lettersformiah

[lettersformiah]

12:06am, 16 aug

hey bubba. we are in a call right now. the vibes are low, cause i think maybe we are both low. im sorry for that. its late and im not tired, thats new. woo for not being asleep at 10pm, i guess? i love you. i dont tell you enough. i love you. im crying. i love you. youre on val. and i was singing but i stopped. i dont want to annoy you with my singing. its not very good most days.

i was watching the new season of never have i ever. and the last episode. paxton graduates and does a whole speech. everyone expects him to do something fun and stupid because he is hot and the jock of the school. but he doesnt. he talks about how devi showed him that he is more than what everyone thinks he is. thats hes more than he even thought he was. that she pushed him to do hard things, things he was bad at, and that he owes graduating to her. i resonate with it. its a silly netflix show and im not sure youd be thrilled to be compared to it. but,, i think youre my devi.

youre really lovely, you know? and youre too humble and silly to realise just how amazing you are. you were talking today about how you felt like you werent anything in a way, or i guess that you didnt do much and couldnt see how people would like you considering you are just a nice fella at uni.

i owe my life to you. i owe my happiness to you. i owe you all my grades and friends and everything ever. you dont see it, but then again how could you? you arent in my brain so you dont see how much i value you. baby, you met me at the end of one of the worst years of my life. but you met me. and you talked to me. and you kept me going. even for just a little bit, you kept me going. even while we were just friends and a bit goofy and a bit flirty but oh that doesnt mean anything-y. you made me really fucking happy. and of course you did, you make everyone happy and comfortable just by existing. but then, it was more. youve helped me so much and youve changed me so much. im loud with a purpose and with passion and im loud for you. but im quiet for you and kind for you and fast but slow but happy and sad and excited and scared and colorful. i am alive for you. i am me for you. because, i guess, you have found a way to give me being things a reason. i didnt know why i was anything before. sometimes i dont know now. but i know now that one day, ill be with you. ill be with you, laughing and cooking and cuddling. ill be the happiest person on earth. and i cant wait for the day i can see you and you wont be leaving. but, for right now, im just excited that im with you at all. im maddi because youre miah, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

i love you

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

9:19am, 8 aug

hi bubsy <3 i love you so much im in english right now and it so fucking boring. like we are just filling in the table of language features n shit and i do not care at all. mrs wilson didnt call my name on the roll so i hope she at least marked me present. but i hate her and i hate this class. thankfully only like 2 more terms of it to go ^-^ omgosh i just thought of it! today si the day you get your flowers >:] which means i cant upload this letter until after you get them and text me about them so i dont spoil the surprise! but yeah hehehe >:D i got some flowers sent to u bc obvs i cant cant get you any and i think you deserve some <3 im so sorry we havent been spending that much time together, its so fucking hard online bc i am so tired after work and dance and even just plain school and then when you are busy we cant call until late and by then im already so sleepy. i am very very sorry its so fucking hard recently but i still enjoy just sitting with you when i can. youre very very very lovely and i hope the flowers make u happy <3 mwahmwhawmahwmhamh other than that! i have a headache! but i get to hang out with kealan for a bit after school and chat so that will be nice bc i havent talked to him for like a few weeks? like properly talked ig? yesterday was mainly maya and leo chatting so i havent really hear about his life in a hot minute. thatll be fun. unless its raining then it absolutely wont be. oh! my dad is sick :( was a bit ill yesterday but this morning was even worse and didnt go to work. poor fella. i hope he feels better soon but at the very least i hope he doesnt give it to me bc as much as i hate it i do actually want to make it to gisborne this weekend. omg! my bday is saturday. so fucking weird. im gonna be old :D and our 6 month is tomorrow!! so the flowers are also for that, even though that wasnt at all what my intention for them was. they are bday flowers, anniversary flowers, and simply flowers because i love you. :D ! hehehe i love you soso smuch babba. i still have half an hour of this fuckin class left and my head achy and shit :( but ignoring that, the rest of my day will be all good and im excited to judt get home and eat bro. like i want a munch on the risotto and my chocolate and i want to talk to you. and then i have to deal with dance which will suck but this week i gotta actually go both days and im gonna try my best to enjoy it and be okay :D okok im gonna text u and tell u i wrote a letter so that u can remind me to post it after school. i love you!

i lub u so much and ur so so pretty and i cant wait to be able to give u a lil kiss on the cheek while ur sleepin cause ur sosos cute hehehhe >:D okok talk soon talk soon please wake up soon its unbearable without u <3 mwahwmahmwahmwah

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

9:37am, 4 aug

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!! MWHA MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH WAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWHA! 18 kisses for your 18th <3 <3

i love you sosos much and i hope youre sleep is good!! im so sorry i wasnt really around yesterday but sometimes life just gets me like that yk? but! im here now :D i love you i love u i love u i love u hehehe i hope you get spoilt and i wish i could do something more for your bday >:( its so painful that i cant have a dinner or just hug you :( i miss u so much. but! january! we make up for all the things in january! we can get a little mini cake and celebrate both of our bdays! and we gotta do valentines day then too! im excited for all of the things we are gonna do even though its literally like 4? 5? months away heh. getting ahead of myself but only bc i miss u so much! i want to do all of the things with u. and! we will get our cute airport meet too!!! heheheheh im so so so excited!!

im in geo right now and mrs haggart isnt here and the work is boring as os i dont want to do it hehe. maybe ill do it in french. but i dont think ill be doing much of anything then. i gotta take out some money before work for next week and ill need to buy a drink or smth. but when its slow i can buy a chocolate! or!! i really wanna try the new v so i might get one of those. the warehouse is so chill and i really like working there! shitty im working on ur bday :( but im excited to see sophie and aj again bc they are so sweet and they make working there not so bad. hehe i love you so much. i want you to be able to read this soon so i gotta remember to upload it asap. so hopefully i did that. i love you.

i dont have much news other than that. i still need to handwash a shirt for tomorrow which i think i can do before i hop on my bus. i also really wanna call u before work but i dont know if you will be around. might die if i dont talk to you for like 18 hours though >:(

im so excited to pick my subjects and im so so excited for next year. i was looking forward to year 11 last year (my mistake smh) but year 12 will be purely subjects i want to do or can do and there will be no english or science or french or silly fuckin algebra. and im excited ! apart from exams. im a bit worried about those this year because i dont think ill be able to do drama? bc i wanna focus on the alice in wonderland stuff. soo i think ill do geo and english? bc english sucks but i can ramble about techniques in a poem and answer some questions about it i think. i think i can do that okay. im excited to get a few extra weeks off too!! ill have an extra couple weeks as study leave but obvs only doin 1 exam sooo?

only a few mins left of geo! i did a little bit of work but honestly id rather spend my time thinking about u >:) i do that all the time. but been doin it a bit more today. i miss you and i love you. wake up soon darling cause i wanna talk to u agaon hehehe

i love you so much lovely

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

12:47pm 17 july

hello! im on a bus so this note is gonna be transferred to tumblr whenever i grt bsck home. also gotta try and type really fast before i feel sick as fuck. i lovr you bubba! im wearing the fun pants and i look ok? idk i feel kinda off about how i look but once i see my friends hopefully will go away. excited for the train!! soso excited but i lowkey need to check what train i take. its east im pretty sure. im not very familiar with the trains as much as i like to pretend i am. airpods r loud as fuck tn and im rnjoying it bc i can hear literally no one. i had a lot of fun on minecraft eith u last night hehehe. it was quite good and the swappage bedwars was a bit crazy and silly but overall had such a good time in a low stress environment :D i love you for putting up with my singing (especially when its bad - fuck high notes) but yeah. i love you a lot. you went to bed at like 4 so i hope you are sleeping well and i hope u stay asleep till like 12.

i love you,

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

12:14pm, 11 july

helloo bubba!!!

i dont actually know hwat youre doing atm? you had uni at like 8 but i think you might be sleeping? idk hehehe

but i woke up! got up and had some hashbrowns and toast and am drinking apple juice. its yum! but yeah!!! i had to kill a spider bc he kept walkin around. theres like fifty in my room at the moment and its a bit icky. idk hes right on top of my bed and like just dying on the ceiling. its a bit sad. buut! i dont veen knwo what to talk about really bab hehe ive been talking to you for ht epast two days there is nothing new.

but um!! yeah i uess i have the job interview and am seeing ali tomorrow! im really really nervous but i just gotta message muskaan and ask where im going and thens ort my outfit and bring a hairbrush and gum and my perfume to alis and hopefully be all good :D i just gotta have faith in the universe because this job would save me so much.

all i gotta do today is normal basic stuff like dishes and laundry and vacuuming idk. vry very boring but unfortuntely necessary.

this is a terrible letter bubba i have nothing to say LMAO

u gotta fuck off for a bit so ihave more to tell you hehhe

nah but i love you!! mwhamwhamwhamhm youre beautiful and pretty and stunning and omgosh ur so so cute

i love you

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

9:37am, 7 jul

hey bubs. only two days of placement! lets go. in my head its friday but its not and im so sad about it. i was late again hehehe i always am though bc i have no sense of urgency bc its fucking school. only late by like a halfa (or technically an hour if you count acg) but yeah i woke up and was like non and then woke up at like 8:15? but yeah. got the 9:25 bus and the worker people who do the stop and go signs had to stop them so i could cross the road hehehe. they were very very nice. the construction, i learnt, is on a power line. dont know what happened there but hopefully it gets fixed soon. had glimpse of us stuck in ym head this morning so ive just been listening to it on repeat. i keep having to sign in at the office so mrs copley doesnt come for me about being truant hehe but how many times can i go there in a week and press the silly buttons about missing my bus or family or sleeping in. its literally a game to me to just fucking press whatever button i see first. getting out of french next period! or at least half of it because im gonna hang out with hannah. none of my friends know im here but theyve also stopped texting me asking where i am so im glad they are just like eh she will get here when she gets here. i dont know what to say to hannah. what do i talk about. i feel like i cant be as open with her as id liek and i know thats so detrimental but like,, ive never been good at being 100% honest with my counselors and stuff so! idk. maybe i just talk about internals and your parents and you obvs and then?? idk job stuff and my dad? and my sister. i dont know i guess i have a lot to say just as an update to my life. also! sorry for falling asleep last night bubba, i know you werent home and its a bit of a mb. its very very sweet of you to stay on call though bubba. makes me so happy :*] even tho rn joji is making me so sad bro like. :'[ oh! geo is actually due first week term 2 ^^ im happy about that bc then i can do it while i wait around for u to be done with uni. but yeah! the reliever :l told me that she wants as much as she can get from us tomorrow but to have all of it done over the holidays. which is nice for me bc then i can do the excellence stuff and get everything done. im so glad. i love mrs haggart sm hehehe shes a banging teacher fr and i hope i get her next year. bio will um be something. maybe he will say just to get it done by tomorrow which i can do all of it tn. and i can write my english! im so fucking happy with it. like smh and my writing isnt amazing by any means, but i found a nice system and sparknotes is like helping me so much so i owe my grade to them for deadass just giving me quotes and themes. i love the internet bro. imagine if i had to do it all from my own fucking brain. id be so pressed. but yeah! i dont know what the last two texts are gonna be but ill just search around sparknotes for some stuff and just randomly search novels ive read in my life. maybe i will actually do the maze runner, surely its on there yk? my nose is all sniffly bubba >:( the outside is pretty chilly and geo is warm as. the temperature difference being a bitch to my poor poor nose. so dog hehe but yeah! idk bubba. i love you! geo will be over in a second so this was just a teeny update on my morning and all that. i love you sm and thank u for everything. mwahmwhamwahwmah

talk soon

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

12:38pm, 5 july

hey bubs. i hope youre sleeping well i dont know if i could write this without adressing the elphant in the room that is the way your parents are treating you. fuck them and fuck their twisted rules and manipulative bullshit. its ridiculous and you dont deserve it and im so so sorry you gotta deal with them. they treat you like a child and everyone can see that you are so much smarter and self aware than they believe. the lack of trust and respect is so apparent and its insane to me that they think they are doing whats best for you while make you fucking hate them. theyre not it and no one would blame you if you walked the fuck out. come live with me for a bit bub, my house is open if you figure out a way of getting here. love you

went to school late today. got here at interval so i missed math and english. drama was fine and chill and we couldnt perform because we were fucking around and like it was a bit messy and jamayn wasnt there so we couldnt even do it if everything worked out. we have to do it p5 tomorrow because leo isnt even here on thurs or fri. its messy as. but yeah i woke up and i was like no. and then i woke up at 9:30 and was like fuck it may as well just take my time. i went eventually i guess. 3 periods better than none. kealan did the same thing! he misse 1-3 though. maya is at home too. today was just no ones day. yeah um. i guess when shit goes iffy with your parents it really fucks me up. im sorry bubba. leo told me to try and not let it get to me because theres nothing i can do. and hes right, but its so so hard. come live with me. please please please come over. uni can wait. everything can wait because you are so important. id do anything to get you to my place. i lub u <3

my sleeve is wet L i got it wet when i washed my face. bit sad :( idk when itll dry. um. yeah. i have nothing to say. im in geo. mrs haggart isnt here again and i dont wanna do anything. i know im just like putting it off because i have to do it otnight eventually but like god i do not want to. english tonight too. dont even get to talk to you. didnt even do my resume. i dont wanna do anything. call you during break! i just gotta think about that yk. i got this.

i dont know bubba. i dont know what to say. im just feeling down as hell recently and i dont know whatll help. fuck i forgot the uniform cause i was late. L for me. ill try and remember it tomorrow. theyre doing roadworks on whangaparaoa road again. the wieird stop go signs are back so i got off my bus this morning on the side of the road. was very odd but ultimately worked out because i didnt have to walk as far.

oh yeah! in a minute we have a lockdown drill so thats fun! half of geo is cut short because of it but i also have to move bc i sti right next to the window. annoying. i miss you so much bubba fucking hell.

ah! lockdown time, love you bubba. wake up soon!

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

11:59am, 4 jul

HI BUBBA! i miss you. have a break soon but i know youll have it in french and i cant go on my phone in french >:( preferably have it in the next halfa or not for another hour <3

um! in geo atm! i did some work but im not feeling it and i got distracted so im gonna bang out this letter and maybe go back to it while messaging jazz hehehe.

english was okay. its due on friday so again gonna do the ol one a day moment. which should work out because u actually have placement for ages so im never gonna see u so i got nothing to do but schoolwork :l its a bit shit but maybe it was fate.

drama was goood!! im assessing tomorrow and im excited! we all went into the auditorium for like an 'open rehearsal' thats what we called it ehe. so i got to see everyone! bhavyas group (bhavya, emilia, idony, ananda, cory) is um.. its something! its messy and not very good and also doesnt make sesne really but hopefully they clean it up a bit. michelles group (michelle, joselee, holly, ava, madi) is actually pretty good! a bit like confusing? and jumpy but its still very solid. and i really love ours and what we have created. we got really good feedback and everyone liked it and i only kinda fucked up a line but cash fully fucked one towards me and everyone laughed. good vibes however tomorrow i hope that doesnt happen, as funny as it was.

french next! i dont have the work i was supposed to do but whatever. i forgot about it and lived a good life with a fun sunday. it should be ok like just messing about and chilling. normal french things.

bio!!! idk what im gonna do. i guess ill probably have thursday to work on it too since i missed last thursday? i hope i do because like i need it. unless i somehow do it all this period. i dont know. im not that stressed because i dont care that much and its not that hard really. should be a okay and just chilling.

sidenote! weird not having to wear masks anymore, im so used to it it feels so different having things come bak to what they used to be like. bit odd cause ive kinda forgotten what it was like. anyway! maybe i do some geo work hehe. i love you, go on break soon.

talk soon bubs!

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

10:26am, 1 july

hey bubs! in geo atm and its boring as cause we have a reliever. its like ok and i should be doing work but honestly i dont care and ill do it sometime i guess. drama was ok! i got more lines >:) only got one more lesson before we have to perform so hopefully i remember everything ok and dont fuck it up cause we have been ummm kinda messing up our lines in rehearsals so hopefully it goes okay. i think i just get a lot of the words in the wrong order and dont trust. but i will trust what i say when we actually do it. never done it in proper costume and i probably wont so we will see! its just a long skirt and my blouse so i gotta remember to wear my stocking and blouse next week. and gotta remember to not be in a lot of pain too. i hope everything goes well, should do :D

um yeah! you got like no sleep last night and i dont know why :( i felt bad bc all i kinda did was sleep bc period things. but i hope tonight is better and i hope you arent too terribly tired and falling asleep. i beleive in you. i love you. got french next! which is alg bc we just go pls mr moss can we play pictionary and then he goes >:l fine and its great. big up mr moss. gotta take off your hoodie though which is a bit of an L but its alright bc i just put your hoodie back on in pe perhaps. i think its the plan heeh >:) i feel like ive had a whole day and its onyl been like a period. my cramps are okay! they were a bit shit while walking but the painkillers kicked in and im going well :D surprisingly im happy to be back bc fridays are like really chill. im so excited for one week left omg! like ugh i cant wait for these holidays.

im secrelty watching 2016 grian videos for that nostalgia and its very good. i remeber watching them as they came out and its very sweet ehehe. yeah! im hungry >:( like idk why period = hungry and tired which is a bit unfortunate. my eyes hurt >:( its rude! but no screens for p3 and 4.

this letter is all over the place sorry hehehe but at least we get to hang out tn and tomorrow night and sunday! like bit shit im not really gonna see u next week :( my sleep will be atrocious without you and youre probabyl gonna have a shitton of letters to comb through when you have the time. but we ignore! i think we play more escapists and fall guys. its really fun with you.

okay okay okay im gonna go! i love you, i hope placement is going okay. talk soon bubba

mwahmwahmwah!!!

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

j.s.

i see you/youre soft/lovely/kind/passionate/squishy/huggable/ lovely/friendly/long kisses/longer hugs/crinkly eyes/giant smiles/small giggles/hearty laughs/single tears/bears/hugging them/home/comfort/peace/pancakes/yellow/pink/brown/singing/all of my outfits/my heart/my soul/my love/tulips/mumbles through lyrics/dinosaurs/chips/tomato/onion/cheese/nachos/apologies/ letters/showers/rainfall/hamilton/plushies/blankets/spotify/jett/ omen/raze/teemo/roadhog/junkrat/met gala/hello kitty/moths/ butterflies/most animals, really/sun/clouds/ocean/busses/bridges/ napping/alarms/humanity/earth/its entirety/air/forgiveness/ generosity/love/warmth/fireplaces/gingerbread/bakeries/libraries/ sleepiness/rgb/vines/fairy lights/glasses/dogs in cute outfits/crackly voices/disconnected calls/lego/hobbit holes/hearts/medicine/ charity/bad jokes/drill/bad drill, sometimes/go fish/netflix/youtube/ risk/alice is dead/whiskers/paint/pokemon/misspellings/voice notes/small things/big things/but truthfully?/youre everything/all at once/

#poems

[lettersformiah]

12:03pm, 29 june

MORNING BUBBA!

you are asleep cause you had the night shift placement so im not gonna see you for a while today but thats okay! im at home again so i can focus on these internals and thats what im about to do! just opening this letter so i can update you on my day as i go instead of bombarding your phone (but maybe that too) yeah so!

this morning i got up finally and had some toast n hashbrowns. hopped on me pc and i fleshed out more of the musical playlist so thatll probably be my fuel for this work for the next like 6 hours. hopefully im somewhat done by the time you get up but yk. i gotta do english >:( its gonna be 2 connections paragraph (~2 hours?) and two responses (~3 1/2-4 hours) english sucks cause it takes so so long but we will see! let u know <3

1:07! hi again bubsy! i finished my connections! all of it! wrote two paragraphs and fixed the hamilton one and did the conclusion! so tomorrow in english should be all good :D im pretty happy with it! now time to do the reponses! brb <3

UPDATTE LMAO 1:48 so! i startred working on the responses and then got distracted bc cash messaged me so. update time with it. i dont need to do it. like deadass do not need to do it at all. apparnelt in week 8 of next term we select either the connections or responses for the 4 credits. we dont get to pick both. just so like u can pick the one with the better grade n all that. but that amount of work is not at all equal wtf? 6 pages vs 4 paragraphs? like bro connections is also so much easier and way more fun to write about. i think im gonna be okay with it since i did and i think its definitely passable if nothing else and thats all i care about so its all good :D hope youre sleeping well. now it is geo time i think. and then maybe im done??

2:10 made a to do list with all the things i gotta do and its mainly just a lot for geo. geo is a lot fo writing but overall not actually that difficult. gonna do it until 3 and then gonna get lunch and do some chores. love you

4:48 almost 5 :O couldnt focus properly on geo, did some boring stuff like fixing the alyout and a teeny bit of writing but it was a bust so i got up and had some lunch, did dishes, had a shower, took my clothes off the rack n put em all away, and made my bed. i think thats all i did. only took like an hour and a half ehehe. im waiting for u to wake up but i know u wont. but also u wont be tired tn if u sleep forever so youll fuck up ur schedule u goof so hopefully that doesnt happen and everytyhing is alg.

but yeah! back at the pc now with a clean room and its nice :D id like to say im totally gonna do more geo n stuff but honestly i just wanna chill ykyk. im happy i did english since that was the most pressing issue i had. but everything else i dont ereally need to do i dont think. so it should be alg. french tomorrow will be shaky at best but honestly what happens happens and im sure ill get an achieved yk. so will be okay i hope. i love you, wake up soon please dear, mwah <3

talk soon,

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

11:38am, 27 june

morning bubs! or almost afternoon i guess!

placement time for u whihc sucks for me bc it means that im just in class alone and bored as fuck. but its fine >:( in geo right now and we dont have a teacher (i texted you about it). geo due friday night? i think its like okok

monday: french

tuesday: half day LLC

wednesday: half day

thursday: english connections, bio

friday: geo

monday: english (again)

tuesday: drama

busy fucking week smh >:( french is next tho so i can bang that out and just honestly like,, wing it? its not for credits so it means i dont care like,, honestly. i should really like obvs i dont want to fail. but an achieved is fine with me. i just think im gonna forget it and pronounc eit wrong, which is compeltely fair considering i have never actually learnt what im trying to say. tryna learn it in half an hour hehee. we will see ig and ill def message u how it goes. then bio which should be okay? its just researching and like relaying info and making a report. it should be like okay. and its open book! so even more ok. just a bit boring.

yeah i dont have much to say really sorry ^^ small letter today just sorting myself out through you and a letter hehehe

youre welcome bubba, ill make up for it soon! i love you

talk soon,

-mads<3

[lettersformiah]

9:12am, 23 june

hello bubba!

you are at home sleeping rn and i am here instead of in your arms? so dog. but yeah ^^ in geo righ tnow and i dont actually give a fuck about doing this internal right now. i had a bit of an annoying morning with my phone dying and all that so im just not a fan (i just sneezed hehehe) im so sniffly now because the geo room is quite warm compared to outside. i havent seen maya or muskaan today becase when i got to the class there were only a few people in there. apparently it was because mrs copley got them all to help out with matariki and go to the stage? and do stuff? i dont know and i also wasnt really told by cash or leo smh. they just said they had to do stuff and were content with just that. so whatever, ill see them at interval.

i hope you wake up soon but i know you wont smh. youll probably wake up during the assembly maybe? or even while we are at countdown before the festival. i dont knpw actually. im not looking forward to french but i can just fuck around and try and memorise it. i know some of it? its like 'mon ecole primaire? elle s'apellait stanmore bay. je n'ai aimait ca parce que les gens etait mechants et enervants.' thats the first part of it. i know the ideas that i talk about but i dont atually know what it said. something about 'je prommais -- ecole car je vivais cinq minutes'?? something like that. unsure hehee but i guess thats what i have next period for. im excited to drop french next year hehehe. i feel bad quitting it after 4 years of learning it but honestly i dont want to do the internals or externals for it next year and im very very average. and im ok with that. plus! i can take another subject :D i gotta look into that with you, tonight maybe? hopefully youll be down for that.

im actually okay with the assembly today. its gonna be outside bc covid which is both good and bad. bit cold but also no mask wearing. i dont know where we are meant to be though. apparently the black mat? but how do you fit a whole school onto one court? i dont think you can. and the whole plan is a bit scuffed. some people know it but i havent been shown. i dont think ill be able to wear your hoodie for it though :( they are very grr about uniform obvs bc its a formal assembly but i just put it in my bag after interval and chuck it back on! and i jus zip up my jacket for french so mr moss doesnt throw a fit. hes a nice guy really but me and him dont get on sometimes. but i love him truly, hes my favorite teacher. i think i just get on his nerves sometimes. but whoops! im not for everyone all the time and thats okay. but yeah :D i have no idea what theyre gonna talk about in the assembly tbh. i dont think we have ever have a matariki one and its also meant to be from like 11:30-12:30. what do you talk about for an hour? i guess maybe with songs and lil speeches and things. im assuming itll be like the anzac ones. so necessary, but horribly boring. but i dont mind spacing out for a bit. and! ill be with my friends :D i can sit with muskaan which is nice since i got no classes with her. will be a good time. even though we always make each other laugh during the national anthem. we always end up giggling at leo because his voice is so deep compared to everyone else. so we do the thing where we look at each other and just crack up. its really bad sometimes. hopefully today will be alright!

im also excited not for the festival itself but to just hang out with ym friends. and see leo and myaya performing! but mainly just to be with muskaan and kealan >:) we hung out on sunday obvs but i havent just existed with them since no classes. sad thing about being a senior i think. but i have no money to go to countdown with :P i think i just mooch off of kealan. but if he pays for just like something for all of us to share. but he cant even eat anything because of his braces. thats shit :( i dont know. we will see i guess. i feel bad taking and using money from him even though he assures us its fine. but i dont know. maybe itll be alright.

i got half an hour of class left. did they play dnd last night? were we meant to be there? i swear i went to bed at like 10/11 and you guys were playing val. wasnt dnd meant to start at like 8? or even 10? but i wasnt told about this. thats shit. i hate that i dont stay up late anymore. i think this weekend i do :D bc its a long weekend! so i can try and stay up later tn and tomorrow night. and then its all good. i have no plans for tomorrow except for wash my sheets and do some schoolwork. which please please please make me do i have so many internals due next week and honestly it ouwld be easier to just not do them and cry about it instead. but i gotta.

my sister also texted me! well you know that, but we did the old oh yeah how u im good how u and then i left her on delivered because i genuinely forgot to reply. or i didnt knwo what to say. i never know what to say to her. she asked me if i wanted to do the daffodil day volunteering so :D i do, i was meant to last year? year before? i dont know. they cancelled it bc of covid. but its just the thing where we stand on a road and ask for money. good times. but i love daffodil day so anything to help out!!

so yeah! thats my life up until 9:38am. thrilling stuff i know. i dont know. i wish you were awake. i wish i was texting you or calling or better yet in the same room. i love you bubba. i love you so much :*)

hope your sleep is going well n youre having good dreams. i love you, talk soon.

-mads<3



#letters

[lettersformiah]

#moments

[lettersformiah]

4:33pm, 21 june

hey babba. im home now :D actually i think i was home an hour ago? i took the early bus bc kealan left school early. the bus was busy as but thankfully i dont have to stay on it for too long.

today was how should i say bad??? like bro d tier day. im going to complain about it for sure whenever i call you next but oh my god >:( math was boring but ok like just factorising, english was not fun. teacher got all growly at me and cash. not fun smh. drama was fine! testing my patience as always but i think we have it figured out. geo was also fine! like boring bc internal stuff but i wrote and analysed like i was meant to. played chess at lunch and it was a bit ridiculous but i technically won in my heart. french was actually f tier bro. fake ass internal that i have to 1. write 2. give a speech of and then 3. i dont even get my paper with me bro. we are allowed 30 individual words in order to remind ourselves and its so sad. like,, french is already not my first language and then i hate public speaking and having to remember it,, in french,, and to not have the whole thing in case i forgot a sentence.. and then he is marking it based off of my copy from before the speech. just oh my :| not it all babe. its so shit. and i got my other english thing due in on monday, my other other english also monday (apparently), and i have to give the fucking speech too. at least then i get two half days. but still. i really am disliking this and tbh might not take french this year. hospitality here i come. wouldnt mind it tbf. ill talk to you about it tn i think. i love you. i hope the placement is going well, you are home soonish and i cant wait. fingers crossed your pc is alg tn but even if it isnt bro idc. i love you so much hehehe mwahmwahwmahmwah

talk soon

-mads<3

#letters

[lettersformiah]

circle review

3/5 stars!

got you to watch circle last night. it was good? ive already seen it so it was fun hearing you just say stuff and have opinions. some people i really hated (i have no idea how that old annoying guy made it through so much) and some people i liked. scratch that. the only person i liked was the 9yo. she didnt deserve to die. big up katie the mvp in my heart. she was wonderful and sweet and grr for that guy for winning and killing her. i will never understand why the pregnant lady was such a big thing against the literal child standing next to her. also! that whole fake marriage thing to get further in the game by craig and whatever her name was was actually so smart. like i totally vibe with it and i like it as a little side plot. craig kinda sucked tho, but so did his 'wife'.. so a match made in heaven i suppose. it was a good movie if you dont want to be too entertained but need to waste and hour and a half and be somewhat interested. i like the fact it was in one room. but the ending sucked bc it was like?? asking more questions than it answered? and i feel like the end of the movie is not where you put all the questions? i guess maybe they were setting up for a sequel? but im not even sure how that would work considering half the population is dead. and the guy that one sucked so no one would want a sequel following him. so strange. i choose to ignore the fact the movie continued and it ended right as he chose to kill her unborn baby. thats a fucked sentence hehehehe.

but overall, not a bad movie, i like the premise and the execution. 3/5 stars :D

#misc

[lettersformiah]

9:12am, 20 june

hi bubba! in english atm. ive had a morning and a half. late to school hehe. had to sign in at the office bc i saw maia with the little attendance slip that relievers have. signed in and rocked up. the reliever is nice, he is chill. nice enough yk? youre at your first placement rn! so shit you had to wake up so early for it. n you have to do it the next two days as well. like eek. but youre amazing so i trust youll be fine. or even better than fine. i believe in you. just shit that i cant text you hehe. but its okay cause i have the letters and music and fifty internals to focus on. did i tell you french was also spoken? im terrible at french pronunciation. what can you do i guess. my kiwi mouth cant get around the fact that french is just gurgling. hopefully ill be fine.

wearing your hoodie at school ^-^ its nice and big and warm. i love it so much. im wearing so many layers bc its so cold. or not even that cold. so windy. and wind makes everything cold. got my stockings on, your hoodie, the big fleece jacket, and socks >:) which i dont think you are meant to wear with stockings, but fuck it, im cold and my shoes are thin. the wind is fucking up my hair too. so dog of mother nature fr.

what else? oh! friday is matariki. or maybe its not? i dont know. friday is the public holiday for matariki, so thats good enough for me. thursday is a half day bc they are doing the celebration at school from 1-5. (however it means p3 on thursday is like a full school assembly) i think im meant to go to the celebration? i think i will from like 3-5 maybe. if you dont miss me too much. but youd probably be asleep knowing you. will see i guess heh. i just know my friends were interested in going. i still have dance though, so maybe i go and then leave at like 4:40? thats when the bus is and itll take me straight to dance. just gotta be sneakily wearing my dance clothes or take a bag. we will see! sounds like a good plan though, if i do say so myself.

i really can keep writing forever hehe! apparently always having something to say translates well into letters too! id be so good with a diary. but i think one entry would be like 40 pages long. so maybe its for the best this is online. saves me some hand cramps.

i love you! and im excited for drama! having our war piece kinda finished is good. but getting the guys to work its kinda very hard when they arent feeling it. but we definitely need to perform soon. the original plan was to have it be done at the end of term 1. its almost been like 3 months since that? thats some shit timing. but tbf im glad we have the time to work on it, i want it to look good. but i dont mind not getting an excellence, but i know leo wants it. which is fair. hoping all goes well and the boys focus up. ill let you know.

it was nice waking up to you this morning :*] wish it could be like that irl and every day yk? i dont think i was very good at conversation, i barely remember it but i remember definitely slurring my words a teeny bit. sleepy maddi things.

ive been writing this letter for like thirty minutes. crazy how the time flies when i just talk. tbf whenever i talk just about my day it takes about 3 hours to get through! and i didnt even get to tell you about yesterday and the full on day i had! and havent even mentioned watching the end of the summer i turned pretty with rem and hos and jazz or playing dnd! gosh theres so much to talk about i could go on forever. im happy you love that about me. im very lucky. youre a great listener which is perfect because im a great talker. love you bubba.

i should go i think. got other posts to make and some english to pretend i did. i love you, hope the placement is going okay and you havent fallen asleep injecting someone yet.

talk soon,

-mads<3

#letters