though i didn’t know how much i weighed, i didn’t notice my body had changed. and i’d think about how i hadn’t been dizzy for months. and how i hadn’t fainted for longer. and then i’d keep on walking. and now most days i like how i look.”

“but don’t you want to be skinny?” comes their quiet response.

“i want to be myself in whatever body i have.”

they stare in disbelief. so i shrug my shoulders, and grab a cookie. and i smile at them as i swallow the first bite.

#trigger warning ed #tw disordered eating #body neutrality i love you !! #the women in my family cannot comprehend that i don’t diet anymore #and that i just eat what i want #and that im okay with the unknown #bc my body tried its hardest to be kind to me #even when i tried my hardest to be unkind to it #and now it’s time to pay it back #throw out your scales!! they’re bad for your mental health!!

[cheesy-yarn]

So, with the addition of 중력 to the qsmp, and even more KR ccs to come, I feel like it’s time to say it again; DO NOT LITERALLY TRANSLATE HIS NAME!!!

It’s okay to romanize it as ‘Jungryeok’, but please do not address him as ‘Gravity.’ I know we had this talk with 악어 (Acau) and to not call him crocodile, but I’m already seeing some people complaining about how hard his name is. It’ll take some time to get used to, but please please please call him 중력. If I had to give a guide on how to pronounce it, it would be like ‘jung-nyeok.’ It’s not one for one, but he’ll introduce himself and then you can base your pronunciation off of that.

#qsmp #qsmp acau #qsmp jungryeok #중력 #악어 #rant? #kind of #I don’t want to sound rude #but please just try to pronounce their names instead of translating them #jungryeok is his actual name too so it sounds worse if you want to translate his name as gravity out of convenience

[qc-wiggles]

i lov eyour gerry. a and your michael. cccould we see Them please. .. fjjfjfjfjfhshgshdjfj

i like to think this is their early dynamic and it tickles me

#went kind of bonkers on the lineart and decided i didn’t want to paint it #i don’t ship gerrymichael that much but their aesthetics r always so fun to draw….photogenic duo #wiggly pen #draws #tma #the magnus archives #gerry keay #michael distortion

[thatssroughbuddy]

I feel like the first thing Sokka would do after the war would be to go hunt for his space sword. It landed on land, right? It’s made of space rock and it’s his favorite thing. There’s no doubt in my mind he’d be out there hobbling in that crazy terrain on his busted leg trying to find that thang

#Aang would fly over on Appa and be like are you SURE you don’t want help??? #and Sokka would be like no I’m sure I got this and then would scream bc he heard some kind of noise #and then him and Aang and Appa would find it together #gaang #avatar #avatar the last airbender #atla #sokka #aang

[greelin]

i really do love that there’s a whole genre of people out there who cannot handle getting told “hey can you maybe just be nice to other human beings” . that’s so funny to me. how are you alive

#people being absolute cornballs on this post like Omg don’t be mean to them you’re just reinforcing their behavior :( #girl i’ve tried with people like this. they do not listen. they take kindness from you and continue on their merry way being a dick #to everyone. They need a fucking wake up call #sorry i don’t have patience for it anymore. Grow up and grow or die #i cannot help people who do not want to help themselves. this dance requires two

[crees-a]

I give you Lunar

#I really don’t want you to think that I became some kind of full-time sams artist XD #because I’m not #It’s just I have so much work to do and drawing these little designs keeps my sanity #Sun and moon show #tsams #Lunar

[the-meme-monarch]

they weren’t kidding that frisk someone can sure strange

anyway so the “see you in the next hell, losers” is inspired by this video ! it made me Think. undertale was their first hell(possessed by the SOUL), deltarune is their current hell(wants the SOUL back)

and the “try as you might, you continue to be yourself” is from when you get a second red flag in Ball Game in undertale ! thought it’d be ironic since. theyre kinda not acting like themself since they don’t have the SOUL anymore. not that they even really know who they were without it

also knight chara is here

#the art gallery #deltarune #strange someone frisk #knight chara #has it been long enough that I should reexplain ssfrisk. it’s my theory substantiated by absolutely nothing #undertale ​frisk is the ‘strange someone’(as described by seam) who fucked up jevil (and spamton) #bc they were the playable character in ut and they’re know aware how their life was a video game. they got locked out of undertales univers #bc of the ‘I have places to be’ ending. they got introduced into the deltarune universe bc the game isn’t complete #they want to go home + the SOUL back bc they literally dont remember their life before falling into mt ebott #and well without the SOUL now their life is kind of A Mess. I mean look they don’t have it anymore and now they’re a villain /jokey

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[willowcrowned]

Sigh. I’m asking about the f*ckable cities

thank you for asking number one fuckable city easily chicago (lake micchy trains bean MUST I say more). number two fuckable city paris BUT she does have herpes and you WILL contract it. number three fuckable city leipzig (not technically fuckable you must make love to her but it will be worth it)

number one UNfuckable city is endless suburban purgatory with ten blocks of what vaguely passes for a real downtown (st. louis). number two unfuckable city is london (obvious)

#others considered for the list but discarded either for mehness or highly ambivalent traits: #austin tx berlin san francisco and nyc #also the city I live closest to. which frankly should barely even be called a city but technically it is one #but it’s just kind of shit and not actually unfuckable and also I don’t want to doxx myself. so there’s that #asks #anon

[magicratfingers]

grade digger

#dimension 20 #kipperlilly copperkettle #listen don’t come 4 me but I love her #I understand that particular kind of anger #and the complications of not being able to tell anyone about it because u look like a shithead #even though anger isn’t something rational or that u ask for #it just happens #and people want anger to be justified #fantasy high junior year #forklift certified

[pirateshavefeelingstoo]

I love slow, deliberate kisses. The kind of kisses where first your nose brushes against hers and then you can feel her breath on your lips and your hand moves up to her cheek and then, only after a few moments of breathing the same air do your lips touch. I want kisses that are long and heavy and syrupy.

#don’t get me wrong #I also love desperate and heated kisses #the kind that leave you panting and breathless #where your hands get tangled in each others hair #and you can feel just how badly they want you #but I also love slow intentional kisses #the kind that feel like talking #the kind that feel like you have all the time in the world #wlw #wlw romance #wlw yearning #lgtbqia+ #bisexual #bi #bi yearning #bi romance #lesbian #lesbian yearning #lesbian romance #sapphic #sapphic yearning #sapphic romance

[puppyeared]

personal character design headcanons + brainrot

Note: the re-bound!au does NOT belong to me, it belongs to @chipper-smol I’m just not normal about it lol

#I SAY PERSONAL BC ITS MY OWN SPIN ON IT. NOT CHIPPERS CANON UNLESS THEY DECIDE TO OR NOT YOU HEAR ME /LH #I made a banner and everything this time. PLWEASE send them your questions not me JAJFHDSF #I thought it would be cool if macaque has two separate forms as a shadow and inside a mindscape. like I wanted his shadow form to reflect #him in his prime and then the mindscape form as what he looked like when he died. or a more vulnerable state at least #based on LBD appearing to MK as the ivory lady when she died in the S3 special. I don’t know exactly what it was but my first thought seein #the white void was she was appearing to MK in his mindscape to talk to him. so I built on that #I wanted to give him a more ‘Smokey’ look as a shadow just based on how he manipulates them in the show like in shadow play. I hope this #makes it look cool and immaterial. and then his mindscape form would be more battered up and tangible #the last couple images are chippers ideas though since they said the monkeys are drawn to MK when macaque is possessing him lol #and the fact that macaque doesn’t have any senses unless he’s possessing someone + literally sniffing out wukong in the scroll 🤨📸 #I also have a vivid image of macaque moving from the mindscape to physical form like umm. kind of like when he passes the boundary between #physical and spirit/mind(?) it’s like the shadow covers him like ink. or pulling Saran Wrap over your face and it clings to your skin #so it kind of makes the shadow seem like a sort of shell or covering.. and I love the idea of MK meeting macaque in the mindscape for the #first time too. like the moment mac rescues him from LBD and MK sees him all battered and tired looking brooooooo #I’m not even sure if that would count as a mindscape but it rattles around in my brain like loose marbles #god I fucking love this au. gives me imagination fuel swear to god #my art #doodles #lmk #Lego Monkie kid #Monkie kid #lmk au #re-bound!au #rebound au #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #lmk macaque #lmk six eared macaque #lmk mk #lmk xiaotian