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whole-circus · 9 months

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I was wondering if you'd put your depiction on the creepypastas if the reader was a Tomie Kawakami like entity. I don't know if you have ever read or seen this character by Junji Ito or not so only do this if you're comfy

PS: have good day, hydrate and rest °v°

Creepypastas with Tomie Kawakami like!

➥ with Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, Eyeless Jack, "Ticci" Toby, BEN Drowned, X-Virus

Hi! I just LOVE that idea!! I must say I enjoy reading Junji Ito's works (even if Tomie wasnt my fav)! Here you go hun, if you want some other characters feel free to say! >:3 Good day for you too, take care! Also you waited so long im sorry, I had to made small break and now I feel like my "work" is shitty!!!!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

Jeff the Killer

Okay I feel like at first Jeff would pretend that he is not into you..who knows why? His own deep insecurities? Or he just doesnt like the idea of how flirty you are? You know, he usually is the one making first move and toying with others (making them obv uncomfy, he act like definition of "white straight good guy" lol). But no worries, he does find you absolutely cute, thinks you are prettiest person walking on earth (and you are all that actually). Listen, he wont magically turn into huge simp..but! you make him feel things. Congrats, you have high chance to broke Jeff and make him lovely-dovely on his weird way towards you! No matter if you are already in relationship with him or not, he gest pretty possesive and jealous over you! Come on, you cant be all pretty and cute AND have everyone all over you! People who adores you might end up dead before you will be able to kill them. Definitely would try threaten people to stop talking to you..its up to you if you find it cute or scary tho!

Jane the Killer

Jane gives me huge femme fatale vibes so i feel like you would really vibe together (no matter your gender)! And come on!! She understands the need of revenge like no one else!! Jane wants to beat Jeff ass! Adores you so much..not only you are absolutely gorgeous but also pretty smart too! Appearance matter in some way to her, but I think she would actually be into intelect and personality more than how you look like. And the fact that you are such a great manipulator!! You will make her fall in love with you even more. She is such a cutie im telling you! Jane is jealous but she puts that aside all that aside and she just worries about your yeah well technically you cant die, but what damage your brain will damage your brain and stay for long time! She doesnt want you to get hurt, even if you are doing the big scary job here!

Eyeless Jack

Demon partner with demonish partner? Isnt that perfect? Yeah yeah, you are diffrent from eachother but definitely have common ground, arent you? Dunno why but I feel like your charm wouldnt work on him just becasue of what he is. That doesnt mean that he doesnt find your ass cute tho! He just you know..its not really obsessive but more of actual feelings. Even if other pastas fell in love with your character too, then Jack would be a bit diffrent and at first fell for who you are and not what you look like! When it comes to possible of jealousity, he is not that much of envious about people who you flirt with/or they flirt with you! He clearly understands that you do it more for your..entertainment and to cause chaos (and maybe some sort of revenge). Also he is immortal, you are immortal - best couple to ever exist! You will spend eternity with eachother so he doesnt have anything to worry about!

"Ticci" Toby

Damn reader, you will break Toby! He gets so shy and so blushy around you.. Especially if you are flirting with him! Doesnt really like the idea of you and other people being a bit flirty. He gets jealous easly and it leads him to being insecure and doubtful of himself - he knows that he is not perfect, and all your actions make him even more anxious. Toby does care so much about your opinion so he just bottles it all up, not wanting to mess up even more! But I bet you are smart human being and feel that something is wrong. Just reassure him that you love him a lot and he is way diffrent than people you talk to (well, he is in fact atill alive, isnt he) and he is good to go!

BEN Drowned

Ben is Ben, not a simple thought in his head. Yeah kidding, but he just cant help but simp over you so so much! Like he is down on his knees at your service the second he sees you! Dont get me wrong, you are not only what you look like but its the first thing he notices about you! It would be almost too easy to manipulate him, but we dont do that here..(at least I hope so). Anyway, he literally worships you, you are the most good-looking person out here! And he is a ghost, he has seen a lot. About your habit of flirting around and then watchin somebodys downfall? I cant say he is not jealous, but he wont show it. Also finds your actions pretty funny. Who doest like to see someone dying becasue of their stupidy? Yeah, definitely not Ben, loves the chaos you cause.

X-Virus

Cody enjoyes how flirty you are! Okay well, maybe he only enjoys that if you are flirty with him! For real, you get him all giggly and blushy to be honest. Its so easy to tease him and so fun to look at! Propably tries his best to do the same but fails miserably. Your relationship give me a bit of nerd x popular partner vibe lol! You know, he literally spends half of his time in lab or studying for fun + Cody propably stinks. Now here you are, having such a mesmerizing appearance!! (You are fun to be around to, lets not be so vain!) . At the same time he asks many question, its just in his nature to enjoy knowing things. He just cant help but wonder what or who are you..but who wouldnt want to know that?..And please try to get idea of testing you or making small experiments out of his small silly head!! He is weirdo like that! But at the end of a day he is your weirdo!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

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saym0-0 · 2 months

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oh my god. oh my GOD mechs esmp crossover. this is for SUCH a niche audience the esmp fandom is dead i dont care mechs esmp crossover

LISTEN TO ME okay ill have to add a sci-fi element to my established esmp world i am OKAY with this, grimlands are already victorian steampunk its not that big a stretch to add space travel, especially in the place of dimension travel.

okay so in my esmp lore the emperors are blessed by the gods with conditional immortality and flight, they know a new ruler has been born by if they're born with wings. i bet though i could twist that into the king cole/olympians idea of trading their citizen's lives for immortality. although it is kinda reversed? (mechs immortals tend to stop aging but can be killed, emperors still age and can die of old age, but cant be killed). hmm i mean theres definite differences between king cole and the olympians so maybe its just another variation, or something closer to the mechs themselves? though that ones less likely

honestly there literally is an esmp1 musical so i reckon its interesting enough to attract the mechs

but lets be honest with ourselves here, the only reason im doing this is so i have an excuse to draw grimlands!marius lmao

i think raph would be interested in it too though, with how they're so much more reliant on technical advancement than magical.

ivy would love the rivendell library, and crystal cliffs

hmmm jonny might have fun between mythland and the cod empire,,,

hmmmm brian would maybe like to hang out with shrub in the undergrove? he does like his garden,, maybe the overgrown with katherine too,, or gilded helianthia!

hrm,, i keep wanting to put people in the grimlands but i know thats only because its my favourite so therefore the most developed and also the most similar in vibe to the mechs

with that said though, tim really would have fun there,, like hes the gunpowder guy!! fwhip is the gunpowder guy!! they both r in charge of weapons!! guns, crossbows, same difference really

oough back to raph i think she and fwhip would bond over making their own wings,, fwhip made his to prove that he is fit to rule after gem fucked off to wizard school and raph,, uh actually i never found out raphs backstory beyond the fact im like 78% sure she made her and marius' mechanisms,, although that could be widely accepted fanon who knows not me

i think marius would also enjoy mezelea

but OH MY GOD TOY SOLDIER IN MEZELEA,,, i cant believe i almost forgot it,, i think it would immediately blend in with the clones and pretend to be one right up until they leave the planet, and have the time of its life the whole time,,

i dont know where ashes would go either.. i cant just say grimlands again because theres like four of them there already but,, the explosions!!

maybe mythland, or rivendell, those both seem like they'd appreciate a good mob boss taking over the place tbh

i think brian would get along with pix also

okay this isnt mechs but the fandom is a circle so if theres actually any fans of both out there reading this post, has anyone else noticed just how similar pix and jon's (tma) voices are?? genuinely when i started listening to the podcast i had to double check the va wasnt pix (and imagine my confusion when they share the same name too..)

anyways if anyone wants to scream about this with me please do, or if you want to know more about my esmp expanded universe feel free to do that too! in asks replies or reblogs idm

#the mechanisms #esmp #empires smp #empires smp s1 #the mechs #caps #tw caps #i am aware that this is so riddled with headcanons that its indecipherable to literally everyone #regardless of if they come from mechs empires or both #but idc my brain is going wild we ball

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silence-between-seconds · 2 days

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OK NOW YOUR TURN

pls pls ramble abt any niche interest you have

HELLO THANK YOU

*invokes inner history nerd* so. listen here colonizer and listen good. i will subject you to my random knowledge cuz due to youtube, undiagnosed neurodivergency and most importantly- bad jokes. i have a vari-tea of niche interests but the first thing that came to my mind was my knowledge of the history of how Indians became one of The Top Consumers of Tea.

how did this wonder-drug make its way into our masala covered hearts? what led to the fact that everyday at 4pm the word at the tip of most indians' tongues is "chai"?this is my thesis as a pro desi tea obsessed freak.

This story, like most in our history, starts with the arrival of the British. i would like to insert this picture i found in a video that i laughed at for a solid five minutes:

anyway

technically tea was invented in china, and for a very long time it was exclusively grown there. it was a very high class commodi-tea. it was considered so precious that in 1662 when king charles the second married the Portuguese princess catherine of braganza: her dowry was a chest of tea and THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF MUMBAI (then, bombay) for an annual lease of 10 pounds. let me make that clearer. THE PLACE WHERE A 1BHK HOUSE IS SO EXPENSIVE MOST PPL CANT AFFORD WAS EQUIVALENT TO THIS:

needless to say the brits was so freaking addicted man. they wanted this. so bad.

By the 18th centuary there was a war between the english and the dutch and the brit resources were down the toilet so they couldnt afford to spend all that silver on the trade of tea leaves with china. and china was uninterested in anything the white boys were offering.

UNTIL they discovered something china wanted.

✨Drugs✨

the white boys wanted that tea. and they would do anything. so they started growing opium in india (by that time they had colonized us bruh. they came into our backyard and were like "bro we're such good friends pretty please let me use ur backyard" "ok what do you want to do w it?" "i wanna grow drugs bro" "....ok" "you'll work for me no bro?" "why would i do that" "bro its ur backyard bro" "what-" *england pulls out slavery* "SHUT UP AND DO IT") (dont come at me lmao this is a very rough simplification of what happened)(imma get blocked for this?)

anyway, brits grew opium and smuggled it to china in return for TEA. FOR TEA. 40.

now after the charter act of 1833 (idk what that is exactly but basically brits lost its trade monopoly with china and so now china said we should see other people and it was an open relationship and britian got very pissed but they signed the act anyway i think)

to deal with this they established the Tea Committee (this isnt the first government board specifically for tea. there were plen-tea of others like the Tea Board Of India) which dealt w the extraction of techniques, tea seads and resources from the chinese. this was highly unsuccessful and china was not impressed. this is an example of british desperation they'll do anything at this point. (took everything in me to not insert pictures of how they treated indian farmers. it was *inhales, lets go of anger for my ancestors treatment* bad)

but in the end this qoute i found (undoubtedly by a white man) "fortune favours the white men" came tru and they got their way.

oh you thought i was done? haha babygurl i am not

in 1843 robert fortune, who was a scottish horticulturist, went on a solo trip to china to study (read as: steal) tea plantations. no actually apparently he did study cuz he published a book(i forgot the name).(yes. HIS NAME WAS ROB. FORTUNE. talk about being born for a job)

lemme insert a quick meme here:

(they actually hired him on the spot and gave the amazed man 500 pounds per annum and sent him off to china)

he was to perform what we call The Great British Tea Heist the brits had found their vigilan-tea

my guy was committed to his role and shaved his head and pretended to be a monk and after 3 months wrote a letter to his company saying "bro i got the goodssss"

lmao no this it what the letter said- "l have much pleasure in informing you," he wrote, "that I have procured a large supply of seeds and young plants which l trust will get safely to India."

NOW they finally had the greens and started planting it in india. over the years indian tea topped the market in britian as the best tea. mostly cuz the white boyz HYPED it up. they even started doing diss tracks for chinese tea. this is something read right out of an advertisment- "indian teas are more wholesome, purer, cheaper and better than chinese teas in every single way". white boyz started saying stuff like they got out of a toxic realtionship with china and a healthy one with india (but they were the toxic ones)

now brits tried to globalize indian tea to get the moneyyy~ from indians.

their first experiment with (another) government body for tea- Indian Tea Association began on the indian railways. these railways were the ancestor of the IRC-tea-C. basically they started making tea on the railway platforms. this started the trend of tea being the signature experience on every indian train journey, from the first class to economy, everyone was having it (cuz trains were introduced and quickly became popular in use). train tea was said to be better than the quality of tea in 5 star hotels. and this converted us from a nation of tea-totalers to teach addcits.

now i just have one thing to say in the end. HOW did the quality decline so badly my desi brothers and sisters? nowadays the tea on trains is basically water but brown. milk is a lie.

anyway. on the end we got it right. we took tea from the chinese and brits and we added milk and we added sugar and we got:

✨chai✨

you have reached the end. congrats.

#siri goes insane #asks #history #of tea #tea #chai #desiblr #most of these jokes were made by other people #pls dont come at me if you have heard them b4 #it is not my responsibili-tea #great britian #what were you doing #what goes on #lmao

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fagcrisis · 1 month

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poppy war thoughts, aka this book was so bad it made me want to get a goodreads account just so i can shit on it in an official capacity

so what initially sold me on this book, is that despite my friend ellis absolutely hating rf kuang's babel, ive only ever seen raving reviews for it anywhere else, and a brief description of its magic system reminded me of gergő és az álomfogók. i love that mainstream fantasy is finally starting to rely on drawing from cultures other than the sort of western mainstream and i was actually super excited to get into it. well it sucked (this contains spoilers obviously)

its 11 am this is not gonna be very structured but let me start off by listing some things i did enjoy. first of all its low hanging fruit and im better than this so im only gonna shit on tpw for being so directly about the sino chinese war that the only actual interesting bits of exposition in the book was what was just a description of actual events a Little bit. listen lotr is about ww2. its fine its all fine. anyway, i had fun with the bits of worldbuilding that were yk, actually worldbuilding. the magic system was really interesting and just super not explored enough, the book handled drug addiction about as sensitively as the dare program, but nevertheless it was a cool concept. shamans who have to get high as hell do do anything and then putting those guys in a combat setting is crazy. really fun concept. speaking of shamans i loved jiang. his archetype is impossible to fuck up and he was loveable and fun till the very end. uhh what else. the fight descriptions were good its something kuangs is decent at, as someone whos watched just truly an inordinate amount of wuxia as a child i rly can appreciate a stupid convoluted fight scene. oh i found it hysterical that the west was just one country that was really fun.

NOW ONTO THE SHIT I HATED

rin is incredibly unlikeable i know its not the point of every book ok but tpw isnt good enough to have a protagonist who is just impossible to relate to this isnt 1984 okay this is contemporary ya. i GET that she sucks and thats the point but im supposed to emphatize with her and throughout the book she just seemed stupid and easy to manipulate and not very interesting. shes an incredibly shallow character which is i guess what happens when you base your ya teenage girl protagonist on CHAIRMAN OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY MAO ZEDONG. HELLO. anyway. all her personal relationships are very much carried by the strenght of the characters close to her, and because most characters in this book are not very interesting that makes for a shitty fucking protagonist.

most of the conflict in this book is extremely artificially generated until maybe the second half of part 3. everyone in rins life is unnessecarily mean to her because shes just so smart and good at things. the part where they accused her of cheating on the exams and she owned them like crazy came to define much of the book. some kind of mean cunt whose purpose in life is to cause misery is an asshole to rin bc shes so smart and strong and talented, and she owns them with a witty remark. she punches nezha on the first day of school for fucks sake.

speaking of the school, the majority of the book is spent at sinegard academy and it is an extremely predictable and dull affair. i long for the wizard of earthsea. kuang is not a very good writer on a technical level and everything that she tries to imply she ends up spelling out (usually by having a character say it out loud) only a couple pages later. you can get through 2/3rds of this book by just reading every other page and correctly guessing what has happened and what will happen. in possibly the funniest paragraph of part 2, rin thinks about how everybody thinks altan is the coolest guy and yet he has no friends and at this point shes been experiencing quite severe racism from all of her peers and then instead of leaving you to figure out the quite obvious conclusion kuang literally has her say "oh his skin is dark and mine is too. i wonder if he knows what racism is like" just, truly hysterical.

her feud with nezha is unbearable, i knew immediately that he would become a romantic interest because a ya protagonist cannot hate a boy for perfectly good reasons. it always has to be bc shes horny. anyways thankfully when she starts studying with jiang, jiang is there and the terrible dullness of it all is lifted somewhat

as i mentioned before, the actual historical elements in the book elevate it greatly and the third part is almost enjoyable in some sections. however, unfortunately, this is also the part of the book where rin and altans darkling situation begins. i have a sinking feeling altan may not have died, which sucks because i hated this bit. they have virtually no relationship to eachother except altan yelling at rin occasionally. now again there were bits and pieces of their relationship that i didnt quite hate, but honestly i still dont entirely buy the rin is a seerly thing emotionally because she is so detached from it. the revelation only seemed to shock her a little bit and then she was busy with being at war and her boss hating her, when she actually gains the power of the phoenix at the very end its her own hatred and egoism fueling her rather than any connection to her people. overall this again comes back to her being quite weak as a character, and the worldbuilding suffers as a result of that

in any case, ill mull over continuing the series. the ending was actually quite strong i love a genocide as a result of being a stupid fucking 19 year old (dont quote me on this please), so maybe the next one is better maybe ms kuang learned to write inbetween these 2.

#galléros fecó naplója

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theonlyladylove · 1 month

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Cis Autistic persons thoughts on Transautism:

Short awnser: based.

Long awnser: My experiance of being autistic is not soley "bad wiring in brain". It's a mental health diagnosis if your going purely off of a dictionary, clinical sort of definition. If you think you could sum it up neatly, even in a book, well good luck to you. It is not only complex, but varied between people. My own sibling is basically an exact opposite to me in most ways despite us both having high functioning autism. If you need further proof just talk to a bunch of people on the spectrum and listen. You'll get so many different life experiances. I want everyone to recognize this even if you disagree with validating trans autism.

You can be undiagnosed or not have what we define medically as Autism and still exhibit any or all of the traits. Stimming, social anxiety, sensory seeking behaviors, sensory adverse behaviors, sensory overload sensitivity, etc etc etc. Every time I think I have all the possible autism traits down i find another hiding under a rug or something lol.

And heres something to consider. Autistic people have been calling undiagnosed characters autistic for years. Tina from.Bobs Burgers is autistic in my head canon, and her father literally stated in the first episode shes "not autistic". Technically shes really just a voice and some art, she cant have autism as a rigid mental health diagnoses because she isnt real. Its the same thing with Glados being a woman despite even in universe being a robot. We call boats she/her.

Are you worried they might not share your experiances, your tribulations as someone with diagnoses autism? Because cis autistic people might not either. Nothing has changed.

I dont have hate for anyone who might be advocating against this. Please be kind to people, a lot of them are advocating on behalf of autistic people, even if i dont like how they are going about it.

It was really important for me to find validation from cis woman as a trans woman, and even the idea of a woman dismissing my gender really does hurt. I'm sorry if some of you have felt miserable because people try to invalidate you.

You dont need a strangers permission but I support your transautistic identity.

#autism #transautism #radqueer #love #lgbtq

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leotello · 1 year

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YES HELLO I AM A TRANSFEM LEO ENTHUSIAST<3 plleeeeaassee imagine karai doing leo's makeup for the first time.... especially if she's still in her questioning/denail phase AA and she looks in the mirror and just. emotions. ough.

also the teenage transgender angst. myyyyyyyy god🙏 leo being extra irritable and upset, snapping more often, maybe even neglecting responsibilities, and no one knows why. leo doesnt know either.

egg leo asking april looootttssss of questions about being a girl. isnt it nicer? does it feel better? do you feel lighter for being a girl? and april is like. Um. well ive never thought about it like that. leo being like wait, do you never think about what it would be like to be a boy? doesnt everyone fantasize about being the opposite sex?

just🙏 i love her sm

YES YES YES TRANSFEM LEO <3

oh my god karai doing her makeup. yes. i feel like leo isn't much of a makeup girl most of the time, but it still does something, it makes her see a side of her she didn't realize she wanted to pursue.

just, karai helping her realize she's a girl in general. they have a lot of long talks at night on rooftops, mostly leo rambling in circles, talking herself in and out of IDing as trans, while karai listens and nods and occasionally tells her point-blank when she's being stupid or way too hard on herself.

i like to think that she wants to keep the name leonardo; she feels very attached to it, both because it's a nice name and because master splinter gave it to her and she values that greatly; and also because, while yes technically its a boy's name and you don't really meet any girls named leonardo, you technically... also don't meet any boys named leonardo either? so she kind of wants to keep it. but that makes her feel like she's not "girly enough." karai is the one to tell her "it's just a name. i could change my name to greg right now and it wouldn't make me a guy." and leo's like oh. i never thought of it that way. huh.

and yes, teenage leo hitting puberty and suddenly being so irritable and uncomfortable in her own skin, as her dysphoria intensifies. her voice deepens and she can't say why she hates it. her plastron dips inwards and she can't explain why she doesn't want to look at it. her skin darkens and she wishes it would go back to how it was before. (these are turtle sexual dimorphism btw, im just a biology nerd)

i feel like april gives leo a lot of words to describe her experience, lots of labels and info on communities (online, of course, she's still a turtle), while karai is less label-savvy but better at getting to the heart of the issue and asking leo the hard questions about how she really feels.

#i could talk about transfem leo for HOURS #i lov her so much sometimes when im watching 2012 tmnt i call leo she/her in my head and im like. well they cant stop me!#alv posts #transfem leo #leonardo #karai #april #ask

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who-is-shades · 22 days

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raz dnd 33

theres a knock at the door. being summoned by the archfey. parsley dont make it difficult shes gonna kill us. this can only go well. shes still only speaking sylvain fucker. she'll repair his wings in exchange to keeping him here, fucker. she'll also void teya's contract wtf.

raz you know the dm isnt supposed to win yeah? i hate lawyers.

parsley plays dumb about teya xD hes contractionally to leave. he will die. 'you can be easily resurrected.' he says shes not dear to him. hate her ass! stop looking at teya! you can keep the mom pretend teya isnt here. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE JAR IS BREAKING?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED 3 MORE KIDS?! SUNNIE?!?!?! WEVE BEEN HERE A WEEK?!

parsley says its debatable if shes teya. technically teya is now a clone so. like. she accepts this but uhhh. is the plan to. kill sunnie? senna can only rez him within a minute with physical touch. shes taunting teya fucker. parsley fills the rest of us in on this shit. NO YOU CANT KEEP SUNNIE YOU FUCKER.

teya, dont hidden step. their gonna hurt sunnie if she keeps being a little shit. ngl this isnt fun. um yeah. headspace having bad time.

teya puts on an act to beg queen bitch to let her hug sunnie goodbye. epic fail. parsley jumps in and says "shes a mundane what could it hurt." teya puts on the sniffles and the queen allows it while insulting parsley.

teya uses feign death on him and he collapses on her. the guards yank her away and he just drops to the ground. queen has an eye twitch haha. since hes of no use she just. blows teyas mom away and says the contract was a waste xD.

shit she wants the body why. she gives up the body nice. zen really believes sunnie is dead :( teya didnt tell us anything xD wheatley tells parsley we should just go were not getting help here. parsley asks what she even wants from having him back here. making up for the failed marriage for one. and keep him here, like whatever lady.

parsley thinks theres a way they can both get what they want. 'im listening~' fix his wings and let him kill zorbolt, he will come back and make up for what he did. NOT staying, but they can arrange that details. she says 'until I consider you made up for what you did.' 'depends on what you would have me do.' theyll work the details later. also if he doesnt come back his wings will fail.

end of journey is killing zorbolt and getting what is owed to parsley. shes adding us into this deal wtf? she wants us to deal with the robots in the woods? he explains that dealing with zorbolt will stop the bots so it should be good. she wants it done now tho like lady we cant get in the woods. metal animals? something covered in eyes?

also after parsleys deal is done he can come and go as he pleases as long as he doesnt get in the way. deal taken! magical contract! rosemary fixes his wings. but we also still think sunnie is dead and have to go into the woods. parsley quickly puts in a good word for fiddlefink xD basil screams for parsley to visit xD his dad calls him impressive!

senna calls sadly to teya. a guard walks up and says he will lead us to the problem. senna says prayers for sunnie as they follow the guard. parsley tells us about what we gotta fight. senna guesses it might be a beholder. follow the path and itll get close to the creatures.

teya wakes up sunnie! rejoice! senna calls teya a genius xD time to yell at sunnie for coming to the feywilds! senna casts presti on him hes so dirty. he got robbed by goblins wtf xD parsley turns into teya for a joke and teya gets her name back nice!

#senna #dnd #dnd adventures

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br1ghtestlight · 7 months

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love how bob seems to be completely out of it for this entire episode. like gene and tina are barely following along with linda and louise's insane reverse psychology game but bob is GONE like he's not present at the dinner table he isnt even part of the family. he just grumbles when linda tells him to but he isn't saying shit 😭😭

TINA AND GENE ARE SO SILLY IN THIS EPISODE LMAOO head empty zero thoughts. they are nothing more than pawns in louise's game

bob is correct for wanting to bribe them with candy that would literally work. like they are simple people

WHAT IF THEY TURN INTO LITTLE DELINQUENTS WHO DONT LISTEN TO AUTHORITY??? linda do you know who your kids are they are already WELL past that point especially louise. kinda funny that linda in this episode has the exact opposite viewpoint to how she was w/ louise in amelia. not a criticism of the episode its just ironic

BLACKMAIL

ARE YOU GONNA KILL US LMFAO

gene is SO BABY in this scene im gonna need to take screenshots later bcuz he is the smallest boy. in the world or maybe ever

back when we were children?? says the nine year old child

love how this episode is told through a bedtime story its very creative formatting and kinda unique feeling compared to the three story type of episode :)

MR FISCHOEDER APPEARANCE thank god we always need more fischoeder in our lives. i was worried we would have to wait weeks or even months to see him again

love big g. is that perhaps Grandma or Gloria

ZEKE AND JIMMY JR this is the big win for people who like seeing secondary characters. this episode already has more of them than like the Entirety of season 13 zeke and gene are so cute. their friendship is everything

THEY SEEM NICE TO ME AND LOVING I WANNA SAY AND WISE LIKE THEYVE GOT ALL THIS WISDOM TO PASS ON ABOUT LIFE AND THE WORLD 😭😭😭 lmao zeke saying that bob and linda are loving and kind is kinda sweet even though i know its technically bob and linda saying that about themselves. i do think zeke has a positive view of bob and linda Tbh

YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU WORK SO HARD ALL THE TIME AND YOURE DELIGHTFUL........

new jimmy jr lore: he has a small bladder?

BOB AND LINDA GIVING EACH OTHER PIGGYBACK RIDES <3 so cute

rudy AND jessica spotted

AAWWWW ITS OUR JOB TO PROTECT YOU they love their kids so much :(

MARSHMALLOW APPEARANCE WTF??? new voice actor too :D i thought if she was gonna be in any episode it would be the bachlorette episode but its kinda funny she's just randomly in a western. its where she belongs

wait did i die?? no you were just being dramatic :/

I DONT KNOW WHY I THOUGHY MR FISCHOEDER WAS GONNA SERIOUSLY SUGGEST TO USE REAL BULLETS mf just shoots a bunch of kids. i mean he would do that honestly

AWW BOB SPECIAL INTEREST MOMENT he likes cooking ^_^

everything i do i do it for you 😭😭💕

LINDA ACTUALLY CRYING THIS IS GONNA BREAK MY HEART wtf i wasn't expecting this episode to actually get sad. what the hell </3 louise making her mom cry.....

"even though its really cool for moms to get angry and frustrated and cry in front of their kids"

this is weirdly reminding me of mother daughter lazor razor?? linda saying that she wished louise liked her and then louise saying wait you think i dont like you. their relationship is so weird and complicated but louise DOES love and respect linda and thinks she's really cool and fun!!! i wont hear otherwise idc

ONE OF OUR CHORES WAS TO LIGHT GRANDPAS CIGARS LIKE IN OUR MOUTHS??? LMAO WHAT THE FUCK LINDA why is this getting like weirdly serious is every episode gonna be like this now. are they just a little bit traumatic to watch every single time (also john roberts did A GREAT job voicing in this episode especially this ending scene)

MOSTLY BECAUSE OF TINA RIGHT AND GENE why did i literally start laughing loudly when she said that. god i love louise so much

aww they're babies <3 their relationship is the sweetest. you'll the toughest little cutie in prison

LIKE I SAID CANDY WAS LITERALLY THE SOLUTION those kids will do anything for some candy we all know this. we've seen the show before

gene its not even a question you WILL play coachella someday baby boy. you could probably do anything you wanted

GLORIA APPEARANCE i mean i dont like her but its been a few seasons since she was around. hello gloria is al dead

wait why does gloria have big ass badonkadonks..what who said that

aww the babies all asleep <3 little sweethearts

THIS EPISODE WAS SO FUN AND CUTE??? like genuinely a great episode that was heartfelt AND funny and had a really interesting story element to it as well. louise and linda episodes are always great and i love linda talking about how hard it is to raise good people and how much pressure is on them (and it makes sense that she would be more stressed about making them do chores vs bob because it was her mom who was pressuring her. big bob doesnt give a FUCK) a very fun start to hopefully a great season!!!!

#NOW TO GO TO MY TOTALLY LEGAL PIRATING SITES AND GRAB SCREENSHOTS FROM THIS EPISODE.......#txt #bob's burgers #episode review

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bridgyrose · 1 year

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Grettings and Slutations, Bridgy! Might I possibly, maybe, remotely pretty please request some more of Blind!Weiss?

Blake came to in a large warehouse, her head pounding from the smoke induced headache. Her body shook as she looked around, eyes hesitating on her reflection. Her clothes had been changed out for a White Fang uniform with a mask sitting next to her on the ground. The last few hours had felt like a blur to her, lungs still burning with each breath. Her voice sounded hoarse as she spoke. “Anyone there?”

The room was silent for a few moments before the door to the office she was held in finally opened, a familiar voice ringing through her ears as her body went stiff.

“Its good to see you again, my darling.”

“A-Adam…”

Adam walked in and closed the door behind him, a smirk crossing his lips as he looked Blake over. “Just when I thought I had lost you forever, a human came knocking on my door to let me know that he had found my prize. I told you I wasnt going to let you go.”

A chill ran up the back of Blake’s neck at being called a prize, ears twitching as she listened to the sounds of footsteps outside her door. “I told you I didnt want anything to do with this anymore. We’re not being respected, only feared!” She paused for a moment and looked away. “Besides, why are you working with a human? You hate humans.”

“The human I’m working with has a few similar goals as I do.” Adam made his way over to Blake and gently caressed her cheek with a gentle hand. “She also promised that you’d be mine again. And I think its safe to say that she’s delivered on that promise.”

Blake quickly retracted from Adam’s hand, then winced as she felt the sting of a slap against her cheek. She tried to move her arms, hands bound against the chair she was in. “I wont be yours!”

Adam nodded and started to make his way out of the room, pausing as he opened the door. “If you ever want to leave this place, you wont have a choice.”

“My friends will come find me-”

“Your friends? You mean the Schnee that hates you and the Blonde that stayed with her? Or do you mean the human that was with you? Little Red isnt going to be able to help you, she cant even help herself. Face it, no one is going to care that you’re missing and no one is going to come help you.”

Blake’s ears folded as she watched Adam leave, her thoughts turning towards Ruby from what Adam had said. She hated the idea that someone had gotten hurt because of her, someone that she could consider as a friend. Her eyes went back to the White Fang mask sitting on the ground, her body trembling more as she slowly reached for it with her foot.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weiss quietly paced outside the elevator to Ozpin’s office, her cane tapping around in front of her to make sure she didnt hit any of the furniture or other students that came and went. Everything had gone so wrong so quick and she still hadnt quite understood how. Sure, she was technically at fault for having yelled at Blake, but that didnt mean she had to run off with Ruby and get herself taken who knows where.

The elevator dinged and she paused for a brief moment to tap her cane against the wall to make sure she hadnt been in the way of the elevator. She struggled to push her aura out to see who was coming off, her heart skipping a beat as she saw the outline of Yang. “How’d it go?”

“He cant help us.” Yang made her way to a bench and dropped with a heavy sigh. “We dont know much about what’s going on and while he’s sure they’re in trouble, we cant follow if we dont know where they were taken. To make matters worse, since the dock is already under police investigation, if we interfere with anything they’re doing, we’ll get expelled.”

“So our options are to get expelled or do nothing and wait?”

“Pretty much.”

Weiss sighed and leaned against the wall and tucked her cane to her left hip. “Then… we dont have a choice. If we get expelled, we get expelled.”

Yang paused and looked over at Weiss. “Are you serious? I thought you couldnt risk that.”

“I still cant, but… you’re right.” Weiss gently thumbed her cane and closed her eyes. “I was a bit… harsh on Blake and I could’ve done things better. When we find her, then I can have that chance to make things right.”

“And how do you expect to find her?”

“I dont know… yet. I’m sure if we do a little looking around-”

“I think I know where she went,” Sun said.

Weiss quickly raised her cane at the new voice, not quite glaring in his direction. “Who are you?”

“Down Weiss, let’s hear him out before you attack him.” Yang sighed and gently pressed on Weiss’s cane to lower it. “And were you eavesdropping on us?”

“No, I just happened to come by and hear you guys talking,” Sun answered.

Weiss rolled her eyes and spoke under her breath. “So you were eavesdropping.”

Sun smirked and pulled out his scroll to pull up a picture of a warehouse. “But I know where the airship you’re looking for went. Its over at an abandoned warehouse at the edge of the industrial district. I would’ve gone after those two myself, but its crawling with White Fang.”

Yang looked at the picture and nodded. “And you’re sure this is where they’re at.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Sun said as he motioned with his tail.

Yang nodded and grabbed Sun by his collar to drag him. “Great, then you’re coming with. And then you’ll have to explain how you knew what we were talking about.”

#rwby #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #sun wukong #drabbles #blind weiss redux au #blind weiss redux

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cantdanceflynn · 1 year

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This is so correct, would you be able to elaborate on that? You have good Candace opinions and it would be really cool to hear your thoughts on her in the crossover.

OHOHOHOHOOHOHO I JUST SAW THIS ASK AND YOU HAVE OPENED A DAM UGIERHUITGHREUGHRG

OK SO CANDACE IS SO FUCKIN MISUSED IN THE CROSSOVER, EVEN IF SHES MORE INCHARACTER THEN PEOPLE THINK SOMETIMES

HER FIRST APPEARANCE IS BASICALLY A POKEMON GO JOKE, WHICH DOES ACTUALLY ADD UP WITH HER CHARACTER(IE: THE INATOR METHOD), AND THATD BE FINE ON ITS OWN, BUT THE MIXTURE OF HER JUST STRAIGHT UP NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE PISTACHIONS(SOME OF WHOM REPLACED AT LEAST BUFORD AND BALJEET, WHO SHE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS, AND LIKELY ALSO REPLACED THE MAJORITY OF HER FRIENDS???????? LIKE EVEN IF WE GAVE STACY IMMUNITY BASED ON NOTLP AND VANESSA IMMUNITY BC OF DOOFS TOWER AND DOOF HIMSELF BEING SORTA PROTECTED(PLUS NORM), JENNY AND JEREMY AT LEAST WERE LIKELY TAKEN OUT????) AND BALJEET BEING SCARED OF HER(ON A TECHNICALITY THAT DOESN'T EXIST IN THIS CONTEXT??? IT WORKS FOR BALJEET AND HIS INTERACTIONS WITH CANDACE, SURE, BUT ITS WEIRD REGARDLESS.) MAKES IT ALL SO WEIRD AND JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR HER.

CANDACE DOESN'T RLY DO MUCH UP UNTIL THE SATELLITE WORKSHOP, WHICH IS KINDA STUPID BC LIKE. SHES DEADLY. WE KNOW THIS. CANONICALLY SHES DEADLY. SHE DOESNT RLY FIGHT ANY OR DO ANYTHING BESIDES MOVE WITH THEM. ITS SO WEIRD WHEN HAS CANDACE EVER DONE NOTHING REGARDING STUFF LIKE THIS.

AND UPON REACHING THE WORKSHOP, THE FIRST THING SHE RLY DOES IS RECOMMEND THEY BASICALLY KICK MILO OUT. WHICH MIGHT BE PRACTICAL, YES, AND IT IS IN CHARACTER, BUT THE WAY ITS DEALT WITH IS SO STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD UGH. HER DECIDING TO TAKE HIM OUT HERSELF MAKES THE SITUATION ACTIVELY SO MUCH WORSE, ESPECIALLY BC SHE HAS SIMILAR EXPERIENCE WITH SITUATIONS LIKE THIS THAT PHINEAS AND FERB DONT HAVE(LISTEN, I KNOW THAT QUOTE IS INACCURATE AS MUCH AS ANYONE, BUT EVERYONE TAKES IT SO LITERALLY AND ITS SO STUPID WHY DOES EVERYONE DO THAT IT CLEARLY IS ASKING WHAT THEIR PLAN IS WHEN THINGS GO WRONG AND IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS THEY DONT HAVE A PLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), AND WHILE SHE DOES TRY TO HIDE THEM, THIS IS A COMBINATION OF TWO FOCAL POINTS OF BAD LUCK!!! ITS SUCH A STUPID IDEA AND EVEN IF MELISSA AND ZACH KNEW CANDACE BEFORE THEYD STILL PROBABLY CONSIDER IT SUSPICIOUS!!!!!!!

AND THEN THE ACTUAL SCENE WHERE SHE REALIZES HE CAN BE HELPFUL DOESNT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT HER OWN BAD LUCK AT ALL!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT EVEN CONSIDERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE JUST SEES A BUNCH OF USUALLY UNLUCKY STUFF THAT MANAGE TO TAKE OUT SOME PISTACHIONS AND DECIDES HE COULD BE USEFUL BC HE KNOWS HOW TO DEAL AND USE MURPHYS LAW!!!!!!!!!! SOMETHING SHE CANONICALLY KNOWS HOW TO DO WITH HER OWN BAD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DIALOGUE ITSELF IS ACTUALLY RLY GOOD CHARACTER WISE TOO WHICH MAKES IT HURT MORE

(ALSO IT NEEDS TO BE SAID. I DO NOT GET ANYONES COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE PHINEAS AND FERB EFFECT VS MURPHY'S LAW. THEY SET THIS UP IN PHINEAS AND FERB WITH JUST OUR LUCK, ALL OF IT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE WITH PREESTABLISHED CANON, AND MURPHY'S LAW IS ALREADY SPECIAL IN THAT IT EXISTS!!!!!! ITS REASON FOR EXISTING ISNT EXPLAINED, JUST WHAT IT IS IN TERMS OF CANON!!!!!!! IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

AND THEN SHE BASICALLY DOESNT DO SHIT FOR THE REST OF THE CROSSOVER!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE STUFF SHE DID DO BASICALLY DIDN'T MATTER OVERALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ISABELLA WAS MORE USEFUL OVERALL!!!!!!!!!

AND THEN THEY BRING IT UP AGAIN AND AGAIN THROUGHOUT THE REST OF THE SEASON, ITS A WHOLE PLOT THING, THAT "OOOOH, DOOF HAS BAD LUCK AND TENDS TO MISPLAN, HIS SITUATION IS SO SIMILAR TO MILOS!!!!" EVEN WHEN THE CHARACTERS THEMSELVES ARGUE THIS

BUT CANDACE DOESN'T SHOW UP AGAIN AND THEY DON'T EVER EVEN MENTION HER OWN BAD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOOF HAS HIS OWN BAD LUCK, YES, I DONT DENY THAT, ITS ALSO PROVEN CANON, BUT CANDACES SITUATION IS INFINITELY CLOSER TO MILOS AND THEY DONT DO SHIT WITH IT AND IT PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS TYSM FOR CAUSING ME TO WAKE UP WITH 99+ NOTIFS ON BASICALLY SOLELY CANDACE FLYNN STUFF MAD FUCKIN RESPECT

#CANDY-ASKS #CANDY-FRIENDS #TYSM I LOVE RANTING :]]]]]]]]]

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spikeinthepunch · 8 months

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i wanna say i hate to compare BG3 and DAI buuuuut you know they have similar intentions not including the combat system. theyre both high fantasy RPGs that focus on major story choices/consequences and making a protag that you can shape based on personality options, along with class/race specific effects on the way characters mold with you.

so. i think they can be compared, without any note of the technical advancements from since DAI came out of course.

and i say this just based on my current progress (i guess the first 'part'? i just got to the end of the druid grove stuff). i think the bg3 protag is fine! no issue there really, its different but i like what i can do. but i can feel the issues with romance in this game creeping up, as i had heard some things started before by others... that theres a very quick focus to romance. and honestly.... is it romance even at this starting point? immediately i am just asked about who i want to fuck. i like to fuck, i like the sexual relationships. but i can see where ppl may have their issues here.

on this first celebration with the party members, the woman who i helped do the raid with, who i literally dont know, before i even got to the party was like- i am talking to you in your mind and i want to fuck you in thanks for this. and she is the one character you can just fuck without any relation with. and then i talk to Astarion who is like, who do you want to fuck tonight lol? and even if i hadnt talked w him, every other character there except Gale had the option to suggest i wanted to fuck them. bro i hardly even know these guys still. i want to fuck astarion eventually and im glad he turned me down bc honestly why would he accept?. but shadowheart and laezel were totally up for it!!! and man i hard travelled with laezel bc i dont like her lol.

and listen i am sure i will get to learn way more abt these characters that i romance but the fact i am opened up to the sex option immediately is just. so strange when i compare it to the romances of DAI. i think i could take a few characters who just want sex. thats normal. not everyone wants commitment and i would actually like that nuance. but also, really putting the sex on so quick and so blatantly is a surprise to me even as someone who wants to have sex stuff all the time!! but i like good writing too! and i imagine its even more uncomfy for others who really didnt expect or want that. to just assume you character wants to have sex so fast is weird and the only other option denying everything (no implication you want just romance/are interest but dont want sex) is just wild to me too.

DAI has such well written romances. really. i saw ppl saying they were excited this game would blow bioware's romance writing out of the water but i dont think i can say that at all rn and im not sure this current impression will change enough for me to say otherwise entirely....

this also goes into why "everyone is bi" isnt always good. because i think it takes a lot of potentially personal weight out of the writing. not even in that if one character is gay then there will be oppression angst between them and you for being gay. or that the straight one will voice their straightness in context of gays existing in world. its about how "everyone is bi" isnt actually good, chosen bi rep. its just a game mechanic thrown in to satisfy all ends. we can have bi characters, we just cant have them all being labelled that in order to fill that check mark.

dorian is a really good example in DAI of how a character being strictly gay and also facing in world oppression makes his romance storyline SO good. its so important for sexuality labels to exist bc it makes you an individual of your own. and for it to be EXPRESSED in some form too. a character should be able to voice their thoughst on their unique sexuality when you romance them. but the 'everyone is bi just because' means like no character is every talking about that, let alone in a meaningful way when the reason applies to every other companion.

sorry did not mean for this to become a rant on romances. im still looking forward to the writing that will unfold with these characters but i think its so important to not get lost in the hype (and the hate to DAI? which i think is just hate to bioware really) bc people ALWAYS get to ahead of themself when they hear "you can romance anyone regardless of gender" without thinking twice about whether or not that makes it good writing or rep

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lettersformiah · 2 years

Text

9:37am, 7 jul

hey bubs. only two days of placement! lets go. in my head its friday but its not and im so sad about it. i was late again hehehe i always am though bc i have no sense of urgency bc its fucking school. only late by like a halfa (or technically an hour if you count acg) but yeah i woke up and was like non and then woke up at like 8:15? but yeah. got the 9:25 bus and the worker people who do the stop and go signs had to stop them so i could cross the road hehehe. they were very very nice. the construction, i learnt, is on a power line. dont know what happened there but hopefully it gets fixed soon. had glimpse of us stuck in ym head this morning so ive just been listening to it on repeat. i keep having to sign in at the office so mrs copley doesnt come for me about being truant hehe but how many times can i go there in a week and press the silly buttons about missing my bus or family or sleeping in. its literally a game to me to just fucking press whatever button i see first. getting out of french next period! or at least half of it because im gonna hang out with hannah. none of my friends know im here but theyve also stopped texting me asking where i am so im glad they are just like eh she will get here when she gets here. i dont know what to say to hannah. what do i talk about. i feel like i cant be as open with her as id liek and i know thats so detrimental but like,, ive never been good at being 100% honest with my counselors and stuff so! idk. maybe i just talk about internals and your parents and you obvs and then?? idk job stuff and my dad? and my sister. i dont know i guess i have a lot to say just as an update to my life. also! sorry for falling asleep last night bubba, i know you werent home and its a bit of a mb. its very very sweet of you to stay on call though bubba. makes me so happy :*] even tho rn joji is making me so sad bro like. :'[ oh! geo is actually due first week term 2 ^^ im happy about that bc then i can do it while i wait around for u to be done with uni. but yeah! the reliever :l told me that she wants as much as she can get from us tomorrow but to have all of it done over the holidays. which is nice for me bc then i can do the excellence stuff and get everything done. im so glad. i love mrs haggart sm hehehe shes a banging teacher fr and i hope i get her next year. bio will um be something. maybe he will say just to get it done by tomorrow which i can do all of it tn. and i can write my english! im so fucking happy with it. like smh and my writing isnt amazing by any means, but i found a nice system and sparknotes is like helping me so much so i owe my grade to them for deadass just giving me quotes and themes. i love the internet bro. imagine if i had to do it all from my own fucking brain. id be so pressed. but yeah! i dont know what the last two texts are gonna be but ill just search around sparknotes for some stuff and just randomly search novels ive read in my life. maybe i will actually do the maze runner, surely its on there yk? my nose is all sniffly bubba >:( the outside is pretty chilly and geo is warm as. the temperature difference being a bitch to my poor poor nose. so dog hehe but yeah! idk bubba. i love you! geo will be over in a second so this was just a teeny update on my morning and all that. i love you sm and thank u for everything. mwahmwhamwahwmah

talk soon

-mads<3

#letters

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richardsphere · 2 months

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Leverage Log: The Broken Wing Job

So this season's possible fourth episode whose title may be indicitive of an aircraft theme. (DB Cooper, First Contact, Very Big Bird being the others).

Look when they started shooting in a city that, aparently has an airplane museum. Using more plane-related sets makes sense logistically and financially. Playing with the opportunities provided there. Nonetheless, I hope very much it isnt aircraft themed. Maybe the broken wing just refers to like, an actual injury instead?

Maybe the client finds an injured bird, or its a metaphor being "grounded" by an injury? Like maybe this is one of those "1 teammate is stuck at home" episodes, like the one where Hardison overslept because of WOW. (that one had an aircraft too now that I think about it.) My metaphorical money is on "client was grounded, and the plan is to ground the Mark". But I guess we'll see. --- Cold open features the Crew. Thats odd. (i know technically the DB Cooper one also featured Parker. But she was wearing a mask so it could be a dramatic reveal. This one just goes right out and shows Nate frame 1)

Parker's got a bad leg. Wing identified and the crowd goes wild!!! Unfortunately "someone's stuck at home cause injury" is one of my least favourite types of excuse for a bottle episode. (which is usually the doylist reason such a plot is written.) I mean they can be funny, but they tend to overstay their welcome. Either that or everyone's schedules were just very busy for a month or two so they got them all together in a hallway in a hotel for 1 scene and paid Riesgraaf overtime. But these types of episodes are usually Budget or Scheduling motivated is what im saying. --- Quick google says an ACL is one of the ligaments in the knee. Parker better listen to Hardison or the next thing she'll be stealing is Archie's Cane. --- Episode introduces us to the Brewery Staff with a little get-well-soon bear. So it might actually just be an excuse plot to introduce us to a secondary/tertiary cast of characters for the season. (8 episodes into a 15 episode season is perhaps a bit late to do that.) --- Ok so we have a bunch of subplots couple where the girl thinks the boy is cheating. (my bet: Secretly planning to propose or something, hence being away more often for badly explained reasons.) Romeo and Juliet, (end up together, hopefully without double-suicides) "chicken Parm Jerk" who always orders the same thing, takes a single bite and sends it back. (Thats a verry specific behavioural patern. Feels very "Anton Ego" "if i do not love it, I do not swallow". Probably a secretly sympathetic backstory. "Loved it growing up, but it never tastes like Mothers Recipe" sort of deal) V&K, probably the episodes dedicated marks, (very pushy and specific about having the window seat. My bet is they're watchers/lookers for a gang. Either that or casing the security at whatever building is across the street) So they offer 4 coffees, and V (i think its V) takes 2 coffees outside. That means they have cohorts outside. Parker's anger that Hardison didnt wiretap the shit out of their lair-front is hilarious. --- Avoiding eye contact with Amy specifically. (I dont think i saw them lift their hand to block sightlines when they were getting served by another server earlier in the episode when they got the 4 coffees.) Amy's dad wants her to "inherit the family business", a business that is apparantly broad enough that "what is the family business" gets answered with "what isn't the family business". Amy's dad is a large corporate mogul and she's a valuable potential hostage. They're not casing the building across the road, they're casing Amy. Writers thought they could trick me with a feint but im onto them! --- V is smarter then K, (or at least more experienced) Professor Parmesan is fiddling with a thing on his finger (probably a ring, but i cant see it probably). Loved the recipe as made by a deceased wife, not a dead mom. --- Camera zoom in on the map. (IRL security camera's dont work that way. They tend to be shitty. But knowing Hardison and the importance of keeping this multi-billion dollar stock-manipulation enterprise afloat, he'd have sprung for actually good camera's and extra large storage servers. So im gonna say this is one case where the "enhanced zoom" is justified) --- Ok you're telling me that Hardison, in an attempt to set up a place where no cops or FBI would ever show up even by accident placed their front-operation across from a pawnshop full of potentially valuable antiques, a bank and a fucking jeweler. Are the writers fucking kidding with this? Like putting it across from one of these 3 would be a stretch given Hardisons goals in aquiring the Brewpub, putting it on a crossroads with all of these is character assasination on the writers part.

Hardison would not have bought a brewpub located at this crossroad. --- Amy getting really sus of Parker (who she knew was in a French prison) knowing so much about the psychology of a robbery.

"Okay i've got to ask, Is any of this illegal" --- Sid might actually be cheating. (sucks). But i guess Parker's gonna send that picture to his girlfriend. Romeo and Juliet both play the violin,

Parmesan is a doctor. 2 coffees with a tracker, trying to find "O" (the numbers are unknown, but my bet is on time, based on them all being multiples of 5, not one of the second digits being above a 6. I assume the leading 000 is to disguise the nature of the numbers) --- Oh, America aparently has special licensed plates for disabled people. Good to know. Also Parker has leveled up her Social Awareness enough that she now realises that telling Amy how she recognised it was definitly a getaway vehicle would be bad.

"you know what to do and I know how to walk... no offense." Great line 7/10. (cant really go higher then that on a line with no overall importance. Still its a good line) --- Amy's reaction to inadvertantly telling her Employers Girlfriend they've been lazy. (Good for her this entire thing is a front. You'd literally keep your job without customers) ---

Ah the good ol "Watson you're a genius!" trope, (its a classic. I love it.)

Oh no, is she setting Romeo and Juliet up with people who arent cheat and the ex. (which means something? I suspect cops like in the Bottle Job)

--- Oh V using the glass as a mirror, cunning. --- And the kidnapping gone wrong is underway. Dates were cops, Doctor Parmesan is a badass.

V spots the camera's. ---

Parkers beats the guy single-handed (or more like single-legged). Dr. Parmesan is gonna find a new food, one that can bring him joy instead of grief.

Zombie Movienight.

#leverage season 5 #leverage #The Broken Wing Job

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pesterloglog · 3 months

Text

Jake English, Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider

Meat, page 30

JAKE: Ah chaps dont you love to take a rigorous jaunt about the wilds first thing in the morning, middle thing in the day, and last thing in the evening?

KARKAT: NO

JAKE: By jove karkat that you are so winded by such little activity is truly alarming!

KARKAT: WE’VE BEEN HIKING FOR A FUCKING HOUR, DIPSHIT.

KARKAT: I CAN ALREADY FEEL MY LEGS STARTING TO LOCK UP. I THINK THEY’RE GETTING A HEAD START ON THE RIGOR MORTIS!

KARKAT: BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING KILLING ME, IS WHAT I’M SAYING. BY MAKING ME HIKE THROUGH NATURE IN A FUCKING SUIT.

KARKAT: GREAT WORK EVERYONE. YOU’LL BE OFFERING UP A PRE-ASSASSINATED PRESIDENT TO A FRENZIED ELECTORATE. AWESOME STRATEGY!

JAKE: Perhaps you need a better calisthenics routine. I can suggest several alterations to your morning workout and even give you a lesson or two myself!

KARKAT: MY MORNING WORKOUT??

KARKAT: I COULDN’T THINK OF A MORE OFFENSIVELY PRESUMPTUOUS PHRASE IF I TRIED.

KARKAT: ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK IS A CALISTHENIC?

KARKAT: IS THAT THE NAME OF YOUR FAN CHERUB??

DAVE: hey jake were cool on the whole cardio program or whatever

DAVE: karkats not really what id call a kinesthetic learner

KARKAT: HEY!

KARKAT: I CAN HOLD MY OWN IN A THRESHING MATCH BETTER THAN 99% OF THE SQUISHY, PLACID HUMAN POPULATION ON THIS PLANET.

KARKAT: I WAS LITERALLY TRAINING TO BE A COMBAT SPECIALIST ON ALTERNIA.

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD SOMETIMES TRY TO REMEMBER AND *FUCKING RESPECT* THAT FACT ABOUT ME???

DAVE: hm

DAVE: gonna make another mental note about which material to avoid when writing your campaign speeches

DAVE: like

DAVE: dude is nuts with a sickle

DAVE: can carve a bloody arc through a surrounding circle of gathered squishy humans

DAVE: watch their guts spill on the floor while he roars at the sky in honor of his genocidal ancestors

DAVE: were kinda trying to downplay the idea that trolls are naturally good at violence and shit here?

DAVE: hey speaking of which

DAVE: jake you wanna back karkat in this election or what

JAKE: Uhhh...

JAKE: Ah i see. That was your purpose in coming out here.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: that IS basically the only reason either of us would waste time climbing a mountain instead of like

DAVE: almost perfectly replicating the experience by checking out sweet stock photos of a mountain on the crockernet image search while spraying our hive with air freshener or something

DAVE: oh hey wait that reminds me

DAVE: isnt it fucked up how jane literally owns the internet??

JAKE: Id never really thought about it i admit.

DAVE: its pretty fucked up trust me

DAVE: like she already owns the major method of information dissemination and now she wants to be the one ultimately in control of what information gets disseminated

DAVE: do you really think one person should have all that power

JAKE: Hmmmmmmmmm.

KARKAT: THE ANSWER IS NO, IDIOT.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: which is why you should back us and our campaign

DAVE: our campaign slogan for the purpose of this conversation only is “hey isnt it cool how were not jane and also we dont want to own everything”

DAVE: and also... man

DAVE: on a more personal note

DAVE: i mean have you even SEEN the shit janes been saying about you in the media

JAKE: Ive seen the shit YOUVE been saying about HER!

JAKE: Your poorly optimized billboards about “huge dunks” on the economy and “neoliberal austerity measures” tumbling down geometrically improbable staircases have made quite a stir in the neighborhood.

JAKE: These advertisements play at all hours of the night my good man. One can hardly get a wink of sleep!

DAVE: yeah but at least we paid for it out of campaign dollars instead of spinelessly setting up super pacs to spew out propaganda for us

JAKE: Super pacs??

DAVE: oh yeah

DAVE: listen to this bullshit

DAVE: so theyre technically expenditure independent committees meaning they can allocate unlimited funding for...

KARKAT: LOOK, DAVE. JAKE REALLY DOESN’T CARE WHAT A SUPER PAC IS.

KARKAT: I DON’T THINK ANYONE CARES ABOUT FUCKING SUPER PACS??

KARKAT: I KNOW YOU PUT A LOT OF WORK INTO YOUR SPIEL ABOUT IT, ESPECIALLY THE RAPPED SEQUENCE.

KARKAT: BUT YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO GET ANYBODY TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THIS STUFF MAN, I’M SORRY.

DAVE: mmff noomph

KARKAT: JAKE, THE POINT IS THIS.

KARKAT: JANE IS HAVING YOU SMEARED INDIRECTLY.

JAKE: Well that would be the way to do it i suppose if you wished to keep clean hands in an inherently dirty business.

DAVE: ok but thats partially my point

DAVE: were doing all our propaganda in house instead of outsourcing to unscrupulous shadow networks with deep money pockets

KARKAT: FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.

DAVE: what does that mean

KARKAT: AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE YOUR “ARTISTIC VISION” DAVE, I THINK THAT YOUR POLITICAL ADS ARE LARGELY GOING OVER PEOPLE’S HEADS.

KARKAT: THEY’RE KIND OF...

DAVE: bold?

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: oh you mean avant garde

DAVE: well yeah

DAVE: everyone knows that

KARKAT: NOT REALLY HOW I WOULD PUT IT EITHER.

DAVE: nuanced

DAVE: oh wait

DAVE: visionary

DAVE: you think theyre visionary as fuck

DAVE: ok yeah you got me

DAVE: im a forward thinker karkat

DAVE: this is just what life is like in the dave lane

DAVE: buckle the fuck up

KARKAT: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

KARKAT: I’M GOING TO SAY THIS FOR THE LAST TIME.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS!

KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE!

DAVE: yeah its awesome

KARKAT: YOU’RE WASTING CAMPAIGN MONEY!!!

DAVE: were fucking trillionaires dude

JAKE: Willickers dave has anyone ever told you that you have an uncanny talent for cutting straight and incisively to the point without sweating any of the bullshit.

JAKE: Youre rather like dirk in that way actually.

DAVE: i... what

KARKAT: HAHAHA. *DAVE* IS GOOD AT CUTTING THROUGH *BULLSHIT*??

KARKAT: STRIDER IS A FOG MACHINE OF *PURE* BULLSHIT.

KARKAT: THERE IS NOTHING THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH THAT IS *NOT BULLSHIT*.

DAVE: thats basically true

KARKAT: AND I’M PRETTY SURE DIRK MIGHT BE EVEN WORSE?!

DAVE: yeah pretty much

KARKAT: SORRY JAKE. I KNOW WE’RE SOLICITING YOU FOR THE SWAY YOUR HOT POPULAR ASS HAS OVER THE PEOPLE, AND NOT EXACTLY YOUR BRAINPOWER, SO MAYBE THIS IS SOMEWHAT UNFAIR, BUT...

KARKAT: THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE WORST TAKE I’VE EVER FUCKING HEARD IN MY LIFE?

DAVE: whoa chill out man

DAVE: remember were trying to woo this guy onto our side

DAVE: can you maybe go at least a solid minute without forgetting youre a fuckin politician now?

DAVE: that means you should try not to insult everybody you meet multiple times per sentence

KARKAT: FUCK!!

KARKAT: YEAH, I KNOW.

KARKAT: I’M FUCKING SORRY JAKE. FOR IMPLYING THAT YOU HAVE SLIGHTLY LESS CEREBRAL PROCESSING POWER THAN THE SWEATY WEDGIE THIS FUCKING SUIT IS GIVING MY THROBBING, HIKE-SORE ASS.

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: nope that still sucks

DAVE: you suck dude

KARKAT: YEAH, WELL CHEW ON THIS, “MASTER STRATEGIST.” MAYBE YOU TELLING ME I SUCK IS ACTUALLY THE SMARTEST THING YOU’VE EVER FUCKING SAID!

JAKE: Gentlemen!!!

JAKE: Jeepers fucking christmas.

JAKE: I was just trying to pay mr strider a gracious compliment not every little pleasantry need be taken with such blasted literalism!

JAKE: And i appreciate that youre trying to sway my political favor into your bungalow with a bit of the old elbow grease and cajolery even if your methods are wont to veer into full throated invective in virtually every single exchange no matter how harmless the topic.

JAKE: And i truly mean it when i say i DO appreciate the effort. Both at the brownnosing as well as the dubious restraint when it comes to impugning my noodle.

JAKE: But all this is adding up to make me wonder...

JAKE: Why should i side with either of you?

JAKE: Flattery is all well and good but i hardly think i would bother casting my knickers in with anyones lot based on the quality of praise or for that matter withholding them due to having my ego bruised from a verbal drubbing.

JAKE: Im not entirely ignorant of the rules of this jamboree. I understand that whoever i endorse will have a good chance of winning on nothing but my good word.

JAKE: So why should i trust ANYONE trying to win my favor right now? Do you have ANY case to make which does not involve glowing accounts of my muscular bottom???

DAVE: ok yeah we can do that

DAVE: you mean like

DAVE: an actual pitch?

DAVE: on policy or shit

DAVE: or vision for the world

DAVE: we can set you up bro

DAVE: or i mean this guy can

DAVE: thats what he was made for

DAVE: born fuckin leader right here

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: take it away man

DAVE: our boy jake here wants to be goddamn dazzled

KARKAT: LOOK, JAKE.

KARKAT: I’M NOT GOING TO TRY TO SELL YOU SOME LUDICROUS STORY ABOUT HOW I’M THE BEST CANDIDATE EARTH C HAS EVER SEEN OR ANYTHING.

KARKAT: I’M NOT GOING TO BE THAT ARROGANT, ESPECIALLY SINCE MY ARM HAD TO BE TWISTED RIGHT OUT OF ITS SOCKET TO GET ME TO EVEN RUN.

KARKAT: BUT AT LEAST WE’RE NOT HIDING OUR INTENTIONS.

KARKAT: AT THIS POINT, IT’S NOT A POLICY BEEF THAT I HAVE WITH JANE CROCKER.

DAVE: yeah im the one with the policy beef

DAVE: corporate welfare destroys public infrastructure

KARKAT: SHUT UP, I’M TALKING.

DAVE: word

KARKAT: WE’RE STILL LIVING ON AN INCREDIBLY YOUNG PLANET. LET’S BE REAL. EVERY PRESIDENT UP UNTIL NOW HAS JUST BEEN SOME BOZO BASICALLY PLAYACTING AT BEING IN CHARGE.

KARKAT: BECAUSE THIS WHOLE TIME EVERYONE’S BEEN HOLDING THEIR BREATH WAITING FOR ONE OF *US* TO RUN.

KARKAT: WHOEVER WINS, ME OR JANE, WILL SET THE TONE FOR SUBSEQUENT ADMINISTRATIONS FOR WHO KNOWS HOW FUCKING LONG.

KARKAT: IT’S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE THAT JANE WILL PROVE TO BE A COMPETENT PRESIDENT. I HAVE NO DOUBTS ON HER ADMINISTRATIVE ACUMEN, CONSIDERING THAT’S PROBABLY THE ONLY FUCKING THING SHE HAS GOING FOR HER, BESIDES A SERIES OF PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES WHICH I KEEP BEING TOLD AREN’T TOO HARD ON THE EYES, BUT FRANKLY, I STILL DON’T KNOW IF I’M SEEING IT?

KARKAT: I MEAN, SHE’S LIKE... *ALRIGHT*? I FUCKING *GUESS*??

JAKE: Now lets not be too unfair old chap...

KARKAT: I THINK I’M ALLOWED TO BE *UNFAIR* WHEN SHE’S HOLDING THE REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS OF MY ENTIRE SPECIES HOSTAGE.

JAKE: Ah. Point well met.

KARKAT: JAKE, SHE WILL SET A HORRIBLE PRECEDENT.

KARKAT: SHE’S INDIRECT. SHE’S PRIVILEGED. SHE’S CONCERNED WITH HOW THINGS *LOOK* RATHER THAN HOW THINGS *ARE*.

KARKAT: NO MATTER HOW NICE SHE WAS WHEN YOU WERE KIDS, HER DEDICATION TO THE APPEARANCE OF THAT “NICENESS” HAS ALREADY LED HER DOWN A PATH OF CORRUPTION AND DUPLICITY.

KARKAT: BECAUSE WHEN YOU LIVE INSIDE A SKIN THAT’S A LIE, YOU’LL EITHER GROW TO FIT IT, OR COLLAPSE UNDER THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF YOUR OWN SHIT-SPEWING COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

KARKAT: TRUST ME, I FUCKING KNOW, BECAUSE I USED TO SPEW AN UNTOLD AMOUNT OF SHIT.

DAVE: (yeah... “used to”)

KARKAT: DUDE!

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!

KARKAT: GET OFF MY BULGE.

KARKAT: YOU WANTED ME TO SPIN SOME FUCKING GOLD? TO BUST OUT THE *GOOD SHIT*??

KARKAT: THERE! I SAID IT! THAT WAS THE ***GOOD SHIT***!

KARKAT: I’M DONE! I DID MY THING! THIS MINCING HALFWIT IN THE TINY SHORTS CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS NOW!

DAVE: (no no that was good man)

DAVE: (i was just messin with you)

DAVE: (great job dude i love it)

JAKE: Well dash my wig!

JAKE: Ill do it!

KARKAT: DASH YOUR WHAT?

DAVE: fuck yeah

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #jake english #karkat vantas #dave strider #meat epilogue #page 30

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